eddie: *accidentally hits steve in the face*

eddie’s high af mind: *trying to decide between saying ‘are you okay’ and ‘i’m sorry*

eddie: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY

steve: *chokes back tears* w-why-

*Steve wakes up to Eddie next to him* Eddie: How'd you sleep last night? Steve, sitting up fast: WHAT THE HELL?? Eddie: *falls to the floor* Steve: What were you doing in my bed? You were supposed to sleep on the air mattress on the floor! Eddie: I had a nightmare. Steve: You had a nightmare? What are you five years old?! Eddie: Listen, I needed to feel comfortable and I was getting this peversed power dynamic vibe from me sleeping on the ground and you sleeping up there. Steve: *sarcastically* Ah yes, how high and mighty I am up on my TWIN XL. Eddie: That is not what I meant. Steve: Silence in the presence of your king! Who sleeps a lofty 12 AND A HALF INCHES above the ground. Eddie: Listen, I'm not ashamed. I slept comfortably when I got up into your bed and I'm sure you did too. Steve: *sarcastically* Yeah, okay. Eddie: You know what? I wanna know. How'd you sleep last night? Steve: *sighs* Steve, mumbling: That was the best I've slept in a while.

Mike: I don’t have the energy for this. Will: For what? Mike: *gestures vaguely*

Will: How long does dress shopping usually take?

Mike: Knowing El and Max...

Lucas: ...we're doomed.

#strangerthings #strangerthingsfan #strangerthingsfandom #strangerthings3 #mikewheeler #willbyers #lucassinclair #incorrectquotes #strangerthingsincorrectquotes

eddie: i want to be a caterpillar. 

steve: explain? 

eddie: eat a lot, sleep for a while, wake up beautiful. 

steve: you know they also have a life span of like two weeks right? 

eddie: that is a highlight 

steve: eDdIe nO

robin: the doctor said i’m perfectly fine. except for this burn scar. and this broken rib- that’s right next to two other broken ribs. 

nancy: did the doctor clear you or not? 

robin: he did not alright lets get to work. 

eddie: *staring at a pregnant woman in public*

steve: she has a baby in her belly. 

eddie: *whispering* she ate it. 

eddie: my boyfriend isn’t home and i forget the english word for something and its bAd

dustin: i will assist???

eddie: you know that little sea bug with the stupid hands and it has a home but it changes it sometimes

dustin: hermit crab?

eddie: THATS THE BITCH.

Steve: I'm at a loss for words.

[later]

Dustin: Despite being at loss for words, he yelled at me for 45 minutes.

dustin: hey steve, did you know that ‘thot’ means ‘thoughtful person’?

steve: really?

[later]

steve: thanks for helping me hook up the wifi, eddie. you’re such a thot. 

eddie: *chokes* i’m a WHAT

dustin: you wanna hear a chemistry joke? 

mike: ...

dustin: is that a no? 

mike: i’m sorry did you want a reaction? 

dustin: *giggles and high-fives mike*

steve peeling a banana: may I take your jacket, sir? lol

robin: do you think other people can’t hear you?

Nancy: Why are Steve and Eddie sitting with their backs to each other?

Robin: They are fighting.

Nancy: Why are they holding hands then?

Robin: They get sad when they fight.

Dustin: Sleeping is nice because you’re not exactly dead but you’re not awake so it’s a win-win situation. 

Max: it’s like being dead without the commitment

Mike: an open relationship with death

Lucas: an every night stand

*from afar*

Fruity Four: *absolutely horrified*

dustin’s mother: dustin said a bad word at school today 

eddie: shit, why?

steve: what the fuck happened? 

robin: where the hell did he get that from? 

hopper: (side-eyeing murray) (speaking in russian that he learned from prison) so murray, what are we doing for dinner tomorrow? 

murray: (in russian) i’m not particular, why are you glaring at the child crow? 

hopper: (still in russian) you mean mike? i’m trying to get him to back off and leave el. do you like chinese? 

murray: (again in russian) *mad scientist smile at eleven* yeah i love chinese food. 

hopper and murray: (scowling at mike and eleven)

mike: does your dad know that i’m with will now? 

el:  no i would never out you guys. just put your hands up and back away.