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commander-rahrah · 1 day

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I'm excited to read it too! I'm glad you find it interesting! Don't worry about your post because long! Your thoughts are so interesting!

I agree that Astarion would have to come to terms with Reader/Tav's boundaries too since it works both ways! I definitely feel that Astarion would be too lost in drinking from the blood of a sentient creature to notice the signs.

He would feel ashamed when he's aware of their fear yet they still chose to offer despite that might made him feel like he manipulated them like Cazador did to him 😭

What his excuses are if they try to offer in the early days makes sense! He would be too ashamed & terrified to have such a vulnerable conversation with them yet 😞

He would feel safe enough to bring up their fear after he confessed about everything. He would make it clear to them he doesn't want them to suffer by making them do something they don't want to like he did especially after how much they have helped him & how important they are to him 😭

He would respect their decision if they said it's too much for them. He would support everyone's personal choices & autonomies even though the concept is still new to him 😤

He would need an explanation if they insist on feeding him regardless of their fear. They would explain that not only do they trust him, they love him more than they fear it 🥹

He would only accept if they establish some ground rules 👍 like he did when it comes to physical intimacy & sex which is healthy for both of them!

I know it's unrelated but thank you for adding this because you described me pretty well 🤣 I would definitely react to even the smallest of cuts so Astarion quickly but gently sucking it & giving a small kiss on it would be a fantastic distraction 😳

You're welcome! Thank YOU for entertaining me & sharing your thoughts! I'm glad you enjoy putting Astarion and Tav/Reader in all these different scenarios too 🤍

Here's my idea that I would love to hear your opinion! Just to let you know this is quite self-indulgent XD How would Astarion react to GN! Reader/Tav actually had suspicions that he's using them but still chose to believe that he's not. So when he confessed he manipulated them, they're even not angry at him.

They're sad for how much & how long he has suffered to be the way he is now, but they're also genuinely hurt that he did take advantage of their trust in him. They don't blame him but they admit it still hurts and wants some time alone to process it.

After leaving them be, they would go to him when they're ready to talk to him. They would tell him how grateful they are that he chose to come clean with them despite knowing how it would be easier for him to keep quiet for it, and thanked him for trusting them enough to be honest with them.

What do you think of it? I'm curious :3

Hi Anon! Sorry for the super late response, I let this one stew for a little while in my brain and the other night I had this dialogue idea and couldn’t resist writing a little scene about it tonight! I hope you enjoy ❤️

I envisioned this scene happens half way through his confession, and then imagined the rest of the conversation about intimacy and boundaries would happen afterwards! It’s about 1100 words, and canonical Astarion backstory warnings apply — trauma, dark thoughts, etc.

.·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨

“I just — I feel awful." Astarion’s throat worked silently, his eyes glancing down to his boots. "Look, I had a plan. A nice, simple plan — seduce you, sleep with you, manipulate your feelings so you’d never turn on me. It was easy — instinctive. Habits from two hundred years of charming people kicked in." He finally looked up at your face, studying intensely for your reaction.

“I—oh,” You pulled your hand away from him as uncertainty flooded your features. He saw your eyes dart back and forth, but they weren’t studying him. No, you were lost in thought. “Oh.”

Astarion licked his lips, his hands ringing together in front of him nervously. “You have every right to be angry.”

“I’m not angry. I thought we… I don’t know what I thought.”

The rest of what he had planned to say vanished out of his mind. Instead it started to betray him, a cruel voice whispering about how he knew you would react like this. Did he really think it would go well?

His pink mouth hung open as he scrambled for what to say, trying to think of how to make this better. But he’d done enough already, hadn’t he?

You crossed your arms over your body, your cheeks flushing deeply. “I feel a bit like a fool. None of it was real, the whole time?”

“Not the whole time,” He confessed as soft, vulnerable moments with you flashed in his mind. The very moments that made him start to drop the act. “It hasn’t been as of late, but before… in the beginning, up until recently, yes.”

His red eyes followed your throat as it bobbed up and down before flicking back up to your face. Your eyebrows were furrowed, your mouth a sad pout.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.” Astarion whispered, not daring to move forward.

“I’m thinking… I need a moment.” You admitted, already looking behind you and away from him.

His heart sank, but he nodded. “I— okay. Of course.”

And then you were off, your head down as you stalked away from the edge of the beach and back to the warm glow of camp.

He stood there stunned for a moment, before turning around to stare at the dark, choppy waters in front of him. Hundreds of scenarios began to dance in his mind — what if you went back to the camp to tell the others? Would he be met by pointed blades and blazing spells? He imagined being kicked out, staked, cursed, roasted alive with fireballs. Hand delivered to Cazador as extra punishment for his sins. Anything his twisted broken mind could come up with played like a messed up vision.

Astarion didn’t even try to stop the repetitive dark thoughts. It was what he deserved.

Eventually, the vampire slinked back into the camp some time later — once the sky was inky black and the moon was the only light to illuminate the way back to his tent.

“Hi.”

The sound caused his ears and shoulders to perk up instantly. You were sat in the grass and dirt outside of his tent, your arms wrapped around your knees and pulled to your chest.

“Hi.” Gods, he sounded breathless. But he couldn’t see any weapons or angry barbarians or wizards nearby. That was a good sign, right?

“I wasn’t sure when you’d come back.”

He cocked a brow, “I figured you wouldn’t want to see me again.”

A sigh escaped your lips, “Astarion, don’t be dramatic. I asked for time to think — not for you to leave.”

He blinked at your sharp tone, but nodded his head in slight defeat. “You’re right. And you waited for me because—?”

You brushed off your clothes as you stood up to his height, “I would like to finish that conversation, if you’re ready.”

Well, there was no denying the inevitable.

He nodded his head solemnly, stepping forward to open the flap of his tent and inviting you in with a wave of his hand.

The privacy his tent offered was slight, but this late in the night he knew most of his companions would be fast asleep. Quickly lighting a lantern, he joined you on the fabric floor.

His half-dead heart was thundering, the thrumming sound echoing in his pointed ears that he almost missed your quiet voice.

“I understand.”

“What?” His brows furrowed, looking at you with confusion.

“The stories you’ve told me… your scars… I understand why you did it, why you felt the need to do it.” You explained, your voice and eyes tender as you looked at him in the low light. “But you manipulated me, Astarion. You took advantage of me, toyed with me and my emotions to get what you needed. That hurts.”

Astarion’s stomach twisted into a hard knot, “I know.”

“But you also didn’t need to tell me any of this. You could have kept pretending, kept up the charade until we faced Cazador… But you didn’t. Why?”

Now it felt like his stomach was crawling up his torso and into his throat. Gods, what was this feeling? Why did you do this to him. “That’s what I was trying to tell you before. I failed with my plan. It felt apart the moment I realized… that I had fallen for you.” He admitted, but his fluttering heart made more words stumble out of his mouth. “And I know you probably don’t believe me, why would you after everything I just told you. Trust me, nobody feels more stupid about it than I do.”

You cut off his rambling, “I don’t think it’s stupid. I think that’s probably the most honest you’ve been with me since I’ve met you,” You said earnestly. “It would have been a lot easier for you to keep on pretending, wouldn’t it? Pretend I’m just another mark, another means to an end to get through the day.”

“I don’t want easy… I don’t want to just get through the day. Not anymore.” Astarion whispered across the small tent, staring intently at you.

You cocked your head slightly in question, “And what do you want?”

“I want this, I want us — to be real. You deserve something real.”

“So do you, Astarion. You deserve something real.”

Your name escaped his lips as a choked sob as overwhelming wave of emotion settled over him. “I don’t even know what real looks like. How do I give that to you if I—?”

“Do you trust me?”

The vampire nodded through his tears, “Yes.”

“I trust you,” You said softly.

“After everything I’ve done?” He croaked, waving his hands dramatically, “You’d trust a monster—“

You grabbed onto his extended fingers gently, squeezing them. “Yes, even then.”

He looked down at your hands touching, before intertwining his pale fingers with yours carefully. “Maybe you are a fool.”

You let out a breathless laugh, the sound waking up something in him he’d long thought dead. “Maybe, I am. But you fell for me, so what does that make you?”

Astarion’s mouth twitched up until it match your smile, “The luckiest vampire alive.”

#commander-rahrah answers #bg3 astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion fanfic #bg3 fanfic #Astarion X reader #astarion x gn reader #astarion x tav #astarion x gn!tav

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thereigning-lorelai · 2 years

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tv appreciation week 2022 | day one: tv show you wish everyone would watch (+ day seven: tv show with the best ending)

↬ DARK (2017-2020)

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fangirlfrom-hell · 6 months

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"My daddy has to fight some bad guys". || Jay Halstead x reader and daughter

*re-posting this because I'm stupid and accidentaly delated my blog 🫠

You woke up earlier than everybody in your house to get everything ready for everyone. Jay would usually follow you a few minutes later and you two would make breakfast and get your daughter ready for school together, along with other morning stuff. This wasn't the day, your husband had fallen asleep and you were doing everything by yourself, trying not to make a lot of noise. You knew he was working a tough case and had come back quite late from work the night before, so you didn't want to wake him up. Even when he didn't want to admit it, he was tired as hell and needed to rest.

You were in the kitchen starting to cook breakfast when you felt his arms hugging you from the back.

-"Did I wake you up?" You asked. -"I was trying not to".

-"I didn't feel you by my side and I couldn't fall asleep again". He answered into your ear and then kissed your neck as he continued talking. -"I'm sorry I haven't been around. We closed this case last night, what's left is a bunch of paperwork. My hope is to be back home early tonight and...". You turned around to hug him back and interrupted him with a short kiss. He rushed to finish his sentence with a heavy breathing : "...I can make it up for you", then proceeded to tenderly kiss your lips as he held you as tight as he could with one of his arms, while fervently holding your head with his other hand, finger all tangled in your hair, pulling it a bit.

Due to the case Jay was working on, you two had barely seen each other during the last week and a half, so things were heating up fast. Suddenly, for both of your displeasure, an alarm interrupted the moment.

-"Time to wake her up". You said having trouble separating from him.

-"I'll go". Jay took your phone to turn off the alarm. -"I'm driving her to school too".

-"Hey, Jay!" You took his hand before letting him leave the room. -"You do remember her Father's Day Festival, right?".

-"Next friday, 10:30, sure".

-"I was thinking...maybe you should talk to her and explain that...of course you will be there, but if you are not able to make it is due to your work".

-"But I will be there".

-"I know, I know, it's just...we never know when a case might pop up. Remember the Spring Festival?".

-"Oh. The bank robbery right before it...".

-"Yes, that's what I mean. That time was easy because I was there, but this time I won't...".

-"I will talk to her". He said after a few seconds of silence. -"But I'll be there, no matter what".

That day, Tessa and her class made a craft for their fathers. All the little kids were drawing in a small paper square that would become a keychain for Father's Day. Some of them were drawing hearts, others were doing stick figures. Tessa drew her dad carrying her over his shoulders and a bunch of hearts around. Her artwork was a little abstract, but understandable for a 5 year old.

-"All right". Ms. Luna said in a sweet voice. Tessa really loved her teacher. -"I am going to take your drawings and we will give them back to our dads as a key chain during the festival!".

-"My daddy said he will come, but he's working and if he doesn't show up it is because he has to fight some bad guys. Bad guys don't respect days or time". Tessa rushed to repeat what Jay tried to explain to her earlier in the morning when he was taking her to school.

-"It's ok". Her teacher laughed a bit. -"Sometimes parents can't make it and it's ok. That doesn't mean they don't want to or that they don't love us".

The class rehearsed the song they would sing at intervals throughout the rest of the day. Tessa never missed the opportunity to repeat the information going around her head: "My dad said he's coming, but if he's not here it means he's working" or "My daddy is fighting the bad guys and bad guys they don't respect days or time" or "He will be here, but if he's not here, that means he's on the streets. He makes Chicago safe". Her friends were amazed whenever she repeated those statements. She did understand what her father told her, but she didn't really comprehend.

The day was here. You dropped Tessa at school, she was all excited. Before she entered the building you reminded her: "If it happens that daddy is not here or he's late, remember he's fighting the bad guys".

Jay was already in the bullpen, everything was strangely calmed. He had talked with Voight about going out to Tessa's school and he gladly agreed.

-"Today is the day isn't it?" Hailey asked Jay as she entered the coffee room.

-"Yeah". He smirked. -"If nothing else intervenes".

-"Let's stay positive". She said remembering what had happened last Spring Festival.

It was 8:30, the day had just started when Trudy came upstairs with an urgent case.

-"That's just my luck". Jay said, rushing downstairs with his partner.

-"Let's try to make it quick". Hailey answered by putting on her coat.

At school, the kids were getting ready to go outside to start the festival. Parents were gathering outside of the building, waiting to get inside.

Students from all schools were lining up around the court. Their parents were supposed to meet them and be in front of their kid's group to hear them sing.

-"Is your dad here?" One of Tessa's friends asked.

-"I can't see him". She answered standing on tiptoe. -"But it's ok, it's because he had to fight the bad guys".

All the kids waved their fathers with excitement, some of them ran to hug them before starting the show. Jay didn't make it, but Tessa wasn't feeling bad about it...yet.

When the song finished, all the kids jumped into their fathers arms and gave them the craft they made in class as a gift for them. Tessa stood in her place, not being able to hold her tears. She was crying in silence, so between the noise and excitement around the little girl, nobody noticed her until a few minutes later. As soon as her teacher saw her, she ran towards her and hugged her tight.

-"It's ok, honey. It's ok. Your dad wanted to be here with you". She said in a very sweet and calmed voice. -"Remember he is fighting the bad guys, you said that before ''.

Some parents were moved watching the scene, but there was nothing they could do. Ms. Johnson, the school's principal, noticed the situation from afar and she joined as soon as she could. By only moving her lips, trying not to be heard, she asked Tessa's teacher if the little girl's father wasn't there. She shaked her head in disapproval when the teacher answered with a sorry face.

-"We can call your dad, Tess. That way you can hear his voice".

-"But, Ms. Johnson, he's fighting the bad guys". Ms. Luna intervened.

-"Oh!" She understood. -"Ok, but we can call him later, we'll tell him to come so you can give him your present. Would you like that?".

The little girl was an emotional mess, but agreed with her head, even though she wasn't really listening to what the adults were saying.

The emergency call for the intelligence team ended up in a shooting and that delayed detective Halstead. As soon as he finished with interviews and all the bureaucracy after this kind of situation, he ran off.

-"Go, go, go". Hailey rushed. -"I cover you".

Jay drove his truck as fast as he could, siren on. It wasn't a police emergency, but it was an emergency after all, he could deal with the consequences later. He parked in the first spot he found, even if it wasn't merely in front of the school and ran as fast as he could in a police mode to get to his baby girl. It was until he entered the building that he noticed he was still wearing the vest, gun and badge on his hip, but didn't care.

-"There he is!" Ms. Johnson pointed to Tessa's father.

-"Come on! Come on!" Ms. Luna took the little girl's hand and started running towards her dad.

-"I'm so sorry". Jay took Tessa in his arms and carried her holding her as tight as he could. She was too emotionally drained to react.

Kids around were already saying goodbye to their parents, going back to their classrooms.

-"We'll give you some time alone". Ms. Johnson informed Jay and he muttered a "thank you".

-"You can go back to the classroom when you feel ready". Ms. Luna told her student.

-"I hate the bad guys". Tessa managed to say when they were finally alone.

-"Me too". Her father said. -"I'm really, really sorry I didn't hear you sing, but I'm here right now". He wiped the tears from her cheeks.

-"I did it real good, you missed it". She said playing with the key chain in her hands.

-"I bet you did". Jay chuckled. -"What do you have there?".

-"It's a present for you. I made it for you". She extended her short arm to give it to her dad.

-"For me? Is it for my keys? I love it!"

-"It's you and me and lots of hearts. I drew it myself".

-"I can see that. It's beautiful. Thank you, sweetie". Jay's phone started ringing and he sighed when he read the text messages.

-"I have to go back to work".

-"But I don't want you to go". She started crying again.

Ms. Johnson came into the scene to help Tessa go back to her class" -"Daddy has to go back to work, sweetie. Ms. Luna and your friends are waiting for you, let's go". And she took her tenderly in her arms as her crying grew louder.

-"It's all right". Jay reassured her with a kiss. -"I love you. I'll see you at home, ok?". And she disappeared through the door.

He peeked through the classroom window to check on her before departing. He witnessed how Ms. Luna was successfully calming her down and felt a little bit more relaxed to go.

-"Thank you for coming". Ms. Johnson told him with a smile. -"For real".

With a heavy heart, he got into his truck and before turning it on, he hung the keychain in his keys. He inspected the tiny drawing and smiled before going back to the bullpen.

Thanks for reading. If you liked it, it would help my soul if you give it a ♡, comment or share. 😌♡

#chicago pd #chicago pd imagine #Jay Halstead #Jay Halstead x reader #Jay halstead x Y/N #Jay Halstead imagine #Jay Halstead one shot #Jay Halstead x you #kevin atwater #One chicago #One chicago one shot #Jay Halstead x daughter

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sweetkpopmusings · 5 months

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bang chan coworker headcanons <3

a/n: i'm once again sorry it has been so long !! life is chaotic, so my writing time had been reduced dramatically :-( regardless i hope this (and the other posts i'm forcing myself to finish soon) will bring you joy ! i really really wish chan was my coworker :,-) pics not mine <3

content: fluff, nonidol!au | wc: 0.9k | warnings: none! | pairing: coworker!name x gn!reader | requests: open

you met chan while staying late to finish up a huge report before the quarter was over

you stayed so late that the lights in the office automatically turned off, so, phone in hand as a flashlight, you walked through the dark office and hoped you could get this sorted before you completely lost all will to finish your work

unfortunately, your phone flashlight did not have a wide enough range to capture everything around you, which meant you were completely unaware of chan walking toward the same spot

you were made aware of his presence when you two bumped into each other and screamed

while you caught your breath, chan asked if you were okay

you replied, still unable to see much in the dark office, “who are you?” which made him laugh

“i’m chan, usually the only one who has to bump into things in order to find the override switch”

you laughed, and, once the lights came on, you realized you recognized chan from his frequent trips to the coffee machine

he recognized you by the fact you usually had headphones on at work, visibly enjoying whatever you were listening to that day

as you walked back to your respective desks, you made introductory small talk, feeling much calmer now that there was a very small chance of another jump scare

by the time you wrapped up, it was far too close to being the next day for your liking

chan, being as caring and responsible as he is, didn’t leave until he knew you were safely headed your way home

as a thank you, you decide to bring him a coffee the next morning

he was so focused on his work that you gave him a good jump scare when you said “hi,” which immediately sent both of you into a giggling fit

that solidified the chemistry between you two, and the rest was history

chan’s coffee habit benefited you, as he would buy a coffee for you on the mornings he stopped by a cafe

you always told him he didn’t need to, and he always said it would hurt his feelings if you didn’t have as much of a morning boost as he did every morning he saw you

his cheesiness aside, you were moved by the sweetness of the gesture

he’s also very much the "iced coffee is a meal" and "this is a latte so it counts as breakfast" kind of coworker i may or may not be that coworker so you bring put fruit or granola bars on his desk in the mornings

chan beams with joy every time he sees it, but he never lets go of believing coffee counts as breakfast

chan also makes several playlists for different moods at work

he sends them to you whenever he has finished a new one, buzzing with excitement while he waits for your review

he'll send you an old one too if he knows you need to be uplifted, get in the zone, etc.

when you make him a playlist, he practically melts into a puddle on the floor

all of his friends have that playlist memorized because he plays it all. the. time.

and yes, all of his friends know just about everything about you because you are chan’s favorite part of the workday

chan invites you to little dinners or hangouts with his friends pretty regularly since they’re all dying to meet you

you are surprised by how much chan has told them, and fairly flustered by how much chan remembers about you from quick conversations

he teases you for blushing, but his ears are bright red which seungmin points out immediately

one of his other favorite things is when you can hang out after work just the two of you

sometimes, if you can get off early, he’ll insist on “going on an adventure” because you’ve been gifted with rare free time

the adventure often ends up being a trip to target or something casual, but you both have the time of your lives

your coworkers always know when you two are hanging out by the sound of laughter echoing through the office

chan’s dad jokes have gotten so much stronger since he met you because he finally has someone he can pester with them all day long

if you two can’t chat during the day because you’re swamped, or because your supervisors told you you needed to stop messing around so much, chan will message you a dad joke every hour and peek over his desk to watch you open the message

you two have to hold your hands over your mouths to keep from bursting into laughter

at this point, it’s so normal that your coworkers don’t get concerned when they see tears in your eyes

your coworkers also know when one of you is out sick or on vacation because you two are so different without the other in the office

lowkey they miss you two being together like you’re entertainment for the whole office

sometimes you end up staying late at the office together, but, instead of scaring each other while looking for the light switch, you listen to music while you work in peace

or you have deep conversations because you can’t handle looking at a document for another second

you’re both enchanted by each other’s minds, and it’s so easy to have life-changing revelations whenever you open up to each other

so, while working overtime isn’t ideal, you can’t complain because you get to do it together

chan would never tell you, but on the night you met, he had finished his work before you and decided to stay so you didn’t have to be alone <33

what he will tell you, over and over again, is that night was the best overtime he had ever worked because it brought you into his life <33333

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morallyinept · 6 months

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Summary: Joel Miller comes back into your life unexpectedly after a gap of thirty years, and stirs up all kinds of memories and longing. Now, as you're stationed on an outpost for five days alone with the man you stupidly let go of all those years ago, you have a chance to confront him about your past life together and all the things you wished you’d said and done.

But Joel’s different now, and you know you need to tread carefully. Joel Miller is not the same man you once knew in another life.

A slow burn romance set in the post apocalyptic world, approx. twenty or so years after the initial Cordyceps outbreak.

Pairing: Post-Outbreak Joel Miller x MatureF!Reader (No name or physical description of reader. However reader is of a similar age range as Joel; in her late forties/early fifties. Joel is slightly older at 56.)

Chapter Word Count: 5.8k

Series Masterlist

☝🏻See Series Masterlist for full smut warnings & triggers in this story. Chapters that contain smut or triggers will be highlighted in the chapter notes below. 👇🏻

Chapter notes: Slightly longer chapter as we start to get into the meat of this story as you and Joel are finally on your own together. Nothing too heavy to note. Teeniest, tiniest mention of self-harm.

Enjoy! 🖤

Previous Chapter

Sleep evaded you cruelly for most of the night. Lucid dreams that were unbidden, clawed at your subconscious mind and were unrelenting in their droves, and attempt to crush, what is left of your fragile mind.

Joel’s youthful face and his hands, ageing right before you until he was a pile of dust at your bloodied boots, blowing away through your fingers in the wind, haunted the delicate membranes of your sleep void inertia.

The sounds of his shaken voice echoed in your ears as he called your name to come back as you slammed hundreds of different coloured doors behind you. Feeling your heart, as it was pulverised into mush in your chest by a sledgehammer that he wielded, with sharp diamonds pouring out of his eyes.

You’re already irritable when you wake fully; your eyes feeling raw like sandpaper has been rubbed over them all night each time you blink. But you suck it up bravely despite the tension making your stomach ache and churn - you have to.

Endure and survive...

Once suitably awake and clean, outside in the commune the masses are gathering in a buoyant hubbub about the mission. Horses are stacked with supplies, groups are running over their parts to play in meticulous fashion.

You pass Tommy speaking with a bunch of guys and he nods, tipping his stark, yet grubby, Stetson as he regards you with a tight look. You’re still rocked by his rupturing revelations about Joel.

They still bite ceaselessly at your ankles.

You catch up with Kelper and the others, sharing a gentle but lingering hug with Guthrie, who's remaining behind with Maria and her fort going on lockdown, due to his injuries.

Taking your hand, he prays silently for you all to return unscathed and you indulge him in his plea to God out of respect; it carries a bleak, yet somewhat reassuring nihilism to some degree. If there is a God up there - although you're sceptical after the stunts He's pulled over the last twenty odd years - but if there is one, you hope he's really listening to Guthrie right now.

This is your family, and losing them is not an option anymore.

You squeeze Kelper’s hands in your own, then pull him into a binding embrace, choking back faceted tears that threaten to fall and rip down your face with their own jagged edges. But you’re steely in your grit not to let them.

Endure and survive.

He places a lingering kiss on your forehead and then another on your cheek.

"For God's sake, be careful." You plead, your hands refusing to uncoil from his; twisty, bony knots that crush.

"I'm coming back. I promise. So are you." Kelper assures you, and you know that stubborn bastard means it.

"I love you." You breathe.

"I know you do. I'm awesome." He replies, and you smile the way you always do when he comes back at you with that overused quip.

You glance back at Max and Sal - at the remains of your small, tattered clan, before you all separate into your assigned teams. Maybe Guthrie’s faith is rubbing off, but you silently pray to God yourself that they all return safely.

Even if it means that you don’t. It's a fair trade.

You reluctantly approach Joel, taking a sharp intake of breath that chills your teeth, despite the warmth of the sun this early in the morning. The knot in your gut weighs heavier somehow.

It stalls you for a moment; Tommy’s words rattling around your bruised skull, but you push it all down. If Joel wants you to know, he’ll tell you himself.

He's loading up a couple of horses; his broad back stretching out his green, plaid shirt, boosting up the worn leather knapsacks and belting the buckles tightly to the saddles.

It's abstractly peculiar to just observe him, how his hands work; how they're deft, yet seem so much bigger now than you remember. The horse brays, snuffling as you approach, and Joel pats it gently with those swamping hands.

"Easy, easy."

Joel shifts as he sees you, greeting him with a wary hello that sounds as small as you suddenly feel.

“Mornin’,” he replies dully, carrying on with the task at hand robotically. He doesn't look at you, you notice.

The whiskey he drank in abundance last night was a bad idea; his head feels like crushing lead, and despite fading into oblivion for a few measly hours, he’s still tired and jangled. Yammering thoughts of you kept him awake, staring at the ceiling as he willed them to give him some peace.

It’s like he could make you out, clear as day, floating above him and taunting him even though your apparition never spoke to him. It just stared at him for most of the fucking night; pulling out all of his demons to side with you, and it’s why he can’t look you in the eyes much this morning.

“He seems like a good man, Tommy says so.” He juts his chin over his broad shoulder to Kelper, startling you a little with the gruff tincture of his voice.

“He is." You smile. "Saved my ass countless times. And vice-versa.” You explain watching Kelper fade into the crowd with a heavy gut. “Want me to get that?” You point down at the other knapsack and Joel shakes his head.

“I got it.” He lifts it up, stepping around to the other side of your horse.

You pet and stroke the horse’s mane; a black mare that nudges her large head into your hands affectionately and you click and coo at her in return.

"She got a name?" You ask Joel. He shrugs and continues loading up.

She’s a beauty, and it makes you melt that there are still some things that are left untarnished by the fungal rot in the world.

“How’d ya cross paths?” Joel asks as he attaches the bag onto the saddle. He seems a little disinterested, like conversation with you is hard. But you regale him nonetheless.

“We had a group. Or rather, he did. And soon it became our group. He trusted me enough to let me make decisions, and mistakes, but it grew. We became a family. There were about sixty of us at one point. And now there’s five.” You remark bitterly.

You swallow thickly as you hear the screaming again inside your ears. The mare butts her head against yours as if she can hear it too.

Joel doesn’t say anymore, pausing to listen to you before he carries on loading up the tan stallion that’s his to ride.

But the tidal wave of the screaming, the panic, drowns you. The teeth coming at you as you shoot your way through the hysteria. But there are too many to boldly take on and your gun jams.

Run! RUN!

You remember Kelper's hand on yours, dragging you away. You grab a hold of Guthrie, exchanging the gun for his hand as you let it clatter to the ground that's filling with blood.

You're scrambling through the mottled tree bark. You spy Max and Sal bringing up the rear; white eyes and red faces, as Kelper takes you all deeper into the woods. Infected follow you, hot on your heels as you run; the oxygen waning and setting light to your papery lungs.

Your legs are giving out. Your ankles on fire…

“That can’t happen here.” You shake your head defiantly as you look around the commune coming back to a bleak reality. “What you guys have built and achieved here? Kelper, he won’t let you lose what we did. That's why he’s a good man.” You conclude, speaking as if in a trance.

“S’not enough of them around anymore.” Joel replies stoically.

“No. There is.” You say, looking at him and he turns away after he catches your intense gaze like it scalds him.

“Wouldn’t be so sure ‘bout that.” He mutters, leaving you to pull apart his toneless words.

After a time of readying the horses, time spent in awkward silence for the remainder between the both of you, Tommy announces for everyone to move out.

You shoot Kelper a small, reluctant wave and he returns it.

Five days. You can get through five days without him. Endure and survive.

You realise in all the time you’ve known Kelper, you’ve not once been separated from him, and those thoughts grow teeth and start to chomp with all the other gnarly, unsettling thoughts.

“Y’need a boost?” Joel offers as you attempt to get up on the mare.

“No, I got it.” You hook your foot in the stirrup and swing your other leg up and over, mounting the mare confidently. “This ain’t my first rodeo, cowboy.”

You smirk down at Joel who doesn’t smile back. Just shakes his head full of greying tufts, and mounts his stud with a little bit more of an aggrieved effort to get on the damned thing.

"Do you need a boost?" You smirk as you untangle the reins.

"Don't be a smartass." He grumbles with a deep frown.

You used to love it.

You wait, with pursed lips, steadying your horse as Joel hacks up beside you.

“Ya ready?” He asks you and you know inside that you’re anything but.

“Let's do this.” The weight in your gut still weighs you down in there. You're drowning right before him and he's completely oblivious.

You both watch as the other riders head out the gates first.

“Listen, I don’t suffer fools easily.” He says it coldly, as though you don’t know him, never knew him; as though you’re a stranger to him and you realise that's exactly what you are now.

It’s how he sees you. And the line couldn't be anymore clear as it is thick.

It’s a frank warning that rolls out of his dull, chapped lips and in a baritone that you don’t think you’ve ever heard in his voice before.

This Joel Miller is a complete stranger to you. He's wary of you, suspicious as he eyes you now, finally. That prominent frown creased in at the centre of his brow with brown eyes, that were once warm and inviting, that now coat a layer of ice over your skin.

You shudder as the prickles tear down your spine.

“We gotta communicate, work together. Don’t be foolish n’ take any risks, y'hear me? Ya do what I say when I say it.”

“I hear you, Joel.” You reply, staring straight ahead, teeth grinding. Your grip tightens on the reins.

“Just lay it on the line. That’s all I ask.” Joel says.

You wonder if he notices his double entendre. “Unscrupulous honesty it is then.” You smile.

You gulp. You think that he might regret telling you that.

“We gotta trust each other out there. I know it's been…" he sighs, or runs out of breath; you're not sure which as he trails off.

Then he looks back at you and it pierces you right down to the very core.

"Y’think you can do that?” He asks, with blown out curls billowing in the summer breeze, and you look back at him; at those deep chocolate eyes that are so familiar, yet so alien.

“I can.” You always trusted him back in the day when trust seemed so frivolous a thing. “I got your back, Joel. You got mine?”

Joel nods once, a small clip of his chin and starts on forward.

Taking a deep breath, you tap the sides of the mare gently with your heels as she trots forward, following after his tan stallion and out of the gates.

Riding on horseback it would take half a day to reach outpost three at a steady pace.

Joel rides slightly ahead; a rifle slung over his shoulder and a pistol in his belt holster. You've been afforded a gun of your own, a Glock, which is tucked in a similar holster on your own belt that Joel had handed to you once out of the gates of the commune.

You remembered turning back, one last look at Guthrie as those wooden gates locked and wouldn't open again until the threat was taken care of. Maria was battening down the hatches. If the infected got past you, if something went wrong, those gates were all that were left stopping them.

The knapsacks are loaded with supplies; food, water, ammunition, and yours bumps continually against the side of your thigh as the mare trots along.

The summer heat of a late June beams down on you, warming your scalp and you squint upward, closing your eyes and enjoying the warmth.

Stolen moments like this, a few seconds amongst the bloodied chaos, where you could remember to stop and appreciate the small things, is what kept you going throughout all of the carnage, the constant fighting for survival.

So you breathe in the morning air, feel the sun bake your face and appreciate that you're alive for a few seconds, even though some days you wish you weren’t.

When you open your eyes, Joel is glancing over his shoulder at you, scrutinising carefully; eyebrows pulled together. He turns away when you catch him.

You bristle, feeling the prickles on the back of your neck rise again and you rub them away.

“So, this is weird, huh?” You challenge with a coy smile.

“Ride on my left, will ya? I can’t hear what you’re sayin’ to me when ya mumble under ya breath.” Joel replies and you take up position on his left side.

“Jesus, you’re getting old.” You smirk again.

“Crept up on me too fast.” Joel agrees with a sharper frown. His hips jut forward and backwards, balancing his weight on the stallion as you both ride on.

“I was joking.” You snicker.

“I wasn’t.” He states rather po-faced. “Besides, gun shots. Not age,” he explains pointing to his right ear.

“And the scar?” You query gently. You’d noticed it on his temple; a faded, spiky flower in stark contrast compared to the caramel tan of his face.

“S’a story for another day,” he announces, flatly. His voice is as rigid as his posture now becomes.

But he didn’t need to tell you, not really. You already know what it is.

You recognised it because there had been a moment when you’d wanted to make it all stop too. You have your own scar hidden away under your sleeve which you now tug around your wrist discreetly.

You hadn’t met anyone yet without a story like that, not really. You swallow thickly, pushing down your own painful memories and carrying on.

Endure and survive.

"I'd ask ya how you've been, but y'know…" Joel mumbles a little while later.

"You can ask me," you smile.

Joel sighs, his face remaining a harsh angle of lines. "How've you been?"

"Joel, what a stupid question." You smirk and he sighs, shaking his head. Like he knew you would say that.

Like he knew you once well enough to know you'd say something like that.

"Still a smartass." You think you hear him mutter.

You shrug. "I've been… better. I think we all have, right?"

He nods slowly as the horses clip-clop along languidly, side by side. You don't say anything else. Everything seems futile and pointless.

A little while up the way, Joel's horse starts to bray and resist.

"Easy," he ushers to it, but glances up ahead as yours does the same, to see a shadow on the abandoned route.

"Infected." You confirm. You skin stands on edge.

"I got it," Joel's already dismounting and drawing his rifle around his front as you reach for his horse's reins and shush it gently.

"You need a hand?" You call.

"I said, I got it." He growls back as he walks forward taking aim.

The infected spots him and starts to run. Joel fires, but misses.

"Shit," he grunts as he takes aim again.

He misses once more, fingers shaky on the trigger as he glances down the length of the barrel to the rabid screeching coming closer.

"Are you sure you don't want help?" You tease. "Quit dancing and shoot it already."

"M'fine! Stop talkin'!" He calls back as his lips curl over his teeth. He shakes the irritation off, closes his eyes and then takes aim once more.

The infected falls to the ground before he can press on the trigger; the loud pop from behind startles him.

He turns to see you now stood a few steps back with the smoking barrel of your Glock at arm's length, and a wily smirk cocked at him.

"Best shooter in Jackson, huh?" You tease him.

"I said, I got it!" He bites at you, storming back to his horse.

"Mmhm," you simply reply, trying not to laugh, but the murderous look clouding his features warns you off. "Just took the shot," you shrug.

But his glare burns you out from the inside.

"Didn't need ya interferin'. Been doin' just fine all this time without ya!" Joel bites.

He mounts and rides away furiously, leaving you to dissolve completely away under the acid of his snarls.

Fuck.

Time rides with you both and you don’t talk.

Just an uncomfortable, suffocating silence that grows bigger, expands wider like a chasm. It hovers around you pushing against your skull.

You want to fill it with something, anything. But words don’t come.

Everything you want to say sounds stupid, futile even. You wish you knew a good joke to break the ice, but don’t. He probably wouldn't laugh anyway.

Lips pursed, teeth gnashing, Joel stares icily ahead. A unbroken and insurmountable presence beside you that seems unconquerable.

But then after a while, when it’s been almost an hour since he last spoke to you, or acknowledged your existence, still clearly sulking, you decide to be brave.

Or stupid.

“Do you… remember?" You begin keeping your eyes on the route ahead.

"'Member what?" He mutters.

"Us. What we were like back then?” You ask tentatively.

Stirring up the ghosts of your past probably isn’t a wise idea, but faced with the prospect of being cooped up with Joel for the next five days, as daunting as it is, is a chance to say some things that are so unspoken.

Even if they would re-open wounds long sealed shut.

Joel sighs and it's a long one. It feels heavy, even to listen to it. It pulls you under, face first and holds you down, ensuring that you won't ever resurface as your lungs fill with swamp water.

"Let's not talk 'bout that. Just get to the outpost."

"Fine." You say despondently.

Evidently, he's still mad at you for taking the shot. Some primal pride of his was wounded no doubt, but equally you're hurt that he probably thinks you're too gung ho.

And you probably are; gotta get them first before they get you, right? It's the embedded mantra on how you've survived for so long, and what makes you a good shot - you've had plenty of practice.

But then, you always were impulsive to some degree. Slapdash. Making decisions before you'd really thought through any consequence. Even the ones that still haunt your blood now.

You run your tongue around your teeth and reach for the water bottle tucked in the knapsack.

"You thirsty?" You ask him as you offer it out to him and he shakes his head vehemently. Again you sigh.

"I'm sorry, okay? I saw a chance and I took it."

"Stop talkin'." Joel grunts.

You shrink back, falling a few paces behind as he rides on forward, determined and with a tension that winds his broad shoulders tight, hunched.

You stare at his back, zoning out for a few minutes, your mind wandering in territories that it's not welcome in. Remembering, unwillingly, as you'd nuzzle into his back after he'd had a hard day at work; his hands blistered and sore.

How you'd wrangle the tension and knots out of those shoulders, and he'd throw his head back so you could get to his scalp. Weaving and raking your fingers across his head and listening to all the sounds he'd emit, the low groans and the throaty gasps as he melted under you.

Mmm, just like that, darlin'. Yeah...

Joel would melt like hot butter poured in your lap.

"Wait here," he says, snapping you out of your recall. He dismounts and you see him wander off the path.

You take the reins of his horse, trekking up beside it. "Where are you going?"

He doesn't answer. You watch him disappear off the road, bleeding into a small copse of trees until his shadow disappears fully out of sight.

Sighing, you look up to the sky, thinking that being paired up with Joel was probably the worst idea.

These five days are going to be absolute Hell.

He returns a few minutes later, wiping his hands at the back of his jeans and stepping through the underbrush with eyes focused like a laser beam on the ground.

You both carry on, with your mouth zipped firmly shut.

But Joel can hear your forced silence like it's deafening his one good ear. Feel you, like you're jabbing him constantly in the gut.

And he can't turn it off.

The same as he can't turn off those hazy, sepia memories rearing their ugly heads as they flood through his aching muscles, feeding them with pink fleshy life.

You've polluted him again, ripped a hole in his head, and he's forced to confront it, even if every compulsion in his body wills him to just ride away from you.

Because it's better than the alternative that pulls at his longing curiosity. Better than letting you seep in through the tiny, hairline cracks.

“Y'were fast." He says suddenly and you glance at him. He keeps his eyes on the road ahead as you continue to trot along together.

"Everythin’ was so fuckin’ fast with ya. I couldn’t keep up."

You smile; a supernova bursting inside your chest and rendering your vital organs to dust.

"Y'were right to leave me behind.” He concludes bitterly.

You feel relieved that he does remember you. It makes that weight in your stomach feel lighter somehow. But the end of his sentence adds salt into the weeping wounds.

“I wanted the world.” You muse. At one point, you believed you would conquer it. You failed.

“How’s that workin’ out for ya?” He side-eyes you with warm mocha browns that you want to dive head first into.

“I mean, the world is still here. Just looks different now.” You say, glancing down at dandelions and overgrown shrubs that are slowly taking back the path.

“You’ve not slowed down.” He observes. "Still fuckin' impatient." He rolls his eyes and shakes his head again.

“Old habits die hard, I guess.” You reply.

"You’re different.”

You look at him as he looks back at you, studying you carefully.

"I've gotten old too." You smile.

“No. Not that." Joel says, looking away. "You’re exactly the same as I ‘member, but just...”

“You remember me, huh?” Your breath catches in the back of your throat.

“Ya kinda made it impossible to forget ya, darlin’."

The warmth engulfs you and you smile wider at this, cheeks on fire, remembering the whimsy in the pet name that he always used for you. Remembering how it made you feel all that time ago, and how it still makes your chest flutter even now as it rolls off his lips like the decades haven't existed between you.

How he can carelessly toss affection at you, despite everything.

“You were never mine, back then. Not really." You say flippantly.

"No, I was." Joel corrects as he clears his throat and frowns again. "But we were young n’ stupid.” He surmises with a shrug of his own. He keeps his eyes in front still.

You nod in agreement. “We thought we knew a thing or two about love, didn’t we? We were arrogant. But it still broke my heart to lose you back then, Joel.” You admit, your voice is a strangled whisper, barely surviving.

Your fingers relax a little on the reins, realising you’ve been twisting them this whole time tightly and your palms burn. "I'm sorry. That must sound weird after all this time. After everything…"

You trail off when Joel doesn't speak.

The two of you continue along like the last few minutes of conversation hasn't happened. Both mulling it over quietly. Probably regretting it.

Joel knows he has said too much, and he's frantically wishing he could cram the words back into his mouth and swallow them down again. But he can't. And neither can you. The admissions are out there now, battering you both around the skulls.

"What was it like for ya?" He asks tentatively. "When it happened?"

"The outbreak?" You query.

"Yeah."

"Tough." You reply, willing your mind not to relive it, but it does anyway just to spite you. "I was in Waco, visiting mom. Didn't plan on staying too long, but I got a call. She'd passed before I got back though. Dementia."

"M'sorry."

"No it's… it was better that she went that way, considering. Peaceful... I was packing back up to leave a few days later. And then it all went to shit. It happened so damn fast. I barely got out."

Joel's question pulls it all out of you with dripping, red threads.

You swallow hard and you feel it graze. "When I think about it now, it's like… I'm watching someone else. Someone with my face. Someone who did-" You take in a deep breath, catching at the back of your throat before you swallow it down. "-Someone who did some questionable things to get here, to get to today."

Joel nods, but doesn't add his own recall of that day. From the look on his face you decide not to ask him about it either.

"But I remember what it was like before that. Life. What it could be again someday." You shake your head despondently. "I remember you." You say with a thin smile offered in repentance.

“We were together n’ sometimes I forget the rest of it.” Joel mutters.

You feel that heated warmth creep over your cheeks and nose. “Me too.”

A small, tight smile tugs at the corner of his pale pink lips. “Y'could barely stand me in the end.”

“Eh. I can barely stand you now.” You remark with a grin.

He shakes his head, chuckling inward silently. “Don’t matter. You’re here. Y'made it. I always knew ya had some brass cajones.”

Joel glances you from the side, turning his head slightly. Those lips of his stretched a little further, on the verge of a full beam which he keeps restrained from fully breaking free.

“Bigger than yours."

He scoffs.

"You made it, too. But, you’re stuck with me for the next five days, Joel.” You tease.

The smile dips back into his cheeks, a crescent moon dimple forms on the left side. “I think I’ll manage. I've endured far worse.”

You smile and continue to ride beside him. Those hot prickles on your neck are covering your whole body now.

“S’fuckin’ crazy world, right?" He mumbles it, sharpshooting the words into the wind as they circle back and blow in your face.

"Amen to that." You smile and you see the flash of that crooked smirk you remember widening on the side of his mouth as he finally loses all restraint to keep it at bay.

There he is.

“Should be there soon,” Joel announces a few hours later.

The grasses are longer, more unruly and nature has taken back the land fully here it seems.

It's eerily beautiful and your eyes fall onto all the wild flowers swaying in the breeze and getting tangled in the brambles; the scents of them tickling your nose.

You lower your hand through them as the mare crosses through the grasses. Plucking one or two on your way and bringing the petals to your nose to inhale before letting them fall free again. You plant some of them affectionately in the mare's silken mane, enthused in your handiwork.

“Y'always did like flowers,” Joel says, remembering.

He remembers the bunches he would pick for you each week just because they were pretty and reminded him of you; the pink expensive ones he brought on your birthday and you cooed gratefully, planting smackers over his cheeks enthusiastically.

You throw a soft beam back at him, remembering too.

You travel on the back roads, deserted highways where the forests have encroached over the tarmac fully. Places where the past ills of humanity have been eaten up by Mother Nature and regurgitated into something wildly free and lushly green.

Perhaps the way it was always supposed to have been.

Your journey has remained free of anymore roaming infected. But you’re keeping a furtive look out; scanning the tree lines beside you as you both ride along in some more stoic silence.

But it seems less daunting and sharp now.

You stop for a while to eat, to let the horses rest. Joel picks around a couple of burnt out cars on the road as he keeps busy and refuses to be still. A constant hurricane swirling.

But Joel surprises you, a little later, speaking more freely when you probe gently about his life prior to Jackson. Thinking he would shut you down, yet he tells you about Ellie. Mostly about Ellie.

Very briefly and with no detail about someone he knew for a long time called Tess, with a gritted jaw that doesn't unclench, so you ask no further about it. He tells you nothing detailed, and strangely in not so many words.

But you sense she meant more to him that he reveals. The way his eyes mist over, as he dwells alone in the darkness of his thoughts, pulls at your gut.

He never mentions that night; the outbreak. Never mentions Sarah. And you don’t bring her up either, even though you know more than you think he'd want you to.

It feels intrusive somehow, holding this terrible secret over him, even if he's not aware of it's strength that you unwittingly possess. A part of you resents Tommy for filling you in so dutifully.

Ignorance is bliss, after all.

“Where's Ellie now? Sounds like you two have quite the bond.” You ask as you eat with your legs drawn under yourself.

“She has a girlfriend. Can’t keep her in one place for long these days. She visits. S’not far from Jackson, in another place they've set up. Think I was startin’ to cramp her style.” The frown returns. “She should have her independence… A normal life.” Joel explains, although you can see it pains him in some way to be apart from her, as his brow furrows further until it swallows most of his face.

“Nothing is normal anymore, Joel.”

“Y’know what I mean.” He lances a stare at you, like you're immature and don’t know shit about this world, just like Ellie doesn’t. And in some ways he’s probably right about that.

“Young love, huh?” You surmise, wistfully.

“S'kinda beautiful.” He says, recalling a private memory as he stares off into the distance.

You secretly hope that it’s one of you both together, wondering which one he would pick as his favourite. Yours is when he first told you he loved you; his sweaty face above yours after an intense mutual climax, and he just blurted it out into your face, and inside of his deep brown eyes, you knew he meant it.

He told you again in the morning over breakfast. And when he dropped you off home in his beat up car.

And everyday after that, until he stopped.

“What about you, have you met anyone special in Jackson?” You pry on with numbing fingers through the dirt.

Joels snorts rather pugnaciously. “No. S'’better that way.”

He finally approaches and sits on the ground adjacent to you but keeps a subtle distance; you hear his knees creak.

“What ‘bout you? You n’ Kelper… Y’have some history or present?” Joel asks curiously after a while.

He can’t help himself. Not when he remembers catches you glancing forlornly as Kelper walked away with Tommy that morning, and he feels the stagnant whiskey toss around in his squally gut.

“You’re more Kelper’s type than I am.” You remark back with a wry smirk. “He likes 'em rugged.”

"Ah." Joel nods and you think you see him blush for a second.

You shake your head. “There was someone, years ago now, nothing serious, but it’s hard to hold onto something in this world when it’s constantly trying to rip you apart, right?”

Joel picks idly at the grass, wrenching blades from their roots with his gnarled, thick fingers. You watch him do it, remembering what those fingers felt like as they danced upon your skin in an era long since departed.

“D’you believe in fate?” Joel asks later as you’re both saddled back on the horses, and you're taken back by the question that is so out of character for him.

You recall a memory of you trying to convince him to have a tarot reading at a fairground, and him telling you in no uncertain terms that all that chick, crystal shit was bullshit. We make our own damn fate, darlin'.

You smile, as you can hear him now, echoing somewhere in the back of your head.

You ponder for a second and realise that in this world, a world that has taken so much, that fate and destiny still weave their magic realism through the murk and rot.

How else can you explain finding Joel again like this?

“Yeah. I do. Explains why we've found each other again, right?”

Joel nods back. “Would have found ya regardless.”

“What makes you so sure of that?” You scoff.

“‘Cause, you’re not somethin’ that's so easy to lose.” Joel states, carelessly throwing words at you again. “Broke my heart back then too.”

You stop riding as it sucker-punches you.

The mare slows down as you pull on the reins, and it takes him a few trots to realise you’re not following before he stops and turns back to you on his stallion with a blank face.

“I looked you up, you know?” You admit with watery eyes.

“Y'did?” He baulks.

“Yeah. Heard you’d relocated back to Austin. I drove for hours to your house one day. I… I wanted to knock on your door so fucking badly. Beg you to take me back. Tell you that you were right. That I was an idiot. But I couldn’t.”

You recall it in all its vivid, scaly form; gripping the steering wheel so tightly at the time, amping yourself up to knock and tell him you were an idiot, that you didn’t want the world if he wasn’t in it exploring it with you.

It had been a while since you’d walked away from him. Calling him immature, indecisive and holding you back. But seven years later and you were the one crawling back, trying to plug that gaping hole where you’d pushed him out of your life, and for what? Everything you’d left him for hadn’t been worth it.

It was all hollow somehow without him.

Your eyes focused on the muscular body that came out of the house that day. A late-twenties, early thirties-something Joel, with darker facial hair; a more stockier build. He'd filled out in all the right places. You'd reached for your car door latch with your blood thumping in your ears.

And then a small girl, with wild curls, followed out after him. Dancing around his legs with a lilac backpack as he loaded her up in the car after terrorising her with smooches as she squirmed away giggling.

Her laughter still haunts your blood.

Your heart had sank, drowning in your stomach acids and being burned up by them until there was nothing of it left. Joel was a father now and you couldn’t intrude on that.

How could you dare to try to invade his settled life and expect him to put you first? You were so fucking selfish.

You drove away that day, vowing not to look back as hot tears seared your cheeks as they fell in abundance. To let yourself move on. But you never really did. He was the one who got away.

Correction; the one who you stupidly let go of.

Joel’s mouth dips. “Wasn’t the right time.”

“No, it wasn’t. We had our time.” You tap the mare lightly with your heel and she trots forward. You wipe your eyes. discreetly, refusing to let him see. He can't know how it tore you to shreds to see that he’d moved on and was happy without you.

But it was your own doing.

“Maybe I should’ve fought harder to keep ya around. Perhaps if I had, things would've been different…” You hear Joel surmise into the air.

You shake your head. “No, the world was always going to end, Joel.”

“That’s not what I meant,” he gruffs.

“I know.” It’s bittersweet, but you know. Even if it lacerates you and leaves you bleeding, dying.

“But y’were happy, ya had a happy life, before all this?” He queries. Something shines inside his own eyes, something hopeful.

“As happy as it could be.” You confirm. You recall pockets of feeling content for a short time. But it never lasted. No-one could replace him, not really.

“Good. Y'deserved that.” Joel says.

“So did you.”

He was the one that you’d let slip away whilst you chased your own idle, selfish dreams. The one who haunted you throughout life. Where was he? What was he doing? Was he happy wherever he was?

Did he miss you like you missed him?

Joel Miller would have given you the world that you were so desperate for, but you never gave him the chance to. It only pained you now that it was too late. So much time and energy wasted for too long, and for what?

Now Joel was just another rupture in your life, a clot that would be your ultimate undoing.

He carries on trotting as do you, riding beside him as his broad shoulders obscure the sun that’s blinding you and suddenly burning you up, eviscerating your being.

“Fate knew somethin’ we didn't.” Joel mumbles.

You don’t say anything else.

You just ride, feeling more and more empty, as you and Joel both carry on forward in a silent agreement that fate, is indeed, a fucking cruel sadist.

To be continued...

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Thank you for taking the time to read my story; it really means so much to me. I'd love to know your thoughts, and I'd really appreciate a re-blog so others can enjoy this story too. Thank you so much 🖤

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TAGLIST: If you'd like to be added/removed, please let me know.

Tagging everyone who asked to be tagged & who re-blogged my teaser.

@secretelephanttattoo @morgaussy @darkheartgatita @sp00kymulderr @survivingandenduring @sin-djarin @lilmizmoz @yazsos @ryangoslingstanktop @barbellpedro @givemeth @anavatazes @alwaysmicado @the-blind-assassin-12 @kirsteng42 @missredherring @gasolinerainbowpuddles @millennial-teenybopper @maggiemayhemnj @harriedandharassed @stevie75 @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @chaoticfestninja @reddedmiller @doughmonkey @sonderosa @magpiepillsjunior @chronically-ghosted @pedroswife69 @regalwhovianbrowncoat774 @marisemonteiroo @everythingiwanttoread @jjhayhay20 @nerdieforpedro @perennialdoll247 @casa-boiardi @joeldjarin @sscorpiiio @untamedheart81 @srmacaroni @violinchick @orcasoul @lucyeyelesbarrow @mandrillusphinx @loveisacowboyyy @suzmagine @disassociation-daydreams @anoverwhelmingdin @within-the-depths

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burreauxinfinity · 10 months

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In honor of my eras show (post concert depression is real.. experiencing cincy n2 is the highlight of my life.) being this week and the 4th ofc! ❤️🪩🎆

The way you move is like a full on rainstorm and I'm a house of cards

You're the kind of reckless that should send me runnin'

But I kinda know that I won't get far

And you stood there in front of me, just close enough to touch

Close enough to hope you couldn't see what I was thinkin' of

“Y/N! C’mon!” you heard Tee call to you from the water. You were sat on the edge of the boat sipping on your drink of choice and choosing the next song that would play through the speakers. Tee, Ja’Marr, Sam, and of course Joe along with their respective girls were in the water while you had chosen to dry off instead - after all it was getting late and you had swam earlier. The early July sun cast a perfect orange glow over the lakehouse you and Joe called home during the offseason. The two of you had been together for years now, meeting during his Ohio State days.

You laughed. “No chance, the water is too cold. Any of you want another drink?” you asked as you finally looked over at them.

Joe swam over to the edge of the boat, pulling himself up. He grabbed a towel as he spoke, the orange glow highlighting his blue eyes. “Wouldn’t mind another one.”

Drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain

Kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain

'Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile

Get me with those green eyes, baby, as the lights go down

Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around

'Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile

My mind forgets to remind me you're a bad idea

You touch me once and it's really somethin'

You find I'm even better than you imagined I would be

I'm on my guard for the rest of the world

But with you, I know it's no good

And I could wait patiently, but I really wish you would

A short time later you were curled up in one of the chairs on the patio, sitting on Joe’s lap with a blanket draped over you as you roasted marshmallows. It wasn’t quite dark enough for the fireworks the boys had gotten yet. Though you had insisted it probably wouldn’t end well, it was the Fourth of July and of course Tee and Ja’Marr couldn’t be swayed.

Joe ran his thumb along your waist, rubbing small circles absentmindedly. He was engrossed in a conversation with Sam, something about Travis Kelce. Ja’Marr butted in.

“Buds all talk, 3-1 and all he can do is run his mouth,” he looked annoyed but Joe just laughed, his smile growing. You were captivated by him still somehow, the way his smile trickled into his eyes and those smile lines. You just smiled softly, finally tearing your eyes from him and laid your head back on his chest as you finished your s’more as the boys continued to talk.

Drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain

Kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain

'Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile

Get me with those green eyes, baby, as the lights go down

Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around

'Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile

“Guys did you really need this much?” you let out a laugh as the boys set up their fireworks. They’d lined the dock with them and although you joked, you loved fireworks so you weren’t complaining.

“Too many options, we couldn’t decide,” Sam chuckled.

“He’s right.. Fuck it go big or go home right?” Tee shrugged as he set the last firework into place.

“No, I think she’s right honestly but.. Go for it,” Jess, Sam’s girlfriend, laughed beside you.

Joe took his place next to you on the patio finally, slipping his arm around your waist and pulling you close. You leaned into his body, the subtle smell of his cologne filling your senses. Tee and Ja’Marr stayed down to light the fireworks and make sure your house stayed uh.. standing and not on fire while Sam rejoined Jess.

I run my fingers through your hair and watch the lights go wild

Just keep on keepin' your eyes on me, it's just wrong enough to make it feel right

And lead me up the staircase, won't you whisper soft and slow?

I'm captivated by you, baby, like a firework show

As the fireworks went off, lighting up the sky and the water below, you glanced over at your boyfriend. His face was lit up, fully engrossed in the fireworks. You could swear that even after years together, his gorgeous smile and ocean-blue eyes seemed to draw you in. You seemed to fall more in love with him everyday and as you sat there now, with the people both of you loved most at your home, enjoying this holiday - you couldn’t imagine ever wanting anything else.

Drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain

Kiss me on the sidewalk (Ah-ah), take away the pain

'Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile

Get me with those green eyes, baby, as the lights go down

Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around

'Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile

And the sparks fly

Oh, baby, smile

And the sparks fly

#joe burrow #joe burrow fic #sparks fly #taylor swift #bengals (nfl)#joe burrow bengals #joe burrow x reader #Spotify

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cthulhusstepmom · 11 months

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Simon has been engaging in what he likes to call "exposure therapy"; in essence he'll go to Soap's room, usually when he's there, and stare at the snake until he feels his lips start to burn and twist. When he's feeling particularly brave he'll go sit on the bathroom floor and stare down the cobra, False cobra he reminds himself. That one is usually better, it's smaller and objectively otherworldly. It's hard to justify having a panic attack over a purple snake half as long as his arm. He's been getting better, the burning turns to a subtle itch to a barely noticeable twitch. It took five hours of sitting in cold tile to get even the slightest reaction last time, watching Hugo cruise around his enclosure while Johnny slept soundly in the other room. Hour six and he does something stupid.

He knows the falsie can't hurt him, no worse than a bee sting if he lets it chew him up, he read. He'd seen Soap handle him, seen the love in his eyes as he looked at him. He doesn't really realize he's done it until he hears the click of the glass door hitting home. And now Simon is frozen watching the snake come forward to investigate him, can feel the flicks of its tongue flicking over his gooseflesh. His lungs start burning, watching the snake flare out its neck hovering above his palm. His scales are wet from where he'd been swimming as he inches carefully onto Ghost's arm. The texture brings him back to the present, incredibly smooth and pleasantly warm to the touch from the warm water. Ghost shakes his head and looks down. Hugo is exploring his lap at a leisurely pace, poking his head into the folds of material in his sweats. Eventually he finds the stretched out pocket and in a flash he dives in and curls himself up as pleased as punch. After that, his exposure therapy takes a different turn and, with Soap's permission, he even takes Hugo to the break room in the dead of night to meet the goldfish (safely on the outside of the glass of course).

One day Soap approaches him with a pleased hop in his step and announces that he found someone for Hugo. Ghost isn't upset. He's not. He knows how Johnny's operation works, Hugo was never going to be a permanent resident...but it just feels so soon.

Soap gives him the details and a week later they've set a meeting in the parking lot of the local Tesco's. Hugo is leisurely curling through Ghost's fingers, distracting him from the exposed feeling of just a black medical mask, as Johnny watches with a small smile on his face that's slowly disappearing as the time crawls past fifteen minutes late. At half an hour late a loud car peels into the lot with a screech, making a beeline toward their borrowed pickup and pulling to a stop far far too close to Johnny for Simon's comfort.

The kid that gets out of the car is tall and lanky with dusty blond hair that's seen more gel than shampoo in the past several weeks. He's young, younger than Simon had expected and from the contemplative frown on Johnny's face younger than he expected too. He's early twenties, 24 at the oldest. He also reeks of cigarette smoke, not that Ghost himself is the perfect role model for lung health but he's not chain-smoked like that since he was a teenager with something to prove.

"Ay sup bruv! Sorry I'm late traffic's a fucking bitch." The kid claps a hand on Soap's back. "Where is it?" Soap is opening his mouth to answer but he's cut off by the next outburst. "Fuck mate you're holding it? That's fucking ballsy, mad respect! Big lad like you, probably take a while before it offed you though yeah?"

The urge to put a bullet through this cocky little wankstain is a loud chant in the back of his mind.

"Not worse than a bee sting." He growls under his breath.

"S' a Cobra innit?" The kid snarks.

"False Water Cobra." Soap corrects and Ghost can hear the click of his teeth as he spits out the words.

"...still venomous though right? Your post said it was venomous."

A pregnant pause fills the air as Soap and Ghost make eye contact. Silent communication flies between them, a language learned in a landscape of fire and death. The slightest twitch, a shallow nod.

"We're done here." Ghost snarls as let's Hugo slither into his pocket, crossing his arms.

"Oi! I dunno what you think you're doing freakshow but I'm not leaving without my fucking snake." The kid reaches ominously into his pocket.

The little shit makes it a single step forward before a heavy hand clamps down on his trapezius.

"Ah dinnae think yeh understand. We're done, aye?"

Ghost feels a grin twitching on his lips as he watches pain twist up the youth's pointed features, watching Soap twist him around and shove him into his car with little more complaint than a pained yelp.

When they're back on base Ghost lets out a small breath of relief when Hugo is safely returned to his palaudarium.

Laying with Johnny curled up on his chest later that night he feels more than he hears a small laugh.

"Yer attached to him now."

He heaves a great long-suffering sigh.

"Less of a brat than you are, made it easy."

His Johnny laughs loud and clear and if his brain is turning with plans of rearranging his room and researching plants then that's between him and god...for now.

#....hehehehhehe #hugo is finally more than a on offscreen gag!!#and of course Ghost fell in love with him just look at them.#being completely realistic:DO NOT FREEHANDLE ANY MILDLY VENEMOUS SNAKE YOU DO NOT KNOW #BAD IDEA #even if the venom isnt that severe you could be allergic and if theres anything you can do to avoid a bite just do it #also the rearfanged venemous species are so fascinating and i could give like a whole short seminar on them i love them so much #and yes Hugo is here to stay #cod mw2 #fish person gaz #ghost x soap #ghostsoap #reptile person soap #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #false water cobra

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klonnieshippersclub · 4 months

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Love Awaits

Happy New Year! This is my post for Day 3. Yes, I know it's a bit late and I'm very sorry for that. It's also not set in 1910 but in Marcel's youth. We have a bit of a "found family" coming together in this AU. This is a little longer than usual to make up for the delay.

Randall was her responsibility. It was only a few years ago he was kicked out of their home. Randall was a Bennett and the Bennetts valued family but Randall was a boy and he didn't quite fit. Bonnie took on the responsibility of caring for him and abandoned the only home she knew. He was only a small child, but their bastard father saw Randall as useless. It was early in the year when they had lost their mother from magical overload in defeating a pack of rogue wolves that were terrorizing a nearby town. Grief turned their father cruel. Bonnie and Randall left their small town Louisiana for the city. She was essentially a single mother at just fifteen with a five year old to take care of. It was hard but they made it work.

Years passed and they were happy. All they had was each other but that was enough. Randall even referred to Bonnie as his mother. At the age of 10, Randall found a slightly older boy unconscious by a pond. With his magic, he was able to send a message to his older sister. Luckily, she was not too far away and could provide medical aid to the unnamed boy with the knowledge she had from working as a nurse. Upon waking, the boy introduced himself as Marcel. Despite Marcel's insistence that he could walk home on the other side of the city, Bonnie and Randall brought him to their small home.

Hours passed and the boys lost time playing games (nothing too strenuous in consideration for Marcel's condition). Bonnie was making dinner when a belligerent knocking started at their door. When seeing the vampire snarling at her, Bonnie immediately sent him an aneurysm with her powers. She only stopped at Marcel crying out that this was his father. A vampire daddy was unheard of, but Bonnie believed the boy. With Marcel explaining the situation to his father (he was jumped by a rival to his father), the tension in the room disappeared. Bonnie made the sudden decision to invite the vampire inside if he provided his name. Klaus Mikaelson. From this point on, the families were close and the boys were basically inseparable.

It was a summer morning months later when Marcel dragged his father to the Bennett home. Klaus entered ready to greet Bonnie and Randall ran by with only one shoe to play outside with Marcel. Klaus called out to him, “Randall, get back here. You can't run off without your other shoe.”

The boy ran back inside the house to retrieve the shoe with Marcel following him. “I've been looking for it everywhere,” Randall said. Thanks, Pa.”

Bonnie appeared from the kitchen hearing their exchange with her hands on her hips. She voiced her confusion towards Randall. “Pa? He's not your father.”

“But Marcel said-”

“Shhhh,” interrupted Marcel while glaring at the younger boy.

Klaus raised a brow at his son and asked, “Marcellus, what did you tell him?”

“I only said it would be nice if we were a family.”

Randall continued, “And he said that mothers and fathers belong together.”

“Quiet!”

Bonnie could sense one of their childish arguments brewing. The arguments were never over anything serious but they tended to work out their problems physically and she didn't want them wrestling in the house. The last time they did so, they broke a vase of flowers. “Boys, we aren't together,” the Bennett witch remarked.

Marcel rolled his eyes at Bonnie's denial. “Are you sure?” he asked.

“Of course.”

“Then why is Pa so nice to you when he's mean to all the other ladies in covens?” Randall wondered aloud.

“He's not your Pa, Randall,” corrected his older sister/maternal figure.

Klaus and Bonnie were close but it wasn’t a relationship. “I respect Bonnie more than the arrogant witches of the city,” the Original justified.

Marcel joined in the questioning, “if you aren't together, why do you two always spend time together?”

Bonnie was surprised by the sudden interrogation and felt a bit defensive. The boys were together like glue. It shouldn't be so shocking that their guardians knew each other well. “We don't spend that much time together alone. You both are always with us.”

Randall was tired of their ridiculous excuses when he knew the truth. “Why did I see Klaus laying in bed with you?” he accused. “You were kissing!”

“Randall, what have I told you about spying?”

Instead of listening to the lecture he knew was coming, Randall took off with both shoes on his feet at lightning speed. He did not want to deal with his sister's wrath at him for violating her privacy. It didn't seem like a big deal to him anyway. He left immediately when he saw their lips touch. Marcel laughed as he went to catch Randall.

Klaus couldn’t help but to observe Bonnie and admire her beauty, even in her anger. “They think we’re in love,” Klaus said with a laugh.

Bonnie sighed, “it sounds silly and imaginative.” As much as her body desired his touch, they couldn't ever be romantically involved.

“We couldn’t ever be in love.” Feelings would complicate things. It would be a mistake for them to create a family together. Mortality would always separate them. As witches, they could never find happiness as vampires. Marcel could choose to turn when he got older, but Klaus could not expect that of Bonnie and Randall. “That’s a boundary that shouldn’t be crossed.”

#bonnie bennett #klonnie #klaus mikaelson #the vampire diaries #tvd #bonnie x klaus #klaus x bonnie #the originals #klonnieweek2023 #Rikki tries writing

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greatwesternway · 8 months

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Diesel Does It Some More

A thing I think is sort of overlooked about Diesel is that he is one of the few characters in the series who gets genuine development over the course of the show. Some characters get that over the course of two episodes, particularly if they are a one-off, but Diesel is the only one who got development slowly - so slowly - over the course of several seasons.

I have a longer, different post coming about his early history on Sodor so we're not gonna talk about Duck v. Diesel here. This post concerns what happens after the point at which we can assume Sir Topham Hatt finally gave in and bought Diesel outright, securing his place on the NWR's roster.

Effectively, what this means is Diesel is no longer in danger of being sent away, but it also means he has to invest more in his relationships with other engines because it's a small island.

He's not been well prepared for this on the Other Railway. Luckily he has tons of time to learn.

The first few seasons after his acquisition are rocky. Diesel needs to show he deserves his place on Sodor, but he usually tries to accomplish this by undermining other engines which is not conductive to getting the work done ("Fergus Breaks the Rules"). He's also still telling them that steam engines will be scrapped ("Thomas to the Rescue", "Squeak, Rattle and Roll"), which is obviously not true on Sodor but is often an effective way of achieving his first method. (It's also, I think, important to note that the punishment for the thing with Fergus was being sent to work at the smelter's, which is where 'Arry and Bert work, but that's an entire other post too. It set him back, let's just say.)

From here on out, though, Diesel is sometimes treated by the narrative neutrally rather than as a villain. In "Respect for Gordon" he's making fun of Gordon, but so is Emily so that's not really a comment on him so much (also he does this by facetiously wishing Gordon well which is an interesting and funny twist on that). He's the villain in "Emily and the Special Coaches" but it comes about that he's behaved this way because his accomplishment of shunting the most trucks in a day has been overlooked and he's acknowledged for it by the end of the episode.

In "Thomas and the Billboard", Diesel is actually the victim of circumstance (and his own reputation, let's be real). During a photoshoot for a billboard, Diesel is directed by the photographer to move forward and he accidentally obscures Thomas from the shot. Later, when Thomas sees the billboard, he assumes Diesel blocked him on purpose. Shit happens, the billboard has to be redone anyway, but this time, Thomas deliberately does not tell Diesel about the rescheduled shoot. Thomas keeps stalling the reshoot to keep Diesel from finding out about it, which in turn keeps all the other engines off their jobs as well. It later turns out the Diesel was doing the priority stuff they were all supposed to be doing and was now late to do his own jobs.

So to sum up, Diesel is the only one doing his fkn job today and Thomas is trying to fuck him over all unbeknownst. Fascinating! Thomas does apologize eventually and everyone gets to be on the billboard.

Then you got "Don't Go Back" where Diesel keeps goading Thomas into - more or less - friendly races that end up causing confusion and delay. The episode concludes with them setting out on another race so the takeaway isn't that Diesel was actually out to make trouble so much as just show he was better than Thomas.

These are all from the model series. I don't necessarily think there was any sort of organized effort to make Diesel more friendly here. One might even attribute this to the show seemingly forgetting who certain characters were. I'm pretty sure the show bible at this point specifically said he was a villain. Still, there's a cohesion to it and they're doing interesting things with the expectations. (Also, as an aside, Diesel being the only one doing his work also happened in "Diesel Does It Again" so that's not exactly out of character, hilariously enough.)

Diesel gets sidelined to cameos for a while as the show transitions to CGI, but he does have one notable outing in which he's desperate for the approval of children and commandeers a bunch of other engines' seemingly better freight to get it ("Diesel's Special Delivery"). This episode is sort of ??? but I do like the end where Diesel's boring utilitarian freight (slate to repair their school's roof) is actually what the children want. It's not a full treatise on steam/diesel relations, but most people probably think the Class 08 is boring compared to steam engines so if you're choosing to see this as a metaphor, then it's nice the functional freight got the appreciation in the end.

And this is where shit starts getting real interesting!

Day of the Diesels is... it's not a good movie. I won't lie and tell you that. But it does do very interesting things with the diesel vs. steam concept. It points out things that would happen on Sodor as a logical conclusion of dieselization on the mainland (things that look much more unfair than they are in a show that prefers to disregard that part of the lore) and I love how they re-conceptualized Diesel 10 from his Thomas and the Magic Railroad debut. That stuff deserves its own essay, but the important thing about Day of the Diesels today is that it's the first time we see a steam engine really giving Diesel the benefit of the doubt.

The engine in question is Percy and he's ideally suited to extend this olive branch. As far as steam engines go, he's got the least status among them. He pulls the mail train, but even the Pride of the Line is treated as beneath most of the other steam engines. He also lacks a pedigree. Granted, most of Hatt's early acquisitions have dubious claims to lineage but Percy's just a straight up mongrel with no discernible builder. And most exploitable, many the other steam engines don't treat Percy with much respect either. Even Thomas is blowing him off in the movie, which is what gives the diesels their opportunity.

It's no accident that the diesels choose Percy as the target for their appeal and it's no accident they enlist Diesel to reel him in. Diesel is convincing, persuasive, and knows the motions of sympathy even if he doesn't quite manage empathy.

Unfortunately, the second Percy arrives at the Dieselworks, they literally put Diesel on a shelf and Diesel 10 takes over.

But the point is, Percy is now an ally of diesel equity and he's got a sort of acquaintance with Diesel himself (aside from it undoubtedly being Percy's idea to strike rather than work with Diesel, who he'd only just met at that point). And it comes back around later.

In "Percy and the Calliope", Percy and Diesel are tasked with taking a busted-ass calliope to the smelter's, but Percy wants to see if it can be fixed. Diesel disparages the operation the whole time... but he does go along with every single thing that Percy wants to try too. Even after Percy insulted him by mistaking his squeaking axles for the Monster of Brendham six episodes earlier.

"Disappearing Diesels" is when the effort to actually develop him starts in earnest. Up to now, things have just been kind of moving along in a lazy and convenient sort of way. Diesel gets to approach the possibility of being cool as a matter of deus ex machina. This episode marks the first time they actually put a specific thing in that they reach back for later to show he's learned something.

In this episode, Diesel convinces all the other diesels to hide from Paxton. And Paxton, not being too bright, comes to the conclusion that all the diesels on Sodor have disappeared. He searches all over Sodor until he happens upon Diesel at the docks. Diesel runs from him but because he spends so fuel evading Paxton, he runs dry on the line. Paxton then shunts Diesel to the next station to get refueled which Diesel does not understand because this is surely not a thing that he would do.

"That's what friends are for," says Paxton.

That evening, Diesel takes the berth next to Paxton's and, though he cannot bring himself to say thank you, he does give him a pained little smile.

The next season, we've got "Wild Water Rescue", in which Diesel commandeers a job Percy was given because he thinks he's going to get his picture in the newspaper. He sends Percy to an abandoned quarry instead where Percy runs himself into a pond and puts out his firebox. Later, Diesel (after finding that the photo was only of Search and Rescue vehicles) goes to find Percy and tries to pull him out, only to flood his own generator too.

And as they are sitting there in that pond, Diesel makes a valiant effort to actually apologize to Percy. He can't quite get the word "Sorry" out of his mouth and he's interrupted by the entire Sodor Search and Rescue before he could manage it. Unlike the thank you he owed to Paxton in "Disappearing Diesels" though, he's actually making an effort here for Percy.

And Percy knows what's up. Percy knows what's good! The next day, he visits Diesel in the Dieselworks to thank him for trying to rescue him (even if Diesel tricked him in the first place) and to show him that he did get his photo in the paper.

Couple seasons later, there's "Springtime for Diesel" where he bumps Daisy so hard that her springs sprong. She has to go to the Dieselworks and it takes so long to get replacement springs in for her that rumors start circulating that she may have to be scrapped. Diesel feels terrible about this and goes to visit her. She pretends to be asleep though, which permits Diesel to actually say that he's sorry this time. With the words and everything!

He's then quick to excuse his behavior by saying that he's mean to other engines because they're mean to him and they blame him for everything, but that he likes Daisy and wishes he could make everything right again. He's resigned though that after this, she's probably not going to want to be his friend.

When Daisy does get her new springs, Diesel is the first to meet her on the tracks. She doesn't directly acknowledge his apology because I think she does get that's a big step for him and she doesn't want to call attention to it. She does tell him though that if he wants to be friends, he has to change his ways.

And he does!

...until literally the next episode where he's trying to start shit between her and Harvey, but Diesel is as Diesel does.

Finally - finally! - in "Sonny's Second Chance", Diesel comes full circle and takes responsibility for his mischief in order to save Sonny from being sent away.

In this episode, Sonny (a steam engine who arrived in the company of a pair of thieves) has been offered the chance to stay and work on Sodor, but only if he proves himself trustworthy and Useful. He finds however that though he tries to be helpful, his actions are interpreted in bad faith by other engines, leaving him ripe for exploitation by a certain engine who knows that song and dance by heart.

Diesel tricks Sonny into hauling his cars to the dump, but they're actually having fun together.

But Diesel fucks it up 'cause of course. On his next job, he brags to Percy that he tricked Sonny into pulling his fish cars, but Sonny overhears. He storms off to deliver the cars and Diesel, realizing he's fucked another friendship, chases after him, but gets switched onto a siding, derails, and almost falls into a Class 08-sized grave. Sonny (who has notably quick reflexes demonstrated both here and earlier when he bumped James out from under falling watermelons) is able to hook a tow chain on and pull Diesel away from the hole. He accidentally derails his own fish cars by backing up so fast, but he catches Diesel before he falls in.

And Diesel thanks him for it! No hesitation, no hemming and hawwing. And. AND! He also admits that he did not deserve to be rescued. Look at my boy! Look at him GO! And Sonny! Sonny tells him straight up, "No, probably not." Which, gangster. "Consider it a second chance." A second chance! For Diesel! No one's ever actually given him one of those before.

Then Sir Topham Hatt rolls up and - in form we've not seen Hatt Bullshit in for quite some time - looks upon this scene and focuses his attentions on clearly the most pressing and important thing: "What's going on here? And what are those fish doing on the tracks?"

Sonny takes responsibility for the fish, and Hatt is all "Well, you've had your chance. I did say you'd have to leave if-"

"No!" interrupts Diesel. And he begs Hatt not to send Sonny away. And admits that everything was his fault. And tells Hatt that Sonny saved him.

"Is this true?" Hatt asks in his blithe Hatt Bullshit way. And it is, so Hatt declares that Sonny can stay and word gets around that Sonny's a hero.

Then they cancelled the show so we never get to see him again!

I'm real fuckin' mad about it honestly because not only was Sonny's episode the culmination of a seasons' long character arc for Diesel, but Sonny is such a uniquely perfect character to give Diesel a proper friend, which I'd argue he never got. Paxton is too trusting, Percy has better options, Daisy obviously isn't going to be BFF's with this guy.

Sonny was so uniquely positioned to be a good friend for Diesel. He's new so he doesn't have existing relationships to interfere with or a long history of previous slights to overlook. He's already committed to giving Diesel a second chance at getting this friend thing right, but he's not forgiving or naive the way Percy and Paxton are. Sonny suffers from the same problems of reputation that Diesel does but is determined to overcome them, which Diesel has never had motivation or incentive to do before. They'd be good accountabili-buddies that way. And perhaps most importantly, Sonny is a steam engine so he'd be closing that old diesel vs. steam gap once and for all.

That Diesel actually fessed up to keep a steam engine on Sodor is something on its own. The implication is that Diesel has found something compelling and resonant about this guy that copping to his bullshit is preferable to Sonny being sent away. If you're keeping dieselization in the back of your mind, you perhaps know there's not many other places anymore for such an engine to go.

What a turnaround for the guy who first arrived on Sodor bragging about how revolutionary he was.

#ttte diesel #ttte percy #ttte sonny

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icequeenbae · 1 year

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Winter Outside (m) BBH

Part of Series: Love Coach [Lev.1] (m)

Full Masterlist: Love Coach series masterlist

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

ITnerd!Baekhyun, established relationship, slice of life, fluff domestic af, smut

Warnings: explicit content, unprotected sex, s o f t

Word Count: ~1.8k

Author’s Note: Well HELLO my dear sweetheartsss~ I know I took a while BUT I am finally coming with an early Christmas gift to all of you LoveCoach!Baek lovers!! Trust me, it was worth waiting for winter to get this 🔥😊 Also yay for the 500+ of you following my crazy little blog, I'm very happy to welcome each and every one of you here. Lots of other things coming, so stick around and let's go along this journey together 💕 Also just 1.5 months until Baek comes back, what in the world am I gonna do?? Spontaneously combust??

P. S. This story is part of series tagged above. I recommend starting with the series, however, you can probably enjoy this as a separate piece:)

Summary: Working from home would be much more comfortable if it wasn’t so damn cold in your apartment. But there’s two of you, and multiple ways to keep warm.

Network Tags: @superm-net @bbh-net @exo-writers-net

‘It’s not working, why isn’t it working?’ You grumbled, kicking the small heater with the tip of your fluffy house slipper.

An ‘ouch’ followed, and Baekhyun lifted his head to watch you jump on one foot.

‘Baby,’ he scolded, readjusting his computer glasses. ‘I told you, it’s out for good. The new one will arrive tomorrow.’

‘Tomorrow is a day too late! I’m going to freeze to death today,’ you exclaimed, still eyeing the non-functioning machine. ‘I haven’t been this useless since my intern years. We’ve spent what, half a day trying to fix this thing? Ugh!’

Turning around, you met his grinning eyes.

‘It’s not funny,’ you pouted, still stepping closer to him, as if he had a magnetic field around him. ‘You know I hate when it’s too cold.’

‘I know.’ He confirmed, lifting the heavy duvet off of his shoulder to invite you to his little cave. ‘You’ve been groaning all day.’

‘Damn right!’ You huffed, diving forward and sinking into his side just as he wrapped the comforter around you. ‘Oh my god, you’re so warm…’

He grunted as you curled into him, icy fingers digging into his waist.

‘Agh- do you have any blood flow in there?’ He nagged, putting his laptop down to cover your hands with his warm palms.

‘No,’ you mumbled, nuzzling the crook of his neck.

The ice-cold tip of your nose gave him a start.

‘Jesus, Y/N! Why are you all frozen already?’

You bellyached, digging deeper into his body in a quest for revitalizing warmth.

‘I told you, I can’t deal with these temperatures… And you’re a living heater,’ you added softly, pressing your lips to his hot smooth skin.

‘Y/N…’ Baekhyun sighed, glancing at his laptop. ‘I need to finish something real quick-’

‘No.’

You protested firmly, attaching yourself to him like a giant snuggly koala. The sound you made was probably just as scary.

Your boyfriend’s palm ran up and down your back slowly, and you shivered from the pleasurable sensation.

‘I promise to carry on my service as your heater right after I send out thi-’

‘Baek-hyun-n.’ Your voice was low, and he gulped, looking at his desktop almost in desperation.

The screen reflected in his lenses.

‘But this is important-’

‘Aren’t I important?’ You counterattacked.

It wasn’t that you had no respect for his job. But you knew he was way too responsible, and the prototype he was finishing up was probably due in another week, if not two. He could take his sweet time perfecting it tomorrow, after your heating was back up. Today, however, with your working hours well over, he needed to drop his bone and focus his attention on something else.

‘You’re the most important,’ he responded without hesitation, and you couldn’t help but smile in satisfaction. ‘But can I just-’

‘I need you,’ you muttered through a pout, and Baekhyun’s cache instantly cleared, all things IT erased at once.

It was a dirty trick, yes, but you didn’t care since your survival was at stake here. If he was the main source of warmth in this house, you weren’t going to share him with his laptop anymore. Letting him ‘finish up’ was out of the question as well. Knowing him… he’d stay on it for hours until he’d be ready to send it to his supervisor.

‘What is it, my little cinnamon bun?’ He snickered as you pinched his side for the mockery.

‘Make me warm,’ you demanded, arms still tight around his waist.

If there was a way to tangle, or melt yourself deeper into him, you would’ve gladly tried it.

Baekhyun shut his work laptop, barely able to move it to the nightstand with you gripping him with all you got. As soon as his precious PC was safely tucked away, his attention was on you again, and you felt his lips press to the crown of your head.

You murmured in response, moving your cheek up to look at him. His gaze met yours with more warmth, and you slowly sat up, braced by his arms. Not saying a word, you lifted your hand up to trace the rim of his glasses before removing them.

Baekhyun licked his lips in meek anticipation and stayed silent. His palms continued stroking your back leisurely, not allowing the cool air outside your cocoon to bite your skin.

You caressed his face before placing a playful smooch onto his cheek, eliciting a giggle. His arms were so snug and comfortable that you almost forgot about the winter outside, breathing his calming scent in and planting more featherlight kisses onto his skin.

‘Mmh, what’s this…’ Baekhyun’s question trailed off as your lips made contact with his, not colliding fully, only teasing.

His face followed yours, trying to gain more contact, and you moved down his jaw to leave a small mark on his sensitive neck. Soon giving into his attempts to catch your mouth, you leaned in for a kiss. An array of goosebumps ran up your spine while his tongue danced with yours. Your kiss was slow, dragged out, and you were almost sinking into this cozy mess of you and him and the thick warm covers around you.

‘B-Baek-hyun…’ You stuttered impatiently, inviting him to take matters into his own hands.

Lying back on the pillows with you still on top of his thighs, he lowered his hands from your back to your hips. You jerked them forward, pleasantly surprised by the flutter of his lashes and the hazy look in his eyes. He was always so quick to be affected.

‘Come ‘ere,’ Baekhyun whispered, and you bent forward to meet his lips again before he took his turn grinding on you.

This time, however, he held your hips steady to increase the friction. You let out a tiny whimper that nearly made him lose his mind. Noticing how strong his grip on you became, you swayed your ass again, amplifying the effect of his movements.

If you were to pay attention, you’d have noticed the instantaneous spike in temperature caused by your heated bodies. But at that moment, you were consumed by the firm grind of your hips and Baekhyun’s panting.

‘Shit,’ you gritted, biting your lip as you noticed the flush in his cheeks. ‘I really want to get down to it… But won’t we get cold without clothes?’

Baekhyun chuckled.

‘You think I won’t make you break a sweat without this hoodie?’ His hands, as if wanting to prove a point, quickly rid you of said clothing item.

Giving him a skeptical look as you fixed your hair afterwards, you shook your head.

‘The tee stays.’

‘As you wish,’ he agreed, coercing you into lying down next to him. ‘But the pants have to go.’

Gasping at the loss of your clothes, you quickly wrapped yourself around your loveable heater.

‘Babe, I need to take them off too…’ Baekhyun murmured as you nuzzled his neck again, trying to collect his warmth.

‘Just roll them down, who cares? I don’t care,’ you muttered, melting as his plump lips examined your skin.

‘Hm? I thought you hated clothed sex,’ he teased, reaching down to get rid of his sweats.

‘Now I’m preserving my life. Otherwise… who’d want to keep clothes on when their boyfriend has a body like that?’

‘Stop teasing,’ Baekhyun pouted, kicking his pants off under the duvet. ‘You know I haven’t been exercising properly while working remotely. And with the delicious food you’ve been feeding me…’

‘So? I’ve gained some weight too. More than ‘some’, even.’

Your hand found his length, making him gasp.

‘Not a fair comparison. It only made you… sexier,’ he sighed, and you snickered.

‘You think I don’t find you sexy?’

Squeezing his already hard cock, you watched him run his hand through his hair frantically. He was so easy.

‘Y/N…’ He latched onto your hip as you pressed his leaking tip to your folds and rubbed it against them languidly.

‘What? Eager to get to your workout?’ Your teasing was then interrupted by his impatient thrust.

Whimpering in surprise, you gripped his forearm to steady yourself. Baekhyun actually liked to start slow, giving you a taste of what those hips could do, and slow worked fine for you. Still wrapped around his waist, you enjoyed the heat of his body and opted to laze about, letting your boyfriend do all the work for tonight.

The position wasn’t the most comfortable, but you endured lying on your side, unwilling to interrupt the flow. Baekhyun’s hand crept under your (actually, his) shirt, exploring the curves of your body vigorously. Closing your eyes, you tensed your leg, pressing him closer to you. This was perfect. You were finally hot rather than cold, and your lover’s sporadic breaths in your ear only made you heat up further.

But Baekhyun had a different plan for you. Pulling you up to get you on top of his thighs, he gripped at your waist to hold you in place while thrusting.

‘Baek-’ You cried out, a sudden clench in your core catching you off guard.

He was getting you there so fast.

‘Fuck-’ He gritted, eyes tightly shut as he rammed into you at full speed.

‘Shit, don’t slow down…’ Whimpering, you went along with his pace, meeting his jerky movements halfway.

‘Agh- damn, Y/N-ie, you need to come right now, or else-’

‘Or what?’ You panted, breath uneven from the hits of his pelvis.

He growled, fucking into you with no mercy now, and you could only gasp for air with your release quickly approaching.

‘A- ah, god!’ You went into high pitch as the heaviness in your lower belly went off with an explosive orgasm.

Baekhyun sighed in relief, watching you get finished off by his hips, and focused on his own sensations. Before you regained understanding of your surroundings, he was holding onto you again and flooding your insides with warmth.

Both of you took the next few minutes to just breathe and wait for the whirlwind inside your bodies to die down. Baekhyun’s hands were back to caressing your spine, and you hummed content with your cheek pressed to his chest and arm hugging his shoulder.

The silence lasted strangely long, but neither of you were disturbed by it. Being in the position you were in now, you couldn’t be bothered to maintain the after-sex conversation.

Finally warm and comfy, you couldn’t help but blink sleepily as you looked up to face him. Baekhyun smiled down at you with that soft smile of his, but then his expression faltered, letting you know he was thinking something naughty.

‘Out of all the ways to keep warm… You chose the best one.’

Masterlist

A/N: Thank you for reading!! I miss replying to your asks and reblogs, so I hope we have fun chatting after you finish this piece ❤️

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kaeyas-beloved · 1 year

Note

Class 1-A with reader who's a high school detective? Or rather, UA's secret high school detective? Kinda like with Detective Conan! She helps the police solve cases, which she always gets right not through any Quirk but through logic and smarts. It's possible that she has a lot of excuse notes if she's ever late for school, or if she has to leave early to help with an extremely serious case. I bet a bunch of kids will be jealous until they figure out the reason behind her absences,

Characters: Class 1A

Genre: General/Humor/Fluff + Fic/Bulletpoints

CW: gn!reader (you/your/they/them)

a/n: 1) I've never actually watched Detective Conan (yet)! Is it any good? 2) This idea kinda grew on me when I started writing this, I think it's a really cool idea. Thank you for requesting anon, I'm really sorry for the long wait and I hope you enjoy! (and sorry for any OOCness, it's been some time since I watched BnHA but I still wanted to finish this)

Class 1A w/ a Secret Detective Reader

"Heyyyy it's (L/N)! On time for once are ya?" instantly your head snapped up at the cheerful call, blond hair with a streak of black catching your eye. Finishing off a note within the margin, you straighten and stretch for the first time in what felt like weeks. Both hearing and feeling that oh so satisfying pop you relax, offering the male and the group behind a tired smile. Briefly, you couldn’t help but wonder how Kaminari (and honestly everyone else) had so much energy this early in the morning. Though, upon remembering that they don't spend hours pouring through case files you brush the thought away quickly.

"Hmph, that's a first," the spiky, rough-around-the-edges ash blond tuts. You pay his comment no mind, something between a tired huff and a laugh passes through your lips, it's not like he's wrong.

"Heh, the world must be ending." Though you spoke in nothing but a mutter most heard your follow up. Good natured laughter fills the room, you included in its chorus.

It’s no secret that you're tardy more often than not. At the beginning, most didn’t know how to interpret your routine of a flimsy excuse notes in hand and a rushed apologizing. Were you not used to early morning classes? Traffic hold you up? Are you late on purpose perhaps?

“No, no and no,” you reassured one afternoon. Then why? someone asked, to which you left them with a flamboyant “I'm saving the world!” Everyone was quick to drop it back then - not out of respect, but because they knew if they're getting a dumb, zealous answer like that then they can kiss a real answer goodbye.

Of course, behind the scenes many were dying to know your real reasons. They theorized, sharing their thoughts with one another when you aren’t around. Hell, Kaminari, Mina, Sero and a select few all going as far as to make a post it board, red sting tying info together and all. After all, if Aizawa is always there, ready to deliver a quick and light scolding the second you try to sneak to your seat mid-lesson, it can't be that bad, right? Unfortunately, to this day your secret remains shrouded in mystery.

Your sly joke from mere moments ago sparked a large, seemingly never-ending conversation with the class. In your defense, you did try to stay on task, but really, how could you not spend some time with your friends? Not to mention that it's been far too long, the police and UA keeping you busy. A break is just what you need to stay in tip-top shape.

Attention pulled far from your gloomy detective work, the atmosphere felt light, carefree within the room as everyone talked and had fun. A welcomed change.

The rolling of the classroom doors puts an abrupt stop to the merriment. Being around long enough to know the routine, every teen made their way to their respective seats.

Aizawa said nothing at first, standing dead in his spot in the doorway. No one dared to whisper their concerns about if something happened, but it was safe to say everyone felt on edge.

Finally, he speaks, "(L/N)."

At once their world came to a screeching halt, twenty pairs of eyes darting between yourself and the teacher. Other than when you're late, you never get called out right off the bat, never mind the tone used.

Silence stretched on for several agonizing seconds, not one soul making a sound. Tension only rose when a few caught sight of the police chief out in the hall, additional officers on either side.

Shock morphs into fear. What's happened? Are you in trouble? Have you done something wrong? Got mixed up with the wrong crowd? With each new thought that pops up in their minds a disgustingly familiar feeling grows, threatening to consume them whole. Just as a group of students open their mouths to finally say something, defend your innocence, demand answers, the squeak of your chair being pushed back cuts it all off.

…How are you so calm?

Clear as day you appear unbothered. As if it doesn't appear that your arrest is upon you. So, is it just a cover? A way to hide the fear pumping through your system?

As you stand and walk further and further away from them all, Aizawa hot on your heels, the class is left to wonder if history is repeating. Are they about to be so paralyzed that they'll fail to protect a friend once more?

"Don't do anything stupid. We'll be back shortly," Aizawa's gruff voice says and the door shuts.

-- --

They're already planning your prison break, the sweethearts <3

Most rationale has left the room since no explanation makes sense other than worst-case :/

It's Bakugou - who just so happens to sit next to you - and all his smarts that loudly demands everyone to "calm the hell down", quickly adding that "they're not going to jail you cry-babies, they work for them."

Of course that does nothing to remedy the situation. What does Bakugou know? It takes the ash-blond shoving your discarded case documents into everyone's unsuspecting faces for them to believe him.

Cue a loud chorus of "THEY'RE A DETECTIVE!?" Which is true, you are in fact a detective. Or, a part-time one at least, if the scrawled Detective Work in your writing was anything to go by. Safe to say some of your closest friends are somewhat hurt you didn't tell them. Don't worry they get over it quickly, they've plenty of time to harass you, seeing as you’ve just walked back into the room.

And seeing how everyone is staring at you, multiple papers scattered between the group it's not hard to piece things together.

"The cat's outta the bag I suppose," you get ready for the storm that's coming your way, sitting back down and taking a deep breath.

No teaching was done that day.

Like most reveals that happen, things settle back to normal after a week. Now instead of getting asked why you were late your friends are asking for all the juicy details of your case (none of which you can actually tell them). Doesn't stop some from asking every time though,,,,

Feel free to talk to them seriously. You might not be able to tell them much, but if you're in a slump and need to talk it out with someone they're more than willing to listen. You'll either figure it out on your own or they'll end up saying something that makes everything click :)

You're no longer just UA's detective but Class 1-A's personal super sleuth now. Something's missing? Better call Sherlock Holmes. And with this bunch, you're going to get called a lot. You could make a profit if you started to charge them :|

I can definitely see them bringing you snacks/meals and something to drink if you're stuck working long hours or late into the night <3 Like they'll see your light on and they'd make sure to stop by the kitchen just so they can drop off something for you on their way back.

Stressful or upsetting case? These guys are the best at distracting you. Bakusquad will drag you out to play some video games in one of their rooms or at an arcade. If that's not something you're into or you're not in the mood you can always train with someone and let out some steam that way. Or or or the girls will gladly take you out shopping with them!

Many are more than willing to help you catch up on classwork. They understand that balancing class, being a detective for the school and an internship is no easy task

If you're ever gone for a long period of time because your work takes you out of town or something be ready for a warm welcome back and hugs the moment you walk through the door :)

Oh, and you're absolutely right Anon, no less than 80% of the class is jealous you get to leave early and they remain that way even after learning why lol. "Oh to be a detective and get to leave early!" Literally all of them at one point or another with their own way of saying it.

Tag list: @tickotaku // @decora-peaches // @dorkylittleweirdo // @thylocalcrackhead // @that-enby-alien // @xenuuu // @unidentifiedzombie // @lordbugs // @akiria12167

. . .

Wanna be tagged in future works? Consider filling out this form! And if you want to be removed just DM or send an ask into my inbox!

#bnha fanfiction #bnha x reader #bnha #mha #mha x reader #mha fanfiction #class 1a x reader #class 1 a headcanons #bnha class 1 a #bnha class 1a #class 1 a x reader

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mindibindi · 9 months

Note

hey! sorry for bothering you, but i as a fellow x-phile i would like to ask how credible it is that gillian anderson and david duchovny hated each other back in the day? there are probably quotes or something but i can't really judge anything this late after the fact. i did watch the show when it aired but i was too young to get into internet culture. anyway, i'm hoping for some wisdom from fans who remember this. :) thank you!

Hey Anon,

It’s no bother and thanks for the ask. And actually, after the fact is a good position from which to view this matter since, as we all now know, Gillovny’s story has a happy ending. I was around for the original run too but internet culture was very different then. Not everyone was constantly online, I certainly wasn’t. The internet was expensive and hard to access so I got a couple of hours per week tops, which I mostly used to read fanfic. (Fanfic for this show/ship was basically my fanfic writer origin story: I was like WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO THIS TOO???!!! And btw: readers complain these days about the pressure to respond to fanfic. Back in the day, you had to compose a whole fricking email if you wanted to badger your fave author for more. And there was certainly no easy kudos button option to make you feel like you’d done your bit to encourage community. Anyway.)

There were fan sites, message boards and lots of different fanfic archives. And sure, there was some gossip but it still mostly came via old print media. Pre-social-media, there wasn’t a direct line to celebrities or any great expectation placed on them interact with fans in regular, intimate ways. The advent of social media has created these parasocial relationships in which (some) fans think they know or have a right to far more than they do. Back in the day, and istg this is true, I posted a picture of DD with Blue in the surf on some now defunct message board. The moderators removed it and v kindly said: nope, against our guidelines, no images of private moments taken without the person’s consent. I mean…. talk about boundaries! My baby fangirl ass was properly chastised and learnt a valuable lesson. I think we can learn a thing or two from early internet culture and original fans, some of which are still knocking about this site.

Anyway, all of this is to say, I don’t have any special insight here. The only people who know in any great detail what truly went on in DD and GA’s relationship is them, and maybe a few people in their immediate vicinity. But XF fans are lucky enough to stan two very honest, emotionally thoughtful people who have shared with us some of the challenges they faced during the show’s original run. And, for better or worse, when people tell you who they are, I tend to believe them. Yes, there are other fans that can probably provide you with quotes and timelines and (wild) speculation, but I think I know enough to give a fairly objective opinion on what I think actually occurred. For me, the most pertinent quote here is Gillian’s characterisation of their relationship as being like “a forced marriage”. I take this to mean that, like any marriage, there was great intimacy, respect, cooperation and commitment. Maybe even love. But there was also a lack of choice that caused tension, despite multiple positive relational elements.

“Tension” is a word that has also been applied to their late-90s relationship and I think it’s probably more accurate. I don’t think they HATE hated each other. But I think they probably had fleeting moments of feeling: OMG this person is getting on my last sane nerve, I cannot stand to be around them another fricking second. I think the protracted and concentrated intimacy of their circumstances gave rise to SOME super understandable negative feelings that ultimately, did not define the true nature of their relationship, either then or now. I don’t think those feelings were all there was, even back then. I don’t think these two were epic lovers any more than they were bitter enemies. I think they were just two human beings attempting to function under super intense scrutiny and an extremely gruelling work schedule. And that at times resulted in tension or irritation which they found ways around. Talking to each other only as Mulder and Scully may sound terrible to some but I think it’s a rather ingenious way to conserve their energy for their jobs. It shows an incredible commitment to their characters, to the show and to the contribution the other was bringing to that celebrated dynamic. They knew it was important so that's where they focused.

We have all had times in relationships where we’ve needed some space, even from someone we like, love, respect and value. If anyone was struggling to understand this dynamic between DD and GA then recent experiences of lockdown should have provided some insight into this kind of intense forced intimacy. Now, I have never been married but I’ve lived with people and that experience will make you loathe how a person walks, breathes, sleeps, eats, does the smallest, most insignificant things. It’s not the permanent state of your relationship. It’s just a passing reaction. It does not matter how much you might like or appreciate this person. In one bright flash, they become the most infuriating person to ever walk the planet. Then you go into another room or go to work and the feeling fades. But what happens when you can’t get away, you actually can’t get the sort of space a healthy relationship needs? We all saw how lockdown increased the pressure on all relationships, especially partnerships and marriages. There was pressure within and without and people reacted naturally to profoundly unnatural circumstances. That’s all that happened here.

Now, it must be pointed out that even during periods of the original run when their relationship was supposedly suffering, there is footage of them having fun on-set and ruining takes by making out. This supports the idea that any “hate” was an understandable but impermanent reaction for both. Actually, I think it is highly admirable that they were able to collaborate together and remain individually sane while experiencing such relational tension. It shows incredible personal fortitude and professional commitment. They stayed focused and pragmatic and, to me, there is never any indication that their personal struggles impacted the final product. In fact, I believe they actually enhanced Mulder and Scully’s relationship in those middle years of the original run when they too were experiencing some growing pains in their relationship. I’m thinking of the raw emotion in that end scene of “Elegy” and the palpable impatience and antagonism in “Gethsemane”. I’m thinking of the division and sadness in the hospital scene in “The Red and the Black” and throughout “The End”. Like Mulder and Scully, David and Gillian have some fundamental similarities and some very distinct differences. For the first few years of the series they were living very different lives. It took them time to attune to each other, just as it took Mulder and Scully time to fully absorb the many intricate dimensions of their relationship. As DD and GA grew older, their lives became more similar and their understanding of each other likewise grew. And honestly, I think it’s somewhat hypocritical and inhuman to appreciate the many complex beats of the M/S relationship as it plays out on-screen, but then judge their real-life counterparts as they tread an equally complex path towards true understanding, appreciation and love.

I haven’t watched TXF in years and in my recent rewatch, I was surprised actually at just how combative this relationship could be. I had only remembered all the sweet, shippy bits! But (and I should not really have to point this out) that's also what is so compelling to watch. The conflict. The contrast. The difference (not just in height, although their physical difference does act as a powerful symbol of their mismatched but ultimately complementary dynamic). The difference and yes, even at times tension, between David and Gillian only adds to a dynamic that so many have tried and failed to emulate (RIP to any reboot of this show. This show IS DD and GA’s chemistry. End of.). I can’t be mad or disappointed about Gillovny’s 90s tension, so carefully navigated by both actors, because fuck me does it work for the MSR angst! D’you think we’d have so many delicious angsty fanfics if these two had been sunshine-y, tension-less best buds every step of the way?? Not only is some tension an understandable human reaction that I believe they have every right to, it adds dimension to an epically URSTy relationship that could have gotten boring (and kinda did towards the end, let's be real). There is an added, honest, brave truth to the moments of impatience, frustration, disagreement and division in the M/S relationship because DD and GA experienced these things themselves in the context of their equally intense working relationship. I think the actors continued to mine their own tension and express it through Mulder and Scully, which again is a super creative and healthy way to protect their working relationship and serve the M/S relationship. A relationship in which they were invested, but also a relationship that was central to the show and important to so many fans.

In time, the more intense M/S moments lost their bite. The relationship became softer, less combative, more appreciative. The LA move decreased the actor’s isolation and gave the show a new tone. Gillian is on record saying how strange it was for her when David disappeared in later seasons. And we all know the story of the 10 min post-"Existence" embrace (if you don’t let me know). So this story has a neat and satisfying ending even if Mulder and Scully never really got theirs. As evidenced by the second movie and reboot, nothing was destroyed. The chemistry remains (even if it’s not served by quality plot, development, context and characterisation). These human beings and artists did their best under difficult circumstances. They protected the work, the characters and their relationship. In fact, I would venture to suggest that the wild appreciation they show for each other now, the enduring chemistry we see on-screen and the palpable enjoyment they feel at the other’s presence any time they get the opportunity to reunite is in part due to how they navigated their early years as mismatched colleagues thrown together and expected to work closely under immense pressure. Thanks to David and Gillian, hate never took root. And now, in DD’s words, all that’s left is the heart.

#txf #the x files #msr #mulder x scully #fox mulder #dana scully #gillian anderson #david duchovny #gillovny #90s tension #ask #ask a question of me and you will get an essay #any aunty fangirls with further info or thoughts are free to chime in #but hate will be blocked

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acacia-may · 1 month

Note

*sheepishly pokes my head in*

If oc x cc ships are okay, then can I ask for Lyra's ships of Yuno x Neva and William x Zera, and mine Fuegoleon x Solara 🥺👉👈

Hi Laura! No need to be sheepish. 💖 Thank you so much for the ask and for indulging my ramblings. I think it's incredibly sweet that you've asked about @lyranova's pairings. They're lovely! I'm honestly a little feral about Zerilliam, and I rambled about that and about the pairings in general in this response to Lyra's ask. ^^

I would be thrilled to share my Fuelara thoughts with you here, especially since, at this point, I am so invested in this pairing that I have to constantly, consciously remind myself that Solara is not a canon character. She just exists in the world of Black Clover in my mind now, and whenever I imagine or think of Fue, she is right there by his side.

I have to be honest that before I found your blog and we became friends, I really didn't think that much about Fuegoleon. I always liked him and had a lot of respect for him, but he wasn't really a character I just sat around and thought about too much. (His brotherly relationship with Leopold is just too functional. Let's blame that lol😂 I promise I'm only joking, and I adore them! Vermillion Bros for the win!!) But you write him with such depth and such nuance that it really gave me a new appreciation for his character. That one shot you wrote about his feelings of inadequacy after his injury has stuck with me to this day and remains one of my favorite fics I've ever read about anything in any fandom. You and your incredibly powerful writing made me love Fue, and as I was coming to really love him and becoming so much more invested in his character and his story, I found your absolutely incredible Solara who is truly (and this is probably intentional on your part but needs to be said) perfect for him.

Fuelara is everything a canon character x oc relationship should be in my opinion. I hope it goes without saying that Solara is such an incredibly strong and compelling character in her own right and I love that you've given her her own story beyond just being Fue's love interest, but even beyond that, she fits so seamlessly into the world of Black Clover (and I know you shared with me in the past that that was something that was really important to you while creating her, and I think you have succeeded in that in every possible way). Like I said in the beginning of this post, I really do genuinely have to remind myself she isn't canon. She just feels like she belongs there. I can't tell you how much the way you've meticulously crafted Fuelara and weaved them into the world of BC has been a personal inspiration for me. (Apologies in advance for the tangent but) my big passion project right now is a very ambitious multi-chapter fic for another fandom which I'm co-creating with a friend of mine, and it involves an OC x CC relationship (that I'm mostly in charge of 😅) so I actually find myself thinking about and talking about Fuelara as kind of this blueprint and inspiration for everything I can only hope my own ship will ultimately be. Even though the world of that story (late 90s/early 2000s suburban America) and the world of Black Clover couldn't possibly be more different, I'm sure Sprinkles could tell you that I have specifically mentioned Fuelara (specifically their relationship's seamless integration into the existing world and story) and what an inspiration it is for me personally, so many times while working on this project. It is truly so impressive, and I want to write like that. (Side note, I have definitely been using your tips and suggestions for OC integration throughout this process, so thank you again for that!)

Beyond just how well Solara perfectly fits into the world (which I've rambled about a lot), she also perfectly fits with Fuegoleon to the point that it's actually difficult for me to imagine him with anyone else at this point. I'm honestly really surprised I have made it through these ramblings without any random, unsolicited music references, but you're about to get one. There's a song called "We Go Well Together" by Goldheart (Spotify; YouTube) and here's a few lines, "We're just like kids up on a swing/Finger and a wedding ring/We go perfectly/It's so easy." That's just Fuelara to me: It's so easy. That's not to say that it's easy for them--they've certainly had their struggles and been through so much together, but their relationship dynamic, their love for each other, and their interactions are just so effortless. Of course Embers is fantastic, but I think I love your cozy little one shots about them most of all because I just adore how they interact with each other. They're so comfortable with each other, and it feels so real and so genuine. There's really no need for me to suspend belief or to try to create some buy in into their relationship. They just talk to each other and I'm immediately convinced they're deeply in love and just perfect for each other. One of my favorite things about them is how they are both such strong people, but they can be vulnerable together, and I love these really tender moments where they encourage each other that they don't have to carry the weight of the world alone. I just can't get over how supportive they are of each other, and I just adore that.

Gah, this ship is just so good. It's canon. It's honestly better than canon in a lot of cases, and I really can't get enough of it. I think I've said this before, but I'll say this again. Thank you for this pairing! I love it. ❤️‍🔥

#fuelara for the win #they just exist in my mind forever now #what do you mean they're not canon?#fuelara #fuegoleon x solara #thanks for the ask!#acacia's ramblings #laura 🧡

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stoopid-turtle · 8 months

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I've seen people theorize as part of the devil's timeline (which I don't really subscribe to, but am curious about) that ggdd were pretending not to know each other beforehand when they started filming CQL and that that would explain why they got more familiar over time but also so quickly in the BTS. To me this would explain a couple things (like sharing phones so soon) but creates so many more questions that I have a hard time buying it. Mainly: I 100% understand why they wouldn't want to tell fans/the world at large any more details about their personal lives/relationship, since it's not our business, but I can't figure out why they'd like... act in front of the whole rest of the cast as strangers. I don't *think* it would make it seem like one gave the other any advantage in the casting process, but what do I know? And I can't think of a lot of other reasons for acting that elaborate/long-term. I was wondering if you had any takes on this?

Also! I wanted to say thanks again for your posts so far and I respect that it's not something you plan to keep doing, but I was (hoping) wondering if you were thinking about sticking around in the fandom as more of a spectator? I'm also a new turtle as of like 5 months ago so it's nice not to be the only one still going 🤯 over some of the BTS in 2023 when it's ancient news to everyone else. Thanks again for your hard work on your posts and timeline!

Hi!

Do they share phones really early? The earliest I saw was 7.7, though I'm not especially eagle-eyed. Beyond that instance and dd using gg's phone while the cast ate lunch on 8.2, I didn't notice either of them sharing phones in the videos I saw.

I guess I'm the odd one out bc I don't think they became familiar unusually fast. It seems like a reasonable timeline for the age they're at, from my experience. So I don't see the need to have an explanation for that since I don't see anything out of the norm in how their relationship progresses.

That's probably why I take the Devil's Timeline as interesting speculation but not much more.

But your main point is definitely a sticking point for me too.

Spitballing it, maybe they wanted to hide the nature of their relationship at first until they realized it was a gay-friendly set. But even then, why act like they don't know each other at all? They have a reasonable explanation for how they'd be acquainted: they met on DDU a year before. I'm not sure why they'd play coy.

Of course, behind the scenes industry stuff is always a wild card. We don't know what we don't know, and maybe gg and dd had a good reason to pretend they didn't know each other at all. I'm not well-versed enough in c-ent to even have a guess as to what that might be, but I assume it's possible.

At the same time, they later seem open about their relationship on set, even having couple fights and flirting while surrounded by cast and crew. So why hide things at the beginning?

I've been watching through some more of the daily bts on another playlist, and gg and dd act how I'd expect 2 reserved people to act on the first few days of working together. Of course, that's real subjective to assess, so somebody else could come away with a completely different impression of how they're acting. But, personally, I don't see anything that needs any explanation.

re: your second para: I'll probably go back to lurking. I have a primary tumblr acct that I use to lurk on a bunch of fandoms. I already followed the bjyx tags and a lot of the turtles on that acct before setting this up. I definitely plan to keep up with the boys, but I don't foresee posting that much in the future.

(I reserve the right to give in to my impulses and hunker down for the long-haul, though.)

I always get to a fandom late! I missed all the excitement when the bts first came out, but I still feel hype when I come across new-to-me stuff. I'm happy to enthuse with others!

#bjyx #yizhan #asks

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dogtoling · 11 months

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I want to know more about peppermint! im so in love with her

THE PEPPERMINT STANS ARE REAL ITS OVER. she is one of my oldest OCs and there's like a lot to talk about because of that, so I'll try to keep it pretty brief (and fail). Edit: I'm halfway through the post and I DID NOT KEEP IT BRIEF.

Anyway Peppermint is great. She's just a silly little (NOT LITTLE) guy. She plays in a band, and she plays turf wars occasionally, she's in her late 20's with ZERO fucking clue what to do as a career, and she's a Humboldt squid which means everyone who sees her for the first time thinks she is the devil.

(Granted, in Turf Wars, she kind of is. Widely hated Range Blaster enjoyer.)

In a clamshell, she's honestly just a chill kind of girl. She's really tall compared to most Inklings, and her species means she has VERY mean claws on not only her hands but also her suckers. She has a very boyish demeanor, which isn't really uncommon among Inkling girls, but it does get less common when you move out from the teenager categories into young adults. She's the oldest sibling of her family with five younger siblings, and she REALLY loves kids and has always done her best to be a good example. For the most part she's done a really good job at that, since most of her siblings think she is extremely cool and charismatic, and her youngest siblings are ENAMORED with her and are all over her whenever she's got babysitting duty.

(A picture of her family that i made! Half of it is sharks because her mom got married to one, so her stepdad is a shark, but she already lived on her own when this happened so it's a bit awkward.)

Her species has been a major struggle for her throughout her life which is extremely frustrating. Humboldt squids, in comparison to most other squids, are imposing with their large size, deadly claws and stereotypically violent personalities. The last part is obviously not true, but a lot of the time people will assume it is, especially if you happen to be a very emotional and excitable person (which she is!). So Peppermint has spent a lot of her life trying to juggle trying to minimize herself and her emotions to a degree where people don't get scared (impossible task) but so it's also not miserable. For her, it's meant that she's developed into a pretty big people pleaser (within reason) and is pretty good at resolving arguments. It's a whole obstacle course that she's always struggled with because in spite of how careful she is, she DOES also have issues with impulse control, and it's at times very easy to rile her up (her friends think it's funny because they know she's not actually dangerous).

One aspect that she's never held back in is Turf Wars. She mainly played like a decade ago in the early 2010's, and she was already a key player in the Inkopolis scene when the scene itself was fairly young, there weren't that many rules, Turf Wars were solely for cool guy merits and Rollers were extremely niche as most people just used Splattershots and whatever else few weapons existed before the sport exploded in the mainstream. She was one of the first reputable Roller players around and people generally thought she was really scary, because her focus in turf wars has ALWAYS been "get into the enemy base and kill them as hard as possible as many times as possible". Despite the respect she garnered in her early turf war playing days, she didn't really have any friends and people generally steered clear of her and some even insisted that her being a Humboldt squid was giving her an unfair advantage because everyone is too scared to fight back against her, yadda yadda yadda... despite the fact that at this time in life she was already making the conscious decision to ALWAYS try and position her suckers away from people when talking to them and wearing her tentacles up. But hey you just can't win with some people.

Anyway early to mid 2010's, she actually found friends in the sport when she teamed up with Boy and Dodo and promptly formed "Blue Team". The name was her idea and Boy doesn't leave her alone about it to this day. It is agonizing. Engel joined the team some time later, but at first, it was a tri-squad endeavor. And it worked pretty well even when the fourth person was a total stranger or even missing altogether, due to Peppermint being one of the best players on the field, definitely one of the top Roller players, and one of the first people to be mastering the use of Kraken. Later down the line when more branded weapons came out and the sport became more mainstream, she did become a Krak-On Splat Roller main and she had a lot of fans, but also a lot of people who would straight up leave and go home if they heard they were going against her in today's match. (Which she was both proud of and frustrated about, because on one hand she felt great joy in her battle prowess scaring people, but on the other hand she knew that a lot of the time it wasn't just about how good she was.)

Back in her teens, she actually went by the name "Stripes" due to her signature blue-striped shirt, and she actually ended up in a (VERY HEATED) rivalry with Amber at the time because... she ALSO went by the name Stripes. Their rivalry lasted like a year or two and it was actually extremely one-sided (Peppermint lost literally every time and she was FURIOUS). Where Peppermint was widely considered a demon because of her aggressive playstyle and Krakening, Amber was considered one because barely anybody could get close enough to splat her and she had insanely good Inkzooka aim.

(this picture is so funny i have to post it every time.)

The more awkward thing about their rivalry was definitely that it was one-sided in more ways than one. Not only could Peppermint never even lay a FINGER on Amber, but she was also the only one that was passionate about it or thought it was a rivalry at all. Amber was actually quite unenthusiastic and was kind of annoyed that this squid keeps trying to rematch her every other day like she's actually going to win one of those days. (Spoiler: She was not going to win.)

The other awkward part was that Amber was a pretty girl that absolutely killed it in turf wars despite being something of an underdog (why is a cuttlefish doing turf wars????). And it was super cool, if not frustrating, that there was someone out there that Peppermint couldn't lay a finger on despite previously thinking she HAD to have been one of the best players out there, and more importantly... there was someone out there who wasn't scared of HER at ALL. In a city where most people saw her and were like oh shit! This girl is so scary for existing! no. There was actually someone out there who wasn't scared AT ALL even in spite of Peppermint actually hoping she WOULD be a little scared. Like, at least a LITTLE, please. A little droplet of respect. PRETEND i'm even a TINIEST threat to you please. I. so in other news:

Moving on. She never got to win or even Kraken her once until recently and she very nearly quit Turf Wars altogether after her spirit was TOO crushed about how bad she was at it. She did take a brief break and she ended up returning by going out of her comfort zone and picking up a new weapon to start practicing with instead, that being the Custom Range Blaster! But when she did come back, she found to her dismay that Amber was just GONE and there were no traces of her. So from that point onward, she was rival-less, and she was super bummed about it at first... but life goes on, and she went on to play with Blue Team and learn to have proper fun with friends instead of hyperfocusing on beating One Girl. And Blue Team kind of killed it for a year or two, to be honest, even going into a handful of tourneys. And of course they were all in their late teens at that point, but that didn't make them "old news" at all. Especially not Peppermint, because she was more in tune with her team and herself than she ever had been, having come out of a slump and learned to read the battlefield in a completely new way after getting new perspective with a fresh weapon.

So the TL;DR is that Turf Wars mean a LOT to her. Which is why they're like 80% of this post, whoops. Uh. So she ended up having to quit them late 2010's, like, completely, ENTIRELY. She developed Kraken syndrome, and it kind of hit her like a truck in the span of a month or so. And when you combine a person who maybe has impulse control issues and is also extremely emotional and quick to get fired up, ESPECIALLY in turf wars which she took extremely seriously at the time, with a condition that triggers Krakening extremely easily during bouts of elevated anger or even excitement.... yeah. (Read my post on Krakening for insight on this if you somehow havent seen it?)

It was NOT pretty and it's miraculous that nobody got seriously injured at the time, and she had to drop Turf Wars and ink battling as a whole pretty much immediately. This was a REALLY big thing for her because she was obviously really confused and scared as to what the hell was HAPPENING, as is pretty natural to feel when your body is doing things outside your control. This was on top of being devastated because she had been totally banking on becoming a professional ink battler, having dedicated years of her life into improving and learning the ins and outs of Turf War, and it was all ripped away from her just like that. She did not have a good couple of years following this.

Or she wouldn't have had a good couple of years if she hadn't been roomies with Engel. Obviously, when Peppermint had to retire from Turf Wars, Blue Team disbanded near immediately - nobody (except maybe Dodo, because to him, it had basically been a solo endeavor the whole time anyway) felt like it was worth anything to continue playing without her. It was also an act of solidarity because everyone figured it would just be salt in the wound for her to see everyone else continuing to chase their dreams when she couldn't. She honestly had NO idea what the hell to do with her life for a while - doctors didn't really know what the heck was going on with her, medications initially didn't work or worked TOO well (zero emotions), and she wasn't in a state where she could just get a job and call it a day but RENT STILL EXISTED. Anyway, this is where Engel comes in, because in a situation where he ALSO just lost his biggest hobby and was nearing a dangerous depressive slope, he'd looked up to Boy and his hobby in music. Enter: Deep Sea Dead Zone.

Okay so at first there wasn't an intention to actually form a big band or anything. There was just the idea of hey, why not find a NEW shared hobby? And music came up as a really good contender. Boy had a history in music, Dodo had been in the same class and knew how to play guitar, and Engel had recently gotten into poetry and was really into indie bands as is. Peppermint didn't really have any footing in the idea herself, but with literally nothing else to do and with thoughts that DESPERATELY needed to be put somewhere, she decided fuck it, why NOT learn to play bass? So she just learned to play bass and hyperfocused on it for like a year straight and wow, would you look at that, now they're playing covers in Boy's uncle's warehouse and hey what if we just made our own songs i have some ideas and hey what if we went out to play some gigs just for funsies??? And--

whoops. So they released an album, and COMPLETELY UNEXPECTEDLY the band just blew up. Like absolutely blew up, because turns out that feeling like you want to set yourself on fire and die forever and whatever the hell Engel was putting in those lyrics REALLY resonates with teens. So completely out of left field, Deep Sea Dead Zone was now a pretty big thing and they were getting requests to play at fests all over Inkopolis, and to do interviews, and whatever the hell else. And nobody was really expecting any of it. Peppermint sure as hell wasn't complaining, because it completely took her mind away from moping about where her life was going and now she could, AGAIN, just have a great time with her friends - which had always been like her #1 priority ever since she had that option.

So like that was going really well for a while, up until 2019 and the FinalFest. You see, Dodo really didn't like the spotlight and when the band just kept getting bigger, he was getting less and less comfortable with it all the while trying to focus on his own life and career. So he just kinda left at one point, which. Well, that completely decimated the band, because NOW THEY DON'T HAVE A GUITARIST, and they don't just want ANY old guitarist to take up the spot because then the band isn't personal anymore. So the band gets put on involuntary standby, Engel gets clinically depressed, Peppermint gets REALLY MAD because Dodo is such a motherfucker and if he ever shows his face again he's not GOING TO have a face left, and Boy was just kind of disappointed. So. That was fun.

But going forward from there, she was focusing a bit more on what to do with her life - mostly babysitting her neighbors' kids at Urchin Underpass. She's famously always been SUPER popular with kids, both because she's really fun to be around, and also very fun to climb. She doesn't know what the heck to do for a career STILL, she's doing dead-end jobs that bring her no joy but bring in enough money to pay rent, and band fame is actually cool enough that she is getting modeling work for some gear brands (doubly good when some of them know she was a big shot in the Turf scene just a few years back, but times move fast in those scenes). Maybe the most important thing is that she'd accidentally reconnected with Amber somewhere along the line. (Here's a crude drawing i've made to depict what happened):

(he had no idea despite accompanying Peppermint to MANY of their duels. bless his heart(s).)

Not going to go too deep into it, but with Peppermint having more time in her hands again, she ended up really pursuing getting to ACTUALLY KNOW Amber, and it seems like the feeling was mutual since they quickly became really close and then gfs. And time skipping to current day, they've actually both returned to Turf Wars pretty much just to have fun and take it WAY more easy. (Here)

As for what weapon Peppermint is using now... primarily the Splat Roller, returning to her roots. Though instead of an aggressive playstyle, she's slightly more interested in playing support for Amber instead, what with supplying Big Bubblers and watching her back. She does own a new model of the Range Blaster now, though, so she has that option - Amber got her one.

That being said though Peppermint hasn't exactly had an easy few years behind her. She did recently have a Kraken mishap that ended up netting her a criminal record, so there's that. To say that she was devastated about it would be an understatement, she cut her both tentacles off to deal with the aftermath. Which is kind of a big deal for anyone who knows her well enough to know that even though her tentacles have mostly brought her difficulty in her life, she has always been really proud of them and especially the claws and puts a lot of effort into making sure they look as nice as possible! So, it took her well over a year to recover from... the incident.

(You can read about it here, and see a follow-up comic here : Page1, Page2, Page3 & Page4. Maybe)

So basically she's got a lot going on. Recently, she's been doing alright. She accompanied Amber on a trip to Splatsville last summer, and they ended up playing in the Rock Paper Scissors Splatfest for the first time since... well, since a LONG while ago. Amber went to take a detour and some well-deserved vacationing time from her job, instead wanting to focus on finding cool human junk in the Splatlands, and Peppermint tagged along because honestly she didn't have anything better to do in Inkopolis and some fresh air is SOLELY NEEDED. It turned out to be pretty much the best decision she's made this decade (which isn't saying a lot, it's only 2023) but regardless. She even had a job for a while at a local salmon restaurant, which she initially thought was horrible and gruesome, but she got some money and some experience that she could use to try and find a new job... like MAYBE try to score a place at her stepdad's sushi restaurant back home, or something. Wishful thinking maybe.

Anyway, despite all the bullshit that she's been through in the last decade, 2023 has actually been going pretty well for her so far. Her and Amber are back in Inkopolis, there's been some big changes to her life recently, she's back to playing Turf Wars casually and it's a huge weight off her chest just to be ABLE TO DO THAT, and most importantly - Deep Sea Dead Zone is coming back. And that's huge for her, because honestly again, it's nice to have something personal to work towards that means a lot to you, and sharing that joy with friends is literally the best. (Even though there's an increasing number of people who want to date her, and that's really awkward because she's already dating someone, and also most of those people are men which she wasn't interested in in the first place.)

And here is the first sample from their comeback.

Honestly that's got to be the end of this post because I probably spent two hours writing it. Which is way too long and MUCH LESS would've sufficed.

#mailbox #dodo ocs #but thanks for the ask. JESUS CHRIST IS THIS LONG.#deep sea dead zone #blue team

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