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auckie · 2 months

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To everyone calling the stupid trapdoor cute. The larger ones are so intimidating and intense. I’m not really afraid of many animals, save bears. We feed lividus and wandering spiders and giant ass centipedes, we don’t carry very venomous scorpions anymore, but we used to, and may again soon! Which I’m really looking forward to. Keeping medically significant species isn’t something I’m personally into, but I can appreciate how interesting it is just to see these creatures live in a captive setting.

Regardless. Feeding the armored trap doors is so fucking scary. They play dead, if they’re not in their burrow, and they’re these huge black things with what looks like plate armoring on their abdomen, which is odd for a spider this size, and they have huuuge chelicera and fangs, they’re HEAVY. They’re actually hard. Tarantulas are all soft and fuzzy and a bit squishy if you manage to somehow touch their abdomens. Delicate beasts. The trapdoors are literally fucking dungeon monsters, and since they came through the mail, when rehousing them, we had to regularly check that they were okay! So you see this big stupid beast in a death curl and think oh shit it died! And you gently poke it with a paint brush, or blow on it, or squirt it with some mist thinking ‘let’s see what happened’ or ‘maybe it’s dehydrated from the trip’. NO! Zero to sixty in a millisecond and you have to shut the lid to its enclosure without trapping one of its legs, watch it do fifty somersaults and physically shake the container while you wait for it to chill the fuck out. So then you come to anticipate this during feeding, and ideally they make their stupid little burrows what with the tripwires. It’s cute and cool yeah whatever. But since we’re trying to ‘feed expeditiously’ as my boss always puts it, and they’re huge and might take multiple roaches, you gotta lift the door sometimes. If you’re lucky, the roach runs in because it’s stupid and dark hole. If you’re not, even expecting the monster to emerge, it still scares the absolute shit out of you. I sweat every time I deal with them. Tena and pokies and even the Thai funnel webs who have a very dangerous bite and are also just as fast (but so much more relaxed) don’t faze me, I mean sure the centipedes sometimes escape and make everyone stand up alarmed or the wandering spiders make all the dudes talk about the whole permanent erection thing, but these guys have the element of looking like a toy Halloween decoration and moving as fast as an old world T. They’re so cool. But so scary. And I don’t even think their bite is *that* bad compared to some of the hot shit we carry. But I don’t care! but the little one I filmed was very cute and stupid I will give them that. I don’t think I could own one tho. They can’t climb smooth surfaces but that wont stop them from doing 28 backflips if you walk past their tank and I just don’t really feel like associating myself with something that does that, that isn’t at least fuzzy and funny and pink toed. Or even the sand spiders we got. They’re pretty dangerous. But they’re so goofy. Speaking of which I will post a video of one here to make up for a paragraph of text

#spider #arachnophobia #sorry my vice os so loud I hate hearing it recorded but I do think hearing my coworkers discuss the ice wall is kinda funny

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diaperliebe · 8 months

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Story Overview part 3

Honeys BFF

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

Part 4:

Part 5:

Part 6:

Part 7:

Honey Lionheart

Public diaper check

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miss-atena · 3 months

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Whenever I see fanart of the Leech twins in their mereel form, a part of me feels this deep sadness that every and each one includes scales. Moray Eels do not have scales, they have a mucus on their skin so that sand doesn't cling to them. And that sand is cleaned up by cleaning shrimp.

Also the abundance of fins when Morays don't have that many fins... I can get that one, from the design side, but even in their canon design they don't look scalie, guys.

As a Moray Eel nerd, I advocate for More Moray Compliance on the Tweels side.

#tena ramble #tena talk #twisted wonderland #twst #twst floyd leech #twst jade leech #floyd leech #jade leech #tweels #moray eel

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carefulfears · 11 months

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thinking about tena taking the photos of her children out of the frames and burning them before she died and mulder’s first reaction being “this is all she had left of us”

and how he could’ve said “this is all she had left of her,” but he didn’t, and he’s right. it is all there was left of them. all there was left of two kids playing baseball and arguing over a board game. all there was left of him before he was walking into the same room every day, before he was chasing ghosts, before no one talked about it.

all there was left of there being nothing to chase, of being still, of being a whole person to someone, knowing where you stand in the world.

it’s all she had left of her children, together and complete for some of the last times, and it’s crime scene evidence to cover up.

#it really puts the way that he constantly has photos of the 2 of them everywhere in a different perspective tbh #one of my favorite things about mulder as a character is the way that he does see samantha as a full person #not just a quest or in relation to him #and he has photos of her alone too #her school photo on the wall #her on the jungle gym on his desk at the office AND at home #but there are photos of the two of them everywhere #and those are the ones that he carries with him and that we see him pick up and hold and grieve and cry over #all that’s left of who they both were #of who HE was #thinking of that audries fic #‘the mulder with a missing limb’#sein und zeit

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courfeyracs-swordcane · 3 months

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Saint Beramun of the Wheel / Saint Tena of Revolution

Regular name Beremuntena the Brave, First/Third Circle, 6’2

Gender: sure. sexuality: knife. execution status: judge, jury, and executioner

Well. So. She’s a little fucked up in the head. Top ten guys with an intensely rigid moral code that doesn’t even really serve her but fuck if she’s not following it. She served in the war with Anje and Geram and went home to find her hometown destroyed by her own army and her [GUY] facedown dead in the mud, and then proceeded to hang out with the only other surviving guy from there for the rest of his life but also never talk about it ever again. Was one of the three original guys in the original relief effort that became the saints! Weird toxic gay thing with Anje about it (derogatory) that turned very sour very quickly. She took it really hard when ppl started trying to make a religion out of her and her buddies and decided the best thing to do about that (since none of THEM were gonna do anything besides try and politely dissuade it) was to kill them all publicly and individually! Which did kind of do the trick since at least now she doesn’t have to hear about it anymore but also now there’s nothing left for her to do but fuck off into the hills to fight whatever she can find until she gets herself killed.

Pros and cons below the cut!

Pros:

Big hot lady with a sword. I know my audience

Pink

Hangs out with a guy who has a dog?

Cons:

Not nice. Will not be nice to you.

Might kill you if she gets invested enough

If she’s not invested enough she will forget who you are entirely the second y’all are finished

The other guy she hangs out with has a massive crush on her and WILL hate you and make it weird (“that’s a bonus if you’re into cucking” — @wildfandom)

The three of them map pretty well onto any mean girl trio in existence (Heathers, Mean Girls, etc) except for the part where Tena isn’t even cool. Nobody likes her that much and she has no clout.

Despite the executions and the army career, she managed to basically avoid the idea that People Die When They Are Killed until she bashed her “best friend” (they don’t even like each other but they’ve been inseparable since she was eight)‘s head in with a rock after finishing the executions and fucking off into the hills

#toxic yuri let’s hear it for toxic yuri #Saint smash or pass #just me #beremuntena ballad brothers

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randomfoggytiger · 1 year

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The Mulder Family In-Depth (Part I): Colony and End Game

Bill and Tena (not “Teena” because of a Two Fathers script I read that spelled it that way, thanks @x-files-scripts for posting them~) Mulder are “two complicated, flawed, beautiful people” that deserved a deep-dive of their own. In doing a frame-by-frame, however, I discovered there was more than meets the eye to their character; and, slowly, one post turned into who knows how many. So, without further ado, let’s begin.

Pilot

During their first case, Mulder stops being a jerk to his little spy when Scully shows up at his motel door, shaking and scared. After the dust has settled and all is calm, he opens up about his sister’s abduction and the fallout it had on his family: “I was 12 when it happened. My sister was 8. She just… disappeared out of her bed one night. Just gone, vanished. No note…. It tore the family apart. No one would talk about it. There were no facts to confront, nothing to offer any hope.”

The only one who seems to have found hope and comfort from the past is Mulder, who goes on to explain how he found the X-Files and used hypnosis to recall his sister's abduction. He never mentions what his parents' thoughts are about this path he has taken; and doesn't bring them up again for a long time.

Aubrey

The first memory Mulder relates of his father is in Aubrey as he and Scully bat the likelihood of genetic predisposition back and forth: “Whe-when I was a kid, I’d have nightmares and I’d wake up in the middle of the night thinking I was the only person in the world. And I would hear this--” crunching down on a sunflower seed to illustrate-- “My dad would be in the study eating these.”

This was obviously comforting to a young Mulder, likely stretching to a time before Samantha’s abduction when his family hadn’t fallen apart yet. (It also ties into the discussion on insomnia later in this post.)

Colony

Mulder and Scully are interrupted from their mytharc quest by a summons from Skinner, who relates that Mulder’s father had been trying to contact him all afternoon.

Mulder runs to the basement to call Bill Mulder back; and is shocked when Tena picks up. As she passes the phone off to her ex-husband, Mulder shifts his cellphone nervously to another hand. His nerves are only heightened by his father's cryptic answers-- "I received a very strange phone call this afternoon. I called your mother. We think it is extremely important that you come up here as soon as possible.”

It's important to note that Bill tells Mulder that both he (which he denies later) and Tena wanted their son to "get up here"-- the up-here meaning Tena’s house in The Vineyard. What’s interesting about that is: Bill has not separated a meeting place with his son from his former wife’s house, all three of them taking for granted that they’d meet at Tena’s. It’s such a blurring of boundaries and lines that it’s easy to see why Mulder blurs those boundaries constantly with Scully, modeling his parents’ separate-but-not-really relationship.

Mulder has shifted in full-blown panic while Bill continues to dodge questions-- “I’ll know more when you get here”-- and hangs up, much to Mulder’s frustration.

Mulder leaves immediately, dumping the investigation in Scully’s lap.

When he arrives at the Vineyard, Mulder is stopped from walking inside by Bill on the porch-- “Your mother needs some time.”

Mulder goes in for a hug naturally, implying that at some point hugs were a tenuous normal between them, at least in times of crisis.

When Bill swiftly blocks his attempts with a hand stuck out for a handshake--

Mulder is aggrieved, but accepts it.

He is further pushed away by the distance Bill places between them: “SHE wanted you to come. It’s a difficult time.” He almost implies that Mulder was invited up because Tena requested it, not because he wanted his son there.

Bill Mulder appears distant and cold from the first moment we see him. The invitation and longing seems to be, by his own words, from Tena; and Mulder’s emotional outreach appears to be personally undesired and refused.

However, it’s incredibly important to note his facial expressions and relaxed posture whenever Mulder isn’t directly looking at him;

because, once his son has been redirected away from scrutinizing, Bill’s real feelings slightly bubble to the surface: he’s nervous and unsure. His smoking seems to be a distraction or a crutch as he tries to relate his jumbled feelings about the whole affair:

“The certainty. The calmness-- a comfort that allows you to move on. We bury our memories so deep after all that has been destroyed… never expecting--”

Here Mulder cuts his father off, having observed his mother through the window talking with a woman and roughly wiping away tears with her handkerchief:

The first time we see Tena is as a dynamic woman: her hands are traveling all over her scrunched up face, expressing intense emotions through her jerky movements and mile-a-minute talking.

Bill reveals that the woman is Samantha, with a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. (And, though the music is swelling menacingly and not painting him in the best of lights, in retrospect he isn’t menacing or smug: just… processing the shock in his own way.)

Tena is wide-eyed, amazed, bewildered, and hopeful when her son walks in the room.

After a night spent talking and processing, Mulder takes an active role in putting Tena to bed:

As he settles her in, Tena reflects: “After all those sleepless nights, I can hardly keep my eyes open.”

Mulder pulls her down gently, turns out her light, exhaustedly tries to softly soothe her for sleep-- "Well, you're exhausted. We all are. It's after 5:30."

Tena response? “Oh, I just need a couple of hours.”

She continues to comply as her son reiterates “Try and get some sleep", settling more firmly against her pillows and watching as he tucks her in, turns out her light, gives her a kiss, and begins to close her shades.

This interaction is CRUCIAL in the early stages of Mulder and Tena’s relationship dynamic:

1. Tena is afflicted with the same insomnia issues as her son. In fact, the two of them demonstrate an underlying rote awareness and second-nature routine as he becomes her caretaker-- pulling back the covers, settling her pillows, and guiding her into bed-- and she a compliant but wired patient-- “Oh, I just need a couple of hours”-- after having spent all night talking and enduring an emotional upheaval. (Insomnia doesn’t seem to simply be a post-traumatic response connected to Samantha’s abduction: Mulder states in Aubrey that he would be up late, or wake from a nightmare, and hear his father comfortingly cracking sunflower seeds in the study. Since these memories are from early childhood, it’s hard to speculate how late Bill Mulder’s habits were in comparison to a young boy’s bedtime.) At the very least, Mulder and Tena seem to have bonded over their terrible sleep routines. That would also explain how Mulder is a natural at tucking Scully in or letting her sleep on his shoulder.

But most importantly:

2. Tena and Mulder have an emotionally open relationship (or did until Demons.) Most often I find theories, meta, or fics depicting Tena as cold, aloof, or withdrawn; but this firmly establishes that she has no qualms talking about her vulnerabilities with her son. And furthermore, she has done so in the past, often enough that Mulder takes her declaration as a fact that doesn’t faze or surprise him. It explains Mulder's comfortability with emotional expression-- wide-eyed in his earnestness to not only help Scully heal in a crisis, but to empathize with victims and the downtrodden. It also explains why he gives so many forehead kisses and comforting hugs: he expressed his love and care for his mother in those ways, and she likely did it for him as well when he was small. It seems, however, that since Samantha's abduction the role has solely fallen on Mulder because of how effortlessly they fell into these heartfelt but wonky dynamics.

Before Mulder can leave, Tena pops back up and asks fearfully: "Fox, it is really her, isn't it?"

Mulder smiles, tired but content; and replies: "I don't see who else it could be."

Tena is not very reassured;

but she trusts her son and his instincts. When he further admonishes her to "Go to sleep", she sinks back on her pillows

and obediently closes her eyes against the worry.

As demonstrated, Tena and her son’s relationship is heavily baked in trust and trauma. She obeys his every word, clings to his every assurance, leans on him more than he leans on her. It’s a credible reflection of Mulder’s insanely trustworthy character: so many people rely on him and trust him on his word alone-- his mother, Scully, Skinner, TLG, even acquaintances and informants-- willing to put their jobs and their lives at risk to stand by him. Because Mulder is pure Truth: he lives by what he seeks.

Now: does this mean Tena is a compliant wallflower who does the bidding of everyone around her? No. Her stubborn, tough-as-nails nature will be explored in a future post about Talitha Cumi.

Regardless-- thus ends Colony.

And thus begins--

End Game

After the loss of Samantha (who no one knows is a clone at this point), Mulder leaves Scully on the bridge with an ominous parting statement: ”I already told Skinner, that was the easy part. Now I gotta tell my father.”

This is when Bill Mulder’s true nature is revealed: emotionally disconnected and harsh to protect against the scars of trauma.

Bill arrives at Mulder’s apartment with an expression much more open and, perhaps, optimistic than he had on their previous meeting.

He even starts the interaction by teasing his son-- “You didn’t have me come all this way to give me good news”-- which is a fascinating window into how Mulder developed his sense of humor.

The fact his dad is so cheerful and trusting is a further blow to Mulder, who had seemed to recover his family in one night only to lose it himself, again, in the next.

Bill sees that disaster lies ahead, donning the armor of stern anger to smoke out the truth. His son has become a suspicious character to interrogate and correct.

Mulder turns back-to, shakily explaining: “Samantha’s gone… Dad. I lost her.”

Bill pauses for a couple of heavy seconds, baffled, unable to wrap his mind around that thought.

When it clicks, he begins speaking rapidly-- “what do you mean ‘you lost her’?”-- taking swift steps into the room. For a split second, raw, vulnerable fear and hurt is written all over his face:

Mulder keeps silent for a stretch; but finally explains that his partner had been held hostage and Samantha needed to be exchanged. While he is fumbling with his words, his father’s eyes begin to glisten, and his mouth becomes more and more pinched to keep back the emotion.

“You let this man take your sister? …Isn’t that what you’re trying to tell me?”

“I… can’t explain it to you”-- Mulder pleads-- "But, um, I believed I was doing the right thing, Dad.”

His gestures are unsure: hand flailing as he tries to grasp an explanation, eyes averted to the floor, head bowed, shoulders hunched. Bill reads this all as guilt of thoughtless action, which turns to useful anger he can use to blockade off his feelings.

As Bill perceives it, his son’s actions have hurt him deeply, and lost Samantha for possibly the last time. Despite knowing how dear she was to the family, his son traded her for the safety of a work partner from (likely) the very people that had taken her in the first place. Bill sees this as reckless, and harshly punishes his son like a child who has killed a little bird in his careless actions. Chastisement has become the modus operandi.

“Was this your decision?”

Those words will haunt Mulder to his dying day...

(or would have if Samantha had not been a clone.)

“Yes.”

Bill Mulder was a military man; and you can tell he trained his son by those hard standards as well. He stands erect before his father, shouldering the blame and answering his commanding officer with a direct affirmative. But at the same time the little boy peeks through--trying to protect himself by tucking in his chin and manfully facing his punishment instead of slinking off into the corner to cry.

And like a little boy, he tries to show his father he's learned how to be good and take responsibility for his actions: “I’ll tell Mom.”

Bill continues his correction speech: “Do you realize what losing her again is going to do to your mother?” His barely restrained tears give away his true meaning: Do you realize what you’ve done to me?

While he expects straightforward honesty from his son, Bill himself practices deception by avoidance. He cannot bear to peer into the darkness of his own emotions and pain; so, he deflects them by projecting onto Tena.

When Mulder falters and doesn’t answer, Bill’s thinly held anger seeps through with more his clipped, uptight inflection:

“Do you?”

He is exuding more outwardly forceful control because his own has internally slipped.

Here it is demonstrated how alike and dissimilar father and son are. They both protect Tena in their own steadfast ways, but in very different ways. Mulder comforts and soothes her distress while Bill tries to guard her from the pain by wrapping her in protective layers from the outside world. He is angered that an unavoidable heartache was brought to her doorstep because it’s another home he couldn’t keep the conspiracy out of, following her even when she had tried to escape from his connections by leaving him. You could easily make the case that Bill is still in love with Tena-- whether it’s in a fond, by-gone-days affection bred by guilt or love that couldn’t be revived after the horrific loss of his family (similar to what Scully and Mulder went through during their breakup years.)

Mulder tries and fails to compose himself as his face crumples and his voice cracks: “I’m sorry, Dad. I-- I’m sorry.”

Bill turns abruptly to leave, overwhelmed; but pauses when he remembers the envelope left by Samantha for Mulder.

“Your sis--” his face softens, almost cracks;

then hardens as he copes by distancing himself as quickly as possible-- “...Samantha left this at the house for you.”

Mulder's anguish overcomes him again at the thought of a posthumous letter from his sister;

giving Bill ample time to retreat, slamming the door behind him.

This next part is still relevant, as it demonstrates Mulder's coping strategies he learned from his parents.

Mulder softly grasps the letter, expecting it to be a heartfelt note; but is surprised to see she'd written cryptic instructions that leads to an abortion clinic. He immediately turns tail and flees from his emotions by running headlong into his quest for answers, uplifted he can distance himself from the bog of guilt and head towards more active salvation. He may have lost Samantha; but perhaps he can redeem his failures with the Truth. He sees hope in that.

Thus ends End Game.

Thank you for reading! I will be adding more parts in future; but that might take a bit. In the mean time--

Enjoy!

#txf #analysis #x-files #the x files #meta #mine #S1 #S2 #Pilot #Aubrey #Colony #End Game #Bill Mulder #Teena Mulder #Tena #The Mulder Family In-Depth #Colony and End Game

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diaperalex · 10 months

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Hi! I'm on anon because I'm a little shy. I'm 17 and struggle with incontinence. I relate to a lot of your posts because I am also autistic and incontinent and special needs. I haven't been able to use diapers in my teenage years, sadly. But I have some money right now and can buy my own first adult diapers. Do you have any suggestion for a first adult diaper? A particular brand or something like that? I have heard ABUniverse is good, but I don't have much experience with this and I don't want my experience with it too be a bad one. Thank you for reading and have a nice day!

Hi! I am glad to hear that you can relate to a lot of my posts.

You mention struggling with incontinence. Have you talked to a doctor just to rule out potential underlaying conditions? I understand how you feel about being super shy because I am super shy myself.

Once you ruled out any potential underlaying causes, if you want to wear adult diapers, there are an incredible selection of great products to consider, depending on what you are looking for in absorbency level, plain white or printed ones, and of course, budget.

Plain white: Northshore MegaMax, AM PM Forsite, NRU Str8up, Incontrol, ABU Simple are in my top suggestions. Abri-Form M4 (Medium) or L4 (Large) are affordable and remains a good classic, one generation behind the newest ones with better absorbency and refastenable tape zone.

If you prefer cloth-like diapers, they let the skin breathe more, but many brands have the same issue with the tendency for diapers and tapes to stretch out and make the diaper become loose and more exposed to leaks.

If you are looking for the RollsRoyce for absorbency, I suggest the Trest Elite diapers. They are the world’s most absorbing diapers without any booster pads or stuffers added. They are expensive, but they are lasting much longer, which means using half of the amount of diapers. At the end, they end up being less expensive than most brand. My only advice would be to always add baby powder in those, and not wear them for longer than 12h when wet because it gets hard in the skin, and it’s better to change frequently and keep a healthy skin with proper hygiene.

If you want printed diapers, all the ABU diapers are very good. Most Rearz ones too, NappiesRus (NRU), Northshore Megamax have cool colours too. Forsite is more affordable, but not easy to get in USA as I heard. My favourite ones might not be other’s favourites. But I personally love the Megamax, Rearz Safari and Alpaca, ABU PeekAbu, NRU str8up blue and lil rascals.

If you are looking for pharmacy diapers, they are not necessarily the cheapest due to the monopoly of Tena on the shelves, offering thin diapers that will suit persons with mild incontinence. Tena is offering much better products in Europe and Oceania than what we find here in North America. Pharmacy brands are generally not the latest generation of diapers. They are handy in case of emergency, far from the best. Tena Super is what seems to be their best, cloth-backed only. The Tena Maxi slip are much better, and they are generally not available in the pharmacies in North America, but they can be ordered online at some incontinence supplies stores.

I suggest that you order directly from companies instead of distributors and resellers for better price.

Today, the market of incontinence supplies and ABDL diapers is blooming! There are so many good diapers, I can’t mention all of them here.

I hope my advices will help you choose the right product that you will like, and will suit you well. At first, I would suggest that you buy samples to compare the fit and comfort because there are some differences from one brand to another.

Alex🦸‍♂️

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