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inkskinned · 11 months

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im having a particularly terrible night with urges and imagery that i dont know how to handle. i gave in to some things. held back on some others. but im barely holding on, dear internet stranger.

you do not owe me your time or your words.. but if you could write some hope into existence for me.. i would be unendingly grateful to you.

please. tell me how you do it. tell me how you survive. because im not so sure i can get through the fifteen days it'll take to get to my seventeenth birthday.

could you please give me something to place my faith in? i dont think the universe is watching out for me anymore.

i don't usually answer these, because i am not a professional, and you deserve professional help. when i was 17 i was terrified of the idea of professional help, because my household was extremely unsafe, and made it clear that if i ever chose to get help, i would be punished for it.

i hope this is not your case. i hope that you can call someone, and they can take you where you should go.

but i will give you the advice that i wish i got, when i couldn't get help at 17, when i was so bad that years later, i literally don't-know-how-i-survived it: what you want is peace, not death. your brain is sick. it has romanticized an ending where there are no consequences. where effort isn't necessary. where you can just... forget.

you want peace. that is a normal, human thing to want. maybe it feels more like you want quiet. or just... to take a break for a second.

here is what i will say: to end yourself means you never get to experience what it's like to actually be happy. i thought i knew what it was like, and i was bitter about it. i'd say - i've been happy, it's not worth it, because i didn't know what i was missing. i thought that happiness meant having a partner or having a job or money or a college degree. it sounded like effort. it sounded like something that had to happen to me.

for the first time in my life, just this week, i was able to go to a concert and just-enjoy-it. no liquor, no drugs. just stomping my feet and getting caught up in it. i didn't feel nervous or self-conscious or overwhelmed. i just had a good time. these days have a lot of these firsts for me - it is the first time i can eat cake without crying. it is the first time i can be around an exacto blade without supervision. it is the first time i have too many people to call when i am crying.

i can't tell you where you'll run into happiness, only that, for me, it started once i was out of that fucking house. it started once i figured out where the pain was coming from. once i figured out that i was not possessed, something medical was wrong with me. that i am not stupid or lazy, i have depression and adhd. the first few years were difficult. at 19, during my efforts to recover, i actually got worse by a considerable margin. and then, with time and patience - i got better.

happiness doesn't feel like what you think it will. in movies it's so golden and all-encompassing. but it doesn't fly into your hands when you buy your first car nor does it arrive in the arms of a partner nor does it require passing your classes. happiness came to me on a tuesday in the form of a red-winged blackbird, and i looked at her, and she looked at me, and i said - oh. the whole world suddenly filled itself in with color. like i had been forever-asleep. like every corner of every room was suddenly glistening.

it ended quickly, back then. it just stopped in to check in on me. but it was enough - this thing i had never experienced, but that i knew (logically) could happen. before that, i was only staying because it would make my mom sad if i died. that was my only reason. and then the happiness came, so strange and brilliant and lovely that for years i couldn't even look at it directly.

these days, things are so different. life is so much easier. i don't wish for death because so much of what i have is already at peace. my boss understands when i need a mental health day. people in general are less prone to high school drama. entire communities hold my hand and have my number. i have a car and a dog and a little apartment garden and candles on all available surfaces and today i bought myself a little cake just-to-celebrate-nothing. my body is my own and we are both dancing.

there are so many things i've gotten to taste in the last 10 years. i know, for you, that is an eon, because it's more than half of your life. but if it helps? in the 5 years between 17-21: i filled myself with laughter and love. i got to be a lead in a ballet and got my first tattoo and then my second and pierced my ears the way i'd wanted to (one of them professionally the other over a hot stove with a potato) and i discovered hozier is my favorite singer (i know. he was new back then) and i got my first real job and my first real paycheck and i hadn't ever been seen as smart but then i started to actually treat my adhd as a condition rather than a burden and people started saying you're like the smartest person in the room and my best friend met her husband who i will one day stand next to as maid of honor when he is her groom and i got to help people and make a stupid blog called "inkskinned" and find out that writing is actually my passion and that maybe i'm actually kind of good at it if i just practice and i got to meet my parents' dog (his name is kaiju) and i slept on couches and kissed people and tried new things and learned how to breathe without feeling my chest tighten and that peace is here, on this planet, that peace echoes everywhere, it is in my hair and my homework and my houseplants, it is quiet and divine and mine because i fought for it and i built it and yes i lost hair over it but holy shit the whole world feels like it is shifted through a sunbeam

recently someone asked me if i could go back in time to 6th grade, with all the knowledge i have now, would i? and without thinking, i barked absolutely not. i know i should say it's because i wouldn't want to risk losing any of this stuff - but really it's because i would never survive being a teenager again. it sounds incredibly lame and impossible, fake - but being a teenager was the hardest thing i ever did. i had no voice, no control, only fear and hatred.

but i did survive it. nothing about me is special. nothing about me is stronger than you or better prepared or more efficient. i didn't survive it perfectly. i made a lot of mistakes and lost a lot of friends and harmed myself in ways that i'm still recovering from. but i did survive it. and there is a part of me looking at you in the past and saying - i'm you in the future.

and holy shit. every day. every goddamn day i'm glad we survived to see the rest of it. because you hit 18 and everything changes. like, everything. and holy shit, it is infinitely worth it.

#i hope you are okay #i wish i could help more #i hope the pain eases soon #and i hope that you stay #ps . to those of you reading this thinking i should help you too: please just dm me #it makes me really #really really scared when it's anonymous #bc i cant check in with u #i am not a professional and i am not actually good at helping ppl through their troubles #this is an exception bc they are 16 #not the rule #ps if u misunderstand ''being a teenager is the hardest thing i ever did'' when i mention briefly that i was in unsafe housing...#trust me. it was worse there. by like A HUGE margin #every person raised in unsafe housing nodding their head like . oh yeah worse stuff TECHNICALLY happened after but leaving that home was #legit the hardest thing i ever did

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brigidfromthecelts · 2 months

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Healing Hands (Law X FemReader)

Summary: You were somewhat of a slave on your previous crew - if you could call them that - and now that you are with the Heart Pirates, you don't really want to bother anyone.

Until you ask your captain to remove that awful Jolly Roger tattoo that covers very intimate places that he now has to touch.

Notes: For MATURE readers only! Implied/referenced abuse - Mild Sexual Content

This is very likely a one time thing. I was just trying to do a character study on Law and it escalated! Also, this is quite raw, compared to my usual works. I did not want to waste too much time on this since it was mostly writen on a whim!

Ps: English is not my first language so I apologise in advance for any spelling/grammar mistakes.

Word count: 3650

Link for A03 if you rather read there.

The first time it happened it was very light. Just a deep pressure behind your eyes, a throbbing of sorts that came and went. It was bearable, for a while, then it became bothersome so you thought that some medicine might help and stopped by the sick bay.

Luckily, the captain was nowhere in sight, and you could go by your business unannounced. You did not want to upset your captain! You had barely exchanged two full sentences with him since you joined the Heart Pirates, and to say that he intimidated you was not enough.

So you took some headache pills from the shelf and went on your way.

Only two days had passed when it happened the second time and this time the pain was sharper and it came with nausea and a sensitivity to bright light and loud noises. Grunting you made your way to the sick bay again and popped an extra pill, just to be sure it would pass. Thank God the captain was away again.

The third time happened the morning after and it felt like dying, surely. Your skull was being split into two by an invisible axe and you could barely get out of bed. You went into the bathroom to empty your stomach on the toilet but it was already empty so you were dry heaving for about ten minutes, large tears staining your puffed up red cheeks.

And the pain did not relent.

You knew why this was happening, really. You had been deprived of using your devil fruit powers for such a long time by those cursed sea prism cuffs that, now that you were free to use them, your body was resenting the newfound freedom.

Maybe this time you should go to your captain. This could be beyond your expertise.

You got up on wobbly steps and exited your room. The Polar Tang was bustling with activity, with everyone already on their posts and working hard. Everyone but you. As you were approaching Law’s quarters, you heard him yell and berate someone over - it seemed, since there was no response - the Den Den Mushi. He seemed pretty mad.

So you backed away.

You could do this on your own. All these angry words were making your skin crawl and you could feel your jaw clenching which, in turn, just made your head hurt more and more. You could not help this natural reaction that your body had when presented with stressful situations.

The captain of your former crew -... Wait, could you even call them crew if all they did was kidnap you, place cuffs on you, force you to being with them and abuse you every day? You shouldn't, really. But it was ingrained deep into you that he was your owner and captain . And you should obey him. Anyway, he always yelled. So much yelling.

So your natural reaction to it was to escape. Which you did, even if your head was throbbing and you could barely see where you were going.

You bumped into something - someone - soft and almost fell down on your butt. Hastily apologising to Bepo, who helped steady you, since you could barely stand on your own legs, you looked into his eyes and implored.

“Don't tell the captain, Bepo, please!"

And then you ran away again, seeking refuge in the med bay and thinking about downing the entire bottle of headache pills, wondering how many could the human body sustain before shutting down.

Taking deep calming breaths, you sat on the infirmary bed. Just to get it together since the world was spinning around you and you did not know what to do to stop it.

There was your friend, nausea, making an appearance as well.

So you groaned and laid back. Just a minute. Just until everything stopped hurting.

Then it hit you. You could just use a bit of your powers. Maybe it would help. Oh, for sure it would help. Why didn't you think of it earlier?

Raising your right hand in the air and lowering your index finger made all the sounds stop. You sighed. The outer world had stopped existing and it was bliss for a second.

Then you lowered your ring finger because everything was still so very bright, even without your eyes open, so taking away your sight would make that stop hurting. Surely.

And it did. For a moment.

Next was the smell because the nausea was attacking you again and the smell of alcohol in this room was overwhelming. So you lowered your middle finger and the nausea subsided a bit.

You thanked whatever deity had helped you find the right fruit, because being able to just shut down your senses was definitely a bliss.

But the incessant throbbing was still there. Maybe you should turn off your sense of touch as well. Would it help?

You were about to lower your pinky when you felt a very strong hand enveloping your own and you gasped, though no sound reached your ears. Opening your eyes, you were momentarily confused because you couldn't see anything, until your pained and tired brain clicked and you let go of the hold you had in your senses by relaxing your hand.

And all at once, sound, smell and vision came to you and you were overwhelmed by your captain. His staring was cool and hard and he was berating you with angry words. He smelled of soap and antiseptic and it was all too much. You just wanted to retreat again.

Sitting up and raising your hand again, getting ready to use your powers, once more, you made yourself appear smaller, your legs against your chest, your free arm enveloping your knees, but Law’s grip was firm on your hand and he was not letting you use your powers.

“What do you think you're doing? How long has this been going on? Why didn't you come talk to me? I'm the doctor of this ship! Not just your captain.”

You felt tears sting in the back of your eyes but tears just made your last captain angrier so you bit them back, swallowing a sob. Your hand twitched. You wanted to retreat into yourself so badly.

“Stop trying to use your powers. If you're in pain, I'll help. You don't have to do everything alone.”

Now this time a sob really escaped your lips. No one had cared about you or about helping you for so long. You didn't know what it felt like to get someone's help.

“What hurts? You need to talk to me.”

He wasn't yelling anymore since your hand stopped twitching, but his gaze was so cold and intense .

“Head.” Your voice was weak and fragile. And so, so broken.

He took out a flashlight from the desk’s drawer and examined your irises. Then he told you to open your mouth and you groaned at the effort.

“Dizziness?” You nodded softly. “Nausea?” You nodded once more and your hand grasped the sheets because the world was spinning again. “When was the last time you ate?” You shrug. Honestly you have no idea. “Drink?”

“I can't keep anything in my stomach.” It hurt just to talk.

“Lay back. I'll start an IV. You're dehydrated."

You obeyed and closed your eyes. He wasn't looking at your face when a fat tear rolled down your cheek. It felt nice to be taken care of, for once.

You felt a sting when the needle punctured your skin but barely flinched. “Next time, come to me. I don't bite.”

You nodded stiffly but realised that he needed an explanation. “My last captain didn't like to be disturbed.”

You barely whispered.

“Well, your last captain was a dick and I thought that we had already established that.”

He knew some of the story. You didn't share everything with your new crew. They found you in chains, on one of your former captains punishments and put two and two together with the little information you had provided. They knew you were some sort of slave. You just didn't share much more than that.

The medication he had put in the IV was helping because the pain was subsiding and you sighed.

“If there's a next time, I'll be sure to find you.” You said and he nodded.

There was a beat of silence and he shifted on his chair. He was probably going to leave because he had other businesses to attend to other than keep you company, but, suddenly, you needed him there with you, so you opened your mouth and immediately regretted bringing up the subject.

“Can you erase tattoos?”

His dark eyes bore into yours and you gulped while looking elsewhere.

“Yes, but I thought that they hadn't marked you.” He looked at your bare arms and legs - since you still had your pyjamas on.

“They did. You just can't usually see it…” You felt your cheeks turn beet red. You should not have mentioned this. “Forget it, it's fine. It doesn't bother me that much.” You could feel your eyes stinging again.

“Clearly it does.” He leaned back on the chair and crossed his arms. “Do you want to show me?”

Not really. You didn't even know why you brought it up. Other than the fact that everytime you undressed or took a shower you wanted to use a knife and cut that damn tattoo off of you.

“It's big.”

That was an understatement. It was huge.

“Show me.” Well that was an order. And you were used to those. So you sighed deeply, trying to gather some courage.

He was a doctor, he was a handsome man. He had definitely seen boobs before. There was nothing to fear.

Slowly you lifted your pyjama's shirt, making sure you kept your nipples covered with your hands - trying to maintain some dignity, at least - while your eyes looked at anything other than his face.

Law got up and you heard a low grunt erupting from deep in his throat. “That dick did this to you?”

You nodded and suddenly your throat felt very tight. “He did.” You could feel Law’s eyes roaming around your body. The tattoo of the previous crew Jolly Roger was carved in the middle of your sternum but, since the Jolly Roger was of an octopus, it's tentacles were everywhere. Two of them enveloped your breasts in a very sexualized manner, there were two that escaped to the back, two just roamed around your stomach and the other two disappeared beneath the hem of your shorts.

And those were the ones Law was staring at, his eyes dark and his lips a thin line. You gulped, self conscious of your body and covered up.

“It's no big deal. It's been there for the last five years anyway…” And you could still feel the way your last captain touched you to mark your skin. Your turned your face away from Law, stifling a very small sob. You hated feeling this weak and pathetic. But there was nothing that you could do about it.

After five years of constant abuse, it was instinctive.

“I can do it whenever you want.” His voice betrayed nothing. But his eyes were as cold as death.

“Would right now be okay?” Had that sounded desperate? Because you were pretty sure you could not take another bath scrubbing yourself raw until everything turned red.

He nodded. “Just going to let Bepo know that I'll be busy. We should let the IV finish as well, so you have strength.”

And he left you without another word, but you could see him clenching his fists and could feel his aura and he was beyond angry.

You closed your eyes and tried to rest a bit. The pain in your head had finally subsided.

-*-

You woke up to a burning sensation in your stomach and hissed through your teeth while lifting up your head.

“I'm sorry, does it hurt? I anaesthetised you, so it shouldn't be too bad.” You shook your head. You'd known worse pain than this. “You were sound asleep so I started on your back then proceed to the stomach area. It's done.”

You looked down and he was right. A big part of it was gone. Most of the tentacles and the Jolly Roger were gone. You were really out of it for not having felt anything.

“For the rest of the tentacles you need to… Remove your clothes.” Was that a hint of a blush on his face? Because yours was burning up.

You nodded slowly. “Now?” He also nodded so you took a deep breath and took off your shirt. It was just boobs. And nipples. The last crew had seen them on a daily basis anyway and you were pretty sure that Law was just going to look at them in a medical way, not oggle at them and try to touch them like the other pirates did.

Somehow, very secretly, you were glad that the last captain only wanted you to himself. You would not have survived long by being abused by everyone in the crew.

Yep, that was definitely a blush on his cheeks. You gulped and tried to look anywhere but his face, but it was hard. He was so… intriguing…

Law hissed trough his teeth and flexed his fingers. “I have to touch you. It's the way this works. Can I?” You nodded but he closed his eyes firmly. “I know what you've been trough - at least what you do share, clearly not enough - so I need verbal consent this time, okay? Can I touch your breasts?”

Your stomach summersaulted at this affirmation and you were pretty sure that your heart had skipped a beat. Thankfully you weren't on any monitor or that would've been flagrant. “Yes, you can touch me.”

And as soon as his long fingers started to trace the tattoo on your skin, you felt like molten lava. He was just using his fingertips and his touch was so light, yet it was igniting a fire in your belly that you didn't know was there.

You were pretty sure that your mouth hung open since the minute he started to touch you but you couldn't care less. This feeling was overwhelming . You gulped and glanced at his face. His brows were scrunched together and his jaw was clenched tight. You could see little prespiration beads forming in his forehead. Was he using that much of his power? Or was it just the concentration?

His fingertips grazed your erect nipple and you bit your lower lip to stifle a moan. What was wrong with you? He was a doctor! He was doing a procedure! And you were getting turned on like crazy!

You closed your eyes tight and took a deep shaky breath. Vaguely a lone thought passed through your mind. You had never been touched like this. In such a gentle way. No touch had ever ignited this… desire within you.

You could feel your heart beating somewhere between your legs and you knew that that was no place for it to be beating so you tried to think of something else.

But you couldn't think of anything else.

Because this man was fire and desire and he was literally burning himself into your skin. Your hands clasped the sheets tight and you fought very hard not to arch your back and lean into his touch.

“Does it hurt?” His voice was somewhat affected as well. He seemed… drunk. But certainly not on booze.

“No!” You should've just kept your mouth shut tight because your no came out accompanied with an earth shattering moan that you were trying to contain since he started to touch you. He gasped and removed his hands. You turned tomato red and covered your mouth with your own hand. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean…”

Didn't mean what, genius? To be so turned on by your touch? To give in to pleasure? To want to have your lips on my nipples and your cock inside me? Shit. You should get a grip.

His hands were on the bed and he hung his head down, taking a deep breath. Was this affecting him too?

“Maybe you should use your powers.” His voice was so low that you weren't sure he had spoke at all. “Remove your sense of touch so I can do this.” The silence was stifling. “And remove mine, as well…”

When you didn't answer he lifted his head and you could see his eyes. He seemed lost, like he had never felt quite like this before. So you felt bold.

“I want to feel you.” You forced yourself to stare at him while you said those words and you couldn't care less if your head was fuming with embarassment. “Do you want to feel me…?”

He opened his mouth to answer but closed it immediately, taking a deep breath instead. “I'm your captain.”

“So?"

“Your experience with previous captains was terrible. I don't want to make you uncomfortable.”

Your hand traveled all the way up to his and your touch was feather light. “You're not making me feel uncomfortable. You're helping me heal.”

And that was the truth, because his touch was healing emotional scars as much as the physical ones and he should know that.

His eyes burned through yours and he seemed to be waging war inside of himself.

A small nod.

You could count that as a win. So you settled back again. Inhaling deeply and trying to control your emotions. You could use your powers as he had suggested. But you wanted to feel him .

“I need you to… Lower your shorts… Please.”

Your head snapped up and you stared at your boobs. He was done already with the tentacles of the breasts? Okay, so this was fast. You could get trough this.

Gulping, your hands found the hem of your shorts and you pulled them down, along with your panties. You heard Law’s shaky exhale while he looked at you. You knew the two tentacles trailed over the mound of your pussy and wrapped themselves around your thighs. So you lifted your knees and opened your legs slightly before he had to ask you to.

It took a while before he touched you and you were starting to feel self conscious. “Is… Is everything alright?”

He grunted and held his index finger up, like asking you to wait, while his eyes remained closed. For an instant you thought that he was reviewing the process in his head, but then your eyes traveled down his pants - unintentionally - and you could see the outline of his hardened cock tight against his pants.

So he was as aroused as you were.

Blushing, you were just about to give some mercy to this man and to use your powers when he opened his eyes and, with a very determined look, started to touch you.

And by everything that was sacred, there were so many nerves down there, and it was like they were all tingling, right now.

You instantly clenched your jaw and grasped the sheets. His touch was harsher now, needier it seemed. He was using both hands - maybe trying to finish this faster? - and the sensations were intensifying by the second.

A burning sensation all around, a tightness in your belly and an ache - like something was missing - in your core. His fingers were so deft and long and hot and you needed them inside you so desperately .

You bit your lip and couldn't help but arch your back a little when his finger almost touched your clit. He grunted and hissed through his teeth but he did not stop.

Aparently, two hands truly worked faster because he moved his position and was now staring at your tighs - and probably at your dripping wet self.

“You're going to kill me.” He muttered between his teeth but before you could reply, he had one hand on each of your tighs and his touch was now rough but not at all unkind and you moaned so hard your throat hurt.

“Fuck, Law. Maybe take a break. I-... I'm…” Everything was overwhelming and his touch was igniting you and you just knew that you were going to fold and come even without his fingers inside of you, if he didn't remove his fucking hot hands from you.

“I'm almost done.” His grunt was almost animal like and this time - maybe on purpose or maybe because he was being a bit sloppy with his work - his thumb did brush your clit.

“Law!” You screamed and squirmed and your legs clenched while you rode out your waves of pleasure.

God, nothing ever had felt quite like this. And this was the result of this man's blessed hands. You noticed that he was panting as well. A very deep blush was covering his cheeks, as were yours.

“I'm sorry…” You started, a bit ashamed now.

He inhaled and regained a bit of composure. “Don't ever say you're sorry about your pleasure. You and I both know you've suffered enough.”

You nodded while a lone tear traveled across your cheek.

“Your tattoo is gone now. Hopefully I was able to replace the awful memories associated with it.”

Your mirthful laugh made him lift his eyes to meet yours and he looked surprised. You realised that it was because this was the first time that you had actually laughed since boarding the Polar Tang. “Yes, you were.”

“Are you alright?” He asked, his cool demeanour almost back in place. You nodded softly and he hooked another fluid bag to your IV and told you to rest for a while.

His hand lingered on your arm, you noted.

And as you closed your eyes you couldn't help but think that you were alright indeed.

Albeit, perhaps a bit in love with Trafalgar Law.

#law x reader #trafalgar d law #trafalgar d water law #trafalgar d law x reader #one piece #one piece x reader #heart pirates

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milfsloverblog · 11 months

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Life Eternal (part 1)

Can you hear me say your name forever?

Larissa Weems x former student fem!reader

A/N: Sapphic Yearning at its finest. Don’t fall for your teachers, kids, it will ruin ya! Might be inspired by real events…Title from one of my favourite Ghost song, which you should really listen to if you want to get the full experience. Thinking of turning this into a multiple chapter fic, let me know! <3

ps: really want to insist on the fact that Larissa and reader’s relationship was platonic. Larissa was nothing more than a mentor to reader.

You had been staring at the letter on your lap for the past twenty minutes. Reading it again and again, as if you had not read it a hundred times since receiving it nearly two weeks ago.

“Dear Miss…” You sighed loudly and pushed the letter away, your eyes falling on the signature at the bottom of the page “Sincerely yours, Larissa Weems.”

You emptied the glass of wine you’d poured yourself hoping to find some courage in it. Of course, you were expecting the invite to arrive at some point, it always arrived around the end of May. At least it had for the past five years.

Class reunions. You hated the mere thought of it. Surely the ones that used to be popular loved those reunions, but you…No, you couldn’t bare the thought of seeing her, not after leaving the way you had.

Would she recognise you, you wondered as you threw your jacket on and took a last look in the mirror. You hadn’t changed much in five years and it seemed like she hadn’t forgotten about you. And you definitely hadn’t forgotten about her.

You didn’t even know what made you change your mind after five years of not attending. Perhaps it was the fact that the letter had been handwritten this time instead of typed, or maybe you had been hypnotised by the scent of her perfume that lingered in your room after you’d opened the envelope.

Now that you thought about it, moving out of Jericho had been both a blessing and a curse. You hadn’t moved very far, only a twenty minutes ride, but it was enough to ensure you wouldn’t accidentally stumble on her while doing your grocery shopping.

It was silly, that need you’d felt to run away from Larissa. You knew it was silly and yet you couldn’t help yourself. You couldn’t have kept acting like she meant nothing more to you than a mentor.

———

“Mom, please…” You had pleaded with your mother, refusing to get out of bed. “I’m telling you I can’t go. I feel too sick.”

It wasn’t a complete lie. You did feel sick, but not physically. Your illness was way more insidious than a simple stomachache or a common cold.

“Principal Weems will be so disappointed not to see you.” Your mother had said, standing with her hands on her hips. “I’m sure the poor woman has been impatiently waiting to see you graduate. And now you will let a little sickness take that away from her?”

She always found a way to rub salt into your wounds, even unknowingly. She had no idea. She had no idea that Larissa was the reason why you were refusing to get out of bed that morning.

“Please.” You had said again “Just go and get my diploma. Tell her I will visit whenever I can.”

Now that was a lie. You knew you would never visit Larissa again. You’d made up your mind a while ago already.

Your mother had eventually given up and attended your graduation ceremony alone. Principal Weems had been nothing but professional, your mom had told you, although she’d noticed that Larissa’s smile had seemed a bit forced when she had explained that you were sick and couldn’t be there to receive your diploma.

—————————

You were snapped out of your memory by a car loudly honking behind you, signaling that the light had been green for a few seconds now. How long had you been zoning out for? You hadn’t been to Nevermore in five years and yet it seemed like your brain still remembered the road as if you had left yesterday.

The car park was already nearly full when you arrived and there was no doubt you would be one of the last invitees to show up.

A shiver ran down your spine when you walked through the gate under the Nevermore sign and entered the yard. You couldn’t help but feel like you’d just walked into the lion’s den, that the trap was closing in on you.

Looking around at the people you recognised a few familiar faces, werewolves, sirens, and gorgons catching up together instead of segregating themselves like they used to.

Someone calling your name made you turn around, your eyes falling on a face you’d recognise anywhere.

“Enid!” Your lips immediately spread into a smile. She hadn’t changed at all, still that bubbly young woman dressed all in pink.

She pulled you in a tight hug and you grimaced a little, locking eyes with Wednesday who gave you a knowing look.

“So, you two…” You asked when Enid eventually let you go.

“Yes!” Enid answered excitedly as she wrapped her arm around Wednesday’s waist, a small blush creeping on the Addams’ cheeks.

And it made sense, you thought, that the gloomy girl would fall for the bubbly one. Isn’t that what had happened to you too, after all?

Enid excused herself, saying she was going to get some drinks for the three of you. A silence fell between Wednesday and you but it didn’t feel uncomfortable.

“I knew you would come someday. Enid kept saying we would never see you at a class reunion, but I knew you’d eventually come.” The Addams girl said. “We can’t run from our feelings forever, can we?”

Wednesday smirked devilishly when you looked at her with wide eyes. If she knew, if she had been able to realise, who else had?

Enid reappeared before you could say anything, handing you a cup of what looked like white wine.

“The handwritten invitation was a nice touch.” You said after taking a sip and letting out a small chuckle. “I do wonder where she found the time to handwrite so many invitations though.”

Enid frowned and looked at her girlfriend before looking back at you.

“You received a handwritten invitation?” She asked. “Because we only got the good old computer typed one…Why would she send you a hand-“ Wednesday gently put her hand on the blonde’s mouth and whispered something in her ear, which had Enid nodding and keeping quiet.

The crowd suddenly fell silent, and all eyes turned towards the entrance door from which Principal Weems had just walked out to step onto the podium.

She didn’t need a podium, she was already towering over everyone there but that’s simply how Larissa was. She wasn’t ashamed of who she was or how she looked, something she had desperately tried to teach you when the two of you were close.

“All your life there will be people trying to push you down.” You remembered her telling you, her fingers holding onto your chin to make sure you were looking at her. “And yes, it will hurt. You may cry if you need to, but you can never give up. And don’t you ever be ashamed of who you are. You are incredible, my darling, don’t you forget that.”

Larissa’s voice resonated through the yard, commanding everyone’s attention. With unwavering poise, she delivered her speech, thanking everyone for coming that day. Every eye in the crowd was fixated on her, hanging onto her words.

The principal’s smile widened a little when she noticed Enid and Wednesday, only to falter for a second when her blue eyes eventually locked with yours.

It felt like time had stopped. Like it was just the two of you and the others had ceased existing. It always felt that way with her. She would look into your eyes and make you feel like you were the most important person in the room.

There was a short pause in Larissa’s speech, so short in fact that you weren’t sure anyone else had even noticed. It only took a split second for the woman to pull herself back together and finish her speech, her eyes falling on you a few more times.

Larissa ended her speech by telling everyone to help themselves with the food and drinks and reminding them that Nevermore would always welcome them if needed.

You were out of the yard as soon as Larissa stepped down from the podium. You needed to get out of there before she decided to come and find you, because you knew she would.

Coming here today hadn’t been a good idea. You should have stayed at home and buried that damn invitation in the drawer of your desk as you had done with the past four ones.

You heard the familiar sound of heels approaching the alcove where you were hiding and barely looked up when the sound stopped right next to you.

“I knew I would find you here.” Larissa spoke softly.

Of course she did. You always used to hide here whenever you needed to be away from everything.

“Your mother said you would visit whenever you’d feel better…I’m glad you finally do” The tall woman added.

It didn’t sound like she was reproaching you, and when you looked up at her face and your eyes met her gentle ones, you knew she wasn’t. Larissa was simply stating a fact. You were here, and she was glad that you were.

She hadn’t changed at all, you thought as you quietly observed her face. You noticed that the lines at the corner of her eyes and around her lips had deepened. She was as beautiful as ever.

“It’s very good to see you, Principal Weems. Thank you for the invitation.” You wished you had the courage to use her name, to call her Larissa like she had allowed you to do when in private. But time had passed and you weren’t sure if you were still allowed to.

“Of course, I’m glad you joined us today. Will you follow me to my office? There’s something I’d like to show you.” The older woman said, not waiting for your answer before spinning around on her heels and walking away.

Stepping into the office felt stranger than you thought it would. You were almost immediately hit with a wave of memories. Sitting down on the sofa by the fireplace, reading a book while Larissa furiously typed some emails on her keyboard. Spending whole evenings debating on the most absurd subject either of you could think of.

You’d fallen asleep there one time when Larissa hadn’t noticed how late it was. You’d woken up the next day still on the sofa but with a blanket covering you and a pillow comfortably tucked under your head. God, you loved her.

“There it is!” Larissa said, pulling you out of your reverie.

She handed you a small rectangular red box tied with a ribbon. You read the tag that was hanging to the bow and felt your stomach drop. Congratulations, darling! You make me so proud. She had bought you a graduation gift and you hadn’t shown up. You didn’t deserve her.

“I kept it all those years. I was hoping that you would visit during the summer after your graduation.” Larissa explained “And when you didn’t…I suppose I kept hoping that you would someday.”

You couldn’t help but wonder if it had been as hard for her as it had been for you. Had she missed you like you had missed her?

You pulled on the ribbon and watched as the bow fell apart, your hands slightly shaking when you lifted the lid to reveal a pair of black leather gloves.

“You always said you loved mine, remember? The beige ones?” Larissa asked.

If you remembered? You couldn’t count how many times you’d watched Larissa put her gloves on, admiring the way her fingers flexed in the leather. You had dreamt of helping her take them off only to kiss her knuckles.

“Do you like them?” The woman whispered, unsure what your silence meant.

“I love them.” You answered almost immediately. I love you, you thought. “Thank you so much, Miss Weems, this means more than you could ever imagine.”

Larissa’s smile widened and her body slightly moved forward, panic rising in your chest when her arms moved from her sides and you realised she was about to embrace you.

Don’t, please don’t. Because if you do I will fall right back in love with you, and I’m not sure I will ever be able to let go again.

But you didn’t say anything. You let her wrap her arms around you and pull you close against her. And it felt so right. You hadn’t felt this alive in years, yet it killed you to know that this meant nothing more to her than a hug between two old friends.

“I’m sorry I didn’t visit you sooner.” You whispered as you embraced her. She still felt the same in your arms. She still smelled the same. She was still her.

“I know.” Larissa whispered back, her body gently swaying from side to side as she held you close.

You felt like you were eighteen again, sobbing in her arms after a particularly rough day. She had never let you down, not once had she refused to help you and you had run away without an explanation.

“Larissa…” You whispered, wanting to explain yourself furthermore, needing to tell her how stupid you had been.

“I know.” She repeated and your ear that was pressed against her chest caught her heart beating faster.

You weren’t sure what she knew exactly, but it didn’t matter. Not now. Not while she was holding you close and shielding you from the world. There would be plenty of time for explanations. But for now, it was just you and her, tightly embracing each other.

#gwendoline christie #larissa weems #larissa weems x reader #larissa weems x y/n #larissa x reader #principal weems #no beta we die like larissa #the yearning is exquisite

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pablitogaviobsessed · 9 months

Note

Hii! I was wondering if you could write this little story idea I had? It’s about Gavi’s childhood bestfriend, who he has always been in love with, and one day they get into a big fight and he accidentally confesses his feelings for her. Feel free to change anything about this if you like!

Ps.: I love your writing! Looking forward to reading what you’ll do with this idea!💗

I'll tell you quickly: Englishisnotmyfirstlanguagethanksforunderstanding<3

warnings: swearing

Accidental confess

You and Gavi were childhood best friends. Back then the two of you played a lot, especially football. Gavi has always admired you and thought you are pretty. He even told you this accidentaly when the two of you were kicking the ball.

Back then

"Y/N! Catch the ball!" he kicked the ball towards you but you weren't ready and it hit your face. You started to cry. "Y/N!!" he ran to you. "I'm so sorry I don't wanted to kick your pretty face." and he started to caress your face to make the pain go away.

Well actually it was a cute idea but didn't help too much.

And now here you are, arguing with him because he doesn't want you to go on that date.

-"Please, I'm begging you, don't go on that date. Pedri and the guys know him and he's just using girls for only a one night stand." Gavi was trying to convince you for now at least 30 minutes. You were talking with this guy for a few weeks and he doesn't seem that kind of person to you.

"Pablo, we aren't kids anymore, you don't have to protect me I can make my own decisions. And anyway why do you even care about MY dates when you have tons of girls to choose? I think you should be worried about your love life." you were a bit jerk with Gavi. You didn't even understand why doesn't he dating any of those girls.

"I AM worried about my love life." he walked closer to you. "Look Y/N. Please, don't go." he puts his hands on your shoulders. "I just want the best for you and that guy won't give you any love. Please, cancelle it." he was now a bit more calm than earlier but you swept his hands off and turned around.

"I don't care about your opinion. I want to go on that date and I will go on that date." you said while you were walking towards the door.

"At least please change your clothes to something less revealing!" he grabbed your wrist.

"Oh so now you're saying I'm dressing like a whore?" you shouted at him.

"I'm not saying that, you're not a whore at all." he denied your statement.

"But you just said to me." you take off his hand.

"But you're still not a whore Y/N! Fuck! Why can't you just listen to me? I don't want you to go on that date because the guy is an asshole and he will hurt you for sure. I know him, Pedri knows him, Balde knows him even Ansu knows him and we all know that he is a fucking piece of shit. I want to protect you from him." he's got really angry at you. "I don't care, you're not going anywhere."

"Excuse me? Who the hell are you to tell me what to do?" you shouted at him again but now you were really angry. He should support you not being against you.

"I'm your childhood best friend and I'm the only one who know what you need and what you deserve." he walked to the door and locked it.

"Pablo what the he-" you started but he interupted you.

"Y/N shut up! I know that guy will hurt you and that's a fact." he put the keys into his pocket.

"Jesus, why are you even care so much about this date? Its not even yours." you crossed your hands in front of your chest.

"Because I love you, you idiot. I don't want to see you crying because of that dickhead and saying "I've told you". I just want the best for you and I want you to be loved not just used for a night. You don't deserve just a fun night, you deserve someone who will loves you for the rest of your life and be there for you no matter what. Someone who will treat you like a princess and gives you everything you want and I can do those thing for you." he told you but he didn't even realize what he said.

"You love me?" you asked him back, completely shocked.

"What?" he looked at you, confused.

"You just said you care about this date so much because you love me." he immediately blushed when you repeated his words.

"You know what, drop it. You can go if you want to. Feel free to do whatever you want to do." Pablo walked back to the door. "There you go." he opened the door. "Have a good date Y/N." he felt so horrible right now. He felt like he messed up his friendship with you. He shouldn't told you this. "Even if I accidentaly confessed to you it's not gonna change the fact that you're want to go on this date and you even like this guy. Then go. Call me if something bad happens." you walked to the door but you didn't go outside. You closed the door. Gavi gave you a confused look. "Now you don't want to go?" he asked with a little hope in his eyes.

"Look I need to be honest with you after this." you looked into his eyes. "I was in love with you and I think I'm still in love with you." you started to take off your earrings. "But you never gave me any signs of loving me back and since you're famous and all of the girls started to fall in love with you I didn't even think I have a chance with you anymore." you took off your shoes as well. "I just wanted to get rid of the fact that you're not interested in me, so I decided to distract myself with somebody else. But now I see it's a fucking bad idea." you walked closer to Gavi and gave him a hug. You felt his heart was racing like yours. "I don't want to go on that date. Now I know you love me and that's all that I need. I want to be with you tonight." he pulled away from the hug.

"Are you serious?" he wanted to stay calm but you saw his smile is growing.

"Yes, I'm serious. I want to spend this night with you." he was so happy right now, he couldn't hold back his smile anymore. "So, what about we stay at home and watch a movie? As a date."

"I would be the happiest in the world if we were do this." he tucked a piece of your hair behind your ears.

"Then it's settled." you gave him a quick kiss on his cheek. "I'm gonna change my dress for something comfortable, until you can choose a movie." you were about to go back to your room when he grabbed your wrist.

"Wait, I have something to do." he pulled you closer to him, grabbed your face and kissed your lips. When the two of you pulled away both of you were a blushing mess. "Now you can go."

"Thank you for letting me change." you laughed and walked back to you room to change your clothes. When you were finished you went to the living room and saw that Pablo already chose a movie. He even made popcorn.

"Are you ready?" he asked while you sit down next to him and cuddled him.

"I'm always ready to watch a movie." you said and he pressed the play button.

During the movie

"You know what I'm thinking about?" he looked at you.

"Are you even paying attention to the movie?" you asked him with your mouth filled with popcorn.

"I am but you know what I'm thinking about? you shook your head. "That I'm so lucky. I was the only one who saw you in that dress and even kissed you. I don't even know why did you think I would like those girls. You're much more beautiful then them" you blushed and turn your head back to the TV screen. "Looks like someone is blushing." he was about to kiss you but you turned his head back to the movie. He was a bit sad and you noticed it. His sad eyes was your weakness. You gave in so you turned back his head and gave him a quick kiss on his lips.

"Now really watch the movie." you said not knowing the consiquences of your action. He said a simple "no", stopped the movie and start to kiss you more and more.

"Only if you knew how much I waited for this. I'm not gonna watch that movie when I can kiss you all night." he grabbed your hands and start to kiss you again.

Well, let's say the movie stayed unfinished because Gavi was busy kissing your lips the whole night.

#gavi x you #gavi x yn #gavi #footballer x you #footballer x reader #footballer x y/n #fc barcelona #fc barca #fc barça #6avi #pablo gavi x y/n #pablo gavi x you #pablo gavi x reader #pablo gavi

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octopotto · 1 year

Text

Yandere! Cloud Strife Childhood Headcanons (+ lil’ blurb)

OCTO NOTE:

*Seeing barely any yan cloud strife content*

Me: Fine… I’ll do it myself

Warnings: NOT PROOF READ, Mentions of: child injuries, self-dout, depression, and violence, Out of Character madness (even for yandere standards), Unhealthy behaviours, Yandere but not extreme but still—, Possessiveness, Kid Cloud is crazy protective, some stuff is inaccurate bc I’m writing this by memory.

**Will CONTAIN SPOILERS for the following: FF7 (original), FF7 Remake (2020).

REMINDER: Yandere behaviour of any kind is unhealthy behaviour. It should not be something to seek out for in real life. If you are experiencing any sort of inappropriate behaviour, please contact help/seek out help.

**The reader will ALWAYS be Gender-Neutral!

THIS IS STRICTLY PLATONIC BC FOR ME WRITING CHILDREN IN LOVE IS WEIRD AND I CAN'T SORRY.

ps: first fic!

———————————-••———————————

- Due to Clouds insecurities developing at a young age, he most likely won’t approach you first. You would either have to be the one initiating the conversation or Tifa has to introduce you two.

- Either way, it’s super awkward for the both of you.

- Lil’ boy is bitter because no one wanted to be his friend but here you are lol

- I think the best way to get Cloud to open up is for you to keep talking to him or approaching him first

- I believe that it’s those efforts that will help Cloud realize how much you genuinely want to become friends/closer with him.

- It will help him get out of his shell.

- Honestly, getting him to initiate the conversation FIRST is a HUGE development in y’all’s relationship.

- Kid Cloud: *Approaches you first* “Hi…”

- Kid You: 😧😧 —> 😃😭🥰

- It will probably be like that for a while, but it will do!

- It’s kind of his way of showing that he also now wants to become closer with you.

- But once you guys finally get out of the ‘awkward’ phase, Cloud will slowly start to become attached to you.

- He’s now more confident in expressing himself and approaching you.

- He even tried to hold your hand a few times because he saw you hold Tifas hand when playing

- At one point, you even made Cloud and yourself friendship bracelets.

- “It a symbol of how much we care for each other!” You expressed to Cloud.

- He never once took off that bracelet. It was probably the first time he received something that wasn’t from his mother.

- You would always see him with it on. Even if you guys got into a fight.

- But when time passed, he started to get clingy

- No like

- REALLY CLINGY

- It’s to the point where you guys arrive to your house and you walk in to call it a night, HE ALSO starts to walk into the house.

- Kid You: *Confused as to why Cloud is taking off his shoes in your house after waving goodbye*

- Kid Cloud: *Literally just inviting himself in because wherever you go, HE GOES*

- I feel like his mother would look over this behaviour.

- Remember, Cloud never had any friends or anyone to talk to.

- So his mother was actually over the moon when he finally has someone who cares for him.

- She would probably chalk it up as him just being excited to have a friend.

- Your own guardian/parents wouldn’t mind as well as much

- They don’t really like the other kids as much (besides Tifa), so they were also happy that you made a new friend (despite again, being very clingy to you)

- Another mouth to feed too since he likes staying over.

- Cloud doesn’t understand these emotions but he does understand that he cherishes you and wants to be around you more often.

‘Kay enough with the slow-burn, time for the angst! :D

- If you played the original FF7 or watched it, yknow what’s coming up.

- Tifa’s mother died when she was young and thought she could reach her if she climbed up Mt. Nibel.

- You and Cloud followed her as you two were concerned for Tifa.

- Up in the mountains, you were fortunate to push Tifa and Cloud away before the bridge fell.

- The consequence? Yourself

- You fell down the bridge in place of both Tifa and Cloud.

- While falling, you heard the most blood-curdling scream you ever heard from both Cloud and Tifa.

- Thankfully, you survived the fall.

- But you still suffered major injuries and was unconscious for several days.

- Which resulted you from going outside.

- This deeply affected Cloud so much. His one and only friend, the one person he care for so much that he would do anything to prove it to you.

- It didn’t help that almost everyone in the town blamed HIM for what happened.

- Even with Tifa’s protests and defending Cloud’s innocence, no one listened.

- IMAGINE BLAMING A CHILD

- Your guardian reassured him and Tifa that it wasn’t their fault, that you wouldn’t want them to feel bad.

- But even with all of the reassurance from your guardian and Tifa, Cloud couldn’t stop the guilt and despair that kept clawing within him.

- Thus, he started believing the blame that people keep telling him, blaming himself that he was the reason why you’re in terrible state right now.

- With you being unconscious and not being able to go out, Cloud started to keep to himself again.

- If he wasn’t staying by your side to see if you would wake up, he was in his bed.

- Just laying in there, surrounded by his thoughts and guilt.

- Why do anything if everything that happened was his fault?

- Why go out if you weren’t there with him?

- He believes that he ruined the one good thing in his life.

- When you finally woke up, Cloud never ran so fast to your house.

- Even forgot to knock, just kept jiggling the door handle until your guardian unlocked it.

- He quickly into went to your room

- And when he got there, it was like he finally woke up from his nightmare.

- Because there you were, alive.

- Quickly went up to you and hugged you so tight that you thought you couldn’t breathe for a second.

- You couldn’t process what was happening until you felt something wet on your shoulder.

- Cloud was crying. He was so relieved, so relieved to see you awake.

- He didn’t know what to say, all he could say was incoherent mumbles.

- “Im so sorry… I’m so glad you’re here with me” Is what Cloud could say.

- Once you were able to process what was happening, all you did was hug him back just as tightly, not even caring if your arms were still sore. You weren't sure as to why Cloud was saying sorry for, but you began crying as well.

- “I’m glad you’re here with me as well,” You said back.

- All Cloud did was hug you even tighter.

- All throughout your recovery, Cloud was there by your side 24/7.

- If you needed anything, Cloud the Delivery Boy was on the run! 👀👀👀👀

- Made sure to hold your hand extra tight in order for you to not fall.

- If y’all were going outside for a walk, IT WILL ONLY BE ON FLAT GROUND.

- No hills, no bumps, no nothing

- He can’t risk you hurting yourself again because of himself.

- He also tried to carry you

- Never again lol

- Also super protective

- Wouldn’t even let Tifa near you when she wanted to see you again.

- Tifa was so mad he didn’t let her hang out with you. She was your friend too!!

- Kid Cloud: *Puts arm out to create a barrier between you guys and Tifa*

- “No 😡😡😡😡😡”

- Kid Tifa: 🙁🙁🙁

- Tifa On the inside: 🤬🤬🤬

- yan! tifa lockhart hcs??👀👀👀

- After what happened to you, Cloud swore to himself that he will be the one to protect you from any harm. Even as you guys grew older, he always protected you.

- He wants to always be by your side.

- He doesn’t want to leave you alone from now on.

- Because it might make his nightmares come true once more: You leaving him.

-----------------

But what happens a few years later when he decides to leave for SOLIDER?

~~~~~

It was late at night and Cloud left a note for you, asking to meet him at the water tower.

It wasn’t unusual for Cloud to ask this because you guys usually hang out whenever one of you feels like it. As you kept walking to the tower, you can’t help but have a strange feeling as to why Cloud didn’t specify why he wanted to talk to you.

Once you got to the top of the tower, you see Cloud sitting on edge of the platform. It seemed like he was lost in thought, like he was still figuring out what to say. You smiled, always finding his thinking-face to be so cute. You finally approached him and tapped on on the shoulder. He flinched, he didn’t even hear you walk up.

“Hey” You greeted Cloud while sitting down.

Cloud nodded his head at you and looked backed out on the ground below him.

Your eyebrows furred together. Again, the same feeling when you were walking to the tower came back and sense that something was wrong with Cloud.

“You said you wanted to speak to me?” You questioned as you continued to observe Cloud’s facial expressions. It took some time for him to say something, but when he did, it almost disappointed you.

“When spring comes, I’m leaving town and going to Midgard.” He stated while not looking at you.

You frowned. You knew this day would come.

You hummed at Cloud’s response. “Not surprised… every guy here is leaving for work, even Tifa’s friends are leaving too..” You quietly said, still sad that Cloud was leaving you. Cloud jumped at the tone of you voice, quickly turning his head in order to face you.

“B-But— I’m not like them!” Cloud exclaimed, worried that you thought he wanted to leave you. Never.

“I’m not just going into the city just to look for a job… I’m going to become a SOLDIER. Like Sephiroth” Cloud continued as he confessed.

“The legendary war-hero huh…” You said quietly.

You heard stories from some the guys around town talk about how they would leave town to either look for work or join a military program named ‘SOLDIER’. It’s been something that a lot of kids dream of when growing up, and Cloud was apparently not an exception.

You knew it was selfish of you to wished that Cloud wouldn’t leave town for the program. But he’s your best friend. It‘ll be painful for you to see him move far away for a long time, in a completely different city.

You guys stayed silent for a few minutes until scooted closer to Cloud. He looked at you surprised.

“Okay…then promise me this” You said to him. “When we’re older and you become a famous war hero and come back to visit… you’ll take me with you on your missions.” You said as you had this serious look in your eyes. If Cloud was going to be able to go cool and interesting adventures, you wanna come with.

“H-huh—?!”

“You’ll be like my guide or something!” You laughed at Clouds reaction.

“It will be dangerous for you!” Cloud exclaimed.

“Nu-uh! Tifa’s father has been teaching me some moves lately! At this rate, I’m going to be even stronger than Sephiroth and become SOLDIER” You proudly said as you flexed your non-existenting muscles.

“Plus..” You started. “Since you’re gonna become a SOLDIER, you’re going to be able to protect me. I know you will. You know I trust you with my life!” You continued as you smiled at him.

Cloud gasped at your statement as his eyes widen in shock.

You trusted him.

You wanted him to save you.

You wanted him as your protector.

You wanted him.

You felt your checks warm up in embarrassment as you realized what you said to him. You then grabbed Cloud into a tight hug.

You felt Cloud slowly hug you back.

"Y’know, I'm glad I met you, Cloud" You whispered to Cloud, hugging him even tighter. He also hugs you closer.

You guys just stayed like that while looking at the stars above.

All Cloud wants is to become strong enough to protect you. Since he saw how much Sephiroth has done to protect other people and cities in the papers, he knew that he had to join. To become stronger, to be able to become the best version of himself, for you to see that the only person that you could come to for protection and rescuing, will be him. He will become your protector.

He swore to himself ever since you got injured because to his carelessness.

‘Y/n…You have no idea what lengths I would go through just to keep you safe.’

———————————-••———————————

OCTO NOTE: This was supposed to be general headcanons but I went overboard (clearly lol). So most likely this will become a series.

This is my first ever fic that I’ve written for Tumblr as well as for Final Fantasy 7, so I deeply apologize if anything is inaccurate :((

Hoped you enjoyed these hcs! Again, Cloud gets no love in the yandere fic community so why not I just write some lmaoo

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scmg11 · 2 years

Text

KATE BISHOP x READER

THE WORLD’S GREATEST ARCHER (PART 2)

A/N: HELLO PEOPLE! Here's part 2 of a fic that is quickly becoming one of my favorites to write! I hope you'll like it! Let me know what you guys think!

PS: did you watch Doctor Strange Into The Multiverse Of Madness? How are we feeling?

Sending love to all of you! ❤️

Summary: Kate asks if Y/N can really read minds and Wanda makes fun of Y/N in front of Kate.

Warnings: none.

Word count: 3057 words.

"Kate stop staring at me like that." Y/N murmured without moving her eyes up from the table as she tied up her living room from the supplies they used to patch each other up, amusement clear in her voice at the black haired girl who hadn’t taken her wonderful blue eyes off of her since Clint left, about 5 minutes ago.

"I’m sorry! I just can’t help it!" Kate excitedly settled beside the Y/H/C girl and grasped her arm to get her attention, her thumb caressing softly her bicep, "c’mon, tell me what I am thinking!"

"That it’s so cool that I can read minds." Y/N answered nonchalantly and lifted her eyes up to finally meet Kate’s blue, thrilled ones, that instantly widened in surprise as soon as those words left Y/N’s mouth.

"NO WAY! YOU CAN REALLY READ MINDS!" Kate slammed her hands on the wooden surface of the table, enthusiasm spilling out of every pore of her body as she grinned a brighter-than-the-sun smile up at the young witch.

Y/N shook her head amused and smiled sweetly at the archer, her clear happiness contagious enough causing her to grin back fondly, "I actually didn’t need to look into your mind to know what you were thinking, it’s written all over your face." Kate’s face fell at the girl’s declaration and whined in protest, sauntering towards the Y/H/C girl that walked to the other side of the table to grab the hydrogen peroxide bottle and stash it away in a medicine cabinet, to grasp her shoulders softly and grab her attention, not noticing the shivers Y/N tried to suppress unsuccessfully at the contact, as she pouted cutely up at her.

"Please! Tell me any thought running into my mind right now! I want to see your cool power with my own eyes!" Kate betted her eyelashes in a pleading look causing Y/N to sigh out softly, already relenting at the puppy dog eyes she was gazing into.

"Fine, do you give me your consent to read your mind?"

"Yes, of course. I’m asking it." Kate answered earnestly and nodded at the girl, giving her an encouraging grin.

"I just wanted to check in, since I was forced to read into people’s mind to gain classified informations and I don’t want to do that ever again." Kate smiled in sympathy at the girl’s explanation of just a little part of her rough past and squeezed her shoulders comfortingly, silently telling her it was okay and that she could proceed, hoping with all her heart that one day Y/N would trust her enough to open up and tell her what happened in her past, wanting at all costs to know everything that made Y/N being the amazing human being that she was and feeling an impending need to protect her at all costs, but not dwelling on that sensation too much and focusing on the beautiful girl she had in front of her blue eyes.

"Okay…" Y/N closed her eyes for a couple of seconds to take a deep breath before opening them and staring into Kate’s wonderful, intoxicating orbs, "you once broke your arm by swinging on the chandelier in your living room. A really nice and fancy one I might add." Y/N spoke up softly after her irises shined in a blue mist and the astonished look the archer gave her after she recalled one of her childhood memories, made a soft snort to roll out of her throat in delight.

"Holy shit you can really read minds!" Kate’s wide eyes were literally glistening with excitement as she let her mind wrap around this new piece of information about Y/N’s powers. "That’s so cool! Do it again, please."

"Uh-uh, it’s late and you had a rough night. You should get some sleep." Y/N shook her head at the archer’s eagerness and turned her around, hurring her away from the table in the living room to make her walk towards the bedroom area, but the girl halted them both a few seconds later as she fought against Y/N’s pushes and turned around to face her.

"Please, just one more." Kate pulled her big doe eyes again to corrupt Y/N, already knowing the girl would relent with her irresistible pleading face that made her gain a lot of things in her favor in the past.

"Okay, you need to stop. You’re taking the dog’s place for being the cutest one here. How do people even say no to that?" Y/N waved her hand towards Kate’s pouty face and groaned in frustration for being literally putty in the archer’s hands.

Kate shrugged smugly with a face that clearly told Y/N she knew the effect her pleading face had on people, her suspicions confirmed a second later when the black haired girl murmured with a satisfied, smug grin, "they never do."

Y/N rolled her eyes half-heartedly as she sighed purposefully out loud for a more dramatic effect, before staring into Kate’s deep blue eyes once again, this time taking her time to appreciate her beautiful features and the perfect shade of her irises before focusing her attention on the task at hand, searching for a memory or thought running around that beautiful mind. "Oh what do we have here? A drunk Kate enjoying a party as she danced with a cute blonde. Oh wait you just tripped-"

"Okay! That’s enough. I don’t need to recall that embarrassing moment."

"But I was having fun." Y/N pouted as her eyes turned back into their Y/E/C shade and glistened with glee at the clearly flushed state she seemed to have put the archer in.

"It’s time to sleep! Tomorrow is a big day!" Kate nodded in resolution and Y/N chuckled softly at the black haired girl dodging her teasing.

"Okay, Casanova. But we’re definitely talking about your flirting skills while drunk tomorrow." Y/N threw over her shoulder at the blue eyed girl as she started to walk towards the couch, gladly taking the comfy lounge to let Kate, after a lot of protests coming from her, to sleep on her bed, and laughing loudly when Kate groaned loudly and murmured ‘Goodnight’ as she walked into the bedroom.

The morning after Y/N woke up with her phone buzzing on the coffee table beside her, arousing her from her deep sleep and instantly regretting going to sleep so late last night. She groaned at the unwanted awakening and rummaged with her arm around the table in search of her phone with her eyes still closed. "Hello?"

"Good morning, sweety! Did I wake you?"

"Hey mom! You did, yeah, but don’t worry. It was time to wake up anyway."

"Why were you still sleeping, isn’t around 11 a.m. there? You never sleep so late."

Y/N groaned loudly and put the phone on speaker and she laid it on her chest to rub at her sleepy eyes and stretch her sore muscles out for sleeping in the same position for too long. "I went to bed around 3 a.m. last night." Y/N admitted in a gentle voice as she yawned, trying to not make too much noise to not wake the black haired girl up in the other room.

"Why so late? Is everything okay?" Y/N smiled warmly at the worry clear in her mother’s tone and shook her head fondly, missing her mom a lot.

"Yes. I just- it’s a really long and funny story, but to cut it short, I ran into Clint last night."

"Oh that’s wonderful! I miss him so much! How is he?"

"He misses you too mom. He is doing good, I think." They let silence take over as Y/N sat up from the couch and walked over the coffee machine, needing caffeine to start her day.

"I really hope you stayed up that late with him to catch up and not because you two got into some kind of trouble." Y/N didn’t answer her, not really wanting to lie to her mother but not wanting to tell her what happened last night either, she just let a crooked smile appear on her face even if her mother couldn’t see her guilty expression. She focused her attention at the freshly made coffee coming out of the coffee machine and right then, Kate decided to walk into the room, looking cuter as ever as she rubbed her eyes and yawned softly. Y/N felt her breath catch in her throat and her heart stop for a second when her eyes take the archer’s clothes in. Last night Y/N let Kate borrow some of her clothes to sleep in and she must admit the blue eyed girl looked hot in them. And cute. And beautiful. Y/N didn’t have enough time to fantasize about Kate wearing her clothes under different circumstances, because the reprimanding tone of her mother interrupted her brain from spiraling out of control, "Y/N Y/S/N Y/L/N. I didn’t let you live in New York alone to get yourself in trouble. And certainly not with Clint. He has a soft spot for you and you clearly use it to your advantage."

"Mom I’m being safe. I’m just-" Y/N stared at Kate, who was now sporting a shocked but excited expression when she recognized the voice coming from Y/N’s phone, her eyes widening comically at her new realization and for being in the presence - well not physically but y’know - of Wanda Maximoff. Y/N wanted to laugh at the funny face Kate had on, but instead sighed out at her mother’s reprimand, "doing what I feel is right." Y/N met Kate’s gaze, the girl now sporting a sheepish smile as she tapped nervously on the kitchen counter, involuntarily listening to Y/N’s conversation to her mother, becoming unintentionally the subject of the conversation.

"I know baby. You have a big heart, and that’s what I love about you the most."

"And because I’m awesome." Y/N quipped to light up the mood and winked towards Kate’s direction, watching her shake her head fondly and laugh under her breath, that soft sound instantly putting a big smile on Y/N’s face, that intensified when she heard her mother laugh at her joke too.

"And humble." Wanda trailed off, waiting a few seconds before adding, "be careful. That’s all I’m asking."

"I will mom. I promise."

"Now, tell me what happened."

"Uhm, it’s a long story and Clint is coming here to meet up. I’ll tell you about it later okay?" Y/N scratched the back of her head as she broke the staring contest she was having with Kate, who was still looking at her with that cute, soft look on her still sleepy features. She really looks good in my clothes, damn.

"Okay young lady. Go do your thing and remember, when you think it’s a good idea, that’s a big no." Y/N and Kate looked into each other eyes in amusement and snorted softly at Wanda’s words.

"Noted. I’ll talk to you later mom. Bye, love you."

"Love you too, sweetheart."

"And that, ladies and gentlemen was my mother making fun of me!" Y/N placed her phone on the kitchen counter and poured a cup of coffee for herself and for Kate, passing one to her as she laughed softly at the cute exchange she just witnessed.

"She is so sweet tho! I have to admit I was a little bit freaking out. I mean, that was Wanda Maximoff! She is so cool!" Kate waved her left hand around excitedly before taking a gulp of the freshly made coffee, closing her eyes and humming softly as she let the welcomed buzz wake her body, still in a sleep haze, up.

"Hey I’m cool too." Y/N countered back feigning being offended and crossed her arms for good measure, her eyebrows creasing heavily as a pout slipped on her lips.

"Eh, debatable." Kate waved her off with a shrug of her shoulders, cracking her serious face with a laugh when Y/N’s jaw literally fell on the floor indignantly.

"Uhm- excuse me! I almost defeated Thanos, all alone!" Y/N reasoned, not really sure why she wanted to look cool in Kate’s eyes - her subconscious totally knew why - but she tried nonetheless, opening her mouth to plead her case some more when the archer laughed out loud, but a loud knock interrupted her. She used her powers to check it was Clint knocking on the door, before opening it with a flick of her fingers.

"Good morning." He grunted lowly as he walked in and locked the door, both girls saying it back with big smiles as they sipped on their coffee simultaneously, before staring confused at them still in their pj’s, "why aren’t you ready yet? My kids’ flight is in three hours."

"Oh we just woke up. Want a cup of coffee, grumpy dinosaur?"

"Ha ha ha. Very funny." Clint rolled his eyes with a small smile curling around his lips as he accepted the cup of coffee and sighed happily at the hot beverage warming him up from the New York cold. "Now, go get ready. We’re leaving in 30."

"So what’s the lead?" Y/N asked as they walked down New York’s streets to meet Clint’s kids before their flight.

"Never heard about NYC Larpers?" When both girls shook their heads puzzled, he explained further. "Their like a- gild."

"I’m still confused." Kate spoke up bemused and Y/N nodded alongside her, still clueless about Clint’s lead.

"You’ll see when we get there. They are meeting in Central Park right now." Clint trailed off a few seconds, staring ahead of him before speaking up again, "even if someone should have stayed home."

"Oh don’t be cranky! Walking and taking some fresh air is good for your health." Y/N reasoned as she patted his back softly, causing a smile to flit over his lips at her joke. Y/N knew Clint was talking about Kate and she also noticed the girl looking down guiltily at the mess she put him through, but Y/N knew Kate’s actions were pure. She could see she really wanted to do good. And Y/N saw herself in her. That’s why she decided to crack a joke. Yup, that was the only reason.

"Your capability of finding a way to tease me every single time, still amazes me." They both share a quick laugh as Kate stared at them fondly at the special bond they share. "But I was talking about the five years old children who got into this mess last night."

"Hey, I’m 22!"

"Yeah same thing." Y/N slapped Clint’s head softly in reprimand.

"I’m 22 too and I’ve been an Avenger since I was 17!"

When Clint didn’t find enough arguments to counter the Y/H/C girl’s words back, he just sighed out dejected and kept walking, his hotel room a block away from them.

Silence wrapped around them comfortingly, Y/N feeling a buzz spreading throughout her body every time the archer bumped her shoulder on hers as the walked side by side and forced all these reactions to the back of her mind for now. "Guys I’m just gonna stay here and let you two talk to the kids, I don’t wanna intrude." Y/N really wanted to counter back the blue eyed beauty’s statement, but she knew how hard it will be for Clint to send home his kids knowing he has to stay here a while longer, so she just nodded alongside Clint and both walked towards the hotel stairs, where Cooper, Lila and Nate were patiently waiting as a footman stashed their bags into the black car’s truck.

"Y/N!" Nate was the first one to notice the girl walking beside his dad and immediately leaped into her arms, letting Y/N lift him up and turning them around contentedly, loud and happy laughs leaving both of their lips.

"Oh my God! You’re so grown up young boy! I missed you so much."

"Y/N!"

"Hey Cooper! Look at you! LILA!" Y/N felt a rush of comfort invading her body as she hugged the three Barton kids tight. "I missed you guys so much!"

"We missed you too! You promised you’d have come visit us." Lila murmured dejected into her shoulder and she hugged the three of them closer.

"I know. I’m sorry. I’ve been- busy." Y/N drawled the last word as she stared into Clint’s eyes, who stared at her with a sad expression and nodding in encouragement. "But I run into your father last night and when he told me he was here with you guys I immediately asked him to take me to you to say hi."

Clint stared fondly at his kids still hugging Y/N tightly for a few more seconds before his eyes casted over the black haired girl hid behind a car witnessing their moment and sighed out loud, "c’mon kids. You need to go to the airport! Your mom will be there when you’ll land."

Y/N said goodbye to Cooper and put Nate into his seat before turning around to hug Lila but stopped in her tracks when she stared at the two of them in worry. "Is this about that ninja?"

They both looked at each other quickly and shook their heads reassuringly. Clint was the first one to speak up, reassuring her daughter with a gentle, loving smile, "no, it’s not about the ninja."

"I just need your father to help me with something really important. I just need him for a couple of more days. Then it’s all yours!"

"Promise me you’ll be home for Christmas." Lila spoke up and stared into her father’s eyes deeply, hope swirling in her eyes.

Y/N saw Clint esitate a bit at her daughter’s words and didn’t need to read his mind to know he was worried about breaking his promise, but he reassured her anyway before hugging her tightly, helping her get in the vehicle before closing the door and letting the car drive away. They both stared at the car until it was out of sight as Kate walked towards them and smiled sheepishly at the two Avengers. "Shall we go?"

"Yes! I now desperately want to know who these Larpers are!" Y/N answered Clint’s question and both girls followed him leading the way as he shook his head in amusement at the two squeals of excitement coming from Y/N and Kate.

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s0ftl3 · 4 months

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hey i don’t mean to be an asshole or anything, but i noticed something about your fics. please keep in mind that i’ve enjoyed everything you’ve written on this blog. they’re wonderfully written, incredibly inspired, and all around a pleasure to indulge in. however, you might want to focus on comma placement.

comma misplacement can be distractive from the subject or message of the sentence. i noticed you sometimes break up clauses that don’t need to be broken up or could be replaced by a period entirely. it’s nothing terrible nor any reason to doubt your abilities. you are a talented writer regardless. maybe just take heed of that the next time you write. i wanted to let you know for future reference and because i think it’d help you grow :)

(ps. this might be my english major brain talking, so if this is too nit-picky, feel free to disregard this ask! i am a stranger on the internet after all, and my opinions on your work should NOT dictate how YOU feel about it. cheers!)

Ahh ok ty for this actually I’m not the best at like grammar so I try my best. Apologies for making my work hard to read sometimes. Not to make YOU feel bad but i am autistic and have adhd, and remember being in my language arts class in elementary school (yk where you learn the basic stuff like that) and when i was in those classes i just did not have the attention span for it. So when i went to middle school and above i had to play some serious catch up (seriously I didn’t even know what consonants were and one of my best friends at the time harped on me horribly for it ) with that and i think the real problem there is no one really cared to properly teach me that kind of stuff so most of what i do know is the bit ive managed to retain in those classes.

Granted I’m sure if I really super tried I could’ve focused or asked for help in those areas but at the time I was like it’s whatever I’ll figure it out. I’d like to think for the most part I have but I’m happy to keep learning how I can improve my writing thank you for this note I really appreciate it!

#cole answers

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jimimn · 1 year

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I'll try to keep this short ❤️ I love this album so much 🥺 And I think I told you that Alone would destroy me and it really did... And it's also my favorite from the album. I can't really explain what I feel when I listen to it, but I always have this tightness in my chest. I had it when I first listened to it and I had a feeling the lyrics would make me cry and they did. It really brings me back to my quarantine days... and not to the better ones. It really has that choking, depressing feeling that quarantine had. I really love his singing in the song too 🥺 He sounds amazing, so gentle, so soft, and yet very strong (I'm literally contradicting myself but anyway)

I really liked Like Crazy too. The mv was amazing, and I read so many theories. Most of them were kinda the same, you know with the woman also representing him. Both the English and Korean versions were done so well 🥺 interlude: dive ❤️ his introduction from the busan concert❤️ oh, and the transition between the songs? Him having a drink at the end of dive, and then like crazy having this "being intoxicated in a club" vibe, and alone starting with an alarm clock... I'm obsessed with this. Also I'm SO SAD letter is only on CD 😭😭 Like I understand why, but Jimin 😭 It's my second favorite from the album, and after listening and crying to Alone, I cried to Letter too 💔 The parallels with blue & grey 😭 Shivi, the urge to get a lyric tattoo from alone or letter 😭

Also I still don't know if he's singing "please me" during Like Crazy and we will never know and it will bother me forever 😂 But anyway. He did such an amazing job, I'm so happy he could finally release this album. And I'm so happy he said he got to overcome and heal from these feelings.

Ps. Let Jimin curse on TV okay thanks that's all ❤️ -🦋

putting it under read more bc i rambled lol <3

i love it so much too 🥺 oh and same, alone took me back to my own quarantine days 😭 i was stuck at a relative's place for three months and my aunt wasn't very good to me. i used to cry alone a lot and that was when i had found bangtan :( they really saved me :( and alone took me back to all of those feelings i went through back then before I found bangtan 😭 everyone's stories are so different but im sure so many people related to alone 🥺 (and no i get what you mean by gentle and soft yet so strong, and i agree) i absolutely LOVED face off too. his voice in face off his so addicting and those high notes damn 😭

and like crazy is a fckin bop ✋🏼 RIIIIGHHTTTT i loved the mv too the colours in the mv .. *chef's kiss* (this is me speaking from a gifmaker perspective btw, i thought the mv would be impossible to colour properly but I had so much fun colouring it and I was satisfied w the results gdhfhdjhfdj ANYWAY thats not the point fghdjfhj) AND PLS TEH THEORIES. SO GENIUS. AND THEY MAKE COMPLETE SENSE TOO. yes yes yes you're so right the transition and connection between the songs truly genius 😭😭😭😭 ALSO LETTER!!!!!!!! YES !!!!!!!!!!!!! im obsessed please it is SUCHHHHH a beautiful song 😭😭😭😭 i cried to letter too 😭 its my new song that i fall asleep to 😭 it was with you before this hdjhfjd. its so beautiful and jikook's voices go so well together and they sound so beautiful 😭 and god it being a hidden track and starting at 6:13 of like crazy english version on the cd just .. it just feels sooooo personal and full of love 😭😭😭 i really wish it was on spotify too but I downloaded the song and added it to my playlists through local files thing on spotify 💖 omgomgomg anon you should definitely get the tattoo!!!! <333

i will believe it is "please me" and run with it 🧘🏼‍♀️ and me too 🥺 the album is so so good im so proud of him 🥺 right, im happy this album helped him to let go of those feelings 🥺

pls you know when they reviewed face off alone and like crazy three days ago and said face off wasn't eligible (?) i thought they totally dropped smf from music shows bc 1. they didn't review it along w the other songs 2. and i thought maybe they didn't review it bc it was already known that it has cussing and i got SO SAD that they wouldn't perform smf 😭 and i was confused too bc bighit did say in the notices that he would perform the prerelease track and the main track. but i was relieved yesterday when they said he performed smf 😌 anywayfddh im dumb. i can't wait to see the performances heheh <33

#anonymous #replied #🦋 anon

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ravenyenn19 · 1 year

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thoughts on the ferolind esque scene in episode eight?? Personally I was screaming at my screen the entire time 😂 I still can't stop thinking about it!!!! Freddy and Amita are so so talented. OH also what are your thoughts on show Wesper?

Hello!!! I am sorry this is a few days late- after I opened my asks the other night, I promptly realized I had left my laptop charger elsewhere... in true fanfic-authorTM fashion. <3 PS- for any others reading this, spoilers ahead for both the books & the show! Be warned, wary tag scrollers.

BUT

Regarding your first question & the Ferolind-esque scene in the Chapel... I loved loved hearing that line of dialogue on screen. It was a beautiful portrayal by both Freddy & Amita and I genuinely don't think they could have done such a pivotal scene adaptation from the books any better. <3

HOWEVER... I do wish to be honest about the fact that I think the weight of those words were not quite as heavy for non-readers. This is because in the show, we did not get a real focus on Inej's own issues regarding intimacy/ the amount of trauma she herself possesses. Now, I do firmly believe that the showrunners/writers intend for her backstory to take a firmer foothold on the screen in either the SoC spinoff or S3, but I cannot shake the belief that they should have pushed Inej's story to an equal with Kaz's in some aspect THIS season. I watched the show with someone who has not read the books, and for him, he didn't understand why Inej said those words to Kaz beyond essentially saying "Please just hurry & heal", which was never what "I will have you without your armor, Kaz Brekker, or I will not have you at all" really meant. At least, it was never so simple to me (nor I suspect most of the fandom).

I can't help but worry that this was the same for other viewers with no detailed knowledge of Inej's past. I do also recognize that netflix needed to cut much out in order to merge so much material. Yet I firmly believe without Inej's internal monologues of the book nor external flashbacks/ conversations (as they did with Kaz), it is harder to grasp her words as meaning more than literal. Or, in some contexts, almost cruel. Which Inej never was, not once.

Anyways, I almost would have preferred to see a line of dialogue in the vein of "It's not easy for me either", in order to portray Inej's own depth of understanding in how hard it is for Kaz, because she too battles her own mind & PTSD.

This is all to say, I adored the scene. I understand why the writers did it, and I am glad they did if only for ensuring we did get to see it, no matter what happens with renewals etc. I also think a few small changes could have led to a more balanced representation of Kaz & Inej's intricate relationship. I know this is a lot of thoughts, but because I've spent so long writing for kanej, I obviously value their characters too much to stop my writer's mind.

I guess, for me, the epitome of Kaz & Inej's relationship is true equality, and I don't know that it carried over to the show as much as I wish it would have. TL;DR: I loved the scene and the characterization was gorgeous. I think one or two things could have made it even better. <3

WESPER

Your second question... I honestly loved them in the show. Of course it was very different from the books, but... Idk. Somehow, the heart of it was still so very much them. I think it was genuinely sweet in a way, that they were able to just... push forward with their love story on the screen. <3

Kit & Jack are somehow ripped from SoC, their portrayal was SPOT ON. I cannot commend them enough. Sincerely. <3

Thank you for being here & asking!!! I am just excited to rave with fellow fans. <3 Also I commend you if you read this whole thing, I know I'm long winded...

#six of crows #shadow and bone #kanej #wesper #crooked kingdom #leigh bardugo #dealing with our demons #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #kaz x inej #shadow and bone season 2 #jesper fahey #wylan van eck

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anonniemousefics · 1 year

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Dear Nonnie!

Being in my thirties, I am constantly tired, depressed, overworked and running on coffee and a strong desire to live another day because in the end of it I can finally go to sleep (to be woken a few too many times by a wee baby). Which is probably how all adults live. All that being said, my head is full of ideas, characters, scenes from the books and stupid shit like that. I am bot a writer, I actually love to paint. How do I find time and enough will to do something about that instead of just lie there on the bed at my free moments? How fanfic writers find the time to write all that awesome staff?

Please share advice and wisdom,

Your anonymous admirer, still alive.

PS. That scene in the prison cell in Fjorda between separated Inej and Kaz was hot as hell. Loved it. As all your others fics, obviously.

Dear Still Alive,

I love you! I AM you! Well, except for one key difference, which is that my baby is not so wee anymore. He’s in school now, which is a game-changer, trust me. Getting enough sleep at night just isn’t a thing I have to stress about anymore – and someday, that will be you again, too. It’s true! I know people like to tease parents and say, like, “Haha you’ll never sleep again,” but I promise they’re full of shit! You will have long, luxurious sleeps again, and when you do, I think you’ll find you have the capacity to do so much more than you are able to now.

So, first thing’s first: cut yourself some slack and give yourself some love. You should rest when you need to rest. The fact that you want to lie in bed today is not failure or poor time management. It’s very possible that you’re lying there on the bed because you NEED to lie there on the bed. You’re doing so much already!! The urge to lie down is a very real physical response to the super chaotic world we have to navigate, made all the more exhausting when you have small children, and it’s just as deserving of attention as hunger or thirst or any other physical need.

In fact, you’re not just allowed to rest, you’re encouraged to rest – that’s actually a vital part of the creative process! I have exactly zero ideas when I’m pushing myself and anxious and stressing myself out. Literally all of my ideas waltz in when I’m having a long shower, or I’m driving somewhere and I’ve got nothing better to do with my mind, or I’m trying to grab another fifteen minutes of shut-eye before the alarm goes off. None of the magic happens when I’m spread thin and I’m forcing myself to cram in 30 minutes of writing because I told myself I had to or I’ll never make it as a writer (which, believe me, I’ve tried this route and it’s nothing but pain and suffering all the way down. 0/10 stars, would not recommend).

So, here’s the switch I made for myself to help me to start to create again, and maybe you’ll find it useful, too. But be warned: it’s not a quick fix, and it’s actually taken a couple years of therapy to get here. Anyway, it’s this: I made a conscious decision to stop guilting myself and instead to trust myself. When I want to use my free time to rest, I rest. When I want to use my free time to read a bunch of fic or just scroll through Instagram reels, that’s what I do. I trust that my body’s giving me that urge for a reason, just like it does with hunger or thirst, and I try to pay attention to when it stops feeling like rest or fun. Because none of those things are inherently bad, you know? Do them. Enjoy them. We need them. Don’t guilt yourself over them – just try to notice when your brain makes the switch to “that’s enough.”

And then, after I did this for a while, something started to happen. As my nervous system got used to having its needs met – and I’m talking not just the basic ones like food and shelter, but like rest and connection and freedom from shame etc. – then I started to have more energy. I started to need less time to lie down. I started to have ideas again, and I started to want to do something with them, and not just in like a wistful “I hope to do this someday” kind of way, but in like a “This is what I’m going to do now and here’s when I will do it” kind of way. And it started little! It started so little, I cannot stress this enough! If the inspiration hits you to sketch a little scene on a napkin, that is still art!!! You are still an artist, and you practiced art in that moment, and you practiced it joyfully and authentically and you should celebrate that!!! Even, and maybe especially, if it doesn’t look exactly the way you pictured it in your mind (because chances are it never will). And then do it again!!! It’s like a muscle, and it will grow a little stronger every time you do.

And then here’s the other amazing thing that will happen, if you start practice art this way – just like how after you’ve stuck with a workout plan for awhile, you start to feel more energized after a good workout, the same thing start to happen when you’re able to create art authentically, joyfully, and without guilt. It becomes a form of self-care. And I can’t speak for all fanfic writers, but this is entirely why I do it. I work in moments to do it (a thing which is a hell of a lot easier to do now that my kid is in school), because when I do, I actually have more energy now, having gone through this growth process. A lot of the time (not all of the time, but a lot of the time) I actually feel more like myself than I would have if I’d spent time doing something else. It becomes its own reward – but before that can happen, it has to be treated like a reward, you feel me? And that means no guilt when you don’t have time or energy for it and lots of grace for yourself when you make mistakes and it doesn’t look the way you wanted it to.

So, I wish I could offer you like the perfect time management spreadsheet or like access to the secret nanny-swap service we all use (I wish), but, for better or for worse, it’s been my experience that the time and the will to do creative stuff comes with rest and a lot of self love and acceptance. And a kid that sleeps through the night. Sorry about that part. That part just comes with time.

Wishing you lots of coffee and peaceful nights.

Much love,

Nonnie

P.S. - I may or may not be working on a sequel to that one. (I am. It’s just taking awhile.)

#dear nonnie #living out my fantasy of being an underqualified advice columnist #anon asks #ask box #fanfiction stuff #art stuff #work life balance and other impossible things

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writingforatwistedworld · 2 years

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Not attempting to make a request, but I just started playing and I'm at the "whose hand do you take" part and I'm stuck between choosing Malleus, Azul, Idia, and Vil. Who do you think I should go with? I like Vil from an aesthetics perspective, I like Azul for his behavior and the fact he was the first character I encountered (on your blog actually) from TWST, with Idia it's a "gamers stick together" instinct, but Malleus I just want to reach up and give headpats to the poor guy and hope that if he goes yandere, he at least let's me do my own thing enough to roam a castle or something.

Wow.... I make people like TWST... I'm really honoured!

But let me give you some tips! Especially in the beginning you can mess up a lot. Like, a lot lot.

I get that you want to choose your favorite character but I really have to say don't. The game is long and either way you will get their ceremonial robes sooner or later. Luckily for you however, Malleus is a very good starter character. Give him those lollipops to munch on and level up his spell and general level. Tada! You got a very powerful mage. (But seriously, level those spells up. So many neglect that part and it can safe you!)

I know that you only asked about the first card you can get but... I will try to help you for your first SSR card, ok? I would highly recommend Trey. Now, you don't need to tale him but what I also highly recommend is NOT taking a character that has the same element twice. Idk how much u know about cards but every card has two spells. They can have one or two elements. Take a card with two elements! Please! I know what I'm talking about! I had Riddles SSR in my first acc and I got stuck. You will encounter a enemy whom one element won't do much damage. With two however you can be sure that you are somewhat more likely to defeat them.

And when I'm already telling you more than you asked for... do the history lessons, then the alchemy lessons (the one where u get the lollipops from) and the in last place flying class. But Veil, why? Why? Well so that you level up not too fast, unlock parts of the story too early, get stuck because you are still too weak and the loose interest. History lessons give less points when it's about leveling up your acc but you want the cards to be as good as possible before advancing.

When choosing a partner choose which type of card you have less. If you got more attack cards than defense then take a defense as support and the other way around if you are faced with the opposite situation.

Do not read the vignettes too fast unless you want to groovyfy a card. You will get diamonds from them and they are kinda like your secret piggyback. In the beginning you will be tempted to pull for every card. Belive me, keeping the vignettes unread until that "I WANT THEM ALL!!!" phase is over will safe you from a lot of pain later. (If you are very curious about the stories in them you can read them in the wiki. I recommend the unofficial one because you can navigate it better.)

Have I forgotten something? I don't think so.

Keep it slow and easy. No one is rushing you but moat important of all, have fun playing!

Ps: I'm on the phone so typos are most likely guaranteed. Sorry for that.

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upsidedownwithsteve · 1 year

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i’m not even reading all of that anons message because what the hell?? what do they expect you to do? check if you’ve used the word “heat” more than once and find synonyms for it every goddamn time? i’m sure they didn’t mean it with malicious intent, but either way, did they not stop to think about how that would affect you?

nobody’s writing is perfect by any means, but emmy, my god you are as close to perfect as i can think. you’re exceptional and incredibly talented at what you do and their critiques should honestly mean absolutely nothing. and hey, my words may mean nothing because i’m a young aspiring writer who’s barely even 18, but i gotta say you have been one of my favourite authors to read and you’ve seriously helped me improve.

personally, i adore your use of “overused” words, whether it’s intentional or not because quite frankly, it feels familiar and i can always identify that it’s you writing and not somebody else. i love your style and i definitely wouldn’t be as good at writing as i hope i am if i hadn’t fallen upon your tumblr account when i did.

i’ve yet to do my annoying lengthy reposts where i go on and on for far too long about what i loved, but for now i’ll just say that i loved IWYTWM. truly, i was so goddamn excited to read it (i literally stayed up till like 4am my time 💀) and it was just as fantastic as i expected, if not more.

again, please don’t let those kinds of people deter you, they’re just being jerks.

(ps. did i proof read this? no, i did not, my emotions got the best of me because i am a very passionate person and i hate seeing this bullshit being targeted at you.)

love, ali :)

ali ali ali I love youuuu.

you’re too kind and too lovely and SO SWEET. thank you so much for this and all your support always. i’m so glad you enjoyed it and 4am! my dude 😭

“It feels familiar and I always identify that’s it’s you writing” can I just say, this made me tear up? like genuinely, this is so touching thank you thank you 🧡

#bby Ali 😭🧡#ask

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killerandhealerqueen · 2 years

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sorry it’s been a while buuuuuut i’ve been thinking of KH where they carve pumpkins together with keying and it just gets soft uwu, little lattes or soups and them watching her play with the sleepy cat outside in the yard of golden leaves, sharing scarfs and mittens or stuffing hands in the other’s pocket to stay warm, matching coats tooooooo

-👻

ps happy fall

Ghost anon please, you are making my heart too damn fond, oh my god. Happy Fall to you too, my darling! I am handing you a cup of warm cider as we speak

It was a cool, early autumn evening as Chen Yuzhi was sitting on the couch under a blanket, reading a book when Jiang Yuelou and Keying stepped into the house, three pumpkins between them

“Gege, look!”

Chen Yuzhi looked up from his book and when he saw the pumpkins, he raised an eyebrow

“Pumpkins? What are you planning on doing with those?”

Keying huffed

“Carve them, of course!”

Chen Yuzhi blinked before he chuckled softly and closed his book, placing it beside him before he stood to his feet and walked over to them

“Of course, of course, pumpkin carving. How could I forget?”

He then reached out and took one of the pumpkins from Jiang Yuelou, Jiang Yuelou looking at him gratefully before he looked at Keying

“Come on, let’s go set these on the table so that we can plan out how we want to carve them”

Keying nodded and headed over to the dining room table, Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi following behind before they all placed their pumpkins on the table, Keying pointing to each pumpkin

“So we all can carve one”

Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi smiled fondly before Jiang Yuelou hummed

“I think you should let one of us carve yours…you’re a little too young to be holding a knife”

Chen Yuzhi nodded in agreement

“We don’t want the knife to accidentally slip and cut you”

Keying nodded before she looked at him and Jiang Yuelou

“What are you gonna carve into your pumpkin?”

Chen Yuzhi and Jiang Yuelou looked at her before Chen Yuzhi shook his head

“I’m not artistically talented”

Jiang Yuelou looked at him incredulously

“Says the person who once drew a suspect from memory”

Chen Yuzhi tsked

“That’s different”

Keying giggled

“It doesn’t have to be good, gege”

Chen Yuzhi smirked

“Sorry. But I don’t know, I guess it’ll come to me whenever we’re carving. Why, what are you going to carve?”

Keying smiled

“Secret”

Jiang Yuelou laughed

“Well, one of us is going to have to carve it, so it won’t stay a secret for long”

Keying blinked in realization

“Oh yeah”

Chen Yuzhi and Jiang Yuelou both laughed before Chen Yuzhi stepped into the kitchen and grabbed the large chef’s knife, walking back over to the kitchen table before placing the knife far away from Keying

“Alright, why don’t you let Jiang Yuelou scoop out your pumpkin and then let him help you carve it?”

Keying nodded and watched as Jiang Yuelou picked up the knife and carefully, without trying to cut himself, cut into the pumpkin, removing the top before he placed it aside and looked over at Chen Yuzhi, who was in the kitchen

“Can you grab a bowl and a large spoon or something?”

Chen Yuzhi nodded and grabbed the bowl and spoon before he walked over and placed it down besides Jiang Yuelou

“Just toss the seeds inside the bowl, I’ll make snacks out of them later”

Jiang Yuelou nodded and got to gutting the pumpkin and once it was gutted, he looked at Keying and raised an eyebrow

“Alright, what am I carving?”

Keying then motioned him down, Jiang Yuelou leaning down so that his ear was by her mouth as she whispered her request into his ear

After he heard her request, he quickly set out to carve what she wanted before he showed it to her

“Good?”

Keying grinned

“It’s perfect!”

Chen Yuzhi tilted his head

“Oh? Can I see?”

Keying looked over at him and shook her head

“Secret!”

Chen Yuzhi laughed

“Alright, alright, secret. Now, don’t you think Jiang Yuelou and I should carve our pumpkins?”

Keying nodded as Jiang Yuelou turned to him

“Want me to carve your pumpkin?”

Chen Yuzhi huffed

“I can cut and gut my own pumpkin, dear”

Jiang Yuelou smirked as he handed him the knife

“Have at it then”

Chen Yuzhi smiled and took the knife before he began to cut his pumpkin, which was white, carefully removing the top as well as the inside before he handed the knife to Jiang Yuelou

“Here. Your turn”

Jiang Yuelou then took the knife back and quickly removed the top and the innards of his pumpkin before he looked at Chen Yuzhi

“Shall we get to carving?”

Chen Yuzhi nodded and headed to the kitchen to get smaller knives, handing one to Jiang Yuelou before they both got to carving and once they were done, they both put their knives down before Chen Yuzhi stood to his feet

“Shall we go put our pumpkins outside in the courtyard and then add candles so we can see what we carved?”

Keying nodded and soon the three of them were heading out to the courtyard, placing the family of pumpkins next to each other before Chen Yuzhi headed inside and grabbed three tea candles, placing them inside the pumpkins as Jiang Yuelou lit a match and carefully lit each candle before placing the tops of the pumpkins back on, revealing the three designs: a typical pumpkin face, a star and moon, and a very cute cat face

“What a cute cat…was that your secret?”

Keying grinned and nodded, causing Chen Yuzhi to smile and nudge Jiang Yuelou fondly

“Not bad”

Jiang Yuelou smirked

“I’m good with a knife too, dear”

Chen Yuzhi laughed and nodded

“Yes, yes you are”

He then looked over at Keying and smiled

“Come on, you can help me make roasted pumpkin seeds”

Keying nodded and followed him inside to help while Jiang Yuelou worked on cleaning up the dining room table of the sticky mess the inside of the pumpkins made

After Chen Yuzhi and Keying had cleaned the pumpkin seeds and placed them in the oven to roast, Keying looked up at Chen Yuzhi

“Gege, can we make warm apple cider?”

Chen Yuzhi smiled

“I don’t see why not”

He then looked at Jiang Yuelou

“Do you want to help?”

Jiang Yuelou smiled

“Don’t you think there’ll be too many cooks in the kitchen?”

Keying then turned and looked at him with big puppy eyes

“Come on gege”

Jiang Yuelou laughed before he nodded, soon the three of them working on making the warm apple cider

As they made the cider, the house began to smell like fall, causing Keying to hum happily

“It smells so nice in here”

Chen Yuzhi and Jiang Yuelou nodded in agreement, just as the oven dinged, signaling that the seeds were done

Jiang Yuelou then took the seeds out of the oven and placed them on the counter to cool, just as Chen Yuzhi finished making the cider, pouring three cups of the warm brew before he passed one to Keying

“Careful, it’s hot”

Keying nodded and carefully took it in her hands before she walked over to the door of the house and sat down on the stoop, looking out at the pumpkins that glowed under the evening moon

As she sat and watched the pumpkins, Xiao Bai padded over to her and climbed into her lap, Keying leaning down to press a kiss to his head while Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi walked over to the couch and sat down, both men snuggling against each other, warm mugs of cider in their hands

After a while, the house felt strangely quiet, causing Chen Yuzhi to look over at Jiang Yuelou in confusion before he placed his mug on the coffee table and stood up, walking over to the entrance of the house to see Keying leaning up against the house, fast asleep

He smiled at her fondly before he headed out to the courtyard and blew out the candles inside the pumpkins, making sure they were out before he walked back over to Keying and scooped her into his arms, carrying back over to the couch

He then sat down first before he placed Keying down on his and Jiang Yuelou’s lap, Jiang Yuelou grabbing the blanket that had been covering Chen Yuzhi earlier before placing it over her shoulders

Xiao Bai, who had slipped off Keying’s lap when she had fallen asleep, soon appeared and settled next to Chen Yuzhi, causing him to smile and gently pet him before he snuggled against Jiang Yuelou again, all of them enjoying the cool autumn evening, the house still smelling of warm cider

#sass answers #ghost anon edition #Killer and Healer #jiang yuelou #chen yuzhi #keying #yuezhi family #killer and healer headcanons

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