#sorry about the break last week
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*tosses these into a pit and bolts*
#pondhead memes#danny phantom#I’m not sorry#dp x dc#danny fenton#tucker foley#sam manson#supervillain danny au#everlasting trio#villain!everlasting trio#Red Robin tried to challenge Foley at various things#not only can Foley hack better than him#he has Superman level strength and just breaks anything they capture him with#Manson beat the shit out of Harley and Ivy#and then teamed up with them#Fenton literally broke into the watchtower to warn the JL about his partners plans to take over the world#like yeah he loves her but taking over the world is HIS thing and also she ate the last bagel#that was a weird week for everyone#Damian definitely got adopted#completely by accident too#they were just chilling underground when he found them tried to fight them and got knocked into the portal gun they’d been using to commute#he got zapped to amity and Dani adopted him as her brother On Sight#the trio just kind of went along with it and now he knows all their secrets#he keeps their secrets on the condition he gets to come to amity and do the same thing they’re doing#which is fight people who are already dead and be a menace#Danny is very proud of his new stabby child and now has an excuse not to be adopted by Batman#in fact he appears one day as Fenton and demands child support#dpxdc
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MCYT Chat Screenshots (Part 5)
5 Pictures for part 5! I have way too many of these haha
This is actually the end of the ones I have saved up, so updates to this “series” will be slower now that I’m going to have to find new ones before I post them :)
#I had spring break last week and spent way to many hours watching sos#It’s becoming an issue#Mc sos#sos smp#Oli Orionsound#theorionsound#smallishbeans#joel smallishbeans#guys which name do I tag for these guys 😭#Owengejuicetv#Jimmy solidarity#Pixlriffs#Lizzie ldshadowlady#ldshadowlady#Idk why some of these are so fuzzy#Sorry about that#Moth’s posts
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Guys, I'm going to be honest. Maybe I'm still in shock because it's been like 2 minutes since I finished the DFF finale but
lmao that was so cheesy (affectionately)!
Come to think of it, with 50% of us screaming for blood and 50% of us (aka me) crying because why can't we all just get along, this is actually the perfect way to end things: make all of it become true and untrue at the same time.
The ending is so absurd and over the top and so predictable in being unpredictable that I actually feel well entertained. Just pure chaos. I don't know how else they could have let it end in only 30 minutes - except to not let it end.
Also, did I detect some Silent Hill 2 soundtrack vibes in those piano tunes when New was hallucinating? Because I appreciated that.
On a more serious note, the nightmare revelations were truly messed up and I appreciate that too. Psychological horror my beloved.
I guess in the end it's not about revenge or forgiveness or remorse at all but more about guilt and grief and punishment (and I guess that too is a lot like Silent Hill 2). A group of boys bully their classmate and in the process destroy the lives of a whole family. New gets his revenge on them, and more innocents die, and on and on it goes because no one ever truly deals with their guilt (and/or grief). Even in their drug-induced psychosis/happy ending Phee and Jin (whose nightmare is it anyway?) only wish they could help Tee... and then they do nothing. The whole thing literally becomes this beginning-less, never-ending miasma - a monster bearing Non's face (and now I'm just stuck on my Silent Hill 2 parallels and I should probably stop and listen to some Akira Yamaoka to get it out of my system).
*but also that Jin potentially hallucinated two whole years of uni is probably the worst punishment of all.
#dff#dead friend forever#spoilers#dff spoilers#jane watches stuff#oh i can't wait to read everyone's reviews#i was super apprehensive about it last week#but now i'm actually super satisfied with it#not because i had any kind of catharsis#and i still feel sorry for everyone#but the whole thing ended on such an abstract note#that in a way it doesn't touch me emotionally at all#but not in a bad way#if i randomly break into tears tonight then i know what's up
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#18.1 Rak
Rak let out a huff and sat down next to Agni. Agni peeked over at Rak, who was looking far ahead, as if his past were replaying right before him.
TW: Self harm and suicide…in a way? (Sorry if it gets too dark. I put the TLDR on the tags)
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"I met him back when I was young, about a hundred years ago," Rak started.
Agni was taken aback at how long the gap between their time travel was. He wondered how much his Rak had changed.
"It was getting cold, which meant it was hunting season. I got bored and picked a fight with the toughest and biggest prey I could find."
Agni hummed when Rak paused for a moment too long, "Let me guess. You underestimated it and you lost?"
"The river was slippery!" Rak crossed his arms defensively. "And I didn't lose!"
"Sure," Agni rolled his eyes, one corner of his lips upturned. "How come?"
"I didn't lose, but I didn’t win either." Rak looked away, probably in embarrassment. "Another spear pierced its head before mine. That's when I met him."
From the way Rak's expression turned fiery, Agni had a suspicion that that exact moment had affected Rak more than what he spilled out. It didn't surprise him however, since he knew Rak’s ego.
"He was around for a while, acting like he cared about me." Rak huffed again, more fondly this time, eyes closed and arms still crossed. "He taught me a few fancy tricks with rocks and how to hunt better. He talked a lot about turtle this and turtle that. There were so many, I don't remember. But Black and Blue turtles were the ones he talked about the most, saying something like 'no one else will be more worthy prey than them.'"
Agni felt his chest tighten. To think that their Rak had acknowledged them and even bragged about it…it filled him with a sense of pride and longing.
"I didn't believe him then, since turtles are boring and no way they could do what he said they could." Rak paused and untangled his arms, eyes focusing and turning predatory, "But when he said that these turtles were unlike what we had there, I have been wanting to meet those turtles he told me about and hunt them."
Rak's story was intriguing. But even if it flattered him, Agni was more curious about his Rak's whereabouts. "What happened to him then? Wasn't he…badly injured?"
Rak frowned and went silent. But when he found his voice, it lacked its previous vigor. "He was. It looked fresh and so impossible to walk with, but he did. I asked if it was painful, but he said he didn’t feel a thing."
Third-degree burn. Agni thought to himself. But there was no way it spread evenly. Some areas must've been painful.
"He definitely lied," Rak voiced Agni's thought. "He was just acting to look tough."
The edge of Agni's lips twitched in an attempt to suppress his smile. That's him alright. And of course Rak could figure his own self easily.
"One day he challenged me in an all out duel," Rak's gaze turned dark. "His wounds had weakened him over the months, and it was obvious who would be the winner."
Agni frowned at the implication.
Wordlessly, Rak called out his arms inventory which held a familiar looking spear that shouldn't have been in his possession at this point in time. Agni would recognize that design anywhere, "...Mad shocker."
"He said he wanted to test me, and he gave me this." Rak glared at the spear as if it was responsible for his misfortune. "And later told me that I should be proud, for only a true hunter was allowed to defeat him."
Agni felt his throat going dry, and gulped. "He died, didn't he?"
Rak's eyes sharpened. Whether it was in regret or anger, Agni couldn't tell. "I killed him."
Agni didn't know what to feel about that. On one hand, he could empathize with how much pain Rak must've felt from the injury, especially with the lack of proper treatment that could cure or even just lessen the pain. But on the other hand, it meant that his Rak was truly gone, in such a way, and he still couldn't wrap his head around it.
Rak put his pipe back to invisible mode, like looking at it had brought him so much grief. "I've never used that spear since."
The silence stretched, with only the loud noises coming from the training ground to fill it. Agni wasn't sure how to reply to that without being overly friendly nor physical, and he definitely wouldn't do that to Rak, who only met him today.
Sitting beside Rak like this reminded him of their chat before the workshop battle, on the balcony. It was when Rak truly let him see his buried feelings, his desire to climb the tower together with him and Grace. And with that, the grief finally started to dawn on him. The scar on his face felt itchy and his hand was already clawing at his mask before he registered the motion. He sighed and put his hand back on his knee, pushing the tangled feeling to the back of his mind to be dealt with later. And since the silence had stretched out for too long, he asked; "What was he to you?"
"A rival," Rak looked thoughtful before adding, "and family."
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#TLDR: current Rak was good friends with Agni's Rak#They met about a century before current Rak entered the tower#Future Rak is dead#--end of TLDR--#I do love Rak. but this is the price he must pay for being one of my favorites#ok but did you know that spear inventory is called pipe? i was surprised too#to everyone who was excited last week for future rak comeback...I'm not sorry#it was very entertaining to see your comments (and imagining the despair) hahaha. I thank you for that#anyway. life been very hectic right now. i consider taking a break after valentine update to stock up some chapters#i barely have time to write now. let alone drawing#I'd rather keep my weekly updates than posting once a month. Lest you forget the story and had to reread previous chapter(s) eachtime#tower of god#tog#two sides of the same coin fic#my fic#my art#khun#koon#khun a.a#khun aguero agnis#rak wraithraiser#rak
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What's a great way to end your blog in a good note before you AFK out of the internet for 2 weeks?
NEW AU IDEA. YES. This is one is inspired by an omori au fic that was never updated and I got desperate for more content so I decided to do it MYSELF. But since my writing skills went poof, I figure might as well use my other skill to show it.
So BASICALLY, Sunny and his past self switched timeline places, and now we watch as the rest of the gang cope with this new information. *more info on Past!Sunny soon
I'm calling this au "back to the future au" or "bttf au" for tag convenience. (Please note that I've never watched back to the future and I know nothing about it but I just thought the name sound cool.)
#also im SO SORRY for the shit chicken scratches#i only had about 30 minutes of break to do this before i had to study again akdbdudhkxj#anyways#ill be back in 2 weeks w MORE stuffs on this#this brainrot is never going away#bye bye FOR REAL FOR REAL THIS TIME#I SWEAR#IM GONNA BE GONE FOR 2 WEEKS#so#i guess It'll just be wrong if i dont feed you with one last angsty crumb before im gone#cyaaa#omori fandom#omori#omori fanart#omori sunny#omori aubrey#omori au#bttf au
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hi I am still not normal about how we never get much of an epilogue for Emily and Corvo in the second game we are told how the rule turned out and that Emily is the beloved empress now but nothing beyond that and I get that the entire game is very much built on that I get that the first game we have close relationship with Emily and become fond of the staff that work with the Loyalists so we feel alone because we do not quite see eye to eye with our allies and all we have left is this little innocent child that sees Corvo as someone who can do no wrong in this world which is strongly contrasted with the second game where Emily (or Corvo) has few trusted allies that they can actually rely on and it feels like a group of almost-friends working to dismantle the conspiracy but at the very end of it all Emily is all alone, even her return to the Tower is so much more grim, her taking down Delilah, the entirety of Dunwall- it all feels so incredibly and thoroughly isolating, she is all Alone now, and maybe that's why it bothers me so much to see the story end so abrupty.
it would've been so, so poetic if both the first and the second game ended with Corvo and Emily embracing
#li.txt#dh#sorry Im not okay about this I just#ahhh idk I cant quite explain it#but playing as Emily feels so much more lonely than corvo in the first game#she talks about saving corvo so much and we dont even get a hug#one thing that keeps coming to mind is silent hill 3 where heather goes through So So Much after her father is murdered#and when the final boss is beat she drops to her knees and breaks down#and I think Emily deserves a similar epilogue#the final release of all the stress and fear and anger#her freeing corvo and suddenly it clicks delilah is gone and her witches are gone and all the sigils drawn over the tower begin to fade#and it all hits her at once and she finally gets to cry it all out#because shes okay and meagan is okay and sokolov is okay and her father is okay and karnaca is okay#except they are not. because they all nearly died so many times and her father was trapped in stone and she had to see so much#she had to fight and survive all while unsure if it will lead to anything#all while she was worried for the people she loves because if she fails it means the few people she still has left will be gone too#she had to watch her mother die a second time and then hear the voice of her vengeful aunt for weeks taunting and mocking#(and she was her only family at the time and they could have been a family too. but that is too much to consider now)#i dunno. i just think she deserved a bit more there. just that one last hug from corvo before the game ends
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#tw trauma#venting#i know it's been over two years now and i should probably stop thinking/talking about this#but i can't get over how my ex behaved towards me despite knowing my past and trauma#how he kept pushing my boundaries and making me feel bad for even setting them despite very well KNOWING my reasons#like this dude KNEW about my past and STILL behaved this way#how he wanted me to “get help for my issues” but only as a disguise to get what HE wants#telling me that if i didn't get a therapist within the next year he'd break up#i forced myself to do things i never wanted and now deeply regret#i set a boundary and could watch it being ignored weeks later#when i broke up with him he wished terrible things for me and told me to fuck myself#and even after that he kept on trykng to contact me on every possiblr social media months after#last time he contacted me was in july this year.....we broke up OVER 2 YEARS AGO#i'm glad i left but i have so much unresolved shit that i just cannot let it go#like that shit sits deep#this is so much oversharing i'm so sorry#will probably regret posting this and delete but i had to get it out#can't keep annoying my friends with this#again sorry
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#sorry i haven’t/will not be as active or not fully myself#school started and even though it’s only been a week it’s taking a terrible toll on me#i’m having to relearn that maybe i shouldn’t try to do an entire class’s work in a week & then break down when i can’t do the advanced—#assignments for a coding language i quite literally did the equivalent of hello world in two days prior#one of my classes has a garbage website and the prof wants to be helpful & i appreciate it but i had her last semester & her hopping on—#a zoom and yelling/ordering me around/stressing me out isn’t going to fix the errors the site itself has#also i don’t want to draw attention to myself lest anyone find out i don’t really know shit about coding and have been cheating—#the whole time#but yeah. im too stressed to sleep for no reason even though i have work#and i feel guilty for relaxing whenever i know i have schoolwork even if im entirely exhausted#What’s wrong with me#anyways#rose.txt#tw vent
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hehe —
nice.
#✯ — [ ʰᵒʳˢᵉˢ ᶤᶰ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵃᶜᵏ ] ⨯ ooc#not nice actually#get your fuckin shit together reiikon oh my fuckin GOD —#sorry for my absence i am burned out.#not from this.#but work.#i've had to save the last of my pto for my upcoming trip next week. so it's been a minute since i've had an actual break from it all.#heading up to indi for my grandparent's memorial thing#i'll be gone for about a week.#BUT I'LL HAVE INTERNET. and a lot of down time i think. so i'm hoping to be around some.#so look forward to that i guess.#i have tomorrow off#and then i work one day#and then i'm heading out.#just so y'all know — but otherwise i should be around for a little bit tonight#and a lotta bit tomorrow.#tbd
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no one asked bUT imma go off (affectionate) anyways. ahem:
edse (practicum): portfolio is completed, did portfolio presentation this morning, blog is updated, have all the rubrics... DONE
347: major identity essay? done. final “essay”? done. just gotta go to class tomorrow so we can meet for the final exam time slot and we are going to. talk about books. no more assignments, yay!
395: edtpa? DONE. reflection? DONE. self-evaluation for edtpa? DONE. now, all i have to do is edit edtpa and then submit it for like Official grading and not class grading
405: presentation? made and presented. revision portfolio and reflection? DONE (finished it like fifteen minutes ago lol)
444: giant research paper? DONE. reflection? done. presentation? DONE. just gotta go to the final exam period thursday to watch the rest of the presentations, but no more work for meeeeeeee
and then finally... 305... the only final i actually have left...
#y'all i worked SO HARD#i am so so so ready for a break even tho it's p short#i stayed at college for thanksgiving break so i could do homework and i got SO MUCH DONE and i spent the last two weeks like hardcore#working on finals and homework and i did SO MUCH and i'm so relieved and so proud of myself holy trash that was so much#and my 405 prof is suggesting that i submit the fiction piece i wrote somewhere iugfcgvhujijuhygfc idk where but i'm kind of 👀#like i'm a wuss and submitting scares me a bit ngl but like. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH he thinks that i just need to make slight like wording#revisions and then it's ready to go out iuyfgdxghuijohugfcghijo imma miss that class haha#anyways just like. in a Wow state of mind right now#like... it's all finally ending and then i student teach next semester and i freaking finally am about to have a break and like... i did it?#now all i have to do is do well on my 347 papers which aren't graded yet (i: am scared/nervous haha have an a but still ahhhhhhh)#and then write my 305 and get that back... and then edit and submit edtpa and then the worst of it: WAIT AND HOPE THAT I PASS EDTPA UGH#pls pray for me to pass <3#or send good thoughts <3#anyways sorry for rambling i just wanted to be proud of myself okijuhygfdxfgyhujioiuhygf
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Rant post cause I literally cannot believe this person exists
When you and your roomie rlly are not vibing, like they are more than a little rude, saying things like ‘oh you haven’t showered in two days, you should shower soon’ or ‘I didn’t see you brush your teeth’ or ‘don’t your parents have jobs’ and asking things like ‘can you not eat smelly and spicy food in the room?’(proceeds to make and eat pasta with Heavy marinara sauce in the room while also saying ‘see this isn’t smelly like your food’) and ‘can you not have alarms in the morning’ and ‘can I use half of your closet?’ and ‘how much longer are you going to have your oat milk in the fridge?’(The rest of fridge is their stuff, like there is no other room, I literally only have the oatmilk, and they complain if I keep any takeout in the fridge) AND LOOKING AT MY CLASS SCHEDULE AND ASKING IF ILL HAVE ENOUGH CREDITS TO GRADUATE
But then you find out, everyone hates this person. Like I do not think this person has friends. This is not an exaggeration. I was in the shower, and came back into the room in a towel, to find they had someone in the room, who got locked out(which whole thing on respecting privacy right there but whatever) I assume this is a friend of my roommate, which is confirmed by roommate talking about them as if they are friends later on. Well turns out, this person is not friends with my roommate and actually hates them. To clarify, there is no language barrier miscommunications or even discrimination going on, they are 100% causing their own problems.
Like it’s to the point where all Greek life on campus, which like 50% of the students are involved with(it’s big on campus is the point), has this person black listed. Specifically, for being annoying and rude. Like specifically emailed/texted to NOT come to events. AND THIS PERSON IS STILL TRYING TO JOIN THE GREEK LIFE.
I’ve been here 2(two) weeks.
#sorry. I don’t normally rant like this but I feel like I’m going crazy#I love my dorm and the position I’m in on campus but this roommate is killing me#I didn’t know this person last year. and I’ve only known them TWO WEEKS#I have had to tell this person not to parent me#AND EVERYTIME I SET HARD RULES THEY IMMEDIATELY BREAK THEM saying shit like ‘it’s ok when I do it#cause it’s not as bad as when you do it’ LIKE WTF R U TALKING ABOUT
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you’ve been gone for two weeks, did something happen? :(
not meaning to intrude btw
DW YOU'RE ALL GOOD !!
I was actually thinking of making a post about this because I also realized it's been a while; basically school has been kicking my ass Hard lately, so I haven't really had time to indulge in my tg hyperfixation (I even had to put another pause on reading the manga, even now I'm only typing this after finishing an essay draft orz)
Not to mention I've been getting slightly sidetracked with another hyperfixation, though with all the work I've been swamped with I haven't really had much time for content making either way, and I apologize greatly for that !! There are Ideas I've been wanting to get to all this time, I just need to take some time to really crackdown on my schoolwork, but once I get through it I'll be back on my bullshit /threat don't worry LOL
#asks#again really sorry about that !!#i felt kinda bad since my last post was literally someone marvelling about an amoneki fan in 2024 and then i just dipped :skull:#don't worry my tg hyperfixation isn't gone or anything like that btw I am still Insane i am just fighting Two Different Insanities now </3#i've just been having my hands so full lately :')#(this week especially god i have like 2 projects and 2 tests this week it Sucks)#but don't worry !! i'm doing alright at least#hopefully that wasn't a super wordy explanationfshdjfbhfdlsbh#also sidenote but it's very touching that someone decided to check-in so thank you for that!!#it's really funny actually where i left off on the manga last it seemed like some Big Amoneki Shit was about to go down#so when i come back fully i promise i'll be back Screaming (and i'll probably have a 3 paragraph minimum post to make about it)#i'm just on a break for now !!
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( 〃．．) First time doing a pure text post, but I'm considering drawing twst rarepairs for the whole month of April like a challenge AKSJHAKSJAHS
I was supposed to do it during February, but I forgot to do it until around 2nd week and I really didn't properly plan this out, so I'm posting this today so I wouldn't forget again and to motivate myself LMAO
If anyone reading this does know some interesting twst rarepair, do feel free to share, so I can consider and perhaps add them to the list heheheh, but either way, I'm going to read some more vignette or do a roulette to see which ones gonna stick in my mind as so far it's just:
Azul x Deuce
Malleus x Jade
Malleus x Trey
Vil x Trey
Riddle x Silver (?)
Silver x Ruggie (?)
(◕ ◕) If I can't think of any more ships until the near end of March, I'll just stick with what I have listed
#ramblings#Not adding the supposed tags bcs I'm very shy and I'm mainly posting this just so I can look back and remember I was supposed to do this lo#I think my original thought for this was I'm going to draw a random ship per day for twst#But went 'that's too many ships' the next day LAKSJAKSJHALK#Hopefully the ships I'll be thinking of are rarepair though#I'm relying on how often I saw them in AO3#but the ones with (?) on the end are ones I'm still thinking about how their dynamic could work#I just remember seeing them interact before and thinking 'KAJSHAKLS'#which is not the best reference for their dynamic#And with that#I'll try working on the actual drawing prompts in between breaks#then have it up around last week of march#If this is an actual bad idea though#I'm very sorry and I'll def delete it immediately#Aaaaaand I think that should be all (¯︶¯)#Giving myself many pats for finally remembering and posting this
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anybody wanna nominate themselves to kill me with hammers?
#somehow the week of spring break is my most incredibly busy week with work. KRILLS MYSELF!!#im on our colony care rotation. im doing my grant experiment that takes 3hrs a day. my TA prof wants me to grade a shitton of stuff. my PI#was like can you get an updated draft to me by wednesday? ^_^ gonna have to tell him no fucking way tomorrow#bc we are also having a fucking forensics meeting#i wanted to go on another bug catching trip with a friend on wednesday but idk if ill be able to now :(#and i wanted to have a wine and cheese night. no fucking way im gonna feel up to hosting that this week#i was supposed to have an appointment this last wednesday. lady cancelled last minute and said how about monday (tomorrow)? and i thought#that would be fine. but i just had to text and be like hey sorry dont think i can#im probably forgetting something too. who fucking knows.#i wanted to clean my room bc its looking like the fucking labyrinth trash lady zone in there but fuck me i dont have the energy to#oh edit from one minute later. just got an email from my prof abt an assignment he wants us to do over spring break in my horrid fucking R#coding class. yeah im killing myself 😁👍🏻
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I’m fucking disabled
#I had this conversation with my therapist last week. I’ll give you the secret HIPAA breaking rundown#I HATE calling myself disabled#I don’t know why. there’s no shame in it. it’s just ya know it’s just what I am#but I still can’t get it into my head that yes I’m kinda fucking disabled#because here I am sitting on this creaky futon unable to understand anything anyone is saying to me bc my hearing is so bad#it’s a bad hearing day! it happens! some days are good! today is very much not so good!#so I told my therapist I’m way cool with telling people I have mental health issues#but when it comes to hearing it’s ‘oh no I’m not REALLY disabled. I just uhhhhh can’t uhhh fuckin hear sometimes 🤷🏻♂️ that’s normal right?’#and he’s like no my sweet boy you are disabled you need to own that shit#okay… he didn’t say it like that but this is my flashback please let me have this#let me be a sweetie boy in my own mind#he said it’s usually the reverse: people don’t like to admit mental health issues but will mention physical disabilities#I just… I spent 30 something years with great hearing and then it all just got taken from me out of the blue and no one knows why#and I hate that. I’m so angry. I’m so fucking angry and scared and alone#and I hate admitting that yes I am disabled. like really disabled. it feels like defeat.#and it shouldn’t. like I said it’s just kinda what I am now. It’s like saying I breathe or I’m allergic to birds. it just is me.#sorry I’m just having a rough day#I got about an hour of sleep and now I’m holding down the fort while a home inspector and the new buyer look through the house#and I can’t talk to either of them. I can’t understand them talking to each other. it’s isolating.#I have therapy later and I’m hoping I’ll be able to communicate and hear during it. I really just need someone to talk to#I miss talking to people in person. I can still do that it just can take a bit of work and I hate subjecting people to putting up with me#I feel so needy. I just want some human connection. I want to know I can still make this work.#gosh this is whiny. sorry about that. just needed a quick vent to get me through the next few hours#anyway I love you. probably. maybe… ehhh#you can ignore this#text
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You ever have to be like, "no babe you're not bone-breakingly heart-rendingly sad, you just had less than five hours of sleep"? Yeah.
#lack of light november really doing a number on me this year!#this is not a worry-for-me post btw. it's like that comic of the raccoon advising you to shower to eat or to sleep when upset#it's my last full week of being a student going about doing student activities and i keep doing things going what if that's the LAST time??#which i've been actively trying to avoid doing because when i left my old school i overdid it and i was actively mourning leaving my place#there for the last six months like someone constantly picking at a wound#and while it was the most beautiful time of my life and it might always be i really regret having spent so much#of my final moments there being sorry that it was final because i just grieved it! twice!#i grieved it afterwards and i grieved it beforehand and i kind of wasted my precious time grieving it beforehand#so this time i've been TRYING to practice restraint and not spend my time brooding and just be here instead!#and not say goodbye to every doorway and every leaf and every brick in the pathway until i'm actually saying goodbye#but it suddenly burst into proper fiery colors on all our foliage over the break and i came back and suddenly it was ablaze#with perfect color and i'm walking around this week with my hand on my heart going oh!!! i love you so much#thank you for sending me off like this!!! i loved being here with you!!#so. tis hard not to mourn. but till then there are papers to write and chapters to be read and then girl has to scurry#and write her daily poem before sleep#so it will be alright it will be alright <3 this i believe!#i may delete these tags later because they might be overshare-y or too despondent and not need to be said#but i figure where else can i pour out my heart into a lovingly enfolding void like this <3#happy Tuesday tumblr i love you all dearly!#thank you for all your tags today btw I will come back and reply to them tomorrow when i'm a bit clearer-minded#thinking out loud
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