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whatiwillsay · 3 years

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submission: we need to talk about ttb (spade-riddles)

Hey Cam. Seeing that ask defending TTB’s doxxing has sort of pushed me to finally share some of my story on Tumblr, I guess. I haven’t had the opportunity to talk about this to anyone fully, so this will probably be long, but I hope you don’t mind me venting.

I’m one of the people that got emailed by TTB. I don’t feel comfortable posting this off anon, but I was in a Discord server with you and @bisluthq and some other people back in Dec/Jan. I don’t know if you remember me, but my name on there was one word and began with an L and ended with an S.

I want to share the full story, but I also don’t feel comfortable with sharing certain details publicly because I’m still very wary of getting outed further by her if she sees this, so I’m gonna be vague about some things

Request to her followers — If you see this, please don’t send this to her. Like I’m genuinely asking you not to because I don’t trust her not to cross any more lines. My dad is a major homophobe with serious anger issues who has literally been arrested for violence before, and she doesn’t really think carefully or maybe even care about how any actions she takes could lead to people being harmed, so I’m not eager to see how she might react.

Anyway, I first got an email back in December, and I was really freaked out by it at first. I spoke to one of my mutuals about it, and although we both agreed it was super weird and invasive and creepy, we ended up trying to see the funny side of it. So, I kinda just brushed it off and moved on. I was mainly just really confused about why I had been targeted because at the time, I thought it was only me who’d gotten an email like that. I didn’t understand why she’d specifically targeted me instead of other people who she clearly disliked a lot more.

About a week later, I saw someone on Tumblr mentioning a strange email, and I realised other people must have gotten them too. I spoke to Nat about what happened to me and ended up in the Discord

At the time, I felt like I’d gotten off really easy comparatively to others because I initially didn’t realise that she’d contacted anyone else. And so I tried to act chill about it because I didn’t want to make things about me, but honestly, I was extremely anxious. I felt on edge for over a week. I would keep checking her blog again and again because I was super worried that she would post our personal details publicly. I scrolled through my entire blog from start to finish and deleted a lot of posts that were either personal or that I just didn’t want anyone I knew in real life to read.

This part I have to be vague about because it would basically give away who I am, but it was only a while later when I thought I was in the clear that someone I knew in real life texted me and mentioned seeing a weird email about me. The email had been sent a while back, and they’d been shown it by the original recipient/s. Multiple people had been shown it, but luckily (kinda), only two of those people were actually people I saw on a regular basis

I’m mostly closeted, but I’m kind of technically out to a few of my immediate family members. But it’s very much a DADT situation because they’re not accepting, and they like to just pretend I’m straight. And so I basically have to act closeted even when I’m around them, and I can’t even ALLUDE to being gay.

But with my dad, it’s different. He’s very homophobic. I’m only gonna mention this next part so that people understand what kind of dangerous situation that TTB could have put me in. (And the other people that she doxxed too because she didn’t know how safe their individual situations were). It’s all really personal, and I wouldn’t ordinarily feel comfortable sharing any of this at all, even anonymously, but I think it needs to be said because her actions were extremely fucking irresponsible.

Right, so when I first “came out” to my dad, it was actually an accident, and he reacted… extremely badly. This was back in like… 2018 or 2019, I can’t remember the exact year

(TW // physical abuse, homophobia)

He was extremely angry, literally shaking. He yelled at me, he described in graphic detail how he was going to “break every bone in my body”, “strangle the life out of me”, “drown me”, etc. He kept telling me that I’m disgusting and going to Hell, you get the idea. He was having a lot of fun with making strangling motions and stabbing motions with his hands, and he kept slamming his hand onto the table. That went on for about 15 minutes, and then he stood up and threw a chair from the dining table at me. That was fun lol. And he punched me in the head pretty hard which kinda knocked me back. I felt dizzy, I had to sit down on the floor. At that point, my mum who had been crying and asking him to stop physically intervened, and he ended up storming out of the house instead. My mum’s a genuinely good person btw. She’s a little homophobic, but she cares about me a lot, and I’m very grateful for her. She hates him too, but she’s kinda stuck with him… It wasn’t her fault

He literally hates gay people. He complains about us on the regular. One time, he threw the remote at the TV and cracked the screen just because there was a gay male couple kissing onscreen. Another time, he threw a rock at a gay man on the street. There was also a time where he forced a few of my siblings (who didn’t want to do it) to throw peeled oranges out of the window at people celebrating pride while he drove past them and yelled insults at them. He found that really funny. Anyway, I’m sure you guys get the idea of what kind of person he is

He hasn’t laid a hand on anybody in several months though, so I do think he’s trying to be better at least. Like he’s still verbally abusive and controlling and awful, but I appreciate that he’s at least making an effort to calm down with the hitting and kicking and stuff

Anyway, with my dad, it’s less DADT and more that I think he’s got it in his head that he managed to scare me into “seeing the error of my ways” and that I’ve “stopped choosing to be gay” and that I’m now straight. So, if it had been HIM who had gotten that email, it would’ve been like… extremely bad. Like I’m getting anxious just thinking about it. And this is why I’m so angry at TTB. It was extremely, extremely irresponsible of her to not consider these kinds of possibilities before she sent out her stupid emails. She’s supposed to be an ally, but it didn’t even cross her mind that these emails would lead to people being outed and possibly even harmed?? It’s not okay at all. I’m just very grateful that she didn’t send one to him because I don’t even know what kind of situation I would be in right now.

Anyway, enough about my fucking awful dad… I feel uncomfortable that I even typed all of that out, but I wanted people to understand how dangerous her actions could have been. Like I mean, my dad’s got PTSD and extreme anger issues from his teenage years, so I do try not to judge him TOO harshly, but there’s no excuse for being a huge bigot or occasionally violent. The idea of him being the one who got that email is still so scary to me. Like my heart is racing just thinking about it

One of the people that DID read the email was the male friend I mentioned earlier though. He was shown it by someone else for a particular reason, and he was a very important person to me. Like he was a good guy, we were close, he helped me out with certain personal issues I have and is one of only two people that I know in real life that I felt comfortable confiding in about them. We’d always meet up once a week, sometimes twice, and we’d just talk about stuff and make an effort to help each other out with things. Like he was very important to me.

It turns out that he’d looked through my blog before I’d got around to scrubbing it, and he asked me if I was gay in person the next time we met up. I couldn’t lie because like… he’d have known I was lying right to his face. So, I told him I was, and you should have seen his face. It made me feel so awful about myself. He looked really stunned and shocked and kinda uncomfortable. Like it got so awkward, and I started rambling and making things worse. He was avoiding eye contact, and my voice was shaking.

I ended up making up an excuse to leave about 5 mins later and had an actual anxiety attack. Again, this is embarrassing and something I’d never usually talk about online, but I just want to get it all off my chest so that I can move past it all.

So, I was like on the verge of tears (I don’t cry easily), I couldn’t breathe properly, I was pacing around the building, and I just wanted to escape, so I headed straight for the doors. There was a queue of about 100 people lined up and waiting to leave, and I couldn’t think straight or breathe and just needed to be outside, so I tried to go out through the other exit which is for staff only. The security guard stopped me and basically publicly humiliated me in front of all of those people. He loudly shamed me and said I “didn’t have any decency” for attempted to jump the queue, lectured me in this really condescending tone, and then sent me right to the back of that huge line. Meanwhile, I was literally in the midst of a bad anxiety attack.

And then I eventually got outside and had to call my mum to come and pick me up instead of just making my own way home like I usually do. She’s amazing though tbh because she actually came to get me and didn’t even question why. I had to skip all of my plans for the rest of the day and instead just hid upstairs in my bedroom with the lights off until the next day. I refused to tell any of my family members what had happened even though they kept asking. I just felt so, so awful, and my anxiety was through the roof

To be honest, before that happened, my mindset was like: “I mean, if I get outed, it obviously wouldn’t be good, but I think I’d be able to deal with it fine”. But then, when it actually happened, and I saw the way my close friend reacted, I had like a whole emotional breakdown lol. It’s like, you think you’d be fairly chill in a situation, but when it actually happens, your reaction can be really unpredictable. I was so embarrassed by everything about that entire incident. I didn’t even want to show my face the next day.

It’s been almost two months since that happened, and in that entire time, my friend has contacted me once. We literally used to meet up once or twice a week (and during lockdown, we’d do video calls or phone calls instead), but since then, we’ve barely even spoken. Things are just so awkward now. I know this sounds stupid, but I feel like TTB’s taken one of my best friends away from me. I don’t think he’s a homophobe or anything, he has openly gay friends and is fairly accepting, but I think it’s just the way that he found out that has just made things so weird between us now. I feel like if I’d had the chance to come out to him myself in my own way, he wouldn’t have reacted like that. But I’m gonna text him next week and see if we can maybe try to fix our friendship, but I doubt it at this point

The other people who were shown the email, I mostly just avoid. I don’t really care about them knowing that much because I wasn’t close to them, but it’s just really embarrassing knowing that they probably scrolled through my Tumblr blog before I scrubbed it

And about Tumblr… This used to be the only place that I could fully be myself. It was like a “safe space” for me which feels ironic now. But I haven’t been active on my blog since December. I still lurk occasionally, but I just don’t feel comfortable here anymore. I did consider deleting my current blog and starting afresh with a new one, but I don’t think it’d make much of a difference… Like she’s kind of ruined Tumblr for me. I do still enjoy reading people’s blogs every now and then, but I don’t feel relaxed here anymore, I just feel on edge.

It’s mainly the fact that SHE’S still here. She still has a platform, she still has a bunch of followers. It’s been so hard seeing her face next to no consequences whatsoever for the horrible things that she’s done to so many different people. And it upsets me that she hasn’t even acknowledged that what she did was wrong. Plus, it makes me feel even worse that the Hard Kay blogs and some other people are still supporting her and pretending that this whole thing just didn’t happen. Like do they just not care? Or is it that she’s twisted things and made them believe that the situation was different to what it actually was?

And tbh, this whole situation has even set me back in my own sort of personal self-acceptance journey. I had such bad internalised homophobia when I was younger, and it took me so many years to get to a place where I had mostly accepted myself. But now I just feel ashamed again, and I’ve gone back to my old habit of trying to force myself to be attracted to men. Like I downloaded Tinder the other day and set my preference to men and was swiping through profiles. It’s kinda silly actually. I did snap out of it and delete the app the next day though. But I don’t know, I feel like this whole thing has just kinda fucked with me a bit. I am trying to work this stuff out and get back to normal though. I think I’ll be good again in maybe a month or so, hopefully.

And… yeah. I just really resent her, and this situation upsets me. Because the reason she did this was so petty and ridiculous, and I guess she didn’t even realise how much it would impact people? Like I do know that my situation wasn’t as bad as some of the other people’s situations, and I feel really bad for them, and I hope they’re all doing okay. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for them. But it still has impacted me a lot more than I actually thought it would. I thought I’d get over it within a couple of weeks. But it’s been like two months, and I’m still not completely over it

I know it might not sound like a huge thing, but being outed really does affect you, even if it’s only to a few people. Because to me, I feel like I’ve had my sense of like, security and comfort taken away, and it’s kinda distressing. Sorry if I sound dramatic with any of this, I just really needed to say all of this stuff to other people besides myself lol

Like her actions have literally led to me being outed to a few people. A close friendship that I had has basically been ruined. I don’t feel comfortable or secure on Tumblr anymore, even though it used to be an important outlet for me. I’ve had a resurgence of anxiety about my sexuality. Etc.

And again, my dad is extremely homophobic and literally made death threats to me and physically attacked me back when I accidentally came out to him in 2018 or 2019. And if he had gotten that email, I don’t even know what would have happened. I don’t think he would have like… SERIOUSLY physically harmed me, but there would definitely have been a repeat of the first incident. More throwing chairs at me and hitting and screaming and death threats. I don’t really want to think about it.

It just bothers me that she didn’t even consider that? Like did it not even cross her mind? And my dad is bad, but I’m sure there are people in the fandom who have even worse parents, and she could have got one of those people instead. It’s just so… I don’t know, it’s just so frustrating to me.

Anyway, I just hate her for what she did… Like maybe I shouldn’t, but I really do resent her so much, and I don’t think I could forgive her even if she apologised to us all (which I don’t think she even would because she doesn’t seem to have any decency whatsoever). The least she could do is at least express some kind of remorse, but she just genuinely doesn’t care, and that’s super messed up. All over some stupid Tumblr blog that is much less important than she thinks it is.

But anyway… I apologise for the whole rant, and if anybody read all the way down to here, I appreciate it. I do actually feel a bit better now that I’ve got this all typed out. And I’m sorry for the oversharing lol, I usually don’t do this, but I just felt like I really needed to tell people and get it off my chest so that I can try to get over it — L

submisssion⬆️⬆️⬆️

ok L i am trying to remain calm here because this isn’t about me. but i am very emotional right now. i am so so so infinitely sorry that you had to go through this harrowing and terrifying experience. ttb (now blogging under spade-riddles) is absolutely disgusting, lower than dirt, that she would put your life, safety, and well-being at risk over a fucking kaylor blog.

please please please im me or get in touch somehow because i want to offer you support. have you been financially impacted by this? we can raise money. do you need therapy? we can help you find the support you need. this community is unequivocally here for you. whatever you need, if it’s in my power to help you get it, i will. you have my solemn promise on that.

i am so deeply and desperately sorry that you have gone through this. i was shaking while reading your story.

i am in touch with other people and we are in discussion about the best way to let tumblr know what happened. this will be a safe space for you (and all of us) again if it’s the last thing i do. this community is 100% here for you in any way we can help, sending you all the support and love we have.

#submission #tw: abuse #tw: homophobia

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notthefilmreview · 4 years

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So...I’m obsessed with NEVER HAVE I EVER now and I’m not mad

Hey it’s Dana and I’m procrastinating my school work (because even the lockdown can’t stop my teachers from giving me work - how great!) so I’ve decided to watch a bit of the new Netlfix series NEVER HAVE I EVER which (after a google search) I found out is created by Mindy Kaling!

(However, by the time this post goes up I’ll probably still be procrastinating but for a whole different set of school work! Yay for me, I guess!)

I actually really have no idea what it’s about except for the fact that the title is a game I used to play with my friends to find out some gossip about their love life and vice versa which was often uninteresting because we never really had much to say. In conclusion, American High School romances have lied to me all my life about games like Truth or Dare and Never Have I Ever (it’s either that or me and the people around me have just lived fairly uninteresting lives...sounds plausible).

Anyway, read on to read about me reacting to NEVER HAVE I EVER the series for the first time!

Let’s just take a moment to appreciate how pretty Devi is; her hair is goals; orange is her colour; she has such a cute smile; she is thriving!

Also, I do love the religious diversity and the Indian representation.

Hahaha! Okay this first scene is quite funny and the arm hair thing is so relatable if you have dark hair; I envy people with lighter hair!

But, what is it with people and always wanting to be invited to parties??? They’re seriously not that fun and I often leave with a headache and an empty stomach. At first, they are quite entertaining but after a while (when you’ve told every single story about what you did in your summer holiday and stuff about your dog) you’ve run out of things to say and just awkwardly stand there until someone - and there is always someone - finally mentions school and now you’re that group of people talking about school because there’s nothing better to talk about. Or maybe that’s just my experiences with parties - I don’t know (I haven’t been to many lol).

Hey, that’s Mona from DC’s Legends of Tommorrow!!!! Omg! is this why she left the show???

Ahhh and Devi is not only a Hindu and an Indian-American but she is also a wheelchair user - Mindy is out there just trying to give everyone all the representation we need!

Oh - so she managed to walk again after trying to see a hot boy’s chiseled jawline behind a car? Hmmmm...seems plausible.

I’m also getting a really 80s vibe that seem quite common in Netflix movies and tv shows (like Sierra Burgess Is A Loser) but I know it’s meant to be in the 21st century.

Lol I’ve never heard that before but it made me choke on my food. Imagine people bullying you and calling you the UN - the political slander, the international slander. Omg I love this show so much.

I don’t really thinkl Devi should care if Ben thinks she’s unbangable because she is only 15 so she doesn’t exactly need to have banging as her number one priority.

Yassssssss strut queen!

The heels things is extremely relatable; I’m already a clutz while walking in flats but when I put on heels I’m falling all over everywhere (you should’ve seen me dance at my Year 11 Prom lol). Devi is wearing really high heels - I seriously could never so good for her!

So Paxton just says yes to having sex with her? What? Is this how it works? Is it that easy?

I’m so confused.

So I’m thinking that maybe there’s something more to Paxton than meets the eye. Maybe he’s a shamed virgin (which isn’t really as much of a problem as Hollywood tries to convince us) or maybe he might do a 360 and publicly shame Devi.

What I know, is that Paxton might end up having feelings for Devi after this (because this is how romance works, guys). Also, Devi might back out of having sex with Paxton.

So we’re onto episode 2 which is titled “...had sex with Paxton Hall-Yoshida”, making the title make more sense to me now.

Devi is casually just reading After which coincidently is also on Netflix (marketing strategies?).

*Love is in the air* (I was waiting for LGBTQ+ representations and I know this may cause some conflict with Devi’s plan for them all to get boyfriends butttttt in the long run, once Fab comes out to the gals they’re all going to accept her - at least I hope).

That blonde girl is too cute with her pixie hair cut omg I already love her so much and I haven’t even heard her talk.

This is the only love at first sight that I accept (this and The Half Of It, of course).

(Also the blonde’s eyebrows are beautiful; I want them so much).

This is the guy from Supergirl who played Lena’s old scientist boyfriend (and ruined all our lesbian Lena backstory but I did like him as a guy).

I like how Devi’s PTSD over her dad’s death is really being explored slowly.

Also, I knew that Devi would back out of having sex with Paxton and why does she always get cuts on her on her legs? is this symbolism? to do with her leg? and her mental state? am I reading too far into this?

Let Kamala be the beautiful biologists she deserves to be without an arranged marriage with a man whose family just wants her to be a wife.

We also shouldn’t forget how Devi’s mother’s feeling after her husband’s death. She may seem so strong on the outside but we all know she’s breaking on the inside and I hope that her and Devi can have a heart-to-heart about that.

Personally I think the blue ones...

Awww I think Paxton’s sister (Rebecca) and Devi are going to become good friends and I’m excited to watch it happen ahhhhh!

I’m thinking that Ben and Devi are going to become friends which would be quite sweet considering their rivalry.

Ohhhhhh Kamala has an asian boyfriend??? I’m officially attached; we need to end this arrnaged marriage; she needs to be with her boyfriend.

Awwwwww this is beautiful. I love Devi’s mum so much, she deserves love and attention.

Okay so we’ve now met a more human side to Paxton with him explaining that he’s been quite protective of his sister ever since she was adopted. And they’re not going to have sex (even though Devi told her friends that they did have sex) which is really going to cause major conflict.

Anyway, I should probably actually do some work now so bye!

MAJOR EDIT: So it turns out that I did work for about half an hour then decided to watch the rest of the season without reviewing as I go (because I was even lazy to do that lol). I did not think that I would actually finish the whole season in one go; I thought that I would just watch the first couple of episodes until it felt too awkward to watch the rest. Nevertheless, I watched the rest of the the season and I already want a new season to come out so badly!

Firstly, let’s deal with Paxton.

So I thought that Paxton would make a massive U-turn and start being less of a douche (as his sister Rebecca - who is just so deadpan with him that I just love her more and more - puts it) and more of a sweetheart who has some type of depth to him. Yes, he does seem to have depth in the way that he’s not just some hot guy on the swim team who’s always mean to everyone because he is usually nice and doesn’t forwardly go out of his way to bully anyone (and I also give points for the fact that he is half asian and not a nerd because we need our dumb asians to replace London Tipton in our hearts).

The problem is that I’m just confused about him. Why does he always come to Devi’s aid whenever she’s in trouble? What is his purpose? Why does he turn up at her doorstep when she doesn’t answer his text messages?

I’m particularly confused (and also extremely worried) about that last question because it’s just weird and uneccessary to turn up to someone’s house when they don’t answer your messages. Maybe I would have let him off if he did it once but this guy does it soooooo many times that it’s started to become a bit creepy. Like chill. Seriously. Not everyone is constantly on their phone to text you back instantly and sometimes I’ve even not answered for a couple of days but you don’t exactly see anyone knocking at my door like “hey, Dana, answer my texts - I wanted to know what fucking ice cream you like”.

Basically, it’s just creepy and I feel as though they’re trying to use that to use that as him essentially developing feelings for her but now he needs to lay off because Devi’s got her eyes on Ben now.

Okay so Ben is what I’m excited for now. The next season will most likely focus on their love triangle and maybe devlop Paxton more to possibly make us really confused on who Devi should choose. Personally, I think she should choose Ben at the end of the day.

Ben started off as Devi’s nemesis and I never really paaid much attention to him at the start because I thought he would just be there for a bit of comedy and to push Devi out of her comfort zone. It turns out that he has pushed Devi out of her comfort zone, in a different way of course (but when they kissed and the camera started panning down I thought they they were actually going to start having sex and I was like omg, whoa, I shouldn’t be watching this but also it would kinda be fulfilling to see Devi choose to have sex with this guy who actually wants her and actually likes her in that moment, fully forgetting about Paxton - it was actually just panning down to another call from Paxton).

I did see a glimmer of something between them but I thought it was just going to be a friendship to add to her group but I’m not mad at how it actually ended.

I feel as though we as the audience will route for Ben more because of that episode that completely centered him, which showed us just exactly how hard Ben’s life is. It was this episode and the Model UN episode that made me think that they might make this a thing (and there was also the fact that he tried to kiss her twice at his house).

It’s also an added bonus that Devi’s mum thinks so highly of Ben because it means she probably won’t have to hide him from her. While, yes, dating a guy who your mother doesn’t like (such as Paxton) is a symbol of rebellion and thriving outside of your family’s hold sometimes it’s not the right option if they turn you into someone completely different. Ben and Devi have this relationship in which she can be her complete self around him and not have to hold anything back or do anything in order to please him. They challenge each other, trust each other (especially with Ben driving her all the way to Malibu and STAYING), and understand each other to a level that Paxton just can’t seem to relate to.

Kamala’s breakup with Steve seemed really out of the blue with her really trying to stay away from an arranged marriage, to plain falling for the guy on the other end of the arranged marriage. Although she did say that she doesn’t want to marry yet I’m still really confused on why she dumped Steve but told Prashant that she likes him. I feel as though it would’ve made a bigger impact if she told both guys she didn’t want them and wants to focus on her aspiring career as a biologist.

I say that but I do see the sparks between Prashant and Kamala with them having a lot of things in common.

I want to end this fairly long review of the entire season 1 of NEVER HAVE I EVER talking about this girl right here, an absolute legend, a queen, the girl who wear a white suit to a sleazy high school party: Fabiola.

This girl is such an icon and her gay panic after summoning (yes, summoning) her whole family to tell them she’s gay (only to end up telling them she switched from AP French to AP Latin) made me both laugh so hard and feel so much pain for her.

When she finally told her mum that she was gay, I panicked. I had to mentally prepare myself to watch this woman shout, cry, question - even disapprove - of her daughter. Instead, what we got was a mother who accepted her daughter and told her that she’s only ever wanted to make her happy. It just made me realise that all that time her mother spent trying to get into her daughter’s love life (after thinking she had a boyfriend) was her version of trying to bond with her daughter and understand her and basically just be a mother.

Well, you know what, she is doing a great job as a mother and I’m so happy for Fab because I know when her mother finds out about Eve (if she hasn’t already) she is going to try and get all the gossip from her daughter and try so hard to take her shopping for clothes that’ll make her look good for dates with Eve (and I am thriving for this).

Her mother’s approach almost reminds me of the mother from Ackley Bridge (if anyone knows that show) who tried to get to know what being a lesbian really is like for a girl by going to one of the most gay areas in the UK. That was just an iconic moment and if you haven’t seen Ackley Bridge go watch that because it’s really good (at first though, after a while it gets a bit trash and you’ll understand).

I hope that season 2 comes quick (but it may not be for a while) and fingers crossed Ben and Devi are endgame, Kamala sorts out what she wants in life, Eleanor finally has a stern talk with her mum, and Fab and Eve finally become official (unless they are already) and we see a story more focused on them.

#never have i ever #netflix #movie commentary #series commentary

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byeagra · 5 years

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how to write australia!

australia is kind of a weird place. i think because a lot of people haven’t been to or seen the “real” australia, that they tend to not read about it. which should totally change, since australia is literally a goldmine of really “aesthetic” places and ambiences

* i talk about queensland a lot in this, because you guessed it, i’m a queenslander.

where things are

lots of desert out west. people are always like “omg desert!” but it’s more in the center of the land. places like western queensland, the northern territory, northern south australia and western australia will have the stereotypical red dirt that you’re looking for.

out in the desert there’s a lot of nothing. towns with 100 people, stuff like that. there’ll most likely be a pub, maybe a couple of houses. that’s it really. out in western queensland, there’s some “tourist” towns, like longreach (qantas museum) and winton (dinosaur shit), but if you’re going there, expect a lot of dirt and dead trees

a lot of people live on the coast. especially the east coast. it’s expected that 85% of the population live within 50km of the coast, so beach holidays are pretty common.

a not lot of people live in the cities for being cities, but our cities tend to be pretty big in space. like in queensland’s capital, brisbane, there’s a population of 2 million, but that’s 15,826 km² aka a huge space for legit a tiny population

towns are really spaced out. lots of suburbs in towns.

towns are really spaced out from each other. like there’s rest stops that are called ‘towns’ but they’re definitely rest stops. there might be a service station (gas station) but that’s it. between my town and the next town in the 10,000′s, there’s a 3/4 hour drive.

towns like mine

my town is a “small town” even though it’s not that small. we ain’t brisbane.

no diners. whatsoever. we haave restaurants, takeaway (both chain and local) and hipster local coffee places. take your pick.

lot’s of coal miners. just throughout australia even. a lot of them do ‘fifo’ work (fly in, fly out), where they live in a city, but fly out to the mines on weekdays. it’s not weird for one of your parent’s to be away during the week.

my town is indeed a mining town. shit was great during ‘the mining boom’ but now it’s the mining bust and there’s big expensive houses with no one to buy them.

we’re kind of near the great barrier reef, but not close enough to profit from it lol. it’s not a tourist town.

it’s not an “oh i can walk to my friend’s house” town. i can walk to one of my friend’s houses. other times we just drive.

“the bush”

the bush is hot. it’s hot as fuck and it’s not fun 90% of the time.

the other 10% is fucking around in the bush. which is fun.

chances are that a person in your family or a family friend has owned property out in woop-woop and you’ve gone and fucked around in the bush.

lots of little creeks everywhere. if you find a creek, good on you, gold star, don’t drink from it.

my cousins and i once went crabbing, bogged our buggy, walked like 5km home, went to look for firewood in said buggy and rolled it all in the same afternoon. easter saturday.

there are miles and miles of actually nothing. literally nothing at all. if you get lost. there’s a high chance you won’t be found again.

there’s a lot of cane farming in queensland. lots of cane farms and sugar mills. i remember driving to cairns once, and seeing the steam from a sugar mill off in the distance. it was the dead of night and there was so much steam i legit thought there was a fire.

there’s ruins in the bush. lots of old cars and sheds of random shit that have rusted away.

trees aren’t lush and green. it’s not a forest. they’re barky, shredded trees. more grey than green.

climate

it’s really hot for like 8 months of the year. the other four are pretty chill.

when we say it’s hot. it’s hot like you can’t imagine. it’s not just hot, it’s humid. the air is so sticky and thick and your clothes will stick to you. there’s been days with 99% humidity. come on. that is RAIN.

we get good breeze here because we’re on the coast. out west it’s hellfire. but they’re used to it i guess lol.

no snow sorry eek. except in ski resorts like hotham, thredbo, falls creek, places like that.

school

we wear uniforms. like school uniforms. they’re not cute. they’re super dorky and everyone and their dog gets their grandma to take their skirts up.

“no hat, no play” headass.

we don’t have cafeterias. bring your own fucking lunch. we do have tuckshop though. you can buy lunch or snacks from there for money. some of my childhood faves:

choccy milk

chicken gougons (chicken chippies but they sounded fancy)

chicken noodles

we got a slushie machine in grade 4. it was legendary.

4 pieces of red licorice for 20c???? bargain.

we have grades! normally it goes kindergarden (kindy), prep and then grades 1-12

we get an ATAR instead of a gpa or whatever the fuck. it’s a score from 0.05 (ur fucked lol) and 99.95 (ur a doctor).

on facebook you’ll find heaps of “hsc discussion group 2020/2019″ groups. yeah some people post notes, some people offer tutoring and most people post memes

sport

now, i’ll admit, i’m not into sport. but we are nothing if not a sporting nation.

i did swimming, played hockey, and dance

saturday mornings are for kids sport. it’s a thing. every kid plays a sport. we are sporty by nature.

we also get really into sport. rugby league, union, touch and afl are the big ones. rugby league is the big one.

there’s also a thing called ‘the state of origin’ between the queensland (the maroons) and new south wales (the blues). the blues suck don’t @ me. the maroons had an 8 year winning streak from 2006-2013. my mum can’t watch it because it stresses her out too much.

there was an ICONIC moment done by johnathan thurston (aka the cowboys and the league’s best player of all time). i remember screaming at the television and i HATE that. there’s so much that happens in these 11 minutes. it’s fucking wild. (https://youtu.be/SU5zcrDvMDU)

politics

liberal is “not good” in australia. the labour party is basically the equivalent of the democratic party (i think??)

we have a prime minister, but it changes a lot idk who it is now lol

compolsory to vote. you get a fine if you don’t.

other things you should know

we use the metric system because we’re not fuckheads.

no guns. gun control ay. if you have a gun, you’re probably a farmer.

not many starbucks here. sorry lol it’s shit coffee anyways

#writing #writing help #australia #australian #writer #writer's #australian gothic

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alecodys · 5 years

Text

Camp TV Biographies

This is a very, very, very long post!! There’s literally every Season One character in here and Tumblr tried to get me to cut it in half multiple times but like. lol no. Anyways, everything is under the cut!

Beth What’s your best quality? My detective skills! I have solved many small cases back on my farm at home, the largest of which being who was responsible for the grain going missing. Turns out it was just a rat.

Faves? (music, colour, movie, food)

My parents only have music from the 60’s, so that’s the only music I know.

I love pink! Especially more reddish ones.

What’s that one with a talking pig called? It reminds me so much of my own pig, Bertha!

My mum makes the best food ever, especially when it comes to pies.

Describe your craziest dream. I was a real detective, just like Sherlock Holmes! It was so cool, and I got to solve a murder, and I had a sidekick and everything!

Best memory from childhood? The day I got Bertha. She’s like a little sister to me.

Most embarrassing moment at school? One time I’d forgotten which shirt I had gotten dirty and I was in a rush, so I went to school in a muddy shirt with pig hoof-prints on it.

Describe the first job you ever had. I work on the farm as much as I can, in between school and detective work!

Ten years from now, what are you doing? I’ll have moved to England, and become the best detective in all of Scotland Yard!

My dream date would be with __________, doing what? Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, but it would be less of a date, and more like me interviewing him and asking him what goes on in the mind of a detective as great as Sherlock.

It’s the last day on earth. In five words or less, what would you do? Find out what caused it!

Bridgette What’s your best quality? My patience for others!

Faves? (music, colour, movie, food)

I’m not all that into music, but I do listen to recordings of the ocean like, all the time.

Definitely ocean blue.

I’m super into mermaid movies.

Anything that’s vegan, but especially seaweed brownies.

Describe your craziest dream. It’s not really crazy per say, but I was a dolphin and I got to hang out with this clownfish, and we were totally the best of friends. It was really cool, actually.

Best memory from childhood? My first time going boogie-boarding. It what made me fall in love with the water, you know?

Most embarrassing moment at school? We went out to the beach for camp one year and we got to go surfing, and I totally wiped out on one of the waves in front of everyone! It was terrible.

Describe the first job you ever had. I’m a lifeguard at the community pool after school! It’s not exactly glamorous, but hey, it’s pretty fun sometimes.

Ten years from now, what are you doing? Living back in Fiji with a nice girl, in a house by the beach and helping out Mother Earth.

My dream date would be with __________, doing what? I can’t really think of someone off the top of my head, but we’d totally go surfing.

It’s the last day on earth. In five words or less, what would you do? Make the most of it.

Cody What’s your best quality? Hm... my creativity, I guess? It helps for getting out of tough situations sometimes.

Faves? (music, colour, movie, food)

There’s this musician, uh.. Neil Cicierega! I like his songs, but the Samsung ringtone is pretty good too.

I like pale oranges and blues!

I don’t really watch movies all that often, but uh.. don’t tell anyone I told you this, but I really like kid films, especially LEGO ones. Weird, I know.

I’m a sucker for anything with sugar! Although, it tends to make me super sick.

Describe your craziest dream. I was actually popular. I was so freaked out I woke up before anything could happen.

Best memory from childhood? Whenever I got to go to my aunt’s house! She has, like, the greatest German Shepard ever!

Most embarrassing moment at school? Literally the entirety of grade eight. God, I used to insist on being called stuff like “Codester” and “Codemeister”. Ugh.

Describe the first job you ever had. I got to dog-sit my aunt’s dog when I was 12 and she paid me ten bucks.

Ten years from now, what are you doing? Hopefully going out with the person of my dreams, but if not then probably just chilling at home, eating ice cream, wondering where I went wrong.

My dream date would be with __________, doing what? Okay so like, there’s this really cute guy at my school, so probably him, and we’d just go to the carnival, eat cotton candy and go on rides, and after it’s all over we’d watch the sunset and it’d be super cute. I’ve put more thought into this than I should have.

It’s the last day on earth. In five words or less, what would you do? Cry over it.

DJ What’s your best quality? How kind I am, and it’s all thanks to my mommas!

Faves? (music, colour, movie, food)

Jamaican Reggae.

Lavender.

Anything with tons of animals!

My Mama’s chickpea Roti, although that may be tied with Ma’s cherry tarts... don’t tell her though.

Describe your craziest dream. I dreamt one time I was a cameraman for this reality TV show that took place in an abandoned film studio, and that I wasn’t paid a cent.

Best memory from childhood? Definitely the day my mommas adopted me. The orphanage was alright, but my mommas just give something that it could never, aside from stability.

Most embarrassing moment at school? The first day of school here in Canada, I only had shirts and shorts. I was freezing all day! I haven’t gone outside without a jacket or two on since.

Describe the first job you ever had. It’s not really a job, but Ma pays me a couple of dollars during summer to pick all the cherries from the cherry trees. They ripen late since it’s so cold here, but they’re absolutely beautiful.

Ten years from now, what are you doing? I’m in my house with my mommas, with a bunch of animals I adopted from the local animal shelter, eating chickpea Roti and cherry tarts.

My dream date would be with __________, doing what? I don’t really date. I just don’t see anyone that way, y’know? But I’d love to go around Central Park with my mommas in a horse and carriage!

It’s the last day on earth. In five words or less, what would you do? Hang out with my mommas.

Duncan What’s your best quality? My ability to break out of juvie.

Faves? (music, colour, movie, food)

Punk rock.

Neon green.

Any slasher film, really.

Το σουβλάκι του παππού, not that hard of a question.

Describe your craziest dream. I was a four year old trying to scare the shit out of this girl with pigtails, but I got tethered to some kid with a gap in his teeth. We ended up scaring everyone as a mummy. It was kinda funny.

Best memory from childhood? When I snuck my younger cousin into an R rated film with my older sister. My sister was thirteen, I was ten, and my cousin was four. I’m surprised we managed to pull off that dumb trench coat trick.

Most embarrassing moment at school? I used to get embarrassed when my sister would pick me up in her smart car. I kind of miss it now, though.

Describe the first job you ever had. Job? Ha! Yeah, right.

Ten years from now, what are you doing? I’ll probably be hanging around the town my cousin lives in, maybe score a couple of gigs in some punk band I’ve started to rival that garage band that plays over there.

My dream date would be with __________, doing what? Depends if anyone could take me. Or look past my criminal record.

It’s the last day on earth. In five words or less, what would you do? ...Visit my sister.

Ezekiel What’s your best quality? My ability to list my best quality in eight different languages, eh!

Faves? (music, colour, movie, food)

Choir music! It’s the only music I know!

Forest green.

I’m not allowed to watch movies...

My mum and I work together to make the greatest biscuits ever, eh!

Describe your craziest dream. I was like a king of these mutated woodland creatures, eh. But I was all green and was wearing these really strange clothes, and I had no hair.

Best memory from childhood? My childhood wasn’t really all that eventful. I just stay inside all the time, eh.

Most embarrassing moment at school? When my teachers caught me trying to leave the house to go to a local school. They weren’t very happy with me, eh. I got grounded for five weeks.

Describe the first job you ever had. I don’t have a real job, since I’m always at home and my parents won’t let me outside.

Ten years from now, what are you doing? I’m at the farm, sitting on the porch and looking out over the fields. Pretty much what I do whenever school ends anyways.

My dream date would be with __________, doing what? A girl like me, eh. We can talk about living on our farms and not being able to interact with other kids until we graduated school, and bond over archery.

It’s the last day on earth. In five words or less, what would you do? Say goodbye to the cows.

Geoff What’s your best quality? I can party all night and all day, man! Also my hair is really soft apparently.

Faves? (music, colour, movie, food)

Party in the USA is my favourite song, dude! It’s, like, my anthem!

Bright pink! I may get weird looks for it sometimes, but I think it’s an awesome colour!

Literally any movie where parties are involved, dude.

Party pies! It’s the name, my man!

Describe your craziest dream. One time I dreamt that I threw the biggest party in Canadian history, and it was so big that like, even the news reported on it dude! But then the cops came and we had to shut it down. It was a massive bummer.

Best memory from childhood? My first birthday party ever! I was three and I invited all my friends from kinder, and we got to hit this disco ball shaped piñata and eat this giant cake! I’m still proud of it.

Most embarrassing moment at school? When I went to school with a blue shirt on instead of a pink one. I have a brand to uphold, man.

Describe the first job you ever had. Some kid at school tried to pay me five bucks to prank his bully and record it. I told him to keep the money and I did it anyways, because bullying isn’t cool, dude.

Ten years from now, what are you doing? Hosting a wicked party!

My dream date would be with __________, doing what? I don’t really know who I’d go on a date with, but we’d totally be having an awesome party out on the beach!

It’s the last day on earth. In five words or less, what would you do? Party hard!

Gwen What’s your best quality? My complete and utter lack of enthusiasm.

Faves? (music, colour, movie, food)

I like early 2000’s emo music, I guess.

Dark red.

Bloodbath 2: Summer Camp Reign of Terror. If this camp isn’t like the movie then I’m not going to be very happy.

Those teeth gummies, the minty ones.

Describe your craziest dream. I dreamt I was having a good time being interviewed for some dumb summer camp my parents forced me to go to. Can you imagine?

Best memory from childhood? When my little brother learned to ride his bike. It makes it easier to get away from him now.

Most embarrassing moment at school? I spilled blue food colouring over my clothes in science class one time and had to walk around with that stain in my shirt for the rest of the day. It doesn’t sound bad, but it kinda looked like I’d drooled all over myself.

Describe the first job you ever had. I cut my brother’s hair for five bucks from my mum one time. Of course, she didn’t give me any clear instructions, and I was six, so I absolutely destroyed his hair.

Ten years from now, what are you doing? I’ll probably have some dumb degree, I don’t know. Probably just have a job and hanging out with somebody who I live with and love.

My dream date would be with __________, doing what? It’s not a date really, but I’d love to time travel and meet Van Gogh. Unlike most artists, he was actually a really cool dude, and really tragic too. I’d like to meet Branwell Brontë too, but his whole family is cool.

It’s the last day on earth. In five words or less, what would you do? Watch the last sunset.

Harold What’s your best quality? My high tolerance for those who are intellectually and behaviourally inferior to me. But my mum tells me not to say that so I guess it’s how good I am at building fantasy worlds.

Faves? (music, colour, movie, food)

Nothing beats the Pokemon Red soundtrack.

Mossy green.

The Lord of the Rings trilogy, duh!

Beef stew, but especially the stew they serve at Medieval Steve’s Medieval Camp.

Describe your craziest dream. They named the Lord of the Rings something really dumb like Master of the Spheres.

Best memory from childhood? My first time going to a summer camp was pretty good. It was MSMC, but for “junior” kids, which basically meant people under the age of six.

Most embarrassing moment at school? Getting a fact about medieval history wrong in history class.

Describe the first job you ever had. I got paid by one of the kids at MSMC to beat the head troll in chocolate coins.

Ten years from now, what are you doing? A famous, bestselling author of a hit fantasy series that has been adapted masterfully into film.

My dream date would be with __________, doing what? One of the elves, I guess, but mainly so they could teach me about their culture and their language so I could one day join and become one of them.

It’s the last day on earth. In five words or less, what would you do? Try and stop it.

Heather What’s your best quality? I don’t really have that many good qualities, but people say they like how nice I am, so that counts for something, right?

Faves? (music, colour, movie, food)

Lo-fi

Any shade of red!

I liked that one Pokemon movie with the... ah, yes! Shaymin!

I love mochi! It’s so yummy...

Describe your craziest dream. I dreamt I was, like, super tall! It was really cool beans, until everyone began calling me mean things and they were talking about something I did to this girl named Gwen? I don’t even know any girls named Gwen!

Best memory from childhood? The first Christmas I remember! My parents got me this super cute tricycle and it was red with little blue streamers on the handlebars, and I rode it around everywhere! Or maybe when we rescued Cupcake... gosh, now I can’t decide!

Most embarrassing moment at school? When my friend yelled at me for not getting her an iced chai latte in front of the whole class... it was horrible!

Describe the first job you ever had. I run errands for my friends all the time! Sometimes the things they want me to do get pretty gross though...

Ten years from now, what are you doing? Opening a cafe that serves the best mochi in all of Canada!

My dream date would be with __________, doing what? With a nice guy that likes me for who I am, going to cafes and petting cats and dogs and just doing what I wanna do for a day... I think that’d be totally awesome sauce.

It’s the last day on earth. In five words or less, what would you do? Buy a Shaymin plushie! Then hug it for the rest of the day. Shoot, that was over the word limit...

Katie What’s your best quality? Sadie always says she loves my, like, optimism!

Faves? (music, colour, movie, food)

I love listening to pop and, like, 70’s rock!

Pastel pink.

Sadie and I love, like, watching Mean Girls together!

Dark cherries! They also make for some, like, really tasty earrings.

Describe your craziest dream. I was without Sadie for, like, an entire day!

Best memory from childhood? The day I met Sadie, when she moved to the house, like, next door to mine. She was, like, kinda hard to understand at first, but over time her Scottish-ness mellowed out a bit.

Most embarrassing moment at school? When I tried to stand up for Sadie when a bully was, like, pushing her around, and accidentally hit my funny bone on the locker door.

Describe the first job you ever had. Sadie and I work at this super cute ice cream shop together!

Ten years from now, what are you doing? I’ll own the ice cream store and have added, like, a bazillion more flavours! It’s quiet during winter, but there’s tons of people during summer, and that’s really all I need.

My dream date would be with __________, doing what? I’d so, like, love to go on a date with Sadie. We could go to a sewing workshop and I’d stitch her the best stuffie, like, ever!

It’s the last day on earth. In five words or less, what would you do? Kiss Sadie...

LeShawna What’s your best quality? All of them, duh.

Faves? (music, colour, movie, food)

Anything I can dance along to, sugar.

Yellow.

High School Musical 2.

Mango chutney is always good.

Describe your craziest dream. It was more of a nightmare, really. I was stuck in a room full of spiders and those eight-legged freaks covered me head to toe, but I couldn’t scream.

Best memory from childhood? When I won my first ever beauty pageant. Mind you, it was kindergarten, and I was the only participant, but that doesn’t matter.

Most embarrassing moment at school? Honey, I don’t get embarrassed. I haven’t got anything to be embarrassed about.

Describe the first job you ever had. I work at this dumb coffee shop. The only reason I’m still there is because I get free pastries.

Ten years from now, what are you doing? I’m the CEO of a multinational corporation, and, obviously, the most famous billionairess in the world!

My dream date would be with __________, doing what? Look, sugar, do you seriously think anyone is up to my standards?

It’s the last day on earth. In five words or less, what would you do? Dance the day away.

Lindsay What’s your best quality? My looks, of course.

Faves? (music, colour, movie, food)

Pop songs, definitely.

Pinkest Pink. It’s the pinkest shade of pink that exists.

Legally Blonde.

Anything that helps me keep my figure.

Describe your craziest dream. I was some other girl’s lackey. It was disgusting.

Best memory from childhood? The first time I tried out sparkly lip gloss. I still have the empty container somewhere so I can, like, look back on it and remind myself how far I’ve come.

Most embarrassing moment at school? Ugh, definitely when I forgot to apply my eyeshadow. My ‘friends’ may have pretended not to notice, but I could tell they had.

Describe the first job you ever had. I’m a cashier at Lush on the weekends. They give me discount on face masks as long as I, like, sell enough. So, obviously, I get, like, three free face masks a week.

Ten years from now, what are you doing? Applying my makeup.

My dream date would be with __________, doing what? Some hunky model, walking around town so everyone can envy us.

It’s the last day on earth. In five words or less, what would you do? Spread rumours.

Noah What’s your best quality? My cynicism.

Faves? (music, colour, movie, food)

The kind I can’t hear.

Meh.

No thanks.

Just ate.

Describe your craziest dream. I don’t care about my dreams enough to remember them.

Best memory from childhood? My first time playing a video game. I was three and I completed the first level within a minute.

Most embarrassing moment at school? People with brains and wit like mine don’t get embarrassed.

Describe the first job you ever had. I was a tutor for some high school jock when I was five.

Ten years from now, what are you doing? I’ll be at home, sitting on my couch, relaxing and reading a book.

My dream date would be with __________, doing what? I wouldn’t want to go on a date with him, since I have no idea what he looks like, but there’s a guy in my Underground Alliance that is really good at organising raids, so I guess him.

It’s the last day on earth. In five words or less, what would you do? Sleep.

Owen What’s your best quality? My appetite, haha!

Faves? (music, colour, movie, food)

Nickleback all the way! Woohoo!

Maple syrup brown!

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs! I don’t care what anyone says, it just looks so deliciously good!

Anything that my stomach can take is good in my book! Which is just about everything, haha!

Describe your craziest dream. Hm... probably the one where doughnuts were raining from the sky! I wish something like that could happen in real life...

Best memory from childhood? When my Ma and Pa got me my first cookbook! There were so many delicious recipes in there, like that Cookie Monster ice cream cake, and the chocolate fudge cookies!

Most embarrassing moment at school? When I forgot to add one of the ingredients to my nachos in food tech, it just didn’t have the same cheesy, gooey goodness!

Describe the first job you ever had. I work at my parents bakery sometimes! I make apple strudels for them, and they always get way more customers when I do! It makes me feel super happy!

Ten years from now, what are you doing? Working at the bakery with my parents, making as many apple strudels as the people want, haha!

My dream date would be with __________, doing what? All of my pals from school, throwing a party in a cottage where we can make as many s’mores and finger sandwiches we want!

It’s the last day on earth. In five words or less, what would you do? Write down all my recipes!

Sadie What’s your best quality? Katie says she, like, loves how my eyes sparkle when I smile!

Faves? (music, colour, movie, food)

Late 2000’s pop music, the kind you can, like, jump around and party to!

Red, like the colour of my shirt.

Katie and I, like, love to watch Mean Girls together!

Honeycrisp apples! But, like, only honeycrisp.

Describe your craziest dream. Katie wasn’t my best friend, and it was, like, so weird!

Best memory from childhood? The day I met Katie! She acted kinda, like, weird at first, but we’re, like, the best of friends!

Most embarrassing moment at school? I tried to stand up for Katie because, like, this bully was teasing her, and, like, bullying isn’t cool! But I tripped on my heels and, like, knocked the bully over like a bowling pin. So, like, it wasn’t that bad.

Describe the first job you ever had. Katie and I work at the, like, cutest ice cream shop ever!

Ten years from now, what are you doing? I’ll own a cafe that’s, like, right next door to Katie’s ice cream shop, and there will be this door connecting the buildings so people can, like, buy lunch and then go right next door to Katie’s!

My dream date would be with __________, doing what? Oh, I’d love to go on a date with Katie! She’s just so nice, and pretty, and says, like, the sweetest things! We could go to the beach and I’d collect all the, like, prettiest seashells for her!

It’s the last day on earth. In five words or less, what would you do? Kiss Katie...

Trent What’s your best quality? Either my straight A’s or my ukulele playing skills, depends on who you ask.

Faves? (music, colour, movie, food)

I like those covers on YouTube where it’s just people singing and playing the ukulele, no matter what song it is. It helps calm me down.

Green, but I’m pretty sure that’s kind of obvious.

Love, Simon. I read the book, too, and both of them are fantastic!

I know it’s not really a food, but I love orange juice.

Describe your craziest dream. I followed my dad’s advice and became an accountant. I mean, can you imagine? Me? An accountant?

Best memory from childhood? When I won my first ever award at the school talent show. Looking back on it, I can’t see why they voted for me, since one of my ukulele’s strings broke mid-performance, but I’m still proud.

Most embarrassing moment at school? I don’t know, maybe when one kid almost set fire to the end of my hair in chemistry? But that wasn’t really embarrassing for me, really.

Describe the first job you ever had. It’s nothing that cool, I’m just a cashier at some supermarket.

Ten years from now, what are you doing? Hopefully, I’ll be known world-wide for my music and be on tour, playing ukulele and making fans happy.

My dream date would be with __________, doing what? Probably just hanging out with a couple of mates at the beach, swimming, building sandcastles, you know. The works.

It’s the last day on earth. In five words or less, what would you do? Write a song.

Tyler What’s your best quality? My sporting ability!

Faves? (music, colour, movie, food)

I like those tunes they play at the beginning of the sports part of the news, with the swishy 3D logo and everything!

Blue and green!

Bend It Like Beckham!

My high-protein high-carb energy bars!

Describe your craziest dream. I dreamt all the colours in the world were, like, inverted! To be fair, I had had around ten of my energy bars that day, so...

Best memory from childhood? When I headbutted the soccer ball into the net in my first ever soccer game! So what if it was just me and my dad playing, it’s the thought that counts!

Most embarrassing moment at school? When my mum was my substitute gym teacher and she kept assigning me places on the court where I couldn’t do anything. It was like she was trying to make me look bad or something!

Describe the first job you ever had. My parents won’t let me get a job. Something about me being too ‘clumsy’ or whatever.

Ten years from now, what are you doing? Playing in the big leagues! In every sport!

My dream date would be with __________, doing what? Jess from Bend It Like Beckham! We could play soccer together, and it’d be totally cool!

It’s the last day on earth. In five words or less, what would you do? Everything to the extreme!

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garregmachmatchups · 4 years

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hi mod ava!! would i please be able to request a regular matchup?? i’m bi, so i don’t mind any gender. i hope this isn’t too much info, but i hope the layout makes it readable?? thank you so much!!

personality

the good:

curious

i love to learn? is that a good thing? (as long as I’m not being graded on it,,, otherwise that’s a disaster)

open-minded

thoughtful

good conversationalist/listener (or, at least I’d like to think so,,, i can talk for hours and hours)

trustworthy (ish)

compassionate (or at least, i try to be!!)

patient

accepting (within reason aadjsdfkjhfds essentially i just try to not judge people)

understanding (i do my very best!!)

the bad:

prone to catastrophizing (that’s the anxiety poking through)

indecisive (I cannot make a decision to save my life)

shy (it’s not that I’m quiet or withdrawn, I’m just Deeply Afraid Of Rejection)

unforgiving (while I can be pretty patient, once I’m done with someone, I’m Done)

prone to melancholy (I do my best to fight it, but that melancholy be Strong)

overthinker (i literally write a whole dissertation in my head about a topic literally No One cares about… or i’ll decide to pick apart my relationships with others when it’s really not that deep. this one’s a mixed bag.)

irresponsible (ish. i can take care of myself and my roommate, but i get a bit scared of Responsibility with a capital R. idk if i’m making much sense but,,, i can take responsibility, i’m just scared i’ll mess up so i try not to?? ir’s something i really need to work on)

the neutral:

opinionated (I’m putting it as a neutral trait bc I’ve been told that I’m “interesting to talk to” because of it, but my god… sometimes I wish I’d just calm down,,, and there are just some things it’s not worth being opinionated on, you know?)

Sensitive (with a capital s)

imaginative (fun for creative things, bad when your catastrophizing)

talkative (for similar reasons as opinionated… I love to talk and I have So Much to say, but sometimes I wish I’d just learn to… shut my damn mouth)

my sense of humour (i’d describe myself as a “chaos goblin”, and one of my friends once said I’m a “mixed bag of human”, meaning that he can never predict what I’m going to say to him next; essentially i have a very “flexible” sense of humour, but the more absurd, the better)

perceptive (neutral just bc while it’s good when dealing with people I like, it’s fuel for anxiety)

a bit of a “mum friend” (in the sense that,,, i’m always concerned with people’s health and wellbeing but that can come off as overbearing at times? and it’s ironic that i’m a mum friend because as stated earlier, i can be kind of irresponsible hhh)

Interests

reading (when I can actually commit to a book sjkdfhs)

writing (when I’m not LAZY!! Also, my genres tend to be more along fantasy or urban fantasy lines? A little sci-fi, when I’m not scared off by trying to do worldbuilding for that genre because O H B O Y science & technology is a LOT scarier than magic tbh)

trawling Wikipedia for an unreasonably long time

drawing

character analysis (my favourite part of engaging with any new media skdfhkfhj)

anthropology (it’s my uni major and I love it!! so much!! i could talk about it for hours!!)

history (shamefully, i am a nerd)

art history (I LOVE ART, my fave artist is probably alphonse mucha? If you’ve never seen his stuff definitely have a look! It’s A Lot but it’s stunning)

sociolinguistics (it’s so interesting!! And I guess languages too, but I’m so bad at learning them asjfdhddsklj)

fashion (in a way? I just love pretty clothes, and my style is… a lot of patterns, especially animals and flowers, and it’s retro-adjacent?)

D O G S

most animals tbh (I love foxes and owls! i also adore mythological creatures, like dragons and griffins and all that)

again, i hope this isn’t too much!! thank you again, and i hope you enjoy the rest of 2019!! (when will i stop using exclamation marks my goodness–)

Hewooo!💕Omg I love your matchups I can’t believe you asked me for one I feel honored lsfdjdjakj. I really hope I don’t disappoint lol. Also haha I got inspired. So without further ado, let’s get to it! Your match is…

Claude von Riegan!!!

Bro you and Claude are like two peas in a pod. You both share a passion for knowledge, curious about the world and people around you. It’s a big part of who you are, which makes it all the more important for you to find someone who sympathizes with that need. For Claude, it’s one of his biggest motivators. Same as you, he appreciates different cultures and societies greatly. For that he needs someone who is open-minded and accepting, someone who can support his dreams, a world without borders, as well as someone who can accept who he truly is. With Claude’s curious nature, he always looks to be engaged, so your conversational and passionate character would certainly be intriguing to him. I can just imagine you two going on about for hours and hours, discussing anything and everything that comes to mind, especially about stuff relating to different cultures and different ways of life. Because Claude is more on the lighthearted side, someone with a sense of humor would be best suited for him, so someone who is as “chaotic” and unpredictable as you would be perfect to keep him engrossed and prying. All the same, Claude’s light-heartedness would be greatly beneficial to you, as you often struggle with anxious thoughts and feelings. A calm presence in your life to remind you things aren’t as bad as they seem, especially one as rational and reasoned as Claude. As we all know though, Claude despite acting light-hearted is quite secretive and wary of others. Therefore the fact that you have a trustworthiness about you could really get Claude to open up to you more so than to others. You being patient and perceptive would also be of great help, knowing Claude has his reasons as well as you being willing to wait until he opens up. Together, you’d be sure to change yourselves and the world for the better

Headcannons:

When you first meet Claude, you are incredibly drawn to him, as he possesses a very mysterious air about him, which of course only entices your curiosity.

Claude, sensing this, in turn, becomes curious about you (meanwhile everyone else just senses sexual tension)

Um, lowkey a detective couple? Discovering the mysteries of the world together…or your classmates’ secrets

Also tea time with you guys is #DEEP. Just thinking about the world and life in general

Sometimes it just turns into you rambling about your opinions or just in general things you want to talk about and Clause just listening to you with admiration or vice versa where he just talks about his vision of the world and you just staring at him in wonder, just goals

When Claude first hears you talking so passionately about stuff like anthropology and history, he immediately goes “Yep, they’re definitely the one”

He really appreciates how patient you are with him, even when you are curious about him. He promises though that one day he’ll share everything with you

Claude is always there to help whenever you start overthinking or catastrophizing, as he always has a logical argument as to why the situation is not as it seems. If it’s something more serious though and you really start panicking, he’ll hug you while reassuringly tell you it’s okay (he doesn’t always help with the indecisiveness though, like my bro how are you so chill about every decision you take)

He could also be of great help with your fear of responsibility, teaching you to have faith in yourself

Loves that you are imaginative, seriously you just brought his schemes up to a whole new level

Also haha chaotic couple, people are either dying of laughter with you guys around or are super confused about your dynamic (or scared who knows)

I get the impression that because Claude is always so immersed in his goals and responsibilities he has, he sometimes forgets to take care of himself, so you being a sort of mom friend would definitely be good for him

Umm also i’m pretty sure Claude loves dogs and animals (he rides a wyvern for christ sakes). He’ll totally take you out on a ride on his wyvern, just soaring across the sky seeing the world

If you’d ever take an interest in Almyran art history or fashion the man will love you forever. Honestly just taking an interest in the Almyran culture, history, etc. Will increase his love tenfold

Ughhh I just stan

Other matches: Ignatz Victor, Petra Macneary

Hope you enjoyed the matchup! If you feel like you weren’t portrayed correctly/I misinterpreted your information let me know and I’ll make the corrections!

#fire emblem three houses #fe:3h #regularmatchup #request #golden deer #submission #fire emblem matchup #three houses matchup #2

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dailydoseofzhi · 3 years

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Daily Entry #32 (27/03/2021)

I pulled an all-nighter last night calling my friends. By the time Daddy texted me around 4:30am, I was still on a call with them. I saw an incoming call from him & picked up (after muting my friends & turning off my camera) as I love talking to Daddy. We ended up calling for about an hour as he drove to the farm - I stayed on the call with my friends the entire time, just muted & all. When Daddy called me, he noticed that I wasn’t wearing my choker and asked me about it. I admitted that I’d worn it up till the moment I started calling my friends, and that I’d taken it off because I didn’t want them to ask me why I was wearing a choker to sleep. However, Daddy reminded me that the choker makes me feel good & that I shouldn’t care about the questions; he also basically said that I’d wear it if he was truly important to me. The moment he said that, I went to get it & put it on as Daddy genuinely means the world to me. He is my world. So I don’t want him to think otherwise by not wearing the choker.

Once our call ended, I spoke to my friends (while wearing the choker) for another 2 hours before I fell asleep. They asked me why I’d suddenly come back wearing a choker, to which I just said that I felt like it. They kinda gave me an odd look but I think they’re used to my shenanigans, therefore did not question me much further. I fell asleep on the call (around 7am) and woke up at 9am. Though I’d only gotten 2 hours of sleep, I still felt pretty good; I guess calling Daddy had put me into a really good mood.. I exercised & cleaned my room; and then started to get ready to go out for a friend’s birthday lunch. To show Daddy how important he is to me & how much I value wearing a choker, I opted to wear the white collar-like choker that he really likes; I feel the most slave like in it.

On the way to my friend’s hotpot birthday lunch, I had to pick up a cake for him that his girlfriend had booked at a nearby bakery. It was black forest, so I eagerly showed Daddy that because I remember it was his fav cake flavour. I don’t know why little things like that make me so happy. Like, I guess I like knowing little details about my Daddy. I had a good lunch & got back home around 4pm. I then baked some cookies (for another friend’s care package) and then got changed into a black tank top & my short plaid skirt from Shein. Though Daddy and I weren’t chatting at the time, I still sent him a lot of snaps as I went along throughout my day so that he’d know what his bitch was up to at every point during the day. I guess I like when he’s updated and stuff, because it makes me feel even more owned by him. I couldn’t find my biker shorts and I didn’t know if I had permission to wear panties or not, so I went to the party at night bare under my skirt.

The party was honestly so fun; it had such a good vibe.. There was a sushi boat & the people who were invited were super chill. I got invited to tag along to an AirBnB to get high but I opted not to as I’d already done so on Tuesday, and I wanted to obey Daddy and his “one cone a week” rule. There was also a vape being passed around; I’ll admit that I was mad tempted but I didn’t want to risk losing Daddy to that. Instead, I just danced a lot and had many, many shots. Initially we were just toasting w/ vodka shots, but then we played some drinking games and whatnot. it was a huge party: girls outnumbered single guys massively, though the host’s older brother had a lot of his friends over (though since they’re in my sister’s year, they’re kinda like “out of bounds” as they see me as a little sister). All in all, I had like 13 shots & started to feel really, really clingy for my Daddy. Like insanely needy. I spammed him loads, and when he replied to me, drunk me kinda forgot about his living situation so I tried to call him because I just wanted to hear his voice so badly. He sent me a video snap telling me that he loved me though, and I think that made my night. Daddy ordered me to get off my phone & go enjoy myself with my friends, but all I wanted to do was talk to him. I’m very honest when I’m drunk; I guess I lose my filter.. So I kept asking him for reassurance that he truly saw a future with me/ that I still made him happy, to which he told me to trust him. Tbh, recently I’ve started feeling like I can’t even see a future for myself. So knowing that he sees a future with me gives me hope to keep holding on for something. I thought about this a lot while I was drunk.. I would never ever harm myself or take my own life if Daddy left me, I know I wouldn’t. But I recently realised that there’s not a lot that I think is worth living for. At this point, I’m pretty much alive just because I don’t want to hurt my parents. And before Daddy texted me, though I was having fun w/ friends, I was having some pretty dark thoughts I’ll admit. They had nothing to do with him; more like me just realising that sometimes, I don’t really want to be alive. At the time, being drunk & all, it hadn’t occurred to me that if I took my own life, I’d be taking myself from him as well. As I write this sober, I feel so selfish for thinking about taking Daddy’s property away from him - so I know I wouldn’t. He’s kinda like my beacon in the dark; when I’m lost in my own thoughts, his presence makes everything better. As I always tell him, he’s like my painkiller. I just hope the effect he has on me doesn’t wear off because he really does lift all the dark thoughts away & make my life so much better.

Anyway, after texting him for a bit, my spirits were massively boosted & I felt mad horny (especially after seeing Daddy’s face). I sexted him a little bit, and tried to tease him a little bit in the bathroom mirror while I was peeing. That’s when Daddy told me he wanted to take advantage of me, and asked me to go suck a cock for him. I tried my best to: my sister’s friends were out of bounds, so were the taken guys.. A large group of guys had also left the party briefly to go get high (as the host said no smoking green on her property) so there really only were two potential targets. The Korean dude is pretty much asexual; like all his friends say that & he’s once told me that he has a right hand for a reason lol. So I tried for the Columbian guy. We ended up in the bathroom & he was leaning against me - I don’t think he was drunk but he was a bit stoned from a marijuana juice vape. I asked him if I could suck his cock but he wanted to make out first. I tried my best to divert him away from that & just let me get to business, but he kept pushing me against the wall and trying to kiss me. Eventually I just said nevermind & he let me leave; idk if Daddy wanted me to kiss him to get the cock sucking video but I didn’t want to incase Daddy didn’t approve of that. By then it was 11pm; my ride was coming in about a half hour. Thankfully, the group of guys had returned & among them was a Kiwi guy that I know has eyes for me. He came over to sit near me & chat, and we spoke for about 15mins before I asked if he wanted to go into the bathroom: which he did. There, he kinda felt me up a little bit while we talked some more & then I asked him if I could suck his cock. He was a bit curious when I asked him if he could record me doing it on MY phone and not his. I didn’t even end up getting to do it because my friend texted me saying her mum had arrived to take us home. I did snap a selfie w/ him while in the bathroom to show Daddy as proof that I’d tried though. Tbh, the Kiwi guy is super nice - he’s headboy for my school & all, and we get along quite a bit but the whole time we were in the bathroom, all I could think about was Daddy. Like I knew that I was only there because I wanted to complete Daddy’s task: nothing more. I was wet, but for Daddy and due to thoughts of Daddy. I felt a bit disappointed that I wasn’t able to complete his task, but Daddy reassured me that it was okay & that at least I had tried to obey him.

On the carride back, one of my exes (who I’m on good terms with, we just had a very physical relationship on & off for a couple months) hit me up saying that he was at another friend’s party and that I should pop over while I’m out. I had to say no because my parents were expecting me back by midnight, but I felt so upset at the time (being drunk and all) having to say no because I know that I could’ve sucked his cock on video easily for Daddy. I just felt so upset that I couldn’t complete his task. But upon telling Daddy that, he insisted that it was okay and that the task was voided - and I instantly felt better.

When I got back, Daddy told me he wanted to use me (yay hehe) & gave me a task to do. I basically had to video myself for 30mins fucking my pussy & asshole, and cum repeatedly to soak my bed for him. I was so eager for this task and within the first 3 minutes already came. But after that orgasm, I felt so nauseous and ended up throwing up in the bathroom. Looking back, I’m annoyed at myself because I could’ve cum so many times!! But I’m glad I managed to get a short slutty video for Daddy; it really was a great orgasm, which I had to the thought of my Daddy. It’s always him. And I like it that way. I truly have realised that ever since I’ve submitted to him, no one else can turn me on. It’s like he owns my libido too. I have no complaints about that though. I am his.

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elizabethrobertajones · 6 years

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13x07 Watching Notes

Should probably not have multiple scenarios where I snark out loud and then the very next line of dialogue is that snark but innocently delivered.

Heyooo it’s not our Christmas cliffhanger though!

Expectations: It has literally just occurred to me right now sitting down to type out my expectations that this season's *entire* main plot so far has been "the spawn of satan is cuter than we expected".

I'm still trying to wrangle the idea of how you get hours of Buckleming plot twists and slow exposition out of this, although introducing 18 different angles for them to tackle the problem and returning us to the AU world is a good start to have at least 4 plot threads going and hey I feel like this episode is supposed to be a breather for having too many Jack episodes in a row which makes it even funnier that they're gonna have to deal with the absence of something but who knows maybe he will show up before episode 9. If not they may genuinely be tricked into considering narrative negative space in some form or another, at least by the actual omission of Jack from the episode, despite the fact it has to be about him.

There's like at least 3 individual ways each arc might go terribly, and I'm typing this as pre-yoga thoughts while trying to do my NaNoWriMo and I watched Brooklyn 99 already this morning, and essentially I'm pretty much just bracing against "Oh god this new sleep pattern is the worst and it has ruined nearly every episode this season for me" migraines. So I'm just gonna be super chill because the stress of this ridiculous bed at 8pm awake at 5am thing is killing me without bad writing on my favourite show.

So, instead of modelling a worst case scenario, here's a best case one: it's crowded, the pacing is bad, there's some bizarre lines of dialogue and no room for any character interaction and the sneak peek already showed us the sum total of Destiel interaction but in hindsight with the rest of the episode that's actually a plus, and aside from that there's no rape or catastrophic bad decisions or characterisation that just makes our guys look like idiots because the villains aren't that smart and they're still outwitting them or something. Cas wasn't even mentioned in the episode description if I recall and I would like to think that is because he gets Buckleminged in the way where they forget he exists so he's in 2 scenes and just kinda stops at some point and that's the last we hear of him for a few episodes but at least nothing happened to him :P

(It HELPS that the bad decision of the year seems like it should be Jack and Kaia ganging up in 13x09 and this is just a plot filler episode where they can't blow everything up from sheer incompetence, since the main plot is still Jack, and all Buckleming can do is escalate stuff but not so much we find Jack, so they're mostly running free with Lucifer, Michael and Asmodeus on the playground they've been permitted to keep them distracted. On the other hand, that does not lend itself towards 'storytelling structure' whatsoever. So I may derive some fun from mentally re-writing this episode as it goes as well.)

Hi I'm back and I have tea and preemptive paracetamol and look I not do crap like this lightly but the only thing wrong with me is sleep and yoga but glug glug glug down the hatch, I'm not fucking around, migraine. I swear to god if I even see a HINT of you...

I should also mention that my only prep for this episode was watching Tall Tales last night with my mum because we're lightly re-watching season 2 and I thought you know what look how far that fucker has come that he's just one of the show's regular directors now or something. I forgot that completely this morning so I'm amending my expectations (it WAS annoyingly early in the day) to add that Speight hasn't directed a Buckleming yet but I'm interested to see how he handles it.

The episode starts with Mary cheerfully punching Lucifer at least 3 times in the face. I am still extremely proud of her for doing that but overall disappointed that it's led to her banishment to be a Buckleming character this season, which has been a fast way to ruin characters.

We get the entire first minute of the recap in Buckleming POV, aka they write the corny villains - and specifically a lot of Asmodeus point of view, his summary of the situation and what needs doing, having graciously inherited this throne, and comments on where Lucifer is as a sort of trailing off, well that's not my concern if he's gone. Only at the minute mark does the recap flip around to something genuinely ABOUT Jack as we've been seeing him, rather than trying to sell Jack as woooo Lucifer's scaaary son. Suddenly Jack's own identity crisis and him leaving.

Maybe it's just because they were trimming for time, but they cut the "all of you" from "I know I'm going to hurt you" but they also left the focus on Sam. I am mostly amused that by removing the clarification - which has been a theme of the season - it reduces that moment to a bare minimum surface layer, as if to say bye bye writing depth hello random action.

I had a burgeoning theory last year from one episode or another that pretty much everyone is lampooning Buckleming while letting them get on with writing their stuff, and trying to run loops around them in basically any other way.

There was something going on on screen involving a lot of stock footage while I was digging around in my bag looking for my 3DS assuming this was gonna be a Lucifer scene. I still think they're softening him up to kill him, but that's something I have to hope. One of the other non-redemption options is that they need to make him at least halfway manageable if he is gonna end up working with Cas or something. There is something vaguely appropriate matching Buckleming dialogue to Lucifer melodramatics, but unfortunately I really can't give these writers or that character much of a chance so while I'm happy to let them take him to play with over on their bit of the story like a chew toy to keep them off the stuff I like, it is annoying this is all the canon of the show I like >.>

One or the other of Buckleming really really dislikes God and organised religion though, and that does often lend the interesting thing to an episode where for some reason as soon as religion is involved the writing actually gets halfway decent.

One thing Lucifer says that catches my interest is his idea the universe is written without irony, when tbh that has literally been his downfall in season 5, and in general the universe is ironic to the WINCHESTERS to whom the universe is actually happening to, and there's the whole Dean is the centre of the universe thing, and THEN there's Billie's line about how sometimes the universe is poetic, coupled with how Dean got Cas back entirely through dramatic irony. I can't remember if Chuck commented on dramatic irony. Anyway Lucifer sucks, the story doesn't happen to him and he doesn't have the resources to read it. Metatron *thrived* on that sort of thing.

I like the visual of Michael standing with the sun behind him - it gives him absolutely the divine look he'd love to have, and I just wish he didn't have randomly shirtless Lucifer taking up some of that visual. If someone doesn't make a gifset chopping Lucifer out to just enjoy that image, I will make one, perhaps.

Something else to enjoy about this: they locked Mark P in some sort of medieval torture device and no matter how comfy you try and make it, there's obvious limits to that, so I will enjoy that he had to do that.

Michael sees that Lucifer is scared of being locked up and caged, which actually is... accidentally or not... a pretty clever callback, although it wouldn't have killed them to have Michael deduce this on screen, because in 9x18 Dean - Michael's vessel - deduces that Gadreel - a blatant Lucifer parallel in many respects while obviously not in many many others - is terrified of being caged again.

Of course that exchange is one of the single most fascinatingly well-acted exchanges of the entire show which on my umpteenth viewing still knocks me completely flat so it's not a FAIR comparison, but it is an interesting one.

I like that Michael think that the main universe is already paradise - in comparison to his shithole, definitely, because it still has pretty stock footage. Thematically interesting since obviously paradise is a bit of an issue with what people want...

LOL Wanek's ridiculous "concrete bunker" set... The camera pulls back and there's a massive Jesus on the wall and Lucifer's hanging behind him screeching and it's like... That is an inanimate lump of wood and I can see it rolling its eyes at you.

In the earlier moments out here in the AU we saw the church from 8x23 poking up out of the rubble, and whether this is the same one or not NOW, because I think it was a bit too buried to be this one, it conjures the memory of 8x23, and that one was interesting specifically because Jesus wasn't there - the cross had only his hands and feet remaining and the rest had been torn down. Sam was inserted into that empty space because he was doing the big heroic world-saving sacrifice that from one direction of pure irony the episode was named after (since he decided not to do it/the real motives for his sacrifice were way more interesting than him going through with it heroically anyway etc) but it was another Sam and Jesus moment, like in 5x22 where he more straight-forwardly sacrificed himself.

(And jeeze you watch one episode with the guy and now I can't get him out of my head - remembering in 9x18 Gabriel snarking about how he died for their sins and then making one of the few Jesus references on the show. Jesus is usually extremely absent from this show, so actually having him on screen is very interesting)

Anyway I am pretty sure this is almost entirely to remind Lucifer what a great big fucking drama queen he is being about this all and of course he's sacrificing for nothing.

Blah blah promo scene.

They have the photo of Jack from Mia's security camera which means no one has snapped a cute picture of him on their phone yet, Cas included. Disappointing.

Now, I'm pretty hesitant to get into characterisation in BL episodes, and Dean just generically wryly comments on how powerful Jack is which could mean anything but Sam then says he might be covering his tracks and then Cas, who has to be written sympathetic to Jack, comes through the door saying that it could mean Jack is in trouble with the various forces that want to control him. Sam's comment coupled with Cas's interruption seems to make it much more likely that Sam's comment is to be taken as vaguely unnerved/suspicious of what Jack can do, and that he's doing things like that Dean implies. That Jack learned so fast he might be able to cause a fair amount of destruction but conceal it from them and if they're trying to track him, Sam is expecting destruction.

Dean also came from the kitchen with coffees so why is Cas coming from the back of the Bunker... I'm gonna have to assume he was until just now lounging around in Dean's bed and Dean was like I better go get coffee and help Sam and Cas was like yeah but thanks for the 'sorry your son ran away' sex i feel a lot better and Dean was like no problem babe, and probably gave Cas one of those ridiculous shoulder nudges in the most no homo way ever before he got up to find where they threw his underwear an hour earlier, and Cas just kinda chilled while Dean was getting the coffee so as not to be suspicious by piling in on Sam after taking the exact same length break from the search but then they fucked it up and still managed to enter the scene within 30 seconds of each other.

Yeah, that's probably it.

I just saw the list of guest stars wander by and took 3 emergency gulps of my tea at that combo of Osric and for some reason DHJ because file that under genuinely unexpected :P

PS: I know we knew Kevin would be back this year but the fact I managed to find Kevin thematic stuff in the last 2 episodes in a row still feels important to me as storytelling rather than foreshadowing.

Anyway Cas tries to tell Dean the angels don't like him, and Dean volunteering to go with him because "i could go with you" is a thing and they keep doing it to each other and ow

Blah blah we could work a case. Are you serious? I really seriously hope this is not literally Buckleming's thought process about wtf do we do with Sam and Dean this episode after establishing maybe 4-5 other plotlines we need to handle away from them. I hope it turns out to be directly main plot related, whatever they stumble on, but we already now have them in a position where any involvement with the main stuff will be them stumbling on it or it coming to them. See above: ways in which the main characters are automatically made to be stupid. Subtle things, like not being able to imagine a way in which Sam and Dean are resourceful enough to even start to find Jack which doesn't involve googling things.

I mean we have no clue what you're doing with this random witch seeming case, why can't you bring a detail foreward if it's from the main plot to give us a clue. And if it's not, tell us something connected to it which will at least make Sam and Dean interested in it as a lead? Even if they're not right about why, put them on the trail because they're good at their jobs!

Anyway hi Asmodeus? As soon as we clear the promo scene etc I start assuming everyone is Asmodeus

I mean, in this case it literally is. but you can't trust anyone these days.

He needs to have his equivalent scene to sitting around in the Bunker googling, which, which is to say, the same type of minions who brought Crowley or Lucifer news are now coming toadying in to tell Asmodeus news, and the only difference is his name is harder to spell.

He's trying to do the same thing reaching out to Jack that we saw Lucifer trying to do last season, to Dagon. There is always the possibility that Asmodeus just isn't powerful enough to get into Jack's head from this extreme range when he has no idea where he is. Loser.

This minion seems to be mistakenly labelling Jack as "the Jack", maybe not as a mark of respect but more misunderstanding what he is, that he's not a thing, that that's his name...

Asmodeus asks who's protecting Jack, and cut to the image of Jesus again. I don't know about him, but tbh it could just be that Jack is protecting HIMSELF and they've massive underestimated him to do that. Jesus on this show represents a lot more of the personal autonomy saving yourself thing.

Also hey as long as we're not seeing Jack, we're getting that gosh darned hole in the narrative that he represents while he's missing. Is this actually a lesson in subtlety?

Michael meanwhile is enjoying tormenting Lucifer some more because blah blah sole purpose in life and what do you even do when you win.

Lucifer appears to have claimed to be a god in the SPN verse and Michael's like, here you're pathetic, and I'm like, mate, he was pretty pathetic in the main SPN universe too

There's some cool crosses on the walls which are trying to help, bringing light into this church.

Yeah where is Mary anyway - I wasn't gonna ask, but then Lucifer seemed to imply that Michael was keeping her around.

I mean sheesh the easiest way to get Mary around is to just have her in the scene still lurking but then film it as if it's almost entirely from her eyeballs POV if she doesn't have anything else to be doing right now - having her witnessing this theatre as the person from the main SPN world who's come over here.

KEV

Awwww he's gone a wee bit off the rails in this world, seeing as he'd have had to be helping Michael and reading tablets the entire time and also the entire world appears to be destroyed.

I don't know why Lucifer's having a personal reaction to Kevin unless I totally forgot something but they were literally never in the same seasons as each other although weirdly both in 11x21 so obviously must just be angels would know all the prophetsand which one was currently active... Maybe he's just surprised that in the AU Kevin survived even longer than he did in the supposedly better world.

Well there aren't any Winchesters in this one and Lucifer always underestimates them, in this case positively re: likelihood of getting Kevin killed :P

Oh great they're powering down Lucifer a bit. Well that should make him much more irritating.

I mean mostly because everything makes him irritating.

But it means the show wants him around some more but they can't have him at full power because it's just inconvenient so now they're finding a reason to water him down so they can have him around dragging his heels and complaining. I suppose it might make some comparisons to Cas, who's on a smidgen of left-over grace, but again, see also: eye rolling wooden Jesus, there's no way you can redeem Lucifer and not by comparing him to Cas.

Metatron got some sort of treatment but he was nowhere near like Cas even when he was done being redeemed and he still had to be killed off doing a heroic thing rather than let him stick around.

I'm just grinding my teeth and I already got part of the way through the next scene but UGH

So hey thinking of random versions of other characters why is DHJ's magnificent facial hair making a cameo return role on this side of the interdimensional nosense? You can't just grow a beard and start hunting witches on the down low on the winchesters' turf.

I'm assuming including DHJ's names in the credits was specifically some sort of nonsense now

specifically monsters going around looking like other things.

Maybe it was a shapeshifter Ketch punched a few weeks ago. It's only been a few weeks since he died, you know.

Maybe it's Asmodeus.

Maybe it's maybelline

The plot reason for the beard had better be hilarious.

I like Daniella the Beret Witch. For some reason I thought she looked tons like the witch Sam and Dean were looking at on the CCTV but when I went back to look I actually spotted her in the background watching them and waiting to make her move, and she doesn't look like the one on the CCTV at all so I guess my brain clocked her and filed her away because she was sitting around in a huge scarf, sunglasses and a beret and my brain didn't want me to not pay attention to her in case she was useful.

Kevin's weirdly pristine but still grey hoodie is making me giggle. He looks like the AU has barely touched him and Michael's even dirty and ragged.

I'm not sure I even want to touch random morality discussions from Buckleming. Lucifer says Michael is pure evil, Kevin says "aren't you Satan?" and Lucifer really hasn't done anything ever to make us actually want to root for him. Like sure Michael is the much worse bigger bad in the show's rankings but that doesn't make Lucifer less quanitifiably evil. Michael's way more complex because Lucifer is the big cartoon evil that Sam had to originally fear, the "what if I am actually evil" character mirror that obviously Sam isn't but it meant Lucifer needed no character complexity other than whiny manipulative interpretations of how he'd been mistreated where he could protest he had a side. Michael is waaaay more complex just in the like 2 episodes he actually talks in season 5 because he's "what if Dean was the big bad" and he's not evil, he's just 100% black and white morality rigid "good" in the sense of punishing evil, to the point of not questioning an order to kill his brother, and not even having a particularly "cool motive still murder" approach like Cain, but literally just like well okay then I guess I will kill my brother. How to make DEAN evil, or to personify the darkness that lives in him.

I mean I am massively simplifying but dear lord Buckleming if you read my notes this is the baseline direction you need to be writing these characters from and I am trying to HELP.

I am genuinely feeling like you're mistaking "apparent fan favourite because they make a lot of memes about him, Lucifer" as "this must mean people genuinely like him because he's Lucifer" and any possible reason I would find him interesting as a villain who was held up to just kinda exist and be himself doing his awful things contrasted to Michael who was just around existing and doing his awful things, is all just draining away down the toilet. Like you've got Lucifer lodged in there and you're flushing and flushing around him >.>

Anyway I'm going to take this entire scene as 100x more ironic than it was probably originally intended to be, that Kevin is not exactly right about Michael (and lol, Michael being the Dean parallel just kinda using Kevin all the time for random spells and always having him on the hook for doing things for them) but he's sure not wrong about Lucifer, Lucifer protesting Michael is evil because he's mistreating him and has destroyed this planet sure isn't WRONG but it's not a "so therefore I must be right"

And I kind of think the level of subtlety this writing is at is that "Michael is a dick and therefore Lucifer looks better in comparison"

But that's not how any of this works

*insert Jesus eyeroll*

*pats poor overworked manic AU!Kevin's hair*

I wonder if he's actually going to be able to do it

it would be HILARIOUS if they waste Lucifer's grace on this

Hey he did it, I'm proud of you AU!Kev. He always manages to do the thing :P

Okay not good that Lucifer has just been thrown back because A: Mary is still trapped over there, I assume for the much more important emotional arc stuff to do with rescuing her especially in the parallel to getting Cas back and all this stuff for Sam's arc and all

But UGH the writing of Lucifer is just really annoying me on so many levels and punting him back into the main SPN universe depowered and humbled by his brother, just annoys me so much.

Like I don't know how much more less enthused I have to be about Lucifer having struggles.

Boo hoo

Last season Dean got mistaken for homeless after he got hit with the memory spell, and was offered cash to make him go away.

he handled it considerably better than Lucifer.

I am just gonna assume this random woman is Asmodeus.

Lucifer probably ought to go grab that cash he was offered...

Oh wait here's Asmodeus, torturing some poor bloke called Karl who apparently works at the motel from last week.

I'm impressed they managed to track Jack that far, tbh

The question is, is there an actual memo that the Winchesters are camped in an old, heavily warded, impossible to map or locate MoL bunker, or is that something you only find out after you tail them for a bit? I mean Jack might not be there any more either but it would be a start :P

I feel extra skeevy about this scene because Asmodeus is being a total moron for starters by not checking Karl's level of clued in to this, and so he's this white plantation owner coded guy in his shiny white suit, torturing a black guy who isn't even on the same level as him for info he doesn't have, and could in no way be resonably expected to know. So it's doubly cruel. Although in some respects Asmodeus's coding makes this gratuitous violence a commentary, just like Buddy and Dave being collosal douches to women in the last few episodes was called out in many ways simply by their existence and coding as collosal douches.

Still not nice to watch on screen, especially without even more specific reference to Asmodeus's doucheyness because the stupidity of this dialogue is not helping.

Like did the minions just bring Karl to him and say hey we tracked the Winchesters and Jack this far, he might know more?

Like...

This is the sort of basic intelligence test fail here, that they're not over-thinking this scene in the specific details that you need to not have your main villain parade around displaying total idiocy over.

Like why the Winchesters would book into a motel under "Sam and Dean Winchester and Jack the Nephilim" and then Karl would know that and know what that means.

You can't just drag a normy into the Hell Main Office and torture them for info about Jack when they have no clue who that is.

He literally

can shapeshift

into anything

Go to the Stampede Motel, turn into a pretty girl in a low cut top, and lean on the motel check in desk until you know what you were after.

I'm no longer impressed they found Karl, I'm AMAZED.

Why did they kiiiiill him

Lol Asmodeus is so hammy

what's he sensing

Has he figured out Lucifer is back?

Meanwhile: Sam and Dean voluntarily go to a creepy cabin in the woods with a witch. This is not quite as stupid as Asmodeus was just being.

I am loving the plot development that David Hayden Jones has returned to the show as himself to find Rowena. Like dammit, you were a really cool character I had no interaction with but we coulda had some screen magic for all you know. You may or may not be in this episode as a surprise appearance which as Lizzy said putting MY name in the credits is the "hey it's that guy" fuckery to distract from the fact there's some bigger fuckery at foot (like... aside from the fact I was back to back with OSRIC FUCKING CHAU) because you don't *just* randomly put my very recognisable name in the credits at the start of the episode with Osric unless it's because something's up. So heeey here I am, I'm looking for Rowena, because dangit Ruthie deserves another chance to be in this show.

Daniella is also really slow to realise that Sam just said she was going to be bait. It took until Dean repeated it for her to realise.

She's really pretty though.

She starts choking like several moments before the gas hits her

... is that DHJ?

I mean we're getting a close up on his face but I literally. Do. Not. Recognise. Him.

I remember rambling at some point in my watching notes in season 12 when his face was being particularly hilarious after I'd seen con photos of DHJ that Ketch is one of the most effective character disguises I've ever seen for an actor's face. TBH it's the same weird different face thing I get from Alex Calvert - that he's all clean shaven and filmed as a wee nougat child in the show but he has an instagram of unrecognisable smouldering glamour shots, often with scruff. DHJ has a beard and that's his face, and part of the Ketch look was being clean shaven and crammed in a tight collar which is an incredibly British upper class twit look, and even in other clothes later the illusion lasted... But add a beard and stop grooming his hair and he just turns into some other person entirely.

Ah well, Dean gets to punch DHJ with Ketch's accent again which must be satisfying for him.

Did they take DHJ back to the Bunker? Really?

Oh he doesn't have the tattoo

LOL he's his "twin" "brother"... Obviously.

Yeah okay whatever you say, DHJ.

elizabethrobertajones Hey what if DHJ was actually Rowena

mittensmorgul oh god, don't give them ideas

ALSO if you have an "evil twin brother" you would generally assume that this sort of thing would happen a lot and you'd try and clarify sooner? I bring up my twin like every other time I talk about myself.

Also this is a ridiculous concept I refuse to engage with

I mean, thematically, wowsers. Fits right in with Buddy and Dave and things that look like other things

ALSO DHJ has been going around torturing witches so it's not like he's been the good twin

ALSO WHY IS HE HERE?

Apparently he's a hitman hunter

I suppose it's kind of like Bela but I do find it really strange.

Like how does anyone even know to hire him if no one knows monsters exist? Who is pointing him at these things?

Insinuating himself into situations like Bela to get work maaay be a way to do it, like if the Winchesters showed up in town and immediately told the sheriff what was up and then offered their fee as contractors or something. Pfft.

Pfft.

And then he's like "we hunters" because he's trying to bond with them or something

To google!

It's convenient he kept a beard his whole life

Oh okay Sam stole hard drives from the BMoL and is using their actual data.

I like the side by sides of their report cards where the prop people literally did them backwards from each other. "*More effort required!" they say about Alexander, and "Excellent work!" for Arthur.

Dean isn't buying it

LOL they dumped Ketch's corpse into the waste canal.

Do you want a haunted Bunker? That's how you get a haunted Bunker.

Anyway Dean is like NOPE don't believe it and Sam's like... there's so much proof... and then he goes in to question DHJ again and DHJ is like... you literally saw me get shot in the head last season, you don't trust that? And Sam's like no I had to concede that Dean had a point that we really can't trust anything and I guess Cas did just randomly come back or something and we have horrific problems with the white men on this show coming back again for completely random reasons that make no sense so you had better bloody well actually be re-introducing Rowena into the narrative even more dramatically than the warning Billie gave about the red-headed witch that Dean probably didn't tell me about now come to think of it, but I'd still like to see her again because we had a sort of weird thing we never really talked about going on...

Also are they keeping DHJ in the store room that showed up for the pencil scene but isn't the other store room? It looks like a different part of the Bunker repurposed.

Sam mis-reads Ketch, maybe because he never knew him as well as Mary or even Dean saw him. DHJ is like dude I played him for a year and psychoanalysed him and his crush on Dean in multiple interviews, so trust me when I tell you all his character exposition.

The stuff about being loyal to Heaven - I mean the BMoL - and being a company man echo what Ishim said about old Cas in 12x10

DHJ like, I did so much character work in those interviews, and I never got a chance for Ketch to be sympathetic so let me offer some more insight on him now you have me in the worst interview chair ever.

Also, don't go into pop culture journalism, Sam

"If he were here, he'd admit regret to some of the things he did to your family"

Yeah unless you have a magic twin link (well... not unlikey tbh with random ass canon pulls) you're either Arthur Ketch or just DHJ enjoying doing interviews about Ketch to a twisted and weird level and I'm sort of gonna have to do an intervention on this for him.

CAS

NEW PLAYGROUND

New angel!

mittensmorgul dumas? that's the name the superwiki has linked, but her page is blank

elizabethrobertajones Heh 3 musketeers again first in the off-brand nougat now that

"If we had him he wouldn't be imprisoned he'd be put to work"

SHE WANTS NEW ANGELS

I don't freakin blame her

But Jack shouldn't be "put to work" either - he would have to want to do it.

Awww Cas getting protective over Jack before I'm done typing that of course this means Jack would be forced to do it and the angel says "No other choice" because of course she does.

As usual heaven isn't comic book evil but its purposes in the name of "good" are super shady. Even if Jack was pure evil himself, Heaven enslaving a powerful nephilim for its own purposes would be dodgy.

Btw I am still torn about Cas's compulsion to care about Jack but on the other hand I am really enjoying Cas generally existing and being alive - and wait a minute she didn't even ask about how he was doing that - so I'm pretty much enjoying the surface level about Cas and Jack right now. Because of course I see the good in Jack that he DOES need protecting, so however Cas ended up on this, at least he is doing the right thing and taking the right stance.

"Castiel, he's not your pet. He belongs to all of us."

Uhoh, Cas is probably going to get grabbed.

*surprise*

Hey he did pretty well considering he's fighting 3 angels and is much weaker than them.

Oh boy, here's Lucifer. This is gonna go great.

Does Cas or Lucifer need to start this with the "you're supposed to be dead/in the AU" first?

Lol, Cas is the first person in this entire damn episode to actually ask a relevant question, and it's one we already know the answer to

*waves a little flag for Cas though*

Hey and then Lucifer asks about Cas being alive, what do you know.

He then calls Cas "cowboy" and pretends like Cas wouldn't kick his ass.

I am pretty happy about the "cowboy" thing :P

Lucifer has found a tan jacket somewhere, specifically one that looks like the one Jack was wearing but maybe a bit thicker, more like Cas's new coat. He's trying to edge in on this family and I can only assume this is not even a veiled metaphor for the douchey biological father wanting to be all interested in his son's business.

Lucifer in a tan jacket makes me think wolf in sheep's clothing.

He does, however, shelve the issue of child custody for now, and he appears to be genuinely freaked out enough about Michael to make that a priority and tell Cas about it, because if you want help against Michael, we've had 2 references to Team Free Will in short succession and that was a phrase coined specifically to spite Michael...

I don't think Lucifer should be allowed in, remotely, because it's become a family term, but the imagery is interesting anyway that he is trying to leech off the success of TFW to accomplish the goals he could never do himself. Especially because it was blatant in season 5 to everyone but him that Michael would kick his butt since he already did it once before and nothing has changed, 12x12 confirmed Michael would kill him slowly, and now meeting an AU Michael, he discovers that yep Michael sure is stronger than him, even when he was the last strong archangel left, and then Michael took that from him...

None of this, however, makes Lucifer sympathetic or good, just self-interested in not dying, and who is better at not dying than Cas?

I mean he wasn't even expecting to see Cas here, I guess he was going to a heaven portal to try and get them to listen?

LOL Kingdom Beer sign over Cas and Lucifer having a chat in a bar.

Cas looks Weary.

"I came back from the dead to deal with THIS? Please take me back to yesterday when it was fun kinky cowboy times with Dean."

I'm glad Cas isn't remotely friendly to Lucifer and is quick to remind him about how killed he got last time they hung out. Lucifer continues to be whiny and annoying about it all, unrepentant for killing Cas over petty nonsense.

LOL Lucifer is like "this Michael is much more powerful"

buddy. dude. go watch 12x12 then get back to me about how whooped your butt would have been. I mean go look at that lovely painting of him whooping your butt that was in 12x12 and unrelated to the fact he had that fucking lance in the first place.

Anyway he's trying to convince Cas to use his influence on Jack to get them to be the ultimate team up but they're fundamentally incapable of doing that because they're the 2 rival dads for Jack and blatantly symbolically being shown as that in these costumes, and that's one of the huge thematic things.

Cas like "You are the Weakest Link, goodbye."

I love Cas being so snarky, so maybe Lucifer being around is good in some respects, that it makes Cas this snarky because he has something to bounce off as awful and despised as Lucifer. Not even Crowley got THIS dismissive treatment, because they had emotional baggage that was of a whole different sort, whereas Cas and Lucifer have been opposite mirrors the whole time since season 4

Lucifer is emphasising how he and Cas are the big cosmic powers around here, with Jack. Hm...

Lol Cas is like "I'm calling my guys who deal with these things" and Lucifer bangs his head on the table in despair. I guess this is like the boy who called wolf except that instead of calling wolf he was literally going around eating all the sheep and was banned from being a shepherd for life and locked away and got out and ate more sheep and was locked away and got out and ate more sheep and got locked away and THEN came back like oh hi something's gonna eat all our sheep.

Lucifer then says Cas needs him and that he needs Cas and they all need Jack.

So Um I guess "Need" is The Worst Word right now :P

"Jack. Your son's name is *Jack*" *pats Cas's hair*

Pfft themes "is he a chip off the old block?" "thankfully, no. he seems to favour the mother"

Theeeeeeeeemes

Cas squinting when he lies - I don't think that's his lying tell because he does it too much, but perhaps uncertainty. The fact he squinted so much in the reintroduction huggy scene last episode feels to me less like lying and more like no clue what was going on and how mad he had to be about his humans sacrificing for him to come back.

Laughing at all their labelled phones lying around permanently charging. I think this is the first proof we've ever seen that they have a Bobby phone bank, but I can't imagine who would rely on the Winchesters to answer the phone when they need proof of ID :P They're like ALWAYS being abducted or disappearing on cases.

Or dying.

Okay so the phones are more just for their personal IDs for the cards THEY give out and they're just getting a call back from the motel for some reason, I suppose because Jack was with them (seriously. Dean gave the motel the name Jack? I have to assume Jack said his name before they could re-name him on the fly and so he was registered as a guest there as Jack the Nephilim because why the fuck not... Berens has a magic skill of un-fucking Buckleming canon but it seems Buckleming's skill is fucking up poor Davy's, in 12x13 and 12x17 and now here...)

ANYWAY jesus christ Asmodeus is stupid. "Evil Colonel Sanders" literally walked in and abducted Karl in person which means that his stupid ass questions weren't even because his minions brought him the guy and presented him in an idiotic way, but our shapeshifting villain wandered in and took Karl, himself in person with his own freaking face that the Winchesters KNEW and is extremely memorable, and took his prize.

...

DHJ better turn out to be Asmodeus even though I think their screentime overlapped and this makes no freaking sense since he has some established history wandering around attacking witches before they caught up with him.

I'd rather have a time plothole than a stupid plothole :P

Anyway DHJ is hanging out with them in the library eating a sandwich because... um

reasons?

At least he's in chains.

Oh my god I said that sarcastically moments before Sam said it sincerely and then pointed out there's no bathroom in the armoury

what the fuck

Like I said up top: as stupid as the villain is, your main characters have to be about as dumb as they are, either only just enough to outwit them, or more stupid if they get outwitted...

Poor Sammy, he was having such a fantastic season

Dean just straight up pretends Mary is phone when DHJ asks because why the heck would you monologue your sad life story to the bad guy, and give him emotional leverage over you? Especially when he ASKS because "Alexander" should have no knowledge of Mary or care about her, but then he also shouldn't know the DHJ interview details of Ketch's inner life.

YAY Dean and Cas are talking and Dean phoned Cas probably just to hear a sane voice because Cas is managing to weave around being Buckleminged, so far, possibly just because he was not in the opening half of the episode, and then this was a really important conversation they couldn't fuck up so probably got supervised.

elizabethrobertajones tee hee Cas standing by the gents to take a call from Dean wait hang on ... I'm not even being jokey I literally just had that moment in the chat with you :P *rewinds* Longing retcon Confirmed Oh dear that is hilarious I don't know if that's the moment you wanted me to see or not but I'm delighted :P

elizabethrobertajones Cas was standing away from Lucifer ready to take Dean's phone call and had to have walked off up to a minute before he called, but most likely in that time when Dean was like UGH I need to talk to Cas and hear the one sane voice in this episode and Cas was like... Brb I... have to use... the 'Gents' and got up and wandered off to take the call eat it, 12x10 and that "where's my phone" moment I mean Buckleming introduced it to fill a plothole so why should they not use it to cover more plotholes at their leisure

... did Speight know? I mean he coulda been like what the heckeroo, and added Cas getting the call and legging it from the table.

The only other option I can think of is Cas decided he may as well just get up to "go pee" because Lucifer is so annoying that pretending he needs to go to the loo buys him 5 minutes to let his migraine subside.

Also what the fuck DHJ was wandering around the bunker so he could use the bathroom. I am confused. Is this actually like... being hinted at. Like, "hey children, please remember who does and doesn't need to use the bathroom in this episode"

Omg

Cas like "I would *like* to see you too" is he literally pretending he and Dean were canoodling on the phone as a cover?

I hate everything

Anyway need/want blah blah I have been over that a lot lately :P Cas is using his DESIRE to see Dean to get help, by Lucifer saying he NEEDS Cas.

"Smooth was never your strong suit" oh my god Lucifer also thought Cas was pretending to be flirty too what is going on

why has this episode confirmed all the headcanons about Cas being the most shittiest phone sex guy ever

of all the things.

why.

DHJ wants to go because he misses being in on the action with the guys

Like. No, go take your sandwich and sit down.

Dean is sad about Cas always getting killed by Lucifer and stuff when he does stupid things.

Cas's "ugh stop talking Lucifer" face is a whole layer more existential misery than dealing with Crowley... I think he was secretly fond of Crowley or at least enjoyed hating him, whereas Lucifer is just EXHAUSTING.

He's needling Cas for attention.

LOL randomly Asmodeus as if Cas's headache wasn't bad enough, now we got thunder and lightning and very very frightening...

Pfft.

bahahaha Lucifer called Asmodeus the dim bulb

I mean he's not wrong, Asmodeus has been completely idiotic all episode. And of course, narratively, his "evil plans" are just self-interest which will endanger the entire world because even if Lucifer is a twat, he has a point about the coming danger of Michael, and Asmodeus just refuses to see the danger, which is all kinds of various political commentary, and using his era aesthetic to say this kind of thinking is such a throwback...

I think this might be the most confused Cas has ever been about if he should stab someone or not - if he actually WANTS to defend Lucifer. Not really, but Asmodeus seems like a bigger problem because at least Lucifer isn't trying to kill him.

I hope this just randomly gets Asmodeus killed.

Or Lucifer

Asmodeus just called Lucifer "screwable"... do they even know what they said? :P

EEEP there was a Margiekugel sign and it just flickered off

"Nick's bar" pfft because Lucifer?

It seems like Sam and Dean are too late and Asmodeus already made off with everyone?

I hope Cas is okay

being held captive by that idiot seems like a fate worse than death. You're going to get villain monologues all day.

Anyway fight fight fight

Good fight.

Where did DHJ even come from?

that was a ridiculous nonsense about how he escaped. I also will die if he took Dorothy's bike and not his own left stashed there. Also he nodded at Dean like hey you didn't cavity search me like you should have, which... Is he actually Ketch?

He's actually Ketch

Of course that means Dean knows him very well and trusted his gut instinct on knowing Ketch to prove that he was not, in fact, the actor David Hayden Jones, chillaxing on set and being weirdly cheerful about being beaten up by the Winchesters.

Pfft he used Rowena's charm to get alive again

Well she better be fine if they're gonna use her like this.

"Is she?"

LOL Ketch ninja'd out of there

Oh good it wasn't Dorothy's bike

Considering how they use Rowena, DON'T use Mary, etc I'd have taken Dorothy's bike as a personal insult. I guess Ketch rode his over to the Bunker before 12x22.

I mean at least this means Ketch remembers he got shot and then also he revived in a sewer where he belonged because he is garbage.

Wait. He set up this whole thing in like a month or so TOPS since he got shot? If he’s been chasing witches has he even had TIME for a side business?

Oh boy, Asmodeus using Cas's voice to talk to Dean.

BAD HELLO DEAN.

That "see you soon" is also way too cheerful. It should be as much of a tip off as Cas begging Dean to come help him in the previous call.

I hope Dean sees through it.

Though it's so Buckleming-y I don't think people should be mad if he doesn't because this was them doing a smart!Dean episode.

PFFT of course they team up - colonialism from all sorts of fun angles!! The ultimate trashy white guys in suits team up.

Thanks Buckleming!

Man, I need a whole pot of detox tea now. I don't even have closing thoughts.

#13x07 #my stuff #season 13 spoilers #buckleming appropriate wank for ts #*quietly lies face down on the floor*

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wannawrite · 7 years

Text

Melting Of The Ice Cream Girl [ pt.2 ]

PD101 / MXM’s Im Youngmin X Reader [fem ver] part one TW: use of vulgar language, mild violence i think… better to put these up anyway Fluff, mild angst bullet-point ver. [ scenario ver. : coming soon ] • some stuff happens that makes you go all ICE princess where is ice cream girl • your stare could freeze Youngmin • can Youngmin still melt you? oMGgg guys idk what’s wrong with me i’m on a roll right now but i literally re-read part one and got super happy after that like it didn’t even feel like I wrote it okay bye buT yAY IM SO HAPPY YOU LOVE IT ANON I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS ONE TOO EVEN THOUGH I’M BAD AT WRITING ANGST gOD BLESS - admin L PS: sorry but scenario ver. might take a long time :((( ___________ • it’s pretty awkward still • you can’t stop blushing • Youngmin can’t stop talking to you • and chuckling when you barely nod out a reply • your face is like a tomato • what is a regular heartbeat anymore? • Youngmin’s so perfect you can’t even breathe the same air as him it isn’t possible • but he seems happy sharing the same table as you • as much as his sunbae + chaebol™ clique is yelling for him and Donghyun to return to them • they stay rooted to their seats • and somehow it makes you really happy on the inside • but on the outside, it looks as if your glare can get hell to freeze over • you try to get Woojin or Daewhi’s help but they’re so engrossed in conversation about something personal with Donghyun • that Youngmin feels that he shouldn’t interfere with because he isn’t interrupting • he’s just admiring your face and picking at his fries • also trying to start a conversation with you • at least he’s trying and you really appreciate it

• suddenly you have this nudge of confidence and you blurt out • ‘you’re in the same mathematics class as Mina, aren’t you, oppa?’ • deadass Youngmin’s pupils dilate when you call him that • moVING ON • he smiles and nods his head • ‘yeah i know mina, she’s cool. we actually sit next to each other in class.’ • then silence • … • *crickets chirping* • ‘yo Y/N why don’t you tell Youngmin and Donghyun about the game you created’ • oh god Woojin why • your best friends are grinning smugly at you • the focus shifts to you • ‘uh…uh, it’s nothing much really…’ you try to avoid it • but the hopeful and interested look on Youngmin’s face makes you give in • ‘It’s like…idk what we call it but for now, we call it mall hide and seek’ ( made up game by yours truly™ ) • so like hide and seek but across the whole mall and you can text clues and whatnot • Youngmin and Donghyun want to play • sunbae + chaebol™ clique hears and joins in as well • resulting in your face resembling a tomato • one of the boys in the clique makes fun of your blushing face • 'yah! don’t laugh at her like that, it’s rude of you.’ Youngmin defends • yOU aRE SHocKED • diD MY CRUSH JUST DO THAT ??? • uHM YES SIS HE DID • 'oh, it’s okay….’ • 'but thank you Youngmin’ • oKAY HIS ENTIRE FACE LIGHTS UP • hE’s SUDDENLY GLOWING • and that makes you crack a smile • even though it’s a tiny one • you guys get up to leave • and Youngmin refuses to leave your side for some reason but you don’t really care • because • who would? He’s Im Youngmin • you’re blessed if he approaches you • and he’s your crush so • you guys start playing • and Youngmin decides to hide in the supermarket • so you find yourself squashed in the tissue paper section with a laughing Im Youngmin • he doubts the finders would ever search in behind a wall of tissue boxes • thank god no one reports ya’ll • you’re giggling so hard it kinda unlocks your crazier side • you feel like you can reveal a bit of your true self to Youngmin • he seems trustworthy • suddenly your phone chimes • your mum needs you to buy some spices • sighing reluctantly, you emerge from your hiding spot and Youngmin follows you • you try to push him back since Woojin and Sewoon have already found Donghyun, Samuel and Kenta • skillz™ • but he’s like 'no i can’t leave you, we hide together, we die together’ • even though it’s possibly the dumbest thing he has ever said, your heart flutters uncontrollably • you roll your eyes but grabs his hand and drags him along • Youngmin is sHOokeTH • shES HOLDING MY HAND OH MY GODDHDKSHSKDB • you don’t even realise because skinship is such a common thing with your friends • Youngmin is about to faint from happiness • he can die happy • you grab a basket and start searching for things from the list • surprisingly, Youngmin takes and interest and also helps you to get things • he also tells you about how his parents use roughly the same types of herbs • also helps you reach the top shelf if you can’t • just looking like a domestic couple • newly weds • like the wholesome couple just grocery shopping together • you find yourself enjoying it so much you don’t feel as if Youngmin is a acquaintance • he asks for your number • and you two chat a lot as you’re grabbing items • when your just finishing at the cashier • Jung Sewoon, a member of the sunbae + chaebol™ clique spots you two • 'there!’ • you hastily thank the cashier and make a run for it • grabbing Youngmin’s hand and your stuff of course • you manage to outrun the school’s star tracker, Takada Kenta • 'yo dude, let’s let them go to the rooftop and do romantic shit before ambushing them’ • 'do you guys want bubble tea?’ • 'i bet Youngmin’s going to kiss her first’ • Samuel loses the bet • you guys are up on the rooftop sky garden • how romantic • you guys out breath and struggling to catch it while doubling over in laughter • 'did we lose them?’ Youngmin asks • 'i thinks we did’ you reply, giggling • 'you’re crazy, Y/N. I love it’ he says • you’re caught off guard but recovers quickly • nOW OR NEVER Y/N • you pull him close by his fancy as tie bc he’s a sunbae + chaebol and loves dressing up • tip-toeing • 'then i suppose you’ll love this’ • before you can back out, you press your lips to his • hE IS STUNNED • you break away but he pulls you back in to kiss you more • honestly, you don’t know what you guys are but you know the feeling is mutual • you do go home with a heavy heart after he doesn’t say anything about a future relationship • at least he was your first kiss • but you’re absolutely crushed when Youngmin arrives to school in his fancy ass car on Monday • he isn’t alone • it’s like a scene in a drama • and this pretty, tall, rich girl steps out on the other side • you were halfway done the steps to meet him but you just turn around and storm the other way • your temper has been tested • 'you don’t want to mess with Y/N, she’ll ice you to death’ • you’re mad, why? • Youngmin can’t make out with you on Friday but come to school with another girl on Monday • what’s worse? you spent the whole weekend texting him • he was behaving super sweet and lovey dovey • clearly interested • and now…. • they aren’t related • so she’s a competition • she’s his dad’s boss’s daughter who transferred schools halfway through Sophomore year • she isn’t in any of your classes but she seems like a fairly pleasant person • Hyemi and Mina aren’t having it either, since they know about your little incident • you can’t even look at Youngmin • he’s confused when you don’t return the smile or wave • i guess she never really liked me ??? • lol son im sorry but u dumb • ( yOungmIN SWEETIE IM SORRY IM DOING YOU SO DIRTY RIGHT NOW ) • he asks about you in math class but Mina just shrugs in response • it continues for a week • you can’t exactly kick the poor innocent girl out of school can you? • but she seems to want to extend her 15 seconds of new girl fame • she goes around bragging about how she and suuupppeerr close • 'oh! we were just in his room watching a movie yesterday’ she says to her little group of Freshman fangirls • 'did you two cuddle?’ one of them pipes up, eyes wide • 'yupp! we live in the same house for now so we’re super close. the mansion is huge.’ • basically, she’s trying to brag about being Youngmin’s friend • Kenta told you that Youngmin’s only nice to her because she’s like his annoying little sister and his dad would have his head if he isn’t • you hold you temper but one day • she’s just sitting there in the canteen outrightly insulting Samuel for being the 'poorest’ in the sunbae + chaebol™ squad and being mixed • ( i fcking love samuel how dare you not like him just bc he’s mixed im mixed too wtf wtf wtf i still don’t understand ) • you just about beat Donghyun to confrontation • 'it’s funny how you laugh at others for small things like that but you don’t even have enough money for your own house,“ you hiss even though it’s a really low jab to take at her • you have 0 chill when it comes to your friends, even though Samuel isn’t the closest • the Sophomore pushes out her chair and stands up to meet your eye but she’s still shorter than you • 'eXCuSE mE?’ • 'you heard me. you talk shit about Samuel yet you’re living off the Im family.’ • the Sophomore bitch shoves you as hard as she can but you barely wavers • 'LIsTEN! I cAN taLK abOut whOEVER i waNt tO. SamUEL DOESN’t belONG iN thAT cLiqUe. WhO tF dO yOU tHiNK YOu ARe?’ • you scoff, mildly amused by this Sophomore • 'someone Youngmin oppa actually likes’ • she screams so shrilly it causes your ears to bleed before lifting her hand • you catch it before Hyemi and Mina can interfere • leaning to her ear, 'you have no right to look down on someone just because of their social status or because of their race.’ • 'it was joke’ she whimpers out as your grip on her tightens • 'there’s a fine line making a joke and being a bitch but I guess you’re both’ you spit, releasing her arm • she tries to shove you again ??? lololol this girl issa joke • suddenly, you’re wretched away • Youngmin storms out of the canteen but before he can, you yank your hand out of his grasp, glowering at him • 'you don’t deserve me!’ you yell, anger bubbling over • he’s speechless but you still follow him to the bleachers in the gymnasium • there’s a really long and bitter silence • 'thanks…on behalf of Samuel, you didn’t need to….Donghyun would’ve-’ • 'Samuel’s my friend, of course I should have’ you cut off, 'what do you want anyway? i need to go.’ • Youngmin catches your arm as you turn to leave, 'why are you ignoring me? what did I do?’ • you raise your eyebrows at him in disbelief, 'Im Youngmin, you are one of the smartest students in this school. you should know what you did’ • he shakes his head and hangs it in shame • 'i don’t know? how about…making out with me on Friday, texting me all weekend just like a boyfriend would but showing up on Monday with a girl and not denying any of the shit she’s spewing? i don’t even know anymore’ • he’s apologising countlessly but you don’t even know anymore • you’re out off the gymnasium before he can catch you again … • it’s been another week since that entire fiasco and everything has settled down since then • Samuel won’t get over the fact that you stuck up for him and nearly got suspended • Sophomore did get suspended because she initiated the fight • you ignored Youngmin the whole time as much as your heart ached and as much as you cried but it was too mentally pressing to try to keep up with a guy like him • one day, a letter falls out of your locker when you open it • it’s from your alpaca boy • 'y/n, i’m sorry. hear me out, we can make this work. 3 pm, basketball courts’ • Hyemi and Mina caution you, even Woojin and Daewhi are skeptical but you’re at the basketball courts at precisely 3 pm • Youngmin’s already waiting for you on one of the benches, he smiles - which you can’t return - and gestures for you to come closer • 'i’m sorry i behaved like that. i had a lot going on, believe me when I say I argued with my parents for an hour when they told me about…Anna’s arrival. it was unexpected and I didn’t exactly like her.’ he sighed 'i guess i really f*cked with you without even realising. I’m sorry. I should have made things clear from the start to her. I’m sorry I played with your emotions and that she said such things.’ • 'what did you want to make clear?’ you prodded, hope rising in your chest • Youngmin’s eyes met your own and his hand enclosed yours, beaming. 'that I want to be with you, because I like you’ • you’re elated but at the same time, you can’t accept how things are • 'I-I’ll have to… think about it…with all that’s happened,’ you stammer • the smile on his face falls but he nods understandingly • 'I understand. I’m willing to wait for you.’ • your answer isn’t immediate and Youngmin got pushed to the greatest lengths to try to win you back • he really isn’t giving up • honestly, you’re touched he’s courting you for so long • it was entertaining for his clique and yours which had bonded together to form one power squad • eventually, you fall for his advances once again • you’re truly an ice cream girl • sweet, crazy, cold and sticks to Youngmin’s lips • it isn’t like he’s complaining

#admin L #im youngmin #MXM #produce 101 #produce 101 scenarios #kim donghyun #MXM scenarios #BNM #bnm boys #bnm trainees

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h-styles-babes · 7 years

Text

No Control | Chapter Twenty-Six

Summary:

Micky Bennett: college student, loyal friend, aspiring nurse, One Direction fan, Harry Styles enthusiast. Her best friend, Trevor, wins tickets to a show in New Jersey with meet and greet passes. Micky expects a quick photo op with the boys and a great night at the concert with her best friend. What she gets a whole lot more than she bargained for.

To read previous chapters, you can go here.

*Please feel free to reblog and send feedback. It’s much appreciated :)*

*Gif is not mine.*

A/N: honestly, I’m not the biggest fan of this chapter, until the very end, so be nice, please lol. Next chapter will pick up, however.

TWENTY-SIX

When we land in Manchester, and I can’t help the anxiousness I feel wash over me. I told my parents I was coming, since Harry and I were going to be staying in the house for the night before driving down to Holmes Chapel the next day. It’s already late evening when we arrive, and Harry and I are in a weird state of exhaustion from traveling but also alertness from having gotten a bit of sleep on the plane on the way over. We’re mostly silent on the short drive from the airport to my parents’ home. Harry had someone drop his Range Rover off at the airport before we landed so we’d be able to drive ourselves around this weekend as opposed to calling cabs or renting a vehicle.

My mum is stood in the doorway of my childhood home when we get there, the light from inside the house illuminating her from behind. I can see she’s in a pretty thick jumper to keep out the chill that’s settled over the night. The display in Harry’s car read that it’s only about five degrees now from the lack of sunlight, and I can feel it as I step out of his toasty cab.

Mum is by my side in an instant in her house slippers, wrapping her arms around me and enveloping me in her sunshine scent. I hug her back tightly, only letting her go when I see Harry come from the back, having gotten our bags.

“Oh, Micky, baby. How was your flight?” she asks. Her hands immediately drift down to the bump that’s well concealed and very cozy under my jumper. She smiles as she runs her hands over her grandchild. I haven’t seen my mother since the holidays, and it’s definitely gotten much bigger in that time.

“Good. Long, but uneventful. Got to fly first class,” I grin, wiggling my eyebrows.

My mother’s smile dims a bit when she looks at Harry, but I can tell she’s still trying to be polite. My family was obviously quite furious with the situation I found myself in last year, putting a lot of the blame on Harry. I had warned them to be nice when we came, since he was the reason that I was able to come out at all. They agreed, especially when I told them there was stuff that they didn’t know that I would explain to them later. Knowing all I knew now would help in clearing the air, as well. I hope they can be civil long enough for me to get them alone to give them all the details. It would be nice to raise my daughter without her grandparents hating her father.

“Harry, sweetie,” she greets, a hint of warmth for the man she once welcomed so fully into her home still present. I’m glad she hasn’t gone completely cold on him. “How are you, dear?”

“I’m doing alright,” he nods, accepting her kiss on the cheek.

Mum smiles a bit sympathetically, noticing the same somber tones I hear in his voice. She places a comforting squeeze to his shoulder. “Bit of a shock, yeah?”

Harry breathes out a humorless chuckle. “Yeah, a bit.”

“We’ll all work it out, dear. Babies are to be celebrated. Once everyone’s settled, I’m sure it’ll all feel better.”

The words linger in the air between us all as Harry nods. I don’t know if it’s from the cold or what, but I swear I see tears glimmering in Harry’s eyes. He sniffles a bit and turns his head into his shoulder, both his hands full with our bags.

“Let’s get inside, dears,” my mum announces, wrapping her hand around Harry’s waist and taking one of the bags. “Gonna catch a cold out here. You lot want some tea? Just made a cuppa for Vinny and me. Pot’s still hot.”

I smile at my mum’s back as I trail behind her and Harry, who walk linked together into the house. She’s so lovely for accepting Harry back so easily even though I know there’s still probably a lot of anger she harbors toward him. And it’s amazing knowing she trusts me enough to accept my word that the situation with Harry isn’t as it seems.

Can only hope it goes as smoothly with my dad.

Mum drags me into the kitchen after leaving Harry and my father in the sitting room, awkwardly looking at each other. Harry’s eyes are still a bit watery—I’m still not quite sure from what—and he was kind of obsessively clearing his throat when my mother pulled me away. I’m a little scared to leave them alone together, because my dad may be nice, but he’s a bit more hardened than Mum. I can only imagine the glares he’s shooting Harry’s way.

“Should we really be leaving them alone?” I ask as soon as the door has swung shut behind us.

Mum goes about getting out more mugs and a couple more teabags. I can still see the steam rising out of the lip of the tea kettle, so I know the water is still going to be hot enough to steep the leaves properly. Mum’s never been one to make a shit cup of tea, and I was hoping she wasn’t going to start now.

She chuckles and glances at me over her shoulder as she pours water. “You’re dad’s not gonna do anything rash, darling. Maybe just scare him a bit.”

“You think he’s not scared enough as it is?” I ask. “He got told a week ago that he’s gonna be a dad. I’d be shitting my pants if I were him. He doesn’t need Dad compounding that.”

“Well, if you would tell us what all’s been going on lately, maybe we’d be able to be nice again,” she suggests. “I’ll tell you tomorrow before we leave,” I promise. “Just know that things are a lot less on either of us than I first thought.”

“What do you mean by that?” she asks, obviously confused by my cryptic wording.

I sigh. “Harry’s old management are a conspiracy theory come to life, basically.”

“They kept you from talking to each other, didn’t they?” For my mother being a grown woman with a life of her own, she sure knew way more about that general discourse within the One Direction fandom than the average person. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised to find out that she’s had a secret Tumblr fan account this entire time. That’s how big of a fangirl she is.

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“Pricks. If I ever see Simon Cowell, I’m gonna beat his arse.”

“Don’t get thrown in jail, Mum. You’re too pretty for those awful jumpsuits.” She smiles at me as she hands me my mug. “Thank you, darling. Now let’s go rescue the lad, shall we?”

The scene we walk into is not as bad as I was imagining it would be. Harry’s sitting stiffly on the couch adjacent to the chair that my father’s sitting in, and my dad’s giving him a sort of steely look that I know looks intimidating to the unknowing person. I know my father, though, and he’s all bark and no bite when it comes to his intimidation tactics. I think I’ve heard my father properly raise his voice at me only a handful of times in my entire life, and it had been more out of fear than anger. And I know in this situation, my father’s more fearful as well. He’s afraid of me getting hurt further and he’s afraid of Harry letting us down. I want to ease his fears, and I’m hoping Harry and I can both take the time to do so.

Mum hands Harry his mug of tea and he thanks her softly. He’s smaller in demeanor than I’ve ever seen him, his shoulders curled inward so he’s taking up as little space as possible, and his socked feet tucked close to the couch instead of how he’d usually allow his long legs to spread out or have his ankle crossed over the opposite knee. He keeps his elbows close to his sides as he cradles the mug in his hands, his rings clinking against the ceramic. The expression on his face is somber and a little shaken, if I’m reading him correctly. I wonder what he’s thinking, but I don’t think it’s appropriate to ask with my parents’ nearby. I make a mental note to ask him later.

“So how've you been, Harry?” my mum asks as she settles into the chair opposite my dad. I take a seat next to Harry on the sofa, though I place myself at the other end of it, not wanting to encroach upon his space if he needs it, which he looks like he does. I’ve never seen him look so withdrawn, and I kind of want to cuddle him and reassure him that it’s going to be okay. I don’t really have that position in his life anymore, though, so I’ll maintain my distance until he asks me otherwise.

Harry takes a sip of his tea before answering. “Just enjoying my time off for now. Catching up with friends and spending time with my family, mostly. Figuring out what my next steps are career-wise.”

“You’ve got bigger things to figure out now, don’t you?” Dad asks, his voice a bit hostile and very obviously condescending.

“Dad,” I warn, throwing him a glare over the edge of my cup.

He gives me a, “What did I do?” face, which I roll my eyes at. Play innocent all he wants, I know he’s aware of exactly what he’s done.

“Uh…” Harry trails, looking between me and my parents, his brows furrowed. He’s taken to wiping one hand nervously against the thigh of his jeans, and I can see his knee starting to twitch, only a short moment away from a nervous bounce. “Yeah, I do. Micky and I have been working on it.”

“Dad, I told you to trust me. Leave Harry alone. We’re adults; we’re figuring it out.”

“You’re my daughter, Mick. It’s my job to look out for you, love,” he argues, his features softening.

“And I appreciate it,” I nod, giving him a smile. “But I’m dealing with my own problems. Harry and I aren’t clueless teenagers who have to rely on our parents for everything.”

“Doesn’t mean I’m not still worried about you two.”

“I get that. But have a little faith, yeah? I’ve got this.”

“Mick—”

“Leave them alone, Vinny,” my mum demands, giving him a look that he bows down to every time. It’s usually funny to witness, but no one’s laughing in this situation. “Got to trust them when they say they’re figuring it out. Our job is to support them and offer help when they need it, not question their decisions.” Dad heaves a sigh. There’s a few beats of silence where my parents just look at each other, seemingly having a silent conversation between each other while Harry and I pretend not to watch on.

I can feel the nerves coming off of Harry in waves still, and I’m not really surprised when he reaches over and gently pulls me closer to him by the hand. Knowing he doesn’t want to get too touchy when we’re around my parents, who would definitely get the wrong ideas, I’m not offended when he slides his hand into mine, my hand curled around just his fingers. He takes to running his thumb along all my knuckles, slowing when he comes into contact with the tiara ring on my middle finger. I give a gentle squeeze to his fingers as I glance up at him.

“You okay?” I mouth.

Harry takes a deep breath through his nose before nodding once. “Will be,” he mouths back. The smile he offers is sad and doesn’t even begin to reach his eyes, also something I’ve never seen from him before. Prior to this, I hadn’t realized exactly how heavy this whole thing had been weighing on his shoulders. I have a feeling that when I first told him that his body immediately started running on adrenaline, so he had no chance to actually think of all the implications this situation has. Now that there’s been some time for the shock to wear off actual deep thought has come into play, he seems to be freaking out. I completely understand the reaction, but he needs to get through it sooner rather than later. There’s really not all that much time before our baby will be here.

I’m hoping the visit with his mum tomorrow will help to ease his fears, at least a little bit.

Harry heads to bed first that night, having not gotten as much sleep as me on the plane. I’m sure the emotional turmoil he’s been through recently doesn’t help his exhaustion either, so I set him up in Tommy’s old room—thanking whatever entity is looking over me that Tommy had to work tonight and didn’t drop by for a visit.

“Your parents hate me,” Harry sighs as he unbuttons his shirt.

I’ve been making sure there’s no questionable items around the room that Tommy may have left behind, so I stop and look at Harry. “They don’t hate you, Harry. They just don’t know everything. They’re still working on their perceived notions of what happened.”

“Are you gonna tell them?” he asks. He pulls on a plain t-shirt before bending to take off his socks.

“Yeah. It’ll ease the hostility coming from my dad.”

“You’re mum seems surprisingly at ease,” he comments, his fingers going to the buttons of his jeans.

I purse my lips as I see him begin to undo his fly and very pointedly look only at his face. I don’t think I can take looking at Harry in his pants right now. I haven’t had sex since I last saw him, and pregnancy has made me more horny than usual. Harry shirtless seems to be a pretty regular occurrence, so I’ve become a bit desensitized, but Harry in only boxers, where the outline of his cock is more prominent than it is in his jeans, is something I can’t deal with in my current state.

“My mum’s smart and realized something fishy was going on outside of the two of us. I don’t think my dad realizes a lot of your life was out of your control.” Harry nods and I realize he’s not going to pull on any joggers or shorts or anything, so I move to leave the room before I get embarrassingly flustered. “I’ll talk with them, though. Goodnight, Harry.”

I see the puzzled look on Harry’s face briefly as I make my way out the door. Just before I close it, I hear him call back a soft goodnight. I heave a sigh as I stand in the hallway outside of the room for a moment, gathering myself. I can hear my parents talking in quiet tones in the kitchen, so I head down there, hoping to catch them for a chat before they head to bed. It’s the weekend, but my parents like to keep up their routines.

My mum sees me standing in the doorway first, which draws my dad’s attention. He begins apologizing for scaring Harry and being a bit hostile, but I tell him it’s fine. I jump right into explaining what Harry and I discussed on the plane, making it clear to my dad that Harry didn’t just drop me for the sake of dropping me. While he’s not pleased Harry didn’t try to at least come by the house to get ahold of me, he understands that his management are really the ones to blame. I admit that I thought that Harry could have got to my parents to get to me, but then I realized I could have done the same to get to him, but that would have been entirely out of bounds and, not to mention, really weird for either of us.

Dad promises to ease up on Harry and not make his experience of this pregnancy a more traumatizing experience than it already has been. It’s not really going to get any easier, and he’s had less time to get use to the idea than the rest of us.

I tell them that we’re leaving for Holmes Chapel in the morning to have breakfast with Harry’s family, Gemma having come in from London to visit her brother for the weekend. I’m obviously really nervous about being there, since I haven’t seen any of them since August and Gemma already didn’t like me. Having to go see Harry’s family is giving me a taste of what Harry went through today, and the heavy feeling in my stomach is not something I’m okay with in the least.

Harry

I’m awake at five the next morning from the jet lag and how early I went to bed the night before. The room is grey, and it’s a little strange to be waking up in someone else’s bed without Micky in it with me. The last time I was here, I shared a room with her, and I got used to the feeling of having her in my arms as we slept, her warm little body pressed against mine, her soft little breaths puffing out against my collar bones from where she had her face buried against my chest. I smile at the memory, rubbing my fingers over the area like I can feel the presence of her against me again.

The memory is a fond one and something I wouldn’t mind experiencing again, but a bitterness settles over me when I realize I’ll probably never get to feel that again. Micky was never officially my girlfriend, but she’s the closest thing to it that I’ve had in years, and I would have been happy making it official once I was done touring. Losing contact with her had hurt and left a bit of sting in my chest any time I thought of her or her name was mentioned. Now that she’s pregnant, though, and we left things the way we did—despite that not being our faults—I don’t think we’ll ever be in a place where we can be like we were last year.

While Micky still seems relatively comfortable around me, I can’t imagine her ever wanting anything more between us than co-parenting. If I were her, I’d never want anything more to do with me than that. I can’t help that I’m still head over heels for her, though. Mick and I burned bright and hot so quickly, and I’ve never been able to move past that, pathetically enough. I know I’ll be able to raise a kid with her without ever pushing my feelings onto her, but it’s going to be a long lifetime.

I lay in the bed for a long time, watching the sun slowly come up before being quickly covered by clouds. Around half six I get up and go to take a shower before anyone else gets up so I’m not in anyone’s way. Mick and I have planned to leave at around eight in order to get to my mum’s house in time for breakfast. Mum promised me banana pancakes, which I’d usually be all over, but my stomach is twisting so hard with nerves that no food sounds appealing. I’ve never been so anxious in my life to tell my mother something. I’ve never had something so big to tell her, and I have the type of relationship with my mum where I told her about the first time I had sex nearly immediately after it happened. She’d been as cool about it as any mother with a fifteen year old son having sex with his girlfriend could be, but having sex with a girl you dated for months and getting a girl you dated for a week pregnant are two very different things. Even though we’re much older and independent adults, telling my mum she’s going to be a gran in a few months makes me nauseous.

When I walk out of the bathroom, I nearly run straight into Micky, who’s standing outside her bedroom door, rubbing tiredly at her eyes with her fingers. She peeks one eye open at me and squeaks when she realizes I’m standing in front of her. I’ve only got a towel around my waist, since Tommy’s room and the bathroom are just across the hallway from each other. I give her a soft smile when her eyes dart up to mine, her cheeks suddenly red.

“Morning,” I greet, moving to go back to the room to change.

“Morning,” she reciprocates in a choked voice. I figure she’s still tired and sleep-ridden, so I don’t question it. She clears her throat and blinks before opening both eyes. “Gonna shower and get dressed, then we can go.”

I nod. “Sounds good. See ya in a bit.”

I wrap the towel in my hair once I click the lock behind me and go about getting ready for the day. It’s supposed to be just as cold today as it was yesterday, so pull a jumper over a t-shirt and step into a pair of blue jeans. I brush my hair, grimacing a bit at the knots I encounter. I know I need to get it cut—it’s been a good while since I’ve had a proper one—but I’m planning on donating it when it gets long enough, so I’ve got to wait it out.

I make sure all my things are packed away in my bag before heading downstairs. From what I heard, Micky only took a short shower, so I’m not surprised when I see her standing in the kitchen beside her mother. Cindy’s got a soft smile on her face and one hand pressed to Micky’s stomach, Micky’s hand on top of her’s. By Micky’s giggle, I can tell that the baby is moving around. I want to go over and join; there’s something so amazing about feeling a baby moving within their safe little home, and when it’s your own baby, there’s something even more surreal and heartwarming about it. I don’t want to intrude on the moment, though, so I hang back, letting my bag fall softly to the floor by the island.

Micky looks up at me and smiles. “Come here. She’s going crazy in there.” She reaches her hand out and beckons me over, and when I get close enough, she takes my hand in her’s and presses it to a spot right by her mum’s.

As soon as I apply a little pressure, I can feel the rolling movements along with the sharp nudges against Micky’s skin. I can’t help the smile tugging my lips up, and I look at Micky as I feel her eyes on me. She’s smiling brightly at me, a sort of reassurance in her gaze that is trying to tell me that everything’s going to be okay.

TWENTY-SEVEN

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #one direction #No Control #harry styles fanfic #dad!harry

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suggers-got-dingled · 6 years

Note

hey bridie we got thru the birth/death of robrence ! once this awful robecca nonsense is over and his schemes are revealed well get the good stuff ie rob getting dragged by lucky and left a broken mess. I cant deny I h8 all the seb and rob scenes I just cant see past how much its hurting aaron and even tho I don't belive hes staying I couldn't accept him as theirs as aaron was tortured with his childhood abuse and SH over this and he will always be bex son whether shes here or not. Just bring on

(2) xmas and Katie as a ghost I cannot wait. Even tho its not that long to go I still find waiting till jan for the whites to sod off too long the only good part is seeing lucky in the attic and then losing the plot tom deserves a good exit. lets hope we get some more good spoilers soon or leaked videos theyre the only thing helping with this hell plot. Overdramtic Anon x

(3) Wow I can’t wait to erase 2017 from my memory it’s just been the whole kitchen sink of misery @ robron and us. Hopefully next weds scenes will be something we can hold onto until my monoshipper self is tested with aaron and the doctor 2.0 (WHY 😫) I just want RJS to near flatline and be in a coma why is that so much to ask for and attic boy seems like it leads to nothing I’m trying to stay positive but dear god it’s so hard these days 😢 Overdramtic Anon x

MY FAVOURITE ANON ❤️❤️

I’m sorry I’ve been absolutely useless at replying this week

…I may have not had time or I may just be recovering from robrence, on top of contending with the latest spoilers and a fresh void of monoshipper hell

I guess we’ll never know 😉

(but that’s why I’ve attached all your messages into one to reply in bulk, makes it easier for little old me who is an absolute expert in procrastinating but not getting on track with workload in and out of fandom life)

anyway, update: attic boy is rather humorous but could have had so much more potential… like fine spy on ur family through a hole you’ve drilled bc the vents just weren’t fulfilling enough, and sit back chilling with a satisfied smirk as ur mum breaks down like the sick fuck u are but like couldn’t u have uncovered the secret we all want to know???? pfft disappointed

and you know what else I’m disappointed by?? EVERYTHING Robert and the whites, and EVERYTHING Robert and Seb!!

LITERALLY JUST EVERYTHING

I HATE IT ALL AND I’M SO DISGRUNTLED

I thought I’d warm to it but wow no I can’t connect to this doting dad act because it feels flat and forced and pretty pointless and whenever he’s talking about his ~~boy to Aaron it literally makes me want to throw myself through a window

(seriously it’s ruining the enthusiasm I have for robron scenes I’m all hyped up and can muse on the little moments they have together and then I’m dropped down right to the bottom when the vibe is literally killed)

the sooner Christmas arrives the goddamn better!!! it literally feels like we’re on a continuous loop of pain and discomfort and I’m not one to wish my life away but if robbo could hurry up and have his near death awakening and January hurry up and move in then that would be fabulous for the sake of everyone’s good health

I’m sending plenty of hugs and prayer circles for the next couple of weeks! it’ll hurt for sure but we’ve got past it before and we’ll do it again

I think it proves something when we’re all still here you know!! we’re made of absolute steel even the big bad wolf couldn’t blow our house down

DECEMBER IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER

we have week commencing the 4th to ride out (lets hope Aaron isn’t riding Alex out lol bad joke I couldn’t help myself) and I’m always here if you want to remember the robron first kiss 3rd anniversary instead of having to watch Aaron k*ss someone else but his soulmate

it’s all about those priorities

gotta whip out those coping mechanisms until we’re put out of our misery 😌

#that's my motto #long post #ask #over dramatic anon talk #Anonymous

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fat-highlander · 5 years

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Week 5: The Hills Have Fries

First blog in a couple weeks, apologies for the few that read this (why do you read this? lol). So no SW action last week. Unfortunately I did myself an injury. While walking home from a fantastic Sunday being the greatest father to my daughter, the best husband to my wife, we were jumped and attacked! BY NINJAS! 5 of the bastards. I singled handily dispatched my foes but in doing so, sprained my wrist….alright that never happened but it sounds so much better than a grown up 33 year old adult falling out the damn bed. And lets just swiftly move away from other wrist based activities that would induce a sprain, had enough of that at work thank you (no idea why my predominately male work colleagues are so fascinated to imagine my wrist spraining happening to some violent masturbatory act, but there you go, learn something new every day). So it was a sprain and lack of sleep meant I didn’ t go to SW that evening. A move that would later prove pretty f*ckn dire!!!

The previous week had been a good one, riding the high of a 2.5lb loss on Monday I flew through the week pretty well behaved. There was one or two treats here and there but my good behaviour was kicking the ass out of the treats and I was ending up with plenty syns to spare. Bread patrol was in force, despite the awkward eye contact me frequently made in the kitchen. We even did the SW pizza recipe using the Weight Watchers tortillas as a base, I really enjoyed them and would recommend. Hey it’s never going to match pizza, but I ended up folding the pieces and it turned into a form of pizza filled taco/burrito thing, soo good!!

Even the weekend wasn’t as bad as it usually is, there was alcohol yes, but not in the same quantities as usual. Additionally with the wife working most the weekend I was left by myself to for feeding, so I made the effort to be on target with my meals! Meals where meat heavy, but veg too! Mon the speed!

Then Monday came, the spraining and tiredness from lack of sleep cause by painful wrist. No work Monday, told to rest up after getting it all checked out. A day in the house turned into snacking on bad stuff, already losing the battle! That evening while SW class was happening, the wife was at work, I got talked into a beach walk by my neighbour. Now I know what you’re thinking, FSB, beach walking is surely good. Bit of exercise, bit of body magic! Naaaah. Only thing that was worked on there was 4 cans of bear and crisps!!!!! Felt like I was cheating on my diet wife (that being class, I only have one wife I swear!! Two would kill me). It was a fun evening and chilled, but on reflection when I got home, just felt like a waste. And sadly from here onwards it didn’t get better.

Work life on my return on Tuesday was proving difficult. Lots of stress happening, easy access to Tunnock biscuits (will explain this at the end) and just the over all feeling of who gives a sheeeet. I can’t even remember specific points apart from Friday, once again the doorway to hedonism! Care free attitude, catering all sort of devious delights for my weak soul. Friday was payday for lots of people, including ones self. So that meant my work colleagues flouting the radical idea of PIZZA FOR LUNCH!!!! Dominos do a lunch time deal, 6 quid for a pizza any size, when 3 are bought. These demons, toying with the heart strings of fat b*stards up and down this country. So yeah, it happened, a ham and mushroom large pizza with that garlic dip. That garlic dip along is like, 60 thousand syns!!!! So we’re off to a bloody good start here.

Friday night, can’t remember what was had, guaranteed not friendly. I think it might have been burger rolls, but not friendly SW burgers, some of the co-ops finest fat burgers haha. And Friday night, whiskey. I won’t bore with the rest of the weekend, it’s as much a shambles as Friday and ended much the same way, piling on the pounds with pointlessness.

Monday came and I knew it was going to be a gain, still I went. I needed to hear it and see if because, damn I need to change this up. I think back on the times I’ve done SW, one of my first ventures there was after a New Years Eve bet with my mum in law, we had a holiday booked at the end of May and they (mum in law, wife and sis in law) were planning on losing a few pounds for it. I wagered I could do this too, and I did. It was my most successful run at SW, losing about 6 stone from January to May. That’s where I need to be, that focus is needed again. A quick word of warning, the next few lines might seem a little less light hearted than normal lol.

The past few weeks have been slightly darker ones for me. Not that it’s needs to be an excuse for not trying to follow a diet, but it doesn’t help and causes triggers. There’s lots of us out there that after having a bad day, you want that bit of chocolate. I’ve just taken that a little too much to the extreme. I do have outlets for these things, I have family which maybe I don’t talk to as much as I should about these things. But I do have an amazing family on my wife’s side who are quite often there for me more than anyone else and despite my mega gains (and talking, wtf crazy gains here) they’re are still behind me to encourage me to stick at this, which I’m forever grateful for (especially mum in law, she scary sometimes!!! lol). This is probably why I’m still at this, not only do I want to lose the weight, I don’t want to let those down who believe I can do this.

Okay hopefully this one hasn’t been too depressing, I’m trying to get back into a better mind set and focus. There’s a few things helping, music always does and I’ve been enjoying picking up the guitar again and of course, I’m pretty much always listening to something.

Before I sign off, The Tunnocks Products mentioned earlier. So a few months back the CEO and MD of the company I work for were at a charity bash (as they quite often are, life of the rich eh) and they entered a silent auction. The prize of said auction, a supply of Tunnock’s delights the same as the combined weight of both of them. So they only went and won it, and distributed the supply over the 3 sites of the company up and down the country. This turn out to be approx. 6 stones worth of biscuit. So these have been readily available as and when we want in the kitchen of my office, NO WONDER THIS HAS BEEN SO HARD!!!! They have finally all been eaten now though, I bet my weight just melts away now haha!!

Focus for this week - Continue with Water. ZERO ALCOHOL FFS!! More speed!!

#cakes #tunnocks #spelling mistakes #funny #humour #cooking #recipes #music heals #depression #sarcasm #fat #salad #dieting #diet #slimming world

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finn-nelson-for-the-win · 7 years

Text

Changing Priority- Chapter 11

Yup, you read that correctly: MY FANFIC FINALLY HAS A TITLE! I’m still gonna title each chapter, obviously, but I felt like after 10 chapters of this story, it deserved a proper title and after wracking my brain for the longest time, I decided on this one for a number of different reasons.

With that being said, in this next part Rae actually has a social life and does some fun stuff instead of just working/pining after boys/drinking alone (well she does all of that still, I suppose, so perhaps “in addition to” is more fitting than “instead of”) and she has a very event filled first week of the new year...so eventful in fact, that this week will be depicted in two separate posts, just because I don't want to delay posting what I already have done any longer than I already have. If you wanna relive the 10 chapters leading up to where we are now, look no further!

I hope you all enjoy this chapter and I look forward to hearing what you all have to say about it!

With a Little Help from My Friends: Part 1

After spending the majority of Saturday cleaning her apartment from top to bottom, Rae finally had a spare moment to relax and she decided that she deserved a long, hot shower. With the shower running and the water approaching the perfect temperature, Rae pressed play on her phone and music began flowing from her Bluetooth speakers as she stepped into the shower.

As the warm water cascaded down Rae’s body and she felt every tense muscle in her body relax, Rae’s mind began to wander.

“I'm loads better now that I get to work with you”...Finn actually said that to me. It's crazy to think that seeing me can impact his day as much as seeing him impacts my day.

It just seems like further confirmation that the feelings between us are mutual, which I'm still trying to wrap my head around!

Furthermore, unleashing flirty Rae was definitely a good decision! Half the time Finn plays off of the flirtatious vibe and he gets even more cheeky and tactile than he would usually be…

“Oh, I’m aware...I just wanted to have a little fun and I like to make you blush”

“I'm just enjoying the view…”

But other times I can tell that Finn is caught off guard and surprised by my flirting and he gets so adorably flustered and loses the cool and collected facade that most people see when they talk to Finn.

I don't know what I was expecting by being more forward in my flirting with Finn, but I'm pretty sure I like the direction things are going between us.

I suppose we'll just have to wait and see where things go with him this week if I make the blatant flirting a regular occurrence with him.

With her mind and body now fully at-ease, Rae turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel that hung on the towel rack tightly around her body. Rae grabbed another towel and began to dry her hair and remove the excess water dripping from her long, purple locks of hair. Rae sprayed her hair from the end to root with a leave-in conditioner and began running a comb through her hair to prevent any tangles from forming when she heard her phone chime from her bedroom.

Rae wrapped her dressing gown around her body and tied it at her waist as she padded into her bedroom to see who had texted her and she heard her phone chime a few more times.

Holy shit! Why am I suddenly so popular?

She noticed that she had unread texts from a few different people, but she decided to open Izzie’s texts first, since there were multiple texts from her.

Izzie: Hiya Rae! Did you see that they posted our new sch

Izzie: *Did you see that they posted our new schedules for work? The new schedules start tomorrow! (-_-)

Izzie: Sorry, my stubby fingers sent the message before I finished typing LOL

Rae: Nooo! What’s your new schedule gonna be like? I’m checking mine now…

She logged into the scheduling website her work used and expanded the view to she her schedule for the next month and her stomach dropped slightly.

Not only am I working weird hours this semester to accommodate for my hectic Uni schedule, but they also scheduled me for less hours…

Am I gonna be able to pay all my bills and rent still?

Another buzz of Rae’s phone alerted her that Izzie and replied and sent her a screenshot of her new work schedule.

Izzie: SO!?! PLEASE TELL ME WE STILL WORK TOGETHER SOMETIMES! (>_<)

Rae sent Izzie a screenshot of her schedule as well before replying.

Rae: Based on this, we only work a couple hours together on Fridays!!! </3 :(

Izzie: THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING…

Rae: I know! This is awful!! I’m gonna miss working with ya every day, Izz, but I know we’ll still hang out and have classes together, I’m sure.

Rae: I just wonder what everyone else’s schedules are gonna be like now…

Rae did not even have to mention a specific name for Izzie to know that she was referring to Finn.

After 2 months of tip-toeing the line between friends and more-than-friends, we’re finally starting to make some progress and now it might all be over before it starts…

No! You can’t think that way, Rae…You enjoy talking to each other and you get on really well, so if anything is going to come from this, it is still going to happen even if you don’t work together as often.

...Right?

Rae did not want to dwell on this topic any longer, so she went back to the messages on her phone to determine who else’s texts she had yet to reply to.

Abigail: Happy New Year’s Eve, girls! I hope you guys have fun ringing in the new year! :)

Chloe: Yay! Happy (almost) New Year’s :D Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, ladies ;)

Rae had almost forgotten that today was New Year’s Eve—since she did not have any special plans for the evening and she had just spent the majority of her day getting caught up on housework and cleaning—but she was reminded of the fact when she looked at the time at the top of her cell phone screen and noticed that it was just less than an hour until midnight.

Rae: Happy New Year’s girlies! I have work early tomorrow, so no shenanigans for me, but I look forward to seeing the crazy fun you two get up to on Snapchat in the morning! ;) :P

Rae set her phone to the side and picked up where she left off earlier with brushing through her hair and French braiding it to keep her hair from becoming too unruly as it dried.

She untied and removed the dressing gown and slipped on a pair of her favorite black leggings and her favorite oversized red flannel shirt.

Rae was already getting New Year’s Celebration Snapchats from some of her Uni friends that were in time zones ahead of hers and she was about to settle into her bed to watch Netflix until she fell asleep when her phone buzzed once again.

Mum: Happy Almost New Year’s, Rae-Rae! I know you have work tomorrow, but you should still try to celebrate a little bit.

Rae: Thanks, mum! I will :)

Mum: And Rachel...just because we gave you a brand new bottle of wine for you to have a drink at midnight, doesn’t mean you need to FINISH it tonight. I’ll talk to you later, love! <3

Rae rolled her eyes at her mum’s text and smiled, but the bottle of wine sitting in her kitchen that had been nearly forgotten sudden began to sound more and more appealing to her. This was the first New Year’s Eve that Rae has ever spent alone—since she has been moved out from her parents’ house for over six months and all of her friends were out of town or had prior plans for New Year’s Eve—and she was unsure what to do with herself.

Rae glanced down at the too bright screen of her cellphone and saw that it was only a few minutes until Midnight. She climbed off of her bed and padded barefoot to her kitchen to open the bottle of white wine to make a toast at the stroke of midnight, because she thought that some traditions should remain even if you are alone for the night.

She uncorked the bottle of wine and began reaching for a glass from her cabinet when she changed her mind.

One perk of being friendless and living alone: it is perfectly acceptable to drink directly from the bottle if you damn well please.

Rae walked back into her bedroom to put on her favorite black slippers before walking out the front door of her apartment onto her balcony. Rae loved that her second-floor apartment had an attached balcony that allowed her to sit outside and get a breath of fresh air when the weather permitted or watch the rain up-close from a dry place.

When Rae sat down on her balcony, she could feel the chill of the concrete beneath her through the fabric of her leggings, but she ignored the initial shock and leaned back on her elbows to enjoy the final moments before Midnight.

“Well…cheers to yet another great year!” Rae said aloud with a hint of sarcasm in her voice before taking a long drink of wine as soon as the clock on her phone displayed that it was midnight. She could vaguely make out the cheers and celebrations of her neighbors in their apartments as she remained seated on the cold concrete of her balcony, drinking her bottle of wine and responding to some of her friends that were just now wishing her a Happy New Year.

***

Rae was still a bit fuzzy on the details of exactly how she ended up back in her bed after sitting on her balcony and drinking the entire bottle of wine, but when she woke up the following morning to get ready for work, she was thankful that she had decided to French braid her hair the prior evening, since that meant one less thing for her to do today.

Having slept through her alarm, Rae had less than an hour to get ready and walk to work if she intended to make it to work on time, so after dragging herself from the warmth and comfort of her bed she sped through the motions of her usual morning routine.

Within twenty minutes, Rae was dressed in a pair of black fleece-lined leggings and a band tee and was hurrying out the door while trying to put on her leather jacket.

Rae walked into the office building with just a couple minutes to spare and breathed a deep sigh of relief when she saw that Archie, Chop, and Hannah were already seated and logging into their computers.

“Good morning! You guys have no clue how relieved I am to see you all here, working today! I really thought I was gonna be all alone with the new schedule changes!” Rae said as she took a seat at the empty desk beside Chop.

“How are you this morning, Raemundo? You didn’t party too hard last night, did you?” He asked with a smirk while wiggling his eyebrows.

“Definitely not! I mostly just relaxed and then drank some wine on my balcony to ring in the new year…alone…it was kind of sad, really,” Rae’s voice became little more than a mumble as she realized how pathetic she must sound to him, but she quickly shook off the negative thoughts and perked up a bit before asking, “How did you spend New Year’s Eve, Chop?”

“Well I did have plans with a couple of my mates from Uni, but they canceled our plans at the last minute and I ended up spending most of the day with my family and then drinking with a few lads around a bonfire in the backyard at my place when it was actually midnight. It was a pretty uneventful evening, all-in-all…” Chop explained with a shrug as be got to work responding to his first customer of the day.

Rae and the others got back to work, chatting about how they spent their New Year’s Eves and anything else that came to mind for a few hours when her old supervisor approached her.

“Angie! How are you? I haven’t seen you in ages…well…since I switched departments, I suppose. What can I do for you?” Rae said as she turned around in her desk chair to face Angie where she stood in aisle behind Rae’s desk.

“Hiya Rachel! We had a lot of people call out of work today, since it is a holiday weekend, so I was wondering if you’d like to step in as a temporary supervisor for your department and mine for a bit…I promise it won’t be for long! I just don’t want any questions to go unanswered while I’m on my lunch break and you’re the only person here who has been trained in both departments.”

Rae was still unsure if she was truly the best fit for the responsibility of managing two different teams of people with no other supervisors or team leaders to assist her if the situation warranted further actions, but Angie quickly spoke up when she noticed that Rae was about to decline.

“Pretty please, Rae! It would really mean a lot to me…and it’s easier than it looks! Just walked around the aisles of desks until someone asks you a question…It’s loads easier than either job you’ve done in each of these departments, I can assure you!” Angie had her hands clasped together and her lower lip jutted out, pouting and begging for Rae to agree.

“Alright, Angie…I’ll help you out, just give me a minute to finish up with this customer.” Rae said with a chuckle after seeing her prior supervisor begging, which seemed very uncharacteristic for the otherwise poised woman.

Angie voiced her endless praise and appreciation for Rae as she finished the conversation she was working on and locked her computer.

Okay Rae, you can do this…she said it herself: you are one of the few people who have been trained in both departments and know what each department does.

Rae was concerned that she would encounter a situation that she did not know how to handle, but after over an hour of walking the perimeter of the building and weaving between the rows of desks for each department, she had only been asked a handful of questions and all of them had been well within her capability to answer confidently.

“Yeah, if this is all I’d have to do, maybe getting promoted to a supervisor position wouldn’t be too bad…I just get to walk around and make sure that none of you get into too much trouble and I’ve done my job!” Rae had remained on one side of the building for a while to chat with Chop and Hannah, but she still kept an eye out for any questions needing to be answered on the opposite side of the building.

“Hello everyone!” Finn called as he walked into work and took a seat at almost the same time the machines on the wall chimed to signal that it was noon,“How are you this morning, Rae?”

“Our Raemundo has become too good for us, Finney boy! She’s off to do bigger and better things and help other people that are in need and she doesn’t have time for lowly customer service agents like you or myself now that she’s a ‘supervisor’…” Chop replied on Rae's behalf, putting emphasis on the word “supervisor” when he nearly spat the work with mock disdain, while she was busy answering a question Archie had asked her.

“Oh no! It can’t be true, Mae! Tell me that Chop is lying, girl…” Finn replied melodramatically, playing along with the direction Chop had led the conversation toward.

“First of all, I’m not a supervisor…I’m just filling in for Angie for a little while since no one else is here and none of you lot are trained in both departments like I am…and I’m not even doing anything, really! I’m just walking around and talking to you all until someone has a legitimate question.”

“Well then that’s perfect, Rae!” Finn pulled out the chair from the vacant desk beside him and added, “Have a seat and you and I can talk until you are whisked away from me by someone who allegedly needs assistance more than I need to talk to you!”

“What could you possible need to talk to me about that is urgent enough to keep me from doing the job that I have been bequeathed?” Rae replied skeptically, chuckling and rolling her eyes, but did as Finn had requested nonetheless and took a seat in the empty chair beside him.

“Uh…what about, er, what you did last night to celebrate New Year’s Eve?” Finn asked.

“Honestly I didn’t do anything too fun. I spent the day cleaning my apartment and then I just drank a bottle of wine while sitting alone on my balcony…” Rae trailed off when she noticed that Finn’s eyebrows were now knit together in concern.

“Did you say you were alone? Why were you alone last night, Rae?”

“Well this is the first year that I’ve lived away from my family and so I didn’t celebrate with them like I have in the past. And all of my friends seemed to be doing their own thing last night and I didn’t get any invitations or make plans with anyone, so yeah…alone.” Rae replied as she gave Finn a tight-lipped half smile and shrugged slightly.

“Aw, I’m so sorry you were alone on New Year’s Eve, girl! I didn’t know…I would’ve, I don’t know…I could’ve—”

“Finn, it’s okay…It wasn’t your fault I was alone last night.”

“But still, no one—especially you—deserves to be alone during the holidays when you should be celebrating.” Rae wanted to brush off his comment again, but Finn’s serious tone made her reconsider that decision.

“Maybe you’re right, Finn…So what did you do to celebrate last night? Surely you had more fun that a boring old homebody like myself!” Rae said, trying to use a bit of humor to smoothly transition the conversation away from her uneventful evening.

“Well I didn’t have plans at first either, but one of my mates texted me that he was back in town from Uni and we decided to meet up. We were just relaxing and catching up at a pub and my mate was getting pretty drunk,” Finn began, stopping momentarily when he saw Rae crane her neck to see if there was anyone trying to get her attention on the opposite side of the building.

When she was confident that no one needed help, Rae gave Finn an approving nod, encouraging him to continue his story.

“So my mate had a lot to drink and he kept trying to convince a group of girls near the bar to join us at our table,” Finn said, rolling his eyes at the memory.

“Did they? The girls from the pub, that is. Did they join you guys?” Rae asked with feigned nonchalance.

“Definitely not. My mate is in a long-term relationship, so he was just trying to play wingman and help me talk to some girls, but I wasn’t interested. He was pretty annoyed with me, but I can deal with that.” Finn added with a cocky smirk.

“Ah, were these girl’s not your type? I definitely know what it’s like to have mates that try to force you into flirting situations against your will…”

“Don’t get me wrong, these girls were pretty…but like too pretty? That probably doesn’t make sense, but I found them intimidatingly pretty…tall, slender, long blonde hair, tanned skin, and they were well-dressed and had nice looking make-up, but I don’t know…”

“Finnley! How could you say that isn’t your type? Those girls are probably everyone’s type…fuck, probably myself included if I’m being totally honest!” As soon as Rae said this, she glanced over at Finn and did not miss the quirk of his eyebrow and smirk her shot in her direction.

“They just seemed so…fake…Like sure they were pretty, but I knew that was likely the full extent of their appeal. I like girls who are more real and who I can hold decent conversations with. I can’t imagine being with a girl who isn’t approachable because she is too aware of how attractive most people find her…I much prefer subtly beautiful girls who are unique and keep me on my toes when we talk…” Finn trailed off but did not break eye contact with Rae.

“Not to mention, our Finney boy here likes ‘em curvy, isn’t that right mate?” Chop added from behind Finn shooting Rae a wink as he used his hands to illustrate the hourglass shape of a curvy girl’s body.

Finn leaned back in his desk chair and slapped the back of Chop’s head while Rae was still blushing and searching for the words to say next.

“Huh...that’s good to know...” Rae added with a smirk, which caused Finn to blush slightly.

Finn looked like he was about to say something, but before she could say anything, someone on the opposite side of the building stood from their desk to search for Rae and Rae stood up quickly to go help them.

“Oh look at that! The people are in need and I am being beckoned…” Rae said to no one in particular as she sped away from Finn to help the other person.

***

With her new schedule Rae did not go into work on Mondays until Noon, so she had a lot more time to relax and get ready for work than she generally would. As she poured herself a cup of coffee she had brewed a bit earlier that morning, Rae heard her cell phone chime from within her bedroom where she had left it charging.

Archie: Good morning, Rae! Are you still willing to grab lunch with me today? I came into work at 8 this morning and I’m on my break right now, but maybe we can work out a time that will still work for both of us. Just let me know!

Rae: Hiya Arch! I go into work at noon today but I’m only working a 2 hour shift. Do you wanna head somewhere for a late lunch after we’re both off of work?

Archie: Yes, that sounds perfect! I’ll see you at work! :)

Rae continued sipping her coffee while she got ready for work —taking advantage of the extra time the later start to her shift gave her to actually put on makeup and flat iron her mess of purple curls to be long, straight, and silky—and placed the dirty mug into the kitchen sink before leaving her apartment to walk to work.

As Rae walked at a leisurely pace to work, enjoying the feeling of the cool January air against her skin and the white noise effect the sounds of the city created, she felt her cell phone vibrate within her purse.

Abigail: Rae! I wanted to surprise you, but then I realized that you probably have work tomorrow and this surprise could back-fire on me, but...

Abigail: SURPRISE! I’M BOARDING A TRAIN NOW TO COME VISIT YOU!!! :D

Abigail: My family paid for me to come down to visit them later this week before I have to be back at Uni, but I left a couple days early so I can see you and we catch up on life in-person!

Rae: OH MY GOD! Yay! I'm so excited to see you, I feel like it's been forever!! :)

Abigail: I know! Are you free to grab lunch tomorrow? There's a place one of my mates from Uni recommended that I think is pretty close to where you live, if you'd wanna try it?

Tomorrow is Tuesday...I'm not normally scheduled to work, but earlier this morning I picked up a shift from 8am-10am to get a bit more money...I think we could still get lunch after that.

Rae: I work tomorrow morning, but we can grab lunch and hang out tomorrow around noon, if that works for you?

Rae was already standing outside the office building she worked in as she finished typing that text and sent it to Abigail.

She opened the door to her office, silencing her cell phone and placing it back into her purse, before walking into the office to get to work.

When she scanned her badge at the machine on the wall, her coworkers all looked up from their computers to see who had entered the room and she was met with smiles and greetings from Chop, Archie, and Finn. She walked toward the closest desk that was free—which just so happened to be next to Finn—and began logging into her computer.

“You’re getting in quite late today, aren’t you girl?” Finn asked, giving Rae his signature cheeky crooked smile.

“It’s just my new schedule for work...it has me working really weird hours,” Rae replied with an annoyed eye roll.

“Yeah, I know what you mean. I only worked from 10 to noon today, so I’m headed out of here any minute now. It looks like on Mondays I’m leaving just as you come in...” Finn’s shoulders slumped slightly when he said this, but he gave Rae a tight lipped smile as he logged out of his computer and stood up from his desk.

“Raemundo! Since Finn here is leaving, you should move down and take his desk and sit next to me!”

As Rae stood up to move to the desk beside Chop that Finn had previously been sitting at, she waved goodbye to Finn as he walked away from their side of the office to scan his badge at the machine on the wall and exit the building.

Rae, Chop, and Archie sat working and talking for the next couple hours of their shifts until it was time for all of them to clock out for the day.

“Is now a good time to grab lunch, Rae? I drove to work, so we can drive to lunch and I can drop you off at your apartment whenever we’re done, if you want.”

“Yeah, now is a great time for me. Let’s go get some food!”

Rae and Archie both decided to go to their local chip shop for lunch and after placing their orders and receiving the food at the counter, they took a seat at a table in the furthest corner of the restaurant.

“So Rae...you’ve been keeping me in suspense for a week...are you finally going to tell me what all is going on between you and Finn?” Archie asked before picking up a chip from his basket and putting it in his mouth.

“How much do you want to know?” Rae asked hesitantly before taking a bite of a chip as well.

“Everything. Tell me everything, and don’t worry about sparing me any of the details…”

As Rae and Archie ate their orders of chips, she went through the entire story of her interactions with Finn—glossing over the parts of the story that he was already aware of—and brought him up to speed on everything that has led her and Finn to where they are now.

“Wow...Rae that’s, just...wow!”

“I know! Isn’t it so crazy? I mean who would have guessed that Finn would have missed me that much while he was traveling with his band or that he would be responding so positively to my flirting this past week!”

“Are you shitting me, Rae? That’s not at all what I’m surprised by! I know you fancy Finn and I can sure as hell see that he’s fancied you for some time now...I’m just surprised that it’s taken you this long to realize it for yourself!” Archie exclaimed, causing a few people at the tables nearby where he and Rae sat to glance over at them.

“How about we try to keep our voices down a little bit more, okay Arch?” Rae asked, which caused Archie to chuckle and nod, before continuing, “I know that you’ve been telling me that Finn might like me for a while and now you’re feeling like ‘I told you so!’ but I really needed to figure this out for myself and believe that he could like me back before I started to believe what everyone has been telling me recently.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean, Rae. I’m just happy that you do believe us now that you’ve noticed how much he likes you following recent events. I think you’re good for him and I know that he makes you happy and I’m interested to see where things go from here!”

“Me too, Archie...me too.”

Archie gave Rae a ride back to her apartment when they were done eating and gossiping and when he pulled into a parking space in front of her building, Archie turned down the music they had been listening to as Rae unbuckled her seat belt.

“Thanks for coming to lunch with me and giving me a ride, Arch!”

“Of course, Rae! I had a lot of fun. So...what’s next for you and Finn?”

“Honestly? I have no clue, but I’ll be sure to let you know if or when I figure it out for myself!”

Rae gave Archie the least awkward hug that their seated positions in his car would allow for and waved goodbye as Archie drove away before climbing the steps to her apartment.

Rae walked into her bedroom and began changing into more comfortable clothes when her phone buzzed again within her purse.

She grabbed her phone and opened all of the new notifications she had on her phone while searching her refrigerator for something to drink.

Hmm...I was a little overzealous with the wine the other night and so I don’t have any of that…

Rae suddenly remembered that one of her friend’s that was a Foreign Exchange student from Japan that is attending the same university as Rae had come over to her apartment and left behind some of her favorite alcoholic beverages from Japan in Rae’s fridge for Rae to try whenever she wanted to.

Peach Sparkling Jelly Sake...its like a carbonated sake beverage...in a jelly form? Well...alcohol is alcohol, I suppose...

Abigail: RAAAEEE!! My train just arrived about an hour ago! Lunch at noon tomorrow sounds great. You’ll just have to remind me where you live exactly, since this will be the first time I see your apartment in-person! I can’t wait to see you tomorrow...and your purple hair! It is still purple, right?

Rae shook the jelly sake container vigorously as the directions on the metal can instructed, but was hesitant while actually opening it to ensure that the can would not explode or make a mess of the kitchen she had recently cleaned.

When the can opened with ease, to Rae’s surprise, she took a slow sip and was simultaneously confused and delighted by the drink.

It tastes like peach and very faintly of alcohol, but it has the consistency of jelly or the boba inside the boba tea drinks all my friends seem to be obsessed with at the moment.

It’s very strange, but I sort of like it!

Rae: For sure! I’ll text you my address tomorrow morning and you can just follow the directions using Maps on your phone. And yes, my hair is still purple...like very purple, so try not to be too surprised when you see it in-person.

Well...if it’s purple hair Abbie wants to see, purple hair is what she’s gonna get!

It had been longer than Rae could remember since she had touched up the purple in her hair—mostly out of sheer laziness—but Rae knew that she was going to have a very busy week and the new semester of classes was starting next week, so this was going to be her only chance to re-dye her hair any time soon.

Rae pressed play on her phone and music began playing from the Bluetooth speakers in her bedroom as she kept sipping her sake beverage and got the purple hair dye and all the supplies she would need to re-dye her hair organized on the counter in her bathroom.

***

Rae had fallen asleep shortly after she finished re-dying her hair purple and she had not had the chance to see what it looked like when it was fully dry. She glanced in the mirror above her bathroom sink the next morning while getting ready for work and was met with vibrant purple hair that was a bit shocking initially, but Rae could not help but love the way it suited her.

How odd is it that me of all people could pull off bright purple hair so well?

Despite being slightly hungover from how many of the jelly sake beverages she had drank the night before, Rae had woken up with plenty of time to get ready for work—even putting effort into making sure her outfit, hair, and makeup all looked particularly good—and grab coffee before her shift started at 8am.

When Rae walked into the office with her coffee in-hand, she was somewhat surprised to see how few people there were working in her department today. Rae took a seat closest to the radio to ensure that she maintained control for the duration of her two hour shift and breathed a sigh of relief when Liam continued walking past the desk where she sat and took a seat on the opposite side of the aisle facing away from her.

Her two hour shift seemed to pass incredibly slowly with no one nearby her to make conversation with, but before she knew it, she was finishing assisting her final customer for the day and there was less than five minutes left before her shift was over.

“Hey Rae! Can I ask you a question?” Peter asked suddenly from behind Rae which caused her to jump in surprise before turning toward him in her desk chair. When she met Peter’s eyes, she was still grinning and laughing to herself at how startled she had been when he spoke up behind her and Peter quirked an eyebrow up as he took in her facial expression.

“Yeah, of course, Peter! What’s up?” Rae asked once she had composed herself from her minor scare but the odd look Peter was giving her confused her and led her to ask, “Why are you giving me that odd look? Did I miss something..?”

“Why are you smiling like that? What’s wrong with you today, Rae?”

“I was smiling because I got startled and jumped when you got my attention and I felt a bit silly...Uh, I don’t know what you mean, Peter…what’s wrong with me?”

“I don’t know either, I suppose. You just seem...happy, I guess? I didn’t know if there was something in particular that happened because you’re never happy like this.”

“Uh, I didn’t realize happy was a bad thing or that I was particularly happy today. Do I really come across to you in a way that happy seems like an unusual mood for me?”

“I didn’t mean to offend you. I was just curious about why you seem so happy…”

“I guess it’s because I am happy today...I have coffee, I’m a little bit hungover, I’m going to see one of my best mates for the first time in a really long time...I don’t know. Today just seems like it’s going to be a really good day for me.” Rae concluded her statement with a shrug and a smile, which Peter mirrored.

“Well, I’m happy that you’re happy. That wasn’t the question I was going to ask you though, I just got distracted...can you help me with this customer question really quickly? I have no fucking clue what they’re going on about…”

After her shift at work had ended and Rae walked back to her apartment, she texted Abbie the address to her apartment and continued browsing her social media accounts and watching whatever TV show piqued her interest at the moment until her phone buzzed loudly on the table beside Rae’s bed.

Abigail: Hiya Rae! Sorry I’m a little early :/ If you’re ready we can go now, but if not I’ll just wait in the parking lot for you, if you’d like.

Rae: Hey Abbie! No need to apologize! :D I’ll be down in a second.

Rae quickly slung her purse over her shoulder and left her apartment, locking the door being her, and hurried down the flight of stairs leading to the parking lot.

She was quickly met with the familiar face of her friend who she had not seen in months and as she approached, her childhood friend’s face shifted from a friendly smile to a look of utter shock.

“Holy shit, your hair is purple!” Abigail stated with shock evident in her tone.

@eveerez @tinakegg @hey1tskat1e @bitchesbecrazy89 @kneekeyta @milllott @protectfinnnelson @arathewallflower @jackiewalsh2013 @pink-royaute @i-dream-of-emus @lurkernolonger @bitchy-broken @nutinanutshell @mallyallyandra @borntosik

A/N: Hello there! I hope you enjoyed this chapter (and the above gif...the opportunity presented itself and I couldn’t help myself)! There’s not a whole lot of Rinn flirting here, but Rae needs some bonding time with her friends from time to time after a hectic Uni semester, and the flirting is no where near over! BTW, the Sparkling Peach Jelly Sake are very real, very delicious beverages...just saying! Stay tuned for the next part of this chapter that should be coming relatively soon...I hope...

#mmfd fanfic #my mad fat diary fanfiction #my writing #chapter 11 #mmfd #my mad fat diary

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