#so anyway i wanna complete aa first and honestly i do also very much want to own wobm very dearly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thestarssystem · 3 years

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aa hello i've written this like 10 times but it always got extremely long so i'm gonna try to keep it shorter hdbznj also i just wanted to say its okay, take ur time ! i hope u had a nice time on ur break :] also i'm glad you're fine with these asks cause i always end up rambling and stuff that makes the asks really long dgzbzj

i've been thinking about the possibility of a persecutor as well, but i wasn't really sure because i was like "why would the first alter that i directly hear/that presents themself to me be a persecutor" so ty for the response :]

& the thing about giving away information would make sense, the panic specifically started when i was feeling very ,, apathetic but on the upset scale? if that makes sense? and wanted to vent about it on a subreddit about venting, and i don't even remember what caused the panic, but i assumed it was either a. i started getting memories of the events i was trying to vent about (emotional flashback?) or b. it was just social anxiety acting up again because i knew i would do as much as writing it all out but i would never post it, but i think it could've been a mix of both + what you suggested (also quick note: when someone called me fox they also said stuff like their dms are open if i need to vent etc etc and i don't exactly remember what caused the panic to spike there? but i think i was just happy-ish someone cared and then i think something else happened in my mind that could've influenced me in a bad way (e.g self h4tred) but honestly i don't remember </3)

but another thing is, i've done that a bunch of times. for example i post neg posts / vents / rants a lot sometimes on a different website (on an account where i feel comfortable on, though i always delete them like 6 seconds later) and i posted one on the same subreddit on friday because i was panicking, i barely remember what happened when i was panicking though, and i kind of blocked everything out because i was too focused on the trigger (school). the voice hasn't been back for a while now so i'm starting to think it could've just been my imagination? though it could've been i'm just not able to hear it anymore / before that, or that it's not always there (which might/probably is the case if it wasnt me imagining stuff)

also, i have a few questions if thts okay :]

this might be a weird question, but is it normal to like- have a good relationship with alters almost right away, despite the fact it's your first time directly interacting? or have alters front even though you've never heard them / they've never interacted with you? i know those are two very contradicting statements, though i have no idea how to explain it further </3

one last thing: yesterday i had like 2 mental breakdowns because i got triggered by some stuff and i was up until like 3am (i went to bed at exactly 4am) and i did some stuff like switching up my profile, i was really tired and had been d1ssociating for hours after i got triggered. when i woke up today, and went on my profile, it all felt very ,, weird? like, it kind of caught me off guard when i realized my profile was different because i barely had memory of doing so (i could recall it though, it was just very very fuzzy and in one of them i felt like i wasn't even the one doing it). i just wanted to ask, could the d1ssociation have caused that, or is that just a normal thing for when you're tired?

sorry i didn't want to send just a regular update on things so i waited a bit until i had questions shxbxj hope you're doing well :]

- fox (i was a bit anxious because it was getting long so i kept them a bit short, so if u need me to elaborate on any of these i'd be glad to! i don't mind /gen)

oo wait i really quickly wanna make a small suggestion to you. Just something that we do a lot! If you have snapchat, i suggest creating a private story with yours as the only account that can see it and just use that to rant! It makes it easier to document for later (if you want) but also keeps it private and allows you to rant about what you’re feeling and get that nice moment of release haha.

Anyway, on to your actual questions:

So I would say that a lot of the time, it’s normal to not have a good relationship with alters right away. A lot of the time they’re kind of like strangers and you have to take the time to get to know them and be friends with them. For my system, we didn’t know of each other until we started talking about OSDD, but now I would consider most of us friends haha. Also, the first time that Daniel fronted was completely out of the blue. Granted, we didn’t know OSDD/DID at this point but there wasn’t even a slight sign that he was there haha. I would say that’s also fairly common. Maybe because they don’t want to talk to you, don’t need to talk to you, or are just too nervous to talk to you before hand.

Just normal dissociation could have caused the foggy memory about your profile, but the lack of sleep definitely didn’t help lol. When the brain is sleep deprived, it doesn’t have the energy to encode actions into memory like it normally. This is completely normal and happens all the time to people who are sleep deprived. However, dissociation (even without a switch) can also cause that weird “hazy” feeling. Because dissociation (without switches) normally causes a person to feel disconnected from themselves and from reality, it can cause processing of those memories to be a little wonky at times. In this state, you can still remember vaguely what happened, but may not recognize it as your own.

Also, you don’t have to worry about the length of your asks, Fox c: If you need more space to write then write your heart away. I’ll still give the same attention to your asks, regardless of length.

Stay safe xx

-Clover

#osdd protector #osdd positivity #did osdd #actually osdd #osdd problems #osdd alter #osdd community #osdd support #osdd system #osdd #dissociative system #dissociative alters #other specified dissociative disorder

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theartoflivingalways · 4 years

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i’ve been awake for over 24 hours

I haven’t been on tumblr in years. i stopped using it after high school, but I don’t know why. but now I’m back tonight, because I needed someone to talk to, but I have no one to listen. i have friends, i have family, i have a boyfriend. i have a therapist. but no matter what: i feel so unheard, so unseen, and so ignored by everyone in my life that i literally feel like i have no one to truly turn to. for anything. so, here i am. hope i get a warm welcome!!!

here’s the thing: i’m NOT a depressed person. i’m not sad, i don’t have any major mental health issues apart from anxiety and some adhd. and before you take that the wrong way, please don’t. i just got my master’s degree in social work and i’ll be starting my new job as a therapist in a couple of weeks.

but, i’m also NOT a happy person. tbh, i can’t really describe my overall ~mood~ or whatever you wanna call it. i kinda just wake up and survive the day, every day. i take it one day at a time ... kinda like what AA says to do; but no, before you ask or the thought crosses your mind, i’m not an addict. at least not a alcohol/other drugs addict ??? sorry

maybe this is why there’s no one to listen when i need them to. i fucking ramble about literally nothing before getting to the point.

it’s weird that i’m writing right now (ok, typing???). i haven’t done this since i was little. it feels good to do this, to have some sort of outlet when you feel so fucking unseen and unheard by every. single. person. around you.

so i haven’t slept in over 24 hours. it’s my own fault for sure and i have adderall to thank for that (yes i’m prescribed). i decided to start a blog again because i’m sitting here, still wide awake in my apartment, alone, while my boyfriend is sound asleep in my bedroom.

so what’s my fucking problem??? why do i want someone to talk to?? i don’t know honestly. i just feel like lately all i do is listen to others, help others, give myself completely to others. and in return, i get nothing. nothing even close to what i give, or to what i’m capable of giving. which is sad. not for me particularly (maybe?), but for others, yes, i think so.

i’m not saying that i expect anything in return for helping others, because i don’t. i didn’t enter the field of social work for the fucking money. and i know a lot of fucked up shit is going on in the world right now, and in no way do i want to minimize ANY of that. i’m just feeling a little lost and lonely, so i’m hoping this is a new outlet for me to sort out those feelings.

the last couple of hours, i’ve had a LONG string of thoughts. if you read through, you’ll eventually found out how they started. but one of the things i’ve been wrestling with in my mind is the type of person i am.

you see, it’s difficult to be “that” person for others your whole life, especially all the fucking time. if you’re anything like me, you know what i mean by that. and if you aren’t anything like me, well, first of all congrats!!!!, and secondly, i’ll explain what i mean.

when you’re “that” person for others, like myself, it’s easy for other people to walk all over you. take advantage of you, take you for granted, expect you to ALWAYS be there no matter the cost. and of course, why wouldn’t they? you’re always there to help. you’re ALWAYS there to offer support, guidance, and advice. you’re nurturing. you listen. you’re a fucking irreplaceable, loyal to death friend. if you’re VERY much like me, you’re also the one person in your family who isn’t a total fuck up (at least not publicly?)

you’re also nonjudgmental, and you were blessed with the curse of being empathic towards others at all times. empathy of course is beautiful and a very good thing to have in this life, but do you know how hard it is to feel for every single person around you.. and not have anyone feel for you???? damn

also, you never let anyone down!! ever. you’re reliable, dependable, trustworthy to the point where it’s almost sketchy because like??? who can be that way to everyone else at all times? you guessed it- people like me and people like u!! (if this is even semi-relatable, i’m sorry)

but people like us, like you, like me, tend to do this thing where we keep the same shitty fucking toxic people around that have hurt us, continue to hurt us both indirectly and directly, and who have let us down time and time again, because we continue clinging on to the fucking useless hope that “someday they’ll change”. someday, they’ll realize how fucking important you are to them and how shitty their lives are, and would be, without you in it.

you- we - also live by honesty and truthfulness, and assume others just live by this as well. but then you’re proved wrong over and over and over again, yet you never fucking learn your lesson because you are STILL hopeful that somewhere, somehow, deep down, other people DO stand by the morals you try so hard to stand by in life. most of the time, though, you’re completely avoiding the reality of other people and their experiences and who they really are, only to try to fit your own narrative of how you see things and how you think things should be.

if this sounds anything like you... i’m sorry. i know it all too well.

i grew up as the “golden child” in my family. not just my immediate family. my entire fucking family. the pressure to be perfect has lead me to develop debilitating anxiety in my 20′s, and it is what it is, but like, why the fuck couldn’t i have anxiety in high school like a normal teenager? why now?

so yeah my anxiety’s pretty bad. it’s pretty bad tonight, which is why i turned here. to tumblr. to try to write out my thoughts. which, by the way, i’m sorry, because this is an absolute fucking mess and makes no sense. if you are reading this, though, thank you. thank you for listening when no one else seems to.

anyway. growing up with the pressure of being *perfect* has a cost. at least for me it did: 1) anxiety of course, and 2) perfectionist tendencies. these have literally- LITERALLY - ruined my entire college and graduate school experience. perfectionism combined with anxiety is a recipe for fucking disaster, and i’ve been cooking it for years.

i am deliberately writing this without proper punctuation/grammer/whateverthefuckyouwanttocallit, not capitalizing my letters etc., because i want to not have to be so perfect all the time on here, if this is something i’m going to stick to. i know that sounds silly but it’s actually been very difficult for me to write in all lower-caps and i’m very worried that no one will even read this and HEAR ME because of my literacy negligence (i have no idea if that’s even a real thing or if it even has meaning but it sounded right)

do u want to know why i decided to write this though, truly? what lead to me feeling like i’m “spiraling” - apart from no sleep in over 24 hours now? well, get ready to laugh, because i truly think i’m pathetic and going crazy.

i went to dinner tonight with my boyfriend and his fam. our waitress was a girl i used to know years ago in high school. my boyfriend knew her too. in fact, he knew her VeRY well. for the sake of my anxious overthinking, i don’t feel like going too much into the details of *that* situation, so thanks in advance for understanding.

anyway. this corny bitch made a joke about the current political environment. i won’t say what exactly, because i’d really like to keep my identity as concealed as absolutely possible on here. but long story short, no one really laughed - every one just kinda smiled awkwardly. but you know who did laugh? my boyfriend :)

TO ME, it seemed intentional. she wasn’t fucking funny, for one. she made a bad - no, a very bad- joke. like one of those corny dad jokes. not even a dad joke actually. a step-dad joke, except your step-dad is a loser that you hate, who treats ur mom/dad bad, has no sense of humor or a horrible sense of humor and idk, just fucking sucks you know ???

sorry that got kinda dark and it was unnecessary but do u know what i mean??? and no, that was literally not relevant to me or my family system/structure in any way. just kinda came to me, ya know? ...writing works in mysterious ways man

alright so if you don’t agree, that’s fine. i already told you to get ready to laugh, because i am well aware of how insane i fucking sound. but you know what makes anxiety & perfectionism 100x harder to cope with? insecurities. and i’m FULL of them.

so anyway. we left dinner. him & i were driving home. i will admit that i did have some wine at dinner, and i wasn’t drunk but i definitely was feeling cocky enough to stir the pot with him. so, i casually said, “hey... didn’t you date _____?” *insert annoying waitress’s name who i knew once upon a time*

i said it very calmly. very coooool. v collected and nice. he said “no? i’ve never even talked to or hungout with that girl”.

i wish u could see my face as i’m writing this right now bc i cannnot. like i gave u a choice.... the opportunity. tHE SIMPLE opportunity - a chance - to be fucking honest................................

this dude. straight up. lied to my face. about this fucking girl. ???????

YEARS AGO, they most certainly did talk. a lot. in fact, my crAZy ass searched their names on facebook to find their old little love notes to each other that they posted on each others’ walls. which were very cringey but nothing that made me feel jealous or insecure (for once). after all, they were from years ago- i’m talking 5+ - so likeeee.... why would he lie (:

oh and they definitely did hang out because.... i remember clearly.... a PICTURE OF THE two of them *together* *hangin* (prob bangin too) (sorry) years ago in this now-waitress’s bedroom. i believe it was a ~webcam photo~ that they took on the new mac computer her parents prob bought her. so this photo is now NO WHERE to be found. and believe me, i looked. no, i LURKED. i went to the beginnnning of her instagram posts and deep into her uploaded facebook pictures. ok, not ‘deep’, i literally got to the first pic she ever posted on FB just to try to find this damn picture. and it took me for. fucking. ever. because this bitch has prolly posted a million pictures in the last 5+ years like who does that???

but i swear to fucking whatever the fuck that this picture exists. i have fucking seen it. i’d describe it in perfect detail right now as if i saw it today, but, once again, i’m concealin my identity, yo, so i can’t do all that. v sorry

anywho. this dude - who i call my boyfriend (and yes i love him very very much and our past is absolutely fucked but that’s a whole other story for a very different time) - had the nerve, the audacity, to tell me to my face, that he “definitely doesn’t have a picture with her” because “they’ve never hung out or talked before” ... ?!??????

obv i sent him screenshots of the dirt i dug up on facebook from 5+ years ago (i.e., the old posts between them in case ya forgot during my rambling) bc like, caught ya in a lie sir. red handed.

i might be late on mentioning this part, but here’s the fucking kicker (and i’ve never used that phrase and i don’t know why i said that but ok?): TODAY, for the first time in MONTHS, literally!!!, bc of the virus and the quarantine and all that, i got ready today for dinner with his family. like actually got ready. i spent HOURS doing my make up. i don’t even remember the last time i did my make up, ok. i dressed in a really cute outfit. i felt fucking very good about myself. i thought for sure when he’d come pick me up to go to dinner he’d at least say something. at least acknowledge it. he has literally only seen me in raw form for too many days now. like, complete bare face and sweat pants basically every day since march.

but. did he even look at me twice?!!? no. did he mention anything about how i looked? how it was drastically different from my everyday attire the last couple months? did he take 2 seconds out of his day to say something corny or flirty to me? even just, “you look beautiful”??? honestly i would’ve even appreciated, “you look beautiful, for once” ???

did u guess the correct answer? well if u didn’t, it’s N O.

but u know who he did look at twice.

our waitress at dinner.

i think i wrote enough for one night. if u think this is my anxiety/perfectionism/insecurities combination spiraling out of control after being tamed incessantly for 20+ years, PLZ TELL ME.

but also, if you have a fucking brain, you’d know that:

1) this is definitely NOT the first time i’ve responded to something like this the way i did, and

2) i really just needed to ramble on and vent about all the shit that’s been going through my mind the last 2 1/2 hours, so there’s that.

have a good night get some sleep!!! thank u for ur time.

#why #me #cantsleep #upfor24hours #adderall #waitress #insecure #perfect #anxiety #sorry #helpme #help #needsleep #dontwanttotho #goodnight #getsomerest #ily #thanku

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nikatyler · 5 years

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Oooh boy. Why do I feel like I should go straight to the replies, or else I will start talking about having a crush again? No one cares, I’m annoying, I’m sorry. Yesterday around midnight, I actually caved and told my best friend because I just couldn’t keep my feelings to myself any longer, and I was pleasantly surprised by her reaction. I didn’t want to tell her at first because we kinda tend to turn this kind of stuff into jokes, but I guess she did figure out that this time, it’s serious serious - THERE WE GO I’M OVERSHARING AGAIN I AM AN IDIOT. Anyway did I mention I love her? I don’t deserve her. She’s the best, you guys don’t even know her but I just wanted to give her a little shoutout because damn, thanks for yesterday, I thought I would explode. Also, she has an important exam in a week, so if you could send positive vibes her way, that would be great.

By the time you’re seeing this replies, I think I’m playing with Realm of Magic. I’m so excited! Last time I bought a pack on release day was with Seasons. I’m not sure who I will play this with yet. Maybe with Lucian and his girlfriend. I really hope you can somehow turn an alien into a spellcaster, even if that means he’d no longer be an alien. I don’t mind that. Whoops, hold on, was that a spoiler? Yeah, uh, Lucian is a teenager in my game at the moment, he has a girlfriend and he’s not very alien-y and I don’t care about that. Honestly…when have my aliens ever been alien-y? Miracle was the only one and she hated that (and 2019 Ronnie hates that she hated that but 2017 Ronnie didn’t know any better, long story).

Witches are something I’ve wanted in this game for a long time, so they better be good or else I’ll cry. Next up…I know everyone wants university, and I think we’ll get it, but to be fair, I don’t care about it that much. I’ll be playing university irl so I guess that makes sense. 😂 I would really like something like a band game pack, where you can form a band and have concerts and write music and…just do musician stuff, I guess. I was hoping bands would be added in Get Famous but nah, it was pretty much just acting…which I still haven’t explored. 🤦‍♀️ But yeah, band game pack is like my dream. I’m guessing it could be retro themed too, and have many references to some iconic bands?? Imagine if it was like 70s-80s inspired. Imagine THE HAIR. Did I mention I will defend weird 80s hair until the day I die? Yeah. I would really love that. I’m not saying I think a pack like this will happen, but it would be an absolute dream if it did.

TL;DR: I have a crush, I’m playing Realm of Magic and I want a band themed game pack.

autistichatkid replied to your post “Oh wow guess who’s putting nsb on long lifespan because even though…”

psa: you can use mccc to customize lifespan length!!! i dont like how fast normal goes but long is like. So Long. so i use mccc to make everything just a Lil Longer

I know you can do that, I don’t know how but it’s possible, yes! I’m not sure if I want to go for that though, I mean MCCC breaks with almost every update and knowing me, I would forget to fix my settings every single time. I think I’ll just use ea’s long lifespan and then age up people when I feel like aging them up.

desira-sims replied to your post “hey years ago you said you liked symphonic metal, do you still listen…”

Care to share some of your favorites? I’ve been in a music listening mood but feel in a rut.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “hey years ago you said you liked symphonic metal, do you still listen…”

I also don’t listen to e. g. often nowadays and… Their latest album was not my cup of tea except for song or two. And my music preference is now “whatever pleases my ears” even if it will make anyone else’s ear bleed��

Yeah sure, I can share my faves from 2-3 years ago! I’m not saying “from the genre” because I know some of these aren’t that symphonic, at this point it’s all a blur to me, to be fair. Besides, I stopped caring about genres, so…yeah. Just pointing that out so no one comes for me like “how dare you say band xy is that genre”.

Anyway, 2-3 years ago I really loved Nightwish, Within Temptation and Sonata Arctica, those were like my holy trinity, I would listen to them all the time, every single day. The latest WT album wasn’t really my cup of tea, I like their older stuff way more. SA released a new album last week, I kinda liked it but it wasn’t love at first listen. I’ll have to go back to form an opinion on it. Again, their older stuff is better in my opinion. Nightwish…I don’t know if it’s still going on, but people really liked comparing the three different singers they’ve had, and I don’t know why, I think they’re all amazing in their own way. I believe I’ve read on Instagram that new album is coming next year and I’m so excited for that. I don’t think there’s a Nightwish album I disliked.

I also really liked Delain and…Stratovarius, I think it was called? One summer I also listened to Epica a lot, but then all their songs started sounding the same to me. Sorry to any Epica fans that might be following me 😅 And I’m fairly sure I’m forgetting someone, but I believe there should be playlists on Spotify easy to find.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “Updates”

Unfortunately I didn’t manage to create a possible spouse(( but I hope there’ll be other possibilities!XD

And good luck!

There definitely will be! Lately, I kinda hate every sim I create, sooo…I’ll leave that for someone else :D

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “That morning, when Vanessa was leaving for work, I had a bad feeling….”

I don’t like this!

I didn’t think this would freak people out so much…but it did…and I’m really sorry :D

1o8percent replied to your photoset “Roxanne: Maybe if I go to bed, it’ll just come to me in a dream. I…”

I’ve definitely had story ideas come to me in a dream. I got several ideas for my completed legacy that way, so good luck Roxanne!

When I’m writing something late at night and I get stuck, it actually helps me to turn off the computer and go think about the story in bed. And ta-da, I suddenly get ideas! Some of them get lost as soon as I fall asleep, but usually the right direction stays in my head and I’m ready to pick it up as soon as I sit down to write again.

igglemouse replied to your photoset Roxy, the interaction said “feel tummy”, not “take the baby out of…”

She just can’t wait to meet her new sibling XD

That’s actually terrifying D:

brightlysimming replied to your post “I got a hug from a girl I barely know and now I’m emo, I already love…”

Aa!! That’s so great! I’m happy you had a good time!!

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “I got a hug from a girl I barely know and now I’m emo, I already love…”

Congratulations! I hope you’ll have fun there! ��

I’m still not over that last weekend. Everyone was so nice and kind and fun and I loved talking to these people so much, uni will be great with them ;-;

The best surprise to me was that there was this person, and they would come to me a few times and ask if I wanted to hang out with them away from the drunk crowds?? (we’re Czech, of course 95% of people who went to that trip got drunk in the evening -_- :D) And that was just so nice? I’m not used to people wanting to hang out with me. Also, we had great time together, if they called now I would quit everything to hang out with them :D

I’m about to start crying again. To all you lonely people struggling out there, trust me, it gets better, you’re not always going to be lonely and miserable. I thought that would be my case, but nope, things are starting to look better. And they will eventually start looking better for you too, I just know it. Don’t give up <3

lilleputtu replied to your photoset “*whispers* guys i wanna chop sunset’s hair off”

she’d look so cute with short hair! also it’s the sims, she can insta regrow it it’ll be fiiiiine

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “*whispers* guys i wanna chop sunset’s hair off”

One of the best things I ever did was put Cassandra Goth in a pixie cut. Doooo eeeet.

autistichatkid replied to your photoset “*whispers* guys i wanna chop sunset’s hair off”

��

deathflowertea replied to your photoset “*whispers* guys i wanna chop sunset’s hair off”

1 & 4 are ��

I think it’s official, we’ll be chopping Sunset’s hair off, yay!

desira-sims replied to your photoset “Meet the Teens! These guys will join my two girls, Crystal and…”

School and real life comes first, but I’ll be excited to see these simmies pop up when the time comes. ��

So am I! I’m not sure what to do right now. I want to play RoM, but when I come back to my NSB…do I finish Sunset’s generation requirements first, or do I just slowly start throwing these teens in? Kind of like I started working on Ross’s aspiration when it was technically still the Mint gen. Eh, I’ll figure it out.

tashsim replied to your post “URL Song Tag”

have to get up at 5:30 for a next month. feel your pain..

That’s not great D: I think I’d have to do that too, if I wasn’t moving to a dorm in Prague later this month. Spending so much time on the train and having to wake up so early would kill me.

elisabettasims replied to your post “Ahh, of course. I kinda forgot that I would get tan in summer, today I…”

I feel this on a personal level.

I kinda never had to deal with this before because I’ve been using foundation only for a year or so. And I’m fairly sure I’m using a lighter one now, because I definitely didn’t feel like a vampire last September :D

toxoplasmajuice replied to your photoset “Scarlett: “I saw you helped extinguish the flames too.” Talia: “I…”

talia… wyd

toxoplasmajuice replied to your photo “Scarlett: “Well, uhh, you didn’t mess up, so…” Talia: “I’ll stay, but…”

TALIA… WYD

toxoplasmajuice replied to your photo “Meanwhile the contestants who have nothing to worry about gathered…”

talia you might be safe this time but you definitely should NOT be thinking you have nothing to worry about after… Earlier

I hate how this turned out D: I’ve noticed that sims in my game aren’t fond of the “enthuse about…” interactions. And then it ruins things like this.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “Madeleine: “Yes! Did you see that? Today must be my lucky day!”

Don’t boast too much, love!

She’s really doing great though! Maybe she didn’t make the best first impression, but she’s been working really hard ever since.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “We didn’t start the fire It was always burning Since the world’s been…”

What’s the name of the song? I love everything connected to fireXD

It’s “We Didn’t Start The Fire” by Billy Joel! Warning: It’s super catchy.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “I absolutely fell in love with these cute pants some time ago but I…”

I think I will overuse these pants now:D So thank you for introducing them in the first place:D And for shoutout!

I was glad to help! And… I remember those girls!

Thank youuu! I’m a “high waisted everything” kinda girl, so of course I had to recolour these so I could use them even more often. And I’m glad that I’m not the only one, I mean, the reblogs and likes on this post are insane.

And yay, glad you remember them! Juliet and Amber were easier to recognize, I guess, but the other two, Lily and Lavender…I haven’t posted them too much, ever. I forgot how pretty they were *-* I will definitely use them as my models for recolours and stuff.

dandylion240 replied to your post “I didn’t expect to come up with a whole backstory for Caleb and…here…”

I like your ideas for him though

Thank you so much! I’ve been seeing him on my dash a lot lately, so it’s kinda weird seeing like three different versions of him at once, especially when someone makes him do things my version of him would never do :D

whysimstho replied to your photoset “There you go…some gen 3 moments with no context. Good luck figuring…”

#5 Sunset signs here dad up for Simdr #6 it’s lit

1o8percent replied to your photoset “There you go…some gen 3 moments with no context. Good luck figuring…”

I’m intrigued by the last one.

desira-sims replied to your photoset “There you go…some gen 3 moments with no context. Good luck figuring…”

I don’t approve of the second one. No tears! I’ll gladly take more of the 4th and get the feeling she’s a little tired of seeing it all the time. Fire is also bad, but I guess the conversation was to good to stop. And that last one. Oh that’s great.

dandylion240 replied to your photoset “There you go…some gen 3 moments with no context. Good luck figuring…”

Why is Ross crying? Nothing better have happened to Caleb

*evil laughter*

I love how you guys assume the worst. I mean, I’m not surprised. I tend to accidentally kill my sims a lot this year. Well, you’ll find out very soon what is actually going on in these!

Also, just a side note, that child in picture #4 is Lucian and he’s not a girl, but I will admit he looks like one (and I’m fairly sure he knows that too and is okay with that, I mean, if he didn’t want to look like that, he’d beg for a haircut), so no worries. Just throwing it out there.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “Oh, try to do Salim Benali!”

Aw he looks adorable! It makes me love him even more,

elisabettasims replied to your post “Oh, try to do Salim Benali!”

Salim is hard because he’s already pretty good looking, etc. He’s the dad of one of my sims who I did a BC with and founded my legacy on her, LOL(Anissa Hoffmann, she has her mom’s last name). Though I guess REALLY Salim and her mother are the founders but, I didn’t start a legacy until after her BC.

I agree, he’s definitely one of the few miracle townies who don’t need fixing.

Also, thank you!

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Ugh, I hate this already. Can I go back to being an adorable evil…”

You can be an adorable evil child instead!

Oh, she will be.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Gwyneth: “Ready to age up, sweetie?” Avery: oh mum you bet”

Why is Gwyneth so cute I can’t even describe it!

Her cute face is the only reason why I thought “well, I could try a BPR I guess…”

Seriously. I’ve never really cared about berries, I’ve always prefered vanilla sims and berries were just something I created in cas from time to time and then never touched again. I still prefer vanilla sims and kinda doubt I’ll ever start another berry save.

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Right…so now you’re a middle aged mum with a midlife crisis and a…”

I HATE THAT STUPID HAIR AND HOW IT SHOWS UP ON EVERYONE WHEN THEY AGE UP. *coughcough* Sorry. Had a bad flashback seeing that.

I hate it so much too! But actually, wanna hear a deep dark secret? I once used it on a sim…unironically. Like I actually thought it was cute.

I was 11 though, so that makes it okay, I think. I hope.

#replies #autistichatkid #desira-sims #tiny-tany-thaanos #1o8percent #igglemouse #brightlysimming #lilleputtu #elisabettasims #deathflowertea #tashsim #toxoplasmajuice #dandylion240 #whysimstho

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altonadventures · 6 years

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ALTON ADVENTURES BIG ANNOUNCEMENT

So...because its Friday and I usually update AA on Fridays, I figured it was time to make my big announcement!

And that is...that Alton Adventures is changing. A little bit.

Am I rebooted the comic again? No haha! Once I get back to it it shall continue as normal but some characters may look a bit different going forward.

Who may those characters be?

Sir Gareth Nemesis

Why is he changing?

Sir Nemesis’ change is actually less drastic than one may think. For starters, he needed a design rehaul. I wanted his armor to be more simple, easier to draw but with still details that could tie him to Nemesis (the green eye, the arms, the light pink details instead of inconsistent tentacles). I also had an issue where his hair was too close to his skin color, so to combat this I turned him into a ginger! His eye color also changed from gold to green, another thing to visually tie him more to Nemesis.

So yes, I changed Sir Nem’s design because I was unhappy with it. His armor was never drawn consistently ever, I was constantly changing the tone of his hair and his skin so that was inconsistent. I want my designs to be more consistent and polished going forward.

What else is different? Well, you can probably tell he looks much more serious, like in older pictures I drew of him. Why is that? Well, I was kind of..honestly tired of his role as the “dad character tm” that he kind of turned out to be. It almost undermined his true characterization and turned him into a typical over the top exaggerated hero character. And I started to realize how much I missed his original concept. A battle hardened solider that was filled with regret and remorse, who heavily sympathizes with the plight of the alien he’s locked in combat with. He’s still much a father however, as he has a biological son and adopts an alien who mimics his likeness (hence another reason he’s a ginger now as his Nemesis daughter always was one). He’s just returned to his roots as a character. Because I felt that characterization was a unique one for the Nemesis ride. And it was an idea I really loved. Sir Nemesis actually WAS one of my favorite characters...I wanted his role to be much larger than it is in the comics. I don’t blame anyone for him becoming a joke, I did initially kind of fuel the fire for it, I’m just hoping that its not to late to get back to the Sir Nemesis I originally wanted to write. And of course, all my characters are still meme and joke worthy. I just want to tackle much more serious issues with my comic and show the more serious side of some of my characters and don’t want there entire existence to be a joke Mr.S can’t have too many folks 1 uping him in the laughs department! I guess to note with this change that his original voice claim has also been solidified as well. It’s a more somber and serious tone that I feel fits him as a character.

Final Notes

Sir Nemesis is a character that I have a lot of thought put into. His backstory is tragic, emotional, and his character is complex and he’s not the perfect hero people might image him as. I plan for his Arc to follow the Fireworks arc in the comic, as well as I am planning to start some more text heavy short stories about how the Secret Weapons became Secret Weapons (which I will likely call Secret Weapon Short Stories hehe) and will be writing his first. Also a very important thing i must address. Yes, the eye on his chest moves. (I have a gif but it doesn’t want to work on this post Ill have it up later ><)

Erica Annabelle Cloud

ooof okay this is a huge one. Confession time. Erica was always my least favorite character. Why? She just had...no character. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with her, her design felt phoned in and there because I needed an Air/Galatica character, (yes, she is changing as her Galatica stage too). She was just. not well thought out. She had a dual identity but I think a lot of people didn’t pick up on that? She felt like a Rita 2.0 as just a nice and friendly optimistic person and literally had 0 backstory. Originally she was supposed to have had some sort of accident that turned her into Galatica and she had memory loss and forgotten about when she was Air, yeah it was a mess. That eventually just turned into Nebula Corona being a character she made up (bc her one trait was that she was into space and wrote a lot) that she played as when her rides themeing changed.

She was just..barely a character and her design was abysmal (Her Galatica suit was okay but her Air outfit was an afterthought) She needed a massive visual upgrade. A sleeker flight suit that makes more sense (I used a ref or two for this design!) A different face shape to help her stand out more, my signature they wear glasses they have dot eyes look. Long, wispy, flowing hair to resemble those trails planes make. A bit more lanky and tall. And let me tell you I LOVE her design now. It looks so much more unique and you can just SEE she has so much more character now! As for her characterization im going full into her being a nerd. A very tech nerd at that! She designed her suit to help her fly at her best, and eventually will be the one that designs and builds all her Galatica tech! Her Galatica design hasn’t been done yet, mostly bc I wanted to focus on her current comic canon design, but not much would change I feel with her upgrade anyways! She is effectively the brains of the group, and the others often turn to her for plans of attack when dealing with a situation, or innovative solutions to problems! I have yet to get a voice claim for her, but im sure one will come to me soon enough!

Final Notes

Erica/Nebula was a character I struggled to connect with. Everyone else had Airs that were either super plot important, or just much more cool and creative in general. I felt, that with my Air/Galatica she was just there, and I wanted her to be more. So a full character rehaul was done with her and it makes me so happy. She feels much more fleshed out, better designed, and I’m super excited to do more stuff with her, and hopefully you will all see her much more now that I’m a lot happier with her as a character! <3

Welp that's the end of the updates....wait. Hold on. I have something written here. What could this be? Oh! I remember now!

Black Hole, AkA Beatrix, will be joining the MAIN CAST of Alton Adventures!

When I drew my Black Hole design, I knew she was something special. She stands out compared to a lot of my characters, and her design SCREAMS main character. While the biggest main roles will still be held by Mr. S and Rita, I wanted to add another non SW coaster to the main crew, and because Canonically Corkscrew is MIA, Black Hole seemed like a fitting addition to the main crew! As she isn’t human, a species literally only referred to as Black Holes, I thought making her a main character and giving her a big arc would help flesh out the reality of non humans in Alton Adventures! Her powers and design and character and personality are just too fun to shove her into the background. I feel that adding her to the main cast gives them not only another character to support them, but a closer friend! You will all see her much more in the future for certain!

Well that's about it! In terms of comic updates themselves...its still going to be hiatus as long as I’m being swamped with school work. I hope you all understand. I’ll try to squeeze in updates over the breaks I have IF im not working on assignments for class. As I also said, I wanna do short stories as well, to expand the world and explain it better, as a comic will only develop the world so quickly and lots of you have tons of questions! I also wanna do something animated at some point, that’s my dream. I’ve ALSO mentioned to some people about merch, likely going for making stickers first since that's simple. I got an excited reaction for that so I’ll come up with designs for them soon! I just wanna do a lot with Alton Adventures, because I know how much it means to people, and of course it means so much. Goodness I really need to actually get to this park, I look quiet silly constantly gushing over a themepark I’ve never been to all the time XP That all aside I thank you all for sticking by me. I promise that even if I don’t do comic updates as frequently during the school year, I’ll still work to push out as much AA content I can outside of that! I’m always open to suggestions to what you guys want to see! ALSO, working on a big google doc spreadsheet with info on all the characters I’ll be posting when its more completed! So be on the lookout for that!

Again thank you to everyone who’s stuck with me through this, Your support makes me feel nothing but proud of what I’ve created. These characters may have been created out of something some may consider silly or odd, but the only thing that matters to me if that I can make at least someone happy with what I create.

Patreon (note that patrons got to see all of this content as it was being worked on!) l Ko-fi

#gonna probably post the images all in image posts later #for now have this #alton towers #alton adventures #nemesis #air #i like totally redid forbidden valley didnt i huh #sir gareth nemesis #beatrix #odin miller #mr. s #rita ferraro #erica cloud #esther forest #big update #long post

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ladyloveandjustice · 7 years

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Wisdom and War: An Athena Cykes Mix

Art given to me by the amazing @diloolie

And charge in head on/ I will be your shield/Go ahead and release the goddess inside you!/(In every star, in ever moon, in every vena, there lives Athena)

A mix for Athena Cykes, a revolutionary girl who outshines the moon.

Play on Playmoss

Play on 8tracks

Finishing replaying Dual Destinies and getting some amazing art from diloolie inspired me to finally make an Athena mix! I may have gotten...a bit carried away. Can u believe I was worried about not finding enough songs...ANYWAY. Even if you don’t know Ace Attorney, this makes for a great kick-butt mix to get you motivated (save for a couple subdued sad songs at the beginning).It’s a mix that pretty much screams “LET’S DO THIS!” as Athena would say.

Lyrics, annotations and translations under the cut!

Athena- PRETTY SELF EXPLANATORY. I was so pumped to discover this song at the last minute. I was actually alerted to it thanks to a sweet Athena amv that came up in my youtube suggestions- check it.

The moment is right/So don't wait/Get ready to fight/When I say/Break free of the chains/That hold you back/React. And plan your attack

Brace yourself and run into the battlefield/Move on/Don't falter/Plan your pursuit/And charge on and head on I will be your shield /Go on/Release the goddess inside you In every star/In every moon /In every vena/There lives Athena

They Know My Name- a song for Athena’s trauma and PTSD. It also fits for how she can get overwhelmed hearing everyone’s emotions.

Her panic attacks being highly visible- can also refer to how Widget tends to recite her thoughts:

All of my noise in the air/My thoughts can be seen from everywhere

Panic attacks, PTSD:

These wars that I fight from within/I don't know where they end and I begin I try/ I try to calm them down/But these thoughts they keep spinning/Round and round, round and round/These monsters are hiding within my brain/They roar and they shout and they know my name

Goodnight Little Robot Child- Young Athena, living in the space center among robots, unable to tell the difference between them and humans

Goodnight little robot child/Close your eyes go to sleep tight/ little robot child/Starmans waiting for/You've been running around with your robot friends/And your battery's feeling so low

Little Me- Athena looking back on her younger self. "I was a shaking and scared little girl, small and ineffectual.... Even after I went to live with my relatives in Europe, I stayed closed up in my shell. “

Voice so quiet you don't hear a word/Always talking but she can't be heard/You can see it there if you catch her eye/I know she's brave but it's trapped inside/Scared to talk but she don't know why

Wish I knew back then/What I know now/Wish I could somehow Go back in time and maybe listen to my own advice/I'd tell her to speak up, tell her to shout out/Talk a bit louder, be a bit prouder

Yellow Halo- Athena dealing with the death of her mother. I consider this to be from Metis’s POV in a way. This song is actually about dealing with the loss of a mother, so it fits really well.

Metis dying:

I rose to the moon, Wearing all white

Metis wears a “yellow halo” now, and those colors are passed on to Athena Athena wears yellow, shining brightly and kindly:

Yellow halo/all your colors/yellow halo/for a queen/yellow halo/bequeathed

Metis lives on through Athena, who carries on her legacy, wearing the moon earring her mother made for her and bringing hope to everyone:

Seasons change/the moon’s still here/dawn breaks endlessly

Hope on Fire: Athena making her vow to be heard and to save Simon, no matter what the cost (yes i know i use this song a lot in mixes, IT’S A GREAT SONG OKAY) “That’s because one day, I came to realize that I had to fight. I couldn’t give up"

gotta fight gotta strike/'cause there's no turning away/from what you don't want to know/

ooh you're gonna make your mark this time/ooh you're gonna set your hope on fire/gotta leave gotta bleed/you've gotta stop lying still/'cause this is no kind of life

we're coming closer now to the truth

Akatsuki no Hana: "I couldn’t give up. I exercised hard and I studied hard. I wanted to become the strongest lawyer I could be.”

I’ll tear the doubt out of my mind/because with the strength inside me/I’ll leave the girl I was behind

Breaking through to the sky with the strength to survive/feel the dawn break through toy your heart/Chasing the skies, I’ll find a brighter day/Tear through the lies/I’m who I wanna be/you won’t take my courage away

Bravado: “What was Athena like as a child? ”She didn’t talk very much” “That’s completely different from the Athena we know now!” "I was so surprised! She was like a completely different person, so cheerful and happy!”

All my life, I've been fighting a war/I can't talk to you or your friends/It's not only you/My heart jumps around when I'm alluded to/This will not do

But when you're withdrawn, it's the closest thing to assault when all eyes are on you/This will not do/I'm faking glory/Lick my lips, toss my hair/And turn the smile on/And the story's brand new/But I can take it from here/I'll find my own bravado

Me Against the World- Athena refusing to give up on Simon even as he’s all obstinate and ready to change the courtroom

okay, with this line how could I resist:

Simon says to pack it up

Even the LA references work if you consider Japanifornia (though honestly I can never think of AA as actually taking place in LA...just a weird alternate Japan where everyone has english names. BUT I DIGRESS)

They said don't try to change the world/You're just a girl/So it's me against the world today/I'm gonna do it my own way/And though nobody understands/I'm gonna make a one girl stand

Give a Reason- full translation here. Lyrics also in the playmoss vid. Very fitting for Athena, who charges ahead and looks for answers

There's an "answer" somewhere for sure /The answer for why we were born/.../I'm not afraid of getting hurt!/But I'm not strong in any way for feeling that /Simply, I just can’t do nothing/I don't wanna be regretting myself! /Here we go! go! I'll keep running /I won't be stopped by anybody!

Dakara: My Hero Academia and Athena go together so well.

“I didn’t have anybody to support me at first, either. I couldn’t face the fear inside me, couldn’t get over the trauma of my past. “

“ It sure feels nice to be part of a great group like this! I just want to say I really love working here with all you fabulous people!”

How come I am the only one to always face a hurricane?/Back then I used to think it all so meaningless (was so alone)/But everything began to change

Again we’re crying but trying/To prove we can overcome it/I know that we’ll rise above it each and every time/(Everything will be fine!)/I’ll reach for your hand,Yeah, my friend,You are not alone this time

One Girl Revolution- The courtroom Revolutionaire! “Let’s revolutionize this stodgy institution!”

And I'll be everything that I want to be/I am confidence in insecurity/I am a voice yet waiting to be heard/I'll shoot the shot /Bang/That you hear round the world/And I'm a one girl revolution

See Me Now- “ Then that’s a win for me– No, a win for analytical psychology! “

That I've been hesitating so long, so long/Somebody turn out the light./Cause right now must be my time to shine/They said I couldn't, they told me that I wouldn't/But if they could see me now/They'd see I'm something, that I'm not scared of nothing/And the world will hear me shout

Odd Future

You love the contradiction shaking you/even when you fall take one step/you can breath again in one step/.../shaking off the rust in your soul/gotta rise from a dark history/.../but today I opened up my eyes and I feel alive

Everything at Once- In the DLC, Athena said she wanted to be strong enough to fight a whale, and suddenly I realized this was perfect for her. She dreams big and wants to be everything and I love her.

As pretty as a picture hanging from a fixture/Strong like a family, strong as I wanna be/Bright as day, as light as play/As hard as nails, as grand as a whale/All I wanna be, all I wanna be, oh/All I wanna be is everything

The Prayer- “Why do you turn everything into a competition?” Athena’s go getter competitiveness is everything.

Let me outshine the moon/Is it so wrong to crave recognition?/Second best, runner-up/Is it so wrong to want rewarding?/To want more than is given to you?

Tonight make me unstoppable/And I will charm, I will slice/I will dazzle them with my wit

Peace sign- “She flashed a peace sign at me. “Congratulations on your acquittal,” she said. [...]But I saw her eyes. They were red and swollen from crying. She’s gotta be suffering! She must be so worried! And yet she went out of her way to be nice and give me that big smile!”

Although your eyes are red, you’ll never cry again/ no I’ll be the smile that you need and I won’t go/Theme to be a hero, just remember to sing/Say goodbye and I’ll leave with a peace sign

Voice of the heart- “Let me hear the voice of you heart!”

If you listen long enough/If you dream it strong enough/A door inside will open/And a light will flood the dark/Like a song too long unsung/Or a soul forever young/We all will find an answer/In the voice of the heart

I’m a Believer- Athena charging ahead with people cheering her on ‘"It’s not over yet, Thena. Even now at this very moment, I still believe in you! I know you better than most people, Thena. And I know you’d never surrender to the dark age of the law ”

It’s not easy to keep going – motivation’s running thin/I know my dream’s unrealistic … No, I don’t need reminding/In these moments, under pressure, when you feel it closing in/You’re the one - be the one to believe in

I keep searching for an answer/But I can’t keep it together Does anybody know what path I should take?/I won’t hesitate/Because this dream that I’ll create, it cannot be misguided/By simple regret, and thoughts of “what if”/So, I’ll take my next step, but if you were to cheer me on,I’d soar beyond that boundary

Young Volcanoes- “Well, nobody's going to try harder than me! So you'd better watch out, Apollo! Simon is free, thanks to Mr. Wright... ...but there are so many more people out there who need our help!”

Tonight, the foxes hunt the hounds/It's all over now/Before it has begun/We've already won/We are wild/We are like young volcanoes

Sora ni- Look, Athena and MHA just really go well together. I was always telling you guys sh’s part shonen hero part magical girl.

“Well, I knew that if I didn’t get your sentence overturned fast, you’d be executed! So I studied and studied. I was frantic! I’m so glad I made it in time! ………… Just barely… but I still made it! “

Every time you cry/Make it so It only makes you stronger/Cut straight through the illusion/And soar from the confusion/To a Blue-Sky Revolution/Can't forsake the future when it's this bright/So give the fight/All your might

Sunadokei: translation here. “Thatta girl, Athena. It’s good to see you finally let your tears out. “

I just continue on living /Questioning its meaning... /A correct answer just doesn't exist /So I just raise my head and keep walking

Resignation without restraint, memories/If you regret it and cry, that is fine /But even so, the tomorrow that is created will /Overflow with merciless love/.../Turn those broken tears into strength

Courtroom revolutionaire- obviously.

#athena cykes #ace attorney #my fanmix #fanmix #kizuki kokone #kokone kizuki #playmoss

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jake-marshall · 7 years

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Top 7 ships

I was tagged by @wanderingthroughwickford to do this. I wanted to also add Top 7 ships I don’t like lol but I’ll keep the salt to myself (for once). Right now my main fandom is Ace Attorney so all my ships will come from that. In sort-of order, random notes added if need be. -Diego Armando/Mia Fey (Miego - although Pearl!Mia or Maya!Mia/Godot really icks me out. This pairing is amazing and crushing all at once. I remember the first time I played Trials and Tribulations... like, real talk I can’t tell you many other times I cried so much over a pairing, but Miego destroyed me so I keep coming back FOR MORE.) -Jake Marshall/Angel Starr (Starrshall; I only like this post - RIse From the Ashes though. There’s something about the circumstances that bring them together when I don’t think they would have really been friends, otherwise, that really gets to me.) -Bobby Fulbright/Simon Blackquill (Blackbright. and i don’t consider this interchangeable with Phantomquill at all. But um, if you’ve followed my blog for .3 seconds, you know my feelings on Blackbright) -Datz Are’bal/Dhurke Sahdmadhi (DADS - I don’t think I ever shipped a ship in AA as fast as I started shipping them; their bond is remarkable, even if you don’t ship them. They’re just awesome together. Can be cute, funny, angsty, sexy, you name it; I just adore them.) -Klavier Gavin/Daryan Crescend (KlavDar; I don’t ship them happily-ever-after though, even in an AU where Turnabout Serenade doesn’t exist. Daryan/Ema is endgame for me in that, and as for Klavier, I honestly don’t ship him with anyone else. BUT I LOVE TO THINK OF HOW THEY FORMED THE GAVINNERS, ROSE TO STARDOM TOGETHER... hnggh and just frickin Daryan being a snarkmaster, there’s so much to love in this pairing for me.) -Maggey Byrde/Dick Gumshoe - (Magshoe? Gumbyrde? Idk, I don’t think there’s an official name for them. Anyway I think I am one of the few people who likes the idea of them not having kids and just raising a billion Missiles.) -Athena Cykes/Juniper Woods - (Junithena - What a pure, lovely pairing. Replaying Turnabout Academy a couple times really sold me on how wonderful they’d be as a couple) Honorable Mentions (aka an excuse for me to shout out to friends, about ships we enjoy together) -Franziska von Karma/Adrian Andrews - I’ve always liked them but @wanderingthroughwickford really got me to explore them on a deeper level, and they’re honestly The Perfect Couple. I think they’re also an excellent pairing, together and separately, to explore various mental health issues and I wish there was more content for them. -Lana Skye/Miles Edgeworth - This was my first ship when I started playing AA, and it turned out, beyond my expectation, to be @thecommoncoldkills ‘s first ship too. It’ll always be special to me. -Manov Mistree/Roger Retinz - I would hardly consider this a “ship” since in my head it’s ONE HUNDRED PERCENT one-sided and never comes to fruition in any sense. But there’s very few things that break my heart like the backstory I’ve given Mistree and his unfortunate fate of falling for someone who is completely incapable of making mature, healthy life choices. I’m so invested in this...whatever you wanna call it...Shipwreck? I tag anyone who wants to do this, but most especially @tsunderegrumbling, @thecommoncoldkills and @morpheusdreamt

#ace attorney

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