Falling For High School! Snafu Would Include...
This is going to be apart of a series. Just an idea I had roaming in my head! It’s pretty bad but I just had to get this out here. High School! Snafu is an interesting concept...✨✨
You met Snafu in your French class sophomore year
You originally knew him as Merriell since the teacher would always call him that (or call him out for not paying attention)
He’s the only junior in a class full of underformers
At first glance, you’re kinda weary of him because of all the rumors you had heard
I mean, his nickname had said it all for you
Everybody knew him as the “werid” older student
Just seemed like nothing more than a weird dude
It’s like any other day and your in French
You get assigned to work with Snafu on a project
Great, not only your with the older werido, but he also most likely won’t do the work
He moves to your desk with a cheeky smile on his face
“Y/n, innit?”
“Yeah, and you're Merriell?”
“You can call me Snafu, darlin’”
Snafu to say the least was very unpredictable
He was fluent in French and did his fair share in the project
You guys actually got an A+ on the project
It had sparked a sudden friendship between the two of you
Hanging out during your free blocks, exchanging numbers, etc
Heck, he even came over for dinner
Your mother absolutely loves him since you convince him to put on a goody two shoes act so he doesn’t give your poor mother a heart attack
He would hang out in your room as you guys made tik toks and played Among Us
But the more you guys became “friends”, the more you noticed his long stares and sleepless nights you would spend texting
It was pretty obvious that Snafu had been not so subtlety flirting with you
Burgie, a friend of Snafu and you, even notices but doesn’t say because he likes to watch all the drama unfold from a distance
He would call you cher, pat you on the head, and be way too nice to you
“Why don’t you go poking around with some girl around your age?”
“None of treat me like you do, cher.”
“Ah, the sympathy card. Try your luck next time, Shelton.”
He was a cigarette smoking Cajun while you were a goody two shows with straight a’s
Snafu could have have anybody else but yet he puts all your attention on you and only you?
So anyways, there’s this bully in your Latin class named Lukas
He’s overall an asshole who especially loved to harass you
Since Snafu became your friend and possible crush, he had been leaving you alone-ish
But the harassment still didn’t stop and the comments would get even worse
“Whats the matter? Gonna cry about it to your fuck buddy?”
“He only likes you because he feels bad for you. Look at you.”
Lukas wasn't entirely wrong since nobody ever paid attention to you except Snafu
It was a dirty confession, but you sometimes liked the attention he gave you since you had never expiernced it before
So it’s the end of class and you’re packing up all of your stuff
You stayed after to talk with the teacher so your all alone
Wanting to fill up your water bottle, you walk to the nearest water fountain and fill it
Returning to the classroom, your in absolute hororr
All of the books in your bag had been spilled all over the place and your phone screen had been smashed
The notes you had done for an important quiz had been all ripped up
Down the hallway, you can hear Lukas and his friend snickering
Not knowing what to do, you burst into tears
Snafu had forgotten one of his books and walked in on you, sobbing your eyes out
He walks over and sees the mess
In an awaked manner, he bends down and pats your back as you let it all loose
“Merde sacrée! Y/n, you good?”
You shake you head as you can barley breathe from all the tears
Snafu furrows his eyebrows as he shakes his head in disgust
“Who did ‘dis, cher?”
“L-Lukas...but please don’t interfere.”
“Only because your sayin’ it, I won’t. But let me drive you home.”
Snafu drives you home and he’s there when you explain it to your mother
She calls the school and wants it sealed with immediately
Snafu gives you a hug before going back into car
Throughout the night he’s sending you funny Tik Tok’s and memes because he’s such a himbo
So it’s the next day of school and your kinda shaky but know it’s going to be dealt with
As you grab your books for Geometry, you hear students running to the Cafeteria
Curious, you follow and are in absolute shock
Snafu was on top of a whimpering Lukas, beating the living shit out of him
“Think it’s funny to bully other’s to jazz ya cargo pants boo?”
“G-get off of me, bug eyes!”
Lukas was begging for him to stop with a bloody nose, crying
It gets split up and both of the boys are dragged away
So after you finish your classes you wait outside of the nurses office and see Snafu walk out with a bruised eye and bloody lip
He smiles at you, acting like nothing bad at happened
Walking over, you slap him really hard
“What the hell is wrong with you!”
“Whaddya mean?”
“I told you not to confront him, and yet you do!”
“He was hurting you. What the hell did you expect me do? Let him kick yah around?”
“It was none of your buisness!”
You were right up in his face, your rough breathes being the only noise
Digging throguh his pocket to find his car eyes, Snafu says “Fuck it. Let’s go.”
“What?”
“We’re outta here. Fuck this prison.”
“But I have a test in Phy-“
“Just Get in my damn car, y/n.”
There went your perfect attendance. Your mother was going to be worried sick but Snafu, despiste his insane judgement, was right
You and Snafu drive around in his Jeep in utter silence
Bringing you into a forest area, you guys stop as you overlook a cliff
Pulling out a box of cigarettes, he begins to smoke. You look over and admire the way his calloused fingers fiddle with the lighter. The way the cigar caseually hung from his lip.
Your staring was a little too obvious as Snafu looked over, offering a Cigarette
“No thanks. My mom says they kill your lungs.”
“Doesn’t you mama have a lot to say about everythin’?”
“She does. But those nicotine sticks give you cancer.”
“Are you gonna let her control you for da rest of ya life, Cher? Swear to god, you’ll be livin’ with her right by ya side. Even when ya married she’ll try to give you the birds and bees talk.”
A chuckle escapes from your lips. Snafu laughs along with you. He was right. For the few hours you were away from your overprotective, might as taste freedom. What was the harm in doing so?
“You know what? Fuck it. Hand one over, please.”
“Be careful, darlin’. Don’t get too cocky.”
Handing you a cigarette, you place it on your lips. Snafu brings a lighter close to your face. He grabs your chin gently to pull you close in order to lite the cigarette and suddenly my pants are wet
It took you by shock. His hands were dry, yet soft. As he lite your cigarette, his hand didn’t leave your chin. The two of you looked at eachother with a long gaze. There had been so much tension between you. Snafu had truly cared about you more than anybody in the world. There was something innocent about you that he simply adored.
Taking out the cigarette to blow smoke into his face, he leans in more to connect with your lips
Instead of rejecting it you happily accept the kiss. It was your first kiss and it had to be the Cajun bad boy. Not that you are complaining. His lips were like heaven. It was passionate and lasted for over a minute before you separated to breathe. Some of the saliva ran throguh from tongue. There is obvious regret on your face.
“You know why I like you, y/n?”
“Why, Snafu?”
“Because your a smart, and extremely hot person. Someone who’s decent in this fucked up place. Take that as a compliment.”
“That was a lot to take in. Thanks, I guess?”
There was a silence, before Snafu broke it
“Would you wanna do this again by the way? Y’know, except without the fight. And when your not studying.”
A smile appeared on your face as you blew out cigarette smoke, “I’m free on Saturdays.”
“Then Saturday it is, darlin’ .”
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The Shadow and the Soul (Part Two)
A/N: So sorry this took so long, it’s a good chapter though! There’ll have to be a part three to wrap things up though.
Warnings: Jealousy, drinking, Smut (18+ only!), minimal editing
Word Count: 7000
Tag List: @r-ahh-mi, @sherlollydramoine,
During the next three days, she saw him occasionally, though there wasn’t much time to be alone, which meant that she was on her best behavior, smiling and chatting and making nice to whoever approached her, all the while stealing quick glances at him over her shoulder.
He mostly stayed near Gene, rarely leaving his side to mingle with the other guests, hovering like a shadow in the corner of the room, and though she couldn’t always tell, she liked to imagine that his eyes were fixed on her.
Aurelie had acquired a shadow as well, not that she was pleased about it. Sidney Phillips had taken to following her around, and while she found him perfectly pleasant, he wasn’t all that interesting. It didn’t help that they knew all the same people and had been doing most of the same activities for three days, which left them with little to talk about.
The weather-- excruciatingly hot with heavy air and bright sunlight-- was not enough to sustain all that much conversation, which meant that they either fell into long silences or Sidney tried to come up with something he could possibly fetch for her.
“Are you sure you wouldn’t like a glass of lemonade?”
She didn’t want one, which she’d told him moments earlier when he’d asked if she was thirsty, but she did want a moment alone. “Yes, please. Thank you Mr. Phillips.”
He nodded eagerly and left her in the garden to go find some. Aurelie felt like she could finally breathe now that he wasn’t next to her.
“Miss Aurelie.”
She turned sharply towards the voice. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t known Merriell was in the garden; usually she was keenly aware of his presence, as if she had a compass in her mind that only pointed towards him.
“Merriell,” She whispered, smiling at him. “How long have you been there?”
He was smiling slightly, looking down at her like he knew something she didn’t. “Long enough. I didn’t know I had competition.”
Glancing back at the house, Aurelie huffed a little bit. “You don’t.”
“Sledge likes him,” Merriell said, and she wondered if maybe there was a little bitterness in his voice. “Suppose he’s the sort you want your cousin marrying.” That time, she could definitely hear bitterness.
“If that’s the case, Gene knows less about his cousin than I thought.”
Slowly, Merriell leaned down and kissed her, and she shifted slightly so that her parasol would hide their activities from any curious eyes in the house.
“Does he kiss you like that?” He asked when they broke apart.
The idea that he might be jealous was a little flattering, but Aurelie wasn’t going to fan the flames. “He wouldn’t dare; it would be extremely inappropriate.”
“So what’s it when I do it?” He kissed her again and she laughed.
“Oh it’s still inappropriate, I’m just happy about it.”
He straightened up after a moment, glancing over her shoulder. “Your Beau is back.”
“He’s not my--”
Sidney stepped next to her, taking her elbow gently as he handed her a glass. “Here you are, Miss Aurelie.” He nodded once, tersely. “Shelton.”
“Phillips.”
There was an odd tension between the two that Aurelie couldn’t decipher. She might have thought it was jealousy and been worried that Sidney had seen something she didn’t want him to, but he wasn’t angry. No, it seemed almost as though he was scared of Merriell, or at least nervous around him.
“Miss Aurelie and I should be getting back inside,” Sidney said, steering her away from Merriell with a wildly untoward arm around her waist.
She glanced back at him with confusion and apology in her eyes, trying to squirm out of Sidney’s grip. “Excuse us, Mr. Shelton.”
He released her when they were a good distance away, but Sidney didn’t speak until they reached the house. “Was he… bothering you, Miss Aurelie?”
“Mr. Shelton? No, why on earth would you say so?” She pretended to be politely surprised at his words, hoping she might gain some insight into whatever had passed between the men.
He sighed, more agitated than she had ever seen him. “He’s not… I don’t think he’s quite right in the head, Miss Aurelie. You should be careful around him.”
“He’s been nothing but polite to me,” Aurelie said more stiffly than she meant to. “Gene said he was his friend.”
“They are friends, I think,” Sidney said. “Shelton saved his life or something, but there’s something odd about him. Even Gene thinks so, he’s just too nice to say anything about it. All I’m saying is that you should be careful, Miss Aurelie.”
“And I’m saying that you shouldn’t gossip, Mr. Phillips.” With that she stood and walked inside, retreating to her bedroom where Sidney wouldn’t dare follow.
Later on, a maid came to her room with a vase of flowers and a note. Seeing them, she knew instantly that they weren’t from Merriell; pink carnations were a flower for friendliness, not passion, and they were far too typical for someone like him.
When she opened the note, she noted Sidney’s signature with disinterest before reading it. “Miss Aurelie, please accept these as a token of my esteem, and allow me to express my apologies if I offended you earlier. I hope I will see you tomorrow evening at the ball in honor of my mother’s birthday. Sincerely yours, Sidney Phillips.”
So he really was courting her. Their mothers would be thrilled, but Aurelie felt nothing as she looked at the stilted, pleasant note. She wondered if he had even written it himself; it sounded far more formal than his usual relaxed speech.
She set the flowers on her dressing table and lay down on the bed, praying for some rest. When the maid came to call her for dinner, she feigned a headache and asked to be excused, escaping to the garden when she was sure everyone else was occupied.
It shouldn’t have surprised her to find him out there. He sat with his back against a tree, smoking and staring into the distance.
“You’re not at dinner,” She commented, joining him on the ground.
“Wasn’t invited,” He replied, not unpleasantly.
“Then what are you doing here?” She wondered.
He looked over at her, the barest hint of a smile tugging at his lips. “Looking for you.”
She felt herself blush and wished she had the ability to hide her emotions the way some of her friends could. “Really?”
He reached out with the hand that wasn’t holding the cigarette and twined his fingers with hers. “Did he say anything about me?”
Aurelie frowned. “Well, not precisely but--”
“What?”
“Merriell, it didn’t mean anything. He just said something about you being, oh it’s ridiculous, but he said you were dangerous.”
For a second, Merriell’s grip on her hand tightened, but he relaxed so quickly she thought she might have imagined it. “Do you think I am?”
She shook her head and leaned in closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. “No.”
Slowly, he pressed a kiss against her hair, tucking one finger under her chin so he could lift her face up and kiss her again on the mouth. “Let’s go,” He whispered.
Still somewhat dazed from the kiss, it took Aurelie a moment to decipher his words. “What? Go where?”
He laughed. “Have you seen the city yet?”
She wanted to say yes, but she knew that the glimpses she’d caught out carriage windows on the way to parties or to call on family friends didn’t count. “Not much of it but--”
“Then let’s go. I’ll wait here while you change.”
There were many arguments she could have made, and she knew that if she resisted, he would drop the subject entirely, but she didn’t want to resist. Her life was a perfect map of things that would happen someday.
Someday, a man would propose, and she would accept to make her parents happy.
Someday, she would have children with that man.
Someday, she would die after having never really lived at all.
So she stood up and ran back into the house, clumsily changing into the only comfortable dress she had. When she had finished struggling with all those buttons and ties, she put on a bonnet and carefully scrawled a note asking not to be disturbed so that she could be rested for the Phillips’ party tomorrow. She pinned the note to her door and returned to the garden, where Merriell was still waiting for her.
“Thought you might not come back.”
She took his hand. “Let’s go.”
After climbing out of the garden, he led her down streets and allies until they’d reached a bustling street, crowded with people and food carts, everyone shouting and selling something or pushing past to get home to their family and dinner.
Aurelie felt dizzy as she was swept up into the madness, clinging to Merriell’s arm as he led her confidently through the chaos. Before moving to New Orleans, she had lived in a town that never managed to be as lively as this, and the idea that so many people existed in the world felt like a surprise she should have known all along.
“What do you think?” Merriell asked, leaning in close so she could hear him over the sounds of the city.
“They all have lives,” She said, marvelling. “Everyone here has a life and a home and a family, a story and thoughts and ideas. Every person!” She felt like a child, wanting to spin around and soak in everything.
He laughed, giving her a look like he thought maybe she was the mad one, but he didn’t comment.
She had never been in a bar before, which he found funny enough that he was still laughing as he led her through the doors. She wondered if the people around her could tell that she didn’t belong here, that she had no idea what she was doing, but they all minded their own business, laughing to each other. No one seemed to even notice her.
Merriell returned and handed her a glass of amber liquid. “I bet you’ve never had that before, either.”
Of course she hadn’t had whiskey before. “My mother says it’s the devil’s drink,” She told him, smiling a little suggestively.
“Try it,” He challenged, lifting his own glass and taking a large sip.
Not to be outdone, Aurelie downed half of hers in one sip, then had to fight with herself not to choke as it burned all the way down.
Her eyes were watering by the time she had stopped coughing enough to breathe, and Merriell was obviously trying not to laugh at her.
She was used to wine, which was slow to take effect, stealing her balance gradually until the whole world had a slight spin to it. Whiskey was like being knocked off her feet; one second she was sober and rolling her eyes at some dumb joke Merriell had told and the next she was caught in a wave as the world spun around her, but all she wanted to do was laugh.
Merriell was more at ease here, his usual hint of a smile had widened into the real thing, to stunning effect. He also reached out and held her hand on top of the table, running his thumb over her bare skin in a way that made her shiver; she had forgotten her gloves at home.
The night felt like a story someone was telling her. She drank more whiskey, and when people pushed the tables out of the way and someone pulled out a fiddle, it felt perfectly natural to grip Merriell’s hands and swing onto the floor and into a dance whose steps she’d never learned, but which she knew by heart anyway.
The motion was dizzy and breathless and clinging to his warm skin seemed to be the only thing that kept her from floating away all together. When the music swirled, crashed, and finally ended, she fell against his chest, and in a sudden, perfectly clear moment, he kissed her.
She pulled away after enjoying it for only a moment. “Mer, we can’t, all these people--”
“They don’t know us, darling,” He murmured, lifting her hand and kissing each of her fingers. “This is New Orleans, we’re not the most interesting thing they’ll see tonight.”
Aurelie shivered, his words sending a shiver that was somehow warm down her spine. Ignoring the part of her that knew it was risky, she kissed him again, very softly, before pulling away. “I have to go home.”
He nodded and wove their fingers together, leading her off the dancefloor and onto the street. They walked in silence back to the Sledge’s house, back to her world. She was still drunk, but the recklessness had seeped out of her, leaving behind sadness.
Together, they circled the garden walls until they found an easy enough place to climb over it. She struggled, even in her smaller, more practical skirt, and he had to do most of the work in pulling her up.
“I’m sorry,” She whispered, not sure if she was apologizing for her lack of athleticism or for having to leave the party.
Merriell kissed her hand again and said nothing, leaping off the wall and into the garden. She hesitated before putting a careful foot on the ivy to climb down.
Her elegant shoes had not been made for this sort of thing and immediately slipped off of the narrow purchase the ivy offered, sending her hurtling towards the ground, but Merriell caught her. It would have been terribly romantic, even to Aurelie’s hardened heart, but the impact knocked him cleanly off his feet and onto the ground, with her a mess of skirts and limbs on top of him.
When she’d caught her breath, she started to shift, hoping to regain her footing, but the world was spinning from the whiskey and the fall and she hardly managed to prop herself up on her elbows.
Elbows that were resting on Merriell’s chest.
She was hovering over him, most of her body across his, their faces only breaths apart. In that moment, the only option was to kiss him, and it was perfectly natural when he sighed into it, burying his hands in her hair and pulling several of the pins loose.
Her tongue darted out, tasting the whiskey that lingered on his lips and in his mouth. He groaned, the sound so low it rumbled against her chest.
“Aurelie,” He whispered against her lips, his hands stroking her sides. He groaned again, rather than say whatever he’d been thinking, pulling her back for another kiss.
One of them should object. She knew that. They were in her family’s garden. They were too close to the house where her family and his best friend were staying, where anyone might happen to look out a window and see them. But when he shifted underneath her, giving her the faintest hint of friction, she only wanted more.
For several breathless, aching minutes they stayed like that, wrapped in each other’s arms, pressing lips against heated skin and always returning for another deep kiss until Merriell finally pulled away.
“You need to--”
“You’re right.” Her whisper was more because she hadn’t caught her breath than their need for secrecy.
He stood carefully and offered her his hand to get up. He looked perfect like that, a little rumbled and flushed with passion. Aurelie wanted nothing more than to pull him back down into the grass and see where they could let that passion lead them, but she knew she couldn’t.
When they reached her window, he once again had to help her climb up to her bedroom window, hauling her up once he’d gotten inside. He held her for a long moment in the darkness. She could feel his breath against her ear, and felt him tense after only a moment.
He stepped away from her, suddenly oddly stiff and too polite. “Goodnight, Miss Aurelie.”
Her name on his lips made her shiver, despite her hurt that he’d called her ‘Miss’ again, like they were mere aquaintences. “I’ll see you tomorrow, won’t I? At the Phillips’ ball? You’ll dance with me, won’t you?”
He shook his head. “Wasn’t invited. Goodnight.”
She grabbed his hand before he could leave her. “But what about-- I want to see you,” She finished lamely, unable to explain that she couldn’t bear the thought of another stuffy party without at least being able to see him across the room, or to let him hold her in the confines of an entirely appropriate waltz for a couple minutes. He wouldn’t see her in the pretty ballgown she would wear tomorrow, wouldn’t admire the way her hair seemed to glow in the candlelight.
Merriell stroked her hand with his thumb. “I’ll see you soon, Aurelie.”
“Promise me,” She pleaded.
He smiled. “I promise.” With one last kiss, he urged her onto the lattice leading up to her window and waited until she was safely in her room before he disappeared into the night.
It wasn’t until after he’d gone that she realized he had seen Sidney’s flowers in their place of honor on her table.
When she woke with an uncomfortably dry mouth and limbs that were just a bit too heavy, Aurelie tried to bring herself to regret any of her reckless actions from the night before, but she couldn’t do it. Even tired and a bit hungover, she was thrilled at her boldness.
Getting ready for a ball was an affair that took most of the day, so no one was surprised or suspicious that she asked to take her breakfast in her room. When there was a knock on the door, she opened it without hesitation, assuming it was the maid with her food.
But her cousin was standing there, holding the tray and looking a bit sheepish. “Morning, Rellie.”
“Gene,” She took a moment to recover, pulling her robe tighter around herself before she stepped aside so he could come in. “I… what are you doing here?” Family or not it was extremely unusual for a man to come to her bedroom for any reason, but especially in the morning, well before she could be expected to be presentable.
To his credit, he was obviously aware of this and mortified about it. “Well, I wanted to bring your food because I need to talk to you about something.”
He helped himself to a slice of her toast and sat down, gesturing for her to do the same.
“What is this about?” Her mind jumped to the perfect moment in the garden last night, cheeks flushing at the memory. Could he know?
“Sidney told me you were talking to Snafu.”
“Excuse me?”
“Shelton. We… back when we were fighting, we called him Snafu.” Gene rubbed the back of his neck, clearly regretting how he’d decided to have this conversation, which gave Aurelie some satisfaction.
“Why on earth would you do that?” It seemed an odd nickname under any circumstances, even the madness that the war had created.
“Because he wasn’t quite… right. In the head. Sidney said that the two of you looked… Friendly and I wanted to... ”
Aurelie pursed her lips. “I’m friendly to everyone, Gene. Mr. Shelton was only commenting on the weather. Perhaps Mr. Phillips is confused?”
It was obvious that Gene could tell she was putting on an act, but she hoped he couldn’t determine why. “Be careful around him, Rellie, he’s not…”
“What? Sane? Mr. Phillips said as much yesterday, but I’ll remind you, Eugene Sledge, that you’re the one who told me to seek him out in the first place.”
“I know, Rells, I know, but.” His hand darted up, mussing his auburn hair and leaving him looking even more boyish than usual. “But I saw him do things that…”
“What things, Eugene?” She crossed her arms over her chest, planting herself stubbornly.
He shook his head. “It’s not for a lady to hear--”
“Then you shouldn’t have brought it up. Mr. Shelton has been nothing but polite and civil to me, and I enjoy our conversations. I won’t suddenly start being rude just because you and Mr. Phillips have decided to tell stories.”
“I’m not just telling stories,” Eugene insisted, his accent thick with distress. “I’m trying to warn you. He… He used to steal from the dead, and sometimes-- Christ this’ll sound insane-- but sometimes I think he liked it. He liked killing them.”
She looked at him evenly. “They were rebels, Gene. They wanted to tear our country apart and thought owning folks was just fine. There’s nothing wrong with killing them, and honestly after everything they did, everything they took from me? I might enjoy killing them too.”
She stood, letting her dressing gown swing around her as she gestured to the door. “Good Day, Gene.”
“Rellie--”
She said nothing, only clenched her jaw and crossed the room to open the door. As Eugene passed her, he put a hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry, Rellie. I promise I’m just trying to do the right thing.”
Meeting his eyes, Aurelie tried to keep her voice steady. “Do you think he’s dangerous?” She couldn’t believe that Merriell would ever hurt her. The two of them had been alone in the city at night together; she couldn’t have been more vulnerable if she’d been trying, and he’d barely even been untoward, and even then just in ways she’d wanted.
Eugene stopped for a long moment, his forehead creased as he thought. “No, I don’t think so.”
When he left, Aurelie was forced to contemplate her relationship with Merriell in light of what Eugene had told her. As hard as she tried to picture him as the slightly mad, dangerous killer that her cousin had described, she just couldn’t do it. He was Merriell, her Merriell who found excuses to touch her, who didn’t care about the rules that so strictly governed her life, who watched her with such intensity that she swore she could feel it, who would never hurt her.
He would never hurt her.
Thinking about it like that, she was perfectly certain of it. Regardless of what he’d done during the war, he was certainly not dangerous now. The war was over, and she intended to leave whatever he’d done there in the past where it belonged.
Somehow, that made everything else that had been worrying her settle into place as well. Her future was decided in many ways, but she could still have this-- have him-- for the time being. For as long as he wanted her, they could steal time and be together. She was not yet old enough that her parents would demand that she marry, and though Sidney had implied interest, the rules of propriety would keep him from making a serious offer for several months at least. They had time, and Aurelie intended to use it.
She spent the rest of the day preparing for the ball, though her heart wasn’t in it and her mind was far away. In idle moments while in the bath or having her hair arranged, Aurelie found herself thinking about how it had felt when she’d fallen on top of him, the warm feel of his chest under her arms, the way his hands had felt steadying her waist.
She shivered a little despite the warm air, and her maid asked if she needed a wrap. Flushing slightly, Aurelie shook her head. “No, thank you.”
The final step, after she’d been pinched and pulled into a corset and all the essential undergarments, was to put on the gown. Though she had done this dozens of times and she mostly dreaded these parties, there was always a slight thrill when she felt a new gown settle around her.
This time, the quiet rustle of fabric was especially satisfying, as the war had made new gowns into a ridiculous luxury. This was the first one she’d had in years and though she might have chosen something slightly different if her mother hadn’t been hovering over her shoulder, pestering her the whole time, she still appreciated the cool green satin. Her mother had claimed it was exactly the right shade to make her yellowish hazel eyes look almost green, but Aurelie thought it clashed and made her hair look brighter.
These features weren’t proper or fashionable, which appealed to Aurelie’s rebellious nature; everyone around her could try all day and all night, but her hair and eyes and freckled skin would always be what they were. As she swept down the stairs, she saw her mother’s little smile which told her that she looked as good as she could, unfashionable coloring aside.
Gene offered his arm when she reached the bottom of the stairs and she took it, allowing him to lead her out to the carriage, and accepting his (admittedly needed) help getting inside. Her enormous skirt crowded him against the wall, though he wisely refrained from complaining as his parents joined them. Aurelie’s mother wasn’t feeling well and chose to remain at home.
Sidney was waiting at the door to his family’s ballroom. “Miss Aurelie, welcome. I’m so pleased you could make it tonight. Gene told me you weren’t feeling well last night?”
“Thank you for your concern, Mr. Phillips,” Aurelie demurred, “I’m quite well. It was only a headache.” She flushed, remembering what she’d done after making that excuse. “And thank you as well for the flowers; they were lovely.”
“Not as lovely as you, Miss Aurelie.” What might have sounded like flirting, flattering, or teasing from another man sounded scripted when Sidney said it, but Aurelie did the proper thing and laughed modestly into her fan as they walked further into the ballroom.
The conversation stalled, but thankfully the band started a new song, and Sidney had the presence of mind to bow and offer his hand. “May I?”
She nodded and took his hand, glancing behind her to see her Aunt Marie nudging her uncle and gesturing at them. The look of glee on her face was girlish and made Aurelie’s stomach twist. She really thought she was looking at a young couple, soon to be the talk of the city.
“Miss Aurelie?”
Shit. Sidney had been talking. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?”
“I was… I was trying to apologize for our conversation yesterday. I don’t want you to think that I have any… I’ll will for Mr. Shelton. He’s just--”
Just hearing his name had brought a blush to Aurelie’s cheeks. As they whirled past an open widow, she caught a whiff of the night air and it immediately brought her back to that night in the garden, laying against Merriell.
She needed to get herself together. Sidney was still apologizing and she had to force herself to pay attention to him. “It’s very noble that you want to help someone who helped your cousin, and I shouldn’t have tried to interfere.”
“Thank you for apologizing, Mr. Phillips.” She paused while he navigated her through a particularly difficult turn in the dance. “But there was no need; we should put it behind us.”
He nodded. “Of course. I only hope that it hasn’t… changed your opinion of me.”
“Of course not, Mr. Phillips.” She might have said more, but he interrupted.
“Please, call me Sidney. Our families are too close to stand on formality, don’t you think?”
“Oh. Well, um, I.” Aurelie paused and swallowed hard, unsure of what to say. Using his first name would send a signal to anyone who overheard their conversations. It was an intimate thing to do, usually reserved for couples that were engaged or very close friends.
“I’m not sure that would be appropriate, Mr. Phillips,” Aurelie said slowly. “I wouldn’t want to start talk.”
She had convinced herself that she and Merriell had time, but this was evidence that she was wrong, that things with Sidney were moving faster than she planned.
To his credit, he took her response well. “Of course, I didn’t mean to suggest--”
The music, and the dance, stopped, releasing them before he finished his sentence. He bowed and stepped away from her while she dropped into a curtsey.
The rest of the night was similar. Aurelie was shuffled from the arms of one dance partner to another as they each asked the same questions and had the same conversations. The only memorable event was one particularly terrible dance with a rebel whose stare gave her chills. Gene had to rescue her from him, which very nearly caused a scene.
When she finally returned home, Aurelie retreated to her room with barely a word to her relatives, feeling utterly drained and yet somehow not tired. Her room was dark and empty when she got there. The prospect of getting undressed on her own made her want to cry, but she hated to wake the maid so late, so she resolved to struggle with all those layers, buttons, and ties.
She lit a candle and started to tug at the back of her dress.
“Do you need help?”
Aurelie felt her heart leap and while her mind was still panicking, her body snapped into action, reaching for the letter opener on her desk.
He grabbed her, holding her against his chest and putting a hand over her mouth.
“Don’t scream, Darling, it’s me. It’s just me.”
She sagged in relief for a moment, then rounded on him. “Shit, Mer! You scared me! I thought--” Her mind flashed to the steely eyes of the rebel at the party. She had thought he was someone dangerous.
“I’m sorry,” He whispered, stroking her hair while her heart started to slow down.
“What are you doing here?” She hissed, feeling like she might cry as the panic started to subside. “I could have hurt you! During the war I carried a knife, you might have--”
“You keep a knife in this thing?” Merriell said, gesturing to her dress.
She chewed her lip. “No. Mama won’t let me anymore. She says I’m safe now that the war is over.”
Merriell didn’t respond to that, instead, he leaned in and kissed her, soothing away the last of her fear. “You said you wanted to see me. Yesterday.”
“I did. I do.”
He rested his forehead against hers, holding onto her waist, his hands burning through the cool satin. “I kept thinking of you at that party. With him. His hands on you, him holding you.” His eyes darted to Sidney’s flowers, still sitting on your table. “Did you dance with him?”
“Yes.” She didn’t want to encourage his foolish jealousy, however flattering it was, but she wouldn’t lie to him. “I thought about you.”
“I thought about you,” He echoed, holding her close. Carefully, he put one rough hand on her jaw, tilting her head up so he could kiss her. Very slowly, he reached up and started letting her hair out of its careful style, pulling each pin out and setting them on the desk.
When all of her hair was hanging in wild red tangles around her face, he pulled her in for another kiss. This time he buried both of his hands in her hair, kissing her passionately. “Beautiful,” He murmured into her lips.
She kissed him back, pouring everything she had into it, pressing as close to him as her full skirt would allow.
Merriell pulled away, leaving his hands on her hips as though he couldn’t be any further from her. “I only came here to see you. I’ll leave if you want me to.”
But Aurelie met his eyes boldly, unable to hold in a smile. “I thought you were going to help me out of my dress?”
He groaned very low in his throat and for a moment she thought he would resist, would cite Gene or Sidney or her status or any of the dozens of reasons that the two of them should not be meeting in the dead of night, in her bedroom.
But he didn’t. He kept his voice low, almost a growl as he leaned in so he was speaking directly into her ear. “Turn around.”
She did as he instructed, turning slowly until her back was to him. Her heart was pounding and she wondered if he could hear it in the silence of the room. His hands started at her shoulders, trailing over the daringly bare skin, tracing the lines of her bodice. Carefully, he starts to unlace it, tugging at strings and ties until he had removed her bodice and she was able to step out of the skirt.
Then he set to work on the next four layers of petticoat and crinoline, patiently removing them while occasionally dropping kisses on her shoulders, or pushing her hair over her shoulder so that he could kiss the back of her neck.
Finally, he was at the last two layers. She wondered if he was aching as much as she was, if his face was burning like hers, if he was shivering with anticipation despite his steady hands. They very slowly, very carefully unlaced her corset and let it drop.
Aurelie took a deep breath-- her first of the night-- feeling the rush of oxygen go straight to her head and make her just slightly dizzy. She was breathless again a moment later when Merriell pulled her against his chest.
He was warm against her bare skin, even through his clothes and she swallowed hard, trying to control her reactions as he ran his hands up her sides, slowly skimming over her breasts.
“Tell me you want me to leave,” He whispered into her ear.
She shivered, pressing back against him. “Don’t. Please don’t.”
He bent over her, kissing her shoulder and taking a slow breath as if he were savoring the scent of her. “Aurelie, I don’t… I’m not your husband. You--” He hesitated, and the full meaning of what he was trying to say, trying to do, hit her.
“Merriell.” She turned and reached up to run her fingers through his thick hair. “Are you trying to protect my virtue?” He nodded. “There’s nothing to protect, Mer.”
A flush crawled up her neck and into her cheeks as she watched him process her words. Unable to bear the silence, she explained, stumbling over her words. “I-- This wouldn’t be my first time, Mer. There was a boy, during the war. He and I had known each other for a long time. He was leaving the next day and… I’m sorry. You aren’t my first.”
Merriell laughed and pressed his lips against hers. “You’re not my first either.”
“Oh.”
It was finally his turn to look embarrassed. “The were… ladies at the camps sometimes--”
Aurelie laughed a little at his attempt at delicacy. She was well familiar with stories of General Hooker’s ladies, who made a living following the army. He stopped trying to explain when she kissed him again, only leaning back so she could ask, “Do you still want to leave?”
“I never wanted to leave, just thought you deserved better.”
“I want you.” Whatever his idea of better was, she didn’t share it. All she wanted was him.
With that, he gripped her hips and pulled her flush against him, kissing her hard and slipping his tongue between her lips when she gasped. She rocked her hips against him on instinct and felt a groan rumble through his chest.
“Aurelie,” He whispered against her jaw as his lips travelled down towards her throat.
She was writhing in his arms seeking more sensation, more heat while his hands kept her as close to him as he could. Fumbling slightly, distracted by his lips, she tried to get his shirt off.
Finally, he couldn’t reach anything else while still standing, and he dropped to his knees in front of her. “Was he good?” He asked, looking up at her while his thumbs traced small circles on her hips.
“What?” Her voice was breathless and thin.
“That boy, your first. Was he good? Did he treat you well?”
Aurelie swallowed hard, trying to collect her thoughts. It had been ages since she’d thought about Daniel. “He was careful not to hurt me,” She said.
Merriell frowned, shaking his head. “It’s not supposed to just not hurt. It’s supposed to feel good.” Leaning forward, he kissed her stomach.
She looked down at him, his shirt half off, his hair a mess, his face so close to her skin she could feel his breath. Heat pooled in her center and pulsed at her core. “Show me.”
Smiling, he ducked his head between her thighs, kissing her there and running his tongue along her core. Aurelie gasped, falling forward slightly so that she had to grip his shoulders to balance. He went slow, tasting every part of her, only stopping to focus on the sensitive bud at the top of her slit that made her feel like she was melting into the floor.
It only took a few moments for her to be gasping and whimpering with his touch and his tongue. It was unlike any experience she’d ever had, new and strange and perfect as the heat curled in her chest, twisting together so tight she thought she might burst.
“Please, Mer, please,” She begged, not even sure what she was asking for.
Whatever it was, he seemed to know, and he circled the bud with his tongue while slowly sliding two fingers into her. “That’s it,” He whispered, sitting back so he could watch her. “That’s it, darling, let go.”
She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to let go of, but when he returned his mouth to her, she felt that amazing tension snap and release. The wave was so powerful it nearly knocked her off her feet as he knees gave out while he kept licking her.
When the wave had subsided, she was practically collapsed on top of him, a turn of events he didn’t seem to mind as he stroked her hair. She pulled at his shirt, still clumsy but finally able to get rid of the damn thing.
She moved on to his pants, undoing the button to start working them off. He stopped her hands. “We don’t have to.”
“Mer, how many times do I have to tell you I want this?” She kissed him again. “I want you. Are you going to make me beg?”
He shook his head. “No, though that might sound nice.” He helped her get his pants off and then lifted her bridal style to carry her to the bed.
Carefully, he set her down on the bed and climbed in after her. Sensing that he was about to hesitate again, Aurelie pulled him close and kissed him. “Please,” She whispered.
He groaned, pressing his forehead against hers. “I’d give you anything.”
Rolling so that he hovered over her, he leaned in close, kissing her softly as he lined up with her entrance and slowly sank into her.
Aurelie let out a gasp and a soft moan, digging her nails into his back as her hips jerked towards him. She saw his face crease together at the sensation, watched each expression flit across his face as he pulled out and sank back in.
“So beautiful,” He sighed, thrusting in again. “So perfect.”
She jerked her hips up again, rolling them experimentally to see how he reacted. The roll felt good so she did it again, grinding against his hips and pulling him even deeper inside her.
“Oh, fuck,” She muttered, rocking again and urging him to give her more.
He smiled against her lips. “Don’t think that’s a word a lady should use.”
Planting one hand on his ass, she pulled him sharply into her while she kept her eyes locked on his. “If you want me to be ladylike, we’ll have to stop doing this.”
“Please,” He said, almost broken. “Don’t. I don’t want to stop.”
“I want more,” She told him, and he happily gave it to her, thrusting into her harder and she felt the heat coil again in her stomach. It didn’t take long for it to snap again and she let the waves of pleasure roll over her while she moaned his name.
He went faster, harder, kissing her hard enough to sting until he finally pulled out and spilled on her stomach. His breathing was labored as he dropped next to her, pulling her into a sloppy kiss. “So beautiful,” He murmured.
After a slow, lazy moment of catching their breath, he stood and grabbed a rag from her table, bringing it back so he could clean her up. “Thank you,” She said, stretching lazily and rolling over.
Merriell got back into bed with her after discarding the rag. He pulled her body against his, kissing her. “I was going to leave, you know,” He said.
Aurelie was already falling asleep but she was awake enough to ask, “What?”
“That night, at the party. I was thinking about leaving. Sledge had done his best, but this place isn’t for me. These people… I’m not one of them, Aurelie. He wanted me to stay because everyone else wanted him to be the same as he used to be.”
“I don’t,” Aurelie said, rousing slightly. “I know the war changed him--”
He kissed her. “I know. I’m not who I used to be either. Thought maybe the new me might be able to live like that, but… I couldn’t. I was going to walk away, just vanish into the night without saying goodbye, but then I saw you.”
She felt herself blush.
“Do you believe in love at first sight?”
“No.”
“Neither do I. But I wanted to know you from the moment I looked at you, Aurelie.” He kissed her again, gathering her into his arms. “I’ll be here for as long as you want me.”
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