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#plus. no one lives in my head but me.
romantichore · 1 month
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when I was in college, my Brazilian Literature professor told us this story about an author who wrote weekly adventures for some newspaper. as one would expect, the author was paid peanuts.
as the series grew in popularity, the author started pressing for a raise, and was always denied or told he'd get his raise after x or y issue. so he kept on writing, and funneled the story into a series of amazing plot points, only to reach a cliffhanger that had readers writing letters to rave about it.
he asked for a raise again, and got told no. so he quit, and no one thought much of it. only they couldn't find another writer to continue the original story. "too many loose ends", "no way to rescue the protagonist from this literal cliff", no one could do it. weeks went by and readers were getting impatient.
the newspaper reached out to the author and offered him more money. whatever would get him back, and the story out of the corner. naturally, the writer accepted it, but at this point everyone was curious to know how he'd keep the protagonist from meeting his grisly death. how could he possibly solve all those problems he had created in the narrative?
the following week, a new issue was published, and the story continued: "once all those problems were behind him..."
you see, this was just meant to be an entertaining story about how fiction was published in the olden days, told by a professor to future teachers. I like to think my professor was also trying to encourage us to try our hand at writing, seeing as he was a published poet himself and passionate about it.
it's been a decade since, and I think about his story often. in particular when I've been sitting in front of my computer for an hour and can't find the perfect way to end this chapter or introduce this new plot point. writing seems so complicated, and so many people have so much to say about it. what's right, what's wrong, what works, what doesn't.
but it's really simple, isn't it? start a new line, put all those problems behind you. if nothing goes right, go left. sometimes the simpler explanation is the best one. maybe there are better ways to go about it, but a patch is better than a hole.
go and open that wip, the one you gave up on writing because the plot seemed so convoluted or too difficult. press enter. put the problems behind you and keep going
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somnimagus · 1 year
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Fiona and Hewie
[id in alt!]
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How do you feel about Jack Drake?? What are your thoughts on him and Tim’s relationship?
Anon, I hope you were interested in a novel, because look, I am fascinated by Jack Drake.  He’s key to a whole lot of what I find compelling about Tim as a character, and if I were in charge of DC, I’d bring him back to life.  This would make Tim unhappy but would IMO make for good plotlines.
Jack and Tim’s relationship is Complicated (TM)...
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Jack and Tim hug in Nightwing 20 / Jack impulsively yanks a TV out of the wall in Robin 45 / Tim grieves in Identity Crisis
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“I could tell the truth.  But I don’t.” - Robin 66
...and it involves a whole lot of Tim lying, and feeling guilty about lying, and thinking about telling the truth, and choosing again and again to keep lying.
And I think that’s great.
Below the cut:
Shorter version - key points about Jack
Really long version - my gentler take (vigilantism is choir and Jack loves sports) vs. my harsher take (Jack has some major flaws)
Final thoughts
Shorter version - key points about Jack:
He’s a bad parent.  He’s self-centered, he consistently prioritizes his own comfort and interests over his son’s, and when upset, he does things like order Tim off to boarding school.
But he’s never a bad parent in an actionable way.  He’s not like David Cain or Arthur Brown, who are abusive monsters.  Jack’s not a monster!  He just...kinda sucks.
He genuinely loves Tim. If Jack’s aware that Tim’s disappeared or is in trouble, he’s always worried and upset.  He periodically resolves to be a better dad, and IMO he’s always sincere.
And Tim loves him, a lot.  Tim’s protective of him and worries about him when he’s kidnapped or in danger, and when they’re reunited, Tim’s really relieved and usually hugs him (and Jack hugs back!). 
...But they have very little in common, and that’s a problem. Jack doesn’t value the things that Tim values, or respect the people that Tim admires, or care about the things that Tim’s interested in.  Tim lies to him a lot, but that’s partly because he correctly guesses Jack wouldn’t respond well if he knew the truth of what Tim’s up to.
The Batfamily is a surrogate family that Tim’s drawn to because of the ways his real family doesn’t meet his emotional needs…but also he feels guilty about that and disloyal. (And to the extent that his dad recognizes what’s going on, he's jealous and resentful!)
Very long version:
(LISTEN I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS)
Okay!  So first: Jack’s a character who IMO is pretty up for interpretation.  You can interpret him very charitably, and make excuses for the bad behavior, and fill in the blanks sympathetically when situations are ambiguous; or you can interpret him uncharitably, and emphasize the bad behavior. I don’t think either approach is invalid - it depends on what kind of story you’re interested in!  I have enjoyed Bad Dad stories and also stories that redeem Jack.
My personal take on canon is that Jack and Tim’s relationship is in a gray area.  Jack's definitely neglectful, and he does prioritize other things over Tim, but he’s never so bad that Tim can easily reject him, and he's never so bad that Bruce could justify taking Tim away.  He's just...not great.  Tim loves him, and feels loyal to him, but it’s a very mixed-up complicated love.
I have a gentler take and a harsher one which I switch between as the spirit moves me. xD
My Gentler Take (tl;dr: vigilantism is choir and Jack loves sports)
Here’s the core conflict: Jack and Tim are very different people with different values.  Tim idolizes Bruce and Dick and vigilantism, and secretly gets involved, knowing his dad will hate it. He gets increasingly wrapped up in his secret world and lies to his dad...because if his dad finds out, he’ll make Tim quit.
This is a great setup for an ongoing comic.  It’s practical, because it provides endless potential for plotlines, and it’s nicely thematic, because it maps closely onto relatable real-life situations with extracurricular activities:
Tim the drama nerd whose dad thinks he’s playing football and not in the school play; 
Tim the closeted-queer kid secretly getting involved in his school’s politically-active Gay-Straight Alliance; 
Tim the choir kid whose dad only values making money and wants him to go into the family business (and Tim keeps promising himself he'll give up choir soon, definitely soon, but maybe he'll stay in just a liiiittle longer, because they need him, you see, the last tenor left town, so...); 
Tim the computer geek with the sports-obsessed dad (this one’s just canon);
etc. etc.  
The extracurricular metaphor works pretty well for Tim’s relationship to vigilantism.  Tim's involved in his "extracurricular" because he genuinely thinks it's important and fulfilling, and he values it and wants to be good at it. He idolizes Bruce and Dick because they're good at it. He's been collecting information about it since he was a little kid, and hiding it from his parents because he knows they wouldn't approve. And mayyyybe there's also an element of low-key rebellion against his dad, and maybe that's secretly part of the appeal. And yet also as Tim gets more and more invested, he starts to daydream: maybe I could tell my dad and he'd be proud of me and supportive. But he doesn't, because actually he knows his dad would be upset and angry and make him quit.
And - again, just like with lonely kids and extracurricular hobbies - one of the things that happens is that Tim starts getting his unfilled emotional needs met ... by people he knows through this secret hobby. And people like Bruce and Dick start turning into a surrogate family. Which Tim feels guilty about. And also as Tim gets more and more wrapped up in their world, he has to lie to his dad even more, which means the distance between Tim and his dad gets bigger and bigger and more and more unfixable.
I love this dilemma. It's simple, it's recognizable, it provides endless sources for conflict, and there's no obvious solution! Tim can't tell Jack: he'll make Tim quit! And Tim doesn't want to quit, because he loves choir / art / theater / whatever.  Yeah, it’s difficult, and there are challenges, and sometimes he has doubts...but at the end of the day, he cares about it a lot.  And everything he values is there, and all the people he admires and cares about are there, and all he wants in the world is to feel like he's one of them and belongs there. So he has to lie, even though he doesn't want to lie, and he feels guilty about it...
...but also he ends up lying more and more.
(Sidenote: I think it's important that Tim chooses to keep lying - Tim's narration often glosses this as "I have to lie to my dad," and that's certainly how it feels to Tim, but this... isn't quite true. He has to lie to his dad, because if he doesn't, his dad will get mad at him and try to stop him, not because he literally has no choice about it.)
Other Reasons Why I Like The "Secret Extracurricular" Interpretation
(tl;dr it complicates not just Tim's relationship with his dad, but also all his other relationships)
Tim's problems have some obvious parallels to Steph and Cass, who both become vigilantes while rejecting their evil supervillain dads. But Jack isn't evil. And that means the Tim-and-Jack relationship is ambiguous and complicated in ways that I like. Steph and Cass can just leave their Bad Dads in prison, and say good riddance, and feel very righteous and triumphant about it! Tim’s more complicated. Tim gets into vigilantism ostensibly out of duty and altruism, but secretly, he's also involved for straight-up selfish self-fulfillment reasons. He's lonely, and bored, and his life feels pointless, but he thinks that Bruce and Dick are cool and amazing and he wants to be a part of the things that they do.  When his dad gets jealous of Tim’s relationship to Bruce, and feels like Tim’s looking for a surrogate family, he’s... not wrong.
And the ways in which Jack is not Actionably Bad complicate things from Bruce's POV.  If Jack was a straight-up villain, it’d be an easy call to keep in touch when Jack finds out and makes Tim quit...but he’s not a villain, not really.  So what do you do?  Do you try to surreptitiously stay in touch with Tim even though you’re ignoring his dad’s express wishes and thus forcing Tim to sneak around?  Do you respect his dad’s wishes and stay away from Tim even though you have a years-long relationship at this point?  
Again: a bit similar to the extracurricular analogy.  Say you’re the choir director and you’ve built this whole relationship with a kid in the choir, and you’re an important mentor to him and you care about him etc. etc. etc.... and then right before a big performance, his dad finds out he’s been secretly involved, and yanks him out.  How would you react?  Well, maybe kind of in some of the ways Bruce reacts.  You replace him. You’re annoyed with him. You miss him. You want him to come back. You’re also worried about him.  You’re upset with his dad.  But also... what should you do, exactly?
Bruce and Alfred and Dick care about Tim as if he were part of their family, but he’s not part of their family, and there’s a lot of interesting tension there.
My Harsher Take
Jack never hits his son.  But his temper is a big deal.
In his worst moments, he takes out his anger on Tim’s stuff - wrecking his room, or ripping his TV out of the wall and confiscating it.  When he’s worried about Tim, he usually expresses that fear by yelling at him / punishing him / sending him away - threatening to send him to boarding school in Metropolis in Robin III, or threatening to send him to military school abroad in Robin 92, or actually forcing him to go to an all-boys' boarding school post-NML.  
This is bad behavior!  It is Not Good!  
And you can easily connect the dots to a bunch of Tim’s terrible coping mechanisms, like the constant lying and or the fact that Tim’s go-to methods for dealing with interpersonal conflict are 1) repress it and pretend it never happened (most of his fights with Bruce), 2) withdraw from the relationship until he can pretend the conflict doesn’t exist (when his friends get mad at him in YJ, he quits the team for a while), or 3) literally run away from home.
Also, Jack is a Manly Man with firm opinions about how men behave vs. how women behave, and he thinks boys shouldn’t be scared and thinks Tim should date hot girls and pushes Tim to work out and wants him to play football and expresses period-typical sexism, etc. etc. etc. ... and though obviously this wasn’t what the writers had in mind at the time, all of that is certainly interesting to read backwards in the light of Tim as a queer character.
More Disorganized Thoughts on Jack Drake
Tim’s our hero, so we’re naturally more sympathetic to him, but it’s also true that relationships are a two-way street, and Tim doesn’t value any of the things his dad values, either.  Jack at various points is shown to care about grades, business, money, boarding schools, archeology, football, a kind of macho bragging-about-dating-hot-women ethos, and a very public and performative kind of caring. Tim tends to respond with discomfort or disinterest or even disgust.  When Jack gets on TV to try to rally the government to save his son from No Man’s Land, Tim isn’t touched—he’s mortified.  When Jack makes some bad investments and loses money, Jack’s deeply upset and his self-image is majorly impacted, and far from being sympathetic, Tim’s annoyed and kind of contemptuous of the idea that this is a problem.  Jack thinks fishing in the early morning and going to tennis matches is a fun father-son activity; Tim finds it exhausting and tedious.  And so on.
This means that Tim often longs to be closer to his dad in theory, but this longing is more tied to fantasy than to reality. He rarely seems to enjoy spending time with His-Dad-The-Actual-Person.  So for example, when Tim’s deadly ill with the Clench, he has an extremely poignant fever dream about telling his dad the truth and getting hugged…even as he insists in real-life to Alfred and Dick that he does not want them to tell his dad what’s going on.
The same is true of Jack, who IMO genuinely wants to be closer to his son and is continually declaring that he’s going to turn over a new leaf and get closer to his son…and just as continually backs out of activities or loses his temper when faced with spending time with his actual son.
Tim and his dad sadly get along best—by far—in Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder situations.  When Jack gets kidnapped or is in danger, Tim worries for him (and Tim grieves him deeply when he dies).  When Tim disappears or runs away, Jack’s genuinely worried about him.  So e.g. they have a really moving emotional reunion and hug when the earthquake hits Gotham, and Tim panics about his dad’s safety and comes running home (and meanwhile Jack’s been panicked about Tim’s safety!).  It’s the day-to-day, regular life stuff where they don’t connect.
Jack's written quite differently by different writers. Mostly, Tim's parents are at their least likable in his early appearances and early miniseries (this is where you get, for example, Jack and Janet being nasty at each other while a pained employee looks on, and Tim disappointed to once again get news of where his parents are via postcard - "I guess that sums them up! Never know where they’re going to be–or when–or even how long!” - and Tim alone on school break, and Bruce and Alfred thinking there's something weird going on with Tim's parents, etc. etc.). Jack's more sympathetic but still often unlikable in most of Tim's Robin solo, and he's almost invisible (but positively treated if he does show up) in Tim's team books.
For obvious reasons, Jack's remembered way more sympathetically after his death. Tim's completely devastated by Jack's murder, which he arrives moments too late to prevent, and he basically never gets over it. We see him grieving Jack again and again in Robin, and also in Teen Titans, and also in Resurrection, and again in the Halloween Special, and again in Batman: Blackest Night, and all the way up to the end of Red Robin. Tim also grieves for an extended time over Janet - he hallucinates a happy reunion with her when he's feverish in Contagion, and hallucinates her in the final issue of Robin, and the reveal-your-buried-emotions song in Robin 102 brings up his grief for her too (meanwhile, other characters dance or laugh or otherwise get giddy).  Tim’s grief over his parents’ deaths is intense and long-lasting.
I'm not going to clip comic panels because this is long enough, but if you're curious, here's a nice and fairly lengthy compilation of comic panels with Tim and Jack.
If you're interested in a Jack-centric story with a softer-but-still-recognizably-canon take on Jack, I really like the way Jack’s narration is written in the one-shots Heart Humble (set shortly before Jack dies) and Never a Hero (Ra's resurrects him during Brucequest, and Jack's archeology skills turn out to be unexpectedly useful).
#tim drake#jack drake#ask tag#i wrote this ages ago and now i can't remember what i was going to add to it so oh well draft amnesty? sorry for the long wait anon!! <333#anyway i kept this carefully on topic and virtuously did not derail into talking about the other blorbo but tags are for disorganization SO#for me this kinda half-in half-out place where tim is with the batfamily is SUCH an interesting part of his relationship with dick#and i never stop turning it over in my head#he's kiiiinda replaced dick in that he's robin - but in a very real way he *hasn't* - he's NOT bruce's new son the way jason was#and early!tim makes a BIG POINT of how bruce is not his dad#and i think this relative distance from bruce is a huge factor in why dick is able to build a close relationship with tim at all#(because dick's still pretty estranged from bruce!)#and there's such interesting tension there when dick starts jokingly calling tim ''little brother'' or when villains call them brothers#because they're NOT. increasingly they would both LIKE to be brothers! but dick has zero official standing in tim's life#if tim got hit by a car in his civilian identity bruce and dick wouldn't even be able to visit him without his dad's permission#which jack would be pretty unlikely to give! jack doesn't like or trust bruce!#or like. this is morbid. but if tim died. dick wouldn't even be invited to the funeral you know?#and there's such interesting tension there for me in the contrast between this vigilante relationship that's very very close#but in their civilian lives no one would assume they're anything in particular to each other#anyway the 1st half of tim's robin solo has this thread of tension between tim's family life vs. his vigilante life (plus his mom's death)#and then the second half + red robin has the thread of struggling with grief in a world that's not fair + feeling lost/alone#and these two threads are a big part of my interest in tim as a character! jack's the backdrop that makes a lot of stories possible
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set out to create a serious, canonesque drawing with which to say "feel free to go in my lackadaisy tag and help me mystery speculate" but only got going when i made it bowling and the rarepair agenda
#not that i imagine anything w/mordecai's Rare so much as: diluted range of possibilities lol. probably someones on that mordecai/virgil life#when it turns out it takes several tries to start to get more solid footing at drawing characters for the first time: What The?????#i actually don't think i ever tried drawing lackadaisy before; against all odds....if i had i would've had a head start lol#lackadaisy#corned beef#any collectively used pairing name here? mordenico? nicodecai? in absence of otherwise Knowing:#nicodeme savoy#mordecai heller#me in '07 going oh my GOD this ART!!!! me in '23 going oh my GOD this ART!!!! & guess how i've always felt years in between#goddd perusing the gallery bonus art afresh recently just like WOWWW i'm SOOO#the collages of full-body drawings for book purchases i think like my GOD i love to see it. plus that the Extra Stuff gallery means there's#such a variety like. stuff that's clearly noncanon; stuff that could be / kinda is; jokes; portraits; story / characters insight....waaughh#also shoutout to everyone behind all the mordecais in KS Backer Art 1 & 2 like ''sexy mordecai please'' apparently lmao. hell yeah#anyways my Marigold Bowling Team headcanons are simple and straightforward: nicodeme w/the muscle can get a strike from the force of having#hit one pin that smashes into all the others; but don't underestimate his versatility. mordecai with the precision / method & absolutely#who you want trying to hit the only pin left on the lane. serafine's got like serpentine curveballs changing velocity halfway down the lane#and they've All got pointing a gun at the people setting pins / returning balls b/c that wasn't automated back in the twenties#back when everyone had customized printed tees....oh fun fact. a real live kitty cat crinkled that first pic's paper by jumping on it#or really; ricocheting off of it. classic#also the ''i want people to seriously consider nicodeme/mordecai. but also sillily'' purposes have me using Close Contact as a shorthand#it's earnest and can sure be [longhand] too but you go ''You Could Never HC Datingly Affection ft. An Always Touch Averse Character'' & i?#well i scoff derisively and slowly swivel my chair around to face you; arms crossed; smhing....hah. how greatly you underestimate my power.#you're throwing [hcs for a romance ft. an autistic character] & [that ft. an asexual character] & i'm grabbing them midair & Sips Them#ha ha why these replenish my health And experience bars....#Never Be Afraid To Forget To Draw Mordecai's Glasses Or That You Also Put Your Thumb In A Bowling Ball....he's warming up. or w/e.#nicodeme w/the boxing experience shoulders massage trope. giving that pep talk#or you can go ''get a strike or we kill you'' b/c you never have to find out if he's joking or not#mordecai unfazed b/c that's the stakes in this business (bowling) & he's autistic so always having to ignore Everyone being weird/confusing#haven't come up with a lackadaisy's team bowling pun name lol.#still feel free to go in my lackadaisy tag and help me brainstorm mitzi n mordecai's murder mystery ;w; enrichment
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cottonii · 9 months
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BASH IN MY BRAIN AND MAKE ME SCREAM WITH PAIN THEN KICK ME ONCE AGAIN AND SAY WE'LL NEVER PA- 💥💥💥💥💥
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(extra versions w/o the text and some rose petals i added last minute as well as an alt font for the text. i am very indecisive.)
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youredreamingofroo · 6 days
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people on simblr who make fullblown story posts, like dejasenti, stellarfalls, moonsims4, tricoufamily, rebouks, cinamun, and so many others are genuinely like my modern-day television (ik we still have tvs, i js dont watch tv much anymore LMAO), albeit they're not motion pictures, its just... pictures (except for gifs), they're always so well-done that they FEEL like im watching a show, like yes I will be watching (reading) this proactively, I will be that one person who likes your post five seconds after you post it (even tho im usually never that early LMAOO) and my entire day will not continue until I finish reading this post
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moregraceful · 4 months
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accidentally invented a new form of no bedtime called 11pm glass of emergency-c + 4pm latte + 8pm cup of black tea + 9pm cup of black tea
#the real question is can i go to church on less than 5 hours of sleep and still function lol#i unlocked my instagram bc church wouldn't stop tagging me to direct people to me for stuff but that meant i had to delete a bunch of pho#tos AND rewrite a bunch of captions for photos i didn't WANT to delete bc i was too mean to random sharks prospects#which is fine if it is u know the anonymity of tumblr but not public instagram where my church won't stop FULL NAMING AND TAGGING ME#''anonymity of tumblr'' i doxx myself on here like 80 times a day in front of more people than i went to college with#anyway my point is i was going through deleting all evidence of politics pens fandom and legal documents and i was like damn#my attitude towards my team SUCKS. i gotta be way less of a hater!!!#what did my prospects ever do wrong besides everything NOTHING. the system is BROKEN. i am sorry i will be so much nicer guys :(#also if u really want to be humbled. scrolling back to 2012 on your instagram and re-experiencing senior year of college. BAD#i've deleted i think everything that would reasonably get our nonprofit status pulled but what a horrific journey it was#two full hockey intermission periods of deleting shit plus another hour at home doing several more passes and then rewriting captions#so that some poor 21 year old prospect randomly searching their name doesn't see me full ass call their teammate cringe#their teammate IS cringe. but i love him. but the nuances are lost on instagram people don't understand these things they take everything#at face value#don't know why i just assigned shakir mukhamadullin they/them pronouns#i think i need to go lie in bed with a blanket over my head until i suffocate#this ALWAYS happens i get too hype about mackenzie blackwood and start listening to selena gomez and then it's like almost 3am and i'm just#fresno oilers.txt#oh and. a friend sent me screenshots of the girl she's been flirting with on a dating app and they are SOOOOO cute#i hope they make a good run of it i really do bc it was SO cute. living vicariously through episcopalian lesbians as one does#but then i was trying to figure out how to edit my dating app profile to dissuade chasers but still honeytrap guys who are tall enough#or athletic enough to pick the tangerines at the top of the tangerine tree. bc i couldn't reach this week#but there were still like god maybe 150 tangerines on the tree. i was like this could be feeding people but i'm TOO SHORT#and my life will be like this. FOREVER#icb the future of this garden is so psychologically burdensome that i'm having to build it into a dating app profile lol#well now that i'd treated this entire tag set as twitter for and hour and a half#time to go try to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and then wake up in [checks notes] four hours
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beansprean · 2 years
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sometimes you get diagnosed with ADHD as an adult which finally makes your mom actually listen to what ADHD actually is and that she didn't cure it by making me do 100 jumping jacks as a kid when I got too hyper and then she realizes that she may have it too
And then you both realize that like 70% of the family probably also has adhd and that's why we are all Like That
#adhd#not art#like???? my moms side of the family were always weird to everyone but us#so informal and go with the flow and peppy but cycle through hobbies like toilet paper#never any drama bc we forget that we got mad and just get over it and were generally nice to people#we never learned to set boundaries with other people bc we all had invisible understood nd boundaries#and just didnt ask each other weird questions#like turns out we r just a super nd family???? but it makes sense???#my 2 cousins were diagnosed as kids but they were the only ones that was when adhd was starting to be understood as a childhood disability#but you only got diagnosed if u were getting bad grades etc so me and my sister got overlooked and everyone else was too old#but DEF my granny has combined like me and my mom has hyperactive type and probably my uncle as well#and my great aunt bipolar i wouldnt be surprised if she had comorbidities her daughter idk tho#great grandparents hard to say but i wouldn't be surprised and time will tell with cousins kids#would not be surprised to see some autism in there im sure my sis on the spectrum and i may be too but with adhd its hard to differentiate#anyway this is a v personal post but its kinda crazy to look back and be like huh#thats why the fam dynamic is so different from everyone elses#we dont talk to each other for years but relationships dont deteriorate in our heads so nbd#now my dads side....my dad does have a lot of adhd symptoms as well as his dad#plus Alzheimers runs thru there which has a slight predilection for adhd anyway#why would a bunch of intelligent chatty anxious and kind people choose to live in the middle of nowhere and have silly hobbies#why neurodivergency my friend#ANYWAY the culture shock of moving away from that as a child and my parents remarrying neurotypicals who didnt understand the dynamics#dunno if it was the southern thing or the nt thing but turns out the normal way i always interacted with my parents#was seen by others as deeply disrepectful mean teenager nonsense that should be culled#shout out to the nd kids with nd parents who just spoke to each other like adults and played with each other like kids#this is TOO MANY TAGS thats how u know the vyvanse kicked in#personal
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sealrock · 2 months
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been working on these prompts in my inbox only to realize. I have no material for kirke and yves
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bedlamsbard · 5 months
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Now I'm just mad and that makes me sad. :/ I really do try incredibly hard not to hate things in this fandom, which doesn't always work out because, you know, feelings, and I don't want to think about hating things! I want to think about things I like!
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simptasia · 1 month
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mum and i were almost not able to buy our house because a real estate lawyer heard us casually say i'm autistic and alarm bells went off in her head, because she believed that meant i wasn't mentally capable of understanding what i was signing up for
#and she demanded a doctors note. which not how any of this works#theres no policy that works like that AND gps are not the people who are like#''yup this person sure is a person alright''#she just had heaps of prejudice and she let it affect her job#so a lady from one of those places that advocates for ND and disabled people tore her apart#she lost the 4000 dollars she was gonna be paid. and she got fired#and everybody else from that company that we spoke to was either appalled or pretending to be appalled about this#either way it worked out#i was so upset at the time because it was literally a week before it was time to move???#and i was so afraid of us losing all our progress#plus. yeah i was hurt by the insinuations and the attempted disrespect to my agency#also even if i was cognitively disabled... i think cognitively disabled people deserve to own houses too#i was a fucking adult and i managed to get to every gosh forsaken appointment to sign forms#and then do it all again because what i was signing didn't match what was on my birth certificate!#...not my fault - turns out the nurse wrote my fucking name wrong#anyways. i was exhausted but i did it damn it. so that bitch trying to rob us of our home??? fuck her#6 years later and the house is now 100% mine instead of 50%#and im gonna assume that bitch never got a job in real estate again#she was totally cool with me until she heard the word ''autistic''#and clearly pictured somebody... how do i put this... somebody with vacant eyes who smacks the side of their head when they're upset#not a bad thing by the way! hell i've been that flavour of autistic plenty of times. we contain multitudes!!!!#don't mean we don't deserve to own property. we live in a society!!! let us be a part of it#but yeah that was the most serious case of me being dehumanized due to what i am
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deus-ex-mona · 9 months
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“a sicks’ dream come true; coming soon to fanfic channels near you”
#presenting my cursed sleep-deprived brainworm of the day: nagisa gets sold to ft4 for uni fees#or well. more like they’re looking for a live-in assistant dude. thing. or sth. idk#and papa shiranami just sells his son off bc ‘hey it’s literal free real estate!!! plus he’s gonna get paid for the entire deal so why not?’#nagisa initially pitches a fit at his dad a la gamushara yelling scene bc ‘dad!!!!!! how could you just sell me off to some strangers?!!!!’#‘shhhh son; think of the free housing. in ✨t o k y o✨. stuff’s expensive there yk’ ‘but still!!!!!’#so nagi sulkily packs his bags and heads out; trying to motivate himself with thoughts of ‘hey at least i’ll get to see hiyori more often’#then he arrives at the train station and sees our favourite 5-man non-idol gang… and promptly passes out#when he comes to… poor guy finds himself right smack in the middle of a hugeass canopy bed#with dai sitting smugly by the side like ‘the great me carried you back mans. you’re welcome ;)’ with a tip of his cool fedora#and that’s when nagi realises that 1) it’s not a dream and that he actually has to live with his oshis now. and 2) damnnnn this bed is soft#cohabitation shenanigans happen. as they would seeing as the entire gang + rio’s niece live together in this oddly huge megu-owned penthouse#plus free bi-weekly vacations to megu’s family villa bc they can never spend a waking moment without each other#and nagi finds it strange that the group is oddly accomodating of his uni schedule when it concerns his job tasks and such…#or that they collab with lxl (hi hiyori!!!) way more than they should typically be…#but he brushes it off when rio asks him to cook with him or sth idk i mean how often do you get to cook with your oshi????#and idk eventually the jig is up and it’s revealed that hiyori was the one who was accidentally behind the whole thing#like a ‘sorry nagisa i told uchida that you’d be moving here too but lxl were there the entire time and they went and got ft4 to buy you’#or something kinda thing. idk. bc everything has to be lxl’s fault; even when they’re just lurking in the bg#i’m def gonna regret this later lmao. it’s almost 2.30 in the am; i have not written in months; and i’ve never read a sold to 1.d. fic ev er#this is the kind of cosmic horror that only sleep-deprived brains can cook up ig…….. oh wells#it is suiyoubi my dudes#the dude from gamushara
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princekirijo · 2 months
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Writing Shadow Ops lore is pretty fun actually
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abc-felixx · 5 months
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I caught my stove on fire that wasn’t a joke, I imagined my house burning and melting before my eyes as I began to realize what was happening. I said “Marissa hey Marissa” and and then a little more frantic “Marissa urgent come here it’s urgent” and then as they made their way I said “the stove is one fire”. We started to stumble around, Marissa said I’m calling my dad. I looked up what to do and in effect poured baking soda on it, but it didn’t go away. I then remembered my oven was on too, and 2 other burners, I turn everything off. The house begins to get smokey, I turn on all the fans and call 911. Then the fire was gone, but I was still scared to open up the oven or move forward. We open the windows, I grab a cigarette, and Marissa goes to the car for warmth as we wait outside for the firetruck. It was nothing super crazy. Pulling up in massive suits and grabbing like 3 heavy duty extinguishers, they see that stove is no longer on fire as I told the operator, and loosen up. One sighs, and heads back to the truck to take care of the equipment. They took my name and birthday, told me I need to clean the grease n shit from under my burners so that doesn’t happen. I’m like smokey the bear, except for not forest fires but o specifically oven fires and I actually only know one thing from what a firefighter told me once. Clean your burners and underneath them, especially if they’re old or pre-used. We talked a bit, then they left in their big car machine and flew away. They somehow managed to break our screen door with their industrialized suits of great volume as well. I then took the burnt pot upon a different burner plate and finished dinner. Overdone, I ate in disappointment and exhaustion, and returned back to my horrid predisposition. Everything is as though it’s in flames now, that’s all I can see now. I see it in everything now. I imagined much worse than what happened.
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mrs-kelly · 1 year
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man idek if i can finish this episode bc obviously the comedy is supposed to be that Charlie is getting really hurt
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teruthecreator · 11 months
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my problem is i cant physically talk abt my interests bc years of being picked on by my family for my weird interests plus the years of Literal Bullying have made it so my brain goes NO ONE CAN KNOW YOU LIKE ANYTHING THAT ISNT WITHIN STRICT SOCIETAL NORMS so i have to relegate my insanity to written posts. but also nothing i write could capture the thoughts in my brain to the fullness and intensity of which i think them and i Know it would come out more if i simply. spoke them. but i cant </3
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