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#sooo happy I got to read this fic it was really good had me hooked
mu3las · 11 months
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my contribution for this @hxhbigbang23! it's my first ever participating, and I got to do an illustration for @maxiemumdamage 's amazing fic Coal Mine
speedpaint :]
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gojonanami · 19 days
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Didn’t know if I should send a message or send an ask, so I chose what I’m used to (I’M SO SORRY IF I DID IT WRONG WAA)
Normally I don’t read fic series on any platform (I prefer one shots I’m impatient LMAO) but your professor Geto series got me HOOKED - I’ve shared it with all my friends and they’re all now Geto enthusiasts which is a blessing and a curse😭😭 it’s so hard to find good writing between the ‘orbs’ and ‘members’ LMAO so when I found your blog I knew I had to make an account to follow you and keep up with what you post. I’m lowkey gonna be so sad when it’s over but I’m glad it’s somewhat coming to an end! Also, plz don’t ever worry about making a fic too long, just know you’ve always got one person here who really enjoys it!
I’m also so saddened by the hate you’ve been given cause you seem like such a really nice person, you seem like the type to be very genuine and caring without being fake about it :( Finding emotionally mature people online is hard so seeing your stance on drama/hate is SOOO refreshing. I’ve been in the middle of one too many internet dramas and OH BOY. It’s so much to handle!
I think I can speak for a lot of people and say we appreciate you and everything you do! Know that you are loved by many!
-🚡
this is so sweet 😭🥹 you’re absolutely fine — don’t worry about it babe! also I completely feel you on being impatient — I’m the same way about fics so the fact I could get you hooked with prof geto means so much 😭😭 and the fact you got your friends to read it?? I’m gonna go cry in the corner — that means so much
hahah yeah I understand the struggle to find fics that resonate with you so I’m very happy I could be that for you — it means the world 😭🥹
thank you for thinking that about me 🥹😭 the hate has been a little annoying to deal with at times, but it’s outweighed by how lovely all of you are. I’m glad I seem genuine since I very much try to be 🥹 this is truly how I am in real life haha — I don’t have the patience to be fake or deal with drama / hate in any other way.
I love you so much — thank you for this ask, it truly means the world to me!! I can’t express to you — it’s been a day and this ask brightened up my day 🥹💕 I hope you have a day a million times more wonderful than you are (and that’s already a lot) 🥹💕
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sophsicle · 2 years
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Sooo…
I finally gave in and started reading hlayk this morning and omg, it was so good. I’ve never read any fanfic outside the marauder’s era and I’ve got to admit I was a bit dubious of the ship at first but I should’ve known that you’d be able to pull anything off, seeing as I felt the same way about jegulus before reading choices.
The way you’re exploring George’s grief with the loss of Fred along with his relationship with his mother is truly heartbreaking. I was sobbing. I’d never really cared for the Weasley twins beforehand but I’m hooked and can’t wait to see where this fic goes. Also the background drarry is making me want to read more so I was wondering if you had any fic recs??
Hello lovely! Yes! My goal is to just annoy everyone enough until they eventually break down and give this ship a try. I just feel like it has so much potential! And I want to see more in-depth versions of George and Blaise! But I'm so happy you like it! I have some links to my fave drarry fics here and here :)
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wttcsms · 8 months
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Amber, I'm back to yell at you!!!! I'm literally dying over Most Noble what?! Its sooo good, i literally took a deep breath while my eyes watered cause of that ending! Oh to be in love with Sir Nanami 😍 He really is too much, the way he wants the mc so much, it gives off enemy to lovers vibes, with a lot of slow burn! Its so good the way I gasped when i read it on AO3 cause it said chapters 1/1 😭 No, its too good, YOU'RE the reason i even love Nanami so I refuse to believe thats it for them. But also thank you for that, it was such a good read the pining got me right in the feels i had to take a moment for myself to calm down. Please don't say its over 😭
Moving on lols, the way I read Balancing Act this morning! I wanted to scream, and I'm in no way a morning person but that one woke me up! Gojo being so self assured, I love that for him. The way you wrote the whole crew working for Gojo and Getou! Nanami saying that Getou is just like Gojo but would give himself 6 months instead KILLED ME!!!! Also just Nanami, and his whole work is shit rang through my head when you said he left then came back 😭 Just the way you wrote them all is soo good, the interaction between Gojo and Mc oooomph absolute genius! Utahime and Gojo friendship! Personally that little bit got me hook line and sinker cause i dont ship them 🫠 Finally that flashback of them as teenagers in high school!!! Yes queen him falling in love and not realizing it but also i loved that the mc ruined what i assumed would be his year of just fucking around! Its god tier I know im going to add this to my list of comfort fics!!!
hi hi, i was waiting til when i was less busy so that way i could give this lovely msg a proper response!!! as always, i love love love hearing ur thoughts and seeing u in my notifs makes me so happy, like kicking my feet and giggling happy because ur such an amazing reader and i love hearing ur thoughts on my work.
first of all, even w/out me, u would have fallen for nanami bc that's just the type of man he is. most noble was so fun to write purely bc i didn't have a set plot line in place, i just let the word vomit spew all over my docs and clicked post on tumblr. that being saidddddd, i am always open to revisiting our princess and sir nanami bc the fun part in writing mutual pining is the eventual getting together. like all fairytales, they are so gonna have a happy ending <3
im so happy you've read balancing act because for me, it's such a fun project and a way for me to not so subtly vent out any pent up feelings i had towards my experience in working in banking in nyc BAHAHAHA. i think workplace dynamics are so fun to write as well & i really wanted to incorporate just how blurry boundaries are within the field but also how close knit they truly are because most of the time, you see your coworkers more than your family and your significant other and it's hard not to become friends or something more (it's either that, or u all hate each other's guts LOL). geto and gojo would not be besties if they weren't both absolute menaces, i stand by that. utahime + gojo are lowkey MY dramione HAHA, and so i always like to write them in some type of relationship, whether that be platonic or romantic. they def squabble like siblings in this fic + it's going to be so much fun writing them in a diff light than i normally do (what's up for debate is whether or not i hint towards nanami x utahime :O) nanami found out that working in academia is JUST AS TOXIC as industry, so he's back bc, hey, at least he gets paid hella money, but we'll explore more nanami lore in balancing act once i decide on his exact role in the fic muahahaha.
thank you for always reaching out with your thoughts on my writing and just to chat in general, it means the world to me <3
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causticsunshine · 1 month
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Heyy whatcha been getting into lately? Alternatively, what have you been enjoying being a hater of lately?
okay first hello i love how this question is phrased hajdks very on brand for me and two uhhh oh boy a lot of stuff tbh!
so to preface. over the years i’ve had many phases where i get out of some irl person based media (usually 1d or some random tv show) and back into animated series, then the inverse happens, the cycle repeats, etc.? so i’m currently back into animated stuff as well as fully leaning into kpop everywhere instead of what i was doing before, where i was trying to limit my posting in general or limiting it to twitter under the guise of trying to seem slightly Normal™️ but now i’m fully leaning into whatever makes me happy and inspired and if that makes me annoying so be it
anyway—in terms of animated shows i’ve been watching one piece for almost a year now as for some reason i couldn’t get into it when i was younger and then was deterred by the series length, but i’m really enjoying it! i’m about to start the long ring long island arc if that means anything to anyone lol. i’ve also been watching and loooving dungeon meshi, and i’m currently reading it as well! i tried reading it a few years ago and stopped a few chapters in (idr why) but now i’m hooked and am struggling to pace myself…. i might try and do some fanart soon 👀
with kpop mmmm i’ve actually been a casual fan since like 2010 (listened to some 2008-2009 but it was mostly early shinee and random kpop compilations on youtube lmao) but have gotten in and out of it several times? now though i’ve been pretty Involved consistently since 2019/2020, although the groups i follow the closest are ateez, oneus and nct (127)!
i saw oneus in seattle last month after missing them twice and had such a good time (i still haven’t finished sorting my pictures though and haven’t posted like. any oops) and i am tryyyying (like. praying on my hands and knees lighting candles talking to the moon levels level trying) to get my hands on VIP1 tickets for ateez in tacoma and tickets go live next week so wish me luck as i will definitely need it with how pricey it’s likely to be… but also i will proudly commit heinous deplorable acts for ateez barricade sooo either way i’m determined to get my way? aka: i want and need my own y/n moment ahfksksn
also to clarify i’m not a shipper or whatever when it comes to kpop! i may enjoy the odd fic or will cringe read things with my friends but it’s nothing like HL for me; it’s a very different dynamic overall and i don’t get those kinda vibes in a serious way from any groups i follow? although with ateez… i can kinda see why they attract some of those kinds of fans i’m ngl
and on the side, i’ve actually been working on original content again! the one group of ocs i tend to pick up and put down has been temporarily sidelined for a pair i dumped a few years back but am currently reworking and actually have a story for now! idk if i’ll do anything proper with said story as comics are exhausting so rn i’m mostly word-vomming into docs and trying to nail down my character designs. when i’ve got things worth sharing though i do plan to share here as well, if anyone would be interested 👉👈
alternately when it comes to my haterism… i still greatly dislike and am exhausted with miss swiftie for numerous reasons and my god my art twitter is swathed in h*zbin h*tel content?? like actually plagued?? otherwise though there are just things i wish i saw less because i’m simply just not interested right now (aka 1d stuff) or in general and don’t want to start disliking those things because i’m seeing them too much
ok def rambled more than i meant to oopsie doopsie but yeah uhh that’s kinda it! anon i hope you are well and enjoying yourself in whatever you are doing rn 💕 and feel free to share if you feel so inclined to!
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shunshuntaiga · 1 year
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Awww </3 stupid blue hellsite, eating my messages. whatever, it's not like you missed much, it was the usual suburra insanity lol. I really did, it's one of the best written english suburra fics. Tysm for sharing it. And I think it's normal to be a little unsure when finally posting any art because you, as the person making it, can always see it for what it can be, all the little improvements. But the readers see it for what it is, which in the case of your fic is: a goddamn beautiful story. <33 Ooo, you're absolutely right. The Adami family definitely takes pride in their legacy of always producing strong, commanding Alphas, or at the least Betas. And we can also tie Aurelia being an omega to his mom's death... Like, his dad makes him think that if he were born an alpha there wouldn't have been complications at his birth, so his mom would still be alive. And I know Livia loves him, but you cannot tell me that low-key she doesn't see him as her inferior because he is an omega. Classic, cheesy, who care? If it ain't broke, don't fix it. I got an idea... Ok, so Aurelia has been abusing inhibitors his whole life, so maybe he's never had a heat. So when he's alone with Spadi (maybe the ep with the mud baths) his supressants stop working for some reason (cough*fallinginlove*cough) and he gets his first one. And normally omegas can power through, but since he's supressed them for so long, it hits him as if he's having all the heats he missed. It's angsty af because it hurts him mentally and physically. Spadi doesn't know at first what's going on, but when he figures it out, he's afraid Aurelia might die. So yada yada, some denial later, they hook up. And of course Aureliano gets knocked up because the universe loves to fuck with them. And he doesn't tell Spadi because he's emotionally constipated and also so deep in the closet he has the right to vote in fucking Narnia. Which makes everything that happens in ep 9 sooo much worse. :') OH GOD, YOU'RE BIRLLIANT!! OF COURSE THEIR DAUGHTER WOULD BE RUBINA, OF COURSE!! also, in true wlw/mlm solidarity, Spadi and Angelica are each other's beards for Aureliano and Nadia. *Me, someone who refuses the last episode of the show because I don't have the emotional stability*: Ok, but what if we take the finale... and make it a THOUSAND TIMES WORSE?? 👀 At one point he wishes he would go numb, but Aure dying in his arms always hurts, no matter how many times it has happened before. And of course Spadi would blame himself, because he always sees any bad thing that happens as his fault (i hate his family so so much). And obviously the way out of the time loop is him finally accepting that the faith of the world is not on his shoulders and he deserves to be happy. But Aureliano needs to convince him of it once he starts also remembering the loop, which... easier said than done. Ooooh, now WHY would you do this to me??? Yes, sure.... let's add the angst of Aure dying in tears because he knows how much pain he is causing Spadi with each iteration, why not?? "But Spadì is almost praying that it’s not, because he can’t imagine any timeline where Aurelia isn’t by his side"-- *reads this*... *immediately starts building time machine so I can go back to kindegarten and stop my teacher from teaching me how to read* This is horrible... thank you <333 Awww, thank you!! High praise, coming from a genius such as yourself. 😌 OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!! YOU'RE STARTED WRITING IT, OH MY GOD!!! ILYSM 😳  duuude, lmfaooo.... istg i have a gift/curse because... for real, all my internet friends have at least once started writing insane/feral fics because of some idea I implanted into their heads :))) Good luck with the story!! I can't wait to see what you come up with. <33
Asksbfkdk I definitely would not say it's one of best English language fics for suburra, I mean, have you READ some of them??? Suburra fic writers go hard lol
Oh the mud baths being where it all starts is so good....... OR.... Hear me out, after Lele's death. When Aurelia has that heart to heart with Spadino about how he doesn't want to loose him. All those feelings he's repressed come bubbling up to the surface and his heat kicks in? Absolute disaster. Truth be told its just because I love Aurelia with the wing tattoos and beard the best, and that'd how I like to imagine him when I'm reading/writing.
*he's so deep in the closet he has voting rights in Naria* lmao yes he does. The poor sweet boy.
Oh OH but imagine if it did start at the mud baths, and then the 'hook up' could happen when Spadì kisses him for the first time (backseat, parking lot hook-up that leads to pregnancy?? It's so perfect in a slightly nasty way)
Season three finale? We don't know her lol we also can't forget the obvious time loop where Spadino sacrifices himself at the junkyard instead of Aurè. And IMAGINE if thats the loop where Aurelia starts to remember things...!!!
Also a scene where our poor Spadì gets drunk because he can't take it anymore, and spills everything to Aurelia
"No matter what I do it always ends the same way, where I'm on that fucking boat and you're dead in my arms!"
It's definitely quite the endeavor to write that's for sure, but the idea is just SO GOOD and there's so much room for perfect angst and hurt/comfort
I probably have to go rewatch the last couple of episodes to get the timeline right so I know where to diverge the plot.
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kiribakuhappiness · 3 years
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Do you have any long kiribaku fic requests? Like, 100k, 200k, 300k etc
Something I can sit with for a bit? I’ve been burning through so many that are under 50k and I love that but I have a weekend free to do nothing for the first time in forever and want to settle in
I'm actually glad that someone has asked for this rec because I've been feeling really bad lately that my account has been so inactive while I recover.
So, to try and make up for it, I've put together this rec list of some longer kiribaku fics (maybe not 300k but still pretty long) that have had such a profound impact on me since I've joined the fandom, some of which have really helped with and improved my writing!
I hope you find something of interest among these choices, Anon, as I've enjoyed them all so much! <3
1. In the Roaring Autumn by thegrimzuera. (94k) I'm in the process of re-reading this fic at the moment! A College AU with Katsuki as the main POV (which I love) and his characterization is so well done. I actually picked up and adapted a lot of my current Katsuki writing from this fic when I was first figuring out how to write his character! Highly recommend, Kirishima is a lovely jock who ends up teaching a scorned Katsuki about friendship and how being manly means taking responsibility for your actions. A slow burn that is very well done, all around just a really fun read and so I am reading it again (and again and again and again and...)
2. Tomorrow, Today by timetoboldlygo. (87k) It's been a while since I've read this fic but I've been meaning to come back to it for some time now (HAH, that's like a pun without the set up because -) It's a Time-Travel AU! Love love love that. Future Husbands Bakugou and Kirishima get sent back into their old junior high bodies (to before they met at Yuuei, if I'm remembering correctly). Lots of feelings and working through marital conflicts. I think the story did a good job of taking the usual time-travel trope and giving it an interesting spin from a new perspective that I hadn't seen before!
It's where my love for analyzing Bakugou's younger behaviors came from and probably what eventually spawned the creation of my OC fic later! 😁
3. Broken Bridges by DeathBelle. (68k) Have you ever, uh... have you ever, um, pining?? Yeah. That's this fic. Future Pro-Hero's Red Riot and Ground Zero haven't spoken since their graduation from Yuuei High, and it's a wild ride once they bump into each other again at an active villain site (so bad at trying not to spoil things, ahaha). Another really fun read, a bit on the shorter side compared to the others on this list but it's longer than A Secret Admirer (which might be my longest fic on this account) so I thought it was worth mentioning!
4. Opposed to the Typical by heronfem. (178k) I've talked about this one before (quite recently maybe) and while I was only ever able to read through this once so far, it has stayed in my head for so much longer afterwards, and I think that's a true testament of a great story! Super immersive, really pulls you in for the long haul. If you enjoy lots of world building and fun imagery, fashion labels and plenty of artsy drama, I highly recommend this fic. You can tell a lot of time and attention to detail went into this one, and for that it has gained a ton of my respect!
5. Crown of Thornes | Book 1 by WonderBoyz. (111k) I'm still in the process of reading this one so I don't know all of what happens but as far as Fantasy AUs go, this has really captured my attention. It's gritty, it's got action, lots of conflict and plot twists, I just imagine the fic author must have had so much fun writing this and that gets me really excited to read more! And it's part of a series so there's even more to read after!
6. Moment of Truth by Fanficismything. (104k) This is going to be a really bold claim for me to make, alright? But. This might be my favorite fic on ao3. I have read this fic numerous times because it's a great adaption of one of my favorite tropes and I had so much fun reading it that it literally can't be anything other than my favorite fic. A kiribaku rom-com based on the 2009 movie The Proposal (AKA the greatest fucking movie of all time). I would cradle this fic in a blanket because it just hits all of my comfort feels and makes me so happy. I implore you that if you think you don't need this fic in your life well, then, you are simply wrong. 😂
7. An Abundance of Penguin Shit by Vixensheart. (214k) An Animal Handler AU Y'ALL THIS IS THE SHIT I LIVE FOR! I really enjoyed this fic for so many different reasons, and this is another piece of work that heavily influenced my own portrayal of Katsuki in my writing; I thought his characterization in this was really interesting and leaned on a lot of certain traits of his that I hadn't really considered much before reading this one. There's also (similar to: Opposed to the Typical) so much great detailing and world building and character analysis, ugh I love it sooo much you don't even know. BAKUGOU PLAYS WITH A MF PENGUIN AHXBHAXBA. It's so damn cute and I honestly can't get enough of it. Always recommending. Always always.
8. Metallic Bonds by Kaustikha. (106k) This is another new fic for me that I've just recently gotten my hands on; a Fullmetal Alchemist AU! I've never really dabbled in Fullmetal Alchemist before (yet) but this AU is written so well that honestly, I almost feel like I don't even need to know much at all to enjoy it. It's already so entertaining on its own, the dynamics are really interesting and I'm just all-in-all super hooked on this one right now! I'm really excited to see where it goes!
9. Chitchat and Pencil Pushers by beebuzz. (92k) Of course, I literally could not have made this list without mentioning this fic. A Job Office AU that I find myself coming back to time and time again. Lots of pining and really I don't know what it is about Insert-Regular-Job-Here AU's that I enjoy so much when it comes to kiribaku, but it has my entire soul.
I enjoyed each of these fics for their various own reasons, but mostly I enjoyed all of them and felt the need to add them all into this list because I can tell just how much effort and energy has gone into these works. The characterization is always really well done, the character's conversations feel authentic and engaging, the struggles that they all face vary so drastically (while somehow all being the same exact characters) that it is honestly so fascinating to me to read through these works and know that, inherently, they are all the same story rewritten with a new skin but, outwardly, they're so unique and show so much personality and range between them all.
Isn't that so amazing?? I feel like that's so amazing... maybe I'm just going insane after quarantine, ahaha :,D
Both are viable options, but whichever way that it is, a huge shout-out to these writers and to the others who I have been binging on this hellsite (affectionate) since I got here. Some of these stories bring so many people comfort and entertainment, myself included, and it's nice to be able to share them with you as well!
I hope you find something fun to read! ❤️🧡
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sunshinebuckybarnes · 3 years
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Hi all, I’m fairly new to this side of Tumblr but some of the things I have read this month have been incredible. And honestly, everyone should read them! So, I thought I’d put together a list of everything that I have read this month. And I hope you enjoy!
Please note that the majority of these fics contain smut (sorry not sorry) or other adult themes including non-con/dub/con, so minors please don’t interact! Also, please check the authors warnings before reading any fic. You are responsible for your own content consumption. 
I’m honestly just in awe of the talent of these writers so I hope you enjoy these fics as much as I did! And if anything this just makes it easier to come back to my faves!
Pleasure by @buckycuddlebuddy​ (beefy!bucky x reader) 18+
Seriously, beefy Bucky can get it anytime, anywhere. 
In You I Find Solace by @msmarvelwrites​ (Bucky x reader) 18+
This punched me straight in the gut but it is so beautifully written.
A Great Mentor by @worksby-d​ (Andy Barber x law student!reader) 18+
Dad’s best friend Andy Barber? What more could you want! This whole series and following one shots/blurbs are so good!
Sunrise by @wkemeup​ (Bucky x reader) 18+
This series floored me in every way. The raw emotion, the softness, the angst, everything is written so beautifully. 
In Love And... by @bananapie99​ (Bucky x reader)
Pure fluff. So sweet and wholesome!
A Claiming by @wanderinglunarnights​ (Curtis Everett x reader) 18+
Super hot, protective Curtis. Need I say more?
Crossfire by @cherienymphe​ (Dark!bucky x reader / dark!Steve x reader) 18+
This series has me hooked! It’s dark and there are so many twists and turns I can’t wait to see what comes next. 
The Geneva Convention Bed and Breakfast by @tuiccim​ (Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes x reader x Frank Castle x Billy Russo) 18+
3k of pure filth. It’s a thing of beauty! 
Slow by @labella420​ (Soft Ransom x fem reader) 18+
I’m a sucker for soft Ransom okay? And this is equal parts soft and filth!
You Must Have Been a Boxer by @indyluckycharlie​ (Modern!bucky x reader)
Super soft and lovely. Modern bucky holds so much power!
Teacher’s Pet by @carolmaximoffs​ (college!Ransom Drysdale x virgin!reader) 18+
Such a perfect combination of Ransom being an arsehole and also a huge softie. 
Crossfire by @sinner-as-saint​ (Mob!bucky x reader) 18+
This series had me hook, line and sinker! Honestly a masterpiece.
Almost Had Me Believing It by @tuiccim​ (Bucky Barnes x reader) 18+
I’m OBSESSED with this series. The slow burn is *chefs kiss* and the drama just keeps heating up. I really cannot wait to see where this goes!
Hey Stranger by @bucky-the-thigh-slayer​ (Steve Rogers x female reader) 18+
The things I would do to have just ONE night with Steve Rogers. This is sooo hot and so well written!
Why there? by @buckys-other-punk​ (Bucky Barnes x reader) 18+
Bucky is so cheeky and playful in this, I love it!
Dance With Me by @drabblewithfrannybarnes​ (Bucky Barnes x reader) 18+
Goddamn the first chapter of this broke my poor little heart. The series so far has been incredible and I’m v excited to see what happens next!
River by @msmarvelwrites​ (Bucky Barnes x reader) 18+
The softness of this fic, my god! It’s so pure and lovely.
Time to Run by @syntheticavenger​ (MobBoss!Steve Rogers x reader) 18+
I really love the dynamics that are set out in the first part and part two has enough to leave you wanting to know more! I’m really excited to see where this goes.
Love, Honor, and Obey by @constantwriter85​ (Mob!Bucky Barnes x Fem!reader) 18+
Oh this series has me HOOKED. It’s got everything, fluff, smut, ANGST but we’re promised a happy ending so I’m holding onto that so tight right now!
Whatever Our Souls Are Made Of by @msmarvelwrites​ (Bucky x Empath!Reader) 18+
So beautifully written and the whole empath concept is super interesting!
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khrystalsnow · 3 years
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ALL TIME FAVOURITE FICS
I wanted to make a list of my favourite fics (not sure if I’m missing any). There’s probably more that I would put here but they’re buried under my likes however, I may add more in the future. I hope you enjoy!
*PLEASE let me know if I did a mistake or put the wrong link!
LEGEND:
🥺Fluff
🤬Angst
😏Smut
😂Crack
FICS
Passion Fruit by @joonbird 🤬😏knj
-The very first fic that introduced me to tumblr fics (bts) which is just heaven sent. I remember reading this in awe because of the writing and the characters. Daddy namjoon showed oc a whole new world when he ate her out and I’m kind of jealous😔 I really love the plot and the character development for the oc and this was overall a good read!
Comfort Inn Ending by @joonbird  🤬😏jjk
-Another one of Amy’s work (top tier), that broke my heart into a million pieces. Honestly, I’ve read this series once, because of how good it is. Its sad, like I broke down a couple of times because of the two characters, kind of sad. That just shows you how amazing it is, that I can’t even reread it.
Hot Summer by @httphopewrld 🥺😏🤬 jjk
-I don’t know why but after I discovered this fic, I couldn’t stop thinking about this and the plot. Curtains are not really something we think about most at of the time but JK! Why couldn’t you just buy some curtains?! I mean I don’t blame the reader for peaking though. I’m really happy with the ending and how they talked it out like mature adults in the end.
Greedy by @xjoonchildx 🤬😏 myg
-A part of the Guarded Series which is just amazing! I picked Greedy because it’s currently ongoing and I really like yoongi’s perspective more than the other series. Yoongi’s a loner and people in his line of work, knows that. When he met oc, its like he finally found something that he can treasure on his own and completely different from the people around him. I just want them to be happy😭 I can’t wait for more chapters to come!
Hammer it Home by @gukslut 🥺😏🤬 knj
-I recently read this and fell in love with it really quickly! I’m pretty sure that everyone knows this fic and loves it just like me. I can’t really say anything more, except daddy joon is absolutely filthy, so read it.
Flower by @readyplayerhobi 🥺😏🤬 jhs
-God, this is such a good series. It deals with a lot of topics such as panic attack, body insecurity, anxiety, having children etc. (please look at the trigger warnings). We get to see the oc begin to date hoseok and see their relationship grow beautifully. Both of the characters are so different individually, but together, they look so beautiful:((
Boyfriend Material by @ladyartemesia 🥺😏😂 jjk
-The amount of times I’ve reread this is unreal. I want someone like jungkook in real lifee😭😭 I really love how its in bullet points to get the points across and easy to read. It also just seems so much more personal because it feels like we’re with them throughout the process of their relationship.
Of Fire and Love by @hollyhomburg 🥺😏🤬 myg
-When I first read part 1, I already fell in love with it. Dragon yoongi, namjoon and hoseok, sorcerer jin and jungkook, fairy jimin and human baby tae!!! I’ve reread this series multiple times and it just never gets old😌I love how everything connects and the smut is spicy✨
A Song Request by @n8dlesoupguk 🥺🤬 jjk
-THIS! IS! SO! CUTTTTTEE!!!! *PUNCHING THE AIR* ahhhhh the amount of time I smiled while reading this is unreal!! I love jungkook and I love this fic. I cant say anymore because of how cute it is! READ ITTTTTT!
Only For Love by @lysjeon  🥺🤬 jjk
-This has a special place in my heart because it was my first social media au. I LOVE the characters especially sarang 🥺its so well done and reread it all the time. Chae’s aus are really good 10/10 would recommend her whole entire masterlist
I Found  by @hxseok-honee 🥺🤬😂 myg
-Ahh!! binged this at 1am and I don’t regret it! It’s a hogwarts au featuring slytherin, brooding, meany, yoongi and hufflepuff reader that is friends with the whole squad. It really has everything that I love about hogwarts aus. The progression of their relationship was a whole roller coaster and at the end I was really happy for yoongi to be able to find his forever girl and be friends with crackheads. 
The Dinner Party by @lamourche 🥺🤬😏 myg
-Beautiful writing and the story is immaculate *chef’s kiss* I think about this fic once a month and reread it multiple times. I love it and hate it at the same time because I just want them together and figure their shit together, especially in the recent chapter. The circumstances and emotions are relatable that I just wanna hug both of the characters 😔
Rattled by @gukslut  🤬😏 jjk
-I’ve already recommended this before, meaning, this is really good. It follows jungkook as a single father with reader as his neighbor. Its angsty as fuck and will probably make you cry for jungkook because how much struggle he goes through with raising lovely areum by himself (respect for single parents!), but they figure it out in the end!
Seven Seas by @readyplayerhobi​ 🥺🤬😏 kth
-When I read Atlantis!Taehyung, I was sold. This fic pops up in my head once in a while and I love it every single time I read it again. OC is a smart bitch, and works hard to achieve whatever she desires. I love her relationship with taehyung sooo much, I could picture them together being oc’s parents: lovey dovey even when they’re old and supports one another😌
Intro: Her by @jamaisjoons  🥺🤬😏 knj
-God the amount of serotonin this gives me every time I read it is *chef’s kiss* maknae as namjoon’s kids is also a bonus! I really love family aus and this completely filled me with happiness. 
Chasing Butterflies by @ddaenggtan​ 😏🥺😂 jjk
-Pretty sure everyone already knows and loves this fic but I just had to put this here. It’s literally perfect! Oc pining for weeb jungkook is everyone because he’s cute as hell😔 the SECONDHAND EMBASSAMENT I felt when she confessed is too much😂😭 Please read it if you haven’t because IT’S SO GOOD
A Home Found In You by @lovmail​  🥺(wholesome) jjk
-Another single dad jungkook because I love it😔 This fic introduced me to rochelle’s account and binged all of her other fics (which are also great). This also pops up in my head at random times and I always give in to the urge of rereading it because its so good!
For Love and Money by @jimlingss​ 🥺🤬😏 ksj
-This shit was a whole roller coaster alright but I loved it! it’s a forced arranged marriage and when reading the first chapter, you will want to read more. I love both of the characters soo much and the progression is immaculate, so glad they got their shit together in the end😌
Brass and Strings @jimlingss​  🥺🤬😂 knj
-This was also another roller coaster of feelings and angst. It’s a little long but the pacing is really good. I LOVE the main characters so much!!! oc’s a badass, despite what she’s been through and I strive to be like her ngl😔 This made me cry on multiple occasions, just read this you won’t regret it.
Inside My Mind by @jimlingss​ 🥺😏 knj
-The amount of times I think about this on a monthly BASIS. It’s half fluff and smut which is the perfect combination for me😌 I love the concept of mind reading, but when people can hear nsfw thoughts though😳 honestly read it if you haven’t, IT’S SO GOOD 
The Deli Diaries by @jimlingss 🥺 pjm
-This shit was the CUTEST shit ever!! both characters are so cute (I’ve said that word so many times😭) and their interactions during work is so cute😭 At this point just read Kina’s whole masterlist
The Alpha by @ladyartemesia​ 🤬😏 pjm
SO GOOD, immaculate, well written, the plot 10/10. This fic is amazing!! I get so excited whenever I see that it’s updated. The world is so fascinating and detailed that you wanna learn more about it. The plot is so thrilling and the action parts got me so hooked! I can’t wait for more part to come!
A Court of Curses  by @readyplayerhobi​ 🥺🤬😏 jhs
UGGHHHH one of my favourite hobi fics ever!!! of course it’s a vampire and witch au. I love the main characters so much OK😭 they just wanna love each other and it physically hurt me when they were also hurting😭😭😭 but the ending is so satisfying, so I’m happy!
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edelwoodsouls · 3 years
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i still pick up at the sound of your call [fic]
"Is that a dalek on tv?" [or: Martha has some choice questions for the Doctor regarding the new Prime Minister's addess]
Inspired by this post
Word Count: 1,799 | Also on Ao3
"Oi, what the fuck is going on?"
The Doctor blinks. Pulls the phone away from her ear, to check the number again, check she isn't hallucinating. She'd hardly believed it when she saw it, hasn't seen those numbers strung together in years, though they're still burned into her mind.
Another life, another time.
Another friend burned to ashes.
She hesitates, for just a moment. Takes a deep breath. "Hey, Martha," she cringes instantly at the hollow lightness of her tone, only drawing attention to the lifetimes between their last words. "What's up?"
A heavy pause on the other end. The Doctor tries to imagine her old companion, for just a moment. She'd promised herself she would check up on her friends from time to time, make sure they were okay, if she could help them from the shadows in any way - but that promise has fallen between the cracks, lost along the way with everything she ever thought was true.
The last time she saw Martha, she saved her life. Moments before her own - his own, back then - had slipped between her fingers.
She'd looked happy. The Doctor could never have predicted Martha and Mickey of all people, but she was glad for them. She had ruined their lives in so many ways by crashing through them, by falling in love with Rose - this was the least they deserved.
So she imagines Martha like that. Curled up on the sofa, cornrowed hair and sparkling eyes. Legs tangled up with Mickey as they watch tv in the burnt orange glow of a dying London afternoon.
Oh, fuck. The tv.
"Uh, hi," Martha answers finally, wrong-footed and uncertain. "I wanted to speak to the Doctor, could you put him on, please? Sorry, I- uh, I'm Martha. Jones. I used to travel with him. I'm guessing you're the new companion? What happened to Donna?"
An unexpected lump rises in the Doctor's throat. Thousands of years - thousands - have passed since she last bothered to check in on Martha Jones. How many companions have been and gone in that time? How many have crumbled to ash beneath her fingers?
She swallows it down, files it under Compartmentalise, and Never Think of Again.
Sunshine. Enthusiasm. Energy. The tenets she's founded herself on this go around. She plasters a bright smile on her face, as if contorting her muscles will trick her tone into believing she means it.
"Just me, I'm afraid," she grins, skipping around the TARDIS to fiddle with the controls to keep her hands busy. "Had a bit of a change of face since you last saw me."
Furious whispers on the other side of the phone, far enough away from the receiver that even she can't hear them. She imagines Martha and Mickey, confusion and surprise warring with each other.
This reveal never gets old.
"Sooo, how've you been? How's Mickey? It's been, what, nearly ten years since you last saw me?"
"Uh, yeah," Martha returns to the phone, hesitant. She's never had to deal with regeneration, really. "I didn't know you could- I mean, when you said you change, I didn't realise that-"
"I can be anything I like! It's great, innit? I could have two heads or green skin if I felt like it. First time I've been a woman, though. Well, first time I remember, I guess. Still haven't been ginger, though. Maybe one day."
"Different face, same amount of energy," Martha laughs, and the sound lifts a weight from the Doctor's chest she didn't even know was there. "Mickey says hi."
"Yeah- hi!" A more distant voice echoes through the phone, startled at being addressed.
"Hi! It's great to hear from you!" She twirls the phone cord around a finger. If there's one thing she always regrets in her lives, it's the way her previous selves treated their companions. Each one with a different idea of relationships, of how things should be done.
This version of her thinks Mickey would be a great companion, if not for her Rose-tinted blinders.
"So, to what do I owe this call? Hope you kids have been keeping out of trouble, though somehow, I doubt it."
"Right!" Martha yelps. The whole regeneration thing definitely threw her for a loop. "Yeah, Doctor, what the fuck is going on? Is that a dalek we just saw on tv?"
"Ah, yeah... it is, yeah."
"And?"
"And I'm sorting it out?" The Doctor glances over her shoulder, towards the corridor the fam disappeared down a few minutes ago to get ready. They'll be back any second.
It's not that the Doctor doesn't want the fam to know about her old companions. They've met Jack, know she hasn't been on her own all this time, but- still.
Her companions don't have the best survival rate. It's selfish, probably, to keep having them, and yet she somehow never goes without them for long.
(She's lonely, she knows it. She's not a good person on her own. She clings to these fragments of knowledge and calls it reason.)
"But why is there a dalek on tv, Doctor? New security drones, that's what they're saying. Do they not remember the whole Earth-moving, twenty-seven planets, dalek invasion thing?"
"Or the Battle of Canary Wharf?" Mickey adds, words heavy with an underlying anger. Rose was lost to save the world from daleks, after all.
The least she deserves is to have her sacrifice remembered.
"I'm not sure, to be honest," the Doctor admits, flinging herself onto one of the crystalline seats near the console. "It's incredibly weird, actually. As far as I can tell, the entire human race has forgotten that aliens exist at all. No stolen Earth, no Titanic flying over London or Racnoss star at Christmas. No Battle of Canary Wharf."
"That's- I mean, how does that even happen?"
"I have no idea. Something to do with collective consciousness, I'd guess. Some manipulation from another race wanting to remove Earth's knowledge and wariness of aliens. The Arkangel network is still flying strong in your orbit, after all. It wouldn't be so hard to harness the technology. Maybe even your own governments, or some rogue branch of Torchwood. I never did find Torchwood 2 or 4."
"Then how the hell do we still remember?"
"Probably my fault. You're still keyed into the TARDIS's neural network, so she's protecting you from the effects. Sorry about that."
"No, it's- it's good," Martha splutters. "Are you going to try and fix it?"
"Maybe," the Doctor leans back in her chair, pulling the phone cord as far as it will go. "Once all of this is over, I might look into it. Just to check if it's malevolent or not. It's not a bad thing, necessarily. To forget. Some of things they must have seen..."
She shakes her head to clear it. Can't let herself stop and think for too long, or she might never escape the whirlpool's tide.
"Anyway," Martha says - she always was good at noticing her spirals, circumventing them. "How's Donna?"
Nevermind. She speaks the words lightly, but in a tone that says she noticed the Doctor's avoidance earlier and is bracing for bad news.
"She's great!" the Doctor manages a smile, glad to have something, anything to latch onto that isn't her own thoughts. "Happily married, actually. Won the lottery a few years ago, doing very well for herself."
"That's- that's really good to hear."
"She doesn't remember me." She lets the words fall, as much as she wishes she could hold them close and buried and gone. But Donna needs to be kept safe, and Martha reaching out to her would be- not good. "She doesn't remember anything that happened. I- I had to wipe her memory, after the daleks. It was killing her."
The silence stretches longer this time, and for a moment the Doctor is sure she's broken everything.
"Well, I'm glad she's happy," Martha says eventually. "There are worse fates, right?"
So many of your companions have had worse fates, she doesn't say, but the Doctor reads between the lines anyway.
"Yeah," she breathes.
"And how are you doing, Doctor? You're not alone, are you?"
"No! I'm great, actually. Got my fam. Yaz is really cool, you'd love her. Ryan and Graham are great. Jack's back in town right now, helped me out of prison-"
"Helped you out of where?"
"-and we're just sorting out this whole dalek thing! Should be all over pretty soon. Just, stay where you are."
"You know we can't do that, Doctor." If anything, Martha sounds amused. Determined. Ready to pick up her sword once again, defend the Earth from whatever might be coming.
In this second, everything is right with the world, and she misses Martha Jones in a way that hurts both her hearts at once.
"Well, stay safe at least. I'll call you back when this is done, to let you know."
"Thank you, Doctor. Maybe we could, I don't know- grab a drink, or something. Catch up."
"I'd like that," she replies, and they both know she has very little intent on following through.
Yaz appears at the end of the corridor, eyes bright, smile warm. She's chattering to someone, probably Ryan, completely oblivious, no weight on her shoulders.
The Doctor wishes she could keep Yaz like that, happy, delighted, laughing. Wishes that smile was just for her.
But she might have ruined it forever.
She's learnt to trust the TARDIS over the years, learnt that the TARDIS arrives when she thinks the Doctor should be rather than where the Doctor wants to be. She wants to trust that this, too, was for a good reason. The TARDIS has never led her wrong, in the end.
She has to believe.
"Well, I'll let you crazy kids go be heroes. Beat up some daleks for me, will you?"
"Of course, Doctor," Martha says. The Doctor imagines her smiling, linking fingers with Mickey. "Stay safe out there."
"Always," the Doctor grins. As Yaz and Ryan approach, she jumps up, throws the phone back on its hook and grabs hold of the TARDIS's controls.
"Who was that?" Yaz asks, wary, unsure of how to act around her. They need to sit down and talk, hash out the last ten months - and nineteen years - but now isn't the time.
Unfortunately, the time rarely seems to appear.
"Just an old friend checking in," the Doctor shrugs, avoiding her new companions' eyes. "There's daleks on the tv, haven't you heard? Let's fix that."
She throws the TARDIS into flight with a delighted whoop - after all these years, the thrill of flight never quite fades.
She's lost companions before, but as Martha’s call has reminded her, not all of them have met bad ends.
She refuses to let the fam down on that one, too.
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nanaminokanojo · 3 years
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Hey there! I just finished reading Bloom. Im soo glad i that i found your blog. Reading all the 3 chapters makes my heart go soft. The plot, the characters and your style of writing is just 👌🏻. I teared up when y/n ask Sukuna if he could hold her, i mean , c'mon i want him to hold me too 😭😅♥️
The way you potray Sukuna is immaculate. I really do like when writers wrote the male character like this. They being vulnerable towards their love interest and doesnt hesitate to show them that they're madly in love with them. I guess in our generation where 'hook up culture' is so common and its sooo hard to found people like Sukuna in real life *in your fic ...
Im not crier but reading this made me cry a few times. I have to stop for awhile cause i was to overwhelm with my own thoughts because I already given up trying to find a s/o because im too scare to be in a relationship. Mainly because of the fear of getting cheated on. I find myself relatable to y/n in a way she havent be in a serious relationship.
BLOOM makes me feel so much comfort and i wanna say thank you for writing it. Ik this is a long one but i recently stumbled upon too many writers here quiting Tumblr because they dont feel appreciated by their followers. You also made me wanna continue writing my Geto Suguru fic that has been in my draft for so long. So yeah, here i am, thank you. *im really sorry, this is getting way too long.
Thank you again and i couldnt wait to see more of your content in the future. Hope youre doing okay and stay safe wherever you are :)
-Sara
Hi, Sara! It's nice to meet you 💗 I'm doing great and I hope you are, too!
And no, I don't mind how long this got. Thank you for writing me a drabble's worth of ask 😁👍
I am happy that you liked Bloom and that it had this profound effect on you. Thank you for liking my writing style, too hehehe
You're the second person to have said all these things about Bloom!Sukuna (coined by @phantomreadsandreblogs 😙)
I love Sukuna so much, not just because I think he's hot haha I honestly think that Akutami built his character so well from a literary standpoint (like all the rest). So far, from what I have read, Sukuna's character is unwavering, and I loooove consistent characters.
And honestly, Bloom was me being self-indulgent, a way to bend the character, really. I wanted to feel a different facet of him with my hands so I made him extra soft here. Many don't really appreciate writers who do this and deviate from non-canon behavior and that's fine. They don't want the characters ruined in their heads, aaaand some of us want to run away with our imaginations 😜😁
But then, I guess this became a tribute to the traits of the men I knew which I loved. Bloom!Sukuna is a conglomeration of those good things I saw in those relationships, and believe it or not, non-toxic, uncomplicated relationships actually exist where those involved are just honest and there is no need for too much drama. Pasts catch up, too, but unless they affect the present, they're nothing one can't come to terms with.
Don't give up on finding an s/o just because of what you see especially if you really want one. Take it from this old hag, there are real people like the character I portrayed here. They're not exactly perfect but they do exist. And what happened to others won't necessarily happen to you. I got cheated on, too, and it sucks but it's unfair to expect that from everyone. Why am I giving love advice? 🤣🤣🤣
And ooooooh you're a writer too! Glad Bloom made you want to continue on your Geto fic. OMG I love him to bits too!!! Looking forward to it. 💗
Again, thank you!
-Clei
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moonttaeil · 3 years
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a small love letter to all of my followers:
hey this is nikki, your local chaotic blog which sometimes uploads long ass fics that fuck your head up and make you cry like there’s no tomorrow imagining scenarios that might light up something inside of you. I wanted to start off this saying how much I appreciate you all.
I started posting on tumblr around may this year, with my previous blog @/taeils (I had to switch blogs since tumblr bullied me to no end) and I had really great feedback even thought my fics didn’t show up in the tags and people didn’t really know about their existence. Then in august I decided to have a fresh start and open moonttaeils (always supporting my short king yes!) and wow, the visibility and appreciation this blog has gotten in barely five months is insane, I think I quadrupled my following count (which I don’t really mind nor take in consideration? I’ve always said the following count doesn’t really matter if there’s no interaction at the end of the day lol) but yeah, that happened and I’m actually very very overwhelmed by it.
I’ve got known around because of the “frathouse” series, which I LOVE dearly and will always hold close to my heart, but I can’t lie to you guys, I’ve felt as if I’ve been cataloged as that one blog that uploads the frathouse fics, which I don’t really mind to be complete honest, I’ve put on myself a label and people know me because of that, that’s cool I guess? But it is also true that it also pressured me to write something I wasn’t really in the mood to write for. The frathouse series for its more than just a college au and a bunch of fraternity brothers who party and hook up with y/n, I’ve always tried to put out there a message with my writings, a hidden treasure that only those who need to find it will find it, you know? Is that too philosophical? I don’t know, I just know that every story has also a meaning for me since I’ve written them all after an occurrence of my own life (you guys already know this). But returning to the point, i came to a crossroad on which I didn’t really feel like writing more for the frathouse because I really had no message to say, I had no lesson to teach, but on the other and I knew that people were expecting those stories, and people’s expectations were (and still are) very high because of what they’ve read before. I don’t really mind this, I repeat, but the pressure was still there.
That’s why I decided to start “the society”, yet another series but this time focused on the DREAM unit. Now let me tell you, the plot for that series? (And I don’t want to sound condescending) CHEFS KISS. Amazing. I don’t even know how my brain came up with that idea, but again: hard af to write and, damn it, the first episode was 30k long! Imagine what it will be like since there are like 4 more to go. A madness to write. But I still want to write it. And again, after uploading the first part it became so hard to keep writing because of the plot itself and because I felt pressured to keep updating something that I had yet still to write and ugh. Anxiety my dudes, it kicked in. I am still apologizing for not uploading it completely :(
Sooo yeah, that was a wild ride. And since I felt incompetent to keep writing “the society” and I also didn’t feel like writing another chapter for “the frathouse” I told myself: Nikki, you ought to write something! Do it with an one shot! A great idea right? And it was great until my mental health decided to drop to the ground, making the last few weeks really really hard to go through. I repeat (and I know I shouldn’t be saying this) that I am sorry. I feel like I’ve been giving you nothing but empty promises on fics and, at the end, that’s why people follow me on here. I don’t wanna sound whiny, and I don’t want people to feel sorry for me, that’s the last thing I want, but that’s the truth of my current situation. Even though I’ve already written 20k of my latest fic “DYNASTY”, it’s still not close to the end, and I’ve been writing slowly the last days like, maybe 200 hundred words a day, and besides that I’ve been focusing on myself mostly. Trying my best to go back to when I had passion and felt motivation on my whole body and brain to write. Because you guys are the ones that have achieved to make me stay here, and by your words of appreciation, and I can’t stress this enough, you guys have made me so happy I’ve even cried sometimes.
For a fic writer is hard, because not everyone will like your works, tumblr won’t always show your fics on the tags, maybe people will only like them and not reblog, or maybe you won’t get feedback sometimes, and that’s discouraging af. I’ve been there my dudes, it is horrible because you feel like all of your hours invested in that work have been thrown out of the window for nothing. But I had the great luck to get feedback from you guys and I can promise you my heart goes crazy when that happens, so I’m endlessly thankful for that, really.
I am still working hard on getting back on feet and finally post something good. I will not stop until I achieve it and let’s hope that will happen soon, but until then I can only say thank you for staying. Thank you to my followers, thank you to my mutuals (who have always been there and have always sent me encouraging messages than have always lifted my spirit up) and thank you for not leaving me behind on this 2020 !!
I love you guys !!
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hanamuranobuyuki · 3 years
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About the Amanda, Jyushi, Jiro, Love, Life series
Today I thought I would try to give a little bit of insight to the ongoing series right now. It’s surprisingly been a couple of months since I began this journey, and with how much I have planned to write for this, it will probably take a few more until I’ve written all that I have planned out. With the sheer length of these works it does take a long time, so I might have forgotten about a loooot of stuff, but I’ll try to list off the things I remember quq. If you’re interested in reading some of these backstories, you can after the line break^^
For those interested in reading the series as it gets updated, you can read it here! I hope you enjoy this!
To be completely honest, I should have been done with this little excursion after writing Amanda’s Journey to Bringing Jyushi Happiness. I thought that this much was enough, and I was having low confidence issues as to whether or not things were likable, if they were in character (or somewhat at the very least...) and the list could go on forever.
But ideas kept popping into my head and what was supposed to be disjointed scenes out of everyday life for Jiro and Jyushi as they manage a long distance relationship after only being together for a day turned into Closing the Distance Between Us..... quite comical if you ask me considering the word count just got longer from there *cries into the distance*
But to tell you the truth, I’m happy I continued this journey despite the challenges. I feel like the way I’m progressing through this is giving it a more complete story that embodies the “circle of life and love” I imagine thanks to Amanda’s existence. This is also the reason why I named the series the Amanda, Jyushi, Jiro, Love, Life series. It’s a circle of connections, founded by Amanda, and it branches off into love for Jyushi and Jiro, which betters their life and/or changes it drastically from what it could have been. So with that kinda pushed out of the way, lemme tell you about some good old background info.
1. Amanda’s Journey to Bringing Jyushi Happiness is not my first Jiroshi fic
... it’s just the first one I’ve completed. After being immersed in the Hypmi fanfic archives and devouring the sweetness that is Jiroshi I started thinking about things I could write. The first one came in the form of Jyushi wearing red lipstick, which to this day I don’t know if I’m making it fluff or more explicit but I was hooked on the idea and... stopped writing 500 words into the work. The second one came in the form of An Outrageous Circumstance. I wasn’t surprised about Buster Bros making an appearance in my strange dreams, but after reflecting on it I realized I could use this and switch Jyushi with me in the dream plot. I fortunately did manage to finish writing that, so if you’d like to read that, you can here.
Amanda’s Journey to Bringing Jyushi Happiness was born from the concept that Amanda has more of an importance to Jyushi’s life than ever imagined. I wondered, what would happen if Amanda had a soul and supported Jyushi? And from there this was born. Initially I was content with leaving it as it was since I didn’t know just how much power I could give Amanda, but they grew on me so much okay? I practically love Amanda as much as I do Jyushi and Saburo. I can’t produce them tho aha... having Amanda as a support person is one of the best things I could write for Jyushi. And I hope people can enjoy this as much as I have.
2. The soulmates concept is mostly forgotten about 90% of the time for me.
Whenever I write more installments I forget that this is kind of a soulmates au, based on the fact that Amanda can see the fated linkage between Jyushi and Jiro. I always imagine this is kinda like a semi rewrite of canon world but at the same time it’s like it’s own little world quq. But whenever I have to stop and think about how much fluff I need to add and just sequential things like that... the soulmates concept come out. I guess I do have to thank myself for actually remembering about it every once in awhile XD
But I will mention that this fate concept will come out more in some of the newer installments. I have prewritten something a little more into the future that heavily talks about the fated pair deal. I hope you’ll look forward to it!
2.1. Why is Jiro the only one that has a fated string?
I wrote this specifically in Amanda’s point of view. If anyone had a fated string, Amanda would believe this person to be Jyushi’s fated partner, because their duty is to look over Jyushi and make sure he receives the happiness he deserves. Amanda cannot see the fated strings of anyone else in the world, because Jyushi is all Amanda truly cares about. Think of it as a special gift Amanda was gifted by the gods for their journey to giving Jyushi his happiness.
From here, I don’t know what else might be important, but I’ll list off some other things that might’ve been written in notes and other things like that.
3. Jyushi has “graduated” high school.
Jyushi’s school circumstances are kinda strange now that I think about it. THINKING ABOUT IT LOGICALLY, Jyushi should be a third year in high school at his age of 18 (or at least... I thought so lmao). Instead, I’ve given him a job and a life outside of school lol. So I’ll just say Jyushi got into school a little earlier than he should have thanks to his parent’s frequent travels abroad. He was raised by his grandmother most of the time, whenever his parents couldn’t stay in Japan. Around middle school, Jyushi transferred to a middle school that was closer to his grandmother’s residence, rather than feed into the middle school his elementary school was joined with, so then the commute from his grandmother’s residence wouldn’t be as problematic.
Amanda was born around this time, and they got to witness the extremely difficult times Jyushi faced. When Jyushi’s grandmother passes, Jyushi moves in with his aunt and uncle who lived in the next town over. Feeling bad about being a nuisance when they were planning on having a family, Jyushi finds a high school with a boarding plan so he doesn’t have to inconvenience them any more than he did. Along with these plans Jyushi also found part time jobs that were allowed in accordance to the school rules. This is where he finds his passion with making music, which is more than just listening to it and singing in general.
Jyushi was fortunate enough that he had his own dorm. Most of that reason came in the form of his “eccentric personality” which came out a lot whenever he was nervous. He had classmates who talked to him, but he didn’t really have friends. With that said and done, Jyushi quietly progressed through school and quietly graduated around his 18th birthday. He was already set with a job though, with the label he is currently under giving him a contract whilst in his third year of high school. The company officially advertises Argo Kishii Gakudan, and Jyushi becomes the lead singer who produces everything on his own. They gain popularity almost instantly thanks to the copious amount of lives they have done.
Technically, Argo Kishii Gakudan was already a couple years old however. They were made up of Jyushi’s upperclassmen that recognized his talent for music, Takeru, Jun, and Keisuke. You will see more of them in Side N. But because they were so small, and had to pay for all their bookings and everything on their own, going out to share their music, even when they were a hit in their frequent live houses, was nearly impossible. Thanks to the backing of their label, Argo Kishii Gakudan was able to perform around the country and do tours. The fateful one that brings Jiro and Jyushi together is their first one to Ikebukuro.
Jyushi in the current day doesn’t have many opportunities to see his mother and father. They’re successful in their own respective companies, and it shows in the way they send copious amounts of money to Jyushi whenever they can’t meet. Jyushi never has used it though, instead saving it and using only his own earnings from his contract and his previous part time jobs.
Sooo that’s my sorry attempt to document the reason why Jyushi doesn’t attend school lmao. And maybe a little insight on Argo Kishii Gakudan lol.
4. Room settings are soooo difficult to envision, especially whenever they’re different from whatever it is you’re looking at
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When I started writing Side: I, and even before when I was writing the ending of Closing the Distance Between Us, I didn’t have the image of Jiro’s room to refer to. How I imagined his room was somewhat drastically different, and thanks to that, I ended up not really giving much of a description to those fics. As of today though, I wrote some hefty descriptions of Jyushi’s room because it’s building up on the imagery I had, in combination to Jyushi’s room in ARB.
You’ll get to read it in the next fic I post from this series. Hope you look forward to it!!
5. Music kinda defines a lot of my inspirations to adding to this series
I listen to music all the time while I’m writing. As a result, there are times I get sidetracked based on songs that come to the shuffle. When I wrote Amanda’s Journey to Bringing Jyushi Happiness and Closing the Distance Between Us, I shuffled a lot of the Hypmi music into my playlist, with a focus on Moonlight Shadow XD. But then I started writing Side: I, and then I came across a really inspirational song when I watched a Men’s Rhythmic Gymnastics routine. While I don’t really associate with the story this song was for, I love this song enough I played it on repeat for like. 80% of that fic entirely.
There’s a couple lines where Jiro thinks about how some romantic music would be playing in the background if it was a drama of some sorts, and this song was a tribute to the fact I was listening to one song... almost entirely. Please listen to it here.
For Side: I-02, another song was put on replay for a little while as well. I made mention of it in the upload post I did for that fic, but I’ll list it here as well.
I hope you’ll give these tracks a listen one day!
7. Some references kinda inside the fics.
I guess I’ll wrap up this mini list of nonsense by mentioning some things I’ve added into these fics based on inspiration from other things or just in random I guess.
Amanda’s Journey to Bringing Jyushi Happiness: I didn’t know how a love at first sight type of story with soulmates au would work out when I wrote it. I was inspired to write the arcade portion of the date because 1. I wanted to write a kiss segment. And 2. I thought arcade dates would be enjoyable XD.
Closing the Distance Between Us: I never expected this would be in sequential order, like I think I mentioned earlier. I intended on this being more like texting and messaging moments between the two while coping with their long distance relationship. Because of this... I... I don’t really know. I didn’t have an excuse to write this XD I just loved the two and my inspiration was the fuel that was this series? Ahahaha XD
You, Me, and Summer: Side I: a lot of romantic feels fueled this fic, among other things. I was inspired to write a whole lot on Jyushi’s hair routine bc of the tsunami season voice lines on ARB. When I did write this, I was also watching a sports anime called Bakuten. It is a Men’s rhythmic gymnastics anime, and it was what I mentioned when Jyushi watches the anime with Ichiro. The game that they all play is the Game of Life, more or less. I played a few games from the game boy edition just to get a grasp on the game ahaha. But the reason why I added this game was because the ARB event that ran me over with Jiro and Jyushi SSRs. They were event scout SSRs... and the fact that I was drowning in Jiroshi feels only to have MORE thanks to official content even if they weren’t in the same team just made me internally scream and dance all night long.
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These two... destroyed my account in more ways than one. I’m now technically a Jiro and Jyushi stan rather than a Saburo and Jyushi stan bc Saburo or Ichiro on that matter never come home. But thanks to this I had to play enough to rank on two accounts. Thus... the one month delay.
Side I-02: because of this event, I decided that they should okay their own human sized Life game. I had to give tribute to the event that wrecked me aha. When I was writing this, I drew something on the side as well. . . And while I’m not sure I like it anymore, I thought I’d share it as well.
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One hour of watching the sun rise and not being able to sleep led me to drawing this prototype on a whim. And because I’m a fan of drawing Jyushi’s wardrobe... I thought it would be fun ahaha XD I am a newbie still when it comes to digitally drawing but I am happy at how this turned out!
Finally, I will make mention of the haunted house. While hopping through logs on pixiv, I came across some log that showed how Jiro and Jyushi are scared of scary things, but Jyushi is like a sobbing mess and Jiro is just flat out scared. And later, I heard Jiro react negatively to a horror movie in ARB. When I heard this, I couldn’t resist the temptation! And since technically, Jiro and Jyushi don’t know more about each other than you would think, I thought it was a good opportunity to get them to know something else about them.
Sooo... I think that’s all I can think of right now! I hope you enjoyed learning about some of these small tidbits I could remember when I started working on this series. There’s a lot more to this you can look forward to, and I hope you look forward to it!
I will also apologize in advance for the sheer amount of mistakes there may be. I am my own beta, and I’m usually finishing these up at 5am like clockwork XD whenever I hit a slump in my writing, or miraculously reach the end of this series, I will make sure to clean them up I swear TTuTT thank you for understanding QuQ
If you have any questions, you can ask me here! I’ll try to get to them as quickly as possible. Thank you for taking the time to read this!
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honestsycrets · 4 years
Text
Mirror, Mirror | [ Cursed!Ivar x Modern!Reader ]
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❛ pairing | cursed!ivar x modern! disabled (cleft lip sooo)! latina!reader
❛ type | ( ? )
❛ summary | after ivar kills his son, the witch freydis, his wife, curses him. somehow, he ends up with you.
❛  warnings | witch!freydis, POC reader, disabled reader, modern fic, cursed!ivar, modeling/elements, mention of self hate, sweet uncles, SFW
❛  sy’s notes | happy Monday everyone! how are we doing? are we surviving the coronapocalypse? I hope so. I come to you with another fruit of my eccentric, written all in one shot, writing. this request was left over from my Ivar 5CW event. 
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“I got you something for your surgery. See looks just like you, right, good girl?” your uncle rushed into your room, full militant uniform, with the great mirror between his aged fingers. As a military mechanic, his schedule was often too full to have time for lunch, but today was different. He sets it down, a soft tuft of dust floats free, and you cough in its wake.
“Where did you get this, tio?”
“Estate sale on Cherry. Imported by the dead guy, uhh… Mr… Borg,” he answers, flicking his hands in the air in circles as if he’s trying to remember the guy’s name. As he rambles on about the dead man you look to the empty wall, soft grey and bland, just like you’ve wanted to paint your walls-- now that you could! Because unlike the other houses, this great expanse is all yours. You could paint it rainbow colour, flick some glitter up there, and seal it if you so damn wanted. Instead, you settled on a subtle grey. The soft pink dries on your accent wall, waiting for your bountiful French decor.
“From where?” you slur out, smoothing out the bottom of your sundress, and point toward the wall where you wanted the giant mirror to go. It would encompass the wall. But you’d feel like you always wanted to: like a princess. “China?”
“Tsk! China!” He booms half insulted in the way he drags it out, smacking his hat against his palm. “Scandinavia!”
“Scandinavia isn’t a country.”
“Ay,” he walks toward the mattress on the newly mopped floor, picking up a nail that you set on your bed. “Stop giving me a hard time. I bought it for you, eh? Wasn’t cheap!”
It didn’t look cheap, either. It sweeps nearly the size of your tall uncle, its silver designs swirling around, flourishing along the top. It’s lovely. It fits your aesthetic, even. It’d make for some good pictures, too.
“Thank you tio,” you answer, putting that picture-perfect smile on. He’s a proud man when he mounts that mirror up, securing it with some strange hook and chain type restraints. It’ll smash ya, he said! Maybe it could have, but when all is said and done, and you stand before the massive mirror, it’s a strange type of beautiful. Ethereal as it was, something felt… off behind its reflection. Your nails skim the surface of the glass, repetitive click after click,
“How are the stitches feeling?” he asks.
You lift your fingers up, inching toward the puffy flesh of your mangled lip. The stitches would look like shit now. “Dr. Rao fixed it.”
“Tch, he better’ve. How did he do it wrong the first time?” he asks, and you shrug your shoulders, as if you don’t know. What were you, a plastic surgeon? “Since you’re feelin’ good again… Make me a tunafish before I go!”
Should have said no. But you weren’t going to say no to your uncle’s love for salty fish squashed between two pieces of wheat bread and some scraggly salad. You’re sure the mirror caused three times that. Okay, maybe more like thirty… or three hundred.
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Good body, but you don’t have the face for it. Try photography. The university has a good program.
Stapled to your portfolio is that one little note. A woman’s would be kind words plastered onto the front as a friendly word of advice. Give up, move on. Something out the bright limelight. You kick off your shoes at the door, thrash the door shut, pop the lock. Set dinner on the counter. Don’t eat it. Head to your room and thrash that door too. Drop the portfolio on the desk in front of the obnoxious mirror and sink into the plush white comforter.
And you breathe. Your chest swells deep with breath, and it's prickly against your lungs, as if it hurt. Your sparkly phone vibrates with your friends’ many questions. Did you get it? Do models get paid per shoot? A hundred considerate questions and maybe, they all failed to give the one comment you needed to hear from anyone of them. Ms. Bisset had dragged the knife of disappointment across your belly, disemboweled you until nothing but disappointment, remorse, and self-hate poured out onto your toes.
“Your face looks better than hers.”
You shoot up, hair matted to the soaked pieces of hair against your cheek, turning side to side. No one was in your room, and yet, you felt them here. Their gaze poisoning the sanctity of your private place-- where you could cry and no one would know better. You lurch out, flip your phone, and there’s nothing there. And again, you reach out, only this time its to the knife at the bottom of the top drawer of your nightstand. You slip out of your fluffy sheets, quaking around the handle, turning it over and over, and over and over, looking around and around.
“Who’s there?!”
The room stretches inhumanely. As if the walls goes on for a mile or longer. You swirl, and your white dress follows, but nothing else. No matter how you pace from one end, to the other, and around the corners. “You’re getting close,” the voice laughs, and there’s a gentleness behind that statement. “No… nope, no. In the chest, really?”
You stomp toward the sheer white curtains, hiking them back, as if you’d really see anyone there. The warm sunlight streams against your skin, down in your bones, and there’s nothing or no one there.
“What the fuck,” you whisper, but no one is there to answer, and you’re sure. You’ve checked your closet, under the bed, over the bed, in the chest, by every nook and cranny and-- you look up, under your desk, and that’s when you see it. Two slouched legs, dependent upon a inky black and ragged crutch. You scan him over, something of a medieval horror, because he’s all leather, and chainmail, and locks, and buckles, and god he’s big in his own way, encompassing the mirror-like a cloud of black death.
But he’s not.
“There you go! Checkmate.” Despite those worn hands, his pale face is chiseled as if by a sculptor. High cheekbones, a pronounced forehead, and a broad nose. His hair is in its own way lifelike, braided back behind his head. His dull expression comes alive in bright blue eyes, excitably staring to you, and past you. His armour clinks. You grasp the knife, flicking it at the mirror.
“Watch out.” He warns, and you duck, because the mirror reflects your knife, chucking it into your beautifully painted wall. It embeds straight out into the wall, and you screech, both for your lovely wall but also the great loss of your mind. There was a man. In the mirror. Of your house. You’re stepping back, staring behind you, then back again. He’s there in the mirror, but not beside you, where you imagine his large body to be overtaking your petite frame.
“What the fuck are you?”
“Ivar,” he answers. Igor-- like those old Frankenstein movies? “Igor?”
His fingers flick, rattling irritation. “Ivar the Boneless.”
“Who?”
He leers behind that glass. For that awful leer of unchecked power, slamming his hand onto the other side of that glass, there’s nothing to be said for it. It’s as if he thinks you should know, because his lip wrinkles, and he turns toward his surroundings. Within the mirror, craggy, dark surroundings. He collapses on a bed of furs, which you can only just so make out because it is directly behind him.
“I am… was a king,” Ivar explains. Though this is all one great illusion, you’re curious enough in it, because what else did you have to do but sulk? Your hand goes toward the holy oil your tio had so graciously left, telling you to smear it all over, sanctify the mirror because who knows what kind of creepie demons were in that thing, and maybe you should have listened, and maybe he knew better.
“I’m not dead,” he snorts, “Take your little Christian bottle and spray for demons somewhere else.”
“Then what are you,” you play along. Ivar, for all his snappy wisdom, falls quiet a moment. He unlatches the armour on his legs, slides out of some medieval torture device that held his legs mishappen and weird.
“Cursed,” he answers. “...by my witch of an ex-wife and her little--” bastard, you almost read, but the pain in which he said it, suppressed any meaning behind it. It’s as if he dies a little when he says such a thing.
“It… wasn’t yours?”
“The wretch couldn’t be mine,” he says factually. For a man as strong as he was, you wonder why. Why was he explaining this to you, who he had only just met, and then again-- why not? If this Ivar brain illusion was locked up as long as he was, hey, maybe you’d be aching for company too. He gestures from his pronounced nose down, over his full lips. “His lips… his nose. They were torn one to another.”
“A cleft lip?” he sighs, dipping his gloved hands behind his head. He doesn’t lift, not even when you shriek, coming closer now. You climb over the white desk on your knees. “I had a cleft lip!”
He turns up his head, bitter at the mention, as if ice had stabbed not only him-- but straight through him, too. Even more than talk of his wife, talk of the small child seems to wound him. A wretch, a bastard-- “What happened to him?”
He turns in his bed, bound to ignore you, when you slap the glass, shaking the very foundation of the wooden boards under the bed. “I killed him-- I killed me son.” He answers, and the words sound heartless to you, torn as they were, pained as they were. When he turns up his head, you connect with his eyes, desperate to give sense to murder. “He was in pain. He could not live like that, mocked by everyone he meets, loves.”
You hold his words close, looking down, the scratchy handwriting from your denied portfolio sits there, a reminder of his words. “That’s why you’re in the mirror.” He clasps his hands together, leaning forward, and unclasps again, offering up toward the dark nothingness and it’s detached light which lights his bed from seemingly nowhere at all. “Well, good. You deserve to be in that mirror for what you’ve done.”
He doesn’t deny it. He turns, all alone, abandoned in his bed. You wonder how long he’s been there. Has it been a short time? Has it been a long time? It’s not been in the last five hundred years, for his clothes look aged. Maybe a thousand. But you don’t really know. Whoever this Ivar the Boneless was, he was an old man.
“I meant what I said,” his voice is rough, almost quaky. Is he crying? His words grace your skin like feathers, tickling you into interest for what he might say next. You settle into your chair at the desk.
“What?”
“Your face is more beautiful than hers,” he prompts. “Ms. Bisset.”
“How did you know her name?”
Ivar rumbles in his laughter, his broad back flexing. “You talk to yourself more than you’d think. And when you’re not talking to yourself, you leave all the important articles on your desk.”
It’s true. You scramble to stuff them into their appropriate folders, cursing him for being as he was. A nosy man with no sense of morals. If you were locked in a mirror, wouldn’t you have nothing to do but snoop around? You make note-- buy a cat. At least then, you wouldn’t feel your mind running away on you.
“That means a lot,” you mutter, “Coming from an ableist.”
Ivar pulls his armour off. Strip by agonizing strip, until he’s nothing but well formed muscles in his inky trousers, matching the blotchy black tattoo of dragons that course by the back of his neck. You spin around in your chair, hands to your eyes, chanting ‘I see nothing!’ as if… if you said it enough times, maybe it would be true. “Product of my time.”
He rests.
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“Isn’t that a bit much?”
Hallucination or real, you came to accept that Ivar the Boneless, some kinda Viking-King was here for good. His mirror is the best mirror to do your make up in due to the great natural light that filtered in, but also the worst for his companionship was always awful. WIth every flick of your eyeshadow brush painted in bright red, Ivar had a sing song opinion.
“You look better natural.”
He’s not a fan of this whole fashion eye you were going for. Vibrant hot red and warm blues weren’t his favourite, especially not blue, because they reminded him of his brother Sigurd. Gods rest his soul, he told you. He killed him too.
“Ivar, for fuck’s sake.”
“You talk to your tio like that?” he scrunches his fingers.
“It’s not a date, Ivar.”
Tch, Ivar drags out, throwing his hands behind his head, annoyed in the way that he plops back onto his bed. Ivar’s ideal take? Dewy, natural, something with a hint of colour and a well-flicked eyeliner. Not a fan of caterpillar lashes, as he called them. He did like a perfect red lip, which you only learned by angling your television toward his mirror, so that he might be able to watch while you were out on the town with Igor, the orange tabby cat.
“Then what is it?”
His eyes falter, falling to the red satin romper you wear, as if you know, and he knows, that you’re up to no good. “Fashion shoot.” You answer him. “If they won’t publish me, I’ll publish myself.”
Ivar’s lips quiver, amused, and he smiles as you pomp those soft curls. It’s sultry, sexy, defined. He doesn’t think it needs to be. But it’s bold and only a fool would deny how beautiful you looked, dolled up more beautifully than even his late Freydis. He was here because of his son, placed into a home with a woman who had the same condition as his late, beautiful baby boy. It wasn’t on accident.
Ivar smiles. “Be ruthless.”
So you try, settling yourself on the edge of the bed next to the tripod, gliding your fingers over your dress, considering yourself. “What, no set design?” he asks.
“Set design?” you ask, laughing at the concept. Behind you is the soft pink accent wall, bouncing against the other walls behind you, soft and sweet. That’s all that was needed, really. Or so you thought.
“I’ve been in whorehouses with more taste.”
Ivar, you grumble, bounding off of the bed. Then, standing before him, your hands slap on your thighs. “Well what do you suggest?”
He leans out, gesturing his fingers toward the curtains. “Pull those dust catchers you call blinds shut. Add some soft flowers.”
You rush out of the room on bare toes, rushing back from your craft closet, arms full of fake flowers. You arrange them around your balcony bed, passionate and red. “Like this?” you crawl back on the lip, taking your place on the bed. Ivar leans, his cheek against the cold glass.
“Good enough.”
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By now, you’re used to Ivar’s comments. Fashion shoots are on the daily, and as much as he detested the colour, you’ve grown used to his comments. You learn that he is better suited for creating a good background. Something about Ivar is all show, all flash, and you love that. In place of a friend to push you along, there’s Ivar. Always looking forward to giving you opinions about where to place this, or that, and Igor get the fuck out!
Priceless, like you said.
But as you progressed, and Ivar sat trapped in the mirror, something ate at you. When Ivar was not on his crutch, he would throw himself on the ground and drag himself like a giant snake across the ground wherever he went. He never once said a word about your crooked lips. The stitches faded. It was a gnarly scar in its place now, which hardly commanded attention save from the men you met on the daily, who all at least asked what was different about your face at one time or another, or excused themselves and never came back.
“You finally took my advice,” Ivar looks at you, dolled up like he liked. Soft curls, soft make up, a white dress. The gentle purity reminds him of his mother, Aslaug, or so he told you. You peer up at him, dragging the eyeliner out.
“Maybe it looks better like this,” you tease, and the thought hits you. “I’m guessing you have more experience than me, chulito. You’ve been in that mirror for 1200 years, you know.”
“Mostly in whorehouses. Wasn’t all bad, eh? Imagine my chances at finding a virgin with a cleft lip to set me free.”
“I bet you miss your family,” you tell him. Or what was left of it-- that was.
“I miss my brother Hvitserk,” he admits. The one brother, that though they both fought, he still found love in his heart for him. “And my mother,” tears gather, welling at his almond-shaped eyes, and you’ve done it again. “Freydis.”
“Would she take you back?”
“No,” his form drops, “You know I killed her.”
“A common theme,” you tease, drawing a small smile of him. But he drops his head down, cupping his hand behind his thick neck, lost in thought. “Ivar it-- it’s okay. You’re not a monster, y’know.”
“Aren’t I?”
He has a reputation for it. The names, the numbers, the people, the death. So, so much death. If he were here, today, they would call him a serial killer. A terrible man. A demon. When he sits there, unresponsive, you press your fingers to the glass.
“You aren’t,” you swipe the words from his lips, he has nothing to do but back away. Hope and pray you drop the subject, move on. He’s done talking again. This time you don’t. “Ivar-- you aren’t.”
You turn your fist to the mirror, crack your well-formed fist straight on. As opposed to the last time, reflecting the so deemed flimsy metal of your sword, your fist fractures the glass. It clatters around your fist, falling apart into a million tiny shards on the back of your blood, seeping into the mirror. But it’s cemented there, suspended in the air. Eyes wide, Ivar’s chest swells with air, and you roll your scarred lip into your mouth.
Then, the shards drop. The mirror cracks like a halo around your feet.
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luvdsc · 3 years
Note
hi miss cat! so i just recently read ur fic “august” and it was so heartbreakingly beautiful btw :”) you have such an amazing gift for writing and i hope you continue cus you’re touching a lot of people with the words and scenarios you create,, and the way i just resonate with each character especially y/n?? WOW.
august is also such a memorable and nostalgic month for me cus i met this guy (we don’t communicate anymore tho). we met thru a similar group of mutual friends at a get-together. he lived cities away from me so we usually just communicate via text or online. there wasn’t a label or anything but we would talk for days end. like it was we were “together” but not really “together” JADHHSJAAJ sometimes i would even wait and stay up late at night for him just so we could talk and he would do vice versa as well.
we met during august and i confessed to him later during Christmas Eve. turns out,, the feelings were mutual but it felt weird at the same time?? like usually we feel giddy and happy even but somehow it felt odd?? like in the back of my mind i kinda knew that this was probably gonna be the end and turns out i was right.
after our confession, we didn’t talk for awhile. at first i thought he was just busy so i just waited for him, while waiting, i would constantly message him everyday and update him on what’s been going on with me. i got to the point where i was just desperate like it was okay if he didn’t reply, just at least a “read” to all of my messages would be enough for me. so i rlly related to y/n so much in the fic :”) (btw i’m listening to august by taylor swift as i’m typing this so i’m kinda in my feels rn LMAO)
after 1737271 years, he FINALLY read them and then he blocked me in all of his socials??? LIEK?? OKAY DOUCHE?! then i heard from his friends that he deactivated after for awhile,,, and then when he came back and reactivated, i was able to messaged him again and i was just fed up and completely hurt and confused and asked him why did he block me and just ghosted me for months after everything.
GUESS WHO REPLIED?? HIS GIRLFRIEND?? I DIDNT KNOW HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND,, AND EVEN HIS FRIENDS DIDNT TELL ME ANYTHING, NOR WAS IT SPECIFIED IN HIS SOCIALS?? SO NOT ONLY AM I HURT BUT I FEL DISGUSTED WITH MYSELF?? like i would never try to ruin a relationship :// it was all just so messy.
turns out when i met him during august he was already dating someone, and during December when i confessed to him, it was also the same month of their 1st year anniversary. basically i just wanted to bury myself alive and drown in my tears at this point. it was the first time i was ever so invested in someone but in the end it felt like shit :// he was my “almost” which hurt the most cus he wasn’t technically mine? FOR GODS SAKE ALL THIS TIME I WAS THE SIDE HOE WITHOUT ME EVEN KNOWING LIKE HELL NAW IM OVER THIS😫😤🤢
we chatted a few weeks after, and surprisingly he initiated the conversation as if nothing had happened? he noticed i was being distant and cold and he was like “are u mad at me” nO I JUST RLY WANT TO PUNCH U OFF TO THE NEXT HEMISPHERE CUS YOURE SUCH A DOUCHE!!! and then he was like “i’m sorry, although I don’t really know what i should say sorry for, but yea i’m sorry” the fact that he didn’t see the reason/purpose as to why he should say sorry just makes his apology all the more meaningless 😪🤧
after that we just started fighting and that was the last time we ever talked to each other. i blocked his number and all his social media accounts, i even unfriended our mutual “friends” since i just wanted to cut everything and everyone related and connected to him completely.
but now i’m okay:D looking back, he wasn’t even worth it. it’s just a shame that he was the first person i invested all my love and time to, despite all the distance and uncertainty, that’s what i regret the most. it was also hard cus although i didn’t know about his relationship with his girlfriend i felt disgusted and ashamed of myself for awhile. like the ghosting did hurt but him blatantly lying and flirting with me despite being in a committed relationship hurt worse i can’t even imagine what his gf feels ohgod.
i’m sorry this is so long. but like i said earlier, you really have such a gift for writing and i hope that life offers you lots and lots of colorful, beautiful and fun moments in your life, like how it is in all your stories! hehe ❤️💫✨💐💐 stay safe miss cat and i’m wishing u all the best <3
hi, honey bee !! 💓 omg thank you so much for reading august and saying such nice things about it 🥺🥺💟 and you’re so sweet klashaskfdlj i’m gonna cry, thank you for complimenting my writing 😭💗💗 it makes me really happy to know that my stories can make you feel this way and that you can put yourself in yn’s shoes :’) 
oh god... reading what happened to you, i’m so so sorry that you wasted your time on such a d!ck /: he sounds absolutely disgusting, and the fact that he can’t even see where he went wrong??? also how his friends didn’t say anything?? jfc cheating is the one thing that makes me the most upset, like.... why would he do that???? if you wanna hook up with someone, break up with your s/o first. it’s a douche move, sure, but it’s the worst to cheat. you’re breaking your s/o at that point ): i’ve unfortunately seen both sides of this because of my friends, and god, i’ve seen the strongest girls get broken down because their trust is broken and they think it’s their fault and it’s just so so painful. i’m so sorry you had to go through this, lovebug ):
good on you for cutting off your mutual friends and everything associated with him. you don’t need that in your life, and i’m really happy that you’re doing okay and thriving now, sweetpea 🌸 i’m sorry that he was your first relationship ): i hope that, if you choose to try again, the next person knows how lucky they are to have you 🤍 you should not be disgusted nor ashamed of yourself, angel ): he’s the one who should be feeling those things. you didn’t know, and it’s not your fault. he hurt you and his gf, and that’s on him. (and i hope his gf dumped his sorry @ss)
and it’s okay, lovebug, you don’t have to apologize! 💞 thank you for wanting to share your thoughts and feelings after reading august 🥺💕 and thank you so so sooo much 😭💛 all my stories are based heavily on my life, so i’d say that life has indeed offered me tons of colorful and beautiful and fun moments :’) fingers crossed that i continue to receive more tho!!!! and i hope for the same for you, honey bee !!! i hope life treats you kindly and only good things come your way 🌼🌼 thank you again, lovebug, and i hope you’re staying safe and happy, and i’m sending you all my love and support 🌷🌷🌷✨
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searchingwardrobes · 4 years
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Start of Time: 2/?
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Here it is finally, the second chapter of this fic!! Sorry it’s taken me so long to get this up, @teamhook ! I also have no idea how long this is going to be. Looking at my outline, it should be at least six chapters.
Remember that Emma can’t remember her name in this, so Emma is just “she” at first in this chapter, then “Wendy” later on. (You’ll see why once you read the chapter). I won’t lie, writing a story in which Emma can’t remember her name and no one else knows it either has been a big challenge. Hopefully I wrote it a way everyone can follow!
Rating: T
Trigger warning: Alice Jones appears in this but is Killian’s adopted daughter with Milah, and so is Henry. Henry has no relation to Emma in this. There is also positive past Millian.
Also on Ao3 and part of my Fandom Birthday Playlist.
Tagging the usuals: @snowbellewells​ @teamhook​ @kmomof4​ @let-it-raines​@whimsicallyenchantedrose​ @xhookswenchx​ @jennjenn615​ @kday426​ @welllpthisishappening​ @wellhellotragic​ @winterbaby89​ @stahlop​ @spartanguard​ @shireness-says​ @scientificapricot​ @xhookswenchx​ @distant-rose​ @delirious-latenight-laughs​ @resident-of-storybrooke​ @vvbooklady1256​ @thislassishooked​ @bethacaciakay​ @hollyethecurious​ @nikkiemms​ @ultraluckycatnd​ @optomisticgirl​ @profdanglaisstuff​ @branlovestowrite​ @tiganasummertree​ @snidgetsafan​ 
I'm an atom in a sea of nothing
Looking for another to combine
Maybe we could be the start of something
Be together at the start of time
When she awoke again, the sun shone brightly through the curtains. She struggled to sit up, her mouth dry and tasting of cotton. Her head still ached, but it no longer throbbed. How long had she slept? Was the sun this bright when she woke up before? She heard sounds outside her door as she swung herself slowly around and stood up. The room spun a bit, but once she took a few deep breaths, she was able to walk across the room easily enough. Her clothes were folded neatly on top of a white dresser, and she made quick work of changing out of the pajamas. The fabric was warm and smelled of fabric softener - someone had washed them.
Speaking of washing, she suddenly realized how greasy her hair was. She could actually smell her own body odor, which was never good. It made her wonder again just how long she had been asleep. A shower would be nice, but she wasn’t about to ask such a thing of complete strangers. They had been kind, she understood that, but she couldn’t stay here any longer.
When she exited her door, she was struck by the quaint log cabin style of the home. Her bedroom was at the end of an open hallway that looked out over a great room with high beamed ceilings of exposed wood. On the other side of a stone fireplace, she could see the dark haired man named Killian at the stove in the kitchen.
She made her way quickly down the stairs and through the living area. She paused at the threshold of the kitchen, and when she did, the family’s chattering stopped abruptly. Little Alice sat at the kitchen island spreading jam on toast. A boy with dark hair just a shade lighter than Killian’s stood by the sink pouring glasses of orange juice. A woman with a dark pixie cut stood with mouth agape clutching a fistfull of silverware. For some reason, the domestic scene made a lump rise in her throat.
“You’re up!” Killian exclaimed with a wide grin. He lifted the pan of scrambled eggs he was stirring. “Would you like some breakfast?”
“Um, no thank you,” she replied nervously. “I um . . . I thank you and your wife for everything you’ve done -”
The woman interrupted her with an exuberant laugh. “Oh no, I’m not his wife. My husband David and Killian are best friends. Killian was delivering a foal at our farm last night, so I came over to babysit Alice.”
“I am not a baby,” protested Alice with a pout that said otherwise.
“Excuse me,” the woman corrected with a pointed smile at the little girl, “I was having girl time with Alice, my favorite seven year old.”
Alice tilted her chin with satisfaction than started slathering jam on another piece of toast.
“I’m Mary Margaret,” the woman said as she turned her attention back to their visitor. She extended her hand.
“I - um, that is, I . . .” Shit! What was the social protocol when you didn’t remember your own damn name?
“Oh, I’m sorry!” Mary Margaret exclaimed snatching her hand back. “I forgot.”
“Sooo, what are you doing here if you two aren’t married? At breakfast?” She shook her head and rubbed her temple. Why was she still talking? “Um, I’m sorry. How long have I been asleep?”
All four of the people before her spoke at once, but only Mary Margaret’s words penetrated her brain.
“Awhile.”
“You slept forever!”
“I was worried you were dead!”
“Oh honey, we’re snowed in.”
She shook her head as she tried to comprehend Mary Margaret’s words. “Um, okay, that’s a problem, I know, but I can’t stay here. I mean, I don’t . . . that is to say . . . I’m just, um, gonna go, okay?”
She inched her way backwards towards the front door as she spoke, stumbling once over a toy lightsaber. Killian rushed forward, and that only made her dart for the door faster.
“We really are snowed in, love,” Killian insisted as she reached for the doorknob.
“Well, I’ll just walk to the nearest town, or -” her words ended abruptly as she opened the door to a wall of white. The snow was packed in hard, letting in not a trace of light, yet the snow on the threshold had melted enough to tumble inside over her feet. She let out a gasp as the cold seeped through the leather of her thin, stylish boots.
“I told you we were snowed in,” Killian told her with a lopsided grin and a sparkle in his eyes.
She sheepishly tried to kick the loose snow back outside, amazed that he wasn’t at least irritated with her. Shoving the door shut was something else entirely, and it took both of them to get it done.
Hands shaking, she made her way over to a cozy armchair angled towards the roaring fire. She stared at the flames as fear clawed at her chest. Killian came over and sat on the edge of the wide hearth, tilting his head a bit so he could look into her eyes.
“I know you’re confused and frightened, but I promise you you’re safe here. We’ve got plenty of firewood and food, even a generator if the power goes out -”
“That’s not what I’m worried about,” she whispered.
He nodded in understanding. “We’re strangers, and I can’t imagine how terrifying this all must be. I know it takes trust to believe this, but we really just want to help you and make you feel at home.”
She glanced up to see Mary Margaret perched on the arm of the chair, smiling down at her encouragingly. Alice sat down next to her father, and he put his arm around the little girl and brushed a kiss to the top of her head. Surely a man with such obvious affection for his daughter couldn’t be dangerous. Right?
The boy stood a bit shyly behind Alice and Killian, shuffling his feet a bit before stepping forward to offer her his hand. “You were passed out when you met me in the truck. I’m Henry.”
She merely nodded as she took the child’s hand, still not sure how to respond with no memory of who she was.
“That does it!” Mary Margaret exclaimed, clapping her hands together. “We have to call you something. You sure you don’t know your name?”
She scrunched her face up, thinking as hard as she could, but all she could come up with was darkness, snow, and pain. She bit her lip as she shook her head in the negative.
Mary Margaret shrugged. “So we give you a name!”
Killian narrowed his eyes at his friend. “MM, we can’t just name her like she’s our pet.”
“Why not?” Mary Margaret shot back. “Alice doesn’t have a creature in this place for more than five minutes without it having a name.”
“I have a white rabbit named Tick Tock,” Alice told her eagerly, “and a turtle named Mossy, and a frog named Prince, and two goldfish -”
“You can introduce her to your menagerie later, Starfish,” Killian chuckled as he ruffled Alice’s hair.”
“We can pick a name from one of our favorite books!” Henry exclaimed. “Alice is already taken, but what do you think of Lucy like the Narnia books?”
She wrinkled her nose.
“Fern like in Charlotte’s Web?” Alice suggested.
“Fern!” Henry exclaimed. “Seriously? Charlotte would be better!”
“Charlotte is a spider,” Alice shot back before sticking her tongue out at her brother.
“What about Wendy?” Killian asked.
“Dad’s favorite is Peter Pan,” Henry explained.
“Yeah, but he like’s Hook best, not Peter,” put in Alice.
“Hey!” Killian chuckled, poking each of his children playfully in the tummy. “Hook is just misunderstood.”
She narrowed her eyes. Wendy . . . “That name sounds familiar,” she told them softly.
Killian smiled at her. “Perhaps because it’s yours?”
“Or maybe it’s someone you know?” Mary Margaret put in helpfully.
She shook her head, frustrated. Every time she thought of the name Wendy, it was as if she were squinting into the fog, trying to make out a figure in the distance.
“I don’t know!”
“It’s okay,” Mary Margaret said gently, patting her hand, “it will come to you, I’m sure of it.”
“And we’ll get the doctor out here just as soon as the weather clears enough for the snow mobiles,” Killian added, “as well as the sheriff. I’m sure someone you love is looking for you.”
She nodded and attempted to give him a small smile.
“So, are we gonna call her Wendy or what?” Henry asked.
“Don’t be so rude!” Alice yelled.
“I’m not!”
“Get along, please,” Killian admonished, and she couldn’t help but smile at the bickering siblings and their father’s resulting exasperation.
“It’s okay,” she told them, “it will be nice to have a name, even a temporary one.”
“So . . . “ Killian prompted with arched brows.
“So, Wendy it is!”
A wide smile filled her face despite her circumstances as the four people around her cheered. If she were snowed in, there were worse places she could be. And if she had to join a temporary family, this seemed like a pretty happy one to stumble upon.
*************************************************
The strong scent of cedar filled Killian’s senses as he opened the long forgotten trunk shoved into the far reaches of his walk in closet. He closed his eyes briefly, letting the woodsy aroma wash over him. Not only would the cedar have protected the clothing inside, it would also have eradicated the scent of the former owner. He could do this.
Killian opened his eyes and looked down at the sweaters and leggings that Milah once wore. He lifted one of deep purple from the trunk and pressed it to his face. All he could smell was the cedar. Not the lingering scent of the citrusy shampoo Milah had preferred nor the hazelnut creamer she always used in her coffee. Surprisingly, it didn’t make him sad. Instead, he was relieved. Relieved that her scent no longer clung to the clothing but also relieved that he still remembered details about her. He would never be able to forget her, and the truth of that finally brought him comfort after four long years.
He rose from the floor of the closet with a pile of clothes in his arms and made his way down the hall to Alice’s bedroom. He hated that Wendy had to use his daughter’s room, but Mary Margaret was already set up in the guest room. He also hated that Alice was sharing his bed. The girl was a cuddler who hogged the bed, and Killian was simply exhausted after two nights of sleeping on the very edge of the mattress.
Killian knocked on the door, but there was no answer. However, he could hear the shower running from the jack and jill bath that Alice shared with her brother. He eased the door open, calling out that he had the clothes he had promised. There was no answer, though he did hear a voice drifting from the bathroom. The voice was singing.
Killian let the door swing open and couldn’t help stepping into the room, mesmerized by the voice. Wendy was belting out The Pretenders “Brass in Pocket” with the powerful voice of a rock star. He drew closer to the sound as if he were a sailor and she was a siren calling out to him. As he rounded the bed, however, he fumbled and dropped the clothes in his hands. Wendy had left the door to the bathroom half open, and through it he could see into the bathroom. He spun away quickly, not wanting to be a voyeur, but he wasn’t fast enough to miss the silhouette of Wendy’s figure through the frosted glass of the shower door. He fumbled again as he picked up the clothes and set them on the bed. They now looked like Henry had folded them, but he didn’t care. He rushed from the room before Wendy caught him and thought he was a peeping tom.
He shut the bedroom door quietly behind him and sagged against it, his heart pounding like a teenager. Yes, four long years. Four long years since Milah passed. Four long years since a woman had been living in this house. Killian drew in several deep breaths and ran his hand wearily down his face. He had to get a grip! Wendy needed his help. This was no time to become sexually attracted to her. She had been through something traumatic to leave her wandering injured on a remote snowy road. She had amnesia and was understandably frightened and confused.
Mentally listing all the reasons he couldn’t be attracted to her helped his blood cool considerably. Besides, he had made a vow to Milah when she was sick that he would make fatherhood his highest priority. Making sure Henry and Alice were happy and thriving left little time for anything else. Hadn’t that been made abundantly clear after that disastrous blind date he’d let Mary Margaret set him up on?
Wendy had a life somewhere to get back to, and he had his kids to think about. He wouldn’t let her sultry voice, inviting curves, or golden hair distract him from those two hard, cold facts.
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