like i personally am mch trash right idk that i will ever 90 another dps, but ive been thinking that after dragonsong ilya transitions out of black mage into red mage instead. makes more sense from a black mage pipeline perspective AND a looking into future confrontations perspective, 'cause like. as much as i love mch BECAUSE it's stupid. that rabbit would be dead.

whether i actually manage to learn red mage or not, lmao.

hawthorne weekly dinner head canons

this has been sitting in my drafts for so long (although i only started posting earlier this week, i've had a few posts in my drafts for a while) you can't tell me they don't have weekly dinners. they're all literally so cute. like i can just imagine the four brothers, avery, libby, max, and even rebecca and thea sometimes spending some time all together. i might make a part two bc i honestly love the idea of all of them spending time together at dinner.

max and xander are always talking about the weird things that happened to them that week (once, they managed to get stuck with a lion in a cage at the zoo)

libby and grayson usually cook the food together. xander will help libby make the desserts.

once grayson starts dating someone (lyra probably, for some reason i'm still not convinced they'll end up together), obviously she joins these little dinners.

avery sometimes forces alisa to stop working and join too. she slowly starts to get over nash bc of them (she realises she's a girlboss and doesn't need a man in her life (i hc that she's bi))

grayson really enjoys the meals. he slowly starts to loosen up and smile more (this makes everyone really happy).

they once dared avery to make the food one night, but she's a horrible cook so they just decided to order take out.

jamie, when the plates and everything have been taken away from the table, gets on top of it and starts twerking.

the dinners always lead to everyone settling down in the living room and watching movies/tv shows (in two other posts, i mentioned that xander, grayson, libby, and avery love medical dramas so they probably all just watch that)

rebecca doesn't really like socializing with so many people at once so she brings a book with her. thea notices her all lonely and starts to talk to her bc she's such a good gf (istg they're so cute together).

avery and jameson always sit next to each other and are touching each other (sometimes jamie has an arm wrapped around her shoulder, other times he's holding her hand or places his hand on her thigh.

grayson canonically loves photography, and so these dinners give him the opportunity to show his work. he also takes pictures of them at dinner

sometimes he'll also show everyone some piano pieces he composed (this guy most definitely plays the piano)

these dinner usually end up becoming games of truth or dares, never have i ever, two truths and a lie etc. these games reveal so many things about everyone. so people get to know each other better

libby always has a slew of funny stories about baby avery. avery's always blushing from embarrassment.

sometimes, thea's just on her phone the whole time replying to comments and stuff.

xander likes to sit next to grayson cause he likes to talk about his gadgets and, bc gray doesn't really speak, he can talk freely (gray loves hearing him talk about things he enjoys). xander also has max sitting on his other side so that he can talk to her too, but usually she's busy talking to avery and stuff

during one of these family dinners, they learned that gray had an emo phase when he was 11.

they also learned that avery used to be a hopeless romantic thanks to max and libby (the four brothers, thea, rebecca, and alisa were all shocked cause she doesn't seem like she would be one but then they realized it made sense)

during a game of truth or dare, jameson managed to bang his head so hard on the table he passed out (idk what the dare was)

libby tends to sit across grayson and they start talking about cooking and stuff.

grayson once forgot about the dinner but really wanted to attend. he couldn't find a shirt he liked though and he was so tired that he just showed up shirtless (everyone had no words)

sometimes, avery or one of the brothers will post pics of their dinners and fans always think it's adorable.

jamie and avery will talk about the trips they took together

nash loves to talk about taylor swift's easter eggs/cryptic posts, etc. max who's also a hard core swiftie joins in. the rest of the table, at some point, start to like talking about these easter eggs too, and it becomes a huge thing (i hc that all of them were already swifties prior to these dinners. some less addicted to her music than others though)

they all like reading (except for thea, she doesn't get the point of it) so they start talking about thebooks they like or are currently reading.

at one of these family dinners, its revealed that nash reads smut (people already knew max and xander read smut already cause they aren't ashamed to talk about the weird shit they read)

max is always threatening avery to reveal all of her dirty secrets (they've been friends since childhood, of course max knows things about avery that no one else does)

at first, libby was kinda shy to talk at the table bc she felt like people didn't really care about what she had to say (fuck you drake, it's all cause of him) so nash started comforting her and encouraging her to talk. grayson overheard the conversation and started a conversation with her to encourage her. he told her that she was part of the family whether she wanted to or not, and people wanted to talk to her (she teared up).

sometimes, when libby gets anxious about speaking, nash will put his hand on her thigh and hype her up.

at first, grayson was so happy to have these dinners and be surrounded with people that love him that he would start to tear up in bed at night. over time, he started to accept that these people would always be in his life and stopped crying at night.

if anyone has requests, feel free to leave them! hope you guys like these <3. also here's a little seating plan i made for fun :) when lyra joins someday, she sits between gray and rebecca.

Nash proposing to Libby

Hey, guess what? I wrote another fic. Why? Because I have no job.

Disclaimer:

Mentions of Nash Hawthorne, Libby Grambs and Alisa Ortega. Minor cursing.

English is not my first language. I'm sorry if there's any mistakes.

Word count: 9K (IT'S LIKE THE SHORTEST I CAN, OK?!)

While growing up, all Nash craved and dreamed of—whole heartily, soul consuming and passionately— was his grandfather approval. He just wanted to know that he did enough, that he was enough. All the old man lessons he kept in mind, so he would not make any mistakes the next time. Be perfect. Better. Stronger. That's what Tobias always praised. But it didn't take long for him to discover who his grandfather, the man he admired, was. And after that, how could he learn about what being extraordinary really meant from a man who was worse than the devil? The respect slowly started to go away, giving room for the need to stay away from. From his money. His house. His horrific lessons that Nash memorized, who seemed to age like milk in his brain, leaving the dreadful spoiled smell behind. Eventually, he just put in his head that his lectures were full of bullshit that he did not need. But he knew, deep in his soul and heart, that he would never forget one, no matter how much time passed by. It just didn't go away.

5 years later

Nash was 22 years old, and he just came home from a long trip around the country. He tried working at different jobs, since he wouldn't use his grandfather money to keep him alive and under a roof. Tried being a mechanic, because he understood a lot of cars and motorcycles. Chef, since he knew a thing or two about cooking. Worked at Target for a long period, for the reason that he simply liked his costumers. Makeup artist, 'cause why not? At the time, he found it more enthusiastic to work as a bartender, serving all kind of drinks and listening to people's stories. However, he usually had a hard time trying to get a job, since he even refused to use his real last name and had to use a fake ID. Fortunately, he knew how to convince someone that his name really was Nash Ortega. Maybe he could change after his marriage with Alisa. Sure, she was having a bad time accepting the fact that he wanted her to move on from his grandfather and get others clients, but she probably would give in. She loved Nash and already said that she wanted to have a life with him, so there was a high chance that they would make it through. Of course they would. Just because it was a minor argument, that didn't mean they wouldn't work out as a marriage couple. They would, and Nash was more than pleased to state that he couldn't wait any longer to runaway from the billionaire with the love of his life, Alisa. The woman he could only think 24/7. The one he always saw first in the mornings. The one and only he thought about having a family with. His heart pounded faster and harder just at the thought of his new life with his incredible wife. In fact, it beat so fast that it was the only thing he could hear at the quiet tree house. He took a moment to analyze it better. The Hawthornes were know for being magnificent when it came to luxury, always having really expensive and glorious things. Their own house and the others old man's properties were an example of it. But the tree house was out of curve, without anything really rich and embellished. It was like a normal tree house, the magic was on the memories. That's when Nash heard footsteps behind him, too fragile and languidness to belong to any of his brothers. Without turning around, he felt a light but firm hand on his shoulder. “It's beautiful, isn't it?”, the old man asked, and Nash couldn't keep himself from feeling a really pure disgusting feeling of his grandfather. Of everything that he had done. Yet, the Nash that once saw him as a father felt love. “It could be yours, all yours, if you choose to stay with Alisa.” His grandson threw his head back, laughing really hard. “Trying to manipulate me again, Tobias?”, he emphasized his name. No “grandfather” or “old man” for him today. The devil stood still, not appearing offended by his word or apologizing to his grandson. But the secret was that he would never say sorry to any of them—ever. He would die before it. “You're consistent, Nash,” he replied. “Resisting even when I offer you everything. That's what I love about you.” Nash snorted, “We both know that it isn't going to be me.” Tobias looked at Nash's eyes, his expression never giving a hint about his thoughts.

“Maybe you really aren't. But who cares? You decided years and years ago that you hated everything that was related to me, and you've been running away from me since them. And you have the audacity to say in front of my face that I'm manipulating you!”. The old man smiled, amused. “You took a decision years ago and stood with it, without any hesitation.”, he looked at Nash. “That's what you should do if you want to help people. I know you don't want my money, but don't hesitate, Nash. Never hesitate when making decisions to save someone. Be consistent, hard to deal with hesitation.”, he looked away. “If you don't be, the consequences can destroy you completely.” Nash felt like the old man was talking about his own experiences in life, but he didn't give a damn at the time. Or at least pretended to. He wasn't really good at pretending, if everything always came back to haunt him.

——————————————————————————

Looking at the ring he just bought to Libby, this memory came back. Nash wasn't made for hesitation. He always thought about the right decision to make, and he stood with his decision no matter what. It was hard to change his mind. When he broke free from the old man, he was confident about it. When it came to his brothers, he was sure about every single decision. Even when he proposed to Alisa, he was more than certain about it. Of course, he was ignorant enough to think that Alisa would give up on the old man. She didn't, and it was terrifying to think about the things that Tobias did. The things he took away from Nash. But this time he wasn't there, which meant that he couldn't take Libby away. He was hers and this would never change. He was sure about everything that was about her, so why he got so nervous and insecure just by looking at the ring? Probably because he didn't know if she wanted it too. Libby loved Nash, but what if it was too early to take this step? What if it was the wrong kind of ring? What if the place wasn't adequate? And the most horrendous question: what if she wanted it, but not with him? There were so many doubts, and he didn't like to be so. . . Scared. That's it, Libby managed to get him scared. And unsure. But that's what he would find in a marriage life. Sometimes, being married isn't a straight road, and it's definitely not easy and secure. It was more like being in a road full of multiple turns and confused, mysterious and even scary streets. But once the streets are crossed, the rest is lovely. Not easy, but worth it. And Nash was ready for it.

Libby spent her entire life in Connecticut, and now that she had money and a food truck business, she wanted to travel to places that once were only part of an unreachable dream. Like Paris. Nash had the idea, and he planned everything for the two of them: booked a hotel, searched for restaurants that made her favorite foods, localized the most famous places that sold flowers—just in case— and he had every single day planned. Well, at least the second day had to strictly follow the plan.

They arrived late at night in Paris, Nash still feeling terrible from the flight, ate dinner and slept. Nash woke up at 5:00 am, anxiety not letting him sleep for long, and they left at 7:00 am.

The Eiffel Tower. Notre Dame. Palais Garnier. Louvre Museum. Champs-Élysées. Nash took her to visit all these places, loving to see the admiration in her face. He has been to Paris before, therefore there wasn't anything he hasn't seen—at least at the most famous locations. Even though he did not like expensive places, he really wanted to give this experience to Libby before proposing. And by the end of the day, they were exhausted. It was impossible to feel his toes, but he had to ask the important question to her. They were standing on a cliff, staring at the Eiffel Tower—which was pretty, he had to admit. “Nash, why did you randomly take me to Paris?” Libby asked, and he froze, unable to even look at her. But she glanced at him. “I know you would eventually take me to travel, but why right now?”

He gathered himself, his heart pounding fast. “I love you, Libby. You deserve to have a day like this one every day for the rest of your life”, he picked her chin, looking in her eyes. “But I brought you here today because I wanted to ask you something.” He dropped her chin, searching for the ring on his pocket. “You saved me in so many ways, Libby. You fixed what I thought could never be fixed. You loved me for what I am, and I want to be with you until I die. So,” he picked the box, “I really want to know.” Opening it carefully, he revealed the ring. If he wasn't shaking, sweating and so god-damn nervous, he would've noticed Libby's shy smile and her hands shaking. She was blushing, like him. Kneeling, he asked, “Lib, will you marry me?” Her smile grew more and more, happiness dominating her completely. She shook her head and said out loud, “Yes, Nash. I'll marry you. I love you so much.” Lib managed to say the last part with a quavering voice, tears falling down her cheeks. He got up from the ground, and she hugged him really tight, both with bright smiles. Nash kissed her like his life depended on it, like he was made for it and for nothing else, a soft and lovely kiss. His lips held an unspoken promise: “I will fight for you, love you, and always choose you. I'm yours, and I'll do everything I can to make you happy.” And they stood there, kissing, with happy tears in their eyes.

Okay I will draw them as soon as I get real time but for now, enjoy some ramblings about ShibaLevTsukki in attempt to convince you to vote for them in the @hqrarepairtournament

- Lev knowing he has feelings for both of them and talking to Yaku and Kuroo about it and getting "You can date more than one person, Lev" "yeah, as long as they're both cool with it" in response and getting so excited.

- Shibayama and Tsukishima take longer to warm up to each other but during that phase Lev really bridges the gap. They both went into it with the mindset of Lev being their boyfriend but not them also dating, that changes. Later on they bond over the process of getting onto their professional teams.

- let me reiterate the Tsukishima being very quiet about his relationship status in his second\third year and majorly surprising the new team members when he accepts affection from Lev

- Speaking of Professional teams, Lev tries to be at every single game of theirs he can be. When the Frogs play Esperanza he has a hard time figuring out which side to sit on but Alisa helps him make a half and half Tshirt for it.

- Lev talks and talks and talks about his partners at photoshoots, he's very open about himself to the public, but for as much as he talks he's never really clear about who he's talking about so people get really confused because this week he says his boyfriend is tall and had curly hair but last week he said his boyfriend was short with straight hair.

- Shibayama doesn't talk about the relationship without being asked, his teammates probably know, but it's not like common knowledge

- Tsukishima says fuck all about it to anyone other than his friends, maybe, MAYBE, Kyoutani and Koganegawa know, but he isn't telling the rest of the Frogs. That's for him, Lev, and Shibayama to know, he doesn't need everyone in his business.

- Lev is heavy on the PDA sometimes, but he knows when it's inappropriate. Shibayama is okay with it, Tsukishima acts annoyed but enjoys it. In private Tsukishima likes to just lean against either of them in a "hey I want attention" gesture. Shibayama is more of an acts of service type, he doesn't really think about it but ends up doing things for them to show affection, learns their little preferences and accommodates.

- Chaotic group chat, Lev sends a lot of photos and loves using emojis, Shibayama uses the (\^-^/) faces because they're cute, and Tsukishima doesn't use any, he sends a lot on no caps, no punctuation, straight to the point messages. Lev is totally a "this is us" and a picture of 2 cats and a crow person or "hey I found Tsukki!!!" with a picture of a frog.

That's what I've got right now, have fun, vote for ShibaLevTsukki pls!!!

Preliminary Poll

Jin Kazama

Submission reason:

Straight up assassinated and derailed my man's entire personality by making him contradict his entire character in the previous games, war crimes, lying to Eddy that he'll save his master, murdered some poor Spanish lady, probably killed some other people, and also made him mean to his friends (Hwoarang and Xiaoyu). The creators fucking screwed him over so badly and destroyed his reputation amongst fans just to hype up this new character named Lars who turns out be Heihachi's son. Then they also sidelined him in Tekken 7 to focus more on Heihachi and Kazuya, Jin had almost no screen time. Jin spends the entire game in a come and he also needs to be saved by Hwoarang like a damsel in distress. Jin was the Princess Peach of Tekken 7. So many Tekken characters in general got done dirty (Asuka and Xiaoyu being sidelined so other characters like Lars, Alisa, and Lee could shine). I just think they did Jin the dirtiest. It was so bad that most Tekken fanfiction I read is canon divergent because some of the fans including me pretty much embraced that the creators screwed him over. It's sad how fanfiction and Netflix potray the Tekken characters especially Jin better than the recent games. The Tekken series in general really fell from grace after Tekken 5.

Propaganda:

They didn't have to ruin Jin's character to hype up Lars. Just have Jin leave the Zaibatsu after Tekken 5 to go find his mother and learn about his Kazama powers. Jin wanted to move on from his family drama and he wants to stop desiring revenge. Which leads to Heihachi conquering the Mishima Zaibatsu and starting a war with Kazuya's G Corporation. Kazuya and Heihachi unknowingly unleash Azazel by causing despair, and now they want to get Azazel's power. Lars leaves the Zaibatsu disgusted by Heihachi's actions. Eventually Jin finds his mother, only to watch in horror as society goes to shit. Lars gets Jin to join his rebel army to stop Heihachi. Jin joins Lars's side out of guilt for not stopping Heihachi sooner. Sometimes, all it takes to fix the lore is simply replace one or two characters so the events fit in better with the established personalities and storylines of these characters.

i love these types of scenes because they get the least notes but the most interaction, and that's the most inspirational & motivating thing to me, so i want to say an extra big thank you 💖 anyway let the sadness commence

wellllll if jada saw this vision, it means asa did die, at least in the medical sense of the word. she doesn't see visions of grievous injuries, she only sees death. but we know from past experiences that when asa goes traveling, his body continues to breathe and his heart continues beating even though he has zero brain activity and thus should be dead. so we'll just have to wait and see how that factors into this situation 😌 either way, the emotional devastation everyone around him will feel because of this is... yeah. it's a lot :( the consequences of this decision go deeper than "will he or won't he survive?" because even if he does survive, he will have to contend with the fact that everyone will think he took his own life on purpose. he's already been fighting to get more privacy and trust from his parents, but after this......... man.... :/

@bitchyybabyy400 that's a really good question which i unfortunately can't answer yet :P what i can say though, is that jada's visions have been very consistent! she's only ever seen 3 flashes of "information" leading to someone's death (no dialogue). she sees the vague location, the method of death, and the person's face during/after death. everything else, she extrapolates from the scene, or she only learns it in hindsight from the news or from talking to others. so it will be really interesting to see exactly what she knows!

also omg i was so worried the content warning would spoil it and everyone would be able to guess what was about to happen, but i obviously couldn't post this one without a warning. i'm glad to know it didn't ruin the post for you!

fjskdjs i know, i've never had so few words make such a big impact!! can you even imagine if i randomly started posting gameplay again and just dropped the story lmao like what do you mean frozen pines? this is frozen pines

@mmmatchasims oh good point!! especially now that jada and alisa have had their big confrontation, they might actually work together... or maybe not, you never know with them :P thank you!! 💖

fjskdjsdj imagine if i really did kill my main character off. permanently. and this is how i treated the situation lmaooo that would probably be taking the "kill your darlings" advice a little too literally... in all seriousness though, i hope the stakes of the situation still feel real, because there absolutely WILL be consequences for this, even if it's not necessarily death!

who's ur fav Tekken character. and who do you want to kill with hammers

fav tekken character gameplay wise: heihachi. i like EWGFs and demon kicks and his raijin stance stuff, but i never liked or wanted to learn kazuyas demon stuff and heihachi has a goofier air to him than kazuya or demon jin. i also really like his powerbomb grab animation and his goofy GYAAAH HAHAH dash/dodge movement option. because of that ill probably try learning reina and kuma first in T8, though i am also v interested in leo, alisa, and lucky chloe/lidia if either ever comes back. i would say lidia and lucky chloe are my favorite but theyre both only in 7 and heihachis in almost every tekken game, so if i were to pick any game besides 7, id be at least trying heihachi first. also his moveset in Playstation ASB is interesting

fav tekken character otherwise: this is obvious if uve followed me for a while (i like cute girls that smile and wear/are pink) but in order from absolute most favoritest onwards: lidia, lucky chloe, alisa, reina, xiaoyu, asuka, jun, lili, hwaorang (i honestly like his goofy Final Fantasy 14 ass in Tekken 7), geese. chances are if im ever playing tekken 7 ill play one of these characters at least once to fuck around with. i also fuck around w the goofier characters like jack and pre-8 kuma with @cromerholt (though i usually play panda when they play kuma cause i like to be different).

who do you want to kill with hammers: Capitalists. Biden.

read my full review of foul heart huntsman by chloe gong here.

From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of These Violent Delights and Our Violent Ends comes the second book in the captivating Foul Lady Fortune duology following an immortal assassin in 1930s Shanghai as she races to save her country and her love.

Winter is drawing thick in 1932 Shanghai, as is the ever-nearing threat of a Japanese invasion.

Rosalind Lang has suffered the worst possible fate for a national spy: she’s been exposed. With the media storm camped outside her apartment for the infamous Lady Fortune, she’s barely left her bedroom in weeks, plotting her next course of action after Orion was taken and his memories of Rosalind wiped. Though their marriage might have been a sham, his absence hurts her more than any physical wound. She won’t rest until she gets him back.

But with her identity in the open, the task is near impossible. The only way to leave the city and rescue Orion is under the guise of a national tour. It’s easy to convince her superiors that the countryside needs unity more than ever, and who better than an immortal girl to stir pride and strength into the people?

When the tour goes wrong, however, everything Rosalind once knew is thrown up in the air. Taking refuge outside Shanghai, old ghosts come into the open and adversaries turn to allies. To save Orion, they must find a cure to his mother’s traitorous invention and take this dangerous chemical weapon away from impending foreign invasion—but the clock is ticking, and if Rosalind fails, it’s not only Orion she loses, but her nation itself.

my review:

If you’ve been following me for a while, you must know at this point that I am a Big Chloe Gong fan and have been since 2020. Foul Lady Fortune is probably my favorite of her books, so of course I was absolutely desperate to read the sequel. I devoured it as soon as I received an ARC and I do not regret that decision at all! Foul Heart Huntsman was a brilliant series finale, with twists and turns and an ending that will leave everyone happy.

This review contains spoilers for These Violent Ends, Our Violent Ends, and Foul Lady Fortune.

Months after the events of the previous book, Rosalind is desperate to get Orion back after his mother brainwashed him and took him away. When she learns that she’s about to be released from service, she volunteers herself to go on a national tour in an attempt to lure Orion to her. Meanwhile, Celia and Oliver are tasked with intercepting him if he does show up at the tour; Alisa is on the run with the only vial of the cure for the super soldier serum; and Phoebe has her own plans up her sleeve to get her brother back.

read my full review here.

More Endwalker spoilers ahead. You've been warned...

I love the story in this game. It is probably the greatest thing I've ever experienced out of a video game, and that's because it builds on itself in so many cool ways over the hundreds of hours it takes to go through it.

So I probably should have expected Fandaniel to break the rules. However... I did not. So when this bastard shows up and teleports us out of the middle of our own camp, I started freaking out for my WoL.

The ensuing scene? Chills. He didn't just break the "don't port around WoL without consent" rule that only Elidibus has ever deigned to break before (I think), he BODY SWAPS her in the process. I could immediately hear Besany's character voice in my head throwing every curse and swear she'd ever learned from Sicard on the journey over straight at him for it.

And then Zenos does his possession trick and disappears. I melted into a puddle of "oh god why" followed by "the scions and everyone are all in immediate danger and won't know it" because I completely forgot that Y'shtola and her aether-sight was a thing.

The ensuing sequence where we have to fight/stealth through the city and make it back, and the citizens and the explosion... I knew deep down that I was never in danger of losing because PC power but damn, they really had me worried.

Then the last minute realization, the save, the "wait a minute, who ARE you?" looks, all of it. I have never appreciated all the advances in animation tech in this game more than when I could visibly see the relief on G'raha and Alisae's faces when WoL woke up after it all was over.

My GOD I cannot wait to write this. I'll come back to this post when I start writing Endwalker in like 8 years to remind myself.

Also, Babil is wild and the Anima fight was a trial in and of itself. I loved tanking it.

a friend of mine reblogged from you and the url piqued my interest (big ffxiv nerd) please tell me about your catgirl

thank you SO much for asking (i will put many pictures of her under a read more but theres also one in my pfp :))

i forgot to put her name in the post so im putting it here. shes yarns sappha (probably gonna change it when i inevitably fantasia because shes become more of her own character and less of an "i am playing the game" self insert)

also disclaimer im only a little bit into stormblood so anything i say could very much be contradicted by info i havent learned yet

second disclaimer im in fucking ffxiv withdrawal right now because i dont have my mouse and im waiting until i go home for break so i can make my parents pay for it

my current backstory for her is that she was some type of guard at whatever nerd place alphinaud and alisae and krile came from (i forgor the name) (the wiki says sharlayan i should have known) i kind of just chose this arbitrarily lmao. i dont currently have a lot of story for her in my head apart from that and the fact that she is a Woman Liker.

i started with lancer for her because on previous characters i knew that i liked playing conjurer but i feel like i always play conjurer so i wanted to do something else that would let me start conjurer pretty soon

i think monk might honestly be my favorite class to play either that or bard- i feel like monk allows me some more flexibility in that i have like 3 main options per rotation (and also i really like the thunderclap ability lmao) but bard is fun because its like ohohohoho look at how much damage i can do with mages ballad + bloodletter >:)

i currently have all the base game classes except thaumaturge because i didnt like it when i tried it on another character (probably gonna try again with it at some point though). i started with healing but i realized i really fuck with tanking also (and it lets me dress up as a cowboy with an axe)

ANYWAYS. pictures now. (tumblr kinda ate the quality ngl)

my halloween outfit :) i think thats still my whm/sch glam

i just love this crouching pose

this is my dark knight outfit i like it a whole lot

i just saw this while i was looking through screenshots we love transgenderism

this is my astrologian fit :) ive been playing ast a lot

someone said this about my pld glam i owe them my life (image below) (it was intended to be a lesbian glam) (idk if you can see its a hawaiian shirt, sunhat, and shorts)

anyways i dont blame you if you didnt make it this far but again thanks so much for asking :) im normal and not autistic about this game at all /s

Some more FFXIV thoughts:

I think this might become a series, actually.

With this post I actually want to talk about how women are written and handled in the story. I'll probably write separate posts for most of them at one point or another, but with this post I'll go over the more general thoughts I have.

The biggest criticism I probably have for how the story writes women is that so many female characters are killed off.

I think they are killed off in satisfying ways, completing their character arcs and stories in satisfying ways, but so many are just written with the end point in mind to be killed off.

Y'sayle, Yotsuyu, Minfilia and Venat are fantastic characters with if not massive plot significance, then at least powerful stories.

Much effort is put into depth when they are there (well, with Minifilia, we have to wait for that a little bit), but with that kind of story writing, their focus is limited to designated sections of story.

Alisae, Y'shtola, Ryne, Lyse, Krile and Tataru are the only ones that show up for fairly large swathes of story.

But at the same time, there are many male characters that are written out of swathes of story, too.

For example, Estinien was basically gone for all of Stormblood and Shadowbringers.

Thancred was barely there in Heavensward and Stormblood.

I'd argue all of the ancients had their arcs and now we're done with them. (At least I very much hope they are, I feel like giving them more screentime beyond tying up the remaining loose ends would feel unnatural and take away from the weight of their characters. Also please let Zenos finally stay dead.)

In fact, most of the individual crew from previous expansions at most get little cameos and are written out in much the same way any of the female characters are, which is to say focused on in sections of story, the difference is that there are much fewer female characters and female characters well, as said are killed, so it sticks out.

If we look at deaths in general, we have Haurchefant, Nidhogg and Thordan to balance out Y'sayle in Heavensward for example, but Lucia and Y'sayle are the only truly prominent female characters in that story and this exapnds to all the other expansions.

Stormblood had a balance in letting Lyse, Krile and Fordola live in comparison to Yotsuyu and Asahi is the companion death to Yotsuyu.

Endwalker is especially obvious with Emet, Hermes and Hytlodeus balancing out Venat's death.

It's probably the biggest issue with the female character writing I have, but there is also so much good in here.

This story makes me happy because it defies so many female character tropes/stereotypes.

I love that the Oracle of Light is dual-wielding daggers (Ryne and Gaia are both really cool, also Gunbreaker Ryne incoming?), I love that Urianger's archtypal childhood friend is an axe-wielding scholar. I love that Lucia and Lyna get to be cool fighters AND have feelings. Zero goes under there, too. Fordola's redemption arc and inner conflict are fantastic. Alisae's journey to become her own person with separate principles and someone with a strong will to do good is great.

Venat has a motherly aspect to her character and is the goddess of light, but is also an incredibly powerful fighter.

Yotsuyu's archtype is often so poorly done because female characters of her archtype turn out to either be just a crazy woman or turn good after a scene or two of someone being nice to her, but the empathy surrounding her situation and the struggle surround her identity is so powerful and most of all, substantial.

I think her dying actually respects her as a villain because despite of all of her suffering, she was still a horrible person and I'm happy the narrative didn't downplay that.

I love that Lyse is allowed to not be as intelligent as others because it's so unique among the main cast in general. Her arc is about learning tact and restraint and becoming more confident in herself. She's allowed to be frustrating and say dumb stuff. She's such a breath of fresh air as a character. I take issue with some of the execution of those aspects at the start of Stormblood, but I'll leave a more detailed analysis of her character to another post.

Final Fantasy 14 lets women have feelings and weaknesses without removing their strengths and generally avoids putting them in specific boxes and I appreciate that a lot.

There are so many great, fun side characters, too!

Drusilla from the Reaper questline. Cirina and Sadu. All of the female characters among the twelve gods. Nashu is fantastic comic relief. Barbariccia has a really neat backstory with a surprising amount of depth in just a few cutscenes. Emilliance is a great mom. Nidhana is a great inquisitive scientist character.

How about Giott and her drinking habits and dirty mouth?

Merwyb's arc about taking responsibility for the past and taking steps to fix the racial divide in Vylbrand/Limsa is fantastic.

How about that Tataru's Grand Endevour series or the entire Eureka storyline for Krile?

And I feel like if there is sexualisation, I feel like it's usually in good fun. Though there are a few instances where it's a little less fun and more wierd.

The game has a way of making really entertaining base personalities for characters and that absolutely does translate to its female cast.

Now if you'd write fewer to be killed and either make a few more mainstays or give more consistent relevance to the mainstays you have, that'd just be great.

I think there could be stuff to do with Krile, Y'shtola and Ryne and Gaia in particular.

The thing with the story of this game is that I never even expected to like any of the characters ever because it starts out so simple. Whenever I revisit sections they always end up more substantial than I remember.

Like, how about Dulia-Chai defying the whole overweight, 'ugly' evil person trope?

I appreciate that although Tesleen was another character to be killed, she gets enough depth to her to make her an actual character with feelings and principles.

And then there's stuff where the story just tells gender to fuck off.

Like this year's Valentine's Day event or the Dotharl or Omega. Or the non-binary faes. Not perfect, either, but I just enjoy the accepting and respectful vibes because there is so much unnatural 'checkmark writing' around this stuff currently. You never actually know, but it absolutely at least feels like whoever writes this story actually believes in it.

But that might just be material for even more posts.

Hi! Played further. On a field trip now in the market town. Fought a dinosaur, that probably should not have surprised me. Had to get uhhh, an Imperial Carrot from a farmer for the priest. My team commented on its color and versatility. Good times. Alicia(?) finally stopped being openly hostile about that one time when SHE fell boobs first on my face, yay. Also learned that Malfoy's, i mean Jusis's dad's a shitty governor. Watch watch watch? *.* Love, TA

Ah, the Celdic Field Study. The first of many, in which our troupe of troublesome teens gets themselves into. Well. Trouble.

SCARY DINOSAURS YEAAAA expect to see those guys again. They're a staple beasty in Trails

Carrots are versatile. And tasty. Especially in stew. Mmm carrot

Ahh yes Alisa. Baby tsundere. Allergic to admitting she's wrong and gets snappy at the first hint of vulnerability. No Rean didn't do anything wrong, yes it took her weeks to get over it, this is normal.

Ah, yes, Jusis's father... you learn more about him and his family on the next field study. Which, incidentally, is one of my favorite chapters in the whole series. That sequence is just. Gold.

Anyways, I have dinner and therefore time, so I'll get in an episode before I have to go to bed!

DARCY TELL US ABOUT AOEDE....

!!! Thank you for asking!!!

Aoede is my Warrior of Light in Final Fantasy 14!! She's on Ultros in Primal. The main classes I play are paladin and machinist, although I'm also leveling up the other tank classes

I'll put info about her below but here's her adventurer plate portrait and a drawing I did of her with her the hairstyle she had in stormblood (I have not yet learned to gpose. but one day I will. then I will take Good Photos)

So! Aoede! To be honest, her name comes from me trying to make my character before my friend logged off for the night and I chose it without looking at the lore for miqo'te, but I've managed to work it into her backstory. I haven't really settled everything in her backstory yet as I'm still working through endwalker, but I'm slowly figuring things out. I've never actually explained one of my character's backstories before, so I apologize if it's a bit awkward;;

Aoede is a 26-year-old (24 at the start of ARR, I figure the story probably takes place over 2 to 3 years) adventurer hailing from Sharlyan; she's an archon with her archon tattoos located between her shoulder blades. She's half-seeker and half-keeper and does have fangs (even though I don't know how to mod and can't add them in the game); her family is originally from Ilsabard and they sent Aoede to Sharlyan so she wouldn't be forced to fight for Garlemald. She writes letters to them regularly, and for most of the story, I figured they were going to be fine because I wasn't really planning for her to have a tragic backstory but. I've gotten to a certain part in endwalker and I really don't think they had a radio. So they might not be okay.

She takes her last name "Labelle" from her guardian in Sharlyan, a middle-aged man named Pascal Labelle, who became a friend of her family when he worked as a gleaner before he became an archon (he's another oc of mine! he's just a nice dude). Pascal basically raised her for a good portion of her life and they have a father-daughter relationship, so she decided to primarily use his family name. Her full last name is Aoede Labelle-Lhellhethi, or Aoede Labelle for short. Her field of study is horticulture, with a specific emphasis on farming in unideal environments, such as places with poor soil or that are constantly snowing.

She took up the sword so she could protect herself while traveling, she never really learned how to use magic so instead focused on swordplay and eventually learning how to use a gun.

Generally speaking, she's a very kind-hearted person who trusts others too easily. She'll go along with almost anything if she thinks the person suggesting it has good intentions, which is sort of how she became a scion. She's naturally a very quiet person with an intense gaze and when she does speak she normally shares her opinion without thinking of the consequences. Aoede also rushes into things head first; she's the kind of person who tries to help others even when it costs her dearly. She becomes much more cautious and to a degree pessimistic after the events of ARR, but her mental health improves slowly throughout the other expansions, even though it does get worse for a while after several events. Out of the scions, she gets along best with Minfilia, G'raha, Krile, Alphinaud, and Alisae. She gets along well with the others, but she doesn't really mesh well with Thancred at times (she just doesn't know how to talk to him and he doesn't really talk to her much, they don't dislike each other).

There's a good bit more but this has already gotten pretty long! I don't think I explained her personality as well as I would have liked, but it's fine. Thank you for asking about her, I love her dearly and one day I hope I can commission some artwork of her.

also I have another ffxiv oc named Deimne Vervloet, his backstory is very very much a work in progress. the only thing I can say for certain is that he's a viera

the inheritance games trilogy final thoughts:

after pulling two all-nighters - for each of the first two books - and learning to manage my time and adding some sleeping hours in-between my tfg reading, i finished my second murder/mystery trilogy that i had no idea involved murder or mystery of the year… i should start reading synopsis 🫡

i’m gonna start off with my biggest issue and easiest thing to rant about lmao, keep an eye out for spoilers

so, here’s my thing with love triangles: if you aren’t going to do you best with it, than maybe it’s better to scrap that idea off instead of half-assing it. i think it was okay in the first book - i even said here how i found myself looking forward those scenes and eating it up - but i feel like everything went down in the second book. to start, i genuinely believe the “who’s avery gonna end with” was answered halfway through that book and everyone kinda knew that, what made the persistence of that topic in the third book annoying and useless.

also, it severely harmed grayson’s arc imo. with avery and james dating, gray was out of the picture except when it came to jameson feeling jealous and making avery angst - in order words: he existed only to help develop their relationship. but saying that was his only purpose in the last book is wrong, because he was keeping his distance from avery, the logical choice was to glue him to eve’s side and bring up his trauma and feelings for emily at every scene he appeared. i also think the whole gray/avery thing got no closure…? there’s not really a moment where they both talk about their feelings for each other to each other, just a loooot of repressing until the very last page of the book.

i think what i want to say is that choosing jameson so soon felt quite… lazy? like. he was the “obvious” choice from the beginning so i thought we would have to work a little bit more to get there, but nah, two kisses and we were already there. pair this with what i said above about the lack of true romantic confrontation between avery and grayson and you can see why i think the author choose the quickest way to the easiest road (which is not to say she didn’t make the right choice, i just don’t like the way it was given to me)

sometimes it felt like the author was really pushing the love triangle agenda when it didn’t even made sense/matched the tone of the story?? i would probably have eaten it up in 2013 but i don’t think the world needs another two-brothers-falling-in-love-for-the-same-girl-for-second-time-in-a-way-that-would-make-you-think-they-share-the-same-type-but-they-really-don’t-since-the-first-girl-was-a-cunt-and-the-second-one-is-an-angel story when that spot is forever taken by tvd.

now, about the characters:

i really don’t have much to say 😭 i wasn’t head over heels for anyone and i also wasn’t in the murder mode for anyone (well, maybe for vincent blake’s misogynistic ass and i wouldn’t say no to punching skye in the face). avery is a good main character, the hawthorne brothers are all nice - xander is probably my favorite, if i’d to pick one. libby 100% deserves more pages, as did max. alisa is a good character to have in a book because she’s easy to bring out doubts at the readers (is she trustworthy, is she a threat, is she selfish, is she telling the truth). oren is the goat and i’m surprised avery didn’t end the book by mentioning how he’s lowkey a father figure to her. i think thea and rebecca were written very bidimensional- thea’s a girl boss, rebecca doesn’t think she’s enough, they’re in love, the end.

about the riddles:

definitely not obvious. comparing to the mysteries in tgggtm, for example, i think they were way harder to decipher. i think the only ones i beforehand were toby being adopted, toby not being avery’s biological dad and liam not being just some random dude and bring somehow related to toby’s abduction 😭 tobias hawthorne’s final explanation that he chose avery to inherit everything because he could deal with her dying as a consequence of his actions but couldn’t risk any of the boys suffering with it made sense and i think it was the most reasonable motive.

abatina : is there anything in life your muse has changed their mind about over time ( due to becoming more educated on the topic , certain experiences , etc . ) , or that they would change their mind about under certain circumstances ? (Luna) 🐰

botanical headcanons // accepting . . .

Murder. Or more accurately, "justified murder." Jin keeps going back and forth on whether murder is sometimes justified or not. He was raised pacifistic by his mother, but... after seeing the damages caused by Kazuya, Heihachi, and his devil, Jin does wonder if some people really do deserve to die. Therefore, he frequently feels conflicted about this. He went from thinking murder is bad, to murder is justified, to murder is bad, to murder is justified, and again - to murder is probably bad. Despite having been previously homicidal before defeating his father, Jin will do anything he can to refrain from killing. Hell, it's another reason why he's giving his devil a second chance. He's trying to take after his mother, again.

And Ninjas. Jin used to have no respect for Ninja, or at the very least, the concept of ninja. He may like the anime Naruto, but Ninja in real life were notorious to having no honor and doing whatever, especially the dirty deeds of people who didn't want to stain their honor. Whilst Jin still doesn't like what ninja were in history, or the initial concept, he no longer disapproves of everyone who practices ninjutsu. This is due to meeting good people like Yoshimitsu, Raven, and Victor. Kunimitsu is still on thin fucking ice tho.

His entire view on humanity. To be fair, the reason why Devil even hated humanity in the first place was because it was "hardwired coding" programmed into by Azazel when creating devils. Devil himself was meant to be Azazel's wrath against humanity's sins. So when Jin removed all of Azazel's influence on Devil via purification, Devil's hatred for humanity vanished. Devil is now curious about humanity, and willing to see them as more than just "sinners" or "creatures to be ruled." He'd like to understand them better, and to help them, too.

Devil still doesn't like robots much (sorry Alisa) but unlike before... he is also still willing to learn about them and how they can gain sentience. He just... understands them even less than humanity right now.

Closing Doors pt1

Hi Leta, I've decided to start putting names in this blog because my memory isn't so good and from reading older posts I'm not sure who I'm referring to in some posts (which is kind of scary and embarrassing) though I know I'll never forget that I'm writing about you in this post. Before I get started I can't believe it's been six years since I've last posted here! Kind of crazy that my emotions felt in check enough that I didn't feel the need to write anything and boy was it cringy reading some of my old posts but at the same time it also helped me know that I would be able to get through this situation. A lot has happened in the past 6 years and despite not posting it here I've experienced deep feelings ranging from loneliness, love, lust, completeness, anxiety, stress, happiness, annoyance, frustration, and so much more. I'm glad-ish to be back here though I wish it were under better circumstances. Also reading through my old posts, I can't believe I wrote ~6 posts about Alisa, what a wild learning experience and time to be alive. I wish I wrote some posts while we were together to remember all the great times so this blog wouldn't be just the sad/tougher times of my life.

I knew this day would come, that you were way more likely to move on before I was. Ironically Kyle quoting 'Don't be sad about what you lost, but be grateful for what you had' about something totally irrelevant to us is the attitude I'm trying to best adopt. I've mostly used this blog to vent and as a way to release any negative emotions or thoughts so just the fact that I didn't post anything about you during the past 3 years shows how healthy of a relationship we had/have. I know I'm supposed to be remembering why we broke up as a way to help me move on emotionally but my emotions are overriding my ability to remember the reasons or to consider them valid. The only reason I can think of right now is that I know you're not looking for a long term partner so even if we got back together we eventually would most likely break up again. Despite knowing that, if you were to move to Vegas today or decide to join my climbing circuit tour I would 100% date you again at this moment. You are my safe space, my home, and there's no one else that I feel more comfortable being my self around. You are probably the only person who I feel like has truly accepted me as a whole despite my flaws. I always appreciated that you never tried to change me, but you cared so much about wanting the best for me and encouraging me to live up to my potential so I could have even more happiness. When we first started dating and I found out you were a personality type 1 I was super nervous that you would hold me to an impossibly high standard and we'd have a toxic relationship like I did with my college ex. Instead you saw positive attributes in me that I didn't see in myself and always lifted me up. After my last relationship I thought I was incapable of being in a healthy relationship because I was too selfish and unworthy. In reality I was probably too scared to jump into something again and if it weren't for you pushing us to try something together I would have missed out on 3 wonderful years of growth, love, and making core memories together. I've told you this before but after Alisa I became an anxious/avoidant mess and you built me up to be secure again and made me a better person. Even when things rarely weren't perfect and I was annoyed at the pace of how you lived life or felt like I wasn't getting enough attention, it still felt so natural and at home being with you.

I think I'm really struggling to let go because I really don't want us to become strangers again. It's hard for me to even remember a time in Chicago that we weren't close and you've brought me the most joy out of anyone/thing over the past 6 years. I'm really holding onto this quote that 10.5 years ago that I blogged was BS but I really want to believe that this will hold true with you

“Well, I think that when you have a connection with someone it never really goes away you know, you snap back to being important to each other because you still are” -Alex Vaus

Most of me is ready to transition into being back to platonic friendship with you but even through a good chunk of our friendship I had a crush on you. I believe that we're not going to be faking any sort of friendship and whatever our relationship develops into next will be genuine. It's going to be hard for me emotionally, but I really do want to transition into being legitimate good friends and think that's possible over time.

All this to say that I'm starting to move on, but not moved on enough to fully close the door. At this point if you wanted to jump back into limbo I would agree to do so in a heartbeat even though I know that's not the best option. The door is closing, but as of today there's still a crack and even when it is closed I'll leave it unlocked.