There’s something so important about Gillion - who never heals himself, who rushes into danger, who hides his wounds- facing death and realizing he isn’t unafraid as he was raised to be. He uses his magic on himself to help with the exhaustion, to keep his life intact. And still he tries to comfort Jay and Chip while he’s coherent, being realistic about his chances but refusing to make it painful. Wanting their possible last moments to be light, to be about seemingly inconsequential things, small favorites that still mean the world to him purely because they’re Chip and Jay’s favorites. And then when all is said and done, he makes a raccoon for Jay. He talks about raspberries for Chip. He uses his last saved up arcane energy to try desperately to stay awake, and it works, and it saves him in the final hour.
It’s just. There’s something about how he hasn’t had a chance to rest since the Feywild, really, truly rest. How this whole time he’s been down on himself and taking extreme risks. And now, at what might be the end of it all, he realizes he doesn’t want to die. He wants to live. And not to be able to save others, not to fulfill his destiny, not out of obligation to anyone else - but purely for himself. For all the little things. And though it’s not quite healing in the literal term, his nearly final act was spent trying to save himself - and it worked.
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Was originally going to write this as a comment elsewhere, but uh. Have some thoughts on Double Life Scott and Pearl. This may be slightly controversial? If you disagree that's fine by me, we're all entitled to our own opinions, especially on topics with nuance!
I usually find people going way too easy on Double Life c!Pearl and too hard on Double Life c!Scott.
Was Scott a good person? A good soulmate, for that matter? No! But Pearl wasn't those things either. They were mutually abusive to one another throughout the season. I will say that I think Pearl was less bad, but there are so many people who just... completely dismiss Scott's end of things.
Scott: Caused harm to himself to harm Pearl (though at a consistently safe time to do so, at the start of the session, via a single axe crit), and spoke about Pearl quite awfully (calling her his "crazy ex", etc.)
Pearl: Caused harm to herself (far more sporadically than Scott, via "tickles" from the powdered snow every now and then), and took unnecessary risks just because she could
Honestly, I don't blame Scott for "abandoning" her in the beginning. Like, for him, it would have been a reasonable assumption that she and Martyn would continue to stick together. Scott wasn't leaving her alone, he was leaving her with Martyn, choosing instead to stay with Cleo--the one who actually stuck by him while their soulbounds were off in the nether doing who knows what (which turned out to be gathering resources, even though the main resources you might want to go to the nether for, potion making supplies, are useless in a season where potions are banned). Scott is not to blame for Martyn's agency. It was Martyn who decided to blame Pearl (even though the big problem, the nether trip, was his idea), it was Martyn who left her alone. (Also, it may be worth mentioning that I'm pretty sure it was Cleo's idea for her and Scott to stay together? Please correct me if I'm wrong on that, again it's been a while.)
(EDIT: Cleo did in fact suggest it! They said "We should form an alliance against them." It was a little bit of a joke, but they both seriously agreed to it. Still worth noting that it was Cleo's idea for them to stay together.)
Again, I feel the need to emphasize that c!Scott is not a good person. He becomes abusive to Pearl, who also becomes abusive, and they abuse one another from afar. Or when they talk to one another. They are awful to each other. It is a mutual thing, and I find that not enough people acknowledge that. They both suffered as the other's soulbound.
It's really, really important to remember that the Life Series--Double Life especially--is FULL of nuance when you look at it from a storytelling perspective. The Life Series has no real heroes, and no real villains. Only people doing their best to ensure the survival of their team and/or themselves. Scott and Pearl both had thoughts about what was best, and those thoughts clashed this season, leading them to clash with one another.
Really, I think that adds another layer to their ending. Scott, in his way, forgives Pearl through a show of loyalty and fairness he only gives to allies, conceding the true victory to her unprompted, and Pearl in turn forgives Scott. This only happens when there's nothing left but each other. They are finally on the same wavelength again, with no Cleo to sway Scott away from Pearl and no Martyn to deal the final blow to shatter Pearl's heart. It's just Gatekeep and Girlboss, truly together for a brief time, anger and animosity put aside. The Stars welcoming The Moon to join him in the night sky, where they can try again. Tilly death did they part, yes, but in parting they were set free from each other, and they were able to mend their connection on their own terms.
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JACK THE GIANT KILLER
originally this was a kind of personal visual vibe test: I'm still turning some thoughts around about jack in my head (altho I have finished assembling the skeleton of a story and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens when I start to press at it) but I really liked how it turned out so I'm posting it as it's own illustration :)
the first post about this idea is over here, but I've fine tuned it down a bit so that the story begins with jack finding the body of a giant while he's out in the woods one day, and the story spirals out of hand before he can stop it.
it's been interesting to read up on jack tales from a literary analysis point of view while I figure this story out!! and through the power of more coffee, I think. I'm close to pinning down an underlying theme I'd really like to bite into. I just need to condense it down to a couple of sentences instead of several paragraphs.
and to close this post out, here's another excerpt from the j.g. ballard's the drowned giant that haunts me!
bsky ⭐ pixiv ⭐ pillowfort ⭐ cohost ⭐ cara ⭐ ko-fi
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