I've been thinking abt it for a while, but I think there's a chance I might draw n stream it? I just did a lil test, so ik how to stream on mobile. I'll do another check to see if I can see chat at the same time. I'm very curious abt it, so maybe it'll be a one time thing, maybe it'll happen more often. I am unsure.

I'll run many tests and then maybe. If I do go through and stream, I'd say normal times would be around 3-5pm my time (aedt).

i don't know what order to start Dissecting, so i'll just start with:

it's absolutely fascinating how the dynamic Wally & Barnaby had - to my knowledge - before the update, and a dynamic i'd seen speculated elsewhere and generally accepted, has been completed turned on its head

see, given that Wally is the "main character" and Barnaby is classified as "his best friend", i got the feeling that Barnaby kind of... tags along on Wally's 'shenanigans'. that he's the sidekick, the best friend. especially since their dynamic has been previously & briefly described as "Barnaby is very polite to Wally." he's the Companion.

but the audios sorta paint a reverse picture. in the Interview, when Barnaby enters stage right, he completely bowls over Wally's introduction and dominates the interview. when the interviewer asks how the two of them are handling the fame, even outright asking Wally, Barnaby doesn't hesitate to answer the question himself, and only about himself. Wally doesn't get another word in edge-wise until the interviewer explicitly singles Wally out.

(now, an argument could be made that Barnaby knew that Wally was somewhat overwhelmed with all of the questions, and tried to take the reins to give him a reprieve. but, considering that the interview seems to be very early on the possible timeline - like, very soon after Welcome Home debuted - i don't think this is likely. i doubt Barnaby and Wally would've had the time to solidify their dynamic or really get to know each other that well yet)

and Barnaby continues to take point in pretty much all of their other conversations, too. like in the mystery Howdy/Barnaby/Wally audio, their interaction gives off the vibes that Wally is Barnaby's sidekick, his tag-along.

(on a related tangent, it's fascinating how the website described the episodes as "[beginning] with Wally introducing the focus or theme for the day before coming across other characters who would join him on his escapades until the end of the day." but from pretty much everything we've seen so far, it seems like He's the one who's just along for the ride, bouncing from neighbor shenanigan to neighbor shenanigan instead of having his own adventures.

of course, if the 14 audios are present time, which is honestly somewhat likely, this could be because the show isn't running. they aren't doing episodes - they're just existing, doing their things. no need for Wally to take point in any way shape or form. tangent over)

in the 14 audios with Barnaby, he doesn't even acknowledge Wally until the very end - which, of course, could be because that's how the scenes are set up. except that in some of them, the characters do directly acknowledge Wally's presence outside of the endings. Eddie in 5-14, Howdy and Poppy in 1-14, and Frank in 4-14 (technically, since he was infodumping to Wally at the very start before Barnaby interrupted). you'd think that a guy would try to include his best friend a little more!

maybe i'm reading into it too much. & given what we know about Wally as a character, it would make sense for Barnaby to be the go-getter Main Guy of the two. but it really seems like its Barnaby & Wally instead of Wally & Barnaby. he's just kinda... there. going along with whatever Barnaby is up to.

but also, on the other side of things - & it's occurring to me as i type this, it's interesting how in a lot of audios, Barnaby seems to seek Wally out. in "Just So", he shows up to fetch Wally. in 4-14, Barnaby interrupts Frank and Wally's gardening session, almost as if he's stopping by to check on his little buddy. in 7-14, Barnaby calls Julie's house (presumably) searching for Wally, or at least checking in once again. something to consider in all of this!

pokemon trainer kyo + his rapidash 🔥

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

band au rahhhhhhhhhhh

❤ 2 ships passing in the night, reunited at the docks 💚

❀ building 13 movie theater headcanons !! ❀

YURRRR !! went to da movies earlier today so i kept imagining specific nanbaka characters in like cinema situations :P cinemations...cinetuations...?? YEAH-

rock is finding a way to smuggle in an outrageous amount of snacks. bro's got candy in his sleeves and chips in his pockets. originally only brought them for himself but ofc the rest of cell 13 beg him for a bite and he lets them cus thats just who he is. despite how much food he brought in he still finds himself missing the beginning of the movie bc he couldn't resist the heavenly scent of overpriced popcorn

nico is a slushy FANATIC. mixin' all the flavors, dumping candies in it n shit. totally the kid in the back of the movie theater slurping the last drop out of the cup hella loud when a quiet, tense moment is going down in a film. hajime's annoyed but stares daggers at anyone who tries to shush him. NICO'S FAV SLUSHY FLAVOR IS THE RED CHERRY ONE !!

uno, bless his heart, is absolutely the person who tries to predict the movie's plot before and during it. and the bad part is he's usually right. also the kinda guy to be scarily good at guessing what the characters are gonna say next lol

jyugo actually likes the movies more than you'd expect. always pockets the 3d glasses just cus he thinks they're cool and he likes that he can spend time with the rest of cell 13 without a heavy focus on talking or interacting. it's also a bonus that it's dark and he can sleep if he gets bored

it took FOREVERRRR to drag tsukumo out to the movies. hc that he's a much bigger fan of media without human actors in it because it reminds him less of his past, so the movie he went out to see with the rest of them was definitely animated. also likes the dark because it makes him feel stealthy, but he has a bad habit of stepping on each and every piece of popcorn or puddle of nacho cheese in the aisles...also insists on using the photo booth whenever he does hit up the cinema cus despite it all he still really likes getting his picture taken

yamato volunteers to wait on the snacks and carry them in while everyone goes ahead to take a seat in the theater. previews end and the movie is 15 minutes in but he still isn't there. everyone thought it was because the food was taking long to come out, but it's just because he forgot which theater to go to and kept circling until hajime and seitarou found him. prolly has trouble locating which seat to go to on his own cus he finds the letters and numbers confusing and hard to see in the dim light (totally not projecting)

seitarou has perfect movie etiquette and tries to get everyone else to follow his example, usually to no avail. his only problem is that he's too considerate of others and thinks he's being impolite when he's really not. the type to take the smallest bite of his food and tiniest sip of his drink so he doesn't disturb anyone. the kind to walk all the way around to the other side of an aisle because he doesn't wanna ask someone to pull back their seat for him to pass. poor guy, he even double-checked to see if his phone was on do not disturb and got shushed because his brightness was all the way up </3

andddd hajime. he's usually the sponsor for these outings since yamato literally can never find his wallet and seitarou doesn't have the heart to tell the others not to drain his bank account by buying ever concession there is. he doesn't let the inmates go wild with snacks and makes sure they behave properly while in there. uno tries to get the inmates to sneak over to another theater and catch the next showing but hajime catches them and makes them pick up the teensy bits of food they left on the ground. he's also the one who has the final say on what movie they actually go to, and even though he says he checks the ratings and plot beforehand because he "doesn't want to watch a shitty movie", it's actually because he wants it to be worth everyone's time and appeal to all of them at least a little bit. dadjime for the win <3

i’ve been watching yannis marshall choreography for like 15 minutes and i’m back thinking about my dancer au

gaz suggests a pole dancing segment for the music video for price and ghost shuts it down hard, saying he doesn’t do pole. gaz calls him selfish, that he’s just saying no to spite him but ghost holds firm; not even listening to soap as he tries to reason with him and reach a compromise

soap gets to practice early like he always does, just to see ghost blasting another life by motionless in white and doing a flawless pole routine. he’s as mesmerised by him as he always is, such beautiful movements contrasted by the seemingly harsh music, and waits for him to break before teasing, “i thought you said you couldn’t do pole dancin’.”

ghost just wipes the sweat off his face with a towel. he knew he was there

he always knows when soap’s there

“i said i didn’t do pole; not that i couldn’t.”

“what’s stoppin’ you?” soap asks, genuine and innocently curious and it’s the only reason ghost doesn’t completely shut him down

“what ‘bout you?” he asks instead. “ever done pole?”

he shrugs and sets his bag down. “enough to get in a twirl or two. ‘sides, gaz’s better suited to that kinda delicate work.”

“now, that i know is bullshit,” ghost scoffs and soap tenses, expecting him to go off on another rant about his best mate (just like he waits through gaz going off on ghost) but- “i’ve seen your competition tapes; you’re plenty strong enough to work a pole.”

soap stares at him. “how have you-?”

“price,” he answers simply, throwing the towel on top of his gear and all but stalks towards him. “i like knowin’ who i’m working with; he sent me your breakdancin’ comps. if you can hold a three-fingered hollowback handstand, you can bend on a pole.”

soap sputters as ghost grips his tank top and yanks him over to the pole, setting his hands in place on the body-warmed metal; bracketing his body with his own. he guides his body through the motions; teaches him how to fall and catch himself in a spin, how to gracefully climb and hold his body in midair

soap laughs as he throws himself into a spin just to bend his legs over his head, twisting his body to latch onto the pole with knee and lean perfectly horizontal with his other leg splayed out; his arm thrown above his head

he tips his head back to catch ghost’s grin and almost drops himself as he jumps up to join him; artfully climbing above him and holding his whole weight on his hip as he flips down to look at him

soap’s breath catches at the scant distance between their faces; so close he can count the near invisible freckles on ghosts skin, his fair lashes and the deep flecks of gold in his dark eyes

ghost is just as entranced; his grin slowly fading as he looks into the light sparkling in soap’s eyes. he tips his head towards the mirrors lining the studio and they slowly turn to look at themselves; fitting perfectly together

“see?” he whispers. “we don’t look all that outta place, do we?”

“no,” soap whispers back. “we don’t.”

...

AHHHHHH

very pleased with how it WORKS though, even if the actual braid chunk needs more tweaking shape-wise. check it out, no need to worry about stretching it out super long if you want a longer braid. dont need to lop off the ends if you want a shorter one. it just goes along with the length of the curve :)

So yeah avoiding my phone didn't work and also meant I sat on the kitchen floor staring into space for about 3 hours before Alfie woke up but hey at least I didn't break anything

Them being around is helping a little but they're also struggling and it fuckin sucks bc I know we're both just. Rotating money stress in our minds

i might be moving in with my tattoo artist friend who is also an older hot ass lesbian, oh my GOD !!!!!!!!

having one of those moments where i am remembering everything ive ever said that made somebody leave me and just wishing i would fade away instead

Ughhhhh

Like tried to open the "hey I'm thinking abt moving out" discussion and it just. Hm

- why leave when you can save so much money living here

- implications of them being hurt because I'm leaving more because this house is slowly killing me and less because of my horrific 2.5hr daily commute

- I need to live in a community again. I can't do suburbs anymore. Even urban loneliness is better than this. At least there are people about. I can go pop into little shops. Join a club. Deadass wandering around a mall would feel less isolating than this. ANYTHING

- unspoken but present "no one in our family has moved out until they got married", ESP for the women on my mother's side, and even then they moved literally down the street and formed a weird codependent dysfunctionional situation that I can't seem to extricate myself from

- it's expensive but I am going to kill someone and then myself if I have to stay here longer. I haven't had a life since 2020. And yeah partially that's covid and even more so it's Living Here and slowly dying a bit everyday after having been free and on my own for 8 yrs

- I spent those 8 yrs putting myself back together slowly and figuring out who I wanted and needed to be and within a year of being back I came the closest to forced involuntary psychiatric hold that I've ever been and I don't think that's a coincidence. The move is not entirely to blame. But it's hard to help myself in an environment like this one. I'm going to need a whole lifetime to piece myself back together and I still don't think it'll ever sit right or be whole again

- but if I leave who'll look out for bro 3. The baby. The sensitive one. The one most similar in temperament to me. Or it'll hurt my parents feelings and what little progress they've made will backslide and everything will get worse again and maybe my dad will *** and it'll just be. My fault.

-bro 2 fucked off across the country without guilt and I wish I could just not care but unfortunately I was raised to be the therapist and carer and my whole purpose of being is to sacrifice myself for other people's comfort so what else am I supposed to do. I have to make up for myself somehow

- my parents bought a starter home with shitty jobs when they were younger than me. I'm maybe NEVER going to be able to afford property, but if I don't start "wasting" money every month on rent I'm not going to live long enough for that to BE a problem. Let alone things like investing and retirement savings. But what if I lose my job or smthn goes drastically wrong and I end up back here with my tail between my legs anyways. Idk if I could survive that again

I am so goddam tired of every decision I make being the wrong one for my family. Of none of my (significant!) accomplishments mattering because they're not the traditional milestones. No I've never had a relationship, I've never even been in a date or been kissed. I'm a weird unattractive person and that's fine because I'm particular and peculiar about relationships anyway. Even if I hate that and I'm defined by hunger and grief. No I'm not engaged or married with kids. I'm tired of me appearing years behind my peers socially because I had to spend so long recovering from wanting to die all the time that I don't feel my age or maturity level even tho I AM comptent at my job and also just good and social lying to appear friendly and normal. I'm tired of being nanny and therapist and mom and all of these horrible gendered responsibilities that I never wanted and can't escape and have shaped me and ruined me and idk what I am without them and I can't even feel resentful without guilt because isn't that what I'm FOR. What else am I for than that. That's my purpose and my Duty and Obligation and I'm weak and selfish for chafing against it. I'm not allowed to love parts of my family and culture and then hate and resent all the ones that have hurt and trapped me and will continue to do so until either I, or all of them, are dead.

All I did was hurt and/or upset both my parents which makes everything worse for everyone in this hell house and maybe that's not my fault or responsibility but it sure feels like it is, and I can't escape it regardless.

I'm so goddam tired

.