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hopesworlld · 2 months

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౨ৎ daddy's home, home for me

౨ৎ 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 — step!dad anakin x fem!reader

౨ৎ 𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 — your period sucks, but your stepdad anakin knows a way he can help you

౨ৎ 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 — 2k

౨ৎ 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 — swearing, stepcest, power imbalance, swearing, smut ( thigh riding, daddy kink, mentions of blow jobs ), think that's all let me know if i missed anything !

౨ৎ 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸𝘀 ! — on my period and wanna die so wrote this as a self indulgent need for comfort from daddy anakin

masterlist

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a pained hiss fell from your lips as you rolled over in bed, hand clutching your stomach as cramps racked your frame. you had come on the night before and had woken up feeling worse than the day before, your entire body felt stiff and achy, your back and uterus throbbing and you felt horribly nauseous. you hated it so much, tears welling in your eyes as you dragged yourself upwards grabbing the lukewarm water from your bedside table and taking a swig, gagging at the taste. you knew you would have to go downstairs, facing the trek from your bedroom to the kitchen to get supplies, you were desperate for some fresh water, medicine, and a hot water bottle but your body protested as you shoved the sheets off of your body, exposing yourself to the cool morning air.

you shuddered against the cold, nipples hardening and goosebumps rising on your arms so you tugged a soft blanket around your shoulders and stood up wincing as pain shot up your spine, tears glistening in your eyes as you slowly headed out of your room, arms wrapped around your stomach. the house was silent so your mother and anakin must already be at work, you pouted at this, wishing your mother was here to look after you. you had always gotten bad periods from the day you had started as only a preteen, practically bedridden when it would hit with no serious explanation for it. so you wandered to the kitchen, immediately grabbing some pills from the medicine cabinet and pouring yourself a glass of water, you were trembling as you swallowed the pills, so exhausted and sore that you wanted to curl in a ball and never get up again. then you turned to the kettle ready to flick it on when you noticed you had forgotten your hot water bottle.

“no,” you cried out, instantly tears dripping down your cheeks. you knew it was ridiculous to be crying over this, but when another cramp pulsed through your body you couldn’t help it, so that's where you stood, sobbing in the kitchen when another voice suddenly cut through the otherwise silent room.

“hey sweetheart, i didn’t think you were gonna be up yet,” anakin’s cheery voice sang as he rounded the corner only to see you, body draped in a fluffy pink blanket with crystalline tears dripping down your rosy cheeks, “what happened, baby?” he gasped, crossing the room in a matter of seconds and cupping the base of your neck, tilting your face so that you were looking up at him with glossy doe eyes, “are you hurt? tell me what's going on,” he pleaded with you and another sob tore from your lips.

“i left my hot water bottle upstairs,” you told him, shame coating your tone as you drag your fingers across your face to rid you of the sticky tears that stained your face, but a fresh round almost immediately replaced them.

“oh, sweetheart,” anakin cooed, his voice impossibly soft as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a gentle embrace. you sank into it, snuggling into his big chest while he peppered the top of your head with kisses, “you come on, huh?” he asked you and you nodded against his chest.

“i just feel like shit already and then i forgot my hot water bottle and i just…” you shook your head, shame-faced faced as you pulled away biting down on your bottom lip, “i’m sorry i’m being silly, i know it's not that big of a deal,”

“don’t say that baby, you aren’t being silly, just feeling very sensitive right now aren’t you,” anakin said with a sympathetic smile, “why don’t you go get comfy and lay down on the sofa and i’ll grab your hot water bottle for you and make you some tea?” he offered and you melted, looking up at him with stars in your eyes.

“really?” you all but sang and anakin’s face was so impossibly soft as he reached out and patted your cheek.

“yes, baby, go on now,” he said and you did as you were told, hopping onto the sofa and burying yourself beneath your blanket, and flicking on the tv choosing to watch an old rerun of friends while you waited for anakin to come back, he took a few minutes, you heard him jog up the stairs and reappear a few moments later and head straight to the kitchen, the familiar hum of the kettle soothing you as your eyes fluttered shut.

you had met anakin when you were sixteen, he had moved in that same year after only dating your mother for a couple weeks, you never really knew why they were together seeing as they hardly seemed to talk and anakin would spend most nights on the sofa instead of in bed with her, but you didn’t bring it up, your mothers silence in the house was enough to stop you. but you loved anakin, from the moment you had met him he couldn’t do enough for you, if it was help with homework, dropping you places to see your friends, taking you shopping or even braiding your hair, anakin was there.

“hey, sweet girl, you still with me?” anakin’s soft voice broke you from your trail of thoughts, sluggishly opening your eyes and what a sight was held before you. anakin had your hot water bottle in one arm your teddy tucked beside it, a mug of tea in the other with a hoodie slung over his shoulder. “there are those pretty eyes,” he crooned, setting down the tea on the table, you flushed at his words, rosy cheeked as you blinked up at him.

“hi,” you say quietly, groaning when another jolt of pain scrambled your insides.

“poor baby,” he said sadly, “here sit up for me okay sweet girl, gonna get you comfortable and then you can relax properly,” anakin told you, carefully you pushed yourself into a sitting position but reamined still, anakin peeled the blanket from your shoulders and instead pulled the hoodie over your head, you giggled when your head popped through hair clinging to your face and anakin smiled endearingly before helping you thread your arms through the fabric, it was one of his, you could tell by the smell, a mix of smoke, oil and sandalwood.

“cute,” he remarked once you were comfortably within the oversized jumper. he then placed the hot waterbottle on your stomach, gently dipping it bellow the waist of your shorts so that it sat over your aching womb, you shuddered at the feeling of his cold fingers brushing against your sensitive skin. “okay, you can lie back now, baby,” he prompted grasping your shoulder and pushing you back into the crevice of the sofa and tucking your blanket around you before handing you your teddy.

“thanks ani,” you said, “do you think you could stay with me for a bit,” you then asked tentatively, “you don’t have to if you are busy though,” you rushed out but anakin was already slipping down beside you, slinging an arm around your shoulder and pulling you to his chest.

“i’ll stay as long as you need me too, baby,” he said pressing a kiss to your forehead and you sank into him, completely and utterly blissed as the medicine began to kick in with the help of the warmth of the hot waterbottle and anakin’s body against yours.

you didn’t know when you fell asleep but when you awoke you were greeted with a sharp pain that swelled in your uterus and rippled along your entire spine, a gasp tore from your lips as you jolted upwards, clutching at your stomach, a soothing hand ran down your back, bringing you down slightly.

“oh, sweetheart,” anakin murmured, “you’re okay,” he said bringing you back to him, you whimpered into his shoulder, fat tears streaming down your cheeks.

“it really hurts, ani,” you cried.

“i’m so sorry, sweet girl, wish i could make it go away,” he consoled you voice heavy, “here, let me rub your stomach for you okay, read that it helps,” he said, hand slipping to your lower stomach, gently massaging the throbbing pain, at first it seemed to hurt more and you jolted in his hold, but then suddenly the pressure began to unwind and a small breathy sigh fell from your lips.

“oh,” you whispered, pressing your hips upwards accidentally pushing his fingers lower so that they brushed against your clit slightly, you gasped as anakin froze, “i’m sorry i…” you began to say, ready to scramble away from the man and shut yourself away in your bedroom, but anakin stopped you.

“it’s okay, baby,” he said, though he sounded strained, a little distant, “i wanna help you, will you let me?” he asked you.

“well, yes but ani i…” you began to say but anakin cut you off.

“don’t panic, your body knows what you need, baby and i’m gonna give it to you, why don’t you come sit on my lap, pretty girl,” you blanched at him, stunned by his words, you and anakin had always been close, closer than most people were with their stepfathers you had observed, but what was he offering you right now? was it really what you thought it was?

“ani, i don’t know if i should,” you mumbled bashfully and the man grinned widely.

“it’s okay, baby, just wanna help you out, make you feel good,” he murmured, “will you let me?” and you knew you should say no, to call your mother and tell her what her husband was saying to you, but a sick feeling of need flooded your core, hot and intense, it pushed away the aching and replaced it with a new feeling of longing, and anakin, your anakin who held your hand when you went on walks, and played with your hair when you couldn’t sleep. you needed him.

“please,” you said, words hardly ever a whisper and then anakin was tugging you up, you were airborne for just a moment before he seated you comfortably on his thigh.

“i want you to ride my thigh, angel,” he told you, “take what you need, okay?” he said and your cheeks flammed red.

“i’ve never…” you didn’t have to finish the sentence he already knew what you meant and a long groan fell from his lips.

“that’s okay, baby, i’ll help you,” he said, big hands grasping your hips and rolling them over his thigh, the feeling was immediate, the delicious roll of fabric against your clothed clit instantly drew sounds from your lips, you had never felt anything like this before, your entire body singing as you rocked against his thigh, a fog dancing in your brain that made you feel dizzy.

“ani, oh my god,” you gasped, consumed by unexpected pleasure that was setting alight in your veins.

“feel good, sweet girl?” anakin asked you, watching your pretty face screw up with pleasure as he began to bounce his leg slightly.

“so good,” you replied, beginning to roll your hips faster, though anakin’s hands remained in place, holding you seedy as you rocked against him, eyes falling shut.

“such a good girl taking what you need, getting off on my thigh, fuck, you look so good right now,” he praised and you shuddered at his words, tension in your stomach growing tighter.

“really?” you whispered, “feel gross,” you admitted.

“look at me,baby,” anakin told you but you ignored him, “look at me,” he commanded, voice harsher this time and you couldn’t ignore it, you met his eyes, the pretty blue turned dark as he watched you pleasure yourself against him.

“you are fucking gorgeous, angel, never seen anyone so beautiful,” he said, cupping your cheek and pulling you into a searing kiss, you gasped into it allowing anakin to slip his tongue into your mouth, exploring every inch and crevice of your mouth. he locked you in that kiss, holding you in place as he began to bounce his leg faster.

“ani,” you whimpered, his lips bruising against you.

“come on, baby, show daddy how good you are feeling,” he crooned, that name falling from his lips was utterly sinful, and it sent a heavy jolt straight down to your core. you jerked violently, clit throbbing as you ground down on him harder.

“oh, ani, please,” you begged even though you weren't exactly sure what you wanted, you just needed him, everywhere. you longed to feel his fingers toying with your swollen clit, cock ramming into your sopping cunt.

“that’s it, baby, you close? i can feel you clenching around my thigh,” he said and you nodded sweat was pooling around your collarbones and beading around your hairline, you were so hot, addicted to this new feeling that had taken over the aches and pains that had haunted you before. clumsily you tugged at anakin’s hoodie, yanking it over your head and tossing it to the side, the tug of fabric lifting your top beneath flashing anakin a glance of your perky tits bouncing in time with his movements and he growled. “look at these pretty fucking things,” he hissed grabbing your tits with a harsh grip, rolling your nipples between his fingers.

“daddy,” you cried at the stimulation and anakin grinned.

“that’s it, baby, being so good for, daddy,” he told you, you could feel yourself growing close, that glowing fire in your stomach burning brighter. “want you to come for me, can you do that for me, pretty girl? show me that gorgeous face when you cum?”

“yes, yes gonna cum, please, please,” you begged, anakin moved his hands back down to your hips, dragging you along his thigh in such a manner that it drew a scream from you, the pressure of your clit against his jeans sending you spiraling. that coiling thing in your stomach bursting and you were gone, the world turned on its axis, crying out as you finally hit that peak you had been craving, you felt boneless, collapsing onto anakin’s waiting chest, he wrapped his arms around you, holding you close as you came down from the after shocks of your orgasm, he continued to bounce his thigh until you were sobbing.

“you did so good for me, sweetheart, how you feeling?” he asked you gently.

“so good,” you whispered, curling into him completely at ease.

“yea? well anytime you need this i’m here for you okay, baby? always gonna take care of you,” he said tangling his hands into your hair, you let out a shaky breath.

“just this… or can we do other things sometimes?” you questioned, shame coating your tone, desperate little girl begging to fuck her stepfather, what a cliche, anakin groaned at this, shifting his hips slightly and you felt it, his hard cock pressing against your stomach, your mouth watered.

“oh, baby, we can do whatever you want,” he murmured, lips pressed to your ear.

“anything?” you asked, hand drifting down to rest over his hard cock and anakin let out a shakey breath.

“yes, but don’t worry about me right now, angel, want you to rest and feel better and then…” he trailed off a little unsurely tilting your head so that you would face him and he saw that look in your eyes, needy and desperate for him, “then you can have my cock anytime you want it, angel girl” you grinned at this.

“okay,” you agreed, a heavy veil of tiredness falling over you, “daddy, kiss me,” you pleaded and anakin was more than happy to oblige to your plea, because this was anakin, the man who loved you entirely and gave you whatever your little heart desired, even himself.

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stepdad!anakin has my heart whoops, think i’m gonna have to write more of him,,,

#hopes fics !#anakin skywalker smut #anakin skywalker fanfiction #anakin smut #star wars anakin #anakin skywalker #anakin x reader #stepdad!anakin #anakin modern au #anakin #hayden christensen #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker x you #star wars #star wars fanfiction #darth vader x reader #anakin x you #james kelly

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morgana-larkin · 10 days

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Prompt where r is a sub in Abbott who's head over heels for Melissa. She doesn't have the nerve to admit it let alone talk to Mel without being a stuttering and flustered mess. Barb noticed it as well as the other teachers but they leave the sub for the silly crush she's harboring with the redhead thinking it's cute to see such thing like that in the school . Yet Ava, who's like have eyes everywhere teases her about it. Melissa on the other hand is clueless and joined the teasing one day not knowing it was actually about her and the sub, who became absolutely embarrassed at that point and left the break room quickly. All eyes are on Melissa, Barb + crew was like questioning her if she means the teasing or she was just blind and clueless.

So this fic got way out of hand, I thought it was gonna be a cute 2k word one then I look when I’m finished and there’s 4.5k words. Whoops. I really thought this prompt was funny and cute and hope I did it justice. I’m sorry it sat for like 2 weeks while I did all the other fics but I finally got to it. Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!

On another note: I’m getting to all your prompts! If you wrote one then I will write a fic for it. I don’t delete them so don’t worry, it’s coming! I also didn’t expect to name it with the one I went with to describe it but oh well

Clueless Teasing

Warnings: Smut, I think one swear word and a shit ton of fluff

Words: 4.5k

You walk in through the doors of Abbott Elementary. It’s your first day as a substitute teacher at this school and you were beyond excited. They told you they’ll need you until the end of the school year which is in 6 months and they told you you’re filling in for Janine Teagues.

You walk into the office to get your temporary badge and classroom key. As you walk out you run into someone causing you to drop both things and the other person dropping a folder. You immediately bend down to pick up your things and the folder for the other person and stand back.

“Sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going-” whatever you were going to say next was cut off when you looked at the person and got distracted by her. Luckily for you, where you finished seemed like the end of your sentence and the woman smiled as she grabbed the folder from you.

“It’s alright hon, happens to the best of us.” She says and looks at your badge. “New teacher?” She asks.

“No no, um new sub. Filing in for a teacher called Janine Teagues.” You tell her and smiles.

“Did you happen to be shown where her classroom is?” She asks and you mentally facepalm.

“Um no, I- I didn’t.” You tell her.

“That’s alright, if you want I just have to drop this off and I can show you. The classroom is across from mine. I teach second grade as well.” She tells you and you smile.

“I would love that, thank you so much…” you say and try to read her badge but got distracted by her chest.

“Schemmenti.” She says and you look back up. “Melissa Schemmenti.” She tells you and you blink, of course she has a beautiful name, fits her beautiful face.

“That’s a lovely name.” You tell her and she sticks her hand out to shake. “I’m-I’m…” you start to introduce herself but short circuited when you shook her hand, it feels so soft.

“You’re…?” She asks and pulls her hand back.

“Oh right my name is Y/n Y/l/n.” You tell her and she smiles.

“That’s a lovely name too. I’ll just go drop these off and then I’ll show you the classroom. I’ll be right back.” She tells you and you nod. She goes into the office and 10 seconds later someone comes up to you.

“Hi, are you a new teacher?” He asks you.

“New sub.” You tell him.

“Oh amazing! I’m Jacob Hill.” He says and brings out a hand for you to shake.

“Y/n y/l/n.” You tell him. “I’m subbing for Janine Teagues.”

“Oh cool, I was good friends with her. She’s a temp at the district right now.” He tells you and you nod. Just then Melissa comes out and sees Jacob there.

“Jacob, are you trying to scare the newbie away? I thought that was more Janine’s thing.” She tells him.

“Well someone has to fill in for her.” He jokes back and she snorts.

“Come on kid, I’ll show you to her classroom.” She tells you and you wave goodbye to Jacob.

You walk down the hall with her and can’t help but feel mesmerised by her.

“So how long are you subbing for?” She asks you and you shake yourself out of your trance.

“Um um 6 months.” You tell her, cringing as you forgot how to speak for a second.

“Are you ok? You seem nervous.” She asks you.

“Ya I’m fine, a little nervous. New place and people.” You tell her and she nods.

“Understandable.” She says and then she stops. “So this is the classroom.” She says and nods her head to the side to the room. She then turns slightly and points to a class down the hall. “And that’s where mine is. Have any questions just feel free to ask. And another teacher, Gregory Eddie, his classroom is just right here.” Melissa points to the classroom just right next to yours. “Him and Janine are close so he can answer questions too.” She tells you and you nod.

“Thank you so much Ms Schemmenti.” You tell her and she waves you off.

“Oh please, call me Melissa. I normally don’t let newbies call me by my first name but you seem ok.” She tells you and you blush.

The morning goes by quickly and before you know it, it’s lunch time. You get the kids lined up and you begin to walk out and to the cafeteria when you have no idea where it is. You were about to ask the kids when Melissa walks by with her class and sees you don’t know where to go.

“Hey newbie, just follow me.” She tells you with a wink and you blush again.

“Thanks Melissa.” You tell her and you follow her to the cafeteria. You both drop off your classes and then she goes to walk out.

“Did you bring a lunch today newbie?” She asks you and you nod.

“It’s in the classroom.” You tell her and she nods.

“How about you bring it to the break room and come meet some more teachers?” She says and you nod.

“Ok, although I have no idea where it is.” You tell her and she giggles.

“I’ll bring you there, let’s go get your lunch.” She tells you and starts walking to your classroom and you sprint after her. For someone wearing heels, she’s sure fast.

She brings you to the break room and you see Jacob there with Gregory. You met both of them briefly today. You see a few other teachers chatting in a corner. You see another teacher at a table that Melissa goes to sit with.

You go to sit at an empty table but then Melissa stops you. “Newbie, come sit with us.” She tells you and you blush then sit down in the empty chair at her table. “This is Barb, she teaches Kindergarten.” She introduces her friend to you.

“Hi Barb, nice to meet you. I’m y/n y/l/n. I’m subbing for Janine Teagues.” You tell her and she smiles.

“Nice to meet you dear. I see Melissa has taken an interest in you.” She tells you and you blush.

“Oh I’m just lost so she’s been nice to me and showing me around.” You tell her.

“Ya like I said, she’s taken an interest in you, she doesn’t do that for anyone.” Barb tells her and Melissa rolls her eyes.

“You’re making me seem like a bad person.” Melissa complains and Barb chuckles.

“Not bad, just antisocial.” Barb responds.

“Well whatever it is, I just really appreciate your help. And if there’s any way to thank you then let me know.” You tell her and she smiles at you. That smile will be the death of you, you just know it.

Over the next month, you’ve been fitting in well and getting to know around the school, and the students seem to like you. You have Melissa to thank for the support and guidance. Your crush for Melissa has just grown more and more as she does seem to take a liking to you. You think that your crush has grown more into love though and you’re not sure how to act around her most of the time, or what to say. Most of the time when you talk to her, all that comes out is something that makes you seem like you have a loose circuit or wire, and you sometimes don’t understand what you say.

One day was really bad though as Melissa accidentally got pushed in a busy hallway and got pushed into you against a wall. You looked at each other and your lips were centimetres away from each other, if she didn’t pull away then you might have kissed her right then and there.

“Sorry kid, busy hallway.” She said as she pulled back. “Kids don’t watch where they’re going most of the time.” She told you.

“Oh.” You squeaked out and you clear your throat. “Oh, it’s alright, um ya. It’s alright.” You tell her and she looks at you confused and you want to bolt out of there but you can’t with all the kids in the way so you just start walking.

All the other teachers seemed to notice how you act around Melissa and they know it’s a crush. They don’t say anything though, since it’s none of their business and having fun watching you try to keep it together. The only one who doesn’t know is Melissa, and you want to keep it that way. But of course Ava happened.

Ava has been watching you on her cameras for awhile now ever since the incident in the hallway that happened during your second week here. She’s having fun watching you try to be a human being around Melissa and failing. After 6 weeks of watching this, she decides to do something about it,

So one day you were all in the break room while Janine was visiting everyone again, she seems to pop in once a week, she’s met you and seems to like you as well. Anyway, Ava comes waltzing in like she always does and looks at you with mischief in her eyes.

“So y/n.” She starts and you look at her confused as she walks to the coffee machine. “I know who you have a crush on.” She teases you and your cheeks go red. Melissa looks at Ava then at you.

“Do you have a crush on a girl y/n?” She asks you and you don’t answer, you just take a sip of your coffee.

“Oh she sure does. And she seems to not know how to act around her. Stuttering and becoming flustered, trying to be a human being and failing, miserably.” Ava continues on and you wish the ground would swallow you whole. And worst of all it seems Melissa is finding this amusing, as she begins laughing at what Ava is saying.

“Oh, I would like to see you around this girl, see you apparently fail at being a human being.” Melissa teases you. Your cheeks go red and you get so embarrassed that you sprint out of the break room and to your classroom.

Once you get to your classroom you close and lock the door and then just sit in your chair and sulk.

Back in the break room everyone looks at Melissa. “What?” Melissa says as she notices everyone staring at her.

“Why were you teasing her about her crush?” Jacob asks her.

“Because it sounded funny.” Melissa says like it’s obvious.

“Do you even know who her crush is?” Barb asks and Melissa shakes her head.

“No, she hasn’t told me, why? Has she told you guys?”

“She doesn’t need to tell us when it’s obvious.” Janine says and Melissa looks at everyone and she’s lost in what everyone else seems to know.

“Girl, how blind are you? You seem completely clueless to what’s really obvious.” Ava states and Melissa frowns.

“Ya like even though I’m not always good at reading people, it’s obvious to me as well.” Gregory says and Melissa looks at all of them confused.

“So it’s a teacher then?” She starts and they all nod.

“And someone you know extremely well too.” Barb says and Melissa is taken aback by this.

“But everyone I know well is in this room, and y/n is only interested in women.” Melissa says and everyone looks at her to see if she’ll figure it out. Melissa still looks completely lost, like something isn’t clicking like it has for everyone else.

“This is getting hard to watch.” Ava says and she almost blurts it out right there.

“Melissa dear, you know y/n, she’s told you what type of women she’s interested in. I know she has because I was there when she has.” Barb says and Melissa thinks about it.

“Well ya, she says she likes older redhe-” and that realisation stops her dead in her tracks. “I’m an older redhead.” She says and everyone smirks. “And I’m in this room.” She says and puts it all together and thinks about all your interactions. “OH FUCK.” She says and runs out of the room to go searching for you.

“Honestly if she didn’t figure it out right there then I would have just told her.” Ava says and everyone glares at her. “What? I didn’t though.” She says and Barb shakes her head at her.

Melissa walks down the hallway and decides to look at your classroom first and sees the closed door. She goes to open it and sees that it’s locked so she knocks on it.

“Y/n? It’s Melissa, are you in there hon?” She asks and doesn’t hear anything. She asks again but is still met with silence so she assumes you’re not in there and goes to check other places.

In your classroom you heard her both times but chose to stay quiet, you just want to be left alone right now.

Melissa is getting worried, she’s checked everywhere you could be but can’t find you, she texts you again but no reply.

Melissa: Hey hon, I wanted to talk to you about something, where are you?

Melissa: I wanted to apologise for what happened in the break room.

Melissa: I’m trying to find you but don’t know where you are?

Melissa: Hon, I’m getting worried, can you reply back to me please?

Melissa: Can you at least tell me that you’re ok?

Melissa decides to just go to her classroom and talk to you at the end of the day. When the bell rings she sees your door wide open and you welcoming back your students from lunch. She sighs as she thinks about what everyone told her at lunch and looks at you longingly. Barb and Gregory see her look at you and they shake their heads.

Melissa’s heart breaks a little, you have a crush on her and she never notices any of the signs, and she teased you about it to the point that you got embarrassed and left. She’s thought about her feelings for you many times, she remembers you telling her your type but she didn’t have any feelings for you at that point and didn’t think much about it. How long have you had feelings for her? Cause she hasn’t seen you act very differently from the first time you’ve met. And that’s when it clicks, you’ve been interested in her since the start and she mentally facepalms.

At the end of the day, Melissa says goodbye to all her students as they’re getting picked up or walking to their school bus. When her last student leaves she sees you locking your door to leave. So she runs in to grab her things, locks her door and bolts to you. She makes it to the parking lot and sees you pulling out and she sighs.

The next day, you come in and when you get to your classroom you see it’s already open and Melissa is spinning a little in your chair.

“Hey hon.” She says casually and you freeze.

“Um h-hi Melissa.” You say and she smiles. She motions for you to come closer and you close your door and walk to your desk as she stands up. You sit down at the chair and Melissa is sitting on your desk. Feet dangling on both sides of you when you sit in the chair.

“I wanted to apologise for what happened in the break room yesterday. Ava and I shouldn’t have teased you.” She starts and you sigh. You didn’t really want to be talking about this, you just wanted to forget about it, finish out your 4 months and then hope to get placed somewhere else.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. Just forget it happened.” You tell her and she tilts her head at you. You get up to go and get something at the other end of your classroom but Melissa straightens her legs out and puts them up, effectively trapping you. “Uh, Melissa, do you mind? I need to go get something.” You tell her but she doesn’t move.

“When were you going to tell me you have a crush on me?” She asks and your face pales.

“What?” You ask, very nervous now.

“When were you going to tell me you have a crush on me?” She repeats and you don’t say anything. “Were you ever going to tell me?” She asks and you shake your head. “So you were just going to finish up your 4 months and what? Just leave?” She asks and her voice breaks a bit at the end. You nod your head in response to her question and she sighs. “Why weren’t you going to tell me?”

“Because everyone I’ve ever had a crush on never likes me back so now I just keep quiet instead of making a fool out of myself.” You tell her and she puts her feet down. You go to move but she grabs your arm and pulls you to her.

“Oh hon, that’s no way to be. I mean if you never told me and just left then you would have never known that I like you back.” She says and you short circuit.

“Like me back?” You question and she nods.

“Ya, I like you as well you goof.” She says with a smile. You still look at her confused and she rolls her eyes. She then pulls you closer to her and kisses you. Your brain catches up with what’s going on after a second and then you kiss her back. Melissa lets go of your arms and you move a hand up to grab her hair while she puts her hands on your hips. You both pull back for air and you stare at each other.

“How did you find out?” You ask her and she blushes a bit.

“After you left yesterday, everyone sort of helped me figure it out. They all knew except me, go figure that out.” She jokes and you giggle.

“Ya I thought you were the smart one of the group.” You tease her and she huffs at you.

“You’re a little shit, you know that?” She says and you nod. She smiles then just pulls you back and kisses you again. You move your hands from her hair to her cheeks, then to her arms, then back up to her hair. Just trying to touch everywhere you could. While Melissa sneaks a touch and finds the skin under your shirt and places her hands there. You don’t seem to mind so she risks it and keeps trailing her hands up to the front of your chest and you still don’t stop her, even when she’s about to cup your breasts through your bra. You realise that you want her to touch you, you want her to unclip your bra and make you moan and you don’t want to stop. Melissa puts her hands on your bra and squeezes a bit and you moan. You still don’t stop the kiss and she moves her hands to your back to your bra clip and she undos it. She sees that you still don’t stop her so she moves her hands back and puts her hands underneath your bra, right on your breasts and she starts playing with them. You gasp this time and Melissa takes the opportunity to stick her tongue in your mouth and taste you. Melissa wraps her legs around your waist and pulls you closer to her.

You both pull away to breathe and you see how blown her pupils are and see the lust written all over her face. Her brain remembers where you both are for a second and she leans in to you. “If you want to do this now then I suggest you lock the door.” She says huskily in your ear and you shiver a bit. You then register what she says and you run to lock your door as she closes a few of your curtains. Just the ones where someone would be able to see you both.

You walk towards her as she’s leaning against the window sill, all sexy like you think and you smile. Once you reach her, she puts her hands on your hips and spins you around so that you’re against the window sill. She likes to take charge, you think, and you smile at that. You’ll let her take charge of you whenever she wants. You put your hands under her shirt and bring them up and to her back to unclip her bra and she lets you. You then snake them around to the front and you slide them under and feel her big full breasts and you moan and she pulls back. “You like my breasts hon?” She asks with a smile and you nod. She then takes her shirt and bra off for you to look at her chest without clothing in the way and your eyes widen. She then goes to take your shirt and bra off and you let her. She looks at your chest and she smiles. “So beautiful.” She says and you blush. She goes and sucks on your neck while you keep your hands on her breasts. You want to keep your hands on her breasts, I mean it’s not like you’ve been staring at them for 2 months with all her low cut shirts she likes to wear.

She moves from your neck to your nipples and you moan and this time you have to move your hands to the window sill or else you’d fall down right there. She presses her body up right against you when she pulls back from your nipples and kisses your lips, she snakes her hand down your pants and your underwear and finds you clit fast and rubs it. It’s a good thing she’s helping to keep you up or else you’d let gravity do its thing right there and fall. You also think it’s good she’s kissing you as you’d probably be loud enough for someone to hear.

“Keep quiet hon.” She tells you as she pulls back and then slides down your body and pulls your pants down and only has the patience to take them off one leg before spreading your legs. She then gets an idea as the floor here will hurt her legs. She goes back up and lifts you to sit on the window sill and spreads your legs that way, then dives down to your pussy and starts licking it like crazy. You bite your lip and do your best to keep quiet but her tongue is doing wonders on you and you let a few moans escape. She brings one hand up to your mouth and covers it with her hand. She then moves to your clit and tells you to suck on her finger, so you let her stick a finger in your mouth as she sticks another in your entrance and you suck on her finger instead of letting out noises.

She starts licking your clit with her tongue while fingering you and you keep quiet as best you could but she’s really good at what she’s doing. You let a couple of muffled noises escape so she pulls her tongue away and replaces it with her thumb. She pulls her finger out of your mouth and replaces it with her lips and tongue. You kiss her back and that gets you to keep quiet. You lean forward to kiss her too much at one point and end up falling off the window sill and on to her. With her fast reflexes she catches you and neither of you fall down but it does make her back up all the way to your desk. She turns you both around so you're against your desk and continues fingering you. You then realise someone could see you through one of the windows if they look and you push her backwards back to window. She gets the hint and allows it but still continues to finger you and you stop walking. She smirks and then picks you up and brings you the rest of the way. You’re close to an orgasm and Melissa realises as your legs start to shake and you’re breathing is faster. She rubs your clit faster and you come 5 seconds later, doesn’t stop though as she just keeps going.

You pull back from the kiss. “Mel- Melissa, please, it’s too much.” You tell her but make no other attempt to stop her.

“You can do it hon.” She tells you and you put your hand on her back and your mouth on her shoulder to have her closer and muffle your noises. You end up coming again and that’s when she pulls out. She helps keep you up for a few seconds and she licks her fingers and moans at your taste.

You help each other get dressed and fix your hair and reapply lip gloss. Anything to make sure you don’t look like you just fucked in your classroom.

“How about you come over to my place tonight? I’ll cook dinner and then we can continue what we started.” She says and you nod quickly. She giggles at your eagerness, gives your ass a playful slap, gives you a wink then walks out of your classroom. The bell is about to ring so you go to the door frame to greet your students as Barb walks by and looks at you.

“You might want to cover that hickey before Ava or your students notice.” She teases you and your cheeks go red.

“Wha-what hickey?” You stumble out and she chuckles. You take your phone out and put it on selfie mode and sure enough, there’s a hickey on your neck. You whip your head to Melissa and give her a glare. She just smirks at you and tries not to laugh and makes a heart shape with her hands to you. Barb sees the interaction and snorts and shakes her head.

“As happy as I am that you and Melissa got your heads out of your asses. Your students shouldn’t see this.” Barb tells you and ushers you in your classroom and quickly covers it with your makeup that you keep on you for emergencies. You never thought the emergency would be to cover up a hickey that Melissa gave you when you 2 had sex just before school but here you were. Barb quickly makes her way over to her classroom just in time for the bell to ring and you go and greet your students. You glance over at Melissa and she sends you a wink and you blush. You blow her an air kiss and she puts her hand over her heart.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

@imaginesmultifandoms

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Let me know if you want to be added!

#melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti x oc #melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti fanfic #melissa schemmenti #x reader #fanfic

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devnmon · 9 months

Text

Hidden Comforts (Under the Covers)

Summary: Winter in the prison keeps Daryl awake for days, and it seems his only solution for rest is seeking you out in the dead of night.

a/n: yep. it’s me, devnmon, writing yet another daryl fic after months of not writing. here’s one of my favorite trope(s), tweaked a bit for the likes of this fic: the one bed trope. lots of cute pining from both sides, shyness and uncertainty for the like of the masses. i hope u guys will survive as this is the softest shit i’ve ever fucking wrote. enjoy <3 [credit 2 cafekitsune for dividers]

warnings: none

wc: 2k

Windows froze solid shook against the wind and ice raining down from the sky, along with inches upon inches of snow to make the prison courtyard a white frontier. The only thing this kind of weather helped was depleting the amount of walkers around, ones who hadn’t frozen solid against a tree or upright in the ice.

Among the cold walls of the prison, a shiver of slight wind continuously fled through the building. There were god knows how many cracks in the foundation, windows that were void of panes, not to mention the ginormous hole in one of the halls that had been sealed off from the otherwise livable quarters. All the rebuilding of your home, yet the frigid temperatures persisted.

It was cold enough outside, your group couldn’t help the breeze finding its way in above all they’ve done to patch the place up. There was no way of setting a fire for just a smidge of warmth, either. So, the remaining members of your group were left to the clothes on their backs, and whatever they’d scavenged from the cells to help fend off the frozen temperatures.

Outside, the wind rapped against windows and a shiver ran through your body. You’d been hunched over in your cell, layers upon layers of clothing attempted to clothe yourself from the weather. It did nothing to help the cold from seeping to your core. Your teeth chittered against one another, a hand wrapping around the wool blanket from your mattress to cover your body with it.

From a distance, you heard footsteps down the hall. Probably just Rick or Daryl making their rounds in the cell blocks to see how everyone was holding up during the storm. It was hard for everyone, especially the new people taken in from Woodbury and Judith, Rick’s infant daughter, to deal with this discomfort of winter.

Thudding of feet on the stone flooring became louder minute by minute, knowing now that it had to be one of the two men, now, leaders of your group of survivors you called family. You weren’t as advanced as Daryl was with his tracking, so you really couldn’t tell which one of the men it was. Though, as the steps became louder, it came to your attention the distinct sound of heeled boots, as well as metal clinking on his belt. It was only a moment before you heard the sound of the sheet blocking your cell doorway being pulled back.

“Hey. How you holdin’ up?”

Hesitating on movement at first, you sighed, then turned toward the southern voice in the doorway. Rick stood in the hallway, hand on his hip, the other holding the curtain back.

“Hey, Rick. I’m... hanging in there… best I can. Not much I can do to change how fucking cold it is but… how’s everyone else doing?”

You hear him respond from the hall, “They’re managing. Carl was askin’ about you though, wanted to make sure you were okay. He’s spending the night with Judith.”

“Mm, okay. I’ll check in with him later… or tomorrow. Whenever I’m not freezing my ass off..” Chuckling, you shift the blanket tighter around you.

“Right, well don’t freeze to death tonight, ‘kay? We need you,” He says, beginning to drop the curtain until he pulls it back open and says, “Daryl was askin’ about you earlier.”

“Daryl was? What- what did he say?” You double blinked in surprise at such an idea.

You had just recently become close with him, but it would be a lie if you said you weren’t holding back some teeny tiny feelings for him. A teeny tiny crush that made being in the mere presence of him overwhelming. Your palms always began sweating whenever he got close to you, making your voice shake and train of thought lost in the way he held himself. Daryl was intimidating, but you knew he was kind, and even quite funny amidst the struggles he’s been through.

“Somethin’ about him not being able to sleep in this cold. Was wondering the same about you. He’ll probably be up all night...” Rick scratched the back of his head.

“Poor guy... I mean I thought he was a night owl, but I couldn’t imagine not being able to sleep at all.” You stated, concern for him growing.

“He’s had it rough. But I don’t think he’ll put his head down even if he got within an inch of being tired. Would you check on him if you get the chance?”

“Sure. You should go get some rest yourself. You definitely need it.”

“Yeah, I’ll try. Have a good night.” You smile at him this time as he drops the sheet fully this time, the clicking of his heeled boots drifting away.

What kept you awake for the next half hour was the thought of what went on behind those pretty eyes of his, always considering everyone around him while not thinking of himself at all. You sigh, I wish I could make things better for you. Show you how much love you deserve. Fuck…

You drift off after that, succumbing to fatigue that had your eyelids feeling a hundred pounds heavy.

A couple hours pass before slight stirring outside your small room catches your observant ear. It was far past midnight yet, late enough for everyone with a normal sleep schedule to be out like a light.

You lay in bed, eyes still closed, thinking, who the hell is up at this hour?

The footsteps fade to nothing, thinking whoever it was went back to sleep, perhaps to use the bathroom or something. Then you heard someone clear their throat from the hall, sounding right outside your sheet. It’s then your eyes shot open, peering over to the entrance of the room. You’re about to call out, but remember the dozens of sleeping individuals in the other cells. So you wait.

Sure enough, you hear a sigh still outside of your room, patiently waiting for some, if any, response.

You hear a faint call out of your name, given by someone with a low, surly voice. It takes a minute to register in your head as to who it was, and then you remember what Rick told you earlier.

“Daryl? That you?” Rubbing your eyes from sleep, you sit up.

“Yeah, ‘s me.” You hear his faint footsteps approach slowly, his silhouette painting a dark figure against the white of your sheet. His hand lifts it, peering in with curiosity.

“Come- come in. You don’t have to stay out there.” You state, waving him into the cell, noticing his poncho thrown over his usual leather jacket and shirt. When he’s fully in the room, you notice the dark circles lingering under his blues, proving Rick’s knowledge of the man was true.

“I didn’t wake ya, did I? Shit- couldn’t sleep. Been up forever.”

Shaking your head, you give a small smile, “No, don’t worry. I got some sleep but the cold wasn’t really helping.”

He nods, chewing the inner side of his lip.

“What’s up, Daryl?”

“I just- Ya know this weather, there ain’t a smidge of heat in this damn prison. No matter how many blankets I got.” He half chuckles, but you can tell it’s more of a scoff. Daryl’s wringing his hands within each other and pacing across the floor.

“I know, feels like I’m wearing ten layers of clothes just to not freeze to death. It’s fucking awful. Like I’ve never seen…” You stop for a moment, taking in his stressed state before he glances at you, “Uh.. never seen Georgia of all places have harsh snow like this. Lived here all my life and it’s never been this bad.”

“Yeah, me too. Except that was when we had electricity, and fuckin- road pavers or some shit. I don’t fuckin’ know.” Daryl picks up the chuckle you let out at his words, and you’re nodding when he looks over again.

“Hey, listen. It’s late and I know you didn’t come all the way from the perch to talk to me about the weather.. so really, what’s on your mind?”

Daryl’s pacing halts abruptly, knowing you can read him like a book. It feels as though his stomach turns inside out when he thinks about what he really wants to say. “I uh… I’ve been up for probably two, no, three days now, haven’t been able to sleep since the cold. And… fuck.“

“You know you can tell me anything.” He huffs out a breath and nods to himself, almost like he’d been trying to hype himself up for wanted, no, needed to say. His hesitation had already made you anxious and you wanted to pick his brain to ease all his worries. But you stayed silent and let him speak.

“Okay, listen. I’m damn freezing… and uh, I know you run warm. Like a damn furnace in the summer. But I was wonderin’ if… You wouldn’t mind if I… um, lay with ya?”

You hold off on responding for a moment as his words turn the gears in your head. Daryl wanted to… lay in bed? With you? Just the idea of his body that close to you made your hands sweat. Your eyes darted around swiftly, before you responded.

“Like, in- in my bed? With me?”

“Uh, yeah. Feels like that’s the only way I’m gonna be able to get some shuteye.” His eyebrows furrowed, and you noticed his fidgeting hands. Your silence made him immediately think it was a shit idea and he should’ve just kept it to himself. Should’ve just suffered through the fatigue and gone back to his perch. He began to realize you were about to deny him. What was he thinking?

“Daryl, this bed is not big enough for the two of us.” You chuckled playfully and watched his stern face drop.

“Oh, alrigh’. Sorry t’bother ya.” He began to turn his broad shoulders toward the door.

“But…”

He froze in his steps, turning back.

“Your warmth and rest is more important to me. So, get your ass over here.” A small smile formed on your tired face, painting the tips of his ears red. Daryl kicked off his shoes by the doorway and padded over to your bed. Once you moved to lay down on your side, you lay your head on the edge of your pillow, inviting him to share the blanket with you, your arm out in a welcoming embrace.

Daryl, still caught off guard with the fact that you were letting him be this close to you, kept his poncho on and crawled in next to you on the creaky mattress. He wasn’t surprised at the warmth radiating off you once he fully laid down next to you. The second he looked up at your face, the realization that your faces were inches away made his eyes widen.

“Glad you’re not one to shy away in close quarters..” You giggle, gazing at his facial features for the first time, and this is as close as the two of you have ever been. A corner of his mouth quirks upwards, the smallest inkling of a smile on his face.

“This tiny ass bed is somehow more comfy than mine. Maybe ‘cause you’re here..” You could tell Daryl’s fatigue was catching up with him, as his words slurred, and his eyes began to flutter closed. A piece of his hair falls in front of his eyes, and you move your hand up to move it from covering his eyelids. Once your fingertip ghosts over his face, he flinched, only slightly for a moment and remembered you’re there. He knows you’d never hurt him, leaning into your movement, his shoulders easing up their tightness.

“Shh.. get some rest. We’ll talk tomorrow.” Your voice is low and soft, it right about lulls him to sleep.

“M’kay, sunshine.” Daryl scoots in, pressing an inch or so closer to you. You don’t realize at first, but his right hand lays directly on top of yours. His warm hand caresses your palm, slightly moving your fingers to intertwine in his. You cup his cheek, and lightly press a kiss to his forehead. He grumbles to himself a bit more, till you sense he’s fallen asleep, allowing your eyes to flutter closed as well.

He's warm and familiar, safe and closer than ever. You wanted to breathe in the scent of his leather jacket and never let go.

Seems like you were just what he needed for a good night’s rest.

#daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon fanfiction #devnmonwrites #ryesff #the walking dead fanfiction #daryl dixon x you #daryl x you #daryl dixon x female reader #daryl dixon x y/n #daryl dixon

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koorminii · 2 years

Text

gold rush | bangchan (m)

“I don’t like that anyone would die to feel your touch, everybody wants you, everybody wonders what it would be like to love you.” Or, a lot of people love chan but he only loves you. He just wishes you could see that.

⇝ pairing: bangchan x f!reader ⇝ rating: 18+ (for the most part it’s pretty pg) ⇝ genre: childhood friends to lovers | angst | fluff | smut ⇝ word count: 10.6k :o ⇝ warnings: lots of pining, based off of gold rush by taylor swiftie, attempt to use metaphors, kinda angsty, also fluffy, chan is rlly popular, minor character death (not mentioned in detail), misunderstandings kinda? but they’re bearable, chan halfway confesses like three times, but you just don’t want to get your hopes up :(, changbin is kinda mean, self indulgent!!, romantic-ish smut (I tried), the smut is skippable it’s like a bonus part <3, blow jobs, pussy eating, kissing, unprotected sex (we know better), multiple orgasms, overstimulation, lovey dovey stuff, time jump, lmk if i’m missing anything

a/n: hi angels, <3 this is now my longest fic… I listened to evermore on wednesday and gold rush and tolerate it filled me with the most insane inspiration ever, so despite my four current wips i whipped this up and posted it in a day so if it shows… i’m so so sorry </3 I could’ve made this way better so let’s pretend I couldn’t have! I hope you like it! It’s way longer than I planned considering it was only supposed to be like 2k. I also added smut which I hadn’t planned on but I made it as soft as possible just to fit the overall vibe I was going for. I wrote this in like ??? 8 hours maybe?? and most of all this shit is self indulgent as fuck like… i’m so !???? i love chan

playlist: gold rush by taylor swift, tolerate it by taylor swift, sad beautiful tragic by taylor swift, she by harry styles (idk anywhere near enough good romantic songs to make a playlist and this is all i listened to as i wrote so… yea idk what’s up with me)

mlist | taglist | navi

When did you fall in love?

You think you could most likely tie it back to when Chan first came to town, brown curly hair falling over his eyes, a fuzzy orange sports headband on his head, and a permanent blush on his cheeks. Or, perhaps it was when he’d introduced himself to you, blond hair curling behind his ears as he stared you down, looking less youthful yet even more handsome. Or, maybe it was when he sat next to you in your freshman year of university, spreading his books along his desk, badgering you for one of your shiny pencils, and winking at you when class began.

Maybe it was after all of this. Maybe you still aren’t really in love, but the way your heart beats when he’s around, when he smooths his hands over your shoulders and tucks his head under your chin, makes you think that maybe you are.

It doesn’t matter though– and it never will. Everybody wants him. All you are is another face in the crowd, a friend to talk to when things get tough. You’re someone with whom his shoulder’s brush as he walks past– not someone who gets to feel the wonder of his embrace. The feel of his lips against your skin, the sweet words saved for his lover. That’s never been you.

The sun beams down on you, its rays glittering over the wooden benches of the park, reflecting off of streetlights and seeping in through the cracks of windows and doors. Your feet move leisurely along the street, and in your hand you cradle a warm latte. It’s the middle of September and occasionally sharp gusts of wind leave an air of frigidness over your skin. Your lashes flutter under the breeze, and despite the cold you’re content to saunter along campus. It’s still warm enough for you to leave your hands exposed without them falling victim to the biting chill of autumn, and it’s exactly what you need to distract your mind.

Each step you take allows the thoughts that have been plaguing you to fall away one by one until they are no more. You’re free to ignore them until you have to see Chan again in all his boyish charm and utter cluelessness. Your eyes shut momentarily as the image of him comes to the forefront of your mind, each crinkle in his eye as he smiles, his dimple, his laugh. It brings a familiar ache to your heart. One that can’t fall away with your steps nor with the frigid air. It is one that never leaves you no matter how much you beg or how much you wish. It's become a part of you, and of that you’re sure of.

What you’re not sure of is how to feel about all that your life has become. When you were younger you were no stranger to love– to watching the way your parents interacted as if their life was a simple romance film. You had never lived a loveless life, whether through platonic love or familial, you had felt it all your life. It was normal.

When you were younger you never thought you’d have the same type of love that your parents had. You’d witnessed all forms of love– the best kinds and the worst kinds– and didn’t think you’d get the chance to experience either one. You’d been on the receiving end of many emotions, the good and the bad, though your attraction to others since you knew what attraction was had always been shallow. A simple crush that made your heart flutter, but nothing that made you want to dance to an imaginary song in the dim glow of the kitchen at night. Nothing that made you think waking up to them everyday would be a blessing, and losing them would be a tragedy. For you, it was just like it was for everyone else. Nothing special like the love you’d always laid witness to. Nothing like the love people on your television would cry and cheer about, completely and irrevocably in love with whom they considered their other half.

When you were younger, you envied your parents. As wrong as it had always seemed, as horribly shallow as it had felt, their love constructed a jealousy in you, an insecurity, a flaw. For something you had been exposed to since being a mere infant, why was it so hard for you to feel? All you wanted back then was the love that made people stupidly happy. The feeling that made a comfortable ache form in their chests and an irreversible smile form on their cheeks.

Now, you think that you simply don’t deserve that love. You feel it, you understand it, yet it doesn’t feel as good as it should. It doesn't feel like theirs.

You’ve tried to reverse it, to become the shallow young girl you once were, but the ache in your chest remains through it all, and the complete devotion you feel towards your best friend is just agony every day it isn’t returned.

You’ve arrived at your dorm room, the grandiose building imposing as it towers over you, yet bringing with it a sense of comfort. You don’t miss out on any chance to revel in that feeling– constantly feeling as if a rug has been pulled from under you in every waking moment of the day. It’s tiring, and at any moment you feel like you’re ready to crumble under the weight of it all. Was love supposed to be so agonizing? So terribly heartbreaking? Was it right to tear you down this way?

Your keys jingle on the loop, and your Mary Janes click with every step along the lacquered wooden floors, the entire building spotless in its entirety and poshness oozing uncomfortably from its walls. Though with every step you took you became more and more at ease just happy that you’d be able to crash in your bed and pity yourself for the next few hours.

That was all your life consisted of now, after all.

You jogged up the stairs, your legs burning with effort and your movements restrained from your long pencil skirt. A blazer was buttoned deftly over your chest and black tights made it so that barely any skin was exposed. Not that it mattered, anyway. You’re a grown woman free to do whatever you please, and if that includes getting sick in the late autumn weather then so be it.

Upon arrival at your dorm room your shoulders sagged in visible relief. The door couldn’t unlock quick enough as you shuffled your way inside, dropping your purse to the side and setting your empty coffee cup on the kitchen island. You knocked your head back, looking up at the ceiling through bleary eyes and a tired frown. Your feet ached in your shoes and you wanted to spread your legs wide without feeling like you were wearing an exercise band.

You plopped down on your couch, unstrapping and kicking off your confining shoes and curling your feet into the couch. You relaxed into the chair, letting the misery and affliction of the day seep into the fabric. Your eyes closed of their own accord, and a content sigh left your lips in bliss. This was your comfort after a long day. Sitting alone to your own thoughts— or rather with no thoughts, allowing the silence to envelop you and comfort you with an imaginary hand on your back. It was this that made every day worth working through— the knowledge that you’d be able to curl up at the end of the day and relax your muscles just to do it all over again the next day.

Ever since you were a child being alone was a comfort you always sought out. Being left to your own devices was the best thing your parents could have ever done for you, and it was when you were able to fully relax. Reading, writing, drawing— the silence of your bedroom was a safe haven for your turbulent mind. Always running, never stopping to give you a break or catch your breath. Your thoughts ran rampant ever since you could remember, tormenting you and making your life an aching bout of anxiety. Silence was something that should’ve made it worse, but it was when you could fall into your daydreams and pretend your life wasn’t your own.

Sleep pulls you under, insistent as it forces your eyelids down.

Chan has always been a stranger to love, and that’s why he’s always done his best to give as much as he could. Since he was a young boy he had never known his father, had never known what it was like to play in the backyard with him or watch basketball games. He never knew what it would be like to hang out with his own dad, sharing secret handshakes and joking around with his mom. He didn’t know what it would be like to feel fatherly love, to feel the embrace of who should’ve been one of the most important people in his life.

Since he was a young boy it’s just been him and his mother, in their downtrodden family home, barely standing no matter how hard his mother worked to support them both. His mother had shared as much love as she could, fighting through the bitterness Chan’s father had left her with and pushing herself harder to provide for them both without any help. She had tried her hardest since Chan was a child until he was a senior in high school, constantly making sure he was provided for and well taken care of. This love should’ve been enough, but for a long time it wasn’t.

Chan had never known what it was like to love someone completely and irrevocably, wanting to shout from the rooftops his devotion to another. He had never seen his parents love each other, had never met either of his grandparents, and had no aunts or uncles or cousins in his life or who cared about him enough to even pretend they wanted something to do with him. In elementary school he was ridiculed, fatherless and pitiful. He didn’t live in a house as nice as the other kids, he didn’t have a complete and happy family like the other kids, or the same amount of money, or the same amount of privilege. To them, he was nothing.

In middle school it was much worse. By that time Chan had been no stranger to bullying. He had struggled through it during elementary school, had been tormented by his peers since before he was a teenager, and didn’t let the words affect him no matter how much harsher they became. To him, his oppressors were the pitiful ones. They were the ones who had not experienced enough love, and no matter how much he lacked he would always hold enough love in his heart for others— so that they didn’t have to feel as worthless as he did.

Chan knew from early how hard-working his mother had been. He knew she tried her best, that she worked herself to the bone just to make him happy. How much she wanted her love to be enough— and maybe it would’ve been had he not had to experience all that he did. He knew, and that’s why he had never voiced his feelings to her at all throughout elementary school and middle school, and why by the time high school came around he was an expert at masking the pain in his heart with a smile on his face.

When Chan’s mother told him they were moving it felt like a weight had been lifted. Leaving all the pain of his past felt like the beginning he needed, the start he wanted to finally be happy. To finally let his mother’s love be enough.

By the time Chan turned seventeen, his smile was the brightest it had ever been. He didn’t know how good it felt to be admired, to be held in high regard, to love and be loved back. It felt good. He never wanted to let that go, and if it was up to him he never would.

Before Chan made it to college his mother fell ill. Chan willed the love in his heart to be enough, hoped that his prayers and wishes would bring his mother back to him. That the love she had always given him would strengthen her and allow her to live as happily and carefree as she deserved. Chan had a plan, he would be the one to take care of her this time around. He was 18, had his own car and his own job. He was going to college to start his career so he could be there for her in return. So she could be taken care of like she deserved. He begged for his love to be enough, but sometimes it simply isn’t. And when the casket closed on the worst day of Chan’s life, he realized that to be true.

Chan rushes out the cafe, umbrella in hand, giggling to himself as he runs across campus— two coffee cups in hand as he goes. Bystanders watch him warily as he runs, wondering if he’ll drop one of the items he’s carrying or wondering if he’s alright, but Chan doesn’t notice and if he does, he doesn’t care enough to stop. His feet splash in puddles, carrying him to your dorm room as swiftly as possible. He’s careful not to slip on the wet pavement and tightens his grip on your drink to make sure it doesn’t spill.

The building is still the same imposing grandiose thing that it always has been, but to him it’s nothing but slabs of cement between piles of brick. He pays no mind to the water that drops down his umbrella over the once pristine wooden floor, simply running up the stairs and to your room. You should be awake by now, he decides, all too familiar with your daily naps after class and after work. His cap hangs low over his eyes so no one recognizes him as he shuffles through the halls.

He knocks rapidly on your door and only stops when he hears your groan through the drywall. His giggles float from his lips freely and unfiltered, and he’s filled with unadulterated joy just at the simple thought of seeing you. His heart thuds in his chest and he hopes he’s early enough to see your face puffy from sleep, hair mussed and clothes wrinkled as if he had finally gotten the chance to wake up next to you.

When the door opens he grins, dimple on full display as you sigh, grabbing a cup from his hands and moving to the side to let him in.

“How was your day?”

“Same as usual— hey!” You place the cup on the table next to your empty one from earlier and move his umbrella outside the door, sending him a glare as you shut it behind you. “Not on my floors,” you huff as he ruffles your hair in response.

“I missed you,” Chan hums, bringing his cup to his lips. “How was class?”

“I missed you too. Class was fine, just tiring Channie.”

A smile flits upon your lips as you cross your legs on the couch, turning towards your best friend’s form sprawled opposite you. “How was the interview?”

Chan smiles, rubbing at his neck in mock modesty. “It went great, honestly. They said they’d call me, tell me what the next steps are and all that shit.” He turns to you, smile blindingly bright. “Fuck, I’m so happy.”

The happiness on his face is palpable in the air between you as you lean forward and bring him into a hug. His cologne sticks to your skin and you bury your nose deeper into his jacket just to feel a little closer to him. “That’s great,” you beam, “If anyone could do it, it’s you.”

His arms encircle you and his lips brush against your cheek. His fuzzy sweater rubs along your bare skin, leaning a trail of warmth in its wake. Chan’s hands run up and down your back and he chuckles. “I know, I can always count on you.”

“Count on me?” you repeated, curling closer in Chan’s embrace as he grinned.

“To be there for me, to trust in me, to support me. You’re always there for me.”

“And you’ll be there for me too.”

“And I'll be here for you too,” Chan whispers, his voice much quieter than it had previously been. He noses into the top of your head, tickling his skin with your hair.

Your breath is silent to match the sudden silence in the room. Chan is still, his nose still pressed into your hair but his hand rests against your back and he leans into you, still holding his weight but allowing himself to relax a bit more in your embrace. You shuffle closer, digging your chin into his shoulder as lightly as possible so that it doesn’t hurt him, and squeeze at his sides.

You know how hard it is for him having lacked a stable support system in one of the most stressful times of his life, and you’re just glad you could be that for him. You allow his cologne to relax you as the silence becomes heavier, enveloping you in its embrace. You let yourself think about things you shouldn’t, allow yourself to wonder if you’d be able to leave a soft kiss against his skin. If he would leave a kiss against yours, trailing fingers across each other and whispering sweet words to one another, simply lounging in each other’s presence. You let yourself think about what would happen next. Would he hold you close? Pull you into his lap? Tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and lean in slowly to kiss you?

“I wish I could tell you what you are to me.”

Chan’s voice almost makes you jolt, so wrapped up in the previous silence that it takes you a moment to recognize he’s spoken. His words bring a frown to your face— one of confusion and one of false hope. You know that no matter how much you want to, you can’t wish for feelings. His hair is soft to the touch as you run your fingers through it, curling tendrils behind his ear and ghosting over his skin as if he was yours.

“I wish you could too.”

When did you fall in love?

Maybe it was when Chan would run his hands along your skin as if you belonged to him. Touching you with such a gentle caress that it was painful to your fragile heart, treating you with such tender care that it was almost unbearable. Yet like a drug you were addicted. To his attention, to his words, to his love. As platonic as it was, it still felt like something to treasure and hold close. It was all you could get and probably all you ever would. Or, perhaps it was when he would take your hand in his, dragging you to a new secret spot and setting up a picnic.

He’d lay out a large blanket, ground it with books and shoes, and then lay out all the food he cooked. Preserved in tupperware he’d make a show of having you try each one, watching with bated breath as you put a contemplative look on your face with every spoonful of food and only relaxing when you’d break character and assure him that his food was the best thing you’d ever tasted, and it was true. It was his and that’s what made it perfect to you.

Or, maybe it was when he’d come to your dorm room every night, right when you’d wake up from your nap, bringing a latte or a snack and lounging on your couch catching each other up on your days, on what’s been happening in the week, and later curling up and falling asleep to a movie. He’d grab ahold of your hand and thread your fingers together— never noticing the hitch in your breath but holding you close to him all the same.

He’d run a hand along your waist, let it slip under your shirt and ghost his fingers across your skin when you hugged. It was all earth-shattering, yet things that were so normal. You couldn’t allow yourself to think of it as anything more than it was.

“So I take it you’re never gonna confess.”

“Confess?” You question, bringing your croissant to your mouth and taking a bite.

Hyunjin sighs, bringing a hand to his hair in order to run through it. “Confess that you have feelings for Chan.” He grumbles, bringing his americano to his lips and looking at you through long eyelashes.

“Be serious, Hyunjin. Absolutely not.” You hiss, leaning forward against the table and settling him with a glare before returning to your croissant. “He practically has an entire entourage. The last person he wants is me when he can have literally anyone.”

“Y/n, are you an idiot? If you had even half the awareness the rest of us have you’d see the way he looks at you. The way he touches you? It’s practically like you two are dating already.”

“But we’re not.”

“But you could be.”

“Hyunjin—”

“I don’t get the big deal? I mean it’s just so obvious-”

“Hyunjin!? The big deal is that I could lose my best friend. It’s really not worth it.”

The eye roll Hyunjin sends your way is borderline petrifying, but you’re adamant in your refusal. You straighten up, swallowing the last bit of your croissant before staring at him with stubborn determination.

“Have you seen any romance movie ever? They always say that and then they end up together because, shocker, they both liked each other the entire time. Don’t be a typical mc.”

“Real life is not a movie,” you scoff, “You can’t possibly expect me to base my reasoning off that?”

“I do expect. You should listen to me. As someone with an outside view and who doesn’t have this fear of rejection I can observe you both very well and you obviously like each other. Just rip the bandaid off and move on.”

“Rip the bandaid off?? Really? Is that the best you’ve got? Not very comforting is it?”

Hyunjin sighs, grabbing your hand from across the table. His hand is large, warm, and you can’t help but be comforted when it envelops you.

“Just trust me.”

Against your wishes Hyunjin’s words stick with you for the rest of the day. It’s not the first time you’d considered confessing, finally letting the feelings that have been building up since high school free— wondering if getting all of it off your chest would make you feel better. But then again, you’d just be like everyone else who’s ever confessed to chan. Begging for him to love them back, face in a red flush, wondering what it would be like to love him.

Day by day the air gets colder, blowing against you so harshly it feels like needles prick your skin. The sky is a deep blue, only covered by a few wispy clouds. Around you couples and friends walk through town together, hand in hand, leaning on each other, hands running over each other’s waists. Happily in love.

You look down at the ground with a sad smile, quivering with each step you take, and this time the silence doesn’t allow your thoughts to disappear— it just lets them come knocking even harder. It happens sometimes, when no matter what you do you can’t escape them.

Against your better judgement you hope Chan is at your dorm. He slept over after a movie night, face pressed against the couch and bangs covering his eyes. you watched him for longer than you’d have liked, but you revel in any opportunity to imagine you both are more than you really are. You know it’s all in your head, you know you’ve got everything wrong, you know it’s just hurting yourself more— but when it comes to Chan you find that it doesn’t matter.

The walk to your dorm is slow, with you stopping to look at everything you could. Staring at worn down buildings, waving at cute dogs, and smiling at people as you walked past. Attempting to immerse yourself in the world around you and stop feeling like a passing viewer— to make it so that it felt like people saw you, and you weren’t just there.

You’d left your dorm room early this morning, meeting up with Hyunjin due to plans you’d both made the week prior. You always enjoyed talking to Hyunjin. He knew what was important in life, was strong-willed and attentive. He gave you the best advice, even if sometimes you didn’t follow it. Besides Chan he was probably one of your closest friends, as well as a boy named Lee Felix and your dorm mate. It’s been a while since you’ve seen them both, and it makes you a little sad. You feel like you lose grip over the people that’s important to you, and that after a while they’ll have no problem leaving you behind.

You heave a deep sigh to get the thoughts out your mind, wishing the September sun was a little brighter so it could lift your spirits. Your latte is still warm in your hand, and you tap your nails against it as you trudge up the road leading back to campus. Hyunjin had other business in the city so you two went your separate ways after breakfast. It was still early, unfortunately, and you had no idea how you’d spend the rest of your day. It was too cold to do anything really fun, and most of your friends had classes today anyway.

It was obvious when you’d arrived back on campus. If the intricate buildings weren’t enough, the perfectly paved pathways and neatly trimmed hedges were. People carried books with them as they walked, wearing big jackets and hats. It was really getting colder, and it almost saddened you. Another year coming to a close and you were still stuck with the same problems and the same feelings. You waved at people as you passed, recognizing a few familiar faces along the way. Attention fueled you, made you feel that maybe you were more in this world than you thought you were. That maybe things could be different, that you and Chan could walk side by side and all those people that usually follow behind him could follow behind you too.

Heat punches you in the face as soon as you step inside your housing, your feet clicking against the hardwood floors in something that’s become a comfortable routine. Your jacket now feels like it’s too warm, sticking to you and trapping heat inside. You rush up the stairs, by passing the elevator that’s been out of order for weeks now, and hurriedly shove your key in the lock on your door.

When you come in Chan isn’t there, but he could be in any of the other rooms of your dorm. You don’t call out for him, not sure if you want to hear the silence that might come as a reply. You kick your shoes off and hang your jacket on the door, unwrapping your scarf and tossing it on the couch on your way to your bedroom. The door is cracked open and the light is on, and the view brings a smile to your face without your control. You open the door wider and peek in. Chan is sitting on your bed, feet propped up in front of him, book in hand. Chan has always loved to read since the day you first met him in Junior year of high school. You thought that like a typical boy if he was reading at all it’d be a comic, or an action series, but it was a romance. At first it was anything he could get his hands on. He’d read pride and prejudice three times, and then decided to spend all his free time in the library. You always joined him, of course, happy to have a friend who liked the same things as you.

When you gifted him a large set of romance books for his birthday that year you were sure he’d kiss you. He stared at you like he would, before smiling and bringing you close into a hug. He still has every book, and it makes your heart flutter in silly ways. Right now, he’s holding a book out in front of him, reading glasses perched on his nose and a cup of tea on his nightstand. He’s really a sight for sore eyes, lips pursed in frustration or concentration you’re not sure. When reading it could be either. He flips the pages deftly, running over each line with the intention to devour every word, to soak it in with everything he could.

He’s so immersed you’re sure if you spoke he wouldn’t even hear, and if he did he’d only answer when he was done reading the page. You two were the same in that sense. You stepped into the room fully and closed the door behind you, dropping your latte and the coffee you got for Chan on the nightstand next to his tea and then laid flat on your bed with a sigh. Your arms sprawled out beside you, and your chest raised with every breath.

You turned your head to the side to look at Chan and couldn’t help the flush that warmed your cheeks when you met his eyes, him already staring down at you with a fond smile on his face.

“Hi.” You whispered, rolling onto your side to look at him more comfortably.

“Hi,” he murmured, closing his book and pushing it to the side. He rolled onto his side to look at you, moving himself even closer before running a hand down your hair and cradling your neck, running a slow finger across your skin.

“How was your day?”

“I read myself into oblivion while waiting here like a poor housewife for my dear best friend to come back.”

“House husband,” You correct, “And I went to the cafe with Hyun,” you whined, “don’t tease me.”

“I’m serious,” Chan laughed, moving his finger from your neck to slip it under the hem of your shirt and lightly tug it. “I was so lonely and I didn’t call ‘cus I know how much you like hanging out with him.”

You giggle, sitting up and facing him. “Oh yeah? I like hanging with you too, you know.”

“I know. I’d rather argue with you than laugh with anyone else.”

“So what does that say about you?” You scoff, laying back down beside him and trying to ignore the fact that you both have gotten even closer, and each breath that leaves his lips lingers against your skin. You see his lashes flutter under your gaze, yet he doesn’t stop staring intensely at your face.

“That I love you.”

It comes as a whisper, like a confession. But you can’t get your hopes up. You won’t. You pray for some miracle that Chan didn’t hear the hitch in your breath, or the fact that you noticeably flinched at his words, your lashes fluttering closed under his gaze. Your heart beats erratically, thumping against your chest and pounding harshly against your rib cage. If chan moved closer, if he pressed his body fully to yours, you wonder if his heartbeat would match your own.

“Yeah, I love you too.”

Chan holds his phone tightly, a frown etched onto his face. The group chat is blowing up and he can’t stop for a moment to read any of the messages. He weaves between groups of people, waving at most of them as he goes. A lot of people know him, a lot of people admire him. He helps out as many people as he can and makes friends with most, just trying to be a pillar for others— someone other people can look up to and lean on when they need to. That’s something that he’s always wanted to be, who he felt like he needed to be since a young age.

He remembered what you’d had to say about it during your second year and his third, your books spilled over the desk in your bedroom. You had dark circles under your eyes, and you were getting thinner, yet you still managed to smile at him so brightly. As if he was someone that deserved to see such beauty, such love in your gaze.

“So that's the face someone makes when they know everyone’s obsessed with them, huh?”

“It’s not like that.”

“Chan, it’s good, you deserve to be loved.”

Just not in the way he’d like, Chan guesses, frowning at the memory. He still remembers how much it bothered him that he couldn’t do anything more but bring you company during one of your hardest years in college, just having to watch as you worked yourself to the bone. He would’ve taken all your exams if he could, but you would’ve never let him, too content in neglecting yourself rather than letting your friends do the same.

The sun is practically nonexistent this afternoon, hiding behind heavy clouds. It's been raining for the last few days, coating the city in a bleak atmosphere that heavily resonates with him. It almost feels like the lower his mood becomes the dimmer everything around him does too. Sighing, Chan turns around to face the large, grandiose building that’s become the meetup spot for him and his friends.

He skips up the steps, and pushes open the door to the studio, feeling good at the wave of heat that brushes over him. He goes there enough to bypass having to sign in, simply sending a nod the receptionists way and walking to the elevator. Judging by the state of the group chat, Changbin and Jisung are already there. Jeongin might be too, but he knows the younger one is busy with his own workload. It sucks to never have time to see each other anymore, and even though the school year just started he’s hoping to see the end of it sooner rather than later.

When he pushes open the soundproof doors and ambles into the studio, Jisung is on his back in a matter of seconds. As jumpy as ever and unnaturally excitable, he latches on to Chan already asking a million questions. Changbin just laughs where he’s seated in front of the soundboard, messing with the dials and settings until they’re at a level he’s comfortable with.

Chan drops his bag down before plopping onto one of the padded seats in the studio and Jisung wastes no time sitting next to him. Though when he finally stops his chattering a frown etches into his face.

“What’s wrong?” Jisung asks, a hand coming to Chan’s shoulder and squeezing lightly, attempting to bring a warmth of comfort.

“Nothing,” Chan laughs, shaking his head.

Changbin has come closer now, either finished with the setup or wondering what’s going on.

“I swear! I’m just having a long day, that’s all.”

“Is it what I think it is?”

“Well what do you think it is?” Chan tenses, eyebrow raised at Changbin where the latter stares down at him.

“Is it this shit with Y/n again?”

“I’m sorry, what? It’s not anything, exactly like I said.”

“We already know when you come in here pouty and upset it’s because of her. Dude, I think you just need to let it go.”

Chan sputters, his eyebrows furrowing more in confusion than anger. “Let what go?”

“These feelings? It’s just hurting you more than helping and maybe you need to realize that this thing between you two isn’t meant to be.”

“Bin-”

“Please, Sung, you’ve said the same thing yourself.”

“What!? So you two have just been talking about me like-”

“No, that’s not it. We’re just worried and it’s translating poorly.”

“You don’t need to be worried, and like I said it’s nothing, so leave it alone.”

“Whatever, man.”

Chan grabs his bag where he's set it down and wraps his jacket around him once again. He hears Jisung call out to him but he can’t work there, not with the hostile energy that’s bouncing around in that studio. The door slams shut behind him and he doesn’t even bother looking back. He bypasses the elevator, instead running down the steps and rushing outside, welcoming the chill of the afternoon air. It cools his heated skin and his angered heart, and gives him the strength to leave the area and walk back where he came.

He sees people he knows on the way but he pretends he doesn’t, not in much of a mood to pretend to be happy to see everyone he meets. His mind is a tornado of thoughts, and his feet move quicker than his mind. When he sees your dorm up ahead he scoffs at himself, at his stupidity, at his dependence on you. He continues anyway, running up the stairs and turning his key into the lock. You’re breaking so many rules for him, allowing him so much freedom in your life, and it just makes the spot he’s carved in his heart for you to deepen.

His mind is frazzled as well as his hair. His chest heaves in frustration. At himself, at his choices, at everything. It seems so difficult for everything to go the way he wants, as if the world makes it so that everything he wants to go his way simply doesn’t. His key is still in the door. He hasn’t pushed it open. He wants to pretend this act he’s got going on isn’t hurting him, pretend that acting like you’re only a friend to him isn’t something that carves pieces in his heart at every moment. His hand trembles at his side, wishing he had yours to hold. Wishing he had your skin to run over and calm him.

He doesn’t know when you’ve become such a comfort to him. Maybe it was when you’d smiled at him for the first time. When you offered him a seat at your lunch table and shared what you didn’t want with him when he asked. Or, perhaps it was when you’d accompany him to the library everyday after school, sitting next to each other and reading whatever books you both could get your hands on. Or, maybe it was when you’d spent your savings from your summer job on a stack of books for his birthday, and it was the first time someone besides his mom had ever gotten him a birthday gift.

Or maybe it happened after all that. When he’d cried in front of you for the first time and you just held him tightly, refusing to let go. Or, perhaps it was when you’d come to his mothers funeral. A sad one, it was, with only four people in attendance. Chan couldn’t afford a casket, couldn’t afford to have a church with a pastor. He didn’t have anything, but he had you holding his hand, rubbing his back as he cried at the loss of all he had left.

Chan didn’t know back then that he’d gained something too.

Let it go? He can’t let it go, because you’re a part of him now too and losing you, losing his love for you, would be like losing a part of himself. Chan pushes the door open, content in how much he’s relaxed in the moments before the door. You’re standing in front of the door when he opens it, a mug in hand and a smile on your face.

“You look like you could use a hug.”

“Yeah,” Chan chokes, wrapping his arms around you and cradling your head close to his chest. You slide the mug onto the table beside you so you can pull him even closer, gripping his shirt tightly and positioning yourself so that Chan can lean his head into your neck. His body trembles with the tears that were begging to be let out as he asks in your warmth.

“You know I love you, right? I- I love you so much it hurts me.”

Your eyebrows furrow at his words, whimpered and muffled as they’re spoken against your skin. “What’s wrong, Channie? Talk to me.”

Chan shakes his head, knocking against your chin. “I can’t. I can't.”

“Yes you can. You can tell me anything.”

“I want a lot of things that I shouldn’t.” Chan whispers, bringing a palm to smooth over your hair. “I think about a lot of things I shouldn’t. Wondering if I could have it.”

“Chan…?”

“You are one of those things.”

You don’t realize you’ve stopped breathing until you let out a long exhale, your face screwing up with unshed tears as Chan starts to sway your body against his. His palm continues to run along your hair as if it’s anchoring him, giving him the courage to continue.

“For years, I’ve wondered what it would be like to hold you as more than a friend.”

Chan digs his face deeper in the crook of your neck, pressing his nose into your skin, and letting his tears wet your sleeve. His eyes flutter shut and his grip on you tightens. He didn’t plan on confessing to you tonight. He didn’t plan on cradling you close to his chest, feeling your breath against his skin as he poured his heart out, letting you into the one part of his soul he’s shown no one. It’s fitting, he thinks, for you to be the first to know. He’s peeling himself bare, letting you see the pieces of him he’s worked so hard to hide. The parts of him that he’s held so close to his heart, unraveled with a few simple words.

“Everytime I said I love you, I meant it. I meant it with more of me than anyone has ever seen. I’ve meant it with every fiber of my being, and you have a place in my heart no one else could ever have.” Chan releases a shaky breath, chuckling lightly before he continues.

“You’re already the most important person in my life, and I can’t imagine life without you. I wish I could tell you what you are to me.”

Your vision is blurred by tears, and your hands tremble where they grip Chan's shirt. He's so broad, covering you with all of him. He’s all around you, suffocating you with his words and himself. Your lip wobbles, but you muster up all the courage you don’t have, the strength you wish you held, to open up your heart in return.

“I don’t like that anyone would die to feel your touch, everybody wants you, everybody wonders what it would be like to love you,” you start, your words muffled and your breath jagged.

Chan is quiet, his heart beating faster than what should be humanly possible.

“When I'm near you, in this space, the pause between this breath and the next, you’ve carved a piece of yourself in my heart.”

“…”

“And I’m not afraid to love you— only afraid that my love won’t be enough. If I know what love is, it’s because of you.”

Chan strokes a thumb against your cheek, moving from your neck to lean his forehead down against yours.

“So please love me. As more than a friend, because it’s unbearable to hold you and look at you without being able to call you mine.”

“I’m yours,” Chan murmurs, “for as long as you want me.”

“So forever?” You laugh, but it doesn’t sound much like a laugh, wet and nasally from your tears.

“I really want to kiss you,” Chan whispers, hooking a finger under your chin and pulling you close. His nose brushes against yours and your breaths intermingle, mending with each other.

“Please.”

Your breath is labored as Chan’s lips ghost over yours. His shirt is soft under your fingers and his hand is strong where he grips your waist. Your lips brush, and you realize that this is it, the moment you’ve been wishing for, begging for, since you met him. Since you realized you were in love with him. With his silliness, with his laugh, his smile, his care. Since you realized his genuinity, how determined he was and is to take care of the people around him.

It’s tentative— gentle and soft— but not hesitant. You’re sure of what you want, and what you want is Chan. Your best friend. Your lips move slowly at first, exploring each other, before they press closer, lapping over each other and locking you both against one another. Your body buzzes with warmth, and you wrap your arms around Chan's neck— pulling him impossibly closer as he smiles.

You feel so warm, so happy, the kiss becomes less of a kiss and more of your teeth hitting each other from the force of your smiles. Tears still drip steadily from your cheeks but this time from happiness.

“I like kissing you,” Chan giggles when you both break apart for air, sighing against your skin and leaving goosebumps in his wake.

You leave a kiss full of relief on his lips, salty and wet, moving your mouth against his as he returns it. Slowly, your lips start to press against each other more eagerly, lapping over each other and filling you with warmth.

You find that you’ve fallen.

Truly, madly, and completely.

Fallen for a man that treats you like you’re his saving grace.

For a man who holds you like you’ll disappear without his hands on you.

For a man who’s simple confession made your heart stop momentarily.

You’re in love, and as much as it had been a part of you for all these years, you’re finally letting yourself admit it.

And he, you.

It’s been a few weeks since then, and you’ve been thinking. Every time his lips brush over your skin, when he pulls you up into his lap and kisses you breathless, when he digs his fingers into your hips content to leave marks that last for the next few days, you think about why he stops. You think about why he doesn’t touch you more. After all, now you both finally can.

Chan sits on the couch, your legs swung over his own, and a romance movie plays quietly in the background. You brush his hair from over his forehead, and your nails gently scrape along his skin. Chan hums, the vibrations traveling through your shirt and into your skin.

You feel the happiest you’ve ever been. You feel like maybe this could be what your parents have always had. A love that sticks forever. You want Chan to be your person. You’re so sure that he is.

“Are you tired?” You question, leaning down to get a look at his face. “We can sleep.”

“No, I’m not.” Chan smiles, grabbing your free hand and tugging it close to his face, leaving a kiss on each of your knuckles. His touch lingers against your skin and warmth blooms inside you. He leans forward, leaving a sweet peck on your lips but you lean in, pressing insistently against him. He lets you, opening his mouth and swiping his tongue across your lips.

He runs his thumb across your cheek, gently caressing your skin and everywhere he touches you, it feels like your body is in flames. This something has been building up inside you and now you're not sure how long you'll be able to control yourself. “I trust you, so please.” You plead, nosing against him. His lips feel so soft, so fitting on your mouth, you let out a whimper when he goes further than just a gentle kiss, taking your bottom lip between his properly.

Chan hadn’t even thought about properly responding to you before he was flipping you over, caging you under him and grinding his hips against yours. Your fingers trailed down his skin, running over the fabric of his clothes before tucking inside the waistband of his sweatpants and sliding them down his hips. Chan was gentle. Always gentle. He pulled your shorts down slowly and you sent a nod his way when he asked you if you were sure.

He nosed against your stomach, trailing his fingers against your bare legs and pulling your underwear down with his teeth. A shiver runs through you at the sight, and you grab at his shoulders in an attempt to ground yourself. “You’re so gorgeous.” He sighed, as if he couldn’t believe it. Couldn’t believe that you were his, that he was yours.

His mouth moves along the sensitive parts of your neck, down the line of your throat, while his other hand separates from your own to run down your waist and touch you where he knows you shiver with need.

He slips his leg between your parted ones, allowing you to settle down right on top of his muscular thigh. As the kiss grows deeper, your hips begin to move, gyrating and pressing down against him. As your bodies move with one another, your pleasure continues to rise, forming from your center and spreading over your body.

You desperately try to avoid bucking your hips upwards into him, but fail again and again. Eventually, Chan drags his mouth away, trailing it down your neck. You’re gasping against him, and you curl into his touch, whimpering when sharp teeth nip at you. There’s a tongue soothing the wound, sucking at the same spot, lapping over it. You can feel yourself starting to shake, whimpering more often than not, before you’re dragging Chan’s face back up into a kiss rt. You can feel Chan smiling into it, chuckling just the tiniest bit, but resume kissing him.

He holds his gaze on yours when you fall apart, relaxing your body while the pulsing of your orgasm courses through you. He leans down into your arms right after, pressing tightly against your chest, so tight that you could feel his heartbeat pacing fast against yours. The kisses he gives you are soft and gentle, your thighs still trembling when he pulls away, pulling his grey t-shirt over his head.

The unmistakable shape of his erection that you feel brushing against your stomach lets you know just how turned on he is, and you equally so. His lips return to yours only after he has stripped himself, and your hands move from his shoulders to his chest, trailing down his naked skin, where you slide your fingers under the waistband of his boxers.

You lean forward, taking him into your hand. He’s heavy, full of cum, and you slide your body down so that your mouth is right against his cock. You leave a kitten lick on the underside of his shaft, feeling the veins and the way Chan throbs. He’s a pleasant weight on your tongue and you swirl it around the tip before sucking him into your mouth.

Still with your eyes on his face, you lean closer, kissing his sensitive tip before fitting your lips around the head, taking him into your mouth again. You hear him gasp before it turns into a deep groan, sucking and licking as you take him deeper.

Chan sighs, every time you inch down onto him you can feel his skin against your nose and hear the spit fucking back in your throat. Your eyes lose focus as Chan continues to rut into you, and your body buzzes from the sensation. You feel hot all over, allowing him to use you the way he wants. His low growl vibrates down to your core and you resist the urge to reach down and stroke your fingers to search for your own pleasure, choosing to focus on pleasing him instead.

His lips fall open with a few deep grunts escaping his soft lips, his hips moving faster as he pumps himself into your mouth. “Fuck, baby. I’m gonna cum.”

"You are so beautiful," he sighs, his thumb brushes back and forth over your cheek, relishing the way your body leans into his touch. "You have no idea how many times I wished I could take you like this."

He traces down your panties, soaked with your arousal, running over the lace and moaning at the feeling of it clinging into your clit. His thumb follows the wet trail on the flimsy fabric to find your opening, hardly shielding you from his touch. He twists his hand while he continues to press his thumb in circles over your covered entrance, his fingers find your clit, and then he pinches, hard, sending you over the edge a second time and into one of the most intense orgasms you've ever had.

You squirm at the feeling of your release, his fingers slowly peeling the scrap of black lace down your thighs, making a show out of it while he makes you wait. He continues to tease you, staring you down as you slip your feet from them and he pulls them off. His eyes roam over your body, inhaling deeply, breathing you in. His lashes flutter, and the view of him taking you in so shamelessly makes you shudder.

He drops the fabric in the next moment, looming over you with hooded eyes, and leans down to leave a lingering kiss on your lips. He continues to kiss you as he spreads your legs apart, holding them down with heavy hands. His lips find your hips, then he moves down, running his tongue down your legs, taking time to trail along your thighs, your calves, your ankles, and keeping his eyes on you the whole time.

You let out a gasp at the first stroke of his tongue over your clit. Your legs lift a little, but Chan presses them back down, keeping you in place— keeping you right where he wants you.

You run a shaky hand through his hair as you cry out at the feeling of his tongue resuming its ministrations on your throbbing core. You can’t do much but moan and sigh, an incoherent mess from Chan’s mouth. It’s funny to you, how you started this but he has you shaking from under him, building you up and then breaking you down with immense pleasure— a feeling that you can barely think around.

You hear his soft chuckle as he gives you a few more kisses with his tongue, tasting you, before he looks up again and whispers, “Does that feel good?” He teases, unrelenting in showing you just how determined he is to make good of his words. His grip tightens on your thighs, as the swipes of his tongue grow more intensely. He sucks at your clit, pressing his tongue against you to send you into your second orgasm.

Your hips move desperately against his face, hopeless in your need for more. Chasing pleasure with each roll of your hips and his head buried in your heat. You spasm, shaking in pleasure as you cum, soaking his tongue with your release and closing him in with your thighs. He doesn’t stop, sucking your clit in his mouth and using his tongue to lap up every bit of your orgasm. You cry out in protest, your body squirming away from his touch as instinct but the grip on your thighs doesn’t let up.

“Chan please, oh god.”

His chest shakes with a chuckle, rising up and slotting himself between your thighs. You want him, more than anything, no matter what. He kisses the corner of your lips, smiling against your mouth. “I love you,” he sighs, and a smile crosses your face.

“I love you too.”

As he continues to litter kisses against your skin, he presses his cock against your clit, rubbing his hard length against you, coating himself with your arousal. The next time he pulls himself back from you, he only does it briefly— and when he pushes himself back it’s with a thrust into you hard and fast, nearly bringing you to another orgasm despite you just coming down from your previous one.

Your thoughts leave you as he continues to move in and out of you, filling you up and satisfying you the way he always does, but you manage to speak without realizing. “You make me so happy,” You whimper, and your walls contract as he slams into you deeper, lifting your legs and situating them against his shoulders. He buries himself so deep inside it’s almost like he’s melded himself into you. He’s so big, you can barely breathe, allowing him to bring pleasure to you both as he moves.

“Shit, Y/n.”

Even this moment feels too good to be true. To have him rocking against you, pulling you closer than anyone ever has. It feels like a dream.

Your words become nothing but a moan when his thrusts don’t falter and instead pick up. You don’t know how he’s managing to keep going, how he’s managed to move even quicker.

"Come on, baby," he whispers, clenching his jaw, letting you know that he’s on the brink of orgasm. Chan bends down, taking your lip into his mouth, making you sigh in bliss. Then his fingers come down to find your clit, sending you erupting into another orgasm.

The next thing you know Chan is groaning above you, his body going lax against you and his cum shooting into you forcefully, making you clench harder around him. Chan whimpers as he continues to cum, again and again, releasing into you and painting your walls.

“Oh Channie,” you sigh, “does it feel good?”

Chan nods, his hair brushing against your naked skin, and he presses a soft kiss against your collarbone. His lips rest there as you both come down from your high, basking in the glow of your orgasms and relishing in the presence of each other.

He pulls out of you, dragging his tip against your skin before littering kisses against your face. Small pecks that tickle with the gentle force of them, and you giggle, running a hand through his soft locks.

Your chest heaves with the force of your breaths but otherwise your body feels light, airy, and any negative thought you’d entertained before is completely gone. You didn’t need this to prove that he’s yours, to feel comfortable, but he’s shown you that he wants every part of you, and it fills you with an undeniable warmth.

“How is it that you’re this cute even after all this?” Chan murmurs.

“Shut up.”

You trace your fingers against his skin, tracking his breathing and basking in his warmth. Your fingers slide through the grooves in his abs, tracing shapes over his collarbone, and tweaking his nipple just for Chan’s barking of a laugh when he shoves you away saying that it tickles. You lean your forehead down so that it’s resting just near Chan’s armpit, hairless like usual, and inhale— breathing in his scent, his proximity, him. He's perfect, and he’s yours, no matter what.

You’ve always wished for the closeness and transparency of a trusting relationship— have always wondered if you’d be able to get that, if you’d be able to keep it— and Chan is proof that you have. It feels good to know that there are no secrets, no doubts or worries, and that there can only be acceptance between the both of you. A secureness that would be hard to find anywhere else. It fills you with butterflies, as if you and Chan had just started dating, —and though you have, you’ve been best friends for years— but it makes you incredibly happy to know that those feelings will remain, and you can only hope it'll stay that way forever and always.

When Chan runs his hand down your back, reaching below the covers to squeeze your ass, you huff, poking him in the chest as a warning. Yet you know, and Chan knows, that it makes you happy that you have this. A home, a loving boyfriend who loves you just as much as you love him, and a trusting relationship.

Chan likes this familiarity. Laying down with you, bare emotionally and physically, and unworried about being judged or ridiculed. It feels good, it satisfies him more than he ever thought it could, and makes a comfortable, warm, feeling bloom in his chest. He’s happy, he’s loved, and he inhales— taking in the scent of you, your proximity, your love, and he smiles.

6 years later

Fire crackles in the fireplace of your childhood home, the smell of baked goods wafting through the air and filling your nose with delectable goodness. It’s warm, yet the sweater you adorn only feels even more comforting— though the hand around your waist feels even more so.

In the kitchen your parents chatter with your other family members and with your friends, and in the background a christmas movie plays. A christmas tree stands tall in the living room, ornaments dangle from the branches and twinkle with the small gusts of wind from the heater. Stockings line the fireplace and pictures of you and your family decorate every surface around the house. Pictures of chan, too. Him as a child, you both as teenagers, pictures of you on the first day of college, on the day you graduated, at your first job, a picture of you both carrying keys to your first apartment, and a picture of you both under the altar.

The warm, fuzzy feeling that you first had when you and Chan had started dating has yet to disappear even after all these years. It’s still there every time you look at him, every time you hold his hand, every time he kisses you. You nuzzle into his chest and sway. There’s no song playing, only the sounds of the tv and your loved ones, but still you sway together.

The picture of romance you thought you’d never achieve, yet it’s so much more than that. It’s a completeness that fills your heart, a happiness that doesn’t go away even on your worst days, and the comfort of knowing that someone will be there after a long day— there to hold you and whisper their love to you. You’ve been surrounded by love all your life, but this love is something you never thought you’d have. You’d envied your parents for the fact that they’d achieved it, but now that you know what it feels like you can only be happy at the fact that they’d been so lucky. That you’re so lucky.

So, when did you fall in love?

You think you could most likely tie it back to when Chan first laid a kiss on your skin, cheeks flushed and eyes red with tears. Or, perhaps it was when he’d confessed his love to you, waxing poetic about the feelings that you thought were only yours to hold. Or, maybe it was when he took you into his arms for the first time, holding you with care and treating you as if you were something to be treasured.

Maybe it was before all of this. Maybe you still aren’t really in love, but the way your heart beats when he’s around, when he smooths his hands over your shoulders and tucks his head under your chin, or the way unshed tears brim at your eyes when you look at the ring on your finger, makes you think that maybe you’re in something much deeper than that.

a/n: 😭😭 as always i hope you all enjoyed and tysmm for reading <33 ily

mini taglist: ily all sm <;33 @itsisa @myjisung @raspbinniecreme @ughbehavior & @svintsandghosts (i can’t remember if u asked or not <33)

#chan imagines #chan smut #bangchan smut #bangchan scenarios #bangchan imagines #bang chan #skz imagines #skz x reader #skz smut #stray kids smut #bang chan x reader #bang chan x female reader #chan x reader

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andithiel · 4 months

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End of year wrap up

I am so super late to this, but I’ve done this in the last few years and I think it’s a nice tradition to look back at the accomplishments I’ve achieved. 2022 was a very bleak year writing wise, and I’m happy to say that I’ve slowly started to get my mojo back a bit. My AO3 wordcount for 2023 was 36,936 words, but I’ve also posted some shorter things on tumblr, and I actually made a spreadsheet to track my progress and tally all my written words, including those that get deleted and also those not yet posted, and according to the spreadsheet I wrote 10k more. I still have a lot of WIPs hanging around in my drive, but I’ve managed to finish some of them, and I feel like I have more energy and excitement to finish some more, so, here’s hoping that 2024 will be the year that I actually end up with fewer WIPs at the end than at the beginning (something I tried back in 2020, before the world went up in flames).

Under the cut is what I published in 2023:

January

Fading in Love (locked to logged in users) (Drarry, Explicit, 5k) I wrote this as a belated birthday present for @sassy-sassy3, it’s an 8th year secret relationship with a lil’ sprinkle of magical theory regarding the Dark Mark.

February

I decided to try a few prompts for HD Candyhearts and ended up having a lot of fun with them:

Second Date AO3 tumblr (Drarry, Teen, 1,3k) with an insecure Draco after having spent the night with Harry.

The microfic Taste the love (for the prompt Sweet treats)

How deep is our love? AO3 tumblr (Drarry, Teen, 762 words) featuring established Drarry bickering and absolutely ridiculous Valentine’s cards.

The secret language of flowers AO3 tumblr (Drarry, Teen, 2k) featuring the classic tumblr post the fuck you bouquet.

Pillow microfic with Draco being a little shit

Charm me 8th year drabble FWB/secret relationship sort of vibes.

March

Take that ride (Drarry, Teen, 1,6k) I finally managed to write a fic idea that’s been scrambling around in my brain for ages. I wanted to create a mood and a feeling with this and I’m so happy with how it turned out.

I also wrote a short fuck or die drabble that I’m super proud of: Let me show you

June

Hold back the tide (Drarry, Teen, 2k) Another idea that’s been with me for years that I finally got out (despite not having written the fic that preludes this).

October

Thunderstruck (locked to logged in users) (Drarry, Explicit, 8k) My god, my beast, this fic resisted me and to top it all off I got covid right when I was about to finish it. I struggled with this so damn much, also wanting to create a vividness that doesn’t really come natural to me, but I’m so happy with how it came out in the end. Plus I got to collab with the amazing @fictional who, as usual, knocked it out of the park with her glorious art.

November

The Potter Malfoy bathroom war of 2007 (locked to logged in users) (Drarry, Explicit, 8k) Another fic that’s been with me for some time, although “only” a year. I saw the prompt for last year’s Suds when claims had closed, so I tried to forget about it but it wouldn’t leave me. I had so much fun writing this, I love writing Harry and Draco bickering and fighting with each other when we as readers know it’s basically their form of foreplay.

December

When it’s exactly twelve o’clock that night (Drarry, Teen, 6k) This was also a fic one year in the making. I started writing it to post on last New Year’s Eve, but I couldn’t finish it in five days (to my own astonishment), but I’m happy it got to marinate for a while because I added a scene with Scorpius that I’m very fond of.

I wasn't tagged by anyone and I'm sure people have already done this, but if this means you get another tag, consider pointing me to your own year wrap up so I can see it! @sassy-sassy3 @fictional @mystickitten42 @uncannycerulean @goblinmatriarch @phdmama @crazybutgood @dragonbornphoenix @wo2ash @rei382 @nv-md

#fic year in review #ao3 wrapped #andithielwrites #drarry

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simplymurdock · 6 months

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Late Night Visitor

summary: you get a late night visitor which leads to emotions finally being able to be expressed.

pairing: Joel Miller x gn!reader

warnings: just some teeth rotting fluff, mentions of a stab wound and first aid, and cursing.

word count: 2k words

authors note: i wrote some fluff of Joel because i absolutely am in desperate need of fluff with joel. i hope y’all enjoy this little fic, i didn’t want to force myself to write a lot because i’m still trying to get back into the swing of things. but i still hope y’all enjoy a little bit of fluff for your day <3

The Boston QZ was oddly beautiful at night. In a weird way the night always brought you a type of comfort. The OZ had brought back a familiar city feeling, a comforting peace. A type of peace before the apocalypse happened and everything went to shit. The sense of familiarity you would so desperately held onto any time you could. Having not been originally from Boston, you had to throw out any and all sense of your home before leaving. Taking only the few physical memories and keep-saks you could, you did. Of course, you had tried making you and your fathers small two bedroom apartment feel more like the home you had left, but nothing would ever match it.

Here you were again, alone at night as your father worked whatever high paying job he could. Finding out that the most dangerous was the highest paying, which almost always happened during the night. Your job was to keep up with the house and buy anything they needed. That was until people took note of your sewing skills. They were better and lasted much longer than the OZ’s shit quick job that would charge you three times the amount. This night was your night off, trying to give your fingers a break once a week from stabbing a needle itself or the eye of the needle into them.

Normally on your days off would be with one of the Miller brothers down the hall, and either play cards, tell them the craziest shit you had seen that week, or just annoy them. Joel was your favorit to annoy, but he wouldn’t ever send you away.

Currently neither brother was home, both of them and Tess had gone out the day before towards Bill and Frank’s for more things they could smuggle in and sell. They would always bring you back any medical supplies or sewing supplies you needed or they thought you'd like. Having had to sew up one of them once or twice in the past. It was a silent agreement amongst them. They would part with whatever you needed for sewing, and they would bring some first aid along with trusting their life in your hands. Certain people would only come to you for help, only trusting you and not wanting anything to do with QZ’s first-aid. Rathering it being a workplace accident or kids rough housing going too far most knew you wouldn’t say anything to anyone. So late night visits weren’t something you weren’t all the strange too. Rather, it was yet another workplace accident that needed either a good clean or a few stitches. Nothing extreme or life threatening.

Nothing as extreme as when Joel had taken you to Bill and Frank’s after Bill had gotten shot. It was mostly because Frank was a nervous wreck about if Bill was okay or not. So, Joel offered to take you down there to take a look at him, and reassure both of them that everything would be fine. And they were. You cleaned his wound thoroughly before you left and gave Frank some really reassuring details on how to take care of the wound. Which had put you in each of their good graces, which for saying a lot for how stand off-ish Bill was. You made sure that the brother’s or Tess always checked up on them for you. And always made sure that they knew you would always come out whenever they needed you too.

You wanted to go on runs with them. Always have offered to go with them, rather they needed the help or not. Just wanting to see something different then the same walls, the same house, the same building, and the same people. But they would always tell you no. Even when you tried asking a different person trying to get at least one ‘yes’ each and everyone had told you ‘no’. Saying that they didn’t want to have to look out for you. Which was bullshit in your eyes, after all you were only six years younger then Tommy.

So, here you sat on your window seal with a folded up blanket to act as some type of cushioning while your left leg hung out the frame and your body leaned against the wall. Times like these were one of the only times you felt at peace in this hellscape. A lot of people wouldn’t believe how quiet it actually got at night. Most thought that the sounds of trucks or booming voices over the PA system would keep you up. In reality this was the time you had to be silent, with everyone knowing the fact of the infecteds love of noise. Of course with the rise of the fireflies there was now a patrol truck that would pass with a spotlight every so often, mostly just shining them at any dark alleyway before moving on. And it’s not so quiet you could hear a pin drop, no. The already paper thin walls were now decacing making everything even more louder. Hearing people having agreements, rather it being a drunken agreement or one that would end in tears, you heard every word. Sex, not as embarrassing as it once was and now a more ‘get it over with so you two can shut the hell up’ mood. But there was one noise that caught your attention. A soft subtle knock at your knock.

Shrugging it off with being a knock from down the hall. It hadn’t sounded like it was directly at your door, so you paid no mind.

That was until it came again, and again, and the fourth knock was the one that had you already up and onto your feet. Glancing at the clock, you figured it was a few hours off but it was still late in the night. And definitely not time for your father to be getting off his shift.

You pulled the door open, confused and shocked seeing Joel leaning on your door frame. He was covered in sweat and caked in dirt, panting holding his shoulder with his right hand while his left stayed limp and leaned against the frame. “Joel, what the hell are you-”

“I got stabbed.”

You blinked once before your eyes widened realizing that was the reason his left arm was limp. Taking only a second to step aside to let him in, looking down both ends of the hall for any stray people wandering around at night before shutting and dead bolting the door. “Where?” You asked already going to your closet. Reaching into the far back for an old black backpack that held all your first aid supplies that was hidden under piles of your winter clothes.

“Left shoulder. Asshole got me as I was walking away from him.” He groaned out taking off his jacket, slowly peeling it off his wound seeing the bright blood on it.

You started laying the items out onto your kitchen table, “How big was the knife and why the fuck did you pull it out?”

“I stabbed him in the chest with it.”

“That’s stupid Joel, you never pull the knife out!”

“Well I wasn’t going to let him get away with stabbing me!”

You sighed shaking your head, “You’re gunna be the death of me Joel Miller. Look, shirt off, sit in the chair with you back facing the table.” You told him as you moved down to the fridge, or what used to be a fridge and was now a pantry for either nuts, cans, or alcohol. Reaching in the far back for the more potent stuff. “I think these are the only times I have to bring out the gooodd…” You trailed off after turning back towards him seeing he was shirtless. Of course this wasn’t the first time you’ve seen him shirtless. He once had a gash on his upper thigh that you had to look at once, which broke the awkward air around you two. Taking two steps closer to him, holding the bottle out for him to take. Which he did, pulling the cork out before taking a large swig before placing it back onto the table. Nodding his head lightly, sitting down in the chair backwards, resting his arms on the back of it. “Let’s get this over with.” He said preparing himself for the incoming pain.

You slid onto the top up the table, having had to brush your body up against his to get here. Sitting with your legs crossed for ease across the lean back and forth. You started with cleaning the wound. Pouring a bit of the alcohol onto a rag and cleaning around the wound, Joel flinched at the sudden coldness before relaxing again. Once all the blood, dirt, and sweat was off you went to change the rage. Not wanting any chance to get any infection getting the rag ready, “Here comes the hard part,” Seeing the muscles in his back tighten, through gritted teeth he let out a muffled ‘ready’. Placing the rag at the bottom of the cut, using your other hand to grab the bottle and pour some of it into the wound. His back tensed completely trying to fold in on itself. But he fought against the reflex, “Son of a bitch.” He cursed, tossing his head back, nearlying hitting yours.

“I know, I know,” You muttered watching the white fizzling stop. Placing the clear bottle of rubbing alcohol back onto the table. Handing the dark bottle of drinking alcohol over to his right side. Which he took, taking a large sip, setting the bottle onto the ground and letting his hand hang around it. “All I need to do is sew it up.”

“Great,” He muttered, letting his chain rest on the rim of the chair.

“See I don’t think this would’ve happened if I was with you,” You remarked. Taking the rag and using it to soak up the extra blood and alcohol from the wound.

“For the last time, you aren’t coming with.”

Taking the black thread, dipping it alongside the needle into the rubbing alcohol. Before threading the black color through the eye of the needle. “I just think I would be able to help make sure these type of things–”

“I can’t worry about you also.” His voice was stern, glancing over his right shoulder as a way not to mess up your stitching.

Your eyes kept watching the needle pierce through the skin, feeling Joel’s eyes staring at you. Finally looking over at him, meeting his eyes. Expecting him to be mad or completely fed up with you bugging him about the same topic. But they weren’t. Instead they were soft and gentle. Paired with what he had just said, it surprised you. He wasn’t making you stay because he thought of you as a bother or any person to have to drag along, but instead he would worry about you. Joel Miller, the man who didn’t dare show any emotion, was currently telling you that he cared about you.

“Joel–”

“No, after the first time we went out I was always on fucking edge. And on our way back I was still on edge. I couldn’t understand why, I mean I’ve done that track multiple times and didn’t understand why I was so worried. And it was because I was worried about something happening to you. Which I know sounds crazy since you’re currently stitching me up.” He explained scoffing lightly, watching you listening to his whole spill while continuing to stitch. “It’s just I realized how much I care about you. How much I actually wanted to spend time with you. Even if it means I get hurt,”

You were silent for a moment, trying to finish up the current stitch you were on. Feeling Joel’s eyes on you once again. Finishing the final stitch before looking over at him, pressing your lips together before breaking into a smile. “Fine, as long as I’m the only one that’s stabbing you.”

He laughed before winching at the stinging pain in his now closed wound. “You’re going to bust a stitch,” You warned, now drying the skin around the wound once more before getting the items ready to cover it. “As long as we end up like this I don’t mind, doll.”

#the last of us #the last of us fic #joel miller <3 #joel miller fic #joel tlou #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller #joel x reader #the last of us hbo #the last of us x reader #the last of us x you #back on my zombie shit #this was in my drafts for a while #i can’t stop thinking about this gif #i literally go feral over this gif

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thatsrightice · 1 month

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Hi, please have this thing I wrote on February 23rd, SIXTEEN DAYS before Part 8 came out where we saw Crosby neglecting his own wellbeing.

how do I know I’m still not hallucinating?

words: ~2k

main themes: entirely self-indulgent, Croz doesn’t take care of himself, POWs are back in Thorpe Abbotts, Croz & Bubbles, Croz & Rosie, basically implied Croz & everyone, the very definition of hurt/comfort

summary:

Harry Crosby becomes so sleep-deprived from constantly overworking himself that he hallucinates seeing friends who have gone down. He startles the first couple of times because they look exactly the same, as though not a day has gone by since he last saw them. He quickly recognizes them for what they are, soft smiles reminding him to get some sleep. Amidst a particularly stressful couple of weeks organizing missions to shuttle POWs out of Germany, the hallucinations become more frequent and he's not sure how much longer he can take it.

Harry Crosby becomes so sleep-deprived from constantly overworking himself that he begins to hallucinate seeing friends who have gone down. He startles the first couple of times because they look exactly the same, as though not a day has gone by since he last saw them. He quickly recognizes them for what they are, soft smiles reminding him to get some sleep.

He looks up from the map in Group Ops and Bubbles is leaning against the table listening intently, nodding and smiling in encouragement like always. He could have sworn that it was the Bucks who nearly ran him over with a jeep. One time an entire group of them were in the Flying Mess, laughing and pounding on the table as Curtis spun another one of his tales. He stops and listens for a moment before promptly turning around and heading straight for his bunk, all with a smile on his face.

He finds comfort in their presence, a hopefulness that they’ve found the path to Valhalla. He can’t help longing to join them but knows that his work isn’t done here yet.

And so he pushed on.

It’d been a long week for Crosby. Even after they’d shifted away from bombing runs towards supply drops and shuttling POWs, there was still plenty of work to be done and little sleep to be had. That’s why he’s not surprised when he passes Bucky standing with an arm around Buck’s shoulder. Crosby does nothing more than give a polite smile and a tired nod; he was already on his way to bed.

Of course, suddenly those two, along with some others, just keep showing up around base no matter how much sleep he gets. They all look a little worse for wear but Crosby decides it must be some sort of projection of how he feels. They try to talk to him but he can’t respond. To get diagnosed with Combat Fatigue and sent home after he’s been so unbelievably careful about not letting anyone find out about the hallucinations for so long would be a disgrace.

It all comes to a head after he’d been awake for far too long even by his standards. He discovers his chance and slips out of Group Ops for a brief moment of reprieve. He jumps into the front seat of his jeep taking off down the road. He drives to the Flying Mess without even really thinking about it and takes a seat at an empty table with nothing but a coffee in hand. He tells himself that coffee here tastes better than whatever shit they serve at Group Ops.

“What? The food here not good enough for you anymore, Croz?” Bucky grinned, taking a seat at the table across from him with Buck at his side. Crosby said nothing, eyes cast down as he stared into his cup. The table began to fill with more old faces among the likes of Brady, Hoerr, and Hambone. Murphy and DeMarco, too.

“Bingo’s too good for us now that he’s runnin’ with the high mucky-mucks,” Ham teased.

“Croz!” Bubbles greeted cheerfully, taking a seat on his left side. Though he finds himself surrounded, it’s like there’s a buffer between them, no one coming close enough to touch let alone brush against him.

“Hey Bubbles,” Crosby mumbled softly into his cup as he took a sip to avoid looking at the man.

“So he speaks,” Buck drawled, raising an eyebrow and smirking at him with that all-knowing look of his.

“You know, Croz,” Bucky began, pointing at him with his fork.”In the Stalag they got us eating nothing but spuds and slop.”

Crosby recognized it as a reminder to eat, but he wasn’t too sure he could stomach anything solid. He used to find comfort in their presence, but as of late, it felt as though his chronically optimistic demeanor was turning against him.

He set down the cup and bowed his head, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes in an attempt to quell the building emotions. The table goes quiet.

“Croz? Are you-“

“Major Crosby will report to Group Ops,” the Tannoy called, echoing over all corners of the base. It was like a switch had been flipped and he was immediately running on autopilot.

He downed the rest of his coffee and quickly strolled through the mess to his jeep. He remembered walking into Group Ops and holding a conversation with one of his assistants, but everything faded to black as he walked up the handful of steps to his office.

Bubbles is sitting at his bedside when he wakes up, staring down at his hands. He let out a shaky exhale and focused his eyes up at the ceiling.

Bubbles’ head shot up.

“What the hell happened, Croz?” he scolded. “You’re dehydrated, malnourished, sleep deprived–”

Crosby doesn’t have the energy to fight it anymore and allows himself to look at Bubbles, to truly look at Bubbles for the first time since the hallucinations had begun. He examined Bubbles’ face closely. He looks over every wrinkle in his brow and every freckle on his cheeks.

“God, I miss you,” Crosby rasped. Bubbles’ face fell.

“I’m right here, Croz,” Bubbles reassured. And now that Crosby could see his face in full view, vision no longer blurred and the room no longer spinning, the other man looked as awful as Crosby felt.

“It’s not fair,” he babbled, staring up at the ceiling and blinking away his tears. “It should have been you here and not me.”

“Don’t say that,” Bubbles chastised.

Crosby swallowed a sob. “I can’t do this, Bubbs,” his voice cracked.

“Hey, it’s almost over,” Bubbles soothed, scooting his chair forward. “We’re so close, Harry. We just gotta stick it out a little bit longer.”

Crosby shook his head, tears falling down his face. “I'm sorry, I just- I can’t do this anymore, Joey.”

“I am so incredibly proud of you, Binger, and don’t you dare think otherwise. You are the smartest, most selfless person I know. You give and you give until there is nothing left,” Bubbles spoke firmly. “But you're not in this alone, alright? There are so many people outside right now who care about you and are worried sick; Blake and Doug and Rosie. The Bucks, Ham, Brady, Murph, and DeMarco. We’re all here for you,” Bubbles grabbed his hand.

Crosby couldn’t help but jerk out of his grasp, staring in fear at his best friend.

“Harry? What’s wrong?”

“You touched me.”

“Do you not want me to?” Bubbles questioned, concern and worry replacing his confusion.

“You’ve never been able to touch me before,” Cdosby fiddled with the edge of the blanket.

“Course I have,” Bubbles smiled softly, moving to sit on the edge of the hospital cot.

Crosby reached out and hesitantly placed a hand on the other man’s cheek. When his fingers made contact he couldn’t help but throw himself at Bubbles. “I thought you were gone,” he cried. His arms were wound tightly around Bubbles’ neck, the other navigator’s arms circling his waist. “I thought I was hallucinating. How do I know I’m still not hallucinating?”

Bubbles was too shocked to speak and Crosby took that as his queue. He spilled everything and Bubbles listened, rubbing the man’s back gently as they embraced. He hid his face in Bubbles’ neck, crying and apologizing profusely for ignoring them all. Bubbles whispered reassurances while he wept, murmuring promises that no one was angry with him. Bubbles was equally mortified that none of them had done anything to step in. They watched from afar as the navigator worked himself to the bone. They kind of picked up on the fact that he was ignoring them, but they were too afraid of interrupting his extremely busy schedule. Bubbles began to tear up as he replayed every interaction he’d had with Crosby over the last couple of weeks. He couldn’t help but blame himself for not doing anything sooner.

Bubbles pulled away, thinking carefully as Crosby’s words sank in. He separated from the man and came around to the other side of the bed. He put Crosby’s arm around his shoulder and helped the man stand up. He led him to the window.

“Do they look like hallucinations?” He questioned, gesturing out the window at the grounds out front.

A group of men occupied the space in front of the hospital. Douglass stood close to the front door of the hospital deep in conversation with Blakely. Blakely took off his hat and ran a hand through his hair before securing it back on his head. Buck stood with his hands on his hips, looking out across the base. Murph was sitting on the ground leaning against the tree beside Hambone. DeMarco and Bucky stood a little off to the side throwing a ball back and forth with Meatball darting between them.

“Blake and Dougie don’t,” Crosby answered, seemingly avoiding the subject. Bubbles sighed, resting his head against Crosby’s as he became lost in thought.

Crosby glanced down at Bubbles’ watch and nearly jumped out of his skin. “Bubbles, I need to go. I’m flying with Rosie today,” he quickly pulled away from his friend and stumbled towards the bed.

“Croz, no!”

Crosby and Bubbles grappled, Crosby fighting with all of his remaining energy as he tried to escape Bubbles’ hold. A jeep screeched into the grass off to the side and Bubbles was incredibly thankful for the pilot’s timing.

“Croz! Harry, look!” Bubbles grabbed Crosby’s head and forced him to look out the window. “He’s right there.”

“Rosie?” Croz murmured questioningly. His struggles slowed as he watched the pilot hop out of the jeep and make a beeline for Douglass and Blakely, faces pinched.

“Blake rang ‘im up a bit ago, said this would probably happen.” Bubbles explained. “You want me to bring him in? You have to sit down, though.” Crosby scrunched his nose, face flushing slightly out of embarrassment. The navigator nodded, allowing himself to be helped back to the edge of the cot.

He watched Bubbles exit the infirmary, craning his neck to look out the window. Much to his relief, he watched Bubbles jog out the front door towards Rosie, Blake, and Doug. Bubbles put an arm on Rosie’s shoulder as he talked, the others making their way over. Rosie nodded and immediately turned to go towards the front door, but Bubbles remained outside talking to the others. As Bubbles continued to speak to the rest of the flyboys, Crosby could tell exactly when he broke to them why he’d been so distant. Before Bubbles even finished, Hambone broke off from the group and stalked back towards the tree, shaking his head. DeMarco crouched down, busying himself by burying his hands into Meatball’s fur. Bucky’s face twisted into a frown, eyebrows drawn tight together and looking ready to argue. Buck put a hand on his shoulder, still listening intently but not looking any more pleased than the others.

Crosby slid down in the bed onto his back, the shame of everything starting to overwhelm him again. He brought his arms and covered his eyes with the back of his hands. The door swung open, followed by soft, but quick footsteps. The bed dipped and a hand carded through his hair. He dropped his hands down to his stomach and peered up at the pilot with lidded eyes. Rosie smiled and Crosby could only blink heavily.

“Go to sleep, Croz,” Rosie murmured. “Everyone’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Everyone?” Crosby mumbled. He glanced up towards the window, but all he could see was the blue of the sky.

“Everyone,” he reassured. His voice was firm and all-encompassing, leaving no need for any follow-up questions. Yet, Crosby still needed to ask one more.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

#not my best work but I needed it out of my system #this is entirely self indulgent #sorry it’s just not as thorough or well thought out like it’s very cheesey #but I didn’t want this to just keep sitting in my WIP folder #let me know if I should post it on ao3 idk if I will because it’s not very good #masters of the air #mota #harry crosby #Harry Crosby needs a hug #Harry Crosby needs help #Croz and Bubbles #Croz and Rosie #Croz and Everyone #ft many of your fave flyboys!#fanfic #Olie can see the future #I SWEAR I WROTE THIS BEFORE PART 8 #BUT I WAS WORRIED EVERYONE WOULD THINK I WAS LYING #mota musings

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atlaese · 2 years

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around the block - m.m.

prompt: "tourist asking for directions" summary: lost in the city that never sleeps you find the one man who shouldn't be able to help you navigate the city, yet his kindness makes everything better. pairing: reader x matt murdock tw: meet-cute, mentions of catholicism (a little joke about a priest), pure fluff tbh! words: 2K. a/n: this is my entry for @fluffyprettykitty's 1K celebration/writing challenge. congratulations again lovie!!! <3. i highly recommend everyone to check out her blog; she's so immensely talented and has something for everyone! <3 it's been a few weeks since I wrote for matty boy, but i just had to use this prompt for him. i hope you enjoy and i very much welcome any feedback <33

p.s. dividers by @firefly-graphics p.p.s. i now have a library blog! follow @aeristhotle to get notified when i update!

reblogs and feedback are appreciated ✨💗

matt murdock masterlist | all masterlists

You wouldn’t say you were lost per se. Lost was a word that you used for people who didn’t know who they were. People that had gone their whole lives as someone that they weren’t, someone formed by society.

You were just a bit confused at your current location.

You were somewhere in New York, that was obvious (you would recognize those green street signs anywhere). Yet, you had no clue what borough you were in.

In your opinion, it could either be Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queens or any of the other boroughs that made New York the beautiful city it was.

If you had prepared this impromptu day in the city better, you’d have charged your phone, brought a small map and perhaps met up with one of your friends that lived in the city.

But unfortunately, none of that happened.

You had to be in the city for a day to attend a meeting at a publisher for one of your clients. You were an independent PR manager, your company on the brink of exponential growth and you’d do a lot for the few clients you had. Flying in for a meeting in another state was not a problem if it meant putting out a good reputation for your company.

Once your flight arrived in the early morning hours, you got the bad news that your client came down with a sinus infection due to allergies and that the meeting was postponed until further notice. You loved spring, but the pollen really messed up your schedule.

If you had known this ahead, you’d have met up with a dear friend you knew from college, yet they too were unavailable due to a major walk-out at a client’s firm.

And for your phone… it was honestly a piece of shit. It stopped working when the battery level hit 28% and it also had trouble charging. You needed to bend the charging cable in a certain way for it to charge. Yes, you had been electrocuted twice already.

So there you were, all alone in New York City, less prepared than ever before.

But New Yorkers were friendly people, right?

You saw a lady pushing a stroller headed your way, her curls bouncing with every step she took as she had a determined look on her face.

“I’m sorry, can I ask something?” you spoke up, a friendly smile plastered on your face.

The woman didn’t even spare a glance as she walked on, and it was only in passing that you saw the white AirPods in her ears.

You didn’t get discouraged though, as you spotted a man with a suit who seemed to know his way around the city.

“I’m sorry, could I trouble you for a second?”

The man looked at you with big green eyes, a deer caught in the headlights.

“Excusez-moi, no English, je ne parle pas anglais, désolé.”

“Oh, sorry,” you muttered, embarrassment flooding your entire being. This whole day had morphed from a normal business trip into something where nothing went right. It felt like the equivalent of walking around with socks only to then step into a puddle of water. It wasn’t a nice feeling.

The only positive thing about today might have been the weather.

Summer had just arrived in New York. It was the time just before the pressing heat that would make the city feel like a bubble that was about to burst. There was a light breeze for you to enjoy, the sun’s beams were warming your skin, making you wish you could read your book in the shade of a tree in Central Park. These were the days that made hauling a book with you every day worth it.

Yet, as much as you wished to go there, you had absolutely no idea how to get there.

You stood in front of a church and you had a few options here. You could go inside and bother the priest for directions (would that count as blasphemy?), or you could bother the sunglasses-wearing man that was sitting on the bench next to the entrance.

Your choice was quickly made. No need to bother the man of faith when you could bother the handsome stranger with a slight scruff and perfectly coiffed hair.

The man didn’t react as you sat down next to him, his suit in a crisp state as he seemed to just be enjoying the nice weather during his lunch break.

“I’m so sorry to bother you,” you said, an apologetic look on your face, “but I’m a little lost, do you know where exactly we are?”

The man tilted his head your way in confusion, he could have been daydreaming and hadn’t even noticed you sitting down.

“Oh I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you!”

“It’s fine,” he said, licking his lips and sitting up a bit straighter. “We’re in Hell’s Kitchen at the moment, but hearing your accent I’ve got a feeling you’re not familiar with the place.”

You let out a little scoff but laughed nonetheless.

“You’ve got a good ear, I am indeed not really familiar with the boroughs, unfortunately. I just need to find my way to Central Park.”

“Got something to do in Central Park?” he inquired, tilting his head in question. His glasses were tinted in a dark colour, not giving any sign of what colour eyes would be hidden behind them.

“I was just gonna read a bit in the shade before going back to my hotel,” you said. “My meeting was cancelled last minute so now I have the day to spend here.”

“The quintessential New Yorker experience,” he nodded, a ghost of a smile painted on his lips. “Can’t say I wouldn’t do the same.”

You smiled at his remark, happy that the native New Yorker wouldn’t shun you for doing something like that.

“Anyway, I have some time to spare, I can walk with you to the park,” he said, quickly looking at the church’s entrance.

“Oh, really? That would honestly make my day!”

The day really had done a 180 spin. At this point, you were grateful to get directions, so the fact that he would walk you all the way back made you want to hug him.

You stood up from the bench, failing to hide the smile on your face. Well, he deserved to know how happy this made you.

But then, your smile faltered a bit. Or a lot even, the smile replaced by your jaw that had gone slack.

The man had stood up as well, his sunglasses still perched on his nose, his bag slung over his one shoulder and a white cane in his opposite hand.

A white cane, which was first folded up and laying next to him, was an inconspicuous item that you hadn’t even noticed in your rush to find your current location.

Maybe that was the moment you felt truly lost. Lost in your subconscious, perhaps, because you really needed to pay attention to your surroundings.

“Oh,” you let out, shaking your head in confusion and gesturing for him to let it be, that you’d ask someone else.

“Are you gesturing right now?” he asked, a sly smile on his lips as his tongue wet them once more.

Was he… was he laughing at you? Laughing at the confusion that surrounded you, the fact that the one thing you shouldn’t do in front of a blind person was to gesture?

“Yeah, I am so incredibly sorry,” you apologized. If a small thundercloud would come floating above your head and let the rain pour down on only you, you wouldn’t even mind. It could be karma.

“It’s okay, really,” he laughed, “I can still show you the way, I’m quite the navigator.”

He held out his left arm, a welcoming smile on his face.

“Take my arm and then we’ll walk to the park together.”

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t want you to do something out of your comfort zone.”

“My name is Matt Murdock and my comfort zone encompasses the whole of New York City, just accept my help.”

You laughed at his confident nature and introduction and loosely wrapped your right arm around his left as you let your name softly slip past your lips.

“So, y/n, what do you do that makes you come to the city?”

Matt started walking, a steady rhythm of thumps on the concrete as his cane hit the ground. You fell into step with him, a comfortable tread that was just fast enough for the both of you.

“I’m in PR,” you explained, “I was only supposed to be here today for a meeting, but my client got sick.”

“And you decided to go out on an adventure?”

“Yeah, but unfortunately I wasn’t very well prepared,” you laughed. “But it seems that my day was made a million times better now that I’ve got my own personal guide!”

Matt laughed, and for the whole way to the park, you talked about everything and nothing.

Matt explained his job, hence why he was dressed so fancily and why he could just take a two-hour lunch.

You told him about your dreams of owning a bigger company & he told you about his colleague and best friend, Foggy.

“Well, according to my memory, we should be at the park,” Matt announced as you rounded the corner. “Could you confirm that we are indeed at an entrance?”

“Affirmative,” you said, softly squeezing his bicep in excitement. “Does it make me a horrible human if I told you I’m glad my client called in sick?”

A laugh rumbled up through his chest, making him softly shake as you glanced up at him. The rays of the sun were hitting his face just right, giving a small glimpse at the eyes that were a little less hidden beneath the sunglasses. They seemed to be a beautiful brown, with thick lashes framing them.

“It doesn’t, not in my professional opinion at least.”

You slowly unwrapped yourself from his arm, signalling that this was the point where your ways would part.

“Thank you, Matt, really, I still would have been walking around Hell’s Kitchen like a chicken without a head without you.”

“It’s not a problem, I enjoyed this… little walk with you,” he smiled, tilting his head down in response. “I’m glad I met you.”

“I’m glad my distress makes you happy,” you joked. “No, I’m kidding I’m really glad I met you, too.”

“Unfortunately, I have to get back to my office, but next time you’re in the city you might want to get lost in Hell’s Kitchen again.”

“Lost in front of the church, where a man is sitting on a bench?”

Matt nodded as he got his phone out of his bag and held it out to you.

“I’d love it if you wanted to give me your number? You’d never be lost in the city again, I swear.”

Matt turned out to be right.

You got to know each other even better through the lengthy late-night phone calls and quick e-mails during lunch. During the late evenings in your office, you put each other on speaker to have some company - you would be working on a campaign and he would be preparing his opening statements for a case.

The publisher in New York decided to get you on retainer, meaning that you had to be in the city at least twice a month. It also meant that you got to be with each other a lot more.

And in the end, you really never got lost in that city again, because he was always there to guide you around the block.

#matt murdock reader insert #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock fic #matt murdock imagine #matt murdock fanfic #matt murdock blurb #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x y/n #matt murdock #daredevil fic #daredevil blurb #daredevil imagine #daredevil #marvel’s daredevil #mcu #marvel #ariwrites

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fatalfangirl · 1 year

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It's the last day of 2022 and drawing some inspiration from @captain-aralias, I thought I'd look back at my participation in fandom over the past year.

Fics I Wrote Alone

Bound and Determined - Explicit - 52k (last 1/3 published in 2022)

Playing the Field - Explicit - 7k

The Payout - Mature - 500

Dead in Vegas - Mature - 8.7k

The Beautiful Game - Teen - 10k

More Than Friends - Explicit - 6.3k

Fic I Wrote With Others

Keep it Down - Explicit - 5.3k (~2k mine) with @whatevertheweather

Plus One - Teen - 9.8k (~4k mine) with @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

Fanart I Made

Embroidery for Local Hero by @basic-banshee and breadofgod

Embroidery for Brazen by @whatevertheweather

Embroidery for The Spanking Dream by @skeedelvee

Below are some thoughts, highlights, and favorite fics I read this year.

Overall Themes: Football and Sex

Looking at my fics from 2022, there are two clear themes that stand out: football and sex. Two fics heavily feature football (Playing the Field and The Beautiful Game) and only two fics are below a mature rating. What can I say? I'm here for a good time.

The year started out with me writing about soccer because in the prompt for Playing the Field, @aristocratic-otter (who I wrote this fic for) mentioned liking when writers dig into a topic they're familiar with. Soccer was such a huge part of my identity up into my mid late 20s when I eventually got too injured to continue playing. Going back to the sport, the feelings and community of it, through fics has been a way for me to reconnect with something I love but no longer participate in directly.

As for the sex... hahaha I just like smut, I guess. And I like exploring intimacy through the act of sex. My two longer fics Bound and Determined and More Than Friends (which isn't long yet, but will be) both play in that space.

The Good and the Bad of 2022

The Good: I completed multiple chaptered fics this year! I met fandom friends in Vegas!!

The Bad: I was too hard on myself and my writing, and I ended up burning out for a chunk of the summer.

The Long Story: I started off strong in this fandom with a fic that is more popular than I ever thought it would be. Then I struggled the rest of the year with coming up with the ability/motivation to finish another chaptered fic.

Dead in Vegas was never going to get the reception of Bound and Determined and I knew that going in, but I love this dumb action movie idea so I put a lot of pressure on myself to make it good. That blew up in my face. I already walk a fine line with loving/hating my own writing, but the way I overanalyzed everything in DiV started to make me feel like shit. So I took a break. I started reading more and making fanart through my embroidery.

I almost bailed on writing The Beautiful Game because I was still struggling with these questions of the quality of my writing, my ability to write within a desired timeframe, this concerned that "nothing will be as good as B&D." But I thought, hey, what if I just write these short scenes, nothing crazy, and I just allow myself to accept my writing as "good enough."

The Beautiful Game isn't that long, really, but it showed I could finish another chaptered project. Which in turn made me think I could give this friends with benefits idea I've been kicking around a go.

So I'm back at the end of the year feeling hopeful and inspired and being more kind to myself 🎉

Favorite Fics I Read This Year

In no particular order, here are the top 11 fics I read this year (I tried to narrow down to 10, I really did, but I couldn't!)

London Loves Us Only by imjusthereforthefreefood - Explicit - 47k - Why I love it: Gorgeous imagery. Intense longing. Cinematic writing.

A Pint's a Pound by @stillmadaboutpetra - Explicit - 32k - Why I love it: Extremely witty. Deranged thirst. Baking rivals!!

What's Left by @cutestkilla - Mature - 134k - Why I love it: Amazing narrative. Beauty within grief. Sid forever.

The Space In Between by @whatevertheweather - Mature - 101k - Why I love it: Darkly funny. Unapologetically raw. The BEST payoff.

The tears of Mummers House by @chen-chen-chen-again-chen - Teen - 4k - Why I love it: Beautiful in its simplicity. Clever characterization. Mama house 😭

Come and Get Me by @kherub - Explicit - 4.5k - Why I love it: Vivid imagery. Hot hot HOT. Feral Simon 🥵

Restoration Ecology by @captain-aralias - Explicit - 51k - Why I love it: Brilliant canon-divergence. Intimacy vs. sex. Intimacy AND sex.

He Who Fights Too Long Against Dragons... by @technetiumai - Teen - 16k - Why I love it: Incredible lore. Dragon Simon. Unexpectedly beautiful.

Local Hero by @basic-banshee and breadofgod - Teen - 57k - Why I love it: Sports as community. Quiet love. Iconic music.

Crosse My Heart by @creepyspice - Explicit - 4.6k - Why I love it: Sports as foreplay. Amazing characterization. HOT sex.

Ready or Not by @bookish-bogwitch - Explicit - 21k - Why I love it: Hilarious writing. Surprisingly emotional. Leans IN.

I've talked about all of these in more detail at one point or another in my Fic Rec Friday posts...which I need to be better about doing/tagging. (You can see all my recs here.)

Goals for 2023

Writing: The plan is finish both More Than Friends and Dead in Vegas next year, but my goal is to take my time and just allow myself to write as I can. Ease up on stressing over how slow I am to update. Beyond these two fics, I'd love to actually write my leashed-Simon B&D side story and maybe get around to that bareknuckle boxing fic.

Reading: I have such a back catalogue of fics to read! I've been sticking to shorter fics lately, but it's time to dig into the chaptered content that's been sitting on my tbr list. Many of my top fics I read this year are longer, chaptered stories. Time to get back on that train.

Community: Make more fanart! I'm getting more comfortable with embroidery and it has been fun finding ways to capture fics in that format. I'd also love to visit a few more folks/join meet ups. I had so much fun in Vegas this year and would love to see people again.

So there we have it. My first full year in the fandom comes to a close. Thank you for being part of this journey and here's to 2023!

#my fic #my embroidery #fic rec #thank you everyone for a very memorable fandom year!

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haloburns · 1 year

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ectoblastfromthepast fanfic review 2022

oh man this was a big writing year. i published more than double what the last eight years on ao3, and i've written probably about an extra 100k that i haven't/cant be published yet. dove into two big phandom events this year (phic phight and invisobang) and wrote almost 90k for each. got burnt out from those and struggled to finish the year strong, but was able to post some stuff in december anyway!

Fic Count: 42 new, 1 carried over Overall Word Count: 369,436 Fandoms: Danny Phantom, Wynonna Earp and Charmed (crossovers with DP), Percy Jackson, and Bones

1. totally worth it

Fandom: Percy Jackson Pairing: Percy/Annabeth (Percabeth) Rating: G Total Word Count: 171 words Completion Date: 03-09-2022 Notes: I wrote this when i was working on fluff practice for ghost light, and a friend of mine asked for this. first and only PJO fic so far, but it's cute and dumb and i like it a lot. this is the shortest thing i wrote this year!

2. it never hurt like this before (and now it's too late to lie)

Fandom: Bones (2005) Pairing: Temperance Brennan & Angela Montenegro Rating: G Total Word Count: 862 words Completion Date: 03-07-2022 Notes: Also a first and only for this fandom. Rewatched the show, and there's an episode where Bones, the MC, sees too much of herself in their case and it kinda fucks her up. She tells her partner, Booth, she loves him. But he's already in a relationship, so he gently turns her down. the episode ends with her leaving and crying, and i wanted her to have some catharsis. the idea stuck with me and i wrote it pretty much in one sitting.

Danny Phantom Works (under the cut because... well... y'all know lmao)

3. when you sneeze so hard you accidentally half-die in front of your boyfriend for the first time

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar (OC) Rating: G Total Word Count: 297 words Completion Date: 05-02-2022 Notes: I was in the midst of allergy season and i was very angry abt it so i took it out on my blorbos lmao my original end fic note: "but no literally im posting this waiting on my inhaler for my allergies by my entire state is trying to kill me. fuck kentucky, fuck maple trees in particular, and fuck myalgic encephalomyelitis 😭 there's so much pollen on my car 😭😭😭"

4. something's not quite right...

Pairing: None Rating: G Total Word Count: 501 words Completion Date: 10-04-2022 Notes: This is an Ectober prompt fill, and it fills in a chronological gap leading up to my invisobang. I had a lot of fun writing CW's pov and in present tense, something i don't do often.

5. second death by allergy attack

Pairing: None Rating: G Total Word Count: 1,024 words Completion Date: 10-22-2022 Notes: I promise i wasn't still having allergy issues by this point lmao this is an ancient wip i had that i started back in my early fandom days but never finished. the idea is gone, my notes are incomprehensible, so i cleaned it up and posted what i had! it's a non-au work, one of very few i posted this year

6. sin fransisco (dp x charmed)

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: Teen Total Word Count: 1,107 words Completion Date: Started 06-17-2022, WIP Notes: This fic I started bc I'd been toying with a Charmed/AU crossover for a while (still angling for a buffy one...) and the Charmed episode of the same title proved the perfect opportunity. had to figure shit out and it's been stalled in limbo as more important/deadline sensitive fics came to the forefront. I have another 2k written, but it's not ready for publishing

7. teach me how to fight

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: Teen Total Word Count: 1,206 words Completion Date: 10-05-2022 Notes: Another Ectober prompt fill, this one is a really cute fighting practice between Danny and Teo after the events of Invisobang. Surprisingly stayed very SFW, even though this could easily stray into NSFW territory lmao

8. love at first fight

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Danny Phantom (Pitch Pearl) Rating: G Total Word Count: 1,244 words Completion Date: 09-21-2022 Notes: This is a pitch pearl coffee shop enemies to lovers au that i started with Trance and Emeralds it has been SO MUCH FUN. i love this fic. this is the meet cute in the Perky Beans Cafe AU

9. the last night of sadness (it was clear he couldn't go on)

Pairing: None Rating: G Total Word Count: 1,441 words Completion Date: 10-06-2022 Notes: JOAN MY BELOVED i wrote this fic for Ectober, it's an outsider POV for my invisobang with an OC i created. she's a medium that isn't aware of that, and she and danny become friends later on. it's very good and emotional, and the writing style was a lot more fun to mess around with in something that wasn't majorly important to the AU but still fun to write

10. one... two... wait, how many are there?

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: G Total Word Count: 1,608 words Completion Date: 04-30-2022 Notes: PHIC PHIGHT BABEY. i woke up on the last day of phight with this idea in my head. it's little, and it's mostly just filler in around the series, but i love it so much. dan is babey

11. walk the white line at midnight (dp x wynonna earp)

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Danny Phantom (Pitch Pearl) Rating: G Total Word Count: 1,667 words Completion Date: 09-10-2022 Notes: another pitch pearl fic based on my favorite other show wynonna earp. danny is wynonna, and phantom is doc holliday. i want to do more with this au but it takes time to translate it and mix the two

12. you’re the best thing to happen to me

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: G Total Word Count: 1,780 words Completion Date: 11-22-2022 Notes: i wrote this as a tumblr prompt i think a year before i published this as fluff practice. then i realized i could actually make it fit properly in the au and brushed it off and dusted it up so it was suitable for the AU. it's very cute

13. hold onto me

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: G Total Word Count: 1,793 words Completion Date: 10-02-2022 Notes: this is a shiptember prompt and it was basically an excuse to write danny taking care of mateo. i write a lot of mateo taking care of danny, and i decided it was time to turn the tables.

14. with every sin, i still wanna be holy

Pairing: None Rating: G Total Word Count: 1,926 words Completion Date: 12-16-2022 Notes: This one is a set of notes, no actual prose, that Dan sends to the people he wants to make amends to. It also has pictures on the notes that I've drawn in addition to the writing

15. by all means i'm gettin' mad (that don't mean i don't feel sorry for you)

Pairing: None Rating: G Total Word Count: 2,288 words Completion Date: 10-10-2022 Notes: Another Dan fic, where Danny goes to talk to him about his sentence post-invisobang, and the tenuous relationship they start to build. I loved writing this one, I love Dan 💖

16. feed the boy (like and subscribe!)

Pairing: None Rating: G Total Word Count: 2,663 words Completion Date: 04-21-2022 Notes: Phic Phight! Danny has to eat fear, and they find a fun way to do it. Involves pranking Wes and teenage shenanigans, which are always the best

17. my resistance was once much stronger (i can't go on like this much longer)

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: G Total Word Count: 2,694 words Completion Date: Started 10-23-2022, WIP Notes: this is one of the last pieces for the "this is the road to ruin" arc, the last big one. i'm very very excited to finish this

18. heaven's grief brings hell's reign

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo AguilarRating: T (eventually E) Total Word Count: 2,860 words Completion Date: Started 09-25-2022, WIP Notes: This fic has been fighting me forever, I wanted to finish it before the year was up but I did not. It's the smut. Soft smut is not my forte apparently

19. see the lightning in your eyes

Pairing: None Rating: G Total Word Count: 2,964 words Completion Date: 04-27-2022 Notes: a phic phight prompt i LOVE. lost time my beloved 💖

20. you better promise me i'll be back in time

Pairing: None Rating: G Total Word Count: 2,990 words Completion Date: Started 04-27-2022, WIP Notes: another phic phight, and this is one i'm so eager to continue. i've started chapter two, i just haven't finished it yet!

21. morning adrenaline rush

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: T Total Word Count: 3,397 words Completion Date: 09-05-2022 Notes: A continuation of "i'm not okay (i promise)" that didn't fit in the story but I wanted to tell so badly

22. i tried hard to make it inside your arms alive

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: T Total Word Count: 4,050 words Completion Date: 10-14-2022 Notes: ohhhhhh this one is so good. it's mateo's pov of what happens in "this is the road to ruin" at the end and... man. it's hard. it's very emo and i love it. good angst.

23. does anyone in this house knock?!

Pairing: None Rating: G Total Word Count: 4,156 words Completion Date: 04-21-2022 Notes: a lovely Good Fenton Parents fic post-reveal from Phic Phight. i love this fic so much. the first one is soft and sad and sweet, and the second one is funny and sweet

24. new kinds of firsts

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: T Total Word Count: 4,387 words Completion Date: 09-27-2022 Notes: Writing Danny and Mateo's first date after everything theyve been through was so much fucking fun. They're so cute and stupid, i love them

25. decaf to fenton, we have a problem

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: G Total Word Count: 4,599 words Completion Date: 04-30-2022 Notes: I recently reread this fic from Phight and oh man. oh man it's good. and so funny.

26. sore loser

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: E Total Word Count: 5,024 words Completion Date: 09-30-2022 Notes: this is purely indulgent smut with zero plot whatsoever. i'm very proud of it. it's the first kinky thing i've posted which took a lot of courage. i worked on it for months before finally posting

27. four years, that's all you've got to endure

Pairing: None Rating: G Total Word Count: 5,118 words Completion Date: 02-12-2022 Notes: Swore to the gods I wrote this in 2021... turns out i did not! i want to do more high school shenanigans with danny and the gang, but i gotta think up some first...

28. slip through my fingers

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Danny Phantom (Pitch Pearl) Rating: G Total Word Count: 6,356 words Completion Date: 11-20-2022 Notes: part three of the coffee shop au!! i love this one so much. the chase??? gods, i love that trope. i really need to finish the next part of this...

29. a christmas surprise

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: T Total Word Count: 6,447 words Completion Date: Started 12-26-2022, WIPNotes: I am literally the worst at finishing holiday fics on time. a hallmark ghost light au i have YET to complete.

30. in the shadow of your heart

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: T Total Word Count: 6,609 words Completion Date: Started 06-18-2022, WIP Notes: This is a self-indulgent Atlantis au i have also yet to finish. me?? starting fics i never finish??? neverrrr

31. when the nightmare fades

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: T 2022 Word Count: 6,105 words Total Word Count: 7,014 words Completion Date: 05-26-2022 Notes: I started this way back in like. november of '21, when i started the series. but it took me six more months for canon to catch up so i could finish it. and the last three chapters changed so drastically from beginning to end... man. it feels like it took forever, but i really only took six months??? wild

32. longer than the song of the whippoorwill

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: E Total Word Count: 7,244 words Completion Date: 07-27-2022 Notes: this is the first smut of the series!! my favorite bookmark comment on the series actually relates to this one. its something like "the tags say there is pornfic. i do not see it. maybe ao3 is bugging. EDIT 7/27: FOUND IT!" it cracks me up every time. do they enjoy the pornfic or are they enraged??? i will never know also it's got actual plot in it so i was more comfortable posting it first than say... sore loser that has 0 plot and is literally just smutty

33. nine and a half lives

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: G Total Word Count: 8,804 words Completion Date: 04-18-2022 Notes: THIS IS MY FAVORITE PHIC PHIGHT PROMPT EVER. KITTEN!DANNY. WHOEVER CAME UP WITH THAT (wait i thInk it was catmiint. my beloved.) IS THE BEST. IT ALSO HAS DOOFENSCHMIRTZ IN IT BECAUSE I COULDNT HELP MYSELF (yes u read that correctly. THAT doofenschmirtz)

34. against doctor's orders

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: T Total Word Count: 9,976 words Completion Date: 07-14-2022 Notes: I also really love this one. kinda plot-adjacent but mostly Relationship Stuff, talking and smooching. it's great. i get to flesh out my other OCs too which is fun

35. i fought you for so long (i should have let you in)

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Valerie Gray Rating: G Total Word Count: 11,740 words Completion Date: 04-07-2022 Notes: What's this?! a gray ghost fic?! yeah, its a phic phight prompt and i love it. its got some great textures, and it was a lot of fun to write in val's pov for a little bit

36. such a big, big world (and only the tools to deal with a tiny portion of it)

Pairing: None (hints at Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: G Total Word Count: 11,809 words Completion Date: 04-30-2022 Notes: big thanks to bib again for this title, it's literally one of my favorites. this whole thing is great, it's mostly the OCs talking about danny and his weirdness in the early school months. did i use phic phight to flesh out my au a little more?? yes, yes i did (and i'm sure annoyed people endlessly. oh well.)

37. hey, dad, look at me, did i grow up according to plan?

Pairing: None Rating: G Total Word Count: 11,847 words Completion Date: 04-18-2022 Notes: good (learning) parents fenton!! this follows immediately after my version of phantom planet where danny only reveals himself to his parents, and this is their reactions. the kitchen chapter is my favorite.

38. wait til the day you finally see (i've been here waiting patiently)

Pairing: Danny Fenton/OC Tony, Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: T Total Word Count: 11,958 words Completion Date: 10-23-2022 Notes: *vibrates out of my chair* this one is a whim fic (yes almost all 12k) bc of a weird throwaway line in an earlier fic and i couldnt help but make mateo a little jealous of tony. and then proceed to write 12, angsty, angsty k about it. that last chapter is so fucking good, yall can thank dream_trance for that one. its one of his ideas given extra spicy life

39. and they were history project partners

Pairing: None Rating: G Total Word Count: 17,278 words Completion Date: 04-30-2022 Notes: (i finished so many phics 4-30...) Dunno what it was about phic phight but I think i wrote two wes-related fics??? i either wrote Srs fics or Meme Fics, it seems. (wes is always a meme) but this one is one of my best. i also have a UFS version planned for. eventually. maybe.

40. quit telling everyone i'm (permanently) dead!

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: M Total Word Count: 23,607 words Completion Date: Started , WIP Notes: I AM SO MAD I DIDN'T FINISH THIS ONE BEFORE THE END OF THE YEAR. listen. i worked my ass off. but then the boys decided on drama, and then i went back to work.... i'm almost done though. only an extra 6k hanging around........ :sob:

41. it's just another day without you (and i can't sleep)

Pairing: eventual Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: T Total Word Count: 37,175 words Completion Date: 01-29-2022 Notes: i'm SUPER proud of this one, especially because i fucked around with narrative stuff, but i think its too subtle to be noticeable... still love it tho.

42. i'm not okay (i promise)

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: T Total Word Count: 38,838 words Completion Date: 05-08-2022 Notes: another proud baby. the culmination (kind of) of months of planning and many, many rewrites. i think i was working on this one in tandem with phic phight, actually...

43. this is the road to ruin (and we started at the end)

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: M Total Word Count: 88,917 words Completion Date: Notes: …my four biggest works can literally be summed up "i cause danny and mateo excessive amounts of angst and pain for fun." MY INVISOBANG. MY BELOVED. LOOK AT IT. I SPENT ALMOST NINE MONTHS ON THIS FUCKER. IT IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER WRITTEN. I CAN SCREAM ABOUT THIS FOREVER. LOOK AT THAT WORD COUNT. literally one of the first fics i thought of for the au, and i posted it over a year later. (got the idea in sept. '21, i finished publishing like... two days shy of an exact year.)

Man... this last year was a WILD writing year. and this is just what i published. y'all should see my wips.

#danny phantom #fanfic review 2022 #fanfic review #kind of an ask/tag game but not really #yes it took me three days to do this LEAVE ME ALONE

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taliasburns · 5 years

Text

POSIE / HIZZIE HIGHSCHOOL AU (NO POWERS)

i promised this like ages ago so pls dont hate me but heres 2k of me writing yet another semi fic that started out as headcanons and ended up with me writing a story. (also you can pry cheer captain! penelope park from my cold dead hands) (a huge thanks to @posh-with-2-fields for helping me write this)

hope: big ass loner in school but last year she punched rafael waithe in the face after he harassed a girl (the girl was lizzie Saltzman, whom she is completely in love with) so everyone admires her (the guys are kinda scared of her)

josie: the quiet saltzman twin, really fucking smart. she’s in the school like orchestra thing (school band??) and she plays piano. she also plays in the field hockey team with her twin. (she wants to focus on her music but she’s afraid of what lizzie will say)

penelope park: ur perfect hbic, captain of the cheer squad. super smart and openly gay. (she’s a fucking rebel, can tear you down with her words and all the girls wanna get in her pants)

lizzie saltzman: hbic 2.0, captain of the field hockey team. secretly in love with hope ever since the girl punched raf in the face when he was harassing her in the locker room. she just admires hope from afar bc she’s afraid her reputation will fall if she were to ask hope out

then they have to do a group project (with a partner). Lizzie gets paired with hope and josie gets paired with penelope

lizzie and hope work on the project in the twins room. Lizzie told josie to go to penelope’s dorm (“josie don’t you dare fall for her charms”)

(people say penelope is a player and people know her as a player (surprise surprise shes not)

So, lizzie being completely in love with hope (but still denying it) keeps accidentally flirting with hope and hope being the useless gay she is gets completely flustered whenever she does it. (lizzie keeps touching her and she CANT DEAL WITH THE SOFT TOUCHES)

Penelope and josie meet up to work on the project on days penelope doesn’t have cheer practice (josie loves how seriously she takes being captain, on Fridays she has practice early so they can still work on their project and penelope always tells her how proud she is of the girls on her squad)

(josie is slowly finding out penelope is definitely not the heartless bitch lizzie describes her as) (maybe she is slowly falling for the charm that is penelope park) (maybe she’s okay with that)

on the days penelope has cheer practice she has to walk by the music room to get to her dorm. Since two weeks ago there has been a girl in there playing piano and singing. (penelope first heard her two weeks ago, now she sits against the door every Monday and Wednesday listening to this girl play and sing)

she doesn’t know who the girl is. (the girl locks the door behind her (yes penelope tried to open it once) she might be falling in love with her voice (she tries to find that voice every school day (shes afraid she’ll never find the girl).

At the same time penelope starts to fall for josie Saltzman. Her soft smiles, her willingness to help other people, her terrible jokes (she tells josie they’re terrible, she loves them). She asks pedro (the kid she tutors) if it’s possible to fall for 2 people at the same time.

While they’re working on the project hope and lizzie get to know each other and grow closer. Lizzie tells hope how much she hates the fact that her mom and dad are always travelling, that they never have time for her and josie. Hope shows lizzie the painting she made of her dad (he died 7 years ago, hope still misses him more than anything)

Hope loves how she and lizzie have become friends (it still stings when lizzie treats her as a mere acquaintance when in the presence of her friends, she tells herself that having a friendship behind closed doors is enough (it’s not)

3 days before they have to present the project to their class penelope’s roommate decides to invite her boyfriend over. Josie and penelope cant use the twins dorm either because hope and lizzie are working on their project in there so josie suggests they use the music room. She tells penelope she has a key to that room so she can practice during after school hours. (when josie sits down at the piano and starts playing a quick tune penelope recognizes the song as the same one she heard mystery piano girl play yesterday)

That is the moment penelope park realizes two girls shes falling in love with (the one with the beautiful voice and the one with the soft smiles and terrible jokes) are actually the same girl.

Back at the twins dorm hope and lizzie are sitting on lizzies bed joking around (they finished the project like 3 hours ago)

After a joke hope makes she falls into lizzie and when she looks up lizzie’s face is suddenly very close to hers, she decides to just go for it and kisses lizzie (who is she kidding she has been trying to pick up the courage to kiss lizzie for years (she has been a bit in love with the girl ever since she first saw her at freshman year)

Lizzie kisses back for a few seconds before she suddenly rips herself away and jumps from the bed. And asks hope what the hell shes doing.

Hope is like... i thought you would be okay with this. Lizzie tells her she would never want to date a girl or kiss a girl let alone hope of all people (2 seconds after she says this she hates herself for saying it, it may have something to do with absolute broken look on hopes face)

Hope’s still standing in her room and lizzie doesn’t know what to do (she’s afraid shell break down crying if hope doesn’t leave soon)

Hope is starting to walk towards her so she yells out get the fuck away from me mikaelson (she hasn’t called hope “mikaelson” in weeks, it sounds foreign on her tongue, she hates it)

After hope basically runs out of the door she collapses on her bed silently crying. After a few minutes she hears the telltale sound of josies laugh coming down from the hallway (her heart hurts knowing josie found her person, that she dares to be open about who she loves) she doesn’t want to take her sisters happy moment away so she pretends to be asleep

The following days leading up to the presentation hope somehow manages to avoid every type of interaction with lizzie (one time she literally jumps out of a window to avoid being in the same room as lizzie)

Lizzie tells herself its fine, she tells herself her reputation would have been ruined (she’s not fine, her eyes automatically look for hope in every room and she misses her more than anything)

On the day of the presentation hope walks into the classroom. Lizzie thinks her heart might have skipped a beat (maybe even 3).

Penelope’s and josies presentation is flawless. (lizzie feels a pang when she sees the absolute adoration in both penelopes and josies eyes, she glances at hope, the girl is pointedly staring at the board)

Lizzies and hopes presentation goes off without a hitch, still lizzie feels like her stomach is filled with lead (this may have something to do with hope avoiding all eye contact and her walking out of the classroom the moment the class is over)

After class penelope walks up to josie, building up the courage to finally ask the girl out (at first josie doesn’t understand, “but pen, the project is over, you don’t have to hang out with me if you don’t want to”)

After that penelope just blurts out she wants to take josie out on a date (josie blushes profusely and stammers out a yes). Penelope secretly does a tiny fist pump (josie totally sees it)

They have their first date in the music room (but josie, babe, for me this is the place where it all started) and penelope kisses josie right after josie finishes the song she played when penelope first heard her (you sat here all these days and i had no idea!!)

Its a week after the presentations and hope is still not talking to lizzie (lizzie is starting to doubt if her reputation is worth all this pain) (people are starting to notice her staring at hope all the time too, shes not even sure if that bothers her anymore)

It all comes to head when penelope asks her about hope. (ever since penelope got paired up with josie their relationship has been less strained, now that pen is dating josie they even consider themselves friends)

Lizzie breaks down (penelope freaks out at first and texts josie to come to the twins dorm a s a p) and eventually lizzie tells josie and penelope everything. About hope, about having fallen for the girl, about them growing closer, about hope kissing her. And about lizzie freaking out, being afraid of her reputation falling, and pushing hope away so far shes afraid shell never get the girl back.

Josie tries to talk to her but eventually it’s penelope’s words that stick with lizzie (honestly liz, reputation isn’t important, in 10 years everyone will forget about who you were in high school, especially all these other “popular bitches”, the people who stay with you are the important ones, hope is one of those people)

After this lizzie starts to actually be herself, not the version she wanted to be to stay popular. She sits with penelope and josie (usually mg, kaleb, jed, and landon join)

When one of the players from the football team asks her out during lunch break she finds herself saying no. When he asks why she tells him shes in love with someone else and that this girl is so much better than him. (lizzie later realizes that she basically came out to the whole school, in the moment itself, all she saw was hope mikaelson staring at her from across the room)

A week later Rafael waithe again manages to corner her in the locker room (taunting her about the fact that a date with him will get her straight again)

He starts walking towards her but before he can set 3 steps someone steps in front of him and punches him in the face (lizzie knows its hope, she’d recognize her anywhere)

After Rafael walks away (once again with a broken nose) hope asks her if shes okay (hope is talking to her and lizzie has never been more okay)

Hope starts to walk away (im glad you’re okay lizzie)

Before she can do that lizzie grabs her hand, spins her around and kisses her. Hope stands still for a full 2 seconds (lizzie starts to back away thinking she made a mistake, that she truly went too far, that hope will never forgive her) before she grabs lizzie and smashes their lips together

When they finally catch their breaths (hope has lizzie pinned against the lockers) hope asks her what changed.

Lizzie just tells her she changed (and that someone made her realize hope is worth so much more than a freaking reputation and girls she doesn’t even want to be friends with) (she also tells her shes so sorry for the way she treated hope, that she wont ever forgive herself for doing that)

Hope just smiles and kisses her again (they stay in the locker room so long the janitor has to pull them out of it)

3 weeks later penelope walks away from her cheer practice with lizzie (who just finished her own practice) when they walk through the school they hear music coming from the music room. When penelope opens the door they find josie and hope sitting by the piano. Josie is trying to learn hope a song (even though hope sucks at playing piano)

They both look up at the same time seeing their girlfriends (softly smiling at them from the door opening, wondering how they got so lucky)

#legacies #hizzie #posie #legaciesdaily #so i wrote yet another 2k of shit #and its still no fic #my hcs #anyway you can pry this au from my cold dead hands #long post #fic #p #hs au #josie saltzman #lizzie saltzman #hope mikaelson #penelope park

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cafedanslanuit · 2 years

Text

PART ONE: I’M THROUGH // PART TWO: CORNER OF YOUR HEART

♡ — pairing: dabi x reader

♡ — summary: Being a journalist in a corrupt hero society comes with the price of learning the truth. Of course, it would be easier to swallow if you weren't also seeing a villain in secret.

♡ — tags/warnings: gn reader + no pronouns, reader is a journalist, heroes + villains society, cursing, mentions of communism (???), an overall critique or hero society, mentions of misoginy in media, smoking, surprisingly no angst in this chapter despite the chosen song

♡ — words: 2k

♡ — a/n: this was another commission i wrote for my always amazing friend @requindeterre <3 (psssssst my commissions are open rn!)

I'm going out again tonight, the first time in the longest time. He holds the door and holds my hand but doesn't feel like you.

— I'm through by Ingrid Michaelson

“Shit, I’m so s―”

The apology died on your lips the moment you recognized the dark mat of hair you just crashed into. Before you could get closer to get a better look at his face, the man had already disappeared. Immediately, you turned on your heel, only to watch a tall frame with hands in his pockets and a torn leather jacket over his shoulders disappear into the crowd.

In the middle of the busy street and completely dumbfounded, you tried to piece together what had just happened. It couldn’t have been him, right? If it had, then he would have recognized you, wouldn’t have walked past you as if you didn’t exist―

On second thought, he might as well have.

A hand gently grabbed your elbow. “Are you okay?”

You turned your head and your eyes fell on the man who was looking down on you with a concerned expression. Giving him your best-practised smile, you nodded.

“Yeah, sorry about that.” You expected him to let go of your arm after reassuring him, yet he took the opportunity to loop his arm with yours and keep walking.

It didn’t feel right. Not only did it feel forced, but it was uncomfortable. He was tall, so tall that your shoulders hurt from him holding your arm so high up. And yet, you bit your inner cheek trying your best to stay quiet because he was a good man. A good man with a steady job who, according to your colleague, had never been unkind to his past lovers and found everything you say interesting. A man who didn’t want to control you, a man whose only intentions, he told you this, were to make your life easier, lighter, with the only condition that you share it with him.

Before you realized it, you were already sitting in a fancy restaurant. Of course, he had made a reservation and you could swear you caught a hint of recognition in the hostess's eyes before she guided you to your table. You were lucky, you told yourself. Enjoy the moment, you deserve it. Every long day at work, every bump on the road, now it was the time to relax, to be pampered. You deserved this― your shoulder wasn’t even hurting anymore.

“So, how was work today?”

“Ah, it was okay,” you said, taking a sip of your glass of champagne. “Just the same old stuff.”

“Working with heroes every day seems really interesting.”

“I don’t really work with them, though,” you corrected him. “I write about them. Well, me and my team.”

“Have they ever given you interviews?” he asked, a real curiosity in his eyes.

“A couple of times,” you admitted. “I had an interview with Mirko last month.”

“Ah, well,” he sighed and took his glass to his lips. “But like, have you ever interviewed real heroes?”

You opened to mouth to specify Mirko was a hero, that only last month she had saved a lot of civilians from certain death and that was the reason the magazine you worked for wanted to interview her. She was polite and arrived at your office on time, which was a lot more than you could say from the other heroes that had visited your office before.

However, just as you were about to defend her, the waitress came back with appetizers. The moment was lost with him thanking her with an honest smile and then inviting you to have a bite of― you couldn’t quite remember, but you were quite sure he said it in French.

He took the lead from there, talking about his work but not overplaying it, asking you questions to make sure you were involved, and never dreaming about speaking with his mouth full. If anything, his excellent table manners made you doubt yours more than once and yet he didn’t seem to mind when your fingers hovered the different forks for a couple of seconds too long.

“I’m so sorry if I’m boring you,” he apologized with a low chuckle and you hated how genuine it seemed. “My job isn’t as amazing as yours.”

“I wouldn’t call it amazing,” you shrugged.

“Ah, I don’t know about that,” he smiled. “Working with heroes sounds like fun. You get to write about how many lives they save, how great it is that we have thems to―”

“It isn’t though. Great. Hero society is anything but great.”

It was at that moment when you saw it. The clear shock in his eyes, while well-mannered, let you know he wasn’t expecting such a crude answer.

“What do you mean?”

You paused, looking down at your cheesecake. With your little spoon, you dabbed on it a couple of times, wishing you had just smiled and nodded as you had been doing before.

“Hero society relies on the belief that there are good quirks and bad quirks,” you explained, looking down at your dessert. “But the way they judge them― how do they decide which one is good and which one is bad? Their value is placed upon how helpful they can be to others. How they can be used to serve. And if someone is born with a quirk that isn’t meant to be used in battle, they’re deemed worthless. Worse, if someone has a quirk that can potentially be dangerous, they’re ostracized by this great hero society and left to their own devices to figure out their quirk, control it and try to live in a city that has decided to hate them.”

The man in front of you looked at you with his furrowed eyebrows, having trouble understanding where you were coming from.

“But they choose to be villains,” he argued. “They choose to commit crimes every day when they could get a job somewhere.”

“Where, exactly?” you asked. “Because as far as I know, every job in the city will ask you what your quirk is. And once they learn it’s a “dangerous” one, they won’t give you the opportunity. They will judge them based on the way they’re born. And I’m not even touching on the subject of the discrimination of those who have quirks that make them have animalistic features, which is even worse. So, can you really blame them for becoming villains and wreaking havoc on the city that came to the conclusion there’s something wrong with them?”

“You realize they have killed people, right?” You could see the tension on the man’s shoulders, but you were far too invested to back away now.

“I do. I write about them, remember?” you said, a small smile dancing on your lips. “But haven’t you heard that the child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth?”

In your mind, the flames were blue rather than red.

“Have you ever wondered why there aren’t any centres or institutions to help these kids?” you insisted.

He paused, looking around the restaurant for a couple of seconds before looking back at you. He was uncomfortable and somehow, you were relishing it.

“No. I don’t.”

“Because they don’t care,” you explained, not being able to hold back a chuckle. “Our beloved hero society doesn’t care about people that have quirks that aren’t productive. And that fits perfectly with the way capitalism has made everyone believe your inner worth is linked to your productivity.”

He scrunched up his face, evidently disgusted.

“Oh God, you’re not one of those communists, are you?”

…

You appreciated the man not lying about texting or calling soon when he dropped you off. After making sure you had closed his car door, he muttered a ‘goodnight’ and drove off. Good. At least you were on the same page.

Instead of entering your apartment, you walked up the stairs until you reached the roof. As always, it was empty, which was exactly what you needed after such a disastrous night. The man took your lack of reply as an admission of being a communist instead of your unwillingness to answer a stupid question and he quickly asked for the check. He was kind enough to offer you a ride and, while at any other moment you would have rejected it, you realized he wasn’t dangerous and it would be nice to avoid paying for a taxi on a busy night.

You lit up a cigarette, inhaling deeply, feeling the warm smoke filling your lungs. It left your lips a couple of seconds later, disappearing in thin air. Walking closer to the edge, you observed the city, still pretty much alive even if it was close to midnight. The honks of cars paired with the music from the bar in the front street felt so distant that for a moment you swore you were watching them on television. After all, wasn’t a whole movie based on that premise? That we were all part of a tv show that someone spent their Saturday nights binge-watching?

A part of you hoped they found you interesting.

Almost as if the universe could sense it, the screen of the billboard in front of your building changed, and the name of your magazine appeared in flashing colours.

For the first time, Mirko opens up about the incident in Shibuya! Is marriage in her life plan? How about children? Get to see a new side of our leotard hero in this month’s issue!

Marriage?

You didn’t remember asking her anything about marriage or kids. All of your questions had been about the incident, you were sure of that. She was a hero and she had saved people, who would be dumb enough to ask her personal questions that weren’t asked to her male counterparts?

Also― leotard hero?

In horror, the memory of saying goodbye to Mirko and thanking her for her time as you waited for the elevator came to your mind. She had assured you it was no trouble and that she was excited about this new issue. However, right before she stepped into the elevator, your boss had joined you. She had invited Mirko back to the office to show her around the premises and you had taken the opportunity to say goodbye before going back to your cubicle.

Of course. That little shit.

You took another long drag off your cigarette, feeling a headache building inside you. Were the questions you asked even in the issue? Or had they been scraped off?

Your eyes set again on the billboard. “Fucking bitch,” you grumbled between your teeth.

The magazine ad faded into a red screen, and then a face you were awfully familiar with appeared in the middle of the screen.

If you’ve seen this criminal, please contact our line, 00-3224-74275

Your laugh erupted from your body without a warning. Not being able to help it, your shoulders started shaking as you loudly cackled. Your belly ached as you tried to gain some air, now crossed over your chest as you kept laughing.

The only thing able to suppress your burst of laughter was the pouring rain. Unannounced, heavy rain that didn’t take longer than ten seconds to completely soak your clothes. You straightened up your body, looking up to the clouds with an amused smile. Pushing your hair away from your face, you found yourself being thankful for the awful weather, even if it had ruined your cigarette, which now laid forgotten on the floor.

For the first time in the night, you felt alive.

You weren’t sure how long you stayed on the roof feeling the rain hit your face. Your eyes closed and your clothes drenched, you were truly in your personal paradise, feeling as if it was washing away every bad thought of the day, cleansing you from all the worries and heartache you had been through the past week.

When the first shiver ran across your spine, you decided it was a good moment to step back. You scrunched your hair and clothes, trying your best to get rid of most of the water before walking down the stairs. Even so, you could see a trail of water and the prints of your shoes following you, which you decided to ignore, hoping no one would catch you. Your neighbours had a bad reputation for snitching up on people.

To your surprise, when you reached your apartment, the door was already open.

#dabi x reader #mha x reader #bnha x reader #todoroki touya x reader #touya todoroki x reader #todoroki touya #touya todoroki #dabi x you #dabi angst #dabi fluff #dabi imagine #touya todoroki x you #todoroki touya x you

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lesbiangracehanson · 2 years

Note

Can you pls link some good ke fics ?

ok here we go!

domesticated dogs by coldmackerel - this was the one i was reading last night! a post-s3 villaneve fic from elena's pov. i'm a BIG fan of outsider pov fics + this was done soooo so well

it came from the water by coldmackerel - i'm getting through all my coldmackerel recs first. read this about 2 hours ago + i can't stop thinking about it. it's immediately post-4x08 so maybe don't read it if you're not prepared to feel very very sad lol, but it was actually very cathartic for me

these mortifying ordeals by coldmackerel - one year post-s2 ! the BLUEPRINT!!!!!! i'm planning a re-read of this + haven't read the other 2 in the series yet but ....seriously, this author's absolutely forensic understanding of both eve + villanelle is something else, i don't think they're easy characters to write well or truly do justice to but the way this author gets into their particularities + makes it feel effortless is incredible imo

ties that bind me (to you) by vracs - ancient rome AU, villanelle is an undefeated gladiator who goes to take on the minotaur + is guided back to safety by eve. PEAK romance imo, literally read it 2 years ago + it has not left my mind

the rest are retrieved from a google docs list of ke fics i made like 2 years ago for a friend loooool so i haven't read them recently but wrote little blurbs about them at the time so:

this is what you wanted by dollsome - villanelle goes to alaska on her own post-s2, a villanelle character study essentially. i remember really liking this because i liked the idea of villanelle being put somewhere quiet on her own to kind of ..... ruminate + reflect after the intense action of s2 - i'd just recommend anything by dollsome tbh!!!

every rose by fixy - tattooist/florist AU!!!! the WHOLE gang's in this one + it's so so so much fun!!!!! also i continue to mourn the fact that we never got to see elena + villanelle interact in the show bc every fic where they become friends is an automatic fave for me

quid pro quo by fixy - divorce lawyer AU!! another fixy fic, another classic ke fic imo..... villanelle is eve's solicitor for her divorce with niko. nearly 130k of pure gold, basically read anything fixy has written but those r my top 2 i think

for hire by almostafantasia - eve hires an escort AU, villanelle is the escort in question + she's pretending to be eve's date for niko's wedding to someone else, fake dating essentially!!!

everything is shit by almostafantasia - a post-3x06 fic, from what i remember this was villanelle having a crisis post-killing her family + eve turning up in barcelona to see her..... very soft

from the same star by almostafantasia - 68k soulmate AU!! yet another almostafantasia rec (just read everything they've written tbh), a CLASSIC soulmate AU.... you've got slowburn.... you've got their initials appearing on each other's skin.... but you've also still got MI6 eve + assassin villanelle ..... it's GOOD!

an interlude by villanellogy - a soft post-3x08 fic, eve gets villanelle the ice cream she loves, that's the fic x

last call by villanellogy - outsider pov/villaneve in a small town fic, less than 2k but this fic hits HARD, a film-noir vibe to it all

a ripening of sorts by creampuffs - post-s2 fic, villanelle + eve are in a cottage in rural italy, villanelle's taking care of eve + her (villanelle-induced) gunshot wound xoxo i LOVE a fic where characters are forced into a contained space together for an indefinite period of time + forced to have conversations they've otherwise avoided so yes.... this is a vibe

the guillotine hums by liraels - a politics AU, eve + villanelle are MPs on opposing sides. this fic..... felt like a fever dream as i was reading it + feels like a fever dream looking back on it. INSANELY good, liraels is another fic author who just gets eve + villanelle completely imo, writing/a universe u can absolutely sink into + soak up

the thought that lingers by liraels - a s3 fic, eve gets on the train with villanelle from aberdeen to london. another fic where these 2 are trapped in a contained space together + have to TALK. tbh there's soooo many liraels fics i still need to read but this + the one above are real faves of mine so far

i'll stop there for now, but will probs update this as i think of others!

#asks #anon #villaneve #eve x villanelle #killing eve #fic recs #yea...... i will be adding to this probably

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celestialrry · 3 years

Note

I wish you would write a fic where...

the main character is the daughter of a really important producer harry is working with and he has a major crush on her but 1) he doesn’t want her dad to feel like he’s taking advantage of her 2) she has a rule of not dating musicians

too young

OOOOOOHHHHHH

HIIII GUYS..... i started school again and honestly for the longest time i've had no inspiration to write but then i got this ask!!! (thank you for your patience anon ily) and was like i love this prompt but then i wrote the first part and had no idea how to continue it,,, but I finally finished it!! ε(♡'-')з (this is me giving you all my love and affection for sticking with me)

(NOT EDITED)

warnings: alcohol consumption

Harry was in a dilemma.

Usually, he could sweep all his issues under the rug, save them for another day, but this one... he couldn't do that. Not because he didn't want to, but because this problem was more than just a dust bunny on his hardwood floor.

Y/N was the problem.

Or to be more precise, his feelings for Y/N were the problem.

Harry had confidence when it came to his crushes. He was smooth, flirty, and snagged almost every single person he's caught feelings for.

But not Y/N.

No, she was almost unreachable, for quite a few reasons.

One, the only reason he knew her, met her, was through a producer he had been working with the past few months. Arlo was massive in the industry and Harry was flattered when Arlo approached him with interest in collaborating. And only a month into working together, he met Y/N.

Harry's head snapped towards the door that had just burst open, a girl barging into the studio that he had never seen before. She was gorgeous, he had to admit, but he couldn't ignore her blatant disrespect for coming in and making a scene while he, Arlo, and a few of his bandmates were working annoyed him to no end.

"Dad! Oh my god, you will not believe what just happened, I was on my way over here and I fucking bumped into Zach," The girl began ranting, approaching Arlo and huffing as she stood next to Arlo's chair. "Of all fucking people I could see just walking down the street, it had to be him. The world is against me today I swear. Anyways, I brought that drum pad you wanted."

She dug into her big brown bag that was slung over her shoulder and pulled out the music board, placing it on the table in front of Arlo.

"Where'd you see him, Y/N? We're about to go on break and I can leave and go kick his ass in," Arlo checked his watch. "7 minutes."

Y/N, Harry now knew her as, sighed and crossed her arms. "He's long gone by now, think he shit his pants when he saw me walking near him."

"Atta girl, thanks for bringing my board too," Arlo smiled up at her from his chair. He then turned to see Harry, and Mitch staring at the two of them. "Oh sorry guys, this is my daughter, Y/N. Y/N, this is Harry and Mitch."

She turned to look at them and smiled wide. "Nice to meet you!"

"You too." They both said in unison, looking at each other with a smile, before focusing back on Y/N.

"We'll be done soon, if you wanna go out and get lunch." Arlo said, turning back to his daughter.

"Sounds good, just text me," Y/N replied, giving him a smile before turning back to the boys. "Nice meeting you guys, again."

And before they could even respond she was gone.

Two, Y/N was younger than him. 6 years younger to be exact. It didn't seem like much, but when put into perspective, she was 21, only just being legally allowed to drink in the States, and Harry was 27. Practically 30, if you ask him, and he was positive Arlo would have his head if he found out Harry liked his daughter.

And three, she doesn't date the people her dad works with.

He had found this out one night when he, Arlo, Y/N, Mitch, and a couple other writers were hanging out at the studio, drinking some wine (she had even exclaimed that this would be her first time drinking red, and Harry was yet again reminded of her age) and chatting after a long day of working.

Harry and Mitch were laughing with Arlo about the first time they met Y/N, and her comments about this “Zach” guy.

“He’s my ex, and had worked with my dad on one shitty song that never got far because he’s just so-- music is just not his thing, to put it nicely. But he was an absolute asshole and after him I made rule to never date anyone Dad works with. It would just go terribly.” She explained, letting Arlo take a few more jabs at the guy before stopping him.

So yeah, Harry was in a dilemma.

In all the time he’d known Y/N, he just kept falling for her. She was kind, funny, beautiful, lit up any room she walked into, and treated Harry like fine porcelain.

She was just fucking perfect.

｡:°ஐ

Y/N had probably been in a lot of worse positions than the predicament she was in now.

For example, that time her dad walked in on her and her ex making out in the studio, or her 21st birthday when she got completely wasted and almost got into the wrong car instead of her uber, and the next day found out that the man driving that car was actually a convicted criminal.

So there’s worse things that could happen than her liking Harry.

But it doesn't mean it wasn’t bad.

The thing is, Y/N didn’t fall for anyone easily. Her one and only ex Zach treated her like a queen until he could officially claim her as his. The flowers he gave her before every date remained at the shop and the consistent compliments turned into insults and muttered claims of discontentment.

Hence why he was her ex. It took Y/N quite a long time to work up the courage to end things with him. He was her first kiss, first time, and first boyfriend. She was yet to find her first love, she never really loved Zach. The way he used to treat her in the beginning, she thinks she loved, but him? No, she would never call him her first love.

So when Y/N’s time crush on Harry began to develop into real feelings in such a short span of time, it terrified her. She had really never felt this way about someone before; butterflies would erupt in her stomach every time he shot her a smile and her mind would erupt into pure chaos when his body brushed up against her own.

So yeah, it could be worse, but it certainly wasn't good.

｡:°ஐ

Y/N enjoyed spending time at the studio with her dad, and surprisingly, spending time with her dad’s “co-workers”. Even though she didn't usually hang out with the pop stars and spent time mostly with the backing band/producers (they were usually 50 year old men, but they were pretty nice) she enjoyed herself fully, having lunch breaks and talking about where their children when to school and whatnot.

Sometimes though, every blue moon, Y/N would hang out with a super star her dad was working with. Usually when most stars are at the studio all they did was record, which was understandable, but she never had the chance to meet a lot of them.

With Harry though, everything was different. It wasn’t just lunches at the studio, or dinner at someone’s house, no, tonight they were going out to a bar.

It was completely unexpected too, they had just wrapped up a song, and Harry, being in a particularly good mood had yelled out about going to a bar to celebrate. Of course, Y/N ignored his shout, knowing she wasn’t invited, and after Arlo had said something about “not being able to party as much as I used to”, she gave her dad a hug good night and waved a little goodbye to the band.

“Wait!” Harry had exclaimed, chasing after her in the hallway. “Where are y’going?”

Y/N’s eyes widened and she looked behind her before looking back at Harry. “I was just gonna head back home.”

Harry’s head tilted, and looked at her questionably. “Y’not comin’ to the bar with us?” He practically pouted.

Her brows shot up in surprise. “Oh! I- yeah I’ll go out with you guys.”

Which lead her here, decently tipsy, and sitting in a booth between Harry and Sarah, laughing at a story Adam had been telling. Every now and then she would glance over to Harry just to find his gaze already on her.

Her heart fluttered every time, and if Harry’s cheeks weren’t already flushed from the alcohol, Y/N would have noticed him blush every time they locked eyes as well.

“M’gonna get another drink, does anyone want anything?” Y/N piped up, a resounding chorus of “no, thank you’s” answering her question. Except for Harry who spoke softly, “A beer? Go ahead and put it on my tab.”

She shook her head at him as he stood up to let her out of the maroon leather booth. “Can’t make you pay for that, I offered.” She said, standing to lock eyes with him yet again.

“Nope,” He grinned. “You can, and you will.”

“But-”

“No buts.” He chuckled, giving her a dimpled smile.

Accepting her defeat she nodded and squeezed his arm with a murmured “Thank you.” before making her way to the bar.

Harry sat back down again, eyes trailing her figure as she walked away before looking back at the table to be met with knowing eyes.

“What is it?” He asked, glancing around at everyone.

“You’re whipped, mate.” Charlotte grinned, everyone else nodding in agreement.

“What?! I am not.” Harry pouted, eyes flicking over to Y/N, who was making her way to the table, one drink in each hand, before back to everyone else.

“She’s really sweet H, you should go for it.” Mitch said.

Harry shook his head, eyes now on Mitch. “I’m not interested in her like that, she’s way too young for me, anyways.”

Just then did he hear the soft hit of his beer and her cosmo land on the table. His gaze trailed up her hands to see Y/N’s shattered face. “Here.” She practically whispered to him.

“I just remembered I have an early class tomorrow, so I should go, but thank you guys for inviting me out.” Y/N explained in lighting speed as she leaned over Harry to grab her purse and toss is over her shoulder.

Words of confusion were tossed around the table but she was already booking it out of there, leaving Harry just as devastated as she was.

“I think she heard you, H.” Sarah said, frowning.

Harry let out a muttered “Fuck!” before taking out large bills from his wallet and tossing it on the table. “For my tab, m’sorry, I gotta go.” And he left just as fast as Y/N did, weaving through the tables and people before bursting out the door to see her standing on the street, arm wrapped around her waist and another holding her phone.

“Y/N!”

Her head whipped around to see Harry bustling towards her and she quickly wiped her eye as he approached.

“Wait, don't go,” He said, struggling to find the words. “We all want you to stay, I want you to stay.”

“I have to get to class Harry, plus, I’m too young to be staying out this late anyways.” She grimaced at her own words.

He sighed, eyes flickering from her own to her lips then back again. “I-fuck, you know I didn’t mean it like that.”

This time, she fully turned to face him, brows knitted in distress. “Then how did you mean it? Because honestly I don’t think there is another way to mean it.”

This was his only chance, Harry knew it.

“I just, I tried for so long to tell myself it was wrong to feel this way about you because you’re so much younger than me, and m’pretty sure your father would have my head if he knew but m’fucking infatuated with you, Y/N. M’so sorry I said that earlier, age is my only excuse for not asking you out and it’s not a good enough excuse anymore.”

With this her mouth was gaped like a fish, and her face was akin to a deer caught in headlights. In a flash her arms were wrapped around his neck and he was holding her waist, reveling in her touch.

“Oh, Harry,” She pulled away. “I really like you too.” And with that she pressed a swift kiss to his cheek, leaving him a blushing mess.

“Good, thats... thats good.” He stammered.

“So,” she nudged his arm. “Y’gonna ask me out now?”

#wow this was so rushed #not long at all either #but the first part had been sitting in my drafts for months #so here ya go #Harry Styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader

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the-witty-pen-name · 3 years

Text

The Nanny Pt. 7

18+ ONLY

Lee Bodecker x F!Reader

Warnings: cursing, angst, alcohol mention, food mention/eating, grief, yearning, corrupt cop, age gap (reader is in her 20s)

Based on this Request: The reader moves to Meade/Knockemstiff while answering an advertisement for a nanny in the paper. We learn that the ad was posted by Sandy, who has the reader watch her child whenever she and Carl leave to do their secret thing. After one of these trips, Sandy and her husband never return, so the reader is left caring for their baby. With the new investigation into these events, she meets Sandy’s brother Lee, the older, out of shape, alcoholic bachelor, and they are suddenly thrown into each others lives as he begins looking into his sister’s disappearance. Through it all, Lee starts to fall for her, and they slowly become a family.

Word Count: not sure- wrote it on my phone maybe 2k?

Series Masterlist / Previous Part

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy! I will reblog with the taglist soon. Let me know what you think! Reblogs are always appreciated as well!

Every movement is frantic. It’s with urgency that his arms pull you in as close as he can manage as his hands wander. Your arms wrap around his neck to bring yourself into him, even though there was no space left between you. Nimble fingers work to undo the buttons of his uniform- anything to just feel each other. Nothing is spoken and yet, you both move with such certainty and so succinctly. Soon enough, with his lips kissing and biting down your neck as you move, you find yourself pressed against the door of his bedroom and he fumbles to get the door open.

The screaming cry of the baby makes you both jump away, eyes wide and startled out of your daze. Again, it’s all unspoken, and your fluidity of motion shifts in a new direction. Without hesitation, you're in her room scooping her into your arms as you hear Lee mutter something about getting her bottle. You try your best to not think about what just- what could have just happened, and instead work to shush the little girl back to sleep. You rock her in your arms, and walk slowly around her room- navigating around the boxes of her things Lee has yet to unpack, understandably. All of this- everything has just changed so quickly. You can’t fault him for not having prioritized putting onesies in a dresser.

Lee’s coming back with a bottle but decides to hang back a moment in the doorway before making his presence known. He selfishly gives himself a few minutes to just observe the situation before him. He can’t help but smile at the sight. You’re here, unfazed that you're still in clothes drenched by the rain, and all you focus on is humming a soft lullaby to the crying baby. It’s probably not wise, but he allows himself to be a little selfish and just take in the moment, pretend it’s something just a little more than a shit show. You’re here- you came here. For him? He hopes so. Or maybe it was her- and that’s fine with him too. It doesn’t matter really. For now, it’s like life is far from broken.

She needs you. He knows that better than anything. He’s certain. He can see the way you treat her- love her. She without a doubt needs you as a constant presence in her life. What other stability does she have? Granted she won’t remember any of this but he hopes she’ll grow up knowing you. Lee thinks he can’t be this person the way you can. He’s not the person who can be a good parent, he’s convinced. He’s not selfless the same way you are. He’s not a good person. He has done and continues to do bad things. He wants to be better and be who his niece needs, but he can’t do it both all alone.

She needs you.

He needs you.

“Here,” he says when he finally snaps himself out of his daydream. You take the bottle from him and offer it to Valerie, instantly soothing her tears.

You sit on an unopened box while she sips on the bottle, and Lee takes a seat in another across from you. The only light in the room is the little bit of light from the street lamp outside through the crevices of the shade, and the nightlight plugged in near the crib.

You sit in silence, neither one of you knowing what to say. As Valerie settles down and you have nothing to redirect your attention, the air in the room grows heavy and the silence begins to feel awkward. It’s excruciating, the silence, and it’s eating you both alive. What do you even say in a situation like this? Is there even anything to say that even begins to describe whatever it was dancing between the two of you?

You don’t even know how much time passes as you two sit there, but eventually when Val finishes the bottle, she’s back asleep, snuggling herself close to your chest. You get up carefully, and gently place the girl back into her crib. You and Lee share a knowing look, to not try to talk until you’re both out of the nursery. He gestures for you to walk out first, and then he follows, very slowly closing the door behind him.

With his hand just grazing your lower back, he leads you to the living room to sit down. You take a seat on the couch, your eyes fixated on a very faint ring on the coffee table in front of you. You were finding it so hard to make eye contact. Neither one of you knowing what to say, or wanting to be the first one to speak.

You hadn’t realized Lee had even left until he comes back with two mugs and offers one to you. You mumble a shy thank you, and the coffee instantly helps warm you up. You had been too distracted before to realize how cold you were from being soaked by the rain. He also has a towel under his arm that he drapes over your shoulders, before he takes a seat next to you.

Lee’s feeling more self conscious than usual. This was the side of him, he didn’t want you to see. He’s sure you can smell the alcohol practically coming out of his pores, and he’s in desperate need of a shave. He’s been in these clothes for the past couple of days, not being able to even find the time or the energy. They’re covered in Val’s spit up, and he’s more aware of his tummy when he isn’t in uniform. He wanted to have this part of him sorted out already, he wants to impress you. He doesn’t know why. He knows why, but he’s not ready to admit it to himself yet. After everything that’s happened, on top of it all, he can’t face the rejection from you.

You’re both hurting, and he convinces himself the kiss was nothing more than a desperate attempt for comfort. It had to be, he thinks. You’re both grieving, both tied up in a horrible twist of fate that affected you both. He can’t even think about how Sandy- his kid sister Sandy, is gone. Now that he’s lost her, he can’t also lose you. Valerie can’t lose you, and he can’t let his harboring crush ruin the one good thing she has going for her right now.

You make it so hard for him to resist you. You don’t even know the effect you have on him, but just sitting here with you makes his head spin. He desperately wants to just feel you wrapped up in his arms again, but the small glimpse he got earlier needs to be enough. He doesn’t have a choice. He’s not making choices for himself, he can’t. Not just yet.

“I’m sorry,” you say softly, finally cutting through the silence, “I- I don’t know why I came.”

“I’m happy you did.”

“This is a horrible thing to bring up right now,” you chuckle, holding back a sob, “but I don’t know what to do- you’re grieving the loss of your sister and I’m just worried about my job…”

“I want you to stay as her nanny,” he insists, quickly, his voice actually sounding relieved- even if only a little. “She needs you, if you want to… I also understand if you want to distance yourself from this…”

“I don’t want to leave her,” you insist. He actually manages a smile.

“We’ll figure out the details, when we finally manage to get back on our feet,” he reasons, and you nod in agreement, “but don’t worry about your job.”

“Thank you,” you smile, tightening the towel around you.

“Do- do you want me to drive you home?” He offers, hesitantly, not wanting you to go, but also not brave enough to ask you to stay. “Or- if you’d be comfortable, you can take the couch- if you want.”

“I won’t put you out- I should be getting back. I don’t mind walking…”

“I want you to stay,” he admits, and you find yourself unable to tear away from his gaze. His blue eyes have never bore so much emotion to you before. The practically desperate plea that tugs at his voice is straining his strong front.

His gaze is so heavy, practically spilling his heart out to you with just one look. It’s telling- no, it’s exposing. It’s him opening up his chest and pulling his heart out to give to you while it’s still beating. There’s no more games, or the little cat and mouse facade. It’s emphatically him, and the pull that keeps tethering him back to you.

When you were little, you remember a phrase that was taught to you in an attempt to keep you away from sin, or following down the wrong path.

When you dance with the devil, the devil don’t change.

Forever entangling you with your choices and bad decisions. Once you go down some roads, there’s no turning back from them. The path disappears behind you, and you can’t go back and start again. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t- because how can you live a life worth living if you don’t risk your fate.

Your fate is sealed when you kiss him.

This time it’s different. It’s purposeful and methodical, no doubt that it is indeed your conscious choice to close the spaces between the two of you. It’s so slow, it feels almost agonizing. He’s so warm, and his heat just feels so inviting that you can’t help yourself when you get pulled in.

He doesn’t even know you. He can count the interactions you’ve shared almost on one hand. But he knows, and can attest to the fact that he’s never felt this before. He doesn’t think it’s accurate to call it love- not just yet. But it shares many of the same qualities. It’s intoxicating, and simultaneously mesmerizing. It’s more than just an attraction or an infatuation- it’s a burning need to be close to you, and to immerse himself in you.

Lee’s fate was sealed long before he met you, as he made deals with his own devils. Addicted to all the material things and the power, but he feels that pull of addiction with you. And you’re the best thing he can be addicted to, a beacon of something wholeheartedly good- tugging him to be good enough for someone like you.

“We shouldn’t do this.”

His words cut through you and it’s nothing short of paralyzing. He’s gentle, and you could have seen how much it pains him to push you away if you yourself weren’t hurting from his words. You feel a million things at once. Shame, embarrassment, anger, confusion… everything desperately trying to be the forefront of your brain at once that nothing can form into anything coherent at all. It’s maddening, and all you can do is sit there dumbfounded when the man who asked you to stay is now shutting you out.

He tries to explain, and of course, he’s thinking of the little girl asleep down the hall. It’s unfair to her to put his emotions and his wants ahead of what she needs. She needs you, he believes more than she needs him. It’s a cynical and self deprecating thought to have but he can’t imagine what he can offer her if not you. It’s not rational, but not once has he ever thought rationally. She needs you, and he can risk being the one who rips you from her life.

“Valerie- she, we need to put her first. I need to be putting her first,” he sighs. You nod, still unable to even come up with something to say. You put yourself out and offered to let him in, and he just shut you out. Of course, he’s doing the right thing, but it still fucking hurts. It shakes you, and forces you out of your own daze you’d fallen in with regards to him.

You walk home in the early hours of morning with tear stained cheeks. You refused a ride from Lee, and refused to say a word as you left. You walk home like you’re on the brink of breaking into fragments. Your body is guiding you, but your brain is fogged and your eyes are weighing heavy. It’s 4am and you’re back in bed right where you started before Julie even woke up to notice you gone.

Lee’s on his couch, laying back with Valerie pulled in close to his chest as she sleeps. His mind is too busy with thoughts of you to allow him to even get a couple of hours of much needed rest. Her weight on him is comforting, and the feel of her in his arms is what he tries to focus on. She’s blissfully unaware of all the events that occurred in the house tonight, and her soft snores seem to be the only thing that helps calm his nerves. He rubs her back gently, rubbing in small circles and he watches her eyelashes flutter in her sleep and he tries to imagine what she’s dreaming about.

When you slept, it felt like only a second passed between when your eyes closed to when the bright sun woke you up. Your head hurt, and your eyelids still felt heavy, but you were nonetheless very much awake. You cringe, when the memory of last night immediately comes to mind. You needed to let go of this weight on your back, you needed to will yourself up and into the shower- just do anything besides think of Lee and the way your stomach churns thinking about his rejection.

You shower and get dressed and by the time you emerge from your room, you realize it’s 11am and Julie has long since left for work hours ago. You can’t think of one place in town you could go without the worry of running into him. His cruiser could be anywhere, and it made you want to go back to your bed and bury yourself under your blankets. You rationalize with yourself that you can’t let your fear of facing him again stop you. If you didn’t completely blow it last night, you still were Valerie’s nanny and that meant facing him everyday.

You slip on your shoes, and decide to at least venture out for a walk down to the dinner. Get a coffee, maybe something for an early lunch, and then just come back home. It was a simple task with a clear directive- and a conveniently short route which meant less of a chance of running into the sheriff. Your plan failed miserably when you opened the door and saw Lee with his hand up like he was just about to knock.

He holds up a pastry box and smiles sheepishly. He looks much better than when you last saw him. Clean shaven and in a freshly ironed uniform. His eyes were a little bit brighter and the heavy lines from lack of sleep under his eyes had faded. His cheeks are a little pink, and you can’t help but find the gesture endearing.

“I brought you breakfast,” he says, his voice hesitant. It’s like he’s worried one wrong move and the door may slam in his face. You smile, crossing your arms over your torso because of how awkward you feel as you step aside to let him in.

He stands out in your apartment. The apartment is very much decorated like two eclectic twenty-something disasters. He has a small smirk on his face looking around, observing your space and taking it all in. You mumble an apology for the little bits of clutter and you busy yourself by clearing the mess of record sleeves and magazines off of the coffee table. He takes a seat on your couch, and lets himself relax down into it. He opens up the pastry box and places it down on the coffee table.

“I- I wasn’t sure what you liked so I got one of everything,” he says shyly, and you grin. One of every kind of muffin the dinner sold lined up in rows and packaged up just for you.

“I came to apologize,” he began, and you took a seat in your armchair, wanting to keep your distance so you didn’t do anything else stupid.

“I didn’t handle myself well last night. I didn’t say what I was trying to convey to you, and it came out wrong. I hurt you, and I am so sorry,” he begins. “It wasn’t that I didn’t want you to kiss me, or that I’m not interested, or that I wanted to push you away. I wanted it, I really honestly do. And that kiss was- just… wow. I couldn’t stop thinking about it- well I still can’t stop thinking about it. And- and I realized that I need to put her first. As badly as I want to- I don’t know, kiss you again, ask you out- I can’t risk it not working out and it affecting her.

I see how you are with her, and you’re so great for her. And she needs you and I can’t fuck that up and I can’t risk whatever this is threatening that. I don’t know what I’m doing. I honestly have no idea what it takes to take care of a baby. If you left, I don’t know what I’d do. I can’t, I can’t raise her without you.”

You didn’t know your heart could ache so much. This longing that’s tugging at you is unexplainable. You don’t know him- but you desperately want to. It’s pulling you in and just breaking you with every step. It’s not fair. It’s not fair to him, or to Val or even to you to let yourself get so caught up in something you don’t understand. It’s a relief within itself to know that it’s not just you. He feels this too.

“I’m sorry,” you admit, looking down at your lap, “I’m sorry I left- and I don’t know what this is- or what happened, but you’re right and I know that. But you have my word, I promise I’m not going to let this affect my work with Valerie.”

“So- I guess I came here to ask you, if you still want to do this. If we’re on the same page, nothing between us can happen, for her sake. And we keep our rel- we keep it professional. Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

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