#reread them and just see if the medium might make a difference
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ik im talking a lot abt the books im reading rn (this is due to the fact that after eons of not having the time or energy i am once again reading books) but theydies i can happily announce that after 2 unsuccessful weapons and wielders books soulbrand has truly captured my enamoration once again i’m kissing keras lovingly and tenderly (the only way to kiss him)
#just got to the scene where he fights edria song & she's so sweet about it and he's so unintentionally flirtatious#ugh !!!!! babygirl <3#like dgmw theres nothing wrong w the first two but like they just haven't been for me#and its like there truly is no rhyme or reason as to why because i love keras i love dawn and reika absolutely#and i especially love seeing keras as . you know. keras. instead of as taelien (but taelien is my sweet angel forever so yk)#like its not like i prefer keras to t or anything i just like seeing his growth and his changing#so idk why the first two didnt like hook me as much as any of the other books within the universe#but anyway. soulbrand has gotten me thank god ! i think i should get the paperbacks for w&w to like#reread them and just see if the medium might make a difference#eventually i wanna own all the andrew rowe books but i do also have to prioritise cause i only have the first 2 aa books#and how to defeat a demon king i found that one second hand as like a library copy im p sure ??? which is cool#so anyway i wanna complete aa first and honestly i do also very much want to own wobm very dearly#but those ones are just for the collection of it all because i dont think i'll ever reread those physically i love the audiobooks too much#and i dont have That much annotating to do in those as opposed to the arcane ascension ones#and then we get into the shatter crystal legacy (not what its called cant right recall rn) of which . i think the second one is out#but anyway ive only read the first one but would love to have that one as well obv#ugh. i love this universe so much it truly is so captivating to me#recently read
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beautiful and horny
I recently reread one of my favorite essays, Everyone is Beautiful and No One is Horny, and posted a bit about it here. The difference between "beautiful" and "horny" (between "hot" and "sexy," as my bestie @nexility-sims puts it) is kind of difficult to explain in the abstract. So instead of just complaining, I thought it might be useful for me to try to explain how I've tried to depict sex and desire in my story.
Suggestion One: use close-ups to demonstrate desire
First off: I think the key to making something sexy isn't to show someone or something that is visually beautiful. Sexiness isn't about aesthetics, it's about desire. It's very easy to show the audience a beautiful person, harder to make clear that they are desirable. Desire isn't about seeing a beautiful person, it's about looking at them and noticing things about them, specific things. Desire often carries a little bit of objectification with it, and that's okay -- the problem is when someone is wholly objectified, made into a passive thing, a receptacle for desire rather than a person who is themselves desirable.
In this scene, I have two close-ups that emphasize Vivi's backless dress (and Julián's touch). She's wearing that backless dress the whole time, but we don't really notice it until the camera calls specific attention to it by moving in close. The zoom-in on the second shot intensifies what is already present in the first shot, creating a sense of escalation -- it's the same thing, twice in a row, but there is a sense that tension is building. Please also note that Julián is bare-handed, but all the Armoricans are all wearing gloves.
So, to show that someone is desirable, you need to show what the other character is noticing about them. This is happily pretty easy in a visual medium! The entire point of a close-up is to show the audience what they're meant to be noticing: the listening device hidden in the potted plant, the smudged handwriting in a suspect's passport, the curve of the love interest's spine in her backless dress. An effective close-up helps the reader see the character as their love interest does, helps them understand why that character is sexy.
(This doesn't need to be entirely physical! Skill and expertise are desireable traits...a close-up of a chef's hands as they lovingly prepare a meal for their beloved can express desire, as could a shot of an athlete clearing the bar in the high jump.)
Suggestion Two: sex is a thing you do with your mouth and hands
As a wise man once said in an interview about one of my favorite video games, "the thing about desire is that it’s stronger when it’s not totally satisfied."
A wide shot where you can see someone's entire naked body is like 50% sexy. A close-up where you can see part of their naked body is like 75% sexy. A close-up of someone's hands as they tug at the plunging neckline of their evening dress is all the way sexy.
Anything that makes your imagination go into overdrive to fill in the details is automatically going to be sexier than something where you see everything.
(see also: William Ware Theiss, one of the costume designers for Star Trek, who said, "the sexiness of an outfit is directly proportional to the perceived possibility that a vital piece of it might fall off.")
I make use of this a lot.
In this scene, there's a lot of chest on display, but when Vivi makes a pass at Julián, we're looking at their hands and not their bodies. This is another escalation, her touching him instead of the other way around. We're seeing her take the lead, which is sexy!!!
In this scene, we get mouths and hands in a single shot. In a wide shot, this moment of him feeding her ice cream might read as cute, but removed from context and zoomed in to just the mouth and hands, it becomes sensual.
Suggestion Three: Linger in the moment, let us see the reaction
A lot of the idioms related to sex and desire suggest a loss of control. Arousal is "getting hot and bothered," having sex is "giving in" to desire. It's not enough just to show something sexy, we also need to see the effect it's having on our characters. Don't be afraid to show your characters getting flustered, stammering, getting caught up in the moment. I think that people are sometimes a little embarrassed about including sex and want to show only the bare minimum. They want it to be sexy, but they also want it to be over and done with. These two desires are almost always at odds with one another -- if you want something to be sexy, don't be afraid to linger in the moment. Show the action, but more importantly, show the reaction.
In this scene, we don't need to see any naked bodies (or where exactly Emily's put her hands). It's enough to see Freddy getting progressively more worked up as they make out.
It's especially sexy to show a person who is ordinarily very controlled coming undone.
It's not hard to understand why this was my best-performing post of 2023. Leonor and Andre, both very buttoned-up and in-control people, can't keep their hands off of one another. The facade slips for both of them, they need one another more than they need to discuss whatever important thing they were supposed to be discussing.
Suggestion Four: If you aren't fully comfortable showing sex, you don't have to
Not a ton to say here, but I think it's an important point to end on. If you feel weird and awkward writing sex, downloading sexy poses, and taking sexy screenshots, you don't have to include those things in your story!
Sex positivity doesn't mean everyone's fucking all of the time, it means everyone is expressing the amount of sexuality they are comfortable with. I exclusively wrote erotica/smut for nearly a decade, I am very comfortable including sex in my story. But if that's not you, that's okay! You don't need to include anything you don't want to.
A Random Observation That Didn't Fit Anywhere Else
If you have a scene that features naked or nearly-naked characters that aren't meant to be sexy, you can do the opposite of these things to avoid sexualizing them. Show them in wide shots, don't zoom in close to emphasize any one part of their body, focus on things other than physical reaction -- I've got this whole scene with Leonor in a swimsuit but it's not really sexy in the context. We're not leering at her body, she just happens to be wearing a swimsuit because they're at the beach. Even the physical touch and intimacy in that scene isn't particularly sexy, the emphasis there is on the emotions.
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yk what to all those people who think the manga panels hit harder for the ep 12 of the dunmeshi anime here's my theory DO NOT READ IF YOU DONT WANT AN IN DEPTH ANALYSIS:
1) manga panels do not repeat that means that they have to be concentrated and well thought out to make the moment as gut wrenching as possible as can be, i have been rereading the resurrection scene to freshen up my memory and uh, look at that! no backgrounds! (the anime has those)
2) the grayscale does not distract from the moment that's a well known fact that's why older films seem sentimental, they had to put meaning in the actions not in the background (this is amplified in mute films where body language was the most important asset of an actor. as i previously stated there are no backgrounds or minimal anyways in the manga while the anime does have them here's a lil comparison (i took the anime clips from a reaction video)
the grayscale gave us not only a full focus on their faces but also a more *just cried* look from marcille that was replicated in the anime but they went too soft on that shade of red so she doesn't look as devastated, notice how the manga encapsulated the feelings of determination and doubt with the backgrounds
3) line weight is an important part of art as a medium, everyone can tell what a couple of lines can do visually for a scene now compare the marcille from the anime screen above with this one
i took a scene where she wasn't as gloomy for this to show the difference, the line weight of the anime doesn't compare even with a simpler scene.
4) the framing of the scenes is also quite different. As i said im watching the episode from a reaction video so im sorry if im missing pieces but the hair letting down scene might have disrupted the pacing of the scene, i do get why people wanted it in, in the manga it was an in-between scene, the kind of panel that readies to the seriousness of the next panels while in the anime we don't. What we have in the anime is a shot from behind (panoramic of the whole set up from a middle level, not quite eye level + marcille steps into the circle, we can see failin) then a quick one from the front (hair already loose and ambrosia framing her face) then the ritual starts.
in the manga we get 4 kinds of shots: front full body (hair shot), panoramic from high up, panoramic from down low and close up of the face (doubtful expression); so while it might have looked extra cool it wouldn't have fit, they have time slots and all they even have less shots before the ritual! also the vibes are different in the anime she looks more confident in the result even though her voice betrays her more than once. something obviously impossible in a manga.
THAT'S ALL, FOLKS
#ep 12#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#spoilers#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon spoilers#ep 12 spoilers#manga and anime comparison#analysis#/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\ rants#pls tell me#if u enjoyed it!#bye bye
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Things To Do If You Have Writers Block
A: Read that book you've wanted to get to or reread one of your favorites! Maybe you'll find some inspiration from the words. Yet even if you don't, analyze what about the book's writing style you like and don't like, then try to apply that to your own and see if anything flows better.
B: Plan the beginning, middle, and end of a story, and nothing more. Get as nonsensical as you want to! (EX: Start: A man finds a tree. Middle: The man brings the tree to life. End: The man becomes a bird so he can live in the tree.)
C: Change up your writing style to see if something new would help. Do you usually write in first person? Try writing in second. Do you usually write in second person? Try writing in first.
D: Come up with new small facts about your OC's or headcanons about your favorite character! (EX: What's their least favorite color? Do they believe in luck? What's their favorite soda?)
E: Write a few paragraphs about what your favorite character would be up to after the end of their story.
F: Think about your favorite media. Then, think about the thing you dislike most about that media. Write a ten step plan about how you would personally fix this problem if you were in charge.
More Undercut
G: Write a very non serious shitpost. Like…something so stupid that it isn't even worth putting real effort into.
H: Go engage with that one media that always makes you want to write something for it.
I: Focus on something for your story that isn't writing. Do you want to research something for your story to be more accurate? Focus on that for a bit and then come back to your writing.
J: Play the paragraph game with a friend! The paragraph game is when you write one paragraph of a story and your friend writes another.
K: Write a paragraph and then do something else. (EX: Write a paragraph and then read a chapter/page of a book. Write a paragraph and then walk a lap around your room. Write a paragraph and then doodle something on a sticky note.)
L: Think about your favorite lyric of all time. Then write a scene based on them.
M: Write about a day from your pets perspective. If you don't have a pet, write about a day from your favorite animals perspective.
N: Write something so embarrassingly self-indulgent that you'd never post it. That way, you won't feel the pressure of showing other people your writing, while also trying to write something you really enjoy.
O: Have a competition with yourself! See how many words you can write in the span of ten minutes over a week! You might surprise yourself.
P: Try a different medium of creativity and see if focusing on something else will get you unstuck. (Like editing, drawing, singing, knitting, etc.)
Q: Start on a new project and see if that gets you unstuck. You can always come back to the old one later.
R: Write something that's NOT from the main characters perspective. How would that one side character you really love react to something the main character has gone through? Or what were they up to while the main character was going through something.
S: Make random characters on Picrew, The Sims, BG3, literally anything with any kind of character customization. Maybe making a really cool design will make you inspired to write a really cool backstory to go with them.
T: Journal your day so you're writing something even if it isn't taking up creative energy. (Because the lack of creative energy is real.)
U: Read anything you write out loud, sometimes it helps things flow better.
V: Rewrite some of your old work. See if you find new wording for that one sentence that bothered you back then.
W: Meet your needs. It's much easier to write after a snack, a drink, and a nap if you feel like you need one.
X: Write about how an interaction would go between two characters who have never met in canon.
Y: Daydream! Not everything has to be written using pen or paper or an internet document. Just daydream about a story you'd like to tell and maybe get inspired. Or maybe you won't, but you will have kept the creative juices flowing!
Z: Release yourself from the pressure of writing. You will get something done when you get something done, and sometimes you just need a break. Even from things you love.
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Eden you are my Webtoons mutual so I must know if you have been reading Like Wind On A Dry Branch because I need someone to scream to me about Killian and Rieta
!!!!! HI MARIA! Yes I do indeed read Like Wind On A Dry Branch and have in fact been doing so since day 1! (They got me with the sweeping cloaks and the courtly speech I must admit.) I think I said some time ago that I love that it's kind of like this portrait of somebody who has been so shattered in virtually every aspect of her life that she has become even less than dead inside, and how it's the story of her slowly blinking awake again and coming back to life.
It's been some time since I've read the beginning of the comic-- honestly this ask might be the perfect reason for me to go back and reread it all- but one thing I've truly loved and appreciated about the art style/form is that we as an audience can see how Rieta's eyes slowly strengthen and clear over time, and how gradually life and color have returned to her face. I just found that to be such a boon of the medium, since through the written word you can only convey so much of that, but I love that you can slowly see her making more expressions and looking more intently and consciously at things than she did before. It's just!!! so sweet to me because it reminds me of the Persuasion 1995 factoid where it was shot in chronological order to show the change in Anne's mien over time. She gets to come into her self and that's so loving to me!!
I will also say that for me, it is fully one of the best written stories running on the platform right now- I'm honestly astonished by how much care and attention has been poured into its story and world and characters; which is not to bash the other surrounding comics but sometimes I really read comics more for the love of art + quick doses of story than for story depth which if I miss it I can find if I read a book instead! But it's kind of shocked me with how...like...not in a rush it is. The story threads for what happened to both Rieta and Killian have clearly been presented to us as an audience from the beginning, and yet it clearly goes over the facts of those events over and over from a variety of different views, and as a lover of a gradual story I adore that! As a whole, it seems very even-keeled and very caring towards its characters, and I have so much respect for that.
Also, to tag along with the things that have shocked me with how much I like in it, I honestly adore how much gravity and sincerity they have towards the immortality of people's souls. This is probably definitely due to my lenses on that want to see everything diffused with the light of my faith, but I LOVE how the most recent arc has treated Kilian's relationship with his mother. As is the case with a lot of fantasy these days, I have to kind of approach it with a forgiving mindset that there's a cultural worldview now that our souls just kind of disappear, but (SPOILERS LOL feel free to press J to skip this post) the fact that so much of Killian's guilt and heartache as a person has been based around the fact that he was so, so frightened of having hurt his mother's soul when she was resurrected against her will, and also that he firmly believes that a soul shouldn't be tied to this world forever and ever but should pass on when their time is come...is one of my weirdly most comforting takes on fantasy necromancy that I've read in a series in quite some time.
(I also just read Sabriel recently for the first time and I think that compounded on how hard this particular revelation of Killian's hit me, just in the sense that like, the dead are full of people who love us and they want us to live whilst we have the time to do so, and then they want us to walk forward and that's full of love too, it's just personally very meaningful to me this year what can I say.)
I know you sent this ask specifically about Killian and Rieta, but to be honest with you I love them so dearly I don't have quite the words to express it!!! They're just something so true and deep and rooted that I can't quite comprehend but I love how everything about them has turned out. Quite frankly their dynamic is one of my favorite examples of restraint being used in fiction at the moment and I have so much love in my heart for how slowly the pace has gone for them as a pair because somehow....that makes it seem all the more real to me and I'm glad for it. The two of them remind me of that one quote (maybe by Chesterton? I can't quite remember but very him energy) that says when a couple are paired together they knock on the door to eternity; there's a great deal of inherent gravity to them as a pair because from the get-go, Killian in particular has approached Rieta as an equal and a human being and eventually as his dearest friend in the world, things I think romance in general could really benefit from as a genre. I also really, really appreciate that he's a fairly grounded person with a normal amount of self-assurance expected of a grown man, but not so much that he ever causes her unnecessary pain, in fact he's so conscious of her and her well-being that even a mother could not be more nurturing him imo.
Which I guess leads me to my next point, which is I think what really makes the series shine, what makes them make sense and what has honestly kind of shocked me most about the story as a whole is, well, Killian himself. I'm a great lover of fantasy in general, and I come to that from a standpoint of loving coming of age stories which fantasy as a genre is rife with, and I'm happy with that because I love them!! but I think what really draws me to this story so much over and over again is that it has these main characters who are really at the height of their powers as is, however locked away they might be at the beginning, and so there's less of a sense of watching the two of them being put through the crucible of their lives to find out who they are, and is in fact more of a story of finding out who you are when you are happy and settled into yourself when you have been constantly traumatized your entire life beforehand and aren't acquainted with who you can be when you're finally okay.
I say that because I think the both of them have already been cut as close to the core as a person can be-- Rieta obviously with her husband and her child, and Killian with his mother; but what I love so much about them is that it turns neither of them harsh or cruel. Rieta's agony of course being the more wide-spreading of the two causes her to retreat into herself, but what astonished me is that that never happens with Killian. He reminds me of the archetype of characters like Bruce Wayne or Jane Eyre, people who have all the reason in the world to have a broken heart who simply...don't. Many another (particularly male) character have used their personal tragedies as excuses to make the whole world suffer as they have, but his whole work has always been to make sure that because he has experienced true loss, no one else under his protection ever will if he can possibly help it. He's a truly kingly man, whose life is entirely based around safeguarding his people, nurturing the talents of those who would otherwise be turned away, making a place where children can grow to their full stature without the harried aspects of the court life he had, and that's so much to me. He's entirely more loving and caring and warm-hearted than I ever expected picking up the series, and he's FUNNY, he laughs and he finds good in his friends and his domain, and when he is tested or attacked his brain is always trying to figure out how best to protect his people from harm. And I hate to say that that is such a surprise to me but it is! I love that he's written that way-- because truly, there is nothing more kingly in a person than the warmth and kindliness of their heart, and he has that in spades.
tldr: yes I love them thank you for asking and letting me have the chance to wax poetic about them!!! 💛💛💛
#long post#ask#friends tag#wheeeee i'm sorry for how long this is but it turned out i had more to say than i thought i did!!
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I was just rereading Insomniacs Anonymous (which, good stuff 👍👍) and I was just wondering if you've seen Miraculous season 5 yet? And if so, thoughts?
Why thank you~ ✨
And yes! I have seen Miraculous Season 5. You might notice in one of the A/Ns in Insomniacs Anonymous I say that the story won't be following Season 5. Mainly because the story starts somewhere in Season 4 and diverges from canon from there, you know how that goes.
As for Season 5... I think this season made me realize that this genre is not meant for me. Yes, it's superhero media (and I love superhero media; I still need to catch up on Invincible before they release the rest of Season 2), but the genre itself is very different. Like how Captain America: Winter Soldier is action (you could even make an argument that it has aspects of the thriller genre), while She-Hulk is comedy. They're both superhero mediums, but the content and storytelling are completely different.
In general, I have a very complicated relationship with Miraculous Ladybug. I don't read fanfiction for it anymore, and I dropped a lot of the MLB blogs I used to follow.
A lot of my problems aren't even from Season 5 but comes from the show altogether. The characterizations are very inconsistent, and the writers often ignore their own worldbuilding. They'll create hard rules and then backtrack.
I'm not a huge fan of how Thomas Astruc handles the show and some of the characters. Keep in mind, this is the same man that once said Jesus Christ used a Miraculous, before he rescinded the statement when he realizes oh fuck this is a bad idea.
I think a lot of it comes down to the fact that there is so much potential, but at the end of the day, this isn't the genre for it. Their focus is on something else, so I can't judge it based on what genre I want it to be.
It's also a little disappointing because there are so many other cartoons that are limited by their ratings as well but they can do so much more with it. Like, Puss in Boots: The Last Wish is rated PG. That movie had depth and character growth and never once lost its charm and humor.
But I know there are those that really enjoy it, and honestly? It makes me really happy. Buggachat has some amazing art; her Bakery "Enemies" AU is an incredible display of love for the show. She also has some great analysis posts about the series, and Season 5, that I would recommend. There was a post she made about the Season 5 finale that made me appreciate it more. There's also frostedpuffs who makes beautiful pieces of art and fanfiction.
I'm never going to criticize anyone that enjoys it. I know what it's like to be interested in a piece of media that gets a lot of contention and discourse. With the rise in popularity with DPxDC, I've seen a lot of posts that gave bad faith interpretations of Danny Phantom because they didn't try to look into the show beyond the tropes they saw and disliked. Hell, just yesterday I saw the most rancid take on a beloved character that had absolutely no depth or nuance.
There are so many times when I'll see these posts and just know they've got it all wrong. Because they don't love the show. Sometimes they know the show, but they don't love it. You know what they say about authors and directors and creators who get their hands on a character they hate- they ruin them. Because they don't love them.
I don't love Miraculous Ladybug. There are parts about the show that I wasn't fond of, and then I'll see analysis posts about how the episode fits into the series as a whole, and you know what: they make sense. I couldn't have thought about it that way, because I simply don't love the show like they do. And I don't have to.
I don't think I'll watch Season 6 when it comes out. I was morbidly curious about Season 5 after the Season 4 finale, but knowing that the studio is hoping to produce 8 season total, I don't think I can commit to that. The show just isn't for me, and it's time I accept that and move on.
I'll still play in my little corner of the playground, but I think otherwise I'll just stand aside and let everyone else play with their toys how they want to.
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1 (Desert Song), 2, 3, 8, 11, 14, 23, 29 for the fic asks :)
Thank you so much!!! I'll try to make my answers somewhat brief since it's late and I need to get to bed
1. Share a song that makes you think of [Desert Song]
I mean, the title IS a song (a very heartbreaking bonus release by MCR), and I do have a whole list of songs compiled for use in future chapters so I kinda want to save those for when they appear in the fic itself, but there's one song that reminds me of them but doesn't really fit the rest of the punk theme
Pruning Shears by the Amazing Devil
It's a wonderful song and tells the story of a future couple meeting at a party, the interactions between the two of them already remind me a bit of Billy and Quinn's dynamic, but there's one stanza that really strikes me (and would've been the choice lyrics for the fic chapter, if the song fit the theme)
And I'll watch her ruin her life and dye her hair bright colors
Become someone's wife
Forget the girl that she once was
It just strikes me as very very *Quinn*, and I'd love to include the song if it fit with the tone of the overall fic. I mean, I'm a punk and I love the Amazing Devil, but it's not exactly punk music itself
2. Do you read/reread your own fics?
All the time! I write the stories I want to see, and I love rereading them from time to time
3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?
Ugh, that's so tough because they all serve different purposes. Like, Smoke and Mirrors I love for its character development, Bolts and Blasters I love for its slowburn, A Love Once New is my self-indulgent rainy-day fic, Desert Song I love for its complex relationships and intra/interpersonal themes, the list goes on. I love them each in their own way, and I genuinely can't pick a favorite.
8. What project(s) are you currently working on?
Uh.... a lot. But most recently I've been working on new chapters for Taking Flight (still hyperfixated lol) and Heartstrings, with A Love Once New waiting in the wings (pun intended lol)
11. Do you have specific playlists for writing fics?
Not really, I tend to get distracted if I write to music. I do have a playlist for my Sandman character Prometheus here, and my fics kinda end up being playlists themselves since I incorporate so much music into them, but I don't generally create a lot of playlists.
14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?
I'm actually gonna go with Desert Song. I tried/am actively trying to emulate the fast-paced action style of 6 Underground, and given the movie never got a sequel I'd pick this one to fill that void. The same goes for my other 6 Underground fic, Nom de Guerre - Desert Song is the better-written fic by far, but I think Nom De Guerre might have more visual elements that would adapt well to film.
23. How do you choose where to end a chapter (if you have multi-chapter works)?
I tend to lay out a brief outline for my chapters so I know where to go, but I kinda just go off of general feel for the length itself. The only limitations I place on myself are that it must be over 2k words (which is easy to achieve now) and it must end in a good narrative way (since idk when I would next be able to update and I don't want to leave people unsatisfied).
29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)
Sure thing! Here's a snippet from a Wednesday fic that I scrapped after the controversy with Percy Hynes White. I still like the idea (in fact, I'm hybridizing the OC into a future fic with Michael Langdon instead), but I don't want to engage with any of the controversy regardless of its legal outcome.
“Calypso, that’s Greek, right?”
Her Mona Lisa smile widened into something genuine, a blend of pure happiness and mild surprise. The distance in her expression vanished almost instantly. She wasn’t great at hiding her emotions. Everything showed on her face, as candidly as if it were written across her forehead. He found it endearing.
“Right.” she agreed, “Greek mythology. She was the daughter of Atlas, the titan, and she was imprisoned on a hidden island that adventurers could only find once.” Then, as if it burst out of her in a flash of inspiration, “But I think I’m more like Hephaestus.”
“Why’s that?”
“He was the outcast of the gods. Cast aside because he was ugly. And he worked the forges.” She stared down at her own hands, and he remembered the illustrated gleam of the knife in his painting. “I work in the forges. Sort of.”
Another of his questions answered, then. But that wasn’t what he was focused on. And he had a habit of speaking before his brain caught up.
“You think you’re ugly?”
Her gray eyes flashed back up to his own, emotion flitting across her face in an uncertain wave. She still couldn’t hide it, but that didn’t mean Xavier could read it. He wasn’t sure what to think, other than that she was clearly very, very lonely. And maybe didn’t even realize it.
“I think I’m an outcast.” she finally answered, very carefully.
Maybe she did realize it, after all.
thank you so much for asking!! these were fun!!
Fanfic Writer Asks
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(This is in response to some conversation around fan works and 'expy' characters)
@juneegbertfanpage The short answer is, yes! But if you decide to go that route, there are a few things I'd recommend keeping in mind.
First, if your fanfic uses excerpts from the original text or basically follows the original plot, then you'll have to rewrite those bits. This probably seems obvious but you'd really, really be surprised what people think they can get away with. Similarly, if there are some incredibly recognizable setting elements, you may have a hard time making it seem original - it's a lot harder to turn a Pokemon fanfic into an original story than, say, a Star Trek fanfic.
Second, most fanfic relies heavily on the reader's understanding of the original work to skip out on establishing characters. You can't do that if you're going to call your story an original work. Reread the first few chapters and see if you need to put in more early moments to give the reader an idea of who these people are. Also go back over the worldbuilding - unless you're in the business of writing very detailed AUs, you may want to reinforce some background details about the world that you might've glossed over originally because the audience should already know those parts.
Asterisk on that last part: when you're doing this, it could be nice to take some liberties and do some things differently than the 'original' work - after all, you don't need to worry about making anyone OOC anymore, because that's a different guy now! At this point, being consistent with who your characters are later (or rather, telegraphing some of the development they may have) is better than just using whatever your story was originally based on.
Third, if you've already published the story elsewhere in its original fanfiction form, people will likely find both that version and the version you've made more your own. This isn't going to constitute a problem legally (unless somehow you get accused of plagiarizing yourself), but you will be made fun of for being a fanfic author. Assholes will deride your work, regardless of its quality or originality, simply because it began life as a fan work. You and I know that that's bullshit - not only is there nothing wrong with writing fanfiction, but also so many other works out there theoretically *could* have started life as a fanfiction of sorts, and they are still celebrated works. Point is, if the original fanfic version of your story exists online somewhere, it will be found, and people will make fun of you for it; you can't let them get under your skin. Not that that is easy, but it is necessary.
Finally, be warned: independent authors get screwed over at astronomical rates. I've never published a book, so I would defer to any number of folks who've gone through the process multiple times, but overall I'd be careful who you talk to and be doubly careful who you send a manuscript to. When you get toward the publishing stage (after carefully editing your prior work [and getting the help of a beta reader or ideally two - one familiar with the original work and one fresh]) I would highly recommend seeking out the advice of fellow authors - there are certainly dozens of advice posts that have circulated around here, as well as years of discussions on other sites such as Medium, Reddit, and Quora. I'd also look for panels at any conventions you might be going to - most of the science-fiction/fantasy fan cons will have one or two discussions on getting published, at least in my experience.
#I think I covered pretty much all of the considerations around converting a fanfiction into a standalone work#or at least all of the ones I can see from where I'm standing#I also don't really touch on completely independent publishing on a site like itch#but none of the sites that I know about are really well geared toward fiction - they're all much better suited for other forms of media#(plus trying to go that route would make a run of physical copies incredibly unlikely to ever happen)
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1, 2, 10, 14, 16, 18, 19, 23!
Share a song that makes you think of [fic title]
You didn't specify one so here's The Shooting Star by Gojira, which always makes me think of Aperture Priority. It's a song, evidently, about grief - but something in the slow chug of the music itself makes me think of the "going through the motions" feeling that not fully acknowledging and processing that grief can have. If that explanation makes any sense.
2. Do you read/reread your own fics?
Yes! I need some time and distance from them in order to be surprised again and to have lost some of the emotional investment I have in trying to perfect a new piece, but at the end of the day, I wrote what I wanted to read.
10. Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?
I really hoped Aperture Priority would get a slightly warmer reception than it did. I think it's one of my best ones and it centres my favourite character in the game (Barret), but I can also understand that a 25K oneshot that's the fourth in a series might be a hard sell.
14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?
The Big One that my FFVII is building to could work really well as an anime series, I think. It'd never actually work because it relies very much on the context of the previous fics, which are too all over the place in tone and content to cohere into one running narrative, but I can daydream.
16. At what point in the process do you come up with titles?
It could happen any time. Sometimes I have a title that suggests itself right away, sometimes I have to really sit and brainstorm one when it's all that stands between me and posting.
18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?
He was only a shadow in the doorway at first, the brilliance of the world outside redacting his face.
This sentence kicks off the first meeting of a story's protagonist with the superior she forms an intense and immediate crush on (Elena meeting Tseng, for those in the know). I made his entrance as intimidating as possible to try to reinforce that, at least in my take on the dynamic, she's attracted to the power she thinks he wields more than anything. But it always stands out to me because I knew I wanted a striking and unusual verb to describe the light obscuring his face here; it took me a while to find "redact", but when I did, I felt like I'd pulled off a heist. Considering they're in secret service, there's whole wells of allusion and connotation behind that one.
19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.
“Just three words,” [Terra] said. “Two, if you bring in a contraction.”
“Yes. It was me who told you what a contraction is.” Celes groaned at the burn beginning to kindle in the muscles of her arms.
This is a pretty benign exchange on the surface, but the context in which is takes place is so very NSFW it cracks me up every time.
23. How do you choose where to end a chapter (if you have multi-chapter works)?
Already answered!
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3, 18, 21, 22
3) What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)
Oh now this is a hard one lol Not that they don't exist but braining it rn is hard.
Plus a lot of those kind of scenes are parts of WIPs!
I can say the scene where sylvanas tells jaina she loves her in HoD is like, 75% of the reason that fic exists.
There's a scene in my very first sylvaina fic, the one I started before LR, that I will one day get to write. But I'm not sharing it ;)
There's a scene where Lara Croft has nightmares related to her guilt over how many people she's killed, and Mercy rescuing Widowmaker in the Tolkien AU.
Oh! Okay yeah this may never see the light of day. Star Wars, sabepadme, Padme Lives AU.
context: She becomes the face of the rebellion, but no one knows what she looks like because Sabe crafted her a mask. "The galaxy believes amidala has died." "Who shall I be?" "Liberty."
Anyway it's the inevitable Vader/Liberty meeting. Something something floor collapses and they're trapped together. I'll just share my notes where I often sketch out a scene:
padme keeping her distance, can feel the hatred seething off of vader, can feel the hatred of him in herself, has her pistol trained on him, neither moves though padme suspects she's a dead woman anyway and vader is likely biding his time
vader talks about how much of an annoyance she is, she gets snippy with him, argue, padme reveals something that only she and anakin could have known and…
vader's lightsaber clatters to the ground and he fell to his knees before her. 'Padme…?' and she stared, a sick feeling in her heart, before she reached out and removed vader's helmet, and stared into Anakin's eyes.
They were yellow and hateful and yet they were anakin's and padme stifled a sob before removing her own mask. vader's eyes flickered, and for the most brief of moments he was anakin 'he told me I killed you' padme just kneels in front of him, cupping vader's face, and yes, yes her love for him was real, but that was a long time ago and this man was not her anakin but she'd been right, there was still GOOD in him
she feels him press his lightsaber into her hands and he says 'I once told you that my lightsaber was my life'. and now, now while that goodness was there, now, before darkness could prevail again, padme did not hesitate in activating the lightsaber.
She had loved him a long time ago and yet it was like cutting her own heart out
18) Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.
Not really! At least nothing I've ever really written down. I might have considered some ideas, and I suppose TECHNICALLY Handfuls of Dust was originally going to be an AU before I decided to make it an actual sequel. But it wouldn't have been written otherwise.
Like I'm pretty sure Jaina going undead was something I considered for LR originally
21) What other medium do you think your story would work well as? (film, webcomic, animated series?)
Depends on which stories. When I visualize a scene I typically imagine it as an animated or live action scene. Most of my larger fics would be best in a mini-series type format. I prefer animation in 75% of all cases, though I'd love for Starlight to be live action.
22) Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?
I do sometimes. I can't think of any that I hate and I enjoy rereading most of them. Sometimes it's like 'wow I really wrote this? amazing!'
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Oh yes, I think he put time into cultivating that relationship with her even if he didn't realize how he was doing it at the time. I think he enjoys her attention and truly likes her for who she is but hasn't either developed or has ignored any romantic feelings for her simply because it's easier than dealing with something that could become messy.
I think Penelope even calls him out in the book for just running away whenever he gets frustrated and he finally has to deal with that. Along with his jealousy of her accomplishments in the book, even if no one knows about them, she's a grown woman doing big girl things and taking care of business while he's still escaping his life though he's years older than her. I always liked how the book held Penelope like a mirror (ha!) to Colin as a reminder to him that he is both more privileged and more respected than she is and she still does what she thinks is right and holds strong to her feelings and deals with them in a way he has never even tried or, honestly, been expected to do.
Debling! I am very ambivalent about him to be honest. I was thinking about him and I had reread the book a while ago and remembered that Colin has a lot of internal thoughts about how he doesn't get how no one sees what he does and, at one point, gets jealous over a fake man he thinks she might have seen, etc. so in a medium like TV, it might very well be important that this become something tangible that the audience sees a progression of. Especially the dream, the majority of the general audience is going to need to be hand held into Colin's changing feelings and, of course, it's just fun to look at.
There's always a juxtaposition in the way the show treats the leading men with other women vs the one they're in love with and I feel like this Penelope/Debling thing could be the closest we get to an equal reciprocation of that sort of behavior with one of the women due to the restrictions women were held to back then.
Oh yes, I think they have both been on different types of pedestals for each other and they both needed to fall right off of them if these two as adults were ever going to have a chance of making this whole thing work. I will swoon right along with you!
Ooh my dearest anon this has been the most beautiful form of Bridgerton therapy that I didn’t even know I needed.
You’re right, he was growing their relationship all along, the glances her way, finding her along the edges of the dance floor, writing her letters when he wasn’t courting her to share his experiences with her of his travels. The way she made him feel about himself, seeing himself through her eyes. Their relationship was a seed that grew through small droplets of water little by little until it sprouts into a garden of desire that he can no longer ignore, invading even his wildest dreams.
I love that they are both writers, being a writer myself, I think that that is perhaps what has always drawn me to them as a couple. Writing and writers tend to draw to each other, and I love that they have that magnet as well. That they have much to learn from each other. Pen is brave with her writing, even tho she hides behind LW she writes even tho it is at great personal risk, but her bravery in her writing is something she can help teach to Colin. To help him find purpose.
I was a book virgin for season 1 & 2. I did not read any of the books going into the show. I stumbled into it out of boredom during the pandemic. I fell in love with Colin and Pen from day 1. Before this season I had to at least read their story so I found it online and binged it in a day. Now that I've purchased the book, I will pause and read it more slowly after part 1 has aired but I can see where I will enjoy some of what the show is bringing compared to what the book offered by having a proper real suitor who seems to want her involved to give her something else to offer her. But I’m still not interested in his face. LOL
I do think the general audience will need to see Colin’s arrogant swagger turn to mush at the mere mention of his eyes by one Penelope Featherington. They will need to see how his reaction is different and how she causes his reaction to be so different. And if that behavior is necessary for that, then so be it with his whores and his behavior. I’ve always liked a bad guy attitude anyway. Besides, if these two are going to get hot and heavy and break some furniture, at least one of them is going to need to have a clue of what to do.
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Cliffhangers (stupid)
A cliffhanger ending is a plot device in fiction which features a main character in a precarious or difficult dilemma or confronted with a shocking revelation at the end of an episode or a film of serialized fiction (or even a chapter of a book, where this is not even, as stated later, economical). A cliffhanger is hoped to incentivize the audience to return to see how the characters resolve the dilemma. (wikipedia)
I do not like cliffhangers because of the way they alter the writing style of writers apparently addicted to them for no clear reason, and also because if the reason is clear, it is to give the audience a reason to return beyond the continuous quality of your series (assumed: for money), though this only slightly explains why this is done in book chapters.
The apparent need for them
On the one hand, ending especially a chapter at all if your story is multi-threaded is probably hard, but then there's chapter 16 in "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" where Doughlas Adams rather obviously makes fun of this device, stating that "Stress and nervous tension are now serious Social problems in major parts of the galaxy" and going on to 'spoil' events and facts which would have slowly unfolded in the next chapter, including that they are of course not in mortal peril.
This shows the approximate (u|dys)topia I would apparently want instead, where no suspense is created across chapter boundaries, especially if the next chapter switches to a completely different perspective and thread of the story (though this is not actually on display in chapter 16). Imagining the cliffhanger would not exist in a more serious novel I'm rereading does not appear to have any downsides, except that it might get down the readers engagement with the novel if they have less points at which they have to continue reading, and so their sessions reading the novel are shorter overall, and so they think they like it less, because surely the way I binged through this book indicates it was well written all the way.(?)
Stress and nervous tension are actually at least mildly annoying in at least one part of the Galaxy
I would subjectively state that the feeling a cliffhanger induces just does not feel good. This does however call into question what I want to feel reading, and alternatively how bored I must be to consider feeling nothing an acceptable free time experience. Sample feelings include:
Romantic giddiness (e.g. in twilight by Stephenie Meyer) (not actually much more relaxed than suspense)
Considering the Implications of the presented Setup or Universe
Considering the authors intent behind some pun, character trait, or cliffhanger (oops)
Indignant awe at the absolute planning they must have to write 300 pages at all, which are also on average nonboring, especially considering the shortness of my school essays (of course not in comparison to a novel but to other essays of my friends or whatever)
The maybe-Contradiction in this with what I otherwise want from a book
I also do not like cover texts because they apparently ruin some of the suspense by just telling you the weird people in the book are vampires or even what the name of the most important one is. Considering there are different types of suspenses, this one kind of makes sense: it means that apparently I like slow revelations of the plot only if they do not seem delayed on purpose.
The strange fixation artists of a medium where they do not obviously boost sales have with Cliffhangers
It may just be some social self-expectation from hearing the phrase "to be continued" too many times, it might be the reader engagement, but I couldn't imagine a novelist who thinks to themselves: "my readers are sure going to consciously like how I am withholding information from them, and also wouldn't they like it so much if I did that at a chapter boundary". Firstly, chapter boundaries don't really mean that much, and conventional suspense feels less forced to me, as I would apparently want a novel to sound like it's not plying psychological tricks on me. Secondly, thinking a cliffhanger is good like a consistently constructed fantasy world that isn't confusing, or a joke, or a sudden reveal i didn't expect, I still don't get what I'm supposed to like about a cliffhanger.
Do tell. I have 0 novel writing experience
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u want to answer the first half???? 🥹🥹
sure! anything for you, boo <33333 sorry it took me this long :’(
oh Lordy, ok
Share a song that makes you think of [fic title]
ok so even tho you didn’t place a specific title imma pick Frayed Strings and A Meeting at the Beach for the song People You Know by Selena Gomez bc i enjoy me some bitter and Six Eared “has not moved on” Macaque 🤭
2. Do you read/reread your own fics?
yeah! but it’s mostly after someone makes a comment on something they liked bc i, too, want to find that scene or line and enjoy it 🥰
3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?
it’s honestly a tie between The Shrine of Emrys and A Meeting at the Beach which is funny bc they are so different from each other lmao
4. How many WIPs do you have right now?
oh, uh, *checks folder* give me a sec
*coughs* 43 👉👈
5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?
can find answer here it’s literally just all of my stranger things ufos lmao
6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time?
oh yeah, all the time. too many really to list them all 😓 but there’s Bones by @theoceanismyinkwell and you shake my nerves and you rattle my brain by @yikeshereiam just to name a couple (very good btw highly recommend)
7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now?
i’d rather not say
8. What project(s) are you currently working on?
rn it’s my swk & reaper series, frayed, and my dr geyer fic. all of which are long term fics lmao
9. Do you write every day? If you wrote today, share a sentence of what you’ve written!
it’s like every other day? i try to write often to keep me from writer’s block and it’s nice switching from wip to wip when i feel overwhelmed by the other
and i did write today! so have a snippet:
Frank O’Brien, in the words of his mother in-law, was a man you could never really figure out without walking on eggshells. In the words of his sister, he was a man that took after their uncle. In the words of Jenna, he was a cautious soul.
10. Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?
tbh the frayed AU wasn’t one i thought many people might have liked since i write macaron being very bitchy and salty about a lot of things and i know he’s a beloved character in the lmk fandom. like, i’m not writing him that way bc i hate him (far from it). I write like that bc that’s what i imagine what his internal dialogue might be like.
11. Do you have specific playlists for writing fics?
not really, i just find one that fits the mood of the scene or my own mood
12. Do you have a playlist for your current WIP(s)? Share it!
lol no 😙 I’m not really one to create wip or character playlists but it’s a lot of fun listening to others!
13. How much planning do you do before writing?
it honestly depends. no planning was done when making the dr geyer fic or any of the merlin fics. the planning came after bc my ambitions for them were more than i expected
14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?
oh gee, idk honestly. it would be cool to see a comic of the Shrine of Emrys just because the exaggerated expressions would be hilarious
15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters?
long answer can be found here.
short answer: it is a chaotic process that ends in prayer
but yeah there you go! i’m so sorry this was late babe 💖 had this saved in my drafts so I could answer it all and then it got buried in there 😖 BUT! hope you enjoyed my answers 💕💕💕💕
#ask game#fic writer ask game#writing#asks#thiamsxbitch#long post#sorry for the late reply 🙈🙈🙈#my wips#my fics
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A List of Fan Fic Writer Asks
(This is someone else’s created list, I lost the creators name)
1. Share a song that makes you think of [fic title]
There are a lot of songs that fit my characters, but I haven’t put much thought into title. Anchor by Skillet. Open Arms by Journey are two.
2. Do you read/reread your own fics?
I do just to see how I’ve changed over the years.
3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?
Stardust and The Crow. I’ve been writing fanfic for 34 years and this one I think is my best.
4. How many WIPs do you have right now?
I have 3.
5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?
Anytime I’ve come up with an idea I usually write it down, finish no, but at least start it.
6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time?
Not really.
7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now?
A lot, but not sure I will ever share them.
8. What project(s) are you currently working on?
Stardust and The Crow, We’ll Take the Stars and Starlight Corvid.
9. Do you write every day? If you wrote today, share a sentence of what you’ve written!
Yes, I do write every day. “Not sure, but it seems you have been granted access in the restrictive zones in the Vex Network.” “You mean I might have to go back in there?”
10.Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?
Yes.
11.Do you have specific playlists for writing fics?
Kind of. A few musicians that really it when I am writing.
12.Do you have a playlist for your current WIP(s)? Share it!
13.How much planning do you do before writing?
There is a little, but a lot of the planning comes along as I write. I have notes to where I would like it to lead, my characters, places, songs, etc.
14.If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?
Stardust and The Crow
15.How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters?
One is their names(nickname) The others I tried to find something that matched the story.
16.At what point in the process do you come up with titles?
I think I was a chapter in to all three before I came up with the names.
17.What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic?
That there really isn’t a lot in the Lore to go on when trying to find information about places or the events that went on. I have had to make up so much of it that isn’t gameplay, cutscenes or Lore.
18.What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?
“Have I ever died on you? Wait, please, don’t answer that.”
19.Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.
We’ll Take the Stars This hasn’t been posted yet
Jolyon stepped forward “Uldwyn slept with my sister, ma’am. I was upset – I mean I am upset with him.”
“Uldwyn?” Osana said in shock.
“Seighdra” Ausha said upset. Seighdra raised her eyes to her mother.
“Before we get into this, boys the fighting needs to stop. What you did Jolyon, was out of line. Do it on your own time, not during sparing matches. Understood?”
“Yes, ma’am” Jolyon answered.
“Yes, captain” Uldwyn responded.
“Now, Jolyon, people have choices of their own free will. We do not order others around, even if they are our own family. Understand?” Captain Alice informed him.
“Yes, understood” he said feeling like a beaten dog.
“You are dismissed” she then told him.
“But, what about…”
“Jolyon, go” his mother spoke up.
“Fine!” he said. He glared at Uldwyn as he faced him as he left. Uldwyn had a startled look.
When the captain was sure Jolyon had left, she began. “What you two do on your own time is none of my business, but when it filters out to my crew then it becomes my business.”
“I didn’t filter this out to the crew” Seighdra stated harshly, “nor did Uldwyn!”
“Seighdra!” her mother said sharply.
“No mom! I am not going to take blame for something Jolyon started. This was between Uldwyn and me and Jolyon hung it up for everyone to see!”
“Seighdra” the captain said calmly. “Yes, what Jolyon did was out of line and I’m sorry for that, but your actions caused his outburst.”
Seighdra was in shock. She was being punished for Jolyon’s outburst. “Mom!” she protested.
“You are 17 years old!”
“I’ll be 18 next week! This is so unfair. I didn’t want to come on this stupid ship, but here I am. I don’t like having Jolyon dictate my life, but again, here we are…
“I don’t want a pregnant teenage daughter.” Ausha interrupted.
Seighdra’s mouth hung open, then she closed it. She hadn’t even thought about that. She and Uldwyn shared a worried look.
“So, you didn’t use protection Uldwyn?” his mother said disappointedly.
He rubbed his neck with his free hand, the other still laced with Seighdra’s “Uh, no” he said sheepishly.
“Seighdra, what have I told you?” her mother conjected.
“Actually, mother, nothing. Sex was never your topic. You left that for Jolyon to explain to me and he basically told me to never have sex.” Seighdra tilted her head and smirked.
The Captain and Osana both looked at Ausha.
“You never wanted a daughter. I was a disappointment to you.”
20.What’s a favorite title for a fic you’ve written?
I don’t really have a favorite. They all mean something to me with my characters.
21.Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why?
Kind of. I am pretty old school so I hand write everything out first and if I don’t like something I will just not type it up.
22.Do you know how your fic will end before you start writing?
There is only one that has an ending. The others follow a video game that is currently active.
23.How do you choose where to end a chapter (if you have multi-chapter works)?
Sometimes an ending just happens and sometimes it take planning. I usually try to find a break in the events happening in my story.
24.Share a moodboard for (one of) your current WIP(s).
25.Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing?
Yes. I can feel the emotions of my characters. I am a very immersive writer.
26.Is there something you’ve written that you would never want your family to see?
No, my husband and kids have read my stuff. Actually, maybe stuff I wrote when I was 14. That stuff was bad. Just horrible writing. Ha ha ha
27.Is there a fic you were nervous to post/share? Why?
Yes. All of them. I have been working on them for two years. Again, remember I handwritten everything first. So, one day I decided to start typing mine up, in the hopes of posting it one day. Last May when I found a specific website after reading some other writers works, I got the nerve to post mine.
28.Have you ever tagged a fic “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat”?
no
29.Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)
“She’s back with him? Shawn asked Devin. “Yes, but it’s not our place to get involved.” Devin answered back. “Like hell it’s not! He hurt her twice. I’m not going to watch him do it again.” Devin responded back to his friend. “Just leave her alone right now.” Devin said sternly to him, “We’ll talk with her after the party. Alright?”
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At this point in regards to character interpretations, fans might as well remember the phrase "let's agree to disagree" and not fight anymore. Saves a lot of mental energy. Disregarding the portion that relies too much in fanon (and the ones that think abuse in literature is a love language), readers will have different interpretations. It what makes things fun! A little variation is good and too much uniformity is bland; fics and character interpretation should be about having fun in dissecting the character and wondering how this character would do if you place them in a different situation.
Now it's just, who has the most "accurate" meta or take and tbh, we wouldn't be as accurate as MXTX in terms of writing the characters. It gets frustrating when people try to enforce their interpretation on others, moreso when it's based on their own bland fanon than canon. It ends up being a Frankenstein abomination and I'm not sure if the one who made the fanon has child support for it.
This instead makes MDZS into some bland, poorly written novel when taken at a surface level— which actually happened to me btw! I had a PDF of the novel sitting in my file for months because I thought it would just be another trashy novel Tumblr glittered on to be great. The fandom made me think that it was some weird FSOG reimagining with bad sibling relationships. I was so, so, so glad I was wrong. It's one of the best novels I have read that deals with societal issues we see today— and I'm kinda annoyed the fans gloss it over to focus on some! Bland fanon take of a bad character! Like, dude, you get to read about the consequences of being pushed into a corner because you're the only one who voiced out the bad thing in a group and the lesson of it on how things can go bad than good when you want to stand up for what's right— it's both a cautionary tale of what happens if you're all alone in facing a giant problem and the ills of a society who doesn't want to change for the better, and a lesson on what happens if you have the right support and tenacity to face the same problem head-on and maintaining goodness and patience no matter what happens in life because it's you who gets to live it, not others. There's even more if you unpack the novel again when rereading it.
Rant of what you can learn from MDZS aside, sorry about that, some takes in the fandom end up making MDZS into some weird puppet monstrosity stitched together by bad writing (when it's the opposite). The ones who try to disprove them sometimes end up committing the same mistakes. Fans should learn from WWX and let things go and move on because you're the only one getting hurt from it.
"Only when people don't hold so much in their hearts would they finally feel free (Ch 113)".
Anon, love and light but :
We obviously all wish we could bake a rainbow smile cake, but it's not gonna happen. Nothing this shitshow fandom will come up with will ever carry the value of the canon work, as you yourself observed forming an opinion prior to reading it. Naturally, I do hope in the interest of your ardent desire to moderate via the medium of metaphors you sent this to every single account that's posting discourse yeah? Otherwise you're just trying to manage what I'm personally posting in my personal space, whilst not posting anything in anyone else's personal space, but instead quite industriously blocking the shit out of them so that never our paths may meet; With an added side of ~your own take on canon~. And that's not really very agree to disagree of you. No hard feelings. xx
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PUSHIT
it’s a song by Tool that i’ve been sitting with for a little over a month now, wanting to say something. tried it in several ways and decided on a post overview, so here comes a stack of thoughts.
youtube
my first go at it was a painting. it came from scrambling, a part of the song that stuck with me from the start:
“You're pushing, and shoving, and scrambling
To keep my feet flat on the ground”
i painted it, painted what sounded exactly like scrambling, like a shuffle, like kicking with enough desperation for it to land on something, anything. didn’t post.
i thought of Children next: ”We Will Adore Our Children“, a text i published last November. the concepts that i wanted to pinpoint with it got shown, but i know i mostly i skirted along the edges there. a conversation i had about that work left me with a phrase that i’m still carrying now: “a backdoor for disgusting”. the vital subtlety of handling certain topics.
i didn’t want anything readable and i didn’t publish my first painting. i reread Children. i felt, once again, the funny kinship, closeness, understanding, dialogue with another piece.
“And if when I say I might fade like a sigh if I stay
You minimize my movement anyway
I must persuade you another way”
it’s comforting to find something to relate to especially if it’s this specific, and it’s heartbreaking to not really, actually have a human connection with that. some sad isolation. i wrote this text.
i adore what the song accomplishes in its 10 minutes. there’s a repetition that links the whole story, the song starts with it:
“I saw the gap again today”
a scene that gets mentioned three times, three times that can be compared. the first one carrying the setting tone, “how things are”. the second one:
“I'm slipping back into the gap again”
escalates. still the same, the same familiar scene, but this time it just so happens to grow into an outward fight. the way the music supports this feeling is what hooked me in the first time: it feels and sounds like a fight. no break in the middle, it keeps going and going till it ends and leaves you to pick up the pieces.
then picking up the pieces… no time is wasted here. it could be called a moment of quiet on which to build a climax, something to contrast with and… yeah, but what i adore here is the way it plays into the concept as well. putting this quiet passage right after a fight; it feels like a journey, the one that is made with one’s feelings. yet another “this can’t go on like this” but here it somehow actually leads somewhere. very hollow, tired out stating of the facts:
“You put me somewhere I don't wanna be”
coming to the first conclusion:
“Never want to see that place again”
notice how the music changes through this, how the tone changes with this conclusion. how the tone stresses that it is a conclusion, a decision made. good or bad doesn’t even matter comparatively, what matters is that it is change. something to move from. something that promises that the next time you see the gap, you’ve already given in to something, accepted that it won’t stay the same. then it comes the third time:
“Saw that gap again today
Managed to push myself away
And you, as well, my dear”
how the music comes with, how it sounds joyous, how it feels almost excited to do something different, something new, something that isn’t repeating the same old rotten pattern. when the next phrase comes sounding like a prayer, it delivers the cemented decision:
“And if when I say I might fade like a sigh if I stay
You minimize my movement anyway
I must persuade you another way”
what gets to me the most here is the wording: it’s the “if” that i didn’t even notice the first couple times around.
i can’t tell if it really is that big or if it’s something subjective, but… it seals the deal for me. it’s written with so much awareness of how these things go: it makes the whole passage a logical argument.
it’s not “you do this and that, and i need to do something”. it’s not, because really, what does it matter if “you do this and that”? you’ve done it forever and i’ve taken it before, i don’t “need” to do anything. see the pattern? see how easily it slips away, the sympathy for the self? the hint of an idea that you don’t “need” to take it?
this is what the “if” changes, though. it frames the whole thing as an argument, as a logical conclusion, as a fact. and feelings and personal needs don’t matter, but facts can. this is how you trick yourself into bettering the situation, you say: “IF you do this and that regardless of my plea, THEN i do something”. it’s a subtle little thing in the wording but presenting it as an “action and logical, planned response” rather than “action and my reaction, my, god forbid, feelings” is what sells to the mind that is used to coping with an inescapable situation. or previously inescapable. it’s nothing factual, nothing actually different in the meaning behind the packaging of words, but it’s how convincing, proving things to yourself can be.
whatever, there goes the revelation! it’s sung, it resonates and rises above the gloom and the rot, and does so in a beautifully realistic way: not by anything kind and loving but by admitting that it’s all about pushing and shoving and pushing.
it is dear to me how this idea is directly faced, how the song breaks out into something living, colourful, pushes through with survival. how the shape that this survival takes is violence.
“Remember I'll always love you
As I claw your fucking throat away”
how anger is a sign of healing. how anger is a fucking sign of healing. this concept keeps blowing me away still.
i love understanding what has pained me in the idea of “acceptance, forgiving and moving on”: it’s the fact that often enough people skip the anger in the process. no, people expect others to skip the anger and that skewers the whole thing, turns it into a different beast altogether.
going from a place of being hurt, having that hurt, internalizing that hurt and the reasoning for it… what would happen if the anger stage was skipped? if you were told “forgive them and move on, it’ll be easier” without having first reached the anger, the stage where a person realizes that the whole experience was, like, no-go?
possibly there will be no realizing altogether. outwardly or inwardly, the blame will stick and be the main feeling behind the experience. it will be internalized with nothing to balance it out. it will be cemented in the shape of the one that hurt, but it will no longer be a separate being, it’ll live in you. anger is the barrier, the understanding that it has never been even, that one side fucking HURT the other. whether it ever gets to peace with the other is not even that important, peace with self is. switching the self-blame for anger is, any day.
i believe the song celebrates it, but most importantly, it shows how it is a cycle. now it’s in you, the pushing and shoving, now it’s the first response to anything remotely resembling a threat. it’s the price, no, not price, it’s the consequence of having made it out.
i love how this song has the whole journey in it. i love this song, i love it as an art piece. i love how the concept for it was put together with the medium, how it managed to say all that and make it feel like what it was saying.
i also love that the theme goes through the entire album and other songs add to the picture. if “Pushit” shows coming into anger/survival, then “H.” definitely addresses the cost of that reaction. and it does that with so much empathy that it breaks my heart a little. but yeah, the struggle goes on and whatever, there are like other Tool albums out there…
#writing#tool#i was gushing about how abstract and careful the wording here is about importance of subtelty#and THEN i listened to prison sex and there it was. there it all was. guess it is a process#anyway uh. wanna chat?
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