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#pls laugh at my dumb jokes
madlysage · 3 months
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jesus breaks the omegaverse
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your-neighbor-bear · 6 months
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I Get A Little Bit
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doki-doki-imagines · 4 months
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Happy new Year! I wanted to request an Reader with healing powers by touching,healing the boys of Mortal Kombat pls?
author note: Thanks! Happy new Year to you too!! As someone studying to become a doctor this request is a little to perfect LOL. feat. Earthrealm guys for my own sanity this time, but if you want you can also ask for Outworld ones.
Johnny Cage: -He doesn't believe in your powers AT ALL. -I'm not saying Johnny can't wait to hurt himself, because pain sucks, but he may get a bit careless… -He's gonna cut his finger with paper, the most stupid wound that sting like a bitch. -He visits you, you don't laugh at him, just touch his index with yours and…voilà! No wounds anymore. -He is stunned, mouth open. You absolutely need to come to Hollywood and let people pay, you know how rich you can get?? -Johnny will be attached to your hips, wounds or not. If he can't get you out your clinic he wants at least a date with the cute doctor.
Kenshi Takahashi: -He visited you after the Mileena accident. -Sadly you can't regrow new eyes, being able to heal just from tissue that is alive. -That doesn't mean you can't help him soothing his pain! Or decrease the itch he feels from the skin that grew there. -Kenshi visits you frequently, not just for medical reasons but also to share a cup of tea together, your chats a relaxing moment during frenzy times.
Raiden: -He doesn't visit you often, but when Raiden does he has a kind voice, even with broken bones and teared skin. -Luckily most of the time Raiden wounds aren't that serious, but he tends to prolong his stay in your clinic. -At times he felt asleep on the bed, heavy breath and some times snores. -He is so cute you never wake him up, but pulling a cover on his body to keep him warm and comfortable.
Kung Lao: -He has never been proud of the wounds and scar that he has, but at least now Lao can see the positive side of the bruises; visiting you. -You don't say he is dumb, and treats him with utmost care, your soft fingers on his skin make his heartrate speed up terribly. -Lao hopes you don't notice, hiding his real emotions under puns and flirty jokes. -You can totally feel Lao's heart, but find him cute, trying to sputter out puns to make you laugh, so you let him act.
Liu Kang: -He asked you to help at Wu Shi Academy because he knew about your powers. -Liu Kang made sure you had a tiny house of your own, separated from training grounds, but near enough to run to you in case of emergency. -He doesn't suffer of any injury, but he often visits you to ask if you are fine, just chit chatting about your days. -Every time Liu Kang visits you he brings a present, each time it gets more expensive. Maybe one day you'll pick up the signals, or maybe you could heal his broken courage; it has been awhile since Liu Kang asked someone out.
Geras: -He also doesn't need any kind of healing, but when someone is wounded he runs to you. -Most of the time you talk about work, you tried to pry informations about the you of other timelines but Geras never budges. -So you started to gossip with him, useless stuff, but you know he'll never tell the secrets out. -He listens to you, already knowing everything, but Geras enjoys your company so he sits still, your voice almost lulling him.
Bi-Han: -Doesn't trust you, he has never heard of healing magic. -But there you are, on your knees, him laying on the ground, your fingers repairing every cut, every wounds on his body with a mere touch. -Bi-Han starts to visit you more often, he wants to know your secret, the Lin Kuei's doctors could only improve with your guide. -You laugh at his proposal, telling him this is a gift you have since you were born and that you prefer your magic to be of everyone usage, not only his ninjas. -He scowls and exits your house. But Bi-Han won't give up, he'll convince you one day, he is sure of it.
Kuai Liang: -He doesn't have the time to have doubts about your powers because the first time Liang heard of you is the time you are healing him. -Now it is too late to heal his face scar, but for sure you can help him with his other wounds. -Liang begs you to join Shirai Ryu, but you refuse "You are good people, but my power is for everybody, not just your clan." -He accepts it…and trasfer Shirai Ryu base near your house, enough that if his men needs help you'll be right there. -And maybe Liang would be able to visit you not only for work matters…
Tomas Vrbada: -He visits you mostly because everybody is talking about your powers. -Tomas brings food, while you prepare a hot beverage for you two. You chat about your days, 'till Tomas finally asks you the question that has been wandering in his head for too long. -"So, are your powers real?" -You smirk into the cup, but don't reply. You take a knife and do a small cut on the back of your hand, you are so fast that Tomas cannot stop you. -He cannot also because the moment a drop of blood spill the wound has already healed itself. -Tomas is astonished, wide eyes. -"You are so damn cool." -You hope he'll visit you more often, you enjoys his company. Let's hope Tomas will never come for working matters, tho.
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dreamofbecoming · 2 years
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never gonna stop queuing everything bc the consistency of my blog posting every half hour on the half hour soothes my brain, but it’s a vague sort of a bummer every time i reblog a fresh post with a joke that won’t get posted for a month, only for someone else to make the same joke a few hours later but post it immediately, so no one will know i made it first
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lovebugism · 4 months
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“we don’t like each other, but we’re at a mutual friend’s Christmas party and we keep getting caught under the mistletoe together”
eddie and r at steve’s christmas party!
ty for requestling lovie! pls enjoy xoxo — you and eddie, arch enemies since you met, share a kiss under the mistletoe thanks to your meddling friends (enemies to lovers, fluff, 2.2k)
blurbcember ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚
Steve’s hand is warm on the small of your back as he leads you the long way to the kitchen. His too big house is glowing with life — with warm-colored Christmas lights and the laughter of your closest friends. It all makes your skin sparkle. Or maybe that’s just the alcohol.
You’re draining your cup of its contents, head tipped back to catch every drop of Steve’s dad’s expensive liquor. You let the boy lead you blindly for a refill until you notice that you’re further from the kitchen now than you were sitting with him on the couch.
“Where are we going?” you wonder with a hearty chuckle.
“To get you another drink!” he insists, playing innocent.
“Then why are we circling your living room?” 
He guides you around the French doors of the entrance and past the wooden staircase — where Max and Lucas dangle mistletoe from a string on the upper story. They bicker back and forth about exactly where to place it and forget to be discreet about any of it.
You’re about to walk past it and towards the kitchen, but Steve stops short before you can. Eddie exits the hallway just in front of you, seemingly led by none other than Dustin Henderson in an obviously concocted plan. 
This marks the second Christmas of your friends trying to get you and the freak to kiss.
It’ll also be the second Christmas that they fail.
“I can see you, you know?” you shout to the arguing teenagers.
The banter quietens all at once. 
Lucas shoots an awkward smile down at you, dressed in an itchy sweater and collared shirt that his mom obviously dressed him in. Max is much less apologetic. Her auburn braids sway on either side of her face as she leans over the railing, clutching at the lit-up garland with a bandaged hand.
“Can you just kiss and get it over with?” she pleads with all her practiced teenage desperation. “Lucas almost chopped my hand off cutting the fishing wire, and I need to know it was worth something.”
“Yeah, in your dreams, Mayfield,” Eddie scoffs, walking past you without a single glance your way. You wouldn’t know, though, because you weren’t looking at him either. You bypass the mistletoe and head the opposite way toward the kitchen. “Not a chance,” you murmur under your breath.
“I said I was sorry!” you hear Lucas exclaim as you go.
Max squints her stony blue eyes at him. “Yeah, ‘cause sorry’s gonna fix my hand, right?”
You pour your own drink while Steve lectures the kids about being distracted. He’s back a couple minutes later, wearing a dumb Christmas sweater and an even dumber grin. “Watcha doing?” he lilts slowly as he walks to stand at your side.
You lick beer from the side of your thumb after spilling a drop or more. “Separating myself from the plotting,” you answer, vague and somewhat ominous.
He furrows his brows and scoffs out a laugh. “What are you talking about?”
“Everyone’s trying to get me and Munson to kiss. It’s disgusting.”
“It’s just a joke,” he assures with a shrug, even though you both know it’s more than that. 
He could’ve used that excuse the year before — when he and Dustin were practically tripping over themselves to get you and Eddie in the same room and under the same mistletoe. Now it’s a competition. Now it’s real. 
They’re trying to prove to themselves that they can get you and Eddie to kiss more than they’re trying to prove that they’d been right about the two of you all along.
“Is that why you hid a mistletoe by the records?” you squint and raise your cup for another sip. 
You and Eddie have a history of fighting over what music gets played at parties. You’re notorious for it, actually. Even tonight, you argued about whether to play Christmas music or the regular stuff. That was before you noticed the ribboned plant hiding in the cabinet of records, of course. Then you walked away entirely.
That’s why you’re listening to Dio now instead of Nat King Cole.
“Robin did that, actually,” Steve tells you as he crosses his arms over his chest. “And it would’ve been genius if she actually hid the damn thing. It’s like I’m the only one taking this seriously!”
“Both of you are idiots. And creeps.”
“Do you wanna go smoke, or do you wanna keep calling me names?”
“Hm…” you hum and pretend to ponder his question. You purse your lips to the side and flit your eyes to the ceiling. “How about we go smoke and I keep calling you names.
He thinks for a second. Then nods. “Deal.”
Steve’s deck is as ornately decorated as the rest of his house. It glows yellow from the wreaths on the windows and the garland on the railing. The golden color is the only warm thing about being outside. The bitter breeze bites through the material of your sweater, pricking at your skin no matter how tightly you fold your arms around yourself.
You and Steve huddle together like penguins for warmth. He pulls out a little tin box from the back pocket of his jeans — there’s one joint left inside it. He passes it off to you, then pats at his sides with a frown between his brows. 
“Shit…” he huffs.
“What?” you ask, teeth chattering.
“I forget the damn lighter.”
You scoff. “Genius.”
He rushes back inside. The glass door slides open, basking you in a momentary warmth, before sliding shut again. 
You’re not alone for very long, though. He’s back far quicker than you expect. You hear the schlick of the opened door and feel the woosh of golden heat. When you look over your shoulder with a half-hearted complaint on the tip of your tongue, you realize that Steve isn’t back.
It’s Eddie fucking Munson.
“Oh, you gotta be shitting me,” you mumble under your breath.
His brows pinch together, dark eyes twinkling with confusion when he looks at you. “What the hell are you doing out here?”
“Wait— Don’t shut the door!”
“What are you talking about?” he laughs and shuts it anyway.
“No, don’t—” 
It’s too late. You rush to the glass and hear a faint click on the other side. You wrap your fingers around the cool handle and pull. It doesn’t budge. 
“Those assholes locked us out here,” you grouse — partly for Eddie, but mostly for the assholes in question locked inside.
Steve peeks through the blinds. You can only see his eyes, honeyed and sparkling with mischief. “Who’s the idiot now?” he teases. The big dumb grin is audible in his voice. You blink, and he’s gone again.
“He lured us… With weed…” Eddie murmurs. You can’t tell if he’s talking to you or himself. He nods with a small shrug. “That’s kinda genius, actually.”
“Except we can’t smoke it. ‘Cause we don’t have a lighter.”
Eddie’s face screws up in offense, chin jerking back like he’s flinching. He pulls a pale hand from the pocket of his leather jacket. The metal Zippo glimmers beneath the Christmas lights. “It’s like you don’t know me at all, sweetheart,” the wild-haired boy teases.
“I don’t,” you concur and snatch the lighter from his ringed fingers. “And I’d love to keep it that way.”
“You’re a real ray of sunshine, you know that?” he jokes, squinting at you with eyes made of chocolate and smiling with lips rosier than flower petals.
“Thanks for noticing,” you mumble through the joint. You hold your hand over the flame while you light it, taking a deep puff before passing it off to the boy beside you.
“At least we have a break from those psychos, right?” he jokes as he takes it from you.
Your laugh comes out in a white cloud. “Yeah. I’m pretty sure we’re, like, the only normal people here.”
“Yeah…”
“Don’t let that go to your head, though. You’re still a freak.”
“And you’re still a bitch,” he lilts with a grin, then passes the joint back to you — a makeshift peace offering.
“Don’t be mean to me—” you squint and snatch the blunt from his hand. The tone you use is a foreign one, coated with a hurt he can’t tell is real or in his head. His eyes go wide, anyway. An apology bubbles in his throat, but you beat him to the punch. “—It turns me on.”
“Oh,” he murmurs under his breath, heart thudding hard against his ribcage. “…Oh.”
Your lips curl into a smirk around the edge of the joint. The ash burns orange when you take a deep inhale and turns dark again when you pass it back.
His ringed fingers brush yours, and Eddie gets shy in a way he never really has before. Not with you, anyway. Your touch has him buzzing, gets him all awkward like a giddy teenage boy who’s never been around a girl before. 
He forces a laugh through a sparkling chest. “Now I don’t know if I should stop or keep going.”
A giggle sputters from your lips before you can stop it. You hadn’t meant for it to come out, of course — you were actually trying really hard to swallow it down. But it’s spilling from your smiling mouth like rays of golden sunshine in a navy blue winter, anyway.
Eddie couldn’t hide his amusement if he tried. The blunt burns, unhit, between his fingers, because he’s too busy looking at you.
“I don’t think I’ve ever made you laugh before,” he says, chuckling to himself while pride swells behind his ribcage. “Hell, I don’t think I’ve even made you smile before.”
“Don’t get used to it— I’m just tipsy.”
You reach over to snatch the burning stick from his hand, and he suddenly understands what you meant before — the whole don’t be mean to be, it turns me on thing that he’ll probably be thinking about for the next week or so. 
‘Cause you’re always rough with him. Rough and a little bit bitter. It bordered on hate, unrooted and visceral. Erotic. Maybe he liked teasing you so much because he liked it when you told him off. Maybe that’s why he can’t seem to leave you alone even now.
“I like you like this, though,” Eddie confesses, voice as soft as his melted-chocolate gaze. His eyes get all squishy around the edges when he looks at you now. It makes you cower because you’re not used to that — to liking it. 
He shrugs and sticks his fidgeting hands into his jacket pockets, trying hopelessly to play it cool. “Maybe we should, like, go get drinks together or something? So, you know, you can be nice to me and— halfway tolerate me or whatever.”
You get quiet, and he isn’t totally sure what to make of it. 
His flitting eyes (going halfway blind from staring at Steve’s Christmas lights instead of you) find your gaze again. You’re wearing a smirk he’s never seen on you before, barely there but still obvious. No one’s ever looked at him the way you are now — like the world could fall apart, but you’d never know it because he’s somehow more distracting.
You catch his button-eyed gaze and hold it until it hurts.
“In your dreams, Munson,” you singsong sweetly to him, lips like wine. It’s his words from earlier (ones he’s starting to regret right about now), but you say them with a wider and more sincere smile.
It feels almost like a promise.
A whistle sounds in the distance, coming from above you.
You and Eddie share confused glances before taking a single step forward. Max and Lucas are leaning over the balcony a story above you — with that damn mistletoe hanging from fishing wire. That means Dustin and Steve aren’t too far, either. Which means Robin’s probably up there, too. 
“What the hell are you doing?” Eddie squints up at them, chin tilted to reveal the pale expanse of his neck. You don’t know why you can’t stop looking at him. Maybe it’s the weed and the one beer you had, but you never thought a neck could be pretty until now.
“We’ve been here for a while, actually,” Max sasses in return.
Lucas concurs with a shoulder pressed intently against hers. “Yeah. My arm’s starting to get a little tired over here.”
You and Eddie huff and roll your eyes at the same time, so strangely synchronized. You’d both be similarly annoyed if your minds weren’t racing. ‘Cause it’s a tradition now — for all your friends to get you to kiss with storebought mistletoe — and it’s always tradition for them to fail.
It’s a record you and Eddie would like to break now, almost painfully so, but neither of you will humor the other by saying that out loud.
The boy beside you merely shrugs. His cheeks flush pink with an embarrassment he’d sooner blame on the cold. You can see it in his eyes, though — in the twinkle in the deep chocolate of them. His gaze is weirdly expressive in that way. He couldn’t hide anything from you if he tried.
“Should we…?” he trails off. 
He won’t let you know that he wants to — kiss you, that is — but he’s not gonna do anything you don’t want to do, either. He’s not a total asshole, just a stupid boy falling head over heels for a girl he thought he hated five minutes ago.
“Let’s just get it over with,” you huff in annoyance.
You say it begrudgingly — like tasting him with your suddenly longing lips is some kinda chore.
You kiss the breath from his lungs a second later.
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suiana · 4 months
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yo i saw ur rb && feel free to write about the renting concept!!! if u do pls tag me i’d love to see <33 😋
😻😻 rhanks genie
(yandere! rental boyfriend x gn! reader) (shitpost kinda) (concept based on this post)
you know, it's not like you were ugly, dumb or poor. in fact, you consider yourself rather attractive, smart and quite rich. but it seems that no one has noticed that which... might've been why you were single for a very long period of time.
very meaning from when you were born up until recently.
you had always desired for a relationship. wanting to experience the joys of love, the romance, the contentment you get whenever you're with that special someone.
unfortunately you never got to experience that. never. even after putting down your dignity and renting a boyfriend.
you had rented a rather pretty looking guy from this... dodgy website called 'rent-a-darling'? was that the name? it probably is. what a weird website it's called. anyways, it was basically a rental boyfriend/girlfriend website and you had absolutely struck gold with it.
perfect face, perfect body, incredibly intelligent... he was basically a work of art. and his personality wasn't half that bad either! he cracked jokes and they were entertaining enough! he made you laugh, feel better about your miserable love life...
but he just wasn't it.
so you decided to end contact with him. there was no point in continuing that rental service anyways. it's not like he'd like you back even if you fell for him.
except that was exactly what happened?? a few days after you officially ended your contact with your absolute god of a rental boyfriend, he showed up at your doorstep, panting as a lovesick look paints his beautiful features.
you were concerned to say the least. after all, you had never seen him act in such a way before. which was why you allowed him in... which led you to your current situation which was far from ideal.
"could you let me go please? my arms are sore..."
"you know, you're really cute like this."
you merely sigh in response, looking away as you grow awkward under his obsessed gaze. this has been the fifth day since he tied you up, only allowing you to leave the bed for meals and the toilet.
and in those five days he's openly admitted to be in love with you.
while it was nice and endearing to hear such words, you only wish it was from someone you actually loved back. and maybe not as crazy as this guy was.
"can you please let me go? do you want money or something? i can give it to you-"
"what i want is your love, and that cannot be bought with money."
he interjects promptly, still smiling at you with his pearly white teeth which were honestly starting to creep you out. why were they so white? why was he so objectively perfect? and why was he madly obsessed with you?
"hey can i just ask something? why are you so obsessed? like just why."
he pauses for a second, hummung contently as he shuts his eyes for a bit.
"I'm not sure why,"
his eyes open again and he continues his sentence. this time, you can't help but feel an impending sense of dread in your gut when he speaks.
"i guess i just really adore you."
he then giggles oddly, tugging at your bedsheets as his face nears yours.
"you complete me, my love."
you grimace as his face nears yours. ugh, what you wanted was that lovey dovey shit you saw on television. not whatever this was. kidnapping and constant moans of how your captor loves you.
but oh well, it is a relationship. just not the one you wanted. maybe you could learn to deal with it-
"darling! if you tell me how much you love me, block everyone else you know, leave your job, and promise to run away with me, I'll untie you! how about it?"
...yeah, you're not dealing with this. perhaps you're just not meant for love.
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shipmanisms · 2 months
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⋆ 𓏲 THE YELLOWJACKETS BEING JEALOUS .ᐟ
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cw. swearing and some suggestive themes but not really anything too specific!!
a/n. HFHFHFHFHFFH GODDD 1 month anniversary of shipmanisms and ALREADY 176 followers 🥹 im so grateful for every single one of you, i love you all sm and thank you for supporting me sm 💓
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⋆ natalie scatorccio
natalie would be so grumpy if she saw you talking with another girl or even breathing the same air as her,, she'd immediately pout and scoff and throw a snarky remark to make you pay attention to her :(
“awh, such a romantic moment” said natalie while rolling her eyes as she saw you and lottie, your best friend, talking in a hushed tone, probably 'flirting' like nat thought, when in reality you were asking lottie for advice on how to ask nat out for doomcoming . . . “you know what would be a romantic moment? this, do you wanna be my partner for the doomcoming?please?baby?” you asked out of the blue with an awkward smile, but hey! it was lottie's ideas, she was the one who told you to be yourself.
⋆ lottie matthews
she wouldn't even be mad or jealous, just confused if she saw one of the other yjs getting close to you. she'd look at you like a dumb puppy with those big ole brown eyes of hers and go like "hey, can we:(( talk:((( pls:(("
“baby, hey, what's up with you and shauna? you're spending so much time with her instead of me” lottie's sweet voice rang through your ears, and you giggled a bit at seeing her so desperate to talk to you more. hugging her and resting your head on her shoulder, you looked up at her with a smile. “jackie is shocked that she's not the one who got shauna pregnant, and she's not talking to her, so shauna asked for my help" you intertwined your fingers with lottie's, seeing her finally relax and a look of realisation cross her face.
⋆ jackie taylor
sassy loser girlfailure princess who's jealous and needs attention 24/7 or else she'll die ( she's just like me ) , of course she'll never let you go without reassurance and an explanation + an apology paragraph.
“when did you stop wanting me to be your girlfriend? how is travis more important than me now?” jackie asked frustrated as she stomped her feet a bit with her hands on her lips, looking at you impatiently. “baby.. he ate his brother's heart..” — “okay an- oh. yeah, i remember now, okay! i love you then, tell me if you need help with comforting him” she smiled and pecked your lips.
⋆ shauna shipman
jealous shauna is your worst enemy, she wouldn't even talk, she'd just bottle up all of her jealousy until she finally snaps.
seeing you hugging with van was what made shauna lose her temper, she tried to keep her calm, seeing you and van everywhere with each other, talking, laughing, saying inside jokes that no one understood but you two— and now hugging? storming off and grabbing you by the hand, leading you out of the cabin, you knew you were fucked. “can you tell me what the fuck is going on with van?” shauna said in an angry tone, her brown eyes intensely staring at you. "we're stranded in the wilderness..i can't be only talking to you?i have to... communicate with other people too in order to survive? besides what's up with you and taissa? running off in the woods like you're romeo and juliet or whatever bullshit you're doing there!" and it just turns into a whole argument that none of you ever apologize for, but it'll probs end up with you dead or you two cuddling together.
⋆ van palmer
jealous van is a CONFUSED van, they probably wouldn't even notice it until one night where you're all talking with each other but you don't sit next to them like you always do cause you're sitting next to natalie.
biting their lip, they anxiously took some small steps towards you. “hi baby, can we talk?" and the moment you nod and get up, they drag you in the woods and yap your ear off about the whole situation, only for you to explain that you're still very very very in love with them and that you're just getting the gossip from natalie about her and travis. "oh, okay!" and then they just smooch you all over :(
⋆ taissa turner
just like shauna, this girl is ready to fight at any moment given when she realises somebody's taking HER partner way.
“yeah, it'll be fine, you just need to focus on to who you should pass the ball to at the right moment” you adviced allie before hugging her and giving her shoulder a small pat, not knowing taissa was looking. “you'll do great, now come on, we need to go” you said before running out in the field, allie following closely and— not even an hour later, allie was on the ground, screeching in pain as her leg painfully snapped because of taissa tripping her purposefully, making you gag and cover your eyes at the sight of the blood.
as soon as practice finished, everyone gathered to talk about the incident, and of course you immediately took taissa's side even if she was in the wrong. “listen! im sure she didn't mean to, right baby?” you asked tai, but she stayed silent. “yeah see! she confirmed it!” you defended her again, even if she wasn't even trying to defend her own self. later on, as everyone left, pissed and angry at taissa and at you for picking her side, it was just you and her now.
“why'd you do it?” you asked your girlfriend, playing with the straps of her bag. “she was too close to you and i wasn't going to let her steal you from me— you're mine, and she should know that” she spat out, rolling her eyes before looking at you. “maybe you don't know it either, hm? think i may need to prove it to you” she smirked, dragging you towards the showers in no time.
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thursdaygxrls · 9 months
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thin ice — one
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part one | part two | part three
summary — she didn’t handle the sports section of the campus newspaper, but apparently, she did this week. interviewing hockey players was easy, though—unless one of those players happened to be peter parker.
pairing — uni hockey player!peter parker x fem!journalist!reader
disclaimers — i don’t own peter parker. and pls don't come for me with the accuracy of this situation i'm begging
warnings — reader is referred to as ‘kitty’ (there’s a reason, i promise), slight one sided enemies to lovers, sewer slide jokes (very briefly), possible maybe slightly ooc, and very unedited
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“You’re joking. You’re pulling the biggest prank I’ve ever seen, you are the impractical joker,” she huffs out, her eyes wide as furiously clicks her mouse, “I’m gonna die. I’m writing the note tonight—farewell, my lovely!”
“Woah, okay,” MJ, her roommate, had only just entered the room when she was bombarded with a sudden rant. She didn’t even have time to take down her ponytail of thin, red braids before her eardrums were assaulted.
“I mean it.” Spinning her chair, she meets MJ’s eyes.
“I literally just got here,” MJ plops down on the bed in front of the desk, “Care to tell me why you’re writing that note?”
“I’m a dumb, dumb girl, that’s why,” she groans in response.
“We already knew that.” MJ’s words only cause the girl in front of her to shoot daggers with her gaze; “Sorry, sorry. Why are you a dumb, dumb girl?”
“God, okay, so,” she lets out a loud sigh, “Eli is gonna be gone for the rest of the month—Europe or something, good for him. Anyways, they needed someone to cover his assignments for him until he gets back, and I volunteered, but, like, only to be nice, y’know? I did it as an obligation. But…”
“But?” MJ pressed.
“I just got an email, and it’s me,” she grumbled, “They’re putting me on Eli’s assignments.”
“Hm, I see,” MJ’s lips curl into a frown as she gently rubs the girl’s arm, “Too much work?”
“Oh, no, my stuff’s easy,” she waved her off, “Just reading the poetry submissions. I mean, it can be exhausting, but it’s not too bad.”
“Then what is it?” MJ cocks her head.
“Eli…Eli does sports,” she shuddered. MJ couldn’t contain the loud laugh that slipped out, clamping a hand over her mouth to stifle it.
“You’re worried about sports?” She giggles, her eyes twinkling.
“It’s not funny!” She smacks MJ lightly, “Sports aren’t unbearable or anything, but, like, why me? I don’t know enough! I’ll screw it up, I’ll lose my spot, they’ll stick me back in—”
“Relax,” MJ grabs her shoulders, bringing her closer, “First off, no, you won’t lose your spot, we both know they’d be losing their minds without you. Second, they wouldn’t just throw it on you if they thought you’d give them bad work, right?” She eyes MJ almost suspiciously. There’s a momentary stare-down before she relents.
“I hate that you’re right,” she sighs, spinning her chair around. MJ stops the spin by putting her hands down on the arms of the chair.
“Thought you’d be used to it by now,” she giggles, “So, what do you have to do?”
“I don’t know.” Is the mumbled reply.
“You didn’t even look?” MJ laughs again, “You were losing your mind, and you didn’t even know what you’re doing?”
“I’m sorry that I’m sensitive,” she huffs. Her gaze moves back to the laptop before her. The email is open on the screen, so she begins scrolling through it, MJ reading the words over her shoulder. Her eyes nearly bulge out of her head when she gets to the end.
“Fuck this,” she almost slams her laptop shut, but is stopped short by MJ.
“Slow down!” The redhead slaps her hand out of the way to read the rest of the email.
The ESU hockey team had made it to the NCAA Division I Men's Ice Hockey tournament for the first time in six years—and they were doing damn good. Eli had been tasked with interviewing the team captain as well as a few other star players, but, of course, it was no longer Eli's job.
"Oh, come on,” MJ rolled her eyes, “They gave you a Google Doc with questions, all you have to do is ask them and write down their response."
“That's the problem, I have to ask,” she shivered.
"You've done interviews before!" MJ was ready to smack her.
"With professors! And cool artsy people! Not hockey guys," she cringed, “I bet half of them are in a frat. They're probably gonna be assholes and tell me I have cooties."
“Are you twelve?” MJ groaned, “You sort of lucked out with this—half the work is already done for you! You don’t need to write up any questions!” A sigh left her lips as she took on a more comforting tone: “If it makes you feel any better, Harry is on the team.”
Ah, Harry. MJ had been seeing him for a little over a month by now. He wasn’t a bad guy at all. A little full of himself, but nice enough to talk to. Her eyes roved over the list of players she was set to interview. Sure enough, Harry Osborn was there. So was Miles Morales, who was described as an extremely promising freshman. Zack Coleson, who had the highest number of goals for the season. Last on the list was the team captain: Peter Parker.
“I can talk to Harry,” MJ offered, “I can let him know that it’s you doing the interviews. I’ll make sure he tells them to go easy on you—”
“No, no,” she shook her head, “That might make it worse. And they already know that it’s not Eli coming. Or they should, at least”
“You sure?” MJ quirked a brow, her features crinkling in a way that was only intelligible as concern.
“They’ll be walking on eggshells around me if they know I’m chickenshit, I won’t get a good interview,” she sighed. Even if the interview wasn’t what she wanted to do, she was going to have to. And she would do a good job—a great job.
“You got this, Kitty,” MJ squeezed her shoulders. The nickname pulled a smile from her, and she gave into MJ’s touch.
“We’ll see about that,” she relented. Her eyes traveled back to the computer screen. The interviews were scheduled two days from now at the Stark Memorial Rink.
“Hey, MJ,” she hummed, “Could you grab me my noose?”
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The rink was colder than she expected. The empty stands provided no body heat, not to mention there was a literal sheet of ice on the floor. Tugging at the strap of her messenger bag, she took slow, careful steps to the plexiglass.
Clink.
Her eyes widened. There were around ten to fifteen guys in full gear out on the ice, and another ten to fifteen more on a bench near the glass or flitting around the edge of the rink. She was nervous, so she got there early. Now, she was stuck watching them practice.
Leaving was so tempting. She could go back to her dorm, or better yet, leave college entirely. She could just give up and fall off the grid, cut her credit cards, throw her phone in the ocean, sail off to Greece—
“Hello?”
She cursed the muffled voice that pulled her back into reality. Blinking, she found that standing before her was one of the very hockey players she’d seen skating on the rink before her. He was tall, and gear under his black and purple jersey made him appear far more bulkier than she theorized he was. He slipped his helmet off to reveal brown, curly hair that was drenched in sweat.
“Hi,” she replied, trying not to sound as nervous as he would. He cocked his head at her as he popped out his mouth guard.
“This is a closed practice,” he said, though, he didn’t sound all too upset that she was here.
“Oh, yeah, I know,” she nodded quickly, her fingers toying with the strap of her bag again, “I’m a bit early, I’m supposed to be interviewing some people on the team. I’m—”
“Kitty?” She was interrupted by the sound of a voice as well as skates scraping across the ice. Glancing past the guy in front of her, she saw Harry slide off the ice and clomp to benches where they currently were.
“Hey, Harry.” Her lips were screwed up in a tight grin. He’d heard MJ call her Kitty once, and now it was the only thing he’d refer to her as.
“Kitty?” Mystery guy repeated the name with a hint of intrigue.
“It’s not my real name, my friends just call me that,” she shook her head.
“What’re you doing here?” Harry asked, swinging an arm around the shoulder of the guy in front of her.
“I’m Eli’s replacement,” she explained, trying to plaster a friendly smile to her lips, “I’m doing the interviews.”
“Aw, shit, why didn’t MJ tell me we got the cool Kitty-cat on the case?” Harry grinned.
“Could you try to never say those words again? Really hated it, thanks,” her nose crinkled.
“You got it.” He tried to point finger guns at her, but with the thick gloves on, it just looked like he was pointing his whole hand.
“Hey,” he started up again, “You’re a little early, so practice isn’t over yet, but we’re almost done. It’s just the four of us, right?”
“Right,” she nodded in response. It was a relief that they’d been briefed on the situation.
“Alright, well, I’m Harry, obviously, Miles and Zack are on the ice somewhere, and this right here—” Harry jostled the shoulders of the Mystery guy, “—is Peter. Oh captain, my captain!”
Peter chuckled as Harry clapped him on the back. The noise that emanated from the friendly hit was harsh, but Peter didn’t move a muscle.
“Right,” she nodded, “So, I figured we could do them individually? There’s some sort of specific questions for each of you.”
“Sounds good, Kitty,” Harry replied. She’d smack him if he said that name again.
“Sit tight for a bit,” Peter spoke up. Even with the stubble on his chin, his smile gave him a boyish appearance. He looked her up and down quickly, “We can try to wrap up practice early.”
'A bit' ended up feeling like forever. At first, she tried to distract herself with her phone, but it didn't work: she would open apps, scroll through them, then close them just to reopen them over and over again. So she organized her bag, which took about five minutes. Time seemed to tic by in a tauntingly slow manner. It was only when she saw a few of the players emerge from the locker room did she let out a breath of relief. She immediately sucked that breath back when she realized that she would actually have to talk to some of them.
Harry went first. It was easy enough to go through the questions with him. It was like talking to an over-eager relative at a family reunion, one who was just dying to talk about all the new things they're doing. Miles wasn't all that bad to interview, either. He was a lot more nervous than she was. His awkward pauses and constant strings of 'um' and 'uh' was almost comforting. Then came Peter.
"Kitty," he grinned as soon as he saw her seated on the bench next to the rink. He no longer wore his gear—just a hoodie and a pair of gray sweats. His hair, however, was still wet and tousled. She gave him a tight lipped smile in return.
"That's not my name," she replied. Before she had time to properly introduce herself, his raspy chuckle was already echoing through the open arena.
"You said that's what your friends call you, right?" He cocked his head as he sat down on the other edge of the bench.
"You're not—” If she could just make it through the interview without fuss, she'd be one person away from being free, "—right. That's what my friends call me."
"I'm going to be recording this, just so I can reference it later," she explained almost monotonously.
"This isn't my first time," he responded with another light laugh. She had to physically bite her tongue to fight off any comments. A soft click sounded from her phone as she started a new voice memo. Her eyes scanned the list of questions on the page before her. Some she'd already asked to Harry and Miles: How does it feel to make the tournament? What is the atmosphere of the team right now? She chose a fresh question to start with.
"What's it like to be the captain of this team? Are you proud? Overwhelmed?" She asked, her voice taking on a new tone closer to a news anchor than a regular person. Peter's lips curled up at the change.
"I'm proud, yeah," he nodded, his voice smooth, "This is a great group. But we all work our asses off, so I'm not surprised by how far we've come. Being their captain is really something."
"And—"
"Do you normally do sports? For the paper, I mean." Before she could even get her next sentence out, he interrupted her. Her grip on the papers in her hand tightened.
"No, not normally," she grit out, "And going along with your thoughts on being captain, what about making it to the tournament this year?"
"It's the best feeling in the world. It's something I've been chasing after for years now, finally getting to it is just...sort of indescribable." Even when his tone is nothing but sincere, he can't wipe the cocky grin from his lips.
"I can imagine," she smiled tautly in reply, "What was it like working your way up to captain? Was it a personal journey, or did you get support from the team?"
"I'd say it was an even mix of both," he hummed, "Do you like hockey?"
"What?" She furrowed her brows.
"Are you a hockey fan?" He reiterated, "Because our next game is home, and it's sort of packed, but I could get you some tickets assuming you don't have some already—"
"No—Peter," she let out a frustrated huff, tapping on her phone to momentarily pause the recording, "This is an interview, not social hour."
"Aren't interviews inherently social?" His smirk was infuriating.
"I mean that I ask the questions, you answer them," she grumbled, "Do you act like this with Eli? Are you not taking me serious because I'm a woman?"
"What?" His smirk fell immediately, "What? No—no. I'm taking you seriously, I take women very seriously. I'm all for women. They're great."
"Then can we just do this interview and get it over with?" She sighed, her finger hovering over the unpause button. He nodded, but before she could resume the interview, he quickly added: "But do you want tickets?"
Ignoring the question, she carried on. Peter seemed to mellow out after a while and didn't interrupt again. It was almost surprising how well he'd listened: he was giving her real, insightful answers to her questions without a hint of flirtation. The final interview with Zack flowed easily, and she fled Stark Memorial Rink as quick as she could.
Transcribing the interviews was the easiest part. Days later, she would be hunched over her computer in the darkness of her shared dorm, playing and replaying the recordings and typing out the words onto the screen. Her concentration was briefly interrupted, though, when the door opened and a stream of light threaded its way through the room and onto the back of her head.
"Light bad!" She slapped her hands over her eyes, "Light very bad!"
"You're gonna go blind if you keep staring at your computer in the dark," MJ spoke in a warning tone, but ultimately closed the door.
"Then blind I must go," she sighed, swiveling on her chair to look at her roommate, "How was class?"
"Normal," MJ shrugged, sliding her bag off her shoulders, "But I have a little something for you."
"Something for little ol' me?" She gasped in dramatized delight.
"Yes," MJ grinned widely as her hand reached for the zipper of her bag, "Close your eyes."
She obliged immediately, her nose scrunched in anticipation, "I hope it's a million dollars. Is it a million dollars? Am I close?"
"Almost," MJ giggled. After a moment of anticipation, MJ gently grabbed her hands and place something into them. It was thin and papery and rectangular. Opening her eyes, she looked down to see a white envelope with 'Kitty' written out on the front. Her brows furrowed at the unfamiliar handwriting.
"Is there a check for a million dollars inside?" She asked as she cocked her head.
"No clue, it's not from me," MJ shrugged.
"Then who's it from?" Her fingers slid under the lip of the envelope.
"Harry gave it to me to give to you," MJ grinned, "He said it's from Peter."
She should've sailed to Greece when she had the chance. Inside the envelope were two tickets—Empire State University versus Pennbrook University this Saturday at seven. A long groan left her lips before she finally met MJ's eyes.
"You never got me that noose I asked for."
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a/n — not sure how i’m feeling abt this one guys. hockey peter has been causing me brain rot tho so i couldn’t help myself.
655 notes · View notes
gyuhanniesworld · 7 days
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livin’ like angels, lovin’ like devils
pairings: Mingyu!non-idol, Jeonghan!non-idol x reader
genre: 🔞 MDNI smut
warnings: porn!withoutplot, poly relationship, overstimulation, oral (m and f receiving), dom!mingyu, dom!jeonghan, sub!reader, mentions of a feast, unprotected sex (pls don’t do this! always cover up), penetration, anal, dacryphilia, squirting, if you’re not comfortable with mxm then you’re free to scroll down. pls tell me if i forgot to mention anything
an: hi! this is my 2nd fic here (since i’m too much of a coward to post the first one). i’m still pretty new to writing smut (i just really love reading them but writing them??). please, don’t be shy on leaving your reviews so i could make more (probably) and better ones in the future hihi. p.s. this was not proofread so im sorry ☺️
—————
“welcome home, princess!” was the first thing you heard when you entered your flat.
you just closed a deal with a big client today but you were also swamped with loads of paperwork. you were just so tired but seeing your boyfriend greeting you just took all of the tiredness away.
mingyu ran towards you and spun you around. you squealed and laughed at your cute boyfriend. “we just got the news! congratulations on that deal, baby. i knew you were working so hard for that.” he said as he littered your face with kisses. even after dating for over a year now, you would still get shy when he overloaded you with love and compliments.
“hey! it’s my turn, gyu.” another voice spoke behind him as mingyu placed you down. you smiled at jeonghan as he embraced you. “congratulations, baby. we got the news before we got home so..” he whispered to your head as he placed a kiss on your forehead. he took a step back and revealed the feast they prepared. you gasped as you saw the cake that said ‘that’s our princess!’.
you whipped around and enclosed both your boyfriends in a warm hug. “thank you so much, my loves.” you kissed each of them on the cheek and plopped yourself on a chair.
“someone’s hungry.” mingyu joked as he prepared the three of you a plate.
“i’m starving!” you perked while pouting to your other boyfriend who was behind you, massaging your back. you smiled as they started talking about their day and what happened in the office.
nothing could get better than this.
——————————
you woke up with a moan.
you just felt something was different when you could feel the warm tongue of your boyfriend practically french-kissing your clit. another moan elicited from your mouth when another mouth enclosed itself on one of your nipples. both your hands were on their heads before you could think.
“well, good m- ugh morning to the both of you.” you practically sighed as you watched with half lided eyes both your boyfriends get to work. mingyu, who was slotted in-between your thighs, stopped his licking and smirked at you. “i see our princess is awake.” you took a hold of his hair and dragged his face towards you, kissing him with labored breaths.
“hey! what about me?” you stopped making out with the big man to see your beautiful and whiny boyfriend pout at you. “c’mere.” you took a hold of his neck and kissed him next. jeonghan whined at your mouth as you dragged a hand across his chest and towards the band of his underwear, slightly teasing him with some light scratching.
mingyu, who was abandoned for a while, resorted to kissing your neck while fondling with your other boob. you couldn’t resist the urge to grind on his front, making him grab onto your hips, grounding your plump back to his hardness.
“i see that both of you are needy this morning.” you say as you break your kiss from jeonghan. he takes this time to shuffle towards your aching slick and eat you out.
your head was going haywire with all of the overstimulating and you were going dumb. you were now on top of mingyu while jeonghan was making himself pretty busy with your aching nub.
“please, just fuck me already.” you sighed as the bigger man made you sit up and remove his undergarments. jeonghan placed a final kiss on you before removing his.
“want to take us both this early, baby?” jeonghan asked as he started to tie your hair back while mingyu slowly stroked his dick. you were salivating at the scene when jeonghan finished tying your hair, grabbing onto it and making you look up.
“you look so beautiful, princess. we’re gonna take care of you now, hmm?” he whispered as he claimed your mouth with his. you separated yourself from him to kiss your other boyfriend who was starting to look impatient. “you gonna break me, pretty boy?” you ask as he nodded and kissed you hungrily. he bit on your upper lip to make you open up. his tongue fighting with dominance as you try to keep up.
jeonghan took your hand and guided it to his leaking dick. you started stroking him and you could hear his quiet moans. mingyu broke the kiss and situated his head in between your legs again. “what are you doing, baby?” you asked him as he positioned himself below your wetness. “ride my face, princess. my face is your thrown.” he said as he basically forced you to sit on his face. you cried out as he swirled his tongue on you while jeonghan used the moment to thrust in your mouth. you shook as you looked into jeonghan’s eyes with tears in yours.
“awe. you’re loving this, aren’t you princess? getting your pretty pussy ate and your mouth fucked at the same time?” he cooed as he started to go deeper, into your throat. you nodded as did your best to take all of him into your mouth. you were starting to feel the familiar coil on the pit of your stomach when you took his dick out your mouth and sucked on his balls. jeonghan whipped his head back and released a low grown.
“yeah, suck on my balls. you just love having them in your mouth, yeah?” he gritted as he held your head while stroking his cock with the other. you cried as mingyu denied you of your release.
“you wanna come on my face, princess?” gyu asked as he started licking your ass, making your cry out more.
“please, daddy. make me cum. i’ll be a good girl, i promise.” you whimpered as you felt his mouth ghosting on your pussy while trying to please your other boyfriend.
“you gonna do anything we say, baby? anything?” jeonghan asked as he knelt by your side, kissing on your neck towards your chest.
“yes, daddy. i’ll do whatever you want.” you cried as you grew desperate for release. jeonghan chuckled as he looked at you with tears rolling down your face. “is it that bad, baby? you want both of our cocks in those pretty holes of yours?” he cooed as he grab a hold of your hair.
“yes, daddy! i want you both destroying both my holes! please, just fuck me hard.” you moaned as he swallowed your cries and picked you up, leaving you whining as your cunt was left unaccompanied.
“you think you can still stand up, princess?” gyu asked as he helped you up. you nodded as he captured your mouth for another kiss while jeonghan kneeled in front of your leaking cunt. he kissed you before enveloping the swollen nub in his mouth, moaning as he got a taste of you.
you were a crying mess and you looked so fucked out, it turned gyu on more. he was basically holding you up as he kissed down your neck and towards your back. “lean on the table and lift your leg up.” mingyu stated. you weren’t the most flexible person out there but when it came down to these two, you would probably in the olympics by now.
both of them were on you now and you just couldn’t so anything but cry. this was another level of overstimulating and you were so sick to be loving every bit of it. you loved the attention the both of then were offering you.
mingyu’s mouth was on your ass while jeonghan was preoccupied with your pussy, lapping and fingering it for his cock. “tell us how you’re loving this, princess. i wanna know how you’re feeling and how you want us.” jeonghan spoke as he continued lapping on your swollen clit.
you swallowed the pooling saliva on your mouth. “i love how you’re making me feel, daddies. i love how you’re fucking me with your fingers while daddy tongues my butt. i just want that both of you in me now. please.” you cried as you feel yourself shake with everything going on.
“i think that’s enough, babe.” jeonghan says as mingyu removed his mouth from your behind. he grabs a hold of mingyu’s neck as he goes in for a kiss. your eyes go wide and a moan was out of your mouth at this new scene. they were pretty much straight when the three of you got in this relationship and well, you didn’t know what was going on when you weren’t around. you were going to have a talk after this.
you watch as the two beautiful men made out. mingyu’s hands were exploring jeonghan’s body while jeonghan stroked the bigger man’s big cock. oh my god. you could feel yourself dripping from the scene as your hands subconsciously made their way towards your chest and your pussy. you were already going insane and they weren’t even inside you, yet.
“look, babe. our princess is so turned on with this right now.” mingyu said as jeonghan knelt in front of him, starting to take his cock in his mouth. you bit your lip to stop another moan from getting out as you saw your pretty boyfriend give head to the bigger one. you didn’t know why but you were so turned on and could just finish with just watching them.
“should we fuck her hard now?” jeonghan asked as he stood up and had his nipple sucked my mingyu. dear god, this was not good for your sanity.
“who said you could fuck yourself, huh, baby?” mingyu asked as he removed himself from jeonghan and strutted towards you. he removed your hands from your pussy and licked on your fingers. “please. make me cum, daddy.” you mumbled as he picked you up, opening you up for jeonghan, as well.
“you still okay, princess?” jeonghan asked as he took a hold of mingyu’s cock and brushed it over your pussy. both of moaned as you felt it push in your ass. you let our a scream as you felt the familiar stretch. mingyu had a beautiful long, tanned and thick cock while jeonghan had a prettier, longer but thinner cock.
“oh my god oh my god oh my god. fuck, you’re filling me up gyu.” you stammered as you felt him go in inch by inch. you were given a few seconds to breathe until another cock plunged in your pussy.
“fuck! you feel so tight, princess. i could just come right now.” jeonghan said as they started moving together. you didn’t have any other choice but to grab a hold of jeonghan’s neck and kiss him. you could hear mingyu groaning at how tight you are.
“you want us to cum in you, princess? does our pretty little cumslut want us to fill you up with our cum?” gyu asked with gritted teeth as he felt his end coming. you nodded as moaned with the two of them. they were in sync and were reaching the deepest parts of you. jeonghan’s breathing was getting shorter, a clear sign that he was cumming soon.
after a few more strokes, your bedroom was filled with cries and moans from the two of them but you were different. their paces were animalistic and as you were chanting their names, you felt yourself break loose. jeonghan moaned as you squirted on both his and mingyu’s cock.
“fuck! that was so hot, baby. didn’t know you could do that.” mingyu praised as he moved you up and down his cock, riding you through his orgasm. jeonghan smirked at the mess you made on him. you grew shy as he swiped his cock that had your release and placed it on his mouth, moaning at your combined taste.
mingyu slowly removed you from his cock and groaned as he took your fucked out state on your bed. you had your eyes closed and both of your boyfriends plopped themselves on either side of the bed.
“wow.” you said as you placed an arm over your forehead.
“you think you could still walk, princess?” mingyu asked as he kissed the side of your head. you chuckled as you open your eyes to see both your boyfriends staring at you adoringly. you propped yourself up to see the clock that read 10:34 A.M. you plopped yourself down on the bed and sighed.
“you made me late, again.” you stated. you heard the both of them giggle as they spooned you back to sleep.
you were definitely getting an earful from seungkwan tomorrow.
134 notes · View notes
madlysage · 3 months
Text
in the gym… no one knows i’m reading tumblr drabbles. i don’t fit in, and i don’t want to fit in. have u ever seen me without this stupid hat on?
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artificialbreezy · 3 months
Note
This is a niche thought but I live for your nsfw headcanons so pls hear me out. Your birthday, Noah makes you cum for each year you’ve been alive (23 orgasms if you’re 23 etc) I cannot be the only one thinking this
this is the best thing i’ve read today omfg
nsfw under the cut ◡̈
he’d totally bring up as a joke.
“ya know how you’re supposed to get birthday spankings? like one for each year? well, what if i made you cum once for each year?”
brain goes empty bc WHAT IF but you play it cool, “i mean i think id get TIRED by the time your done. let alone i don’t know if i can even get off 23 times”
he wouldn’t bring it up again UNTIL the day of your birthday
you’d be fast asleep in bed, and he’d be kissing your neck and working his hands down your body trying to wake you up
you’d slowly stir awake and just look at him all sleepy “whatcha doing Noah?”
“just wanna make you feel good on your special day baby”
then he’d give you your first one on his fingers
the day would move on according to plan right, but when you got home from your birthday dinner with the whole gang is when he’d really step it up right?
he’d push you against the wall in the living room, right by the front door. “baby, you remember what i told you the other. one orgasm per year?” and you’d just nod because he’s leaning on the wall over you and your head is just a mess
Noah is a munch right. we know this. he’d lift up the bottom of your dress, pull your panties to the side and immediately lick a wide strip from your entrance to your clit
he’d give you number 2 of the day right against that wall
by the time you make it to his bedroom you’re on number 5 and he’s ONLY used his mouth and hands
he’d sit on the edge of his bed and pat his thigh “mere baby. want you to fuck yourself on my thigh”
at this point you’re just desperate, you’re a little fucked out but you refuse to call it quits until he’s inside you and who knows when that’s gonna be at this point
you feel your the edge right there but you’re so tired, so Noah grabs your hips and does it for you
“too dumb to get yourself off huh? don’t worry sweetheart, daddy’s gotcha”
after you cum again, he’ll pick you up off his lap and lay you on his bed FINALLY
“god you’re soaked baby”
“Sir, please. need you”
he’d laugh at your desperation but since it is your birthday he’ll play it nice
he’d drag his cock up your folds just to tease you a little bit
when he finally decides you’ve had enough of his teasing, he’d slowly push himself inside you.
“fuck. you’re so tight. relax angel, gotta relax so you can let me in. yeah?”
he’s the type of man who would grab your legs and push them to your chest so he could really bottom out and FEEL you so that’s exactly what he did
his thrust are slow and steady at first, sweet almost
“happy birthday angel. now you know i love you right? because im about to fuck you like i don’t.”
he 100% wouldn’t stop until you safe worded or passed out tbh
i feel like the ending point was 10 or 11.
your body was so numb and so tired and just on a whole other world when he finally called it quits
you’d definitely end up in sub space
“can you hear me honey? ya with me?”
“what a good girl. did so good for me baby. so proud of you.”
“i gotcha angel, im right here. im going to clean you up now okay? just relax and let me do all the work.”
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jaidens · 8 months
Note
omg wait bradley introducing his gf to his parents (obvs in an au where goosie poo and carol arent dead <33a0 PLS AND TYSM ML <3333333333333333333333333333
there ain't a thing a man can do she'll only love you for you
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pairing [s] : bradley bradshaw x reader
warning [s] : nothing!
a/n [s] : dal lives for requesting brad [requests are open!]
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“Brad,” You say above the music that plays on the radio. “I’m worried. Who says they'll like me? I mean, these are your parents.”
Bradley looks over to you, hand stopping the tapping movement on your thigh. His Ray-Bans cover his eyes, but you can tell he's looking at you. “Baby, just be yourself. My mom said she's tired of hearing the stories about you, and how ‘wonderful’ you already seem. I promise it will be fine.”
When the large, suburban Bradshaw home comes in your sight, you feel the pit in your stomach start to fill with worry. “Are you ready?” Bradley asks.
You nod and he shuts the engine off and gets out of the car, and you follow slightly after and grab your purse and phone. There are about fifteen cars parked in the driveway and on the edge of the road, as well as in the grass. You knew it was a family reunion, but not this big of a reunion. You connect your hands with Bradley’s and scoot closer to him.
He takes you up the stairs and knocks on the door. There are some small Halloween and fall decorations on the wrap around porch on each pole. You're zoned out on the porch decor when you hear it. “Bradley! Hello honey!” An older woman's voice captures your attention and you give her a large smile.
She has Bradley in her arms before she takes you in. “Oh, you must be Y/N! You are so beautiful. You are just the sweetest! Come inside!” Her hand pushes you both in and you look around at everyone mingling, children running around, and right in the middle of everything stands Nick Bradshaw.
“Here, why don't you come and meet my dumb husband Nick. Now, we have both been dying to meet you. Bradley never seems to shut his mouth about you, I already love you from what he's told me.” Carole is practically dragging you too, and Bradley shrugs his shoulders and follows after his mother.
“Bradley! There's my boy!” A loud obnoxious shout fills your ears. You smile when Nick hugs Bradley in his arms, and shakes him around. He looks almost identical to Bradley, with thinner hair and the fact he was greying. “And you must be?” He turns and lets go of him, and shakes your hand.
“Y/N. I’m Bradley’s girlfriend.” When you say it, he shouts a yell and kicks his feet around. You can't tell how a man in his sixties can somehow do all of this, but you're smiling and laughing.
“Oh! You are one pretty catch! It is really nice to meet you!” Nick puts his arm around Carole and tugs her into his chest. She hits it playfully and lets Nick kiss her.
“Isn’t she just beautiful?”
“Bradley has good taste, just like his father.” Nick jokes and Bradley laughs. The atmosphere is warm and the worries start to disappear. Bradley stays close to you and he interacts with cousins, aunts, uncles, and others.
“I told you it would be fine.” Bradley told you later, handing you a water as you flipped through old baby pictures and other pictures from his childhood. He sits down next to you and covers an embarrassing picture with his hand. You look up and smile at him, and he kisses you on the tip of your nose and travels to your lips with soft pecks.
“I know. I've also been invited to brunch with your mom.”
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hannie-dul-set · 4 months
Note
sorry but golden retriever sungchan x black cat reader is the only canon option! if you write a blurb on this pls i will actually kiss you in the mouth (ily btw)
[man on a mission]. jung sungchan has taken it upon himself to make you laugh at least once a day.
“you’re so fucking lame,” you tell him with a roll of your eyes, sitting in front of him at the cafeteria while he has two chopsticks sticking out of his nose. “gross,” you say, but the slight quirk of your lips and the way you quickly reach for your iced lemonade to cover it up makes him pump his fist in the air in victory— even at the expense of his image.
“ha! you laughed! i win.”
his other friends ask him why he even bothers. or, in the words of anton, “hyung, why are you so hell bent on making a fool out of yourself at least once a day?” but his motivations go beyond the selfish desire of proving that his sense of humor can even penetrate the moody and scary (i.e. you). sungchan has made is a mission to make you laugh every single day because of one single reason.
sungchan is simply sick and tired of people talking shit about you.
“it’s ridiculous!” he huffs, slamming both fists on the table after anton asked him the question. “they don’t even know them that well!” yet those same people call you bossy, call you a stick in the mud, temperamental and so on and so forth— which, sungchan has to admit isn’t all wrong. you’re always scowling or glaring or telling people off, but your love language is violence and words needled with spikes. sungchan is the only with enough fluency to see the tenderness in your light punches and your eloquent “fuck you’s” straight to his face.
no, he doesn’t want you to change. he doesn’t want you to soften up your edges just because of the thoughtless impressions of a couple dozen unimportant people. 
but it won’t hurt to see you laughing ever so often, right?
“oh my god, stop it,” you wheeze, hands pressed tightly to your face after sungchan shows you a dumb tiktok video he just saw, then imitating it with just as much grace and passion, causing you to snort out loud and burst into a fit. “fuck’s sake, i hate you so much.”
once more, mission accomplished. he forced you to tag along with his friends for dinner today, so that was a necessary move to break the ice— especially because anton is kind of afraid of you. seeing you out of your usual resting bitch face should ease their intimidation, and jung sungchan is proud of himself for a job well done seeing shotaro having a passionate discussion about a manga you’ve both read.
“no way, i couldn’t find a copy anywhere! can you lend it to me?”
there’s  a swell of pride in his chest seeing you talk so easily with someone else other than him. it’s nice to see other people finally seeing you in the same light as he had for the past couple of years. pride. yes. that’s exactly and the only thing he’s feeling right now.
“hey.”
but as your conversation with taro lengthens that you haven’t looked at him since laughing at his joke, and as eunseok discreetly calls his attention while staring at you from across the table with a look in his eyes that’s all too familiar— almost as if he’s looking straight at a mirror—sungchan thinks that maybe he should abort his mission.
“your friend has a pretty smile.”
he knows. he’s been trying to get everyone else to see it all this time.
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nnnyxie · 7 months
Note
Could we get headcanons for masked!Pro!Izuku x Fan!reader??? Masked au as in Hero identities are secret and we‘re besties with Izu and have no idea he is our ‚celebrity‘ crush and we own like tons of merch and a card board cut out and all- idk is that too specific?? Or weird?? Hsbfikskss
OHTMAGDK MY FIRST MHA REQ???? YES!!!
i absolutely adore this idea <3
and baby trust me this is not weird at all!! (i’ve gotten some odd requests, do not fret sweetheart)
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y’all have that like— MJ and spiderman dynamic, before she knew he was spiderman. (the tobey maguire ver. first movie ofc ofc) (i love spiderman btw)
anyways.
whenever he hears you gush about your crush on the sweet ol pro hero deku— he always gets all quiet.
you assume that it’s cause he’s letting you rant about how much you adore this hero but nope!!!
our boy is doing his best not to explode!!
he knows that he has fans and he knows that his fans have those small appreciative ‘celebrity’ crushes on him!!
but, you being one of those fans?? you being one of those fans who have that little crush?? it makes his heart swell and stomach churn.
you, dear reader, are so clumsy (projecting…) and you somehow find yourself in trouble quite often!
especially since you quite LITERALLY stumble into danger. like. literally. it just happens. canon event, you cannot stop it! (/ref)
back to the program
i like to think that you guys go shopping together!! cause shopping with friends (wink) is so fun<3
whenever you go out you HAVE to buy merch of pro hero deku!! and he gets all fluttery when you do!!
(also we’re not going to talk about the secret cardboard cutout that he found in your closet when looking for a sweatshirt. he could’ve died right then and there /pos)
now. one day, you stumble in on a drug deal (jfc…) cause you were looking for smthn in your bag and didn’t wanna be in the way of people.
obviously things go awry. the druggie men (one looks like he could be a mafia boss??) grab you and throw you deeper into the alleyway you chose.
luckily our pro hero deku was on patrol! he witnessed the men shoving you to the ground and pulling out weapons.
now, deku doesn’t usually jump straight into fighting, no— he tries to reason first. he tries to convince them to put their weapons down and see that this whole ordeal is dumb. but— this time??
he jumped straight into action. he hurdle himself over the small concrete edge of the building he was on one of the men.
straight up knocked the guy unconscious. dude was out cold. dead asleep. concussed.
this would also be the first of many saves.
the next couple of times were just small things—
like pulling you away from oncoming cars (aka drivers who weren’t paying attention) when he was patrolling in your area
about the,,,,, 7th?? time he saved you— he just couldn’t believe how you were always getting yourself in these situations.
he’ll ask, “how do you keep getting yourself into situations like these?” half serious, half joking
“not sure but, i’m lucky you’re always there to save me,” you’d reply, good lord your heart would racing.
he’ll laugh and sport a blush under his mask. you’ll feel a slight churn in your stomach (not a bad one) because— he sounds so familiar.
you go back home— feeling giddy because he finally spoke to you— yes he’s talked to you before but— they weren’t sentences. they were small ‘be safe’s and ‘watch out’s.
you immediately call up izuku, needing to talk to someone about this. and he’s trying to hide his blush as you compliment the hero, as you compliment him.
it’s a dim, snowy day that he saves you, again. it’s cold and your lips were chapped because the air was dry.
once again, you find yourself in an alleyway. surrounded by ‘villains’.
he, of course, saves you. just like the last time.
“you might need to become a homebody,” he jokes, he’s frustratingly concerned.
“that’d be no fun, how else would i see you?”
where the hell did that come from? that really wasn’t a ‘you’ thing to say.
pls the way you left— you got so embarrassed omg
as soon as you were at home, you, once again, called izuku!! and he went to your house an hour after.
he listened to you rant about how you embarrassed yourself in front of deku and how you could never face him again. you said “i’d rather be shanked by a villain than face him again. i can’t believe i said that.”
you were hot with embarrassment and honestly felt the urge to cry (or is that just a me thing?)
“it wasn’t embarrassing, plus, i’d rather you not shank yourself because of me.”
“what?”
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i’m sorry if this wasn’t what you were hoping for <//3
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jazminrhode1 · 8 months
Note
Hey! Just wanted to say 1. i love ur writing, it gives me so much comfort and happy chemicals :D and 2. could you do one with reader being besties with the triplets and if you want, just some ideas that popped in my head- chris being chaotic and shaking soda, opening it and getting in readers eye thus more chaos insuing and/or "tell me im pretty >:(" "you'e pretty fucking annoying". pls don't feel obligated to do so!! <3
You Don't Like Dr Pepper? Sturniolo Triplets x Reader One Shot
Summary: You join the triplets for a soda tasting video.
Word Count: 804 words
Author's note: I literally had no ideas for this one, I'm so sorry! I hope this is okay ❤️
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Chris was in a mood. It was 2am and you just wanted to go to bed. But, the boys were filming a video and they claimed that they needed your help.
“Today we’re going to see if we can tell which soda is which,” Nick started the video.
They had covered the cans in duct tape but, under the light, you could still see the colours coming through. Chris had initially thought it was a good idea but, his enthusiasm was waning.
“So we just drink it and say what we think it is?” you asked, less than interested.
“Yes,” Nick said with an eye roll, “this is what I told you Chris, no one wants to see us drink soda.”
You exchanged a look with Matt, he was trying his best not to laugh as he took a sip. “I think it’s Sprite,” Matt said. Nick was done.
“I told you before that there is no clear fucking liquid because that would defeat the fucking point. Do you ever fucking listen?” Nick screamed.
You took Matt by the shoulders and positioned him in front of you to hide yourself from Nick’s wrath. “I forgot,” Matt said as you stifled a laugh in his shoulder blade.
“I think it’s Coke,” Chris said. “I agree,” you replied.
Nick took the lead and placed the drinks by the labels on the table. He didn’t agree with half of the choices but, he wanted it to be over so, he didn’t contest.
Nick passed you one of the cans after he took as sip and said, “Tell me this isn’t Pepsi,”
You took a sip and ran to spit it out in the sink. “This is 100% Dr Pepper,” you said.
Nick’s clapped a hand over his mouth. He was being dramatic and you couldn’t help but laugh. “Do you not like Dr Pepper?” he asked.
“No,” you said - this was something he should know. Chris gasped, Matt’s mouth hung open. “How did you not know that?” you asked.
“You’re crazy,” Nick said as you rolled your eyes. “Are we going with Dr Pepper?” he asked his bothers.
Chris nodded, Matt shrugged. They were getting tired and their energy was fading.
As made your way through the drinks, convinced that they were all wrong, you prayed that the sugar would give you an ounce of energy but, it wasn’t working.
You looked over at Chris and he looked guilty. You didn’t know what he was about to pull out of his hat but, you didn’t want any part of it.
“Are we done?” you asked. Nick was looking around, you could see his temper rising. “Where the fuck is the last can?” he asked.
Chris put the can on the table and slid it over to Nick. “Final can,” he announced to the camera before he opened it. The contents shot out like a burst pipe. It was on the floor, on the ceiling, on the table, on the cabinets, on the walls and all over you.
“Chris!” Nick said. It was enough for Chris to take off running but, Nick grabbed the back of his shirt and stopped him in his tracks.
“Who gave him that?” you asked Nick and Matt. Matt was laughing, handing you a tea towel. Nick’s whacked Chris on the top of his head. “Don’t do shit like that,” he warned.
Chris couldn’t help but laugh. He was pretty fucking proud of himself until he saw Matt checking your eye.
His face dropped, “What happened?” “You got it in her eye, you dumb fucking bitch,” Matt said.
“It’s fine,” you assured Chris but, he felt guilty none the less.
“Are we done?” Nick asked. Before anyone could respond. “We’re done,” he decided.
He stalked around the table trying not to slip. “You look like shit,” Chris joked, nudging your arm.
“This is your fault,” you said, twisting the tea towel and whipping him with it. “Ouch!” he screeched.
You felt sticky and you felt gross. You just wanted to go home and get in the shower asap.
Chris stuck his tongue out jokingly and you pinched it between your fingers. “Hey,” Chris said, “let go.”
“Tell me I’m pretty,” you said jokingly, you could only picture how hideous you looked. You regretted it as soon as you said it. He was not in the mood to play nice, he was in the mood to act like a 5-year-old. His eyes widened with excitement as he took the bait.
“Pretty fucking annoying,” he said before you let go of his tongue and he burst into laughter. A cackle that was at times endearing but, at this moment, it sounded like nails on a chalkboard.
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shankschewtoy · 1 year
Note
CORAZON IS REAAALLYYYYY CLUMSY!! And I was thinking about a s/o even more clumsy than him, who almost die every day! So can I have a headcanons/scenario/one shot/drables (as you want) with Ace, sanji and law with a s/o who’s more, REALLY MORE, clumsy than corazon? Oupsss I forgot say « Hello ».. Sorry I’m so impolite. Hi! I hope you pass a good day or evening or night or morning..!
a/n - hi hi anon :) i love this idea 😭💜
Warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, crack 😂
Dumb ways to die
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- every time you slip on the stairs, trip on air, fall because of literally nothing, this man will save you
- and he’ll do it in the most romantic way possible
- he’ll catch you bridal style and give you a dip kiss while smiling like a romantic little shit
- “Be careful my love, I wouldn’t want you to get hurt.” he’s such a simp for you
- he has a sixth sense that is triggered whenever you’re about to fall, he could be in the middle of a convo with the most gorgeous lady he’s ever seen (Pft I’m joking ofc it’s you bro)
- “Excuse me, my amazing y/n is about to trip on their shoelaces.” fucking zooms away
- he has not dropped you, a single time
- and he will hold true to that, no matter what
- I swear whenever he catches you that true beauty car scene plays 💀💀💀
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- bastard would honestly just let you fall and hurt yourself so you learn to not be as clumsy
- “Why didn’t you catch me, you’re literally right there!”
- “You’re not dead or hurt right?”
- “THAT’S NOT THE POINT LAW.”
- bitch. 💀
- ok this continued until he saw Sanji catching you before you fell like the gentleman he is, ohhh now the game is on
- you could be on the stairs and he’d be right behind you, just waiting for you to fall
- “y/n are you feeling off balance today?”
- “no- why?”
- “uh- just wondering” he will stay behind you, ALL DAY. AND I MEAN, ALL FUCKING DAY. To make sure HE catches you, and no one else
- no one, I mean no one, is allowed to catch you other than him (and Luffy bec he really doesn’t care 💀)
- thank Sanji for his new “caring” behavior 🥰
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- he’s managed to catch you once, just once, and it was when you two met in the most cliche, korean drama way-
- “Oh- you ok?” you stare into his brown orbs as his devour yours
- “Oh- um… Yes, thank you f-for catching me.” you turn away shyly, your cheeks pink from embarrassment
- …I’m gonna go die now 💀
- but anyways- yes, that was the only time he’s been able to catch you
- the other times, he’s too busy laughing at you because he’s confused as to how you tripped on air 😭
- “BAHAHAHAHA Y/N YOU’RE AMAZING! HOW’D YOU DO THAT?!”
- “SHUT UP AND HELP ME UP DIPSHIT!”
- pls he’ll laugh about it all day long and bring up that one time you tripped and fell straight into the ocean literally every single day
- Out of nowhere he’ll start giggling, “Ace what?”
- “remember- when you tripped on your own weapon and fell into the ocean? *WHEEEZE*”
- you ignored him for the next hour or so, and he came crying back saying he wasn’t going to laugh at you again
- he laughed about it within five minutes
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a/n - law sucks 💀
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