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good-wine-and-cheese · 1 month

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Gambling Apocalypse Tenma AU

As I rewatch Kaiji I inevitably end up wanting to combine show I like with other show I like and stuffing fav characters into show. So here we are.

This was uh going to be a short summary type thing but I accidentally wrote a novella about it sorry

This AU starts off with a much more depressive Tenma. After Tobio's death, rather than immediately pour his grief into developing a robot version of his son, he recedes into himself, psychologically paralyzed, likely turning to alcohol to drown out his anguish.

His mental state is taken as an opportunity within the Ministry of Science to have him ejected from his position; Tenma was never the most well-liked director, and there were those with ambition to usurp him that would jump at the chance. Not that he especially cares in his state.

He's eventually dragged out of his stagnation by Ochanomizu - who, inadvertently, becomes the very catalyst pushing Tenma to develop a robot replacement to his child. This was not what he meant by encouraging Tenma to fill the void left by his son.

...But, well, he is no longer the director of the Ministry of Science. His access to limitless government funds and resources for "scientific research" has been cut off, and this is a project he cannot finance on his own. He can't ask Ochanomizu for help, but...interestingly...a representative of a certain shady organization known as the Teiai Corporation reaches out to him, offering to finance and support his project. A sane and well-minded Tenma might think better of it, but grieving and desperate, Tenma accepts their offer and is able to create a robot in the image of his beloved Tobio. For a while, there's joy in his life.

But the bill, as ever, comes due: Tenma must pay up, and the very resources that had been at his disposal will certainly ensure that he will, or else. Of course, he doesn't have the money; instead, he is given a choice. He can relinquish the robot Tobio in order to wipe out his debt - the child is a sophisticated and powerful robot, after all - or he can participate in a certain illicit event hosted by the Teiai Corporation.

It's nothing major...just a four-hour gambling cruise with a collection of desperate, damned souls that were also swept into debt with Teiai. The conditions are simple: Those who choose to participate are given a chance to clear their debts wholesale should they win. And should they lose...?

Well...no one really knows what happens to the losers seized by Teiai. It's said that they labour away their debts under Teiai's watchful eye and are freed once their work has covered their debts, though it's rumoured that most perish before they reclaim freedom.

There's only one answer Tenma can give, of course; he's not willing to lose Tobio again.

Thus is Tenma's debut into the Gambling Apocalypse, where he must become cutthroat in order to survive; if he wants to see his son again, he must make choices that will doom the hapless to miserable servitude, with a nonzero chance it ends in their death.

He survives the cruise, but of course, it was hardly enough to clear his debt; the cruise was never going to be the end of it. Teiai doesn't let go of its victims that easily. He will be called on again: this is a weight that hangs over him, all while he returns to his son Tobio. The same hands that have pushed innocents into hell must now be the hands that can embrace his child.

He wants to protect Tobio from the truth and enjoy what peaceful moments he's allowed with his son, but it's difficult. It's difficult to be the parent of a child who cannot understand the danger that looms ahead; this "happy" home is not to last. Tenma angers quickly and easily. He turns that anger onto Tobio.

As Teiai's games become more and more vicious and unrelenting, as his conscience holds onto the last vestiges of thread that remain, Tenma even threatens, once, to give the boy in: it would all end, then; the debt would be clear and no longer would he have to endure Tobio's childish annoyances, his ungratefulness.

The next time that Tenma is beckoned, Tobio takes matters into his own hands. He does understand, now; and he would have, if only Tenma had bothered to explain sooner. If it's a debt that needs clearing, he will work. He will help his father clear his debts however he can. Of course, it's difficult to find work as a child; but a circus troupe finds amusement in the idea of a child robot, and takes him in. He is whisked into a certainly unpleasant working situation, but he remembers his father, and what he must be enduring. Tobio, also, will endure.

When Tenma returns, Tobio is gone.

All that held Tenma back from becoming something monstrous has disappeared. All that kept him going has disappeared. When he is called upon by Teiai, there is no knowing what sort of person might come out the other end; whether a monster clawing his way to freedom regardless of what actions he must take, or a desolate husk surrendering defeat.

There is still a light, however dim: Found by Professor Ochanomizu and rescued from the circus, Tobio - now Atom - is able to shed light on the situation which Tenma took great pains to keep hidden from his old friend. With time running out, Ochanomizu and Atom must do what they can to save Tenma - from Teiai, and from himself.

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UHHH and that's a wrap!!!! I couldn't quite decide which way Tenma would go after hitting Rock Bottom in this AU, and tbh it would really depend on the kind of mental state he's in at the time. On the one hand I like the narrative of Ochanomizu and Tobio racing to prevent Tenma from crossing a line (actual outright murder probably) - or having to pull him back into humanity (and yknow, his ensuing penance)

But on the other hand having him get sent to Teiai Evil Hell Prison would be interesting because a) there's a lot of narrative potential having Tenma faced with what Teiai is doing with the people that lose the games and b) need him to decimate the foreman at chinchirorin Kaiji style

Tenma's whole character is definitely a much different guy in this AU, he starts off pretty sympathetic, the guy you wanna root for, he just ends up having an inverse character arc where he gets worse instead of better. His conflict with "Tobio" is also kind of reversed, less about being unsatisfied with Tobio as a son and more not being able to handle the fact that he probably has intense PTSD now and isnt capable of coping with it in a way conducive to being a parent (or like, coping at all)

Anyway that's gambling apocalypse tenma!!!

#umataro tenma #long post #well that became a novel. sorry lmao #in my mind teiai's evil hell prison in astro boy verse would probably be quite a bit different than regular kaiji #like. fuckin. weapons manufacturing for teiai or something like that. or scary bad danger robots. horrifying concept #Tenma would be a valuable asset to them whether by giving up Atom or by losing in death game hell and being forced to work for em #and if he dies? they can just take atom #get him out of there.#I'm also thinkin of who Teiai would be represented by.....the snakey loan sharks u could easily put skunk in there.#but who is an evil fucked up sadist billionaire. theres probably someone who could be fucked up enough I just dont know offhand #and im allergic to mischaracterizing in AUs lol im not gonna make a slightly bad guy into an evil freakguy. so. Hyoudou is just himself.#if you squint this could be considered an 80s astro boy AU..has a cruise arc & not actually giving atom away #but man. that tenma LEAST of all deserves this fate lmao #do I want to write fic of this? yes. will I? not likely!#I can just smell it dude this would be some crazy fuckoff 100k shit I am not ready brother #also it would just be soooooo so so so so so edgy. I dont really enjoy writing intensely grim stuff w/ little to no respite #also tbh. I am too stupid. LOL. I cannot write clever gambles alas

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todayisafridaynight · 1 month

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I’m fairly new to the fandom, but I do have a question if you can answer it! Why do people ship Daigo with Aoki / Masato? I tried looking to see if they’ve interacted before, but couldn’t find anything! Sorry for asking I’m just </3 dumb AND I LOVE YOUR ART OF THEM!!! Nerd looking ahhhhhh

hi ! welcome to the community i hope you're having a lovely time so far and ty for enjoyin my stuff :) no need for apologies it's a very fair question to have :]

i cant speak for everyone (all. ten people into masadai anyway) but Personally To Me i just think the idea of them together is very funny. thats quite literally it im afraid..

#snap chats #//twenty page google doc in the background// ignore that. it's mostly for comedic purposes #might also be my fault idk sorry about that. allegedly. idk ive had like three people tell me they started to ship them cause of me 🧍‍♂️#@mementoasts is another person who's drawn masadai and whose stuff i love and am inspod by .. i love their disneyland fic sm ...#there was another artist on twitter who posted a neat drawing of them but i cant remember who they were and i didnt bookmark it //screams//#recently there's been ANOTHER masadai artist ive started following on twitter - @wifekiryu. his account's n/s/f/w fyi before you go looking #he has a tumblr too @foxdies. i say cause i realized as much recently vjeaKLGJALKGJ #oh but I GUESS ill get deeper into why. /i/ personally ship masadai or whatever #first off they're opposing factions yet their character alignments Do Not Match their roles. stereotypically anyway #aoki who leads the 'surface' of society and is meant to be an admirable figure and someone 'just' when really. he sucks LMAO #though that's not atypical of politicians but just from a stereotypical This Is A Respectable Individual perspective of his role #daigo on the other hand leads the 'underbelly' of society- yk comprised of dangerous criminals and outcasts and whatnot #yet as we know him daigo's compassionate and considerate of his men- he doesnt treat them like tools like aoki does #if put in a room with the two daigo would be most people's choice of person to hang out with. probably open a trapdoor on aoki tbh #and i think thats really cool and epic i always love that kinda Subverting Expectations thing #theres also the fact they both started off like. edgy/angsty in the franchise and then brush up down the line #masato does a stronger 180. publicly. obviously but its still really funny they both have to get their act together #if you wanna talk about in-text reasons. there really is none LMAO I TELLS YOU masadai is pure crack #but if i wanted to pull a muscle reaching then there's daigo being on aoki's side while everyone else is on arakawa's during the funeral #im lying of course. mitsu was behind him. rgg tryna make me forget mitsu exist .... put him back in y8 ....#and ofc ichi joins that side to even out the seating but moving on another Goofy Reason is arakawa being like #'the chairman and my son are like p much the same age Surely he knows how he thinks :)'#and then i just think daigo being all smarmy about outsmarting aoki is really goofy and im choosing to interpret that as personal #they both also have issues with their dad. s. dad/s/. anyway.#tbh the google doc tag was a joke but i really could sit here and list every dumb reason why i think theyre funny together #like i started going over the tag limit so uhhhh yeah needless to say i have a lot of. dumb reasons 💀💀💀💀#one day ill use the main text for long rambles like this but todays not that day Point Is my imagination is rampant im afraid #so the short and sweet of it is I Think It's Funny. And They'd Be Terrible Together. Which Is Why It's Funny.#and the unfortunate part is anything i find funny i obsess over for a year so. //gestures to the mountain of bullshit thats my masadai tag/

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brokenxheart · 1 month

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My mind is a mess

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lesbianliutana · 5 months

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i was Just rewatching the first episode of bbc sherlock with my mum before seeing the new letters from watson email had been sent and even though it's just the first chapter it's already making me sad to see how much they changed just his Introduction

like he's so endearing !! and so clearly passionate about crime solving in a way his introduction in a study in pink just doesn't get across as well imo

if they were even aiming for that at all, which.... im doubtful ? i think bbc sherlock was a lot more concerned with making him seem cool maybe, and Definitely with getting across that he's Fucked Up or whatever and his giddy excitement here doesn't really work well with that intent. there's the scene later on in 221b baker street where they got a bit closer to showing his passion but in that scene the thing he's excited about is another murder happening which. changes it a lot i think.

he's finally shown to be passionate about his work in some way, sure, but i think it was done to, again, lean into the "ooo isn't this guy A Bit Strange" thing by having him get excited about a stranger's death. i wouldn't consider it a scene showing his love for his work, i think it's more about his hatred for being bored, because a study in pink leans more towards his passion for his work being a bad thing with how it makes his reasoning a lot more .... pessimistic maybe ?

like pink has characters talk about how he gets off on crimes in a jaded way when it's not just about it being something that stops him being bored while scarlet compares him to a child with a new toy to describe how passionately he feels and i feel like i'm using the word passionate a lot but it's the only word i think describes what it is i love about the sherlock short stories i've read so far and now the beginning of this novel that bbc sherlock (at least in it's first episode) just. doesn't really have. either that or love, maybe.

idk this is just the first chapter and i don't remember much at all of bbc sherlock after a study in pink so my opinion will probably change at some point but this is how i feel about the adaptation currently.

and anyway i wanted an excuse to show some screenshots of nice sherlock scenes bc i love him a lot

#sorry if this is negative . i wouldn't usually say that but it feels weird when its abt sherlock idk #my stuff #book tag #tv tag #sherlock holmes #letters from watson #oh god i didnt even mention him being (unintentionally probably but still doing it regardless) mean to molly i think her name was ehhh #idk it just felt a bit . god idk how to describe it other than edgy but i think my idea of edgy isn't very similar to the general idea of it #maybe jaded. again. idk i should probably google that word to make sure im using it right #did it. it does fit thankfully. it doesnt fully get across my opinions though #but yknow its a single word thats asking a lot of it

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barnabybrainrot · 6 months

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—-

#mod posts #idk dude i am so conflicted abt this ‘barnaby is overrated’ shit #on one hand im like… wow another person who feels he’s overrated. daring today are we?#on the other im like… i understand what its like when the character you like isnt the popular one in the community #like i normally tend to hyperfixate on the side characters so i absolutely know how frustrating it is #i also know from personal experience that a lot of it can just be hating it solely BECAUSE its popular #when i was like 14 and undertale came out i hated it just bc it was popular. and then i played it myself and yknow what? i enjoyed it #like… its okay not to like something!! everyone has unique tastes #and i also understand the concern abt barnaby being treated like snatcher (i know NOTHING abt snatcher so dont. quote me on that)#like theres a chance the ‘fanon’ version of barnaby will be given precedence over ‘canon’#the same shit happened with sans. remember all those sans/reader fics where sans was this edgy mysterious guy?#yet in fanon hes just a funni little skeleton who likes bad jokes?#yet in *canon jesus christ i cant spell today #but like. can we just let people enjoy things if they arent hurting anyone?#like i get it its annoying sometimes. like i had to mute the oc tag bc i was tired of seeing RP stuff #but im not like. going into their inboxes and telling them theyre bad ppl for enjoying a popular character yknow?#sorry this is making like. no sense. and im sorry to put it in tags but i do NOT want this spreading #anyways. those are my thoughts for today.

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riverboatgambler · 2 years

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pov backrooms oc

#OKAY IM GONNA RANT ABOUT LORE IN MY TAGS CUZ I LOVE THEM DHFNFNFNF #this is gordo and n. they are fragments of one person who was named gordon #he was a scientist and did science on quantum drives and dimensional mechanics #during a procedural test something went wrong #causing gordon to fall into the backrooms #during his falling into the backrooms he split into two conciousnesses of himself being gordo and N #gordo is basically very loud and edgy looking but wont hurt a fly but N is very calm looking and put together looking but really wants to #dissect everything and we love that for him #sorry im fhsnjdjsjdn i love them...#tal.jpg #oc stuff #gordo-n #the backrooms

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anhedonyan · 3 months

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So I forgot in dos2 necromancy is what I partially had with my elf rogue blood sucker whatever and going with a necromancer sorcerer melee isn't what I would want in my coop save because it would be kind of the same thing as the rogue I had years ago and played for a couple of hours (I don't talk with these ppl anymore so he is going "solo" from coop to single player, not really solo tho, with npcs).

Anyway, I need to pick another thing and idk what yet. Bf is going to, at least that's his idea for now, pick a summoner so I guess I'll try to synergize my chara with his chara (except primarily tank/heal stuff, I can't play this way cuz I've already tried it and it was SO BORING to me...).

#dude when I made my elf six years ago or so i didnt know it was one of the most powerful stuff out there...#i just picked it out of edginess...#dps all the way sorry #heal tank only for when im playing a complete party and some npc is one of them #but i cant primarily play a tank or healer because it is boring imo #viagra's life has come to an end before being born

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bruisedloverr · 1 year

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the thing about having ocs is that it sometimes feels as if they have a life on their own, and they end up doing things or having certain traits that absolutely gross you out and you didn't had planned, but you know damn well it is in character. that's how i ended up, after a lot of deliberation, making canon that a character of mine does in fact have a piss and a puke kink. of course he does.

#bunny talks #to be fair these are not his worst kinks. i would even say they are some of the lighter ones and thats saying a lot.#he's just edgy and a freak and is into way more extreme stuff so it just makes sense #also im not really grossed out by piss if im being completely honest. i even enjoy it in some contexts #mostly objetification; degradation and humiliation. however i do have a slight emetophobia so vomit is kind of 'ehhh'.#obligatory disclaimer im not shaming ppl with puke kinks you do you; i dont enjoy it on a personal level but if you do then hell yeah!#im not saying who it is but if you know my characters then i think it becomes pretty obvious who this freak is sjkdnsndaj #piss.#emeto.#sorry for tagging it as the kinks as if i was going to do something with it i just dont know how to warn without looking judgy

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gayvampyr · 2 years

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im sorry but this shit pisses me off. i don’t care if it’s a joke. where’s the punchline. even in 2022 gays still do not have equal rep in shows. the fact that only in the last couple years have we gotten actually semi-decent queer rep shows how much queer media is still needed. a lot of people still don’t even know what the word “bisexual” means, much less terms like “asexual” or “aromantic” or “nonbinary”. whether you’d like to admit it or not, it matters that a show actually has a bi character and explicitly says the word bisexual— a popular show at that. ik some of you guys have forgotten that the rest of the world isnt as acquainted with queerness as your online lgbt friend group, but a show on a major streaming platform saying “bisexual people exist” is important. it needs to be said, and it needs to keep being said until people stop forgetting and erasing bi people.

and yeah, the line “masculine guys can be gay” might seem like a stupid obvious thing, but a lot of people don’t consider masc guys to be gay at all, just like they don’t expect lesbians to be fem. i’ve been told several times that i don’t “look gay” and that i must be confused because i should like “boy stuff” and dress masculine if i really liked girls. people need to be reminded that anyone can be gay, as ridiculous as it sounds. we need to be seen as more than a stereotype and im sick of you “edgy” gays shitting on every piece of queer media like it’s twilight.

the show that these tags are in response to isn’t even adult media. honestly it’s hardly even YA. this show is for kids and teens who are discovering who they are. growing up, i never had ANY sort of representation. i didn’t grow up thinking it was okay to like girls, or that i could be interested in people other than boys, or that i even had the option to not like boys at all. queer representation is not only important, but it’s crucial. straight people get to see themselves everywhere, and never as comedic relief or the butt of a joke. queer kids grow up thinking that what they are is humiliating, that they should be ashamed of being those people who get laughed and made fun of on tv (and irl). in 99% of media, gay and trans people have been a laughing stock. the most representation a queer could get a decade ago was a white cis fem (but not TOO fem) gay man who was only a side character, was never shown with a partner, and served primarily as a clown, like queerness is a circus and cishets are the audience.

so i don’t CARE if young queer media is cringe. i don’t CARE if you don’t like it or if you think it’s forced or stupid or pointless or even if it’s just for a corporation to profit off our existence. the point isn’t why it was made or how bad you think the writing is, the point is that it exists and that there are now young queer people who can finally see themselves, not as a joke but as real people, on screen and go, “that. that’s what i am.” and im elated for this younger generation to be able to say that when i couldn’t. so i don’t care if you’d rather just be called a faggot again like in the good ol days when we were dropping like flies and everyone hated us. if cringey tv shows and bad writing is the price for queer kids to understand themselves better and for cishet people to get a better understanding of queer people, then it’s a small price to pay. shut the fuck up and let queer media exist

#text post #long post #heartstopper #gay #lesbian #wlw #mlm #queer #this show is for young people #grow up #top posts

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slvt4elliew · 5 months

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in a good way (1)

"i didn't know that i was capable of being happy right now...but you showed me how."

cw: angst, mentions of death/su!c!de, mentions of self-harm, marijuana usage, drinking, explicit language, slow burn (im so sorry), panic attack(??), dad joke near the end, idk what else

a/n: this isn't really my first time writing angst (not on here) buttttt im still nervy. idk how to feel. i spent a dumb amount of time on this and it still sucks!! this series is also gonna be long so i apologize. but its necessary i promise! i just feel like ppl don't write about ellie falling in love enough. all of it. i wanna see and write all that stupid lovey stuff, from the start. idk how to write so be nice (ori'llcry) also listen to this song i love it sm.

you shoot awake, beads of sweat forming on your forehead and your breath quick. in out in out in out in out. for the past month you've been plagued by nightmares, making you wake up hyperventilating nearly every night. earlier this month marked the one year since your best friend passed away.

lucy meyer, the only person who truly understood you, took her own life last year on november 3rd. there's no word in the entire dictionary to express the pain you constantly felt. you tried so hard to cope, therapy sessions after therapy sessions. nothing helped. nothing could replace the comfort of being with lucy, just knowing she existed used to bring you happiness. lonely wasn't even a good word to describe how you felt, it was so much more than that. you felt so empty without her.

you had been doing "good" before now. you made a few new friends, dina, jesse, abby, and you left your house more. but the sudden reminder of lucy's absence sent you tumbling down again. it had only been a year. how were you meant to live a whole lifetime without her? without your best friend? the dull ache you felt in your chest worsened every day without her.

your eyes stung with tears as you slowly caught your breath. you were sitting up in your, almost overwhelmingly so, cozy bed. your eyes blinked quickly and rapidly, your eyes darting across your pitch black room. you eventually shoved the suffocatingly thick duvet off your body and stood from your queen bed. you lumber over to your bathroom, flickering on the warm lights and squinting from the brightness. you slowly adjust to the nearly blinding light, rubbing your tired eyes.

what you see in the mirror looks like a whole different person. you frown, seeing the dark under eye bags and sunken face. your hair's all frizzy and messed up from the terrible sleep you were having, you flatten it with your hands. your weary eyes glance down at the picture frame that sat on the sink, picking it up to get a better look at the photo in the frame. the photo was one of you and lucy two years ago in june, it was a selfie of you both in a pool. her long and curly black hair was pulled up into a high bun on top of her head. her dark blue eyes store into yours as you examine the photo, making you let out a choked sob as a tear runs down your face.

lucy was always beautiful. she was the most beautiful person you had ever met, inside and out. she had fairly pale skin and soft features. some acne was on her chin and left, rosy cheek. she had fluffy, arched eyebrows with a slit in her left one. you remember the day she put it there. she claimed she wanted to "look more edgy" with a giggle as she lifted the razor to her eyebrow, exposing her slit wrists when her long sleeves accidentally slipped down a little.

you set the picture frame back down and wipe the tears that must've fallen from your face at some point. you didn't exactly remember when they did. you quickly piss and wash your hands before you shut off the light and walk back into your bedroom, flopping onto your warm bed. the time on your phone said 4:24 am in a bright white font. you laid on your back in your bed, staring up at the dark ceiling. you didn't fall back asleep that night.

you were so glad you had no classes today, you rarely had fridays off but you just so happened to today. you were fucking lucky too, having something as drastic as your best friend dying happen and being a busy college student wasn't for the faint of heart. currently, your closest friend at the moment, dina, was dragging you to a party with her boyfriend jesse and one of their friends, ellie, who you've never met.

"damn...i'd hit. seriously though, you look hot." she winks at you after you exit your closet, dressed in a tiny jean skirt and see-through, hot pink, long sleeved shirt. since it was fairly see-through, you could see the pink bra you paired with it underneath.

if you were being honest, you didn't want to go to this stupid fucking party. you wanted to stay home, and maybe cry a little. most of all. you wanted lucy. you needed lucy.

while you fix up your hair for the party, dina's phone buzzes. the message was from jesse, telling her that he was there and ellie was gonna meet you guys there. as you stand, dina gives you a wink and playfully smacks your ass as you roll your eyes and walk out the doorway. walking up to jesse's black jeep ranger, you slide into the back seat and dina sits in the passenger seat, dina mumbling a small "hi, babe" with a giggle. jesse smiles at her, pressing a kiss to her forehead before he turns his attention to you.

"yn! you hoe! i missed you, where've you been!?" jesse practically yells at you, making you flinch slightly before chuckling. you really had missed jesse.

"y'know...i have a mysterious reputation to uphold. gotta go ghost every now and then." you jokingly huff out, looking down at your lap and flattening your jean mini skirt. the words them both chuckle out a small laugh, it was comforting to hear that noise again. but you knew dina knew. she always did.

already feeling nauseous, the car pulled over and parked on the street near the house. the cool night breeze burned your exposed legs, making you shiver slightly. people were spilling out of the front door and sitting on the lawn, most people smoking with a drink in their other hand. the base boosted music could be heard from outside the house, making your head hurt already. you felt sick, you needed a drink or something.

walking past loads of drunk young adults, all three of you make it into the house, finding it fairly crowded. jesse goes off to find a place to sit while you and dina make your way to the kitchen, finding it slightly less crowded. dina poured you both shots, which you downed immediately, cringing as the liquid burned your throat. you perk up when you notice a stack of red solo cups, quickly grabbing one and pouring whatever drinks there was out into your cup, making a brown drink that hurt to swallow.

dina leaves you to find and probably make out with jesse, leaving you alone to babysit your drink. bad idea. you never could drink responsibly, finding it impossible to stop once you've started. the warm feeling that grew in your lower stomach and how your mind melted into mush was unbeatable.

"hey, you were lucy meyer's friend right?" a voice rang from in front of you, urging you to look up at the stranger. it felt like you've been here for an hour, your heels aching from the constant standing. "were". your chin quivered at the reminder of your best friend's permanent absence. you look up at the stranger, blinking away the haze in your eyes.

"uh, yeah...w-why?" you mumble out with a chuckle, tripping over your words. while drunk, everything was funny, letting you feel something good for the first time in a while.

"oh, no reason, you just looked familiar. um...sorry about what happened n' stuff.." and suddenly nothing was funny anymore. it was too crowded, too many people. you found yourself overwhelmed and suddenly you felt like you couldn't breathe. constantly breathing in warm, used air, you thought you might choke.

you don't even reply before stumbling away, almost frantically trying to get to the back door. you elbow your way through the crowds of people, not bothering to apologize to the people who curse at you. you quickly slide open the glass door to try and get fresh air. you plop down on the top step of the back porch and attempt to catch your breath, completely unaware of the person who was sitting beside you, curiously eyeing you up and down.

your elbows rest on your knees, your face in your hands as you try not to cry. maybe you were overdramatic, but just hearing lucy's name made you tear up. still unaware of the girl next to you, you sniffle and huff into your hands. suddenly there was a soft tap on your shoulder, making you jump a little as you pull your face out of your hands, looking over to your left at the mystery person.

"hey, uh...you alright?" the girl asks, scratching the back of her neck. you want the world to swallow you, bury you in a hole to never be found again.

you take a moment to take in her appearance. she had auburn hair that stopped a little above her shoulders, the layers made it almost look like a mullet and it was styled in a half-up half-down bun. she had mossy green eyes, the kind you could easily get lost in. the way her right eyebrow was slightly raised made you notice the small scar through it. you immediately thought of lucy. you wonder how she got it. her face was covered in pretty freckles, clusters of them painting constellations across her face. she had a half-burnt blunt in her left hand, her elbow resting on her bent knee.

you stare at her with wide, teary eyes, mouth slightly agape and seemingly out of breath. you blink a few times before haphazardly wiping your eyes -- trying not to smudge your makeup -- and looking away, looking up at the night sky. "fine... sorry, have you been sitting there this whole time?" you ask, your eyes drifting over to her again.

"kinda, yeah.." she responds with a quiet chuckle, huffing a small laugh through her nose. her smile makes a warm feeling flutter in your stomach. even though you literally just met her, you felt sorta comfortable around her. she had some weirdly nice presence. "you look familiar, what's your name? i'm ellie."

ellie. what a pretty name for such a pretty girl... seriously, she was crazily handsome. wait. suddenly it clicked in your head. "ellie? as in ellie williams or...?" you asked hesitantly, snapping your head to look over at her. she was already looking at you, silently admiring the way the moon hit your face.

"yeah... how'd the fuck you know that?" she asks with a laugh, her eyes narrowing at you. she shifts on the step slightly, turning to face you a little more. your knees almost touch, both of you angled at each other. there's a small smirk playing on her lips, a playful glint in her jade eyes.

her smile makes you dumbly smile as you explain, "dina and jesse told me about you, they really wanted us to meet." you're not sure why you're smiling. there isn't really a reason to smile, especially not when you think about the whole reason you came out here in the first place.

"oh shit! are you y/n?" the blunt in her hand was completely forgotten about. she put it out on the spot next to her on the old wooden steps. she shifted to face you even more, her body nearly completely turned. you did the same. you nod at her, a small smile still on your lips.

you both talk. and talk. and talk. for what feels like hours. strangely enough, being around ellie made you forget about everything. all the shit that went down last year, this dumb fucking party. all of it. you felt sorta free. you didn't think about lucy, about what you two would be doing right now, if she was still here. no. none of that. you're in the present for once in your fucking life. you didn't even think about how cold it was outside, you didn't care.

ellie made you feel free. even though you only just met her. thinking about it too hard made you feel a little crazy. 'you only just met this girl, how do you already feel so good around her?' so you don't think about that either. a loud buzz buzz came from your handbag, pulling you away from the conversation you were having. you open your phone to a text from dina.

dee 🩷: wgere tf r u girl

you: outside

you: r u guys trying to leave?

dee 🩷: yss

dee 🩷: hrry my feeet hurt

you look back over to ellie, frowning. "i gotta go."

"aww, you didn't even get to hear the rest of my cool dad jokes."

"i knowww. this stinks."

"can i at least get your number... y'know, to show you all my cool dad jokes?"

you huff a laugh through your nose and wait for her to pull out her phone. you quickly put in your number as you hear your own phone buzz again. dina was so impatient. you save your contact name as "y/n :)"

"can't wait to hear 'em all!" you joke to her as you walk back into the house.

the drive home was fine. they blasted some pop music dina loved, she screamed along to the lyrics, still plastered. they quickly arrived at your house.

you walk up the carpeted stairs to your apartment room, keys jingling in your hand. as you open the door, you flicker the lights on and kick off your shoes. fuck high heels.

home. a lot of people say "home is where i'm happy." or whatever. but its kinda the opposite for you. home is where you allow yourself to feel, where you think. your mind's not mush anymore, you can think and feel again. and all you feel is hurt. that stupid ache is back. the dull feeling in your chest that just won't budge. at home you feel like you're slowly being sucked into a black hole.

you huff and toss your bag onto the table, phone in your other hand. you shuffle to your bedroom, turning off the main lights and on your bedroom lights. you strip from your uncomfortable clothes and into comfy clothes, sleep shorts and a big t-shirt. you flicker the lights back off and flop onto your big bed, letting the comforters consume you.

you sit there for a few minutes until your phone buzzes. it's a text from ellie. she texted you on your ride home so you already saved her contact.

you stupidly smile at your bright phone screen, shaking your head and turning it back off. you plug it in and set it on your bedside table. you lay back in your bed, staring up at the dark ceiling. your hand reaches up and grabs the necklace you were wearing. it was lucy's. you rub the L shaped charm between your pointer and thumb, turning to lay on your side.

that night you dreamt of green eyes and short, auburn hair.

#the last of us #tlou2 #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #tlou #tlou ellie #tlou dina #slvt4elliew

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insufferableprotagonistpoll · 3 months

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Propaganda why Dean Winchester is insufferable:

Really mean to Cas (called him a child, zero respect for him, calls him family and casts him out when the angels are looking for him), and an absolute dick to Jack (threatening to kill him CONSTANTLY)

>Was a misogynist (loved to call women skanks, bitches, hoes)

>Used gay as an insult multiple time during the show's run (idc if he's gay an homophobic, that's still insulting)

>Beat up his brother for being possessed

>Beat up his brother for losing his soul (not his brother's fault)

>Used dubious consent to get his brother possessed in a different unrelated possession incident after possession was being used (badly...this is supernatural after all) as a metaphor for SA

>Threatened to murder his brother when he was hallucinating (yay we aren't ableist)

>Locked a child up in a box

>Threatened to kill the child he locked up in a box

>Made a creepy, sexual comment about a barely-legal high school girl

>Got the woman and kid he was living with memory-wiped

misogynistic scumbag. theres also a few different times that dean finds teenagers sexy with the most recent and prominent example that i can recall being the scooby doo crossover episode in season 13 where hes super into daphne who in the version they chose for the episode is 15-16 and is interacting with her as if shes a real person cause they got magicked into the episode. he treats everyone around him like shit and the only time the narrative agrees that thats a bad thing is when he has the mark of cain put on him and hes acting no differently than he does usually its just now acknowledged that hes treating others like shit. ive been rewatching the show for shits and giggles with a friend and wow he really does not treat anyone well but i wanna focus on how he treats sam for a second cause dude's hobby seems to be ignoring what his brother wants and lying to sam about doing stuff that directly concerns him the demon blood and souless things are reasonable cause those were both Bad for sam but theyre still part of a wider pattern and the most prominent example of this being when dean tricks sam into letting gadreel possess him and actually gaslights sam about it with the whole ordeal ending when its revealed gadreel lied about who he was and while possessing sam murders a friend of theirs. his voice is just also stupid as fuck im sorry this is just petty but he just sounds like hes trying so hard to be gruff n intimidating but he just sounds like a kid pretending to be batman

Dean’s list of sins is crazy long because of how long the show ran, but the key thing for me is that post-locking Sam in the bunker (season 4 I think?), I just can’t enjoy their relationship anymore. I normally love their sibling dynamic, but Dean’s ultimate worst past-the-point-of-no-return moment for me was demonizing (pun intended) his little brother for being “addicted” to demon blood, which only happened because of a series of events that were either Dean’s or someone else’s fault, not Sam’s. I also really dislike how the fandom treats Dean like this angel (pun intended) who has done no wrong and even tries to justify the MULTIPLE times he’s beaten up and otherwise abused his little brother. Canon Dean is like the polar opposite of fanon Dean: he’s homophobic and racist (jokes about a Black man being sexually assaulted in prison), misogynistic (take a shot every time he calls a woman a slur and you’ll die of alcohol poisoning), and abusive.

Propaganda why the Tenth Doctor is insufferable:

They’re so *edgy*

That one time he committed a genocide by drowning the last children of a near-extinct species (Racnoss) because their mother was evil. The closest anyone ever got to calling him out on it was when Donna noted that his take on a *different* set of weird alien babies (the Adipose) was a lot nicer than last time.

A combination of hypocrisy, sanctimony, and an equally insufferable fanbase. And the dissonance between what he actually does and how the narrative presents it.

#dean winchester #supernatural #the tenth doctor #doctor who #insufferable protagonist poll #insufferable protagonist tournament #tournament poll

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brokenxheart · 1 month

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Endless hell cycle

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xenaliens · 21 days

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Could you draw Freeman’s mind in different outfits? I feel like he would wear edgy metal mosh pit clothes but I want to see you put him in cute outfits!!

heyy sorry it took me so long to do this. ill get to the other ask in my inbox too but. gulp ramble below for designs and overall ideas + garfield mind

for one. apologies for not coloring anything. im rlly sick. but hey. hes a baddie. wut can i say. anyway how i characterize mind usually is prominent in how i design his clothes which is why its fun 2 draw him in stuff that i wouldnt usually assume he’d wear on the daily but things he’d still look GOOD in

imo he seems like how asker headcanoned his outfit style to be but like. hes specifically pretentious about it. hes a gatekeeper in my eyes but also at the same time is so hypocritical abt it

but yea. i think he’d moderately be in a punk / overall metalhead genre, just toned down when hes lazy (which is everyday when in black mesa but ok.) and he doesn’t really variate beyond that, aside from maybe grunge/skater stuff sometimes…

he doesnt really fuck w/ tripp/baggy pants bc they make him stumble. his body aches enough he doesnt need to fall over to make it worse damn!

dont see him being too big of a fan of dresses but if he did wear them he’d probably look good. his hair is brown trust i just color shift stuff a TON. ask me abt it <3

#half life #gordon freeman #barmey calhoun #barneys mind #buttermind #freemans mind #gordon freemind #barney calhoun #mindverse #freemanverse #freeman’s mind #barney’s mind #fm

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lowpolyshadow · 9 months

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Something i don't really agree or get is fandom perspective of shadow being lame,cringe and bastard meow meow cus that's not really it either(surviving and trying to cope with the horrors? The coolest thing), more like a modern distorted loved notion of people, yeah is funny but also projected and kinda westernized(the inaccurated dub versions and dialogue), leaning away from the original cultural backgrourd that get's sleep on and puts a more nuanced perception of the games. Idk where im going with this but i don't get people popular perspectives idk sorry im a killjoy i just love the fucked up aspect of this silly franchise and it's characters(i wish it could get that deep again).

theres a lot of things that indicate shadow is a cringe little bastard from jp to eng, it’s like his whole. Thing. the fanon flanderization of shadow is crazy but the part where he’s a bastard is pretty blatant in canon

like, he’s genuinely cool and stuff, he has a lot of fantastic moments (if the world chooses to become my enemy i will fight as i always have, the entire somewhat ridiculous yet awesome finale of shadow the hedgehog, sa2’s ending literally cemented his popularity so hard he came back to life in heroes because people thought he was fucking awesome and compelling), but a big appeal is the fact that he’s also still a silly guy in a series full of whacky silly guys

the eng and jp dubs have their differences in tone in a lot of ways, and eng is not incredibly accurate bc of it, but shadow even in jp is still like. a loser (affectionate)—he’s constantly talking about how much better he is, he insists on showing his dominance over sonic (and others, but especially sonic) even when it doesnt fucking matter ala tsr, he constantly FULLY believes he is the most correct person in any and all situations, and that his actions are always the best way to go about it even if it’s reckless or sometimes unnecessary (the mow things in my way down solution)

he’s so earnest in everything he does, in his own special cringe little way, where he’ll say factually correct statements in a blunt manner, but also not quite … ? he’s very honest. he’s incredibly straightforward. every single comment he says, no matter how fucking absurd or edgy or funny, he truly means it. thats his APPEAL he says shit like “ive hit the ultimate jackpot!” and “this is like taking candy from a baby, which is fine by me!” and somehow also “no one else should experience the things ive gone through” and thats all FANTASTIC

i like this twitter thread and a lot of jib’s threads on shadow, bc they know a lot more about the jp side of things, but tldr: shadow is my funny little guy. my stupid little pogchamp. my cringe little bastard boy who is the coolest and also the lamest motherfucker ive ever witness. i’m going to dribble him like a basketball

#i think ur trying to separate the silly and the fucked up but the appeal to me and many people #is the fact that u have these silly ridiculous guys in fully serious fucked up situations #and THATS when theyre the most appealing (to me)#shadow the hedgehog (2005) wouldnt be NEARLY as appealing To Me if shadow wasnt also a silly guy #look at sonic in that goddamn game! hes ridiculous! hes like the best part bc hes goin around saying WOOHOO while shadow is having loke #the crisis of his LIFE here!!! thats so funny!!!!!#the basic building blocks of shadow are in place so that if u cared about him in sa2 #u will still care especially towards the semi hero and hero endings #but the weird shit in between. the silly nonsense sonic guys who tag along with him. his funny karate chop of the computer. idk #he’s cool but hes cringe. duality. the perfect character #speaking #long post #asks

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crushedsweets · 8 months

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tumblr user crushedsweets i am here to ask you another question about toby nat and nina. if nina was able to convince them into having a sleepover, how do you think it would go. what games would they play? what snacks would they make? who would inevitably wind up passing out on the floor with the other two comfortable on the bed? who would fall asleep first? i love them so much and i love your hcs for them

tumblr user anon i am here to cry because this is the perfect ask.... ok im starting now. this is mostly nina-centric cuz toby and nat are just following along. much more playful type headcanons

ok. ok.

toby would totally let nina and nat stay the night at his cabin if the other proxies were gone, he wouldn't need much convincing cuz nat already stays over a lot and ninas ... sweet enough. but in that case he wouldn't let them do any sleepover type stuff bc 'its my house im not watching twilight' (twilight reminds him of lyra). it wouldnt really be a fun sleepover or anything, but they'd bake cookies or something with nina for sure. prob got high/drunk too

now for more cutesy less edgy stuff...... i will be babygirlifying them all for these hcs... sorry not sorry. not canon to creeped(MAYBE).

BUT she'd definitely have to do more coaxing to get toby to come to her apartment. she lives in the city and that's not really his thing, but nat works over there so it's whatever to her.

assuming jeff is gone (only way tobys coming over), nina would be so cute about it. she'd have a blow up mattress set up in the living room, brought several bags of different candies and chips, put up random fairy lights, lit some candles so it smells sweet. her apartment is usually a little messy cuz she's a busy girl but for them . . she cleaned.

i could see nina being a really touchy person, constantly hooking arms with people and hugging them and playing with peoples fingers and stuff. it would take toby and nat forever to get used to it bc its admittedly kinda weird and invades personal space but she's so genuine with it and sweet and like :D theyre like OKAY FINE . so they'd just be walking around doing whatever and nina would pop up grabbing them like 'what r u doing in my kitchen :) the movies still playing :) youre missing the climax :) theres food out there :) youre making me mad :)'. or sitting watching a movie n she dozes off on their shoulder. etc.

nina would be swapping movies between things like 'to all the boys ive ever loved' to like... saw. oddly enough nat and toby are more likely to sit still and watch the romcoms just cuz they get invested in the plot ... LMFAO

i cant see nina actually getting them to play any sleepover games, BUT she'd hook up a switch. she'd try to play smth like overcooked with them but they rage too fucking hard and she has to swap to like. a mario game.

ok maybe she could get them to play like 2 rounds of truth or dare or never have i ever.

nat would like sour and hard candy... toby would like chocolate candy and baked stuff.... so nina would get the candy together and make them all bake some brownies.

she'd also make them make normal sugar cookies and try to decorate them but toby would make the ugliest fucking cookie possible and give up and let the girls decorate.

realistically nat and nina would end up on the air mattress and toby on the couch, BUT if they were stuck with just a bed, toby would take the floor. he'd offer cuz he's not about to share a bed with either of them.. but he'd prob wake up with nina on the floor too cuz nat KICKS in her sleep. nina curls up like a cat

nina falls asleep first. toby falls asleep last.

nina would try to convince them to let her do their makeup but toby would get irritated that she'd even ask. .

she'd defintely make them do skincare with her though .. nina uses snail mucin and the other two think she's weird.

the next morning ninas awake first and making pancakes. she walks away to go to the bathroom and gets distracted by washing her face and doing her hair and stuff and burns them so bad it wakes toby up... he comes in and turns off the stove and just waits for her to come back to call her dumb.

nat wakes up last and is so disorientated for like 30 mins after waking up... she just eats the food like a zombie until nina makes her wash her face again and shes up properly.

she'd try to get them to stay as long as possible, but theyre exhausted and as sweet as nina is, she's a bit much . . so they go home LOL. but nina would send them the cutest little "thank u for coming over i had fun i love u guys :3" text the next day and theyll feel kinda bad for leaving.

nina is just such a genuinely nice girl .... she just wants to live the teenage dream well into her 20s because she was um. Um. she behaved in a way. that um. highschool was not the most pleasant. and threw many of her teen years away for Um. a man. of sorts.

#hcs #ticci toby #nina the killer #clockwork creepypasta #natalie ouellette #creepypasta headcanon

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