potato is love, potato is life- local hell woman gives potato to her angelic future wife
Charlie: “I don’t think I should be allowed to interact with women ever again.”
Husk: “Is this about Vaggie giggling over a fucking potato earlier-”
Charlie: “OH IT’S ABOUT THE POTATO ALL RIGHT! WHY THE FUCK DOES THE PHRASE ‘apple of my eye’ EVEN EXIST IN THE SAME UNIVERSE WHERE ‘earth apple’ IS ANOTHER WORD FOR POTATO??? WHY DO PEOPLE CALL THE STUPID SPROUTY THINGS ON POTATOES ‘eyes’????? CREATION IS STUPID! IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE!!”
Husk: “Did you fucking give her the potato.”
Charlie: (slumping) “I was trying to be romantic-!”
Husk: “Did you call HER your potato.”
Charlie: “THE POTATO OF MY HEART! The tuber of my root sprout!”
Husk: “Oh fuck. Shit, that’s. That’s terrible. You really shouldn’t fucking talk to women anymore.”
Charlie: (sobbing) “I WAS TRYING!!! TO BE SWEET!!!!!”
Angel Dust: “-hey gays m’kay, real fucked up question for ya both but- anyone know why Vag G-string is makin’ soppy doe eyes at an uncooked tater tot?”
Husk: “It’s because she’s almost as much of fucking fail loser as her girlfriend, is why.”
Charlie: (sniffs) “She. You think she likes it…?”
Angel Dust: “Charlie chip, she’s starin’ at the damn thing like it’s her first born child.”
Charlie: “Oh…”
Charlie: “…”
Charlie: “Unholy shit…. I am so GOOD with women-”
Husk: “No. No you’re fucking not. It’s just her.”
Charlie: “Well she’s the only one who counts so that’s perfect!”
Angel Dust: “Oh please don’ tell me you gave her the potato-”
Charlie: “BE RIGHT BACK IM GONNA GO GET HER ANOTHER ONE!!!”
Husk: “NO-!”
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but yeah rayllum strolling into the starscraper like "yeah we want this super secret powerful weapon so we can kill an imprisoned elf. yeah he's totally evil we promise. we have his prison in your bag. also can you give us your equally rare gem stones to free these three other elves + human who looks like a dark mage, who we promise are totally not evil. we also have their prisons in our bag. yeah the same bag. you're 100% gonna give us the stuff, right?" is funnier to me than it should be
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*growling and gnashing my teeth every time I remember Ed probably carried Stede off that ship
Based on this post by @meanmisscharles 🕺🏻
Instagram/ YouTube/ Ao3
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I'm a little bit insane about how in novel canon the whole xiyao ending where Jin Guangyao wants to die with Xichen, who accepts, which then makes jgy change his mind and pushes him away at the last second isn't actually explicit. A lot of adaptations chose to make it so but in the novel this is all VERY up for interpretation.
Here's what actually happens in the text: Lan xichen stabs jgy, jgy moves away from lan xichen, xichen follows him, wwx realizes jgy is about to open the coffin and calls "watch out!" to lan xichen. Jgy unseals nmj, pushes xichen away, nmj kills jgy and they are both dragged into the coffin which is sealed again.
Here's what wei wuxian, our narrator, thinks is happening: Jin Guangyao wanted to lead lan xichen to his death out of revenge for stabbing him. Lan Xichen, unaware, simply followed Jin Guangyao to try and stop him from getting away. Wei wuxian's warning came too late, but Jin Guangyao- for an unknown reason- changed his mind at the last second and pushed lan xichen out of danger before lan xichen had any idea of what was going on.
Here's what most fans as well as the teams behind several adpatations think is happening: Jin Guangyao leads Xichen to nmj's coffin to die with him, Xichen accepts, because of this acceptance, proof xichen still cares for him, Jin Guangyao pushes him out of harm's way. Wei Wuxian just doesn't get that gay people who aren't him or Lan Wangji exist.
Here's what ALSO MIGHT BE HAPPENING: Jin guangyao wants to die in a different way than he is currently dying. Maybe he's afraid of what'll happen to his body after his death like he was scared for his mother's, maybe he wants to confront nmj one last time now that there's nothing more for him to lose, maybe - if he can't take her body with him- he'd at least like his final resting place to be where he buried his mother. Lan Xichen thinks he's trying to get away and follows but Jin Guangyao, who despite everything doesn't want him to die, pushes him away. Xichen doesn't know what happened until it's already happened. What he would've wanted if he had known remains up in the air.
Or, alternatively: Jin Guangyao's reasons are as above, but unbeknowst to Wei Wuxian, Xichen DOES know what jgy is about to do and either misinterprets this as an invitation to all die together, or inidividually decides he, too, is done, and wants to join his sworn brothers in the grave. To Jin Guangyao this has nothing to do with Lan Xichen, and he still doesn't want him to die, so he pushes him away against Lan Xichen's wishes.
Every single one of these interpretations is unhinged and they are all supported by the original text. It's like a choose your own adventure of tragic gay endings.
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Illustration from 'A system of human anatomy', c. 1840
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