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polaroidcats · 7 months

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Ugly crying & the marauders generation - a pseudo-scientific approach (my marauders crying PhD abstract)

Abstract

In recent days, there have been a variety of claims as to who the prettiest and ugliest crier in the marauders generation could be. This paper aims to address the recent surge in opinions on the matter, and categorize different approaches as well as add a new approach to the scientific examination of ugliness/prettiness when it comes to crying. I hope to provide readers with an overview of the current state of research and encourage all marauders scholars to add their own and I intend to make a contribution to the discourse by committing to the bit and writing a pseudo-academic paper about it instead of actually working on my thesis.

Introduction

In the following paper, the discourse about 5 marauders era characters will be examined in regards to their various levels of perceived ugliness whilst crying. Scholars who may ask why Peter [Pettigrew] is not included in this analysis are advised to refer to acclaimed marauders ugly crying scholar @lynxindisguise's (2023) original poll on the popular blogging website "tumblr.com" which did not include Peter, but rather two non-marauders characters named Lily and Regulus. This paper will follow that approach, since Peter is the nastiest skank bitch I have ever met, I do not trust him and he is a fugly slut. The characters included in this approach are as follows: James Potter, Lily Evans, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Regulus Black.

Following the scientific criteria for ugly crying, as stated by lynxindisguise et. al (2023), the question of the ugliest crier can be answered by observing the crying person and assessing their ugly-levels on the following parameters: (1) unbecoming facial expressions, (2) facial swelling/blotching, (3) unsettling noises, (4) snot factor, (5) tear volume, (6) general loss of dignity, (7) glistening eyes/lashes, (8) Victorian heroine factor, (9) elegant tear-wiping, (10) post-cry glow (ibid).

Criteria (1)-(6) can be categorized as the ugly crying parameters whereas (7)-(10) are pretty crying parameters, creating a false binary between ugly and pretty crying, which may be problematised and addressed in another the paper. In contrast to lynxindisguise’s original 10 criteria to measure the aesthetics of crying, this paper proposes to add (11) explosiveness of cry as another ugly crying parameter, in order to get a more clear assessment of where on the ugly-pretty crying scale a character falls.

The ugly crying parameters

(1) Unbecoming facial expressions

James Potter is mentioned in this category by several marauders scholars: @jaylienpotter talks about his red face and ugly sobbing, @artbyace mentions his “scrunched up cry face” and @sectoren claimes “james (…) is that one handsome guy that when the waterworks get going becomes like. Cartoonishly ugly”, raising the question of upkeeping toxic masculinity in order to avoid having to witness more of James Potter’s crying “mug”.

Though James Potter features heavily in this category, another character who is also mentioned just as often is Remus Lupin: @kaaaaaaarf, @appreciatedmoron and @http-starboy all emphasise that Remus Lupin is the one with a red and blotchy face.

(2) facial swelling/blotching

While there is a definitive overlap between the categories of facial swelling/blotching, unbecoming facial expressions and snot factor, Sirius’ and Regulus’ victorian heroine complexions, which give them an advantage in the homonymous category, may be to their disadvantage in the “blotching” category. This will require further research by other scholars.

(3) unsettling noises

James Potter is mentioned in this category by Jaylienpotter (2023), claiming he not only hiccups when crying but also that “his cries are one of the most heartbreaking things you’ll ever hear” and similarly, artbyace states that “James loves and feels so loudly”, whereas “Sirius is silent”, both sentiments are reminiscent of znelda’s (2023) statements that James “was allowed to feel his emotions freely in a loving household” and “Sirius (…) [is] used to hide [his] feelings and [has] become stoic”.

With several other scholars, among them also @jamesunderwater (2023) raising the point that James may be the ugliest crier due to him being “the only one well adjusted enough to have access to his feelings” this raises the question of possibly introducing another category, maybe of emotional awareness/stability to be able to measure this parameter more efficiently, though emotional vulnerability may also just be a part of the unsettling noises parameter, suggesting that there is a correlation between noisiness and the existing environment being welcoming to and accepting of various expressions of emotions.

(4) snot factor

The most popular winner in the snot factor category seems to be Remus Lupin, with several scholars agreeing that his sobs are the dampest and snottiest out of all the candidates. kaaaaaaarf (2023) writes “he turnes all red and blochty and snot drips out of his nose (…) he cant (sic) not cry with his mouth open as well so there is a lot of spit”, and appreciatedmoron (2023) agrees with kaaaaaaarf on this.

It only seems right to me to include spit in the snot category as well, seeing as they’re both crying-related bodily fluids that add to the ugly-cry factor. http-starboy (2023) also mentions snot in regards to Remus Lupin, which compared to both their comments in (1) opens up the question of how unbecoming facial expressions, more particularly redness of the face and snot factor may be related, as several authors seem to write about both specifically in relation to each other. Whether this is just pure coincidence or not would need further research, for which we currently do not have enough funding. This is only one of the many research gaps in the relatively new field of marauder’s ugly crying studies, which cannot fully be addressed in this paper.

James Potter is also mentioned in the snot category, namely by the marauders scholar artbyace (2023).

(5) tear volume

Artbyace (2023) claims James Potter is “full on bawling” which can only be assumed to refer to tear volume, but the most convincing argument for tear volume comes from the acclaimed marauders scholar @fruityindividual (2023), stating that “tsunami warning tones go off in sirius’ brain anytime remus is close 2 (sic) tears” which already indicates high levels of tear volumes. The author then goes on to specify the volume by claiming that “indeed the ocean wishes rj lupin would jump in and help contribute 2 (sic) rising sea levels”, further emphasizing the volume of Remus's tears.

(6) general loss of dignity

@pastaplatypus (2023) writes about James Potter not being able to do a Melodramatic Bollywood Cry, which is perceived as inherently racist by the crier.

I would like to argue that Sirius Black also deserves to be mentioned in this category. While as of today, with less than 1 hour left to vote, 15.5% of voters agree that Sirius is the ugliest crier, the more outspoken voices all argue for different ugly criers. Due to their upbringing, I am tempted to name both Black brothers in the “loss of dignity” category and look forward to reading future contributions to this discussion.

The pretty crying parameters

(7) glistening eyes/lashes

Undoubtedly Sirius Black deserves to be mentioned in this category. I believe his dark lashes and glimmering eyes are part of what makes him the prettiest crier. Whereas Remus’s eyes also sometimes glisten or appear red, and it is usually attributed to be caused by drug consumption, which more often than not is a wrong assumption, but he happily goes along with the pretense of being a weed-smoking bad boy in order to hide his ugly crying damp tendencies.

(8) Victorian heroine factor

It almost seems superfluous to even mention Sirius (and, to a lesser degree, Regulus) Black in this category. This category was made for Sirius, as is apparent when reading lynxindisguises (2023) description of the victorian heroine factor, in response to a question by the scholar @plecotusauritus:

“the Victorian Heroine Factor is a deeply scientific assessment of the Vibes. Is this person giving tragically beautiful, windswept Victorian Heroine, sobbing gently into their hands while sprawled across a boulder or a well or a fountain of some sort? When they look up at you, do their tear-plumped lips part elegantly as a single tear slides down their cheek?”

(9) elegant tear-wiping

There hasn't been a lot of research in this area, but I would like to propose handkerchiefs with embroidered initials and family crests as another potential factor in favor of the Black brothers scoring high marks in this category as well as the Victorian heroine factor.

(10) post-cry glow

Artbyace (2023) claims “lily is always beautiful (…) even when crying”, which is echoed by znelda’s (2023) earlier claim that “Lily (…) [is] a woman and no woman is ugly when crying.”

Sirius is the other popular choice by marauders scholars for this category, with @in-flvx (2023) stating that he “handsomely handsomes while dying after 12 years of torture hell and another year in shackles”, which would mean that “a few tears would[n’t] stop him from being the hottest person in the room at all times” (ibid).

Additional parameters

I am suggesting to introduce an additional metric in order to further specify and better assess the ugly-crying levels:

(11) explosiveness of cry

@felixantares (2023) introduces the idea that Remus “is the type that very few people have been seen cry because he ignores every difficult emotion hes (sic) ever had (…) and it all explodes at once and its horrible to watch when he breaks down”, a sentiment shared by several of the other authors mentioned above in various other categories.

Further opinions & conclusions

The most popular consensus seems to be that Sirius cannot be the ugliest crier, sometimes also in direct comparison to his brother: @spindrifters (2023) answers the question of the ugliest crier with “obviously it’s regulus”, elaborating that “at least [it’s] definitely not sirius bc (sic) reg is canonically less handsome in all ways” which brings up the question if regular beauty plays into ugly crying. This is contrasted by lynxindisguises argument, that Sirius may be an ugly crier because he’s so gorgeous, and his ugly crying subverts the expectations of beauty:

“the most beautiful man alive looks hideous while crying, and his deeply awkward and perpetually damp bf (sic) is literally in his element while crying – dampness becomes him, you might say.”

This statement raises yet another question – does regular crying make the crier more or less ugly? Can an ugly crier become a pretty crier by practice or are we all born either ugly or pretty criers, condemned to this fate for life?

While this paper has given an overview of the current state of research to ugly crying/pretty crying, it has also raised many more questions. Other topics which may be addressed in future papers also include the philosophical question whether ugly crying is in the eye of the beholder and if it is possible to ugly cry without being perceived, and if it is possible to ugly cry if the person perceiving you doesn’t find it ugly. Since the research field of ugly crying is a relatively new one, we can only hope to read many more opinions on these and other topics in the future, and I look forward to reading different scholar’s approaches to these highly relevant topics.

#marauders #idek what to tag this as lol #i don't write fic i only write pseudo scientific papers on fandom analysis (apparently) lol i had so much fun writing this #even if just 1 person reads it i'll be happy i know it's ridiculous #scientific analysis of ugly crying #akso i tried to tag everyone i mentioned to make it feel more like i'm actually quoting them (which i am) but if anyone doesn't want to be #tagged in this lmk and i'll remove it haha #anyways okay i'll post it now #this is what happens when i go on tumblr during work hours and then keep thinking about how much more fun editing papers would be if they #were about the marauders instead of the things i have to read/edit at work #hp #remus lupin #sirius black #james potter #lily evans #regulus black #(this thing has almost 2k words and i wrote it in 2-3hours)#idek what that says about me #that this is how i chose to spend my tuesday evening #but i love it

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betrixxxed · 2 months

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Click for quality?? Forgot tumblr eats png files for some reason..Anyway I finally found out how I want to draw Alastor lol

I'm rewatching Hazbin Hotel with my friend and we were freaking out trying to figure out what that horizontal line across is chest is supposed to be...wouldn't be surprised if Viv didn't know either lol (no shade) ((a little shade))

#really liked this one so i figured i could start posting on tumblr lol #this feels weird #but ya i think it'll make drawing more fun #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel fanart #alastor hazbin hotel #i hate his hair so much lol...i actually thought i liked it before i tried to draw it #and realized how much it bothered me #redesign wasn't really based on lovesarts design from youtube #but i have seen it before and really liked it so it probably influenced this #mostly its a blend of the original elements i actually liked and that uuuh #fandom human version who's white for some reason #youve seen him before im sure #hazbin redesign #hazbin hotel redesign #hazbin hotel critical #last tag there bc i think those usually go hand in hand with the redesigns??#and also for blocking purposes ig #i like him a lot lol. made him kind of a DILF #if i did this again i would make the insides of his ears visible bc i forgot but oh well

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leolingo · 10 months

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🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 HAPPY 100TH QSMP DAY 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

#and many more to come !!!!!!!#the fandom experience so far has been so fun #to me personally #i wasnt that active on tumblr before but i made the switch and im enjoying myself so much #love you dash #love you qsmp tag #MWAH #qsmp #mine #kit.txt

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asoingbob · 2 months

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lately all ive been doing is play style savvy so heres a profile-styled (?) practice for my regular customer...

lineart under the cut (unfinished LOL)

#i dont even sell raven candle that much #style savvy #style savvy monique #style boutique #fart tag #cant wait for tumblr to kill the quality. lol #ok i cant lie this was so fun to do... i want to do more.....

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jayden-writes · 10 months

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ab irato

pairing: Lucifer x gn!Reader

word count: ~3.5k

genre: hurt/comfort, angst

cw: mental breakdown, self-deprecation, self-harm (not graphic)

summary: When you break under the pressure of keeping up with Devildom curriculum, an unlikely demon comes to your aid.

other notes: no name, Y/N or MC used // AO3 // thanks to @gravedwe11er for helping me so much with this fic!

Too much. Too much. You couldn't breathe. The steady slamming of your fists against your thighs as you were sitting on the edge of your bed did nothing to help you feel grounded. You needed to rip yourself apart, break your body open or the anger would tear through the seams of your being, engulfing you in an inferno and burning you into cinder. Flames were raging in your body, licking at your soul, your heart, your lungs. You wanted to scream until your throat was raw, but you couldn’t make a sound other than ragged attempts at breathing and angry whimpers.

This was going to kill you, you knew it, you could feel yourself decaying in real-time, your head swimming, rushing in your ears and your lungs constricted as your body was slowly being consumed by the fire. Until, out of nowhere, the movement of your fists stilled. It took you a few seconds to realize that there were strong hands clad in black gloves keeping them in place despite your resistance against them. Gradually, the image of Lucifer kneeling in front of you registered in your dazed mind and you met his gaze.

His lips were moving, though you were unable to make out what he was saying amidst the utter chaos in your head, even the expression he was wearing on his face was entirely lost on you. However, you could feel his hands squeezing yours rhythmically in an unsuccessful attempt to ground you. He kept up the effort for a few moments, but eventually he carefully loosened the hold he had on you, only fully letting go once he was sure you wouldn’t continue hitting yourself. Then he left.

As soon as the door had closed behind him a sob tore through your throat and hot tears of shame started running down your cheeks, scorching your skin. You hid your face in your hands and cried, feeling yourself getting more upset than you already were. Of course he wouldn’t want to be around when you were acting like this, what were you expecting? In the five months you had known him he hadn’t been particularly caring or kind towards you - mostly keeping his interactions with you to a bare minimum, only making sure you wouldn’t die during your stay in the Devildom - so obviously he couldn’t be bothered to take care of a human having a pathetic mental breakdown.

You felt the blaze burning even stronger, your fingers quickly moving to your hair, yanking at it desperately, although that brought you no reprieve either. Suddenly the mattress dipped down right next to you and something cold was pressed on the nape of your neck. It was such an abrupt and stark contrast to the conflagration that was raging inside of you that you instinctively tried moving away from it, but an unyielding arm promptly held you in place, forcing you to let the cold seep through your skin and your body. Within a few seconds you became completely still, your hands dropping into your lap. Your lungs ached when they fully expanded again for the first time in what felt like an eternity as you took deep, shuddering breaths while the shock of the icy feeling worked its way through your insides, smothering the flames that had been consuming you. The rushing in your ears ceased and your vision became less blurry. Finally, you could hear yourself crying and the tension in your muscles slowly dissipated. The restraining arm that had been keeping you in place disappeared, but the cold thing on your nape remained.

There were no words spoken as your tears slowly came to a stop and your breathing slowed down, a feeling of exhaustion settling into your bones.

“Why?” you whispered, shifting slightly to face Lucifer without looking him in the eye.

“What exactly do you mean?” he asked, raising an eyebrow as he put his arm down, removing an ice pack from your neck.

“Why are you here? I don’t… I don’t understand. It’s not like I was in physical danger, you could have just… left me alone.”

“Because,” he replied after a few beats of silence, “Lord Diavolo has tasked me with taking care of your well-being, mental and physical alike.”

Your shoulders sagged at that and you turned away from him. Of course he was only doing this because of Lord Diavolo and not because he genuinely cared. How foolish of you, to think otherwise.

“Right…” you muttered, feeling your throat closing up, “you can go then. I’ll be fine, I can handle myself for now.”

Lucifer exhaled heavily as he contemplated his next words.

“I would rather not leave you alone at this time,” his voice was firm, making you scoff.

“Don’t worry, I won’t do anything that would put your oh-so-important exchange program in jeopardy. There’s no need for you to stick around any longer,” you spoke, hurt clearly audible in your voice despite your efforts to mask it with an indifferent tone. His eyes were fixed on you, studying your form for a few seconds before speaking once more.

“That’s not the only reason,” he replied with a sigh. You frowned and turned to him with an incredulous look in your eyes.

“Oh, so now you care?” you asked, voice brimming with bitterness. He let out a short chuckle, mouth twisting into a small, wry smile.

“Whether you believe it or not, watching you suffer brings me no pleasure,” he examined your bewildered expression with amusement for a bit, then his face grew serious again.

“I wish to help you through this, if you would let me. I want you to rely on me, to trust me with your pain,” he reached out an ungloved hand, thumb brushing gently across your cheek as you gaped at him in astonishment. “I will not leave your side, not unless you send me away.”

Lucifer’s gaze carried a small hint of concern and fondness, and you couldn’t remember ever seeing such emotions on his usually well-guarded face. You kept staring at him, not knowing what to say, but the touch of his hand felt nice and soothing and you couldn’t help wanting to accept his offer. With a stifled yawn you leaned into the contact and closed your eyes, allowing yourself to enjoy this moment of tenderness.

“You must be exhausted,” he said in a soft voice, “perhaps it would be best if you rested for some time. I will stay with you - if you are amenable.”

“That would be nice,” you muttered, fatigue taking hold of you. His hand disappeared from your cheek and you opened your eyes again, watching him take off his shoes and coat and lie down on the bed. You followed suit and let your weary body sink into the mattress, keeping a respectful distance from him. Some time later you felt him gently stroking your hair, the touch a steady reminder of his presence.

While you tried to relax and fall asleep, remnants of your emotions caught up with you and your body began shaking, a lump forming in your throat. You didn’t want to cry again, you were so tired of it. But Lucifer, perceptive as ever, paused his movements and you could hear him coming closer to you. His arm moved underneath your neck, holding your shoulder and pulling you towards him. Soon enough your head was lying on his chest and his other arm was resting on your waist. The carefulness of his hold only served to make you feel more raw on the inside, a whimper escaping your mouth against your will as tears started cascading down your cheeks, soaking through the fabric of his clothes. Lucifer remained quiet, tracing patterns on your skin with his fingers as your body shook with sobs and you clung to him, seeking comfort in his steadfast embrace until you calmed down.

It was completely silent aside from his steady breathing and your occasional sniffles and hiccups. He kept caressing your body and eventually you drifted off to sleep.

When you began waking up the following morning you were still too groggy to comprehend your surroundings, though you felt safe and warm and you would have stayed that way forever, but then a deep voice cut through the serenity.

“Did you sleep well?”

Startled, your eyes shot open and the first thing you saw was Lucifer’s face a few inches away from yours as the memories of last night came flooding back.

“You really stayed,” you muttered, genuine surprise in your voice.

“Of course I did, I always stay true to my word,” he easily replied, running a hand through his disheveled hair. You were still wrapped up in his arms, marvelling at the unguarded look on his face. Before you knew it you moved a hand to cup his cheek, fully expecting him to withdraw or get annoyed, but to your amazement he didn't. Instead, he stayed still and gazed at you with a look in his eyes you couldn't identify. It almost mesmerized you; however, you shook yourself out of your reverie and sat up with a heavy sigh. Lucifer kept looking at you, but you stared at your hands that were laying in your lap.

It was silent for a bit as you thought about last night, a grave feeling washing over you the more you ruminated.

“You can go now,” you mumbled, eyes flicking up to look Lucifer in the face.

“Excuse me?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“You don’t have to hang around any longer; you did your duty,” you said, a tinge of sadness in your tone.

”Why would I not?”

“Why would you want to stay? Just because you don't enjoy seeing me suffer? Please. I appreciate what you did last night, I really do, but you can now stop pretending that you give a shit.”

“I’m not pre-” he started saying while he sat up, only to be cut off by you.

“Yes, of course you are. I mean- what even am I compared to you? I'm… I’m nothing. Absolutely nothing. I'm weak, there's nothing special about me. I'm just a human,” you kept ranting.

“Don't-”

“And compared to most other humans I'm still pathetic and weak. I freaked out like this over stupid homework. Over homework! And it wasn't even the first time and it won't be the last time either,” you didn't know what you were saying anymore, the words kept coming as you worked yourself into a frenzy, your shoulders heaving as you were breathing heavily.

“Stop-” he tried again to no avail, sounding exasperated.

“I am nothing but a burden and a risk to the program. I shouldn't- I shouldn’t be here! You picked the worst fucking human in existence for this- this important project and now you have to worry about me ruining everything! Why else would you even bother with-”

Out of nowhere your face was grabbed by Lucifer's hands and his lips met yours. He soon pulled away again, looking at you with narrowed eyes.

“I will not have you talking about yourself in such a degrading manner”, he warned you, an angry edge to his voice, “none of what you said is even remotely true and I refuse to stand by idly and let you say such things.”

The kiss and his words stunned you into silence. Your mind was racing, and you didn’t know what to say or what to think.

“Listen to me very closely”, he spoke in a low and commanding tone, his hands still framing your face tightly, “do you truly think I would spend my valuable time with you like this if I only cared about the program?”

“I- I don't know? Probably not…?” you questioned. The weight of his words and actions was slowly beginning to sink in and the doubts in your mind began to dim.

“Precisely. There are no ulterior motives; I have nothing to gain from such actions. I did what I did because I wanted to, that’s all there is to it. Do you understand?”

“I- I think so, yes,” you muttered, the hands holding your face loosening their grasp ever so slowly.

“From now on, I want you to reach out to me any time you begin to feel overwhelmed in this manner. I will not allow you to deal with this by yourself again, am I making myself clear?”

“Yeah, okay. If that’s what you want, then I guess I can do that,” came your not entirely truthful reply as you turned your head away from him to avoid his piercing stare. He sighed and shifted your face back towards him.

“I mean it”, Lucifer emphasized, his voice and expression softer now, “let me be there for you.”

More and more of your doubts were disappearing by the minute, the way he was looking at you made you believe in his sincerity.

“Okay, I will contact you when this happens again, I promise. But… I need to know what changed. Why are you suddenly being so nice to me? And why did you… kiss me?”

For a few seconds, his eyes flickered away, avoiding yours, but he quickly recovered.

“Why? Because I wanted to. I wanted to ease your pain, and I wanted to kiss you,” he answered casually, moving his hand to your chin and brushing a thumb over your lips.

“You can’t kiss someone simply because you want to,” you stated indignantly, face blushing furiously.

“Why not? Are you telling me you did not like it?” Lucifer asked, a smug smile on his face.

“I-It’s not about that!” you exclaimed.

“Ah, but I don’t hear you denying it either.”

“I don’t- I don’t want to be kissed on just a whim,” you huffed.

“I never do anything on ‘just a whim’. You are worth more than that,” his teasing smile became tender as he said that and he moved closer. You felt your pulse beginning to race, pounding in your chest as if it was trying to break out of your ribcage. The emotions that were swirling inside you were overwhelming; there was confusion and irritation, but you also had butterflies in your stomach that were fluttering around wildly, making you feel incredibly flushed.

“W-what are you doing?” you whispered nervously, feeling his breath on your skin.

“Merely showing you how much I meant it, if I may?”

Everything around you felt fuzzy and almost unreal, but you managed to nod. He closed the gap between the two of you, his lips pressing lightly against yours. Compared to the earlier kiss, this one felt much more deliberate and gentle, less of a demand and closer to a request instead. His hand was on the back of your head, fingers stroking through your hair. As you were starting to get entirely lost in the sensation, Lucifer pulled away, leaving you dazed and breathless. He removed his hands from your face and gave you a little bit of space while you tried to regain your composure.

There was a genuine, pleased smile on his face when he was looking at you and it only made you blush harder. Your heart was still beating way too fast, and the whirlwind of emotions inside of you wasn’t letting up either. All you could do was stare at him in disbelief.

“Do you see my point now?” Lucifer asked with a soft chuckle, watching your baffled expression with a mix of amusement and affection. You nodded. Maybe you were imagining it, but you could swear there was the tiniest amount of pink tinting his cheeks.

“Good,” he said, his demeanor growing serious again, “then I believe it would be best if we talked about last night.”

“Ah… is that really necessary?” you muttered in disappointment.

“I understand that this might be uncomfortable for you, but in order for me to be able to help you, to be there for you, I need to know more.”

Sighing deeply you took a few measured breaths, trying to suppress the anxiety that was now taking hold of you once more. You leaned against the headboard, looking away and gathering yourself for a few moments.

“My grades have been falling short of my expectations and I’m having a hard time understanding the topics in class. I- the homework has gotten increasingly harder and I just- I understand less and less with each class I attend,” you explained, your voice quivering slightly, “I thought it would get easier with time, that I’d be able to comprehend everything, o-or at least more, but no. It’s only getting worse and I- I feel so frustrated and angry. And when I was doing homework last night, I guess I just- I just snapped. I’ve been struggling with other homework and assignments since I got here, but it hasn’t been this bad in- in a while.”

Closing your eyes you took more deliberate breaths to try and calm the emotions bubbling in your chest. You heard Lucifer move, his body settling next to you as he put a comforting hand over yours.

“I-it’s always been like that, I guess. I get overwhelmed with something and I-I freak out, I don’t even know why. It’s stupid and embarrassing,” you finished off your explanation quietly, trying to resist the urge to deprecate yourself further because you knew it would only make him upset again.

“How often does this happen?” he questioned, rubbing a thumb over the back of your hand.

“Oh… uhm, not that often, I guess?” You gave back anxiously.

“How often?” he pressed again.

“Ever since I got here maybe… ten times?”

“So, twice a month?”

You opened your eyes and carefully looked at him, taking in his frown before shaking your head, causing him to narrow his eyes.

“No… in the first four months it only happened three times overall, but this month has been… difficult,” you explained with an uneasy laugh.

“Seven times? This month alone?” he concluded, clearly taken aback.

“Well… maybe? I don’t know for sure, I haven’t exactly kept count.”

“So you’re saying it could have been more than ten times?”

“It could have also been less!” you protested weakly, knowing very well that Lucifer was right in his assumption. One incredulous look from him was enough for you to deflate and sigh heavily.

“Did you have any intentions of ever telling anyone? Or would you have kept on suffering alone had I not found you by pure chance?” he finally asked after a while, his voice stern with a hint of concern.

The way you remained silent, avoiding his gaze, told him all he needed to know. He cursed under his breath, a hand ruffling through his hair. Just when you were about to apologize, he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you to his chest and holding you in a firm embrace. You let your head rest against him and lazily draped your arm across his waist before you spoke again.

“Being a human here is… difficult, Lucifer. I already feel so vulnerable and the thought of telling this to someone, to a being that is so much more powerful, so much older than I am, is mortifying. I was- I still am scared that something like this will only make you see how weak I actually am.”

He raised a hand to your face, caressing your cheek in a soothing manner.

“I don't consider you weak - quite the opposite, in fact. Bearing the burden of being an exchange student in a foreign place, surrounded by demons, would be a difficult matter for any human. However, it is foolish to carry this weight alone, and if I have a say in it, you never will again,” he assured you, tightening his hold around you, “we can come together however often it is necessary and go over your assignments; I will make sure you understand everything. In turn, I expect you to come to me whenever there is something troubling you.”

“I will, I promise,” you said earnestly. Lucifer hummed appreciatively and you sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, until the alarm of your phone nearly made you jump out of your skin.

“Fuck, I have to get ready,” you mumbled as you untangled yourself from his hold and stood up.

“No need.”

“Huh?” You stopped dead in your tracks, staring at him in confusion.

“I will excuse you from today’s classes,” he explained casually while getting up himself, “and I will tell my brothers to leave you alone, so that you may focus on resting instead. If you need anything, do not hesitate to call me.”

“Thank you for letting me skip RAD, but… I can’t just call you. I know how busy you are, and I don’t want to bother you when you have so little time already.”

“Don’t argue with me on this, I will make time for you. And now, rest. We will talk more in depth later.”

“Okay,” you conceded, watching him leave, “and Lucifer?” He stopped in front of the door and turned around, examining you expectantly.

“Thank you. Really.”

“You are welcome,” he gave you a soft smile and a nod, then he left.

With a content sigh you laid back down and closed your eyes, quickly falling asleep again.

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noogats · 1 year

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HAPPY LATE HALLOWEEN GUYS 🎃🧟

damien had a plan to get double the candy!! but pip isn't too sure 😅

#south park #damien thorn #pip pirrup #sp dip #christophe (sp)#hi i heard a lot of people were moving back here from twitter also 😳#which is cool because this websites tagging system is so much better for art #ive been busy lately with graduating college and internship woooo but im excited to draw more for fun and lols now too #tumblrs also better because i have my tags to ramble in here LOL #i wish i could on twitter all the time #anyways #my art

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bluebird-ascended · 4 months

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Rainbow dragon

my first art post of 2024! the time is just past midnight

#i would have posted it while in 2023 but the file wouldn't load and i had to jump a through hoops to get it ready. but it's here now!#anyways i figured out how to use gradient maps just for this drawing and i love them. downloaded a holographic pack and it's lovely.#i haven't been excited to do digital art in a while but every time i opened this file i really wanted to work on it #so that must mean something about how much i love jjk #speaking of this show is soooo good. rip rainbow dragon fuck toji #i added more rainbow because in canon that is straight up just a white dragon no rainbow in sight #sorry for spamming in the tags but i have a lot to say about this drawing #jjk fanart #jjk art #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #rainbow dragon #fanart #artists on tumblr #my art #jjk season 2 #jjk geto #getting geto to fit into this drawing was so hard. he does not want to be there ughhhh #the background was so fun to do though #enough talk! posting time

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aulerean · 1 month

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#dragon #dragon art #don't have much time for art right now because University wants my Head #so have this half hour end of day scribble its time for bEd #drawing where i have zero plan and just go with the vibes #it's unfinished but i like the direction the colours were going in #as it is? scribbly messy as shit but hey #was fun to draw #enjoy #dragons #dragon artist #artists on tumblr #artist #artistsontumblr #illustration #digital art #my art #art #dragon oc #the lighting makes no sense but shhhh its just vibes its just vibes ok #more specifically australia has blue and orange trees and i think its cool as HELL #anyway one day i will make those colours but today is not that day #uhhhhh yea hi person if you read all those tags :) kind of epic of you whats your favourite type of cheese #mines mersey valley #or blue #cheese is nice #ok goodnight

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that-was-anticlimactic · 17 days

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sits on a chair very politely. hi corey!! tell me about some of your bsd hcs ever

hiiiiiiiiiiiii

okay, so first and foremost, kenji and higuchi have tourette's syndrome (and i could go on about that but that's a whole other list lol)

jun'ichirou has a stutter and when he feels strong emotions, his eyes glitch like a neon green

kajii and ranpo hooked up once just cause

kajii is aroallo, so he was down for a one night stand and the two hold it over everyone's heads all the time like "remember that time i slept with the lemon explosions guy?"

dazai. kyouka, and akutagawa are all canonically afraid of dogs, but also like it's not like a silly hehe let's laugh fear it's like feel anxious around dogs, flinches when they hear them bark, hates their hair and has to shower every time they come in contact with one (okay the projection may be a lil strong with this one)

whenever kunikida and dazai are walking together and see a dog, kunikida makes sure he's the one closest to the dog and will wordlessly switch sides with dazai. atsushi does the same for kyouka and akutagawa, and gin + black lizard does the same for akutagawa, too

kenji struggles to process that he's experienced traumatic things, so when the adults around him try to shelter him (and kyouka, but it feels personal for awhile) from worse things, he feels like they're babying him and doesn't understand that they're trying to protect him. and then, eventually, it all blows up (prolly after the cannibalism incident) (okay... yes this is the plot of my kenji & tecchou fic but i stand by this lol)

i like to think that, no matter what universe, kenji has some kind of role in inadvertently getting kunichuu together

kenji has an eating disorder due to his ability, but he still hasn't Really processed that yet (like with his trauma) but the agency is really good about making sure he eats (but sometimes it gets hard during Tough arcs like with the hunting dogs and stuff... when kenji took food but only enough for everyone else and not himself... ough...)

kenji also (last one iuygcfghuji) has trouble sleeping at night due to his ability and bc he's so used to getting up early back at itahov. sometimes he doesn't get any sleep in a night, sometimes he can't sleep unless he eats.

when dazai and kunikida find out, dazai steals kunikida's credit card (and kunikida) and they go to the store and buy kenji a cow plushie so he has something to keep him company at night and is perfect for holding and cuddling

dazai suggests he names it kuni-san and kenji LOVES the name

dazai and kunikida get kyouka a cuddly bunny plushie after she joins, too

MARGARET MITCHELL IS A CONSPIRACY THEORIST AND HAS ADHD

lovecraft loves reality tv

the guild has mandatory weekly movie nights

nonbinary mark & lovecraft <333 and mark is Somewhere on the arospec... idk where, and neither do they, but they Are

one time mark pranked everyone by stealing their toilet paper holders and hiding them in a locker (... a student did that once. stole a toilet paper holder from the boy's bathroom, hid it in his locker, claimed he found it on the floor and put it in his locker for safe keeping)

this one is stolen from this AMAZING fic called "i can keep a secret if you hush" everyone should read it anyways kenji once walked in on tanihara making out (... heatedly... choking was involved) and they told him that it was a "fight between men" and "please don't tell anyone"

jun'ichirou is canonically afraid of earthquakes. the irl jun'ichirou's childhood home was destroyed by one. the real naomi died in an earthquake and so did the rest of his family and jun couldn't cope (he was A CHILD!!!) so light snow manifested naomi and it took him a couple years to realize she wasn't real and in this essay-

ranpo knew naomi was an illusion the Second he saw her and had a breakdown and hated her for a bit and avoided her and then told her she wasn't real once (and that lowkey traumatized him bc she broke Down) (anyways yes this is also the plot of a fic i wrote i just love this hc)

ranpo and naomi are gossip buddies and share Everything with each other. ranpo knows all and naomi was trained under dazai, so she's real close to knowing all. no silly secrets are safe.

anyways dazai taught naomi stuff, yes, but ranpo is the one who took her under his wing <333 (once he got over the illusion stuff)

yosano really likes reading, especially good mysteries, so when ranpo is busy or when poe wants a reader who won't figure it out right away, yosano is his test/beta reader <333

kenji lives with kunikida bc in wHAT WORLD would kunikida allow a fourteen year old who has never been to the city before to live on his own??? and clearly everyone else is too childish to host a child, other than jun but he already has naomi so there's two of them there, so ofc kunikida takes him in!!!

nathaniel isn't in love with maragret: she's like a younger sister to him and reminds him of his younger sisters

stealing this hc from "Poe's Baking Business: A Horror Story" but poe LOVES baking and is really good at it!!!

hirotsu owns a tractor and loves gardening <333 it's how he destresses

when people refer to "the black lizard", yes they mainly mean hirotsu, gin, and tachi, but over time, it started to include higuchi, akutagawa, and kajii <333

after the whole thing with fukuchi is over, kenji and tecchou have weekly lunches together

jouno comes along one day bc they don't "trust kenji" and now they accidentally adopted a son

kenji is willing to try tecchou's strange food combinations

bUT YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS??? THE MAN WHO EATS LEMONS LIKE APPLES!!! PEELS AND ALL!!! KAJII!!!

anyways kajii and tecchou friendship supremacy

they also have weekly dinners where they just try the most obscure things (kajii is actually a really good cook)

jouno gets really jealous and thinks they're dating at one point lol

tachi is the resident forced babysitter at the pm, so when kyouka was there, sometimes he'd take elise to her cell and they would pass her paper and coloring utensils so they could color together

tachi still has some of her drawings

once kyouka decides she likes you, you get doodles and drawings <333

names mean a lot to tachi. he doesn't quite understand why and has lots of identity issues, but he suddenly feels more like a real person when jun'ichirou calls him "michi" for the first time

after the vampire incident, higuchi and akutagawa sit down and have a MUCH needed conversation about their relationship (not romantic lol) and it's awkward and a lil messy but oh SO worth it

ofc dazai, kunikida, tachi, and akutagawa never fully healed from their injuries from the whole... everything going on right now and all have chronic pain

elise's favorite game is tea party but with Roles. tachihara is always the sparkle solider and chuuya always ends up being the worm. never upgrades. sometimes, very rarely, akutagawa gets to be a sparkle princess

ATSUSHI HAS CHRONIC HAND PAIN BC OF THE ABUSE FROM THE ORPHANAGE so the gloves he always wears that ranpo got him? compression gloves!!! i will DIE on that hill!!!

kenji also gets compression gloves bc of his tics <333

atsushi and jun have hooked up at LEAST once. probably more.

hirotsu and yosano have chronic migraines

lucy is a t.aylor s.wift fan (s/o to grace for that one lol)

kunikida has ocd and undiagnosed adhd

poe, akutagawa, and jun'ichirou are lowkey theatre kids. also jouno.

no but jun'ichirou is an AMAZING actor, so more often than not, he's the one who gets sent on undercover missions

dazai has to frequently remind kunikida that yes, he's older than atsushi, jun, kenji, kyouka, and naomi, he's just barely an adult, too. he's still super young. cue a a kunikida breakdown. like genuinely.

#louie tag #okay i had more but then tumblr said i had too much ummmm #iuygtfrdftgyhuji #HI LOUIE THANK YOU SO MUCH #i had a lot of fun!!!#sorry most of these are kenji related or are related to not as popular characters iuhgyfcdgyhuij #the compression gloves one reminded me to get my own GOD my hands hurt i hate ts ugh #anyways i didn't get to finish the last one but the first time dazai tells kunikida that he's still young too kunikida has an anxiety attac #i also want to add that ango has MAJOR sensory issues especially regarding touch i just... didn't get to add that :(#also fighting his ability during dead apple really messed jun's throat up for a bit #oKAY DONE NOW #thank you this was fun!#bsd #corey rambles:)

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