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jessequinones · 1 month

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Writing Advice: Slow burn vs. dragging it out (relationship edition)

I’m currently reading Dragonfire: Fallen Star and I need to get this off my chest, it’s about the difference between a slow burn and dragging something out, namely in the way of creating a relationship.

In the first book, Blaze meets Risha and it’s obvious she’s the love interest and that’s fine. She doesn’t have much of a personality besides being moral support for Blaze but it’s whatever. At the end of the book, the author does something differently and doesn’t pair them together despite it being obvious.

That caught my attention, if it didn’t happen in the first book after the final battle and Risha almost died, maybe Blaze would get with someone else in book two? No ... he doesn't. It takes until the end of book two for both of them to admit they love each other and Blaze is confused because he never had a concept of “love” and didn’t realise he was in “love” or that Risha loved him. (I know asexuality is a thing however I can’t comment if Blaze is asexual or aromantic because I’m not either of those things. As far as I’m aware, Blaze isn’t.)

So let’s talk about a slow burn vs. dragging out a relationship.

A slow-burn love story is kind of the focus of the story. Most of the time you see them in either slice-of-life stories, romance, or even erotic storytelling, but the main focus of the story is primarily the relationship between two or more characters. You know it’s gonna happen, everyone around them knows it’s gonna happen, and the build-up of their relationships feels natural, and if written well, you’re waiting for that “I love you, let’s kiss as a couple” moment just like how everyone else in the story is waiting for it.

Now that’s not to say a slow-burn relationship is only found in those stories, as it’s a common trope with a lot of storytelling. Two characters are in love but don’t have time to do anything about it until the story is over where they can relax and admit their feelings for one another. (Insert nearly any story here).

The point is, if it’s obvious, and we know it’s gonna happen if it doesn’t happen at the end where we thought it would...then it becomes a love story which feels like it’s dragging on.

Case in point, Dragonfire book one and two. While I was caught off guard about book one’s ending where Blaze didn’t get with Risha, book two started off with the most obvious “I’m in love but don’t realise it” kind of writing there is and it doesn’t stop until near the end. This relationship was already established and written in book one, why does it have to carry over to the next book? Mind you these books are over 400 pages long, I basically, read an 800-page romance where they don’t get together until page 800. That’s not a slow burn, that’s dragging it out.

Slow burn vs. dragging it out comes down to how the reader feels about said relationship. I’ll use myself as the main example because I like slow burns. I giggle when I see them because I think it’s cute when two people are in love, don’t realise it, and they blush every time they see each other. I’m a sucker for romance so I’d like to see my slow burns every once in a while.

Slow burn for romance, slice of life, and even erotica are kind of the point of their stories. Two characters are in love, they spend a lot of time together and in the end, they get together. So I don’t need to explain much about them because it’s kind of the whole point you read them some of the time.

Slow Burns for nearly every other story is written in a way where two characters are in love, they don’t know it, but as the story progresses, they think about each other, maybe even flirt a little, and they sacrifice their lives for each other. (Typical romance in more adventure pack stories.) At the end of the final climax of the story (normally after a love interests nearly die) and the world is saved, they kiss at the end and everyone cheers. While the romance isn’t the main point of the story, it’s still a very obvious way to write one and a lot of readers expect something at the end after it was built up from the beginning. Even if the relationship isn’t written well, some readers might give it a pass if they know what’s gonna happen at the end.

Now what about a slow burn for multiple stories? At what point does it drag?

Slow burns for multiple stories can work, but you need to change the relationship a little. First of all, having the main character “not realise” they're in love isn’t a good way to avoid putting them together unless said character is aromantic or asexual. (Like I said, I’m not either of them and have no idea how to write a character who's like that, so if that’s what you’re going for I suggest asking other writers who are either of those things.)

The relationship needs to grow and others need to comment about it. The characters could be unsure if the other will like them or they could both be aware they like each other but have neither want to make it official because what if it causes their friendship to break? Just do something which indicates they’re trying, but have a good reason not to make it official.

Sometimes you can make fake love triangles. (Fake love triangles are love triangles which are put in place to further the relationship between two characters). Fake love triangles normally don’t last long, but last just enough for the slow burn to do its magic. Which is mostly by making one of the love interests either jealous or sad because they “missed their moment” even though the character they're crushing on is very obviously not gonna stick with their current partner.

Real-life relationships don’t just happen overnight, sometimes they can take years so there’s nothing wrong if you want to write a slow-burn relationship, the problem comes from the audience's patience and this is something which will vary from person.

From my own experience and how I feel when reading these types of relationships. If it was obvious, that they were supposed to get together at the end of one book but didn’t, that could either surprise me as I might've felt I read the entire relationship wrong or get annoyed because we’re doing this entire song and dance all over again in book two.

While I can’t give an example for every time I felt like this while reading stories, I’ll try to explain why I felt like some relationships were dragging on because as I stated before, this ultimately comes down to audience patience.

Enough time has passed: Most of the time between books one and two, there’s a time jump. Book one of Dragonfire and book two have a four-season time jump (so most likely a year) during this entire year, neither Blaze nor Risha get together? What were they doing this entire time?

I don’t know about other readers but I’d like to imagine what characters do when the story is over and if there’s a seconded book with a time jump, I'd try to imagine what they were doing in said time jump. Both of these characters were crushing on each other for the entirety of book one and yet neither made a move during the gap? Why? It also doesn’t explain why they never tried to make a move on each other during the gap in book two as well.

If you want to create a slow burn for several stories and you know there’s gonna be a time jump in between some of the stories, you need to explain why your characters, who now have some time to relax, don’t get together. Sometimes it can be as simple as “we already tried and it didn’t work out”, it happens. Sometimes people need to try a relationship a few times before getting it right. If this is the case, it’s more believable that while they still like each other, they don’t want to try again because what if it doesn’t work out a second time? What if they get into a fight and ruin their friendship?

You can also have one of the characters already in another relationship with someone else. This is leaning more on the love triangle side of things instead of creating a fake one, but how this one works is that one of the characters took a bit too long to say “I love you” so, the other character moved on during the time jump and now the character which took a bit too long to say “I love you” is upset about their actions. The reason why I say this isn’t really a fake love triangle trope is because if this love triangle is established at the beginning of the second book, then it’s gonna play a more prominent role throughout the story.

Maybe you could create a Romeo and Juliet kind of slow burn where the main characters know they love each other but they can’t make it official because of reasons. While this is on the line of creating an established relationship, there’s a difference between them kissing in secret compared to kissing in public and it’s the public kiss the readers are waiting for. You can also do this same exact love story but have it where one of the characters keeps refusing to progress because if others find out, then a war will break out or something.

The point is, that you need to acknowledge why they haven’t gotten together instead of the “I didn’t know I was in love” trope.

Another reason why I feel a slow burn turns into a dragging-on love story is when there are no other options. I know we all hate love triangles but they do serve a purpose. If two characters love each other, and there’s no other character that ever gets brought up as a potential love triangle then I ask, why haven’t they just tied the knot if neither of them have any options?

It should’ve happened already: This one is an easy explanation. If a reader feels like the relationship should’ve already been confirmed and it’s not...that feels like the relationship is dragging on. This kind of feeling will vary from reader to reader so if this is what someone says, it’s best to ask them to clarify.

The writer put too much emphasis on the relationship: If you want a relationship to take place over several stories, or even just one, but you want it to be a slow burn, while not creating a romance, slice of life, etc. If you bring up the fact two characters are in love over and over, to the point it feels like the relationship is getting more attention than the actual story, readers might want those characters to tie the knot just so the story can move forward.

Every single one of these examples is based on a reader's feelings about the relationship you're creating so it changes for everyone and everyone will have a different spot in your story they can tell you where it felt like the relationship is dragging on. For me, it was in chapter two of book two, I already felt like it was dragging on as soon as I realised this was gonna be the same thing as in book one.

Beta readers are your friend and if you’re gonna have this come across in multiple stories, then make sure to find beta readers who’ve read each story and ask them how the relationship felt for them. If someone tells you it feels like it’s dragging a bit. You don’t have to change the relationship entirely, but make sure you get multiple opinions because each reader will view your relationship differently.

Despite love being a very common experience everyone has felt, it’s also one of the most difficult ones to write. Just make sure to get different opinions and see what the majority of your readers feel like.

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sullustangin · 3 months

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Fluffy February Day 6: Fire

SWTOR

Rating: PG, max, just Theron being a tiny bit mean to Koth and Lana (they're all friends here)

Pairing: Theron Shan/Eva Corolastor; Lana Beniko/Koth Vortena

Time: 3617 BBY/36 ATC

For someone who liked rain a lot, some of Eva’s best memories centered around fires. Not the ones that were on the ship. The ones that were in gatherings and celebrations.

The one on Ord Mantell where they burned her bed after getting her ship (and Torchy) back from Skavak, freeing Bowie, and capturing the Crown of Dubrillion for Risha.

The one on Makeb, when they’d figured out the game and put a bet on Imperial greed and had a great party with the Ash Angel’s crew and two rival engineering corps.

The ones on Yavin 4, during the Galactic New Year Party and the last party – not as unregulated or as reckless as the others, but there were good memories as fireworks went off over the heads of Eva and Theron, drinks poured down gullets, and the buzz resulted in wonderfully sloppy kisses and unrestrained affection.

The one on Odessen, when the war itself was over and Eva was free and yet not. They were alive and alone and the warmth of the fire was only matched by Theron’s body heat.

The one again on Odessen when the gilded cage was shattered and Eva flew free of the hated title ‘Commander’ and ‘Voidhound,’ burning every vestige of those personages (but not the red silk robe Theron had given her).

…how could teaching two kids to roast marshmallows over a fire without killing themselves compare?

But it did.

“Now, you just leave that right alone til it gets nice and melty – little black is fine, but you’re aimin’ for an even cook.” Corso, along with shooting lessons, was a fine instructor in the art. Solemnly, Argo nodded and carefully rotated the stitck.

“Carmelization of the sugar,” Bowdaar clarified, as one clawed hand reached out to adjust the littlest Little Girl’s angle, so it wasn’t dipping down so far into the blue-hot core of the fire. “I think it’s done –”

And without warning, Dyo swung the incandescently hot ball of sugar right at Guss.

Fortunately, Guss had prepared for this. Sure, Risha had made a snide remark at the potholders, welding mask, and weaponsmithing apron he’d borrowed from Akaavi. She’d been shut up by the comment, “Oh, so you’re volunteering to help the feisty one put the marshmallow on the cracker?”

Guss clapped the sandwich, with a few chunks of chocolate, together, then extended the finished treat to Bowdaar, who delicately held it between two claws, high over his head.

That didn’t stop Dyo from trying to climb Bowie to get at it, but it certainly slowed her down from burning her mouth off.

Argo, as usual, was a little more placid than his sister. He carefully turned his stick toward Akaavi, who was brave enough to make his s’more for him. She easily put it on the flat side of a canteen to cool off.

Eva felt Theron’s arms tighten around her as they sat and watched in the cold autumn night on Odessen. All Souls was approaching, and Eva would have to make her rounds for her parents…

And it had been fifteen years since Eva’s release from carbonite. Tonight was cold, but Eva’s world – her life was so wonderfully warm. Not least because of the living radiator that was Theron Shan – his heart and his love that kept it all going.

And the crew and their love, which also transcended five years lost.

Just then, Risha nudged Eva’s free side with a thermos. “Hot apple cider, grown-up version.” Translation: shot of vanilla vodka included.

She crouched down between Argo and Dyo and carefully measured out equal little cupfuls in the metal camping cups. “Kid edition: just warm enough not to burn your mouth on this.”

“Thank you, Aunt Risha,” piped up Dyo, and Eva could see Risha visibly melt at the sound of that little voice. Especially when Dyo leaned into her auntie.

“Got more firewood.” Koth and Lana emerged from the general direction of the base’s woodpile. Camping grounds had long been demarcated for rec time, almost immediately upon arrival of the camping supplies fifteen years before as well.

Theron used his free arm to check his chrono. “That wasn’t long – pretty efficient, Koth.”

That had been long for just collecting firewood but given that Lana was around –

“Hey.” That was all Koth said to Theron in front of the kids, and Lana wore an appropriate shade of pink on her cheeks, not just from the cold.

Eva loved fires. Outside of her ship.

#fluffy february #swtor fan fiction #theron shan #theron shan x smuggler #oc: eva corolastor #lana beniko #koth vortena #lana beniko/koth vortena #smuggler crew #oc: argento shan #oc: dyominia shan

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captainderyn · 10 months

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[ CHIN ]: as they stand close to one another, the sender hooks a finger and tenderly lifts the receiver’s chin, tilting it up so that they can look at one another, and running a thumb across their skin lightly.

Oof totally didn't mean to have this sitting in my ask box for so long but, I'm finally feeling back into the groove enough to write! For Emeldir and Risha no less :) (EDIT TO ADD: That note was from months ago lol. 6/24/2023 Deryn says: Sorry this took so damn long, enjoy these two being idiots!)

Set sometime in the grey area of their relationship, when Risha isn't ready to admit she has feelings, and Emeldir is feeling so many things way to much all at once.

(Important to note, Em's flirting is nothing like in-game)

If Emeldir kept stuffing his foot in his mouth whenever he talked to Risha he was never going to get the taste of rubber out of it.

He didn't know where he kept going wrong. She was mad about his optimism, mad about how he flew his ship, mad at his idealistic need to help those who were struggling and to top it off downright angry at every offer he made to help her.

Frankly, Risha seemed irritated at his very existence.

It should have turned him away, sent him running into the arms of someone else.

It didn't. Not even close.

There was nothing thrill-of-the-game in the way his want for her gnawed at his mind.

She wasn't some challenge to be conquered, some wild spirit to be tamed.

It was as simple as an insistent tug, pulling him towards her, like they were meant to walk on the same path. It was inexplicable, confusing, and something he continually side stepped.

He doubted he could voice any of this without sending her running for the hills. He wouldn't voice any of this, wouldn't dare, when he was certain that she hated his guts.

So he kept his roiling, confusing emotions to himself. Tucked them away for later, tried and failed to focus his attention elsewhere.

Even if time and missions spent together seemed to ease Risha's iciness towards him, he didn't know that it would ever melt.

When they found themselves alone in the airlock, shrugging off their jackets that smelled of sweat and smoke, he wasn't sure exactly what he was in for. Her expression was unreadable, her silence hanging thick in the air as she tugged her rifle over her head and leaned it against the wall.

He looked to the side as she moved to stand in front of him, unable to meet the look on her face. They were so close that if one of them so much as shifted their bodies would brush together. He could feel the rustle of her duster jacket fluttering against him with the air from the vents.

"You need a haircut." Her words were...

"What?" Emeldir blinked, brain short circuiting entirely as her slender fingers were suddenly in his hair, giving it a ruffle.

The eye roll she must have given was apparent in her voice, "Your hair. It's a mess."

Sure, it'd grown out a bit, floppy and tousled and rather untamed since the last time they'd been able to stop off somewhere to find a decent barber. He'd hardly call it a mess, he still maintained it diligently as ever and--

And her hand slid town his face, halting at his jaw. Her fingers brushed lightly across the bit of scruff that had grown in, barely more than a shadow. He let the pressure of her hand tilt his head this way, then that, too stunned to do anything else.

He was pretty sure his heart was going to burst out of his chest. Or his face was going to melt away for how hot his skin was burning.

"Trying to look the part?"

Her well meaning jabs and her ill intentioned jabs were so difficult to tell apart that it took him a moment to grasp the humor in her voice.

He dared a glance up at her. She raised her eyebrows at him.

"Think I'm going to bite? Cat got your tongue, captain?"

Emeldir opened his mouth, struggling to both find his voice and get enough parts of his brain to fire to form words. "I..."

What did she want from him, exactly? If he said all the things on his mind she'd certainly climb right back over any of the walls she'd let down.

But the way she was looking at him, stars, he still wasn't thinking when he said, "I want to kiss you."

The perfectly maintained crescents of Risha's nails raked across his skin as she went to jerk away, only to freeze before she actually did. Her eyes widened, a storm brewing in them, and it was then that Emeldir processed what he'd said.

"I'm so sorry," he fumbled, making to step backwards only for his heel to hit the wall, "That was not meant to leave my mouth. I'm not saying that you have to...wait no that sounds bad. Scratch that I'm--"

His cheeks burned, he wanted to throw himself out the airlock. Plunge into the engines. Crawl under his bed and die. All of the above.

Risha smushed a finger against his lips, "Stop talking."

She narrowed her eyes at him, eyes sliding from his down to his lips. Her finger caressed across them lightly, sending goosebumps popping up across his skin.

This was it. This was the end for him.

"You don't have to." he stammered out again, against her demand, painfully aware of the multitude of reasons what he said was absolutely stupid, the least of which being the fact that, "I know you hate me."

His fingers grazed down his chin, light as a feather before seizing tight. He was almost certain was going to pass out when he felt her breath brush against his lips, hers a hairsbreadth away,

"Captain," There was a warning to her voice that killed any protest building in his chest again. Then she tilted her head, looking up at him from beneath her lashes.

Absurdly, he realized the sweat and heat had smudged some of her mascara onto her upper and lower lids.

"What if I want to?"

Her words barely registered in his frazzled mind, his reply even less so, "Then do it."

All logical thought zipped from his mind as she pressed up onto her toes, slanting her mouth against his. His back hit the wall of the airlock as he steadied himself, hands uselessly fluttering at his sides.

It was everything, it was confusing, it was heat zipping across his skin as his nerves alit and it his mind going entirely blank.

Risha's lips were soft, the gloss she wore everyday sweet.

The kiss was brief, too brief, and in a daze he leaned after her before reality snapped back into place and his eyes shot open.

Risha had already retreated, seizing up her rifle. He didn't miss the flush staining her cheeks a brilliant red.

She cleared her throat, eyes darting him up and down before away,

"Get a haircut next time we're on planet. And buy a razor to shave."

Those were her parting words as she exited the airlock, leaving Emeldir dumbfounded and clueless as ever.

What in the blighted stars was he going to do?

#captainderyn writes #kiss prompts #swtor #swtor fanfic #risha drayen #smuggler/risha drayen #swtor smuggler #oc: Emeldir #otp: the stars guided me to you #going through my drafts with the wild inclination to finish some that I haven't yet #sorry this took so damn long grey lol but we got there in the end #i really do love them and their confusing to start out with relationship

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everthewip · 7 months

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Prompt number: 4. "Do you even know what this means?"

Original fiction: Risha & Nimue

Rating: T (could be G but idk)

Warnings: No real warnings, i don't think, just an embarrassed orc lesbian and elf boobs (it's not nsfw tho)

Other notes: Continuation of THIS (also not edited, not revised, when this event is over I'll go back and make all of this better)

They kept her in a locked room near the back of the temple, far from any exits or curious eyes. High Priest Baylen drew a key from his pocket and slid into into the lock, allowing himself and those with him entry without the courtesy of a knock. The door opened into a small room, bare of windows, and with but humble bed and wardrobe. It had the look of a cheap inn room, not the permanent home of a blessed Priestess in a temple devoted to light and freedom.

Two women had been in the process of filling a tub with steaming water, but the sudden entry had them frozen in place, buckets in hand. The Priestess they had come to see, however, was seated on the edge of her bed, dressed in a simple blue robe that overlapped at her front and tied closed at her waist. With a swift grace, she rose to greet them.

She was lovely and this was the first thing that Risha noticed. Though lacking in Risha's own musculature and height, the woman held herself with such proud poise that she appeared almost taller. Freckles dusted across fair skin, light brown hair fell in a neat stream down her back, and pointed ears marked her as a half-elf; a half-breed like Risha. Soft lips settled into a frown as blue eyes studied Risha with a polite emptiness. The half-orc was not one to care for how she appeared to others, but before this Priestess she found herself feeling unusually inadequate.

“Priestess Nimue,” the High Priest addressed, and in response she bowed her head. “This is Risha, your guide and guard to Old Helmstead.”

Again, those clear eyes looked Risha over, but if she saw promise or disappointment, the half-orc could not determine.

Nimue said not a word, but her gaze did shift back to the High Priest. Risha exhaled a soft breath she had not intended to hold and, silently, reprimanded herself. Perhaps it was simply the fact that this woman was, apparently, blessed by a Goddess who had been asleep and silent for centuries that made Risha so unsettled before her.

“Will you do us the honor,” the High Priest was saying. “Of showing us the Lady of Light's mark?”

Nimue offered a nod. Risha's eyes fell to her fingers, following them as they rose to loosen the drawstring of her robe. With little more than a tint of a blush, the half-elf lowered the sleeves, parting and exposing her bare chest and stomach for those present. And, while Risha was not one to overlook nor under-appreciate a pair of exposed breasts, she hardly noticed them compared to the Goddess' mark.

It was almost wicked the way it marred Nimue's skin. A curve stretched across the tops of her breasts, with a circle nestled between them. Below that, lines twisted together like vines, forming a stem that moved down her torso until they parted at her belly button, curving down to frame it. Stretching from the stem were more lines, three on each side, that reached up and moved over her breasts. Attached to these were shapes that resembled small leaves.

Risha had seen the emblem of the Goddess her entire life, but never had she witnessed it burned into someone's skin.

For truly that was how it appeared. The mark on Nimue looked as if someone had taken a metal quill doused in fire and drawn the image onto her skin, turning a beautiful symbol into a hideous scar.

“May I speak with my guard alone?” the Priestess asked, speaking for the first time since they had entered. Beside Risha the High Priest began to protest, but a light touch from the elder woman kept him quiet. With a bow of his head, the man motioned for all attendants to depart, and – with great reluctance – left the half-orc alone with the half-elf.

She heard the key turn in the lock, trapping them together.

As soon as they were truly alone, Nimue let her robe drop to a puddle of blue cloth at her feet. Risha turned her head, finding a spot in the corner of the room to stare at rather than the Priestess' nude body, but she was soon spared from the awkwardness as Nimue settled down into her bath. There was a pained hiss as the hot water enveloped her, but still, Risha kept her gaze averted.

“Your name is Risha?” Nimue asked once she was comfortable.

“It is, Priestess.”

“I have heard of you, the Temple Soldier… You alone will be my guide and guard?”

Risha fought to not look at the bathing woman as she gave a nod. “As far as I am aware, to avoid suspicion on the road.”

“And you agreed to this willingly?”

There was a moment's pause before she answered, uncertain whether this Priestess knew of her debt and the promise of forgiveness. She had agreed to it, but it was hardly a choice.

“I have.”

“Do you even know what this means?”

There was no edge to her tone, no remnant of the High Priest's own prejudice. But still, the question pricked at Risha's pride, just a little. Without meaning to, she turned to meet the half-elf's eyes, her posture rigid.

“Of course I do, I am no brainless oaf regardless of what most think.”

Nimue tilted her head at Risha's shift in demeanor before she seemed to understand. Her chin dipped down, eyes watching the water.

“I did not mean to imply that you were,” she said, apologetic. “I only ask because… well, this will not be an easy endeavor for either of us and had I any choice, I would not take part in it.”

Risha's shoulders relaxed and she shifted awkwardly in place, her armor groaning from the movement.

“I have bound myself to keep you safe.” She waited for Nimue to look up again before continuing; hoping beyond hope that the half-elf did not know of her past. “And I will not insult my own honor by breaking this vow.”

For the first time since Risha entered the Priestess' room, the corner of Nimue's lips twitched into a smile; faint, but present all the same.

“You have my thanks, Risha. I would say you can leave, but unless High Priest Baylen is waiting and listening at the door, I fear you are locked in here with me.”

“A good enough excuse to begin my duties,” she replied, turning to face the door and offer her newest charge some privacy.

#writeblr #fictober23 #my writing #risha the half orc #nimue the half elf #original #fantasy #4 #rough draft

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tiredassmage · 10 months

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Okay, I love my shitpost introductions to actually serious thoughts, headcanons, 'verses, what have you, but also... big, pretty post with (some semblance of) context (primarily in one spot instead of scattered in asks). That might be cool.

Okay! So! I made a shitpost about Tyr and his... growing list of aus and other shit I've made him do. So now because there's a lot of lore in my goldfish bowl of a brain about it sometimes and so hopefully anyone who is like, "Dot, what the Fuck are you smoking?" can find some semblance of an answer to that, I have made a slightly less shitpost (maybe...), more written guide to The Bullshit I Am On.

This brought to you by uh... there are several of you that are enablers. You know who you are. Blows you a kiss through the screen.

The rest of you? Welcome to my shitposting. I am only partially sorry. But get comfortable because I'm not about to stop. : D

Imperial Agent, moniker: "Cipher Nine"

The man, the myth, the legend, the og. Tyr Deckard, formerly Cipher Nine of Imperial Intelligence, double agent for the Republic Strategic Information Service answering to code name Legate.

Eventually turns Commander of the Eternal Alliance.

Primarily, if I'm talking about this bad bitch, it's as his og agent self. This is the foundation upon which all of my following nonsense came off of, which is why "ch: tyr" still talks about mostly this bad bitch, and all these other bad bitches that are and aren't him at the exact same time have other weird tags I have banged into existence with, like, a frying pan.

I love him and he needs to retire.

His character page is about this. I promise.

related tags; ch: tyr

Actually he has a pinterest board i haven't been obnoxious about in public yet either. merry crisis!

Smuggler; known alias: "Oliver Daxton"

A companion au as much as a Tyr in the smuggler campaign in general-au. Reimagines Tyr as an ex-Imperial agent that defected out of Imperial Intelligence to the SIS, former Cipher Ten turned SIS Agent Oliver Daxton.

Started as an ask from @captainderyn that I just decided to be a little insane about, I guess.

Joins the titular Smuggler on Hoth as their contact point for the White Maw job and can potentially act as their right-hand. For fic writing purposes, I pair him with one of my other smugglers, Cee, and I primarily discuss Oli in that lens.

If Risha is Cee's right hand woman, Oliver is her left-hand man. In the smoke and dust after Corellia, Oliver and Master Sumalee pull a few strings with the SIS and have him reassigned with the new Voidhound more long-term, to protect the Republic's latest investment in underworld logistics.

In a potential edition of KOTXX events, when Cee goes missing in the wake of Marr's destroyed fleet, Oliver takes over her contact network and assumes her moniker as Voidhound, attempting to run supplies through Eternal Empire blockades initially in tandem with SIS efforts, before the straining relations between the Republic, Sith Empire, and the Eternal Empire of Zakuul break Oliver's overall faith in the Republic's true goals, and he takes the Voidhound's fleet to act independently until he is later contacted by Theron Shan to come home to the Alliance and reunite with Cee.

related tags; vs: king and lionheart [smuggler!tyr]

Oli does not have a pinterest board. Yet. Sorry to set a trend and expectations and then immediately throw a wrench in it.

Bounty Hunter; known alias: "Kyranthe Rayne"

Shared au verse with @hyrohkaah; primarily focused in on the five year gap preceding KOTFE and following. A "Valkorian hot potato" role swap to shared verse events with Tyr & their Jedi Knight, Hyroh Kaah.

Involves a bit of timeline fuckery because timelines are a playground and this is already an au.

The short & sweet; Tyr adopts the alias "Kyranthe Rayne" and becomes a bounty hunter and assassin primarily for-hire following Hyroh's disappearance with Marr's fleet. Struck hard by the loss of a best friend, confidant, and lover, as Ky, he has already cut ties with Sith Intelligence earlier following the events on Ziost and now employs his former skills as a Cipher agent for his benefit first. And also to seek a little vengeance on the corrupt systems and parties that put him through hell as Cipher Nine.

Runs into Mako on the course of one of his hunts and basically adopts her. They are friends and partners now. They, in turn, also eventually adopt a stray former Jedi padawan named Ezekiel (also @hyrohkaah).

Ezekiel and Tyr got that sad, neglected, bonded, do not separate shelter dog rizz together. Eze essentially becomes his daughter. Bc it turns out Eze was also once a Sith Acolyte, so they share Imperial Abandonment Trauma (TM) and probably much to the stress of both of his now-adopted daughters, Tyr will kill people for them without so much as blinking.

In short, a Tyr who very nearly managed to get out and have a life beyond being an agent with Hyroh, lost that in the Wild Space expedition, spent approximately five years beaten down by the galaxy's assumption Hyroh had been killed, and who thus became a bit harder and a lot more stubborn about his boundaries in the aftermath of it all.

Eventually turns covert operative for the Eternal Alliance and is Hyroh's very fiercely protective guard dog of a boyfriend and personal advisor as Hyroh is thrust to become Commander of the Alliance.

relevant tags; vs: my mind is a place i can't escape your ghost [bh!tyr]

woe! pinterest board be upon ye!

Sith Warrior; known alias: "Tyr Kyrane"

I'm blaming this one mostly on @hyrohkaah because this is a take I said I'd never do for Tyr and now look what we're doing.

Full, actual, proper hot potato between Hyroh and Tyr, aka actual role swap where Tyr's the Force-sensitive one and Hyroh is the Imperial Agent. Crunchy Sith and Imperial power dynamics. Just as much devotion in blood. Just as much stupid displays of affection (eventually).

Partially reimagines Tyr's origin, of course, as adopted into the Sith Kyrane family following his parents' reported deaths (I'll neither confirm nor deny if this incarnation is still related to Keeper. Let's all suffer with the uncertainty. >:3), but not shown to be Force-sensitive until his early teens.

Thus struggles with alternating pressures of never being good enough for the family because he wasn't Sith, then because he wasn't of their own blood, and then especially because he's not of their blood, so any failures will be his own weakness, but could absolutely disgrace the house. Rigorous dance training eventually translates into dual training in dance and the demand to master the art of wielding a dual-bladed saber.

Connections with Overseer Tremel through the family bring him to Korriban slightly ahead of schedule, but Tremel takes over his training personally and paces it... far more evenly than his family. So you can imagine what Baras's later request for him to strike against the one man who perhaps gave half a damn about his well-being is like.

But, long story short, will attempt to use his eventual position as Wrath to curb some of the Dark Council's infighting and will take a particular interest in the remains of the Empire's Intelligence operations, thus adopted former Cipher Nine Hyroh Kaah as a personal agent in weeding out the remaining security risks of Baras's network of intelligence assets and informants.

Power couple shit, to be honest.

The babies of the aus because Joel and I had to make me bargain with myself to fucking finish his bounty hunter playthrough first and also maybe my Consular I've been neglecting on Satele Shan for fucking months, good god someone stop me.

relevant tags; vs: no stranger would it be [sith!tyr]

and bc i'm insane, perceive my madness about them: pinterest

Republic Trooper, Commanding Officer - Havoc Squad

An edition of Tyr that grew up in Republic space under the care of his single mother. They bounced around a fair bit between her work, sometimes moving planets entirely.

In his mid-teens, Tyr picked up work at a mechanic's shop - the latest in a series of odd jobs to help his mother make ends meet. As a side to that, he also got into racing swoopbikes. And accidentally ended up sort of in the middle of an SIS op that ultimately concluded in a staged accident in one of his races when he was sixteen. Tyr still has the scars on his chin and left shoulder.

Officially recruited into the Republic Strategic Information Service at 18, when he promptly moved out. His relationship with his mother had always been a bit strained and a touch distanced, so Tyr rarely saw much of her after the move. He did, however, continue to send her parts of his paychecks back to help her stay above board.

Ends up in SpecForce as an SIS plant with the goal of investigating rumored SpecForce unrest, desertions, and other unusual activity. Was never meant to stay assigned to Havoc Squad, but then... the whole squad turned to the Imps in front of him and... the rest is kinda history.

Has a tight, but somewhat up and down relationship with fellow Havoc recruit turned pilot in Hyroh. In short, Tyr isn't always the greatest fit as Havoc's CO, nor do him and Hyroh always see eye to eye based on differences in experiences with Republic loyalty.

Ultimately, however, Hyroh, Aric Jorgan, Elara Dorne, and Tyr are pretty ride or die. Despite the rocky lows and through the highs, they are consistently the people left around, the ones looking after each other. Tyr learns a lot about what he values and what truly matters: the people right beside you.

relevant tags: vs: kiss with a fist / self-control in locker room showers [trooper!tyr]

also has an edition where I made him suffer as the Outlander in KOTXX, which. exacerbates his issues developed as a Republic soldier in the thick of the war. that gets its own tag: vs: all their words for glory / they all sound so empty [outlander trooper!tyr]

pinterest!

#dot talk #ch: tyr #vs: king and lionheart [smuggler!tyr]#vs: my mind is a place i can't escape your ghost [bh!tyr]#vs: no stranger would it be [sith!tyr]#dare i tag this...#across the tyrverse #??? i think i do

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saiilorstars · 10 months

Text

Ch.30: If I Could Have You

Steve Rogers x OFC fic

taglist: @ocappreciationtag @arrthurpendragon @anotherunreadblog @maaaaarveeeeel @stareyedplanet @gloryekaterina @averyhotchner @foxesandmagic @lenonizi

Story Masterlist // Seren’s Masterlist

Also available on Fanfic ○ Ao3 ○ Wattpad

If you’d like to be a part of this OC’s work/edits, let me know!

By the time October rolled by, Seren was proud to have three recruits in tip-top shape. She was confident in them enough to advocate for a few missions here and there. It took her nearly 3 months to get them to where they were and she was sure that with more time, she would be able to create a full fledged team.

The only downside was the time it took out of her daily life. She wasn't able to call home a lot. She often went weeks and without contact and if she wasn't careful, she would go months. She still needed and wanted to know what was going on back home.

Mid-October is when she finally managed to get ahold of someone for a decent conversation. Natasha was in the lead for most answered calls. As it turned out, Steve and Chloe were incredibly busy lately. Chloe was off in one of the southern states for God knew what and Steve was in the opposite train.

"There's some news," Natasha almost sing-sang over the video call.

"What is it?" Seren was on her way into the apartment.

"We're being relocated to D.C."

Seren picked up on the key word. "We're? As in…"

"Everyone," Natasha smirked. "Fury won't say it but I know there's something going on. I'm already packed but I think Steve is taking it a little harder."

"Well yeah, he's being asked to move out of his home city. I'd have a thing or two to think about."

Natasha smirked suddenly. "Didn't you?"

Seren groaned. "Missing the point! So, is he okay?"

"You could ask him yourself, you know."

"I think I'm the least qualified person to talk about moving," Seren's sharp eyes made an entire reminder of where she was at the current moment. "But I'm sure it'll inevitably come up in our next call."

"What about you, when are you coming home?"

Seren sighed. Each time someone asked the question she answered them with the same thing: 'I don't know'. It was frustrating but what could she do? Just last week, Rebeca had confided in her that another country was getting more and more curious about their proposal. What Seren had accomplished so far was incredible and if it could reproduce what the Avengers had done in New York, even something remotely close, it was something that any country would grab. Rebeca promised that if that was the case, Seren would become BIG big. She would do "wonders" but Seren's first thoughts went to the family she would leave behind if that happened.

It would be days before she could share that information with Steve too. When Natasha first heard of it, she admitted she wasn't that surprised but not too happy either. She missed Seren—she was the only Agent that Natasha could fully trust in and apart from everything, they were together from the start. She wasn't afraid to tell Seren that she was due back home, though she understood why Seren would say no.

Steve wasn't that brave. He was happy to hear that things were going well on her end and he would keep his aching thoughts to himself. "Send me a postcard when you go to Paris," he joked with her instead.

Seren chuckled. "Yeah, but I don't think I'd have a lot of time for that kind of stuff. I barely sleep right now."

"Well take care of yourself, Seren. I know it's rich coming from me but slow down sometimes."

Seren appreciated his advice because God knows that she did need to slow down every once in a while. Risha told her the same thing, especially when Seren told her to take a break. "I heard about the move..." she started with all the caution in the world. She'd been trying to work her way to that subject without making it sound like it's all she wanted to talk about, especially if Steve wasn't going to comment about it anyways.

"Uuh, yeah," his nod wasn't much to go on by.

"Are you...are you alright with it?"

"Honestly? I don't really know." Steve had gone about it several times in his head. If he was being completely honest with himself, there was nothing tying him to New York anymore. His home was gone, his family and his friends. Even now Seren was gone from it too. What was he staying there for?

"I've been working on reconstructing the tower and I've had a few ideas...about a team. Make a new team under new rules with absolutely no secrets."

Tony's proposal sometimes didn't seem all that bad anymore. He hadn't mentioned it to Steve anymore but he knew that Tony was still waiting for an answer.

"Steve?" he heard Seren's call. He had left her with silence. "Are you okay?" She was concerned that he wasn't telling her all the truth, and she was right.

"Umm, I mean...there's just some things," Steve rubbed a hand over his face. "Stark, he…"

"Oh, what did he do now?" Seren dreaded the gimmicks that man would come up with.

Steve smiled at her obvious dread. "No, no, this time he...he's doing something good, I think. He...has this idea, about starting a new team."

"A new team?" Seren's eyebrows knitted together. "Who does he want to recruit?"

"Us."

"Us!?"

Steve nodded. "You, me, Natasha, Clint, Chloe...all of us."

"Wh-why? I thought he didn't even want to be a part of the Initiative!"

"Things change," Steve shrugged. He hadn't really asked Tony all of his reasons for such an idea but he did get one jist, the same jist that even Seren knew about. "Plus, he doesn't trust S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Ah," Seren remembered that all too well. "What do you think of it, then?"

"Like I said, I don't really know. To be honest, I'm still just trying to figure out my role at S.H.I.E.L.D."

"What do you mean? You're...you, what else is there?"

"I'm way behind on everything Seren and you know that." He appreciated her trying to be kind but the truth was the truth. He had a long way before he truly consider himself one of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s agents. "And I still don't know what to make of Fury. He's relatively okay but there's still some things about him that don't rub me well."

"I'm not going to lie, that feeling's never going to change. I've known Fury since I was a kid. It's just who he is."

"But doesn't it bother you that he doesn't always tell you the truth? Look what happened with the Hydra weapons?"

"I don't know, Steve," Seren shrugged but there was a clear confliction marking her face. Steve wouldn't ask her if that also bothered her—the fact that she didn't even know what to make of her awareness of the lies—but he sincerely hoped that his questions would make her think about it more. "I guess...I guess I just trained myself to go with it. I've been there since I was 10. I don't really know what to do without S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Looks to me like you're doing fine," Steve pointed out her entire mission in England. It was an extension of S.H.I.E.L.D. but she essentially wasn't working for them anymore. She was doing her own missions and if things went well for her, she'd be off in other countries too far from S.H.I.E.L.D.'s reach.

Seren sheepishly smiled in return. "Yeah, but...I've always had S.H.I.E.L.D. in my life and to suddenly leave it behind and start a whole new team? I wouldn't know what to do."

"I think you would be fine," Steve had no doubt about it. Seren was doing what she did from an early age. She didn't need S.H.I.E.L.D., it IT needed HER her. She just hadn't realized it.

"Are you considering Stark's proposal then?" Seren curiously asked him. "Because if you did, you know that I would support you. Although, I don't know how you and Stark would work together…"

Steve laughed. "Oh, I know."

"I might have to pull you out of some epic fights with each other!"

"Yeah, yeah, I may have to hold off on that then...at least until you're back." He hadn't planned on saying those words but he couldn't say that he regretted them either, not when Seren smiled so sweetly at him.

"Wouldn't that be nice?" she mused, desperately hoping that her blush wasn't noticeable on the screen. "My absolute dream is to be Captain America's and Iron' Man's babysitter."

"I'm sure the pay would be good!"

"Steve!"

"I was just saying," he raised his hands in surrender.

"Mhm, sure," Seren rolled her eyes at him. She suddenly heard a knock on her door and, knowing that it was her neighbor Holly coming over for that lunch they planned, she had to end the call. "If you allow me my two-cents, I think you'll be just as good in D.C. as you were in New York. It's a beautiful place and kind of patriotic...just a note…"

It was Steve's turn to roll his eyes. "Right. But thanks."

"And if I could, I'd be there to help out."

"I know you would but right now people need you over there. Help them." Steve knew that would make her incredibly happy so...he should be happy too. That's what he kept trying to convince himself to believe in.

Seren nodded but said nothing else. She couldn't trust herself not to say anything imprudent. It was getting more difficult to keep her mouth shut about certain things and she blamed Chloe for all of them. It was much easier living in bliss but after Chloe's visit in June, every single thought that Seren had about Steve was coming out like a gusher. She'd become self aware and it was the worst thing she could've done.

She had to distract herself. So she did...with work. A lot of it.

~ 0 ~

In the last week of October, Steve found himself examining his new apartment in D.C. It was bigger than the one in New York, he would definitely have more space for more things. What things? He hadn't exactly bought many things to begin with. The things he had were all bought over by Seren. He'd have to start over again and this time it would be by himself.

Almost.

Chloe had made herself present two days after he settled in, but with a mission. "I'm here for 2 days then I'm off to England," she explained on their way into the new S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ.

"What short mission involves you being here for 2 days?"

"Please, sound more excited about me being around. It truly warms my heart."

Steve met her sarcasm with a smile and a roll of his eyes. "Sorry, you know what I meant—"

Chloe stopped in the hallway and raised a hand in the air. "I know," she smiled. "And to answer your question, I don't really know what I'm here for. My plans were to go to England for the whole week and surprise Seren. Fury called me back."

"But you don't know what you're here for?" Steve watched her shake her head ever so casually. "And that doesn't bother you? That, you don't know…?"

"That I don't know everything about this place?" If there was one stark difference between Chloe and Seren, it was that Chloe went directly for the point, no filters needed. She knew exactly what Steve meant to ask and she answered it with the truth. "I learned to get used to it. You never know why they do it. Sometimes it's necessary."

"But why would that be necessary? You're a team."

Before Chloe turned away, Steve caught an almost sad smile marking her face. "We compartmentalize." She continued walking down the hallway, prompting Steve to do the same. "Sometimes it's for the greater good and sometimes things just aren't meant to be known by everyone else. It's better this way. Every group knows what they need to know in order to complete their given missions. You'll get used to it."

"I'm not sure that I will," Steve admitted. Already he found it hard to work with SHIELD, what hope did he have to settle into an organization that wasn't keen on honesty?

Chloe could feel all of his troubles radiating into the air. "I hope you don't keep this attitude when you visit Seren this week. It'd be a real downer, you know."

"How do you know that I'm—?"

"Please, Stark and I talk. That was real nice of him what he did. When do you leave?"

"Since when do you and Stark talk?"

"Don't change the subject," Chloe wagged a finger at him. "When do you leave? Because you're still going, right?"

"Yeah…"

"Great! Because I have plans to help—"

"No, no," this time it was Steve wagging a finger in Chloe's face. "I don't need any help—"

Chloe scoffed. "I think you do! Everyone knows it!"

"Knows what?"

"Don't make me say it in a place where every conversation is recorded."

"Say what — wait, everything is recorded?" Steve was now looking up at the ceiling with a new sense of dread. Even that was different nowadays.

Chloe chuckled at him. "Sometimes, you're too innocent. It's a good thing you have me to help you out."

"Chloe, I've done this before and Bucky was never able to really 'help me out'." And Steve knows that he had tried but it was simply not meant to be.

Chloe's face remained straight. "Then he sucked and clearly he had no idea what he was doing." She turned around, her long tresses of hair flipping with enough force to hit Steve in the face.

"Um, I think he did, actually," Steve followed behind her until he caught up. "He was the one who always tried getting us double dates."

"Mm, and how'd that end up?"

"For me, not so great. For him? Double great."

Chloe snorted into a laugh. "Oh honey, I can do better for you. In fact, I take it as a challenge."

"Please don't." Steve went for Chloe's arm just as she was about to make a turn. "Chloe, I mean it. I'm grateful for everything you've done since I met you but this is something that I don't want planned. All I know is that it's been a very long time since I last saw Seren and I just want to see her."

"So you do know what you want," Chloe said cleverly and smirked at Steve's deadpanning face. She raised her hands in the air. "No worries, I do know how to control myself. I promise." She winked and continued on her way.

For some reason, Steve wasn't entirely convinced with her.

~ 0 ~

On November 1st, Seren found herself with a short day at work. She had come in with all the intentions of working as if it were any other day. She had her new team: Risha, Joshua and Blake to train after all. Today she was going to focus on landing strategies...or so she thought.

"You can't work on your birthday," Risha was adamant that Seren return home the moment she walked into their training room.

"Isn't that a rule somewhere?" Joshua looked around the room as if said rule was hanging on a plaque on the wall.

Seren shook her head at the trio. "It's fine, really."

"You should've gone home," Blake said. "I'm sure Miss Hale could've arranged that for you."

"That she would've," Rebeca Hale said herself as she strode into the room. "But Seren said it wasn't necessary."

"What!?" Risha exclaimed. "What do you mean you didn't want to go home for your birthday?"

Seren only smiled at the question, a strained one too. She had thought about the offer when Rebeca came up with it but she eventually had to refuse it. She would love to come home and...stay there. It would hurt too much to be around for a couple days and then have to do the goodbyes all over again. She wouldn't torture herself that way.

"Nonetheless, you are getting a present," Rebeca came directly to Seren and held out a small white box.

"Rebeca," Seren shook her head but it was done in vain. Rebeca forced her to take the box. With a sigh, Seren did as such and opened it up. Inside were four airplane tickets. "Rebeca, I said I wasn't going home—"

"Check the destination," Rebeca's eyes briefly flickered to the trio of trainees behind Seren without being noticed.

Seren searched for the destination and found 'Paris' listed. "Hold on…" Her eyes met Rebeca's soon enough. "I'm going to Paris?"

"Mhm," Rebeca nodded. A smile was spreading across her face. "Not just you, though, your team."

"What?" went the trainees in question.

"Rebeca, I don't understand," Seren said. She put the lid back on the box.

"It's France—I told you they were getting more interested in what we're doing here," Rebeca was now grinning like the cheshire cat. "They want to meet with you, Seren, to talk about the team. I booked the tickets and I may have made the return date a couple days after your meetings for some, uh, vacation time?"

"I'm okay with that!" Risha's hand was soaring in the air. Seren looked back to see her overly excited face and had to smile. As soon as Risha met Seren's gaze, she dropped her hand to her side. "I-I mean...if that's okay with you of course."

Seren playfully rolled her eyes and shifted her gaze back to Rebeca. "Thanks Rebeca. Of course I'll be on that plane. We'll all be."

"Excellent, because they're truly interested in the team now. If all goes well, France will be your next stop and then who knows!" Rebeca patted Seren's shoulder and turned to leave the room. She only stopped by the doorway to give Seren a head's up. "Oh, there's someone waiting for you on your way out."

Seren wouldn't make an argument to stay. Rebeca had already made her point and, plus, she was a little curious who was waiting for her.

"Guess I'll see you tomorrow," she gave a languid wave at her trainees.

"Or not, if you get drunk correctly," Joshua smirked.

Seren rolled her eyes. "Just for that, you all get to train an extra hour." She pointed a warning finger at the trio. "I mean it. One extra hour."

"Way to go, Josh," she heard Blake mutter on her way out.

Seren made a note to send them a text later on to let them get off free. She went on her way to the front entrance only to find a tall, rosy-cheeked blonde woman outside. "You have got to be kidding me," Seren exhaled deeply.

Chloe grinned. "C'mon, at least pretend you're excited to see me. Happy birthday!"

Seren smiled. "Yeah, alright."

~ 0 ~

Since Chloe had arrived early in the morning, she had ample time to spend with Seren and unknowingly to the Celessian, prep too.

"How long are you here for?" Seren asked the usual question once the two were back in her apartment.

"Just for today," the blonde shrugged. She went directly into the hallway, ignoring Seren's puzzling look as she followed behind.

"You seriously came to England for one day?"

"Yup," Chloe pushed Seren's bedroom door open and walked right in. She made a beeline for the closet. "I'm off for Denmark tomorrow."

Seren long ago learned not to waste her breath on Chloe's erratic solo mission schedule but it never meant that it stopped bothering her. "So you're here with me for the day?"

Chloe flashed her a smile. "You know it. Since you refused to come home for the day. Don't know what that's about—"

"Please don't. And what are you doing in my closet? What are you, 12?"

"I never had sisters," reminded Chloe as she passed some hands through the wardrobe. "Just brothers. And I'm looking for something good for today."

"So you're raiding my closet...on my birthday…" Seren folded her arms over her chest. "I never had sisters either but I'm pretty sure that's not what sisters should be doing."

Chloe rolled her eyes and plucked out a black, spaghetti strapped dress. "Oh, this is nice. And it's not for me, just so you know. I thought that would've been obvious."

"So you have plans for us today or what?" Seren noticed the fancy clothes Chloe was picking out from her closet.

"Yes and why do you have so many pant-suits?" Chloe wrinkled her nose as she pulled out two pairs of said suits.

"Because I work for an organization and I prefer a good suit sometimes?"

"Well it's wrong for today! You need something…" Chloe kept searching for whatever it was that she was looking for, all in the meanwhile insulting the next suits that she happened to see. "Wait! What's this?" She plucked out a white lace dress with a very defined sweetheart neckline. "When did you buy this?" she shot Seren a look.

Seren could only shrug. "I don't know, one of the rare moments I splurged. It wasn't cheap, you know."

Chloe smirked. "It's like you already knew."

"Knew what?" It really concerned Seren the way Chloe's smirk widened. She was up to something alright. "Chloe, you should know that it would be absolutely wrong to do something horrible to me on my birthday."

Whether or not Seren had actually wanted, the dress was on her and it wouldn't be coming off for anything. Her hair, though incredibly short, had been curled to one side while the shortest of strands had been twisted on the other side of her head.

"I feel like I'm overly dressed," Seren huffed on their way to some restaurant Chloe had talked about earlier.

"You know that if Tony picked it out, it has to be fancy," Chloe shrugged beside her on the street. "Just be glad I said no to the limousine."

Seren actually was thankful for that. She didn't know Tony enough but she was aware enough to know that he did things over-the-top. "Can you at least tell me why we even bothered to dress up? I'd be completely fine if—"

Chloe sharply glanced at her friend. "You're serious?" Seren nodded. "It's your damn birthday and you don't want to dress up just a tiny bit? God, work has made you even more into a bore!"

"Thanks," Seren said flatly. She dug her hands into her cream-colored coat's pockets. "I'm thousands of miles away from home and I just realize that it'll probably be a very long time until I'll be done with all this."

Chloe sensed a new degree of certainty in Seren's tone this time around. She didn't want to push further, not today of all days, but she hoped that later on Seren would tell her what changed. She checked the time on her phone and was delighted to see she still had time.

"I hope I at least get some decent red velvet cake," Seren warned when the two women were seated in the restaurant.

"How about a cinnamon roll?" Chloe looked Seren and saw her friend's face practically fall.

'"I, um, I haven't really been in the mood for those lately." 'Lately' would be an understatement considering she had not had a cinnamon roll since June when Chloe last visited.

"Seren without a cinnamon roll?" Chloe dramatically gasped. "The travesty!"

Seren tried to smile and play it off as a joke but she failed miserably. Chloe saw right through the smile and sighed to herself. She truly wanted Seren to enjoy herself, her damn birthday! Seren's major problem is that she worked too much and paid very little attention to herself. True, that kind of flaw is what benefited Chloe when they first met. Chloe would never deny that. Seren put all of her efforts into helping Chloe handle the newly embedded Hive Mind in her head, trained her as much as she could, and gave her friendship.

And now Chloe felt like it was time to repay all that.

Their combined lunch and dinner went by finely, if not a bit quiet. Chloe insisted that Seren should get a birthday cake, even if it was a small red velvet cake.

"Honestly, Chloe, it's almost night and you have a flight to catch later. I'm okay," Seren shrugged.

Chloe insisted that was not going to be the case for tonight. "You need to stop settling already."

Seren rolled her eyes and continued to walk alongside Chloe. "I'm not settling. You're going to be late for your own flight! If this is a mission then I cannot allow you to jeopardize it over something as silly as my birthday."

Chloe met her look but it was only to scold her. "You seriously need to stop putting yourself down. Everything about you is important and that includes your birthday." She pressed her index finger against Seren's forehead for effect.

Seren pushed her finger away. "Chloe, I refuse to believe that you're being careless right now—"

"Good, because I'm not. I'm a woman with a plan."

"Sometimes I just want to strangle you."

Chloe smirked. Her eyes flashed blue. "Yeah, even the aliens in my head don't believe that. At least I think since they don't really speak English to me. I haven't untapped the language barrier between us—"

"Chloe!"

"Fine!" The blonde huffed and flapped a hand towards the end of the street. "There's my damn plan!"

Seren looked over and saw nothing special in particular. It was just businesses that included a dessert bakery. "What?"

"You're going to get your red velvet cake. Go get it!"

"But Chloe—"

"I already ordered it so go fucking get it!"

"Chloe!"

"I said go, dammit!" Chloe could be very impatient but she was usually good at restraining herself. Clearly right now wasn't one of those moments. "I'll really be late so I'll have to leave you here."

"What—! Ah!" Seren felt her body pulled back and suddenly she had Chloe's arms around her in a hug. "Chloe!" Seren laughed. "You're so crazy!"

"Absolutely the craziest!" agreed Chloe with a nod. "Happy birthday, Seren. I seriously don't know what my life would've been if you'd never found me," Chloe murmured in her tight hug. Seren smiled lightly and hugged her back. "I really mean it. I know that I'd probably be dead without you."

"Oh Chloe, someone would've helped you," Seren patted her friend's back.

"No, because not everyone is as kind as you are, Seren. I know that I would've died and that's why my favorite Avenger is Stardust." Seren laughed with her. "And it's also why I would do anything to make you happy."

Seren chuckled, but secretly felt her heart swell. "Oh, you know you really are like my sister, right? The one I never had?"

Chloe stepped back from Seren. "Just like you're my sister. My selfless, big sister. And now as the annoying little sister, I must fulfill my role by insisting you pick up that cake I ordered for you."

"You ordered me a cake?" Seren blinked.

Chloe laughed. "Of course! Have a slice on me, okay! I gotta go!"

"Well, let me take you to the—"

But Chloe didn't let Seren finish. She manually turned Seren around and pushed her forwards, insisting that Seren pick up the cake. With no other option, Seren started making her way towards the bakery. The idea of having some red velvet cake was, admittedly, sounding very good to her the closer she got to the building.

The building looked perfectly normal to Seren. There were a few customers inside but nothing really made it stand out. She hoped the cake truly was ready. She walked inside and immediately smelled the sweet air of pastries. Her first thought went to a cinnamon roll, and that just brought her already little smile down.

She walked up to the counter and asked for the cake, deciding Chloe must have put it under her name. Sure enough, 'Seren Soul' was the name on the receipt. She was handed a pink cake box and then a plastic box of cinnamon rolls.

"Oh, no, no," Seren started sliding the box back on the counter, "Those aren't mine. I didn't — there were no cinnamon rolls ordered." Just looking at them hurt her.

The employee checked the receipt and confirmed the rolls were part of the order. "They're already paid for," she told Seren when the latter insisted they weren't hers.

Seren begrudgingly took the box and put it over the cake box. She might just be giving them to her neighbor or something. She couldn't bear to eat them on her own. "Thanks," she mumbled and picked up the two boxes from the counter.

She made it to the door and realized it would be a nice challenge getting out without dropping anything. If I can fight aliens, I can open a damn door on my own. She shuffled the boxes into one arm and reached for the door handle. In doing so, the cinnamon roll box slid off the box.

"Crap—!" Seren exclaimed, turning and bending quickly to try and catch it. Fortunately, someone else caught the box before it fell to the floor.

"Let me get that for you, ma'am..." she heard but instead of being thankful, she froze. She looked ahead and saw a pair of bright blue eyes that sent about a dozen (or possibly a hundred) butterflies in her stomach.

Steve was smiling like he always did, like nothing had changed, certainly not where they lived. They were out and about as they tended to do outside of missions. He did swear, however, that Seren looked even more beautiful than he remembered. He almost felt guilty for forgetting that. "Hi, Seren..."

Seren slowly got over her shock and began to smile. "H-hi." She felt breathless, and maybe she was. It was the first time she saw Steve after becoming aware. I hate Chloe, she grumbled to herself. They straightened up at the same time and looked at each other. Gosh, was he always that handsome? He had on a button-down blue plaid shirt, black pants and his favorite brown leather jacket. His hair was neatly combed to the side — the Golden boy look as Natasha had joked about plenty of times before. Now that Seren looked, she decided the 'golden boy' look was far more appealing.

"Happy birthday," Steve said, revealing to be holding a small bouquet of curious purple flowers in his other hand.

"I—" Seren's eyes flickered from him to the flowers, to the cinnamon rolls. Her head was spinning. "But you're — you're here — with the—" She shook her head, and heard Steve's light chuckle. "Shut up, don't laugh at me..." She looked up at him from under her lashes, feeling her cheeks flush warm.

"I'm not — laughing at you is the last thing I want to do right now," Steve said, "I really wanted to see you."

Seren finally raised her head and met his gaze. "Me too..." she admitted.

Not knowing what to do then, Steve motioned the flowers to her. He felt so awkward because there were about a hundred things he wanted to tell Seren and he couldn't say a single one. Luckily, Seren took the flowers from him in her free hand.

"They're so pretty," she mused as she took a sniff of them. "I don't think I've ever seen these kinds..."

"They're called Aster flowers," Steve said, "They're um, well, they're flowers that usually mean 'stars'."

"Oh!" Seren's brows raised in delight. "How sweet! Thank you!" She felt a new rush of appreciation for her flowers and definitely for Steve himself. She would hug him if her arms weren't full. "How did — I mean — this was Chloe's doing, wasn't it!?"

Steve couldn't help it and laughed. It was a fair presumption but he still told her that Chloe was free from all responsibility. "Stark gave me the ticket. Birthday presents, you know."

"Ah..." Seren honestly had not been expecting that. She might have to give Tony a call and thank him for the gesture.

"Here, let me help you!" Steve said and took the cake box out of Seren's arm. "I'm, uh, basically here for a few days."

Seren could not help but beam. "Really?" Steve nodded. "Oh, that's great!" She would definitely call up Tony later and thank him. And Chloe.

Steve wouldn't ever refuse a hug from her. He wrapped his free arm around her and took in her sweet cinnamon scent. He picked up a long time ago that whatever perfume she used had to have some type of cinnamon scent in the mix. He didn't realize how much he missed even that from her.

Seren pulled away eventually and still held the biggest smile on her face. "You actually came here…" She laughed with the flowers he was still holding. Orange poppies. Her favorites. "For me?"

Steve nodded. "I know it's probably outdated but…"

"Not for me, it's so sweet," Seren happily took the bouquet into her hands. It was REALLY really sweet and definitely him. "Thank you."

"Chloe mentioned you liked red velvet cake? Whatever red velvet is…?" Steve made a gesture towards the bakery. "There might be an order waiting for you."

Seren's eyes flickered between him and the bakery. "Have you and Chloe been plotting for this?" The smile on his face was answer enough for Seren. "Oh my God!" She laughed. "Seriously? You and Chloe?"

"She's actually really good at these things." Steve would give Chloe her credit where it was due. "I already had the ticket—"

Seren raised an eyebrow at those words. "Since when?"

"For a while." Steve preferred to leave Tony's name out of it for the moment. "I was coming to see you and...Chloe found out. She just helped me out a bit. This world…it's still confusing." He hated repeating the fact he still wasn't adept to the new world. It only helped solidify his hesitancy to start something with Seren. She really didn't need that in her life.

But in reality, Seren didn't see in that way at all. She smiled softly at him. "I really appreciate you doing this. Was the bakery your idea?"

"I know you like sweets but I wasn't sure what your favorite was and honestly I'm not sure what red velvet is."

Seren nodded, chuckling. "Well, I could show you." She made a nod at the bakery still waiting to be entered.

Steve quickly reached for the door again and this time actually pulled it open for them. "After you."

Seren smiled. Very him indeed. "Thank you."

~ 0 ~

Seren's apartment was in a nice neighborhood—it should be given that it was acquired for her by her job—and the inside was just as nice. It was far bigger than her old apartment in New York and more elegant.

"Please tell me you'll be staying for a few days," Seren felt awfully brave when she said those words. She set her flowers down on the coffee table and shook off her coat, leaving it on the couch. "There's so many things I could show you here!"

Steve was speechless for a moment as he got a good look at the dress she was wearing first. She was beautiful, to put it simply. The defined sweetheart neckline was particularly eye-catching but he certainly wasn't going to tell her that. The makeup on her face made her eye pop, and who could get over her smile? He cleared his throat and, when he was sure that nothing uncomfortable would slip out from him, he told her his stay was indeed for a few days.

Ecstatic, Seren hurried into the kitchen for some plates so they could have cake and cinnamon rolls.

"Have you ever tried red velvet before?" She returned with the utensils and plates and set them on the coffee table.

"Uh, no, I don't think I have," Steve said with a shake of his head. He watched her open the box to reveal a pretty cake inside. He could see the glimpse of red bread with a bright white cream topping. 'Happy birthday Seren' was written in beautiful cursive.

Seren cut two slices of cake for them and slid Steve his plate. She was excited for him to try it out. "You'll love it," she promised as they sat down together on the couch.

"It looks good," Steve shrugged. It seemed like a regular cake but since Seren was so excited, he didn't have the heart to disappoint her even if he ended up not liking it. He grabbed his spoon and took a piece of the cake into his mouth, prepared to lie through his teeth if he needed to. However, he soon discovered that disappointing Seren wouldn't be an issue because, as it turned out, the cake was actually delicious. "Okay, you're right. It's good!"

Seren laughed. "Yes! I knew you'd like it!"

Steve could not, for the life of him, stop the automatic smile spreading across his face as they ate their slices together. "You have no idea how much I missed you, Seren." He missed how easy it was trying new things when Seren was the one leading him into it. He trusted her with his entire life, never doubting her intentions. He had yet to find someone he could do the same with.

Seren blushed at Steve's words and decided that her red velvet cake was a much safer thing to look at. She didn't want to embarrass herself by saying something stupid. There was one thing, though, that she did want to say. "I missed you too." She wished she could've said it more confidently but for now it would have to do. "I'm really glad you're here. No matter how many friends I make, it's not really the same as...you know, New York."

"It's a brand new country for you, brand new everything," Steve said, "It's normal to feel out of place."

"I just hope the feeling goes away at some point..." Seren said with a small sigh.

"Now wait a minute, it's your birthday. I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to be sad on your birthday," Steve said and motioned her to keep eating from her slice.

Thankfully, she chuckled and continued eating. She finished her slice in no time. Afterwards, she went into the kitchen in search of a vase for the flowers Steve had given her.

"I really love these," she reiterated when she arranged them in the vase now filled with fresh water. "I never even knew there were flowers that looked like stars."

"Me neither," Steve admitted, making her laugh. It was a stroke of luck finding that store. Although now that he thought about, it was Chloe who had suggested he go into the store to ask for flowers. He suspected the Hive Mind had something to do with all that.

Seren smelled her new flowers again and hummed. "I've never had the hand for flowers but I'll try to keep these alive for as long as I can," she smiled at him softly. "Because they're from you."

Steve wasn't a stranger to knots in his stomach. God knows he spent the better part of his life having that with every health complication he would have. But right now, that knot felt so good. Even the loss of air wasn't a problem. He went back to eating the remainder of his cake slice before he did something stupid.

"So do you have a place to stay?"

"Yeah, yeah, Stark actually helped with that too," Steve nodded.

Seren's expression seemed like she was suspicious of something. "He's so involved with you lately. Are you sure you didn't take his offer up about that new team and just forgot to mention it?"

"I would never forget to mention something like that," Steve said.

"Well, you know you're always free to move on from SHIELD. You should work where you're comfortable, Steve. Nobody would fault you for that."

"Thanks, Seren." Steve knew that she meant her words and it warmed his heart to see her care so much for his comfort. Truth be told, he'd be most comfortable wherever she was too.

"I'm just letting you know because you're too polite to tell me 'no'," Seren said, wagging a finger at him while he laughed.

"What?"

"It's true! You're too polite for your own good!"

"Mm, not always true! Not when I get really, really mad. And, really, you're one to talk!"

"Me?" Seren blinked.

"Yes, you! I don't think I've ever seen you get really mad," Steve said as he thought about it some more. Seren had only expressed a heightened anger when they were fighting the Chitauri. Other than that, he couldn't remember another moment. "Well, no, there was that moment when Natasha jumped on your bed with shoes."

"I hate shoes on the bed," Seren frowned on the spot. "They're icky! They've got germs from everywhere! You don't bring those to your bed! Or people's beds!"

Steve started to laugh. "I'll be sure to remember that."

"Why? Planning on jumping on my bed anytime soon?" Seren crossed her arms in front of her. "Don't you dare."

Steve rolled his eyes at her.

"So," Seren put her hands on her lap, "I won't be getting Natasha or Tony jumping out of somewhere to scare me, right? Because Natasha's done that before too."

"As exciting as that sounds, no," Steve assured her. "It's just me. I figured you didn't really want such a big thing for tonight."

Seren was impressed with how accurate he was. She didn't realize how well he had come to know her. If she thought about things, she knew a lot about him too. "You might be right about that," she offered him a kind smile. "Growing up I had to make myself scarce and that didn't really leave a lot of chances to do certain stuff. Guess I just got accustomed to it that now I don't really do much."

"Funny, I was completely human and that's why I missed out on a lot growing up."

"Like what?"

"Uh, you know, usual kid stuff. Boy stuff."

"Aahh." The smirk that came to Seren's face made Steve regret those words in a snap. "I see."

"No, no, not like tha—"

Seren started laughing. "I think so—"

"No! I just meant—"

Seren moved around, still laughing, "No, no, I think you meant exactly what you said."

"Seren!" Seren had a playful smile over her lips was far too cheeky for Steve's liking. "I think the sugar's getting to your head, you know."

"Maybe," she shrugged. "But it's also so pretty funny making fun at you. Not that I'm making fun of you for what you endured," she said pretty fast once she realized how her previous words could come across.

Steve knew that too and for that, he smiled. "I think I know you well enough to know that."

"Good. Because I really am sorry for that. What kind of things did you miss out on, for real this time?"

"Seren, I didn't cross an entire ocean to talk about my past with you." Steve didn't think his words through because the next thing that Seren said really threw him into a much more flustered state.

"So why did you cross an entire ocean then?" Seren had scooted closer to him on the couch. Her big green eyes were anxiously waiting for him to answer her question.

Oh God why did he have to go and say that? He meant it, yeah, but now he had to explain to her why he said it.

He looked Seren over in that God beautiful dress she was in. He swallowed hard as his eyes wandered down her fitted figure. She was absolutely gorgeous and she wasn't taken. How? "To see you," the words fell from his mouth in the easiest of ways, like it was meant to be said.

Seren approved of the answer. Her heart did a bit of fluttering. "You're here now. What do you want to do?"

"Uuh…" There was one thing that Steve thought about doing after a suggestion she made a couple months back. "I heard your songs," he said, puzzling her for a second until he added, "The ones that you recommended after you gave me the record player."

"Oh," she blinked and chuckled. "Right, right, you listened to them?"

Steve nodded. "Yeah, they were nice. It had a home feeling to them."

"I thought they would. Do you use the record player, then?"

"All the time," Steve said like a promise. Each time he used it, he thought of her and since she wasn't around, he thought about her a lot. "Your songs are the most played."

Seren chuckled. "Get out of here…"

"I'm serious!"

"No way—there are so many songs out there!"

"I always listen to them, Seren, I swear. Here!" He started digging into his back pocket and pulled out his phone.

"What are you doing?" Seren was still laughing as he searched for whatever he needed on his phone.

If he was being honest, Steve had no idea what he was doing. His fingers were doing the search quicker than what his brain could process. He ultimately silenced Seren when she heard Put Your Head on my Shoulder playing.

"I don't know if I should be impressed or not that you learned how to search for that pretty quickly…" Seren said and suddenly Steve was the one laughing.

He lowered his phone to the coffee table. "You sounded like Chloe…"

Seren narrowed her eyes at him. "Not on my birthday, you don't, Rogers." Steve put his hands up in front of him. Eventually, Seren let her sarcasm pass for the sake of the song in the air. "I do like this song…" she said sheepishly.

"Would you like to dance?" Steve asked before he even thought about it. Maybe it was something he'd been thinking about for a long time now and having her in front of him after so long was just too much to take. He stood up and held a hand out to her.

Seren knew very well that she would love nothing more than to dance with him. She nodded before she lost all courage. She took his hand and stood up, stepping back from the couch with him.

"I'm going to admit that I do not know how to dance very well." But Steve was sure that she had presumed that already. Still, she smiled like she was just learning it for the first time.

"I didn't learn how to dance until I was out of high school," she admitted. There weren't many moments to dance with someone growing up, not when she was so busy keeping herself hidden.

"Still younger than me," Steve's remark made her laugh. It brought them into a gentle sway of a dance. "And, you know, you actually had a chance."

Seren cocked her head. "If they were alive, those people would be kicking themselves for how they treated you. And if not, I would've kicked them." It was Steve's turn to laugh. "I'm not joking," Seren said. Her hands gripped his shoulders a little tighter. "It infuriates me that people were so mean to you."

"It was fine, Seren." In truth, Steve had grown used to it, not by choice but it was still a fact. "Some people are always going to be mean. I'm sure, unfortunately, that even though you were quiet as a mouse you still had someone picking on you." The answer was evident by the deep scowl that marked Seren's face.

"Valerie Jordan," she muttered. "She absolutely hated me and I never understood why. I was quiet, I literally barely spoke to anyone at school, but she just...she hated me. God, she never ran out of insults."

"Well, you don't have to think about that anymore, especially today." The last thing Steve wanted was for her to start remembering the darker moments of her past. He swayed her a bit more until she laughed again. That's what he wanted to see from her, it's what she deserved.

"I guess it's just better to focus on what's in front of you instead of what should be behind you," she said, eyes keenly locked with his.

"Exactly. And do you know what I see for you?"

"Hm, what?" Seren leaned her body against his in her attempt to be closer for when he spoke again.

"I see a good future for you, a successful one."

"So we're psychic now?"

Steve chuckled. "No, I just see clearly. Most of the time. And I knew, a while ago, that you were going to do big things." He had, at some point along his words, lowered his head beside hers so that his left cheek was resting over her head.

Seren felt a surge of heat rush over her face. He was far too close to her, or rather she'd done it without realizing it. Whoever was responsible hadn't thought it through but at the same time, it wasn't unwelcoming. It was fitting, actually, almost like they belonged in that position.

"I don't know how right you are…" Seren's voice was a low whisper. Her bravery was gone and suddenly she felt more exposed than she actually was. "I don't think the world was ready for someone like me, no matter how modern we are."

"They said no one was ready for me and it was the 40s. I still got off well…"

"You ended up frozen for decades, Steve. Call me a coward but I don't want that to happen to me." She may have squeezed his shoulders again. "That's my fear, you know. Being buried alive."

"I'd never let that happen to you." Steve wrapped his arms around her a little bit tighter. She felt it and along with it came some relief, as if knowing that she was absolutely safe with him around.

"You know when I was little, my biggest fear is what would happen to me if somebody found out what I was. Even when I was older, I always wondered what S.H.I.E.L.D. would do if it couldn't protect me." Seren was guilty to say that even now, the same thought still ran through her head every now and then. She was strong, and she had powers, but would she really be able to protect herself all the time?

"You're a star, Seren." Steve could feel Seren's smile against his shoulder. He had to pull away to see it up-close. "What does your grandmother call you?"

Seren flushed. "...star soul. It's a literal translation of my name. 'Seren' means star."

"A very accurate translation if you ask me. You're a star and if anyone says otherwise, they're wrong." Steve was aware that he was much too close to Seren to not be tempted. And boy was he tempted.

Seren watched him so fondly that she missed all the conflict Steve had going on. She loved hearing the compliments he'd been paying her in these past minutes. She wasn't much for attention but when it was coming from Steve, well...she loved it.

"You're a star," Steve said quietly. Suddenly the music seemed louder around them.

Seren had heard that specific line so many times she lost count but when Steve said, it had a whole new meaning to it. "Oh lovey, I almost believe you." The words left her lips before her brain could catch up.

Steve immediately remembered the few times she had used that pet name. Each time she said it, it didn't even appear like she realized it. Did it come automatically for her? He never heard her use it with anyone else, just him. Why me? The possible answer made his heart leap with hope. And courage. A quick surge of hope pushed him to do what he'd been tempted to for the past endless minutes.

"Believe me then," he said then pressed his lips on hers.

Even though it came as a surprise for Seren, she fell so easily. It wasn't like she hadn't thought about it. She was guilty of thinking about it for a while now and tonight she realized that those thoughts paled to what it actually felt like. Dozens of butterflies fluttered in her stomach as Steve slipped his hand around the back of her neck to cradle her head exactly how he needed to. He would never tell her that while her height difference was frankly adorable, it left some maneuvering to do. He didn't mind; it seemed like for the first time he knew exactly what to do. He had Seren Soul, his literal star, in his arms. Nothing could be better than this.

But suddenly, the music stopped and instead the sound of Steve's phone buzzing filled the room.

They broke apart, dazed and confused — and perhaps a bit frightened in the beginning — until they connected the dots. A phone was ringing. As soon as Steve let her go, Seren missed his warmth.

Steve turned to where he'd left his phone and picked it up. "Natasha." He would absolutely get her for this one.

"You should take it," Seren said, awkwardly folding her arms over her chest. She was finally realizing what had just happened. "It could be important."

"You're important," Steve was quick to say and with all the meaning behind it too.

"Work is too." Seren smiled lightly, though somewhat sadly. There was something she wasn't saying and Steve felt like he honestly wasn't going to like it.

He turned his phone off and stuffed it into his back pocket. He was making it clear that whatever Seren wanted to say, she should say it now. He was giving her his undivided attention. "What is it?" he asked her.

Seren was reluctant to speak at first. She had just had possibly the best moment of her life and she was about to ruin it, and much worse she was about to hurt Steve. "You're important. You're so important—to the world and...me." She was promising herself at that moment that whatever she would say wouldn't hide her feelings. At this point, after a kiss like that, there was just no point in denying it anymore. "You're actually a bit intimidating." Her last minute admission prompted a light chuckle from Steve.

"Seriously?" he raised an eyebrow at her.

Seren nodded her head. Her arms dropped to her sides as she went on to explain. "You fought in a world war. You're everywhere in the history books. You fought, along with your friends, so that people like me—everyone—could live the way we do now. You're so important to the world, don't ever think you're not."

"As much as I thank you for those words, I have to confess that none of it really matters as much as it would to know what you think of me." Steve came up to her and stopped her body from turning away. Why couldn't she look at him all of a sudden?

"I already said it," she whispered. "Of course you're important to me. I have no idea when the hell you did this to me."

"I'm sensing a 'but' coming along here…" And it terrified him.

Seren finally gathered the courage to raise her head and meet his gaze. "But where we are right now...what we're doing...it's not a good idea."

"What do you mean?" Steve was utterly confused. He could see the pain flashing across Seren's eyes, a tell that she wanted nothing but the opposite of what she had just said. So why was she denying them the opportunity of being together?

Seren sighed heavily and moved around him. As he turned after her, she made it to the table against the wall. She picked up a slip of paper—a plane ticket—and turned back to him. "I'm going to France next week. Rebeca said that they're really interested now in what I'm doing here. Once I'm done here...it's more than likely that I'll be moving to France after. I'll be doing this all over again."

Steve didn't have the words at that moment. He was trying to quickly process everything Seren had just said. Moving? Again? Without knowing it, he was feeling the same ache in his heart as Seren was.

"Work is important," Seren went back to her previous words. She left the ticket back in its place and walked back. "If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll be ranking up top at S.H.I.E.L.D. That means more missions, long-term missions, and that'll lead to less opportunities to video call anyone, especially someone around the world." The more she thought about those potential missed calls, the harder it was to control her tears. "I don't want to put myself in a situation where I want you but I can't have you. I'm sure that you wouldn't want that type of relationship either."

No, no he wouldn't. It was painful enough going through that with Peggy and right now he was a lot closer with Seren and yet it didn't seem to be enough. She was right—she was around the world and he was doing his own missions on the other side.

"Steve," Seren reached for his hand and squeezed it. "I do want you. I want to be able to hold your hand like this, I want to talk with you every day, go on dates with you. God, I would really like to go on a date with you." She had to blink rapidly to avoid letting any tears get loose. "I want to do all the stuff I didn't get to do before."

"I want that too." Steve used their interlocked hands to tug her closer to him. He had no idea what to do for a date in the modern world but he had no doubt that whatever he'd come up with, Seren would flash him one of those soft smiles at him and tell him that he did just fine. He kissed her curled hair and rested his cheek over her head for a moment. "I understand what you're saying, Seren. I promise I do. I'd never want to force you into anything."

Seren hugged him tightly and, because he couldn't see her face at that moment, a few tears rolled down her face. "It just wouldn't be fair either of us. I don't want you to wait for me either."

"Seren—"

"No, Steve," she pulled away to meet his face, forgetting the stains of tears on her cheeks. "That's not fair to you." As much as it pained her to imagine him meeting someone else, she had to be fair and reasonable. "You're going home in a few days and you have every right to move forwards. You need to discover this new world, figure out what you want to do and what you will do. I've told you to do this from the day we met. Don't get stuck in the past."

The story of his life.

When would things actually work out for him? Before he said anything, Seren let him go and sat on the couch.

"I don't know how long I'll be away from home," she said. "It can be years. You can't waste your life waiting for someone who might never come home. I heard that can be a bitch."

Steve came over and sat down beside her. "Yeah," he solemnly agreed. It seemed like fate always wanted to hurt him in some kind of way.

Seren let out one long sigh. "The thing about S.H.I.E.L.D. and all this stuff is that...you don't really get to plan that far out. It never really bothered me before but...now I get it. You live in D.C. now. Who's to say that they won't have you relocate for a while? That's how Chloe started, you know. She lived in Arizona for a while and then they moved her to Florida. And then before I knew it, she was going all over the world."

"I wouldn't let that happen," Steve said firmly but Seren knew that if the situation really called for it, he would get up and leave. It was who he was and that's probably one of the reasons why she wanted to be with him. He was as committed to the job as much as she was.

"Yeah, you would," she said quietly, once again reaching for one of his hands between them. "Because you wouldn't be you if you didn't. I like you, I really do, but we can't act on it. At least not right now. You know we can't, right?"

"...yeah," Steve nodded. He squeezed her hand around his. He was unable to bring himself to look at her right now. It was like she said, he wanted her but he couldn't have her and that was the worst pain he ever felt in his life. The punches she gave him when she was brainwashed hurt way less than this.

He was afraid that Time might get in the way again and he might possibly never have her.

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disaster-bi-shan · 1 year

Text

i did this whole ramble about trans/gnc companion hcs to joel and mort but i will not subject you all to walls of text (unless people really do want me to lol, i even managed to talk myself into hcing some that i never knew i thought worked until now like scourge) HOWEVER i will say i am wholeheartedly a transfemme dorne truther

she's the most autie transfemme to ever femme ive seen in my entire life

this also reminds me to continue my ds trooper playthrough sometime (and maybe remake turaa as a palette cleanser and romance her again, hc'ing again as queerplatonic)

others include transfemme jaesa, kira, and lana, butch vette and akaavi, transmasculine/butch risha, then transmasc koth, andronikos and felix. maybe she/her transmasc mako

also theron's gender being guy but slightly left of that is funny to me like 'idk just work here' transmasc and/or genderqueer edition

super special addition of transfeminine scourge making a late realization way after breaking control from the emperor and losing the attached immortality, and the same with arcann even tho these some of these characters i don't really think about much, i just think they're neat

#ramblings #please don't come for me lol im just having a fun time in my little corner of the sandpit

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everymanpdf · 2 years

Text

Zulaykha Abu-Risha and Etel Adnan, from The Poetry of Arab Women, edited by Nathalie Handal

#death

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viennen · 7 months

Text

Catching Up

This was initially written on Discord with @tiredassmage, whom the lovable idiot Leo belongs to. This is the final edited version. Happy Reading!

Liv and Leo haven't seen each other since before Leo got sent to Bergeren as a punishment by Vorza for embarrassing him on an earlier mission. This was about 5-6 years ago, shortly before Liv entered the Imperial Academy. They also haven't talked to each other in that long, save for the occasional letter, while Leo was on Begeren.

Now, she is working for Intelligence and has just received her own ship. She decides to take a risk and contacts her brother via Holo.

*******************

Olivia Ashold, newly designated Cipher Nine, made her way to the Holo terminal on the bridge of her new X-70B Phantom. She quickly made sure that any recording devices active on the ship, if there were any, were momentarily deactivated, and would not trace or record her next holo call. She then entered the encryption code before entering the designation of the ship she wanted to contact. She was alone on the bridge, hoping that her new 'friend' Kaliyo and her new protocol droid didn't come snooping too much at the moment. The last thing she needed right now was for either of them to know she was contacting a Republic ship. She waits patiently for the call to go through.

Meanwhile, on The Daredevil, Leo and Risha were on the bridge, and Risha saw that there was a holo call coming through.

“My, my, seems I've made a popular friend in you, Captain,” Risha stated. Leo frowned and raised a brow at Risha as she eyed the holo. “You've got a call coming in. Seems it's... encrypted. Can't say I recognize the pattern, either.” she stated.

“Encrypted?” Leo's frown set a bit further as he hauled himself out of his seat. “Let me take a look.” Getting hailed wasn't what drew his attention so much as the encryption. Very few people generally bothered with such security measures, at least with him, so that narrowed down the potential suspects rather dramatically. Leo typed some buttons on the console to bring up the encryption, and almost immediately realized why Risha didn’t recognize it. She wouldn’t, or rather, couldn’t, be able to break it, at least not without some serious help. He had created it with someone from his past, specially designed to be unbreakable, as much as one could be, at least. It was one of the only things he had ever been grateful about his family’s wealth for: giving them enough free time to work on the encryption code.

“I'll handle this one,” he says, hoping she doesn’t try to decrypt it.

“Oh?” Risha asks, raising an inquiring brow at him. He gruffly waved a hand at her.

“It's just an old business partner, don't get your pants twisted,” he muttered, not wanting anyone to know about this just yet. They may be his crew, but he didn’t trust them enough yet. Risha rolled her eyes.

“You're the one barking about trust, Captain,” she stated, referencing their earlier conversations.

“Some of us prefer to keep our client's wishes,” Leo counters with a slight bow. “So, please? If you don’t mind? I’d like some privacy for this one.” he asked.

“I’m not babysitting,” she said with a dismissive shrug of one shoulder as she turned to clear from the bridge.

“Captain?” He heard Corso inquire from the hall.

“Busy, kid!” Leo called back. “Go uh…” He shook his head. What would keep the kid busy long enough? “Recheck the cargo for me, would you? I need a while for a call,” he asked, unsure what else might occupy the kid long enough for the call.

“Thought you already did?” Corso called back, unsure why Leo was asking him to check it again.

“Corso,” Leo groaned and levelled a pointed stare at him. “Please? Pick something and entertain yourself, alright? I’ll come find you when I’m done and make sure you’re all acquainted, yea?” he asked, hoping Corso would take the hint.

“Alright,” Corso said, holding up placating hands. “Whatever, just holler if you need me,” he said, then started walking away.

“Mmmhmm,” Leo hummed. He waited until Corso was down the hall before he finally turned back to answer the call. There was only one person this encryption could be coming from.

And for everything that had just gone sideways on Ord Mantell, it put a lopsided smile on his face. “Long time, no holo, stranger,” he teased as his sister appeared. “I’d almost thought you’d forgotten about me.”

“It’s good to see you too, Leo,” Liv stated. “I see you’ve dropped your accent,” she commented. “Or at least changed it.” It was a piece of advice she had given him when they were first talking about and planning his eventual defection. If anyone else was listening, hers was obvious. She was happy to see he had followed at least some of her advice. “And how could I possibly forget about you? I’m the only one in the family you still talk to.” Liv playfully asked her brother.

“Hey, I don't ignore all advice by default,” Leo fired back about the accent as he leaned back in his seat. He flashed an amused smile. “There are benefits to being half a galaxy away,” he said. “Though I'm sure Father could still raise his voice enough to be heard,” he huffed. But that wasn't of interest. The rest of the lot could stuff their annoyance.

“Well, it's not like it's easy to make an encrypted holo call during Intelligence training. Everything you do is watched. Granted, doing that is part of training, but I'm not gonna risk calling you for that. I don't need to get you arrested again.” Liv stated, referencing some of the trouble the two of them had gotten into when they were teens.

“Oi,” Leo mocked offence, laying a hand over his chest. “I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself!” he protested. They. . . didn't need to go over that 'taking care of himself' had involved... going into debt with the Black Sun and getting roped into their smuggling operations. And 'I'm perfectly capable of getting myself arrested' had flown way better in his head. Even if it was true.

“Well, then, since you're callin' me, I take it everything worked out,” he said instead. He was glad she'd found something, at least, even if it was Intelligence and... the ever-present risk he'd never hear from her again. “Guess all that sneakin' out when we were kids paid off for something, huh?” he teased, recalling some of their adventures.

“It would seem so,” Liv replied. “And you're definitely right about Father,” Liv replied. Their father, Vorza Ashold, could make himself heard whenever and wherever he wanted to be. The only time he didn't try it was when someone with a higher rank or status than him was present. “And I know you can take care of yourself, Leo, but I'd rather not accidentally give the Imperial Death Squads your location, regardless of how good you are,” she explained. “I need someone to complain to about Father.” she said amusingly. Leo's expression softened briefly as Liv explained. She... gave him too much credit. Even now.

“Technically, you're already complaining to a dead man,” he said. Dash's story had held up with the Republic brass, and his SIS contacts had come through, in addition to Liv's vigilance... if the lack of Imperial Death Squads were anything to go by. “Still, I appreciate the thought.”

“You're welcome,” Liv said. “And anyway,” she began, “complaining about Father wasn't the only reason I called,” she stated, changing the subject. Leo smiled lightly when she opted to change the subject. A change of subject away from family matters was always a good move in his books.

“I'd sure hope not. What if I'd been having a perfectly good day?” he teased. Their father had always been particularly talented at ruining those. Generally, with his mere presence in a room. He couldn't quite say he remembered the last time he remembered that bastard genuinely smiling at any of them. Or maybe he was just bitter. Leo paused for a moment to think about it.

Their Father was definitely bitter. But it probably wasn't just that. Asshole.

“I've got my own ship now,” Liv said, pulling Leo out of his trance about why he hated their Father, and pressed some keys, so the holo changed from her, to showing Leo the Phantom.

“Well, look at that neat little thing.” He eyed the overview of the Phantom on her holo. “Slick ride. Guess you Intel types get all the fancy toys, don’t ya?” The beast looked more like it’d be at home among some noble elite than in a firefight, but appearances were deceptive - particularly with spies. Fitting, he supposed. “Unless you’re plannin’ on starting your own ‘shipping’ business. Didn’t happen to call me fishin’ for tips, did you?” he teased.

“Unfortunately not.” Liv teased back. She changed the holo back to her from the Phantom. “And, thank you,” she said a moment later about his comment on her ship. “It kind of reminds me of the shuttles we used to take between Ziost and Dromund Kaas,” she commented, remembering the times they would travel for some family function with their aunts, uncles, and cousins, or some corporate thing that their parents had to go to, and for whatever reason had decided to bring the kids. “Just with better firepower,” she stated.

“Well, you know who to call if you ever change your mind about the biz’,” Leo jested with a playful smirk and a light toss of his head. He puffed out a breath briefly as his bangs fell across his eyes. If he’d pull it back better, it probably wouldn’t nearly be as much of a pain, but nah. He shoved the errant lock back behind his ear.

Liv smiled in reply to his comment, then paused a moment, deciding how to answer his other remark. “I’m well aware that technically, you’re dead, Leo,” she began, “It’s the first thing Father says if and when anyone asks about you,” she explained. As far as Liv knew, she was the only family member who knew that Leo was still alive. “But if you’re caught in Imperial Space, I’m fairly certain they’ll shoot you on sight as soon as anyone recognizes you,” she stated. “Or arrest you, then shoot you.” she added, “Then I’ll have no one to talk to,” Liv said, a hint of sadness in her tone, but it quickly faded. “Well, I guess I could talk to Kaliyo,” she stated, more to herself than Leo, “But she doesn’t know about you or Father, so that would be an interesting conversation to start with.” she finished. “Not sure what she’d think of it, though.” she added. She was quiet for a few moments as she thought about how that conversation might go. She paused over how to continue the covnersation.

“Intelligence has been . . . interesting, to say the least,” she stated. There was a few moments of silence, as neither of them said anything. Leo’s features twisted briefly in mild annoyance again. Of course, Father would've been all too pleased he was dead. He'd told Dash not to worry about that part. He'd already been a nuisance in the old bastard's backside for some twenty-odd years. It was easier for him to be dead than to have to deal with the disappointment of a son who was insubordinate to him and his military superiors.

And Liv didn't need to know how many close calls there'd been on his jobs with the Black Sun. Nor that he'd. . . incidentally pissed off Rogun the Butcher, it seemed. Not yet, anyway. The frown that'd started on his lips because of their father lingered for a moment longer as he considered his sister was a spy now. Call it protective older brother instincts. Or just. . . She didn't need to worry about his problems.

“Kaliyo?” he asked, curiously tilting his head. That’d be easier to talk about than any of his worries, though it did little to soothe the pang of anxiety that twisted through his stomach when she called it interesting. He supposed that was about all it could be called, all. . . secretive and that, but. “Liv,” he said quietly. She didn't need him to protect her. She was probably way better at that herself than he'd be now, anyway. But he was her brother. “Just uh... You're takin' care of yourself, right? It's... a lot. I... wouldn't know, of course, but…” I worry about you. He hoped that much went unsaid.

Liv laughed lightly as Leo’s hair fell across his face, before he fixed it. “Need some styling tips?” she teased, before answering his question. Leo snorted in reply. “Kaliyo’s. . .” she paused for a moment, deciding how to describe her new shipmate, “a friend, that I made, on a mission on Hutta.” She stated. She'd heard what Leo hadn’t actually said, and was grateful for it. He was her big brother, after all; he would always be that, and the only one of her siblings she had ever really gotten along with. “Yes, I’m taking care of myself. As best I can anyway. . .” Liv trailed off momentarily, “And I know you do; I’d be surprised if you didn’t.” she said, answering his unsaid statement. I worry about me too sometimes, she thought to herself, as she thought about what to tell him, and what she could say to him about what had all happened to her in recent weeks. She knew the channel was secure, but others could still be listening.

“Cute,” he said, briefly sticking out his tongue. This was one of the few things that could make his chest ache with a mostly unfamiliar feeling - something like nostalgia. The life he'd made in Republic space wasn't exactly classy, and it was far from easy more often than not, but it was free. Freer than he'd ever been on Ziost or in Imperial uniform, at any rate. It just did little to lessen the blow that he'd left the one person that'd ever bothered to understand him, behind. He tried not to linger too often on if he should've tried harder or done more - snuck her out with him somehow like they had when they were kids, but... Maybe it wasn't his place, anyway. Liv was a big girl now. She made her own life. At least he could be thankful for that much.

Hutta, though? Leo made a noise of distaste.

“There are far better cantinas, I promise.” But of course, a fair drink would be the smallest problem of an agent of the Empire. Or Hutts. At least you could swindle an average Hutt for some credits. Liv stuck her tongue out back at him. It may be childish, but it was fun. And she missed her brother, so she would take whatever she could.

“The last few weeks, have certainly been . . . eventful, just months out of training,” Liv stated. “I’ve somewhat convinced a Hutt to side with the Empire, got praised by a Sith Lord for what happened with that, and had to deal with some terrorists.” she explained, not sure if Leo knew anything about Darth Jadus or not. “It’s certainly better than whatever Father would have had me doing.” she added, not really knowing what he would have her doing as a job, if anything.

This time, Leo couldn’t mask the concerned frown. “Emperor’s tits, Liv…” He could reconsider if the man had those at some other time. Terrorists? He ran a hand along his jaw contemplatively. “I’d heard some chatter about travel restrictions gettin’ tight further in, but hell...” Sith spats were nothing new, sure, but that?

“ ‘Interesting’s’... one helluva word for it,” he said. Perhaps there was one thing him and the old man might've agreed on: Intelligence was dangerous. A bunch of spooks. Probably half of 'em had heard ghost stories in the military about their recruitment, but... it was. Different. To hear it first-hand. He shook his head. “The Empire in business with the Hutt Cartel though... Can't say I'm entirely surprised. Gotta get all those credits from somewhere, I suppose.”

“It's only one Hutt for now, but you're not wrong.” Liv replied, knowing that dealing with Hutts wasn't always the best idea. But she also knew that if they hadn't gotten Nem'ro's help via stealth and espionage, they wouldn't have gotten the Hutts help at all, because she also knew that the Hutts could withstand an Imperial planetary assault for quite some time, if the Empire actually decided to attack them.

Leo hummed in acknowledgement. Even dealing with the Cartel as a whole “officially” was a bit of a dice-throw when it came to honouring agreements. They weren't particularly cohesive at times, either, though their power plays tended to involve less Force Lightning. Generally, at any rate.

“One small step or all that,” he muttered. Besides, if it was resources they were after, he doubted the Empire would want to 'sully their hands' in something as base as a war with the Cartel. He doubted it'd be so ‘civilized’ enough for their tastes.

They both paused for a moment; then Liv smiled at his jest about Hutta’s cantina.

“Perhaps you can take me to some of them in future.” she said, momentarily changing the subject and teasing at his 'better cantinas' comment.

“Perhaps,” he mused elusively with a light smirk. Of course, he would in a heartbeat, given the opportunity. “Maybe something out in the Rim territories…” It was an almost wishful musing that drifted through his eyes for a moment. It'd be nice to see her again - and not just through the holo-processors. It'd... been years, at this point, hadn't it? “So long as ya don't mind some bolt holes in the walls. A good cantina brawl's good for the soul sometimes.” Or at least maybe some free drinks. If you could keep your fingers in the process.

They were both silent for a few moments, before Liv spoke, changing the subject back to what it had been before.

“Well, you can thank the terrorists for the restrictions.” among other things, she thought as she looked over at her navicomputer, with the coordinates set for Korriban, so she could go see Jadus' daughter. She thought about Leo’s comment, calling Intelligence 'interesting.’

“And do you have a better word for it?” she asked, then realized there had been a touch of bite in that comment. “Sorry,” she said quickly, before Leo could reply. “I didn't mean for that to sound so . . cross.” Leo didn't flinch from the sharpness in her response, though his eyes dropped briefly.

“No, I suppose I don't,” he agreed. But he shook his head at her apology. “Don't worry about it. It's nothin'.” Except... his sister fighting terrorists of the Empire was... a lot. He almost didn't want to think about it, and he almost didn't want to know. At least then, he couldn't be too much more of an added risk for her. “C'mon, kid, you know it takes more than a few sharp words to take me on by now, don't ya?” A bit of bluster to try to keep the mood lighter - and keep himself from worrying too much about her, far out of his control and any meaningful ways to support or protect her anymore.

Liv smiled lightly at his jest to lighten the mood. “I’m well aware of what taking you on requires, Leo.” she said playfully, “Or at least I used to.” She said, then paused for a moment, musing over his cantina offer. She really did miss him, and she had lost count of how long it had actually been since she had seen her brother in person. “I don’t mind a bar brawl every now and then; I’m sure Kaliyo would have some fun, too.” she teased at his suggestion. “Have anywhere particular in mind?” she asked, wondering what his answer would be. “Not many places neutral enough that they don’t really care if Republic and Imperial are seen talking to each other,” she added. She thought about his comment for a moment. “You’re right, though; Rim’s probably a better place for us to meet right now. Most of it is Hutt controlled, and as far as I know, most Hutts won’t do anything about being told by either side that there’s a possible traitor on their planet without some sort of incentive.” she stated, trying to make sure that wherever they met wouldn’t get him accidentally recognized and killed on sight.

Leo mulled over the question for a moment, twisting a stray loose lock of hair around his fingers. “Rishi’s a bit out of the way,” he said, “Ain’t nothin’ there but a bunch of pirates and smugglin’ types.” A wry smile briefly drifts across his lips. “I could probably even make some money off the trip.”

Aside from that? He frowned thoughtfully as he leaned back in his seat. He'd consider Nar Shadaa, given its distinct lack of direct alliance with either side, but even he already knew both galactic powers had interests moving around on there. It was a haven for the kind he associated with these days - gunslingers, mercenaries, thieves, gangs, and smugglers, but the lack of official rules aside from no disrupting the Cartel's business was as much a boon as it was a potential loophole for their enemies. “I'd consider Nar Shadaa. I've got a few uh... deliveries I need to make there soon, anyway,” he offered the thought anyway. “Cartel doesn't like fights on its turf, and there's a few boltholes there off the more beaten path.” he stated. Liv mentally debated with herself for a moment about what to say first. She’d answer his question, but she decided she needed to say something else first.

“I . .” she hesitated, “I miss you, Leo,” she said, the sincerity obvious and clear. “But I'm doing what I said I would when you left,” she stated. “Trying to 'break' some things from inside, before I come join you. And Intelligence seemed the best place to do that.” she explained. Her only other options for a job, or life, were joining the military, or going home to their Father and waiting for him to marry her off to some other aristocratic ass. Their elder sister Vivian might be fine with that and adore all the extra status and praise that went with it, but Liv didn't. She hated the idea of someone else almost completely dictating her life. That was part of why she had wanted to go with Leo when they were talking about him leaving the Empire, but they knew how much trouble it would cause if just one of them left; it would have been much worse if they both had.

The smile Leo offered next was tinged with more regret than he'd probably like to admit. “I miss you, too, kid.” They weren't more than a couple of years apart, but... It was hard not to feel responsible for her, given everything they'd gotten into together. He nodded along to what she said - still planning to run off with him one last time. “I'm…” He cleared his throat as his gaze dropped for a moment, unsure how to say... Maybe even if he should. “I'm proud of you, Liv. I... know what it means to you.” And I'm sorry I didn't take you with me. Not that he could've... Not without a helluva lot more planning. Hell, he'd barely intended to leave when he did, or exactly in that way.

Dash had just been... too good an opportunity at the right time. And he barely deserved that, either. “I'd like to think I know a thing or two 'bout disappearing these days... Maybe still not as good as you, though."

Liv smiled lightly when Leo said that he missed her too. She knew it wasn't something that was easy for him to admit. It brightened a little more when he said he was proud of her. “Thanks, Leo,” she stated. “Not sure I'd get that from anyone else,” she added, knowing she was probably right. Leo was the only one of her siblings that she had ever really felt close to. When they were kids, there had been times when he had told her to stay home, even though there wasn't much of an age difference between them. He knew she didn't always listen, but he never complained when she suddenly decided to join him during many of his 'expeditions' that Father still didn't know about. There had even been times when Leo had asked her to tag along.

Her relationships with her other siblings, . . . weren't the best. Vivian was always trying to keep Liv away from Leo and his 'bad influences,' trying to turn her into some form of acceptable 'Lady,' but Liv usually managed to sneak away and get out of her 'etiquette' lessons. Lysander was always asking Leo if he could help him with whatever job their father had given him, and even when Leo didn't want to, their mother was usually able to convince him to do it, because Xander was the baby, and mom gave him everything he wanted. Being the only other girl, Liv had been able to convince her father to let her have a lot of things that she had wanted, at least when she was younger. When it had started to become more obvious that she wanted to do something else, Father had started paying closer attention to her activities, and it became harder for her to sneak away.

If Leo had one regret, it was that he hadn't ever quite been wild enough to deck their father on the jaw. Oh, he'd thought about it plenty - and certainly still did. But for all that talk of family, the man had always been shit about seeing the real one right in front of him. There was... a reason Leo had tuned out most of his droning history lessons - at home and in school. What good was a legacy if you never lived in the moment of it?

“Their loss,” he said mildly. There was a time when he would've given everything to have their father's eye - much as Xander had. But it'd never been good enough, and Leo had grown tired of the charades of being something he wasn't.

She thought about his comment about her being better at knowing how to disappear. She laughed. “Well, maybe I can give you some tips when I see you.” she teased. “So long as you tell me how you've managed to stay out of trouble,” she added. “Even I know smuggling isn't always a one-sided faction," she stated.

“As for which planet . . .” she trailed for a moment, thinking. “I'm good either way,” she stated. “Haven't been to Nar Shadaa in a while, and I've never actually been to Rishi, just heard stories. . .” she explained. “If it's just pirates and smugglers, I'm sure I can find a way to blend in if I need to,” she stated, smiling at the idea of seeing Leo in person.

She paused for a moment, thinking of anything else she needed or wanted to say. "Since it's been so long since I've seen you, is there anyone, or anything else I should know about?" She asked. She hadn't seen him since before he defected, so she knew that she didn't know as much about her brother as she used to.

Leo shrugged a shoulder. “You tell me where.” And he'd make it happen, even if he had to remap hyperlanes to pull it off. Anything for her. “I suppose I... might have better luck offloading the crew on Nar Shadaa,” he mused with a glance over his shoulder. The hall was still blessedly silent. “I... picked up some... kid on Ord Mantell. He seems... alright.” A little too naive for Leo's taste and a little more friendly than Leo was yet willing to be. “And I've got some... business partner that's arranged a few jobs - that's the cargo I'm haulin' for now. She mentioned Nar Shadaa's already on our stops. I won't have to come up with too big a reason to slip off there for a while, I suppose.” Even if he had trusted more easily, he hadn't seen Liv in years, and he wasn't ready to rehash the whole story for people he'd all but just met.

As for how he'd stayed out of trouble? A lot of dumb luck, he reckoned. "C'mon, Liv, you know 'trouble's my middle name," he said instead. "If you can't beat 'em, be faster than 'em." Or... something like that.

His gaze dropped rather than admit it: he was in... a lot of trouble, actually. Nothing... exactly new, but. Rogun was... a bit bigger than his usual 'smart-mouthed the wrong person' deal. And less likely to conveniently forget his dues.

“I am well aware of your relationship with trouble, Leo. There’s at least half a dozen things we did that I'm pretty sure Father still doesn't know about,” she stated knowingly. She paused a moment. “ But I agree with you there,” Liv replied. Like Leo, there used to be times when she got along with her other siblings, but that had changed as she had gotten older. “I still get holo calls from Viv sometimes, almost begging me to leave where I am and come home. That if I did, I'd have a better life. . .” Liv trailed off. “Only Vivian would think that kind of life is better,” she stated. She didn't need to elaborate; she knew Leo would understand what she meant.

Leo snorted, leaning against an elbow as he idly toyed with the fit of his gloves. “Viv's never wanted for a damn thing,” he muttered. Daddy's perfect little princess, that one, and their mother's utter pride and joy. She'd always been 'too good' for him, and she had been one of the many standards against which Leo had been judged for obedience and performance. Viv was polite and knew her place and had listened to their tutors and- He rolled his eyes. “She'd break a precious nail if she ever left that lap of luxury.”

Liv laughed, agreeing with Leo's statements. “I agree with you there. Viv wouldn't last a day out here, not without some sort of help,” she stated. She smiled as she listened to Leo's explanation about his new crew. “Look at you making friends,” Liv stated, almost sounding sarcastic, but, really, she was happy Leo at least had someone to look out for him. “And, I'm good with either one. I'm sure Kaliyo will be able to find something to occupy herself,” she replied. “If you want to do Nar Shadaa, I can meet you there; just give me a location. Rishi, I may need some more instructions, having never been there.” she explained.

She knew Kaliyo would want to come with her, to make sure who she was going to talk to didn't pull anything on her, but she also hadn't told her anything about her family before Intelligence. Until she did or needed to, she wasn't sure how Kaliyo would react to Leo. And if, on the off chance, they did get caught, Leo would be in more trouble than she would. If whoever caught them, didn't know who they were, she could claim undercover. She didn't know what Leo could do to get out, depending on which side caught them.

Leo squinted at Liv with a mild frown at her comment. “Yea, yea, laugh it up,” he muttered with a shake of his head. 'Friends' weren't exactly easy for him to make these days. It'd been a lot simpler sneaking around with the other cadets from Basics, getting into tussles and snowball fights and daring each other to spraypaint the CO's speeder. But they'd been younger and... 'freer' wasn't exactly it, but... They hadn't had to have it all figured out yet. They hadn't been on the front lines.

They hadn't lost anyone yet.

“I'm only teasing,” Liv stated. “Aren't I allowed to tease you about your friends?” She asked, sounding a little sarcastic. She paused a moment. “Honestly, Leo, I'm just glad you've made friends. I wasn't sure if you'd find any, after . . . everything that happened, that last mission, before Bergeren.” She explained, knowing Leo would understand what she meant. She had still been at home when they had gotten the news of Leo's ‘death’ during a prisoner riot on Bergeren. Liv learned later that he wasn’t dead, as he’d found a way to contact her. She’s been able to hide it from the rest of her family. She listened to Leo talk some more about his new crew to get her mind off those memories.

“The kid's... alright, I guess. Name's Corso,” he relented. “I... might have given him a bit of a hard time.” Leo rubbed at the back of his neck. “My associate's got some deal with one of the Hutts, I think. She can finalize that and... let's say the Promenade?” Easy enough to get lost in the crowds there. “Slippery Slopes cantina's a popular little bolthole there.”

“You giving people and friends a hard time is nothing new,” Liv replied. “Just don't be so hard that you drive them away.” She added. She thought about what she remembered about Nar Shadaa. “Think I remember where the place is.” She stated when he mentioned the cantina.

Leo tried to smile, but it ended up more strained than he'd like. He'd always been a shit liar to people he actually cared about, and if Risha could hear about what went down on Ord, it'd be no problem for an Intelligence agent.

Liv looked concerned when she saw his strained smile. “Leo, what is it?” she asked, then listened to what he said.

“Look, Liv, I... don't want you to worry.” Always a great start. “But I'm uh... My last job didn't go so well. I'm workin' on clearin' it, but... it might come up, if we're out. I play out these next deals right though; everything should work out. Just... thought you should know before... in case, y'know…” Right. That was convincing.

“You always did know how to get into the worst situations,” she stated. “But I'm glad you told me beforehand,” she added. “Want me to look anything up?” she offered.

Leo shook his head and puffed out a chuckle. “What else are siblings for?” he jested. To love despite your flaws, even if you still gave them shit about it. That's what Liv had always been good at.

Liv smiled at his comment. “Who else is going to call you out on stupid things? And complain about other family members?” she added.

Leo rolled his eyes. “That's my job, y'know?” To complain. To be a nuisance. To just as likely be the reason the rest of the family was complaining. Perhaps not as much now, if they'd taken the story that he'd probably been killed, but still.

“I know it's your job, Leo.” Liv began, “But who's gonna call you out on that stuff? You gonna do it yourself?” she teased. She knew Leo had always been the troublemaker in the family; gods knew Father scolded him for it enough when they were younger. She knew he still complained about him, or at least when she had last seen him, he had been. She hadn't seen or talked to their father in some time. But that was a matter for another day.

“Nonsense,” Leo muttered, nose screwing up briefly. He narrowly resisted the urge to stick his tongue out at her again. They both knew if Leo was better at calling himself out... Well, no. He might be just as prone to trouble. Or maybe he'd avoid some of it. Neither here nor there, though.

“Nonsense, really?” Liv replied, sarcastically, her tone playful. She missed the banter with Leo. Sometimes it was the only fun thing she did when they were both still at home.

But any facade of Leo smiling cracked at Liv's concern. She'd been one of the few who'd ever cared enough to come close to cutting down to his core like that. “Half of this one, at least, wasn't my fault. At least half,” he said half-heartedly. “Some... bastard at pickup double-crossed me.” And stole his ship for a while. But, Details.

Tempting to have her aide, though... Skavak couldn't outrun him and Intelligence forever, right? “The snake's name is Skavak,” he offered. “Mind he doesn't steal whatever ain't bolted down, if you ever run into him.” He shook his head. “I uh... owe a bit of a big timer based on what he stole, so... if I can find him, I can probably work the rest of this out.”

She saw his smile falter and gave a lightly concerned look while she waited for his reply. “Can't say I recognize the name,” she began, when he explained about Skavak. “But I'll let you know if I find anything in the database,” she promised. “And thanks for the warning,” she added.

He grunted. “Lucky you,” he commented. “Hopefully, it'll stay that way. Spare yourself some trouble.” Skavak was just a nuisance; he'd seen plenty of his big-mouthed type even in his relatively short stint as a smuggler so far. It was Rogun he'd be concerned about, but he was... hoping that issue wouldn't be quite as big. Yet. At least. Leo scratched at the back of his neck. “It's... the boss of the job he stole cargo from that I'm... more worried about. Some big-shot 'Rogun the Butcher' or some such.” He shrugged a shoulder, trying to play that off lighter than it... probably was.

“Is he that bad?” Liv asked, at his comment about her being lucky that she didn’t know this person. She listened as he talked about the other name. “I'll see if I can find anything on either one. If I do, I'll let you know.”

“Trust me,” he puffed out a breath, “I've yet to find anyone who was really happy dealin' with the bastard.” Corso didn't really count. In hindsight, the kid had ceded that he wasn't the most trustworthy snake in the grass, and he was... a little naive if Leo was gonna be honest. “'Preciate it, though.”

“Interesting,” she stated about his comment about people working for Skavak. “Not a problem,” she replied.

As for the matter of 'friends'... His teeth sank into the inside of his lip and fought the urge - unsuccessfully - to let his gaze drop again, left hand rubbing up his right arm. “Yeah, uh. . . Begeren . . .That was. . . something.” he sighed. The turnaround between those last two deployments had been tight, and kolto could only do so much to ease the scarring. He'd... tried to settle back in when they'd shipped him out to Begeren, but losing almost an entire unit... That changed you.

Just don't be so hard that you drive them away. Advice he was still having a hard time taking. “Well.” He cleared his throat a bit roughly. "There is this one I just can't seem to get rid of." A smile finally appeared back on his lips. “Dash, uh... took me in, I guess. Been helping me out since the move. He's a soldier, too.” He hesitated to get into too much detail. Dash had made Havoc Squad now, and that'd make him a high target for Imperials. He trusted Liv, but... that wasn't a gamble he was willing to take.

“Maybe I'll have the chance to introduce you two sometime.” Leo stated.

“Dash?” she asked at the name. “Interesting name. How'd you meet?” she asked. “And if he's up for a meet, let me know when and where, I'll see what I can do,” she stated. “I'm just glad someone was able to help you,” she added, lightly smiling. She hesitated a moment before continuing.

Leo stalled over Dash for a moment. His fingers twisted idly into loose strands of hair at the nape of his neck as he weighed... just how much he was willing to give. If anyone put the story together... It could get them all in a lot of trouble. Lying was safer. “He's a... neighbour.” A man that'd saved his life, more like. Funny how they'd nearly died for each other while barely knowing each other's names. And, hey, it wasn't a... complete lie. They lived together, when they were both on Coruscant. That counted, right?

She could tell he had hesitated before he said Dash was his neighbour. Liv guessed there was more she wasn't telling him, which was fine, as long as Leo trusted them, and she didn't hear anything about him getting caught and killed. “Must be a really nice neighbour,” she stated, not sure what else to say about it.

He released a quiet breath he hadn't quite realized he'd held when Liv didn't press further about Dash. “Yea... He's uh... somthin' else.” Way too good for him, for one. Dash had put up with... a lot since picking him up. “I owe him a lot. He's been... real great.”

“At least you have someone to help look out for you.” She stated, after Leo commented more on Dash. “Maybe they can help you stay out of trouble.” Liv teased. She knew anyone who tried to keep Leo out of trouble, usually ended up following him into it for a while.

“Leo, speaking of names, I'm guessing you changed yours, yes? So no one can guess your ties from that, as I'm sure there are at least some Republic officials who know of Father,” she asked. “And I can try and make sure no one connects things if anything with your 'new' identity comes up on this end,” she stated. She knew of a lot of people who would sell information if it could help them in any way, so the less chance there was of Leo's name coming up in any intelligence files, the better. “But only if you want me to.”

Leo sucked in a breath at her next question. “Yea, somehow doubt tryna get through Customs woulda been fun otherwise,” he mused. “Relos.” Something one of Dash's contacts had put down on his forged papers when she'd smuggled him into Coruscant. Something he probably still owed her for, knowing her... Ideally, there'd maybe be a few brushes with Coruscant Security on that record - but nothing major. Nothing proven, anyway.

“That is at least part of the point of a new identity,” she replied, a hint or sarcasm in her voice. “Just don't get into too much trouble.” When they were younger, Leo and Viv had always been the ones to go with Father on some of his business trips. Leo had stopped going when he had gotten scolded for fooling around too much, either in the Spaceport, or while Father was in a meeting. “I'll see what I can do on my end to try to keep it low profile. So long as you don't do anything too major. That, I may not be able to stop.” she said.

“Thanks, kid. I owe you one.” He glanced over his shoulder. One of the crew was... liable to get antsy.

“You're welcome, Leo,” she replied and watched him glance behind him. She did the same, wondering if Kaliyo was still at the other end of the ship, or if she had wandered up and was listening in.

“I'll send you anything I can find on either name, and see if I can lock your file. Then no one should be able to find it without a bit of digging,” she explained. “Provided you don't do anything too drastic,” she added. “I'd hate for you to get killed for real.”

“Hey, uh... I should probably... wrap up. Long flight and all. But... it was good to see you.” he said, not wanting to admit how much he actually missed her.

'Don't get into too much trouble.' Leo rolled his eyes and hummed half-hearted acknowledgement. That was like tellin' a rancor to behave in a pottery shop, and they both knew it. Especially since it seemed Skavak was keen to keep 'friends' of all stripes. Least he could promise he wasn't daft enough to try to rob the Dark Council or somethin' insanely stupid.

Just... a little stupid. Maybe. Depended on the mood. And the pay.

“Of course,” she replied, when he suggested they wrap things up. “It was good to see you, too,” she added. She looked over at the computer, again, the coordinates still set for Korriban. It wasn't that she hadn't dealt with Sith before but, . . . Korriban was something else. “I've got some things to do, but let me know when you want to meet on Nar Shadaa.” she stated.

A smile eased back across his lips as they started to wrap up. “You know I will, kid,” he said fondly. “Take care of yourself, alright? I'll be seein' you again soon enough.”

“I know,” she replied. “I will,” she added. She could take care of herself alright, but she wasn’t sure what else was going to happen with Intelligence. She knew the stories that they had heard when they were younger about people who went into Intelligence. She didn’t want Leo to worry more than she already knew he was. “See you soon, Leo.” Liv said, then ended the call. She re-enabled anything she had disabled, then set the ship to head for Korriban.

Back on Daredevil, Leo sat there for a moment, lost in his own thoughts. It had been good to see Liv again, even if it was only through a holo. It would be better when he could see her in person, risk or not. He got up from his chair, and left the bridge, deciding to check on Corso first; Risha wasn’t as naive as the kid.

#ch: leo ashold #ch: liv ashold #siblings #swtor #swtor oc

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