#so this is how i see his interactions to garner sympathy
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Starscream: I’m a bad person, I’m a very bad person, I’m a horrible person.
Everyone: ...
Starscream: No you’re not, Starscream! We still love you, Starscream!
#starscream#transformers#transformers g1#transformers prime#transformers idw#Listen#I tolerate Starscream#but I also know he would try to stomp on me like I'm a bug or act all top of the food chain like “you're at my mercy”#so this is how i see his interactions to garner sympathy#decepticons#incorrect transformers prime#incorrect quotes
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reader having to adjust to michael and adam in the same body together (maybe a twinge of angst), but reader slowly grows to love michael just as much as they love adam <3
Growing to love Michael as much as you love Adam
Author note: This is very Michael heavy, I think at some point I wanna do something that either more Adam centric, or fully about them both. Also I have some ideas brewing for an actual fic, maybe?
Rating: General
Genre: Fluff, mild angst.
Words: 982
Please remember: Not to worry about thing's you cannot control.
Seeing Adam after so long was surreal.
He’d changed so much; he wasn’t just older, taller, stronger.
He was always laid back and practical, but now he’s more self-assured and perceptive.
And surprisingly well-adjusted for a man who had just spent more than a millennia in hell.
In some ways, it was easy to fall back into strides with him. He’d grown and changed, but he was still the man you loved.
The hardest part was Michael.
Sometimes it felt like you were the 3rd wheel. You knew Adam first, you loved him first, but Michael had known him longer. Try explaining that to literally anyone.
Although honestly, explaining any part of Adam, Michael, and your whole dynamic to anyone would be complicated.
Now that they’re free of the cage, Michael could so easily return to Heaven. He could repress Adam's mind, take his body, and do as he pleases, but he doesn’t. He’s sacrificing everything for him. How are you supposed to compare?
Sometimes Adam will clock out of a conversation, absorbed in something else with Michael.
They have stories, and inside jokes you can never really be a part of.
It’s lonely, waking up in an unexpectedly empty bed.
Being stood up because Michael had other plans.
Raising the issues with them garners sympathy and promises of change from Adam, but Michael is less responsive, which doesn’t give you much hope.
Change is a three-way street in this case.
However, you suspect they discussed the issue between themselves at some point, because change does come.
You’d finish dinner with Adam, but Michael would help you clean up.
He has offered to use his mojo, "so much faster and easier", but Adam doesn’t want to rely too much on it. You tend to agree, unless you’re feeling lazy.
And Michael is always quick to agree when you ask. Who knew Michael could be the naughty one.
You’d plan a game/puzzle night, which Michael would get invested in, and take control of. Especially if it is strategy-based.
You’d come home at the end of a hard day, and often, Michael was the one who would listen.
At first it was:
“Your whining is displeasing; I implore you to stop.”
But over time, he becomes more sympathetic, more interested in your feelings and day-to-day life.
Until he greets you with questions about your friends, or on-going dramas. Asking if you have had a better day today.
He asks you a lot of questions. Mainly about Earth, humanity, and culture at first. Adam is a sufficient guide to the human world, but he is a little behind the times.
And you can’t deny how cute he is when he repeats slang words back at you, or attempts to use them.
“What is ‘clickbait’?”
“You’re home, how was work? Please ‘spill the tea’.”
“Your clothing? Oh yes, it is ‘slaying’. Is that the correct term?”
Adam, who is also learning many of these words for the first time as well, is cringing so hard in their head.
Over time his questions get more personal. Your friends, family, hobbies, etc.
He knows a lot of it already. From Adam talking about you in the cage, from his memories, and from listening to conversations you have had since reuniting. They’re both always there really, even if you’re not interacting with one directly.
But there is a difference between first-hand and second-hand experiences.
And you enjoy having someone else to talk to about these things, another perspective.
You’d grown to like his company, for an Angel he's surprisingly compassionate, at least when he wants to be anyway.
Eventually, he trusts you enough to divulge information about his own family and his very long existence.
Sometimes you would wake up in Michael’s embrace. Which wasn’t necessarily unpleasant.
Even in the dark and the silence of night, you can tell the difference.
Adam's touch is soft, warm, and comforting. He makes you feel at ease.
Michael is solid, and protective. He makes you feel safe.
Until eventually, while you don’t quite feel like you’re on par with Michael, you do feel welcome.
You like him in fact.
Maybe you like him a little too much, considering he is not your boyfriend.
Your feelings for Adam haven’t lessened at all, but how can you spend 50% of your time with Michael, who is insightful, wise, inquisitive, and so damned cute. Who makes you feel safe, and valued...
And not develop some feelings.
Which complicates things further. It puts you on edge. Makes you worried about accidentally crossing a line.
How is one supposed to act around their boyfriend when their boyfriend isn’t their boyfriend, and also you have feelings for both the boyfriend and the not boyfriend, you know? Totally relatable, right?
All those mixed feelings of inadequacy when compared to Michael and the uncertainty when spending time with him are not happy or healthy ways to feel in a relationship.
You have to broach the subject, with them both, and Michael has something to say immediately.
“We are not in competition. I can assure you Adam loves us both in different ways, in equal measure.”
But he’s not Adam half the time. He’s you! You’re not Adam, you don’t love me, I don’t know how to behave around you.
“Are you certain you are human?”
What?
“Humans are not the most astute. However, sometimes you are as dense as osmium.”
Are you calling me stupid?!
“I urge you to stop and consider your words for a moment. I find it incredibly upsetting and frankly offensive that you believe me to be so incapable of loving you, as foolish and naïve as you may be.”
Adam knew, the whole time. The whole damn time.
He just needed the two of you to figure it out on your own first.
There’s a lot of conversation to be had between the three of you from there.
#supernatural reader insert#supernatural imagine#adam milligan/reader#spn michael#midam/reader#spn michael/reader#gilverrwrites
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sfw minors still do not interact; childhood encounter, hybrid!reader. Pt. 1 of something I may continue I dunno 1.3k
Hearing crying in the hospital wasn’t abnormal by any stretch of the word, usually quieter when night falls save for a few that wake with a start for one reason or another. Alone and frightened in a cold and unfamiliar place even if they’d been here for more than a few days.
Most of the patients on this wing were here for an extended stay. Recovering from quirk awakening accidents, orphaned or both as a result to the latter.
But the crying you hear now is subdued, shuddered breaths as if they’re trying not to be heard compared to the other kids that lament from whatever pain ails them or because they’re frightened and seek comfort. Wailing for whoever’s attention they could garner but this sniffling is different.
Quiet; muffled, but you can hear it.
Slinking through the halls with your keen ears piqued, twitching and flicking for any sound that wasn’t the usual settling rooms in the nighttime or the gentle whirr and occasional clatters of the old air ducts.
Until you across him, the boy you’d seen admitted a few days ago barefoot and covered in blood with a haunted look to him. Pushing the door open slightly wider quietly to get a better view into the room, curiosity getting the better of you already and all Tenko sees at first is glowing eyes through a cracked door before you push it all the way open.
“Are you alright?” And he just pulls his knees closer to his chest, scratching at his throat and his eyes and he scoots back when you come closer, “it’s scary here at night I know. Do you want me to sit with you?” Reaching out and he almost hyperventilates how quickly he gasps and draws in ragged breath as he tries to move away.
“I’ll kill you”
A head tilt but no discouragement is found, “Why would you do that?”
And in that moment, the worst night of his very young life plays over again within his minds eye. All flashing in quick succession, the time between the both of you spanning only mere seconds but it feels longer than that to him. Tenko remembers the whine of Mon-chan, the horrified look on his sister's face when she happened upon the scene and the sound Hana had made the moment she drew her final breath at his hand.
He blinks and it shifts, shifts to his mother finding him next and how Tenko cried for her. Reached out for her and she reached back even as her skin cracked and bones broke away from her body. Crumbling to dust by the time she’d made it to him but still she’d made it, though it was far from comforting as the remnants of his beloved mother dust over his mop of inky locks. The beginnings of it all graying in the moments that follow as their yard splintered beneath his hands.
Until his father found him next. More horrified than his five year old boy but still the wretch held no sympathy for Tenko. Why would he? As many times as he’d punished him in the first place for simply being even as his son pleaded. Watery voice choking on his own tears and vomit as Kotaro struck and scarred him before Tenko willingly led his father to the same accidental demise as the rest of his family.
And you have no way of knowing any of that, so of course you’ll still carelessly draw closer to him. Coming into the light that seeps from his curtains and he scratches harder.
“Did I make you mad? M sorry if I did, I was just checkin on you. Nobody else is awake or heard if you’re embarrassed I found you.” You even make a show of rolling the soft ear that already twitched between your thumb and forefinger as if to further prove your point, “m the only one that heard, promise.”
Even with that misplaced reassurance and placating, Tenko shakes his head as he sits up straighter like he was trying to move away from you, forgetting he’d curled up against the wall next to his hospital bed. He feels like the bile will rise again the closer you get, burning his throat already and the acrid taste doesn’t subside no matter how many times he swallows. Resorting to hiding by burying his face in his knees and he grips tightly at his legs before he scratches there too because the distress only worsened the crawling feeling beneath his epidermis.
“I don’t mean to. I don’t want to,” soft, muffled and the slightest bit warbled from tears unshed.
You falter before you smile, coming closer to sit right next to him, reaching for his hand only for him to jerk away like he’d gotten too close to a flame. Shoving both of his hands between his legs as he lets his feet slide against the polished flooring.
A frown mars your features but you’re still not deterred by him, tilting to be within his view as you apologize, “M sorry. You don’t like to be touched?”
Tenko can only shake his head again, turning to look in the other direction, out the sheer curtains covering his window, anywhere instead of at you as he speaks under his breath. Barely audible over the sound of his nails raking aggressively against the skin at the inside of his knees.
“If you touch my hand you’ll crumble to pieces.”
A silence falls and he can only glance over for a moment, just barely enough to get a peek of your reaction before looking away once more. Catching the glimpse of your face screwed up in thought, mistaking it for distaste. Disgust.
Fear
He was used to all of those things now, experiencing many of them from his father but even more now during his short stay at this hospital thus far since being found by Eraserhead. Heaving a sigh far too bereft for someone his age while letting his head loll against the wall as he continues to look away before he feels your fingers wrap around his wrist anyway. Jarring Tenko and a strangled gasp catches in his throat as your pinkie loops with his before resting it on the floor between you both with a wide childish grin.
“This is fine right? Since it’s not your hand technically,” as you make a show of squeezing his pinky tighter with yours, tail swishing to the opposite side of you, “looks like it, I’m still in one piece! Since I can’t hold your hand, a pinky should be okay right?”
Tenko is baffled, almost too stunned to speak but he breaks the silence with a whisper, “why do you want to hold my hand?”
You tilt your head, brow quirked before you look ahead of you. At a wall with only hospital charts and cliche posters instead of it being decorated with ‘get well soon cards’ from the other kids at the hospital. None like the friendly gifts meant to comfort and soothe to be found, unlike the many the boy with white hair wrapped in so many bandages he almost looked like a mummy that sleeps down the hall from this room had.
None from family either, which you find odd but you can assume quickly from your surroundings that he no longer had any. Even the boy who sleeps will have a few visitors sporadically, other children accompanied by a woman with hair as white as snow just like his. Sometimes even a man built like a giant compared to your own size stalks the halls, looming outside of the room but never enters.
You think you’ve seen him cry a few times but you’re not sure, he snarls quickly if he feels people looking at him before stomping to the exit again.
So you only shrug at Tenko, the back of your head gently resting against the wall your backs are to before it lolls to the side to look at him. Soft smile full of an innocence only a child could have.
“Holding hands makes people feel better when they’re sad n’you looked like you needed it.”
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If Witty Girl came to see Crane genuinely upset about something (something external to their arrangement) would he comfort her? If so, how? What would he say? ......if so...maybe a couple of sentences of drabble.... please 🥹🥹🥹🖤
His powers of observation were as keen as ever as he takes in the obvious red rim which surrounds your eyes and the slight blotchiness that decorates your cheeks as you approach the bottom of the basement stairs.
"You're upset."
The words are offered without a hint of sympathy, instead he looks almost amused by the mild distress as your gaze fixes to his wire-rimmed glasses.
"I was earlier." You answer, as honest as ever in your interactions. "But not any more."
"Would I be safe in assuming that your ire is not directed at me?"
"Yes."
"Excellent. Is it a health issue or a similar issue which may concern me?"
"No. I ruined something of mine earlier." The confession comes easily as you rub your fingers along the fabric of your thin shirt. "It was a pair of gloves."
The change to his expression is miniscule but you catch it; his eyes widening in surprise before a subtle smirk plays on the corners of his thin lips.
"A simple pair of gloves garnered this type of response?"
Feeling the need to defend your response, your teeth appear to worry your top lip as you explain your reaction further.
"They were a gift from a friend who is no longer with us."
Thoughts drifting, you squeeze your bare palms against the thick coat which sits over your hips and blink away the temptation to dwell on them.
"Sentiment." His russet hair jiggles in place for a moment as he shakes his head. "If you require replacement gloves then you can take a pair from the basement. I keep multiples as part of my ensemble."
Surprise alights in your chest at the offer.
"Thank you," you start tentatively, "but these were thick gloves for the outdoors, not rubber or medical gloves."
"Clearly." A curtness, laced with amusement, enters his tone. "I doubt a friend would purchase latex gloves as a gift. My gloves vary between leather and other robust materials which I need for my work."
"Oh, sor-"
"You are welcome to try them, however, you may find the sizing difficult."
The significance of such an offer is not lost on you. Crane was notoriously selfish in both his demands and his possessions, so for him to willingly part with something which holds even a little significance for him is a decision which causes a wicked fondness to rise within your chest.
"Thank you, Dr. Crane."
"Jonathan." He corrects; his voice too quick and insistent to be ignored.
Amending your thanks, you taste his name like a fine wine as your lips wrap around it.
"Jonathan."
#jonathan crane#scarecrow#jonathan crane x reader#scarecrow x reader#witty girl#gotham rogues#batman villains#another quickie for fictober#fictober
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Seeing you talk about Movie!Sonic is so funny, because I could blab on for literal hours about how the characterization of Movie!Sonic is so good because he's just a kid and he's still learning and because he was alone for so long he clings to his new family and how his and Tom's relationship is just aadbhalsdjijhde and how he makes so many references because pop culture was all he had for 10 years and how the death of Longclaw still affects him to this day and how he was able to connect with Knuckles on a deeper level because of their shared loss and how he grows and changes through the influence of his parents and brothers and how he lived alone for 10 years surviving by himself and still managed to remain positive and how he purposely didn't run to San Fransisco by himself because he didn't want to leave earth just yet to be even more alone for the rest of his life and how he was able to encourage Tails and immediately adopted him and how he gave up the power of the emeralds to be with his family and how he was ready to KILL Eggman on sight the second the showed back up again and how he grew in between the first and second movie because he's a growing boy and finally has good nutrition and how he's so CUTE and FLUFFY and asdakdsjh
And you're like, "He's so annoying though."
And you know what? Valid. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
It's all good, on a surface level, I get that the whole "found family" scenario is a cute one.
But as a long time appreciator of this series, it's difficult for me to swallow that while knowing what makes Sonic Sonic is that he's not bogged down by negative emotions or insecurities. At least, not like THIS.
Sonic's someone who isn't bothered by being alone. In fact, he almost enjoys it maybe more than being in crowds. He likes meeting new people and interacting with them but he values his time with himself and just experiencing what life has to offer at his own speed. He was never afraid to explore, to go out into the world and see new horizons no matter what joys or dangers it'll bring.
And let me get even more controversial; I did not care for the owl mom. She had barely any screen time to warm up to her and give her a character beyond "Parental figure who dies in the first five minutes of the movie to garner cheap sympathy points from the audience".
Also why wasn't she.....structured like the usual Sonic character? I...
ogrinfalkn.kfejrnflka;snmkjlsnlsnlsdkadlad
I get there's an "arc" but it's a forced one. They HAD to force it to make him bonding with Tom and Maddie like they're his parents make sense. Again, using contrived plot points to lazily get from point A to point B with the basic structure they copy and pasted from other road trip movies like this. And a "character arc" that also lazily gets thrown on top of it.
I don't know. Cute moments just isn't enough to justify this for me as a viewer. I know this may come off as me being just cynical but it's more that I've been wise to the ways Hollywood uses dirty, cheap tricks to manipulate the audience's emotions to make things seem deeper than it really is. And it's just been getting worse. (especially in MCU movies pheewwwwwwwww)
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watched witcher 3x03 and it really is just like. this show continues to lurch wildly from scene to unconnected scene. which could work if they were written and costumed and acted well enough that each vignette was compelling in its own right, so that you wanted to keep watching even though nothing quite hangs together or makes sense yet? but they really. aren't.
and they keep introducing all these bit characters, i guess in an attempt to convey that geralt has History and Connections, but it's just feeling to me like, why are we foregrounding all these interactions that should have been background. did i really need to learn all these names.
also i continue to feel like ciri is just. too old. like fundamentally you can't take the naïveté and petulance of a child, or teenager at most, and paste them unaltered onto a twenty-something and expect to garner the same level of sympathy for her! also like. minor point but if they're on the run would she really be religiously applying her clumpy little maybelline every morning. she looks more overtly made up than most of the adult characters on the show, and like, i know we're in fantasyland and not any actual specific historical time period but it does feel distractingly anachronistic to me nonetheless.
also like. you're really asking me to believe that surly taciturn traumatized geralt would open up to this random 'friend of his mother's' about his childhood. like. i get that, again, we're attempting to establish that Geralt Has History, but like. you can't just have him infodump without any consideration of what he's like or who he's talking to??? like—i understand that we basically gave up on any notion of consistent characterization for him, or even a clear throughline to an evolving characterization, after s1, but. why is he opening up to this random druidess as if she were yennefer. what is happening.
like do i want to see jaskier's big gay romance (which based on radovid's beleaguered-weasel characterization so far i cannot imagine doing anything but going up in flames in the back half of the season??? like, clearly radovid is going to fuck them over the second he's caught in a political bind, the only question imo is whether jaskier also fucks them over)? yes. but is the rest of this worth sitting through? extremely debatable.
did love vespula's dress, ditto jaskier's costuming. also yennefer's struggle to balance who she knows how to be in an aretuzan context vs who she wants to be for ciri (and for herself?) was compelling (although, again, i'm really struggling to buy the idea of her as mother to ciri when the two actresses have, like, a seven-year age difference. like i get that it's found family and not literal but. it just doesn't ring true, i'm sorry). but on the whole this really was just. a jumble.
also emhyr is just not icily intimidating enough. like he's supposed to be this always-five-steps-ahead omnipotent manipulator or whatever, as i understand it, but even setting other versions of canon aside, this version of the story needs him to be that! and instead he's like. a potatoface in a molded plastic breastplate. action figure villain.
also okay this really is the last thing but. what is up with all this 'the evil mages all have their faces grotesquely burnt off' shit. can we not do better by real live people with facial differences than that.
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My thoughts on Thursdays episode:
Wait Wait Wait...why didn't we get a follow up on how everyone reacted to the Nik being esme's baby daddy news??? I wanted to see Spencer's disappointed disgust, Ava trying to beat tf outta of him but being held back by Dante and him going "OKAY what the fuck is wrong with this family?? My god." Trina trying to calm ava down and Laura berating Nikolas.
So from what I'm getting heather is either a copy cat killer or the writers are just so lazy that they gave up on trying to decide who's the hook so they made it heather.🥴
Trina called Curtis to tell him to check in with her mom because Portia is apparently having a hard time about Britt's death??? Portia said her and Britt were friends but I don't even remember them interact much at all. Like am I missing something???🙈
Dante pointing out all the reasons why it couldn't be Esme are the exact reasons why it shouldn't be heather either. Like y'all telling me that Heather took down a cop and military vet.🤨 Like bffr. Also Dante must think Nikolas is in love with Esme because what other reasons would he think that Nikolas would be out hooking people for her.🥴
So I'm split down the middle on whether Esme is faking her amnesia or not. I could use the argument of believing she's faking it by saying she isn't fully behaving how she usually does so she can come across as innocent and garner sympathy but then there was that moment with Kevin where you see her trying to figure out why he seems so familiar to her and you also saw a little bit of her snark peek through when she told him she wasn't stupid and knew what kind of doctor he was.
Honestly Avery pohl is such a good actor because I'm so torn on what to believe. Like it could be the writers are most likely either trying to do a redemption arc for her via an amnesia sl or their having Esme doing what Esme does best and gaslighting people to get her way.
If there's one thing martin is going to do it's defend crazy bitches.😂
Esme asking to let Liz stay got me like "🤨" it just feels like she's trying to lull Liz into a false sense of security.
Heather talking about Franco never had kids made me go "You know what Franco should've knocked up one of his past groupies and they should've had made Esme his long lost daughter.🤷"
Once again Nikolas...PREGNANT WOMEN GO TO JAIL ALL THE TIME!!! Nikolas is the king of idiots.🙃
Martin is really just like us because he's fed up with his idiot nephew as well.
Ryan really is delusional because he should know damn well heather would probably try to kill ava before letting her be apart of their little demented family.🥴
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Friendly reminder, "banter" is to "talk or exchange remarks in a good-humored teasing way" and is not one person being catty, rude, or malicious and the other person just taking it. I really enjoyed Michael and m*ria’s banter in season 1 but since the point they hooked up in season 1 she has not had anything nice, kind, or even neutral to say to or about him, and most importantly, especially in these first 2 episodes, we don’t see him bantering back. He just takes the criticism and snark and continues with what he’s saying. We aren’t seeing that “fun banter” that we got in season 1, we are still just seeing m*ria being snappy, talking down to Michael, and being catty about Alex when we know that SHE knows at the very least that Alex has been out of town and nowhere near Michael. Plus given that we’ve already seen her saying she wanted to marry Alex, and after what happened in 2x06 with her trying to force Michael to choose her over Alex, her having any kind of snappy response about when Alex and Michael are getting married especially when she knows they aren’t even together is just deeply uncomfortable and comes off as a really catty and mean thing for her to say, and it’s made all the more so by Michael’s reaction which was not to laugh and joke about it and banter back but to mention that she’s making things awkward. I don’t know what the reasoning is behind doubling down on her character acting this way, but it is a really bad look and I don’t see any way they can fix it at this point. It’s either going to be who she is and how she acts for the rest of the show, or, they are going to try and handwave it away with either a personality transplant that no one mentions, or tie it to her mind deteriorating to garner sympathy but given that no one has called her out for it or mentioned that she’s acting weird means it’s hard to buy that as a reason. Anyway, I’m not sure what I’m dreading more, that they just won’t address this at all, or that they will address it and handle it poorly. They really had the opportunity to subtly deal with last season by not having Michael or Alex interact with her, which easily could have happened until the roof scene, but they are making a point to have Alex mentioning her, putting her with Greg of all people, and having Michael thanking Max for keeping an eye on her like she is in any capacity his responsibility, especially given that we were told in episode 1 that she hasn’t seen him around so they haven’t been interacting. I’m just...baffled by these choices and I am dreading everything about her character that we have been shown coming up/
#roswell nm#season 3 spoilers#anti maria deluca#2x06 mention#can you believe people are still referring to their scenes as 'm*luca' scenes?#and that their banter is cute and fun?#like???#michael is clearly not having a good time talking to her this season at all#he looks so uncomfortable and unhappy in all of their interactions#what about that says cute or fun to you?!
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THIS. THIS here is the reason Momiji’s dad is near the very top of my ‘shitty fruba parents’ list.
I’ve always instinctively hated Momiji’s dad, but not been able to dissect exactly why, so here’s my attempt:
First of all, I don’t really blame him for going ahead with the decision to erase his wife’s memories, it was definitely a difficult decision, but seemed like their only option at the time. But his actions after - god, they make me think he really is the scum of the earth.
Before he allows her memories to be erased, he promises this to Momiji:
But!! What do we know that he does? He ditches Momiji to the main estate (Momiji is said to have been raised by the main estate people and occasionally Hatori), and warns and presumably berates Momiji every time he is even WITHIN SIGHT of his mother and Momo.
How DARE he say he loves Momiji!!! Are these the actions of a father who loves his son?? You BET if I had to do something half as devastating as derive a boy of all his family EXCEPT ME, I would spent EVERY SINGLE SPARE MOMENT trying to make up for it. But what does Momiji’s dad do? He is so desperate to cling to his “happy family life” that he sees his son as nothing more than a “threat”, and ONLY interacts with him if it’s to warn him away from HIS OWN MOTHER AND SISTER.
It’s also extremely disgusting how he uses kind words to guilt trip his son. All these words about how he “loves” Momiji and is “really sorry” serve only make MOMIJI feel terrible about his actions, and NOT because his dad actually means any of the stuff he says. Most of the parents in fruba are shitty, but they’re shitty in obvious, outward ways. Momiji’s dad is shitty in a way that garners sympathy from both the viewers and the in-world characters, when in fact he is JUST AS CRUEL for essentially abandoning and neglecting his kid, and guilt tripping him for even WANTING a relationship with his family. He’s cruel in a way that doesn’t allow Momiji to retaliate, because the poor kid probably doesn’t even realise his father is mistreating him, just because of his carefully chosen, placating words.
I just can’t STAND watching this bastard have his perfect home life whilst he offloads all the burden to his fifteen year old son.
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Hey guys, I was having thoughts on the meta-side of the Dream SMP. Okay, so we know that Technoblade has done much of the scripting for this present arc, Tommy, Dream and Quackity have also done some in collaboration, presumably doing each of their own characters and motivations, and Tubbo and Fundy have also been involved too. Uh, this will be rambly as it’s a lot of unsorted observations.
Obviously these are my thoughts, and ideas purely based on my observations as a viewer but you can definitely tell that they’re all very aware of the fanbase and are likely very influenced by them. I could see this even in the Pogtopia arc where Tommy started reusing phrases before when debating ethics with Wilbur, eg ‘let’s lose as winners, not win as losers.’ or something along those lines and how Techno made a callback to his only universal language is violence speech in his wither monologue.
But wow, the scripting is definitely becoming a lot more obvious in this new season of the SMP. Not a bad thing at all, by the way, it’s just a difference. Clearly they’ve gotten more detailed plans and are more ambitious with what they convey in minecraft, with more players taking inspiration from Wilbur after how well he executed it. It’s also the difference in how the various people write, I’m sure.
Tommy and Tubbo have streamed the SMP for the longest and have very gradually evolved into the roleplaying and their respective approaches to it are very interesting. Tubbo’s streams are typically chill and usually involve him working on some sort of project - he’s very chaotic when with other people but is usually very reactionary when it comes to the roleplaying - doing most of his best stuff when bouncing off Tommy, or occasionally Quackity. On his own he doesn’t like to lead bits but is among the best at making other people’s bits work. Same with the RP! His character’s in a weird spot right now as the other writer’s seem to be writing him in quite an unflattering way and he doesn’t do solo, emotional performances all that much meaning he’s less sympathetic right now then he really should be. Like, Tommy garnered loads of sympathy during his exile as he gave a very expressive performance where Tubbo’s character also presumably feels very isolated and alone and he’s being manipulated by the people around him but he gives a lot less. This has made it easier for the audience to start siding more with Technoblade, the literal mass-murderer, over the traumatised kid who was manipulated into exiling his best friend and continues to face terrible choices with no good options.
While I can of course make less meta theories on why Tubbo should be appreciated more and what it says he’s got no real support and is compartmentalising his problems, in the end it’s how his streams work. Tubbo does plot related streams, and he does streams where he simply vibes - and even in the serious streams, he can joke around and cheerfully lampshade the goofiness by doing things like joking about wanting a good review from Techno while kidnapping him - that stuff is priceless and does not fit into the melodramtic scripts but it adds so much to the SMP and why it is so much fun to watch. Tubbo’s really good at making content better! He’s not afraid to look ridiculous, he will also unapologetically avoid engaging in too much melodrama himself when he doesn’t feel like it. I consider his character highly underrated in the plot right now.
Tommy knows what he’s doing. Even before the roleplaying really took off, Tommy liked to play a character and lead bits and the SMP shifting in a more scripted direction suited him exceptionally well. Tommy focuses heavily on streams with lots of content, only rarely doing more chill stuff - especially more recently. He has always approached streams with a plan - but usually their extremely loose and he has said that he’d sometimes just come up with an idea 10 minutes before the stream and improvise from there. Tommy’s good at improvising and seems to work best with a very loose plan. Where I think Techno likely came up with the plan for Tommy to get exiled from L’Manburg and then join forces with him, Tommy likely filled in how to play his character and - wow.
Tommy’s writing seems to be incredibly simple - each exile stream had no major plot points or anything and the plans that are there don’t even make logical sense (let’s throw a party in one day and let’s invite everyone but have Dream not send out the invitations so no one shows up - and I’m going to do this even with Philza and Fundy literally in the call.) but Tommy pulled every one of them off very well and proved to be compelling enough that no one cared at all whether the plot made sense nor did Tommy make much effort to justify that sort of thing - ‘cause he knows how the SMP works and how much the audience will go along with it. And instead, Tommy focused entirely on his characterisation and spent all his time exploring it. That’s how Tommy works - very simple plans, then improv in character into an engaging bit. He’s managed to pull off the most ridiculous things like that, and has confidence that the other streamers will support it - that’s how he’s prepared to try insane things like pretending to be Clarencio the llama. And, like Tubbo, he’s always willing to throw for content.
Then there’s Technoblade. He’s streamed the SMP a lot less - though he’s done so much more recently - but he’s spent a lot more time playing on the SMP, doing tons of grinding. He here for the RP but is also committed to playing the game itself very optimally. He seems to have a much larger view, taking in the bigger picture, of the story where Tommy has a very personal view. His approach to content is all about the fanservice.
He’s always trying to create big epic, moments, that both look and sound awesome. Like the butcher’s army plotline which let him both seem like an underdog, a victim against a mean group, and also an incredible badass figure who outplayed them all and came out as victorious. The butcher’s army were really given an antagonists role there, and were really made to seem unlikeable. Then he met up with fan-favourite Tommy and suggested a team-up with him. (This is also leading to the ultimate fanservice that is the Sleepybois team-up.) Techno’s got a very, dry self-aware sens of humour too and he’ll often make simple meta observations about the SMP - like noting that the pacing’s fast or teasing in the chat in the middle of wars. He’s also made himself into a bit of a meme what with logging just to say his name and leave.
I don’t know how much it’s just Techno of course, but the plot really seems to be heading in a direction that suggesting that Technoblade was Right. L’Manburg’s seeming corrupt, and Tommy is being seen as Theseus. At the time Techno first made the Theseus speech, I felt like the comparison seemed unfair - but now it’s like the plot itself has bent over to make the comparison make sense, and Techno’s one of the writers of the script. Techno also of course, prepared a vault to show Tommy so he could say ‘welcome home Theseus dramatically - total fanservice as fans were indeed talking about how cool saying a line would be, and then he absolutely did. The way Techno calls his viewers chatting as the voices in his head is also fanservice. It’s not like actually true, as Techno ignores the chat if they tell him information his character doesn’t know and meanwhile all the streamers interact with their chat too - so all chats have always been a part of the story and calling them canon is absolutely meaningless. Not a bad thing though - it is nice and makes the fans happy and makes them feel included. I don’t know if this sounds critical by the way - it’s not meant as such at all - all the streamers love engaging with the fandom, and Techno’s approach to giving lots of fanservice by providing so many epic moments is great. I just wanted to highlight it.
And those were some meta thoughts on the SMP right now and its writing. I don’t really think I had a point or argument. I just wanting to make some observations and my impressions. If you’re curious I am course a Tommy fan first. I love how he’s evolved with the SMP most of all and I appreciate his character-driven storytelling. His main weakness is probably getting too into bits and going too far and it’s so nice that the SMP is a place where even his weaker ideas are supported rather than shut down. I like how he’s able to improv so well and simply how he streams. Perhaps unsurprisingly, I love Tubbo best when he’s with Tommy as they bring the best performances out of each other. I find Techno interesting as a contrast to both of them, as he approaches so many things in such a different way.
#dream smp#tommyinnit#tubbo#technoblade#meta#analysis#long post#i don't know what this was#i should just ask for asks#so i can ramble with more direction#like i have a lot of thoughts#but they're not all as coherent as i'd like
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i’m a simple man i see technoblade and i pog. but after scrolling through most of the takes on the dash i wanna share my thoughts :) kinda long lol
i really liked it! it was a pretty fun stream! i think it dragged and got a bit repetitive during the whole “we’re going to stop you! oh - oh...” thing at the end tho because like the main gist of that was just. the egg is more powerful than any of these guys, which probably could have been established faster? like the two with the most impact were hannah switching sides + telling the eggpire abt the armor and foolish trying and failing to smite the egg, because that led to him taking eret’s place. it was ridiculous though, which was fun enough to make it pretty much a non-issue.
i think q coming in was cool, and i see a lot of people being bummed abt skeppy not being mentioned at all. which i kinda agree with. but i think this was really impactful (as long as you know bbh) just because through quackity’s repetition that the egg CLEARLY isn’t giving him anything it’s made obvious to the audience that EVERYONE knows this - like, bad would know if he wasn’t gaining anything (he’s not stupid!), so there must be some motivation the other characters aren’t aware of. which we know! it’s skeppy! it’s so obviously skeppy! bad is with the egg because of skeppy, which makes it frustrating - for us and for him - for quackity and everyone else to just not see that, and to not even try to see that. it reinforces this conflict between them and garners sympathy for bad, and i think it creates this really interesting character dynamic precisely because it seems like q really does care about bad! (like, if you care about him so much, why aren’t you trying to see his side?)
however. we’ve seen an interaction like this two or three times now - it doesn’t develop much, it just reinforces what was already there. it would have been really cool if bad spoke up and told quackity why he was still with the egg (and for q to actually listen), or if skeppy appeared - or honestly if anything changed? but most of these characters came into the banquet with the same amount of knowledge they had leaving it. it’s still us v them, with little sympathy from either side.
as for techno. i cant speak bad of him so sorry if this is biased. but i thought him allying with q did one really important thing: it showed just how much of a threat the egg was. for techno to get involved with the guy that used state violence to execute him? it shows how dangerous people think it is! and that probably puts a little too much focus on techno Within the egg arc - like, if THIS guy cares enough, well then it’s ACTUALLY a threat! - and tbh idk if im a huge fan of that. i am like a designated technoblade stan though so i wont lie and say that i didn’t get really excited when he showed up, and honestly i do hope he gets more involved just from a syndicate perspective? like, the egg is a massive, oppressive threat, and it would be weird if the Anarchist Book Club didn’t do anything about it. i wish hed have brought weapons for niki. theyre allies :( i just hope that if techno does get involved it’s a little more balanced, which might be difficult considering how different their rp styles are (campy vs nonchalant).
(omg tho. bad after the banquet reconsidering everything was such a good moment)
ok overall i am sad the eggpire lost! i wish they had a big win now that would necessitate someone else coming in like q and techno did later. maybe if they killed some more people. maybe if the smp members shed a little more skin. you know. i was hoping for this to be the coin drop dream was talking abt a little while ago but i guess not T_T it was a fun stream! but i wish more happened
#now#srsnss#also ranboo. what the fuck was the skin come on big man what the hell#is this organized. not really!
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Shadow and bone afterthoughts, spoilers for show and books beneath the cut
Ok, first some rambling. I felt a bit disappointed directly after watching the show, with how prettied up Malina was and how underdeveloped Darklina felt, but after rewatching, I really don’t know where I got that feeling from. If anything, it’s the other way round, but all in all I feel pretty good about the show.
I never liked Mal in the books, but show!mal? A sweetheart. Ride or die for Alina. The mutual yearning had me awwing a lot, Archie’s performance is wonderful. I hope he lets his locks grow out next season, he really deserves fancier hair.
I’m still not invested in Malina, but I know I’ll feel much better about their endgame in the show than their ending in the books. I get what the stans see in them. The show is obviously saving some of their more important moments for the next seasons, but more on that later.
Darklina too is very different from the books, and at first I felt a little underwhelmed. It goes hard fast, with less build up than expected, but their intensity is spot on and I love this new version of them. Book!Darkling is more aloof and composed, and whenever Alina makes him lose that composure, he is angry about it. Show!Darkling though? Loves her and has no regrets about it. Cries every time Alina looks at him. So happy to have her. A jealous bitch, and valid. Gets his girl flowers and steals dating advice from his rival.
Ben Barnes is an artist, when he improvised that second kiss in the war room?! I died.
Alina herself takes more action in both relationships than her book counterpart, which I love. She’s DETERMINED, whether it’s about following Mal into the fold or snogging her dark prince. Her soft, tender looks are to die for, I get why Kirigan tears up every time. And, ahem. That look she gave him during her performance at the fete? Hot.
Points I didn’t quite like:
They made Malina a little too ideal, in my opinion. I feel like there’s too little room for development, especially if the next season keeps the course of the second book. I like that they took away some of Mal’s worst moments, like his jealous little fit at the fete and all that, but they glossed over most of his other flaws too. His wariness of the Grisha is dropped pretty quickly, and most of his character now revolves around Alina. They took away the parts where Mal is more promiscuous, and oblivious of Alina, which makes his “but I see you now” line feel undeserved. His tryst with Zoya was given to Kirigan instead, and his popularity and charisma compared to Alina’s mousiness fell a little flat. They’re taking away a lot of possible conflict material, which makes me scared they’ll go stale and stagnant too soon. He also didn’t have any emotional arcs of his own, his side plot is pretty boring save for the final moments. I do like how they are setting up his heritage and skills already, though, and there’s still time for development in the next season.
It’s been a while since I read the book, but I do think Alina and the Darkling communicated more about amplifiers and the stag, back then. The hunt for it was a mutually wanted thing, not something the darkling did behind her back. I liked Alina’s ambition, I don’t want the show to make her all pure and humble. The drama about it felt too sudden and random, but that’s just my personal opinion.
I felt bad about the Darkling’s changes at first, mostly because it seemed the show wanted to nerf Darklina before it got too powerful. Alina’s parents falling to the fold instead of the Tsar’s constant wars screams unnecessary, his lack of the Darkling title and openness with his name disappointed me a little. Then again, this darkling is less of a cold commander and more of a respected leader here; I like how he interacts with his Grisha. It really hammers home how much he cares about them, his interaction with David made me crack up.
The name reveal was too little, too soon, but it’s consistent with Kirigan’s “openness” and I’ll get over it. I talked about the amplifier thing here, so I’m not gonna go into more detail again.
Something makes me wonder though, and it’s his dialed down evilness. The Darkling in the books was cruel and impersonal in battle, and Novokribirsk demonstrated that perfectly. Which is fine! I like the darkling villainous too, but that’s not what we see here.
In the show, Kirigan doesn’t... do all that much evil stuff, actually. He keeps the hunt for the stag from Alina, I guess? I would have liked more emphasis on his exact plans there.
He reads and keeps her letters too, but that’s petty manipulation and not grand-scale evilness. His great sin, the fold, was an accident and later a safeguard for his kind, and his attack on Novokribirsk felt kinda justified in the shows context.
Book Novokribirsk was a starving village full of innocent civilians, and its destruction was a calculated sacrifice to the darkling. I felt bad for their deaths.
In the show, however, it’s an industrialized city and military headquarters of an enemy who tried to kill Alina, and would have tried again if the skiff had docked as planned. That’s just not as tragic, it doesn’t garner as much sympathy.
It’s destruction isn’t just for show and effect, it’s not a needlessly cruel “sacrifice”.
It’s an act of war against a scheming general and his forces. The innocent rest of the city perished too, sure, but the only real connotation the audience has with that city is general Zlatan and his supporters. That waters down the evil-level of it, from a narrative perspective.
The antler thing looks... uncomfortable, but Alina got rid of that pretty soon so there’s not even the lasting reminder of the book!collar. Alina takes Kirigan’s hand and stands up to receive it, giving her a bit more agency too. (Probably wouldn’t have mattered if she had refused, but that’s not what the audience gets to see)
Kirigan doesn’t plan to execute Mal or to make Alina watch; another one of the Darkling’s villain moments. He’s pretty soft actually, compared to his book version.
Which gives me both hope and apprehension.
Either they’re doing that on purpose, in order to divert from the books, which seems unlikely but not impossible. Maybe they’re planning to let him live at the end of the third season, he gets revived in later books anyway.
Or his downward spiral has only just begun, and they’re saving the big things for later.
I hope they decide early on whether to keep the darkling redeemable, by mainstream standards, or to go all out with his evilness, because I don’t want a middle path. If he’s a better man than in the books and still dies, I can’t handle it. If his death is still what they are aiming at, I have to feel like he deserved it and there was no other way.
No more “redemption in death” scenarios please. Either embrace the villainy or give him a happy ending, just be decisive.
My heart can’t handle more tragedy, I’m a crybaby.
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That last thing I reblogged- I don't know the author or the book. But I will tell you this.
A couple years ago, a book I co-wrote (with my wife) became a finalist for a LGBTQ-specific literary award. We were super excited to get the nod (even attended the award ceremony), especially for the particular book that earned it, which was a story about characters we had been playing with for over 20 years.
Timeline:
-We got the call from the awards committee telling us we finaled
-We got an email from our publisher congratulating us
-Several readers and other authors took to twitter to talk about how horrible it was that a bunch of "straight women" were nominated for the award
-Someone went out of their way to tag me and several other authors into the convo. I had twenty fucking minutes to enjoy something that should have felt like a success, before someone went out of their way to make sure I knew that I wasn't welcome in my own community spaces.
It wasn't a discussion about problematic things in the books. It was a bunch of people saying it was bad that we were nominated, that we didn't have a right to tell those stories, that we should be ashamed for submitting the work for consideration. That we weren't queer enough to tell queer stories. Again- this had nothing to do with the story, with anything people found problematic or unrealistic about the work. This was a group of people discussing why I, as a person (a person who does actually credential myself as queer in my twitter bio, btw, even though I hate the -concept- so. fucking. much.), was not welcome to tell my own queer stories in queer spaces and be considered for queer awards.
And whatever, right? Sure, a growing group of people said they'd never buy any of my books because "straight women should shut up" (which, hi, suuuuuper not cool in its own right, but you're entitled to your opinion, whatevs) and a bunch of other shit that I've tried really hard not to remember.
My point here isn't woe is me- it's that a bunch of other people went out of their way to make sure I knew they disliked ME, they questioned MY validity and worth as a member of the LGBTQ community, and they did it because I have a public twitter profile where I interact with people as an author. (Which again, they didn't actually LOOK at.) They did it without caring how I got to where I was, how long I'd worked to be able to tell queer stories as a queer person. And if I'd defended myself at all, I would have been the problem. These people were actively taking away my space and success AS A QUEER PERSON, while pretending to act in the interest of queer people.
As someone with mental health issues that don't need exploring at this juncture, seeing people say that I PERSONALLY should be silenced, that I PERSONALLY should shut the fuck up, should stop writing, should stop PRETENDING I had the right to literally tell the stories of my own existence, it was deeply upsetting. The closest thing to a threat of physical violence (thankfully) was someone saying people needed to be slapped.
On a writing level? It fucked me up. Like a typical neurotic writer, I have scads of Imposter Syndrome, and something that felt so cruel and isolating, so exclusionary, coming out of celebrating a piece of work I made, as a queer person, with my very queer wife, telling a story that literally brought us together, was fucking -shattering-. Our next book still isn't done with edits. (There are other factors there- namely a host of physical health problems that cropped up shortly after all this.) Every time I sit down to work, in the back of my mind I remember that even though I'm out, even though I made an effort to make myself available for discussion and public consumption, I am Not Queer Enough.
And you know the best part? I wouldn't have seen any of it, if someone had not gone out of their way to tag me into the conversation.
It takes zero fucking seconds to not be an asshole.
(I very much am not posting this as a Poor Me thing. It's to share an experience, not to garner sympathy or whatever. Because I'm fucking tired of seeing this happen. You can think whatever the hell you want about my writing, you can think whatever the hell you want about ME. You can discuss it, you can dissect it, you can say I make horrible puns when I'm drunk, and worse ones when I'm sober. But you're not entitled to access to me, or any other writer, just like I'm not entitled to your time as a reader.)
#personal#probably too personal honestly#but here the fuck we are#don't worry i'll be back to talking about billy zabka's dick in a minute
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Day 5 - Believe in Yourself
Throne – Watching the sunrise – “I’m not saying I told you so…”
Unable to sleep, Alden wanders the halls of the Imperial Palace lost in thought. He finds himself in the Grand Hall, confronted with the reality of his imminent position as Emperor. It all feels too much for him, but a surprise visit with his brother cheers him up a bit.
~2500 words
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The quiet, comfortable solitude of night always invigorated him. No teachers, parents, siblings, or peoples to interact with as they all slumbered lifted a burden from his shoulders he never recognized until the weightless feeling after it left. With the world sleeping, he finally had freedom. Freedom to just be rather than be something.
In an effort to avoid waking his wife – wife! – he roamed the halls of the palace, lost in thought. The moon shone brightly through the various openings in the palace’s walls, the windows open for the cool night air to circulate. Idania had insisted on it to reduce stuffy and stagnant air. Servants would be up with the sun to close them all again, the stained glass painting the inner walls in the sunlight. He had no preference either way, something that frustrated her to no end. But with the mental and physical exhaustion of his new role as heir to the Scorpio Crown, he rarely had the energy left for such menial decisions.
A few overnight servants, the ones that swept the floors and straightened carpets and dusted and all the other things that Idania organized for the beautification of the palace. They all started upon seeing him, but he apologized for bothering them and continued wandering. Most attempted to ask if they could help, but he thanked them and proceeded through the grounds. In truth, he had no real destination in mind, just let his feet take him where they would, his mind lost in the weeds of anxiety.
The older members of the council had little faith in him, having hoped to overthrow his mother with news of his status as a bastard and the actions of his brother. They had no care for the circumstances or truth behind either, only desired to seize power. But they also had not put in the time or effort to turn the people to their side, resulting only in ineffectual posturing as the people chanted for the Kil’Jades. Karlina spent time as the grieving mother, spent time rallying the people, spent time garnering sympathy for her children. When Alden returned to them after years missing, thought dead, they people rejoiced. The announcement of Sylvain’s survival met the same raucous applause. The people loved the Empress and her family. The other council members had no chance, so caught up in their petty squabbles, that all they ever managed to do made things worse for the peasantry.
He would have to fight them, fix the problems they crafted to make him look bad, to squelch their powergrabs before they came to light. He remembered the many times he had stumbled into bettering life for the people in Lotuserna with Sylvain’s help. The ripple effect of his small appetite that turned into food banks all over the Lotus Capital had been a startling lesson in economics and goodwill for him. Could he replicate that on his own?
He could always consult with Sophie. She trained in governance from a young age and had the blood of the Queen Mother in her veins. She managed to repair the damages brought by Preminger and his poor advice to her brother Andre in a few months as Queen Regent. Even the rumor of her relationship with a Libra had not sullied her reputation and popularity with her subjects. The Djinn had no head for governing among them, not a single one, though Tristan knew a small village Mayor-in-Training that might be able to give him a good word with the Taurus leadership. He had made an impression on the Grand High Judge in the Libra while Idania made friends with the Clipped down below.
Footsteps echoed around him, jerking him unceremoniously from his thoughts. The Grand Hall stretched out around him, a stage-like dais stretched across the back of the room. The carpet, a rich tapestry of reds, greys, and browns for each of the tribes, fringed with white tassels for the Hibernation Guard. Along the edges sat the tables and stacks of chairs for Council meetings, large dinners, and small parties. A servant clutched his cleaning supplies to his chest, having not expected the Emperor-in-training to have shown up in the middle of the night.
Before he could jump into attempting to serve and impress his master, Alden waved a hand to calm him. “It’s all right. I just couldn’t sleep. Please proceed.”
The man’s eyes practically bulged from his head, his tail quivering behind his head. The next Emperor apologized to him! “I-I was actually just finishing up in here, Your Highness.” He balked, his stinger twitching.
Alden offered the poor man a smile. “Well, don’t let me keep you.”
The man spread his arms in the typical Scorpio show of respect and hurried away, grabbing his bucket on the way.
Once the servant disappeared down the hall, Alden wandered through the hall, his bare feet thumping quietly over the scratchy rug, slapping softly on the polished stone, his tail clicking absently behind. He traced fingers over the long tables, not a speck of dust in sight. How many men and women sat at these tables to fight over how best to frustrate and lead their people? How many would he cycle through over the course of his reign? How many would he have to prove himself to, would he have to remind of his position, would he actually respect?
He reached the steps to the dais. He hesitated and looked up to the thrones that waited there. The large, ostentatious throne in the center, the same design but slightly shorter for the spouse of the Imperial Majesty, then the other smaller three for the clan heads. His right arm ached slightly, a flash of purple in the magical veins, and he curled his hand into a fist.
Soon that throne would belong to him and the one beside it to Idania. His pulled in, his expression dark. He hated the idea that many would slight her for her origins, mock her for starting in an orphanage, and yet faun over her for being the Djinn of Water. He hated the idea that he would have to fight for her, protect her from their lies and politics, that no matter what she did, she would never be right for them. For him, it was normal, but he hated to see the love of his life mistreated in that way.
But with the power of the crown, of the throne behind him, they might learn to keep their mouths shut. He stepped gently over the stone and moved to the largest chair. It loomed over him, not quiet as large as when his father were alive, or the Emperor, or even a few years ago when his mother occupied the chair. He had grown, he surmised, over the years, over his journey. He looked up to the Scorpio crest at the top center of the chair, the three symbols of the clans encircled in the snowflake for the Hibernation Guard. A reminder of unity and over whom all the Emperor ruled and was ruled by.
A lot of power and a lot of responsibility rested in that simple piece of furniture. His fingers graced over the arm, also impeccably dust-free. The servants took their work very seriously. If he ever found it in disarray, if he ever found it to be dusty or streaked from cleaning, would he ever get enraged? Would he take that rage out on the staff?
“Daunting, isn’t it?”
Alden yelped, his tail raised to defend himself. At the back of the dais lie two doors that led to private hallways for the imperial family. Sylvain, his hair an ashen blonde, body hunched and leaned onto an elegant and functional cane, stood in the doorframe to the right. Alden heaved a breath to calm him heart. Sylvain chuckled and limped awkwardly and with great effort toward the chairs. Alden hurried around the chairs and offered to assist his brother. Despite his assumptions, Sylvain gratefully took Alden’s hand and led them to the chair. He gestured and Alden helped lower him into the spousal throne. With a gesture, Sylvain encouraged him to sit in the largest.
“It’s just a chair, you know.” His newly green eyes shimmered playfully in the torchlight.
Alden sighed and shook his head. “But it’s not, is it? I mean, functionally, yes, of course it’s just a chair. But…” He pointed to the Scorpio crest. “It represents so much more.”
Sylvain nodded and placed his hands on the top of his cane. “Do you remember what we were taught about the crest?”
A small chuckle shook the Red Prince. “I do.”
When he did not elaborate further, Sylvain smirked. “You do not.”
Alden rubbed the back of his neck. “Maybe I don’t.”
A raspy chuckle drifted from the older Scorpio. “Then why worry so much? It’s just a piece of art on an overly elaborate piece of furniture.”
The younger brother huffed slightly. “There are those that worship this crest. Those that place trust in what it represents. That fight and die for it. That… will end up being my responsibility. All those people, Scorpio and the Hibernation Guard, will be relying on me to keep the peace in this room, to work toward their dreams and steer the empire true.” Red eyes met green. “I don’t know if I can do it, brother. It’s… it’s a lot. Perhaps too much. I’m sure to fuck it up, somehow.”
Sylvain nodded solemnly with recognition. He knew! He fell to one knee before his brother. “How did you do it? How did you live with the knowledge that it would all fall to you someday? That you would be responsible?”
Ashen eyebrows lifted over tired green eyes. “You think I lived with it?” He sighed slowly and shook his head. “I barely survived. But I had to put on a brave front for those around me. They expected a lot from me and I did what I had to.”
Alden’s shoulders sagged. Memories of their time in the Academy, of all the days Sylvain toiled in the library, or with some private tutor or another, flashed by in an instant. He never gave it much thought then, enjoying his time spent with Valash and Alexander, the days he spent roaming the city with Idania, the days he got caught stealing. No one expected anything of him. He took advantage of that then. Perhaps he should’ve paid more attention, focused more on studies, tried to be a better Prince.
“Doesn’t matter now, anyway.” Sylvain tapped his cane against the polished stone. “Mother has named you the next Emperor. And by the looks of things, you’ll do very well.”
Platitudes and apologies died on his tongue, sputtered out as nonsense. “You think I’ll do well?”
Sylvain gestured to the chair again. “Sit down. You’re making me nervous kneeling like that.” Alden moved without much though and sat in the main throne, focused solely on his brother. Sylvain smiled. “Typically, those that crave power are not very responsible with it. And since you don’t want the power and responsibility, you are more likely to wield it with temperance and kindness.”
The younger brother scoffed. “Please. Spare me. There are plenty that don’t want the throne that would be beyond terrible at it.”
The older man shrugged and slumped back into the chair. “Well, mother won’t stop singing your praises, that’s for sure.” Another scoff. “She seems to think you’re a hero. Won’t stop regaling me with the highly fictionalized versions of your journey after-“ He hesitated briefly. “Phiphi destroyed Lotuserna.”
He rubbed a hand over his face. “Ugh, I’m sorry. I’m sure that’s not very fun for you.”
Sylvain bobbed his head back and forth. “Well, it’s fun to hear all the different versions, at least. How evil some stories make me sound, how heroic others make you sound. It’s also interesting to hear her opinions of Idania change from day to day.”
Alden shook his head and slumped back in the chair. “I wonder if they’ll ever get along.”
Sylvain looked to his brother and grinned with half his face. “There. That’s it.” Alden lifted his brow. “Seeking a diplomatic solution to every situation is paramount.”
“Just because I wish for my wife and my mother to like each other doesn’t mean I have the makings of Emperor.”
“It’s the little things. Little things inform larger things.” Sylvain reached a hand to slap his brother’s arm. “Remember when you couldn’t finish your dinner and the Ambassador ended up opening up food banks all over Lotuserna?”
Warmth spread from the small contact. “I was actually thinking about that earlier! But that was all you and Idania. All I did was have a tiny stomach. But it did make me think. Could I rely on you to be an advisor? And Idania did manage to help all those refugees. And I have connections in other Constellations as well-“
Sylvain smirked. “Look at you being all Imperial.”
Alden shook his head. “You would know, I suppose.”
“I’m not saying I told you so…”
Laughter burbled between the two men, raspy and affectionate, and descended into coughs. After they calmed, Alden reached over to place a hand on his brother’s. “I appreciate it, Sylv. I know I shouldn’t ask this of you, but I can count on you for advice, can’t I?”
The first light of morning peaked through over the horizon and flooded the Grand Hall. Both men started at the sudden brightness, Sylvain closing his eyes. Ophiuchus’s darkness lingered and made his brother sensitive. “Here, we should get you back to your room.”
Sylvain waved a hand. “Shying away from it won’t make me any better. I haven’t seen a proper sunrise in Spirits know how long. I’ve missed it.” Those tired green eyes lifted to Alden’s. “And of course you can rely on my counsel. You’ll need at least one person to tell you when you’re being incredibly stupid.”
-
“Kelara?” The left door behind the dais creaked. Alden lifted his eyes to his wife, her hair a mess, eyes narrowed. “What are you doing in here?”
Warmth filled him again, a different one this kind, as his arm glowed a faint purple. “Kelara! I’m here with Sylvain, actually. Apparently neither of us could sleep.”
She padded across the floor and leaned over to smile at Sylvain. Sylvain attempted a full smile in response, but only half his face seemed to work. “Good morning, Master Sylvain. How are the other healers-”
He held up a hand. “Don’t get me started. For now, I’d just like to enjoy the sunrise.”
She straightened up a bit and looked to the windows. She nodded, understanding, and placed a hand on his shoulder. Her other hand stretched for Alden. He furrowed his brow, but he watched her hand glow on Sylvain’s shoulder. He felt more sure of his love every moment.
He shifted his weight and Sylvain winced, ready for the pain of the brightness again. When the pain did not come, he blinked and relaxed. Alden moved to his wife’s side and slipped his arms over her shoulders. She turned to beg a kiss, to which he obliged. Sylvain lifted a hand to hers on his shoulder. Both brothers muttered a quiet “thank you”.
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I’m literally living in such a state of anticipation just waiting to see what is going to come of this situation with my dad. He asked me to reach out to my brother, who is 16, and made it sound like everyone in the family has ignored him and that’s the reason he doesn’t want to visit us anymore. That didn’t really ring true to me, because I know that once my grandmother had to physically take his tablet away from him and force him to come out of his room just to get him to interact with the family just the smallest amount. I talked to my cousin, who I would trust with my life, about it and what he said basically boiled down to “I have been trying to befriend him for literal years, but he is so rude and so uninterested in doing anything other than playing games on his tablet that I gave up a long time ago.” I guess once my grandfather asked him if he wanted to help him feed the birds and my brother was like “why would I want to do that?” I emailed my dad because I didn’t want to get emotional about this over the phone, and told him about how blatantly disrespectful my brother is to all of us and how confused I was that he had been raised so differently than me—allowed to completely isolate himself by staring at a screen all day when I wasn’t even allowed to have a gameboy and was allowed about three hours of computer time a week. My brother has never been made to leave his (very narrow) comfort zone like I was. I performed musically, took sailing lessons, horseback riding lessons, etc. I was not given the option to back out of these activities even if I had wanted to, and I am a better person for not being allowed to isolate myself in my room reading books.
This made me delve into my stepmother and her emotional abuse, how I feel that she has turned my brother against our family because that is what she tried to do with me when I was a kid. I remember finally getting really upset about what she was saying about my grandparents and her response was that she “should have known I wasn’t mature enough for adult conversations.” A LOT of repressed memories are coming to the surface. How she said that my sister was going to be a trophy wife when she grew up...she was five. How she got so angry when I threw up during Sunday school once, even though it was in the bathroom, and I cleaned it up and went back to she wouldn’t miss the service. How when I asked her, in tears, for help with my OCD and she called me a hypochondriac and a liar and told me to go to my room. I guess the reason she “knew” I was lying is because once I complained about chest pain and when a doctor listened to my heart and said nothing was wrong they just...never followed up. Now I recognize that I was having chest pain from anxiety. I told my dad about how my basic needs were not being met when he was away during the week working. My stepmother never gave me lunch money, and if she did it was never more than a dollar left on the table, and I wasn’t allowed to wake her up in the morning under any circumstances. My friends had to buy me food and generally took turns getting me lunch, until the principal caught on and asked me if everything was ok at home. I lied to cover for her because I knew that I would be in trouble if the school called. She adopted me when I was ten, but would only be in my life for three more years after that. Everything was fine between us the summer after eighth grade and I happily went to the island to stay with my grandparents for the summer and to see my friends. My dad went back up for the weekend like he always did, and found that my stepmom had taken her car, the cats, all of her stuff, and my infant brother half way across the country to Minnesota. So he went, trying to save his marriage, and I stayed, honestly happy to be left behind and not having to be the new kid two years in a row. She completely cut off contact with me.
I also told my dad about the blog post I found later that year, written by her and read by many people in the community in which I lived, about how difficult it was for her to have a mentally ill daughter. I find it really interesting that my brother is so mentally ill that he can barely function, but she has not taken to the Internet to make his mental illnesses known to his community and to try to garner sympathy. I asked him to please imagine for a second how that made me feel to find that and read it.
It seemed incredibly obvious to everyone in our family that once she had her own biological child that she didn’t feel the need to continue to have a relationship with the adopted one, and even maybe that she manipulated the situation to make sure that it would just be the three of them from that point on. My brother was only a year old when she took off, and she left less than a week after I went to the island. As a child I didn’t want to say this out loud to anyone. I didn’t want to risk sounding jealous, insecure, immature, etc. But as an adult I don’t mind saying it, because that’s what happened. It honestly just shows how truly manipulated my thoughts were, to the point that I didn’t even want to acknowledge the reality of the situation, for fear of it being spun to make *me* look bad/more mentally ill.
He has said that both of them are waiting for me to make the first move in reestablishing a relationship. He said that my brother doesn’t want to switch rooms in their house because of the mural I painted on his wall. I reminded him that she has always been the one who established whether or not a relationship existed. At the end of what basically ended up being a manifesto of all of the ways she had torn our family apart, I said that I might be willing to reestablish contact with her if she started to take accountability and go to therapy. I also said that I would try to reach out to my brother but that it might be difficult for us to have a connection because he is almost an adult, is set in his habits, and if I’m right, she has been filling his head with awful things about our family like she did with me when I was a child, the only difference being that he has been under her influence for much longer and that she actually was able to isolate him from us, and use emotional incest to manipulate him into believing whatever she wanted him to believe (I did not use that term in the email to my dad because I know it would immediately make him, or anyone really, defensive because of how disgusting it sounds.)
My dad couldn’t email me back from his tablet but texted me what basically amounted to “I’m sorry I haven’t been a better parent. You have given me a lot to think about.” I have never felt so awful and so validated at the same time. He probably went back to their house from the island (where he works) last night, and I’m just wondering what is going to happen, if she is going to manage to manipulate her way out of any responsibility once again. My grandmother warned me not to criticize my brother if I cared about my relationship with my dad. I really felt all of this needed to be said though. My dad is away from his son during the week, so god only knows what she says and does during all that time that he is away. When he used to bring my brother to the island, he would bring him during the week and go to work, so he has no idea of how my brother interacts/doesn’t interact with us. I don’t know, I don’t know how she could spin any of this to make herself look good.
I told him, “I want you to be happy,” and he responded “I’m happy that you’re doing so well.” Idk, that kind of just broke my heart because it sounds like he just feels that happiness is off the table for him at this point. Every time we talk he’s like “I wanted to go do x but your mother and brother don’t want to, so we’re not.” And it just makes me sad af because I remember how much fun we used to have going to Maine, the Renaissance fair, tours of caverns, the beach, etc, and his wife and child would rather stare at a screen than go do something fun with him. Like we didn’t have a ton of money growing up and I’m sure they still don’t, but what money my dad did make he spent on experiences for us as a family.
So yeah...just waiting to see what’s gonna happen now.
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Hi. Sparky here
I have some things to talk about. Specifically the future of this blog. Im extremely anxious posting this and coming back to the blog ive been avoiding for a year.
Everyone else left and being completely honest, im happy with that. Although, some people are still members of the blog and are most likely reading this. Im not going to name anybody.
Id like to apologize about two things ive done. How i vented in the past, admittedly it was not okay. Yes, im a child, children make mistakes. It was guilt trippy and it garnered sympathy and i can see how that can make others view me problematically. However, i wasnt told about this after it started, and generally people hate being told theyre doing something bad. So i denied it, thought i was venting how i felt normally. It took some time to think and contemplate how i wrote out my feelings and yes, I acknowledge i did that and it was wrong. I dont talk like that anymore, going as far to say i dont want sympathy whenever i do want to talk about my feelings.
Second, making others feel bad for playing stuff i didnt have. That was definitely not okay. I did feel left out and lonely but thats no excuse. Ive had problems with being left out of activities in the past and i reacted badly in response. Im talking out those problems with them because all three of us kinda do the same thing and were trying to compromise more. Especially with us moving and certain things being in someones room. Like ill let my brother use my drawing tablet for practice and hell let me use his vr headset. I do genuinely feel bad for what i did and i fully accept that im not owed an apology.
Im only 15. I make mistakes. And i need to take responsibility for those mistakes. Im still learning and dont have full control over my emotions but i am working on it.
Now, the future of this blog. Starting out, i am Sparky. Not ‘Sparks’ or ‘Spark’ just Sparky. It is my name and i do not like it shortened or abbreviated. Please respect it. To be honest, im not too sure what to plan for this. Im making an alternate story of just flowers and crystals to try and keep the memory of what i wanted to do here. I will have whoever wants to interact be Dove as i originally planned. Its called Faded and Monotone. Shapes colors are becoming mute and gray and the group of Rainbow Shapes have to find the cause and stop it. Dove is the gray shape in the group. I will be using the map I designed for remix in this. I will name each island as something correlating with the Rainbow Shapes members color whose there.
Any hate or harassment will be deleted and/or blocked. I may have done wrong in the past but i do NOT deserve to be harassed. You may unfollow the blog or block it and if so, I suggest blocking my main @pinksparklelps as well. Im completely fine with it. For those who want to stick around for what is to come, thank you.
I do not have all the time in the world. Im moving houses really soon and still need a date for when i get my second surgery. Im not in school right now so i have more free time than I originally planned for. Remember, im a minor dealing with several mental illnesses and i will not put up with being rushed or harassed. Im not a professional. Im trying to get into the mindset of doing things because I WANT TO. Im not set out to please strangers on the internet just for a few likes. I want myself to be happy first.
If you have any questions, please ask. I recommend using tone indicators because im extremely anxious and dont wanna pick up on something that might not even be intended. Im trying to be as calm as possible answering stuff.
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