BECAUSE THE ROOM WAS TOO SMALL

BECAUSE THE FOREST WAS TOO SMALL

BECAUSE THE GARBAGE DUMP WAS TOO SMALL

BECAUSE THE TABLE WAS TOO SMALL

🧍‍♂️ 👬 🧍‍♂️

Saturn by Sleeping at Last

Lyrics start around 2:20

You taught me the courage of stars before you left How light carries on endlessly, even after death With shortness of breath You explained the infinite And how rare and beautiful it is to even exist

I couldn't help but ask for you to say it all again I tried to write it down, but I could never find a pen I'd give anything to hear you say it one more time That the universe was made just to be seen by my eyes

I couldn't help but ask for you to say it all again I tried to write it down, but I could never find a pen I'd give anything to hear you say it one more time That the universe was made just to be seen by my eyes

With shortness of breath I'll try to explain the infinite And how rare and beautiful it is to even exist

With shortness of breath I'll try to explain the infinite And how rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist

late nights in baby zzz

My favorite post I’ve ever seen in spn tumblr was something to the effect of:

If Dean Winchester isn’t in love with Castiel, the only other possibility is that Jensen Ackles wants to fuck Misha Collins so bad that it makes Dean Winchester look stupid.

And if you’re the one who made that post please know that I legitimately think about it at least once a day. I think it’s so funny. Every single time I see a jenmish/cockles post or edit, I think of it. Every time I even see their names together or just hear in passing that they did a panel together or something. I just. I think of it all the time. Thank you for it.

Dr. Sexy 😘

Most of it = more than 7 seasons

Some of it = less than 7 seasons, but more than 1 season

okay okay okay so we all know sam and dean are allergic to personal space and practically live in each others' skin, but this scene really makes it glaringly obvious.

like every time dean tries to get closer to sam, trying to close the gap to their non-existent usual, sam takes a step back. as if we need more evidence that they're Not Normal™ about each other

The alley is maybe 20' wide, there aren't that many people around, and they're not discussing anything that suspicious out of context, especially not on a movie set. And yet they're walking closer than if they held hands, knocking elbows and poking ribs, heads leaning in.

Like a fine wine

I just woke up to Destiel News™ informing me of India becoming the first country to land on the lunar south pole of the moon with a budget lower than a goddamn hollywood film, like where else am I going to my news as clear cut and immediate as this? I love this app.

because the room was too small

there is interesting johndean subtext and insinuations across kripke era, usually through an antagonist insinuating parent-child sexual violence in order to exert dominance over dean. this type of mockery exploits that ambiguous relationship between john and dean and reminds dean that he never had a normal relationship with his father, and that makes him gross and wrong. it doesn't actually matter in the end whether john was sexually abusive to dean. the core of their relationship was damning enough: dean was made to take the place of john's wife—to comfort john and raise sam—while simultaneously being his son. the codependent nature of their relationship implies the incest that underscores their dynamic. again, this is regardless of what literally occurred between dean and john because there is enough doubt toward the nature of their relationship that multiple antagonists can use it against them.

sonwife, brotherhusband—dean is stuck in a liminal space between family and lover and is unable to put his feet firmly on just one side and instead has to accept both together or abandon both together. he doesn't get to have a relationship with his family without it being simultaneously incestuous. he plays the role of wife to john and mother to sam as mary's replacement; he therefore becomes more than a son and transcends the boundaries of the familial into the incestuous. it's baked into the dynamic and he can't hope to escape the liminality in which he's stuck without abandoning his entire family altogether.

this ambiguous relationship is further acted out with sam, where people perceive them as lovers rather than brothers; where their mutual devotion trumps, neglects, and disallows any other close relationship outside each other; where their physical closeness is viewed through an unusually sexual lens despite no literal sex acts between them taking place on screen. once again dean is stuck in a liminal space, paralleling the ambiguous and uncertain relationship he had with john.

in the end, sex (and sexual violence) is just a symbol of this codependency and uncertainly incestuous dynamic. sex acts in kripke era end up being symbolic: misinterpretations of sam and dean's relationship; accusations of sexual violence; literal, on-screen sexual moments between the brothers and someone else. it's a literary device that highlights the incestuous themes of the show. dean hand-picks women for sam to fuck because it allows dean to be symbolically part of sam's sex life. henricksen accuses john of raping dean because it is a symbol of the unhealthy, codependent relationship dean had with his father. the samulet stays on during sex because sam is symbolically integral to dean's sexual gratification (seen too in the way both dean and cassie in 1.13 appear to kiss the amulet at least once in the dark room). sex is used to signify more than what's literally on the screen, and the connections between the literal sex acts and the blurred lines of dean's familial relationships allow for a reading of incest between both john and dean and sam and dean.

it never mattered whether johndean or samdean had a sexual relationship in the canon because that was never the point. the point is the liminality that permeates the narrative. sam, dean, and john all stand upon a threshold between acceptable and taboo. the point of it all is the doubt and anxiety, the are-they-aren't-they that is never answered. the absence of incest within the text invites the understanding that the incest was, in fact, always there.

I absolutely adore this particular timeline I get to live in ‘cause it basically keeps saying “take your favourite childhood hyperfixation and turn it into a canonically very gay tv show”

Personal space? [x]

SUPTOBER DAY 01 - liminal in the beginning

4 And I looked, and, behold, a whirlwind came out of the north, a great cloud, and a fire infolding itself, and a brightness was about it, and out of the midst thereof as the colour of amber, out of the midst of the fire.

5 Also out of the midst thereof came the likeness of four living creatures. And this was their appearance;

— Ezekiel 1:4—5

Passing the time~