#shitty mom showdown
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Mrs. Doofenshmirtz (Phineas and Ferb) vs. The Beldam (Coraline)
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I have an idea.
Mom susan and daughter are reader
How about the reader tries to introduce her husband to her mother??
Good evening my dear! I wanted to see a Susan and Alastor in-law showdown and I wrote a drabble and then some headcanons, so I hope you don't mind, but if you do just let me know and I can replace Alastor with another requested character or an oc or something,
The mother in-law
Susan & daughter reader, Alastor x female reader
Warnings!!
Cannibalism, violent elderly, implied Violence AGAINST the elderly in the headcanons mostly, Susan invading boundaries, Alastor gets insulted by Susan, Reader needs a drink, poorly drawn Cat Alastor in a suit, OOC characters, not proofread, does anyone know a replacement for Grammerly??
Alastor made the most of falling to eternal damnation, seeing it as a new opportunity,
He become an overlord, a cannibal, the feared Radio demon,
It was shocking enough to him that he had met you, and while it did take awhile and a long long friendship he did end up realizing he had feelings for you, a sweetheart of a cannibal, who worked with his dear friend Rosie and asked to court you in the gentlemenly way, with a bouquet of seven roses and a kiss on your hand, He was the happiest lil' deer in all of hell.
He'd take you dancing, you'd do something like reading or taking a nap as he did his radio broadcast, the two of you would go on walks,
It was bliss
Unfortunately or fortunately depending how you look at it, Alastor disappeared for seven years taking you with him, much to the distain of your mother.
During the time away you were wed, it was a small ceremony, only the two of you and the fucked up cat thing that looked strikingly like Alastor you adopted as your witness.
Anyways with the sudden seven year disappearance and marriage, he never got to formally meet his mother in law that you've told him so much about,
So once everything was settled and you got to visit your dear mama a couple of times, you decided to finally introduce them,
Unfortunately they already knew each other.
Oh no.
Alastor wore his best suit, he even put that evil radio cat into a suit, you wore a lovely dress that matched the aesthetics of cannibal town [Or an exact copy of Alastor's regular suit if you wanna give Susan a heart attack]
He walked arm in arm with you to the cannibal town home your mother lived in, and from the moment the door was opened there was only one thought on his mind.
Oh shit it was Susan, you were the daughter of the Ornery old bitch,
How was someone like YOU related to SUSAN??
Were you adopted? You had to be, he refused to believe that old lady had spawned you in any type of way, maybe she picked you up off the street?
Susan grabbed your hand pulling you in and looking over you, not bothering to greet the radio demon beside you,
"Where have you been I thought you died, Why are you with the guy with the shitty haircut that looks like someone went at him with a fucking hedge trimmer"
"Mama I visited you last week,"
Susan questioned immediately as you laughed nervously, barely two seconds in and she had already insulted Alastor,
you look over to Alastor who stood awkwardly in the door way, waiting to be invited in, the cursed cat in a suit standing by him also waiting to be invited in.
"And apparently you already know my Alasto-"
you were cut off swiftly by Susan squinting at Alastor
"You married the fucking embodiment of red-40?"
Alastor blinked, "Excuse me?"
"You're excused." Susan moved to shut the door in Alastor's face but was stopped by you stopping her
"Ma, please, Alastor come on in"
You said gesturing for your husband and the thing to enter, Susan scoffed mumbling about something as she turned around and sped into the kitchen.
Alastor leaned into you, hooking his arm with yours as the messed up cat clone moved around immediately crawling upon Susan's rocking chair.
"My dear it's not too late to leave and dine elsewhere''
"Alastor please, It's just one dinner with my Ma''
"Who's an ornery old-"
"ALASTOR."
It's a very very awkward dinner, Alastor tried to compliment Susan's meatloaf? He got bullied, you did step in to shut that behavior down but that didn't do much, Alastor tried to help wash the dishes after supper? Susan stood over him watching as he washed every plate and each piece of cutlery, judging him.
Susan did not fear the overlord, and you were concerned.
After dinner was finished and dessert was eaten Susan stared both you and Alastor down as you sat on her couch.
"How long have you been married?"
"Six years."
"Where are my grandchildren then?!"
You hold up the mini Alastor, it's tail wagged slowly as Susan looked upon it with a look of disapproval,
"That's a shitty looking rat, is your husband dysfunctional?"
"Ma, can you not- NO, Alastor put away the tentacles she will RIP THEM OFF-''
AND HEADCANON TIME BECAUSE I am not the best at writing action.
You poor soul.
They can't kill each other because you exist,
It's like stopping two toddlers from fighting except one's well over a century old and your married to the other one,
You're an unpaid babysitter I'm so sorry
Alastor was raised to respect woman and the elderly but he is very close to attacking Susan
He can't do much because he doesn't want to get into trouble with Rosie because attacking one of her cannibals no matter who it is, was a whole can of worms he rather not open, and also she was unfortunately your mother,
He's questioning that, like after this dinner expect him to sit you down and just start throwing questions, like how?
He liked Susan's meatloaf well enough, he could live without it though,
Susan runs into him randomly on the street? She asks if she has a grandchild yet, no? He's getting attacked with the cane and asked if he cannot perform properly Violence on the ace deer
She tries to convince you to leave him and tried introducing you to a random cannibal she pulled off the street, but she stopped after you got upset at her.
Assuming you live at the Hazbin hotel with Alastor Susan visits, she somehow got a key to the room you and Alastor shared so you could be sleeping and Susan pops in swinging her cane, dropping lore
Alastor lives in mild fear, he's changed the locks, he's put Niffty outside the door as security,
Susan always GETS IN.
You have boundaries with her but she breaks them and your working on getting her to stop,
It becomes a hotel wide situation of getting Susan to not break in
She oddly enough likes Angel dust and you use him as a distraction whenever she appears without warning,
You owe Angel several favors.
You are in debt.
Susan eventually grows a fondness for the freak grandchild, she gets clothes, dresses him up and calls him sonny,
Alastor's not the most pleased but it's better then getting asked if he suffers from certain conditions
They sometimes fight over your time, like he's taking you out on a date and Susan pops in and drags whisks you away for tea or something,
They can't do much aside from verbal Insults and glares, but they did get into a physical fight, Alastor got hit with a chair, Susan almost got eaten, Alastor sent Niffty on her and she almost got stabbed
You threatened to tell Rosie and they both stopped, thankfully
Susan keeps divorce papers on hand just in case you ever change your mind, she's not afraid to attack an overlord, this woman is down below for a reason and she is FERAL.
If she catches Alastor chompin' down on your arm he's getting whooped with a cane and the both of you are getting a full lecture on if he's doing anything he's not supposed too, and if he is, he needs to go.
Alastor is very adamant that he would never intentionally harm you apparently the BITING DOESN'T COUNT AS HARM???
Dude has a fear of becoming like his father.
They have issues but they agree on things like this,
There's eventually a group meeting about Susan breaking into the hotel and while she's welcome she needs to stop popping in at late hours of the night or at the crack of dawn,
There's a Susan security system set up now.
Susan's never going to fully approve because you'll always be that small child she found on the side of the streets long ago to her and no man, woman or whatever is going to be good enough for her little girl, but she'll put up with it, she knows that while Alastor isn't the best person it could be worse.
She eventually respects your boundaries, yay!
Good evening folks! Thank you for tuning in! I hope you liked whatever this was, I'm slowly working though requests! Now it's 3 am and I'm tired, goodnight! Have a cursed cat Alastor in a suit that I drew with my fingers
He looks like a tatortot
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LGBTQ+ Disabled Characters Showdown Round 1, Wave 1, Poll 2
A character being totally canon LGBTQ+ and disabled was not required to be in this competition. Please check qualifications and propaganda before asking why a character is included.
Check out the other polls in this wave here.
Ignis Scientia-Final Fantasy XV
Qualifications:
Blind, gay/demi-romantic, asexual
Propaganda:
Ignis only lost his eyesight (rather than his life) due to his strong will to protect Noctis. He is stated by the game makers to be in a deep relationship with his colleague and friend, Gladio. So it's halfway confirmed/heavy implied for those two boys. (And might be Ignis is asexual). And this man deserves so much. He is the mom friend and gives everything. And so much is taken from him.
Wylan Van Eck-Six of Crows
Qualifications:
Wylan has dyslexia (heavily implied, but not outright said bc setting) and is gay,
Dyslexic and gay!
They are in a adorable m/m relationship, and also have severe dyslexia to the point that (when eight) he could not read or write despite formal education
Wylan is gay and dyslexic!
Propaganda:
Wylan and Jesper have the absolute cutest relationship. Also, Wylan has dyslexia. I don't think it was outright said, but that was heavily implied. It just couldn't be set out loud for the sake of maintaining the fantasy setting. He's such a good character, and is primarily known for his skill with explosives, not his struggles with reading and writing. The other protagonists also never judge him for it, and the only character who does is the kind of person 90% of readers want to kill by the end of the series.
His boyfriend Jesper helped him fake being able to read so they could beat Wylan's shitty dad.
- He's incredibly sweet - But can also be ok with murder sometimes, like when killing unconscious people wasn't good - so just wake them up. - He was thrown out of the house and his father tried to kill him, because of said dyslexia, but managed to survive. Then rebelled against his father and with the help of friends took down his empire - He is very talented at the flute. And can draw very well, along with being a great chemist and demolition experts (hired for making flash bombs and other cool shit-) - Helps break into a world-class prison, then blushes the entire time because the person he's pared with keeps flirting with him - Asks his (eventual boyfriend) if he's into guys. Then immediately gets flustered when Jesper picks it up - Is very rich heir (due to shenanigans) and there's a one-off line about this sweet bean kind of being a sugar daddy- (just gives his boyfriend money to do stocks with, to stop him from gambling) - Supports his boyfriend throughout his gambling addiction and tries to help him overcome it
Wylan is dyslexic and because of this written off as stupid by his father. However, he is actually a genius, especially with chemicals, and he uses his genius and his new band of misfit friends to take his father down and read him for filth in front of a whole bunch of important people. He is good at making things explode. He also nabs himself a hot boyfriend in the process so good for him!
The qualifications and propaganda paragraphs correspond, @wisheduponastar is the third submitter.
#polls#poll#disabled characters#lgbtq characters#disability#lgbtq#lgbtq dcs round 1#lgbtq dcs wave 1#ignis scientia#final fantasy xv#final fantasy 15#wylan van eck#six of crows#shadow and bone
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Supernatural season 14
Oh boy!
So Alt-Michael has taken over Dean’s body and absconded to parts unknown - what an unprecedented plot twist who could’ve possibly seen this coming, certainly not Dean, the one guy who doesn’t trust angels and has a history of being short-sighted & making shitty deals.
Since this is season 14, and there’s only 1 more season after this, I presume Dean will never grow out of these bad qualities 🤦🏾♀️, so…moving on.
Check you out Sam, leading your new band of hunters, like some sort of Hunters Incorporated©️. I’m glad Sam gets to spend more time with his mom, but he won’t let her take care of him 😔😭
Was it me or did that Michael & Anael scene feel like Jensen x Danneel role play 🤣 - at least when he caressed her face. Like really bro? I don’t think the scene would’ve played out that way if the actors weren’t actual husband and wife 🤣
Shoutout to Supernatural for keeping Mark Pellegrino employed lol 😂😂 cuz I don’t see Why the fuck he’s still around if the devil is supposedly dead - wasn’t Mark P. also doing 13 reasons why around this time?? Anywho, Nick, luci’s longtime vessel, isn’t dead???? What does Nick have that jimmy novak didn’t (or literally any other angel vessel for that matter) — plot convenience? That must be it 🤣🤣🤣
Cas honey, why are you letting these demons beat you up? Cuz Dean is gone on your watch? cuz im sorry there’s no way im believing Cas was weaker than all them demons. That’s also plot convenience IDGAF!
After yet another demon-hunter showdown, Mary and Bobby are spotted sharing a beer & flirting…I wish John were around to see this AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Oh Jack, poor guy feels worthless for having no power. He should’ve been like ‘Castiel what’s it like being worthless?’ since that was Castiel’s arc for a minute too, which again fuck Supernatural for. Cas had like 1 badass moment last season when he fried Donatello’s brains but that’s it. Meanwhile Nick totally called Cas out, bringing up Jimmy again and driving that guilt straight into Castiel.
Alt-Michael is recruiting?? Brief Dean cameo in 14x02, you give him like 2 lines, wow 😒. Even Sam got more screen time in 5x22 swan song…but Dean suddenly comes back at the end of the episode???? Nah, bullshit!
Also lol karma for Dean in 14x02 when Jack is like, ‘Dean doesn’t matter’, Michael has to be stopped. Ahahahahahahaha. He was the so called pragmatist when it came to Jack, now it’s Jack’s turn. Castiel’s face when jack said it tho…
Dean got stabbed by AU Kaia? What?? Oh look yet another instance of Dean running away from his problems and pain and being a dick to Kaia (though she's technically a different person) again! Good for you tho AU Kaia for giving Dean a taste of his own medicine and telling him off.
Bobby leave Sam alone, I’m here for his captain my captain era. The lovable giant is doing his best!
So some necromancer gets away from Jack & Dean but we’re not gonna see her again, right??? There’s just a little over 30 episodes left in the show at this point. They probably didn’t know that at the time though.
Shoutout to the devil for basically condemning his child to die from a lack of grace :/ while Cas was able to survive (cuz plot convenience most likely) Jack as a nephilim was unable to do so. Gabe’s spare angel grace couldn’t help (I wonder if he were still alive in canon, if it would’ve made a difference. Oh well).
So this is where Cas made the deal with the empty (yes I know about it, how doesn’t everyone that shit went viral the very night it originally aired amidst the infamous nail-biting 2020 election week), tumblr is still serving the memes to this day.
Cas doesn’t want the Winchesters to know cuz Dean 😭 idc, if I was Jack I would NOT keep that secret. Dean would know IMMEDIATELY.
I think more angels died, but heaven hasn’t fallen yet…right? They keep coming back to that. Hm…
Nick’s arc is…bleh. Pretty sure in his desperation he just brought Luci back from the empty…welp. I guess when you’re an archangel who was predestined by God to fight in a fateful epic battle against your big bro, you just get certain perks in the afterlife 😒
Sam doesn’t want Alt-Charlie to go when its like bro! She. Is. Not. Charlie!!! For fuck sake guys SMH, let her live her fucking life! God forbid she want to run away to fucking safety and not die bloody like her counterpart 🤬
Bobby and Mary run off to a cabin for weeks on end 😏😂 to recuperate, sure Mary 🤣
Garth is back! Working as a spy for the Winchesters, oh dear Lord no. I know he makes it to season 15 but maaaan I don't like this….
The nerve of Dean to challenge Alt-Kaia to either hand over the weapon or kill her. What if she just killed him? Also, can't they just replicate the weapon for their own uses? All they would need to do is ensure they're using the same materials Kaia did when she forged the weapon in her own world.
How many hits to the head is Sam supposed to fuckin' take? I feel like it's happened more in this season alone than the entire show so far? He should probably be dead at this point 🤣
Jack got taken, oh no! why didn't Michael kill him? To take him as a ward? Seriously? Whatever.
And it turns out the past episode was a long con to get Dean right where Alt-Michael wanted him. I know there was a catch to him letting Dean go in 14x02.
So Alt-Michael chose to trap Dean in…contentment? With Pamela Barnes? And they weren't even a couple, just friends. She called him out on something.
Why not have him be with a real girlfriend of his, like Lisa or even Cassie? I’m supposed to believe Dean's dream is an unsuccessful bar living out his days with a platonic lady friend??? Really??? Bullshit!
John returns for the final time to go back to 2003? Okay. His hair is cut and grayish. Lol so I’m gonna see that as John gained some weight (from food/drink or muscle training idc) and dyes his hair black but the root are grey and come out every so often 🤣 but yay JDM I wish you had been in more episodes! Oh well.
So no one’s gonna talk about:
a) Adam’s existence
b) Bobby X Mary or how Bobby essentially replaced john as the father/husband by getting involved with Mary AND being a surrogate father to Sam & Dean (with a clear preference to Dean but whatever)
I’d care more about Sam & John’s convo if we had more time with them together on screen. But it was nice to see them squash their beef.
Dean & John’s convo was faaaar too brief. But insightful to their relationship. John wanted dean to have a family, echoing his wishes for his eldest in season 1 in his convo w/ Sam.
But Dean was like I have a family 🥺 my emotions!
Back to the Michael bullshit – a fight with a gorgon fucked up his containment so he literally broke out of Dean's body and killed all the hunters who were conveniently at the bunker when they brought an unconscious Dean back there. Even poor unfortunate Maggie. For a second I thought Mary would be there since Maggie mentioned she was on her way back but no, he ended up possessing Rowena.
Then they bring the old angel torture device of disabling our heroes' ability to breathe, like in the season 5 premiere, making them blind (that's new) and making them hurt.
Jack gets his chance to take Michael down, and takes his grace??????
Oh Sam bby, it's not your fault. Those people were doomed no matter what. TBH I'm surprised they lasted this long. But cuz he's a Winchester and he was raised by Dean & they've rubbed off each other too much at this point (nobromo), he decides to focus on yet another case even when Dean himself isn't willing since big bro has pointed out they have done 3 cases back to back. They're not the young men they used to be lol.
Cas goes with Sam to a milkshake town and given his legendary levels of awkwardness he's immediately seen and called out for his inherent queerness by the townsfolk (in all senses of the word).
Aw Sam wants to stay, ofc he does. This town is simple and peaceful. He could use some of that. Too bad this place is making people's heads explode.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Ah subtle there Supernatural, making Jack, a Nephilim who's the offspring of the devil himself choose between angel and devil food cake 🤣 Dean why would you put him in that position?
Cas why you gotta be snitching on Sam to your boy bestie like that 🤣 – typical boyfriend tomfoolery
Oftentimes since Jack started in this show, he's felt like an intern and 14x16 is one of those times. They don't wanna bring jack along so they think to leave him alone doing chores. Good Lord.
Oh honey Sam you didn't have to tell the sheriff you're not FBI, just stick to the monster stuff. He knows what's up.
And Jack sweetie pie you don't need to impress those kids. He should be hanging out with kids his own age. Just Jack with a bunch of babies 🤣. So cute! My headcanon is that he can actually talk to them. At least then it wouldn't have ended with a stabbing. Thankfully he cleaned up his mess, even though the local kids are terrified of him. It’s a shame he doesn’t have friends. If only he was allowed to have Claire in his life.
They finally resolved the Nick storyline (I hope) by killing him off via Jack but Mary is not happy. She’s concerned. She’s been concerned about him the whole frickin episode since he sassed her as they tried setting up a game night with Dean.
It’s like these people keep forgetting what Jack is capable of.
He didn’t have to relish the kill though. On the other hand, it felt like Mary’s concern was a bit much — if it were me I would’ve kept my mouth shut as to not upset a powerful fledging being into killing me by accident.
So Mary dies…again.
This is also why we can’t have nice things. I know Dean’s never gonna let this shit go. Sure Cas has fucked up a bunch, but killing a direct blood relative of Dean’s…nope. That’s unforgivable. I know they’re not gonna let Dean kill off a kid but I know he’s NEVER ever gonna forget Jack’s role in Mary’s (second) demise.
Why couldn’t you leave the boy alone Mary?!?!?!!?!
The boys show up, did they not circle back to pick up their mother? Seriously? Goodness Lord. So depressing watching the brothers just assuming their mommy’s coming back 😭
Cas (cuz of course this shit went tits up while Daddy was away) calls Dean to get caught up on what happened the last episode and is concerned that the Winchesters left their mom alone with Jack. Then why did you leave him Cas? You could’ve taken him with you. Like it would’ve been better if one of the brothers was alone with Jack? Badasses they may be, but they would’ve ended up just like Mary let’s be honest. The only difference would’ve been whichever brother got got would’ve come back. Mary will not be getting that special treatment…
Jack is tripping out since he murdered his foster G-maw - ends up flying all over the world (so his soul is definitely gone? But if it were gone, would he even care about killing Mary? everyone’s trying to track him down IDK why he doesn’t just destroy the phone he has. We get flashes of Mary & Jack’s time together and technically I believe she spent the most time with him (at least in season 13)
They’re still giving Mark P work on this show making him the manifestation of Jack’s subconscious cuz the kill is driving Jack insane 😭🥺 He’s reacting so much like a little boy who knows he fucked up it that makes this so much sadder 😭 Jack’s being driven mad with grief.
Oh fuck they’re going to where she died. Oh fuck.
WTF is wrong with these people! He’s a fucking boy! A super power nuke of a boy, but still a fucking boy! Like the Winchesters never made a mistake! What about the nurse who got killed in 4x22 by Sam? All the people Dean slaughtered under the MoC, as a demon! That’s just off the top of my head! No but cuz they’re the fucking protagonists 😡🤬
Samuel Winchester you know manipulating this child Is 5 different kinds of fucked up!
Jack why did you call it an accident! Did you not want to use the words murder? Destroyed? Obliterated?
Dean you piece of shit, why are you lying to this boy!!!!!! You know Jack’s desperate to make peace with you, and you lead him to a grave he’s never supposed to escape?! Poor thing Jack was sooo scared!
Sam, the regret is gonna eat you alive! Sam, for fucks sake, SPEAK THE FUCK UP! You clearly got shit you wanna say, fucking say it!
Dean you’re surprised Jack’s going along with it?! Of course he’s gonna go along with it, he wants to please you, you shady, manipulative BASTARD!
That’s right Castiel stand up for Jack since nobody else is willing to!
Oh boy, the celestial boy is freaking out. Claustrophobia was kicking in, this shit ain’t gonna end well. It’s a dark day when a psychological manifestation of Satan is making sense more than everyone else.
I’m not surprised Jack got out though. That box was made for an archangel and he isn’t that. He’s a nephilim, technically a different entity, right? now, the Winchesters have a pissed off mega-powerful creature on their hands. Great job team 🤣
that’s right Jack, give them a piece of your fucking mind! Fuck ‘em up queen.
Oh shit! I’ve watched this part a dozen times on YouTube, the part where jack makes the whole world tell the truth no matter what! Donald trump is canonically Crowley’s bitch! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
All hail the stapler queen! Iconic!
And God reveals Himself, what grand timing! He says He came for Cas’s prayer (but Cas prayed to Him in season 6 too, no?) but then He states the real reason for His arrival — Jack.
Meanwhile Jack went to see his real G-maw, not a good plan Jackie boy. She’s put 2+2 together that her daughter Kelly is NOT ok and now Jack has to confess the truth. (Where’s the dad? Was the actor unavailable or dead at this point?)
Sam was outed to love Celine Dion (I love her two Sammy it’s ok, her songs are AMAZING! My favorite is it’s all coming back to me now, I crush that shit in karaoke.) Dean follows a mommy blog 🤣 of course he does, probably cuz he identifies with her more & loves that her life is so full of shit (like I said, he identifies with her).
God don’t sanction lying, the real God would never do such a thing. Isn’t it like the 6th commandment, thou shall not lie? Like dude, the fuck?!
And no, writing means telling stories that are often made up but it’s not meant to deceive anybody. But Hollywood on the other hand…yeesh.
Dean breaking Chuck’s guitar 🤣
Chuck saying ‘DON’T!’ Having Dean shook 🤣
Why are you asking them how things are, like you don’t know?! You’re omnipotent!
They canonically made the British queen a lizard? Damn. These old Americans (the writers) are dicks!
Finally Sam is speaking up! Thank God!
Dean stop blaming people, Jesus, it was an accident (Jack you phrased it sooooo poorly though)! shout out to Sam for taking it this so well cuz he’s been through too much this season alone. He lost a whole fucking army, then his mom after he got to know her this time! And the concussions! So many concussions.
Angry Cas is sooooo fucking hot 🥵 when he slammed that truck with his fist 😏
Awww the first thing he does when he sees Jack is hugs him. Jack needed that so bad!
The biggest travesty is we never got to see the SquirrelVerse!
When Sam asks if God is watching them — Sam do you even know what omnipotent means?!
It’s just like I said in season 11. God doesn’t owe anyone anything. But everyone owes Him everything. He gave everyone the freedom to choose, for better or worse. But this iteration of who God is seems to watch what people and creatures decide to do with their lives. He made the weapon to see who among Sam, Dean or Cas would take it and strike Jack down.
So ultimately when Dean tracks Jack down and Jack throws Cas into a tombstone and Sam is running dramatically to stop it, Dean ultimately decides not to kill Jack. But why though? He kept talking shit about how Jack needed to be dealt with, but when the moment comes, he won’t do it?! I mean I’m glad but it doesn’t really make sense?!
Was it the puppy eyes? Did Sam teach Jack that trick? But Jack closed his eyes at the last second???
Oh Dean, you’re such a fucking softie. That’s on you God. You made him softer than Mr. Pillsberry.
If anything, Dean is the step daddy. Cas is Daddy. And then there’s Uncle Sam 🤣
Sam is many things, but stupid is never one of them. Naïve maybe, trusting, desperate. But not stupid. And not crazy, this time 🤣
I will say what makes this story compelling is the fact that the Winchesters find themselves locked in a cycle of violence at the hands of their Creator, and they’re refusing to commit further acts of violence in effort to stop it all and rebel against their cruel, dispassionate maker. But they have no means to back it up…today.
Not the Burger King catchphrase🤣🤣🤣
Not Jack being…smote?
Not Dean being yeeted into another tombstone?
Sam, why did you think that was gonna work on God? He made the weapon. You really think He’d make something that could kill Himself? Nah bruh.
So we’ve approached the ending of the penultimate season. 20 more episodes to go! Ah!!!! I’m excited but also not since the ending is what I know (mildly).
Side note - Sam & Dean still don’t know about Castiel’s bargain with the Empty (kinda seems pointless since God killed Jack anyway…Cas basically fucked himself for nothing 🤦🏾♀️ [I know how it ends but yeah still])
It’s not about the destination though, it’s the journey (I keep telling myself that).
God said fuck y’all. Shouldn’t’ve poked the bear…now these poor innocent people gonna die like sheep to the slaughter. Y’all got a lot of cleaning up to do and with so little people to help you.
So did God undo all the killings the Winchesters did? Cuz damn….that’s 10+ years of work undone. In 1 moment.
They’re not getting out of the cycle anytime soon.
#supernatural#sam winchester#dean winchester#castiel#rowena macleod#mary winchester#john winchester#jack kline#chuck shurley#destiel#deancas#bobby singer#charlie bradbury#rowena supernatural#supernatural season 14
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Ngl, I kept thinking about Shadybug’s declaration during her swinging a sword towards Ladybug at how in her world, she doesn’t have a girl squad that help inspire her, a best friend, a gentle mom and a boyfriend.
It honestly got me thinking what her dynamic is with her own mother. It kinda scares me to think in the alternate world that Sabine is a terrible parent but I wonder if Tom is also present in Emonette’s life. I also wonder if that means Emonette hates being a baker girl compared to Marinette who is very proud of who her parents are as we have seen her throw in Gabriel’s face for his shitty pancakes and her showdown with Monarch and beating him to death with a baker’s peel.
Anyway, so many possibilities to sift through and wonder just how bad Emonette has it. (I also want to hc that this Marinette never had a Socqueline to help deal with Chloe pre-Origins which definitely meant she was bullied relentlessly to the point of changing her style as we know it)
#miraculous ladybug#shadybug!marinette#marinette dupain cheng#emonette#ml thoughts#ml rants#ml paris spoilers#ml paris special#shadybug
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🥁- 🥁 - 🥁 - 🥁 - 🥁 🥁 🥁 🥁 📯- 📯 - 📯 - 📯 This is -wavy news, I’m bert thee tertle. The small Ape tells us what’s next in the president’s dump.
Ur mum’sabitch, you bastard! President Dump and his purp lawyer Rudy Poopy Poopliani Pumped Joe-Biden’s erection. President pump personally pushed for probes of political opponents, including Joe Bo ᗺ McDemocrat, th-at’s all ho-mies. Washington.
Republicrackers are mounting President Dump while insisting nothing’s wrong.
Republicans say that the Trump presidency is a complete charade, that the last election -is simply invalid, getim outta office, and democrats are just bored, and grasping atPenis to make Shit happen-... That is poor repoorting.
An American siseh-bah uh-uh bahduh consiʂ duh consiƧiƧ conduh-bah uh bar ɿɒd duh combarah sis of of turkey. Hummus has more.
The man is noɯɐu. The man is a-turkey. Greecey and hair-ey. SogroƧ. President Dump tried to Pork him, but the turkey refused entry. I’m Bent-
And this is wavy news. Godzilla fired a barrage of turkeys into the country music association awards on Thursday, killing dozens of awards. Sgt. Music-allotta has more.
LEFREƎЯꟻLE REE ƎЯ Я Я MOM- The C.R.A.P. started with a medley of allstar country shit and setup the evening for girl-power, but males took all the awards [ :( ] Girth Brooks took the female entertainer of the year award for the -umpth time. Luubed Co-cks took won the female vocalist award, and mus-ty grapes took the best award-award, and Ashley McNews took best New-dist. McNews recalled once playing a chip chow for joj-Prine, who complimented her cock. “The next day he shook my g-ay” *Woo!* “And he said Eureka, you’re no good” *Laughter*.
Turkey’s fired a barrage of salami rockets into music groups on Thursday, after shitty music killed dozens of people. Royal-Doyal has salami and turkey. Nom nom nom.
Militant rock groups, Salami-Jihad, killed Nickle-back on Thursday. Calming the worst rock in months. That is Royal-ing.
Turkey’s built barricades and stockpiled makeshift weapons, setting the stage for salami showdowns. Sabrina shat her clothes.
I was woken yesterday at d-icks thirty by the lunch alarm like for 8 minutes str8, and then like at lunchtime we had an emergency lunch with the lunch president and he basically made the lunch way more severe than we realized?
China’s global times announced big honking titties- collapsed... Our nuclear turkey has taken important steps to landing its first countrymusicspacecraft on Mars. Garth brooks reports.
Space success! Space applause met the completion of the Spacelander test on Space day. Its Space journey to Mars should take about 7 Space minutes. It’s a powerful Space rocket called Space Launch 5 to transport the Space probe through Space. It’s off to the Moon first to bring back some Space rocks. It’s the third Space man in Space with it’s own Space Rocket.
That is Roiters Loser, and in Hell, I’m spurting-jizz. Wavy news... 📯- 📯 - 📯 - 📯 - 📯- 📯 - 📯 📯- 📯 - 📯 - 📯 -*toot*
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* 【ｆｉｌｅｄ : RICHIE TOZIER 】 is a CANON CHARACTER and PARTLY REMEMBERS THEIR PAST LIFE. the HUMAN is known to be GREGARIOUS and CRUDE and reminds me of a coin toss, scraped knees, + the last one laughing after the joke’s passed.
* TRIGGER WARNING FOR ... clown content, death mentions, marijuana + recreational drug use. very briefly in this post, but also just in general for this character!
FACECLAIM: thomas weatherall
AGE: 25
SPECIES: stupid human boy
PRONOUNS + GENDER: he/him, cismale
ORIENTATION: “i like what i like!”
MEMORY STATUS: richie remembers childhood and leaving derry - does not fully recall part 2 happenings
𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 …
you’re richie tozier. you were born and tolerated raised by your two parents in derry, maine. your dad tried his best to instill his stoic workman’s disposition in you, and failed to hide his disappointment when you couldn’t ( wouldn’t ) catch on.
your mom, bless her, tried her best to keep up with the litany of rampant thoughts you turned into endless chatter - you come to appreciate that as you get older.
you’re one of seven in a group of misfits. love is the sun down your back and the wind in your tangled hair in the dead heat of summer.
you’re mr funnyman. you have to be, with those stupid glasses you wear and your too - long limbs making you a flop in every other department.
beep beep, richie! but it’s affectionate, always kind - this is your chosen family. they love you they love you they love you
( they love what you let them know, anyway. only what’s allowed in that small town hell. )
there’s an evil child-eating clown ( yeah, really! ) and a showdown for the ages that you stupidly forget. when It comes back, so do you.
and sometimes bullying works!
but you go back to your shiny life in l.a a broken man, with a clownish cackle in the back of your mind and the plights of your friends like a guilt-laden weight on your shoulders.
𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 …
you’re richie tozier, and you’ve just woken up from the craziest dream! or that’s what you tell yourself, anyway. this city is a second chance - you’re young again, spry again, and derry’s vicelike grip on you feels a world away.
( your therapist in l.a would probably say living in ardent denial of your entire life is not a health way to live - but what does that schmuck know ??? )
you call your mom whenever you remember to. too busy, you see, fucking around on this island and getting stupid high on the couch so as not to let in a Thought.
love is a shitty wine cooler and some b-movie with your newest ‘friend’ at 2 in the morning.
there is no clown showdown or group of friends - but you can remember that summer when you were just a kid, and every single one of their faces clear as day. the second part ( the worst part ) hasn’t happened yet. isn’t that cool?
wanted connections: friends, lovers, ex lovers, mentor/pupil relationship, a drinking/dr*g/party friend, chaos twins, etc. i love going off natural chemistry and will never mind assuming connections!
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Wait can you please post a link to starrboy's fic? I can't find it and I love Jason + lanterns <33
waiting for it, that green light series by starrboy
so this series has been put on indefinite hiatus(and every day I selfishly pray our lovely author once more gathers inspo, but that's neither here nor there and completely their choice), but it starts out with Jason dealing with phantom pains from the Batarang wound a la UtRH and Guy Gardner finding him, taking him in for the night and then, well, Jason just...never leaves and Guy never asks him too. Over time he befriends the other four corpsmen and gets adopted into their posse. I really like how all the lanterns give Jason a chance at face value, of which Jason returns, and then it works out so easily with them all accepting each other. There's no real conflict except subtle underlying their collective issues when it comes to dealing with other bats(Disrespect, disregard, Batarang scar, etc). It's really cute and fluffy, with good mom!Talia, JayKyle, and HalGuy, while also just being an easy feel-good read. This series is like my version of that fandom fav trope: "Bruce hugged Jason during that showdown, so now Jason understands how much Bruce loves him and everything and everyone is happy and fine". This is my sugar & honey-sweet comfort series. It's domestic and it's Lovely. Guy and Jason's friendship have me frothing at the mouth, and them bonding over shared experiences with shitty fathers and other factors of life bring me overwhelming joy
---you've probably read these next fics as you're also a lanterns + Jay lover, but for others: here are some more series recs!---
Star Sapphire Jason series by Do_not_careissa
starrboy actually wrote in their notes/comments that they pulled inspo from this series and what made them fall in love with lanterns+ jay content! Personally, I love me some jay content that doesn't devolve into "he's the angry, stupid, jocky one :/" and this series does it amazingly! This series is about Jason's growing anxiety about his spot in the family, feeling like he'll never be able to live up to the high expectations they hold for him nor being able to recover his lost connections due to his death and messy resurrection. Though worried over where he stands within the Bats, Jason still continues to work for his recognition and makes sure his family stays safe. The series purposefully states that Jason's anger stems from his love and compassion for others and that's what earns him a star sapphire ring AHHH perfection. Jason struggles with his own self-worth, value as a person, and how he's in over his own head while still depicting Jason as capable, smart, and willful. It walks the line of Jason being a sensitive young man who usually leads with his emotions and not always being able to handle them, but also not woobifing him to hell and back fantastically. I love the friendships formed, Jason's road to healing(his self-worth and is finally being told, after years of "you're too emotional, and need to shut them out more", that it's okay & good to feel and express his feelings) by being surrounded by people who appreciate his company, and also focusing on the side-effects of Jason disappearing off the face of the planet as well as other characters relationships to each other(not just to Jason). This series has JayKyle & HalGuy(all stupidly failing at romancing their other and pinning horribly obviously), Star-Sapphire-who's-eager-to-learn&grow!Jason, Bats trying to work through their issues, and the lanterns taking in Jason as one of their own(including Dad!Hal!). Still marked as incomplete and has yet to update since the end of Nov. 2020, if those kinds of things put you off, but there are 14 parts, and, like, I can not stress this enough, It's so good! I just can't get over the friendship between A. the lanterns between each other and B. the lanterns with Jason!
Emergency Line series by crucifixinhell
Brand new series, so far with only 2-parts, and it's about the friendship between Hal and Jason. Very cute. Angsty as well because, well, we all know what happens to robin!Jason :/. Written within Hal's POV and is snippets of Jason talking to him about his day, asking for help, etc. as Hal reflects on similarities between him and Jay while appreciating his companionship all within part one. This leads into part two where Hal reflects on how he was probably Jason's safe space (in the way that an English teacher is for many) as he struggles to deal with the death of Jason, how it affects him and his relationship with others(primarily Bruce). It's really nice to read about robin!Jason having someone to reach out to, especially because, in his run, Jason was so isolated from the hero community due to Bruce's need to keep him close(and not run off with friends like Dick to form a new superhero team which...I mean...mission failed successfully, I guess, B-man). Hal and Jason's friendship is really cute, and, as it's in Hal's POV, we don't realize how much the relationship affected both of them until the realizations start to fall into place *After* Jason's death. The author says they plan to write more for this series once they figure out where they want it to go, but if they don't, they've started to write other Hal & Jason works which are really good as well
It's Just Paint... Right? series by Jane0Doe
In this series, Jason is secretly a blue lantern and hiding his ring from the other Bats as not wanting to deal with the backlash and negative connotations they already have with lanterns. This three-part-and-in-progress series has Kyle-in-denial about how hot he thinks Jason is he feels with Jason now hanging around with him and the other corpsmen. This is what I read for my angsty, yet more than decently self-indulgent, pleasures with incredibly-bad-dad!Bruce. Some would say he's OOC, I would say "read it with feeling because sometimes bruce Sucks Ass and I Don't Care About Nuance because Jason's my baby and I'm using him to work through something right now, and if that includes him running off to space to refind a found family then so be it." the entire series is only about 3,550 words, so it's a quick read, but it gives me my much needed Jason whump with a side of lanterns and Jason friendship
Of course, there are a handful of other lantern+Jay fics, ones that I very much enjoy or can't wait to read(Glowsticks and Bullet Holes, I'm looking at you. You've been in my tabs for weeks(months, actually shhhh), and I can't wait till my brain finally kicks and reads you), but these series definitely help feed me and my happy little lantern lover/Jason lover heart
#fic rec#series rec#writing this out made me want to pick up more lantern comics so i can write fics with them + Jay but not OOC#If you must know; yes i'm still pronouncing Hal wrong; no i will not be fixing that matter; good day#I went a little overboard in expressing my love and joy but these authors are out here doing the lord's work#they all just mesh so well together!!! and so many people Just. Don't. Understand.#jason todd#hal jordan#guy gardner#kyle rayner#green lantern corps
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tenshi | prologue
IN WHICH: after two years living with her mom in america, y/n can finally come home.
PAIRING(S): tsukishima kei x ukai! volleyball player! reader, maybe kageyama tobio x ukai! volleyball player! reader
INSOIRED BY: all i want — kodaline
WARNING: bad relationship with a parent, hint(s) of divorce, cursing
A/N: oops i redid it but oh well! i hope you enjoy <3
prologue, pt. 1, pt. 2
your hands gripped the straps of your bag harshly, heart thumping hard in your chest as you tried to keep your cool.
two years ago, you were taken from your peaceful life with your dad in order to live with your mom in america. you didn’t even want to go with her, but you were only 16 at the time. you had no say in your life, much less who you wanted to live with.
“what?” you were dumbfounded, staring at your father with tears threatening to brim your eyes. he, however, was looking away and avoiding your gaze.
“i’m sorry,” he murmured, guilt laced in his tone as he sniffed angrily. he looked nothing like your mother, who looked at you with a stoic yet triumphant expression.
she had won. that was all that mattered.
“i’ll pick her up at 8 am sharp tomorrow,” your mom turned towards your father, whose eyes were still downcast. his hair, which was usually pulled back in his headband, fell in small wisps over his face.
he was defeated.
“keishin.” her voice was sharp. annoyed. condescending. unfortunately, it was her normal voice.
“fine.” he spat, hastily wiping the tears that streamed down his face. you only watched on, feeling the first tear roll down your cheek.
you were both defeated.
deep breaths. in and out.
you had lived in new york during your two years in america. you lived in an apartment with your mom and her boyfriend, much to your dismay. he was one of many, and you never took kindly to the other men before him, but you had a special kind of dislike for him. it was a passionate hatred that made ‘family dinners’ turn into a condescending showdown between you and the couple.
you didn’t think that you’d come back, yet here you were. frankly, you were terrified. you hadn’t left japan with the best goodbye.
you reached into the pocket of your jacket, pulling out a lollipop that you quickly unwrapped and popped in your mouth. you fixed the hairband that held your hair back.
life is just a game. face it head on.
“what do you mean by ‘leaving?’”
his face was as stoic as ever, as was his voice. but what else did you expect from him?
“i have to go to new york.” you reached down and grabbed your bag. you didn’t want to look at him; he was one of the few who knew that you had to go. the guilt was eating you up alive, but he didn’t need to know that. “to live with my mom.”
from behind his glasses, the amber eyes of tsukishima blinked in disbelief. you couldn’t leave. you still had to accompany them to spring nationals and help your dad out with their practices. how could you tell him so late? he was one of your best friends. how could you do this to him?
“i leave tomorrow,” you added with a shaky sigh. “8 am. tell the others, okay?” you turned to look at him, expecting to see the cold expression that used to bring you comfort. instead, you found nothing.
kei had left.
“y/n?”
you turned your head towards the call of your name, a smile breaking out on your face when you saw your dad and your great grandpa both standing a few ways behind you.
the ukai reputation followed you all no matter where you went, and the mere sight of both coach ukais at the same place was a rare sight to behold. as usual, your dad stood a few feet away from his grandpa in fear of yet another one of the old man’s kicks.he never did get used to them.
“dad! grandpa!” you ran towards them at full speed, grabbing them both into a hug that nearly crushed their backs. you had gotten quicker over the years.
“y/n!” they both yelled in unison, and you let out a relieved laugh as they hugged you back.
a part of you wanted to cry out of happiness. another part of you wanted to yell and cheer as loudly as you could. but you did none of those, choosing to relish in the arms of the people you had missed so dearly.
“you guys didn’t have to come along,” you sniffed, trying to play your sadness off as you stared at the large group of boys in front of you. your arms were still around yachi, who was sobbing into your arms and babbling about how you shouldn’t go.
“c’mon y/n, we aren’t that mean,” tanaka snickered, eyes glassy as he ruffled your hair. next to him, nishinoya nodded his head energetically.
“we couldn’t just let you go without saying bye,” suga added with a kind smile, and you managed one too.
you hugged them all individually, listening to their words of advice and reassurance in your ear.
you hugged yamaguchi tightly, feeling his arms hug you equally as tight as you let your tears wet his shirt. ever so softly, you whispered, “he didn’t come.”
you had looked for his familiar blonde hair the moment you saw the others walk in. you found nothing; he hadn’t shown up. the night before, you had taken the time to call him over and over. you wanted to say sorry. you wanted to say goodbye, and he didn’t respond each time.
yamaguchi froze for a second before relaxing, a deep sigh leaving his lips. “i told him to come. tsukki has a reason, i know it.” he pulled away, his freckled smile hiding some kind of guilt behind it as he looked at you one more time. it wasn’t his place to say. “you’ll call, right?”
you nodded. “of course i will, tadashi.”
“i had to sneak out every night to play! can you imagine— she hated volleyball that much!” your hands waved wildly, nearly smacking your dad in the face as you ranted on about your experience with your mom.
was it obvious that you took after your dad more?
“unbelievable!” your grandpa ikkei yelled out, his voice so loud that it made his grandson nearly swerve off of the rod. “i’m telling you keishin, it’s a good thing things ended the way it did because your daughter’s talent cannot be stopped!”
“i hear you, shitty old man,” your dad grumbled under his breath, but of course, grandpa ikkei heard it. immediately, he grabbed his grandson’s ear.
“what did you just call me? if we weren’t in a car dealing with your stupid driving then i would kick your ass—!”
you watched it all play out from the back seat, a beaming smile on your face as you listened to their arguing. it felt good to be home.
┈┈ 𑁍༅ཾ༚ ┈┈
A/N: i redid this idea with different pairings and a slightly different plotline. thanks for reading!
pt. 1 is here, pt. 2
#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima kei#tsukishima angst#tsukishima headcanons#haikyuu tsukishima#tsukishima imagines#yamaguchi tadashi#kageyama x reader#kageyama imagines#kageyama smut#kageyama tobio#haikyuu imagines#ukai keishin
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I wish you would write a fic where Jason has meet each of the Endless.
love the concept!
<3 part of this ask game
this got kinda long~ I love the Sandman series and so I went a little ham~
Also. Hear me out, it’s canon that Destruction of the endless looks a lot like Roy Harper. So for our purposes here, Roy Harper is the identity Destruction took on when he went to wander the world bc he didn’t want to be Destruction any more.
-
Destiny is the second of the Endless to touch the life of Jason Todd. This is true of most mortals, who always feel the briefest touch of his older sister at birth. Destiny is especially intrigued by this mortal though. This child whose name is written so often in his Book of Souls. He touches the child briefly, just enough to ensure his heart will continue to beat until the time comes for his fate. Then it is back to the garden, back to the Book, back to the duty of oiling the ever turning gears of the universe.
Death meets him again after that crucial moment of birth. Not once, but many times. Little moments where a sickly baby’s heart stutters and she appears. Destiny’s own touch on the child ensures that these moments of contact are brief. Still, it is enough to ensure that when the time comes for Death to cradle this child against her, she will be fond. And when the time comes for her to let him go, she will mourn the tragedy of a first life cut too short and a second life spun out too wildly.
So does Jason as it happens. Despair is ever present in his young life. She sits on his chest as he listens to his parents argue in the living room. She is a constant companion at his mother’s bedside. She will not leave him alone as she rends at the flesh of Jason’s soul with her hooked ring. He’s somewhat of a favorite amusement of hers until the Batman takes him away.
As the life bleeds from his body in a warehouse, Death and Despair are both by his side. One squeezing at his heart and the other cradling him close to her chest. In the end, Despair extinguishes his last heartbeat with her own two hands before turning him over to Death. Jason thinks he might love Death almost as much as he had loved Catherine Todd. Almost as much as he could have loved Sheila Haywood. She reminds him of the moms and big sisters on TV and in books.
Death’s patience with him is seemingly endless. She holds his hand as they wander. She wipes his tears when he cries. Explains when he does not understand how he wanders with her. He is waiting, she says, until it is time for him to go back. When that time comes, her little brother will come to take him away. Jason does not know how long he walks with her, standing behind and to the left as she guides souls away. He goes with Destiny when he comes and bids her a temporary goodbye.
Jason wakes in the arms of Delirium almost a year after Destiny took him from Death’s side. The youngest of the Endless is quite taken with him it seems. She whispers in his ear with no ill intent. In Jason’s other ear, Desire spins those words into poison. Delirium whispers that Jason will take her to Destruction- Desire obfuscates the meaning. Jason will take well to destruction- he’ll be the one causing it after all. Between the two of them, intentional and not, they wind him up to new heights of madness.
In the wake of his big showdown with the Joker, Desire departs with a laugh, satisfied with the conclusion of their game. Delirium still clings, warping Jason with her mere existence. Insistent that he will take her to her big brother. He speaks to her face to face now that he has become somewhat immunized to her maddening presence from long exposure.
If she does not disappear to cause havoc in the night, Delirium’s presence is sometimes enough to call the older brother she does not seek. Jason kind of likes the guy. There’s a ruthless sort of practicality to him in spite of his tendency to riddle. His coolness reminds Jason of Bruce in a way. That and the constant self absorbed pity party. It’s almost comforting to think that even the undying personification of Dreams can be prone to wallowing in his own misery. It certainly makes Jason feel better for doing it himself.
Jason never expects to meet Destruction. He doesn’t even know that he has for a while actually. Delirium has gone off to do god knows what and Jason has gone off to rescue his almost-big-brother’s former best friend from a prison compound in Qurac. Roy Harper smiles up at Jason like no one ever has when Jason breaks down the walls of his shitty little prison cell.
It’s shocking how quickly Jason falls a little bit in love with Roy Harper. It’s mesmerizing to watch him take things apart and rebuild them as something else. The man is a force to be reckoned with, breaking down and rebuilding Jason’s walls with himself inside. And it’s easy to let Roy help Jason rebuild himself.
Delirium comes crashing back into Jason’s life and nearly destroys it when she runs to Roy.
“Destruction! He found you! Jason brought you back to me!”
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Kate/Yelena Masterlist
Links Last Checked: April 16th, 2024
And Maybe They’d Be Happy for a While (ao3) - Draco_sollicitus, 1k
Rating: Teen And Up
Summary: Alone on a quiet night, Kate Bishop sings to herself in her kitchen while making dinner.
Nearby, a Black Widow overhears and decides to drop in for a visit.
(AKA The One Where Kate Sings American Pie)
Aren't you dating bro? (ao3) - Benjamin236, 4k
Rating: General
Summary: Kate Bishops mind is in turmoil as she ponders whether or not she's dating Yelena. Enter the Tracksuits pointing out the obvious that she and Yelena are dating in this holiday special.
A wounded bird (ao3) - FanficReader321, 4k
Rating: Teen And Up
Summary: The night after the final showdown, Kate returns to her apartment only to find she might have underestimated the extent of her injuries. Thankfully, Yelena shows up at the perfect time and helps fix her wounded bird.
Bandages & Beers (ao3) - JustGettingBy, 4k
Rating: Teen And Up
Summary: A few months after Christmas, Kate Bishop is still trying to sort out the mess that currently is her life.
A knock at the window changes everything.
Champagne (ao3) - melonmania, 3k
Rating: General
Summary: Yelena drags Kate along to meet her Mama and Papa. The champagne is uncorked.
Everything That’s Broke, Leave It To The Breeze (ao3) - RedFamily, 11k
Rating: Teen And Up
Summary: Kate was spending her Christmas Day at the Bartons’ when she receives a call from a familiar assassin.
Forever & More (ao3) - blkmgck, 14k
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Yelena gets the fresh start she deserves after destroying The Red Room. She flies back to New York City with Natasha and decides on a whim to go to college. While she loves being able to rekindle her relationship with her sister, and Melina and Alexei are taking their role as parents more seriously, she is somewhat of a recluse. Her family always begs her to meet new people, which is why she decides to take a chance on Kate Bishop, who stole her favorite seat at her favorite diner.
-
Or, the fluffy cushy life Yelena deserves to live with Kate Bishop.
Home For The Holidays (ao3) - galaxiesreader, 3k
Rating: Teen And Up
Summary: Okay, Kate thought. This looks bad.
Hospital was out of the question, her mom was still in prison, and Clint was was still with his family. Which left her…fucked. It wasn’t like she was tight with any other Avengers or super-people. Well, except for–
“Shit.”
-
Or, Yelena patches Kate up, spends the holiday with her, and learns about New Year's kisses.
Like Starbucks, But Bad (ao3) - colorblockhightops, 15k
Rating: General
Summary: After Kate's mom is arrested, Kate picks up a job in order to start a new chapter of independence. Kate picks up a job at the Peter Pan Donut & Pastry shop, where she becomes friends with MJ. MJ starts to look up to Kate as Kate encourages her to take a chance on the awkward boy who seems starstruck by her - while MJ has her fun teasing Kate about the cute blonde who comes in just to order a black coffee and heckle Kate.
OR
Yelena and Kate flirt in between shitty coffee and sugary donuts.
Mac N' Hot Sauce (ao3) - ChocolateXMyMouth, 8k
Rating: General
Summary: Kate is now living with Yelena in Ohio.
And they're as good of a pair as you would imagine.
smitten's a bad look on me (ao3) - arrowsandbows, 34k
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Kate and Yelena partner up. Kate and Yelena start hooking up. (Kate’s trying to be cool about it.)
Something just like this (ao3) - lexi531, 12k
Rating: Explicit
Summary: After the events of Christmas, Kate is feeling lost and alone.
And then Yelena comes crashing back into her life. Bringing chaos and hopefully happiness.
uninvited (ao3) - Anonymous, 1k
Rating: Teen And Up
Summary: “Ha, okay, you win, Kate Bishop. Show me all of your secrets. Not that you have any.”
(or: kate has a not-date to not-celebrate not-christmas with a not-invited not-romanoff. now say that ten times quickly.)
Were These Sweet Memories In Revenge? (ao3) - TheWorthyElevator, 21k
Rating: Explicit
Summary: When Kate met her idol, she never thought she would be on the run from a gang in tracksuits, find out her mother's fiancee is a criminal, or fall in love with a former Black Widow assassin sent to kill said idol. But, hey, life's been crazier. What could possibly go wrong?
Where We Used To Love Our Hearts Out (ao3) - GeryonWoods, 28k
Rating: Mature
Summary: Collection of nonchronological one-shots spanning decades in the lives of Kate & Yelena. Each chapter is a standalone piece but they all connect to form a bigger whole. The story will always be finished and never not finished because another piece could come at any time BUT it is not expected or necessary.
You've Got My Number (ao3) - WritesEveryBlueMoon, 1k
Rating: Teen And Up
Summary: It's not really normal to be on a regular texting basis with your enemy, but in Kate's defence, Yelena was the one who found her number. And it was hardly Kate's fault if her enemy was fun and easy to talk to. As long as they kept their boundaries, what harm could come from a bit of texting?
#themculibrary#mcu#marvel#hawkeye: series#kate bishop#yelena boleva#kelena masterlist#masterlists#f/f#kelena
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The time has come…
The final match begins.
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Things I want to read in the upcoming Rebel Robin Book
High school is a monster, and it's eating everyone Robin knows. As sophomore year starts, Robin's Odd Squad friends have decided to try to be just like everyone else. Her best friends couple up and expect her to come along for the ride. They can't stop talking about school and college and careers. But Robin has bigger problems--she's been hiding out with the band kids since middle school, hoping nobody would notice that she's something even stranger than a French horn player who can speak four languages: she's gay.
She's convinced the only way she can learn to be herself is by fleeing to Europe for a summer to experience real life. But she has no money, no permission, and no one to share the adventure with. How is she supposed to be her true self in Hawkins, Indiana? The weirdest girl in Hawkins has spent her whole life trying to fit in. Now, she's going to break out.
Sprinkled with Easter eggs that reference our favorite Stranger Things characters, this contemporary coming-of-age story set in the '80s is about one girl's realization that the only person she needs to be accepted by is herself.
Sophomore year. She is in Nancy’s year. So yes, Robin doesn’t have the same age as Steve, despite that complan about Tammy Thompson like she has been in the class with them all the time. I want that time paradox adressed and clarified properly.
Robin’s comments about high school drama and insulting Miss Prissy.
A lot of wacky adventures with her friends and foes.
The introduction of the idea of the Hellfire Club.
I wonder how her Odd Squad friends are. I sense maybe one or two could be future dead corpses new characters from season 4 (my bets would be on Fred, Vickie or even Eddie himself).
Robin’s family. I want a confirmation about if Levon Hawke will play her younger brother like in real life (I mean, they have basically the same face, it would be weird if they shared a scene and they weren’t family lol).
Maybe she lives in the trailer park. That would help to simplify things plot wise.
For some reason, I imagine Robin’s mom is dead, she was the one that get her into the band, and her father is the only one around. Anyway, please, Mr. Buckley, DON’T BE AN ASSHOLE. The group of shitty dads is full.
Tammy Thompson. For some reason, I picture her with the face of Lana Condor in full Jubilee costume and I totally get the crush XD
Also I hope Tammy is a cheerleader. I’m all for positive representation of cheerleaders for once, instead of the “vapid, alpha bitch” we usually have.
Jokes with “But I’m a cheerleader!” (I don’t care if that movie is later. It’s my fantasy).
Speaking of lesbians, I want a lot of lesbians. Robin never declares her love to Tammy, but unbeknown to her, Vickie loves her in secret. Dumb lesbians. Hell, her goal is to work at Scoops so she can fly to Europe and get laid in France.
Also I hope the rumours are true and Vickie is Amybeth Mcnulty.
Bonus if she is a goth redhead here.
Robin’s passerby comments of ST characters and past events, like Barb’s death (since sure now they were on the same grade). I suppose the writer will end the story the day of Dustin’s arrival (aka 3x01).
Speaking of Steve, it could be through her eyes we finally see what happened after the showdown at the Byers. Something along the lines of “Steve came to high school with his face destroyed, and Billy was expulsed from the basket team due to that”. Also lol if there is a scene in which Billy tries unsuccessfully to “seduce” her XD
Double bonus if she comments about how stupid are basket players being shirtless and so full of that macho bravado.
#rebel robin#robin buckley#stranger things#stranger things 4#slayernina writes stuff#slayernina hopes stuff XD
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You're writing Scream Resurrection fanfic? May I ask the plot?
i never expected to get asked this, since most ppl haven't seen scream resurrection??
but, uh, yeah, kinda. yes and no. did u see the grinch/tony the tiger fanfic?
this is like my fanfic equivalent to that. more under the cut bc this got long, my bad. 😅
i might not even finish it, tbh, i've changed it like six times and thus far, it's so bad looking and ugly. i'm not trying to be a downer-- it's just. mm, i've got all the pieces there but i can't bring them together right and it's been bumming me out. but that's not the answer to ur question, okay, anyway, so the wip in question is a crack crossover timeline-what-timeline fic where beth survives the finale and hightails it out to bumfuck nowhere indiana and meets max mayfield bc while i don't watch st, i rly like max. she's just neat. and her mom is hot. and her stepdad is shitty, so here's where we get the plot part. they're both horror fans so they bond over spooky stuff, yada yada, beth sets max up to become her next partner, max plays along just long enough to kill shitty stepdad and then be done with the ghostface junk BUT beth is. beth. so she continues with her own solo killing spree max isn't down with and it accumulates in a horror fan versus horror fan showdown.
annnnnd since i'm utilizing the setting of the st 'verse, i figure there'll be some upside down shenanigans?? i've vaguely planned that out but i haven't gotten far enough in any of my versions of this fic (i've totally scrapped at least 3) to write that part. and idk how well i can even write that part since st mythos is a lil beyond me, but i mean, i do play dbd so i've got a good enough grasp on the demogorgon. and like!!!
if i'm running with the horror fan vs horror fan theme, why not incorporate both of their respective sub-genres, beth's slasher to max's creature feature?
albeit, imho, i wouldn't actually categorize st as a creature feature. i stopped watching it specifically bc i got like, 3 eps in and there was STILL no creature to be seen. demogorgon doesn't show up to the end, ig?? but anyway, even if it's not an outright creature feature, there are defo creature feature elements at my disposal to be exaggerated and indulged in via fanworks.
and get this, all of this is a fic within a fic bc it's part of a collection where i p much just kill off max's shitty stepdad again and again, abcs of death style.
so anyway, it's niche af, it's more of an st fic than a scream: resurrection fic bc it's the st setting (but modern? timelines whomst?? idfk) and max's pov. which...typing this out is funny bc scream is the show that i've actually watched and yet, it's the secondary 'verse incorporated, what even.
i am the only person who is going to read this fic, tbvh. it's pure self-indulgent crossover crack, nothing else. i'll own it, i'm not here for false advertisement.
however, all of that said??
i'm not opposed to writing straight up scream series fic!! i've thought abt writing a crossover between s3 and s1/s2, and also, um. kym/beth hate sex fic (pre beth's ghostface reveal). misc ideas about beth and/or kym kinda bounce around my head erry now and again since they were my faves. i've also thought abt writing piper stuff since she's fun. and i did before, but i only shared it with a couple friends, and would prolly have to polish it up more if i were ever gonna share it outside of that, but that's...not rly the answer to ur question, oof.
wow, this got long. sorry abt that! and ty for the interest even tho the fic is super niche!!
#gosh i rly am the only audience for this#oh well less pressure that way anyway#if it sucks i don't feel as bad#anonymoose#wip#writing#beth (scream)#max mayfield
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mad woman - topper thornton
The one where Topper’s insecurities and jealousy have driven you mad
Warnings: toxic relationship, domestic abuse of the emotional/psychological/slight physical variety, gaslighting
Pairing: Topper x reader
Words: 2.3k
A/N: This is based on mad woman by T Swift. Y’all I just love folklore so much, I couldn’t help myself. Special s/o to my bb @jellyfishbeansontoast for encouraging me to write this one ILYSM 🥺
(gif found on tenor - pls pls let me know if it’s yours and i’ll credit you!!)
What did you think I'd say to that?
Does a scorpion sting when fighting back?
They strike to kill, and you know I will
Fighting with Topper is nothing new. He’s a full kook, living on mommy and daddy’s money, five hundred dollar shirts, five thousand dollar watch. You grew up on the other side of the island, mama shuffling three jobs on top of taking care of you, your father having bailed before you had even made your entrance into this world. His overprivileged upbringing causing him to spout off some really uneducated opinions about class and income disparity in your presence. He used to admire the way you would pop off, trying your best to educate the boy who had stolen your heart. He loved your fire and your heart and honestly it was kind of hot watching you get mad. Now it just annoys him, you can tell. He no longer entertains your rants, but rather shuts you up quickly.
“You know, those pogues just don’t work as hard as we do. That’s why they’re over there in their run down houses, and we’re here sipping expensive champagne on a hundred thousand dollar yacht.” Topper announces unexpectedly one afternoon as you sit tucked under his arm on the Cameron’s yacht. Your mouth falls open in indignation as his friends all agree with him.
You’re not stupid, you know the group you’re in don’t think highly of your kind, but they’ve always treated you with a modicum of respect as Topper’s girlfriend.
“Are you serious, Top? You think pogues don’t work hard enough? My mom works three jobs, Top. Three! I work two jobs myself, and here I am choosing to spend my very limited free time with you and you’re going to say shit like that.”
Topper rolls his eyes, reaching for your arm but you jump back from him. “Come on, y/n it’s not that serious, sit back down.”
“Not that serious? Fuck you Top, of course it’s not that serious to you. You don’t understand the meaning of hard work, you’ve never had to lift a finger to get to where you are.” You’re glaring at him now, so unbelievably frustrated that he’s stubbornly sticking to his earlier statement. “Take me back Rafe,” you turn your glare on Rafe who looks between you and Topper, clearly conflicted.
“Listen baby you’re being crazy,” Topper tries again to reach for you but you swat away his hand.
“I’m serious Rafe, take me back or I will jump off this boat and swim back.” You threaten your boyfriend’s best friend. Despite his earlier aggressions against your friends, he’s always treated you the best since becoming Topper’s girlfriend. And he knows you’re more than likely serious, so he sighs and steers the yacht back towards the docks. You sit on the other end of the boat, ignoring Topper’s attempts to half-heartedly apologize.
The second you near the docks, you don’t waste any time waiting for Rafe to tie the boat to the dock, you make the jump unaided. You see JJ and Pope giving you a concerned look from Heyward’s boat. Their concern only grows as Topper yells your name and tells you to come back. You don’t even look back as you throw your middle finger at him over your shoulder before hopping into Heyward’s boat.
They try and ask you if you’re okay and what happened, but you just shake your head and tell them you don’t want to talk about it. You hear Topper swear as he hits the dock, not fast enough to reach the boat before JJ is driving off.
Your friends don’t like him. They really, really don’t like him. Years of bad blood between him and all of you have them suspicious and untrusting. You don’t fault them for that, having been witness to some of the worst kook v pogue showdowns, but you know both sides have their faults. Sure Topper was responsible for ratting out Pope which resulted in JJ going off the rails after being forced to pay 25k in restitution, but Pope sunk his new speed boat.
But your friends said they would try, for you, and so you don’t really want to get into the specifics of why Topper has made you so mad, lest they renege on their deal.
Every time you call me crazy, I get more crazy
What about that?
And when you say I seem angry, I get more angry
You’ve cooled down by the time night rolls around, and so you find yourself sitting on the beach between Topper’s legs, your back pressed to his chest and his arms wrapped around your middle. You’re enjoying the sounds of the waves crashing on the beach and the feel of your boyfriend wrapped around you when he has to open his mouth and ruin the moment.
“I don’t understand why you have to get so crazy. I was just talking with the boys,” he murmurs behind you. You can’t tell if he’s actively trying to rile you up or if it’s just a side effect of his lack of courtesy.
“Crazy?” You ask him incredulously before repeating yourself, “Crazy?! Oh I am sorry for being so insane standing up for my mother. How would you like it if I made a comment about your mom, huh?”. You struggle against him, but he links his arms around you tighter.
“Hey, calm down! I didn’t say anything about your mother, you’re the one just looking for something to be angry about.” He replies, more than a little annoyed at your combative response.
You throw his arms off of you, angrily scrambling to find purchase in the sand to pull yourself up. “I’m not looking for anything! You drive me crazy, you make me angry!”
You were never the most combative of people, growing up around JJ you let him be the hotheaded one whose temper flared at every minor sleight. You on the other hand preferred to sit back from the action, only stepping in when your friends were in trouble.
Topper brought out another side in you. At first you thought it was a good thing, he made you feel so much, made you so passionate.
“I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean it like that,” he sighs as he stands up to walk in front of you, grabbing your hands.
“Every time you call me crazy, I get more crazy,” you admit to him, “and when you say I seem angry I only get more angry. Why are you trying to antagonize me?”
He drops one of your hands to rest one on your face, letting his thumb stroke your cheekbone first and then your bottom lip. You look up at him
“I don’t mean it like that, you know that baby.” He leans in to kiss you and you let him, “Can you just try and be a little more calm and unassertive around my friends, you know it bothers me when you act out like that.”
“I know,” you reply quietly, all fire in you extinguishing further with every press of his lips to yours.
“Thank you, baby. You know I love you, all of you. Even the scrappy, crazy, angry pogue parts of you,” he kisses you again.
You think his words are supposed to be a compliment, but they just sit around in your gut causing you discomfort.
No one likes a mad woman
You made her like that
And you'll poke that bear 'til her claws come out
And you find something to wrap your noose around
“You’re cheating on me aren’t you?” He yells, under the influence of several beers and at least one line of coke you imagine. You roll your eyes, attempting to push past him, not wanting to get into this again. Especially not in his inebriated state. He has other ideas though, spinning you around by grabbing your wrist before pushing your shoulders into the wall, caging you in between it and his warm body.
You struggle against him, “what the fuck Top get off of me!”. He only presses you into the wall further.
“Answer the fucking question, y/n. Are you cheating on me with one of your shitty little pogue friends?” He spits in your face, anger taking over his usually delicate features. As you look into his blue eyes, pupils dilated almost entirely, you realize you don’t recognize this Topper.
Topper has always been jealous and insecure, Sarah Cameron really did a number on him when she went and shacked up with John B behind his back. You had tried your best to reassure him at every turn that you weren’t Sarah and you would never do that to him, but that didn’t stop him from blowing up with jealousy over your friends. It probably related to the fact that you hung around Sarah and John B, or maybe your close friendship with Pope and JJ. Topper was jealous of how close you were with all of them, sometimes angrily calling you every five minutes when you were alone with any one of them.
“Of course not, what are you talking about?” You shout back, hands wrapping around your body defensively.
“I’m not fucking stupid, I know you’re doing something with one of them, so which is it? Heyward? Maybank? Or do you share Routledge with Sarah?”
You’re trying to placate him, but he just keeps poking and poking, “I’m not fucking any of them, God Topper what the fuck?”
“You’re just a stupid pogue whore,” he snarls at you, shoving you harshly against the wall once more before letting you go. You cry out, as your head smashes against the wall painfully, causing you to see stars.
“Fuck you Topper,” you seethe, pushing him back with all of your strength. The alcohol coursing through his veins causes him to stumble a bit more than he would have sober, allowing you to escape. “It’s fucking over!”
“Good, I never fucking loved you anyway,” he shouts back at you, “It was just a game, to try and fuck a pogue and make her fall in love with me.” You feel his words like a noose around your neck, pulling tightly and suffocating the breath right out of you.
You’re sobbing, unsure of how you managed to escape that house with Topper’s words chasing you the whole way. Every kiss, every word, every I love you passed through your mind. You gave him your virginity for fuck’s sake, you gave him every part of you and he had taken everything from you, thrown it in your face, insulting you and calling you a whore.
You know you can’t go home like this, so you head to the one place you know you’ll be able to find comfort, walking into the Chateau and directly into Kie’s arms.
Now I breathe flames each time I talk
My cannons all firin' at your yacht
They say "move on," but you know I won't
You’re angry now, the spell broken between you and Topper. Realizations of the months of gas lighting and emotional abuse crashing into your world view like the waves in tropical storm. You recognize that your months of excusing his behaviour based on what he went through in the past was just that – excusing his shitty behaviour. His prior relationships had nothing to do with you, and it wasn’t right of him to take it out on you.
You spend many nights ranting and raving to the pogues, who mercifully limit their ‘I-told-you-so’s under the threatening gaze of one Kiara Carrera.
“I can’t believe I was blind for so long, I let him treat me like shit and I pushed you guys away.” You’re laying on the bow of the HMS with Sarah and Kie beside you.
“It’s not your fault, y/n/n, believe me,” Sarah tells you, running a hand through your hair soothingly.
“I don’t condone cheating, but I almost understand why you did it,” you admit tearfully to Sarah, who only smiles at you.
Two weeks pass like this, before JJ interrupts your ranting telling you it’s time to move on and that any guy would be lucky to land the hottest chick on the island. The sentiment makes you smile, but you know you won’t be able to move on. Not just yet. Topper had your whole heart and had tossed it onto the concrete, shattering it into a million pieces.
The pogues decide the best cure for heart break is to throw a wild kegger and let you get drunk out of your mind to forget. JJ even gives you a joint, winking at you and telling you “hydroponic” before throwing finger guns at you and walking away. Things are going well, you’re three or four beers in, all cares thrown into the wind when your spine stiffens as you spot Topper.
You catch his eye from across the boneyard, your pulse painfully beating in your ears as your traitorous heart races at the sight of him. He’s got his arm around some pretty little kook who you’d only really seen at Figure 8 parties he had dragged you to. You think there’s a little guilt in his expression, maybe a little longing and regret too, but his arm remains firmly around the girl. She looks up at Topper, before following his gaze right to you. You see her tense, and then relax as you hear clear as day not to worry, that you’re just some crazy pogue.
You meet his eyes again, mouthing “Fuck you forever”, before leaning into Kie’s side as you walk back into the thick of the party, letting Topper tell the next girl you’re just a mad woman.
No one likes a mad woman
What a shame she went mad
You made her like that
obx tag list (ily guys!!): @danicarosaline @velyssaraptor @copper-boom
#obx#obx fanfiction#topper obx#topper x you#topper x reader#topper imagine#topper fanfiction#topper thornton x you#topper thornton x reader#topper thornton imagine#topper thornton faniction#diverdcwn writes#t swift folklore#songfic
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habits
(Or: Bakugou is a little shit and a dork. 1-A gets used to it.)
Read on: AO3 / Twitter
*
One lesser known truth about Bakugou Katsuki is that he's an unrepentant thief of snacks.
Class 1-A is blissfully unaware of this habit all the way up to their move to Heights Alliance. There, they not only share living space, but every meal of the day as well — a status quo that revealed many a peculiar fun fact about most classmates, really.
Bakugou's first victim by sheer proximity is Kirishima. They're hanging out outside after a weekend session at the gym, drinking their electrolytes and talking about the pros and cons of different brands of protein bars. Well, Kirishima is, at least.
Bakugou is huffing, saying, "It's all bullshit", as he gives the one Kirishima is currently eating the side-eye. "The food industry is one big scam, really. Learn to cook your own stuff and you won't need processed anything."
"Okay", goes Kirishima, long used to debating him on anything from hero rankings to the weather. "But consider this: I burn anything I cook. Anything, dude."
"That's factually impossible."
"...I burned water trying to make ramen once?"
"Shitty Hair. Water doesn’t— How the fuck?“
Kirishima laughs, waving the half-eaten protein bar around. "I don't know, but there was smoke, I swear! I set off the fire alarm and everything, my moms were so done. Life-long kitchen ban in my own home, that's me."
Bakugou groans a disgusted eugh sound. "Fucking understandable."
When it only makes Kirishima smile all the wider, Bakugou pushes at his shoulder, a shove too rough to count as affectionate by anyone's standards but Bakugou's.
"Fine. Normal people shouldn't eat protein bars. You shouldn't either, but you'd starve without 'em, apparently."
"Or, you could, y’know, cook for m—"
Another shove, enough to push a still-laughing Kirishima over. "Keep trying, dickhead. Pshh, cooking for you. In your dreams, maybe."
Kirishima hums and says nothing, his idle sip of sports drink interrupted by Bakugou pulling him to his feet.
"Who cares, c'mon. Don't think for a second I forgot about Thirteen's assignment."
A sputtering gasp from Kirishima. "Thirteen gave us an assignment?!“
"...Kirishima."
"Wait, no, listen. Why do physics have to, like, exist?", is Kirishima's brilliant argument. Nailed it.
Bakugou just stares. Then he snorts, "Fucking hell", shakes his head. "Whatever, I'm gonna make lunch and you're gonna do your damn homework. Maybe I'll let you have some. There's a faint chance. Very faint."
"Bro", Kirishima looks at him in wonder. "What about this, though?“
The glance Bakugou gives Kirishima's protein bar is downright offended if a little confused, too. "What about it?"
"Yeah, you're right. I'll just throw it awa—"
Bakugou moves so fast, all Kirishima sees is a blond blur.
Suddenly, the hand holding the snack is empty and Bakugou is chewing, having snatched the thing up with his teeth and devoured it like a beast from myths and legends.
"Problem solved, we're going. Huh, these don't even taste that shitty.“
Kirishima is too stunned to resist.
The Bakusquad is next in line when it comes to Bakugou's food-related crimes. Specifically, the croissant Kaminari is enthusiastically gesturing with to emphasize the point that yes, sneaking off campus for one (1) French pastry was definitely worth risking Aizawa's wrath over.
"It's perfectly baked. Look at its impeccable shape", Kaminari holds it up to his circle of friends like its his first-born child, "and the crust! It's so fluffy. I've been craving one all freaking week. This is gonna be so—"
Chomp.
Before Kirishima can even attempt to stop the tragedy waiting to happen, Bakugou has wandered back from his room, a stack of books under one arm and Kaminari's prized croissant in his mouth. The books are slammed on the table.
"Less talking, more studying", Bakugou snarks, somehow without getting crumbs of the stolen treat on anything. "Where'd ya get this from, anyway? S'good."
Kaminari’s jaw is on the floor, shell-shocked. "My… My croissant..."
"Sorry, bro", Kirishima sighs and pats his back. "He's just too damn quick."
The words are said with a look towards Bakugou, the that-wasn't-nice-man kind. Bakugou wrinkles his nose at him. (The very next day, an identical croissant shows up on Kaminari's plate during lunch break.)
Weeks fly by. By then, most of 1-A has been caught unawares by Bakugou's sneaky ways exactly once. They're training to be Heroes, after all — there's no way he'd get the drop on them again, at least not as easily.
Bakugou seems to be aware of this.
It doesn't stop him from snatching away Tokoyami's apple during movie night, smirking at both him and Dark Shadow with near-obnoxious levels of smugness. Tokoyami stares him dead in the eye while he grabs another one, one feathery brow raised in challenge.
Aoyama's handpicked brie is next, the guy's offended swearing almost as colorful as Bakugou's on his worst days. Bakugou outright cackles at that, obviously delighted by the prospect of someone else being subjected to Iida's no-cursing lecture for once, foreign language or no.
Speaking of Iida: It's his unopened cup of chocolate pudding Bakugou is eyeing like a cat does an especially oblivious mouse.
"Dooon't", Kirishima warns, hand hardened and ready to make a grab if needed. "I swear to Crimson Riot. Let the poor man have his pudding, or else."
"What has Iida even done to you, bro?", adds Kaminari, sliding his food tray into his usual spot across from them. "Like, I get it, I've pranked you enough times to owe you twenty croissants. And you're carrying Kirishima's entire academic career, so targeting him is valid, too."
"Hey! ...That's fair, actually. Carry on."
Kaminari winks at him. It's not like it's any different for him. "Iida, however, is wholesome, and—"
"Guys, you're making a great point and all that“, Ashido contributes over her bowl of natto. "But he's already gone."
Kirishima's head whips around. Indeed: No Bakugou. "No!"
"How is he this stealthy?!" Kaminari whines. "Bakugou, of all people!"
A few tables over, Iida is currently mid-story and too wrapped up in telling his audience of Momo, Todoroki, Uraraka and Midoriya about his adventures of googling what Aoyama had yelled out in sparkly rage the day before to notice a certain someone approaching.
Bakugou smiles, certain of his victory. Pretending to walk past them, he takes one hand out of his pockets and reaches out—
Only for his arm to be slammed to the table with a loud bang, mere inches from the desired snack.
"Kacchan", Midoriya pipes up casually, eyes still on Iida who — like everyone else at the table — jumped half a foot in the air from the sudden movement. "That's not yours."
Every member of 1-A is blatantly watching as Bakugou, food thief extraordinaire, is stopped in his tracks for the first time since his reign of terror began.
A collective breath is held. Surely, this will lead straight into a showdown of epic proportions in the middle of U.A.'s cafeteria. After all, any interaction between Midoriya and Bakugou tends to end in a shouting match, chaos or even bloodshed. And Bakugou does look intense, glowering at Midoriya as the muscles in his pinned arm bunch up and his palm starts to glow.
Then, he goes tch and rolls his eyes, grumbling: "Let go, Shitty Nerd. Figures you'd be the only one paying fucking attention."
Midoriya smiles and does as asked, pushing his own pudding cup closer to Bakugou right away. A blatant offer that's equally as blatantly ignored, as expected.
The actual food was never the point, after all.
Bakugou huffs off, lips upturned in somewhat of a smile of his own. Not that he'd ever admit to it as he rejoins his own friends, snapping at them to close their mouths and finish their lunch already.
Read on: AO3 / Twitter
#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#BNHA#MHA#bakugou katsuki#BNHA fanfiction#my stuff#bakugou is a weirdo who doesn't know how to socialize pass it on
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