"You drew scars, around my scars"

🚨TRIGGER WARNING🚨

Please be mindful

Reminder this is mostly a self projection

Left: 16" AR-15, Sig Sauer Romeo5 w/ Juliette 3x optics, HUXWRX 5.56 XD Supressor, Magpul stock, Viking Tactical sling

Right: 20" AR-10 (.308), Sig Sauer Tango 10x optic, Magpul Tri-Pod, Luth-AR MBA-3 Adjustable Stock.

things discussed during therapy on a tuesday in april

Loving yourself means speaking kindly to yourself. Which is admittedly very hard if you had parents who didn’t.🤍

Fuck them. Be kind to yourself. Be gentle to yourself. Your inner child is waiting for you to love them. 🤍

Your inner child needs YOU to love them in the ways you wish other people would.🤍

Exposure to pepper spray.

If you use pepper spray, it is possible that you will be exposed to it to some degree. It is also possible that someone may use pepper spray on you. If you are exposed to pepper spray, here are the steps you should take:

Try to remain calm. Remember that the effects are temporary.

Remove yourself from the area if you were exposed to pepper spray in a dangerous situation such as a fight. Allow any friends or comrades to guide you to safety.

Once you are in a safe area where you may spend up to an hour recovering, flush the exposed area with cool, pure water.

Do not rub your eyes with your hands, especially as your hands may have pepper spray on them, and if you have been sprayed in the eyes, your vision will be impaired and you will not be able to check your hands.

To rinse your eyes, look to the sky and blink as you pour cool, pure water directly into your eyes.

DO NOT flush exposed areas with milk, vinegar, a baking soda solution, an antacid/Maalox solution, or other “home remedies.” These are NOT more effective than pure water, and some are potentially dangerous. Milk can introduce bacteria and baking soda solution can cause permanent damage to corneas, etc.

Continue to rinse with water as the effects gradually lessen. Take care as you rinse:  water can carry pepper spray onto other parts of the body.

Once you can move and speak without continuous water rinsing, move to an area where you have access to soap and running water. Your body can be decontaminated by washing with soap. Wash your body with soap and COOL water; hot water will increase irritation. There may be pepper spray in your hair that you can’t see, so wash it even if you don’t think it’s there.

Any orange color on part of your clothing may be pepper spray that needs to be washed off. Remove any clothing that has pepper spray on it to prevent recontamination. Place them either in a trash bag if you need to transport them before washing, or place them directly into a sink, bathtub, or washing machine (ideally separate from other clothes or laundry). They can be decontaminated by washing with soap or laundry detergent. 

I want to spread awareness about this. I got followed while solo travelling to a nearby town. But this dude was walking in front of me, trying to anticipate my moves. He passed me and went to the bus station, when I passed it he hurried up and walked in front of me again.

This is when I started feeling anxious I stopped and took my sweet time, moved my pepper spray in my coat and I realised that even if I go back I will pass the same point and it will only get later and less ppl. I walked and here he was waiting for me, i walked very fast and tricked him to pass the street. While he was going in the wrong direction i got to the train station and waited for my train. He even showed up at the train station anticipating that...luckily he didn't get on my train he waited at the door. I was thinking maybe he thought I went there for safety being there are always ppl at the train station cuz he waited at the door maybe thinking I will have to leave the station.

Just be aware of this and trust your instincts and intuition. Be aware of this new method of following.

Keep a part of yourself to yourself for yourself

Many people talk about masking less as they get older. While I do mask less frequently now than even a few years ago, the more significant change has been my reason for masking. It used to be about fitting in (which I rarely managed anyway) or at the very least, reducing the number of interactions my mind replayed during nighttime Cringe Hours (also very rarely managed). While those are still my reasons for masking on occasion, I find it’s more commonly about protecting something I value.

There are no other adults in my physical, day to day life who are like me. No obsessive fans, no imposter syndrome riddled aspiring novelists, no one who sings and dances in the supermarket. No one who screams alone to Spotify with the windows down driving around town, no one who speaks in memes, no one who can navigate social media beyond uploading photos of their kids to instagram. No one with desperately unfulfilled dreams they cling to and agonize over in the middle of the night. No one who jokes about horrible mental health or has had their life saved by a group of strangers talking about a television show. No one who has needed their life saved.

I’m not masking these days to make them think I’m like them. I’m masking because the person I am, most deeply and honestly, deserves to be protected and preserved, cherished and appreciated. They can’t afford the unmasked me, so I keep her on the top shelf now.

I am lonely—something I have sworn to them a million times I’m not. No one here is like me, and everyone who is exists in text messages and gifs in my little handheld light box. I am lonely. But at least I belong to me.

People who obsess about protecting yourself in the most moral way possible instead of the most effective way possible deserve to deal with the same dangers as those they chastise for not being on the moral high horse with them over personal safety.

If someone breaks into your home and has a weapon, actually, you SHOULD shoot them if they come near you. If someone is trying to wage psychological war on you and being a transphobic cunt you SHOULD be an asshole and yes that includes coming off as misogynist even if you are not if it guarantees to scare them off. If someone who knows you irl threatens to kill you you SHOULD threaten them back or worse.

I'm convinced most of these "upstanding moral crusaders" and sjws have never actually had to protect themselves. Also, consider that sometimes, even if it's not the only option, the more effective and efficient option is much better than doing things the correct way.

If your spouse is threatening you or your children? Well, the 'correct' way is to let the police or social services deal with it but unfortunately they are useless 9 times out of 10. You know what's actually effective though? Don't engage with that person, withdraw your money, teach your kids how to protect themselves if your spouse gets physical. Etc. The right way may be to try to talk it out or give your spouse the benefit of the doubt but considering it is not only YOUR safety but that of your children at stake it is not only morally fine but a moral imperative to be ruthless in protecting them and yourself.

What about if someone is raping you? You can't get your phone, there is no one around to help you. You know what you do have, though? A small pistol tucked in your shoe. It is not morally wrong to shoot the motherfucker.

But even that's a debate. But that's not even the problem I'm having now. The problem is that apparently, it's bad to be mean to people who are being malicious and psychologically violent. Not even to be violent with them but just to be an asshole. Morals do not apply when someone is a threat to you, straight up. You're allowed to act like you're sexist, or body shame, or whatever the fuck irl when someone you cannot just block or ignore is endangering you. No one is listening. Protecting yourself does not make you bad or mean that you are actually the things you present yourself as to scare off a threat. Just like pulling a gun on someone who is trying to assault you or is in your home potentially with weapon doesn't make you a 'violent person.' It makes you a person with the very normal and extremely important instinct to protect yourself. Saying something whatever 'ist' or 'phobic' to protect yourself from harm does not make you the kind of person that actually believes that, nor does it hurt anyone who isn't hurting you because irl you are not surrounded by endless eyes like on the internet.

Online, etiquette is different because your hurtful words against hateful people can hurt someone that isn't targeting you. And online, the most effective way to protect yourself is the moral one, blocking someone. If someone block evades, you have the ability to involve the site's security or at absolute worst law enforcement and get a restraining order for harassment. Real life is not like that. You cannot simply block people irl. Kill the idea that you must always be the picture of moral perfection when you are in any kind of danger, even if it is not immediate danger.

A dead man does not have the space to ruminate about the possibly immoral things he did. Don't be him.

Iphigenia (112) is a princess who was set to be sacrificed and there’s differing versions of the ending of this story…

Either Diana (78) or Artemis (105) switched the girl for something else and took the girl into safety themselves.