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ay0nha · 3 years

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The Race That Launched a Thousand Ships: Part 2/?

(Working) Summary: Niki Lauda, the rookie starting his career requests the help of a mechanic, Margot Lancaster who has a buried past that he’s seemed to uncovered. (This is crap I know)

Pairing: Niki Lauda x femme!OC (mechanic)

Word Count: ~5.3K

A/N: I’m going to loosely base the timeline off of the movie, but it’s more inspired if anything. I’m touching on Margot’s background (hope it’s not confusing) but it’ll be explained better/fully next chapter. Thank you to google translate for the Italian and google for things about cars. I think this whole thing was better in my head, but it’s setting up some good stuff! So stick around if you’d like :) And most importantly, thank you to all of those who read and enjoyed the last part!

I’ve also made a playlist that I listen to while I write this, so if anyone is interested hit me up. (I used talking head lyrics in this one lol) and I’m still figuring out tumblr, so if you want to be tagged, let me know.

Inspired by @niki-fucking-lauda‘s post (it’s cute, check it out!)

Master-list

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

–

"I thought you had forgotten about me."

"I had some business to attend," Niki stated in a matter-of-fact manner.

"Races..." I corrected him, as I joined him at the break-room table, "Admit it, you missed me."

"These are the terms," Niki ignored my teasing, instead sliding the package of papers towards me. They were secure in a yellow envelope, but anyone could see that there was a thick stack of papers within.

"You really don't know how to take no for an answer," I laughed lightly. He kept his hands neatly folded in his lap, waiting for me to open the envelope and view the papers. I reached to feel the heft of it, then leaned forward to bring it towards me. However, before I actually opened it, I made sure to say, "Don't get excited, I'm only looking."

Niki had been in London for just shy of three months, but hadn't once stopped by. I knew he was interested in moving onto bigger and better things so I didn't think I would hear from him after I had declined his offer, but that was just wishful thinking.

He was determined to pester me, no matter the form of communication. He had started to call me after a handful of his races. He wasn't looking for praise, but for me to point of his flaws. Then, not soon after, it was more than just the occasional call about a race, it turned into an almost daily occurrence. Inbetween races, he wanted to know more. He wanted to know how I would increase traction while driving on a wet track, what I knew about said tracks, or simply start with if I had any interesting cars in the shop lately. However, he was more interested in telling me how I could find more interesting cars if I had joined him.

Niki had called so frequently the others in the shop started to call it the Lauda Line. It didn't matter if I was neck-deep in work or the time of day, once that double alteration was yelled I knew I had to drop everything to answer it. At first, I ignored it, not caring how much it rang. But I couldn't ignore the calls for too long, not for a lack of trying, but because the rest of the ship, my boss especially, didn't appreciate the constant interruption. Niki was a persistent man and he wanted it known. His tenacity led to where we were now, sitting across each other in the cramped storage closet that was more or less used as a sort of break room. Why he was still in London was beyond me, when I knew he had more pressing matters elsewhere in Europe.

"You're Formula 1 now?" I questioned, as I flipped through the first few pages where it said he was newly signed to the BRM Formula One team. I couldn't help but think about the retro-pay I deserved.

"I am."

"You move fast."

"In my line of work, that's the only way you can."

"Funny," I snapped my eyes up at him so he knew I wasn't humored. Skimming through the conditions, it was nothing less than expected. It was standard. Standard pay, standard living stipends, standard expectations of a mechanic, some added benefits that came with attending races, conferences, and, of course, the parties. It was comical the way the papers hinted at certain liabilities, "Pen?"

He looked at me dumbfounded, surprised by my simple compliance. By the look on his face, I could tell he expected more of a fight. After composing himself, he pulled a pen out of his blazer and handed it to me. Then, skipping to the last page of the agreement, not bothering to review the ridiculous regulations, I wrote on the dotted line. Turning it back to the first page, I gathered the papers and tapped them against the table making sure they were in line before sliding them back to Niki the same way he had for me. He tried not to seem too eager as he went to the final page to see my signature for himself. I watched his eyes search the page, running down until it landed at the bottom.

"What is your issue!" He asked, truly at his wit's end. He clearly was not expecting to see the letters N and O written boldly and underlined instead of my name, "I am doing you the favor."

"And what favor is that? Hmm?" I questioned, snatching the papers up to wave them in his face, "All you're trying to do is poach me. There is nothing in this for me."

He blinked a few times in frustration, then handed me the pen and paper again, "Fix it."

"What?"

"Make them your terms," He used his chin to gesture to the papers, "Isn't that what you want?"

I thought I finally had him, the final straw to get him off my back, but he was too far committed to let me go that easily. My leg was bouncing up and down impatient to leave, but then the pen found it's way back into my hand and I had already begun the correction process. As I did, I mentioned, "I won't go to the races."

"Fine."

"I mean it," I looked up at him for all intents and purposes.

"As do I."

"Hmm..." I concentrated now on the fine print of things. I refused to have a 'clause' be my demise, "and I won't watch them either, won't listen to them, and won't even read about them until I hear about it directly from you."

The lack of response matched the confusion on his face, "What do you mean?"

"You find me wherever I am after the race and tell me, to my face, how it went. I want it from the source," I emphasized my point to make sure he understood the seriousness in my words.

"Done," He agreed with a simple shrug.

"However," I scratched out an entire section, the pen's ink now fully covering the page, "I want to see the tracks beforehand."

"I can arrange that."

"Now, I would work for you. The same way you would work for me. You and me, we'd be a team. Fifty-fifty. You do whatever you want to do and I will do the same. I won't sign to a team, a sponsor, or any of that nonsense, that's your business," I said intently, before repeating myself to make sure I was as clear as I possibly could be, "But you and me, we're a team."

"You would still be working with the team."

"With the team, not for the team," I emphasized, writing that down as it's own bullet point. Then I went ahead and tore out the final few pages that concerned the pit crew and race regulations.

Taking a few minutes, I finetooth combed through every page before I felt content enough to finally push it back to Niki.

"Now, if I were to agree, this is what would be more acceptable." I glanced up at the clock, my fifteen-minute break over, "Read over this, find me after work, and we'll talk more about it."

"You're setting me up for failure," He said knowingly, standing up, "I'll arrive and you will just tell me no. How do I know I'm not wasting more time?"

"Always the optimist," I stood, following suit as he held open the door.

"Realist."

"I'm a tease, but that would just be cruel," I smiled and shook my head, "I get off at 5."

As punctual as any Austrian, Niki had met me fifteen minutes before the end of my shift, not daring to waste any time to finish our discussion. I gathered my things while he waited for me leaning against his car.

He looked like he wanted to get to the point, but I cut him off before he could, "Take me to the track, I want to show you something."

For a driver, he was being incredibly patient, not something I thought I'd encounter. I wanted to make my decision at the track and he seemed to understand that. Arriving, it felt strange to be there without the natural chaos that came with an actual race. There were a few people here and there walking about, most likely on their way out for the day, leaving the perfect opportunity for Niki to do what I wanted him to do. Before I could have the conversation I was to have with him, I needed to see him drive naturally. I wanted to see him in his car without the adrenaline, pressure, or influence of a title looming over his head. I just wanted to see him drive.

"Go again," I yelled over the hum of his engine as he slowed down next to me.

Niki only stared me down through his helmet and held up his hands in disbelief before his muffled voice said, "I have already gone around ten times!"

If I was being honest, I lost count of how many times I asked him to go around the track. It had to be more than ten, but I could tell Niki was trying to keep his cool, continue to be patient with me. Yet, his desire to indulge me was wearing thinner and thinner with each lap.

"Again," I patted the car, "Last one, I promise."

Instead of immediately running the lap again, he pulled off his helmet and pulled up the balaclava from around his head just enough to say, "That's what you said the last time."

I tried to assure him, "I'm serious this time. Last one."

He pulled the cloth and helmet down over his face again, not without sending me a slight glare. Then he shifted into the correct gear and sped off once again. This time though, he was getting careless, wanting it to be over. That twenty percent chance speech he had given me going up a few percentages. The only thing standing between him and the metaphorical finish line was me. He was fed up and I could see that as he drove a little less calculated than he had been.

I hadn't expected it, but I was starting to get stage fright. When it had first happened to me it was more of an initiation ritual that I didn't see coming. So to be the person who knew what was going to happen made my heart beat a little faster with each shaky step I took onto the asphalt. I made sure that he was at the farthest point from me, the point where he wouldn't be able to see my new position. I remember the first time I was in Niki's position. I was cocky, a know-it-all, that thought running pointless laps was a waste of time. So with each one, I challenged myself to go faster and faster each lap around until I was force braked so hard I spun out of control and gave myself a concussion.

So now, on the other end, I started to question my position. If I stood he would see me the moment he hit the apex of the turn, if I sat it would take him only a second longer, but if I laid down...Taking in a deep breath, going vertebrae by vertebrae I laid down on the warmth the track held onto from the day seep through my shirt to my back. I was sure I was making it up in my head, but it felt like time had slowed down. The birds flying above of me in my left peripheral looked as though their wings barely cut through the air. But when I heard Niki turn that corner, time had continued faster than I remembered it could. Closing my eyes, I took in a few shallow breaths in preparation. The sound of the car approaching became louder and louder, drowning out the pounding of my heart until it came to a screeching stop.

My eyes shot open and met the clouds that had barely had time to move. Automatically I sought out the birds to see if they had passed while I stayed in my position, back against the ground. I could hear the engine turn off and there were only a few calm seconds before I Niki scrambled out of the car yelling, "Are you crazy!"

"Did you feel that?" I asked a bit breathlessly, tilting my head back to see him, truly snapping back to reality.

"Do you have a death wish?" He asked, ripping off his helmet to scold me further, "What were you thinking? I could have hit you!"

"But you didn't," I said with the same provocation as my previous comment.

"What was that?" Niki asked, clearly still flustered over the situation.

"I'm trying to get you to see my point," I responded, finally getting up to be at the same level as him, “The point you’ve been ignoring.”

"I see your point," Niki nodded his head in anger. I could see the sweat that had built up on his hairline, "It's clear you're trying to scare me off! It is not going to work."

"Really, I'm not," I insisted, shaking my head. I began to walk down the track he had just driven on, "Come, come look at these."

He ran his tongue over his lips, searching for words to respond to my strange, borderline cryptic behavior. However, after a quick internal battle, he begrudgingly walked over to next to me, clearly still fuming at the situation.

"This is a reminder that it can all be taken from you like that," I snapped my fingers instantaneously, "You learn to forget. But my job is to remind you that rug can be taken out from underneath you at any moment. Do you understand the gravity of that?"

He looked at me with wild eyes as if saying that's what all this was for, but then he nodded his head regardless.

"No, don't just nod your head..." I stressed, probably looking insane as my hands kept fiercly gesturing toward the tire marks, "I need to hear you say it."

"I understand."

"No, you don't," I shook my head further, "You, you need to mean it."

"Margot, I understand." We both went quiet while I took the chance to read his face. I needed to know just how serious he was about it as much as he needed to see how serious I was. He looked at me and then up into the sky breathing out the breath he was holding, letting out any grievances he still held onto, then looking back down at me to ask, "You said your job?"

I tilted my head to the side, trying now to be as blasé as possible as I shrugged my shoulders, "I put in my two weeks."

---

"Everyone," Niki's Austrian accent boomed throughout the garage, gaining the attention of all it's inhabitants, "This is Margot Lan-

"Banks," I spoke over him, stepping ahead of him slightly with my hand already stuck out to greet people. Meeting new people was never a strong suit of mine. There was always this anxiety that I built up in my head that would manifest through a slightly flushed face and nervous hands that needed distracting. It always felt good to keep my hands busy, but shaking other calloused hands at the moment wasn't the ideal distraction.

Niki shot me a confused look, but continued his introduction, "She will be working on my car for the foreseeable future."

"Clay Regazzoni," The next person had met my hand, one that was a bit more welcoming than the others, "Pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise," I shook his hand, "Sei Italiano?" You're Italian?

"Ovviamente! Parli italiano?" He asked in his native tongue. Of course! You speak Italian?

"Non bene," I laughed slightly, "Sono un po 'fuori allenamento." Not well, I'm a little out of practice.

"Non preoccuparti. Puoi esercitarti con me, a meno che questo qui- " Don't worry. You can practice with me, unless this one over here-

"Margot," Niki interrupted us as if on cue, using his head to tell me to follow, "The car."

I sent Clay a small smile as a goodbye before trailing after Niki with my personal toolbox in hand. On the way over to his car, I couldn't help but think about the list of things Niki expected me to get done today. He was very clear with me that there was no time to waste, as we've already wasted too much time. However, standing in front of his team car, I knew his list would have to wait until my list was completed. Before he could protest, he was pulled into a conversation with the what looked to be a sponsorship manager, most likely talking about what other horrendous thing they'll add to the car will be.

Just glancing at the car, I could see how Niki had gotten his people to do what he wanted, but in turn they absolutely butchered it. It looked rushed and clumsy. He had smart ideas, but the execution was a bit lackluster and sloppy, creating unnecessary, avoidable risks for what was needed.

"Clay!" I called out to the other side of the garage, "Viene qui un momento." Come here a moment.

I wanted to know what the team's car was supposed to look like and I knew his car would be the closest thing to the original. I needed to know the baseline to build it from the bolts up. I should have known that inviting over a talkative Italian meant that I'd really have to decipher my own mystery. After exchanging some pleasantries I started to wonder how long Niki would be gone. By looks of the conversation he was roped into, I had enough time to start the first thing on my list.

So while Clay helped me practice my Italian, I started inspecting Niki's car. I had learned Clay grew up in Porza, in the Canton of Ticino, part of the Italian-speaking region of Switzerland. He was friendly and welcoming, I already knew the name of his childhood dog, Enzo, and how he would always run away to his childhood crush who happened to look a lot like me. His flirtations, unbeknownst to him, were reaching a dead end. Because throughout the conversation, I could feel Niki's eyes follow my every move, ignoring the person talking to him. At first, I didn't mind it, thinking he just was watching me work. But as my conversation continued with Clay, I realized it wasn't that. Even though he was across the room I could see he looked upset. Angry almost. clearly, his current conversation bothering him enough to scowl over in my direction as he kept an eye on me.

Not long after, Clay too was roped into the conversation and I was left to my own device for the better half of the day, but so far no one who I had met at the beginning of the day even remotely offered me any help. Instead, they all brooded in the corner, as if waiting until I was finished to undo my hours worth of work. If I was thinking fairly, I don't think I would be all too pleased to watch the new person undo work months in the making. The minute I stepped away from the car I knew they'd swarm to it, not letting me get an inch in anylonger. So, the only resolution I could come up with was to muddle through it all in one go.However, the repercussions of that led to me burning the same part of my arm over and over. The first time was a stupid mistake I made while I was removing parts. I assumed the engine would be in the back, like most race cars, so when I reached in blindly the heat of the engine got me. The times following, was just out of pure laziness and frustration of the crammed pieces I was pulling apart.

Hissing again as I touched more hot metal, I could hear the few men behind me chuckle. Of course. There was always an issue. That's why I was always given the busy work, the simple fixes, the oil changes, engine cleaning, checking tire pressure, changing the air filters, anything that no one else wanted to do. So now, when I finally got my hands on something good, of course I'd have to endure the sniggering and overall lack of faith put in me. So be it.

If Niki saw them now, with idle hands, he'd be out for blood. I wanted blood. Taking a breath to refocus, I continued to work on Niki's requests. He needed a cooler cabin for starters. I tried running the pipe on the outside by the rocker panels along the sides that way they wouldn’t directly under the Niki. That would also help with a mid or rear engine, keeping the fumes and exhaust heat out would making it a lot easier once it all happening behind him. I had lost track of time trying to finagle the gas flow inside the system so it would be kept away from anything that would react badly as I shuffled things around something so simple could end up being the trickiest piece of the puzzle . I intentionally started from scratch, pulling out each piece one by one, rearranging everything, just to change it all again. It had become hours of trial and error before Niki had returned.

"Here."

"Hmm?" I hummed, not quite breaking my concentration enough to really acknowledge Niki's presence.

"Eat."

"I will in a moment," I sat on the ground with my legs crossed while I rewired some circuits.

"You said that an hour ago." Did I? An hour ago? I didn't even remember him coming back in.

Discreetly, I glanced up at the clock to see what time it was before saying, "There's really no hurry, I'll eat in a while."

"And your blister? Are you going to wait until that get's infected?"

"I wasn't," I hummed, standing up to move onto the next part of my experiment. Carefully, I clicked the circuit back into its place saying, "...but now, out of spite, I think it's a given."

"You are no good to me if you can't work."

"You'll have to get that on a plaque for me," I joked, without pulling my hands from the car, "That way when I really want to feel inspired, all I have to do is look up and read it."

"The others said you won't let them touch the car," Niki ignored me and addressed what he really came over here to say. Probably send by the others.

"Of course they did," I snorted, "At this point, I don't want them to. I'm too..."

I trailed off, refocusing more on the car and less on my surroundings. I walked around the side of the car, starting it again to see how things responded while it was running. When I saw that the circuit still weren't lighting up in the correct order I shut it down to try again.

"I do not have time for drama," Niki said like an annoyed father who was dealing with bickering teenagers.

"And you think I do?" I had no desire to entertain how I really felt about the so-called team.

"Then, tell them what to finish, and take a break before you become a lawsuit."

"It's not that simple."

"Make it simple," He said, but I only gave him a look, "Fine, I'll go make it simple."

This got me to stop, he knew that it would. So as he went to walk towards them, I said, "Don't...I'll eat the apple, but then you have to finish this how I want you to."

I started to take off my gloves like a truce. Noticing this, Niki came in my direction to switch places. However, before he did, he held out the apple, "A deal is a deal."

I swiped the apple from his hand and slumped onto the stool near the car. After rolling the apple along the side of my pants, I brought it up my mouth to take a satisfying crunch. I breathed out through my nose as I chewed and looked around the garage. The useless crowd of men, continued to look on, now with smug smirks on their lips. I had lost our nonexistent battle, I had passed the baton to Niki.

"You have changed everything," Niki said once he looked at the car. Then, he looked at me. I was positive grease littered my arms and face as earlier the towel soaked with sweat and oil became useless, "There is nothing in the car. Where are all the parts?"

"The trash," I continued to crunched on the apple obnoxiously, my frustrations obvious in each bite.

"You were supposed to fix it," Niki pinched the bridge of his nose, "Not throw everything away."

"This is fixing it," I said through a mouthful of food, "Your structure was all wrong-

"You eat like a cow," Niki said as he looked further into the car, "How am I supposed to focus with all that noise."

"The same way I did while Clay was talking to me."

"He's keen on you."

"I know." I groaned slightly, turning the apple to the other side, "He very...talkative-

"Annoying," Niki said at the same time.

"You aren't much different," I noted, before lulling my head to the side, "You haven't stopped talking to me since you got here, so be nice."

"Why?"

"Why not?" I clenched my jaw, before raising an eyebrow, "He's the only one here that thinks I'm not going to destroy the car if I touch it."

"That is not true," He tutted softly, starting to become more focused on finding his missing exhaust pipe.

"You're right, those boys over there have been nice enough to let me have the car all to myself," I spat sarcastically. I knew what he meant by his statment, but I couldn't help but bring attention to it again. Especially when the culprits were looking me dead in the eye.

"I prefer it that way," Niki stated. I realized, then, that would probably be the closest thing to a compliment from him.

---

"It's terrible, drives like a pig," Niki concluded after his first test lap.

"Oh, you can't say that," Ferrari's head mechanic whispered, looking to the side praying no one else heard him.

"Why not?" Niki asked, pulling off his gloves and helmet.

"It's a Ferrari!" His arms went up in stereotypical Italian exasperation.

"It's a shit box. It understeers like crazy, and the weight distribution is a disaster," He said, being heard clearly as his balaclava rests on his forehead. He gestured around him, “ It's amazing, all these facilities, and you make a piece of crap like this."

With hands-on his hips, the guy started to form an expression, but Niki was first to mock his attitude, "Huh?"

Niki wouldn't just accuse Ferriari for being crap if he hadn't truly meant it, but I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the exchange. During it, I sat next to the owner of the team. He was a kind old man who only knew Italian. A very wealthy man who had an affinity for cars.

"Cosa ha detto?" the old man asked. What did he say?

"Niente di importante..." I shrugged. Nothing important.

"Margot!" Niki beckoned me to the car. Pushing myself up from the chair next to the older man, I strolled over to Niki as he hoisted himself out of the car. "We need to fix the understeer and come up with something to help the weight distribution, it's shit."

"I heard," I said as I squatted down to take a look for myself. I knew I wouldn't feel it the same as when it drove, but it helped when trying to figure out how to maneuver things, "I'm not sure I can do much about the understeer without making the car illegal. Illegally though, I can do a lot."

"Certainly not," He said not appreciating my humor, "Pull the car in while I talk to him, then we'll address this."

It felt strange to get back into the car. It was like muscle memory the way I lowered my body into the cockpit-like seat. The garage was less than a few meters away, I would barely be driving the car, I could push it if I truly felt like it, which in hindsight I wish I had done. Starting it up, I slowly drove it to its place and practically ripped my body out the minute I had parked it.

The Italian weather was no longer the only thing making me sweat. Come on, get a grip. In an attempt to calm myself, I went through the steps of what I was going to do. See where the engine is housed, work on aerodynamics, put exhausts on the sides for aerodynamic design and weight considerations. Simple. Familiar. My hands were at my sides, twitching slightly any time I thought of touching it. Taking in a deep breath from my nose, I let it out through my mouth. I repeated this for a few minutes, thinking if I waited long enough, my body would respond. But anytime I went to reach out, I drew in another prolonging breath.

"Ora che facciamo parte della Ferrari, cosa ne dici se prendiamo una bevanda per festeggiare?" I jumped slightly at the sudden voice. Now that we're part of Ferrari, what do you say we grab a drink to celebrate?

"Sto bene grazie," I cleared my throat as if I was clearing my thoughts. I'm good.

"Siamo a Fiorano ormai da una settimana! In realtà qui il sole non è come Londra. C'è così tanto da festeggiare!" Clay tried to ooze his Italian charm but it wasn't working in his favor. We've been in Fiorano for a week now! there's actually sun here not like London! There is so much to celebrate!

"È stata anche una settimana in cui mi hai chiesto di uscire." I poked fun at Clay's antics, trying to lighten my own mood. It's also been a week of you asking me out.

"Funziona ancora?" He gave me a grin. Is it working yet?

"Cosa ne pensi?" What do you think?

"Come on Niki, tell her that she should grab a drink with me to celebrate," He switched to English as Niki went to brush past the two of us only to get caught in Clay's web.

"Celebrate?" Niki laughed slightly, before saying, "What is there to celebrate exactly? She doesn't drive a car. She is not apart of Ferrari. She has already declined your offer. She has work she is behind on. Must I continue?"

"Thanks, Niki," I mumbled sarcastically.

"Is that it? You won't go without him," Clay looked between the two of us, then changing his tune, "Fine, we all go! A friend of mine is having a thing this weekend, it'll be perfect."

"I'm not the social type," I said, hoping to excuse myself from the invitation, "You two enjoy yourselves."

"And you think he's the social type?" Clay pointed to Niki, "Dai, non puoi lasciarmi con lui!" Come on you can't leave me with him!

"Socialization, it's a distraction," Niki pointed his lips down and brushed him off confidently.

"Fine then, you and me, bellissima," Clay turned towards me again, "Agree to this one time and I won't ask you ever again."

"Clay," I said his name, paired with a come-on look.

"You two are all car car car, never fun fun fun," Clay threw up his hands while he complained, then held up a singular finger, "One thing, all I'm asking of you."

"Fine," I sighed, knowing agreeing would be the only way I could be left alone at the moment.

"I'll go." Niki agreed to something I never thought he would. He had his hand on his hips while the two of us gave him a look of disbelief which he only waved off with a hand before getting back to work.

#niki #lauda #niki lauda fluff #niki lauda fic #niki lauda slowburn #niki lauda x oc #niki lauda x reader #niki lauda #daniel brühl #rush 2013

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kumoriyami-xiuzhen · 3 years

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Hakuoki Shinkai: Ginsei no Shou - Saito Hajime Chapter #7 English Translation

My translation of the 7th Ginsei no Shou chapter for Saito... It’s probably because that this is my favourite chapter from the game and one that I found especially enjoyable to read (and had more of an understanding of it before getting translations for this lol) that I somehow translated this in record time when compared to all the other things I’ve worked on....

Unlike Kazama’s final Tsukikage chapter, the dialogue for this wasn’t all separated line by line in the CN TLs I found for the Saito chapters [NAMELY BECAUSE I WROTE EACH DAMN FUCKING WORD OUT FOR THAT CHAPTER], so some of the text in this remains lumped together. Also, huzzah for google translate providing the translations of place names since I wouldn’t have been able to translate the Japanese words that had been left in the original tl for this otherwise. I don’t usually make adjustments based on the original JP text until I start editing for the video... which will be done later.

All images used in this post were screencaps of game footage I recorded through vlc... also is it just me who feels that my English comes across as a lot more archaic when I stick to the original tl sentence structure...? lol. Anyway, as always, my translation may not be 100% accurate since I do not translate from Japanese.

PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR ANOTHER GINSEI NO SHOU SAITO CHAPTER... one that I do not intend to translate right away... well I also include it in a note about what chapter it refers too. lol. it’s right below the cut.

Enjoy~! OR ELSE! MWHAHAHA!!

(jk, lol. plus, i’m too lazy to think of anything. oh and im currently working on the subtitle positioning for this now as the file got transferred recently since i finished the first round of timing [i need to do this multiple times to get the fade in/out of my subtitles to match the timing of game text’s fade/in... or to at least have them as close as possible] before having all of these tech problems.)

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Forward Notes

Based on what I remember from tokio-fujita’s notes (sorry but I didn’t check since im kinda busy rn, and the internet on my laptop is kinda unstable as I’m still transferring files... 17.3 gb remains from the dramas transfer) on Saito’s position in the Shinsengumi after leading them to Aizu, I’ve left his position as taichou in this translation due to how the only English translation for that is ‘captain’ which doesn’t show a difference in roles from when he was the Third Division captain ‘kaichou/kumicho’ [note to self: include this along with the link to the page in the post description later. also i will probably just change this to ‘captain’ anyway when i do my subtitle video].

Chapter 6 and 7 occur in Aizu

Hakuoki Shinkai: Ginsei no Shou - Saito Hajime Chapter #7

Translation by KumoriYami

7th month, 4th year of Keiou, after the Shinsengumi left for Sendai——

The Aizu, who had offended the Satcho were engulfed in the bitter flames of war.

When Shirakawa Castle was attacked, it would be a lie to say that I wasn't worried then.

Hijikata-san, Heisuke-kun, Shimada-san, and Souma-kun.

It was no longer possible to fight alongside the people who we deeply trusted since the beginning.

However……

I still have Saito-san.

Saito-san also me, although/even if/despite how I can't fight alongside him.

We relied upon one another, setting out for Shirakawa——

Shirakawa Castle, which had become the headquarters for my father's rasetsu—— we confronted him and Kazama Chikage there.

As Kazama-san had the overwhelming strength of an oni, if the fight was drawn out, Saito-san would have no chance of winning.

But, we still had....

Comrades we could rely on.

Even if [they] leave. Even if [they/they've] choose/chosen different paths.

As long as they maintained/followed their own bushido, everyone was still heading in the same direction.

I believe that as long as we moved forward, one day, our paths will surely cross again, and we will fight to the very end.

If only/I wish that everyone could see each other one more time, I could only pray that everyone would be safe……

Saito-san once again returned to the battlefield.

4th year of Keiou, 8th month

The Aizu Shinsengumi under the command of the Aizu, fought at the Bonari Pass——

After that, they fought bravely to stop the New Government army from entering Aizu Castle.

By the ninth month however, there were not many members left of the Aizu Shinsengumi, yet they still set out to defend/protect Nyoraido [refers to chapter 6] .

This is the story of what happened while I was waiting for Saito-san after he left.

Fourth year of Keiou, Ninth month

Saito-san and the other members of the troop left camp to protect Nyoraido.

Following his instructions/In accordance with his wishes, I accompanied the men who were seriously injured in battle to the rear of the formation.

Yukimura: Please wait a bit longer, I will treat you immediately.

Soldier:……At the most crucial moment, to be unable to help Saito-taichou, I'm terribly sorry.

Yukimura: ……There was no way you could, you are wounded after all.

Soldier: The taicho, is he really okay?

Perhaps it was because his wounds were too painful, that the soldier continued to weakly repeat himself.

Yukimura: Saito-san will be fine. He will surely come back alive.

In order to reassure the soldier, I spoke decisively/resolutely.

Yukimura: That's why, you need to focus on recovering right now.

Soldier:......Okay, I will.

Three days later.

The soldiers who had stayed in Nyoraido, none of them had come back yet.

The news from the front lines had also been cut off.

All that we knew was was the hopeless information brought back by the wounded.

There weren't enough bandages and medicines, and the wounded kept pouring in.

The soldier's and my worries became more intense.

It was at this time——

Aizu soldier: This is terrible/Bad news! Apparently Nyoraido has been completely surrounded by the enemy! The Shinsengumi in Nyoraido might have completely wiped out.

Yukimura:……!

The moment I heard such a dreadful announcement/news, it felt like the blood had been drained from my entire body. [news/information might be changed for ^^^ sentences. might use intelligence, communication]

A commotion spread throughout the entire formation [camp sounds more appropriate].

Soldier: Yukimura-san……

The wounded soldier looked at me with an anxious expression.

Previously, the instant I heard such news, I probably would have broken down into tears.

But, now——

Yukimura:……When such fierce fighting is going on, all sorts of rumours will be flying around we can't assume that everything is accurate before receiving an official confirmation.

Hearing what I said, the soldier seemed to calm down.

Soldier:……That's right. Before figuring things out, we'll still believe in/continue to trust the Taichou, and wait until he returns.

Even if Nyoraido has been surrounded by the enemy, the Shinsengumi may not necessarily be completely wiped out.

Shinsengumi——they, along with Saito-san, I don't know how many times they had escaped from death.

More importantly, Saito-san cannot die yet.

——flashback——

Saito: Yukimura, I wish to make you a promise.

Yukimura: A promise for me......? What is it?" Saito: No matter what happens in the future....... I will protect you with my life. This decision is not because of the Shinsengumi, Hijikata-san, or an order from the Aizu....... but of my own volition.

——end flashback——

At the time, he promised……

Even now, I can still clearly remember how we kissed after.

Saito-san, he made a promise to me.

He will come back to me.

I repeated those words in my heart over and over again, as if to convince myself......

But my heart was beating wildly, and cold sweat dripped from my forehead.

This wasn't able to eliminate my sense of unease.

Yukimura: …………

I truly wanted to rush over to Nyoraido, to immediately go to his side.

But, my duty right now, is to treat the wounded here.

So…… I could only trust/believe in him, and wait here.

After, I continued to focus on treating the wounded while waiting for Saito-san to return.

But, reports on the situation in Nyoraido, they never came again,

The sense of [them being] defeat[ed] became more intense, and the dreary mood gradually enveloped the entire formation [will probably use "camp"]. [The feeling that they had been defeated became more intense, and...]

Soldier 2: Yukimura-san, isn't it time for you to rest? You look very pale.

Yukimura: No, it isn't time to rest yet/it's not the time to rest.

Soldier 2:……Under these circumstances, if you collapse, once something happens, there won't be anyone to depend/rely on [for what you do]. Even if it's just a short nap…… please, for everyone's sake.

When faced with such a strong request, I couldn't refuse.

Yukimura: Okay. Then I'll go and nap/sleep for a bit.

I decided to go find a corner to go nap in .

Perhaps it was because I was so tired, but once I closed my eyes, I immediately fell asleep.

As I slept, I had a dream.

Yukimura Nn, nn......

I didn't know where I was in this dream, the surroundings were hazy as I looked around.

Where……is this?

Yukimura: Is this the Aizu's…… camp……?

……Right.

I was waiting for Saito-san to come back…… then……

My head felt numb and heavy as I looked around again……

Saito:……Yukimura.

Yukimura: Saito-san……!

The person I wanted to see suddenly appeared before me/Now that the one I wanted to see suddenly appeared, I immediately got up.

Yukimura: You're back from fighting at Nyoraido! Where are the rest of the soldiers……

Saito:……In regards to this, I have something that I must tell you.

Yukimura: Eh……?

Hearing him say such ominous remarks, I couldn't help but feel confused.

Saito: Even now, you have always been at my side…… My gratitude towards you goes beyond words. If I didn't have you, I wouldn't have been able to continue fighting until now.

Yukimura: Thanks for what [reword later]……

Why was he suddenly saying such a thing?

Yukimura:……To speak of thanks, it's too much, I don't need it [It's too much for you to speak of thanking me/it's unnecessary for you to thank me]. Because, you and I……

We are no longer outsiders [/We can no longer be considered as outsiders/strangers...not sure what i’ll go with here] ——I just wanted to say that.

I don't know why, but I couldn't say anything.

The Saito-san before my eyes/right now, there was a subtle sadness to his expression, as if he was extremely sorry.

He…… wasn't like the one [man] I knew at all.

In this unnatural atmosphere, he spoke solemnly.

Saito: I……there is something I must tell you…… No matter what happens, no matter what you experience/encounter/face…… but now I [reword later]……

Yukimura:……!?

I was too late to ask him——

Saito-san's figure was already starting to fade away, then completely disappeared into the darkness of night.

Yukimura: Saito-san, don't go! What are saying to me——

I shouted out then/and lost consciousness.

When I opened my eyes again, my entire body was drenched in sweat.

Yukimura: Just now, that was a dream……

The foreboding feeling/premonition made my heart beat wildly.

Why was it at this time, that I dreamed of Saito-san?

Furthermore, in my dream, it seemed like he had something to tell me.

I had a bad hunch/felt a sense of foreboding, but there was nothing I could do.

Looking around everywhere, Saito-san and the others still hadn't come back.

Although/Even if I dreaded to think so……

Just now, it was just a bad dream, it shouldn't be a sign that something bad would happen.

Saito-san and the other soldiers, what happened to them?

……No, it couldn't be.

He promised me, he would surely come back.

But, if that wasn't the case?

……If I continued to wait here, would he really come back?

I……

Choices

【Search for him】【Believe in him and wait】 <-

Although I wanted to immediately rush to Saito-san's side……

I still remembered what he said before.

——flashback——

Saito:......As time passes, things change. The world, ideals, and even the Shinsengumi. Even so, that does not mean that everything must change. As things change with time, so too will there be things that do not change. And I...... I believe in the things that do not change.

——end flashback——

……Saito-san had never gone against the promise he made me/never broke the promise he made me.

Regardless if it was when he left the Shinsengumi to join the Guardians of the Imperial Tomb, or when he was defeated at/during the Battle of Toba-Fushimi.

Also, there was when he ended up fighting Kazama-san.

In the end, he always came back to my side [me].

So, as he promised, he will certainly come back to me.

So, I too——

Yukimura:…………

An incredible feeling swelled in my chest.

It wasn't because of panic, rather it felt like the stars were whispering to me……

This feeling pushed me out of camp.

Outside of camp was a forest that always looked the same at night [reword later].

Although I didn't know if any of the soldiers would return, I thought……

I felt somewhat dejected, and couldn't help but look up towards the night sky.

It was full of stars, quietly twinkling.

Long before I was born, these stars, they must have been watching the world in silence/been silently watching the world.

No matter how many years passed, these silver stars would always shine in the night sky.

Yukimura: Me too……

Under the allure of the dim starlight, I couldn't help but say this/I was unable to restrain my emotions.

Yukimura: I also…… believe in the things that do not change.

Even if the path forward was covered in darkness, the light that pointed towards the future still shined.

Yukimura: I believe——no matter what happens in the future, you will not change.

Just as I muttered this to myself.

There was the sound of movement through foliage.

I froze, staring attentively in the direction of the sound.

After/Then……

???: Is.…… someone there?

The moment I heard that voice, I burst into tears [or: almost burst into tears].

Shortly after, a single silhouette flashed in the woods, and its figure gradually became clearer.

Saito: Chizuru…… is that you?

My beloved/The man/The one I loved was calling my name, I could no longer/was no longer able to control myself.

Yukimura: Saito-san…… Hajime-san!

I shouted his name, throwing myself at him.

Yukimura: You came back……! Hajime-san……!

I wanted to welcome him back with a smile.

I didn't want to be crying when we were reunited.

If I cried, that would make it harder to see Hajime-san’s face……

All sorts of thoughts that I had been repressing came bursting out of my heart.

Saito: Ah…… I'm back, Chizuru. Didn't I promise you that I would return? Why are you crying? Could it be, that you didn't believe me?

Hearing Hajime-san's question, I shook my head.

Yukimura: How could I not trust you. However, I was always worried…… [and] when I heard the bad rumours at camp, my heart felt like it was going to crack/split open. Also…… I had a dream, a dream where you went far, far away……

Saito:……I see.

As I cried, Hajime-san awkwardly embraced me.

His uniform, it was completely dirty……

Although his uniform was black, a single glance showed that there were bloodstains and bullet holes everywhere.

Just from seeing him like this, I could tell he had seen a fierce battle. [ or "it was as if I could see a fierce battle." check jp mtl]

A moment later, Hajime-san showed a bitter expression.

Saito: When [we were] surrounded by the New Government Army, I was prepared to be completely wiped out/defeated…… At this time, one of the seriously injured/wounded soldiers told me: we've all been injured [been completely beaten... or some other word that i think of later that implies helplessness] and can no longer be of use to fight. Leave us behind and get out of here with the rest of the troop members——

Yukimura:……!

The decision that had been before Hajime-san, the weight of it left me speechless.

Saito: The me from before, perhaps I would have accepted this proposal. But…… the me now, it was impossible [reword later]. Hijikata-san entrusted me with the leadership of the Shinsengumi. Additionally, I could not leave those who trusted me and stayed/chose to fight together with me when the Aizu were abandoned.

Yukimura:……Nn.

I looked straight into Hajime-san's eyes, and nodded approvingly/nodded in agreement.

Hearing about the changes in Hajime-san's heart, I felt delighted/happy, as if it was my own affair.

Saito: If I had accepted that soldier's proposal, I likely would have returned sooner…… Carefully leading the troops back, it took longer than I thought…… I'm sorry for making you worry about me.

After listening to Hajime-san's words, I shook my head.

Yukimura: I……that's not important/it doesn't matter. As long as are you are like this, and as long as you come back to me…… that's enough.

Saito:…………Yes [alt I see/is that so. check audio].

Yukimura: What happened to the other troop members/soldiers?

Saito: Because they're moving while carrying the wounded, I think that it will probably be a while longer before they catch up. But they will certainly catch up.

Yukimura: So it's like that, that's good……

Just by/from feeling Hajime-san's temperature [warmth] and his breathing, I was already very happy.

As long as he was like this now, and alive [As long as he lived like this now]…… being at my side, it was enough.

From the way he was looking at me, I could clearly feel that he felt the same way I did.

Saito:……Even for myself, I find it/feel that it's incredible/unimaginable.

Yukimura:……?

I tilted my head, not understanding what he meant.

Saito: Previously, I thought, the ideal wish of a warrior/samurai [check audio] would be to die in battle. However, I now fight for the sake of my comrades, so as to survive [so that we survive/live. chck jp mtl].

Indeed, if it was the past Hajime-san, when faced between choosing life and death, he likely wouldn’t have hesitated.

But......

Yukimura: I.......love the you now....... and I love the you back then. No....... no matter however you are, I will always accept you.

Hajime-san's eyes narrowed in satisfaction.

Saito:……You once told me before. The answer, the one I painfully struggled to find, whatever it was, you would accept it.

Yukimura:……Nn.

Saito: The one who changed me, it was probably you, Chizuru.

Yukimura: Eh......?

Saito: At the most dire point/height of the fighting, I thought of your face…… and my determination to not die grew stronger. Furthermore, every time I thought of how you were doing everything to help the wounded at camp, I kept thinking that these soldiers must not die here.

Yukimura:…………

Carefully listening to my lover's voice, his words, made me feel infinitely happy. [Listening to my lover's voice, his words made me feel extremely happy.]

When Hajime-san was desperately fighting at Nyoraido, if I was able to provide him some courage……

Nothing could make me happier.

After a short while, Hajime-san slightly tilted his head, almost as if he was urging something.

There was no need to ask what would happen next.

I closed my eyes, quietly responding to him.

After a pleasant wait, our lips were pressed together.

This kiss, it was very restrained, just like how he was.

My heart was beating loudly.

These thoughts became increasingly stronger in my heart, how I wish the two of us could stay in this forest at night forever. [check jp mtl. i’m probably going to go with something to the effect of: How I wish we could just stay forever in this moment, alone and encompassed by this forest at night.*this sentence is pissing me off lol.]

No matter what happens, I will never leave him again.

Saito:……From now on, I will never let you be this sad again. So, let me see you smile/your smile. In order to see your smile, no matter what happens, I will always return to you. [check jp mtl]

Before, I once asked him what he would do one day if he had to drink the Ochimizu for the Shinsengumi……

The answer that came from his lips without any hesitation, was to 【drink it】.

Yukimura:…………Nn. Hajime-san…… Hajime-san, as long as you stay by my side, I will always be happy.

He had asked me to smile, but i couldn't help but to continue crying...

As a result, I was smiling and crying in front of the person that i loved.

About half a month later, the 22nd of the 9th month——

The Aizu-han, which had been firmly resisting the New Government army, surrendered.

——End——

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well, I probably could have made it easier for myself if I just copied the flashback text from SK/KW/EB... but I just couldn’t bring myself to look up the games to copy said text (had to uninstall them from my old pc for space to take stuff off my passport) since it’d really bother me knowing if I copied something than said it was my translation... which is why i didn’t. ah well. as a translator, the idea of taking credit on something that i didn’t translate really doesn’t sit well with me... but I still think that what I did for those parts came close to what I remember from the games...

gotta say though: I really dislike the word 「隊士」. In both Chinese and Japanese... and that, as a translator, i really don’t like how the Gregorian calendar names the months lol. it’s just so much easier to just leave the date as what it says based on the old Japanese calendar... with the era name and month number. let’s me not worry about doing research to ensure the accuracy of things (i require that all of my videos be precise when it comes to dates)...

also, i wish it’d snow everyday for a week. id get motivated enough to finish a chapter with that.... tho it’d need to be a heavy snowfall so it’s very visible. lol. maintaining my motivation on one thing for a long period of time just doesn't come easy to me... especially when it’s something that has +4000 words in it.

#Hakuoki #Hakuouki #Saito Hajime #Hakuoki Ginsei no Shou Translation #Hakuoki Game Translation #Yukimura Chizuru #hakuoki shinkai

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ourwrittenstories-arch · 3 years

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Rules::

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Please be patient with me. I’m either stupid fast at replying or I take a few days. If it seems I’ve forgotten you, though, send me an IM

Rule Two

That being said I will reply when I feel like. I will always tell you if I need to drop a thread, if I take long it doesn’t mean I’ve dropped it. If you need to drop it because I’m taking too long, let me know. I promise not to be mad.

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Rule Four

I will not RP with anime/cartoon/game FC’s (There are exceptions like RE8 chars). I will also not RP with any deceased FC’s

Rule Five

As awesome as it would be to be bilingual, I only speak and know English. Anything you see me post that is not English was brought to you by Google Translate.

Rule Six

I do not have a verse page, but that doesn’t mean I’m not open to AU’s. I LOVE AU’s. I’m a multi-ship multi-post blog and am trash for any and all AU’s. Just ask!

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I can write a lot in my replies (And a lot of it can be unnecessary detail) but don't feel pressured to match my length! Just, please, try to give me something more than two sentences to work with. I don't typically enjoy writing short replies, but I understand muses can be fickle things.

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I don't enjoy pregnancy threads or writing children so I, typically, will steer clear of those types of threads. If our muses have been in a long relationship (and we have been writing partners for a while as well) I may make an exception, but don't come in expecting babies. My girls all have IUD's unless stated otherwise. That being said I am 100% down with the breeding kink.

Rule Nine

If a muse has (unknown) somewhere in their age it means they are old old. Like 100+, so age can be changed if you are uncomfortable with age gap.

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I have a handful of chronic issues that effect my sleep and my mood so I'm up all hours of the day. I live in EST time zone, but I'm often up at 4AM so.....it's a gamble lol!

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I have SEVERE ANXIETY and struggle messaging new people. IF I FOLLOWED YOU I WANT TO RP WITH YOU! I'm probably just figuring out how to message you without puking lol. I would appreciate the help, if you want, or you can wait until I gather the enrve.

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My grammar isn't the best in the galaxy, ok? I over use comma's and never really figured out the semi-colon. If something is horribly wrong or you can't understand what I've written, just ask please.

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Rule Fourteen

If I have ever posted a meme please feel free to send one in even if it was a year ago! With that in mind, I do prefer introduction threads with new muns/characters if I am not familiar with them.

Rule Fifteen

Don't like my starters

Rule Sixteen

Don't God-Mod blah blah and Follow TOS k I love you <3 <3

Muses:

Girls:

Inessa Morea

Nicknames: Nessy, Nessa, Ness Age: Unknwon (25) DoB: May 11th Pronouns: She/Her Species: Nymph (Forest) Sexual Orientation: Bi-Curious Position: Sub (Potentially verse) Romantic Orientation: Demiromantic Hometown: New York Occupation: Flourist Personality: Sweet, Curious, Oblivious, Playful, Innocent, Devious Face Claim: Candice King ○

Cassia Poole-

Nicknames: Cass, Cassy Age: Unknown (19-24) DoB: November 3rd Pronouns: She/Her Species: Nymph (Water(mermaid)) Sexual Orientation: Bisexual Position: Sub Romantic Orientation: Demiromantic Hometown: New York Occupation: Student (Robotics and Marine bio-tech)/ Swim coach Personality:Innocent, Nerdy, Hyperactive, Bratty, Playful, Lame Face Claim: Jane Levy ○

Amara Nyx

Nicknames: Marr Age: Unknown (32) DoB: Oct 13th Pronouns: She/Her Species: Nymph (Underworld) Sexual Orientation: Pansexual Position: Versatile Romantic Orientation: Demiromantic Hometown: New York Occupation: None/ Sugar baby Personality: Smart ass, Rude, Bitchy, Judgmental, Hateful, Possessive, Affectionate Face Claim: Elizabeth Gillies ○

Laleh Narvaez

Nicknames: Lala Age: 25(600) DoB: Sept 4th Pronouns: She/Her Species:Lamia/Naga Sexual Orientation: Pansexual Position: Versatile Romantic Orientation: Demiromantic Hometown: Argentina Occupation: Dancer/Jack of all Trades for Freak Show/Snake Charmer(Circus) Personality:Sharp, Sultry, Flirtatious, Seductive, Venomous Face Claim: Eiza Gonzalez ○

Samira Eve

Nickname: Sam, Sammy, Mira Age: (Unknown) 20-23 DoB: June 2nd Pronouns: She/Her Species: Air Nymph Sexual Orientation: Pansexual Position: Verse Romantic Orientation: Panromantic Hometown: Boston Occupation: Thief/Courier Personality: Sarcastic, Smooth, Sassy, Flighty, Unreliable, Persuasive, troublemaker FC: Elisha Applebaum

○

Maybelline New-York

Nicknames: May Age: 28 DoB:Sep 17 Pronouns: She/Her Species: Zombie Sexual Orientation: Bisexual Position: Sub Romantic Orientation: Demiromantic Hometown: New Orleans Occupation: None Personality: Shy, Angry, Mute, Hungry, Sassy" Bio: Maybelline has no memory of her life before she had been murdered at the age of 23. Hell, she's not even certain that's her age. Her name came from reading a magazine ad when asked who she was after walking into morgue. Zombies had been a small pest problem for a while now, usually obvious in their appearance and traits, but something inside of May kept her from fully succumbing to the sickness. All she felt was hunger and, after begging the mortician to, promptly sewed her mouth shut and clipped her nails. Now she speaks in sign or with a chalkboard she carries around to communicate. After weeks of study, it was discovered that Maybelline had a tumor that had taken over the majority of her brain, blocking the strain from traveling and taking her over. Face Claim: Camila Mendes ○

Juniper Lee

Nicknames: June, Junie Age:29 DoB: Feb 16th Pronouns: She/Her Species:Witch Sexual Orientation: Straight Position: Submissive Romantic Orientation: Straight Hometown: Seoul until 5 then Massachusetts Occupation:Herbalist/Illusionist Personality:Soft spoken, Kind, Intelligent, Playful, Self Concious, Delicate, unsure Face Claim: Jamie Chung ○

Barabelle Gunn

Nicknames: Belle, Belly, Bara Age:27 DoB: May 28th Pronouns: She/Her Species: Human Sexual Orientation: Straight Position: Versatile Romantic Orientation: Straight Hometown: Killin Scottland Occupation: Hunter (supernatural) / Mercenary Personality: Brash, Rude, Sarcastic, Bull Headed, Loyal, Protective Face Claim: Karen Gillan AU Verses- Resident Evil 8 Verse ○ Leora Brandr Nicknames: Leo Age: Unknown (26) DoB: Dec 21st Pronouns: She/Her Species: Nymph (Fire) Sexual Orientation: Pansexual Position: Versatile Romantic Orientation: Demiromantic Hometown: Queens Occupation: Pilot/ Glass Blower Personality: Gentle, Kind, Shy, Short-Fused, Fiery, Passionate Face Claim: Daisy Ridley

Boys:

Carlyle Abrams

Nicknames: Lyle Age:32 DoB: April 16th Pronouns: He/Him Species:Human Sexual Orientation: Straight Position: Top/Dominant Romantic Orientation: Straight Hometown: London Occupation: Private Investigator Personality: Charming,Calm, Kind, Playful, Posessive, Warm Face Claim: Adam Driver ○

Maxwell Ardeleane Nicknames: Max Age: Unknown (31) DoB: January 8th Pronouns: He/Him Species: Elder Vampire Sexual Orientation: Pansexual Position: Top/Dominant Romantic Orientation: Demiromantic Hometown: Bucharest Romania Occupation: Mob Boss Personality: Charming, Polite, Sarcastic,Dark, Cruel, Posessive." Face Claim: Tyler Hoechlin ○ Syrian Nyx

Nicknames: Syrian Age: Unknown(34) DoB: Oct 13th Pronouns: He/Him Species: Nymph (Underworld) (Alpha) Sexual Orientation: Bisexual Position: Top/Dominant Romantic Orientation: Demiromantic Hometown: New York Occupation: Bank CEO Personality:Charming, Egotistical, Posessive, Rude, Dark Humor Face Claim: Oliver Jackson-Cohen ○ Esben Hvit

Nicknames: Esben, Ben, Es Age: 27 DoB: Oct 20 Pronouns: He/Him Species: Were-Raven (Albino) Sexual Orientation: Bisexual Position: Vesatile Romantic Orientation: Biromantic Hometown:Seattle Occupation: Famous Writer(Penned under Raven White) Personality:Cocky, Quiet, Shy, Rude, Snarky, Intelligent Face Claim: Lucky Blue Smith ○

Carter Higgins

Nicknames: Carter, Car Age: 24 DoB: June 12 Pronouns: He/Him Species: Human Sexual Orientation: Bisexual Position: Vesatile Romantic Orientation: Biromantic Hometown: Nashville Tenn Occupation: Street/Bar Musician Personality:Sweet, Friendly, Romantic, Goofy, Playful Face Claim: Cody Christian

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Canon characters:

Peter Hale: Teen Wolf

Chris Argent: Teen Wolf

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#Muses #Rules;;#1x1 rp #indie rp #smut rp #18+rp #independent rp #oc rp #canon rp #looking for partners #self promo #psa #mun things #discord friendly

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authoratmidnight · 4 years

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A crossover idea I had the other day.

Glitch Techs-VRAINS crossover.

When they were talking about the possibility of a Glitch being able to disguise itself as a human and how if it managed that what that would would even mean and Five’s description made me go ‘oh my god, that sounds like an Ignis’

So, crossover time.

Not sure how or why the Glitch Tech team would go to Japan, maybe a work sponsored trip or for work. Small details. They’re there and in Den City.

While there they pick up a strong glitch signal which leads them to a plaza (currently showcasing a live stream of some event in Link VRAINS) and specifically the food truck parked there. Except they don’t see a glitch, just a dude cooking hotdogs.

They try to talk to him but oops language barrier. Until he drags in an impossibly pretty young man to act as translator. Who introduces himself as Lightning and states that he’d an android. And weirdly is the source of the glitch readings. They can’t actually do anything so they settle for getting food and having Lightning explain to them about Link VRAINS while they watch the stream.

And it’s fine and dandy till it’s not and something manifests inside Link VRAINS. So they instinctively go to help, completely ignoring Lightning trying to tell them that it’s under control.

They login via guest accounts, only to find several people already fighting the Glitch.

Enter the local heroes of Link VRAINS, Playmaker, Revolver and Blue Maiden (and their Ignises Ai, Aqua and Windy-I’m throwing him w/ Rev b/c the idea sounds fun lol). They were just chillin in LV, participating in the event when whoops some rogue malware suddenly got loose and went on a rampage in LV and now it’s turned into some kind of monster is beyond strange.

While fighting it/getting logged in users to safety, they run into the Glitch Techs who insist on tagging along and fighting it and explain what it is (since LV is virtual I’m just gonna pretend it translates things automatically, sort of like how being transformed allowed the girls to understand each other in Ojamajo).

Side note, while in Link Vrains that Ignis are their tiny Ignis forms b/c they use SOLtis outside of LV. Also they too register as high level glitches to the GTs. Also they turn into tentacle form to eat up the malware, which effectively neutralizes it

So they fight it and get rid of it (by way of what looks like a game of Hungry Hungry Ignis) and the GTs want to mind wipe them (as they’re supposed to do after Glitch events) but Rev is like 1) no 2) you’d have to mind wipe all of Den City cause this was live streamed so a lot of ppl saw it, and there’s no way they can manage that so again, no and 3) since it happened IN link VRAINS everyone’ll just assume it was a hacking incident or something. At which point he, PM and BM proceed to just log on out.

Yusaku decides to swing by Cafe Nagi to see Kusanagi/tell him about the sit and WHOOOPS there’s the Glitch Techs. Again. Who then zero in on Ai and now it’s Ai’s turn to play translator for Yusaku.

Everything after this is toying w/ ideas including:

-Yusaku’s unusual Link Sense causing him to set off their censors as some kind of anomaly which is very confusing b/c while Ai and Lightning are androids (albeit, very life like androids and in Ai’s case, surprisingly emotional) Yusaku is absolutely human

-Lightning and Ai absolutely set their stuff off as ultra rare glitches but like, they can’t do anything b/c the Ignis, aren’t doing anything. They’re clearly not a threat so they can’t just, take them away.

-Ryoken showing up to check in on Yusaku (Windy has been left with Pandor since she’s trying to teach him manners cause he’s kind of a brat/wild child lol)

-I def think the GT crew would figure out that Yusaku = Playmaker if only b/c of Ai, the tiny purple AI and the handsome SOLtis have the same readings

-I want Roboppi to show up at some point but idk how

-Yusaku gets dragged into showing them around, or at least showing them where the arcade is, since they are made up of gamers (and proceeds to get thrashed at video games b/c he’s a hacker not a gamer, before making Ai play instead)

-Yusaku introducing Five to Duel Monsters (we know he plays card games b/c we saw him playing against Ryu) they communicate using what’s basically google translate since Ai is busy. It’s not perfect but it works

-the GT crew trying to figure out what is UP with Yusaku and Ai’s relationship b/c even if they can’t understand them, from tone of voice and body language alone they can tell that Ai is flirting with/teasing Yusaku and while it does seem to be annoying Yusaku he seems, fine with it?? He’s not making any attempt to stop Ai and they swear he even smiled. And when it’s clear Yusaku is tired/all peopled out and they need to split Ai is just, so tender with him and Yusaku accepts it. And even tho Ai is an AI there are moments they swear, he’s almost, human.

#glitch techs #vrains #ygo vrains #long post

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straynstay · 4 years

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Astronaut theory

first of all, I am confusion lol

SKZ broke me in a way that my mind is overthinking so many things that now I believe that anything from their MVs might be a sign. And may I add that Chan's recent live only made me even more confused PLS BOY IF YOU SEE THIS DROP THE THEORY YOU SAID WAS QUITE CLOSE TO THE TRUTH cause I'm nearly losing my mind, I need answers!!!!

so here I am again trying to understand their concept and trust me, it's not easy or short and I don't even know if it's right which makes me even more frustrated... also, we may have lost some important pieces to connect the whole story bc we don't know what was taken from the original MV with ot9, so yeah…

anyways... let me put a guide for you guys cause I'm not gonna write the title of the songs all the time, so AS = Astronaut; DK = Double Knot; MH = Miroh; SE = Side Effects; VS = Victory Song; YW = Yellow Wood (teaser); D9 = District 9; IAY = I Am You

Alright, let’s go back to the beginning! In I Am Not teaser we see that each one has a specific function inside the system or is doing sth very particular, Felix is dancing in front of mirrors on a rooftop (where they always are on their MVs) with a building nearby that shows a sign with FAKE on it – clearly indicating that either Felix is fake or their reality is fake, or maybe both; Changbin is in a room full of TVs like MIA; Seungmin is drawing sth that looks like a map (but I guess it was supposed to be sth else?) but he’s also the one in charge of the maps in Double Knot; we have Hyunjin trying to control a VR system, he looks quite frustrated with it, and after Hyunjin removes the headset, we hear a sound similar to when a program is being interrupted on tv and his image is frozen, probably bc he was disconnected from the main system.

and the most intriguing part: we have Jeongin in a bus – also sth reoccurring in their MVs – and he sees another Jeongin sitting on the bus stop, as if waiting for him. We all know by now that it’s a double, a clone, or whatever you may call it (like I mentioned previously on my Side Effects analysis that clearly shows they have ‘shadows’ like other selves copying their moves).

we don’t see what happens afterwards, but I’m gonna assume he finds out something is not right in the system and probably tells Chan (their leader) about it. Why I think this? Because in MIA they both sing the following lines: “Something is different, carefully look around you” (which is exactly what Chan does in D9) and “Something is changing, even if you hide it so hard, I can see it all” (which is what Jeongin does on the bus and also in Miroh, cause he’s the one in the control room, right?). But the thing is… I believe that the fake Jeongin is the one with SKZ in District 9. The double took his place after he got off the bus and is acting like Jeongin would, helping SKZ and all, but his line “better watch out” shows sth different, it seems somehow too menacing, almost like a threat – at least to me. So SKZ better watch out now cause there’s a fake among them, but SKZ is unaware

moving on.. it’s also in MIA that we see SKZ being duplicated – it looks like it can’t be helped. We know for sure that there’s a double for Chan, Woojin and Felix. In the MV it seems like Hyunjin also has a double that is watching himself from the other side of the door while the one inside the room says “Why are you staring at me again?” and then we see a surveillance camera (they’re onto Hyunjin, but Hyunjin seems to notice it).

this may seem dumb, but Changbin is duplicated in Get Cool (and like I said, any evidence is evidence lol). I don’t remember seeing Jisung, Seungmin and Minho being duplicated in any MV, and isn’t it weird that they’re the ones we see on the cage in AS?

in My Pace we have seven numbers shown behind them when they’re dancing: 137, 163, 191, 223, 241, 271 and 307. I thought they wouldn’t put this randomly so I searched what these number might mean and I found that they’re prime numbers (as you know, prime numbers can only be divided by themselves), and that prime numbers are very useful for creating keys to decrypt data by hackers. So I thought… what if Jeongin and Chan were trying to decrypt the system in order to mess with it but they need a key and Hyunjin was the key? And after DK happened, they managed to create glitches even more powerful than before? (like I explained in my theory).

anyways… moving on to Astronaut. ASTRONAUT = a person who is trained to travel in a spacecraft. But what if in SKZ concept an Astronaut is someone trained to travel their realities? And as we can see in I Am Not, Hyunjin is the one being trained in the VR apparatus.

also, he’s the one with an airplane behind him in Victory Song (and by now I think every little thing in these MVs are clues, sorry)

so what I take from this is that Hyunjin is like the tester of the realities they’ll have to face in order to escape District 9, like he is on a trial mode, if that makes any sense…

in the Astronaut MV, as we all noticed, we have some references from past MVs such as I Am You (the spinning thing); Victory Song (the red flares Chan & Jeongin are holding); Miroh (the boxes); Side Effects (the cart) and Chronosaurus (the plastics)

it’s interesting that Jeongin and Chan are the ones together when the music begins and I think this might mean sth because they’re always referenced as one, like in IAY; and Chan in AS is probably talking to MH’s Jeongin, because if they know what’s happening in the system, they might be able to keep in touch with each other even from different realities – but this is just me speculating too much!

in the MV we see 3 orbs: the 1st one is blueish with a green center; the 2nd is dark blueish/purple with a yellow center, and the last one is transparent with a black center.

so I googled those orb colors and found out that the first one may signify communication, neutrality, healing – might be applied to a master/guide; the second one may signify caution, insight, notice; while the last one may signify insecurity, being trapped or tortured. I don’t know if this makes sense, but I put it in here bc I strongly believe that these orbs represent Chan, Hyunjin and Jeongin, since they’re the ones that seem to be the focus of this storyline (and the color scheme of the scenes the orbs appear reminded me of IAY, 19 and SE)

going back to the AS MV, we also see Felix glitching like he did in MH and I was able to see in the background glasses being smashed, lightening, buildings, a road and a bridge, storm, moon, etc., and these are all elements that are present in their MVs, like showing what they already faced so far.

the cage scene made me think of District 9. When we first see it, Jeongin is the only one inside, but then we also see Han, Minho, Seungmin with him – and they’re slightly glitching, btw.

some other things happen to Hyunjin, he keeps on running, and now he’s outside on a dark road with a storm coming up – which reminded me of SE a lot, especially because of the two moons -, but he seems quite peaceful facing all those terrifying elements

he runs towards the end of the road that he can’t even see what’s waiting for him there – but maybe it’s because he already knows what happens next.

Hyunjin finds Chan in front of a door (maybe the exit?) and they all go through – to me it looks like Felix is the one about to close it, like he did with the gate in D9. Chan then shoots sth towards the sky like he did in VS (which caused a storm), but here it only makes a beam of light appear for them – as if they’re asking to go up? Like ‘beam me up Scotty’? you guys know this Star Trek reference, right? lol

and now we see the sky, but we don’t have two moons… I know it’s probably bc it’s morning, but in SE it was also morning and we saw two moons, so I’m assuming Hyunjin was able to find the finish line of the VR simulation (because I’m assuming that everything with the two moons is actually the VR)

at the end, we see Jeongin walking to the spinning thing like a glitch – like Chan also did when he went to the door, as if teleporting from here to there – and he’s alone, probably left behind. But why would SKZ leave him behind? Probably because they didn’t know he was there...

alright, so what does it all mean? I’m gonna try my best to comment everything and try to link the MVs with the lyrics to create a somewhat decent storyline.

on the released picture of the AS track list, this is what is written (it’s a rough translation, so I’m sorry if it’s wrong): “when we were happy together, we could do anything, where we chatted and laughed carelessly until dawn. Suddenly, I saw a bead… what is it? As soon as I got close, I heard a strange sound. At the end of the sound was a faint mixture of familiar voices calling my name. Without thinking, I started getting drawn by the sound”

To me, the first part means the I Am You setting. They were all happy after being free, they created their own world where they could do anything as long as they were together. In AS we see Hyunjin in this same environment and that’s also when the first orb appears. Hyunjin is attracted by the orb that could possibly be SKZ’s way to communicate with him inside the VR. Because remember, Hyunjin is there but what he’s seeing and experiencing is not real. He’s testing the ways out for SKZ. But he was so happy in that reality that he lost himself, he didn’t know what he was supposed to do anymore. And SKZ sent something to guide him out of this fake environment as we see in AS. He then started his journey back to where the real SKZ are, going through all the tokens from the realities he’s been through (like the boxes with the confusing mazes, but that are easily destroyed bc is not real; the cart from SE, the gate from D9, etc…). What also gives him hints is how the members start to act after he begins his running in AS. After he destroys the boxes, Felix is standing there like a heroic figure, glitching with Changbin, looking almost unapproachable or as if he can’t see him. we see Chan on the floor, so Chan is probably grounded like Hyunjin.

then he sees his friends trapped inside a cage. But the thing is that this cage is really ridiculous, any of them could climb or help the other to get out of there, so I think they’re trapped bc they’re not real, it’s all a simulation, – except for Jeongin, but I’ll get to this point later on, hold on!! – and this cage represents D9.

Hyunjin runs endlessly until he reaches the road I mentioned already, and he finds Chan, they all go through the door (how could they if four of them were trapped? unless nothing of that is real) and they are all dressed in white, like when they escaped D9, dancing happily on the rooftop.

to me, after Jeongin got off the bus he realized the system’s plan and told Chan (their leader), and they came up with ideas to escape, but they needed someone that could control the reality, and Hyunjin was being trained for it – although he was frustrated with it - so they asked him to go unlocking worlds (or roads, or whatever) and he did it, but as farther he went, he started getting lost in the system bc he didn’t know who he was anymore, was he a clone already? What he’s seeing is reality or virtual reality? What’s the truth, what’s the answer?

Chan and Jeongin were able to guide Hyunjin throughout the MVs to continue with their plan, but Hyunjin’s mind was starting to lose itself, although he had a feeling that something seemed off… And Astronaut is nothing more than a recap of all what they’ve been through and Hyunjin’s journey to the unknown in order to find SKZ again and help them escape.

so what about that last scene with Jeongin? Well, I think the Jeongin in white clothes with them at the end is not the real Jeongin, and the Jeongin we see sitting alone is in fact the real one that is trapped inside the VR. Chan was guiding Hyunjin but lost Jeongin in the meantime and didn’t realize it or Chan knows it and is also a clone anything is possible, because to me the Jeongin we see in their MVs isn’t the real Jeongin since D9, like I said in the beginning of this analysis. Maybe the reason Seungmin and Minho were found on DK by the drone is bc Jeongin was with them and he’s part of the system? The others weren’t seen except for these three. I also believe this hypothesis because the gate in AS represents D9 and Jeongin is the only one moving after Hyunjin leaves, probably showing that the real one was lost in D9, but since there can’t be two “Jeongins” in a same place, he needs to wait for them to realize that they’re dealing with a fake one and come back for him.

alright, to summarize this huge analysis...

EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED DIDN’T HAPPEN!! HYUNJIN WAS DECRYPTING AND TESTING THE REALITIES (IN THE VR THING) THEY HAVE TO FACE IN ORDER TO ESCAPE AND OVERTHROW THE SYSTEM AND NOW THAT HE’S FINISHED THE TRIALS HE’S BACK TO DISTRICT 9 AND CAN SHOW SKZ THE RIGHT PATHS TO FOLLOW BUT HE DIDN’T REALISE THAT THE REAL JEONGIN IS TRAPPED INSIDE THE VR AND HE LEFT HIM BEHIND AND NOW SKZ WILL HAVE TO GO BACK TO GET HIM OUT OMGGG I CANT ANYMORE

how else would we explain Hyunjin, Jeongin and Chan’s hairstyle looking almost the same as the one they had in D9?

some other thoughts I had: what if they’re duplicating themselves to leave the clones on the system so the real ones can escape?

ASTRONAUT also has 9 letters... this might mean something?

why is Chan singing all the time “I’m not me” in the background of Mirror? can he be trusted? I’m still not sure about Chan’s role in all of this bc he seems shady like Jeongin lol sorry Chan

from the Victory Song unveil track we have Chan saying this “we are Stray Kids, the owners of Clé. Roll the dice. Our beginning is District 9. We break the frame, escape from the system, and go beyond the fixed line towards STAY. We came to listen to Victory Song. So ring the 승전가”. Isn’t it weird that he says “break, escape, go” instead of “broke, escaped, went” ?? he only says “we came” bc the question is about their entrance in Miroh and Victory Song is after it, but if everything else also happens after D9, shouldn’t the other verbs be on the past tense too?

in Chronosaurus we see someone picking up three keys from the floor and I’m pretty sure it’s Jeongin.

one key for each – Chan, Hyunjin and him. But what can they do with the keys? I thought that maybe they could go spread themselves through the realities these keys unlock and place signs for them so they don’t get lost or forget about what they’re doing, like easter eggs? there are some black balloons on SE that reminded me of 19

in TMT there’s a billboard that Chan sees saying “do what you wanna do” (a message he left for himself there? and look at the background, it’s the space)

and what about Hyunjin? I’m not sure, but maybe the scene where we see him laying on the grass at the end of SE is actually because he just arrived in that reality and lost the key of that reality on that weird pond??? is the easter egg in SE himself??? I still think it’s weird the way Jeongin looks at him and smiles brightly in this scene lol

this is just what I was able to put together, but I still have a lot of questions and a lot of concerns, but unless Chan spills the tea I don’t care if it’s hot we’ll stay clueless about all of this lol

and he says we’re not clowns… right…

#stray kids #skz #stray kids theories #astronaut #stray kids astronaut #skz astronaut #stray kids comeback #skz comeback #bang chan #lee know #changbin #hyunjin #han jisung #felix #seungmin #jeongin #stray kids reactions

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theuntamedproject · 4 years

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"If the face says nothing, listen to the heartbeat" - Lan WangJi, Mo Dao Zu Shi (Weeks 3+4)

https://zhtheuntamedprojec.wixsite.com/theuntamedproject

... those who have read the novel know the real context of this line in the scene BUT taken out of context and used in a completely different (*cough* our) scenario..."If the face says nothing," translates to "Even if we seem calm on the outside,""listen to the heartbeat." translates to "we're so stressed to the point of ventricular fibrillation." (dunno if that's even a likely story but the overly exaggerated point still stands: we just handed our uni applications in and we're dreading admission tests and awaiting interviews...)

Quick overview

So aside from school work and university prep, TUP has taken up whatever spare moment either one of us has. However since Zara's Physics coursework began (good luck Zara!!) and both of us prepping for our respective admissions tests, we've decided instead of marching onwards with research on architecture and other food science related stuff, to settle on more relaxed Google seshes on MDZS (and totally not using this as an excuse to read the source text again) and beginning to design the buildings on CAD and paper.

So I'm going to introduce to you the barebones framework of what we plan to include in the design: characters, buildings and effects~ apologies in advance for not including the accents/tones in names (I cba tbh ;-; )

Characters

Because all these little dudes are just going to be cut out gingerbread men, we could include as many characters as possible (we did say we're making a universe are we not?). Those in italics are "maybe" characters depending on the dough remaining (or whether we like them to be part of the universe or not...) or how much gingerbread we're willing to eat ourselves (though huge shout out to everyone thats offered to eat our spare and broken gingerbread during materials testing - which I will get to a bit later :3)

Gusu Lan (the pretty sect)

Lan XiChen / Lan Huan (Sect Leader - simped so hard for his sworn brothers that both of them ended up dead)

Lan WangJi / Lan Zhan (repressed gay but we love him still)

Lan Yuan / Lan Sizhui (he's part of the Lan sect now goddamnit)

Lan JingYi (the most unLan Lan yet has the highest chance of being the next sect leader lmaoo)

Lan QiRen

Lan Yi / Lan An

QingHeng-Jun (Twin Jades' father)

Madam Lan (Twin Jades' mother)

Yunmeng Jiang (arguably the only "normal" sect here...)

Jiang Cheng / Jiang Wanyin (Sect Leader also an "angry grape" as put by Zara)

Jiang YanLi (OUR QUEEN)

Jiang FengMian (loved Wei Ying more than Jiang Cheng lol jk xd)

Yu ZiYuan (BAMF)

Wei Ying not included here since technically he defected from the Sect (; - ;)

Qinghe Nie (fans and sabers my bros)

Nie HuaiSang (Sect Leader - yeah, I can't believe it either)

Nie MingJue (noooooooooo)

Honestly, I swear this clan is either "big muscles or big brain?". If you have neither, you can't be part of their clique. I mean sect.

Lanling Jin (rich rich rich rich rich)

Jin Ling / Jin RuLan (Sect Leader - totally not named after Wei Ying's crush/ husband's family)

Jin GuangYao / Meng Yao (*smiles*)

Jin ZiXuan (peacock but JYL's husband nonetheless)

Jin GuangShan (gross)

Jin ZiXun (double gross)

Mo XuanYu (literally did not sign up to any of this. He just wanted to end his suffering at Mo Manor)

We decided against including everyone from Mo Manor since they literally died within the first few chapters of the novel / first episode of the drama so were kinda irrelevant. Also, we don't care about them like we care for the Lan Sect members either.

Off topic side rant, Zara has been on my case whenever I bring up Jin GuangYao. I have to say, he's way more lovable in the drama than in the novel (didn't really leave much of an impression on me in the novel, NHS did a better job at that). I'm here to briefly explain why this boy is misunderstood and deserved more than what he got (and also why you should love him because he deserves love).JGY is a poor soul who's goal in life was to please others because no one was ever satisfied with him. His mother wasn't satisfied. His father wasn't satisfied. Hell, even his sworn brother NMJ wasn't satisfied with him eventually. BUT GUESS WHAT Xichen the angel is the only person that showed any love or thanks to JGY that's why he didn't kill him in the end - he wouldn't kill people that actually cared about him. IF ONLY EVERYONE ACTUALLY PAID ATTENTION TO HOW CLEVER AND CUNNING THIS MAN WAS, THERE MAY NOT EVEN BE WENS THREATENING THE WORLD. end of brief rant.

Qishan Wen (too hot, hot damn)

Wen RuoHan (Sect Leader - could have taken over the world if his children weren't incompetent)

Wen Qing (half the reason why included this sect)

Wen Ning / Wen QiongLin (the other half of the reason)

Wen Yuan (WE NEED THIS BABIE ALONGSIDE SIZHUI OK)

Wen Chao (questionable)

Wen ZhuLiu (also questionable but less annoying than Wen Chao)

Rogue cultivators (including people we didn't really know where to put)

Wei WuXian / Wei Ying (Can work out how to cultivate resentful energy, fight against the biggest cultivation clans in the world and gain a formidable reputation as the Yiling Patriarch yet can't figure out that Lan Zhan has a crush on him. Makes it look like cultivating resentful energy is easy as pie.)

CangSe SanRen (Wei Ying's mother)

Wei ChangZe (Wei Ying's father)

Xiao XingChen (honestly, the nicest guy ever. Could rival Xichen in terms of kindness. But then again... where did that kindness lead either of them? Moral of story: screw kindness)

Song Lan (Wen Ning's dead buddy~)

Xue Yang (he was cool in the novel, a bit questionable in the drama ngl)

A-Qing (didn't report her situation to the police...)

Baoshan Sanren (without knowledge of her existence, Jiang Cheng may have given up on life after he lost his golden core)

Ouyang ZiZhen (I didn't know who he was at all from the novel (ie he left no impression) but since he's technically part of the juniors, we have to include him)

Wang Ling Jiao / Jiao Jiao (just so Wen Chao has a friend perhaps... I don't know if we're that kind)

Su She (ew. just. He's not our favourite. The whole thing could have gone smoother if he didn't exist)

Luo Qingyang / Mian Mian (that one girl that made Wei Ying think Lan Zhan was straight)

Whew! That's all the character's we've considered! We have yet to come up with individual designs for the clothes and what not but at least we know there are going to be straight up cutting them out using the gingerbread man cutters.

Also! let's not forget:

Li'l Apple (didn't sign up for any of this either)

Fairy (gift from JGY to JL, also good doggo)

All the bunnies in Gusu (yes.)

All the fans and sabers in Qinghe (it's part of their aesthetic)

Locations and Buildings

This section's going to be MUCH shorter than the previous one haha since we've basically come up with 5 main buildings and in 7 locations. We're planning these buildings to be architectural masterpieces (okay, that's a slight exaggeration but that's the point). These buildings will take SIGNIFICANTLY more time than the gingerbread characters and is the reason we've put so much effort into researching what would make the most stable type of building. This is because we've planned to mirror the buildings as close as possible to the drama. We haven't yet drawn 2D sketches as I've left that job mostly to Zara (sorry!) so it's sort of hard to describe in words but by next post, we hope to have these down~ (though please see the mood boards from Zara's post previously)~

Gusu Lan - Cloud Recesses

The Wall of Discipline

The Courtyard

The Orchid Room (the main classroom/hall)

Yunmeng Jiang - Lotus Pier

The Main Pier

Lotus Pod Lake

Qinghe Nie - The Unclean Realm

The Main Courtyard and stairs

Lanling Jin - Koi Tower

Koi Tower

Qishan Wen - Nightless City

Main building and stairs

Yiling - Burial Grounds

The Mountains (and farms/Wen settlements)

Demon-Slaughtering Cave

And of course, Yi City.

We don't know if we want to include any more places but we'll let you know if there are any changes to this list. Plus the effects of LEDs and other arts and craft jazz besides gingerbread, we plan to make sure each Sect get's their own spotlight~

Please enjoy our baby Cloud Recesses, they're going to grow up and be a fine specimen of society worthy of the Lan name :D

The plan going forward

Although unfortunately, things haven't gone totally to plan due to fairly busy circumstances, we still have some major events along the way before starting to build the whole thing (which would probably be around mid-to-end of December) which have indeed started preparing for. Including:

Material testing gingerbread and icing (ie finally, bringing our research to the real world) - a lot of gingerbread will be made, so thank you to the willing volunteers who wanted to eat our failed experiments!

Finding / creating a suitable recipe for the gingerbread people

2D and 3D sketches of the buildings

Designing costumes for the gingerbread people

Another thing that we kinda want to do is to make this project benefit the wider community (we wanted to set up a GoFundMe at some point and raise some money for charity~). But we don't know how to do that as of yet T-T . Any ideas, feel free to contact us and let us know! We want to help others through this project (if at all possible haha)!

#mdzs #update #characters #gingerbread #gusulan #yunmengjiang #qinghenie #lanlingjin #qishanwen #weiying #lanzhan

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quiet-onset · 5 years

Text

No One

Pairing: Winter Soldier!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 3,810

TW: solitude?? Brainwashing, violence, and google translated Russian lol

A/N: I wrote half of this in my constitutional history class instead of paying attention lol. I still got an A on the midterm though, so who’s the real winner here? I hope y’all like it!

The dark is comforting in a way.

You were taken from the light and put into darkness against your will. You were scared then, terrified. The feeling bubbled up in your throat as the doors were closed, and the darkness swallowed you. You remember banging on the doors, calling out for help with no answer. In the beginning, the men would slam the door open, hitting and beating you until you quieted down. Later on, they’d just let you scream until you tired yourself out.

You knew better now.

You embraced the darkness for the better part of five years — it was your home. You only saw the light a handful of times since being forced into the darkness. It was never very eventful; you’d much rather be left alone in the dark. But the last time, unbeknownst to you, something changed.

It had been maybe two years since the last time anyone besides your guards had seen you. You were somewhat of a legend there, you noticed. When they saw you from the practice room, your wrists and ankles bound together with a heavy dust-red metal chain, they began to whisper among themselves.

A pair of steel blue eyes followed you from one end of the hallway to the other. He studied you, the worn out clothing, the way you walked with your eyes closed, relying on the guards to tug your chains in the right direction. You were completely docile, beaten into submission. You were the only person in Hydra more mysterious than him.

He realized he was staring when the recruits’ whispering turned into outright conversation. He felt the eyes of his overseers on him as he turned back to the recruits. “Внимание!”

He watched as they jumped, fearfully returning their attention to him. When his cold eyes looked back up, he was met with Y/E/C eyes, curious and calculating. He blinked hard, a strange feeling overcoming him. The look in your eyes was familiar. It reminded him of himself. All those years ago, when Hydra had finally succeeded in installing the Winter Soldier. Your eyes had the same look that he did just before it happened.

The moment ended as soon as it began when the guards tugged roughly on the chains.

When you were returned back to your cell, you went back to the darkness. Much more comfortable there, you sat on your mattress and brought your knees to your chest, simply reviewing your surroundings. There were the toilet and the sink in the back corner, your empty cup sitting on the edge. The small hole in the wall where they’d slide your food in every so often. The mattress against the wall, with the thin, useless blanket thrown on top of it. It was quiet and familiar.

Then, you heard a scrape against the floor.

Your head snapped up as you watched a small sheet of paper slide under the door. You looked at the door with narrowed eyes as if the steel could feel your suspicion. You jumped a bit when a pencil followed, rolling against the stone floor. You crawled over and placed your ear to the ground as you watched a pair of boot-covered feet step away from your door.

You knew better than to reach for it. You knew it had to be a game, a trick to throw you off. But your body worked against you, and your hand snatched up the paper. You slowly unfolded it, reading the simple words scrawled in Russian.

кто ты? Who are you?

Your lips pursed and your brow furrowed as you grunted in annoyance. Your guards knew who you were. Why ask pointless questions? You scribbled your response and roughly pushed the paper and pencil back under the door.

Уходи. Go away.

You turned to return to your mattress, but there was that sound again: paper against concrete. Your head turned slowly to find the same paper on the floor. The pencil rolled back under, only stopping when it hit your toe. You picked up the paper and read it, seeing nothing new. Just the same words, underlined.

кто ты? Who are you?

You sighed as you ran your tongue over your bottom lip. Perhaps you were stupid for playing into this game, but you couldn’t help it. Human contact is a necessity for survival, and you certainly weren’t getting enough of it. You hesitantly picked up the pencil, scribbling your response and pushing it lightly under the door.

The same steel blue eyes you’d met earlier read your response with a crease in his forehead.

я никто. I am no one.

His ears perked up as he heard footsteps approaching from the opposing hallway. He knew better than to be there. If he got caught there, he would be punished severely. He doesn’t even dare to imagine what they’d do if they found out he was communicating with you. It was against everything Hydra had drilled into his head. Yet, the look in your eyes seemed to pierce through all of that programming. So he stood there, holding his breath until whoever it was passed the hallway and the footsteps faded. Letting the breath out, he snatched the pencil off the ground and wrote his next question.

On the other side, you picked up the note.

Все это кто-то. Everyone is someone.

You scoffed at the words on the paper. It seemed too idealistic, the thought of you having an identity. You knew you had one at some point, but whoever you were disappeared five years ago when you were thrown into the darkness. The ever-inviting yet petrifying darkness.

When the note was slid back under the door, he heard your footsteps pad away from it. It was clear that whatever conservation you were having was over. He didn’t know whether to be relieved or upset when he swiped up the paper and pencil and began walking down the hall. He unfolded the note and read your message.

Не я. Уже нет. Я никто. Not me. Not anymore. I am no one.

—

Two weeks had passed before you received another note.

You were laying on your mattress, staring at the ceiling. Relaxing was easier that way. You could lose yourself in the darkness. Forget all your feelings of dread and regret, of fear and suffering, and just be. Part of you could barely remember the appeal of the light. Then, the familiar scraping sound perked up your ears.

You sat up and looked around as if anyone could see you engage in this unpermitted communication. Then, you quickly walked over and picked up the note.

Почему они хотят тебя? Why do they want you?

Finally, a question you could answer. You’d spent so much time in that dark and dank room that you’d forgotten who you were. (Or maybe you chose to forget.) The one thing you did know was the reason Hydra kept you locked in that room. They never let you forget; it was the only reason you saw light every now and then when they’d take you from the room.

On the other side of the door, the Soldier stood with his arms crossed, impatiently waiting for an answer. He’d waited two weeks to return, opting to figure out your guards’ schedules before making the trek back down to your cell. He had a million questions but was afraid to ask them. In his experience, questions equaled punishment.

The note was slid out with force, causing him to look down when it hit his shoe. He bent over to pick it up and read it eagerly.

У меня есть силы. Они хотят использовать их. I have powers. They want to use them.

His brow furrowed as he considered your answer. He thought Hydra was done with powered people. They’d created him, their perfect super soldier, and had a few more in the making. What other powers could they need?

When the note slid back under, you had moved to sit against the wall. You found yourself waiting in anticipation for a response. It was the first time someone had spoken to you like a person and allowed you to respond. You were careful not to let that anticipation turn into happiness. There was no room for happiness there.

Какие полномочия? What kind of powers?

You felt your defenses fly up at the question. You suddenly rethought your choice to trust this person, whoever they were. Everyone you’d met in that godforsaken place wanted to use you, so what made this person any different. Instead of answering him, you wrote a response of your own before roughly sliding it back out.

Кто ты? Who are you?

He picked up the pencil and began to write his response when something told him to stop. He wasn’t sure what it was, but it was strong enough to make him reconsider his answer. The Soldier didn’t know how long he had existed, but he just then realized that he was not always the Winter Soldier.

Зимний сол Я не знаю. The Winter Sol I don’t know.

Your head tilted at the answer, confused as to how he didn’t know who he was. You knew who you were deep down inside, but you were just too afraid to say it. If you did, Hydra would just try to beat it out of once more. You chose to forget, to have no identity, to avoid that. But this person? This person didn’t know, and that caused the small bit of empathy you had left to swell.

You wrote a response and slid it back under.

Может быть, вы никто. Мы не можем быть ни с кем вместе. Maybe you are no one. We can be no one together.

When the Soldier’s eyes scanned over your response, he felt a strange feeling in his chest. He wasn’t sure what it was. It was different from the usual beating of his heart, which was beating just a tad faster. He felt heat creep up his neck as his hair fell into his eyes. He didn’t know if there was a word for the feeling, but he liked it. He liked the feeling and wanted, needed to feel it again.

When the paper slid back under, you felt the corner of your lip twitch like you wanted to smile, but couldn’t.

Я полагаю, мы можем. I suppose we can.

The notes continued for the next few months. He was careful to avoid your guards, listening for them and keeping track of any changes to their schedules. Eventually, after an incident when the tip of the pencil broke, he brought two pens; one for him and one for you to keep. You hid it under your pillow at night, brushing over it to remind yourself that someone remembered you.

You hadn’t learned much about each other’s past. In your case, they were memories that made you sad and angry. Memories that you’d rather not relive. In his case, they were memories that were buried under a ton of Hydra programming. Memories that were there, but just out of his reach. He would tell you when he could remember little bits and pieces of who he was trying to crawl his way back into his brain. Still, you built a foundation of trust, of friendship even.

Sometimes, you even wondered if it was more than that.

Sure, love seemed inconceivable for you both, but you couldn’t deny the feeling. The anticipation of his visits. The way you grasped the pen tight in your fist when the darkness suddenly seemed a bit too dark. The way your heart jumped when he knocked four times, the code to let you know it was him. There was no other way to explain it.

You decided to ask him once if he could love. His brow had furrowed at the question as he had never thought about the possibility of love. Love wasn’t a part of his programming, yet the feeling in his stomach as he approached your cell with a pen and paper in hand said otherwise.

Я не знаю. Что чувствует любовь? I don’t know. What does love feel like?

You weren’t sure how to answer him. Putting your feelings into words was difficult, but you knew you had to. You had to tell him how you felt, even if he didn’t or couldn’t feel the same way. It was something you had to do for yourself.

The Soldier unfolded the note slowly, unsure of what to expect.

Когда ты все время думаешь о ком-то. И вы взволнованы или нервничаете, чтобы увидеть их снова. Когда вы чувствуете, что можете сказать кому-нибудь что-нибудь, потому что знаете, что он все еще будет там. Это любовь, я думаю. When you think of someone all the time. And you're excited or nervous to see them again. When you feel like you can tell someone anything because you know they'll still be there. That's love, I think.

Suddenly, he felt a shock rush through his mind, a feeling he was beginning to become accustomed to. Something had broken through his programming. He gasped at the short pain before leaning his head on the concrete wall behind him. He took a deep breath and blinked hard, caught off guard by your response. You had described the feeling in his chest down to a tee.

You, on the other side of the door, finally let out a breath when he slid the note back under.

Если это так, то да. Я могу любить. Я люблю. If that's what it is, yes. I can love. I do love.

—

A year later, the notes were coming less frequently. He had assured you it was because Hydra had him on longer and more frequent missions. So you were surprised by his last visit. You’d heard his footsteps, loud and heavy, as he practically ran down the hall. You were worried it was a guard coming to take you, but he knocked four times. You grabbed your pen and sat by the door as he slid his note underneath.

На мосту был человек. Я узнал его. There was a man on the bridge. I recognized him.

Your eyes widened as you wrote your response and slid it under the door.

Вы узнали его откуда? You recognized him from where?

As he wrote his response frantically, he knew his handwriting was becoming messier. He knew he might’ve spelled something wrong, or it might not have made sense. But he was running out of time, and he had to tell you before they found him.

Из моих воспоминаний. Я помню. Он во всех них. From my memories. I remember. He’s in all of them.

You hesitated when you picked up your pen. What did that mean for you? If he remembered, then you were back to being alone. You were back to being no one all by yourself. After knowing how it feels to be with someone, even if you’re not really with them, you didn’t know if you could handle being alone again. He’d brought a sliver of light into your darkness, and you cherished it.

Так кто ты такой? So who are you?

Just as he hesitantly picked up his pen, you heard them. They were coming down the hallway, and there was a lot of them. You knocked against the door, trying to alert him, but the blood was pounding so loud in his ears, he barely registered the noise. Then, there they were. Coming down the hall with powered handcuffs and heavy duty tasers of the highest degree.

“So this is where you’ve been, Soldat.”

Karpov. His voice made you cringe, recognizing him as the man who’d been poking and prodding at you for years on end as he tried to discover the extent of your powers. He shouted for his men to detain the Soldier and stood back as they followed through.

He tried to fight them off, but with the tasers, it seemed impossible. You flinched and covered your ears as you heard him shout in pain. The smell of burning flesh started to seep under the door, tears welling up in your eyes. You could hear him continuing to grunt as he weakly fought back, now with the powered cuffs secured on his wrists.

Suddenly, light flooded your eyes as the door was thrown open. You scurried back and attempted to shield your eyes, but two men simply grabbed your arms and hauled you to your feet. Your eyes landed on the Soldier, on his knees and at the mercy of Karpov. Still, he grunted and attempted to lunge at the men holding you.

“Leave her alone.” He growled.

Karpov tased him, making him groan in pain, and leaned down as he tugged on the Soldier’s long hair. “You’re not in the place to be giving orders, are you?”

The two of you were dragged from the cell through a maze of hallways. You didn’t recognize the room you’d arrived in, but the Soldier seemed to. He began to fight back with more strength without success. Even as he was strapped to a chair with a strange contraption hanging over his head, he attempted to break the restraints.

“Calm down, Soldat. This isn’t for you. At least not yet.” Karpov started, making you flinch once more at his voice. He walked up to you, and you shied away from his touch but didn’t dare to move. The Soldier tensed as Karpov raised his hand to your cheek, just barely grazing over your skin. Your heart was beating in your ears, but it wasn’t loud enough to keep you from hearing what Karpov said next. “Put her in that chair.”

Suddenly, the Soldier started wildly fighting his restraints and the tasers pressed into his ribs, shouting for him to leave you alone. He screamed at the top of his lungs as he tried everything he could think of to make them stop.

“I’ll kill you all!”

“Don’t you dare touch her!”

“Just take me and leave her, please!”

But none of it worked. He was forced to sit and watch as they reprogrammed you, just like they did to him. Your screams were muffled by the mouthpiece, and you were only allowed a second to breathe between each shock as they read what would soon become your trigger words. “Synonym, highlight, courtyard, nickel, potent, insipid, twenty-three, erosion, eight,” Karpov paused, sending a smirk to the man still bound to his chair. “Soldat.”

Then, he saw it. That look that was far too familiar. The blank look in your eyes that was just waiting for a command. They had finally broken you. Karpov spoke once more, his lips close to your ear. “Your new name is Creator. Understood?”

“Understood.” It was the first time the Soldier had heard your voice.

“Back to your cell, Creator.”

Everyone watched as you walked out of the room and back to your cell with no coercion or force from anyone. The Soldier felt a new feeling in his chest, a feeling he was desperate to get rid of. He wanted to reach into his sternum and pull out his heart if only to make the pain stop.

His wish was granted within a few seconds because Karpov wiped him next. Everything was back to square one.

However, it wouldn’t be long until the Soldier remembered everything. He was fighting his target, Captain America, on the roof of some building when the hero said something that cut through his programming like a knife. “I’m with you ‘til the end of the line.”

Just like that, he was no longer the Soldier. He was James Buchanan Barnes, affectionately known as Bucky. He was Steve Rogers’ best friend. He was an older brother, a member of the Howling Commandos, and he remembered you.

A year or so had passed when Bucky walked back into that secret Hydra base with Steve on his right, Natasha on his left, and Sam scouting the outside. Shuri had invented some new tech that would erase the programming from your mind in mere moments. After hearing his story about you, she realized it was part of the guilt he had been carrying around since it happened and immediately got to work.

“What do I do when I find her, Shuri?” Bucky asked nervously, speaking into the comms.

“Just place the device on her temple, and I will do the rest.” She replied as she looked at the schematics of the building. “I’ve got you, White Wolf, don’t you worry. By the way, someone tripped the silent alarm so expect a fight.”

“Guys.” Bucky hissed.

“It wasn’t me,” Steve said defensively. “Had to have been Nat.”

“Yes, the trained assassin and spy obviously tripped the silent alarm.” She replied sarcastically.

“Can you guys just get in and out, please? Damn.” Sam interrupted the two. “Y’all give me a headache.”

The resistance was heavier than expected but nothing the team couldn’t handle. Bucky left Steve and Nat to hold the line as he fought his way through to your containment cell. When he saw you, it was like nothing changed, yet everything was different. Your eyes still had the same blank look as you stared at him. “You are an enemy now, Soldat.” He watched your eye twitch as you said the word.

“I won’t be for long.” He said. “Just trust me.”

“Who are you for me to trust?”

“I’m no one. And so are you.” He looked down at you with wide, careful eyes as he attached the device to your temple. “Now, Shuri.”

“On it.” She replied.

He watched as your eyes shut tight. You threw your head to one side then the other, grunting at the intrusion in your brain. He could see your eyes moving rapidly under your eyelids as you struggled to keep up with whatever Shuri was doing. “Shuri?”

“Almost done.”

Seconds later, you stopped moving. Your head fell forward, and your body went limp. Bucky rushed up to you, kneeling in front of your chair. After he removed your restraints, with his hands protectively resting on your thighs, he looked up as you started to gain consciousness once more. “Hey,” Bucky said softly, moving one hand to cup your cheek. “Hey. Do you know who you are?”

Your brow creased as you looked back down at him with a confused look on your face. He held his breath as your lips parted to answer. “I’m… I am no one.”

Bucky let out a breath of relieved laughter, as he saw your smile for the first time, “Yeah. Yeah, me too.”

“I’d rather you call me Y/N, though.”

“Y/N.” Your name was sweet as it rolled off his tongue. “What do you say we get out of here, yeah?”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #wintersoldier!bucky barnes x reader #wintersoldier!bucky x reader #marvel x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction

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loghorizonfunfacts · 5 years

Text

Some personal Akatsuki ramblings

I rarely talk about Akatsuki herself in length -- usually when I’ve spoken about her in the past, it was about her role in the story as it pertains to Shiroe. I have a draft for my character analysis of her that’s been rotting away in my drafts for like, 2 or 3 years now but I’ve never been able to finish it. (I know what’s to come in future volumes, but without an official translation, I’m hesitant to take my own Google Translated-interpretations at face value.)

Some of this will be quite personal, maybe a bit controversial as well, so I’m keeping the bulk of it under a read more. (Mobile users... sorry.)

One thing that has slightly bothered me over my past few years in the LH fandom is how often Akatsuki gets reduced to either “best girl” or “failure love interest who sees a middle school girl as a rival”. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with liking Akatsuki for her awkward quirkiness, or disliking her because her insecurities (and the character arc resulting from it) are rooted in a rather unrealistic character gimmick (somehow looks like an elementary schooler as a college student?). But I think it’s completely overlooking the root reason why Akatsuki is the way she is.

While I initially had a negative reaction to volume 6 when I first read it, after time (and an official translation), I’ve found myself intensely relating to Akatsuki’s situation. Though I’m not completely qualified to speak about this and would like some insight into the matter from people with more knowledge/experience in the subject, it seems to me that Akatsuki may in fact be autistic (or at the very least, neurodivergent in some form).

I speak from the perspective of a (maybe) neurotypical person (more about that later), so perhaps someone would disagree with me. However, I think Akatsuki’s awkwardness is rooted in something deeper than mere “she isn’t good at talking,” which is where most people find her relatable and then stop there.

In volume 6, she explicitly says that she’s never had friends her own age. When she gets grilled for her lack of communication, she bemoans the fact that she doesn’t know how to express her feelings and can’t just show people what she’s thinking. Even Shiroe points out in volume 5 that they have difficulty keeping conversations going, and after he asks her to provide a conversation topic when she protests this, she comes up short.

Akatsuki’s almost hyper-focus on the master-ninja roleplaying (which Shiroe also explicitly gets weirded out by, and cause other characters concern) seems in line with the “restricted interests and repetitive behaviors” often found in those with autism. Whenever Shiroe tries to gently suggest he’s not interested in his role in their assumed roleplay, she digs her heels in and he gives up -- perhaps an example of “trouble understanding another person’s point of view,” another trait common in those with autism.

So, what’s that all got to do with me? Well, simply put, I saw a lot of myself in Akatsuki. The difference between series I’m intensely interested in (special interest/hyperfixation?) and ones that I casually like are like day and night. For series that I’m truly into, my interest spans several years, and usually involves maintaining or aiding a wiki about it or otherwise having blogs devoted to analyzing it thoroughly. It ends up eating at my time and my attention to my own detriment, and as William later says in volume 7, I even think about it when I eat and when I shower. This line in particular hit home:

Akatsuki had been avoiding the things she really had to do. She’d worked desperately at only the things she liked doing, and had tried to convince herself that was effort.

Oftentimes, I know what I have to do. My homework, my job search, networking with people, building relationships. But if it doesn’t interest me, no matter how hard I push and pull at it, I end up going back to the things I like doing or thinking about. Sometimes, I don’t even like what I do, I just do it because it’s something I can do.

My lack of communication skills is also much like Akatsuki’s. It’s not a casual “lol what even is talking to people”; reading Akatsuki’s introspection and seeing things from her point-of-view felt like I was seeing things through my own perspective of the world.

I don’t know how to express myself and sometimes, I don’t even know if there’s something to express. I can be “my way or the highway” to the point where it’s driven people away. I can’t keep up a conversation and I’m perfectly content with not talking with others. I find small talk inane and people casually conversing with me (whether they’re strangers or friends) puts me on edge.

When Akatsuki struggles to express familiarity with the other girls, it takes Rayneshia declaring her a friend to give her the words to speak. Throughout high school, there were only a few people I can definitely say was a friend. Everyone else, I could never get a read on. Did they consider me a friend? Was I an annoyance, or was I just wallpaper in the backdrop of the school? I was rarely ever anyone’s “first pick” for anything and I usually stayed to myself as to not cause trouble for anyone; I learned in middle school not to stick myself into already-established friend groups.

In a lot of ways, Akatsuki probably felt the same about the Watermaple group. She was there on Shiroe’s orders, not because the other girls there liked her. So in her eyes, the greatest courtesy she can do is eliminate the threat on her own... which she fails to do.

What makes Akatsuki even more relatable is that she isn’t explicitly autistic; Mamare has never spoken about whether his characters are societal commentary (though personally, I think they are). The most he’s ever said about them is that he tries to make them like people he knows.

Maybe Mamare isn’t even (fully) aware that Akatsuki was written in this way. Perhaps he wrote her thinking “someone out there will relate to her.” And he’s right. In a way, not making her (possible) neurodivergence solidified canon is what makes her even more relatable to me.

As a result of my Chinese-American background, the sort of cultural perspective on neurodivergence I’ve been raised in is, to put it bluntly, “Well, tough.” If you don’t have a severe disability, that means you don’t have a disability, and you better damn well act like a normal person. (For some measure of “normal” that I have yet to figure out.)

Things like autism and developmental orders were treated as something for “others.” In fact, for most of my elementary through high school years (I lived in a predominantly white neighborhood), I genuinely thought autism and ADHD were a white people thing. To be fair, given some cursory research into the general view on autism in China and Japan, they probably think so too -- if they even know about such things at all.

A fair number of the general populace seem to be unaware of them; I’ve seen Japanese tweets spreading awareness about ADHD on twitter, and a JP twitter mutual had a mental breakdown as a result of their ADHD and anxiety making them unable to perform at work. It makes me wonder if Akatsuki exhibits autistic traits because Mamare knows people who act similarly (or perhaps, he can relate to them himself), but none of them actually know that there’s an actual underlying reason and it’s not a mere relatable personality quirk.

So in the end, I have absolutely no idea whether I’m normal or not. I can’t tell if I’m actually neurodivergent or if I’m faking it to make an excuse for myself. I’m Akatsuki as she watches Minori and Shiroe at the end of volume 5: feeling helpless, knowing that our juniors are “ahead” of us and “more successful.” We want to push our ineptitude on our inexperience and our sub-par equipment, but what we’re really lacking is interpersonal skills and, even though we know that’s what we’re missing, but we have no idea how to work on that.

#log horizon #akatsuki #lhff rants #get to know lhff

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dangerliesbeforeyou · 5 years

Text

dan made me do it

(lol jk, but like i have Feelings(tm) about my sexuality and everything & figure this is the best time and place to do it...)

So I figured out I was bisexual a little over 5 years ago, after discovering it was a legitimate thing I could call myself whilst being on tumblr (2014 was a big time for lgbt discourse, especially in terms of the various terms and labels, most of which I hadn’t been familiar with...)... but tbh, I’d been trying to come to terms with who I was in terms of my sexuality for a long time

I grew up in a religious house (my parents were jehovah’s witnesses), but I never really remember anything vaguely homophobic being thrown around? And even if it did exist, I wouldn’t have been aware of it since I never had any question or doubt in my mind about the fact I was attracted to boys (I’d had a rly intense crush on this one boy for about 5 years through primary and secondary school... I still sometimes see his pics on facebook & u know what? I still would lol anyway...) my early days in school were mostly taken up by trying to get friends not be a total recluse (I’ve always had trouble making friends and connecting to people it’s no biggie it’ ss fineee........ ok carry on>>)

So going into secondary school I never felt that I was anything other than straight? But one thing I vividly remember was the way people in my year treated girls that were suspected to be gay... in short? they were seen as ‘dirty’... it was something perverted, and highly sexualised... (as in: being a lesbian meant masturbating a lot... (i mean: this says something about wider misogyny & demonising of female pleasure but like.. another time, another time) & also making out loads with other girls)... like no one ever came up and said ‘being gay is wrong’, but whenever rumours spread about a girl being suspected as gay and they didn’t deny them, people would suddenly start whispering about them... & it’s super strange to me that this was the same culture that if two female friends were really close and got labelled as gay, but came out and were like ‘oh no we’re straight ha ha we just kiss at parties and touch each others boobs’ or whatever, people would be completely ok with it?

So I never really gave myself the opportunity to go into this... I was never comfortable enough to be super ‘close’ to any of my female friends (intimacy issues: we don’t have to to get into all THAT right now though lol ahahaha....ha...) & I knew I wasn’t so called ‘skanky’ like all the girls who were labelled as being actually gay...

& this was all happening as I found myself actually being interested in looking at girls... (like what can I say? boobs are friggin nice to look at lol...) But i always saw it as innocent intrigue, since I was only 11/12 at the time so hadn’t grown into my own at the time... and the fact I felt more comfortable being touched by or talking to or like literally doing anything with girls? it’s just cos boys are gross there’s no other reason behind it!!.... right?

I think a big thing is that a lot of girls are so open with each other... like they’ll compliment each other’s boobs or asses, or comment on how pretty they are or their makeup skills or whatever.. you’ll be hard pressed to find a girl that goes all ‘no homo’ on her friend except.... I feel like that was me lol? I remember getting compliments from other girls about my appearance (didn’t happen often though pffft) or anything really and feeling all mushy inside, and giving the compliments back felt like a big deal to me? idk I suppose all the warning signs were there that hidden under layers of introverted awkwardness was a lil bi demon just waiting to come out lol!

So yadyyada, 2014 happens and I finally realise I’m bi... I just remember reading something on here about bisexuality and being like ‘oh damn yeh... dat me??’... like it felt amazing to be able to finally accept that I actually like girls too?? & one of the first people I told was this guy I became friends with when I first went to college... & he told me he was also bi and I remember thinking ‘wow!!!!! so it’s actually real?! it’s not just something you see on tumblr from random strangers, it’s an actual thing people I know irl experience wowwowowow’... I also came out to another online friend who I was close to, and it felt really amazing... but I could never translate that into actually coming out in real life (not to mention life was kinda shit at this time and I had like 0 friends but hEY, that’s not for now kiddos lol)...

So yeh, I’ve never actually come out to anyone... not properly anyway... I’ve always been very open about my sexuality online, but in real life I’ve never really discussed it with ... anyone? & it’s not because I’m ashamed in anyway, and it’s not even as if I’m that scared I just... I’ve never felt the need to? But after seeing Dan’s video, plus it’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently, this is something I really wanna do... see; I was so ready to live life just being ‘straight until I maybe get a girlfriend one day’, so ready to only tell people if they ask me but I just realised... isn’t that partly living a lie? who I’m with doesn’t change my sexuality, so why is it something I’m seemingly so scared of declaring to the world??

I vividly have this memory, before I realised I was bi, and I have no idea of why or when or any of the details, but me and my mum were watching something, and bisexuality was mentioned, and either my mum agreed with, or she said something along the lines of ‘bisexuals are more likely to cheat’, and that’s really stuck with me.... it’s something that’s always nagging in the back of my mind, and it... really fucking hurts lol... I know for a fact my mum will love my regardless of who I end up sleeping with or whatever, she may be pretty conservative in her mindset of things but she’s always willing to be open minded which I really love about her... but knowing this inbuilt stereotype of bisexuality is something she both acknowledges and somewhat agrees with is really... sad...

I’m 21 years old, I’ve been in one relationship in my life which only last a few months and involved no kissing and only occasional hand holding because I was too terrified to do any more (again: subject for aNOTHER day lol), and I know for a goddamn FACT that my sexuality would never make me more likely to be unfaithful to someone I claim to love...I really hate that this is associated with the label, but it’s something I know that I am... why on earth would I change that or try to be something else when I know that /this/ is me!

I think one of the biggest things putting me off ‘coming out’ is having to explain yourself... like dan howell made a 45 minute long video discussing his own sexuality and experiences cos he knew people wouldn’t just accept it if he just tweeted ‘yo dawgs imma queer lol #swag’ one day, and it feels kinda annoying that queer people/lgbtq+ people feel like we can’t just...... be ourselves without having to justify or explain it?! (even me making this post is solidifying that factor lol... it’s a mess lol)... like I just wanna live my life being bi, is that so much to ask for lol?

I am so so SO grateful we have so much more bi, and lgbtq+ in general, representation in media these days.... it’s goddamn beautiful to see our stories, and the stories of our community being told and cherished by millions, and that’s really gotta be something to rejoice in this pride month!!!

(side note: dan also talks about gender identity & I have literally never related to anything more lol... like 90% of the time I don’t feel like what people classify as ‘womanly’ things... but also I am a woman? idk man lol just call me a formless blob or whatever it was he said lol as a baby no one really knew if I was a girl or boy since my mum mainly dressed me in yellow & I had like 2 strands of hairs on my head lol... damn I miss those days lol)

In conclusion (or tl;dr as I’ve seen the Cool people write on their long posts (yes I had to google what it meant shhhh)):

Hi, my name is Xanthe, my username is ‘dangerliesbeforeyou’ here on tumblr because I made it 7 years ago and I wanted to use a cool sounding harry potter quote so I could come across as sophisticated but also nerdy, I’m a 21 year old female (mostly?) and I am a proud Bisexual...

I’m also single and very ready to mingle if anyone is interested ;;;;;;;;;)

(that’s only half a joke lol... plz romance me I’m v lonely)

#personal #lgbtq #pride month #idk what to tag lol #thank u for giving me the confidence to do this daniel lol...#maybe i'll b able to come out to my family who knowsss

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molly2140 · 5 years

Text

Introducing Octavia Freeman 😎

Includes brief shit about my Half-Life universe.

Gordon has a twin sister, Octavia, she's approx. 4 hours younger than him if that matters haha. Their mother died during their birth (depressing as hell I know but I like the tragedy and dramatic shit), so their awesome father took it upon himself to raise his twin children the best he possibly can and give them a good life. Since Gordon can't speak, he, Octavia, and their father learned ASL in order for them all to communicate. Octavia acts as Gordon's voice and helps translate his signs for those who don't understand ASL. While growing up, Octavia becomes very defensive for Gordon, she hates when people make fun of him for not being able to speak. High school consisted of lots of fights and detentions for Octavia simply because she's defending her beloved twin. The two have a very unique bond, not only are they twins but they are best friends. Gordon has a really hard time opening up to other people, especially other girls, but he's always found it easy to confide in his sister, and Octavia is extremely supportive of him.

About a year after Gordon and Octavia graduate high school, their father falls ill and soon passes away, by then they are sharing an apartment on the university campus. Gordon is undoubtedly a genius, Octavia is quite intelligent as well, but she is studying for casual things such as photography and journalism, compared to Gordon who's clearly working for his PhD in science stuff. Soon after their father passes, Octavia finds herself taking the loss much worse than Gordon, and somewhere down the line she finds herself addicted to heroin. If Gordon wasn't home the night she finally overdosed, she would have died. During her rehabilitation and healing process, this brings the two of them closer and Gordon simply tells her that he cannot lose her, because she's the only family he has left. From that day forward, the two became even more inseparable.

Gordon and Octavia both end up at Black Mesa! Gordon obviously working in anomalous materials, whilst Octavia became the first female security guard, and she and Barney form a great friendship. Barney even tells her about his interest in Lauren, and she instantly hooks them up and everybody watches them fall in love. Octavia, like Barney, is a huge party animal, and enjoys grabbing some beers with Barney and Gordon after a long shift. Did I mention that Octavia and Barney are huge Queen fans? 😎 They will blast their music every day when they hit up the shooting range or while on lunch break. Also, Barney proposes to Lauren and Octavia was so happy when he announced it to her that she literally would not shut up about wedding plans for a whole week.

Black Mesa Incident time, yayyyy.

Octavia loses her shit when she can't find Gordon, she knew he was going in the test chamber that day, she wasn't supposed to know but he had told her anyways. She and Barney team up to fight the foreign alien creatures in order to escape Black Mesa alive. They are extremely pissed about the military simply executing any scientist or Black Mesa employee, however their highest priority is finding Gordon. Octavia and Barney get separated inside the Lambda facility, Octavia is trapped within and simply focuses on finding Gordon. She finds a portal to Zen, where she fights more of the alien creatures and soon realizes there's no way back to Earth. Suddenly the G-Man introduces himself to her, and offers her a job, she hesitates, but accepts when he tells her that he has Gordon. Together, the twins are put into stasis until their "hour has come again".

I'm not gonna get too much into the Half-Life 2 era stuff cause I'm planning on making a fan fic of it but here's some highlights and other facts about Octavia.

The land outside City 17 is fairly different, White Forest still exists, however everything is more inland and not next to the coast. The only large bodies of water are rivers and lakes. Technically City 17 is somewhere in Russia or in Soviet territory because I noticed a lot of the buildings and signs there are in Russian, but let's pretend City 17 is in the US because I want Octavia and Gordon to find their home as well as the ruins of Black Mesa. :3

City 17 has a wall around it that the Combine patrol heavily, the canals still exist but there is also underground tunnels that lie below City 17. The Combine are completely clueless of the underground tunnels, therefore Alyx uses them to help transport supplies and escort citizens to other outposts.

The Combine become aware of Gordon and Octavia's return a couple months after they arrive, unlike literally within the first day in the actual game.

Gordon and Alyx do fall in love of course. :)

Barney and Octavia fall in love too. :) Not gonna spoil shit about what happens to Lauren though I'm sure you can figure it out easily.

Eli's lab is far outside City 17, further west, so instead of it being called Black Mesa East, it's now Black Mesa West. It's actually a fairly large building that is partially submerged underground and is hidden in the trees so the Combine aren't aware of it. There's a nice open area to the south of the lab where Alyx and Dog have plenty of room to play fetch.

Since the lab is partially submerged underground, kinda like some houses where the back end is underground but the front isn't, that's literally this concept. So you can basically walk onto the roof, and that's Barney and Octavia's hang-out spot. This is also the spot where they confide in each other and talk about their tragedies, for Octavia, her heroin addiction and overdose, and for Barney, what happened to Lauren.

Oh yeah they also stole a Combine helicopter and fixed up Black Mesa style. 😎

Octavia helps Barney cope with his reoccurring nightmares over Lauren and the things he's seen working undercover, oh, and about that cat.

Barney managed to save some of the old mixtapes he and Octavia made back in the day, as well as the portable cassette player, which he rigged so it doesn't need batteries. So they constantly jam out to their favorite old tunes when hanging out or going on supply runs or hunting trips.

Octavia is definitely a night owl, Gordon is as well and they both have troubles sleeping sometimes. Gordon sometimes joins Octavia on the roof at 3am to talk some energy out in hopes of going back to sleep.

The classic desert eagle is Octavia's preferred weapon, the one she used while on security at Black Mesa. She is forever grateful that Barney managed to find and keep her prized gun after the Incident, as well as Gordon's infamous crowbar. The crowbar he still swears his life on by the way, ha.

Like Alyx, Octavia is quite fit and flexible, it's obvious they're experts at parkour. ;) If you haven't noticed, Alyx has a hoodie underneath her leather jacket with the Black Mesa logo, so I decided Octavia's shirt should have the Lambda logo with a similar color concept as seen on Gordon's HEV suit.

Octavia sometimes will go undercover with Barney to try and understand what he does every day, as well as gain more Combine information. She starts doing this soon before they confide in each other and confess their newfound love for each other. They definitely feel like they're working together again like in the old days but now forming secret crushes on each other.

Okay I'm not gonna spill too many more details without spoiling everything haha. But this is Octavia, as well as a brief explanation on my Half-Life universe. I showed my finished drawing of Octavia to my boyfriend and he swears she looks like me in real life but I don't see it other than the fact we both wear glasses and we both have our hair in ponytails all the time lol. The pose was based off of Kibbitzer's reference sheets, as mentioned before, you can find Kibbitzer's sheets on DeviantArt, their Patreon, or by simply searching it in Google. So yeah, this is my OC, Octavia Freeman, I hope you guys like her because I've put a lot of thought into her character and I've never done that with my other OCs haha. But I'm really proud of it. :)

#Half-Life #oc #Gordon Freeman #Alyx Vance #Barney Calhoun #Black Mesa #art #Freemance #Kibbitzer #fanfic

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maiji · 6 years

Photo

Process and wip images for A House That Holds Long Limbs

You can read the pages for part 1 here (full complete version will be linked from YYH North Bound master post whenever it’s done.)

Every so often I get questions about how I work, and I also enjoy reading about how other creators make things, so perhaps this might be interesting and useful to somebody out there too. I’ve talked about my process before but never really documented and shared it WHILE working on a project, so here you can see some of my thinking and decision-making (and poor habits lol) a bit more immediately, alongside screenshots, photos and scans.

Very long, everything is below the cut, and apologies to people on mobile and anywhere else this goofs up.

One question I get a lot is “do you start with words or pictures when creating a comic?” I jump between both a lot. That said, I tend to lean more heavily on words when documenting ideas in the early stages of a project. This is because, for me:

Words pack a lot of punch in conveying detail quickly. They work better when I need to quickly communicate something extremely specific to future me. I’m a sloppy drawer, so my sketches tend to make future me squint and go, “What the hell was this supposed to be?!”

A great deal of my thinking and planning is done during crowded commutes. It’s more convenient to jot notes on my phone than to whip out my sketchbook and a pen.

(For a while I thought it’d be awesome to have some sort of app where I can type notes AND have an accompanying thumbnail sketch, and be able to drag them around or break them out into more or fewer pages. At one point years ago I thought about creating a custom app... but ultimately too lazy/busy and my current process works well enough. If anyone wants to take this idea and run with it, please feel free to do so and just let me know about it so I can try it haha.)

I usually start with a few lines summarizing the gist of the idea, enough that’s recognizable and I don’t forget the important things to build off from. From there, I start point-form outlining the stuff that needs to happen, structuring them into key scenes/parts. These scenes are not always fleshed out in order - I just add to them whenever I have ideas for that part.

Long Limbs, for example, had a progression like this:

Overall story idea: “horror story with rokurokubi, key plot point(s) happens, the end.” (There was a bit more detail than this, obviously, but we’re avoiding spoilers here.)

Initial description for Part 1 of the story: “Hokushin lured to go to somewhere. Separated from Raizen. HOW??????”

After letting it simmer for while, a solution: “Hokushin annoyed at Raizen. Opportunity for him to get away and go do his own thing.”

Gradually more detail: “Stranger invites him to go to this place to look into something/maybe has a paid job that needs to be done and Raizen is busy goofing off or whatever.”

Problem. I couldn’t resolve this chain of thought to my satisfaction. What kind of task/job can someone convince Hokushin to do on his own when he doesn’t know this person/it seems questionable? And how long will the conversation need to run to establish this as believable?

This was starting to get convoluted and I was getting annoyed because it was turning into a burden in being able to continue the story AND IT WASN’T EVEN THAT IMPORTANT. I decided to abandon this path of thinking, and left the entire story for a while.

Much later (like months?), I had an idea: “Mysterious person drops something, piques Hokushin’s curiosity.” Aha! Hokushin’s own initiative. Simple and plausible enough. HOORAY NO MORE THINKING. LET’S DRAW.

Then I realized, oh shoot, I need to figure out who this mysterious person is and what they dropped. More time passes. And so on… in between I’m always working on other things, so there’s no real creator’s block - at some point I start thinking about this comic again, and ideas work themselves out to some decent level of satisfaction and link together. Thanks subconscious!

Eventually, enough key scenes are fleshed out that I feel confident enough to turn this into a real thing. At present, for example, not all scenes in Long Limbs are totally worked out, but I’ve got enough that I ran ahead with Part 1.

Screenshot of the Google Docs notes/script for Part 1:

This is a close-to-final version. The === on top is just to separate this from notes on other stories or ideas. This is the beginning of the document, but this document actually includes many other notes and stories for North Bound. I delete them as I finish and post the pages. Every so often I wonder if I should bother keeping them, but they’ve been refined throughout the process and usually don’t bear much resemblance to the original jotted notes anymore. Long Limbs was originally planned to be a later story in North Bound, but I got especially excited about it and fleshed it out further than the others. When I reviewed the earlier stories, I didn’t think there’d be a big continuity or reader experience issue if this was finished and posted first. So I moved the messy notes for this story to the top of the document.

The page breakdown for the script is done by me generally picturing in my head how I might want the scene to go and how much action I might be able to fit on the page for good effect. I’ll sometimes start paginating without thumbnails, and sometimes will do both side by side (thumbnail and update pagination in tandem).

As you might imagine, pagination frequently changes. For example, you’ll see the script above is 9 pages instead of 10.

The original script for this section was broken up into maybe 4-6 pages, with 5-7 being more condensed.

When I started thumbnailing, I found it felt too cluttered and moved too fast.

So I stretched out the part of Hokushin and the mystery girl exchanging glances, and added pages to be able to create a (hopefully) more cinematic feel and really focus on the reason they catch each other’s eye - the bandages on their necks.

I then went back to the Google Doc and updated the script to line it up better.

I was also tweaking the dialogue at the same time and didn’t want to forget any key phrasing I liked. Dialogue is another thing I get really hung up over, often changing words up to the last second. (Sometimes this is because I messed up the size of the speech bubble, if I’m lettering on the computer...)

Thumbnails:

Pretty close to the final in this case - mainly because the sequence is pretty simple and straightforward and not many people are involved. I keep my thumbnails very crappy and rough so that I don’t get upset later when I can’t redraw something as good as the thumbnail. Bottom right was a quick attempt at designing the mystery girl.

Once I think the thumbnails are good enough - translation: I get impatient and just want to start drawing - I proceed to pencils for the actual page.

Throughout all this, I’m repeatedly reviewing script and thumbnail and playing sequences out in my head and then trying to figure out how to better direct the “camera” and the action. I may go back to the script and the thumbnails even as I’m finetuning the actual page if I encounter issues. You can see in both the script and the thumbnails that there are still deviations in the dialogue and the art from the final. Here are a few examples:

Page 3: The panels were originally 1) the setting, 2) Hokushin with his arms folded, 3) Raizen laughing, 4) we see that Hokushin is watching Raizen. After reviewing the thumbnail, I felt it’d be a better setup to flow into the scene if I switched panels 2 and 3. That’s closer to how you’d experience it in real life, or how it might be directed in a shot sequence: you enter an area/place, you hear the sound of some guy’s loud laughter filling the air, then the camera zooms up to the annoyed expression of this one particular dude and you see he’s staring at the laughing guy. Moving from bigger ambience to smaller details around the room.

Page 7: The girl was originally turning in the other direction (hard to tell because I redrew it right on top of the original sketch lol). However, this meant all the directional action would be pointing to the right - Hokushin is facing the right, and when he leaves the bar he’s angling towards the right side of the page. Facing the direction that readers will read in gives a sense of driving the action forward, while facing the opposite direction provides a bit of a mental stop. (This is something from Scott McCloud that always stuck with me.) So, I flipped the girl around.

Page 8: Script has Hokushin going “What’s this?”. When thumbnailing, I thought, “obviously it’s self-evident he’s wondering what this is when he picks it up”. It added nothing to the panel, and the speech or thought bubble would have interrupted the smooth action of him picking up the paper. So, axed.

The damn friggin’ bar and gambling: You’ll see the script mention this, and at one point I actually had the guy standing across from Raizen saying “Is this guy drunk?” I’m actually not sure if they’re in a bar or if Raizen is drinking, but neither were important to the actual story because I just needed Raizen and Hokushin to be in a place where Raizen could hang out with humans and be stupid. So I dropped these details. This is mainly because I ran into historical research problems about bars and alcohol during the Kamakura period (more on that near the end of this post), and this was the only way to stop myself from getting hung up on trying to make it “perfect” and “correct” and just get it done.

Drawing the actual pages. This part is fun!

Inking the actual pages. THIS PART IS NOT FUN :(

I don’t have very steady hands and I get very anxious about messing things up, so inking always takes me the longest. (I also get distracted easily, e.g., ink two lines and then surf tumblr for ten minutes lol). I’ve improved a lot since I started drawing comics much more frequently a couple years ago, and my choice of tools and style has helped a lot (I lean to variable lines and sketchy style, which is more forgiving than, say, a very precise art style with fixed-width pens) but I still get nervous at this stage.

I’m very lazy so I usually stick with one tool for inking. For Long Limbs I tried to effort more and actually used three. Right to left: Sailor fude de mannen for panel borders and text, Muji pen for artwork (0.4 because that was the only size available at the store when I went to get my refill), Pentel pocket brush for filling in blacks. I refill the fude de mannen and the pocket brush with fountain pen inks.

I usually ink panel borders first, then speech bubbles, then everything else. I hop all over the place and pages are generally in varying stages of completion. I also sometimes add in some more text lines because it seems like a good idea at the time - Hokushin’s complaint on page 3 about how he should have left Raizen when he got into a fight with a fish-seller in a previous story, for example. Sometimes these work, sometimes I regret it later and edit it on the computer.

Cover thumbnails and pencil sketch:

The one in the page thumbnails was the original idea, but then I thought, “seems kinda cliched. Can I get a more interesting angle where he’s not looking straight at the viewer?” (OK, his eyes are covered, but you know what I mean.) I quickly tried a few other angles and compositions, didn’t like them and ended up going with pretty much the original idea, but more zoomed in.

In the thumbnails, you can see all my little x’s indicating “ehhhh I don’t like this”. I wanted something with a particular mood/atmosphere especially with all the hands and arms, and I was conflicted between zooming out (for more environment and more arms, and the focus on the “long limbs” part of the title) or having a tighter, more close up shot. Ultimately I think the latter works better as it conveys a sense of claustrophobia, and it’s more intimate which supports the idea of psychological horror. ALSO IT’S SEXY (maybe???). The end.

Other random thoughts:

I took a lot of heart/inspiration/motivation from Togashi’s last few volumes of Yu Yu Hakusho to keep the backgrounds as lazy - I mean sparse - as possible and also speech bubbles over plain backgrounds lmao. I think it takes a lot of confidence (or maybe laziness) to be so minimalist and restrained, and it’s an impressive and economical way of working. I was always impressed that when reading those pages of his for the first time, the lack of detail never really bothered me - you had everything you needed for your brain to comfortably fill in the gaps and complete the sense of narrative and story progression, and there are still visual flourishes when the situation calls for it. So I’m trying to bring a bit of that tighter philosophy in.

Research. I struggle a LOT with not getting bogged down by details, especially when it’s something “just” for fun or “just” a fancomic. I have very lovely and helpful friends and family who every so often patiently allow me to whine and bounce things off of them, help me look things up, and/or tell me when I’m getting myopic about stuff. For all the North Bound comics, finding quick and useful historical references for the time period has been a challenge. There’s a ton about aristocracy and warriors but very little about the ordinary/common people, not surprisingly. I frequently question my instincts about what makes sense because I tend to automatically draw on similar/equivalent Chinese culture (there was certainly lots of cross-over, but not always appropriate/relevant) or Edo period references (wrong time frame! Too far in the future). I often end up losing a ton of time trying to find something with roundabout searches, and then give up and look at other comics I have close enough to the time period. And then referencing those and compounding whatever historical errors they have in them. (e.g., “Well if it was good enough for Osamu Tezuka’s Phoenix it’s good enough for this rando fancomic!”) I just would like historical/subject matter experts to know I did try...

#yu yu hakusho #comics #hokushin #raizen #fanart #process #wip #art by Maiji/Mary Huang #sketches #art supplies #yyh north bound

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yujachachacha · 7 years

Note

HiHi! same anon who asked you about Yakkai hehe (how did you know my true intentions? jk!) Just to cut you some slack I did try googling it myself before asking again but all I got were results for knb character songs(?) and a bollywood film(???) Frankly, I really do want to know because I've heard the term used in passing. Particularly from reports about the 2nd live Kobe leg. I heard about people doing it in KoiAqua?? To the point where someone got strangled in the Korean LV?? Is it that bad??

Hey there! Not gonna lie, I’m still lowkey pouting in the corner because you did that, but I’m glad to see that you’re genuinely curious. Thanks for trying your best! (☞ >ω･)☞

I have no idea what schools are teaching y’all these days, but research doesn’t mean typing a single word into Google! Also, if you’re gonna look up a Japanese term, you’re not gonna get the right results if you type the word in English without any additional parameters. Here are three methods you should try using when Googling a Japanese term you don’t know:

1. Write it in Japanese, i.e. “やっかい”. The first Google result is in Japanese, but let’s assume that we’re not so good at reading Japanese (since if we were, we’d probably be able to figure out the meaning of “yakkai” pretty quickly), and skip over this one. The second result gives you a Wiktionary link, which is in English and perfect for our purposes. It defines the word 厄介 (yakkai) as “troublesome” or a “burden”. This is literally what “yakkai” means, but for the purposes of idol fan culture, we’ll be adding a bit more meaning to this.

2. If you’re doing your search in English, add the word “Japanese” to your search term. After all, if we’re not so good at reading Japanese, who’s to say that we’ll be able to type something in Japanese? Try Googling the phrase “yakkai japanese”. This guarantees that what you’re typing won’t be mistaken for a word from another language (which is why you got results for a Bollywood film). The Google results are almost the same as in method #1, except that there are a lot more links in English rather than Japanese. So in short, this is basically an alternative to the first method for those of you who can’t read Japanese so well.

3. Include context for your term, i.e. add things like “Love Live” and “idol”. We can now try to figure out what the word means in the context of the LL fandom by googling “yakkai love live”. A bunch of the image results are Bollywood-related (because of yakkai + love, lol), but the top two links give us threads from the /r/LoveLive subreddit. The very first link in particular, “Aqours 2nd Love Live Discussion [Kobe]”, actually contains exactly what we’re looking for.

If you use the “find” function (“ctrl + f”, or “cmd + f” if you’re on a Mac like me) and search for “yakkai”, you’ll eventually see that someone on this thread asked what people meant by yakkai calls in the discussion about the live. /u/MasterMirage himself (a mod of the LL subreddit and a member of Team ONIBE) gives a great explanation:

Um, so if you’re aware of the standard “Fu fu”, “fuwa fuwa” and “hai” chants, these are the standard go to chants to do at lives.

The Koi Aqua Yakkai (troublesome/burden) calls are out of place calls that you normally don’t do at lives since they interrupt the flow of the concert and are considered disruptive by many people.

I guess this video explains it pretty well since the calls here are what you should not do at a live:

https://twitter.com/dan_chii/status/882024909995556864

A common call “IE TAIGA” is something that people are getting annoyed at because people think it’s funny.

Sat from Fripside even called out on these alternative/disruptive calls:

https://twitter.com/Jsan_san/status/896918057397829634

I highly recommend you check out those Twitter links to give you a better understanding of what yakkai calls are (video in the first link) and why you shouldn’t be doing them (translated quote in the second link). For the first link, the yakkai isn’t too bad, at least until you get to the rap portion of the master mix at about 55 seconds in. But just imagine how annoying it would be if the fans were screaming that during a live rather than at a casual wota session at a convention. :’)

Also, I’m gonna go ahead and write down a part of the material in the second link here, because it’s really important:

“That part was made with the idea that the silence could be felt before the hook, you know? It has a purpose. I didn’t want [it] to be destroyed!”

Keep in mind that this was said by Satoshi of fripSide about his own song, while on stage during a concert tour. That’s how annoying these calls are. Instead of respecting the mood that the artists worked so hard to create for the song, yakkai concertgoers try to be as disruptive as possible for their own amusement.

So yeah, “ie taiga” (for those of you who aren’t familiar with this term, here’s my explanation from a previous ask) and similar calls/wota are the essence of yakkai. If you’re wondering why it enrages people so much, consider the following:

After spending a lot of money and praying to the gods for luck, a fan manages to score a seat at an Aqours live. At the concert, the fan is enjoying the fact that they’re listening to the Aqours seiyuu singing and dancing in front of them, live. Holy crap! :D But then comes along some asshole who thinks it’s funny to ruin the mood by screaming in the middle of a song. Opportunities to attend an Aqours live aren’t common, so it’s understandable that someone would end up getting very upset.

The same goes for a live viewing. A live viewing is an opportunity to see the seiyuu perform in real-time, and it’s a precious one at that. Footage shown at screenings differs slightly from the more polished versions we get in Blu-rays, so you get to see the raw performance at a viewing. Plus, you’re cheering and jumping and screaming along with the audience like you would at the actual live. “Ie taiga” distracts you from recreating the atmosphere of the performance, and is a huge sign of disrespect towards the other attendees.

Korean LL fans in particular have a deep-seated hatred for “ie taiga” (I’m not quite sure why it’s so intense - perhaps it has to do with the nature of the LLer culture over there?). For example, popular YouChika artist GamGam (@gamjolno on Twitter) has complained heavily about it happening during lives, and even resorted to plugging their ears at the pivotal moment in KoiAqua just to avoid hearing the phrase. As many Korean LLers were at a live viewing for the 2nd Live tour, the combined murderous rage they held for yakkai LLers exploded when they heard it actually happen during the screening.

Of course, I don’t approve of them trying to strangle (or physically harm in general) a yakkai LLer. What I will say, however, is that I can at least see why someone reacted that way.

If you need another example to understand why they went that far: I assume you’re familiar with “Snow halation”, and the famous part of the song where the µ’s members stand still before the audience cracks their UOs. There’s a brief moment, before Honoka’s emotional solo and the explosion of bright orange filling up the concert venue, where everything is silent save for the jingling of bells leading up to the climax (3:08~3:09). It’s a beautiful, almost holy silence, revered by many for this sacred and beloved performance.

Now, imagine if someone suddenly screamed “YEAH TIGERRRR!!!” right at that moment.

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

Understand now? It’s not funny. It’s not impressive. It’s downright infuriating.

First, yakkai LLers took away the enjoyment of the “I miss you~” You solo line in KoiAqua and the build-up to the chorus (see ~1:22 in this video for an audio demonstration). Then, someone decided to ruin the dramatic silence before the final chorus of “Aozora Jumping Heart” (~3:30 in the song). And now, there’s been reports of someone at the Saitama live screaming “IE TAIGAAA” right as the song slows down before the “la la la~” ending portion (~3:33 in the song).

I would hesitantly say that the “ie taiga” for KoiAqua is on the borderline of being tolerable. The song is full of chants anyway, and that part after You’s line does sound like it could accommodate some kind of call - but still, you should save it for a fan mix rather than a live. It’s the kind of thing that’ll make some people giggle at the weirdness, while others roll their eyes and mutter about the newest generation of LLers being yakkai af.

But for AoJump and MiraTicke, the yakkai incidents have been happening at solemn, quieter portions of the song rather than the cheerful and noisy sections. I have seen various posts by LLers claiming that they’re proud to “ie taiga” at a live as the ultimate expression of their wota skills, plus they’re doing it just for teh lulz. Again - it’s highly inappropriate, and disrespectful to both the audience members who are trying to enjoy the performance and the performers who are trying to make the performance enjoyable. If you want to prove that you’re a devoted LLer, your actions shouldn’t be damaging to the community.

To wrap things up: if you happen to search for “yakkai idol” instead, the first result that Google gives you is a blog post that talks about the concept of yakkai at idol events. The author includes some sound wisdom at the end:

What people really mean when they say “don’t be yakkai” is just that don’t go crazy and enjoy being annoying, and taking your entertainment at the cost of the enjoyment of others. Like, it’s fun to troll people, but that’s not good if the other party doesn’t enjoy it. It might be fun to go nuts, but don’t do it when it’s inappropriate.

Basically, it’s okay to go crazy during karaoke sessions or casual wota sessions with friends. Take that tweet in the first link from MasterMirage’s comment. I happen to know one of the people in that video, and he’s an awesome guy who knows a lot about concert calls. These wota bros were being “yakkai” for sure, but they were doing it at the Lumica booth at Anime Expo rather than a live. It was actually pretty amusing, and was almost like a free ad for the booth: “See these LLers partying with their lightsticks? You too can join in on the fun by purchasing a Lumica blade and/or UOs at this booth!” But for the sake of other fans, make sure you keep it clean during actual lives and public screenings.

tl;dr: “Yakkai” literally means “burdensome/troublesome”, and refers to antics of this nature by fans during performances. Notable examples include particularly annoying fans who scream “IE TAIGA” not only during KoiAqua, but also in highly inappropriate moments from other songs. Don’t be like this during a live unless you want to be heavily criticized for disrespecting the performers and lacking common decency for the people around you.

#love live! sunshine!!#love live sunshine #aqours #aqours 2nd live #happy party train tour #yakkai #info #my ramblings #anonymous #yujachask #queuetie panther #today on yujacha's blog: i give lessons on how to do research #smh do schools not teach kids how to do proper research these days #AND NOW Y'ALL KNOW WHY I ITALICIZED 'BOTHER' IN THE PREVIOUS ASK #AREN'T I CLEVER? :D #...okay i'll leave now #again apologies for leaving this to my queue #my family just celebrated korean thanksgiving lol

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arirashkae · 7 years

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Okay, prompt for literal fluff. Felix-is-a-cat AU, only now BOTH of them are cats. Maybe something where they are totally just cuddling up for warmth... Bonus points for Locus cleaning Felix (G-rated) who reluctantly sits and positively does not enjoy it of course. Lol.

I almost didn’t get to this because I kept getting called away. But! I am here! Have an AU scene to FQPRCC for Fluff Week! (Also, Google Translate is the best when doing Red vs Blue XD. “Look what the cat dragged in”, which interestingly is different than “look what the cat dragged in”)

Quod Cattus Respice In Trahebatur

Characters: Felix, Locus (not written to be shippy, but I’m not gonna say you can’t read it that way)

Rating: T/M for Felix’s usual command of the English language

Warnings: involuntary shapeshifting, accidental intoxication, forcible cuddling

Word count: 1698

AO3

@rvbficwars (just in case XD)

‘Oh,that is not fucking fair.’Felix’stail lashed angrily as he pulled back on Locus’ undersuit, helpingthe enormous and fluffycatthat was his partner to extricate himself from the jumble of armor.

Locustwisted to look himself over. ‘Thisdoes seem to be a problem.’Somehow,Locus managed to come out of this twice Felix’s size.

Theyhad almost made it to the door with the crate holding Felix’s armor.Unfortunately, ‘almost’ only counted with horseshoes, hand grenades,and tactical nukes, and Locus had been caught in the same beam oflight that had enveloped Felix when he’d tried to circle the room.

‘No,I mean even as a goddamned cat you’re still a beast,’Felixgroused. Locus just shot him an unimpressed look and concentrated onstanding up properly.

Thetwo of them picked their way out of the room, trying to hurry whilenavigating the unfamiliar mechanics of having four legs.'Technically,that is the definition of a cat.’Theystopped just outside the door and turned back. Their armor lay a fewyards inside. They had come so close, and yet nowhere near closeenough.

'Oh,go fuck yourself. You know what I mean.’Felixyawned, showing off every single one of his nice sharp teeth. Locusremained unimpressed. He turned away and sat down just outside thedoorway, studying what he could see. As if that would give them anyclues as to what the fuck had just happened or more importantly howto fucking fix it.Felixconcentrated instead on coordination and processing the flood ofinformation his new senses were bringing in.

'Ithink we can safely assume that the researchers also ran afoul ofthis device.’Neitherof them even bothered questioning how they were still able tocommunicate so effortlessly. After so long having each other’s backs,sometimes Felix was amazed they even neededtospeak to each other any more. Not that Felix was taking a vow ofsilence any time soon, mind. Irritating Locus was one of the thingsthat got him out of bed in the morning.

'Gee,you think?’Felixtook another few careful steps. Embolden by the lack of wobbling, hetried a few small hops. The more he moved, the more natural this newbody felt. Twitch an ear thiswayto catch noises over there,curl the tail justsotohelp counterbalance a jump …

Hestopped and cocked his head. Locus was still peering into ThatFucking Room, the tip of his ridiculously fluffy tail curled aroundhis feet and his whiskers twitching slightly. Felix tilted his headthe other way, gauging the distance.

Hecrouched and crept forward, stepping carefully to be as quiet aspossible. When he was fairly confident he could make the leap, hepounced–

–andended up slammed to the floor as Locus whirled and smacked him,pinning him down with his own body weight. 'Iwas wondering how long before you tried something like that.’

Felixtried to twist free, but Locus was easily double his size, evenbefore accounting for that coat. He huffed. 'Oh,come on. Like you aren’t tempted to try.’

Locusdidn’t answer, but he did let Felix up, cuffing him lightly in thehead. 'Weshould at least attempt to access the records. Hopefully the team wasable to find somethingthatwill help us before they disappeared.’

'Withour luck, they’ll be locked by fingerprints or retinal scans or someridiculous key one of them made up.’

'Whichis why we were given the decryption overrides.

Theythreaded their way through the cleared rooms, eager to find the exitas quickly as possible. Neither one of them liked leaving their armorand weapons behind, but there was very little they could do about it.

Thesun was almost too bright, the jungle around them too loud, when theyfinally made it out of the temple complex. 'Idon’t know if you’ve looked at yourself in the last few minutes,Locs, but I don’t exactly think either of us is going to be flyingthe Pelican over there any time soon. And carrying any of those padsthrough this mess is going to be exactly easy.’

Aftera few moments of getting their new bearings, they struck out fortheir Pelican. 'Wewill figure something out. We are still alive, and more importantly,still awareofwho we are, regardless of what we look like.’

Neitherof them needed to say it, but they both heard the 'for now’ at theend of that statement.

'Fiiiine.Be the optimist.’Felixtrotted ahead, pausing every so often to sniff a plant or try topounce on a bug. He had just stopped, staring at a particularly luridflower and trying to remember if he’d noticed it on the way down,when Locus barreled into him. They tumbled down the path, Felixyowling in indignation as he clawed for purchase to stop them.

’Bequiet,’Locussnarled. He whirled to face the flower and backed up slightly, stillsnarling, ears pinned back and poofed out to look even larger. Itwould have been hysterical, if not for the fact that the flower wasnow turned towards them – and there was a splotch of pollen onLocus’ face.

Felixcaught himself flattening to the ground in fear and shook himself'Whatthe fuck was that?’

'Idon’t know, but it looked like it had been leaning towards you andthat can’t have been good.’Locuskept backing up until he was even with Felix. 'Didany of it hit you?’

Felixtwisted, managing to roll completely over as he checked. 'I’mclean. You get hit any worse than that?’

'Idon’t think so.’Locusshook his head and took a few swipes at it with one paw. 'ButI did inhale some of … some of it…’Hetrailed off, shaking his head again.

'Locus?’Felixcrouched again, unsure if his partner was going to go berserk, dropdead, or–

–orstart … laughing?

'I’mmmgood.’Locusswayed on his feet, before flopping down on one side, blinking up atFelix.

Felix’sears flattened almost immediately. ’…Locus?’

Hispartner twisted around, ending up almost flat on his back and curvedin a semi circle. 'Yyeesss?’

Felixgaped at him. Then he realized that rumbling noise was Locus purring.'Holyfuck, are youhigh?’

'AmI?’Locusblinked up at him, tail swishing lazily. He took a swipe at the emptyair above him.

'Ohfuck me,’Felixbreathed. As if this day couldn’t get any worse – or any moreridiculous. Now not only were the two of them currently fucking cats,but his stoic and taciturn partner was currently rolling in the grassand batting at imaginary butterflies or some bullshit like that.

Hehad to smack Locus a few times to get his attention, but eventuallyhe focused on him. 'Getup, asshole. You can’t stay here. With our luck, you’ll get steppedon before we change back.’

’…Felix?’

'Oh,Jesus Christ, get on your fucking feet and let’s go.’Felix practically had to shove Locus into sitting up, but once he wasthere, momentum or what-fucking-ever took over and he stumbled to hisfeet. And stopped there.

Itprobably looked ridiculous, but Felix face-palmed – face-pawed? –anyway. He bumped his shoulder against Locus’. 'Thisway, asshole.’Hestarted back down the path to the ship; Locus trotted after him,purring happily and his tail straight up like a banner.

'Fuckyou, fuck this place, fuck this job,’Felixgrumbled. At least he could still manage the keypad for the Pelican.That meant he could herd Locus into the fucking ship – 'goddamnit,thisway’– andlock the ramp behind them. He silently apologized – something hewould never do out loud – for every time Locus had hauled his drunkass back to wherever they were holed up. If he had been half as badas this, then Locus had the patience of a goddamned saint.

Ofcourse, now they had to figure out what the fuck to do next.Hopefully this shit would wear off soon; Locus stoned and happy wassomehow even creepier than he was sober. Probably because it was justso wrong.

'We’reprobably going to have to eat the MREs cold until we get our bodiesback. I don’t trust something won’t fuck up if we try to heat themand–’

Forthe second time in less than as many house, Felix found himselfsquashed beneath his partner. Thistime,however, Locus was purring like a goddamned chainsaw and nuzzlingthe back of his neckwhatthe fuck?'Youworry too much.’

'Yeah,because that’s usually yourjob,asshole. Now let me up.’

InsteadLocus, fucker that he was, just sprawled even more. 'No.’M comfortable.’

'Locus,I swear to fucking God–’

Felix’sthreat was cut short by the swipe of a rough tongue across his head.He froze in complete shock. Locus repeated the motion, somehowmanaging to purr even louderinthe process.

'Locus,’Felixhissed. 'Whatthe fuck do you think you’re doing?’

Locusjust shifted until he was less sprawled and more curled up acrossFelix’s back. 'Quiet.You’re too tense. Need t’ relax.’Hecontinued fucking groominghim,and started kneading his shoulders for good measure.

Almostagainst his will, Felix didfeelhimself start to relax, between the purring and the kneading. 'So,what? Are you suggesting a catnap?’Nowaywashe going near the groomingwitha ten-foot pole. If he was lucky, Locus wouldn’t remember any of thiswhen he sobered up.

'Yes.Sleep. Tha’ would be good.’Locusgave a jaw-cracking yawn, and Felix couldn’t help mirroring him. Hehuffed a sigh as Locus dropped his head on top of Felix’s own. Thatactually did sound pretty good right now.

’…you know you’re an asshole, right?’

Locusput one paw over Felix’s mouth. 'Shhh.Sleep now. Argue later.’Henuzzled the back of Felix’s head and dropped off almost immediately.

Ofcoursethefucker would snore rightinhis ear. Asshole.

(Have some cat!mercs 😁💕)

#rvb fluff week #isaac 'felix' gates #samuel 'locus' ortez #my writing #zhaneel replies #izzybutt #Zhaneel replies #fqprcc

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