#tbh even if I got a comment that said ‘I hate you I’m going to kill your family’ on chapter 75 it still means they read 75 chapters first…. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

whatifyoulivelikethat · 1 year

Text

don't hold hands, m | myg

pairing(s): yoongi x reader

summary: You're fucking your ex-boyfriend's ex-best friend. You also now own a condo with him and owning this condo has made you house-poor. Yeah, it's not the usual love story and it's not going to be one. Not until you paint the walls black, that is.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; mostly conversations and feels tbh; minor smut (fem reader, marking / scratching, m-receiving oral, doggy, penetrative sex); non-idol!AU; guitarist!music producer!Yoongi x novelist!reader - fwb / roommates-to-lovers

just a story about two people who shouldn't fall in love falling in love, I have plenty of nasty smut so this is a different beat for ya lmao

“Is it fun being tortured?”

“Not really, no.”

It wasn’t fair to be this critical but, as long as you didn’t let these words travel outside this room, it was fine, right? At least, you kept telling yourself that. Delusion at its finest.

“It’s so stupid that people enjoy sticking their nose in drama that doesn’t involve them only because their lives are too boring to have any,” you sighed, tossing your phone across your desk, letting it skid into a pile of post-its covered in scrawled notes. “All because I deleted some photos.”

Notifications were now blocked.

“Some people mistake privilege with right.”

You glared at your phone even though the contents were the offender and not the device. Rolled your eyes, knowing you would be coming back to a shitstorm, but you couldn’t take it anymore. There had to be a limit. And the voice beside you had been telling you to put the damn thing down and stop deleting comments one by one, but the stubborn ram in you thought you could just headbutt through the bullshit.

And that imagery was gonna end there, thank you very much.

Your forehead found the palm of your hand and you sighed again, suddenly feeling the weight.

“I’m never doing that again.”

“You don’t have to.”

Minutes passed.

Silence never felt so serene.

Then it was cut through by steady, slow acoustic guitar, the notes drifting out from behind you. It almost made you feel more guilty. Almost. How fucked was that? You, sitting here right now, staring at nearly bare walls and a table covered in notes and your trusty laptop, almost feeling guilty for the guy that had backed out of the joint loan for this condo in the city that you didn’t even fuckin’ want, but you had been too far into the process to not lose a whole lotta money and too angry to let yourself lose.

How ironic, feeling guilty for the guy who cheated on you.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not,” was the guitar player’s response. “And you shouldn’t be either. For anything.”

You knew you shouldn’t apologize. It just felt like the thing to do, because you hadn’t been wholly right either and, even if you weren’t more in the wrong, you were still wrong, and wasn’t that fucked, putting levels of blame on a situation that, at the end of the day, was all said and done and left everybody bitter and full of scars.

The shitty part was everyone was on your case now and blaming you.

This was what you got for dating the lead singer of a punk band that skyrocketed to popularity on social media. Looked all elegant dark romance on TikTok and Instagram, just screaming and hate-fucking behind closed doors. Constant content to cover up the toxicity. And maybe it was your fault too, letting it get to your head that maybe you really were the beautiful, mysterious muse that the followers painted you out to be. You glossed over red flags – late nights, drugs and drinking, sleeping in rooms of girls that called themselves fans – all part of the industry. Nothing happened. Honest. But the greatest mistake was letting him tag you on Instagram. How cool was it that you were an author?

This bastard.

Not only had you given him some of your best quotes for his lyrics, but now you couldn’t publish those words as your own because this bastard would fuckin’ sue you for plagiarizing.

The guitar continued behind you, on the mattress on the floor.

So, not only were you getting crucified on social media at the moment because he had called you a backhanded bitch in his Instagram stories but also because you had deleted all photos of him on your profile and said fucking nothing. Silence to be polite and all that. He cheated on you, he was leaving you for some whore you had plenty of suspicions about, and, worst of all, he waited until you and him were finalizing the down payment for this expensive-ass-fuck high-rise condo – that money was out of your own pocket, not his, how convenient – and backed out of the loan for the mortgage. His reasoning?

You cheated on him first.

Hello?

With his former guitarist.

Hello?

Your ex-boyfriend had fired his former guitarist ages ago because you and him had gotten too friendly.

Alright, man.

You liked the guy, sure. Talked to him when he was in the studio and found you had a lot in common. Plus, he was crazy talented. Made most of the melodies, self-produced a lot of the songs for the band so they could save money, even contributed to lyric writing so they didn’t have to spend on that either. He even had a good voice, although sadly the band rarely used it. Your art of words paired with his knowledge of music made some viral hits. But then tensions rose between him and your ex when they started butting heads for no reason (there was a reason and it was ugly jealousy). Then arguments rose between you and your ex, but instead of breaking up, you buried yourself into writing your next novel to let the situation cool off.

Sigh, okay, call a spade a spade.

You were avoiding the confrontation.

He fired his guitarist and got a new one.

Then things were good.

Until they weren’t.

Of course, they weren’t. You didn’t solve shit, and he was fucking every girl that threw themselves at him behind your back. Good thing you had strict rules about condoms, otherwise you would probably have some lasting consequences right now. So, when the ground cracked and split apart from under you, what did you do?

Yup, this was the part that made you no better.

You found that former guitarist and fucked him.

Word travelled around. Word also travelled around that somehow you got someone to be part of that insane loan you got talked into. And, oh, shit, did things get messy once a certain someone knew who it was.

But here you were.

Feeling guilty.

You probably couldn’t publish for at least six months to a year because, harrowingly, your demographic was young adult – you had even relied on social media for self-marketing, fuck – and the half of a novel you had now had to be scrapped considering that so many of the quotes were now distressed in dark venues by the lips of an egomaniacal dick that you allowed into your pussy far too many times. Once was already too many.

Fuck.

You didn’t even want to live in the city.

It’ll be so much easier for me to get bigger opportunities. Don’t be a selfish bitch and only think about yourself.

You wanted to scream.

You wanted to throw your laptop into the wall and break it into smithereens, but you didn’t because this piece of technology was currently your only chance of making money. Fuck. Me. Always talking about himself like he was only important member of the band, even though it was the other guys who wrote most of the music and lyrics. No one sided with you, obviously. This was their job and technically not their romance. They were sympathetic but not empathetic to the point of jeopardizing their jobs. Obviously, you hadn’t signed any contracts for royalties or credit. This was supposed to be your soulmate.

Soulmates weren’t so generous to give you pennies.

You’re being greedy and self-important. Oh, so you’re only in the relationship for the money? I’ll give you money once we make it big. Once we get it all, I’ll buy you everything you want. But you gotta help me out now. We’re starving artists, ya know?

You should have asked your parents for monetary help, but you didn’t. Your pride didn’t want to hear the told-you-so speeches for dating a guy they didn’t choose for you. You also didn’t want the arranged marriage appointments back in your life either.

So.

Trapped in white walls, post-its of false starts, and impending doom.

Dramatic, but you were a writer.

“Come here and sit down with me.”

Some part of you didn’t want to face him. It was really dumb. He was your new roommate now. You were fucking him when you were too sad to avoid it, and it was pretty obvious he knew. You were living off his money. Sure, he only paid for half the rent but then food mysteriously appeared in the fridge, bathroom necessities were stocked when they were running low, cleaning supplies neatly sorted into the closet, and all that other shit. None of that wholesale stuff either, but the nicer things normal households could afford.

It wasn’t an exaggeration that you cried into the soap during your shower last night.

All because you finally acknowledged it wasn’t one of those shitty bars that made skin feel like plastic but actually fragrant lathering liquid that you could put on the dense, not-falling-apart-in-one-use loofah that you hadn’t bought. You would have been satisfied with cutting coupons and living on the dregs of the bare minimum, but someone cared enough to not let you do that, and you currently couldn’t do anything to contribute and probably couldn’t for a while.

And that made you feel undeserving.

Maybe you were only fucking him because that was all you could offer.

Pathetic.

The guitarist called your name softly.

Like a beaten dog, you got up and sat down beside Min Yoongi.

He continued to play a melody you didn’t know on his black acoustic guitar. He hadn’t moved in all his instruments and equipment yet. You had told him he could have the whole living room for his studio. He had asked if you were sure and you responded that you were sure that you weren’t going to have anybody over ever so, unless he wanted a living room space, you didn’t want one.

“Shit always happens, you know,” the deep voice reminded you.

“This happening was of my own doing and now I’ve ruined my own life,” you muttered, bitter over a boy and hating that you were bitter over a boy.

A small chuckle. “You have to admit you had help.”

Stupid boy.

“Can’t be helped. Humans are animals of regret.”

It stung to regret.

The guitar playing stopped and now you were met with silence.

Don’t cry.

But it was so tiring to be angry. So easy to be sad. So easy to think, my fault, for being swept up in what he was but not who he was, for believing that you knew what was best when clearly it wasn’t, for being spiteful on purpose. For avoiding looking at Yoongi in the face because you were too ashamed to acknowledge what was going on here.

For being too afraid to ask what he thought of it.

“I regretted not stealing you from him sooner. Thought you were too fuckable for that loser from the first day we met.”

A strange feeling.

Skin prickling, glancing the that pale hand of graceful, callused fingers simply resting on the neck of that guitar, not looking at Yoongi’s face even though you knew it quite well in profile.

“That’s one way to make me feel better,” you replied.

“I’m not trying to make you feel better. Just being honest,” he replied, tapping his fingertips on the wood. “You are ten times too talented and a hundred times too pretty for a guy like that.”

You twitched. “Are you shitting on my standards?”

“Back then? Yeah, I am.” A calm hum, setting aside his guitar and placing his elbows on his sweatpants-covered knees, charcoal gray and worn. “Pretty clear you went full desperado for a guy that didn’t deserve it. Also, he ain’t hot shit like he thinks he is.”

Ow and what the fuck. “Fuck off.”

You felt movement and tracked his hand raising, spinning a finger around his temple. A brief glance and the details sank in. Long, windswept black waves, light cream skin, pointed gaze directed forward and not at you, pensive slight frown of pink lips. You looked away again, past his loose white t-shirt and to your hands.

You used to be proud of them.

They used to be able to type prose like no other.

Now they were twisted in an oversized, olive-green sweatshirt that you picked up from the sale bin of the convenience store for dirt cheap and they didn’t write jack shit.

You also hated olive-green.

Nothing personal. It just wasn’t your color.

“You’re a psycho bitch to put up with him,” Yoongi commented.

He wasn’t wrong. “I’m a psycho bitch all the time.”

“Yeah, and I don’t date crazy.”

You thought you would feel insulted, but you were past the point of caring. Also, there was something about the way his calm voice said it. Like he knew what he was doing. Huh. That was a silly thing to think. Of course, Yoongi knew what he was doing. He did it. He let you in his studio when you tracked it down and camped out until he showed up. He had listened to your psychobabble and didn’t back away when you pinned him to the wall.

This wasn’t dating.

“At least, I thought I didn’t,” Yoongi added, not touching you.

He fucked you too. He wasn’t a starfish in bed, that was for sure.

“I wanted to get back at him too, you know,” that deep, hazy voice murmured beside you. “That bastard turned my friends against me, stole my mixes, and cut out all my connections. Made me start from the ground up, alone.”

Yeah, you did know that. You helped badmouth Yoongi. In the name of love.

Shit.

“Sorry.”

“You’re not sorry.”

Ouch.

“And you shouldn’t be, ‘cause what’s done is done and being sorry isn’t going to change anything.”

You untwisted your hands from each other, realizing your knuckles were white from anxiousness, and relaxed them on your bare knees. Best you could, anyway.

“Yeah,” was the best response you had. This fucking boy ruined your life and stole your eloquence too, apparently. Motherfucker. “You’re right.”

Neither you or Yoongi said anything.

Minutes passed.

Another night in the condo and both of you were sitting on a mattress with a single blanket, deflated pillows, and a box of condoms on the floor.

You touched his forearm the same time his hand moved to grip your thigh.

And then it was the don’t-look-him-in-the-eyes challenge, and he was doing the exact same thing, eyes averted, black hair over them, lips grazing your jaw. Breath against your ear. Hot. His neck under your lips, flexed, fair skin with remnants of bruises, and your teeth sank in, making new ones, listening to his hiss and feeling his hands slide under your sweatshirt. Weighted palms and blunt nails. Digging in.

“Harder.”

He scratched you up as you climbed into his lap, tasting flesh.

Those firm hands gripped your hips and forced them down. Grinding. Softness to growing hardness, unhooking your bra, hands all over like you had lost your mind, your thighs squeezing his sides, yanking his shirt collar down and licking up his collarbone, dripping spit, shivering as you saw it glisten over his marred skin.

Clothes coming off, thrown aside. Guitar sliding to the hardwood floor as bodies tumbled. Your hands on his chest, your hard nipples pressed into the sheets as Yoongi slipped his hand into your hair and shoved your head down. Mouth open, tongue curling around. Moan striking the air, echoing in the nothingness.

Hard, hot, now wet.

Up, down, hitting the back of your throat, unable to choke in the adrenaline of lust, in need, in desire for pain, rubbing your tongue all over as Yoongi face-fucked you hard and fast, thick cock swelling in your mouth, your lips grazing the swollen head and making him shudder, saliva slipping down your chin that was smacking into his balls.

Was it shameful that you were good at it?

Sex solved nothing but you sure had a lot of it as if it did.

A sharp gasp and salty cum filled your throat, drinking, swallowing with effort and the burning sensation of your locked jaw, maintaining the soft tightness. Tongue tracing the contours, keeping him hard, hearing the rip of a foil packet above your head.

You hadn’t even realized that Yoongi had let go of your hair, letting you lick him all over at your own pace.

“What position?” Yoongi panted, husky and breathless in the mostly empty bedroom.

Mattress, chair, desk, laptop. Oh, and guitar.

Bodies on the floor.

You didn’t say anything.

You just turned around and slid down, elbows on the bed, knees spread, ass up.

“Alright then.”

You bit your lower lip.

You almost turned your head, almost looked back, just to check, right, just to check he was okay with it, and then strong hands gripped your hips, lifting them, sliding in, condom on and stretching you out right away, his knees pushing your knees apart and forcing you to arch your back for the angle.

No chance to look back.

You gasped, gripping the sheets, blinded by pleasure and the fading resonance of pain.

Hard.

Deep.

You pushing back, deep not deep enough, hitting your preferred depth and letting your eyelids flutter, veins burning with the repeated ecstasy. One of your hands lifted and reached back, squeezing his hand on your hip, and the grip became tighter, fingertips digging in, smacking his hips into your ass, and your body threatened to throw him back, carnal power meeting his every thrust, clenching around his hard length, and you could hear Yoongi growl your name, low and deep and voracious.

Somehow, his name fell from your lips too.

Rough and sinful, no better than an animal.

His nails dug into your back and dragged down, burning lines into your skin.

Your head tipped back and you moaned, a clear, shameless sound that would become familiar to this ceiling. Pooling wildfire, tightening muscles, wasted nectar sticky between joined thighs, surge after shivering surge of orgasmic apex stinging your veins as you barely registered Yoongi’s shudder and blissful groan, feeling the pulse inside you made than hearing the sound.

The rush of blood roaring in your ears was far too loud for you to hear anything.

Your face felt hot, so hot.

Gripping the sheets, twisting them, pulling them off the edge of the bed.

This moment.

Very few things were as intense and exigent as an orgasm. Fleeting, but a violently memorable. Pure nothingness of soaring high. You chased it. Again. And again. And again, your fingers tangled in Yoongi’s dark hair, pulling it over his face but he didn’t look at you anyway, eyes closed and teeth trapping his lower lip, breath trapped in his chest, driving his hips into yours again and again.

You both kept going until the limits were reached.

The darkness willingly swallowed you up.

Min Yoongi always considered himself a rational person, which was precisely why he found himself entangled in the break-up between his former best friend and the only woman he ever considered committing a felony for.

Yeah.

He also didn’t believe in love at first sight.

She was still way too hot for that idiot though.

His eyes could communicate well enough with his dick. The short skirt and exposed thighs didn’t really help either. Still, Yoongi had let it be. Respect was keeping his distance despite racing heartbeat and keeping calm despite shaking hands. He got used to it once the late-night talks about music and wordplay became a regular thing. Sometimes they talked about general life and were surprised on how well they aligned. Still, she never spoke poorly about her then-boyfriend even though there was plenty to talk about.

Scorched earth was their sacred ground.

It was painful to witness.

Yoongi regretted valuing the friendship, mostly because it didn’t mean jack shit at the end of the day. He regretted believing in the elegant, age-old saying.

Bros before hoes.

Tch.

But mostly, Yoongi regretted pretending like nothing was wrong.

He would see the pain in her expression and not say anything. Watch her pack it all away and greet him with warmth that he didn’t deserve because he had a racing heart and shaking hands every time they met. He would watch his former best friend disappear into hotel rooms without explanation and Yoongi knew damn well it wasn’t right, but he kept his mouth shut because he was a coward, something he figured out later.

He could have washed his hands clean of that shitshow, but instead his hands had held her shaking shoulders and watched her struggle not to cry on that cold night.

Yoongi considered himself a rational person, but never a good one.

Too many ways to judge, and her lips had already connected with his as soon as his shoulder blades hit the wall. He didn’t stop it. Maybe it was bitterness. Vengeance. Hate.

No, it wasn’t any of that, actually.

He didn’t know exactly what but, in that moment, Yoongi knew that he would murder that asshole if he saw his former best friend’s face right then, ready to commit a felony all because those beautiful eyes couldn’t look at him, closing instead to blink back the tears that bastard didn’t deserve.

That meant something, all right.

He knew it could take a long time. He knew it would almost certainly be hopeless. He knew he would probably end up with a broken heart and broke as hell. He knew it was a bad idea and he knew it was going to tear him up, this spiral, but when he found himself looking up to the ceilings of these mostly empty rooms, this condo he now half-owed with the woman that was formerly his best friend’s girlfriend, and Yoongi found he didn’t know and he didn’t care what the future held.

She had trouble sleeping.

Less trouble after exhausting themselves.

He had trouble sleeping too, but that was because he was staring at the ceiling and wondering just how rational he really was. One hand behind his head, under the pillow. The other resting on the blanket, on the curve of her hip, feeling the steady hum of her breathing.

She never cried in front of him.

He knew she did cry, because he heard her in the bathroom sometimes. But never in front of him. Showed anger, yes, but never acted helpless even though it was perfectly reasonable to feel that way after everything that happened. Living on the least for his sake, even to the point of skipping meals and spending all her time trying to write, trying to get back to her livelihood, trying to get past all the false starts. Personally, Yoongi felt that she should give up for now and heal herself, but he also knew how it felt to feel stubborn and useless.

Hah.

It was weird, being so close and yet so far away.

He felt it most in the nighttime, even though that was when he was closest to her.

He was never going to be the same. He knew that. He already wasn’t, surprising himself with his own recklessness, and for what? He didn’t even know what she was capable of reciprocating after receiving all those scars. Didn’t even know if he was the right one, if he was better or worse, if…

If he was believing in something that wasn’t there.

Yoongi closed his eyes and went to sleep.

Livid.

It was weird. Feeling it. In the past, you buried it, numb, and promptly lived in delusion. But now you could feel it. What was more, you let yourself feel it. There wasn’t anything to stop you except for the occasional mental peanut gallery of you’re a bad person if you feel jealousy, but anger could overtake anything if you let it.

You stared at the scene before you, several meters away.

Seething.

It felt good.

Mostly because it was honest.

It surprised you. You hadn’t expected to feel anything. Sad, maybe. You had already been cheated on, so naturally you assumed the cycle would begin anew, just with less promises and in the gray area of uncertainty. But, no, instead of being distraught and delusional, you felt maddeningly, viciously, nearly on-the-edge of making a fist and dislocating Min Yoongi’s jaw from his skull because he was speaking to a female-presenting human at the entrance of the building that housed his and others’ music studios.

Did you lack context? Yes.

Would that get you arrested? Yeah, probably.

Would that probably not get your laid anymore and label you as an unhinged psychopath? Without a doubt.

But would it feel good?

Don’t know.

You had never punched someone before, although maybe you should have practiced on your ex-boyfriend. He was probably a more deserving candidate. In any case, you remained frozen in perplexation at your willingness for violence because you were pretty sure your… relations… with Yoongi were nothing more than a lonely bitch and a spiteful silver tongue executing revenge, so the amount of fucks you should give about Yoongi speaking to any human being – other than the obvious health and safety precautions – should be zero.

None.

Basket of fucks empty.

And yet.

Clearly wasn’t since you were mentally calculating the angle and force for jaw dislocation while having zero experience in doing so. In any sort of non-virtual manner, that is.

Hm.

Your hands were firmly in the pockets of your black cargo pants. The hip ones, although you had plenty of choice. You kept them there for the safety of passerby or, maybe deep down, yourself. This caused your jacket to fall open, the outlines of the sew-on patches and thick, bunched-up black denim crowding the space between your forearm and waist, your black cropped tank exposed to the chill evening air. You used to wear a plethora of band t-shirts, but, well, those were probably in a landfill or rotting in a secondhand shop.

You figured you would be cold. Unsurprisingly, the anger kept you warm.

Huh.

You thought about turning around and just straight up leaving, petty and picturesque of course, and then Yoongi seemed to sense your projected violence, looking up from the conversation. Dark waves over his cheeks, striking body line, backing away, hiding his eyes for a moment, not that you could see them that well from this distance. You twitched.

The girl reached out.

Yoongi simply bowed, out of reach, and pushed the glass door open.

Honestly, her role in this moment was so miniscule that you completely ignored whatever she did or possibly could have said to Yoongi’s retreating back. Sharpened gaze, and then he crossed the street with the crowd, walking past oblivious bystanders who may or may not become the harrowed audience of the next thirty seconds.

He stopped before you. Bomber jacket, white shirt, black track pants. Monochrome elegance.

You looked up at him, saying nothing.

Over one shoulder was his usual guitar bag that held said instrument and his yellow notepad sticking out of the pocket. He used it to jot down whatever came to him. You almost said something. Almost. Then you remembered that if this, this between you and Min Yoongi, if this was supposed to be nothing, then weren’t you supposed to do nothing but voice your casual annoyance for making you wait rather than, well.

Admit insecurity?

You looked away quickly.

No, it did not matter how reasonable it was, you didn’t like knowing that somehow you had been weakened by an ex-boyfriend, barely a man, no, a mere locust at best, so it was better to not say anything and accept that this was–

“Sorry, I got caught up with the staff about ending my lease.”

Compromised.

You didn’t look at him. “What?”

“Gonna end my lease this month and move my studio stuff to the condo. I can’t afford both.”

He had told you this already. It had been your idea. You already knew you were overreacting to a situation that you created in your head rather than reality. And, yet, the best your mind would allow was uh huh, a plausible explanation, sarcasm included.

“Ah. Right,” was your sharp, mildly frigid reply.

“I can’t read your mind.”

Do you intend to be exhausting?

Your mental peanut gallery was super annoying.

You breathed in. Cool, crisp air. The sound of cars and people bustling in and out of stores. You breathed in again. Did you really intend to be exhausting, irrational, and, worst of all, dishonest? Really, after all that had happened? After getting here, standing here, arriving to pick up Yoongi at his request to do the grocery shopping together?

You turned back to look right into black-brown, piercing orbs.

“I just realized that I have the ability to be jealous,” you exhaled, draining your lungs. “It’s unpleasant and not nearly as delightfully pivotal as the media makes it out to be.”

Something fluttered in those orbs.

Or maybe it was the wind catching his bangs, drifting black strands over his eyes shadowed by dark circles.

Yoongi half-smiled.

“Makes for good songwriting material though.”

There was an air of helplessness to his words. A tone you couldn’t define, except for the understanding, which left you both baffled and with a sense of guilt. There were emotions in that barely-there smirk on those familiar lips. Relief. Maybe a slight bit of shame. A shadow of guilt too. You realized people were glancing at you and him as they walked past, wondering why you both were at a standstill on the sidewalk. Yoongi seemed to not notice them or care.

You pulled your hands out of your pockets.

“Come on. We should go before it gets dark.”

Before you noticed it, your hand was rising.

You pulled it back, but not fast enough.

Yoongi’s free hand reached out and grasped around yours, strong fingers enclosing. Sliding up, calluses on your palm. Your hand lowered, slowly, your eyes moving in the opposite direction. Lips parting. His hand was colder than yours.

You stared at Yoongi.

He looked back, expression unreadable.

“I don’t hold hands,” you said, suddenly breathless.

You tightened your grip.

“Neither do I,” Yoongi replied, taking a step, on the cusp of walking past you, his hand around yours. “I simply just don’t like the idea of yours getting cold when I can do something about it.”

Previously, when you held hands, it was always with a purpose of showing public affection. The look-how-real-this-is-because-there-are-clear-witnesses show. Front row tickets nobody asked for. But this.

This.

You blinked hard and the sting was inside.

The sting of wasted time.

Your name in that raspy, soft voice. Familiar. You looked up, not saying anything and hoping the eye contact was enough. All Yoongi did was smile lightly and tug your hand.

“Let’s get take-out and shop tomorrow. We have plenty of time to eat healthier.”

“You can cry in front of me.”

Min Yoongi heard her breath hitch and still.

Seconds that felt like hours ticked by. It was the dead of night. Or maybe one could call it the time when honesty came to life, if the conditions were right. He knew this time well usually with a drink in his hand, but this time he was laying on his side with bruises of bites and carnal memories lingering on his fingertips.

“I wasn’t crying.”

Her voice was thick and strained from trying to keep it even. Her moment of jealousy had happened days ago. He had recognized it right away. Call it personal experience. He also recognized that she didn’t like to feel that way. It was obvious from her torn yet furious expression. It confirmed a lot of things for him. Still, she seemed pleased to help him move and set up his things in the bedroom. They found the living room to be a bit too echoey due to the large space so they switched the two, pulling the mattress to the living room and setting up his equipment in the center of what was formerly the bedroom.

He told her to paint the condo.

She had mentioned in passing that someday she would like to paint her entire living space black. Not this place, because he owned it too, and you probably think I’m crazy for wanting a dark space, huh, Yoongi? He asked her, why wait? No one lives forever. We’re just passing through.

She had given him a weird look.

We own this condo. Paint it.

There were cans of black paint waiting.

Yoongi had intended to go visit his family over the weekend. His parents and his brother who had recently been promoted to head chef at the classy restaurant he worked at. Someone in the family needed to have prestige. Well, that was his own personal feeling. Surprisingly at this point his parents had even up on telling him to get a higher-paying job. They told him to simply be happy.

And get married.

Yeah, about that.

He was still trying to get used to the music producer thing, for fuck’s sake.

“Are you afraid I won’t understand?” Yoongi let himself say, not turning around yet.

Sometimes, people didn’t want you to see them weak. He could understand that.

Call it personal experience.

A shuddering sigh. Deep breaths. Words bogged down, drained.

“I can only be so pathetic before I lose my mind recalling the past,” she mumbled. He felt her weight deepen on her side of the bed, as if she was trying to melt into the mattress. “I made things hard for myself. For you. It’s pointless to cry about it anyway. In the end, it only makes me look ungrateful.”

Yoongi thought about it.

“It’s true that you probably shouldn’t have involved me.”

He shifted, laying on his back now.

“But I’m not a good person either. I agreed, after all,” he murmured, his skin tingling with bruises and carnal memories. “Hm, to be honest, he was always a dick though, from high school till now. Always will be, I fear.”

“You’re easygoing enough not to be affected by his asshole behavior.”

“Not my job to change people. I leave that to parents and clueless fools.”

A pensive silence. Surprisingly not an irritated one. She seemed to accept it.

“Why did you become his friend?” she asked, staring at the ceiling with him.

“We just happened to like the same thing. Music.”

“I’m lucky you decided to become his friend.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment. Then, “I’m lucky that somehow he managed to bamboozle a hot and clever girl, two things he’s obviously not.”

She almost laughed. Almost.

“Who the fuck uses the word bamboozle?”

“You had to admit you were bamboozled, because you sure as hell weren’t dick-drunk.”

“Oh? You think you’re that good, huh?”

“No, I just know he’s that much worse.”

The faintest of chuckles.

“You… You get better every time,” she admitted. “I think I just caught you off guard the first time.”

“Firstly, I don’t like wasting time and, secondly, I had given up for a while before…” I met you. “Romance seemed like an expensive, worthless distraction when I could be using that time and money trying to push the band forward,” he pivoted, running a hand through his hair to push it out of his eyes. “Then that went to shit.”

“Sorry.”

Automatic.

He chuckled darkly. “I’m confident I got the better deal.”

A trembling pause.

“Why do you think that?”

He reached over and placed his palm on the top of her head, lacing his fingers in her hair. Messing it up.

“Tell me the truth. Was he good at sex?”

A burst of laughter. “Really? Alright. No, he wasn’t. He sucked. Thought he was a piston of a muscle car instead of a human being. Oh, and once he fell asleep on top of me.”

He cocked an eyebrow. Turned his head and forced hers to turn as well.

She was smiling.

Yoongi found his chest tight and breath shallow.

“And you didn’t leave him then… why?” he pressed.

She winced, albeit playfully. “I yelled at him. A lot. I don’t know, maybe he was tired.”

“Not an excuse.”

“I know, I know…” Sigh. “I… I didn’t want to believe I made the wrong choice.” Her eyes shifted, but her body was still turned to face his. “I… It made my entire family angry, dating him. Especially my parents. They would never forgive me and hold it over my head forever. I had to make it work. I thought, if only I worked hard enough…” Another heavy breath, squeezing her eyes tightly. “I know it was pride, but I wanted to prove to them and myself that I could do anything. Bad choices? Maybe. But they were mine. I don’t want my life decided by what is best for me. If I suffer for it, those are my consequences.”

Her eyes opened, but barely.

Yoongi kept his hand on her head, running his fingers through her hair.

“I… I feel like shit because now you’re stuck in my mistakes,” she breathed.

He liked to touch her hair. It felt comforting.

“You know what your problem is?”

She glared under lashes and dared him.

Undeterred, he continued. “You blame yourself for shit that hasn’t even happened.”

A disapproving frown. “Hah?”

He tapped her forehead. “You think it’ll bother me if you cry, but what truly bothers me is that you cry alone.” Pushed back the strands, and now he was closer, sharing breath. “You think I’m stuck in your mistakes. Mistakes don’t inherently have only negative consequences. They almost always exist in a gray area.”

“I... I know that,” she grumbled, face against his chest.

“I did say you were clever.”

A drifting, drowsy silence.

“I’m not clever,” she whispered to his skin, pulling her body closer. “I just like you.”

Yoongi felt himself losing to sleep.

“I’ve always liked you, since the moment I saw you,” he muttered into her hair, breathing in the familiar scent, so quietly that he wasn’t sure if he said it at all.

“Ah? Yes? Sorry about that. Oh, yes, uh, I’m painting. Everything. Yes, I’ll be sure the keep the windows open. Thank you.”

You closed the front door of the condo. Well. You had expected nervousness, but somehow the conversation between you and the downstairs neighbor had been very calm. Apparently, he worked from home and wasn’t expecting the loud crash of the ladder from your unit.

In your defense, you hadn’t expected it either.

Thankfully, you hadn’t been on the ladder, only trying to figure out how to set it up. It was one of those compact ones that saved space but required some innovative thinking to get the taller height you needed. One crash and a YouTube video later, the ladder was now secure, and then came the knock on the front door.

The thoughts flew by – I don’t belong here, I can’t do this alone, they’re going to scold me and I haven’t even done the upper half yet – but the guy just seemed curious and confused. Didn’t even comment on your awkward outfit of navy boys’ basketball shorts and ill-fitted gray sports bra. Both on super sale. You were still wearing your bra because of the incorrect size, so the gray blob was bordering on ugly-ass tank top.

Look.

Some people had clothing they didn’t care about to paint in and some people had to dive in sale bins because they left behind most of their wardrobe and, with the clothes, their bad memories.

That was the intent.

Things rarely go as intended.

For instance, you thought you were going to feel imposter syndrome for a neighbor knowing that you were painting your own goddamn walls. You turned away from the door after you locked it, frowning. That’s right. Like it or not, bad decisions and minus an ex-boyfriend later, these were your walls. You looked up, out the large, floor-to-ceiling living room windows, and saw the sunlight sparkle over the sprawling city, walls painted half-black and half white surrounding you, and you could say that you never wanted to be here, but.

It was a sick view.

We own this condo. Paint it.

Your muscles were sore from the repeated swiping motion of the paint roller, but there was still this inexplicable energy coursing through you.

“What if it doesn’t look good?” you had asked Yoongi.

He had shrugged. “Then we paint it again.”

“It’ll be dark.”

“Wow, really? I thought black was supposed to be bright and cheerful,” was the sarcastic quip. “Just believe you have good taste and paint the damn walls.”

This condo was an investment that made you poor.

That was the truth you needed to face.

You have good taste.

You scrunched your face slightly as you remembered Yoongi’s facial expression. Was he… praising you or himself? You squinted. This guy. Picked up the paint roller again and saturated it with ink black, making crispy crinkly sounds as you shuffled over the plastic. Good taste. Well, that was relative, wasn’t it? Everything was at the end of the day. You climbed onto the ladder and began the repetitive, monotone motion once more but at a higher elevation. You should have put your music back on. Your phone was on the plastic-covered mattress and you were not about to go back down until you finished this section or ran out of paint. This was going to be a long process, but you had several days and too much time as Yoongi had already left to visit his family.

Now you were alone with a lot of paint and mind-numbing fumes.

Shit, you should have opened the window.

You would have to paint a second coat anyway. Who cared if the first coat was shitty?

Sigh.

Climbing down and doing your due diligence before returning to your post.

You had forgotten once again to put your music back on. Hah. Well, that was fine; you had yourself. You didn’t mind being alone. Heh, sometimes it was better to be alone. You continued rolling away, hardworking in the consistent rhythm. Thinking about it now, this might have been the first time in a long time that you were okay with being alone. Before, you had felt guilty whenever you weren’t thinking about your relationship. Huh. Odd. Was it some kind of mental self-reassurance when you knew something was off? It was hard to tell, but possible.

Everything was off about that relationship. You just had too much pride to admit it.

You sighed, climbing back down to reload.

Wait a second. Was this why there was that wider step towards the top of the ladder? You poured some more paint in the tray and carried it up with you. Oh shit. Wow. Innovation. You coughed and went back to a different patch of wall. No one saw that. See, perks of being alone.

Well, you didn’t hate Yoongi being here.

You stopped painting.

You didn’t just think that.

You went back to painting. Shut up, nagging feeling. You furiously painted on, ignoring your soreness, telling that little voice in your head to shut up, because there were plenty of reasons not to think stuff like that. Firstly, you weren’t ready to think stuff like that. And what if it was only hopeful transference rather than genuine feeling? Asshole or not, your ex-boyfriend’s betrayal of trust was not something so easily overcome. It wasn’t fair to Yoongi either, pretending to like him if you weren’t sure.

You liked Yoongi before you broke up, too.

Wasn’t that fucked up?

You sighed and came back down, careful to scoot the ladder without spilling and causing a mess. Back up and at it. Of course, it was fucked up. And you knew it was, which might have been why you let it get that bad. Might? Was why you let it get that bad. Two hypocrites were meant for each other. You huffed, puffing your cheeks. It wasn’t enough to hold the ticking grenade; you had needed confirmation it was a, in fact, a bomb.

Maybe even hoping it would end you.

It didn’t.

For some reason, you thought Yoongi could see that in you.

Damn, he’s really living in your system, hm?

You frowned.

Your phone rang.

You almost jumped, startled at the sudden sound of an old song you used to enjoy. Back when you were a teenager, and the memories came back as you climbed down. A kid who just really liked rock’n’roll, and parents who did not, but that kid didn’t care, annoyingly setting it as her ringtone on her shitty flip phone. Couldn’t you be her again? Before you had time to ponder, you checked your hands for paint and picked up your phone, answering it.

“Hello?”

“Did you eat?”

You blinked, sitting down on the crinkly plastic upon hearing that deep, raspy voice. “Uh, no. I was gonna stop by the convenience store when the first coat was done.”

“No, you weren’t. You were gonna skip a meal,” Min Yoongi tutted. “Because you don’t want to be a nuisance and use the money I had left you.”

Damn. He knew you, all right.

“If I forget, I forget,” you grumbled.

“Yeah, yeah. Anyway, pick up the food order from the front desk when it comes. They told me about thirty minutes.”

“You don’t have to order food for me. I’m not a kid,” you hissed.

“It’s the pho spot you like and if I don’t put food in front of you, you won’t eat. You intend to do all that hard work without some fuel?” A pause. You made a disapproving noise. “And I know you’re not a kid. By the way, what’s your waist measurement?”

You remained a grump. “Why?”

“I’m here, so I’m going to buy you some clothes.”

“Don’t buy me clothes. Don’t spend money–”

“You need things,” Yoongi cut you off. “Unless you want to come with me? You don’t trust me?”

“That’s not it and you know it,” you snapped back. “It’s not worth–”

“Of course, it isn’t. It’s vain and silly and superficial. And I’m still going to buy you things, so tell me your waist measurement.”

“Yoongi, this is your hard-earned money,” you puffed out, exasperated.

“Yeah, and I make money to provide you with a good life because I think you are the most important person to me. So, do you want me to guess with my hands or are you going to meet me halfway?”

Dead silence.

He called your name, softly.

You told him in centimeters.

“Got it. Don’t forget to check the front desk in thirty minutes.”

“I love you.”

His hair was stuck to his face due to sweat. “What?”

“I said I love you,” she said, staring right at him, their chests shuddering from exertion.

Yoongi couldn’t believe it, but also he wasn’t surprised. The room still smelled faintly like paint. The windows still had no curtains or blinds. They were still fucking on the mattress in the center of the living room and he was holding the used condom when she said I love you.

The walls and ceiling were all black, covering them in darkness as the city below glimmered with light.

“I love you,” was his reply.

It startled him, the suddenness of his response. He knew he did. Of course, he did, and he turned away quickly, making his way to the kitchen and throwing away the condom, skin tingling, cheeks aflame, and he was startled by the feeling that remained. He hadn’t expected those words to come out of her mouth even though he was sure of his own feelings. Yoongi had resigned himself to not hear it from her lips. He also didn’t need to hear it to know that it was true.

He saw her head to the bathroom.

Time was funny sometimes.

Suddenly they were both staring at each other on the mattress, the usual ritual completed, and the moment suspended.

“You didn’t have to say it,” he finally said. “For my sake.”

“I didn’t.” Her hair curled over her shoulder, caressing her curves. “I said it for my sake.”

Blankets and pillows and questions.

“I wondered about the validity of it,” she admitted to him. “Been wrong before and all that. Might still be wrong. So, I said it just to see if I regretted it.”

“Ah.”

They stared into each other’s eyes.

“Do you?” he asked.

She shook her head. “No.”

He half-smiled. How very simple yet complicated. He understood. “All the paint fumes really got to your head, huh?”

She looked up at him and he realized with a start that she, too, was half-smiling.

He reached out, smoothing her hair.

“You have a pretty face, Yoongi,” she teased, eyes sparkling.

He raised an eyebrow.

“I thought it would be too cliché, you and me,” she continued and the tone was different now, softer and more serious. “I thought you would get tired.”

She meant, of me.

He had thought this was cliché too. Cliché didn’t mean worthless though. His hand fell, and rested over hers without a second thought. Warm and against the sheets. “If I felt that way, I would have stopped speaking to you long ago. You could take care of yourself too.” Not safely, but could. “Except for money.”

She smirked.

“So you’re saying I need a suga daddy.”

Yoongi twitched.

“Part of me wanted to sell the condo as soon as possible,” she went on, casually glossing over the comment. “But the realtor said it would be a bad idea. I wouldn’t have any buyers without a minimum of six months or a year. Too many superstitions. Part of me thought I should…”

She looked up to the ceiling.

It was a high-rise, after all.

“All the reasons to move here were his. More convenient, better opportunities, owning rather than renting for the investment… I believed in it, more than myself.”

He didn’t say anything. Couldn’t because all those things had benefitted him already. He didn’t only agree to move in help her out. He was still a working music producer. But she didn’t seem to be saying it to condone him.

“I didn’t really think this place was mine until I painted the walls.”

Yoongi thought he should at least confess this part. “That’s why I told you to paint them.”

A small laugh. “You don’t like it, huh?”

“Don’t you remember the walls of the old studio were dark gray? That was my doing. I always resented the last place I rented because they didn’t let me paint the walls.”

“Ah… He painted over the gray.”

“I bet he did.”

They had fallen to the bed now, side by side.

“I didn’t think this would work out,” she breathed.

“I thought it might,” he hummed.

“Why?”

“You’re hot and clever and I wanted you from the first day I saw you.”

A warm chuckle. “Just like that?”

“Well, you had to give me a chance. Couldn’t make the first move due to the circumstances.”

“It was a convoluted and confusing one.”

“Eh, life’s unfair.”

“Your husband already paid.”

Your what?

“What?”

The cashier waved you away. You shuffled back, dazed, seeing Min Yoongi emerge from the bathroom in the corner of the restaurant, tucking a bit of his long black hair behind his ears and finding you in front of him.

“The cashier just called you my husband,” you declared.

He shrugged.

“Surprise.”

You blinked at him.

Patrons chatted and laughed as if this was a normal day. The music was horrendous covers of cheesy 2000’s pop. It was very strange, but the pho was good and well-priced, which was why Yoongi and you came here often after his meetings with music companies. Popular talent was in high demand.

He ticked his head to your outfit. “I know you like this dress I bought you, but you’ve left your coat at the table.”

“Oh, shit.”

“You’ve been scatterbrained ever since you started writing again.”

“Shut up.”

masterpost

#yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #bts smut #yoongi smut #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi x you

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accio-victuuri · 4 months

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Bojunyixiao’s Weibo night 2023/2024 🎉🎉

can you believe we’re here again. no matter how problematic sina weibo is as a platform, their awards night is a day cpfs look forward to because our boys will be attending. even if we know they won’t interact or anything, the fact that they get to attend the same event is enough for us.

i will just include the recap for the past years on here, the 2019/2020 being very short cause i feel like that has been widely speculated and talked about already. then 2021 and 2022. this post will discuss the event and stuff that happened + some commentary + cpn clownery. enjoy!!!!!

I. CPFs team building and showing strength

It would not be fair to exclude this feat that cpfs achieved with the free tickets for Weibo night. Even if we had no idea if both of them will attend, cpfs tried to grab tickets just in case it happens so we will be prepared. In the first round, we surprised all other fan groups with how we dominated and it set the rhythm for the next rounds. Trust cpfs to set the trend and make other fandoms “wake up”. lol. They can say what they want about cpfs but we all know that part of the hate is because they do not understand why we’re still here. They don’t get why we are this strong and a happy group.

My favorite thing that happened was when the top profile photos spelled out BJYXSZD + heart with a mole. It doesn’t stop there tho, the next week/round, we still dominated so Sina Weibo tried to save face by doing some tactics to suppress us. Nevertheless, every week, more of us got tickets because of the help of our little turtle fandom.

There were also efforts to get top comments on Weibo Night posts but I won’t get into that anymore cause we usually do that. But the thought of showing strength “online” as what the boys advertised is sweet.

Years later, we are still as strong as ever and shall remain that way. and that’s all thanks to each and every turtle out there who chooses positivity & makes sure our community remains a safe space.

II. The anticipation and announcements

It’s safe to say that this year, XZ is a sure attendee cause he always tops the voting at this event. However, some were still not sure cause he did not attend other public events last year like 10c starlight or NYE events cause he is busy with filming his projects. On 1/10 evening tho, a rather unsavory rumor made it on HS which was a signal that weibo night was getting desperate and wanted some noise for their event. lol. maybe there are other parties involved, but the intent is the same. I will also just mention the issue that happened on 1/9 with Chunzhen and them withdrawing lottery tickets supposedly won by certain fans. But the next day, Weibo lottery decided to honor the win and gave the tickets. I have no reaction to this tbh, and that’s why i didn’t talk about this separately and at length on my blog. It’s the brand / fandom that i have nothing to do with’s issue. As a turtle, we all know how CZ is with certain things so i’m not surprised that this happened. LOL.

I honestly feel for XZ, he is out there working hard and minding his own business but people and circumstances keep dragging him into irrelevant incidents.

As for WYB, everyone thought he wasn’t gonna attend. This is the same energy as last year. People are busier with grabbing tickets for his SDC6 finals and completely ignored weibo night ( as they should ). There was still some hope tho, cause if you think about it, he attended a lot of platform events. Tencent, IQIYI, GQ MOTY and 2 NYE shows. So why not Weibo Night? I have said it before, but one thing that I loved about WYB attending multiple events by the end of last year was it’s a show of his position and professionalism in the industry. He can go anywhere and be welcomed — he has good relations with almost everyone and that is important in their industry.

I know he is not fond of public events, but i’d like to think he says yes because of his professional relationship with these platforms/companies. I was never a fan of when people flex that their fave “will not go to xx because they did something to him etc.” LOL. That’s not how any industry works. You can’t burn bridges and I’m happy that WYB doesn’t do that. It’s also a testament of how much of a good boy he is 🤍

Anyway, back to the timeline. On 1/10, Weibo announced some winners and the boys are on there. I guess One & Only winning was a clue that WYB will go. Then a so/o account gave a tip that WYB will announce his attendance to an event on 1/11 @ 13:00. So by the evening of 1/10, it was mostly confirmed that WYB will be going.

The next day, 1/11, Weibo Night account started posting emoji clues for the remaining celebrities to be added in their guest lineup. A few hours later, both the boys announced their attendance. What’s different this time tho is aside from the usual copy-paste caption, there is a reminder for everyone to not do any fan activities at the venue. more details was also added in the comment. I guess they don’t want a repeat of what happened last year with the crowds. It caused a delay & cancellation of the red carpet. Both XZS and YBO reposted with more guidelines to follow like no gatherings and light signs etc.

i know weibo dictated the posting time but the 13 kadian is sending me! yizhan! 🫶🏼

The BJYX ST mods also sent out a message to not do any offline support.

There are more fandom drama after the announcement with other groups but i won’t add that here anymore cause it will only rot our brain. && it’s so much better to focus on the boys!

III. Pre show discussion

On the eve of Weibo Night, GG attended an awards show and it gave us some sweet candy. The most interesting to me is the choice of Alexander McQueen and the first two celebrities tagged by the brand on their weibo in 2024. This is giving me Dsquared vibes. Also how it almost mirrors the wedding-ish vibes they had last Weibo night. I know we as cpfs are somehow programmed to seeing connections but honestly, they don’t make it hard.

Late at night too, Weibo started showing opening screens of attendees and of course they didn’t put them in the same group/frame. This is understandable cause they wouldn’t put the top male celebrities together and knowing how both their fandoms hate each other. Also, how the grouping went, WYB’s was more of the “movie group”. That won’t stop me from being a bit better tho. lol. Cause if they can’t put them in the same frame like that, there is just no way they will be on the same stage or even sat remotely close to each other.

A photo from inside the venue also showed the projected commercial on stage is WYB & Chunzhen 😂😂😂😂😂

I can just imagine XZ smiling when he sees.

There were also talks of the both of them being on the second row. XZ was already seated way before the ceremony started, and their names are so close but cpfs were anticipating since WYB was not inside yet. We were all waiting to see if it will happen. WYB is supposedly next to YZ but then we see that Jackson sat there. We joked that he should stay there so WYB’s place will be taken and he will have no choice but to sit next to XZ 😂😂😂

IV. Red Carpet shenanigans

🟢 WYB’s red carpet walk

I honestly didn’t get the whole look tho when some people pointed out that it’s the glam version of what he wears when he plays golf — i kinda got it. For his past platform events like GQ, IQIYI & 10C, his red carpet were really casual. I guess that’s what he wants — to be comfortable walking the carpet. There were also some praising him for going against the norm. Well, I have to say tho that his face really stood out. Minimal to no make up look. He was so handsome! 🫶🏼

🔴 XZ’s red carpet walk

I love his outfit! It’s black but still got that something special to make him stand out. &&& I honestly love the hair! I thought I would cry because of how short it is now but it suits him. I mean, he looks gorgeous in anything but you know what I mean ☺️

CPN: XZ signed his name beside/very close to WYB. granted, there are so many signatures there but i’m wondering if he recognized his husband’s signature. lol. In this simple way, they can be next to each other!

V. Weibo night links

XIAO ZHAN

Photoshoot for red carpet look

Photoshoot for second outfit

Xiao Zhan winning Outstanding Actor of the Year

WANG YIBO

Photoshoot for red carpet look // Photoshoot BTS video

Yibo winning popular filmmaker of the year

Yibo-Official post for Weibo Night

* This is incomplete cause we still don’t have ( at the moment of posting ), the BTS for XZS photoshoot + their photos while receiving the awards.

VI. THE SUGAR RUSH 🍭🍬

• WYB’s personal post of him and the caption. The freakin caption. Look, i know that WYB’s brand is all about being the “cool guy” so maybe that’s why he said in the caption that he likes the HS about him. But the thing is, it’s totally out of character. How many events did he attend with him going so high up the HS with much more interesting tags but he chose this? Also, he really needed to do so that he used his own account??? For a couple of years now, yibo-official is the one that posts for him when he is at an event. So the speculation is this one is personal and amused him so much, seeing that their HS for the same event they are both at matched! Also, when WYB posted that, CPFs flooded the top comments! Understandably so. 💛

• The signed photos which i’m not sure about. I actually saw someone post that earlier and people were clowning about how it can’t be real.

But then, an account posted a giveaway with all the other attendees and it included the couple photo. I’m putting this down as clownery, cause on their end there will always be deniability. The autographed photo was also deleted by the account a bit later, which is actually expected cause it will bring trouble. lol.

• XZS and YBO matching again! Look at how they arranged the photos. How a few of the snaps are not in theme with the rest. Nothing new here!

• The same song and dance of them missing to see each other. As soon as XZ was gone, WYB came in to sit down. Good thing he had Jackson to talk too a bit and he was gone again after 10 mins! Hopefully they could spend time together backstage away from the cameras. 📷

People are pointing out that XZ was checking his phone lol. probably checking if WYB is giving him a signal to leave so they can do their usual operation. These two! Honestly!

• Not really CPN, but a similarity. In the red carpet, both of them didn’t do the “activities” that others were supposed to. If you watched the red carpet, there is a point where they have to choose something from a wall with numbers. there is also a choice to take a photo from one of the “themes” by they both bypassed it. I was rolling my eyes cause a WYB anti was trying to make a big deal out of it, but then XZ did the exact same thing. Some people just don’t understand how celebrities like them operate. Not to say that they are above everyone else, it’s just that they do things differently.

• ZSWW fake rumor account posted at 19:21. At this time the red carpet was already finished. It doesn’t say who is saying which line. I’m interpreting this incident to be something that happened today backstage 🤡🤡🤡

"A kiss, a kiss...

"Oh, okay, let's talk about it later when we get back.”

"There will be a surprise when I go back 😏”

"What?"

“You'll know when you go back”

Then they posted again, at 21:05 with a much longer one but it doesn’t seem be pertaining to today’s events.

• There is a photo/video of XZ talking to Huang Bo! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! and now we’re thinking about how they haven’t cooperated with each other but seem familiar. Yes, we don’t know all their relationship and friends off camera but my mind immediately went to the SDC 3 clowning. That’s most likely when they became close. lol.

• Heaven’s choice cause WYB was sat at #23 ( Love Zhan )

• This time, both of them left the venue after they received their awards. XZ didn’t stay like he did the previous years. Good for them! It’s better to spend time together 🤍 I know that most of us expected what happened today, them not being in the same place at the same time. Tho some may see that in a negative way, I actually see this as an example of trying to keep their private life separate from the public. Tho a big part of their lives are on camera and that’s how they met. I think what they are doing is really to reserve the time they have & are seen together in private. Maybe some can’t see it that way and will be frustrated but at the end of the day, we have to respect their choice.

• XZ’s 2nd outfit is by Balmain! He tends to wear this at events that they both attend 🥹🥹🥹

• It’s now XZ’s turn to see the cpf headband light signs! Lol. I hope he saw it. We all know that he is near sighted sooooo….

====

If there are post event CPNs, i will do a separate discussion. See you in the next Weibo Night! ✌🏼

#yizhan #bjyx #there is no science here i’m just clowning like i always do #WE ARE ALL EXHAUSTED SO PLEASE TAKE SOME REST NOW 🤍🤍🤍#lol no i will still be online for another hour or two

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lunas-side-anime-blog · 4 months

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AOT Icks (Eren, Armin and Mikasa)

one thing about me: i am a hater

Eren

def has mommy issues and no woman could ever compare to her like good luck to any of his girlfriends lmao

^^ that being said, as a roommate he’s a nightmare like you can tell his mom cleaned up after him all the time because it doesn’t even occur to him to do so now

toxic gym bro who says shit like “we all have the same 24 hours”

def has the the 3 in 1 bottle in his shower, I just know it

prob calls women “females”

the cringiest instagram captions like I know he will post sum: “I think my closet bi-polar, it keeps throwing fits💯” like dude, get a grip

attempts thirst traps, he has a ripped body so it kinda works but the content is so transparent you can’t help but roll your eyes

go out to a bar with him or something and he’s the type to try to make everything a fight

like if someone bumps into you, he's quickly in their face like "what's good bro😡” and you know its not actually about you so much as eren tryna beat someone up

i think he’ll use spit as lube thinking he’s so bad boy and lewd when it’s actually just so bad for your PH like ewwww (if u have a vag ofc)

i feel like his hair would get so greasy, mikasa and armin have had to force him down with shampoo in hand before

so gross but you came here for icks and I don’t believe Eren believes in holding back his farts for anyone

it can be the most intense and serious event like a funeral and he’ll rip a loud one and be like “what? it’s not good to hold it in??”

Armin

nail biter who will chew on them till the bone and you hear that loud ass “crONCh"

says he hates drama but that’s just something he says to not seem petty bc at the first sight of a fight best believe he’s sitting there, watching it all go down, wine glass in hand like "🍷🤨👂"

lil shit will even add lil comments to keep the beef alive, like i can see him loudly asking “okay but jean didn't you say her outfit made her look fat though?”

if you're in a debate with him, he’s the type to say something like “you're so uneducated about the subject, I’m actually pretty well versed in it” and your like "okay so what's all ur research then?" and he'll just quickly change the subject bc he didn’t actually have sources to cite lmao

is one of those bfs who would make fun of you for liking trashy tv but guess who eats that shit up everytime? armin.

he does that dad thing where he walks around in the living room and acts uninterested with what’s happening on the screen but he’s actually so invested and would be fuming if you dared watched an episode without him

i think he’d also be the type to try to be friends with his ex even if they obviously still have feelings for him, but if you dared even talk to yours he’d get all huffy and puffy like “go be with him then🙄”

got obsessed with skincare after watching your routine but u kinda created a monster bc now he’s critiquing your products and techniques? “Babe you should really consider a gel moisturizer, it’s better for your pores'' and you're like, “boy you used neutrogena when I met you???”

is that bf who will shower at your place and use up all your expensive washes and scrubs

not the best gift giver tbh, I think he’s a firm believer that all gifts should be practical so even if it’s a romantic anniversary date and he slides over a lil present, it’s probably just gonna be socks or something, srry

Mikasa

applies her chapstick like a man (iykyk)

“he know where home is” bitch, I hate to say it

i think she’s a girl’s girl until her man cheats on her, then she’d be the type to fight the girl and not really address her man…which is just… 😣

as a friend I think she’s sadly the type to unintentionally embarrass you bc she doesn’t get some social cues.

like you can miss a hang and ppl ask where you are and she’d just say matter of factly “oh they’re fine, they just have diarrhea rn!” and she won’t understand why you’d be mad?

outfit repeater to the max, she has like three tops that she likes and all pics of her are with her wearing one of those three tops

a lil delulu and prob genuinely believes all the tiktok pick a card vids on her feed

likes her coffee black and somehow thinks she’s better than everyone for that???

as a gf she checks your snap score and location regularly and has no shame in it 🙂

fights in her sleep like you will just be sleeping next to her all soundly and next thing you know you get punched in the face? she refuses to apologize in the morning bc she “has a right to defend myself in a nightmare” or whatever

when shes mad at someone she’ll post like ultra specific lyrics or captions and it’s so obviously targeted at one person everyone else is like "girl go to bed, don’t even post the quote…"

#aot headcannons #eren x reader #eren headcanons #armin headcanons #armin x reader #mikasa headcanons #mikasa x reader #modern aot #modern attack on titan #modern mikasa #modern eren #modern armin

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aclowntiny · 4 months

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Hiiii!!! First I wanna say how much I really like your work! Also, I stumbled upon our Seventeen and Enhypen as Hogwarts students, but saw you didn’t have it for Stray Kids 😭 I know they’ve mentioned in 2019 what house they think they are, but you seem to have a much better understanding of the houses and I’m very curious to see what you would think their houses would be.

I was wondering if I could request a similar sort of headcannon for them 🥹 Thank you!

Heck yeah! Can't believe I didn't do this sooner tbh but I love this so here we are 😌 I agree, not necessarily that I'm the best at the job, lol, but that people just go for very generic ideas of the houses (Gryffindor is cool, Slytherin is evil, Hufflepuff is nice/silly, Ravenclaw is smart) rather than the true reflection of where they'd be hehe! Like Ravenclaw is actually also known for being artistic and eccentric, Slytherin for strong determination, Hufflepuff for acceptance and breaking tradition, Gryffindor for being the other self-sacrificing house. So sometimes people just say "I'm a Gryffindor because I'm a good guy!!!" anyway rant over here's the actual content we want🤣

🏰 Stray Kids as Hogwarts Students🔮

Bang Chan

☆ Some kids got sorted instantly, but with one Christopher Bang the Hat took longer. Muttered to itself a lot as it waffled between his qualities, dubbing him hardworking and courageous and ambitious and loving. He couldn't help but flush under the hat's words, almost not hearing when its voice finally bellowed "Gryffindor!”

☆ Being Pure-Blood was only ever a phrase on a family tree for Chris. Who one’s ancestors were, what they looked like, or how much money they had said nothing for their value- only their choices and character did that.

☆ It’s only a formal class for one year, but he adores Flying. The feeling of freedom and getting to have some time outside is heaven for him. Defense Against the Dark Arts is another favorite for the similar reason of being able to get active and challenge himself, even literally facing his fears.

☆ Astronomy is very cool to him, but he finds having to fill in the same charts week after week a bit repetitive and not the best use of his time, frankly.

☆ Gryffindor’s Quidditch captain! He plays Keeper, working with great patience and synergy with the rest of the team to keep the goals clear.

☆ Blessed is the only word Chris can think of when he realizes how many happy memories he can pull from- not everyone can say that. As the word comes to mind, his wand lights up, producing a shining silver wolf standing majestically, protectively, before him.

Lee Know

☆ "You're an interesting one," came the Hat's comment upon touching Minho's head, "you've certainly got your priorities...whatever those are. A unique mind for sure. Better be Ravenclaw!" Some of Minho's friends had teased him as a Slytherin, so he was a bit surprised. Not that he would let his house define him entirely.

☆ He hates the reputation and unnecessary pressure that comes with being a Pure-Blood. It’s stupid and not worth debating in Minho’s mind. The only benefit is just the resources and opportunities he might get, and it’s tempting to turn those down on principle. Money and status don’t matter to him at all and there’s a part of him that wants to ‘sully the bloodline’ just for the hell of it! Luckily his parents don’t care either.

☆ Potions whiz. One of the few who actually get it and enjoy the calm, precise art and its beautiful results and wants to go N.E.W.T. with it. He’s also great at Care of Magical Creatures, naturally focused on the well-being of animals and other living things over his own excitement or whims.

☆ Having a fear of heights, Flying is not it for him. No thanks. He passes, but barely, and in his mind it’s not a skill he plans to use.

☆ Naturally, Minho opts out of Quidditch signups, but instead joins the Gobstones club because he thinks spraying the losers with stone juice is funny. Also gets invited to the Slug Club for his Potions skills and influence.

☆ No one is surprised when Minho closes his eyes, focuses, and boom! Produces a little glowing cat bursting from his wand with a few swipes of its paw to groom its nonexistent striped fur.

Changbin

☆ "Quite a softie underneath it all, eh?" Beneath the weight of the tattered Hat, Changbin strikes a bit of a pose. "Got a lot of ambition, but you've also got a lot of...that. Hmmm..." The Hat muses for a few more moments. "At the end of the day, this one’s a Slytherin!” Pride flows through Changbin’s veins- he doesn’t care for the reputation of producing dark wizards, the potential snobbery. All he cares about is showing his ambition to be the best if he puts his mind to it.

☆ He’s a Half-Blood, but both of his parents are wizards so his familiarity is much more with the Wizarding World. He wants to understand Muggles better to connect with them, too, as well as Muggleborns.

☆ Taking Muggle Studies helps with this and learning about another culture is quite fascinating to him- technology especially is amazing, like that’s what people do instead of magic? Wires of captured lightning? Sounds pretty magical to Changbin. He gets into tinkering with technology because of this. Another class he enjoys is Defense Against the Dark Arts. Changbin loves feeling ready to protect himself and others, so that’s the class he spends the most time practicing and taking notes in. He always thinks of his friends and his sister as he does so.

☆ History of Magic is boring, though, Changbin wants to cast some spells! At the end of the day, where certain spells come from don’t matter to him as long as he can use them. However, the idea of showing up in a ‘great wizards’ history highlight one day is appealing to him…

☆ His strength comes in handy serving as one of Slytherin’s two Beaters. The other teams are lowkey afraid of the Bludgers Changbin sends their way because they know how hard he hits!

☆ Bets are flying on what his Patronus animal would be, a pig or a rabbit. Pig is the most popular choice, mostly in jest, but shushing them all Changbin focuses all the great joy he’s expressing…and out leaps a rabbit! Not just any rabbit, though, but the massive, fluffy form of a Flemish giant rabbit that has everyone laughing and Changbin grinning, reaching out to it.

Hyunjin

☆ Nearly the second the Sorting Hat rests atop his head, it's shouting 'Ravenclaw!' Hyunjin himself can't be surprised, really, not when he's heard talk of the great artists in that house. In fact, pride glows in his chest as he joins his table that the Hat could see that in him.

☆ The Hwangs are an old wizarding family. Hyunjin has a lot of opportunities because of this, but fights against the idea that he could be any better than anyone else because of a name. Rather, he is often seen lifting up Muggleborn classmates and highlighting struggled of other magical people.

☆ Ancient Runes comes naturally to Hyunjin, something about his eye for detail, symbols, and decoding. Language is an area of interest for him so that class is like a beautiful puzzle. Astronomy grants Hyunjin so much art inspiration as well as time to relax and appreciate the gifts of nature and their inherent magic.

☆ There's no one class he hates, but like a lot of students Hyunjin has a harder time focusing on all the information getting dumped on him in History of Magic.

☆ Hyunjin’s extracurriculars include the Muggle Art club where he hones his painting skills and the Ravenclaw Quidditch team, where he plays as the team’s Seeker.

☆ Expectations fly as everyone wonders what the next Hwang’s Patronus will be. Will he get a stag, the majestic animal associated with famous wizards? An eagle, symbolizing his house? Not at all, in fact what Hyunjin summons is a beautiful, delicate silver dove that lights upon his shoulder.

Han

☆ “Don’t be so shy, kid, you’ve got heart.” “Really? Thanks bro.” “Yes, that’s what I’m talking about,” the Hat chuckles, “this one’s a Hufflepuff!” Jisung’s eyes go wide. He wasn’t expecting to get Hufflepuff, but if the hat says so, well, who is he to fight it? It’s nice getting the kindest house, too- maybe he’ll make a lot of friends.

☆ As a Half-Blood, the heavy weight of prejudice never really fell on Jisung. Half-Bloods tended to fall between the cracks as having already been sullied, just middle ground. As he witnesses bullying more and more, though, his passion grows to somehow help others and remind people that nobody can help who their ancestors married.

☆ Charms are quick, snappy, spur-of-the-moment but effective in a pinch, and Jisung likes that. It's fun and he can cast charms as quickly as he cracks a joke or comeback! Ancient Runes brings him a lot of inspiration from history and other languages that he loves to bring to his songwriting.

☆ Flying, thank goodness, isn't enforced every year! It scares him, frankly, and he'd much rather stay on the ground where he belongs.

☆ Because flying isn’t his favorite, no way in hell is he doing it with giant leather and metal things trying to smash him. Nope. However he’ll happily watch and commentate, hence him taking the mic and giving very entertaining descriptions of everything that happens. He’s also in the Frog Choir, always trying to get them to perform one of his compositions.

☆ Jokes around that he’s going to get a massive Patronus animal like a bear or a lion, but once he sees the embodiment of his joy skipping from his wand as a little quokka, he can’t even be embarrassed, just smile!

Felix

☆ "Well, you're just a delight, aren't you?" Felix couldn't tell if the Hat was being sarcastic, but still he chose to respond in kind. "I try!" At that, the Sorting Hat chuckled. "Yes, this one's a Hufflepuff for sure!" His sister had told him as much, but Felix couldn't complain- he liked the idea of being a Hufflepuff!

☆ Felix is a Muggleborn, so he takes in every step of starting school with wonder…though it is a bit overwhelming feeling like everyone’s speaking another language sometimes. But then again, magic candy! Brewing potions!

☆ Absolute wonder at Care of Magical Creatures and Herbology. Felix is so gentle and good with every living thing, they practically request he be the one to handle them and that makes his heart burst with joy and honor! He also loves Potions, thinking the idea is so classic and cool, plus despite what most students say it’s kind of relaxing to him.

☆ Transfiguration dropped lower on his list when they started using living subjects. Sure, the idea that anyone and anything can grow and change and exist in many forms is really inspiring, but those poor mice and birds!

☆ Slug Club inductee part two! Even though he’s a Muggleborn with no direct influence, Felix is such a good student and avid potioneer that he’s a shoo-in. He also plays Quidditch as Hufflepuff’s Seeker.

☆ Felix isn’t sure what animal he’ll get, but he certainly isn’t expecting multiple! The entire class is shocked when a whole brood of chicks tumbles forth from his wand, eliciting shock and charmed coos alike.

Seungmin

☆ "This one's a bit of a surprise now," the Hat commented upon being set atop Seungmin's head. Seungmin couldn't help wondering what that meant and if it was bad, how to prove the Hat wrong. "No, lad, all you just did was prove my point. Looks can be deceiving, after all. Slytherin!" He wasn't sure what he expected, but that might not have been it. Sort of made sense, though- he could have fun with that!

☆ He can’t help wondering if the Hat chose as it did because he’s a Pure-Blood, taking Salazar’s old favors into account. Then again, he did just throw a cheating Gryffindor under the bus in class…

☆ Thinking logically is no trouble for Seungmin, so Arithmancy isn’t a bad choice for him. Connecting relationships between numbers and their power just makes sense to him- eight is his lucky number, after all. He also frequents the Potions dungeon, but that’s mostly just to brew the photo solution that grants his personal art projects motion!

☆ Defense Against the Dark Arts is a fun and active class, but it's boisterous and people take the duels too far sometimes.

☆ Frankly, he didn’t have time to join the Quidditch team due to his other extracurriculars, being an avid Frog Choir singer and the Hogwarts paper’s photographer.

☆ Everyone is sure the student everyone sees as a puppy will get a dog for his Patronus. Imagine their surprise when he casts a tanuki! Cute and cunning, no one can deny it matches him perfectly in the end.

I.N

☆ He forgot the Hat could read his thoughts. “So you want a house where you can show your talents and look out for people, huh?” Flushing, Jeongin just nods with a faint, bashful smile. “Well, better be Gryffindor, then!” He’s surprised, thinking maybe he’d have gotten Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff- he isn’t particularly brave, is he? “Trust me, kid, you’ll find your way,” the Hat promises, and do its eyelike folds wink?

☆ As a Half-Blood, he has knowledge of the Wizarding World, but also life outside of magic. Having one Muggle parent means one person getting yanked into the world of wonder, after all! Jeongin is proud to understand both sides of his world and guide his friends on how Muggles really live.

☆ Details don’t escape Jeongin, so he loves drawing star charts for Astronomy. Transfiguration is another favorite of his for similar reasons: he enjoys the focus, the idea that he can reshape objects into something greater or something new. It feels symbolic, poetic.

☆ Potions stresses him out because it's so easy to burn things or measure wrong; even if little details usually fascinate him, he can be a bit clumsy with the required finesse.

☆ Joins the wizard chess club, art club, and plays Quidditch- what can’t our baby bread do? Jeongin becomes Gryffindor’s Seeker, one especially known for turning the tides of the game for his team completely!

☆ He can barely contain his excitement that day in Defense Against the Dark Arts when it comes time to cast Patronus charms! He wonders if his animal will look like him and he certainly gets his wish when a charming little desert fox pops forth.

#stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids reactions #stray kids x reader #stray kids scenarios #bang chan #lee know #changbin #hyunjin #han #felix #seungmin #i.n #hogwarts au #stray kids hogwarts au #ask #anon #requested

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yae-energy · 8 months

Text

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ╰┈─✩ ˚ ‧ closet tour ! ‧ ˚

✧˖° synopsis : commonly worn items (or accessories) these characters may have .

✧˖° cast & crew : megumi fushiguro , maki zenin , yuji itadori , and yuta okkotsu .

.ᐟ content warnings : cursing , yuta lwk fighting for his life

⤑ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ authors note : new layout !!!! we finally ditched the old one cause it was def time for her to GO 😭. all pictures down below are just for visual aid :)

megumi <3 : friendship bracelets

he’s got so many of them, mf got one in every damn pattern and color you can think of. and he only has this many because one summer nobara got into bracelet making.

she convinced gojo to buy her a bunch of kits and she’s been a little busy bee since ! so now every time she shows up with a new bracelet megumi feels like he has to wear it— or at least this is what he claims whenever he gets asked about it.

he actually thinks it’s sweet she’s always giving him bracelets, he’s got one for almost every outfit so it’s always coordinating !

he even wears the matching one she made for him and yuji so the three of them are always matching.

maki <3 : hair clips / claw clips

she absolutely hated them at first ngl

the only reason she started wearing them was because gojo would alwayssssssssssss buy them for her ,,

like for no good reason either, literally just cause she’s a teenage girl and sometimes girls wear hair clips. he also said she could spruce up her style a little bit because she’s “bland” and maki didn’t take that well 😭

one day though, she actually wore one of the claw clips he got her because she had no more hair ties and everybody thought she looked so cute and it made her feel nice, so she kept wearing them. over time they grew on her more and more, so she’s always got in a cute lil hair clip now.

but if she sees gojo she will immediately rip that shit out.

she wouldn’t be caught dead in something gojo gave her LMAO,, he’ll get a big head about it and don’t nobody wanna hear that.

she loves her little accessories though <3

yuji <3 : the weirdest shirts imaginable

i don’t even know where to start tbh

like i can’t even tell you where he keeps find them become i literally don’t have a single clue,, but he’s always got one on.

it started as just a fun little thing where he’d where a silly shirt once and a while. but because he keeps find them he’s ALWAYS wearing one and they’re the most hilarious things ever, cause how are you finding these???

like bro will have on the most normal fit ever, but if he unzips his jacket or takes off his hoodie you get hit with them most random t-shirt ever 😭 and every time him, nobara, and megumi go anywhere they take a picture of him in his weird ass shirts.

they even made a little photo album of it for novelty purposes.

yuta <3 : a plain white t-shirt

i’m sorry yall… but yuta is a victim of the plain white tee epidemic 😕 i hate to say it.

and he absolutely refuses to let it go too. like bro is the number one consumer of the plain white t-shirt,, LIKE LET IT GO PLEASEEEEE IM BEGGING.

panda and inumaki are SICK and TIRED, like he gets clowned for it on the daily but he literally does not give a single fuck. he’s gonna wear the white t-shirt and you cannot stop him. but because of this lifestyle choice, everyone has banned from making comments about anyone else’s style.

like if inumaki puts on some bullshit he can’t say anything 😭 and it eats him up inside cause he knows if they hear one PEEP from him, he’s getting cooked BADDDD.

and every single time he catches yuji in those weird ass shirts he gets heated 😭😭 cause how they let him get away with it but he cant wear his shirts???

all in all, he’s forever a white tee lover 😕 can’t shit be done about it.

⤑ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ysl production credits : thank you to @ivanari for helping me with my layout !! live laugh irene

⤑ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ tags : @morosis-haze @jogeto @mypimpademia @ivanari @planetlunaa @cosmiles @milesmolasses @chinieh @romiantic @stqrriichiigo

if you wish to be tagged in any future works, here’s my tag form to fill out <33

if you wish to submit a request, here’s my ask box :)

⤑ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ closing notes : take care of yourselves please ! or i WILL hunt you down. also, for those who filled out my tag list and i wasn’t tagging you in any work, it’s just cause i forgot to check it lmao 😭. mb ! imma do better. i love yall bunches, mwah x2 .

- xoxo , yves <33

#saint laurent productions #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #jjk hcs #jjk headcanons #jujutsu kaisen hcs #megumi fushiguro headcanons #yuji itadori headcanons #maki zenin headcanons #yuta okkotsu headcanons

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nikethestatue · 3 months

Note

this fandom might actually be the worst one I’ve seen!! I flip through a bunch of diff ship accounts bc listen, ship whoever you want, personally I am partial to elucien but I can admit there’s a lot of evidence for other ships as well. I like seeing all art for ALL the ships!! But then today I see a post about how we need Gwyn’s book because she is a victim of SA and it would be great to read a book about her healing journey.

Idk maybe it’s just me but I get annoyed when someone is always reduced down to their SA so I pointed out that Rhys & Lucien also had SA trauma and there has been no healing journey for them?? How are we going to fill an entire book for Gwyn?? Like, Sarah doesn’t seem to delve too much into healing journeys from SA (in ACOTAR at least 🤷🏻‍♀️ idk about other series) and tends to use it as a plot point to create a traumatic background character. It’s something that greatly annoys me tbh

And then I got yelled at?? And told to read the books again?? Like yes, I am a new reader, and yes it was a Gwyn Stan account (didn’t know that at the time, I literally just replied for the first time from a post I saw on my for you feed) - but nothing I said was anti-Gwyn (how could it be- she’s one of my favs too???) ?? I vaguely know there’s whatever ship war going on but I didn’t even comment on a ship post and I didn’t mention any other names/ships so I was genuinely confused about why I got yelled at on a post that only mentioned Gwyn.

All I said was I doubt Sarah is going to write an entire book about Gwyn’s healing journey ? It wasn’t even ship related so why did I get so much hate?? no wonder this fandom is filled with such toxicity, nobody new is allowed to join even casually unless they earn their masters degree of 16000 pages of analysis (apparently reading the books isnt enough?) and so it’s just filled with the same bitter people since whenever these books came out

Maybe bc I acknowledged I didn’t see her as a main character - because she’s not? She’s very much a side character but who cares? She’s still a favorite of mine? Two things can be possible at once, people!!!

Anyways, tldr I got a slap on the wrist and told I don’t know SJM if I think Gwyn is a side character and I’m just like ok I didn’t say she couldn’t be one later but based on the one book she is in… she is a side character?

I hate this mf fandom I should’ve stayed out of it. What did I even do?? I even apologized if anything I said about Rhys or Lucien was untrue?? And now I’m just annoyed because I should still be able to debate theories about my favorite books with people even if I don’t spend 24/7 reading PowerPoints on ship wars??

They got mad because you were right. That's it.

SJM doesn't write post-SA healing journeys. Again, you were right.

We've had male and female characters who were SAed, in TOG, Lysandra and Fenrys come to mind, in ACOTAR it's Rhys and Lucien and Gwyn, in CC it was Lidia (similar situation as Rhys/Lucien).

These aren't books for deep exploration of post-SA healing. I am sorry. This is an incredibly tough subject, without a singular answer. SO anything she'd do, wouldn't be taken well. Some will say 'too quick!' others will say 'not quick enough!' and everyone will have an opinion. The only reason Nesta got an extended healing (and not from SA) was because SJM used the same methods she used for her own issues. Working out, meditation, being with friends, balancing the physical and the mental, relying on her SO. Beyond that, all of SJMs 'healing' is training and being in love. Or nothing at all.

Gwynriels cant accept the fact that Gwyn is a secondary character. She is not more important than Emerie, or Mor, or anyone else, who's had terrible trauma. Her main was Nesta. Nesta's healed and Gwyn is secondary to Nesta. Gwyn's healing journey is over. She because stronger mentally and physically, she trained, she reached and conquered her 'mountain'. and that is all she needed to do.

They dont want to understand and accept that no one is interested in an 800 page of Gwyn's post-SA healing journey. Even they aren't. That's the truth. They want her with Azriel. Getting it on, having sex, being mated. They don't want to read any 'healing journey'. They want her going on missions, swinging her sword, being a badass, being with Azriel, having Gwynriel sex and having a normal fantasy heroine book. it's all performative. They just want Gwynriel. Is all.

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f0point5 · 4 months

Note

I am late to the party but I just wanted to add that I don’t think it’s okey to claim that Bianca got the sponsorship based on her looks and then to go ahead and claim that there will be other women a lot prettier than her. It wasn’t you that said that but in general I think she definitely messed up and deserves to be criticised for it and for her to pull the autistic brother card is a new low for her PR but people shouldn’t go for looks imo especially not compare women’s looks in motorsport (or in general) like we can compare their driving as we should I mean it’s a competitive sport but looks shouldn’t have to do anything with it. No one goes: ”oh there will be a new driver like Max in a few years who will be more handsome“ yk

I do agree with you though that Bianca isn’t the strongest driver and there were other women that deserved the sponsorship but if we consider that she was very present and hyped on social media then it makes sense that McLaren chose her simply from a PR/ business perspective yk.

Well, someone said in the ask said she got it because of her looks, which I found out of pocket and a comment that didn’t respect the nuance of the situation and I said that.

That said, I do think her social media following bought the McLaren sponsorship, and I own that. And yes part of that is down to her looks, but also to what was a VERY smart social media strategy, and even if it was her looks, no one should take that away from her. However she got the following, she knows/knew her audience.

I’m not sure how much we can really talk about her driving though, considering she was statistically incredibly mid, and yet the first/one of the first sponsored F1 Academy drivers to be signed/announced, by a team known for liking a young marketing juggernaut. I don’t know who could argue her driving is what makes her employable at this point.

People don’t say that about Max, because Max has proven himself as a driver.

But people do say that about Daniel Ricciardo, not about his looks specifically but his marketability, that there will come another funny/popular driver and he will get dropped.

I think the focus on “looks” is misogynistic but even with male drivers, if they’re not paying for their place with driving but with marketing, that will be talked about. “Looks” alone has nothing to do with it but marketing massively does and has in her case.

I mean, she has a bee in her bonnet about Lance being a pay driver but he did better in an F3 car than she has.

On the other hand, I don’t agree that anyone deserve the sponsorship more than her, because at the end of the day the people making that decision was McLaren. Maybe she didn’t “deserve” it if you’re only going by driving stats but that’s not all that’s taken into account.

Tbh I think she probably had a lot of people waiting in the wings to hate her because her social media presence is indisputably pretty cringe and imo she’s never come off great in it. So people are probably taking this opportunity to be a bit bitter now that it’s suddenly allowed

#f1 #formula 1 #bianca bustamante #f1 academy #lance stroll

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prettysymbiosis · 11 months

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I’ve been trying to get these thoughts out for days but basically I feel like the unifying theory of s16 (as I see it) is a conscious exploration of the dichotomy between sunny as a classically bold and brash pee pee poo poo comedy and sunny as a thoughtful, nuanced and subtle show about flawed people and also about itself, at times (by that I mean the meta isn’t always about macdennis or the other characters but about sunny itself - win an award, clip show, big mo, etc). the trailer actually captures this dichotomy well through the dialogue clips and animations, as well as the pinned comment which said “get ready for a whole lot of subtlety.” it’s still so baffling to me that sunny can simultaneously read as one of the most loud, obnoxious, unsubtle shows ever on television, OR it can be so subtle and allegorical in the writing of later seasons that most viewers would think people like us are crazy for reading so much into it even though we’re really not. this kind of self-reflective flavor is another product of the rewatch/podcast project which has been almost universally agreed to have had a very positive effect on the writing.

anyway having said that, I want to just share my notes on the first two episodes without trying to edit them too much. I’m bolding the points that I personally haven’t seen anyone else mention yet and putting a 😎 next to ones that evoke a Classic Sunny VibeTM because that’s important to the experiment of this season.

the gang inflates

macden fun/domestic/DUMB again 😎

something something never committing to the couch when it was absurd not to and it ended up costing them so much macdennis blah blah

dennis hanging up on dee was so funny to me oops 😎

and the WHOLE dee (as a character and specifically the female character) thing about being minimized to an absurd degree. I like to think the bog was a turning point for dee and the show is gonna do better by her now hopefully by recognizing her plight in a more serious way, like the way the guys have been doing?

are mac and dennis…… you know…… like for real??? as many have said, it could totally be revealed kind of retroactively to undercut the shock and be like “honestly we’re surprised you didn’t notice sooner” I feel like that is something rcg would do. suggestive clues:

“I don’t wanna talk to you about–” “a TON”

or is dennis like well that’s news to me jealous vibes??

“I figured you were man” ??

“I’m getting a little concerned about our nut”

“you truly have no reason to be sleeping with frank”

they specifically put a lil reaction shot of dennis after mac says “that’s a lotta blowin” a la the lil grin in gets romantic and, well, I just think that’s a choice that was made

“it’s not homophobic” is that so?????

when mac is like “you think we got rid of our furniture too soon/that the business plan won’t work” it’s kinda like no it’s not the committing to what they have, it’s that mac still has big denial problems and dennis can’t work with that… maybe? but so does dennis tbh

in a show-meta sense it’s like, we should be less worried about whether the gay gay-ass love story will alienate people and more worried about how these characters are too ridiculous to even let the love story play out effectively. they need mental health days if we are ever to have nice things

it’s possible mac denying his reaction to the allergy has to do with his body dysmorphia?

also it occurred to me that maybe part of why rob is clean-shaven this season is so they could do those prosthetics more easily?

those handprints though…. I hate everything

oh also just the bed scene. its existence

the zoomed in neck touch of course

“I’m not going to do it!” “..okay” dennis keepin his cool :)

mac’s shirt! COOLER HEADS PREVAIL

just the sheer silliness of inflatable furniture - is there some metaphor here lol?

in a general sense could inflates be taken to mean flanderizes? also maybe it’s just implied but I noticed I hadn’t actually seen anyone mention inflation as a sexual kink and like, that was part of the intention right? if so, 😎

charlie “uhhhhhhhh… yep.” poor charlie :( he doesn’t want to live in a maze (like a rat)

“well then you’re just like being a predator” :( so here for charlie calling out bullshit with frank and mrs. mac and even his own mom so far in these first two eps

charlie just giving up and yelling in frustration which is kinda what bonnie does in ep2 (and ep3 based on trailer)

the gross horny male objectifying thing 😎

rob put his whole pussy into this episode

charlie saying “I don’t get why he doesn’t take me seriously” and dee saying “that’s gotta be maddening” 🙃

cats in the alley my loves 😎

gluing dee a pillow on the wall <3

“consider it an offering” “of war??” this says so much. must everything be a conflict?

charlie’s hair looks so crazy and good in the sleepover scene and also he’s so smart

charlie asks frank to “return everything to the status quo” by the end of the episode, sitcom style. full reset, no progression. except charlie is asking that frank not endlessly take advantage of the fact that mac and den can’t figure their shit out, not totally push dee out just because it’s easy, not make light of the trauma charlie has from what happened to him. all that stuff IS the status quo! so what is he really asking for? this is one of the bits of writing that I think is also about the show as a show, and how they’ve approached these dynamics forever.

it’s funny that people are saying this season is such a return to form because it is, but it’s also so much more self-aware of what that form is/was and how deeper elements can coexist within it. they’re really walking with a foot in both worlds here and they’re doing it well. love this for them and for us, the people who know what it’s always sunny in philadelphia is REALLY about

“we’ll take you to the hospital, and they’ll have nuts. and you can– you can die there.” hahahah

#sunny #iasip #it's always sunny in philadelphia #S16 #sunny meta #s16 meta #s16 e1 #the gang inflates #macdennis #charlie #dee #I hate this show bc every time I'm like whoa this writing is so complex and then I immediately feel ridiculous for thinking that #even though I KNOW I'm right and you guys get it too..... I still feel like a tinhat :( I blame misogyny #well I'm exhausted goodnight

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vintage-bentley · 2 months

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It's just real funny how the die-hard fans drink up Neil's every little droplet of virtue-signalling and fanservicey comment about how Crowley and Aziraphale were always totally gay and if you question it you're the problem, even though it wasn't in the text, also worship me I'm God, but JK Rowling should have just shut up after writing her books and everything she said afterwards, like making Dumbledore gay, is cowardice and not-canon. Like whatever one's opinion is on the topic of the death of the author and whatnot, the double standard is just irritating

YES!!!

I’m not a HP fan (haven’t watched or read it yet), but from what I’ve seen, JK wasn’t nearly as insufferable about Dumbledore as Neil is with his pandering? I saw an interview recently where she was explaining that as she got to know Dumbledore while writing him, she just knew he was gay. It sounds more like she had this idea of the character, and was honest about it when asked. And I understand why she wouldn’t make it super explicit in the books, considering (from what I know of the series) he’s a teacher being viewed from Harry’s perspective, so his sexuality is irrelevant. Whereas GO doesn’t really have that “excuse” for A/C, especially when it falls back on homophobic jokes.

Wasn’t there also an interview where she said that there was a fan at a signing that was genuinely enraged about Dumbledore being gay? And people managed to be mad at JK for it somehow? To me that shows that she was willing to be honest about her interpretation of her character even when knowing it could result in backlash. Unlike a certain male author who’s only recently started to accept the idea that his characters love each other, now that homophobia isn’t as common as it was before.

It’s wild though that JK can be so casual and respectful about Dumbledore, and people tear her to shreds for “pandering” and “cowardice”…but Neil’s basically just signing off on whatever comes into his tumblr askbox regarding A/C to gain clout among teenagers, and he’s treated like the god of “queer representation”. If he were a woman, I don’t think he’d be getting this much praise.

Tbh if Neil acted more like JK about this, I’d hate him much less 😂 From what I’ve seen, she was just being honest about how she saw a character. Neil on the other hand, seems to just go with whatever’s going to get him more social media attention and asskissing.

#it’s kinda fascinating to me tbh #because we see the same sort of thing with male vs female writers doing something wrong #a man could do a whole bunch of shady shit and everyone still worships him #a woman does one thing wrong and it’s all anyone talks about and even prefaces their love for her work with ‘but I don’t endorse her!’#asks #anon

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bookishtheaterlover7 · 2 months

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Booky, you’re such a sweet person. I know it’s probably hard for you to be a fan and see stuff that annoys you, but remember that it’s probably happening to other fans with celebs they like.

Those poor Henry Cavill fans - though I don’t even think his gf is that bad. Lol.

And as for the Jeff Conway person…

lol. First of all he’s very very cringe. I’ve rarely seen an interviewer editor be this thirsty to repost his own articles and also be so unbelievably tacky as a grown man. But hey.

That being said, he was the one who wrote the Forbes article for Chris and his jinx thing at the end of December, right?

He was also one of the writers who wrote a people article of them going public. Somebody should check back those archives because I’m almost positive Jeff started following fish the night before or around the time they went public.

He also interviewed Chris the day Chris said his long term partner was his dog 🤣 - I wonder if he told Chris that 😭 and gave him a very cringey shirt “my dog is my soulmate.” A grown ass man.. giving another grown ass man a shirt like that. And then repeatedly bragging about it on twitter. How is he not embarrassed by himself?? (Jeff)

My personal thought is he goes where he has an assignment. I sometimes have to write really cringe social posts for work but thankfully they’re not attached to my name. He was probably instructed to hype her up because tbh, I still believe they’re trying to make her happen.

Think about how the kardashians, TikTok influencers, and other random ass “Celebs” pop up and start being placed everywhere and nobody is asking for them and the comments are filled with hate. But do these outlets ever stop? Really think about it. Step back from the fishbowl and observe the other industry ppl who have basically been shoved into our faces without our desire. I think the media knows Fish is DOA but she’s here and unfortunately here to stay for awhile. I think people can and will continue to ignore her so that’ll be pretty funny to watch.

I’m also sure fish wasn’t rude to Jeff because I doubt she’s like openly a rude person. I’m not trying to defend her because I know people on here will feel how they feel about this girl, but she’s not going to be a brat to everyone just because people want to hate her. I do think it’s interesting that post had Jeff hyping her up and then just mentioning Chris was also there. As if he’s her plus one and not the other way around.

I feel like she’s getting way too much attention for being virtually nothing and a nobody. The general public simply does not care about her.

I think someone just posted up TMZ posting celebs at the parties and they posted Chris alone and cropped her out. If true, LOLLLLLL TMZ 😂

Just Jared has written at least 600 articles at this point and they’re still getting her name wrong.

By the way, in my line of work, we have to proofread our articles before submitting them to post. So does every single outlet just accidentally miss fish’s last name?????

I’m starting to feel like it’s intentional.

🥹 Thank you, Marketing An🫶n!

It must suck for everyone, but it's good to know that what I'm feeling is definitely not just me. Makes me feel less crazy. 🙂

Good Lord, Jeff seems to be overselling and overdoing it, a little. But, as you said, it's a thing that needs to be done.

And you've got a point about celebs we DIDN'T ask for, just popping up. And it causes quite a stir. Which is effective for their reasons.

No, they do not. Hell, she's simply known as Chris Evans' wife. No more, no less. Imagine that as your only title. It's sad.

I hope it's intentional, because that's too many typos, and almost (I'm assuming they did this at least once) zero edits... 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Thanks for talking with me, Marketing An🫶n. It's really a highlight everytime you're here. So thank you ❤️ and it seriously means a whole lot. 🥰🥹

Until the next one...

#An🫶n asks #Hello Marketing An🫶n #Marketing An🫶n replies #booky reacts #booky answers #chris evans #chris evans fandom #Always a good time to read your Asks.#Also girl! so much shade 🤣😎#and I'm learning #so thank you again 🥹

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daboyau · 5 days

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20 Questions For Fic Writers

Thanks so much for the tag @dandywonderous! I was very happy when I saw it. :)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

28 currently! I have more on ff.net but never transferred them over since I wrote them when I was younger and don’t like them enough to do so.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

506,651

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently I’m mostly writing for ROTTMNT, and have a long time fic for BNHA I’m stuck on the last chapter for. In the past I’ve written for Natsume Yuujinchou, Tokyo Ghoul, Naruto, Animorphs, Teen Wolf, Killing Stalking, and…I think that’s it on ao3?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. The Good In Me, 2. Dangerous Games, 3. Friendship Benefits, 4. Classroom Etiquette, 5. Approximation (the natsume fandom is really dominating there lol)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I know when I comment on something it feels nice to get a response, so I try to respond when I have the bandwidth for it. I’d say I do maybe 80% of the time?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I have to be honest, I have a chronic case of not finishing my fics. So I’m going to just say that the one with the angstiest planned ending is probably going to be And the Loyal Remains. Angst in general would be Sticks and Stones, mostly because that was the fic I was writing when I was having a lot of emotions while living on my own for the first time and I was beating up my characters over it.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably any of my Natsume fics! They’re shorter so they’re actually finished, and Natsume is one of the few characters I want to wrap in a blanket with very little angst involved, so even if the story is a little sad I try to give them sweeter endings.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not recently! When I was younger and posting on ff.net I used to get some hate, but I haven’t really seen anything like that coming from ao3.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not really. I’m not against smut of any kind, but I’m not big on writing romance or relationships, and tbh I’d feel too shy to post any smut even if I did write some lol.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I love crossovers, but I write very few of them. My very first fanfiction I ever wrote and posted when I was…13 I think, was a Cirque Du Freak/Harry Potter crossover over on ff.net. That one might be the craziest one, simply because I was straight up plagiarizing whole paragraphs straight from the HP books and the fic actually got kind of popular?? It was definitely an odd first try at dipping my toes into fanfic writing, and probably skewed my expectations for my future fics lol.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

The only one I’m aware of having been stolen was my BNHA fic, which someone had taken and had a robot reading on their monetized youtube channel. I didn’t like that at all.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Dangerous Games was translated by GlaireG, and I’ve had some people ask if they can translate other works without that ever going anywhere. That said, if anyone ever wants to translate any of my works they’re more than welcome to! All I ask is that credit be given and linked back to the original.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not! Co-writing sounds simultaneously very fun and very stressful, since I’m a slow writer and would probably fret over holding the other person up. It’s something I might be interested in, under the right circumstances. editing to add that I am silly and didn’t think about the fact that the crossover between @boots-with-the-fur-club’s Inverted Confrontation AU and my Leave AU was co-writing lol. Love yoouuu thank you for pointing out my silly. 💚

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Hhmmmmm, I’m going to say Nezushi from No. 6! I don’t have many ships, but they have lived rent free in my head for over a decade at this point lol.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

All of them. I dream of finishing my abandoned WIPs, but I don’t really see that happening tbh.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I’ve been told I’m good at world-building and characterization, which is great since those are my favorite parts of writing. :)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I wish I was better at crafting a solid plot and following it through to the end. I have an awful habit of having ideas as I go and chasing after them instead of just sticking with one idea. Imagery is something I’m not very good at. Also, being able to write humor is something I dream of, but I’m not a very funny person so that is dead in the water.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I personally prefer to just indicate that something is being said in another language, but to each their own. I don’t love having to google what something means or when someone types something out in one language and then puts in parentheses the translation right afterwards. That said, there are some cases where it’s done very well and adds to the story, so I guess it just depends.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Darren Shan/Harry Potter. I started writing it in a notebook bc I couldn’t get the idea out of my head. Then learned about fanfiction and it was all over from there.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

This is a really hard one…. Maybe Classroom Etiquette? It was really enjoyable to write. The Good In Me also holds a special place in my heart since I’ve been working on it for so long. (though Turning a New Shade of Red aka the Rise Hunger Games AU is quickly rising through the ranks to be one of my favs)

Well, I definitely need to tag in my writing bestie @boots-with-the-fur-club. You have no choice but to play the game. also tagging @psychologicalwarclaire, @phoebepheebsphibs and @onlyhereforturtles, but feel free to ignore if you want!! Anyone else who wants to do it, pretend I tagged you, and tag me so I can see it. 💚

#Tag game #my writing #This was fun #thank you again for tagging me dandy!!!

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scilessweetheart · 1 year

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ranking actors by how good of a job they did in teen wolf: the movie

1. vince ATE. this was HIS MOVIE. it didn’t matter that he was new. it didn’t matter that i only kind of liked his character. he showed up like rent was due, playing injured and desperate and needing to please just like the original teen wolf.

2. holland never misses. from her hurt watching allison fight, to her soft looks with scott, to her using her banshee powers. she stepped back into being lydia martin like no time had passed.

3. tyler hoechlin. my life, my love. he didn’t get a lot of emotional range with his scenes which is why he isn’t higher, but i have no doubt he had the potential to do it. he was the same as i remember him, but also had those small changes just from him having a kid and growing up.

4. colton did a great job, but also he was basically playing himself. no real acting was done, but it was believable and entertaining, so i’m still counting it.

5. tyler posey can play scott so well. but he was too excited to be in the movie that he couldn’t really play anything but wistful and earnest.

6. it feels odd to put linden here because he had such a small role, but i love this man and his character so we’re doing it anyway. he did such a great job as the sheriff and still playing dad to all of the kids even though they’re now grown. however, his sassy side left with stiles and i will never forgive him (but mostly the writers tbh) for that.

7. ian bohen had such a strong entrance and then… nothing. i don’t know what was up but he just stopped acting half way through the movie. also props for sniffing and crawling on all fours with a straight face.

8. ryan played parrish so two dimensional the whole movie. malia comments on a look he gives and he’s just there like “what look 🧍🏼‍♂️”

9. i love shelley hennig. i really do. but they’re trying to give malia depth and she refuses to lean into it. she’s going to date parrish after this, and she doesn’t even seem to really like him.

10. jr bourne. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU MAN. if there was one thing i could count on it was that man and he turned into some like poetic hipster with residual soldier in him.

11. crystal reed did a great job acting. that’s not arguable. the realization when her memories come back, the soft looks scott, the inner turmoil. that being said… she didn’t do a good job of being allison. her expressions weren’t as full and dynamic as they were in the show and it didn’t give her the same energy. she might as well have been a different character for me.

other comments:

- amy workman (the girl who played hikari) had very little range, but they downplayed her brand new character and this is her first movie role, so no hate to her, she got thrown in the deep end.

- melissa wasn’t in it for me to comment on anything. not her fault though, im so sorry they did you so dirty ma’am. same with dylan and khylin. i know they would’ve stolen the show.

#heads up i’m a bitch in this #i mean you can probably tell by the title #but im right and all of you know it #thank you lauren for coming on this journey with me #teen wolf #teen wolf movie

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ssa-atlas-alvez · 2 years

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Whumptober Day 22 (BAU x transmale reader)

No. 22 PICK YOUR POISON

Toxic | Withdrawal | Allergic Reaction

ALT: Ambushed

(there will be a part two fo this!)

Warnings: transphobia (from a load of people, it's the main theme), deadnaming (D/N), the t-slur/trans slur/(tr**ny) used once, outing, misgendering, probably hate crime tbh, please let me know if I've missed anything

PLEASE DON’T READ IF YOU FIND THESE THEMES/WARNING UPSETTING

Word count: 2696

No one missed the looks you received when you walked into the precinct. It was your hometown, a typical small town with its typical small-town views and beliefs. You, however, had become accustomed to these looks. Particularly those who worked at the station. When you came out and started your transition (despite the strong words and opinions of your parents), it was as though the town had frozen you out. No one would speak to you unless they had to, no one would approach you, sure, you even got beaten up a few times. You were dreading this case to say the least.

“Why do they keep glaring at you?” Spencer mumbled as he walked close to you.

“I was a smart mouthed kid,” You whispered back, finding the best excuse you could, “And this is a stereotypical small town - they have nothing else better to do than gossip,”

What made everything ten times worse was that the team didn’t even know. You didn’t write it on your application, fearing that if you did, you wouldn’t get the job - or the team would treat you differently. You had planned to tell them you were transgender, of course, but the right time had never surfaced and you were in too deep now. You’d just have to be stealth until you retired from the FBI. And if that’s the way it went, then hey, that would be okay.

You knew Spencer didn’t believe you, but he didn’t comment on it either, which you’d take as a win. You had a feeling you were going to need all the wins you could get with this case.

“Officer Hart is currently working this case, so you’ll be working closely with him, if that’s alright?”

You look at the officer, the name feeling familiar and your heart jumps. Standing in front of you with a wide smirk is your high school bully, Seth Hart. You mentally groan. Just your luck. And judging by his widening smirk, he recognises you.

“That’s perfect,” Hotch said politely before turning to you, “(Y/N), do you know Officer Hart?”

You nod, about to answer, when Seth cuts in, “Oh, yes, (Y/N) and I go way back,” He emphasises your name and it makes you feel sick. You should probably just pretend to be sick and spend the rest of the case at the hotel.

When the team had found out that you grew up here, they had immediately asked to meet your family, curious as to who raised the Fabulous (Y/N) (Garcia’s words). The whole team had joined for the case, Garcia included. When they had asked, after a moment you agreed. Instantly regretting it, but able to go back on your decision. Although you were trying your best to come up with an excuse, but you could worry about that later. Your current problem was staring straight at you.

Hotch, sensing the tension, nods, “Good,” He says, “I’m sure that will be helpful for the case,”

It had been hours since you all were introduced, after checking the scenes, going over the files again, flicking through suspects, you were all worn out.

“Alright, everyone, lunch break,” Hotch declares, looking up from the file, as he turns to you, “(Y/N), any recommendations?”

You pause, thinking for a moment before nodding. “There’s a diner not too far from here,” You said.

“Vamoose to the cars,” Rossi cheers.

You give directions from the back, anxiety building up in your chest as you do. ‘They probably won’t even recognise you’ You tell yourself. It does little to calm you down and soon enough, you’re there.

“Ugh, she’s back,” You turn your head in the voice’s direction, holding back a smirk when you see the woman.

“Janice,” You said curtly, “Still a joy to be around I see,”

You’re behind the rest of the group and they’re too caught up in chatter to have noticed or heard the conversation, which you were grateful for. You were going to make it out of the case without the team finding out you were trans if it was the last thing you did.

When you’ve all chosen your seats and have gotten settled (you sat in a booth by the window), you realise you need the toilet. You announce it with a huff before standing and making your way over. It was still in view of the team, but quite a trek away.

“Sorry, you can’t go in there,” Your stomach drops and you pause at the door. Turning, you see Mr Miles, your eleventh grade science teacher. “It’s mens,” He says, pointing at the stick figure on the toilet with ‘MEN’ written under it.

“What do you want me to say?” You ask, “Well done for reading?” Mr Miles glares, stepping closer to you.

“You’re not a man.”

“Listen, I get it, you’re insecure about your masculinity, but that’s no excuse to take that out on other people. You’re getting on in years, it’s completely normal to be insecure about your little soldier at your age,” You were exhausted and had no energy to waste on people like him. “Now, I suggest we both go our separate ways. If you don’t want me in your bathroom, wait until I’ve left.”

You walk into the bathroom with a smirk.

When you exit the bathroom, a waitress is standing there, “I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” She says, folding her arms. You raise your eyebrows.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re making customers uncomfortable,”

“Whatever,” You say with a laugh. You walk past her with a scoff, going up to the table the team were sitting at and you take your seat. You knew this wasn’t going to go well.

You see the waitress talking to the manager. The team gives you a questioning look and you try your best to look innocent and shrug it off. And then the manager walks up to the table.

“I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” He says.

“What, why?” Hotch asks from next to you.

“No you, just-” His eyes flick to you, “You.”

“Why does he have to leave?” Morgan asks, eyebrows furrowed.

“Making customers uncomfortable,” He’s not using pronouns and it makes you bite back a smile. These people were the pettiest people you have ever met.

“Right,” You say sarcastically, “Yet he was the one trying to get a sneak peak of my dick,” Had you had bottom surgery? No. Did they need to know that? No.

The team’s jaws drop. “Leave willingly or we will forcibly remove you.”

“He’s an FBI agent-” Hotch argues.

“An FBI agent making multiple customers uncomfortable.”

“How?” Prentiss questions.

“Alright, I’m leaving,” You say, beginning to stand up. Garcia grabs your arm, preventing you.

“No, you’re not.” She says.

“It’s fine,” You lie, turning to the team. “I’ll meet you back at the station,” The team tries to protest but you shake your head, “No, it’s fine, I’ll grab something on the way back. By the way, the burger’s really good,”

With that, you stand up and begin to make your way out of the diner. You’re shaking and you can’t remember ever being this angry. You’re getting a headache from the built up rage.

You see Mr Miles smirking and waving at you as you leave. You respond with a sarcastic smile and the middle finger - watching as his face fills with rage. Old prick.

You’re out of the diner, about to make your way back to the station when the team catches up. You close your eyes. “What was that about?” Spencer asks curiously.

You give a tightlipped smile, “Nothing,” You say, “Just-”

“You were a smart mouthed kid?” Spencer adds, referencing the lie from before. You nod.

“You got kicked out of the diner for being smart mouthed as a kid?” Morgan asks. You nod.

“I don’t want to talk about it, can we just grab some food and get back to work?”

After a moment of studying you, Hotch nods, “Alright. But we will be talking about this later,” You repress a groan as you quickly nod.

Spencer’s sat next to you on the drive back and he’s keeping a close eye on you. So was Morgan (through the rearview mirror) and Garcia (from the passenger’s seat). Emily, Rossi, Hotch, and JJ were all in the other SUV.

“You sure you’re okay?” Morgan asks as he takes a left.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” You respond, “You need to take a right,”

It was near the end of the case, you could feel it. It was that awkward plateau before all the answers flooded in and you solved it. You were in the break room, grabbing a coffee for you (and Spencer, who looked like he hadn’t slept in a week). You hummed to yourself as you made it, you were the only one in the room so you felt comfortable enough to do so.

The door opened and closed quietly behind you and you stopped humming but continued to make the coffees, currently waiting on the machine.

“Do your team even know?” You roll your eyes, turning to face Seth.

“Do my team even know what, Seth?” You ask.

“I’ll take that as a no,” Stepping closer to you as he spoke, Seth sneered, “How are they gonna feel when they realise that you aren’t the person they thought you are? That you aren’t the person that they tolerate?”

You gulped, “Seth, shut up,”

“How can you expect your team to trust you, if they don’t even know you, huh?” You shoved him back when he went to touch your shoulder.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” You growled, you pointed a finger at him. “My team can trust me, they do trust. I have proven myself over and over again. So what they don’t know every damn thing about me? They don’t need to know everything about me to trust that I can do my job!”

"What's going on?" Your stomach dropped. Hotch. You turned around, seeing the team behind you.

Seth snickered, “Nowhere to run now, (Y/N),” Breath hit the back of your throat. You felt like you couldn’t breathe.

Say something.

Say something, damnit! They’re all staring at you, waiting for you to reply. What do you say? You need to say something.

“If you trust them so much, tell them. Go on, tell them pinochio. Tell them that you aren’t a real boy after all.” Seth laughs.

You open your mouth, ready to come up with a shitty excuse, yet another lie. “I-”

You flush deeply at the laughter behind you, “God, this is just pathetic. How about I spell it out for you?” He suggested, “Since you can’t seem to do so yourself.” He turned to the team, whose faces were all painted with confusion. “She’s a girl. Woman. Female. A tranny.” Seth placed a hand over his chest as he gasped loudly.

You feel your hands start to tremble, you shake your head - trying your best to blink back tears, “Stop,”

“Not that big tough FBI agent now, are you (D/N)?” The first tear falls causing Seth to taunt you with his smirk, “Oh this is just pathetic,”

You’re not sure whether you want to hit him or run and hide away from the world for the rest of your life. You’re tempted to hit him and then hide away. Luckily for you, your legs are way ahead of your brain and you run, the team too surprised to chase you. Well, until Morgan snaps out of it and tries to run after you. You weave in and out of the buildings expertly, this wasn’t the first time you had to hide from someone. Although, you doubted that Morgan would hurt you. You didn’t have that doubt about Seth and his friends when you were growing up. You hide behind a dumpster and Morgan runs straight past you, you go undetected in the opposite direction.

You’ve been out of the station for hours, it’s dark now. You can still see where you’re going, granted that’s mostly because of the dull street lights, but you can see well enough. You had left your phone at the station, knowing that the first thing Hotch would do is get Garcia to track it. You didn’t want to be found. You didn’t want to see the look of disappointment and judgement on your team’s face. You couldn’t deal with that. You had dealt with that your whole life and now all you wanted was a family and that’s what you had found here. All you wanted to do was find somewhere you fit in, where you could be who you really were and this team was the closest you had gotten to that and now it had been ripped away.

You found the spot you used to hide in when you were young with ease. First floor of an abandoned building no one ever went in. Some teenagers a few years older than you started a rumour that it was haunted and since then, no one enters it.

Glaring at Seth, Hotch walks forward. Seth coward at the glare. “Where would (Y/N) go?”

Seth gave a half-assed shrug, “Why do you care anyway?”

“He’s our family,” Rossi answered. “Where would he go?”

“Some stupid abandoned building,” Seth muttered after a second.

“Perfect, sounds like you know where it is,” Prentiss said sharply.

You sat in the corner, scowling at the wall opposite you. Seth had just ruined everything. Everything was gone. You shouldn’t have even come on this case. You should have pretended you were ill, or something! You groaned, letting your head fall back on the wall behind you. “This is just shit,” You mumbled. You kind of wished you had brought your phone with you so you could at least play Candy Crush or something.

Your head snapped up, hearing a floorboard creak and you shot to your feet. Part of you expecting it to be Sean and his friends before you shove that thought aside. Hotch walks in first, followed swiftly by the rest of your team and your heart plummets, expecting the worst.

“I told Hart that if he misgenders or deadnames you again, Derek will shoot him,” Garcia says, stepping forward to embrace you in a tight hug, which you gladly reciprocate.

“You’re okay with it?” You mumble into her shoulder.

“We all are,” She replied, rubbing a hand up your back. “I promise. Look, we’re all okay with it, right guys?”

“Of course!”

“We support you no matter what,”

“We’re family,”

“Why wouldn’t we be?” You grinned.

“Come on, let’s get back to the station, I’m starving,” Garcia said.

Hotch nodded, “I’d like to try out that diner, I hear the burgers there are great.”

“I’m not allowed in, remember?”

Rossi patted your back with a grin, “Don’t you worry about that, kiddo,”

When the case was wrapped up, you sighed, turning to the team. “You still wanna meet the family?”

“We don’t have to-” JJ began, you shook your head.

“No, it’s fine, we’ve pretty much all met each other’s parents at this point,” You said with a laugh. “It’s my sister’s birthday and I don’t want to miss another one,” You and your sister, Clara, had always been close. She was the only one who supported you throughout your transition and you had managed to keep in contact, (despite your parents’ wishes). She was the only family member you kept in contact with.

“I didn’t know you had a sister,” Spencer commented.

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me,” You said mysteriously, you all gave a short laugh. “Besides, it’s only round the corner anyway,”

With that, you began the car journey - Derek had let you drive. Turns out, getting outed did have it’s benefits. Within five minutes you’re out the car and walking down a road.

“This is it,” You said, pausing in front of the door. You hadn’t been here since you left for university. It would be fine, your team was here.

With a deep breath, you knocked on the door.

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