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a-dauntless-daffodil · 1 month

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potato is love, potato is life- local hell woman gives potato to her angelic future wife

Charlie: “I don’t think I should be allowed to interact with women ever again.”

Husk: “Is this about Vaggie giggling over a fucking potato earlier-”

Charlie: “OH IT’S ABOUT THE POTATO ALL RIGHT! WHY THE FUCK DOES THE PHRASE ‘apple of my eye’ EVEN EXIST IN THE SAME UNIVERSE WHERE ‘earth apple’ IS ANOTHER WORD FOR POTATO??? WHY DO PEOPLE CALL THE STUPID SPROUTY THINGS ON POTATOES ‘eyes’????? CREATION IS STUPID! IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE!!”

Husk: “Did you fucking give her the potato.”

Charlie: (slumping) “I was trying to be romantic-!”

Husk: “Did you call HER your potato.”

Charlie: “THE POTATO OF MY HEART! The tuber of my root sprout!”

Husk: “Oh fuck. Shit, that’s. That’s terrible. You really shouldn’t fucking talk to women anymore.”

Charlie: (sobbing) “I WAS TRYING!!! TO BE SWEET!!!!!”

Angel Dust: “-hey gays m’kay, real fucked up question for ya both but- anyone know why Vag G-string is makin’ soppy doe eyes at an uncooked tater tot?”

Husk: “It’s because she’s almost as much of fucking fail loser as her girlfriend, is why.”

Charlie: (sniffs) “She. You think she likes it…?”

Angel Dust: “Charlie chip, she’s starin’ at the damn thing like it’s her first born child.”

Charlie: “Oh…”

Charlie: “…”

Charlie: “Unholy shit…. I am so GOOD with women-”

Husk: “No. No you’re fucking not. It’s just her.”

Charlie: “Well she’s the only one who counts so that’s perfect!”

Angel Dust: “Oh please don’ tell me you gave her the potato-”

Charlie: “BE RIGHT BACK IM GONNA GO GET HER ANOTHER ONE!!!”

Husk: “NO-!”

#hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #chaggie #vaggie #husk hazbin hotel #angel dust hazbin hotel #incorrect quotes #vaggie planting the potato in large vase and becoming Very Protective of it #its corner of the hotel is blocked off by caution tape #and death threats #she does a diving roll to save it the next time someone wrecks the hotel #for a week afterwards the potted potato plant lives in her and charlie's bed room in BED with them #and at that point charlie isn't so sure about this anymore #but it's too late #vaggie takes a thousand pics of the first sprout #she starts a photo album for it #the damn potato plant is now the apple of vaggie's eye #and charlie cant even be annoyed bc it's literally a symbol of her love for vaggie #so she also has to be paranoid over it and check it three times a day #a family can be a demon princess #her fallen angel gf #and their first ever houseplant <3

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xxgoblin-dumplingxx · 4 years

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Cherry Coke Special: Seven

In the dark of your bedroom, Bucky pulls you closer and kisses your forehead. It had been beautiful being between your thighs, pinning you to the bed. Everything he’d hoped for as you came apart again and again. You make a soft sleepy sound, and he smiles, “Such a good girl for me,” he praises, “Lettin’ me, take care of you.”

“I didn’t wanna ask,” you murmur, rubbing your eyes slowly, “Didn’t want to take things awkward if you turned me down.”

He chuckles softly and pets your stomach, leaning down to kiss the swell softly. “Darlin’,” he scolds affectionately, “I wanted to get you in bed since the night I first saw you.”

Your cheeks heat, and you card your fingers through his hair as he nuzzles your stomach. It feels nice. You didn’t think he’d be this soft in the afterglow. Of course, you also didn’t know he’d spend this much time with you. Especially now that you’re getting more obviously pregnant with your ex’s baby. “Oh,” you murmur, arching into his light touches with a sigh.

“So touch starved,” he murmured, “That’s not good.”

“Or I’m just needy,” you answer, stretching.

Bucky grins, “I like that better,” he says, “I think I like you needy.” It’s true. He really does. Because of how you’re needy. You need him. Not his money or influence. You have an impact of your own, even if you don’t have money. You never ask him for anything. Not really even his time, granted. He volunteers it. But still. It’s a nice change. He’d like to buy you pretty things. New clothes and some jewelry, but he knows you’d probably be uncomfortable. Still. He had a little list of baby things he was going to start buying.

“You say that until I start calling you, so you’ll come to cuddle,” you tease.

“Please do it,” he murmured, kissing your tummy again. Lots of soft, wet, hungry kisses that make you shiver.

“Yeah?” you ask, feeling warmth spread through your chest.

“Yeah,” he says softly, “You’re my girl, remember?”

“You don’t let me forget it,” you answer.

“Damn right I don’t,” he grouses, sliding out of bed and pulling on his pants.

“Where are you going?” you ask, sitting up.

“To go heat up your dinner so you can eat it. Ya horn dog,” he says, smirking, leaning over to kiss your forehead.

“Thank you,” you tell him, smiling a little. Now that you can think about anything but Bucky in his grey sweat pants, you are getting hungry.

_______

Friday at noon, when you walked out of the building, Nat was sitting in a black car at the curb, and she rolled the window down. “Everything okay?” you ask, leaning on the door.

“Bucky sent me. Told me to tell you he got hung up in meetings,” she answered.

“Is that what actually happened?” you counter, quirking an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” she said, smiling. She liked you. You were smart. Smart enough to know when to ask direct questions and when to dance around. “I’m supposed to take you to your appointment, then take you home.”

“Okay,” you sigh, opening the door and sliding in.

“Sorry,” she said, looking over her shoulder to back up, “Boss’ orders.”

“I know,” you snort, “He’s gonna be irritated at me, but I got an overnight to run tonight.”

“Overnight?”

You nod, yawning. You’re wrecked, and your day just barely started. “Audits are coming up. So I gotta get charts done right and make sure everything is all pretty and up to snuff for State, so we keep our accreditations.”

“Why you gotta do it at night, though?” she asked.

You shrug, “I get more done on overnights. There are fewer interruptions and people needing stuff because aside from a handful of people that work nights, all my clients are in bed. And 3rd shift is basically just there to watch the desk and clean.”

Natasha nodded, smirking, “So much for a sleep schedule.”

“I mean, when the baby gets here, I’ll be sleep deprived anyway,” you point out.

She nodded, “That’s true,” she allowed, “But yeah, Bucky’s gonna be irritated.”

“Can’t be helped,” you tell her. “I still gotta look after my clients.”

Natasha grinned at you. You were definitely good for Bucky. It was good for him to have someone he couldn’t boss around, not that he wanted to do it anyway. He’d probably just fuss and be irritable.

____________

A clean bill of health given and everything with the baby doing fine, Natasha drove you home and let you out in front of the building, trusting Bucky’s guys on the inside and his security to take care of you the rest of the way up to the apartment.

You let yourself in and drop your bag by the door and kick your trainers into the closet. You had one thought. Bed. You just wanted to go back to bed and try and get some rest so you could get your work finished tonight. It was bad enough you weren’t getting overtime for it.

So by the time you stripped out of your scrubs and dived naked under the covers, snuggling into your small mountain of pillows and blankets, you’re in heaven.

At least until your alarm goes off to wake you back up to get ready.

The one saving grace is that you can wear whatever you want. So as you pull on leggings and a thick hoodie to keep you comfortable while you’re up and down all night. Shoes on, hair up, you bend to pick up your bag and have to struggle for just a second to pick it up and sigh. Pack on the table, you remind yourself. But still, as you walk to your car, you feel okay. Just the grogginess that comes with waking up after a nap in the middle of the day.

When you walked into the building, it was quiet. The retired hotel had been converted into efficiency apartments and offices. Horizons offered treatment, medication management, Therapy, and 24-hour staff supervision, and you managed all of it. Coordinated staff, services for clients, and events. It was all your purview. And you loved it as much as you hated all the mundane red tape. Still, as you settled in behind the desk with some tea and a stack of paperwork to do. It was gonna be a long night. But, it was going to be a good chance to get it all done.

_______

Bucky glared at Nat across the desk, “What do you mean she’s at work?”

“She’s at work,” Nat said, shrugging, “She pulled in as scheduled at 11:30.”

Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose, “How was her appointment?” he asked, taking a deep breath.

“Well. Going in was going to be awkward for both of us but a clean bill of health. No orders or prescriptions,” she answered, inspecting her nails.

He nodded slowly and exhaled, “Well, it looks like I’m headed across town.”

“She’s busy,” Nat said, rolling her eyes.

“I know,” he said, putting his jacket on, “But I’m still gonna get me a good night kiss.”

__________

When the side door opened, the metal locking mechanism echoing through the back hallway made you jerk upright. You half-turned to look at the security monitor and smiled a little.

Bucky.

You knew how he always knew where to find you. And why. What you didn’t know was how he always knew when you needed a pick me up. He either had a weirdly specific mutant power, or your security detail was more observant than you thought.

He walked around and leaned on the desk with a frown, “You’re supposed to be home in bed.”

“I already told her that,” Sharon yelled from the med room where she was putting away back stock.

“And I told you I’ll sleep tomorrow,” you sigh, fighting a yawn.

“And I told you that if you don’t start taking care of yourself, I’m gonna knock your scrawny ass into next week,” she threatened cheerfully.

“Then I’ll kick your ass on Thursday... Now get your goddamn meds done and go home,” you say, taking a sip of tea.

Bucky liked visiting you at work, he decided, chuckling. Your people adored you. And you loved them right back. “Here,” you say, pulling out a desk chair for Bucky, “Sit. Collate. The sooner I get this done, the sooner I can get home.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Bucky said, taking the seat and the stack of papers you slid over to him.

“How were your meetings,” you ask idly.

“Meetings,” he sighed, “So fucking long.”

You shake your head, “Can’t you just tell people to fuck off and do what you say?”

“Darlin’,” he says, laughing, “I been trying to do that with you for months. I’m the boss. Not a miracle worker.”

“I’m different,” you remind him.

“Oh?” he hums, kissing your cheek.

“I’m cute,” you say, tossing your hair.

Bucky shook his head but didn’t get a chance to respond. A client, a huge Hispanic man with his hair in a braid down his back, had loped into the commons with headphones on. Singing loudly.

You stand you and give him a sort of helpless, confused “The fuck?” gesture, and he stops and looks around, snatching his headphones off.

“Oh shit,” he groaned, “Is it quiet hours?”

“Yeah, for like an hour now.”

Shit. Sorry.” he said, turning back towards the elevator. “Oh wait!” he says, switching back and hurrying to the desk, “Hey, Sparky?”

“ ‘Sup Chava?” you ask, settling back in your chair with a groan.

“Can you look at my HUD shit? Irina told me she ain’t know how to do it.”

“Yeah,” you tell him yawning, “You can bring it down here real quick or shove it under my office door for Monday.”

“Monday?”

“There’s no one in the office for HUD after five on Friday,” you remind, “But I’ll be here at 7am. We can get it in before State comes in if I hustle.”

“Sparky, all you do is hustle,” he snorted.

“Somebody gotta,” you shrug.

Bucky sat back and watched the exchange. He didn’t understand your job. Not really. There were a lot of moving pieces and parts. What the fuck is HUD? What the blistered, bleeding fuck was he putting staples in and why did it matter if you were accredited.

It seemed to him like playing by the rules was more trouble than it was worth.

#Bucky Barnes #soft bucky #mob!bucky #Mob!AU #natasha romanoff #Bucky x reader #fluff #domestic fluff #protective!bucky

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