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sunshineandteddybears · 1 year

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Winter Wonderland is Overrated

For the 2022 @sanderssidesgiftxchange this is my present to @artist-hope

I hope you enjoy <3

Snow gently fell onto the ground, covering the ground in a white blanket. Except for the parts that were brown with dirt as cars drove by on the slushy roads, and the yellow area by the lamp post where people walked their dogs.

“I’m gonna freeze to death.”

“Hallmark movies got my hopes up,” Remus signed, pouting as he walked alongside his boyfriend. Having grown up in Florida, he hadn’t experienced snow before. So when Logan asked if he wanted to join him and his family for the holidays in Colorado, Remus jumped at the chance. Quality time with his hunky nerd, meeting his maybe future in-laws, AND getting to finally experience snow? Yes, please!

He had some regrets now.

“You should never trust movies,” Logan signed back, his shoulders shaking in a way that told Remus that he was chuckling. Or maybe he was as cold as Remus was.

A smirk stretched on Logan’s lips and Remus knew for a fact that he was definitely laughing at him that time.

“You laugh as I perish? Have I been dating a serial killer? I knew you were too hot to be true.”

He grinned as his boyfriend shook his head in exasperation. “How could-”

Gravity changed course in a blink of an eye and Remus felt his stomach flip. A hand grabbed hold of his arm, but it only slowed the sudden descent and changed course slightly.

Snow was not as soft as it looked.

Remus gasped at the impact of the cold against his neck as he blinked up at the gray sky. It took him a solid minute, or maybe it was merely ten seconds, before he noticed Logan patting him down and trying to get his attention. “-okay?” He blinked again, looking at the other’s hands. “Are you okay?” Another blink before he nodded. Logan’s shoulders sagged but a frown rested on his lips. Remus wanted to kiss it away.

“Fuck snow,” he finally signed. “What is it even good for?” Logan shook his head at him, his lips moving as he did so. Probably talking to himself. His nerdy wolverine was pretty good about using his hands when he was actually talking to Remus.

“You’re the one that wanted to go for a walk.” Remus stuck his tongue out at the fact. A snowflake fell on it and it just tasted like cold water. Yuck. “Let’s go home.” Yeah, that sounded good. With a huff, he tried to sit up. His puffy jacket made it difficult, so Logan grabbed hold of his hands and helped hoist him up. The snow that clung to his head from the landing slid down into the back of his collar. He yelped and jumped from the shock.

Fuck, that’s freezing! Now he understood fully why it was such a dick move in movies to put snow down someone’s shirt. He shivered and shimmied, trying to somehow get the snow out. But all it did was melt away and make him wet in a totally not fun way. He wiggled his hands free from his boyfriend’s grasp, whose brows were furrowed in concern, so that he could complain. “Fuck snow.” The furrow was gone, a sign that Logan deemed he was well enough. “Next year, your family can just come visit us. Or no visitors and instead we just have some hot and heavy-”

Logan grabbed his hands again, face red as holly berries. His glare made Remus giggle. It also made his blood heat up, but it seemed that was a fact he’d have to keep to himself since his hands were occupied. Since he couldn’t sign, he decided to go about the next best course of action.

The cold air had made Logan’s lips chapped, the texture rougher than it usually was when they kissed. It was kind of fun, getting the new experience. Like having their first kiss all over again. When it came to an end, Logan’s face was even more red and he let go of his hold in order to speak. “Your mustache is cold.” Remus snickered at that.

“Help me warm it up,” he suggested, wiggling his brows as he grinned. Logan shook his head but obliged all the same with his pretty red cheeks. Remus didn’t know if his mustache was actually getting warmer or not, but other parts of him were. That was, until a gust of wind blew by. Breaking the kiss, Remus threw his hands up in irritation before moving them quickly. “No. Time to go. Go go go go go.” He began to stomp his feet, ready to return to the safety of indoor heating, when Logan grabbed his arm and pointed in a different direction. Wrong way, whoops.

He was pretty sure Logan was laughing at him again, but Remus was too cold to care. He shivered and huffed, wrapping his arms around himself. His nose felt runny. It was terrible.

A sudden downpour of snow landed on their heads from a branch that grew too heavy.

A hand grabbed his arm and tugged it free from his wrap, making him pout as he turned his head to glare at his nerd. Logan however, simply slid his hand down so that his gloved fingers could lace with his. The action made his insides feel all gooey. His pout turned into a grin, goofy and wide. He pressed in closer to the other and hummed happily.

Alright, he could concede that walking hand in hand in the snow was romantic at the very least.

He took it back. Fuck snow.

---------

Inside was better. So much better.

Why the hell would anyone want to go outside?

Remus wiggled in his dry pajamas and slipper socks, wrapping himself up in a soft, fuzzy blanket. He curled into Logan on the couch, seeking all the warmth he could. The vibrations of his boyfriend’s relatives moving and talking made for a lively beat. Though they didn’t compare to Logan’s lovely heartbeat. That was his favorite.

Well, second favorite. His favorite favorite was the vibrations of when Logan was co-

“You’re making that face,” was Logan’s answer.

A pinch on his arm halted that line of thought. Blinking, he turned to look at his boyfriend who was frowning at him. He grinned innocently but the other bought none of it, rolling his eyes behind those cute geeky glasses. They were a little steamed up still from coming in from the cold. Remus wanted to steam them up more.

Another pinch and he huffed. “What?” he signed.

“What face?” Logan grumbled something, the vibrations rumbling from his chest and into Remus’ side.

“A face you shouldn’t make with everyone around.” Remus grinned maniacally. “Behave.”

“But you make me not want to.” He batted his eyes at the other, but Logan pushed at his face and he cackled. The air pressure changed and he blinked as Logan’s mother made her way over. Her lips moved, her vibrations softer from the distance. Logan’s hands moved after a moment of her speaking, translating for Remus what she was talking about.

“She wants to know how our walk was.” Ah a dilemma. Did Remus use total honesty, that Logan would or would not actually tell her he said, or be polite since this was his would-be mother-in-law?

“It was an experience,” he decided and Logan translated. “It was my first time in snow.”

“Did you have fun?” That was certainly a question. One that needed an answer. Future mom-in-law was not making it easy for him.

“I’m frozen as fuck but your son is helping thaw me out.” She laughed at that, or whatever it was that Logan said instead if he didn’t actually translate, and patted his knee.

“There’s cocoa in the kitchen if you want some.” He scrambled out of his blanket prison, feeling the laughter in the air as he did so, and hurried off towards the kitchen.

A tap to his shoulder took his attention away from his drink, though it didn’t stop him from consuming it, and he turned his gaze back to Logan. “Better?” he asked and Remus nodded. He held the mug out for the other to try and grinned as he was met with a raised brow. Still, Logan obliged the silent offer, and took the mug from him. When Logan was done trying it, Remus began to laugh.

A kettle on the stovetop awaited him, filled with boiled water that was ready to pour into a mug of powdery chocolate. The packets themselves were in their little box next to some clean mugs that had been brought down from the cupboards. He grabbed the one that had to have been Logan’s, it was space themed, and made himself a cup of the hot beverage. It helped warm his hands up nicely.

With a little skip in his step, he returned back to the couch and wiggled back into his place beside Logan while his boyfriend continued to chat with his mother. He blew into the cup to cool the drink down a little before taking a sip. A happy gurgle bubbled in the back of his throat and he took another sip. That’s the ticket, he thought, feeling himself get warmed up from the inside. Whoever invented cocoa was a genius.

He would.

“We match!” he signed eagerly, before pointing at the other’s lips. The cocoa had given Logan a mustache of sorts and it was hilarious. Before his boyfriend could do anything about it, he leaned in and licked a portion of it off. The air moved with whatever sound Logan had made and Remus laughed again. He took off before his boyfriend could scold him for doing such a thing for all his family to see, sacrificing his precious cocoa to delay Logan from reacting quick enough.

It didn’t stop him nearly long enough and Logan was soon hot on his heels, better at maneuvering around his childhood home, and the relatives that filled it, than Remus was. Soon those surprisingly strong arms wrapped around his waist and lifted him up. He squealed at the action, kicking his legs and cackling as Logan dragged him off. The cackling died off when he realized they were heading for the door. He wouldn’t-

Remus gasped as the cold air hit him once more, now without the protective layers of his stupid puffy coat. “Sorry! Sorry!” he signed frantically, though he wasn’t sure if Logan could see. His feet dangled over the porch steps, where the threat of snow felt far too real. Then he was being moved to where the little swing rested on the far end. Logan released him right in front of it before turning him around and lightly pushing him to sit in it. The second his ass was on the cushion, Logan’s lips were on his. He sighed into it, relief filling him that his boyfriend was not about to be so cruel as to drop him into the snow.

He should have paid better attention though, because as they walked back to the door, Logan swiped some snow off the porch banister and pressed it against his neck. Remus shrieked while Logan dashed back inside.

When the kiss broke, Logan glared at him. “Behave.”

“No promises.” Remus grinned. Logan rolled his eyes and gestured for Remus to come back inside. He didn’t need to be told twice.

-----

“So how was your trip to the in-laws?” Remus huffed at his brother’s question, giving a shrug. “Come on! Tell me!”

“Fuck snow,” he responded, a phrase he had gotten familiar with during his stay. “The movies lie.”

“Oh don’t be such a baby.” He glared at Roman and flipped him off. “Real mature.” He lifted up his other hand to give the same gesture. “Wooooooow.”

“Seriously though, snow is the worst. I don’t see what the excitement is about. The only good thing is getting to cuddle with Logan and I don't need snow for that.”

“So I take it you won’t go next year?” Remus frowned and gave another shrug.

“Well,” he signed, “I gotta keep up a good impression with the in-laws. And they have the fancy cocoa.”

“Fancy cocoa? Marry this boy.”

“If I’m lucky, he’ll put a ring on it.” Remus hummed thoughtfully. “But seriously, fuck snow.”

#sanderssidesgiftexchange #secret santa fic #sanders sides #fanfiction #fanfic #intrulogical #remus sanders #logan sanders #ts logic #ts intrusive thoughts #modern au #deaf!remus #deaf character #profanity #fluff #domestic fluff #remus does not like the snow

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ahbutimavillain · 8 months

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Honesty who tf gave the green light for s6 when s5 was that fucking awful

#I will never forgive them for ‘hero’ rumple like wtf #get that sappy shit out of my face #the whole point of rum is that he ISNT a hero no matter what he does #he’s always selfish above anything else #he can never be the hero bc he will always want power more #and it may not always make him a ‘villain’ but it will always cost him his happy ending #bc HE fucks it up #not bc of fate or some author #it’s his CHOICES #this whole arc of like the author and it being predetermined if ur good or bad is so dumb #and like they lay so hard into it that any attempts to do the opposite #and say that your choices make u good or bad just seems like a lazy afterthought #and is just so lazy and boring honestly #who tf ever loved a character who ONLY did ‘good’ things and wasn’t flawed?#fucking no one #like remus for example went from boring goody goody to compelling character #only AFTER he tried to leave his wife and unborn child and got into an argument with Harry due to his own cowardice #but he’s still a good guy just not perfect #and I mean??? snow and charming stole a fucking baby? and somehow in the logic and morals of that world #they’re not as bad as rum??#sounds sus to me

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pretty-little-mind33 · 2 months

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Gold Rush

James Potter x fem!reader

Summary: You're a stupid drunk and James Potter is very very bad at dealing with his romantic feelings.

Genre: Angst (happy ending!), fluff, hurt and comfort (a little bit of everything honestly)

Warnings: jealous!james, stupid!james, swearing, screaming, arguments, crying, injuries, punching, blood, protective!James, protective!marauders, platonic!best friends!marauders, confessions, dangerous activities (reader puts herself in danger), mentions of dying

You look towards the ground and your ankle bends a little in your winter boots as you try to control your movements. The cherry liquor you had drank earlier lingers in your mouth and in your drunken haze, the tower you're currently balancing on feels secure as you move forwards and the onlookers below continue to cheer.

"Please don't stay out too late," Remus warned you.

You blush, shaking some snow from your hair as you outstretch your arms for better balance, biting your lip. You look up at the sky, the stars prominent this evening.

"And don't drink too much," James reminded you with small smile.

"We'll see you there," Sirius promised.

What the hell did they know? You pout, now staring down at the snow on the ground. They hadn't even shown up!

You hear someone call your name and you look down to see Arthur Brown, a Ravenclaw boy you'd been talking with at a party. He's handsome with a charming smile and as you wave to him, you almost fall over.

Arthur just chuckles and encourages you to continue whatever nonsense and liquid courage inspired you to walk on the castle roof in the snow this late at night.

"Y/n?" you hear Remus's strained shout and when you turn your head, you're surprised to see Remus, James, and Sirius rushing over. They aren't dressed for the cold weather and they look extremely shaken and confused. "Come down from there," Remus shouts. You wonder how they'd known.

Sirius looks pale and James is frantically looking around to find some way to help you down safely. He looks more distraught than the others and Sirius has to calm him.

Your eyebrows knit together. You're afraid James might make a scene. Only, why would he? You know he'd let Remus, Sirius, or Peter do this in a heart beat, and he'd find it funny.

Bloody hell, James would probably do it himself so why does he look so worried when it's you?

"Bugger off, she's fine," Arthur interrupts as you take another step. Your boots slip on the snow again but you laugh as you move your arms out further to catch yourself. "See, she's fine. So, stop being her little guard dogs for one second and let her live a little," he says with unnecessary venom.

"What did you just say?" Sirius barks, grabbing Arthur's collar. He looks furious now.

"Y/n, come down, please, honey," Remus calls, occasionally telling Sirius to drop it and to concentrate on you.

You frown as Arthur's teasing riles up your friends and the crowd underneath you. Wind swirls around you and you gasp, feeling suddenly even more unbalanced and you start to realize maybe this wasn't the smartest plan.

"You fuckin' prick, don't talk about her like that, you hear me?" James suddenly swears loudly. Because you hadn't been paying attention to the boys under you, when you hear James and look down at him, you see that he'd pushed Arthur into the snow and was pinning him down.

Alarmed by their shouts, you accidentally slip as you turn around to make sure James's is okay.

You let out a shriek and all the students suddenly look up, seeming to remember your presence. Momentarily distracted by your scream, Arthur slams his elbow into James's cheekbone and sends him falling off him. Chaos ensues as everyone rushes to crowd around both you and James separately.

Remus kneels next to you, his hand coming behind your head to support you up. You're clutching at your ankle as you wail uncontrollably from the way you had fallen onto the snow. With nimble fingers, Remus cuffs your jeans and sees how swollen your ankle looks. "Oh, honey, that looks like it hurts," he whispers and caresses your cheek with his knuckles.

From next to you, Sirius and other students are standing around James; James, who has scrambled up from the ground. His nose is bleeding and the crimson liquid stains the snow as he curses at Arthur. Sirius is holding James up by his shoulders and he uses his hand to pinch James's nose as his best friend winces in pain. Arthur, who has a prominent bruise under his eye, is pulled away by his friends.

"What happened here?" The low drone of the Headmaster, accompanied by an anxious looking Professor McGonagall, is heard and you all turn your heads around.

* * *

Around an hour later, as Madam Pomfrey takes the time to heal your ankle, a disheveled looking James sits on the bed opposite of yours. He's holding a handkerchief to his nose and Madam Pomfrey hasn't tended to his injury yet. To her defense, James still looks extremely pissed and you wouldn't want to approach him either. You won't have that same luxury as the moment Madam Pomfrey is gone, James is staring.

"What were you thinking?" he whispers, his tone quipped. Still a little fuzzy from how drunk you'd been, you blink at him and shift uncomfortably.

"What was I thinking? What were you thinking?" you counter, defensively.

"What?" James drops the handkerchief and glares.

"Why would you jump Arthur like that?"

"Why the fuck do you care?" James hisses, his eyes narrowing. He's your best friend, he knows you hate it when he swears but that doesn't stop him now. "You're fucking reckless, you know? How could you have been so fucking stupid?"

You stare at James as your eyes water painfully. No coherent words form in your head. You're grateful for an escape when Remus and Sirius pile into the room.

Sirius rushes to your side. "Aw, poor sweetness, does it hurt terribly?" his sentence dies when he sees your tears and he wraps an arm around you so you can hug him. "Y/n, what's wrong?"

Remus, always more intuitive than Sirius, looks at James and sees James's furious expression. He frowns and quickly walks over to his best friend and holds onto his arm. James pushes him away and you see Remus whisper something in his ear.

However, Sirius pulls your attention away from them as he wipes your tears with his thumb.

"I am not!" Your attention is pulled again and you hear James shout as Remus shushes him.

You sniff, and look at Sirius. "James hates me," you say and Sirius's expression falls. He looks behind and sees Remus and James's shushed argument. He turns to you and holds your chin in his hand as his gaze softens.

"James couldn't hate you even if he'd been cursed to," he says so simply.

You shake your head and bite your lip. "No, he's really mad…like really mad, Pads."

Sirius chuckles and sighs, "Oh sweetie, James isn't really mad at you. He's mad at himself. Merlin, you should have seen him when he first saw you on that roof, the poor bloke looked about ready to faint."

Sirius continues and turns to Remus and James only to see they've moved further away from you and Sirius, and James looks like he could burst into tears at any moment, "Jamie is madly in love with you, Y/n. Just the possibility of you and another guy makes him go absolutely bonkers. And listen, if he hadn't hit Arthur like he did, I don't know if you would have fallen, doll. James knows that too and he's simply mad with guilt."

You try to concentrate on Sirius's entire story but your mind stays stuck at the words; "James? In love with me?"

Sirius's lips curl in amusement but he doesn't have the time to answer because he hears Remus shout an exasperated; "Prongs!" as James, his nose still very much broken and bloody, storms out of the Hospital Wing without a second word. Your chest tightens as you watch him and if you could, you'd run after him.

* * *

James has been avoiding you. Or more accurately, he's been avoiding everyone for the last three days. He's never in the common room anymore and he has evening detentions with Professor McGonagall so you don't see him at all outside of classes. Remus, Sirius, and Peter all tell you he's been quiet in their dorm too and that they don't know what's happened with him either.

Remus won't tell anyone what he spoke to James about that night in the Hospital Wing.

By the fourth day of complete silence, you've had enough. You manage to catch James on his way to detention. You speed walk over to him and cut his path, spinning around to look at him. You gasp when you see him. His face is bruised and his lip is split. "James!" you gasp and stop him. James's brown eyes narrow and he looks angry.

"Get out of my way, Y/n," he hisses as his fists clench.

"What happened?" you insist. His burises look horrible, and you think that he hadn't got his broken nose healed properly since he'd stormed out of the Hospital Wing. Why handn't the boys told you James looked like this?

"Are you a bloody insane? What he fuck happened?" your voice comes out stern and James pauses at your curse word, his frustrated expression faltering for a moment.

"What?"

You hold onto his sleeve and push him into the nearest girls lavatory. James almost trips as you make him lean against the sink. His eyes widen when you pull out your wand and firmly grasp his chin in your hands. You ignore his whinning as you point your wand at his wounds. "Episky—shush be still," you mutter sternly as you heal all of his wounds. "What is wrong with you, James Potter? Tell me who you've been tousling with this instant!"

James scrunches his nose and touches where his wounds had been. He leans away from you. "Nobody," he says, his voice high so you know he's lying.

"James," you warn. You move away and shove your wand in your cloak. "Please, tell me."

James has never been able to deny you a thing, even at times like this. "Fine, just don't lose your head over it, bird," you scowl at the nickname with an eye roll. "Brown keeps pushing my buttons, is all," he says.

"Arthur? The same boy who broke your nose?"

"Yeah, that little fucker, I'm pretty sure he's in love with you—or he has some weird obsession because he can't keep your name out of his fucking mouth," James suddenly pinches his nose and shuts his eyes, "Shi-sorry I keep curing, I know you don't like it when we curse."

Almost like he's sulking, James leans against the sink and stares at you. He doesn't speak.

"You're such a wanker," you mumble and look at him more closely, "Why are you acting like such a prick since that night?"

"Oh, since the night you almost fucking died?" James raises his eyebrows, his tone sarcastic and you ignore the curse word again.

"Horrible exaggeration considering all I did was break my ankle."

"Could have been your neck," James deadpans.

"Well, it wasn't my neck and that's certainly no excuse to be a such a prat," you say seriously. James considers your words and sighs. He runs a hand through his shaggy hair and looks away.

"What do you want me to say?" he asks.

You stare at him like he's absolutely mental. "That you're sorry?"

James laughs and you swear you've never met a boy as stubborn as he is. "Why would I be sorry?"

"Are you serious, James?" you whisper and press your finger accusingly on his chest, "Listen to me, I know I shouldn't have been on that roof, that's my mistake, but you know damn well I wouldn't have been on that roof if you'd all come with me to the party like you'd promised!" your voice comes out rushed, "And I wouldn't have fallen if you didn't have to knock down Arthur Brown and make me worried for you!"

James's cheeks are flaming. "You think I, out of everyone, don't know that?" he says, straightening up and moving closer to you, his voice harsh, "do you think I don't lay awake at night, going absolutely insane over every possible scenario that prevents you from falling?" James's voice cracks and he steps forwards again.

You look up at him, slightly breathless. For someone so angry, James looks undeniably handsome. "I know we should have gone to the party with you, but Merlin, I couldn't bear another one! Another party I would have had to spend watching other boys fawn all over you! Fuck, Y/n, how could I have known you would decide take a drunken nightly stroll on a roof because we hadn't shown up!"

You listen to him, eyes wide, "You don't like it when boys fawn over me?" you whisper.

James frowns. He bites his lip and squeezes his eyes closed. "Of course I don't," he says, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"Why?"

"Because you should be mine," James's voice is smaller now, less authoritative, less angry.

You stare at him and take in his expression with an inhale of breath. "But, James, I am yours."

James shakes his head quickly and tugs at his curls. "No, no. You aren't mine. You're ours. Sirius, Remus, Peter—you're our best friend. And I was okay with that, until I wasn't anymore and now everytime Arthur Brown says he wants to kiss your lips all I want is to punch something." James's fists clench and he looks away from you.

"You're scaring me," you look at him, whispering honestly but you don't move away from him.

James looks down and this time he looks really remorseful, "I'm sorry, Y/n, I don't meant to scare you. I—"

"So, Sirius was right," you inquire, taking his sudden remorse as a widow for a civilized conversation.

"Sirius was right about what?"

"You're in love with me," you don't say it as a question, more like a statement and James's eyes round so wide you're almost afraid they'll pop out of his skull.

James tries to escape but as he backs away, he bumps into the sink and his heart sinks. His eyes are moving so rapidly around the room and his cheeks have turned a less aggressive crimson and into a more lovesick pink.

"Why does everyone keep telling me that?" he mumbles to himself, feeling warmth on his cheek.

"What?"

James rubs at his nape and looks less angry and more nervous. You smile. You had been right to strike this conversation now. "Moony, in the Hospital Wing. He said I loved you—which was why I was acting like a prick and I don't," he backtracks immediately, "I mean, I love you as a friend and n-nothing more."

You expected to feel pain at the rejection but instead, you laugh. You stare at James and laugh harder. So hard, you clutch your sides and James's eyebrows crease with worry as you hyperventilate in front of him.

"Because you should be mine," you repeat his words through your laughter, "That's what you said and now you want me to believe you aren't in love with me?!"

"What?!" James's crimson cheeks have returned and he sounds annoyed now, "I- listen, sorry to disappoint but I-I am not in love with you!"

"You aren't?" you look at him, your eyes flickering to his lips.

"No!"

"Then why do you want me to be yours? What does that mean, hmm, James?"

You walk a little closer and your arms rest on the sink behind him. You ignore the way your heart is pounding your chest and screaming at you as you stand so close to him. James is staring down as you look up at him through your lashes. You expect another protest, maybe another incoherent defense, but instead he mumbles, "Fuck it," under his breath and takes your cheeks in his hands as he kisses you.

Without a second thought, you kiss him back. Your hand tangles in his hair as you press your lips to his. It's almost animalistic the way James is kissing you and it only lasts a few seconds before he's disconnecting your lips and resting his forehead onto yours. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he pants, shaking his head, "I shouldn't have kissed you without asking you—"

"Oh, shut up," you grumble and kiss him again. He accepts the kiss and spins you around. He uses his arm to hoist you onto the sink and deepen the kiss. You hold onto him and wince when your hip accidentally hits the faucet. James pulls away and looks at you like he can't believe what just happened.

"Okay, so maybe I am in love with you," he finally admits and his chest is heaving from all the emotions.

You crack a smile, "I'm in love with you too, James," you admit and touch his cheek. "Only, you can't act like a prick to me when you can't deal with your emotions. You should have told me all these feelings instead of sulking like a child."

James nods and squeezes his eyes shut, "I was just so angry at myself," he whispers.

"I know, Sirius said that was the reason."

James chuckles with a roll of his eyes, "How does Sirius suddenly know my emotions better than I do? He's usually the emotional wreck!"

You adjust his glasses a little, "He's just observant," you say, "and you're stubborn."

James pulls you in, holding you close to him as he dips and kisses your neck. He hums against your skin and whispers, "I'm such a fool, can you forgive me?" he asks, basically pleads, "I'm just, I was jealous."

You laugh, "Oh, I know. But, James, you know you have no reason to be jealous of anyone."

James whines and looks at you with his famous doe eyes; "I have every reason to be jealous. I'm jealous of the way Peter laughs at your jokes, or how Remus bonds over books with you. I'm jealous of Sirius and how he makes you laugh, and I'm jealous of every boy that looks your way. And worst of all, I'm jealous of the sun because it shines on you every day and I can't," he sounds like a lovesick idiot. He's barely making sense.

You look at him seriously, "James. You are the sun. You're my sun."

James looks into your eyes and bats his eyelashes innocently. He says, "So, you forgive me for being a wanker?" It's obvious he wants to make you laugh and he succeeds as you chuckle and playfully and lightly swat his cheek.

"I'll forgive you," you say, "for now."

James pouts but he also lifts you and spins you around. He drops you on the ground, his hands at your hips and kisses your forehead. "I'll take it, love. Now, let's tell our friends we aren't mad at each other anymore."

"I was never really mad with you," you point out with a snort as James takes your hand.

James squints, and looks behind his shoulder at you. "Yeah, you were," he says but when you shake your head he decides not to argue with you and just smiles, "Okay, fine, then let's go tell our friends I'm not being a baby anymore."

"Much better," you beam with a giggle and James realizes with a hopeless smile that he wants to be the only reason you ever giggle like that again.

Merlin, he really is madly in love with you.

#james potter #james potter x reader #james potter fluff #marauders #james potter smut #marauders fic #james potter fanfic #james potter fanfiction #james potter x you #marauders imagine

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theostrophywife · 3 months

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darling, you look divine.

pairing: regulus black x reader.

song inspiration: eyes don't lie by isabel larosa.

author's note: screaming, crying, throwing up. if regulus looked at me like that, i'd be wetter than the black lake. please enjoy my darlings 🤎

The first symptom reared its ugly head early Monday morning.

You were in the Great Hall eating breakfast with James, Remus, Sirius, and Peter when your skin suddenly felt like you were being engulfed by fiendfyre. The burning heat spread through your entire body, making you feel flushed and flustered. Your fork clattered against the table while you wiped the sweat off of your brow with clammy hands.

“Are you feeling alright, love?” asked Sirius.

You shook your head, fanning yourself. “Does anyone else feel hot all of a sudden? It feels like I’m getting burned alive.”

The boys shook their heads. Remus laid the back of his hand against your forehead. “You’re burning up, Y/N. I think you might be pitching a fever.”

James pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose and squinted. “Moony’s right. You’re sweating profusely and you look a bit peaked.”

Peter nodded in agreement. “It might be that new dragon flu that’s going around. Maybe you should head back to the dorms, Y/N.”

“I can’t miss class. There’s an assignment due in Transfiguration.”

Just then, a violent cramp seized your lower abdomen. You gripped the edge of the dining table so hard that you felt the wood splinter underneath your palm. Padfoot’s eyes widened at the appearance of your claws. It had only been a month since Sirius helped you summon your Animagus form and while you still had much to learn, you’ve never lost control like this before.

You needed to get out of there. Transforming into a giant snow leopard in the middle of the Great Hall would be very, very bad.

“Don’t worry about McGonagall,” Sirius said in a stern voice. “We’ll cover for you. Now come on, I’ll walk you back to your room.”

Fortunately, you managed to reach Gryffindor tower with no other incidents. After Sirius escorted you back to your dorm, he barred the door with magic and promised to check up on you after class.

The cramps only worsened. It felt like someone had buried a dagger into your stomach and was now twisting and turning it as they pleased. You doubled over in pain and clutched the poster of your canopy bed before curling up into a ball in the middle of your mattress. Not even your period cramps compared to this torment.

When you thought it couldn’t get any worse, an overwhelming ache blossomed between your thighs and made you groan with need. You twisted in your sheets and pressed your legs together to counteract the wave of lust coursing through your veins, but it only made it worse. You felt empty and hollow and the overwhelming desire to be filled was the only thing you could think about.

This was different from the surge of adolescent hormones that you had grown so familiar with. The desire was a living thing, sinking its claws into your very being. You felt feral, animalistic.

You burrowed into your pillows, your breaths growing ragged as you tried to regain control. A demanding knock against your door broke your concentration. You sniffed the air, whining softly as the intoxicating scent of eucalyptus, bergamot, and sandalwood overpowered your heightened senses. A part of you recalled the warning Sirius left you with. You were not, under any circumstances, supposed to open the door unless it was him or one of the boys on the other side, but the temptation was too strong.

As the knocks grew more insistent, the scent shifted into something sharper. You felt yourself drawn to it and before long, you were opening the door to satiate your curiosity. The person standing on the other side made your stomach lurch.

“Regulus,” you said through gritted teeth. The very presence of the younger Black brother made your entire body shake as you contended against the urge to transform. It was a losing battle. You could feel your canines elongating, making your gums feel sore and achy. “Now is not a good time.”

In fact, it was the worst bloody fucking time. On a normal day, you could barely tolerate Regulus. His surly attitude and cutting glare certainly left little to be desired. Then there was the matter of his falling out with Sirius, which only served to heighten the tension between you. When Professor McGonagall chose to make you partners, you at least attempted to keep things civil. Whatever was going on between your best friend and his younger brother was none of your business, but Regulus had practically made it impossible to stay impartial.

You had never met a broodier, haughtier, snootier arsehole than Regulus Arcturus Black. The pureblood prick acted like he was a prince amongst peasants just because he happened to be born into the right bloodline. Yet a muggleborn like yourself had managed to take the top spot in every class. A spot that previously belonged to him.

To be expected, Regulus wasn’t the least bit pleased about this. He was even less thrilled when McGonagall tasked him to drop off the latest lecture notes so that you wouldn’t fall behind in class. If she hadn’t threatened to deduct points from his house for refusing, Regulus would’ve never set foot in the godforsaken lion’s den.

He pushed his way inside, not bothering to wait for a proper invitation. “Here are the notes from class,” Regulus stated stiffly. “We’re required to transform a thimble into a thestral. I suggest you read up. I’ll not have you dragging me down just because you fancied playing hooky for the day.”

“I’m not skipping for the bloody hell of it,” you snapped. “If I had a choice, I would be in class not doubled over in pain—”

Regulus caught you just before you hit the ground. The dizzy spell had come out of nowhere, nearly knocking you to the floor from the sheer force of its effects. As Regulus snaked his arm around your waist, you almost wished it had. His scent hit you all at once. You whimpered as he tucked you against his side, feeling the heat of his touch even under all your layers of clothing.

The ringing in your ears subsided enough for you to hear the panic in Regulus’ voice. “Y/N, can you hear me? Are you alright?”

You pushed him off with what little strength remained in your body. “Thank you for the notes, but I’d appreciate it if you left.”

“No,” Regulus said.

“What do you mean, no?

“I mean, no. Do you want to hear it in French? Non.”

You frowned, clutching your stomach. The cramps were starting again, but it was different this time. The ache in your lower abdomen was excruciating and your current proximity to Regulus only seemed to make it worse. The slickness between your thighs certainly didn’t help the matter. It was humiliating, plain and simple.

“Get the fuck out, Regulus!”

Regulus caught your wrist. His fingers felt like ice against your overheated skin. “You don’t want that, darling. Not when I’m the only person who can help.”

“You know what’s wrong with me?”

He sighed. “Of course my brother would convince you to turn without thinking about the side effects. Classic Sirius, honestly.” You glared at him to get on with it. “You’re in heat, Y/N.”

You grimaced. There was no way in Godric’s green earth. “Like…a cat?”

Regulus smirked. “Is that what you transform into, little kitten?” You pursed your lips, which caused him to roll his eyes. “Please, I know your merry band of misfits have all conjured an animagus form. There’s no use hiding it. So what are you? A fuzzy little Persian cat?”

“No,” you said rather haughtily. Did he have to be so irritating? “My form is a snow leopard.”

“Still a kitten,” he responded with a shit eating grin. “The same rules apply. You’ll be in heat for at least a week, mon chaton.”

“You mean I have to suffer for seven whole days? This is hell. It feels like my uterus is being ripped apart. How am I supposed to endure this pain for an entire week?”

“Well, there are ways to find relief.”

“What kind of ways?”

Regulus gave you a knowing look. “You’re a smart girl. I’m sure you can figure it out. What’s the purpose of heat?”

“Reproduction,” you answered almost instantly. The realization left your mouth before your brain could even process it. Oh, you have got to be kidding. This was some sort of cruel joke. For Merlin’s fucking sake! This was horrifying. Downright humiliating. “You can’t possibly mean…”

The grin on the stupid twat’s face was growing wider by the second. “You don’t necessarily have to have sex,” he said in an amused tone. “An orgasm will do. I’m sure you can manage that with your fingers, can’t you princess?”

You swallowed thickly. “I—I’ve never—“

Was it possible to die from embarrassment? Discussing the details of your sex life would’ve been humiliating under any circumstance, but this? Standing here, telling Regulus fucking Black what you were about to tell him, this was truly rock bottom.

“Don’t tell me you’re a virgin.”

“No!” you snapped. You’ve had your fair share of experience in that department, no matter how awkward they might’ve been. “I’ve had sex, I just haven’t…”

“You’ve never had an orgasm?” Regulus said, entirely perplexed. “Not even once?”

You crossed your arms defensively, which turned out to be a big mistake. On top of everything else that you were already suffering through, your breasts now felt sore and sensitive.

“No,” you conceded with a sigh. “I don’t need you judging me for it either, so if you’re quite done then please get the bloody hell out of my dorm.”

It may have been your imagination, but you could’ve sworn that Regulus softened just a little bit. He at least loosened his grip on your wrist, rubbing up your arm in a gesture that might’ve been soothing if it weren’t coming from him.

“I’m not judging you. If anything, I’m judging whoever it is that failed to make you finish. It’s quite rude to leave a lady unsatisfied.”

“What would you even know about satisfying a woman, Regulus?”

“Trust me, darling. I know plenty.” Your cheeks heated as he traced circles on your forearm. “Tell me, kitten. Have you ever touched yourself?”

The conversation should have ended there. You should’ve put a stop to it. But this bloody fucking heat was doing strange things to your body. Your hormones were out of control and Regulus was standing way too close for comfort. So close that you could see the little golden flecks in his emerald eyes. So close that one of his curls was tickling your cheek. So close that those full, pillowy lips were mere inches away from your own.

He smirked when your gaze dipped down to his mouth. “My eyes are up here, Y/N and I asked you a question. The polite thing to do is answer.”

“Since when have you ever cared about being polite?”

“I don’t, but I think you and I are playing a very dangerous game here and I quite enjoy sparring with you, ma cherie.” Regulus tilted your chin up and cradled your jaw. “So, have you or have you not touched yourself?”

You glared up at him defiantly; a last ditch effort to keep your dignity intact. “No,” you said with your head held high. “I’ve never touched myself and I’ve never had an orgasm. Are you happy now, Regulus?”

“Quite the opposite,” he murmured. Regulus caressed your bottom lip with his thumb and tilted his head back to study you. His eyes were almost black when they flickered back up to meet yours. “I could teach you.”

“You want to teach me how to…”

“Masturbate. Wank. Get yourself off?” Regulus listed matter-of-factly. “Yes. Yes, I do, ma chérie.”

It should’ve been a no-brainer. This was a terrible, horrible fucking idea. An absolute hot mess that would yield calamitous results, but the ache in your core was too painful to ignore and you were willing to try just about anything to find relief. Including trusting someone you absolutely loathed.

“Fine. You can teach me, but that’s it. None of this goes any further than that.”

Regulus smirked. “I won’t touch you, princess. Not until you beg me to.”

You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms. “So?”

He nodded behind you. “Get on the bed.”

That was easy enough. You crawled into your mattress and sat cross legged on top of your sheets. “Not like that. Lie down on your back and take those ghastly pajamas off.”

Arsehole. You happened to like your red and gold striped bottoms, but to be fair, they were in the way. The mattress dipped beneath him as Regulus positioned himself at the very edge of the bed. He leaned against the wooden poster, his gaze transfixed on the sight before him.

“I wouldn’t have taken you as a red lace lingerie type of girl, mon chaton.” You frowned in response, which only made him chuckle. “As pretty as those panties are, you’ll need to take them off as well.”

You hesitated, hooking your thumb over the waistband of your knickers. Regulus raised a brow as if he were challenging you to back out. Like he half-expected you to be too scared to continue. He seriously underestimated that infamous brashness that Gryffindors were so well known for.

He inhaled sharply as you slipped out of your panties and tossed the discarded lace next to him. “Spread your legs, sweetheart.”

For once, you kept silent and did what you were told. Regulus nodded tightly. “Wider. Yeah, just like that.”

“What now?” you asked, trying to keep yourself from blushing at this totally undignified position. You were way past embarrassment now.

“Run a finger through your folds,” Regulus said, his voice sounding huskier than it did a second ago. He watched with dark eyes as you stroked your core. “Fuck, you’re soaked. I can see it on your fingers.”

You took a deep breath, feeling that tension coil in your lower abdomen. Every fiber of your being buzzed with lust. “Stroke yourself, kitten. Imagine that it’s someone else touching you.”

With your eyes closed, you let his voice guide you through the steps. You hated to admit it, but he was good at this. “Use your own slick to make it easier, darling. Gather it before rubbing your clit. That’s it, just like that. There’s a good girl.”

The words spurred you on, your fingers working that sensitive bundle of nerves to find release. You could feel the budding orgasm. It was spreading through you, setting your teeth on edge. You were close, so close.

When the momentum dropped, you nearly cried out of frustration. If you thought you were in pain before, this was ten-fold of that. For some reason, there was some sort of mental block that you couldn’t get past.

You looked up, your lower lip trembling. “I can’t do it. There’s this block and I freeze up and I just can’t do it on my own.”

Regulus looked unhinged. Like he was going to jump out of his skin any second. You’ve never seen him like this. Anything other than calm and collected was out of character for the youngest Black.

“Will you help me?” you whispered. To be honest, you weren’t above begging at this point.

He looked utterly conflicted. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Y/N. You’re in heat. I don’t want to take advantage when you’re in such a vulnerable state.”

You shook your head. “You wouldn’t be taking advantage. I know I’m hormonal, but oddly enough, I trust you. You know how to keep a secret. Just please, Regulus. I’m in so much pain.”

Regulus was silent for a moment. He seemed to be in deep contemplation. “Are you absolutely sure?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re aware of what you’re asking for and who you’re asking it from?”

“I am perfectly aware, thank you very much. Is this the most brilliant idea I’ve ever had? Fuck no. Do I still want to do it anyways? Fuck yes.”

The two of you stared at one another. Regulus clenched his jaw and then unclenched it. Finally, he sighed in resignation.

“C’mere then.”

He positioned himself against the headboard, his back pressed up on the wood. Regulus bent his long legs and pulled you against him, your back resting against the solid plane of his chest. You sighed as he rubbed soothing circles upon your skin, his rings kissing your hips with their cold bite. He shuffled behind you, adjusting himself just as you caught a glimpse of the two of you in your vanity mirror.

Regulus stuck his middle and pointer finger into his mouth, making sure they were nice and wet before he moved them lower. You whimpered as he caressed the inside of your thigh and clutched the sheets as he teased along your crease. When he stroked along your wetness, a choked moan escaped from your lips.

“Gods, you’re fucking dripping.” His cold breath fanned over your neck just as he plunged his fingers deep within you. “Salazar fucking save me, you’re even tighter than I imagined.”

His strokes were languid, small ministrations as he buried his fingers inside of you. The cold metal rings that adorned his slender fingers hit your pubic bone every time he thrusted inside of you, but it wasn’t painful. In fact, seeing the Black heirloom ring soaked in your wetness might’ve been the most erotic sight you’ve ever witnessed.

You whimpered as his other hand disappeared underneath your shirt. “Can I touch you here, princess?”

The sound that came out of you barely sounded human. It was a purr more than anything. Regulus caressed your ribs with his knuckles. “I need words, kitten.”

“You can touch me, Regulus.”

Fire skittered along your skin as his hand traveled further up. He palmed you through your bra before he slipped under the fabric and squeezed your breast. Regulus paid equal attention to both of your breasts, admiring the curve and swell of them as he picked up the pace of his fingers. You moaned as he pinched your nipples, which only made you wetter still.

You fisted his curls in one hand as he curved them inside of you. Regulus chuckled darkly, pleased by your reaction. “Right there? Does that feel good, princess?”

“Yes,” you breathed. “Yes, gods that’s perfect.”

“You’re doing so well, ma cherie. That’s it. Ride my fingers just like that. Feels good, yeah?”

You nodded, blinking at the image in the mirror. Regulus had his hands all over you, his lips pressed lightly against your neck as he watched his fingers slide in and out of your tight cunt. His eyes caught yours in the reflection, the green completely swallowed by dark pools of lust.

“Look at you, all spread out for me. You’re fucking exquisite. The little moans you make are enough to drive me mad.”

“Regulus, please,” you keened. He smirked against your neck and picked up the pace. Your head fell against his shoulder as that familiar tense built. “Oh gods. Oh fuck. Reggie—“

You felt him grip your chin, tilting it towards the mirror. “Don’t close your eyes,” Regulus growled into your ear. “Watch, kitten. Watch as I make you cum.”

When you dragged your gaze upwards, you almost didn’t recognize yourself. You were in a state of disarray, cheeks flushed, hair matted, and lips parted as Regulus pushed you over the edge. His fingers were magic and every stroke unraveled you, hips bucking, back arching, begging for more and more and more. The orgasm rippled through you like a monsoon, completely swallowing you whole.

“That’s it, princess,” Regulus cooed. “Gods, you’re so fucking pretty when you cum. Darling, you look divine. Je suis raide dingue de toi.”

The comedown had you seeing stars. Behind your eyes was a whole galaxy, a cluster of constellations that you never would’ve reached without him. Regulus had made you cum so hard that your body felt like it was floating through outer space.

When you finally regained awareness, you were surprised to find Regulus gently brushing your hair back. “How was that, kitten?”

“That was—you were—fuck.”

“Well said, love. Shakespeare himself would envy your silver tongue.”

He slid his fingers out of you slowly and you tried and failed to suppress the little whine that escaped from the back of your throat.

Regulus smirked, feeling the way you clenched around his digits in an attempt to keep him in place. He stared at his hand, mesmerized by the arousal dripping off his fingers. You stirred, having every intention to find something that he could clean himself off with.

“Let me grab you a towel.”

He gripped your hips in place and looked you straight in the eyes as he brought his fingers to his lips. “No need, princess.”

Then he sucked, hard. The filthy image was enough to leave you gasping in shock. He lapped up every drop like you were the sweetest delicacy on this earth. Regulus groaned, his eyes rolling back as he savored the taste. The moan that rippled through him would forever be branded into your mind.

For Godric’s fucking sake, the man was downright obscene.

“That should hold you off for the rest of the day,” Regulus said. “You’ll still feel the effects of your heat, but it won’t be as bad. You might even be able to drag yourself down to dinner. If you can manage to walk on such shaky legs.”

You rolled your eyes, but softened a bit. If it weren’t for him, you would still be in excruciating pain. “Would it be strange to say thank you?”

Regulus shrugged nonchalantly as though you were merely discussing the weather. “Not strange at all. You’re very welcome, princess.”

“You’re…” you took a deep breath, like your body was rejecting whatever compliment was forming in your mind. “You’re really good at that.”

“Yeah? You think so?”

You quirked a brow. “Fishing for compliments, are we?”

“The only compliment I need is the sound of you moaning my name,” he said with a smile as he hooked your bra back in place and pulled your shirt back down. “I assure you that I intend to hear plenty of that in the near future. This is just the start.”

Regulus straightened, trailing his fingers along the sheets before snatching up the red lace underwear you’d thrown at him earlier. He pocketed the lingerie and smirked.

"You said something earlier," you recalled. "Before I..."

"Before I made you come so hard you saw stars?"

Heat flooded your cheeks at his vulgar choice of words. "Yes. Something in French. That's your native tongue, isn't it?"

"Thinking a lot about my tongue, are you love?"

You ignored the salacious comment. "What did you say?"

A devious smirk tugged at his lips. Regulus pierced you with his gaze, those emerald eyes burning with so much lust that you felt choked with desire.

"It's a secret," he whispered, his voice a deep and rough caress. "If you're good, then maybe you'll find out what my tongue and I have to say."

You rolled your eyes. "You're a pain in the arse, Regulus."

"Find me when you want to play again, princess," Regulus said with a dark chuckle. "I'll be waiting for those claws to come out. See you soon, mon chaton.”

#i am climbing up the walls just look at him my god #regulus black #regulus black x reader #regulus black x you #regulus black fic #regulus black smut #the marauders #marauders era

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soulofapatrick · 10 months

Text

I See You - Theodore Nott x Reader

Summary: Theodore steps in when Draco corners you Words: 1.8k Warnings: fluff really Notes: I blanked while writing this as I've had Theodore Nott brainrot recently so don't mind me if I post a few Theodore stories

Y/N’s POV

Today was meant to be a peaceful day with Harry still at Hogwarts with Remus and Ron and Hermione off giggling like a lovesick couple. Hogsmead is ever so pretty covered in a blanket of snow and the bustles of students here to have fun and buy each other last minute Christmas gifts. But, of course, I can’t have anything nice as I round the corner from where I left Ron and Hermione in The Three Broomsticks I bump into a familiar blond.

The sneer ever present on Draco’s face as he shoves me away from him, causing me to stumble and before I know it I’m on my ass in the not so pretty snow. I just shake my head, pushing myself up from the snowy ground, brushing the cold flakes clinging to my jeans. Draco’s mocking laughter fills the air, eyes narrow with distain as he looks down at me like I’m dirt under his shoe.

“Well, well, if it isn’t the Weasley girl,” He sneers, tone dropping with derision, “As expected, stumbling through life like your family stumbles through poverty.”

I take a deep breath, refusing to let Draco’s words bring me down, his little jabs always hurting but I’m never gonna let him see it so instead I meet his gaze with a defiant glare, sneering back, “Does your mother always look at you like she’s stepped in shit?”

A flicker of something flashes across his face, but before I can decipher it he quickly regains his composure, “Watch your tongue, Weasley. You may think you're clever, but you'll always be just another insignificant blood traitor," he spits.

I stand my ground, refusing to back down. "Oh, Draco, I would rather be a blood traitor than a heartless coward who hides behind his family name and pure-blood arrogance," I shoot back, my voice filled with determination. "At least I know the value of true friendship and the strength that comes from standing up for what's right. Something you'll never understand.”

It all sounds so cliche and stupid but the surrounding students watching the exchange have mixed expressions, some wearing smirks of satisfaction at my words while others hold their breath, waiting to see how Draco will respond. But before he can retort, a tall figure steps forward, silently wedging himself between Draco and me. It's Theodore Nott, his typically enigmatic expression softened with a touch of resolve. Without saying a word, he calmly places a hand on Draco's shoulder and pushes him away, creating a safe space for me to stand. However, he may have pushed a little too hard as Draco stumbles backwards, momentarily taken aback by one his best friends apposing him let alone standing up to him.

Draco is tall but Theodore stands taller, an undeniable air of quiet confidence surrounding him. His raven black hair, somehow perfect tousled, frames his striking features, drawing attention to his piercing blue eyes that hold a depth of mysteries. There’s an intriguing allure about him, an enigma that seems to follow his every move.

With a subtle gesture, Theodore motions for Draco to dare take another step closer, the weight of his actions speaking volumes. The surrounding students, captivated by the unfolding scene, exchange whispers and glances filled with admiration and surprise.

Draco, shaken by the unexpected opposition from one of his closest friends, regains his composure. His pride wounded, he attempts to mask his disbelief with a haughty glare. However, the cracks in his facade are evident. It's a rare sight to witness someone challenge Draco, and the students relish in the spectacle, some fighting back grins of satisfaction and with one final sneer Draco turns on his heels and struts away.

There’s a flicker of concern behind Theodore’s piercing blue eyes as they shift their focus to me, a genuine care that sets my heart at ease. With a gentle smile, he takes a step closer, his voice resonating with a warmth that catches me off guard.

“Are you alright?” Theodore’s voice, smooth and velvety, reaches my ears like a soothing melody. I think it’s the first time I’ve truly heard him speak, and there’s a captivating timbre to his words - a perfect harmony of confidence and tenderness. I find myself momentarily entranced by his presence, the way he effortlessly brushes a bit of snow out of my hair, his touch sending a gentle shiver down my spine.

With a grateful smile, I reply, “Thank you Teddy, let me buy you a drink to make up?” The air around us seems to hold a certain electricity, a shared moment that lingers in the wintry atmosphere.

Theodore’s eyes widen slightly and I’m not sure if it’s at my offer or the fact I called him ‘Teddy’ without thinking about it, but either way, surprise mingles with the lingering warmth in his gaze. A hint of a smile plays at the corners of his lips as he considers my proposition and after a moment of silent contemplation he’s nodding and accepting my invitation.

“Teddy?” He asks quietly, almost shyly, as we turn back and head towards The Three Broomsticks, the thoughts of Butterbeer already warming the chill working its way into my bones. A soft blush creeps up my cheeks as I meet his gaze, finding comfort int he genuine warmth radiating from him.

“Yes, Teddy,” I respond with a gentle nod, a smile tugging at the corners of my lips, “If that’s okay with you? It feels right.” The admission carries a sense of vulnerability, as if I’m opening a door to something new, embracing the familiarity that seems to have effortlessly blossomed between us.

A genuine smile spreads across Theodore’s face, eyes crinkling at the corners as he mumbles, “I like it.” There’s a softness in his expression as he speaks, a subtle shift in demeanour that draws me closer both physically and emotionally. I’m bumping shoulders with him lightly as he pushes open the door to The Three Broomsticks for me.

The air is thick with the aroma of freshly brewed Butterbeer, mingling with the comforting scent of wood and fireplaces. The low ceiling is adorned with an array of floating lanterns, casting a soft, golden glow that dances upon the polished wooden floors. The walls are adorned with aging tapestries and moving portraits that I still can’t get used to, having been introduced to the magical world when the Weasley’s adopted me just after my 9th birthday.

The tavern is filled with a harmonious blend of laughter and chatter, the clinking of glasses and the occasional burst of magical fireworks, probably from some new toy Fred and George have created, punctuating the joyful atmosphere. The patrons, a mix of Hogwarts students and locals, gather in small groups at the wooden tables, engaged in animated conversations or enjoying a game of Wizarding chess.

Madam Rosmerta moves with grace behind the bar, effortlessly serving Butterbeer and other magical drinks. Her warm smile and friendly banter create an inviting atmosphere, making everyone feel right at home.

We make our way to the small table indicated by Madam Rosmerta, and as we settle down, Theodore takes the seat beside me. His presence is comforting, his arm casually draped over the back of my chair. It's a subtle gesture, yet it carries an intimacy that sends a thrill of anticipation coursing through my veins. As he lean in closer to hear me other over the lively ambiance of the pub, Theodore's head ducks down, his voice a soft murmur that tickles my ear. The proximity between us feels both exhilarating and comforting, like a secret shared between kindred spirits. In the midst of the bustling crowd, we create our own little world, cocooned in the warmth of our connection. The laughter and conversations of the other patrons blend into the background, fading away as our focus rests solely on each other.

“You’re so beautiful.” The pads of his fingers brush lightly over my jaw, sending my face aflame as it’s something so unexpected and something so right. His voice is deep and full of genuinely which isn’t expected from Slytherins. Before either of us can say or do anything else Madam Rosmerta approaches with our drinks, a tray of steaming Butterbeer and a mischievous twinkle in her eye, Theodore’s hand moving away from me, his touch fleeting, but it sends a jolt of electricity through my fingertips, leaving me craving more. With a grateful smile, we accept our drinks, the frothy liquid adding a touch of sweetness to the atmosphere. The taste of the warm Butterbeer dances on my tongue, mirroring the warmth that spreads within me whenever Theodore's eyes meet mine.

With Madam Rosmerta’s retreating figure a sense of anticipation lingers in the air. I feel Theodore’s gaze intensify, his eyes fixed on mine with a mixture of tenderness and desire. Without a word, he captures my jaw between his thumb and forefinger, guiding me gently toward him.

Time seeming to stand still as our lips meet in a surprising yet delicate kiss. The world around us fading away, leaving only the soft press of his lips against mine, the warmth of his breath mingling with mine. It’s a kiss filled with unspoken promises and raw vulnerability. It has me melting into his strong presence, my body instinctively leaning closer. His touch both electrifying and gentle, as if he’s holding me with the utmost care. The taste of butterbeer lingering on his tongue adds to the intensity of the kiss, drawing an embarrassing sound from me.

As the kiss comes to an end, both of us breathless and wide-eyes, a hint of surprise flickers across Theodore’s features. He stammers, voice laced with a touch of flustered apology, “I’m sorry, I… I didn’t mean to…”

But, before he can finish his sentence, I’m silencing him with another kiss, my lips pressing against his with a mixture of urgency and tenderness. It’s my way of telling him that he doesn’t need to apologise, a soft sigh escaping me when he brings a hand up to cup my jaw as the kiss ends just as sweetly. I’m whispering softly, voice a blend of relief and affection, “I’m glad you like me Teddy. I’m surprised you even see me.”

“Oh sweetheart,” His vice is low, eyes searching mine, a myriad of emotions swirling within them, thumb caressing my cheek as he leans closer, lips barely brushing mine and he murmurs four words that leave me speechless:

“I’ve always seen you.”

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yoongis-black-grilfriend · 1 year

Text

Seriously

Summary: You are at a halloween party with your boyfriends until everything goes south.

Warnings: foursome, pentravtive sex, oral (male) recieving, jelousy, slapping, rough sex, anal, lmk if I missed any!

You and your boyfriends walk into the booming house, excited to see what tonight would bring. You all were invited to this halloween party and you guys could not pass up the opportunity. You were dressed up as snow white and your Remus was dressed up as sleepy, James was dressed up as dopey, and Sirius was dressed up as grumpy from snow white.

“This looks promising, let's all go in and I'll bring some drinks' ' Sirius told your group as you guys walked into the house, feeling the vibration from the music all throughout your body. Sirius pointed to a corner of the house and told all of you to wait for him over there and then Remus followed him stating that he had to use the bathroom really quickly.

Now it was just you and James left in the corner of the room. “I see someone from the quidditch team. I'll be the right back princess. '' He hurried and gave you a kiss on the cheek and then there was one left. You stayed in the spot waiting for at least one of your boyfriends to come back until you realized that the line for the bathroom and the drinks were probably long and you could see James from across the room still having the conversation with his friend.

Sighing you make your way to James wrapping your hand around his arm waiting for his conversation to be over. “Oh look at what we have here, how are you doing y/n?’ his friend asks you to quietly say that you're good with a smile on your face before he jumps into asking his next question.

“Yall think you guys have room for one more in this dating fest you guys got going on” James' face gets serious as you laugh at his friend's joke trying to get along with his teammate. You wink at him with a grin on your face. “I don't know do you think you could handle it?” his friend's face lights up in hope “Hell yes-” you didn't get to hear the rest of his sentence as you are dragged away.

James looked at you with a look of distaste on his face before he left without saying anything to his friend leading you back to where you guys first were now with Sirius and Remus waiting there for you guys. “Where did you guys go?” Rumus asked while Sirius handed you guys red solo cups you could immediately smell the scent of alcohol from it. Sirius notices the look on James' face, “What’s wrong James?” he asks before you could answer Remus.

“Fucking y/n is recurting people into our relasonship now” he spit out with anger to your group all of your boys turn to look at you. “What does he mean y/n?” Remus said, starting to get noticeably upset. You shake your head trying to reassure them “I was joking when I asked if he could handle it, he is one of James' friends I was trying to be friendly.”

Sirius shook his head “There is no need to be friendly and don’t try to act like you wouldn't have our heads if we said the same thing, we have a right to be upset” he was right about that and you were out of words to say as you couldn't defend yourself anymore. Wrapping his arm around your waist Sirius leads you upstairs with Remus and James following behind you guys.

Sirius looks for an empty room and opens the door urging you guys to walk inside it. You walk inside and go to stand at the edge of the bed waiting to see how they were going to punish you. “Do you think it's funny to joke about our relationship to other people y/n?” Remums asked, waiting for your answer. You shook your head not trusting your voice at the moment.

“That's not good enough sweetheart get on the bed ass up face down” He demanded you nodded and took off your clothes before you walked over to the bed and got in position. You hear the jingle of a belt assume that one of them was taking their pants off before you feel a sharp pain on your ass cheek making you cry out and fist your hands on the sheets.

“We take this relationship very seriously, princess.” James explained before grabbing the belt from Remus and hitting your behind with it for the second time. Your ass was hot from the burning sensation but you also were starting to get wet in between your thighs. “Excatly we don’t take this relasonship serious just so you can fucking joke about it to the next person like a whore” Sirus joined in giving you on last hit with the belt before pulling down his pants to your coustume, walking towards the head board of the bed.

“Open up wide and make sure to breathe through your nose” He advised while rubbing your cheek pushing the tip of his cock through your lips throwing his head back at the contact of your warm mouth around him. “Wait a second James” Sirus said before James pulled his cock out of your mouth he grabbed your hand making you stand up on the bed and then went to lay under you naked. Reaching up he grabs your waist with one hand and then grabs his hard erection with the other.

He slowly pushes you down on his cock and you brace yourself on his chest already feeling so full of him. You lean over once again wrapping your lips around James cock bobbing your head as he moans into the quiet room. Remus was behind you preping your ass to take him before he circles his cock on the rim of your hole before he slowly pushes it in causing you to take in a sharp breath.

After a few seconds you guys were all moving in the same tempo and all you could hear in the room was the sound of skin slapping and you choking on James cock. All of your men are praising you for taking them so well at the same time. “Thank you so much for lettting us use you like this princess, fuck your making all of us feel so fucking good.” James said while looking into your eyes while he was fully fucking your face.

Your body was sweaty, drool was coming out of the corner of your lips and you were so wet from the pleasure that was being given to you right now. All of your holes were being stretched out by all the men you love and that fact turned you on even more as you felt yourself about to hit your breaking point. You moan around James cock and they can all tell you about to cum but that doesn't make them slow down their pace, it makes them go faster.

Tears sprung out of eyes as you crash in to your orgasm hard as all you can see is darkness from squeezing your eyes shut and you choke as your feel James cum in your mouth moving his hand to close around your throat making sure that he can feel you swallow all of it as Remus and Sirius overstimulate you with their cocks. “Good job sweetheart, you're taking us like such a good girl,” Sirus said, wrapping his mouth on your nipple, swirling his tongue around it, whimpering as he close to coming.

James connects his lips with yours before he moves one of his hands to your clit chuckling at how wet you were on his fingers. You could feel Remus behind you as he put kisses and bite marks on your shoulders. “Fuck were about to cum doll, gives us all you got pretty girl” Remus says sweetly as you whimper on James tongue as they all move in union bringing you to your second orgasm of the night as you feel Sirus and Remus fill both of your holes up as you fall apart on top of them.

James disconnects his lips from yours wiping the saliva off your lips with the fingers he pleased you with putting them in his mouth licking the mix of your cum and both of the saliva on his tongue. Remus and Sirius both pull out, helping you lay on the bed before wiping you off and carefully putting your clothes back on. After about 10 minutes you guys make yourself look presentable and walk out of the door and walking down the stairs join the party again.

James sees his friend from earlier and carefully moves his hand to sweep your hair to one side of your shoulder showcasing the bite marks and hickeys all of them have left on your skin.

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ddejavvu · 8 months

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Hi, i never really do this, but i was wondering if you could write something about remus comforting reader when she gets stood up?(totally not projecting 🥲) And then he ends up confessing that he likes her?

You're supposed to be out on a date. Remus knows this, because he'd been stalking off to the library to distract himself from the thought, but he'd stumbled upon you perched on a windowsill in the hallway outside of the library.

You don't look sad, but you don't look happy. You just look focused, but Remus sees your hand tremble as you turn the page of the book you're reading.

"Hey," He makes his presence known with a soft hum, walking up to stand beside you where you're nestled into the windowsill, "What happened to Hogsmeade?"

"Alexei didn't show," You inform him, voice carefully constructed to be nonchalant, "I got tired of waiting out in the snow."

Remus sets his hand over your free one that's sitting on your lap, feeling your skin chilled from the snow outside.

"Douche," Remus mumbles, but you catch it in the silence of the hallway and snort.

Remus takes your hand in his own and cups it, creating a soft, warm place for it to rest. You don't bother pushing him away, but if were anyone else, you'd tell them in no uncertain terms to fuck off and leave you alone to wallow.

"I wouldn't have done that," Remus doesn't know why he says it, but he does. He thinks it's probably equal parts sympathy and honesty; he's saying it to make you feel better, but it's not a lie.

"You wouldn't have asked me out to Hogsmeade on a Saturday morning," You laugh incredulously, quite possibly missing his point, "I'm surprised you're up this early, Remus, I don't usually see you before lunchtime."

"Well, I couldn't sleep," He grumbles somewhat bashfully, "I had a lot on my mind."

"Sorry," You hum sympathetically, your fingers curling around his to lock your hands together, "I would have brought you something from Honeydukes if I'd have known. Or- if I'd have gone."

He leans closer to you, and you relish how natural it is for you to tilt your head against his shoulder. He peers at the book you're reading, finding it to be a textbook rather than a novel, and groans.

"You still fancy a drink?" Remus asks, his voice almost hesitant as you lay against him on the windowsill.

"Hm? At the Three Broomsticks?"

"Yeah," Remus hums, "You shouldn't be studying for the charms exam yet, it's not for two weeks. You deserve a good day. And- uh, well, hopefully I'm good company."

Your eyes shine exceptionally bright when you tilt your head up to look at Remus, and he can't think of a single reason that Alexei, or anyone else in their right mind would have blown you off.

"You're excellent company, Remus," You gush, scrambling to stuff your things back into your bag, "I'll treat at Honeydukes, 'kay?"

"No, no," Remus shakes his head, "Don't worry about it. I meant it, you deserve a good day."

"Thanks," You slide down off of the windowsill, your hand still firmly interlocked with his own. You make no move to let go, merely tugging him down the hallway towards the staircases, "Are you sure you don't mind taking me? Weren't you headed to the library?"

"Not for anything important," Remus brushes away your concern, just to figure out a way to curse Alexei for the rest of the school year with bad breath and terrible hair.

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axelsagewrites · 7 months

Text

Kinktober 2023 List

Welcome to my first ever kinktober, a month long of smutty drabbles and one shots. Hope you all enjoy and if you want added to a charecter/fandom tag list so you dont miss anything let me know <3

NSFW under cut

Masterlist Here

Day one: discrete fun with Robb Stark – deciding to take his teasing to a new level Robb decides to take the sex toys out of the bedroom

Day two: marking with Jace Velaryon – jealous is an understatement for what Jace is feeling so he decides to fix his problems by showing everyone who you belong to

Day three: phone sex with Jamie Tartt – even though he loved to play the long nights away from you were almost impossible to bare so he often found himself hitting call at late hours of the night

Day four: body worship with Podrick Payne – Podrick feels honoured just to be able to touch your body and wants you to hear his praises

Day five: role reversal with James Potter – James is used to being in charge, but things change when one night you decide to give him a taste of his own teasing medicine

Day six: over stimulation with Jon Snow – Jon is eager to please but even more eager to make you a mumbling mess who doesn’t know their own name by the end

Day seven: stepcest/cam girl au with Daemon Targaryen – after Daemons new stepdaughter moves in daemon finds out her naughty little secret

Day eight: dubcon kidnap au with Ramsay Bolton – Ramsay can’t stand the idea of such a pretty creature going unappreciated any longer

Day nine: edging/orgasm denial with Rhanerya Targaryen – since you’re used to get everything you want Rhaenyra decides to show you good things come to those who wait

Day ten: throne/semi public sex with Danerys Targaryen – being the queen is a stressful job and it is your job to help your queen relax even if that means risking getting caught

Day eleven: knife play with Ivar the Boneless – people whisper and wonder how someone so sweet could marry someone so angry, but they don’t see what Ivar does when you’re underneath him

Day twelve: exhibitionism with Tormund – while wildlings talk freely about sex Tormund enjoys watching your blush at even the mention of it making it even more fun to tease you when you come to tend to his wounds

Day thirteen: primal play with Remus Lupin – usually when Remus runs around the forest its not by choice but tonight, he is chasing his favourite prey

Day fourteen: sex toys and teasing with Sansa Stark – after finding a sleek pink vibrator in her top drawer you decide to see what it can really do

Day fifteen: voyeurism with Aegon Targaryen – while you are visiting his family Aegon discovers a secret passage and what he accidentally sees through the cracks makes him want you instantly

Day sixteen: caught in the act with Roy Kent – when Roy came home all he wanted to do was curl up in bed with you but when he heard a buzzing from under the sheets his plans took a very different turn

Day seventeen: mommy kink with Cersei Lannister – while she may be rough and callous to most others Cersei finds herself dotting on her sweet girl in her chambers each night

Day eighteen: corruption kink with Alicent Hightower – a new septa arrive at court but none of the thoughts on Alicent’s minds are holy

Day nineteen: choking with Bjorn Ironside – you may have been captured by the enemies, but the punishment Bjorn gives you is starting to feel like a reward

Day twenty: bondage/wax play with Margaery Tyrell: people may whisper about her brother’s bedroom habits but none of them see the things she gets up to with her ladies’ maid

Day twenty-one: face fucking with Cregan Stark: to gain his loyalty Cregan demands that you earn it, and he enjoys watching the tears streak down your face as you do

Day twenty-two: daddy kink with Sirius Black – the word just slipped out one time but now it’s all Sirius wants to hear from your lips

Day twenty-three: brat taming with Sandor Clegane – after growing sick of a princess’s bratty attitude Sandor decides to teach her how to behave

Day twenty-four: thigh riding/dry humping with Ragnar Lothbrok – after taking a Christian girl prisoner he decides to show you the pleasure a heathen can feel

Day twenty-five: breeding kink with Ned Stark – there is a reason why Ned has so many children and it’s not as noble as many assume

Day twenty-six: collaring with Aemond Targaryen – not wanting to share Aemond decides to invest in something to show that you’ll always be his and only his

Day twenty-seven: double penetration with Jamie Tartt and Roy Kent: they both like you and when they came to settle it once and for all neither of them expected this out come

Day twenty-eight: mutual masturbation with Oberyn Martell – you always heard that the dornish were more sex positive than most, but you hadn’t expected Oberyn Martell of all people to show you just how good it could feel

Day twenty-nine: face riding with Heleana Targaryen – while Heleana appeared shy outside of your chambers when you, her maid, came to tend to her at night she was anything but shy

Day thirty: teacher student au with Jamie Lannister – he knew it was wrong to ask you to stay after class but after one too many short, short skirts he could no longer keep his thoughts at bay

Day thirty-one: orgy/group sex with Aegon, Aemond, Jace, Daemon, and Rhaenyra since after all sharing is caring

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ma1dita · 7 months

Text

my love, mine, all mine

based on this drabble : mean!remus

words: 2.8k

summary: Sometimes is not enough for someone who loves Remus this much.

warnings: mean!remus x fem!reader !!!! mentions of sex; much angst they both cry, a lot of kisses & a very open ending, situationship blues, remus is a self-deprecating piece of shit!!

a/n: thank you for the request anon! i watched the eras tour movie and thought of mean!remus and reader during ‘tolerate it’.... sooo don’t blame me for what you’re about to read. title is from a song by mitski <3 always down to flesh out mean!remus and lovely!reader more if yall want--feel free to send in more requests and comments <3

(posted & edited: 10/15/23)

—

Sometimes he lets you down easy. You’ve memorized his face by now, every minuscule detail and the way it hardens when he makes up his mind. Remus is very deep set in his ways, a creature of habit forced by the resolution of hiding in the nighttime, waiting for the darkness within himself to find him under the light of the full moon. You know the whisper of a smile that dances across his face when he sees you, the way a scar kisses his brow when you surprise him, the mechanical tightness of his jaw when he dissociates himself from your embrace.

There’s a particular way his eyes drop that resembles falling snow and it tells you that he’s about to let you down again, buried under him and his excuses. It’s heavy. You wonder how someone so gentle, so fragile can leave you feeling cold, but you bare yourself to him anyway, trudging through the hope that whatever is between you can be more than sometimes. You know him intimately, wholeheartedly. But does he know you? Sometimes is the keyword here, and yet it is tiring, all of the time.

Your breaking point had to have been something big, something explosive. It had to, or why else would this facade have lasted so long? Why did you let him? Perhaps it was when he kissed your neck after Potions, asking to meet up after dinner. He moved away before you could follow him out into the corridor and joined his friends instead. The boys looked back at you, wanting to wait but Remus kept walking on. Or maybe it was when you woke up in his bed again, his side cold and your clothes folded properly at the edge. Remus was propped against his desk, mumbling that he had a very busy day ahead, and the silence that followed was enough to make you leave. Always good enough to bed, but never wanted by morning. It’s best to act like he wasn’t the one who asked you to stay.

—

None of those moments ruined your perception of him though. It was the lightest feather touch of a reaction that shattered the glass. He was walking you back to your common room after prefect duties, and you squeezed his hand gently, swinging it back and forth.

“D’you want to study for midterms tomorrow in the library? We could try to get that little table in the corner you like…” you said nudging his shoulder. He sighed, and his breath was hot against the crisp winter air as it landed on your cheek. Remus’s silence was your answer, and of course, it hurt. You’d do anything for a half-assed utterance to fill the shrill noise of your hope filling the space between you right about now. But this time was different though. This time he truly didn’t care. Remus looked at you with dead eyes, his mind somewhere far from where you were standing with him.

“Not this time, lovely.” The boy was tired, and so were you. The physicality of it was apparent in the way his posture hung low, and the way your shoulders fell from the emotional avalanche that his lack of effort pushed down on you.

“It’s okay. I hope you get some rest then.” Your eyes study his face, gliding from the crinkle of his temples to the scar on his nose and the freckles across his cheeks. He grimaces at your response. You wonder if any part of him hurts like this too.

“Will I see you before we leave for winter break? Maybe you have time during the holiday.” Remus speaks quietly as if he’s the one being inconvenienced.

“Maybe,” you say. He makes a noise in recognition of that, nodding with his eyes closed. Stepping away from him, you turn to walk away before he’s behind you, lips against your hair.

“M’sorry.” He mumbles, breathing you in like wafting amorentia. His hands are shuffling through his pocket before he pulls out the wool mittens his mother knit for him the year prior.

“Shouldn’t let your pretty fingers freeze in the cold.” He puts them on you daintily snapping the buttons closed, his nose against your ear. The corridor is silent alongside the slow thud of your heart. You walk away wordlessly, shoulders pinched like a chill has traveled down your spine.

—

Remus doesn’t see much of you in the days before winter break. Between studying for exams and his monthly run-in with the moon, there isn’t much time to catch his breath. He knows the hold he has on your heart is a devastatingly gory scene. You’ve let him in deeply as he burrows in every fang and claw he has to offer you. And in turn, he takes what he can grab with his razor-sharp touch. He tries earnestly to be gentle but the more of you he caresses, the more blood he has to mop up.

His fingers are tapping on his forearm methodically as he waits for you outside of Transfiguration. Sorting through his thoughts as he waits for the rest of the class to finish the exam, Remus’ mind always falls back to you. Love is difficult, like many other aspects of his life, you see. He knows he loves his parents and his friends, but it makes him uncomfortable, much like someone undergoing anaphylaxis, to be honest with you. To lay himself out vulnerably to someone like you…He’s worried he’ll scare you off.

Students trickle out of McGonagall’s classroom, and you step out with your friends in tow, babbling about the exam. The feeling crawls up his throat as he tries to say something, but air and any coherent thought escapes him. What he feels for you has been making him do that a lot lately.

“Hey lovely.” he blurts out, body turning as he pushes off the wall in an attempt to catch your eye. But you keep rambling with your friends, throwing an arm over your roommate as you hardly spare him a glance. It’s not until your group reaches the end of the corridor that you look back at him for half a second, lashes fluttering as you turn back to your friends. And his heart is growing desperate, swelling, sighing as you continue to walk away.

—

You left for winter break without saying goodbye. The letters that he made his owl Nougat deliver to your bedroom window almost every day had you running out of treats to give her when she’d try to nip you for sending her back emptyhanded. Poor thing is getting fat.

Your mother is so intrigued by your behavior that one night as you feed your baby brother a spoonful of mashed potatoes, she asks you something you’ve been wondering yourself.

“Honey, do you have a boyfriend?” The silverware clinks against your plate as you contemplate the answer. How do you explain this to your mother? How do you explain him? Has he hurt you so much that you bare your soul to her in hopes that she’ll put her work away and listen? Yes, but you let him, the little voice in your head says, so the guilt inside you keeps your response prompt.

“I don’t think so,” you say, your lips drawn tightly. Your brother spits out some mash and it dribbles down his chubby cheek as he laughs at the sight of you making faces at him.

“What a mess, darling. Best clean it up.” You watch your mother’s eyes flit across your face instead of his before she says no more and goes back to cutting into her roast chicken. The napkin across your lap is wiped across his tiny face as you swallow hard.

What a mess, indeed.

After washing the dishes and excusing yourself, you crawl into bed staring at the ceiling. The moonlight shines brightly, a beam of light reflecting on the pile of unopened letters on your nightstand. Turning towards the wall, you shut your eyes and try to fall asleep.

You dream of him often. And in your dreams, he’s always just a little bit out of reach, always running away as you trip over snow-covered cobblestone, arms extended toward him. Though these dreams plague you, the realization hits that dreaming of him is better than your reality. In your dreams, your love is still pure and untouched. When you close your eyes you let yourself be the girl who was hoping at the beginning of it all.

—-

The day after Christmas a pair of tiny hands shake you awake. Your eyes shift open to see your three-year-old brother peering up at you, hands tangled in your duvet.

“Your fwend is outside,” he whispers almost comically loud as you rub the sleep from your eyelids.

“What?”

“Your fwend is outside. I saw him in the window. He looks cold, sissy.”

You scoop him in your arms, carrying him back into his room and tucking him under the covers before you shuffle out front, watching Remus lean against his beat-up car. Throwing your coat on, you walk down your driveway, meeting him in a flurry of hot breath and cautious smiles.

“You’re not Nougat,” you say, raising an eyebrow at him as you stop short at his feet, crossing your arms.

“She’s almost too fat to fly now. Thought I’d get a message to you myself.” he chuckles, and it makes you remember why you liked him in the first place.

“Fancy a ride?”

He props the door open for you, hand ghosting the curve of your back. As you step past him to take a seat, he pulls you in for a kiss. It makes your knees tremble, having deprived yourself of everything about him for the past few weeks. The kiss sucks you in deeper as you anchor yourself onto the nape of his neck, and he’s moaning into your mouth. You hope your little brother isn’t watching through the window.

He drives you around in silence, neither of you knowing what to say. The heat is on high as he finally stops at the park, and he looks over at you. This time last year, he taught you how to drive here, both of you anxious for two different reasons—you trying not to crash and him discerning if you like him back. You both had sex in the backseat after you got the hang of it, windows fogged up and steamy.

“Did you read my letters?” he starts, and you sigh before the end of his question. “No,” you mutter, looking out the window.

“Hey…What’s on your mind?” His fingers pull at your chin for you to look back at him, and you jolt back like he hurt you. You lean forward, pressing your palms into your eyes, breathing hard. He’s looking at you like he knows what’s coming, but he still hopes it’s not true. A boy made from Hope and of hope, that’s all he is. But it hurts to hope though. It hurts to hope for more when he knows he’s pushed you past your limits.

“There’s only so much you can expect of me, Remus. I’m just not sure I can do this anymore,” you whisper.

“Do what?” His voice is desperate and he’s hoping you won’t end this, even though you’re well in your right to do so.

“This. Whatever this is. Sometimes it feels like we’re together, but I know we’re not, and um… I’ve lost the plot. You’ve cut me too deep, Remus.” Your bottom lip is trembling as you croak out the words feeling sorry for yourself.

Remus leans his head against the window, knuckles white as he clutches the steering wheel. He’s going to lose you, and he’s petrified.

“Look, if this is because I haven’t spent time with you at sch–”

“It is. But not just that. There are many reasons,” you cut in, your head tilting as you look at him. “You don’t make time for me, you’re embarrassed to be seen with me half the time. You act like I’m your girlfriend and Remus, you lie, constantly. I can’t keep up with what you throw at me and it’s too much, okay? I’ve let you hurt me for too long.” You get through most of it without hiccupping, but he can’t do anything but watch as you wipe your tears away.

“Do you love me?” he pleads, and if he’s ruined it all by asking that, he can’t tell. His hands run through his hair and he thinks he’s ripped to you pieces at this point. The carnage of the truth sits in his passenger seat as you sit there motionless, staring out the windshield.

“That doesn’t make me yours, Remus. It never has. My love is mine. That’s the only thing you can’t take away from me.”

Remus chokes on a sob as he watches your resolve harden. The windows are fogging up and it’s getting hard for him to breathe.

“I’m so sorry…I just don’t even know how to tell you th—”

“That you have lycanthropy?” Somehow hearing it from your mouth doesn’t scare him. This confession and your candor makes the shame he’s carried with him all these years feel lighter.

“You can say it how it is, lovely. I’m a werewolf. I– The moon shows me who I really am. A monster. I-shouldn’t…I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already have.”

Your hand brushes against his cheek, pressing the tears into the indents of your fingertips as you wipe away his sorrow. He does hurt like you do. And you’d take it all away if you could.

“A monster doesn’t worry about if they hurt people they love. You didn’t mean to hurt me, did you?”

He sniffs, wiping his nose with his sweater as he shakes his head. Both of you brush over the notion of love. There is a time and place for that, and it sure as hell isn’t right now. He’s being vulnerable to you for once, so you tell him what he needs to hear.

“You’re not a monster, Remus. You have a big heart, and you’re wonderfully sweet, but sometimes your actions hurt. I know….everything about you. And from the reasons I can’t do this anymore, lycanthropy isn’t even in the top 10.” You lean towards him, noses touching.

“But I never said I regret it.”

You wish you could find better words to tell him he’s not as damned as he thinks he is. That anyone is deserving of love, especially him, but it’s hard to convince him that. Remus surges the small distance to meet your lips, and you can’t help but indulge, because if he’s damned then so are you, pulling him over the console as he sighs in relief.

—-

Later, he drives you home, one hand on your thigh rubbing circles as you watch his side profile, less taut, but without a smile. The secret’s out, and there’s not much left to do but navigate the bloodbath. He hopes that he’s able to pick up the pieces and do you right. Remus pulls into your driveway and the car engine rumbles lowly as you sit, unmoving.

The door unlocks and he waits for you to make a move. Your hand glides over the door handle before you turn instead to look at him and his hand is extended towards you, a millimeter away from yours.

“I really am sorry. For treating you like shit.” he sighs.

“I know.” A smile graces your lips as you lean in and you kiss him again tenderly, once, then twice. It soothes the tightness of his jaw and he hopes you don’t hate him after all of this. The passenger door opens, and you climb out and look at the sky. It’s snowing. He watches you standing there, snowflakes sticking to your hair.

“I do love you, Remus,” you admit, biting your lip. “Isn’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?” The laugh that follows is humorless, his eyes wide as you shut the door. Trudging your boots through the snow, a shiver wracks your body. You peek back at the car once you get in the house and give him a kind smile before you step in.

Remus sits there with the weight of your devotion. Brave in all aspects but love, he hopes you can wait a little longer for him to catch up. For now, his eyes fall to the passenger seat as he shifts the gear into reverse. His wool mittens occupy the seat. Your hands must be cold again.

—-

“Sometimes, home is not a home, but a claw lodged inside you. A river you step into because it holds light. You are waist deep, wading in what mauls you.”

-Athena Nassar

love me some tunes! i listened to this while writing: my love, mine, all mine by mitski & sleep tight by holly humberstone

taglist: @jsjcue

#made by ma1dita ♥︎#remus lupin x reader #marauders era #remus lupin is a self deprecating mf!!!#remus lupin x you #marauders x reader

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bibbityboppitybillyharvgrove · 5 months

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A Happy Christmas - R.Lupin

Summary - Remus and his wife have a tradition they follow every Christmas Eve, wrap the remainder of their children’s gifts and pull an all-nighter to get some extra alone time together.

Word Count - 821

Warnings - Female Reader, Potter!Reader(No physical description given), use of Y/N, Not sleeping (Let me know if I missed any)

Author's Note - Welcome to day 9 of 25 days of fics! I know that this one is later than usual and I apologize. I'm super sick at the moment with a bad head cold so I'm trying! I hope you enjoy!

Harry Potter Masterlist

my masterlist

25 days of fics masterlist

Feedback is welcomed and encouraged

Enjoy!

not my gif

It was Christmas Eve, snow was falling, the fireplace crackling and the children were sleeping. Now Remus never thought he would have a life like this because of his furry little problem but he was happy that he was proven wrong. Y/N Lupin, once Y/N Potter, had been his wife for nearly 10 years, the two of them getting married right after graduating Hogwarts. James was always their biggest advocate and number one supporter no matter what.

They usually spent Christmas together, at James and Lily’s house so the kids could all be together. Being with family was the most important thing to Y/N, she always had someone with her when she was running errands or doing some housework. She was never alone so of course she wanted to spend the holidays surrounded by loved ones. James offered to host because, simply put, his house was bigger and could hold more people easier, thanks to professionally playing quidditch.

All of the adults in the house were still awake, rushing around to get last minute gifts into the house or wrapped up with pretty paper to be put under the tree and torn open a few hours later. James and Lily had just finished up putting Harry’s things under the tree before calling it a night and going to bed themselves. This left Y/N and Remus alone and awake, wrapping the last of their childrens’ gifts.

They could do it with magic but both of them preferred the muggle way, wrapping the gifts by hand. That's why it usually took them twice as long to get everything wrapped and put away. This was their routine every Christmas Eve: wrap the presents together, put them under the tree and spend some quiet time together, knowing everyone was sound asleep.

As they finished putting the gifts under the tree, they took the time to just hold each other and watch the snow fall outside the window, just enjoying each other’s company. Y/N also never thought that she would have a life like she does now, she never thought that Remus reciprocated her feelings. She never thought she was good enough for him but to him, she was more than enough. She was the love of his life, the one person that he would protect with every fiber of his being. Once the kids came along, he knew that he would never give this life up for anything. He would kill for his family, he would sacrifice himself for his family because he knew that they would do the same.

They watched as the sun began to rise, the birds chirping outside, the footsteps of the kids running down the stairs followed by James and Lily’s lazy ones. When James took notice of his sister and his friend, he smiled sleepily knowing exactly what had occurred. “You two never went to sleep, did you?” He asked the pair.

“No, we stayed up watching the snow. Lost track of time. Happy Christmas James,” His sister responded, smiling right back at her big brother.

“Happy Christmas Y/N.”

“Mummy, daddy, can we open our gifts now?” The youngest Lupin boy asked innocently as he hugged her leg.

“Go on then, they aren’t going to open themselves,” Remus teased as he ruffled his son's hair.

With the proper go ahead, the three children tore into their gifts, paper flying all over the place. The parents huddled together, watching the delight in their children’s eyes as they took in all of their new toys and clothes. Little Harry was especially excited to see his very own broom gifted by his aunt Y/N and uncle Moony. This was the life that they wanted to live and enjoyed every second of it.

“Happy Christmas my love,” Remus said quietly to his wife as he handed her a small wrapped box.

“Happy Christmas Remmy,” She replied, handing him his gift. The two of them opened them together as the kids all giggled in the background. Remus had given her a gorgeous necklace that held two interlocking hearts that held their initials. Y/N had given him a new sweater, one he had been eyeing up the last time they went out to the shops together. “There’s something else under the sweater,” She hinted to him.

So he took out the sweater to reveal an ultrasound picture. “You’re kidding? Please tell me this isn’t a joke,” He had a wide smile on his scarred face, excited at the fact that they were bringing another kid into the world.

“It’s not. We’re having another baby!” She exclaimed, James and Lily immediately ending their conversation as they overheard. Remus engulfed his wife into a tight hug, lifting her off of the ground as he laughed happily.

The whole house was overjoyed with the news, everyone smiling big and giving hugs wherever they could. It was a typical Lupin-Potter Christmas.

#remus lupin x reader #remus lupin #james & peter & remus & sirius #moony #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #james potter #harry potter #prongs #james potter x sister!reader #remus john lupin #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x y/n #marauders #the marauders #marauders era #remus lupin imagine

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industrations · 8 months

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I'm scared that I’ll forget the way it feels.

It’s dark and cold in the small, dingy London flat. Remus doesn’t remember the last time he’d been able to pay for the electricity bill. He’s sitting on the ground in front of the sofa; sometimes, it feels safer. His hands are freezing, and his bones ache. He pulls the wool of his jumper down over his shaking fingers as he reaches for the video camera, turning it on.

Lily’s freckled face comes into view, her emerald eyes bright as she looks up at him behind the lens. “Come on give me that.” There is some rustling as Lily takes over the camera, and he himself comes into view looking awkward, scratching his head.

“Why Do I have to do it? It’s my camera.”

“Because you’re always filming us, and I want to have memories of you too.”

“Lily-”

“Come on, show them!” The camera shakes as Lily hops excitedly. They’re in Lily’s kitchen, and there is flour covering all the surfaces. He sees himself turn around to pick up a lopsided cake. Sixteen candles make a circle around the wobbly letters. ‘Happy birthday Sirius’

Remus quickly switches through the following videos. Peter’s cheeks are red from the cold as he changes into wormtail, jumping through the fluffy layers of snow. James is on his broom, telling them to watch as he does tricks, diving and soaring through the air. At a party, Marlene, Mary, and Lily standing on the table singing the lyrics to Dancing Queen.

His breath catches at the first sound of the barking laugh that spills out of the tiny speakers. Sirius is as beautiful as Remus always remembers. They’re by the ocean, and his black hair whips around him wildly as the shallow waves lick at their feet.

“Moony, moony watch this!” Remus watches as Sirius creeps up to James, jumping on him and dragging him into the waves. James shrieks as they both hit the water.

“Padfoot, you bastard!” They’re laughing and start wrestling, trying to pull the other under. Remus presses the arrow button, and the next video appears.

Sirius in bed, his hair strewn around the pillow around his head like a halo. Mismatched sheets rumpled around him. He lazily turns to face the camera and scrunches his nose when he sees that Remus is filming. “What,” he says, trying to look stern, but his eyes tell a different story.

“Tell me what you just said.” Sirius buries his head into the pillow, and Remus pokes his side, making him jump. “C’mon pads, own up to it.” Sirius turns his head slightly, peeking out with one eye, cheeks flushed with a wide grin.

“I love you more than James.”

The screen goes black. And it’s cold, so very cold. Remus shakes as tears drip onto the tiny screen. He runs to the bathroom and dry heaves into the toilet. His lungs ache from all the smoking. But above all, it hurts; it aches so much as the memories flash before his eyes.

Every week. Every single week, Remus does this. He sits on the floor in his tiny, freezing flat and pulls out the camera. Every week, he clicks through the videos, heart pounding, burning in his chest. Every week, his breath catches when he hears that laugh. And every week, it stings and nags and throbs, eating at his insides. But Remus is scared. Scared that he’ll forget the way it felt, the way it feels. He takes out the camera every week again and again to prove that this was real. That he was real.

#i-#i'm sorry #i'm in a mood #uhm #yeah.#no excuse really #remus lupin the love of my life #writing tag

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reysdriver · 4 months

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Remus In December

Headcanons about post-Hogwarts Remus in December and around the holidays

warnings: none

words: 0.4k

- I feel like people may disagree with me on this but Remus is not a winter guy

- He loves fall over anything else and he gets kind of annoyed to see it turn into winter after the best season ever

- He does love the food and drinks during the holidays tho

- Like literally this man has never had a cold drink in his life, and so he loves cider, tea, hot chocolate, and all those

- Plus I can see him with a candy cane in his mouth constantly, especially if he's trying to quit smoking (because the only thing hotter than a man smoking is a man quitting smoking)

- He's okay at wrapping gifts. Like if it's boxy he can do it, but everything else, he'll just throw it into a bag

- Also the king of personal gifts. It's partly because he doesn't have as much money as Sirius and James so he can't beat them there, but he always goes the personal, heartfelt route with gifts (and slays it every time)

- Wears the warmest, coziest clothes (as always, but especially in the winter)

- Has no less than a million candles burning all season

- Simple decor, he definitely has like those popcorn and cranberry garlands plus like dried oranges and all that

- Doesn't like christmas songs other than that like slow, chill music you would hear at a classy christmas party

- He's the kind of guy to say shit like "I just want to spend time with my friends and family" when anyone asks him what he wants, but it's a lie because he definitely wants new books, sweaters, candles, and more

- Remus engages in some holiday baking and makes some mean ass cookies every single year

- Perfect for cuddling or even just warming your hands in these cold times because he's a walking space heater for sure

- He is the mean voice of reason and tells the other marauders not to eat snow or icicles because rooftops and the ground are disgusting

- He enjoys the season, as long as he's inside and warm and comfortable during this often uncomfortable time of the year

#remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x you #remus lupin fanfiction #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin headcanon #marauders era #marauders fanfiction #marauders fluff #marauders headcanon #christmas

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paramouradrift · 5 months

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Nine People You'd Like To Get To Know Better

I was tagged by @transboyzuko, and it's been a minute since I've done anything like this so here goes:

Three Ships: RMS Olympic, RMS Titanic, HMHS Britannic. The only three Olympic-class ocean liners ever built by Harland & Wolff for the White Star Line. Titanic's story is well-known, of course. Britannic was a hospital ship in World War I until she hit a mine in the Aegean and sank. Olympic's career lasted 24 years before she was retired and sold for scrap. Why do I know this? Because I have a morbid fascination with maritime disasters.

First Ever Ship: Heero Yuy/Duo Maxwell. I grew up watching Mobile Suit Gundam Wing on Toonami, and these boys were my bias. I still hold this fic up as one of the best I've ever read. Although, thinking about it, my first actual ship was probably Sirius Black/Remus Lupin via The Shoebox Project by dorkorific and ladyjaida, which I first read on Livejournal. But that was less something I actively shipped and more a ship I actively enjoyed.

Last Song: Hypomania, by Coping Method. My music taste currently vacillates between dance pop/electronica and heavy metal.

Last Film: Uh. Fuck, I dunno. I don't watch a lot of movies anymore. I did do a double Barbenheimer over the summer, though.

Currently Reading: So This Is Ever After by F. T. Lukens and Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson, but progress has been slow. Just prior to starting them both I devoured the Simon Snow trilogy, though, so maybe I just have poor time management skills.

Currently Watching: myself age by steady increments. I also don't watch a lot of TV or streaming series, although that's less from lack of desire to watch and more from being busy with other things. Well, I have been watching Money, Explained, but that's for work and does not therefore count.

Currently Consuming: I'm between hyperfixations at the moment. I have been working my way through Bret Devereaux's collected blog posts on the Battle of Helm's Deep to cope.

Currently Craving: rice. And the next part of Dog's In Love 2. But I can get rice.

I guess I'll tag some folks. Do I even interact with you people enough for this? I'unno. Let's go with: @chiptrillino, @lizardlicks, @three-lesbians-of-the-apocalypse, @schrodingers-bisexual, @deliciousstrawberrythings, @portraitoftheoddity, @sixseisliu, @persnickety-peahen, and @astrababyy

#tag meme #tumblr game #idk #ignore me

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futurewriter2000 · 9 months

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Warm Enough

A/N: Spent all day writing this with some distractions in between but I love it! LOVE IT! I still got it.

REQUEST: Post!Azkaban Sirius is really burned out with Grimmauld Place but he absolutely refuses to go outside in the snow no matter how many jackets he has on bc the cold reminds him of the dementors in Azkaban and reader helps him work through it.

(REQUESTS ARE CLOSED)

He slept... and slept... and slept...

The curtains were covering the little light that was trying to make way to that darkened room- the room that never changed, not one thing was moved since he left it. His desk was covered in papers from his Hogwarts days, some awful written essays about potions for Professor Slughorn and there were drawings of werewolves, vampires, ghouls and charicature of Remus and Peter from their boy ages. Peter had overly large eyes and thick glasses stuck on him, mustache and some pimples, meanwhile Remus had large ears, awfully crooked nose and half missing teeth. It was funny back then because James and Sirius both drew that together during Arithmancy class. James had a talent for drawing, everybody that knew him knew that and Sirius, growing up by his side, managed to pick that up as well. Never good as James... in anything... James was always better. So why was it that it had to be James the one that was murdered and not him. Sirius would give anything to have switched places. James would handle all of this so much better than he did.

Sirius’ sides were hurting from laying in the bed but it was as if the gravity was pulling him into the matress. His pillow felt uncomfortable though and so did every position he tried to fall back asleep. He hasn’t looked much around his room since he came back. He hasn’t noticed the past, whteher that was a conscious decision or sub-conscious. All he ever saw was his bed that always seemed to pull him into slumber. Why he woke up? The dreams started to turn into nightmares. Memories would hunt him, sometimes good memories from his boy days and sometimes memories from his 20′s- those he would suppose to enjoy the most. He didn’t. He spent it in the cold and darkness, that was why the bed was so inviting. It was warm, so warm and comforting.

He heard a knock on the door and a head peered through. He lifted his head a bit, only to see the shape or the little sign to know who it was.

“May I come in?” said the voice.

He wailed quietly and shuffled himself amont the silk sheets. Maybe he did despise his family but at least they bought silk.

“I will take that as a yes.” the person shuffled in the room and closed the door. “Blimey, Sirius. What are you- a vampire?” the curtains broke open and there was more light in the room, shining over every piece of furniture that hid in the dark for all these years. The person opened the door widely and the freezing, sharp cold burst in against the skin, causing the reaction of goosebumps.

“I’d like to sleep.”

“It’s three pm.”

“I’ll get up at four.” he shuffled his head in the sheets as the cold reached his nose far too quick.”

He could feel the infamous glare- the one only you could make to make him quirk a smile. You crossed your arms over and smirked.

“So this is your room.” you let go of the hold and let your hands roam free over the furniture. “It does match your personality quite well- OH! A pony bike!” you laughed and made your way to it. Blue and a bit dusty but it would still probably work if you tried it.

He peeked through the sheets and started to watch you wander.

For some odd reason, you wore pink shirt and a black trainer. He’s not used to you wearing such light colours, especially pink. You were more of a moddy, dark teenager as he remembered, just like most of them were. Your figure was womanly, curves in all the right places and your hands- your whole body moved so delicatly, elegantly over his room.

You came over his desk and saw the drawings hiddent underneath the paper.

‘James’ - you thought and smiled as you saw his usual drawing style. Your smile widened at the sight of the charicatures. You didn’t want to open this theme though. Not in front of him. Not when he slept for so long in the darkness of his own home. You knew this subject always opened a wound in him- a wound that resulted in fury and revenge.

“Cannot believe you still have Slughorn’s paper.” you grabbed it and started reading it, laughing midway. “And it’s horrible.” you laughed and he rolled his eyes, laying on his back.

“Well, I despised Potions and that man was all about Snape and Lily being the best of the best of his favorite, perfect little apprentices.” he mocked and you laughed, making his way towards him.

You laid on the bed next to him, placing your arms on top of his chest as you did almost 20 years ago. The two of you never dated but you both were in the same friendgroup. Back then you found him quite childish and annoying but you’ve always cared about him. It was a bit sad there was only three of you left... four if you count the rat Peter.

He smiled at the sight. He never told you that back then but whenever you did that, drunk or not, he always felt such a rush of heat rush his body. His heart would go into a whole new world of high rollercoaster rides and Merlin, the face you made- the look you gave him with those glimmering eyes- the glimmer that never seemed to go away throughout the years. He felt himself sweat onto his perfect silk and the cold never seemed too cooling enough to bring down his tempeture.

“I miss those times sometimes.” you said, looking into his eyes as he gazed into yours.

“Yeah... I never imagined it would en up like this, you know?”

“There can still be a happy ending, you know?” you said, drawing circles on his chest but he hated that because it made him arouse and so he put his hand on top of yours to stop. “Sorry.” you said. “I forgot.” You knew he hated that, you just thought it was because he hated it in general, not the real reason behind it.

There was a moment of silence and for the longest of time, he wanted to ask you this quiestion. “Did you believe it?”

You lied down next to him, staring at the ceiling. “Believe what?”

“That I did it.”

You knew it was going to be something among those lines but you were going to answer it truthfully. “I didn’t...at first. I couldn’t- it didn’t make any sense to me. From all the years I have known you, I just couldn’t put your personality and that action together.” you paused and looked at him. The two of you were so close, in his bed and that made you not only nervous but extremely, beaucoup nervous.

“And then?” he asked, watching every facial movement you made.

“I had to... somehow believe it.” you sat up from the guilt, even though he didn’t blame you for one bit. He believed he killed them too, if he was truly honest with himself... but he wasn’t. “Somebody had to take the blame and after years, I had to point at somebody because I was still so mad that they died. Especially when I saw Harry on the news- something inside of me just exploded. I was angry because there was logic fighting with me and the need to blame somebody for it. Peter was supposed to be dead, you know? And everything led to you. So either I was going to get crazy for not believing it or I should just accept it and have peace.” you turned back to him and he was smiling a bit. Shocked, you furrowed your eyebrows and asked: “What?”

“You’re just so funny when you care what I think.” he sat up as well, feelig the pain in his legs burn from all the lying around. Yet it was too cold for him and he had to close the windows. He had to.

“You laugh but I felt so guilty when Remus told me the truth. It was the shock all over again.” you walked behind him. “I don’t understand why didn’t you just tell us the truth?”

“Would that have made any difference?” he said as he turned around from the window only to find you standing close to him... too close. “James was dead. Lily was dead and like you said- all evidence pointed to me. If nothing I was guilty of attempted murder.” he started to walk out of the room, you following.

“It would have made all the difference in the world.” you started to raise your voice a bit and he noticed that, bringing up his hot-headed temper.

“I really don’t want to talk about that, right now, (y/n).” he gritted his teeth.

“Well, not talking about it won’t make it go away.”

“I know that.” he turned towards the kitchen.”

“It would have made a difference to Harry, to Remus- to me!” you started to shout as he burst into the kitchen and you right behind him.

He opened the cupboards quite aggressively and you could see he was a bit furious.

You wanted to be furious- you did. You wanted to explode and make a whole mess about it but you knew... that wouldn’t bring you any satisfaction. It would only make chaos.

You could see it in his eyes- those angry, feisty dark grey eyes that you shouldn’t make a storm out of rain, so you took a deep breath in and put your hand on top of his. “I’m sorry.” you said softly and you could feel his hand relax, the veins on top of his slim fingers disappear back into its depths and his eyes soften.

He closed one of the cupboards and leaned onto the counter.

“I just don’t like to get reminded of my mistakes, (y/n). That’s all.” he said, looking at you through those dark curls of his that fell in front of him. “Don’t you think I know what I did? And every day I was reminded in that cell... every day of those 12 years.” he let out a pitiful laugh, turning around to lean his backside on the counter and crossing his arms over his chest. “You lot kept me alive.” he continued to smile. “And you also made me fall in the darkest corners of my soul.” his smile now faded. “I was trapped in that stupid cell, filled with rage and revenge and you were out there living your best lives- living your twenties how we talked about we would.” he sighed, trying not to look at you but you made him do it by standing in front of him. He wanted to continue but you already wrapped your arms around his neck and squeezed him tight. He let go of his arm hold and wrapped his arms around your torso, sighing and nuzzling close into your neck.

“Should we go for a walk?” you whispered into his shoulder and he gently pulled away, looking down into your eyes. “To breathe- to clear your head?” you smiled but he only moved away and moved his head sideways as a no.

“I don’t really want to.” he walked towards the fridge to get some milk. “Plus everybody would recognise me.”

“I know this path in the back- it’s really nice and brings a lot of solitude. It’s quite enchanted now that it’s all covered in a white coat.”

But that didn’t convince him.

“I don’t really want the cold.” he poured the milk into a cup and put the cup into microwave.

“Why don’t you just heat it on the stove? It’s faster.” you judged immediately.

“It’s faster in the microwave.”

“It’s faster on the stove.”

“But the milk gets all burnt on the bottom.”

“You pour a bit of water on the bottom.”

“Too much work.”

“You’re too much work.” you now bickered and he laughed. “Anyways, it’s snowing and you just put the jacket on- come on.”

“No jacket would be enough to keep me warm- even if I turned into a bear- I won’t.” he stood next to the microwave, crossing his arms again and you mimicking him.

“You’ve been stuck in here for too long. Don’t be a lazy sod and go for a walk.”

“No.”

“What do you mean no? Are you afraid of little snowflake?” you started to tease. “Will it wet your perfect curls? Newsflash, they’ll start to fall off soon anyway.”

“Oi! Don’t mess with receeding hairline- alright.” he started to comb his hair. “Our genes are strong.”

“Not all genes make it.”

“Oh, sod off.” he waved his hand in front of you and pulled the cup out. “You’re just jealous of it.”

“It’s overrated.” you mocked and he chuckled.

“Come on, I’m serious.” you leaned on the counter in front of him, pleading with your eyes. “It’s just a little snow. We used to love it.”

He kept his eyes on yours and he could feel his knees giving into it more than his soul did. No... that was a lie. His soul would succumb to you, especially when you acted like that.

Almost though.

“It’s not the snow that bothers me.” he mumbled and walked past you, into the living room.

Again, you followed him. “Then what is it?”

You couldn’t figure it out. Nothing really happened. James and Lily died on the end of October and nobody’s birthday was in January that you know of... so what is it.

“I just don’t like the cold.” he sat down and turned on the TV, sipping on his choco.

“It’s not even that cold. It’s barely 8 degrees. It’s not even on zero.” you rolled your eyes and sat down beside him.

“If you want to go, then go. I’m not.” he started to speak with a sharper tone.

You sat there, speechless. You really didn’t understand this man. You knew he wasn’t the same man as he was 12 years ago but there was something in Sirius that always screamed adventure. He wasn’t an introvert and he wasn’t the one that would hate to go outside. If you could find him anywhere in Hogwarts, it was definitely outside. So it made you sad to see him like this. See somebody so down... but you won’t force him to go out either. It doesn’t feel right.

“I just wanted to make you feel better.” you mumbled as you got up and left the living room.

You didn’t look back. You couldn’t because of all the tears that were gathering in your eyes. It felt such a big rush of emotions climbing up from the bottomless you threw them all these years ago. It felt like grief... but not for James and Lily and the other friends you lost in that war. It was for Sirius because that day, you lost him too and you felt so much love inside of you that you had nowhere to give. Yes, he was imprisoned for 12 years and he must have suffered the loss but did that mean that your problems, your grief, your importance was less worthy than his because your problems were smaller than his. You went through a lot after Sirius was imprisoned. The hours of questioning, the terror in those nights that followed, insomnia, anxiety attacks, tears of loss- losing one person by one- counting down the days of when this is all going to be over. He may have been imprisoned, far away from all of that- he didn’t get to see others slip away slowly and he didn’t have family that fought in those.

You wiped the tears away from your eyes and washed your hands, opening the doors widely before seeing him appear in front with an apologetic look in his eyes.

You couldn’t, however. Not when your thoughts and emotions were raging inside of you. The bells of the past rang so loudly in your head that you pushed past him and walked into your room.

He followed.

You couldn’t say anything. There was something squeezing your heart so tightly right now that you only faced away from him, towards the white snow in front of you, a window glass seperating the two of you. Tears wanted so badly to climb up but you fought them with all your might. He won’t see you cry. He just won’t.

But he knew. He knew you were upset and he knew why. You could have stayed in your apartment, enjoying your normal life, going to work, watering plants if you had any, going out with your friends, working on your hobbies... and you’re throwing all that away to spend your days with him, closed up in this house and trying to give him any feeling of normal you can. Hell, he should be even thankful that you decided to speak to him. You were always the toughest in the friend group, yet somehow the most understanding one.

“It was cold there...” he started, sitting down on your bed and watching you face him your back. “And at first I didn’t mind it. I felt like I deserved it. I felt like I killed them all.” he said. “I didn’t know what was happening outside those walls and I preffered it that way. James was dead and he was the only thing I kept thinking about. I didn’t think about Lily or Harry or anybody really. James was always so much more than my best friend and I loved him- God, I loved him... even if he was so much better than me in every possible way, I couldn’t envy him because I loved him so much. He was everything I had. His parents were gone and then he was gone and without him... I just couldn’t function properly.” he looked up at you but you didn’t move, he could only see your reflection in the mirror, looking back at him. “And at first, the revenge, the fury inside of me was keeping me warm so the cold didn’t really matter but when that faded away, I could feel my toes freeze up. I walked up and down the cell, every day. Eight thousand steps every day... a few jumping jacks to get my blood pumping if I had any energy inside me left but it only lasted around 20 minutes. Then cold hit... again.” he said and suddenly, he could feel you sit beside him and the way your cherry blossom lotion made its way into his nostrils.

He didn’t dare to look at you. Not now when he was so vulnerable. The only thing he could do was look at your hand and wanting its warm touch to give him comfort as it always did... but it didn’t. It was just there... in his vision... so far away. Touch his arm, his thigh, his hair... anything- he wants it so badly when all his emotions are in chaos.

He looked away, gathering his thoughts. “I could deal with Dementors for a while as well but that didn’t last either. There were some days, months even, especially in the winter when the food was hard, tasteless and... well, cold... not much of it either. I started to lose my energy to do those walks or jumping jacks or to move a muscle. I laid there on that bed and tried to warm myself with all the clothes and blankets I could muster. I was weak and Dementors... it’s like they smell you and he came and I was sleeping when I felt it. I was so confused and-and-” he lost his train of thoughts as his eyes moved left and right on the ground as if he still couldn’t believe he let himself get caught like that.

Then there it was. That warmth, right between his lats, down his spine to his toes and up to his arms. It was like a relief and he could finally look at you, looking back at him with tear-filled eyes and a comforting smile- the one that he adored so much. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” you said and he smiled, tears dripping down as he grabbed your face between his palm and leaned his forehead on yours.

“Oh, no!” he smiled so brightly and looking at you. “I want to tell you what I did next.” he said and put your hands into his, kissing the top of it and making you smile. “When you want a Dementor to leave you alone, you had to think of your happy memories and if I tried to think of James, I could only think of the grief and the pain his death left on me. And I thought so hard to think of something happy and I thought of you.” he leaned his chin on top of your hands and watched you with a smile, eyes gilstening from all the tears that continued to fall. He was in too deep now. “Whenever you walked into the room it was always lighter, wasn’t it? Everybody loved you and the way you bickered with James- it was the most funniest thing in the world. He simply adored you though- everybody did because you were this light in everybody’s lives. People came to you like magnets and you sort of ran away from them sometimes.” he laughed and you laughed with him.

“It was a gift I didn’t really like.”

“But you accepted them anyway.” he continued. “And besides James, you were the only one that could make me say things out loud- whenever I had any girl problems or army- I could tell you the most random things I thought in the middle of the day because you were so easy to talk to- so accepting of everybody and everything but you still had your boundaries. You were the one people came to when they needed something because no matter what, you had it and you didn’t judge us for it. And I remembered that day we got wasted with Remus in our room and you would lay down on me like you do, look at me with your eyes and I would just fall in love all over again with you- every time. That day and the day you looked at me in your black skirt and white shirt underneath the blazer. And another day when you would just lay your head on my shoulder and I would tell you to sod off but when you did it, it was the best thing.” you laughed a bit because you knew it was true. You liked to flirt with all the boys in the friend group but it was always innocent, except with Sirius because he was the one that was always single and the two of you would always mess around. You knew the two of you liked each other but it never felt right at the time.

“You fancied me.” you gooed at him and he smiled.

“I still do.” he brought your hands closer to his chest. “Back then it really felt like a casual fancy but the dementor left and I could find myself on the ground smiling at the memory of you- then it hit me. I need to know what happened to you and there was nobody there to tell me what- so I stayed hopeful that please, not you. And it was a horrible thought to have but I prayed and I wished that if I ever get out of here, you would still be alive.”

“And I am.” you smiled.

“You are. It was one of the first things I checked before I ran for Harry.” he laughed, thinking back. “You were out with a friend and laughing so much with her- and she was quite funny.”

“You stalker.” you fooled around and he laughed.

“I was for a bit but I couldn’t face you back then... and I couldn’t face cold again because I spend 12 years in that tempeture, shivering and surviving- felt as if it was the second version of Hell nobody mentioned before... and every winter since I just... I can’t face it.”

You watched his head fall back down and you knew you had to understand him... but you also understood fear and fear was not real.

“You’re not there anymore.” you said. “You’re here and if you continue to think that this cold is the same cold as it was in Azkaban, then you are still stuck there.” you continued as he watched. “And I’m here... not Dementors or any other prisoner- me.” it was your turn to place your palms underneath hsi jaw and scrunch your nose. “And my torture is different. I can bring you out and shove your face into the snow just like I did every time.”

“No you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did.”

“No, James shoved your face into the snow.”

“That’s debatable. It has been a long time, your memory must be foggy.”

“I think I can remember (y/n) the Snowman.”

“Turning mean now, aren’t we?”

He only laughed.

“And you know what... if you get cold I’ll be right there to bring you back into your warm home.”

He smiled, seeing so much of you in this entire moment that the two of you shared and it clicked, just like it clicked all these years before... “I think you are my warm home.”

#sirius black x reader #sirius black #sirius black imagine #sirius black imagines #marauders #marauders imagine #marauders era #maruaders imagine #marauders imagines #james potter #remus lupin

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lumosinlove · 4 months

Text

Christmas Eve Will Find Me

Five: Finn

Church Ruin

Athens, Greece

Finn couldn’t look away. He had bundled Logan in both of their coats, one unzipped and pulled up higher to cushion his head against the rough stone of the wall. He’d used one of Leo’s alcohol packets to clean his face. Everything was the same. The brush of his long eyelashes against his cheek, the tilt of his head against the wall and the soft curl of his fingers into his palm. The warm olive of his skin. The sound of his breathing in his sleep—or whatever this was. If Finn blinked, Logan was going to disappear again.

He kept choking up. Kept crying, silent, and then wiping at his cheeks when the wind chilled his tears. He kept touching Logan, careful to let him rest but needed to feel his warm skin. He wanted to crawl inside those doubled coats, press his cheek against his chest, listen to his heartbeat.

“Anything new?”

Finn sniffed from the cold as Leo crouched down beside him. He shook his head. “No. Just this.”

Leo made a sympathetic sound. “It’s good that you’re staying close to him. But I wanted to tell you, the boys think we should head to one of the islands. Hide out until we can figure out how to reach Remus. We can’t lie low here very well, not in a city.”

“But how…” The fear seized him again, his throat constricting. “Leo, what if he doesn’t wake up?”

“He will,” Leo said.

“What if he doesn’t know me when he does?”

“I hope he will.”

“What if he needs a doctor? What if he dies?”

“No,” Leo said. “I won’t let him.”

“You’re not a doctor. You’re a lot of things but you’re not that.”

“Don’t I know it, but they’ll be watching the hospitals, Finn. We can’t.”

Finn looked over at him. Leo’s face was taut, blue eyes taking Logan in. His eyes, his mouth, his hair, his hands. Finn liked that. He liked watching Leo look at Logan like that. Like he understood how precious Logan was. Logan could come across as a little rude, a little quiet, a little harsh. Sometimes Finn felt alone at the occasional faculty party Logan made it to. Like no one would ever understand how wonderful Logan was. His colleagues would clear their throat a little, taken aback after the initial attractive charm of how handsome Logan was. But Leo looked like he knew. Leo did know.

“I never thought I’d see him again,” Leo said in a small voice.

Finn nodded. He couldn’t speak, but he reached out and put his hand over Leo’s. Leo looked down at it. Slowly, he turned his hand around so that their palms fit together and their fingers laced. Finn squeezed hard, knowing they were both only trying to make sense of it all. It felt good to have something to hold onto.

“You know those notes,” Leo said, still looking down. “Your notes, in the hall at home? I mean, at your flat?”

Finn nodded again. He’d hardly been able to look at them but he hadn’t been able to take them down, either. Logan had framed them as a present after their wedding. Their little love confessions. Finn joked that they had said it more officially than that. Whispered into each other’s mouths after two years of knowing each other, wanting each other, kissing and kissing and kissing for the first time in the dark third floor of a Harvard library. He’d woken up the next morning, peaked just one eye open, to find Logan balancing a note on his bedside table against his water glass before sneaking out for his eight AM. He’d closed his eye in time to feel Logan, thinking he was still asleep, press the most tender kiss to his forehead.

“I don’t like that he doesn’t know they’re there,” Leo said.

Finn realized his eyes had closed, the ghost of the kiss laying over him like snow.

Framed love. In the lonely apartment. He had a photo of Logan somewhere, grinning crookedly as he put the nails in the walls, fresh off their honeymoon, tanned from the beach, hair honey highlighted by the sun. Sentimental. So sentimental.

Leo’s silhouette standing in the hallway, usually taking his coat off or putting it back on, was just as clear an image. Logan’s voice from the kitchen. Leo—Lay-oh, the way he said it. Finn loved every fucking sound out of his mouth—Leo, I’m burning your instructions, this water won’t boil. Leo, in no hurry, re-reading every word. Sometimes Finn wondered if he could tell what sentence, which frame, he was reading from just by the tilt of his head. Logan’s I’m sorry it took me so long. I’m yours now, or his own, I’ve loved you for so long, baby. So long.

“I know,” Finn whispered. He squeezed Leo’s hand again. He thought of Leo pressed all along his back after realizing that Logan was alive and had no idea who he was. “Hopefully…Hopefully we’ll all get to go home soon and all of this will just be a memory.” He sighed, watching Logan breathe. “One that we all remember and can all let fade.”

Leo’s thumb brushed over Finn’s knuckles. “Finn?”

“Hm?” Finn reached out again, pushing the top of the coat zipper away from Logan’s cheek. The metal would be cold. Logan was perfectly still. Finn looked up, though, when Leo stayed quiet. He had watched the gesture. “Yeah?”

Leo blinked. Shook his head. “Never mind. Um.” He pulled his hand away from Finn’s. “Fuck, okay, look.” Leo reached into his jacket and took out a gun. It was small, smaller than the ones Finn watched Leo and the others strap to their hips and backs.

“Whoa,” Finn said.

“I want you to take this,” Leo said.

Finn stared at the pistol. “Leo, I wouldn’t know the first thing about how to shoot that.”

Leo frowned. His eyes darted to Logan. “I always thought Logan might teach you.”

Finn shook his head. “No. I mean, we tossed the idea around, but we never…You know.” Finn shrugged one shoulder. “I was his break from it all.”

“Well, not anymore. Not after Jack. Take it now.” Leo put the gun into Finn’s hand. “Look. This is the safety. Keep that on at all times. And this—”

In the next moment, there was a tight pressure around his neck and Finn found the air knocked from his lungs as he was yanked backwards. For the second time that day, the mouth of the gun was pressed against him. His temple this time.

“Move and I kill him,” Logan’s voice said from behind him, right next to his ear.

“Lo,” Finn gasped out, clutching at Logan’s arm. Blood rushed in his ears at the pressure against his throat. He doesn’t know you. He doesn’t know you, he doesn’t know you. “Lo, please—”

“You,” Logan said, and Leo’s blue eyes widened, his hands raised away from his weapons. “What do you want from me?”

“We don’t want to hurt you, Logan,” Leo said and Finn was surprised by how even his voice came out. “Please don’t hurt him. Please, you don’t want to hurt him.” Leo’s eyes flicked nervously to Finn’s, and Finn clutched harder at Logan’s arm, coughing.

Holding onto Logan’s arm so tight, the music beginning. Trying not to watch his mom dabbing at her eyes. Logan’s soft smile when they faced each other at the top of the aisle. “You don’t have to hold on so tight, Rouge. I’m not going anywhere. Not ever.”

“Tell me who you are,” Logan said. The cold metal dug into Finn’s cheek. “Tell me. Why are they after me?”

“We’re your friends, Logan. Your teammates. We’re trying to figure that out, too,” Leo said. “You’re not alone. They’re after Remus, too. Do you know Remus?”

“Non,” Logan said.

Leo tried again, hesitantly. “Pascal?”

Finn badly wished he could see Logan’s face. All he could stare at was Leo’s blue eyes. Leo shook his head softly. “No? That’s alright.”

“Non. I…I don’t know—I don’t know anything,” Logan said, and Finn’s chest ached.

“We’ll help you,” Finn managed to say, and it was so stupid to feel relieved to be settled against Logan’s chest even with a gun to his head, but he was. “Logan, we’ll help you—”

But then he was being shoved forward, momentarily on his side before Logan had thrown a leg over his hips, pinning him to the ground with the gun right over his heart.

“You’re the one trying to get close,” Logan said. God, how many times had Logan looked down at him just like this, how many times had he been a weight over Finn, just like this…but not like this at all. “My husband. I don’t even know I was—”

Gay, was perhaps what he was about to say. Or, in younger Logan fashion, like that. Finn felt like he’d been slammed back nine years. Back to the very beginning. A reluctant Logan. A confused Logan. A young Logan, scared to admit to all the different ways he wanted Finn. Logan’s mouth pressed into a thin line, keeping the word in just like he used to. Finn had spent a good two years watching as Logan began to smile while using it—or at least, something like that word.

All I know is that I want a Finn O’Hara, Logan had laughed into his mouth that perfect summer. New York City. Burning sunset and dinner on a boat, humidity curling Logan’s hair and after dinner drinks on a rooftop. Before the agency had spotted Logan. Before any of it. And a Finn O’Hara wants me.

He still wants you, Finn wished he could say. I still want you. Do you still want me?

“My phone,” Finn whispered. “My phone, in my pocket.” He moved his eyes down to his left. “Right there.”

Logan looked, and Finn took the instant to look back at Leo, upside-down, and give his head a small shake. He won’t hurt me. Finn knew it in his bones. He can’t hurt me.

“You can’t trick me with—”

“You don’t have to open it,” Leo said. “Just look at the screensaver.”

That was better, Finn thought. He was going to have Logan look at pictures of their wedding, but this was better. It felt raw. Finn loved that photo. He hoped Logan could somehow feel that. Or even remember it. What had he done before? How had he broken through and why had it caused so much pain?

Logan, without moving the gun, dug into Finn’s pocket for the phone. Finn felt his hands search for weapons, too, briefly. Logan’s eyes caught on his when he found him completely unarmed. Finn couldn’t see the screen, but he could see Logan’s face as he took it in: Himself, soft as sunset. His brows drew together and he stared, and stared. When the screen went black, he tapped it to see the photo again.

“That’s you,” Finn said. “It’s you.”

Tentatively, Finn tried to sit up. It was a mistake. Logan flinched hard, renewing the angle of the gun, which had drifted some in distraction. He dropped the phone and pinned Finn’s hands above his head. He looked more panicked than before.

“Why don’t I know you? I should know you if that’s real—”

“It is,” Finn pleaded. He tried to free his hands. If he could just touch him. “Please, Lo, it’s me. It’s Finn.”

Logan was fighting him, gun digging in, hand back around Finn’s throat, but Finn didn’t care. He didn’t care.

“Finn.” Leo’s voice sounded far away. Panicked, but far away. “Stop. Stop it.”

“Harvard,” Finn choked out. He kept his eyes locked on Logan’s green ones. “Harvard, the third floor of the library.”

“What?” Logan said. “Who are you—” But he’d winced. Finn saw it, he winced.

Finn let out a low noise and renewed his efforts, settling all the strength he could find into keeping himself from shaking. The fact that it was a gun was beginning to settle in. Mostly though, he was afraid for Logan. Afraid he would do something that, if he ever came back to himself, he would regret.

“We don’t want to hurt you,” Leo pleaded. “And you’re not our captive. Just let him talk to you, Logan—”

But Finn knew better than that. Logan was stubborn. When he had something set in his mind, it took months to undo it—sometimes years. Not minutes, especially not on such uneven ground as this. Finn would have to try and trip his wires again, jump him right back into himself, even if only for a few more seconds.

“The hot chocolate machine,” Finn said. “Third floor. Harvard. Library. You love it, I think it’s disgusting but you loved it and I brought you some while I was helping you study. The English was hard for you back then.”

Logan squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them wide again, like he had double vision.

“You know,” Finn said. You know. It’s in there. “Before you could speak ten languages.”

“Finn,” Leo said. “This isn’t the way. It’s hurting him.”

“I don’t speak ten languages,” Logan bit out.

Leo said something fast in a language Finn couldn’t even begin to identify. Russian? Logan’s eyes snapped up. He’d understood.

“I know it’s confusing,” Leo began to say, but then Logan was looking at Finn again.

“The library,” Logan repeated.

“Yes.” Finn wrapped his fingers around Logan’s wrist, the hand on his neck. He realized he was nodding, almost frantically. He could see them in that memory. Standing close together in the tiny, freezing corner with the vending machine. The flimsy paper cup filled with steaming, powdery hot chocolate. “I said, that’s too fucking sweet. I said that I didn’t know how you could stand it…And you said—”

“I’m—” Logan began, and then cut off. His eyes were wide, searching Finn’s face. It wasn’t the recognition that he’d seen before, not the real knowing, but it was something. It was finishing Finn’s sentence.

I’m sweet. I’m sweet.

And then Finn had kissed him for the first time. Terrified. Not sure Logan even wanted him to. But they had spent what felt like an eternity kissing in that freezing corner, alone on the library’s third floor. So long that all of the censored lights shut off and thrown them into blissful darkness—was that the same darkness at the edges of his vision now? Finn tried to blink the spots away. Air. He needed air.

Logan’s eyes fell shut, lips pulling back to reveal teeth grit in pain. He dropped his forehead to Finn’s chest. Finn realized he was sweating, they both were, despite the chill in the air.

And then Logan was gone. His weight, the warmth, the gun, the hand around his throat.

Finn coughed hard. Bitter bile in his throat, something rushing in his ears. His pulse maybe. His blood. Leo knelt beside him, tumbling against his side.

“Finn—” Leo began to say, but Finn was already pushing himself up, terrified, terrified that Logan would already be running. His back hurt. His head throbbed where it had hit against the stone, and Logan, Logan, Logan, gone again gone—

But he wasn’t. Logan had pressed himself back into the stone corner where he had been sleeping. He looked feverish, but he was looking at Finn so carefully that Finn didn’t dare move.

“Logan?” Finn whispered.

“What’s happening to me?” Logan looked down at the gun, like he had forgotten he was holding it.

“You’re memory, it’s been—wiped? Or something,” Leo said gently. “It’s not your fault. Logan, it isn’t your fault. You and Remus, we thought you both were dead. We only just found you.” Leo let out a shaky sigh. “We’re trying to figure out what happened, too.”

Logan just stared at Leo. “I can see the library. But I don’t remember…I don’t understand.”

“Me neither,” said a voice from behind them, and both Leo and Finn whipped around. It was like seeing ghosts. With the stone and the sea and the crumbling church, it was right out of a novel.

Remus was standing there, leaning against a far wall on the sea-side of the church. The wind coming off the water beat at his tawny hair and the brown, old looking jacket he wore.

“Remus,” Leo breathed.

“How do you know my name,” Remus said. He held no weapon that Finn could see, but the very sight of him held both Leo and Finn in place well enough, “but I don’t know yours?”

#winterfic 2023 lumosinlove #Christmas Eve will find me lumosinlove #finnlo #sunfish #lionfish #lelo #remus lupin #wolfstar #sirius black #James potter #Jily #spy au #amnesia au #ficmas

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sommerregenjuniluft · 5 months

Text

@jegulus-microfic december 6 - obstacle - 2773 words (dont look at me like that)

cw: explicit sex, voyeurism ft. rosekiller, bit of degradation and slapping (as a treat)

((also shoutouts to everyone that voted on my poll but @casstration and @kaaaaaaarf hath spoken and so i went with option 1 lols, emjoy))

also posted on ao3

The winter cabin that they booked is by no means small, but it does only have two bedrooms. Which the four couples of them had to divide somehow.

It was somehow decided that Pandora and Lily get to have the one bedroom in the back by the balcony harboring the whirl pool. Regulus isn’t very aware of how or why that happened but he doesn’t question it.

Then it was dicing it out between Remus and his brother, Evan and Barty and James and Regulus for the upstairs bedroom.

Regulus is pretty sure Sirius rigged that.

And after Sirius has tugged Remus and their bags towards the stairs, chirping happily, it was between the four of them to make out the living room sleeping arrangements.

It’s a large room with a few random shelves as dividers rather than doors. There’s the big ten person couch in front of the TV and a king sized mattress shoved onto a wooden raising beneath the wide window next to the bookshelves, creating a cozy reading nook.

Regulus had simply pointed James to put their stuff by the window and that was that.

It’s their first night now, after a half day of skiing and snowboarding through the snow or sweating in the sauna or tasting themselves (Remus) through the entire resorts hot chocolate menus.

James and him are cuddled up in their many sheets and blankets, the waning moon spilling dim light over them.

Regulus is pleasantly heavy boned and drowsy but James is on a mission. Tugging Regulus’ leg over his hip, trying to get him closer, always closer, always so clingy and trying to deepen the kisses Regulus is purposely keeping close mouthed for now.

James growls a little, abandoning Regulus’ mouth to find a path down where he’s met with less resistance.

When there’s a teasing stroke of tongue Regulus grumbles, tries not to let it on with his voice that James’ plan is working, “Behave yourself.”

“I dunno what you could possibly mean by that,” James murmurs heatedly into the sensitive skin of Regulus’ neck as he grinds their hips together. And just like that Regulus whole fucking body is trembling. It’s bordering on ridiculous.

Regulus huffs, “I mean that sleeping in the same room as Evan and Barty could pose somewhat of an obstacle, don’t you think?”

“No, not an obstacle,” James responds, nipping at Regulus’ ear lobe, “Rather an opportunity.”

And the second Regulus mouth parts around a moan James’ palm is there, muffling the noise. Which, insightful, thank you, but also it has absolutely no business being that hot but it definitely is and therefore results in Regulus hips bucking even wilder, a whine ripping from his throat.

James chuckles low and when Regulus blinks his eyes up at him there’s a dangerous smirk on his boyfriend’s annoyingly handsome face. Regulus wants to sit on it.

He tuts, coos a little at Regulus in the precise moment that he runs his fingers over the front of Regulus briefs.

Regulus nearly chokes trying to keep the noises down.

James leans down, admonishing, voice patronizing in his ear, “You gotta be quiet for me though, love. Can you be a good boy and do that for me?”

Regulus pants, pelvis tilting up to chase his boyfriend’s retreating hand.

James tuts again and makes a dissatisfied noise at the lack of answer.

A small frustrated sound slips through Regulus’ teeth and he moves to punch James but this one simply intercepts the fist and thumps it down on the pillow over Regulus’ head and in one swift motion settles on top and between Regulus spread legs.

The thick line of him pressing against where Regulus is undoubtedly pulsing and wet under his boxers.

“C’mon, baby, don’t you wanna be good for me?” James whispers against Regulus’ jaw.

There’s currently no thought inside Regulus’ skull anymore, just a whole bunch of blank and static noise. All that matters is getting his mouth back on James’ and this one’s hands back on his body.

So Regulus nods fervently, the Yeah so delicate it barely carries over the small space that’s left between them. Trying so hard to be good and quiet but also knowing James wants vocal confirmation.

There’s a hint of teeth along his skin, James smiling, and then wet lips closing around a patch of skin on Regulus’ neck, sucking.

“Hah, mngh–” Regulus’ fingers find their way around James’ wrist, short nails digging in.

“That’s it, love,” James says, soothes the mark with his tongue and then– starts slowly and very fucking deliberately rolling his hips.

Regulus head tips back with the way his eyes roll up into his head.

Upsetting James’ hand over his mouth for a moment and letting the sounds go unfiltered.

“Shh,” James makes, smirking tauntingly, “Regs, baby, I thought you promised me to stay quiet?”

Regulus gasps, hiccups a little in his haste to reply while staying as quiet as possible and also coming down from the dizzying arousal coursing through his belly and making his head feel cotton-filled.

“Sorry,” Regulus squeaks and James gives cheek a tender kiss in acceptance of the apology before continuing.

Something creaks on the other side of the wide room.

The thought loses importance rapidly though when James’ other hand makes its way under Regulus’ sleep shirt to roll a nipple around as he continues rocking into Regulus.

“Please– please, Jamie,” is all he can manage.

A few more excruciating moments go by in which James plays with him and Regulus suffers and grunts and pants through the onslaught of feeling so fucking good but having to stay quiet about it until the older boy shows mercy.

There’s a wet patch on both their briefs now that Regulus is pretty sure isn’t fully to his credit.

Especially with the wild glint in James’ dark eyes as he roughly pulls Regulus’ briefs off before he discards his own underwear messily, all the while tugging Regulus’ loose limbed and out of breath body closer by his thighs.

The sheets are fuzzy and soft beneath and then there’s a pillow stuffed under Regulus’ ass, and then another one.

His legs exposed to the cool air, eliciting shivers, and spread apart wider by broad palms, smoothing up and down the sensitive skin there on the inside of his thighs and admiring. And Regulus swears there’s something in James’ gaze, something unnatural because it feels just as teasing as a gentle stroke of fingertips up and down where coarse dark hair turns to slick, glistening skin.

So visceral, turning Regulus on even more and making him arch with a silent cry parting his lips, eyes locked onto James’ flushed features and the mess of his hair.

God, he’s so gorgeous Regulus is going to die.

James chuckles, maybe Regulus said it out loud, who knows, and then this insane nutter of a human being leans down over Regulus, making him shudder with the returning body heat of him.

He brings their bodies in close, not flush together but touching, and Regulus whines brokenly when James’ shaft slides through the slick between Regulus’ legs.

And that’s before he rasps, right into fucking ear, low and incriminatingly sexy, “Die a little death for me, love.”

It’s all a bit hazy from thereon out.

There’s the palm returning to press over Regulus’ mouth when he fails to keep the noises to a minimum again.

There’s James’ thighs warm under Regulus’ and his slick mouth closing over his nipples, lips brushing over the scars there.

Regulus doesn’t know how much time goes by, not a lot he guesses, but he comes to again when his own whine rings clearer in his own ears.

High-pitched and needy because James is teasingly slapping his large cock down over and over where Regulus needs him most. Guiding the leaking tip up and down the slit of him and pushing in only so far just before he fully breaches him.

It’s maddening and rude and Regulus wants to insult him, spit venom but all that comes out is babbling and begging. No shame whatsoever.

“P-please, James, please I’m ah–” arching into the slap, watching cross eyed at the strings of cum and spit connecting them. Regulus ruts his head into the pillow helplessly, shaking it, and squirming, whimpering pathetically.

“Fuck, baby, fuck– fuck, c’mere. No, look at me,” James growls and Regulus eyes flutter open as his hips twitch. “You’re perfect. An angel, you hear me?”

Regulus hums and it comes out sweet. Pliant and agreeing, and James curses again.

There’s another sound in the background Regulus thinks but then James asks, “You ready for me, love?”

Regulus moans, abdominal muscles jumping and nodding quickly as James adjusts, crawling even closer.

He checks the pillows under Regulus, and then guides his cock forward.

There’s the silky wet of the tip again, warm and smooth. A small push, the almost-breach and then the head slips in entirely and Regulus gasps.

One smooth, slow, long thrust until James is panting above Regulus, completely sheathed inside.

James groans brokenly, dips down to place a quick kiss to Regulus’ sternum, “Fuck, love, you feel so good around me.”

Regulus whines in agreement, hips bucking where they’re flush with James’. “Please,” it’s barely a breath.

James pulls back and then rolls his hips forward again, an experimental little thing, not hard by any means but Regulus feels it.

The moan slips out on its own, loud and reverberating off the walls and Regulus whimpers when he feels a hand around his throat.

Squeezing lightly and Regulus hiccups again, makes a garbled sound when James gives a first real thrust.

His boyfriend tuts, leans down on one elbow and forces Regulus to look at him.

There’s a small part in Regulus that despite knowing James would never really deny him pleasure when playing is afraid of his boyfriend pulling out and stopping after keeping him so under- and overstimulated for so long. As punishment, which is a whole other box of exciting but not what Regulus wants– what he needs right now.

James frowns at him, while he keeps thrusting, Regulus clenching around the girth of him. There’s barely a husk in James’ voice when he murmurs, “That’s not how one’s being quiet, baby.”

Regulus gulps, hiccups and apologizes again, voice high.

James shakes his head in faux disappointment. It’s so startlingly sexy to have James switch between the praise and degradation, it has Regulus’ head reeling.

“Well, it’s a little too late for that now, is it?” James says accusingly, raising his eyebrows at him and then gives a particular hard thrust.

Regulus gives a squeaking gasp, throwing his head back.

But James pulls him back down by the jaw, fingertips digging into the bone and staring into his eyes as he pounds into Regulus’ tight, wet heat.

Regulus groans choppily before James nuzzles their noses together and says, “I think we’re being found out.”

Before Regulus’ brain is capable of processing the information James tips his head to the side, gaze drifting further into the living room.

He startles a little when once the blur fades he finds two pairs of eyes looking back at him unwaveringly.

Evan is on his back, neck bent and head hanging halfway off the cushions, bleached locks dangling, at an angle that simply must hurt, one hand fisting the plush armrest and the other in Barty’s short hair where he’s mouthing relentlessly at Evan’s hard and exposed cock, taking him down his throat every so often. Regulus doesn’t see it directly but the way Barty’s body is moving under the thick duvet leaves Regulus thinking he must be rutting his own aching length into the cushions below.

It’s only now that Regulus realizes him and James aren’t the only source of noises.

Barty’s throaty moans vibrate around Evan’s cock mixing with Evan’s soft pants and little cries whenever Barty seems to do something expertly with his mouth.

“James,” Regulus moans, not quite able to tear his eyes away from his two best friends yet.

“Yeah, baby?” he grunts, sliding impossibly further in on the next push of hips, making Regulus’ head snap back around at him.

“I love you,” Regulus breathes reverently.

James dives down into a searing kiss in response, tongue and teeth and spit sticking to Regulus’ chin when they pull apart for air.

James keeps fucking into him, making Regulus’ steadily climb higher and then locks him right in place with his eyes as Evan and Barty’s noises grow louder and lewder in the background.

James’ voice is dark when he demands, “Who do you belong to?”

It punches out of Regulus without missing a beat, “You.”

James’ shudders above him, hips stuttering and Regulus moans at the sensation. “Yeah, that’s right,” James pants, kissing Regulus’ shoulder. “All mine.”

And then he pulls out and flips Regulus. His cheek squished into the sheets and staring right back at Barty blowing Evan again.

“So generous of me to let them watch, aren’t I, love?” rasped low in his ear as James slips back in from behind, his warm body blanketing Regulus.

Several shivers whack through his body and then there’s something small and vibrating shoved between Regulus’ front and the pillows.

James presses his clit right into it, hands on his ass cheeks and grinding, fucking him deeper into the bed.

Regulus stutters through a loud whine, eyebrows scrunching and hips uncoordinatedly rutting back on James’ cock and down into the vibrator.

“Aw, precious baby– fucked stupid already?” James taunts and helps Regulus resume to a proper rhythm again, picking right up from where his climax started coiling deep in Regulus’ stomach.

“Just let me take care of you, love,” a smack on Regulus’ ass and he moans helplessly into the open room. Sees Evan’s hips buck in response and Barty take him further in his mouth with a desperate noise.

It’s all so hot and dizzying. Regulus feels so on display it makes him both want to squirm under the close scrutiny but also bloom under the attention and stay still for them. All of them. Let them look their fill. Regulus feels splayed out from the desire you regard the muse with as you paint them to the canvas.

It’s a frighteningly fast climb and with every rut and push and tug Regulus is driven closer, his legs trembling uncontrollably where they’re bracketing James’ from the double stimulation and in the end all it takes is James’ mouth biting and sucking on his lips, Evan’s stuttering moans and the sight of Barty’s eyes rolling back that has Regulus climaxing.

A loud, surprised noise and then he’s clenching down on James’ fat cock, pulsating and it doesn’t take another five seconds before James is following after him, spilling and jerking pleasantly inside where Regulus is still quivering with the shocks of his orgasm.

Meanwhile across the room he hears Evan curse and make a truly obscene noise which in turn makes Barty groan and pant, the rustling of blankets doing nothing to drown out the sounds.

When Regulus blinks his eyes open to James’ gazing at him carefully a smile pulls onto his lips.

James blows out a relieved little breath. “Was that okay?”

“Yeah, baby, it was better than I could have imagined,” Regulus answers truthfully, grabbing blindly for James’ hand and giving a small peck on a random knuckle before he tapers into a bit of a giggle.

His body is pleasantly sluggish and tingly. James’ tilts his hand back and kisses the tip of every finger in response.

He’s still inside of Regulus, slowly growing smaller.

James takes onto kissing at Regulus’ nape, warm body still pressed close and it’s almost enough for Regulus to drift off until—

“Oi, Potter! Why don’t you two beauts come over here and snuggle? Couch’s big ‘nuf for the four of us.” Barty’s smirk is audible in his voice and Regulus hears Evan muffle his snicker.

Regulus makes a small sound and snuggles deeper into the soft sheets, way too comfortable to be moved.

James understands that as the decline that it is and snarks back, “In your fucking dreams, Crouch!”

“Hey, hey now!” Barty retorts, because he can never leave it at good enough, “That’s not how you treat a man you’ve just had very voyeuristic sex in front of!”

“Rosier, beat some sense into your boyfriend, will you?”

“Ha, jokes on you! I’m into that shit, same as dear Reggie as it seems by the way, it’ll only turn into a round tw– Ouch! Baby, that hurt. I—”

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