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drudyslut · 13 hours

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Your requests are open again! Also this says rafe but you can change it to jj if you want!

Anyways...Reader and rafe are dating and reader has birth control but still gets nervous it won’t work so they use condoms and they both want to be closer together/not have a condom between them (but do not want to risk it), so reader suggests him practicing pulling out (while wearing a condom) and after a few times he is able to control himself, so reader says she does not want to use a condom if he is okay with not using one so it is kind of romantic and their first time with nothing between them and they feel closer and more intimate, but when he is about to pull out reader says it feels too good and tells him not to and so rafe is like “I’m gonna cum, I can’t hold it baby” and practically begs him to just cum inside (and he is like what? Are you sure?) and reader is like “I don’t care. Don’t pull out”

omfffffg. this is hot🤤 also, i did switch it to jj, hope that’s fr okay🥺🫶🏻 this just gives jj vibes bc rafe be fuckin’ without a condom no matter what, man does not gaf.

CW: 18+ only! strong language, fem receiving oral, protected sex, eventual unprotected sex, cream pie, praise and degrading.

“J, I’ve told you, let’s just practice your pulling out with a condom, and then I promise, once you can control yourself, we’ll go raw.”

You want to feel closer to him, feel all of him, as much as he does you. And even though you’ve been on birth control since the two of you started dating — two years — you’re too afraid it won’t be effective.

And the last thing you and JJ need is a baby. You’re not financially in a spot to support a child, so for now, you continue using the protective barrier.

JJ sighs. “You’re right, baby.”

You can’t help but frown. You understand how frustrated he is, you’re just as frustrated, but you’re just doing what you feel is best. You want to feel JJ raw, but you just cannot risk it right now.

“Wanna practice now?” You ask with a smirk on your lips.

JJ grins widely, showcasing his perfectly straight, white teeth. “Absolutely I do.”

He walks toward you, his large hands grabbing your thighs and lifting you up. You wrap your legs around his waist, giggling when he slaps at your ass. “‘M gonna enjoy fucking you, taking out my frustration on you. Once I get my control, ‘m taking this sweet fucking pussy raw.”

The two of you reach his bedroom in the chateau, and he tosses you onto the bed, making you squeal and giggle uncontrollably. “Fuck me, JJ. Take your frustrations out on me. I can’t wait to feel all of you, so learn control fast.”

It’s been two weeks of you and JJ practicing his pulling out with a condom on. He’s finally ready, he finally gets pulled out perfectly, and you know he’s going to come to you soon about going raw.

“Baby, c’mon. I wanna taste you.”

You smile, taking a bite of the apple you’d grabbed out of the fruit bowl. “Mmm, I dunno baby. ‘M not really in the mood.” You joke.

JJ’s eyes narrow. He takes two long steps toward you, making you step back. Your back presses into the counter behind you, and his arms come to rest on the counter on either side of you, caging you in. He lifts his right hand, running it down the side of your face before he knocks your apple into the floor, making you gasp.

“I was eating that!”

He runs his hands down your sides, resting them on your hips. He tightly grips at your waist, lifting you and resting your ass on the countertop. “So? I wanna eat now. I’m starved baby.”

You suck in a sharp breath when his fingers find your exposed thighs, running them up slowly until they disappear under the soft fabric of your dress.

His fingers find your panties, running over the soaked material. “She’s already wet for me baby. Begging for my tongue and cock.”

Your hips buck off the counter, and a moan escapes your lips. He pulls your ass to the edge of the counter, and you place your hands behind you, supporting your weight and keeping yourself from falling.

He drops to a squatting position, tossing your legs over his shoulders and pushing your panties to the side. He runs his index finger through your arousal soaked core, gathering your arousal on his finger before removing it and bringing it to his lips, humming in approval. “Hmmm. So fuckin’ sweet, always baby. Like fucking honey.”

You moan loudly at the sound of his low and raspy voice, the dirty words making your pussy wetter.

“Shit! Stop teasing, J.”

He smirks, leaning his head forward and sinking his teeth into your inner thigh, making sure to leave marks. “J, please?” You beg, the feel of his tongue running over your inner thighs, licking over the fresh teeth marks, has you squirming.

“Such a needy little slut for me.”

He runs his tongue through your slick folds, slowly licking you from your entrance to your clit. Your entire body jerks when the tip of his tongue licks over your sensitive bud.

JJ’s tongue pushes inside your entrance, teasing you as he rubs lazy circles around your clit. He flattens his tongue, his head moving up and down as he devours your pussy. He pulls his head back, shoving two fingers inside you and sucking your clit into his mouth. He licks and sucks at your clit, fingers harshly pushing in and out of you until he has your entire body shaking.

“JJ-” you breathe out. “Fuck me, please”

He slows his fingers, letting your clit fall from his mouth with a pop. He removes your legs from his shoulders, standing to his full height and popping the button on his jeans, his zipper following quickly behind.

You stare down at his hard cock through your lashes, his right hand firmly gripping the base. He strokes himself softly a few times before he teases his head at your entrance. Your heart hammers in your chest, you’re about to feel all of him for the first time, and him feel all of you.

You let out a small whimper when he pushes his head inside. “Fuck, already feels s’much better baby girl, goddamn.”

He slowly sinks more of himself inside you, pushing each inch inside little by little until he fills you to the hilt. A loud moan is ripped from your chest when his swollen tip hits that spot inside you that has you seeing stars.

JJ doesn’t move, his eyes squeezed shut as he focuses on the feel of your warm, wet pussy wrapped around him. “Fuck, baby. This pussy feels even better than I imagined, so wet and warm, gripping my cock like she was made for me.”

He begins to slowly pull himself out, his eyes watching in awe at how tightly your pussy gripped him, a creamy ring already formed around his cock.

You whimper as he slowly pulls himself from inside you, missing the feel of his thick cock inside you once he fully pulls out. You open your mouth to beg him to put it back in, but he’s harshly slamming back into you before the words come out, making you cry out his name as his tip nudges against your g-spot.

“F-fuck.. JJ, you feel so fucking good, so b-big! Oh, my God.”

JJ’s hands grip your hips tightly, fingers digging into your soft, plump flesh as he brutally pounds himself into you. “Such a good fucking girl, taking my dick so well, look at how she grips my cock baby. All fuckin’ mine!” he grunts out breathlessly.

Your eyes wander down to where the two of you connect, your eyes rolling into the back of your head, pussy clenching around him tightly from how good it feels to finally feel all of him.

“J-JJ! Fuck, ‘m gonna… ‘M gonna cum! Go harder, please!” you beg, your hands finding his upper arms and gripping at them so hard you feel the skin break beneath your nails.

Your pleas for him to fuck you harder spur him on, his large hands gripping the underside of your ass and lifting you from the countertop. He stills himself inside you, steadying himself and making sure his hold on you is secure before he begins fucking up into you harder, faster.

The room is filled with the lewd squelching of your pussy, skin slapping against skin, and you and JJ’s moans mixing together. Your pussy tightens around him, a sweet tightness building in your lower belly as your orgasm nears. JJ can sense you’re close, his darkened over blue eyes finding yours, “Let go f’me baby. Make a fucking mess all over my cock, wanna feel you come undone around me.”

JJ’s words mixed with his harsh thrusts send you flying off the edge. Your pussy tightens, stars exploding behind your eyes as you come hard, soaking JJ’s cock and thighs. “Fuck! JJ, don’t stop, don’t… Don’t fucking stop!”

“‘M close, princess, gotta… Gotta pull out.” JJ says breathlessly.

You wrap your legs tightly around his waist, burying your face into his neck as your lips attack the skin with bites and kisses. “No! Don’t, don’t pull out, J. Just… Just keep going, shit!”

JJ’s mind goes foggy, hearing you beg him not to pull out was the hottest thing he’d ever heard, and honestly, he didn’t want to pull out, you felt too fucking good to stop. Sure, neither of you were thinking clearly, and he’d definitely have to find the money to buy you a plan B, but it was going to be worth it, to fill your pussy with his cum and watch it drip from your pussy.. Yeah, it was worth it.

His hips begin stuttering, his dick twitching as he thrusts himself up into you a few more times. He feels his dick swell inside you, twitching one final time before the hot ropes of his release spill inside you.

“Ffffuck, baby.” JJ groans, thrusting up one final time.

He sits you back onto the counter, slowly pulling himself from inside you and watching in awe as his thick, white cum leaks from your sensitive hole.

He grins, leaning forward and kissing your lips. “So beautiful when you’re dripping my cum.”

You let out a breathless giggle, your head falling forward as you whisper, “That was worth the wait.. We’re never going back to condoms, ever. ‘Kay?”

jj taglist: @ivy-34 @thelomlisrafecameron @writingjjfics @always-reading @harrys-humble-housewife @maybankspov @immyowndefender @jjmaybankswifes-blog @lizcameron @moremaybank @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @thewitchesofart @unsaidjaelinrose @itsmytimetoodream @abbybarnesstuff @r1vrsefx @rafetopia @jade-is-jaded @lexasaurs634 @drewstarkeyslut @presleyanswrites @carma-fanficaddict @rafescokenostril @madzzz0797 @slytherhoes @jscameron @jjsmarijuana @ijustwanttoreadlols @luversgirl @skyesthebomb @nirvanaissogood @mxlti-fand0m-imaginess @superlegend216 @redhead1180 @crgirlsworld @atorturedpoetx @maybankslover @cantstoptherecs @anqeliclust @ratatioulle @pradabambie @biggesthat3r @wearemadeofstardust0 @everydaydreamer @amournoir @romaescapes @tayrcse @andy-15-07 @rafescurtainbangz @joemama352

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#jj maybank #obx jj maybank #jj maybank smut #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank request #jj maybank x you #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank brainrot #jj maybank fic #jj maybank one shot #jj smut #obx jj #jj x you #jj maybank x reader

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snowyquokka · 1 day

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jeongin x fem reader

cw: angst (😈), breakup, kissing, swearing, mutual pining, mentions of cheating, kinda toxic/asshole seungmin (FORGIVE ME), not proof read bc why tf would i do that (im too lazy so my apologies if some of it doesn’t make sense lmfao-)

wc: 3.1k

a.n - so this is not how it was originally supposed to be 😭 it started as a seungmin fic but spiraled into whatever monstrosity this is lmao. everyone thank @solisyeah for the request ily. anywho i hope it’s good <3

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Seungmin furrows his brows as he inspects the photo on his screen. A photo of you with another guy, in his lap with your face nuzzled into the crook of his neck.

Just like you do with Seungmin.

On the very couch he’s sitting on.

At first he thought it was edited, because there’s no way you’d cheat on him, right? But as he took a closer look he just knew it was real.

He was tired, sore, and downright miserable from a rough day at the studio; he had to take way too many breaks for his liking and this picture was just the thing he needed to send him right off the deep end.

He shot up from his spot on the couch so fast it made his head spin, but that didn’t deter him from storming into your bedroom where you were sitting on the bed, aimlessly scrolling through your phone. Once you see his face you can automatically sense something’s wrong.

“Seung?” You tilt your head as you watch him take your apartment key off of his key ring before placing it on your dresser with a clink.

“Seungmin what are you doing?” You jump off of your bed as he slides his shoes on. He runs his fingers through his hair with a frustrated huff.

“I don’t- I think we just need a break. I need a break.” These words were the last thing you imagined to ever come out of his mouth, in this context especially. Or lack there of.

“Wha- why?” Your eyes glaze over with unshed tears that threaten to spill at any given moment. You don’t want to cry in front of him, you’ve always hated having your raw emotions on display like that, especially in such a powerless situation. “Seungmin, talk to me. What the fuck is going on?”

“Don’t play dumb with me. I’m not stupid.” Seungmin shakes his head “Did you really think you could hide it from me?”

“Hide what, Seungmin?”

“You should’ve just fucking left me. Spared my feelings, maybe. But I guess you’re just too selfish for that.”

Without another word he rushes out of the room, leaving you in shambles with nothing else to do but slide to the floor, curl into yourself and let the sobs take over your body.

Seungmin can hear you crying before he even walks out of the front door, causing his heart to clench in his chest and his gut to twist. Standing with his hand just brushing the door handle, he has to physically force himself to press on, to let you go, to accept his reality. The door slams shut behind him and the noise only pushes you further towards the realization that this is actually happening. You aren’t hallucinating, this isn’t some fucked up fever dream or an even more fucked up prank.

You just wish you knew why. No matter how much you try to put the pieces together, you’re always missing something. You can’t think of anything that could’ve set him off. Everything was perfectly normal less than an hour ago, yet all it took was five minutes to trigger the downward spiral of what feels like the end of the world- the end of your world.

“What’re you doing back here?” Jeongin slides next to Seungmin - who is still eyeing up the picture on his screen - on the floor. Jeongin nods towards the phone, “What’s that?”

Seungmin huffs and leans his head against the wall behind him, “I honestly don’t fucking know, I don’t even really want to know, actually.”

Jeongin reaches for the phone, pulling it out of Seungmin’s grasp. His lips part in a silent ‘oh’ as he inspects the photo. He’s assuming Seungmin hadn’t even given you a chance to explain solely based on his reaction, in typical Seungmin fashion. Jeongin turns his body to face the other, his face set in an almost disappointed expression.

“I’m going to say this with the utmost respect and I need you to not cause me any bodily harm-” Jeongin sighs before continuing, “You’re a dumbass. Like the dumbest dumbass I think I’ve ever seen. Like paboracha level dumbass. I’m talking-”

“Are you done?” Seungmin groans and squeezes his eyes shut.

“Are you done? God- you just fucked yourself over. If I were you I’d start praying that she’ll still take you back after all this crazy shit.”

“How did I fuck myself oven when she’s the one cheating? Or am I supposed to just forget about that and take the blame for it all like usual? She brought another guy into the same place I spend almost all my time at, and probably fucked hi-” Jeongin slaps his hand over Seungmin’s mouth, effectively silencing him before he could carry on with his bullshit.

“Hyung. Shut up.” The maknae slowly pulls his hand away as Seungmin’s eyebrows shoot upward. “Look I get it, you’re tired, you’re upset, you’re angry bu-”

“Can you fucking blame me? I can’t unsee it. I mean, you see how comfortable she looked with him.” he clenches his fists.

“Will you keep your mouth closed already? You’re killing me here, got a massive migraine now.” Jeongin groans and rubs his temples as he speaks “That picture was taken over a year ago. Before you even knew she existed, hyung. Besides, I know her better than anyone ever will, other than you obviously, which is why I suggest that you get your ass up and go apologize for being such a dumb fuck. Beg for her forgiveness if you gotta. Maybe get on your knees while you’re at it.” he sighs and stands, holding his hand out to Seungmin before pulling him up.

“How do you know she isn’t lying to you? How do you know she isn’t lying about anything else?” Seungmin finally says.

“Because she loves you too much to do that to you. God, have you always been this dense? You seriously need to wake up and realize how stupid you sound.” Jeongin mocks, prompting Seungmin to glare at him one last time before walking out of the studio. All the while unbeknownst to the younger standing with a frown threatening to pull at the corners of his mouth.

“He’s a fucking idiot if he let’s her go over this,” he mutters begrudgingly while he listens to the soft pur of Seungmin’s car in the distance.

Almost a week later you’re still waking up with puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. The first thing you notice is Seungmin’s apartment key still sitting on the dresser untouched. Well, it used to be his. You were really hoping that it was all just a shitty nightmare and that you’d still be tucked in his side with his soft snores being the only sound to fill the room even though it’s days.

You realize what had stirred you awake as another knock fills the almost suffocating silence. You’re half tempted to just ignore it, but something in your gut tells you to answer it.

“Oh, uhm- hi Innie.” you wipe your eyes with the sleeve of your hoodie. Or Seungmins hoodie, rather.

God you need to pull yourself together. How could you not even realize what you were wearing. Fuck.

“Hey,” Jeongin rocks back on his heels somewhat awkwardly, “Can I come in?”

You nod and mumble a soft ‘of course‘ as you move out of the way for him to slip past the threshold and into your apartment while you take a moment to collect yourself, and to put on the most convincing smile you can possibly muster.

“What’s up?” you find a spot on the couch next to him as he scans the room for a second, looking for any signs of whether or not Seungmin actually showed.

“He’s not here, is he?” Jeongin turns to you with sympathetic eyes, finding your own longing for comfort, seemingly pleading him for some sort of consolation.

“N-no but he’ll probably be back so-”

“He’s not coming back, y/n. If he was, it would’ve been days ago.”

Before you can open your mouth to protest, Jeongin has you pulled into his strong chest and tucks your head under his chin gently. “It’s okay, baby. I got you.” he sighs, rubbing small and slow circles on your back just the way he knows you like. He places a small, chaste kiss on the top of your head because he’s learned over the years that the action relaxes you and makes you feel secure.

Jeongin knows you like the back of his hand. Sometimes he thinks he knows you better than he knows himself. He knows your favorite food, your favorite season, your favorite movie. He knows how much you love to read, having periodically skimmed your shelves for books you may have and promptly buying you ones that you haven’t already buried your nose in.

Most importantly, he knows exactly what to say in order to subside your bad moods (he’s well seasoned in this field), and that sometimes you say things you don’t mean yet he never - and will never - hold that against you.

He knows just how much you loved Seungmin, not even wanting to imagine the amount of absolute heartbreak you’re feeling. Despite all this, he can’t help but feel somewhat relieved. You and Seungmin undoubtedly wouldn’t have worked in the long run and that’s exactly what you desire and deserve: a stable, long term relationship where you’d be taken care of and treated like the absolute goddess that Jeongin thinks you are.

He just wishes you give him a chance to treat you like his- more so than he already does now.

“Thank you, In,” you mumble into his chest.

“You don’t need thank me, baby. You know I’m always here.”

You did know that, you’ve always known that. Jeongin doesn’t let you doubt how much he cares for you, he’ll spend every waking moment reminding you if he has to.

You pull back slightly to look into his eyes. “I always end up burdening you with my problems.” Jeongin’s eyes soften at your apology and all he wants to do is hug and kiss and cuddle you until he thinks he’s convinced you enough of his adoration.

But for now all he can do is settle for words, though he can’t help but think it won’t be enough.

“Baby, please don’t be sorry for that. What kind of best friend would I be if I never listened to your complaints or rants?” Calling himself your best friend took more out of him than it should have and he tries to hide his hesitation. Thankfully you hadn’t noticed.

Hearing Jeongin say this makes you realize that he’s treated you better than any boyfriend you’ve ever had. Seungmin never reassured you like Jeongin does. Actually, now that you think about it, Seungmin didn’t do half of the things Jeongin does, even if it was the bare minimum.

He’s always like this, but why does it feel different now?

That’s just his personality, right? There isn’t any hidden meaning behind his words or gestures. Or the way he’s holding you and speaking to you like you’re the most precious thing he’s ever had contact with. The sudden urge to reach out and cup his face is unreal. You just want to make sure you aren’t hallucinating. You wonder how you managed to find such a perfect person who thinks the world of you just as much as you do them. Someone who loves you just as deeply and truly as you do.

Wait what?

You’ve singlehandedly scared and confused yourself all at once now. Obviously you love him and he does you, but it feels as though you love him in a different way. A special way, one that you don’t think you’ve ever felt for anyone. Not even Seungmin, who you once thought was hands down your soulmate.

What you failed to realize, however, was that your soulmate has been here the whole time, and he’s holding you in his arms like he never wants to let you go.

You cut off your train of thought because he doesn’t want you like that and you’re making assumptions that could get you hurt.

Too late.

Another wave of sadness that has nothing to do with what upset you earlier washes over you.

“Baby? Hey, where’d you go?” Baby. Fucking baby. He’s got to stop calling you that. You want to tell him to stop, so why can’t you open your mouth and form those simple words.

“Mhm, ’m okay.” You can’t even bring yourself to put the tiniest bit of distance between your bodies.

You mentally scream at yourself for sounding so noticeably pathetic. He must think you are how could he not when you’re making it so painfully obvious.

“Don’t hide from me, baby. You know you don’t need to hide anything from me.” How ironic.

“I’m not- I just-” you huff and lean your forehead against Jeongin’s chest. God, when did he get so…buff? Has he always been like this?

He pulls your head back to force your gaze to meet his. “What did I tell you, hm? Talk to me baby. I’m all ears.” His arms encircling your body is the last straw before the world comes crashing down on you.

Tears flood your vision and you aren’t even sure as to why you’re crying this time.

Pathetic and dramatic. Great.

Jeongin immediately thinks he’s overstepped now, he took it too far and made you uncomfortable. He removes his hands from you immediately though the action kills him inside, when in reality you want the exact opposite. You want him to pull you closer, you want your chest flush against his to the point where you can feel his heart beating.

“I’m sorry, Innie. I’m sorry.” You finally climb out of his grasp and step away from him. He follows you and with every step he takes forward you move backward until you collide with the wall.

“Why are you sorry when you didn’t do anything wrong? I don’t want you apologizing to me for no reason. If anyone should be apologizing it’s Seungmin, but it’s his fault and his loss, you know that.” You wish Jeongin would stop being so supportive, it’s making it ten times harder to ignore your surfacing issues.

“That’s not the problem, Jeongin.”

Since when did you call him by his full name?

“Then what is it? Is it me? Please I- I just want to help you.”

Your tears have finally halted and you couldn’t be more thankful. You need to be able to properly look into his eyes.

“You can’t help me.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do.”

“Why are you being so difficult all of a sudden?”

“I’m not.” You cross your arms over your chest.

Jeongin blows out a frustrated huff. “Why can’t you tell me? Is it because Seungmin and I are friends becau-”

“I love you.”

“I know you do, which exactly is why you should be talking to me right now instead of bottling it all up-”

“No, Jeongin. I love you. Not in a friend way, not in a platonic way. I want to kiss you and hold you and-” You’ve worked yourself up so much you have cut yourself off in order to calm down.

Jeongin’s mouth stays agape for a solid five seconds before he even processes what you’ve said. “You love me?”

“Is that not what I just said?” Jeongin has to bite back his smile at your remark but quickly frowns again at the expression on your face. You look regretful, like you wish you never spoke. You’re just waiting for his rejection, willing it to come faster so you he’ll leave and you can wallow in self pity by yourself in the comfort of your bed. You disturbed the peace that was your friendship.

“I- the breakup is still fresh and you aren’t thinking straight, baby. Don’t say things you don’t mean.” Jeongin pleads. Is he trying to convince you or himself?

“But I do mean it Jeongin. I really do and I can’t believe it took me this fucking long to figure it out and I wish I’d never caught feelings because this is just a shit show now.”

He goes to speak but you quickly interrupt him. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. Just forget about it,” you expect him to leave, or to at least move away. But he doesn’t, instead he leans in closer to your ear and whispers in a hushed tone,

“Didn’t I just tell you to stop apologizing, baby?” The way he says ‘baby’ sends shivers down your spine, it’s different than the other times he’s called you that. This time his words actually do have a hidden meaning. His breath ghosts the shell of your ear for a moment before he slowly pulls back to look at you. As if he hasn’t studied your every feature to the point where you’re engraved in his mind.

“You have to promise me that you actually understand what you’re saying and that it isn’t the post breakup neediness talking.” He looks at you sternly and fully expecting a response in words.

You, on the other hand, have absolutely no intention of speaking as you instead grab him by the collar of his hoodie before pressing your lips against his.

Kissing your best friend is much more intimate than you ever expected. He kisses you like it’s not the first time and with more than enough purpose. It starts off aggressive but soon simmers down into a delightfully slow and passionate rhythm and as cliche as it sounds, it’s in this moment that you finally know where you belong, where your home is.

No matter the circumstances, Jeongin always left a space for you in his heart. His subconscious wouldn’t let him fill it with someone else even if he wanted (which he didn’t), forever waiting for you to find the spot with your name written all over it and stay there for as long as you may live.

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tags: @skzstarnet @godslino @myseungsunglove @seungseung-minmin @azuna-sz @chanyeolsrealwife

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james-stark-the-writer · 4 months

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feel like pure shit, just want her back

#james talks #riverdale #miss the whole crew really but Betty especially bc Lili was so magnificent #god as perfect as the finale was (and it really was one of the greatest finales ever) i wish we had gotten another season #they had as good a run as a show on that network could hope for but there are few shows on there that eclipsed the network like Riverdale #like the list includes like. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Gossip Girl. and ig The Vampire Diaries. and that's it.#(that list is for shows almost exclusively produced by the CW. CXG DID have other producing companies but it was largely the CW).#no show will ever quite be like Riverdale ever again and no show will ever reach the heights it did.#especially not on their shoestring CW budget.#like honestly i just need more Riverdale in my life.#like RAS and the writing team found such a great way to turn their weaknesses into strengths.#as an article on the show once said [paraphrased]: it was a great show that was really good at pretending to be bad.#even now nobody gets the show like i do.#everyone thinks it's some silly little show about crazy shit with crazy plotlines and pretty lighting and aesthetics but no substance—#when in reality it's an incredible pulpy anti-fascist text questioning the role of authority using those aesthetics for a larger purpose #but i'll save the real analysis for whenever i get around to actually making the Riverdale video essay i need in my life #unless Quinton Reviews or SuperEyepatchWolf beat me to it first. they're the only people who i think will actually understand the show.#like SuperEyepatchWolf's video on the show is already pretty fun even if it's a little dismissive of the substance of the show—#(tbf to him it only covered up until the S05 mid-season finale and S06 hadn't released yet)#but like he at least feels like he gets the spirit of the show. especially with the wrestling comparison.#and i hope i don't need to explain why Quinton would get it.#anyway. i need the Riverdale crew back.

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duckiemimi · 2 months

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it’s bpd

#puts a lot into perspective i think #cost me a lot too especially my last major split #i’m doing cbt but my parents really want to try hypnotherapy so we’ll see (my poor bank acc…)#lots of things i wish didnt happen but for some reason i’m mostly bummed bc all my writing is just depressing #which is fine! but (and maybe this is my tendency to be harsh on myself) a bit corny even by my standards #i’m glad we had the bipolar misdiagnosis straightened out bc i dread going back on lithium (though at one point i thought it helped)#(i mean despite the way bpd is treated online i guess)#thank u all so much for ur kind messages and comments!!! i’ll never run out of gratitude #but i’m sorry if i don’t respond to everyone!#i’ll pop up once in a while (?) and i’ll make sure it’s good i hope that’s okay!

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suffarustuffaru · 5 months

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Not to be negative or a hater, but I personally don't find some of emilia's seemingly "adorkble idiotic airhead" moments and related speeches "cute" or "funny" rather...cringe and baffling. it seems like tappei simply doesn't understand the difference between a naive person and someone with an extremely low IQ, maybe tappei tried to create some comedy with that way to show emilia's dorky charm but honestly it's SUCKS unfortunately that big troll seems to be very stubborn to portray emilia that way over and over and over again without finding it kinda problematic at all, and honestly it's starting to piss me off about him. I know that emilia actually has a lot of smart moments in the story, but for some reason I just can't get into characters like her despite her kindness and thoughtfulness as well as other wonderful qualities,sorry.

hi anon!! thanks for the ask, this is something that i think a lot, actually. the thing with rezero is that it has a few glaring major flaws and then all the smaller flaws stem from those things. and by major, it is major. its genuinely problematic. i dont use that word lightly. and emilia is one of those characters that suffers from it the most, especially when shes rezeros deuteragonist. but you wouldnt know that from the way tappei treats her sometimes.

also uh quick disclaimer i hope no one kills me for my opinions in this ask haah i promise ill explain.

i will preface this off by saying - yeah, emilias one of my favorite characters in all of rezero actually. shes one of my favorite characters of all time in general too.

tappei does do some things right with her - her base character is lovely, her backstory is complex and explains so much of the foundation of her character, her role in the story is fascinating, her arc 4 development is amazingly written imo, her kindness despite all the pain shes been through due to factors out of her control is very admirable... to me personally, shes someone i can relate to and a character that i love a lot. i see her and i understand why subaru wants to help and protect her so bad because she truly is a sweet person trying her best but she is continually fucked over. i want her to succeed!! i want her to struggle but eventually prove everyone whos ever been against her wrong!! i want her to find true happiness and grow and change as a person!!

but at the same time shes not just fucked over in universe. shes fucked over by the way tappei writes her, because he keeps dropping the ball when it comes to these things. so i really understand anon a lot for not being able to get into emilia, and i also really understand anon because i too am getting a little pissed off at tappeis writing sometimes hah. so in regards to not being able to get into emilia for some reason—yeah, i think theres a lot of reasons for this due to how tappei writes rezero.

for example. emilias “dorkiness” is sometimes good. and then sometimes its bad because tappei wants to keep making her “stupid” and “childish” in very insulting ways. having a low iq and being childish isnt bad. the way tappei treats it in his story is.

rezero in general is kind of weird in its treatment of women in that it has all these varied female characters with unique backstories, personalities, motivations, etc etc. there will almost always be a great foundation for all these characters, but tappei will continually do things to ruin it a bit down the line and waste potential. or there will be flaws from conception that get worse over time. its a huge mixed bag.

and its also really obvious again in media like this because if youre paying attention, its very easy to notice that male characters will always get more attention and more consistently higher quality writing compared to the female characters.

(warning ahead for more discussion of rezero's misogyny and tendency to sexualize children, by the way)

tappei's poor writing with women also kind of applies to children. because treatment of children and women in rezero are very intricately linked. im gonna explain this in a hopefully handy and useful and understandable list that goes through a lot of tappeis usual tropes regarding children and women in rezero:

tappei continually writing excerpts that go way too in depth about womens and young girls breasts and bodies in general in very objectifying ways. im gonna be entirely honest a good number of sentences in rezero belong on r/menwritingwomen. why do we need to keep hearing about their body parts like this? ESPECIALLY when it comes to the children. its frankly disgusting.

women/girls who are in love / involved with an older man in some capacity, likely highly dependent on him in some way, sometimes this will become their main motivation (examples of this include emilia (YEAH. EMILIA.), rem, petra, ram, frederica, liliana, yorna.............). like yeah i know guys in rezero arent exempt from (co)dependency or some form of obsession, but kind of telling that theyre still extremely fleshed out characters outside of it, right? (key examples include subaru, otto, and roswaal.)

^^ adding onto this. age gap romances. tappei did that thing where he shoehorned emilia being "mentally 14" or whatever, and also even if roswaal wasnt centuries old he still practically raised ram since she was a child (she literally helps dress him in the anime?? like shes seen taking his underwear to him???). clind also is an adult who knew frederica as a child and clind is. something else. also in a recent arc 8 madeline moment where she and balleroy have a romance-coded scene together and its like? even if shes not a child, SHE LOOKS LIKE ONE. BALLEROY IS A GROWN ASS MAN.

creepy men who are into kids but tappei justifies it in universe because theyre not actually into kids, but everything about their behavior would be creepy and wrong either way (clind and kiritaka come to mind)

female characters who are more submissive and soft hearted so clearly this means they need to be protected all the time and they cant make decisions on their own. lets talk over them a whole bunch and control them. and yeah this is a purposeful writing choice that leads to character development and narratively calling out this behavior (we see this with arc 3 emisuba conflict) but then tappei keeps doing it after the fact anyway without batting an eye. this is so so painfully clear with emilia especially. her whole character is about trying to break out of that mold but then tappei (and subaru, due to the nature of rbd + his own goals, and also puck, who hasnt been completely called out for being a shit dad yet) keeps shoving her back into it

^^ infantilizing female characters in general........ like realistically speaking emilias lack of sex education is extremely dangerous. its not funny. lack of sex ed in real life often leads to serious consequences. she nearly gets sold into slavery in frozen bonds, and iirc there are implications of what kind of slavery it is. and also her being mentally 14 makes no sense, is highly insulting, and its completely unnecessary. if tappei wants to hold off on emisuba romantic development, he already has the explanation of theyre too busy for that right now and also not mentally ready for it yet, but theyre still extremely close with each other.

^^ adding onto this there are several female characters in rezero that are airheaded. subarus mom, naoko. emilia. medium. shaula is another big example of this also. shes sexually harassed (at. at best iirc.) Multiple Times and it feels a little too brushed aside. on top of her repeatedly being sexualized with her design and her behavior, apparently, on top of being airheaded. there is a consistent pattern of infantilizing and sexualizing some of these characters and its Frustrating. having multiple characters with similar personalities isnt bad at all of course, but im putting this on the list because as anon said, tappei is problematic with this when it comes to female characters. yeah, subarus mom is well written. but emilia? shaula? its so painfully clear to see. he cant write a naive character without being a little gross about it.

sexualizing children in general. schult apparently helps priscilla get dressed iirc and also is. iirc. into priscilla's feet????? ....... and then you have typhon, whos skirt is so disturbingly see through that the anime fixed her design, and louis, who makes a few sexual comments in arc 6. also excerpts talking about petras chest. excerpts talking about anastasias body in a manner that feels both infantilizing and sexualized once again... weird comments in arc 8 regarding child subaru iirc, etc...

female characters who get overshadowed by others even when theyre supposed to be the focus. anastasia gets replaced by echidna for almost if not all of the entirety of arc 6. vollachia saga has been so hectic that priscilla hasnt really gotten much if at all major development. emilia for the entirety of rezero. crusch for the entirety of rezero AND her own centric ex novel. crusch will be in pain and severely injured and the narrative will focus more on how this affects anyone but her. and again, i know its a possibility that these characters may develop in the future. but stuff like ana getting replaced by her scarf for all of arc 6 + emilias entire existence as a character is sad imo T^T let them shine!! please!! i also know these characters also have side stories, especially anastasia and priscilla have great ones, and a lot of ss are required reading now but there needs to be more of them in main story content. im very glad that anastasias appeared again for arc 8.

rem and louis/spica getting "reset" in their development while other female characters are stagnant. they didnt actually grow and change, tappei just cheated by gluttonying rem and resetting louis's mind to a toddler. they went from Point A to Point B in an instant, there wasnt any actual development there. this might change in the future, but imo reading about rem and louis in arc 7-8 can genuinely be a bit of a slog because they didnt actual develop. we were cheated out of that. and of course tappei has to juggle multiple characters and characters will take turns having development, naturally, which such a big cast, but characters like emilia fall by a wayside far too often. she hasnt had major development since arc 4 even though she is. again. the deuteragonist. that was four arcs ago. certain female characters, i feel, have to deal with the cons of this character arc system more often.

male characters whos behavior isnt called out enough sometimes. roswaal’s relationship with ram. kiritaka. clind. puck still needs to be called out more in canon i think wjdnd. also al making comments about priscillas breasts or iirc creepy comments about schult being a shota and other things of that vein. honestly priscilla doesnt behead that guy Enough.

male counterparts with the same exact themes as their female characters will always have higher quality writing.

(of course theres exceptions to all of these—female characters like echidna are fascinating and well-written, theres several other female characters that are great too, etc, but theyre exceptions. theyre not the norm.)

ill also elaborate on that last point more here regarding male counterparts.

emilia and rem are big examples of this. we have very handy male counterparts for certain important aspects of emilia and rem's characters that are far better written because theyre guys and tappei cant write women at a consistent quality. of course emilia and rem both parallel subaru, but im gonna get more into what i think is their stronger Foils in certain aspects—

reinhard and otto.

im a fan of reinhard, otto, emilia, and rem. but the thing is, reinhard and otto have some very similar traits to emilia and rem respectively.

reinhard is guilt ridden, blamed for things out of his control, has some learned helplessness, deals with being controlled by others and trying not to crumble under the weight of the world’s expectations, has Intense Family Trauma also triggered by pandora (remember what happens to petelgeuse? remember the fortuna=sirius theory? remember elior forest?), and a deep seated trauma regarding Hurting Others. and also a generally soft demeanor and deep seated loneliness. its no coincidence that reinhard and emilia in pride if also parallel each other—emilia the half devil turned “hero”, and reinhard, the hero who falls from grace.

otto has less similarities with rem than reinhard does with emilia but to keep this short. otto and rems major motivations are being devoted to subaru. but the thing with reinhard and otto is that they dont have the pitfalls that emilia and rems characters do—the infantilizing and other problematic details, poorly written/choppy development, etc. with reinhard and otto it feels more consistent, like their time on screen is well-used and respectful to who they are as characters and it satisfies us enough to take a break from them until tappei brings them back into the spotlight again.

i cant say the same for emilia and rem.

tappei cant even write emilias naivete and stunted emotional growth (which is due to trauma and pucks poor parenting) without infantilizing her, while tappei effortlessly writes reinhard being emotionally stunted due to trauma, poor parenting, and his DPs. you dont see reinhard with cringeworthy dialogue T^T

its just kind of insulting how there is so much you could explore with characters like emilia lacking agency because others keep taking it away. her airheadedness, her naivete—shes been shaped by her environment and trauma too, those character traits stem from these things as well. how do you lead a camp and become king and grow as a person when youre in the shadow of a witch who nearly destroyed the world? when thats what people often see you as? how do you move forward when your family and people have been ruined by things you couldnt control? when your father figure has failed you in all sorts of ways? when even your closest friends talk over you and try to dictate you? when you and your loved ones keep getting in danger because of all these horrible people that keep pinning the blame on you? thats awful. i cant even blame emilia for being a little empty in the head after all that. i cant even blame her in general.

and then theres the horror of subarus rbd because emilia is his main motivation. like thatd be a nightmare come true for anyone—while subaru is good intentioned, he is yet another person stealing emilias agency. yeah, most of it in his case is understandable because emilia keeps being targeted from factors outside of her control, but its still awful. emilia quite literally has had very little will of her own for all of rezero but i have my doubts on whether tappei will actually explore it or not because he cant even write emilia dialogue right sometimes!!

its baffling to me. arc 3-4 were all about how emilia is her own person and she needs to leave the nest and grow but then tappei backpedals on it by the time we get to arc 8. again, it feels a bit insulting T^T which is why all the “dorky” emilia dialogue stings even more. its salt in the wound. i am getting a little annoyed after four arcs of seeing that pop up time and time again in between all the other well-written stuff, yeah. including other emilia moments because i did enjoy her more active moments in arcs 5+!!

tappei just needs to stop treating emilia like she cant do anything by herself T^T the core problem with his treatment of her is that he usually goes shes naive so basically shes a kind of useless child and so she cant understand anything or have any choices of her own without being scrutinized, peer reviewed, and micromanaged by all the men around her 👍

theres also this excerpt that i think a lot thats from the tsuchigumo side story (aka the three idiots set out!: earth spider episode side story) where one of rezero's female characters, a girl named marone lisbon, says -

marone also appears for like two seconds in side stories that not everyones gonna read, so she didnt have enough time to get "ruined". so to speak.

but yeah. this dialogue reminds me of what couldve been. it has all these themes and all these feelings that apply to SO MANY female characters in rezero, especially emilia. it proves even further that tappei is more than capable of writing good female characters. and we already know that tappei is more than capable of writing well-written characters.

but ultimately i just dont trust his writing sometimes because he can never consistently keep the quality up with writing characters because either theres too much going on so things fall by the wayside sometimes, or theres sexism, or tappeis inability to be normal about kids sneaks in again!!!

however i love rezero a lot. its an important piece of media to me, and i dont intend to leave this fandom for a While atm. but i think its important to recognize when media gets things Wrong, and rezero has a good chunk of flaws. and rezeros english fandom being the way it is does make me hesitate to bring up rezeros flaws in the sense of. yeah its rooted in sexism. and weirdness about kids.

but ultimately im very very cautiously hopeful to see what happens to emilia from here. hopefully she does have more development soon? but all in all—yeah anon on this one is speaking facts and i agree a lot.

also sorry if i got a bit intense with this response akdndnd i just feel very passionately about this. tappei stop being weird about women and kids challenge please T^T anyway im gonna finish off this ask with a meme i made.

yeah so thats why emilias writing is very iffy and also why a bunch of other female character writing in rezero is a bit iffy also 👍

#rezero #emilia #ask #this isnt even getting into how tappeis treatment of these characters + english anime fandoms = the worst mix youve ever seen in your life #a fandom usually reflects its media and the ideas its media has often. is the thing.#or at least thats my running theory on the state of things wkdndn bc rezero will have such thought provoking themes but then the sexualized #anime merch kind of spits on it. and also tappei too spits on it.#but yeah sorry this response is so long anon wkfnd but i hope this makes sense!!#you brought up such good points akdnd and i really have been thinking of it for a while now. im tired of tappei doing this stuff 😔#arc 5+ spoilers

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dimiclaudeblaigan · 7 months

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ah yes, she's concerned about the aggressor and attacker who was invading them six months ago. something is wrong with the empire right now, poor edelgard; whatever could've happened to her? :(

like... what. why do you care about what's going on with her specifically when she's the person who made the decision to invade leicester? does the whole war just mean nothing to marianne? it's just totally fine that all those people died in a war edelgard started? poor edelgard, something happened to her after she started her attack? you're concerned about the leader who gave the order to attack your home?

hopes has stupid lines but this one is top tier of the top tier and just an excuse for more edelgardjerking from the writers.

#DCB Three Hopes Run #like no sorry if someone attacked the country i live in and then suddenly their army was a mess #i would /nooot/ be concerned about the leader who ordered an invasion of my home #you'd never see a character being like wow i sure am worried abt dimitri and claude #who are just defending themselves and fighting for their lives out there #but here we get marianne being worried abt the person who declared war on her people #this game tries so so SO hard to make edelgard seem justified and doing a good thing #and also has tons of characters being like wow i sure do just want the best for her #like no i would not want the best for someone who invaded my country unprovoked #being worried abt the civilians in the empire is one thing bc the imperial army was out of control #but just wanting edelgard specifically to be okay? uhhhh. seems like this was just #the only way the writers could keep it in their pants without having shez make a sex joke at edelgard like byleth can #like does marianne not realize the end goal here was to defeat and thus kill edelgard?#it doesn't happen bc of the plot bc thales' magic and yadda yadda #but ultimately without that happening she would've had to be killed to be truly defeated #she's not like claude who would prioritize survival. she would fight to the end #like if you're that concerned about the person who started this war then why are you fighting against her?#either join her side or stay out of the war. really don't understand why anyone from leicester in ag would be worried abt her #they can't even use the classmates excuse bc they weren't even classmates for that long (and it's a stupid excuse even in gw)#but like no rly this game just has ppl love up on edelgard for absolutely no reason #she comes in and starts killing their soldiers for her conquest and marianne six months later is like wow i sure am concerned abt her!!#literally like imagine someone from crimea being like ''im concerned abt ashnard''

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crownrots · 6 days

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#oc txt.#c: hattie #c: mary ellen #hattie being able to make it back to her own vault just in time to be with her mom in her final moments is 🤕#she’s not the overconfident self assured put together person she was when she left however long ago it was #and her mother isn’t the hyper independent stoic emotionally constipated woman that didn’t even hug her before she left #her mother really did believe that this colony that had supposedly been growing since she was a girl WAS her kids’ only hope at a future #they knew for years that the vault was running out of supplies and falling apart #she was getting older and really didn’t think a future above ground was for her or her husband or the other adults that had grown up there #it was for their kids.#bc the vault wasn’t going to be able to sustain them for much longer #it’s why she pushed her kids so hard and pushed them away even harder #bc it made sending them into that world ‘easier’#she wouldn’t miss them as much and they wouldn’t miss her #sending her twins up there (her first borns) years prior was HELL #and she dreaded the day hattie was old enough to be thrust out there and even debated whether or not she’d even go through with it #so seeing her now … especially in the state hattie is in when she returns #she feels guilty but at the same time proud? because despite it she knows hattie had and HAS what it takes to survive up there #and seeing tj??? she doesn’t know if the twins made it to the colony or whether the colony was even real operating ect ect #so she’d never get to see them with her grandkids if they had any #she at least gets a slice of what could have been if things were different #it’s good that hattie gets to tell her truth of everything #it’s good that hattie gets to reconcile and be the last thing she sees before she passes #it’s all mary ellen ever wanted … to see her girls again #and in her mind if hattie made it … then she knows the other two did too #and i think for hattie she was just on the cusp of giving up and throwing in the towel #but she’s got people relying on her and she’s not a quitter … was never allowed to be #and i think by now she’d be searching for them less for herself and more for her parents #the least she can do is find out if their sacrifices (and the sacrifices of everyone else) were warranted

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moregraceful · 4 months

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accidentally invented a new form of no bedtime called 11pm glass of emergency-c + 4pm latte + 8pm cup of black tea + 9pm cup of black tea

#the real question is can i go to church on less than 5 hours of sleep and still function lol #i unlocked my instagram bc church wouldn't stop tagging me to direct people to me for stuff but that meant i had to delete a bunch of pho #tos AND rewrite a bunch of captions for photos i didn't WANT to delete bc i was too mean to random sharks prospects #which is fine if it is u know the anonymity of tumblr but not public instagram where my church won't stop FULL NAMING AND TAGGING ME #''anonymity of tumblr'' i doxx myself on here like 80 times a day in front of more people than i went to college with #anyway my point is i was going through deleting all evidence of politics pens fandom and legal documents and i was like damn #my attitude towards my team SUCKS. i gotta be way less of a hater!!!#what did my prospects ever do wrong besides everything NOTHING. the system is BROKEN. i am sorry i will be so much nicer guys :(#also if u really want to be humbled. scrolling back to 2012 on your instagram and re-experiencing senior year of college. BAD #i've deleted i think everything that would reasonably get our nonprofit status pulled but what a horrific journey it was #two full hockey intermission periods of deleting shit plus another hour at home doing several more passes and then rewriting captions #so that some poor 21 year old prospect randomly searching their name doesn't see me full ass call their teammate cringe #their teammate IS cringe. but i love him. but the nuances are lost on instagram people don't understand these things they take everything #at face value #don't know why i just assigned shakir mukhamadullin they/them pronouns #i think i need to go lie in bed with a blanket over my head until i suffocate #this ALWAYS happens i get too hype about mackenzie blackwood and start listening to selena gomez and then it's like almost 3am and i'm just #fresno oilers.txt #oh and. a friend sent me screenshots of the girl she's been flirting with on a dating app and they are SOOOOO cute #i hope they make a good run of it i really do bc it was SO cute. living vicariously through episcopalian lesbians as one does #but then i was trying to figure out how to edit my dating app profile to dissuade chasers but still honeytrap guys who are tall enough #or athletic enough to pick the tangerines at the top of the tangerine tree. bc i couldn't reach this week #but there were still like god maybe 150 tangerines on the tree. i was like this could be feeding people but i'm TOO SHORT #and my life will be like this. FOREVER #icb the future of this garden is so psychologically burdensome that i'm having to build it into a dating app profile lol #well now that i'd treated this entire tag set as twitter for and hour and a half #time to go try to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and then wake up in [checks notes] four hours

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opens-up-4-nobody · 6 months

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...

#its crazy how much easier it is to do things when youre not completely miserable lol #this past week has been weird bc ive felt really really good and like normal in a way thats kinds unfathomable #im hoping its the medication but my mood was already on an upward tilt and i was told it would take like 6 weeks for the meds to work #property but like ive been sleeping way more than usual. and by that i literally just mean 8hrs a night lol which is weird for me #like that never ever ever happens multiple days in a row. so idk. when i feel better it makes the 0cd way easier to manage as well #and im just generally not as anxious. on the more worrisome side i kinda just give less of a fuck so like i have an exam im not ready for #Tuesday and im just kinda like hm fuck that lol. ill go thru lil fluctuations of having a lot of energy too #like: i could run around in circles rn. i dont have to but i could. like yesterday i was out with friends and i was like bouncing up and #down while standing and rocking from side to side while sitting. which i kinda do anyway while in crowds but it was more to expend energy #last night i also got like 5hrs of sleep. so like maaaaybe ive been on the bleeding edge of mood elevation but for the most part it just #feels good and not destructive. like if i felt like this all the time that would b fantastic. its like oh so this is y ppl dont long to b #put out of their misery lol. depression? who? i dont kno her. sounds fake. but as soon as i fucking say that ill b fucking slapped back #down to earth. ugh. annoying. no emotional object permanence. i hope its the meds. if this is the person i am under layers of misery then #that is fucking so insane. we shall see. im curious to hear what the psychiatrist thinks of my brain when i follow up with her #i gave her my full dys1exia assessment which gives a pretty good picture of how my head functions. oh fuck i bet i would do waaaayyy better #on thise test if i took it in this state of mind. but anyway she has that on top of like 3 assessment sheets i filled out #dispite everything i still want someone to categorize me into a discreet box. tell me doc. am i really bip0lar? really really?#ur sure??? like 1000% sure bc my brain wont let me accept that unless its beyond a reasonable doubt. i just doesn't seem that serious.#i mean. it is but like ya kno. its not that bad. ay. this glob of mush behind my eyes runs me in circles #but for now thats ok bc i feel like i could run up a mountain or punch someone in the face lol #unrelated

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justinefrischmanngf · 5 months

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it’s not that it makes me sad per se but i really could’ve been dating someone i did actually kind of really want to date since JULY. and now the moment is literally so far gone and i didn’t realise until the moment was so far gone !!!

#like it actually doesnt make me sad because there wouldve been major complications Had we dated #and the person who i trust most in this world has told me theyre glad it didnt happen #and i think in the long run he’s not the First person i should date anyway like in an ideal world we’d date like. 2-3 years on from now when #i’d been in at least one relationship to work out how i operate in a relationship #but it’s also like i wish i had known that the opportunity was there and i wish i had taken it #and part of me goes well maybe in 2-3 years it COULD happen #but i think that does a disservice to the person he’s dating now like . i do hope they’re happy and it goes well for the both of them #AND ALSO ITS WEIRD AS FUCK TO BE LIKE OH WELL MAYBE IN A FEW YEARS ILL DATE THIS PERSON *AFTER* another person??????#like bitch who do you think u are that you’ll have managed to date ANYONE in that time and also why the fuck would u date someone without #hoping it would last????????#but thoughts ≠ action nor are they inherently moralistic #but also that’s a weird way 2 think about relationships #it’d be funny if it happened though #idk i just think that if the timing was different he and i could have so much fun dating like genuinely i think it’d be a really good time #but it’s really weird because i’m not pining away after him or anything like ik it sounds like i am #but it’s not like that it’s more just that it’s opened up all these thoughts that i hadn’t really thought possible before ?#and they’re not possible NOW bc he’s dating someone else so i’m in exactly the same position but idk #i think i’m getting too settled. i’m TOO SETTLED.#because it’s literally not normal to think oh maybe in three years we could date and it’d be better timing for both of us ???????????#unhinged behaviour. what the fuck is that.#it’d be fucking hilarious if it happened tho

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swinging-stars-from-satellites · 2 years

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THEY BOTH BELIEVE NO ONE WILL COME FOR THEM

#HOLY HECK I JUST HAD AN EPIPHANY #actually heck now i want to read the arc that one panel that makes me feral is from #bc two kids who believe no one is going to come for them #one because he just doesn't think he's anyone's priority and the other because the last time he called for help it came too late #but they have EACH OTHER??????? INSANE CRAZY #i like how i take one step into comics fandom and immediately go ah yeah I'm gonna read a random run no context #just bc I was shown one(1) panel that happens to be good #anyway so the POINT HERE: tim just flat out doesn't expect people to care enough to come for him. he's so used to handling stuff himself #and not really having anyone else care. that he just. doesn't expect it. he's sorta resigned to it.#whereas jason held so tightly to the hope that bruce would come for him- that HIS DAD would come for him- in his final moments #that because bruce was too late when he comes back as red hood he just doesn't think b or anyone else will come for him again #especially after the ways he's changed. and that HURTS. it isn't acceptance like tim has it's a scabbed over wound #idk how to explain this but it makes sense in my head. neither of them thinks anyone is coming for them if they need it #bc jason has hoped and been let down and he can't do that again. and tim never had the hope in the first place.#I'm just AUGJJJMKDCNMN THESE TWO #Lu rambles #meta finding tag #batfam #tim drake #jason todd #...the meta is in the tags but hey whatever

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bunnyb34r · 5 months

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I know I should just block (and not OPEN) tags and posts ab '24 but my brain is stupid and likes to be informed even if it makes me worse

#marquilla #im not even joking when i say this next election makes me wanna kms so bad. im fucking terrified and i feel like we already know what's #gonna happen. not bc people arent voting or organizing i mean bc of how far the right has gotten and how angry they are that a #dem won so theyre gonna show up in droves and it's like god i wish we could idk have some safegaurds in place??? like oh idk you #incite an insurrection you Can't run for president?? but also that wouldnt fully stop shit bc florida has its own neo nazi running and #theres more behind him in the wings. but like idk man i just get so fucking suicidal thinking ab the future #and my drs. are like well then dont look at the news??? 'i sure dont' mkay thats great (not) but um i CAN'T not watch bc i need to #be informed i need to know. and they're like well then stop worrying ab it til election day?? LIKE THAT HELPS #so i just dont bring it up. and i just spiral and have breakdowns in the shower and think ab making a will and shit yknow normal stuff #bc this is fine! just dont engage! stop worrying it's like a year away! it MIGHT get better! idk Join in your community then??#like yes yes thats a start but with what fucking energy when im bedbound most of the time im not working and that doesnt stop these fascist #s like me helping the community garden would be good for the community and probably my mental health in general BUT that doesnt deal with #the actual fear that makes me wanna Kermit #like it really fucking feels like all i can do is pray and hope god somehow intervenes (rapture anyone?) and that things do go well and #that the outright outspoken nzis don't win but like I really just wanna die man #i know the outcome more than likely will not directly affect my life bc im white. cis passing. and can go back in the closet regretfully #but like that doesnt reassure me any bc i have friends and loved ones and generally just give a shit ab other people and how this WILL #affect them directly and that terrifies me. it really feels like we cant ever have a moment to just exist yknow??#idk man i just wanna die bc im so scared haha how fun (: how normal (: this is fine. everything is fine.

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hyperfixation-tangentopia · 10 months

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So, I just??? Randomly just the motivation for this??? So enjoy more Tealstar stuff ig lol. Tried to do a lot here, not sure how well it worked for me. You can tell I got a little rundown at Tongbi's part, but I was still really determined to finish this, so. Here ya go.

Chikao loved the storm.

The smell of fresh rain and the swirl of dark clouds overhead lit up by flashes of lightning that split the sky in two and sent deep, booming thunder rippling over the land was something she could never get tired of. Every lightning strike lit up her eyes, she could feel the vibration of thunder running deep within her bones, and the entire world was pulled just a little to the side by the chilling winds that whipped past.

She was fond of the world after a storm, too. The way the smell of rain lingered for a week afterwards, clouds drifted past so you could see sheets of rain coming down in the distance as they left, the sudden abundance of greens and the pinks and blues and yellows of plants as they sprouted up, the splashing of puddles gathered in random dips in the ground and squishing of deep brown mud as water sunk into the soil. She loved that. Loved everything about it.

And the best part was that she could do it. On a whim, whenever she wanted, she could summon the clouds and lightning and feel the very storm surging through her bones. She could feel the world come alive in a way so, so different than it did in the shine of the sun.

But, unfortunately, not everyone was so welcoming.

And why weren’t they? What was even the point of limiting her ability to create storms? Why did she have to “register” a storm or whatever to create one? It wasn’t like she was creating out-of-control tornados or setting forests on fire with lightning. Most of the time, it was just a little rain to give the village crops a boost!

But the Celestial Realm hadn’t seen it that way. The first time Nezha had come down to meet her, he had called it “undermining the Jade Emperor’s authority” and “breaking the laws of the Celestial Realm” and “a matter to be taken seriously”. But honestly? How could she take someone that had come down to lecture her about why she couldn’t summon rain without paperwork seriously.

And that was all it had been, for a while. Something funny, eventually just a friend coming down to spar. Barely an annoyance. Not even a concern.

And then Princess Iron Fan had joined him. And they’d struggled over the winds of the storm, trying to turn them on each other to gain an advantage. And then…

Flash

And then people had gotten hurt.

And the Celestial Realm was angry.

Stealing the Peaches of Immortality from their orchard? That was probably just the cherry on top.

But even when they’d come to arrest Chikao for her “crimes” (come on, they were peaches), they’d made a mistake to dare go after Tongbi.

Chikao sighed quietly as she stared up at the endless night sky, the stars twinkling back at her like tiny diamonds against a sheet of inky paint. It felt so close when the storm was swirling around it, the wind catching every little loose thing on the ground and throwing around every small hair out of place, but when the night was clear like this and she was laying on the ground beside Tongbi…it felt so, so far away. She itched for it to be close again, to touch the clouds and feel their water in her hands.

She wondered if, in a world where Nezha had time, where Nezha could step away from his celestial duties and just relax for a moment, they could fly around through the clouds and throw water at each other.

She didn’t live in that world. She didn’t know.

“Chikao?” Tongbi’s soft voice pulled Chikao out of her thoughts.

“Yeah?” Chikao rolled onto her side to look at Tongbi, flattening the grass beneath her.

Tongbi’s eyes stayed on the sky as he spoke and his hands picked through the fur on his tail. His voice was muffled by his dark green scarf as he buried his face into the fabric. “You won’t let them t-t-take you from me, will you?”

A small spark of anger flashed in her chest. She’d said they’d be together forever, and she’d meant it. No Celestial Realm would change that. “Of course not. And I won’t let anyone hurt you, either.”

Tongbi didn’t respond and Chikao rolled back onto her back with a soft sigh. She didn’t want Tongbi to worry. He shouldn’t have had to worry. She dealt with Nezha and Iron Fan on her own fine, didn’t she? And then even when more celestials had shown up, she’d dealt with it. But Tongbi was still worried, and Chikao knew well by then that the only thing that was going to soothe his concern was time.

Time, or get rid of the Celestial Realm’s meddling completely, but she knew that wasn’t going to happen.

At least, that’s what she thought, as the days went by and Tongbi slowly felt safe being outside of his library again. As toddlers and children became teens and adults. As people aged and grayed and passed.

Until the Brotherhood reached out with a dream. A dream of glory and ambition. A dream of change and prosperity. A dream of safety and comfort. A dream of freedom. A dream of storms.

A dream of a day storms could freely brew in the days, and the skies would be theirs at night.

A dream where the Celestial Realm wouldn’t meddle, Nezha could freely come and go, and Tongbi’s concerns would vanish.

And Chikao took it.

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Tongbi hated surprises.

The unexpected whirlwind of emotions he wasn’t ready for, having to think on his feet and his mind going blank, only moments to make a decision and if it was the wrong one he was doomed. The mounting pressure of what felt like a mountain behind his head and the crushing weight of do or die that he just couldn’t pull himself out of.

And the aftermath was worse. Because then there were a hundred different feelings all weighing him down like boulders, telling him there was some way to alleviate their weight but not giving him a single how-to. Sometimes the boulders were hot and sometimes electric and sometimes just heavy, and those meant different things, but he didn’t know what they meant. But apparently, knowing what they meant and how to sort them out was the very key to getting them under control sometimes, because otherwise every time he thought about the surprise he would trigger another rockslide.

Physically, Tongbi didn’t mind rocks, boulders, or even mountains. Feet on the ground, dig his heels in, take a deep breath and move. He could move boulders, sort out rockslides, split entire mountainsides in two that way. The boulders he could touch the rough or smooth surfaces of were lighter than the ones that crushed his heart and held him down in the corner with tears spilling onto blurry pages, but never had a texture.

Fortunately, people were welcoming.

It had been a strange change after the curious chirps of the monkeys that found him hiding away in caves on Flower Fruit Mountain, but a warm one. Chikao helped lift the boulders off his chest, explain some of the feelings and help him separate them apart so he could think without folding into a mess of matted fur and heavy emotions.

The warm nights of staring up at the stars and pointing out constellations as Chikao worked through his fur were the best nights he’d ever known. Spending days reading books about the sun aloud and telling Chikao about asteroids that flew by brought him a warmth he could never quite explain. Even the flower pin he had, with teal and red petals, served as a small comfort when he was alone, to remind him that someone cared.

Though he had been nervous at first, the village was nice too. Adults were happy to trust him to read about the phenomenon of eclipses to children and watch meteor showers with them, and the kids were always fascinated by his words and eager to ask questions and learn more. Even on days where he didn’t have books, several of them were ready to ask questions and listen to him ramble.

And even as they grew and had more chores and work to tend to, nobody minded when he sat on a bench and read the afternoon away.

Tongbi hummed a tune as his eyes scanned across neat words, written with meticulous precision. Dust kicked up into the air as the click clack of horseshoes went by, but Tongbi was fully absorbed, the rest of the world blurred as he imagined how it would feel to step on the moon. Would he feel lighter? Would it feel like stone on earth, or dust, or powder, or something else entirely? Would the stars look different? What kind of new star charts could he make from there?

“I’m bored!” The high-pitched whine of a kid caught his ear. He almost called out to invite them to read, but…no, they probably didn’t want to hear him. All of the kids he used to read to were teenagers or adults now, and had too much responsibility to bother listening to him anymore, and the new ones probably didn’t have any interest in him.

“Hey, this guy’ll read to you about some pretty cool stuff, if you wanna.” Tongbi glanced up from his book to see a teenager with long black hair running down past her shoulders and freckles mixing with the dust and dirt on her face. He felt a small flower of warmth bloom in his chest. He knew this kid. Did she still remember him?

“Ooo, like what?” One of the children asked as their arms swung back and forth.

“Well, you know the little white things that are up in the sky every night?” She smiled.

“Uh-huuuuh.” The kid nodded.

“Well, he taught me that those are called stars, and they’re actually very, very distant suns.” She said as she walked over to the bench Tongbi was sitting on.

“Woah!” Three kids followed her, their eyes shining brighter than the sun.

“But suns don’t look like that.” Another kid frowned.

“That’s the fun part.” She sat down in front of Tongbi and skimmed the title of his current book. “He’ll explain the whole thing.”

The kids promptly sat down in front of him, staring up with eager curiosity that filled Tongbi with warmth. He started explaining, slowly at first, then faster when they only seemed more intrigued. More children, kids playing in the village and teenagers he used to read to just finished with chores, came around him and sat down, enjoying his reading and explanations.

He hoped this never changed. And, luckily for him, it didn’t seem that was going to happen.

At least, that’s what he thought, as Tongbi’s reading slowly expanded to the entire village. As toddlers and children became teens and adults. As people aged and grayed and passed.

Until the Brotherhood reached out with a risk. A risk of danger and hostility. A risk of battle and bloodshed. A risk of pain and uncertainty. A risk of imprisonment. A risk of change.

A risk of ferocious and bloody battles by day, and wounded and torn foundations by night.

A risk of the Celestial Realm coming down with all their fury, Nezha would be injured, and Chikao being imprisoned.

And Tongbi denied it.

Tongbi denied the dream. Chikao took the risk.

#tealstars #I'm actually #not that upset about this??#I really like the first few paragraphs of Chikao's stuff #and I got a bit run down on Tongbi's part but it's still like #good? maybe a little less?#it's on the likeable spectrum I guess lol #I tried to do a lot here so I hope it worked #if nothing else I think this helps get their personalities down a little bit more #also I'm dramatic as hell when I write I'm aware there's a reason I relate to Macaque so hard XD #I kinda tried to parallel their bits a bit?? I hope that worked #I think I managed to some extent highlight the difference between them I really wanted to highlight #and still squeeze in some other stuff that's harder to get through in just drawings and rambles #anyway actually pretty happy with this one so :333 #please tell me if you notice anything mainly bc I will be super happy if I got stuff across properly :3 #I need to just make a post collecting all the tealstar stuff together at this point XD #y'know what maybe I'll do that #imma go do that now maybe perhaps #anyway enjoy!! I'll stop rambling now lol

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