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ozzgin · 5 months

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Yandere! Yokai Harem x Reader (II)

The two yokai men reach an agreement and you begin your journey together, searching for clues regarding the mysterious case of your incomplete reincarnation. You learn about the third of the Legendary Yokai, a gargantuan monster worshipped in times of war.

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Character Guide]

The next swish of the mysterious man's sword is parred by Kiritsubo, who managed to make his way to you in time.

"Wait! It's not entirely him, Murasaki, I can explain!" He shouts frantically.

"So you let him live. This is why you've never been good for anything." The dark haired man snarls in a low voice, disgust seeping through his sharp teeth.

It becomes obvious rather quickly that he has the advantage in terms of battle experience. You can only stare in fear, stuffing your wound with your jacket sleeve. What else can you do? You're bleeding profusely and if a demon of Kiritsubo's stature cannot compete, you'd be even less helpful.

"Listen to him, man, I genuinely don't know anything about your master!" You beg as your limbs are flooded with a prickling sensation. They're slowly going numb. "Please. I just want to go home."

Damn it. You have no idea whether the bleeding will stop anytime soon. Is this how you die? You won't even get a proper burial. Even worse, your family will live on thinking you vanished without a trace, unaware you've been stabbed to death by a crazy jackass in feudal Japan. You wish you could make them stop.

You squeeze your eyes tightly, trying to think of a way to escape, when you hear both men groan in pain. You look ahead to see them on the ground, clinging tightly to their chests, faces twisted in a grimace. Huh? They couldn't have killed each other in the few seconds they were out of your view. What is going on?

After a few agonizing moments, the yokai seem to calm down. Kiritsubo is gasping for air, clumsily pulling himself back up. Murasaki remains on the grass, forcing himself to appear collected despite the cold sweat coating his forehead.

"That's...what...I...meant..." The silver haired demon groans between hitched breaths. "Whew. You see it now, don't you? She doesn't emanate enough power to pull this off. It's coming from somewhere else."

Murasaki clicks his tongue in visible annoyance.

"So then, what do you suggest?"

"I don't know. But something is stopping you from killing her and there's a chance she's connected to the source."

"What are you guys whispering about?" You inquire, crawling closer towards the horned men. "And why did you suddenly collapse? You scared the hell out of me!"

"You didn't feel anything?" Kiritsubo questions you with raised eyebrows.

"Besides the, I don't know, stab wound? No, thankfully." You respond sarcastically.

Without a word, Murasaki stands up and approaches you. He crouches down to your level and nonchalantly slaps your hand away from your shoulder.

"Hey!"

"Have you ever tended to a wound in your life? You're shit at it." He uses his sword to cut off your sleeve and folds it over your gash with calculated movements. You hiss at the pain and glare at him. "Bite down on a stick if you can't handle it. Better than being dead."

The white haired yokai flashes you an awkward but reassuring smile.

"He might be an ass about it, but he knows what he's doing."

"Why are you helping me, anyways?" you point out, somewhat wary. "You literally tried to kill me a moment ago."

"I changed my mind. You'll help us find the damned bastard or whatever it is he's using to control us."

"What, the priest? Hell no, I'm going back to my world. I've had enough action for the rest of my life."

Murasaki finishes bandaging you and gives you one final press, almost as if messing with you, and you wince. He stands up and slides his sword back in its sheath.

"If you focus a little, you will find there was no question or request in my words. I'm not negotiating with a weakling like you."

Kiritsubo squats down before you and claps his hand together, pleadingly.

"Please think about it, (Y/N). I know you don't owe us anything, but there's a chance we could finally break the seal and be free. If you'd consider helping us. You can walk away, but that won't change the fact you're part of Abe no Nakamaro. He will want his powers back at some point, and we can protect you when the time comes."

You cross your arms and frown thoughtfully, pondering the options. He did save you twice already. So in a way, you're indebted to him. And if he's right, and you will have to deal with more crazy encounters in the future, it's probably better to have two powerful demons by your side.

"Alright, alright. I'll help you." You exclaim with a confident nod.

Kiritsubo grins, satisfied, and Murasaki huffs and looks away. There's a prolonged silence as you wait for them to continue with further instructions, but the men remain quiet.

"So...what now?" you eventually speak up.

"Oh. I thought you knew where to go next." the silver haired man retorts, confused.

"Idiot. She's not a compass." Murasaki scolds him. "Can you stand?" He adds, turning to you. "There's a shrine a few kilometers away that belonged to him. If we leave now, we should make it before sunset. Maybe we can find something there."

You try to prop yourself up, but Kiritsubo promptly scoops you with his sinewy arm and throws you on his back again.

"I'll carry you. Just hold on."

A faint blush dusts your cheeks, but you don't have the energy to argue it. You clutch onto his broad shoulders and nod.

The walk is uneventful and both yokai seem to be distracted. The gentle swaying is causing you to be more comfortable than you'd like to admit and your eyelids become heavy with exhaustion. Before you know it, your head drops against the toned back and you fall asleep.

By the time you open your eyes again, you've already reached your destination. You yawn and stretch, lazily scanning the surroundings. A heavy shadow looms over you and you glance up. Still groggy from your nap, you scream before you can fully process the object towering above.

It's a statue. A colossal statue of some sort of monster. A demon with thick, wide bull horns sprawling out imposingly, almost eclipsing the ridiculously muscular build. The creature has four arms, flexed in a threatening manner, with one hand gripping a heavy spear and the other a skull. The crimson light of the sunset creeps through the windows and reflects against the chiseled clay, giving the statue a devilish glow. You feel insignificant.

"That's Suma."

"W-what?" your head tilts to Kiritsubo.

"He's one of us. You might meet him soon, if he's been alerted of your presence. This is a shrine built for him, to bring good fortune during times of war."

You cannot help but gawk at the structure.

"Is it, uh, life sized?"

"Heh, almost. He's a little taller than this." He chuckles, slightly nostalgic.

You swallow dryly. Just a moment ago you thought Kiritsubo was unusually big.

"I'd rather not meet him, to be honest." You shiver at the idea.

"Don't worry about it. Now that Murasaki has joined us, you're pretty much safe from anything. He's the strongest of us." The yokai remarks with a sad smile.

"Really?"

You peek at the dark haired man, currently flipping through dusty manuscripts, and briefly observe him. Compared to Kiritsubo, he's quite slender, with noble, elegant features. And he'd be able to defeat this enormous beast? Then again, the glimpse you've caught of his swordsmanship is enough of a convincing argument.

What a bizarre gathering of creatures beyond your understanding.

You remember to look away when Murasaki grunts and throws the remaining scroll of paper. His lips form a thin line as he rakes his mind for the next step.

"Nothing here. But I'm rather certain he has to be at one of his hideouts. We'll check each and one of them if we have to."

"Wait, are you saying he's still alive? We saw his body before Sekiya and Sakaki took him for the embalming and burial."

Murasaki scoffs at his partner's gullible nature.

"And you believed it? That parasite spent his entire life searching for ways to prolong his reign. He's probably hiding somewhere, waiting for his renewed part of the soul to return to him."

He rests against the wall and points a clawed finger at you.

"This must've been his solution. Releasing his remaining energy until it found a proper vessel to grow stronger, and patiently awaiting the body swap. Then we go back to being whipped dogs fulfilling his whims."

It's your turn to be outraged, twisting your mouth downwards.

"No way, I'll pound that old man into sand!" You bark and throw a jab against the air, emphasizing your threat. "As if I'd just hand myself over."

"I'm not sure if it'll be that easy, (Y/N)..." Kiritsubo glances at you with a hurt expression. "He's a terrifying, vengeful bastard."

"Not if we find him first and take him out." Murasaki counters with a glint of determination in his eyes. "Humans need to rest, don't they? We'll spend the night here and tomorrow we head out. Kiritsubo, find me a map so we can keep track of the locations. I'll bring the wood for a fire."

And with this, he marches out. Kiritsubo scurries to his duty and you quietly follow his movements. He seems to be used to executing Murasaki's orders. You hadn't considered their group dynamic much, but it appears to have some rather complex hierarchies involved. You almost wish you could witness all of them together, wondering how they'd interact with each other.

Who knows? If you stick around, it could happen eventually. Murasaki was surprisingly easy to convince, so the other yokai might as well agree to keep you alive until you find their source of misfortune. Heh. Almost like a harem, or something. You snicker to yourself.

Which reminds you...

The fire has been lit and Murasaki mumbles something about guarding the perimeter. This time you hurry outside after him. You reach out to the dark haired man and pull on his kimono sleeve.

He turns to you, mildly irked.

"What?"

"Teach me how to use a sword." You state with the assertiveness of an order.

"Why? I can assure you I'm more than enough. I've never been defeated." He stares at you, incredulous.

"I don't want to rely on you all the time. You're already this close to being unbearable", you explain, pinching your fingers together. "Besides, if I'm going to be stuck among beasts, I'd very much prefer being the one doing the cool stuff."

And with that, you pretend to slice through an invisible enemy, whistling the sound of your sword cutting through the air. You furrow your eyebrows, imitating the engrossed expression of a seasoned samurai in the middle of a battleground. Murasaki quickly lifts a hand to his mouth - did he chuckle just now? - and responds, the faintest amusement in his voice:

"As you wish. But I'm warning you now, I won't hold back."

"I've been injured twice in less than 24 hours, I'm sturdy enough." You answer, patting your chest proudly.

Next time one of the Legendary Yokai comes for you, you won't be as vulnerable. That's for sure.

#female reader #yandere #yandere x you #yandere x reader #yandere x darling #monster x reader #yandere yokai #yokai x reader #yandere demon #yandere monster #yandere scenarios #yandere imagines #male yandere x reader #yandere original character #yandere oc #original character #original work #yokai oc

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fp-am · 2 months

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Alan: My friend and I got into a huge fight over the question “how deep can a pan get before it becomes a pot?” It took half an hour before we realized what we were arguing about.

Second: Pan has one handle, pot has two.

Blue: I definitely have pots with one handle..

Yellow: ..Oh shit.

Green: I always thought a pan has the long handle and pots had no handle or two looped handles.

Blue: No handle? That’s like cooking on expert, yeah?

Chosen: Never seen a pot with two handles in my life.

Second: It’s the FIRST image on Google for pot! Have you ever been in a kitchen?

Purple: Once sauce becomes soup, obviously.

Red: But if you make soup in a saucepan, is it still soup? Would sauce in a soup pan become soup?

King: Pan is square, pot is circle.

Green: ????

Blue: 3 inches is sauté pan, 4 inches is a pot.

Purple: What if it’s 3.5 inches? Is it.. a… bloody jacuzzi.. for.. bloody jacuzzi for… bloody guinea pigs?!

Chosen: Every pan is a pot, not every pot is a pan.

Second: You have it backwards though. Every pot is a pan, not every pan is a pot.

Red: Get wrecked! Are you saying I cook my baked beans in a fucking pan? You daft wanker.

Dark: IF. YOU. CAN’T… BOIL. AN. EGG. IN. IT. IT’S. NOT. A. POT, YOU. JACKASS!

Yellow: Too lazy to reason with you all, but once the height of the pan is more than ⅓ of the radius of the bottom, it’s a pot, not a pan.

All: ….

Second: How curved can a frying pan be before it becomes a wok?

source: https://youtu.be/Oo2xvC0xuoY?si=Hn8sR5XYho4loQyA at 5:09

youtube

#alan becker #animation vs animator #ava #animation vs minecraft #avm #ava the second coming #ava tsc #ava the chosen one #ava tco #ava blue #ava green #ava yellow #ava red #ava tdl #ava the dark lord #avm king bronze #avm king #avm purple #Youtube

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prismatic-bell · 17 days

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Wait, you're the one who doxxed a native person who called you out for being ableist towards addicts? And nowadays you're a Zionist who says that we can't trust the United Nations Palestinian death toll because they're controlled by Hamas?? AND you deny the police brutality towards peaceful protesters???

1) I don’t know how many times I have to explain to people that reading someone’s bio is not fucking doxxing.

2) I did not say the UN is controlled by Hamas. I said they give special treatment to Palestine, and that there is indeed evidence they are working with Hamas. Learn to fucking read.

3) on which note, are you aware they just wildly altered their own numbers a few days ago without warning and made no announcement about it? NO, I don’t fucking trust the UN.

4) ah yes. Peaceful protests WHERE SOMEONE GOT STABBED IN THE EYE FOR WEARING A STAR OF DAVID NECKLACE. Where “protestors” are throwing drinks on Jewish students who are just trying to get to their dorms. Where they’re chanting that they love terrorists. Where colleges have advised Jewish students to stay away for their own safety. Where “protestors” are waving signs with the Israeli flag on them that say FINAL SOLUTION. Where a Jewish student was beaten unconscious for hanging up Bring Them Home posters. THOSE peaceful protests.

5) arresting people who are an active danger to other people is not police brutality. I’m aware police were authorized to use rubber bullets at one of the arrest sites, but I’m not aware of them being used, and I have asked multiple times for someone to show me an article, an arrest report, ANYTHING that indicates they actually were, but when I do I just get incoherent shrieking about how I’m a genocide denier, which tells me no proof exists.

Now if you have seen such an article, from a reliable source, and would like to share it without being an asshole incapable of basic reading comprehension, I would be glad to read it and cross-check it. Even spoiled ignorant jackasses who support terrorism and wave flags that say “a curse upon the Jews” are owed due process. But don’t come into my inbox making multiple false accusations that demonstrate you’ve fandomized a 2000-year-old problem and expect me to take you the least bit seriously.

#you ask nina answers #Nina blogs antisemitism #the piss on the poor website

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cellarspider · 3 months

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Part 3/??: Meet David

(Previous) | (Index) | (Next)

We return to the movie I want to bite down on with all of my teeth, Prometheus.

This time, we meet a man so bored he has invented new solo sports and started doing his hair like his blorbo, T.E. Lawrence.

Meet David (Michael Fassbender). He’s implied to be a little over two years old, and he’s been completely alone for the vast majority of his life.

Actually, I lied. The movie first wants to throw another small strain on our suspension of disbelief: David has a VR visor he can use to view the dreams of the human crew in suspended animation. This is technically a plot point, and thus it is delivered with all the grace of this deer.

youtube

I cannot emphasize enough how clunky the movie becomes when plot or deliberate character arcs are being communicated through dialog scenes.

We find out from dream-peeping that Elizabeth Shaw’s father (horror actor Patrick Wilson) was a devout christian of some variety, possibly a missionary, and her mom died when she was young. She was given a cross necklace, which we see in blurry montage-o-vision before David wanders off.

We see David’s routine: Pick up tiny specks of dust, send out first contact messages and receive no response, perfect the lonely sport of solo bicycle-riding shootout, eat android breakfast and take a Proto-Indo-European language lesson, watch Lawrence of Arabia (1962) while dying his roots, quote the most Definitely Not Suffering line to himself over and over again as he does his hair like Peter O’Toole and wanders the halls, waiting for something to happen. “The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts.”

David is going to later profess to have no emotions, but I think that given the chance, he would at least admit his enclosure needs enrichment.

This is one of the strongest scenes in the movie. David is a novel creation of humanity, and he has been left alone, with only the memories and dreams of humans to extrapolate off of. He has been abandoned without thought for his needs, stuffed down into Plato's Cave. We don’t know yet whether the people on the ship see him as a person, but we know they’re thoughtless in how they’ve treated him. He’s bright, he’s inventive, he’s chosen a way he wants to be seen, but he’s seen by no one.

I’m sure this is going to turn out great for everybody.

And as a side note, while I didn’t know it at the time, David’s language tutor is the actual historical linguist that they employed for the movie, Anil Biltoo. His and Fassbender’s pronunciations were strong enough that even a hobbyist in linguistics could tell that they were really, really trying to get it right. They even reference Schleicher’s fable, the first piece of text anyone ever created from reconstructed Proto-Indo-European. This level of nerdy detail made me excited.

Side note to the side note, Biltoo also has an introductory textbook on Sanskrit you can buy, if you’re a maniac like I am.

This scene kept part of me hopeful for the rest of the movie, because it’s so strong. The “not minding that it hurts” line is a little on the nose, but overall it has the feel of something that could be expanded into an extremely melancholy short film. Or, hell, a Tarkovsky-esque feature film. Moon (2009) could be another point of comparison. In any case, this scene gives you a little space to feel all the quiet suffering of David’s existence.

But unfortunately for the movie as a whole, this sets David up as the most sympathetic character. I personally had already been drawn in by the promotional “advert” for the David-8 model android (see part 1). Now I was invested in this particular David’s story. The rest of the film didn’t manage to yank back much sympathy for anybody else.

Because the general vibe I soon picked up from the rest of the crew was that they were absolute hooting jackasses.

⛬

(Previous) | (Index) | (Next)

⛬

Sources alt-text facts:

1. https://www.denofgeek.com/movies/how-ron-perlman-nearly-ruined-the-alien-resurrection-basketball-shot/ 2. https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0766970/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t50

#Prometheus 2012 #Lawrence of Arabia is 131 years old in this movie #For a point of comparison:#that's like someone today basing their style off of Mark Twain's Pudd'nhead Wilson #Not the worse choice but certainly not the first one someone would reach for

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heartsoji · 1 year

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being the inarizaki vb club's precious manager hcs

summary: you sign up to be the boys vb team manager bc like why not you'd prob get some good organization skills but you end up gaining some bffs, some bruises, and a whole crew of bodyguards

warnings: a liiiiiittle bit of swearing and mentions of harassment also its not proofread

you signed up to be the manager for the boy's vb team not knowing what it would be like

it was ur second year of high school and u had quit abt 7 clubs bc they just weren't that interesting

not like in a mean way like "ugh! this is too boring for my tastes smh" but just it didn't have any appeal so u smiled and resigned with no hard feelings yk

IT WASNT LIKE A SALTY QUIT U JUST COULDNT FIND ANYTHING THAT WAS FUN AND THAT U WERE PASSIONATE ABT I CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH ITS NOT LIKE THAT GIRL'S HOST HOPPING THING FROM OURAN

tbh u just didn't rly know what other club to sign up for and the boys vb team needed a manager soo..

they honestly should have just put "babysitting some brats that are somehow the same age" instead of "managing the boy's volleyball team"

they are so protective of you lol

like this one time you let out a little scream bc some random teacher touched your no-no square in a very intentional way

the vb team was THERE in 2 seconds flat

kita stares at him intensely while holding back the twins by their shirt to keep them from quite literally MURDERING THAT MAN

aran calms down ginjima and akagi who literally just start hyperventilating

suna stares at him. hard.

the twins who are unable to attack him just scream

"WHAT. DID. YOU. DO. TO. OUR. MANAGER U FUCKING JACKASS" etc

the teacher got fired the next day funny coincidence huh ?

ANYWAYS

kita is actually helpful

he's canonically good at keeping ur fellow second years in check so lucky u !

hes also rly organized and tidy which is v helpful !

aran is such a sweetie

helps u out in any way that he can

also acts a pillow to some of kita's blunt blows

like "he means that he's sorry bc he realized that he seems kinda unappreciative of ur efforts sometimes" when kita says smth like "sorry for not saying nice words to you"

a translator for kita, basically

akagi shares ur puppy energy so the two of u get along rly well

ur both friendly ppl so its a v sweet and wholesome relationship

u sometimes have to stop gin from making bad decisions but ugs get along well

also ugs r both second years so ur classes r on the same floor so u see each other in school sometimes

as for the main 3 brats AKA some of your fellow second years who somehow become ur new bffs

atsumu is SUCH A FLIRT but like jokingly bc that's just how he is yk

always talking to you and annoying you like atsumu would u just like stfu pls and thanks

osamu is constantly slapping atsumu to provoke him (which is so stupid tbh but works every single time lmao)

is always eating like u turn around during class and he's just eating an onigiri behind his folder 😐

ugs like to gang up on atsumu its a great bonding activity

you and suna r sleep buddies bc u both r so sleep-deprived

well suna's just a sleepy person but u r sleep deprived so ugs will sleep side-by-side during free periods

suna always forgets his lunch so u've learned to pack extra for him

you let him sleep on ur lap and he lets u sleep in his

when the four of u take buses or trains to hang out u and suna always sit next to each other so that ugs can fall asleep on each other

if ur up for it he'll cuddle with u platonically

bc ppl r great body pillows and a good source of warmth

only if ur comfy with it tho ofc

the twins (mostly atsumu but a bit of osamu) will tease ugs abt being a couple but both of ugs just roll ur eyes and go back to sleep lmao

you ended up staying to be their manager for the rest of high school bc of how much fun it is

#kita shinsuke #ojiro aran #ginjima hitoshi #akagi michinari #miya atsumu #miya osamu #suna rintaro #suna cuddles #manager hcs #haikyuu #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu headcanons #inarizaki #inarizaki hcs #haikyuu drabbles

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yesterdayiwrote · 6 months

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https://www.reddit.com/r/formula1/s/44akH7yohv

Oh dear, oh dear. Toto and Susie could be in trouble.😂

So... I saw this yesterday and I started to write out a rant about it and i never got around to posting it, so this gives me a great chance to say it now.

I think it's really important to look deeper into this story for a moment because as much as I think Toto can be a jackass, there's a healthy dose of misogyny craftily baked in to this that makes me question its legitimacy.

A) Business F1 Magazine is owned/run by a guy called Tom Rubython and he is... not the best source. He was responsible for the article a few years back, defending Mazepin and saying he was a James Hunt-esque 'bad boy' and F1 desperately needed him to inject glamour back in to it. The magazine also wrote a multi page article detailing the love lives of each driver and it still remains to be seen what its relevance was to a Business magazine except to go, "Oooo look how much these boys fuck!"

B) This is framed as Toto being the problem, but it's quite categorically accusing Susie of being the one being indiscreet because surprise surprise, of course its the woman who spreads gossip. Susie is not the only person who speaks to Greg Maffei, and we've all seen how much these TPs like to bitch and complain.

C) We've also seen Stefano Domenicali hanging out socially with ALOT of these TPs. Why does the gossip pipeline he proposes have to be Susie > Greg > Stefano, when it is far more simple to be Random TP mouthing off > Stefano. Also notice how he brings up Shaila Ann Rao, who was an FIA employee so unconnected to Stefano. So the two strong, highly placed women that have links to Toto are gossips who spread rumours, and the catalogue of MEN in the paddock who all have close connections and existing work and business relationships with teams in the paddock couldn't possibly be guilty of loose lips? That would never happen. Jean Todt, Ross Brawn and Stefano Domenicali were all ex-Ferrari employees and all held the 3 highest F1 related jobs at the same time and noone batted an eyelid. Also... Zak and Mattia were the loudest voices about who had broken cost cap, not Toto so I'm not sure why it keeps falling back to him, except for the fact he had a connection to the woman they were randomly blaming.

D) Drive to Survive is scripted, but we've seen Christian and Gunther both discuss paddock business with their wives, so we know they ALL chat to people about stuff going on. That paddock is a fucking sieve. The fact this goes on about unnamed sources, and brings up the weird accusation about red bull employees kids being bullied again... sounds like this is a specific anti-Toto hit piece, and it's written by the guy who has already made it clear he hates women, so who better to try and bring down with him than his well connected wife.

It's bullshit, stirring up old gripes to try and create a drama and fill column inches after an incredibly dull and event less season and based on the bullshit notion that women gossip and men don't. Even reddit took the post down because it was deemed 'low quality'.

#F1 #toto wolff #susie wolff #mercedes amg f1

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fatgumsurpremacy-remastered · 1 year

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(5eraphim) ok so- your choice of characters and how many, but who do you think would be the scariest when their jealous?

RATTI! I have actually wondered the exact thing. I’m assuming you meant yanderes so I’m actually really excited for this.

TW: Jealousy, Guns, breif mentions tourture, blackmail.

It’s in alphabetical order, I’ll specify ranks after entry. (MLA has screwed me up.) Sorry if it wasn’t too long, feel free to ask me to expand if you’d like!

Demoman: Tavish only really gets sassy when he’s jealous. He’s more likely to give his S/O the quiet treatment when jealous. If someone were trying to make him jealous however he’d use a well placed mine to get the message across. It’s nothing scary at all unless you don’t like being ignored. 3/10

Engineer: Engie is the guy who seethes in quiet. He doesn’t let a single person know his next move, much less what he’s thinking or feeling. He’s more than willing to put a peaceful resolve on an issue if he can but he doesn’t shake grudges. He gathers information, and could decimate a man’s entire image in one strategic move. It’s safe to say that Engie is rational and won’t jump to conclusions, but it he suspects you to be trying to make him jealous he’s terrifying. 8/10

Heavy: I can’t see Heavy instigating anything, his intimidation comes from his stature and that’s really what he uses. Misha hurts quite a bit when he feels jealous but the most it will translate to is a shove or another. It’s just enough to get his point across, but it’s not violent. At least not infront of his S/O. He might not be so forgiving if they’re not around. 6/10

Medic: Medic doesn’t even realize he’s jealous until his rhythm is thrown off, so it’s a bit of an emotional curveball. Medic will act spontaneously, but when he does it’s a punishment on either end. The one who made him jealous and his S/O. His punishments can be brutal and mentally scarring, those who made him jealous never make it out in one piece. 9/10

Pyro: Pyrovison be damned this man gets livid. Pyros intentions are clear from the moment he feels that pang in his chest. It’s not a sense of entitlement with Pyro. Its the need to protect, his S/O will not be hurt but god save the poor souls who made him feel like this. His approach is anything but friendly and is more akin to a predators stalking. Out of each of the mercs with their emotions Pyro is much more feeling of his and it definitely shows. 10/10

Scout: Scouts a very loud jealous person, and this comes across as looking cocky. He’s violent to the jackass who made him jealous and pouty to his S/O for ever giving that person the time of day. He’s whiny all around and won’t leave that argument without bruises, But each time hes made up his mind to kill the dude who did this. 5/10

Sniper: Chances are that it wasn’t even close to being intentional. If Mick is jealous he hasn’t ran off with you yet. But when he’s jealous mundy is the source of constant anxiety in his victims, making their life hell. That shot sure could have been a bulb going out, but do you think a normal person would take that risk. Mick relies on his position to invoke fear into his targets, but he wouldn’t injure them till he’s made up his mind. 8/10

Soldier: Soldiers jealousy is known to everyone on the base and he will attack out of the blue. He can be standing next to the person that made him jealous and will just pull out a gun to shoot them. His unpredictability has his teammates and those in public with a brain walking on eggshells. His fearsomeness comes from delusional and erratic behavior which makes him 7/10

Spy: While spy has had a lot of practice keeping his emotions inside, he’s also very passionate. Passionate to the point of confrontation and if that doesn’t work he’ll pull you from each and every person you hold dear. Long enough to get his point across, if this doesn’t work he places suspicion upon them for your abscesses. Effectively keeping them far far from you. He’s the second to last to resort to anything physical to prove himself. 5/10

#yandere Demoman #yandere engineer #yandere Heavy #yandere medic #yandere Pyro #yandere scout #yandere sniper #yandere soldier #yandere spy #yandere tf2

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welcome-to-green-hills · 3 months

Note

Okay so I know that sometimes you get leaks right? Sometimes you have people give you leaks and stuff? Like how you were given the leak for frontiers dlc a few months before the game came out. And how you have movies leaks?

Have you ever received a leak that you knew was fake?

Hahaha! Oh, boy! I have!😅

There’s one that has always stuck with me. I use this one as an example every once in a while when teaching others to trust sources.

Back in 2022, my friends and I were met with this “tipper” that claimed that he had Sonic 3 leaks. The funny thing about this one was that any time he talked to my friends and myself, the information changed. The “tipper” didn’t know that my friends and I were sharing screenshots of the leak to confirm authenticity. That’s how we knew that this guy was a fraud. Any time the conservation came to an end, we’ve made it a point for the “tipper” to talk to each of us by ourselves.

By the time he came to talk to me, the supposed leak change four times. I was told the most chaotic and unbelievable things. Stuff like Knuckles’ age, Sonic’s sexuality, how many movies Paramount wanted, and creating a character to replace Tails entirely. All really weird things. The “tipper” even tried to make it a point in saying that he was Pat Casey’s best friend. That was his selling point—I had to believe this guy because he claimed to be Pat Casey’s best friend. Let me just say the first lie that he told my friends was that he was an inside reporter for a known Hollywood magazine.

If you know me, you know that I have an unhealthy obsession with SCU. Any time I asked a question, he would say to check the interviews that the writers made to prove his point. Which, mind you, were all wrong from this “tipper.” His information contradicted info from the SCU Crew. And then he made the final claim that a fandom ship would be canon to the films, but with drastic changes. These changes were supposed to be Amy would be in the fourth film, she was supposed to be relatively older with a slow burning romance that extended into five films and her dating a really young Sonic.

When I showed the “tipper” that his story changed four times via screenshots, questioned the VA for Shadow (he claimed it was Tom Cruise once, Matt Daemon the second time), showed information regarding ships from SEGA, and public interviews that the SCU Crew did for the films, the conversation quickly turned into how I wasn’t a true fan because I didn’t ship sonamy. Apparently, I had to accept that sonamy was canon and that it was the equivalent of a sin to not ship it. (He claimed it was practically canon because of their color schemes, as well as the plot point in SatBK). I also got a comment of how it was wrong to headcanon someone’s sexuality and that Sonic would be a hard straight male. It was both hysterical and awful.

Hysterical being that someone went out of the way to fabricate an entire lie. Awful being that someone was so uncomfortable with the idea of LGBTQAI+ headcanons—and not shipping specific characters together—that they had to make someone feel horrible.

And you know what’s worse than that? It creates a stereotype for those that like a particular ship. It really ruins it for those that love a ship and want to share their love for it, but are afraid to. I’m not a sonamy fan. I do, however, feel bad for those that ship it. Because there’s jackasses like what my friends and I have encountered that ruin it for those that enjoy it. That’s not fair. And I’m so sorry that this is still a problem. People like that ruin it for the good ones. Not everyone that you encounter in the fandom—or in any fandom—will act like this. Please know that I don’t care about what you do and don’t ship. What I care about is if you’re happy. As long as you’re happy, then I’m happy.

But yeah, when it comes to leaks, always question its authenticity. And know if you’re not sure about something you’re more than welcome to ask me. I don’t mind looking into leaks and asking the tough questions.

#mystery anon #off topic

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pettyrevenge-base · 19 days

Text

Jackass in a BMW thinks he can park in front of the handicap ramp at our church.

I had just arrived at church. A good friend Kyle was in his custom electronic wheelchair and he was furious. You see someone had parked a new BMW right in front of the ramp that Kyle uses to get in. Well I went inside and got a wheelchair. I went down the steps and picked him up and carried him to the church's wheelchair. I then, with 3 other guys we picked up and carried Kyle's chair to the top of the stairs. After I put Kyle in his chair and went to my car. I pulled up so close they could not move their car. I then went into the church and joined the service. About 45 minutes a man enters and looked around so I got up and asked him if I could help him. He stayed someone blocked him in. We went outside and I said how inconvenient. I then proceeded to tear this guy a new a-hole. After me chewing them out for 15 minutes I said they would have to wait. They were furious and threatening to call 911 claiming that they were being held against their will. Well I had already called the police on the non emergency line. When the police finally showed up I backed up. They were spinning a story when the cop asked why they were parked in front of the ramp. As he chewed them out I just walked away smiling. The got multiple tickets.

Source: reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge

#pettyrevenge #lol #omg

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eternitas · 21 days

Text

Just follow the rules

A Oneshot about Sergey giving new recruits a small tour and introducing them to Lorenzo and Ava.

"Aaand Silvio di Noia?"

The young recruit lifted his hand with an assertive "here!" when he heard his name being called. The man that had just listed all the new Rain Division members nodded and then put the list away into his pocket.

"Great! So again for everybody: My name is Sergey Shouta. I am one of the two Second in Command of the Rain Division. I will be your main person of contact for any and all questions or reports. I'll quickly show you around HQ and tell you the different rules we have. And I mean the unwritten ones. For the codex you have the booklets you were given after passing your evaluation. Anyone who hasn't received one, see me after class. Allright! Let's get moving, andiamo!"

The small group started to move and Sergey explained them the functions of each different area. The kitchen, the breakrooms, the quarters, report rooms, research and libraries, the archive, meeting rooms, the infirmary- while listing a myriad of rather mundane trivia and regulations.

"Make sure to plan in time for putting your stuff away, when you use the kitchen, people WILL be annoyed and come for you. It's also always good to keep your most valuable ingredients in your room, you'll have a fridge there. The fridge and pantry in the kitchen just have the usual regular ingredients, locally sourced."

"Keep the breakrooms clean, it's just a matter of respect. Also first come first serve, so if someone is already using the breakroom you'll have to find another place, especially when someone is resting. However we do have a ranking and seniority system, so if a squadron needs the space for mission briefing you'll have to move."

"The breakrooms also have the liquor cabinet, but I suggest you to keep your hands off of there, since it's usually used by the officers and Second in Comand. The boss has his own cabinet."

"Breakroom 3 also has gaming consoles. Oh yeah and don't even think about stealing. We are completely wired and each community room is surveiled. If you try something, you'll be lucky if you just lose a limb. Also don't just fucking steal from us? We're paying pretty well, there is no reason for that."

As they approached the quarters two very loud voices could be heard fighting.

Sergey seemed to ignore that and passed a corner only to stop in his tracks, when he realized the hall was blocked by two men. A young man with light blue hair and a taller guy with dark red hair.

"-absolutely insufferable!"

They were both wildly using their hands and whole arms as they argued as well.

"You just need to fucking deal with the fact, that I and everyone else in the storm division don't give a shit about that!"

"Well you should give a shit considering this is entirely your fault that is then hindering everybody elses work!"

"It's not my fault you don't seem to be flexible enough to work around that!"

Sergey nodded and turned on his heel, as someone raised his voice in protest.

"Why are we leaving? Let's just pass th-"

Before the newbie could finish his sentance a throwing knife flew straight towards his forhead and would've made a clean landing if Sergey hadn't caught it midair, just in time.

The shorter man grew even angrier.

"That's our members, you jackass!"

"Well, how about you teach them some fucking manners?!"

"We're already leaving! We're already leaving." Sergey loudly, but calmly said, gently placing the knife on a nearby windowsill, before he lead everyone back from where they came.

"Don't take it personal." He tried to sooth the new guy who was now completely pale which looked unnatural on his tanned skin.

"The guy who threw the knife was Lorenzo Rodriguez, Second in Comand of the Storm Division, I'd suggest you don't piss him off, he's short tempered when he is stressed. And he is always stressed. The other one was our second Second in Command, Ava Muramasa. He's pretty chill, but Lorenzo really manages to push his buttons. When you see those two arguing just make a 360 turn and moonwalk away."

The rest of the tour was rather uneventful. Sergey was a cool guy, funny and his explanations were understandable and pretty lighthearted. If you cut out their encounter with Ava and Lorenzo, then this place wasn't that much different than any other work. It almost seemed too casual for a place full of assassines.

Once the tour was done and they had also been able to visit the quarters, luckily now free of the two fighting men, the group slowly disperesed. Silvio stayed however and fidgeted a bit before he looked towards Sergey, who noticed the stare and gave an encouraging smile.

"What's up?"

"I was just wondering... why does the Rain Division have two Second in Command?"

Sergey nodded at the question and gestured for Silvio to follow him as he talked.

"The Rain Division is the one that needs to be most self sufficient. While the other officers can be rather absent and more or less capable of leading their division, Captain Squalo is the Second in Comand of the entire organisation. He is the biggest fish here right after the boss, pun fully intended, and is usually busy with handling a lot of the things that come up for the officers. He's kind of the general manager of everything and has his work everywhere at once. So he decided to put two of us in charge, people he can trust and who can hold their own in a fight."

"The way you caught that knife was amazing." Sergey laughed warmly.

"Thanks! But Lorenzo didn't mean to kill Alonso. If he had wanted to, he wouldn't have made it so easy for me to interfere. He was just annoyed that someone was butting in." He hummed.

"I suppose their arguing is some sort of twisted foreplay."

"Foreplay?!" Silvio felt his cheeks flush, issuing another laugh from Sergey.

"You'd never imagine, but those two have great synergy. They work better together than even Ava and I do. Lorenzo is the only one that knows how to rile Ava up and in turn Ava helps Lorenzo with his stress."

"That doesn't sound healthy..."

"It isn't! Never said it was!" Sergey laughed again. "But can you really expect healthy relationships from a bunch of murderers?"

The young recruit didn't know what to answer to that. And before he had realized it they were at the kitchen.

"Grab a bite and then clock in for the night. Tomorrow at 8 you can check the mission board. Oh and one more thing!"

Sergey grinned widely.

"Welcome to the Varia, Silvio!"

It was 20 minutes after 1 o'clock in the night when Ava managed to finish up his daily tasks, making his way towards the breakroom on the first floor to unwind, before he went to bed. He opened one of the heavy doors to the breakroom and hesitated for a moment, when he saw the light still on. A quick look over the room and he noticed someone laying on the couch. An unmistakable figure. His mood dropped as he recognized Lorenzo, but something else caught his eye and he decided to quietly enter the room.

On the table in the back he found a stack of reports. All pre-mission reports and follow ups from the Storm Division, worked over and corrected. While still not completely up to standart it was leagues better than what Ava had to deal with prior. For the amount and timeframe he had done this in, this was rather impressive. And it's all the reports that involve the Rain Division too....

Ava looked up and towards the sofa where Lorenzo was resting with a towel over his eyes. Ava approached him quietly to stare at his face and then noticed the few papers scattered on the floor and the remaining few trapped between his fingers and his torso. The red hair was falling back, but Ava saw a few strands straying away. Mindlessly he reached out and tried to stroke them out of Lorenzos face, when he felt the sudden bloodlust.

A hand grabbed Avas wrist and twisted him to lose footing, crashing against the suddenly empty couch. In the next moment, Lorenzo had Ava pinned down onto the couch, hands tightly on his wrists.

"What do you think you're doing?" Lorenzo said lowly before he registered the tucked leg between his own torso and Avas. One swift jerk and he'd have a foot in his groin and would be pushed back. Not that he truly had expected Ava to let himself be manhandled like that.

"I had planned to rework the reports. But you already did that. Thank you." Ava said calmly, but with assertiveness. His look and voice became softer.

"I... truly appreciate it. Let me take over your morning shift. You should get some rest."

Lorenzo didn't answer and instead let his hands wander from Avas wrists to his hands, intertwining their fingers and squeezing. It felt hot all of asudden and he noticed Ava moving his tucked leg to the side, to give Lorenzo space to move.

Was he... giving him permission?

He noticed the faint blush on Avas cheeks and a deep pull in his chest to come closer. There was such a deep desire for him to taste those lips that seemed to wait for his own. He could just go for it now. This was probably the most opportune timing. Slowly Lorenzo leaned more down-

The door opened with a hefty swing then stopped. Lorenzo looked behind him, seeing the guy from this afternoon who he had thrown a knife at. He grew pale again and quickly retreated back, closing the door- before opening it again to loudly whisper a quick "my apologies!" and letting it fall into its lock once more.

Lorenzo sighed and drew back. Ava tried to reach for him.

"Lor-"

"Thanks for taking over my shift." he said simply and got up grabbing his uniform jacket, throwing it over his shoulder.

"Lorenzo-"

"Another time." He said earnestly and Ava properly sat up, watching Lorenzos back. The storm smirked and looked back over his shoulder.

"And next time I'll make sure we won't be interrupted."

He couldn't help a girn, before he turned back around towards the door and left, the image of Ava blushing madly up to his ears making his heart skip a beat. Oh he'd def imagine all kinds of things back in his room-

"You seem in a good mood~"

Lorenzo jolted at Sergeys sudden voice, jumping to the side. God damn it, this guy was too good at hiding his presence! Sergey grinned widely and Lorenzo felt annoyance build up inside of him.

"Shut up. I'm going to bed."

"Good niight~"

And like that another uneventful day ended.

#khr #reborn!#varia #katekyo hitman reborn #unseen varia #khr oc #katekyo hitman reborn ocs #my writing #yes i wrote another bc the muses strong with me for some reason #Sergey is such a teasing lil shit he loves riling others up #see Lorenzo and Ava def arent the healthiest couple and no couple goals or something #but they do respect each other and have their softer moments

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proton-wobbler · 9 months

Text

Round 3, Poll 4

African Penguin vs Yellow-billed Magpie

sources under cut

African Penguin

"They’re my favorite penguin and people forget about the warm weather species. These guys are such funny bastards. They’re like horny toddlers. They loaf. They crave violence. They can swim faster than Michael Phelps."

The nickname "Jackass Penguin" comes from their loud, braying calls- though several species of South African penguin make these same noises. Other names include: Cape penguin, South African penguin, and black-footed penguin.

African Penguin are listed as Endangered by IUCN, with the most likely cause in decline being the fishing industry. Their prey includes multiple species of schooling fish, such as anchovy, pilchard, and herring, which are also often targeted by fisherman. Human disturbance of nesting colonies also plays into this, with tourists accidentally collapsing nest-burrows, and guano or egg collection leading younger birds to abandon breeding sites.

Yellow-billed Magpie

"Growing up, magpies were just another bird. Pretty, but loud and kind of annoying. Just this year (in my 30s!), I learned that the Yellow-billed Magpie only lives in the central valley and on the central coast of California. These birds were so common that I had no idea they only lived here. Very few people in my region seem to know that either so I've been spreading the knowledge."

They've got quite a varied diet, as most corvids do. Insects and scavenged carcasses make up a chunk of their food, but these magpie will also eat acorns, nuts, fruit and grains. They have been seen flipping over dried cow manure to pick at the insects living underneath, and will sometimes pluck ticks off of deer and horses.

Yellow-billed magpie will nest in loose colonies, and prefer to place their nests in clumps of mistletoe. They're at risk of losing a lot of habitat as the Central Valley becomes more and more developed, which lands this species on IUCN's Vulnerable list.

Images: Penguin (Kalin Ocaña);

#hipster bird main bracket #round 3 #quarterfinals #bird poll #animal poll #african penguin #yellow billed magpie

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angelicguy · 11 months

Text

Using different historic culinary sources I have developed a 3 course meal that I believe Wee-Man of Jackass fame would adore, and I have titled it "The Feast of Wee-Man"

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omnitf · 2 years

Photo

What a Hoot: A Patreon Preview

Please enjoy this excerpt from the full story. This can be found on my patreon in the $3 tier. Credit for this image goes to @alonso4365 as the source.

---------------------------------------------------

“I need to what?” Again, that irritation struck, and Craig rubbed at his throat and swallowed. Things felt … different in there now, thicker. And was his Adam’s apple a little bigger? Was his throat swelling shut? Was he having some sort of medical emergency? Was he—?

“As in Keep It Simple, Stupid,” Lance deadpanned. “You’re getting too much into your own head. He may be acting like a jackass, but you’re acting like a dumbass right now for letting it get to you. We’ll rib you a little longer, then we can chill and enjoy the game. Stop whining and have some fun with it. Make it like that role playing session stuff you used to do back in college. Get outside your own skin for a while and just … have fun.” He reached for the soda bottle and averted his gaze to give Craig the time he needed to compose himself.

A hand grabbed Lance’s wrist just as the soda was about to flow. “I’m supposed to be your server tonight.” Craig avoided his friend’s gaze as he took the bottle gently and raised it to pour. When the fizz lowered to meet the liquid enough for Lance to take a swig, Craig returned the bottle to the counter again. “And Lance, … thanks.”

Lance patted his friend on the back. “Don’t mention it, big guy.” He frowned at the more solid thunk his patting made. “Have you been going to the gym lately?”

Craig chuckled. “Huhuh. Yeah, like I can find the time to go work out.” He smirked. “Besides, all these heavy platters, all these customers, … I work out when I work, bro.” He smiled weakly, then winked.

“Heh. Yeah, … I guess so,” Lance said, then drifted back into the living room again to join the other two.

‘Would be kind of cool, though,’ Craig thought as he pulled down another plate and opened the bag of wings to prep them for heating next. ‘Looking like one of those poster boys….’ He could almost hear those weights clanking and clacking in time to the rhythmic grunts and puffs of men hard at work. Work probably wouldn’t be enough alone to maintain that kind of figure. “Yeah, … maybe a workout wouldn’t hurt….” A big gym across the street from the restaurant, a partnership benefit for working to keep his figure up, grow bigger and stronger, burn all the excess calories….

His torso tingled as the fabric on his crop top grew more taut around his shoulders and pecs, the excess mass receding to reveal the beginnings of abs. His jaw ruffled like a deck of cards as he scratched over the bristles of a five o’clock shadow. Had he … forgotten to shave? He could’ve sworn….

The microwave beeped, jerking him from his thoughts, and he turned swiftly to tend to his duties, placing the plate on the counter to let its contents cool while he looked at the instructions for the wings.

#transformation #meathead #muscle #jock #server #waiter #bro #musclehead #tf #patreon preview #patreon #dumber

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how-do-i-delete-this-acc · 2 years

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being the inarizaki vb club's precious manager hcs

summary: you sign up to be the boys vb team manager bc like why not you'd prob get some good organization skills but you end up gaining some bffs, some bruises, and a whole crew of bodyguards

warnings: a liiiiiittle bit of swearing and mentions of harassment also its not proofread

you signed up to be the manager for the boy's vb team not knowing what it would be like

it was ur second year of high school and u had quit abt 7 clubs bc they just weren't that interesting

not like in a mean way like "ugh! this is too boring for my tastes smh" but just it didn't have any appeal so u smiled and resigned with no hard feelings yk

IT WASNT LIKE A SALTY QUIT U JUST COULDNT FIND ANYTHING THAT WAS FUN AND THAT U WERE PASSIONATE ABT I CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH ITS NOT LIKE THAT GIRL'S HOST HOPPING THING FROM OURAN

tbh u just didn't rly know what other club to sign up for and the boys vb team needed a manager soo..

they honestly should have just put "babysitting some brats that are somehow the same age" instead of "managing the boy's volleyball team"

they are so protective of you lol

like this one time you let out a little scream bc some random teacher touched your no-no square in a very intentional way

the vb team was THERE in 2 seconds flat

kita stares at him intensely while holding back the twins by their shirt to keep them from quite literally MURDERING THAT MAN

aran calms down ginjima and akagi who literally just start hyperventilating

suna stares at him. hard.

the twins who are unable to attack him just scream

"WHAT. DID. YOU. DO. TO. OUR. MANAGER U FUCKING JACKASS" etc

the teacher got fired the next day funny coincidence huh ?

ANYWAYS

kita is actually helpful

he's canonically good at keeping ur fellow second years in check so lucky u !

hes also rly organized and tidy which is v helpful !

aran is such a sweetie

helps u out in any way that he can

also acts a pillow to some of kita's blunt blows

like "he means that he's sorry bc he realized that he seems kinda unappreciative of ur efforts sometimes" when kita says smth like "sorry for not saying nice words to you"

a translator for kita, basically

akagi shares ur puppy energy so the two of u get along rly well

ur both friendly ppl so its a v sweet and wholesome relationship

u sometimes have to stop gin from making bad decisions but ugs get along well

also ugs r both second years so ur classes r on the same floor so u see each other in school sometimes

as for the main 3 brats AKA some of your fellow second years who somehow become ur new bffs

atsumu is SUCH A FLIRT but like jokingly bc that's just how he is yk

always talking to you and annoying you like atsumu would u just like stfu pls and thanks

osamu is constantly slapping atsumu to provoke him (which works every single time lmao)

is always eating like u turn around during class and he's just eating an onigiri behind his folder 😐

ugs like to gang up on atsumu its a great bonding activity

you and suna r sleep buddies bc u both r so sleep-deprived

well suna's just a sleepy person but u r sleep deprived so ugs will sleep side-by-side during free periods

suna always forgets his lunch so u've learned to pack extra for him

you let him sleep on ur lap and he lets u sleep in his

when the four of u take buses or trains to hang out u and suna always sit next to each other so that ugs can fall asleep on each other

if ur up for it he'll cuddle with u platonically

bc ppl r great body pillows and a good source of warmth

only if ur comfy with it tho ofc

the twins (mostly atsumu but a bit of osamu) will tease ugs abt being a couple but both of ugs just roll ur eyes and go back to sleep lmao

you ended up staying to be their manager for the rest of high school bc of how much fun it is

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