#sorry i forget to make any personal posts ever here i am a real person
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was my birthday today btw 🥳
#hung out with a friend going to with another… so had a nice time#doing some stuff in a couple of days with me mum LOL pretty chill#22 now :)#sorry i forget to make any personal posts ever here i am a real person#lin.txt
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A Spotted Mind
WARNINGS: yandere, abuse of power, possessiveness, nsfw, smut, non-consensual implications, implied kidnapping
A/N: i'm not sure how i feel about this, but it took me longer than it should've, so i'm posting it. ^^
read at your own discretion.
yandere ! SHINSO HITOSHI X READER
“I don’t understand.”
“Look, I know it isn’t exactly fair, but–”
“No. I mean, I don’t understand.” Calloused hands ran through purple locks, pulling, tugging, anything to alleviate the building frustration.
“Years. Years risking my life, years saving lives, years doing everything a hero is supposed to fucking do.” There was a humourless laugh cutting through the words.
This couldn’t be fucking happening. He started pacing, hands unsure, clenching and unclenching their fists, rubbing down his face.
“And where does that get me? Back in elementary school apparently, where everyone’s scared of the freak with the villain’s quirk.” His eyes hardened, flashing with memories he thought he’d long buried, fears he had long killed.
“Stop.” His former mentor’s voice, monotonous as ever, made him pause; he turned to meet his eyes–well eye and eye patch. “Those are the terms, like it or not. And while I, personally, err on the side of not, that won’t get us anywhere.”
“So what? I don’t have any choice? Let the Hero Commission fuck about with my life all they want, or give up my hero license? You can’t be serious.”
The black haired man sighed, “Things are a little different than in my day, kid. Even underground heroes have to appeal to the public now–”
He scoffed, “I’d hardly say I’m the most unlikeable hero. Or did they happen to forget the guy who explodes buildings and yells at reporters like it’s a sport? Oh, but he’s number two, and makes tween girls wet, so fuck me, I guess.”
“You can sit here throwing a pity party for yourself, if that’s what you want. But you have a choice to make: give up the dream you’ve worked so hard to achieve, the dream you’ve bled for, the dream people have died for…” Uncrossing his arms, his mentor pushed off the wall.
“Or,” He headed for the door, hand catching on the frame, “Go to therapy.”
He paused, turning; a sly smile played at his lips, “Who knows, you might actually like it.”
. ♡ .
“Nice to meet you! No…Nice to meet you! Ugh, that’s worse. I feel like I’m going to throw up.”
She huffed out a sigh, smoothing over her pencil skirt in the floor length mirror, and shook the nerves from her body. She squared her face into a serious expression, reaching a hand towards her reflection.
“Nice to meet you, Mr…” Her hand hung mid air, eyes searching the ceiling for an answer before she groaned, smacking a hand over her face. “What am I even supposed to call him? His hero name? Or…is that too impersonal?”
She started pacing, “No. You don’t know him, you aren’t friends.” Her hands rubbed at her face, “But this is supposed to be a comfortable environment.”
She didn’t hear the knock at her door as she muttered to herself, “Hero name or real name. Hero name or real name…eenie meenie–”
“Uhh, am I interrupting something?”
She yelped, jumping a bit in her skin, before scrambling to contain herself.
“Ah! Hello!” She cleared her throat in an attempt to rid herself of the squeakiness, “Hello, it’s nice to meet you, Mr–” She tripped over the plush chair in front of her on her way to greet him, only to be caught by toned arms instead of old leather.
He helped her up as she dusted herself off, flustered, and embarrassed. Looking into lilac eyes, she found indifference and annoyance. How should she deal with this?
“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry. That was incredibly unprofessional.” She sighed, introducing herself, “How would you like me to address you?”
He gave her his name, “I’m not exactly a working hero right now, anyway.” His face twisted in irritation, and she made a mental note, painting a pleasant smile on her lips.
“The Hero Commission informed me of your situation. I promise, spend the next six months with me, and I’ll send you home with a stamp of approval, and then you can get right back to saving lives.” She giggled a bit, reaching a hand to her face like a schoolgirl sharing a secret, “But, between you and me, I think this is complete bullshit.”
His eyes widened a fraction in surprise, softening a bit, and she fist pumped in her mind. Nailed it!
“In any case, we should get started. Sit, please.” She gestured to the couch across from them, and he took a seat. She cleared her throat as she sat herself in her chair, “I assume you know why you’re here with me today?”
He rolled his eyes, “Yeah.”
A beat. Nope, okay, that’s all she was getting right now. Time to change tactics.
“You know, since we’re going to be spending a lot of time together these next few months, it might be best to get to know each other a bit before diving in head first. Is there anything you’d like to ask me?”
His eyes scanned her, analyzing, sizing her up, “You look a little young to be a therapist.”
Internally she sighed, she was expecting that one, “I’m twenty-four, so you’re technically correct. However, I assure you, I am more than qualified.”
He scoffed a bit, “What, am I your first client or something?”
“As someone who has worked as a hero since age fifteen, I’m sure you understand that there is no age requirement to start helping people.” She supposed it was her fault for opening this door in the first place.
He huffed, rolling his eyes, “Whatever you say, doc.”
Well, that was annoying. She sighed, No, she could do this.
“Do you know why the Hero Commission sent you to me?”
“Like I said, I–”
“No.” She kept the pleasant smile on her face. No time like the present, she supposed, “I mean, why they sent you to me.”
He was growing agitated, she could tell, “No.”
“Well, I may know a thing or two about having a villainous quirk.”
. ♡ .
So she could read minds. Big deal. He kicked a stray rock along the sidewalk as he walked home. He huffed, shoving his hands in his pockets. That was hardly villainous. It’s not like she could do anything with that. He could mind control, for fuck’s sake.
But, he paused, he supposed he could see her point. He’d spent a good part of their hour and a half session on edge, wondering if she had looked into his mind, violated his privacy.
She had given him a sheepish smile, and assured him she wouldn’t use her quirk without his permission. To which he became even more suspicious. If she wasn’t reading his mind, how did she know what he was thinking?
“How do I know what you’re thinking if I’m not reading your mind, right?” She’d giggled. He had had half a mind to walk out right there.
“Believe it or not, you’re an incredibly easy person to read. Your emotions are written all over your face.”
Well, fuck you too, then. No one on the planet had ever told him that. In fact, he took pride in the monotonous, uncaring mask he’d perfected over the years.
“Oh, please don’t take offense,” She fiddled with her fingers before looking back up at him, “it’s…a side effect. Of my quirk. I can’t really turn that part off–the…understanding people part.”
She was an endearing little thing, he’d give her that. “S’fine.” He’d avoided her gaze in part embarrassment, and part annoyance. No. He wasn’t supposed to like her. This whole thing was happening against his will.
He huffed out a sigh, eyes following the setting sun. Six months. Six months, and he’d be free. He could do that. But he’d be damned if he enjoyed it.
. ♡ .
“Bullshit.”
She laughed, almost doubling over when she met his dull eyes, “I’m serious!”
“You’re just trying to one up me right now; there’s no way you got expelled for using your quirk,” He scoffed.
“I did!” She stifled her laughter to explain, “Granted, I’d read the teacher’s mind to get answers to a test, so it wasn’t completely unwarranted.”
He quirked an eyebrow, and she knew she was being judged, “In my defense, I was like twelve, and terrible at algebra.”
He remained unimpressed, “So you cheated,” he crossed his arms, “How did they even know you used it?”
“Well, I have to make eye contact, you know,” He nodded as she explained, “So, it’s not exactly discreet, but–”
“Okay, but if you’re in someone’s mind, how would they know that?”
“Let me finish! So, I’m flipping through Mrs. Kamakura’s mind, and–”
“Flipping?”
“Mhmm! People’s minds are like…storybooks. You get little flashes of images as you–sort of think of it as–as you’re flipping the page,” She paused, “Wait, you don’t get that?”
“What the fuck? No, IMAX, I don’t get that. It’s like…” He trailed off, eyes searching for the explanation, “It’s like once I’ve got them, I’m holding a leash, and wherever I guide, they follow. There’s no image, just a feeling of…control.”
She blinked, and he nearly cursed himself for freaking her out, only to be met with the sound of laughter, “Wait, wait, so–oh my god–that’s like, you gotta know that sounds kinky as fuck, right?”
He felt his face heat, and while he knew he should be disgusted, he let his mind flash with an image: he had to admit, she’d look good like that, at his feet, eyes wide, thighs pressed together in anticipation of what he’d make her do next—thank god she was too much of a goody two shoes to look inside.
He squared his face back to neutral, “I could have your license revoked for that, you know.”
She settled, a warm smile at her lips as she shrugged, “You’re more than welcome to take your complaints up with the Hero Commission, but I can’t guarantee your next therapist will be nearly as fun as me.”
He rolled his eyes, fighting back a smile, “You’re hardly a therapist.”
“Oh my god,” She gasped mockingly, “You are so rude! No wonder you got stuck with me.”
He laughed, and as he caught sight of the twinkle in her eyes, a feeling he couldn’t quite place bubbled in his chest.
. ♡ .
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Look, I know it’s not exactly a pleasant memory, but–”
“I said, I don’t want to talk about it.” He crossed his arms, avoiding her gaze.
She sighed out his name, “You’ve been coming to see me for a few weeks now, and we have yet to even talk about the reason you’re here in the first place.” She really did like talking casually with him, but she had a job to do, never mind how he huffed at her like a petulant child.
“You’re the one who said that reason is bullshit, so I don’t know why you’re pressing the issue.”
Yep. She knew that would come back to bite her.
“Just because it’s bullshit doesn’t mean it has no consequences,” She was trying so hard to stay the good guy; she finally felt like he’d started to trust her, “I understand what it’s like to–”
“You don’t understand anything. So you got kicked out of school when you were twelve for cheating on a test,” He scoffed, “Do you have any idea what it’s like to have the people you’re trying to help look at you like you’re a—like you’re a fucking monster?”
She opened her mouth to respond, but he cut her off.
“No, you don’t,” His eyebrows knit together in frustration, “I’m out there trying to save the lives of people who hate me while you’re in here making small talk with whoever’s unlucky enough to pass through your door. It’s not the same thing.”
There was a beat of silence, and something twisted in his chest when he caught a glimpse of the kicked puppy look that crossed her face. Before he could apologize she began speaking.
She rolled her lip between her teeth, sighing, “You know, you’re the first hero client I’ve ever had.” He opened his mouth to respond, but she wasn’t finished, “I mean, technically, you were right, I haven’t really had clients before, either.”
His brow furrowed in confusion, “Then, what–”
“I told you I was expelled from school when I was twelve, but I never told you that that was the last school I ever went to,” A melancholy look glazed over her eyes, “Somewhere along the line, don’t ask me how, the Hero Commission was informed of my quirk–apparently mind reading is rarer than you think.”
She started to fiddle and pull at her fingers as she avoided his gaze, “I spent the next six years in special schooling, before interrogating captured villains for the Hero Commission,” A humourous laugh left her, “my parents were just so excited at the prospect of their little girl being some type of hero.”
“But, you know,” Her voice started to shake, “When you’re invading someone’s mind, stealing their thoughts, no matter how many bad things they’ve done, no matter how villainous they claim to be,” she swallowed the unshed tears, eyes hardening, “When they fight, and claw, and beg for you to just please, get out of their head, you don’t feel like anyone’s hero.”
He knew the feeling well, and as he listened, he found a sort of familiarity in her words. Had anyone been able to put his thoughts into words before?
She smiled a bitter smile, “So, yeah, I know what it’s like to be looked at like a…fucking monster.”
He swallowed, hating the break in her voice. “I didn’t know that.”
She cleared her throat, “As the years went by, I wasn’t just interrogating villains, I was talking to them, helping them,” Her eyes shifted, “They’re people too, you know. They deserve a chance just like the rest of us–to change.”
That bubbling feeling in his chest started to boil. He decided he kind of liked it. The warmth of it. Of her.
She huffed out another laugh, “So imagine my surprise when the Hero Commission came to me with a new challenge. Not a villain. But a hero. A hero to help.” She finally met his gaze, “You.”
. ♡ .
She tossed a few newspaper articles on the glass table in between them, gesturing for him to sort through them. He rolled his eyes, reluctantly obliging.
“Well?” She asked earnestly.
He quirked a brow, lifting his gaze to meet hers, “Well?”
“How do those articles make you feel?”
He scoffed, “Oh, fuck off.”
She laughed lightly, “I’m serious. Come on, tell me. How do they make you feel?”
“You know, for a fake therapist, you’re awfully stereotypical.”
“Now you fuck off, I’m not a fake therapist,” Her lips pulled into a crooked grin, “You know, if you don’t wanna talk about it, I could always take a peek? Would just take a second.” Her smile turned mischievous.
He hated the way his chest warmed, a smile pulling at his lips, “What, you spill your deep dark secrets to me, and it only takes two months to start threatening me?”
“I’m not threatening you.”
The singsong in her voice made him want to take her over his knee. Brat. Wait. Fuck–he really needed to stop thinking of her like that. But he couldn’t help the way his cheeks heated as he imagined it.
Ass on full display, glowing red. Hands numb as he trapped them in one of his own while she cried. Her hair sticking to her face with the wetness, begging for his forgiveness. He’d give it to her, of course he would. But, he’d tell her, stroking the dome of his canvas, she needed to earn it first.
He shook himself from his thoughts and rolled his eyes playfully, turning back to the articles.
‘UNDERGROUND HEROES: ARE THEY REALLY HERE TO PROTECT YOU?’
and another few with his hero name plastered at the top,
‘MIND CONTROL HERO USES QUIRK ON UNSUSPECTING CIVILIANS’
and
‘HERO OR VILLAIN IN DISGUISE? THE TRUTH ABOUT AN UNDERGROUND HERO.’
“I feel like these are complete bullshit.”
She looked unimpressed, “Bullshit is not a feeling.”
He searched her eyes for mercy, and found none, “Fine,” he groaned, “I feel angry. I feel like no matter what I do, I just can’t fucking win; I’m always the bad guy, like this one–”
He pulled up the second article, “Unsuspecting civilians?” He scoffed, “I was responding to a domestic violence call, sue me for telling a guy to stop beating his wife.”
“And this one,” He pulled out another, “What, villain in disguise? Just cause the paparazzi got a picture of me half awake at four in the goddamn morning, and I had the audacity to look annoyed?”
He went on, listing the problems with each and every one, before sighing. “I just don’t understand. Tabloids print stupid rumours about heroes all the time, but because of my quirk, everyone thinks they somehow must be true?”
He was getting heated, hands becoming animated as he spoke, “What? I make one real mistake, and I’m suddenly like some burnt out celebrity who gets sent to rehab, so that they can get back in society’s good graces. It’s…bullshit.”
“You know,” He laughed a bit in disbelief, “I don’t give a shit if you’re a fake therapist or not, I’m telling you this in confidence, okay?” He looked up at her.
Startled a bit at the abrupt pause, her eyebrows raised, but she nodded quickly in affirmation, gesturing for him to continue.
“It’s almost like they want me to be a villain,” he huffed, hands pulling at his hair, “And…and sometimes…sometimes I feel like…maybe I’d be better off as one.”
His eyes shifted, “No,” searching desperately for the words, “That’s not true,” he sighed, hands rubbing at his face.
“For once,” he lifted his gaze, “Just for once, I’d like to be someone’s hero,” his eyes seemed to burn so intensely into hers that she had to remind herself to breathe.
“I want someone to look at me and think, that’s my hero.”
. ♡ .
She fiddled with her fingers as she stood in front of the boardroom, willing herself not to rock back and forth on her heels. Her eyes scanned the room, searching the faces for any discernible shifts in emotion.
“And you’re positive?” One of the men finally spoke, “It’s only been four months–the agreement was six.”
She opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off by another, scratchier voice.
“You’re kidding, right?” He scoffed, “four months of chitchat, and you’re ready to send him back into the field?”
Someone else cleared their throat, “I’m inclined to agree–the severity of the situation demands more promising results than simply your word.”
She nodded, and, at the ensuing silence, realized that was her cue, “Ah! Yes, well. I really do think we’ve made progress. Of course, I’m willing to wait two more months, but–”
“But he has some of the best capture numbers on the Hero Billboard,” The man at the head of the table interrupted, “It’s in our best interest to get him back to work as soon as possible. If you’re sure we can assure the public of the anomaly of the matter–”
“She hasn’t even used her quirk,” The man with the scratchy voice interrupted, “At least give us that assurance,” He scoffed, “The man publicly dismembered a villain on national television.”
“With all do respect, sir, he didn’t dismember anyone,” She interjected, letting her annoyance get the better of her for a moment before containing herself, “While I agree the reaction was extreme–”
“And the fact that children watched as a man ripped his own limbs off.” Another scoffed.
She cleared her throat, “Yes, well,” Her eyes shifted, searching for the answer, “Had he done nothing, none of those children would have lived to see another day–lest we forget the damage those limbs were capable of–he’s a hero, at the end of the day,” She was getting heated again, “He did his job; we should all be grateful.”
There was a beat of silence as the words were absorbed, and the man at the head of the table finally spoke, “I trust your judgment,” Her eyes nearly lit up, but then, “But, I also see the appeal of assurance we can give the public. Look into his mind–the knowledge that this won’t happen again, that he isn’t a threat, will ensure we don’t end up right back here in a few months time.”
She deflated, but regained her composure, swallowing the unease building in her chest, “Yes, sir.”
. ♡ .
“No fucking way.”
“Oh, come on! I just wanna know what it feels like. You’re the only person I’ve met with a quirk even similar to mine–”
“I said, No.”
“How ‘bout we make a deal?” She stamped down the building feelings of guilt–this was the only way to help him, really help him.
He turned the words over in his mind, “What deal?”
Stop it. This is for the best. “You use your quirk on me, just like I asked.”
His eyes dulled, “I’m not seeing the deal part of this arrangement.”
“Hear me out,” There was a thrumming of anxiety in her chest, “You use your quirk on me, and to make it fair, I use mine on you. That way we’re both equally culpable.”
There was a beat of silence before he snorted, “Never knew you were such a pervert, doc.”
Her face heated, and she tripped over her words, “That’s not what I mean!” She huffed, collecting herself, “You don’t want to use your quirk on me, and I don’t want to use my quirk on you–this way, we both have to do something we don’t want.”
“Who says I want you in my mind, pervert?” His eyes narrowed playfully.
“Stop calling me that, or I swear I’ll make sure you’re stuck with me ‘till you die.”
“Would that be so terrible?” He surprised himself with the words, but the way her cheeks heated soothed his own embarrassment. Fine, he figured, he’d give her a bone. “Alright, alright, don’t blow a gasket, deal.”
“Really?” She nearly sighed from relief, but then he continued.
“But” He told her, “You better stay surface level, I don’t need you seeing all that dark shit in my brain.”
It was her turn to narrow her eyes, scanning him for a moment, before deciding, “...Do you look at foot fetish por–”
“Okay!” He interrupted, flustered, “ Deal’s off.”
“Nooo!” She whined, “I take it back, I was kidding, please.”
She paused a moment, “You know, you shouldn’t be ashamed, everyone has their own ki–”
“I swear to God, I’ll use my quirk on you just to get you to shut the fuck up.”
She hummed, content, “Lovely,” She gestured for him to continue, “take it away.”
He rolled his eyes, “I have to ask you a question, what are you, stupid?”
“Hey–!” And she was gone.
He found himself staring into blank pupils, and missing the color. Though, he couldn’t help the giddiness that bubbled in his chest of having her under his control. Fuck. He knew he shouldn’t have done this. She was wrong–he enjoyed the fantasy of this moment far too much–it was her fault for pressing the issue in the first place.
He shook himself from his thoughts, opting to scan across her body. How easy it would be. He thought. She wouldn’t even remember. He could be buried balls deep inside her, ruin her, and she’d be none the wiser. But, he sighed, he’d really rather her a conscious participant.
He glanced down at the table where a glass of water sat in front of her. She’d be so pissed. But, he’d be able to see her tits through her ruined white blouse without committing a felony. Yeah, that would do just fine.
“Pick up that glass of water.” She obeyed. “Pour it over yourself.” She did. Well, fuck. He knew he’d enjoy the view, but felt embarrassed at the growing tightness in his pants.
I mean, he hadn’t let her go just yet–he could alleviate himself–No. He told himself. He promised he’d behave. He waited a little while for the bulge in his pants to die down before releasing her.
“Wha–” She groaned, but it fell to a whine when she felt the wetness on her chest, “Are you kidding me? You are such an asshole!”
He huffed out a laugh as she lamented the ruined shirt, “Hey, you made your bed–I told you I didn’t want to do it.”
“Fuck you,” she said, stamping, and twisting at the shirt with her hands, “You owe me a new shirt.”
He shrugged, “Your turn, doc,” He paused, would she see those dirty thoughts of his? “Surface level, okay? Surface level.”
She nodded, smiling a bit when he handed her his jacket–-only for her to use it as a towel, wiping at her shirt. He really couldn’t win, could he?
“It’ll be easier to do that if you relax,” She adjusted herself in her seat, meeting his eyes, “That way, no stray thoughts pop up in your brain that you don’t want me to see. Otherwise, I won’t be able to control what I find.”
He wondered if she was aware of his thoughts already, but a look in her eyes, and he found nothing but earnest innocence, trust. He sighed internally, the shit he’d do for her.
“Fire away, doc.”
It was always a bit strange at first. Storybook analogy aside, everyone’s mind formulated its thoughts a bit differently, and each time she’d have to navigate a different type of maze. She made a point to look only for what she came for, no matter how curious she became. But, as she sorted through his mind, she couldn’t find any truly villainous thoughts.
She sighed internally; she was right. The Hero Commission was wrong. And now, she could give him what he’s wanted these past few months, and send him on his way. Though, she found herself a bit disappointed she wouldn’t be seeing him around anymore. No, she shook herself from her thoughts, Don’t be selfish.
Nothing out of the ordinary; she should leave before things became more complicated, and as if the universe could read her mind, she was met with a flood of thoughts.
He watched as she sat across from him, eyes boring into his, mind elsewhere–well mind inside his. Think normal thoughts, he repeated, think normal thoughts. His eyes caught sight of the sheer fabric sticking to her skin, and he felt himself slip.
There was a flash of him bent over a woman on a desk, her desk–was that her? Her wrists caught in a deadlock by his hand as he rammed into her. She was crying out for him, back arched, ass pressing into the hips that slammed against her. Fuck me. His other hand wound around her hair, yanking her head up to look at him. Fuck me! Kissing up her neck, his teeth left bruises in their wake.
Love me. Sweat dripped down from his brow, and he licked up her cheek, biting at her earlobe. Love me! He took her jaw in his fingers, turning her face to kiss her–she was sure that was her now. Spit glossed their lips as he pulled back, rutting into her in a way that had pornographic whines forced from her throat, drool coating her chin, and staining the desk below them. Her face heated, and she scrambled to leave his mind before finding something newer, something more disturbing.
Oh my god, she thought. Was he walking her on a fucking leash? No. Don’t kinkshame. That’s fine–
Yes, Master. The woman, this abomination that was her, purred. Whatever you want, Master.
He watched her face as she knelt below him. Fingers running down between her tresses and pulling, letting her whine, and squeal, choking as he guided her bloated lips up and down and up and down his cock. Come on, He told her, Beg me, a sharp smile, canines dripping, Beg me to let you breathe. Her tears wet the purple tuft at his v-line, lips stained with precum, eyes shiny and wide, looking up at him as she tried not to spasm from the bulge shoved halfway down her throat. Searching for approval.
It’s just a thought he can’t–
They were on a bed. She was crying–his hands around her throat, fingers curled into the collar secured tightly around her neck–as he fucked into her. Her eyes crossed, tongue hanging from her mouth as her tits rocked from the force. Sweat dripped from his abs to where her legs were spread by his hips. He mouthed at her tits, pulling a nipple between his teeth while he took the other breast in his hand, kneading, squeezing. She was squealing. Please, sir. That didn’t sound like her. Can I cum?
Her hands reached up to tug at his locks, but he forced them into the mattress, fingers intertwining with her own. He snorted, You cum when I say you can, pet. She whined as his hips sped their motions, moaning, and turning, trying and failing to pull her hands from beneath his grip.
Please, Master, can I cum Master? I’ll be good. I promise I’ll be good, Master. That god forsaken collar tethered her to the bed like a glorified sex doll–little bell jingling each time he thrust into her. He laughed, and she couldn’t help the chill in her bones. Who do you belong to, huh? His breath ragged from exertion, Tell your Master who you belong to.
What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck.
She forced herself out of his mind, heart threatening to break out of her chest.
He looked startled as she came to, and she willed her breathing to slow, swallowing the nerves screaming at her inside her mind. She couldn’t read the emotion that crossed his face, but his eyebrows raised as he waited for her to say something.
She let out a shaky breath, forcing out a laugh, “So,” She swallowed, “Kind of disappointed I didn’t find that foot fet–”
He snorted, “Fuck off,” She followed, but the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.
. ♡ .
“So, that’s it?”
“There’s already a message out to the press,” His mentor told him, “You’re off the hook as soon as it airs.”
“But it’s only been four months?” This didn’t make sense, “What happened?”
“Must have made quite the impression on your therapist,” The older man snorted, “She went right to the Hero Commission, gave them a full clean bill of mental health.”
He knew he should be happy, but there was a nagging feeling in the back of his mind. “Can I talk to her?”
The man shrugged, “Don’t see why not, though,” A yawn cut through the words, “heard the Commission’s transferring her–something about the branch in America.”
His heart fell through his chest. She was leaving him without so much as a goodbye? Scratch that. She was leaving him.
“I at least owe her my thanks,” He sighed, eyes hardening in determination, “Let me meet with the Commission."
. ♡ .
She was dodging his calls. A part of her felt badly for her trepidation; he was attracted to her, so what? He was an attractive man. Even she had the stray thought now and then. She’d seen so much worse in the minds of villains, some things that still gave her nightmares. He’s a guy; of course he’s gonna be thinking about sex.
But there was a nagging feeling in the back of her head. She’d been in so many minds, his wasn’t any different. Except it was.
“It’s like once I’ve got them, I’m holding a leash, and wherever I guide, they follow. There’s no image, just a feeling of…control.”
Control.
That was it. He’d enjoyed it in his thoughts. She knew it. A palpable feeling in the atmosphere of his mind, drunk on the idea of controlling her.
She’d joked about his kinks, about sex. Maybe a bit unprofessional, in retrospect. But she was trying to lighten the mood. He was her patient, and she was there to help him, to get him to open up. Sue her for trying to be personable.
But it wasn’t just controlling her in the bedroom, where he imagined her beneath him, kneeling at his feet in reverence, like he was–
Like he was her hero. She realized.
“I want someone to look at me and think, that’s my hero.”
That’s what he had said. She thought it endearing at first, convinced he had more than earned his freedom, but…the way he looked at her,
“You better stay surface level, I don’t need you seeing all that dark shit in my brain.”
There was something darker. Something lurking under the surface. She couldn’t quite place it, losing herself in her thoughts. As she racked her brain for the answer, she didn’t hear the knock at the door.
“Am I interrupting something?”
She jumped, yelping as she turned to catch sight of the purple haired man standing too casually, too comfortably, in her doorway.
“Ah! Oh my god,” She cleared her throat of its squeakiness. She didn’t want to seem vulnerable. “You scared me.”
She stood, not so much to greet him, but in an effort to feel more secure. “Can I ask how you got my address?” She forced a laugh to lighten the atmosphere, “What, you stalking me or something?”
He shrugged, pushing the door closed as he made his way over to her, “Perks of being a working hero,” He paused as he neared her, “Thanks to you.”
Yeah. Way to go. She really tried not to back away as a hand came to brush at her hair, but her feet moved on their own. A look of hurt passed lilac eyes before settling on annoyance. Wow. You nailed it. Shut up.
He cleared his throat, “Heard you were leaving,” He studied her as her fingers started pulling at each other. Not a question. Good. Wait–why was she thinking about that?
“Yeah,” She thought she might rip off one of her fingers with the tension, “They’re opening a new rehabilitation program in–”
“You didn’t say goodbye.” He stepped closer. You know him. Stop freaking out.
“Yes, well, I’m s–” She stepped backward.
“You know,” His eyes flickered to where her hands fidgeted, “You do that when you’re nervous.” A step forward.
“I’m not–” Another step backward.
He sighed, “I told you to stay surface level.” His eyes shifted, and he huffed, “If you’d just stayed surface level,” Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
She forced a laugh, “I don’t know what you’re–”
“Cut that out.”
She sighed, “I’m sorry,” Maybe he was just angry at her for violating his privacy. That must be it. “That was wrong of me. I understand if–”
“Honestly, did me a favor,” He huffed out a laugh. What. “Don’t know if I’d ever have had the guts in the first place,” Oh. Was this a confession?
She breathed out his name, “Everyone has feelings,” This was fine. Deescalation. This would work. “And you can’t control all your thoughts. Maybe we should start over.”
He looked at her a moment, eyes widening a fraction before softening. “I was hoping you’d say that.” Almost out of the woods. “Would’ve hated for it to go the other way.” The other way?
“The other way?” It tumbled from her mouth before she could stop it.
He shook his head, “Nevermind,” He looked around, “I’ll help you unpack.” What?
“Unpack?” She felt like a goddamn parrot at this point.
“Well, yeah,” He said it as if it were obvious, “Can’t start over if you’re halfway across the world.”
He was being purposely obtuse, right? This was a joke?
She laughed, but his face remained neutral. She cleared her throat, Professional. Be Professional. “While I appreciate the humour, there are people who need my help in Am–”
“You know, The Hero Commission are fucking terrified of me,” he said, eyes hardening, as if gathering resolve. Where was this going?
“Should’ve realized sooner,” His eyes were cutting into hers, “They’d do just about anything to keep up their image.” He stepped forward again.
“Do anything to keep from another incident,” Her back hit the wall. This was wrong. Everything was wrong.
“You said it yourself, I’m not a villain,” Something shifted, and she saw a glimpse of the kind man she’d come to know these past months. He was gone the next second, “I’d really hate it if you made me a villain.”
“Listen, I’m not sure what–”
“Let’s make a deal,” He smirked, “You use your quirk on me, and to make it fair, I use mine on you. That way we’re both equally culpable.”
“I don’t want to–”
“You don’t want to use your quirk on me, and I don’t want to use my quirk on you–this way, we both have to do something we don’t want.”
He was using her own goddamn words against her.
“You go first,” He brought his face to her level, hand pressed to the wall above her, “C’mon, fire away, doc.” She whimpered, She tried to rationalize the situation in her mind. She knew this man. Didn’t she?
Stall, and you’ll figure a way out. Maybe she could find something useful in his mind.
She nodded, swallowing. She shook her nerves, feeling drowned by the lilac eyes in front of her. It wasn’t like the last time she’d been inside. Everything he’d been keeping under the surface bubbled up, overwhelming all her senses. It was suffocating. It was fucking terrifying.
She didn’t like this. She didn’t understand this. What the fuck was she seeing?
“Hey,” His other hand took her jaw between his fingers, eyes inside his mind, but ears open, “How does it feel, huh?” His lips were brushing hers.
“How does it feel to be able to see every single thing I’m gonna do to you, and not be able to do a damn thing about it?”
#yandere bnha#yandere mha#yandere shinsou hitoshi#yandere shinso hitoshi#yandere shinsou hitoshi x reader#yandere shinso hitoshi x reader#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere boku no hero academia#yandere my hero academia#yandere shinsou#yandere shinso#shinso is so hard to write for#pls be nice
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Not here to start anything but did you not reach out to the person who was the victim of racism here to see her opinion on it? Because she's been quite vocal and clear that things with Em are patched.
Hi nonnie,
I am taking your ask because this ABSOLUTELY needs to be addressed. Your question is a prime example of why I made that post in the first place. So many of you are completely missing the point: this is not just about "fanfic drama" between two people anymore. The main post that detailed all the leaked text messages is WILD to me, because while they revealed some nasty mean girl behaviour from some, it also showed a blatant display of participation and encouragement in bullying, harassment, and racism from everyone involved. And yet, the most disturbing part is the reaction from your community. It's beyond baffling atp!
To answer your question in a nutshell, I joined this fandom after all that drama went down. When those texts came out, I was honestly confused and had to reach out to my own desi community to figure out what was going on. Turns out at the time, Shruie mentioned getting racist attacks but Bel had everyone convinced she was lying - and since Shruie was a considerably smaller blog, she was ostracized and her concerns were brushed off as mere ploy to get attention and sympathy. And now, with the recent revelation of Bel's use of rat emojis, do you see why that part is crucial here? Can you grasp why even the slightest knowledge of Bel's despicable behaviour is significant here? And, do you comprehend how the lack of condemnation only perpetuates a culture of racist hatred towards this person of colour? It's time to confront and acknowledge these issues head-on.
This drama happened back in July of LAST YEAR (?) and now it's being leaked? And you expect us to just forgive and forget because they made up with one person involved? Sorry, I'm not buying it. They only reached out to the victim because they had a falling out with the main perpetrator. If they truly take responsibility for their actions, then GOOD! But excuse me for being wary of this community who will coddle these grown ass women to tell them repeatedly how they are an “integral part of this fandom” or how they “meant well” while making these mistakes over and over again.
Some of us don't see this as just a petty fanfic squabble anymore. And if you still don't see it, then I don't expect you ever will. Your biases blind you - and frankly, I no longer have any interest in trying to make you see. This ain't my first rodeo with people who want to jump on the anti-racism train but are actually part of the problem. My post was meant to call out the toxic behavior that has gone unchecked for too long. Grace, @the-heartlines said it perfectly, so I'm linking her post here for those who need it spelled out more eloquently. This isn't about the fanfic community - because let's be real, I'm not even a part of it. You're all too focused on maintaining your little popularity contests and chasing upvotes to see how your own biases affect your actions. My words are for the rest of the fandom, who can see through the facade and finally speak out against this BS.
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Skip, Julie here. I worked for 43 years in fantastic jobs. Some as an employee, in HR, and in Senior Management. My employers were very well known Companies or Government. They had sick leave policies where employees from CEO to newest employee were entitled to medical leave and privacy of all medical information.
As a Manager I was aware of some very serious medical issues and we offorded those people complete privacy. Time to heal was dependent on their medical team despite how much they might have been needed in the workplace (perhaps being the only person with authority or highest level skill to deal with something vital).
A couple of these medical issues dealt with very serious surgery plus complications, and convalescence to deal with consequences of how their bodies or lives were changed and the mental processes they had to go through to understand and accept the changes.
Under no circumstances would I have ever thought it necessary to inform the other employees what was happening with the ill employee other than to update the return date. These people worked closely together but knew the value of allowing the one who was ill the time and space to fully recover. My contacting the employee for an update on whether they needed us was their choice to make, not mine or the company.
Princess of Wales is a senior member of a firm and a much loved member of a family. In her case she has a world wide family who care that she has been seriously ill and as family members we just want her to fully recover physically and mentally from her ordeal. We care and I think that says so much about how highly people around the world think of her.
As a senior member of the firm her bosses are aware of her illness and prognosis and have given her sick leave based on medical advice. I know the taxpayers of the UK keep up the mantra of BRF works for us, we pay them. Ok they are shareholders in the Company and they have an interest in ensuring the Company is providing the service they expect from it. The Company is BRF but no Company provides health information on senior employees except the CEO for obvious reasons. The company continues to operate even if a very important senior staff member is unwell.
My personal view is Catherine has been through a major abdominal surgery that has immediate and long term consequences for her. For HER, her husband and her 3 children. She does not owe any of us an explanation or an update. She loves her job and she does it brilliantly. She is totally loyal to King and Queen, her parents, siblings and the Commonwealth. She will never intentionally cause harm to her husbands family members.
People need to give her the same space we would all expect if we were seriously ill. I know people want to know what happened to her but really it is none of our business. Our role is to allow her time to fully heal so she can return to her role in the Company as soon as possible. No doubt she is already working behind the scenes.
I’m sorry this is long winded but I feel for her. 20 years of trying to please everyone yet when she needs some help people turn on her some will be because they are worried others for their own reasons. People need to send a private message of support but otherwise let her heal.
Princess of Wales, Catherine, God bless and keep you and your family fully protected and return you to full health We await your return, with patience, to your essential role for the Monarchy and we look forward to seeing you with your beautiful family vase soon as you feel you are fully recovered.
This is a lovely, thoughtful post Julie…no not too long. I greatly appreciate the time and your experience you have shared with us. I am quite proud of the fact that the people that come to this blog, are sensitive and caring and express nothing but support for Catherine and her family. People are so concerned with “accountability “ these days….people are simply forgetting that behind the public life….is a real life going on, and people are dealing with all the same issues as everyone else. The old “walk a mile in my shoes” comes to mind! Thank YOU again Julie!🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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"why am i even bothering to write and post anything at all?"
"ngl that makes me not want to post anymore lmfao"
Because you have people reading???? Like tf? I'm not trying to be rude, but while you are lamenting over racist people not reading your work (as are other writers that I follow) don't forget about the people who do engage, read, comment, send ask, gently requesting updates to stories because writers get pissed off if updates are demanded, and champion your writing. Some of us actively searched for black writers and stories.
I understand wanting a lot of engagements, I do, but I'm starting to feel shafted as a reader who is doing all the things these writers ask for and yet read these posts in which the writers threatened to quit writing fics because there's only 100 notes. Have you looked through the notes? Do you not see familiar usernames over and over again? So it's not many of us, and that is truly unfortunate, but the group is loyal. Stray words and so many others have already left.
Just like you're feeling unappreciated as a writer, I'm feeling unappreciated as a reader because yall (poc writers) essentially tell me there is nothing more that I can do to make you feel wanted enough to stay.
I'm sorry you feel like this, but the reality is that we're black. Whether in real life or digital, this is how the world treats us. We will have to work harder for less. It shouldn't be like this, but life aint been fair to us for centuries now. I do what you ask, so I ask that you focus on the small group of us that follow your writing through.
…i’m sorry that people sending me racist asks effects me? i’m human, too? i’m a person too? like i’m not made of stone, people being cruel to me does hurt me, it does leave lasting effects on my mental health? i didn’t threaten to quit writing, i talked about how that ask, combined with my ever decreasing engagement made me feel.
of course i look through my notes. conversely, do you see me responding to comments? asks? i’ve posted several times now about trying to commit to a more regular update schedule, about finishing my outstanding work. have you not seen any of that? i’m not leaving, but am i not allowed to speak on my experience? i’ve been back a week, and i’m already getting racist anons.
chastising me for being human and feeling a way when people are cruel to me is not how you get consistent updates, nor is it how you encourage me to stick it out. just because that’s the reality doesn’t make it right, and it doesn’t make it easier as a black content creator. i’m trying to be here, to update consistently, to be the change i want to see, but it is fucking hard, it is painful, and i’m sorry that you don’t like hearing that. feel free to follow my library blog to avoid it, i only reblog updates and new work there.
we have a saying in Jamaica: “pressure bust pipe”. i’m sorry black authors have been dropping like flies, but we are people. how much are we supposed to take without saying anything? i really don’t know what else to say other than that i’m trying.
sorry.
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Bye to Wind and Lightning
TLDR: I AM WHINY AND IM GOING TO MOVE BLOGS TO A SMALLER ONE WHERE NOBODY KNOWS ME. EITHER @kikuneesama FOR GENERAL STUFF OR @konohamaru-sensei FOR ANIME STUFF.
Did you know that in 2020 when the pandemic held us all in a chokehold I decided to reread One Piece and Bleach, but consciously decided not to touch Naruto, as if I knew that I'd be sucked in real bad if I read it again? I was right. In 2021, I randomly thought "No, I will read it now" and then I did and boom I talked about nothing else for that summer and to channel my thoughts I made this blog right here separate from my main and not as a sideblog. I wanted to start completely over at a different place.
I had a terrible summer in 2021, constant mental breakdown. I don't want to bore you with the details because you don't care, but just being back doing the stuff I loved when I was 16 was such a blessing. I was truly happy in the first months here, especially with the discord servers and the oc talk and the friends I made. My boyfriend commented on it all the time, that I looked so very happy. And I was! But these things never stay.
The problem with me is, I want community, I want to talk headcanons and to bitch about characters I don't like and promote ships I love and cry and laugh and hug all of you for liking the same things as me and at the same time I'm terrified of rejection, of people hating me, of people spreading lies behind my back. I guess school does traumatise you in some way.
I can't survive in a cutthroat fandom like this one, I take things too personally too quickly. I don't understand that if you, a normal person with your own wishes, likes a thing I don't like or dislike a thing I like it doesn't mean you automatically hate me. You are just a different person and that is ok! It's not you. It's me. NO I'm not just saying that. It really is me.
Did you know that when I started out here I didn't tag my stuff? Especially not my OC stuff (and I still rarely tag it). The fear that someone might find it, hate on it, send me hate, make fun of it etc, sits so deep that I rather have my work not be seen at all. Yet, I need the attention to keep going because without the reblogs and likes and asks I feel like an utter failure.
My boyfriend says I am not good with the public eye on me and he is probably right. I envy those of you who can stand their ground and be self confident in their arguments. I envy those who don't care what others say, who can block and move on, who don't get a knot in their stomach when someone they had nice interactions with unfollows. I shouldn't care, but I do.
On my first tumblr blog I never looked at my followers, I never got asks either or was deep in fandom or anything, but I reblogged my stuff and posted my thoughts and was feeling good. I love tumblr, its the best social media out there for a reason. Yet, with this one, I got so self conscious about my followers, about what I can and can't say. If my presence would offend or not etc etc.
I was kinda looking forward to 1000 Followers because it is an insane number, but now at 997 I'm throwing in the towel. Isn't that like giving up before the finish line? Maybe, but I'm so tired and I want to be unknown again. I want to be nobody again. I want the naruto fandom to move on and forget I was ever here.
So I'm leaving! Sorry, I guess! At least for a good while. I might be back to finish the requests still pending on this account and then disappear again, but I don't know if I'll ever permanently come back. If you by any chance really, really really care about my presence, you can find me under @kikuneesama as a general spam blog with all sorts of things and under @konohamaru-sensei for anime-only stuff. This is also where my Naruto posting will be moving.
If you are a moot I will follow you from Kikuneesama again.
Thanks, I guess, for over two years of hanging out. I'm sorry I am such a lame loser.
One thing is for sure: Though I am moving to a blog named after Konohamaru, Kakashi will always be my love.
tschüss und auf wiedersehen,
~Nisi
PS: I'll q this a couple of times so I'm sorry if you have to see it a few times in the next few days. I swear I'll be gone after that.
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Get to Know Me - Sims Style
i was tagged by @amuhav because she loves me and knows i love doing these things
what's your favourite sims death?
ngl i dont actually have one, im terrified of any of my babies dying so they never do...but i guess old age maybe? because that means theyve lived a long life and ive played with them for a long time?
alpha cc or mm?
alpha HANDS DOWN...i dont hate mm by any means dont get me wrong, but ill always be an alpha girl at heart. its the alpha hairs, they always get me.
do you cheat your sims weight?
only if it fits their character i guess? not usually in gameplay.
do you move objects
i move objects every single day.
fave mod?
ooofff i mean out of necessity? nraas. but just the one i love? hands down pose player. mostly because i was so excited when i finally got it to work (i was like 13 or something and before then i could not figure out how to get mods to work) so a lot of happy memories from finally getting my sims to pose.
first expansion/game pack/stuff pack?
my first ever was sims 2 glamour life stuff pack when i was a kid. if we're talking sims 3, i believe the first pack i got was generations, which is still my favourite sims pack ever.
do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing?
i pronounce it LIVE, always have as far as i know.
who's your favourite sim that you've made?
well, its gotta be elodie honestly. she and eli are the longest sims i have ever had and i love them both dearly. in the sims 4, its gotta be my girl pippa. before tumblr? i had this family called the moretti's, i miss them and i think about them way too often. i loved them all.
have you made a simself?
oh yeah. loads of times. i think ive shared my sims 3 and sims 4 variations on tumblr (but they look really weird tbh). i love making myself, cause then i can wear all these clothes i cant afford in real life.
favourite ea hair
im with aimee on this one.
im mostly joking, but usually sims 3 hairs are a no go for me, except for some store ones and the hairs that are pulled back into buns always look really nice. for sims 4, only the newer ones. the older ones are not for me.
favourite life stage?
young adult. i feel like you can always do more with young adult sims and you have so much more time (except in sims 1 i believe?and sims 2 only if u went to uni?? idk). 90% of my sims are forever young adults because i love that life stage so much.
are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?
mate ive been trying to build for donkeys years to no avail. so im almost always in it for the gameplay.
are you a cc creator?
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
BAHAHAHA
HA
once upon a time bro maybe. your girl tries to be, but uni is a pain in my bottom, and sims 3 loves making my life difficult.
do you have any simblr friends or a sim squad?
somehow i do?? more friends then irl anyway.
the girl gang is @thesimperiuscurse , @lazysunjade & @amuhav
these 3 have put up with me despite my crazy personality for an incredibly amount of time and i love them all dearly.
but i have so many friends on here its crazy (more than 3 people its incredible!). obviously they havent seen my real personality yet. besties include: @catharsim , @plumbobem , @johziii , @rollo-rolls , @moonsonnet , oh gosh im forgetting people I AM SO SORRY I LOVE U ALL SO MUCH
do you have any sims merch?
bro i wish, but no money. spent it all on anno 1800. no regrets.
do you have a youtube for sims?
i believe formally i do, but i dont post anything. i do have some ideas if i ever wanted to, but my adhd brain couldnt cope being consistent so i probably never will.
how has your "sims style" changed throughout your years of playing?
as in sims or gameplay? idk ill talk about both. gameplay wise, not much, except im weirdly a lot more controlling then i was over my sims WHOOPS. but i still cant get passed gen 2 so that hasn't changed. but i still prefer family gameplay, probably always will. and challenges, always challenges. sims wise? a lot.
this is one of the earliest sims i have photo evidence of. this was in 2018 i believe?
whose your favourite cc creator?
the people that are the cause of most of my cc obsession are
@kerriganhouse , @rollo-rolls , @johziii , @joojconverts & @martassimsbookcc and probably a few more but mind blank
how long have u had simblr?
since 2020. one of the longest things ive ever committed to.
how do you edit your pictures?
with my blood, sweat and tears. im not joking, a lot of sweat and tears goes on when im editing.
what expansion/gamepack is your faveourite?
of all time? generations, no doubt in my mind. i never had any sims 1 or sims 2 expansions, so i never got to experience those unfortunately. generations was perfection though. i mean, boarding school? lifesaver. also led to the best sims series of all time: lifesimmer's generations. for sims 4 though? probably get together, purely because of the world.
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Woah new pinned post jumpscare.
Hello I’m pie, you can call me whatever you want tbh. pie, xey, xeymol, weird void cup, whatever as long as it’s not mean i don’t care lmao
(Used to be known as SoggyMuppet)
Some important information about me:
- i am EXTREMELY nervous and shy so I apologize if I tend to be awkward with any interactions with anyone
- I may be shy but I don’t mind getting asks, I actually kinda love getting them wither it be answering actual questions or getting doodle requests
- I absolutely love and adore making gifts for people especially if I consider them a friend so gifts for others should be a fairly common sight
- I tend to go for long periods of time without posting, it’s not because I feel I need a break or because I have artblock (may possibly be the case at some point actually) but it happens because I just have a genuinely hard time getting my ideas on paper
- if you ever want to send an ask but your Nervous or I seem scary please know I’m quite harmless and I don’t mind getting asks, it may take me awhile to respond but do know It’s nothing against you and I either just haven’t checked my notifications yet or I’m just taking awhile to type my answer (possibly also drawing something to go with it)
- I am extremely apologetic so I apologize if that gets annoying, I’m just a strong overthinker and I get overwhelmed by it easily which leads to me apologizing a lot for very small thingys
- unreasonably anxious and overly sensitive, if your going to be rude to me please at least be straight up, I can’t tell if or when someone is being jokingly mean and that causes me to overthink and become stressed
- I am very forgetful, some things leave my head instantly so I need to be reminded of things multiple times
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Random Info:
- my persona is some sort of Eldritch creature made of void with a cup for their head, their name is granola
- I absolutely ADORE birds, I can’t draw them for shit but I love seeing pictures of them
- I am not funny. my humor is absolutely horrible, I try to stay family friendly on here but an adult joke might slip sometimes, though I do cuss a lot so I guess I’m not very family friendly💀
- I genuinely do not make sense half the time and when I do it’s either weird or concerning, I’ll say shit like “holy shit Freddy fazbear in portal 2 real not clickbait?!?!?!?!“ or “will skin you alive then boogie on your corpse” and other strange shit, I have something wrong with me✨
- I have horrible grammar and spelling, autocorrect loves to fuck me over so I’m sorry if a sentence ever comes out wrong on accident
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My main interests right now are:
- space
- horror/body horror
- making strange critters
- a few of my personal projects
- don’t starve/don’t starve together
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I usually make fanart for whatever fandom I’m in at the moment but there’s a rare chance I may share if stuff and or original story’s I’m working on, most of what I post is doodles but there is a rare case of fully rendered art. I might post kinda gorey or body horror and genuinely just spooky art one day and if I do I’ll definitely put a warning and try my best to tag it properly, I enjoy making sorta cutesy silly shitposts most the time and I tend to get sorta extreme with my facial expressions lol. I’ve been drawing for technically all my life really, I’m not the best but I’m very devoted to art and designing characters and story’s, my art tends to have heavy shading and overall a sort of dark atmosphere and that’s just due to my immense love for horror and spooky vibes
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
Anyways that’s all I have for now, I’ll add to this if I ever have anything more I feel I should add
Goodbye for now, hope you have a lovely day/evening/night💕
___________________________________________________________________________________________________Commission status: currently open🔥
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Happy 10th Anniversary, PAW Patrol!!!
Wow, I can't believe it's already been 10 years...it feels like it was just recently that I was sitting there in the living room of my family's vacation rental home in front of the TV and watching the premiere episode with my brothers...and then spending the rest of the week in front of the TV watching new episodes every day because I couldn't do anything else with a giant cast on my dominant arm. Marshall and the other pups kept me occupied during that otherwise painful vacation, and I've stuck with PAW Patrol ever since.
(That's only ONE of the MANY Marshall moments that cheered me up and made me laugh during that week.)
(And here's another one...also relatable since I'm always falling down stairs and stuff 😅)
This show has helped me through so many tough times in my life, like depression, anxiety, etc. It acts as a great escape from reality, an amazing source of comfort, something that's easy to just turn on and watch when I need to unwind or want something I can have lighthearted fun with, it's easy to just turn it on after meltdowns or when my brain is fried and veg out to it since it's harmless fun that doesn't cause intense emotional responses from me, and I even binge it during nights where I have insomnia! It's so important to me, and it even saved my life a couple times...yep, that's right, the pups have saved me too, that's how much of an impact they've had on me. They've taught me so many things as well, from the importance of teamwork, to never giving up when things get "ruff" (hehe, sorry I had to, that's my inner Marshall at work 😅), to always looking out for your friends and helping them whenever you can, to "Do my best, and forget the rest!", to the very important message of you don't have to have superpowers to be a hero (this one was WAY before Mighty Pups was a thing).
(Seriously this is one of my mottos, thanks for that lesson, Marshall!)
(Had to put a Mighty Pups GIF in here after ending the paragraph by mentioning it lol)
I never stopped liking PAW Patrol even during the time I had to take a break from it for my mental health reasons, and I actually missed it so much during my time away from it. Eventually I decided I couldn't stay away any longer and came back to it with the goal of using it to help me overcome my severe PTSD siren phobia, which is why I had to step away in the first place...and it's working! I can actually watch it now without freaking out and going into panic mode which is great because now I can watch my favorite show with no problems, just like I used to!
When PAW Patrol premiered back in 2013, it VERY quickly became a special interest for me even though I was NEVER in the target age range for it, being in my early teens when it premiered, and I'm also actually afraid of dogs in real life...cartoon dogs like the PAW Patrol pups are cool though, and Marshall is my favorite cartoon dog of all time, and he's actually tied with a Pokemon (another special interest of mine) character for my number one favorite fictional character of all time! He's so relatable, adorable, funny, and has a truly PAWsome personality! Also the fact that he is TWO THIRDS of 911, BY HIMSELF is pretty amazing too in my opinion. Unfortunately his skills aren't needed much anymore in the newer seasons, which makes me kinda sad. I wish he got more screentime in the newer seasons...but instead it's always Chase and Skye now. I am still hoping for him to get his own focus movie though. I'm holding myself back from going on and on about Marshall this time, I've done that enough in my Marshall appreciation post and this whole account already and this is supposed to be about PAW Patrol as a whole anyway, not just him 😅
(The most PAWsome team ever!)
My parents don't really approve of me getting and playing with the toys and merch, but I can still get it thanks to my grandma who knows how important PAW Patrol is to me...in fact, I just got a couple of Mighty Pups t-shirts (because of the upcoming Mighty Movie) thanks to her, one of them featuring a huge image of Mighty Marshall (of course, that one is my favorite), the other one featuring an image of Mighty Chase, Marshall, Rubble, and Skye with the text, "Mighty Pup Power!" I was so thrilled to learn that there are officially licensed PAW Patrol shirts in adult sizes and had to get some! If anyone else wants to get some PAW Patrol shirts in your size, Amazon has plenty of adult-sized PAW Patrol shirts to choose from, with some PAWsome designs too! I'm so happy that the creators know that this show has a strong teen/adult fanbase, and acknowledge us by making shirts that fit us! And I'm so happy that this show exists!
(This is my favorite part of the opening theme!)
(Cute dancing pups from the movie!)
This has been a long rambly post, but I really wanted to post something for PAW Patrol's 10th anniversary, and talk about how much it means to me. Growing up autistic and with no friends, just bullies for the majority of my life because of it, made me turn to the TV for comfort, and I often saw the characters on TV shows I watched as my friends. I had a very lonely life and when PAW Patrol premiered, I found seven new friends in the pups and Ryder (with Marshall being my best friend), and I tuned in for every new episode when I could, to watch their latest adventures. Starting with Everest, each time a new pup (or cat) has been added to the team has felt to me like I also gained a new friend as well, even though I do have actual friends now, the PAW Patrol still feel like friends to me. It wasn't a "phase" like my parents had always said, it still isn't a "phase"...it's a HUGE part of my life and I'm extremely grateful that PAW Patrol is still going strong even after 10 years and 10 seasons.
Happy 10th, PAW Patrol! And here's to many more years and adventures to come in the future!
#paw patrol#paw patrol 10th anniversary#happy 10th paw patrol!#seriously i can't believe it's already been 10 years!#special interest#long post#plenty of gifs to break it up though#paw patrol appreciation post#i love this show so much#this franchise means a lot to me#marshall talks#marshall rambles...a lot 😅
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So I wrote a letter for my ex best friend who doesn't want to talk to me anymore for reasons best known to him. I never post anything I write because that makes me feel vulnerable and I hate it. But this time I figured that if there's even a slightest chance of this letter reaching him, it's through the internet and not in the depths of my notes app. So I'm baring my soul to strangers by putting this out there, please treat it kindly.
A letter to my dearest friend.
Yes, you heard it right. You're my dearest friend even if we don't talk anymore. Actually, that doesn't change anything at all, nothing can. You'll always be my dearest friend. Suck it up. I'm writing this because I'm starting to forget you and it scares the shit out of me. I was laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, reminiscing our time together - like I've done countless nights so far. More specifically, I was trying to piece together a poem about you in which I needed to list a few things that you like. My mind went blank for a brief moment. That's not good. I used to be able to instantly say that you liked music, making music. You also liked playing basketball and training in jiu-jitsu and programming. You liked looking up at the stars. You liked talking about philosophical stuff and you liked photography. That was what brought us closer in the first place. You liked working out and you liked mangoes. This is just me panicking and noting down everything I remember about you so if it ever starts to fade away, I can come back here to retain my memory. You also liked me. Oh, how could I ever forget that? You were probably the first person who ever actually liked me. I never thought I'd have to try so hard not to forget you. Our memories have claw marks on them from me holding on too tight. But I guess it was stupid of me to expect this to last forever. I mean, the world was in lockdown when we met so we were just two kids who had plenty of time to kill. Looking back, it probably didn't mean anything more than that to you. Or did it? I don't know. The way you moved on so easily tells me my guess is correct. However, it was very real for me. It was more than just a friendship developed out of boredom. You showed me who I really am, taught me how to value myself, and left me with so many beautiful moments to cherish. I've always told everyone I've met after you that there can never be another guy like you. I adore you, I really do. And it has got me fucked up. I'm out here stalking your Linkedin, for fuck's sake, like someone who has lost their goddamn mind. You've got a girlfriend and a big boy job and all, why would you bother to engage with a sad girl you met online who wrote poems about you? I understand your decision. I'll always understand. I promised, remember? Nothing you do will ever be looked down upon by me.
Tumhari narazagi bhi hume qubool hai,
kyuki vo tumhari hai.
Or jo tumhara hai,
vo mujhe sabse pyaara hai.
(Even your abandonment is accepted by me, as it is yours. And what's yours, is the dearest to me)
I wake up in the middle of the night and frantically check my discord to see if, perhaps, a miracle occurred that made you text. I always go back to sleep disheartened. But it's okay, I don't blame any of it on you. In fact, I'm grateful that I even got to know you. And I'm so pissed at myself for letting you go that first time. I am sorry for taking you granted. Your birthday's coming up soon and as much as I want to wish you, I don't want you to think I'm some desperate creep, even though I am. So I'll just write a note on The Unsent Project and console myself. If this message ever reaches you av, know that you can always come back to me. Even if it's 50 years later and the world is ending. I'll always wait to hear from you again.
#letter to my best friend#poetry#poets and writers#writers on tumblr#childhood best friend#lost friendship#sad as fuck#i miss you#grieving#poets on tumblr#sad poem#sad poetry#writerscommunity#creative writing#losing friends#literature#this is painful#urdu lines#words#friendship breakup#losing someone#on loss#on friendship#friendship#best friends#platonic#platonic soulmates#dealing with grief#platonic love#i miss him so bad it hurts
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📨 incoming ask game !
post a snippet of your drafts (atleast 5 if you have more) and let your readers guess what it's about !
This ask really found me at the worst time i literally have 96 drafts 💀 wips list maybe 🙀🙀🙀 there's only a handful of them but here you go, i may scrap these or completely change them so just keep that in mind y'know 💀 I HAVE MORE ENHYPEN STUFF BUT I WAS PLANNING TO DO SOMETHING ELSE SO I CAN'T SPOIL THEM YET
✧ REACTIONS
( i didn't include snippets in these cause it doesn't make sense without context 😭💀)
001: tubatu - you forget their pet's birthday
002: enhypen - you are taller than them
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003: introducing tubatu to your family
✧ HEADCANNONS
001: txt as cliché romance tropes
── "you always cheat off me but you don't know my name?" you smiled at him, his eyes almost dissapearing as a guilty smile beamed back at you. "no wonder we're both taking the make-up test," he chuckled softly "do you maybe want to study together? i have no idea what i'm doing" his eyes trained on the marbled tiles below you "i don't have a clue either, i'm sure we'll figure it out though"
002: txt as tragic romance tropes
── maybe your mother was right, kai was indeed so perfect he didn't seem real. maybe her tears every time you mentioned him were off happiness—happy that her child had found someone who loves and appreciates them despite their circumstances. he was real, you felt it. the way he talked to you, touched you, kissed you. you could see his love clear as day—but schizophrenics who haven't taken their meds in weeks don't always see the truth, do they?
003: txt and how they show their love for you
── he takes care of you; throwing an extra jacket over his shoulder when you go out on a particularly cold day, scolding you as you shiver — with love of course, for not listening to him when he told you to cover up.
ㅤ
✧ TIMESTAMPS
001: [4:27 am] - c.bg
── any normal person would be sound asleep asleep right now, after all, 4 in the morning was an unusual hour to be up at when you had work in the morning. you, like a normal person, did have work in the morning, however sitting next to you, was the most abnormal person you've ever known. he too, like a normal person had a full schedule that would start in about an hour; instead opting to keep you and himself up throughout the night rather than getting the sleep he'd need to function throughout the day.
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✧ FICS
(starting off with the tyun fic cause @yv17 will bite my head off 🫶)
001: Cash Or Card? - K.TH
002: Bookworm - C.BG
── be it early in the morning when he thought the others were still sleeping, or late at night when his eyes are struggling to stay open, he would always show up infront of you. it had become a force of habit at this point, never fully conscious or aware of his thoughts when he made the decision to grab another drink or pass by, his feet just carried him back to you sooner or later. dimples poking out of his cheeks, face dusted in red as he smiled, a smile he wore only when he knew he would see you. the same smile you searched for everyday without fail, your own lips curling at the sight
── "you can barely keep your eyes open y/n." beomgyu placed a gentle hand on your back, his gaze softening seeing your droopy eyelids. as adorable as you looked to him right now, he could see you were exhausted, anyone could— the way your head hung low enough to practically fall off your neck, your eyes red and bloodshot from the hours of forcing them awake to read one last paragraph, and your sleep schedule practically non existent due to you devouring one book after the other to store the information somewhere there in your brain.
003: Strings - C.BG
── "can a best friend not call another best friend over to sing them love songs anymore?" he smiled, his eyebrows furrowed.
004: Mistletoe - K.TH
── "this is all my fault, i'm so sorry" taehyun took your hand in his, caressing it softly "if i knew you were allergic i never would have hung the mistletoe, i wanted to kiss you, not send you to the hospital"
005: Gingerbread - Y.JW
── "maybe if you actually followed the recipe you wouldn't make a disaster every time" jungwon snickered, the piping bag clutched tightly in his hand—skillfully swirling buttercream roses onto the side of your gingerbread house
#𝐈𝐈. ── 📻 asks!#𝐈𝐈𝐈. ── 👥 anons!#𝐗𝐈. ── 🎮 games!#txt fluff#enhypen fluff#choi soobin#choi yeonjun#choi beomgyu#kang taehyun#huening kai#lee heeseung#park jongseong#sim jaeyun#park sunghoon#kim sunoo#yang jungwon#nishimura riki#txt x reader#soobin fluff#yeonjun fluff#beomgyu fluff#taehyun fluff#hueningkai fluff#heeseung fluff#jay fluff#jake fluff#sunghoon fluff#sunoo fluff#jungwon fluff#niki fluff
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I actually think it is important to be be 'controversial' sometimes because it clears your mind. I am speaking from personal experience. After reading same things over and over again in the tag and seeing the same takes, it blurs your mind and it is like you join a caddle. Then you kinda need to step back and think more clearly and reading other takes and readings help you to clear your mind. I've changed my mind on many things because of that and I believe I have a better understanding in things now than before. Like. I am not gonna get blindsided by what happens next on the show because I do not agree with most popular byler takes (that are reaches most of the time). I still read those things but I am open to different or 'controversial' takes and ideas that are not widely accepted by the bylers in the tag.
Hi anon!!!! Oop I went on a rant so hold on lemme put a read more. Warning I talk about byler doubt (just the concept of having doubts nothing specific about it) towards the end.
Okay anon I agree and this makes me feel good about posting opinions that go against the grain. So thank you for saying this, because I'll be real even though I am confident in my takes, sometimes voicing them comes with a level of anxiety. Here's the thing. The tag likes to act like there are certain things we know for sure are going to happen in S5 (byler endgame being the biggest thing obviously, but there are lots of other more specific things, byler related and not) and the truth is: We Don't Know Anything For Sure!! And I think it's wise to be prepared for the possibility that things work out differently than we are expecting. And this goes for fandom discourse as well not just theories like I think the tag is a bit of an echo chamber, like you said. It truly is easy to get sucked it. I've always been extremely skeptical, that's just how I am, and sometimes I forget that just.. not everyone is as skeptical as I am. Don't get me wrong, I have been sucked in before too. There have been instances where I held an opinion, then when I examined it further I realized it was just rooted in the fact that everyone else held that opinion, and I didn't actually agree with it. But generally I take anything and everything with several grains of salt, which is why like you said it's probably good for me to talk about my opinions when they differ from the norm, because it offers an alternative line of thinking. I do keep my mouth shut about most things because I like to be liked, but yk... I also. hmm do I wanna talk about this.. eh fuck it. I think the biggest thing that makes me "controversial" to some people, other than disagreeing with widely accepted theories, is that I have on several occasions voiced my Byler Doubt™️. And honestly there's a reason why I do sometimes talk about it. I realize that there's no point in dwelling on the possibility of byler not happening, it's depressing. And I would never put doubt in the tag or anything like that. But here's my thing. When I was a smaller blog and didn't have the platform I do now, NONE of the big blogs ever EVER expressed any level of doubt. The narrative was "having doubt is bad, endgame is obvious, if you don't find it obvious you are media illiterate, stuck in heteronormativity, or just plain stupid." And I vehemently disagree with that. Frankly? I find 100% confidence to be a little bit unrealistic, but I would never ever think someone is any less intelligent for having 100% confidence! But I digress. My point is, I suspect there are many people, like me, who have doubts and who feel very isolated. Having doubt is literally taboo, which is insane to me. It's cult vibes is what it is. Anyway. Now that I have a big enough platform that I more or less can kind of say what I want and not get blacklisted, I almost feel a responsibility to occasionally be like hey by the way, I have my doubts! Just so people know. Because it doesn't make you stupid. It makes you realistic. Okay rant over sorry <3
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far from it to be my style to post about hashtag mental health issues on main but like. look. ive& been psychotic as far back as i can tangibly remember (hallucinating at 10-11, cognitive symptoms and episodes by 13-14). its been a part of my life so long that like... in a lot of ways im used to it and coping with symptoms and my life grew around a lot of the symptoms. like a tree trunk growing around a foreign object as a sapling. something that pierces directly through the middle but doesnt really impact the trees ability to stay alive in any meaningful way.
so like in a lot of ways im used to being in my own head. my partner is good at recognizing that things that are distressing to me in episodes dont process whatsoever as distressing to me a good chunk of the time. when im acting visibly distressed it actually means my level of distress is at like, 200%. its fucking unmanageable. if im visibly distressed its worse than anyone could conceptualize because typically otherwise im just numb to a lot of it or its just default my reality that its not distressing in any meaningful way until after the fact.
but like im ngl just because ive spent all of my teenage years upwards trying to take up literally the least space possible to exist and never show 80% of my "unacceptable" symptoms to 99% of people does not mean it makes it any less uncomfortable or awkward to like. be the token psychotic in some groups. to have to be the buzzkill and shit thats like hey sorry heres my hyperspecific request of the year because im fucking insane.
its miserable in a fresh new way of like sorry to have to remind everyone that its not actually a funny character quirk or joke my brain literally does not exist in your 'reality' in any meaningful way and the further outside of it i am on a given day the more unpleasant youre going to find me to be around. ignoring the insane person talking aimlessly in public doesnt actually help me it usually just reinforces that youre not real and never will be if its a bad enough day.
its never intentional. like nobody is ever doing this on purpose. especially again because i spent so much of my life being very good at hiding it. but like... it sucks so much to be masking half the time and be a little too good at it so when you stop being able to people are always levels of uncomfortable or upset. it sucks when you cant articulate anything properly and nobody really knows how to understand what youre asking for. it sucks when you have multiple severe memory conditions and cant trust your own memory and everyone immediately questions your memory when you ask for anything or point anything out. like of course im just going to fucking fold.
i dont know where im going with this or if this itself is even that coherent i know it sounds super vague but it really isnt about anyone specific im just babbling about like years worth of garbage. i got so fucked over by fakeclaiming culture because unfortunately when i started really displaying symptoms i was a teenager trying not to kill himself and being fucking insane loudly in virtual public when that was apparently an "obvious sign of exaggerating" so i had to learn to shut the fuck up and now everybody loves to forget how much im fucking unwell because god forbid you think too hard about what youre saying around others.
thank god for my partner who is literally the first person in my entire life whos ever tried to understand and genuinely knows how to talk to me when im in a particularly bad delusion or hallucinating or whatever.
man. im tired. i found out this last month i probably need to get a cane when i move out and i still feel like im going to be appropriating shit because severe knee and upper leg paint and severe balance problems cant be that bad. i hate having memory problems so bad that i so easily can be told that i dont know shit and Y is actually what happened and i usually cant actually argue against it even if im so sure thats not true.
#miles organizer#;kaz#this actually isnt really that bitter im just. talking. miserably. about psychosis.#i think i should be allowed to just be fucking insane in public and everybody should just have to deal with it and stop being uncomfortable#(thats kind of a joke im just sad.)
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juno is practically brimming with excitement as she enters the wired studio . she’s really got nothing to hide and after years of watching wired’s autocomplete series , juno already has a whole thing envisioned . she wouldn’t necessarily categorize herself as a nepo baby but she could definitely see how she’d fall into the category . super rich parents . a mother who’s a known socialite , philanthropist and at one point , a model . and a father who’s a prominent figurehead in new york real estate . she’s got a leg up on the others . // @nepofminspo
“ hi i’m juno choi and this is the WIRED autocomplete interview ... ”
autocomplete suggests the most common searches on the internet
“ i’m actually super excited for this . i’ve always wanted to do one of these . ”
so WIRED asked juno choi some of the internet’s burning questions
WHO ...
“ alright , here we go . ” [ juno is chuckling as she rips off the piece of paper ]
who is JUNO CHOI ?
“ that feels like a very loaded question . who am i ? what am i ? just kidding . hi , for those of you who don’t know me , i’m juno . i really like cars . ”
who does JUNO CHOI look like ?
“ i think all you kdrama fans might know the answer to this but a lot of people say i look like this one korean actress , kim yoo-jung . love her . love her work . ”
who is JUNO CHOI related to ?
“ my mom , alexis , and my dad , colin . if you’re both watching this , hi . ” [ juno waves at the camera ] “ and i can’t forget josie . love you . ” [ juno makes a heart at the camera ]
who does JUNO CHOI look up to ?
“ my uncle hunter . taught me all i know about cars . and also the man responsible for making me unbearable when it comes to talking about cars . ” [ juno laughs ] “ and ��jane fonda . she just exudes this energy that i personally love . she’s just so proudly her and doesn’t give a [ bleep ] –– sorry i forgot i technically can’t say that . ” [ juno sheepishly chuckles ]
HOW ...
how is JUNO CHOI ?
“ i’m doing well , thanks for asking ! ”
how can i meet JUNO CHOI ?
“ uhh , well –– if you ever see me out an about don’t be shy . come say hi . i promise i don’t bite . ”
how tall is JUNO CHOI ?
“ i think i’m five foot seven , last i checked . ”
IS ...
is JUNO CHOI from new york ?
“ i am , yeah . born and raised in manhattan . ”
is JUNO CHOI in a relationship ?
“ i am currently not in a relationship . single as a pringle and that’s okay . don’t let anyone convince you that being single is a problem . ”
is JUNO CHOI in love ?
“ that’s a loaded question . can i say i love my cars ? because i do . they’re my babies . but if you’re talking about romantic love then no . platonic and familial love , of course . i love my friends and family . ”
WHAT ...
what is JUNO CHOI known for ?
“ i guess i’d say i’m known for my stunt driving work ? other than that , i guess it’s how much i post my restored cars on instagram . ” [ juno laughs lightly ]
what is JUNO CHOI’S zodiac sign ?
“ i am a virgo sun , scorpio moon , cancer rising . ”
what is JUNO CHOI starbucks order ?
“ a little basic but my go-to starbucks order is a nitro coldbrew with vanilla sweet cream . ”
what was JUNO CHOI first job ?
“ technically , my first job was when i modeled for a gap campaign in 2004 . first job as an adult ? i got a small gig as a stunt driver . ”
what was JUNO CHOI first movie ?
“ john wick: chapter 2 and i will never forget it . it was such a surreal experience and keanu reeves ? he is just wonderful . love him . love working with him . honestly love any movie where i get to work with him . ”
what languages can JUNO CHOI speak ?
“ at the moment , i can speak korean , french , spanish , latin , greek and i’m currently learning how to speak italian . ”
DOES ...
does JUNO CHOI have tattoos ?
“ i currently do not have any tattoos . but that might chance depending on when this video is published . ”
does JUNO CHOI have siblings ?
“ i do ! i have a younger sister . ” [ juno turns to stare intensely at the camera ] “ rosie , if you’re watching this , i want my jacket back . you know which one i’m talking about . ”
does JUNO CHOI like LIVIA KELLY ?
“ she’s one of my closest friends so i feel like it’s kind of a given that i like her . that’s a pretty big requirement to establish a friendship . ”
does JUNO CHOI do yoga ?
“ on occasion . i just need to be more consistent with it . ”
does JUNO CHOI have a pet ?
“ i do ! i recently adopted a cat . ” [ juno pulls out her phone and shows a picture of her cat to the camera ] “ his name is dubu and i love him . ”
DID ...
did JUNO CHOI date LIVIA KELLY ?
[ juno laughs before she finishes removing the piece of paper ] “ i hate to disappoint because i know some of you have your theories but we’ve never dated . you heard it here first folks ! ”
did JUNO CHOI ever delete their social media ?
“ delete , no . gone on a really long hiatus ? yes , absolutely . ”
WHERE ...
where did JUNO CHOI go to college ?
“ i went to columbia for undergrad and cornell for grad school . ”
where is JUNO CHOI right now ?
“ well ... i’m currently in new york at an unnamed studio with wired ! ”
[ juno tosses the prop behind her as the extended endscreen comes on to show wired’s other videos ]
“ well i appreciate the kinda intrusive but also basic questions you all have about me . ”
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Hello there! I've readed this post and I have some questions for you about dazai mbti you actually analysis that dazai is INTP and my question is why you put him as intuitive not a sensor? usually sensors can not forget about their past and they tend to focus on the present unlike the intuitive users they tend to focus on the future more than their present time or their past! Please can you please make it clear for me😅 and I'm sorry if I annoyed you with my question!💕 have a nice day🌼🦋
Hihi!
Well I find this to be a pretty loaded question, in that there are a lot of moving parts that occur to me when I think about answering. Among them is the fact that MBTI typing can be a pretty divisive topic, so I welcome people to disagree with me if they have a coherent argument to oppose my own. That being said, I would like to stress that there are a lot of subtleties when it comes to typing people as well. From shadow types, to certain functions operating in tandem in the form of corrosive loops, and the fact that understanding the itemized level of a person’s typing is just as important as understanding it on a holistic level.
One of the greater difficulties of MBTI typing is that it can be difficult to pinpoint when a person is in a highly unhealthy state. Because of Dazai’s very real struggles with depression and self-harm, I do think it’s worth noting that it can throw a wrench when it comes to analyzing. I feel as though you are mistaking the symptoms of his traumatic reaction to somebody committing [redacted] in front of him, than necessarily him showing a longing for the past. If anything that’s outright wrong; when he speaks to MC about the past, he talks about a lifelong estrangement to the people around him that made him highly uncomfortable and unhappy. He does not seek an idyllic childhood/boyhood that defined the beginning of his life that he goes back to, nor does he seem very interested in continuing to live that way.
Rather, he is obsessed with that singular event because of the depth of the guilt and horror that it inspired. Given his sensitivity to people's pain/struggles, it's only natural that he would be profoundly scarred by his inability to save someone's life. And if I'm honest I think anybody would be disturbed by an event like that, it only set him off so extremely because he was already losing his faith in both himself and the world. Part of the reason he is so different after the events of his own main story route is because of the nature of his connection to MC. For the first time, he feels both seen and loved as he is--not as the person he performs for the world to see.
With that preface, I am here to say that I have actually shifted my opinion on Dazai’s typing in the last year or so. More specifically, I think he’s an INFJ rather than an INTP. Historically speaking, people pretty heavily believe he was an INFJ--which I think is a great deal accurate as well. I would say the enneagram between the two different manifestations (the real vs the fictional) is up for debate, but otherwise they share a great deal of similarities.
As for your concern about him being a sensor, my response is to say that it is an oversimplification of a single aspect of being a sensor. And if I’m honest, I don’t really think typings like ISTP or ISFJ suit Dazai at all. Neither do I think he could ever be an ESTP or an ISTJ. Functions like Se and Si are more broad than a simple “attachment to the past,” and Dazai does not primarily express those qualities.
Se is out of the question, namely because he really doesn’t show much of any convincing enjoyment in worldly things, or skills pertaining to that type of focus. He is, to the contrary, very dreamy and invested in the meanings of things--whether it be a single pen, a shared conversation, or a flower in spring (characteristic of Ni). High Si is also out of the question, in that he really does not showcase the more characteristic manifestations of this function or the subtly robotic overtones that distinguish it in high measure. (Si is often known to be traditional, very explicit and attuned attention to detail, more memorization heavy than the creative and intuitive Ni that Dazai expresses.) Si is also very subjective in terms of their life experiences, and while I do believe Dazai to be a very internally focused person, his raw capacity for dissecting other people and their motivations speak to a more objective analytical ability--characteristic of Fe and Te, typically.
Hopefully this reply is helpful, and again--it’s not imperative that you agree with me. This is just the lens by which I understand and dissect his behavior. His unhealthy state speaks to a pretty acute NiTi loop, his healthy behavior is openly NiFe in aspect, and his Ti and Se are on the weaker end of his function stack. His shadow ENFP is exceedingly evident when he is unhealthy as well, in that he relies a great deal on seemingly chaotic behaviors characteristic of the Ne function (and the perceived bubbliness of fake Ne + Fi). Always seeking varied stimuli and possibilities, testing the limits--or so it seems. Ultimately, even his shadow function is always in service of his primary NiFe; he is most interested in the regulation of his social environment, reading and crafting the mood to serve his own ends or help others.
#ikevamp#ikemen vampire#ikevamp dazai#bet you thought you'd seen the last of me#LMFAO but in all seriousness#hi everybody hope you been well#im going to be answering a few things here and there
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Hi there! I guess I'll use Tumblr a lot cause I've been abandoning it for more than a year haha- Guess I'll introduce myself!
For my online name, please call me Blossom.
Mutuals can call me by my actual name or nickname! If you accidentally call me by my real name or nickname, no worries, if you figure out what my real name/nickname is then you can choose either that or my online name (I mostly prefer my online name), just, not my full name obviously!
I want to remind everyone first that I am still new to this app! So any knowledge you guys have that I don't know will be helpful!
Fun fact! I have other Socials!
Instagram: the_underrated_artist789 (more active there than in here!)
I have YouTube, Discord, and kinda Twitter (?) but there are some stuff and confusing things about those apps that makes me not want to not share them here
YouTube: There are old videos there I consider cringy but I kinda want to keep them up? But eventually I'll put them down if I want to, Plus I don't post there as often or at all atleast
Discord: I feel like it's a little personal, I'll only share if you're a TRUSTED mutual, and that you're more confortable talking to me there, then I'll send it to you privately!
Twitter: Twitter is a confusing one here... I don't actually have the app lmao- I only use the website version, cause of it's reputation I refuse to have the actual app and since I use the website version there are times it forces me to use my email, I grudgingly had to use my google email so yeah, I guess I have twitter? But unsure, so for now no sharing sorry hehe-
I am a minor so please, No funny business.
Also, I am an Artist! 🎨
I will post them once in a while, and probably some that I never show in my Insta! 👀
Oh yeah speaking of art, I do allow reposts! Both with or without my permission! But PLEASE do credit me! It's all I ask for! Oh and uh, NO STEALING MY ART. Thank you! 😚
I am also Multifandom, and a Multishipper! But! I will probably post mostly one thing than another so bare with me! I can hyperfix on things so easily! And for ships I will probably ship more hetero ships than gay ones, but no worries! I too am part of the community and love some gay ships more than hetero ones!
Also I will obsess about MuiTan (Muichiro and Tanjiro) a lot so forgive me I love them and the ship itself a lot 🥺🥺❤️💙
My ask box will be open for questions, and requests! But if I never do or reply to your question/request, I am deeply sorry, sometimes I either forget or maybe never have the motivation to do so... I am a very forgetful person and my motivation for drawing can go up and down and I can never get the drawings I wanna do done, so no promises.. I hope you all can understand!
If I have maybe offended you in a post I'm obviously joking, but I don't think I would joke anything that would offend someone! But if I do ever joke something that pins me... Being racist or you know... Anything like that, it's probably my brother. But don't take it too harshly on him either, he's also a minor and young! And if his actions or my actions take it too far, I apologize heavily! Like I said before I am also young!
OH YEAH last thing, I am also very obsessed with the Tsugikuni and Tokito twins, it's not even a joke anymore, and I won't say sorry for being obsessed with them ok? 😭😭❤️❤️💙💙
Needless to say, I think I've said everything I've said! And in now I would like everyone to have fun, laugh and all that, Thank you! ❤️
If I have anything else to say, I'll edit this post! And if you have questions about me you can reply in this post or in my ask box thing! Thanks!
#introducing myself#introduction#muichiro tokito#tanjiro kamado#nezuko kamado#kny#demon slayer#idk if its okay to tag your introduction in a character tag but uh do let me know hehe-#i love tea btw if you havent seen my other post thing#also i still need help with this app there so much i need to fix here holy shit#if ya wanna be mutuals then dm me!#but if you're a creep stay away pls <3#anyways have a nice day
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