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#sorry i made elon musk appear in it
weirderscience · 1 year
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realized i had the power of self insert comics. have this stupid doodle
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call-sign-shark · 1 year
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✨ Forget Me Not || Ch. 1✨
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Chapter 2 || Chapter 3
Summary: Y/N spends her summer working at her Aunt’s flower shop. There, she meets Jake Seresin for the first time, naval pilot and single dad.  — Or how a flower girl will try to heal a broken heart beyond repair. (Nickname: Poppy) 
Tags: Cuteness overload, tooth-rotting fluff, Dad!Jake, Reader is younger than Jake and no proof reading
Words: 1.8k
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Psss, don’t forget to reblog 💚
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The pale blue petals of myosotis dance at the wind’s discretion. A peaceful smile stretches your delicate lips, lighting up your entire face with joy. You bury your nose in the beautiful bouquet of blue flowers and close your eyes. In fact, myosotis does not have a specific fragrance but the simple smell of fresh soil and leaves is enough to relieve you from the stress of the day. 
Tonight, your Aunt had to leave earlier so she asked you to close the shop for her, which you agreed to do without the slightest protest. It has been only two weeks since you arrived in town, but you learned the job very quickly, for you found it captivating. The way people would use flowers to replace words was fascinating. You quickly started to guess what your clients wanted to express when buying a flower bouquet. Roses for romance, sunflowers for happiness, wreaths for the passing of a loved one… You had a gift for helping people trade words for flowers, which made your aunt very proud.
You take a quick glance through the shop’s windows to look at the vintage clock on the wall: it is time to clean the workshop. A faint chuckle escapes from your lips, for you had just realized you were daydreaming for five solid minutes. You had just grabbed a second flowerpot when something, or rather someone, plowed into you with the power of a cannonball. Utterly confused and out of balance, you fall. As your butt painfully collapses against the concrete, one of the flowerpots and its myosotis shatters on the ground while the other spills water and soil all over your sweater. 
“Aouch…” Your lips move but no sound comes out.
“I’m sorry Ma’m,” says an utterly sorry little voice, but you do not see its owner, your eyes are too busy looking at the mess you just made.
“I’m- I’m really sorry, are you okay?” She repeats. You finally raise your gaze to discover the source of such a mess and your eyes are welcomed by the sight of a young blonde girl. The kid is probably eight years old and wears a pair of shorts with a football jersey. Her adorable green eyes shift from the broken flower pot to your face before falling to the ground: she does not dare look at you.
“Oh my God Amber! Look what you did!” Cries out an older second voice. A man appears in front of you before you have the time to properly understand what just happened. He is a tall blonde man, clean-shaven, with a hell of a sharp jaw and dazzling green eyes.  He was a pilot —  you noticed the flight jacket he was carrying under his right arm. You blink several times, coming back to your senses at the sight of Mister handsome, “I am so sorry, my daughter was looking behind while she was running. Let me help you. Are you okay?” 
“Hm, yes? I guess?” You stutter, still a bit bewildered by the violence of the impact. The man steps towards you and wraps one of his muscular arms around your waist to help you get up. He lifts your body as if it is a feather, and soon you are back on your feet. A long exhale escapes from your mouth and you shake your head with a little smile on your face.
“What a fall! Your daughter is so strong I thought I would land on Mars before Elon Musk would.” You joke, chuckling. The pilot’s face, first dressed with a panicked expression, relaxes at your adorable laugh. He cracks a smile, his eyes squinting when he does so. For a few seconds, he is completely hypnotized by your splendid grin and your lovely laughter. Girls with a sense of humor never fail to attract him. Then, he shakes his head and looks at his daughter.
“I told you to be careful. Look at the mess you did. Now, we’re going to help that charming lady alright?” He says, one brow raised.
“Yes, dad…” The little girl makes a sorry pout, already leaning over to grab one big piece of broken ceramic. 
“No, don’t worry. I can take care of that myself,” You gently put your warm hand on one of Amber’s shoulders to prevent her from touching the sharp shard, “I’m going to clean, I don’t want you to cut your finger with that. If you want to help me maybe you could go inside the shop and grab some cherry lollipops I hide behind the counter. Can you do that for me, sweety?” 
The little girl’s face lightens up at the word ‘lollipop’, her smile cheerful and displaying her pearly white teeth, but she first looks at her dad to ask for his authorization. The pilot snorts, amused, and nods. It was all it took for the child to run inside the shop. 
“Thank you. This is really nice, I am not sure she deserves it after what she did.” He says, helping you to pick up the ceramic shards. 
“That’s okay, I was worst when I was her age. She straight up apologized, that’s all matters. Don’t be too harsh with her.” You simply say with a soft tone.
“This is very nice, thank you again,” While helping you, Jake cannot help but take discreet looks at you. Your charming trait, your gorgeous smile, and your graceful movements… You were a treat for his eyes. It has been since his awful divorce that he did not look at a woman the way he looks at you now, and to be honest, it kind of unsettles him. Jake shakes his head and throws the sharp bits in the trash bin that was next to the retail table full of flowers, “I’m feeling sorry for the blue flowers you were holding, they were beautiful.”
“The myosotis? That’s their name. But I prefer to call them Forget-me-not.”  You lean against an empty stand, looking at the good-looking pilot with an everlasting captivating smile that made his cold heart gently tingle.
“Forget-me-not?” He asks, slightly surprised.
“That’s another way to call them, and I think it’s really poetic.” Your voice is a sweet and soothing melody to Jake’s ear. He chuckles again at such a weird name.
“And why do people call them Forget-me-not?” He tilts his head to the side, his smile widening so much that he showcases his perfect teeth. You wink as if you are about to tell him a very significant secret.
“A legend says that a knight died trying to get these flowers for the woman of his life. And in his last dying breath, he told her “forget me not”, that’s why it became their name.” You tell him, your gaze shifting to the magnificent sunset behind the pilot. Yellow and orange lights enhancing your beauty, Jake is too busy observing your seductive lips to pay attention to the landscape. You are far more breathtaking than any other sight.
“This is such a beautiful story, I didn’t know that. Oh, wait —” He notices your sweater is full of soil and entirely soaked with muddy water. Without thinking further, Jake takes his own sweater off, his shirt lifting above his shredded abs as he does so. You blush and look away, for you are shy by nature. “Here,” He says, giving you his warm sweater.
“Oh no, that’s-”
“Please, take it. It’s the least I can do.”
“Thank you, Mister.” 
“Jake. Call me Jake.”
“Thank you, Jake, you can call me Y/N. But my friends call me Poppy.”  You say, gently tightening the warm sweater in your hands. Amber comes back from inside the shop with three lollipops. She buries two of them in her pockets and offers you one with a genuine smile.
“Here! Your lollipop, Ma’m!” 
“Oh thank you, sweety, is the third one for your dad?” You asked, taking the candy. You unwrap it and put the red sugar ball in your mouth. Pushing the candy with your tongue, you place it inside your cheek to still be able to talk.
“Nope, that’s for Shark! She likes lollipops so so much!”  She answers, proud.
“Well, thanks Amber.” Jake retorted, one brow raised.
You cannot help but laugh at her adorable facial expressions. Now that you can compare the two blonde heads in front of you, you notice how much she looks like her dad… You open your mouth to say something but the loud ringing of the shop’s phone snatches you from your attempt.
"Oh sorry I should pick up the phone!" You say, with a bit of reluctance. You have completely forgotten to call the shop's supplier, it is probably him calling you. Even though you would have loved to stay there talking with the Jake and Amber, you could not miss the phonecall otherwise your aunt would have to wait one full month to order new flowers and seeds. 
"Yeah, no problem. Once again sorry for the mess Poppy, and thank you for being so sweet with my daughter. She's nice, isn't she?" He says, looking at his little girl who had just took his father's hand in her while the other is firmily holding her cherry lollipop. Both of them seem like two partners in crime.
"Yuuup, Miss Poppy is super nice! Thanks for the candies!" She giggle, bubbly. She is truly adorable, and finding kids cute is not such a common thing for you. You nod and go back to the shop with a heavy heart. After all, the man was particularly handsome... You shake your head. What are you thinking? He is a father, he is older and probably married anyway. You pick up the phone.
"Hello Mr. Hawk." 
The whole conversation has been relatively short. Less than ten minutes. As soon as Mr. Hawk hangs up, you scamper to the shopwindow to see if Jake and Amber are still there... But of course they are not. Why would they wait? Disappointed but not surprised, you let out a long sigh. Oh well! At least you had a pleasant and entertaining encounter. You go outside to put the last flowerpots inside the shop. Moving one of them, you noticed a white piece of paper someone had slipped under. Curious, you take a closer look to it.
A phone number is written on the piece of paper, right besides the myosotis the mysterious messenger had placed on it. And just below the phone number three words are in capital letters.
Forget Me Not.
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goldenraeofsun · 2 years
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Day 23: Sleepless Nights
Dean 11:31 Hey sorry to text so soon But did you pick up an ID with my face on it after dinner?
Cas 11:39 No, but the restaurant called me a half hour ago. They found it while closing up, and they had my number on file from when I made the reservation.
Dean 11:42 Thank god
Cas 11:42 My apologies; I was going to leave you a message in the morning, as you mentioned needing to get up early. Also, what do you mean by “so soon”?
Dean 11:44 Dude Its been two hours since our date How soon do you consider too soon?
Cas 11:45 I’ve never given it much thought.
Dean 11:45 Seriously?
Cas 11:48 I text when it feels right. I don’t have a numerically-based system.
Dean 11:50 That’s insane.
Cas 11:51 Well, Dean, what’s your system, then?
Dean 11:52 24 hours minimum 1 week max unless they’re batshit Usually averages out to 3 days
Cas 11:57 What do you mean “batshit”?
Dean 11:57 You know Psychos Nut jobs One sandwich short of a picnic Dudes who say their spirit animal is Elon Musk
Cas 11:58 That’s an impressive array of synonyms, but it doesn’t actually give me much information.
Dean 11:58 Seriously??? Ok then Like, the guy who tried to pressure me into a threesome with his ex cause I’m bi Or the lady who practically drank a whole bottle of wine by herself and yelled at the waiter because he didn’t refill our bread basket
Cas 11:58 I see what you mean.
Dean 11:59 OR that guy who mentioned he was casually into cannibalism??? Who the hell drops that on a first date. Glenn Close wannabes, that’s who
Cas 12:00 I’m astounded you had that many bad first dates.
Dean 12:01 Those are only from this year!
Cas 12:01 That sounds horrendous.
Dean 12:02 Heh. Cannibal guy gave good head, so there’s that. Dude knew his way around some man meat, if you know what I mean
Cas 12:02 Unfortunately, I do. Excuse me while I wait a full week to text you ever again.
Dean 12:03 C’mon, I didn’t even tell you about my worst first date!
Dean 12:14 Cas?
Cas 12:18 Go on.
Dean 12:18 Thank fuck, I thought I actually scared you off
Cas 12:18 Despite appearances, I don’t scare easily.
Dean 12:19 For a nerdy dude in a trench coat, you’re made of pretty stern stuff, I’ll give you that
Cas 12:21 Thank you?
Dean 12:26 Don’t mention it ANYWAY worst first date in the history of first dates: The setting: Los Angeles, California, August 2017 Our hero, the dashingly handsome PA, Dean Winchester, has a date with a slightly less-attractive but still stunning guest star from episode 24 of Dr. Sexy, MD who will die three episodes later from a cerebrovascular infection of her spinal cord.
Cas 12:27 Technically, doctors should only use “Dr” or “MD”, not both. And that diagnosis makes absolutely no sense.
Dean 12:28 Shhh DSM had to let go their medical expert due to budget cuts in the 15th season
Cas 12:28 I cannot believe the abbreviation for that show is DSM.
Dean 12:28 Huh?
Cas 12:31 In the medical community, whenever you hear DSM, they’re almost always referring to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
Dean 12:34 Hahahahaha Maybe I should buy a copy for the set Then they’ll get SOMETHING right
Cas 12:34 I hardly ever call any case hopeless, but in this case, I might make an exception.
Dean 12:36 Yeah that checks out But nobody watches DSM for the medicine The other stuffs the compelling bits
Cas 12:37 They'd better not be. It's a gross misrepresentation of the medical system. Firstly, their sterile fields leave much to be desired. I had to pause in the middle of the intubation scene.
Dean 12:42 Hold on You actually watched DSM??
Cas 12:44 Of course. You mentioned you worked on the show when we met. I'd be a poor date if I hadn't watched at least an episode. 
Dean 12:44 Oh my god you did homework for our date tonight??? You're such a nerd
Cas 12:45 Dr. Nerd, MD, actually.
Dean 12:46 Ha! You're still Dr Sexy to me
Dean 12:46 Shit that was the stupidest thing I've ever sent. Forget I wrote that. 
Cas 12:47 I think it's flattering :D
Dean 12:48 Thank fuck
Cas 12:52 It wasn't only to prepare for our date. You obviously care a lot about the show, so if I couldn't stand it, I figured it would be a good indicator of our compatibility. 
Dean 12:55 Holy shit. I never thought about it like that I used to tell people it was a guilty pleasure
Cas 12:56 What changed?
Dean 12:57 I got the job on set and everyone there doesn’t treat it like a dirty little secret Sure they know its stupid and shit, but it’s fun, stupid shit
Cas 1:00 I’m glad you like your job.
Dean 1:00 You don’t?
Cas 1:11 I like the mission of my job. But some days the death, pain, and petty workplace grievances make me question my choice. I chose emergency medicine because I was under the impression it required fewer people skills. I thought I would see more acute cases of broken bones, gunshots, burns, etc. But these days, half of my patients use ER doctors as their primary physicians because they can’t afford regular doctor visits for their chronic conditions. I even have a few “regulars”, which I never anticipated having.
Dean 1:12 Damn That sounds brutal
Cas 1:13 Not to mention my hundred thousand dollars of student loan debt.
Dean 1:13 Jesus Sammy’s in the same boat between undergrad and law school
Cas 1:14 But not you?
Dean 1:20 I never went to college
Cas 1:20 Good.
Dean 1:23 What?
Cas 1:25 It seems you didn’t waste your money or time, as you’re in a profession that makes you happy and supports a lifestyle you’re making work.
Dean 1:25 I guess so. I just never figured you’d be all aboard the high school drop out train
Cas 1:31 Usually no, not unless the person has a clear path ahead of what they would like to do instead. My brother transferred from a prestigious liberal arts college to a trade school for plumbers, and he has had no greater joy explaining to my uptight parents the latest thing he pulled out from a client’s septic tank.
Dean 1:32 He sounds like a riot
Cas 1:33
He also makes a killing. Apparently an equal number of people need doctors as plumbers, to my parents’ great chagrin.
Dean 1:33 I like him already
Cas 1:35 You’ll like him until he short sheets your bed and locks you in the wine cellar during dessert so he gets the whole Black Forest gateau to himself.
Dean 1:36 That’s HILARIOUS
Cas 1:38 I almost wet myself, Dean.
Dean 1:38 And you think that makes it less funny???
Cas 1:43 I should have known older brothers would take each others’ side.
Dean 1:44 Damn right It’s in the big brother handbook
Cas 1:49 Did you terrorize Sam too?
Dean 1:52 No And whatever he tells you about itching powder, a farting donkey, and superglue is totally a lie
Cas 1:53 Never mind. I don’t even want to know.
Dean 1:58 Yeah, nobody came out the winner that time Sammy always gave as good as he got though But you seem like the kind of goody two shoes who wouldn’t get your big brother back like he deserved
Cas 2:03 I was worse as a child. It didn’t help that Gabe had an almost preternatural ability to anticipate retaliation. My choices of pranks were never particularly inventive, so he saw them coming from a mile away.
Dean 2:04 So Gabe is a plumber with a sweet tooth?
Cas 2:05 Yes?
Dean 2:06 You got any other ammo on him?
Cas 2:07 He also has an extensive porn collection of vintage Casa Erotica VHS and goes to some annual pornography convention in Vegas. My parents didn’t cut him off for dropping out of college because they were well aware of his alternative and, in their mind, Gabe chose the lesser of two evils.
Dean 2:11 Holy shit, Cas That’s what you LEAD with
Cas 2:12 Excuse me?
Dean 2:19 Next time you’re at his place, you’re gonna swap out half those VHS for Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood or Nut Cracker or a Nova documentary Just total boner-killers. He won’t see it coming. Heh Literally
Cas 2:20 Truly?
Dean 2:22 I don’t see why he would
Cas 2:23 Thank you. I might actually take your suggestion.
Dean 2:25 Do it! And then tell me how it goes. Sammy’s all the way in Seattle, so we haven’t had a real prank war in too long.
Cas 2:27 Aren’t you a little old for such childish behavior?
Dean 2:30 You’re older than I am!
Cas 2:31 I’m making up for lost time.
Dean 2:32 You’re unbelievable. Alright, Marcia, if you want to play it that way See if I help you when Gabe hides your stethoscope or dyes your white coat pink in retaliation
Cas 2:35 … he dyed it bright yellow, actually.
Dean 2:36 HAHAHAHAH
Cas 2:37 I looked like a YIELD sign.
Dean: 2:39 Please tell me you have pictures
Cas 2:43 I do, actually. IMG_215
Dean 2:44 What’s with the black stripes?
Cas 2:45 I added the stripes for Halloween last year. I was a bumblebee.
Dean 2:46 Damn Not even a sexy bumblebee?
Cas 2:49 Ah, but you can’t see what’s under my doctor’s coat.
Dean 2:50 An even smaller bumblebee costume?
Cas 2:52 No…
Dean 2:53 Don’t do this to me Lingerie?
Cas 2:55 I wore SCRUBS, Dean, because I am a medical professional.
Dean 2:58 You’re such an ass What are you doing this year?
Cas 2:58 I was thinking of wearing my usual coat and scrubs.
Dean 3:01 Booooo
Cas 3:02 What are you going as, then?
Dean 3:05 A cowboy! Tenth year in a row, baby. If it ain’t broke, yadda yadda yadda
Cas 3:06 But, having recently seen a new medical show, I was thinking of adding cowboy boots to my standard getup.
Dean 3:08 No way
Cas 3:08 Do you by chance have a spare pair I could borrow for Halloween?
Dean 3:10 Hell yes I do! But Shit, I have a 5am call time tomorrow Today? Fuck. I think I have to cut his convo short
Cas 3:11 Oh dear My apologies for keeping you so late! :o
Dean 3:14 Not your fault at all dude
Cas 3:15 I never even heard the story of your worst first date!
Dean 3:18 How about I tell you over dinner Friday? 7PM work with you? You chose the place last time, so I’ll pick this one
Cas 3:18 It’s a date :D
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fashionablyenigmatic · 6 months
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Cadmus Christmas Carol Pt.2
"So, you are the ghost of Christmas past, right?"
"Yule past."
"SAME THING." Cadmus barked, still a little miffed about the ghost's appearance by his bedside, looking like a child who came into their parents' room to report they'd thrown up. "Look, I'm sorry, but I'm in no need for whatever this is going to be. So, if you wouldn't mind leaving me alone and finding an actual evil billionaire to mess with, that would be awesome. I heard Elon Musk recently kicked a puppy, so if you would please go-"
"I'm not going anywhere, and for someone who can read minds, you are quite oblivious. Do I not look familiar at all to you?" The ghost of Yule past said, glaring at Cadmus with bright green eyes.
"Yeah, a little. You look like Shirley Temple. I don't know who told you curls were in, but they-."
"I'M YOU, IDIOT!" The ghost interrupted, now agitated.
"I...Uh...oh, forces..." Cadmus sat down on the side of his bed. "I completely forgot how stupid I used to look... Thank God Dad never made me learn tap dancing like he did with Bennie. I would have never lived it down," he added, giving the ghost a look of disdain.
"Is this how you should treat your four-year-old self? Tying them to a lamp and mocking them?" The ghost asked, holding up the magical bonds, still waiting to be freed.
"Well, yeah, as a matter of fact, I do," Cadmus replied, tipping his wand in a downward motion and releasing the binding spell.
Cadmus found himself in a familiar place, and the first thing that hit him was the smell of hot, greasy food under heat lamps. He opened his eyes and realized he was in an Uncle Jeffy's. What surprised him even more was his attire—he was still in his black silk pajamas but now sported a nightcap instead of his usual horns. "What the-" He waved a hand over his head and tried to pull off the cap, only to yelp in pain. "OW! Where are my horns?"
"Oh, those were ugly, so I turned them into a cap," the ghost stated simply.
Cadmus went to reach for his wand, but it, too, was gone. "Where's my wand now!?"
The ghost smiled mischievously. "Ohh, that old thing? You must have left it behind in your opulent cave. Oops! Now, pay attention. Where are we?"
Cadmus glared at the ghost. "Uncle Jeffy's Buffet. A cheap place, but they had good food. Stan used to take me here a lot when I was young, usually when I had a bad day," he explained with a hint of nostalgia.
He immediately looked over to the booth at the far end of the restaurant. It was nearly evening, and the parking lot outside had a fading blue hue. Stan had often chosen this corner booth because it allowed him to keep an eye on anyone entering, and it was an added bonus that the self-serve coffee machine was close by. But what caught Little Cadmus's attention was a particular tree just outside the window behind Stan. It was gnarled and strange-looking.
"Here they come," came the voice of the younger Cadmus as he saw two fat vultures swoop down from the high power lines to land among the gnarled branches, scattering the smaller birds that called the tree home. The four-year-old let out a high-pitched laugh, breaking Stan from his thousand-yard stare. Stan turned to look at Cadmus and gave a small smile before turning his head to see the vultures. "They must like you," he said gruffly.
"Yeah!! They come here every time I'm here!" Little Cad giggled in response, to which Stan nodded. Stan was wearing his Chief of Police uniform, which looked a bit wrinkled and had some small blood stains. It was evident that the day had been rough on him, and this observation wasn't missed by the small child.
"Did you have a bad day, Stan?" Little Cad asked with genuine concern.
"Well, my line of work is tough, Cadmus, but there's nothing I can't handle," Stan replied, though it was clear that he was downplaying the challenges he faced. The four-year-old understood this and wisely chose not to push further.
"My day was rough too," the boy commented, steering the conversation toward the reason Stan had brought Cadmus to Uncle Jeffy's in the first place. "My friend Marcus lied to me a lot today. He kept saying one thing but thinking another." Cadmus poked at his mac 'n' cheese thoughtfully. "I know Dad told me to try and block out the thoughts of others, but it's hard. I need to know! And I know the teachers don't like me because they are scared of me. Anyway, that's why I was crying when you picked me up from preschool," the boy explained, his pout conveying his frustration.
Stan listened attentively, his expression filled with understanding as Little Cad continued sharing his concerns.
Stan understood where Cadmus was coming from, given his own ability to detect lies. He took a moment to digest his thoughts before offering some sage advice. "Sometimes you gotta let someone lie, though, kid. You can't always call them out. But never doubt your gut, and don't let them pull the wool over your eyes," Stan said simply. "I think you'll figure out soon when a lie is meant to be harmful, like with Marcus, for instance. When he lied to you, what was he lying about?" he asked.
This was when little Cadmus brightened a little. "I said I wanted to play Legos, and he said he did too, but he really wanted to play Nintendo," he replied.
Stan smiled a little. "Well, he may have been thinking he wanted to play Nintendo, but I think more so that he wanted to hang out with you. Otherwise, why play Legos at all?"
Little Cadmus smiled and took another bite of his mac 'n' cheese, seemingly satisfied with Stan's response. The two of them enjoyed their meal together, the past echoing with moments of warmth and understanding.
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beardedmrbean · 1 year
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A man who was fatally stabbed early Tuesday near downtown San Francisco was tech executive Bob Lee, the founder of Cash App and former chief technology officer of Square, sources told NBC Bay Area.
The San Francisco Police Department said officers responded to a report of a stabbing at around 2:35 a.m. Tuesday. They found a 43-year-old man with apparent stab wounds, police said.
The man was taken to a hospital with life-threatening injuries and later died, police said.
Police did not name the man, but sources identified Lee, who was serving as the chief product officer of MobileCoin, as the victim to NBC Bay Area.
“Bob was a force of nature. Helped to birth Android and CashApp into our world," Joshua Goldbard, the CEO of MobileCoin told ABC affiliate KGO of San Francisco. "Moby was his dream: a privacy protecting wallet for the 21st Century. I will miss him every day.”
MobileCoin did not immediately respond to a request for a statement early Wednesday.
As of early Wednesday, no arrests appeared to have been made.
Police said Tuesday that the incident was being investigated by the department's homicide detail.
Tributes have poured in on social media for Lee, with former MMA fighter Jake Shields remembering the tech executive as a "loyal friend."
In an earlier tweet, Shields had said he had "just found out my good friend was killed last night" while walking in a "'good' part of the city."
Responding to Shields' tweet, Twitter chief Elon Musk said he was "very sorry" to learn of Lee's death.
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dauntlessdiva · 2 years
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Weirder asks…all the 4s please: 4, 14, 24, 34, 44
4. which cryptid being do you believe in?
Honestly if I had to pick one it's probably be Mothman
Bigfoot gets an honourable mention though
14. do you love the smell of earth after it rains?
Fuck yeah, I do!
It's been raining all day here today lol
24. if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?
Oh I'd definitely start pointing out constellations at night. Like I'd totally show you where the big dipper and the little dipper are and like point out Orions belt and the Gemini constellation above that, and then I'd probably fuck up a few othees that I've only ever seen in pictures or on paper.
Either that or we'd just chat about whatever. Knowing us, it'd be a bit of both
34. is there a song you know every word to by heart?
Dan, i am the walking encyclopedia of song lyrics. I have entire albums, even some full discographies memorized.
That being said, I've been listening to a lot of my chemical romance recently and my favourite song of their's that I know I have all the lyrics to memorized is Famous Last Words
44. you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?
Either Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk.
Or, or there's this creepy old dude that comes into the store once a week named Ralph who doesn't understand that you shouldn't grab the cashier's hand and hold onto it with both of yours when they were just trying to hand you your change (or at least he didn't understand that until my boss made if very clear that if he ever did it again he'd never be welcome back in our store) and always makes either really forward or very rude comments about my appearance that range from telling me to stay beautiful to asking if I have any animals hiding in my hair.
Yeah, no, sorry to the rest of the world I'm not killing the billionairs, I'm killing creepy Ralph who made a 'joke' today of asking me how much it would cost to buy me.
Seriously the guy is the worst kinda creeper and needs to just disappear off the face of the earth already. I'm sure everyone would thank me for it.
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virgo-of-rage · 1 year
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I posted 1,557 times in 2022
That's 55 more posts than 2021!
1,551 posts reblogged
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@judgejudyofficial
@mammagoodlove
@depsidase
@adrian-blake
@sodomymcscurvylegs
I tagged 38 of my posts in 2022
#iconic - 2 posts
#kharlo - 2 posts
#derry girls - 2 posts
#virgo - 2 posts
#gay - 2 posts
#nivek - 2 posts
#irish vs english - 2 posts
#sodomymcscurvylegs - 2 posts
#like to charge reblog to cast - 2 posts
#i hope florida and disney obliterate one another - 1 post
Longest Tag: 82 characters
#why does this make it sound like gay men's only contribution was dieing from aids?
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
People say an orgasm is the best feeling a human can experience, I respectfully disagree. Nothing beat the feeling of a migraine going away.
0 notes - Posted February 20, 2022
#4
"the lesser of two evils" neoliberalism is part of the greater evil because it allows for politicians to become more and more right wing in plain sight. shut the hell up and also kill your self
Blow me you pussy ass anon bitch.
0 notes - Posted February 9, 2022
#3
Sweetie pie. Re the leather pride post: You moron. The OP has had five years to take down that original post. Crickets. Of course the adults in the room are dragging the little troll; it has shown no remorse or progress. And, rather like yours, its ignorance is and remains primal. There is not one word of that post which is true; it is stupid hatred, bigotry, sex-hating prudery--which is why you love it so much. What is 'unhinged' is your defense of such ugliness, after five years! LMAO! Perhaps if you ever got off your personal dildo (oops, sorry, 'smartphone' ) you might actually learn to do something other than regurgitate the social media cliche of the day, but of course you never will. You're schooled and blocked with pleasure. :D
No idea what you're talking about but I hope sending this made you feel better about yourself.
1 note - Posted July 8, 2022
#2
Donald Trump ran for president because he was mocked at the White House Correspondence Dinner.
Peter Thiel bankrolled a lawsuit that ruined a media company that wasn’t nice to him.
Now, it appears Elon Musk started buying his Twitter stock when he couldn’t get the kid with the bot that tracks his plane (from publicly available data) to stop.
Unless we’re somehow going to STOP having billionaires, can we maybe stop hurting their stupid feelings for a joke and provoking them into actions that damage the society but don’t harm them in any way? Unless we’re going to seize their wealth and means of power, stop poking the fucking bears!
3 notes - Posted April 27, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
34 notes - Posted March 21, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
0 notes
ausetkmt · 2 years
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Kanye West Ends Partnership With Gap
Does he even realize how he sounds saying this?
In 2020, the duo announced a planned 10-year deal for Ye to collaborate with the brand on clothing. Analysis from Wells Fargo in 2021 found the partnership could bring in $990 million in sales for the brand a year, per CNBC.
According to the Wall Street Journal, which first reported on the partnership's dissolution, Ye's lawyer sent a termination letter to Gap Thursday. This followed weeks of Ye posting about Gap and another corporate partner, Adidas, on Instagram in now-deleted posts.
The news didn't play over well for Gap's shareholders. The company's stock dropped 3.9% Thursday morning.
Why Ye's deal with Gap broke down
Interim Gap CEO Mark Breitbard cited operational differences in a memo to employees Thursday.
"While we share a vision of bringing high-quality, trend-forward, utilitarian design to all people through unique omni experiences with Yeezy Gap, how we work together to deliver this vision is not aligned," he said in the memo, per CNBC.
Ye was franker. "I'm sorry, I am not going to argue with people that are broker than me about money," he told CNBC. He has also indicated on Instagram he wants more control over his Yeezy products in general.
On Monday, Ye posted what appears to be some sort of contract with Gap and Adidas (that is now deleted, as is his habit) that said "Welp I guess the war's not over."
That same day, the New York Post reported Ye would be using Alex Spiro as his lawyer in his effort to break away from his deal with Gap — the same one who is part of the effort to get Elon Musk out of his merger agreement with Twitter.
Spiro lawyer is a partner at Quinn Emanuel Urquhart & Sullivan and did not immediately respond to an emailed request for comment.
Back in 2020, when deal was struck, it was agreed that Gap would sell a full Yeezy Gap clothing line in stores and online within the first six months of 2021, per the New York Times.
The first product that came out of the collaboration was a blue puffer jacket – in June 2021. The second was a hoodie launched in September 2021 that the company said generated the most online sales in one day in Gap.com'story, Insider reported.
Earlier this year, a collaboration between Ye, Gap and luxury fashion house Balenciaga made headlines because it was displayed in giant trash bags in stores.
Ye's lawyer told Gap that he was ending the partnership because the company did not put certain products in brick-and-mortar Gap locations or build Yeezy-focused stores, CBS News added.
What each entity stands to lose
Ye was estimated last year to be the richest black man in America. But a fair amount of his wealth is tied to partnerships with Gap and Adidas, CBS noted. He has also publicly criticized Adidas.
Gap has its own set of problems. Its stock is down 62% since the same period last year. The partnership with Ye was supposed to provide a fresh boost for the struggling retailer, per the NYT.
At the end of the day, it might have just been a bad match. Ye is someone who likes to "shake things up," whereas Gap is not, Neil Saunders, managing director at GlobalData Retail, told CBS. "In some ways, Kanye was just too extreme for Gap."
0 notes
liam-93-productions · 4 years
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Summary of Liam’s episode on Happy Hour podcast – Part 3
Note: Since the podcast is long, we’re dividng these summaries into parts. Hope you guys understand.
- Liam says that people always have that friend that they annoy relentlessly and his person his Conor. Liam says that he is the one being “bullied” constantly by his manager, Steve. - Mentions The LP Shows and how cool it is to do these shows. He said that he usually annoys Conor when he is editing a few videos of it as a joke and that Steve usually is sympathetic towards Conor even though he is the one performing and he can’t get it wrong. “Quick monkey perform!”. - They joke that Liam has 3.31 million YouTube subscribers and that Liam should be the one promoting Jaack and Stevie podcast. Liam started doing something like a podcast and at first it started off with having ideas about the livestream and he thought that it would be a good idea to rewatch the show alongside fans (especially for those in different timezones). He feels like it’s a little podcasty in a sense. He also thought about doing like a “round table with fans” where every week different people could talk about the show with him. “I hate watching myself”. - If he had a podcast he would love to talk with for example Justin Bieber and Robbie Williams. A few years ago, he was able to talk with Justin Bieber off camera. Liam feels very fortunate because he had 4 other boys who were growing at the rate as him, in the same circle and they knew exactly what it was like being him. For Justin he only had himself. “Angel” by Robbie Williams was his go-to karaoke song and he loves Robbie, feels like they can relate to each other a lot. - Liam jokes that he left One Direction and that people will use this as a new headline, “You have to be so self-aware”. Jaack asks him seriously if the band will get back together and he says “We’ll at some point. Everybody keeps asking it. It’s probably like everybody is sick of answering it”. Liam said that he sometimes gets in trouble while being honest. - “So it’s like having that family unit because we’ve had to kind of grow that around each other in One Direction to have people that were with us.” He mentions that in 1D they had people that were with them since the start. “My day ones”, these people are his day ones. - Liam feels like 1D needed a break and that if it didn’t happen at that point in life then he feels like he going to be even crazier. He felt scared sometimes because he had a security guard that lived in his house and he was always thinking that people were watching him. - He and Jaack made some puns with What Makes You Beautiful. - Liam mentions that sometimes people will pretend not to know who he is. He told a story where he was walking down the street one day and somebody called him Harry Styles. Liam also told a story of a woman that approached him and was convinced she knew him from some place, asking him questions. Told a story about Louis once having a bad experience at the shops where he tried to play a joke on a woman where he tried to confuse her saying he wasn’t “Louis Tomlinson” and the lady told him that he was better looking that the Louis from 1D. - Mentions that Louis was more hands on the behind the scenes part (backstage), but Liam always thought that the stage was his domain. “Together we’d kind of lead this together, mainly because we couldn’t get out egos out of the way.” Nowadays, it’s the same way. They help each other a lot in everything they need.   - Jaack says that Liam transitioned into a very successful solo career and asks Liam when did he notice it. He says that it was scary being alone and especially lately, he became more aware of it and sometimes things go wrong. “I have had moments where it’s gone pretty wrong.” - If things went wrong on stage with the 1D boys, they would usually do Fresh Prince of Bel Air skit to entertain people. Liam usually tried to talk with the crowd while things were sorted (for example, then the sound was down). - Liam mentions that he had a big problem remembering lyrics and at the time he was taking a prescribed medication, due to not feeling very happy at the time. Certain lights on stage would really bothered him and he needed time to adjust himself with talking sometimes and even remembering his own name. He felt so anxious with this, that now he usually has the lyrics on a prompter because “I just don’t want to mess up someone’s show”. He stopped taking this medication after he read a few articles claiming that people were forgetting their dissertations and classes for example. - Best show: he usually doesn’t mention it, but when the boys did the 2012 Olympics, their first big performance after coming out from X-Factor. It was amazing to him being so close to so many amazing artists, it felt massive. - Liam asked Jaack if he was alright and if he needed a cuddle after he mentioned that 2012 was the last good year he had. “How shit is the world if you can’t cuddle Liam Payne?” (Jaack) and Stevie answered that “Not many people can”. - Liam watches a paranormal show every week called “Ghost Adventures” and it’s one of the longest running shows. According to Liam, the show is just people walking into a room and shouting at walls. He isn’t a believer of ghosts, but he thinks that what if it’s real at the same time. He was supposed to participate in an episode of a scary tv show, but he couldn’t get to America in time, and he was supposed to stay a night in a hotel that has a history of scary stuff happening. - Liam mentions his visit to the Haunted Museum in Vegas and how they weren’t supposed to insult a haunted doll, but Steve insulted the doll and the doll said Liam’s name (he thought he was going to die). - Talks about his house in America that the lights would turn on in the middle of the night and doors opening and closing. The cleaner told him that she was seeing a person and it was “Alan the Ghost”, one of the old owners of the house. - Liam keeps saying that he needs to see real things to actually believe in ghosts. He wasn’t scared of doing things at the Haunted Museum because he wanted to live through it, but when weird things happened, he also doesn’t believe it. “I’m sorry, I just got to know.” - Liam’s theory is that if you watch something going into space, you’d be able to know what to expect when something came to earth. He feels like he would like to know there is something out there (aliens). - They start questioning if Elon Musk appeared before Iron Man. Even though it’s a character from a comic book, Liam thinks that maybe Robert Downey Jr. thought that he should base the character on Elon. Jaack “I think that we, as a collective, just discovered a new conspiracy theory”.
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alienisticxo · 3 years
Text
X Angel - Chapter 4
Elon Musk x Reader
{Authors Note} Sorry for taking so long! I’ll be updating more regularly now! You can also find this story on AO3 and Wattpad, the links are in my description. My asks are also always open for general Elon chat and requests. <3
Warnings: None yet!
“So what’s the verdict? We don’t got all day,” Jett pushed as he strode through the doors once more, irritated and impatient.
Elon backed away from me then as the other men walked in with a ferociousness in their stride, clearly champing at the bit to hear what their most valuable colleague had to say about the cash-robot.
“She truly has no recollection of anything, and not being aware of how her programming works can be dangerous, especially on Earth,” one man said to another, seemingly continuing a conversation from outside.
“However,” the other began even louder, loud enough for everyone to hear, to assure I could hear. “We’re willing to pay the price. Earth needs someone new for the public to idolize or they’ll waste away. Perhaps they’ll listen to the people who know what they’re talking about if someone like {Y/N} tells them what to do from their televisions. What did you find, Musk?” He finished, turning to Elon with interest.
But Elon only shook his head with conviction, confident in his findings.
“I’d like to investigate further before this purchase is made. Something isn’t adding up here, and I agree with the danger it could pose.”
“Nonsense,” the man replied brashly instead, suddenly not treating Elon as though he were their most valuable player in the room.
I wondered why they’d asked him for his opinion at all as the suited man took a holographic card from his own pocket then.
“Whatever the price, we’ll take her,” he demanded.
I could hear Elon breathe a disappointed laugh as he shook his head and turned away, sliding his hands into his suit jacket pockets, then. He very obviously deemed my purchase to be a terrible idea, though I know not for similar reasons I did. Still, the sentiment stung me more than I’d like to admit. He was my hero, after all.
But he was in no position to argue with them, as I wasn’t his pop star to claim. For another moment, I also wondered why they’d asked him to tag along altogether. If they weren’t going to hear him out, there was no reason for his presence. Even though I was sure he saw me more as a threat than beneficial, I was still glad I got to meet him, at least once in my lifetime.
Regardless of that, there was no denying it felt like the entire universe fell apart around me all at once, leaving me spiraling into the galaxy with no direction. I couldn’t go back to Earth— I wouldn’t go back to Earth. I would rather jump out of the window in front of me and disassemble my entire being, than go back there. But I had to stay quiet. I had to remain calm. My teeth ground together behind my lips as every inch of my body tensed up. They didn’t notice, but it was possible Elon had with each occasional glance he took back at me.
I kept my eyes right back on him this time, only averting them when he looked in my direction. When they gathered around the large table to sign the contract, which appeared in mid air at the press of a button on a phone by Jett, Elon stayed behind. He watched me intently as my {e/c} eyes burned holes into the man whose own eyes made steady and confident contact with the contract as it scanned his retinas. Within seconds, it disappeared, my life slipping from my own fingers as it was sent through cyberspace back to Astra. Crypto exchanged cards as Jett, and who I found out to be Mr. Bauer, held them against each other.
The purchase had been made.
It felt like an execution more than anything else.
I had a week to bid farewell to Planet X and all who inhabited it. Their label, something boring like Spinn Records, worked with Jett to plan a facade as to why I was leaving to feed to my adoring public. I was to follow it as per Astra’s orders. Once the official date on the contract arrived, I was to hop a flight with SpaceX and hurdle towards the one place I vowed I’d never return to, and take orders from Spinn instead. After that, I was no longer Astra’s responsibility. Silent rage and hurt and a plethora of other emotions came bubbling to the surface, but I kept them at bay, turning near catatonic as my eyes shifted focus to Elon once more.
Deep down, I was hoping he might be the fairytale hero I needed at the moment; might pick up on my silent distress and come up with a bulletproof excuse for me to stay on X, devoted to Astra. Mention anything from the danger I could pose to simply being uninteresting enough. But he didn’t say another word. He stared at me from time to time. And each time he did, I could see the cogs in his mind working away from my peripheral, as he valiantly attempted to unpiece the puzzle that was myself.
They didn’t even say goodbye to me when they left, and I didn’t dare look up at Elon, though I noticed his hesitation to depart. My emotions were on overdrive—  I didn’t trust myself to make eye contact for fear I might break down on the spot.
The ride back to my penthouse was quiet on my end. It wasn’t unusual, as cybernetic stars were usually seen and not heard behind the scenes. I sat in the back of the Cybertruck as Jett prattled on to the head of Astra about the deal he’d just made for them from the passenger seat. I was drifting in and out, but caught something about how he wanted more than his usual ten percent. Who would be paying him now?
I smiled to myself for just a second as I looked around inside of the vehicle. They were rare on Earth, but one of the status cars on X. Everyone who was anyone had one despite Elon’s standing in the social world.
Self driving, stereo system like a major recording studio, and built like a tank. Despite the autopilot though, we preferred to drive the beast ourselves. I mean, who wouldn’t? But as I thought about the Cybertruck’s creator, and our brief encounter today, I couldn’t help but feel slighted. It wasn’t his responsibility to save me from such a disastrous deal, sure, but I could tell he wanted nothing to do with my appearance on Earth. They didn’t listen to him when he’d tried to speak up, but he didn’t try hard enough, either. Something told me he wanted them to realize their own mistake, but he didn’t know at what cost that was to me.
I shook myself out of the thought. How could he know, really? Why would he even care? Why did I care so much? His small act of slight compassion in the boardroom didn’t mean I was entitled to his entire arsenal of kind deeds. It was absolutely insane to think that. I questioned my own sentience before trying to push my thoughts away altogether. My emotions were jumbled, no one in particular feeling better or worse than another. It was to the point that the only thing I felt was nothing at all.
When I’d finally arrived home, there were no flashing cameras, no screaming fans or journalists and no security guards surrounding me from every direction I looked. I made my way through the lobby of the building and onto the teleportation pad, dying to finally have some privacy in my own space. The damn thing couldn’t work fast enough as I impatiently waited for it to read my code. Eventually, though it was really only mere seconds, I found myself in my penthouse.
Once I locked the door for no outsider entry, I immediately leaned back against it, the soft clang of metal ringing lightly through the space and tainting my view of my life, the sound bitter and empty as it fell on my ears. My line of sight was glued to an onyx black rug in front of me as I recounted the latter half of the day's events. It all replayed to me like a movie I was forced to watch, all of my hard work unraveling for a little currency that didn’t even mean anything just a few years ago. As invincible as I felt to Astra, after all I’d done for them to save their name countless times, to push their agendas when I didn’t necessarily agree with them, to keep them relevant, they felt as though I was disposable.
My label deemed me disposable and my hero considered me a threat.
Then it hit me.
All at once everything I’d been feeling hit me like a swirling hurricane, and I began to near hyperventilation as I let myself truly feel again. The wall I had to build up every day cracked and crumbled as a million different sensations escaped into the ethos from my small frame. A roaring war within my body swept me into a moment that felt tumultuous, everything suddenly chaotic, loud and heavy though it was just myself in an otherwise quiet room.
My chest rose and fell as it all came rushing back like a wave of water, tears forming in my eyes as sobs pushed their way through my throat. It was as though everything else I had ever been fell away, stripping me bare to nothing but my own resolve. My cold hands immediately reached for my head and I started to sink to the floor, the dramatism of the moment not at all underplayed or over exaggerated when compared to how I felt as I began to tear the beautifully detailed chrome pieces from my face— and then my chest— and then the rest of my body, tearing my clothing off along with them. I threw each piece across the large entryway, the sharp echo earsplitting as each one clattered and rolled through the space. The intricacy I’d hid behind for what felt like ages now, meaning nothing and everything all at once. My heart pounded in my chest, a familiar ache I’d not felt since I left earth reigniting my passion, my need to escape. Inside, I was dying to escape the hell I had to endure, pretending to be a body I wasn’t day in and day out just to stay alive.
The jet black mascara I still liked to put on despite no one seeing it dripped down my cheekbones in messy streaks. My soft, warm skin was exposed in the evening's hazy sunset that wasn’t quite like anywhere else in the two worlds I knew. The small tattoos, scars and beauty marks I’d acquired on Earth, a stark indication of my true humanity, revealed to no one but myself and my thoughts. I embraced the way I could feel the blood coursing through my veins, supplying my carbon based vessel beyond what the most complexly built form of artificial intelligence could comprehend. I tasted the salt of my tears on my flushed rose petal lips with slight relief that I still existed as I was, if only for the time being. I reminded myself of who I was— who the world didn’t know me to be, who I’d often forgotten or left behind for the sake of my safety; of my family’s safety.
And as I sat there, naked and distraught, I briefly wondered if I should reveal my secret to the world now that I found myself at an impasse; if I should risk it all to stay on Planet X and continue the life I’d worked so desperately hard for. To use exposing my humanity as a playing card that no one saw coming was a thought, absolutely. Astra would be in shambles if I decided to expose myself as nothing more than a mere mortal after boasting to X and Earth that they had the most realistic A.I. lifeform in the game. While it didn’t seem like such a big deal, it was in the eyes of the public and their competitors. It would tarnish their reputation forever. But the label didn’t exactly play fair, either. My lifeless body would be hurdling into the universe within the hour I told them, and they’d be after anyone else who might be affiliated with me or related to me. It was one thing to outcast an individual to the outskirts. It was a whole other to wipe out any trace of their existence at all. But they had no issues with it, so long as they saved face and crypto.
Earth hadn’t been kind to my family or me in its downfall. I didn’t come from wealth of any kind and we’d made due with humble living while we could. But we’d gotten caught in the grime the moment it all began to fall apart on a grand scale.
X was my escape.
Our escape.
I barely managed to make it out of Earth as a stowaway, let alone alive.
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prousterinhernest · 3 years
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Oh god, I need to talk about that Powerpuff Girls script
So, do I ever actually post here? No. Has a part of my childhood been re-opened, stepped on repeatedly and run over with a car? Yep. So to spare my poor mother from the many rants about this script and her repressed memories of a young me just watching the show on repeat, I’m here to talk about it from a script perspective.
I’m so glad this is the main thing I use my degree for. To spare us all, I’m shoving this in parts because I’m so glad they shoved this script into a five act structure to make this easier for me.
So let’s start this off with the ten minute teaser at the beginning. Apparently, this all starts in 2003 with a seven-year-old Blossom, Buttercup and Bubbles. They’re flying through the sky, and okay, I’ll give them some nostalgia factor for this. However, I’m saying this now - this reads like an animation script. This is live-action, and instead they’re really using the description of “cotton candy clouds”? Please, stick to whether you want it to be live-action or animation. Please.
Also, their dresses are described as impractical and it’s like... Guys. You’re already starting to describe the dresses as impractical for seven-year-olds. You know what else is impractical? Seven-year-olds destined to fight crime. 
Blossom is described as the leader, go-getter and goody-goody. Now, from what I remember - yeah that does describe Blossom. I’m really coming from a place of a person who’s memories of the show are only kinda coming back after 20 years so, if I get anything wrong then someone - please tell me.
Buttercup’s the scrappy, scowling tomboy - not even described by the narrator with that one. Instead, the narrator is just like she’s the tough one and a “hard-ass” and I wouldn’t describe a seven-year-old as a hard-ass. 
Then Bubbles. Poor, sweet innocent Bubbles, who always was my favourite as a child and what have they done to you. She was the sweet and cheerful one, most of the time - according to the narrator. And you know, I’ll accept the dialogue for the seven-year-old Bubbles saying woot. It was 2003, but you know, woot is not a word I’ve heard in ages. I know I’m fixating, but then she immediately after this mentions how the Professor mentions efficacy and you know what, I don’t think a seven-year-old would say the word efficacy and I just have a lot of issues with Bubbles dialogue in this script and this is just the start.
So they’re flying, they’re fighting a giant three-headed-pegasus monster but in my head, I’m just seeing that weird giant three-headed-dragon thing from My Little Pony and I don’t know why but we don’t see it much because you just know the writers were only thinking about how the producers will react to this, I see that “(don’t worry)” in the script and I know they’re just worrying the producers about the budget. 
Which is why we get a short-ass fight and then immediately after we get a flashback to 1996. To when they were created. Note: They weren’t born, they were created to be the age of 7 in 1996 and yet they’re still that age in 2003. Am I being pedantic? Yes. Is that bothering me a lot? Oh god yes.
Also Mojo Jojo is two people and just make him a monkey you cowards. I know you managed to get Gorilla Grodd in The Flash, so just do it. Instead, we’ve got Dr Joseph Mondel, who’s Utonium’s science partner. He’s there when they’re born and supposedly he and... Drake, are close. 
“Couldn’t have done this without you Mojo,” you are a liar Professor. You are not the man I remember you to be good sir. 
Then Professor Utonium gets his happy life, also with a hot girlfriend - why did you date Sara Bellum? I recall her being married to her work? Heaven forbid we have a single father being a good figure for his children. Right, CW? I’m so glad that we got Sara Bellum being reduced to becoming just Drake Utonium’s girlfriend (for now).
Next we’ve got them saving a bank from Fuzzy Lumpkins, and you know what? We don’t need this scene. I only hear the narrator and you should not be relying so much on the narrator because has no one told you show don’t tell? Because I’m pretty sure if I relied on a narrator for a show like this, my lecturers would have gutted me like a fish.
Mojo, who is still tragically not a monkey, is apparently sick with envy. He wanted to be like Elon Musk, and I say this again, he wanted to be like Elon Musk and how dare you insult Mojo Jojo in this way. But yeah, he was forgotten by Utonium once Utonium went famous and his son is now an obsessive Blossom fanboy. I wish I was joking. But this is no Jojo-joke. (I’ll show myself out, don’t worry).
Mojo has enough power to hold a rally, and say that Utonium stole his work and that the girls are dangerous and you know, as a concept? I’d be okay with that. I too would be worried about children with superpowers. Hell, I was a dick as a child. If I had powers? Damn son, I’d be the worst. 
But you know, he wasn’t their only enemy. They also had... puberty. God, I wish this was a joke. I really wish it was. 
Blossom, at age 17, despite how she should probably be 24 if she and her sisters were born at the age of 7 in 1996 - Yes, that’s my issue - is studying for SATs and they made it so Buttercup is cheating on her girlfriend. Thanks guys. Way to ruin Buttercup. Then we have Bubbles. Bubbles who is hungover, and forced flamingos in the zoo to drink Hypnotiq. 
I stand by my previous statement: Bubbles what have they done to you?
Also, despite Blossom being the leader and the apparent moral high-ground for the kids she doesn’t seem to be as goody-goody as she was described earlier on. I’d have thought she’d be against her siblings who are both forcing flamingos to drink and cheating on girlfriends - but no, she’s super chill with them. 
Added bonus: Buttercup doesn’t want to wear a dress because it’s compulsive heterosexuality. So, bad news everyone - dresses are completely heterosexual now. 
They go to fight Swampy, and Bubbles is literally treating everything like a TV-show and Drake has clearly been a horrible influence and Sara Bellum calls him out for it. She’s then classed as not being a member of the family, and dick move Drake. You had a good stepmother figure character but of course, she breaks up with him. (After nine years and being exclusive for seven. I... I can’t with Drake).
Next up giant squid robot appears while they fight Swampy. You know, despite there being lots of protestors, surely someone would have noticed by now that there’s only Mojo piloting that giant squid that will reek more damage than these teenagers? Right...? 
Nope, not so. Instead, there’s Blossom picking a fight with Anti-Powerpuff Protestors and Bubbles fighting Swampy, while Blossom is dealing with the giant squid robot being controlled by Mojo. Jojo’s co-piloting it and all I can think is, this guy literally has a Blossom action figure in his hand. This isn’t a crush, he’s literally obsessed. Giant squid robot destroys a building, Blossom tries to save people, ends up accidentally killing Mojo in front of his son.
On the plus side, Mojo had a monkey lab-rat partner but having a talking monkey was too real? God, I hate this.
But yeah, the Powerpuff Girls are now controversial despite the fact they didn’t kill Mojo. I mean, Blossom did accidentally, but she then got PTSD and ran away. Bubbles and Buttercup call out the protestors and the press outside their house and I just want to end this with: Just let Buttercup say Fuck.
...
That’s just the teaser. I’m really sorry everyone that is just the teaser and for the sake of it I’m only focusing on the script. I don’t wanna focus on the casting yet because you know? Imagining Turk as Professor Utonium is just pain.
I’m just gonna leave this one here and I’ll talk about the trainwreck that is Act I in a little while because really. Really. 
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Any thoughts on Dave Goodkind being gay himself? I know it's a hated trope because some str8 ppl will call all homophopbes "closet cases" and it feels like they're putting the problem of homophobia on us. There's just something about him that makes me believe he relates a bit too much to Shelby's struggle. At the very least I think there's a discussion to be had about how he's not that masculine and how his wife isn't even that feminine, plus she's a bit taller than him (I think this was pointed out by quinnfebrey before but not sure)
i don't particularly see a lot of evidence for him to be gay. I do think his femininity is interesting though but I think that has more to do with... class.
i'm sorry i know i bring it into literally everything now i deeply (but not sincerely) apologize. i have a working theory that actually late stage capitalism requires feminity to advance.
if we think about what masculinity looks like we don't really picture the "winners" of late stage capitalism. Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, these two billionares often display traits that we traditionally associate with feminity. Manipulation, scheming, being two faced. If you think about our old "winners" like Carnagie or Ford they'd plow over acres of indignous land, shoot union workers straight in the chest, and if people tried to stop them they'd tell them to fuck off. And there's an argument to be made that since then our justice system has gotten a lot stronger which would prevent similar actions but. but.
elon musk and jeff bezos get away with the same shit but they do that while posting on twitter about saving the environment or their workplace being progressive
elon musk purchasing the title of Founder of Tesla, without really earning it is not a very masculine thing to do. It is something we associate with the feminine, the idea of appearances over action. I mean it's the whole culture of #girlboss and #weneedmorewomenceos
i'm still working on this theory and would love some thoughts on it but that's basically the rundown.
(this is not to say that the negative traits I explained are feminine, they are part of toxic femininty i think in the same way there's toxic masculinity, would love thoughts on that as well though too)
So let's look at good old dave through that lens.
he's into what we traditionally associate with the feminine. he cares about his appearance, does more cardio than weightlifting, and bonds the closest with his eldest daughter. He's advanced in late stage capitalism by manipulation. He doesn't control his family by force, the way a masculine man would, he does it through love, and emotions. It is feminine, anon, you're right about that. But I don't think he's gay.
For one thing, I don't think the showrunners would go there, I think by now they know it's an overused trope they narrowly avoided with Shelby, and I don't think they'll push their luck twice. For another thing, I think the whole "you need to be more careful" and him catching on so quickly was not because he related, but because he had been suspect of Shelby for awhile. At what time did he stop taking her hunting, make her quit youth soccer, enroll her in pageants, i bet a lot of that was based around what he knew very early on: shelby liked girls.
ultimately, we'll see.
Lastly, I disagreed w ur point about jobeth being more masculine. we see her looking at dave during shelby's performance concerned and a little afraid, we see her complimenting shelby's appearance, making everyone breakfast, traditionally woman stuff. her hair and makeup is always simple but there. I wouldn't say she's masculine just busy with three kids and an abusive husband. I think the bit about her being taller is just. like. nothing. I mean some people (rachel, fatin, toni, myself) like a woman taller than them.
and you know what, i will say that's not something i can fault dave on, very relatable.
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td-hateblog · 3 years
Note
Hi there just want to apologize. Sorry for that Noco mpreg edit. Also I am sorry for making my URL to “homophobicwario.” Had I known Elon Musk was soon to appear on SNL and play Wario, I would not have done that.
you are forgiven for i had already made a joke about that exact picture on my old blog and it always haunted me in my recommendated posts tab for months 😔 we can all at least agree that elon musk ruined every media in existence with those snl “”sketches””
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Text
The Second Time Around Part 2
A/n: RPF fic. Smut warning 
Link to Part 1 
Words: 2,812
Pairings: Elon Musk x Reader
_________
Elon opened the passenger side door with a small smirk on his face. He already had a feeling that you were going to agree to try the relationship again. If you were going to say no then you would have said it by now. You would not have him drive you around just to crush his hopes mercilessly. 
Just to be safe, it was time to turn up the charm. Elon had already gone over the top with the flowers. If he could just get you alone with no interruptions, he was positive things could go in his favor. 
Things will be different this time. I’m not an idiot. I know that Y/n is the one and nothing is screwing this up. Y/n will be happy and I won’t be alone anymore. 
 The thought was presumptive but Elon didn’t care. The last thing that he wanted was another failed relationship. It wasn’t happening! 
His own bitter feelings about the break up returned. It only took a few months for his relationship with his ex to fall apart (just like you said it would). 
Another horrible morning...how surprising? Elon thought bitterly as he sat at his desk looking at another mind numbing slide on a pointless PowerPoint presentation. The sound of someone on the other side knocking pulled Elon from his brooding. He wanted to yell at the person on the other side to “enter and die” but decided not to. 
“What?”
He snapped. Elon rolled his eyes when his brother stepped in. Kimbal’s cheerfulness was too much for his older brother to deal with at the moment. 
“Good afternoon. You look….well.” 
Kimbal said looking at Elon with a fading smile. Nothing about his brother looked well anymore. From the time of his breakup with you Elon had gone down hill! He looked always exhausted and miserable.
“I look like stomped over crap.” 
Elon grumbled. Kimbal sighed before sitting down. 
“I’m sorry, starshine. I just came by because I heard that you and psycho number 3 split...again.” 
Elon nodded, leaning back.
“I texted you about it the day before yesterday.” 
Kimbal nodded. 
“Yeah, I was doing something when you did that. Oh, the reason why I am here. I saw Y/n today.” 
Elon’s eyes were immediately on his brother. 
“Where?” 
Kimbal smirked. If he needed any sign that his brother was still in love with you...there it was. 
“I was out shopping and ran into her. She’s looking extremely lovely. I can see why guys drool over her.” 
“Is THIS really what you came here for?” 
Kimbal shook his head. 
“No, I came on behalf of our dear mother, sister, and myself to beg you to go talk to Y/n. You are a miserable wreck without her and we are, for lack of a better term, worried about you.” 
“I am just fine.”
Elon said stubbornly as Kimbal shook his head. 
“No, you aren’t. I’ll go talk to her for you if you want. I can tell her that you were having a midlife crisis or something. That would be totally believable.” 
Elon put a hand over his face.
“I don’t want you to talk to her, period. Y/n is better off without me.”
Kimbal faked a gagging motion. 
“That is the most unlike you thing that I have ever heard come out of your mouth! What are you going to do when Y/n moves on and starts a family with another man? Oh wait, I’ll answer that. You are going to be the miserable ass that you are now just multiplied by 100%. I hate to be this guy, Elon, but you are getting older and that puddle of girls is going to be shrinking. I’m telling you the puddle is small and you need to give her a call.” 
Elon sat staring at his brother with an annoyed frown.
“That was a horrible rhyme. Fine, I’ll go talk to her.” 
Elon pulled himself from the memory as your hand wrapped around his. 
“Are you okay?”
You asked softly. Elon quickly nodded and walked to the passenger side of his car. He opened the door with a small smile.
“Of course. In you go, sweetheart.” 
Right as you started to get in, Jeffree stepped out onto the porch. You didn’t have to look at your best friend to know that he was worried. 
“Rocket man, wait. I have something else to say to you.”
Elon quickly shut the passenger side door. There went any hope of you hearing whatever Jeffree had to say. Maybe you could get it out of him later? 
Elon, meanwhile, rolled his eyes before turning back to your best friend. If it wasn’t for the fact that he was treading on thin ice and was trying to win you back; he would have told Jeffree to go kick rocks. 
“You do realize that is not my name right?”
Jeffree nodded. 
“I know. I just want to torment you. You’re welcome. Anyway, I have a request to make of you.” 
Elon crossed his arms over his chest. 
“Calling me rocket man then asking for a request is really poor form...just so you know.” 
Jeffree chuckled. 
“Since you are about to start screwing my best friend again...if you knock her up, which I expect to happen with your track record, please give the child a name that us simple folk can pronounce. I would prefer you to not get her pregnant in the first place…” 
Elon held a hand up. 
“That isn’t happening.” 
Jeffree raised an eyebrow. 
“If you say so. Well, later.” 
Elon watched with a frown as Jeffree turned and walked back into the house before rolling his eyes and going to join you in the car. 
“What did he want?”
You asked. Elon smirked. 
“He was just being ignorant. Nothing to worry about, love.” 
Something about the way that Elon said nothing to worry about made you nervous. Maybe now wasn’t the best time to ask questions. 
“So what is your decision?” 
Elon asked bluntly. You motioned to the parking lot of an abandoned shopping center. 
“Pull over.” 
Elon quickly did as you asked. You sat silently as you tried to contemplate one more time why saying “yes” would be wrong but was coming up with a big old blank. What was wrong with you actually being happy? Elon made you happy and he seemed genuinely sorry about his bat shit crazy break up. 
“So...we are sitting here in this abandoned parking lot not saying anything.” 
Elon said casually. You blushed, realizing that you had zoned off into your own world. 
“Right, I don’t think that we want to look at a prime example of failed capitalism.” 
Elon nodded, looking at the old building in front of him.
“Yeah, woohoo. Y/n, can you please give me an answer? I am about to go crazy over here.” 
You turned and took a breath. 
“I still love you. That hasn’t changed. I just don’t want to get hurt again.” 
Elon reached out taking one of your hands in his. He stroked his thumb over your knuckles as he took in your appearance. Elon remembered that sundress. It had been the one that you had worn the second date. Of course, he would remember that blasted dress! He wanted nothing more than to see it on his bedroom floor. 
“I will not hurt you like that ever again. I promise. Y/n, you know that I am not the easiest person to be with. Our schedules are crazy but we always made it work before. I don’t want to throw something away that I so ignorantly tossed away in the first place.” 
“I want to be with you again.”
You said softly. Elon immediately smiled. You cut him off quickly. 
“But you have a lot to make up for.” 
He considered your words before nodding. 
“Fair enough.  Would you like to go back to my place now?” 
You knew exactly where this was going and you were going along with it. For once, you were putting the tough girl in the closet and was going to let the man beside you woo you properly. 
“For some wild and crazy sex?”
Elon shrugged. 
“I wouldn’t complain about that if that were to happen…” 
You giggled. 
“Why are we still sitting here?”
Walking back into Elon’s house, you couldn’t help wondering if you hadn’t bailed out on him the week before what would have happened? It was a dumb thought really. You knew exactly where it would have led...right back to Elon’s bedroom (or the first surface the two of you could have reached). 
“If you get a weird thank you note from my brother, ignore him.” 
Elon said with an eye roll as he locked the door. You gave him a confused expression 
“Why would he send me a thank you note?” 
Elon sighed. 
“For making me less of a miserable asshole. I’ve been a bit of a difficult person to be around the past few months.” 
You shrugged. 
“I’ve been no box of candy myself. I actually went off on my mother a few times.” 
Elon was surprised by your response. In all of the time that he had known you, he had never seen you once go off on your mother. It would have been a joy to watch you complete that action. Elon had always found your mother to be too spoiled for her own good. The woman always seemed jealous of her own children. She was so jealous over the fact that you preferred your father to her and making your life hell seemed to be her hobby. 
“I would have paid money to have seen that. Did she cry?”
You chuckled. 
“No, she didn't know what to say.” 
You didn’t tell Elon how your mother called you foolish for throwing away a guy that could take care of you. She had gone off on your for hours about how you could be a kept woman and wouldn’t have to want for anything. When you screamed that she didn’t know anything and to never speak to you again; she realized that she was wrong to put her nose in on that bit of business. 
Elon seemed to notice that stormy expression in your eyes as he wrapped his arms around you. 
“Do you want to come upstairs with me? If it makes you happy, I will get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness.” 
Your mouth dropped. That was a lot coming from Elon. He never never said anything like that! With his alpha male attitude, that would have normally been beneath him. He would have never lowered himself to that level.
“Uh…”
You managed to get out. The moment that Elon dropped to his knees in front of you and fucking crawled you almost lost it! 
“I’m sorry.” 
He said softly before taking your right ankle in his hand and pressing a series of soft kisses to your skin. You were happy the wall was behind you or you would have fallen. Elon’s eyes were glued to yours. He watched your every move carefully. 
“I love you, princess. I was being a typical useless man.” 
Elon was on his feet before you could utter a word. Maybe you were so lost in the moment or maybe it was the shock? Elon had you in his arms for a long kiss. His free hand stroked up your thigh before stopping at the start of your bikini line. 
“Do you want me to go further?”
He asked, his voice deepening a few octaves. You nodded. 
“Please.”
You managed to get out. Elon didn’t wait for anymore confrontation before running his middle and index finger over your clothed mound. He manipulated your body until the thong that you were wearing was soaked. 
“So about going upstairs?” 
He asked, his accent making your inner core pound even more with need. Your brain was screaming at you to wait before going this far but your heart was saying otherwise. All of the advice that you had received from Jeffree about “taking your brain with you” went flying out the window as quickly as your virginity did the night of your first date with Elon.
“Upstairs now.”
You managed to get out. Elon smirked and pulled you into his arms bridal style. You were thankful that no one else was in the house at the moment. If someone interrupted the love making, you would have cried! 
Elon pushed the door open then kicked the door closed with his foot before putting you down. He arms wrapped around you from behind. He leaned down and snuggled his face into your neck. 
“Do you still like to be held like this?” 
You nodded, wildly. 
“I think that you know the answer to that.”
Elon chuckled before unbuttoning the back of your sundress. He let the thin piece of fabric fall to the floor. 
“That looks better on the floor anyway.” 
He said cheekily before cupping your breasts from behind. You had to fight back the moan that wanted to escape your lips as he pinched your nipples. 
“I missed you.” 
Elon said in almost a teasing tone as one hand dropped from your breast to slide down to your panties. You gasped the moment that he literally tore the dainty thong off of you. 
“I liked those.” 
You said as Elon tossed the fabric over his shoulder. 
“I can buy you another pair.” 
You swallowed any sassy comment as Elon’s hand returned to your body and stroked from your clit to your opening. 
“I still have all of the lingerie that you bought me.��
You managed to get out. Elon smiled against your shoulder. 
“I’m glad. I can’t wait to remember what it looks like on you.” 
Without another word, Elon carefully picked you up and laid you on the bed before kneeling between your spread legs.
Looking down at your now nude body under his gaze, Elon was satisfied. Your body hadn't changed in the past six months. Everything about you was still the same alluring details that made him fall in love in the first place.
You lifted your hips hoping to hurry Elon into touching you. 
“Impatient little minx.” 
Elon said, placing a small kiss to your hip bone. You moaned as his hand stroked over your flat stomach. Leaning up on his knees, Elon began to press kisses to your stomach, hips and thighs before spreading your legs wider. He internally sighed when he noticed how wet you were. 
“So wet.”
Elon muttered, teasing your clit with his index finger.
“Please, touch me.”
You hissed. Elon gave you a small smirk before slowly rising and slipping the tip of his cock in. You fought back the moan that threatened to escape your lips as Elon continued to rock into you lazily. This was his perfect form of teasing. He would just give you half of his cock then suddenly slam all the way in.
“Like that?”
Elon asked, innocently as he increased his pace. You could only nod as you had the daylights fucked out of you. Elon slowly pulled out and straightened up. 
“On your belly, baby. Put that ass in the air.”
You quickly did as you were told. Elon returned to his previous position and slammed back in. 
“What do you want, sugar?”
He asked, pressing slow kisses down your spine. You swallowed, knowing exactly what was in store for you. Elon wanted to play rough and you were 100% down for it!
“Fuck me, harder.” 
Elon chuckled and increased his pace. Your fingers clenched in the sheets as you tried to preserve any form of thinking. All that your mind could formulate was the word harder or fuck. The burning sensation that you had missed so much was begnining to form in your core. You didn't want to let go but damn it had been so long since you were touched like this!
“I need to cum.”
You whimpered. Elon pulled you onto your knees while keeping his pace. 
“I can’t keep my hands off of you. You’re all mine now.” 
You tried your best not to come apart on Elon's cock. He knew exactly how to push you to your limits. Between his erotic words being whispered in your ear and the way that he was slamming into your cervix... you were a literal mess!
“Come for me, beautiful.” 
You cried out the moment that Elon's cock slammed into your cervix one last time. The moment that your body tightened around him, Elon spilled into you. Neither of you moved for a few moments.
Elon slowly pulled out and laid down for you to snuggle down in his arms. The two of you lay in silence catching your breaths.
“So, are we friends again?”
You asked. Elon looked down at you before laughing and tightening his hold on your body.
“Oh yeah. We are friends again.”
_________
@elonscult @xjjlex (surprise! I actually did get it done today)  
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good-and-colorful · 4 years
Note
why do spacex suits look so dumb
This is probably a lot longer than the answer you were looking for but I started reading about them and got really angry and this happened. Sorry.
tl;dr: It’s entirely fashion over function.
Our first article gives some details on the suits, as well as this flattering side view:
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The suits, to SpaceX’s credit, do have some pretty useful features:
- There is only a single umbilical that connects to each astronaut’s seat, so that the amount of time spent fiddling with hoses and wires is minimized. It’s not a perfect picture of redundancy, but I get where they’re coming from, both from a convenience standpoint and a fast emergency egress standpoint.
- Like the Boeing suits, the glove fingertips are touchscreen compatible. SpaceX worked with the astronauts themselves to develop this feature to be as user-friendly as possible.
- The ugly neck thing and the helmet shape are meant to give the astronaut better range of motion in their head. (Credit here to SpaceX for sticking with a harder helmet design, where Boeing decided that head protection was not a priority and went for the fully soft helmet).
- They are heat resistant, form-fitting, customized, and have built-in hearing protection.
So I suppose they get points there. [1] 
But then there’s this part:
In 2016, Elon Musk reached out to a Hollywood costume designer to create these suits. He actually held auditions; this was the guy that made the coolest looking helmet. That was the criteria for a spacesuit designer. The winner, Jose Fernandez, admits to not even knowing what SpaceX was when he was hired. 
And if that bothers you a little, this will bother you more:
“[Fernandez] ended up working with Mr. Musk for six months to design the suit, which was later reverse engineered to meet space travel requirements. The tuxedo associations are not an accident.” [2]
The last part is in reference to an earlier note that the spacesuits look like they were designed by Tony Stark for James Bond on the Starship Enterprise.
So if that has you fuming, welcome to the club. During that six months, Elon kept stressing that they should look like tuxedos. That was his sticking point: they needed to look nice. 
A lot of the defenses for this process mention that the Mercury suits were painted silver for the same reason. While yes, the silver was so that they looked cool on TV, that was the last step in the design process for those suits. FIRST you glued them together, sewed in the zippers, fitted the padding and hooked up the life support systems. You tested the things endlessly. THEN you painted them silver. 
Most of these articles take a few paragraphs to dump on the NASA suits, calling the orange launch suits “duds” and “pumpkins.” They refer to the Apollo EVA suits as “Michelin Man” suits. They praise Musk (and Boeing for that matter) for creating suits that are an homage to the romance of human spaceflight and a nod to the history of the fashion industry. One goes so far as to mention that they accentuate the “idealized human warrior body.” Which article? Oh, just the New York Times. [3]
Now, I love talking about the spirit of exploration and the greater meaning of human spaceflight. But there is a place and a time for that: it’s when the astronauts have landed safely, the mission is complete, and we can celebrate our accomplishments. It is NOT when we are designing and building the hardware that will take them safely up and bring them safely home. 
If these people did any research into the suits, they would understand that those “pumpkins” are meant to be high-visibility for safety. They would see that the bulkiness of the Apollo EVA suits was because they contained life support systems, communications, a camera mount, a Mary Poppins amount of pocket space, and a waste collection system. That thing needs to act as a small spacecraft for the duration of time a person spends on the lunar surface. It needs its own cooling system, it needs radiation protection, circulation, traction, a sun visor, drinking water storage, back pressure tanks for the oxygen system. It needs to support the weight of its own backpack. If NASA wanted the things to “look nice” we would still be on the ground.
Plus, tell me this thing isn’t beautiful in its own right:
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NASA and the Air Force have always prioritized safety in their designs. If you had uttered the phrase “idealized human warrior body” in the presence of any NASA employee from 1959 through the shuttle program they would have dropkicked you into the south Atlantic. 
NYT drops in this comparison to try to illustrate their point. They cite the “pop culture comic con continuum” of NASA’s suits (while somehow also bashing them?), but look at these things:
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Those Mercury suits were carefully assembled by a group of old ladies with glue pots. Yeah, they look a little clunky. It was 1959. We were in the middle of a politically-fueled race to space. There wasn’t time to call up Hollywood and take care of that pesky pressurization issue later. That picture almost didn’t happen, simply because there were more important things to be done at the time.
The suits on the left were designed by a Hollywood costume designer under the instruction of a spoiled billionaire whose only goal appears to be maintaining his Twitter following. That is not a nod to the “magic of space exploration.” These men don’t look like they’re going to space. They look like grade school children walking to the bus in the rain. 
This obsession with sleek design is further illustrated in the chest of the suit: 
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I see the worm logo in the center, the meatball on the left shoulder, and the American flag and the astronaut’s name on the right shoulder. And that’s generous: earlier designs left the chest entirely blank. The Shuttle launch suits tell a different story: The NASA meatball, the astronaut’s name, and the mission patch design are displayed prominently on the front of the suit. The American flag is on the left shoulder, allowing it to be displayed non-mirrored. You look at the Shuttle suits and you see that it’s so-and-so flying Expedition Whatever. You look at these things and all you know is that they’re SpaceX. If every part of this design is as intentional as they make it out to be, Elon sure is a self-centered asshole hell-bent on putting himself in the history books. Patches on a suit should not be seen as “detracting from the aesthetic” of the design. If anything, they’re an integral part of it. 
Plus the boots are stupid.
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jrctolkien · 4 years
Text
don't blame me for falling, iii
read the first and second part!!
pairing: tom holland x reader
summary: he comes back to town after years and years, and the press are just eating it up and you're falling too hard and too fast
an; how unnecessary long can I make this challenge. also how dumb can I make this challenge lmao why is elon musk in this chapter?? I don't know!!
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the news was, at first, too far fetched to be true. 
but as the months passed and the seasons changed and frost covered the green, green grass you could no longer look at, the fact that Tom Holland Had Quit Acting sunk with a finality into the world and its people.
when you were young and sweet and when your favourite colour was blue and you were so adamant that you hated pink, you remembered how much tom liked to act, be a dramatic idiot over the tiniest of things. how, if a teacher tried to send him out of the classroom, he'd whine and groan with the essence of a shakespearian actor. how, when summer term rolled around, he auditioned for every any role he could, dancing and prancing around the drama studio in front of you and harrison at lunchtimes. how, when he was fifteen, he had left to go have a shot at a life-changing part, bagging almost everything he could until he hit the big one: spiderman homecoming came out and the entire town rallied about the little boy on the big screen.
in his interviews, the subjects were far and few, all whittling down to one thing; why? his answer made no sense to but a few, "it was a little squiggle I did when I was young."
the tattoo on your ankle, the stick and poke you had done on a slow january evening when you were fourteen, the little squiggle that looked like a three with a somewhat long tail, the tattoo that had stayed infected for weeks and weeks. it burned into your skin, even after it had long faded, even after tom had left you and his hands were nowhere near your knees, even ten years on when you watched the occasional interview, eyes yearning to look at the way he sighed and heaved like his world had fallen to pieces, wishing you could reach out and stroke the pain away with a small smile.
"why?"
"I left too much behind." he once replied.  
"do you not like it?"
"I just think that he left a lot behind." you had once replied in an interview you regretted greatly. "perhaps a bit too much, too soon."
 london was a huge city.
the tall buildings and the exotic smells and the crowded pathways were unfamiliar to you, and you couldn't leave the apartment without harrison for a good week before you braved it by yourself.
 the greys of the buildings built a small, weak wall around your soul and when you shook tom's hand for the first time in half a year, it didn't warm you from your skin to your bones to your soul and it unsettled you in a way you couldn't describe.
london was foreign, and you hated it. you regretted taking the job there and you missed your friends and the familiar roads and the familiar smells and the lack of cameras that were around whenever you were with tom.
it had been a true mistake becoming his assistant, carrying his files and not talking to him like you used to. it was your fault, simply nodding and smiling whenever he made a joke only you would get, brushing him off like you thoughts you should've for so many years.
summer in london was the worst.
tom, ceo of a tech company now, was busiest in the warm weather and you could feel your forehead start to sweat even as you sat in the comfortable air conditioning in his car.
"what happened?" tom's voice was soft and the tentativeness of it made your heart clench.
"pardon?"
"to us." 
it was an unfamiliar topic, one the two of you always purposefully swayed from.
"you're my boss now." you answered after a pause. 
and then the silence enveloped the two of you again, only being broken by harrison's loud voice when you arrived at his apartment, tonya waddling behind him, all tummy, all beams and smiles. 
"baby!" you giggled, sinking into the hug tonya gave you. she had become a close friend, letting you stay and get on your feet upon arriving in london, watching bad tv shows and movies with you late into the night.
your neck was wet to touch, the heat unbearable out in the sun. you fanned yourself with such vigor it offset tonya, who looked at your hand with such a sharpness you felt as though she'd frozen it. 
"come in, come in." her voice was like honey, thick and goopy and smooth. she led the group of four into her home and a smile appeared on your face at the appearance of harrison's hands steady a few inches away from his very pregnant wife's back. life had been good for the two of them, the horrors of the world hidden out of view like they'd been kicked underneath the sofa. god had been kind to the two of them, and it showed in the golden glow of their faces when they smiled, and the crows feet already appearing on the twenty four year old harrison, smile upon smile that crinkled his eyes and his entire face, dimples appearing like he was a scrunched up piece of paper. tonya was still tall and leggy and her hair had been coloured by the sun, a beautiful shining gold that matched the darker strips across her nose and cheekbones. 
your grey skirt was stiff and tight around your legs and you frowned at tom, who was also fidgeting with his outfit. the suit that had been shrunk by the dry cleaners was stretched painfully across his slumped shoulders and frown lines had begun to appear on his cheeks and chin, as young as he was. life had been rough for him since his abrupt job change, many long nights and many people wondering what this young boy had to say, had to do about the current advancements in the technological world. now, half a year later, his company was off on its feet, taking its first few steps into the harsh world. 
"do you want a drink?" tonya offered, hand already holding a cold can of coke. you accepted it gratefully, stiffening as you felt tom place his hand on your back. he was inches away, breath fanning onto your forehead as he read an email, eyebrows furrowed. 
a soft hum was music to your ears, despite the grumbly undertone it had. he looked up at tonya, then to harrison stood behind her, "we have to go, im so sorry."
you glared at him, and you would've glared at yourself if you could for the whiney tone you took. "we just got here." you complained, "she could have a baby by the next time we visit!"
tom's frown focused on you and your heart flinched as he snapped, "unless you want to keep your job, which, might I remind you, I gave to you with no prior interview, you're not going to complain."
"oi, mate," harrison's cool voice butted in and he placed a tanned hand on tom's shoulder. it was a familiar action, where he would tighten his hand a little much, clap the shoulder just a tad too hard, his grin stretched and hiding malice in it. it was a trick of harrison's, in the i-just-wanna-vibe bloke kind of way, clap a hand on tom's, or yours, or a drunken stranger's shoulder, stand tall, too tall, and hulk his shoulders and his neck out in a way that always made you laugh. harrison always made you laugh.
tom was quiet, you saying your goodbyes for him - 'we'll be back before this little man pops out, I promise!'- and was fiddly and stiff and loose and a nervous wreck all over in the car, tugging at his collar until it became wrinkled, his eyes a little crazed. 
"soo," you dragged out, your warm breath breaking the icy tension in the room, "what we doing today, boss?"
"mr musk is here." tom said, and his voice was shaky and your heart clenched. when you were thirteen, or perhaps fourteen, or maybe even fifteen, (or perhaps forever), you had cared for tom so much that you every one of his mannerisms down to a tee. the tapping of his expensive shoes on the car floor? too much coffee, which you had learnt when tom had discovered it at the blooming age of thirteen, when he had carried it around in this cute pink thermos you and harrison had bought for him. the way his head twitched to the right after a long, hard couple of days was barely there, but you would always know, his shoulders stiffening and his jaw clenching as he tried to stay as resolutely still as possible. you knew him to a tee, you knew how he felt, you knew how he ate, you knew how he loved.
and that was, perhaps, why the wall between you was so thick and hard to crack. you knew how he loved and you knew that he knew the way you loved. you were loving each other at different paces, in different ways, in different dimensions, but in the same unobtainable, scary way that everybody loves.
"elon musk?" you whispered, your voice making tom's fingers thrum with warmth.
he nodded, brown, scared eyes gazing at you. "well, ok." you hurried, heart pounding in your chest so loudly you could almost feel it in your fingers. "that's fine, that's cool. don't you worry, he makes cars."
"and flamethrowers." tom's voice was shaky, and the playfulness dripped off in such a way that you winced.
"well, hopefully he'll lend me one to burn that bloody honker off your face."
"oi!" tom waved a finger at you and you laughed, drifting into a comfortable silence that was bordering on uncomfortable, all at tom's fault of course. his nervousness came off his in huge, tsunami-like waves that soaked you through to the marrows of your bones.
the car came to a slow stop outside the office, parking between two expensive black cars. the sun was scorching as you stepped out, puffing and almost burning your hand on the heat of the chassis.
"bloody hell." tom breathed, tugging on his collar once more. "it's fucking boiling."
you hummed in agreement, laughing at a memory, "remember when-"
"yeah." tom agreed , eyes crinkling at the edges. "almost late for temple, wasn't he?"
you nodded, the memory of your brother frankie falling asleep at his mate's on a warm, stifling summer's day one june floating in the air between the two of you. your mother had shouted at him, so loud the entire neighborhood had heard, and you and your sister esther had hid in the rabbit coop to escape her wrath, the comfortable smell of grass soaking into your clothes. 
you had hid there once again, years and years later, when frankie had lost his voice breaks and the ie at the end of his name, and had set off to war in some foreign country. your mother had shouted then, in english and french and yiddish, but your brother had heard none of it, setting off two weeks later. 
"is he still,," tom trailed off, hand twitching towards you. you shook your head, lips pursed. he had been killed by a stranger in a foreign land, and the person you nor your mother knew who had gone to collect his body had been killed too. 
"right." tom moved a hand to you and you smiled a shaky smile hands reaching up to his neck to find some sense of comfort.
"can't see mr musk all raggedy looking, now." your voice was playful, light, but it shook as you touched his neck.
the stiff collar creased under your fingers with ease, and you slipped it back into place, flush against his sunburnt skin. his tie was in a muddle, and it resembled that of a fourteen year olds so much so that you let out a giggle, sliding it up to his top button. you lingered, eyes looking up into his face.
so, so, close.
he wasn't smiling, no, but his eyes held a warmth that told of bygone days, when your ma would cook the two of you a hot apple pie, when you would wade about in the paddling pool of the only bloody nature park in your town with your shorts wet at the hem, when you would camp out in the frozen aisles of supermarkets before being kicked out, the warm sun a constant on your young backs. 
his eyes were pools of honey, the sticky brown of them golden in the sunlight, wrinkled around the edges in the way that spoke of love and fun. the two of you were aging, and the world was moving around you at a steady pace and the two of you were still figuring things out, your hearts guarded but your eyes true.
his face was rough with the beginnings of stubble and the sun drying it out, but you were stood stroking his cheek so what would it matter anyway. the way he leaned into your thumb, fractionally but with so much care made your heart thump and your breath catch. the domesticity of it scared you, and so did his eyes and his nose and his lips and the way he knew you so well and the way you knew him. it was so familiar, being this close to him, like visiting your parents at the holidays with the snow falling and being scared about what they'd think of your hair and your clothes and the accent that had been created anew and the way you laughed like the world was yours.
"I'm sorry." his voice was quiet against the din of london but he was so, so close that it just slipped into your ears like how he slipped and slotted into your life perfectly, filling all the missing gaps. "for leaving. so much." 
you took a shuddering breath and slid your hands down to his shoulders, giving them a friendly clap. "can't keep a billionaire waiting, tommo!"
it was harsh, perhaps, but however hard tom was pushing to get to the heart that was sure to be soft putty in his hands, you couldn't dare let him. for your heart was soft and made of putty, malleable and so easily thrown out after use. you didn't want him to leave one day and put it on the kitchen counter like his keys those many, many years ago.
elon musk was a remarkable man,and the way he spoke was so eloquent, in a messy way that reminded you so much of the world.
"your company is that of the stars, mr holland," he had spoke, his hands a blur in the air in front of you. it was rather nice, the motion fanning your boiling skin. 
he had left in an even quicker blur, the smell of expensive cologne and pricey suits trailing after him. your body mourned the loss of his hands, but was rather please at the addition of a pair of oh so very familiar hands.
"so?"
"so." you answered. elon had proposed a few things that were all very unclear and far and few, his american voice harsh in your little english head. 
"I don't make cars." tom breathed, tugging on his collar with a small smile.
"no we don't." you smiled back at him, the sun shining just a little brighter. 
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