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ssa-dg · 3 years

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Undercover Part 1

part 1, part 2

Overview: the BAU has gone undercover to find a potential unsub who has been drugging, raping and murdering women. It own becomes a potential victim. Having to play her part to catch the bad guy, you go to the party all dressed up and dance with a potential murderer all while pretending he is someone else, Spencer Reid.

TW: drugs, rape (it is mentioned how the unsub rapes his victims. the reader is drugged and the unsub takes advantage of her being drugged and begins to take off her dress), murder, sex, adult themes. if these types of things are triggering for you please don’t read. I’m just a average person who tried their best to not cause people to be upset. If this is problematic I’m sorry I didn’t mean for it to be and will take it down.

Relationship: Spencer Reid x (female)reader

word count: 3,384

Author’s note: so this is my first ever Criminal Minds story. If it garners enough attention I will do more parts (honestly even if it doesn’t I probably will lol) PSA: I have never been under the influence of MDMA and honestly I don’t judge if people who do it consensually and safely (which is harder said then done). this is how I imagine it to be like to be on it. Also I like writing and I like sharing my writing because all of the great fan fics that cause me happiness, if I can cause that reaction just to one person that’s enough for me

You would do anything to save the world. Maybe it was a hero complex, maybe it was some form of glory seeking, or maybe it was the only way you knew how to fill the dark abyss you felt when you did nothing of importance. Being a part of the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit, helped with that. Being on the team gave you everything you needed, a family and a way to save others. Maybe saying you love your job isn’t the correct way to explain your emotions but you knew no better way. Although you wish a job like this wasn’t necessary and didn’t even exist, it did.

Your team meant the world to you and you would contribute almost in any way to help find an unknown subject. So when Penelope Garcia was able to connect the killings in New York City to some private “rich people” clubs, her and the team created a plan to infiltrate.

The victimology was specific. It was all rich young women ranging from the ages 19-30 who just moved into the city to find themselves.

The profile was an easy one to figure out. He was obviously a troubled young white male who was probably an heir of some sort. He was richer than what most people think is rich. He usually meets the victim at a high society social event. Then he’d take them to a more exclusive social event. After that he would drug them with MDMA, rape and kill them.

It was hard for the BAU to get much out of the enclosed and tight group of New York’s most elite families. So going undercover at an event where the unsub could potentially hunt for prey was what made most sense. Your jobs was to observe the women and men there and try to see if any of you could fish out the unsub.

They had done it in the past but usually they did their best work by watching and observing. So here the team was, their second night in a row all dolled up in fancy cocktail dresses at some art gallery. Tara Lewis and Luke Alves stood around a table pretending to talk to each other as they observed potential victims. Jennifer Jareau, Spencer Reid, and Matt Simmons stood at another end of the room checking for the potential unsub, while your unit chief, Emily Prentiss, and you were pretending to be alone at the event eavesdropping on rich families. You listened to those around you while also scanning the room looking for potential young white men talking to lone young women. “Ten o’clock to the creepy face painting,” you heard Alvez say in your small earpiece. You calmly turned pretending to look at the other art pieces and saw a white male in his mid-thirties walking up to a female. He placed his hand on her low back as he leaned in to talk to her. Emily being the closest nearby out of you two, moved closer acting like she was going for some hors d’oeuvres. “That’s not him. He’s too drunk. I can smell all the alcohol he has consumed. He would need to be smoother than that,” Emily whispered as she took a sip of her glass. That’s how most of the night went. We followed and stared at people who might be the unsub and then filed them out. You felt yourself losing hope. You hated this part of the job. The one that made you feel like the profile was wrong and you all would have to start over, which there was never time to start over. Someone could die. That’s when you felt a hand touch the small of your back, your body tensed up immediately. “Relax,” he whispered in your ear. But you didn’t need to force it, because when you turned to look at the person who touched you, you were met with the face of beauty and your body instantly relaxed. You knew this was a dangerous reaction, as would probably many of Ted Bundy’s victims.

The man before you had slicked back short dark hair, bright blue eyes, strong symmetry in his facial features, and strong cheek and jaw bones. He smiled wickedly at you, causing you to intake a sharp breath. It was so sinister but also so beautiful. It wasn’t the most beautiful smile you’d ever seen, no that was reserved for your teammate, best friend, and love of your life (even if he didn’t know it) Spencer Reid. Now, Spencer’s smile was one you could get lost in. You refocused yourself to the beautiful man in front of you. “They say the artist intended for this particular piece to show trauma while he was drinking. His other pieces are other emotions on different drugs,” his deep voice rattled through your ears. You wanted to unwrap yourself from this man’s embrace. How dare he touch you like that without your permission. “Play along,” Luke spoke as he saw a scowl beginning to form on your lips, “he could be the unsub.” You smoothed the scowl into a smile. “It doesn’t look like it depicts trauma,” you responded dumbly. The man before you cocked his head to the side giving you a lopsided smile. “I guess it all depends on how someone experiences trauma,” the smile now wicked, and scarier. A shiver went up your spine. “Are you cold?” He asked, noticing it, while looking you up and down like he could devour you. “No,” your voice came out scratchy as your throat went dry. You cleared it politely. “Just thinking-” “About your own trauma?” He asked. You could hear the fake tone of concern. That snapped you out of your fear. The pictures of all the murdered women that brought the BAU to this case flashed before your eyes. “Maybe,” the smile you plastered on your face was a one you knew he wanted, a sad smile. You were going to play this role like it’s no one's business because you were here to catch a bad guy and if flirting with a creep got you there then so be it. He leaned in closer to your ear, “my name is Alistair Constantine,” you immediately recognized the name. It was on the list of potential unsubs for the profile. His family’s money was old, going back to the revolutionary war. The family seemed to always be updating with the times and never losing that money. You leaned into his other ear and introduced yourself.

Spencer’s hands were clutched at his side as he watched you interact with the Constantine boy. He felt in his gut at this moment, Alastair was the unsub. The way he was looking at you, it was like you were a quest to conquer. Spencer knew he couldn’t just come up, break you two apart and blow the whole investigation but boy did he want to.

Alastair paraded you around the room. Every now and then he would talk to fellow members of the society. It took everything in you to pretend that you didn’t want to beat his ass right then and there. You were always an imaginative kid growing up so you blocked out the gruesome pictures of the crime scenes and instead pretended this was your life a young New York woman getting special treatment from a handsome man. It was easier to fit the rom-com role then what was actually happening. Alistair stopped in front of a painting that was particularly psychedelic looking with bright pastel colors. “This is my favorite piece by the artist. This was when he was on Ecstasy. Look at the happiness and distorted-ness to the art. It’s amazing,” he gushed. It would have been odd that he picked this particular painting to attach too, but it was a strong tie to the method of his killings. “Humankind cannot bear very much of reality,” you spoke out, breaking Spencer from his thoughts about if they had enough information to convict Alistair for the murders. Alistair looked at you funny, not understanding why you would say that. “T. S. Eliot” you told Alistair while Spencer whispered it at the same time. a ghost of a smile playing on your lips when you heard Spencer’s voice. “It’s what I think of when I look at this art. T. S. Eliot is one of my favorite poets,” you blushed at your admission. It felt like for a second, with having just heard Spencer’s voice, that you were talking to him instead of Alistair. Spencer was now looking straight at you two. His eyes held bewilderment, he has known you for years and you never once mentioned this, and he knew you knew this was something he cared about.

“Indeed,” Alistair yawned.

The next 30 minutes was you telling him how you’d grown up in Boston, Massachusetts, that you had no close relatives anymore, and how when your parents died their life savings all went to you (all of it true), the lie came when it was to talk about why you moved to New York City, what you wanted to do with your life etc. And he ate it up every second. You played the roll of being the lonely damsel in a big city trying to find the answer to life. You were his ideal victim and you knew that he didn’t even question how perfect you were.

The night ended with an invite to the society’s ball tomorrow night, and Prentiss fed your ear a fake address for Alistair to send a car to tomorrow. You ordered an Uber to the address where Emily said they’ll pick you up to not seem suspicious in case Alistair sent someone to follow you. Once at the address the FBI’s SUV pulled up and you got in. It was Spencer who picked you up, which was unusual, as he never liked driving. You climbed onto the passenger seat and saw his knuckles were white from the strength of his grip on the steering wheel. It didn’t take a profiler to know Spencer was mad. “Spencer, are you alright?” You approached with a soft whisper. There was a pause of silence, Spencer calculating if he should be honest. He eventually gave into the truth as he knew that he couldn’t hide it from you. “No,” he growled, the anger in his voice causing you to jump in surprise. “No, I am not okay. That man is a murderer and he was holding you in his arm! You two were practically dancing around the room in there. We have put you in danger and now, now you are his next target, his next victim!” he hit the wheel in anger. You had never seen Spencer this angry before. Most times when Spencer got angry, he got smart and he used his logic to fight but now he sounded emotional. “Spencer,” you raised your voice, “I am not a victim, I’m an agent. I will do what it takes to protect others. Just like you.” In anger Spencer swerved the car to the side and put it in park. “Dammit, You don’t get it,” he yelled and turned towards you. “If he is our unsub, which we both know he is, I’ve run the calculations and the risk is too high for you,” his hands flying everywhere in gestures, “There are too many dependent variables. There isn’t enough for us to control. The probability of you getting hurt or,” he stopped to collect himself, and in a quieter voice said, “or worse, it’s too high. I’ve run the math.” Now that sounded more like the Spencer you knew. A soft smile crept onto your lips, then you quickly neutralized your face, in hopes he wouldn’t see the way his concern for you made you feel. And You couldn’t do that to yourself. You couldn’t let yourself feel happiness when Spencer showed you affection, because it eventually just leads to heart break. Subconsciously, you turned more towards him in your seat, “In your math is there probability that we get this guy and he never gets the opportunity to hurt another woman again?” You asked. Spencer gave you a pained look like he knew where you were going. You countered that look with one that told him to answer the question. He let out a heavy sigh, “yes. There is that possibility.” You smiled at him knowing you won the argument, “That settles it then.”

With everyone back in the small conference room at the police station, the conversation began about what to do tomorrow. No one was pleased that one of their own is now the target but there was truth that the situation was now more in the BAU’s control than before. Everyone also believed in you. They knew the risk and that scared them but also you are a Special Advisory Agent for a reason. Relief did not fill you but neither did dread, when you thought of the plan. You were doing the right thing. It didn’t matter if you were going to put yourself in danger.

Spencer kept pressing the heel of his hands into his eyes. Something that happened when he started to get headaches and you could guess this headache was caused by stress. As the rest of the team started packing up, you stared at your best friend hurting over the stress you were causing. You took a seat next to Spencer. He was still wearing his suit from the party. “We are going to be okay tomorrow,” you comforted him. He looked up at you, “I’m not worried about all of us, I’m worried about you,” he confessed. Once again, you knew these words shouldn’t have an effect on you like they did, but it did and this time there was something that felt hidden behind those words, something more. “I trust you not to let anything happen to me,” You countered and placed your hand on his forearm to comfort him. You looked in his eyes and tried to let him know that there is more than just trust there.

The day of the ball, you got ready in the police station bathroom. It wasn’t exactly how you imagined to be getting ready for your first ball in New York City. You’d rather be wearing this gown for other reasons than going undercover to catch a murderer rapist. The Givenchy dress Garcia picked out was gorgeous (as you instructed her to get a designer to fit in the crowd and you would float the bill). It was a long evening dress in blue and green with a gradient-effect. The top had long puffed sleeves, deep V-neckline, and waist accentuated with smooth lamé and long flared skirt. You put your hair up in a loose low bun. The makeup you did was a smooth eye with long flair eyeliner. You put a heavy amount of glow highlighter on your cheek bones and collar bones to accentuate the deep v cut the dress.

You felt ridiculous walking out of the bathroom into the police station wearing your dress. But the way Spencer looked at you was something powerful and intoxicating, making you forget your embarrassment. You strode up to him. A small smile played on your lips looking up at him. You saw him also smiling at you “You’re almost as tall as me,” he blurted out. You let out a small laugh, “‘I guess that’s what heels will do,” you smiled looking down at your feet. Spencer felt ridiculous that’s what he said. He should have told you how amazing you looked or how your beauty felt like the sun- always pulling him in and having his thoughts orbit around you. But he wasn’t good with voicing his feelings (especially in a room with his colleagues).

“We are going to have Officer Melinda Jackson drive you over to the apartment, And stake out the car. She’ll be on the radio the whole time till you are in range with us. We will be at the Capitale when you get there.” Emily disclosed as she strapped on a microphone and earpiece.

You stepped out of the car with your head held high even though your anxiety was on another level. “i’m here,” you whispered. “We are here too,” Tara responded. Everyone disclosed where each one was to you. The venue was massive and beautiful. The ceiling was tall with ornate decorations. The lighting was a bright orangish glow. As you examined the room, checking each point of your team, you also saw Alistair. He was at the bar with what looked like to be a group of his friends. Spencer not too far behind them. You walked towards Alistair but kept your eyes on Spencer. He took your breath away dressed in a tux and his hair slicked back like he used to when he was younger. It felt like your heart was lit on fire just by looking at him all dressed up. He was staring at you intensely. It wasn’t that the world stopped the moment your eyes met his, but it was more like everything else just didn’t matter. You knew you’d have to look away soon to not give away anything but you took him in for just one more second. “You look amazing,” you heard a voice next to you say. You turned to see the ever good looking Alistair. He wore a navy 3 piece suite with a large Gucci tag on the sleeve, and a large Gucci flower pinned on his chest. You gave him a soft smile and returned his compliment. “I want to introduce you to my family. Their approval means everything,” he offered you his arm. You took it tentatively, Spencer watched him lead you away, and he pondered on Alistair’s odd statement about family approval.

Alistair’s family was everything you’d expect. They were proper and pompous. However they liked you, a lot. You fell right into the role you had to play. You stood there laughing and engaged in the conversation with his mom and cousin.

“Shall we dance?” Alistair asked, giving you his hand, as your conversation with his sister came to an end. You nodded and let him take you to the dance floor.

He spun you out and brought you back in close to start the dancing. You gave him a bright smile at his eccentric action. You closed your eyes and let your mind pretend it was Spencer holding you. You followed his lead as he twirled you both around the dance floor. “Stop dancing, we can’t see you,” Spencer frantically said into your ear piece. You snapped your eyes open. Taking in that you were on a secluded corner of the dance floor by an exit door. “You are special. My family, They like you” Alistair said with a sense of manic to it. “you aren’t like the others,” he admitted. His voice sounded different. It was sinister with a tinge of adoration. He pulled you close, so close that his fingers dug into your hand and back. You felt like your brain was freezing up in fear. How many times had you been in fear inducing situations and why did your brain pick now to not work. “you’re hurting me,” you groaned trying to pull yourself away. “Where are you” JJ yelled but then you felt mist hit you, and your mind begin to make things fuzzy, “the left corner, the spray…in the flower,” you breathed out, hoping the team could hear you. You heard a rattle of commands to your co-workers from Emily. Then it went black.

Spencer rushed through the crowd to find you but by the time he got to the corner you told him you were at, you were gone. “She’s not here,” Spencer panicked into the ear piece. “I just saw a black Tesla leave, license plate delta, alpha, hotel nine, one, two ” Luke informed them. “Call and ask them to run it”, Rossi said urgently. “on it,” Luke replied. “JJ and Reid, go talk to the mom and sister, Tara and Matt split up and talk to his friends and the other family members. They have to know where they are,” Emily demanded

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #emily prentiss #david rossi #matt simmons #Penelope Garcia #criminal minds fic #luke alvez #jennifer jareau #tara lewis #criminal minds fanfiction #ssa-dg #spencer reid x you #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds imagine

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leverage-ot3 · 4 years

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notable moments from The Bank Shot Job

leverage 1.05

I decided I’m also going to start highlighting meta material in these posts for reference reasons (like for fics, headcanons, meta, etc)

I’m colorcoading by what character the meta pertains to btw

Clerk: Hello, Judge Roy.

Judge Roy: [slaps her ass] Hey, sweetheart.

Frank: Can I help you, your honor?

Judge Roy: Yes, Fred. Her phone number?

Frank: It's Frank. And she's 19, sir.

Judge Roy: That's too bad. She got a younger sister

diSgUsTiNG

- - - - -

Hardison: No. No more. We gotta talk to Nate. No more rip deals. They take too damn long.

Parker (ripping paper): That's why they're called "Rip Deals". You have to convince them they're getting a deal before you can rip them off.

Hardison: Two weeks. Two weeks sleeping in crappy hotels. Two weeks eating in crappy diners. Two weeks having my soul sucked dry. It's 107 degrees. Who lives where it's 107 degrees?

Parker: Juan's not so bad. I kinda like this town

I wanna see that domestic shit of them sharing hotel rooms and eating the continental breakfasts and dingy diners and everything about them living in rundown hotels for two weeks

- - - - -

Hardison: You know, I had to retask two satellites just to get a lousy internet connection. Took more than an hour to torrent the last episode of Doctor Who.

Parker: Hey! Illegal downloading's wrong. (lights paper on fire in trash can)

that’s it. that’s their relationship.

- - - - -

Hardison: How we coming on the breakdown?

Eliot (loading truck elsewhere): Fake addresses are shut down. Post office boxes are closed. The phones are cleared. Five more minutes, we never existed

bruh those props ??? I wish I had a screenshot but wtf where they DOING for the con ???

- - - - -

Hardison: Want me to call the Delgado family, tell them the news?

Eliot: Nah. Soon as I clear county line I want to do it. I just wish we could do more than bankrupt that corrupt son of a bitch

eliot is so good you guys im-

- - - - -

Nate: Get out. Now.

Hardison: Is he talking to us?

Parker: An unmarked van parked across the street from a bank that's being robbed? Yeah. I think he's talking to us.

Hardison: Yeah, well, five more feet and he would have been in the clear. What the hell was he thinking?

Parker: Don't be an idiot, Hardison.

Hardison: What?

Parker: Sophie was still in there

parker knows nate loves sophie and would never leave her behind because she may not always get people, but even she can see how much nate cares for sophie

- - - - -

Derrick: Everyone empty your pockets. Wallets, purses, watches, everything you've got, throw it over here.

(everyone throwing stuff to center of floor)

nate threw his fucking toothpick

- - - - -

Deputy Arnold: No, right here, right here, and we need ...

(Eliot crosses police line)

Deputy Arnold: Whoa, whoa, I need you to take a step back, sir.

Eliot: Tell me what's going on in there.

Deputy Arnold: I'm afraid I can't do that, this is an active crime scene, and you need to ...

Eliot: (to cop) I'm not talking to you. (to Nate) How many are there?

Nate: Yeah, you're right. Clearly amateurs, these two. Yeah. The younger one, looks like he's never handled a gun before.

Eliot: Is judge blow-hard next to you?

Nate: Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, definitely amateurs, That's what makes them so dangerous.

Eliot: Alright, 2 guys, both armed, neither one a criminal mastermind. You want me in there?

Deputy Arnold: Sir, we can't have you going inside the bank ...

Nate: Probably, uh, a good idea just to sit tight, don't you think? You know, and see where these guys' heads are

at, you know?

Eliot (backing away): Alright, your call boss.

Deputy Arnold: Thank you

poor deputy arnold + eliot being done with local law enforcement

- - - - -

Sophie: Okay. So what is the plan, Stan

“what’s the plan, stan” adorable.

- - - - -

(Eliot leans against a building across the street and watches Hardison and Parker pull up in a sedan)

Eliot: Nice ride.

Parker (taking notebook and removing badges): It's embarrassing. Everyone knows you don't rob a bank without an exit strategy. These two deserve to get caught. 42 seconds. (tosses notebook back to Eliot)

Hardison: What?

Parker: To rob this bank. One security guard who has never fired his gun before, 2 closed-circiut cameras outside, 1 inside, and a Glen-Reader safe built in the 50's whose default combination is the birth date of the manager's wife! Get in, get out, 42 seconds.

Hardison: Seriously

parker was so angry that she chucked the binder at eliot and he was like ??? we good ???

- - - - -

Hardison: Seriously? (to Bill) I'm Agent Leonard. This is Agent Elmore. We'll be taking over this crime scene,

Sheriff ...

Bill: Bill Hastings. Nice to meet you. You guys sure are quick, just called this in 20 minutes ago.

Hardison: Well, we were coming back from a little border skirmish. Patrol unit came under attack from a pack of Chupacabras.

Bill: Chupacabras? I thought those things were urban legend.

Hardison: You're adorable

I love it when hardison fucks with people it’s hilarious

- - - - -

Hardison: Whoa, what's going on?

Bill: Cut power to the bank. Standard operating procedure.

Hardison: Standard ... it's standard op ... it's standard? Where do you getting that bull-hockey from son?

Bill: Deputy Arnold, he took a seminar in crisis management last year.

Deputy Arnold: It was an online seminar. We got certificates.

Hardison: Certificates? Magic kits come with certificates. Does that make it cool for kids to saw their parents in half?

Bill: We're just going by the book.

Hardison: The ... the book? The book got a good man killed. I can't ... my blood pressure.

Parker: Ex-partner. Probably shouldn't mention the book again. Or propellers.

parker is doing so well with grifting considering and I’m so proud of her

- - - - -

Sophie: They are not cops, I promise you, they're friends of mine, you can trust them.

Derrick: Why should I trust you? I don't know who you are.

Sophie: I am a thief.

Derrick: Okay, I'm not sure what to do with that.

that’s it guys. that’s the show.

- - - - -

Nate: I didn't say it was going to be easy. But nothing's impossible, especially when you have the world's greatest thief on your payroll. Parker, have you ever robbed a bank that's being robbed?

Parker: There's a first time for everything.

her SMILE YOUR HONOR

- - - - -

Parker: The bank was built before 1980, before computers. Means it's got a larger than normal night deposit chute.

Hardison: 'Cause business had to drop off ledgers with their daily hauls. What, you thought my genius was only limited to ones and zeroes?

Parker: I'm thinking the chute's my way in. Only problem is, it's in the alley on this side of the building

the way she looks at hardison like damn boy you know my stuff

- - - - -

Hardison: I can take care of that, but, we actually have bigger problems.

Eliot: What's that?

Hardison: Well, Sheriff Coltrane over here called the FBI, the real FBI. Now the closes office is in San Diego, so they should be here, in about, um, give it 45 minutes.

Nate: We can't worry about that now.

Hardison: When do we worry about it?

Nate: In about 45 minutes

hardison, internally: lord give me strength

- - - - -

Hardison: Hold on ... Excuse me. (answers phone) Agent Leonard. We will do whatever you need us to do, just please, don't hurt anybody. Okay. (hangs up) Guys ... Boys, boys, come on, gather 'round. Now boys, that was THE call. The call we were waiting for. Now look, they have a list of demands. First off, they want 12 large pizzas. One cheese, one Hawaiian, extra pineapple. Two pepperoni and black olives, two meat lover's, t ... Seriously? Nobody's writing this down? Seriously? One triple-shot half-caf vanilla latte, tall,

(Parker goes down alley and opens deposit drop box)

Hardison: …three of the latest copies of the Hall and Oates CD. I know, right? Exciting stuff I didn't know they were coming out with a new one either. We're gonna need steaks. Steaks and a grill. They're trying to tailgate. Okay, they need your overalls, I don't know why. They need some kibbles n' bits, we need an Etch-A-Sketch, somebody in there likes to squiggle okay ... Are we good? Let's go people. Everybody. I need you guys moving. Everybody get out. Go. (hardison points at an officer) You stay. We need to talk about Hall & Oates.

I fucking loved this monologue,,, hardison is VERY GOOD at improvising

- - - - -

(Derrick opens night deposit box)

Parker: Hi.

Derrick (hands her the briefcase): There's a lot of money in there.

Parker: Yeah, I know.

Derrick: My wife's life depends on that money getting where it needs to go.

Parker: I understand. Sometimes bad guys are the only good guys you get

parker’s face softened and you can see that she understood. parker didn’t get people in the beginning of the show, and sure her values and ideas aren’t typical, but she was ALWAYS a good person. she cared and understood what was at risk and she consoled him.

also, this is yet another piece of evidence that parker was the main character all along!!! I’m not gonna go super into it because there are already posts out there about it, but she had three (3) episodes dedicated to her character in season one alone AND had her say what is basically the mission statement of the show here in this scene

- - - - -

Sophie: Things could be worse.

Nate: Worse than me getting shot and you blowing our cover?

Sophie: No, no, you're not gonna lay that crap on me. We wouldn't even be in this mess if you'd just walked out with the cash when you had the chance. I would've been fine.

Nate: I know.

Sophie: Yeah, I can take care of myself. I've been doing it a long time. Since way before I met you. I'm just saying.

Nate: Yeah, you're right.

Sophie: Okay

nate knows sophie is a strong independent woman and that is one of the only things I stan about him lol

- - - - -

Sophie: We lost communication.

Nate: Yeah, we did.

Sophie: Hardison, Parker, and Eliot ...

Nate: That's right, they are on their own. Yup.

they ended up doing great on their own, but also, can we acknowledge what a glow up it was building up to the rundown job ???

- - - - -

(Mom gets out of truck and tries to run)

Meth #2: Where the hell you think you're going, old lady? (pulls mom back) Where the hell you think you're g ...

Eliot (catches Meth #2’s arm): Hey, what smells like crank and screams like a girl? (Takes his gun and breaks his knee)

Meth #2: AAHH!

Eliot (kicks car door closed before Meth #3 can get out, empties the bullets from gun): That's the right answer. (throws gun into car at #3, hits #1 as he approaches) Come on. (fights #1, kicks door shut, beats #1 more, kicks door again) Stay in the car. (beats the hell out of #3 and #1, kneels down near mom and removes her gag)

Mom: Who are you?

Eliot: Well ma'am, we'd be the cavalry.

this entire fight scene always has me ROLLING it’s so funny

also I’m not sure if this should go on the List Of Non-Weapon Objects Eliot Uses As Weapons but eliot DID use the car door in the fight

- - - - -

Sophie: Just let the paramedics take him. The rest of us will stay.

Judge Roy: And give up my leverage

*sophie and nate look at each other*

both, internally: tHATS OUR WORD

- - - - -

Nate: Hey, listen. She's gonna be alright. Everything's gonna be alright

Derrick: Your people ... they're good?

Nate: Yeah. The best.

nate’s smile when he says that??? proud dad alert

- - - - -

Sophie (looking at replay of tape): You're still a geek.

Judge Roy: They're trying to ruin me.

Hardison: Geek power, baby. Stay strong!

in other words: age of the geek, baby

also- kudos to 2008 hardison editing video like that. I can’t do that shit with today’s tech lmao

- - - - -

Bill: Go home now. Bank robbers are in custody, hostages are safe. FBI's got the whole thing wrapped up.

Taggert: Do you have any idea what?

Mcsweeten: Just go with it.

Deputy Arnold: Mr. FBI guys, can you help me here?

Bill: My, my. Look at this. Our local drug boys, both with outstanding warrants. It's incredible.

Taggert: Damn, we're good!

mcsweeten and taggert stumbling onto the leverage crew’s cons and directly profiting off of them is iconic. they have no idea. too pure for this world

- - - - -

Sophie: Hey, thanks Parker.

Parker: Whatever.

Sophie: No. It was an excellent performance.

Parker: Yeah, I think I can act okay when I'm yelling at people and bossing them around.

Sophie: Well, it's a good start.

proud mom!sophie + grifting parker

Nate: Listen, we have to make sure we get the cash to the Delgado family. Ow!

Eliot (tending Nate’s wound): Oh! Settle down. You act like you've never been shot before.

Nate (glances at Sophie): So, uh, pizza boxes, huh?

Hardison: Yeah, I know, I know, You could have done better.

Nate: No, no, no. No I couldn't have.

eliot casually stitching up nate’s wound bc no hospitals but also can we talk about how much nate has to trust eliot to literally operate on him

nate giving praise to hardison ??? rare af I don’t know her

#leverage #the bank shot job #leverage 1.05 #leverage 1x05 #mine #notable moments #leverage season 1 #season 1

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chroniclesinlacuna · 3 years

Note

c, o, s, and t?😊

thank you friend!

C: What character do you identify with most?

That's not an OC? Eliot Spencer from Leverage! That's the character that got me writing again and he's just. Really easy to get into the head of! He's also the reason any vaguely similar characters are easier to write whoops.

O: How do you begin a story–with the plot, or the characters?

Depends on the type of story I guess? Like - more often than not, characters, and I enjoy messing around with character interaction ideas that then develop into plots. But I do also have a couple plots on backburner waiting for the right characters! The latter tends to be longer story ideas.

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

Idiots to lovers, slowburn friends to lovers, 'I don't care what we are as long as we're here together', sunshine x grump but both damaged.....etc. lol

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

ABO (kudos to those that can write it! Just not my thing), arranged marriage, major character death (does that count?)

#thank you!! 💛#about me #I can't escape leverage okay I still love it lol

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fialleril · 5 years

Text

A couple people expressed interest in the origins of some of my more poetic tags. Pretty much all of my most poetic tags are used for photo reblogs, so here’s an attempt at a tag list I use for photos:

black holes and revelations: my tag for mystical things. From Muse’s song “Starlight,” aka probably my fave song of all time if I had to pick just one.

go go go said the bird and humankind cannot bear very much reality: my tags for images that spark something too deep for words. From T. S. Eliot’s Four Quartets, specifically “Burnt Norton.” You can read them here.

a light on the water: a tag for exactly what it sounds like. From Lord of the Rings.

winter dark and solar fire: my tag for arctic climes, particularly in times of total darkness or midnight sun. This one is actually original to me!

produced by void and fire: another tag for mystical, immense kind of images. From Maggie Nelson’s Bluets. The full line is, “The part I do remember: that the blue of the sky depends on the darkness of empty space behind it. As one optics journal puts it, "The color of any planetary atmosphere viewed against the black of space and illuminated by a sunlike star will also be blue." In which case blue is something of an ecstatic accident produced by void and fire.”

i said to the almond tree speak to me of god: tag for flowering trees, because I’m creative lol. From a quote from Nikos Kazantzakis. The full line is, “I said to the almond tree: "Speak to me of God." and the almond tree blossomed.”

the bleak edge of the known world: my tag for dark wild cliffs above stormy seas. Another one original to me. :)

pining for the fjords: another tag for northern climes, but most specifically Iceland, the Faroes, and Norway, because I basically always wish I was back in Iceland. From Monty Python lol.

and a river runs through it: tag for rivers, of course. From A River Runs Through It by Norman Maclean, which is far more gorgeous and profound a book than any novel about fly fishing has any right to be.

woods and fields and little rivers: aka my ongoing hobbit aesthetic tag, for simple quiet everyday beautiful places. From Lord of the Rings :)

the margin of infinity: my tag for the ocean. Another one I came up with myself.

the desert in the garden the garden in the desert: my tag for desert plants and blooming, growing desert spaces. Another one from T. S. Eliot, this line comes from Ash Wednesday, possibly my favorite poem of all time. You can read it here.

the mountains are burning: a tag for mountains in “golden hour” light. Another one I made up myself.

the road goes ever on and on: a tag for roads, tracks, paths, and byways. From Lord of the Rings, of course.

mountains beyond mountains: my general mountains tag. This is a line I vaguely remember from a hymn in my childhood, but for the life of me I can’t find the hymn anywhere.

in cathedrals of the forest: a tag for sacred woodland spaces. From Loreena McKennitt’s song “Night Ride Across the Caucasus.”

Edit: forgot my favorite one, lol:

the endless sky and the quiet desolation of space: tag for big sky country, in particular the wide open spaces of the American midwest. This one is also original to me.

#blogkeeping #tag list #there's no real order to this lol #i just went back through all my photo posts and listed the tags in the order i saw them #we're extremely methodical here at fialleril dot tumblr dot com

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ain-t-bovvered · 5 years

Text

14x13 (300th) Commentary

Special episode where a bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

Hello and welcome:

@purpleskiesandcherrypies (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon (Kat)

@waywardbaby (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered (Giu)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

“Dad’s on a hunting trip-

[shuts laptop]

Giu: It’s already a no from me

uuugh ok [opens laptop]

“-and he hasn’t been home in a few days “

Zee: That’s when I fell in love

Kat : I fell in love at “easy tiger”

Nat: He looks like a demon

Giu: he does

sign under the register: your baby daddy sitting in jail? Sell your gold and get bail.

wow.

S: we are looking for the good stuff.

me searching for men

Kat : I need that wad of money, And the man attached to it

Giu: SAM

Zee : So done

Nat: Dean's done

Kat : That was so Jared lol

D.”No you didn’t”

Kat: Oh shit Dean. All sexy business

Giu: They not happy

Kat : FIRE

Giu: NOT THE HAIR NOT THE HAIR

[pauses video] TUMMY! [presses play again]

Giu: HE’S A BIG BOY

Zee : Turn his back to dean?

Nat&Kat: They always talk too much

Nat: he stole my line

Nat: PLAGIARISM

Nat: don't put that in

Giu: I’m gonna put that in

Nat: no

The smoke coming out the gun tho. I love that gun.

Zee : Put that down dean

Giu: Dean don’t touch things

In what goddamn dystopian fantasy a theater in 2019 show Beetlejuice? because I wanna live there.

Giu: I want that jacket. Doesn’t it look like the family business jacket?

Zee : I want that car,with everything in it

Giu: ...AND ON IT

Nat: I want that man

Giu: lol it’s like the Winchesters are some sort of the mean girls of town.

The Campbell brothers are scary. They have two shotguns and a strange silver blade.

I hear the tall one hair's insured for $.

I hear the other one has a tinder account. His favorite music can be heard from miles before coming into town.

One time, they met god. And he stayed at their house. One time, they killed Hitler. It was awesome.

Kat : I WANT THE MEN

-” The Campbell brothers “ [sobs]

D:”Make it double”

Oh look the Family Business stuff again

S:” John Wayne Gacy cigar box”

uh that’s not good.

“Jack and Cass are out with Jules and her crew. When they’re back they can help us cataloging “ [already excited]

D:” aWeSoME”

- “Where did they even came from? them or their weird sidekick with the trench coat”

I love how before the boy Eliot talked about hearing stuff from the trunk of the car and I did not even bat an eye, because.....yeah...probably happened more than once.

Giu&Kat: Dumb bambi look

- Max:” It doesn’t mean they kidnapped bigfoot or whatever “

that could have happened too .

How did I miss all this gay vibes between the girls before?

Giu: anyway that is unrealistic, those girls would be drooling after those two.

Nat: Nah, they're too old for them

me at myself editing the commentary: they lesbian, bitch .

Nat: Max is trouble, isn't she

Kat: Don’t touch my baby’s car teen bitch

Zee : Why is sam so hot here?

Nat: BABY

- D;” No,no, no, no”

Zee : Oh the bitch did

Giu: THEY DED

Giu: DON T MOVE YESSIR

-S *thinks of the kids*

D: “Swear to God if anything happens to that car-” *thinks murder*

Giu: Meanwhile dean is having panic attacks

Nat&Giu&Kat: I don't wanna die. lol

Giu: TRIPLE PLAGIARISM

Kat: Stop Omg

Nat: We should stop

Zee : Look at those puppy eyes

- “So you want me to give you an underage girl’s address?”

Nat: hahahahahahhahahahahaha i like that woman

D:”Marta, how’s that grandson of yours?”

“if you could help us out I would, I would really appreciate it”

“Please”

Zee : I’d melt

Kat: THAT TAP

Nat: I mean...helloooooo

Giu: There goes her values

Nat: I would tell him everything and more

Zee : Giuls the hand gif. Please and thank you

- you want my address too?

Kat: He’s putting the moves

Kat: Their lips are extra pink

-Yeah but like...I would have melt with Sam too honestly.

SKIP DAY! aaaah the memories, we had skip days once a month.

Giu: OH NO

Zee : They dumb

Giu: i wouldn’t touch that creepy fuck teddy bears

Giu: can I slap some sense in those bitches

Giu: GACY FUCK NO

Nat: Baby, please tell me you're not hurt

Kat: BABY BABY

D: “ FBI everybody out”

me : ....arrest me.

Giu: Sam: no fuck clown

Kat: Serial killer clown

Nat: Sammy, I think you need to get away

Kat: Best and worst thing ever

- D:” ‘Cause you love serial killers but you hate clowns”

eh same .

Zee : look how happy he is

D:” Sam....today”

Kat: HURRRY UP SAMMEH

D: “....Hey! “

Nat: Dean Bean

Kat: Adorable bean

Zee: We’re damn good at why we do

Nat: They're going all dad on them

Kat: It’s hot

- S:” You sure don’t wanna call Mom here? or Cass?”

D:” No because if it works , great, if not, why get their hopes up?”

Zee : Hello

Nat: JOHN

Kat: SHIT SHIT. SHIT Kicking their asses lol

Giu: My eyes are sweating

Nat: I got Negan vibes lol

? : “Don’t you move”

[chills]

Zee : That’s another Daddy

Giu: HE LOOKS GOOD

J: “What in the hell”

J: “Sammy, aren’t you supposed to be in Palo Alto?”

Nat: Palo Alto. Oh god.

Giu: Good god [sobs]

J: “What happened to you?” when did you stretch like that

Nat: It's 2003

Kat: It’s very difficult

J:”You saved the world?”

Zee : More than once

Giu: We died....more than once

Zee : Look at that precious face

D:”I think he’d be real happy to know you are finally here”

- Glad they mentioned Henry, I miss him.

S:” We are legacies because of you”

J.” I just wish that I had been there to see it”

Nat: Awww the look on Sammy

Nat: It fucking breaks my heart alright

D:”Non of this would have happened without you”

J:” It’s good, it’s fine. I went out taking out yellow eyes. That was the point. Get the thing that killed Mom”

Giu: im not ready for what.’s coming

Zee : Me neither

Kat: So much sobbing

Nat: What are you talking about. I'm not ready for the whole damn episode

Giu: STOP WITH THE MUSIC

Zee : Brace yourselves

- J [desperately softly]:” ...Mary?”

Giu: OH NO FUCKING JDM

Nat: Oh god NO

Zee : Oh fuck you

Giu: FUCK MY LIFE. FREAKING ACTING SKILLS.

Nat: FUCK OFF

Zee : IM SCREAMING HERE

Nat: THE BOYS...lol

D:” I’m freaking out”

No Dean, I’m freaking out. And I already know, looking at Sam face, what’s coming.

Nat: "I wanted this man"

D:” I wanted this since I was 4 years old”

I CAN T

Zee: One family dinner

Nat: NO DEAN BEAN PLEASE Sammy is right

Kat: He is but it hurts. So much

Nat: TAKE A KNIFE AND STAB ME

oH....Sammy and Daddy time. Can I skip?

Look at John fucking face!! he’s already so proud.

S:” Dean and I tried to make that once” [nervous laughter]

[John’s face falls]

Zee : Here come regrets

J:”i...I remember “

Sam’s like...”you do?”

J: “ I screwed up with you a lot, didn’t I?”

The noise and expression and breathing Jared choose to made here is worth more than any words

Nat: GOD, SAM YOU PRECIOUS BEAN

S:” no, that’s okay”

J:”No, it’s not”

[me bathing into the holy light of jesus] yeeeees thank you

Sam looks so uncomfortable.

J: “You didn’t have a problem talking about it before you left”

ooooh John is trying so hard tho.

S: “..Dad...” [pauses like he can’t believe he can say that again]

me hitting myself : stop doing this to yourself bitch.

S: “ yeah...you know what? you did some messed up things”

S: “When I think about you....and I think about you a lot..[voice cracks]”

S:”I think about you on the floor of that hospital. And I think about how I never got to say goodbye”

Giu: fuck NOPE I’M OUT

Kat: *drags you back*

Giu: *fights it*

Zee: I’ll tie you down bitch just watch

Kat: I can’t i can’t I can’t

Giu: JARED STOP

Nat: FUCK JARED WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD

Nat: JARED STAHP

Kat: JARED IS INCREDIBLE

J: “Sam....[touches him]”

S: [gets almost scared when John touches him]

and now a change of camera so you can see more hurt

Nat: FUCK THIS I'M GOING OUT WITH YOU GIULS

Kat: I’ll tie you down

Zee: Can this fucking music just stop

Giu: CAN SOMEONE JUST GIVE ME MERCY? it’s 8:40am it’s too early for this

Kat: FUCK YOU JARED PADALECKI

Giu: STOP CRYIG

Giu: ahahahaahahhahahahaahah imma have a heart attack

Nat: SHIT NO FUCK THIS

Giu: Im forgetting english and spelling

J: “Son...I am so sorry”

Zee: That’s enough

Nat: YOU FOUGHT FOR US THAT'S ENOUGH

Giu: CLOSURE

Nat: what's english i'll start to groan in german soon

Zee: I’ll swear in Greek

Giu: I’m already gesturing in italian anyway

S:”Want some company?”

Nat: I get the booze you get the food, I want that bumper sticker

Nat: Why doesn't he remember?What the fuck is happening

Giu: The surnaaaame

Kat: YOU’LL SEE THE SHIT IT HAPPENING

Giu: THE FUCK

Zee : Blue steel

Nat: BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Giu: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

Never forget

Nat: WANNA BE TED TALK

Nat: PROFESSOR JARED

Giu: GOD BLESS KALE (Misha wrote that)

Kat: THE TURTLENECK

hot take: that’s Misha’s turtle neck

Nat: THE GLASSES

D:”No, no , it gets worse”

TEDTalk!Sam is an empty shell. I hate it.

Kat: THE SLICKED BACK HAIR

Giu: Lotta beheadings

Zee : Can Jared stop being hotter in this ep?

D:”Well, I’m cool but you are ugh”

Giu: I saw enough doctor who to know what is Sam talking about.

S:” If all is different, then what else changed”

Giu: OH.

Zee : Oh no

Nat: Zach is also ugh

Giu: NO GO AWAY

Giu: HEY BABE

- GUESS WHO NEVER FOUGHT IN HELL AND RAISED SOME SALTY ASS FROM PERDITION???

Z:”Earth ...where you are always stepping in something”

I mean, he’s not wrong

Zee: Constantine

Nat&Zee: I don't understand that reference

Giu: SDEFAFANSBAKWBLENDP

Zee : Control yourself woman

D:”How are we gonna tell Dad?”

S: “How are we gonna tell Mom”

Nat: Why are the teens everywhere are they running out of extras? I can be an extra.... for love scenes

Zee : I can be a fly in the wall

Z:”I need to know who’s been messing with time?” like...I mess with time, that’s my thing, who’s stealing my job

Giu: SQUINTY BOY

Z:”This town is always been a little muddy for us”

Z:” he...murders you all”

Kat: Ugh I want to stab Zach in the face

oh jfc Cass is a fucking murder machine,kinda like the apocalypse world NO

Nat: Zach, just shut the fuck up, will ya

Zee: I’m an angel of the lord AAAAAAHHHHHH

Zee : GIULS IM DEAD

Giu: IS IT BAD THAT IM AROUSED

Kat: WINGS

Giu: FUCK

Zee: THE ONLY LOGICAL OUTCOME. Babe how dare you ?

D:”Cass? “

C: who’s this bright soul , oh no he’s hot.

D:”Cass, you know us”

C: I WISH.

C: “I don’t know you”

Kat: I DONT KNOW YOU

Nat: Ow...a stab in the heart

Giu: NO

Kat : Breaking my heart

- Oh look you can pin point the exact moment HIS heart breaks.

D:” Cass, don’t”

Giu: LAGO DI GARDA!!

Nat: THE GARDA LAKE? IS THAT AN EXPRESSION?

Giu: No , it’s where i live.

- The satisfaction of seeing Sam kill Zach. Sam enjoying it.

Kat: YAS SAMMEH

Nat: Cas, come on!

- I love that Sam is holding the blade to cut and not stab.

ok ok...honestly I’m enjoying this ok? in the sense that I missed seeing Castiel so strong and powerful , and this is as it should be. He’s an angel , a soldier, with eons of wars behind, he was a captain ffs, the Winchester, they can be as strong as you want but they are human. Even Zach was stronger than them, he was just stupid to fall for Sam trick.

Giu: PLEASE DON’T KILL THEM

Giu: please don’t kill Cass, please don’t kill Cass.

Kat: Dudes the bloopers from this scene will be epic

Nat: I SWEAR IF THEY DON'T SHOW IT

Giu: IM HAVING A HEART ATTACK

D:”Cass, Cass, stop it”

....bitch HE HESITATED , Cass hesitated , he just kept Dean there when he could have just snaps his neck with a bit of pressure.

Zee : Sammy to the rescue

Giu: OH THANK GOD

Us: We want Bamf Castiel back!

Writers: OK

Us: NOT LIKE THIS

Zee: Who needs a heart?

oh look, those plates have the same decorations as the cups we saw in older eps. WHY DO I KNOW THAT.

D:”Egghead”

Nat: me vs. your mom that's not even a choice

Giu: JOHN

Zee : Mary is showing emotion

Nat: I know who i would chose

yeah ok...I would choose this John tho, not the one we started in 2005 .

Zee : Me too

Kat: I almost don’t hate her. She’s hurting so bad. But everything else would be fucked

M:” Sam I can’t”

me too Mary, me too.

Nat: that's the thing. she's hurting more about her husband than her boys

Kat: I said almost

-J:” I never meant for this”

Kat: No son

J: “My fight. It was supposed to end with me. With Yellow eyes”

Giu: AGAIN

J:” But now you- you are a grown man and I’m incredibly proud of you”

Zee : Look how proud

Nat&Giu: JOHN, STAY

Kat: He’s waited so long to hear hat

Nat: LET SAM BE INTERNET FAMOUS

J:” I guess that I hoped, eventually,you would...get yourself a normal life, a peaceful life, a family.”

Zee&Giu : I have a family

Nat&Kat: WE EAT

Nat: A man after my taste

Giu: AND MY POOR HEART

Zee : Too much silence

Kat: #awkward

Nat: #sad

Giu: #The last supper

Zee : Stahp

Kat: SHUT UP BITCH

J:” We can be grateful for this time we have together.”

Kat: #AMEN

Nat: sounds like AYE MEN

Giu: ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT

Kat: Fucking Bob Seger

Giu: THEY DESERVE ALL OF THIS,ALL OF IT . MY BABIES

Kat: I WANNA KNOW THE CONVO

Nat: #DOMESTIC LIFE

S: “It doesn’t feel right to have all of this and have to throw it away and I know we have to.” S:” He just goes back to...to..being Dad”

-Oh honey

Giu: Sam is panicking

Nat: Who would save the world tho

S:” I think it would be nice”

D:” yeah? I used to think that too.”

D:”For the longest time I blamed Dad. I mean I blamed Mom too,you know. I was angry”

D: “Why don’t send him further back , and let some other poor sons of bitches save the world?

oh...OH Dean is woke

D:” But there’s the problem. Who does that makes us? Would we be better off? Maybe. But I’ve got to be honest. I don’t know who that Dean Winchester is.”

D:”I’m good with who I am,and I’m good with who you are”

Zee : Does anybody else experiencing chest pain??

Nat: What's a chest. I can't feel anything below my mouth

Giu: what s a mouth

Kat: #too old for this shit

D:”Cause our life, they are ours”

Kat: BAWLING

Kat: THIS FUCKING MUSIC

M: “I hate this”

Giu: WE HATE THIS

Zee&Kat: My girl

-NOOOOOO

J:”I miss you so damn much”

Nat: #make it stop

Nat: fuck this

Kat: NONONONONONONONONONONO I

Giu: STOP IT STOOOOP

Nat: JARED CONTROL YOUR FACE

Kat: THEY BOTH NEED TO

Zee : Fuck this flips table

-What a soft hug omg I can’t. Why is John so soft , whyyyyyy.

Giu: I WANNA DIE

Nat: FUCK THIS

-Dean’s eyes are dead , he’s trying to be emotionless and I can’t deal with it.

Also Sam keeps throwing glances at Dean and it breaks me.

John looking at his sons is PAAAAIN.

J:” You two. You take care of each other”

S: “We always do”

Can I say that I expected some “Yes Sir” here and there and I’m so glad that there were none? Like...yes they grow up and they are their own men and I’m so damn glad. I would have hated if I heard them saying that.

Kat: GOOD TO SEE YOU DAD

Dean said that so softly I can’t

Nat: OMG

Giu: JARED FUCK

Zee : I’m gonna faint

Nat&Kat: I AM SO PROUD OF YOU BOYS

Giu: JDM FUCK U TOO

Nat: FUCK YOU ALL OF YOU

This ....Jared you fucking broke me here, you just ...can’t go and act like this and expect me to still be breathing .

Giu: JAY DON’T

Goddammit Dean still looks like he doesn’t wan’t to break but ...I can see it, your lips are shaking damn you Jensen.

Oh no here comes the hug of pain.

J:”I love you both so much”

why is Sam crying so much this season , JARED !

-oH NO DEAN SAID IT....DEAN SAID I LOVE YOU , I CAN’T , 911 HELP I CAN’T BREATHE

Nat: HEY, FUCK THIS SHIT I'M GONE

I’m so sick of seeing tears ok? And seeing John so emotional??? NAAAAAH FUCK THAT, I saw those tears falling . FUCK U

NOT THE WINK

Zee : Can they all fuck the fuck off???

J:”Sammy...”

Kat: JENSEN FUCK YOU JARED FUCK YOU JDM FUCK YOU

Nat: TAKE MARY WITH YOU

Giu: dean your face

Kat: JENSEN BROKE ME

Dean looked like a little scared kid there and he just broke me once again.

Nat: THIS IS NOT RIGHT AND THEY KNOW IT THE WRITERS KNOW IT I HATE THIS SO MUCH

Kat: Yeah but that one look. Fuck

ok Now....I wanted to make this gif so badly because it haunted me. This....This is when Sam break the pearl. The sound looks like it hit Dean like a bullet or something and I just ....look at him it looks like he wants to scream, his lips seems like they are spelling a soundless ‘NO’ or he just let go, because he wasn’t breathing until the sound ....I need a minute, I’m gonna throw up my breakfast.

Bye John , I’ll miss you fiercely

aaaaand Dean looks like he’s dead again.

Nat: HEY GIULS Lebanon walk.

Nat I’m dead what do you want me to do? Call me if there is a ghost walk of Lebanon-

Also YAAAAAAS THOSE TWO ARE THE CUTEST

Nat&Kat&Giu: CAS

Sam looks relieved

Kat: OF FUCK THIS

Nat: Look at that phone

Giu: OMG NO

Nat&Zee&Kat: One hell of a dream

Kat: So much plagiarism

Zee : This music NEEDS to stop

Nat: NO WHAT THE FUCK WAS THIS

Giu: THE FUCK

Zee : Can we have a “fuck” count ?

Nat: aWWWW...jACK

Nat: WTF JACK

Giu: Jack honey dont

Kat: WHAT ARE THE DOING TO BABY BEAN

Zee: March 7???

Nat: Yeah no

Writers: heya! we are gonna give you some sweet stuff for the 300th, y’all gonna hate it so much.

after credits brainstorm

Nat: SO GET THIS Did John remember? Did John know that the boys are happy and he spends the last of his days thinking about how he could get rid of Michael? Giu: What what . Oh fuck I sure hope so Nat: He saw that the boys were happy, that Mary came back. That's all he wanted . That's why it wasn't hard for him to let go and make the deal. Zee: I soooooo don’t need this rn Giu: im on board. Because he said that he had the strangest dream right? So since their life are fucked up anyway , what hurt could it make to look that shit up? Nat: He will remember but it's more like a vivid dream and he will do anything to fight for them so that's why it wasn't hard for him at all to save Dean, even though he can't defeat YED. Because he knows that his boys will save the world. And still live. with an angel and lucifer's child.

.I have no word , and no answer of how I’m feeling right now.

If you want to get tagged in the future ones send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

TAGS: @supernatural-teamfreewillpage @destiel-honeypie @mariekoukie6661 @dragontamerm @closetspngirl @rainflowermoon @mattiecat @bunnybaby121115 @aliaitee2 @jacks-word-of-the-day @4evamc @dammitsammy @legendary-destiel @winchesterprincessbride @destielhoneybee @castiellover20

#14x13 #spn season 14 #supernatural season 14 #season 14 spoilers #14x13 spoilers #300th #supernatural 300 #spn 300 promo pic #300 supernatural gifs #lebanon spoiler #lebanon

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writingdotcoffee · 5 years

Text

#79: Not Feeling Like It

Today, I want to share something that I’ve been struggling with over the past few months. I’m still figuring it out, so don’t expect much advice in this post. But I’m curious if anyone will relate.

I like to think that I’m pretty good at habits. They change from time to time, but I tend to maintain several daily habits at any given time.

These days I get up before 7, meditate, journal, read a short story, read 50 pages from a book, write, do push-ups, post on the blog, run (every other day) and a few other things. Habits are basically how I run my life, and although it might seem like the most boring existence ever, I love it.

Lately, I've noticed that it’s getting increasingly more difficult to keep these going. It’s a classic procrastination scenario. Once I start things go pretty well. But I’m willing to do anything just so I don’t have to get started.

I might put on my running gear and then spend 20 minutes doing pointless tasks around the flat before finally heading out. I’ll read shitty news articles online instead of reading a book which is right there in front of me. Sometimes, I even have to talk myself into doing pushups in the morning which literally takes no more than two minutes to complete. I just don’t feel like doing it, and I don’t understand why.

I’ve done some of these on the daily for years and years. I know what I have to do. I understand the value of those habits. If anything, I thought that it will become easier over time, almost automatic. Isn’t that how habits are supposed to work? Why are things getting more difficult? Where is all this resistance coming from?

Honestly, I’m just bloody annoyed.

I guess this was one of Steven Pressfield’s point in War of Art. As you grow, your resistance grows with you. As if every time you get a little comfortable, someone turns up the heat. You have to develop systems and become better at fighting your monkey brain. Maybe it’s a good sign then?

What’s your experience with resistance? Does it get better or worse? Does it stay the same?

What I Am Reading

This week, I read A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway. It’s a collection of short anecdotes from the time he spent in Paris in the 1920s. He hung out with people like James Joyce and Ezra Pound and Gertrude Stein and Ford Maddox Ford. He writes about his struggles with money and publication. In one story, he recounts how they organised a fundraiser for T. S. Eliot because he had to work for a bank and didn’t have enough time to write.

A number of writing quotes that float around the internet originate from this book, and it was cool to see them in context. Highly recommended.

Next, I’ll be reading A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles. This is one of the books that I got for Christmas—not something that I would pick up myself, and the more excited I am to read it. Expanding my horizons time.

Short Stories

I also read these short stories:

Asleep at the Wheel by T. C. Boyle

The Song by Erinn L. Kemper

Borderland by Olga Tokarczuk

Identity Crisis by Andrew Dicker

Gingerbread by Anthony Howcroft

The Meaning of Love by Daniel Abraham

A Better Way to Die by Paul Cornell

Want More?

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Past Editions

#78: Becoming Polynovelous, February 2019

#77: In Praise of Bad Fiction, February 2019

#76: The Negative Review Paradox, February 2019

#75: Winter, January 2019

#74: Audiobooks, January 2019

#writing #writers #write #writing update #writing life #amwriting #update #personal #me #writingcoffee #writingdotcoffee

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jawnkeets · 6 years

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I need some book recommendations, please! Anything intense and dark. I want them to take my mind on a crazy ride. xx

hi! ok so the following is a selection of my fav works of literature (or works that i have found particularly thought-provoking) relating to intensity and darkness, delving into the bizarre, perverse, grimly humorous, subversive, illuminating, horrifying, unsettling, and just plain weird:

the pit and the pendulum and the mask of the red death, edgar allan poe (torture and plague!)

the theatre and its double, antonin artaud and biography antonin artaud: blows and bombs, stephen barber (desperately intense and original. massively underrated in the english-speaking world imo despite exerting a huge influence on contemporary theatre and the arts more generally)

the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde and the body snatchers, robert louis stevenson (stevenson bringing good old victorian repression/ secrecy/ duality/ cover-of-darkness criminality etc to the table, we all love it)

on evil, terry eagleton (if ur interested in a critical approach/ perspective)

the metamorphosis and the trial, franz kafka (the word kafkaesque may often be pretentiously sprinkled into conversation but his work is actually rly good lol)

the rime of the ancient mariner and kubla khan, samuel taylor coleridge (context surrounding kubla khan as a drug-fuelled vision and its fragmentary nature is v interesting - see debate surrounding the ‘person from porlock’)

stone animals, kelly link (kindly recommended to me by @karmictard! i loved this short story it was so insidiously unsettling)

bacchae, euripides (bit of dionysian irrationality, it’s a classic)

the waste land, t. s. eliot (turning up the unreality dial to max)

waiting for godot, samuel beckett (so funny in a despair-inducing kind of way)

king lear, hamlet and titus andronicus, william shakespeare (gruesome/ dark in places, the comedy/ foolery rly adds to the plays also and makes u rethink its relationship to the tragic/ serious, particularly in hamlet. additionally othello is fascinating and fits your criteria of intense and dark when examined with issues of godhood, free will and the self in mind - disturbing questions are raised…)

jerusalem, jez butterworth (if ur interested in topsvy turvy stuff and the interplay between crudeness and profundity, wildness and bathos, this darkly comic anarchic drama may be for you. it’s my fav 21st cent work of literature like honestly it’s amazing)

i am waiting for the right time to read the great god pan as well (and more of arthur machen’s stories) - so whilst i can’t recommend this just yet, i will report back.

hope this helps!!

#v sorry for the late reply!#asks #tw ableism #potentially?#in on evil eagleton uses words like m*niac and refers to psychotic people in derogatory ways at certain points #like not very often but it does happen a couple of times #so just a forewarning #as much as i love the literature of evil/ horror/ the unsettling etc it can be very ableist #and i'd hate for my recommendations to trigger anyone #additionally when reading artaud there has been a tendency in the past to romanticise/ demonise/ fetishise/ vilify his schizophrenia #or to view it with perverse fascination #and i am not advocating that at all #critics have been weirdly uncritical in that sense #but at the same time like others have infantilised him like he wasn’t funny or profound on purpose ever and he so was #this has turned into a rant and i’m tired so it’s a bit nonsensical but #hope this conveys enough #also lol @ me going off at ppl using kafkaesque in pseudo-intellectual discussions when..... i do that #horror #0.1k #uploads

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vaguely-concerned · 6 years

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Some Uncharted 3 feels

- My sister and I just finished up Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception, and let me tell you… she chose the perfect fucking game to introduce me to the series because a) parental substitute stories are my ultimate narrative Jam and I will eat it up with not one spoon, not two spoons, but every spoon made available to me, b) the early parts of the game with Chloe and Charlie are g e n i u s and I loved all these treasure hunting weirdos (Charlie’s interspersed British History info dump while Nate was doing his own Francis Drake info dump was golden) and c) the moment I had to control tiny little bb Nate scrambling over the rooftops every protective instinct rose up in me and I adopted him as my son. He just feels so vulnerable in this one, even as an adult, I want to slap Marlowe’s filthy British gaslighting hands away from him and keep him safe. (‘Sullly hasn’t come back for you yet’ how D A R E you monster)

- I feel a deep eternal spiritual connection with Sully, because we both took one look at this disaster child and went ‘...well nothing for it I must now protect him for as long as I live’. (There were frequently hilarious moments when I was cottoning on to what kind of insane leap the game/Nathan ‘No Trace Of Impulse Control’ Drake wanted me to do next and I was like ‘oh no… no baby child you’ll break your neck I hate this’ and one second later Sully would be like ‘...you sure about this, kid’ and I was like ‘THANK YOU SULLY THIS IS MADNESS’ and then of course Nate would do it anyway while I turned my head so I wouldn’t have to look at the craziness I had wrought with the dual shock controller)

- It’s perfectly understandable why Nate marries Elena in the end and I am very happy for them, but with all objective truth in the universe we must all come to accept that no one in this game is more Marriage Material than Salim. Always there with a freakishly durable horse and a perfectly timed rescue to sweep you off your feet — literally, because you’re an idiot who routinely jumps from your horse onto trucks at breakneck speed and yet he lets you sit behind him on his horse until you find yours again; a Gentleman. Beautiful eyes. Excellent sense of dramatic timing, maybe good hair under the coverings, could immediately feel the cosmic vibrations of hurt puppy, I-am-doing-the-best-I-can-I-swear-everything-just-keeps-happening-to-me energy around Nathan Drake and chose to protect him… truly, the perfect man.

- I sort of got the thing they tried to do at the end with the Talbot/Marlowe bond mirrored with the Nate/Sully one, but I feel like it would have been better if it was built up more before they reach the city? Like at this point your distaste for Talbot is so strong that you’re like ‘well GOOD your mother figure sucked anyway, choke on quicksand assbutt’, and it could have been more gutting if he was just a tiny bit more likeable. Marlowe had some really good indirect characterization going on though, like the fact that after twenty years she STILL hasn’t figured out that the reason Sully suddenly ‘stabbed her in the back’ was that she fucking hit a kid in the face in front of him. (It wasn’t subtle, Katherine, he’s standing there like D: D: D: right behind you)

- GOD the damn shipyard stuff dragged on FOREVER and for no narrative reward whatsoever — if you think about it it could literally be removed from the game completely and… nothing at all would change except Nate would maybe have a few more ribs still intact — and also the gameplay was tiring, but it was tremendously effective in making you feel what Nate feels and so I forgive it. I felt fucking harrowed by the time he wakes up on that beach, enough so that I didn’t even bother to go ‘uh. Sure. sure he washed ashore safely from what looked very much like the open ocean. That’s… likely’. I was just happy he was okay. Ssssh it’s psychological storytelling okay let’s not question it. Also being on a sinking cruise ship was admittedly some of the coolest level design I’ve ever seen, so there’s that.

- On an unrelated note I wonder what the hell Marlowe was paying her goons for them to keep trying to murder me after their employer had set fire to the chateau with them still inside it with no way out and while a plane was getting torn to pieces around them. That’s dedication, I’m actually impressed.

- No one wears a henley shirt quite like Nathan Drake. Like my feelings for him are more parental than anything but damn that boy sure knows how to pull off a Look.

- Talking about parental feelings, who else melts every time he starts expounding on a special interest? He’s such a ditz about everything else and yet… is it English renaissance and/or connected to Francis Drake in even the vaguest possible way? My boy will talk your ear off about it. God bless this ADHD poster child.

- They really did some cool things with his characterization otherwise too — this game feels a little like a coming of age story, despite the fact that he’s like… thirty five, because there’s this childlike quality to him, that slight manic brittleness of an abandoned, hurt child that is both tremendously endearing and slightly unsettling. (He… kills a lot of people in this game, u guise, and while most of it is made out to be basically self defense he, uh, doesn’t seem all that broken up about it) Marlowe revealing his real backstory so off-handedly and leaving you to puzzle together the fact that he has made himself into his own escapist character worked so well and might have hit me even harder if I’d played the first two. From how strongly he reacts to Elena’s comments about it he must realize on some level that Sully is getting older and that would trigger that fear that he’s going to leave the Adventure and by extension him behind, taking the one stable thing he’s had in his life since he was like fifteen away. (Thank you, Sully, for staying alive like a champ even though you’re the resident mentor and Nate’s terrified imagination murdered you like… four times in this game, this is the kind of dedication and survivability I like to see in a father figure)

I love that in the end what lets him heal is feeling safe in the fact that these people love him and won’t leave him even though he’s pulling the most insane shit and that is all that hole in him he tried to fill with adrenaline and Adventure really needed and he can let go enough to have real emotional closeness. Aaaand also he needed to sink a fucking city into the sand in the process b/c of who he is as a person, I guess. Let me reiterate: god bless him.

- Most difficult parts: when they try to make you shoot hallucination!Sully (I’m such a wimp, I couldn’t lol) and when you have to fight Charlie. I failed that fight thrice because I didn’t want to hit him back. Also when they make you think Charlie’s about to die, that was straight up mean

- “*deep sigh* This is why we can’t have nice things” I am Sully and Sully is me. Really though, that man is the true hero of this story. He’s been saying ‘Careful Nate’ and ‘Nate find another way so you won’t fucking die’ and ‘HOLY SHIT KID’ for twenty years and it has never worked and yet he still tries. Inspiring.

- The voice acting was amazing — I have never understood the hype around Nolan North before, he’s just everywhere in games, it would be like noticing the presence of air, but then I heard the way his voice went tiny when he said ‘Sully?’ and everything inside me went !!!!!

I get it now

- My one real complaint: I hope whoever’s responsible for all the ‘running towards the floaty camera’ scenes steps on one Lego annually for the next decade, those parts took years off my life

- Marlowe is a class act on the good old Villain Stuff — I burst out laughing when it turned out she was a member of an ~*ancient secret society*~ because… of course. Of COURSE she is — and I deeply respect that. Quoting T. S. Eliot at you while you’re dying in the desert? They just don’t make ‘em like that anymore, guys.

- This game is the ultimate proof that if you successfully create emotional connection with the characters, your plot can be as openly silly and full of holes as you like and people will roll with it. I mean that ending made no sense whatsoever but I was too busy whimpering through Nate’s hallucination panic attack thingy to care and that is… no one should have that kind of power, Naughty Dog, why u hurt me this way and make me forget what logic is

- Most brilliantly funny and understated moment: baby Nate casually reaching out for Sully’s beer and Sully being like ‘lol no kid’ in the most knowing, already fond way. The physical acting in these games is just phenomenal, which I guess is the upside of all the mocap stuff? (also makes sure they’re quite short and streamlined tho ha ha)

- We got ‘The Lost Legacy’ with the PS4 too so I’m going to start that — I think I will miss Nate but I also love Chloe and her cynical yet caring ass with the passion of a thousand suns so it’ll be okay ha ha

#uncharted 3 drake's deception #uncharted #thinky thoughts #meta #‘Made himself into his own escapist character’ *spots mccree out of the corner of my eye; sweats nervously* I may… have a Type in sons #uncharted 3

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sylvieons · 7 years

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Fandom meme tagged by @nyx4 and @cleoselene xoxo which took me 90 years to finish but it’s HARD OKAY thinking is hard

A: Your current OTP. Jace/Alec from Shadowhunters. Apparently this makes me problematic but I don't care

B: A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind. This is hard because if I started watching a show because of someone they typically told me their ship ahead of time and then I was looking for it. So I guess the closest I can come up with is that I lowkey ship Sephiroth/Genesis from Final Fantasy because of @nyx4 but I've never played the game

C: A pairing you wish you shipped, but just can't. Arthur/Merlin from Merlin. Everyone always went so over the top with Merthur, and I shipped it for a few seconds but I never really liked Arthur so it was hard to care.

D: What was the first thing you ever contributed to a fandom? An X-Files fanfic uploaded to Gossamer titled, embarrassingly enough, "My Immortal" to which I attached my real name. I was 14 or 15 and therefore very stupid. (I have since had this and another removed from the site, thankfully). I also handed this fic into my English teacher to read. Even more embarrassing. The plot? Mulder loved Scully but he wanted to make sure that she loved him so he tried to make her jealous and when she did act jealous he was like "lol jk" and then I went into a lot of detail on a kiss they shared (THAT MY ENGLISH TEACHER READ) and then they got engaged and then they both got shot outside of Mulder's apartment for WHATEVER REASON and died. Hence "My Immortal", because they'll be together in death.

E: Have you added anything stupid/cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what? Yes, and I shall find the post I made on Livejournal so I can bring you direct to the source. It was for Legend of the Seeker, and I got the idea to Photoshop a fake Facebook post based on an episode (I forgot where I got the idea, if I saw it in another fandom or what). Anyway the result was this:

https://imgur.com/Zo5Bi6x

It spun of control and spawned an actual Facebook RP which is where I met the two people who tagged me in this and AIN'T LIFE REALLY CRAZY SOMETIMES???

F: What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom? What fandom was it? The X-Files. I got into it when I was around 11 or 12 and was a pretty active member until I was 17 or 18. Which doesn't seem very long, but to be heavily into it, I feel it was. And then I came back around to it when the revival was announced, so it's been an on and off relationship.

G: What was your first fandom? The X-Files, probably, in terms of content-creating. Maybe if I'm counting things like "I pretended I was Xena a lot and I would call my friend on the phone and we’d talk about Xena" then maybe Xena: Warrior Princess

H: Do you prefer real-life TV shows or animated TV shows? Real-life, hands down. I hate animation.

I: Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why? Lol what -hasn't- Tumblr caused me to hate? Tho...you know what...I've never said it on this hellsite for fear of reprisal, but I'm going to do it. Tumblr turned me off Sansa Stark back in season 2 or so. There was so many posts where people were so aggressive about unfollowing and hating people who didn't like Sansa and it got so irritating I started to dislike Sansa by association. So congrats, Tumblr, you played yourself. Also, this site turned me off The Musketeers around season 3. So much Aramis hate, kind of soured me since I watched the show for Santiago Cabrera. And then that association soured me on Santiago, so. Thanks.

J: Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr. I'm going to say Teen Wolf. It was all over the place when it was first airing and people either loved it or thought it was ridiculous so I started watching it finally and it was ridiculously great. But then they killed off Allison and ruined my life :)))))

K: How do you feel about the other people in your current fandom(s). I don't really know what my current fandoms are - I'm kind of really into Shadowhuters rn but not in a "making things" sort of way. Anyway, I have heard some very terrible things about this fandom so I am wary.

L: Your favorite fanartist/author gives you one request, what do you ask for? I don't read fanfic and I'm not into fanart so.

M: A person who got you into a fandom and what fandom they pulled you in to. @nyx4 again. Got me into watching Sons of Anarchy. I had tried previously and got about 10 minutes in and couldn't stand it but she said it got better so I powered through and then I was into it.

As for non-TV and movie stuff, @tsukinosusagis got me into a shitton of music and like he said a few days ago “Remember when Lights created our friendship??? ICONIC”

N: Your favorite fandom (for the people; not the thing you fangirl over). Legend of the Seeker on its Livejournal days, back in 2009 and 2010 were my favorite. Nothing on tumblr.hell is a good fandom. All of it should burn.

O: Choose a song at random, what ship does it remind you of? Lmao I'm really bad at this. I suffer trying to pick songs for ships so idk

P: Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas). SHADOWHUNTERS PIRATE AU. Also, it's not an AU, but I have a very elaborate setup in my head for an episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia where the gang is convinced the bar is haunted and the name of the ep is "Paddy's Pub: The Most Haunted Bar in Philadelphia"

Q: A ship you’ve abandoned and why. Cersei/Jaime because Jaime is a rapist. Also made me stop watching GOT because I was really mostly watching for Cersei and Jaime but I didn’t wanna see Jaime anymore so

R: A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships. Morgana/Lancelot from Merlin. I'm sure there's a lot in the actual Arthuriana stuff that people ship, but I'm just talking about the show. I was only able to find maybe 1 gifset and 2 fics about these two. Granted, I only shipped them because SANTIAGO CABRERA AND KATIE MCGRATH so maybe nobody else cared.

S: What's a headcanon you have? I don't really have any of these.

T: What are your favorite male/male ships or female/female ships? Jace/Alec (Shadowhuters), Aramis/Porthos (The Musketeers), Red/Snow (Once Upon a Time), Rizzoli/Isles (Rizzoli & Isles), Eliot/Quentin (The Magicians), Penny/Quentin (The Magicians), Xena/Gabrielle (Xena), Mac/Dennis (It's Alway Sunny), Willow/Tara (BTVS)

U: What are your favorite male/female ships? Mulder/Scully (The X-Files), Cesare/Lucrezia (The Borgias), Richard/Nicci (Legend of the Seeker), Richard/Cara (Legend of the Seeker), Gemma/Tig (Sons of Anarchy), Mitchell/Annie (Being Human), Spike/Dru (BTVS), Jim/Pam (The Office), Jane/Michael (Jane the Virgin)

V: Do you have any 3-way ships? If so, what? Yeah, Darken Rahl/Cara/Dahlia from Legend of the Seeker. And it has to be a threeway, because any two of these characters together I don't ship but the 3 together? YES YES YES

W: 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms. Bo Dennis (Lost Girl) Ilithyia (Spartacus) Dana Scully (The X-Files) Quentin Coldwater (The Magicians) Gemma Teller (Sons of Anarchy)

X: 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms. Why would ya ask me this question when you asked for my favorite ships above, bro?

But I guess

Mulder/Scully (The X-Files) Richard/Nicci (Legend of the Seeker) Jim/Pam (The Office)

Y: A fandom you’re in but have no ships from. Most of them - like even if I do have a ship, it's pretty lowkey? A lot of the above are lowkey. But I'll say Black Sails.

Z: What's a ship that you want to ship publicly, but everyone on tumblr hates it so you keep your mouth shut about it? Lol Jalec I guess? Like I'm saying it right now, but I'm not gonna go out there and go big with it because lots of annoying people out there.

#about meme

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