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jaysgirlx · 2 months

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Can you do a fic based off of https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRcsG8Yu/ this TikTok when Jason and reader was talking and it got deep and he joked about off!ng himself and the reader sits with him all night just in case he wasn’t joking? Please? I love your writing so much and if this is a touchy topic feel free to ignore or correct. Have a nice day!

❝ 𝐈’𝐌 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ❞

❥ pairing: jason todd x civilian f!reader

❥ summary: Jason and you are close, you always have been so close that you thought you knew him well enough to read his mind except you're wrong about that, and what you learn ends up scaring you more.

❥ warnings: mentions of death/suicide/afterlife, reminiscing of torture, heavy angst, little fluff, happy ending

❥ wc: 1.5k

Your fingers, combed through Jason's black locks while he focused his attention on you. The two of you had moments on these where you sat together in a comfortable silence. They tended to happen when one of you was upset, usually you but tonight you could tell something was wrong with Jason. So you kept quiet and let him rest. You didn't know if late nights like these would last forever.

"How long are you going to play with my hair princess?"

"Until you tell me what's wrong Jay"

Again you both fell into a silence. This time it was awkward like maybe you should've played dumb but it was too late night to think that. Jason sighed and sat up on your couch and laid his head on your lap. You tried to remove your hand from his hair but he gave this look like this is what he needed at least for tonight.

You weren't sure if or when you and Jason had crossed the friend boundary. The two of you obviously had not slept together but you had kissed numerous times. Sometimes when he was anxious you'd kiss him just to calm him down and it worked, except for the fact you'd end up making out. Or when he would go on patrol and you were worried he would kiss you and then he'd end up cuddling you till you slept off. The kisses you both shared were like little reassurances of love. Though the two of you never actually spoke about what they really meant.

You had wanted to for the longest time but you didn't because in the end you always knew that Jason cared for you. You could tell by the way he always left you breakfast when he had to leave while you were asleep or by the way he'd walk you home if you had decided to work overtime. Jason cared in his own little way and you take what you got especially since he made the best pancakes.

"I fought with Bruce today, he took Dick's side on something and I just got mad…I know they both care, but it doesn't feel like it sometimes y'know? It still feels like they're Batman and Nightwing and I'm still Robin" He stopped himself from speaking further like if he spoke more, he'd say something he'd regret. Jason didn't want to drop all his problems on you because he knew you would listen and he knew you'd comfort him. You did so much for him and was slightly worried he was becoming too much. Jason didn't want to become a burden to you, he enjoyed spending time with you and he didn't wan to fuck that up.

"I've always got your side Jay if that helps and you're not Robin anymore okay and regardless of that, Robin didn't make you…well you" you say, caressing his face. "You're just you Jay and if they've got a problem with you well then they have a problem with me"

"Well, I think I hate myself if I'm being honest" Those words made your hands stop and now you started to really listen. You knew Jason wasn't exactly happy with his life but you didn't think he hated himself. He was so cocky all the time that you couldn't even fathom the idea of him hating himself. "These days getting up in the mornings is so difficult and a good night's rest…I don't remember the last time I had one"

"Well I think we all can relate to that, life kinda sucks for all of us Jay. Everything we do is out of our hands and it seems like no matter how hard we try we're never fully just happy"

"You got that right, the last time I was really happy was…well nevermind, But sometimes I think about killing myself"

"Well I mean we all have, I thought about it a couple of times when work gets hard but-

"No y/n, I mean like really killing myself, like just putting my gun to my head and that's it." He laughs but you still don't manage to find it funny. "I know damn well there will be plenty of people who will probably find it pretty, my brains splattered everywhere and my body lifeless"

"I'd really prefer you'd not do that Jay"

"Okay but in all seriousness-"

"I don't want to hear this Jay"

"I'd want you to plan my funeral, you'd make it beautiful and hopefully not gloomy"

"Jay is this a funny matter, stop joking around"

"I doubt there's an afterlife, seeing that I did die once and I don't remember any floating gates or firey pits"

"Jay please stop it"

"C'mon we both know without you, I'd be better off-"

"No." you said and it came out broken. Jason looked up at you, you weren't playing with his hair anymore, you were crying. He tried to reach up and your tears away but you pushed away his hand. He hadn't meant to upset you, he didn't mean it. Well, he did but he wasn't going to, not when you still cared for him. You were what he was living for. "No, you can't do that Jay"

He again tries to wipe your tears and this time you let him, he sits up and kisses your forehead wishing he had never said anything. You were his world and all he could ever ask for. Without you, who would be there for him after a bad run on patrol? or when his nightmares would start coming back? Deep down Jason Todd is scared of living, he's scared of living without you. "I won't sweetheart, I won't, I promise. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said any of that"

Now he's holding you and rubbing your back, whispering sweet nothings into your ear. The two of you fell back into your comfortable silence, while Jason made himself comfortable again laying his head on your lap. He hates seeing you that way, with that look of fear and worry. He never wanted to cause it. He wanted to say something but all those hours of patrol and working overtime finally caught up to him. He thought he'd just take a nap, he didn't want to burden you with how heavy he was, lying on his lap but he couldn't help you, your lap was so comfy.

For a while, you watched Jason and didn't know why you were. He said he wouldn't hurt himself, he promised. Still, you were scared because of the way he talked about it...it was clear it wasn't the first time. You knew he had fallen asleep, his tell was that his breathing had slowed. You picked that up when he started coming over early in that morning to nap with you. Jason was only ever truly calm when was he asleep with you.

Watching him like this felt natural like you had to do this. You knew he was serious about killing himself and you just couldn't imagine a life with him, without Jason. Gently you caressed his sleeping face, admiring how handsome he was. The things that happened to him, you knew they affected him but you didn't want to think he'd go as far as to…no you couldn't think of it.

You leaned your own body back on the couch and tried to relax. You'd stay all night with him if you had to, you'd make sure he was safe. You weekend a vigilante like him, you couldn't fight and protect him from villains but you could protect him from himself. It probably seems crazy that you want to protect Jason Todd from himself but it's all you know how to do. You're not completely sure if Jason loves you but you know that you love him.

"I will always be with you, I'm yours Jay, I'm with you" you whisper sweetly against his forehead, before planting a soft kiss. You watch him all night and he sleeps quietly and hopefully comfortably with his head resting on your lap. You didn't work the next day and you had stayed up all night before, this wouldn't be difficult for you.

Even if it was, it was for Jason and he was always worth any trouble. You wish you could tell him that but that's a conversation for another time, for now, you just want to make sure he is still alive every morning.

When Jason Todd wakes up the following morning, you're drinking what he thinks is probably coffee and reading a book. His eyes fixate on you and he reaches up to brush his hand against your face, you smile at the soft touch. HE lets out a yawn and finally speaks up, "Whatcha doing up so early, princess?"

"Just admiring you Jay"

"M'sorry for sleeping on you, and I'm even more sorry for making you feel upset last night, you're…you're very important to me y/n, and as long as you'll have me, I'll be here"

"And I'm with you, for as long as you'll have me" you say with a smile as you hand him the rest of your coffee. He drank the rest before gently pressing a kiss to your lips. Another reassure of his love

Jason Todd was yours for a lifetime and you were happy with just that.

❥ a/n: sorry this took so long anon! I kept rewriting it because I didn't like how it was going. btw comment to be added to my taglist.

❥ taglist: @meowkn, @nia-jul, @woodenanemone, @millyhelp, @yourlocalcringydaydreamer, @kazzattack, @orchidsangel, @gleasonlovesjasontodd, @jason-anon

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astrosouldivinity · 4 months

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Venus Sign Observations: 💞🤎💞

Mutable Venus Edition: ♾️

Pisces Venus: 🌊

🌊 Pisces Venus is open-minded when it comes to various love styles, which can be attributed to their mutable water nature. They possess a remarkable ability to offer unconditional love to virtually everyone they come across.

🌊 In intimate relationships, they enjoy pleasing their partners and don’t mind adapting to their partners love style/needs especially if that would make them happy.

🌊 Venus in Pisces can get obsessed with their partner too high-key. They are flighty but obsessed at the same time which can be confusing for their partner. However, I think their love can be pretty intense in general.

🌊 As loving as Pisces Venus are, I think it’s lowkey a f-boy/girl placement. They have a tendency to fall in love quickly, but they can also move on just as swiftly. However, the process of moving on can sometimes take a considerable amount of time for them as well. Their emotions can be chaotic, leading them to appear flighty in their relationships.

🌊 Pisces Venus doesn’t always want to be floating around in love. They yearn for a secure and comforting space to calm their emotional waves. Essentially, they desire a safe haven where they can find solace and relaxation in their relationships.

🌊 Venus in Pisces will love all of you even the darkness that is kept tucked away. It truly doesn’t scare them. So long as you keep up with their fantasy, don’t take advantage of them, and hurt them too many times to the point where they can’t forgive you, they aren’t going anywhere.

🌊 Venus in Pisces tend to be open-minded when it comes to relationships, they may even be open to polyamory, but they are not opposed to monogamy either. Their preference for one or the other depends on their other placements. For example, as a Pisces Venus myself, I am capable of being loyal when the situation calls for it. This ability to navigate both relationship styles can be attributed to my Taurus Sun/Mars placements, which provide stability and a sense of commitment.

🌊 Having a Gemini Moon further enhances my openness to explore different relationship dynamics. However, I will only participate in them if I am with a partner who is mature about it. I’ve been with people before that were non-monogamous but didn’t like it when I was the same way. Like, babe, I'm simply matching your energy.

Sagittarius Venus: 🏹

🏹 Sagittarius Venus is open-minded when it comes to choosing a partner. In fact, they are more likely to have a partner from a foreign country or a different cultural background. However, they do have a fear of commitment. Which often leads them to explore various relationship dynamics, as they value their freedom and independence.

🏹 In their intimate relationships, Venus in Sagittarius likes to maintain an easy-going nature. They prefer to let things unfold naturally and avoid rushing into anything. Clinginess is not well-received by them, as it gives them a sense of discomfort when their freedom is suffocated or suppressed.

🏹 They may be more inclined to explore relationship dynamics such as ethical non-monogamy or open relationships. Their love for diverse experiences extends to their romantic life, and they may find fulfillment in connecting with many different individuals.

🏹 Venus in Sagittarius’s adventurous nature and desire for new encounters can make them more open to exploring non-traditional relationship structures that allow for multiple connections.

🏹 While Sagittarius Venus have a tendency to value their freedom, they are still capable of committing to a relationship. However, it requires finding the right person. Like someone who shares their open-mindedness and free-spirited nature. They need someone who won’t restrict them.

Gemini Venus: 🦋

🦋 Gemini Venus are adaptable with their approach to love. They will adjust their mindset and actions when it comes to matters of the heart. While they may appear flighty and free-spirited in their romantic endeavors, once they make a decision to commit to a partner, they are decisive and fully dedicated.

🦋 Gemini Venus are witty and possess a great sense of humor. They enjoy playful banter and need someone who can match their energy and make them laugh overall.

🦋 Venus in Gemini values intellectual stimulation in their relationships. They seek a partner who is not only intelligent but also intriguing and captivating. They desire someone who can engage in meaningful conversations and challenge their thoughts and beliefs. The ability to broaden their perspectives is essential for them, as they thrive on continuous learning and growth.

🦋 They appreciate partners who are open to new ideas, experiences, and perspectives. Gemini Venus enjoys exploring different viewpoints and needs a partner who can also embrace diversity and adapt to new situations.

🦋 They are attracted to partners who can strike a balance between nurturing the connection and allowing each other to flourish as individuals.

🦋 Venus in Gemini values their independence and needs a partner who will respect and appreciate this aspect of their personality. It is important for them to be with someone who has their own interests and hobbies, as they believe in the importance of maintaining individuality within a relationship.

Virgo Venus: 🍃

🍃 Virgo Venus tends to approach love and relationships with a practical and analytical mindset. They value stability and reliability in their partnerships, seeking a strong foundation based on trust and mutual support.

🍃 They often have high standards in their intimate relationships, but it stems from their desire to see their partner reach their highest potential. They genuinely want their loved ones to be the best version of themselves.

🍃 In their intimate relationships, Venus in Virgo values self-improvement and personal growth. They always strive to become better versions of themselves and expect the same from their partners.

🍃 Intellectual stimulation and engaging conversations are important to Virgo Venus, as they enjoy exchanging ideas and learning overall.

🍃 Venus in Virgo has a strong desire to fix and save others, driven by their compassionate aura. However, their giving and selfless nature can make them vulnerable to being taken advantage of by others.

🍃 In their intimate relationships, they prioritize finding someone who fits seamlessly into their lifestyle and meets their high standards. However, if they genuinely love someone, they are willing to be more flexible and make compromises.

🍃 Virgo Venus values cleanliness, organization, and orderliness in their surroundings, and this preference often extends to their relationships as well. They appreciate partners who are responsible, hardworking, and self-sufficient.

🍃 Open-minded when it comes to different love styles. They are willing to try anything once, especially if it makes their partner happy. Open relationships could be a possibility for them, especially if they have other mutable placements.

AstroSoulDivinity on TikTok

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xuchiya · 2 months

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need to know [j.yunho]

₊˚.༄ || filth valentines m.list || hongjoong || seonghwa || yunho || yeosang || san || mingi || wooyoung || jongho || ₊˚.༄

₊˚.༄ I heard from a friend of a friend That dick was a ten out of ten ₊˚.༄

Yunho has been busy lately and you were not liking one bit of it. It has been weeks since you wanted to hang out with him and considering that he had been rejecting your invites; maybe it is time to spend some days without and let yourselves be on your own stories.

You can't blame Yunho for taking responsibility for his father's company so why would be a bad friend to him?

You dress up in less clothing for your stream much less by a short crop hoodie that shows a little of your cleavage then your tiny boxer shorts. A streamer of summer, that was your nickname given by your fans— Summer. You have always been a streamer for playing horror whether be a psychological or thrill chasing games, maybe sometimes by playing valorant.

You were at first called out for dressing way too– short nonetheless you explain that you tend to be really comfortable with playing in less clothing and people see your excellence in playing. You throw on anti-rad glasses before starting your stream, “What is up my dudes! It’s your streamer– Summer and we’ll continue playing Poppy Playtime!”

While waiting for the game to load, you read the comments, “Looking good as always … Thank you … Playing alone today? Yeah since they didn’t want to play this one. San is too scared … Where’s Yunho? Oh he’s currently busy— he’s been busy nowadays so I had to play this alone. “

After the chapter ended, you were left with a heart attack and sore throat from getting sudden jump scare but overall you enjoy the whole game, you look towards at the camera, “Well that is it for the chapter 2 since the chapter 3 will be out soon and …” glancing at the time to see that you have been playing for just an hour, “aye it’s still early. Do you guys want me to play or just talk with you guys?”

Some comments were saying to talk since it has been a while since you went live so you went with their request, “Okay okay I’ll answer some questions then …”

“Since when did I start playing? I think it was around 3 years ago that I started streaming through the gameplays? I was 14 when I started doing my gameplays …”

“You dance? Of course, Yeosang and Wooyoung are actually my classmates in a studio we enrolled in.”

“Where’s Yunho? Oh he’s at work, I’m little sad he has not been spending time with me like … Tell me your schedule, I got a lotta new tricks for you .. I’M KIDDING HAHAHA!”

“Do you like Doja Cat? Yes, a hundred percent yes, I’m a huge fan of hers speaking of that …” You opened your phone to show them your last song you listened to, “I swear this is my go to song when I’m feeling myself you know…” You chuckle showing them a hand gesture down to our body. Some of your fans ask you to play the song, some of them want you to sing or mouth the lyrics, you cackle at the last one.

“I can’t do that, it looks weird but we can still let this play and talk …” The music plays—affecting not only your fans, not you who is feeling the actual lyrics but the one who has been watching from their phone ever since you started streaming.

“Do you want to know a french word? Je suis excite.. Je suis excite, that means I’m excited right? Excite probably is exciting .. Am I right?” you said your eyes were widened a little bit, looking at the comment section for confirmation and you see some were saying yes, right and correct.

But little did you know, it meant something different else.

Their pants had made themselves quite uncomfortable, tight and suffocating as their eyes not only stare at your gameplay but at your display cleavage. As much as they tried to not to look like a pervert but how could he— He has desires that he tried to stir away; afraid to ruin your friendship but with you said those words as if telling him that you are horny. Adding to the fact you just said something along the line of having ‘tricks’.

“Ohmygosh I should go to sleep or Seonghwa-oppa would smack me in the head … I’ll see you guys soon.” You did your outro and the live ended.

Yunho tucked back his phone, walking inside your shared apartment. He and you were able to share an apartment under your brother’s permission since they both work for the same company and he did not mind as long as you both had an agreement or house rules settled.

Those words were a huge trigger to him as he had been evading your presence; as much as dumb it sounds, his dick can not cooperate with him. Whether you were in your hoodie or favourite pajamas, nothing beats when he wants you all for himself. Love you, praise you, worship you, choke you, dick you down—

“Oh yuyu!” You were startled when you exit your room to see Yunho leaning on the counter with a cold drink in his hand, his eyes landing on your figure and all his last string snap when you just walk in with your zipper open, exposing your tits out.

You tried to cover them last minute but Yunho was faster, grabbing your wrist, spinning you to pin you on his chest. He leaned down, voice gruff from the pain in his pants and overwhelming horniness spilling out of his body, “nice way to greet me … tits out? Do you walk around with this …” his other free hand ran up to your chest, playing with your nipple and giving it a squeeze, making you moan a little too loud but to Yunho's liking.

“I-I thought you won’t be home … fuck! “ Yunho breathy laugh, giving your other boob the same treatment but this time adding a slap on it, your back arching in the pain and pleasure making your ass brush up on his hard dick in his pants.

“Feel that? you’re the cause of it … now be a good girl for me and choke yourself on my cock.”

“F-fuck! … Yunho– Oh my God!” your face was red and sweaty from how many hours Yunho had you pinned down on your bed, taking you from behind; had his dick ramming himself back and forth, hitting every inch of your walls then his tip knocking at your cervix several times as if trying to reach a deeper part of you to bury his cum.

“You don’t know how long i wanted to fuck you so dumb that it makes me want to go faster and harder on you .. do you like that? Do you want me to keep hammering you down on this bed like a bitch on heat?” You never knew Yunho was into this kind of thing, rough and mouthy.

You were crying out of pleasure as Yunho drilled his cock deeper and deeper until you clench around him that had him smacking his (veiny) hands on your ass, “Yu-Yunho— eugh fuck– I’m gonna cum, gonna cum– !” Yunho continues slamming his hips as your eyes roll back as you reach your orgasm, creaming his dick and milking him dry. Yunho chuckles, wrapping one of his hands around your throat, pulling you closer, bottomless.

“You like that huh? You like it when I fuck you this hard?” You dive on the sheets, Yunho's pace persistent in making his dick wet and creamy on your puffy pussy. You look over your shoulders, engulfed in overwhelming bliss, you speak with assertive tone, “clap me, choke me, bite me Yunho.”

Yunho pulls out, leaving just the tip inside as he adjust his grip from your throat down to your hips, in spite of that he shoves back while you pulling back, “FUCK!” you cried, your fingers circling around his wrist, “Yu-yu — wait you’re going too fast.”

He shakes his head, his eyebrows arching, tongue poking the inside of his cheek, “I haven’t cum yet and we can fuck all night baby.” He keep thrusting back and forth,leaning forward to grasp both of your nipples in his fingers, twisting, pulling them.

Your head swirling with so much euphoria that it sent electricity vibrating down your pussy as you were reaching your second orgasm quickly, this time a little different from the last one, long strings of ‘oh’ and ‘fuck’.

“Tell me baby, i need to know one thing …” He licks his lips, pressing you on his bare chest, continue to pound inside of you, almost nearing his climax, “come on baby, i didn’t fuck you that dumb did i? Now answer me.”

You were breathing hastily, orgasm around the corner but you know best that if you don’t speak now, Yunho won’t let you cum, “Wh-What is it?”

“Have you been fantasising about this one? Did someone tell you?” You nodded, your head moving swiftly, you felt his chest vibrate as he breathy laughs, “Yeah?

“ y-yes…”

“From who?”

Your throat clogged yet you oblique, moaning when his tip brushes on your cervix once again, your dignity slowly crashing but who could you blame? You were fantasising all of this for the longest time that you slipped out to one of your friends about your huge daydream to Yunho that one of your friends may or may not slip about him.

“I heard .. I heard from a friend of a friend … that your dick is better than their exes.” His hip halted, pulling out— groaning at the emptiness but you were taken back when Yunho pulled you off the bed and towards your balcony; your eyes widened as he pushes you the makeshift knitted lounge chair.

“Well one …” yunho’s lips brush on your ears warmly, “I have never met your friends …” He inserted himself back in, slamming back on your pussy, “And second well .. they’re not wrong.”

Yunho pace didn’t falter as he locked his arms on yours, your arms pulled on your back; your chest full on display, bouncing each time Yunho hammered back. Broken groans left Yunho and you were also reaching your climax, “Fuck yunho!”

“Take my cum like a good girl!” Your eyes were clouded in euphoria, feeling full as he spurted all his cum inside you, painting your walls white. Your hole clenches on his dick before gushes of your juice burst, wetting his dick and the lounge chair.

Yunho let go of your arms and replace his softening dick with his fingers, brushing them left and right as you squirt, your lips puckering

“Oh look at that, such a good girl. Keep squirting baby~” Yunho slaps, wipe your pussy letting you ride on your orgasm before he pulls away. Your knees gave out, thankfully Yunho caught you, wrapping his arms around your shoulder and at the back of your knees. He leads you both to your bathroom, setting you on the cold marble tile of your sink.

Yunho settles you on the bathtub, warm water with bubbles of rose were floating on the water. You sigh contentedly, “Is this what I get for flashing you my boobs to you?”

He laughs, shaking his head as he settles at the other end of the tub, “You want a princess treatment?” His eyes watch you carefully, cheek flaring. You played with the foam bubbles, “If you don’t mind me being your girlfriend then yeah, I want a princess treatment.”

Yunho leans towards you, leaving a soft kiss on your lips, "Deal."

It was something you and Yunho had in common. Straightforwardness. Yet here you both are, in a situation you thought is just all in your head and fantasy.

#ateez x reader #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez hard thoughts #ateez smut #ateez hard hours #ateez fic #atz #jeong yunho #ateez jeong yunho #yunho smut #ateez yunho #yunho #yunho x reader #ateez #ateez fanfic #atz smut

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hunnylagoon · 3 months

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Right Where You Left Me

Pt 4: The Sweetest Thing to Ever Scare You (Finale)

Ellie Williams x reader

I remember when I first saw you. I remember looking into your warm almond eyes and feeling butterflies in my stomach. But soon, when I looked into your eyes, I no longer felt the same warmth that I once knew. It felt as though you had killed all of the butterflies inside my stomach but yet, I still loved you.

Premise: You and Ellie are childhood best friends until you drift apart. Funny thing about soulmates is they tend to find their way back to each other. You and Ellie try to end the tireless war between you.

Warnings: Angst / drinking / violence / not really religious mentions in this one

Part one here!

Part two here!

Part three over here!

Guys I thought I posted this two days ago but I actually just saved it to drafts. Sorry for being an idiot lmao

I think that I have unlearned how to love.

That’s not even a word but there is no other way to tell you that I have turned myself cold.

Without partying to distract me and religion to fill in gaps of emptiness, I isolate myself and begin to write once again. I'm almost certain that my body has been telling me to write, that I need to pour myself into art as opposed to a girl I was friends with a million years ago.

I figure that I need to create rather than destroy but it might take me a while to do so.

The morning after I abandoned my faith on the church floor, I had woken up and expected Ellie to be gone, however, she was wide awake and playing subway surfers on her phone. Her hair is messy and her eyes are half-lidded.

She turns to look at me when she feels the shuffling of the bedsheets; despite her doing nothing more than smile at me it is like an understanding passed between us, war is over.

Almost.

It's like I've forgotten how to be soft, I can't manage to get the words out that I need to, and the thought of it alone makes me cringe. "Breakfast?" I ask, unsure of what else to say.

Ellie passes on it and I awkwardly excuse myself, saying that I got called in to take a brunch shift at work. Of course, this is not true. What I do is get into my car and drive and drive until I get mad at myself for burning gas.

The war between Ellie and I had ended but it didn't register in my head, I almost fell in love with it. Without the constant arguing and passive aggressiveness, there was nothing to put a wall between us and I wasn't ready to be vulnerable again.

So I begin to feed Ellie the ugliest parts of me; I show her everything I'm sure she will hate but she doesn't, she's patient and shows me the kindness I have been looking everywhere for. Still, I am cold to her, I don't know what else to do.

I try to push her away all over again but this time, she doesn't let me. Ellie comes into my room when I'm studying to sit on my bed so that she can be in proximity to me. Sometimes she'll ask me if I want to go for a walk or a late-night gas station run, all of the things we used to do.

When I'm angry at her, she lets it happen, she won't escalate the fight all she does is apologize and does what she can to fix it. Everything feels like it's in order again, Joel even starts to send me little text messages to check in on me and sends me Facebook memes that make him think of me.

As of now, we are setting up for Dina's twenty-first birthday. The living room, typically a space for casual gatherings and movie nights, had undergone a transformation. Vibrant streamers adorned the walls, and an array of balloons in assorted hues scattered themselves along the floor "Are balloons too childish?" Abby asks as she walks out of her bedroom.

"They better not be after I just spent half an hour doing all of these," Cat answers, giving her a scornful glare.

"They look great, Cat," I smile and give her a thumbs-up from where I am in the kitchen dumping bags of chips into bowls. "Should I make a veggie platter?"

Cat furrows her eyebrows "If you can finish it by yourself, sure."

"Cat, we aren't children, adults eat vegetables," Abby takes a seat on the couch behind Cat, investigating the hard work she's put into making the living room look nice for just one night "Isn't it weird that Dina is organizing her own surprise party?"

I shrug, placing a wooden cutting board down on the kitchen counter "I don't blame her, I don't think we've always been one hundred percent reliable, me specifically."

"But it's not a surprise if she knows about it."

"So?" Cat asks.

"So why are we calling it a surprise party if it isn't a surprise?"

"Why not?"

"Well, why can't we just call it a party?"

"I don't think it matters," I cut in, I begin to peel carrots and slice them up into quarters. Ellie comes out of her bedroom, she took a nap after completing her physics presentation, her hair in a messy bun, and she's in her typical pyjama uniform of sweats and a hoodie. "Hey, Ellie," I smile at her.

She rubs some sleep away from her green eyes "Hey," Ellie walks over to the kitchen island where I slice and chop vegetables and sits right in front of me. Even half asleep she looks like a statue of marble carved by a skilled hand.

Abby raises an eyebrow, asking 'When did you guys become friends?' without saying it and then it hits me like the plane in Lost. Ellie still hasn't told anyone about our history, our sixteen years of friendship is invisible to the eyes of those who think they know us well.

I'm broken from my thoughts when Abby speaks up "When are you picking up the cake?"

My heart drops "I'm not?"

Cat and Abby cast one another side glances while Ellie snatches a cucumber off my cutting board "Dina was handing out duties and you said you would take care of the cake."

I freeze, unsure of what to say "Nuh-uh." I shake my head like a child denying blame for breaking her mother's favourite dish.

"Yuh-huh," Cat shoots back. "How could you forget that?"

My mind fumbles for an excuse and somehow I land on "I forgot because I went temporarily insane from Lyme disease," What am I saying? "I got Lyme disease because I go camping in secret," I don't camp "And I never told you guys that I go camping because I'm deeply ashamed of it."

Now everyone looks perpetually confused, Ellie included "What are you talking about?" Abby asks, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Okay-well," I place my knife flat on the counter by the wooden cutting board, ignoring the odd spiel I just went on "I'm going to drive to-

"You dropped your car off for a suspension repair yesterday," Abby reminds me.

"Ellie is going to drive me to get a cake," I correct myself "I will be back to finish making my veggie plate." I quickly rinse my hands before grabbing Ellie's keys from the little jewelry dish on the island and yank the sleeve of her hoodie to pull her along.

Ellie doesn't say anything, she slips into some Crocs and we walk outside to her car. "Where are we headed?"

"Uh, hang on," In Ellie's passenger seat, I go on Google Maps to look up the closest bakeries that are still open at this hour, there are two, one a couple of streets away and the other one is across town and closing in twenty minutes. "Infectious Confections," I wrinkle my nose "That's a weird fucking name."

While Ellie tries to make conversation in the car I only speak when giving her directions to the bakery. She knows something is up and I can tell by the way she keeps glancing at me. I just can't manage to get it out of my head that she's still keeping me a secret.

She pulls up to the bakery and I get out before she even turns her car off, she pulls the keys out of the ignition and trails behind me through the doors.

The bakery itself was rustic and clean, there were two display cases and tills one of the displays held danishes, croissants, cookies, scones and whatever those little swirly flakey things are called. The other display had a big chalk menu above it that read 'Cakery' Though what was in the display case was very sparse.

"Hi," I walk up to the till, putting on the friendly smile and customer service voice that I usually only use at work. "This is pretty short notice but I was wondering if you had any cakes left or if I could get one made for today?"

The guy behind the counter is a scrawny teenager who looks like he has had a long enough day of dealing with annoying customers "We close in half an hour, there's not enough time to bake and decorate a cake." He explains it like he's said this to a million people, he's bored of the same phrases that his manager has scripted out for him.

"Any shot that someone didn't pick up their cake?" I ask, fingers crossed in the hope that he says yes.

"Let me talk to my manager," His voice drags on, and he turns around and disappears through a commercial kitchen door. I wait patiently, hands balled together in front of me as I rock back and forth on my heels. A minute or two later he comes back holding a bright blue cake with pink detailing of bows and mustaches, there's text on it that reads 'It's a...' gender reveal cake. "This is all we have left, they cancelled last minute.

I look back at Ellie to get her opinion, her eyebrows are furrowed slightly "Maybe we good just get some of those cupcakes and smush them together and smear the icing so it looks like a cake."

I wave her off "I'll buy it," I say this only because it is 5:41 and with each passing minute I am growing desperate, also I don't want Jesse to be disappointed that I fumbled the cake and ruined his girlfriend's birthday.

Angsty teenager puts the bright blue monstrosity into a cake box and charges me an absurd total for it, I bitterly tap my card on the machine.

As I walk back out to Ellie's car I take a brief moment to look at the sky, it's the same hue as cotton candy and looks as if it had been projected from a watercolour painting, even after I get back into the car and Ellie begins to blast her old dad rock songs, I can't tear my eyes away from it.

After five minutes of silence from my end, Ellie finally asks the question that's been burning into the forefront of her brain "Why are you being weird?"

"Why haven't you told anyone that we met before we moved in together?"

Her dark eyebrows furrow "You haven't told anyone either-

"Yes, I have."

"Who?"

"Yara, Stacy, Kayla, Mitch, Nigel, Carmen, literally everyone from my work," I admit "I just haven't told people who know you personally so it can't make its way back to you because you clearly don't want people to know."

She falls silent, searching her mind for the right words. She clutches the steering wheel tight and looks dead ahead at the car's bumper-to-bumper ahead of us. "I just know how to slip it into conversation."

"I don't think it's that hard, you can just say that we were friends, you don't need to give an intricate play-by-play of everything that happened."

"Why is it important that people know if we're cool again?"

I turn my head to slowly look at her "You are the one who always said 'If we don't have honesty, we have nothing at all'," I point out.

Silence strings between us again, I almost want to throw up.

'We're cool again' Nope, not anymore, we are so very far from cool. Instead of Ellie casting me little glances as she had on the ride there, she ignores my presence almost completely while I glare daggers at her. Was she embarrassed by me? When we went to lunch together why did she lie to Dina about where she was? When she slept in my bed why did Cat ask me if I knew why Ellie came home at eight AM with nothing, not even a key? Did she crawl through my bedroom window to walk around to the front door and pretend she was just getting home?

AND WHY DIDN'T I CALL HER OUT?

She was keeping me a secret and that realization hurt worse than any injury I had ever suffered. She hasn't even told her dead who practically raised me that we lived together.

God, we weren't even anything and she was keeping me under wraps like I was some disgraceful secret that she would get shamed for holding. The very second she approached our house, I got out of her car, she hadn't even stopped it completely but cake in hand, I hopped out of her car door and didn't look back.

I think I've had my fair share of partying.

After that month-long bender I had where I went to clubs every night and replaced food with vodka, I never wanted to even look at another solo cup full of liquor. Instead of drinking, smoking, or doing karaoke, I hide from Ellie.

I hide from her in conversations and sometimes sneak into my bedroom just to get a bit of breathing room from all of the strangers in my house. Wherever Ellie was, I was not. If she was outside, I was inside, if she was in the living room, I was in the kitchen enjoying my veggie platter.

Have you ever been the only sober person around in a group of people? If the answer is no, have you ever babysat a houseful of toddlers? Because it's just about the same thing.

When I'm not hiding from the girl who wriggled her way back into my good graces just to trip herself off the podium, I'm cleaning up, protecting our furniture, holding back hair as girls I've never met sob into the toilet, and stopping the drunk from doing stupid things.

"Hey, buddy," I take my can of hairspray that this frat-adjacent man is holding behind an ignited lighter "I don't think you would look good as a burn victim," His friends moan in disappointment as I do so, they were very excited to see a makeshift flamethrower; I wasn't in the mood to have my house burn down, or have a guy with peach fuzz waste my thirty dollar hair spray.

Thirty dollars?

Note to self for later: Make smarter spending choices (And smarter relationship choices!).

I felt a tap on my shoulder only to turn around and see Dina, she wasn't drunk, just tipsy "Smile!" She holds up a camera to her eye and clicks the shudder button before I even have a chance to react the flash goes off. A large Polaroid begins to print out, Dina snatches it and shakes it until you can see my silhouette, my eyes are wide, my hair flying behind me from the quick turn of my head and I'm holding a can of hairspray angled to look like I'm going to spray the camera with it "Cute!" She smiles, tucking it into her pocket for later "Wait, I want a group picture of the roommates."

Dina takes my hand and pulls me to one of the couches where Ellie and Abby sit with some guy, she shoes him to get up and drags Cat over to replace him, she stands me in between Ellie and Abby and lightly pushes me down to sit wedged between the two.

"Jesse, please do not do me dirty with this picture," She hands the pink Polaroid camera to her boyfriend and quickly ushers herself to the far left of the couch where she bends over to kiss Cat on the cheek for the picture. Ellie and I are stiff and awkward when the flash goes off.

After the picture is taken, Ellue turns to face me just the slightest "Hey, I think we should talk-

"I think it's time for cake!" I push myself off the couch and usher myself to the kitchen.

I pull the cake out of the fridge, looking at what I had done to salvage it; Below the part that said 'It's a...' I wrote '21 year old!' in chocolate pre-made Betty Crocker icing that I had in the fridge for months, it didn't look the best, but it could've been worse.

Dina, of course, cackles when she sees it. To her, it is the funniest thing she's seen all night. I stick the candles in and light it with the light I confiscated from peach fuzz frat boy and push the cake towards Dina after tucking the light back into my pocket, she is illuminated in the glow of iPhone flash all filming her.

"Make a wish!"

Age Sixteen- Grade 11

I think back to how embarrassing it felt to be thoughtful.

How fragile I felt when I would share my feelings and how frail I seem when I do it now. Ellie was always tougher than I was, in rugby, in fights, just in general. That's why I figured she would be taking it better than me when I cut contact, once again I have been proven wrong.

"Conner, can we please just leave?" I pleaded with my then-boyfriend. The night had started fine but after a couple of drinks Ellie and I were becoming increasingly hostile to one another, it wasn't my intention to speak to her but the universe forced my hand when we were shoved into a circle of our friends and made to converse around the bonfire at the beach.

The salty breeze carried the sounds of laughter and the gentle crashing of waves, the scent of roasted marshmallows wafted through the air.

"What, you need your boyfriend's permission or something?" Ellie held a can of berry blast Smirnoff, staring into my soul from the other side of the fire, the sparks glitter through the night like fireflies. Her words don't feel too bad but they don't feel too good either.

I cast her a glare before I looked back to my boyfriend "Please?"

He is getting perpetually annoyed with me he shrugs away from my grasp, "Fuck off, we just got here," He mutters, Conner must think I couldn't hear it. He had already downed three Bud lights and a couple of shots of cheap vodka, now he is nursing another beer in hand.

"Excuse me?" I say, narrowing my eyes. Everyone around the fire pauses their conversation to tune into mine. "Come on," I stand up and try to pull him along so we can have a conversation away from the prying eyes of our friends.

I can't pull the mass of the 6'2 quarterback along with me but he obliges and follows me where I yank him. As I drag him along the rest of the group giggle and makes jokes along the lines of 'Trouble in paradise' but Ellie is the only one who doesn't jump back into mindless conversation, her unnerving eyes are still on me while I chew my boyfriend out by the shoreline.

"Why do I have to leave just because you're feeling a little bummed out?"

I'm almost floored at out someone can lack so much empathy "Because you're my boyfriend?" I can feel myself tensing up.

"Why does that mean you can't get up and leave on your own?" He defends "You begged me to come here and now I just wanna down a couple of beers and hang out with my friends."

"You've already drank like twenty!" I retort.

"It's a fucking party!" Conner says, raising his voice "It's a party and it's summer and you're seriously trying to tell me not to have fun?"

"Fuck!" I shout in frustration "Why don't you ever call me? Why can't you ever let me in?" The argument is quickly escalating "Why didn't you tell me that you kissed Tamar and why haven't you told me that you love me?"

"Because I don't."

My words fail me. I knew he didn't, I knew that he hardly even liked me. My dad had thought so highly of him, she said he was the type of guy to rescue a baby from a burning building but as I look at him now, I figure that he eats babies.

I almost open my mouth to say something different, almost, but I don't. The rest of my life might have turned out differently if I didn't, I might've been able to salvage the rotting corpse of my relationship with Ellie but I didn't. "Fine," I say, voice calm and quiet "Let's stay."

Before that night I had never really gotten drunk but the second I got back to the bonfire, I was digging through the cooler and shotgunning canned Smirnoff. "Woah," Riley laughs "Someone's finally being a bad influence."

I got myself so shit-faced that when everyone else got up to dance to the music blaring through the Bluetooth speaker, I sat by myself at the shoreline, looking bitterly out towards to ocean while the tides crash at my feet and get sucked back into the ocean. For a moment I think about jumping in and letting my lax body get washed away and sink beneath the surface until I wash up as a water-bloated corpse that some nine-year-old will find when they're beach combing.

My mouth tastes like peroxide and blood, my lungs burn with a red-hot pain. The wind is becoming increasingly harsh and I ignore the hair that is tangled into my golden hoop earrings.

"Wow, you look awful," I don't need to turn around to know who it is.

"Can you just fuck off?" I say "I don't give a shit about you, just leave me alone."

She always had to antagonize me, Ellie went out of her way to stray from the group and bother me. It had something to do with the alcohol in her system. Despite her alleged hatred for me, she takes a seat next to me regardless.

"Fuck, you're so sensitive," She scoffs "I don't know why you're dating him, I'm not even sure why you'd want to fuck him unless you're too lazy to jerk off-

My hands think before my head and I deck Ellie right in the side of her face, getting a solid hit to her cheekbone. My hand flies over my mouth "I'm sorry, I-

Ellie doesn't waste any time in lunging back at me, she pushes me down by my shoulders until my back is in the shallow of the water that moments ago just splashed at my feet and takes a swing. The impact of her punch almost knocks me sober.

I take a sharp inhale, grabbing her elbows and pulling her down to where she was the one on her back and I was the one straddling her. I land one last blow to her nose, I hear a crunch and the panic immediately sends me scrambling to my feet. My eyes go wide at the blood dripping down, her face I turn to run but Ellie is faster, she grabs me by my hair and yanks me down further into the water with her.

"Fucking cunt!" I cry, though my scream is drowned out by the overwhelmingly loud tides crashing on the shore "Get the fuck off me!"

Ellie is better at fighting than I am, I had never been on this side of her before, usually, I had been the one to drag her away from fights but now I am the one who is going to stumble home numb from the devastating pain.

Frankly, I'm fucking scared.

She continues to drag me by my hair until I'm knee-deep in the water with her, she almost throws her entire weight into me, dunking me beneath the surface where her bony hands snake around my neck. My eyes have gone blurry with the salt water, they sting and burn. I can't see anything, all I can do is uselessly thrash beneath her. My hands push against her face, trying to pry her off my body.

Eventually, I manage to claw her face with my fingernails, I dig deep enough that it breaks skin and she recoils just enough for me to knee her in the stomach and let me get out from under her. Just as I try to slip away she reaches for my hair again, but instead of tugging on my hair, she rips out my gold hoop earring. I screech out in agony, hand reaching for where the metal sliced through the lobe of my ear, I shudder in pain; my cries are now jagged and harsh.

This is the exact moment Ellie begins to regret what she's done. "Fuck, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to." Her tone softens and she tries to approach me but I back away from her like a frightened dog.

"Get away from me!" Despite the pain surging in my body, I find the strength in me to hit her again, she staggers back tripping into the water. I hit her so hard that I feel a crack in my knuckle and I yelp out in the immediate shock of pain.

I wasn't sure when the others had noticed this was happening probably because my vision had gone blurry from salt water and adrenaline but before Ellie could hit me again, she was being restrained by Riley and Kennedy while some guy who I had probably had two conversations with dragged my back to shore.

I keel over on my hands and knees and begin to start retching onto the sand. Laila rubs a gentle hand on my back, my hair sticking wet on my forehead. A seagull, disturbed by the commotion, took flight, its wings cutting through the charged air.

Next to the pile of vomit I just heaved, blood drips down from my ear, pooling and then soaking into the sand. My neck swells from what is still the raw sensation of Ellie closing her hands around it.

I look up at Ellie, there is blood that has dripped its way into her mouth, clinging to her white teeth. She has what almost looks like a cat scratch running down her cheek, blood begins to prick and spill from the lacerations.

She stares back at me and we don't say a word but we understand each other clearly, I never want to see you again.

"Let's go," Ellie grabs my arm as Dina begins to slice the cake "We're gonna fix this right now."

"Ellie, there are so many people here," I say in a hushed tone so people can't hear me.

"I don't mean here," She looks at me, face expressionless "Just get in my car."

"Excuse me?" I say, tone accusing "Did you just order me to get in your car?"

"Fuck," She sighs, dropping my wrist to rub her hands down her face "Please can you get in my car so we can work this through."

"There's nothing to work through," I retort "You're embarrassed by me or you still secretly hate me and that's fine, I meant what I said on winter break about the lease, the second it's up, I'm getting the fuck out of here."

"What? No, don't- just," She takes a breath, reevaluating what to say "I have a point to make but I can't make it unless you get in my car."

We stare at each other for a moment, I narrow my eyes and she is still unmoving. Every scenario runs through my head of what could be waiting for me in that car.

"Fine."

I sit silently in her passenger seat, my knees are pulled into my chest and I rest my chin on them. Ellie doesn't say anything either as she drives. I watch each traffic light pass me, every street name to try and make sense of where we are going.

I almost feel like I'm going to suffocate beneath the silence of everything going left unsaid.

When I spot the boardwalk up ahead, I know exactly where she's taking me "Ellie, why are we at the beach?" I give her a side glance "Do I need to take out my earrings?"

Heat rises to her cheeks when I say this, "Not yet," She jokes, getting out of her car and grabbing a tote bag from the back seat, and I follow in tow.

We walk past the boardwalk and onto the sandy beach, I'm already not feeling whatever she's doing; there is sand filling up my Converse and a slight wind chill, I'm really wishing I had a hoodie right now. "Can you tell me what we're doing yet?" I'm hugging myself in an attempt to stay warm "If we're still walking on the beach why couldn't we have just walked on the boardwalk instead? It literally has walk in the name." I'm already going off on one of my tangents.

She still walking ahead of me but she briefly turns around to face me "Can you just stop asking questions for a minute?"

"Okay, whatever," I mutter, trailing behind her still. I can hardly see in the night, the only light to guide us is the moon and the warm ceiling lamps from restaurants along the boardwalk. I can vaguely see Ellie's silhouette, she's outlined by the gentle glow radiating off the moon, I try my best not to stumble over things poking out of the sand that have been lost to sight by darkness.

"Okay," Ellie stops, "Here we are."

"Where are we?" I ask "I can't see shit, I don't know where here is."

Ellie digs around in her pocket for her phone and turns on a flashlight and it reveals a small iron firepit that was cemented into a slab of concrete in the sand. She hands me her phone so I can keep the flash on her and she can see what she's doing.

She pulls out some pages ripped out from her notebook "Can you hand me your lighter?"

My eyebrows furrowed, and I felt around in my pocket wondering if I even had one. I did, it had slipped my mind that I still had the bic lighter that I confiscated from Peach Fuzz. I hand the lighter to her and watch as she tucks the pages beneath logs that were in the firepit before we arrive, they are somewhat charred but still viable.

She flicks the lighter to ignite it and the paper catches immediately. The initial flicker grew into a tentative blaze, licking at the edges of the kindling. The crackling sound echoed through the night.

Once she is sure the fire can survive without her feeding it, she steps away. "Alright, let's have it out."

"Like sex?" I scrunch up my nose.

"Oh my god, no, like let's talk this through." She pinches her nose bridge, taking a breath in before exhaling and putting her hand back down "We're gonna recreate the night of the bonfire how it should've been," Ellie reached back into her bag and pulled out two white claws "I snagged these from Dina's party, sorry this was kind of last minute."

I can't help the smile that grows on my face, I take one of the white claws and crack it open "I don't know how authentic this is gonna be if there isn't any canned Smirnoff."

I think back to exactly how that night played out and I take a seat on the sand, facing the crashing dark ocean. I sip my white claw, as expected Ellie takes a seat next to me, just what happened on the actual night.

"Wow," She says "You look really pretty and I'm an idiot for ever saying you looked awful," Ellie looks gorgeous illuminated by the orange light of the fire, and the breeze causes her flyaway hairs to drift in the wind. "I'm an asshole for pretending that I didn't know you, I was scared I would get hurt again and take it to heart like I did last time. I promise the second we get home that I'll come clean."

I don't know if I can deal with this sugary philosophy. She's being so sweet that it's rotting my teeth.

"Ellie," I say gathering my thoughts, it was so hard being honest with my feelings, it felt like I would get hospitalized if I showed any emotion. "I was so in love with you in high school that it killed me, and I was terrified that my parents would throw me out well, they did- but that's why I pushed you away and there isn't a day that goes by where I don't regret it."

The surprise on her face morphs into a soft smile "What about now?" she asks "Do you still love me?"

I shrug, it's honest "I dunno, but I think there's room to try."

She looks from me to the ocean and the way the moonlight glitters off the surface "What happened next?" Ellie toys with the tab of her drink "Did you hit me?"

"Yeah," I say softly, following her gaze out to the waters "But if we're doing the night how it should've been, I'd rather just kiss you."

Ellie turns her head back to look at me. She shoves her white claw into the sand then takes my face into one of her hands and kisses me like it's her job, so tender and carefully like she's afraid I will break beneath pressure.

How weak have I become? My heart is so full of her that I can hardly call it my own.

A/N: Be grateful for this ending because I was very tempted to give you guys an unhappy one. Sorry that I forgot to post this lol, I’m sad this series is over but excited to show you all my next one which may be the angst-iest yet 👀

Thanks for reading!

Tag list: @elliesaturnsoftdrink @elliesaesp @melanie-watermelon @yalaysbee @laundrybag29 @readbydayana @skylerwhitwyo @lmaoo-spiderman @joliettes @kittnii @taylorgracies @sameenatruther @mikellie @belles-hell @fullmachinegirl @eveshyper @whosmica

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harmoonix · 6 months

Text

Where mountains kiss the

sky

°Morning Fresh Astrology Notes°

⛰️ : Saturn in Gemini may have a difficulty in talking and expressing themselves, they can aslo develop anxiety/panic attacks (Applying if you have Saturn in your 3rd house or Saturn at Gemini Degrees 3°, 15°, 27°)

⛰️: Saturn in Scorpio or Saturn in the 8th house may have a fear for intimacy/or a fear that their partner may not accept them the way they are. (You don't have to be scared of that, the right person will accept the way you are)

⛰️: Virgo/Capricorn and Gemini Moons can find therapy and meditation in the nature, it actually helps their minds a lot

⛰️: Moon square Mercury can use music as a sign to talk. For example when they feel sad/hurt they may be listening to sad songs to fit their mood

⛰️: Taurus/Pisces/Libra and Leo placements love to decorate, their house might be full of decorations and a good vibe

⛰️: Venus square Uranus may find themselves dating more/multiple partners. Like that type of person who could've had a lot of people in the past

⛰️: Moon - Ascendant aspects can make someone childlike, like to give you the vibe that they are young and sometimes acting like a kid. That may be their inner kid feeling themselves good

⛰️: Don't provoke someone with Aries Placements because they are so competitive. They love competition and everything related to winning

⛰️:4th house placements are very traditional and they may like to keep those traditions in their family. Unhealed 4th house placements can be very strict

⛰️: Moon/Sun - South Node aspects may like to watch shows from their childhood to comfort themselves

⛰️: 11th house placements LOVE/ADORE to spend time with their friends especially if you have your Moon or Sun in this house

⛰️: If you have Venus - Moons aspects and you're single, you may have the desire to want a partner/relationship with this aspects you basically seek for love

⛰️: Pluto - Asc aspects/Lilith - asc aspects and Aquarius Risings, their first expressions are so on point. They know how to do it, and when to do it, in order to be a success

⛰️: Moon - Mercury/Jupiter aspects have the most beautiful smiles ever, they literally look so happy when they smile.

⛰️: People with a lot of fire in their charts can get irritated fast, they can be also very bold when it comes to their temper. And they may also have a sharp tongue

⛰️: Saturn in Cancer can be one of the most difficult placements to have Saturn in because it mostly tells us about a problem with nurturing/taking care of yourself but also family issues = all these combined (Applied to Saturn in the 4th house or Saturn in Cancer Degrees 4°, 16°, 28°)

⛰️: People with Saturn in the 6th/10th/12th house can get tired so fast, like I know so many people with these placements including myself and omg I just wanna sleep all day (Btw sleeping helps your body a lot, like your body actually heals during sleep)

⛰️: Something I observed about the Moon - Saturn aspects is that they know how to hide their pain long enough so nobody can see them hurt. They may have their reasons for that

⛰️: Sagittarius/Aquarius placements can either be very social either very shy, like they can have this ambient energy of both of things

⛰️: I have a feeling people with Hekate {100} in the 1st/12th house have a really powerful intuition, like they know how to act based on their intuition

⛰️: I have the feeling people with Jupiter in the 9th house tend to be teachers favorite, I mean this placement in general shows a lot of luck in school/highschool/university etc so with this you can also impress teachers (Applying if you have Jupiter in Sagittarius)

⛰️: Moon in the 7th house/Moon in Libra have the tendency to feel sad/depressed if they are not in a relationship, they'll seek for it and most times they can end up in a toxic relationship because of this "love" for relationships

⛰️: Pluto - Venus aspects/Scorpio Venus or Venus in the 8th house can attract possessive people into their lives, and be aware cuz not everyone has good intentions

⛰️: Lilith - Saturn aspects don't like when people tell them what to do. Because they generally don't like to listen to others and instead to make their own rules. Natives with such placements can be rebels.

⛰️: South Node aspecting the Moon > esp the conjunction > It can be very challenging because with those aspects you have a hard time with your letting your past to go. You often remember your past and that can cause you pain

⛰️: Ascendant quincunx Lilith, seen as a minor aspect, I found this aspect a lot in people's charts. Natives with this placement in their chart are unsure of their desires, they also may have it hard when it comes to their sexuality

⛰️ - Oh my god, imagine what a view from these mountains and imagine the selfies you can get 😍, jokes aside I think our earth looks much better with a lot of green in it instead of pollution, so we have to take a lot of care of our earth ⛰️

⛰️ - I hope everyone has a good day full of good vibes, if you can spend time in nature, do it if you want, because it's the best thing to nurture yourself when you get low, just stay on the grass and look at sky, trust me is free therapy ⛰️

⛰️ Yours truly, Harmoonix 🦋⛰️

#astro observations #astrology #birth chart #astrology observations #astro notes #placements #astro community #horoscope #ascendant #venus #mountains #earth #⛰️#placements in your birth chart #astro fyp #astrology fyp #fyp tumblr #fyp2023 #tumblr fyp

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soxcietyy · 7 months

Text

Ghost Face

Yuta Okkotsu x fem reader

18+ minors dni

Description: You decide to watch a horror movie without Yuta being home. Though things go completely wrong. (Not good with descriptions)

You sigh heavy as you hear Yuta telling you over the phone that he won’t be able to make it to your house for Halloween.

"The guys want to go around and scare kids tonight and apparently they need me to drive them around. Plus you wernt even planning on celebrating today, your in a bathtub and had plans to sleep while kids bang on your door." Yuta said.

He wasn’t wrong but he did need to know that. You couldn’t believe that he ditched you for his friends. "Obviously I was going to do something, I was planning on watching a horror movie with you but since your so busy I guess I’ll do it myself."

"Don’t be like that, I promise I’ll make it home before midnight." He said as if that was going to make things better.

"Right"

"Common y/n you know I can’t leave the guys alone, don’t tell me your scared." He said the last part in an amused tone.

"Of course not, have fun Yu." You said before hanging up.

The sweet smell of your cinnamon and apple body wash filled the bathroom. Your body was completely covered in bubbles that filled the tub. The candles lit the place up dimly creating a cozy environment. You could doze off to sleep if you really wanted to but knowing your boyfriend wasn’t going to be here stopped you from it. Yuta was a people pleaser and since he didn’t go out with his friends much he sometimes prioritized them more than you. Not that you were jealous or anything but being alone on Halloween didn’t feel right. You couldn’t even call a friend over because they all had plans tonight. Hopefully tonight would go by like a breeze.

Stepping out you grab the towel and proceeded to dry yourself up. The quiet ringing filled your ears making you feel uneasy. Should it be this quiet on a Halloween night? Peering out the window the see the sun setting. Young kids ran door to door for candy that will be giving them a stomach ache if they ate too much of it. Blowing out every candle in the room somehow gave you an idea. You were going to make him feel bad for leaving you alone tonight.

Walking into your closet you looking through your selection of pajamas. You could go on theme or you could go for something he would want. You knew the perfect one, you pick out a silky black night gown. As basic as it was you knew this was Yutas favorite thing to see you in. This would surely make him run back home like a dog. You did your makeup as natural as you can, brush your hair and slip some sock on before going down stairs.

Digging in your pantry you find orange sugar cookies, Halloween candy, and other spooky things that would have him drooling over the phone. You place them in a tray neatly and bring them into the living room. You set the goods on the coffee table with a cup of Yutas favorite hot chocolate. You couldn’t help but giggle to yourself knowing how he would react when he came back home.

He would have a pouty face and drag his feet towards you. Being the clingy boyfriend he is he would wrap his big arms behind you and rest his head on the crook of your neck. Trying to convince you to have another scary movie night nonverbally. Yuta tends to not really say what he wants but would hint on it with his actions. You had to admit it was cute.

Jumping on the couch you cover your legs with a brown blanket that had silly ghost’s on it. The last thing you needed to make this perfect was putting on the movie obviously. Scrolling through the selection on your smart tv had you decided to watch a classic. That being the move "Scream". Being honest you wernt that great with horror movies, especially when watching them alone. Yuta would hold your hands knowing well that you would have them covering your eyes for half the movie.

Grabbing your phone you quickly snap a picture of you, the tv, the treats and the mug of hot chocolate. You wondered how long it would take him to respond. You send the picture and throw your phone on the other side of the couch. The second your click play on the movie a loud ding echos. You jolt from how loud it was and groan loudly as you pinch the bridge of your nose. If he was here he would of definitely be laughing his ass off.

Picking up your phone you look at the message to see his response.

Yuta <3: Your evil :( your going to regret doing that without me.

You let out a chuckle as you take a bite of a sugar cookie. Turning your attention to the window you see that it has gotten dark quick. Looking back at your phone you see that it was 10pm already. Maybe tonight was going to go by fast.

Forcing yourself to watch the whole move through was hard. You were tempted on changing it to something more cheerful. Something that wouldn’t have you paranoid at all.

When the movie finished you didn’t know if it was good or bad because you covered your eyes for the gory parts. You just couldn’t bring yourself to look at the tv. You really wanted to be brave and it through the whole movie without hiding away but you couldn’t. You weren’t made for this type of stuff. Maybe you should watch a cartoon to lift up your mood. Looking down at your mug you see that you needed a refill. Slipping out of the blanket you made your way to the hot chocolate machine and pour some milk in. Yuta would be home in a few minutes so that meant you had to clean up soon.

As you wait for the machine to warm up the milk and chocolate your phone begins to ring again making your heart jump out of your chest.

"For the love of god" you sigh as you snatch your phone from the counter and answer it.

"Hello?" You say not even bothering to see who called

"Hey darling how is it going?"

You pause and look to see that it has no caller ID.

"Who is this?"

"Does that really matter?"

"Yes it doe-"

"What are you doing?" He cuts you off

You hesitate before answering, it was probably some teens prank calling. Maybe you should humor them and go along with it.

"Making hot chocolate." You say as your pour the hot liquid in your mug.

"Isn’t that a Christmas thing?" He asks.

"Yea Im more of a Christmas girly but I’m about to watch a movie. Nothing goes better to watch a movie than hot coco on a cold Halloween night."

"Let me guess, a scary movie"

"Maybe, why do I need to tell someone who doesn’t want to identify themselves?"

"Do you like scary movies?"

You roll your eyes seeing he was ignoring that questions.

"Not really but I’m always up for anything depending on the mood."

"Do you have a boyfriend?" He asks.

"Yes I do kiddo, how even old are you to be asking me that? You don’t even know my age." You laugh as you set the mug down on the table.

"You look around my age."

You pause to process what he said. How would he know how you look…? Darting your eyes to each window made heart heart race. Scared to know if the next one would have someone standing in front of it. You look at the tv and then suddenly remember this scenario happened in the movie you just watched.

"Hahaha very funny asshole, how about you get a life and don’t ever call me again." You hang up and sit on the couch. Teens now clearly had a different sense of humor from back then.

You felt very uneasy after what just happened so you put on a cartoon. Things like this shouldn’t get to you. It was just a dumb little joke they where playing. Grabbing your cup you take a big sip of the warm drink and sink into the couch. Everything is going to be fine. Maybe you needed to rest, going to bed sounded great right now. Standing up you go around the house making sure the doors were locked and the curtains where closed. It wasn’t until you reached the last window where you noticed something strange. Looking out you saw something looking right at you. They sat on one of your lawn chairs as they faced your window. It was a person wearing a ghost mask.

You shut the curtains and make a run for it upstairs, stupid stupid teens playing pranks and stupid you for letting them work on you. You slam your door closed and quickly dig in your pocket. You were absolutely going to call the cop on that asshole. Digging your hand in your pocket caused you to gasp seeing you left your phone down stairs.

"Fuck, how am I so stupid” you mumble to yourself.

You sat in the corner contemplating on what to do next. You could open the window and start screaming. Maybe wait for Yuta to get home so he can scare them off. Or lastly grab your phone from down stairs. As bad as the last one sounded it was the most logical and fast option. Thinking about it the person was outside and had no way of getting inside. You were safe inside here so getting it shouldn’t be no big deal. Opening the door you peek down the hall and slowly make your way down. You vision began going in and out from the stress pooling in your head. You doubted you could reach your phone on time before something bad happened. On the last step you look into the living room, looking for your phone you spot it on the coffee table. Making another run for it you snatch it and unlock it with your shaking hands. You couldn’t believe that you actually did it. Before you could press any number you feel a presence behind you. Slowly turning around you see him standing there. The man with the stupid ghost face mask.

You let out a scream as he grabs your arms throwing your phone across the room. The both of you start wrestling causing you both to fall too the ground.

"Get the hell off of me!" You yell as your attempts became weaker. He held your arms over your head and brought his face closer to yours.

You let out a shaky breath as you felt him wrap his hand over your neck. Closing your eyes you began to pray. This was how you were going to go out, being chocked to death. Yuta would come home to your lifeless body. Just because you couldn’t defend yourself from an intruder That’s when you heard a soft cling above you. Opening your eyes you see a necklace with a ring on it over you.

Necklace+ring=Yuta.

"Yuta, you asshole. You scared the living hell out of me." You say breathing heavily with your chest rising up and down. That’s when you felt something hard in between your legs. Of course he had to get a hard on right now.

You watched as he unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants. Pulling them down to reveal his length. You could tell he’d been thinking about doing this for a while seeing how his tip was leaking.

"Did I scary you that bad?" He asks, still not taking the mask off.

"Yea you made me scream" you lay under him trying to read him by his eyes only. As the both of you watch your breaths you began rubbing yourself against his shaft.

He let out a groan as you moved. "Fuck" he exhaled. "I think I can make you scream louder though"

He gripped your neck harder but not enough to completely cut your air flow. His other hand slipping under your silky gown. You could feel as his fingers intertwined with the string of your panties giving it a hard tug down. Taking them off of you he brought you closer to him so you could sit up. Doing so you felt how he directed you to turn around on all fours, making you look at yourself in the living room mirror. Looking in it you could see how he props himself up.

The mask still being fully on him made you excited. This was something new to the both of you. The way he was handling you, talking to you, and exhaling made you so desperate for him to enter you. You watched as he leaned over your back and forced you to look at him through the mirror.

"What did we learn today?" He asks.

"No movie night without you?" You say not breaking eye contact with the black holes that looked at you through the ghost mask.

"No darling” he grabs a fist full of your hair. "Never answer the phone to strangers, especially on a Halloween night." He said as he slammed right into to you.

You let out a cry as he rammed into you forcefully. Tears collecting in the corner of your eyes. He didn’t bother stretching you out nor warning you. He then proceeded to slam into you repeatedly. You could hear him panting in the back. How he gripped your hips and hair. How his balls smacked against your cunt. How you slowly began to forget how to think straight. All you could feel was the amazing pleasure. How he was using you however he wanted. His member reached places only his could touch. It wasn’t girthy but it was surely long.

He rolled his hips trying to find your g-spot. Still pulling your hair back all the way so he could see your face once he found what he was looking for. He mumbled under his breath saying how good you feel. How tight and right you were for him. How you were such a dumb girl for going down stairs to get your phone. Now having to suffers the consequences of a murdered fucking the hell out of you.

In the mirror you saw how he took his mask off. You could see his damped face and the sweat that rolled down his face from wearing the mask. He ran his fingers through his hair as he still kept it moving. He still wore the pants and black hoodie he left with. You couldn’t help but stare at him as he looked at you with a small smirk.

"Hope you like what you see," he says as he continued ramming into you. Your arms began to shake not being able to hold yourself up for any longer. You collapse like a baby deer In front of him. That putting no stop to what he was doing. Splitting your hair into two sections he held each with his hands. You felt close to orgasm as he abused your cunt. You claw at the carpet as your mind started to go completely blank. All you could find yourself doing was moaning his name out and feeling the pleasure.

Suddenly you hit you climax making you scream his name for him to stop. To let you cum all over his member. With a final slam he lets go of your hair causing you to collapse as you rode your orgasm.

"Let’s do that again." He said with a grin.

#yuta okkotsu #jjk second years #jjk movie #yuta okkotsu x reader #yuta okkotsu x you #jjk x y/n #jjk 0 movie #jujutsu kaisen #Yuta #yuta okkotsu smut #yuta x reader #yuta oneshot #yuta okkotsu x y/n

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strawb3rry-acid · 2 months

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König and Social Anxiety

I just wanted too ramble a little bit about how I personally believe that König's social anxiety affects him, coming from someone who struggles with severe social anxiety. I've seen a bit of misconceptions in the past (though it seems to have died down now thankfully) about social anxiety, so I just wanted to give my own opinion. Per usual, this is fairly long lol ♡

This post is purely meant to analyse his social anxiety instead of his personality, and just talk a bit about social anxiety in general. If you hold different opinions that's completely okay. These are just my thoughts.

If you're struggling/have struggled mentally in any way, shape, or form please know that you are not alone. You're loved, accepted, heard, appreciated, and cared for. Keep going, you've got this. It'll all be okay, I promise 🫂

─ 𓆡𓆝𓆞𓆟𓆜𓆛 ─

So, for starters let me just get it out of the way that we, unfortunately, know practically nothing about König, or anything about the ways in which his social anxiety makes an impact on his life. The most when know when it comes to the latter would be the mentions that it's severe, likely developed due to his experiences with being bullied as a child, and that he likes to go unnoticed. Sure, we have voicelines, but I don't personally feel it captures clues as too how his social anxiety affects him. It eludes to his personality sure, but not so much his symptoms. I feel it's also important to mention that his disorder isn't his personality. It may have an affect on it of course, but it's not his personality.

Coming from someone who struggles with the same mental health condition I can be a completely different person in a place I feel I'm at my best in. Hell, sometimes it can seem nonexistent, but put me in a different situation, and it's nearly impossible too miss. In a military setting, König is definitely in his element. Not only is he in his element, but the military also provides structure, and consistency, which is very important when it comes to coping with any form of anxiety disorder, or any mental health condition in general.

I think it's important too mention as well that social anxiety isn't the same thing as being introverted, and/or shy. Does having it make it more likely for individuals too be introverted, and/or shy? Absolutely, but it doesn't always mean they will be. Social anxiety also doesn't mean that you don't like people. For many people it tends to mean that you're frightened about the negative possibilities when it comes to interacting with people. (For example, I love people, and I love getting to know people, but I'm often way to scared about humiliating myself/being judged to actually do it, so I usually I won't, and will avoid social events like the plague.)

I have no doubt in my mind that König feels like everyone has their eyes on him 24/7, and that they're somehow judging him in some way. Going off of his bio, I personally think the mentions that he was often bullied, and that he only found acceptance in fighting indicates that the bullying was likely on more of a severe scale. I doubt he found confidence in others very often, if at all, and really lacks skills in the socializing department.

He picks and chooses his words very carefully, and spends quite sometime practicing what he wants to say. He likely plans for every way the interaction could turn out, especially the worst case scenario. After the event, it'll be on his mind for quite some time as he replays it over and over again in his head, searching for any clues that he made them uncomfortable/embarrassed himself all while beating himself up for not saying/doing something better.

When he's not a blood thirsty, loud, human battering ram on the field I think he's very quiet, and is the type of person to stick to a wall, or the corner of a room. He's very observant of the people around him, and will try to be alone as much as possible to avoid any stress. When coworker's try to approach him, especially if it's unprompted, then he's very short with them. Of course, this makes him come off as rude, which I don't think he's trying to be most of the time. He's just nervous, and wants to be left alone so it doesn't show to other people. Plus he's very awkward, and doesn't want too risk saying the "wrong" thing that could result in him being judged/humiliated. Especially if he hasn't had the time to plan what he wants to say.

I do think he does feel bad when he behaves that way towards someone with genuinely good intentions, and who just wants to get to know him better, but he isn't too sure how to handle it if it comes out of nowhere. He tries, but he's not very good at it most of the times. He's polite enough, he's just very awkward which tends to come off as him being standoffish, and his discomfort tends to get misinterpreted as him being an ass. He's usually bad with words, and people overall which results in him being probably a fairly isolated man.

I think that when he's on leave, and out living the average civilian life is when it presents itself. He's expected to act a fairly different way when compared to how he acts on the job, and is completely out of his element. I think he's very different with civilians than he is with the people he works with. He knows that he really intimidates them, especially women and children, and tries his best to make himself appear as less frightening as possible. His tone is likely more hushed, his face is more soft, and he tries not too be as short as he is with coworkers. Kinda backfires though in some ways as he can come off as sounding very serious unintentionally, which makes him feel like a dick.

I think it's important to mention again that his social anxiety is specified as being severe which means it heavily impacts his life. Does that mean that he doesn't know how to cope with it, or live a fairly normal life? Of course not, but it still majorly effects him even if it doesn't show outwardly. There's likely some things he simply can't/won't do often, or at all due to his social anxiety. These thing's probably involve big social events, and instances where all focus is soely on him. Combine those two together, and you have a situation he'd never willingly put himself in.

He probably does have panic attacks. He probably will sweat, blush, stutter, and show other physical symptoms of anxiety in high stress situations that he can't escape from. I don't think this happens often (At least not in front of people. The last thing he'd want people to know is that he struggles with social anxiety in case it makes him a target.), but it most likely does happen. I want to mention this because I think it's important to talk about, but I've seen some people bring down other's for including symptoms of König's anxiety in their writing, and it's really disheartening.

He may be an intimidating, middle aged mountain of a military man, but he still had feelings. He's still a human being, not a complete monster. He's not going to start a random verbal/physical altercation with a random person that hasn't started anything with him to try to bring them down. I personally think, just like most of the other characters, he's a normal guy when not on the job.

#cod mw2 #konig cod #konig mw2 #könig #könig call of duty #könig cod #könig mw2 #cod mwii #cod x reader #mw2 #modern warfare 2 #cod modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare #cod mw3 #modern warefare ii #modern warfare #modern warefare 2 x reader #cod #mw 2023

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winryrockbellwannabe · 1 month

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🍃 Trying to get out of a rut 🍃

new semester, new me, am i right?

last semester I realized i was getting super overworked and i wasn't getting enough rest to make up for it, even tho I was sleeping 8 hours everynight and doing the routine that usually works better for me. But i didn't work bc of the amount of stress I was in, and now that routine does not work for me at all. So, even tho i was scared to change a routine that i knew i liked, i decided to change everything. but EVERYTHING

set a decent sleep schedule. Even tho i was sleeping 8 hours everynight, those 8 hours could be from 2am to 10am or 10pm to 6am, it was a mess. So now, im trying to roughly wake up and go to bed at the same time everyday

I also changed my breakfast. Even tho it's my comfort food, it started to work too well, and now it makes me fall right back to bed with my comfort movie. So that had to change. And now my new breakfast takes a while to prepare, so i use that time to drink water and clean up around the kitchen while breakfast is getting ready.

Mandatory rest time. But like, intentional rest time. 30 min before going to sleep, i'll try to do something that makes me feel more rested. Hopefully no screens, but i can't be that strict with myself. Most days I'll just put on some soft music and prepare the next day's outfit etc, but on good days i also manage to read for a bit.

change my usual study places. Ideally change it as often as possible. Im too used to my old study places, so now I can't be as productive there.

new study playlists. i went throught too many playlists while in college. Sometimes I would study while listening to musicals, then asmr, then disney instrumentals, then brown noise. It's important for me to choose the "vibe" im going for asap, so i stay somewhat consistent until im bored of that especific playlist again.

did I already post multiple times similar things? Yes, i did. But i needed to write and post this all over again bc i tend to forget about my own routines

#studyblr #study blog #studyspo #stemblr #stem student #study blr #adhd studyblr #study tips #2.3 #student life #studying

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sweetfushi · 9 days

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SYNOPSIS. how they kiss you.

TAGS. gojo, nanami, toji, geto, shiu x reader, kinda suggestive so 16+.

NOTES. i need them all badly. or just general affection. i just need love y'all.

gojo:

gojo kisses you like he's scared you'll slip through his fingers at any given moment. his touches are tender, his gaze longing even as caresses you. his kisses are slow, passionate, endearing. you have to grasp his shirt to maintain balance as he lets one hand trail down to encircle your waist. he breaths heavily as he pulls his blindfold off fully, brows furrowing as he focuses on moving his lips with yours and drinking in the sweet sound of your sighs and gasps when his hands start to roam over your body. "that look in your eyes," he smiles. "you're beautiful. keep gracing me with your attention, dove."

nanami:

nanami tends to peck you more than fully kiss you. little pecks on your cheek or forehead. but when he does kiss you, you're usually already finding that your breath is heavy and your face is hot because his teasing is subtle yet mind-melting. he has your back against the wall, his arm above your head as his other hand clasps your hip, pulling you into him. your vision is hazy, love-drunk as you plead with him incoherently. who is he to deny you? his lips are soft yet heavy on yours as you both lean into each other, desperate for body heat and further contact. you sometimes hear and feel him chuckle into the kiss, heavily endeared by your needy state. "is this how you get? hm, you're a little minx, but i anticipate that you already know that," he laughs breathily.

toji:

toji tends to surprise you with hot, intimate kisses when you least expect it. he'll approach you from behind, groan at the sight of your wide eyes as he presses his front to your back and grabs you by your upper throat, index finger tracing your jaw. at this point, your legs are already shaking, so you find it hard to contain yourself when he presses his lips to yours and tangles your tongue with his. you have to pause your rational thinking and allow yourself to succumb to the heat radiating from his body, the soft breathy chuckles he releases into the kiss when you whine. he'll then pull away, trace his index finger over your bottom lip as you gaze up at him, eyes pooling with a desire to continue what he stopped. he smirks at you, "you're gonna start things you can't finish with the way ya' lookin' at me, doll."

geto:

geto kisses you knowing full well you crumble under his mere touch. he'd guide you to face him with a firm grasp on your chin, a subtle smirk on his lips as he hears your breath hitch. you're not nervous, simply smitten. he teases you with gentle pecks to your lips, a smile gracing his own when you huff in frustration. “you seem almost ungrateful,” he teases, letting you deepen one of his kisses. his brow eventually furrows as he succumbs to your own desire, his hands manoeuvring you to sit on his lap, your hands on his chest. you both caress each other as if your life were dependent on it, your lashes fluttering when the kiss finally breaks and you’re both left panting and grasping each other.

shiu:

shiu's kisses are only ever long when you're being intimate. otherwise, his kisses last a few seconds at most. it’s not because he doesn’t like the motion, rather because he shows his affection through acts of service and long, silent but comfortable embraces. he kisses you as you’d expect a lover to, letting you run your hands over his body as he leans against the dining table. his hands run up and down your sides, eventually moving to do the same to your back as you press kisses to his cheekbones and jaw, a subtle grunt escaping him from the attention to the sensitive areas. “you’re a real darlin’, gettin’ me all shaky like this. it’s like you enjoy seeing me struggle to control myself.”

#jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen fluff #satoru gojo x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #kento nanami x reader #suguru geto x reader #shiu kong x reader #jjk fluff #jjk headcanons #jujutsu kaisen

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sansaorgana · 2 months

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Can you write a cute one with a bit of smut (if you're comfortable with that obviously) with Buck and female reader where he sneaks her into his room when he knows all the others are away?

hi, love! 😍 I loved the idea of sneaking in and it starts smutty indeed but the ending is spoiled by Bucky 🤣 sorry not sorry, I tend to imagine Reader's life with these two like it's a sitcom sometimes 😁

my inbox is open for blurb/short fic requests for major cleven 🤗

🔞 THIS FIC IS 18+ 🔞

Buck was the only guy who didn’t go out to the pub in town on Friday night. The boys had a whole weekend off and almost all of them decided to celebrate by going to the local town and flirting with the girls while getting drunk. Buck was not a drinker and he already had his girl on the base with him.

“If you stay here like a loser,” Bucky teased him before walking out, “then at least sneak her in here and have some good time, too,” he winked as some man behind him whistled and Buck sighed. “You don’t want to sleep here alone, do you?”

“Get out already,” Buck pushed him out and watched the rest of the boys disappear. He shook his head to himself but the truth was that he found the idea tempting indeed.

“Oh, you stayed?” You asked Buck, surprised to see him alone by the table during dinnertime. “I thought you’d go out with the boys,” you chuckled and took a seat next to him.

“I’d get bored there,” he admitted and you tilted your head to take a better look at him because he sounded like he was crazy. He smiled at you.

“You’re adorable, Gale,” you told him and you fixed his hair a little. His friends were not there to tease him about it and your friends had already known about you two anyway. Women’s gossip travelled faster than any plane. “But you don’t have to miss out on parties. I wouldn’t mind you going out,” you told him.

“I really didn’t want to go,” he assured you. “But you know… I have a whole room for myself tonight.”

You took the hand away and focused on the plate in front of you. You had to admit, you got a little shy at his insinuation. You had been sort of dating for a few weeks now but you had never had a time completely alone for yourselves. Not like that, at least. Of course there had been a few heated kisses in the dark corners here and there. But not much more than that.

“I’m so sorry…” Buck blushed. “God, I’m sorry… Forget about it… Doll, can we pretend I’ve never said that?” He put his hand on your thigh and you moved it away. He looked even more scared and awkward now.

“No, we can’t pretend,” you told him and dared to lay your eyes on him again. “Because I don’t want to pretend you haven’t said that. I think we can do it,” you nodded your head nervously.

Yes, yes, your mother wouldn’t be proud of you at that moment but for God’s sake you wanted something from this life, too, and that man could go down any day.

You loved him, too.

Buck furrowed his brows and then he gave you a wide smile as he finally realised that you had just agreed to spend the night with him.

“I will tell my friends that I have to work late. So they will go to sleep before I join them without knowing when exactly I’ll be back. I’ll tell Colonel Harding I’ll help him with the papers…” you started.

“No, no, he will keep you there until morning,” Buck shook his head.

“No, he won’t be there.”

“But he will realise you weren’t working if the papers aren’t ready tomorrow,” Buck pointed out.

“You silly, I have already finished them,” you rolled your eyes. “I always do more than I tell him so I can have free time here and there. And then I pretend I’ve just done it although it was already done a few days before. He’s been played like that many times by me,” you chuckled.

“You cunning little angel,” Buck pinched your thigh under the table and you giggled. “Let’s meet at eleven by the bathroom.”

“Sir, yes, sir,” you teased him.

Your heart was pounding in your chest as you were walking down the dark corridor. You were wearing nothing but a coat over your nightgown and now you regretted it. You wanted to surprise Buck but you were cold and you started to feel like an idiot, too. What if he would find it funny… or not ladylike…?

You almost decided to turn around and change before going back when you felt someone grabbing your arm and pulling you. You squealed but your lips got covered by a familiar hand.

“Shh, little one,” Buck whispered into your ear. “I’ve heard your footsteps,” he told you and removed the hand from your mouth.

“You scared me, Buck!” You whispered.

“I’m sorry, doll. Now, come with me,” he held your hand and guided you further into the corridor. You couldn’t go back to put more clothes on. You took a deep breath in and followed him.

Buck pushed the door leading to the room where the men had been sleeping, making sure to be as quiet as possible. You were alone there but someone could be walking outside. He closed the door behind you and led you to his bed.

When you were finally there, he turned on the small lamp which light was dim and wouldn’t alarm anyone walking by. After all, it was a free weekend and he was able to stay up late reading a book or something.

Then he turned around and took a look at you. He was wearing a T-shirt and pants and he smiled gently as noticed your nervousness.

“We don’t have to… do anything. We can just spend time together,” he told you and sat down on his bed. “What would you like to do?”

“I’m cold,” you admitted.

“Well, then, come here,” he invited you and you bit on your lower lip before gaining the courage to finally open your coat and let it fall to the floor.

Buck’s eyes widened as he looked up at you wearing nothing but a nightgown. He swallowed thickly as his lips opened slightly. The white nightgown looked perfect on your body in the dim light of his lamp and your nipples were hard and perky from the cold. He reached out for you as if he tried to find out if you were real.

“Can you warm me up, Major?” You teased as you crawled up on the bed to curl yourself in his arms.

“I sure can try,” Buck kissed your temple and reached out for the blanket to put it around you. You laid your head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat as your fingers started to make circles on his stomach. “Are you warmer now, love?” He looked down to see your face.

“Yes,” you whispered. “I haven’t felt so warm and safe in a long while,” you admitted.

“War is no place for a sweetheart like you,” he said and rubbed your back.

“But war is here anyway. War is in my country, it’s in my world. I can’t escape it. And here I can at least… do something,” you looked up to meet the gaze of his beautiful blue eyes. “It has nothing to do with courage, you know. If we get bombed and I die here, not many people will be sad. You don’t find wives and mothers here.”

“I will certainly be sad,” Buck put his finger on your lips to caress them gently. “Let’s not talk about it tonight.”

You nodded your head and let his fingertips trace the corners of your mouth. You opened your lips slightly and he froze for a while, trying to read on your face if you wanted what he had thought that you wanted. Eventually, you gave him a slight nod and he slowly put his fingers inside your mouth.

You sucked on them and looked up to give him doe eyes. His pupils darkened and you smirked at the sight. You felt his muscles tightening, too.

You raised your hands to grab his wrist and pull his fingers out of your mouth.

“Do you want to touch me?” You asked.

“Yes, please,” he nodded and you giggled at how well-mannered he was.

You guided both of his hands on your breasts and you leaned back to get in a more comfortable position for you to rest and for him to grope you.

His long fingers worked on the bow on your chest and when the ribbons went loose, the nightgown opened, exposing your bare breasts for him to touch gently. You moaned at the sensation and he shushed you before burying his face in your neck to place small kisses and suck on your skin.

His hands were warm and big and he was using them so gently. His goal was not to play with your breasts mindlessly, but to fondle them and explore every inch of the exposed skin. You didn’t feel like a piece of meat, you felt like a sculpture being admired by an artist. And it was making you feel warm and wet between your legs, too. You began to slowly rub your thighs together to get some friction.

Buck moved his head up to place kisses on your jaw now and you reached back to caress his hair and pull him closer.

You wanted to ask him to touch you down there but you felt too shy to do that. You let out a whine instead.

“What is it, little one?” Buck hummed and laid his eyes on your face. He wanted to make sure you were alright. You looked at him, pleadingly. At first he was confused but then he looked down and noticed your crossed thighs. “Do you want me to touch you there, darling?” He asked and you nodded shyly, feeling your cheeks heating up. “Alright then,” he kissed your forehead. “Come here,” he helped you to move down in his arms so you both were laying down now.

You pulled your nightgown up – shyly but eagerly, too. And this time the eagerness won with the shyness. You felt as if you were about to explode at any given moment. You had no privacy on this base until now so you couldn’t remember the last time you would touch yourself. And having Major Buck Cleven touching you was enough to set your whole body on fire.

Buck raised your thigh gently and put it over his waist to get a better access to you and he carefully touched your clit for the first time. He was visibly surprised at how swollen and wet you already were.

You let out a moan and tugged on his shirt.

“Buck…”

“What’s wrong, doll?” He stopped all the movement to make sure you were alright.

“I don’t want to have sex,” you admitted shyly and he furrowed his brows. “You can touch me but I don’t want to… I don’t want to go further. Not yet,” you told him. “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be,” he shook his head and kissed the top of yours. “Don’t be, little one.”

“I can touch you, too,” you proposed.

“Only if you feel like it,” he said.

“I do,” you assured him. “You can go back to touching me,” you added with a whine and he chuckled before letting his fingertips brush your clit gently.

God, he was a tease.

You focused on the bulge in his pants instead and you decided to tease, too. It was only fair. So you started with caressing it through the material of his pants, focusing on the tip for a while and then going all the way up. In the meantime, you were losing focus a few times from all the sensations he was making you feel between your legs.

“If you keep doing it like this, darling, I’m going to finish in my pants,” Buck chuckled.

“Really?” You looked up with a smile. “I want to see.”

“Oh, you’re naughty,” he shook his head and you felt a light slap on your pussy that made you widen your eyes. It was both slightly painful and incredibly pleasurable.

“Oh, so are you, Major,” you breathed out.

“You like that?” He asked and slapped you again as you whined. “You do.”

You both chuckled and leaned in for a kiss as your hands went back to rubbing and teasing. You were so lost in each other, you didn’t hear someone walking inside.

It was the loud bang of the door that made you jump up on the bed. You grabbed the blanket to cover yourself, absolutely terrified.

Thankfully, it was only Bucky. And he was completely drunk.

“Good evenin’,” he slurred out with a smirk, barely standing on his feet.

“What are you doing here?!” Buck snapped at him.

“Don’t mind me, I don’t have any idea what’s going on around me,” he admitted. “I think I wanted to start a fight, they threw me out. Some nice girl from the town gave me a ride home… To the base, I mean… So yeah… I’m banned from that pub,” he laid on his bed and started snoring half a minute later.

“I’ve never seen anyone falling asleep so fast!” You gasped.

“That’s Bucky for you,” Buck sighed.

“What now?” You asked.

“Well, he’s asleep…”

“No,” you interrupted him. “I can stay here for the night but I will not… No, it’s out of question,” you shook your head.

“Fine,” Buck sighed and left the bed. “Give me a moment, I need to go to the bathroom and cool down.”

“Yeah, okay,” you nodded your head and watched him walk away as you worked on your nightgown to tie the ribbons again in a bow.

When you were finished with that, you stood up and began turning Bucky around.

“What are you doing?” Buck asked you as he had just come back.

“He won’t snore so much this way and he won’t choke on his own vomit either,” you told him. “Help me, will you? He’s quite heavy.”

Buck helped you with that and he covered his friend with his blanket, too.

“It’s like tucking a kid to bed,” you giggled.

“Perhaps not the last time for us if we’re lucky,” Buck looked at you and your cheeks went hot at his words.

“Perhaps not…” you chuckled and extended your hands to take him back to bed and cuddle for the rest of the night.

Cuddling was nice, too.

MASTERLIST || BUCK MASTERLIST

#sansaorgana: Answered #lovely anons #*buck #lilysfiction #austin butler x reader #gale cleven x reader

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