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#post azkaban sirius x reader
xreaderbooks · 6 months
Text
Angelic
Pair: Sirius Black x Reader
Summary: Sirius doesn't feel himself after his time in Azkaban and you reassure him.
Based off of this request
Warnings: post-azkaban, insecurity, low self-esteem, fluff, comfort
Word Count: 1.6k
Wattpad | AO3
Sirius Black Masterlist | Navigation | HP\Wizarding World Masterlist
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Looking at him and the way he transformed back from his animagus form, he looked like a shell of his old self, as if someone had stolen something from him and he didn't know how to ask for it back.
You stood frozen, not sure whether to strangle him into a hug until he was suffocated from your love or wait and see if he would even want you to touch him.
There he was, Sirius Black, on the front steps of the home you had both picked out after graduating from Hogwarts.
"Y/n?" His voice croaked out. "Say something, please."
The only thing that escaped your lips was a sob as tears streamed down, you gave into your inhibitions and ran to him, throwing your arms around his shoulders. He caught you the same way he always had with the same hug you always gave him when you were excited to see him after a whole summer apart, or whenever you passed a test and were overly anxious to tell him.
His arms circled your waist in the same familiar way you had almost forgotten.
"I love you, I believed you, I never stopped believing" You cried into the crook of his shoulder. You needed him to know that. You pushed back all the memories of the conversations and debates you had with Remus and other members of the Order who believed Sirius was guilty.
He gently pulled you away from him, taking you in from the last twelve years he saw you, murmuring as he stroked your tear-stained cheeks "I love you more, darling."
"Come in," You entwined your hands to guide him into your once-shared home, a home he barely had time in. "The place is pretty much the same."
"Your taste hasn't changed," He took in the decorations and furniture of the house.
You let your hand fall from his and nervously fiddled with your fingers as he looked around, "Hope you don't mind."
A half chuckle- half sob escaped from Sirius, "Of course not, love." He swiped his nose with the sleeve of the black and white striped prison robes. "What I do mind is you seeing me in this wretched state, I assume the bath hasn't changed?"
"Same as it's always been, let me grab you a towel and some fresh clothes." You rush off to the bedroom where you had kept Sirius's old clothes in a box and a closet where you store all the extra household items.
You heard the shower running from the thin walls and took a moment to gather your thoughts. He was back, he was not a murderer. He was back and he still loved you. You took a few deep breaths despite your heart still racing at the sight of him.
~~~
Weeks had gone by since he had escaped from Azkaban and waking up next to him in the same bed had not felt real.
Weeks turned to months and life had taken a turn for, what could be considered the best.
What brought you to reality was the nightmares you would coax Sirius out of, something you were used to doing even before Azkaban unfortunately. The only difference was there was nothing you could tell him now that could comfort him.
What did help was the fact that Harry knew the truth now and the reunion between Remus and Sirius had gone well. As amazing as that was, Sirius wasn't himself.
He lacks the flair he used to have; not that you minded, whatever made Sirius happy- made you happy. Whatever made him upset, equally affected you as much. You noticed Sirius has been trying to follow a routine in the same way he used to.
Tried the same hair products he used to use, it ended up with his hair sticking out in odd ways that frustrated him to no end, if he didn't love his long hair so much he would've shaved it all off.
Sirius attempted to style himself the way he once did and your shared room was littered with mountains of his clothes.
The results would put him in a foul mood.
"What's wrong, love?" It was one of Sirius' more difficult days. He didn't communicate his thoughts, he kept it all to himself and stayed moody for the rest of the day until he returned to his normal state of being.
He appeared to be zoned out, lost in thought, leaning on the counter in the kitchen with his arms crossed. He shook his head, "Nothing. Just thinking."
You broke through his arms, your fingers threaded through his hair, and he relinquished his hold to settle his hands on your hips. "Mind if I ask you what you were thinking of?"
He stayed silent for a moment, then two, inhaling a shaky breath.
"Am I as handsome as I once was?"
The question would have made you laugh if it wasn't for the poor-kicked puppy look he had. Sirius was rarely one to be insecure, it had you at a loss for words.
Your eyes scanned his, then the rest of his features. The curve of his naturally dark eyebrows, that matched his raven black hair. The perfectly shaped nose, and lips that you never got tired of tasting. His skin, smooth and the light freckles scattered on his face looked like a constellation.
It was true that he had aged, but as you had always expected, his age didn't take away from his beauty. A decade and a couple of years weren't going to take that from him like he was blessed by a god.
"Sirius, you have been and always will be beautiful to me," You confessed. You kissed both his cheeks, "You're more than beautiful, you're angelic."
You catch his eyes as he ducks his head shyly with a smile creeping onto his lips and give him a small peck.
He runs his hand through his hair and releases a breath while looking at the ceiling to keep the tears from running, "Thank you, love. I just haven't felt like myself since, well, you know. Nothing has felt the same, except for you." He squeezes your hips and brings you in for a tight hug.
"No need to thank me, Siri, I'm just happy you finally told me what was wrong." You kissed the side of his head and enjoyed the warmth of his neck before pulling back. "I'm sorry I don't tell you enough, should've known what was wrong by the constant outfit changes."
He chuckled, and you echoed his laughter. His smile dies slowly and he admires you in a way that has always intimidated you, the weight of his stare is heavy, "I suppose insecurity is the cost of having a goddess as a girlfriend."
His lips crashed onto yours and moved with such a consuming want and need for you. All of his kisses were loving and filled with a combination of emotions but this one took you back.
A nervous giggle escapes you, "Sirius-" You mumble his name against his mouth that continues to pursue yours.
"Yes?" He answered after you were unresponsive. He opened his eyes and stared at you, "I'm being perfectly serious."
"No, I am," You insist placing your hands on his shoulders.
He moved into your neck and trailed kisses down to the crook between your shoulder and neck, "I wouldn't be too sure of that."
You tried your best to ignore the fluttering in your stomach that was traveling lower with each suck and bite he gave you. "How about we do something haven't done in a while?"
"A while? Just the other day we-" He appeared puzzled when he pulled his head back.
"Not that!" You shook your head. "Come."
You lead him to the couch and gently push him down to sit, you then go into your bathroom and search through the drawers until you find what you were looking for. Back in the living room, you set down the materials you gathered and turned on the muggle television to whatever was on.
"What are you up to?" Sirius asked.
You pulled out the black nail polish from the pouch you held the paint bottles in and tossed his way with a last-minute 'Catch'.
"We're starting with this."
He lifts a brow, "Starting?"
"I'm helping you get back to feeling more like yourself," You sit on the couch, laying your legs across his lap, and bring his hands to settle atop your knees. "That's only if you want to, I just want to help and if you don't want to then we can find another way, nail polish was just a go-to back then."
You would've continued to ramble if not for him kissing you, being back with Sirius had brought back the little school girl in you that you had lost throughout the war, then again- he's always been able to bring out a different side of you.
"I want to," His voice was quick and encouraging.
"Good," You tapped his nose which made him scrunch it up. As you began coating his nails with a base, you felt a bit of courage to confess something you'd held in during the early years of your relationship. "You know at Hogwarts when we got together, some girls Marlene hung out with told me I wasn't good enough to be with someone like you."
"Someone like me?"
You hummed, brushing on the first coat of the black polish to the first dried base-coated finger. "Handsome, gorgeous, god-like."
Sirius tilted his head back and laughed, "God-like."
"Their words, not mine but looking at you now after all those years, they weren't wrong."
"They were wrong about you," He mumbled, laying his forehead against the side of your head and into your hair. "My perfect, pretty girl."
"And you're wrong about yourself," You took a pause on the painting and stroked his cheek. "I love you."
"I love you."
~~~
a/n: I actually really don't like this, i had a good idea in my head of what i wanted this to look like and over time i guess i losit it? i feel like i could have done a better job if writers block wasn't in the way but i didn't wanna take longer than i already have writing this request. lemme know what you think :)
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cursedmoon-doll13 · 8 months
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Blackhearted
(Sirius Black x Reader)
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Cw: Noncon, Angst, Smut, Afab Reader, Dark!Sirius, PnV Sex, Somnophilia, Unprotected Sex, Fingering, Crying, Forced Orgasm, Tender But Nasty™️, References to Alcohol Abuse, Reader has head + pubic hair, this got kinda bleak and depressing
READ WITH CAUTION
Word Count: 3.5k
Summary: 12 Grimmauld Place is a miserable home.
But for now, it is yours. A lost and vulnerable soul, you find refuge in the owner of the house; a man as troubled as yourself. Unbeknownst to you, he’s sunken his teeth in far deeper; clutching onto you like a lifeline, and the dark, harrowing isolation of winter may drive him to commit acts unforgivable…
Ao3 || Masterlist || Dividers by @/saradika
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In mid-February, it’s so cold, so desolate, it reminds him of sharp, icy fingers, clamping down on— His childhood home, decrepit with neglect and age, is the last place Sirius ever hoped to return to. It’s lost, crumbling into undignified ruins, deteriorating into filth. With his pest of a house elf still clinging to the old family values, it’s properly gone to the dogs, and he’d gladly let them pick off the carcass. 
But now you’re hiding alongside him - not by choice - you’ve taken it upon yourself to try and ‘fix it up.’ Sirius almost scoffs at the mere thought of it— At you, whose nose wrinkles distastefully at the grime and mould that gracefully adorns his kitchen. You don’t understand that the disease has progressed far beyond the point of recovery. It’s everywhere; it’s in the air you breathe, in the walls, in the carpet. It’s lurking inside the very infrastructure, festering like cancerous growth. The Most Ancient and Noble House of Black, haunted by its rotting opulence: the decaying decor, the cursed, priceless artefacts, the tattered, hateful portraits, courtesy of mum. 
Sirius, who has long since forgotten the luxury of owning his own clothes, wraps himself in the same mothball ridden finery his father died in. Sometimes he feels— He’s eaten alive by the fabric. By vestiges of the past. It still stinks of stale drink, and on nights like these, Orion’s son glares down at the bottom of an empty wine bottle, and thinks that he might be following in his footsteps after all.
On a night like this, the aged floorboards squeak under his heels as he prowls the dilapidated halls. Sirius’ stalking route leads to you, as it usually does, far past midnight. Your bedroom door is sealed tightly shut - probably to keep the heat in - but you never lock it. As if he isn’t dangerous. 
Gripping the weathered knob, he twists it, and lets himself in. The dim, yellowy glow of the gaslamp bolted to the corridor wall is his only light, flickering as it pours into the musty guest room he’s lent you. Sirius lingers on the precipice, his fingers still curled around the handle, sobering up rapidly. 
Blinking slowly, he looks down at you. 
You’re lying on your side, both arms grasping the pillow, dressed in that novelty pyjama set (‘to ward off the draught,’ was the unspoken function of it) Tonks had gifted you for Christmas; a sort of consolation prize. Greatest sympathies, to prepare you for the sordid husk you’ll now inhabit— With him, no less, a man you thought at first to be a killer.
And you, well… You’ve been left skittish from whatever you’re on the run from. He reckons that’s why you’ve latched onto him so powerfully, hoping this unredeemed convict will see fit to protect you from the isolation and the horrors. To help fill the long stretches of time when it’s just been the both of you to keep each other company. Sirius can’t deny his own strong attachment towards you. 
Your presence is comforting, and he’s fallen deeply. Too deeply. It’s why he so often finds himself standing here, watching over you. Sirius envies you, the peaceful sleeper. But he also covets you; if only you’d stay and lay beside him, to heal wounds never spoken of… But he doesn’t know how to ask. 
Silently, he crosses the boundary. 
Rising over your unconscious form, he lifts the quilt, a heavy, lumpy thing, and tentatively rests his knee on the mattress. You sleep peacefully on, even as the rusty old bed-springs squeak underneath him. Sirius slides his exhausted body in behind you, and the dark mass of his own scraggly black hair spills over the cushion. For a moment, he lies there, unmoving and quiet. Even at this safe, chaste distance, your body heat, radiating off you in gradual waves, is enough to soothe the permanent chill that’s seeped into his bones… Sirius can’t resist. He shifts, before placing his forefinger over your throat. 
Sirius can feel your pulse, throbbing with blood; you’re a real, flesh and blood human, warm and alive. Merlin, he’s been deprived for so long, a strong vein feels like it’s a lifeline. This is all he’s ached for, but— No... No. He’s already overstepped a line, one he shouldn’t have ever— He needs to stop, he needs to leave, now, before this all goes too far and he ruins it; ruins you, as he knows he inevitably will. 
But he doesn’t. Sirius’ breath catches in his throat as he tilts his chin ever-so-slightly, and he presses his cold mouth against your exposed nape. You twitch, but do not stir. Sirius licks his dry lips and swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down, as he nudges down the fleeced collar of your pyjama shirt with his thumb. The slope of your neck is covered in fine, delicate hairs, and he can’t help but smile affectionately down at you. Your defenceless state is sweetly endearing. To be so close to you like this, almost holding you, tender as lovers. 
Sirius hesitates, then, squeezing his eyes shut as he endures the lurch of churning revulsion in his gut (he shouldn’t be doing this, he shouldn’t—), he leans forward and plants a string of wet kisses over your bare flesh. So human, so vulnerable… You twitch again, shivering as the ticklish brush of his whiskers rubs lightly over your naked skin. Shame burns like acid in his stomach; but his need for you burns brighter, hotter than fire now, all-consuming… He heaves a jagged sigh, and, unable to stop himself, drags the starving flat of his tongue over your neck, lapping up hungry stripes of perspiration. Sirius tightens his grip on you and shudders with relief— He’s finally quenched his thirst, if only a little. Your intoxicating scent, your taste… 
He’s stolen things, too, before this; he’s not proud of it, but he’s done it. It’s convenient enough to blame it on Kreacher, who hoards all sorts of objects in the first place… What is the difference, really, between the Black family heirlooms and soiled knickers from the wicker basket? No, It hasn’t been so hard to convince you it was Kreacher; to lie and to fib— his old, senile house elf is simply a raging kleptomaniac… You trust him so much… And now Sirius has gone and betrayed that trust entirely. 
Merlin, he needs to stop, he needs to… This should be enough… No, it’s not enough… It’s never enough, he’s barely touched you… Sirius groans feebly into the nape of your neck, slipping the palm of his hand under your nightshirt, desperate for your sacred, lifesaving heat, just a little bit— And then he’ll stop, immediately— just a tiny bit more… You shiver once more, twitching repeatedly as the pads of his fingertips skim over your stomach, still asleep… Sirius brushes his lips over your throat again, as he locks you in wiry arms, inching up your shirt, exposing you to the dark and cold. He traces the slats of your ribs, searching further, until he comes to knead coyly at your breast, teasing your nipple. He dips, finding the steady rhythm of your heartbeat, thumping robustly… Proof of life. 
And you’re definitely real, aren’t you? Not a hallucination, not some illusion… He’s sleepless for the nightmares, but the dreams are always worse, because they remind Sirius of everything he can’t have, not ever again… But he can have you. This stray thought, forceful and insidious, leaks into the dark recesses of his brain. Yes, He can have you— It’s his house, his rules, isn’t it? 
Fuck, he’s disgusting. The realisation of what he’d just conceived of, even momentarily, assaults him with a new stab of remorse. Sirius flinches away, pulling his offending hand out of your pyjamas; but the damage has already been done. By now, he’s pressed flush against you, leeching off your comforting warmth, and his dick is straining tightly against his trousers. Merlin… He’s perverse. 
He throws his forearm over his eyes, blinding himself. Sirius intended for this to be a wholesome encounter, to be sweet and innocent. And now… Have all those years of degradation truly rotted him to the core? Is this what he’s become now? A lustful wretch? This has gone too far, too far— He should leave— 
But now, Sirius has known your touch, and it’s embedded itself parasitically into his mind. He’s swiftly hurtling into addiction; he can’t settle for mere table scraps— To retreat with his tail between his legs, only to find a cold and lonely bed, would be unbearable... Sirius rattles a breath, grasping onto that frayed rope of inherited entitlement he’d meant to cut off a decade ago— He deserves this one thing, surely, after a life of torment… Right? 
You twitch again, mumbling incoherently. Sirius grimaces. He needs to be careful… You might be a heavy sleeper, but he’s already disturbed you too much. If you wake up screaming… He wouldn’t like to think of what he might do. But he’ll stop— He’ll stop after this, he swears it to himself, licking his lips, feeling harder and hungrier than ever. 
Sirius’ forearm props up your leg for him to gain enough access, spreading your thighs open. It’s awkward, but he manages. He tugs down the waistband of your pyjama bottoms, just a bit, so he can touch you, feel you so close to him… Sirius’ hand brushes over a soft tuft of your pubic hair, and he twitches a faint smile… So endearingly vulnerable, before dipping his fingers into your pussy. 
You’re not aroused, but the heat of your core is enough to satisfy him, if only temporarily. Sirius hasn’t done anything like this for a long time; it feels unfamiliar, like all human contact does. He nudges away the curls, tracing your labia, before recalling the shape and form of it, and gently rubbing your clitoris. Fondness, mixed in with his sickening shame, rushes into him, and he presses his lips to your nape again, pleading and soothing like an apology. 
Then, Sirius bites his tongue, justifies himself with the excuse of repaying you with sweet dreams, and pushes his index finger deeper inside your pussy. He hums quietly, indulging in your little twitches, the way your walls flutter around him. It’s not particularly romantic to pleasure you without receiving consent, but lying back-to-chest in the darkness, planting scorching kisses down your neck, he can use his mind to fill in the gaps. Easing out his intruding hand, Sirius tastes the heady flavour of your slick— Merlin. He licks his fingers greedily, drenching them in spit, before plunging them back into your warm cunt, spreading wetness over your folds. 
You let out a sleepy whimper at his touch, and he pauses, going completely stiff with alarm. But— But you haven’t woken up… And now he’s uncontrollable, beyond all morality, relishing in your soft, breathless gasps as he toys with your clit, his damp fingers sliding easily in and out of your pussy. You moan faintly, and the noise vibrates straight to his cock. He’s throbbing, now... Groaning, he forces down his guilt and remorse, discarding them as trite, worthless things. You’re enjoying it, aren’t you? Though you’re still fast asleep— Yes, maybe you’ve hoped for this all along… Secretly. Secretly. Of course, you’ve just been too embarrassed to admit it, but that’s fine… Right now, you’re all his. 
But that’s still not enough. 
Sirius knows what he truly needs; to bury himself inside of you, to merge with you entirely, to steal your warmth for himself— This aching desire, it’s wrong, so revoltingly wrong, but so is he; the entire expanse of flesh covering his body feels like prison, mired in filth, and he’ll never be clean again… He only wishes you could alleviate his pain— Oh, but you can, Sirius will find solace in your heat even if he has to take it from you. He grinds his palm against his temple as he decides. He fights it, but his selfishness wins… Yes, he needs it, needs you— Fuck, he’s about to do something unforgivable, commit a genuine offence; but he’ll make it up to you, of course he will— 
Sirius carefully shuffles down your pyjama bottoms until they’re bunched up around your ankles, followed by your moist panties. He shifts, now painfully hard and weeping in his trousers, and allows your thigh to fall momentarily to unbutton them and release his erection. Rigid and leaking precum, his dick falls over your ass. He readjusts his position on the bed and strokes himself roughly, before hooking his forearm around your leg and lifting it. You jerk unceremoniously and mumble, stirring, but he ignores you— He’s too close, he’s gone too far now… Gritting his teeth, Sirius guides his cock into you, finding you elusive and slippery in the dark, but— The slick of your folds sliding along his length feels heavenly. Sirius licks his lips, smearing precum over your inner thighs, and finally enters you. 
He stifles a raspy moan into your neck. The hug of your tight, wet heat is almost overwhelming— Shuddering, he wholly eases himself inside you. Merlin, you feel so perfect around him… Sirius, gasping rapturously, begins to move, savouring every long, torturous drag against your gummy walls. You’re rousing, now, slurring confused murmurs— “What, what’s going on, hm…”
Sirius doesn’t miss the flutter of lashes, a sharp intake of breath— But he continues, regardless, thrusting in slow, tender arcs. Flinching, you let out a strangled, high-pitched noise, and that’s how Sirius knows you’re truly awake— But he’ll make it up to you, he will— he spreads your thighs wide, to penetrate further, sucking affectionate bites into your neck as he ravishes your quivering body. You tremble and shriek, and your panicked struggling fills him with guilty regret. But he needs this now, he needs you now, he’s been alone for too long— And he’s not going to stop until he’s finished taking you… Feverish, Sirius’ other forearm digs underneath the pillow you’re clutching onto, white-knuckled. He tightens his grip on you before he sinks in deeper, spearing into your intimate core
You whimper, spasming involuntarily. Sirius rumbles with approval, his lips still latched onto your throat. He grabs your thigh firmly, bracing himself against the old headboard. He growls and snaps his hips upward, hitting that delicious spot over and over, trying to elicit more of those sweet noises from you. Even if you’re being frustratingly reticent - too shy, he pretends - you’re still unable to muffle your cries, twitching and writhing in his relentless grasp.
The bed creaks noisily as he hastens his pace, showering wet kisses on your rapidly bruising flesh. His movements are heated and urgent now, growing increasingly desperate— Now he’s inside you, he must fill you utterly— He longs to feel alive with you, slipping a hand down towards where you join together and connect, feeling the way his cock effortlessly slides in and out of your pussy. He dips further to rub harshly at your clit, and you whine, arching. Sirius strokes you mercilessly, his wrist cramping from the awkward positioning— 
But it doesn’t matter, you’re spurring him on with your ecstatic moans, croaky with tears. He doesn’t let up, teasing in sloppy, frantic circles as he bucks into you, revelling in the stickiness of your skin against his; the lewd, wet sound of flesh-on-flesh is obscene. Sirius groans hoarsely, his hips jerking and stuttering as your cunt squeezes around his dick with his every forceful thrust— You are enjoying this…    
Fuck, he is too— Hot pleasure jolts up his spine like the tightening of a knot; and you, crying out with loud whimpers as your spongy insides clench and squeeze around him— Sirius can’t take it anymore. He forgoes gentleness, pounding into your cunt with beastly intensity. You choke out a sob, lurching away from him, but he overpowers and holds you down, still abusing your sensitive clit— He’s going to fuck you until you cum, whether you want it or not— And his hungry mouth returns to sink livid, red marks into your neck, teeth grazing your artery. Something in the wooden bed frame cracks ominously— 
But he ignores it, his breathing growing laboured and husky as he slams his hips into you, again and again, forcing you to whine until your voice breaks. You’re shaking violently in his grip— He can sense it, and you’re close, so close— He’s getting sloppier; rapidly approaching orgasm, and your reactions are boiling his blood, whipping up a primal frenzy in his brain— Sirius pinches your clit, and you climax. 
Your euphoric moan chokes into a loud sob. Sirius growls at the way you clench around him, and pins you down with his body weight. His hand slips and pushes your leg up high, fucking you harder still through your orgasmic tremors— He’s following right behind you, on the cusp— You’re impossibly tight—
Merlin, you’re so damn tight— Sirius barely remembers to— He pulls himself out with a heavy groan, and his seed spills messily over the inside of your thigh. Hazy static pours over him, smothering the guilt, the emptiness… As it gradually tapers out, he feels the absence of your heat, of your closeness, and it pangs like the pain of starvation. It takes a moment for him to recover, lying beside you, his face buried in the crook of your neck. Then, he pushes himself up onto his elbow. 
Panting, Sirius’ damp hair clings to his forehead, stinging his eyes. He wipes it, and fog clears, revealing only desecration.
As if murdered, you lie very still— Or try to, but your breathing is ragged and uneven. You’re glistening with orgasmic sweat, chest heaving as he rests your trembling leg back onto the mattress. You jolt, as if hiccuping, still wracked with sobs. Sirius’ heart aches for you— Merlin, no, what has he done?— He wants to take this moment back, but it’s too late now. The only fix he can think of is practical, like ridding a crime scene of evidence… 
Sirius pulls out his wand, flicking shakily, evaporating his cum, but the scent of your lovemaking still lingers, thick in the air. With as much dignity as he’s able to grant you, he tugs your pyjamas and knickers up your hips. He tucks himself in and buttons his trousers, swimming in post-climax numbness. For a few minutes, he resumes his vigil behind you, as if he’d never done it at all. But you’re colder and distant; farther away than he’s ever felt you. Sighing, he gently strokes your hair. You don’t flinch or shiver away from his touch, but lie still, perfectly still… Your tear-stained cheek is still stuck to the damp patch on your pillow. Sirius passes over it deliberately. You’ve been asleep this entire time, blissfully unaware… That’s a lie he’ll peddle for both of your sakes, until this all melts safely into a nightmare.
It’s agony to tear himself away from your warmth, but Sirius knows he’s ruined everything by violating you, and lingering will only hurt you more. He presses one final, adoring kiss to your neck, yearning to embrace you, then slips wordlessly out of bed.
To forbid himself, he uses magic to bolt the lock.
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Morning brings clarity. 
He walks into the kitchen, and the stone tiles clack under his boots, echoing, echoing… You’re there, also, preparing a slow, tedious breakfast.
The silence is heavy. Sirius wants to break it, but the quiet feels impenetrable; a chasm of his own design. For a moment, he frowns, looming uneasily over the dining table, aggravated by the clinking of the jar as you spread jam on your toast, eyes downcast.
Then, he pulls out a rickety chair and sits down. 
You don’t smile at him today. You don’t return his probing gaze. You knife up more slimy jam— Too much, now, and the bread has gone soggy. 
If you’d only burst into tears, he’d gladly take you in his arms to hold you now. Sirius could be your solitary comfort, as you have been his… Only, your new, withdrawn, gloomy state unnerves him. His face darkens… Your bond has truly been broken.
But there’s something else, too. 
Remorse gnawed his flesh until daybreak, and was scarred over by something cruel and hard, burrowing gruesomely inside him like an infection.
He could think of it this way: returning to his old childhood home has done very, very strange things to him. Yes… That’s it. Sirius has never had anything so warm and lovely in this place... And indeed, he’s spent much of his life out of control and powerless… But he does have power over you. It occurs to him abruptly. He does have power over you.  
Sirius leans back in his chair with a squeak. His guilt, hot and shameful, broils fiercely in his gut, but it intertwines with a kind of grim satisfaction. 
It’s his house, his rules… 
So why shouldn’t he have you?
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yrluvjane · 3 months
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ƦƠԼԼƖƝƓ ƬӇЄ ƊƖƇЄ ƛƝƊ ƑԼƖƤƤƖƝƓ ƬӇЄ ƤƛƓЄ (Part 1)
13 Years.
13 Years since the day you believed you lost your husband. 13 years since the day your friends died. 13 Years since the day your family was shadowed in darkness and 13 Years since your life crumbled to ash.
If you had told me, 13 years ago, that there was a chance that I could be in my husband's arms once more, I would've kicked you out the bloody window.
But here you wete, sitting on one of the sofa's in 12 Grimmauld Place; a glass of wine in one hand, trying to wrap your mind of what was happening.
You sat in front of the fire place, it was not lit but it was not the fire that attracted your attention. There was a mess of floo powder all over the floor, coating the edges of the fireplace in grey dirt.
You had been staring at the that for the past two or three hours, your stare turning from one of confusion to curiosity, worry, anger, doubt and hope.
It was around 5 days since Dumbledore apparated outside the wards of your house, in hopes to speak with you about an urgent topic. At first you believed something happened to Harry, that he was hurt or attacked but no if only it was about Harry.
No, Dumbledore had wished to inform you he was in contact with your long, lost husband, Sirius. When he said, the teacup that was reaching for your lips fell and shattered on the ground, spilling the hot liquid and staining the carpet.
Dumbledore only flicked his wand twice for the cup to return to its original state and the stain to vanish; continuing as though he spoke of a new recipe he saw in the British Bake Off.
He told you that Sirius was framed by Peter and that he has been hiding all over Europe in the past two years. When Dumbledore mentioned he knew where Sirius was for two years and 'suspected' he was innocent; you had the sudden urge to smash the teapot over your previous Headmaster's head.
And now you sat, staring at dirt and getting yourself drunk; hoping to avoid your husband, who should arrive any moment now. You downed the rest of your glass and leaned over to refill it just as the door opened.
"I'm fine, Molly." You sighed as you watched the red liquid pout out of the bottle.
You are definitely not fine
A voice commented in your head, it's been 13 years! People change, what if he doesn't love me anymore, or doesn't want me around, what if he doesn't want her.
"I'm not Molly." Harry said sheepishly as he fiddled with his fingers. "May I?"
"Sure. Come on in, make yourself comfortable." You invited as you pulled your blanket and draped it over his legs. "Want a sip?" You asked raising your glass once you caught Harry's eyes. "You'll be legal in a few years and merlin knows what type of things you'll be doing this year."
You definitely were not sober.
"Aunt Y/n!" Harry exclaimed as his face reddened the same shade as his house scarf. "Just be safe, cause if you become a father before the age of 24; I will snap your wand."
Harry stared down in embarrassment and cleared his throat. "I wanted to ask if you're okay."
"Of course I'm okay! Why wouldn't I be okay? I'm going to see my husbsnd for the first time in thirteen year, where he was framed for murder." You replied in a defensive tone, motioning with your hands and heavily swallowing your alcoholic drink.
"Why does everyone think I'm not fine?! I am wonderful. Fan-freakin-tastic. I am super!"
You turned to face Harry's concerned and shocked face and realised you must've sound like a crazy person.
You took a deep breath and motioned for Harry to lean in. He rested his head at your lap as you brushed your fingers over his hair.
"I'm okay, Haz."
"It's just...this may be a lot to handle. I mean I remember when I found out the truth about Peter. I just feel like you meeting Sirius again is as scary as me meeting my parents or something. I think it's alright to be nervous." Harry replied as he played with a loose thread on his jacket.
"I am not nervous."
That was also a lie but you weren't ready to spill all your drunken emotions over to a 15 year old boy.
Harry gave you a look as if to say "really?"
"Shouldn't you be somewhere with Ron talking about Quidditch and girls?" You teased as Harry scoffed.
"If I talked girls with Ron, I'll be lonely the rest of my life."
You let a laugh bubble out of you, Harry soon joining in.
"Is Elle coming over later?" Harry asked after a moment of silence, his face flushing slightly. You chuckled. "Tomorrow morning." You assured him, knowing he had a liking to your 14 year old daughter.
"Are you going to tell Sirius?"
That was the million dollar question, she had to tell him, he was her father, she was his daughter. It would be wrong of her not to tell him.
But she couldn't help wonder, if Sirius didn’t want a child. He always wished to end the Black line. And they never really spoke about having one and maybe he would be to occupied with being Harry's Godfather.
He just got out of prison it would be insane to just bombard him with two teenagers.
"I have to tell him at some point. Though, i am compelled to the idea of leaving and letting them meet each other tomorrow on their own." She suggested, half-joking.
"I'm sure Sirius would be glad to have a daughter. 12 Years in Azkaban, I think some family company could do him well."
She couldn't believe it, 12 years in Azkaban; a soul-sucking prison, reserved for the worst of the worst. The word itself made a shiver run down your spine.
The day of Sirius's imprisonment flashed right before your eyes as though it was a recent memory.
"No! He didn't do it!" You had shouted, the Aurors ignored as they trashed your house. "Mrs. Black-" An Auror began approaching you but you pushed him with your might.
"HE DIDN'T DO IT!" You shouted, you magic flaring and shattering all the windows, a spray of glass showered the ground. '"Mrs. Black if you don't compose yourself right this instant, i will have no choice but to detain you!" The head Auror yelled at you.
You eyes were streaming with tears, the rain from the outside storm began pouring into the the house. The thunder strikes defeaned your ears as you stared at the middle-aged man with nothing but fury in your eyes.
"Get out." You gritted through clenched teeth, you hands fisted at either side of you. "I beg your pardon?" He scoffed.
"Get out of my house!" You snapped, you could feel your magic crackle in the air. The vases, tables and chairs began to shake, the flamws in the fireplace raged shockingly.
The rest of the Aurors stood in their place, unsure with what to do. "You have no authority to tell me what to do!" The Head Auror shouted at you, his wand raised to level with your throat.
With the anger inside of you boiling and reaching its limit, you yelled at the top of your lungs; a surge of magic rushing out as it exploded all your vases and glassware. The couches, chairs and tables all flying out of their place and hitting against the wall.
A moment of silence rang as the Aurors battled if whether it was safe to put their sheilds down. "Let's go," The Head Auror said as he gathered his team. "We will be back."
And true to his word, he did come back but at that point you were too numbed by the amount of calming draught, they made you ingest.
You shook your head as though it would push the memory back to the end of your mind. "I hope your right."
And no later than an hour, you were sat at one end of the large dining table while Sirius sat all the way on the other end.
And though there were only eight or nine seats (per side) that separated you, it fel as though half of London was in between you.
Your eyes kept roaming over his body, though he smiled, joked, laughed and played, you could tell he was somewhat exhausted.
That moment when when his smile fell, his shoulders sagged and his head bowed down allowing his eyes to rest on you.
You saw his eye slightly widened as though he was noticing for the first time in ages - which was exactly what was happening right now - he placed his glass of drink on the table and gave you a small smile.
The side of his eyes wrinkled at the gesture and you couldn't help but feel the same dropping feeling you got almost twenty years ago when you first fell in love with him.
Harry, who was sat next to him kept blabbing about something, but for the first time tonight Sirius didn’t look as though he was engrossed into the conversation.
Sirius stared at you, head tilted as his eyes scanned every aspect of your face. He couldn't believe it was you after all this time. Your hair was all disheveled and your makeup was slightly smudged but you still looked as beautiful as they you two got married.
Y/n subtly motions her head to the side and gets up from her seat, elegantly slipping out of the room.
"Excuse me, Harry." Sirius said, clearing his throat as he stared at where Y/n left and made his way out the room.
The halls got quieter the more he walked, he didn't have to check the other rooms to guess where Y/n slipped into.
He immediately turned towards the stairs and walked up to the upstairs library. There was only one thing in the world that Y/n liked more than coffee and that was books.
Muggle, magic, dark or light. Y/n could always be found nursing one. He quietly opened the door to it letting the smell of old tomes engulf him.
Y/n sat on an armchair at the far end of the room, looking through a dark, hard-covered grimore.
"Most of those books are cursed y'know." Sirius commented as he softly let the door shut. He took a sip of his drink and walked towards her as she let out a gentle 'Ah'.
"Most dark books are, though said curses can be avoided if opened correctly..." She said as she brushed her fingers down the spine and muttered quietly, the next the book let out a soft click as the locks on the side freed it.
Though nothing she said was processed in Sirius's head, he was still hungover on the part his wife was infront of him and speaking to him.
She turned and faced him with a small smile, "Won't you sit?"
Sirius walked over and took a seat right infront of her. He noted her flushed cheeks and the trembling hands over her lap.
"I'm sorry." Sirius said truly as he stared at his shoes.
"Sorry?" Y/n began as she stared up at him with furrowed brows, "Sirius you didn't do anything wrong."
"I did, I left you. I broke our vows, my most important promises to you." He said, she tried to cut him off but he shook his head.
"This is all my fault, if i didn't tell James to make Peter the secret keeper last minute, him and Lily could still be alive, Harry wouldn't be an orphan, Remus wouldn't suffer the full moon alone, I wouldn’t have been in Azkaban..." He took a deep, shaky breath. "You wouldn't have been alone for 13 years."
He looked up at Y/n his grey eyes meeting her's. "You don't know that, for all we know James and Lily could've died a week later even if Peter didn't betray them."
"And Remus didn't spend his full moons alone, I was with him." She stood up and sat next to him, placing a comforting hand on his knee.
"And I wasn't alone for 13 years, a part of you was with me every moment of them." She said as Sirius stared at the diamond on her ring finger.
A hesitated hand, placed itself over her as his thumb stroked the ring. "After all this time?" He said as he stared at her, "Always."
He grabbed her hand and raised it to his lips, placing a gentle kiss. "Your not afraid of me." He stated more than questioned.
"Why would you think I was afraid of you?"
"You didn't want to talk to me."
"Sirius, I didn't want to talk to you because..." Y/n stopped and gulped as Sirius leaned back with furrowed brows and faced her. "I didn't think, you'd still want me anymore. 13 years is more enough for someone to fall out of love with their partner."
"You really think i could stop loving you? no matter how many years apart i could never stop loving you. I loved you then, I love you now and I will love you after 30 years when we are old and grey. I loved you since the first day we met and will love you till the day I die and till the day we meet again. 13 years are nothing comparing to my love to you."
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cauliflowertree · 1 year
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sirius black—until i found you. part one.
summary: sirius escapes from azkaban and journeys to find you. -> loosely based on the song ‘until i found you’ by stephen sanchez.
word count: 1.2k
fanfic no. 019
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he had waited for this day for twelve excruciatingly insufferable years, had anticipated every response under the sun with which you could have possibly greeted him. from dawn until night he thought of only you: your face, your smile lines, the turn of your neck, how soft your skin felt to his calloused fingertips, and how much softer it would be after all this time.
though he promised himself never to doubt your love, he did find himself occasionally wondering whether you believed in the lie so many had fallen for. the carefully crafted crime peter pettigrew had left him to take the fall for. would his reuniting with you mean nothing but an escaped convict's deranged fantasy? but he could never think that way for too long, or he really would've turned out as insane as the rest of them trapped in the heavily guarded prison. you were the only thing keeping him from surrendering himself to azkaban's guards.
over the treacherous waters, fleeing the dementors and hiding in far away towns just hoping to hear word of someone he once knew, praying he would find you before he was caught again, sirius finally caught news—godrics hollow, you had never left. he should have known, should have expected that with almost everyone gone, you would cling to the last place where you had all been truly happy.
。+゚☆゚+。★。+゚☆゚+。★。+゚☆゚+。★。+゚☆゚+。
"rem, i'm just popping to the shops, we're out of milk!" you shouted up the stairs.
"alright!" came his muffled response.
fastening the buttons on your coat and reaching for your bag, you unlocked the front door and stepped onto the narrow, cold path that you and remus were forced to call a garden. you were about to lock the door when remus forced it open again, sticking his head out to ask you for some more tea biscuits.
"yes alright," you laughed. "almost had me screaming in your face then."
"sorry," he smiled sheepishly, shivering slightly before heading back inside the house.
there weren't many shops open this late on a sunday, in fact the only one that was, happened to be at the edge of the village. you'd bought a house on a particular street that meant you rarely ever had to walk past the ruin of the house you'd once shared so many happy memories within, but tonight you'd have to face it again. you never knew whether to stop and look and reminisce, or carry on and pretend it wasn't there.
during the daytime, you tried not to look if you had to walk past, too pained by the memories, by the knowledge of what happened there and the loss it caused you. but also that someone undesirable might catch you looking. however, you were alone tonight, and you couldn't help but stop at its front gate and peer into the broken windows, the shards of glass still faint with yours and your friends’ joyous, ghostly reflections. and yet, the house was now violated with dark magic.
"i miss you," you whispered quietly, tentatively reaching out to touch the gate voldemort himself might have laid hands on once. but instead of thinking of the darkness, you tried to remember all the times you had pushed open that gate, the times lily and james, sirius and remus, and even baby harry had pushed open that little gate.
sirius. perhaps after all this time, that was really the deepest pain you felt so profoundly. though each day you tried to put on a face of stoisicm, you could not neglect to remember that lily and james were dead, at peace, but sirius was alive, suffering, and not knowing whether the only two people he had left in the world believed him, fought for him, or even thought of him.
remus still woke you from nightmares sometimes. the nightmares all started like dreams—you and sirius happy, smiling, innocent as you once had been. and then they became distorted, twisted and warped and there was nothing you could do to stop it, nor was there anything you could have done to have prevented it.
。+゚☆゚+。★。+゚☆゚+。★。+゚☆゚+。★。+゚☆゚+。
sirius watched you from afar. he had followed you from your house you shared with remus, wondering if he had come twelve years too late but was so caught up in the relief of finally finding you that it didn't matter. after all this time, torment and pain, having a small part of you was better than having none of you at all.
he wondered now, as you stood before the potter's house, if you still thought of him, if you were thinking of him now. or if he had become obsolete in your life after his years of absence.
it was not out of the norm to see unusual things in godrics hollow, for it was largely a wizards' dwelling, but something felt off the more you stood before the cursed house. someone was watching you.
as your heart began to pound against your chest, you squinted through the darkness, trying to find a hint of a shadow that shouldn't have been there. you clutched your wand in your pocket and began to walk. the sound of your footsteps, your breathing, your heartbeat, it was driving you mad. you could probably apparate without causing much suspicion or outrage, but it was too risky coming up to the church.
and that's when you heard it, claws against the cobbled street, as if a dog was catching up to its owner. turning around, your instincts had been correct, but there was no owner around, nor a collar on the dog as far as you could tell from this distance.
but that dog...
sirius knew his cover was blown. he could tell by the way you were standing, just watching him with that curious expression. the one that people had when they couldn't quite recognise someone, or something, but were sure they knew it from somewhere. now was as good a time as any, he supposed, to expose himself and simply hope you had trusted him enough in your youth to believe him today.
right before your eyes, and perhaps other's, the dog transformed into a sullen, worn, human form, prison clothes dangling from his body and hair just as messy as his animagus'. he had nothing to lose and the promise of everything to gain.
"good godric," you choked, feeling the oxygen in your constricting lungs dissipate.
if it weren't't for the sheer panic that sirius would be caught, you'd have surely fallen to your knees. but your heart was in your throat and your stomach had plummeted and all you could think about was getting away from this public street where anyone could see him.
you began running down the path, holding your breath, clutching your chest. the closer you got, the faster the tears formed in your eyes; he looked so sickly, a phantom of the man he once was.
"y/n," sirius mumbled, a weak smile on his face as he looked down at you. it was as if he was in a dream.
with trembling hands you reached for his face, his sullen cheeks, pressing your palms against his winter-worn skin. your laboured breaths hung in the air around you, the white smoke blending into his complexion. was he a ghost? someone you were imagining?
"y/n," he muttered again, forcing the butterflies in your stomach out of their hibernation.
but your attention was quickly captured by unknown voices down the street, and you snatched sirius' arm, pressed his head to your shoulder, walked a few paces down the road where the street lights didn't illuminate and vanished with a snap!
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🏷 @imabee-oralizard @sw34terw34ther @applebittenn @cherrystrees @mad-elia @velvetcloxds @natashxromanovf @masivechaos @ell0ra-br3kk3r @garfieldsladybird @flesh--amnesiac
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|marrón pt.1? | imagine
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post-azkaban sirius x reader with brown eyes
w.c:+2k
warnings: eventual smut?, cursing
description: reader is an ex-auror from america who joins the order
pt. 2
00000    
Brown eyes watched as tattooed hands scraped against dark stubble, and it was one of the most exhilarating sights she had seen in a while. Something was arousing by the rings he wore on his fingers and the wrinkles forming around his eyes and mouth. She wanted to trace the vein on the right side of his neck with her tongue before shoving him down into her bed. Holy shit, she was horrible. This man was over ten years her senior, and his Godson sat right beside him while she was having these vile thoughts.
 They didn’t even know each other that well. She looked over to where Remus sat on his other side and frowned. It was odd. Usually, she fell all over herself for guys like Remus, the cute nerdy type. She had never liked someone like Sirius, someone like herself.
She had been an auror for MACUSA until about a year ago before she was asked to resign. It was late August when she and her friends decided to drive to Montauk in the middle of the night. She used the term friends, but they had been more like family, well, the only family she had ever had anyway. The only thing she remembered from that night was Connor's arm being thrown in front of her, the sensation of falling, watching a man searching through their destroyed car from the pavement, and then waking up to them all being dead. Those who had made her shit life somewhat better were gone and never coming back.
She looked back to Sirius, who laughed at something Tonks said. When was the last time she had truly laughed? How could he laugh after he, too, had his only family taken away, his youth, his essence? How had he not given into the dementors?
After all her friends died, she had been forced by the auror department to go to therapy; they said she had gotten dangerously violent with perps and that she wasn't allowed out in the field until she got the all-clear from the assigned therapist- that obviously didn't happen. She didn't just sit idly by and work on her 'mental health' or whatever; she got her ass out there and worked. But she supposed this 'work' wasn't very honorable... or legal for that matter.
Somehow Kinglsey found her one night after a job. He knew she was a witch immediately, even though she refused to use her wand for a job just in case MACUSA tried to trace it. He said it had been the weed she was smoking, funny enough. Magically grown marijuana has a distinct smell that differs from regular weed significantly.
  “ I’m sorry dear, where are you staying again?” asked Molly Weasley from across the table, “ I can’t remember for the life of me,”
“ Oh, I didn’t say say, “ (Y/N) said with a polite smile. She supposed the conversation shifted over to her without noticing; great, “ I’m kinda just hopping around from hotels to erm friend’s places,”
Arthur smiled, " Ah! So you have friends here? That's great to hear!"
(Y/N) couldn't help but snort as she thought of all the hookups she had had while being here only a little over a month. Did she really call them friends? She slammed her hand over her mouth before collecting herself and clearing her thoughts, " Excuse me, " she said, fighting a smile, " Sorry, um, inside joke, " she clarified, " I don't really have friends here; I kinda just float around and meet new people-,"
" You've been staying with strangers!" screeched Molly, (Y/N) turned to her left to see the older witch clutching her coat in her hands and looking at (y/n) in absolute horror, " That just won't do. Maybe you can stay with us-,"
(Y/N) jumped up and laughed awkwardly while holding her hands in front of her chest, " Oh no, I'm fine!" she assured the older woman, " I. . ."
What the fuck did she even say? I like fucking people I don't know? I like going out and waking up in random places?
(Y/N) was beginning to panic now. She had paused for too long, and now the conversation had gained the attention of everyone in the room. The (y/h/c) settled with smiling and repeating what she had just said, " I'm fine, "
She convinced absolutely no one.
Tonks raised a pink brow before her eyes lit up as an idea crossed her mind, " Well you can just stay here, hell there's plenty of room- if that's okay with Remus and Sirius, since their here most ...I suppose," she turned to them with a bashful smile.
(Y/N)'s heart practically skipped a beat as Sirius's pale eyes widened. Fuck this was embarrassing. What the fuck did she do? And why was part of her excited, oh dear God, she was acting like she was thirteen, wasn't she?
She settled with an airy laugh, " I can find a hotel or something- or hell even an apartment if I have to, " As if she could fucking afford that.
Sirius shook his head and allowed a kind smile of sorts to play on his lips, " That's not necessary, (Y/L/N)- I mean you are more than welcome to stay here, even if it's just until you find a place,"
Okay, that sounded good, yeah, she'd do that. " Are you sure?" she asked him, eyeing Remus as well. (Y/N) might have been somewhat obnoxious and loud, especially while drinking, in the past but she had gained a type of weird anxiety. She absolutely refused to impose herself or any of her baggage on other people.
" Alright, you can stay on the second floor, I think Molly and the kids cleaned out the third room, yeah?" asked Sirius to Molly, who simply nodded.
Tonks stepped in once again, seemingly recovered from sticking her foot in her mouth, " Do you need help getting your stuff from your hotel?" she asked.
(Y/N) thought about the one charmed bag she had full of clothes and toiletries, " I think I can handle it," she said with a small, perhaps obvious fake smile.
The kids seemed oddly excited about her staying with them, and maybe they were just happy to have someone other than each other and Tonks. Or hell, maybe they liked her. She was pretty fucking cool when you looked past the depressed alcoholic side of her.
“ Could you tell us some auror stories?” asked the youngest Weasley, Ginny, fuck yeah they thought she was cool.
(Y/N) thought about it carefully, “ I don’t know. . .” She had seen some fucked up shit, maybe she could tell them a funny one from when she was just starting out and she was basically mall cop status.
“ Well, I guess the one about when I had to go undercover, and my friend had to pretend to be my pimp isn’t so bad,” she decided aloud. It was probably one of the funniest stories she had.
While the kids and Tonks were on the edge of their seats, Molly and Arthur shared a strained smile which Sirius and Remus noticed, “ Maybe this story can wait for tomorrow, “ said the werewolf looking at the kitchen’s clock, “ You lot have to go to Diagon Alley tomorrow and pick up books, “
Fred and George scoffed, “ Oh come off it, it’s not like she was actually pimped out !” said Fred
Finally Molly put her foot down and sent all the kids to their respective rooms and on their way out she could hear Ron asking Hermione what being pimped out was.
(Y/N) grimaced, “ Well, I thought it was teenager friendly, “ she told the three once the Weasleys, Harry, and Hermione went to bed.
Sirius barked a laugh before taking a swig of his whiskey, “ Don’t fret it, “ he reassured, “ Molly is just protective is all, “
Remus nodded his agreement before looking down at his watch, “ Right, We’ve got to head to West Street and patrol, C’mon Dora,”
Soon it was just the two of them sitting in the once refined kitchen, “ You said you were recruited by Kingsley. . . what made you join?” asked Sirius.
(Y/N) sighed and offered a half-way shrug, “ I guess I just wanted to do some good, I feel like I haven’t done anything for other people in a long time,”
His silver eyes narrowed, “ I thought you had been an auror?”
“ Yeah I had been, but shit happened and I changed career paths,” she said with a small smile, hoping he wasn’t thinking of her as a possible threat. He didn’t trust her, that much was obvious.
“ Your family know you’re here?” he asked.
(Y/N) shook her head, “ There isn’t any family to tell,”
There was a pause, a shift in the air. Sirius had questions, she knew that much, but she didn’t want to answer them. Sirius seemed to sense her sensitivity to the subject and quickly changed it.
“ Tell me what was Ilvermorny like?” he asked before taking a sip of his wine.
(Y/N) couldn’t help the smile that tugged at her lips as she turned to him, “ Like a movie,” she hummed, “ I’d never had much stability before Ilvermorny, but it was nice. . . really nice,”
Sirius nodded, “ I know what you mean, “ he muttered looking up at the freshly clean chandelier, “ My parents were horrible, shit heads you could say,”
(Y/N) chuckled, “ I didn’t know mine, I grew up at a orphanage and then was in the foster care system for a while,”
“ It was lonely,” she finished quietly, slightly embarrassed for adding that unnecessary tidbit.
She was staring at the peeling wallpaper when Sirius patted her hand and she met his eyes. He offered her a friendly smile before drawing back, “ Well you’re not anymore with us around, yeah?”
She smiled but rolled her eyes, fighting not to call bullshit, “ I appreciate that,” she said playfully before standing up.
(Y/N) went to bed that night with her heart racing as she remembered Sirius’s hand on her own, she was a fucking disaster. He didn’t flirt with her or look her over- he was a grown man. In his eyes she was probably just some kid.
--
“ I appreciate that,” she said to him, her brown eyes melting just a bit before she stood. Sirius watched her go and let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.
 He didn’t know why she made him nervous, maybe it was the fact he didn’t trust her. She did kind of show up out of nowhere and had an almost nonexistent past.
Sirius had said those things to her in an attempt to get her to open up to him, to trust him, so he in turn could learn more about her. That had been his intention, but the fact his heart skipped a beat when he laid his hand on top of hers was a shock.
Did he find (y/l/n) beautiful, yes. Was she funny, yeah sure. Was she quite possibly his ideal woman, sure maybe.
Gray eyes slid across the old oak table and to the rim of her wine glass where her dark lipstick made an impression on the crystal.
Sirius shut his eyes and groaned.
“Fuck,”
---
a/n: lemme know if you guys are interested in another part.
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wingedhallows · 3 months
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"i'm older than you think." ; sirius black
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pairing: sirius x reader | 1k words plot: Sirius is taken aback that you're actually older than you look. prompt: "I'm older than you think." authors note: just a little something that came to me some nights ago.
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The Black’s family home was lively, more than what you expected. Two redheads rushed past you as you brought a hand through your hair. The strong wind had messed with it. 
“Get back here you two!” a woman, also with red hair, yelled after them.
“Oh, hello, dear.” she spoke, her voice gentler.”Hello.” You answered. “Y/N, there you are.” Tonks' voice came from behind the red headed woman. A small smile spread on your face as your friend approached. “For a moment I thought you wouldn’t come, come on.” 
She engulfed you in a hug and rubbed your back in a comforting manner. With an iron grip, she dragged you into the kitchen. “I didn’t know we would have another guest, here, let me fetch another set for you.” The woman chuckled as she pushed past you two. “No need-”Don’t try, that’s Molly Weasly, just eat.” Tonks laughed as she pulled you through the door.
Around the big kitchen table sat a few more red heads, some teenagers and adults.
“Everyone, this is Y/N L/N. She’s one of the greatest Aurors I know and hopefully, after tonight, a member of the Order.” Tonks announced, a comforting hand on your shoulder as she pushed you towards the table. A man, curly hair framing his handsome bearded face and a sly smile beaming towards you, held his hand out for you to take. 
"Sirius Black, the owner of this lovely house. I’m glad a more beautiful person is joining us. Nice to meet you, love.” He spoke before he kissed your hand with a grin on his face. A certain heat crept onto your cheeks as you shot him a grin yourself.
“Nice to meet you as well, Mr. Black. This house is indeed very lovely, so bright and colorful.” You chuckled. His eyebrows shot up and a laugh escaped his mouth. 
“And she’s got humor, merlin.”
“Holy, get a room.” Tonks spat with widened eyes. She grabbed your arm and pushed you down onto a chair. “Here you go.” Molly grabbed your shoulder and placed a bowl of food in front of you. Without another word of refusal you ate what Molly had given you. You didn’t miss the many times Sirius had glanced your way.
After the meeting and your agreement to join the Order and help Harry Potter, Sirius’ godson, to help defeat Lord Voldemort, Remus Lupin had asked for another drink and you agreed to stay. Harry and his friends had gone upstairs an hour ago claiming to go to bed, though you believed otherwise. Sirius had seated himself across from you.
“So, you’re an Auror?” with a sip from your cup you nodded. “I became one right after graduation, I’ve been one ever since.” You shot him a smile and reached for your pack of cigarettes. 
With a small smile on your face you held out the pack for him. “Want one?” he shot you a smile and nodded his head. “I’d love one.” you chuckled. After lighting your stick you leaned over the table to light his. His eyes widened as you came closer as expected.
“As an Auror, you must be in grave danger.” He spoke. It was only you two, the others were immersed in their own conversations.
“It’s always dangerous, feels nearer than it did last time though.” His eyebrows furrowed and he chuckled as he blew some more smoke from his lips. You did the same. “Last time?” you nodded and took another sip from your cup.
“The first war?” You tried, he didn’t get it though.
“What would you know of the first war? You’re barely an adult, we all know Tonks’ hardly one.” He stomped out his cigarette and without a warning a laugh escaped you. “Oh, merlin.” You heaved, wiping the non existing tears.
“What’s so funny?” he spoke, a unsure smirk on his face. “Mr. Black-” you had to laugh again.  “This is truly hilarious.” you paused
“I’m older than you think.” you took a sip from your cup and a big smile spread on your face once again. 
“What?” he managed to say, the cup of firewhiskey in front of him long forgotten. You lit yourself another cigarette and gave him a smile.
“We went to Hogwarts around the same time, I think.” you paused and his eyebrows furrowed once again. “You were a fourth or fifth year. I mean who could ever forget the great and mighty Marauders?” His mouth had opened in disbelief.
“I’m almost ten years older than your cousin.” you whispered.
“So-”Yes, I’m almost as old as you, so.” He shook his head and stood from the table. With his cup in hand he made his way next to you.
“Well, forgive me, darling. You look hardly a day over twenty.” You had to laugh again and shook your head.
“Flattery will get you everywhere, Mr. Black.” he clasped your hand in his and gave you another smile. “Please call me Sirius, love.” you nodded and took another sip of your drink.
“And since the Firewhiskey is slowly loosening my tongue, I believe that I do not feel ashamed to say that I'm slowly starting to fancy you, Y/N.” you stopped yourself from laughing and nodded at him.
“I’m afraid, me too.” A wide smile spread on his face as he came close.
“Good, then I get to do this.” with a hand on your cheek he came closer. His warm lips connected with yours and with almost rehearsed movements you kissed. Your hand found the back of his head, the other sat on his neck.
 “Ew, you two.” Tonks spat and Remus had to laugh at the sight of you two.
“Definitely hardly an adult.” Sirius chuckled.
You two were out of breath as you rested your head in the crook of his neck with a grin on your face.
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atydblack · 11 months
Text
"demure"
best friends dad! james potter x reader
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masterlist
requests are open!
MDNI
word count: 1.2k
warnings: age gap, smut, cheating, ovb everyone is of age!
i know this is starting off a bit similar to my show you series for sirius but its gonna go in a diff direction in the next parts <3
i cant stop thinking about dilf james potter
You were struggling to sleep as your boyfriend, Ron, lay unconscious next to you snoring loudly. You had been staying at the Potters for the past few days as it was summer break and everyone seemed to circle between there and the Burrow for the past few weeks.
You'd expect Ron to be filled with glee at the fact you can share a bed at the Potters, where as at his family home they are made to sleep in separate beds. However, it seemed he couldn't be less bothered.
Desperation began to overtake you as despite your best efforts, he barely wanted to sleep with you. Of course you did, occasionally, but even then it didn't satisfy you.
Letting out an exasperated sigh, you crawled out of bed to grab a glass of water as it didn't seem like you were sleeping anytime soon. Standing to your feet, you caught yourself in the mirror. A short black lacy night dress clung to your hips causing you to cringe at yourself. An attempt to spice things up with Ron only to go unnoticed as he simply poked fun at your pyjama choice.
You quietly made your way to the bathroom to grab some water, not too worried about your choice in clothes as you doubted anyone would be up at this hour.
The only noise in the hallway was your bare-feet padding down the stairs. Once you reached the dim-lit kitchen, you realised you were not alone.
James Potter was resting against the kitchen counter with a glass of red wine in has hand, wearing only a white vest and his boxer shorts.
"Y/N." He smirked, it seemed like this wasn't his first drink.
"Mr Potter," You stumbled. "I was just grabbing a glass of water."
"Can't sleep?" He chuckled. "You don't want a real drink?"
Before letting you answer, he grabbed another glass from the cupboard and poured a hefty amount of red wine into it.
"Plus, it's James." He added, passing you the glass. As he did so, you felt his eyes wander down your body causing your cheeks to grow red.
"Thank you, James."
"Sit with me." He strolled over to the lounge, placing himself down on the sofa.
You wandered over towards him, sitting down on the sofa but as far away as possible. You had never been alone with him before.
"So what's got you up at this hour?"
"I- um, I'm not sure." You mumbled. You were unsure why you were so nervous, you had known James since you and Harry became friends, but you could feel like eyes on your body.
"Ron not help you get to sleep?"
You were speechless - he was clearly intoxicated but every word he spoke shocked you more and more.
"Oh come on." He took out a box of cigarettes and lit one. You knew he smoked but had witnessed how angry Lily gets when he lights one inside. "Pretty girl like you, surely he can't keep his hands off of you."
"Not quite." You chuckled, taking a big sip.
"What do you mean?" He pushed, taking a drag of his cigarette.
"I- You know what I mean." The wine was making you feel more relaxed.
"He doesn't satisfy you?"
There was a pause as you struggled with how to reply, this was such a strange situation and you didn't want to tell him everything that you had never even spoken about to your closest friends.
"Of course he does." You responded, but it came out a bit too defensive.
James laughed as your cheeks grew red again.
You didn't want anyone to know about your sex life - it was embarrassing. But now you'd somehow given it away to your best friends dad.
"You don't sound too convincing, darling." James smirked. "Has he made you cum?"
You looked at him, confused. Made you cum? Of course you'd made him cum time and time again but you didn't think it was possible the other way round.
"He hasn't?" James raised his eyebrows. "Fuck, he's wasting you."
"What do you mean?" You almost groaned, this whole conversation was both confusing and frustrating.
"I mean look at you." He put out his cigarette and took a big swig from his glass. "Such a sexy little princess and he can't even make you cum."
Heat grew between your legs as you locked eyes. You had never seen this side of James before, and although guilt was desperately trying to come to the forefront of your emotions, you pushed at back.
"Come here." He spread his legs and patted in between them.
You obliged, moving shakily towards him.
As you sat down in his lap, back facing his chest, goosebumps covered your skin as you made contact with him.
"Want me to show you how it's supposed to be, pretty girl?"
You nodded.
"Use your words."
"Yes, James." You almost choked.
He placed a soft kiss on the back of your neck causing you to stifle a soft moan.
James' hand travelled down to your thigh, using his thumb to brush circled edging closer and closer to you.
You wanted to scream, you had never felt this intense neediness before and you could feel yourself growing wetter and wetter.
"Tell me what you want." He whispered in your ear.
"You." You let out desperately.
"Tell me."
"I want you to make me cum." You moaned out.
At your demand, his fingers moved towards your lace panties, rubbing circles through them.
"Fuck, princess, you're already wet for me?"
You couldn't let out anything other than a moan. He continued to rub circles, his pace growing quicker and quicker. You were already close to your high and he hadn't even removed your underwear yet.
The combination of his wet kisses on your neck and his big hands circling your clit caused you to reach your high, legs shaking at the sheer ecstacy.
"You came already, baby?" James chuckled. "I haven't even started yet."
Before you had the chance to catch your breath, he ripped your underwear off of you and pushed a finger inside you.
You couldn't stop moaning, he were worried at the amount of noise you were making but that thought quickly passed once James gripped your throat, restricted both noise and your breathing.
Somehow this turned you on even more, worried you would cum for a second time in only a few minutes.
He pushed two more fingers inside you, fucking you with force at an unnatural pace.
"Your pussy is so tight, sweet girl." He groaned. "I wanna feel you cum around my fingers this time"
You couldn't believe how good he made you feel, giving you just the right amount of pleasure and pain as he continued to choke you.
Your head flew back, resting on his chest as you reached your high for a second time. Your pussy clenched around his fingers as you continued to moan.
Once you'd finished your climax, he pulled his fingers from you and brought them up to his mouth, sucking your cum from them.
Your brain was still hazy and you wanted him more than anything you'd ever wanted in your life.
Sliding off of him onto the floor in front, you turned to him. You tried to pull down his boxers but he gently grabbed your wrists.
"As much as I'd like to fuck you until we both can't walk, Y/N." James chuckled. "I fear we might wake my wife."
---
part two
there will be many parts to this !!! aiming to do part two tomorrow
let me know if you liked it and remember my requests are open :)
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cherry-pop-elf · 22 days
Text
Honey, I’m Home-!
Sirius Black x Mom! Reader
Ever since Sirius was sent to Azkaban, you were the one in charge of raising Harry. Doing your best, and lucky to have Remus to help. Because of that, a certain Rat wasn’t able to avoid any of your gazes. When Harry’s third year came to a end, you were given quite a surprise at the train station
Warnings 18+, P in V, Female Reader, high emotions, hurt comfort, fluffy and heated sex, getting back together, implied breeding kink, taking care of your man with baths food and you, sir this bed is about to be destroyed with how hard he’s going to rail you. Also, implied Wolfstar/ Remus x You/Poly situation deal up in here hehehehe
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“Harry-!” You called, with a smile. Always there to pick him up from the station, every single time. As a good parent would. Ever since you found out he had such a risk to end up at the Dursleys, like hell you would let that happen. Made you pamper him a bit, given your good friends lost their lives for him. But like hell he didn’t deserve it.
“Shhh shh-!” Harry was soon hushing his friends, leaving you confused. Hermione and Ron quick to hush up, while Remus would set the last of the bags off the train. Wanting to help out, since there were so many Weasleys to worry about. The way he smiled, you were even more curious. You couldn’t recall the last time he looked so relieved. Was there a change in laws that permitted him to work at Hogwarts?
“Children, settle down. Settle down. Go on and show her the surprise.” He teases them, as he would help Molly with the rest of the Weasleys. He threw you a wink, which had you very confused. Not what did that Marauder have in mind this time?
“Mum…..Can we get a dog?” Harry asked you, as the trio stood next to each other. With cuts and bruises all over, but smiling. Even Ron seemed chipper, despite the fact he was in crutch. The hell did those three get into this time?
“A dog-? Harry….You know why we can’t get a dog.” You sighed, not wanting to have this discussion again. With out Sirius, you just couldn’t. Any dog was to painful of a reminder. Oh how you miss your padfoot. What you would give to see him again.
“Mum, please? He’s got no where else to go. Just look at him-“ Harry pleaded, as the trio stepped aside. The dog now exposed to you. Was so painfully skinny, yet also so furry at the same time. Matted fur, and just looking like a grim. He looked so much like Sirius, but so dead as well. Your heart just couldn’t say no this time.
The defeated sigh had them cheer, as Remus returned. Still giving you this coy smile, that had you furrow your brows. You felt like you were missing something, but you didn’t know what. You just knew that it was time to take everyone home.
With Harry hugging his friends goodbye, while this new dog stuck close to your legs, Remus would catch up quickly with Molly. Explaining something. You swore it was about Scabbers, but the new playmate was keeping your attention. Suddenly jumping on you, and licking your face.
“ACK-! HEEL HEEL-!” You called, as the dog was just to strong. How was something so fragile so durable? Reminded you of Sirius. How even in his dog form he was able to tackle people down. Was just making your heart hurt more, which in a morbid sense made you unable to refuse the dog either.
“Mum, Uncle Remus said you should head home with our new dog. He needs me to stay here and catch Mrs. Weasley up on stuff.” The way he fidgeted with his glasses told you it was a mixture of a lie and some truths. What the hell were these people planning? Was this some scheme to help you move on? Accept Sirius was never coming back? That hurt, but also a point was made. Who can escape Azkaban?
“Alright. But be home before dark.” You warned, as you kissed his forehead. Right on his scar, which made him smile. He made sure to give you a hug, before quickly returning to the red heads. Poor Molly looked ready to faint. Make that she did, and the twins had to catch her. Yeah, like hell you wanted to be involved with that.
“Alright, let’s-“ But the dog was running. Right through the wall, with no hesitation. You were flabbergasted, but had no time to think. Harry’s new dog was running off. No way you wanted his poor heart broken over that. So, you ran after it. Trying to catch up, but it seemed high on life.
“GET BACK HERE-!” You hollered, as the dog was running like it was the last thing it could ever do. You were so focused on trying to catch up to it, you barely noticed where you were running towards. By the time you finally caught up, you were wheezing. Hands on your knees, as the door the dog stopped at opened.
“About time Master and Mistress Black returned.” Kreacher sneered, as the dog hurried inside. Did he say what you think he said? No way. That can’t be Sirius. No way in hell. Looks like him, but he’s in Azkaban. You don’t just escape Azkaban. Sure, the daily prophet said he did. But it was more than likely gossip gone wild. You swore every week they said someone did, only for them to be returned the next day.
“Kreacher, phew, give me a minute here.” You coughed, as you stumbled inside. Left for the building to vanish, in the early morning fog. As if it was never there. Leaving you to be alone, with the elf and dog, as you hung up your coat.
You did your best with making the home more live able. The spare rooms built for whenever Harry wanted friends over for the summers. Along with just a safe haven for friends in need of a stay. You turned what was once a cage, into a proper home. Seemed the dog loved it, as it was quick to run up the stairs. Bolting past the curtained painting, and straight to your bedroom.
“How does it….No. no this can’t be. No way…” It was starting to become harder to deny, as you walked up the stairs. By the time you reached the door, you heard it. That familiar eerie bone cracking, when a animagus was changing forms. No way. It couldn’t be. It can’t-
“Home sweet home-“ That gruff voice sung to you, as you opened the door. There he was. Your husband. Your world. Your everything. Standing there, bending his back, as he sported a tattered Azkaban uniform. Bloody, dirty, hardly clothing at all. Hair a mangled mess, and in desempate need of a bath and shave. He was so sickly thin, the very thin fabric was just a sheet on him. Hardly could process it, when those dark eyes locked on yours. Hair so long now, and body tattered. No matter the design, it was still him. Your Sirius.
“Hardly changed a day…” He dreamily said, with that exhausted smile. He was so drained, but you could still see the pure joy in his eyes. He was home. He was with you, and could be there for Harry now. His best friend Remus was in his life again. He’s not in that damn prison, and he’s in your sight once more.
You didn’t care about the grime, as you practically fell into his arms. Sobbing in joy, as he held you close. Despite his thinner structure, he was able to hold you tightly. As tightly as he could, and sway with you. No need for words. Just gentle tears.
That was why Remus was so coy, and why Harry had you two run off. You two needed time to reconnect. Even so young, Harry could grasp how important this was. Guess you were rasing him right. Seemed also that Kreacher might have missed Sirius as well, because you could hear a bath being run. No one asked for it, but he did it. His own free choice. He missed him, in his own way.
“Darling, I love you so much. I really do, but I am so fucking gross right now. You know I’m being honest when even I’m unable to handle my own stink. I’ve had sex with Moony under a full moon. I’m GROSS gross right now. I will kill for a bath-“ He went on, making you just laugh with your tears. Despite the years in such a horrific prison, he was still himself. Guess he was always a little insane.
You didn’t let him go an inch, as you trailed after him to the bathroom. More than happy to help him wash. Just enjoying the needed intimate moment. Just a wife, washing her husband. By god was he filthy. By the time Harry and Remus returned, he was finally drying off. You had no idea if the bathtub will ever recover. Least he was now in his favorite black robe.
“I’ve got dinner handled, don’t worry-!” Remus called, as Sirius would come down the stairs with you. Unable to let go of his arm, and he hardly complained. He missed your touch all the same, as you two would enter the dinning room. Where Harry sat.
“Guess we better start from the beginning.” Harry murmured. You had already gotten used to your son’s insane adventures, but this one took the cake. He got his god father out of Azkaban, somehow-? Yeah, you were sitting down for this. Mindlessly playing with the exposed chest hair you could grab, as the trio of misfits began to explain.
Even while eating, more like Sirius devouring anything in sight, there was so much to discuss. Was mostly Remus, and Harry, speaking. Given Sirius was more so busy hiding during that time frame. Oh how your heart had broken, and repaired, over and over from it all. Your poor husband. But, he’s back now. He’s back, and he’s never leaving you again.
“I know you are my god father and all, but….Do I call you dad now-?” Harry asked. He’s thirteen, still a child after all. It’s going to be a lot to process, even by Wizard standards. With his meal finished, Sirius did have to think a moment. Dispite the fact Harry knew Sirius from stories, because of you and Remus, he was still a stranger after all.
“Uncle Padfoot will work just fine.” He smiled, as he ruffled Harry’s hair. That made the young teen give an awkward grin, as there was something to work with now. Uncle Moony and Uncle Padfoot. It’s a start, and you couldn’t be happier. Just staring with such love to him, with your head on his shoulder. Taking in that scent, as Remus was unable to stop his smile to.
“Harry, dear, why don’t we go out for a walk. Hm?” Remus asked him, making the boy raise a brow. Why would he want to….Oh. Right. Remus would give a gentle head nudge towards the door, and Harry was quick to get the message. Grabbing his jacket, wand, and chasing after his uncle. Not wanting to say another word, as he really rather not think about his mother’s sex life. Even if it’s with his god father.
The second the door closed, you were yanked from your chair. You gave a squeak, as you were tossed over his shoulder. Just like the old days at school. Whenever he wanted your attention, he simply tossed you over his shoulder. Forcing you to pay attention to him, as he would steal you to a private room for a discussion.
“I’m not letting you out of that bed until the head board breaks-“ He warned, as that had your heart racing. Twelve years is a long time, and there was most certainly some catching up to do. You couldn’t deny that, as you watch the stairs trail behind him. Escorting you to your once shared bedroom. Now together again.
You were plopped right on the bed, and he was on you like the hungry dog he was. Stealing you into his lips, and you couldn’t stop your moaning. It had been so long. You needed him as badly as he needed you. How you were enjoying the new long hair, and tangling your fingers into it. Needing as much skin as you could get from him.
He was more than happy to give it to you. The robe thrown aside, as he was pulling at your clothes. Not giving damn if they tore. Nothing else mattered in this moment. He wanted to fuck his wife, and by god was he going to. Twelve years, in Azkaban. He’s going to get all twelve years of pent up desire out in one night. Will your body recover? Do you even care?
“Sirius-“ You sighed, as he finally got your top off. His face buried into your chest, as he snapped your bra strap off. Tossing it aside, as he drank you up. Just feeling your skin on his, and savoring the long missed flesh against his bearded face. Feeling that freshly softened hair on your chest felt so good. Every single fiber of your existence was on fire. Felt like you might implode.
“Not a day passed by, that I wasn’t thinking of you. You, Remus, Harry, you three were what kept me sane. I knew you three were safe with each other. Waiting for me. I came back. I came back, like I promised.” He sighed, as you felt the tears on your chest. Gentle fingers played with his hair, as to try and calm him down. Comforting him.
“I always knew you would.” You felt so silly thinking Remus would ever try and help you move on. Hypocrite he would have been. Human emotions be human emotions, and they were being carnal right now. Needing to burn and burn and burn.
“Have me again, like you’ve had me before.” You asked him, as you cupped his face. Having that thick beard nuzzle into your palm, as those dark eyes stared up to yours. So much pain in his face, but comfort in his eyes. It’s a long journey to recover, but his soul was still there. His body is damaged, but a body can repair. A mind is harder, and that was the battle. A battle he won.
With a kiss to your palm, he would soon attack your lips. Growling into you, as he pulled away the rest of your clothes. Needing to devour your body. Soon marking away at your neck, your chest, your arms. If there was anything his lips could grasp, and making sure you were marked. As if to remind the world you belonged to him, and he wasn’t going anywhere. Not anymore.
“Sirius, how can you still be such a tease?” You whined, as he was grazing his teeth over your thigh. Leaving a bite on your flesh. Letting himself enjoy the flavor of the tingling flesh under his tongue.
“What? I’m an old dog. Old dogs have bad habits.” He teased, before he finally allowed you to get some attention. He really didn’t change, and you were shocked. Never thought being abused could be useful. Only a Black would have such a morbid survival skill.
Before any more depressing thoughts could fill your head, you were able to enjoy the familiar sight. Your husband between your legs, with his cock rubbing against you. The tip of his cock coming into view, whenever he rolled his hips up and down. Rubbing right on your clit, and making you whimper. Sure you’ve played with yourself, but nothing beats his touch.
You both were gripping tightly. Him on your thighs, while you grabbed his shoulders. Needing to feel him in your hands. You both needed it so badly, but both held a near fear. As if afraid that it was all a dream. Luckily, he had the nerve to test that fear. Test it, as he finally pushed in.
“Fuck, I’ve missed this-“ He moaned, as his eyes rolled to the back of his head. The way he growled, and his body just shivered. Aching, and moaning. Might spill just then, if he didn’t stop. Just savoring the feeling of being back inside of you, and how your eyes watered from pure comfort. To have your husband back.
He would lean down, and kiss away your tears, before he allowed himself to move. Just moaning for you, as his nails dug into your flesh. Marking you more, as you moaned into each others mouths. Needing to drink in every last thing you both could offer. So much to catch up on, and to make up for.
With the tender moment passing, you were soon reminded of the wild man you married. The feeling of your legs being pushed towards your shoulders, as he tried to get into you deeper. With his hands now on your ankles, as he was snapping his hips into yours. Needing to make sure you felt ever inch of him.
You loved it, and missed it, all. The feeling of your arms around his neck, and tangling your fingers into his hair. How he growled into you, and the snarls. Oh how you loved how animalistic he was for you. How he would bark and howl at the beg and call to you. Your big bad wolf.
It was all you missed. Had you in a mixture of tears, and pure desire. How he wanted to fight your tears, and kissed you. As heated as he could, to make up for the years parted. To taste you, and savor you all over again. Just the sounds of your moans, the creaking bed, and the flesh on flesh.
You didn’t know how long it lasted, but you felt him pull your lip. Sinking his teeth into it. A typical sign that he was close. A need to ground himself, to last a little longer. Oh how you missed his little habits. That thrill of pain again sent you over, as you came with him. To be as connected as possible.
You expected to get a moment to savor the after glow, but he kept true to his word. You were soon tossed onto your stomach, with the ass in the air. Of course he wanted doggy. It’s cheesey, but a favorite. Suppose one more round could be mustered.
One more became two, and three, and soon you had to chug a Pepper Up potion to keep up. You lost track of the rounds, before you were laid on your back. Soaked in sweat, and sticky from it all. Sheets hardly on the bed, and you were certain there were cracks in the wood. Hardly could breathe, but it seemed he was satisfied.
“Pretty sure you fucked a dozen kids into me.” You wheezed, as he chuckled. Enjoying a much needed cigarette, but still making sure you were comforted. Having your head in his lap, as he played with your face. Admiring all your features.
“Good.” He snickered, as you swatted at his hand. The both of you able to share a laugh, as there was a soft knock at the door. All Sirius had to do was give a sniff in the air, and he knew who it was. A whistle was given, before he grabbed a pillow for you. So you could cover up, despite the fact Remus has certainly saw you naked many times.
“Feeling better now-? Could have used a silencing charm. Had to tell Harry Kreacher was fixing a wardrobe.” Remus scoffed, with a tray of needed drinks and snacks. He would set it down on the bed side table, before joining on the bed. He deserved to catch up with Sirius to. Fine by you.
With some shifting, you were soon snuggled between the two men. Sirius still playing with your hair, as the two men remained sitting up. Keeping their voices low, so you could drift. Just able to be safe, and warm, again. Snuggling your husband, and comforted by the sound of old memories.
What a wonderful lullaby.
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milunalupin · 2 months
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helloooo, 33centaurrii here! Decided to ask anonymously (though announcing myself beforehand defeats the entire point of being anonymous) because secondary blogs can't be used to send asks. I think that's rubbish and a hassle and it's borderline criminal that Tumblr hasn't found a way to optimize that in several years from its conception
I really liked your post-azkaban Sirius and was wondering if you could write something regarding him escaping Azkaban and reuniting with reader ...the catch is that he reunites with them in his animagus form — his fur is matted and growing in odd ways, he looks and somehow smells like he's contacted some kind of disease and he's panting like crazy as a consequence of his sedentary lifestyle in Azkaban. Reader doesn't know this! Heck, reader thinks he's someone else's emaciated stray dog :')
How angsty or how funny or fluffy this goes is totally free reign to you! I've been thinking about adult Sirius way too much for wayyyy too long that I just HAD to request it
— 🌿
ty for the request ily <3 i hope you like it !
— homecoming
post azkaban!sirius x reader ★ 1k words
With a wave of your wand, the sign on the door turned from 'open' to 'closed' and the potion shop was closed for the night. You did a quick walkthrough one more time to make sure you weren't forgetting anything, and stocked up on a few potions that you were running low on at home. Once more you flicked your wand about and the lights in the shop were off. You walked out the back door and locked up, buttoning up your coat as you started your walk home. The night was chilly but the skies were clear, allowing you to see your favorite star, the brightest in the sky.
The walk to your home wasn't terribly far, and you quite enjoyed the peaceful walks down the empty trail. Suddenly a high pitched whine stopped you in your tracks, your eyes going to a wiggling bush on the side of the road. You crouched down and got closer, just to find a bloody lump of dark matted fur, it's tongue lolling out with heavy pants.
"Oh Merlin, look at you! You poor thing, can I please help you?" you gasped, tears already forming as you looked at the weary dog. You held your hand out near it's snout to let it sniff you first, but the dog pushed its face into you hand, whining as it used all its strength to lick your arm.
"Where's your owner, sweetheart?" You frowned, only receiving another whine in response. You looked around for someone who might be looking for him, but the village had been practically empty the past few hours. The dog nudged your hand again, his dry tongue scraping against your fingertips.
"Hold on tight puppy, sorry but this may feel weird." You apologized, wrapping an arm around the animal as you whipped out your wand and quickly apparated home.
The second you arrived in your flat, you rushed around to collect your healing supplies, dropping them in front of the dog, whose eyes drooped tiredly. You were lucky you saw him when you did, his injuries were terrible and he looked like he was going to pass out any moment.
He had gashes and cut all over him, some rashes and boils the result of intentional poisoning. You muttered a quick Reparifors to revert any poison in his system, the dog letting out a large sigh and few coughs. You got up and ran to and from the kitchen to set a bowl of water next to him to drink, so you could get started on healing his other injuries while he rehydrated. You dabbed a cloth with some Murtlap Essence, gently pressing it to his larger cuts, mumbling apologies as he cried underneath you.
You managed to get the dog onto the couch on you were done with the initial healing and laid a blanket over him. His larger wounds were dressed and he looked a little better after a few bowls of water. You gave him a few scratches under his chin and picked up his bowl before walking into the kitchen to refill it. Walking back into the living room you stopped dead, the metal bowl falling from your hands and clattering to the ground, water spilling onto your rug.
On your couch sat a naked Sirius Black, the blanket thankfully laying over his lap. You stood frozen with your eyes wide, your heartbeat picking up as he sat there just staring back at you, anxiously biting at his chapped lips.
"What are you- I don't- How-" you sputtered, your breaths getting quicker as your eyes watered, unable to look away from the man in front of you. He was supposed to be in Azkaban, for Godric's sake, what was he doing here?
"Hey hey, slow down poppet, take a deep breath for me, will you?" Sirius was at your side in a second, one hand holding the blanket around his bruised hips while the other hovered over your shoulder, his tired eyes staring down into your own. "You're alright."
"I- Are you alright? How are you here, Sirius?" you sniffled, raising your hand towards his face, fingertips lightly brushing over his cheekbones as you tried but failed to hold back a sob. "Merlin you're real, you're actually here."
His arm came around you in an instant, his own body shaking as he pulled you close to him, pressing kisses into your hair. "Oh please don't cry, lovely girl."
Sirius held onto you until you became too tired to cry anymore, guilty and ashamed of the man - or rather, dog - he came back to you as. It wasn't easy escaping, no it was complete and utter hell. But the first place he thought of to go was to you, how could it not be. You had been the one to dry his tears the summer after his little brother had surrendered to the pressure of his parents and received the Dark Mark, the one who held him late at night in the astronomy tower when the letters with the Black family seal were too much to handle on his own. Of course, you were just being a good friend, maybe too good. Sirius could've never confessed his true feelings back then, he didn't know if he was stable enough to hold a relationship, and he wasn't going to risk losing you in trying, so he kept quiet. But twelve years later, your hands were still just as kind and gentle holding him, his tears dripping from the tip of his nose onto your head that held the most beautiful and purest mind he knew.
"Do you want to talk about it?" You whispered, teary eyes looking up at him.
He sighed softly and shook his head. "Tomorrow love, I think we're both a little tired after tonight."
You nodded and led him to your bedroom, where you lent him some clothes to sleep in and pulled the bed covers back, sliding in and patting the space next to you. He slipped in beside you and let out a blissful sigh, closing his eyes for a moment to relish in the silkiness of your sheets and the plushness of your pillow. The two of you laid facing each other, studying the other's appearance. You reached for his hand and squeezed lightly, a sleepy smile on your face.
"Welcome home, Sirius."
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whorediaries-09 · 8 months
Note
Hand under my sweatshirt 🌿- hiii I was hoping I could get this prompt with Sirius black x reader with a breeding kink? And maybe something where he’s just soft cuz readers had a long week?? Thank youuuu only write this if you want to and feel comfortable ofc!
hello lovebug <3 i have seen all your requests, and i promise i'll get to all of them. i've just had a stressful week, i couldn't get to them earlier i'm sorry please forgive me xoxo.
anyways, i hope you like this :)
now i'm covered in you
pairing(s)- sirius black x reader warning(s)- 18+ content. (let me know if i should add more) a/n- sirius motherfucking black definitely has a breeding kink 😵‍💫
ps-set during ootp. sirius and reader have a established relationship.
masterlist fall event rules
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his tongue grazes at your clit, the ends of his choppy hair tickling your inner thighs. his finger curls inside you, and you buck your hips with the nerves building inside you.
'faster, please,' you say. he hums against you, the vibrations lighting you up into a fire of lust. his tongue laps upon your cunt, his finger simultaneously curling at your spot simultaneously. your hand flies at his hair, rotating your hips against his mouth as you feel the coil in your stomach on the verge of an escape.
'i want to taste you,' he croons against your cunt. you let out a moan, the grip on his hair tightening as you finally let go, your release coating his face.
'shit-' you breath, your chest heaving. sirius emerges from between your legs, his chin glistening with your juices. he smirks as helps you sit, his lips interlocking with yours. he bites your lip, as you moan into his mouth, your hands interlocking behind his neck. you taste yourself on his tongue, as he slides his tongue into your mouth, tantalizing a dance.
his cock prods at your clitoris and you moan,
'please,' sirius bites your lip for the last time before leaving your lips,
'yes darling. i'm gonna fuck you so good.' he promises, positioning his cock at your cunt. you buck your hips at the contact. he hides his face at the nape of your neck, slowly sliding in, letting you open for him slowly. you breath in, tucking your lip between your teeth.
'shit,' he gasps as your walls convulse around him. your nails dig into his back, as he slowly moves out of the warmth of your cunt. he wraps your legs around his waist, pushing himself inside you.
'harder,' you say, your eyes stained with tears of pleasure. he groans, biting your neck, sucking upon the skin of your neck.
'harder yes. i'm gonna fill you up,' he says. your nails dig harder into his porcelain skin.
'gonna fuck you so hard, give you all my babies,' he whimpers as your walls grip his cock at his lustful words. he moans, his hair tickling your back as you pulsate around his cock, the hot coil of orgasm bubbling inside you. his finger circles around your clit, and you almost cry out with pleasure.
'oh fuck sirius,' you groan. he rams into your harder. he takes a deep breath, smelling your scent which drives him into a high.
'gonna impregnate this little pussy so good,' he says, as you buck your hips, breaking down as you cum on his cock. he growls, releasing himself inside you. you feel his cum slide down your thigh, as he watches. he traces his trail of release back inside your cunt, as you sit on the silk of your bedsheet, the stress of your week long forgotten. he grins, his signature sirius black grin.
'now you're covered in me,'
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ttulipwritezz · 4 months
Text
This Is Our Place.~ S.Black
Ootp! Sirius Black x gn! Reader
Synopsis: After azkaban, Sirius falls for his best friend's colleague, who just so happens to return his feelings. They find their place within the confines of a war. Perhaps they'll leave the Christmas lights up till January.
Wc: 2k
Warnings: lots of italics, probably grammatical mistakes, inconsistency, mentions of presents, Christmas, bad family (s.b), kiss(es), might be ooc idk.
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The clouds began to form in delicate shapes, and the roar of thunder echoed through the gloomy room. The light from a candle illuminated the kitchen, in which you sat, your mind preoccupied with the thought of the incoming rain.
Preoccupied with the thought of having to take the clothes off the drying rack anytime soon or bringing all your potted plants indoors to avoid them drowning.
It was not an odd thing—rain—being that it was the end of August.
"Knock, knock."
You looked up from where a blank piece of parchment lay in front of you, curious to know the source of the words.
"You could just, you know, knock? Like a normal person,  Sirius."
You found yourself speaking before you could collect your thoughts. The said man glanced at the parchment once and looked back at your face, his lips curving up the tiniest bit at your attempt to lighten the mood.
"Who am I, if normal, love?" He chuckles with a crooked smile.
You let your eyes roam around his face, his hollowed-out cheeks, and his half-lidded eyes. He looks tired. You conclude.
"Do you want some tea? I was just about to make some.."
You weren't really, about to make tea, that is. Still, you found yourself speaking, wanting to comfort the man, even if just a little.
Sirius was, by no means, your friend. He was just a friend of your colleague, Remus. You'd joined Hogwarts the same year Remus did; being new, the two of you hit it off immediately.
It always amazed you how well of a grasp Remus had on DADA. And he returned the favor by complimenting your herbology. You were a couple years younger than Remus, at best, and had known of him and the infamous marauders during your time at Hogwarts. Sirius Black did intrigue you the most.
You knew he came from a wealthy family, a bad one—of course, by no means did you want to intrude on his family life, but the heart does what the heart wants—and that he found solace in the friends he called brothers.
When Remus introduced you to his falsely convicted friend, Sirius Black, You damn near fainted on the spot, not because of his (undeniable) handsomeness but because of the sheer fear of standing in front of a possible murderer.
Now, years later (two to be exact), you find yourself enamored by the faded gray of his eyes and the curved bridge of his nose, which, you reckon, has been broken at least once during his time at Hogwarts, noting the sudden halt in the curve that then sharply turns to the other side and resumes its path.
Maybe it is a little peculiar to be noting such details of his appearance that you can paint a picture of his past. Strange, they'd call it. But it's routine for you. A routine you find comfort in.
"Thank you, Love," he replies.
A mumbled "'course" leaves your lips as you put the kettle to boil on the stove.
Sure, you could use magic, but these mundane tasks that don't require it seem to bring a sort of normalcy to your life. Even if just for a moment, it stops feeling like you're in the midst of a war and that people aren't dying left and right.
You were only nineteen when the first wizarding war came to an end, when your friends lost their lives, and when the dark lord seemingly disappeared forever.
He hadn't; that much was evident from the current situation.
The tea was set in front of Sirius almost unknowingly. You had been a little into your head and had been going about the task with practiced ease.
"Thanks again, Love. When do you reckon the others will return?"
Remus, along with the other order members, had gone on yet another mission. They left Sirius, concluding he was too weak to fight right now, and you, as you'd offered to stay back.
"Any time now, and really, it's no problem,"
you replied, sort of bashful at both his gratitude and the endearment.
As if on cue, the door opened with a jingle of the keys, and numerous voices rang through the empty corridors of Grimmauld Place.
Remus stalked into the kitchen and put his left hand up, leaning against the doorway with his right for some sort of support, revealing a gash running from his middle finger to his wrist and a sheepish smile on his face as he looked at you. Immediately, wordlessly, you walked forward with your wand and began healing the wound.
Removing a tin of herbal paste from the drawer beside and handing it to Remus.
"How'd that happen? I thought this was a 'harmless' mission," you asked, quoting his reassuring words from earlier.
"I nicked myself on a broken shelf." As confident as he sounded, his lie didn't escape you.
All it needed was a 'really?' look on your face to get the truth out.
"Death eaters," he stated, defeated.
"You really ought to be more careful, Rem. It worries me."
You said that and guided him out of the kitchen to assess his other wounds, which included one on his arm and a twisted ankle.
Unaware that a certain raven head was watching you from the table, envious and defeated at failing at his attempts to talk to you. The rain began pouring down, and the clothes and plants still outside ran through your mind.
The rain mirrored the heart of the black, sitting at the table, gloomy as ever.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You'd last seen Sirius when Harry and the kids stumbled through the door of Grimmauld Place, bringing an unconscious, but thankfully alive, Sirius with them.
Harry had told you that he was leaving to retrieve his godfather from the ministry, mentioning something about a dream, but you weren't paying much attention after you'd heard the news. With Dumbledore's permission and assistance, you'd returned to Grimmauld's place to help in case they ever needed it. Praying that Sirius made it back alive.
The kids, along with Remus and a few other order members, laid the unconscious Sirius on the couch and went to clean themselves up as you offered to take care of Sirius in the meantime.
Once conscious, you dragged Sirius to the bathroom on the ground floor of the house, squeezing through the thin hallways and sitting him on the counter as you retrieved a first-aid kit from the cupboard.
"Couldn't you use magic to fix my wounds?" came his distraught voice, cutting your thoughts short.
"Do you want me to inflict pain on them? Just sit still. Besides, it's not like I'm a healer."
As you cleaned each wound with precision, one thought roamed your head.
It's not like they don't have wands—the death eaters, that is—they injured him in a way that seems almost muggle.
"If you're wondering how, it was Bellatrix," Sirius said, trying to suppress a hiss at the particularly deep wound on his arm, as if reading your mind.
"Your cousin?" you answered, or rather, asked, continuing and moving onto the smaller cuts that littered his face.
Humming, he let you get the rest of the wound cleaned.
You glanced up at his face when opening the packet of cotton, only then realizing how close you had been. His breath was fanning your nose as he stared deep into your eyes, no trace of guilt or shame in them, as if he trusted you wholeheartedly.
You could have sworn you saw him glance at your lips in anticipation. The thought alone swarmed your stomach with butterflies.
Only now had you realized how intimate your shared moments were and how he had always tried to enlighten your mood with his jokes. You thought it was his defense, his coping mechanism.
Though now it seemed amidst the war, all he tried to do was hear you laugh. By pausing your movements as if in a trance, you maintained eye contact with him. He looked so stern and so soft all at once.
In his mind swam thoughts of the previous night, when you cradled Remus's hand with such grace and concern.
His lips parted, and you wanted to kiss him. You don't know why, but you did. All you had to do was move your face half an inch forward, and his lips would crash into yours. You wanted to do it so badly.
And so you did.
His eyes fluttered close, and the arm that wasn't injured came up to grip your neck, light as a feather.
His hands caressed the tiny hairs on your neck and sent a tingle down your spine. The kiss was phenomenal.
You didn't sleep that night; the thoughts were fluttering in your mind even hours later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I kissed him."
As soon as those words left your mouth, Remus choked on his tea and had to take a moment to steady himself.
"You kissed whom exactly!?" came his exasperated voice.
"Sirius," you said sheepishly, suddenly feeling small under his wide gaze.
"I didn't even know you liked him," Lupin said as he went to dry his clothes from the tea.
"It just…sort of happened..you know-"
"no, I don't know y/n..what were you thinking!?" Remus was confused, and a part of him felt betrayed.
You liked his best friend, but he had no clue.
The patter of the rain outside added to the deafening silence that you left. The sound brought you back to the first night in the house, the night when you shared tea with Sirius.
Your eyes flitted to the scar running along the Lycanthropes hand, and you grimaced at the angry red surrounding it as it healed.
"Did you put the balm on it today? your hand, I mean " Your words cut through the silence like a knife, and you moved your hand toward one of the many drawers housing your herbal balms.
"You're deflecting, love... If it's any help, Sirius would much rather pretend nothing happened than act on his own; you're best off confronting him first."
Remus's words were assuring, but the tone in which he said them made you scrunch up your brows and tilt your lip downward.
"Umm, I'll see what I can do." Your hesitance was evident in your voice.
You walked back to your room after handing Remus the green and silver tin, silently reminding him of his wound.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On the other side of the house, Sirius lay in bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking about the kiss.
His mind wandered to the feeling of your lips, his hands on on nape, and your gaze before it all.
Your lips. My lips.
"A Rubber Duck!" A shout came from the room beside him. Harry's room. They were playing a round of charades, he remembered.
Harry! Yes!
He should ask Harry. So he made his way towards their room.
"Harry, could I talk to you for a moment?" Just as Harry was getting up and ready to join his godfather,
"actually hold that-"
He turns to Hermione
"-Hermione!! You're a muggle. You'd know! of course" The hopeful tone of his voice sends Ron into a laughing fit, and Harry's mouth twitches into a grin as Hermione sits confused with a frown.
After discussing the matter with the kids, Sirius decides he's done with his stupid old ways. He wants to say something; make the first move.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It happened on christmas eve.
Everyone had taken to opening presents under the large tree at the living room.
After watching Ron fawn over his new wizard chess set, you decided it was time for a much needed break.
"I think i'm going to go make some hot chocolate...anyone want some?" You asked, already getting up to yout feet.
Most of them nodded no and you only just realised all their mugs were rather full.
Making your way into the rather small kitchen of grimmauld place, you got out your wand to help make your hot chocolate.
"Knock knock" a familiar raspy voice came from the doorway.
An odd sense of deja vu enveloped you and you turned around to look at the source.
"you could just knock. Like a normal person" you repeated your words from the previous day.
The relationship between you and sirius had strained quite a bit after that shared kiss.
"sorry love, how's your day going so far?" He asked, seemingly trying to dissipate the awkwardness from the air.
"Alright...i suppose, what about you?" You replied with just as much hesitation.
"Good." And it stopped at that, the conversation.
Only now did you realise just how close he had gotten. You backed yourself away slightly, only to find your leg hitting the back of the counter.
The world seemed to be silent as the sound of your breaths mingled with one another, accompanied by the ticking clock.
The noises in the living room had become nothing but a blur and muffled by your thoughts.
"I really like you y/n. I truly do" Sirius spoke first, drawing your attention from the planes of his face
"Huh?" Your reply came meek and unsure.
You weren't even sure you'd heard it right.
"i like you." He reiterated.
You did hear it right.
Your knees felt weak but at the same time you were on cloud nine.
Before getting the chance to gather your thoughts you found yourself speaking..
"I really like you too sirius"
your voice came out just louder than a whisper, you're sure he wouldn't even have heard it.
His next words sent a flurry of butterfiles to your stomach.
"May i..?" You noticed him glancing down at your lips and back at your eyes.
You couldn't stop the smile that bloomed on your face as you nodded yes.
The kiss was diferent than the last, less desperate yet more passionate. It was slow, steady and loving.
You could feel his smile against your lips before you pulled apart.
"I've waited so long to do that" his voice came a mere whisper
Your eyes followed the movement of his lips, which were on yours moments ago.
" I...umm got you a gift" he continued, his hesitation surprising you.
Forcing your eyes to look back at the grey irises you managed to let out a breathless
"what?"
Sirius pulled out a box, a small one of velvet, the kind that would normally house a ring, now held a singular locket that was shaped as a star.
"A star...for my star" he said
You couldn't stop the heat from spreading to your cheeks, eyes widening a touch and lips quirking up the slightest.
Two voices giggling could be heard from the kitchen that night.
The whole night.
A/n: I spent WAYY too long on this- and the ending is super rushed lmao i hope you enjoyed it and all reblogs help me reach more ppl! I had sm fun writing this. i'm v proud of this ❤️❤️
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xreaderbooks · 10 months
Text
'Til death do us part
Pair: Sirius Black x Reader
Summary: Y/n comforts her husband, Sirius, after having a nightmare, post-Azkaban. Based on THIS request.
Warning: nightmares
Word Count: 1.1k
Songs I listened to while writing: You Are a Memory by Message To Bears, Rescue by Lauren Daigle, Je te laisserai de mots by Patrick Watson
Sirius Black Masterlist - Navigation - Wattpad - AO3
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You woke to the jostling and jerking from the body next to yours, the shouting and screaming came next, and your heart was already pounding at a high-speed rate due to the scare out of your sleep. You thought there was an attacker or that your home had been broken into. A ridiculous thought since you’ve been used to having your sleep cut short by your husband in this exact same state.
“Sirius,” You shook his shoulder gently to pry him out of his nightmare. “My love, wake up.”
He shoved your hands away as he bolted up into a sitting position, his eyes were open wide now, tears at the corners of his eyes. The normal silver was bloodshot from his crying and lack of sleep.
“Y/n?”
“Another one,” Your eyes softened at his state.
He brought his knees up to his chest, bringing them in closer with his arms hugging his legs. Your heart tore a little at the sight of how vulnerable and young he looked. “I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Your voice was slightly above a whisper. “Do you want to talk about it?”
He wiped the flowing tears as they came, “It’s the same thing, over and over again.”
Sirius has opened up to you about his nightmares time and time again when he was stable enough to speak about them. The feeling of his soul being sucked out of him was similar to how you feel when you dream about falling except instead of your heart jumping it was your spirit that was being pulled painfully away from your body. He couldn’t stop it, couldn’t wake up from the dream as you normally could when you fall in your sleep.
His chest began to heave, his breathing quickened with shallow breaths.
“You’re okay, you are just fine,” You reached out to place a hand on his chest. “You are here, you are safe.”
Sirius began to sob with never-ending tears, “I can’t- I can’t.”
You shushed him with a small shake of your head, “It’s alright, you’re alright. You don’t have to be strong right now, let it out.”
“Can I hold you?” He asked shyly. It reminded you of your years at Hogwarts together when you first started dating, he never wanted to push your boundaries, set on proving how good of a boyfriend he can be. He wanted to be gentle for you.
“Of course,” You lay back, your head on the pillows and lifting the blankets letting the cool air hit you as he laid on top of your chest, placing them on top of him. He was fully wrapped in comfort, the top of his head nuzzled into the crook of your neck, both of his arms around your middle, clutching him to you tightly.
He once compared the feeling of the dementors tearing him apart to how it would feel if you were to ever leave him. He would let you go if it was what you wanted, but that was how much it would hurt. You reassured him that you would never leave him, you were his forever. 
“I’m sorry,” He repeated in a sob. You felt his body shaking atop yours, and the back of your eyes stung, but you couldn’t cry now. He needed you to be strong right now, and you would be, just as he was all those years.
It wasn't his fault he was framed, but somehow the guilt still ate away at him as if he was the one who betrayed Lily and James. What he told Harry in the Shrieking Shack when he had finally caught Peter was nothing short of the truth, he would have rather died than betray them, and yet...
12 years apart, he blamed himself for trusting Peter, for leaving you alone. He had no knowledge of whether or not you survived if you blamed him just as everyone else had. The Aurors held you back as they arrested him but he couldn't tell by the look on your face. There was too much going on. 
12 years, you were married to a 'murderer'. You were now married to a wanted man, you weren't even able to go on a honeymoon. Your wedding was only two days before his arrest. 
“Do not apologize to me, Sirius,” Your tone was stiff and with meaning. “I’ll repeat it as many times as I have to, you have nothing to be sorry for.”
“Tu es trop parfait pour moi, tu ne mérites pas d'être coincé avec moi,” He muttered into your neck.
You brushed the hair that was stuck to his skin from his sweat, both of your hands working to hold his hair into a short ponytail, you had a hair tie around your wrist and tied it to his hair to cool him down. With the back of your left hand which was freer than your right that was currently running tickles up and down his back, you checked his temperature, Sirius’ body heat was running hot. To the best of your ability, you tried tugging down the blankets on both your legs.
“English please,” You teased. You loved it when he spoke French but you couldn't help but feel that at the moment it was something you weren't meant to hear. 
He unhooked one of his arms from you and grabbed a hole in your left hand, his thumb playing with the diamond on your ring. “I love you.”
“That is definitely not what you said but-” You pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I love you more, Siri."
Sirius lifted himself onto his forearms, hovering over you, his head tilted noses touching. You closed your eyes and leaned forward to kiss him but he pulled back before your lips could touch. Instead, he pecked your cheek and lay back on his own side of the bed. “Not possible.”
You went onto your side facing him, your hand holding your head up. He had his hands pressed to his eyes, you took his left hand and kissed his ring. “Hey.”
He turned his head to you, and you played with his fingers as you spoke, “I love you.”
He nodded simply, turning his head to look at the ceiling again.
“You’re never going back there, ever, I’ll fight whoever I have to.” You tried to, you were the only other person who knew who the true secret keeper was but they wouldn't hear it, especially because you had no evidence. Peter was gone, nowhere to be found. 
He chuckled, “I’m sure you will, darling.”
“Til death do us part, remember?”
He fully turned his boy to you, grabbing both your cheeks in his hands, he gave you a long kiss before pulling away and leaning his forehead against yours. “‘Til death do us part.”
~~~ translation: Tu es trop parfait pour moi, tu ne mérites pas d'être coincé avec moi ; you're too perfect for me, you don't deserve to be stuck with me.
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cursedmoon-doll13 · 8 months
Text
Relaxing nights together spent with Sirius Black.
Thunder is booming distantly outside, and rain is drizzling gently against the windowpane. Soft music is pouring from a record player by side of the bed.
Sirius never says it, but he holds you like he fears you might dissipate at any moment. Curled into him, you can hear his steady heartbeat. The fuzzy material of his bathrobe rubs against your cheek. Whispers of jokes, so his shoulders jump a little as he laughs.
You can feel the smile of his lips hovering over your forehead, the whiskers of his beard tickling you. Winding your fingers through his dark hair, further down to trace his tattoos. Some, he’ll tell you stories of, though some will have to wait a little while longer.
But it’s alright. You’re here to stay, warm and kind.
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yrluvjane · 1 year
Text
ƦƠԼԼƖƝƓ ƬӇЄ ƊƖƇЄ ƛƝƊ ƑԼƖƤƤƖƝƓ ƬӇЄ ƤƛƓЄ (Part 1)
13 Years.
13 Years since the day you believed you lost your husband. 13 years since the day your friends died. 13 Years since the day your family was shadowed in darkness and 13 Years since your life crumbled to ash.
If you had told me, 13 years ago, that there was a chance that I could be in my husband's arms once more, I would've kicked you out the bloody window.
But here you wete, sitting on one of the sofa's in 12 Grimmauld Place; a glass of wine in one hand, trying to wrap your mind of what was happening.
You sat in front of the fire place, it was not lit but it was not the fire that attracted your attention. There was a mess of floo powder all over the floor, coating the edges of the fireplace in grey dirt.
You had been staring at the that for the past two or three hours, your stare turning from one of confusion to curiosity, worry, anger, doubt and hope.
It was around 5 days since Dumbledore apparated outside the wards of your house, in hopes to speak with you about an urgent topic. At first you believed something happened to Harry, that he was hurt or attacked but no if only it was about Harry.
No, Dumbledore had wished to inform you he was in contact with your long, lost husband, Sirius. When he said, the teacup that was reaching for your lips fell and shattered on the ground, spilling the hot liquid and staining the carpet.
Dumbledore only flicked his wand twice for the cup to return to its original state and the stain to vanish; continuing as though he spoke of a new recipe he saw in the British Bake Off.
He told you that Sirius was framed by Peter and that he has been hiding all over Europe in the past two years. When Dumbledore mentioned he knew where Sirius was for two years and 'suspected' he was innocent; you had the sudden urge to smash the teapot over your previous Headmaster's head.
And now you sat, staring at dirt and getting yourself drunk; hoping to avoid your husband, who should arrive any moment now. You downed the rest of your glass and leaned over to refill it just as the door opened.
"I'm fine, Molly." You sighed as you watched the red liquid pout out of the bottle.
You are definitely not fine
A voice commented in your head, it's been 13 years! People change, what if he doesn't love me anymore, or doesn't want me around, what if he doesn't want her.
"I'm not Molly." Harry said sheepishly as he fiddled with his fingers. "May I?"
"Sure. Come on in, make yourself comfortable." You invited as you pulled your blanket and draped it over his legs. "Want a sip?" You asked raising your glass once you caught Harry's eyes. "You'll be legal in a few years and merlin knows what type of things you'll be doing this year."
You definitely were not sober.
"Aunt Y/n!" Harry exclaimed as his face reddened the same shade as his house scarf. "Just be safe, cause if you become a father before the age of 24; I will snap your wand."
Harry stared down in embarrassment and cleared his throat. "I wanted to ask if you're okay."
"Of course I'm okay! Why wouldn't I be okay? I'm going to see my husbsnd for the first time in thirteen year, where he was framed for murder." You replied in a defensive tone, motioning with your hands and heavily swallowing your alcoholic drink.
"Why does everyone think I'm not fine?! I am wonderful. Fan-freakin-tastic. I am super!"
You turned to face Harry's concerned and shocked face and realised you must've sound like a crazy person.
You took a deep breath and motioned for Harry to lean in. He rested his head at your lap as you brushed your fingers over his hair.
"I'm okay, Haz."
"It's just...this may be a lot to handle. I mean I remember when I found out the truth about Peter. I just feel like you meeting Sirius again is as scary as me meeting my parents or something. I think it's alright to be nervous." Harry replied as he played with a loose thread on his jacket.
"I am not nervous."
That was also a lie but you weren't ready to spill all your drunken emotions over to a 15 year old boy.
Harry gave you a look as if to say "really?"
"Shouldn't you be somewhere with Ron talking about Quidditch and girls?" You teased as Harry scoffed.
"If I talked girls with Ron, I'll be lonely the rest of my life."
You let a laugh bubble out of you, Harry soon joining in.
"Is Elle coming over later?" Harry asked after a moment of silence, his face flushing slightly. You chuckled. "Tomorrow morning." You assured him, knowing he had a liking to your 14 year old daughter.
"Are you going to tell Sirius?"
That was the million dollar question, she had to tell him, he was her father, she was his daughter. It would be wrong of her not to tell him.
But she couldn't help wonder, if Sirius didn’t want a child. He always wished to end the Black line. And they never really spoke about having one and maybe he would be to occupied with being Harry's Godfather.
He just got out of prison it would be insane to just bombard him with two teenagers.
"I have to tell him at some point. Though, i am compelled to the idea of leaving and letting them meet each other tomorrow on their own." She suggested, half-joking.
"I'm sure Sirius would be glad to have a daughter. 12 Years in Azkaban, I think some family company could do him well."
She couldn't believe it, 12 years in Azkaban; a soul-sucking prison, reserved for the worst of the worst. The word itself made a shiver run down your spine.
The day of Sirius's imprisonment flashed right before your eyes as though it was a recent memory.
"No! He didn't do it!" You had shouted, the Aurors ignored as they trashed your house. "Mrs. Black-" An Auror began approaching you but you pushed him with your might.
"HE DIDN'T DO IT!" You shouted, you magic flaring and shattering all the windows, a spray of glass showered the ground. '"Mrs. Black if you don't compose yourself right this instant, i will have no choice but to detain you!" The head Auror yelled at you.
You eyes were streaming with tears, the rain from the outside storm began pouring into the the house. The thunder strikes defeaned your ears as you stared at the middle-aged man with nothing but fury in your eyes.
"Get out." You gritted through clenched teeth, you hands fisted at either side of you. "I beg your pardon?" He scoffed.
"Get out of my house!" You snapped, you could feel your magic crackle in the air. The vases, tables and chairs began to shake, the flamws in the fireplace raged shockingly.
The rest of the Aurors stood in their place, unsure with what to do. "You have no authority to tell me what to do!" The Head Auror shouted at you, his wand raised to level with your throat.
With the anger inside of you boiling and reaching its limit, you yelled at the top of your lungs; a surge of magic rushing out as it exploded all your vases and glassware. The couches, chairs and tables all flying out of their place and hitting against the wall.
A moment of silence rang as the Aurors battled if whether it was safe to put their sheilds down. "Let's go," The Head Auror said as he gathered his team. "We will be back."
And true to his word, he did come back but at that point you were too numbed by the amount of calming draught, they made you ingest.
You shook your head as though it would push the memory back to the end of your mind. "I hope your right."
And no later than an hour, you were sat at one end of the large dining table while Sirius sat all the way on the other end.
And though there were only eight or nine seats (per side) that separated you, it fel as though half of London was in between you.
Your eyes kept roaming over his body, though he smiled, joked, laughed and played, you could tell he was somewhat exhausted.
That moment when when his smile fell, his shoulders sagged and his head bowed down allowing his eyes to rest on you.
You saw his eye slightly widened as though he was noticing for the first time in ages - which was exactly what was happening right now - he placed his glass of drink on the table and gave you a small smile.
The side of his eyes wrinkled at the gesture and you couldn't help but feel the same dropping feeling you got almost twenty years ago when you first fell in love with him.
Harry, who was sat next to him kept blabbing about something, but for the first time tonight Sirius didn’t look as though he was engrossed into the conversation.
Sirius stared at you, head tilted as his eyes scanned every aspect of your face. He couldn't believe it was you after all this time. Your hair was all disheveled and your makeup was slightly smudged but you still looked as beautiful as they you two got married.
Y/n subtly motions her head to the side and gets up from her seat, elegantly slipping out of the room.
"Excuse me, Harry." Sirius said, clearing his throat as he stared at where Y/n left and made his way out the room.
The halls got quieter the more he walked, he didn't have to check the other rooms to guess where Y/n slipped into.
He immediately turned towards the stairs and walked up to the upstairs library. There was only one thing in the world that Y/n liked more than coffee and that was books.
Muggle, magic, dark or light. Y/n could always be found nursing one. He quietly opened the door to it letting the smell of old tomes engulf him.
Y/n sat on an armchair at the far end of the room, looking through a dark, hard-covered grimore.
"Most of those books are cursed y'know." Sirius commented as he softly let the door shut. He took a sip of his drink and walked towards her as she let out a gentle 'Ah'.
"Most dark books are, though said curses can be avoided if opened correctly..." She said as she brushed her fingers down the spine and muttered quietly, the next the book let out a soft click as the locks on the side freed it.
Though nothing she said was processed in Sirius's head, he was still hungover on the part his wife was infront of him and speaking to him.
She turned and faced him with a small smile, "Won't you sit?"
Sirius walked over and took a seat right infront of her. He noted her flushed cheeks and the trembling hands over her lap.
"I'm sorry." Sirius said truly as he stared at his shoes.
"Sorry?" Y/n began as she stared up at him with furrowed brows, "Sirius you didn't do anything wrong."
"I did, I left you. I broke our vows, my most important promises to you." He said, she tried to cut him off but he shook his head.
"This is all my fault, if i didn't tell James to make Peter the secret keeper last minute, him and Lily could still be alive, Harry wouldn't be an orphan, Remus wouldn't suffer the full moon alone, I wouldn’t have been in Azkaban..." He took a deep, shaky breath. "You wouldn't have been alone for 13 years."
He looked up at Y/n his grey eyes meeting her's. "You don't know that, for all we know James and Lily could've died a week later even if Peter didn't betray them."
"And Remus didn't spend his full moons alone, I was with him." She stood up and sat next to him, placing a comforting hand on his knee.
"And I wasn't alone for 13 years, a part of you was with me every moment of them." She said as Sirius stared at the diamond on her ring finger.
A hesitated hand, placed itself over her as his thumb stroked the ring. "After all this time?" He said as he stared at her, "Always."
(IT FIT SO WELL, I'M SORRY!)
He grabbed her hand and raised it to his lips, placing a gentle kiss. "Your not afraid of me." He stated more than questioned.
"Why would you think I was afraid of you?"
"You didn't want to talk to me."
"Sirius, I didn't want to talk to you because..." Y/n stopped and gulped as Sirius leaned back with furrowed brows and faced her. "I didn't think, you'd still want me anymore. 13 years is more enough for someone to fall out of love with their partner."
"You really think i could stop loving you? no matter how many years apart i could never stop loving you. I loved you then, I love you now and I will love you after 30 years when we are old and grey. I loved you since the first day we met and will love you till the day I die and till the day we meet again. 13 years are nothing comparing to my love to you."
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firsttimewriter92 · 8 months
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I would love a sirius x reader fic set during OoTP where the reader works at the Ministry while being part of the Order like Arthur and Kingsley, and she's staying at Grimmauld Place with Sirius. She often comes home to find him drunk and touch-starved during the school year when the only other person in the house is Kreacher. thanks xx
Hello dear anon :) I know it´s been a while since you sent me this ask. I hope you´re still in the mood for it :P I kept it pretty tame but there´s a lot of angst and it developed into a huge slow burn. Hope that´s all right and everyone enjoyes it <3
Words: 7.536
Warnings: Angst, cursing, (f!) hufflepuff reader, mentions of Sirius being bisexual, kissing, slow burn, fluff
12 Years
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“Oh, for fucks sake, not again” you whisper sighed as you entered the kitchen at Grimmauld Place number 12. “Third time this week” you grumbled as you looked at Sirius´ slumped over figure sitting on the polished wooden table. His arms cushioned his head that was laying on the surface, an almost empty bottle of fire whisky next to him. No glass.
Taking off your shawl and coat you walked over to him to assess the damage. It wasn´t as bad as it usually was. At least this time he was clothed.
Three months ago, your boss and mentor Kingsley Shacklebolt had brought you to your first order meeting. The moment he told you what the order was and what they did, you exploded on him. Why didn’t he tell you about this order sooner? Didn’t he trust you enough? Wasn’t he confident enough in your abilities? Kingsley had just stood there stoically, letting you spit fire at him. When you´d finished, Kingsley sighed deeply and started explaining his reluctance to you.
He knew. Of course, he did. He knew who you´d meet again, once you set foot into headquarters and he didn’t know how you´d react. He was right to do so actually. The first time your eyes had met those of Sirius Black, it had flared up again. That nauseating feeling that haunted you for 14 years. Guilt, sadness and loneliness were flooding your system with only a small glimmer of hope and relief.
It was so surreal to have him in your general vicinity again. Two years younger than him, your time at Hogwarts had been the happiest you´ve ever felt. When puberty hit you like a freight train and the mischief of James Potter and Sirius Black became legendary, your hormones betrayed you in the worst possible way. A major crush on the black-haired teenager formed itself inside your chest over the years. Clawing at your ribcage every time you saw him in the corridors, you hated the feeling. You hated his beautiful face, you hated that your body reacted the way it did.
As a Hufflepuff and general people pleaser you´d despised his arrogance and his devil may care attitude. Especially towards the swarms of girls hanging onto the seem of his cloak. You´d stolen glances from afar, never exchanging a word with him. You paid attention instead. You saw everything and liked only so much. His pranks amused you; his bullying infuriated you, his attentiveness to his friends and the younger students warmed you. 
Sometimes, especially after the holidays, you saw him sitting in the great hall amongst his friends, a dull and empty look in his eyes and your heart had squeezed so painfully that you had to look away. About a second later, when you dared to look again, he was grinning and joking like nothing had happened.
And then, one year into your Auror training, your world came crashing down on you. You arrived at the ministry and immediately felt the air buzzing with dread and excited relief all at once. Grabbing the daily prophet that was handed to you with shaking fingers, your knees gave out then and there. Sirius´ face, screaming and laughing manically, stared at you. Ice replaced your blood as you´d read the news.
James and Lily dead. The dark Lord gone; a little boy still alive. Sirius? A cold-blooded murderer and traitor; already in a cell in Azkaban. You refused to believe it. You refused! James was more than a friend to Sirius. There was no way he was a death eater. Sirius had never made a secret about his hatred towards his family or how much he loved his friends.
That´s when your letters had begun bombarding the ministry.
__________________________________________________________
Now, here at Grimmauld place, you had to watch Sirius fight every day just to try and keep his sanity. Between the usual order meetings and the children coming to visit for the holidays, he drank himself to sleep every night. And ever since you´d moved into one of the bedrooms upstairs, you helped him into bed or at least onto a couch every night. Dumbledor was the one who´d asked you if you wanted one of the rooms upstairs. “Less commute” he´d said, remembering your dislike of apparating quite vividly. When asked if he had any objections, Sirius had only grunted before disappearing into Buckbeak´s room.
He wasn´t always unpleasant, however. Sometimes you did have conversations when meeting in the library by chance, although they´d always turned out quite meaningless. You couldn’t figure out if he wanted you there or not.
Around the holidays when the house was full, so his heart seemed to be. He warmed up to you, brought you tea, filled your plate at dinner (much to the surprise of everyone at the table) and conversed with you a little more enthusiastically. At these rare occasions you began to see glimpses of the flamboyant teenager return into his grey eyes and his small grins. Your heart beginning to flutter in your chest yet again. Then the teenagers returned to Hogwarts and so did Sirius´ sour mood.
It was about two weeks after Christmas now and therefore the 14th day of you finding Sirius black out drunk early in the evening. You walked over to the cabinet in the corner of the kitchen and pulled out the last flask of potion you´d brewed for him. It usually woke him up enough for you to be able to manoeuvre him around and lessen his hangover the next day. You hadn’t quite figured out how to make it potent enough to get rid of his drunkenness completely. It was an immensely complicated brew.
Sighing, you uncorked the flask and moved Sirius into a sitting position. He mumbled something and flopped around in your arms like a rag doll. Leaning his head back you put the flask to his mouth and poured. Sirius tried to get out of your grip very weakly and some of the potion spilled from the side of his mouth. “Come on, Sirius, please” you said urgently. “Swallow, damn it.” He finally did. When the flask was empty you gently guided his head back onto the table and waited.
You knew he wouldn’t be sober when he woke up but at least he would be coherent enough to work with. Slowly he began to stir. His head lifted and with a deep groan he leaned back into his chair, holding the bridge of his nose. The long black mass of hair on his head was dishevelled but still wavy and bouncy as it had been all these years ago. The little streaks of grey on his temples and in his beard only contributed to his still very much intact attractiveness.
Sirius wiped at his mouth absentmindedly and opened his eyes. Grey orbs found yours sitting across from him immediately. Instantly you recognized the defiance in them. Great.
“I asked you to give me that shit in the mornings. Not when I´m trying to sleep” he croaked hoarsely in a cold voice. You rolled your eyes. “I´m not letting you sleep at the table, Sirius. Not when you own a bed upstairs. But I can´t lift your arse, so…” you shrugged and looked at him challengingly. You´d figured out quite quickly that trying to be compassionate and soft with him in these situations had no impact whatsoever. Sirius huffed and wiped at his face again to try and gain more control over his movements.
“Never asked you to do that” he slurred slowly. Hot annoyance burned your throat when you answered in a hiss. “´S better than you trying to climb some stairs, falling backwards and breaking your fucking neck.” Sirius laughed humourlessly and looked you straight in the face.
“Not so sure about that.” He had a weird glimmer in his slightly sunken eyes.
“For fucks sake, Sirius!” you yelled as your fist hit the table. Sirius flinched only slightly as you regarded him with a furious look. “Could you at least pretend that you care about your own life? I know you´re lonely and frustrated. I´m sorry I´m annoying you by staying here but the order still needs you! Harry needs you!” You knew you had him with that. His godson seemed to be his only lifeline sometimes. “I won´t pretend to know what you had to go through, Sirius. But you´ve been given a second chance at this, even though you didn’t even get a first one. And you´re drinking it away. Stop it!”
Sirius looked at you for a long time. Breathing heavily his eyes threw daggers at you and internally you just waited for him to cuss you out. That didn’t happen though. Sirius stood up from his chair without breaking eye contact with you. You didn’t like the way he started walking over to you, almost predatory. So, you stood as well and backed away against the table. Of course, you´d crossed a line.
Watching him step closer and closer you had no idea what he was trying to do. The moment he stood right in front of you, his breath hit your face. It reeked of alcohol, and you crunched your nose a little bit. Sirius grinned, showing off his sharp canines.
“You´re worried about me” he sang triumphantly but couldn’t quite remove the belittlement from his voice. Even though you were sure he could feel the heat emitting from your face, your stomach churned with rage instead of shame. “At least someone is” you hissed quietly. He ignored it and only raised a single black eyebrow. You hated how good he looked doing that.
“Don´t tell me,” He breathed and leaned down closer to you. Fuck, fuck! Too close! “You have a little crush on me.” Your head snapped up immediately and your face must have betrayed you because Sirius´ face lit up in sarcastic glee. He chuckled darkly as his eyes scanned your face quickly. “Is that why you wanted to live here? Aw, that´s nice. How old are you? You couldn’t have been in my year at Hogwarts. I´d sure as fuck remember you.” Again, there they were. The waves of nausea crashing over you. Your infatuation with him mixed with worry about his behaviour started to become a cocktail of resentment and pity. You didn’t want to feel this way about him.
“Get the fuck out of my face, Black” you growled and leaned further away from him. Something dangerous mixed itself into his swirling grey irises and your stomach sank.
“Come on now, birdy” he whispered, leaning over you and talking against your neck. Your breathing faltered and hitched, your hands gripping the side of the table hard. “You´re pretty enough. You´d be a delightful way to pass the time.” Shock almost made your body convulse. You knew he was still drunk but his words were so clear. You felt cold, useless and helpless. His lips ghosted across your pulse when he spoke again. “Don´t be a prude, now.”
WHACK!
Your arm pushed him away from you forcefully before your hand collided with his cheek with full force, knocking him back a couple of steps. Breathing heavily, you stood upright and glared at him. His head was still turned so you could see his pale cheek turn red by your smack. When he looked back at you, you didn’t see rage or confusion in his eyes. In fact, they looked almost apologetically, like he knew he´d fucked up but was too proud to admit it.
Your eyes were slits when you spoke next. “Have it your way, then. I can´t deal with a three-split persona. Either hate me, tolerate me or fucking ignore me completely. But one more disrespectful bullshit act like that and I swear, Black, you´ll have one less ally here.”
With those venom laced words you turned on your heel and stormed out the kitchen and upstairs to your room.
Sirius stood there alone in the kitchen for another few minutes. The alcohol was still thrumming in his veins, but he was all too aware of what he´d done. What he´d said, even as he said it.
Of course, he knew you were right with everything you´d said. And that infuriated him more than he cared to admit. Why were you even here? After a stressful day at the ministry, you came back to a horribly decorated, dirty, uncomfortable hellhole of a house, a house elf that insulted you whenever he got the chance to and a fucking drunk man child. Every night. Sometimes he´d wondered how he´d gotten onto the sofa in the library or into his own bed after drinking. He´d had an idea that it might have been you, but he couldn’t be sure. Now he was.
You´d always made him drink the hangover potion that was in the cabinet in the corner. Had he ever thought about how it got there? Who bought or made it? He couldn’t remember.
You didn’t deserve this. He actually came to appreciate your presence over the holidays. He found you witty and bright, a delight if he was honest with himself. And the fact that you were a special kind of beautiful in his eyes didn’t help at all. So why couldn’t he allow you to grow closer to him? You clearly made an effort to at least know him better.
Bitterly he walked over to the almost empty bottle of whisky, setting it to his mouth. Thinking better of it he stopped, turned and poured the remains down the sink. There was a horrible taste in his mouth. Either hate me; He didn’t hate you. Tolerate me; He wanted to do so much more than that. Or fucking ignore me completely; How the fuck was he supposed to do that when you just…existed?!
He really needed to get his head out of his arse. That was no way to talk to anyone. You just wanted to help. Why though? He´d never seen you before. At least he couldn’t remember but then again, he´d surely lost a lot of memories back in prison. You must have been at Hogwarts.
Oh fuck, were you an old flame?! His body went rigid when he thought about that. It would kind of explain your behaviour towards his advances. Or…OR, you dickhead, she just didn’t want a sorry drunk, smelling like a distillery all over her. Sirius shook his head. Why was either rage or excessive flirting always his default? Because he didn’t think you´d react like that. He was way out of line of course, so he really didn’t think his hunch about you having a crush on him would have this much of an impact. How the hell could you like him when he behaved so poorly in front of you; when he hadn’t paid you much attention since you´d moved in?
Maybe he should start doing that.
________________________________ 
You lay in your bed that evening, hot tears running down your face and sweat beading at your forehead. You felt so lost. Had you really been holding onto this teenage version of him so desperately that you couldn’t see how much he was suffering now as a man?
It´s true, he´d never asked for your help. Were your actions overstepping boundaries of his that you just couldn’t see? He´d made you feel so insignificant that evening with just a few words. You felt downright dirty and even though he didn’t really do anything more than graze his lips along your neck, you felt used.
You´re pretty enough…enough. Was your intuition really this bad? Had you read him all wrong for all these years? No. He was drunk, he was frustrated, he was alone. Maybe someday he´d let you help him with at least that. His loneliness.
__________________________
The next evening there was supposed to be an order meeting and you were dreading it like nothing else. You tip toed around the house the whole day, praying that you wouldn’t run into Sirius at least until the Meeting started. Unfortunately, you weren’t that lucky.
When you made your way downstairs to the kitchen, you crept along the corridor quietly as to not wake up the shrieking portrait of Sirius´ mother. Just as you were about to open the door to your left down into the kitchen another one further down the corridor opened and Sirius walked out. Both of you stopped immediately when your eyes met. Your whole body went rigid and hot acid bubbled up your throat. Sirius stood still. He looked at you with an unreadable expression. He sighed deeply and his eyes changed into something calmer and softer.
He opened the door to the room he´d just exited again and waved you over. When you couldn’t move from your spot, his face contorted into a pleading look and he mouthed a ´please´, waving you over once again. And even though your legs felt like jelly, you started moving. Your heart was beating out of your chest when you passed him. You noticed he smelled clean. Clean clothes, clean hair, no alcohol on his breath or his skin.
You walked into the little study and turned around just as Sirius closed the door timidly behind him.
He squared his shoulder and looked at you. You were sure he could see your shiver.
“I have to apologize” he rumbled. “I behaved…incredibly disrespectful towards you last night and you have every right to resent me after what I´ve said.”
You stared at him. That wasn’t exactly what you expected. But it was also very much welcome. You stayed quiet, noticing that he was still trying to talk, having difficulty finding the words. So, you gave him time, schooling your features into not looking at him like you wanted to be anywhere but in his presence.
Sirius started pacing and mumbling before he looked at you again. “´S been difficult” he whispered. “I´m sorry, truly.” He hung his head, raking his fingers through his hair. “I´m not really sure what else to tell you. I-I don’t know you. But…maybe that could change? I mean, you live here. Might as well be…house…mates? Urgh” he groaned loudly and only stopped when you started giggling. He whipped his head in your direction and raised an eyebrow.
You stood there and watched him fight tooth and nail to explain what he wanted and honestly, after his apology you found it kind of amusing. Sirius was anything but insincere, so you didn’t question his motives in wanting to get to know you better. You appreciated it immensely and slowly your body relaxed, the acid in your throat started to retreat.
“Listen,” he said with a lopsided smile, his eyes glued to your smirk. “You can´t laugh at me for having terrible interpersonal skills. I was incarcerated for 12 years.” Your giggle immediately stopped as you looked at him with guilt.
“Relax” he said gently. “Sometimes jokes are the only thing that help me coping.” You nodded hesitantly.
“Did I even introduce myself properly when we first met?” he curiously asked.
“Not exactly” you said with a small shrug and a smile. “You were half drunk and just grunted.”
“Merlin´s beard” he sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. He stood tall and walked over to you.
“Can we start over then? Can I salvage my reputation somehow?” He stood before you. Tall, handsome and kind. His hand was outstretched.
“I´m Sirius Black. Welcome to my lovely home” he said in a deep velvety and mildly sarcastic voice that made the hair in your neck stand up. “It´s nice to meet you, ___.” It was heartfelt, the way he said it. You reached out your hand and shook his. “Likewise, Mr. Black” you said.
He didn’t let your hand go for a moment, a grin spreading on his face. One that let him look years younger, one you wanted to see for all eternity. The little crinkles around his expressive grey eyes were the most adorable thing you´d ever seen.
Sirius looked like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders when he gently guided you out of the study and down into the kitchen. “By the way,” he said as you descended the stairs. “You´ll find that my humour is kind of fucked. I´ll stop the heavy drinking, promise. So, no need to walk on eggshells around me, ´k?” He turned his head up to you, giving you a beautiful angle of his neck and the tattoos that scattered down from his ear and disappeared into his collar.
“If you´re sure” you said with a grin of your own. His eyes blitzed amusedly as the both of you entered the kitchen. What you didn’t see was the curious look Arthur and Molly Weasley exchanged when they saw Sirius pulling out a chair for you before sitting down himself.
_______________________________
 The meeting progressed and plans were made. The debate was already heated enough before Snape decided to speak. The moment he opened his mouth, your eyes rolled to the side. You resented that man with every fibre of your being. Mostly because he seemed to have it out for Sirius. Taunting him whenever he could. It was unnecessary and just plain vile.
“It´s easy for you to say, Black. You´re just sitting comfortably in your home while everyone else is either being productive or helpful. At least not all of us have to deal with your bipolar character” Snape snarled and gave you a pity filled look. You were about ready to tell him to kiss you where the sun don´t shine when Sirius spoke up. He was relaxing into his chair, staring at Snape with a victorious grin.
“Congratulations, Sniffellus. At least you got the bi-part right.”
Snorting into your wine glass you coughed several times before trying to hold back a fit of giggles. You looked at Sirius´ smug face grinning at you. His eye twitched to look dangerously like a wink and you knew that the heat in your cheeks didn’t form because of the wine.
_______________________________________
The days after became more and more comfortable. Sirius kept his promise to you not to drink excessively anymore and greeted you sober every evening when you returned. You ate dinner together and talked a lot more. You actually began looking forward to coming back to Grimmauld place every night. The kitchen was cozy and warm, soft light from candles and gas lamps illuminated the space as you sat at the table, sharing stories from your time at Hogwarts and your Auror training.
Day after day Sirius seemed to hang onto your every word more and you slowly got to know his sense of humour and therefore gradually you stopped feeling guilty whenever he made a joke about his time in Azkaban. Of course, you knew that deep down, 12 years in that horrible place left its marks, but it seemed like he was done with showing them to you.
“So,” he said one evening, cheeks tinted a beautiful rosy colour from the wine he´d poured the both of you. “You were two years under me. A Hufflepuff and a brainiac.” His voice sounded impressed. “What I can´t believe though” he said and took a swig of his wine, “Is that you were a beater in the quidditch team, and we actually played against each other?!”
You grinned and nodded. “We did. I remember it vividly. I´d just gotten into the team and our first match was you guys. You were in your last year. I tried so hard to hit those bludgers in your or James´ direction, but my strategy was futile. James was too quick, and you were too wicked on a broom” you shook your head in mock disbelieve while Sirius´ eyes gleamed with excitement.
“I don’t get it” he said with an almost dreamy look on his face. His chin rested in his palm as he spoke. “Don’t get me wrong, I know you´ve got spark but I would have recognized that in school. You told me you were a closed off and private. But then you go joining the quidditch team as a beater no less. How?”
You smiled at him. “Well,” you said amusedly and took a sip of your glass. “I was closed off, that´s true. But that doesn’t mean that I had no personality. There was a certain potential of rage. I had to let that go somewhere.” You shrugged with a grin. Sirius looked at you impressed.
He topped off your wineglass and spoke. “I´m impressed. The closed off, timid girl, grew up to be a fearless auror.” You shook your head. “Fearless is not true” you said calmly. “Fighting death eaters fearless is a stupid idea. Makes you end up looking like Mad eye” you smirked and winked at him. Your palms encased your cheeks as you spoke in a high-pitched voice. “Compared to him and looking at all this” you turned your head prettily left and right, “I was scared shitless every time.”
Sirius threw his head back an bellowed a joyous laugh. It fitted him so well all you could do was stare at him in awe. He wiped at the corner of his eyes and gasped for air. “Merlin, I really regret being such an insufferable prick to you up until now.”
“Thank you” you said earnestly. “You´re not so bad yourself.”
He smiled at you sweetly. “And we never talked in Hogwarts?” he asked. “Are you sure?” he sounded almost hopeful. You huffed laugh and shook your head. “I´m sure” you said, feeling the wine coursing through your veins, making you bold. “I avoided you like the plague.”
Sirius´s face fell, and you were quick to answer. “It wasn’t because I thought you were a bad person.” Quite the opposite actually. “More like…you were…intimidating.” He raised an eyebrow at that. “Intimidating?” he asked. You nodded.
“Yes. You and your friends…you were legendary as it was. Everyone either knew you, hated your guts or was crushing on you” you could feel your face heat up once more. “I just didn’t see the point of being one of many, you know.” You smiled at him timidly, his expression somewhat empty. “I did pay attention, though.”
A little more light appeared in Sirius´ eyes at that. “You were?”
You took a deep breath and downed the rest of your wine. Fuck it!
Nodding you continued. “Yes. I mean, you were hard to miss. But I´d often see how you joked with your friends, how you comforted the younger students. It was nice to see that side of you. It always made me wonder why you decided to act on your ´attention whore´ attitude more. But then again, I didn’t know you privately, so I don’t even know if I´m right with that.” You rushed the last sentence and reached for the wine bottle. Sirius´ hand shot out and grabbed your wrist. His fingers were strong but gentle.
Goosebumps appeared immediately on your skin. The little hairs on your forearm standing up when you looked up and directly into his eyes. He regarded you with a look full of wonder, gratitude and something pleading. “What else did you see?” he whispered, leading your hand down onto the table, not letting go. Ok, this seemed to be a little too intimate, but you were damned if you broke eye contact for even just a second. It was time to come clean.
“I saw how you always seemed different when we all came back from holiday. At least for a few years. You were always…sad one minute and then chipper the next. It looked fake.” His eyes grew wide. “I saw how your eyes would not leave Remus´ plate that you packed with food until he was done eating. That always happened after he turned.” Sirius´ fingers tightened. “How do you know about that?” he asked in awe.
You raised both eyebrows. “As I said. I paid attention. Still do.” At your words and to your utter delight, Sirius began absentmindedly stroking his thumb across the soft skin of the underside of your wrist. There was no way in hell he didn’t feel the insistent and fast beating underneath.
“I saw a lot of things that made you more than just an attention seeker to me. What I didn’t like, at all, was the bullying. James and you. You were both better than that. Sure, Snape was a little git but…sometimes you overdid it.” Sirius hung his head for a moment and nodded silently before looking at you again. An ashamed look spread across his face. “I know. We could be quite…insufferable. At that age you don’t really think about these things” he said quietly. You nodded in understanding. “I know. And I also know that Snape wasn’t exactly innocent himself. But I guess it´s no wonder he hates your guts. He´s still a bloody git, though.” You grinned at him.
Sirius took a deep breath. “You saw all that without ever having spoken a word to me?”
“Yes”
Sirius looked impressed and incredibly moved.
“´S no wonder Kingsley bursts at the seams with pride for you. I guess death eaters have no chance when it comes to you.”
Blushing hard you grinned bashfully but shook your head. “I´m not that good in the field” you said, and Sirius raised an eyebrow in doubt. “But when it comes to interrogations, if they make it that far, I´m actually very successful. I either get a full confession or at least some names. Always.” You spoke the last part with as much confidence as you could muster, hoping you´d impress him at least a little bit.
“Wow” Sirius breathed. “And you think I´m intimidating?” You giggled. “No, not anymore, actually.” He seemed very pleased with that.
You sat there for a moment in silence. Your eyes trained on his tattooed fingers still gently wrapped around your wrist. Ever tiny movement they made sent waves of shivers over your body.
“Can I ask you a question?” Sirius asked quietly. “HmHm” you mumbled, still not looking up. “Please, look at me” Your head snapped up at his tone. His eyes were filled with something so soft it made your heart quake.
“I can´t stop thinking about it…The other night, you said I was drinking my second chance away.” You nodded. “Even though I didn’t really have a first one. What did you mean by that?”
“Oh” you said and looked at him like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I meant your trial.”
Sirius´ eyebrows shot to his hairline.
“M-My trial?” he stuttered out? “I didn’t-“
“-get one, I know. That´s what I mean.”
He looked at you with a shocked expression before his face relaxed. A grateful smile stretched onto his lips as he looked at you fondly. Slowly, his fingers that held your wrist moved to lift your hand up to his face. Not breaking eye contact he gently but firmly pressed his mouth to your knuckles, effectively knocking the wind out of your lungs. Times stilled. The edges of your vision blurred, and a loud beeping noise filled your ears. It felt like you were about to pass out from a fever when his lips left your skin, and an uncomfortable cold ran over your back.
Sirius set your hand back onto the table and seemed reluctant as he let it go.
_____________________________________________
The next days were a blur. A happy blur. You were walking on clouds, you were dreaming so much more vividly and to no surprise, Sirius´ face always ended up being the main character. Sirius seemed much happier as well. He went out of his way to make you comfortable. For the past week now, he´d cooked you dinner and scolded you whenever you tried to help him out. He´d point his finger at you, his eyes comically narrowed and told you to sit down at the table.
It also seemed like he tried to be closer to you whenever he could. He´d stand closer to you, he´d sit closer to you, he´d guide you through doors by the small of your back. It all wasn’t helping your situation at all. He changed his behaviour towards you so dramatically, you weren’t able to stop your old crush from coming back. Not when he looked at you so dreamily sometimes, not when you both dissolved into laughter about some silly story, not when you thought about his lips on your skin.
Every time you thought about that night, your whole body started to tingle. The little flirts just came naturally to the both of you. So much so, that it was in no time, that the whole order noticed something was going on. Most of them seemed very pleased by the fact that they didn’t have to deal with Sirius´ outbursts anymore. Especially Remus. He regarded the two of you often with mirth in his eyes while Tonks almost ripped out his arm when she noticed as well.
The only thing that dampened the sugar high you constantly seemed to be on, was the fact that even though Sirius and you started flirting heavily, nothing ever came of it. In the last minute, either him or you, would draw back and either laugh it off or deal with a few moments of awkwardness. There was a magnetic pull forming between the both of you, and both of you felt it. It got stronger with ever shared meal and laugh.
These days, it got so much harder to fall asleep. Your heart beating against your ribcage so insistently that it was a herculean task to calm down. Apparently, it started to show.
You came down into the kitchen one Saturday morning with Sirius working on the stove. Even though you felt knackered, there was no way you would ever not appreciate his broad shoulders and lean back, covered by some raggedy old band-shirt. You smiled fondly at his back. He heard you approach and turned halfway around. “Good morning, darlin´.” Again, goosebumps everywhere and your heart going ballistic. “G´ mornin´” you yawned.
Sirius turned the stove off and turned to you fully. The smile on his lips vanishing when he saw you. “Are you feeling ok, ___? You look tired.” He rounded the table quickly and came to a stop close in front of you. So close. It took everything in you not to take a deep, deep breath.
“Fine. Didn’t sleep well last night” you said. Lie. You haven’t been able to sleep properly for a couple of nights now.
Sirius looked around your face worriedly. “Do you need one of those pick me up potions you always gave me? I can give you some money to go get them.” That made you chuckle. You lifted your hand and very gently ruffled the soft, black locks on his head.
“Oh, Sirius” you said smiling. “I didn’t buy them. I made them.” It took him a moment to let your spoken words sink in. His eyes went impossibly wide, then slightly damp. You retracted your hand from his head. 
Sirius couldn’t hold on. In one gentle swoop he bent down slightly and pulled you into his chest by your waist. Your arms wound around his neck in an instant. Delirious with happiness you pressed your forehead against the side of his neck and felt the vibrato of his voice against it as he hummed contently. He smelled divine. A mixture of firewood, tobacco and something citrusy. It smelled like coming home and you felt your crush bloom into something much more valuable. It didn’t scare you at all. You were cradled in his arms, his cheek atop your head, his hands gently caressing the small of your back. You could´ve stayed like that forever.
“There´s nothing I could give you to make up for all the shit I´ve put you through” he whispered into your hair. “I don´t deserve the kindness you´ve given me or are still giving.” You shook your head against his neck and wanted to speak, but he was quicker. “You make it more than bearable to stay in this house, love. I don’t know where I would be if you hadn’t decided to move in.”
You stook on your toes to be able to hug him closer and he pulled you in with a desperate sigh against your ear. “I was such a fucking arsehole to you. I´m so sorry.” Hot tears formed in your eyes when you heard his tone. “You are lonely” you choked out. “And frustrated. I get it.”
“…was” he whispered and slowly withdrew just a little to look you in the face. His gorgeous, regal features were formed into a look of gratitude and longing.
“What?”
“I was lonely and frustrated” he emphasized. “Not anymore.”
His blazing silver eyes took in the entirety of your face before closing them and leaning his forehead gently against yours. “I´m glad you´re here with me” he said before kissing your forehead and almost sending you to the ground. The tears spilled over. Sirius noticed them and used his little finger to wipe them from your face.
“Why aren´t you able to sleep? What do you need?”
“I think it´ll be a little easier now” you said with a watery smile. Sirius nodded his head, for the time being, he was satisfied with your answer.
“Let´s eat breakfast before everyone shows up for the meeting. The moment I have to look at Snapes hair, I´ll not be able to eat for hours.”
_________________________________________
The meeting went quite well. Most of the time people were calm and the plans you´d made weeks before, finally came to fruition.
You were sitting beside Sirius who´s palm sat comfortably on your thigh underneath the table. It burned your skin and made you a bit drowsy with longing, but you paid attention still.
After the meeting, some of the members stayed for dinner and drinks after. Everyone had a great time. Sirius and you stood a little to the side, close together and smiling happily.
“Well, finally” came a booming voice from the table and your head swivelled towards Kingsley. He had a dopey grin on his face, wiggling his eyebrows as he regarded Sirius and you. It was evident that he was quite tipsy.
“I really thought it would never happen. You two” he pointed at the both of you and with a hiss you gestured for him to quit it. “Kingsley” you whisper yelled while Sirius next to you just tried to bite back a huge grin. “What?” Kingsley slurred. “You could at least thank me, you know. For bringing you here. ´S the last thing you deserved after all these dumb howlers. Haha!” You felt the colour drain from your face. Oh no. Oh no. “Kingsley, shut up!” You hissed at him again. Sirius looked very curiously between you and Kingsley.
“What howlers did you send him, darling?” he asked in an amused tone.
“SO MANY HOWLERS!!” Kingsley yelled and nearly fell of his chair. “You´re lucky I started intercepting them when I became your mentor. If the committee had found out that the one terrorising them with howlers was actually an auror trainee…I tell ya. You wouldn’t be an auror today.”
“Oh Merlin, help me” you sighed. “Kingsley, please just drop it.”
Sirius´ face was filled with question marks. “What in Merlin saggy left nut is he talking about?”
Kingsley explained. “You see, dear Sirius. This one,” he pointed at you with a shit eating grin. “This one wouldn’t take no for an answer. She tried to send them anonymously and for the most part it worked. Until they set me on it. I found out it was you,” he playfully glared at you. You wanted to sink into the floor and never emerge again. “At this point I was already training you and you had so much potential. So, I made it work.” He sounded so proud of himself.
Sirius had walked over to Kingsley, still smiling and trying to figure it out. “What howlers did she send Kingsley? Why would they be so dangerous for her career?”
“Oh” Kingsley said, and his eyes went big. “Oh, you don’t know.” Sirius looked taken aback.
“I don’t know?”
“Yeah, the howlers, the letters she sent. They were because of you.”
Sirius went still, staring at Kingsley intently. “What do you mean, they were because of me?”
“Kingsley…” you tried again but your voice was too quiet. You could only let it happen. You´d try to explain it to Sirius later. That was, if he didn’t throw you out the house.
“They were trial demands” Kingsley said matter of factly and the air was suddenly too think to breath. You felt like drowning.
“Trial demands” Sirius whispered as he put two and two together. He turned to you slowly. You couldn’t look him in the eyes, embarrassment making your skin feel like it was on fire.
“Kingsley?” he asked in a dry tone without looking away from you. You felt his eyes boring into you. “Kingsley, when did you intercept the last demand?”
Kingsley hummed. “Hmmm…. the last one I got was about four days before your escape from Azkaban was made public. Before that, they came in once a week like c-clockwork.”
You heard Sirius take in a sharp breath. When he spoke next, he was calm, quiet and somehow sounded unsure. As if he couldn’t believe what he´d just heard.
“You…you tried to get me a trial…for 12 years?”
Your shoulders pulled themselves upwards as if you were trying to sink into your own body before you nodded, looking at the floor.
You heard a sniffle from somewhere to your right. It sounded like Molly Weasley.
“___” you heard Sirius say. His tone was choked up and still unsure. “Please look at me” he pleaded.
You couldn’t. You couldn’t bare the look on his face. He already knew about the crush you´d had on him in school and now he´d found out that even as a grown woman you tried so hard to get with him. He must be so appalled.
You shook your head no.
“12 years?” you heard him ask again.
You nodded.
“Every week?” His voice was closer now.
You nodded. His shoes appeared directly in front of you and you cowered back against the counter even further. “Don´t do that” he whispered. “Don’t…please, look at me.” His voice cracked and at that your head snapped up to look at him. The sight broke and healed your heart all at once.
Silent tears were running down his tinted cheeks. His eyes were swimming with something you couldn’t pin point. With a wobbly voice he spoke.
“You didn’t believe it was me?”
“Of course not” you whispered, throat tight.
“Why not? Everybody else did”
“There was no fucking way you´d betray James” you shook your head defiantly. “No way. It all fit too well. They used your family name and the reputation behind it. But I knew you couldn’t have been a death eater. I saw you…in school…” Your own voice began to crack when you thought back to the day you learned what´d happened to him.
Sirius nodded slowly. “Yes. You saw me. You saw me. You always have” Gentle, warm hands lifted to your face and encased it. Sirius looked at you like you were the only other living being in the world. Another tear fell down. “Don’t you ever, ever, call your feelings for me a simple crush” he said and smiled at you. “I didn’t know I had such a loyal warrior out there.” Your face was also tear stained by this point. You sniffed and Sirius gently shook his head.
“No more tears, my love. I´ve got you now.” And with that, he pulled your head to his and pressed his lips to yours. It was like a rubber band snapped in your chest. As your hands tangled in his hair at the base of his neck, he hugged you ever closer, lifting you a little and moving his lips more insistently against yours. This was right, this was perfect.
Open mouthed kisses were pressed against your lips slowly, thoroughly. There was no sound except for his breathing and his heart. A throat cleared itself in the background and with a groan Sirius let go of your lips, looking at you. His grin seemed excited. You didn’t have a chance but to reciprocate it.
“You know that it´s not a simple crush you have on me, right?” Sirius winked at you. You nodded in defeat and leaned your forehead against his chest. You felt his chuckle. “Come on, dove” he taunted you good naturedly. “Call it by its name. Please?”
Your eyes met his and they twinkled with a juvenile excitement you hadn’t observed on him yet.
“I´m in love with you” you said and smiled.
Sirius closed his eyes to let your words really penetrate his mind and soul. The hands around your waist tightened before he nodded with an equal smile. Again his lips met yours. This time, shorter, sweeter.
“So am I” he whispered against them. “I love you. My beautiful fighter. You´ve saved me.”
___________________________________________________________
thank you very much for reading. If you liked it, please leave a reblog or a comment so I can improve :) I´m grateful for every feedback I get. Thanks a lot
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|marrón pt.2|
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post-azkanban sirius x reader
wc: +2k
Part: 1 pt.3
(Y/N) awoke to the sound of the kids stomping down the stairs, probably already dressed and having breakfast before leaving to go to Diagon Alley. She rolled out of bed and drug a tattooed hand over her face before looking at the clock that said 7:32 am. Oh hell no. There was no way in hell she was getting dressed this early, she didn't care who's house she was in. 
The (y/h/c) stood and glanced at herself in the old dresser's mirror, it wasn't like she was wearing anything inappropriate; she supposed the only thing Molly might frown on would be the fact you could see her thighs, that again, were covered in tattoos, but she didn't care.
There was no color in her tattoos, just skin and bold black ink. She had begun getting them officially at 16, if you didn't count the stick and pokes her and Vesta would give each other at thirteen during their time at Ilvermorny.
(Y/N) glanced at the faded shape of a penis on the inside of her elbow and grinned, they were fucking stupid, huh? Though the memory was light, her heart grew heavy at the reminder Vesta wasn't there anymore, somewhere better hopefully.
But how the hell would she know?
Not a moment later she trudged down the stairs and stopped in her tracks when her hand landed on the doorknob to the kitchen. She made sure to pull down her shorts as much as she could and fix her shirt to make sure her bra wasn't showing. I mean they were kids.
" Good morning, squad!" she announced as soon as she swung the door open. The occupants of the room jumped about a foot in the air and did a double take when they saw her. She knew it wasn't because she wasn't dressed for the day or something stupid like that, she knew it was because they had never seen her without a leather jacket or jeans.
Yeah, she had some pretty tattoos, but she had some that were a bit more colorful. Next to the roman numerals that represented Kumiko's birthday on her forearm was a simple drawing of a hand presenting its middle finger proudly. On her upper arm was a beautifully drawn compass pointing West in honor of Connor's last name, and underneath was 'SLUT' written in pretty cursive. She had plenty like that.
" Woah," said a once tired Tonks who now looked wide awake, " How many do you have?"
(Y/N) looked to the table to see all the room's occupants looking at her with astonished expressions. Her throat tightened and an anxious shiver shot down her spine, but she managed to compose herself and smirked, " Couldn't tell ya," she chuckled.
When was the last time this nonchalant way of acting felt normal? When was the last time her witty remarks made herself laugh? She couldn't tell ya.
Even in the morning Grimmauld place's kitchen felt cold, dark, and stuffy, " I've been getting them since I was sixteen, " she added grabbing a coffee mug.   " What's that one mean?" asked Mr. Weasley.
(Y/N) was surprised when he asked, and it looked like everyone else was as well. The older man had the decency to look a little embarrassed, " Well it's a creature I've never seen before!" he said defending himself with his arms crossed. (yn)'s nose scrunched up in confusion when it dawned on her what tattoo he was referring to.
She looked down at the old faded stick and poke she had forgotten about on the side of her right knee to see Woodstock, Snoopy's friend, staring straight ahead. She burst out laughing at the realization and when Hermione, Harry, and the other half-bloods figured out what she was laughing at they too joined in, leaving the purebloods confused and squinting at her knee.
After the commotion settled down, she plopped down next to Tonks and ate her share of breakfast as Mrs. Weasley rolled out the itinerary for the day. She could feel the teens glancing toward her every now and then, she was flattered by their curiosity but also a little disturbed.
A year ago, she would have gotten off on the attention but now she wanted to crawl under a rug rather than explain her life to a couple of teenagers. 
“ It must be interesting being an auror in the states,” said Ron finally, unable to contain his enthusiasm. 
She looked up from her eggs and shrugged, “ It was,” she began, “ But for the most part it was kind of a bummer,” 
The rest of the room driven by this response looked to her, completely ignoring Mrs. Weasley, “ How so?” asked Harry, practically on the edge of his seat. 
(yn) frowned and set down her fork, “ I was in the boroughs of New York, y’know Queens, the Bronx, Manhattan, Staten Island, and Brooklyn. You meet some people in some bad situations, but they’re not necessarily bad people.”
“ A lot of wizards and witches involve No-Mag’s in their business, a lot of No-Mag kids too. . .” she paused, thinking about the bastards who would replicate No-Mag money and pay kids to sell shit for them or be fucking mules for them.  
“ You can find a bunch of poor people in New York who are willing to do anything for money, just so they can eat or by some coke,” she paused and looked at Harry in particular, “ Anyone who considers being an auror has to be able to stomach some seriously horrific things,” she said, “ But if you can help one more person it’s worth it,” 
She tried to lighten the mood with a soft smile and a lighthearted story, “There was this one kid, Jake Mariano, he was a First-Gen, Muggleborn, he thought he could do telekinesis or something. He was stealing all sorts of things money, bikes, stereos, gum- anything. Kid thought he was slick until he tried to lift my cigarettes off me,” 
The teens seemed to feel better after she told them about how she smacked the kid upside the head and took him back to his mom who was about to call the government on him. He was now a second year at Ilvermorny and doing fine. 
So caught up in her story she failed to notice a hung over Sirius coming in, he stayed by the door and listened to her story. He watched as the corners of her lips tilted upwards and how her brown eyes melted as she spoke of the boy who she helped navigate his way into the magical world.
Sirius could tell she genuinely cared about the kid and the people she had helped, but what he couldn’t figure out was why she would quit doing something she so obviously loved. 
When (y/n) finished her story, she noticed him. Her eyes widened slightly and a bashful smile found its way to her face, “ Morning,” she said.
“ Morning,”
-
After the kids left her, Sirius, and Tonks were left alone until Remus came by to get Tonks for duty and then they were left by themselves. It was a weird silence, it wasn’t uncomfortable, but it wasn’t comfortable. Maybe tense was the word. 
It was a tense she was all to familiar with. It wasn’t aggressive or sad- this shit was sexual. 
The way his eyes would flick to her breasts before looking away quickly as if he were berating himself for doing so lit her the fuck up. But she wouldn’t let on that she noticed.
“ Nice story,” he said with a small smile, and she about combusted right there.
 (Y/N) shrugged, “ Nice kid,” she replied before taking another sip of coffee, “ What are you up to today, hm?” 
“ Jack shit,” he grumbled, his mood growing dark at once. This would usually throw someone off and have them shrinking back into themselves but (yn) just nodded.
“ Join the club,” she sniggered, “ Dumbledore is still feeling me out I guess you could say, they don’t trust me to go off on my own,” 
Sirius’s mood shifted once again, “ Yeah, couldn’t imagine why,” he said cheekily, “ Nothing odd like an ex-auror in a secret line of work agreeing to come across halfway across the world to work with a bunch of strangers,” 
The (yhc) laughed, “ You got a point there, Mr. Black,” she agreed silkily, looking at him through her dark lashes. 
Sirius raised an eyebrow in her direction. He knew she wasn’t saying mister as a sign of respect, she was flirting, and by God he was too. 
The morning was spent with talk of Ilvermorny and Hogwarts, both were careful not to mention friends and more sensitive topics. Sirius knew she understood why he didn’t mention his friends, but he couldn’t for the life of him understand why she didn’t mention hers. 
What happened to her? 
Who was she?
-
Later in the day she went out to pick up groceries for Molly and Sirius found himself sitting in the den, drink in hand smoking a cigarette. Remus came in and frowned at his choice of habit but said nothing, settling in the dark leather chair beside him.
The den like the rest of the house was decked out in green and silver, but instead of millions of portraits the walls were lined with bookshelves and a single cherry wood desk. 
“ Remus, what do you think of (yn)?” asked Sirius looking up at the werewolf.
The graying man sighed and rested his chin on his fist, “ I think she’s hiding things but nothing deatheater related-,”
“ Thank you!” shouted Sirius vigorously pointing to him with the hand that was holding his whiskey, “ What do you think it is? I mean-,”
“ -and,” interrupted Remus, “ I think she’s inappropriately interested in you.”
Sirius set down his glass and stared at Remus, “ Really?” he said, trying to keep the hopeful tone out of his voice but failing dismally.
Remus gave him a hard look and the pureblood deflated, “ Oh c’mon Remus!” he groaned, “ I wouldn’t touch her, scout’s honor!” he said placing his hand over his heart. 
Remus let out a long sigh, “ I will say she is very attractive, funny, but far too young,” he said pointedly
Sirus rolled his eyes and said nothing else.
-
After dinner everyone went into the living area and had a bottle of butterbeer or a firewhiskey, “ Okay okay,” laughed Ginny, “ Never have I ever jumped out of a window and onto a broom, “ 
The twins, (y/n), and Sirius threw back their drinks while the room, sans Molly laughed, “ When did this happen?!” she shouted with her hands on her hips while her husband chuckled behind his paper.
“ Mmmm second year,” said George, “ Something to do with Filch I believe,”
Fred nodded, “ Yeah, we put Mrs. Norris in an enchanted bucket, some elementary prank I do believe,” 
The room erupted with laughter once more and when (y/n) caught her breath she spoke, “ My friend and I pissed off one of the pukwudgies at school, Clarence, and Clarence starts shooting at us with his dud arrows to mark us. . .” she stopped at the rooms concerned faces, “ Let me clarify real quick, basically giving us a detention slip with an arrow that doesn’t pierce your skin,” The room let out a unanimous ‘oh’ and she continued, “ We had let a flock of geese in the main gym or something and we had the brooms waiting for us at the window- but the thing was Clarence had a southern accent,” she chortled.
“ He was like ‘ C’mon back ‘ere you lil piss aints!”’ she mimicked,” Oh God!” she gasped. 
The room laughed with her and a few minutes later Mrs. Weasley announced it was time for bed. The kids cleared out and soon Tonks and Remus were leaving for duty. 
Once again it was just the two of them, the only thing separating them was a cushion Tonks had been sitting on. They stared into the fire and drank.
“ You always say friend,” began Sirius, causing her head to whip around to look at him, “ You never say their name, why?”
He hoped he wasn’t overstepping but he couldn’t help himself, he wanted to know her so badly. But he didn’t know why, there were plenty of mysterious people in the order, maybe it was her charisma, or maybe it was the fact she seemed like him.
A shell of her former self. 
(Y/N) was silent for a moment, looking down at a tattoo that held music notes, “ Yeah. . . the one in the story was Stephen. . . Stephen Garcia,” she said with a tight smile, “ He was one of my bestfriends,”
Sirius felt his stomach drop, “ I’m sorry I shouldn’t-
“ No it’s okay, it felt good to talk about him,” she chuckled, “ He was one of a kind, they all were,” 
She looked around and flicked her wand at the door to lock it, “ Here, and don’t freak out I’m wearing a tank top,” she laughed when Sirius’s light eyes widened when she began lifting up her shirt. 
Her tattoos were as prominent as they had been in the morning, but now her (yst) was bathed in the warm light of the fire and Sirius’s mouth was suddenly dry as he beheld her form in front of him. 
“ The compass is for my friend Connor, his last name was West so it points that way,” she said pointing to her upper arm, “ And this one on my thigh is the chorus to Stephen’s favorite song,” she explained, “ And the arrow across my hip is for Vesta because she was a fucking badass with a bow,” she grinned slightly pulling down her joggers to show him. 
“ This one is Kumiko’s birthday with a big ole fuck you underneath because that bitch was small but she could put you in your goddamn place,” 
When she finished Sirius stood, placing his glass down, he got closer, “ They’re beautiful,” he said.
(Y/N)’s heart was hammering in her chest, “ Yeah they are,” she said meeting his eyes. The world seemed to stop for a moment before he placed his hand on her shoulder and drug his thumb across her collarbone and parted his lips slightly, “ And this one?”
She smiled. The one he was touching was her simple ‘1920′ tattoo, “ For the woman who raised me,” she murmured, allowing him to take a step closer and place another hand on her hip. 
(Y/N) was finding it hard to function and she wanted nothing more than for him to pull her to him and kiss her until she was gasping for air. She wanted him to take her over the goddamn ottoman, fuck the other people in this house she really didn’t fucking care. 
He hesitated when he was three inches from her face, “ I. . . I can’t,” he said reeling away and retreating to the door. Leaving her alone ...and horny. 
-
Taglist: @notyourfuckingbusinesss​
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