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#reader-response theory
omegaphilosophia · 3 months
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Theories of the Philosophy of Literature
The philosophy of literature encompasses various theories that explore the nature, purpose, and significance of literature. Here are some prominent theories in this field:
Mimetic Theory: This theory, associated with Aristotle, suggests that literature imitates or reflects aspects of the real world. It focuses on the representation of human actions and characters.
Expressive Theory: This perspective emphasizes the expression of the author's emotions, thoughts, and experiences through literature. The work is seen as a medium for the author's self-expression.
Aesthetic Theory: Aesthetic theories, such as those by Immanuel Kant, focus on the intrinsic beauty and form of literature. They explore how literature provides aesthetic experiences and engages the imagination.
Reader-Response Theory: This theory considers the role of the reader in interpreting and giving meaning to a literary work. It suggests that meaning is not solely derived from the author's intentions but is co-created by the reader.
Structuralism and Semiotics: These theories, associated with figures like Roland Barthes, analyze the underlying structures and signs in literature. They explore how language and symbols create meaning.
Deconstruction: Developed by Jacques Derrida, deconstruction challenges fixed meanings in literature. It emphasizes the instability of language and the presence of multiple interpretations.
Feminist Literary Criticism: This approach examines literature through the lens of gender and challenges patriarchal norms. It explores how literature reflects and reinforces societal attitudes toward women.
Postcolonial Theory: Postcolonial literary criticism examines works in the context of colonialism and its aftermath. It explores how literature addresses issues of power, identity, and cultural representation.
Psychoanalytic Literary Criticism: Drawing from Freudian and Jungian theories, this approach explores the psychological dimensions of characters and narratives in literature. It delves into unconscious motivations and symbolism.
Ethical Criticism: Ethical theories in literature examine the moral implications and ethical choices presented in literary works. It considers how literature engages with ethical questions and influences readers' moral perspectives.
Cultural Criticism: Cultural theories analyze literature in the context of cultural practices, beliefs, and values. They explore how literature reflects and shapes cultural identities.
Narrative Theory: Narrative theorists examine the structure and function of narratives in literature. They explore how stories are constructed and how they contribute to our understanding of the world.
These theories offer diverse perspectives for interpreting and understanding the complexities of literature.
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petiolata · 2 months
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Decided I'll just block people I see tag their art with "not ship art" "don't tag as ship" and the like.
It's not that I care whether it's ship art, or whether the artist intends it platonically or romantically.
It's that it shows a deep, fundamental misunderstanding of how art works. Art is not meant to be interpreted to the exact dictation of the artist. Art is meant to evoke thoughts and feelings *beyond* what the artist intends.
The audience, viewing, completes the experience by supplying interpretations based on their own unique experiences.
If someone doesn't get that, then they're too mentally shallow for me to waste time on their art. Why would I? There's nothing for me in it--I'm not permitted to have my own thoughts or feelings about the art after all.
Viewing art as complete, immutable product that the audience exists only to "consume" without thinking is the mentality that enables the hideous conversion of "artist" to "content creator".
Besides, the artist has admitted they can't clearly communicate ideas or scenes, since they feel the need to clarify something that should be obvious 99.9% of the time.
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fuckmeyer · 9 months
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Wiggins!) the bizarre thing about the vampire men in the cullen family all seem to be at least subconsciously what Smeyer wants Bella to have but can’t seem to get over her initial vision of what she saw in her drafts or whatever. It’s odd that every single one of the Cullen men are like strongly devoted (but mostly devoid of personality because it’s so Bella centric) but when you compare them to Edward they seem interesting in some ways. Like Narratively we’re supposed to have this threat that Edward is constantly holding back from killer her but I don’t feel like we see that. Conversely, Jasper is constantly the one who is suffering about human smells and is the more vampire-like. But he’s also a glorified lap dog. So it’s like ‘oh he’s a monster but he’ll never hurt me” (things Alice has said out loud. Man even psychics slip up. I swear her powers weren’t so accurate until Smeyer needed an excuse for plot reasons)
Emmett feels like when some women say they like waifish guys because they don’t want to seem like they’re vapid for liking “big dudes with muscles” so of course you pair Emmett with the “shallow blonde”
Carlisle, I swear only exists so Edward has someone to model but I would also argue that he’s proto-Edward before whatever reworking she had to do when writing Twilight for a YA audience and brought him back as a different character.
Yeah a rant
hello again bestie Wiglet! (note to self: learn Photoshop so i can shop Jacob's bad wig onto a pic of Piglet)
this is such an interesting take! thanks for sharing. i totally see what you're saying. in all the Cullen men we see both a blend of softness & devotion *and*, interestingly enough, a patchwork of patriarchal ideas of what a man "should" be. & this idea comes to the forefront with the depiction of the love interests
smeyer wants us to see Edward as the chivalric gentlemen from the Days of Yore. we see this in the opening doors, the cutsey little romance taglines ("you are my life now," "look after my heart; i've left it with you," "so the lion fell in love" etc), the knight saving the damsel in distress, the expensive tokens of his affection, etc.
at the same time, in both Edward & Jacob we see the crude traits of the Patriarchy Dreamboat kinda guy. if i had to sum it up, it's like the guy you see in 80s movies. "bad boy." "opposites attract." he's a jerk. he's a hunk. he's domineering. he's allowed to show emotion only & especially if that emotion is anger. he's persistent in his efforts to get the girl, going so far as to kiss her without her consent if it's For a Good Cause (Edward in New Moon post-Volterra, Jacob in Eclipse). he's a cool guy who's In Control 👉😎👉
perhaps that's why the Twilight saga appealed so such a large swath of women & girls. the women, who grew up with the notion that they could have the true love of their dreams so long as they submitted to the patriarchal social contract, saw the contract being fulfilled in Edward. (i.e., "you can be the king if you treat me like a princess.")
on the other hand, the 90s/00s girlies who grew up in the midst of a feminist revolution & who could see the glimmer of a dismantled patriarchy on the horizon were attracted to Edward for the flashes of radical feminist love they saw: the unapologetic expressions of emotion, the honesty of him sharing his vulnerabilities & weaknesses, Bella's ability to override Edward's will when necessary, etc.
sorry, i know this isn't really the crux of the rant you submitted, but it is extremely interesting to see these contradictions playing out in all the male characters of the saga. it's almost like smeyer is having this internal debate with herself without even realizing it...
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poorlittleyaoyao · 8 months
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horrible realization that this fandom……. has made me get what the New Criticism dudebros were talking about (even though I still don’t agree, because viewing any text in a vacuum would make me an extremely bad history major).
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grandhotelabyss · 11 days
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Thoughts on reader-response theory?
Never liked it. The point of reading is to rise to the occasion of discovering what the work signifies; this involves stretching yourself toward the work, getting outside of yourself, developing knowledge of its form and style, its context and themes—not resting in the way it reminds you of when you got separated from mommy in the grocery store or whatever, or limiting your appreciation to the cultural horizon of your "interpretive community." Ultimately, who cares about the reader's response? We care about the work's meaning.
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isfjmel-phleg · 10 months
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Sorry to harp on this again, but I am once again grappling with how prevalent it is for scholarship on TSG to be blatantly colored by scholars' personal feelings toward the characters. To the point that it's common for an article to be like "this imperious little brat, amirite?" right in the middle of an academic discussion. I don't think I've encountered anything like it before with another book. For instance, even with all the critics who talk badly about Lucy W e s t e n r a, I never read a single article that stated anything like, "I personally dislike her."
And that's fine if you can't stand a character (...even if maybe you do kind of have a double standard about it). Goodness knows I have a few fictional people I don't care for either. But what exactly does this have to do with scholarship? In this context, we're here to analyze, not make judgments based on personal preference. That's more suitable for a review of a book, or for fandom spaces.
(Then there's the opposite of this, when a critic designates a character as The Sum Of All Wonderfulness and spouts hagiography about them, and that's also tiresome and not really very academic either, but that's another issue.)
I wonder if this is connected to another thing I keep noticing: scholarship about children's books is frequently bound up with the scholar's personal experience of that book in childhood. There are frequently reminiscences about the first time encountering the story and the impressions it left. The books we read in childhood do have that powerful of an effect! But this is something more suited to a personal essay or a memoir than a critical examination of a text. Or at the very least one should acknowledge one's personal leanings as not an objective interpretation.
All this to say, maybe we shouldn't select fictional characters to be a sort of designated academic punching bag and just interpret them on their own terms?
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whimseysthrone · 1 year
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Characterization & Character Creation, WH40k Darktide
Characterization & Character Creation, WH40k Darktide
This is not a full-on review of the game. If you like the developer FatShark’s previous title Vermintide 2 (Vt2) or other games in the Left 4 Dead co-op genre, and you’re willing to experience the teething problems of a game that needs a few more updates for performance and stability, then you might enjoy this. It’s certainly the best L4D genre game I’ve played despite still feeling rough at…
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paganinpurple · 1 year
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AO3 Etiquette -UPDATED
Based on both decent and not so decent replies, I have made some changes to my original post below.
It would seem a whole new kind of AO3 reader/writer is emerging and it is becoming clear not everyone quite understands how the website community works. Here is some basic guidance on how most people expect you to go about using AO3 to keep this a fun community archive that funtions correctly:
As well as likes, kudos is for when the story was interesting enough to make you finish reading. If it sucked or was badly written, you probably left. If you finished it, you liked it - so kudos.
If you really liked it, you should try to comment. It can be long and detailed or a literal keysmash. Writers don't care, we just love comments.
No critisism unless the author has specifically asked or agreed to hear it (so use your notes to say if you want some constructive feedback). Even constructive critisism is a no-no unless an author note tells you it's okay. No, posting it online is not an open invitation for that. Many people write as a fun hobby or a way to cope with, among other things, insecurity and just want to share. Don't ruin that for them. I've seen so many authors just stop writing coz they can't handle the negative emotions the critism brings, and it's only meant to be a fun thing shared for free (pointing out tagging errors is not included in this).
Do not comment to ask the author to write/update something else. It's tacky and off-putting and will probably have the opposite effect than the one you want.
There is no algorithm, it's an archive. Use the search and filter function to add/remove the pairings/characters/tropes etc. you want to read about and it will find you the fics that fit the bill.
For this to work, writers must tag and rate stories. This avoids readers finding the wrong things and missing the stuff they want. I don't care how cringy that trope is in your eyes - it gets tagged.
The tag exception is if you don't want to tag a million things or spoil your story, you can rate it as "chose not to use warnings," and maybe tag the bare minimum.
Don't censor tags. How can someone exclude a tag if the word isn't typed out correctly? There are no content bans for terms so don't censor them.
If the tags are mostly content/trigger warnings, especially if they are things considered very fucked up or graphic, you might want to use "dead dove - do not eat" to ensure people know that you're not messing around with tags and what they get is exactly what you've warned them about.
Character A/Character B means a ROMANTIC or SEXUAL relationship of some kind. Character A&Character B is PLATONIC, like friendship or family.
Nothing is banned. This is an rule because banning one thing is a slipperly slope to banning another and another, until nothing is allowed anymore. Do not expect anyone to censor for you. Because of the tags system, you are responsible for your own reading experience.
People can create new chapters and sequels/fic series any time after they "complete" a story. So it's considered perfectly normal to subscribe, even to a finished story. You can even subscribe to the author instead just to cover your bases.
Do not repost stories or change the publishing date without an extremely good reason (like a complete top to bottom rewrite or an exchange youve written for going public). It's an archive, not social media. No one cares what's the most recent, only what fits their tag needs.
Instead of deleting a story you wrote if you hate it - consider making it anonymous or orphaning it so others can still enjoy it, without it being connected to your name anymore. If you still want to delete it, fair enough.
It's come to my attention that metaworks ARE allowed on AO3, which is something I wasn't aware of. So if you do post an essay or theory, please tag it as such so others can choose to search for it or exclude it. Art is also allowed.
The only reason this archive works is because NON ONE PROFITS. Do not link to your ko-fi or patreon or mention monetary gain in any way or you violate the terms and risk having your account removed. If anyone does link, it leaves the archive open to people claiming it's for profit and having the whole thing removed.
I KNOW there's plenty more I missed but I'm trying to cover most of the basics that people seem to be struggling with.
I invite anyone to add to this, but please explain, don't berate.
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rae-writes · 3 months
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angelic alteration
om brothers x reader
wc : 1.k
warnings: nsfw, corruption kink based
synopsis : when Solomon and Diavolo can't fix the problem, it's up to Mc
a/n : thought the angel event (og) could use some more spice so I poured my entire spice rack on it
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“Mc…I’m afraid we have bad news.”
You sighed into the receiver, “Yeah? You guys can’t reverse the magic, can you?”
“Nope!” Solomon chirped cheerfully, “Diavolo and Michael’s magic mixed together too strongly for us to reverse ourselves. You’ll just have to wait for them to go back to normal, or…”
“Or…what?”
“Well, this is just a theory, but what if you just corrupted the angelic magic and forced their demonic sides back out?”
“Corrupted, huh..? I like the sound of that.”
“I can feel the magic trying to stop me…how. stupidly. annoying.” Lucifer accentuated each word of his complaint with a sharp thrust, face pinched in concentration as sweat beaded at his temple. 
He’d be damned if something as trivial as a hexed bracelet from the celestial realm kept him from indulging in you, the one temptation he would never dare ignore. 
Your nails dug crescent moons into his shoulders, thighs squeezing at his hips tightly as you moaned and panted beneath him. “Lu-ci-fer! S-slow d-own!” 
He growled and sped up in response, snapping his hips into you harshly, “How dare they try to turn me back? I am the Avatar. Of. Pride!” Once again, each word was accentuated with a thrust, making his cock hit deeper and deeper each time. 
And he was so fucking proud each time he had you a moaning mess underneath him, crying out his name, begging him not to stop— you made his sin flood his entire body every time. 
An electric charge cracked through the air for a brief second before the bangle broke in half, magic forcibly shattering under Lucifer’s sheer prowess. 
He grinned sharply, capturing your legs against your chest in a mating press as he went even harder. His wings shedded to black, spanning out proudly behind him as the halo melted down into his horns. 
“I’m going to ruin you, do you hear me? You’re not leaving this bed- not tonight, or in the morning, or maybe even until tomorrow afternoon…I’m keeping you until I’ve had my fill.”
The sight of Mammon’s blue eyes peering up while his mouth was busy pleasuring you had always been a pretty sight— the shimmering halo was only a little bonus this time. 
But you wanted his horns to hold onto. “Just like that, Mams…doing so well, pretty boy.” Your hips rocked over his mouth, grinning down at him with gold flickering in your eyes. 
He was all about giving now that the bangle had taken hold, which even before, Mammon always keened when you sat on his face and just used him. 
The second born was moaning and whining and whimpering against your skin as his tongue lapped up everything he could, “Mmph- like this? ‘M I doing good, Mc?” 
“Y-yeah, baby, fuck— so good…” you carded your fingers through Mammon’s hair, feeling him get more and more excited before you lifted up off his face. 
And he was absolutely distraught with the lack of your taste, desperate cry leaving him as he tried to chase after you. “No, no, no! Mc, please, come back— wasn’t done, wanna taste you still, wanna make you feel good, please!” 
The laugh you let out made him whine even louder, fingers gripping frantically at your thighs. It was like a switch flipped, magic being overtaken by his greed. 
His eyes flickered gold like yours, a whiny growl escaping him. He forced you on your back within a second, mouth working at you even more desperately now as he held you down and took what he wanted— and he wanted to make you cum. 
“Jus’ let me, please let me make you cum— you taste so good, Mc, I don’t wanna stop. Want you to scream my name and yank my hair, grip my horns, just give me more- more, more, more!” 
A small shriek left Levi when you rammed against his prostate, hiccuped cries of your name following. His back arched, wings flaring out behind him, making you hit even deeper spots inside of him. 
With his new attitude, he’d been letting everyone else spend time with you and he was finally feeling the built up envy creep along his spine, right beside the spikes of pleasure. 
“Aww…look at you. So sweet for me, huh? Why so shy, Levi? Wasn’t this what you meant about strengthening connections?” 
Garbled sounds left him, courtesy of your fingers stuffed in his mouth. His eyes rolled back, hands gripping at your hips desperately, though it wasn’t clear if he was pushing you away or pulling you closer.
“How am I gonna know I’m doing good if you don’t tell me, ‘vi? C’mon, sweet thing, tell me. Or do you not want me?” 
It was like you asked the unthinkable. A loud whine left him and his tail returned, knocking the halo right off his head before it coiled around your abdomen. 
“No! I want you, I want you so badly, please keep fucking me— don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop!” Diamond shaped scales scattered across his body as the magic wore out. 
You cooed, thrusting into him sharply, making his body lurch, “Good boy, Leviathan..” 
“Fuck!” Satan cries out, fingers digging into his white wings to try and keep them from fluttering. His back arched almost painfully, loudly begging you to keep going. 
“Oh, look at you…” the coos that left you made him flush red, giving you a great sense of satisfaction. This was the most he’d been riled up since putting that ridiculous bangle on.
Your thighs were burning at the unforgiving pace you were riding him at, beads of sweat splashing onto his skin, so you decided to change the game a little. 
“Come on, Tannie, if you want it, work for it.” You settled your weight on top of him, ceasing your movements as you cockwarmed him instead. 
A displeased growl comes from the back of his throat, eyes snapping open with a glowing green. “Mc, move! Please!” 
Slowly, the halo above his head began to flicker and dim before it shattered, dissipating in the air. Another growl escaped him as his wings followed suit, tail lashing out like a whip. 
“That’s it— c’mon-!” You gasped when he yanked you forwards, chest pressing against his as his tail locked you in place. The only sounds that could leave you now were broken moans as he fucked you almost viciously. 
“You know how I feel about you fucking. teasing. me. Feels good doesn’t it? Yeah? Cause I’m not stopping. ‘M not stopping until I physically can’t fuck you anymore— fuck, I needed you.” 
Unabashed moans echo off the walls of Asmo’s bathroom as the fifth born writhes under your touch. The sound of water sloshing makes his cheeks burn fiery red and the sound of you moaning back at him makes it even worse. 
“W-wait! You d-don’t have to— oh!” 
“Shh, Azzy…’m just taking care of you. You were so hard and aching…could see it even though you tried to hide under the water.” 
The white feathers ruffled with pleasure (slowly shedded away and turning back), hips jerking frantically to chase the pleasure. The bangle’s magic was completely buried under how hot you made him feel and the feeling of you licking along the edges of his leathery wings increased it ten fold. 
“Yes, Mc, like that— don’t stop, just like that, just like that!” Amso curled over on you, horns knocking against your shoulder as he cried out even louder. 
You fisted his cock harder and swiped your thumb over the tip relentlessly, “Yeah? Made you feel so good, you corrupted yourself, huh? Pretty little Azzy…come on, cum.” 
The squeal he let out cracked halfway through, broken cries of your name following like a mantra. His hand encased yours, making sure you didn’t stop jerking him off. 
“K-keep going, don’t stop! Wanna cum for you again ‘n again, gotta make up for when I was giving you away to the others, please, please, let me cum again for you!”
“H-haaah…ah! M-Mc…what’re you..o-oh..doing?” 
“You said it made you happier seeing others get to eat, so…” you hummed, licking your lips before digging your tongue back into the slit of his cock, “I’m just..enjoying my meal…” 
Beel had always lost his cool when you went down on him, finding your mouth to be too good at pleasuring him. The growl he let out was something only a demon could make. 
The glowing of the bangle did nothing to deter you— in fact, you only laughed and peered up at him with the red sin of gluttony swirling through your irises. With another hum, you enveloped his cock in your mouth and forced your head as far down as you could, swallowing around him. 
He tried so hard to not buck into your mouth or grip at your head as the magic worked to keep his ravenous nature at bay, but…that’s just not who he was anymore. 
“C’mon, Beelie…want you to cum in my mouth, I wanna taste you..pretty please? Let me have it…” 
A low groan fell past his lips, hips finally jerking up and accidentally making you choke. A rushed apology was given as his fingers tangled in your hair and gently guided your head at a faster pace. 
The beating of his insectual wings was rapid as he got closer, magic completely dissipating when he let out a sound akin to a small roar, grabbing at his own horns when he came. 
Watching you pull away with visibly stuffed cheeks, slowly working on swallowing it all (though drops still ran down your chin) made a sharp pang shoot through him. 
“Thank you…you always make me feel so good, Mc…but..now ‘m hungry. Let me return the favor..wanna taste you too.” 
“A-are you sure…this is o-okay?” Belphie chokes out quietly, hands pressing down on your hips to keep you pinned to the bed with your knees bent to your sides. 
Your fingers curl in the sheets, body lurching forward at each thrust, “yeah, ‘s okay— feels good, doesn’t it? You’re doing so good, Bel…” 
The clipped whines and gasps that Belphie was making made his cheeks flair with an embarrassed flush; but you were right. It felt so. fucking. good. And he didn’t think he ever wanted to stop. 
Through the pleasure, it was easy to ignore the glowing bangle on his wrist and the voice in the back of his head telling him that he should have more reservations- that he shouldn’t be doing this— that voice wasn’t even his. Belphie wanted this, he did! 
As your hands stretched back to claw at his lower stomach, you moaned out his name and wiggled your hips, begging him to go faster. 
“Please, Bel…know you can go f-faster than this, want you to fuck me— please, please, please! Don’t wan’ you to be an angel, want you to be my demon again-!” 
Magic cracked in the air, sending the hair on the back of your neck rising before a familiar tail curled around your stomach and yanked your lower half higher up, forcing your chest further into the mattress. 
The attic bed creaked with the force he slammed into you at, whines mixing with growls now; his horns pressed against your skin as he rested his forehead against your back, making it arch even more.  “Yeah? You want me to fuck you senseless again? Couldn’t even go a couple days without having me play with you, fuck, you’re such a slut for me.”
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ateez as pirates who fall for you (hyung line)
read maknae line here
genre: pirate!ateez x gn!reader (fem!reader for hongjoong), fluff, angst, crack, and as always - a brainrot of every pirate trope to exist
length: 10.4k
c/w: heavy and mature themes - mdni, explicit language (swearing, insults), death, violence, blood & injuries, weapons, illegal acts (piracy, ransoming, verbal abuse, abduction), alcohol, pet names
a/n: maknae line will come yes but who knows when 🤷‍♀️ work has been really testing my dopamine vibes this year 😔👎 thank you @sorryimananti-romantic for keeping a detailed hitlist for me ♡
hongjoong
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pov: you're a royal princess rescued by him
“captain, are you sure we can’t toss her overboard?”
jongho and hongjoong watch as wooyoung’s face falls after you pointedly ignore his attempts to make conversation once again
for someone who is technically their guest aboard the arriba, it seems as though you are hellbent on being as difficult as you can be
“unfortunately, we can’t,” hongjoong grouches to the younger, “not unless we want to exchange our payment for a hefty bounty on our own heads”
when jongho sighs, the captain squeezes his shoulder in comfort and adds on, “trust me, i’ve thought about it too”
hongjoong and his crew are privateers - pirates in theory, but technically excused so long as they have their letter of marque to state that they are authorised to attack other vessels
rescuing a royal princess was never explicitly part of the contract, although he thinks that not rescuing you would have pretty much been equivalent to a blatant show of insubordination
you had been taken ransom by one of the merchant ships the arriba had been plundering
needless to say, they had been close to tossing you overboard too; your kingdom had never paid for your ransom
the lack of response from your parents wasn’t anything you weren’t expecting but it’s a sore spot nonetheless
so it’s certainly hard for you to play friendly when you’re quite literally shucked off from stranger to stranger faster than a hot potato
san tugs wooyoung closer towards him and gently says to you, “he’s just trying to be nice - we all are”
the movement doesn’t go unnoticed by you
“i don’t need your pity,” you answer, the only sentence you have spoken today
you’ve lived two decades of your life pretending you don’t see the pitying gazes of your maids and butlers
you certainly don’t need pity from these people - pirates no less
“it’s not-” wooyoung starts to say
but the captain steps in before he can defend himself
“if this is how you’re always acting, i’m starting to see why your kingdom never paid for your ransom”
had hongjoong been less preoccupied by your words, he would have realised that your tone is candid, as if it is only natural for the people around you to pity you
but he’s clouded with his mindset as captain, unable to stand by idly while his own crew put up with your attitude, and so the words come out anyway - shards of shrapnel that bury themselves into your heart
there is only a fleeting second when your eyes dilate with hurt
you conceal it immediately, replacing it with a steely gaze, yet the image has already seared itself into hongjoong’s mind
“maybe you should throw me overboard, then,” you counter, “i’m sure my family will thank you for it”
and even if you have completely neutralised your expression, no one misses the wounded tone of your voice before you disappear down into the lower deck
mingi lets out a low whistle after the resounding slam of the hatch closing
“you fucked up, captain”
hongjoong doesn’t need anyone to spell it out for him
the heavy feeling in his stomach is telling enough
it isn’t until the moon has long since risen that you emerge through the hatch again
you had bypassed the sleeping quarters to the hold, wedging yourself between barrels of grain until you were sure no one would find you
not that they would have tried to anyway - seonghwa had told them all to give you some space
you had run your finger up and down the sides of the barrels repetitively for hours on end, mind simultaneously void and filled with thoughts
the walls you had built around yourself kept you safe, but it had started to become awfully lonely after a while
when it had become a little too suffocating in the hold and you guessed that most of the crew was asleep, you had softly padded back up the stairs and across the main deck
you now sit on the foredeck where the endless expanse of the sea stretches out in front of you, closing your eyes and letting the swaying of the ship lull you into tranquillity
tonight, the moon winks down fondly upon the waters
hongjoong watches you from the quarterdeck
he’s seen you sit at the front of the ship on many nights when you should really have been asleep
he wonders if you’ve always looked so small and fragile with your knees drawn up to your chest, or whether it’s because the flash of hurt in your eyes and voice is still fresh in his mind
“go, captain,” yunho murmurs from where he’s at the helm, “it’s a quiet night”
hongjoong startles at having been caught gazing, clearing his throat and dragging his eyes away
“why should i, if she’s just going to ignore me?” he scoffs
but he knows he’s just being petty at this point and his chest churns in agreement
“maybe,” yunho hums softly in response. “did seonghwa ever give up on you, though?”
it’s rhetorical - hongjoong knows the answer better than anyone
the captain doesn’t say anything but after several beats of silence, he sighs and makes a move to the foredeck where you are
yunho smiles to himself
you and hongjoong may be more similar than his captain realises
your shoulders stiffen when the sound of hongjoong’s footsteps approaches
you’re not sure what to expect and you don’t exactly want to find out and risk getting hurt
but having spent all day swimming alone in your thoughts, you do want to show that you feel apologetic because admittedly, you were being an ass too
getting up to walk away when he’s taken the first step certainly won’t help your case
you hold your breath in awkward silence as he settles down beside you, leaving a respectable distance between your hunched figures
only now is hongjoong realising that he hasn’t actually thought about or decided on what he wants to say to you
but he can feel the confusion rolling off of you in waves, so he grits his teeth and says fuck it
“i won’t apologise for defending my crew, but i’m sorry for how i did it and for what i said”
he hopes you know he is sincere when he continues, “we all have our prickly edges. i can’t fault you for yours”
compassion is a foreign concept to you and so you’re a little stumped for words
hongjoong isn’t sure whether your silence is a good or bad thing, but you have yet to stand up and walk away from the conversation
“there’s only about a week left until we reach port and we’ll leave after you make it back to your kingdom and we receive our payment. i’m not asking for you to be friendly, but let’s at least be civil with each other until then,” he says
you want to nod, agree, anything
and yet you can’t seem to make your head move or the words to come out of your mouth
rome was not built in a day. but neither did its walls fall in a day
hongjoong doesn’t push for an answer when instead, you ask, “how many people have you actually tossed overboard before?”
he resists the urge to laugh at your question, suddenly endeared by the fact that you’re still bothered by his very empty threat
“none, but my offer still stands. you’re welcome to be my first,” he deadpans
you let out a snort and although you quickly turn your head away, hongjoong sees the hint of amusement in your eyes
no further words are exchanged between the two of you and you do not acknowledge him when he eventually stands to rejoin yunho at the helm
but it’s a start
and as with any relationship, be it friend, foe, or lover, there is always that
a beginning.
hongjoong isn’t really expecting much to change immediately so he doesn’t pay you much mind when you walk into the mess hall the following morning
you hesitate at the entrance when you see most of the crew are already present, the conversation you had with hongjoong last night replaying at the forefront of your mind
you chew on the inside of your mouth
wooyoung stops mid-conversation at the scrape of a plate on the table, looking up to find you sliding into the seat beside him with a tight-lipped smile
to your surprise, he greets you with enthusiasm and immediately drags you into the conversation
hongjoong watches as you slowly warm up and add one or two comments of your own in between bites of your hardtack
and when he catches your gaze after staring for too long, he gives you a smile to convey his appreciation; to acknowledge your efforts
you return it with a small smile of your own and unbeknownst to you, it stays on your face for the rest of the day
slowly, there become more and more reasons that elicit a smile out of you
you still sit out on the foredeck when everyone else has gone to sleep, but on most nights, hongjoong will join you even if just for a while
the two of you are content to sit side by side with nothing but the steady pulse of the ocean and intermittent creaks of the ship’s hull to break the silence of the night
tonight though, you find curiosity burning through you
“what’s it like?” you ask
“being a pirate?” he clarifies
you shrug vaguely, unsure yourself either, “being a pirate. being at sea. sailing with your crew”
he takes a moment to gather his thoughts - not because he doesn’t know what to say, but because there is too much he wants to say
when hongjoong answers, his voice rumbles softly from within his chest, tender and heartfelt
“there’s a sense of freedom that you can’t obtain when you’re bound to land and society. sailing the waters, the only limits are those of the open seas and of your own compass… the sunrises, the storms, the moonlight - it all becomes part of your home”
hongjoong leans back to rest on the palms of his hands, tilting his gaze up towards the twinkling sky
he reflects, “you experience brotherhood and gain a family that is worth multitudes more than the treasures you can accumulate, even if you were to live as a pirate for several lifetimes”
you’re enraptured by his words, like poetry that swirls off the pages of a book and drifts into your very soul
“i may be the captain of this crew, but they make me who i am. without them, i am nothing”
his words wash over you and unearth vivid memories
“that’s what the queen always says to me,” you reveal
a small smile starts to grace hongjoong’s face, but it falls just as quickly when he hears your next words
“that without her - without her title - i am nothing”
it’s funny, how the same phrase can hold such different meanings; can evoke such different emotions
you don’t elaborate any further, but hongjoong doesn’t think he needs you to in order for him to understand
he just wishes he had more time to show you that your mother is wrong
he can’t though
tomorrow they reach port and you will return to your rightful place in the palace
“tell me more about your crew,” you attempt to change the topic, “how did you all find each other?”
so hongjoong tells you
he talks for hours and hours and you listen all the while with a heavy heart, clinging onto his every word
on your final night, you two stay like that until the stars disappear and the horizon becomes streaked with the pale hues of sunrise
after the ship docks mere hours later, only hongjoong accompanies you to your kingdom after goodbyes are exchanged
wooyoung doesn’t take it well, and you find yourself holding back tears of your own as you are let through the palace doors with the captain by your side
but you blink them away when you approach the throne room because vulnerability is not an emotion you are willing to display
“y/n”
the queen addresses you curtly when you enter, and hongjoong wonders for a split second whether he has brought you back to the wrong kingdom
he knows your mother does not treat you fondly, but it’s still staggering to see it before his very own eyes
the monarch glances distastefully over him before her eyes flicker back to you
“i did not expect your return,” she states
your eyes remain impassive as you merely answer, “neither am i delighted to be back”
hongjoong recognises this look
he’s seen it when you first boarded his ship; he’s seen it when your hackles were raised
he’s seen it in himself, when he had been a teenager filled with nothing but growing resentment, before he had met seonghwa
your mother sneers, “then you should have made yourself useful and stayed with the pirates. as a whore or a dog, whatever it took.”
hongjoong has understood you since learning of your demons, but right now, he is you
he sees fifteen-year-old kim hongjoong, standing before a couple who are his parents only by title
he sees fifteen-year-old kim hongjoong, who doesn’t know what he has done that deems him undeserving of love
he sees fifteen-year-old kim hongjoong, all alone with no one to take his hand
“or really, you should have died on the ship”
hongjoong is close enough to you to hear the small hitch in your breath at your mother’s final jab
he may not have had someone to save his younger self, but he can do that now
he can be the person he so desperately needed years ago
and so he does just that.
hongjoong grabs your hand and drags you out of the palace
no one stops the two of you from leaving and he is unsure whether his heart hurts for you or sings with relief
you can only stutter in shock as you try to keep up, “hongjoong, what about your payment?”
his determined steps do not slow down, even as he looks back at you with a sure smile, “i told you before. some things are worth more than money”
the comforting squeeze of his hand conveys that you are worth more than any amount of money
the form of the arriba grows bigger in the distance and you think you can see the movement of excitement on deck when the crew spots your figures
hongjoong has slowed down his steps, but he has yet to let go of your hand
“and you deserve to know that. welcome to the crew, y/n”
to a family and love that you never had
you think you like the sound of that
“thank you, captain”
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seonghwa
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pov: you're a royal navy officer in disguise
you lay awake in your hammock, listening to the soft snores of the crew members around you
sleep doesn’t come easy to you anymore
particularly tonight
you contemplate whether it’s worth the risk to simply not show up
you know what the consequences are if they capture you - a slow and painful death - but you’re unsure whether you want to put ateez on the line too
your ship is currently docked for the night, having made a port stop at alcarres following one of the crew’s wishes to retire the pirate lifestyle and settle in the small town
their last night with ateez had been celebrated with sloshing rum and rowdy jigs, something you had found strange
there’s none of that in the royal navy
when one leaves, it is shameful and through one of three options only; old age, crippling injury, or…death
you had asked seonghwa, the quartermaster, why he and the captain were so accepting when crew members left as they wished
he had simply smiled and answered, “better a small but loyal crew than a large and unpredictable crew”
his words are like a sharp stone in your shoe as you finally slip out of your hammock and make your way off the ship
as ordered, you head to the tavern addressed
you salute the person in front of you and ease into your seat with a formality only when he disregards you
“admiral jang”
“you’re late,” the royal navy officer raises an eyebrow
“sorry, sir. i had to make sure everyone was asleep”
it’s not exactly the truth, but no one needs to know that you had spent an hour in your hammock questioning your morality
he ignores your excuse, jesting as he asks of your captain, “has the pirate king found the chart’s whereabouts yet?”
the charts
centuries ago, a crew of experienced sailors had travelled the six great seas and created the original navigational charts
the charts had become scattered and lost over time, but its value only increased exponentially as more and more sailors became victims to the sea trying to map its waters to the same detail and accuracy as the original charts
of the six originals, only the whereabouts of five are known, with most of them within the possession of the royal navy
it’s rumoured that hongjoong - the pirate king - has his hands on two of them and is currently tracking down the lost chart of the aurorian sea
the only sea that has yet to be chartered after its original map due to its dangerous and unpredictable sailing conditions
you know that your next words can hold an inexplicable amount of possibilities
“not yet. the last lead didn’t get him anywhere. turned out the last of the ahn clan had passed a decade ago”
his lips flatten at the lack of worthwhile information
“where’s the captain headed to next, then?” he probes
for a split second, the thought of lying crosses your mind
you can’t provide a different location - it would be much too obvious and would raise immediate suspicions
but you could give him a different time frame
after all, it’s not uncommon for navigational routes to be one to two weeks off should the waters be unpredictable enough
you find the truth spilling out of you anyway once you’re looking into his stone-cold eyes
“vlasgar. in about three weeks’ time”
for a moment, time stands still as your heart pounds and you attempt to slow your breathing, the officer staring back at you calculatingly
then he finally hums in satisfaction
you think that he is going to dismiss you, but as you make a move to leave, he leans back in his seat
the split second of hesitation was enough
“remember where your loyalty lies, y/n”
the air feels cold with the underlying threat
seonghwa’s words flit through your mind
better a small but loyal crew than a large and unpredictable crew
you swallow, “of course, admiral”
and then you’re dismissed with a nod
the unsettling feeling follows you all the way back to the ship and every miniscule creak of the floorboards underneath you seems to be amplified in the silence
you let out a short gasp of surprise when you’re about to climb back into your hammock, only to see seonghwa blinking blearily at you
“couldn’t sleep ‘gain?” he mumbles
you choke out a response, “yeah”
“i’ll make you tea b’fore you sleep ‘morrow,” his words slur with sleepiness
“okay,” you whisper
but you know it won’t make a difference
after all, there’s no remedy for guilt
it continues to fester the next day, as you linger outside the captain’s quarters
you can’t remember why you had come down to the lower deck, but it doesn’t matter now, not with seonghwa and the captain discussing what you think is related to the aurorian chart
“do you think he’s still in vlasgar?”
“min taesoo? it’s hard to say. but i’m sure he’ll have acquaintances still on the island who may have an idea of where he’s gone”
min taesoo
your brain tries to carefully file the name away, knowing that it’s what admiral jang would want to know, but at the same time, your heart tries to pretend it doesn’t know what you have heard so that you can forget about it
you find yourself scratching the name onto a scrap of paper anyway
unbeknownst to you, at the almost-imperceivable sound of your footsteps walking away, the two men behind the doors share a look
the crew sets sail again in the afternoon towards the next destination - vlasgar - and the scrap of paper in your pocket weighs you down so heavily that you feel off-kilter as you absentmindedly follow jongho up into the rigging to unfurl the sails
you’re near the top of the ropes when a sudden wave lurches the boat to starboard
it’s only a small push, really, but with your mind elsewhere, it catches you off guard and you miss your next step
the feeling of your hand dislodging from the sudden drag of your body weight brings you back to the present with a yell of surprise
(whether it’s your own or jongho’s, you can’t remember)
your sailing experience takes over and you try to swing your body back towards the safety of the rigging
you barely manage to grasp the ropes again but your hands slip down with your weight until they hit the next knot, the hot rush of friction threatening your grip
with adrenaline rushing through your body, you shakily climb back down, where there are several pairs of hands waiting to help you down the rest of the rigging
seonghwa’s hands do not leave you even after your feet are planted on the deck again
dread and shame heat the back of your neck and curl around onto your cheeks, knowing that a mistake like the one you had just made - accidental or not - would lead to a punishment like confinement in the lower deck back in the royal navy
except, when an apology starts to form on your lips, seonghwa bursts out in dismay
“y/n, your hands!”
you let out an unintelligible noise as seonghwa gently turns your palms over and you realise that the ropes have grazed some of the skin off
“it’s fine,” you want to say
but you’re silenced when he leads you to the small sick bay on the orlop deck
even if there is no surgeon on board, there is a small chest fastened to the wall that is home to their few and valuable medical supplies
you sit as he fusses over you with alcohol and strips of cloth
although he does a good job of wrapping your hands, your insides start to bleed with how intensely guilt eats away at you, like a maggot deep inside the core of a festering apple
that night as you shuffle towards your hammock to sleep, you flinch when you find seonghwa already sitting in his
he’s fighting the heaviness in his eyes as he carefully cradles something
upon seeing you, he wordlessly hands it to you with a sleepy smile before he finally sags into his own hammock with a content sigh
you look down and the warmth of it seems to burn through the padded dressing that the man before you has tenderly wrapped around your palms
the sensation travels upwards to burn your heart too
because in your hands is a cup of warm chamomile tea
and yet, despite the emptied cup, you find yourself unable to fall asleep
but in the darkness of the sky, with no witnesses other than the waves and sea foam themselves, a small piece of crumpled paper gets tossed overboard that night
the closer their ship approaches vlasgar, the more distant seonghwa notices you become
he worries
seonghwa thinks he worries for the reasons that he should be
he is the quartermaster; entrusted to protect the crew as the captain’s right-hand man
if that means ensuring no one will compromise the rest of his crew, even if it’s you, then so be it
that’s what he justifies to himself as he walks through the cobbled streets of vlasgar, slinking through the shadows as he follows your figure from a safe distance
(in reality, seonghwa worries for the reasons that he is not quite ready to admit yet)
he follows you into the dim bar of a tavern and carefully situates himself where he can watch over you without being discovered
he orders a mug of common ale as you approach someone
the man is dressed in civilian attire, but seonghwa can tell straight away from his demeanour and expression that he is not as ordinary as he appears
it’s confirmed when he hears you say, “admiral jang”
and then he sees it
the small but striking lapel pin on the breast of the man’s coat - the royal navy’s insignia
seonghwa feels for the sash that’s hidden underneath his own jacket and his fingertips meet the cool metal of the pistol tied inside
“you better have updates for me, y/n. what’s the pirate king’s purpose here in vlasgar?”
seonghwa knows he only has about five seconds to make a decision - one that could jeopardise the crew, or one that could jeopardise you
but you surprise yourself and the both of them when you answer steadfastly, “i don’t know, sir”
despite the din of drunker patrons in the tavern, it seems to fall deathly silent
“am i hearing wrong, officer?” the admiral questions with a disbelieving scoff
to your credit, your voice does not waver when you state again, “no, sir. i believe the captain and quartermaster are lying low. they have not revealed anything to me nor the rest of the crew”
seonghwa suddenly understands why you have distanced yourself
the admiral’s jaw tics
“is that so.”
you do not respond, only focusing on the spot between his raised eyebrows as he leans forward across the table
“where does your loyalty lie, y/n?”
neither the admiral nor seonghwa need to hear your answer to know the truth
a small crew may be outnumbered, but they have strength in loyalty and devotion
there’s a glint of movement from underneath the table as the admiral inches something out from his belt
seonghwa makes his decision
you flinch, eyes wide as there’s a deafening gunshot and the table beside you splinters and scatters the tankards of alcohol onto the floor
instantaneously, chaos erupts
there are drunken yells of fright and weapons clumsily brandished, tables upturned and chairs hurled across the room
it only takes one other misfired shot for the tavern to descend into hellfire as customers who were previously drinking together now turn on one another
nobody notices the two pirates dashing out, not even admiral jang, who is busy wrangling two inebriated men off his arms
your composure dissolves the moment you are dragged into an alleyway several streets away and you look up in shock to discover-
“seonghwa?! why are you here?”
“i could say the same about you,” he counters, hardly out of breath
you’re stunned by the fact that he seems completely unfazed by the mess that he has just dragged you out of
something clicks
“was that you? did you know all along?”
seonghwa smiles, “let’s just say you’re not as subtle as you think you are when you sneak around. plus, it’s uncommon for sailors to have the experience that you do without having had some sort of training”
you curse under your breath and wince, “does hongjoong know too?”
the quartermaster nods and you fear the answer to your next question
“then why has he not…why have you not…”
“killed you yet?” seonghwa chuckles. “i’m sure you’ve realised by now how skewed the royal navy’s beliefs are”
you’re quiet
the royal navy has always been cult-like in preaching the ruthlessness and barbarism of pirates, drilling into the officers the belief that pirates are the scum of the sea
but everything that you’ve known has been proven false since you’ve joined ateez; ironically, the pirates are more humane than the royal navy themself
their crew stand at attention whenever hongjoong or seonghwa walk onto the deck - not out of cultivated fear but genuine respect
when jongho is sore and tired from handling the riggings on a particularly rough and windy day, the others will offer to cover for his chores instead of flogging him into submission
and when mingi is divvying up the shares of the provisions and loot, the others will slip an extra bar of soap for seonghwa, the shiniest ring for mingi, or the largest bottle of rum for yunho, because they want to make each other happy
“hongjoong is the pirate king, yes, but a king should not take the lives of others for his own power. a true king uses his power to change the lives of others for the better…like yours…and like mine”
you frown with a jerk of your head
“what do you mean?”
you can’t see seonghwa as a broken man whatsoever
he gives you a weak smile, “i, too, used to be part of the royal navy”
your jaw drops
everything clicks into place - how he had figured out you weren’t just a common sailor and why he hadn’t confronted you about it
the shame and guilt come rushing back over you in a storm that is much too familiar by now
“i’m so sorry, all i’ve done is betray your trust-”
“but that’s what second chances are for, no?” seonghwa cuts you off, playfully flicking your forehead as he reminds you, “and i’m pretty sure you’ve chosen me over the royal navy”
your cheeks grow hot
“not you. the crew,” you mutter
he laughs and it’s a wonderful sound
“come on, it’s late,” seonghwa beckons. “let’s get some sleep”
when he sees that you’re still rooted to the spot, unsure whether you are deserving to go back, he decides for you and moves behind you to gently nudge you forward by the shoulders
you let him guide you
his hands are warm, you note, even through the linen of your shirt
his hands are also pretty, you observe, when he tries to fluff your hammock once you two have crept your way back to the berth
seonghwa helps you up into the hammock and you watch as he climbs into his
his hands are also teeming with love, you realise, when he wordlessly extends his arm nearest to you in a silent invitation
if you both reach out, you can just entwine your hands together from your respective hammocks
the burns on your palms have healed nicely and without the need for them to be wrapped, you can feel every expanse of his hand covering yours
he doesn’t retract his hand and neither do you, even though it’s not the most comfortable position and you both lose feeling of your arms soon after
but you lay in your hammock, drifting to the soft snores of the crew members around you and the soft tug of seonghwa’s fingers in yours
sleep comes easy to you
particularly tonight
as it will for the rest of your life
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yunho
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pov: you're the crew's navigator
you know it’s going to happen even before it actually does
you can feel it in the air and from the way the baby hairs around your hairline start to frizz
but you never say anything because you wouldn’t trade it for the moment when the first raindrop hits the back of yunho’s neck and he abandons his duty at the helm to drag you out onto the upper deck
(hongjoong only sighs in defeat before he stations himself at the helm instead)
you don’t like the rain
not like yunho does
you are already looking up from the map spread out in the captain’s quarters, a knowing smile on your face just from the sound of his bounding footsteps alerting you of his presence, when yunho appears with the beckon of rain
you pretend to let yourself be dragged to your feet along to his urges of come on!
but then you dash forward towards the hatch with yunho chasing after your bright laughter
in the short span of time that it has taken him to fetch you, the sprinkle of rain has steadily grown and the weathered planks of the deck are already a dark grey
you feel the coldness of the raindrops hitting the crown of your head and the spreading chill as your clothes start to become damp
but that’s not what makes you feel alive
yunho catches up to you easily and then he is snaking his arms around your waist to lift you up into the air
you barely have time to squeal and steady yourself on his broad shoulders before he is spinning the two of you around, the world blurring away as the spotlight shines on him and he is all that you can see
the deck is your stage and the sea is your audience
rain with yunho is twirling hugs, tiptoed kisses and tinkling laughter. it’s soaked shirts and rosy cheeks and the only thing that matters in the moment
you don’t like the rain, but it’s easy to like the rain when it’s with him
(hongjoong lets the two of you be - so obviously and hopelessly enamoured by each other - because when one sees people in love, one cannot help but watch and smile)
the rain eventually peters out and you and yunho must return to your respective duties, but not until you two have changed out of your drenched clothes and sneaked in a few more kisses
a few hours later, you hear the racket above the deck as a ship pulls up beside the arriba and ropes are thrown across from both sides to lash the vessels close together
hongjoong comes down to join you in his quarters, but he’s not alone
behind him is the captain of the silver light, dae jihoo, and his quartermaster, with seonghwa entering last
you note that this crew doesn’t have a navigator of their own
but you suppose that’s one of the reasons why their captain had implored an alliance for this particular raid
the crew of the silver light are wanting to target the prosperity triangle - an area between three large ports that is frequently trafficked by wealthy vessels transporting valuable goods
it’s a raid that would prove difficult for a smaller pirate crew like your own and the silver light, and especially if they have no navigator
but it’s not uncommon for pirates to form temporary alliances for such purposes, and together, your crews have a good chance of plundering a fortune
you nod your head in acknowledgement when hongjoong introduces you to the two pirates as ateez’s navigator
you don’t miss the way jihoo’s eyes seem to linger on you for a second too long before he flashes a crooked grin and gestures towards the navigational map spread out on the oak table
clearing your throat of discomfort, you step forward and flatten the creases out with your hands
“this is the most open spot within the triangle that the vessel we’re after will pass through,” you tap an annotated spot on the chart, “and this is where we are now”
you slide your finger across, “we’ll follow the rhumb line west to avoid the shallower waters and when we can catch the trade winds, it should be smooth sailing from there”
jihoo challenges you, “how can you be sure we’ll catch the ship within the triangle?”
“they’ll need to sail past the equator and i’m almost certain their ship will be slowed down by the doldrums. we can easily gain knots on them”
he squints at the scribbles you’ve made noting down what you’ve gathered of the wind patterns
you know for a fact that it will mean nothing to him, but whatever he sees must satisfy him because jihoo appears to make up his mind
“when do we set sail?” he directs his question to your captain
“three days from now”
he grunts a noise of affirmation and stands, which hongjoong takes as the cue to see them and the rest of their crew off your ship
you trail behind the group as you all head back to the upper deck
you prepare to emerge from the hatch with a playful wink, knowing that yunho will be craning his neck from the helm to get a glimpse of you, when a sudden holler surprises you out of your thoughts
it’s immediately met with the answering cries of several other pirates - none from your crew - and you hurry to clear the hatch to gain your bearings
you’re thrust right into the throes of battle as ateez are forced to unsheathe their cutlasses to defend against silver light’s sudden attack
having been caught off guard, basically none of your firearms are loaded with gunpowder, rendering them unusable
you will have to make do with the short sabre at your waist
there’s no time to account for the whereabouts and safety of your crew members and you just have to pray that you all make it out of this unscathed
especially yunho
but as ateez retaliate, you all notice something is off about the situation
your crew is very quickly overpowering the other pirates - it was a losing fight for them from the very beginning
it makes no sense to you nor the rest of your crew
the losses of breaking the alliance before the planned raid, much less through betrayal, far outweigh any gains they could possibly make from their choice of action
it makes absolutely no sense
until it does.
you are blocking the swing of a sabre with your own when you are tugged backwards harshly by the collar of your shirt
there’s an angry snarl in your throat as you prepare to turn around, but it’s quickly silenced by the warning shot of a pistol right beside your ear
the cold ring of metal is then pressed to the back of your head
you know that firearms require time to reload and there’s a chance that this pistol is now useless
but, like wooyoung has taught the rest of the crew to do, they may have pre-prepared several pistols and you are not willing to play with fire - especially when you are only the flex of a finger away from death
you vaguely hear someone yell out your name in panic, but you’re not quite sure you hear correctly over the clamour of cutlasses clashing, warcries resounding and your own heartbeat pounding
“stand down or your navigator dies,” the voice behind you thunders
it’s jihoo…and he wants a navigator for his crew
“ateez,” one of your men commands, “lower your weapons”
your crew may make decisions fairly, but in battle, only hongjoong has the power to make commands
yunho has never spoken against his captain or disobeyed orders
until now
the words do not come out of your captain’s mouth but yunho’s
the rest of the members hesitate - they will not stand down unless hongjoong commands them to, yet, they are unsure whether they will be able to follow should he demand them to fight on, even if it means endangering your life
but there is no guarantee jihoo will let your crew go unharmed even after you all surrender, and as the captain, hongjoong must make decisions in the best interest for the crew
“captain!” yunho yells desperately
yunho never yells
“stand down,” hongjoong commands
silver light’s captain steps in closer behind you until you can hear and feel the noise of intriguement that leaves his mouth down the back of your neck
“that your loverboy, hmm?”
he smirks
there’s a false moment of primal relief when the press of the pistol is removed from the back of your head, but it is immediately replaced with fear that is irrevocably worse as he aims it in yunho’s direction and shoots
“no!”
you shriek and pull against the tug of his hold, still fisted around your collar, your pupils blown wide with terror at the sight of the clean hole in the mast right beside yunho’s head
“it’ll be pretty boy’s head next if you don’t come with me,” jihoo coos into your ear
the fight slips out of you immediately
because if you can save him, a life for a life, then you will
even if the sight of mingi holding yunho back from lunging forward when the pistol’s barrel returns to your head makes your heart clench painfully
“y/n, don’t you dare,” yunho pleads, voice filled with anguish
you’re barely given enough time to lock eyes with him and say resolutely, “remember what you said to me,” before you are tugged away to the boarding plank
ateez can only watch helplessly as the planks are removed from over the bulwarks and the last of the ropes are untied, releasing the silver light from their ship for good
jihoo tugs you down the hatch as the ship starts to pull away, and just like that, you’re gone from their sights
“fuck!” yunho shouts furiously, unable to contain his emotions as he turns around and connects his fist with the mast
right where the musket ball had made a hole
his hand pulls away with bloodied knuckles from the splintered wood and the sheer force of his punch
a concerned whine leaves seonghwa’s mouth and he tries to approach the taller, but yunho shakes him off and looks determinedly at hongjoong
“we’re sailing to the banver isle just east of the triangle. we’ll ambush them there”
seonghwa looks between the two, hope flickering in his chest at the potential plan, “you think the silver light are stupid enough to try taking on the prosperity triangle alone?”
yunho chuckles darkly, “they were fucking shitbrained enough to take y/n, so yes”
nobody disagrees and hongjoong smirks dangerously
“ateez, ready the sails for banver isle,” he commands. “prepare for battle”
because not only have the silver light taken you away from ateez, but they have also annihilated the light from yunho’s eyes
gone are his warm brown orbs - they are now black holes thirsty for retribution
there will be lives to pay and even that will not be enough for the void
unaware of what your crew is capable of, jihoo looks down at you with a triumphant leer
“you’ll navigate us to the triangle in three days’ time. don’t even think about lying - you’ve already shown me where the location is”
with an even nod you reply, “of course”
it’s true though - you have absolutely no intention of navigating them somewhere else
because you know yunho will be waiting there for you
amidst chaste kisses exchanged between plush lips cold from the rain, yunho tells you in a brief moment of seriousness
“don’t show them where the real location is,” his breath is warm across your cheeks. “you know the coastal island roughly ten nautical miles away? show them that instead”
you tilt your head to look up at him, “you think they’ll betray us?”
“no,” he reassures you with a deeper, slower kiss, “but we can never be too safe”
and even if your vessels miss each other this time, you have complete faith that yunho will sail to the very ends of the world just to find you
two days before the originally-planned raid, the arriba sails as closely to banver isle as possible without risking running aground
yunho has navigated the ship around the back of the isle so that the form of the rocky terrain conceals them from sight
once the anchor is lowered, the crew members use every ticking moment to make preparations
swords are sharpened and firearms cleaned
mingi distributes the gunpowder and ammunition, which is pre-loaded into muskets, pistols and swivel cannons ready to be engaged
the ship’s sails and riggings are checked and yeosang keeps a keen lookout in the crow’s nest
and it’s as if the world itself can sense the brewing storm that grows inside yunho
the sea is eerily still and silent, but the sky is an omen to something impending, its rolling clouds dark and angry with the threat of rain leering over the waters
yunho doesn’t actually like the rain
he only likes it because it’s with you
rain with you is barefoot dancing, breathless confessions and bashful giggles. it’s drenched locks and fluttering eyelashes and the only thing that exists in the moment
but as the profile of the silver light finally approaches the isle two days later, the heavens split open and you are not by his side
rain without you is falling pinpricks, frigid winds and flaunting mockery and yunho despises it with his entire being
at yeosang’s call of, “vessel approaching from starboard,” up in the lookout, yunho smothers the fervid desire to barrage the other ship with cannonballs like hail from hell; to unleash an inferno that blazes through their hull as he sadistically watches the crew jump for their lives
he stamps out the hunger to shoot the ones that make it into the sea, not to kill, only to maim and induce a long, painful struggle in the open waters until death becomes inevitable - until there is enough blood spilt that it becomes the only stench in the air that stretches across for miles
yunho leashes his monsters with an iron fist
because he will not do anything that could even remotely endanger your life
even if it means that he has to hold back - to sit and wait like prey instead of advancing on the other ship like a predator
at least not yet.
silver light do not know, but this is the calm before the storm
the heavens may be crying, the winds may be howling and the waters may be roiling
but this is nothing compared to yunho
yunho is a tempest of unparalleled rage and their ship is in the eye of his storm
as the bowsprit of the silver light starts to appear around the isle, the members ready their grappling hooks and yunho draws his cutlass with a menacing whisper of unsheathing metal
you are his treasure, and pirates never lose sight of their treasure
today…you return to him
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yeosang
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pov: you're a tavern keeper
watching the ale reach the brim of the tankard you are holding, you’re about to step away from the barrel when the voice of a patron sounds behind you
“‘scuse me, could i get a mint-”
you look up and turn around in confusion as their voice cuts off
only to have the question taken right from the tip of your own tongue as you’re met with the face of the person you had loved for years
the same person you have spent twice as long trying to forget
eyes searching each other’s in a surprised stupor, seeing kang yeosang standing right in front of you takes you back to those memories that you have tried to remember and simultaneously bury
it thrusts you headfirst into what used to be of your shared love - like the feathery remnants of a dream, so distant from the fingers of your consciousness, suddenly returning to vivid existence when you least expect it
“hey, mint leaf. i’m back”
yeosang at least has the perceptiveness to appear a little apologetic, immediately pulling you into a hug and pressing soft kisses against your hairline uncaring of the other people in the tavern
it’s been several weeks since you last saw him, and whilst he had warned you he would be gone for longer this time, you hadn’t expected it to mean two whole months
he’s a small merchant who also fishes along the coast to earn enough to make ends meets, so he’s often gone for a few days or a week or two
you knew what you were in for when you first made it official with him, but just because you become accustomed to something, doesn’t mean it gets any easier
and he’s never been gone for this long
something must have happened - something good - because he looks alive, cheeks glowing and eyes fiery
“i met the crew”
“the crew?” you ask, hands reaching for the bourbon to prepare him a drink as he lets himself behind the counter to stand beside you in your workspace
he nods excitedly, "wooyoung’s pirate crew, ateez"
you think you know where this is going to go and you hate that your stomach sinks at the thought of what your future may become, because yeosang looks so happy to tell you about this and a happy yeosang is all that you could ask for
“the captain offered me a position as their lookout”
you pick out your next words carefully as you hand him his finished drink - a mint julep with two sugar cubes, just the way he likes it
"aren't…isn't being a pirate dangerous?"
“not as dangerous as you might think, actually. they’ve been showing me the ropes the last couple of weeks and…and i think i want to join them. officially”
there it is
the forked end of the road
you wonder how far two people can keep walking with their hands intertwined before the distance becomes too great and they have to let go
his words become a little muddled when he goes on to tell you about how they divvied up their recent loot to include his share too
how he’s gained more money than he’s made from the last two years of working as a merchant and fisherman combined
if he joins his old friend and his crew, he could earn enough to buy his parents a proper house; earn enough to build you your very own tavern
you want to tell him that you don’t need the tavern, just him, but you also know just how important his family is to him
his filial desire to take care of his parents was one of the very reasons you fell in love with him in the first place
before you can say anything though, the tavern keeper is interrupting to let you know that your shift is over
yeosang immediately perks up and herds you out of the place, claiming that there is a new fishing spot he discovered that he has to show you
and so you sit while he rows his modest boat, only the splash of his oars disturbing the peaceful stillness that has settled over the waters as the sun dips below the horizon
the waning light casts a soft, warm glow over him, like a gentle kiss against his skin and birthmark
if angels graced the earth, there would be one sitting right in front of you
“i missed you, mint leaf,” he confesses, gaze shyly averted. “i thought about you when i was gone”
“did you think about showing me this place?” you feel a little breathless
he nods, “every single night”
and that’s enough for you
it feels like everything is okay again
it doesn’t matter if you’re standing at a forked road
you think that perhaps, for him, you can walk on an unpaved path - just so that you can keep holding his hand
“y/n”
yeosang’s voice is deep
the word sounds foreign to your own ears but you don’t dwell on it
(because if you do, you’ll wonder whether it’s because you’ve forgotten the sound of his voice or because you want to hear him calling you something else)
“what would you like to order?” you ask
(because it’s easier to pretend that he’s just another patron than to admit that he used to be all that you ever knew)
yeosang fumbles a little but then regains himself, “oh, um- just a mint julep, please”
you turn your back to him to prepare his drink, hands reaching for the barrels lined along the bottom shelves without needing to look
you’ve made this drink too many times to count
half of those times were in the safety of the darkness that midnight offered; when the tears could flow freely without anyone seeing
it’s only when you start to mix his cocktail that yeosang realises he didn’t ask for his sugar cubes, but he figures the drink will taste bitter tonight either way so he opts to watch you instead
he wishes that he could walk past the counter like he used to and wrap his arms around you
he wishes that he could whisper endearments into your ears and press them against your lips
he wishes that he could show you that he still loves you
“do you still love me?” your voice wavers with hurt as you stand in front of him
he’s finally back after being gone for four months this time and you hate this conversation as much as he does, but it was bound to happen eventually
yeosang pleads, “more than anything”
“then why does it hurt so much? loving you…and being loved by you”
he doesn’t have an answer
but god be damned if he doesn’t try to find a way to fix things
“tell me, mint leaf, what can i do?”
you blink back your tears furiously, having already made up your mind while he was still at sea
“let’s break up”
because in the end, unpaved paths have too many rocks, too many thorns and too many arched roots; they were never meant to be walked along
you pass yeosang his finished drink without another word and then move further down the counter to serve a different customer
his eyes linger on you wistfully before he tears them away from you
it’s a good thing his hair has grown long enough to cover his face when he looks down
because his eyes start to grow wet at the sight of the mint julep you have made him
with two sugar cubes in it, just the way he likes it
perhaps, once you’ve loved somebody, you never really stop loving them
yeosang shows up again the next day and seats himself at the bar
you don’t serve him though, actively avoiding his end of the counter and letting another of your staff tend to him
he orders his usual but he leaves out his request for additional sugar cubes
it feels wrong for him to order it from someone that isn’t you
but you’re watching out of the corner of your eye as the worker mixes the bourbon, sugar and water, topping it with a few mint leaves and then sliding it across the counter for him
you let out a little sigh, half amused, when he takes a small sip and smacks his lips together at the bitterness
you take two sugar cubes and drop it unceremoniously into his pewter cup before you realise what you’re doing
yeosang immediately seizes the opportunity to talk to you
“my crew’s docked for the fortnight…” he waits to see if you’ll respond. you don’t, but you also don’t move away, so he continues. “we’re making some repairs to the hull and sails before our next raid”
you have half a mind to walk away after you reply, “i didn’t ask” 
he forges on regardless
“we’re going to work with another crew for this one. it’s going to increase our chances of a successful raid because-”
your voice comes out a little harsher than you mean for it to when you hiss again, “i didn’t ask”
yeosang’s mouth closes as he pulls away slightly, back straightening
then he says in a softer voice, “i’ve been doing well. wooyoung still takes care of me, even though i’m not new to the crew anymore. i also saw my parents today and they’re happily retired now…”
you don’t stop him from talking this time
because how many sleepless nights have you spent sitting outside your tavern looking up at the stars; how many times have you served a mint julep to a patron and accidentally added sugar cubes; how many moments have you been consumed by the thought of him, simply wondering if he is living well?
this is everything that you have ever wanted - yeosang in the flesh letting you know that, yes, he has been well
but it is also everything that you have ever feared - that he has been well even without you
you don’t know what to feel
“my parents asked about you,” he says gingerly. “how have you been?”
his voice is barely audible, as if he is afraid of what you might say
or perhaps, afraid that you might not say anything at all
“good. excellent,” you force a small smile, your eyes still focused on the mint leaves floating in his drink. you don’t think you can look at him. “i own this place now”
his body loses its tension, cheeks rounding as he looks at you with genuine relief
“that’s…that’s really good to hear”
his words sting
you are unsure if it stings your ego or if it picks at the wound in the shape of the person you have lost
but it hurts to know that he has worried over you in the exact same way you have over him, the whole time you two have been apart
you’re suddenly overwhelmed by the realisation and hot tears well in your eyes almost immediately
your bottom lip starts to crumple so you rush into the back room to escape
“y/n!” yeosang calls out after you, alarmed
when you don’t stop, disappearing into the storage, he jolts up from his seat and follows
your body shudders with every heaving breath you take, unable to stop yourself from crying even harder when you feel him tug you into his chest
you try to pull away but his sturdy arms tighten around you
yeosang refuses to let you go once more
“i hate you,” you sob, struggling against his hold as you hit his chest weakly
he hushes comforts against the crown of your head, soothing noises as he endures your fists
“you have every reason to”
yeosang holds back tears of his own
he feels your body gradually losing its fight, sinking into his embrace instead, hands desperately holding him close
your voice is so impossibly small when you tearfully confess, “but i still love you”
“oh, mint leaf,” he brushes the stray locks of hair away from your face and cradles your jaw tenderly, “i still love you, too”
he presses a soft kiss against your forehead, pulling away once only to reaffirm, “so, so much”
when he kisses you again, his lips taste salty against your own, but nothing has ever tasted sweeter than this
your breath no longer stutters but the tears continue to run down your face because your heart finally feels right after all these years apart
and yet-
you pull away
“we can’t do this”
yeosang feels his heart shattering
“why not? i don’t understand,” he whimpers
“you know why,” you say distressingly, “my life is here, yeosang. i can’t just leave and return whenever i want. but you, on the other hand? you can. you go where your crew goes - you belong with them”
“but my heart belongs to you. please, y/n,” he begs
his arms are still wrapped around you and you feel his desperation as his fingers cling onto you like a lifeline
you look earnestly into his bloodshot eyes, your own vision blurry, “yeo, you’re not the one who gets left behind here. you’re not the one who waits weeks, months, years on end, just hoping that the next person to walk in is the person that you want to see”
he wants to plead that he waits to see you, too, but he knows that he’s the one who leaves, too
“you’re the right one for me - the only one for me - but it’s not the right time,” you tell him gently
slowly, his arms lower themselves from around you
“it wasn’t the right time then and it isn’t the right time now,” he repeats, “then when is the right time for us?”
you shoot the question right back at him, “when is the right time for someone whose life is to sail the world?”
neither of you know the answer
nobody does, because loving a pirate has no certainties
but yeosang doesn’t give up
“if we can’t ever be sure, why don’t we just make it the right time ourselves?”
you caress his cheek sweetly, and despite having stepped away from you earlier, he leans into your hand, starved of your loving touch and affection
“yeosang…what if we’ve already had it? what if…meeting each other was already it? what if we’re just meant to love from a distance, not side by side?” your voice is poignant but resolute
he brings up a hand to cover yours, still warm and tender against his wet cheek
how is it that he can be touching you yet simultaneously feel worlds apart from you
“okay,” he accepts with a whisper
if loving you silently is the only way he gets to love you, then he will choose it in a heartbeat over losing you entirely
he thumbs away the remainder of your tears
“can i kiss you? one last time?” he asks
you nod
“one last time”
your lips slowly meet, slotting together as they find their home in each other’s dips and curves
his hands cradle the small of your back and neck and your own hands rest against his chest
the kiss you share is steady, longing and bittersweet
it conveys everything that you want to say to each other, and even then, it is hardly enough
thank you
i’m sorry
i love you
goodbye…
you can feel your eyes burning up again, but you focus on the feeling of yeosang’s lips against yours instead
because you know that the moment one of you pulls away, that is it forever
in the world of love, there are people who are ill-fated
they meet the right person, but at the wrong time
and then there are people like you and yeosang
not ill-fated, but star-crossed lovers
the right person…
but just not meant to be
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2K notes · View notes
pseudowho · 5 months
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(MASTERLIST DISCONTINUED- PLEASE SEE PINNED POST ON MY BLOG FOR NEW RESTRUCTURED MASTERLIST!)
Pseudowho's Original JJK Masterlist
Scroll through to see...
Nanami Kento
Higuruma Hiromi
Suguru Geto
Choso Kamo
Aoi Todo
JJK multi-character fics
Nanami Kento Masterlist
Updated: 28th March 2024
REQUESTS CLOSED
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🔥 Smut 💔 Angst 💕 Romance
☕ Comfort/Fluff 🤡 Clowning
🐙 Monsterfucking. 📚 Education (*dirty laugh*)
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1st of December 🔥☕💕 -- No-Nut November is over-- but Nanami Kento won't let you get away with it that easily.
7:3 🤡 -- Nanami Kento never thought about his 7:3 pattern...a fourth wall breaking moment.
"Dad Reflexes" Ask and Drabble 🤡💕☕-- Nanami Kento can catch anything.
Daylight Robbery 💕☕🔥-- when Gojo asks Nanami to cuckold him and his fiancée, things don't go the way Gojo planned...
Debellatio 🔥💕-- a Nanami x Reader x Higuruma sex-pollen threesome.
Ditch the Party 🔥💕-- Nanami Kento hates parties. But the drinks? The drinks make him bold.
Domain Expansion theory-- Pseudowho's vision of Nanami Kento's domain expansion.
Edging Nanami Kento 🔥💕-- The reader drives Nanami Kento to the edge and back again.
Fire and Iron 💕☕🔥-- AU!Nanami Kento is the town blacksmith, and the reader is forced to stay the night after tending to his wounds.
Full 🔥☕💕-- Nanami Kento treats his pregnant wife like the goddess she is.
Glory Glory 🔥☕💕-- "Help, I'm stuck!" on a mission with Kento, and he takes full advantage of the compromising position.
Good Boy 🔥💕-- after a bad day, you know exactly what Kento needs to help him relax...
Good Girl 💕🤡 -- a drabble
Grandpapamin ☕💕-- Nanami Kento as a grandfather, Headcanons.
Grey 🔥💔💕-- The reader lives a vigilante life; so does Nanami Kento, a changed man after the events of Shibuya. When she is sent to hunt him down, Nanami Kento has a proposition for her.
Grey! Nanami Headcanons Part One ☕💕💔-- post-Shibuya Nanami Kento x Reader headcanons.
Grey! Nanami Headcanons Part Two ☕💕💔-- post-Shibuya Nanami Kento x Reader headcanons.
Grey! Nanami Christmas ⛄🎄 Headcanons ☕💕💔-- post-Shibuya Nanami Kento x Reader Headcanons.
Hanahaki 💕☕💔-- being in love with you is killing Nanami Kento.
Hide and Seek 🔥-- Game night gets spicy.
"How well can you drive?" 🔥 -- the reader takes matters into her own mouth so Kento can prove his driving skills.
Infiltration (MULTI-CHAPTER) 🔥☕💔💕
(COMPLETE!) --the reader and Nanami Kento must pretend to be married, infiltrating a Curse-user cult to take it down from the inside.
Chapter One: Introduction
Chapter Two: Pillow Talk
Chapter Three: Deadly Games
Chapter Four: The Rumbling Shrine
Chapter Five: Breaking Point
Chapter Six: Exposed
Chapter Seven: The Captive Goddess
Chapter Eight: Unchained
In From the Cold ☕🔥💕-- The reader wanders in the snow, lost and injured after a mission gone wrong; will Nanami Kento save her?
Kento Comes Home Drunk 🔥💕-- and the reader handles his advances like a total champ.
And, its sequel... Reader Comes Home Drunk 🔥 💕-- where Kento manages the reader's advances like an absolute champ.
Knismolagnia 🔥💕-- Kento has a somewhat...erotic response to being tickled.
Last Moments 💔☕-- Nanami Kento remembers a childhood holiday.
Nanami Kento, and the Curses of an Unusual Nature (MULTI-CHAPTER) -- Nanami Kento is deemed the only Sorcerer sensible enough to handle some frankly weird Curses
- Chapter 1: Gone Shopping 🤡 -- locals are going missing at a large shopping centre; Nanami Kento is sent to investigate.
Nanami Kento's Massive Squeezable Man Tiddies 🔥☕-- the reader being casually obsessed with Kento's chest...repost link HERE!
Operation Babymaker (a new series!) 💕💔🔥☕ -- Nanami Kento takes trying for a baby very seriously indeed.
A Trip to the Tailors-- the reader reveals she's been off the pill for months, and Kento cannot contain himself.
Benchpress-- the reader interrupts Kento's workout, and is manhandled into submission.
Ditch the Party...again-- tipsy Kento is back, and deadlier than ever.
Wet Dreams-- Kento gives the reader a free-pass for when he's asleep...and he returns the favour
Raising You ☕💔💕-- When the reader is de-aged by a Curse, Nanami is forced to raise her like a daughter.
Red 🔥💔-- Nanami Kento, the infamous Curse-user, has been on the run for years...what will you do when he catches up to you?
Resolute ☕💔💕-- The reader helps Nanami to accept that he has a drinking problem.
Seasons of Grief 🔥💔💕☕ -- The reader supports Nanami Kento through the anniversary of Yuu Haibara's death, and afterwards, when Kento nearly loses the reader
Shirtsleeves 🔥 -- The reader steals Kento's last shirt, and receives her comeuppance.
Still Got It ☕💕-- The Nanami kids' parents are boring...right?
Stoic 💕🔥-- Kento is furious when Gojo assumes that his lack of PDA towards the reader shows a lack of desire.
The Accumulation of Little Despairs ☕💔💕 -- The reader struggles with low-mood; Nanami Kento comes to the rescue
The Chase 🔥💕-- The reader has insisted on No-Nut November; Nanami Kento gets his revenge by hunting her down and taking his reward.
Why I love Nanami Kento
Yet Another Sex Pollen Fic, PART ONE 🔥💕
And...PART TWO 🔥💕 -- the reader has a problem... and only Nanami Kento can help her scratch the itch.
Higuruma Hiromi Masterlist
Updated: 6th March 2024
REQUESTS CLOSED
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Calamus et Gladius (the pen and the sword) 🔥💕💔☕-- slow-burn, enemies to lovers Culling Game smut with Higuruma and a foreign reader
Daddy 🔥☕💕-- dating apps are a hazard for men like Higuruma Hiromi...
Debellatio 🔥💕-- a Higuruma x Reader x Nanami sex-pollen threesome
Fellatio 🔥-- the bathtub lawyer receives head in his office.
Fumus et Ignis 🔥💕-- sometimes, Hiromi smokes and ties you up while he makes you ride him.
Glory Glory 🔥☕-- 'Help, I'm Stuck!' with Hiromi, two bottles of wine and a compromising position with his gavel.
Hiromi and Nemo ☕-- tales of Higuruma Hiromi, and his little black cat.
Hiromi Higuruma Relationship Headcanons ☕🔥💕
In Flagrante Delicto 💔☕🔥💕-- Higuruma struggles to adapt to life as a sorcerer, refusing all of your offers to help...until he needs you.
"I've Committed a Crime" Ask and Drabble 🤡💕-- Higuruma is a ruthless tease
Jus in Bello: A Judicious Domain 💔🔥💕-- The reader throws Higuruma out of their home after they struggle to adapt to his new Cursed power...and the reader must then hunt him down in the Culling Game, to bring him home.
Men with Big Noses 🔥💕-- you reveal a kink for Higuruma's nose, and he shows you exactly what he can do with that.
Milk and Honey 💕🔥-- Hiromi is obsessed with your milk, and loves you while you sleep.
Office Besties ☕💕-- Hiromi and you are just friends...right?
Sanguis et Vinum 🔥💕-- period sex with Higuruma
Shower drabble ☕💕-- Higuruma comforts you after a bad day.
The Stairwell 🔥💕-- You've been teasing Higuruma all day at the office; he catches up to you, eventually.
Vinum Rubrum 🔥💕-- wine is better when you share a glass...and your mouths.
The Widow's Keeper ☕💔💕-- The reader and Higuruma traverse the complexities of love and grief, after the death of Nanami Kento, her first husband.
"Your Honour" Ask and Drabble 💕🤡🔥-- Hiromi forgets your name as he cums.
Suguru Geto Masterlist
Updated: 23rd February 2024
REQUESTS OPEN!
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Deadly Nightshade 🐙🔥💕-- a Suguru Geto "sex pollen" fic.
Kamo Choso Masterlist
Updated: 28th December 2023
REQUESTS OPEN!
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Glory Glory 🔥☕-- 'Help, I'm stuck!' on a mission together, and virgin Choso is offered the opportunity of a lifetime.
Snowhere to Go ☕💕-- When your date plans are foiled by the snow, you and Choso make your own fun with a stack of old board games.
Aoi Todo Masterlist
Updated: 27th January 2024
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Act of the Soul 🔥-- Aoi Todo uses his Boogie Boogie on the reader during sex.
JJK's Multi-Character Masterlist
Updated: 31st March 2024
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Being gross in long-term comfortable relationships ☕💕-- with Gojo, Geto, Nanami, Toji, Yuuta, Maki, Megumi, Nobara, Yuuji and Ino
"Cumfaces" Ask and Drabble 🤡
Defending Your Honour ☕💕-- the JJK boys are sick of the creeps and perverts who harass our dear reader.
Nanami, Todo and Geto
Higuruma, Ino and Yuuji
Gojo, Megumi and Nobara, Inumaki and Toji
Firemen 💔☕💕-- the JJK Crew rescue the Reader, and fall in love at the same time.
Nanami and Higuruma Aesthetics: ☕ 'Besto Friendos' dichotomies
Neat Suit/Messy Suit
Cold Anger/Hot Anger
"Stay down!" Fighter/"Get Up!" Fighter
City-Skyline Penthouse/Converted-Factory Penthouse aesthetics
IKEA Flat-pack Aesthetics
How They Ejaculate 🔥📚-- a physiological ejaculation study of Gojo, Nanami, Geto, Choso, Toji, Higuruma and TrueForm!Sukuna
Penis Synonym Smutfics 🤡🔥 -- with Nanami Kento, Hiromi Higuruma, Takuma Ino, Gojo Satoru and Inumaki Toge
Penpals (a Panda fic) 🐼☕-- he didn't mean to Catfish you. Honestly.
Shower Mat 🔥💕-- the reader buys an 'old lady shower mat'...that makes shower shenanigans suddenly possible.
Takuma Ino as a Young Dad ☕💕-- when Takuma unexpectedly becomes a father...
The Rebounds 🔥💕-- Yuuta and Maki show you the date of your life, after you're dumped
They Find You Wearing This...Unsexy Monstrosity 🤡 -- with Itadori Yuuji, Satoru Gojo, Higuruma, Sukuna, Toji, Nanami and Suguru
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foxy-eva · 3 months
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Elixir
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Summary: Studies suggest that orgasms can help relieve pain. Reader tests that theory when Spencer complains about a headache.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Category: Smut
Content Warning: (18+, minors DNI) mentions headaches and migraines, heavy kissing, a hint at somnophilia, handjob, thigh riding/grinding, unprotected penetrative sex
Word Count: 1.6k
Masterlist
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It had been a week since you’d kissed your boyfriend. An entire week of late-night phone calls, an uncountable amount of whispering, ‘I miss you’ and even more time spent yearning for him. With every step towards your apartment door your excitement grew, you couldn't wait to finally put your mouth on those beautiful lips again. Once you unlocked the door you were practically beaming with anticipation.
However, instead of being greeted with a similar amount of eagerness, Spencer only managed to whisper a timid, “Hi love.”
Your demeanor changed instantly when you found him lying on the couch, his head thrown back against the backrest. With quiet steps you came closer, worried that his migraines might have returned. 
“What's wrong?” You asked as you sat down beside him. 
“Just a tension headache.” 
Leaning down, you placed an innocent kiss on his cheek before breathing, “Sure it’s not a migraine?” 
“Yeah, I’m sure. I think I’m just overworked,” he sincerely told you. 
You lay down beside him and curled into his side. With your arm wrapped around his body you tried to get closer to him. 
“What can I do to make it better?”
Spencer turned his head and placed a soft kiss into your hair before mumbling, “Just having you close to me already helps.”
As you breathed in his intoxicating scent you tried to tame the burning fire inside you. That was until you remembered something. A smirk formed on your face when you decided to make a suggestion. 
You sat up to find his eyes before you said, “I read a study once that orgasms help with headaches. Maybe we should test that theory. You know… for science.”
The smile that formed on his face warmed your heart. It seemed like he thought about it for a moment but then admitted, “I’m sorry but I think I’m too exhausted to do anything.”
“That's okay,” you chirped. “I don't mind doing all the work. You can just sit back and look pretty.” 
Your boyfriend seemed intrigued but not yet convinced. “You really don’t have to.”
“I love taking care of you, Spencer,” you reassured him. 
He nodded, “Okay.”
Without any restraint he moved with you as you began undressing him. You rid him of every layer of fabric until he lay completely bare on the couch. Unabashedly you let your eyes roam over his body, taking in the beauty in front of you. 
“You’re so pretty,” you mumbled while reaching out your hand to touch the softness of his tummy. 
He gasped when your fingertips began dancing along the trail of hair underneath his navel. Spencer’s hand found the hem of your shirt, tugging on it to signal you that he wanted to see everything your body had to offer. 
Slowly you began shedding your own clothes, revealing your skin to him while noticing how he seemed to get more and more excited. Your lips captured his in a kiss that quickly turned passionate while one of your hands snuck down his body.
He was already half-hard when your fingers began brushing over velvety skin. In a matter of just a few moments he got so aroused that his erection felt hot and heavy against your palm. 
You broke the kiss to tease him, “See, I knew you wouldn't be too tired for that.”
Spencer nonchalantly countered, “I’m pretty sure that would still work even if I was asleep.”
“Yeah?” You purred while moving your hand up and down his length. “Maybe I should test that theory too, sometime?” 
Instead of answering you, a loud groan fell from your boyfriend’s lips. 
Between kisses you mumbled against his lips, “Is that something you would like, my sweet boy?”
“Fuck…” He whined when your thumb brushed over his sensitive tip. “Yes!” 
His response let your heart skip a beat but you decided to bring it up another time. Right now you had more important things to focus on. You kissed him again, your tongue brushing against his lips until he granted you entrance. 
Your kiss grew more urgent with every second passing and you became desperate to feel more of him. Quickly you shifted your position until you were hovering over him, your hands on his shoulders and one of his thighs between your legs. 
Without breaking the kiss you began grinding your core against his leg, creating some much needed friction. Spencer's hands flew to your hips, burying his fingertips into your supple flesh and moving with you. 
The tension inside you only grew as you moved against his thigh, certain that your honeyed wetness was spread all over his skin by now. His muscles tensed underneath you and by the way he sighed into your mouth you knew how much he enjoyed being used like that. 
Your own sounds of pleasure finally broke the kiss and Spencer seized the moment to stare down at your bare form. 
“You're so beautiful,” he murmured. “You look like a goddess.”
With a gentle touch on his chin you tilted his head until he found your eyes again. His cheeks were tinted in a rosy shade and the black of his pupils had swallowed the gold of his irises almost entirely. His lips were parted, heavy breaths escaping his throat as he looked up at you. 
“I want you inside me,” you purred with a smirk painted over your face.
With a nod he signaled his approval and moved with you until you were hovering over his cock. You reached down to guide him to your waiting heat, letting his leaking tip glide through your glistening folds to cover him with your arousal. 
“Please,” Spencer whimpered, already impatient to finally feel you wrapped around him. 
Tonight you weren’t in a teasing mood so you gave into his plea and slowly sank down on him. The way he stretched you open inch by inch completely clouded your mind. When he was fully inside you, you closed your eyes and took a moment to feel him throbbing deep within your body. 
A sudden thrust let your eyes shoot open and a gasp escape your mouth. Spencer's hands gripped your hips so hard you were sure you’d find his fingertips imprinted in your skin in the morning. Despite your surprised reaction he kept moving, thrusting his hips upwards, desperate to feel more of you, to feel all of you.
With your hands on his shoulders you tried to still his eagerness with no success. 
“Spencer,” you snickered. “Slow down.”
It seemed like he had long forgotten your promise to do all the work and any sign of a headache had already vanished. His big puppy eyes found yours, almost looking innocent. 
“What?” He chuckled as he slowed down his movements. “You usually like that.”
“I do,” you cooed. “But today I’m in charge, so lean back and relax.”
Spencer did as he was told. You took your time with him, relishing the sensation of being one with him. Whenever you felt him inside you, you couldn't shake the thought that your body was made only for him. No man before him could ever bring you that much pleasure. 
With your hips carefully grinding against his, you set a new, almost torturously slow pace. Leaning down, you placed your lips on his, your kiss only interrupted by sighs and moans that needed to escape. Tilting your hips, you slightly changed the angle to make your motions even more enjoyable. The pressure inside you grew, aware that you wouldn't be able to last much longer.
Spencer's hands were still on your hips but they were less demanding, letting you be in control and moving with you however you desired to. Only when your pace quickened did he dare to let one of his hands move to where your bodies were connected. 
With skilled motions he pressed his thumb against your most sensitive spot, smirking against your lips when it became obvious how much you craved to find relief. When your entire body shook and your walls tightened around his hardness, it became almost impossible to keep moving. 
Spencer took over, thrusting up into you until you finally fell over the edge with a loud moan. When he felt you pulsing around him, he let go himself, entering a stage of pure bliss together with you. 
You moved with one another to prolong the euphoria, each throbbing of his cock answered with you convulsing around him until there was nothing left to give. Spencer welcomed you inside his arms, his fingertips gently dancing over your back as you tried to even out your breathing. 
With your bodies pressed together you could feel the erratic beating of his heart against his ribs, almost as if it was trying to get in contact with its similarly fast moving counterpart inside your chest. 
“I love you,” he mumbled into your hair. 
You placed a gentle kiss on his cheek and sat up. When you found his eyes, you breathed, “I love you more.”
“Don’t be silly,” he chuckled. “That's not possible. 
Your fingertips brushed over his forehead when you asked, “Are you feeling better?” 
“Yeah I do, actually.” 
“That's good to hear,” you said before you started to giggle. “We proved that theory! Maybe you should write a paper about the healing powers of my pu–, ” Spencer was quick to interrupt you with a kiss before any more crudity could leave your mouth. 
“I’d rather not,” he laughed. “I’m sure other people would want a taste of you, too. But you're mine.”
“Your own personal elixir,” you agreed. 
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Please like, reblog and leave a comment! I need your lovely words to stay motivated to write more stories.
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Taglist: @nomajdetective @reidsbookclub @gspenc @samuel-de-champagne-problems @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @malindacath @luredwithpretzels @reidselle @alexxavicry @frickin-bats @spencersprettyslut @sebs-oxygen @happymangospot @cynbx @hotchandspencearedilfs @kobaltdragon @castiels-majestic-wings @emiliaserpe @thenerdthatwrites @velvetthunder93 @saturnstringz @missabsey @spencerslove @guacam011y @hugyourlungs @reiderwriter @enamoradax @hales-17 @loaksulluyswife @ecneremili @xserenax-13 @grumpyy-bearr @super-nerd22 @pleasantwitchgarden @r-3dlips @evvy96 @torigorie @meyaareads
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angelwonie · 1 year
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X + Y = YOU AND I || jeon wonwoo
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PAIRING: academic rival!wonwoo x fem!reader
WORD COUNT: 8.6k
GENRE(S): smut, fluff, rivals to lovers, college au
SUMMARY: you wish jeon wonwoo would sometimes act like an insufferable prick instead of the perfect guy, because then you wouldn't have to feel your head spinning each time he looks at you.
WARNINGS: SMUT [unprotected sex, fingering, use of petnames (baby, good girl), praise, some degradation, sex in an empty classroom] wonwoo is so in love
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Class discussions where both Wonwoo and you are involved never end well. 
Partly, it’s because none of you possess the ability of backing down from a fight, but mostly it’s because of Wonwoo’s annoying tendencies of having read all the books in the world, which allows him to criticize every word that comes out of your mouth. 
Which again leaves you with no choice but to get angry and argue even more vividly — though Soonyoung claims that’s just your own stubbornness making matters worse. 
He doesn’t get it, though. The desire to beat Wonwoo at his own game each time he opens his mouth. It’s something you can’t entirely explain, but it keeps you grounded, and so you don’t question it too much. The adrenaline that comes along with it is enough for you. 
And that’s exactly what keeps you going today — Wonwoo’s annoying takes on social anthropology.
“I just don’t think cultural differences are the root of conflicts.”
He says this and shrugs, eyes subconsciously drifting to the side to look at you. As expected, you’re already raising your hand to comment on his statement and he has to fight the urge to smile. Despite coming in tired, eyes drooping, you’re eager to partake in a discussion with him. Always. It’s a little too reassuring to think about, so he stops, and instead focuses on what you’re saying. 
“That’s a baseless claim to make,” you scoff, and again, he feels his lip twitch, almost forming a smile. “Of course they are. No differences means nothing to fight about.”
“Yes, in theory,” he says, and his eyes crinkle with the smile he offers you. A smile you can’t seem to tell if is cocky or genuine. “But cultural differences aren't everything. If we don’t have culture, people will still form opinions. And those opinions will still become the roots of conflicts.”
With those words, he crosses his arms over his chest, his elbow bumping into you. 
You’re not sure who came up with the idea of the two of you sitting together in the classroom, but moments like these make you want to find that person and rip their hair out. Because in what universe should you have to argue with Jeon Wonwoo while his shoulder is literally touching yours? 
It’s stupid, unethical, and every other derogatory term you can come up with, but most of all, it’s making it hard to focus. Obviously, it’s not about him, it’s about the closeness itself. You think. Probably. 
You lean a bit to your left so you can actually think of a response, but end up sighing and asking a question instead. 
“So you’re saying conflicts are inevitable?”
He tongues his cheek – a sign that he’s in deep thought – and bumps his elbow into you again. An accident, probably, but it catches your attention nevertheless. 
“I’m saying disagreements become conflicts because we can’t handle our emotions. It’s not differences that are the problem, it’s our way of handling them.”
And there it is — that twinkle in his eyes that signalizes he knows he’s won. You know it, too, from the way he leans back into his chair and your words die down in your throat and the professor nods his head approvingly. Still, you wish he wouldn’t be so fucking happy about it.
“Asshole,” you mumble only loud enough for him to hear as you sink back into the chair. 
He chuckles and you feel your insides turn. God, he’s annoying. Super annoying. 
Especially when he leans a bit to your side of the desk, face a lot closer to yours than it needs to be when he whispers, “Good job.” 
You glare at his soft expression, your own face heating up in something resembling embarrassment. 
“No need to gloat about your success, dickhead.”
“I’m not gloating,” he frowns, the smile slowly fading from his face.
“Sure you aren’t. You’re just kindly reminding me that you’re better than me.”
“That’s not what– That’s not true.”
His voice falters, and he leans back in his chair and taps his pen against the desk. You scoff at him, but it’s nowhere as threatening as you’d like it to be — thrown off by the quiver in his tone. 
“It is true,” you whisper, more to yourself, and avert your gaze from him. 
The professor picks up where he left off, and you let your thoughts scatter and eyes drift closed. It’s been a long day, you think. Thankfully, the professor’s got you and Wonwoo placed in the back, and so he doesn’t notice it when you manage to fall asleep in your chair, head falling to the side. 
Wonwoo notices, though. Your cheek squished against your shoulder, hair in your face. It’s not the first time you’ve fallen asleep in class, and he should probably start scolding you for it, but seeing your under eye bags and hearing your tired voice makes something turn unpleasantly in his stomach. And so he lets you sleep. 
(It’s all because of his perceptiveness.
You know about this trait of his, and it’s awful. How he hands you a pen when you’ve forgotten your own without you having to ask for it. How he knows when to shut up during an argument, because your face tells him he’s won. How he never feels the need to embarrass you, or anyone, for that matter.
He’s a good person in and out, and you hate him for it.) 
It’s not before the class is nearing its end that Wonwoo decides to wake you. 
“Y/N,” you feel a hand on your shoulder, shaking you awake, and then a deep voice hits your ears. Wonwoo’s voice, you realize instantly, and then criticize your heart for jumping at the thought. “You might wanna wake up for this.”
“Huh?” 
Wonwoo’s smiling at you softly, and you sit up straight, confused. At least until you see your professor clutching his phone against his ear, muttering aggressively.
“His wife called,” Wonwoo explains in a hushed tone, leaning towards you so you hear him better. “I feel kinda bad for the guy. She doesn’t seem to like him very much.”
You rub your eyes and yawn, then realize Wonwoo is sitting right there, and clear your throat. 
“Maybe he’s an asshole.”
“Maybe,” he turns to look at you. “Girls like assholes, though, don’t they? 
Your breath hitches in your throat involuntarily. You’re not sure whether it’s from the question or from the way he’s looking at you – like he’s already got you all figured out – but it’s making you nervous. All of it, him. And now that you’re discussing a topic you’re not certain about, it shows. 
You chuckle nervously, “Where’d you get that from?”
“You, mostly.”
“Excuse me?”
He offers you a smile, one that you subconsciously accept by feeling your insides turn to mush. This has got to be the longest you’ve spoken to him without mutual friends around, and without arguing. Truthfully, you don’t hate it. You’d never have thought that this would be the topic of your first ever civil conversation, though. 
“Minghao? Seungkwan? Your type’s pretty obvious.”
“Do you spy on me or something?” you ask, a little baffled he knows the names of your previous boyfriends. You weren’t hiding it or anything, but Wonwoo’s never shown much interest in you outside of class. “Plus, that was months ago.” 
He fixes his glasses and tilts his head to the side.
“Yeah? And what type of guys do you like now?”
You open your mouth to answer, but the words die down in your throat. Not assholes, you could say. He’s sparked your curiosity, though — what type of guys do you like now? Because you know for a fact that you’re done with assholes, which is why you’ve been trying your hardest to classify Wonwoo as one up until now. 
“I–”
You’re saved from answering his question by your professor, who’s successfully hung up on his wife and is now announcing that class is over. 
A sigh of relief escapes past your lips — another thing that doesn’t go unnoticed by Wonwoo, but he doesn’t push. He simply gathers his stuff, his pen that you borrowed included, and slings his bag over his shoulder. You smile at him, softly, a little hesitantly, because it feels right to do so.
His glasses rest at the tip of his nose as he stands up and says, “See you around, Y/N.”
Then, he walks off and you no longer fight the smile that makes its way to your face. 
“Okay, so I think we all know why this meeting is being held.”
This is the first thing Soonyoung says as he sits down by the round table in the cafeteria, latte almost spilling out of his cup. You and Minjeong perch up in curiosity, and she puts her phone away in favor of commenting Soonyoung’s poor word choices. 
“Meeting? It’s our lunch break, dude.”
“Yeah, whatever,” he rolls his eyes at Minjeong who snickers. “This lunch break is being held because–”
“–Because we need to eat?” you raise a brow. 
“Y/N, you are literally in no position to act all smart right now. It’s you that we need to talk about.”
“Me?”
You look to Minjeong, but she only shrugs, meaning that this is a Soonyoung thing. You try racking your brain to find what the hell he might want to discuss, but nothing comes to you. Not even when Soonyoung offers you one of his signature smirks that signalize he’s up to no good. 
“You, and hot nerd Jeon Wonwoo.”
Your mouth falls open in genuine shock. “Wonwoo?”
“Did you just call him ‘hot nerd’?” Minjeong slaps her hand over her mouth as she laughs, but stops when she sees you glaring at her. “Damn, okay, someone’s defensive.”
“Yes, Wonwoo,” Soonyoung leans over the table, hands together on the table like some sort of Hollywood detective. “What’s the deal with you and him?”
“What deal?” you look to the side for some help, but all Minjeong offers you is a smirk. She’s enjoying this a little too much for your liking. “Why are you looking at me like that? There’s no deal. We don’t get along, that’s all.”
“You sure looked like you got along yesterday,” Soonyoung giggles like a little schoolgirl, and you feel your face heating up. Of course he noticed, even though you barely talked with Wonwoo for three minutes. “Also, have you seen how he looks at you?”
“Like he wants to kill me?”
“Like he wants to kiss you. You’re mistaking passion for hate, babe. Or maybe you’re just pretending, because there’s no way you’re not seeing how cute you are together.”
“Me and Wonwoo?” you ask again, incredulously. “You’ve got to be kidding. There’s no way.”
“You have to admit, he’s pretty hot,” Minjeong cuts in. “Plus, you guys have, like, undeniable chemistry.”
“The only chemistry me and him share is the class. Which already sucks enough.”
“You know what they say, denial is a river in egypt.” 
“Nobody says that, Minjeong,” you glare at her, deciding that it’s better to get out of here before you start doubting yourself. “Anyway, I gotta go to class, so get those Wonwoo delusions out of your heads, okay? Because that’s what this is — delusion.”
“Funny you had to clarify that.”
“Just because you’re insufferable,” you send them a painfully fake smile and grab your things so you can walk away, almost missing the words Soonyoung mutters under his breath. 
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
Usually, you can’t be found in the university’s backyard ripping your hair, but usually, you also don’t fail your chemistry exams. 
You might be acting a tad bit dramatic, running out of class and sitting down on the grass with your back pressed against the stone cold wall to cool off, but that’s something to worry about later. Right now you’re just focused on feeling sorry for yourself. Which you are. To a very high degree. 
“Are you okay?”
You jump at the sudden intrusion to your self-wallowing, turning around only to be met with a familiar face. His glasses are high up on his nose and his hair is neat, smile lines nowhere to be seen.
“Wonwoo?” you ask, a bit embarrassed that he’s seeing you in this state, especially when he looks so put together. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“I read here every free period,” he says, frowning. “It’s you that should be in class right now.”
“Do you have my schedule memorized or something?” you look at him accusingly, pulling your legs closer to your chest for comfort. “Anyway, I’m just sitting here.”
Wonwoo’s silent for a moment, pondering on what to do, and then he takes a step in your direction. You don’t run away or protest, so he takes another one and another one until he’s close enough to sink down on the grass next to you. 
“You look more like you’re drowning in sadness.”
“Yeah, well, I failed an exam, so,” you say and hand him the paper your hands gripped just a moment ago — your test with every mistake highlighted in red. The whole sheet might’ve just been red at this point, you think. 
He examines it, brows furrowed, then hands it back. “Chemistry? I thought you were good at that, though.”
Your heart falters in embarrassment.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought, too. That’s why I’m fucking sad.”
You don’t mean for it to sound so angry, but it comes out harsh and bitter. It’s nothing like Wonwoo’s used to hearing you speak. And what comes after shocks him even more — the tears that well up in your eyes and then fall, he can see them even as you turn away from him, perhaps in fear of judgement. 
“Wait,” he says, a little dumbfounded. “Are you crying?”
It’s a stupid question, but his tone isn’t judging. Still, it doesn't ease anything — you feel like you’re about to explode. And what’s worse is that he’s here, Jeon Wonwoo, of all people, watching you cry over something so miniscule that he probably can’t even relate to. You’re not sure why it bothers you so much that he’s seeing you in this state, but it does, it really does bother you, so much you feel like you might die. 
“Yes, I’m crying, Wonwoo,” you say, wiping your cheeks to your best ability. “Jesus christ. I did badly on a test, so I already feel like shit, and then you always have to come up to me with those stupid comments of yours.”
He blinks in surprise from behind his glasses, and even through your bitterness, you think to yourself that he looks cute like that — confused, for the very first time. At least it’s the very first time you are seeing him like this. But, to be fair, this is his very first time seeing you like this, too. 
“I thought you liked it when I'm mean to you, though,” he says finally, and you look at him in disbelief.
“Wonwoo, are you seriously just here to imply I have a degradation kink?” 
He remains silent for a minute, hesitating.
“Great.” 
You laugh through the tears that have now stopped falling, and Wonwoo exhales in something that resembles relief. His gaze is still set on you, unrelenting, like he’s still trying to put together the puzzle. Does he want to leave? 
A part of you hopes he won’t. Because despite that it’s a bit embarrassing, you could use someone to talk to right now. Even if it’s just so you can get your frustration out somehow. 
“What I’m trying to say is,” he starts, choosing his words carefully. “I didn't mean it like that. I never do.”
You meet his gaze – soft eyes that remain otherwise unreadable – and let out a breathy chuckle. 
“Yeah, whatever.”
You kick one of the stones in front of you, and watch it bounce a couple of times before it settles a little further away. Wonwoo doesn’t leave, even though you’re giving no signs of continuing the conversation. He just sits there, shoulder a centimeter or two from yours, and listens to both your breaths. Both uneven — his is nervous, while yours is upset. 
“I’m serious, Y/N,” he says finally, catching you off guard just enough for you to turn in his direction again. “If I ever cross the line, tell me. I don’t want to hurt you.”
He bites his lip awkwardly as you feel your heart dropping to your stomach. It’s silent for a while, the back of your throat burning — threatening that you might start crying again if you say something now. 
He pushes his glasses further up his nose, and that’s when you decide to take the leap. Leap meaning that you lean forward to engulf him in a hug, your head coming to rest on his shoulder. 
It catches him off guard, you can tell. His muscles tense, breath caught up in his throat and your own heart beats so fast you think you might die. But it feels nice, hugging him. And it feels even nicer when he wraps his arms around you, too, albeit hesitantly. 
You stay like that, bathing in his scent – peach and jasmine with a hint of something you can’t quite identify – and somehow, you feel at peace. The test is still at the back of your head, obviously, bugging you, but it’s faint compared to Wonwoo and his hand that begins to slowly stroke your hair. 
“Thank you.”
The words are whispered into the crook of his neck, sending shivers down his spine. 
They’re so quiet he barely hears them, might’ve mistaken them for a hiccup hadn’t he paid complete attention, but he is. He is paying attention. To how your muscles loosen up in his arms and there are no longer tears soaking through his shirt; how his own heart beats a little faster than usual; how he’s so painfully aware of the fact that talking to you only makes him like you more.
More meaning that he’s afraid he might be advancing from the useless crush he’d developed watching you argue with him during class. Advancing into uncharted territory that he’s never even intended exploring. Though he supposes he sabotaged himself by approaching you today. 
“It’s nothing.”
But it’s a lie. It is something — the butterflies in your stomach or the warmth spreading across Wonwoo’s chest. Whatever you want to regard it as, it is something. 
And that something settles in the very depths of your mind and his mind alike. 
When Soonyoung announces that he’s bringing Wonwoo to come study with you and Minjeong in the library, your first instinct is to tell him you’re not coming. 
Obviously, you’re embarrassed. And scared. And a million other things you can’t even begin to describe with words. He saw you crying, after all. Jeon Wonwoo, top of the class, saw you crying over a bad grade. It really doesn’t get much worse than that. 
Still, you go. Mostly because you know staying at the dorm would spark questions from your nosy friends, but also because you don’t want Wonwoo thinking you’re avoiding him. Or else he’s going to think you care — which, essentially, you do. But he doesn’t have to know that. 
“Do you think Wonwoo will laugh at me if I get the questions wrong?” Minjeong asks as you stand outside the door to the library, her hand on the handle.
“No,” you say. “He’s not like that.”
She opens the door, and you walk inside, met with the smell of books. Soonyoung and Wonwoo are sitting by the chess boards, talking, and you feel something turn in your stomach. Is it too late to leave now? Judging by Minjeong’s worried face, she isn’t so keen on being here either. Maybe you could both just go home.
Yet when she bites her lip and asks, “Are you sure?”, you can’t bring yourself to lie just so you won’t have to face him.
“Yeah. You should ask him to teach you if you don’t understand something, you know. Better to feel a little embarrassed than to fail an exam.”
“I guess you’re right.”
Just as she says this, Soonyoung catches your gaze and waves eagerly, urging you and Minjeong to come closer. He whispers something to Wonwoo, and he, too, turns to smile in your direction.
“Guess there’s no backing out now,” Minjeong giggles and you nod your head. There really isn’t. 
The two of you make your way to the table where the boys are sitting and pick your chairs. Minjeong’s quick to sit next to Soonyoung, so you’re left with no other option but to plop down on the chair closest to Wonwoo. Normally, that would’ve only mildly annoyed you, but now, three days after he saw you bawling your eyes out, you can feel your heartbeat speed up vastly.
“Hey,” Wonwoo says and you almost jump. You’re not sure why, but you hadn’t expected him to speak to you first. 
“Hi,” you reply and try smiling at him. Thankfully, he smiles, too. “What are you guys studying?”
“Chemistry,” he says, and upon seeing you wince, he’s quick to add, “‘Cause Soonyoung’s struggling with it. He asked me to teach him.”
You have to bite back a smile at his worried tone. “Ah, I see.”
He fixes his glasses, and clears his throat.
“It’s a really tricky subject, though, so I understand why you– uh, he, finds it troublesome.”
“Right,” you nod your head with a giggle, and you can almost feel Soonyoung’s stare burning into your side. It’s fine, though, because now, Wonwoo looks the slightest bit more relaxed. 
You pull out your notebooks and textbook along with a coffee you’d made earlier, and when Wonwoo says your notes look pretty, you can’t help but grin. You kind of wish he weren’t so nice to you, but it doesn’t make you feel awkward, so you suppose you don’t have much room to complain. 
It’s probably just reality catching up to you that’s making you nervous — the fact that he’s not so argumentative outside of class, and that you definitely felt something pull at the very bottom of your heart that day you failed the exam. That, and how the feeling isn’t giving any signs of leaving soon.
You let those thoughts wander as you start making notes, and soon enough, even Soonyoung goes quiet, occupied by his own stuff. It stays like that for a while, and at some point, Wonwoo’s knee bumps into yours. Warmth spreads all across you and you look at him. 
“Sorry,” he whispers apologetically, retracting his leg, and the warmth subsides. In return you send him a smile in which you hope he can’t glimpse your slight – and unsettling – disappointment. 
“It’s okay.”
And then it’s silent again, your body painfully aware of the fact that if you lean your leg a bit to the right you’ll touch Wonwoo. It’s not like you want to touch him, at least you don’t think you do, but the awareness is slightly nerve-wracking for some unknown reason. Everything about him is.  
“Wonwoo,” Minjeong says, breaking the silence, making both his and your heads shoot up to look at her. “Y/N told me you could help me if I asked, so… I was wondering if you could explain biomolecules to me.”
“Of course.”
A quick smile flashes in your direction and then he’s leaning over the table to help Minjeong. His fingers follow the illustrations in her textbook and he starts talking — something about structure, you think. You listen intently, and it makes sense even though you’ve barely started the chapter, but you can’t bring yourself to take notes of what he’s saying. Can’t bring yourself to take your eyes off of him.
You wonder silently if he always was this handsome. You try to think of the times you spoke to him in class before, but it’s hard to recall his face in any other form than what your eyes meet now — focused gaze, lips moving to the rhythm of his voice. His glasses are slowly sliding down his nose, and you feel an immeasurable urge to push them up, but he beats you to it. 
“Basically, they’re essential for cell division to happen,” he says, and you lean forward to look at the picture he’s pointing to.
Your shoulder bumps into his and he turns to the side. You notice, but don’t react in fear that you’ll just end up giggling like a schoolgirl. Instead, you pretend to read some of the text in the book. 
Wonwoo picks up where he left off, voice a little hoarser than before, but you don’t move. Neither does he.
“Can you say that again?” you ask after he says something you don’t understand. 
He repeats with his head turned in your direction, and your eyes drift down to his lips. You don’t want them to, it just happens, your stomach tying into a tight knot. You’re almost entirely sure nobody is supposed to look this hot while talking about biomolecules. Or was it morphogenesis? You honestly don’t know. 
You don’t know why you feel like this with him of all people. Truly, there could be a lot of factors playing into it. The fact that he’s a smooth talker; the fact that he’s both intelligent and knowledgeable; the fact that you’ve grown to know him — what makes his blood boil and what makes him chuckle; the fact that he’s a constant in a sea of variables. 
Maybe that last point especially. That even when everything else goes to hell, the moment you step into social anthropology class, he’s always there. Always willing to entertain you with, albeit sometimes pointless, banter. 
You don’t even know what this is, though. Feeling your head spin when you look at him, having mini heart attacks when he says your name — are these the signs of you going insane? It could very well be that, you think. Insanity feels like the right word to explain your state right now. 
“Y/N,” he says, breaking you out of your thoughts. “You listening?”
Your eyes drift back to his own, and you swear you see a glimpse of amusement playing in his gaze when you mumble a quiet “Yeah.”
Suddenly very aware of Soonyoung and Minjeong’s presence, as well as Wonwoo’s burning stare, you stand up, dusting off your clothes.
“I just need some fresh air,” you offer as an explanation. 
“Mind if I join?”
You look at Wonwoo in disbelief as he asks the question. What the fuck? You don’t mind – at least in the sense that implies you don’t like his company – but it’s the same issue again; he makes you nervous. Goodbye to going for a relaxing walk, you suppose. And goodbye to whatever left there is of your sanity. 
After what seems like hours of overthinking, you decide to get your shit together and send him a smile paired with a nod. Minjeong raises a brow in your direction, but doesn’t inquire further and internally you thank her for that. You’re not sure what you would’ve told her if she asked. 
You and Wonwoo leave the library together, shoulders close together just like when you were sitting, and you swallow the lump in your throat. 
“Everything okay?” he asks as you leave the building. “You seem a little dazed.”
The air is still cold, though winter is nearing its end and spring is slipping through the cracks. You pull your jacket closer to your body in hopes of both warming yourself up and slowing down your heartbeat, but it only fulfills one of those wishes, leaving you to deal with the latter yourself. 
“I’m alright,” you respond with a soft smile. “Thank you for helping Minjeong, by the way. You’re a great teacher.”
Wonwoo’s smile lines shyly make an appearance. “Thanks. I’ve been thinking about becoming a real one, actually.”
You stop walking and turn your head in disbelief. Somehow, you didn’t expect that answer. Wonwoo was always a diligent student, but now that you come to think of it, he never really talked about his plans for the future, or what he wanted to do with his degree in chemical engineering. 
“Seriously?” 
“Yeah,” his cheeks redden ever so slightly. “Teaching chemistry honestly doesn’t sound that bad.”
You take a moment to think it through — him, in a suit and those glasses that fall down his nose, teaching kids about biomolecules. The idea is foreign, and yet, it fits just right. 
You nudge him with your shoulder. “Professor Jeon, huh? It would suit you.”
He lets out a snort of laughter that sounds nothing like the small chuckles you’d hear from him during class. But it sounds nice, this loud laughter and you bathe in it for as long as it lasts. You’re starting to enjoy this whole ‘being kind to each other’ thing. Suits you better than yelling about something stupid in class. It suits him better, too. 
Content with everything, you begin walking again and he follows suit. The grass is a little wet from yesterday’s rain and outgrown as it is, it tickles your ankles. It might’ve been mildly annoying if you weren’t so stupidly happy for whatever reason.  
Whatever reason being Wonwoo, of course. You might be bad at chemistry, but you like to think you’re not dumb — at least not in an oblivious way. It’s become quite obvious, you think, that you like him. 
The thought partly makes you want to kick your feet in the air and partly, it makes you want to rip your hair out. You like Wonwoo. It’s something so unexpected it makes you feel very bare as you stand there on the grass outside of your university, with your cold hands buried in the pockets of your jacket and Wonwoo’s eyes glimmering in the faint sunlight. 
You like him. God, it feels weird to admit. 
“About that day…” Wonwoo’s voice brings you back to reality, and you take a second to register what he’s saying.
“I freaked you out, didn’t I?” you ask. 
“No, no, it’s not that,” he looks away and sighs softly, only to look directly at you the next second. “I just wanted to make sure you remember that one mistake doesn’t make you a failure. I should’ve said it earlier, but that day I was a bit… taken aback, I suppose. Not by the crying, obviously, but by the whole situation. And you.” 
“Me,” you repeat, tasting the word on your tongue. Your heart starts beating a little faster, despite your best efforts at staying calm. He’s just talking after all; it’s not like this is some sort of love confession.
“Not in a bad way. Just in a new way,” he’s quick to assure you and you feel your heart swell in your chest. 
“New. You make it sound so pretty.”
You laugh a bit, looking down on your hands. It. Does he even know what you mean? Does he know you’re talking about the fact that you’re slowly but surely starting to fall in love with him? Or is he just talking about seeing you vulnerable the other day? 
“What would you call it?” he asks and you can’t stop your gaze from drifting back to him.
“I don’t know, confusing? And kind of insane.”
You swear his eyes drop to your lips for a mere second at that. He doesn’t say anything, just walks by you in silence, and it drives you crazy. You wish he’d say something – anything – just so you’d know if you’re even on the same page, but you don’t rush him. 
Finally, he smiles at you. 
“If insanity is losing control, then yes, I suppose I’m going insane. But it doesn’t feel all that insane to me.”
His eyes crinkle, soft streaks of sun painted across his face and you almost sigh. In delight, relief, or maybe fear, you’re not sure, but it’s those words, you think, that will linger. Those are the types of words to never abandon your mind, you’re sure of it. 
“Did you rehearse this in front of the mirror or something?” you scoff at him, heart heavy in your chest. 
He only laughs, and the sound stays in the air for a long time after you’ve left. 
To say you were shocked to see Jeon Wonwoo sitting outside of his dorm with his head in his hands would be a major understatement. 
You had grown closer to him in the past weeks — walking shoulder to shoulder around campus; him helping you with your homework — it all would’ve seemed unlikely had someone proposed the idea to you a month prior, but now, you had grown to truly enjoy his company. And he enjoyed yours, too. 
In some ways, it stayed normal. 
Comments and half-mean, half-endearing remarks remained untouched; what didn’t was your heart. It seems to be working against you at all times, beating too quickly when Wonwoo unexpectedly smiled in your direction, and dropping down to your stomach in fear whenever you saw him tippling over in emotion, only for the feeling to fade to the sound of his laugh.
This time, though, it doesn’t fade, only intensifies as you hear him curse under his breath. 
“Wonwoo?” you try, and his shoulders tense ever so slightly. 
You watch as he sighs, rubbing his eyes, then sits up straight, back against the wall. He doesn’t respond, even as his eyes, frail as ever, look into yours. They’re a bit darker than usual, and his lashes flutter as he blinks up at you. 
There’s no one in the hallway, as if this part of the school emptied just to grant you a moment of privacy; a deciding moment, something in your stomach tells you. 
“What’s happened?” you ask softly, quietly, unsure of what else to do with this obviously unhappy Jeon Wonwoo that’s sitting on the ground in front of you. 
“It’s nothing,” he mumbles in response, leaning on his arms to stand up. “Just some school stuff.”
The corners of his mouth lift in a small smile, but you call his bullshit. You don’t necessarily doubt the genuinity of his smile, but the way he said it makes you think there is something that happened. 
Taking a step in his direction, you nudge him with your elbow. 
“What, the golden boy failed a test for the first time in his life?”
His eyes change at that — soft crinkles appearing at the very edges of them. His shoulders relax, too, and though it’s barely visible, you see it clearly. The air feels a lot lighter when he tongues his cheek and nudges you back. 
“You sure run your mouth a lot, Y/N,” he grins and you feel butterflies flapping around in the very pits of your stomach. Then the smile fades to be replaced with a faux scolding look as he says, “I suggest you stop.” 
You move to stand right in front of him, arms crossed over your chest. He’s taller, and you have to tilt your chin to look him right in the eyes as you giggle with a hint of playfulness in your gaze. 
“Or what?”
He sees the smile playing on your face, the giddiness in your tone, and his heart bangs loudly against his chest. You look gorgeous today — well, that’s nothing new but it never ceases to amaze him how you can look prettier for each day that goes by.
Is this it? Is this when he’s supposed to make a move, like Soonyoung told him to? What does even ‘make a move’ mean, exactly? 
He supposes it varies — just like the value of variables in the equations he solves so often. 
Then how come he can’t solve this one?
You’re still standing there, looking at him without a care in the world, and he thinks that he’d never forgive himself if he screwed this up. At the same time, it doesn’t seem like you’re ready to run away from him, and so perhaps making a move doesn’t sound so stupid right now. 
“Or,” he starts, and lets his eyes glide down to your lips for a moment to test the waters. You don’t scream in fear, and he takes it as a good sign. “I’m gonna have to make you.”
You giggle. “Yeah? And how exactly are you gonna do that, big boy?” 
He feels his stomach turning upside down, squeezed by some invisible force and he has to remind himself to breathe. Is he really going through with this? Don’t start something you can’t end, Soonyoung would probably tell him. For once listening to his advice seems reasonable. 
“Like this.”
And before he can even think of backing out, he brings the palms of his hands to cup your face and leans down, placing his lips against yours. 
Taken aback, you let out a startled noise, eyes growing wide. He hesitates upon seeing your reaction, about to pull away when you finally kiss him back, tongue swiping over his lower lip ever so slightly. 
A groan. Then, he’s bringing his hand to the back of your head and pulling you towards him, kissing you until your head starts to spin, and kissing you through that, too. 
Your arms hold onto his shoulders for support, cheek leaning into his touch. Your noses touch clumsily; teeth clash when you open your mouth to let him explore it. Still, it feels like heaven and you can’t bring yourself to pull away for a breath. 
Wonwoo, though, the more sensible one of you two, pulls back after a while, a smile on his lips and breath ragged.  
You look at him — waiting for him to pick up where he left off, but he doesn’t move.
“That’s it?” you ask, and for a brief moment, all color drains from Wonwoo’s face. Did you not like it? Did he do something wrong?
“What do you mean?”
“You’re just going to leave me hanging like that?”
Your lip pulled between your teeth, you look at home expectantly, heart still hammering against your ribs. Truly, it’s not just about wanting more – though that plays a part in it, too – it’s also about whether this was a one-time-thing.
“Was it not enough for you?” he asks, tilting his head to the side after he’s calmed his racing heart. 
“Considering I’ve been waiting for this, like, a month,” you say. “not really, no.”
He smiles down on you — that same smile that makes you weak in the knees, and you know there’s no turning back now. Not that there ever was. 
“I think you’re a bit greedy,” he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and you shiver in anticipation. “I’ve been waiting for half a year, and yet, I still have some self control left.”
“I never had any in the first place.”
And with that, you pull him close for another kiss. 
He doesn’t protest, opening his mouth and sucking on your tongue. His hands move down to your waist this time, pulling your body flush against his. You’ve never experienced being in such close proximity with him, and yet, you don’t feel all that nervous. It all slips away with his soft touches. 
Your hands in his hair — it feels foreign, but he likes that feeling, gets drunk on it. But it’s some kind of reversed intoxication; he doesn’t feel faint; if anything, he’s feeling more sober than ever before as he bathes in your taste, your scent, you. This must be what love feels like, he thinks. This must be it, or else he’s certain he’ll never know love. If this isn’t it, he doesn’t want to know love. 
He hopes you’re at least feeling a fraction of what he’s feeling as he pushes you gently against the wall, hands roaming your body. You do the same, holding onto him like he’s your lifeline, tugging at the strands of hair available to you. 
So caught up in this feeling of bliss, you don’t even notice how you’re not alone with Wonwoo anymore until you hear laughter from a group of bypassing students. 
“Get a room,” someone says and you pull away from Wonwoo immediately, face hot with embarrassment.
He doesn’t appear shaken, though — rather, you glimpse the shadow of a smile playing on his lips as he urges the students to leave. Just as you’re about to ask what he’s smiling about, his fingers close around your wrist and he pulls you along the hallway. He’s all rushed steps until you reach the nearest classroom that turns out to be empty, and he walks inside, dragging you with him. 
Upon closing the door behind him, Wonwoo drags you into his chest. You look up at him, his inquiring gaze that asks for permission, and smile.
“Are you sure?” he asks and your grin turns teasing. 
“Sure about what, Woo?” 
He tongues his cheek, unsure of what to say. You’re just plain teasing him – that much is obvious – so he supposes he can give the same energy back. 
“Sure that you want me to fuck you.”
You’re taken aback, though perhaps you shouldn’t be, considering how you set yourself up for this with your question. Still, your breath catches in your throat and your hand holds onto one of the nearby desks for stability as you face him. Wonwoo looks different now, to some extent; maybe it’s the lighting that gives his eyes a different glow, or maybe it’s how the air has suddenly become swollen with tension. 
Whatever the cause, it excites you to no end, the way he’s looking at you when you take his hand in yours. Like you’re the only thing that matters. 
“Yeah,” you say finally. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
At that, he pulls you impossibly closer. He takes off his glasses in a manner that you in a drunken state would’ve most likely called seductive, and throws them away somewhere you can’t see, too busy kissing him back when his lips crash into yours for the nth time today. He kisses you so hard it knocks the breath out of your lungs, and all thoughts out of your brain. 
Mouth open, you let his tongue explore it and simultaneously, you allow him to walk you further into the classroom, until the back of your thighs hit one of the desks. Standing between your legs, he pushes your shirt up so his fingers can graze the bare skin underneath, and you sigh in content. 
Before you know it, he’s pulling away to peel off your shirt and bra, leaving you bare in front of him.
“You’re beautiful, you know,” he murmurs, pressing his lips to yours again.
You smile into the kiss, goosebumps spreading over your skin with the touches of his fingers that glide further up your thigh, until they slip under your skirt. Knuckles running over your soaked panties, he bites your lip and you let out a delighted moan. 
“You’re so wet,” he comments as he slips a finger under your panties, running it through your folds. You can already feel another flood of arousal approaching just because of his words. “Won’t even need to prep you, huh?”
You desperately shake your head no, and he chuckles.
He lays his palm flat against your clit and you squirm until he retracts it. Playfulness in his gaze, he smears your arousal all over your cunt, ignoring your whines. This takes him at least half a minute before he finally – upon hearing you whimper his name in a way that makes his pants a whole lot tighter all of a sudden – gives in and slides one of his fingers into your pussy. 
You throw your head back with a whimper, holding onto his shoulder as he starts pumping it in and out of you, noises caused by the movement filling the air. 
“Oh my god,” you breathe as he adds another one, your cunt tightening around his digits endlessly. 
He smiles, pressing a kiss to your shoulder which is an immense contrast to how he curls his fingers inside of you, hitting that one spot that makes your toes curl. He plunges his digits in and out of your hole as his thumb circles your clit, until you’re moaning loudly — despite how little time has really passed. 
It’s in utter shock that you watch him retract his hand completely, sucking the arousal from his fingers with a smile. 
“Wha–” is all you manage to say before he flips you over, bending you over the desk. 
You’re painfully aware of how bare you are in front of him — your naked cunt on display, because your skirt doesn’t do much to cover anything at all, and your tits pressed against the wood of the desk. Plus the fact that the locked door won’t do much good if someone is to have class in this room next period. Which would be in about thirty minutes. 
Not that you care. Or, essentially, you do care, but now it doesn’t really matter — besides, you’re certain that Wonwoo would’ve managed to come up with some sort of excuse had you been forced to open the door for some frustrated professor. 
Amidst your thoughts, you almost fail to hear the sound of Wonwoo unclasping his belt. Almost. But when you do hear it, something turns pleasantly in your stomach. 
“You gonna be good for me and stay quiet?” Wonwoo asks and you feel his hands move to hold your hips, cock positioned at your entrance. 
You mumble something in affirmation, something you’re not even sure you can hear yourself, and spread your legs to urge him on. You feel his cock prod at your soaked cunt, run through your folds languidly; again and again, until you’re whining his name in protest. 
He only chuckles at your behavior, and asks, albeit teasingly, “What did you say?”
Gathering your thoughts, you try your best to ignore the way he’s dragging his dick over your pussy, occasionally rubbing over your clit. 
“Yes, I’ll be good for you, Wonwoo.”
Pleased with this response, he finally enters you — cock stretching you open and making you cry out, holding onto the desk for support. He’s big, you realize, tears prodding at your eyes as he bottoms out. 
“Yeah? Gonna be my good girl?” 
You nod and nod, fingers turning white from how you’re gripping the wooden desk once he starts moving — in languid strokes, he manages to turn your moans louder and louder. 
His hands hold onto your hips, pushing them against him so you’re further impaled on his cock with each thrust, and you swear you feel him all the way in your stomach. It’s a good feeling, one you can barely register fully with the way your mind’s gone hazy. 
You hardly notice it when one of his hands lets go of your hips and comes up to your lips, fingers tapping at your chin as a signal to open your mouth. When you do, he slips two digits inside and you suck on them obediently, tightening around his cock. 
Wonwoo smiles.
“Thought I told you to be quiet, baby.”
In all honesty, he loves the nosies you’re making, but he can’t risk someone starting to bang on the door before he’s got you falling apart completely. Besides, the sight of you sucking on his fingers is just as pleasing; just as effective in making his cock twitch in your cunt. 
Your walls suck him in perfectly, the sound of him gliding in and out of your pussy loud in the empty classroom. His thrusts grow gradually harder; the desk starts moving in rhythm with them, and you can’t help letting out moans and whimpers that his digits in your mouth do a poor job of concealing. 
He realizes this, and decides on removing his fingers so they can grab at your hair instead, pulling your back closer to his chest. Your tits bounce with his movements, and he plays with them briefly, groaning as your pussy clamps down on him especially hard at that, but then his hand moves between your legs to tend to your clit. 
He rubs it in circles, granting you an occasional pinch or slap that makes you cry out, and you feel the knot in your stomach grow tighter and tighter. 
“Feels so good, Wonwoo,” you sob, tears streaming down your cheeks as his fingers abuse your swollen clit. 
“I know, baby.”
Barely coherent, you beg him not to stop, and he wonders whatever even prompted you to think that he might want to stop. He only fucks into you harder, hand on your hips to steady the thrusts that bring you closer and closer to coming. 
“Wonwoo,” you say. “So close.”
“Yeah? Gonna come for me, baby? Gonna come all over my cock like a slut?”
You nod, though he probably doesn't see, and he pulls you even closer, eyes rolling to the back of his head at the sight in front of him. And to think he could’ve had this earlier had he taken the chance. You in the shortest skirt he’s ever seen, moaning his name like you don’t care if anyone hears — he honestly thinks he might be in heaven. 
“Good girl,” he groans, and that’s what sends you over the edge, your pussy clamping down on his cock as you reach your orgasm. “Good fucking girl.”
He comes less than five seconds later, buried deep inside of you as his cum coats your walls. You whimper at the overstimulation of his last thrusts, collapsing on top of the desk when he pulls out. 
He’s careful not to hurt you, but you still wince slightly, which prompts him to ask you if you’re okay.
“Never better,” you reply, and as soon as you say it, you realize it’s true. 
Wonwoo smiles. He helps you clean up – repeatedly apologizing that he’s wiping you clean with the paper by the classroom sink, even though you tell him it’s fine – and puts his glasses on again. It kind of makes you wish he’d never taken them off, but there’s no way you’re telling him that. Your opinion about his beauty is something you’ll keep to yourself for now. 
You get ready to leave just as someone knocks on the door, and Wonwoo opens it for a very flustered professor that tells you he’s sorry for interrupting. Wonwoo tries telling him it’s not like that – though it definitely is like that, and the blush coating his cheeks does nothing to hide it – and finally, you’re in the hallway, free. 
“Poor guy,” you comment, a smile playing on your lips.
Wonwoo sighs. “Tell me about it. And here I was, thinking we’d gotten lucky.”
“I think we did get lucky, though.”
You say this without thinking it through, but from the way Wonwoo’s eyes light up, you’re glad you didn’t. 
Suddenly, the doors to all classrooms in the hallway open and out come tired students, marking the start of the next period. Which you’re supposed to spend in biology.
You sigh, and Wonwoo seems to get it, because he tells you to leave for class. 
“By the way, Y/N,” Wonwoo says just as you’re about to leave. Something in his gaze tells you this isn’t just a ‘by the way’ thing. “In case it wasn’t obvious, I’m really in love with you. And I’d like you to be my girlfriend.”
“Well, you’re in luck, mister,” you kiss his jaw with a grin. “Because it so happens that I’m in love with you, too. And I’d love to be your girlfriend.”
TAGLIST: @just-here-to-read-01 @syn-hhj @nikkell @dollyji
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thejakeslayla · 3 months
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╰─▸❝ enhypen reaction to orange peel theory❞
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pairing: enhypen x gn!reader ୨୧ genre: fluff ୨୧ warnings: none ୨୧ just a little bit of beta
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. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ yang jungwon 양정원  ✩
it begins with you and the rest of enhypen gathered together, either watching tv or simply hanging out. the activity itself isn't crucial; your attention is solely focused on jungwon, who slowly selects a tangerine every five minutes, peeling and eating it by himself.
after finishing one tangerine, he catches your gaze and offers you a warm smile, sharing a piece with you. without having to ask for more, he's already choosing a new one, carefully inspecting it to ensure the best quality for you. the rest of the group remains occupied, unaware of jungwon's hand practically being stuck in the bowl of tangerines on the table.
upon grabbing one, he notices you engaged in conversation with jake. without disrupting your conversation, he peels the tangerine and passes half of it to you. without much thought, you accept it, savoring the sweetness of the fruit. when you finish, jungwon hands you another half, enjoying his own portion.
“you want more? i’m already full,” you hear his soft whisper right next to your ear, as he still doesn’t want to interrupt your conversation. 
"can you pass me one more?" you inquire, anticipating him to hand you a tangerine still in its peel. several seconds pass, and he hasn't given it to you, but you noticed him reaching for it from the corner of your eye few seconds ago.
glancing in his direction, you observe him struggling with the peel. he looks up, a small smile and a gentle blush on his face. "one second, y/n," he says, placing another piece of peel on the table.
"i could've peeled it for myself, won," you remark, and he shakes his head.
"your fingers would get sticky; mine already are from peeling the previous ones. just relax and wait; i'll do it for you."

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ lee heeseung 이희승 ✩
sitting in the living room, you were mindlessly scrolling through tiktok, your boyfriend doing something in kitchen. the trend of peeling oranges for loved ones was slightly forgotten already, but you still saw some videos of couples trying it. 
after a moment of contemplation, you called out to heeseung, "hee, do we have any oranges?" the shared flat briefly fell into silence, only to be broken by his simple response, "yeah." it was the simplest word, yet enough to bring a smile to your face, sensing that your idea might come to realization. 
calling out again, you asked, "would you mind peeling one for me?" this time, there was no immediate response. a few minutes later, heeseung entered the living room with an orange in one hand and a small plastic bag in the other. he sat beside you, his shoulder brushing against yours, and without uttering a word, he began peeling the orange.
"do you even like oranges?" he inquired after a while, his tone carrying a hint of uncertainty. you chuckled softly, the puzzled yet adorable expression on his face melting your heart. he was onto something; you weren't particularly fond of oranges. 
"i'm just craving one, you know?" you replied, and he raised an eyebrow, familiar with your habits. however, without adding to the conversation, he handed you the orange, laughing at your reaction when it turned out to be too sour. in the end, you ended up giving him most of it, prompting his laughter to echo even louder.

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ park jongseong 박종성  ✩
you and jay just finished your dinner and are now both tidying up the table. as he places the final plate in the dishwasher, you lean against the kitchen counter, observing him. he glances over at you, tilting his head, sensing that you have something on your mind. "what's up?" he finally inquires.
"i'm in the mood for something sweet. do we have anything for dessert?" you pat your stomach, and he chuckles softly, moving closer to you. his hands rest on your sides as his thumb gently caresses your skin.
"what exactly are you craving?" you shrug in response, uncertain about your dessert preference. he laughs again, walking away to open the fridge. "i could make a fruit salad," he suggests, his eyes focused on the contents of the fridge.
"that sounds tempting," you reply, and seconds later, jay pulls out every single fruit you have. you observe as he peels oranges, bananas, and even apples. whenever you offer to help, he playfully pushes you away from the kitchen counter, mentioning something about treating you like the princess you are.
he tastes a piece of each orange before adding it to the bowl with the other already chopped fruits. if it's even slightly too sour, he sets it aside and peels another one. after a few minutes, he brings a spoonful of the fruit salad to your mouth, feeding you and relishing in the smile that lights up your face upon tasting its sweetness.
"sweet enough?" he asks, and you simply nod in response.

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ jake sim 제이크 심  ✩
the concept of the orange peel theory isn't just about peeling an orange; a perfect example of it is your boyfriend, jake.
jake, whos love language is taking care of you. jake, who stops in the middle of the street to tie your shoe after noticing that it loosen only a little bit. jake, who always opens door to his car for you and buckles your seatbelt. jake, who applies ointment to your ankle when you hurt yourself. jake, who’s ready to carry your shopping bags. jake, who always grabs your hand while crossing the street. jake, who kisses your arms after a tiring day. jake, who opens bags of chips, cans or anything else before handing it to you.
jake, who’s now peeling another orange for you, while watching a tv show in living room. jake, who’s eyes follow you when you suddenly stand up and leave the room, coming back with a pack of wet tissues. 
"why so suddenly?" he asks, shifting his gaze from the tv to you.
"because you already do so much for me; it's time for me to do something for you," you reply, locking eyes with him. he leans in, giving you a short kiss.
"but you know i don't want anything in exchange?" he questions, and you tilt your head, earning a chuckle. "i don't do it because i want something back. i do it because i love you, and it just feels right to do the smallest things for you."
"after all, opening a door or buying flowers is nothing for me, but it brightens your day, doesn't it? as long as my little acts of kindness bring a smile to your face, i'll continue. your smile is what i want in exchange," he explains, making you smile brightly.
you bring a piece of orange to his mouth, which he takes without hesitation. "thank you, jake," you whisper, and he kisses you again, the taste of the orange lingering on his lips.

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ park sunghoon 박성훈  ✩
sitting on the couch, tired after work, you look over to your boyfriend. his eyes almost stuck to the screen of his phone. 
“hoonie, can you bring me the fruit bowl from kitchen?” you suddenly ask, making him look up at you. he stares for a few seconds.
“no,” he says, silence filling the room, as you’re left taken aback. seconds later, he puts his phone down and stands up. he comes back with the fruit bowl you asked him for. he places it in your hands. 
you still look at him, puzzled, but his eyes are again focused on his phone. when you look away, about to grab the orange, his hand stops you. without a word he just grabs it, taking it away from you.
“i was craving one, actually,” he says, his usual teasing tone evident. too bad it was the last orange in the bowl and he knew it. this is what you thought he was teasing about. you furrow your eyebrows, but then grab an apple to bite into it. 
you already took few bites of your apple when sunghoon hands you peeled orange. it’s not the greatest peeled orange you ever saw, some chunks of it missing, only showing how hard it was to peel. you look over to him, his eyes glued to you. 
“you dont want it?” you ask and he shakes his head, then taking the orange to separate it into half and then pieces, bringing one of them to your mouth. 
“c’mon, angel, you can eat it.” he says, reassuring you that he really didn’t want it. 

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ kim sunoo 김선우  ✩
“sunoo, what is this box doing here?” you call out to your boyfriend from kitchen. there’s a suspicious looking box on the kitchen counter. you hesitate in opening it, not knowing if sunoo wants you to see what’s inside. 
shortly after, he joins you in the kitchen, looking even more suspicious but sporting a bright smile. "go ahead, open it," he suggests, now standing behind you with his hands around your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder.
you cautiously open the box, revealing neatly cut, assorted fruits arranged in a bento box. some adorable fruit forks are stuck into a few of them, indicating that sunoo indeed put in the effort.
"do you remember mentioning yesterday that you were craving oranges?" he asks as you glance over at him. "i bought some this morning, along with a variety of other fruits. and when i saw these cute forks, i couldn't resist getting them too." he picks up a fruit fork featuring my melody from sanrio and brings an orange to your mouth. you quickly grab it between your teeth.
while chewing, you also take a fork and offer another orange to sunoo. he chuckles and takes a bite as well.
"thank you," you express after a few more bites of the shared fruit. he simply shakes his head, silencing you with another piece placed near your mouth.

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ nishimura riki 西村 力 ✩
you settled down next to niki, who was engrossed in his phone. he didn't glance your way, clearly immersed in whatever he was doing. meanwhile, you held an orange in your hands.
“niki, could you peel this for me?” you inquired, feeling oddly nervous.
once again, he extended his hand without looking at you, ready to receive whatever you placed in it. handing him the orange, he finally glanced your way when he felt its texture, tucking his phone away.
“what?” he questioned, a puzzled expression on his face. you chuckled, further confounding him.
“could you peel it for me?” you repeated, and he shifted his attention to the orange. without uttering a word, he dug his nails into the peel, prompting a smile from you.
“the things i do for you; i was literally texting my manager about this collaboration,” he remarked, handing you the peels.
“you passed the orange peel theory, though!” you quipped, and he looked at you again.
“the wha– oh my god! it just squirted on me!” he exclaimed, wiping orange juice off his face and laughing upon hearing your laughter. after both of you settled down and you wiped the remaining orange juice with your thumb, you clarified.
“the orange peel theory is about small acts of service. if you're willing to peel an orange for me, i figure you wouldn't mind tackling more significant tasks or something like that,” but he interrupted you.
“y/n, what the hell, i would literally chop down an orange tree for you if you asked me to.”
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total-dxmure · 4 months
Text
✦ INVISIBLE STRING THEORY →【ELLIE WILLIAMS】→ CHAPTER TWO
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pairings: modern!marine ellie x reader
summary: the marines didn’t ruin ellie. ellie ruined ellie. after being medically discharged she feels lost. being sent to live with joel is more of a last ditch effort to save her and less of a fun reunion for the father-daughter duo. jackson is worlds different than chicago, but the fresh air and sprawling countrysides are a welcome reprieve. ellie finds herself finding comfort in more than just the change in scenery though. after losing your girlfriend due to an accident you feel as though you’ll never find love again- but that was before meeting ellie williams. the two of you figure out that you have more in common than just the fact that she and your girlfriend were both marines though. tethered by some invisible string, the two of you meeting has to be fate. who would have known that you were the golden ticket to ellie’s recovery?
warnings: eventual smut! lots of tension building and mutual pining. ellie falls first and hard. small town girl meets a frightening, strong ex marine. TW: talk of panic attacks, ptsd episodes and death. come for the ellie smut and stay for the plot and fluff. (A/N: this chapter is just plot/character building. next chapter we're getting to the good stuff)
⬶ previous chapter | next chapter ⤅
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The old farm truck rocked back and forth as you made your way up the all-too familiar dirt path, heading in the direction of the greenhouses. You’d already let the hens out to graze and feed and the last thing you had to do before dropping today’s produce off was check on the nurseries. 
Johnny Cash’s southern twang hummed gently over the speakers, your well worn-in cassette tape having been the first thing you reached for this morning. The sun had risen just a few hours ago, and after a few cups of much needed coffee you were ready to go. 
The caffeine had done the lord's work, having cleared your brain of any anxious background noise. You could actually function when you had tasks at hand. The second you slowed down though… well, that was a different story. You were trying hard not to imagine Abby sitting beside you in the beat-to-hell red pickup, her blonde braid tossed over her shoulder as she stuck her arm out of the window. You used to joke about her being part dog, what with her loving the wind on her face so much. You missed being able to reach out and wrap a stray strand of blonde hair around your finger, only giving it a soft tug when those blue eyes of hers looked at you with a little too much heat behind them. 
So instead of looking at the empty passenger seat you busied yourself with turning up the volume, country music crackling over the shot, old speakers. You all but jumped out of the car the second you put the car in park, ready to get your hands dirty and your mind preoccupied.
You couldn’t remember how many times the two of you had snuck off to the greenhouse when your mother had gotten a little too overbearing back when she still lived in the main house with you. There wasn’t a single surface in the old rickety building that abby hadn’t fucked you on or vice versa. 
You walked along the rows and rows of seedlings, looking for any sign of water rot or bug infestations. Everything was perfect, every stem and leaf a vibrant green. Tomatoes, all different kinds of summer squash, and beans of every variety; you had the gift of a green thumb. Your father was more than happy to sign his company over to you right before he passed. All five acres of his property belonged to you now, and with that every bit of responsibility had been placed upon your shoulders. You used to resent the fact that you were so young and in charge of so much. Now you were thankful for the constant work. Distractions. You hated seeing your dad’s life work being summed up as a mere distraction, but it was the only thing that got you out of bed in the morning. 
Everyone in the family knew that your dad had wanted a boy when your mother’s pregnancy was first announced. It was a family business, the job having been passed down to him by his own father. Still, he had been ecstatic to show you the ropes. Rather than taking up dance or art like most other little girls your age, you spent your free time elbow deep in mud. You wore the bows and fussed over getting new outfits, but overalls were your daily uniform. 
You wore a pair even today, your work boots tightly fastened to ward away any unwanted pecks from overprotective mother hens. Today was bound to be monotonous, as it always was. All you had to do was repot a few strawberry plants. Maybe if you were lucky a goat would find a hole in the gate and escape. At least it would give you something to worry about that wasn’t Abby related. 
You slunk over towards the sinks, pumping soap into your dirt covered palm to wash off the dirt. You rubbed your hands together to begin lathering but froze when you realized your right hand felt bare. You brushed your thumb against your middle finger only to realize that it was just as you had feared. 
Your ring. It wasn’t there. 
White hot dread locked your limbs as you turned your hand over, the dainty opal missing from your middle finger. You blinked, hoping that you were just seeing things. You didn’t even turn off the sinks before racing back over to the repotting table, as if the promise ring had grown legs and would escape you. Your eyes frantically searched the table, pain shooting through your knees as you dropped down on all fours, pushing dirt and leaves aside to get a better vantage point. Nothing. It wasn’t there. 
“Oh god. No! No, no, no.” You all but screamed, eyes filling with tears as you pulled yourself off. 
You broke out into a nervous sweat, the blood rushing from your head. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening right now. 
You didn’t care if you killed the plants, you ripped the strawberries up by their stems, shaking their roots out as you searched their new pots. 
Every. Single. One. 
Empty. 
Abby had given you that ring just before her last deployment, promising that she would be giving you the real thing once she got back. Of course, she never did. It was single handedly the most important piece of jewelry that you had ever owned, even above your grandmother’s pearls and engagement ring. How could you be so reckless? Why hadn’t you thought to leave it in the car? 
“Stupid! I’m so fucking stupid!” You screamed, tossing a clay pot on the ground in a fit of anger. It shattered behind you, exploding into a thousand tiny pieces. 
You spent an hour sifting through dirt and untangling roots before you finally realized that it was a lost cause. The ring was gone. You’d wrecked the entire greenhouse in your frantic search and the strawberries were just as you expected: dead. 
You slammed the door shut behind you, the old window panes shaking with the force. You had barely thrown yourself into the pickup before your body was wracked with full body sobs. White knuckling the steering wheel you leaned your head forward, completely unbothered as the horn blared. 
How could you lose something so precious to you? It had been the last gift that you had ever received from Abby. The last. There was no possible way to replace something that was that special to you. Her hands had touched that ring. She’d been nervous to give it to you in the first place, anxious that two years hadn’t been enough time to give you something that sentimental. It was the meaning behind it that had you clutching at your chest, your fingernails digging into your shirt as if you could rip your heart straight out from between your ribs. 
She was going to replace that ring once she got back. Give you the “real deal” once she was back home and able to have a ceremony. 
But there would never be a ceremony. Never another ring. Never another Abby. 
Never. Never. Never. 
It felt like you were losing a piece of her, and with that came the revelation- the same one that you’ve already had a thousand times- that she was really gone. There would be no do-overs; no alternate universes where the two of you could be together. The reality of your situation sat heavy in your throat, clogging your airway. 
The loss of Abby had eclipsed your heart completely, and darkness was all that was left. 
You stayed in the car until your eyes had practically swelled shut and there were no more tears to shed. 
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The car ride back to her childhood home was completely silent, the only sound being the engine of Joel’s shiny new truck. She did her best to compliment him on the new purchase, but Ellie was sure that she didn’t sound even half as enthusiastic as she had hoped she would. She didn’t feel like being an actress today. Not when he already knew how bad she was doing. Joel had taken one look at her as she got off of the plane and frowned, grabbing her bags only after giving her a bone shattering side hug. 
“Well I missed ya,” He finally spoke, causing her to jump in surprise. The sound of his baritone voice soothed her nerves over though. “I’ve really missed you annoyin’ the hell outta me at all hours of the day.” 
Ellie cracked a small smile at that, leaning her head into the plush leather seat. The last time she saw Joel was when she had first been transferred to the Kindred Hospital back in Chicago, which was where she had rotted away for a full week. Her eye and face healed up quickly but her back was a different story. She’d been burned badly and had all of the nasty scars to prove it. He had stayed by her bedside for the entire week and had helped her to readjust to being back home in her apartment. The nearly debilitating pain was the only thing that had distracted her from the gravity of her situation back then. 
Her therapist said it was normal to disassociate for long periods of time when the body and mind are put under so much stress. Ellie still felt like Ellie back then, but it was only because she didn’t have any real grasp on reality. It was just a few days after Joel left that she finally snapped out of it. She was one of the only five that survived. She was told that landmines were the cause of so many deaths in Iraq. 
“It happens all the time out there. You didn’t know. It’s not your fault.”  
She didn’t want her unit to just be another statistic. They weren’t just numbers. They were people who had loved ones at home. Loved ones that they had to leave for months and months on end. She couldn’t help but shoulder all of the blame. Ellie was the one that had led them out there in the first place. It was her fault, so why hadn’t she died right along with them? She would have considered herself lucky if she had lost her life right along with them. These were the people that she saw daily. Ellie had developed deep friendships with every member of her unit. She knew the details of all of their lives- the names of their children and loved ones back at home, what they wanted to do with their lives once they were dismissed- how could she not feel like someone had ripped her soul to shreds? How could she not constantly remind herself, every second of every goddamn day, that she was the reason. 
She was a ghost. A mere shell of the person that she once was and she had no one to blame but herself. 
“I didn’t know you liked me being annoying so much,” Still, she turned to Joel and cracked him a small smile. It was more for his sake and less for hers though. “I’ll make sure to turn it up a notch while I’m here.” 
The older man grumbled, shaking his head slightly as he kept his eyes on the country roads in front of him. “That sounds like a threat.” 
Ellie could tell that he was playing with her. They were professionals when it came to teasing each other, often to the point that people thought that they were seriously bickering. The short haired female let herself settle into the normalcy of the moment. He hadn’t mentioned anything about the accident or her mental state yet, so it was easy to pretend that things were still…okay. 
So that’s exactly what she did. She began to pretend. Ellie allowed herself to be transported back in time. This was just another Tuesday. She’d get back home and sweet talk Joel into cooking her an after school snack. Then she’d go up to her room and procrastinate doing her homework so that she could reread one of her comics. 
“Got anything good in here?” Ellie asked before opening up the center console. “I’m not gonna find anything nasty, am I?” 
Joel’s lips pursed as he tried to fight off a smile. “Don’t go rifflin’ through my shit, kiddo.” 
Her eyes snagged on a familiar purple book, and for the first time in a while something yawned to life in her chest. Joy. 
“What do we have here?” She pulled out the book of puns, using it to fan herself before she cracked the bad boy open. 
“Ah, don’t start.” He groaned. 
She didn’t take the time to wonder why he had put the well loved book in his brand new truck. Instead of allowing herself to be overcome with endearment she flipped to a random page, her lips turning up in the first genuine smile she’d had in months. 
“Where can you find a tiny coke?” She asked him, turning in her seat so that she could face him, tucking one of her converse-clad feet underneath her. 
“Hey! Get your dirty shoes off of my new upholstery!” Joel reached over and gave her knee a slap. 
Ellie reared back, holding the book of puns tight to her chest. 
“Come on, try and guess.”
He groaned, rolling his eyes as he leaned his arm against the door. 
“I don’t know… tiny town.” 
Her nose wrinkled, an eyebrow quirking up at his half assed answer. 
“Shitty guess, but alright.” She mumbled under her breath. “Mini-soda.” 
“Hilarious.” He said sarcastically, turning onto the familiar drive. 
“I think I saw you smile though.”She leaned over to give his cheek a poke, but he swiftly batted her hand away. 
The truck’s all-terrain tires crunched over the gravel driveway, revealing the only real home she’d ever lived in. The house and yard looked exactly the same as it had whenever she was a teenager. She sighed out a breath of relief, not knowing how much well she would have handled any sort of severe change. Ellie opened the passenger side door before Joel had a chance to put the car in park, eager to settle in after the flight. She wanted to shower, and that surprised her a bit. A welcome surprise.  
Maybe things would be better for her here.  
“You didn’t turn my old room into some perverted sex dungeon while I was gone, did you?” She teased as she grabbed her tan duffel bag, easily tossing it over her shoulder as she bounded up the stairs. 
He laughed as a response, following close behind her so that he could unlock the front door. She didn’t know why he even bothered. He lived in the middle of nowhere, and they rarely got visitors. 
“I’ve got some guitars in there that are worth a fortune.” He’d told her the last time she’d asked. 
It had been one of the few times that Ellie had snuck out of the house after curfew. She’d been unable to haul herself back into her second story window once she’d gotten back home and had been forced to sleep in the beat up old hatchback that he had bought her for her sixteenth birthday. Breakfast that morning had been… tense, to say the least. 
“I didn’t touch your room… but I did get a dog, so make sure not to let her out.” 
She paused at that, turning to look at him with wide eyes. There had been a strict “no animals” rule back when she lived with him. She never thought she’d see the day where Joel Miller would adopt a pet, let alone a dog. 
“You got a dog?” She was still in disbelief and half expected him to fucking with her. 
“Buckley is a good boy. He shits on the floor sometimes and barks all hours of morning though. It’s almost like having you home.” He teased, bumping his shoulder against hers so that he could shove his key into the lock. 
The deadbolt clicked open, and low and behold there was a dog. He looked like some sort of lab mix, his pink tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth as he anxiously waited for his owner’s return. Ellie was too excited to come up with a witty response to Joel’s joke. She tossed her duffle down on the couch, quickly getting down on her knees so that she could pet the dog. 
“He’s not much of a guard dog, is he?” He asked, closing the door behind him. 
The second that Ellie’s hand tangled into his thick black fur he flopped down, eager for love. Ellie smirked, looking at Joel over her shoulder. 
“I don’t know. He looks pretty ferocious to me.” 
The sudden knock on the door had Ellie’s lips downturning, eyebrows pinching in confusion. She didn’t like the idea of company right now, and the last thing she wanted was to socialize with anyone. For a second she feared that he had called a doctor or therapist to come out to the house to see her. She wasn’t sure if she could take another “come to Jesus” meeting this week, and she was barely holding it together as is. Ellie put her hands on her knees, pushing herself up to stand before she nodded at the door. 
“Company?” She simply asked, crossing her arms over her chest. 
Joel ignored her obvious distaste, wrenching the door open quickly before she could stop him. It sure as hell wasn’t Tommy. . . and Ellie doubted that most doctors wore overalls, even in Jackson. The sun was beginning to set on the horizon, the golden rays shone through the vast expanse of trees on the property, making it almost look like the world was on fire. The warm glow behind the beautiful stranger made her look ethereal almost, her eyes watery and cheeks flushed. At her feet was a cardboard box packed to the brim with fruits and vegetables. All at once Ellie became startlingly aware of the fact that she looked like absolute hammered shit. Her hair was a frizzy mess, her skin was paler than it had ever been before, and she was wearing an old NASA shirt and dingy sweatpants. If she noticed her disheveled appearance she didn’t show it. 
The smile that she beamed in Joel’s direction didn’t quite reach her eyes, and a strange sense of understanding flickered in Ellie’s gaze as she took a few inquisitive steps forward. Ellie Williams knew what suffering was like; true suffering. Looking at her was like looking in a mirror, her well hidden misery plain as day to the auburn haired female. 
“Sorry I’m so late, Mr Miller. My truck was giving me problems.” Her voice was beautiful. Melodic in a way that Ellie’s wasn’t. 
Spring. . . this girl was spring incarnate. 
And she was lying through her teeth. 
She’d been crying. Ellie could tell. Still, Joel was already peeking his head out of the door, looking in the direction of where she had parked. 
“I could take a look at it for you.” He was being dismissed with a small wave of your hand before he could even get the words fully out. 
“That’s so nice of you, but I’ve got it cranking up again. It shouldn’t give me any more trouble today.” Her hair fell off of her shoulder as she leaned down to pick up the box.
Ellie moved forward without thinking, picking up the heavy box for the girl before her fingers could even grip the sides of the cardboard. “Here, let me get it.” She said, craning her neck up so that she could speak directly to the woman. 
There wasn’t a single thing about you that Ellie found undesirable. In that moment she was completely certain that you were the most beautiful woman she had ever seen, even with the pain and memory that swirled behind your bright eyes. Their eyes locked, and much to Ellie’s embarrassment, she held her gaze. She watched her with the same sort of silent appreciation. 
“-I think it would be good for her. What do you say?” Ellie hadn’t noticed that Joel had been talking the entire time. 
The woman blinked a few times, tearing her eyes away from Ellie. “Huh? I’m sorry, do you mind repeating that?” She was nervously tucking a few strands of unruly hair behind her ear, shifting in place on the front porch. 
“I was just saying that Ellie is going to be staying out here with me. I think working with you on the farm would be good for her. It would help her to get out of the house, and I know you’ve been pretty busy since it’s just you running things now.” Joel put a hand on Ellie’s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. Supportive. Non-judgemental. He was reminding her what would be good for her mental state right now, and having something to do with her hands would certainly help to take her mind off of things. 
“O-Oh!” The girl’s lips parted in shock, her eyes flickering between the two of them. “Yeah, I don’t see why not. I get a pretty early start though, so don’t feel obligated to wake up as early as I do.” 
“I’ll wake up.” Ellie said quickly, nodding her head. 
Her words held a tone of desperation and it had Joel’s head whipping around in her direction. He probably wasn’t expecting her to be so supportive of his last minute idea. She couldn’t be sure if it was because she genuinely wanted to get her mind off of things or if the farm girl’s looks had anything to do with her enthusiasm. Ellie couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt drawn to someone like this. Relationships were the last thing on her mind these days. 
“Can you start tomorrow?” The other girl asked, shoving her hands into her front pockets. 
Adorable. She was adorable. Ellie felt her breath hitch and all she could do was nod as an answer for your question. 
“Alright. . . “She began to trail off, backing up a few steps on the porch. It seemed like you were in a bit of a hurry. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.” 
“Tomorrow.” Ellie repeated back to her. 
She leaned back, lifting the box higher up on her chest so that she could watch the woman get back into her mud stained pickup truck. She only took a step back when Joel started to close the door on her. 
“So you’re actually fine with that? I didn’t think you would go for it, honestly.” Joel rubbed at his stubbled chin, flashing her a small smile of approval. 
“There’s no way I want to be stuck in a house with your ass all hours of the day.” Ellie quipped, walking to the kitchen so that she could place the vegetables on the countertop. 
“I think workin’ there would be good for the both of you. That poor girl has had an awful year. . . I think you’d be good for each other. She needs a friend.” Joel’s voice was somber as he followed her into the kitchen. 
Ellie turned to face the older man, swallowing hard as he leaned against the doorway. He was being a bit cryptic. It seemed like he didn’t want to be the one to tell Ellie the girl’s business. Still, she was curious, and she didn’t want to be blind sided tomorrow just in case she wanted to talk about it. Ellie wasn’t usually nosey, but she had a strong urge to get to know her. 
“What do you mean by that?” Ellie’s first guess was that she had to be going through some sort of divorce. Joel had mentioned the fact that she was on her own now, so coming to that conclusion was natural. 
“No, nothin’ like that,” He cleared his throat before pushing off of the door frame, slowly beginning to unload the box's contents. “She lost her girlfriend and her father this year. She’s the kindest girl. . . you’d never know how much she’s sufferin’ based on how she acts.” 
“Oh.” Ellie frowned, having realized that your mourning must be the reason for your sad, sad eyes. She understood how it felt to lose so many people so close together. Better than anyone, really.
“Oh.” 
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moonstruckme · 3 months
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id love to request spencer reid with a shy!reader🙈🙈 i love him sm and your work even more!! if this doesn't appeal to you thats all cool i hope you have a great day!!!
Love you <3
Spencer Reid x shy!reader ♡ 1k words
Spencer peers over the top of his cubicle as you type up your report, the mug of coffee he’d brought you still full and no longer steaming. He’s got a hypothesis. 
On Tuesday, he’d brought you a coffee at your desk. It had gone over like most interactions with you; you’d gone a bit red in the face, thanked him profusely, and cradled the mug in your hands like it was the most precious thing in your possession. But when he’d left that night, Spencer had seen the mug sitting on your desk, still full to the brim with dark, cold coffee. He’d brought you another today to see if those results would repeat. He feels a bit guilty for not just talking to you about it, but he’s got a theory and he knows you’d deny it if he asked. So instead, he’s sneaking furtive glances over the top of his cubicle, waiting until enough time has passed to call it. 
“What’re you peeping at?” 
He swivels his chair and Morgan’s leaning his hand on Spencer’s desk all suave-like. Spencer makes a face indicating he should be quiet, but you look up with a quiet “Hm?” and there’s nothing Morgan loves more than exposing him for his schemes. 
“Pretty boy here keeps looking over at your desk,” Morgan says. Spencer turns again, and your cheeks are already getting pinkish. Another thing Morgan loves: bringing attention to you, even though it’s your own personal circle of hell. “I just want to know why.” 
“I’m testing a theory,” Spencer admits. 
Unabashed interest gleams in Morgan’s eye. He quirks an eyebrow. “And what’s that?” 
Spencer tries to convey some apology in his look, and by the wariness in your features you read it. “You don’t actually drink coffee, do you?” 
The response is clear even before you open your mouth. Your eyes drop to the full mug on your desk, shoulders hunching inward sheepishly and face taking on a fire engine-esque hue. 
“I don’t,” you say quietly. And if there wasn’t already enough apology in your tone, you tack on a quick, “Sorry.” 
“No, don’t be sorry,” he says quickly while Morgan looks between you two and the coffee curiously. “That’s what I thought.” 
“Hold up.” Morgan’s eyebrows go up, and you shrink further. “I brought you coffee just the other day. You’re telling me you’re not drinking it?” 
“No,” you murmur. You look as though you fully expect to be shunned for your answer. 
“Then why not say something?” 
Spencer thinks that’s fairly obvious, but he’s not going to answer for you. 
“I just…” You’ve got your hands in your lap now, probably fiddling with something under your desk in that nervous way of yours. Spencer wishes you’d warm up to them. You’re new and green and always so certain you’re doing something wrong, but he wishes he could pull your hands from beneath the desk and soothe them—soothe you—until you were comfortable. “I didn’t want you to think I didn’t appreciate it.” 
He can see Morgan ready to dissent, so Spencer cuts in. 
“Do you just not like coffee?” he asks, trying to stay as far from interrogative as he can for your benefit.
You do seem to relax a bit, pulling your stare from Morgan’s eagerly. “I just can’t do caffeine,” you admit. “It makes me too jumpy.” 
Spencer can’t really imagine you much more skittish than you already are on a daily basis, so he agrees that’s for the best. 
“I have seen you drink it, though.” Morgan’s voice is bemused. “In the break room. You had a cup just the other day.” 
“It was decaf,” you tell him softly. 
“We have decaf?”
“Have you looked on the top shelf of the cabinet?” Spencer asks. “There’s a surprising amount of variety. We have decaf, teas, hot chocolate mix—sometimes even apple cider mix.” 
You nod, starting to look less fidgety. Spencer likes to get you like this when he can. It’s an ongoing project of his. Maybe it’s just that it’s easier to relax when the people around you are relaxed too, but there’s something about setting you at ease in particular that makes his chest feel warm and full. That might be something else to look into. When he has time. 
“Yeah, yeah, the wonders of the top cabinet.” Morgan waves this off, as if he’s ever heard of it before (he hasn’t, Spencer can tell). “All I’m hearing is that you let us bring you coffee for weeks just because you were worried we’d bite your head off if you said something.” 
You grimace, but there’s a bit less tension in you now as you look up at Morgan, thoroughly chastened. “Sorry,” you all but whisper. 
“Fine,” he rolls his eyes good-naturedly, “I forgive you. Decaf only from now on, got it.” 
“Thanks,” you squeak as he turns around, sauntering back to his own desk. Your eyes find Spencer, meeting his for a fraction of a second before dropping to his chin. “Sorry I didn’t drink your coffee.” 
“It’s really fine,” he almost laughs, and the humor in his voice gives you the confidence to lift your eyes to his again. He’s glad for it. “I don’t care, I was just curious why you didn’t like it. And for the record,” he leans closer to the short wall dividing your desks, speaking low, “if there’s anything else like that, you can tell me. I won’t bite your head off the way he does.” He cuts a glance towards Morgan’s desk. You push your lips together, tamping down a smile. Spencer grins too, partly to encourage you and partly because he wants to. 
“Thank you.” Your voice is quiet, a new teasing edge to it that he likes the sound of. “I’ll let you know if anything comes up.” 
“Great.” He reaches over, taking the mug from your desk. “I’m going to go pour this down the drain. Do you want me to grab you a decaf?” You can’t seem to decide between thanks so much and really, you don’t have to, so Spencer brings you one anyway.
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