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nightmare-foundation-2 · 3 months

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Am I the only one that disagrees with peoples perception of Oz being that he's a religious paranoid zealot out to destroy and demonize Salem??

Because,, I really never got that kind of vibe from Oz. Oz is a lot of things- bitter, cynical- but what he is NOT is a religious fanatic who follows the GoL without question.

At first, yes he was willing to follow the GoL's orders with little argument.

But did everyone just,, forget,, that he flat-out originally said NO to the God of Light with no hesitation just because he thought Salem wasn't alive?? Like. He straight up said that he basically DOES NOT CARE about the world (and by extension, the gods) if she's not in it.

And when he found out Salem was alive? He completely ignored the GoLs actual warning, the only thing he SHOULD have listened to. He only accepted the GoLs order because Salem was there. That's it.

That... doesn't tell me he's a zealot blindly following the God of Light.

And about trying to follow through with his task, yes it's bc the GoL told him to. But he's not a fanatic.

The only reason he originally wanted to destroy Salem (which was probably a last resort to him, lbr) was because she was actively working AGAINST him. She hurt him DEEPLY by incidentally killing their kids and him (which, yes, she killed their kids, she attacked first for no reason without trying to talk to him), so naturally he's going to see her in a not-so-good light.

As for Oz being paranoid, it's reasonable he would be. He doesn't know which Grimm is hers, which Grimm was deliberately sent, what events are because of her, etc. There's NO WAY to tell at all. He HAS to be vigilant, because if he isn't, people DIE.

And he isn't demonizing her for no reason. This entire time, Salem has been vying for the destruction of Remnant. Whatever her reason is doesn't matter, that's what she wants. If she really wanted to just bring the Gods back to defeat them, she could've easily communicated this to Oz and worked WITH him instead of against him. Not only that, but she destroyed 3 Academies and is responsible for hundreds if not thousands of deaths, everyone from the guilty to innocent, from elders to children. And it's HEAVILY implied that she started the Great War ("no one knows who shot first" <- in stories that implies the third party, the antagonist, caused it, and Oz was still fighting her then), which resulted in possibly MILLIONS of deaths.

There's also nothing to even imply that she grieved for her daughters' deaths. It's explicitly stated that OZ grieved and drowned his sorrows with alcohol, when Jinn easily could've mentioned if both of them grieved. Oz was, and likely still is, deeply traumatized by his and Salems first fight.

The reason Oz sees her as a manipulative monster is because that's what she currently IS. She tortured Cinder after she disobeyed Salem and manipulated her right after, told Tyrian she was extremely disappointed in him knowing it would hurt him deeply, used Hazels sister to manipulate and keep him on her side EVEN WHILE fighting him- there's probably a million more examples that I can't think of right now. She deliberately uses the broken and hurt of society for her own gain and keeps them broken.

Because of this, in her songs Sacrifice and Divide, she projects HARSHLY onto Oz. Everything she says Oz does is what SHE does- she lies, manipulates, gets people's hopes up only to crush them. She sees humanity 2.0 as nothing more than pawns to use, that she and Oz are the only players. So she thinks that Oz MUST be the same, right? They're both immortal, the only 'true' people, why wouldn't he??

So Salem doesn't TRULY understand Oz in my opinion.

But I really think that Oz DOES understand Salem, at least better than Salem 'understands' him.

Oz... is definitely disillusioned in the Gods. He refers to his immortality as a curse despite the GoL delivering it as a blessing. He's pretty much given up on not just destroying Salem, but also on his task (he straight up said he has no plan when Ruby asked him). He's bitter and no doubt angry. If he was so zealous in his love for the Gods, why would he refer to a blessing as a curse? Why would he give up on his task? Why would he refer to them as essentially people who get into petty fights? To an actual zealot, that would be extreme blasphemy and heresy.

I really do think Oz understands Salems dislike for the Gods. Maybe not at first, not entirely, but now he definitely does. The only thing is that he's not willing to crush people under his boot like Salem does just to get that point across.

I definitely don't think they could ever work together, but mostly because of Salem. Salem views herself as completely separate and better than humanity and hates everything Oz is responsible for. Oz was likely willing to compromise with her, but he didn't like how she did things (like being a tyrannical dictator). And now that Salems done so much damage to him and everyone else, I highly doubt Oz would ever be willing to work with her, same thing with Salem.

To be clear, I don't think Salem was always evil or manipulative nor that Oz is perfect. Salem was, at one point, just a grieving woman who loved her husband enough to go against the Gods because of it. But I think time and constant fighting jaded and twisted her. Oz too- he's had to do things he's not proud of, made mistakes that blew up in his face, hurt people without meaning to. But time also changed him, and he's learning because of Oscar as well as teams RWBY and JNPR.

Ultimately, I don't think Oz is the zealot people think he is. He's not evil, and Salem isn't good or remotely sympathetic anymore. Salem doesn't understand Oz as much as she likes to think she does, but Oz understands her and not only does he hate it, but it scares him.

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heathtalbot · 4 months

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( EMILIO SAKRAYA, 21, CISGENDER MALE, HE/HIM ) Is that HEATH TALBOT? A SENIOR originally from SAN JOSE, CA, they decided to come to Ogden College to study COMMUNICATIONS. They're THE MALINGERER on campus, but even they could get blamed for Greer's disappearance.

THE BASICS:

FULL NAME: Heath James Talbot

NICKNAMES: None, he's just Heath

AGE & BIRTHDAY: 21 & March 24, 2002

ZODIAC: ☼ Aries ☾ Leo ↑ Pisces + full chart

MBTI & ALIGNMENT: ESFP & Neutral Evil

+ TRAITS: Intrepid, Optimistic, Honest, Sociable

- TRAITS: Temperamental, Obtuse, Unreliable, Domineering

HOUSING: TBA

MAJOR: Communications

EXTRACURRICULARS: Member of SAE, Golf, Powerlifting Team, Rock Climbing Team

CHARACTER INSPIRATIONS: TBA

THREE SKILLS: excellent at picking out apology gifts, can successfully parallel park anywhere, weirdly good at walking on his hands

LINKS: Pinterest / Playlist / Tasks

AT OGDEN:

RELATIONSHIP TO GREER: COLLEGE FRIENDS

Heath couldn't say exactly when or where he met Greer, all the finnicky details lost to the chaotic blur that had been rush week, but when he woke up with her contact info in his phone one morning, it definitely felt like it was meant to be. Both freshmen, both rich and pretty -- what more motivation did they need? C'mon, it would've been weirder if they weren't friends! Just like the rest of the Ogden masses, Heath was dragged into Greer Morrison's gravitational pull, and he went willingly. They started linking up on the regular, meeting up at parties or catching each other on down days around campus, building a strong friendship that he's never once thought to second-guess.

EMBODIMENT OF HIS TROPE: THE MALINGERER

Everyone has known a Heath. The no-show with a great excuse. The guy that never fails to charm his way into the group project with the smartest student. A person who's probably never seriously been told 'no' even once in their life. And it's not luck, either; it's privilege. Heath can rest on his laurels all thanks to the Talbot family name and the achievements of those around him. The third son, he's never felt the pressure of expectation. His mother babies him while simple participation trophies earn him congratulations from his father, allowing him every easy win that he chooses to take. And if he ever faces a roadblock? Heath's positive that there's a way around it. A check to write, a phone call to make, red tape to ignore. Everyone else has always pulled the strings for him, anyway, so why should he start worrying now? Life's a breeze when you don't have to seriously think about anything!

BACKGROUND & DETAILS:

heath was an unexpected baby, the product of a long-term (and still on-going) affair of his mother's. his parents privately maintain a pseudo-open relationship while publicly playing house for the sake of each of their careers. needless to say, family dinners have a tendency to get Weird

his dad is a venture capitalist, very much in the same vein as gavin belson of silicon valley -- he's long since lost touch with his coder roots and mostly just throws his money around to keep his name relevant in tech circles.

heath interns frequently at the companies his dad owns, true nepo baby shit 🥰 but lbr all he does is go on coffee runs and clocks in for 4 hour work weeks

he's currently majoring in communications bc he legit googled "easiest college majors" and it was near the top of the list

started out trying to major in engineering??? who let him do that?? freshman year was rough 😔

anyway yeah, heath's..... not that smart. and to make matters worse, he's sensitive about it!! gets mean when he's confused or frustrated, esp when he feels like he's being teased and not in on the joke. he's got a short fuse after a lifetime of his older brothers picking on him. he'd rather be perceived as rude than dumb

big time gym bro (obviously) and v competitive -- tends to favor solo sports bc at least when he loses it's no one's fault but his own

has a terrible habit of making big promises and not keeping them

he was soooooooo obsessed w/ uncut gems when it came out, i just FEEL it

julia fox = dream woman

brings a certain "haha.. okay" energy to the function

both of his older brothers previously attended ogden (5+ years ago, i'm still iffy on exact ages) and pledged SAE. naturally, heath had to do the same <3

ngl he's very easily swayed by public opinion. critical thinking?? we don't know her!

lowkey has a childhood dream to one day climb mount everest. pls don't try to explain to him how it negatively impacts the environment, he doesn't wanna hear it and won't understand (or care rip)

probably pre-games while listening to drake lmfao

POTENTIAL CONNECTIONS:

FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS !!!!!!!!

people who have been saddled with him for group projects, study groups, etc.

heath doesn't do drugs (he's a keg stand champ tho), so someone to smoke him out for the first time! fs would be a hilar thread

with ogden being full of bad daddies, i'd love for him to have this energy with someone xx

..... also this

anyone he fucked around with over the summer!! i'd luv to hc some juicy goss for him from the break

someone who always calls him keith lmfaooo

maaaaaaaybe his baby sister?? she'd be going into her sophomore year and i have many family hc's to discuss, so <3

an ex who made him paranoid abt astrology stuff sjdjsdkn

someone that he's using and/or leading on

flip the script - someone who's using and/or leading him on!

literally anything else ur heart desires 💖 this will be heath's fourth year at ogden, so we have plenty of wiggle room to plot some crash-and-burn relationships, seething rivalries, situationships, etc. -- i'm down for it all!!

#ogdenintro #this is a MESS

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yamalegacy · 3 years

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can you do nsfw headcanons with mt lady please?

can i? can i do n/sfw hcs for one of my favourite characters? of fucking course i am! and i will happily do so bc i'm big time horned monster for lil miss mt lady! and well, since i didn't know where to start, in true super extra french fashion, went overboard and finished the n/sfw alphabet for her 💛

i’d already done a, d, l, m, t, y but i added them to this post so that i can have a full alphabet in one post!

cw: mentions of dom/sub dynamics, rough sex, threesomes, dry humping, finger sucking and slight oral fixation probably, mentions of so many things tbh. yū is a brat. also, pubic hair and stretch marks? idk man

⚠️ MDNI not so casual reminder for minors to not interact with this post ⚠️

A — AFTERCARE ( what are they like after sex? )

she is a bottom through and through and a pillow princess, so get ready to have to take care of her because she gets even lazier than usual after a good fuck. she can get whiny and demanding, asking for a bath or tea or both, but you’ll always be rewarded with cuddles and kisses. if she doesn’t fall asleep, that is.

B — BODY PART ( which body part do they like the most? )

big time ass and thighs girl right here. she enjoys a handful (or two handfuls, you know), girl loves a shapely ass that feels nice in her hands. she can’t keep her hands off of a nice ass.

C — CUM ( any headcanon about cum )

she complains a lot about basically all things cum related at first lbr, not to the point of complaining about going down on you (well, depending on how much you come, really...). it’ll take a while for yū to accept to kiss you after you eat her out, but you’ll catch her moaning at the taste of her own arousal more than once. and well. maybe sucking on your fingers after you fucked her turns her on a whole fucking lot. don’t expect her to admit it out loud tho.

D — DREAMS ( do they have sex dreams? what kind? how do they react? )

fairly regular kinky dreamland visitor. yū hates her sex dreams though. she always wakes up just when things are getting good, so she wakes up wet, needy and desperate every time. if you aren’t sleeping together that night, she’ll send you messages to complain, or even call you, hoping for a quickie over the phone. if you’re in her bed, she won’t care what time it is, she’ll wake you up and demand that you make her come. if you ignore her and go back to sleep, be ready to deal with a grumpy pro hero all day long (poor kamui woods has heard her complain about it way too many times and wishes he could forget everything she’s told him, especially that one time she dreamed about a threesome with you and him).

E — EXPERIENCE ( how much experience do they have? )

a lot less than you’d expect her to. yū is still young and she’s been extremely busy trying to become a pro hero so she hasn’t had that much time to experiment. she’s had a few partners, but it’s mostly been vanilla experiences for her.

F — FAVORITE POSITION ( what is their favorite sex position? )

she likes when things are close and personal, so missionary is always good with her, honestly. she loves being able to see your face and kiss you when you fuck her. yū also enjoys being bent over your lap, so that you can fuck her with your fingers and pull at her hair — learn how to multi-task, my friend, and she’ll be putty in your hands.

G — GRAB ( where do they like to have their hands on you the most? )

ass ass ass. thighs. ass. there’s very few things that yū loves more than a good ass and she will never stop touching it when it’s within her reach. when she is acting jealous or possessive, she tends to grab you by the wrists. if she’s still feeling possessive when you get home, she will crawl on top of you and keep her fingers wrapped around your wrists for a while, and then intertwine your fingers. yū has a habit of squeezing, it’s a way for her to make sure that you’re there, with her, that you aren’t going to go away.

H — HOT & BOTHERED ( what are they like when turned on? )

oh boy. is she a wild one! no matter what, she will be needy, but it might manifest in two very different ways. 1) she’ll give you the cold shoulder and pretend that she totally isn’t horny and desperate, she’s stubborn like that, but she sucks at hiding those things from you; she always presses her thighs together, that’s her biggest tell 2) she’ll just outright initiate intimacy, kiss your neck, straddle your lap and grind on your thigh.

I — INTIMACY ( how caring are they during/after sex? )

yū isn’t exactly the most gentle of lovers in general, even outside of your sex life. she is good with gentle touches, like caressing you, touching your hair, but when it comes to sex... little miss pillow princess expects you to take care of her. and she can be pretty demanding about it. but her habit of holding your hands is one of the ways she shows she cares.

J — JACK OFF ( any masturbation headcanon )

when adrenaline sets down after a day at work, yū needs the release more than anything, it’s also a really good way for her to relieve some stress. being a pro hero isn’t easy every day after all! she tends to want to make it quick because she doesn’t have all that much patience, which is exactly why she avoids penetration when touching herself; she’s all about rubbing her clit and vibrators — and she knows how to make it rough and quick.

K — KINK ( favorites? which ones do they keep secret? )

(semi) public sex, edging, overstimulation and multiple orgasms. dominance and any display of dominance that might be associated with a dom/sub dynamic, really. yū is a sub and it shows. she’ll complain about orgasm control because she’s not getting the release she needs, but it’s one of her favorite things. she has a bit of an oral fixation, bit of an obsession with sucking your fingers and licking them clean after you’ve fucked her, but she... well, she doesn’t want to admit it tho. it’s not that much of a secret since it’s become extremely obvious to you. on the other hand, she wouldn’t mind trying some roleplay/petplay and a bit more of degradation, but she sure af would mind saying it out-loud.

L — LOCATION ( what is their favorite place to have sex? )

being the pillow princess that she is, yū will always favor a comfortable bed over anything else, but it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t enjoy sex in other places. the two of you have become well acquainted with the couch at her agency (which has led to some awkward situations when you realized too late that you weren’t actually alone in the building).

M — MOTIVATION ( what turns them on? )

extremely sensitive and painfully easy to turn on. you barely have to try to turn her on most of the time, really. run your fingers on her inner thighs, grab her by the waist, whisper in her ear about what you want to do to her and she’ll be ready to go. yū will complain a lot if you do it in public, but that’s only because it gets her turned on in record time! hearing your voice, your praises, spurs her on better than anything else.

N — NOPE ( any turn offs or hard limits? )

she is a bit claustrophobic and her quirk makes it dangerous for her to feel trapped, which is why you have a safeword. she doesn’t like being handcuffed or tied down unless she knows she has an easy way out. she likes when you sit on her face, but not for too long, for the same reasons.

O — ORAL ( do they like giving or receiving? a preference? )

yū is an oral enthusiast, of course. she prefers receiving (she isn’t a pillow princess for no reason), but she enjoys pleasing you and being good for you, so there’s not a doubt she enjoys going down on you.

P — PACE ( fast or slow? )

her impatience makes it harder for her to enjoy slow at times. she wants it hard and fast (partly because it’s much easier than dealing with feelings). and well, when you take it slow and edge her... she is so sensitive that she’s come without permission on accident more than once because she just can’t control it. fast is easier because then she knows you just expect her to come.

Q — QUICKIE ( are they up for a quickie? )

always. all the time. never not up for a quickie.

R — ROMANCE ( do they like romantic gestures to set the mood? )

while she likes the idea on paper, the whole concept of taking the time to enjoy the moment, have nice scented candles and a warm bath, and she might put some effort into it when she has days off tbh. but it’s mt lady we’re talking about, you should know better than to expect all that romance fantasy! yū still knows how to surprise you from time to time.

S — STAMINA ( how long can they last? )

yū is a pro hero. she has years of training behind her and regularly works up to stay in shape, so she definitely has the stamina to go several rounds! but depending on how tiring her day has been. honestly, she might not make it to a first orgasm one some days, but those are rare occasions.

T — TALK ( what is their dirty talk like? )

yū isn’t necessarily the best with words; she’s all for kisses and touches. but if you’re touching her the right way, she’ll tell you how good you are. she won’t hesitate to tell you that she’s all yours and that she’s wet just for you.

U — UNFAIR ( how much do they tease? )

this woman. she knows your weaknesses, she knows what turns you on, what makes you want her the most. she likes to provoke more than to really tease; she wears the outfits that you love the most on her, the cute bras that push her tits up just right, the pretty sets of lingerie that she’s bought to look nice for you. if she’s feeling mean, she’ll swat your hands away when you try to touch her, but honestly, it won’t last long because. well. once again, yū is extremely impatient and there’s no much that can be done about it.

V — VOLUME ( how loud are they? )

makes a lot of noises but isn’t super loud in general. moans and whines, a lot of them. she makes the prettiest noises, honestly.

W — WILD CARD

you can't tell me that with her quirk she doesn't have stretch marks. she kinda hates them and is glad that her hero costume hides them, but seriously, just take a minute to kiss them and run your fingers over them. funnily enough, while she hates her own stretch marks, she could spend hours appreciating yours.

X — X-RAY ( any headcanon about their bodies and grooming habits )

yū takes really good care of herself and her body — she doesn’t like to shave everything off when it comes to her pubic hair, she keeps it clean and trimmed tho. she has very nice ethics when it comes to her appearance. shaves, no waxing, she hates the idea of having to go to a salon and have a stranger touch her, even if it’s their job.

Y — YEARNING ( how desperate do they tend to be? )

mt. lady is queen of yearning. she’s also queen of pretending that she doesn’t miss you all the time. if work takes over her life for a few days and she can’t see you for a while, you can expect her to just be glued to you the second she sees you again. she’ll be extra needy and probably want to ride your thigh. she wouldn’t be able to let you go. and yet she’ll try (and fail) to pretend like she didn’t miss you and wasn’t desperate to feel you again.

Z — ZZZZ… ( how quickly do they fall asleep? )

well... it’s happened a few times that she fell asleep embarrassingly quickly after an orgasm... let’s say you’ve stopped counting how many times she’s fallen asleep with your fingers in her mouth.

#mha x reader #mha x you #bnha x reader #bnha x you #mha smut #bnha smut #mt lady x reader #⛰️ takeyama yu ( mt lady )#⚠️ mdni ⚠️#🍌 headcanons

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curiosity-killed · 3 years

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hua cheng, the accidental person

okay this is for @bodhimcbodeface because i can’t shut up and make this concise enough for discord. spoilers ahead yeehaw

this is...not comprehensive. i’ve written 11 tgcf fics and am generally a bit fixated on Hua Cheng as a character so. there’s definitely things missing but i tried to hit the main points that i thought of while writing? also obviously this is just my interpretation! i do not expect anyone else to be like “ah yes curio the sage is so correct i have changed my thinking on this” like go live your life with your own versions of hua cheng! this is just the hill upon which i have firmly planted myself and from which i refuse to be budged. as u do.

anyway, LONG explanation of my very niche and very uh self-indulgent, not-necessarily-support-by-canon hua cheng apologism LMAO

tl;dr: (this is really Too Long i’m sorry) I think Hua Cheng reluctantly becomes a person during his 800 years of searching, starting from a point where he views Xie Lian not as a person but as an immutable god and focus of devotion and developing into a person who doesn’t really acknowledge that he’s a person because realizing that you want to live and do things for yourself is scary and overwhelming at times, and he ultimately falls in love with Xie Lian during the novel itself as he recognizes and is in wonder of the humanity of Xie Lian instead of his divinity or absolute judgment.

POINT 1: Hua Cheng doesn’t actually fall in love with Xie Lian till the ox cart

but curio! you say, “my beloved!” he calls him his beloved! and the land of tender!!

shhh. IMO Hua Cheng is more Wuming than Hua Cheng for those 800 years. By which I mean, for most of that time he’s, at his heart, a nameless soldier trying to find and serve his crown prince/general/god. He still views Xie Lian as this perfect and immaculate figure—a sculpture, a painting, a work of art that is untouchable and immutable. And he’s utterly and wholly devoted to that figure but devotion is not the same as love

So Hua Cheng is searching and trying to serve Dianxia all these years and then His Royal Highness finally ascends and is a god again and Hua Cheng shows up in all his glory to give this power and strength and wealth to serve him and—

and he’s met not by a powerful and reckless martial god or an unstoppable calamity but by a young man dressed in bridal robes who lets Hua Cheng lead him up a darkened mountain, who doesn’t lash out with spiritual energy or a sword but instead, only eventually, with the cursed bandage he was carrying back in the darkest part of his life.

and i think that throws hua cheng. like he’s had this image of his god all these years, this divine painting made over and over and over again—and he carries that belief and devotion with him, but there’s a crack in the sculpture and the stone is starting to flake off to reveal a human underneath it

so he puts on an approachable, malleable, unassuming skin and finds xie lian collecting scraps and being a lil awkward, a lil bumbling, generous and kind — and i think hua cheng, after 800 years of knowing everything, having everything — I think he looks at this discovery with wonder

Bc tbc this does not mean Hua Cheng views them as equals. For him it’s like, dianxia has even more to him, is even more than I knew. He’s seen Xie Lian as the flower crowned martial god in all his glory and as the white-clothed calamity in all his horror — and now here he is, wonderful, multitudinous, and human

Meanwhile I don’t think Hua Cheng even views himself as a person really, much less a human.

also i mean. the internet & allo ppl prove time and time again that you don’t need love for horniness so. land of tender’s right out as proof on that

POINT 2: The Live For Me thing

so obviously and undeniably, using one person as a reason for living is....not healthy. Not going to argue that. but my take on it personally is that, when Hua Cheng’s a kid who really, actively wants to die and sees no reason for living, Xie Lian gives him a reason to keep going. he doesn’t have to live for himself—that’s too much, that’s too big of an ask—but he’s been given a command and purpose by the one person who’s been kind to him/whom he respects. it’s a little like... “My life has no meaning but my cat needs me to feed him and clean his litterbox and so I need to keep getting up and taking care of him even if I don’t see a larger intrinsic purpose to my life.”

and i think like...it’s easy to forget that for all of books 2 & 4, Hua Cheng is young. He doesn’t live past 18—he’s still like...a kid. And that’s not to say that teenagers/young adults can’t make moral and rational decisions but I’m going to be honest, when I was that age I contemplated joining the Air Force because of tuition assistance and the snazzy uniform despite the fact that I was a vocal pacifist and repeatedly got into arguments with teachers about school rules and conservative politics. It’s not like. The Most Rational and Mature Age, lbr.

so Wuming is absolutely capable of looking at what Xie Lian is doing and being like “hey maybe war crimes aren’t a great idea” but he is young and traumatized and the one person he believes in, the one person who gave him a reason to keep going, is deadset on this task which tbh I don’t think either of them (or...necessarily...the society in which they live) views as war crimes in the modern sense (which isn’t to say that we as readers should view it any more lightly bc i think the narrative directly and firmly contradicts that idea) but as revenge, as an eye-for-an-eye. so, bad, but character-wise, I think it’s more nuanced than we sometimes consider

anyway back to the fixation on xie lian. i stand by the assertion that in those 800 years, hua cheng wasn’t exclusively focused on xie lian. like was finding and serving him his top priority? oh god yes. undeniably. there is no other version of this story. BUT eight hundred years is like....a lot of time. and i think in that time he started doing things for himself, even if under the guise of serving xie lian. hua cheng is curious and adventurous—he clearly likes to learn even if he plays it off as nbd—and i think he starts to realize that about himself in those centuries even if he doesn’t allow himself to acknowledge or consider it.

POINT 3: Mt. Tong’lu in General

“okay, sure but what about the thousands of sculptures and murals of xie lian, curio. what the fuck about them.”

Yeah. FINE. okay we will DEAL with this. dealing with this is the entire reason i wrote “(like i do) in the tall grass.”

disclaimer: this is probably not supported by canon! i also. Do Not care. My Ghost King Now.

so I have two general avenues I take with this:

going back to the devotion > love — when Hua Cheng reaches MTL, he’s seen xie lian beaten and cast down. what do gods need to survive? worship! we see throughout how important divine statues/portraits/etc. are throughout canon. in this interpretation, the cave is a concentration of all that worship in an effort to support and serve xie lian and hua cheng doesn’t view himself like...as part of it. the sculptures could have been carved by any hand so long as they are xie lian and the worship and devotion that goes into their making can support and bolster him.

my personal favorite version: amNESIA IN THE CAVES —okay i don’t have the text pulled up rn but y’know how Guoshi says Hua Cheng was almost dispersed, in terrible condition, etc., when he reached Mt. Tong’lu. so if baby boy is in terrible condition, barely hanging on, etc., then my immediate favorite option is that he doesn’t, at that time, have even the...uh threadbare sense of self he did in life/as Wuming and is running on only a vague and urgent sense of Something driving him—something he has to do, someone he has to serve—and in that case, the paintings and sculptures are part of his trying to piece together and process his memories as he can grasp them and figuring out who he is/what his purpose is. Is this canonical? PROBABLY NOT. and yet here i am. firmly planted on this hill

Also w/ MTL I think a thing that’s often skated over is the mortals, creation of E’ming, and his ascension. Which is important from a meta lens of Hua Cheng and Xie Lian vs Jun Wu but that’s not the point of this rambling monstrosity and i’m trying not to get too distracted. ANYWAY I think this is one of those times when Hua Cheng does something that he would probably excuse as like “well His Highness would’ve wanted me to” or “His Highness wouldn’t have been willing to sacrifice the mortals” because Xie Lian is still largely his moral compass—but it also is a peek at the complexity Hua Cheng doesn’t acknowledge within himself.

uh i got distracted anyway and no longer know what point i was making here. Hua Cheng Ascension Important....maybe i will remember this at some other point...

POINT 4: Live For Me (Revisited)

I sort of got distracted writing that point but anyway coming back to it now: I maintain that although Hua Cheng’s primary pursuit is protecting and serving Xie Lian he also does develop/realize his Accidental Personhood throughout his 800 years. this includes a lot of things, as previously stated, that are under the guise of serving Xie Lian (I’d put learning the Banyue tongue, finding out about the Gilded Banquet, collecting swords, beating the 33 officials etc., in this category) and things that maybe could be but...are not really (e.g., his friendship alliance with He Xuan, Paradise Manor* in general, the Gambling Den, learning the Wuyong tongue, bullying Qi Rong*, bullying FengQing*, playing with gold foil palaces, etc.)

(*these are ones that like...could be said to be for Xie Lian and I think he might say are for Xie Lian but also have a personal element that is just for him.

Like yes Paradise Manor is a lavish and well-stocked residence fit for a god or crown prince...but it’s also a luxurious and extravagant collection of all the things he couldn’t have in life. it’s like giving a kid a credit card with no limit and letting them run wild through uh. Fuck. A Fancy Department Store.

And sure Qi Rong was awful and turned on Xie Lian in pretty damning ways, but I also genuinely think part of Hua Cheng’s grudge with him is from the childhood abuse and from just...hatred that Qi Rong is around and looks like Xie Lian and gets to be there when Hua Cheng can’t find Xie Lian (which is about Xie Lian but for Hua Cheng).

Similarly with FengQing, sure a lot of his hate is for them abandoning Xie Lian—but he doesn’t even know till Book 3 when they abandoned him, and consider how much more he hates Mu Qing, the guy he blames for kicking him out of the army, etc. Some of it is totally “in service” to Xie Lian but some of it is because Hua Cheng carries a grudge like a goddamn pro and finds catharsis in beating the shit out of immortals who bounce back and can’t stop tripping over themselves and onto his blade.)

#hua cheng #tgcf #tgcf meta #long post #i'm sorry i cannot be concise or clear with my thoughts :<#this is why i write fic #bc i can just mash these interpretations through prose and then they turn out more clearly #....i think #i hope anyway bc this sure as fuck isn't that clear

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ravencrossffxiv · 4 years

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Prompt 11: Ultracrepidarian

Set in the LbR verse around the time they’re going to go clear out Snowcloak and Stone Vigil (HM). Raven, Mingxia, and Serella talk about the sheer stupidity that is the Crystal Braves. And also all three of them want to strangle Alphinaud.

Thanks to @stars-bleed-hearts-shine and @inkblood-mistrieu for the voice checks and for letting me write with their characters. And for listening to my ramblings.

“The nerve of that little ultracrepidarian!!” Raven growled as she wrapped her jacket around herself. She had built an igloo in the middle of Boulder Downs and started a fire in the middle, the fire a bit hotter than she intended with her anger.

“That…what?” Mingxia asked blankly. “What is an…ultra-creepy-darius?”

Raven blinked, she must’ve used one of her fancier words again. “One who knows nothing about the topic yet they offer their opinion anyway and does so loudly, often talking over ones who are well versed in said topic. Alphinaud knows nothing about running an army yet he insists on doing things his way.”

“If Alphinaud ever pulls his head from his arse and hears you, he’ll be rather cross.” Serella deadpanned. “But I don’t disagree.”

“You think I care what that sheltered rich kid thinks?” Raven asked, then shook her head. “Anyway, I dragged you guys here first because we all have a nasty gut instinct that this is going to end badly. We need an escape plan for in case shite does hit the proverbial fan, so to speak.”

Mingxia nodded, tilting her head in thought. “Whether or not he is cross makes no difference. I spoke to him before I went to Gridania and the Shroud to recruit. He has absolutely no idea about the beast he is about to engage. I fear his naivety will put him in a good place to be taken advantage of- those who are in his circle of advisers, once they realize he’s just an idealistic kid with a big ego will be able to play him like a koto. That said, I think we need to find places we can meet up at in the event that we three are deemed a problem to whoever might be scheming. The only place currently available, however, might be here. Thanalan and the Twelveswood can connect to Mor Dhona, but given that is where the Braves are also based, it could be dangerous.”

Raven is quiet as she listened. “I’m inclined to agree. If I could, I would absolutely slip my way back into Ishgard and take you all with me, but something tells me the only way I’m getting back in is if I petition one of the High Houses to sponsor me, and I request to extend that to you two…”

“You could always ask Lord Haurchefant, couldn’t you?” Serella asked.

Raven blushed but grumbled more to herself than anything. “Yeah because that conversation is gonna go well. ‘Hey dear I know we’ve only been courting for a couple of moons but could you ask your dad to get me and my friends into the city proper?’”

She looked between her sisters and sighed. “I don’t want to think about that part until we get to that point really…” She mumbled, then thought to herself. Nor do I wish to use him like that, or make him think that I would…

Mingxia crossed her arms, thinking. “Let’s cross that bridge if we get there. For now, it would probably be best if we made a place for ourselves here, as this is the only reasonably safe neutral territory we can hide in if we don’t want to spend every waking moment on high alert. If the worst should happen, at least we will have a place to hunker down and hide while we consider our next steps. Much as I am curious about Ishgard, I somehow doubt it will be easy to gain entry- and if we do manage that improbable task, I am almost afraid to think about what that might mean for us.”

“You’re not the only one.” Serella nods in agreement. “Reluctant as I am to admit it, your connection, as well as ours, to Lord Haurchefant might be one of the few ways we might get there, should it come to that. Please don’t think I’m suggesting we use anyone, only that we could ask him how best to petition a noble house, should the worst happen.” She says, shooting a well-meaning but still very true remark at Raven, who fumbles with her words a little as Ming pats her on the back.

She soon sighed. “We should relay this to Rukia, she’ll be vital for getting intel and getting around anything shady, and to Yugiri, both of them will be our best bet for information.”

“Riol also does a lot of intel work, or he did for the Company of Heroes, he’ll be of help as well.” Serella offered.

Ming nods in agreement. “I should ask big brother Thancred for advice too.”

The other two nod and soon Ming hears her linkpearl go off. “Hello? Oh Senior! Oh, ok, we’ll be there soon. No I’m not telling her that! Ugh fine…”

“Foulques?” Raven guessed.

“He said to tell you that the knight waits for his princess.” Ming states.

Raven is visibly annoyed by this. “I’m going to hit him.”

#Raven Cross #Serella Arcbane #Mingxia Jiang #Shared verse #ARR #((The girls plan for the worst))#FFXIVWrite2020

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screechthemighty · 4 years

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FR Octane is 100% one of those characters where I can see all the building blocks of WHY he behaves the way he does, but also acknowledge that his behavior is...Bad, it’s not great. And guess what, I accidentally wrote an essay about it if anyone cares! (Listen, I paid a lot of money for an arts degree, if I can’t over-analyze everything then that money was wasted, humor me) ETA: also if you’re thinking of dragging me for this post, please read this first and consider not doing that.

We’re going to be looking at two big aspects of his character for this analysis. One is more subtext than actual text, but since all the evidence is there (and, if how they handled Wattson’s autism is any indication, will likely never be canon regardless of all the evidence) we’re just going to treat it as canon for the sake of argument. The other one is paracanon which, to be fair, isn’t as canon as “evidence actually in the text”, but again, for the sake of argument, we’ll treat it as such.

Fact the first: Octane, most likely, has ADHD. From the way he behaves, I’m assuming it is either undiagnosed OR he was never adequately taught how to manage his symptoms. The most relevant symptoms to this discussion are his seeming overreaction to Lifeline teasing him (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria being a common ADHD symptom), his persistent and VERY canon inability to handle boredom, and his equally persistent and canon poor impulse control (especially related to the boredom but in this case it also goes hand in hand with the previously mentioned RSD).

Fact the second: He grew up in an emotionally neglectful and dysfunctional home--his dad had multiple re-marriages (and lbr, probably was cheating on his current wife with the next wife every single time), he was raised more by an assistant who didn’t care to learn his wants and needs, so on, so forth. IMHO, this fact does explain both his larger than life personality AND manipulative behavior. If he stands out and acts out, he gets the attention he craves. If he’s manipulative, he can actually get what he wants/needs from the uncaring adults in his life. He behaves badly because of childhood trauma.

So, with all of these facts in mind, here’s the sequence of events:

Octane is relegated to a task he considers painfully boring (keeping in mind that boredom is one of the worst sensations for the ADHD brain). He is forced to stay in said task by an authority figure who doesn’t listen to his input about what he’d rather be doing or what tasks he might be better suited for.

On top of that, he is teased by someone he considers a close friend (practically family by his own admission) in a way that a) makes light of the situation he finds uncomfortable and b) compares him to an “accountant”, something that is anathema to what he wants to be. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria kicks in; the comment becomes genuinely hurtful and not just slightly unfunny but well-meaning ribbing.

His intolerance for boredom says “no, we’re not doing that task anymore, let’s go do the fun thing.” Poor impulse control and no buffer to mitigate the effects of poor impulse control say, “the first thought to pop into my head is right, let’s get that dopamine!”

His manipulative tendencies say, “If I make a big fuss, do something stupid, and let Ajay know it’s partially because she was mean to me, then she’ll understand that she hurt me and feel bad about it.” Unresolved trauma means that he doesn’t even THINK to communicate that to her, which would be the HEALTHY thing to do but likely not a method that has ever worked for him in childhood. Instead, he leaves an emotionally manipulative letter and peaces out.

As of right now, we don’t know what the ULTIMATE outcome is (my money is on him getting his ass kicked TBH). But the IMMEDIATE outcome is that Lifeline feels responsible for something that isn’t her fault and now she and Gibraltar are both going to be put at risk of getting hurt. Octane has also put himself in a position where he’ll probably be hurt. This isn’t going to end well, is what I’m getting at.

NOW. Here’s the thing. The two facts I listed up above are not his fault. Him having ADHD? Not his fault. Him not getting the right help he needed as a child? Not his fault. Him growing up in a dysfunctional environment that had a negative impact on his emotional and interpersonal development? DEFINITELY not his fault. Everything about his behavior based on those two facts makes sense, and I’m not gonna sit here and act like he’s a bad person for being a neurodivergent abuse victim.

But, to paraphrase the very smart Jessica “How to ADHD” McCabe, it may not be his fault, but it is his responsibility--in this case “it” being how he treats other people, which is very much within his control. I get WHY he did it, but he IS being an absolute ass to Lifeline for the second time (that we know of), and that IS wrong. He HAS to learn at some point to not be like this. It’s already temporarily lost him a friendship, and it COULD get him or someone else killed this time around. He’s a grown adult, and despite my/the fandom’s jokes, he does have all his brain cells. At some point he’ll have to realize he can’t treat people like this and adjust his behavior.

To be fair to Octane, I completely understand and acknowledge that getting help and admitting to the things clogging up your brainspace is incredibly hard. Trust me, I have firsthand experience with this one, and my problems are small potatoes in comparison to what’s going on with him. So he’s not necessarily a bad person for not having taken those steps, especially because I’m still not sure he REALIZES he has a problem. Now, if he knew that he was hurting people and continued doing so because “that’s just who I am, they’re the ones who are wrong, actually” against all evidence, then that IS him shirking his responsibilities to other people and himself and I could criticize him for that. But I don’t think he’s at that point yet. Right now he just seems oblivious, which, yeah, we’ve all been in that position where you’re oblivious to your problems even as they’re slowly burning your house down (I cringe looking back on childhood me exhibiting early anxiety symptoms that went unchecked until now, when I’m well past college age).

I also think it would be helpful if someone told him in a CONSTRUCTIVE manner that his behavior is worrying and was able to help him get to that place where he can realize that himself and get help (not saying they should bear the majority of the emotional weight, AM saying that he seems like he needs the extra help and that’s valid, all things considered). Unfortunately...pretty much everyone in Apex Legends is their own flavor of messed up and they ARE in the middle of a crisis, so they’re likely either unable to see it or unable to help because y’know, lot going on.

In conclusion: I say none of this to demonize Octane? I say it because a) I think his character is really neat, flaws and all, hence me referring to him as a “problematic icon”, and b) because I think it does a disservice to his character to ignore his flaws. I don’t want him to be turned from a complex character with a lot of neat stuff going on to an uwu tortured sad boy who’s never at fault. I haven’t seen anyone do that YET (everyone seems to love him for being a trash baby and that’s valid), but, y’know, doesn’t hurt to start the conversation preemptively.

(QUICK sidebar that I didn’t think of until I was tagging his: his privilege as a rich child from a rich family definitely is a contributing factor to his behavior and another stumbling block to him getting help for a lot of reasons? I won’t go into all my thoughts on this because that could be its own essay but tl;dr Rich People often don’t believe in consequences as it is and don’t like to admit to being wrong, and some of this definitely wore off on Octane and is exacerbating the rest of it.)

#apex legends #apex legends spoilers #apex spoilers #spoilers #man I have GOT to write more fic with Octane he's such a neat little bastard

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typewriterghcst · 3 years

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Title: But For Me It Was Tuesday Rating: also G-ish, but some allusions to probably what we would consider child abuse in the modern day lbr Characters: one (1) OC, Baron, Natori, Yuki Summary: The events of The Cat Returns, but told through the eyes of the smallest-- oh, sorry, my mistake— the youngest kitchen maid in the service of the Cat King. No romantic pairings. A crush or two may be mentioned, though. Notes: Written for the 2020 TCR Birthday Bash, even though I emphatically missed the deadline rip. This one was for the prompt of ‘Movie Extra’, which I took to mean, well, pretty much just what I wrote— the events of the movie as a backdrop to another character’s everyday life, lmao This is another one that isn't Entirely Finished, but I've been working on it since June-ish and I've just lost all motivation to finish it. Though, unlike the last one I posted that was unfinished, the only part missing from this one is the ending. There's also a part in here involving Natori that needed to be changed, but I liked the wording and imagery of it, and never did get around to figuring out where else to put it, so some of the pacing in here is Off rip

&&&

She oversleeps. That's the first unusual misfortune that happens to her on this particular day. Opens the day, no less, she thinks to herself as she forlornly stokes the ovens' gently smoldering fires. Her ears are still ringing from the boxing she'd received— the fact that Cook had had to include a little hop to even reach them means what little pride she has feels just as bruised.

Were she a more superstitious, flighty sort, she might even have taken this setback as the first of likely many portents of an upcoming stressful day. But instead she is only Topolina, the youngest (but emphatically not the smallest; more on that later) kitchen maid currently languishing away in the employ of the illustrious royal castle of the Cat Kingdom.

Of course, it’s there she stops herself. It’s only the chaos of the morning that has her using such bitter language. She should try harder, she tells herself, not to linger on the unpleasant aspects of her current existence, and instead focus on… on… well, she supposes there’s something to be grateful for in all of this.

Like…

Oh! She has a home. A relatively nice bed to sleep in. And meals, every day.

...Meals which she is most often forced to wolf down in the kitchen in solitude as she tends the fires and keeps a watchful eye on the simmering pots.

Ah.

Perhaps she needs a bit more practice with this gratitude thing, is all.

It’s entirely possible her recent light resentment had begun with her very name, Topolina, a name which had been quite fitting when she stood at least two heads shorter than all the other kitchen maids, one she'd even perhaps viewed with some fondness for its endearing quality. And yet, alas, it now exists as a name which seems only heavily ironic— that is, now that she's hit the tender age of fourteen and found herself towering over all but the very tallest of cats. It feels to dear Topolina like some massive, omnipresent joke that she remains her old timid, meek self, still eager to fade into the background and disappear... now without even the faintest hope of being able to do so.

Metaphorical salt in the wound is the undeniable fact that her pinafore's hem, once perfectly aligned with her ankles and cutely poofy, now drapes awkwardly far above its original position. Perhaps it’s comparatively trivial atop all her other complaints, but when she finds herself thinking back to her old unassuming silhouette, she can’t help but feel at least a little crestfallen. Nowadays, she feels quite akin to a pitifully overgrown shrub, no matter how many well-meaning words to the contrary she receives.

All in all, she imagines such a thing might make anyone feel rather less than appreciative.

It’s as she’s sitting there alone before one of the nine stoves in the palace kitchen, contemplating her rotten luck, that she hears— well. She’s not sure, exactly. It’s something of a crunching sound, like rusted metal grinding against itself, and she can’t imagine what its source could be. She stands, and gingerly inspects the oven itself from every angle she can think of. She even studies her fire iron. Yet still she comes up empty-handed.

Defeated, she flops back down in her original spot.

And then— she squeaks, because the ground under her is moving, slowly twisting back and forth as if she’s sitting on a lazy top. She leaps (falls is more accurate) off the emerging ground once her mind comes back to her, once it stops panicking, and stares in confounded shock as the very spot she’d been settled atop transforms into what appears to be a long-forgotten manhole covering. How long had that been there?! She’s never been made aware of an old servant’s tunnel in this area!

Her perplexion only deepens when she spies just who has made use of this abandoned tunnel— a cat much like herself, though she thinks that he looks quite a sight better than she would have had she just crawled through a dirty tunnel. His off-white suit is pressed and smart, for one, and hardly has a tear nor even a wrinkle to show for the abuse he’s no doubt just put it through.

His sharp gaze falls then on her, and she’s suddenly acutely aware of her ill-fitting, nearly threadbare pinafore, the scuffs of dirt and soot smattered across it, and her probably unkempt fur, smudged and mussed from fire-tending. Oh, if she could just will the earth itself to open its maw and swallow her up—!

“Ah,” he starts, in a much gentler voice than Topolina had expected, turning to her and offering a hand to help her up, “I apologize. It was not my intention to startle you.”

“N-No, it’s okay,” she stammers, taking his hand without thinking. (Were she in a right state of mind, she’d never do such a thing— the very last thing her poor Young Maiden’s Heart could stand is for a handsome gentleman to struggle to lift her.) He pulls her up with little difficulty, though, and in her chest she feels a very peculiar thump, and then a flutter.

“A-Are you here for the king..?” She asks impulsively.

He doesn’t answer immediately, appearing to think that over for a fleeting moment, perhaps aware of the myriad of ways the pairing of her question and his response could be interpreted, before he makes his decision.

“Yes. I would like to have an audience with him. It’s a matter of utmost importance.”

“Y… you’re not here to kill him, are you?” She whispers, perhaps irrationally afraid that the king himself might be listening in on her. And yet, not too irrational— she’s seen his spying Cat’s Eye floating languidly about the castle on more than one occasion.

There’s something pitying in his gaze, she thinks, but he replies graciously enough. “You have my word, miss. I am not here to usurp or otherwise harm your king.” Then, while dusting some nonexistent dirt off his clothes, “I do believe I will need a change of wardrobe, however. It won’t do to adress a king while clad in anything less than my finest, will it?”

He says it without flinching, and in such an earnestly straightforward fashion, that Topolina herself is almost led to believe there really is some flaw with his clothing that she simply can’t see.

“Oh!” She says then in sudden inspiration. Without explaining herself first, she scampers to the open alcove behind him, separated only by an unfinished wall. The kitchen servants have long used the area as a makeshift coat rack, and one particularly bizarre ensemble has been there for as long as she can remember. She comes back around the wall bearing the large hat and cloak before offering it to him, embarrassed now that she realizes that, judging by her actions, this is what constitutes ‘his best’ for her: an absurd hat and a dusty, worn cloak.

He himself appears no less than enchanted at her offering, however, and when he stands before her with the hat cocked just slightly on his head and azure mantle thrown over his shoulders, Topolina finds she’s again being assaulted by those odd, vexing heart palpitations. Is she really such a nervous thing? ...Yes, she answers herself firmly. Yes, she is. But she’s far from convinced nerves are to blame in this instance.

“Oh,” she breathes eventually, clasping her paws together and resting them against the edge of her cheek. “You look like you came out of a storybook.”

Well… that was more childish than she meant it to be.

“Then it’s perfect,” he says succinctly. Then, removing the hat and inclining his head to her, he adds, “Thank you for your assistance, ah—”

“Top— erm, Lina.”

“Miss Lina, it is. I’m quite grateful for your help. I am sorry only to startle you and then run without so much as a token for your assistance, but it’s imperative I make good time.”

Topolina shakes her head. “It’s okay— I-I don’t mind!”

And with a final bow, he leaves her and the kitchen behind.

&&&

Peculiar dashing stranger aside, the rest of her day passes in relative normality. There’s a clamor about the servants some time later, and she catches snippets of an excited buzz about something happening with the prince (something that ties in with a group of special guests, but she’s yet to put together how) as she goes about her duties, but in all, for how bizarre the day started out, it all strikes her as rather uneventful.

She’s instructed eventually to scour the floors in the audience chamber in preparation for a banquet, which means filling an old rusted tub with hot water and soap, and then carting it to said room. She’s no stranger to the task, of course, and thinks nothing of trudging through the hall with this metal burden in her arms.

Perhaps as penitence for her lack of investment in the day’s continuing Wonders, another ill-fated obstacle is tossed onto the tracks before her. In this case, literally.

Earlier that day, a courier had accidentally overturned a loose stone in the hallway floor. Scratching his head, staring down at the disturbed piece of clay as though it had personally insulted him in the most obtuse way possible, he’d eventually looked from one end of the corridor to the other and quietly snuck it back into place, hoping it wouldn’t be noticed.

Unfortunately, Topolina notices.

With a decidedly unfeline-like squawk, she trips over the rogue stone; the tub in her arms ends up the victim of gravity, as we all so unfortunately are.

And who should turn the corner then but Natori, just in time to be the unwitting second victim of her bad luck— drenched by the ensuing sheet of warm, sudsy water and so jarred by it, it seems he can do little other than look rapidly from his own sodden person to her no-doubt horrified countenance for near a full two minutes. In the fraught silence that follows, his glasses clatter to the earthen floor, and the tiny sound echoes in her ears like a gunshot. Trembling, Topolina instantly drops to her haunches, paws clapped together in desperate and tearful pleading.

"I-I'm so sorry, sir! Please, I beg your pardon— I didn't mean— i-it was an accident!"

"...Topolina," Natori finally interrupts quietly, gently, even, but the hum of exasperation vibrates just underneath his patient tone like a trapped butterfly, "—retrieve a mop and a towel, please.”

“Of course, sir! R-Right away!”

&&&

It’s afterward, as Topolina does her best to mop around him while he tries to dry himself without incurring any extra… floof, that Natori deems an appropriate time to address his reason for coming this way in the first place.

“It’s possible that Cook may have instructed you about this task already, but the kitchen staff will likely be needing every pot and pan that can be spared for today’s dinner, so do ensure that you tend to the ones that have been, er, languishing in... that corner.” When she chances a glance at him, she sees that his gaze is inconspicuously trained on a particularly infamous corner of the palace kitchens, one where abandoned cookware is just shy of creating its own ecosystem by now. For a brief, heart-pounding moment, some measure of indignation rises in her; she’s so very close to telling him she isn’t the one to blame in this instance! ...At least, not the only one.

Ah. Alas, once more. Her courage withers in the face of this culpability, small as it may be. Instead, she goes back to her doleful mopping. Still, there is at least enough nerve left in her to present him with one continuing question on the topic.

"Is it... is it for the special guests?"

Natori pauses, giving her something of a searching glance. "...It is, yes." Then, after a few seconds spent appearing to think this over, he continues ringing out the bottom hem of his robe. It seems at some point while she was distracted, he’d laid the drenched towel at his feet. "I see word spreads fast through the kitchens."

To herself, she thinks that he has no idea how true that is, nor precisely how fast it truly does.

Finally satisfied with all that the towel can accomplish in drying him off (and evidently feeling his now damp robe will no longer leave any puddles as he wanders through the castle), he returns it to her. "Now, Topolina, please try to keep the mishaps to a minimum. We do have an exceptional guest today, after all."

She only nods frantically, all too aware of her ears flapping up and down. To this, he gives an approving nod of his own, and then finally turns on his heel and leaves. Secure in her admittedly paltry position for at least another day, Topolina breathes a sigh of relief as she puts the mop away.

...An exceptional guest, he’d said. Curiosity flares again, this time stronger than before, and she can’t stop wondering just who they could be. For the most fleeting of seconds, she remembers the cat who had interrupted her delayed routine this morning, but he’s quickly waved away.

Honored guests did not arrive to their own commemoration by climbing through old servants’ tunnels.

&&&

Once the dirtiest, most grime-caked pots and pans are finally scrubbed to perfection, she peeks around the corner in search of Cook or Natori, wondering what other (insignificant) part she may have to play in the care of these exceptional guests. To her consternation, however, the kitchen aside from her seems rather empty, present only to the sound of a maid or two prepping extra portions of stuffed mice on the off-chance they’re requested.

Cautious as always, Topolina all but tiptoes through, still careful not to draw attention to herself, and— once she’s certain she’s not being scrutinized— peeks out of the kitchen itself into the servers’ hallway. There’s music playing, muffled, down the hall in the great dining room— something elegant, bouncy. A waltz, perhaps. She wonders distantly who it is that might be dancing, and if the well-spoken cat she’d crossed paths with earlier is anything of a dancer himself. She could imagine him dancing… Oh, the flutter is back.

“Lina—”

“Yes!!”

She jumps impressively high, her hackles on edge and tail fluffed out in alarm. Yet, when she whips around to face her unexpected company, she’s met only with Yuki. Another of the kitchen servants, Yuki has existed as a consistently friendly, warm presence, to the degree that she’d willingly adopted Topolina’s attempts to shorten her, well, newly embarrassing name, something a few of the other servants (and Natori…) were still having trouble with. Her fright abated, Topolina tries to greet the smaller cat with a smile, but it wavers.

“Oh— Yuki, it’s you.” She’s carrying a large glass bottle, freshly-filled with some unfamiliar pink-tinged liquid, Topolina notices.

“I’m sorry,” Yuki starts in reply. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I-It’s okay!”

“What were you looking at?”

Oh. That.

“I was looking for Cook,” Topolina admits reluctantly. “Or maybe Natori. I’ve finished the dishes they wanted me to clean earlier today.”

“I saw The Corner was all clean. It must have taken a while.” Yuki sounds impressed, perhaps. Topolina doesn’t mention it, of course, but deep down she’s a little tickled. “Natori’s already taken his place in the dining room, though, so I don’t think you’ll have any luck getting more directions from him.”

“Oh…” Thinking back now, she realizes she should have surmised that already. At least, if the banquet has progressed to the point that entertainment is warranted. “What about Cook? Have you seen her?”

“Sorry, I haven’t.”

After a short silence, it suddenly occurs to Topolina that Yuki seems… a little distracted. Troubled, even. Fidgeting, she gathers her resolve for the third time that day.

“...Are you okay? You look like… um, something’s on your mind.”

Just the mention of her evident disquiet is enough to erase its presence from her expression; Yuki almost instantly brightens some, shaking her head gently.

“No, no. I’m fine.” And then, before Topolina can press the issue, “How about this? Stay here— I have to go back in and serve refills. If I see Cook, I’ll ask her what else she wants you to do and then fill you in when I come back. Okay?”

Topolina is just about to enthusiastically agree (leisure time in the sparsely occupied kitchen? Not being the one to personally ask Cook for more work? Of course she’d be on board!), but a sudden eruption of screams and breaking glass from the direction of the banquet room means the two of them are turning their startled attention to the ruckus instead.

“Wh— what could it be..?” Topolina wonders aloud, shaken.

[ and that's it rip the ending i had in mind was that yuki tells topolina to find a safe place, topolina cowers probably in the kitchen the whole time, especially upon hearing an Explosion. and the next day there's all kinds of rumors and tall tales about baron and The Daring Rescue he pulled off. topolina connects the dots and. well basically becomes haru 2.0 crushing on him and indulging in fantasies where she's also swept off her feet by a dashing hero fjfjkda; ]

#the cat returns #do i #still tag it with the birthday bash tag....#tcr birthday bash #i guess #this was my first attempt at writing baron #also yuki

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chaos-and-cookies · 4 years

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Gen z making fun of millenials is fucking hilarious cuz they're essentially making fun of every white person I've ever met, but theres a few things that make me realize that even us millennials have forgotten exactly WHY we're like this.

Like "adulting". I havent actually heard ppl complain about "adulting" in a long ass time but the reason millenials are so incompetent when it comes to adult tasks is because literally no one taught us this shit. We were the first gen to suffer thru major education cuts in funding, I was lucky enough to have a couple of home economic classes and wood shop classes in middle school but high school those classes didnt exist. There were some practical art classes like ceramics and wood shop classes but they were electives and art would lose funding more and more every year.

As children our parents gen were very concerned for us, they would fight for us, they saw we were getting such high work loads that we would literally be suffering back issues from carrying so much crap in our backpacks that they made roll around backpacks (essentially kid friendly luggage) so we wouldnt be ruining our backs as much. But once they learned we were becoming smarter than them thru all the standardized testing they put us thru they kinda turned their backs on us and that's where the lazy entitled bullshit remarks started coming thru.

As for all those wine jokes? Honestly idgi either. I realized ppl were making wine to be out an entire personality trait too a few years ago and I also think it's kinda sad and ridiculous but white women have been making liking wine into a personality trait long before us so I'm not rly gonna count that as a "millenial" thing but rather a "white suburban mom" thing.

Harry potter? Yeah those ppl need to actually read a different book not much else to say there. Especially since JK showed that she truly is a joke of a person.

Dumb language like "doggo" is just a result of the internet, we've had dumb language thru the internet for years, some just sticks around longer than others. Not much to say about that, it's just how language evolves now.

I didn't look too deep into the articles about this but I saw some screen shots from tiktok and like I'm sure theres more to talk about how gen z hates us or whatever but like the jokes about adulting made me realize that since we were the first to suffer thru school cuts and a bunch of bullshit thru our schooling, no one else BUT us understands WHY we were so grossly incompetent once we hit our 20s and why it was such a relateable joke for us. Gen Z probably figured that it was always like this and ur supposed to learn Adult skills from ur parents but...no, it hasnt always been like that. Like lbr look at Gen X and look at ur grandparents do u rly think ur grandparents had the patience to teach them shit??? Absolutely not lmao.

And now buzzfeed is just fanning the flames with these articles, having uptight white millenials who fit all these jokes say shit like "well I dont gotta listen to shit from the tide pod eaters" and like no man we gotta protect our younger sibling generation we can't turn against them cuz they got jokes and lbr, valid critiques. If anyone should know about the BS gen z is going thru its us millenials who did all this shit first so we have no room for turning our back on them. I just hope ppl realize this sooner than later cuz we dont need more generational divides than we already have.

#sorry this got long but i had some Thots.

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nicosmh · 5 years

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╰ * ✧ ˖ SHE WAS LOVELY. THEN THINGS CHANGED. ‖ have you seen NICO HAMADA at the beach recently? i remember them being so PASSIONATE, but they seemed a little HESITANT today. it must be tough going through such hard times at only TWENTY-THREE. even then, they still remind me of PERMANENTLY EXHAUSTED FEATURES, MUSIC SHEETS SCATTERED ALL OVER THE ROOM, ODDLY SHAPED CLOUDS, and BALLS OF FLUFFY, PASTEL YARN.

i’m dee, and i never sleep. let’s get it started -- shall we ??

tl;dr and headcanons --- big family, big money and even bigger pressure. a whole ass cutie. true personification of an exclamation mark at times. memes, memes, memes. says and writes things that sometimes make one wish they were jared, nineteen. will steal your dog, cat or literally any animal, ever. a toss up between the mom friend and the wine aunt. most likely to befriend everyone’s parents ( probably because she can’t stand her own ). a terrible cook, -5/10 would not trust her in the kitchen. will refuse to get out of the car because her favourite song is playing on the radio. puns. yoda jumped out. many would say she’s a trust fund baby on the lowkey, and they would be two hundred percent right... unfortunately.

nico mei hamada was born to a pretty affluent and strict family that moved to the states when she was just five years old. she may have not experienced the so-called ‘culture shock’ too much, seeing as she was tiny, but she still kind of feels out of place to this day ( not that she would ever have the guts to admit it, though ).

with her mother being a composer, herself, nico’s parents decided to sign her up for piano classes. safe to say, she didn’t particularly enjoy being told what to do from day one, and she didn’t know what she disliked more -- the pressure to do something she didn’t want, or the classes themselves.

but... later, she grew to appreciate the fact that they’ve decided to put her through something like that. nico had found new hobby, her new passion -- something that she could possibly consider her one true love. she fell in love with the technique, the music and everything else that entailed the magical world of instruments. she could go ahead and admit that this was the only thing that was making her truly happy.

as the time went on, she had picked up guitar and violin, having been focused on piano nonetheless. she didn’t necessarily wanted to overwhelm herself with the amount of instruments she had to keep up with. but, was it really hard for her? not really. it was her hobby, something she genuinely enjoyed doing. she was convinced that if she ended up doing what she liked, she would never have to struggle with it.

juggling between attending private high school and music school didn’t exactly belong to the easiest of tasks, but she managed to find the perfect balance. she could admit that having one or two friends and that’s it was pretty helpful. if she wanted to be the best of the best in her craft, she had to make some sacrifices and nico was aware of it.

after years, upon years of hard work ( majoring in music production in college and so on ), nico joined the ranks of an orchestra and she finally felt like she’d accomplished something that could make her family proud. they weren’t necessarily as vocal about it as she’d wished them to be, so maybe this thing would change it? and it did. if one could only imagine her mother’s face when nico told her the good news...

unfortunately, having found it too stiff and boring ( her words, not mine ) for such a charismatic being she was, she decided to leave. no hard feelings. nothing. it was just that. even her parents expressed that they weren’t exactly that surprised about her decision. apparently, they knew her daughter all too well, and it showed. they were still, however, disappointed... which wasn’t a new thing to her. nico was grateful for their calm reaction, no matter what -- she wouldn’t know what to do if they reacted in a different way, really.

her decision made her father think that she was thinking about taking over his business -- he couldn’t be any more wrong, though. it’s not that nico wouldn’t want to help her parents out with anything, it’s just that she clearly had no interest in anything business-related. and that made mr. hamada change from a supporting father to someone who was giving her an ultimatum. all or nothing, so to speak. she was supposed to either take up necessary classes and learn about everything that has to do with owning a tech company, or at least make sure to help them out when they needed it the most.

how could she do that when there was no prior motivation, nor reason for her to be there? why did they put her through music school and everything else if they wanted her to become a businesswoman? it made no sense to nico. when she explained her point of view to her father, he lashed out, deciding to end all the forms of contact with her -- not without telling the girl how disappointed in her he was, of course.

nico’s mom tries her best to keep in touch with her, but every single conversation they have just ends with an argument. that doesn’t necessarily stop her from allowing nico spend their money, though. she thinks this might be something that will persuade her to change her mind. little did she know... it won’t do anything. she wants nothing to do with it.

now, without that much to do, nico is considering having a little bit of a break to experience everything she didn’t have the chance to do when she was growing up -- whether it be parties, getting a first tattoo... chopping a huge chunk of her hair off, things like that. she figured, that having a social life will be so much easier now that she has the time to actually indulge in all of these things. she’s got a whole new world to explore, and she won’t stray from throwing her parents’ money around.

once she decides that her time off moment is over, she wants to find a job that she will actually feel satisfied with. she sells the songs that she’s composed and written the lyrics for, but she also wants to start recording demos for herself, and maybe even do some odd jobs on the side. but... that is something she definitely needs to take her sweet time with -- nico had found herself enjoying the lavish lifestyle she secretly craved ever since she was a teenager.

it’s more than safe to say that her closet and most shelves are filled with notebooks containing unfinished songs and random thoughts that were too precious to her to throw away. lyrics about falling in love, heartbreak -- anything one could expect from someone who went through it in such a short amount of time.

during summer vacation, three years ago, nico met elise. the two quickly hit it off and became each other’s first everythings. the pair was inseparable for the time being -- with elise choosing to pursue her degree in politics, the girl had to move a couple of states away. they swore to each other that it would never let it affect their relationship. at first, everything was going swimmingly well, as it should, but then... things started to get messier and messier. obviously...

nico couldn’t possibly put the blame on the girl, at first. after all, she was busy, right? well... as the time went on, elise started to avoid any means of contact with her, chalking it up to being buried under the books and working on essays and whatnot. seemed believable enough. again, nico couldn’t really question it, because she knew that her major was one of the toughest ones out there. it wasn’t quite right, still.

after a long month filled with nothing but waiting and sleepless nights, nico decided to officially end the relationship only to find out that her now ex had found someone new, someone who goes to the same university as her. safe to say, it drove nico mad. how could she even think she was good enough for someone like elise? it made her wonder whether she was just a temporary place in the other’s bed, and even if her feelings for her were real. at this point, it could literally be anything.

it’s already been a year since it all happened, and while she might not act like she’s been affected by her ex-girlfriend ghosting on her without giving her a reason and finding someone new, nico is definitely FEELING it all. she’s just... not vocal about it, because why should she be? apparently, that’s what happens when you trust someone so much, and let them lead you on for so long. nico was convinced that having a long distance relationship with someone would be a piece of cake, but boi, was she dead wrong...

nico decided not to look for any kind of consolation from people. she is just... there, aimlessly going through the day, making a complete fool out of herself, probably as a defense mechanism. despite not seeking help for herself, she’s always down to talk about everything with just about anyone, because she’s That kind of person, really. don’t let that fool you, though! she’s grown a backbone over the years of acting like a doormat, and she truly won’t hesitate to voice her opinion if something is bothering her. she is a nice person and that will truly never change, though.

more headcanons:

she is, and i cannot stress this enough, baby

but you know, she’s a baby that can snap

( yes, that’s a thing, fight me )

a pretty good dancer ( duh ), doesn’t do anything about it, though

a gym rat -- eats healthy most of the time, works out four times a week

music-wise, nico’s songs are a mix of nina ne/sbitt, king pr/incess and to/ve lo

ghostwrote a couple of songs for famous and semi-famous artists

and with that come the royalties, obviously......

...royalties that can cover up the cost of everything she needs, but you know... she’s saving that up and still uses the family’s money -- very Smart™ of her, lbr

( still under an nda, so... she can’t talk about it... yet )

huuuuuuge paramore fan

doesn’t drink much, prefers to smoke a bowl... or five

has to wear glasses most of the time -- does not do that

fluent in three languages -- japanese, english and french

sarcasm is up in there, as well, but i am convinced that it doesn’t count

knits a LOT

connection ideas ( not limited to only that, of course !! ):

fellow musicians ;; you know these people that fire off the creativity fuse ?? jam sessions until the early hours of the morning ?? staying on the phone for hours on end ?? friendly banter on social media ?? things like that. and who knows ?? there might be a few collaborations on projects, too ?? ( open ;; 1/?? )

saltmates ;; honestly, their entire relationship is based around the two of them being bitter together. whenever one of them is pissed, they just let the other know and they get together, pour a glass of wine or juice or what-have-you, and hash it out. ( open ;; 1/?? )

bad timing ;; for some reason or another, something always gets in the way of whatever they have. maybe they’re just not ready to commit at the time when the other is, or one’s in a relationship with someone else when the other was finally available. ( open to f ;; 0/?? )

unrequited feelings ;; is it just friendly, or is there a lot of sexual tension? either way, this can be plotted whether nico is the one to have feelings, or vice versa. they’re not entirely deep where one person is madly in love with the other, but enough to the point where tension is sparked. ( open to f ;; 0/1 )

unlikely friend ;; someone nico thought she would never be friends with but finds herself being friends with regardless. she definitely admires them for being who they are and genuinely has a great time whenever she hangs out with them, despite all their differences. ( open ;; 0/?? )

acquaintance ;; if you asked nico about that person, she would probably say they just “know” each other. she doesn’t ask them any questions, they don’t talk or meet up as much, but they still somewhat do care about one another. they just trust each other like that. they seem to be passing each other by a lot. ( open ;; 0/?? )

#tsunamintro #// okay .. it's unnecessarily long but.. y'all should know i never shut up fkdjfkjaskdk

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bigskydreaming · 5 years

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LOL in all honesty though I’m way too amused by my own Jack Frost joke and its literally from a Bobby/Christian fanfic I wrote like, twelve years ago or something. It was right after Morrison introduced the idea of Christian in his run for purposes of Emma angst, and then they had that Emma solo, and I took that and ran with that fueled entirely by Rage and Spite, as I am wont to do. I now have no idea where said fanfic is, sadly. This was definitely way before Ao3. I think I only posted it on LJ, on an account where my friends list was like....entirely people from an entirely different fandom soooooo probably why that fic never really caught on. Whatever, I write fic more for myself anyway lmao.

It was pretty good though, think it would’ve held up well. The basic premise had to do with Dark Beast, the AU version of Hank from Age of Apocalypse. See, in the comics, when the few survivors of the Age of Apocalypse reality ended up in the 616 reality after it was destroyed, not all of them ended up in the present. Dark Beast, for example, ended up like twenty years in the past. And he didn’t have most of his memories, amnesia from trauma from the cross-dimensional travel or something. Which is when he met a then teenage Emma Frost, who’d just run away from home after everything that happened with her dad and Christian, and she ended up restoring Dark Beast’s memories with her telepathy, so they actually have history in the comics.

So I went with the idea of, okay what if you let Christian have agency in his trauma instead of giving it to Emma, who lbr, has PLENTY of story material on her own. So my premise was that it was Christian who ran away from home and ended up meeting Dark Beast and restoring his memories. And then Dark Beast, who has always been just as obsessed with creating the perfect mutant as Mr. Sinister is, if not more, because he’s like....equally obsessed with proving he’s better than Sinister....well instead of experimenting on the Morlocks, which is what he went on to do in the comics, he looks elsewhere. He never went after Scott or Jean, because he’s also a coward and Sinister scares him shitless, and DB knew damn well there was no such thing as a reality where Sinister hadn’t already called dibs on Scott and Jean’s genes. BUT, Dark Beast also knew from his own reality who all the other most powerful mutants would end up being....years before their powers even manifested in this reality. And since I’m me, of course I wrote it so that like, DB decided to focus on the other one of the 05 destined to grow up to be an omega mutant.

And so he had Christian, who was young and easily manipulated because Love Me, I Need External Validation, My Last Name is Frost as In My Family’s Credo is What If We’re All Frosty All The Time....he had Christian use his telepathy to like, prompt Bobby into running away before the actual event that led to Xavier and Scott finding him and saving him and him joining the X-Men. Where Bobby of course ‘happened’ to bump into DB, who took him in along with his other young protege Christian, so he could like, secretly conduct experiments on Bobby blah blah you get it.

But eventually Christian and Bobby fell in lurv and Christian was like what no, this is wrong, bad, not doing this anymore, so they run away together, and then it was basically just me writing them as a mutant Bonnie and Clyde who are gay and do crime together and say like, fuck all the adult mutants who try and manipulate them and other kids like them. Like Xavier, who eventually tried to get Bobby to join the X-Men and Bobby was like lol no, hard pass. Or the Hellfire Club, who eventually tried to recruit Christian except he was like lol no, hard pass. And then they were basically like this Chaotic Good power couple that just popped up here and there fucking shit up in a well-intentioned way that made half the X-Men grind their teeth and the other half snicker, and same with the Acolytes and other various groups. And there wasn’t really anything anyone could do about it because its canon that Bobby’s only real weakness is to psychics and having a world-class psychic as your boyfriend really kinda nips that weakness in the bud. Unless you come up against like, a cosmic-class psychic like Jean Grey, but lucky for them, she just thinks they’re adorable and tends to go whoops, missed them again every time they slip through the X-Men’s fingers.

And ultimately they decided their real mission in life was to rescue really young mutants whose powers manifested early and put them in danger, and make sure they get a chance to grow up without the various factions going ‘we’ll protect you, but only if you grow up to support our agenda and be One of us, shhhh, don’t fight it, just sign your life away on the dotted line, all the cool kids are doing it.’ And also me being me, and it being like 2004 ish? I think? Maybe 2005. Anyway. So my other preoccupation of the time was the Academy X kids so of course we’re talking like Julian and Josh and Cessily and the like, who were all like, adorable little ten year olds at this point in time, but also V. Beyond the Capacity of These Two Hapless Gays to Handle Without Help. Like, apparently omega powers and world-class telepathy do not actually qualify you to effectively parent a mob of young mutant menaces when you’re only 21-22 yourselves, who knew. So they ended up just showing up on the doorstep of one of Emma’s properties, mutant menace mob in tow, as she was the White Queen by now, and Christian greeting her facepalm moment with ‘Hey Ems, remember how you always wanted to be a teacher?’

And then there was this bit where Emma was something like “I’m a bit busy trying to take over the world, darling, try me again after my mid-life crisis.”

And Christian was all: “You can teach and take over the world at the same time, y’know, some of us are capable of this little thing called multi-tasking?”

And Bobby helpfully piped up: “I can pat my head and rub my stomach at the same time.”

Cue Emma’s wrinkled nose and accusing stare at her brother: “What on earth do you see in him?”

But Bobby just turned around and was like: “Umm, for starters, my ass is amazing. Have you not seen it? Here, touch it. Go ahead, you can squeeze it.”

Emma: .....

Christian, shrugging: “Well I mean, he’s not wrong.”

Emma: “If I agree to this idiotic plan of yours will you leave immediately and never come back?”

Bobby, stage whispering: “Tell her we still want holiday visits, so we can be the cool gay uncles who show up and spoil them rotten and thus they love us more than her. But don’t tell her that last part.”

Christian, dutifully: “We want to still come by for holidays so we can be the cool gay uncles who show up and spoil them rotten and thus they love us but no more than you, an equal amount only.”

Emma: “I’m standing right here you imbeciles.”

Bobby, still whispering: “Make sure that includes Easter. I’m pretty sure if I show up in a bunny costume I can make her head explode.”

Christian: “Just to be clear, that includes - “

Emma, a vein in her temple throbbing: “Just give me the children already.”

Bobby, gathering up the kids in a crowd around him, all noisy and giggling and clamoring for his attention: “Okay kids, so here’s the plan. From now on, you guys are gonna stay here in this big old house with Auntie Em!”

Emma, appalled: “Oh. My. God.”

Christian frowns: “Emma, please stop trying to fry my boyfriend’s brain. I’m not going to let you.”

And then the kids swarmed through the door past her into the hallway and there were the sounds of stuff breaking, distracting her for a bit before she like, glared at Bobby and was all: “This is all your doing!”

Bobby, hurt: “Only mostly! Chris and I are a team. A united front. It was a 60/40 split.”

Christian: “Well....”

Bobby: “Okay, 70/30.”

Christian: “You said you were going out to get some waffles to make breakfast in the morning and you came home with waffles, ice cream, and Julian on your shoulders.”

Bobby: “He followed me home!”

Christian: “That’s not how he tells it.”

Bobby, whirling on the ten year old Julian Keller who’s playing a Gameboy and looking entirely unconcerned: “You little traitor.”

Julian flipped him off.

Bobby, scandalized: “He did NOT learn that from me.”

Julian, still not looking up from his game: “Yes I did.”

And that was when Christian started dragging his boyfriend back to their car, before Bobby can get into an actual fight with a ten year old, yelling back over his shoulder at Emma: “Okay, great, thanks so much for doing this, let us know if you need us to bring anything when we come back in a few days with the second batch.”

Emma, distracted and trying to do a headcount: “Yes, fine, be gone already. ...Wait. What second batch? DRAAAAAAAKE!!”

But it was too late as the car is halfway to her big mansion gates by then, Bobby cackling: “Hey, we should totally get a dog. Like a little foofy one.”

Christian, knowing better than to ask but asking anyway: “And why is that?”

Bobby: “Bet you anything I can get her to say “I’ll get you and your little dog too!’”

Christian: “I’d appreciate it for both our sakes if you never do or say anything to suggest to my sister you’ve ever compared her to the Wicked Witch of the West. I mean, not that she’d protest on moral grounds, but she takes her color schemes very seriously. And you do know you don’t actually have to provoke her quite so much...”

Bobby: “Mmmm....agree to disagree. It’s the principle of the matter.”

Christian: “What principle? What matter?”

That was the gist of that scene anyway. Dialogue’s probably different, but you get it.

Ugh, I probably have the whole thing sitting in an old email account somewhere because that’s always been my main way of backing stuff up, is emailing it to myself. Problem is, I think I had a specific fandom email account back then and I don’t know what it is anymore lol.

#kalen writes things sometimes

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notesofarichlycolorednight · 6 years

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Hi! How do you think Luke's personality would be if he survived, and how would it change during the years? I'm not talking about the campers' reactions,but how Luke would think and act.

hello hello!

oh man, that’s an interesting question and i LOVE IT

so by the wording of your question, it sounds like if the titan war still happened, but luke somehow survived after getting rid of kronos, how he might change in the yrs following

and so, hcs!! in bullet-form!! as always under a cut

so he luke miraculously survives hitting his achilles’ heel

and let’s pretend the gods are a sliver decent and actually fulfill percy’s wish/reward, which now includes luke since he’s alive, and did help save the gods in the end

so he’s not exactly punished, but he is being monitored heavily, almost like he’s on parole or smth

i know it’s hard to believe they’d completely let him off, even in this au, so i’ll throw in a magical ankle bracelet that monitors him–he can’t take it off (without the gods being alerted), or go outside of nyc’s five boroughs, which includes into any magical realms (like the underworld, since there’s an entrance in central park)

if he heads into areas that have high demigod activity/magical auras, with chb as the exception, it alerts whoever now has the task of monitoring him to keep a closer eye on him for that time he’s there

suspicious activity is flagged, and they can recall him to mt olympus and detain him at any time if they think that he’s becoming a danger to the gods again

speaking of chb, i don’t think he’d be able to stay there after the titan war, too many painful memories–too many ppl who hate him, or don’t trust him, etc.

it’s hard to say what his and annabeth’s relationship would be. as i’ve said in a previous ask, i think luke was asking if annabeth still considered him family, and she does. but i think luke would be too guilt-ridden to interact with her at first

not to mention that percy is v protective, and while they may have had a tender moment abt not letting all that happen again, i think percy would have a hard time trusting him

thalia’s now with the hunters, and has clearly shown what she thinks of luke’s betrayal, so that’s no good either

i think grover would be more open to luke, but luke would probably avoid him like he avoid annabeth bc of the guilt. and grover’s a busy satyr now, so that doesn’t help

so basically anyone he considered close to him in childhood is on shaky ground and he’s not sure what to do abt that, bc demigods are only taught abt fighting and battle, instead of that and emotional and psychological health wheeeeeee

since he can’t leave nyc, he finds like a hostel or smth to stay in while he figures shit out and tries to get back on his feet

he’s suffering p heavily from ptsd and still has terrible nightmares abt kronos and being possessed by kronos, which doesn’t help

he can’t hold a steady job bc he only knows how to fight and has no social skills whatsoever, so he becomes some low-level conman to make some income

he still hates his father, so it’s hard to acknowledge that his father’s skills are helping hi survive right now, as much as he’d like to believe that he’s surviving all on his own

at some point, he tries to con one of the demigods who’ve made it without chb (a demigod whose parent is a minor god). thankfully, they’re nice abt it and introduce him to a demigod underworld, so to speak

i wouldn’t say it’s as sinister as our criminal underworld–it’s really more of a society of demigods who were forgotten (unclaimed kids) or never made it to camp (children of minor gods), but found a way to survive with little to no training from camp, despite the monsters and technology

luke is suddently introduced to a whole new world, and that’s when his life really starts moving forward again

these demigods are angry and bitter, yeah, but they take that and turn it into motivation to live and thrive–basically living bc of spite. fuck the gods, fuck my parents, i’ll show them i don’t need them or chb

(like rick has this weird thing abt writing kids who say that, but then talk abt how much they want their godly parent’s approval. or to prove that they’re worth of their godly parent’s attention. and like i get why, but that’s not true for everyone??? having been adopted, i come from a perspective of, yeah, i am a little curious abt who my biological parents are, but i’m not dying to reunite with them or anything bc i don’t need to??? i have everything i need right here–a loving mom, and awesome friends, who i would consider family. even if i did want to know who they were, their approval of who i am now doesn’t matter to me. i don’t need to prove anything to them, nor should i need to for their attention. like that’s shitty to expect that from your child, and a horribly mindset to instill in a child)

and so i imagine it’s the same for a lot of demigods, too /tangent

anyway, so i’d like to think that this society is pretty structured–it’s a mish-mash of kids of major gods who were never claimed and of minor gods. some do resort to criminal activity, others work minimum wage jobs, and still others who are making higher than minimum wage, with some even making six figures ya know. basically they still function within the larger mortal society, but they’re also part of this hidden demigod society, you feel?

but they always take in demigods who could use some help out in the real world, regardless of who their parents are and whether or not they’ve been claimed/lived at chb

hephaestus kids have built a closed-circuit network that makes tech safer for them to use, and it also helps them communicate with each other as well as any mortal they make friends with, etc.

and their secret society is hidden within a company (kinda like how the three roman emperors hid themselves within a company, except without the evil part), and it’s v socialist–so they do what they can to help those who don’t have anything, until they can get back on their feet, and then put back into the society and help others

so luke is introduced to this hidden world within the mortal one of new york

i’d like to think he’s p instantly recognizable (to most, not all), but they don’t hold any grudges or bitterness like those at chb to bc they understand that he was fighting for them, even if he was going abt it the wrong way

some put him on a pedestal (he’s the face of our hidden society or he could take up the company or smth), but another kid of hermes comes along and shows him the ropes, not expecting anything from him

they get him therapy to work on his anger issues as well as his ptsd, and he slowly learns social skills

there are two large apt buildings that the company owns that only house demigods (but not all the demigods who are part of this society), and they find him a small one bed/one bath apartment to live in

as he gets better, he stops resorting to criminal activity and finds a steady job working at a tech company, bc he doesn’t have to interact with ppl like in retail, and when he does, its coworkers who think the same as he does

i also like to think he starts mend those relationships he lost with annabeth and grover. thalia’s a little harder to reach, but once he starts communicating with annabeth more, annabeth tells thalia abt his progress, and thalia sneaks away to visit him on occasion

it’s rough at first, as it always is, bc he did a lot of bad things and hurt a lot of ppl

but he apologizes to all of them–annabeth, grover, thalia, and even percy

they start to hang out occasionally, and luke almost become a mentor to percy again

(we’re kinda ignoring hoo rn for luke’s mental health, but percy most definitely talks to luke abt how he can see where luke was coming from during the second titan war after that whole prophecy nightmare)

eventually, they become friends, even family

he’s happy to hear that the camp is expanding, allowing minor demigods; the hermes cabin is far less crowded

but luke still holds a lot of anger and bitterness. even living within this secret society, it��s yet another symptom of the gods’ lack of caring (like the crowded hermes cabin)

even with percy’s request and the expanding camp, luke still hears of demigods joining their society, which is a little disheartening if only bc it still represents the gods’ lack of caring

with the help of therapy, tho, he’s learning to channel is anger into smth productive

instead of trying to raise evil entities, he throws himself into the business that their society is hidden in. he wants to know all the inner workings of both the demigod and mortal side bc he wants to help as many demigods he can

bc in the end, he’s still a scared, lost little nine year old boy who just wants someone to be there for other demigods since no one was there for him

oh and speaking of, he finds the courage to visit him mom again! annabeth goes with him, since he’s still working through all that shit with his therapist (and lbr, that’s smth that someone might never work through, just learn to cope with)

i wouldn’t say he visits her often, but he spends some of his income and hires a caregiver to help around the house, but also to take care of may. since the prophecy has been fulfilled, her visions aren’t as bad, and she doesn’t have so many spells, but her mind is still quite lost bc the curse is still there

eventually, luke works his way up the ranks of the company bc he sees the good that this society is doing, and wants to be a part of that. he can finally help these demigods that doesn’t involve destroying the world

he starts to visit camp a little, but usually only talks with chiron abt the changes that they could make to the camp to better help the kids there. the whole place, tho, still holds a lot of painful memories that luke would just rather forget. so he doesn’t go often

it’s a long, long process and luke stays in therapy indefinitely, but the work he’s doing with the company, and the demigods he interacts with on a daily basis help him a lot

he slowly heals, and mends fences, as well as makes new friends and bonds

he never truly lets go of his anger and bitterness, and for the most part he just kinda ignores the gods. remembering what he did during the titan war still haunts him, but he uses those memories as a reminder and promises to never do anything like that again

and this time he keeps his promise!

*sniffles* look at my bby boy growing up and healing.

despite liking white collar!luke (which i could see this so easily sprouting from your initial question), i wanted to take this in a different route and really delve into his healing process bc it’s like a salve to my soul. it’s so easy to ignore emotional and psychological health, but for anyone it’s so, so important to address those issues and work through them ya know?

like i advocate for mental health and stability! as well as emotional healing, esp for men bc it breaks down that toxic masculinity. and toxic masculinity often does lead to expressions of anger and violence in men in our society

i could probably say more, but i’ll leave it there for now. it feels like a good stopping point. hmu if you’d like to hear more specifics abt anything within this au!! i’d be happy to write more abt this au :D

thanks for sending this in, anon!!

#oh god for shame! i do not even know your name #notesofananonymousnight #asked and answered #luke castellan #pjo hcs #pjo au

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shellheadtmarc · 6 years

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[halloween meme] can i get a uhhhhh tony/maccready

Chooses the pumpkin: tasks tony should not be trusted with: fucking this. like he’s not incapable, it’s not like it’s his first halloween ever but he’s also the type that will purposely search out the most extra(tm) he can find. which doesn’t always translate well in this case, because what is extra to tony is not necessarily the biggest (though it probably is). on the upside, there’d be plenty of gourd seeds to roast after the fact, not that...tony can really roast gourd seeds, but he’d give a good college try.Carves the pumpkin: tony starts it, maccready finishes it after tony almost slices his thumb off because he gets distracted by any number of the ten million things he plans on doing with this or that or the other that have literally nothing at all to do with pumpkin carving - there’s important and there’s Important, you can figure out which is which. so tony gets to sit in a corner and pout while bandaging himself because he’s banned from sharp objects for a while (a ban he will completely and totally ignore as becomes apparent five minutes after this).Gets scared and clings to the other in a haunted house: listen. we actually talked about this. tony is a Man and he does not Get Scared in haunted houses. haunted houses are a Joke. he’s faced down an alien invasion and deathclaws and ferals and bad guys and all kinds of things, he’s not going to get scared in a haunted house. not happening. that said, his shriek is heard three settlements away, he climbs maccready like a goddamn tree, and because he just latches on without thinking, he successfully covers maccready’s eyes when he wraps his arms around maccready’s head like a squid so maccready can’t see where he’s swinging, therefore no one gets punched. but they do crash through a wall of the busted house that’s being used because tony’s monkey impression tips them off balance, as he’s probably got close to seventy pounds on our favorite little possum boy, and he definitely has four inches on him.

Matching costume idea: okay but hear tony out: silver shroud and grognak. it’s great, right? it’d be a great costume idea, and they’ve even got official costumes to run with. barring that, tony’s got one that’s ready made that he’s reluctant to use. but he’s gonna press, and press hard, for an unstoppables duo. they might even be able to sweet talk stephen into doing mistress of mystery, rhodey or/and zetta into the mechanist, and thor can be manta man. tony could beg zetta (see above) to come along, but he’s fairly sure that’s a no-go. doesn’t hurt much, though, to try. it’ll be great. there’s no real purpose, let’s be real, because halloween is an old world holiday for the most part even if diamond city decorates for it - and who knows, maybe kids go trick or treating there but tony doesn’t hang around to find out - but any excuse for a party to get everyone together, i guess.Makes a cozy bed-fort to cuddle in: okay, so here’s the deal. tony? is soft on kids. soft. it wouldn’t be a bed fort. it would be a literal fort because he’s probably got settlement kids following him like the pied piper everywhere because he’s so good with them. think like a kid’s clubhouse. and yeah, shit’s hard, but kids should still get to be kids, and that would be part of his goals in the whole making shit better thing, in that he’d give them as many of those opportunities as he feasibly could. so maybe not a cuddle fort but definitely a place he’d get dragged to and have to be extracted from because he’s one of the kids as far as the kids themselves are concerned. and as a real answer, tony’s still the one that would do an actual bed fort, but it would be a fort of solitude unless it was invaded.Steal’s the other’s candy: tony is a candy thief. he’ll do it right in front of him, no remorse. this is a relationship, right? which means it’s share and share alike so he’s just gonna...share maccready’s share with himself. it’s totally fair.Accidentally gets lost in a corn maze: pre or post saugus is the question. pre, definitely tony. look, corn is corn and it all looks the same, he can get lost in a settlement plot without paying attention to where he’s going (luckily he does...most of the time). i mean, have you ever been in a corn field? it’s easy to get turned around. he’ll find his way out eventually if he does, though, once he stops and gets reoriented. but it’s still something to rag his ass about, which lbr, maccready totally will because it’s funny.Tells spooky stories to scare the other: i love my son. but he’s a terrible storyteller. he’s so frank and matter of fact that it just doesn’t translate well for scary stories. i feel like this is job best left up to maccready, if at all. then again, they have the good fortune of knowing a for really real wizard, who has Seen Some Shit, so ghost stories are probably better left up to group situations, otherwise you get shit like the rock saga.Collects cool-looking leaves: listen, leaves are great and all but would either of them really do anything that impractical? like i joke about tony being a giant child but leaves are literally everywhere in the wasteland. and maccready is just...man, everyone paints him as completely immature because he’s not some grizzled merc that’s eleventy billion years old but the truth of it is, he’s so practical it hurts. he has his silly moments - otherwise he and tony would never jive - but he’s also the Responsible One. that being said, you know what tony would collect? the halloween decorations left behind from before the bombs. you gotta have decorations for halloween, right, so he grabs them when he sees them.

halloween ship meme : accepting : @dicepools

#courierdusters #;; you're screwed up and brilliant look like a million dollar man (answered)#;; hey big spender spend a little time with me (ooc asks)#;; i've been trying to fix my pride but that shit's broken (headcanon)#;; cause they tell me a man is just a sum of his parts well i'm body i'm blood i'm a terrible heart (tony x maccready)#// i hope y'all weren't expecting one word answers #// because you get answers so long they need to go under a readmore #// because that's how we roll in this house

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altruistic-meme · 6 years

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alright my dudes, this post is going to go deep. in it, I'm going to talk about some rather triggering content. under the cut I'm going to tell you about my personal experiences with the mental illnesses I have and just basically try and give you an understanding as to why I sometimes act the way I do. so if you care to read, and reading won't in any way negatively affect you, then click that read more. if not, feel free to scroll on, no hard feelings. sometimes you aren't feeling up to reading dark shit and I can respect that, I get that way too. now, with minimal further preamble, the undercut and what lies beneath...

(potentially triggering content includes: discussion of depression and anxiety and mentions of self-harm and suicide.)

well hello there, and welcome to the undercut. I'm about to take you on a journey through the messed up part of my mind. I'm gonna try and keep this short and to the point mostly.

A QUICK THING; it's probably going to be very incoherent, and if you are confused about something or would like more information about something, do feel free to visit my inbox or messages and ask! a lot of people are very uncomfortable talking about this stuff and lbr, I kinda am too, but I'm making an effort to speak up more about it, and to reach out a hand to those who need it, as I never really had one put forth for me. so do not be shy to ask about anything, that's what this post is about, hm?

let's just jump right into this, shall we?

HERE WE GO; I HAVE AN ANXIETY DISORDER AND MILD-SEVERE DEPRESSION.

neither of which are fun, lemme tell ya. (and I am totally in awe of people who have either or BOTH and are out there, working and being an adult in general like damn. u strong. go u.)

a disclaimer before I continue: this post is about MY PERSONAL experiences with these illnesses. this is NOT a post about the general symptoms of these illnesses. if you relate to anything I say in this post, I'm v v sorry that you are going through this, bc it's hell, not gonna lie. anywho, I had better see 0 bullshit about "oh, you don't have x bc you don't do/feel blah blah blah" not everyone goes through the same stuff, dipshit.

moving on.

symptoms yayyyy;

Anxiety: -I am extremely socially anxious. -this means going up to the counter to ask for a take-out container for leftover food at a restaurant? u m no. -talking to strangers? no. -it is also really hard for me to talk to little kids or older folks. -and then there is also; feeling anxious (wow) -having 209745 worst-case scenario's go through my head. -trying to sleep and instead having my brain interrupt and tell me "hey ya know what's cool? thinking about how you could mess up x" -actually that happens a lot. -a general thought process for me; "am i good enough? do I look okay? do I act like an idiot? am I charming or stupid? am I cool or a know-it-all? I talk about myself too much. what else can I talk about? them, talk about them. but that doesn't work either. I don't know what to say." -not fun. -and that is just what came immediately to mind. there are lots and lots of different variations. -don't even get me started on how doing my school makes me feel. -and a metric fuckton of second-guessing. -no panic attacks yet but I have felt like I was close to having one often.

Depression: -just. suicidal thoughts. let that sink in a minute. -also thoughts of self-harm. -like there are days where looking at a knife will make me want to cut and I have to hold knives on a daily basis pretty much so not fun. -can we see that self-deprecation?? yeah we can. -constantly wondering if my family loves me. -don't even get me started on my friends. -hiding in my room bc it's literally the only place where I feel kinda safe from myself -except for when I remember that I have scissors in here. -enjoying things I used to love whom?? -times where I have to take a minute to psych myself up for little tasks like carrying my dishes to the sink. -i n s o m n i a. all over. -some days I lose all will to eat, or just my appetite as a whole. -motivation?? don't know her. lack of motivation is the only one here.

ah, yeah, let's stop there for now.

another interrupty thingy!!: bc I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume at least some of my friends will read this, there are two things to assure you of; YES I know you love me but depressions goggles make it hard to remember that sometimes. and PLEASE don't freak out over the first 3 items on the depression symptom list I'm fine. I will explain in just a sec.

okie? okie.

so now ya know! not fun! kinda terrifying actually!

"oh, well, Ac, why don't you just try sleeping more? or going outside more? or drinking water? or eating regularly? doing yoga?"

all very good suggestions. yes, they CAN help improve mood, but at the point I am at, they aren't going to help much.

and for the sleep part, lemme tell you, I KNOW FULL WELL that I should sleep more. but guess what? I can't. like, I can. not. sleep. I want to sleep. I enjoy sleeping, I enjoy being fully awake during the day and I enjoy not feeling and looking like a fucking zombie. but you know what? Anxiety and Depression by themselves usually make it harder for people to sleep. combined? I'm fucked. sometimes, yes, I get a regular amount of sleep. but also sometimes I don't. I'm not yet sure what it is that triggers me into either cycle, but they can last from two months to four days.

and OK. I get that you have your ways of making yourself sleep. but you don't understand. I have had to sit through the same speech from my mother about "just picture a blank wall" 6. TIMES. your methods are yours, and while I'm very glad they work for you, it is highly unlikely they will work for me.

okay now, if you got worried when you saw the first 3 symptoms under Depression: I really do appreciate your concern, and I am touched that you care. I'm not going to say it's ok bc of course it's not, it's very not ok, but it is something that I am and have been working on. the first time most of these thoughts hit and hit hard was November 2017, and immediately after I calmed down from them I decided that I had to talk to my mum about going to therapy.

this started a kinda long process including telling my gf, my friend, and my sister before telling my mum. and then of course when I did tell her in December we weren't able to actually try and setup an appointment until January due to being out of insurance. and ofc after that we find out that the recommendation I had gotten the previous year for anxiety was expired and this resulted in me having to go back to the doctor, then to the ER bc that was the only way to get their on-hand therapist to come that day, and then I had to spend 2 hours there bc they were v v concerned and I was almost admitted for a few days bc of my thoughts.

and yeah, it was a mess.

but I do now have a therapist who I've been seeing for a few weeks, and we have a safety plan in place, and he was v v impressed with my knowledge on coping mechanisms and just my symptoms as a general.

random story: when I was maybe 14 I had already self-diagnosed that I had some sort of Anxiety disorder, and I mentioned it out loud in front of my two sisters and one, who had had panic attacks that had sent her to the ER before, was like ah, yeah. and the other one, who as far as I know STILL doesn't have an anxiety disorder let alone had one back then, said basically "no you don't. god. like, I believe that you have anxiety bc everyone does but you don't have REALY anxiety" which is, ya know, why she didn't know why I was going to therapy until my mum told her several weeks in (and even then idk if she evens knows the full reason, but she hasn't asked me so fuck that)

anyway, i'mma try and wrap this up now!

tl;dr, basically; I have Anxiety and Depression. I have had suicidal thoughts (in the past and recently) but I am working to get rid of them, and until such a time occurs, I do have a plan for if they show up that will result in me being protected and safe. I have coping mechanisms and I use them whenever I feel like I need to, and sometimes when I don't simply bc I enjoy them. I'm currently in once a week therapy with someone who let's me talk and laughs with me when I crack a joke and listens to my stances on issues. I know that you have your methods for things, and I'm very glad they work for you, but do NOT try and force them on me.

I hope you now understand a little bit more about me and why I sometimes react to things the way I do.

have a great day, month, year, life.

~Ac

#I said I would post it so here it is #and again; if you want to know about anything please don't hesitate to ask me about it #mental illnesses #disorder #depression #anxiety #generalized anxiety disorder #(pretty sure)#mild depression #severe depression #self care #self help #tw; self-harm #tw; suicide #tw; suicidal thoughts #tw; suicidal ideation #Shh AC

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grooveity · 6 years

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SW: TLJ - Spoilerish Rambling

Having read most spoilers I was prepared for the absolute worst, but ended up finding it somewhat watchable. Like, the movie is basically pointless (the only change that happens is people dying and only BIG SPOILER Snoke’s death (and Luke’s) actually matter) and it has other problems, but it still gives us nice scenes of our favs...especially if you Don’t Put Them In Context

(These are all over the place:)

Rose tazing Finn: wasn’t played for laughs (or if it was it missed me and everyone else in the cinema with me) and I actually thought it was okay. Was it necessary for the scene? Nope, but the scene itself actually made for a good character establishing moment for Rose. (DETAILED SPOILER: she’s grieving for her sister - oh yeah Paige dies almost immediately and there’s zero interaction between them - when she sees Finn, is pretty in awe of him and then has to realize that he’s apparently abandoning the Resistance like a bunch of other people that day.)

Holdo : Unlikeable and useless. Like seriously useless. A bad leader as well. More DETAILED: Her only purpose is to be condescending and rude towards Poe, while loosing resources and people and not telling anyone that it’s not because she’s incapable or a traitor but because she has a ‘plan’. There’s actually a scene where she’s standing around watching her people get slaughtered for half an eternity before finally grasping that maybe she could do something. For the shipping inclined her ‘Goodbye’ to Leia should be of interest. Finn+Rose getting attacked by Cops/kneeling in front of Hux: yeah that happens but it’s not as long of a scene as I feared...so... that’s good

BIG SPOILER: Snoke’s Death/Kylo Ren: With all that, somehow Snoke’s death still ends up the weirdest thing the movie does. Hux is treated as a joke throughout the entire movie and Darth Temper Tantrum is a constant failure and now those two losers lead the First Order? Why bother with a Resistance now, either they kill each other or they just continue to fuck up. And yes, there is a shirtless Kylo Ren scene. But while he takes up much of the movie he isn’t in every other scene. Reveal of Rey’s Parentage: um, where? DETAILED SPOILER: There’s 2 scenes referencing it and one doesn’t give any answers whatsoever and the other is Kylo Ren manipulating her, so... Finn and Rey: continue to care for each other very much, despite being seperated for almost the entire movie. DETAILED they only have one (real) scene together at the end, but it’s a beautiful hug with a lingering shot of Rey looking like she’s coming home Finn and Rose: I like their dynamic, but...um...are we supposed to ship them (as in: expect them to be canon)? Are they the replacement FinnRey? The ‘Look at how straight and uninterested in Poe Finn is’- ship? I honestly can’t tell because, big spoiler(?) while there is a kiss (as everyone has probably heard of by now) it’s not really a kiss that I would...classify...as a kiss. Rose presses her lips to Finn’s for 1 second and that was that. Rey and Kylo Ren: pretty sure I blanked out during half of their scenes. It’s not as bad as you’d think with the sudden rise of shippers though. And in the beginning Rey actually still acts like Rey, it’s only later that she starts to act... ‘weird’. If Kyle Ron apologists can pretend he was manipulated by Snoke in the womb, I can pretend Rey was manipulated by him in those scenes. (However Adam Driver only has one facial expression in the entire movie and I .. just ... don’t understand ... why his acting is being praised??? Like can someone explain that to me? It’s not super bad or anything, but even BB-8 is acting circles around him) Poe: has never done anything wrong in his life ever and I love him. However the movie gives him ‘character development’ that ... he .... shouldn’t have ... needed? DETAILED AND LONG SPOILER the movie starts with him ignoring an order from Leia to take on a suicide task so that his people don’t get killed completing their task. They do in fact get killed, but it has nothing to do him and without his actions the entire mission would probably have failed. that’s where the slap comes in. It ends with him realizing (like 30 seconds away from the goal) that he’s on a suicide mission and giving the order to retreat despite that to his knowledge that means the end of the entire Resistance...so yeah. There’s also Poe staging a mutiny to do something to save the Resistance since Holdo apparently won’t ... he ends up getting stunned by Leia. And lectured, because clearly he just wanted to play at being a hero and blindly following shitty orders would have been better!?

Which leads me to my biggest problem with the movie:

BIG SPOILER

NOTHING POE, FINN AND ROSE DO MATTERS. Actually that’s not true: what they do is super-duper bad and others suffer for it. No seriously. (slightly more) DETAILED SPOILER: The three figure out a way to escape the First Orders tracking, for that Finn and Rose have to leave. Stuff happens. Poe tries to buy them time. Except they get caught, they fail and the First Order gains Information and kills Resistance pilots. And Leia is pissed, gives Poe his lecture and Holdo’s original plan (which was apparently also Leia’s) gets executed. Poe and Leia: despite all that they do have good scenes and Poe’s worry and Leia’s pride shines through. Poe and Finn: lbr we all knew we were being queerbaited again. That said they do interact a bit (and have good scenes!) and nothing happens that a talented shipper can’t twist around. Finn: he has some badass scenes. And emotional ones. And jfc he’s just such a good guy. There’s also like two (?) scenes that were probably supposed to be slapstick comedy??? but actually work much better if you look at them in a serious light??? All in all he has comparatively few scenes however Rose: is my new daughter. that’s all As for Luke and Luke+Rey: again, not as bad as I feared. I understand why people see him as OOC, but I thought there were moments were he was very much the older version of ‘our Luke’.(He still got fucked over though). However I wish we had gotten more Luke and Rey scenes (and less Kylo Ren and Rey).

#tlj spoilers #sw:tlj spoilers

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chloefraazers · 7 years

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ME:A post-game thoughts

I should be writing my essay, but here I am talking Andromeda, because I just finished the game and OH MY GOD. So there are definitely spoilers under the cut. If you haven’t finished the game, don’t click it. I repeat:

Do not click to read more if you have not finished Mass Effect: Andromeda because there are spoilers below.

For my first playthrough, I created Bellatrix Ryder. This was basically decided ages ago: for my first play (and my considered “canon” play) of the Mass Effect trilogy, my Shepard was named Andromeda. It was kind of by accident. I went with a space-themed name (my headcanon is that her parents named her after the galaxy because, after the First Contact War settled and spaceflight across the Milky Way was possible, they dreamed of how far people could go in the future), and then later I learned about the Mass Effect: Andromeda game and just laughed about it. When rumours came around that the ME:A Pathfinder would be named Ryder, I started thinking of names and of course the Black sisters from Harry Potter came up (Andromeda, Bellatrix, and Narcissa). Bellatrix Ryder actually sounded awesome, despite her HP counterpart being… uh… evil. ANYWAY. I apologise for the shitty pictures of my TV screen from my iPhone, but:

I had wanted to name her twin Jericho, but your twin is pre-named the default. Makes sense, since they have to refer to them throughout the game. I know Codsworth in Fallout 4 has over like… 300 known names for your Sole Survivor, but I think a game of this size would be… just impossible for that. So I’m not too upset, I guess. In the end what I decided was that each of the Ryder parents picked a name for a baby and decided not to tell each other what the names were until the babies were born. Papa Ryder actually picked out Bellatrix (come on, an N7 picking a name that means “female warrior”? Makes more sense than Sara lbr) and Mama Ryder picked Scott after a family member. Bellatrix was young, but obviously heard about Commander Shepard becoming the first human Spectre and kind-of idolized her, especially after she saved the Citadel from the Reaper geth attack. In some ways, she looked up to her more than her own father.

Speaking of youth: I loved Ryder’s characterisation. The Bioware team said the squad would be younger and less experienced, and I really felt that with Ryder. She was definitely green and had a spunky personality that came from youth. The characters all-around were excellent. Jaal was nothing like what I expected: I thought he’d be this hardened warrior, but he was such a cinnamon roll giant spacekitten HONESTLY. I went with him as a romance option and I regret nothing. Gonna be honest, I really wasn’t expecting that much nudity or graphic sex from Mass Effect. Not sure how I feel about it, but I’m more amused than uncomfortable. I can see why some people got a “manic pixie dream girl” feeling off Peebee, but I think she has enough personality to contradict the stereotype a bit. I feel like they could have done more with her, but maybe in sequels? Suvi was lovely, of course. I was worried about Liam, and though he, Cora, and Kallo were a bit weaker in comparison with the others, there was still enough to all of them that I wasn’t really annoyed or bored with any. I can’t wait to romance Vetra with a future fem!Ryder, and as always, I love a krogan. I really wanted to see what “Dating Drack” did, but not with this Ryder. Next one, I’m totally seeing what happens. Probably some quality comedy with my favourite salty space grandpa.

Overall, I fucking loved the game. All of it. Beginning to end. It did have bugs and weird facial animations, mostly near the beginning of the game. You could definitely tell where they spent more time on the details. But I’m okay with it, because they’re only going to get better. No game is ever going to be perfect.

And to me, that really didn’t matter as much as the rest of the game. ME:A had diversity, representation, strong story, and wonderful characters. It had mystery, twists, and gave enough answers to satisfy some questions but left enough open to leave me aching for a sequel. Among the humans alone, there were so many female characters - and female characters of colour. One of my favourite moments was on the Nexus, when the angaran was speaking to the asari liaison in the cultural centre and he asked about pronouns, and she said some asari prefer male or gender-neutral. Avitus and Macen weren’t explicitly stated as being in a relationship that I recall, but it was very obvious that they were definitely in love with each other - and I would love to know more about homosexual relationships among the turians. (I didn’t romance Vetra this round because… because Jaal, but maybe next time.)

My biggest fear with this game was that Milky Way species, especially humans, were going to burst into a new galaxy and just colonize the fuck out of it and have it… what’s the word… but basically have it be seen as this awesome thing that humans can bulldoze their way into a galaxy and take charge. I was worried that it would be… ignorant of the implications and negative impact of colonization in the past. In a way, my fears were expressed in the kett, but thankfully I had no feeling of it in the main storyline of the Pathfinder. At every step along the way, it was made clear we were there as explorers, and we weren’t going to make a home on a planet already colonized by the angara without permission (the exiles on Kadara might be… complicated, though). The fact that we didn’t establish an outpost on Havarl or Aya was super important in this respect. The angara welcomed scientists to Havarl, but it’s their home, not ours.

(Also - I’ve been light on spoilers so far, but here come some major ones. Last warning.)

In fact, further into the story and the reveal of Papa Ryder’s knowledge of Reapers almost made it… a refugee story? Almost. Not entirely, but in some small degree. Which is an important story these days.

Ryder fixing the planets because of SAM made sense, then, especially with the reveal that the angara were created. If the Jardaan created the angara and, as suggested in one of the post-game terminal emails, there may be “sleeper agents,” it might make sense that it would be somewhat “ingrained” in them to never try to create artificial intelligence, and therefore never interact with Remnant technology the way Ryder could. Convenient storytelling, sure, but if your playable character in a video game isn’t the hero, then… there isn’t much of a point, lol.

I don’t know if there are major things I missed - and I hope not. I’m hoping that there will be sequels with the Ryders. Mass Effect is so unique because of the ability to import previous game data, so playing another game in the Andromeda galaxy without being Ryder might be… strange. And they definitely set it up for a sequel. Like, I have to know about the quarian ark, and the Jardaan. Not to mention, Ryder has the upgraded SAM implant, so… that makes her stand out.

As for my personal theories, not all questions were answered - I don’t think? Unless I missed something fucking huge, we didn’t discover the truth about Jien Garson’s murder (my working theory is that she’s not really dead), and we didn’t find out the benefactor’s identity, though I’m 100% convinced they had Cerberus ties (not sure about the Illusive Man - seems like he’d want to be more directly involved in the project, even with his Reaper obsession). Did the Reapers have influence on the project itself? WHO KNOWS. Despite nothing actually… happening… I don’t fully trust SAM. I feel like the game tried to push in the direction of trusting him because EDI turned out fine, but… I dunno, I got a bad feeling off SAM. Wonder if I’m the only one.

For big decisions, I’m hoping I made some interesting ones. I chose to save the krogan over the salarian Pathfinder and her small team, and… this one may prove fatal, but I also chose Morda as the ambassador. In hindsight, I should have chosen the Moshae, but I fucking love the krogan and kind of had this feeling of “it’s now or never,” you know? Like, if Ryder didn’t nominate them to have a position like that, they would never have one because space racism. And, like, after the scene where you talk to Drack in the med bay, like… no way am I not siding with krogan. That scene had me in actual tears. I’m hoping my decision doesn’t bite me in the ass but the problem with playing a brand new game with no announced sequels is that you really don’t know the impact of your decisions. It’s great, but also stressful.

Every callback to the trilogy basically had me in tears, though. I will gladly let Bain Massani call me “little duck” all day, every day. Throwbacks to Project Overlord, Gavin Archer, the Illusive Man, Miranda Lawson, and Project Lazarus were so great. Seeing Papa Vakarian and hearing him talk about Garrus and Shepard, and hearing Liara’s logs… like, it was the perfect amount of references to the trilogy to acknowledge its relevance without overtaking Ryder’s own story. Really, really well done.

I do have some criticisms, besides the facial syncing and some bugs with additional tasks. Bioware got a bit better with hair options, but I felt like they could have had more for women of colour. I have four additional tasks I’m unable to complete (which is why I’m stuck at 98% and the completionist in me is distressed), but hopefully a patch will fix those. What I liked in this game is that no mission, not even the additional tasks, felt tedious. Like the side quests in Mass Effect got really draining after a while, and so did collecting minerals in ME2 - thank god that system was much easier in this game. Basically, I was invested in the entire game, which is really fucking great for a semi-open world game.

My biggest… complaint, I guess? Is the soundtrack. I felt like I was never really moved by music, even in combat. In this sense, the game felt a little incomplete. I don’t know if it was a time issue because I don’t know how this process goes in game development, but I was actually really disappointed in Andromeda’s music - or lack thereof. The suicide mission in Mass Effect 2 is something that has stayed with me since I first played the game, and the entirety of Mass Effect 3′s soundtrack was just… I mean, it moved me. From Leaving Earth, to Aralakh Company, to An End Once and For All, it hit every emotion and every drive. I just didn’t feel that with Andromeda. What was there was… fine. Like, it was adequate. But I felt like there should have been background music in places where it was otherwise silent (the love scene between Ryder and Jaal was a little awkward because all I could hear was their breathing, for example). I didn’t feel the “video game drive”, like the music was propelling me forward, that I felt in the previous games.

I really hate saying that, though, because I know the soundtrack people do work just as hard. I just feel like in this game… there could have been more?

(Edit to add: One other thing I missed… I loved the new dialogue options with the emotion wheel rather than paragon/neutral/renegade, but I do miss aspects of that system, like opening new dialogue options if you have enough paragon or renegade points. I’m not sure how to incorporate that into a game like Andromeda or if it would even work. Maybe it’s just nostalgia?)

On a final note, Movie Night was a blessing. If you complete it post-Meridian, I wish you had the option to bring Scott aboard to watch it, but that’s me being super nitpicky. This game really had an ME3 Citadel DLC feel to the squad, which shows that Bioware really listened to what the players wanted and loved and improved on that.

Definitely going to be playing this again. Weirdly, though, I feel like replaying the trilogy first…

Gonna do that.

#my me:a #mass effect andromeda #spoilers #i finished the game #and i loved every fucking second #bellatrix ryder #this got a bit long whoops

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