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xsarcasticwriterx · 3 years

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I hate you

Summary: In a world where your enemies name appears on one wrist and your soulmates appears on the other but what happens when it's the same name on both

Pairing: loki x reader

Warnings: fluff but some major angst at end, swearing,

Notes: Finally not bucky pfft anyways i got this idea from a post I saw on instagram hope ya like it :) oh and this takes place during ragnarok and infinity war also yes i know the lines aren't the exact same but i tried to keep it similar.

You hated loki no hate wasn't strong enough you despised the god. With his tricks and mischief. with his knifes and need to simply be an absolute dickbag. all of this is what made the position you were put in even more confusing and messy.

You stared down at your wrist looking at the names well name. singular. The names were supposed to be one of your enemy and one of your soulmate which of course frustrated people to the end of which name suppose to take what role. Yours might seem simpler but it made it more complicated.

there was one name. loki. It sat on both your wrist being there since the day you were born. at first it confused you and your parents why the name was the same. Then the confusion grew when a few days later a prince was born named loki odinson.

So your enemy was loki but was also your soulmate. The more you were around loki the more you understood the enemy part of it. He'd pull mean pranks and constantly pester you. you assumed the names on his wrist were in the same case as yours making his constant bother make sense.

Of course now wasn't the time to rehash all of that. you currently were going through something that felt similar to an acid trip. They spoke something of the grandmaster and how this planet was created or whatever. you simply felt sick and like someone stuck your brain in a blender.

you open your eyes not even realizing you had closed them at some point. looking around you are sat next to thor and in front of you is a strange man with eyeliner who looks like a dude going through a midlife crisis.

behind you are rainbow guards. confused you turn to lowkey who looks just as confused as you. “well aren't these two just marvelous. he and a she right?” he ask looking up at a girl. she nods “yes he and she” she smiles at you two. “see this is why your amazing. what do i always say when she shows up it starts with b” he says looking to another girl. “trash” she says glaring at the other girl. “wha- no were you just looking to call her trash that doesn't even start with b” he said confused and shaken. “booze hag”

you cant help but snicker at this. “I- what no i'm sorry i always say your the best god. she brought me my champion y'know” he says with a smile. “so you say every time shes here.” she replied jealousy thick. “how much for them” grandmaster ask. this shakes you up and throws even thor off guard. “hi yes excuse me were not for y'know sale” you say like its an outlandish thing. “10,000″ the girl says. “I am not for sale” thor says ripping his arms out of the chair. “ooo a fighter I like it” he says then the girl presses a button and thor is shaking like he was tased.

“Y'know actually i think i'm ok being sold off can I just nooot have that happen to me?” you ask with a wide grin. “I like her shes funny” get her out of the chair” the grandmaster says. “give her the credits hurry” with a grumble the girl gets paid. “you will pay for this.” thor says to the scavenger. “no I got paid for this.” she says smugly walking off. your chains are released and you stand up rubbing your wrist. “do you got any lotion or anything cause that shit made my wrist all dry” you say nodding towards the chair.

“Get the girl some lotion go go” he says to the other. “come follow me” he says after you get handed some lotion. you walk into a room full of people thor following behind on his chair. The room seems like a party people are chatting music is blasting. “I am the god of thunder!” thor says. tiny thunder comes out his fingers making you chuckle. His hammer being broken but be affecting him more than expected. “well there's no thunder but you did create little sparkles there.” he says walking to a dj panel.

“hey y/n get me out of here” thor whispers to you. “Man i don't even know how i got out ok guess you gotta just be awesome like me” you look around and spot someone who for once actually made you smile “or like loki apparently.” you point out to thor. “loki!” he yells. you hit thor's arm “shut up” you say. loki looks at you two confused.

“loki!!” thor says happily. you simply facepalm you didn't want to talk to loki nor did you want grandmaster from finding out you know him especially if he's caused as much chaos here as he has on asgard. loki looks concerned and does a fake smile and goodbye before walking towards yall “shhh sh” he says. “what are you doing here” he ask “Me and y/n were put in a chair she was released wheres your chair?” thor ask. “i didn't get a chair” loki whispers back. “well get me out of this one” thor ask “i cant.” “get me out” “I cant” they debacle before you interrupt “how did you get here?” you ask. “I was here a few weeks ago I gained his trust i know hes strange but im in the good with him” loki says.

“what are we whispering about” Grandmaster sneaks up on yall. “jesus fuck what are you a mouse?!” you ask feeling your heart pounding like drums. “you know this lord of thunder?” grandmaster ask loki. “god of thunder heh tell him” thor says nodding. “i've never met this man in my life” loki says with a nervous smile. “their brothers” you chime in “adopted” loki clarifies. you smile at the grandmaster. “well if you want to get back to assguard or-” grandmaster starts “asgard” thor clarifies. “Only those who defeat me beloved champion can leave.” grandmaster said with a smile. “just send him that way he’ll stab whomever whatever to get back home” you say. thor nods with a smirk.

and off he goes. not long after loki nods towards where thor was sent and you nod back. As much as you hate loki it was nice having 2 familiar faces here. You walked after loki and snuck into the room. loki was making hand gestures as thor threw a rock through him. “course” you say with a shake of your head. loki and thor look towards you. “why did i actually think for once you'd be nice and actually be here” you say rolling your eyes. “Never put faith in my brother to be nice” thor says throwing another rock through loki. loki rolls his eyes “You don't want my help then i'll just go.” loki says turning around then turning back. “I haven't seen this champion but i know he is unstoppable and terrifying. I have placed a large wager against you won't let me down.” loki says walking off.

“He's right ya know, loki, this champion is a champion for a reason and you don't have your hammer anymore you cant even do your cool lighting trick you barely got it out your fingers...just don't get killed out there please. Loki won't admit it but he cares about your dumbass and so do i so do us both a favor and don't get killed” you say walking out the room. loki was right at the other side and rolled is eyes. “that was cheesy” he says. “shut up i just don't want you to be more annoying than usual if he fucking dies.” you reply with a grumble.

Soon enough the battle comes and you sit next to loki. your nerves become evident the more time passes. loki puts a hand on your bouncing leg. slowly it calms down. his hand stays there as thor walks out. you gulp deeply. they announce the champion and out walks.....hulk? “I have to get off this plant” loki says starting to walk off. you giggle. loki's experiences with hulk were far from fun.

“where are you going?” grandmaster ask walking loki back to his seat. “Hey! I know him! hes a friend from work!” thor says yelling. you bite back a smile. “ahem yea we kind of all work together” you say with a smile to grandmaster. his smile falters. loki looks nervous. as much as you wanted to laugh at his pain hulk throwing you around can be quite traumatic. “hey you're up here...hes down there” you say “hes not coming after you ok hes controlled its ok.” you say to loki. he nods.

The fight goes on and right when you see an end that scared you thor got his powers and blasted hulk. “oh shit” you mumble. “of course” loki mumbles. thor lost the fight that's the summary of it. You and loki ended up wondering the place. “shouldn't we try to find thor?” you ask. “if you want thor i can take you to him but i figured id take you somewhere” loki said. “uh yea sure” you said with a shrug.

You a loki end up at the top of a mountain the view looks beautiful. the sky was many shades of blue from dark to light. “this is...this is beautiful” you say. “yes it is” he replied looking at you. you turn to him seeing him look at you. you smile...maybe loki wasn't so bad after all.

Then an alarm goes off “My precious champion is missing that seductive lord of thunder as stolen him” a hologram of grandmaster says. “shit....thor” you say. “follow” loki says. he grabs your hand and you two end up in the grandmasters office him and the scavenger who brought you and thor is there debate who can bring thor and hulk in faster. “Well i come as a pair” loki said holding your hand up. “uhhhhhh suppose so?” you say with a shrug. “i woke up wanting an execution but ill settle for this little ‘who gonna get him first’” grandmaster says.

you three walk out. “now why would you help my brother escape” loki ask “I help no one but myself” she replies. loki and her end up fighting as you just sit back and watch what can be said watching loki get his ass handed to him was fun. when she knocks him out she looks to you. “do i have to knock you out too? or i can just use this.” she says holding the remote. “uh see i'm not really with him but ya see he makes a great partner in crime but ill just follow willingly.” you say putting your hands up. “good choice” she says.

“Should probably get your name if your going to take us hostage” you say. “valkyrie” she says. you two walk in silence into a room as she ties him up. “i’ll be back keep him there” she says walking out. you sit next to loki and sigh. “your my soulmate...you? i don't know if i have the worst luck.....no i have the best luck.” you say with a smile. one of his sleeves is slightly up and you can see your name on his wrist. “how did we get stuck like this...together.” you ask. loki looks so peaceful asleep. this trip has made you see a vulnerable and kinder loki.

you kiss his cheek before seeing him squirm. his eye open and he looks around. “course she made you babysit” he grumbles. aaaaand he ruined it. you roll your eyes. “shut up and make this easy on both of us and just stay.” you say. “what am I a dog?” he says with a huff. “well you were a snake one time” you say laughing at the memory. he laughs “fair enough” he replies. He starts to say something else when the doors open. thor and bruce walk in. “y/n!” he says excitedly. “Bruce” you say happily hugging him. You two had been close before he disappeared to well here. loki grumbles and bruce turn to him. “last time i saw you, you were ready to kill us where are we at now?” bruce ask. “it varies moment to moment” loki replies.

bruce looks at you concerned. “he's on our side for now.” you say sitting next to loki. “look we need to get out of here.” he points to a portal outside “through there” he says. “through the devil's anus?!” valkyrie ask. you burst out laughing. “I wasn't aware it was called that when i picked it” thor says slightly embarrassed. “well we need a ship mine wont make it through that” valkyrie says.

They then nerd out about ships as loki struggles in his chains. “Don't even try there stuck there” you whisper to him. he sighs and gives up. “I just so happen to know the codes to grandmasters ship keep” loki says. “and your just ready to help?” valkyrie ask “i have run out of favors with grandmaster sO” he says and sighs. you side eye loki suspicious. he smiles you and you look to the others.

“what the worst he betrays us? Would just be another day with the odinson boys.” you say standing up. So that was that. You,thor, and loki would go get the ship. you two were at a door when thor started “I suppose we should talk.” he said. “i disagree,open communication was never our family's forte” loki said. “you have no idea quite the revelation sense we last spoke” thor says

“hello” thor says to the people...things that see you 3 come in. “hi” loki says making you smile “sup” you say before you 3 blast them. “Odin brought us together” loki says as you 3 hide from the shot fired back. “Its almost poetic that his death should split us apart.” loki continues. you sigh “loki why are you so prominent on keeping this angsty wall of yours up” you grumble earning you a side eye. you three then finish them off walking to another key pad. “We might as well be strangers now” loki says ignoring your statement.

“Two sons of the crown, set adrift” loki says. you'd love to say something or really just slap loki so he stops pushing his brother away further and further with every words but you let him continue. The door opens and a man points a gun at loki making him backup and you giggle as thor blast him to the ceiling. “thought you didn't want to talk about it” thor says walking into the elevator. loki puts a finger up “here's the thing” he says stepping over the body. you roll your eyes and follow.

“im probably better off staying here on sakaar.” loki says. that's not what he wants. you stare at thor which he clearly doesn't get cause he then says “That's exactly what I was thinking”

loki makes a stunned face and looks shocked and confused. “Did you just agree with me?” he says shocked. you hit loki's shoulder “what its surprising” you roll your eyes. “come on this place is perfect for you. its savage,chaotic,lawless. Brother you're gonna do great here.” thor says matter of factly. you title your head up and sigh. “morons” you grumble earning two confused looks.

“Do you truly think so little of me?” lokie ask. you shake your head. they really are stupid aren't they. “Loki, i thought the world of you.” thor says. finally now loki dont fuck this up. loki's face soften ups and you smile at it. “I thought we were gonna fight side by side forever” thor continues. come oooon. “but” fucking hell thor. “at the end of they day your you and i'm me” thor says with a shrug. loki looks hurt now. “i don't know maybe there's still good in you. but lets be honest our paths diverged a long time ago” he finishes. fucking hell thor you just had to go and fuck it up. loki contemplates what was just said looking between the floor and thor.

he sighs and nods. his face is full of hurt. you grab his hand softly and give him a small smile which he reciprocates. you may hate loki which lets be honest even that was falling apart but you still wanted him happy. you hated how hurt he looked. like a kicked puppy. “yea...it's probably for the best that we never see each other again.” loki says voice full of pain and almost desperate for thor to deny the allegations. “that's what you always wanted” thor says patting loki. “yall are the most idiotic gods there could be” you say taking thor off guard. loki simply laughs. thor shakes his head and turns back to the front.

“hey lets do get help” thor says happily. this wipes the hurt from loki and replaces it with confusion. “what?” he ask “get help.” he says again. “no.” loki says shaking his head. “come on, you love it” thor says excitedly. “I hate it” loki says shaking his head again. “Its great it works everytime” thor says “its humiliating loki says swinging his hands bringing attention to you two holding hands. This earns a smirk from thor before he says “You have a better plan?” he ask.

“no” loki says. “were doing it” thor says with a smile. “we are not doing get help” loki says matter of factly. next thing you knew loki was limp over the shoulder and thor was yelling get help before throwing loki at the guards. you laughed falling onto your ass. “see this is why i didn't want to do it” loki says nodding to you. “im im ok im good” you say trying to stop laughing. you get up but not far before loki does as loki does and betrays yall. he twitches on the floor and thor walks off. “i'm gonna stay here with him” you say. thor looks suspiciously at you before carrying on.

“if you just hadn't been so stupid and said how you felt and what you wanted from thor we wouldn't be here and now im stuck taking care of your dumbass once again. God i don't even know why i stay anymore when all you do is exactly what would hurt me what you trying to fulfill the enemy part of our deal?” you ask lifting up your sleeves showing the two loki names. “I mean really loki why do you keep doing this please just explain it to me. I started to see a side of you the side that I actually cared for and saw us being real soulmates but then you pulled this crap again and now i don't even know what to feel.” you say before the doors bust in. a rocky man and a group of others walk in. picking up the remote and stopping loki's twitching. Loki looks at you with soft eyes before turning back to the men smuggly. “you look like your in desperate need of a leader” he says. you huff and he looks at you and smiles.

“why thank you” the group says. With that y'all are off on a ship. “sooo where are we running to now” you ask loki. “no more running were going to asgard and were going to kill my sister.” he says with a nod. you smile. you grab lokis shoulders throwing him off. “whatd i do?” he ask. for the first time ever he seems like he'd do anything for you. “nothing” you say with a smile. you kiss his cheek. he looks around confused before clearing his throat. “ok good um ok” he says turning to the panel. you giggle before walking to chat with the others. finally you arrived at asgard which is on fire and surrounded by death. “read?” he ask. you grab his hand. “always” you say turning to him. he smiles and nods. the ship door opens and you all run out and attack.

when the fight seems like a dead end thor blast the whole kingdom with lighting and launches himself out to the bridge. loki smirks slightly which you see and smile yourself. “your late” thor says “your missing an eye” loki says. “ok enough let clear these out and-” you start before hela emerges. what the actual fuck. “hit her with lighting” loki says. “I just hit her with the biggest lighting bolt and she acted like it was nothing” thor yells. “wait....what if this isn't about stopping ragnarok. what if it was about causing it”

thor looks at loki who looks surprised. “this is insane even for me” he says walking off. “Loki!” you yell. he turns around. you grab him and kiss him. its soft and its like the world stopped just for a moment before you have to pull away. “don't get killed” you say. he nods and smiles “anything for you darling” he says with a wink before running off. thor clears his throat. “let's fight” you say. with that you and valkyrie fight with the others as thor hold hela off. you worry for loki how he’ll get out.

Then ragnarok emerges and fire is everywhere. hels is distracted and you and the others run into the ship. flying away Taika says something about the foundation. then it explodes. a few minutes later loki is next to you. “hello darling” he says. you smile and grab onto loki pulling him into a hug. “loki thank god” you say pulling away. you kiss him deeply. “don't ever do that shit again” you say.

You all spend 3 months flying around before coming across a teeny tiny issues heh. you sat in a pool of blood of your friends. people you grew to care about. you tried to scream but were muffled by the guard on your mouth. After the 1st scream they put the guard on to stop the noise. thor was tied down. Heimdall was dead and hulk had been blasted away. You tried to scream again but it stopped as soon as it exited.

Thanos had just decided earth was where needed to be next. “if i might interject, if you are going to earth you might want a guid” loki says appearing. he walks towards thanos. “I do have a bit of experience in that arena” loke says walking up to thanos “if you consider failure experience” thanos said. “I consider experience experience” he said firmly. “All mighty thanos, I loki, prince of asgard, odinson, the rightful king of jotunheim,god of mischief.” he starts spewing off his titles. you see him make a knife appear and you try to scream once again. “Do hereby pledge to you my undying fidelity.” he says starting to power before trying to stab thanos. thanos stops it. “undying” thanos says. “you should choose your words more carefully.” thanos says as he forces loki to drop the knife.

Thanos grabs loki by the neck chocking him. you scream but no sound escapes. tears flood your eyes. “you will never be a god” loki says with his last breath before thanos snaps his neck. thor tries to scream too bt fails.thanos walks over and drops loki's body. “no resurrections this time” he says before lighting everything on fire and leaving. with that your guards are released. you run to lokis body.

you sob and scream. “y/n” thor tries. “shut the fuck up thor” you yell at him through gritted death. you hold loki. your enemy, your nemesis but more importantly your soulmate. rolling up his sleeves you see the one with your name. grabbing the other you see a different name. Luca. you knew him he was annoying as hell. of course now he was another corpse among the rest. you weren't his enemy. He was only yours. Everything he did everything that annoyed you was him trying to be close but in loki's own way. Loki Laufeyson. your enemy and your one true love.

#loki fanfic #loki laufeyson #loki x reader #thor movies #marvel infinity war #infinity war #thor ragnarok #marvel cinematic universe #mcu #mcu x reader #mcu fanfiction #loki layfeyson x reader

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spade-riddles · 3 years

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Submission: Kaylor timeline 2019-2020

This is a atempt of maping the happenings surrounding kaylor in the last 3 years. Please keep in mind that i might forget some things, mostly from 2019 since my memory is actually horrible. I’ll try to include the most important things mainly so let me know if i missed something big. Also, feel free to add some kaylor nods, easter eggs on the girls’ social media, general stuff and correct me i fim wrong on dates or places. Oh quick disclaimer: most of this is Taylor focused because the last time i went on karlies instagram to look for the nashville selfie i actually wanted to puke or bury my face into a hole for the rest of eternety (ok, both) after seeing the jerk photos so if you have any important stuff please add it. Thank u!!!

Lover Era

- ME! MV release on lesbian visibility day (april 26th)

- City of Lover (funny enough, karlie was there in march 😉)

- taylor’s pride post “lets show our pride...” (taylors ig june 1st)

- Promo for the MV with karlie’s hand on taylors ig 16 june post

- sc**ter *audible puke sound* buys taylors masters (june 30th)

- You Need To Calm Down MV (july 17th)

- Lover Title Track released 13 days after karlie’s bday (august 16th)

- Lover mv release which Taylor captioned on her ig post with YAIL lyrics.

- Lover Album Release (august 23rd)

- Miss Americana release (jan 31 2020) “gay pride... everything that makes me me” etc

- The Man MV release (feb 27th)

Here’s some posts with lover era easter eggs:

Link 1

Link 2

some inch resting posts:

eye theory ?!

gold rush 😉

paris captions:

Link 1

Link 2

(probably not that much of a proof much more of a koincidence since au revoir is a pretty common frase but whatever)

This masterpiece here during NYFW in 2019:

note: I think its pretty safe to assume that up until this point its obvious kaylor is still together. Theres exactly no reason why Taylor and Karlie would be referencing kaylor stuff and each other at this point if they weren’t together.

folklore & evermore Era (oh the start of a daydream and a nightmare)

- Not a lot going on at the moment post April 27, 2020

- Karlies very interesting posts:

Dancing in a Cardigan July 10th, 2020

Happy Place July 23rd, 2020

- Tamagochi June 25, 2020 and buns May 14, 2020

- folklore announcement (july 23rd)

Note: up until this point its also pretty much a concensus that they’re still together. Since Karlie hinted the folklore aesthetic and cardigan on her ig post, and Taylor changed the cardigan lyrics to “knew you’d come back to me” and wrote “the lakes” and obviously there is “peace”. From this point on, especially after the WB stuff and pregnancy rumors in September (?) things start to get kinda blurry and gaylors and kaylors start building different point of views. So heres what happens:

- Taylor releases the long pond sessions where she says that joe is WB. I feel like we kinda all believe he isn’t, the thing that gives it for me is mostly Taylor’s body language and the way she stutters when she says it. Also, its kinda weird that out of nowhere joe got this songwriting skills magically. Like, they’ve been “together” for four years and only now Taylor discoveres this man has better songwriting and composing skills than his actual job, idk sounds fishy to me but, you make the call.

- Pregnancy rumors starts flowing on both sides. Taylor quickly starts drinking a shit ton of wine to get her beloved swiffers to come to the realization that she is in fact not pregnant. Karlie’s rumors also starts flowing, and then the people! (?) article comes out confirming it and Karlie later posts a video on her instagram. Here’s where it gets messy. Ill try to explain shortly to you the narrative on the Kaylor side and why i don’t believe in the gaylor narrative. Obviously its your choice wheter you believe it or not.

- Kaylor: The baby is Taylor’s and Karlie’s (not gonna get into hows and stuff bc if it is actually real then it is invading their privacy too much, also speculating about this might trigger some people).

Things that back this theory up: obviously peace “give you a child”, karlie not tagging j*sh*a on her vids, that one 2,1/2 photo from the folklore photoshoot, buns and tamagochi, Taylor and Paul talking about parenthood in the Rolling Stone issue, and all the fertility imagery in evermore and folklore.

Karlie was in Cali in may until august, Taylor was also there. Jerk was on Ny or Miami cant exactly remeber. And it seems that this is what she wrote that one line “knew youd come back to me” in cardigan about. (IMO they [t and k] had some fight after the masters sale on the end of 2019 and took a break or something, so she would in fact come back to her, but just my opinion). So, karlie was there from may to august, karlie’s is on the end of her pregnancy, and if you do the math, she got pregnant sometime between june and july. Which makes it kinda impossible for the baby to be jerk’s (consequently ending the gaylor narrative) since he was in another place and karlie was on cali for like 4 months, if the baby was his, the baby would’ve been born already.

The gaylor narrative is mostly based on Taylor’s songs specially champagne problems, coney island, hoax, closure and exile.

Coney Island isn’t even necessarily a breakup song, it’s just simply a sad song, it is like death by a thousand cuts pt2, it gives the vibe that Taylor is sorry about a lot of things like not being able to thank Karlie “but when i walked up to the podium i think that i forgot to say your name”.

Like coney island, hoax is about the lows of their relationship but it’s clear in the song that taylor still loves karlie and would trade her for anything “don’t want no other shade of blue but you”

Closure and champagne: it just reminds me of Dianna for some reason i don’t even know how to explain it. Champagne Problems remind some of Dianna bc of i know places where she says “take my hand and don’t ever drop it”, to the gp that song is about harry(<3) and most songs that “are about him” are actually about Dianna. i do think it’s is kinda inspired by Karlie though.

Exile: honestly could be used to form a toe breakup narrative.

TBH we’ll probably never understand fully the story behind it. But Taylor also said that a lot of the albums are full of fantasy even thought they’re also inspired by real life situations.

Thank u for reading!! this is obviously my opinion on the matter and my take on the whole situation. feel free to believe whatever you want, and add stuff i forgot sending u lots of love <3

#thank you for putting together this timeline #submission

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songsoomin · 3 years

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Begin Again Part 2 (A,F)

Word count: Around 6k

Idol! Jongho x Fem Reader, Best friend! Hongjoong. Reader has serious body confidence issues due to a past relationship but Jongho will help her through it. First two chapters will be angst with some fluff but a little smut will appear in chapter 3.

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, both emotional and psychological, body shaming, anxiety issues.

Author’s note: Reader is overweight but not as massive as she thinks she is. She has been conditioned through psychological abuse to believe she is very fat and unattractive. This is not intended to be the kind of story where reader becomes thin and is then happy and gets male attention (although, due to reader’s warped sense of self she does equate being thin with being happy). Even after losing some weight (for her own health and happiness) she is still somewhat overweight and curvy but the more important part is that she gets her confidence back and that is what makes her happier and more attractive.

Part 1 Part 3

Posted 18th December 2020

@boss-baby-jongho Sorry it took so long

It had been a few months now since you and Jongho had been training together and you were much closer. You got on well with all the boys but Jongho was the closest to you now aside from Hongjoong. You still saw Hongjoong alone quite often - he would come over to your apartment and you'd watch movies and talk but you also spent plenty of time with all of them together.

This evening you had just come into the boys' dorm with Jongho after another gym session to the smell of cooking. You looked into the kitchen to find Seonghwa and Wooyoung cooking while Woo pestered the older boy like usual, telling him he was doing it all wrong. Hwa had his usual patient look on his face, completely used to Wooyoung's nonsense.

"Y/N!" Yunho called out in greeting . You could see he wanted to hug you like he usually would to others; he was such a warm, affectionate person but he knew it would make you uncomfortable. He settled for stroking your arm instead. You were getting much better at accepting physical affection from them these days. Hongjoong gave you your usual hug and Yunho looked sulkily at you.

"She'll get there, Yunho, just be patient. You'll get hugs soon." Hongjoong told the tall blue-haired boy and you had to laugh at how hopeful his face suddenly turned. You often referred to them as 'boys' but they were all grown men. You wouldn't think it sometimes, though, with how sulky they could get. Yunho and Mingi could appear intimidating with how big they were but really just loved cuddles, no matter who from. San loved his plushies and Woo was so playful and teasing that sometimes they seemed younger than they were. Hongjoong, Seonghwa and Yeosang seemed like the more mature of the group. Jongho was a bit of a mixture; he seemed mature despite being the youngest but he could be pouty sometimes. You were sure, however, that he just used that to get what he wanted. It usually worked, though, you could never deny him anything when he unleashed the full power of his pout.

Seonghwa had made tteokboki - your favourite - and you were all just eating and chatting happily but Mingi seemed quieter than usual and you could feel him watching you during dinner. The drinks had been flowing as none of you had to get up the next day and you felt comfortable enough now to ask him why on earth he'd been watching you so much.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't think you'd noticed."

"You weren't being that subtle, Mingi." You said, amused by his sheepish reply.

"I was just thinking...you always wear such baggy clothes but working out with Jongho must be working because they seem so much bigger on you now."

"You are looking smaller, Y/N." Hongjoong agreed.

"You think?" You asked, you had thought so but with wearing baggy clothes already it wasn't so easy to notice when they got baggier - at least to you...Mingi seemed to see it.

"Definitely." Jongho added, "There's no way my master-level instruction isn't working." You giggled while the others all groaned at his smug evaluation of his talents.

"Well, thanks, I guess...but why do you say so?" You asked Mingi uncertainly, naturally worrying it was something bad that caused him to bring it up. Did you still look that bad? You were hoping all your hard work would make you look better.

"There's nothing wrong if that's what you're comfortable in but I was just thinking it's a shame to hide all the hard work you've been doing."

"What do you mean?"

"Baggy clothes hide your real shape. Some people wear them because they are uncomfortable with their size but they tend to make a person look bigger than they are."

"Oh god, he's on about clothes again." Yeosang muttered.

Ignoring Yeosang's comment you felt your heart drop. Mingi could see exactly what you were doing and - worse - was calling you out on it in front of everyone. You looked down at your food not wanting to look anyone if them in the eye. You felt exposed having your size become the topic of discussion at the dinner table.

"You've made her feel bad, you moron!" Jongho said, glaring at Mingi.

"Calm down, Jongho, we all know you like - "

"Shut up!" Jongho warned, uncharacteristically ill-tempered.

"Well, as I was going to say...don't take it out on Mingi. You know he wouldn't have meant to upset Y/N."

"No! Of course not!" Mingi exclaimed, looking apologetic.

You were certainly confused. You'd never seen Jongho get worked up like that and couldn't see how it linked to what Mingi had said. Maybe what Yeosang was trying to say would've explained it but it was obviously something Jongho didn't want him to say.

"It's okay, Mingi. It's not your fault I'm so sensitive about it. Please continue with what you were saying."

"What I wanted to say is that you should let me take you out to get some clothes that would work much better on you." The brown-haired boy looked excited at the thought but to you even the thought was causing worry to rise in your chest.

"Oh, no. No. I'm no good at clothes shopping. Everything looks bad on me and I just end up crying."

"But..." Mingi continued, "I am very good at clothes shopping and I know exactly what will make you look good."

"You do?" You were still very uncertain about this but the alcohol was making you more suggestible.

"Excuse me? Have you ever seen me in a bad outfit?"

"Here it comes..." Mumbled Yeosang.

"I have never chosen a bad outfit in my whole life. I was born with amazing fashion sense." Mingi declared as the others all rolled their eyes at his overexaggerated claim.

"Uh...I don't know."

"Go on, Y/N... it'll be fun. As modest as he is..." Wooyoung stopped to shake his head at Mingi, "...he does actually know what he's doing when it comes to clothes."

"Okay. As long as I don't end up crying, though." You were already anxious and not really sure why you'd agreed to it.

"If you do it looks like Mingi will have Jongho to deal with." Wooyoung snorted.

In response Jongho stood quickly from the table and stalked down the hall to the room he shared with Mingi. You looked after him sadly. It was horrible seeing him upset. You had no idea what this was all about but it seemed like they were teasing him about something. You looked at the other boys with questioning eyes.

It was Seonghwa who answered your look, "Don't worry, Y/N. He'll be fine, he usually calms down quickly."

Later on when you and Hongjoong were alone in the kitchen doing the dishes you decided to ask your red-haired best friend about it.

"Joong?"

"Yeah?"

"What was Jongho so upset about?"

"Oh...uh...well, I probably shouldn't say anything...but I'm not sure if he ever will."

Hongjoong pondered his statement as he washed another plate. This was not clearing anything up at all.

"I'm not following."

"He likes you." Hongjoong said putting the plate on the drainer for you to dry up.

"I like him, too. He's really fun to be around."

"No, I mean he likes you." Hongjoong emphasised, looking you dead in the eye.

You were stunned. Why would Joongie think that?

"Don't be ridiculous." You scolded him lightly.

"I mean it!" He defended.

"It's not that. He's probably just feeling protective as we've got closer now. No one likes their friends being upset." You nodded to yourself at your more correct assessment of the situation. Anything else was simply unbelievable to you. No one ever thought of you like that. Least of all someone as perfect as Jongho.

********

The next morning you woke up feeling just slightly hungover as you'd all continued drinking further into the evening. All except Jongho, of course. He didn't come back out and that really put a damper on your evening. However, you weren't feeling too bad until you remember that you'd agreed to let Mingi take you shopping. You groaned loudly and tried to work out how to get out of it before deciding you'd have to go because you really didn't like flaking out on people.

Noticing the time you quickly had breakfast and showered before dressing as you always did - baggy to hide your shape and size. You couldn't see how it was possible to look better in clothes that actually showed your figure but hoped Woo was right when he said Mingi knew his stuff when it came to clothes.

You were pretty much done when you heard a knock on your apartment door. You rushed over to open it and found Mingi on the other side, smiling brightly at you.

"Ready?" he asked, voice as deep as ever.

"No." Truthfully you were dreading it.

"Well we're still doing it so come on." Unceremoniously, he grabbed your wrist with his big hand and pulled you out the door.

"I'm coming, I'm coming..." You laughed, "Just let me lock my door before we go."

********

"Y/N...are you ever going to come out?"

"I'm really not sure about this, Mingi."

You were standing in front of the full-length mirror in the changing room, uncomfortable with what was reflected back at you.

"I picked out the perfect outfits for you so I can't imagine what you're not sure of." The tall brunette said matter-of-factly.

"It's just so...tight."

"Exactly. It will show off your figure perfectly."

"Mingi!" You yelled as he suddenly whipped the dressing room curtain back.

"See? You look amazing."

You looked at him skeptically as he smiled widely, appreciating his work.

"You're lying."

Mingi's smile faded and he sighed. "Y/N, you're not seeing yourself clearly at all. You have a great figure...amazing curves." He added, looking you up and down.

"Mingi, are you checking me out?" You joked, "I'm going to have to watch you."

"What?" He said defensively, "You look good."

Embarrassment came over you as you were only joking so you didn't expect Mingi's response. He, however, was not embarrassed and continued on a little more seriously.

"I know you don't think so but it's true."

The change in atmosphere caught you off guard. You'd only ever seen Mingi in a playful mood so to see him turn serious and caring was different.

"Thank you, Mingi."

The brunette smiled in response and you could see that he meant it even if you had trouble believing it. You thanks were sincere, though, because, aside from Hongjoong, you weren't used to anyone offering praise to you.

"You definitely need to get this outfit. It's looks great and makes you look a lot smaller than those awful baggy clothes you wear. Next outfit!"

Mingi pulled the curtain shut while you reluctantly did as ordered and started changing in to the next set of clothes. In truth, though, part of you was excited and enjoying the shopping trip with Mingi. The confidence you once had was buried deep down but you knew it was still there and maybe this could help you find it again. You used to love all the attention you got from boys when you got dressed up and you wanted that feeling back. That was why you let Mingi talk you into getting all the clothes he'd picked out for you.

********

A low whistle sounded as you entered the boys' dorm with Mingi pushing you through the door as you'd felt too nervous to go in looking so different to usual. You had tried to turn and run away but Mingi was too big and strong.

You were in the first outfit he'd picked out for you which was a pair of tight-fitting jeans and a top cut lower than you were used to but not too revealing. You weren't used to the way the clothes hugged your curves and felt self-conscious because you were so used to hiding underneath baggy clothes but you could see what Mingi had been trying to tell you. You did look a lot better in fitted clothes than the shapeless ones you usually wore. You looked like a girl again.

You looked up to see that the whistle had come from Wooyoung, who was now appreciating your newly revealed figure.

"It's really nice," the darker-haired male said, "...Mingi, you chose well."

"Don't I always?" Mingi said in response, clearly proud of his work.

Just as you were trying to extract yourself from this new attention a sharp slap on your behind made you gasp and spin around.

"San!" You shreiked at the blonde, who didn't look the least bit sorry.

"Looking good, Y/N."

You really should've scolded him for smacking you but he always looked so cheeky and cute you couldn't really bring yourself to.

"Thanks, San...but don't do that again."

"Why not? In those jeans it looks too good not to." He said, motioning to your bum with both hands.

"She's not a piece of meat, San." Jongho said, annoyance lacing his tone. "And you can't just touch someone like that without their permission."

You and San both turned, neither of you having noticed the youngest's silent entrance.

San looked at Jongho with one eyebrow raised as if he wanted to say something snarky but instead turned to you and said,

'We're friends...it's fine, isn't it Y/N?"

"It's fine but I meant it when I said don't do it again - it really hurt." You gave San a look so he would know you meant it but you really didn't mind that much. You appreciated the sentiment, just didn't like the pain.

Jongho, on the other hand, was not convinced. He looked at San for a moment longer, huffed unhappily, then left the room.

It made you a little unhappy to see Jongho like that. He'd been a little weird lately. Distant. When you were at the gym together he was just the same as always but around the other boys he wasn't the same. He seemed sulky and spent more time in his room. What really hurt most was that he didn't talk to you as much in front of the others.

It's true that with them there, there wasn't as much chance to talk together but after your coffee 'date' he had made more effort to be closer to you - so what had changed now?

Thinking back you remembered the others teasing him and Hongjoong saying Jongho liked you. Could that be it? You didn't see how; what Hongjoong said couldn't have been true so you had just ignored it. At the gym it hadn't made it awkward between you but was that why Jongho was distancing himself around the others...to stop them from teasing him? Maybe you could try talking to him; he had become a really good friend to you and you didn't want a simple misunderstanding to get in the way of that.

The chance to talk to Jongho didn't come that evening as he had come back out of his room to eat with everyone but there were so many of you that it was impossible to talk alone. You could have gone somewhere private to talk but you didn't want to give Yeosang and Wooyoung even more reason to tease him.

Although you were still worrying about Jongho, you still had a great evening. It had made you a little self-conscious but you had to admit that you liked being told you looked good and feeling like your hard work was paying off.

Well...the evening was great until Mingi made a horrifying suggestion.

"Hey! Y/N has some really nice clothes now - courtesy of my incredible fashion sense, of course - so we should all go out and celebrate her hard work."

A communal groan was heard around the room at his less than modest statement but, for the most part, everyone agreed.

"What do you have in mind, Mingi?" Seonghwa enquired, ready to put a stop to any plans that sounded too crazy.

"Let's go to a club!" The excitement was clear on Mingi's face but anxiety was creeping on to yours.

"No." You said firmly as they all turned to you to see what you thought. "No clubs."

"What?

"Why not?"

San and Wooyoung complained in unison, obviously not happy with your opinion.

"Y/N..." Mingi looked at you with a pout, "we got you such nice clothes, why do you not want to show them off?"

You shifted on the couch, uncomfortably.

"It's nothing to do with the clothes...it's the people. Too many people. I just don't like clubs."

"Well," Hongjoong interjected, "strictly speaking it's not the clubs you dislike. I remember you used to love going out and dancing so if we chose a club that's less crowded then you should be okay."

You shot your supposed best friend a look of betrayal.

"Then we should do that!" Mingi cried, excitement flaring up again.

"Please Y/N?" San pouted at you.

"Don't worry about all the other people; we'll all be there to look after you."

Wooyoung added on and with all three of them looking at you with such hope, you found yourself giving in again.

"Fine...but I'm not going to enjoy it." You declared sulkily, slumping back into the couch cushions while the three boys cheered. You didn't miss Hongjoong quietly looking pleased with himself for his latest victory in 'getting you out there again'.

He was right, though you hated to admit it, you did used to love dancing but over the years your enjoyment of clubs diminished along with your confidence. Your dislike of them now was based on the assumption that people would judge you. Laugh at you for getting dressed up and trying to look nice when really you were just a fat mess. Laugh at you trying to dance. You had never been what anyone would call graceful - clumsiness and a poor sense of balance making that impossible. You didn't used to care about that but with no self-confidence you started to focus on every bad aspect of yourself.

While you were inside your own head worrying about all this, the others were busy making plans.

"Y/N!" Wooyoung called out, breaking you out of your thoughts.

"Sorry, what?"

"I said I know just the right club for you. It's got great music but it's a little more expensive so all the kids go elsewhere. It's never uncomfortably packed and doesn't get as rowdy."

You nodded and smiled but it had done little to relax you. Honestly you missed the old days you used to go out dancing confidently. When you looked in the mirror and thought you looked nice and didn't worry about if other people agreed or not. Now that you'd agreed, all you could do was make the best of it. You knew the eight boys would look after you and you'd never not enjoyed a night with them. Maybe it would be fun.

********

Club night came and you were feeling strangely calm about it. A little nervous but mostly excited to spend another night with the best eight friends you'd ever had.

They had all arrived at your apartment unannounced - Mingi citing his concerns about what clothes you would chose, as if only he knew how to put an outfit together. He said he'd have to approve your outfit before he could let you out; you merely answered him with a roll of your eyes and let him get on with it.

Rather than falling back into your old habit of hiding yourself in baggy clothes, you had actually decided to go for it in terms of dressing up - after all, if you were going out, you might as well make the effort. It had also occurred to you that maybe people were more likely to look at you if you looked out of place, one person in shapeless, baggy clothes in a whole club full of well-dressed people.

Mingi looked you up and down, appraising your outfit. You had chosen a short(ish) black skirt and a sparkly top which showed a nice amount of cleavage but not too much. You'd even broken out your push-up bra for added effect. The outfit was finished with a pair of black heels because if there was one thing you knew, it was that heels made your legs look slimmer. You'd even done the kind of make up you used to with eyeliner and subtle false eyelashes. Why not go all out? you thought; you'd forgotten how nice it felt to get dressed up.

Mingi smiled and gave you the nod so you were good to go. Hongjoong, knowing you would be nervous, made sure to tell you how good he thought you looked and the others all agreed in their own ways. Seonghwa, Yunho and Yeosang nodding in quiet agreement while Mingi, San and Wooyoung were more vocal about it. The only one who didn't say anything was Jongho - publicly, at least. It was only when the others were out of earshot that he quietly came closer,

"You look really nice tonight."

The blonde boy you'd grown so close to looked quite awkward but you still assumed it was because he didn't want the other boys to tease him again. Why else would he wait until the others couldn't hear him.

"Thank you, Jongho." You replied, feeling as awkward as he looked. "You look really good, yourself."

You looked at Jongho, dressed in black jeans and a dark blue button up shirt with his dark blonde hair parted to show his forehead, making his beautiful dark eyes looking bigger than usual because they were more on show. He looked amazing. He was so handsome it almost hurt.

You felt more awkward with Jongho's compliment...maybe because it meant more to you. You'd had a sneaking suspicion for the last few weeks that you were starting to like him as more than a friend but you'd tried to ignore it because you couldn't imagine it going anywhere. You'd witnessed him get angry when the others teased him about liking you and the only logical reason for that was that the thought of liking you was an unwelcome one.

It was true that Joong had said Jongho liked you but you were sure he was mistaken because of the distance he was keeping from you as well as his general moodiness recently. None of it mattered anyway because, as far as you could see, there was such a vast difference between Jongho and yourself that he couldn't possibly like you.

At best you were ordinary, nothing special at all but Jongho...he was ethereal. His smile was so cute that you couldn't help but smile back when you saw it and his eyes shone so brightly. Yet despite the cuteness he still had a maturity some of the older boys didn't. He was so strong, too and, to be honest, you found that really, really hot.

It wasn't just how he looked, though, Jongho was a wonderful person. He was clever and funny and he'd given you so much help and asked nothing in return. What would someone like that want with someone like you?

********

Clubs were as hot, sweaty and loud as you remembered. It had been some time since you'd gone to one - preferring to hide away at home than go out and be surrounded by people. That's depression's survival instinct...to cut you off from the world so you won't seek help. To keep you away from friends who could help you. Thank goodness for Hongjoong because he wasn't letting you get away with that and without him you'd still be hiding away. Miserable. Clubs might not be the most comfortable place for you due to the overcrowding but you knew that you'd be ok with Hongjoong by your side - as well as the other seven boys you'd now come to think of as 'yours'.

Maybe it was the fun of being out with them all but you'd found it easier than you'd thought to relax and enjoy yourself. You'd even managed to keep away from thoughts that anyone looking at you was judging you...until you noticed a guy at the bar had been looking for a bit too long. You were waiting for the bartender to get your drink and hoping he would do it more quickly so you could get back to the others but luck was not on your side and the guy started to approach.

"Hi."

You looked at the guy for a second. Tall, fairly good looking and he seemed friendly from his tone as he greeted you but you felt a little panicked, nonetheless.

"Umm...Hi." You managed nervously.

He smiled, "You looked really good dancing just now."

You waited for the smirk or laugh to reveal he was being sarcastic but it didn't come. You hadn't yet got to a place where you trusted people meant what they said but when nothing else was said and he appeared to have meant it you quickly thanked him. You'd left a longer gap than was normal before replying and now your worry was that he thought you were slow-witted.

"Are you with all those guys over there?"

"Yeah...they're my friends." You told him, glancing over and smiling.

"You're not going out with any of them?" He pressed on.

"No, we're just friends." You said, shaking your head.

"Ah. Well one of them is really glaring at me right now. I'd say he doesn't like me talking to you."

You looked in the same direction as the guy and, sure enough, saw Jongho looking very much less than friendly.

"Oh, we're quite close so he's probably just worrying about me. You are a stranger, after all." An awkward laugh left you - small talk was not your forte.

The man smiled back and looked about to say something more but the bartender finally returned with your drink.

"Well, it was nice meeting you." You said as you started backing away. You really wanted to be back with your boys; you were still far too socially inept to be in this kind of situation without back up.

"What did that guy want?" Jongho demanded as soon as you were back.

"Dunno...just being friendly, I guess."

The dark blonde scoffed while San jumped in to tease, "Ooh, Y/N's on the pull!"

"Don't be ridiculous, San!" You squealed in horror.

"I'm just saying..." the blonde continued, "...guys don't approach women in clubs because they want to be 'friends'." He emphasised that last word so you'd have no problem undersanding what he meant.

"I'm getting another drink." Jongho grunted before stalking off in the direction of the bar. You sighed. He still didn't seem himself.

"I'm sure he was just being nice." You said naively. It wasn't that you didn't know what men were usually after in clubs but you honestly didn't imagine anyone wanting that from you.

"Suuure he was." A deep voice cut in.

"Don't you start, Mingi!" Your new fashion adviser laughed as you scolded him. "All of you manage to be friends with me without wanting anything more so why can't he?"

Smiling smugly, you felt you'd won the argument until the tall brunette leaned in closer,

"We're all still men, though. I might be your friend but if you asked, I'd fuck you right now and I'm pretty sure one or two of the other guys would, too."

The only way to describe the look on your face was dumbfounded. That was absolutely not something you would've expected to hear from any of them.

"Whatever, I'm going to dance again."

It can't have been possible for you to look any more flustered as you headed back to the others on the dance floor, with Mingi's deep chuckle following behing you.

As the night wore on you really were enjoying yourself much more than you expected but that could have a lot to do with the amount of alcohol you had consumed so far. You were even relaxed to the point that you didn't notice the guy from the bar dancing next to you, getting closer and closer. Soon he was dancing with you but you didn't mind too much as long as he didn't start getting touchy. The attention was nice, at least. You vaguely thought back to what San had said and sighed internally because you didn't want him to have been right but you had to acknowledge it now. Maybe between Jongho's training and Mingi's outfits, they really had managed to make you look alright.

But men were disappointingly typical and, not long after getting close, the guy started to get handsy. You barely had time to turn around and tell him to stop before you felt his hands disappear suddenly. When you had turned you saw said man looking confused - and slightly pained - as one of his wrists was being held aloft by a very pissed off looking Jongho.

The guy looked at Jongho cautiously before saying, "Hey, I'm sorry man...I didn't realise she was your girl."

You could see why the guy was looking worried - Jongho looked pretty scary and you wondered just how tightly he was gripping the man's wrist.

Jongho let go but didn't stop glaring and the man backed away a little.

"She's not but don't you think you should still ask her before you start feeling her up?"

"Sorry...I didn't mean any harm." The guy answered, looking between Jongho's hard face and your quite confused one before walking away quickly. You turned back to Jongho; you really appreciated him looking out for you but couldn't understand why he was so angry.

"Jongho...what -"

"You shouldn't let random guys touch you like that, Y/N!"

You stared at him for a few seconds, a bit stunned until his sharp tone set off your own anger at being chided like that.

"I was turning around to stop him but, to be honest, it's not really any of your business who I let touch me!"

Jongho's eyes widened a little, taken aback by your reaction. You'd always had a temper but none of the boys except Hongjoong had ever seen you get angry. They only knew your milder, more timid side and the quickness in which you turned had taken them all by surprise. In your peripheral vision you could see the rest of them watching the exchange between the two of you.

The dark blonde collected himself and continued with a slightly less angry tone.

"These guys aren't good enough for you. It's just like San said, they only want one thing."

From the corner of your eye you saw San bristle slightly as if he really didn't want to be brought into this now.

"That's my decision to make, though, isn't it Jongho?" You hadn't softened much towards him - now you were free you didn't need another man telling you what to do.

"I know, I'm sorry..." He continued, more softly now, "...but you shouldn't be with guys like that."

"And you know exactly who I should be with?" You asked, sarcasm in your tone. "By all means tell me because I can't see men lining up to date me."

"Me."

"What?"

"You should be with me. I really like you, Y/N."

You stood in silence, trying to make sense of what he just said. Your mind recalled all the things you had previously dismissed as nonsense. Hongjoong telling you outright that Jongho liked you. Yeosang and Wooyoung teasing him about you. Had it not just been baseless teasing? He actually liked you?

Of course he doesn't like you. Who would want you?

"You don't like me." You said shaking your head. You didn't want to believe it because you couldn't trust it.

"I do. Let me show you." Jongho took a step closer and out of habit you fliched away from the closeness.

"What are you doing?" Slight alarm laced your tone.

"I'm going to kiss you." His tone added the silent 'of course'.

You froze at the words and Jongho noticed. It was out of surprise but he must've thought you didn't want him to as he started to look unsure of himself.

"If you don't want me to, all you have to do is say."

He paused, waiting for a 'no' that was never going to come. As much as you feared this was all some elaborate joke, you really did want this.

Hearing no protests, Jongho lifted his hands and placed them gently on the sides of your neck, his thumbs resting on your cheeks. Slowly he leaned down and pulled you closer. As you closed your eyes you prayed this was real and you weren't going to hear them all burst into laughter at any minute but before your fears could be realised, you felt Jongho's lips touch yours.

They were softer than you had imagined - and you had imagined it - and for someone so strong, he was remarkably gently. You could feel that he was being cautious as he didn't try to deepen the kiss, he just pulled back ever so slightly then reconnected, his lips moving softly against yours. When he did pull back to end the kiss, you kept your eyes closed a moment longer, not wanting it to end.

When you did open them you looked up at Jongho to find him looking back at you. He was searching your face for any sign that that wasn't what you had wanted and after a few moments he was satisfied he could see nothing and gave you a small, somewhat shy smile. Obviously having heard something behind him over the music, his smile disappeared and was replaced by a look of annoyance. Following where he looked you saw the seven other boys all looking at the two of you with varied emotions on their faces, ranging fron happiness and surprise to approval. They had all known he liked you while you had stubbornly refused to see it - even when you were told outright.

Jongho turned back to you with a softer look, "You wanna go somewhere quieter - away from everyone else?"

"Yeah...that'd be nice."

Jongho took your hand in his larger one and led you out of the club. He had touched you before, of course, but only when correcting your stance during workouts. This felt different. It made your heard beat faster and gave you butterflies..

You briefly looked behind you to the others, noting that they looked slightly disappointed that you were both going but they'd get over it.

You and Jongho ended up back in the same coffee shop that first time. It was late, though, so you had the whole place to yourselves. Despite that being the first time you had properly talked alone with him, this was much more nerve-wracking. This wasn't a situation you'd have thought would ever happen. Despite what had just happened in the club you still couldn't let go of your fear. It was as instinctive reaction for you now, to just assume the worst about everything and everybody no matter how good they seemed to be. Just like right now you were quite aware that the both of you had been drinking - had that played a part for him? Would he have kissed you if he hadn't been? And would he think it was a mistake tomorrow?

The butterflies flew around wildly as the dark blonde boy made his way back to the table with the drinks. As he placed the tray down on the table you saw he had also bought a slice of red velvet cake like last time and he smiled as he placed it down. You wondered if he was trying to recreate it that first 'date' of sorts. It had felt special to you - maybe he had felt the same.

Your thoughts were flying as wildly as the butterflies in your stomach, going from hopeful that Jongho really did like you to fear that he was going to say it was just because he had been drinking and he'd got carried away.

Sitting there you'd realised the full extent of your feelings for Jongho...did he feel the same? The look in his eyes was soft as he looked at you and smiled. God, you hoped this meant what you wanted it to. Either way, it looked like you were about to find out as he opened his mouth to speak...

#ateez #ateez x reader #ateez jongho #ateez x female reader #ateez choi jongho #atzinc #ateez angst #ateez fluff #ateez fanfic #choi jongho

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oh-for-fic-sake · 4 years

Text

Ghosting A Wayne

Masterlist

Warnings: Adult content +18 only!! Smut, Agegap, Swearing, A Little Angst?

A/n:Ok so this is the first real full smut iv done and im super nervous about posting this one i hope its good but if its shit im sorry hope you enjoyxx

After getting cold feet because of your own insecurities you get a visitor pick you up from work.

Ghosting A Wayne

You sighed as you pulled out a batch of cookies from the oven placing the three large trays out on the cooling racks today was a baking day to fill the display out the front ,you'd been alone with your thoughts all day and were just about done, glancing at the clock you fist pumped the air. Home time. You quickly undone your apron hanging it on the hook by the kitchen door then called out to Tom that your shift was done.

After your first lunch date with Bruce you intended to leave it there but the man was very persistent... and charming somehow he'd managed to talk you in circles and wrangle a second date and third and forth. you'd canceled your fifth using work as an excuse and he bought it for about a week, then he began asking when you were free telling you to call him giving you his personal number which you didn't call.

That worked for about three days before he began messaging you about a date you replied with excuses it seemed to work until he showed up at the door to drop Damien round instead of Alfred, Jack had covered for you not letting either of them in saying you were ill. It wasn't that you didn't like him or anything you were scared, scared of getting hurt he was amazing a perfect gentleman he made you laugh he took you to fancy places but didn't make you uncomfortable even going so far as to berate another guest as he heard them make a comment of the restaurant 'letting anyone in these days' when he was returning from the rest room , you felt special and safe with him.

But he was The Bruce Wayne and nothing would ever come of it. Someone like you had no right to be with someone like him, he deserved a high class well educated successful woman not a minimum wage cafe worker who dropped out of college. You found yourself growing to attached to him and it had frightened you. Not only that but what would people say when they found out, probably think your a charity case or a gold digger you could see the headlines now ' The playboys new sugar baby' with photos of you plastered across the tabloids you shivered.

Damien had spoke to you about it he was far to smart for his own good telling you your being a 'stupid female' and that you should just talk to Bruce about it, Jack also scolded you for being stupid and letting your insecurities hold you back.

The boy had been soo happy for you when you were going out with Bruce, he admitted that he felt responsible for you being alone and not having friends or a boyfriend it broke your heart, hearing how he blamed himself for it, yes it had been hard taking on a 8 year old at 20 years old and yes you did need to grow up quicker then most and avoid the typical early twenties drinking and clubbing but you wouldn't change a thing. When he had brought it up you both had a heart to heart and you were gobsmacked at just how mature he had soundec. He told you that he didn't care about Bruce being Damien's dad or that he was older than you, he was happy that you had someone who made you happy and wanted you to got out with him again and be happy. The boys didn't understand.

"Tom I'm finished don't touch the cookies before they cool you can have one to test but that's it theirs 48 here I've counted, so if you have anymore I will know its you, you greedy little shit" you said opeing the door you walked straight into him he was wide eyed pointing out to the font over his shouldet. You froze thinking the worst it was gotham afterall.

"Oh my god tom?"

"You have.. Out the there.... Man front" he said not making any sense you pushed past him through the door

"whats wron-"

"y/n!" you snapped your head to the counter seeing Bruce standing their ignoring the odd looks he received from the other few customers scattered about in the cafe. You slung your bag over your shoulder cradling your coat in the other hand cursing quietly. Scanning the cafe for a quick exit wanting to run. There was one way in and out and he was between you and the door. Giving in you plastered on a polite smile.

"Bruce what are you doing here?" you asked tentatively due to the blank look on his face unsure what mood he would be in after you ghosted him. Making your way around the counter he followed on the other side meeting you at the end.

"I wanted to take you out, Jack told me when you finished so I thought I'd come pick you up for dinner" you felt the gazes in the room shift from him to you and the whispers started. Bruce held out a hand taking your coat from you while you tried to come up with a reason not to your anxiety screaming at you to run. You sighed at him biting your lower lip raw he lifted a hand pulling it gently forcing you to release it. He smiled meeting your eyes trying to calm you.

"Bruce I don't feel like going out tonight can we reschedule?" hooking his arm around your waist guiding you out of the cafe past the gossiping customers opening the door for the both of you pressing himself to your back giving you no room to bolt away. Hed catch you anyway.

"Good news, we don't have to go out Alfred is making us dinner back home, so we get to have a relaxing night in." you nodded as you left walking down the street feeling your nerves spike as you realized there was no reason to avoid this. He kept pace with you to the side arms ready to dart out and catch you as you glanced around a little skittish he ushered you into a ridiculously expensive Lamborghini and took off down the road.

"So that's Tom then? the one you were talking about?" he started you were confused as he acted like you hadn't been avoiding him for the past week and half you just nodded.

"Err yeah that's him we get along work really well, I was doing all the baking today couldn't handle the customers they were doing my head in." he nodded placing a warm hand on your knee running his thumb in small circles you took a deep breath.

"I know what you mean, had a lot of meetings today with a bunch little men wanting me to over invest in companies that wont last the financial year" you tensed as he left his hand on your leg still navigating the traffic, you tried to shift your led from underneath him but he just followed squeezing it lightly making your breath hitch and clench your walls tight.

"Sh-shouldn't you have both hands on the wheel in a car like this?" you asked quietly he laughed giving you a mischievous look then you screamed as he let go of the wheel completely still picking up speed quickly.

"OH MY GOD BRUCE NO!" you cried leaning over grabbing it yourself he just laughed out loud placing one hand back on it the other still resting on your knee.

"Its fine I could probably drive this with my eyes closed, it's nothing like my other car" he said cheekily as he made his way towards the outskirts of gotham you swallowed nervously.

"yeah please dont do that"

"Don't worry I'd never let anything happen to you sweets" you blushed as he used the nickname he'd given you onde he found out about your sweet tooth and the fact you do all the baking at the cafe.

"He says after driving without hands." you scoffed looking out of the window as the scenery changed. It wasn't long before you pulled up to the manor. It was impressive you'd only been inside twice whilst waiting for Jack to get his things he thought it was the perfect place to hid from his dentist and doctors appointments. Once out of the car he lead you inside where Alfred greeted you both.

"Ah Master Wayne dinner will take another hour or so I'm afraid and Y/n its lovely to see you again." Bruce gave you both a look seeking an explanation for the first name basis.

"Have you met everyone in this house before me?" he asked sarcastically you smiled at him before Alfred took your coats hanging them up.

"Well sometimes the boys play about getting ready so Alfred comes in for tea whilst we wait and I've met Tim he has come over a few times drank my whole pot of coffee and left." he grunted before leading you to a small sitting room off to the side.

"We will be in here Alfred call us when dinner is ready." Alfred nodded smiling slyly before closing the door leaving you in private. You sat down on the leather sofa a nervous wreck looking around the opulent room feeling out of place, he took a seat beside you offering you a glass of what you assumed was scotch he sat and leaned in next to you. Relaxing as he took a slow sip of his drink.

"Don't look so worried the boys explained for you. Your scared of getting hurt I can understand that I don't exactly have the best record but I'm not giving up as you can tell."you looked down into your glass a little ashamed as you heard hurt laced in his words.

"I-its not that, its me I.. I love spending time with you I really do... but I dont think you should waste your time on me... thats all" he frowned you sounded so ...defeated , he didnt like it one bit placing his glass down putting two and two together. That he didn't know Damien said you were being a 'difficult woman' and Jack had said that you hadn't dated since school and were afraid of being hurt he summarised that it was because of him but it sounds like there was more to it then that. Bruce took a deep breath regarding you carefully.

"Waste my time? why would spending time with you be a waste. There is something between us, I have never felt this type of pull to a woman before and I'm quite determind to see you if you havent already noticed" he said sternly you shrunk into the sofa he sighed pulling the glass tumbler from you hand.

"Whats really going on? we were going fine then you just pulled back. I want this, us and I know you do to but we have to talk to each other." You leaned forward locking eyes with him feeling overwhelmed you shook your head pulling back he followed leaning back pulling you across the seat wrapping his arms around you pulling your face into his chest holding you, you tried pulling yourself off of him but he was to stronger than he looked. You Gave up then took a deep breath endulging in the closeness breathing him in.

"Talk to me please" he spoke quietly into your hair

"I cant, I just cant, your-I, you need someone better. And if people find out then what will they think? that I'm a charity case some passing fancy? that you'll get bored with and you will bruce. When you find some older succsessfull women who equals you. someone that I can never be for you. I wont be good enough for you and you'll see it one day" once you started you couldn't stop as the words kept coming your fears poured out after being kept bottled up since that very first date.Fears of loving him and then him leaving, or of what backlash Jack could face if you were painted to be a whore trying to capture Bruces attention, the cps could investigate if it seemed like you were becoming a party girl like what Bruce typically dated. Then there was the fact that the school could start being funny if word got out that you and bruce were together. But the main reason was that he was to good for you and you knew it. You heaved a breath feeling lighter yet your stomach churned he had been quiet throughout and you'd gotten yourself worked up shaking from your anxiety feeling sick to your stomach.

"I'm sorry I know I should have spoke to you instead but I... I was scared that you were going to realize I'm right and leave ...so" he hushed you rubbing your back lightly causing you to shiver and relax onto his chest.

"So you left before I could?" you flinched then nodded it sounded so petty when said out loud he moved sitting up a bit more dragging you with him not releasing you for a second, he would have preferred if it had all been about his past but now realized you had low self esteem you had fears about the future, the age gap, Jacks future and how people would judge you all of these fear were to blame. And he understood it must be daughting, but what got him most was that you thought he'd let you deal with it alone , that you were so scared of loosing him in the long run you tried to walk away now and that was all the proof he needed that you did feel somthing for him.

"Tell me something does Jack have a problem with you being with me?" he asked you shook your head instantly.

"No he loves it, he wants me to be with you he saw how happy I was he has been pestering me to call" he pulled his head away smiling confusing you.

"I can tell you that Damien is thrilled he has even been bragging to his brothers that I've found the perfect woman and they cant wait to meet you by the way the

and he threatened me before every date to 'not to fuck it up' so let me ask another question if Jack, Damien me and you are happy what does anyone else's opinion matter? it's our life why should we make ourselves miserable over a few tabloids that can be taken to court and be corrected? and I do have reporters that I trust with these type of stories one is a very close friend who I could give an exclusive to before any rumors get around and the press make up some nonsense. Not only that I know Clark wold print the truth if he knew that it involved the boys being bullied in the school." he let you pull back shocked you didnt think he would want anyone to know, you thought hed be ashamed of you.

"wh-what?" it was bearly a whisper but he heard it.

"You heard me sweets, Clark wouldn't let me down not with this and there are other reporters who I've trusted to cover stories of the boys in the past one phone call and I would have everything sorted and anyone who tries to make this something its not will feel the full force of my legal team." he leaned in giving you no time to reply kissing you deeply invading your mouth moaning into you. His tongue dominated your mouth taking your breath away he paused pulling you to straddle his waist you blushed looking down at him.Trying to put your weight on your knees conscious of your weight Bruce not having any of that tugged harshly pulling your weight on his thighs.

"And as for finding someone better I doubt it. I've said it before and I will say it again I want you. Not some stuck up model who's one surgery away from being on botched. The day we met I was floored and for the first time I saw what I truly wanted for me and my family. And it wasn't some highly educated business woman, no it was a sexy little mama bear who treated my son as her own." you gasped as he brought your hips closer resting you on his crotch before leaning forward capturing your lips again this time slow and deliberate pouring himself into it you, you moaned quietly as he rocked you across his groin. Pulling back for air

"So little miss now we have all that cleared up is there anything you want to add?"

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" you gasped out trying to collect yourself as you began getting tearful as you felt stupid for being so silly yet relieved that he hadn't thrown you out, he chuckled shushing you then moved biting at your earlobe .

"That's ok love I'm sure you'll make it up to me" he said kissing down your neck biting below your ear then lower to your pulse point feeling it race under his tongue before sucking harshly bordering on painful.

"o-OH Bruce" you gasped gripping his shoulder trying not to lean back to far and fall he noticed using and arm to hold you elbow resting on your waist curling his fingers into your low bun pulling slowly stretching your neck before him leaving marks up it you groaned closing your eyes trying to rub your thighs together as your pussy grew hot and clenched dampening your panties he ran his nose down your neck kissing your collar bone lightly.

"Aww sweety so desperate hm?" you whined squeezing his hips between your thighs again grinding softly against him he chuckled biting the top of your breast running his tongue along your cleavage unbuttoning your blouse with deft fingers then returned them to your hips pushing you harshly on his erection you cried out looking down panting as he dragged you slowly back and forth feeling him through his trousers was almost to much you fisted your hands in the crisp shirt covering his shoulders. He let out a breathy growl smug as you started trying to rock on him faster pouting when he held you controlling your pace circling you slow on his bulge dipping his thumbs into your pelvis tilting you catching your clit with every pass of your hips you shook your head eyes tightly shut.

"OH fuck shiiitt Bruce" he watched eyes blown as he built you up slowly drinking in your flushed face pouty full lips forming an 'o' as you let out high pitched cries his hands smothered your breasts squeezing them in his palms testing them before he tipped the cups down teasing your pink nipples to attention. You opened your eyes glazed over pleading with him.

"Please Bruce... I dont-fuck" you moaned high and louder almost squeeling as he pinched one of your nipples refusing to let go pulling your chest towards him by it until he could lay a sweet kiss to the other suckling catching it between his teeth nipping it letting go with a loud pop. You panted harder as he toyed with you, your body trembled as he pulled you closer to the edge your clit rubbed harshly against him and he growled relishing in the way your heat seeped onto him. He couldn't wait. He wouldn't. With a one sweeping motion you found yourself lying on the sofa with him hovering over you pulling your leggings down over your hips skimming your quivering thighs with his knuckles befor rubbing your calves and griping your ankles encircling them effortlesly, running his thumbs across the inside of them . Following bending as he went kissing your soft stomach and pelvis finally leaving a small kiss on your mound over your panties you moaned at that. He slipped your leggings off taking your flats with them you blushed as he stared seeing the wet patch you'd left on your panties crawling back up you exploring with his hands the whole way. Hooking a hand around to back of your neck he pulled you up into a bruising kiss needy as he angled his head to devour you deeper his other hand dragging your shirt from you by the back of the neck unclipping your bra and he went lowering you back down you blushed trying to cover yourself he growled pinning them beside you.

"Nooo you dont babe, let me see, show me" he ground out a deep gruntle sound that vibrated threw you trailing the tips of his fingers from your throat down in slow unpredictable patterns leaving goosebumps in his wake your nipples pebbled as he past them your whole body shuddered

"Fuck. Your stunning" you didn't meet his gaze it was to hot, posessive like he was claiming you already just with his eyes watching closely memorizing every freckle and mark on your skin, he let out a deep shuddering breath when you arched up inyo him as he fingered the bow on the waist band of your panties back and forth he brought his fingers lower and lower across your mound. You squirmed trying to buck up against him trying to get him where you desperately needed him whimpering pitifully. His response was to stretch out his fingers across your lower tummy and push you back down holding you still. You protested as his warm hand covered your whole mound and rocked forward trying to catch your clit on the heal of his palm that rested just out of reach.

"Such a greedy little thing. I think I'm going to have to work on your manners" he chided before using a hand to unbutton his shirt revealing a perfectly sculpted torso, you made a noise in the back of your throat that you didn't recognize at the sight of him, caramel skin taught over deliciously defined muscles and small thatch of hair disappearing below a teasingly low hanging trousers he let the shirt slide to the floor undoing his belt then slowly pulled his trousers over his hip grunting thrusting forward as it glided over his cock. You bit your lip still trying to move against his heavy hand he granted you a little mercy twisting as the wrist slotting his thumb between your lips seeking your clit and rubbing a figure 8 hard.

"AHH! F-Fuck BRUCE yes oh god-" you gasped deep breaths as he rolled your cilt around almost rough in his ministrations the fabric of you panties hieghtend the sensation you closed your eyes grinding yourself down on him tears leaked from them his other hand came up to your throat forcing you to face him.

"Look at me baby. come on let me see you... ah there she is good girl" he praised as you looked at him tears clinging to your lashes his hand still working you. Sobbing incoherently trying to buck up to him.

"OH fuck please-PLEASE let me come bruce please I'll do anything PLEASE" you breathed out hoarse gasping when your pussy weeped wetting the sofa below you he played you like an instrument taking you higher and higher you clenched and withered as you felt that familiar burn of an orgasm start in your lower tummy , almost cramping as it traveld lower to your pussy you chased it trying to rock harder just as you were at the presapice he stopped pulling his thumb away bit still pinned you down.

"AH! NO Br-BRUCE come back" you sobbed reaching out for him as your body hummed hot and quivering you gave up on finding his hand throwing yours between you trying to take over and force yourself over the edge. Soo close. Bruce was quicker catching them in one hand pulling them above you head. He watched waiting for you to come down from the almost high. Pouting all the way.

"You can count that as your punishment babe" he whispered huskliey into your neck kissing at the marks he has left. You cried out frustarated sweaty and exhasted.

"But im feeling a little mercifull tonight." you looked at him from below your lashes his heart skipped a beat seeing you look at him so needy and ready you looked so small,he could do anything to you right now but only wanted one thing. Shuffling back leaning down he placed an open mouthed kiss on your panties slipping his fingers in the sides draging them off before standing removing his boxers freeing his erection you gasped as it bounced up tapping his stomach ,hesitantly you reached out running a single finger along the underside from tip to base he jerked forward when you cupped him testing your grip befor stroking him he stopped you

"Fuck sorry babe but I cant wait." he growled out pinning you back down running his weeping head up and down your slit you tensed as he probed your enterance. Sensing your nerves he locked lips with you coaxing out your tongue sucking on it before licking in your mouth makeing obscene noises feeling you relax he took the chance and slowly begun stretching you around him ,you gasped at the slight sting pulling back rest your forehead on his grunting softly as he kept a slow steady pressure finally knocking his hips with yours you panted feeling your walls fluttering around him then squeezing

"shit Bruce" he huffed out a laugh flexing in response

"carefull there babe" you grunted feeling stuffed full as his head pushed against your cervix.

"Bruce please...HUrry up!" you clenched him stealing his breath from him he gave a playfull glare you felt a little tremor of apprehension as he repostioned your legs higher on his hips placing your heels into his lower back before plowing you into the sofa grunting and growling as his thrusts rocked your body you were by no means quiet as the veins on his cock massaged your walls with delicious friction he slowed then pressed himself tight against your clit rotating catching your gspot you bucked violenty against him head thrown back as you wailed he leaned up sucking and biting at your neck then resumed finding a brutal pace aiming for your gspot hitting it with pinpoint accuracy. You shook your head screaming out uncontrollably bucking begging for him to go harder, faster just wanting more. It wasn't long befor you saw stars letting out a silent scream tensing before you snapped cumming around him almost blinded as he rode you through it still hitting your spot faster if that was even possible before stuttering his hips holding himself tight locking you both together as he flooded you.

"OH GOD fuck FUCK yesyesyes good girl yes fuck" he moaned as you lay beneath him, limp body still quacking in the aftermath of your own end. He stayed still until he was soft catching his breath recovering before you removing himself he sat back on his knees watching as he leaked from you quick to scoop his cum and press it back within you, you whined still painfully oversensitive trying to pull away from his invading fingers. he chuckled as you squirmed utterly spent.

"nooo bruce" you whined as he prodded your freshly fucked pussy lighly grazing your abused clit causing you to whine at him pitifully jolting with every swipe.

"Aww baby are you sore?" you pouted at his words nodding he got up sitting you up handing you your forgotton drink you took it gulping it down ignoring the burn. he retrived his boxers throwing them on then a soft blanket covering you before scooping you up heading for the door.

"Bruce? what are you doing?" you asked gorgily already struggiljng to stay awake he leant down shutting you up with a kiss.

"We are going to bed you need some sleep before we continue." you blinked

"wha?" he grinned cheekily

"well how are we going to build up your stamina if we dont push past your exhaustion?" you almost cried just wanting to sleep.

"What about Alfred dinner?" you questioned

"He didnt make any I had to have a reason to get you here didnt I? he went to bed. and dont worry about Jack he is staying over in a room next to Damien's" you looked at him shocked

"What why was he here? do you think he could have heard me? bruce!" you panicked suddenly fully awake trying to wiggle out of his grip he laughed kissing your face.

"Oh my god what about our clothes? Bruce go back and shit we made a mess i need to clean that up..Bruce are you listening?" You created as he continued further away from the room youd just soild.

"he didnt hear you at all it was one of his demands when we planned this. And dont worry about the room or the clothes alfred will take care of it" he said scaling the stairs with ease taking you to his room

"planned? you who else knew? And what do you mean alfred will take care of it? no absolutly not that is embarassing" you argued as he kicked the door to his room shut behind him depositing you on his bed following you down landing above you kissing you again.

"me alfred damien and jack planned it but dick and jason knew too thats why they are scarce and alfred has cleard up worse trust me." he explained you stared at him in horror

"My little brother set me up with you?oh my god I'm not going to live that down and i need to clear that up its to embarassing for alfred to see" you cried he laughed out loud.

"Well I think its was worth it, and you can try and beat Alfred to it but that room will be ccleared up before sunrise and you won't be leaving this bed before then" he said snuggling up with you under the cover ,you made a noise as he tucked you into his chest his heart beat calming you making you drift into a peaceful sleep resting on his chest, feeling safe and sound wrapped up in him as he traced patterns on your back, sighing he was finally content a peace he hadnt known befor washed over him satisfied that he had found the woman that would complete his family, his chest swelled as he placed a kiss on your head. He wasn't ever letting you go now that he had you here. Glancing over at the clock, hed give you an hour or so to build up some energy before he woke you smirkjng to himslef planing all the wicked ways he was going to toy with you during the night. Oh yes the night was young and if Bruce had his way you wouldnt be leaving his bed tomorrow because you wouldnt be able to, thankfully you hade a few days off so he might let you recover. Then again he might not.

#bruce wayne imagine #bruce wayned fic #bruce wayne x reader #batmom imagines #batman x y/n #bruce wayne smut #bruce wayne x y/n #bruce wayne x you #dc x y/n #dc x reader

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fantranslatorbychoice · 4 years

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Kakuriyo no Yadomeshi Volume 6 Chapter 2- The Village Hidden in Hyakumemomiji** Part 1

T/N: OK Kakuriyo Fam-fans, how are you all doing? Did the last chapter surprise you? Anyways, I wasn't surprised, Odanna-sama always takes Aoi out on a food trip date (dang it, when's my turn lololol even I am tired of eating just white rice at times T_T) so yeah, I guess autumn fruits sound good.

Anways, I sorta started doing a speed run of this chapter because I got too-excited with the date, and I tried letting out this translation as fast as I can, and hopefully by the end of the chapter you'll see why I wanted to speed run this mofo lololol

As always, I mostly didn’t translate a lot of the names of the ayakashi/youkai, as well as the proper nouns because uhm... They’re basically nouns. It’s like how some translated manga are done. Plus it irks me sometimes when everything just gets transliterated, it kills off the vibe. But that’s just me. Links to references at the end of the post.

Also if you like this translation, you can share the link, reblog, but for pete’s sake DO NOT REPOST ELSEWHERE. I worked hard to finish this thing, it’s not like I just Google-translated this whole sh**..

If you need refreshers on what happened, @kakuriyo-translations already had the previous translations. I’ll place a tiny index in this post somewhere, to make that easy. I’m just contributing to this fandom. Also, as previously mentioned in my other post, the 2 seasons of the anime cover volumes 1-5, so if you need a review just rewatch them all. Volume 6 starts here.

P27 "A date with Odanna-sama, huh..." Yesterday's rice cooking events felt like a daze, and I felt that fairly it hasn't sunk in yet, and waking up early just made me realize it. The lovely chirping of the little birds just annoyingly grated my ears. The distinct skin-chilling coldness of autumn is also piercing my body. Incidentally, I'm also a bit nervous. "It's.... It's not a big deal, it's not unusual that I'm going on a date with Odanna-sama. Yeah." We went to Youto and ate offal hotpot, we ate chicken tempura in Gintengai, and in the port of the Southern lands we ate donburi with pickled toppings... No matter how many times Odanna-sama and I went out, why am I nervous after all this time? This is weird. Could it be that I'm going down with an illness? Firstly, I opened the shutters of the veranda, to breathe in the early morning air... "Aoi! Let's go now!" P28 "What the.. It's early! Odanna-sama you're early!" The busy bee that uneasily goes here and there and everywhere and has no free time Odanna-sama has already come here. It seemed that he cut across the inner garden towards the veranda. If so, he must have beavered to get here with incredible flexibility. But I'm still wearing my pajamas! "Speaking of, Odanna-sama.. Are you going out looking like that?" Odanna-sama changed his appearance into a younger one, like what he looked liked before, as a fish monger, and his kimono wasn't spectacular, he just looked like a commoner. "That was fast. The face I usually have in Tenjin-ya is too recognizable. What's more, Aoi is the only one that found me out, now this date isn't fun anymore." "I... I'm sure..." Although, if it's through this appearance I felt a bit nervous too. At any rate, this handsome Odanna-sama may be handsome, but the nobleman aura isn't here. Even Orio-ya's Young Mistress Nene only said that he looked reliable-ish. "But Odanna-sama, in spite of this, even this is way too early for Ayakashi! I haven't even prepared anything yet." "I'll wait for you here while you get ready." "You're not busy? Odanna-sama has some free time?" P29 "It's because it's been a very long time since I had a whole day free. Even though Byakuya has been nagging me to get some break already, I just feel that I mustn't. I may have worked too much during the matter with Orio-ya. That dude Raijuu. It seemed that he used some people from the capitol. One way or another, it smells like that all over." "Smells like that.. All over?" What does that mean? The matter in Orio-ya, the circumstance that accompanied the Southern lands, the ceremony that no one spoke of and secretly kept in the back-burner. The sea that lies in between Tokoyo and Kakuriyo wherein every 100 years an Ayakashi called Umibouzu arrives, a peculiar Ayakashi that is received and welcomed. In that ceremony, Raijuu made a disturbance and I got hindered, but borrowing everyone's strength and cooking the Sea Jewel Appetizers while bearing all that, we were able to entertain and serve the Umibouzu. I know that Odanna-sama worked hard for me, but there were many things that I don't know, could there be more things hidden? That Raijuu, I wonder if he's doing anything else right now? "Hey, Aoi, don't go absent-mindedly prepare when getting ready. Would you want to go out in your sleepwear?" When he said that, him egging me on, I went inside the room to prep up... "No, but what should I wear?" In front of me is the kimono that Odanna-sama gave me, but it's too elegant and it won't fit fruit picking. P30 There's also the blue kimono that I used back in Orio-ya, but it's too summery. "Hm?" I opened the wooden cabinet, and I became aware that there was a kimono that I haven't seen before. It was solidly very autumn, a deep red kimono, and a soft mustard yellow obi. It was laid on top of it. It looks of good quality, but it looks light and simple to wear, it's going to be easy to move in it. "Please use this on your date with Odanna-sama. Matsu, Take, Ume." The letter on it... It's the three Nopperabou sisters usual business! "I'm thankful but.. why is there a feeling of eagerness?" I closed the sliding doors of the veranda and changed clothes. From beyond the sliding doors's side, I could hear Odanna-sama chatting with the palm-top Kappa Chibi, who just came back from taking a morning bath. "Ah.. Ogre-shaaan is heeeere" "Isn't taking a bath in autumn chilly, Chibi?" "Ish not really that coooold. In Utsushiyo, the raging wavesh were mush coldeeeer. Ish eashier in heeere." "Aren't you strong... That can only be expected from Aoi's disciple..." "Yeahhh but my beak ishhh chattering... Ish very very coooold..." P31 "Come here. The ogre-fire will warm you up." It seemed that the seemingly calm and composed but eventually got cold Chibi was warmed up by Odanna-sama's ogre-fire. Somewhat somehow, after changing clothes I attached the flower bud kanzashi in my hair. "The petals have opened up considerably now..." I talked to the petals. Gah, I don't know if talking to the petals is a good thing... My impatience doesn't wane, with regards to the flower has blooming. I wanted to see the flowers open up into a round wheel, but the petals will scatter if it does. "Aoi-shaaaan! I am hungryyyy..." Chibi flungs the sliding door open and enters the room. And speaking of, I haven't made breakfast yet. "Say, Odanna-sama, you want to eat breakfast? We have a lot of cold rice left, we can make some onigiri. We can eat while we're walking." "Aoi's hand-rolled meals? Yes, that sounds good." I have just finished changing clothes, but I already wore my apron and went to the kitchen and made onigiri. I mixed the plum and Hijiki seaweed into the onigiri, and packed a lot of the salmon flakes into the onigiri wrapped in nori. There were also eggs left, so I made them into rolled omelette. P32 There's no dashi, no onions, just plain omelette. I added salt and sugar, and some mayonnaise as a faint flavoring. I cut cucumbers and pickled daikon and skewered them with toothpicks, and added these to the sides. The simple onigiri bento box is now done. I wanted to make some with more variety, but I can't make Odanna-sama wait. Today we're going with "simple is best." I stuffed everything in a box, wrapped it in cloth and brought it out with me. "I'm sorry Odanna-sama. Did you wait long?" Odanna-sama was lying down in the veranda and smoking his pipe, while listening to Chibi's stories about playing in the pond. It was about a crawfish, then about a pond skater. Whatever it was about, it's fine. "Nooo, it's not bad to wait for the new wife as she readies herself. Teehee." "Then what are you so happy about?" Odanna-sama stood up, said "Alright, let's go!" and held out his hand. I bewilderedly took his hand, and got supported as I wore my geta sandals. Along with the kimono I'm still not used to, I felt anxious of tumbling down. "Ahhh... Aoi-shaaan and Ogre-shaaaan, where are you goiiiiing? Take me along tooooo." "Well, that sounded miserly..." Even though he was always playing alone, Chibi always wants to be taken along. P33 "When you want to come with, you can come, Chibi. You'll be eating your favorite grapes." "Grapeshhh..." Chibi jumped from the veranda and onto my back. I realized that he was climbing my back as he went "Heave, ho, heave ho." "Say, Odanna-sama, are we going in the airship again?" "Ah, yes. But this time, we're not boarding one with the Tenjin-ya's crest because we'll be hiding, so we'll use the smaller ships. This time the fruit orchard Hyakumeyama, which lies in the connecting lands of the north and northeast will be our destination. The place has farms and is quiet, and you can go pick and harvest fruits at ease and in all diligence." In a bit as we went off, Odanna-sama brought me to the place where the ship was set in anchor. In that place, the Young Master Ginji-san and the Chief Accountant Byakuya-san were there, and it seems that they were going to see us off. Byakuya is a Hakutaku Ayakashi, and is Tenjin-ya's REAL Second Leader. On one hand where he's holding a fan, looked like he was tapping it on the other hand, and he seems to be in a bad mood. "Odanna-sama, don't go too far for your rest and relaxation at nightfall, it's quite perilous. That dummy Raijuu seems to be somehow releasing his stench from the capitol. Do you understand?" "Byakuya, don't be nervous. I know and I'm already serious about it." "If so, then that's nice. You too, Aoi-kun." P34 "Y.. Yes!" I unconsciously replied to Byakuya when he called my name, and it flew out of my head. "Yugao's income this month is very good, and for that I salute you. Nonetheless, you must not lose focus, try to learn to understand that when you go out, then come back here. Keep in mind that, and while at it, don't trouble Odanna-sama." "Y.. Yes!" I unconsciously bowed. It's better to listen to Byakuya-san's words. "Hey hey Byakuya. It's a rare rest and relaxation day. Don't make Aoi think about work." "Oh, don't worry Odanna-sama. I was just telling her what I intend to do." "Oh, I see." Odanna-sama looked at the clear autumn sky. "Aoi-san, be careful outside, whatever you will be doing. Odanna-sama, leave Tenjin-ya's care to me in your stead." Ginji-san was grinning and side-smiling. He seems to be his usual and formal self. "Ginji, please take care of business. Byakuya, if there's anything contact me." "Yes, I know, Odanna-sama." P35 Ginji-san and Byakuya-san, the two higher-ups in the management team bowed their heads deeply, and as we boarded the airships they sent us off. As the airship was rising into the clear sky, we bathed in the afternoon sunlight on the ship's wooden deck. The sunlight was warm, despite the cold breeze. It was a really good atmosphere. "Ahhh. Odanna-sama, the weather's good. It's great that it's clear." "Yes. That said, let's eat breakfast, Aoi." "That was hasty, Odanna-sama..." Sitting on the ship's deck's benches, we immediately opened the onigiri bento boxes. While in that great mood, the arranged onigiri tastes good. This was yesterday's scattered rice, and yet adding salt in this onigiri changed its taste. More than anything, eating this outside was a good idea. "The omelette is also good. It's simple, but it suits the onigiri." "You think so? A lot of various things are always added and used, but this time I only added a few seasonings. Because the cassowary's egg is wonderful, the onigiri which has a lot of stuff is already good. But because I added mayonnaise to the egg as a subtle flavor, just adding salt makes it mellow, doesn't it?" I was talking about a lot of things, and Odanna-sama was just enjoying his food and smiling. "Teehee. Surely it's because it's hand made by Aoi. It's warm and feels like home." That Odanna-sama that day, he was very friendly and easy to talk to. P36 That person's impression has definitely changed. No, he did not change, he was probably like that as an ogre since the very beginning. I only noticed that he was such, whenever we met, and talked about heavy things. "But really, I thought that it was better if I made more in variety..." Also, instantly,because the opportunities are rare, I thought that if I'm going to do it, I should concentrate on making various bento kinds. Basically, for Odanna-sama I haven't made any food by hand. No, when it comes to those times, I have made more for the other employees than for Odanna-sama. "Don't worry about it. Just do what you usually cook. In those times, aren't the food that you didn't think about much also taste good? It's because in 10 minutes, they’re already delicious." "The food that I.. didn't think much about?" Probably because lately, the food and drinks that I served were continuously served everyday. Before coming to Kakuriyo, Grandpa and I only cooked for ourselves, home-cooked meals. When I came here, it changed because I served food for the Ayakashi. Even though I felt nervous here and there, my skills improved as I kept doing it, and in that time I was able to learn how to cook freely. Because of that, I was able to feed myself and my family.. "Aoi-shaaan, cucumber..." "Oh, sorry Chibi, here you go.." P37 I handed him over the sliced cucumber and pickles stuck on the toothpicks. Then Chibi held those in both hands, and like in a daze started munching and crunching on them. Even though I was nervous early in the morning, I felt comfortable and carefree right now. The evidences are because of me bringing the onigiri and the bento boxes without thinking much.

"Welcome, Tenjin-ya's Odanna-sama. Yugao's Aoi-dono." The smiling face of the owner who greeted us at the entrance of the fruit orchard looks familiar. Once, previously, we met at Gintengai... Could it be.. It's Rokusuke-san, the Rokurokubi. Even in Yugao, we use the fruits from Rokusuke-san's business Mizumakinouen. "Hello, Rokusuke-san." "Aoi-dono, thank you very much for always patronizing our Mizumakinouen's fruits." "Rokusuke-dono, thank you for taking care of us. I am just a commoner today, because we are doing these in secret. You don't have to be so humble." "I understand, Odanna-sama. Today we're only open for half a day, so I think there will be less visitors. Uhm.. Oh, you can see the momiji autumn leaves on the side of the mountain over there." Rokusuke-san stretched his neck towards the mountain to check, and as he moved towards a tree trunk he showed to us the place. P38 "Alright then, please come this way." We finally went inside the fruit orchard. The first portion of the fruit orchard that we went into, was the grape vineyard. "Woooow!" A canopy above our heads hanging like ivy, these drooping, purple grapes look like drops of water seemingly about to burst. They look so fresh, the colors make them look like jewels. The viney canopy allows the autumn sunlight to pierce through, and the gentle air space is filled with a mysterious life force. "This is awesome, Odanna-sama! The grapes are just so impecable!" "The size of each of these grapes are Kakuriyo's biggest and sweetest, the variety is called Daishisui. Lately, Rokusuke-san says that this seedless variety has been selling very well in the market." "For sure.. In Utsushiyo too, I've seen some seedless grapes, I wonder if the skin in these ones are edible too." "The skin isn't edible. But they're easy to peel. Let's go pick some." "Really, they look like Concord grapes, I was thinking of making some grape tarts, I wonder if they're suitable..." The grapes with seeds are really good when used, but how can these seedless grapes be said to be easier to eat, as well as easier to be used for cooking?** T/N. Yeah, I mean, the seedy ones get easier made into jams due to having more pectin, so I agree with you Aoi, I don't know any other use for seedless grapes other than turning them into raisins. The seedy grapes are, in my opinion tastier, juicer, and have more uses. But that's just my opinion lol P39 The grape's main tree is not that tall, and I could easily have fun gathering them. The farm's assistants gave me scissors, and I started to trim the bunches off the trees. These were profoundly heavy, and I was having so much fun gathering them. Store-bought grapes had nothing on these ones. After picking a lot of grapes, I couldn't resist eating one. I was shocked. "Uwahhh! It's very sweet! Odanna-sama, the grapes are very sweet, they're so delicious!" "You tried them right away?" Immediately after I ate one, the fruit's peel was a tad hard-textured, but the grape just burst in my mouth and the juice's rich taste surprised me, it wasn't that sour but the sweetness levels were high. These grapes were picked at ambient temperature, but the taste and texture were still straight up enjoyable. This is a really good product. "Aoi-shaaaan, I want to slurp some grapesh tooooo." "OK, I'll get it." Chibi got hold of a bunch of grapes and hung on one. He went with a grape, and deftly using his beak started peeling off one portion of it, before slurping up and sucking on the juice and munching on it. Chibi holding onto a grape is somehow cute. P40 "Next up are apples. We're going to go buy some to bring home as give-aways for everyone back in Tenjin-ya." "Apples, huh. There are many preservation methods for them, they store up for long time, and many varieties of recipes can be made with them. I want to buy lots for myself too." Hauling the baskets that Rokusuke-san entrusted to us, we went further away to pick some apples. The apple orchards were further inside the premises, away from the grape orchards. The trees were a bit taller than Odanna-sama. All around the trees’ silhouettes, these bore a lot of fruits. "Uwah, they're really very red!" Those apples look so lovely and so tasty. The red color was so deep, and I love the smooth, round shape. Those hanging on the tree look so gorgeous, but I couldn't help but be very interested as to how these will taste. I trimmed one off with scissors, scrubbed the freshy-picked apple's skin and wiped it, and bit into it with haste. While chewing it, the juice's sweetness and sourness spread across my mouth as well as it's strong fragrance. The fruit was crisp and made crunching sounds, as the liquid lightly pulls away. Truly, this were what's called apples. "Are they sweet, Aoi?" "Yes! The insides are sweet, there's hints of sourness, but the flavor is very deep. For sure, this are of Mizumakinouen's best quality. Oh, Odanna-sama, those apples look like they're of a different variety, let's go there, let's go over there!" P41 "Calm down, Aoi..." Odanna-sama accompanied me going here and there. There were so many varieties of apples in the orchard, each one's taste and sweetness were a bit different, and we ended up trying everything. "Hey look, Odanna-sama. Up there on the mountain a bit, there are also more apple trees!" I discovered that on that different place, the were other growing apple trees. Just about all of the trees in the orchard were basically grown in a detached and open portion of a plateau, but when the adjoined mountain is climbed up a little, trees with seemingly fresh apples can be seen. The pink mixed with the saturated red color makes those apples shine brightly. "That's a variety of mountain apples." "Is that different from normal apples?" "Mountain apples are a bit more sour, and the fruits are hard. Up until now, those fruits are entirely inedible, but just sometime ago, Mizumakinouen has started to sell liquor made out of mountain apples. It's still an unknown product but previously, Rokusuke-san brought a bottle to Tenjin-ya, and we tasted some out yesterday. Ginji and I tried it out as we welcomed some guests." "Speaking of that, both of you were tipsy yesterday..." P42 "It's not exactly that much, but it's easy to get drunk." "Whh-at?" Mountain apple liquor. I'm interested but... I have not so good memories about liquors. Sometime ago, I had a very bad experience with the Tengu's secret sake. That has traumatized me until now, and I have never drank and liquor from then on. "Ahaha, your face stiffened. For sure, after drinking that liquor and getting drunk, you'll feel it for two days after drinking, and the next day when you wake up your mood will be better.. On the night before this rest day I drank just one cup, and I felt like my health got better. Mizumakinouen's brand-new product is something that you'll buy again and again." "Odanna-sama, you don't just merely "drink and try it out." "Ginji also likes it, I'll buy some for him as a souvenir." Just saying that, Odanna-sama just floods with elegance. I went up to where the mountain apples were, just to check. The fruits were larger than I thought. I tried biting on it, it was more sour than sweet, and the flesh was harder. "This isn't just for liquors, this can also be used for jams too." When this is boiled down with sugar, the sourness won't easily disappear, and that's a good thing. Even though the small basket on my back was already full, I tossed the mountain apples into the large basket on Odanna-sama's back. P43 Nevertheless... "Odanna-sama, the commoner's look you have now, you really come off as a plebeian. You really look good with that apple basket, you know." "You're starting to tell me that about me looking like a commoner, Aoi?" Even though I said, that, Odanna-sama seems to be ecstatic. "Let's leave this orchard in a bit. Our baskets are already full." "Ehhh? Let's stay for ten more minutes..." In a corner of the fruit orchard, it seems like there's a small hut that has a fire and is making some jam, and Odanna-sama and I started heading over there. Inside Odanna-sama's basket, in front of me, Chibi was scampering about and I could see Chibi playing with some apples. While inside the large pile of apples, he seems to be playing inside a maze. "Chibi, don't play with the apples too much." "OK, I geeet it. I'm a very shmart Ayakashiiiiii, I won't treat theeeshe appleshhh harshhhlyyyy." However, while Chibi was squirming about, an apple rolled and fell off the basket. "Awww, I made one faaallll ouuuuuut." Chibi popped his face out of the basket, and seemingly unashamed of his wreckless behavior stared at the falling apple, while I chased the apple in a panic. P44 That red apple, I was going to use that for jam. I don't want to waste even one! "What the..." The apple instantly vanished. I didn't notice that there was a large hole hidden by the grass, in front of the place where the apple rolled off to. My geta got stuck and snagged back by a tree root, and I fell head-first into the hole were the apple fell off before! "Gyaaaaahhhhhh---" "Aoi?!!" The apples on my back all rolled down and got scattered. This emergency seemed comical but without a doubt is devastating. Everywhere I bumped into hurts. "Aoi-- Aoi--!" "Ohhhh daaarn, thisshh ishhh baaaaad..." As Odanna-sama was calling my name out, it started to sound farther and farther away because of Chibi's insensitive words. Roll.. Roll.. All of the apples loaded in my back started rolling out easily like a conveyor belt as I looked on. P45 "Owwww" On the place where I landed, I was surrounded by a precipice inside the mountain, and all around was a wide place that was full of fluffy fallen leaves. The top of the hole was high, and above the gaps in between the trees, I could only see a bit of the sky. I went and looked around my surroundings, but I couldn't find the hole that I fell from. "Ohh, a red dragonfly!" But in that place, in all of that stillness, there were momiji, fallen autumn leaves. There was a small spring, where the fallen leaves were floating and coloring the water with. Countless red dragonflies were darting over the spring. Red, orange, brown, yellow. Heavily piled and packed and stacked on top of one another in many layers, the fallen leaves superbly look like a carpet. It looked somewhat like a lovely, autumn forest. Looking at these momiji, I consciously remembered an old memory related to grandpa. "Wai.... Odanna-sama... Odanna-sama, ODANNA-SAMA!!!" This is not a time to be a dummy. I loudly called for Odanna-sama, but my voice only echoes and rebounds back into the precipice's walls. It seemed that Odanna-sama is already far away. "Don't tell me.. I've gotten lost in the fruit orchard..." No matter how frequently I got lost in Kakuriyo, I always didn't feel like I was in distress, didn't I...? P46 "Gah, I shouldn't think too much of this..." For the time being, I'll just wait for help to arrive, while I pick up all of the scattered apples around me. All of the apples were fine. Even if some got bruised, there's no problem with eating them. But then that time, I felt like there were scratching sounds behind me, and I was shocked when I turned my head around. "Wh... Who are you?" From inside the forest, with masks that were as red as apples, and bodies each covered in a straw raincoat, a crowd appeared. They surrounded me, and it seemed like they're coming in from everywhere. "It's a human... A human girl.." Whispering in hushed voices, they signalled each other through the eye holes in their masks. Because the wall of the precipice was behind me, I couldn't move at all. "Wh..What is this.. Wait a minute..." The dubious beings started moving smoothly towards me. Could it be that, they're going to feed on me? But within the populace wearing a straw raincoat, a strange branch was pulled out, and they lighted it up, and towards me wafted a smoke that smelled bittersweet, it was an unfamiliar smell. P47 In a moment before I realized it, I have lost consciousness.

I had a dream. It was an old memory, with momiji and apples. In reality, back then I went with grandpa once, to his old residence. I was still an lementary school student then, and for sure it was autumn. I was sure that grandpa visited the Buddhist altar of his deceased mother, we went to this large residence in the outskirts of Tokyo, and I accompanied him. It has been a long time since he visited their family home, and he probably felt a lot of nostalgia. That home reminded me particularly of autumn season, and it seemed that grandpa had so much deep-seated emotions. "Ah, I see.. When autumn comes, this home seemingly turns into an AKIAKANE." "Grandpa, what's an akiakane?" "That's a red dragonfly, Aoi." It seemed like grandpa cut himself off from whoever was living in that home. He particularly didn't mention the place he came from, and it seems that through this I couldn't get to know him better. After a very long time, for such a reason he had no choice but to meet with his mother. P48 However, if I was going to meet my great-grandma, I couldn't instantly do it when she was still alive. Even when that person died, grandpa didn't come to her funeral, and even after that he couldn't bring it upon himself to visit even secretly. The house that we went to was the first and last time that I did, but to be honest, from how I remembered it, it was a really large residence.** Grandpa was such a monk... "I apologize, I had no way to find out, you were already at the verge of death. As expected, the role of head of the household was difficult..." "Nay, mother's death.. Seemed to be from my curse. I am truly sorry about that. You were killed by someone who didn't want to die... A strong person..." "Being someone like the lady of the house, even at your time of death, Shirou made you worry. Let us hurry now to her Buddhist shrine**." A man in the prime of his life, grandpa brought himself into the house's inner room, and in front of us we saw an imposing Buddhist shrine. A curse...? Grandpa's words were spoken in a low and hushed voice, and that time I thought that what I was continuously listening to was mysterious. But then I remembered something, it seemed that there was a deep meaning to it. T/N: At this point, it's easy to see why Shirou was living as a reckless man, he was probably raised in a stiff household, mostly because he was a member of the main family, with his mother as the house head. So he had to conduct his manners most of the time, probably. He loosened up when he got a chance to get away from the house. He was also probably bailed out a lot, which is why he at times becomes happy-go-lucky, or leaves others to clean up his messes. Think of a chaebol's son (son of a rich person lol) being bailed out a lot, and ends up not being able to clean up his messes. Buddhist shrines are tiny cabinet-like altars that contain the photo of the deceased, and they're usually opened up on death anniversaries or new years or whenever there's a day of the dead celebration something, like hungry ghost fest or something. Offerings can be placed in front of the cabinet, along with candles and incense sticks. Again, as this implies that Shirou came from a prominent family, his mother's shrine altar is probably huge AF. P49 "Aoi, come meet your great-grandmother. Mother, this is my granddaughter, Aoi." In front of the large Buddhist shrine, I was introduced to the dead. So many apples with a lovely color were offered, and as a child that left a strong impression on me. The incense stick's fragrance, within the swaying smoke rising up... The red color that was projected looked lovely. I didn't understand how to pay respects to someone that I didn't know. But the blurred vision of grandpa's side profile, up until now I didn't see it, it was a person who was suffering in loneliness... I could only remember it now. "Aoi, wait here for a bit..." After that, grandpa talked to two of his male relatives, and on the tatami floor of the residence, I waited for him. There was a garden connected to the veranda, and red dragonflies were flying in and out, dartingly through the window. I wondered why I was there alone...As I was sitting on the veranda, looking at the evening sky's madder red color, I started to ponder. Everywhere I go my heart always feels wrenched as I always felt that I was an outsider, but staying here in this residence, it didn't feel bad. It's easy for this old house to draw in Ayakashi, but I couldn't feel anything evil. Being guarded somehow, I could remember that place had a sense of calm and peace. P50 I didn't think that there would be anyone visiting or encroaching the confines of that place. "Are you.. A human?" Suddenly, there was someone at the gate. Before I realized it, a young boy was standing beside me. The boy seemed to have orange hair**, I thought that he was a humanoid Ayakashi, and my body stiffened. He's not a human-ish Ayakashi... At best, he is a lower-grade elementary school student. A child. But as I stared at the child in front of me, looking deeper at his essence, his eyes were not those of a child's. "I'm... A human too." I answered with a low voice, and as that child's face remained the same, he nodded over a serving tray that he was carrying. Sliced apples were arranged on a glass plate, and there was a glass of milk on the tray too. "Mommy told me to bring these to you." I humbly took these, and the kid frettedly ran away as if he was escaping. At that moment, he really did acted somewhat like a child. While running, what seemed like a mother's scolding voice called out "Akane, stop running!" T/N: It's not an ayakashi, it's zappy boi Zenitsu wahahaha I have zero regrets and yeah I know Zappy boi had brown hair before getting struck by lightning. But seriously, it seemed that based on the stuff here, Shirou's family can see Ayakashi, as Zappy boi Akane and Aoi can see them, like he did. Honestly, the color-name puns are just too much lololol P51 That kid, his name was Akane. It was the sky's color, and was the name of the red dragonflies. The skin of the sliced apples were made into bunnies** and they looked cute, and I could feel the love of the mother living in that house. Could the child also have eaten this everyday, I wonder. Using the fork beside the apples, I stuck this on the apples and ate them from behind. "Oh, they're sweet." Also, they were cold. These were cooled inside the refrigerator, and the coldness felt good on my throat. Somehow, while drinking the milk and eating the apples, it became a memory I longed for. A child. Yes, a child who had no idea how autumn feels like. I couldn't have it anymore. But whenever I see apples and momiji, I remember that meeting that only happened once.

Boom, boom..... When I woke up, within that pitch blackness was an old banquet hall inside a grotto. T/N: Bunny apples are fun to make and fun to eat, try them out. I think I saw some in Kaicho wa Maid-sama once, but that was ages ago lol P52 A large alter was built, a while ago, in front of me. All around it were countless food offerings. Countless candle flames were lit, flowers and fruits and a pig's head**, deer horns and other stuff were arranged there as offerings too. "Wh... What is this?" In front of me, the drummers were also dancing, they seem to be holding and continuing a ceremony, and these were the mysterious Ayakashi with monkey masks. "Miko-sama" "You have awakened." They were all whispering in a low voice. Miko-sama? "Uhm... Are you.. worshipping me?" Having no idea what was happening, I asked them in a courageous voice. But the gathered Ayakashi that were wearing a straw raincoat and monkey masks, why did they all went "yes, milady, yes milady" and turned around? "Human girl, you are the Kaku-zaru** village's priestess." "You shall save us from calamity..." These Ayakashi called Kaku-zaru, for a while have been worshipping me. I don't feel anymore danger, but this situation has gone nuts. T/N: They got hold of Inosuke's boar head lolol I still have zero regrets Nihongo fun fact, when forming compound words, the first syllable of the second word gets a tenten, which looks like a quotation mark. For example, the word HIDARIGAWA (left side) is made up of 2 words: hidari=left, and kawa=side, and because the syllable KA becomes GA when you add a tenten, KAWA becomes GAWA. Another example, the word for three thousand, SANZEN, is made up of san=three and sen=thousand, but because SA becomes ZA when you add a tenten, SEN becomes ZEN. Which is why I made it KAKUZARU here, there's no furigana in the text so I just assumed that this rule works. I could have just made it into Kakuriyo Monkey but then where's the fun in that lol. I'll probably put shit like this here, so that by the end of however much chapters my body can upload here, we've all learned some tiny Nihongo bits. I'ma gonna drag you all with me bwahahahahaahaa! P53 "Uhm.. I came from a fruit orchard along a mountain. I would want to go back now..." The monkey masks suddenly stared up. The masks had a strong impact on me, and I unconsciously gulped. This has a different atmosphere, compared to when I'm with the usual Ayakashi I have met. In a way, this unexplored region seemed to house a tribe. "You're a Miko." "No, I'm not a Miko, because I'm just a human." I flatly refused them, but they started to gather as they were whispering. "Miko-sama, with our offerings, we are requesting of you. This is our sacrifice..." "Uhm.. Sacrifice?" After saying that, is seemed that they didn't listen. Nevertheless, when they pulled out a rope I was shocked, they were pulling along a handsome, black-haired guy with a long piece of rope... "What the... They tied up Odanna-sama like a slave!" In front of me, surely without a doubt, they have brought along Tenjin-ya's Odanna-sama, the younger version. That appearance doesn't give off his aura of being Tenjin-ya's master, after all, they don't know who it was. B-b-b-b-but, isn't that disrespectful? If the people in Tenjin-ya saw this they'll bring upon a wrath of a sea of fire! P54 Speaking of Odanna-sama, he was restlessly looking around, and once when he found me on the bluish altar, he smiled at me childishly. As expected from someone so composed. It's better to be cheerful. "Miko-sama, we found this person loitering around outside the village." "Please have your way with this sacrifice. We can boil, then roast, then eat him." No no no, a human girl can't eat Ayakashi! "Then quickly untie him! That person is a distinctly emiment man!" "Yes, milady--" While the Kaku-zaru were being told what to do, they unfastened Odanna-sama's ropes. "Hmmmmph. Could it be that when you saw me tied up, you were surprised?" "You don't have a face that looked surprised. Might you have been enjoying yourself? Speaking of, how did you got captured so easily?" "I was looking for you, and I ended up in the Kaku-zaru's village. I thought it was easier to get caught as an adult in order to get in. As a result, I got here. When I met you here, everything went OK." "So it's OK to meet Odanna-sama here.." When the Kaku-zaru saw Odanna-sama and I, they started to talk in hushed voices. They were an eerie bunch. Why on earth did they bring me here, what do they plan to do? "Oh dear..." P55 Odanna-sama hit his hand on his waist, and it transformed as he dispelled it. Normally, people would be surprised and exclaim "It's Tenjin-ya's master!", but, here, the Kaku-zaru only shook their heads questioningly. What the.. They only kept silent and didn't say anything, so Odanna-sama only cleared his throat with an "ahem". "Aoi, this place is the heart of Hyakumeyama. I knew that inside this mountain, there is a hidden village of the Kaku-zaru, but this is the first time I've taken a visit. At any rate, the Kaku-zaru's village is in the territory of the Northern Lands." "Whaaaa-t. So.. We're already in the Northern Lands?" "Now that you mentioned it, yes. But the North-eastern lands were supposed to have a boundary..." Upon hearing loud drumming sounds again, Odanna-sama stared at the ceremony that the Kaku-zaru were performing in front of the large altar. "These Kaku-zaru were from an old era, wherein they were taken here by a Miko, a human priestess, which is now forbidden. Each time a human girl comes here, she becomes a replacement for the Miko, and she becomes worshipped by them." "So in this case, I was kidnapped to become worshipped here?" "But, well, this curiosity is rather odd. No matter how many human girls they worship, if it's against their will, being taken here feels like a punishment. But for this, I wonder what their probable reasons were for moving and leaving the village..." At the same time, the drumming sounds suddenly stopped. The door of the old tomb opened, and an old Kaku-zaru came in. P56 "The respectable elder... Has come!" That person has the longest straw raincoat in the bunch, and somewhat wears a necklace made out of bones, as well as having a mask of an old sleepy monkey. While walking with a cane, he was supported by a Kaku-zaru who was near the offerings, and sat in front of the altar where I was. "Miko-sama, we are the humble descendants in this village. For today, we beseech you." Everyone went "Yes, milady--", and bowed deeply once again. What the heck is going on.. "Uhm.. Respectable elder? What is all this For a while now, you've been saying stuff about worshipping, why on earth is that?" "Brigands from the far north has come to our village, and has looted and plundered." "Bandits?" Odanna-sama and I looked at each other's faces. He suddenly seemed to remember something instantly, and he placed his hand on his chin as he narrowed his eyes. "Bandits came from the far north.. Could it be that, they're the Ozuma gang?" "Odanna-sama, you know of them?" "Yes. They came from the Great Glacial Mountain Range of the Far North, and I've heard stories that in nearly every mountain here and there they were wreaking havoc and violence. But unexpectedly, you're asking for help from the North-eastern lands connected to the mountain of Hyakumeyama?" Aa a Hachiyo of the North-eastern lands, might he have not noticed of their situation? His facial expression suddenly became grave. P57 "Say, what on earth did the bandits do to this village?" After I tried asking, each of the Kaku-zaru started groaning in low voices. It was a bone-chilling sound and it pierced through my body. "We already have become the Ozuma-gang's minions." "Hm, in what way?" "The Ozuma-gang are bandits composed of about 20 individuals that move around. Each one has a jurisdiction over one mountain, as well as a minion that goes in each of the mountains, and like the other mountains we have become under one group that only keeps on increasing." The respectable elder has started to retell the story emotionally. "The day when those brigands came to this village,they broke through everything and pillaged, they violently wounded our villagers. We have no means or ways to retaliate so we just surrendered, and we became under the control of those thugs. After that, those brigands started to enter this village's stronghold, and every night they celebrated in our banquet hall. They just ate all of the village's food in reckless abandon, drank our liquor dry, and became even more violent when drunk. Half of the food we were saving in this village has already been eaten. At this rate we will not even last until winter." "Oh, I see. To summarize, you have been deeply troubled by it." Because of that, they have explained why they have abducted me, and why they were asking help from the gods. "Miko-sama. Please, we beg of you, save us---" The other Kaku-zaru who were also bowing down and worshipping me, also beseeched and prayed. Even though they show signs of just imitating what they think what a god must do, the surrounding atmosphere of desperation made me want to help them, but regarding that, I am just a normal human girl who has no means to easily resolve the issue. P58 "Respectable elder, have you gotten in touch with the Hachiyo of the North?" From here, Odanna-sama asked the question with a commanding voice. The respectable elder raised his face, stared unblinkingly at Odanna-sama's majestic pose. "Oh my.. You, are you not Tenjin-ya's Master?" "Indeed, I am. Finally, you have taken notice of me." "This is a bit too bad, isn't it, Odanna-sama?" After having his fun hiding, then finally being found out, Odanna-sama's face got a bit bored and sullen. But the respectable elder took off his mask, and bowed his head deeply. His monkey face seemed to have remained the same, but there were deeply-etched wrinkles on it, which definitely showed his very old age. The other Kaku-zaru didn't seem to be fazed with Odanna-sama. This was as otherworldy, remotely and as detached to the outside world as it can get. "Please give us your permission, Odanna-sama!" "Oh, do not worry, it's fine. However, the North's Hachiyo.. Can he not do it?" "Yes. We have not received any help from the North's Hachiyo. That is out of the question right now, as the Hachiyo has turned a blind eye on the arrival and movements of the brigands." P59 "I knew it..." "What, how can you say that, Odanna-sama?" I couldn't follow how the conversations flowed. During such times, when called for, a Hachiyo doesn't comply with the wishes of the people of the land? It seems to be like that here, in the Northern Lands. While placing his hand on his jaw, Odanna-sama explained to me the situation. "Apparently, the Northern Lands have a problem in their hands. The other name for this land is called "The Land of Glaciers", and is Kakuriyo's largest land area, and in this land there is a historical giant ice castle. But because the nature of this place is harshly cold, it is undoubtedly the most difficult to live alongside that harshness. The current Hachiyo holds a strong influence as a distinguished Ayakashi, and has been able to create stability within the boundaries of the Northern Lands.. But after countless years, that Hachiyo has succumbed to an illness." Really-- Prior to this, the Southern lands were deeply concerned with handling a unique problem, but even here in the Northern lands they also had problems. "Well,now that the entirety of the land is in chaos, from now on we must strike back at the bandits that have been having their ways in expanding their territories in the mountains here and there. But the Ozuma-gang.. They're an especially powerful bunch. Nonetheless, since I came from the North-eastern Lands which I have control over, I think we can apply some mugwort and moxybust them out." Odanna-sama said all of those standing tall and with a suave look. As if holding on to those words, the Kaku-zaru's elder who was previously losing hope suddenly, and with fire opened his eyes. "We cannot call upon the North's Hachiyo anymore. But can we impose upon the master of Tenjin-ya, along with the Miko-sama? P60 Please, for the sake of our village, make those bandits leave us!" "Ohh. But you kidnapped my new wife who fell inside a hole, isn't that request a bit selfish? And what's more, you also restrained my hands." It's not like that, that was pretty much my own fault, and it's why Odanna-sama's behavior was incomprehensible. "It's a rare chance that we got to enjoy apple-picking, but you have interrupted our date, Aoi and I. If Aoi hated me because of what I did, what then? Hm?" "Odanna-sama, right now you're being too selfish and holding grudges. Moreover, at this point I can't hate you..." "Really, Aoi? If that's the case, do you like me?" "Nah, I don't know." I replied a considerably appropriate answer to Odanna-sama, who was brimming with expectations. With such a frank answer, Odanna-sama felt dejected and with a disheartened look hunched his back and sat alongside the already sitting Kaku-zaru. Well, that was indeed depressing... "Well then, where is the Ozuma-gang right now?" Odanna-sama continued the conversation with a blank face. "They were in a nearby mountain territory yesterday, and tonight they announced that they will be coming here, to eat and feast in the banquet hall." P61 I caught a glimpse of Odanna-sama agreeing and nodding. "Aoi, what do you think we must do?" "Ehh? Me?" Him seeking for my opinion was very unusual. I thought for a bit, and answered in all honesty. "These people, I think it's a pity that the food they have now won't last until after winter.." "Hahaha, as expected of you, you were worried more about their food. Even though my companion was kidnapped to be worshipped, you were still the same, your nature of involving yourself with Ayakashi and their food still came out." "Even if I fell and rolled down a hole and everywhere hurts, I don't think I'm in any other kind of danger." "What the.. You got hurt?! Let me look at you to see if you got bruised--" "Odanna-sama, this isn't the time to talk like that--" This time my words were taken as a harsh reply by Odanna-sama, and despite the conversation getting derailed due to inappropriateness, I returned it to its original traction. Seeing the situation as such, the Kaku-zaru seemed to be perplexed. "Ahem, Well, I am also a Hachiryo. This may be the Northern Lands' problem, but I wouldn't know if the bandits may have brazenly invaded the North-eastern Lands. As such, repelling them from here is my job. I have a deep consideration of Aoi's heart, but I can lend you my hand." P62 "Ohhhhhh.." Hearing Odanna-sama's words, everyone seemed to have more hope, and they raised their voices with relief. "A normal ogre would always back out and retreat, but now you have become Kakuriyo's dark hero!" "My soon-to-be wife wouldn't like that." "You've said that already, why are saying that again?" "There are two chairs for two people on that altar, it somehow vaguely seems to be for a king and queen." "Well, that seems to be a fun situation, isn't it Odanna-sama?" Odanna-sama's reception may have been weird and without familiarity, but I think they were sincere. But... "Alright then. Since you said so, Aoi go back to Tenjin-ya." "Whaaat?" All of a sudden, Odanna-sama commanded me to return! Even though he said "I have consideration for Aoi”! "Wh-- Why? I wanted to help in any way too--" "That's out of the question. Those bandits are armed, and a despicable bunch. Having a human girl's body, you'll be in danger, and that is terrifying--" "So that being the case, Odanna-sama is not in danger?" "What's that? Are you.. Worrying for me?" P63 As Odanna-sama was peeking at my face, his face immediately showed a naughty smile. "I'm an ogre. I am different from the weak Aoi. This time your cooking skills can't resolve it." "Th... That I can understand.." Surely, I wonder if I can't get any stronger. Until now it was different, and I wondered if there's a possibility that I can fight with arms? But.. "But, I was thinking of helping up with the cooking back at the banquet hall..." "Again, when it comes to that you're still planning to cook..." Odanna-sama looked at me with a puzzled look, and I prepared myself. "But.. Ah, I see, there's more, if we add sleeping drugs to their food, when they get sleepy won't it be easier to beat them?" "What?" Hearing a mediocre yet dangerous suggestion, Odanna-sama got startled. Even the Kaku-zaru got shocked and couldn't move. As expected, the tactic was such a cliche. 'What the.. What is this atmosphere? I know it's too common. It's a joke." "No, it was so you, Aoi. I guess, you being Shirou's granddaughter, you thought of that." "You guess?" P64 "No, Aoi you had suffered and fought in so many battlefields that you have become resourcefull all around, that's a housewife!" "What the.. You don't have to follow me around against your own will, Odanna-sama--" I realized that this was much like Grandpa's style, and I saw that I have come so far. "However, this isn't exactly classical, so I don't think that it's diabolical. Yes. The mountain apples that we picked, and when we use the Hyakumeyama momiji branch, we can probably make it good." Despite my cliched suggestion, Odanna-sama seemed to have openly agreed to it. He tapped on my shoulder with his hand, and his face turned into an evil ogre. "Aoi, you can definitely depend on your special skills."

End of Chapter 2, Volume 6. Previous - Chapter 1 Next - Chapter 3

Volume 1 Translations by Kakuriyo-translations

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

I translated Volume 1 Chapter 5 here

References:

Wonderful site for the youkai references

Other stuff I used to do this: Kodansha Kanji Learner’s Dictionary (you can buy here, I’m not sponsored btw). I was about to buy the older edition but then the newer one came out 2013 so I bought that instead. Worth buying since I was able to find nearly all of the words I needed just by stroke pattern alone.

Merriam-Webster's Japanese-English Dictionary (the red-covered 1996 version is apparently out of print right now). This is what I have been using for a very long time, I bought it when I was still a fetus (yes I am old so what lol), and after so many years, when compared to newer editions, I still prefer this one since its entirety is Japanese-English, the English to Japanese gloss are just 16 pages tops, so you get more Japanese words for your buck. But that’s just my opinion, maybe other people prefer the Jap-En x En-Jap IDEK.

Basic online dictionary, Jisho. Knowledge of verb conjugations and other words are necessary since not all have entries.

If you can read Japanese, you can buy the whole set in Amazon Japan, they’re shipping worldwide now, I think.

#kakuriyo no yadomeshi #kakuriyo no yadomeshi light novel #kakuriyo no yadomeshi english fan translations #kakuriyo no yadomeshi volume 6 #kakuriyo no yadomeshi volume 6 chapter 2 #kakuriyo no yadomeshi light novel english fan translation

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voidselfshipp · 4 years

Text

Murder In Paris

Summary:two spies who are opposite to eachother in every sense are sent to an undercover mission,but form hate to love theres only one step.

(Sorry for the long post but the read more wont work)

Ok to rb

♤DO NOT REPOST MY ART♤

♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡

Of all the people he could have been assigned with,it had to be her.

Jerico leans on her motorcycle, waiting for her frenchman companion.

Spy was bitching at something,at this point she couldnt care less,the plane trip was already very tiring,she just wanted to crash into a bed.

--Hurry the fuck up!-She screams at him.

The Man turns around Rolling his eyes grabbing his suitcase,full of their spy Gear.

He sits behind jeri, then holds on the motorcycle for dear life, and his legs caging the suitcase.

--Would you mind go a bit slower?!--he shouted as her, they turn around the corner,making Him hold onto her waist.

--No!--She answered back-- im tired!

This was going to be one hell of a day.

They arrived at the hotel in ten minutes, thanks to Jers reckless Driving, its a miracle they were still in one piece.

Once at the reception, spy leaned on the desk to the receptionist.

The Ladys demeanor changed as she saw him, deep down it made jericos blood boil.

--avez-vous une réservation?

--Oui

- sous quel nom?

--jacques kateb

- voici les clés bon monsieur

- Merci, nous avons commandé deux chambres.

--Désolé, nous n'avions qu'un seul gratuit

Jer looked at his companion as he sighed,taking the keys.

--merci

And with that he left, jerico chased after him.

--oi!spy!--She called as both got into the elevator-- werent we supposed to have two rooms?!

The Man sighed in desesperation-- it seems like we had a problem with the hotel rooms, so we Will have to share

She was dumbfoded.

Are you serious right now?

They arrived at the last floor.

--Lets hope the sights make up to this...--she muttered under her breath.

The Man nodded in agreement.

They went down the corridor to the last room, spy opened it, letting jer go first, at least hes a gentleman.

Jerico Gasped when she saw the huge windowpane across the room, she cant help but walk a few steps closer to it.

She could see the whole city from here.

She smiled, Doing a small jump.

The Man noticed this,chuckling softly under his breath, she could be rather cute at a times.

Though the moment was Killed when they both saw it.

--Zheres only one bed....

Both looked at eachother like all hell was about to break loose.

Then jerico calmed down and scratched the back of her neck--ill take the sofá--she says--just let me take one good nap on the bed,im exhausted

Theres no way In hell.

--Ill zake zhe sofá, you should take the bed

Jer snorted,looking at spy-- dont come at me with that gentleman act, if you want to take the bed, take it

--its simple courtesy, you should sleep on zhe bed

--Spy...

--Jerico I insist, If not--

--the only option is sharing--i know

The frenchman was taking back, its been a while since he shared a bed with someone,that didnt involve any other thing than sleep.

--zheres no need to go to such extremes--

He heard her start to laugh shaking her head, then sitting on the bed, taking off her jacket and shoes.

--whatever your choice is, im okay with it,just keep it down Will ya?

He nodded, and hid the suitcase with their equipment, sitting on the old sofá, reading the newspaper that was placed on the coffee table.

A soft smile crossed his lips when he heard the faint noise of snoring.

He stood up,closing the newspaper,and closing the courtains,he had taken off his suits jacket,and he uses it to cover his companion.

He couldnt help himself and kept his gaze on her for a bit longer.

He shook his head and chuckled.

Jerico woke up at noon, she sits looking at the jacket, she smiled when she recognized it.

Shes about to speak when she catches spy, with the newspaper on his face,sleeping by the couch.

If she could,shed take a picture to show it to scout.

She then slowly and carefully moved the Man to fully rest on the sofá,unaware that the Man was awake.

She then grabbed the newspaper and covered him with his jacket.

Her hand brushe against his balaclava, some loose strands of hair had broken loose from the mask covering his face.

She then grabs her jacket and puts on her shoes, then she takes her backpack and closes the door behind her.

Surely spy would know how to unlock it without the keys.

She went downstairs into the restaurant the hotel had, she looked at the menú,knowing that spy was very picky with what he ate.

There was nothing that could really meet the frenchmans standards,but she preffered to hear him whine than him not eating,so she ordered in the most broken french youve ever heard.

She then sat to wait, good thing she ordered take away.

She sat on some of the sofa in the now empty waiting line,looking out the Window.

She started to take notes of the place, drawing her surroundings.

Its truly beautiful.

Eventually, she was called to Grab her food, and as soon as she entered the room, she peeked at spy, he was still awake.

She chuckled leaving the food on the coffee table with the wine and grabbing the glasses in the cupboard.

She sat besides spy and softly shook him--Spy, spy wake up, I got lunch

Yet he didnt wake up, she then shooked him a few more times.

The Man opened his eyes with a playful smirk.

--oh fuck you-- jerico pushed him back into the sofá and sat to eat.

The Man tried to contain his laughter, as he grabbed his food, only for his smile to convernt into a scowl.

-y--

--before you complain, that is as good as it gets, I dont want to hear it

The Man stays in silence for a bit-- very well...

The afternoon wasnt as interesting,they spent it organizing their things once the rest of the luggage arrived.

And well, thats when the small fights started.

Jerico was messy, leaving her clothes in piles,not even organizing them by color--

Well...actually she was pretty tidy....in her own way once he looked it upclose.

Maybe she wasnt that bad after all right?

And finally at night.

--jerico is already late we sh--

He stopped mid sentence as he saw jerico lost in the city lights.

He chuckled and sat Next to her on the floor the night Sky was clear and they could see the stars shining brightly as ever.

--its beautiful--she says softly.

--oui--his gaze turns to her,getting lost in her eyes for a couple of seconds, she was so concentrated,her eyes half lidded.

Spy snaps back to reality as he hears her yawn, he chuckles standing up and offering his hand to her.

--i zhink is zime for Us to sleep

Jer looks at him and then his hand,sleepily nodding, and taking his hand,standing up with his help, he chuckles again walking to the bed.

They both lay on the bed giving their back to the other.

Spy would have changed into his fancy robe,but with jerico present he felt somehow embarassed to wear it around her.

And jerico,well, she had no shame, she almost changes infront of him if he didnt reminded her there was a bathroom.

He always found it funny,how she managed to live in her own little world while also being the most down to earth of all his coworkers.

Well,he always found her interesting,since the day they met, she was his opposite but not...in an annoying way like scout.

His breath hitches when he feels jericos back against his, she thrashed around the bed.

She seemed to be having a nightmare.

He turns around and grabs her hands so she didnt hurt herself.

He then pulled her closer to him, and felt when she melted into his arms, finally calming down.

He smiled and let a chuckle under his breath--bonne nuit...jerico

#f/o community #s/i aesthetic #f/o #romantic f/o #f/o x s/i #self shipping #self insert #self ship #my f/os #💛stab me in the back (and steal my heart)💛#🖤🔪the quickest spy🔪🖤

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lemonadebloodsworld · 4 years

Text

Tw: ED (??), sh, depression, suicidal thoughts, abuse (??)

So yeah,

It feels weird to come back here even if it's a more recent account. The first time I made a tumblr account was when I was 13 and back then I was already really depressed because of trauma, my relationship with my parents and the fact that they were always saying that I faked being depressed and was just being dramatic and other shitty stuff.

Back then they thought I was a gay girl too but yeah I'm a bi trans boy and it makes everything so damn harder because everytime I try to talk about my mental health my mom just says that it's JUST because I'm trans and I should just be patient and wait to be 18 to start a transition while yes, dysphoria and the fact that my family isn't really supportive make me sad but my mental health has been getting so damn bad.

I've never really been a happy child, my parents divorced when I was 3-4, my mom found my stepdad who has always been an asshole to me and my little brother because we are not his "real" kids and would always yell at us and hit my brother and my mom has always been depressive and mentally ill (Ed, depression and trauma) so she is scared of him ig, anyways, she just never said anything about it, even when she noticed that we were really scared of him.

My bio father was supposed to take us at his place every weekend but after a year he stopped coming and dissappeared for 9 years. At the same time I started to get bullied at school by older kids and some kids in my class and I didn't have any friends because it was a shame for them to be friend with me.

At 11, I have been sexually assaulted by an older kid (he was 15 or something) leaving me with trauma.

At 12 I changed school and found friends, I was so unused to it and ashamed of my past that I spent my time lying to them so they'll like me and think I'm cool, I also started to smoke and drink in secret because I felt so much pain and the intrusive thoughts started to get loud.

At 13 my bio dad came back in my life because he owed a lot of money to my mom and wanted to use us to make my mom feel bad about it. I started self-harming lightly and depression started to settle in but I wasn't really understanding what was going on because the "hypomanic" phases and intrusive thoughts were getting more present causing me to lose the only friends I had and yeah I just didn't understand what the hell was going on. I tried to talk about my mental health to my parents but they told me that I was being dramatic and it's a normal thing to feel bad because I was an adolescent and questioning my identity (I came out as a lesbian back at this time) and decided to just punish me and take my phone away because I was spending too much time alone in my room and didn't do the chores.

At 14 I started to have a lot of anxiety and panic attacks while being in depressive episodes, I started an ed (feeling shameful for eating even a little amount of anything and purging, I don't want to give it any name because I have been diagnosed and yeah), I also began to self-harm more and deeper (still not bad, I don't want to lie for that type of stuff xd), I broke down one day and told everything to my parents (sh, depressive tendencies, smoke, suicidal thoughts etc) and once again they were like "yeah nah it can't be that bad, you just lie to have attention and have an excuse to stay in your room and just being stupid" but my mom saw my arms and thights and then was okay for me to go see a psychologist. So for a year I had the opportunity to talk with a professional who was really amazing, she prescribed me light sleep pills because of my insomnia while in depressive episodes and "hypomanic" (don't have a diagnosis but I have all the symptoms but then again I don't want to self diagnose because it could be wrong and be something else) ones but my mom always refused to give them to me. At the end of the year she wanted an appointment with my mom to talk about my mental health and the importance for me to go see a therapist to be diagnosed (bipolar disorder 2 (she was still questioning it) , anxiety disorder and depression or whatever, she just wanted me to have the help I needed) but then again my mom said no because I was surely just faking it all and I just had to make efforts to be happy. I was so tired of everything and just wanted to feel better so I started to steal my mom depression medication (mostly Xanax and calming pills).

At 15 I met my first serious girlfriend, I fell in love so hard with her and for the first month she really helped me to stop sh, pills, drinking and everything was great until she started to verbally abuse me using my dysphoria and fragile subjects I told her about (she would say that I'm annoying and selfish for always feeling bad and that u was too sensitive and not a real boy if I cried) once I wasn't agreeing with her, slap and hit me if I said something she wasn't okay with or when I would have anxiety attacks or talk to her about my suicidal thoughts while in depressive episodes and yeah she used me like if I was a dog, if she wanted something or think in some way I would have to give her or do whatever she wanted or I would get threatened, insulted or ignored for a long time or other icky stuff. After 6 months of making me feel guilty for not letting her touch me in a sexual way she one day decided to start taking advantage of me while I wasn't in the appropriate head space or without my consent and then making fun of my body and making comments about the way I look. She in fact, made me really anxious and feel bad and it made me start to binge eat, at the end of the year my weight was 78 kg, before our relationship I was 59 kg, people noticed it but just told me to stop eating and go on a diet.

At 17 (this year) I finally broke up even if she asked me to do it because she didn't want to be seen as the mean one for letting me while I was clearly depressed. It was hard but I could finally meet new people or get back with people she didn't wanted me to talk to (especially my amazing actual partner and my bestfriend) who helped me a lot realizing all the shit she did to me and they have been amazing at making me feel loved and cared for and to be honest I don't think I would be there if they weren't in my life right now.

Now my mental health is just fucked. Like I said when I broke up with my abusive ex I had gained almost 20 kg and it reminded me all the bully I've been through as a kid (they most of the time used the fact I was overweight to bully me) so I started to starve myself or purge if I felt like I ate too much (I started to count calories) I was at 78 kg at the start and in 2 weeks I was at 65kg, it was during quarantine so i didn't have any friend or people noticing what I was doing or see me fainting. I started to drink almost everyday and smoke a lot.

In June I got in a relationship with my actual partner and to be honest it's the only good point I can find this year. They (genderfluid) are an angel and I just don't know what I would do without them, they help me a lot even if they are struggling with mental illness themself and anyone has ever cared for me and made me feel so loved before. Today it's been 4 months officially and it makes me feel happy and I just want it to never stop. My mental health is at its worst, I've been having a lot of intrusive thoughts, i have a self destructive comportement, in September I started to sh again (a lot deeper) after 2 years clean, I often call them in the middle of the night (well in the middle of the day for them cause I'm in Belgium and they are in Texas) because of really bad dreams and suicidal thoughts, I am bullied and made fun of by the people in my class for being trans and having a different style (alt-grunge), I barely eat or purge if I try to have a meal, I have these "hypomanic" phases that make me getting really angry at nothing and do a lot of stupid shit because I feel invincible and better than anyone, almost godly and yet they never made me feel like I was a burden or like I should just stfu or like I was being dramatic and they are actually the first person believing me and not saying I fake everything.

I am struggling and it becomes so damn hard to live but I will do my best not to give up and just keep on fighting for them and maybe try to recover and seek for help when I turn 18. I already try to make little steps and stop self harming, drinking too much energy drink XDD so yeah let's just try and be positive I guess.

Sorry its actually so damn long hhh I don't even know if i will post It one day or keep it as a draft eheh I hate venting

#ed vent #vent text #tw depressing stuff #tw eating stuff #trauma #ventcore #traumacore #long ass rant #tw self destruction #self harrrm #tw self destructive behavior

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agustdomain · 4 years

Text

A Slideshow of Road Lines {2}

Synopsis: They say oil and water don’t mix. What about oil paint and engines? He’s an artist reaching toward his dream while the girl with an engine heart is too busy trying to get her hands on the wheel. Is there a way for them to hold onto each other?

Word Count: 5k words

Pairing: Chris x Reader

Genre: college!au, artist!Chris, angst

Warnings: Language, Physical Illness (mentions and depictions of it)

Author’s Note: Would any of you be interested in a character index? I’m going to do it anyways haha but I want to know if that’s something you’d like to see. You know, just in case you need a reference. It is an expansive world after all. Also, I have a playlist specifically for this universe so if that’s also something you’d like to see... Without further ado...

! IMPORTANT NOTE ! This story is taking place in TWO DIFFERENT TIMES. When you see these flowers ❁, the story is shifting from present to past. There will also be a “Then” next to the day in order to further indicate that. If you have any questions, let me know!

> Part One <

DAY 4

Her head is bobbing, her mind dipping in and out of consciousness. Any moment now and she’s going to hit rock bottom, far beyond return.

This is what Y/N deserved for putting off studying for her calculus exam until the night before. The last time she checked the clock-when she was more awake than she is now- it had read 2:03 AM. That had given her a nice seven-hour window to study for the exam in which she was massively unprepared.

Truthfully, she’s been using this exam as her go-to excuse until it was wrung dry. It had been enough to deter worried Hyunjin more than once and barely sated Yeji who’s relentless with pestering her this entire weekend. Even Minnie senses something is off, leaving a Crunch bar at her door for the past three nights.That’s one reason she preferred Chuu over all of her roommates, because she knew when to keep her distance.

The Crunch bars, however, are a nice late night snack.

Her phone buzzing made her head slide off her poised hand, almost right into her desk. Yawning loudly, she scratches at her cheek as she squints down at her phone. Swearing at the brightness, she turns it down before focusing on the only notification that’s lighting up her screen.

Honey

My spidey senses are tingling… Delivered at 3:08 AM

She waits patiently for the three dots to reveal whatever else Hyunjin’s spouting at her this late at night.

Honey

They’re telling me my favorite girl is in need of Honey time...

and Pistachio ice cream. Delivered at 3:09 AM

Even though she’s been trying to avoid him as much as possible, Y/N can’t avoid the smile trying to nudge her lips. She barely began to type a response before he shoots another text at her.

Honey

Before you heartlessly reject me, I’m waiting at the front door. Let me innnnnn

Delivered at 3:11 AM

That’s how after almost failing to creep down the creaky ass townhouse stairs and stubbing her toe on Minnie’s skateboard, she finds a gentle smile and her favorite companion waiting for her.

“Get in here,” She hisses, ignoring his outstretched arms and opting to yank him inside.

“Ouch. Don’t have to be so rough,” He whines a little too loudly.

“Uh, yeah I do. Especially when there’s a dumbass walking around late at night asking to get himself mugged. Or worse, killed.”

“Let them try. You know I could take anyone who tries to come at me,” Posting up, he swings at an invisible opponent, the grocery bag hanging on his wrist making him look ridiculous.

“Shut up before you wake up the Wicked Witch,” Y/N whispers.

His gaze trails to the stairs before shaking his head, kicking off his shoes. “We really need to get Minnie ear plugs or something. I’ve spent enough time around to know she’s louder than a boat horn.”

Y/N has to stifle her laughter. He always knows how to pull it out of her, no matter how hard things are. “Come on, loser. Watch your step. The stairs-”

“Creak. Yeah, I know. You act like I haven’t been here before. Are you going to tell me every single time?”

Not even five seconds later, she hears the stairs creak from behind her. Slowly turning back to look at him, she merely shakes her head at the grimace on his face before leading the way.

Once they close the door behind them, she gets her phone to text the roommate group chat. It’s a rule they had implemented when they first moved in together: keep each other in the loop. To maintain a level of respect, they always let each other know what was going on/who they are having over.

Right as she’s going to hit send, she hesitates. Hovering her thumb over the send button, her eyes peer at Hyunjin. She watches as he observes the wall adjacent to her desk. It’s where she had put up all of her photos when she first moved in. These days, she avoids them considering a lot has changed. She really needed to take some of those pictures down.

Feeling her eyes, he meets her gaze and nods at her in question. Erasing the text, she tosses her phone to her bed before settling at her desk. Instead of facing her notes, she spins the chair to face Hyunjin.

“Honey.”

“Yeah?” He’s still distracted, eyes drawn to the photos but mind somewhere else. What a sight. It’s been a long time since she’s seen him appear so peaceful. She doesn’t want to disrupt that. Unfortunately, she does have an exam she’s studying for and time’s dwindling down.

All she has to do is tell him she needs to focus. Apologize and tell him he needs to go. Thank him for the ice cream but she really needs to finish studying and get some rest. Reassure him that she’ll call him tomorrow.

Five minutes later, both of their backs are pressed against the wall beneath the photos, pistachio carton comfortably between them.

“You know, I used to hate this flavor.”

Y/N glances at him, unbothered at his disruption of the comfortable silence. The spoon rests in his mouth, hands comfortably in his lap. She watches as his right hand twists the metal ring on his left middle finger. Something’s on his mind.

“I think I remember something like that.”

“Yeah, it used to taste like shit. Whenever you got it, I would wonder who made such a nasty ass flavor. Of all things to make as ice cream, they chose pistachio? They must’ve died a virgin.”

“Wow,” Y/N coughs out a laugh, feeling bad for the inventor of pistachio ice cream. Digging her spoon into the carton, she asks, “What changed your mind?”

“You, of course.” Her eyes snap up to meet Hyunjin’s gaze.

“What?”

“What do you mean, what? I’m telling you the truth.”

They hold their gaze for a moment before Y/N breaks it, spooning the bite into her mouth before pointing the accusatory spoon at Hyunjin. “That’s bullshit.”

“Fine, don’t believe me. Why would I lie about something so stupid?” He tries to ignore her pointed stare before he adds, “I don’t know, I guess it could be taste buds changing the older you get and shit. But it really was your fault.”

“If I take credit for it, then I’m taking credit for changing your life for the better.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

An intimate silence falls around them, one that’s distinctly Hyunjin and Y/N. She believes their silence is one of the many reasons they work so well. They never need to fill the silence, not like she does when she’s with Yeji.

“I’m sorry.”

Y/N swallows the ice cream in her mouth. Licking her lips of the leftover residue, her gaze flickers over to him. He’s trying, that much is obvious. It hurt her to know that she’s being difficult about it all. Even to a stranger, it’d be easy to see she’s avoiding all human contact the moment she heard Chris is back. Her friends are worried about her, yet they respect that she needs time.

It hurts her to see the plain turmoil written in Hyunjin’s body. He hasn’t stopped fiddling with his ring since they sat down. He has this extremely irritating habit of licking his lips. The act itself isn’t frustrating, it was the after effects of him complaining about his dry lips and begging for her or Yeji’s chapstick.

“For what?”

He glances at her before looking forward, his smile sad. “I know him being back is tearing you up inside. And there’s nothing I can do.”

“Hey,” she reaches out and pats his thigh, “You being here is all I need. Well, you and pistachio. The pistachio a little bit more.”

“Shut up,” He laughs, shoving her hand off. Letting the moment pass, he grows serious once more. “I mean it when I say I would do anything to take away your pain. Chris may be my friend, but you’re my number one. I would take your pain and double my own in a heartbeat.”

“Aw, Honey,” reaching over, she ruffles his hair. He secretly loves it, smiling when he swats her hand away again, “Thank you.”

He gives her a short nod before looking off to the side. Never one for appraisal, he avoids the topic. Hyunjin admitted once that compliments were different when it came from Y/N, something along the lines that he knew she was genuine. The thought always makes her sad, so she shoves it aside.

Poking his cheek affectionately, she waits for him to swat her hand once more before leaning her head on his shoulder.

Any thought of Chris or her calculus exam fades away in the presence of the one person who always knows the right words to make her feel better. In that position, she falls asleep as easy as it is when she’s in her bed back home.

~~~~

Y/N doesn’t know how much time has passed. All she knows is her neck is stiff and her body is aching as someone gently shakes her arm.

“Hey. Hey, Y/N. Wake up.” Her eyes shoot open, flinching upright. Scanning her surroundings, she calms down at the sight of Hyunjin beside her. Looking just as exhausted as her, he is waiting on her to respond.

Rubbing at her neck, she sluggishly leans back on the wall, muttering, “What time is it?”

“It’s 5.”

Her eyes shoot open, gawking at him. Even in his sleepy state, he cracks a smile. “5?! Are you messing with me?”

Fumbling for her phone, she swears as she realizes it’s dead. She stumbles to her feet beelining to her desk.

“Come on, come on,” She chants as she waits for her computer screen to turn on. Sure enough, he was right. It’s just after 5 AM. “Shit!”

“What time’s your class?”

“9! I barely even studied!”

“I’m sure you’ll do fine,” He utters, distracted by his sleepiness.

“Um, that’s not how this works. If I don’t know the material, I’m guaranteed a failing grade.”

“Relax. It’s going to be fine.” Hyunjin can barely keep his eyes open. Y/N, on the other hand, is as awake as a cat in the middle of the night.

“I’m going to shower and then study some more before class.” She’s talking more to herself than him, because when she’s in this mode, hardly anyone can snap her out of it.

He hums, clearly not paying attention as she rummages through her dresser for clothes. Straightening out, she regards him for a moment before heaving a sigh. “You can sleep in my bed. Just don’t, I don’t know, pee in your sleep.”

“Thanks,” is all he can muster before he sprawls his body across her bed and passes out the moment his head hits the pillow.

Without a glance, she heads to her bathroom.

~~~~

By the time she’s back, it’s around 10:15. Thankfully, she only had one class. She wants to punch herself, though, because she’s running on fumes and has an essay due at midnight tonight.

Y/N isn’t expecting Hyunjin to still be knocked out in her bed, pausing in the doorway seeing his figure tucked underneath her comforter.

She hovers at the foot of the bed for a moment, watching him. He’s out cold, so she reaches out and shakes his foot to see if he’d wake up. Narrowing her eyes, she silently starts complaining. Why was he born with the ability to sleep so deeply?

Grumbling, she mutters, “At least we know who’d survive if there was an intruder,” grabbing her only other pillow and lying down in the opposite direction. Looking at him one last time, she yawns, “You’re lucky I don’t kick your ass out,” Before slipping asleep as easy as he must’ve.

~~~~

When her eyes flutter open, she senses someone’s looking at her. Holding her head up, she peers at Hyunjin through one eye before letting her head fall back into her pillow. “What time is it?”

“It’s 5.”

“What?” She screams, scrambling up. Y/N’s already up and off the bed before she realizes he’s laughing. Slowly turning her head toward him, her glare doesn’t deter him, only serves to make him laugh even harder. Lying back down, she slugs him in the leg, his giggles turning to gasps through the pain.

“You’re too easy.”

“Yeah, you would be too if you were still half asleep.” With her eyes still closed, she asks him again for the time.

“It’s 1:30. Boy, can we sleep.” Looking over her shoulder at him, she holds back the urge to laugh at his wild hair saying hello to her. “What?”

“Nothing.” As if he read her mind, he tugs and pulls at the strands, patting his hair down. He knows her mind well.

She doesn’t say anything as she lets herself wake up, and he gives her time. Eventually, they’re both lying there scrolling through their phones. At least, she thinks they are until she glances at him and sees he’s staring off into space.

“You good?”

“Yeah,” his voice is soft, barely audible. Where’s he at? “I think I’m actually going to head out. I have a late class today. I’m going to grab food and then go home and shower.”

“Oh. Okay.” She’s confused at his sudden change up but doesn’t find it suspicious. That is, until he avoids looking at her as he shrugs on his jacket. Awkwardly, she hovers near him as he gathered himself together. “You sure you’re okay?”

Finally, he looks at her. Something’s off and it’s clear as glass in his face. He smiles it off, his tone too bright as he says, “Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s go.”

They walk down the stairs in silence, her silence one of questions and his, one that’s indecipherable. They pause at the bottom of the steps, grabbing the attention of Chuu who’s lounging on their living room couch.

“Hey, Chuu. Long time no see,” Hyunjin holds up a hand in saluting. She just politely smiles back.

Y/N opens the front door, suddenly very afraid Hyunjin might tell her something before he leaves. Holding the door open, she watches him closely, looking for any signs of what he’s thinking. His face is void of any clues.

She holds her breath in anticipation as he steps around her, before smiling and walking out the door. She exhales in relief, not noticing his lingering walk. Opening her mouth, she readies herself to tell him goodbye. He beats her to the punch as he whirls around.

“Jisung is throwing something this weekend.”

Y/N’s heart sinks, crossing her arms as she retreats within herself. Hyunjin’s face falls, knowing all too well what that looks like. “That’s… great.”

“Y/N…”

“I think it’ll be a lot of fun. You’ll have to tell me all about it afterward.” Her hand grips the door and moves to close it, but Hyunjin’s arm jets out to stop it. Stupid baseball pitcher.

“I want you to be there.”

“Oh yeah?” Y/N winces at her loud and fake voice, glancing at Chuu before stepping outside. Hyunjin’s eyes are pleading, his palms showing as if he’s offering her a truce. That’s the thing. It isn’t his responsibility or his place to offer that to her.

She doesn’t know if he’s playing dumb or if he thinks he’s some hero, but he isn’t miraculously going to fix the damage done. No one, not even Chris himself, can convince her otherwise.

“Tell me something, Hyunjin. Do you think I’m stupid?”

“No…”

“Then do you think I’d really show up to something I know he’ll be at?”

“Well, the party is for him.”

“Don’t be a smartass,” She shakes her head, taking a step back. “If all everyone is going to do is try and push me to make an effort, news flash. It’s too late for that. Maybe that’s what you guys should’ve been doing right before he left.”

Hyunjin opens his mouth, but she holds up her hand, silencing him.

“Have fun at the party,” Trying to hide her disappointment in him, Hyunjin’s hurt expression is the last thing she sees before closing the front door.

Staring at the door, she follows the curves and swirls in the wood, all together but never touching.

“Are you okay?” Her eyes find Chuu, her wide and innocent eyes regarding her with so much kindness, her own flood with tears.

“I don’t think I am, Chuu.”

❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁

Day 8, Then

To Y/N, there wasn’t a form of satisfaction quite as fulfilling as turning in an assignment. It was even more satisfying, considering her major wasn’t the easiest one out there. The way life goes, when one stress disappears, another one takes its place.

Trying to ignore the boiling pot of emotions brewing inside of her, she kept her mind as blank as it could be as she packed her duffel bag with clothes for the weekend. She used anything that flitted across her mind and snatched onto it, anything to distract her.

She hoped she did well on the statistics exam she just took yesterday. Studying wasn’t too bad, so she could bear to have a little confidence. Eating lunch with Yeji today was a relief. She thought they might’ve been on bad terms since their last conversation, but everything was normal.

Hyunjin had kind of been M.I.A, but they had been texting normally so she wasn’t too concerned.

As she was gathering her toiletries from the bathroom door, she heard keys jingling in the dorm door before it clicked open. Low voices filtered out from the hall as Chuu entered.

“Y/N?”

“In here!” She finished grabbing everything before walking out, “Aren’t you supposed to be in class-” Just as she finished her sentence, both Chuu and Hyunjin turned to watch her walk out. He took in her presence before his usual honey smile found his lips. “Hey!”

Stepping forward, he did his signature greeting: arms around her, lifting her off the floor, ending with a sweet smile. “Hey.”

“To answer your question, I got out early. Now I can get back to the beautiful Rio and the yummy Profesor. Mmmm,” Chuu said dreamily, Hyunjin’s face scrunching up in confusion while Y/N laughed.

Walking over to her bed, the sight of her duffel slammed her back down into reality. Avoiding Hyunjin’s gaze, she stuck her toiletries in her bag before zipping it up.

“Are you leaving somewhere?”

“I’m going home for the weekend.”

“Oh shit, I didn’t know,” Hyunjin’s tone changed. That’s why she didn’t want him to know, “How are you getting there?”

“Mom’s picking me up,” Stop. Block it out. Distraction, anything. Turning to Hyunjin, she quickly shifted the subject. “What’s up? You didn’t text me and tell me you were coming over.”

Hyunjin tilted his head, deciding to let her dismissiveness go for the time being. She was thankful. “I figured you were going to be pouring your energy out over some assignment. I was wrong.”

She was supposed to laugh, but she couldn’t find the energy. He noticed, but didn’t press. Instead, he gently knocked his knuckles into her chin, to tell her chin up. It eased her heart, as it always did.

“Actually, I was dropping by to tell you about a little get together we’re having this weekend. Not sure if you remember, but we mentioned our friend Chris? His birthday is in a couple days so next weekend we’re all going to an arcade. There’s this deal they’re doing this month with pizza and endless gameplay.”

She blinked in surprise. He read her mind.

“What? Arcades are fun no matter how old we are. And Chris loves shit like that. It’s going to be a blast.”

“Are you sure he won’t mind me being there? I mean, I’ve never even met him.”

Hyunjin sat on her desk chair, back facing him. Drumming a beat on his thighs, he shook his head, “Trust me, he’s the last person to mind.”

“O-kay,” Y/N turned away, packing her backpack with school stuff she would need for the weekend, “I’ll see. If I don’t have too much homework, I’ll go.”

“Thanks,” A look passed over his face, making her pause, before he uttered, “At least you’re supportive and willing to give my friends a chance. Unlike Yeji.”

She didn’t know what to say. Yeji had actually said something to him. Unbelievable. “Are you two good?”

“I guess.”

“I’m… I’m sorry.”

“It’s whatever. You know how she is.”

“Yeah.” Their silence was a symbol of their mutual understanding. Many people would never be able to fathom the bond the three of them had. Their friendship was a treehouse they had grown and built themselves, no one else had access to the inside.

She jumped when Hyunjin reached around her and shouldered her duffel bag. Searching his eyes, she imagined what he was thinking. Perhaps he was wondering why his cousin was making his life difficult. Y/N wished she had the solution and hoped Yeji would come around- though in all the years they’d known each other, she was as stubborn as a hangnail.

“I’ll walk you down.”

“Okay.”

~~~~

The wave of suffocation that washed over her was hard to shake off as she stepped into her childhood home. It was and it always had been her sanctuary. The same living room, the same kitchen, the same dining room table with mismatched chairs from different sets over the years. The same family photos scattered about, the same stains in the carpet. The same love in her heart for her parents.

Except it would never be the same.

Right after her high school graduation a few months ago, her parents told her that her dad wasn’t well. It wasn’t a cold, a flu, it wasn’t something he would get over in a month or two. It was something bigger than life itself, one that could command death with the clap of its hands.

She hated it with every single fiber of her being.

How could one illness dictate the paintings of memories? Now, she didn’t look at family photos of her and her dad and feel joy, only pain for a memory not tainted yet? When she smelled their laundry detergent in the air, she wondered if it would cover up her father’s scent in the unforeseeable future. It was morbid, it was suffocating.

Her sanctuary became her prison overnight.

“Your dad’s lying down in the room. If you want, you can bring him a snack,” Her mom suggested, Y/N nodding as she swallows the pool ball in her throat. She tried to ignore the paleness to her mother’s skin. Eyes bloodshot, body sluggish from lack of sleep. An alternate reality of the woman she once knew.

Her mom disappeared into the kitchen as Y/N shakily took off her shoes. This wasn’t the first time she had been home since she moved on campus, but she wasn’t used to the shift in her home. She probably never would be.

Just as she placed her bags down, her mom reappeared with her dad’s favorite snacks: Ritz crackers and sliced up cheese. In her other hand, a glass of orange juice.

“Thanks, mom,” Y/N didn’t recognize her own voice. She pretended not to hear the crack. Her mom ignored it, too.

“He’s going to be so happy to see you. All day, he’s been talking about you coming home.”

The words were a smack across the face-no, they were a hand reaching into her chest and breaking her ribs in half.

Her mind blanked.

And then she was in front of him. He was physically smaller than who used to be, his face pale and his hair greasy, but his spirit was just as scorching. His eyes were trained out the window, lips pursed in thought. His body might’ve been worn down, but his spirit would always be as bright as a fury.

She fought the urge to cry. Setting the glass down alerted him of her presence. At the sight of that same old smile she knew too well, all of her pain was washed away.

“Y/N, my girl. You’re home!”

“Hey, dad.”

His hugs were still strong, encasing her and letting her know she was safe.They talked for a bit, her heart swelling as she watched him eat his crackers. He asked her about school, he told her about what he’d been watching on tv these days. They even sidetracked and chatted about the new cars set to release this year. Hardly anyone knew it besides her best friends, but her and her dad shared even the smallest things in common- like their interest in cars.

When he invited her to watch a movie, she sat beside him on the bed and took a cracker when he offered. He put on some cringe comedy that they both made fun of, which is what really made them laugh.

There wasn’t any true remedy to her stress, to her unhappiness, like being home was. And her dad? Laughter was as natural as breathing when she was with him. Halfway through the movie, her mom joined them. She pretended she was okay just like her mom did, but with her dad cracking jokes it was easier to keep up the facade.

Once the end credits rolled, her eyes trailed to her dad. His eyes were distant, elsewhere. With one glance, she was reminded of a reality she hated. Noticing her staring, he shook it off and smiled beneath his moustache.

“Your dinner is in the microwave, Y/N,” Her mom told her. Y/N took that as a chance to breathe, standing up slowly. Right before she made it out the door, her dad called for her.

“Before I forget, here,” He shuffled through his bedside table before finding what he was looking for. Her mouth worked on its own, rejecting what he was clearly doing as he pulled out money from his wallet. The stern hush from him silenced her protests. “I want you to remember to treat yourself. I know how you get when you’re stressed. You don’t give yourself time to breathe. So treat yourself with this money, okay?”

“Dad…”

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

~~~~

Several hours later, Y/N awoke from her already restless sleep. Her head was throbbing, her eyes puffy and nose runny, so she sluggishly made her way to the bathroom and cleaned herself up before deciding to go get some water. Quietly, she went down the stairs and turned the lights on in the kitchen.

She didn’t spend that much time in the kitchen, not anymore. Whenever she was home now, she wasn’t very hungry.

Just as she reached the halfway mark of her glass, her dad’s voice startled her and made her spill the rest all over her shirt. Her shock quickly dissolved into amusement as he tried not to laugh.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s fine. Don’t worry,” She side-eyed him as he slowly made his way to the dining table. She knew he would get upset if she offered to help him. “What are you doing awake?”

“I have a lot on my mind.”

“Like what?” She asked, dreading the answer but asking nonetheless.

“The past,” He casually said, his eyes elsewhere once more. “Actually, I was thinking about when you were little.”

Y/N froze with her hands on the banana she had just taken off the bunch. She must’ve looked ridiculous, frozen like that. It was a good thing it was only her and her dad there, then. “Oh yeah?” She needed to get a handle on this. “What were you thinking of, exactly?”

He smiled to himself, then, and as he began to tell her a story, his voice coaxed her into the past.

“You had to have been six or seven, maybe eight. I had gotten off work early and decided to get you out of school early, too. You were so happy, not to see me, but to be out. Back then, you weren’t so wound tight about your studies, you know,” He teased her then, pointing a finger at her, “You wanted to be a grizzly bear when you grew up. Well, that day, when I was buckling you into your carseat you kept on saying, ‘Daddy, I’m so happy you’re here! You’re here! I’m so happy! Thank you, Daddy!’ I mean, I was your hero all because I picked you up early.

“After grabbing lunch, we were walking around the mall. Usually, you asked for candy or if we walked past a toy store, you wanted everything in it. That day was different. We walked past one of those off-brand shoe stores. You set your eyes on the most different pair of shoes I’ve ever seen. I mean, they were bright orange with blue shoelaces! And on each shoe, there was a drawing of a red bear.”

He paused in the story, and she looked away at the sight of his shining eyes. Laughing to himself, he continued.

“You said, ‘Daddy! That’s me! I’m a bear! Can we get those shoes? Please?’ I pretended to think about my answer, but I knew I was going to get whatever was at the end of the most pure adoration on your face.” Y/N blinked, realizing the story was over. They soaked in the feeling together, the ticking of the clock on the wall the only sound filling the kitchen. Except, it wasn’t the only sound. Even if she didn’t remember what he was talking about, she could picture those shoes as if she still wore them.

“Let’s go to bed, Dad.”

He nodded, both of them looking at each other and wishing they could rewind time. He, for nostalgia. She, to avoid the pain.

“Come on,” He said, wrapping his arms around her shoulder and kissing the crown of her head, steering her out the kitchen.

When she made it back to bed, she found it easier to fall asleep. Chest lighter, she seized the opportunity to ignore all of the overwhelming heartache that seeped into her skin whenever she was home.

> Part One <

> Part Three <

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nekoabiwrites · 5 years

Text

The Best-Laid Plans of Mice and Men Often Go Awry... Especially When Remus is Involved

First prompt fill for @thesquirtlesquadwrites blog! Here’s the rest of this prompt’s fics! https://thesquirtlesquadwrites.tumblr.com/post/186328714416/if-i-need-you-ill-give-you-a-signal-what

The prompt was: “If I need you, I’ll give you a signal.” “What signal?” “I’ll imitate the scream of a terrified little girl.” From this list: https://sandersidesfics.tumblr.com/post/181526336256/100-prompt

Also, that title is way fancier than anything in the fic... I just cannot come up with titles because I’m an idiot :)

AU: Human Pairing: Pining Royality Words: 1864 Warnings: Remus, Implied swearing, brief mention of violence and possible injury. Anything else, please let me know!

Summary: Roman is roped into his twin’s plan to set him up with his crush. It goes about as well as expected.

---

“Is this really necessary?”

Roman stood at the end of the playpark by his home, looking sceptical as his twin brother hung upside down on the monkey bars just a little away from him.

“Of course!” chimed the high-pitched voice of his twin, who flipped down off of the monkey bars with little grace. He practically turned his arms the wrong way, before letting go of the metal bar and having them swing around in a full circle to get back into place, which caused Roman to grimace. “It’s the perfect plan!”

The slightly shorter of the two replied with little confidence as Remus threw an arm around his brothers’ shoulders, “I don’t know, Rem…”

“Oh, come on, Ro! Don’t you want to date him?” Remus leaned in, attempting what could only be an awkward attempt at a flirtatious face and voice.

Roman huffed and crossed his arms, “Fine! I’ll go along with this stupid plan.” Remus went to interrupt, but Roman quickly turned and pointed at him, his finger acting almost as a sword as he held it to his twin’s throat, “But only because you won’t stop bugging me if I don’t, and I want to see this blow up in your face, you idiot.”

Remus simply smiled in response, his hands falling to Roman’s shoulders before they were quickly shrugged off, “It won’t fail! It will work so good and you will be kissing in the box over there by tomorrow!” Remus grinned as Roman spluttered, almost making a puking noise at the simple idea.

“Please never ever talk about me and kissing ever again.”

“Hmmm… Never!”

The twins hung around the play park for a few hours, just doing whatever. Remus found all the worst places to sit; which included the space between monkey bars, the end of a tree branch that almost stuck out into the road and being sideways about halfway down the steeper part of the enclosed, tube slides. Roman just about had a heart attack when the other boy almost fell down off of that spot, which led to both of them getting into an argument over who was the stupid one.

Finally, the pair took up a space near the top of the playpark. Remus had clambered out and was currently standing at the top of the pointed roof, hanging off of the short flagpole that was at the very top. Roman was boredly flicking pieces of woodchips from the small room underneath, attempting to ignore his stupid brother’s footsteps above him. He’d already let the idiot know that if he fell, Roman was going to tell their parents exactly what happened so that he would get the proper telling off.

Roman sighed and was about to call up, asking how much longer they’d be waiting here, but was interrupted by a shout from above.

“Target Spotted!” Remus called out, causing Roman to scramble over to the short barrier-like wall. He peered over it, trying to keep as hidden as he could. Roman’s heart skipped a beat as he noticed just what Remus was talking about.

A little way away, standing at the entrance to both his and the twins’ street, were Patton and his mum. Roman could see, even from this distance, the wide smile that signified Patton was having a great time and was extremely happy, which only filled his heart with even more warmth. The boy was just so freaking cute, how was Roman supposed to not have a crush on him?!

He didn’t have long to dwell on that, however, as the sound of Remus climbing back down interrupted him. Roman turned around from his spot and saw the flailing legs of his twin just make contact with the wall to the left of him. Remus continued to drop further down, sticking his feet underneath the little wall and leaning in to whisper loudly to Roman.

“I’m going to go intercept him!”

“How do you know he’s even coming this way?!” Roman hissed, his cheeks suddenly a bright red as he thought about what his twin was planning.

“Trust meeee!” Remus responded in a sing-song voice. He began to descend further down the playpark’s side, “When I need you, I’ll give you a signal!”

“What signal?!” Roman called out, confused as he was not told there was going to be a need for a signal.

Remus’ piercing green eyes with their dark bags popped back into view in the gap just under the short wall, where his feet had previously been. It was clear he was grinning widely. “I’ll imitate the scream of a terrified little girl!” With that, he was back to clambering back down.

Roman sat in silence for a second, his mouth agape. Once the words had truly sunk in, he crawled over to the wall and whispered harshly down to his brother, “That’s just your normal scream, you piece of sh-”

“Hey! Mum said no swearing!”

“Mum’s not here!”

Through the small gap at the bottom, Roman was just able to notice Remus sticking his tongue out at him before he turned and skipped away to the edge of the playpark. Roman could only sit there and watch as Remus attempted to subtly wait for Patton to arrive, though the shorter was pretty sure that Remus didn’t even know the meaning of the word, especially since he was constantly turning and looking out down the pathway.

Roman was unable to look anymore. He groaned and sat with his back to the same wall his brother had somehow climbed down without injury, his head tilted back to look up at the cobwebs that lined the inside of the roof. There was no way this plan was going to work, mostly because it was thought up by his awful excuse for a brother who had no idea what it was even like to have a crush.

A shrill scream pierced Roman’s ears, causing him to cover them until the sound stopped.

“I guess that’s the signal?” Roman muttered to himself, before standing and hurrying down to where his brother had been standing before.

“Are you alright? What happened?” Patton’s soft, sweet voice caught Roman’s ears as he got closer, as did the pathetically fake sniffles of his twin.

Remus was sitting on the ground, his hands wrapped tightly around his ankle as he fake-cried. He was attempting to explain how he just wanted his brother, how much his ankle was hurting and all of this nonsense. He was not even attempting to come up with an explanation of how he hurt himself. Patton, meanwhile, was crouched down beside Remus, both hands on his knees as he looked at him with concern. He was trying to calm the other boy down and trying to figure out where Roman was.

Roman internally rolled his eyes upon approaching the two, which had both of them looking up. Remus called out to him and went to stand but fell back dramatically as he put weight on the other foot that had been fine up until just then. Thankfully, Patton didn’t notice as he was already up and rushing to Roman’s side.

“Oh Roman! Thank goodness! Something happened to your brother, he’s really hurt! I heard him scream just as I walked past, I hope he’s alright!” Patton rambled at him, wrapping his arms around one of Roman’s in an attempt to pull him over to Remus faster. Roman would have been lying if he’d denied that the action didn’t make his heart race just a little.

The standing twin made a slightly delayed sound of concern, since Patton’s grasp on his arm had temporarily caused his thoughts to stop. Roman looked down at his brother, who was still whimpering and grasping his ankle. He so desperately wanted to say something snarky, but Roman just couldn’t do that in the presence of Patton so he bit it back and put on his best performance to date. “I heard the scream too, which is why I headed over here. I think it’s best if I get him back home quickly.” As he went to bend down and attempt to get Remus up, he was knocked down by his brother who looked at him like he was an idiot. “What the hell, Rem?!”

Remus quickly went back into his fake injury routine, “I’m sorry, Roman! I didn’t mean to! It just hurts so much, I can’t move!”

Both of the two other boys in attendance shared a quick look of confusion. Patton was the first to respond to Remus’ claim, crouching down once more and speaking with a soft tone. “Wouldn’t it be nice to go and sit back at home? That would help it get better, right?” The injured twin sniffled a little more, exaggeratedly looking like he was considering Patton’s suggestion. “Both Roman and me could help you back, if that would make it easier?”

Immediately, Remus was on board. It took a little to work everything out, but eventually Remus was being supported on either side by the two other boys. Slowly but surely, they made progress down the pathway and back to their street.

After a bit of guiding, Patton gasped and turned his sunny grin towards the twins, “I didn’t know you lived down here too! This is my street!”

Remus feigned an innocently surprised voice that had Roman fighting back a groan, “What?! You do?! Ro, did you hear that?!”

“Yes. I did. I’m right here.” Roman said testily, sending a glare towards his twin. He then caught that Patton’s grin was slowly sliding off of his face and that made Roman turn away with a grumble and a blush.

After dropping Remus off in their home – whilst purposefully trying to be quiet so they didn’t get the attention of either of their parents, Roman escorted Patton to the front door.

“Well, now that I know you’re here, we can walk home from school together!” Patton chimed happily as he stepped out of the front door, turning back to Roman with a sunny grin once more.

Roman smiled genuinely, “That would be wonderful, Patton. I must apologise for my brother, though. He can be a little…” He paused, trying to find the right word to describe his twin, “over-the-top.”

Patton simply giggled, clasping his hands behind his back adorably, “It’s no problem! I hope he feels better soon!”

“I’m sure he will…” Roman muttered under his breath, glancing behind him to the stairs.

“See you later, Roman!” Patton waved as he started to walk back to the main pathway.

As Roman was waving back, Remus shouted from the top of the stairs, “ROMAN HAS A CRUSH ON YOU!”

The fallout was immediate as Roman slammed the door and rushed up the stairs to his twin, who screamed and ran back into his room. Meanwhile, Patton was a statue outside, listening to the commotion inside. Ever so slowly, he backed away and wandered back to his own house, before a gentle blush and smile crossed his features. He would have knocked and tried to talk about it, but Patton knew it was probably better to save that conversation for another day.

---

My other stuff: http://nekoabi.tumblr.com/myworks Mobile Accessible Masterlist: http://nekoabi.tumblr.com/post/181954641376/fic-masterlist

General Tag List: @not-so-innocent-bi-sander @didsomeonesayprince @llamaly @justanotherpurplebutterfly @iaminmultiplefandoms @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @lowkeyvirgilobsessed @louisthewarlock @fangsandrainbows @xxladystarlightxx @sleepyssnail @ao-koshka @notalwaysthevillian @pumpkinminette @doces-e--tuga @coloursintheblur @safesandersides

#Sanders Sides #Fanfiction #Royality #Roman Sanders #Patton Sanders #Remus Sanders #ts remus #Creativitwins #Creativity Sanders #Morality Sanders #Human AU #The Best Laid Plans

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kanasmusings · 5 years

Text

[Translation] TsukiPro Special CD - Starry Sky Collection Track 2

Yay~! This time, it’s VAZZROCK!! Next one is Mamoru and Koki’s and then the rest of the Yaminabe series dramas ww

Thank you once again to Deea for the files~! Please don’t ask her as per her request, thank you!

Also, Sho briefly mentions the story behind Lyra the constellation so, please do give it a read to understand it completely ^^

※ Please don’t re-post these translations without permission. Instead of reposting, please just like/reblog instead ^^

Under the cut, enjoy~!

Track 02: [心揺さぶる音楽を -こと座ベガ-] “Music that Shakes the Heart – from the Constellation of Lyra – Vega”

Mamiya Takaaki, Kira Ouka, Onoda Sho, and Nadumi Ruka

[0:00]

MAMIYA: Everyone, thank you very much. We’ll leave the rest to you.

SHO: We’ll leave it in your care.

SHO: We’ll be taking our leave now.

OUKA: Thank you very much for today.

RUKA: Thank you~!

SHO: Now then, thank you for the hard work once again.

MAMIYA: Good work.

OUKA: Great job.

RUKA: Yay~! We all did well!

SHO: With this, VazzRaji’s first season recording is now finished.

SHO: Our party with the staff is over as well and now all we need to do is return to the dorms.

SHO: I heard that if we go straight home from here, it’s not that far but…

SHO: Takaaki, do you want to call a taxi?

MAMIYA: Ah, that’s right. Let’s call for one by the main street.

MAMIYA: But, uh… Can I ride a different one (from yours)?

OUKA: A different one? Where do you plan on going?

MAMIYA: Don’t look at me with such cold eyes~ I just feel like going for a little walk.

MAMIYA: If I walk from here to the dorm…

RUKA: If we’ll trust the map application, it’d take about 10 minutes!

MAMIYA: See? That’s what he said. It’s not really that far.

MAMIYA: I was just thinking of walking around to feel a bit refreshed.

MAMIYA: That much is fine, isn’t it?

RUKA: Ah! Then, I’ll do the same~! I don’t really like the smell of taxis and I try avoiding them as much as possible.

RUKA: Also, I ate a looooott of meat and rice so I wanna exercise a bit!

RUKA: And so~ Takaaki-kun, can I go with you~?

MAMIYA: Of course, you’re welcome to~! Let’s take it easy together, ‘kay?

RUKA: Alrighty~!

OUKA: (sighs) Ruka, if you walk back to the dorms from here, won’t it override your calorie intake?

RUKA: Non, non, non, Ouka-kun~ Doing things when you feel like doing them is important, too!

RUKA: In other words, there’d be no feelings of guilt lingering!

OUKA: Is it like that?

RUKA: Yes, it is! It’s kinda the same as when women go shopping.

RUKA: “Oh, I might find some use for this,” they say and then they end up buying more than intended~

RUKA: In my case, I say “I’ll lose it all in practice tomorrow” and then I eat as much as I can!

RUKA: If you say that, you won’t feel as guilty! Doing the things you love sometimes is important, too~

RUKA: It’s essential, right~?

OUKA: I see… That’s deep.

MAMIYA: By the way, I only want to walk, okay?

SHO: Yes~ I don’t really have any feelings of guilt but, can I join you for your night walk?

MAMIYA: Oh~ Sho, you wanna walk, too?

SHO: Yes, I’m the same as you, Takaaki.

SHO: Heading straight back to the dorms feels like a waste and somehow, I’m in the mood to walk, too.

SHO: I had so much fun a while ago that I feel like wanting to enjoy your company for a while longer.

MAMIYA: In Sho’s case, isn’t it just because you had too much to drink?

MAMIYA: You’re looking quite pale, y’know~? See? (Mamiya touches Sho’s hand) Your hand’s a bit warm, too.

SHO: (chuckles) Is that so? Well, maybe it is, since Takaaki’s hand feels cool and nice.

RUKA: Were you bad at handling your alcohol, Sho-kun?

RUKA: Like, your head feels floaty whenever you drink?

SHO: Hmm… I don’t think I’m particularly bad or good.

SHO: Though, it’s true that my head feels kind of floaty but, it doesn’t really go beyond that.

RUKA: Heh~ I’ll remember that~

SHO: Hm? Why would you want to remember that?

RUKA: When I know what my friends’ limits are, I can help them when they’re troubled about what to drink next or when they’re about to pass out, right~?

RUKA: I can handle my alcohol well so don’t hesitate to rely on me, ‘kay~

SHO: Thank you. Ruka’s very kind and reliable, huh?

MAMIYA: ROCK DOWN’s bonds are so dazzling~

MAMIYA: Alright! Then, Ouka will go home first in a taxi and then—

OUKA: Wait. Do you really think I’m that much of a loner to go home by taxi when you’re all walking?

MAMIYA: Yeah.

OUKA: (Ouka grabs Mamiya by the necktie) You should at least lie in a situation like this.

MAMIYA: (with a pained voice) O-O-Ouka-kun… Ouka-kun? Don’t pull my necktie…! My neck’s gonna fall off…!

MAMIYA: My neck’s gonna snap…!

RUKA: (smiles) VAZZY’s bonds are so tight, huh~!?

SHO: Ouka, calm down~

OUKA: Tch.

RUKA: So, that means~ Ouka-kun’s gonna walk with us?

OUKA: I am. Now that that’s decided, let’s get going.

OUKA: Let’s go. Hurry up and go.

RUKA: Yes sir~

MAMIYA: Y-yes…

[05:00]

RUKA: (singing) ♪ Let’s go on a walk, let’s go on a walk~! ♪

RUKA: (singing) ♪ I am the great Ruka-kun~! ♪

SHO: (chuckles) Ruka’s in a good mood, huh?

OUKA: I’d understand if that was his energy after drinking but, I’m surprised that he’s naturally like that.

OUKA: In a way, he’s pretty energetic.

MAMIYA: That’s to be expected. Ruka’s a stage actor after all.

MAMIYA: I think he’s got more energy than a certain someone here~ He’s got pretty great stamina.

OUKA: I see.

SHO: I’m so sorry, Ouka. We ended up going home by walking.

OUKA: Ah, no. If I’m being honest, I was the same as everyone else. I felt like going for a walk.

OUKA: That’s why you don’t have to mind it.

MAMIYA: Oh my~! You’re quite honest with Sho, aren’t you, Ouka?

OUKA: If someone tells me something directly, I answer as honestly as I can.

OUKA: That’s all there is to it.

MAMIYA: In other words, you’re rebellious when it comes to me?

RUKA: (smiles) Walking like this together with everyone feels kinda nice, huh~?

RUKA: The food and alcohol during the staff party was great, too! I’m extremely satisfied~

RUKA: I’m super happy!

OUKA: Ruka, your voice is too loud.

RUKA: (laughs) I’m sorry, Ouka-kun.

RUKA: I’m feeling good and the wind feels so nice~ I just got taken in by the atmosphere. (to Sho) Right~?

SHO: Hm? Yes~ (to Mamiya) Right?

MAMIYA: (to Ouka) Right~?

OUKA: Ruka and Sho aside, when Takaaki does it, it’s disgusting.

MAMIYA: So mean!

RUKA: Alright~! Sho-kun and I passed!

MAMIYA: Discrimination is not good, Ouka.

OUKA: Don’t hold on to me, you drunk.

MAMIYA: I didn’t drink any though~

MAMIYA: I only drank like, one beer and about two or three ciders.

RUKA: Me, too! Normally, I’d drink so much more but, I have to wake up early tomorrow.

RUKA: Hm… But, Takaaki-kun, Ouka-kun, Sho-kun, and I are kinda a rare combi so—

RUKA: Going home so early just kinda feels like a waste…

SHO: Even though you say that Ruka, Gaku asked me to take you home safely.

RUKA: Ack! That bastard…!

MAMIYA: As expected from his partner! He can read you like a book~

OUKA: You laugh at him and all that but, you need to wake up early for filming tomorrow, too.

OUKA: Walk properly, get home, and then go to sleep.

OUKA: Don’t tell me, “let me watch one video before going to sleep,” got it?

MAMIYA: (groans)

SHO: (laughs) Looks like he can read you well, too~

SHO: Although Takaaki takes his work seriously, there are times when he indulges himself, huh?

SHO: Just like me~

RUKA: I-I don’t think that’s something you should be smiling about, Sho-kun… (laughs nervously)

OUKA: Good grief… So, our leaders have the same weird tendencies.

SHO: Please don’t abandon me.

[08:19]

SHO: (gasps)

RUKA: Hm, what’s wrong, Sho-kun?

SHO: Look, Ruka. Since there are no buildings around, you can see the stars properly.

RUKA: Ah! It’s true!

RUKA: Woah~! Since when did I last see the stars like this~?

OUKA: We might have seen them but didn’t really notice them much.

MAMIYA: So, they can be seen properly even in the city, huh~!

OUKA: The stars I saw from my relative’s house when I was younger were even more amazing.

MAMIYA: Heh~ In the countryside?

OUKA: In Okayama Prefecture’s prefectural border.

OUKA: I was in elementary school back then probably. I went there about 2 or 3 times during summer vacation.

OUKA: In any case, the stars were so beautiful that I’d lay down and look up at them until my mother came to scold me.

OUKA: It’s such a vivid memory that when I close my eyes sometimes, I feel like I can still see them.

OUKA: The scent of incense, the squeaking of the wooden floorboards, the sound of the wind chimes, and the starry sky spreading from the night sky.

RUKA: When I imagine Ouka-kun with stars, it makes for such a perfect picture that I get scared~

RUKA: Ouka-kun, you really love stars, huh?

OUKA: I guess. I love them.

OUKA: Not just the stars but the universe in general. When it’s shown on T.V. I end up watching it completely.

MAMIYA: This is my first time hearing that~

OUKA: Have I not told you…?

OUKA: Don’t you generally prefer conversations where you can talk of anything compared to half-hearted ones that don’t fit your interests?

OUKA: It feels good to be able to talk about what you love, doesn’t it?

MAMIYA: I see~ That’s such a great reason that’s so fitting of you, Ouka.

RUKA: I love stars too but, not on a realistic scale, I guess.

RUKA: I love things with star designs! They can be cute or cool~!

RUKA: Oh, and they’re good luck~!

MAMIYA: Oh! Now that you mention it, I feel like a lot of your t-shirts and bags have star designs on them!

MAMIYA: Don’t you have shoes like that, too? Ya know, the ones designed with stars for buckles and stuff?

RUKA: As expected from Takaaki-kun! You’ve observed well, huh~? Those are my favorite~

RUKA: It’s the one I decorated with the make-up artist backstage! It’s the only one of its kind in the world~

RUKA: I wear them to feel in the mood before a play!

SHO: You really take acting seriously, huh~ Leaving it to luck is not manly, was it?

SHO: Though, you give me the impression that you would leave it to your own abilities.

RUKA: (laughs) That’s correct! That’s exactly it!

RUKA: Whether it’s luck or abilities, the one that wins in the end is the me who practiced a lot.

RUKA: The only superstition I believe are good luck charms, I guess.

RUKA: I usually feel like giving it my all when I’m acting since I can~

RUKA: Though, there are a lot of people on stage who believe in superstitions.

SHO: True. I think I have the same way of thinking. The world is not so simple that we can win on luck alone.

SHO: But, we can’t completely undermine luck and being lucky. That’s about it, I guess~

RUKA: Yep~! Samesies~

[11:43]

SHO: (chuckles) Hey, does everyone know the legend of Vega from the Lyra constellation? It’s one of the brightest stars in the Summer Triangle.

MAMIYA: That’s pretty sudden~ The Summer Triangle constellation is uh… Altair, Vega, and… Ah, Deneb! It’s that one, right?

MAMIYA: The only thing I know about it are the stars’ names.

OUKA: I’m the same.

RUKA: Wow, you’re amazing! I didn’t even know the stars’ names!

RUKA: I only know the words “Summer Triangle”.

SHO: (chuckles) That’s exactly it.

SHO: Lyra is the constellation that’s shaped like a musical instrument. It’s the lyre that appears in Greek mythology.

SHO: The story goes is that it’s Orpheus’s lyre up in the sky.

SHO: The legend says that Orpheus went to the Underworld to reclaim his departed wife.

SHO: He offered his music to the King of the Underworld and managed to charm him.

SHO: Though, it seems like he failed with his initial plans of bringing his beloved back.

SHO: I’ve been told this story when I was young and I remember admiring the music that was supposed to have swayed even the King of the Underworld’s heart.

SHO: I just remembered that suddenly.

RUKA: I feel like Sho-kun’s violin can shake the heart of the King of the Underworld, too~

SHO: No, no. I still have ways to go.

SHO: I think that the violin is something that I still have to learn for quite a long time.

SHO: It’s never-ending and it makes me feel a bit scared but, it has its own charm, too.

OUKA: It might be quite similar to the reason why I admire the universe.

OUKA: Something that we want to chase for an eternity.

RUKA: Ah, that kind of phrasing is perfect for my ideal stars!

RUKA: Something that we admire for eternity is something that we’d yearn for for a long time!

RUKA: Isn’t that cool~?

MAMIYA: I feel you. Though, it’d be a plus if I can make mine shorter.

MAMIYA: See? Just like those stars spreading above our heads right now.

MAMIYA: I can see them all the time and I feel like I can reach my hand out to them. They’re always watching over us.

MAMIYA: I was just thinking that it’d be nice if the fans thought of us like that, too.

OUKA: “Watching over” is so like you.

MAMIYA: Right?

SHO: Right now, we are the ones being watched over by the stars, huh?

SHO: Let’s continue to do our best so that we can become those kinds of admirable people~

RUKA: Yeah!

RUKA: (singing) ♪ Let’s go home, let’s go home~! I am the great Ruka-kun~! ♪

OUKA: Like I said, your voice is too loud.

MAMIYA: Alright, let’s sing together in a moderate tone then~

MAMIYA: Alright, Ouka, you too~!

OUKA: I won’t sing.

SHO: (chuckles) We’ll continue to make music that will shake your heart one day.

SHO: Beautiful and dazzling music just like the stars that’s dedicated for you.

==END==

※ Please don’t re-post the English translations without permission.

If you like this, please consider buying me a ko-fi here to support my work. (o^▽^o)Thank you!!

#tsukipro #vazzrock #rock down #vazzy #mamiya takaaki #kira ouka #onoda sho #nadumi ruka #drama cd #vazzrock translations #my translations #ouka and stars apparently make for a perfect image~!#if only i could draw i would draw it lol #queued post

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i-hyperfixate-too-much · 6 years

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I’m sorry. He’s dead…

A BIT OF A WHOLE NEW WORLD I’M SORRY I’M DYING CROSS OVER EY? WELL HERE I AM TO PAIN. @pleaseletthisjimbetaken ENJOY THE BULLSHIT I THOUGHT OF WHILE A BORING SCHOOL MEETING WAS HAPPENING. Masterpost to A whole new world is here and I’m Sorry, I’m Dying is linked right here

Edward had felt so satisfied. He had help treat the other’s illnesses and was taking some time to himself. Anthony and him were just starting a relationship. Everything seemed perfect. Unfortunately, Dark was returning…tomorrow… it was the last night they had. Edward took it upon himself to spend that night with Anthony. One final night of happiness. So we went to his room.

The rest of the night continued with the two cuddling, Edward fairly flustered at Anthony, who flirted with the doctor easily. The night was slow and calm. A perfect ending to a relaxed night. It wasn’t long before the two fell asleep, snuggling close to one another, a smile on both of their faces. In the morning, Dr.Iplier woke in his old bed. The feeling of freedom and openness gone, and the invisible chains that trapped him felt as cold as ever.

It was a few weeks later when he found the illness. The strange mix of pneumonia and the common cold. The sharp cough. The lack of appetite. The long sleepless nights. It was slow, but every minute of every day, he could feel the illness, weakening him. How he wished to be able to come up with a cure. Something was wrong with all his machines though. He tried to find out more on the illness, but all he got was a four word sentence. “I’m sorry. You’re dying”. He knew Dark was the one behind it all. He tried everything he could, but it all was useless, the words taunting him. He felt himself loose strength, starting to tire when he walked around. That’s when Host started helping. He taught the Host as much as he could, helping him find books that might help him make the cure, and making sure they we’re in braille. They worked so hard. Their relationship grew so close. But it was all for nothing.

The doctor had thought he had found the cure. He thought he had finally found a way to beat the manipulator who held him captive with this illness. While the Host was at a meeting, he stumbled to his office. He mixed up the serum. He ran the numbers. Once. Twice. What seemed like a thousand times. But it was finally prepared. He held it, ready to cure himself and show that asshole he wasn’t going without a fight. The feeling of dread that settled in his heart wouldn’t stop him. He took the needle, and stuck it into his arm. As he plunged the liquid into his body, he felt a burning sensation. He gasped in pain. Looking towards the syringe he saw a drip of the cure he had made drip onto the floor. Burning pain started to cover his body, he fell off of his chair, keeping himself from crying out. He coughed, the metallic taste of his own blood making him feel sick. He curled up, his stomach feeling like it was melting from the inside out. He heard the Host enter, mumbling his name with what little strength he could muster. He heard as the Host got to his knees, panicking as he searched for the Doctor, who finally looked up at the man he loved.

“I’m here.” His voice shook as he spoke, more blood being coughed up as he felt the burning sensation grow more and more “it hurts… it hurts so bad. It burns.” Tears started to run down his cheeks as he felt the blind man finally grab him and hold him close, mumbling about not being able to see the doctor.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry” his nose started running. Blood pouring out of it with his tears mingling with it. “I’m sorry” He clutched the Host’s arms like it could save him. Like it could keep him alive and okay.

“Sh. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay” The Host could barely keep the stutter out of his voice.

“I’m dying.” He said it starting to feel lightheaded. His breath leaving him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I wa-,” he paused, gulping, trying to catch his breath, “wanted to get better. I wanted to get better for you. I wanted to be better. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please.” His eyes started to burn as his vision slowly started turning red, like the tears streaming down his cheeks. “Forgive me.” His voice did not allow his thoughts to break through though. Despite how much he wanted to scream. He wanted to tell the Host how much he loved him. How much he wanted to stay. Just a day. How much he would give just for one more day with his love. But that god forsaken control Dark had wouldn’t break.

He heard the Host, his voice shaking as he barely got the words out, “I forgive you. Please. Just hold on.” The doctor chuckled as his vision slowly faded

“He-hey. I can’t see. I can’t see now either”

“Hold on. Hold on. I-I’ll find you. I’ll fix you” the Host could barely keep his own tears back, refusing to give up.

“I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry. There’s blood everywhere” his hands held on to the Host’s coat, the texture keeping him sane. Keeping him some semblance of calm. The Host cleared his throat as he began to narrate, hope filling the dying man. He talked about them living happily together while the doctor slowly lost his hearing. He called out. He needed the Host. He couldn’t feel. He couldn’t see. He couldn’t hear. He was going to die. He knew it. He couldn’t stop it. He was goi-

——–

Dark walked Dr.Iplier’s office soon after, seeing the Host in there, cradling the dead body of the man he loved. If he could feel anything he would have smirked. He couldn’t have happiness. He couldn’t love. So why should anyone else be allowed to? He walked away, a strange feeling he hadn’t felt in a long time pulsing through his chest. He stood a bit straighter, acted a bit more professional. Seemed a bit more, full of himself for the rest of the day.

Tag List, go on and ask me if you’d like on. I may not post stories daily, but when i do post one. B E S C A R E D.:@destinggirl @bobeatspie300 @splatoon-jim @just-another-starfish @the-asexual-reaper @ironwoman359 @punknerdmusings @immortalpoptart @221biotchplease @evanisonfire @queensephonereaper @arrival-of-the-jims @thedundundunnnsong @sigma-time-lord @forgottenbehindtheinternet @theinvisiblespoon @readeatfightlove13 @niluith-moonlady

#pink's story #darkiplier #the host #dr.iplier #a whole new world #i'm sorry i'm dying #combo story #lay me down by the dirty heads came on as i was doing tag list.#and like #o w #it fits

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believethaticanandiwill · 6 years

Text

I Won’t Let Anybody Hurt You

Hi Guys, So this is my first ever Fic. its pretty long and i know it isn't perfect, but that being said, if i don't post it now I'm pretty sure i never will. i’ve followed this fandom since the last episode of the second series, and have fell in love with all of the beautifully written fics. one day hopefully, my writing will be half as good as yours. I’m pretty new a tumblr too so i stick out like a sore thumb. it takes place during the night of the party at Ians, just a pre warning. hope you enjoy xxx

“I won’t let anybody hurt you. You’re safe with me”

Its been a few hours since he got in bed, music off, so his dad thinks he’s asleep and he doesn’t have to answer any of his questions about Rae. The question that angers him most is “tell me what happened between you two, I thought you both made each other happy.” If he knew why they split he probably wouldn’t spend most his nights punishing himself for fucking up so bad. He’s not sure where he went wrong, but he obviously did. The second question he hates almost as much is “You’re not happy with Olivia, are you?” Of course he isn’t happy with Olivia, it wasn’t even meant to get this deep, his first date with her was only meant to be a favour for Macca, “please Finn, remember the time I took Vicky out so you and Stacey could get some time alone?” He feels sick just thinking about it. Yes Macca had taken Vicky out so him and Stacey could be alone, possibly get down to business, but he realised pretty quickly while they were alone that that wasn’t what he wanted, that Stacey was a bitch, that she didn’t care about anyone but herself and her popularity, he ended it pretty quickly after that, but yet Macca still claims that him taking Vicky out, was for Finn’s benefit only.

He always tries to be a good boy, a good Lad, He’s never brought any real trouble home to his dads door, he always does the right thing for his friends, which is how he’s ended up taking Olivia on this stupid date in the first place. A fucking Wine Bar, he knew he was out of his depth as soon as he walked in. He knew of Olivia from around the town, heard about her lapping the attention from younger lads, but he never really cared for gossip. He still doesn’t now. So while on this date with Olivia, he drinks the horrible vinegar tasting red liquid like its water, hoping to kill the pain that’s been in his chest ever since Rae left him on his doorstep. The more he drank, the more his guard slipped, and the next he remembers is waking up the following morning naked in Olivia’s bed. He was sick that morning, told Olivia it was just his hangover when she’d asked him if he was okay. But it wasn’t his hangover, no it was the guilt, how could he of slept with her when he didn’t even know her surname? How could he of slept with her when he was so in love with Rae? Olivia stuck around like a bad smell after that day, and he began to like the feeling of being wanted by somebody, and besides she wasn’t a horrible person, so he began to put the effort in with Olivia. But still every night, he’d find himself lay in his bed staring up at his ceiling, wondering where he went wrong with Rae, wondering when it will stop hurting so much, wondering if she’s okay. He’d ended it not quickly enough with Olivia, but at least now, he can love and care for Rae without feeling guilty.

He turns on his side to look at his alarm clock, it reads 03:17 and he can’t believe he’s been in his bed since he got in from Rae’s at six forty-five pm, she’d blew him off to go to a party with Chloe and these older lads, something about the lads cause him to shudder and it sets him on edge even more not only is he worried about Rae, he’s now also worried for Chloe too. Soon after he can hear the house phone ringing, he knows it isn’t for him, its probably his dads work, he’s been working a lot more recently. Just as he decides he best answer, it stops he relaxes back in his bed but literally two seconds later the phone rings again, its cut off pretty quickly so he assumes his dads answered. He’s correct, he can hear his dad’s faint voice telling whoever is on the other side of the phone not to worry, and he’ll check, there’s a soft knock on his bedroom door and before he can tell his dad to come in, the door is opened.

“Finn are you awake lad?” he replies with a horse “yeah” his voice is tight with panic.

“Linda, Rae’s mum is on the phone for you” his dad takes a seat on his bed and holds the phone out for Finn to take. He’s panicking now.

“Linda, are you okay? Is Rae okay?” he asks, her reply really gets him worrying. Linda explains that her and Rae have gotten into it a lot recently, and that during their last argument Linda had said some pretty terrible things, one being that she didn’t want to bring her baby up around Rae and the other telling Rae to go and live with her dad because she’d done her shift. She’s crying down the phone and Finn tells her to calm down before she causes herself or the baby some trouble. He’s pretty mad though, how can Linda say anything of such to Rae, If he can tell that something isn’t right with Rae then surly her own mother knows. He’ll be even more furious if Linda has lay a hand on Rae, the day she’d turned up on his doorstep, cheek red with a handprint, had broke his heart.

Linda goes on to ask if he’s heard off Rae at all, that she’d tried Archie who gave her his number, and Chloe is meant to be staying out at a mates. Finn doesn’t want to lie to Linda, but he doesn’t want to out Rae either, so he tells Linda that while he hadn’t exactly heard from Rae, he knew that there was a party tonight and he’d be happy to phone and find out if she was there, before calling Linda back. She thanks him before apologising for waking him and his dad up before saying, “speak to you shortly”

Finn puts the phone down before looking up at his dad. He doesn’t know what his face looks like but it must be bad if his dad is pulling him into a hug and kissing his forehead. “She’ll be alright son, you get calling around, ill go fix the kettle.” but before his dad makes it to his bedroom door, the house phone is ringing, he picks it up with a rushed “lo”.

“Hi, I’m sorry to call so late, but my names Kester, and I’m looking for a Finn, is Finn home?”

“It’s me, I’m Finn” He reply’s wondering why the name Kester sounds familiar to him.

“Oh great, well I’m calling on behalf of Rae, sh” he’s quick to cut Kester off, “Rae’s there? Is she safe, I’m coming right now tell her, what is the address?”

“Wait Finn,” Kester rushes “before you come you need to know that she’s very upset, I can’t get anything out of her apart from your name and number, she doesn’t look hurt but something has happened, she’s very drunk.”

Finns head is spinning so much it takes a minute for him to reply, he looks up and his dad is back in his room in his coat and shoes with Finn’s jacket and boots in his hands, Finn gets the address from Kester and is shocked to find that Rae isn’t even in the same town as the party, she’s only 20 minutes away. Finn hangs up and almost falls as he rushes to his feet, his dad tells him to breath, but Finn is practically already down the stairs. He’s glad his dad stops to call Linda back, he can hear him telling Linda for her to sleep, Rae is okay to spend the night in the spare room, and either himself or Finn will drop her home first thing in the morning.

He Finds himself jittering in the car, he’s glad his dad has come, even happier his dad is driving, his nerves have got the better of him, he feels as if he’ll be sick and second and he’s already chewed his nails to the point they’re bleeding. His dad tells him she’ll be okay, but how can she be? His dad doesn’t know that lads she’s been hanging around with, and where the fuck is Chloe?

They pull up to a house, which has the porch light on, Finn gets out, and knocks quietly; his dad squeezes his shoulder in support. The door opens and Finn is facing a short, bald man, who he surmises is Kester, although he doesn’t look much like the Kester he’s imagined. Kester welcomes both men in and leads them through the his living room to a narrow hall, he points to a door and tells Finn she’s in there, that he’ll go and fix some drinks. Finn looks over his shoulder to his dad, his dad nodding him on and that’s when he hears it, Rae’s hushed sobs. He knocks once and opens the door calling out “Rae”.

The rooms pretty bright and he spots her sat on the floor next to the toilet, itching her right hand mercifully. He shuts the bathroom door behind him and is sat gathering her into his arms in 3 seconds, but she flinches and yelps, and it sends shivers down his spine. Something has happened to Rae, something terrible. He says her name again, a little clearer this time hoping the confidence in his voice comes through; she flinches but doesn’t look at him. “Rae, its me Finn, please look at me” is voice cracks. She looks up and sobs a little “Finn” before breaking down into the most heart wrenching sobs. He tries again to pull her into his arms, this time she allows him, and she easily rests her head in-between his shoulder and neck. He kisses her head and tells her “Shhh, its okay Rae, tell me what I need to do to make you feel safe” but she just sobs harder and harder.

“Rae please, please at least tell me if we need to get you some medical help, it okay if we do, I’ll come with you, stay with you, I won’t let anybody touch you, I promise” he places another kiss on her head preying that she answers him. He gives her a minute because it feels like her sobs are calming slightly, and he knows if she isn’t crying so hard, there is a chance that she will tell him what she needs. It looks like he’s correct because soon she’s shaking her head against his chest and then she whispers; “I don’t need to go to hospital, but please don’t leave me.”

He pulls her in tighter tells her he wont leave her, he’s quiet for a few minutes, he knows he should start trying to move her, but she obviously feels safe in this room, if she wouldn’t even sit with Kester, while he made his way here. He thinks he feels relieved that she doesn’t need to go to the hospital, but the he thinks he’d much [refer her needing to go to the hospital with a minor injury, than her being like this, sat on a cold bathroom floor, scared for her life, trying to be as small as possible, while barely making a sound. This isn’t his Rae. His Rae is full of life, loud and knows what she wants.

After what probably has only been five minutes, but what feels like twenty, he asks her “what happened Rae? I thought you were at the party with Chloe, how did you get here?”

“I did go to the party, I shouldn’t have gone, I should have stayed with you. I’m sorry Finn, I’m meant to be your friend and I just left you when I you needed me”

“Hey, come on now, that’s okay, we can talk about this another time, that isn’t important now, what is important is that you’re safe. Please tell me Rae.” She starts sobbing again and he figures he should stop pressing the matter for now, but then he feels her grab is bicep a bit tighter, and he knows she’s going to tell him.

“I went to that party, and Ian and Saul were handing out a lot of drinks, I didn’t like the way Saul was holding onto me, the way he was watching me, it made me feel uneasy, so I went to the toilet, so I could, think of a way to get out, without him being able to watch me, but he came in, handed me a drink and locked the door behind him, he told me it was water, so I had a sip, and then dropped it, pretended it was an accident, but it wasn’t, it wasn’t water, it had a funny smell. He called me stupid and got pretty mad, and I told him I was sorry, he calmed down and said it was okay, and started kissing my neck. I told him No but he ignored me, pushed me into the space between the sink and the bath, and started feeling up my leg.” She stops abruptly, and my jaw is clenched, how dare he touch Rae when she says no. Rae lets out another sob, and I feel a tear drop onto my cheek, I sniff and ask her what next she takes a few deep breaths before replying, “I kept telling him No, that I wasn’t interested, and that I wanted to go home, and he lost it said he’d always wanted to have sex with a bigger lady, said that he was hard for me and that I should just touch it, pulled down his zip to show me how hard he was”… she stops and blanches, and I blanch too. This is bad already, I don’t know if ill be able to hear anymore without being sick. Before I ask anything she starts talking again “… he kept pushing me against the wall, kept trying to kiss me, kept telling me not to be frigid. I pushed him back off me and tried to escape, but he caught me, dragged me back and I slipped on the floor mat. I kept pushing him and pushing him, even punched him like you taught me, but as I punched him, I threw myself back and hit my head off the bath, everything went black for a minute” and that’s when I see her knuckle is slightly swollen, that there is a slight trace of blood. I kiss her head, and gently lift her swollen right hand so I can get a closer look, it isn’t too bad, it just needs a bit of ice and rest and I’m sure It will be fine, but I kiss her wrist a few times, she smiles faintly.

“What happened when you came round Rae, has he done anything else to you?”

“No, when I opened my eyes he was unlocking the bathroom door, saying how he should have known he’d need a bit of help with me, I heard him shout for Ian, I got up and checked he wasn’t there before making my way out, I saw Chloe at the bottom of the stairs but she wasn’t interested, said she was staying. So I left and I ran as fast as I could for as long as I could, before I flagged down a bus, he let me on, but he’s gone to the depo up the road, so I walked here.”

“Sit a bit forward for me girl” she does as he asks, he moves her hair around her head looking for any signs of injury, he notices she filches when she can’t see his movements. “Its okay Rae, I wont let anybody hurt you, you’re safe with me, I promise,” she relaxes her shoulders and softly whispers “I Know”. Once he’s sure there is no blood on her head he shifts to the side and pulls her back close.

“My dads here, how about we go back to mine, I’ll check you over and I’ll run you a bath and then you can get some sleep?”

“What if he finds me Finn.” she sobs, “What if he hurts Chloe? I shouldn’t have left without Chloe. I need to go back and get her” He pulls her in tight again before carefully choosing his words. “Look Rae, to me it sounds like you did the best you could. Chloe didn’t want to come, She didn’t feel bad when she told you No. You absolutely should have left; you know what they could have done to you Rae. You know that right? He could have done so much worse than he already has, and there is no way after a blow to the head, that you’d be able to fight off more than one. Look, lets get you sorted, I’m sure my dad will go get Chloe.”

“I need to know she’s safe Finn, it was a shitty thing of her to do but she’s still my best friend.” Rae starts sobbing again. He can’t help but be mad at Chloe, drunk or not he can’t forgive her for leaving Rae to make her way home herself. He can’t forgive her for introducing Rae to those twats.

“Okay Rae, Shhhh, look, err we’ll go out into the living room and tell my dad about Chloe, I’ll ring Chloe’s house and see if she’s home. And if she isn’t then we’ll go and find her, but you have to stay in the car with my dad okay. He wont hurt you, I promise.” She nods her head, and he feels relieved that he hasn’t had to fight any harder with her about this matter. “Are you ready to go” he asks. She doesn’t reply, but she moves off him. He finds himself missing her touch. He stands and holds out a hand for her to grab so he can help her up which she takes. He’s happy; this is something she never did while they were together, however once she stands up and she tries to walk she knocks into him. He’s quick to steady her with his arms, before realising that she must have hit her head pretty hard. He wraps her arms around his neck and tells her to hold on which she does. He lifts he and she mutters something about him being strong. He opens the bathroom door and makes his way down the small hall towards the living room, where both his dad and Kester stand from their chairs. He goes to sit Rae on the couch but she tightens her grip around his shoulders and tells him “Please don’t leave me” and he gets it. She needs to be able to touch him, she needs him to hold her and keep them away. So he sits on the couch with her cradled in his arms. He looks over to his dad who looks ever so worried now he’s seen Rae with his own eyes. He catches his dad’s eye and looks at him as if to say ‘don’t come any closer’.

“Rae love, how about we get you back to ours?” Rae hides her face deeper into Finns chest and tightens her arms around him.

Mr Nelson looks to his son as Finn speaks up; “Chloe is still at the party, and Rae thinks she might be in danger, so if you don’t mind Kester could I use your phone to call Chloe’s house?”

Mr Nelson takes a seat and sips his cold tea. He’s always been proud of Finn, but right now, his young man sat in front of him protecting the girl he loves at all costs, holding it together for her, even though Mr Nelson can tell he wants to cry, well he’s never been prouder. His thought process causes him to miss out on the scene in front of him, he only just catches his son holding the phone to Rae’s ear while she whispers something down it. Soon enough the phone call is over and Finn is standing with Rae still in his arms.

“So where is it we need to go? Do you know the address?” Mr Nelson stands, reaching into his coat pocket for his keys.

“We’re going home Da, Chloe is home in bed, Rae’s spoken to her, lets get Rae back to ours so she can rest” Finn doesn’t miss the side glance both Kester and His dad give each other, he can see the anger in both their eyes at the fact that Chloe is safe at home, and Rae has been through god knows what, he reckons that anger is reflected in his own eyes.

“Thanks for calling me Kester, I’ll make sure she’s okay from here and I’ll speak to her mum in the morning, I’m guessing Linda will be wanting to speak with you also” Finn smiles at Kester

“Thanks, for coming, I’ve given your dad my number in case you need to call me for anything.” And Finn thinks the way Kester says anything, he means if Finn needs to talk about any of tonight’s happenings too. He decides he likes Kester. He looks down at Rae to find that she is light sleeping, instead of waking her by talking he smiles at Kester and looks down to Rae to let them know she’s nodded off. Kester walks and opens the front door for them, and Mr Nelson runs to unlock and open the car doors. He holds the door open and helps Finn onto the back seat without disturbing Rae as much as possible, before closing the door quietly.

Most of the journey home, he notices that Finn doesn’t take his eyes off Rae, he also notices the tears that fall on his sons cheeks. Once home, Finn carries Rae up to his room and lays her on his bed, she comes to a bit and calls out for fin. Finn bends to stroke her hair out of her eyes before softly telling her he’s there. Rae opens her eyes and sits up she spots Mr Nelson and he makes himself useful by excusing himself to get to fixing the teas he wanted to start over two hours ago.

“I’m goanna go and run you the bath, ill be right back okay? And then once you’ve had a soak ill get you straight to bed” Rae replies “Thanks Finn”

Finn leave his room and calls down to his dad for and Ice pack and some spare towels, before moving onto the bathroom where he turns the taps on and pours in some bubble bath. He heads back to his room and helps Rae to remove her shoes, before guiding her to his bathroom. He keeps a tight grip on her, as he’s not fully confident she’ll be able to keep herself up if he wants to hold onto her. He sits her on the toilet while the bath carries on running, before heading over to the bathroom door to watch for his dad coming up the stairs.

“Here you go son, I don’t have any ice packs but frozen peas should do the trick, are you sure she doesn’t need the hospital?” before Finn can reply, Rae pipes up “I’m okay Mr Nelson, I’m sorry for being such a pain, thank you for letting me stop” Mr Nelson looks over his sons shoulder and sees Rae sat on the toilet, “its not a problem Rae, as long as you’re okay, do you need anything? And please call me Gary” she replies, “I’m okay Gary, Finn’s taken such good care of me”. Gary looks at his son and nods, “ I’ll just be down stairs if you need anything” and Finn shuts the door. He walks over to the bath and turns the taps off. Places the towels over the radiator so they’re warm for Rae when she needs them.

“There’s Shampoo and conditioner on the shelf, the soaps on the side, I’ll just be outside call me if you need anything okay” He worries if she’ll be able to get in the bath or not unaided, but he’s surprised to find her standing, she’s holding onto the sink no less but at least she’s standing. She smiles so he exits and goes to take seat on the stairs but his dad is already there.

“You okay son? You need anything?” and Finn crumbles, he quietly sobs into his dads chest. Tonight has been horrible but he’s so relieved that it hasn’t ended any other way, he worries that Rae isn’t going to be able to come back from this, he worries what her mum is going to say in a few hours. The one thing he doesn’t worry about is this Twat Saul coming back, because he knows he’ll have him if he does. Gary Kisses Finns head a few times while Finn settles. Finn sniffs and wipes his eyes before speaking. “Thanks for tonight Da, I’m sorry it’s so late and you have work tomorrow. I’ve got some money, maybe you should take tomorrow off and rest and I can give you some cash so you’re not missing out on a days wage, Its probably about time I start helping out a bit more.”

Gary can’t believe the young man his son has become, he can’t help but tear up slightly, “Finn, you don’t have to do that, yes money is a bit tight at the minute but its only because of Nan’s funeral. Everything will be back to usual soon, don’t worry about me going to work tomorrow, I’m due a few days anyway” Gary smiles and pulls his son in tight again. It’s not long before there’s a quiet shout for Finn, Gary pats his sons back and makes his way back down the stairs. Finn stands and knocks on the bathroom door ‘Rae, is everything okay?”

“Can you come in Finn?” Finn swallows before entering, he finds Rae soaking in the bath; her hair is full of bubbles. He looks over at her and she smiles embarrassingly. “I’m sorry to call you in but I’ve got bubbles in my hair and I cant get them out could you help me please?” he lets out a little chuckle before grabbing the glass off the side and walking over and kneeling down behind the bath. He fills the glass with water and tells her to lean her head back, he rinses her hair a few times, making sure there are no bubbles left, he apologises when she hisses. He figures he’s handled her head a bit to roughly. He sets the glass down on the side of the bath and kisses the back of her head once more, before standing; he wipes his hand on the hand towel and asks, “anything else you need?”

Rae yawns and speaks “no I think I’m pretty much done in here now, could you hand me a towel please?” Finn turns and does as she asks, he turns to leave the room to give her some privacy, just as he’s about to open the door to leave Rae speaks up “Erma Finn, do you, I mean could you, its alright if not, but would you be able to help me out, I feel pretty weak.” She’s nervous he can tell, so he flashes her a reassuring smile before saying “course girl”. He bends to pull the plug but before he pulls it he asks if she’s ready, she’s blushed and he can hear her muttering. Eventually she agrees. He pulls the plug and takes the towel from her hand throwing it over his shoulder, before placing his arms around her to help pull her up. She stands and grips his shoulders, but doesn’t look up. He wraps the towel around her, but she looks down as if she’s embarrassed. He tickles her chin and she looks up at him, he smiles one more before wrapping her arms around his neck and moving to lift her, he carries her through to his bedroom, sitting her on his bed, while he goes back to the bathroom to get the other towel for her hair.

He hands her the towel and points to her hair, before he walks over to his draws. He pulls out a new pair of his boxers, a pair of his pyjama bottoms he’s not worn before, as he usually sleeps in his skin or boxers if the lads are around, and he digs around his bottom draw for the oasis top he got Rae at Knebworth. He never gave it to her, because he thought he’d look pathetic, but right now he’s not bothered about looking pathetic, he’d happily be pathetic all the time if it meant Rae was okay. He made his way back over to her and she’s softly towel drying her hair, he hands her the pile of clothes and excuses himself downstairs.

His dad is drinking a cuppa on the chair when Finn walks in. “Kettles just boiled, I rang Linda and told her Rae was here, that something has happened but she was okay right now and that you were making her comfortable in bed. The SPARE bed” Finn glances back at his dad with pleading eyes, he promised Rae he’d stay with her, he doesn’t want to have this argument with his dad tonight maybe, he could sleep on the floor. Gary starts to chuckle, “look son, I’m not about to move Rae to the spare room, its obvious to me that she needs you, however you’re not to tell Linda about this, and if she does find out, you make sure she knows I know nothing about it. She said she’ll be round just after mid-day to give Rae some time to rest, so that gives her at least 5 hours kip” It’s the first time Finns looked at the clock since leaving the house to go get Rae. He’s shocked to see that its gone 6am, he really should be getting Rae settled. “Thanks Da, I’m just going to get her some fresh Ice and a glass of water, do we have any paracetamol?”

Garry follows him into the Kitchen and roots through a draw pulling out a packet with a few tablets left in it. “No more than two, and I wouldn’t give Rae any until she’s slept a bit first.” Finn takes the tablets with a thanks and places them in his back pocket, he fills two glasses with water, and turns to find his dad rooting through the freezer draws, “Frozen chips will have to do this time, throw me the peas down and I’ll freeze them in case she needs them in the morning.” Finn takes the chips and calls a “night Da love you” before heading back up the stairs, he knocks on his bedroom door and rates still sat in the same place she was when he left, only this time, she’s dressed in the clothes he’s given her. He takes the frozen peas and throws them down to his dad wafting at the foot of the stairs, before standing Rae up and pulling back the covers. “In you get” he says, she slides, in and he covers her up, he doesn’t miss the panicked look she throws him “please don’t leave me Finn, please”

“I’m not, I made you a promise, I’m just going to wash my face and get changed, and I’ll be right back”

He’s imagined Rae being in his bed so many times he’s lost count. He’s never imagined her sharing his bed after anything like this though. He quickly changes, brushes his teeth and washes his face before heading back to his room and turning off his light. He turns his lamp on and gets into bed next to Rae, she turns on to her side and looks at him, so he matches her move, her eyes are shining and she looks like she’s holding in a sob, ““I won’t let anybody hurt you. You’re safe with me” he reputes his words once more to her, and that’s when he sees her tears start to fall, he moves as close as he can wrapping her in his arms once more. “You’re safe Rae, I promise, shah now, you need to sleep girl.” he places kiss after kiss on her hairline, and soon she settles into him, she makes to move back but he holds her to him “you’re fine where you are, ill be here when you wake up okay” he tells her, she lowers his head to his chest and kisses him once before laying her head there. It’s not too long before her soft snores fill the room. He stays awake for a while making sure her sleep isn’t fitful, before he drops one final kiss to her head, and closes his eyes for the rest he’s so desperately craving, he knows its going to be a rough few days.

TBC? Maybe

I don’t know how it works so i’m just going to tag a few people, let me know if you don’t want to be tagged in anything of mine ever again, or if you do.

@mmfdfanfic @kneekeyta @bitchy-broken @my-mad-fatuation @lily-pop-2

#mmfd mmfdfanfic Rinn

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stereksummerexchange · 7 years

Text

Couldn't let you go

@do-what-the-knight-tells-you | AO3

I’m very sorry for being late so much. I’m in the middle of my exams, so I’m not in my right mind at the moment and I was so SURE today was the day I should have posted it, but I got it wrong so I’m sorry. Anyway, this is the first chapter, the next will come in a week or so, and there will be around… three or four chapters… for now. I don’t exactly know, it could get bigger. But I hope you like it! I really hope you like it.

by @frostniskare

NSFW - Hurt Stiles,Soul Bond, Wolf!Derek, Alpha Derek, Alpha Scott, McCall Pack, Hale-McCall Pack, Hale Pack, Bottom Stiles Stilinski, Top Derek, Knotting

A violent cough shook his chest, prompting another scream. “I don’t want him to die!” Stiles tried to answer that. He opened his mouth to speak, but something was choking him- it felt like drowning, and he coughed again, something warm and wet spilling from his lips, something with a metallic taste.

Usually, when everything was reduced to a mess of black, red and white shining spots, blood was being shed.

“Is he breathing? Please, fuck, tell me he’s still-”

Stiles had around fifteen seconds of ringing in his ears and floating sensation before the world started spinning again and with it came back the pain, flaring inside of him.

“-n you hear me? Stiles, can you hear me? He’s not ans-”

Someone was screaming, he realized, but it took hima while to understand it was him. How did it happen? How did he get hurt? The last thing he could remember was red eyes… and a hot white pain in his guts. Then a sound of breaking bones and here he was, harshly breathing.

“-n’t you dare sleep, Stiles, I swe- kill you if you tr-”

A violent cough shook his chest, prompting another scream. People were all over him, but he couldn’t recognize the voices, couldn’t recognize the silouhettes, couldn’t do anything but focus on the pain.

“-ott, let me do it. Let me Bite him, let me save him!”

“Derek, Stiles doesn’t want to be like us, he just-”

A strong roar seemed to vibrate through Stiles’ body. “I don’t want him to die!”

Stiles tried to answer that. He opened his mouth to speak, but something was choking him- it felt like drowning, and he coughed again, something warm and wet spilling from his lips, something with a metallic taste. He heard someone scream his name, but the words fainted again, hard to understand their meaning, hard to stay awake.

Before the world went black, he heard just one whisper, one he couldn’t understand.

“Use your spark, Derek. Your Alpha spark.”

Something has changed.

He started being able to feel the power inside of him after Doc told him about his spark. He started being able to feel the magic running along with his blood, to focus on it and find its core inside his chest, close to his heart.

Now, focusing on it, it feels different. It is different. His spark once shined bright white when he closed his eyes, but now… now he can see blue, green and under it all… red. His spark is enveloping the red, a warm magic embrace of sorts, like it’s protecting it. He doesn’t understand. Spark aren’t red; wolves are.

He focuses on the red light more, that’s when he feels it. He feels the wolf inside of him, protected by his magic, using its power, giving its own in return in an endless bond. When he feels it, the wolf feels him too; the red intensifies as the wolf tips its head back and howls.

Something has changed.

There’s a wolf inside of him. It’s an Alpha.

Waking up with the sun right in your fucking face when the last time you had your eyes open it was pitch black outside was a bitch, Stiles could attest to that.

“Someone please turn off the sun” he mumbled, still not daring to open his eyes, not even knowing if he was alone or not, except he knew there was someone there. He thought he heard a gasp as soon as he spoke, then the fucking sun went away and the place turned dark enough for him to lift his eyelids just that bit to look around.

Firstly he noticed was that it wasn’t a hospital room. In fact it was… it was his room, Stiles’ room. Secondly, he felt the dull but strong pain in every single cell of his body. Thirdly, apparently the sun didn’t go away, but simply someone was directly in front of the window, shielding him from its light.

“Thank God you’re alive, son.” Stiles knew that voice. “We were starting to think you weren’t gonna make it.”

“Hey, daddy-o” His dad looked ill, for the lack of a better word: pale skin, red, puffy eyes like he had been crying, lips stretched in a thin line of concern. “You know me, hard to get rid of. How long have I been out?”

Noah hesitated. “Two weeks. We were starting to lose hope.”

The relief Stiles had felt for being alive suddenly crashed under the fear of leaving his own father alone. Of leaving his friends alone. A strange, tugging feeling made itself present inside his chest when he thought about his pack, but the human decided to not pay it too much attention for the moment.

He fell silent, trying to gauge what to say next. “What happened?”

“They took you to Deaton,” Noah sighed. “Scott thought about taking you to the hospital, but everyone had their own wounds and no one could take there without setting off some kind of investigation. So they took you to the vet, called Melissa and patched up as good as possible.”

“Scott called you next?”

“No, it was Derek,” Stiles’ eyebrows climbed to his hairline. “He phoned me as soon as Doc judged you stable. He also helped me bringing you home.”

“Where is Derek now? Where’s the pack?” he tried to get up, but pain flared like fire from his guts, forcing him to lay back down even if the sheriff tried blocking him as well. “Please tell me no one died.”

“Calm down, son” Noah responded. “You’re the only one stupid enough to be in the way of an alpha werewolf without super healing powers.”

“I know, I know, fragile human skin and all of that. But Erica needed saving, and who better than her Batman could help?” he tried to turn it into sarcasm, but it came out a little too serious. His father looked exasperated and proud at once.

“And I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He stood up, moving away from the bed, the sun now free to stab Stiles’ eyes again. “I’m going to call the others, they’re going to be sick worried for you. Actually I’m surprised they’re not still here, especially Derek.”

Again, Stiles felt something tug in his chest, tugging towards the door. “What about him now?”

“He stayed here all the time, basically moved in the guest room.” Noah stopped in the middle of the room. “Is there anything I should know, Stiles?”

The boy felt a blush warming his cheeks. “Well, it was just a matter of time before the guy lost his damned mind, if that’s what you mean.” And in that right moment, they both noticed a figure in the doorway, leaning against the wall. The tug inside Stiles settled like it had never been there.

“Pot, kettle” said Derek, speaking low as if louder would have hurt the human. Surprisingly, Stiles didn’t answer, he just… stared. And stared. And stared.

He almost casually noticed the werewolf’s ears turning a bright pink before his dad cleared his voice. “Well, I’m… I’m going. To call Scott, yes, I’m going to call Scott and tell the others you’re okay” he basically fled, leaving the two guys alone, both deadly silent.

“You can…” Stiles coughed awkwardly. “You can sit, you know. I’m not going to bite.”

Derek nodded, but stayed where he was. “Much better here, I don’t want to risk getting infected by your masochist streak and get claws in my stomach.”

Stiles felt his face turn scorching hot. “For the record, I got it from you, so no risk possibly existing.”

The alpha wisely chose to not reply, instead coming to sit where the sheriff had been just a couple of minutes before. He observed him, attention and concern clear in his colourful eyes, not another word spoken for several long minutes. For all he kept quiet first, Stiles couldn’t really keep his mouth shut for that long.

“How close of a call had that been?” he whispered at last, not breaking eye contact not even for a second, waiting for the answer. Such thing never came, though, and after a while Derek looked away. Stiles almost believed he would not say anything else, but he was wrong.

“Closer then we would have liked” the words were almost whispered, as if Stiles shouldn’t have caught them. Suddenly, a flashback went off in his mind, like a vivid dream.

“-ott, let me do it. Let me Bite him, let me save him!”

“Use your spark, Derek. Your Alpha spark.”

“You wanted to bite me. You thought I wouldn’t make it.” Derek turned so fast Stiles almost worried about whiplash before realizing he spoke outloud and that was why a wide eyed werewolf was ready to flee from the room. He cleared his voice, trying to calm down his suddenly fast heart rate. “I heard you asking Scott, before blacking out. I think I did, at least.”

“You did. But no, you’re still… you.” the Alpha closed his eyes, as if it was hard for him to say it. “The Bite wasn’t that needed in the end.” Right. “You found another way,” he took in a breath. “I also heard someone telling you to use your spark. What does it mean, Derek? What spark?”

“I… The spark is…”

“HOLY SH-You’re alive! You actually made it!” Scott definitely saved Derek from answering, by simply throwing himself on the bed with Stiles, forgetting the fragile, pale human was hurt. Stiles’ answering pained groan wasn’t heard over Derek’s roar. Scott almost roared back, but got control back in time to just flash his red eyes to the Hale Alpha. “Right,” he grimaced. “Guts on the wood floor just two weeks ago. Sometimes I forget you suck at healing, man.”

Stiles stuck out his tongue in a very mature act. “You were even shittier when human, so shut up.” He relaxed back on the bed, watching his best friend get cozy sitting at his side. “So, whatcha doin’? Everyone fine?”

“Yep. We all healed, after all. Except for you, that is.” Scott frowned, suddenly serious. “You almost died, dude. Try and not scare us all like that, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. You know I can’t do that. How’s Erica?”

Derek spoke. “She’s fine. Feeling guilty, but fine. You should probably tell her something when they all come back from their patrolling duty.” He shrugged, not meeting anyone’s eyes for a change, but then he got up, moving towards the hall.

“What, where’re you-” Stiles tried sitting up again. “Derek, we were not done here!” Derek ignored him, like Stiles hadn’t seen that coming. “I’m going to call Deaton, you stay here.”

Stiles let himself fall down, ignoring his pain. “As if I can move.”

Scott tilted his head to the side. “But you can…t. No, you can’t, right, no chance” he bit his lips, like he had said something he shouldn’t have. “Waiting for Doc here.”

Stiles turned to his so-called best friend. “Why do I have the feeling you’re hiding something from me?” the werewolf had always been shit at lying – for most part – and then was no exception. “Like the “You can’t move” stuff.”

Scott sighed, giving up fairly easily. “Technically, you could move. Y’know, go aroung, sit up… Easy moving stuff.” Stiles just looked at him, his face a big loud sarcastic bitchface, trying to convey how much was he calling bullshit in that exact moment.

“What about “guts on the floor two weeks ago”?”

“That’s true, your guts were all over the ground, you were fucking dying!” Scott climbed off the bed. “But you’re healing, so it’s just a matter of how much it hurts.”

“Of course, I’m healing, that’s what a fuctioning human body does when it does not die! It heals, you moron!”

Scott huffed, annoyed. “Yes, but what I mean is that you’re healing faster than a human!”

Stiles froze, heart loud once again, color draining from his face. “What.”

“You’re healing faster. Like… like us.”

“Like us?”

“Like werewolves.”

#stereksummerexchange17 #sse17 #sterek #submission #fic

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