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mrvlbimbo · 2 years

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Play to Win, pt 3

Frank Castle x reader

Masterlist here

A polite and thoughtful home invasion

After the case ended things went back to normal. Well as normal as things could be after the biggest case of their career. In the midst of the trial she had moved offices to be closer to Nelson and Murdock. Her apartment was in Hell’s Kitchen already so it was a shorter commute.

Despite not working on the same cases, it was beneficial to have like minded people around to bounce ideas off of. She became closer with the three, bonding over their shared profession.

After the trial Frank was given multiple life sentences but he did manage to avoid the death penalty. From what she had heard, he was in a maximum security prison. She hadn’t taken the time to visit him yet, not knowing what she could possibly say. He had mentioned breaking out in the past but she didn’t think that was an option.

She hated to imagine how things could be, but she couldn’t help wishing that he would come home one day. Not that he had any home with her, however much she liked to think he would. Whenever she let her mind wander she imagined wandering around New York with him. When she had dinner with Karen and the guys it felt like there was an empty seat. Something inside of her knew he was meant to be in her life and sooner or later she’d have to come to terms with that.

It wasn’t easy having him locked up, but she felt better knowing he was safe at least. That’s why she was so shocked when she got the news of what had happened.

She came into work a little late with a coffee for Karen. Matt and Foggy whined about her not having one for them but they shut up when she handed them pastries. “You two don’t need to be any more wired,” she had stated.

After a brief morning conversation, she retired to her office. Most of the day was paperwork and looking through potential clients. She hadn’t taken any new cases since Frank, not feeling inspired by her work like she used to be.

At lunch she went back over to the other office. She figured she would sit with Karen and eat her pasta salad with some company after spending all day alone.

“Have you gone to see him?” she asked, questioning her words as she said them. Frank had been a sort of elephant in the room ever since the case. She thought about him constantly but she was sure she was the only one.

“No. I’m not going to. Matt says it’s not a good idea,” Karen replied, gritting her teeth. There was clearly something more there than she was saying but she wasn’t going to push for more information.

“Oh,” she replied, putting an end to the less than lively conversation.

The TV was quiet in the background as they ate. Things were falling apart at the firm, Matt hadn’t been showing up lately and Foggy was downright pissed. He was there that day at least, pacing around the conference room. He had something on his mind but what else was new?

He turned the volume on the TV up enough for the rest of the room to hear. At first she was annoyed by the loud intrusion, until she realized what was playing on tv.

The rest was incoherent mumbling after she heard those dreaded words “prison riot” “Frank Castle” “dead” She was so in shock, the news took a moment to register, but when it finally hit her it hit hard.

she held back a sob, reaching for hold on the corner of a table. Her grip was white knuckled as she fought a wave of nausea. “I’m going home,” she shouted before hastily grabbing her things and rushing out of the office.

She was stopped at the door by Matt Murdock. “Hey calm down,” he started, grabbing her wrist gently.

She twisted her arm out of his grip but he caught the other one easily. The motion shoved her into his chest so he could wrap his arms around her. “Just breathe. I know you’re upset but it’s going to be ok. I need to talk to you about something.”

“Fuck you. Let. Me. Go.” She said each word separately. Her voice was loud and assertive, not yet shaky from the tears that would inevitably start falling as soon as she was out of the office.

“Please.” His arms were tight around her and she cursed the way she craved the gentle embrace. After everything that had happened she really needed a good hug.

“Let me go, Murdock.” Her words were softer this time, losing the will to fight. His hands smoothed over her back, before he reluctantly let go. He knew she was distraught but if she wanted to leave he wasn’t going to keep her there.

“Call me when you get home,” he added as she left.

“Fuck you,” she sobbed, no real anger in her voice just pain. He let her walk out the door knowing she likely wouldn't call him. For someone as emotional as her, she never let anyone know what she was feeling. And she certainly didn’t let anyone help.

Multiple hours later and with thirty missed calls in total from Foggy, Matt, Karen, and the District Attorney, she was alone in her kitchen. Her hands were shaking around a cup of coffee. It was probably 2 or 3 in the morning but she had no interest in sleeping.

She didn’t hear the footsteps behind her until it was too late. When she felt a hand on her shoulder she flailed her arms wildly, her coffee mug shattering on the floor. Then she was lifted off the ground and shoved against the fridge, a hand cradling the back of her head to protect her skull. Whoever this home intruder was, they were very thoughtful.

Her eyes were screwed shut as she shook in fear, not bothering to fight back. “Babydoll, it’s just me.” Her eyes snapped open at his voice.

“You’re safe. I’m not gonna hurt you. I need ya to calm down for me.” He wrapped himself impossibly tighter around her, rubbing his hands up and down her arms to try and comfort her.

Once she realized it was him, the pressure of his body against hers and his hands gripping her figure felt like less of an intrusion. “Frank?” she gasped like she was seeing a ghost. In a way she was, less than a minute ago she thought he was dead. Now he was in her apartment very real and very alive and very much squishing her against the hard stainless steel door of her fridge.

“Yeah sweetheart. I’m here. You’re ok.” As nice as it was to be encased in his arms, she couldn’t ignore the fact that his firm weight against her was cutting off her airflow.

“Frank,” she repeated, squirming as much as she could when she was bracketed by the two steel walls of muscle that were his arms.

“Mmm,” he mumbled, not subtle about the way he was soaking in the only human contact he had in months apart from fighting. She had a strange urge to let him stay like that, his entire large heavy body pressed against her. She knew he wouldn't admit it, but it seemed to comfort him.

“You’re squishing me,” she whined, pushing at his chest weakly. He instantly let go of her, stepping back to give her room.

“Sorry. Look I know you're scared.” She was shaking but it wasn’t from fear, at least not in that moment. She was jittery from multiple cups of coffee, despite not being a huge fan of caffeine.

“I’m not,” she replied bluntly, crossing her arms and examining him. He was wearing mostly black but she could tell he had multiple wounds which he was bleeding from. In the dim light of the kitchen she could also make out the faint outline of bruises on his face which would show themselves more severely later.

“Maybe you should be,” he grumbled. She rolled her eyes at his melodramatic phrasing.

“You’re so dramatic. Alright let’s get you cleaned up, tough guy,” she offered, still concerned about the bruises and cuts littering his body.

She led him to the bathroom and grabbed the first aid kit from above the sink. When she turned back to him he was sitting on the edge of the tub sans his blood soaked shirt.

In another circumstance she would take a moment to appreciate his physique because he was a goddamn specimen of a man if she'd ever seen one. Her hands brushed over his chest, getting lost in the sheer state of him. She wondered how he was even alive not to mind walking and talking. She didn’t miss how he flinched as her hands touched a particularly sore spot.

“Hey sugar. I lost ya for a second. What’s wrong?” He asked softly, grabbing her face and making her look at his eyes instead of the numerous nasty wounds on his torso.

“You’re hurt. Like really hurt,” she blurted out her eyes darting from his eyes to the bruises on his face quickly as she struggled to comprehend the situation.

“Yeah I’m a little roughed up. Nothin new,” he assured her, brushing his thumbs over her cheeks. He seemingly forgot his hands were covered in blood, spreading it over her face although neither of them noticed at the time.

“Frankie,” she sighed, putting her hands over his. She shook her head and stepped away from him. For a second she closed her eyes tight and tried to steady her breathing. He stood back up and his hands fell to her hips, holding her steady so her knees didn’t buckle under the stress.

“I know, sweetie. I’m sorry to come to you with all this.” He rubbed his thumb on a spot of her hip when her shirt had ridden up. He almost chuckled at the way she sighed and loosened her tense body at the contact. He was no stranger to being touch starved so he didn’t bother to bring attention to it.

“I’m fine, it’s fine. Just sit down please, let me help you.” He obliged, still reluctant to have her do this when it made her so clearly uncomfortable. It’s not like he had much choice since it seemed like she wasn’t going to let him go without surveying his injuries and taking care of them. Even if the whole process made her a bit queasy.

Cleaning and bandaging his wounds was a painstaking process. He was more beaten up than she could have imagined. She tried to be as gentle as possible but she could see he was in pain. Her non-dominant hand swept over his shoulders, rubbing tiny circles on his back and arms. It wasn’t going to change the fact she was pouring rubbing alcohol on his open wounds but it was a nice distraction.

“Are these going to need stitches?” she asked, knowing full well the answer was yes. This wasn’t her first rodeo but in her defense it had been a while.

So her wave of nausea was appropriate when he replied, “Yep.” He looked down at her apologetically, silently thanking her with a nod of his head.

Her shaking hands got to work stitching the cuts. He noticed the way she trembled and he grabbed her other hand in his, interlacing their fingers and squeezing tightly. She didn’t mind the interruption, grateful for his grounding presence. “You’re doin so good. This here's the last one.”

When she finished the final stitch she stood up and turned away, lurching toward the sink. After taking a quick look at her profile in the mirror and noticing blood staining her face she almost fell to the floor. She was only held up by the firm hands on her hips. “S’alright. I gotcha.”

“I’m gonna be sick,” she whined, scrambling over to kneel in front of the toilet. He followed her, sitting behind her with her hair scrunched up in his hand like a makeshift ponytail.

“Sorry to ask but I need somewhere to stay,” he muttered, it was barely audible but she heard him.

She shook her head and stared into the toilet bowl. “Can we talk about this later?”

She didn’t end up throwing up but she didn’t feel the best, finally hobbling back into the kitchen after a few minutes of dry heaving. “Make yourself at home,” she mumbled, flopping down onto the couch and grabbing a pillow. She whisper-screamed into the pillow dramatically.

“Don’t wanna get blood on your couch,” he replied, opting instead to sit cross legged on the floor next to her. A large orange cat padded over to him and sniffed him curiously. Frank offered his hand hesitantly and the cat bumped his head against it, purring loudly. Then he jumped onto the couch and curled up by his owner's feet.

She reached out and ran the tip of her finger over the bruises on his face. It was light enough not to hurt but for that same reason it tickled. He failed to stop a smile from forming on his face. “Take a picture. It’ll last longer,” he joked, grabbing her wrist before he started laughing at the featherlight touch.

“I don't like this,” she said with a pout, wiggling her finger and poking his face so hard he winced. She gave him a knowing look, as if his reaction proved some point she was trying to make.

“Ok rude.” He pulled back, bringing a hand up to cover his eye.

“You need to be more careful,” she said thoughtfully, as if it was the most simple thing in the world. She always got what she wanted. And she wanted him to be safe, so in her mind she reasoned that she would make that happen no matter what it took.

“That’s not gonna happen,” he scoffed, finding the idea that someone who does what he does has the luxury of being careful almost funny.

“Then you can’t stay with me.” She crossed her arms defiantly, rolling over to look him in the eyes properly rather than tilting her head to the side.

“Hm?” he questioned, a bit stunned by her boldness.

“If you stay with me I need you to promise to stay out of trouble,” she stated more firmly this time. She was smiling weakly at him but it didn’t reach her eyes. There was a longing in the way she looked at him, like she wanted something she knew she couldn’t have.

He shook his head, sighing sadly. The pitiful look she gave him made him want to fold right there and commit himself to a domestic life in her apartment feeding the cat and watering the plants. But he knew he wasn’t meant for a life like that, he didn’t deserve it. “Sweetheart, I can't-”

She cut him off before he could finish, already knowing what he was going to say. “No. I can't sit up at night worrying if you’re ok. I can’t have you coming back all beat up. Believe it or not I don't like seeing you hurt.” She was shaking, her fingers twitching with the effort of stopping herself from reaching out to him.

“I know. I’ll try to be careful. For you,” he assured her, crawling up onto the couch with her and pulling her into his arms. He was careful not to disturb the cat sleeping by her feet, positioning his legs so the orange fluff ball was cradled between the two of them. He would never have thought to do this in a million years but somehow he could tell it was what she needed.

With their foreheads pressed together, he could easily see the tears falling down her cheeks in the dim light of the apartment. The lights were off inside but the curtains were open, allowing the lights of the city in and illuminating her wet face. “Hey. hey. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She tried to turn away, but his arms held her in an iron grip. There was no avoiding her feelings as she so often tried to.

“Clearly it’s something.” His large hand brushed over her cheek, only spreading the tears across her face. She sobbed lightly as he caressed her face.

“I thought you were dead, Frank,” she finally said. Her voice was grim at that admittance. From about lunch time until he barged into her apartment she thought she would never see him again. Having him here, close enough to touch and doing just that, was giving her a sort of emotional whiplash.

It was late and the crying tired her out so she started to drift off. “You’re not gettin rid of me that easy, doll,” he chuckled softly, pressing a firm kiss to her hairline. She shifted in his arms, nuzzling into his chest and sighing sweetly. “Keep that up and you’re never gettin rid of me,” he said, more to himself that time since she was clearly fast asleep.

#frank castle #frank castle x reader #daredevil #the punisher x reader #the punisher #matt murdock #just pure fluff tbh #some angst bc I’m sad all the time

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timidloner · 1 year

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How to dominate Joren (can you explain more specifically)?

Yeah, no problem!

So, since I'm someone who goes with the flow while writing, I can't tell you that many details because I literally don't have them yet, but this is how I'm planning to make it work: You'll accumulate "dom" points across the game, and if your score is high enough, then certain scenes will change or you'll get special options.

You get points this way:

The rank of Devout may be the lowest in the Church, but it's still a higher position than that of a commoner (Joren). Use it to MC's advantage, as proof of their authority and power over him.

Be assertive around him, a MC that acts shy, unsure, or lets him break their boundaries won't be able to dominate him.

Paying attention to his reactions, see if he reacts better to a gentle or firm hand.

Reprimand him when he gets out of line, like wanting to pick fights with other people, mocking someone, showing irreverence to the Faith...

This can go from a firm look to an actual punishment (putting him on cleaning duty, chopping wood, or making him serve as Aiken/Lena's helper for a day). Getting him to do certain things will be very challenging, since he doesn't react well to orders.

Reward him for good behavior, and with what? Find what he needs/wants and give it to him (isn't sexual).

As you can see, most of the work is outside of the sex scenes, but the moment you'll cement MC's position as the dom will be in those. It won't be a simple "Take control" option, you'll get different actions and only some of them will work out (you can just go back if you're wrong, so it's not that bad).

Pay attention to his character (or just go through his tag in the blog, lol), will he react well to a slap to the face? Or if you tug his hair? What if you humiliate him a little bit? Or praise him? Bite him?

Take the lead in the intimate scenes. MC doesn't need a lot of experience to be "bossy", for example, if Joren is going down on them, they can take hold of his face and keep him there, or they could facefucking if they have a dick.

Keep him on his knees or under MC most of the time.

Or maybe MC can tell him to stay still while they explore his body, and he isn't allowed to touch them. He'll disobey, and the challenge is to find the correct way to make him listen.

Some kind of aftercare would go a long way, even if it just cuddling him and MC's being the big spoon.

Pay attention to his reactions, he can get out of control very easily.

Once MC is the dominant role, Joren will eventually accept his role as the sub and you won't encounter resistance (to MC's authority in the bedroom) any longer. Then you could move on to making him the bottom.

Fully manipulating Joren into doing anything MC wants is another conversation.

#ask away!#from lon to you #spicy ask

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larsenmonaghan56 · 1 year

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rajatkharevipassana · 2 years

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mercer28stark · 2 years

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marshmallowprotection · 3 years

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Gladiolus.

Description: Jihyun Kim knew what he had to do to protect both Saeran and Saeyoung, but what happens when he realizes that he needs to help himself and change the course of his life to accomplish it? Will he have the strength to be the Dad that he needs to be for them in the face of his mistakes and victories?

Photographer Saeran AU

Word Count: 10500

Based on this idea and thanks to @dailysaeran for drawing baby Saeran!

[Read on AO3]

Jihyun had heard that the winds of change could come into your life and dismantle everything that you thought would last forever. Life wasn’t always a constant stream where the water would twist and turn around the rocks the same way. The weather would change, the temperature would change, the currents would change, and even the animals that lived in the water would change as the seasons passed.

It had been something that he had gone through twice before, but this change wasn’t one that he ever expected to come. It had been a realization that had been a long time coming, but he hadn’t allowed himself to see just how much he needed to stop and reflect on the man that he became as his life shifted to much more mature adulthood.

The first time things changed, he lost his dear mother and it changed the way that he believed in love. Her adoration and commitment to him had made him believe that he needed to care for the people he loved no matter what, without fail, even if it meant that he would sacrifice himself. In hindsight, now he was able to see how this extreme wasn’t the right way to handle his feelings towards others.

His mother had always loved him and wanted the best for him. But, at that time, he had been a stubborn young man who had layered issues with his mother. It wasn’t her fault that his father had taught him to feel complicated about his mother, and it certainly wasn’t her fault that V had come to realize too late that his father had manipulated him to believe in his lies. He had been so afraid as a child of his father seeing his true passion.

His fears and insecurities forced him into pushing his mother away over and over again, but she kept believing in him and pushing for him to find his dream. Her sacrifice for him during the fire that claimed her life had been what changed Jihyun forever. He thought that to love someone, he had to give everything for the rest of his life, even if that meant trying to help someone by being too pushy.

His mistake here had nearly cost him everything.

It had almost destroyed him, in the same way, that his mother had been destroyed by her love and compassion for her son whom she loved dearly. He had learned the wrong lesson and it was only recently that he was able to understand that.

The second time things changed, he had met Rika, and by extension, he would eventually come into contact with Saeyoung. His love life with Rika had always been intense, blinding as the sun as the two of them tangled their broken hearts looking for a savior to believe in. But, their love wasn’t right for one another at the end of the day, and the more they argued the less idyllic their reality became.

He wanted to help Rika escape from her nightmares and trauma, but he had no idea how to help her in the way that she needed him to. He thought that allowing her to fixate on her darkest and scariest thoughts by subjecting him to them instead of herself, would help her to break free of the chain. She was a star that was on the brink of exploding when he met her, and every single day, he idealized this and found a muse within it.

It hadn’t been a healthy relationship once their feelings became tangled with the fruits of poison but as that realization grew to a fever pitch, V couldn’t ignore the cycle that had been created. Even if they ignored it and tried to make things work, it was never going to work and they were needless in the way that they continued to subject themselves to something that would never make them feel the love that they deserved.

Everyone thought that their love was perfect, but it was far from the truth. This was realized just as they began to help the twins. Saeyoung and Saeran Choi were two young boys who had been living in hell their entire lives, and they were trapped in a cycle of abuse that they could not get out of on their own. Rika had been taking care of Saeyoung for a while, gaining his trust through the church and trying to help him bring more food and clothes home to his sickly twin.

She’d known him for quite some time before Jihyun met him. But, Rika had been upfront with him about the life that this young boy lived, and it didn’t take much consideration for him to so badly want to help. Saeyoung was willing to do anything, try something, or beg if it meant that his brother could be safe and sound away from harm. Their mother was using them to blackmail their father into getting whatever she wanted, and without them, she wouldn’t be able to assert that control.

Rika, at first, wanted to simply remove the boys in the dead of night and run. V thought that wasn’t a bad idea, but when Saeyoung admitted the identity of his father, they both knew in their hearts that running wasn’t going to be a viable option.

It was in their hunt to find a way to get the older twin an escape that V met someone from the agency. A fan of his that loved to buy up so many of his photographs happened to be working for an underground facility that took any intelligent young people under their wings. The man spun it to him like being an escape from reality, an action movie suddenly came to life that would give the budding Choi a place to learn how to use his skills to protect himself.

As Saeyoung had proven to be quite skillful with programming, the books that he had been studying that had been given to him by Rika had come in handy. He was able to prove that his skill was worth the trouble it would take to train him properly to the man, and Jihyun was able to make a deal through that, giving Saeyoung safety within the confines of secret protection where his hacking skills could eventually help him hide everything about himself and his brother.

For the time being, Saeyoung would have to let go of his twin to go into the agency to study and become what they wanted him to be. There was no telling how long he would owe the agency his life and skill, it could’ve been years or it could’ve lasted his entire life. But, the deal would give him time to figure out how to become the strongest person that he could be. It would allow him to protect his brother, which is all he wanted.

In making this deal with the agency, he made a second deal with V for it. Saeyoung was a very firm negotiator when he wanted to be. The promise was that as long as Saeyoung was in the care of the agency, V and/or Rika would have to care for his brother and keep him hidden. It was this large promise to make that meant that everything in their lives would change, but V took this deal because he knew it was the right thing to do. He wanted nothing more than to protect those boys with his entire heart.

He had never been this committed to the idea of protecting children before, but he supposed that he saw his pain in their eyes. He never wanted to see another child hurt from whatever they lived through, no matter how deep the pain buried itself into their bodies. This deal was made and the older twin had to leave without warning. His heart ached to know that he couldn’t tell his twin where he was going.

People in the agency weren’t allowed to have connections with family or loved ones. If they did, people would use them as collateral and the agency couldn’t have their members breaking down every time someone wound up kidnapped or used a prop. Saeyoung couldn’t stomach the idea of knowing that his brother would get hurt when this was to protect him, so when the day came and he had to leave?

He hugged his brother tightly as he was still resting and apologized, leaving during the time before the sun rose with just the clothes on his back. Saeran would be okay, but he had to break his heart into pieces to do it. His little brother was everything to him and just knowing that he could taste some kind of freedom was all he needed to choose to leave. Saeyoung had tears in his eyes that day, but he never stopped smiling.

Those words that Saeyoung spoke still haunted him somewhat, as the undaunted expression in his eyes grew; “Saeran will have a good life. I know he will. He’ll be free to look at the grounds and get any kind of ice cream that he wants after dinner from now on. He’ll get to experience all kinds of firsts… he can read, draw, and try all kinds of things with you, V. He’ll make friends, he’ll fall in love, he’ll have everything that he could ever want. Thank you.”

That hung heavy on V’s shoulders as it was a tall order to fulfill. But, he took that promise and he kept it deeply interwoven inside of his heart. Even as his and Rika’s relationship came to an end in a matter of seconds. Rika realized after just a short time being around Saeran that his pain was too great compared to her own, and it reminded her too much of her mother and the pain that she had suffered.

She wanted to protect Saeran, but this realization had given her the ugly truth. She couldn’t give him the love that he needed alongside V… because her heart was still wounded, and she wanted to heal herself in the right way before she tried to help someone in need in the way that he truly needed. His pain was like her own, and in seeing that, she knew that she needed to end things with V to be able to help herself.

As they had been growing apart over some time, V understood why she chose to do this and he knew that it was coming no matter what happened. They had never been perfect for each other and trying to force themselves to stay together to take care of Saeran simply wasn’t going to help that child in need.

Rika dedicated herself back to going to therapy consistently and decided to put all her energy into creating the RFA so she could help Saeran and other children like him that way, removed from the situation but still close enough to provide help.

She loved V but their love couldn’t ever be more than what it had always been, mere infatuation and trying to cover their wounds with a meager bandaid that couldn’t heal the problem. He cared for her greatly but at the end of the day, love could not bloom and prosper in a garden without a drop of water in the intense heat of the sun.

V understood his failing in their relationship as well, and through her insistence, as well as the urging of Jumin, he decided that he needed to get help for himself as well. Even if getting help was such a taboo in his culture, he knew that he needed it. He knew that his heart was wounded and to be a better man, he had to acknowledge what he had gone through. After all, if he was to be Saeran’s father, he wanted to be worthy of the title.

He wanted to be able to prove to not only himself but everyone around him that he could do the right thing. It wasn’t easy for him to face his demons but it was a process that he wanted to start for his heath. While that started and he and Rika separated, he slowly took the time to lure Saeran away from his mother’s grasp day by day. It started with Rika convincing the woman to let him come to the cathedral every so often.

But, in due time, the longer that Saeran was gone, the less time that his mother was aware of her surroundings and the people around herself.

She had been drinking often since Saeyoung had left and it left her out of her mind for lengthy periods. When she was too dazed to even process what her name was, much less where her child was, that’s when V and Rika snuck in during the dead of night when she was passed out and there was no sign of any watchful eyes from Saejoong Choi.

Saeran was removed from her household and brought to V’s house in the secluded mountains, far from the city but just close enough that they wouldn’t have a lengthy drive if push came to shove and they needed something.

That woman was left in her despair but her fate hung in the balance the minute that she was left alone. They took extreme measures to make it look like the boys hadn’t even lived there in the first place, but whatever Saejoong Choi decided to do with that woman… it would be the price of her sins to face alone now that she no longer could use the boys as puppets. Neither V nor Rika would look back or try to discern her true fate.

It would be up to fate in that case and they would shield Saeran from that reality as much as they could. He might have cared for the idea of his mother as he craved a family where he was wanted and loved, but she wasn’t someone who truly loved her sons. They couldn’t be properly called her sons because she never treated them the way a mother should treat their child. She simply did not deserve that title.

Regardless, with Saeran under his care, he was finally able to wake up one morning and know that he had a bed that couldn’t be taken away from him. He’d been given his bedroom with anything that he could desire. Saeyoung had told them about some of the things that he liked and it helped them figure out what to gift him to make him feel more at home.

It was a lot for Saeran all at once, though.

His eyes flooded with tears that day as he realized that he had a bed for the first time in his life. He looked back at V and asked him, “Is that mine?” The twins had slept on a mat on the floor with only a single blanket to share between them. Saeran often wound up wearing the blanket after he fell asleep because Saeyoung would refuse to take it. So, a bed was like the biggest gift this child had ever seen.

Saeran’s eyes flooded with tears as he hugged V without thinking, looking at him with the most joyful expression in his eyes. V felt his heart jump when he did, and a lump grew in his throat as he ruffled the boy’s hair and smiled in return. This was what Saeyoung wanted, his twin to be able to have the very thing that they had been denied from their birth, a home with a family that would protect him.

He had been barely fourteen years old, but the way his donated clothes clung to his body and how short he was, he could’ve passed easily as a ten-year-old, at best. He was small and barely able to hold himself up most days but that had been a happy moment for him. Saeran had only let go of V to race to the bed, flopping onto the soft mattress and rolling onto his back, laughing and giggling with glee.

His room was a paradise of pinks and blues, very gentle pastels that would cloak him with the sunshine that he had been denied. His room had a large window that he could open if he wanted to see the sky or feel the fresh breeze on his face once again.

There was a view of the garden in the back and the massive trees that lead into the forest further behind that. He could see all of the things that he never could have locked away in his mother’s house.

There were plushies and toys carefully tucked into the room as well since Saeyoung had been firmly adamant that his twin loved to color and all the picture books that he had received made him long for toys and soft things to hold onto.

There was one gift in that room that hadn’t been chosen by V… and it was a ginger tabby cat plushie, something that Saeyoung picked out for him after he snuck out to go shopping with V one day.

If Saeran were to flip the tag around its neck, he would see his brother’s handwriting on the back plain as day. It didn’t say his brother’s name on it but it did say, “For Saeran,” and that would be the only clue his twin needed to understand that it was a gift from Saeyoung. He would discover it when V left him to acclimate to his new room by himself, eyes laced with happy tears as he’d realize his twin had given him a gift.

It meant that his brother was alive and this was where he wanted him to be.

Saeran was hopeful after that, his eyes sparkling with relief and joy. V couldn’t tell him where his twin was or anything about him, but the gift was enough. It was a gesture that would be able to tide him over and keep his heart happy, knowing that he hadn’t been abandoned and his twin hadn’t been killed by their father.

It was a simple gesture but it was the only thing that he could think of to bypass the agency before they even knew it was a problem.

Of course, this opened up another can of worms that V had to deal with. The fact of the matter was, Saeran couldn’t keep his red hair. Even if he was hidden away from the rest of the world and safe with him, they couldn’t trust that his father wasn’t still looking. He would be hunting around for boys with red hair and golden eyes.

V had to explain this to Saeran, who felt a little dejected about not being able to keep his hair but after he learned why he had to change it, he was okay with it. After all, he knew that he could be able to dye it back someday if he wanted. But, for the time being, he had to dye his hair to look like V’s did. This was for a very good reason and it worked with the backstory that he was going to tell people if they asked about him having a child.

Through the false documentation that he was able to create thanks to the channel he had created with his informants, he was able to create an entire fabricated life for Saeran. It took a lot of time to look into his mother’s side, but he was able to make it seem as though Saeran was just a very distant cousin of his from the states that had no other family to turn to. It meant he wouldn’t be in the family registry since it was distant.

It was close enough that a doctored birth certificate and some basic paperwork could give him a new identity overall. It took a lot of money to make it as perfect and legal as possible, but it was well worth the price he paid. To the South Korean government as far as they were concerned in the matter, Saeran would simply be known as Ray Kim, the adopted child of Jihyun Kim. It was as simple as that.

Saeran had been adamant about the name since he got to pick what people would call him. He thought about it for a while until he stumbled upon an interesting idiom. He noticed that nice people were called a Ray of Sunshine. Saeran felt connected with that idea, he wanted so badly to be happy enough that people would never think he was lonely and pathetic.

He wanted to be that person that looked so happy they glowed.

If Saeyoung was watching over him now, he wanted his brother to know that he was happy. So, his new name should’ve been happy. V agreed and let him pick that name since he was giving up a lot to be able to have this freedom in the first place. He was a child that had been saved but he still had limitations on what he could do. Being able to choose his name was one of the small luxuries.

Of course, as soon as the paperwork was ready, V had to dye his hair himself. It took a while to lighten his red locks to a color that would accept the mint dye, but Saeran was a good sport for the entire time that he had to sit there at the table, letting V do his hair in layers as everything started to process. It took a few hours but by the end of it, Saeran’s red was washed away and replaced with a color that was no different than V’s.

The child looked into the mirror once his hair had dried out, blinking a few times at his reflection since he didn’t recognize it at first. His golden eyes stared back at him so he knew that it was his face in the mirror but it felt weird not to see his twin’s face reflected with his own. It wasn’t the same as it used to be, but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t okay.

It was okay.

He knew it would be okay.

In a quiet voice, he asked, “Do you think Saeyoung would be upset because I don’t look like him anymore?”

“Saeyoung would be happy that you’re safe here,” V said. He rested his hand against Saeran’s shoulder and they looked back at their reflections together this time. “You’ll always look like your brother, even if you don’t have the same hair color. Nobody can ever take that connection away from you, Saeran. Never forget that.”

“Okay.”

“Do you want to try on the contacts, too? You don’t have to use them when we’re at home, but if we leave the house for something together, I’ll need you to wear them, okay? So, it’d be nice to try to practice getting them off and on your eyes.”

“Are they this color, too?”

“I picked a few different colors out, Saeran. What would you like to try?”

“Um, what about green? It’s like the grass!”

“We can try that.”

—

Saeran adjusted as best he could.

Everything changed so much for him after he finally felt secure. He had room to sleep in, he had a house that could leave whenever he wanted, and he had a new member of his family who liked to listen to him talk for hours about all of the new things that he was doing. V even said that once he felt like he was ready, he could start going to school and hang out with kids his age.

That was a little scary for Saeran to think about. He wasn’t sure about going out in the open with people… he was still scared of being caught by his father and getting his brother into trouble. It was a sad reality that he faced but the decision was ultimately left in his hands if he wanted to go to school with other kids or he simply wanted V to hire him a proper tutor to come and visit the house every week.

Saeran was curious about school… about kids his age. Back at the cathedral, he didn’t talk much to the other kids because he had felt too shy to approach them. He had spoken to some of the kids a few times during the playtime that they had whilst the parents were in the middle of their mass, but he always got too anxious to talk to them beyond a few quiet “hello”s.

It was hard to imagine making friends.

It was hard to imagine going to school, too.

But, everything he saw on the television made it seem like it might be fun. What if Saeyoung was going to a school? Would he want him to go, too? He wasn’t so sure about it, but he could think about it and try to guess what it would be like. After all, V went to a school when he’d been a kid, so that meant that it was safe, right?

Saeran was a gentle soul that liked to learn how to do everything… every meal was spent trying to show him how to do something. Cleaning up meant that he wanted to help V every step of the way, and for the time that he wasn’t trying to learn skills, he could be found outside in the garden that was growing stronger outside. The flowers and vegetables had caught his eye, again.

He spent a lot of time learning about them at the cathedral but he didn’t have long to study the picture book that V got him when he was stuck with his mother. He liked learning about how they drew and what they meant when you shared them with other people. Saeran thought it was interesting that people could share secrets between petals and stems.

They were all so pretty and he liked talking to them whenever he could. They were like his friends even if they couldn’t talk back to him. He never had someone who listened so much before so he liked that about them. His flowers were everything to him, and he felt like they could be what he needed to get by instead of school!

Even if he was curious about what it felt like to have friends that could talk back to him. His flowers were good enough, right?

V told him that flowers grow better when you talk to them, and he took that belief inside of his heart without question. Even though there was so much that he wanted to share with the flowers, he always ran out of time when the sunset. If he could’ve spent all his time in that little garden, he would have. Though, he was always sad on rainy days when couldn’t go outside and see his friends.

He would curl up on the couch with his plushie and stare up at the ceiling for a while, letting his mind wander with thoughts that seemed endless. He was lonely, now, even if he had a family of flowers and V with him. Maybe V was right, he wondered, maybe it would be nice to have some friends that he could talk to just as much as he loved talking to his flower friends. What if he was allowed to have both?

After a particularly stormy day and night that hadn’t let him go outside, Saeran practically leaped at the chance to go outside again. He didn’t even think to ask if V was going to come with him, his little legs just carried him through the house and out the backdoor as fast as they could. He found his way around the puddles and beamed, leaning over with his hands on his knees to inspect his friends.

They looked like they had gotten a lot of water overnight but after how dry it had been, he wasn’t too scared for them. He just wished that he had a chance to see them even when it was raining badly. His flower friends made his day feel a little bit brighter so seeing them made them was always a good feeling he had. He just didn’t know how to see them if it was raining so much all the time!

That’s when Jihyun appeared beside him, crouching down in the dirt next to Saeran with his camera in hand. Saeran cocked his head and looked at him, unsure why he had come to this part of their garden right away. He lifted the viewfinder to his face and pointed it at one of the flowers that he had been admiring, then he lowered the device and showed the image to Saeran.

With curious and amazing eyes, Saeran found himself staring at a reflection of the flower. He’d known that V took photos of things that were kind of like what he saw on the walls of their little house but those were all of the sky and stars. There weren’t photos of flowers in the house, there were a few paintings, but no flower pictures.

He didn’t realize that pictures could be taken of things that were on Earth. Technology was still kind of a fickle thing for Saeran. He had a hard time understanding how things worked, trying to figure out how televisions made their picture happen, how phones could call people if they didn’t have a connection with a string, how cameras worked, how lights functioned to off and on, how a sink made water, and more.

The house that he lived in with his brother didn’t have a lot of things. The kitchen they had was small and he wasn’t allowed in it. His brother would have to get him food and water, and if he’d ever walked into the kitchen without his mother dragging him in there, he would get hurt in the process. He never looked around. He always looked at his feet.

It felt like he didn’t know how anything worked. He always tried to guess how they worked, but the only answer that he could come up with was magic. It made sense in the storybook that he’d read once. Magic seemed like a really good answer, but he couldn’t ever find the fairy or witch that was making it work!

What made V’s camera work?

He was utterly mystified by what he was seeing on the device. He liked the photos that V took of the sky but… he never thought that this was something he could do. V always had a lot of big cameras that he would take outside during the day and night to take longer photos. He said something about exposure, but Ray didn’t know what he meant.

He just knew that whatever magic he did made those really pretty photos of the fluffy clouds come into their living room. V had hung the photo that Saeran liked the most in his room after he asked if he could look at the photo for a while. He thought that asking meant that V would let him look at his screen for a while, but he printed the photo out and put it up when he was asleep. It was a nice surprise!

He spoke up without knowing what he said aloud, “You… you can take pictures of flowers, too? I thought your camera only worked the sky.”

A small smile appeared on V’s face. He paused as if an idea came to mind, and then he leaned over and pressed the camera into Saeran’s hands. Saeran was surprised and looked down at the device in his hands. He didn’t know what to do with it. He was nervous he might drop it if V let him hold it, so he tried to hand it back, but V insisted with another gentle nudge towards him to keep it.

“Lift the camera and look at the screen,” V tapped his finger against the top of the camera where he was staring. “Notice how it shows you what you already see in the garden?

Saeran did as he said, and he noticed the world moved much as it did on television on that small screen. Oh, so, did the cameras that took pictures to take the videos, too? That seemed to make sense to him. He could see the Gladiolus reflected on the monitor. There were a lot of buttons that did things but he didn’t know what they did.

Saeran pursed his lips and looked back at V, “How do you make it work like that? I mean, how do you take the picture?”

“I’d be happy to show you. Can I?”

“Uh-huh.”

So, V adjusted Saeran’s hold on the camera. He helped him place one firm hand on the lens and another on the side of the camera. Then, he showed him how to focus the lens and how to clear up the picture. Saeran felt a little weird about it since this was his first time holding a camera but V was patient as his uncertainty slowly washed away.

He looked at the flower outside of the lens at first, then he looked at the screen again. Saeran thought about it. Would the picture look the same as the real thing? Would someone who saw the photo know exactly what Saeran felt when he was looking at the flower? Or, would they guess as to what he felt? Would they feel that fluttering feeling, too?

“When you want to take a photo, you hit the button. Go ahead, give it a try.”

Saeran hit the switch on the side of the camera and waited a few seconds for the image to show itself on the screen. A wide smile appeared on his face as soon as it did. He couldn’t believe it! He’d taken a photo and it looked just like his flower! Lowering the camera soon, he looked at V who was smiling, too.

He wished that he could show Saeyoung! He never took a photo before and this one reminded him of his brother so much! He was happy, so happy that he had been able to try something new, that he didn’t even realize that he had begun to giggle, “I did it! Dad, I did it! I took the photo!”

“You did a good job, Saeran. Would you like to keep trying?”

V ruffled his hair once again, the mint locks growing messy around his eyes as it would always do whenever the man did that. The breeze was no different, further messing up his hair but he’d decided he didn’t care about that. His hair could be as messy as he wanted and nobody would get onto him for it.

Saeran’s smile didn’t fade away this time. The prospect that he was allowed to try something more than just once was still a foreign feeling, but it was one that he wasn’t afraid of. “Do you mean it? I can take more photos? I don’t have to just take one of them? I can take anything I want?”

“Of course, Saeran. I’d be happy to show you how to take pictures of anything you want. There is no limit to what you can take. Those flowers, those trees, the lake just beyond them, the sky, the clouds, you, me, anything you want! I remember you said that you wanted to be able to see your flowers even when it was rainy… and this way you can. You can take pictures of as many flowers as you want.”

Saeran’s eyes sparkled with excitement. He turned away from V and began to look around the garden for anything that might catch his eye. He didn’t know where to start. He never expected to be able to do something like this! What kind of pictures would he like to see? Oh, could he take photos like V and surprise him the way that he did?

There were so many ideas running through him and he knew that he wanted to try all of them as soon as he could.

He was renewed with the idea that maybe, just maybe he would be able to send these photos to his brother somehow. Wouldn’t Saeyoung love to see them? He gripped the device tightly in his hands and set off into the garden leaving V as he went to take photos of everything. His eyes looking at the earth and the sky, taking photos of everything without feeling like he was being held down.

If he could have photos with him whenever he went off what he loved, he wouldn’t be afraid to try new things anymore. It wouldn’t be scary because he wouldn’t be alone. He could have the stars, the sun, the clouds, the sky, the flowers, his house, V, himself, and anything else that he could think of with him anywhere.

If it was printed or on this camera, he could have it any time he wanted it without having to make a fuss. He wouldn’t have to ask V if he could go outside first, he could sit at the table and see his things while he tried to do other things inside! The idea made him happy and the camera that was in his hand made him feel liberated.

Saeran wondered as if V would let him borrow his camera all the time!

—

Seasons passed and life changed just as quickly as the tides could crash against the shore of your favorite beach. It had been a few years since V had adopted Ray and ever since then, his life had been on a path that was leading him upward to the stars instead of down below to where waters lay underneath his feet.

Ray had been able to go to school and attend the same one that his dad had attended without trouble, and nobody once ever questioned him or thought twice about who he was. They all thought him to be Ray Kim, and nobody had any reason to think that he wasn’t who he said he was. They all assumed that he was who he said he was from the start and that had cleared up a lot of Ray’s fears.

It couldn’t have worked out any better. Ray had been scared to try new things for such a long time but the reality was when V gave him his first camera… It was like a whole new world of opportunity was handed to him. V spent hours showing Ray how to use his camera and he was a faster learner, constantly taking notes and tinkering with ideas that he had just as quickly as he read on what to do.

The camera meant so much to Ray that V decided to give it to him. He had the money to afford a new one, anyway, so he wasn’t too worried about that. It meant more to him that Ray had this thing that made him happy. He loved taking pictures a lot. It reminded V of when he used to use all of his time as a child drawing and painting, and when he saw that passion in Ray’s eyes that he had once seen in himself?

He realized what his mother had meant all those years ago.

She hadn’t been trying to pry into his life or make him do something she wanted. She wanted him to follow his heart. Through therapy, he was able to focus on learning that fact.

He wanted to show his mother that he could do what she did, or at least, what she tried to do. He wanted to support Ray’s dream to be an artist, to be a photographer, too.

Ray’s photos were… breathtaking and he only got better with time and practice. His skill was astounding, he was capable of tricks and feats that had taken V years to figure out on his own so it meant everything to know that giving Ray a camera had been the right thing to do. Even as he got older and studied hard, he never let go of his passion with his camera.

When he wasn’t doing his homework, or spending time with his gardening club, he was taking photos.

His skills were well-admired.

V knew that Ray had potential and he wanted to help him chase that dream even further, but he also knew that Ray’s face couldn’t be shown as the artist for now. It didn’t mean that he wasn’t worthy of a gallery with his name on it but he deserved something to prove how much his hard work meant.

He was stubborn, polite, hard-working, and determined to pay people back for kindness. He never asked V very much if he could help it. Even Jumin had commented that his son was rather selfless time and time again, jesting that he had been spending too much time with his father.

All and all, Ray had grown into an upstanding young man who had a bright future ahead of him, even if he couldn’t have everything. He had a family and friends that cared about him, and he was so very far from the little frightened boy that he had once been. Nobody would have ever believed that the boy with mint curls was once a redhead who lived in fear, clutching to his twin like he was a lifeline.

The RFA had prospered as well, though Ray wasn’t a member of the group.

He was anxious around big parties and crowds so it was better for him to avoid that. But, he still spoke to the members that were in the group that his Dad belonged to. He liked talking to Jumin, as it turned out, they had a lot in common. Ray was polite and formal when he spoke, and Jumin’d been like that all his life. So, they hit it off great.

There had been some trips V and Jumin took, bringing Ray along with them to the countryside since he couldn’t leave Korea for his safety. Ray often spent those days staring at everything he could find and asking Jumin about the history or background of the places they traveled. He loved to learn and listen, and Jumin loved to share that with someone. It humbled V to see his friend and son get along.

Jaehee was courteous to Ray as he often was with her, though, he was the first person to ask Jumin to make fewer cat projects to quote, “not stress Miss Jaehee out.” Ray liked to talk to her because she’d always listen to whatever he was invested in. He would, in turn, listen to her talk about Zen for a while. Their friendship was built on having someone close by who knew what it felt like to want to be heard.

Speaking of Zen, the actor spent a lot of time looking out for Ray… somehow even more so than Yoosung. It might have been because Ray was awfully small for his height and if someone tried to fight him, he’d probably lose before they breathed on him. Zen was always trying to give him advice about the world and Ray took it, but everyone would correct the advice if it turned into his dating advice.

Yoosung was the closest in age to him but they didn’t have a lot in common. They would share notes and study guides often if they shared a subject in school, even though they were going to the same school, but they talked now and again about other things. They surprisingly shared a lot of recipes together and would work to make them if the RFA was in the same place for an extended period.

Rika was around, of course, and Ray didn’t mind her too much. They didn’t talk often but she always checked in on him whenever she got the chance. Her dedication to herself had done a lot of wonders for her, but she still struggled with the fear that she might hurt Ray without meaning to so she kept to a polite distance from him apart from this or that.

V himself was trying his best to be a good father. He made mistakes now and again, but he was doing his best to be there for Ray when he needed someone. Ray had even started calling Dad a long time ago without thinking twice. It was an honor to be given that name, and he would be a liar if he said he didn’t cry that night after Ray went to bed. They spent a long time trying to be sure that bond was tried and true.

Ray had the life that his brother always wanted for him… with one exception to the very rule, he wasn’t in it. Saeyoung wasn’t in his life. He was trapped within the agency and the promise that he had made, but he still thought to this day that his promise was worth it. V couldn’t ever tell him anything about Ray the few fleeting times they got to talk about things on the phone, but he did know that the “cat” was doing better than ever.

Life was different.

But, at the same time, life was better than it had ever been.

However, as he thought about how sad it was that the boys couldn’t see each other, the gears in his brain began to churn. He wanted the boys to have a chance for something, but to give them a chance, he would have to be careful about what he did. As he looked out the window of his kitchen to the backyard, he saw Ray taking photos again, laying in the glass as he stared at the sky once again.

Could he give Ray and Saeyoung a gift at the same time?

V would have to think deeply about this.

—

Seven had received a simple invitation in the mail that wasn’t labeled and wasn’t decorated. It was a mint-colored letter that told him who it was from but wouldn’t reveal to Vanderwood, his handler, that it was a message from someone that he cared about. He had to wait a few days to open it because he had just moved into his new house and Vanderwood had to help him set up a lot of things.

When he opened the letter, he’d been surprised to see that it was a decorated invitation to visit V’s upcoming art exhibition. He was supposedly showing off new works that he had done as well as the works of his new assistant that had just joined him. That didn’t strike him as odd at first, but what did stand out was the message that V penned at the bottom of the letter.

There was just one sentence.

The cat will be there on display. — V

Seven was able to put two and two together. He realized that V was implying that his twin was going to be showing off art for the first time, underneath a pseudonym, of course, but he didn’t once think that his brother would be able to do something like that. He had no idea of the life his twin was living, what he did, what he loved, who he was now, or what it meant to be a part of his life the way that V was.

That was just it… he wasn’t apart of Saeran’s life. He was just his brother that had to leave him, and that was it. He hadn’t seen him in years and a part of him wanted badly to know how he was doing and what he was doing with his life, and this alone should’ve been enough to make him be sure that Saeran was safe and happy.

But, his stomach twisted in knots as he realized that he wanted to go. He wanted to go there and see Saeran in person if he could. It wasn’t a good idea, it was a dangerous idea, but the more he thought about his brother, the more he felt like he needed to see him. He didn’t want to risk any part of Saeran’s new life.

He didn’t want to be the wrench that destroyed everything that Saeran had, because if V was able to do these kinds of things for him, then that meant he was happy. It meant that he had nice ways of living now, and that he had anything he could ever want. It seemed good to know that much, at the very least. He stared at that invitation for the longest time.

He didn’t know what to do with himself because he was between wanting to go to see what he looked like all grown up and happy, but the other part of him warned that if he went, he would risk Saeran’s life all over again. Even if he was careful and lied about everything, it might still put a target on Saeran’s back.

Seven spent a long time thinking about it.

The choice was his to make and V didn’t say that he had to go. He just made it an option that he could choose to come if he wanted. If he could come, anyway. V didn’t know certain things for his own protection. He only knew Seven’s new address for emergency reasons in case something went wrong with Saeran and they had to run through proper protocol.

Should he go and risk it all?

Or, should he stay and keep this letter as a token that Saeran was safe?

It was a big choice to make and he didn’t know the right answer, and there was nobody to ask or talk to about the answer that he wanted to make. Nobody could make it for him and he had to do it on his own. That’s what he always had to do. He always had to decide things that were above his pay grade… it was the price of being the big brother, he always told himself.

In the end, Seven decided to risk it.

He made a plan for it and worked himself into the ground for days ahead of time so he would have a day off. Those didn’t come very often and Vanderwood wouldn’t bother him as long as the work got done. If he didn’t, they would drop by and remind him what was at risk if they’d shirked off when they didn’t need to. When they weren’t supposed to. Their lives were on the line and that was the truth.

The agency had never been like the movies.

It was much, much worse.

This wasn't the kind of life or you could just hack something and get paid for it. They did expect him to be able to do things without a single question. He was expected to absorb information like a sponge and that was all he had to do. If he couldn't keep up with everything that they planned out for him, then it would just end poorly. It would end the same way that Vanderwood had been telling him… in his death.

He didn't plan on dying anytime soon if he had anything to say about it. He was going to keep living because he needed to. There was no other choice in his heart. His brother needed him to be alive and that was the only way it had to be. It was the only way he was going to let it be. He was doing this so he could have the last bit of motivation in his heart to know that he was doing the right thing.

He kept telling himself that if he saw Saeran just one more time…

Just one more time.

It would never happen again and he would never let it be that way. It was a selfish desire because he had already wasted a lot of time by waiting until late that morning with his brother all those years ago. He couldn't leave his brother in the middle of the night. His brother was afraid of being alone in the dark and he waited for sunrise because if he could do anything that day, it would be to leave his brother feeling hopeful instead of the gotten.

He knew that it was going to take some time for them to be able to remove his twin brother from that place. It wasn't going to be easy and it wasn't going to be simple. He knew that it could take weeks for them to be able to remove him.

To leave Saeran was to break his heart. The only thing that he could offer him that last day was the sunrise. He wanted to be able to wash it with him but if his twin knew that he was leaving, he would have tried to come along. He couldn't let that happen. He could have never told him no and that's why he left the way he did.

Seven disguised himself the day of the event. If there was one thing he learned in the agency, it was how to dress himself up and look so unlike himself that he could wander around without fearing people recognizing him. He did have a few favorite disguises that he liked to wear. Even though the agency had forced him to do this because he was young and young people were easy to blend in with the crowd, he had been able to learn that he actually really liked dressing up. He never would have known that before this.

There was just something very validating about being able to dress up. It made him feel good about himself which didn't happen very often. The fact that he had this skill was definitely a comfort because if he was going to break all of the rules, he wanted to make sure that he was going to be safe. Anything that would stop him from putting his brother in danger was going to be for the best.

The gallery show was being held at the same place that he met V. He knew exactly where it was and he knew how to get there. For him to be able to confront it, he decided that the best way for him to handle it was to drive halfway there, and then walk the rest of the distance and get a taxi if he needed it. He was already covering his appearance but he wasn't going to take any chances with someone tracking him. He could never leave any loose ends for himself.

It took a little bit longer to get there, but he was able to get there in just the nick of time.

Seven allowed himself to catch his breath as he stood in the doorway and looked around the room. There was definitely a crowd that'd come to see the show, so it was hard to tell as to where everyone would be. He drew in this short breath and looked around again, trying to spot his brother in the sea of people. He felt dejected when he didn't see him, but he saw V after some scanning and found himself pausing to see what he would do.

"Thank you all for coming today, I hope that you are able to enjoy the collections of work that has been displayed today. What I have been working on myself pales in comparison to my assistant, they prefer to remain out of sight for their privacy, of course, but they want you to enjoy their collection with an open mind. Every artist puts their heart and soul into what they capture, and the reflection on the canvas is just the feeling that you can define for yourself. Whatever you see is what is in front of you. The same feeling that the artist feels when they decide to convey their emotions."

The crowd gave their gentle affirmation in response and cheered for his words. Though, Seven met his eyes and the man smiled back at him. It took away some of the anxiety that he was feeling. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to take the risk?

As the crowds dispersed and began to look around, Seven decided he would do the same thing. After all, nobody would know him underneath this long wig and costume, and since he hadn't seen Saeran, he wanted to see his photos. He managed to find where they were located in the gallery after passing what he knew to be V's unmistakable photos of the sky. He always felt really good whenever he saw those photos of the Galaxy, but he wasn't looking for that today.

The photos shifted from the stars to something else entirely, something he didn't expect to see. The first photo he saw was of the sky… unlike the stars in V's hands, this was the clouds. It was the bluest sky he had ever seen. The clouds were arranged in a pattern that looked like fruits to him, like a strawberry. Saeran had always loved the blue sky… this had to be one of his photos.

If he stepped some more forward, he would find a photo of all kinds of scenery. There were sprawling fields of flowers, beaches filled with shells, lakes and the lily pads that bathed them, even expansive gardens that looked ripe with love and care. It was overwhelming to see all of these photos because they were places that his brother had always wanted to see. It overwhelmed him to see it. Each one of those photographs was labeled with Assistant. It was all by Saeran's hand.

His twin had been able to capture everything that he saw. It was like standing next to his brother as he was able to experience these things for the first time. He missed out on seeing his brother's face for the first time when he got to witness all of this, but seeing all of these photos gave him a chance to have that experience firsthand. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes.

When he came to the end of the hall, he found the last photo.

It was a photo of a single red flower. He leaned over to look at the caption to see what it was called, this one was named Gladiolus. He didn't know that word. Was it the flower? Did it stand for something? It was such an intense looking flower. It made him question the feeling that he was experiencing.

"Gladiolus, named for the Latin gladius, meaning sword. In Rome, they stood for the gladiators that fought valiantly with their brothers in arms. They symbolize strength and integrity. In some cases, they can also mean remembering a Fallen Friend, or thinking of someone who meant everything to you," a humble voice spoke from the side as Seven stood there in front of the photograph.

"Interesting," Seven said, as he turned his head to meet V's gaze. Couldn't alright say what he was thinking. "Does that mean that this…"

V smiled. "Gladiolus grows often in my growing garden these days. My assistant cherishes them dearly because they’re a reminder of someone who he hasn't forgotten since the day he had to move on without them. There are plenty of portraits of flowers here, some of their meanings are listed underneath the photographs. Feel free to look at them all. I'd say this one is the most striking, though."

This flower was dedicated to his older brother… It was a photograph meant to truly symbolize Saeyoung. Saeran hadn't forgotten about him. It had been his biggest fear that his brother would move on and forget about him. Even though he tried to live without thinking about his brother in the life he was living now, he selfishly wished that his brother would still think of him fondly, if not kindly, but at most fondly.

Despite everything, his brother still thought of him after all these years.

V silently stepped to the side and Seven looked beyond him to see what he had been blocking. Across from him and on the other side of the room stood his twin brother, his hair now dyed a minty shade, and green contacts obscured his golden eyes, but there was no mistake. His brother was smiling and laughing alongside those closest to V, those that were in the RFA that V had told him all about.

Jumin Han and Jaehee Kang were conversing with Saeran, while Zen and Yoosung Kim had their hands on his shoulders, being the ones in the room who made him laugh. That was the thing he could see from his vantage point as the crowds were moving in and out of the way. But, there was no doubt about what he saw.

It looked like a family.

Seven felt his eyes welling up with thick tears for the first time in a very long time. He knew he was crying but he couldn't stop it. Saeran looked happy and free and it was all thanks to his Dad, V. He was speechless at that moment and he didn't know what to say. He rubbed furiously at his eyes but it did nothing to quell the tears.

This was all he ever wanted for his twin brother.

"I bought this painting for you," V broke his train of thought by saying something. "This is yours, after all. I know that you can't have any more than this, but that doesn't mean that you can't have a piece of him with you. It's very common for the people that you know to collect, isn't it? Who's to say that you weren't interested in collecting? Think of it as my gift."

Seven wanted nothing more than to hug V at that moment. He couldn't make a scene or be recognizable in any way, but he felt like the man understood what he was trying to say and convey. "Thank you, V… thank you. I don't know what to say."

Their time had run out as an alarm began to react on Seven's phone. V pressed his hand to his shoulder and nodded at him, "Even if the rest of the world tries hard to keep my sons separated, I'll do everything in my power to make sure that they can have a piece of each other to hold onto no matter where they are in the world."

"Your assistant has a very bright future, foster his skills," he smiled back at him despite the pain. He watched as V headed back to the little group with their family. Saeran hugged V and said something that Seven couldn't hear, but the happiness on his face was telling enough. Laughter and all sorts of things spread between them. The group began to talk amongst themselves and by the time that V turned around to see where Seven was, the lonely hacker was gone again.

Just as quickly as he had appeared.

As was the photo of Gladiolus.

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pickacardreading · 3 years

Text

HOW COULD I BANISH THE FEAR IN MY MIND? 😵

Choose the pile that sparks a memory in you. It has your answers

1. MICE

The key to banish the fear in your mind is to realize that sometimes it's okay to feel that you are not as independent as you are, used to, or think you are. A lot of you are in conflicts regarding love. It could be from fire signs (Aries, Leo, and possibly Sagittarius). This particular individual seems to have a lot of power over you and they rip the independence and abundance that you used to have. You may feel very in uncertainties with them or regarding them whether on where you stand or what you should do with this person. Now you feel that you're really in lack and unable to stand alone. It's really okay to accept the momentary of facing many directions. A lot of times, we are being faced with many options and difficult choices, but we take the choices much easier when we are in our element. When we are not though, it could feel so difficult. Know that you have the strength in you to overcome any problems and uncertainties that you won't let them overly influence you. In the middle of uncertainties and fear of what's going next or what things that you should take, the stillness is what helps you

When you are faced with confusing decisions, always choose the one that's easier for you to take in the long term and the one that brings much easiness to you. Even if it's the hard decision to take, you can consider the benefit of peace that you will gain after you take that difficult decision. Release anything that's connected to them as they are only serving for lessons, not destiny even if it may seem like they are. Sometimes we are stuck in this karmic energy where it seems like they are the one but actually they are here only to teach us lessons of things we never realize. After you are learning about the lessons you gain with this difficult situation and decision, a beloved partnership is granted to you. There are still hopes in the future even if you feel like you no longer have that. In every ending is when the beginning starts. Good luck!

2. CLOUDS

The key to banish the fear in your mind is to stand firm by yourself by thinking that nothing will get you as long as you stand tall, be assertive, and logical. Things may not make any sense for you and as someone who thrives in the realm of logic, it annoys you so much even to the point of irritation cuz you like anything to be clear cut. Because of that, it makes you fearful as you don't know how to handle these situations. Try to be calm with yourself as you dissect the situation one by one, separating from which one can be solved easier and which one may need harder time to solve. You may need to use your eccentric and new ways to solve these things while still remaining in your logic. When logic combined with eccentricity, no fear would stay long in your mind. Both things are the power to combat any fear that linger in your mind. Always assure yourself that new beginnings are in there for you. That you are not gonna forever stuck in things that logically doesn't make sense for you. This new beginning is what your life really thrives on and it could be the beginning with your aspects of life in practical, spirituality, or emotional wise or it could also be meeting new people. Overall this is a good energy to tap in.

Really be brave with what you are taking of as the way to solve the fear even if it's not the usual thing that you'd like to do. For some of you, the way to banish the fear is to try to get to new people or people you are not used to go to to ask for their solutions or opinions over the fear that you have. You don't have to be afraid of the judgements from them because great people are out there to help you even if it's taking the risk to do so since most of the time you prefer to solve things logically by your own. For others, you are being encouraged to try something new either by going to new places or areas that by doing that as a way to refresh yourself, you are going to find the solutions to the things that you are facing right now. Know that now you are being encouraged to try anything new whether by going to new people, places, or areas and from that courage of trying something new and gather the output from the outsides, you are going to know how to solve this. Your courage will be tested in here but they are never meant to crush you as long as you stand strong with yourself.

3. COFFIN

The key to banish the fear from your mind is by keep moving my dear. Fear may keep you stuck in the same place but it won't go away unless you take a serious attempt to try to get over it. Try to move out of the fear by saying that you are more than whatever life throws at you and know that you'll overcome any challenges courageously and with great success. Some of you are faced with the situations where the fear is connected to the injustices that were done in the past, knowing that you fear that the things won't do good in your way and people who do the injustices to you may get away from that. This makes you really stressed out and feel stuck cuz you feel that you are not defended with this and you can't move unless the people who do injustices to you get the things that they deserve. But here you are being reminded that in logical wise, not many things and people can get away from harsh karmas that universe store in them. Even if it seems like things are not serving for you, in the future they will. Sometimes universe wait for times until it cut whatever blocks you from moving due to their injustices like sharp swords. You are being encouraged to keep moving and let go of the fears that things would turn bad on you. It won't be.

The way that helps you to keep moving from the areas of fear is to contact your friends that bring positive influences to you and to those who always seem to make you jolly. Quit from the isolation by socializing a lot with them. With cheerfulness and funny things, the fear in your mind will slowly decrease as it's changed with the happiness you gain from the laughter around you. Know that things are going to work in your favor and whoever needs to taste the power of you being avenged is going to taste that. So now you are being encouraged to enjoy the moment of laughter while the universe is working for those people, in this case serving the justices for their wrong behaviors. It's really about the gentleness you can give yourself by being happy and the way is to surround yourself with positive people where you feel homey around them. By that, you will feel truly in joy and no longer in seclusion while the universe once again is gonna take care of you.

#pick a card reading #tarot reading #witchblr #lenormand #tarot #oracle #free reading #free tarot reading #pick a pile #pick a pile reading #divination #divination community #tarot community #intuitive reading #intuitive #free intuitive reading

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needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas · 3 years

Note

I love all the smutt, really i do, but can we get some uhhhhh, TENDER fluff of the two????

Absolutely, dear anon? Let’s GO!

Sooga was a hard working man. He was not only responsible for Kohga’s welfare, but his happiness, and on occasion, his sexual satisfaction. Pair that with training of the troops, and overall making sure everything is spick and span, Sooga didn’t have much time for himself. Except for ONE day out of the year. His birthday. On his birthday, Sooga was allowed to do whatever he pleased. He was a bit stubborn about it, insisting he didn’t need it, but Kohga was relentless. Sooga hated leaving him alone, much less in the horny hands of the clan, but Kohga’s wishes were his commands. It was why he was here, right at lurelin village, and doing his favorite thing: fishing. Sooga LOVED fish, quite unlike his Master. It was nice; sitting at the end of the docks, with nothing but a fishing pole, a fishing spear, a bucket of bait, and an empty bucket for his catch.

You’d think it’d be dangerous, a yiga fishing so close to the village, but since he had been doing it for so long, the people of the village merely watched him occasionally, letting him go about his business. It was nice, and relaxing, smelling the ocean air. He already had a bucket full of porgies, and even a few crabs. They were fresh, lively. He had no idea how long he had been there, just that the sun was starting to set, and that his bait bucket was empty. Now was as good of a time as any to pack it up. He started to put his stuff away, and was about to dump them back into the ocean (he wasn’t allowed to bring them home, because Kohga HATED the smell of fish), when suddenly he felt someone tug at his leg. A little boy.

“Hey Mr! Are you gonna dump those fishes?”

“I was planning to. I cannot take them home.”

“Can we have ‘em?”

“Don’t bother the nice man, now!”

A woman, who he assumed was the child’s mother, dashed up to him, holding onto his shoulders. She gave an apologetic look, double checking the infant at her back.

“I’m so sorry sir, it’s your fish, do with them as you will.”

Sooga hesitated. The child looked longingly at the bucket.

“Do you not have food?”

“No! The meanie bokoblins just a bit offshore keep scaring the fishermen away! We haven’t had fish in forever!”

Sooga watched as a woman set up shop right next to him. No fish at her stand today. Merely arrows. Odd. Sooga nodded at her.

“Where is your house? I’ll carry it for you, it’s heavy.”

“Sir please, we don’t-”

“It wasn’t an option.”

While his voice was firm, she smiled at him. He walked behind her till he reached her doorstep, leaving the bucket right by her front door. The child dashed inside the house, yelling in joy. She looked at him, offering a sweet smile.

“Thank you so much, we can only survive so long on just palm fruit.”

Sooga nodded, before suddenly disappearing from her sight. He had things to do.

----------------------------------------

“Sooga! Welcome back, how was-”

Kohga covered his nose with his hand, turning away from Sooga, who had just returned from his birthday trip. And apparently, he smelled worse than usual. No one else seemed to mind, but Kohga just hated the smell of the ocean. Sooga gave a soft chuckle at the overreaction.

“I apologize, after my fishing, I had some...monsters to deal with. I’ll go ba-”

“No no no! You smell AWFUL. Like, the WORST you’ve ever smelled! Like fish and absolute ass. Follow me.”

Kohga walked him towards his own personal bathing room, shutting the doors behind them. The bath seemed to have been ready in advance, and Sooga softly smiled.

“You had the bath ready for me?”

“It was for ME. I was GOING to smell nice and fresh when you got back, but no, you had to smell like death. Strip, bath, now.”

Kohga was usually much more patient. But Sooga could understand. If HE didn’t love the smell of fish, he’d be recoiling as well. Sooga obeyed regardless, completely stripping, save for his mask.

“Regardless, thank you, Master Kohga. You honor me with your hospitality. I can go on and swap with you when I’m done, if you’d like.”

“What- no. I’M bathing too, Sooga.”

Sooga froze a bit. The idea of Kohga being nude was a lot for him to handle, but the idea of him being nude and WET? Suffice to say, It made him gulp. Sooga suddenly felt self conscious, as if his body didn’t deserve to be in the presence of his body.

“Master Kohga, there’s no need to be indecent-”

“Sooga you’ve had my dick in your mouth, I really don’t know what you’re afraid of.”

Sooga opened his mouth to give a retort, but found himself unable. Kohga may have meant that in a funny way, but Sooga felt it made his heart ache. Why DID he continue to be so...uneasy, when Kohga had no qualms with his wants? Kohga didn’t seem to either notice, or care, about his inner turmoil, and instead stripped himself down. Not even underwear. Just a complete, and totally nude Kohga, standing right in front with him (minus his mask of course). Even worse, Kohga put his hair down. He un did his hair, revealing a mess of curly, poofy, black hair. Kohga combed his fingers through it, before noticing Sooga staring.

“That’s right, you’ve never seen me without this much clothes, huh?”

“I’ve….never seen your hair down. It’s...lovely.”

“I love how instead of staring at my dick, you pick my hair. You’re a big, gorgeous idiot, Sooga.”

Kohga patted his bare chest, before making his way into the tub. The tub was more or less a giant hot spring, but Kohga always felt like it wasn’t big enough, so he called it a tub. Kohga sighed in relief once his body hit the water, and Sooga swore he never saw his master so content. Sooga hesitated, before walking down the steps, and relaxed, just a bit away from Kohga. They sat there for a moment, absorbing the warmth, inhaling the smell of the fresh flowers (like Kohga’s favorite; the mighty thistle. It was an assertive, yet sweet smelling scent), and letting their bones nearly melt. Sooga could be this relaxed forever, had Kohga not said something.

“What are you doing, Sooga?”

Sooga tensed up, snapping out of his blissful daydream. He must’ve done something to offend him, done something to make Kohga ashamed of him. Sooga swallowed.

“I apologize, I’m not aware as to w-what-”

“You’re all the way over there.”

Kohga chuckled, and made his way right to Sooga’s side, wrapping an arm around him. Kohga’s body felt so soft and warm next to him. Sooga couldn’t believe this was all really happening. Kohga was actually sitting here, arm wrapped around him like he owned him. Sooga never recalled when he felt so important, so….worthy. Kohga grabbed a petal that floated in their tub, lightly flicking it in almost boredom. That was when Sooga suddenly grew bold.

“Do you...need help washing your hair, Master Kohga.”

Kohga looked at him in almost surprise, before shaking his head.

“I have a VERY specific way of washing it, Sooga. But,”

Kohga’s face was suddenly so close to his, with his hands planted so firmly on his chest.

“I can do yours, if you don’t mind me gettin’ a little handsy.”

Sooga could swoon right now. Master Kohga, the most incredible man ever, was offering to clean his hair. Sooga wanted to deny him, knowing he didn’t deserve his hands, but he nodded rather quickly. Kohga chuckled, before getting behind Sooga, and un doing the ribbon that kept his hair up. Sooga’s hair was long, straight, black, and it fell down gracefully across his back. Sooga didn’t like recalling the past, but Sooga always remembered how his father HATED the length of his hair. Always threatened to cut it, always tried to pull at it. He was expecting similar treatment from Kohga, when he felt his bare fingers strum through his locks.

“Bad enough you’ve got a nice body, now you have to compete with me in the hair department.”

“You...like it? You don’t think it’s too long?”

“No? What idiot would tell you that? You’ve got pretty hair, perfect for a pretty boy.”

Kohga’s lathered his hands in soap, before running through his hair. Master Kohga was so talented, scrubbing the sweet smelling soap into his hair so carefully yet efficiently. He was about to comment as such before Kohga’s fingers suddenly dug into his scalp. A light scrunch of his hair, nails strumming against his skin. It was so soothing, so tender and affectionate, for ONCE in his life, Sooga hadn’t thought what dangers could be present. Sooga was always thinking of what could hurt either him or his master. It felt odd, not having a single thought like that pop in his head.

“Sooga, wakey wakey.”

Sooga’s head snapped up, looking around widely for a second. Kohga laughed, smacking the water surrounding them.

“You fell asleep on me! You had your head bobbing up and down and everything. You never had anyone wash your hair before?”

“N...no. Never. I apologize, I shouldn’t have-”

Kohga grabbed a fistful of his hair, and gave it a light pull, getting Sooga’s attention.

“Shh. You’re fine. It’s fine. I’m VERY fine. It was cute. If I wasn’t worried about you drowning, I would’ve kept you like that.”

Kohga gave his hair a light pat, before starting on his own. Sooga held onto some of his hair, looking at it, as if he was suspicious of it.

“Master...Kohga. May I ask a question?”

“Shoot.”

Sooga watched him wash and scrub into his locks, watched as he scrubbed at his own body leisurely.

“I wanted to ask-why are you so...kind to me?”

“Because I like you. I’ve told you.”

“You like the other Blademasters, don’t you?”

“I like all the clan. But you especially. Reason being? You’re a big, strong guy who’d do anything for me. You’re a stiff, but you got a big heart. I feel comfortable with you. You get me. And I wish you’d be comfortable with me, Sooga.”

Sooga opened his mouth to retort, before silencing himself. He was right. He loved Koga, but he didn’t feel completely comfortable with him. With ANYONE, in fact. Sooga sighed, before cupping Kohga’s face in his hands. He ignored the soap and water, and that beautiful mop of hair.

“Master Kohga. I cannot explain everything to you, for that forgive me, But what I can tell you, is that I love you with all that I am. I’m as comfortable with you as I can make myself. You are my world. My light in my darkness. I’d follow you to the ends of the earth. It’s why I constantly question if I’m good enough for you. I was brought up to believe my worth was nothing. I want you to have the opposite of that. Everything.”

There was a moment of silence between them. One that was only interrupted by the water, and soft popping of bubbles. Kohga sighed.

“Lift your mask up, a bit. Just so I can see your mouth.”

Sooga obeyed, though his hands lightly trembled. There was a punishment instored for him, he knew it. At least, he thought that up until Kohga did the very same, and pressed his lips against his. Master Kohga...was kissing him. His lips were so soft, so full, as if they were the clouds themselves. Sooga sat there, dumbstruck, even as Kohga pulled away from him.

“Look, we all got bullshit pasts and junk, Sooga. But here and now, know that you’re special to me. Whatever someone told you however long ago, doesn’t matter now. I’M telling you you’re good. You’re worth my time. You’re something to me, you big, dumb man.”

Sooga had never been told he was something. Never been told he was worthy. It made his hands shake a bit, before he suddenly found himself sweeping Kohga into his arms, and kissing him again. He wasn’t rejected. Wasn’t pushed away. He embraced him, arms thrown around his neck and hands digging into his soapy scalp. Kohga pulled away this time, and Sooga caught a glance of that smirk. Oh be still his beating heart.

“Sooga, I know it’s your birthday and all, but I got a command for you.”

“Anything, name it.”

“Sit here, and kiss me until you’re sick of it.”

“So...kiss you forever?”

Kohga laughed, before throwing himself at Sooga, lips locked onto his own as the water splashed around them. Nothing else mattered, but Kohga.

#asks #kohga #sooga

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kanene-yaaay-o-retorno · 3 years

Text

The boy on the farthest table

Kanene’s Notes:

So, I’ve been reading all the fluff content with Dadzawa I could find and I am very surprised I didn’t manage to stumble in a Dadzawa running a Cat Café so I thought ‘h e y’ why don’t I make it??? SO here we are!!

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* That fanfic has Dadzawa and Yamadad and their relatonship can be seen as romantic, if you wish.

* This happens in the same universe as This Fanfic Here and you can also find it on AO3.

* No warnings this time!! Only fluff and a bit of hurt/comfort.

* This characters do not belongs to me. They all belongs to the amazing the manga/anime Boku no Hero.

* Something around 2.500 words. -w-)b.

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any advice is very very welcome!

* Tô com preguiça de postar a versão em português brasileiro aaaa! Thankys for reading, my lollipops! Eat a delicious snack, sleep a bit, take care and drink water and sleep well! Byeioo!~

[~*~]

Aizawa doesn’t really care about his clients more than the strictly necessary amount. He arrived where he is because of the cats and the coffee. If people paid more because he decided to mix both together and open a business with that premise than better for him.

So, yes. Aizawa doesn’t care at all about his clients. Neither held any favorites above the others, don’t matter what Yamada tried to imply with his ‘discrete’ smug eyes and knowing grin as, for the second time today, the black haired worker narrowed his eyes at the boy sitting on the farthest table, lost in his deep thoughts as he stared intently at his notebook just like he has been doing for the past two hours, lazy scribbles fulfilling the lines in a tired, yet determined attempt to keep going.

The owner of the Cat Café didn’t really care about what his clients did as long it didn’t annoy his cats or him.

However, that doesn’t mean he kept himself completely oblivious of what happened at his establishment nor the persons who attended there.

Perhaps he wasn’t the most enthusiastic worker there – that is why him and Hizashi had an unspoken agreement that he would stay firm on his place making drinks and serving pastries, sometimes scaring some insufferable clients away, while the louder, social friend would focus in talking and getting the orders, – but he knew enough to not be a bad one.

He knew that the girl with yellow bright eyes and nuts and bolts shining in between her curls liked strawberry muffins, tended to not be able to stand still for much time, and visited on Fridays, so he always kept one baked sweet hidden for her on these days.

Just like he always recognized that tall, skeleton-like adult as soon as his form crossed the door. A client who came especially for the cats and the Jasmin tea, although always sneaked a couple and more glares to the cat-themed cookies, so he made sure to “accidentally” drop one with the donuts he always asked to go for “- a friend! He loves them but is often very busied with work… So, I thought I could try and treat him a bit after everything he already did to me!” And also, who, in the next day, came back to attempt to pay for the free cookie but was, day after day, defeat by Hizashi’s stubbornness and convincing abilities, leading the loyal client to make sure to put a generous tip on the Tip Jar as a revenge, making sure to stare intently at the pouting worker during the whole process.

Or the young girl with red eyes full of curiosity and a tongue full of questions which him and Yamada took turns to answer, eliciting shy smiles, bright excitement and a glare full of gratitude from her older brother, who used the free time to study while she ate and played with the kittens, sometimes even falling asleep when his two friends – an extremely quiet boy with a gigantic sweet tooth and an electric smiley girl who always convinced the younger one to help her to gather the biggest amount of sleepy cats to nap on the blond teen before he wakes up in the middle of purrs and laughter - accompanied them.

That being said, Aizawa liked to be informed and, above everything else, was good at getting the information he needed. He mastered the skill of analyzing details and understanding situations others used to ignore, making connections and arriving to conclusions that seemed foreign to others, that is why he continued to cast quick frowns and glances to the boy, doesn’t liking at all how his brain continued to run and turn, seeking for any answer or hints of what happened to him, only to get at nowhere. He was, obviously, just trying to assert the situation, which had nothing to do with the fact that the boy – always shining, always with such a bright smile every time he ordered anything – was alone on this Saturday. A not so rare occasion, since even though the café was a common place for him and his friends to meet – an occurrence impossible to ignore due how full of energy and joy and chaos and energy they all were, - he also seemed very keen to spend hours writing and studying on his own.

However, there was something different today. Something to do with how quiet, concentrated, calm, lethargic the teenager was acting the whole time, which worrie- no, intrigued him.

Because Aizawa wasn’t worried. Of course not. That would be illogical and preposterous. He wasn’t anything to the child, not his family, not a friend, not a relative, just the guy who grunted a one-word answer every time the younger tried to make small talk and pretend to not notice him and Hizashi trading cute cat videos and pics during the blonde’s breaks.

Hell, he didn’t even share more words than the necessary with the green haired boy. The longest interaction they ever had was when the younger one came to him on his first time visiting the place and asked for more cat toys, since all the available ones were already being used. Which maybe or maybe not led to Aizawa leaving his friend to deal alone with the orders while he took his time to show and explain the favorite toys of every cat the green boy pointed.

Which was, sure, only a revenge on his boisterous coworker since the aforementioned interrupted his morning nap by tripping on him on his way to the kitchen (and yes, it was Yamada’s fault for not looking at where he’s going and obviously not Shouta’s because he decided to ‘JUST FREAKING PASS OUT ON THE FLOOR. HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO SEE IT?’) and, not content with his actions, decided to lock the other out of his own establishment, only letting him come back after lunch and, consequently, at least five hours of sleep, leaving him on the care of Nemuri, who proceeded to tease him unmercifully for the whole length of yesterday.

Consequently, it was only a payback, of course. The gleam on the smaller’s eyes as he took notes on a well worn out notebook and the fact that, on the next Saturday, the boy distributed all the correct toys between his friends and their favorite cats were two completely ignorable things and therefore unrelated with the quick, barely visible smile appearing on the corner of his mouth on the respective day and every time he remembered that occurrence.

But, when a quiet sniff reached his ears, Aizawa almost felt his neck crack with how quickly he turned on the other’s direction, just in time to see the ending of the teenager’s action of wiping a few tears away. The one who definitely didn’t get enough sleep on his entire life to deal with it sensed his left eye twitch.

That. Is. It.

“Shouta…” Hizashi whispered behind the usual smile he plastered for the customer in front of him, nodding while writing down what she said and chipping excitedly for her to just wait a little bit to get her order, deviating his attention to his friend when she moved away to sit in one of the unoccupied tables, both taking the opportunity of having no more customers in the line to held some private words. “Do you want me to go there?” his voice was bathed in worry, because his coworker was emotional like that.

“No.” And Aizawa didn’t know why he was so fast to answer, however he was already washing his hands, mind running, seeking to remember how other people - besides his friends, who were barely humans, - worked. “You know I hate being the cashier.”

“Riight.” His way-too-smug-grin was fast to become a snicker when his friend aimed a kick on his shin, which he promptly dodged. “Hey! I didn’t even say anything!”

“Your thoughts are loud. I will be right back.”

His eyes were focused on the kid, who now was curled on his chair, chin resting on his knees as his arms firmly hugged his legs, making him look even smaller.

Aizawa grunted, part of him feeling inclined to just drop an entire gallon of water on his head to successfully wash all his problems way, or maybe shake all the bad, lying thoughts taking over his mind and resulting in a few tears to escape what, on its turn, made a strong feeling of protectiveness, which was immediately ignored, shines on him. But Shouta knew he couldn’t act on any of those two options because it wasn’t “socially acceptable” – nor very useful, but he ignored that part, - and “problems” and “people” tended to be more complicated to help than that.

The older sighed, kneeling on the spot before the front door where the sun passed through the window and made a perfect warm piece of floor for the big, - extremely big - messy pile of purple fluff lay and nap without a single worry in the world, not even stirring as the customers had to tiptoe around him to get in and out of the establishment.

Shinsou hissed when Shouta first petted him, although was fast to purr louder than a machine as the human began to scratch behind his ears, going back to his peaceful sleep. He was the most calm, chill and snarky cat he has ever seen. His hobbies consisting on getting on the highest shelves to watch the entire place with a judging, tired glare and napping on people’s laps, especially when they were about to head out, which made his customers to order something else and stay for at least more fifteen minutes, not having the heart to interrupt the purple’s sleep.

Needless to say, he and Aizawa got along just fine. Even with the animal’s habit of climbing him to nap on his shoulders and teaching the younger kittens to do the same thing, knowing very well the one with dark hair would never have the heart to put them away, the human knew he sustained a soft spot for him.

Nemuri and Yamada liked to tease him, affirming that Shinsou was his cat form and Shouta would never admit he agreed with them.

He also ignored the implications of that when he remembered Shinsou was one of the green haired bag of energy favorites.

“I have a mission for you.” It was the only mumbled warning the cat had before being carefully scoped on the human’s arms, melting on the embrace, hissing, yawning and then proceeding to melt even further. Shouta huffed, amused.

‘Brat.’

Another signal that the teenager was much more trapped in his mind than the normal was the fact he didn’t realize the adult coming closer, nearly jumping three feet in the air as Aizawa’s command hit him.

“Sit correctly.”

The teenager yelped, looking at him, at himself and then at him again, a strong shade of an ashamed red taking over his features. “O-o-of course, sir! I am sorry!” He bowed, putting his feet on the ground and straightening his back, a slight tremble on his movements making the adult frown.

“Don’t think too much about this.” And before any protest could come out of the other’s mouth, Aizawa laid Shinsou on his legs, leading the boy to freeze completely, eyes locked on the cat, who just blinked lazily at him and started to knead his thighs, low, rumbling purrs escaping, demanding the new human as worthy.

A barely suppressed squeal flew from the younger, who already seemed ready to cry again, although for different reasons.

The cat café’s owner hid his amused smile by catching a kitten who approached with curiosity, petting him and proceeding to flop him on the soft, green curls. Ojiro meowed, purring and immediately attempting to eat his new environment.

“I…” His wide, wobbly smile increased further as Shinsou butted his head on the teenager’s palm, his voice, a whisper, lapsing for a beat. “I love them.”

There was no way for the adult to hide his snort at his words, but the Problem Child seemed unfazed with his reaction, turning to him with shiny eyes and smile.

“Thank you so much, sir!”

After a nod, Aizawa turned away and came back to his spot behind the counter. And if talking and taking orders when Hizashi uses part of his break to “discreetly” take a few pictures of a beaming boy smiling to the camera and pointing the cats on him to send to him later, is much more bearable than before? It has absolutely nothing to do with the young figure on the farthest table sporadically giggling as he plays with an Ojiro who is fiercely convinced he can win the battle against the red laser.

[…]

“Excuse me, Yamada-san. I’m sorry, but my order was 476 yens and you only charged me 200.” Aizawa knew the boy was going to lose the fight the moment Hizashi only grinned and locked the cashier, completely ignoring the two pieces of paper on the other’s hand.

“Don’t worry about it, little listener! Don’t worry! Take this as a thank you for letting Shinsou and Ojiro sleep on you for one hour, okay?”

“B-but sir! It was no problem at all!” The way he moved to prove his point made Aizawa picture a small, energetic bunny. “I really like them and I was going to stay here longer anyway!”

“Now, now, young boy.” Hizashi pointed a finger at him, trying and failing miserably to see or sound at least a tad chastising. “Refusing a ‘thank you’ is a serious offense, I wonder if I will need to give you a free blueberry muffin to go because of that…”

“No!” Aizawa huffed, turning away from them and heading to the tables, taking the opportunity of how low the business was to clean and prepare them for the next customers, stopping right on his tracks, mid step as a wide, pleading glare found his. “Aizawa-san,” he shook the 276 yens at his direction, puppy eyes staring right on his soul, “please.”

The dark-haired one scoffed, looking away from the powerful graze. “Don’t bring me into this. Fight your own battles, problem child.”

Hizashi laughed at the pout he received in response, having pity on the loyal customer. “Okay, okay. I give. You can pay for this.” Aizawa glared at him, one eyebrow up in a non convinced expression. His friend winked, big grins as the younger turned to him, much more smiley. “With a hug.”

Problem child seemed surprised, especially when the flamboyant employee jumped across the counter and stopped in front of him, arms open in an invitation. “Only if you’re comfortable, of course.” His voice was softer. “I can always accept 100 yens if you really want me to, little listener.”

He didn’t understand the magic thing his friend always managed to do. The way he succeeded to dance around someone’s barriers, finding openings and walking through them, asking no permission to get closer yet always attentive when to stop and retreat or to talk about every or anything. The same magic he showed when they were teenagers.

Tsuyu meowed and Aizawa kneeled down to give her attention for as long as the embrace lasted, pretending to not notice the two hugging behind him, the taller lightly swaying them while the younger relaxed, melting on the touch.

A few seconds later the anxious bunny was bowing, thanking them and getting out with a gleam on his face, hugging happily the notebook next to his chest and petting Cloud before going away. Shouta came back to his spot, Yamada followed and the green hair disappeared on the corner.

“We’re not adopting the Problem Child.”

“But he already even has a nickname! Shoutaaa, it’s meant to be! And you’re already soft for him as well, don’t deny it.”

He scoffed. “Shut up. You try to say no to those fucking puppy eyes next time.”

“You fought well,” Hizashi patted his shoulder, his own gaze getting a dangerous, gleaming light. “Dadzawa.”

The rarefied clients distributed across the café jumped when, between laughter and dramatics cries of pain, the blonde fell on the ground, a half pleased, half evil smile presenting itself on the shorter’s face in a flash before his impassive expression took over and he calmly continued with his usual chores, pointedly ignoring the ‘It was so worthy it’ snickered by his friend, still laid on the floor.

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the-falcon-of-the-fall · 3 years

Text

An Analysis of Laverre

I’ve been in the Spe fandom for 5 years, and have been around during the early days of the XY arc. The only content I got, like many English speaker fans, were Coronis’s summaries of the arc being released, and theviolenttomboy’s comics based on those summaries. Even though they don’t show much details at the time, I was enthralled by the fast pace, the action, and how interesting X and Y are, especially X. He’s a shut-in, and Y is his ever faithful friend who stuck by him despite him being a hardass at times, while also keeping their friend group together. I fell in love with them as a ship because of how loyal she was to X, an ideal many would want but unfortunately may not have, as depressed people are hard to deal with, shown with his friends having already given up on him begging him to leave his room because they have their own lives. X returns this loyalty with deep care and trust for her, while also considering her needs and emotions.

While I had other ships that eventually fell out of interest, Laverre has staunchly remained as my absolute favorite ship of Spe, and perhaps one of the top faves among all of my ships. It’s because it’s been with me for a long time, but it also resonates with me. I do have depressed friends, some lost and some still present, and I understand the pain it is at times to try to help them, not being depressed myself. I have a long-term boyfriend who faces similar issues X has, who I sometimes can’t understand because I don’t have those same issues. I can relate to Y of the frustrations felt towards X, and sometimes, my friends are too frustrating for me. However, Y has the ability to make it clear when he has pissed her off, and X has the ability to recognize he causes her stress and try to own up to it and change instead of blaming it on circumstances, most prominent when she points out how him running off to fight Team Flare is an incredibly awful decision that endangered him and everyone else to try to back him up, and cause them a lot of grief. He apologizes for doing that to Y, and listens to her for the rest of the arc by communicating properly on what he plans to do.

But even before that most notable moment between the two, during their time with Cassius, X gives Y distance when she finds out Grace was kidnapped by Team Flare and makes it clear she wants to be alone. While it may look like he’s not considerate of her needs, X’s already established to be a bit of a mess, already has pissed off Y by using her Rhyhorn as his new room, and is very mad and stressed about those news too, so him trying to help her with that would make things worse. Not only that, it’s established he has a much better relationship with Grace, with X stated to care a lot for Grace by Y, and we can see that as him venting it out by needlessly Mega Evolving and defeating a wild Pokemon, and being even more snappish. Not only is X a mess who has grief on top of that, he’s going to be biased to Grace, and he knows that won’t help Y whatsoever, who already is acting withdrawn to everyone else.

We can see that Grace tries to drag X into her argument with Y the day before Vaniville gets destroyed, but he refuses to get involved, not only because that is a shitty move on Grace’s part, but because it’s not his own problem. He can’t solve Y’s problems with Grace, only she can. Grace’s her mom. So, he gives her space to process her feelings while he and the rest of the group try to move with their best course of action.

As shown here, X still shows concern for her. Y tells him while she is still upset, she decided to let go of it because the situation right now is dire and she can’t sit around and grieve. All it matters at the moment is to stop her brainwashed classmates from crashing the helicopter everyone’s in.

As shown here, X trusts her to fight them off, while they focus on trying to stop the brainwashing, show in the next panel. She doesn’t keep it bottled up for long either, as she vents out her problems about Grace on Yvette while she fights her, and finds herself feeling better from it, and realizes that she shouldn’t have been so secretive about her stress to her friends either.

While it may hurt, giving space to those who you care about when they are stressed and make it clear they want to be alone is sometimes the best option. Trying to help them when you know you aren’t in a good position to do so is only going to make things worse for them. Let them decide how to solve their stress and how to express it, as they’re the ones in charge of it, but let them know you’re there for them. X understands this and thus gives Y space, but still makes sure she’s fine enough to battle, then trusts her when she makes her decision, even when she admits she’s not completely fine.

Not only are they able to be honest with each other, own up to their faults, and know when to intervene and when to not, they both inspired the other to change for the better. X deeply inspired Y, as seen in their childhood flashback of him encouraging her to pursue her dreams of being something not a Rhyhorn Racer. This radically changed her view of herself from being helpless to the whims of others and to hide her true feelings, to having control over her destiny and to be honest about them. Y is deeply grateful for this, and despite him being a hardass, she sticks by with him because she truly loves him for that.

Y in turn also inspires X, as it takes until the end, where X realized that while people have tried to exploit him and his Pokemon and Team Flare are powerful assholes, he had people who were always supporting him, including Y, waiting for him to go out before the entire mess happened. This makes him realize his view that the entire world is out to get him is wrong, as while he agrees with the misanthropic Emma the world is terrible, there are good people who want to help him. It may have taken years instead of probably a few months for Y, but she has inspired him to change for the better, and he’s grateful for that too.

Interestingly enough, while X is a hardass to Y at times, he never is very aggressive to her, whereas he is towards Tierno and Trevor when they want X to try something out and cooperate respectively, though both happened for one time and both situations were particularly stressful. While he certainly shouldn’t be so aggressive to them, this makes his respect for Y more prominent, as while Y yells and scolds at him all the time to stop being a dick and get out of his room/tent, he doesn’t really do anything as direct as that. This seems to indicate that Y’s extremely important to him, unfortunately for those two, or he knows Y really won’t put up with his bullshit unlike Tierno, who while nice, is firm that he shouldn’t have done that, and Trevor’s very easily scared, though is able to assert himself.

While it’s a popularly held belief X and Y have a sibling-like relationship, I very much disagree and dislike. And it’s not just because there's a lack of Western content from that notion. It also feels very shameful to even like them romantically because of that. The manga itself doesn’t even seem to support it either. Grace may have taken care of X for at most five years and that takes up a big part of their life, but X and Y don’t seem to think they’re siblings. While of course, it varies case by case, kids being raised together starting at the age of 7 is generally not young enough for them to consider the other siblings. Hell, it seems to support there may be some romance going on on Y’s part:

I would never call my theoretical brother that in a serious situation if you ask me. Of course, you can view it as a phrase with deep platonic love, but this wording is most certainly not sibling-like. It also seems to imply Y has been trying to get X out of his room for so long because of her infatuation for X that evolved into pining, though that could just be shipping goggles.

In a previous panel shown here, X also refers to Grace as “your mom” when asking Y if she’s going to be fine after isolating herself from the bad news of Grace being kidnapped, instead of “our mom” or “mom”. That kind of wording is way too detached for someone who is seen by the fandom to be a sibling-like figure, and again seems to say they’re merely just childhood friends who were taken care of by the same woman.

While X’s aggression towards Cassius teasing him that Y’s his girlfriend twice was taken as disgust, it’s quite a common trope. It makes sense in character too, as X’s established to like bottling things up, so it’s not a surprise that he’d also deny that he likes Y. Cassius, while helping them, is still an adult, and X doesn’t like them so doesn’t trust him either. His extreme aggression towards Essentia assuming Y’s his girlfriend is fairly justified in that situation, as they had to separate despite it going against their rules, and X is very aware of how Y acts that it takes only one word and a slight change of attitude to crush her head. While that may be seen as extreme disgust, it’s way more likely he knows Essentia could pretend to be anyone given how she accidentally activated the mimicking people function, and knows she’s a big threat because of her Trevenant and she’s superhumanly fast.

It can be quite easy to say Y has feelings for X, but because X has forced emotional constipation, we can’t be sure if he reciprocates. X’s moments of ship tease is muddled with other factors, like the aforementioned denying Y’s his girlfriend to Cassius and crushing Essentia’s head for pretending to be Y, but there’s one tiny moment that stands out for me:

This is a rather major contrast compared to this:

Despite his acknowledgement of being a great trainer, he gets surprisingly flustered when Y tells him it was thanks to him she’s more honest towards others and herself. X, who while may not want to admit it, is arrogant on top of easily blaming himself for a lot of problems, which is why he felt secure to infiltrate Team Flare’s base. To see him surprisingly embarrassed of changing Y for the better hints he has a special attachment to Y, and possibly surprise from X himself that Y still is grateful for that and knows he can be more than a reckless idiot, even though she made it clear he stressed her and the others out a lot.

To wrap up this very long ramble up, X and Y are an example of two people, with flaws and their own issues, being able to support each other, care for each other, and be the most important people in their lives, even if X is depressed and having sometimes very unbearable flaws. However, Y makes it clear he is not allowed to get away with them just because he’s depressed and has good intentions, and he acknowledges the same. He makes it clear that he trusts and cares for her, and she appreciates and gives that in return. It’s a two-way relationship with honest communication and positive growth for the two of them, of moving as much as they can together from danger and past wounds, even if they never completely heal.

#pokespe #pokemon special #trainer x #trainer y #laverreshipping #analysis #depression

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myheartrevealedocs · 3 years

Text

Untouchable Ch 28: Memoriam (S4E7)

Warnings: mentions of murder and sexual assault to children, discussion of nightmares

Ch 27 | Ch 29

~ ~ ~

“I had another nightmare,” was the first thing Spencer said when Lydia answered his call the next morning.

They’d had a discussion the night before about what was going on. As Spencer had put it, ‘it didn’t seem like that much of a deal until it affected his work’. Lydia was one to talk about not communicating, so she listened quietly and told him they could try to sort it out more when he got back. He told her he was staying with his mom for that night, which was honestly nice for her to hear. Lydia understood Spencer’s mixed feelings about visiting his mother, so she was glad he was going to get some time that was peaceful.

But now, he was calling her at 5 AM Vegas time, likely from his mom’s room in the hospital. Whatever was going on could not be put off until he got back. “What happened?”

“Same basement, same washer, same shoes and pants, everything. But there was someone standing over the body this time.”

“And did you recognize them?”

There was hesitance on the line. Fear felt like it was a string between their cellphones.

“Yeah, I… Lydia, I think my dad killed Riley Jenkins.”

Fuck. “Spencer, are you…” She cut herself off. Of course he wasn’t sure. But he wouldn’t have told her if he wasn’t fairly suspicious too. “What makes you think so?”

“He was standing over Riley’s body! Something happened to make my mind show me this. My subconscious is trying to tell me something!”

“Okay… That’s okay. How do we fix this?”

“I need to stay in Las Vegas. I just… I have to figure this out.”

“I’ll grab the next flight out,” Lydia replied, matter-of-factly.

“Lydia, you have class-”

“You haven’t spoken to your father in 17 years and you’re going to accuse him of sexually assaulting and stabbing a child? No, sir. Not alone you won’t. My classes will deal. They always do.”

“What if I don’t figure this out? I can’t call you away for some pointless endeavor-”

“Spencer, stop. I’m coming. This is just like any other case. We can’t guarantee we’ll solve it. But isn’t the potential of bringing a murderer to justice worth it?”

“I… Are you sure?”

“I’ll be there soon, love.”

“...thank you.”

~ ~ ~

Lydia rushed through the airport and hopped into a cab, heading straight for the hotel. She was crazy worried about Reid. There was no way to process the idea of someone you love being a murderer. She hoped it wasn’t true, but she didn’t know what would be easier for Spencer to accept. He tried to play it off, but Lydia knew he harbored an anger for the man. It could cloud his judgement.

She gave the hotel room door a solid knock, hoping Spencer would be back from the police department by now to let her in. He had warned her he was going to pick up as much information on the Riley Jenkins case that morning and meet her at his room.

“Hey,” he breathed, upon seeing her face on the other side of the door.

“Hey. Where do we start?” she began stepping inside with him and stopping short to see other people inside. “Rossi, Morgan. I thought you two would be on your way back to DC by now?”

“We didn’t want pretty boy to have to deal with this alone. But it looks like he was already on top of that.”

She gave Morgan a wide smile. “This isn’t exactly my forte. I’m mostly emotional support, so any help Spence can get would be great.”

“You aren’t just emotional support,” Spencer said, already opening the manilla folders he’d collected from the station. “I have a very important job for you.”

“Which is?”

“Interviewing the suspect, of course.”

~ ~ ~

“Riley was six at the time. His father, Lou Jenkins, was supposed to pick him up from T-Ball practice at four. But he got delayed at work, prompting Riley to walk three blocks home. When his mother got home in the early evening, she found him dead in the basement.”

“This sounds like the opening to a word problem,” Lydia muttered, just low enough that Spencer couldn’t hear it.

“So, the offender came to the house after the boy arrived home,” Rossi said.

“Or picked him up on the way there.”

“Coaxes Riley into the basement,” Morgan continued, “when he sexually assaults him.”

“The boy's mouth was taped shut,” Rossi added.

“Symbolic. The unsub fears Riley will talk, panics, weighs his options…”

“Decides to make certain he’ll never talk,” Morgan finished.

Spencer nodded.

Riley had been stabbed 9 times according to the file Lydia had in front of her. The knife belonged to the family’s fishing gear, which was conveniently in the basement.

“So,” Spencer began again, “the unsub’s a white male in his late 20s to early 30s.”

“Means we’re looking for a man in his 50s.”

Morgan confirmed their speculations. “He likely knew the boy. Maybe been to his house.”

“Neighbor,” Rossi suggested.

Lydia had been quiet this whole time. Profiling wasn’t something you picked up just by watching. The theory behind it was complex. But Spencer, at least… Spencer, she knew.

“Spence, what is it?”

His eyebrows were knit together with concentration, flipping between two pages in his hands. Rossi and Morgan looked up from their own files and noticed how stressed he looked.

“My family lived less than a half mile from the Jenkins’,” he admitted.

“You think your dad knew the boy?”

Spencer glanced at Rossi, then began rubbing his temples in thought. “I don’t know. My memory’s lack of recall just reinforces how little I knew about him.”

“Reid, I don’t need to tell you that this signature was need-based and sexual in nature. The man we’re looking for is a pedophile.” With those words, the older man leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. “So, I’ll ask you again. Are you sure you want to go down this road?”

Ignorance is bliss, as the saying goes. Learning your father was a pedophile might unlock some memories that Spencer’s subconscious was trying desperately to hide from him. Most people wouldn’t want to remember that.

But Spencer was Spencer. Lydia couldn’t be one to fault him for that. She’d be desperate to know the same. But then again, she was well aware that she wasn’t the gold standard for self care. So his determination, while not shocking, was disappointing.

…also a part of her was just praying that she wouldn’t have to come head to head with Spencer’s dad.

~ ~ ~

“What did you get, Morgan?” Rossi asked as he picked up the phone. He and Lydia were on their way back from the police station after thoroughly questioning the lead detective on the case. Sadly, they didn’t get much. He was basically recounting what they’d read in the case file.

Morgan, on the other hand, had gone with Spencer to visit his mom and Riley Jenkins’s father. “William Reid works at a law firm in Summerlin. Meet us there.”

“We’re ready to confront him?” Lydia said from the driver’s seat.

“Riley was on the Little League team that William coached. So far, he fits the profile.”

“What did Mr. Jenkins say?”

“He doesn’t think it was him.”

“Thanks, Morgan,” Rossi finished.

As they pulled up to their next red light, Lydia dropped her head onto the steering wheel.

“You seem excited… Green light.”

She sent Rossi a glare and kept driving. “I know how this looks for him. He’s far too emotionally invested. But Spence is brilliant. I don’t doubt that something happened. But then again, if he’s wrong, his father’s first impression of me will be me accusing him of being a pedophile.”

“Do you honestly care what William Reid thinks of you?”

She considered it for a moment. “No… I don’t think so. But what’s ‘too far’ in a situation like this?”

“I think the best you can do for Reid today is be on his side and keep him grounded. He might find out a lot about himself that he doesn’t want to know.”

Lydia nodded, pulling onto the 95. “I’ll always be on his side.”

~ ~ ~

“Can I help you?” the receptionist on Mr. Reid’s floor asked as the four of them entered the office.

“Yeah…” Spencer began, but immediately the rest of his response died in his throat.

It scared Lydia to watch him. His tongue darted around his bottom lip and his eyes dropped to the carpet, trying to find the words. There was no way he was ready to have a civil conversation with his father. Lydia reached down and grabbed his hand to reassure him, but it didn’t look like he felt it, his mouth still open to express his silence.

Rossi took over for him. “We’d like to speak with William Reid.”

“Is he expecting you?” The woman took a moment to tear her eyes from Spence’s unsure face.

Rossi flashed his badge at her. “I don’t think so.”

“He’s in a meeting right now. Why don’t you have a seat and I’ll tell him you’re here.”

Rossi nodded and she walked off, leaving the four of them in a line in front of the main desk.

“You okay?” Morgan asked quietly.

Spencer looked at him with wide eyes and Lydia could hear his uneven breaths. “Yeah… No-- Yeah-- I’m gonna go to the bathroom.”

His hand fell out of hers as he scurried down one of the hallways and out of sight.

“Well, shit,” Lydia mumbled.

“I’ve never seen him like this before,” Morgan admitted.

Rossi shrugged. “Seventeen years is a long time to go between visits.”

“Not long enough. The kid’s still angry.”

“Yeah, I’m starting to get that.”

“Are you going to be able to run point on this?” Morgan turned on Lydia.

“One of us has got to be level-headed,” she said, not turning away from where Spencer disappeared. “I think I can manage it for a day.”

“You from the FBI?” a new voice said, catching all of their attention.

William Reid was a gangly man, like his son, with a pointed nose. Lydia opened her mouth first, wanting to assert control as soon as possible. “Yes, sir. Mr. Reid, I’m Lydia Ambers and these are agents Rossi and Morgan.”

Rossi showed off his badge again, being the only person to have it on hand.

“This wouldn’t be about the city council investigation, would it?” he joked.

“No, this is a personal matter, sir,” she replied, not letting herself hesitate for a minute. “It concerns your son.”

“My son?” His face faltered. “Did something happen?”

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out.” Spencer sounded winded as he rounded the corner and joined them once again. Lydia stared him down, trying to silently ask if he was okay, but his eyes never left his father. “Hello, dad.”

~ ~ ~

William pulled them into his office to have a private discussion. Lydia immediately took the seat opposite him. As she suspected, Spencer didn’t want to sit, so Rossi sat beside her and Morgan hovered behind them.

“You don’t look like me anymore,” William started, looking at his son to his left. “You used to. Everybody said so.”

“They say some people look like their dogs, too. It’s attributed to prolonged mutual exposure. Elderly couples, also. They unconsciously mimic the expressions of people they’ve been around their whole life. So it kind of-- kind of makes sense that I wouldn’t really look like you. I haven’t seen you in twenty years.”

That shut him up. Clearly he felt guilty for ignoring his son for the majority of his life.

...but not guilty enough to fix it.

“Mr. Reid, we’re currently investigating a case we believe you were involved in many years ago. Do you remember a kid by the name of Riley Jenkins?”

The man looked between his son and Lydia. “Of course.”

“I’ve been having dreams about him for a really long time,” Spencer explained. “But recently, the dream changed. I saw his killer and he was you.”

William raised an eyebrow, then calmly said, “Interesting dream.”

“You don’t seem all that surprised,” Morgan noted.

“I stopped being surprised by Spencer’s mind a long time ago.” He tried once more to keep the air light, but Lydia could see the nervousness in his features. At least, he knew where this was going.

“Mr. Reid, you are now on the suspect list for the death of Riley Jenkins.”

“I’m sorry?” he demanded.

“After Spencer looked into his dream, he got the perspective of some uninvolved parties, who agree that you fit parts of the suspect’s profile. It is, as you know, our job to investigate all reasonable theories.”

“You’re not actually saying you think I killed Riley Jenkins?”

“We didn’t say that,” Spencer responded.

“Good, ‘cause that’s absurd.”

“We’d just like permission to look through your computer,” Morgan continued. “Access your records.”

“And what would you be looking for exactly?” Lydia waited for one of her coworkers to answer, but none of them did. “You want access to my files?” His eyes locked onto Spencer’s. “Get a warrant.”

~ ~ ~

“We can’t get a warrant,” Spencer told Garcia as he and Lydia walked back to his hotel room. “We have to go under the radar on this one.”

“You want me to hack your father’s network?” Lydia could hear Garcia say over the line. “You sure about this?”

“I really would wish people would stop asking me that.”

He shut his phone quickly and Lydia was about to say something about the others being concerned for him when he opened the door and they both saw a small, flat package in the doorway.

“‘You’re looking at the wrong guy,’” Spencer read off the front of the folder.

Inside was a file on a man named Gary Brendan Michaels.

“I’ll tell Morgan and Rossi to meet us in the lobby again,” Lydia told him.

~ ~ ~

“Was the envelope dropped off at the front desk first?” Rossi asked as he and Morgan surveyed the mugshots in front of them.

“Nope, it went straight to my room.”

“So they knew what room you were in.”

“I do have to admit, the timing of this is a little suspicious,” Derek stated.

“Yeah. An hour after I see my father, we’re handed another suspect?”

“You think you knew this guy?”

Spencer had told her that he could have sworn this man had played chess with him as a child, but he seemed hesitant to admit it to Rossi. “I don’t know. I-I think so, but I’m not sure. I- No- I don’t know.”

“Exposed himself to a minor. That’s a precursor to molestation.”

“And murder,” Morgan agreed. “We should take a closer look at this guy.”

Seconds later, Derek’s phone went off and he reached down and put it on speaker.

“Yeah, talk to me, baby girl.”

“I’m not interrupting boy time at Crazy Horse Too, am I?”

“I’m right here, Garcia,” Lydia announced.

“Sweetheart! No one told me you were headed to Vegas.”

“Well, it wasn’t for the strip clubs, I can tell you that.”

Lydia could hear the smile in Garcia’s voice as she moved on. “Reid, we’ve been all up in your father’s business.”

“What did you find?” he asked, softly. Lydia would have reached out to hold his hand again, but he instinctively crossed his arms.

“Well, let me tell you first what I did not find. No kiddie porn, no memberships to illicit websites, no dubious emails, no chat room history.”

“What about his finances?”

The voice that answered belonged to Hotch. “We went back ten years. No questionable transactions that we can find.”

“Well,” Prentiss interrupted, “he did buy a ticket to see Celine Dion six months ago, but I think we could overlook that.”

“How many people can you fit into your batcave, Garcia?” Lydia joked.

“Just the two, Sugar.”

“He’s smart,” Spencer said, pulling them back on track. “Is it possible he kept things under the table?”

“Well, of course,” Hotch argued. “But from what we can tell, Reid, he doesn’t fit the profile.”

“We can tell you other things about him, if you wanna know.”

Spencer nodded, before realizing Emily couldn’t see him. “I’m listening,” he swallowed.

“He’s a workaholic, he actually logs more hours than we do. He makes decent money, but he doesn’t spend a lot of it. He has a modest house. He drives a hybrid. He doesn’t travel much. He stays away from the casinos. Um, and according to his veterinary bills, he has a very sick cat.”

Hotch picked up from there. “He appears to spend most of his free time alone, he goes to the movies a lot, and he reads. And from his collection of first editions, it seems his favorite author is-”

“Isaac Asimov,” Spencer answered for him. “I remember that one.”

“He does have one other major interest,” Garcia continued. “On his home computer, he’s archived, like, a kajillion things on one common subject.”

“What?”

“You, kiddo. He’s got, like, everything that’s been published online. Every article you’ve been quoted in, pieces you’ve written for behavioral science journals, he even has a copy of your dissertation.”

“He’s keeping tabs on you,” Rossi noted. “That’s saying something.”

“Yeah, that he googled me,” Spencer snapped. “That makes up for everything. I’m gonna get some air.”

Both men looked at Lydia as her boyfriend stormed off into the casino.

She rolled her eyes. “Let’s give him a minute to cool down, shall we?”

“I thought we were giving him good news,” Garcia sighed, disappointed.

“What else can we do?” Hotch asked.

“Look up a name for us, if you would,” Morgan said into his phone. “Gary Brendan Michaels.”

“You like this Gary guy for the Riley murder?”

“Somebody does.”

~ ~ ~

Lydia was lucky that Spencer didn’t exactly blend in with the casino scenery. She made a beeline for the poker games and got a glimpse of his back at a 5-card draw machine. When she got over there, a woman with a martini glass was leaning over his shoulder, talking to him.

Lydia wasn’t the jealous type, seeing as this was Spencer she was dating, so she found it funny that he’d attracted a prostitute in the 5 minutes she’d been gone.

“...if you employ optimal strategy and always draw for the royal flush, you can push those odds to 2%.”

“Hm,” she nodded, intrigued. “Smart and handsome.”

Lydia saw his eyebrows shoot up into his hairline, probably just now realizing who he was talking to, so she decided to step in on his behalf. “Sorry, honey. He’s a bit too clueless to be a good target.”

“Lydia!” Spencer exclaimed. The woman looked between them and gracefully walked off to find someone else. “I wasn’t-”

She laughed. “I got you, Spence. We’ve got more important things to worry about. How are you feeling?”

“Something’s wrong,” he argued. “I can’t just ignore the signs my brain is sending me.”

“We’re not ignoring them. But there are so many ways to interpret a dream. Don’t you think our first job should be finding out what happened to Riley? Your dad doesn’t fit the profile of a pedophile, but he could still be involved. I promise you, Spencer, you’re not going crazy. Just keep trusting your gut and we’ll get somewhere.”

A small smile pulled at his lips as he considered this. “I don’t tell you I love you enough.”

“Don’t worry-” She leaned down and gave him a peck on the lips. “-I know.”

“You two are annoyingly perfect for each other,” Derek said, appearing with Rossi. “So, what’s our next move?”

“Getting out of this casino, for one,” Lydia grumbled. “The overpowering smell of smoke is making my head hurt.”

Rossi nodded. “Reminder of all the people victim to cigarettes.”

“You know,” Spencer began, following the rest of the group back to the lobby, “recently, there’s been a lot of success in…”

Lydia raised an eyebrow, trying to figure out what had just grabbed Spencer’s attention. She knew he wouldn’t have stopped his tangent willingly. “What?”

“Hypnosis.”

~ ~ ~

“What did the detective say?” Lydia asked as Spencer hopped back into the car.

“We get 24 hours to question him.”

“And Morgan?” she continued, noticing he had not followed Spence out of the police station.

“He’s talking to Garcia about Gary Michaels.”

Lydia took a breath. “You… didn’t want to learn more about Michaels before taking in your dad?”

“You don’t think I can be objective either,” he huffed.

“You were never going to be able to be objective on this,” she argued. “That’s what we’re here for. To help you keep an open mind.”

“I saw him burning bloody clothes!” Spencer finally shouted.

He’d repeated those same words multiple times after his visit to the hypnotherapist. The woman had warned him that his memory could be distorted by the case, but Spencer was certain this had happened.

“Okay.” Lydia’s voice was much softer now, though she wasn’t sure if it was an attempt to comfort him or if she was genuinely startled by his reaction. “Then I want you to listen to one more thing before we take your father into custody. Watching your father go to prison, even if you are pissed at him, isn’t as cathartic as you think.”

“If he did something, he deserves to be brought to justice,” Spencer snapped, though he was much tamer now.

Lydia was glad to see Morgan climbing into the backseat, seeing as she couldn’t find much to respond to that. “Gary Michaels disappeared soon after the Riley murder. Luckily, we’ve got some DNA that Garcia’s running through ViCAP to see if he’s offended under a different name.”

“Good,” Lydia replied.

Spencer shot her a glare. “Let’s go.”

~ ~ ~

Lydia dressed up slightly to interrogate William Reid. As Morgan had told her, they wanted him on his toes, so she needed to look like a strong authority figure.

...which she wasn’t.

“Mr. Reid, good to see you again.”

“Where’s my son?” he demanded.

“Dr. Reid is busy at the moment. We consider accusing a family member of murder as a conflict of interest.”

“This isn’t an FBI case and the normal rules don’t apply,” he argued. “I want to speak to my son.”

“Mr. Reid, your son has come forward as witness to you burning bloody clothing soon after the Riley murder. Do you deny this event happening?”

“I want council.”

Lydia could feel the word ‘fuck’ burning behind her eyelids. Lawyers getting involved was… difficult to say the least.

Luckily, she didn’t have to deal with that. As she opened her mouth, the door clicked open behind her.

“It’s a simple question,” Spencer said. “How did the blood get on the clothes?”

“I told you, I’m not going to talk without council.”

“If you don’t have anything to hide, you don’t need a lawyer.” Lydia could feel Spencer leaning threateningly above her.

“Spencer, please. I’m not stupid… I’m proud of you, you know that?”

“I’m not stupid either.”

Seeing that she wasn’t getting anywhere, Lydia left him to his questioning and joined Rossi and Morgan behind the glass.

“Good try,” Derek told her. “This is too personal for them, there was no way they weren’t going to confront each other.”

“I just want to help him, Derek.”

“I know, kiddo.”

“Like you said, I do have special talents,” Spencer was saying across the glass. “And one of them is being able to tell when somebody’s hiding something.”

“You’re angry that I left. And you have a right to be.”

“You want to make it up to me? Tell me the truth.”

Lydia knew from his face and his silence that William was considering it. “I didn’t kill that boy… But I know who did.”

“Gary Michaels?”

His demeanor dropped immediately. “How’d you know that?”

“William Reid knows about Michaels?” Lydia murmured.

“So does Detective Hyde,” Rossi informed her. “We’re pretty sure he’s the one who put that file underneath Reid’s door.”

“Great.” Her voice dripped with sarcasm. “We love a reliable justice system.”

~ ~ ~

“How’s Spencer?”

“We’re on our way back from California,” was all Morgan said. It was possible that Spencer was with him, but Lydia figured Derek just didn’t want to answer the question. “There was a fingerprint on Gary Michaels glasses that didn’t belong to him.”

Hotch had called to let them know that Gary Michaels’s DNA had been identified on a body found 7 years ago just across the state line. He’d been beaten to death with a blunt object. So the boys went to speak to the California detectives. And now Spencer was convinced that his father had murdered Michaels instead of Riley.

“Let me know what they find.”

“We’ll likely be back at the Fountain View before then.”

“I’ll meet you in the lobby, then.”

“Oh! And I just got word that JJ has gone into labor.”

Lydia blinked at the news, trying to do some quick math in her head. “Really? She wasn’t due for like… two to three weeks, wasn’t she?”

“Yeah, she was surprised, too. But the whole team is at the hospital.”

“Let’s wrap this up soon then, shall we?”

“Sure thing, kiddo.”

~ ~ ~

Spencer’s leg bounced at an unbelievably fast rate. Lydia could tell he hadn’t even noticed it.

When Derek’s phone began ringing, he looked at the name, then to Spencer. Last chance to go back. To not know if his father was a murderer.

Spencer chose the truth.

“Yeah, this is Agent Morgan… You did?... You’re 100% certain?... Ok. Thank you.” Spencer stood up, his fingers slipping from Lydia’s grasp, his eyes begging for answers. “We’re going to have to get an arrest warrant.”

Lydia’s heart leapt to her throat. It was a painful feeling. She hoped that Spencer felt vindicated, for his own sake, but there was no way this wouldn’t haunt him for years to come.

“It was a match?”

“Yeah,” Morgan breathed. “But it wasn’t your dad.”

~ ~ ~

Lou Jenkins looked up at her curiously as Lydia entered the interrogation room. Spencer followed him in, but didn’t say anything for a while.

“Mr. Jenkins, I am sorry for your son's death. Such traumatic news cannot be easy to recover from.”

“You didn’t bring me here to talk about my son.”

“I imagine the two situations are related.”

He glared at her. “Get on with it.”

“Did you kill Gary Michaels?” she asked, softly.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“He raped and murdered my son.”

“What proof did you have of that claim, Mr. Jenkins?”

“He admitted it to me.”

“When? Did he approach you-?”

“No. No, he admitted it after accusation.”

Lydia swallowed. “Mr. Jenkins,” she hesitated, “you were threatening to kill him. It is possible that he admitted to something he didn’t do out of fear. What made you approach him in the first place?”

“He approached another kid in the neighborhood.”

“How do you know that?”

“I was told by a concerned party.”

“Who? Another parent?”

Lou crossed his arms. “That’s all I’m going to say on the subject.”

Lydia tried to consider his motivations. He was clearly not telling them something. But what was the harm in naming the person who came forward unless they were a party to the murder?

“Who was it?” Spencer demanded before she could speak her own mind.

“I told you, that’s all I’m going to say on the-”

“Who was it?” he tried again, more forcefully.

Lydia looked up at her boyfriend, trying to calm him, but his attention was driven away from the both of them as Detective Hyde walked in. “Agent Reid?”

He spun around, pointing at the man threateningly. “Do not interfere with this interrogation, detective! This is not your case anymore.”

Lydia unconsciously reached forward and put her hand up against Spencer’s back, watching him lose his patience. He was angry. No one would give him what he needed so desperately to know. Until his mother stepped around the detective.

“Spencer, it was me,” she told him nervously.

Lydia leaned forward to see Will Reid standing beside her as well. She’d never seen Spencer’s parents together, and understandably, he was a bit surprised to see it as well. His eyes flitted from them, to the detective, to Lou, to her.

He was overwhelmed. His eyes read to her like a book of the truth that had been haunting him for years. His desperation had been growing. But if only it had been his father, he could have been relieved by the news. He didn’t want to consider his mom a murderer.

Silently, he reached around to grab the palm she had placed on his back, gave it a quick squeeze between both of his hands, and followed his parents out of the room.

~ ~ ~

By the time Lydia had gotten a signed confession from Lou, Spencer had come back. He explained to her his mother’s story. How she’d gone to Lou after she saw the way Gary Michaels was looking at him. How, after identifying Michaels, Lou followed him home and killed him. And how his mother had walked onto the scene and, horrified, slipped in Michaels’s blood.

Lou and William had agreed to keep Diana out of it, if Lou ever got caught. They didn’t want her implicated for something she had no capacity to prevent. And upon learning what had happened, William immediately set to burning Diana’s soiled clothing, a scene that poor Spencer had happened upon, which caused unrest in his mind for many years following.

“I’m so sorry if this is not how you planned this trip to go-”

“Spencer!” she laughed. “We solved the case! That’s all that needed to happen. The family drama I could have done without, yeah? Are you satisfied with your truth?”

He thought about it only momentarily. “Very. It had been weighing on me for quite some time.”

“Good. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to try and get into your dad’s good graces, because we could use a rich family member between us.”

Spencer rolled his eyes, but still couldn’t hide his smile as she skipped away towards where his parents were still speaking.

Morgan, seeing this as the perfect opportunity to throw Spencer a huge ‘I-told-you-so’, approached him, but couldn’t formulate the words before Spencer said something so out of character and… frankly, just exciting, that Derek was stunned into silence.

“I’m going to marry that girl.”

Tags: @kris-stuff, @wooya1224, @bispences, @anotherr-fine-mess, @eddysocs

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