#shit potatoe says | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

oobbbear · 6 months

Text

Please understand that when I say I grab you, I don’t mean grabbing your face or arm thats rude and creepy please don’t do that to anyone

When I say I grab you I’m saying it like I’m grabbing you like a potato. It’s my way of saying hey I appreciate and respect you let’s be friends

#bearz rambling tag #shit post #but no seriously #I really do mean potato when I say I grab you #I say grabbing ppl a lot #I don’t want ppl to misunderstand my intention #you’re a precious potato to me #I’m grabbing you as a sign of respect

10K notes · View notes

danandfuckingjonlmao · 2 months

Text

me, waking up drenched in sweat, violently sitting up in bed and letting out a gasp: IT'S A METAPHOR FOR BEING A YOUTUBER

idk if someone already thought of this and this is also probably the most obvious reading of it but here i go anyway: i was just walking a dog and listening to potato prints and when phil said "you've come a long way daniel" i was like "huh phil is in the teaching position in all of these just like he was for youtube" like phil just gives editing pro tips the whole time and it all parallels their story as a youtube duo.

and obviously the entertainment industry is rife (not proper usage of that word but it Feels Right so fuck you) with satanic symbolism/imagery/iconography/motifs. being an entertainer is "selling your soul to the devil" etc etc and we know dan hates being a youtuber and does feel that way. you gotta upload twice a day every day in order to be the number one art channel on youtube dot com after all. you gotta make those crafts for satan. bo burnham has a ton of lyrics/songs that i'm thinking about rn like "you used to do comedy when you felt like being funny but now you're contractually obligated so dance you fucking monkeeeey DANCE MONKEY DAAAANCE" and in "repeat stuff" which is a commentary of how mainstream pop love songs and pop stars have to be really superficial and unoriginal because they need to appeal to everyone and at one point he sucks satan off lmao and is like AHFRUEHQFWIIO I AM A VESSEL IDUSHISKA 666 KAJSDFI ILLUMINATI UIGDFSAHIO FREEMASONS. highly recommend looking at the lyrics to that song if you're into that kind of thing.

also the (very rightful) dig at phannies for the "don't cry craft" spamming like "we love all of our crafty audience that spread the message of this channel on all the other videos on the internet! everywhere! everybody enjoyed that!" is how creators who want to keep status have to address their audiences no matter how annoying or harmful they're being. thinking of the ajr line "stay out of politics, stay on the fence / stay out of all of it to keep half your fans" because like,, yeah if a creator ever expresses an opinion that declares their feelings on one side of an issue then they will lose support (smosh is a perfect example of a bunch of people never ever ever expressing an opinion if it could be considered controversial among their audience, like refusing to address the genocide happening right now and just taking their zionist member who the fans are mad at out of some videos to be like "shhhhh nothing to see here we don't know what you're talking about"), ESPECIALLY if that issue is the behaviour of their audience.

obviously the first dapc video was not made with any intended meaning, they just woke up and were like "let's be weird and freak people out" and they did that, and then adding in symbolism and making it all mean something developed with time. but i'm gonna pretend that it has always had consistent meaning because i'm neurodivergent and love overanalysing silly little media.

i am so jhfbvdahfkiufadkhlj right now so if anyone has more theories or things to add lmk and thank you for coming to my ted talk

#me saying shit #dnp #dan and phil #phan #dan howell #daniel howell #amazingphil #phil lester #danisnotonfire #yeet my deet #yeet my deenp #danandphilcrafts #squareflakes #glitterfaces #potato prints #slime

230 notes · View notes

nightmareonpeachstreet · 1 month

Text

Sorry excuse me mr. Arlecchino u did what??

Somewhere in Hoyo HQ there is a secret 23 minute long cutscene they made of Arlecchino and Furina making out and then Arlecchino gets down on one knee and proposes I am 100% convinced of this

The developers know, they ship it and they have beeN READING THE FUCKIN FANFICTIONS

#THE WAY THEY FUCKIN CONFIRMED WHAT EVERY ARLEFURI MAKEUP FIC HAS BEEN SAYING FOR MONTHS #Gay Impact is so real u guys. u can’t make this shit up #hey sorry if it looks like I recorded this on a potato. I took this screenshot on my tablet #Arlefuri #Arlecchino #Furina #Genshin Impact //

127 notes · View notes

nerevar-quote-and-star · 7 months

Text

No wonder everyone in Blackreach is evil, they have no access to potatoes!

Marcurio, probably

#any potatoes in blackreach are old and full of mold #they do not spark joy #blackreach #marcurio #elder knowledge #discerning the transmundane #nerevar queue and star #incorrect quotes #incorrect elder scrolls #incorrect skyrim quotes #tes #the elder scrolls #skyrim #the elder scrolls v: skyrim #source: shit my players say

93 notes · View notes

dumblr · 2 years

Text

Get you someone who calls you beautiful even though you look like a potato.

#quotes #love #potato #beautiful #wise sayings #wise words #wise quotes #emotions #real love #real shit #true love #jokes #meme #feelings #dumblr

811 notes · View notes

i-like-rocks22 · 9 months

Text

Dear non-UK fic writers; you're all wonderful and I love you, but if you ever want a native Brit to give your Harry Potter or GO fanfic (or hell, any fic with someone from the UK in) a read for Britishisms I am 100% happy to help.

It's just that I recently read a fic where someone said that bangers and mash is a breakfast food and I want to HELP.

#this is absolutely nothing to do with writing quality #you all write a million times better than me #this is literally just an offer to fill you in on the weird shit we say #come one come all let me tell you of banter and cheeky nandos and the dogs bollocks #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #fanfic #good omens #GO #fyi bangers and mash is sausages and mashed potato and is eaten solely as a dinner meal #unless you're a uni student who's lost control of their life #ao3 #fanfiction #dramione #drarry #ineffable husbands #ineffable idiots #ao3 stuff

73 notes · View notes

todayisafridaynight · 6 months

Text

i cant explain it but daigo being subtitled to just be like 'you're making me look like i have no balls' feels so illegal and wrong. hilarious but something's off

#snap chats #WAIT I HAVE TO INTERRUPT THIS POST WITH THE FUNNIEST SHIT #SO I WAS GETTING FOOD FROM MY SCHOOL'S DINING HALL AND YOU CAN WRITE DOWN WHAT YOU WANT ON A SHEET YEAH #AND I SAID I WANTED A SAMMY AND FRIES OK BUT WHEN I GET MY PLATE ITS JUST FRIES #AND YK W/E OK I'LL JUST EAT THAT BUT THEN. WHILE IM LIKE. GETTING PIZZA TO SUB IT YEAH #I HEAR THE COOKS BE LIKE 'yoo why do we just have a sandwich here' AND THE BIN IT #AND I WAS LIKE 'was that a chicken sandwich cause uhhh <:)' AND THE WOMAN WAS JUST ':OOO IM SO SORRY'#LIKE DAWG /IM/ SRRY I FEEL BADLKAJLJ but yeah. they were nice enough to make me another one 😭#ok. back on topic with this fuckin post SORRY. i just have all these potatoes and a pizza to eat with this sadnwich now #i didnt eat breakfast or lunch so its ok. moving on #watch me explain it lol. i think its just cause its hard fr me to imagine daigo even saying balls like that. in jp or english #like he just doesnt have the Oomph to do it like the kansai bitches #see this how i know jo from kansai.... that easy as balls to imagine...#LIKEIM TELLING YOU THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO CAN SAY BALLS AND MEAN IT ARE KANSAI/EAST COAST BITCHES #in regards to eng its the accent... you just put a heavy mphasis on the b yk... any east coast bitches know what im talkin bout #or am i insane.it could be both idk #its cause in context he looks so meek like no !!!!! you dont be shy about balls talk !!!!!!!#I JUST IMAGINE HIM SAYING IT SO POLITE LIKE NO !!!! YOU HAVE TO SAY IT WITH FEELING. WITH YOUR BALLS #anyway daigo bb ily and i care for you but youre not hard enough to say balls #which is the most insaane thing i could say considering Daigo And His History but yk... im right...

32 notes · View notes

a-m-e-t-h-y-s-t-r-o-s-e · 1 month

Text

You hate Ben Shapiro for political reasons. I hate him because he thinks Michael Jackson is a pedophile. We are not the same.

#michael jackson #I don't know enough of the gremlin's political beliefs to say any in this post confidently #sj shit #personal potatoes

10 notes · View notes

unmellowyellowfellow · 8 months

Text

hey tumblr. i cant believe i'm asking this but...is there any good alternative to potatoes?

i'm allergic to potatoes (not sweet potatoes. just the other ones). and i want to eat them so bad, but no can do. DOES ANYBODY OUT THERE HAVE ANYTHING THAT COMES CLOSE PLEASE

#zoey says shit #home cooking #potato soup #potatoes #baked potato #potato allergy #help #cooking tumblr #cookblr #cookblr community #writing community #writeblr intro #food allergy #food tips #recipes #food replacement #foodporn

33 notes · View notes

conlaluce · 19 days

Text

takagi, seeing conan crouched next to the body after the case is already wrapped up: umm. whatcha got there?

conan, secretly a ghoul, slowly putting down the kidney behind him that he was about to pop into his mouth: ......a smoothie?

#true colors shine in darkness #dcmk #detective conan #tokyo ghoul #crossover #conan is a half ghoul :)#he can eat human food but nutrition wise its like eating potato chips #and it makes him sick if hes starved of human flesh #his entire diet of human flesh comes from sneaking nibbles of the bodies that kwep dropping around him #its okay as long as he doesnt touch it until the case is over lol #some of division one has figured it out but theyre not saying shit.

9 notes · View notes

thecursedquoteshop · 10 months

Photo

(via "Potatoes are Versatile Little Fruits" Sticker for Sale by Cursed-Quotes)

A quote from my dad, because he legitimately says the most ridiculous things... including - Potatoes are versatile little fruits

40 notes · View notes

heytheredeann · 1 year

Text

Modern Napollya AU in which they work different jobs and Illya’s coworkers are convinced that his boyfriend is a short guy from Texas. It’s kinda Illya’s fault:

he refers to him as “Cowboy” like 95% of the time. people think it’s cute and a little bit weird.

he has a tiny cowboy with a bouncy head that he keeps at his desk, the only explanation being “it’s tiny cowboy. like Solo.”

he lords those five inches of height difference over him, as he should, so he has made the occasional reference to him being tiny, like talking about how Solo couldn’t reach something on the top shelf, Illya got it for him, and he got all annoyed, claiming that he “could get it himself, fuck you”. Illya is very pleased with himself for being annoying.

once he arrives late for work and says it’s because his boyfriend was asleep in his lap (he’s a big lapcat, and if a cat falls asleep on you you are legally required to never move again). This is further fuel for the “short boyfriend” theory.

And then one day Napoleon shows up at some work party or something and Illya’s coworkers are shocked to learn that he is a 6 feet tall New Yorker in a three-piece suit.

#illya picking up 6 feet of new yorker like he's a sack of potatoes: is this tiny cowboy?#napollya #napoleon x illya #illya x napoleon #the man from uncle #tmfu #not spn #ely has shit to say #they don't need queue

142 notes · View notes

ereborne · 5 months

Text

Song of the Day: January 17

"Stage Fright" by The Band

#song of the day #today's song courtesy of Duncan who played it several times #today was I must say a pretty shit day. it was a bad day. I did not enjoy it at all. many small bad newses today and one large one #but the thing about bad days is that they end! and I am pulling the plug on this one early #gonna curl up real small in my nice warm bed and read Call of Duty fic and then I'm going to sleep #and I will deal with tomorrow's problems tomorrow!!#also coming to me tomorrow is a lovely delivery from the vegeble man. carrots and parsnips and 'a cabbage surely favored by the Lord'#I am excited to eat the godsblessed cabbage. I haven't made golubtsi in far too long #and after we eat all the golubtsi (it will not take long. I really love cabbage) I'm gonna make root vegetable fries #with the carrots and parsnips and with my sweet potatoes which I grew my own self! massive sweet potato harvest #and with the root fries we're gonna have a sort of mushroom and blue cheese stuffed meatloaf #(used to be I made separate burgers for us all but that takes a lot longer and the meatloaf I can put in the oven with the fries)#anyway tomorrow will be a better day! I will make it so! with the power of cabbage!!!!

5 notes · View notes

taralen · 9 months

Text

brain rot dump HAHA. beware. 6 AM

I can't even enjoy a video game without disassociating.

I want to laugh because it's so pathetic.

Cringe. Cringe. Cringe.

"You're completely unhinged." Sweetheart, I don't know what it's like to be HINGED!

I should be in a fancy suit, making my family proud, and here I am, burning in my seat, melting inside and out.

I'm good at answering the phone, so why the hell can't I get a job picking one up? LOL? Experience? Flush it down with that $18,000 toilet paper. I know how to switch one to him or her or any which way this or that WHERE is the operations manager I DON'T KNOW he doesn't want to speak to you.

If my boss knew I could sell $500 worth of goods better than the sales chick who can't even follow up on hours, then why the HELL did he put me in the back? ROTTING aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

GIVE THE NEW GUY SOMETHING TO DO???AHHHHHHHHHHHHA

Stop following me. Stop apologizing. I don't need you wringing your hands like that. This man took my JOB!

Promotion???????? ARE YOU SERIOUS with me right now?! .30 CENTS MORE than the new guy? What am I to you?! I fixed your goddamn shit I cleared your backlog of corporate CRAP for PALTRY pay and you replace me and "PROMOTE" ME! GIVE ME A BREAK!

But that was then.

I ask for nothing now, I swear. Give me a switchboard phone. I just want something to do. Talk me out of it. I'll sell your CC and shitty utensils please for the love of [[redacted]] take a chance on me

I don't want to think about her body in a garbage can. Why why why why why? Is it because I loved her? Is that why? I called her name, Iiiiiiiiii ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh she was already stiff. WHY! WHY!

I eat only 1-2 meals a day. I think I lost over twenty pounds. hahahahaha

IT'S GONNA BE A STRANGE TWIST OF FATE. TELLING ME THAT HEAVEN CAN WAIT!

You know sanity is like a stock chart? It goes up and down and up and down and up and down down down down

MY PSYCHIATRIST canceled THE APPOINTMENT? (CURRENT EVENT) WHY? HAHA does she think I'm not trying? Did she ever think SHE'S not trying?

I want a reason and excuse to wear a tie again.

AHHHH I would scream ahhhhahhh I CUT MY FINGER OPEN! I still feel the pain on scar running along my finger. I only cried from shame! I came to the office with blood running down my arm. I SAID "I think I need to go to the emergency room." HAHAHAHAHAH! I tried being economical! KIDS, please do not cut wild vegetables diagonally.

Hahaha God help me.

#musings #vent #manic vent #losing my mind #when you're a kid they say you're just want attention #when you're an adult they say you're a liability #“Is this a work-related injury?”#it's the same shit just one's aged like a potato in basement #ready to kill you the moment you open up the cellar door #laughing at me is laughing with me

8 notes · View notes

clickityweasel · 1 year

Photo

i can post this at last!!! since this session we’ve managed to connect via voice to the rest of the party split across hundreds of years (so the dm can stop running 4 individual sessions behind everyone’s backs) and also nerve has been living in an abandoned timefucked city eating tinned food and talking to himself, completely alone aside from the occasional check in with the others, for 54 days now <3

#planet raiders #when i say 'we' i mean nerve has had to figure out how to broadcast and receive messages across time #i have also been an asshole and done the sci fi pencil punched thru paper to illustrate a wormhole #no fewer than THREE TIMES now #if i have to comprehend fantasy wormhole physics i get to do the classic sci fi paper pencil thing. it's my RIGHT #(i say have to like this isnt the funnest shit ever)#anyway. going fully insane. joe idk how u do it.#fonley: ive been here a WHOLE DAY it's been MENTAL #nerve halfway thru month 2: damn that's crazy. anyway im considering farming potatoes like that one cornerian play the martian #praiders

15 notes · View notes

tru-daddy · 2 months

Text

womp womp now dante is half as good at his job and the people complaining about overguard messing with their abilities are still going to complain because they still have oveguard 😔

in conclusion:

#streets say his owls also got nerfed bc of some unintended status stacking so that too womp womp #overguard has me bummed bc i was enjoying just playing support it felt like brigitte overwatch giving ppl big armour #the LOS thing for tragedy is also goofy bc. *will smith meme* @ saryn. @ guass. and LOS in general in warframe is already a super jank so..#straight up not hitting things im looking directly at. feels like im playing against ghostface in dbd 💀#warframe #9 forma + potato down the drain time to use more shit to remove the archon shards from him and slap them back onto mesa. its high noon.#it didnt take too long to farm and i bought a booster for 400% affinity so it fr took 2 rounds of SO to level for the forma but RIP ppl #who bought him with plat lmfao i just wasted my time and however much plat the booster costed

6 notes · View notes