#pls i am ready to cry this moment
Note
Thinking about reader getting rejected by some guy and she gets drunk and loser nerd miguel is there to comfort her and she is like "miggy you are so much better than him!!" (She won't admit she said that when she is sober) and she is crying and saying embarrassing stuff she likes about miguel while he is trying his best to comfort her. Things like "i actually think the glasses are so cute" "i love how smart you are, always so helpful" and it escalates into things like "i love sitting on your face and seeing the glasses fog up" "your dick is big for a nerd, i love sucking you off" etc. And Miguel is like 😳
she is finally here!! had a blast writing this one 🤭
cw: drunk reader, reader gets rejected and gets shitfaced, miguel being a sweetie, unprotected sex, overstimulation, erm like pantie sniffing? 😭 idk, cunnilingus, creampie, squirting (because why wouldn’t there be it’s me whose writing this), slightly drunk sex (can be considered dubcon), switch miguel??, undercover feelings if u squint🕺🏽i think that’s it lmk if i miss smt. and as usual, not proofread ❤️ enjoy my luvvies
wc: 3.0k
your head was pounding. but that’s to be expected with the excessive amount of alcohol in your system paired with the booming bass of whatever song was playing at whatever club you were at.
you felt so disoriented. at the beginning of the night, you wouldn’t have shown up if you had known what was going to happen. you came out tonight with your sorority friends because you had your sights set on hobie brown. tall, lanky, and fucking gorgeous. all night, you had done your best to push your tits up in your skimpy dress and sway your hips to the song that had been playing at the club to no avail. he left you alone, feeling high and dry to hook up with one of your friends instead. seeing him make out with her in the shared booth you had all pitched in for bad made you feel slightly insecure. was there something wrong with you? you had chosen not to dignify that question with a verbal answer but rather with shots of tequila, and that had been 4 shots ago.
your head was spinning, and you felt so so warm in the club. in this moment you found yourself thinking of one thing only, miguel. you hated yourself for it. and when a mysterious double shot of vodka had appeared in front of you, the bartender saying some guy had payed for them with you, you downed them no question. the burn in your throat quieting the burn in your mind. but only temporarily. you can’t stop thinking about him. his curly brown hair, his plump lips, his cut nose, his eyes, and those glasses he wears. you find yourself missing him in this moment, yearning for him to make you feel better. you’re ready to go home.
you push yourself away from the bar counter, and the push sends you reeling backwards and onto your ass with an “oof!”. with the strobe lights, loud music, and moving bodies, you were nothing in the sea of movement and stimulation on the floor. you figure the floor is your best option at regaining some sense of orientation, so you pull your phone out and order yourself an uber home to the best of your ability. through your hazy vision, you open your messages, scrolling through your contacts until you find the one you’re looking for, under the name ‘four eyes’. without thinking, your thumbs start moving, and you’re pressing send periodically.
you figure you’re done, and you brace yourself to get up and navigate through the sea of bodies ahead of the exit.
in his dorm at his desk, miguel sat quietly studying for his upcoming molecular biology quiz, when his phone starts to buzz.
my love <3
1:22 am. — r y awsje
1:22 am. — awake
1:22 am. — my roon in 15
1:23 am. — pls
miguel looks at his phone, trying to decipher whatever gibberish you had been typing. he figures you mean to meet him at your dorm, a little escape between you two at this time of night wasn’t unusual, but never initiated like this. miguel bookmarks his page in his textbook before closing it, grabbing some water and ibuprofen with him before he makes his way to your dorm.
when he arrives, he sees you on the floor leaning against your door, barely awake. you perk up however at miguel’s footsteps, your eyes fluttering open and a small smile plastering across your face. “miguellll,” you exclaim, throwing your hands towards him. “dunno my room code. piggy back me!” you giggle, rather loudly at that. miguel smiles a bit, walking over briskly to shush you. “okay baby, but you gotta be quiet, yeah?” he smiles, taking you in so.. free. happy.
a smile graces your lips, eyes hazy and blinking, hair messy and unkept like the clothes you wore, but to miguel you were as beautiful as ever, even at your most unguarded. he watches you with a smile, knowing this will be the last time for a good while he’s going to see you like this. he kneels, placing an arm at your back, scooping under you arms, the other arm at the back of your knees. with a swiftness, he steps back up with you in his harms with no sweat, and as drunk as you are damn do you find it hot. your face burries itself in miguel’s pectoral, covered by his soft grey sweater.
you breathe him in quietly as your head the buttons to your room door beep and your handle twist somewhere distant. all you can think about is miguel. as drunk as you were, your eyes would always find the time to focus on him. the way butterflies erupted in your stomach as you saw him walk towards you in his plaid pyjama pants and his loose sweater, glasses atop his head. he looked tired as ever, probably busy studying quantum mechanics or something. yet, here you were in his string arms. miguel, miguel, miguel. you look up at him as he walks you to your bed, and you catch a look at his resting face. he naw tense and sharp, lips pursed, brows bushy and furrowed, his brown eyes sharp and attentive. you’ve never seen him like this. you like seeing him like this. your hand creeps up to his jaw, tracing the muscle and vein, in brief brushes as miguel finally sets you down on your bed.
you’re sat with your back parallel to the wall the length of your bed sits along, head leaning back and reeling in the coolness of the painted wall.
“you enjoy yourself back there?” he teases, smiling softly at you, beginning to undo your necklace clasp. you smile sheepishly, feeling warm and embarrassed you let yourself get caught staring and touching him like that. “s’okay. you know i love it when you touch me.”
and there it is. the sharpness and the bite in miguel that you’re not used to seeing, the miguel who makes your stomach burn with a look, makes your chest pound by saying things like ‘i love it when you touch me.’ he’s long gone from your neck, his nimble fingers at your wrists, unclamping your bracelets and slipping off your rings, placing an occasional kiss on your knuckles. and you sit in silence as he takes care of you, stripping you ever so slightly more bare than you were before, not just physically.
you watch and see the attentiveness in his moved, how he’s careful with you. he moves to take your shoes off next, kneeling as he does so. the begins to unbuckle one strap of your heel, focus built in his face as he does so. he pulls your shoe off, massages your foot, up to your ankle, up to your calf, stopping right as the burning you feel on your skin begins to pick up. you break the comfortable silence with the whisper of his name from your lips.
“yes, my love?” he hums, rubbing soft circles in your calves.
“you’re so good to me. make me really happy,” you murmur.
“yeah? you make me happy too.”
“not just that,” you begin, perking up a bit from your slumped posture. “you’re really smart. makes you really attractive.”
he keeps rubbing soft circles into your supple skin, but this time he’s looking up at you, a slight redness to his cheeks. adorable.
“you’re big n’strong too. carryin’ me like that to my bed,” you giggle. you lean forward, your face a few inches closer to miguel’s. “made my pussy fuckin’ wet,” you whisper at him, leaning back against the wall to watch him, a stunned look on his face. “my other shoes not gonna take itself off.”
miguel doesn’t let your comment phase him, at least beyond the physical sense, as he moves to take your other shoe off. and he repeats. unbuckle, massage, foot, ankle, calf, thigh- thigh? you watch miguel quietly, his hands rubbing and kneading into the meat of your lower thigh. higher and higher his hands creep, until they’re sitting right below the rolled-up hem of your dress. miguel looks up at you, waiting for a sign, an order. wordlessly, you let your legs spread apart.
miguel takes heed of your cue, and his hands gently trail up your thigh and split at its junction, each of his large hands latched onto your hips. he abruptly pulls you forward, and you let out a small squeak. miguel pays you no mind, his eyes on the prize present between your legs. he burries his strong nose into your clothed vagina, rubbing at your clit a bit and he inhales, moaning at the smell. your stomach tightens a bit and you feel both embarrassed and aroused at his display.
“smell as good as you taste.”
you bite your lip and snake your hand up to the thick head of hair in between your legs, pushing him closer to your panty covered wetness. “quit teasin’ me, you breathe out, miguel’s strong nose prodding at your clit. at your expression he moves to lick a stripe up your pussy, licking up the taste of you from your soaked underwear. you let out a soft exhale, feeling sated at the kitten licks miguel gives you. he trails up your clothed wetness once more, and moves the gusset of your panty to the side, exposing you to him.
ever anxious, you hold in a breath, ready and waiting for miguel. after a beat he finally places his mouth on you, delving between your folds and training up between them to reach your clit, which he sucks into his mouth hard. you can’t help but let out a moan, praising him for his work. “f-feels so good, migs. keep goin’ for me.”
and he does, licking and sucking and thrusting up into you until you’re writhing writhin his grasp and you find yourself on the cusp of your orgasm. that is until he pulls away. he’s sat on his haunches, mouth wet and face flushed, lust heavy in his eyes at he looks at you.
“please, mistress, can i make you feel good?”
you lean forward and grab him by his sweater collar, pulling him up to your bed, his face inches from yours. your lips ghost his as you whisper, “you always make me feel good.” you pull him in for a kiss, your lips hot and heavy against miguel’s, swirling your tongues between each others. when you feel void of breath, you break up the kiss, taking a moment to look at miguel until you push him back against the bed, throwing your leg over his hips so that you were straddling him.
“wanna know something else?” you begin, leaning your head down to kiss his cheek. “you always make me cum. with that big dick of yours.” you grind your hips against his, feeling him throb against your pussy even through his sweats. “you always make me cum, even make me wet the bed and squirt. no other man has done that to me.” you continue kissing and suckung his neck, being sure to leave the unmistakable mark of hickeys down his jugular.
miguel moans, his arms tensing and hips jerking up at the sensation and you giggle a bit. “want you to fuck me and make me cum with that dick of yours. hard.” you leave him with your words as you get off him, stumbling a bit, the remaining alcohol in your blood making itself present. you watch miguel, still laying against your bed and you strip for him. you pull your tight dress up and over your head, shimmying it off you until you’re only in your panties. you wore no bra.
at the sight, miguel gulps and raises off the bed, ridding himself of his pants and sweater in record time, until he’s naked in front of you. you peel your panties off of you, throwing them at miguel’s face as you walk over to him and push him back into the position the two of you were in once more. you’re sat on top of miguel’s hard length, laughing at his eyes peeking through the gusset of your lacy underwear. “bet you like havin’ my panties on your face,” you tease, running your hands up his chest, ghosting his hard nipples. he lets out a sharp inhale and you roll your eyes, grabbing your underwear off of miguel’s face. “open,” you command, and his jaw unhinges without a spare moment. you ball up the lace fabric in your hands and shove it in his mouth, biting your lip at seeing miguel like this.
“you’re so fucking sexy, especially now that you can’t talk.”
you decide you’re done teasing, ready to finally satisfy yourself, and you lift you hips up. “put it in yourself,” you tell miguel, and a muffled sigh comes out of his mouth as he grabs his cock, aligning it with your wetness. miguel’s eyes close and his hips jerk up, his fat tipping pushing through you. miguel grabs your hips, squeezing and his keeps going, pushing the entirety of his length within you. you moan, the stretch burning so good along with the slight rush of liquor running through you. you feel hot and lightheaded, and good. so good. when miguel is fully sheathed in you, you don’t give him a moments rest before you plant your hands on his soft pecks and push your hips up to slam them back down.
miguel let’s out muffled curses, and your breaths become to come out faster and shorter as your hips keeping going up and down. “fuckin’ love this cock. s’all mine. don’t ever wanna share you,” you moan out. miguel’s feet plant into your bed and he matches your thrusts, his hands pulling your hips down as he thrusts up into you, causing you to squeal. he’s hitting you deep and hard and you don’t know how long you can take it like this. in the midst of it all, one of miguel’s hands leave your hips to make its way to your clit, rubbing your swollen bud. your body tenses and shakes, and your feel your orgasm build itself up quickly.
“g-gonna cum,” you moan out, looking at miguel. you already find him looking at you, his face in utter ecstasy. your underwear in his mouth is darkened from his saliva, his forehead covered in a light sheen of sweat, his hair strewn across your sheets. he makes your stomach clench, and you feel yourself shake from your orgasm. miguel doesn’t let up, he’s still fucking you and prodding your clit. he’s determined to make you squirt, just like you told him to.
“oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, i’m- ah!” you babble, your brain beginning to fog. your first orgasm doesn’t even let up when you feel a second one hit you, and a groan leave miguel at you tightening and leaking around him. “h-hurts to good, please don’t stop baby please please please.”
he has you begging, the pleasure feeling too much. he’s still not done yet, his determination to make you squirt keeping him going. he flips you both, so that you’re laying against the bed, with him kneeling above you. you’re in such a deep haze that you don’t even realize until you hear miguel speak. he took your panties out of his mouth.
“gonna soak me? i need it, baby. you can do it, huh?” you hear him in your ear. your legs are over his shoulders and he’s pistoning into you and you just can’t. your head falls to the side when you feel a pressure build in your abdomen and you think you did it. liquid spurts from you, soaking you sheets and miguel’s stomach, and he lets out the deepest groan at the feeling. he’s still fucking you, hard thrusts and skin slapping. you feel light and you don’t know how much more you can take until miguel comes, and your hand weakly pushes at his stomach.
“move your hand, baby.”
you moan, the overstimulation becoming too much, and miguel assures you he’s close, almost there baby, hold on for me, yeah? and you do, you hold on even though you feel like his dick is in your throat and you’re gonna pass out if he keeps fucking you like this. you swear your prayers are answered when his thrusts slow, his moaning becoming erratic and loud.
“fuck baby, m’cumming. so good for me, mommy, so fuckin’ good.”
his warm seed fills you up and his thrust still, your back arches at the feeling and a small stream of liquid gushes from you again with a heavy moan. “fuck baby, you still squirting f’me” miguel groans. he pulls out of you slowly, the feeling causing you to shake a bit. when he’s finally removed from yoh, you close your eyes, feeling a kiss to your forehead and sleep pulling a cover over you.
the next morning, you wake up with a blistering headache and a soreness to your body that just pisses you off, more than the sun peeking through your blinds. you groan as you get up, your sheets falling off of you and you see you’re in a grey sweater. huh.
you turn to your bedside table and see that it’s 10:37 am, with a glass of water and two white pills next to it. you reach for them when you hear your room door open, and none other than miguel o’hara enters your room. he greets you with a smile and you scowl at him, noticing the bag of fast food in his hands.
“brought breakfast for you. thought you would, um, be hungry.” he says. you look at him, the scowl leaving your face, and you feel the itchings of a smile poking at your face. if miguel notices, he doesn’t say anything, but he drops the fast food bag on your bed and kisses your forehead, before he disappears off into your bathroom somewhere.
you fucking can’t stand him.
#miguel o'hara#miguel o’hara drabble#miguel o’hara x reader#miguel o’hara x you#miguel atsv smut#miguel o’hara smut#miguel o’hara fanfiction#miguel o’hara x y/n#sub miguel o'hara#<nerd!miguel3#you’ve got mail 💌
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love in photos
summary - a sum up of love on tour with a few instagram posts
word count - 1k
pairing - boyfriend!harry x reader
liked by annetwist and 727,937 others
yourinstagram goodbye love on tour, you will always be famous <3🤍
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harryfan1 THESE PHOTO YN HOW ARE YOU ALIVE
harryfan2 can’t believe harry spotted you in the crowd twice🙄
yourinstagram @/harryfan2 ik it’s almost like he loves me or something?!
harrystyles liked this comment
harryfan3 yn. respectfully. pls stop. i am now in tears.
jeffezoff Post some more!
harryfan4 i remember him wanting to hug you so bad yn omg🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
•••••••••••••••••
“Babe…” Harry laughed at you crying.
“What?” You laughed back through your tears.
Harry moved from the end of the couch he was currently sat on and further over to you. He carefully picked you up and sat you on his lap, tucking the plush blanket back over you both.
You held your phone in your hand, running your finger through the photos from Love On Tour.
The tears stemmed from reminiscing of a tour that ended only five days ago. You couldn’t help yourself though. Love On Tour had brought you some of the happiest years and memories of your life and it was just sad it was now all over.
“C’mon, love. You know I’m going to cry if you keep crying.” Harry’s facial hair tickled your cheek with how close you were sitting.
You made sure Harry could see your phone screen as you continued to scroll.
“I know, but, i’m just emotionally reflecting.”
Harry budged your finger out of the way and paused to stop on a photo. He clicked on it and it immediately made you both laugh.
It was a photo of Harry creeping you behind you and scaring you. Your face is one of pure terror and Harry looks like he’s ready to pounce.
“You were such a twat for that.” You chuckled, tapping the screen and holding to make it a live photo.
Harry could be heard yelling and then you let out an ear piercing scream. So many people turned to look at you, probably because you sounded in pain. Then you collapsed to the floor with your head in your hands.
“It was Harryween though.” Harry justified.
You shook your head and continued to scroll. A few of the photos were ones you had screenshotted off your secret Twitter account. Fans constantly snuck to take photos of you and Harry, some of which actually turned out very cute sometimes.
You clicked on one of you and Harry watching Madi Diaz as the opener for Harry, back on his US leg of the tour.
Harry was stood behind you with his arms draped over your shoulders. Your hands held onto his and you both swayed to the music playing. Harry had his baseball cap on, but it didn’t stop fans noticing him.
“That’s a sweet photo.” Harry said, kissing your cheek.
“Mhm. Thank your fans for that one.”
“I always loved watching the opening acts with you.”
“Yeah? Why?” You turned your head to face his.
Harry couldn’t choose where to look, because of how much he loved everything about you. He watched your eyes follow his as they ran between your freckles and lips to your eyes and dimples.
“You always calmed me. Calmed the nerves, before a show. Was always more at peace after spending a few moments with just you.”
You smiled, not needing to say anything more, before leaning up and kissing his soft lips. He had been waiting for you to do so and cupped your cheek gently to guide you the way he wanted to kiss you.
Your cheeks flushed at how much you enjoyed kissing him, but you had to pull away before anything got too heated. Tonight you just wanted calm.
After getting back to your photos, you and Harry decided it might be fun to feed the fans and just post lots of content from tour - especially backstage.
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yourinstagram i’ve decided love on tour isn’t over until i stop posting hslot content. so here is a tiny instagram dump of some backstage shenanigans. we have h putting on his rings. a couple photos of me and h (tehe). and a photo of h that he sent me that i thought you might all like. 🫶✨🌙
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harryfan1 NO YOU DIDN’T OMG QUEEN YN
harryfan2 this is why yn is harrys best girlfriend
harrystyles You’re trouble, you.
yourinstagram @/harrystyles why are you using punctuation like that?
harryfan3 i adore their relationship so much omg
harryfan4 the drought is un-droughting thanks to our saviour miss yn
••••••••••
“BABE!” Harry shouted.
“Yes?” You said sheepishly, hiding under the bed sheets as Harry stormed into the room with a smirk on his face.
He shook his head before, rising to stand on the mattress and loom over you.
“You are…”
“Amazing? Perfect? Beautiful?” You filled in the blanks for him, trying to get out of this silly situation.
“Well, obviously.” Harry rolled his eyes and mumbled quietly under his breath. “That photo is trending worldwide.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lifting the sheets higher over your head with a giggle.
In reality you knew exactly what photo he was on about because you had only posted it twenty minutes ago. It was impressive it was already worldwide trending.
A shirtless photo of Harry was just what the world needed during this time of crisis - a.k.a. the post tour blues.
“Oh, no? Really?” He acted along.
“Maybe you could recreate it?”
“Oh, you’d love that wouldn’t you.”
Harry knelt down on the mattress and then proceeded to flop on top of you. You made a noise as he did and laughed as you struggled to regain the breath he had just winded out of you.
“Harrryy..” You laughed in complaint.
“That’s the last time I send you a shirtless picture.”
“No!”
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yourinstagram here’s another daily hslot dump. unfortunately this one does not contain any shirtless photos of harry :(
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harryfan1 SHES SO REAL
harryfan2 this is everything i want this so bad
annetwist Lovely photos❤️
harris_reed My baby angels
harrystyles I love you🩷
#harry styles#harry styles x reader#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles x y/n#harry styles fanfic#ask finelinevogue#harry blurb#finelinevogue#harry styles concept#harry oneshot#harry styles blurbs#harry styles fic rec#harry styles boyfriend fic#harry styles love on tour#love on tour blurbs
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hi! how u doin? could u pls do some angst hcs for Simon?? like how difficult the relationship is for him and his partner, what they would argue about, how the arguments are and whatnot yk i just luv the way u write him it's perfect♥️💋
Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x gn!reader
Warnings: Angst with little comfort
Summary: Struggles with dating Simon
A/N: All the Simon requests in my inbox rn (there are only three) <3
Word Count: 1.5K (Not Edited)
The biggest struggle for you and Simon will always be the time he spends away on deployment. Especially in the beginning of your relationship where insecurity is at an all time high. You always hate when he’s away, the house feeling desolate and cold with his absence. You’re constantly anxious, scared and impatient for the next time he comes through that front door just to leave again. It was even worse when he was gone when something important happened, let it be a wedding or a funeral. It broke your heart that he ended up being away when these special moments occurred.
You hated how often you showed up to family and friend events, at least one friend asking where Simon was and joking about how you must have scared him off. An extended family member whispering in your ear about how “men like that” only stayed away because something, someone, better made them want to stay. It only served to make your unstable, fragile relationship strain more.
On bad days where you needed comfort or someone to lean on, you grew the slightest bit resentful. It felt one-sided when it came to comfort. You had to always wait around for Simon: Wait until he comes back, wait until he’s ready to talk, wait for him to ask or he’ll feel ambushed, wait until he initiates the physical comfort that he never offers. But it seemed like you were always there for him. You were the one ready to give him kind words when he felt down, you were the one ready with a cup of his favorite tea and a good movie to distract him, you were the one that always had a hand or a shoulder or a hug prepared at a moment’s notice. So, why couldn’t he do the same for you?
Relationships are extremely stressful for Simon. It’s something he was to learn and he can’t seem to pick it up correctly. He always seems to do something wrong. He always forgets an important date even though he has it written down in his notes app, he gets your favorite things mixed up with the things you hate, he’s so unavailable all the time that he doesn’t know what to do when he isn’t. As time goes on, it’s easier to remember these things. He learns mistakes need to be made in order to learn.
It doesn’t help that his horrible coping mechanisms seemed to find a spot in his relationship. It’s like an ugly stain on a carpet. So, when things get too hard or they become too overwhelming he does what he does best, hides from it. He puts up a barrier. He throws a rug or a piece of furniture over the stain to hide it away. That’s also the exact thing he does in the beginning of the relationship when something goes wrong. You guys fight? He has no idea what you’re talking about because he wasn’t present. Must have been between you and a friend while he was on deployment. Something he did makes you feel insecure about the relationship? All you’re getting in response is, “Maybe you just aren’t mature enough to date a military man.”
With Simon you are very familiar with the concept that words (or lack of words) hurt. He makes you feel stupid without even trying. You hate arguing with Simon because the two of you don’t argue, you argue. In the beginning of the relationship, Simon doesn’t say anything when you confront him. Well,nothing but, “It’s just the way I am”. You argue with him about how distant he is when he comes home? It’s just the way I am. You get angry because all you wanted was at least a bit of comfort after a shitty day that ended up with you crying on the way home and Simon didn’t even ask you what was wrong? It’s just the way I am. After arguments like that, arguments that always end with Maybe you just aren’t mature enough to date a military man, you think maybe he’s right.
Simon hates himself for the way he treats you. He really does. You deserve better, he should be better. But no matter how hard he tries he can’t. He can’t bring himself to comfort you, or touch you, or love you correctly. It makes him want to find one of his military knives and stab himself where his heart is to see if it’s working correctly. As the relationship progresses, he gets better and better at being your dream man. But sometimes he has moments where he feels like he’s back at square one. Maybe, he thinks, I need a new heart.
Feelings are slightly taboo in your relationship in the beginning. Simon never wants to talk about his and you feel like you can’t talk about yours. But in the late nights, sometime after Simon has had a glass of liquor to sip on during a movie, the two of you will talk in slow whispers. One of those nights Simon asks you how to love you correctly. He asks you why you haven’t left him yet. You shrug and joke, “I guess I’m more mature now.” He will thank every star he sees that you are so understanding when he gives you no real reason to. He thanks every spec of dust that he’s learned how to do the same for you.
He’s protective of you. He feels like he needs to be. He’s lost so many people dear to him, that he’s terrified he’ll lose you too. So he’s a little overbearing in the beginning. You weren’t initially allowed to pick him up at the airport when he got back, paranoid some spy would see the two of you together and you’d become a target. Wouldn't let you meet anyone on his squad, your name never once spoken around base. Refused to bring anything of yours with him when he went away, scared a stray hair or partial fingerprint would endanger your existence if it ended up in the wrong hands. You didn’t even get one of his dog tags until a few months into the relationship because he didn’t want any physical evidence tying you to him. He only let up after you had told him how insecure it made you feel. How, even though you knew that it wasn’t his intention, he made you feel like he was ashamed to be dating you. Like he wanted to keep you a secret because he didn’t want to be seen with you. God knows how many past relationships did the exact same thing. But, he’s trying to be your dream man. He relents and stuffs one of your favorite pens in his pocket the next time he leaves. When he gets to base, Soap’s first question is about how you’re doing.
One of the largest struggles is getting Simon used to family life and civilian life again. He hasn’t had a real family in so long, he doesn’t remember how it feels like. He’s a brooding mess the first few times you bring him to a family gathering for the holidays. He’s off to the side, keeping conversation curt. One of your aunts whispered in your ear maybe it was better off when you came alone and he was on deployment. That causes a big fight, full of yelling and defending his honor. On the ride home you are fuming, getting even angrier when Simon apologizes for the way he was behaving. He didn’t want to embarrass you in front of your family. You tell him that’s ridiculous, that he was nothing to be sorry for. Your smile returns slightly when the image of him playing with your nieces and nephews flashes in your head.
One night, when Simon and you lay in bed before he leaves in the morning, he holds you close to his chest and plays with your hair. He mumbles soft words in your ear, rubbing the skin of your lower back softly. “Thank you for staying with me. I’m sorry for all the times I said you weren’t mature enough to date a military man. I was just scared.” You only hum, kissing his shoulder lovingly in response. He goes on a tangent, apologizing for all the things he did in the past that hurt you. He brings up some things you remember vividly, and things you don’t remember at all. At the end of it, he pulls away slightly and turns to his bedside drawer. He pulls it open, a silver band catching the moon’s light before he holds it between the two of you. He doesn’t ask, and you don’t answer. You hold your hand out, and he slips it onto your finger. In the morning, you hand him his thermos of tea and give him a quick kiss before he walks out and door. Even though his heart feels like it’s about to burst, Simon’s sure his heart is working just fine.
Do these suck lol??
#cherry's requests🍒#simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley headcanons#simon ghost riley#ghost simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#cod ghost#ghost call of duty#ghost mw2#ghost cod#call of duty#cod x reader#cod mwii#cod simon riley#cod mw2#mw2
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Designated Person | 9
Pairing: Francisco “Catfish” Morales x F!Reader
Chapter 9: Where The Wild Things Are
Rating: Explicit (18+ only)
Word Count: 8.6k+
Tags / Warnings: alternating pov, infidelity, past romantic & sexual relationship, angst, food mention, jealousy, alcohol & alcoholism, lying, conflict avoidance, crying, internal conflict, birthday party, a low-key dudes rule moment (bros! bros! bros!), tried my hardest hardest with Spanish but I am a white girl I’m sorry if its wrong pls let me know, a lot of dialogue like so much dialogue fuck, children, toxic relationships just bad all around
Notes: WELL HI, long time no see! I know it’s been over 6 months since I’ve updated. I went on a warpath with another series (Psychomanteum—it’s finished if you wanna check it out). But I’m back to force these two dummies to walk through hellfire 💘
[ Previous Chapter ][ Series Masterlist ]
———————————————————————————
Nothing seems right.
For what has to be the hundredth time, you sift through the sparse collection of t-shirts and dresses hanging in your closet. Each time you push a hanger aside to consider a potential outfit, your brain falls into the same pattern.
First, you wonder if Frankie would like it. Granted, if you showed up wearing a cardboard box he’d still want to fuck you.
You want him to like it more than that, though.
You want him to see you and get all weak in the knees. You want him to look at you in that way he does sometimes. That soft, magnetic look that tugs at every part of you. The one that argues against logic and speaks to intuition instead. That can't-eat, can't-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over-the-fence, World Series kind of look.
After considering this entirely reasonable and attainable goal, you picture yourself wearing the clothes through Angie’s eyes.
You dissect each potential outfit as she would. This dress too low cut, that one too frumpy, the other too short. A critical chorus of slut slut slut plays in the back of your head, accented by the memory of her manicured hands wrapped around your throat, the growl she let out when she squeezed around your windpipe.
“You little slut, I will fucking kill you.”
Throughout this whirlwind of turmoil, snippets from this morning rise to the surface and drown out everything else.
Frankie’s lips on yours, hungry and certain. His strong hands on your body, digging into your skin. The way he talked to you, voice low and strained—Whose pussy is this?
Every time these words repeat, your heart hammers in your chest. Tingles trickle out from between your legs and work up your spine.
The time before this, right after he moved in, when you fucked on the couch… you felt dirty afterwards. It sent you into a spiral of self-guilt that gnawed away at you for days. It reminded you of how sex was towards the end last time. Like you could have been anyone. Like he needed something to make him feel alive, and you were just the most ready and willing participant.
But it felt different this time.
Intimate in a way it hasn’t been in so long. It felt like an act of something bigger and stronger, like he needed you specifically. Not the rush of endorphins. Not just the heat of another person. Not a substitute for the love his wife wouldn’t give him. It felt like he needed you and nothing else would sate him.
“I won’t do that to you again, mariposa, I promise. I’ll fix it, I promise I’ll fix it, ok?”
Right about here is when indecision ties your brain off in a knot that seizes the production of valuable output.
Then you return to yourself, staring into the closet like it’s fucking Narnia, and slide the hanger aside to do it all over again.
—
Frankie collapses into a patio chair with a groan, running a hand through his sweat-soaked hair before replacing his cap, then tilts his head up towards the blazing sun and closes his eyes.
When he trekked through the Andes with his team, there were nights where he felt the cold so deep in his bones, he wondered if he would ever be able to get warm again.
Right now is the opposite of that.
Right now he would give up fistfuls of cash to feel that bone-deep freeze.
He casts a longing glance at the cooler and fantasizes about drinking a cold beer. That psssch-ahsound it would make when he opened the tab. He imagines the condensation cooling his heated skin and the alcohol calming his fried nerves.
Fuck, that sounds perfect.
Through the open window to the dining room, he can hear Angie and her sister Marta gossiping to each other, talking about how so-and-so is dating what’s his face again and blah blah blah. His ears perk up when Marta segues into their personal life.
“Speaking of people getting back together… How are things with you and Frankie?”
Angie doesn’t say anything, but must make a face at her sister because she follows the question up by giggling, “What, can I not ask?”
“Ay, Marta. No seas metiche.”
A beat of silence passes. Marta must non-verbally pry, because Angie speaks again, quieter this time.
“We’ll see.” Then quickly, almost defensively, she adds, “He’s getting his act together, you know. He quit drinking, and he’s doing this parole program. It seems like… it seems like he’s trying.”
“Mmm. Is he still living with that girl? Su amante?”
Frankie knows Angie well enough to know she rolls her eyes in response.
Marta tsks, but any further conversation is cut off by a sudden commotion of squealing and bickering.
He looks down at his watch, reading 1240, and guesses that Angie’s friend Carmen arrived with her five children.
His eyes clamp shut and he fantasizes about drinking a beer. Maybe three. Hell, make it ten. Ten would do just fine. Ten would anesthetize him just enough to let him clear his head and make this whole ordeal manageable.
“Just get through today,” he tells himself, “Just one more goddamn day, then you can be done with this fucking charade.”
The backdoor opens, releasing a burst of chaotic noise. Angie and Carmen step out, and he stands at attention.
“Oh wow, look at all this,” Carmen tells Angie, “Damn girl, you really went all out, didn’t you?”
“We don’t really know what the situation will be next year, with Frankie and everything,” Angie’s eyes flick to him, and she shrugs, “So I figured, make it memorable. For all of us.”
“Sure,” Carmen nods, concern creasing her brow, then she acknowledges Frankie with a quick head-to-toe scan, “Francisco, how’re you doing?”
“Better than I deserve,” he smirks, and gestures to the gift bag hanging off her wrist, “Let me take that for you. Want anything to drink?”
She hands off the present and glances at Angie, then back to Frankie, “Can I get a beer?”
“Sure,” he nods to Angie, “How about you, amor?”
“I’ll take a beer, too.”
“Two beers coming up,” Frankie calls behind him while descending the stairs.
As he walks to the 10’ x 20’ white canopy tent, he tries to eavesdrop, but the two women talk to each other in hushed tones. He has no doubt it’s about him, though, because he hears Carmen exclaim, “Oh shit, really?” then, quieter but still distinguishable, “Good for you, mamá.”
After dropping the gift bag on the designated table, Frankie goes to the cooler to grab two cans of beer and a bottle of water, then returns to the deck, where Angie and Carmen both lean against the railing. They both murmur a thanks when he hands them their drinks.
He rubs between her shoulder blades, “Need anything else?”
“A fucking Xanax,” she jokes while cracking her beer open. He watches foam bubble up from the mouth of the can and his pulse surges green with envy. She takes a long sip, then sighs, “Mmm let’s see. Food is done, Mamá and Marta are bringing everything out. Your mom should be here with the cake any minute. You got everything set up in the tent?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Alright, well,” she takes another swig and shrugs, “Wanna get the slip ‘n’ slide going? We can get the kiddos changed into their suits.”
“You got it.”
He starts away, but she grabs his shirt to stop him.
When he turns back to her, eyebrows raised in question, her golden brown eyes meet his, then drop to his lips, “Thank you.”
His hand finds her waist and he nods, “Not a problem.”
She kisses him, and he kisses her back, thinking of you—always fucking thinking of you— as he tells himself: One more day.
—
Leah picks up on the second ring.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Tell me I shouldn’t go to this party.”
She releases a big sigh that makes you grimace, then says, “Tell me you’re not actually thinking of going.”
You glance up at the Morales residence through your windshield, sinking down into your seat when you spot Benny, Will, and Dani making their way up the driveway.
“I’m outside in my car.”
Leah is quiet for a moment before she asks, “Do you want to go?”
“Yes and no,” you watch the Millers open the door and go inside the house, “I want to see Sarah, and I wanna be there for Frankie, just because… I don’t know, everything, but…”
“But Angie?”
You nod, casting your eyes down to your hands to pick at the frayed cuticles, “I’m afraid she’s going to say something or do something to retaliate against me.”
“You did have an affair with her husband—”
“I’m well aware,” you snip.
The silence that follows wrings guilt from your stomach. A burning sensation works up your throat behind your eyes, so you pinch them shut and hang your head.
“Fuck, sorry. You’re right. She has every right to despise me. I deserve it. I shouldn’t go, it’s stupid.”
Your words come out all pathetic and warbled by tears, but you continue anyway.
“I feel so torn. I care about them a lot and I wanna be there. I want it to be better so that… fuck. I don’t know. Nevermind.”
“Why do you want it to be better?”
“It’s stupid.”
“No, I want you to tell me.”
You take a deep, shaky breath, tilting your head up towards the drooping ceiling of your car. The answer pulses through your body and tingles on the tip of your tongue. If you speak it you might shatter to dust.
Instead, you offer up a consolation prize to distract her.
“I did something I shouldn’t have,” you whisper, then swing your head down to stare at your steering wheel, “I… had sex with him.”
Leah snorts, “I fucking knew it.”
“Shut up, you did not,” you scoff, “It just happened this morning.”
“Rach owes me $10.”
“You bet that—God, you are the worst.”
You hang up on her, then stare at your phone for a few seconds before sending a text to Frankie.
< ME:
< Are you sure I should come? I feel nervous
A few unresponsive seconds go by before you flip the visor down to inspect your reflection in the mirror. Not terrible. Some black smudges around your eyes. Could use some lipstick.
You remedy these problems while trying not to think too hard about what you’re about to do, lying to yourself in hopes that you can somehow warp the truth.
This will be fine.
—
By the time Frankie gets the hose hooked up to the slip ‘n’ slide, his mother- and sister-in-law are setting the last few food items out on the long folding table under the tent.
Two of Carmen’s sons dash across the deck in their swimsuits. As he passes them on the stairs, he ruffles the older one’s scraggly dark brown hair, calling after them, “Soda and water in the cooler if you boys are thirsty.”
They holler an acknowledgment as Frankie makes his way inside.
The relief of stepping into cool, conditioned air quickly dissipates as the commotion hits him.
At least a dozen conversations meld together in this wall of indistinguishable sound. He can’t quite focus on any of the vaguely familiar faces or isolate one single voice from the warble of people talking.
A heavy, frantic pounding starts in his chest. His hands start to tingle. Noises disappear completely for a second, replaced by a high-pitched ringing in his ears.
Jesus fucking Christ, I’m losing it.
He pulls a chair out from the dining room table and sits down, praying nobody notices him clench his eyes closed to inhale a deep, wide breath.
Then another.
Then another.
Everything starts to come back into focus, and he tunes into someone asking, “Fish, you ok?”
He startles when a broad palm settles between his shoulder blades. Looking towards the source, he finds Will’s dusty blue eyes studying him with concern.
“Shit,” Frankie mutters, running a hand over his face before he clearing his throat and standing, “Sorry, yeah. Think I got too much heat or something.” He gives his friend a quick, one-armed hug, “Good to see you, man.”
When Will parts ways with Frankie, he gives him a look that says he doesn’t buy it for a second, but doesn’t push the subject.
His wife, Dani, approaches with a cautious smile, “Frankie, good to see you.”
“Good to see you, too” Frankie gives her a hug, “Thanks for coming.” They separate and he asks Will, “Benny here yet?”
“Yeah,” he smirks, jerking his head towards the living room, “Shooting the shit with your mom.”
“Figures,” Frankie chuckles and shakes his head, “I gotta go make my rounds, but, uhh,” he gestures from the gift box in the crook of Will’s arm to the back door, “There’s a gift table outside. Food and drinks and all that, help yourselves.”
“Catch up later, yeah?” Will nods.
Frankie mirrors the action as a few waist-high kids race past, budging in front of them when Will opens the door.
He notices a cluster of aimless partygoers lingering between the dining and living room, and starts directing the halted human traffic out to the backyard. It prods them into action, thinning out the crowded common area as he makes his way to the couch, where he finds his mom sitting with Sarah in her lap and Benny at her side. Benny says something to Sarah that makes her and her grandmother giggle.
“Is this guy bothering you?” Frankie asks, unable to stop the smile from spreading across his face.
“Francisco!”
She passes Sarah to Benny and struggles to get to her feet.
“Christ, mamá, let me help you” he mutters while taking her well-worn hands in his to pull her upright.
She’s always been a woman of small stature, barely measuring up to his shoulders once the growth spurts petered out and left him as tall as he’d always be. But each time he sees her, she seems to have shrunk a little bit more.
As soon as she steadies herself, she kisses his cheek, then pulls him down into a surprisingly tight embrace, telling him, “I missed you so much, mijo.”
“Missed you too, Ma.”
She pulls back from the hug, but holds onto his arms to look him over, “How have you been?”
“Fine,” he nods, looking away when her keen dark eyes narrow, “What about you, hmm? How was the drive?”
“Bien bien,” she waves off his questions and takes a step back to smile at the birthday girl, “She’s getting so big, Pancho. Such a pretty dress.”
Sarah grabs at the puffy hem of her skirt and giggles at the attention.
Frankie snorts in admiration at his daughter, then asks her, “You wanna go see your party, princesa?”
“Yes!”
He looks at Benny, “I gotta see if Ang needs me to do anything, do you wanna…?”
“Escort these lovey ladies?” Benny winks at Julieta, “Shit, I’d love to.”
“Jesus Christ,” Frankie mutters, then tells Sarah, “Go with Uncle Benny, I’ll be there in a minute, ok?”
She jumps off Benny’s lap and runs to the back door, leveraging her weight against the knob. It swings open and she escapes, sending Benny chasing after her, laughing, “Hey, wait up!”
Julieta starts after them just as Sarah’s bedroom door opens, and two little girls come charging towards the back door. Carmen and Angie trail behind, the former carrying a baby tucked into her side, the latter looking around with a puzzled expression pasted to her face.
“Everyone outside?” Angie asks her husband, slowing to a stop a few feet away from him while Carmen continues outside.
“Yeah. I, uhh, got the slip ‘n’ slide set up, all the food is out—anything else you need me to do?”
“Is your girl here?”
She smirks and tilts her head at him, like she’s joking or teasing, but the humor doesn’t reach her eyes.
His skittish heart skips in his chest.
Sensing a trap, Frankie searches her face and shakes his head like he doesn’t understand.
Angie raises an eyebrow at him, “Don’t act like you don’t know who I’m talking about.”
So fucking sick of this.
“Whatever,” he blinks, “No. I haven’t seen her yet. Anything else?”
The forced amusement immediately drops from her face and she stomps outside, slamming the door closed behind her.
He takes a deep breath, pulling his hat up to run a hand through his hair, then glances at his watch.
1308
He shakes some of the nervous energy from his fingertips and starts to pace the living room.
What if you decided not to come?
Honestly, it would make today much easier. He could just go out there and play his role. Put on his mask and blame his disposition on the ongoing legal battle. His mother, wife, and friends, they’d be none the wiser.
Something inside him lurches at the thought.
Suddenly and very clearly, he understands that if you don’t show, nothing will change. He will drive this ship into the ground.
As if on cue, the doorbell rings.
He jogs down the steps, swings the door open, and there you are, wearing a pretty floral sundress and a nervous smile.
“Hey,” he backs up to allow you entry.
“Hi,” your smile grows wider, and you step past him as you enter the house, “Long time no see.”At the foot of the stairs, you turn to face him, “Where’s the party?”
“Backyard.”
“Oh.”
When you glance down at his mouth, one hundred butterflies start chittering away at his stomach. He licks his lips and notices himself gravitating towards you. It doesn’t help that you’re doing it, too. The subtle way your body bows in his direction, inching so close he can smell the bright burst of your perfume and the damp musk of your sweat.
“Is everyone out there?”
“Pretty sure,” his eyes flick to the vacant upstairs, then back to you, “Why?”
Just an inch away, you clamp a grin closed and shrug, “No reason.”
“Uh huh,” he raises an eyebrow, daring to rest his hand on your waist. The contact floods his body with a hot, thudding pulse he can taste.
Searching his face, you slide your palm over his heart. Beneath your touch, the muscle pounds at its seams.
Against his better judgment, he leans in to capture your lips in his. Warmth spreads out from his chest through his limbs. You hook a hand behind his neck and pull him closer, your body curving flush against his.
Only hours have gone by since he last saw you, but it feels like months. It’s like that with you. Timeless when you’re together and an eternity when you’re apart.
Pulling back, you look at the floor and shake your head, “Sorry.”
“For what?”
“We shouldn’t, umm,” you swallow hard, shaking your head again as you glance upstairs, “Here, now, you know…”
He glances at the back door, “You’re right. We should get to the party.“
“Yeah,” you take a big step back and clear your lungs with a deep breath, then hold up your gift bag, “Where should I put this?”
“Right this way—”
“Wait, look at me,” you chuckle, tugging at his hand.
He faces you, asking, “What?”
You cup his cheek and lick the pad of your thumb, bringing it to his bottom lip, “Lipstick.”
Your brow furrows in concentration, tongue poking out the corner of your mouth as you scrub off the evidence.
It’s kind of adorable, the way in which you do this. Doting, almost. Reminds him of the times Mamá would catch him with a dirty face in public and try to make him more presentable.
Briefly, he pictures you as the matriarch of a rowdy crew of children. Driving a minivan to school drop-offs and extracurricular activities and family outings. It suits you.
He can’t stop his lips from curving into a smile.
“What?” you grin, eyes flicking to his.
“Nothing,” he murmurs as you tilt his face around and inspect him. “Better?”
“Better,” you nod, “How about me?”
He pinches your chin and looks you over, correcting a smudge before telling you, “All clear. You ready?”
You give a half-hearted shrug, looking around at the ground, then ask, “Your wife isn’t gonna like… yell at me in front of everyone or pelt me with produce, right? This isn’t an elaborate revenge prank?”
“Is that what all the tomatoes are for? Shit,” he teases, earning a chuckle and an eye roll from you. “No, but really. She agreed to be nice.”
“Ok,” you nod, “So I’m like allowed to talk to you and everything without worrying she’ll try to murder me?”
Frankie snorts, “She wouldn’t murder you—”
“She has literally told me ‘I will fucking kill you.’”
“That was—” he shakes his head, then brings his hands to your shoulders and stares into your eyes, “It’s gonna be fine, mariposa. We’re gonna go bullshit with people and eat some food, and then we’re gonna home and watch a stupid fucking movie. Ok?”
You laugh, dropping your gaze for a moment before returning with a bashful smile, “Ok.”
—
As you make your way down the food table, piling tamales and Spanish rice and fresh fruit on a flimsy paper plate, you feel eyes on the back of your head. Whether it’s just one set or ten, you don’t care to know, but the feeling sends a shiver up your spine.
When you reach the end of the line, you take a deep breath before turning to find a place to sit.
Like every other party, the crowd is mostly separated into cliques.
Parents from around the neighborhood stick together at a few long tables, bribing their children to eat and drink water before returning to the slip-n-slide. At another table sits Angie’s family, including the queen herself, whose pointed stare you gloss over, ignoring her and Frankie at her side. You find some familiar faces at a table near the edge of the big party tent: Benny, Will, and Dani. With them is a small, elderly woman who must be Frankie’s mom or an aunt or something, due to the striking resemblance.
The whole thing reminds you of choosing a place to sit in your high school cafeteria. Much like you did in those days, you gravitate towards an empty table nearby, but halt when some calls your name.
Frowning, you look around to find Benny waving at you.
“Over here,” he pulls out the chair beside him.
You approach with a smile, the tension held in your shoulders dissolving just a little as you take the open seat and greet everyone.
“Thanks. I didn’t know if, umm… it was ok,” you chuckle nervously and drop your eyes to your plate, shaking your head.
“Oh, come on now, you’re always welcome with us,” Benny grins, leaning back in his chair to reveal the tiny graying woman on the other side of him, “Have you met Frankie’s mom, Julieta?”
“I have not,” you reach across Benny to shake her hand, “Good to meet you, I’m—”
She waves you off and pushes her chair out behind her. You half-expect her to furiously walk away at your presence, but instead she wobbles over to you and holds her arms open.
“I know who you are. Come here, mija.”
You stand to accept the invitation, stammering out, “Oh—ok—”
Emotion wells up in your chest when her bony arms squeeze tight around you and she tells you, “Thank you for taking care of my boy.”
Not sure what to say, you just hug her back for a few long seconds. The embrace says it all. It feels maternal and earnest and brings a few tears to your eyes. When she pulls away and smiles at you, you notice she’s a little misty-eyed, too, and you smile back at her. She gives your cheek a few pats before you both return to your seats.
“How’ve you been?” Dani asks.
You contemplate the question long enough for Benny to interject.
“Well, she’s keeping Fish out of trouble so I’m sure she’s having a hell of a time.”
You shrug, “It’s nothing compared to some of the toddlers I’ve had to deal with.”
Your audience chuckles, then awaits a follow up.
“No, I, umm… I’m doing ok. Going through a breakup, so that’s tough, but… mostly I’m good.”
Why did I say that?
“A breakup?” Benny leans back and drapes an arm over the back of your chair, “What happened?”
“Oh, we don’t have to—” you laugh at your plate, stabbing a chunk of watermelon.
“Come on, give us the dirt,” Benny prods.
You shove the watermelon in your mouth and wrinkle your nose at him, shaking your head.
“Let the girl have some privacy,” Dani scolds, “If she doesn’t wanna talk about it, she doesn’t wanna talk about it.”
“If she didn’t wanna talk about it she wouldn’t’ve mentioned it,” he counters.
“It’s fine, it wasn’t even a big deal. We were only dating for a few weeks and it wasn’t a good match,” you explain, glancing around the table, “I don’t know why I said it, sorry, I’m just, umm… nervous.”
You notice Will studying you and hold his meticulous gaze for a moment before dropping your eyes to your plate. He speaks up then, drawing the fire away from you.
“Hey, that’s alright. Not like Benny has room to criticize,” he gives his brother a lopsided grin, “Remember that girl that tried to stab you?”
“Not this again,” Benny groans.
“Ok well now you have to tell me,” you say, flashing a grateful smile to Will before nudging Benny, “Come on, give me the dirt.”
“Well, if you’re gonna twist my arm about it.” He visibly shifts into storytelling mode, sitting up straighter as a glint of mischief sparks in his eyes, “First of all, I had no business dating her to begin with. She had a PT Cruiser with whiskey plates. If that’s not a red flag, I don’t know what is.”
—
Trying to be a halfway decent host, Frankie makes his way around the party checking in with people, introducing himself to all the unfamiliar faces and making small talk, recycling the same lines.
Drinks are in the cooler if you’re thirsty. Thanks for coming. I’m doing great, how about you?
Meanwhile, Ang seems to have taken on his former role as the champion beer drinker of the party. Every time he glances at her she’s either guzzling it down or popping open a new aluminum can.
When she and Carmen start directing slip ‘n’ slide traffic and seem sufficiently distracted, he walks up to the table where some of his favorite people are seated and takes the open chair next to Will.
“Look who it is,” Will smirks at him, “We were just talking about you.”
“Christ, do I wanna know?” he leans forward to rest his elbows on the table.
“Probably not, I was talking mad shit about you,” you tease, looking at him with a grin that makes his heart swell.
“Figures you would be,” he shoots back.
You chuckle and shake your head, “No, actually I was just telling them about how I’m teaching you to cook.”
“Oh yeah,” he looks around the table, “Did you tell them about the stir-fry?”
“Ok, you tried with the stir-fry and it was almost edible—”
“Almost edible?” Benny laughs
“Somehow the rice was both undercooked and burnt, and the veggies were mush,” you share, sitting up taller when you meet his eyes, “But it could’ve been worse. You’re learning!”
“I’m just impressed you could get him in the kitchen in the first place,” Benny says, then turns his attention to Julieta, “Mamá, you didn’t make him cook anything growing up?”
She tsks and waves him off, then explains, “His father wouldn’t let me. He was very traditional, you know, said it was women’s work.“
“It’s ok, Ma,” Frankie assures her.
“I am glad you’re learning now.” A smile stretches across her face, “You must be grateful to have such a good teacher.”
“I am, really,” he nods and glances at you before admitting, “I’d be a fucking mess without her.”
Everyone at the table seems to sit with this information in silence for a moment before Will clears his throat and asks, “Are you still working on that car?”
Frankie leans back in his chair and crosses his arms, “Here and there. Lately it’s just been collecting dust.”
“Mind if I check it out?” Will inquires, “It’s been, what, a year and a half since I’ve seen it?”
“Sure,” he frowns, looking over at you and your creased brow as if seeking permission, at which point you give a shrug, then he squints up across the yard and spots Angie talking to her mom and dad. “Let me just tell Ang so she doesn’t lose her shit if she can’t find me.”
The three men stand from the table. Frankie gives you one more glance before starting off towards his wife. With each step he takes across the grass, he wishes more and more that he could kiss you again. Give you reassurance that you’re doing great in this precarious situation.
Angie’s father glares at him as he approaches, which isn’t abnormal. Angie follows his line of sight, wobbling a bit as she lays eyes on him. Surprisingly, she smiles, “Hey!”
“Hey—”
She throws her arms around his neck and kisses him, the action so unexpected he stumbles back a step. Her lips taste of beer and poor judgment. When he pulls away, he plasters on a fake grin and says, “The guys wanna look at the car, is it ok if I slip away for a few?”
“You boys and your toys,” she rolls her eyes, “Fine, just be back for presents in a couple minutes, yeah?”
“Alright,” he searches over her shoulder, “How’s Sarah doing?”
“Good, good,” she nods, “She’s playing with Carm’s kids in the sandbox.”
“Make sure she gets some water, I don’t think she drank any with—”
“She’s fine, Francisco. I’ve got it,” she insists, patting his chest.
He studies her for a moment, then says, “Ok, I’ll be back in a minute. We’ll be in the garage if you need me.”
“Give me a kiss,” Angie demands, her long nails scraping at the nape of his neck. He leans in and presses his lips to hers, feeling nothing but irritation and disgust.
—
When Frankie and the Miller brothers disappear into the house, so does your social armor, leaving you exposed.
For a while you make scattered small talk with Julieta and Dani, discussing Sarah and the party and the weather. You watch Sarah play with her friends from a distance, not wanting to disrupt their sand castle building by approaching. Every once in a while, your eyes cheat to Angie.
A vile, familiar sensation sits heavy in your stomach.
He warned you that it might be difficult seeing them together, but you forgot how bad it hurts to witness.
The way she kissed him doesn’t help. Hanging off him, looking at him with bedroom eyes.
It’s not the same this time. He’s different now.
The foul thing in your belly goes dead weight, making you lurch.
What if he’s not?
Before you can spiral too much, you hear, “Chacha!” and realize Sarah is running towards you
“Hi, pumpkin!” you smile and outstretch your arms to catch her as she slams into you.
“I’m not a pumpkin, I’m just a girl,” she giggles.
“Are you having fun at your party?”
She grunts out an “mhmm” while you pull her up onto your lap. Her face is flushed, skin all heated and damp with sweat.
“You look like you’re hot, do you want some water?”
“Um. Ok!” she smiles.
“Ok let me get you—”
“I got it,” Dani stands and starts towards the cooler.
You murmur a thanks and return your attention to Sarah, “Thank you for letting me come to your party. I’m having so much fun.”
She giggles in response, leaning into you.
“How are you liking daycare? Do you get to play with your friends?”
She nods.
Dani returns with a cold water bottle, twisting the cap open before handing it to you.
“Here you go, sweetie,” you bring the bottle to her lips and slowly tip it back as she takes big gulps of water. Periodically, you pull it away and let her catch her breath, then start again until she pushes it away.
“Better?”
“Much better,” she nods.
“Maybe she should go inside and cool down for a minute?” Dani suggests.
Julieta leans over to feel her forehead, “Too much sun, hija.”
“Do you wanna go inside for a minute?” You ask, tucking her hair behind her ears.
“Chacha will you go with me?”
“You want me to—oh, um… should we ask your mom…?” You frown at Dani, who grimaces, then Julieta.
“Just take her,” Julieta insists, “I’ll tell Angelica if she comes looking.”
“Ok. Ok sure. Let’s go, sweetie.”
You rise from the chair, sliding Sarah to your hip, then carry her up the stairs into the house. Once inside, you sit on the couch with her for a few seconds before she wriggles away and scampers off down the hallway.
“Chacha come see my room!”
“Oh my fucking god,” you whisper under your breath, glancing nervously up at the back door before following her, “Ok, but just for a minute, then we should go back out to the party.”
—
“Are you seriously calling him?” Frankie blinks, leaning back against the workbench.
Will shoots him a look while raising the phone to his ear.
“Unbelievable. It’s like six o’clock in the morning there, you’re gonna wake—”
“Hey Pope, I’m gonna put you on speaker.” Will presses a button and sets the phone down next to Frankie, “Now I want Fish to tell you what he just told me and Benny.”
Gnashing his jaw back and forth, he stares at Will, then Benny. They both watch him expectantly while Santi speaks up, his voice groggy from sleep.
“Alright, let’s hear it.”
Frankie clears his throat and rubs his mouth before saying, “I’m gonna ask Ang for a divorce.”
“Oh shit, ok.”
Will prods Frankie further, “Tell him the other part.”
“Will you just—Fuck, ok. I’m… seeing someone.”
On the other line, Santi chuckles a little, “Uh-huh.“
“Any guesses on who that might be?” Benny asks.
“Oh, I have one—”
“Wait wait wait, let me give you a hint,” Benny grins while scrolling through his phone, pushing off the hood of the car to grandstand, “On June 10–only seven weeks ago, mind you—Fish said about her, and I quote: It’s not like that, we’re only friends. To which you said—”
“—I said bull-fucking-shit!” Santi finishes, then howls, “That is fucking delicious, thank you.”
Frankie crosses his arms and shakes his head at Will, “See, this is why I didn’t wanna tell him.”
“How long?” Santi asks.
“How long what?”
“How long have you been sleeping with her?”
“It’s… complicated, ok?”
Benny giggles and repeats, “Oh, it’s complicated.”
Santi questions further, “Sure, well, let me ask you this: How long have you been in love with her?”
“Why does it matter?”
“You do, though, right? You love her?”
Frankie crosses his arms and glares at the phone, “Yeah.”
“When did that happen?”
Heat flares through his veins. He wrings his neck and mutters, “That’s a stupid question.”
“Why’s it stupid?”
“Cuz, Pope, that’s like… that’s like asking how long ago mankind came to exist. Or asking what point a chrysalis becomes a butterfly. I don’t fucking know, man, it just does. I just know that I do, I love her, and I have for… a while.”
The two men before him are silent, along with the voice on the phone. Frankie, on the other hand, finds momentum in his confession. He continues.
“And Ang… Jesus Christ, I don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve felt like this with her. And the longer I think about it, the more I convince myself I never did. Not this way, like I can’t live without her, you know?” He taps his fingers against his lips, then shrugs, “Maybe I could have at one point, if I tried. But even then… I don’t like who I am when I’m with her. It doesn’t feel right. It’s like I’m wearing someone else’s skin and it doesn’t fit me.”
He glances up at Benny, then Will. Their faces are somber, but understanding. Benny approaches, leaning on the workbench beside him to rope an arm around his shoulders and give him a supportive squeeze.
“When are you gonna tell her?” Will asks.
“Soon. Not today, but this week probably.“
Benny withdraws his touch and crosses his arms in front of his chest, “She’ll go right for the jugular. You know that, right?”
“I know.” Frankie takes off his cap to run a hand through his hair, then puts it back, “She’s gonna try to take Sarah. Fuck, I’m gonna need another goddamn lawyer, aren’t I?”
“Can you afford that right now?” Will furrows his brow, studying him, “Be honest.”
“Probably. Well, maybe. I haven’t thought that far ahead yet.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but is now the right time? You’re on parole and looking to add felony charges to your wrap sheet. Not to mention the infidelity. On paper, your custody case is shit.”
Frankie shakes his head, “If I have to keep living like this… all this lying and pretending… I don’t know, man. I can’t do it anymore. Something inside me is about to break. I can feel it.”
The Millers exchange a look.
“I don’t think I’m speaking out of line by saying we all just want what’s best for you, Fish,” the voice over the phone tells him, “We want you to be happy. If you need to get out, get out.”
Frankie glances up at Will, who nods in confirmation.
“Thanks. It-it means a lot to me,” he shifts his weight to one leg, looking down at his wristwatch, “We better get back to the party. Talk soon, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Santi says, “Hang in there, buddy.”
After hanging up the phone, Will gives Frankie a pat on the shoulder, “We’ve got your back.”
As they file out of the garage into the entryway, Angie walks out from the bathroom. When she notices them climbing the steps, she calls, “Hi boys.”
To his credit, Benny puts on a convincing smile and greets her with a high five, “What’s up, Angie?”
She steps aside to let him pass, then fixes her glassy eyes on Will, “How’s the carcocha looking?”
“Better than the last time we saw it,” Will shrugs, glancing over his shoulder at Frankie, “Just needs a little TLC.”
“Needs to go to the scrapyard if you ask me,” she snorts and tilts her head at her husband as he reaches the top of the stairs, “Hey handsome.”
He gives her a half-hearted smirk, then frowns, “Where’s Sarah?”
“She’s fine, still playing. Francisco,” she tugs on his shirt, so he comes to a stop.
Jesus Christ, her breath smells like a brewery.
His eyes flick to the Millers stalled at the back door. After waving at them to clear out, he raises his eyebrows at Angie, “What?”
“I need your help with something.”
“Sure, what?”
Instead of answering him outright, she takes his hand and leads him down the hallway. His stomach twists with understanding when she pulls him through the doorway towards the bed.
“If you wanna lay down for a bit, I can take care of every—”
She turns to face him, placing her palms on his chest and sliding them up to his shoulders, “I want you to fuck me, Francisco.”
“Ang,” he chuckles with exasperation, shaking his head, “We have a backyard full of guests here, come on.”
“They’re all having fun, no one will notice.” She takes his hand and guides it to her face, gently folding down all his finger but the index and pouts, “Please, Frankie.”
He swallows a groan when she wraps her full lips around his digit and sucks. The wet hot plush of her mouth makes his eyelids flutter and weakens his resolve.
“I don’t think—”
She pulls his finger from her mouth like a lollipop and bats her eyelashes at him, cooing, “Don’t you wanna fuck me like you did the other night? Didn’t that feel good?”
“Well, yeah—”
“We can be quick.”
As she reaches for his belt, something moves at the edge of his vision.
“Mommy, Daddy!”
He looks at the doorway to find Sarah in the hall, holding one penguin toy in each of her pudgy toddler fists. A big, toothy grin spreads across her face and she giggles, galloping into the room.
Thankful for the diversion, Frankie smiles and takes a big step away from his wife, crouching down to ask Sarah, “Hey sweetheart, what’re you doing in here?”
“Showing Chacha my penguins,” she tells him, holding up her toys, “This one is an emperor penguin, and this one is a macaroni penguin!”
“Chacha?”
Something inside him drops to the floor. He looks up and sees you emerge from Sarah’s room. You pause briefly in the hallway, glancing at Angie before meeting his gaze. The pained look on your face rips his heart in two.
“I, umm…” you stammer, dropping your eyes to the floor and shaking your head, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude, I was just—leaving. There’s a thing and-and I have to go.”
With this, you flee down the hall, then the stairs, your footsteps still echoing heavy in his head while the front door slams shut.
—
“Whiskey coke?”
You look up from the bar top’s glossy wood finish to give Bubba a nod.
“Ain’t seen you around here in a while,” he comments while scooping ice into a glass.
“Yeah.”
It surprises you a little, how hoarse your voice sounds. A self-awareness passes over you and you straighten your spine, glancing around the bar before digging a compact mirror from your purse. By the time you finish rubbing the bleeding mascara from your swollen eyes, Bubba is placing your drink in front of you.
You exchange the mirror for your wallet, but when you fish out your card and hold it out to Bubba, he shakes his head.
“On the house.”
“What, do I get the sad sap discount?”
He chuckles a little at this, then shrugs, “If that’s what you wanna call it.”
“Thanks.”
Leaning forward onto the bar, you pull the glass closer, then stab the ice with your straw a few times. Little bubbles of carbonation fizzle up to the surface and release the gassy scent of rail whiskey. Nostalgia sours your stomach.
“Everything alright?”
A deep ache branches out from the weight beneath your sternum and curls around your shoulders. Every cell in your body feels heavy and burdensome.
Staring at the glass, you shake your head.
“I’m all ears if you wanna talk about it.”
“It’s a long, messy story.”
“I got time.”
You glance up at him, studying his concerned expression, and sigh, “You know that guy who meets me here sometimes? Brown hair, usually wearing a hat? Started a fight that one time?”
“The vet?”
“Yeah,” you nod and swallow down the thickness in your throat, then tell him, “We’ve been off and on for years. He’s, umm… he’s married. I was their nanny when it started. I fell in love with him. He made it clear he didn’t feel the same and he wouldn’t leave his wife, but I kept seeing him because I’m an idiot.”
“Sounds like you kept seeing him because you loved him, not because you’re an idiot,” Bubba observes.
“Same difference,” you shrug and tilt your head at your drink, “He’s an alcoholic. After his wife caught us fucking, he went off the rails completely. Still kept seeing him even though he kept me at an arm’s length and drank himself dumb every night. The thing is… I never believed him when he said he couldn’t love me like I loved him. I felt it, and I thought…”
Tingles work up your throat behind your eyes, and everything becomes blurry as you choke out a sob.
“I’m sorry—”
“It’s ok.”
You shake your head and wipe away your tears, but they keep coming.
“I thought if I kept loving him he would see how good it could be and come around. I thought he would admit to himself that he does love me like I love him. I wanted that with him so bad, I just couldn’t fucking let go. Then, umm…”
You clear your throat and take a deep, shaky breath.
“I had to give him an ultimatum. Her or me. He picked her. I cut it off and tried to move on with my life. He called me a few months ago from jail and asked me to bail him out. I got roped into being his custodian while he’s on parole, so he’s been living with me. We agreed not to get involved in, umm, that way again.
“He’s been sober and opening up emotionally while working through this shit. It’s been really hard. But it’s also been good, you know, because we’ve had to hash out all these problems that we’ve ignored for years. I’ve been able to see the real him, and… I love him more than I ever have.”
“Uh-huh,” Bubba raises an eyebrow at you, crossing his arms above his beer belly, “So what happened that’s got you in a fuss? He still doesn’t love you back?”
The question pierces your heart.
Your voice balances a tightrope as you confess, “I thought he did. I really did this time, I was so fucking certain. He promised he would fix it, that we could be together—and I fucking believed him—”
Waves of emotion swell in your chest and flood your eyes with hot tears. You fold forward, burying your face in your hands, releasing sob after sob as you replay the last two months in your head and wonder how you could be so fucking stupid to think it was real.
The world around you melts away until it’s just you and that dense, pulsing pain. Like it’s always been. Like it always will be.
It doesn’t matter how hard you try to help him. It doesn’t matter that you love him more than anything else in this world. It doesn’t matter.
Nothing matters, because he doesn’t love you and he never will.
A hand rests on your shoulder blades and pulls you back to reality. So lost in your self-pity, you didn’t notice Bubba come around the bar to console you. You sit up and wipe your eyes, mumbling out an apology.
“It’s fine, darlin’. Can I do anything to help?”
Sniffling, you shake your head, “I’ll be ok.”
“You sure?”
You inhale a shattered breath and give him a weak smile, “Fifty-fifty.”
He furrows his brow and studies you for a moment before nodding, then taking a step back.
As he makes his way back to his side of the bar, you stare at your drink. A fat droplet of moisture rolls down the thick condensation lining the glass and gets swallowed up by the cardboard coaster beneath.
You wish you could forget about him.
You wish you could feel nothing.
You wish you could hurt him the way he’s hurt you.
So, you pluck out the straw, raise the cup to your lips, and start drinking.
—
The setting sun paints the wispy clouded sky above a brilliant shade of orange. Beneath his feet, the soles of Frankie’s shoes scuff against the driveway. He glances down at his mom, with her arm hooked in his, and says, “Thanks for coming out, Mamá. I hope you had a good time.”
“It was a very nice party, mijo.”
She gives him this stifled polite smile like she’s holding something back. So he prods her.
“What?”
She waves him off, “Nada nada.”
“Come on, Ma.”
They come to a stop at the driver’s side door of her car and turn to face each other. She studies him a moment, then gives in with a huff, “You have been like this all afternoon. Why?”
“Like what?”
“So stormy.”
He deflates, “Don’t worry about it.”
Her lips purse as she tilts her head at him. The ‘don’t make me smack you’ look.
“It’s messy, mom. How I’m feeling,” he wrings a hand behind his neck and shrugs, “I don’t know. Everything is a mess and it’s all my fault.”
“All your fault how? Did something happen?”
“No—well,” he catches himself, swallows, then corrects, “Yeah. I did something bad. And I lied about it. Then I got caught in the lie, and, you know…”
She nods slowly, waiting for more.
“I think I might be a bad person.”
Her expression softens when Frankie says it. She cups his cheeks and stares straight into his soul. Suddenly, he’s five years old all over again, Mamá comforting his bruised heart.
“There is a good man inside you. I know him well because he’s my son. Let him be brave.”
He absorbs this for a moment, then croaks, “Ok.”
“Give me a hug.”
He hunches over to hug her, burying his face in her neck, “Quiero mucho, mamá.”
“Yo a ti,” she squeezes him, then pulls back and asks, “Will you call me tomorrow?”
“Sure.”
He waits for her to get in her car and drive away before returning to the house. Inside, he finds Sarah and Benny reading a book on the couch, while the siren song of the party still roaring out back rubs at his nerves.
Frankie pulls out his phone to confirm you, predictably and rightfully, did not respond to his messages or calls. Reconciling with you will be a fucking nightmare. Going home to face the consequences seems less appealing with each passing second.
He starts to consider other options.
He could stay and drink. Join the party. Doubtful that Angie or any of her people would give a shit. Hell, they would probably encourage him.
Better yet, he could stay and drink by himself in the garage. There’s enough booze laying around, nobody would notice if he drained a bottle or two in order to reach that blissful numb.
He plops down on the couch next to Sarah and brings his attention to Benny’s reading.
“—‘Now stop!’ Max said and sent the wild things off to bed without their supper. And Max the king of all wild things was lonely and wanted to be where someone loved him best of all. Then all around from far away across the world he smelled good things to eat so he gave up being king of where the wild things are.
But the wild things cried, ‘Oh please don’t go—we’ll eat you up—we love you so!’ And Max said, ‘No!’ The wild things roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws but Max stepped into his private boat and waved goodbye… and sailed back over a year and in and out of weeks and through a day… and into the night of his very own room where he found his supper waiting for him… and it was still hot.”
Benny flips the paperback closed and looks down at Sarah, who yawns and rubs her eyes, then to her father.
“Still want that ride home?”
Frankie considers this for a moment before nodding, “Yeah. Let me put her to bed and talk to Ang, then we can take off.”
#designated person#frankie morales#frankie morales x reader#frankie morales x you#frankie morales x ofc#francisco catfish morales#frankie catfish morales#francisco morales#triple frontier#frankie morales fanfiction#frankie morales angst#x reader#pedro pascal character fanfic#pedro pascal#pedro pascal character#pedro pascal character fic
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I’m ADDICTED to angsty fics where Matt or chris get in an argument with the reader and they move their hand and reader flinches and then it’s all soft and comforting and sweet PLS WRITE THIS I NEED MORE OF THESE FICS KAY
I GOT YOU BABY
Trauma Response • Matt Sturniolo
Pairing: Matt Sturniolo/Reader
Summary: An argument triggers the reader, and Matt is there for comfort and support.
TRIGGER WARNING: light discussion of a past, physically abusive relationship. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, know that you are not alone and there’s help out there. Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788
“I just wish you would listen to me this one fucking time,” Matt gritted out, voice low and irritated.
“Matt, it’s just a little get together, and my best friend is going,” I explain softly. I hate confrontation, Matt knows this, but he’s being so insistent that I don’t go to this little kickback tonight and I don’t understand why.
“Tell her she shouldn’t go either! I’m being so for real right now, people I know going to that party are bad news, babe, don’t go.” He demands, stepping closer to me, at this point we’re maybe a foot apart from each other, standing in the middle of our bedroom.
“Why are you being so controlling right now? This isn’t like you, Matt, and I don’t like it,” I tell him, crossing my arms.
“IM NOT!” He yells, making me roll my eyes.
“Yes you literally are,” I tell him.
Matt lets out a loud and frustrated groan as he brings his hand up quickly. I immediately flinch away, shrinking in on myself as I step back.
Everything pauses.
“Baby?” Matt asks, voice soft and sounding heartbroken. I peak up at him, and see where his hand had went. He was reaching up to fix his earring, not what I had instinctively thought. His gaze is sad and concerned, eyes wide and teary looking as he gazes at me.
“Matt, I-“ I start, but my voice shakes and I can’t find the words to say right now.
Matt slowly lowers his hand back down from fixing his earring. He also takes a step back from me.
“You think I’d hit you?” He asks me, voice breaking at the end.
“N-no, Matt, it’s not,” I trail off, once again having trouble speaking. I still feel panicked and anxious, but I know it’s past traumas affecting me right now. I know Matt would never lay a hand on me that way, logically. He’s not that kind of man. But trauma and logic don’t always get along, and Matt doesn’t really know about my past trauma.
“Are you afraid of me? Baby, please, I don’t care how angry I ever am, I’d never-“ Matt has to pause as he gets choked up. A tear runs down his cheek and I break, beginning to cry as I step forward, wrapping my arms tightly around him as a burrow my head into his chest.
“I’d never hurt you sweetheart, never, I don’t want you to be afraid of me” he says, sniffling lightly as I feel him press a kiss to my head. I nod against his chest. We stand there in the middle of his room just holding each other for I don’t know how long as we calm down. In this moment, Matt needed the comfort just as much as I did.
Once I feel back in control of my emotions and my anxiety leaving my body, I pull back slightly so Matt and I can look at each while still in each other’s arms.
“Matt, I know you’d never hurt me, I know that and I need you to know it too,” I tell him softly.
His eyes are red and watery still as he nods.
“I promise you I’d never, I love you,” he tells me, making me smile.
“I know, I love you too,” I respond.
He then asks the question I knew would come, but was dreading.
“Why did you flinch away from me, though?” He asks me gently.
“You know about the guy I dated before you? The one I never talk about,” I begin, to which Matt nods.
“I’m not ready to talk about it all, but sometimes, he’d get physical with me when he was mad, that’s why I flinched. That’s why I hate confrontation so much, it can take my straight back to that feeling I had with him” I explain.
Matt’s jaw clenches a bit as I see him swallow dryly. I can tell hearing this is hard for him, which I hate.
“Hey, I got out, that guy is states away with no idea where I am, I’m safe now, I’m with you,” I assure him.
He nods, and pulls me back into his chest, his arm snug around my waist as his other hand comes up to cradle the back of my head, holding me firmly but gently to his chest.
“I’m so sorry you were ever with a guy like that. I swear to you, I’ll never hurt you. I’ll never lay a finger on you in any way you don’t want. No matter how upset or angry we are. I love you.” he vows to me.
“I love you too,” I tell him, before leaning up and kissing him on the lips. He kisses me back so softly and gently, like I’m made of fine china.
“Thank you for trusting me enough to share that with me, I know even talking about that a little bit has to be hard, baby. I’m so proud of you, you’re so strong,” he whispers to me as he reaches up and tucks a piece of my hair back behind my ear.
“Thank you, Matty,” I smile.
“I’m sorry I got so upset about the party you want to go to with your friend tonight. If you want to go still that’s fine. I can’t control you, and I’m sorry it came off that way. I just know some of the guys who plan to go tonight and they’re all bad news. Really bad news. And I don’t want you to get hurt, that’s all” he explains to me.
“No, you’re right then, if they’re bad news I’d rather not be around that, I’ll text her and let her know too, we shouldn’t go,” I agree.
That evening Matt and I stayed in, opting to watch a movie in bed together. As I drifted to sleep, surrounded by warm blankets and Matt’s arms, I knew I’d always be safe and looked out for, and I’d never have to worry about going through anything like my past relationship brought me.
#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo fanfiction#matt sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo fic#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo
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christmas & chill | jjk (m)
sequel to all to you
summary - it’s the most happiest time of the year with your needy boy.
pairing - jungkook x reader (f)
genre - established relationship, pwp, fluff
word count - 3.7k
song inspo - the entirety of ariana grande’s ep christmas & chill ofc!
warnings - reader and koo are hopelessly in love sigh, lots of cum, unprotected sex (pls don’t be dumb like them i beg), koo kinda switches lowkey sorry, overstimulation, hint of dacryphilia, koo’s a lil crybaby, extremely needy koo, praise, riding, backshots yayyyy, oral (f receiving), squirting, cum eating, pet names (ur his angel <3), reader is chubby coded (is that a thing? i’m making it a thing), reader suffers from FPS (fat pussy syndrome) whilst jungkook suffers from FDBS (fat dick and balls syndrome) 😞
a/n - a lil gift from me to u ♡ thank u all for all the love. i wanted to post something for christmas as a 2 year anniversary to my first ever fic i posted on here. hope u enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it. see u next year!!
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The semester is over, finals are a thing of the past, and your lovely new boyfriend is coming over in 15 minutes. Merry fucking Christmas to you!
Due to finals being obnoxiously cutthroat this year, you’ve barely been able to spend any time with Jungkook. He offered to help you study multiple times, but you felt it would be more responsible to study on your own without any…distractions. You learned from last time that studying with him ends with materials being forgotten and clothes being strewn about. So for two weeks, you put a sex ban on the both of you so that way when you were able to reconnect, it’d be 10x better. Jungkook reluctantly agreed but had a huge pout on his face that you oh so lovingly kissed away. Ever since you two made it official, it’s like all you ever think about is being grossly lovey-dovey with him. In your defense, he makes it a little hard not to. He’s the sweetest boy in the world, of course you wanna shower him with kisses and endless praise and let him pump as much cum into you as his heart desires! The look on his face does you in every single time, just thinking about it is making you squeeze your plush thighs together.
You shake your head to re-focus on the task of getting ready. Your roommate has the same plans as you do with her own significant other so she notified you she’d be gone for the weekend with a sly smile. Fortunately for her, this means she won’t have to hear the headboard banging rhythmically into the wall at 3 am anymore - well, at least for the weekend. You’ve decided to pamper yourself a little before he arrives. Showered, shaved, moisturized, spritz some sweet-smelling perfume, and even put on a little bit of makeup just to make yourself feel extra cute. You put on some fuzzy pink shorts that make your legs and ass look good, and a tank top with Hello Kitty positioned right in the middle of your boobs. You look and feel so fucking good right now. ‘Jungkook’s gonna bust in his pants again,’ you sigh blissfully to yourself. However, tonight you want him to fill you up completely. It’s what you deserve after such a stressful month of non-stop studying and crying over due dates. You give yourself a little smile in the mirror before you walk to the living room to turn on the tv for background noise. Watching movies is the last thing on your mind at the moment.
Your head springs up when you hear melodic taps on the door. Anytime Jungkook knocks, it has to be to the tune of whatever song he was listening to earlier, it’s a habit you’ve always found to be endearing. You skip to the door happily, excited to see your favorite boy.
“Hey angel, I got us- mph,” you interrupt his sentence with a deep kiss. Fuck, you missed him so much. Although you’d never admit it to his face, as he tends to get a bit cocky (which never lasts once you’re on top of him), this sex ban has been torture for you. You made the foolish decision of adding that neither of you was allowed to touch yourselves while you cracked down on studying. So to say you were pent-up was a gross understatement. You parted from him for air and saw how dazed he looked. Pink cheeks and shaky breaths. Just like always.
You smirk and look down at the bags he has in his hands. “You got food? Aww, you’re too sweet, come in! It’s freezing,” you say innocently. You grab the bags of takeout from him and usher him inside. He’d like to blame his rosy face on the cold wind, but you and him both know you just caught him off guard. And turned him on a little. These past couple of weeks have been what Jungkook would imagine hell is like. And then to add the extra challenge of not masturbating? November is over! What happened to Destroy Dick December?? Nevertheless, he’s ecstatic to see you again. He has so much to give you. He knows you can take it, he just wonders if he can. Other than his incessant horniness though, he’s just as excited to curl up with you under your warm weighted sheets and hold and kiss and love you endlessly. He walks inside to see you’ve transformed the living room into a cozy holiday getaway. Fairy lights decorated the tables and doorway, soft music flowed throughout the room, chilled wine set out on the table, and you, looking as gorgeous as ever. God, he’s so in love with you. He wants every holiday season to be spent with you by his side. He plops himself down on the couch and stares at your pretty figure retreating to the kitchen to collect plates and utensils. He notices that you’re wearing the short fuzzy shorts that he likes. The ones where he can clearly see the soft thighs he always imagines rutting himself between. Maybe if he’s good tonight you’ll let him. His dick slowly hardens at the prospect.
You come back with eating materials in hand and sit next to him closely on the couch. “What’s all this for?” he asks distractedly. He notices you’ve also put on the perfume he can’t get enough of. It’s subtle enough to not mess with his sensitive nose but sweet enough to keep him wanting more. He wants all of you. Right now. “I thought I’d make the atmosphere nice and warm for us since it’s been so long since we’ve had a chance to be alone together,” you say smiling brightly. You dig into your food ignoring your very erect boyfriend. “You aren’t hungry baby?” you ask with a slight pout. He shakes his head slowly and scans your body up and down, seeing that you’ve foregone a bra. Your nipples poke through the little tank top you’ve thrown on and he desperately wants to lean down and put them in his mouth.
You snicker at how obvious he’s being. You knew he’d get like this as soon as he saw you. You’re surprised he didn’t crumble and fall to his knees the moment you kissed him. There had been many nights throughout these past few weeks where he’d text you alluding to wanting to see you, touch you, taste you, anything. All of which you would shut down and sternly tell him to not touch himself. “The only one that’s making you cum this month is me, do you understand?” you had firmly told him one night. He whimpered and whinily agreed. He’s such a good boy, your good boy.
Now with you right in front of him, looking the way that you do, he doesn’t know what to do with himself. You laugh and swallow the last bite of your food and turn to him. “Ok ok, I get it,” you say as you lean in to kiss him. He immediately wants to deepen it but you push him back before he has the chance. “Don’t you want to make a little toast first?” you don’t think he could get any poutier. “If I drink this wine can we have sex after?” you giddily nod and pour your glasses. “To us,” you clink your glasses together and watch as he hastily downs his whole cup. This is definitely gonna be a long night.
Without even considering letting you finish, he dives in for another long kiss. You smile into it and place your glass on the table to focus your full attention on him. Tongues dancing for dominance that he beautifully succumbs to. You climb on top of him slowly and straddle his firm thighs. You’ll never get over how such a strong man will willingly submit to your every whim. He’s so perfect.
He runs his hands up and down your sides and feels how soft you are. He knows you’ve been insecure about your body in the past, but he’s always loved it. Even before you agreed to be his girlfriend, he’d savor any ounce of physical contact with you if it meant he got to feel your tiny squishy self against his lean muscular form. Your thighs squeeze around his hips and you push your heat against his straining bulge. He moans wantonly. This is what he’s been craving. Your warmth on top of him. The only thing that could make this better is you letting him inside of you to feel it completely. He bucks his hips into yours to hint at what he wants. But you know, you’ve known since before he walked into your place. If he had things his way, he would’ve picked you up and taken you on the front door. But he enjoys the teasing and the waiting. He enjoys the thrill of not knowing what’ll happen next. He enjoys anything you’ll allow him.
Your kisses descend upon his jaw and neck as his cold hands fiddle with the hem of your tank top. He gives you a pleading look, silently asking if he can take it off, which causes you to nod as an affirmative. He quickly takes it off and leans back to do the same to his own shirt. Seeing his bare chest will forever be a treat for you. You're sure he could say the same if his ogling of your boobs is anything to go by. “You’re so pretty,” he sighs. His pupils dilate as he softly squeezes them in his hands. “Wanna suck on them,” he mumbles. You giggle and tell him to go ahead which he does swiftly. There’s something lethargic about watching him suck and play with your nipples. Even when not in a sexual context, he likes to have you in his mouth absentmindedly. You’re starting to think it’s become a comfort thing for him. He looks so at peace. His cold fingers contrast his warm tongue and it only adds to your pleasure. You rock against him harder which causes him to part from your nipples to whine.
“Please- please can I be inside of you? I need it, I’m so full angel please,” he rushes out. “You wanna fill me up baby?” you respond gently, cupping his face with your hands. His doe eyes framed by your fresh set of acrylics is such a pretty sight to see. He nods and whispers another please. He looks so good when he begs. You wish you could take a mental screenshot of this moment.
You get up to discard your shorts and lacy pink panties while he impatiently just tugs his pants and boxers down to his knees. You’ve decided he’s had enough teasing for the night and quickly guide his throbbing length inside your embarrassingly wet pussy. He lets out a sob as you bottom out on him completely. You give yourself a brief second to adjust and let him recuperate from everything that happened in the last 60 seconds or so. You give him a small peck and ask if he’s ready, to which he replies with a soft yes and squeezes your hips for emphasis. With that, you slowly lift your hips and plop back down with a quickness. He’s so fucking big; not only is he long, but he’s slightly thick too. He’s always leaving your poor pussy sore but he fills you so fucking well you can’t find it in you to care. You set a fast pace as you’re overcome with your own need to feel good. You can’t wait for him to cum inside you. The moment you told him you were on birth control and that you were ok with him finishing inside he almost lost his mind. You’ve come accustomed and even excited to feel his love filling you in the most physical way.
His hands grip your hips firmly as he throws his head back and takes the pleasure he’s receiving. You’re squeezing around him tightly and bouncing up and down on him so swiftly, he feels like he’s basking in the glows of heaven. “Ahh ____ you’re gonna milk it out of me fuck,” he moans loudly. His voice tends to heighten in pitch whenever he’s close and his eyes start to water as if he’s on the verge of bursting into tears. This however, only encourages you to get him there quickly. You wanna see tears streak down his face as he releases two weeks’ worth of cum inside of you. You bet he has so much. It might even overflow. With this thought, you move even faster, telling him to keep his eyes on you. “Don’t close your eyes baby, I wanna see those pretty eyes when you cum inside me ok?” you tell him. He tries his hardest to keep his eyes open, but the tears in his eyes cloud his vision. He blinks profusely in an attempt to clear them. He wants you to be the only thing he sees. He’s gonna cum any second now. It feels too good, you’re overwhelming his senses and he can’t hold it anymore. “____! I- fuck I’m cumming I’m cumming I”m sorry I can’t hold it,” his revere breaks as you feel spurts of warm cum release deep in your heat. You gasp and furrow your brows as you halt your movement. Pleasure racks through both of your bodies as you both cum together. You rock your hips back and forth to ride it out but it only causes him to whine loudly in overstimulation. He wants to go again. He still has more to give you.
“Keep going please I still have more,” he says breathily. Unfortunately for him, you are far too tired to keep riding him. Your legs are sore and you’ve frankly overexerted yourself. ‘Maybe I should take up on his offers on going to the gym,’ you think offhandedly. You place your head next to his ear and pant, “Fuck me baby, c’mon. Do whatever you want.” It’s almost as if a flip switches in his brain as he’s given permission to fuck you in any way he pleases. At this, he grips his hips and lifts you up slightly to pound his cock into you. His balls slap against your soft pussy as he sets a quick pace. You feel like a little doll with the way he fucks into you. You can’t help but notice that even when he’s fucking you like this, manhandling you into any position he wants, he’s still whining and looking at you with complete and utter adoration. He pulls you in to give you a sloppy kiss as he cums for the second time that night. He moans into your mouth as you feel the tears that seem to continuously fall from his eyes on your cheeks. He pulls away to give you both a chance to breathe.
His forehead rests against yours as he gasps for breath. You feel his cock twitch inside of you. “Kookie..are you still-” you stop yourself as he buries his head into your chest and cries. “M’ sorry I just- I missed you so much. I’ve been wanting this so bad angel. I just wanna fuck you over and over again. I’ve been saving it all for you. Just like you told me to,” he sobs into you. Your poor baby, he’s been suffering more than you thought he has. You wonder how he would’ve coped had you not have added the dumb “no touching yourself” to your little challenge. Probably by stroking himself to the thought of you every night. You clench at the thought. He lifts his head with widened eyes. You didn’t cum! And he did! How selfish could he be? He gently lifts you off of him and lays you back on the couch. He gives you a big, loving kiss and makes his way downwards. “Wait! Not on the couch, this shit is hard to clean,” you hurriedly say. He smiles bashfully and picks you up to carry you to your room.
It’s like you weigh nothing to him, a sentiment that makes you blush and giggle into his neck. He smiles and pecks your head before he flops you down on your soft sheets (that’ll definitely need to be washed thoroughly once he’s done with you). He gets down on his knees and looks up at you. You are nothing but a goddess in his eyes. The love of his life. He’ll do anything for you. You stare back at him and card your nails through his hair, gazing at him tenderly. This is exactly how it should be. Him on his knees staring up at you in awe, and you, pushing his head straight to your cum-filled pussy. You’d laugh if he didn’t instantly wrap his lips around your swollen clit.
He runs his tongue up and down your cunt, cleaning it the best he can whilst simultaneously trying to get you to climax on his tongue. He fucks his tongue into you as he brings his chilly fingers to your clit. You yelp and moan loudly. “Fuck yes, just like that baby. That’s so good,” you praise. His bright eyes look up at you as he rubs your slick bud in circular motions, his tongue never stopping its pace inside. He parts from between your thighs briefly to whisper to you “Please cum for me angel. Wanna make you feel good,” and goes back to eating you with intent. That does it for you, you see a burst of white behind your eyelids as you cum messily on his face. This has got to be the most intense orgasm you’ve ever had, as you can’t stop shaking and trembling. He kisses your shaky thighs and caresses them softly to bring you back down.
He kisses his way back up to your face to check if you’re ok. “You alright?” he asks delicately. He pecks all over your face as he sees you slowly but surely come back to him. When your eyes flutter open, you’re shocked to see that his face is drenched. “Did I…,” he smiles brightly and nods. “I made you squirt angel,” he says with a grin. He’s lucky he’s cute, otherwise you’d be extremely annoyed with his cockiness. He looks so proud of himself though, so you’ll let it slide this one time. While you’d love to just pass out and deal with the mess later, you can’t help but notice the incessant hardness poking your stomach. “One more?” you question. He pouts once more and nods with pleading eyes. “Just one more, I promise,” he says. You relent and turn over on your stomach, maybe if he goes easy on you, you can even rest a little while he reaches his peak. But this is Jungkook, of course that’s not going to happen.
He grips your hips and hikes your ass up to get you into just the position he wants. He’s kind enough to put a pillow underneath you so as to not strain your back as much. The tip of his cock has been leaking ever since he got on his knees to eat your pretty pussy that he loves, and the throbbing was starting to become painful. He runs his dick through your folds to slicken himself up and whimpers when the tip catches onto your slit. With a soft kiss to your back, he thrust himself inside. Since he’s eaten you and stretched you so thoroughly, there’s no need for you to adjust, so he starts jackhammering into your cunt right away. He still feels so full, he loves the sound of his fat balls pounding away your plush little pussy. When he feels this good, he can’t seem to keep quiet.
“Mmmm this is so good, so fucking good. I’m so sorry baby, I can’t stop. I wanna fill you over and over. Look so pretty with my cum stuffed inside of you,” and here come the waterworks. He’s so sensitive, fucking you like this almost hurts. But he can’t stop, not until he’s completely empty. His thrusts are nothing short of quick and concise. He loves when you let him use you like this. Nothing but sounds of your wetness, his balls pattering against your bud, and the sounds of your combined moans run throughout the small apartment. You’re definitely gonna get another noise complaint.
“Baby, you can slow down it’s ok, don’t overwork yourself,” you plead. His tears almost make you want to stop him altogether and give him a chance to calm down. Jungkook, on the other hand, has no intentions on stopping. “No! I can’t, I need to keep going! Please don’t make me stop I wanna cum again please please please,” he sobs. He’s so close, he can feel it swirling in his stomach. He just needs a little more and then he can finally milk all the cum he’s been saving for you out of him. You, incidentally, are close to cumming too. In fact, you’re learning that this feeling you’re experiencing is that you’re about to squirt again. “Koo- oh my god, I- baby I’m gonna-” you stumble. “Me too, me too, fuck. Let go angel, make a mess on me again,” he rushes out as his thrusts increase. He spits on his fingers and runs them along your hard little bud. You try to muffle your scream into your pillows as you release all over his chest and your sheets. Seeing and feeling you squirt all over him causes him to reach his climax as well. He pumps every last bit of cum that he has inside your battered pussy as he thanks you profusely. Just as you expected, it overflows and drips back down your thighs. Jungkook collapses as softly as he can on top of you as you both breathe heavily. His cock finally softens and he reluctantly pulls it out as gently as he can.
As he heavily plops himself down next to you, he sees that you’ve knocked out, already snoring lightly. He chuckles and pulls you into his chest. “Thank you angel. I love you, so so much,” he whispers. This is exactly what he wanted for Christmas. You safe in his arms and full of his cum.
#sub!jungkook#sub!jungkook x dom!reader#jungkook x reader smut#jungkook fic#jungkook smut#jeon jungkook fic#jungkook fluff#bts fanfic#bts fic#bts smut#switch!jungkook
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bloom.
part four of the no strings attached series by @lilystyles
no strings attached masterlist & main masterlist xxx
authors note part four is hereeeeeee!! IM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO WRITE THIS. i was drowning in assignments these past few months which is why it has taken me so long. i am now on my winter break yay, so i should be able to update more regularly thanks for the patience and love XXXX
brief description y/n and harry go to dinner and something stronger blooms between them.
warnings! smut (f!receiving, blowjob, sex, cumplay, loss of virginity but is all very romantic) unprotected sex (pls wear a condom), swearing, alcohol abuse, overall just a mature read. around 11.6k words. (she's longggg omg)
inexperinced!virgin!reader x fwb!harry
* * * * *
Harry and Y/n had managed to keep their new ‘relationship’ a secret for a little over a month which Y/n was very proud of, normally she couldn’t lie to save her life. He’d come over most weekends or she’d go to his and they would eat food, sometimes they’d cook sometimes they’d go out, they would watch films, sometimes at home sometimes in the cinema. But by the end of the night after a few wines and with an old soul record playing in the background they’d pleasure each other.
It was simply perfect. Whatever, wherever they were at was the happiest they had ever been. Except maybe the few Christmases they’d had together as roommates.
Y/n had never thought she could enjoy someone else’s company this much. Within time she grew the most comfortable she ever had been with someone. He’d seen her naked, he’d seen her cry, he’d seen her bleed, and he knew all of her secrets. She felt so free around him. It was a wonderful feeling, she only wished she could tell her other friends about it and how great it was. How happy she was, how happy he made her. This free feeling? Did they have that too? Is that why they’d always encouraged her to get a boyfriend and put herself out there?
But she knew it was just easier this way — their own little bubble. Keeping it their little secret. Sometimes things went to shit once they were said out loud. She’d noticed that and was worried if she shared it with them he would disappear.
They still hadn’t had sex yet, Harry wanted to wait for the right moment for that. He knew that virginity was a silly construct but he still wanted her first time having sex to be something she wouldn’t regret. He couldn’t live with himself if he ruined that for her. He didn’t want it to feel forced and corny and like it was this dramatic live changing event but he didn’t want it to be in the back of a car in a dark car park either. He wanted it to be a nice moment. She’d been ready for weeks, since that first night even. But when Harry told her waiting was the right thing to do she listened and was grateful for his delicate handling of the situation. He was more experienced so she listened.
She trusted him.
When Harry got a text from James that day that the guys all wanted to go on a camping trip for a long weekend in the middle of spring, he called her immediately.
After a few rings, she answered. “Hi, Haz!” She sounded breathless but chirpy.
“Hey, Lovie.” He could hear clatter in the background. She must’ve been up to something. A loud bang echoed in his ear.“What are you doing, Cheeky?” He said in a playful tone.
She giggled. “I’m attempting to perfect a cookie recipe. I had a bit of an anxious day, so I needed a distraction.”
“Why didn’t you just call me? I’m happy to distract you.” He said softly, grabbing a jumper from his cupboard. He was about to ask if he could come over, not that he needed to at this point.
She wondered for a moment if he meant that in a sexual way or not. Because everything had begun to blur. Sure most of the time when she saw Harry they’d pleasure each other, but sometimes he just held her warmly in his arms. Sometimes they did nothing at all. What did it all mean? Sometimes he felt like a boyfriend, most of the time actually.
“I’m sure you have a life outside of being my distraction.” She said stubbornly, mixing the batter in the large bowl. Her arm was aching. The smell of spices and ginger filled her nose, her biggest struggle when baking was usually not eating all the batter.
“Not really. So, can I come over?”
She giggled again, softly. “Of course. See you in 20.”
“Getting in the car as we speak.”
“Drive safely please.”
He smiled. “Always, Bun.”
When he arrived at her apartment he barely had to knock before she had already opened the door.
“Hi, H!” She chirped.
“Hi, Petal.”
She opened the door wide for him. “Come in.” She was in a pair of boxers he had left behind a few nights ago they were dark blue and a tight old One Direction shirt. She’d supported them in the early stages of their career, that shirt was from way back when. She was covered in flour and other cooking ingredients, looking as adorable as ever. Wearing those ridiculous bunny slippers of hers.
He shut the door behind him following her to the kitchen where something good was cooking. She was making another batch of her cookies (she was famous for them).
“I thought you could give these to Gem and Anne when you see them, you said they were coming down last time you were ‘round. Of course, you don’t have to. But I miss them, and they used to like my cookies.” She said shyly, suddenly feeling embarrassed. He never took his eyes off her.
He grinned stepping closer to her with his arms wide. “You are the cutest.”
She blushed.
“You should come to dinner.” He pulled her into his chest, chin resting on her head. Smelling the scent of her delicious shampoo as he squeezed the plump flesh of her arms and shoulders.
She looked up, arms still wrapped around his hips, “That isn’t very friends with benefits of us though, is it?” Tucking her head into his chest, he smelt so good today. Like every day. The woodsy fresh bodywash he used was still very strong on his skin and his hair was extra fluffy. He must have showered this morning.
“I’d have asked you, either way, Love. Y’know Mum adores you. Gem too.”
She looked up. “Okay….When is it?”
“Tonight, that’s sort of why I wanted to come over. And, did you see the text James sent?”
She shook her head and walked over to the living room and found her phone buried underneath the dozens of blankets. She now saw the chat flooded with texts.
JAMES
Hi guys! Is everyone free next weekend for the long weekend? Me and Daisy have planned a lil getaway at the beach. We would love to go all together like the old times. Bring a tent and gear. X
DAISY
and bring your party pants!!
OLIVE
I’m so there. :))
FINNLEY
I’ll check, I’ve got exams coming up.
But fingers crossed.
PENNY
i am definitely coming !!!
MICHAEL
Yes bet bet. Sounds like a plan
JAMES
Harry? Y/n? U two in?
She looked up. “Sounds nice, a lil’ getaway.” She liked the idea of doing nothing with Harry by the beach and amongst nature.
“I’ll go if you go.”
That made her smile and she looked down before typing.
me and harry shall be there xxx
After that, Harry managed to get roped into helping finish the cookie decorating before Y/n rushed off to get ready for dinner. Harry had booked a swanky restaurant, so Y/n felt like she had to dress up just a bit more than their usual dinners.
Once she was out of the shower, she stared annoyedly in her towel at her options.
She remembered when Harry used to come home from touring and Anne would throw these big but intimate dinner parties and invite all his family and friends. Y/n could just wear jeans to that and they’d all bundle up around a bonfire after dinner and look at the stars. Harry and her would share a wine or two and it was simple. Harry loved how normal he felt with Y/n, even the memory of her was enough to ground him. He was glad she was back in his life, and he felt now he was ready for it and ready for her.
Harry came down the hall to her room and sat down on her bed grabbing one of her teddy bears and cuddling it in his big arms. The sight was rather funny, this big tattooed man and a little pink teddy bear cuddled up in pretty feminine soft-looking bedsheets. “I’ve got to change and pick some gifts up from back home before we go, is that okay?” He asked watching her dig through her clothes.
She nodded. “Of course! But what should I wear? What do you think?”
She was oddly nervous about tonight even though every Christmas when she went home to Holmes Chapel she went over to Harry’s Mums house for a drink and sometimes had the odd text with Gemma. She was still in contact with that side of her life it was just now she was Harry’s date to dinner. But she wasn’t his girlfriend but they’d think she was and what did that mean? Anne and Y/n’s mother had wanted them to get married for years now since they were around 10. Would this be the new talk of the town between all the mothers? She knew it was likely. Gemma was probably bringing her partner Michal, so it felt really official or something.
He watched her, her eyebrows were furrowed in concentration as she stared at her cupboard.
“I’m just wearing a shirt and slacks. Simple.” He replied. “Don’t think too hard about it, you’ll look pretty in anything, Bun.”
“Harry, I bet all of your outfit is custom-made Gucci. I can’t compete with that!”
He bit his lip to hold back his laugh. “Lovie, calm down. Don’t work yourself up. Just wear somethin’ you feel nice in. If yeh’ worried about me caring that’s silly, I like yeh’ in anythin’.”
She remained frowning and started to dig through the dresses she had. She found one hidden amongst them, she wore it to her birthday once. It was a long golden slinky dress with lace detail on the hem and neckline. It was very delicate. And even though it was spring she knew it would still be chilly that evening so she grabbed a long brown coloured coat from off the door that she had been wearing most days to Uni. It was warm and woollen and she loved it.
Harry busied himself by scrolling through his phone while she got ready. It didn’t take her long, once she was happy with her outfit and had added a light pink scarf, a handbag and some shoes she went to the bathroom to do her makeup and hair.
She had already blow-dried her hair before and it was in a lovely natural state so she didn’t bother changing it. For makeup she kept it simple, only enhancing her features. When she was ready and came out Harry looked up upon the clicking of her heels.
His cheeks turned pink at the sight. Jesus. “Beautiful, Bun.” He felt no words could do it justice.
She blushed a bit too at those words and that admiring expression of his. “Thanks, Harryyy. Ready? I’ll get the cookies and lock up and then we can go, okay?”
He nodded at her standing up and following her lead as she’d put the cookies into a tin.
Once she grabbed everything else she needed they got in Harry’s car and headed to his house.
Y/n was browsing Harry’s playlists and noticed a new one in there which was unnamed only with a pink heart as the title. He wasn’t really paying attention to her on his phone, his hand was carelessly thrown on her thigh and the other the wheel, they were both pretty silent, it was calm. So he didn’t notice her scrolling through the songs — it was this soft, romantic, sleepy, soul playlist. Full of a lot of her favourites and it felt like a cosy evening. So she put it on and placed his phone back into her lap.
Harry’s ears pricked up at the sound of the song, she’d found the playlist. Was it obvious it was for her? Well, about her?
“You found it.” He whispered, the song was only softly playing as background noise. He didn’t have the radio up loud. So she heard him.
“Yeah, it’s like all m’favs.” She said, smiling gently.
He contemplated saying it, feeling his heart speed up as he spoke, “I made it f’you.”
She finally met his eyes and gave him this dazzling toothy grin. “Aw, that’s nice, Haz. Really sweet.” She leaned over kissing his cheek. She laughed when her lipstick left a stain and she rubbed it. “Sorry.”
He just gave her thigh a squeeze in reply worried he might reveal himself if he said anything else and a few songs later they arrived at his house. He told Y/n she could wait in the car because it would take him 10 minutes max to get dressed.
She nodded and scrolled through her Instagram while she waited and then replied to a text from her Mum before she turned her phone off and waited in silence. He was quick as promised and when he came out the door he was looking devilishly handsome.
She felt her body react to it. Her cheeks turned pink, her pupils grew in want, and her hands itch to touch him. Her heart was hammering against her chest and she felt a familiar twist of want in her stomach. He was in a silky black shirt that was long and tight on his muscular arms, his buttons were undone and showed off his tattoos. Which reminded her of when he had his long hair and he was this pure sex god rockstar of a man. He had a pair of black flared pinstripe trousers to match and a pair of black boots with red detailing. He looked so good she wanted to faint. She felt her thighs squeeze in want and she sighed at herself, don’t be such a perv!
He had added some extra rings and jewels from his usual bundle. Something caught her eye. It was this golden pendant with a moon and star on it, she’d bought it for him for his 19th birthday, when they first started living together. She hadn’t seen him wear it in a long time, she’d forgotten she’d even bought the thing. Y/n remembered buying it. Harry had been with her, they were at a market full of random things looking for cheap furniture for their place.
They were walking past this large jewellery stall and both admired the rings and style. It was different from the normal places they’d seen. They had tonnes of it. A glint of something gold had caught her eye, it was that pendant. It was one of the only gold among the silver. She touched it in admiration and Harry peered over her shoulder, saying it was pretty and he liked it. Harry said he thought it was cool and matched a lot of his other jewellery. But without much thought, he walked off to look at some couches in the next stall.
Y/n knew his birthday was coming up and asked the jeweller how much it was. He was this eccentric gentleman, who smiled at her. Showing the matching ring to her which was very dainty and feminine that she didn’t even think would fit Harry’s fingers. She explained that she just wanted the necklace as a gift for someone. But he said that he would not sell either piece without the other. At the time he explained it was made for two lovers, so they’d always be together, but Y/n replied it was just for a friend, truly believing he was just trying to get more money out of her. But now looking back she and Harry loved wearing them and matching. It cost her more money than she could afford at the time but she was drawn to it. Something magical in the crafting of them.
Her hand reached over to touch his neck fingers touching the chain. “Oh, my god. I forgot about that.”
He grinned. “Found it the other day.”
She wished she knew where the ring was. “I remember that ol’ thing.” Sometimes when she was in the crowd or if Harry knew she was watching the show, in the early stages that is, he’d lift up the pendant and kiss it or touch his heart where it lay. Especially if he was playing a song Y/n liked (or that was secretly about her). Sweet Creature was one he wrote for her.
When they arrived in a rather fancy area of London with very expensive restaurants and hotels, Y/n could’ve laughed. They’d both grown up okay, but they were just normal working-class families and they weren’t spoiled. She wished she could go back and tell young Harry who was always working away on his singing that’d he’d be here. She wished she could run into the bakery and tell him he’d be the most famous man ever. Tell both the young kids who were working selling pastries and bread that they would be here in a short time, together.
The valet collected the car and Harry slinked his hand into hers when they stepped out, and Y/n thought she spotted someone giving them a double-take. They quickly entered the restaurant, and the concierge took their coats for them.
The restaurant was warm and heated, with all these crisp white tablecloths, mood lighting, and crystal glasses. The waiter immediately guided them to their table which was a fancy booth and Anne was already there waiting. She got up and instantly pulled Y/n into her arms.
“I’m so glad Harry brought you, Darling! It’s so good to see, look at that gorgeous face of yours.” She squeezed her cheeks and kissed her forehead leaving a big mauve-coloured lipstick stain there. Y/n grinned so big and pulled her back in for another hug whispering sweet comments.
Anne was so lovely, Y/n had always loved her. She made one of her favourite people, and it made sense why he was so respectful and kind. So perfect.
Harry was next to be welcomed, bending down to be fussed over in her arms. Anne questioned if he’d been eating enough and began a tangent of worried remarks. He was such a momma’s boy, he could only smile gently at her.
When Gemma and Michal arrived they greeted Y/n too with hugs and kind comments and once their meals arrived all her tensions eased. She now knew she had been silly to worry. Harry’s family were just as lovely as him. She knew that already and this pressure of her being his date was stupid. They already liked her, they knew her, and they’d seen her grow up beside Harry. She was just Y/n and he was just Harry.
They ate wonderful dinners and drank expensive brands of champagne, along with some fancy French dessert Y/n had never tried that Harry insisted she ate. It was a perfect night and she was sad to say goodbye to them all. When Harry dipped to the bathroom for a minute Anne pulled her aside.
“I’m so glad you two are getting closer again, you’ve always been my favourite of his girlfriends. And these cookies! So delicious, I love when you send them over at Christmas time. Harry steals the whole thing of them, usually. No one can keep their hands off them. Ever thought of selling them?”
“Thank you, Anne. Thanks for letting me come, I hope I didn’t intrude on your family night.” She didn’t have the heart to tell her otherwise. She wished she was one of his girlfriends and she was glad someone appreciated her cookies.
When Harry back came from the bathroom he saw Y/n hugging his mum, and his heart melted at the sight.
Y/n was good with people, and his family had always loved her. She was so gentle and well-mannered. Their Mums were very close too which helped. When they had drifted Anne still updated him that Y/n was doing well, and he was always pleased to hear that.
Harry said his goodbyes too and promised them something about bringing Y/n to another family catch-up, she just smiled warmly with pink cheeks at the idea. She was leaning into his side, his big arm draped over her shoulders as he kissed her temple.
The valet handed Harry the keys and they slid into his car before driving back home finally. It was around 10 in the evening and Y/n was absolutely blissful, her hand had found his lap stroking his thigh gently as a light patter of rain began to fall down on the windows.
“You were wonderful tonight. Mums’ always loved you though, Petal.” His eyes were on the road but he was grinning anyway — unable to contain it. He felt so fucking happy.
She grinned softly. She was pretty sure she was all heart eyes for him right now. She imagined she probably looked like one of those cartoons where the guy sees a pretty woman walking down the road and his eyes pop out and his head starts spinning.
“Thanks for bringing me, Harry. It was lovely. I had a really nice night.”
He looked at her as if to say ‘duh’, “Of course, I’d bring ya’ I know we didn’t talk for a while there, but I thought of you a lot. And y’know Mum, loves ya’. You’re very important to us all.”
She looked away from him blushing down at her free hand before nodding, and softly replying. “I thought of you too. Why didn’t you come to Mum’s New Year’s party? I waited for you the whole night…”
He sighed thinking back to what she was talking about.
“I was in Japan.” He replied. “I really did contemplate flying back just for the party, but I wasn’t sure if y’wanted me too.”
She looked over at him. “I didn’t know that.”
“I know.” He replied softly.
The rest of the car journey was quiet, the gentle hum of the radio played along with the sound of rain softly hitting the glass. Harry didn’t speak he just moved his hand onto his thigh where hers rested, giving it a squeeze.
It didn’t take long to arrive back at his house, Harry opened the door for her and they quickly rushed inside to avoid the rain it had grown heavier and more wild. Y/n stepped inside first with a sigh, and Harry was not far behind. His hands slid onto her hips and lower stomach, and he kissed her neck just below her ear.
She giggled, her hands finding his. He began to whisper sweet nothings to her but was cut off by her phone ringing. He grunted in annoyance but she said she had to take the call.
He didn’t let go of her, clinging to her childishly and nuzzling his head into her soft shoulder.
“Hi, Mum.” She said into the phone, Harry paused his touch.
He could hear the sound of Y/M/N over the phone muffled.
“Anne already told you?” Y/n wanted to laugh. She looked at Harry who sighed, of course, Anne had already rung Y/n’s Mum.
“No. We aren’t dating Mum. We are just friends.” She sighed. Harry chuckled.
They weren’t just friends now. Friends don’t make each other cum, they don’t kiss, or see each other naked, friends don’t do what they do. They were way past that line now. He knew her inside and out and now he knew her more intimately than anyone ever had. Harry wondered if he’d ever have the balls to approach the subject of their relationship and where he stood.
“Mum, we were never dating. Please stop telling people he’s my ex-boyfriend.” She laughed. Her Mum was a funny old thing.
“Okay, I gotta go now. Bye, Mum.”
The muffled voice spoke again.
“Yep. Yep. Okay. Love you too. Bye.” She let out a big sigh hanging up the phone.
Harry was taking off his shoes and belt, he seemed sleepy but content. He was sat on the couch, he’d turned the mood lighting on. It was this warm glowy orange hue that washed over the room. He looked up upon hearing the end of the conversation.
“What is it with Mums?” He teased her as leant back against the plush white sofa. Y/n described it as sitting on a cloud. She napped on it all the time. His legs were all spread out and his head was thrown back.
Harry was so fucking hot. All the time. Did he never get tired of looking so handsome?
She shrugged, walking over to sit beside him and threw her legs up so she was laying on his lap. Her cheek rested on his thigh, and Harry’s painted fingernails scratched the roots of her hair. She made a little content sigh, letting her eyes flutter shut. Him touching her was like heaven.
“Mm. Feels nice, Harry.” He let out a little chuckle. She was practically purring from his touch, all curled up on his lap. Her hands were resting on his knee, and he found himself admiring them. So dainty and delicate. Sometimes he pondered adding a ring to that finger of hers. He thought she’d be a very good person to grow old with. She loved routines and nights in, but she was witty and intelligent, though she loved simplicity she was definitely not boring. She kept you on your toes.
He wanted to stay like this forever. She was practically falling asleep in his lap, like putty in his hands. She made the odd sigh or moan in contentment every now and then as he let her destress.
She had been a bit stressed with Uni and her life at the moment, the work of it all was hard right now, so he wanted to do anything to help her calm down. The dinner had been a nice distraction for her, and she seemed a lot happier that evening than the text he had received from her that morning.
She rolled over to her other side so her face was near his hip nose grazing against his skin which smelt so fucking good — he used this expensive woodsy cinnamon soap it made her want to lick him all over. He continued his slow and delicate scratch on her head and his other hand rubbed her exposed back. Her hands moved to under his shirt, trailing along his fern tattoos and grazing the wisps of hair that lead underneath his waistband. Her nose grazed his skin as she tiredly nuzzled into him, feeling her eyes shut. She felt so safe in his lap and arms.
It was so domestic. They had become so domestic. He wished every day he could come home and say something cheesy like ‘Honey, I’m home!’ and scoop her up into his arms and kiss her silly. He longed for nights like this watching TV as she rested on his chest, moving with the rise and fall of his chest. He wanted the mornings too. When she grumpily didn’t want to wake up unless it was from kisses and a coffee.
“Do y’want some wine?” He asked her, his voice all raspy.
They’d only each had a glass of champagne with dinner which had long since faded. Leaving them very sober.
“Sure. Red?” She asked sitting up. Her hair was slightly messy from his playing with it.
He nodded his hand finding her chin and lifting it up. “Whatever y’want, Lovie.” He kissed her forehead before getting up and moving to the kitchen. She finally took her heels off and removed her scarf placing them on the floor. She stood up, feeling the soft rug on her sore feet.
She leaned down to the coffee table lighting some candles of his. She lit a soap-smelling one and then a lavender one. Then once she was happy with that she walked over to his records and looked for something nice to play.
She stumbled upon a Marvin Gaye one and she giggled to herself. It was kind of cheesy love making music, so she picked that one. She placed the record down on the turn table part and placed the stylus down. It began to hum a gentle sultry song and she moved back to the couch.
When Harry came back she was laying on the couch, spread out as she hummed along to Marvin Gaye. In his hands, he had a bottle red all the way from New Zealand and two pink-tinted wine glasses.
He laughed at her. “Look at yeh, Minx.” He teased.
She smiled up at him, her dress was hiked up and she looked like the embodiment of idleness. She sat up so he could join her and he poured them both a glass.
They only had two glasses each before Y/n started to droop tiredly against his shoulder. He found her particularly adorable like that. When he finished his final sip he helped her up so they could go to sleep, he blew out the candles too. She followed him lazily up the stairs and into the bedroom, arms wrapped around his waist and tummy.
He found a random Fleetwood Mac shirt and some grey tracksuit pants for her to wear in one of his messy drawers.
She changed out of the dress and was so happy to get her bra off. It was this pretty lacy one that had Harry frothing at the mouth. Her undies followed once he began to change as well. He found a pair of black silky sleeping pants and didn’t bother with a top.
She followed him to the ensuite and found the cotton pads and makeup remover he had just for her. She began to wipe off the makeup and was glad to be rid of it. He was brushing his teeth silently beside her and she watched him through the mirror. He caught her and gave her a wink.
She just made a little kissy face in response. He smiled against the toothbrush, a rim of foam around his lips. Once she was done with all that she threw the rubbish into the small bin beside the toilet.
“Do you have face wash?” She said quietly.
He nodded, spitting into the sink. “Just up there.” He pointed to the cupboard which was also the mirror.
She opened it, rising on her tip toes for a second.
“Blue.” He replied. She squinted trying to find the blue bottle, he had an array of skincare products. She saw a big dark blue bottle, she reached for it and he nodded showing her that was the right one.
They both washed their faces together and he smiled watching it foam up against her skin. Once they had washed their faces Y/n finally brushed her teeth and they went to bed.
She sighed slipping into the big fluffy bed. He had some pale blue sheets on this week. He slid in beside her wrapping his strong arms around her and pulling her into him. He nuzzled his face into her neck and shoulder, the very slight stubble nipping her skin.
The backs of her thighs pressed against the front of his, her bum pressed up nicely against his soft silky pants and his hands squeezed the soft plump of her tummy in comfort. It wasn’t particularly late, but they loved to be inside Harry’s big bed and just cuddle.
“Y’were just perfect tonight. How someone hasn’t swept y’up and kept yeh I dunno…” He whispered kissing the top of her header, nose brushing against her hair, inhaling her shampoo.
She flushed. “No one’s really tried, H.” He made her heart pick up at the comment. This man and his flattery.
“Lucky f’me. Means I can have ya’ all ta’ myself.” It was meant as a joke, but honestly, he selfishly did want her all to himself. She was so perfect.
She giggled. “Lucky you.”
He squeezed her closer and tighter. She giggled some more, wriggling in his grip. One of his hands moved to her upper thigh. She stopped and leaned into the touch. They didn’t talk they just started to relax into a sleepy silence, the chilly air making them want to bask in each other’s warmth even more.
He kissed her shoulder every now and then soothingly and Y/n shut her eyes. Basking in the feeling of him. His presence made her feel so safe she wanted to sleep often.
“Harry, do you ever think about how long we’ve known each other?” She asked randomly, as his hands continued to rub her body feeling her soft skin against his palms.
“All the time, Petal. Why?” He said softly, his voice was all raspy and gravelly. It made her feel something in the pit of her stomach. He made it even harder for her not to beg for him, this waiting game felt like edging.
“It’s just funny to me how much we have changed, but also how little we have too. I mean we’ve known each other since what? Daycare? And that little boy is still you…”
He understood exactly what she meant. Some things would never change about Harry even with age. Like, he would always be kind and always make an effort. He would always have 3 sugars in his tea unlike, Y/n who would prefer none. He would always enjoy cheesy romance films and love the idea of love. He will always admire old couples walking down the street. And she would always see the more practical side to love.
She thought back to when they were younger teenagers and how he was rather distant from her in the sense that they were in the same friend group but funnily enough never really talked alone. Then she remembered that in their final year at school Harry, who had refused to dance with anyone else, asked Y/n to dance with him because he knew she’d been waiting for the boy she fancied to ask her all night. Sitting all pretty by herself, feeling like her efforts had been a waste. Only to find herself in the hands of him, spinning and laughing underneath the disco ball.
Then in University when they found out they were going to the same place they naturally found an apartment together, with a slight push from their mothers. Who felt at ease knowing their babies would have each other. Which was weird at first but soon they were at a furniture shop testing mattresses and giggling.
She never felt uncomfortable around Harry, but once she was close to him she knew she was done for. She knew that for the rest of her life, she’d want him. Crave him close to her. He kind of felt that too, but in a different sense.
It was more like they kept finding each other unplanned. During school they’d had so many lessons together, sitting with each other quietly. After school, his Mum had her family over for a meal. Then sometimes at the bakery, where they served familiar faces, and between breaks they sipped hot chocolate together. At the end of year dance Y/n and Harry were the only two without dates, and so he danced with her. When University rolled around no one else was going, and of course, Y/n had accidentally by luck of the draw picked the same school as him. They both happened to need a roommate and then they were roommates, then finally best friends. It was as simple as that, it just fell into place with her. He never forced anything.
Oh, how he loved those memories of being her roommate and best friend. Whenever he thought back to those times he couldn’t help but grin. Neither had ever anticipated anything that would happen — him famous, and her here with him, cuddled in bed.
“It’s like we can’t not be in each other’s lives. You’re always there for me, showing up.” Was all he could manage to say.
It’s true, when they had drifted and he did a tour for his first album she came to a show with her own money.
Anne had called her up explaining in a panic how nervous he was for this tour. It was his first without the band. So, with little thought Y/n went in support because no one else could make it, Anne and Gemma both had stuff they couldn’t back out of. Anne knew Y/n would do it for Harry. Everyone knew she’d do just about anything for him except, well, him.
She was in the front row, dressed in a familiar outfit that took him back in time. It was this lavender dress from their school days. She’d worn it to the dance. It was bouncy and had big puffy sleeves, all short and fluffy.
He hadn’t expected it at all.
He came out, dancing and going wild for one of his louder and more upbeat songs. When he finally greeted the crowd he scanned them and said politely. “Hi, I’m Harry!”
She rolled her eyes. How was he still so devilishly charming?
He spotted something familiar, someone, familiar. Her eyes, her smile, and that dress took him back. Suddenly he felt like he was at home, in Holmes Chapel and he was just singing karaoke with his old friends.
“Y/n?!” He said with a grin. Completely shocked, he shook his head in a puppydog like manner. The few longtime fans in the crowd cheered loudly, knowing her from photos off his Instagram. Anne had a few up on her Instagram too and they seemed to love Y/n in the comments (mainly).
She waved at him. Mouthing, “Hi, H!” She couldn’t contain her smile.
She could see in his eyes how much it meant to him. They got all glassy and soft. Even if they hadn’t spoken in a while she calmed him down immediately. He hadn’t realised how much having her there would calm him.
She was like chamomile tea, a warm bed, all things nice and calming.
“Thank you for being here, for those of you who don’t know, Y/n is a very old friend of mine. We worked together in a bakery.” He jested.
Y/n giggled.
It felt right for him to sing this song next, “This next one is Sweet Creature.”
“I’ll always be there for you, H. You know that.” She said tenderly.
He rolled her around to face him so he could see her pretty face spewing these kind words. This deep pensive look in his eye. “I’m…I’m really glad you’re here with me…in this moment…this time in my life. I never really noticed how mundane life felt until you came back into mine.”
She felt herself melt like ice cream sitting in the blistering sun during a summer day. She kind of wanted to cry at how sweet he was. Harry wasn’t even her boyfriend but shit these feelings. They were real. Her body went even softer in his arms.
She lifted her hands up from her sides to his cheeks pushing his head down so she could lean in and place a kiss on his forehead. His hair smelt delicious like soap and peppermint.
He hadn’t expected that but he felt himself flush pink. The innocent touches are what made him blush the most. She was so gentle with him.
“Oh, Harry.” She sighed, pulling away and tucking a stray curl of his behind his ear. “Me too.”
He smiled leaning forward. “Can I kiss you?”
Y/n rolled her eyes teasingly. “Of course.”
His hands slid around to her back, blunt nails scratching her skin perfectly underneath the Fleetwood Mac shirt. He leaned forward into her lightly pecking her puffy lips, remaining very gentle at first. Her hands moved to his neck fiddling with the hair that rested there as she leaned into him. She threw her leg up to his hip and he moved one of his hands to stroke it gently. It was so soft and romantic.
As the kiss began to deepen she gripped his shoulders trying to press her chest even closer to his wanting to be as close to him as possible. He hummed softly, feeling her tits press into him. Her nipples were hard and he wanted them in his mouth.
“Mm, you’re perfect.” He muttered against her lips.
She smiled into the kiss, and he used that as an excuse to slip his tongue in ever so slightly. That’s when the kiss began to grow more fiery and passionate. He nibbled her lip and pulled her body even closer letting her roll on top of him as she mewled.
Her hips rocked needily against his silky pants and he moved his kisses down her jaw and neck peppering them frenziedly, loving the little whimpers and whines that escaped her lips. Which only spurred him on to continue further down to the top of her chest.
The way she was rocking against him was making him lose his mind. Her hands clawed his chest as she whispered quietly. “Please, Harry.”
This tension had been building for weeks. She wanted him so fucking badly. It was always on her mind, and it was honestly distracting. She’d been trying to write an Essay that morning and all she could think of was him, and in a horny flurry, she imagined him bending her over the desk. Making her scream with pleasure as he often did.
“S’good f’me, Baby.” He breathed out. Hands finding her hips now, forcing them harder against him. Thinking filthy thoughts of him burying himself in her dripping pussy.
Her lips pressed into his shoulder and then slowly moved down the side of his body, kissing along his tattoos, biting and licking some parts of his tanned bare skin. Until she was finally by his waistband, her pink chipped fingernails teased his snail trail of hair that led to underneath the silk. His skin was so soft there.
His eyes became all hooded, animalistic-like. He was looking at her like he wanted to eat her. But he remained calm and gentle with touches. His hands found her hair, all his rings were off so she felt no sting of metal on her skin. His fingers were running through it delicately and moving it away from her beautiful face.
“Prettiest girl in the world.” He muttered and she blushed resting her cheek on his thigh.
“Thank you, Baby.” She sighed.
She only ever let those pet names slip during these moments and it made him so fucking needy for her. He just smiled softly, at ease. “Of course.”
“Can I taste you, H? Please?”
He let his eyes shut and he softly whined as her hand palmed against his pant-covered cock. He was stiff beneath her touch, and she could feel him throbbing at the contact. “You can do whatever you want to me, Angel.”
She giggled teasingly giving his prick a firmer squeeze. “Don’t promise me that. We’ll never leave this bed.”
He took a shaky breath at her words, she was just so fucking hot without even trying. She literally just spoke her mind, and it had him frothing.
“Is that a threat or a promise?” He replied breathily.
He opened his eyes, thinking back to all those nights in school when he’d dreamt of her sexually. He’d felt guilty a lot of the time for it of course, but she was just so fucking pretty and sexy without realising it. Like when they went swimming during the summer and she wore this cute little pink floral bikini, he would go home and in the summer heat, he would imagine it was her wrapped around him. He’d probably wanked to every filthy fantasy he’d ever had. Her sucking him off, maybe him fucking her throat watching tears spill from her eyes. Him eating her pretty pussy and making her feel so good she saw stars. Making love to her softly and romantically as she deserved, and sometimes he thought of fucking her roughly and needily. In different positions for hours. All the ones he could think of. But every time he came, he’d come back to and realise it was just his fist and not her mouth, hand, or precious pussy.
But now she was here in front of him, eyes all big looking up at him, ready and eager to take him into her mouth. She was real and she wanted him.
“Yes, Angel.” He rasped.
These moments always felt surreal to him. Especially because of how well they knew each other, now that they had started to explore each other’s bodies it was the most vulnerable they had ever been. No one would ever know them better than each other.
Which is why her hand that was ghosting over his thick cock made him feel so close already from a mere touch.
She was dream-like.
“Mmm.” He whined. He was sensitive to her touch always, but tonight it was more than usual. They both pulled his pants off together so she could rest between his thighs, her mouth right in front of his leaking pink tip.
She was feeling a bit more vocal tonight. He loved it. “You have such a pretty dick, Harry. So big and veiny.”
He laughed softly, his hand running through his hair which had fallen into his eyes. “You think so?”
“I never really thought I could actually feel that way until I saw yours. It’s so pretty like the rest of you. It makes sense you have such a nice cock, it matches.” This new side to her had him dying in want.
God, he just wanted her so badly. He wanted to feel those pink slick lips around his cock, and watch her take him into her tight throat. Last night he’d even cum to the thought in the shower.
“You’re so sweet to me, Bun.”
She gave a gentle smile in response before shuffling closer to his glistening prick. Pursing her lips slightly as a string of spit dripped landing on the ruddy head, his breath hitched at the contact. His hands gripped the sheets roughly. When she finally leaned down close to him she did a signature kiss like always. The sight alone was enough to make him cum.
“Such a good girl for me, Baby.” He muttered his hands coming up to her hair pulling it away so he could see her adorable face as she kitten licked against his slick shaft. Her face was flushed pink like always when they’d been kissing, so pretty. She clenched her thighs at that comment and he noticed, very well aware now how much she loved his praise. Loved being told she was good for him, because she truly wanted to be good for him.
Leaning down further she fully enveloped his tip into her mouth, her tongue was a welcome contact against him and he whined loudly. “Fuck.” He said softly and involuntarily throwing his head back.
She had gained more confidence since that night on New Year’s Eve, she knew how he liked and had learnt to make him cum in mere minutes now. She had learnt to take most of him in her mouth too. Which she was surprised she could do considering how large he was.
As she swallowed him deeper into her mouth he heard a little choking sound as she went deeper than usual. Her nose grazed his navel and he cried out. She was taking him so fucking deep, the trail of hair tickled her noise.
“Shit, just like that sweet girl, so fucking good, deep. Fuck.”
She began bobbing her head faster and could feel him throb against her tongue, she would never be used to how large she was ever but she had started to learn ways to take him. He moaned loudly, unable to contain himself at her rapid pace. She pulled up for air for a second her hand coming down to stroke his slick cock at the loss of her throat so he wouldn’t miss her touch.
“H, y’can guide my head, it’s okay. I wanna make y’feel good. Move your hips too if that’s what you want.” She said slightly out of breath, spit and precum dribbled down her chin.
He looked at her eyes for reassurance and he saw a content look in them. “Okay, Love, just tap my legs if it’s too much.”
She nodded. “Ok, H.”
He smiled and she moved back down, taking a deep breath before she took him back into her mouth. He sighed, “Ah, mm.”
His hands had moved into her hair holding her head soft yet firm on his cock, when she made it to about halfway around him her tongue was swirling delicately against his engorged prick and he felt so close to cumming already. It had only been a few minutes.
She was struggling to stop her legs from squeezing together, his sounds made her so wet she felt herself dripping down her thighs. He began to gently guide her head into a bobbing rhythm and he felt a drip of precum fall out his head and he knew if they’d kept this up in another few minutes he’d cum.
“Oh god, Y/n, your so fucking perfect taking me like this. Letting me use you.” He uttered, “Such a good girl letting me take your mouth like this. So filthy. My filthy girl.”
She moaned softly against his twitching cock and he whined, pulling her head up off him. She took a large breath in. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” She said quickly.
He shook his head quickly. “No, you were fucking perfect, I just don’t want to cum yet.”
She looked at him, eyes all doe-like and lips sticky with his slick. Cocking her head to the side, “Why not?”
He moved his hands to her shoulders. “Let me take care of you, I wanna make you feel good. You’ve been so good for me today. Such a sweet little thing. Let me take of my sweet girl.”
My sweet girl. Y/n felt her heart skip a beat.
She listened but pouted at his request. Sad his cum wasn’t down her throat. “Harryyy,” She whined.
“What is it, Love, hmm?” But he knew full well what she was whining about. It had been apparent from the first night that Y/n loved his cum. She loved making him cum. In her mouth, on her tits, whatever he wanted. She often daydreamed of it in other places. Harry knew this.
She just continued to pout. “Enough whining. Be good f’me.” He ordered. “Let me take care of you. ”
Her face remained pouty but she spread her legs for him anyway and he yanked her pants down in one motion, she opened her legs for him widely and his hands stroked her thighs feeling the soft skin there. He motioned for her to take her shirt off as well. She threw it across the room.
He moved his hand up to her mouth tapping against her wet lips, he did that when he wanted her to suck on them. She opened her mouth for his fingers making sure to swirl her tongue around them just to tease him a bit. He moved his eyes from her glistening pussy to her mouth and cheeky expression. He pulled them away. The popping noise made him smirk.
“I don’t exactly need the help, you’re already dripping for me.” He teased, running his newly lubricated fingers against her puffy clit.
She moaned as her hips stuttered against his gentle hand. He laughed at her.
She wanted to be embarrassed but this being the millionth time Harry was between her legs she had given up hiding how wet he made her. Most mornings he wanted to start the day that way, right between her soft thighs pressing into his cheeks.
“How could I not be, Harry? You drive me mad.” She replied her hands moving to his hair.
He smirked biting his lip. The heat of his breath made her squirm against him and his nose bumped her swollen clit. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss there. The taste of her was sweet and tangy on his tongue, and he was addicted. He began to lap up all the leaking arousal, making a filthy sound in his silent room.
Her moans were soft and freely escaping her mouth, thighs squeezing against him as she tugged on his soft hair. She felt at complete ease underneath his harsh tongue.
All her stress was melting away with his lick and suck, this was such a good outlet for her worries. She only thought of him. His mouth, his moans, and his prick.
“Harry,” She whimpered at the feel of his firm tongue. “Shit.” She breathed throwing her head back into his pillows, screwing her eyes shut.
She felt his fingers glide up and down against her weeping hole until he finally slipped one inside. Feeling her clench against him firmly, he wished he was inside of her right now. Her velvety walls were so wet against his hand and he felt her dribble onto his hand as he began to speed up his thrusts. He added another finger.
His tongue didn’t stop suckling on her clit and curled his fingers against her, feeling the way her pussy stuttered against his fingers in an irregular clench. A telltale sign she was getting close to the brink of her orgasm.
“Jesus, Harry, how are you s’good at tha’? Think m’gonna cum soon.” She purred as her hips lifted up and her back arched off the bed.
He pulled his mouth back for a moment, his fingers speeding up and going deeper, as he rasped from wet lips. “S’okay Baby, cum for me, let go. Be good n’ cum f’me. I want it.”
She let out a mewling whine, tugging his hair harder. It was as if his words was the final thing she needed before she felt the start of her pleasure rise in her stomach.
He quickly moved his mouth back down and felt her puffy clit throb against his tongue and a drip of her slick fell down his chin as she let out a guttural cry.
A wave of bliss spasmed from her stomach to her stretched-out pussy, and she felt it pulsate over her entire body. Her eyes squeezed shut and she tugged his hair hard enough that he grunted against her.
“M’cumming! Fuck!” She felt lightheaded.
He pulled up for air, pumping his fingers quickly. “Good girl.” He praised breathily. Spent from working hard to make her cum.
When he felt her come down fully from the high of her climax he pulled his fingers out and licked them clean. “Mmm. I love how you taste, Petal. Sweet.”
She let her thighs drop in fatigue and she lifted her hand to her sweating forehead. Her blissed expression made him grin.
“Fucking hell, Harry.” Her tummy clenched at his words.
Her hand grabbed his shoulder and he moved back on top of her pulling her into a chaste kiss. She could taste the tang of herself on his lips. His tongue slid against hers and he tasted of her. She moaned softly into his mouth. He pulled back, “You’re so beautiful.”
She bumped her nose into his. “Harry?”
He kissed her jaw, “Yeah, Love?”
“I want you inside of me. Please.” She sighed, pupils dilated. “I want to be close to you, Harry.”
“Are you sure?”
She mewled. “I want you so bad, Baby. Please.”
How could he say no to her? She was all sweet and whiny, and her naked in his bed. “Okay. I want that too.”
He pecked her lips softly before pulling away. “Gimme one second.”
He got up off the bed and moved over to his bedside table finding a box of matches and lighting the few candles he had there.
She giggled at him. “What are you doing?”
He just grinned, “Making it special, Lovie.”
She felt her chest flutter and a big toothy grin made its way to her face. Harry knew that Y/n was more practical, he was the hopeless romantic out of the two of them. But he wanted to make Y/n feel special, he wanted to be sappy for her.
He got up again walking into his cupboard.
“What else are you up to back there?!” She said with a giggle.
When he came back out he had a bag with something in it. It was hard for her to see because it was dark. She squinted trying to understand.
“Hold on stay there.” He said nipping his lip, he grabbed a handful of contents from the bag. Before throwing them onto the bed around her.
She opened her eyes looking to her sides under the dim light, plucking one up in between her fingers. “Is that rose petals?”
“Yeah.” He smiled, scratching his neck nervously. “I know it’s cheesy, but I wanted you to feel special.”
She couldn’t believe he went to all that effort.
“Anything else?” She prodded.
He smirked. “One more thing.” He pulled something out from behind his back. It was one of those cheap plastic roses and he put the stem in his teeth and raise his brows.
She laughed loudly, gently pushing his shoulder. “You are so corny!”
He pulled the rose out of his mouth, offering it to her goofily, feigning a gentlemanly gesture. “Thank you for allowing me the pleasure of being the first. I feel so lucky. It’s truly a privilege.”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh shoosh.”
“I’m serious. I know it’s silly, but I feel grateful that I can be with you in this way. You’re my best friend. You’re very special to me.” He said tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She leaned into the warmth of his palm.
“You’re my best friend, H. I wouldn’t want anyone else to be my first. I trust you.”
He felt his heart swell and he moved back on top of her. His arms were straight beside her head.
“Kiss me please.” She said breathily.
He moved his face closer, nose bumping into hers as he pecked her top lip. She met him in the kiss her hands glided over to his shoulders. Both their eyes fluttered shut.
There was little urgency in their kiss, though Y/n felt herself ache for him but she felt no urge to rush him. Harry always liked to take his time. He used his free hand to slide down to her hip gently squeezing the flesh there.
He started to scatter his kisses down along her jaw and nipped her ear. She sighed softly letting a moan slip in contentment. Her hands moved to his hair softly massaging his head.
His kisses travelled further down to her neck and he sucked harshly against her nipping the soft skin, she hissed in pleasure and he licked back over the spot to soothe her. Her pretty sighs of contentment made him smile against her skin.
His lips grazed further down across her chest and he could hear the pounding of her heart.
“Are y’nervous, Bun?” He asked, eyes looking up to meet hers.
She looked down at him. “A little but, I don’t need to be do I?”
“No, it’s just me.”
She smiled, moving a curl away from his forehead, “Just Harry.”
“Exactly, just me. But you know that if you wanna stop at any time you tell me. Or if it hurts, or for any reason just say it and I’ll stop. We can just cuddle, I won’t mind.” He replied.
“I know, I will.” She said.
“Good girl.” He kissed her heaving chest as he moved further down lapping her nipple up into his mouth.
She squirmed her hips against the thigh that rested between her legs, he could feel how wet she was against his bare skin. “Ah,” She cried softly.
His free hand massaged the tit that wasn’t in his mouth softly. Her back arched into his touch. “Oh, Harry, you are so good at that. Fuck.”
He chuckled lightly moving back up to her face. “You ready?”
She nodded. “Mhmm.”
He kissed her forehead in response, pulling off her.
“Where are you going?” She grabbed his arms.
“To get a condom.”
“No, it’s okay,”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
He felt his prick twitch at her words.
“Okay.”
Her legs wrapped around his waist and he moved his free hand down to grab ahold of himself. She felt the head of his cock pulsating against her sensitive clit. “M’ gonna go slow, okay?”
She nodded, her chest heaving into his. “Mmkay.” She breathed.
He dragged the tip down to her weeping hole, hissing at the contact of it.
“You okay?” She asked.
He pressed his forehead into hers. “Yeah, you?”
She nodded.
That was enough reassurance for him to start to slip inside, his cock was so heavy in need. Even though he had gotten her more comfortable and stretched for him with his fingers it still stung as he pushed inside.
Only the head of him was inside and she already felt so stretched.
“S’big.” She muttered.
He was going very slowly, his eyes trained on her face, and the pinched expression she was sporting. Worried that it was too painful. Knowing he was rather large.
He grabbed her hand and squeezed it, and she squeezed back. “Keep going, please.” She said.
He nodded in reply, slowly pushing his hips further. She sighed in discomfort, feeling the veins of him against her. She clenched and he hissed. Pushing further, he felt his cock splitting her open.
He noticed her eyes were glassy and a tear slipped from her eye as she bit her lip.
“Do you want me to stop?” He asked rushedly.
She shook her head. “No, keep going, just stings a bit.” She tried to explain.
“Are you sure?”
She nodded, “Mhm.”
He rocked forward and he felt him slip into her further. “M’nearly there, Love,” He soothed, kissing her temple.
When he rutted one final thrust his balls pressed against her ass. They both whimpered at the contact.
Her eyes were dilated as she felt completely full of him. “Shit, Harry.” Her legs were wrapped around his lower back holding him close.
“You’re so tight, fuck me,” He whined. She was clenching rythmically around his throbbing prick.
“You can move,” She knew that soon the pain would become pleasure, it would melt away soon, it was already beginning too.
He buried his face in the side of her neck, smelling her perfume and natural scent as he moans grew louder muffled by her shoulder. His thrusts began shallow and slow and she whined loudly. Her arms wrapped around the expanse of his back and she scratched along his shoulderblades.
He hissed at the pain, loving the sting.
“Harry,” She cried out when he started to speed up into her, ramming against her sensitive spongey spot that made her lose her mind, he was the only one who could reach that deep inside of her. She felt him all the way in her stomach. She was already sensitive from her previous orgasm and was keening at the feeling of his slow needy rutting.
He whined at the feel of her clamping down on him. “Fuck, Y/n.”
The pain had subsided to pleasure, the sting hardly noticeable now. She squeezed his shoulder, “Feels good, H.”
He started to speed up now, pounding into her at a ruthless speeed. “Shit, Baby, feel s’good on m’cock.”
He was needily moving into her, as his head remained buried by her neck breathing in the delicious sent of her. It had been a long time since he’d had sex and since he had only been with Y/n for these few months now he’d only had blowies or handjobs, which were great don’t get him wrong, but nothing and I mean nothing compared to her wet tight pussy. God, he’d dreamed of it. Nights and nights he’d lay awake dreaming of it. Dreamed of burying himself in there deeply, and the little sounds it would make.
He knew the right thing to do was to wait, and he was so glad he did. But it meant he was worried he might cum inside her already, the tension building all this time meant he was so pent up. He just wanted to release all his sexual frustrations from these past few months. She was so perfect against his cock, like it was made to wrap around him.
“Like this pussy was made for me.” He rambled.
“I can feel you in my tummy, H.” She whined shutting her eyes, and he pulled up from her should moving his hand to press onto the now bulging flesh of her tummy. With each pump he felt her clench against his prick and saw the faint bulge of his cock. He could feel himself with each thrust, as they both moaned.
He moved that hand from her tummy down lower to her swollen clit that was begging for attention. Rubbing harsh circles and her hips twitched. “Oh god, Harry,”
He wanted to feel her cum on his cock, he was desprate for the feeling, he could already tell she was getting closer to the brink from the stimulation on her puffy senstive clit and his thick prick pounding into her. The clamping of her pussy was growing irregular and when his thrusts went particularly deep inside of her, her eyes rolled back.
She felt euphoric, this white blistering hot feeling was shooting through her from head to toe.
She was honestly surprised how good he made her feel, when she was younger and all her friends were losing their virginities they told her it hurt and that it was awkward. Or that they didn’t cum, and there was no foreplay. She had expected that Harry would know what he was doing, but even that didn’t live up to this moment. She had also known that it may not be as pleasurable until later on but she was feeling like she was on cloud fucking nine.
“You’re so pretty, such a pretty little thing.” He mumbled as he placed some kisses down her neck and along her collarbone.
She mewled her back arching into him. “Oh, fuck,” she whispered with a slight disbeleif in her eyes, “think you’re gonna make me cum, Baby.”
He watched her with a sultry grin, as her eyes screwed shut and the hands that were on his back started to scratch along the tan flesh once again much sharper. “Don’t stop,” She panted.
“Such a good girl f’me. Y’gonna come on my cock?” He asked teasingly, with a pant.
She could only whine in response, biting her lip at the intensity.
“Atta’ girl. Be a good girl and cum on m’cock.” He praised.
She started to shake, the feeling of his fingers still on her clit was pushing her to her orgasm. Her tummy clenched and she couldn’t contain her hips from squirming up into his. This intense wave of bliss rushed through her as waves of pleasure melted from her chest to her stomach all the way down to her throbbing pussy that was wrapped around him.
Her heart was thumping in her chest as her entire body twitched in delight and climax. His prick never stopped it's pounding as he let her orgasm ride out. It was longer than the first one and like nothing she had ever felt before. She’d only dreamt of this kind of pleasure and usually Harry was the one giving it too her. She felt like it was an out of body experience, her head became lightheaded and stars appeared in her vision. She hadn’t even heard her self crying out, until she came back too.
He slowed down to allow her a moment to catch her breath. Her pussy felt so senstive that even these more gentle and tame strokes had her basically sobbing with pleasure.
“I’m close, Sweet girl,” He hissed and he began to speed up once more now his thrusts were sloppy and an uneven rhythm. Her orgasm had made him lose any last bit of control he had.
She could barely speak she was so spent. “Please,” She didn’t know what exactly she was begging for.
He pushed his lips into hers and trapped her in a kiss, her hands found their way into his thick hair which was coated in a light dampness from sweat. She moaned against them and he was whimpering into her swollen lips. He pulled his lips off hers for a moment as he whimpered a desprate, “Gonna’ cum.”
She managed to breath out a soft, “Cum for me Harry,”
The delicacy of her voice made him lose it and he felt his cock twitch in release, hot spurts of his cum shot up inside her and she felt him fill her up completely. He whimpered the most despratelty she’d ever heard and his head fell into her neck. “Fuck,” He breathed.
Her pussy was still clenched around him tightly. “That was…wow.”
She giggled. “That was perfect.”
He lifted up from her shoulder and captured her lips into a kiss. It was long and tender and much softer than then the urgent act they’d just comitted. He itched to say it, those three words, but all that came out was.
“You’re gorgeous, Y/n.”
“Thank you, Harry,”
He kissed her forehead. “Come on, let's clean you up.”
if you enjoyed please follow me to see the next parts coming soon ily 🫶 feel free to check out my masterlist xxx & feel free to request me too!!
#harry styles#harry styles angst#harry styles smut#harry styles x reader#harry styles x y/n#fwb!harry#nostringsattachedseriesbylilystyles#virgin!reader x harry styles#harrys house#lilystyles
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My Sunshine
Summary - Things are getting bad again and you know Joel would be there to help you in the blink of an eye, but you can't help but feel guilty for even feeling this way - so burdening him with your emotions is out of the question. You try to hide how you feel from him, but you know you can't. He knows you too well.
A/N: SO. i am positively struggling at the moment. with life and just everything. and my lonely ass is in need of some comfort, especially when i feel like.. yk, shit. and feeling like doing shit to myself which is not very good 😊. but i could not find a single comforting fic about self harm, and i get that it’s a very sensitive subject - but my god i need this comfort so please let me indulge for a moment.
And going back to how self harm is a very sensitive subject - please heed the warnings and tread carefully. this entire thing is about self harm and comfort when struggling with it, so please be cautious.
Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader (could possibly be read as gn but I've used things like sweet girl and his girl so)
Word count: 2.1k
Warnings: self harm (not explicitly described or anything, but reader struggles with it), fluff, comfort, established relationship, angst, one mention of drugs (i used it as a.. simile, or whatever, nobody’s taking or has taken any drugs!), crying, kisses, pet names, bad thoughts, questioning the purpose of life, brief perspective change, INCREDIBLY BRIEF MENTION OF SMUT (one word.)
DO NOT COPY THIS FIC IN ANY WAY PLS AND TY.
Joel opens the door with a sigh, toeing off his boots and calling out your name as he walks into the living room, wanting nothing more than to wrap his arms around you, breathe in your comforting scent and bask in your equally comforting embrace after a hard day of work. Normally you’d be in the living room, watching TV, maybe reading a book, or in the kitchen, cooking dinner, baking something new you’d found on the internet. But you weren’t today. It’s eerily quiet and he calls out your name again, breaking the silence with his loud voice as he walks up the stairs.
“Dariln’?” He asks as he pushes open the door to your bedroom; you’re not there either. He’s ready to start panicking since he’s checked just about every room of the house when he hears your voice coming from the bathroom.
“Just a minute!” You say, and he exhales with relief when you walk out of the room and up to him, giving him a small smile. It’s one of those smiles which doesn’t make your face look brighter or your eyes crinkle at the corners, no, it’s one of those smiles which you offer to him quickly to reassure him that everything’s okay, please don’t worry about me when you’re probably so stressed already.
“How was work?” You ask as your arms come around his neck and you hug him, breathing him in, holding him a little tighter than usual.
“Was a little tiring today, our supplier messed up the size of the headers and- Sorry, probably don’t mean nothin’ to ya.” He trailed off with a sheepish smile as his right hand came to the back of your neck, tilting your head back a bit so he could kiss you.
You melted into the kiss, eyes fluttering closed as you lost yourself in it. No matter how many times you kissed him, you’d never get enough of the feeling that came with it. Joel's kiss was like a drug, and you were addicted.
His hands skim up your sides but you pull back abruptly, wrinkling your nose. “You smell, Joel. Go shower.” You chuckle weakly and hit him playfully on the chest.
“Mm, I thought you like ‘em a little dirty?” He teased, making you scoff and shake your head as a smirk crept onto your lips.
“Not today. Get.” You told him sternly, still smiling nonetheless as he walked past you to go shower. The smile slipping from your face with ease as the door slides shut behind you.
A few hours later, showers have been taken, dinner made and eaten, and the both of you are now sat on the couch. Joel decided it was a good idea to watch a movie, putting on his favourite - Curtis and Viper 2 - much to your dismay. You swore that you’ve seen this damn movie so many times you’d be able to quote the entire thing word for word, but he still put it on, insisting that it was a classic and it wasn’t like you had any better ideas anyway.
You'd both come to learn that during movie nights, you'd always end up either falling asleep on his shoulder or you were both fucking before even the halfway mark.
Tonight you were curled into Joel's side, silently watching the movie with him. Well, not really watching the movie, just kind of watching the screen. Staring at the pixels and letting the sounds of the film and the world around you in through one ear, out the other.
You were lost in your thoughts, that was happening more often nowadays, mindlessly picking at your nails as you pondered on questions that were far too heavy to ponder this late at night. What's the point of life if we're all going to die one day? Why am I always so hopeless? Why can I never find the purpose in anything? Why am I getting worse at hiding these bad feelings? What if I get too miserable one day and Joel stops loving me? What if I'm just a burden to him?
The final two questions hit you hard, making you do a sharp inhale as you suddenly sit up, startling Joel in the process.
He turns to face you wearily, eyebrows furrowed. “Baby? What's wrong?” He asks quietly, arm coming around you and pulling you back into his side as he kisses your hair.
“‘s nothing. Sorry. Just tired- I think I'm gonna go to sleep.” You mumble, gently extracting yourself from his hold.
He frowns deeper. “Y’ don't wanna stay with me and finish the movie? Even though I know you weren't watching.” He attempts to tease lightly, wanting to lift the mood.
“No, um- you stay and watch it, that's okay. I'm gonna go to sleep now. Goodnight.” You say hurriedly, forgetting to even give him a goodnight kiss before you're up the stairs and in the bedroom, closing the door a little too quickly and praying the slam of it didn't further his concern.
Your back is pressed against the door as you grip the handle tight, eyes squeezing shut as you try to slow your breathing. It's not working, and you just want it to stop. You don't want to be upset, you don't want to feel like you're drowning in your own emotions again, you don't want Joel to find you crying upstairs in your room.
And the only thing you can think of doing is harming yourself. It's been on your mind a lot recently, as your sadness starts to get a little bit too much and you can't find any way to extinguish it. It feels like it's consuming you and you can only think about the last time things got like this. About how you dealt with it.
It would be so easy. You knew how to do it. But you couldn't bring yourself to. You'd be failing him, you saw how upset he was when he found out what you were doing last time and you didn't want to make him feel bad ever again.
You just didn't want to be a burden.
The door slams upstairs and Joel’s frown deepens. His hand goes for the remote, turning off the TV. He's seen this movie enough times, he thinks.
He slowly goes up the stairs and makes his way to your bedroom, wanting to make sure everything's okay.
You were definitely a little off tonight, zoning out and not being as talkative as you normally were, giving him a reason to already be a little concerned. Then you practically ran upstairs a minute ago, seeming panicked and making him worry even more.
He's at the door now, gently coaxing it open, and he's met with darkness. Darkness and silence.
He whispers your name, closing the door behind him as he flicks the light switch on, jumping slightly when he sees that you're right there, sat on the edge of the bed.
You turn to face him and he immediately notices how your face is wet with tears, eyes swollen and red, hair slightly dishevelled.
His heart effectively breaks at the sight of you.
“Baby- what's wrong?” He asks, concerned as ever, as he rushes over to you.
You rub at your eyes furiously, blinking back any further tears as you swallow.
“Nothing- nothing's wrong, Joel-” Your voice wavers as you speak and there's clearly something wrong - why you try so hard to hide it from him is beyond him.
He gently pulls your hands away from your face and holds them together in your lap.
“There's somethin’ wrong, sweetheart. I can see it.” He says softly, his thumb brushing away another tear that’s slowly trailing down your cheek.
You're completely silent, lip quivering.
You don't want to be a burden. If you tell him, he'll get upset and then he'll try to help you, even though you feel like nobody can. You'll just end up being a burden.
You shake your head, squeezing his hand as you do.
“Baby please. Talk to me.” He pleads with you, cupping your cheek and looking at you with so much care and worry that it makes you want to sob all over again.
“I just feel like shit.” You mumble so quietly he almost missed it. “I-” you start, but you just sigh frustratedly, digging your nails into your palms. “I feel.. really bad, again. It almost feels worse this time and it just makes me want to hurt myself. To make it all stop.” You say through clenched teeth, upset and afraid and so, so angry with yourself for admitting how you feel. You do it so much easier now but only because you and Joel had worked so hard to get rid of these defensive walls you'd built around yourself, walls that forced you to conceal your feelings and bottle your emotions.
“Oh, sweet girl.” He frowns, sitting on the bed and turning you to face him a little more. You don't want to look at him. You don't want to see him getting upset and worrying about you. You can't bear it.
So you keep your eyes clamped shut and continue talking. “My thoughts were just getting so.. so loud. And I don't know how to make it stop, and I almost- I just thought it would help.” You're shaking, he can feel it. Little shivers across your entire body, making your breath tremble as you exhale and inhale shakily. “I'm so sorry, Joel. I'm sorry.” You start to sob and he feels like doing the same, because he hates seeing you like this. If he could take all the pain away, force it onto himself so you didn't have to bear it, he would.
He pulls you closer to him, into his lap as he cradles you and rocks you slightly, pressing soft kisses to your forehead and resting his head there.
“Baby, please stop apologisin’. You aren't doin’ anything wrong and.. I know it's hard. It's hard to stop yourself from relapsin’, but you've done so well. ‘m so damn proud of ya, because you've gone so long without hurtin’ yourself. And it's doin’ good for ya; you might not realise it but I do. You’re so much happier now without it, ya like a fuckin’ ball of sunshine.” He teases, making you let out a watery chuckle. He pauses for a moment to brush away your tears, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. “I love you. So so much. And I don't want to see you in pain like that ever again. I don't want my sunshine to go away, and I don't think you want her to either.”
You nod slowly, rubbing at your face as the final tears slip past your eyelids, looking up at Joel again.
He held you and you both talked for what must have been hours after that. You discussed what was really bothering you, how you could try make it better. Distractions helped, you decided. Joel proved to be a good distraction, as you ended the night listening to him talk about just about anything from the new diner that opened up in town to that one story from his childhood which made you snort with laughter every time (one which consisted of little Joel falling ‘head over heels in love’ with a girl when he was in elementary school, deciding to profess his love to her by writing a sappy poem for her and reading it to her in front of quite a large group of people.. only to be turned down. Naturally, he would've been, considering she was a fucking 16 year-old!)
He knew that that story would be the one to make you crack a smile, even if it was a small one, he just wanted to make his girl happy again.
You did a little more than smile, giggling so much you went red because that story never really gets old.
“There she is.” He murmured affectionately, tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear and kissing the tip of your nose, then your cheek, then your lips.
It was a brief, yet loving, one, as he pulled back from the kiss and stroked your hair as your eyes fluttered shut.
Joel pulled you closer to him, your head now resting on his chest as your eyes fluttered closed from his soothing touch.
“G’night, babygirl.” He murmured, unsurprised when you didn't answer since you had already fallen asleep.
He stares up at the ceiling and he feels happy despite everything that happened tonight, because he feels good knowing that he can give you that solace and comfort that you just need so desperately sometimes, just like he gave you in the hours that passed. He'd do it a million times and more if it was for you.
Thank you sm for reading, I hope you.. enjoyed? Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated and requests are open. 💞
Note: My heart really goes out to you if you struggle with self harm. It's not easy to deal with and even harder to stop doing it once you've started, but you're not alone. Even if you feel like you have no one to talk to, there are countless places and websites you can look at which offer things like helplines and anonymous chats if you're struggling, and also give healthy solutions and alternatives etc. to self harm. You're so loved. Things might seem impossible but never give up. It will get better one day.
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have we met before?
myoui mina x fem!reader ; fluff, angst
synopsis: you and mina are destined to meet in every universe, it’s fate, it’s inevitable—but that doesn’t mean the circumstances are always ideal for the two of you.
warnings: mentions of food
wc: 5.5k
♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬
a/n: based on those silly little drawings on tiktok that also have my heart screaming and crying bc they're so cute but sad for no reason like stop pls you're just a silly little stick man why am i sobbing
“do you think we know each other in every universe?” you ask in a small voice, almost a whisper.
mina turns her head to face you, you’re still looking up at the ceiling, breathing slowly. “what kind of question is that?” mina responds, laughing lowly from the sudden inquiry.
“i don’t know, I saw it online,” you start, turning to meet her gaze—squishing your cheek against the mattress in the process. “something about people meeting in other lives and universes, it was pretty interesting.” you add sleepily.
mina’s arm moves to settle down on your shoulder while you lay on the bed facing each other. you look at her with a tired, warm gaze through weighted eyelids. mina softly drags her knuckles over your skin, it makes you sigh contentedly.
“so what do you think?” you press again.
mina just smiles at you and uses her fingers to push loose, messy hair away from your face. you hum groggily in response and lean into her touch.
“i’d hope so.” mina murmurs, looking at your drowsy state.
she takes a moment to fully take in your presence, then presses a kiss against your forehead.
“me too.” you agree, resting your hand over her knuckles.
in this universe mina has just moved into the city, relishing the beautiful, new environment as she strolls around the area.
there’s a couple to her right across the street. they hold hands and swing them gently while they laugh and gaze at each other lovingly—mina smiles at the sight.
mina spots a small restaurant from her peripheral vision, something about the plants growing around it catches her eye, as well as the simple design and lights in the front. she walks towards it, fixing her loose, gray shirt.
she watches a woman step out the restaurant, and that woman is remarkably appealing. the woman kneels down to pet the calico cat that sits in front of the calatheas plant, the woman’s thumb rubs the top of its head, earning a pleased purr.
the woman fetches a small can of water, quickly tending to the plants by watering them, and inspecting them a bit after.
mina makes her way over and catches the attention of the waitress in the apron—the same woman who had tended to the plants. She turns and smiles immediately at mina, setting the can down and greeting her.
“hi, can i help you?” she asks. the woman’s voice is enchanting, it’s soft and welcoming.
mina nods then eyes the rest of the restaurant, it’s quite cozy.
“yes, do you serve lunch?” mina asks.
“yes ma’am, come on in, i can find a seat for you. it’s not too busy at the moment.” the woman says, urging mina to follow her, “there’s only our regulars here at the moment, many empty seats for a lovely lady like you.” mina’s lips curve upward from the unexpected compliment.
the woman leads her to a little table near the window, a small pot occupies it and it holds a healthy-looking fern in it. the waitress hands the menu over to her with both hands—which mina accepts gracefully.
“i’m y/n,” you start, “i’ll be your waitress. i’ll be back in a couple of minutes, take your time.”
what a wonderful name.
when you return, mina has picked out what she would like to order. you approach the table with your signature grin—one mina finds very captivating, sweet, and cute. she has trouble keeping her eyes off your lips for a moment.
“ready to order miss?”
“yes. may i have a bowl of the glass noodles?” mina asks. you nod and started to write on the small notepad in your hand.
“yes ma’am, anything else?”
“green tea would be great.”
“alright. by the way, the glass noodles come with a side dish, any protein on the menu-“ you point to the protein options on the menu with your pen, “there.”
mina reads through the options: salmon, tuna, mushrooms, tofu, chicken, beef, shrimp, and pork.
“what would you recommend?” mina questions, making you think to yourself for a bit.
“my favorites are the tofu, it’s seasoned very well. you can never go wrong with tuna or salmon either, but those are just my preferences. all the protein choices are wonderful.”
“i’ll take the tofu then.”
“alright. so, japchae with a side of tofu and some green tea for the pretty lady in the corner.” you say as you charmingly smile at mina, “will that be all?”
mina giggles at your boldness, nodding. “do you always flirt with customers?”
“only the pretty ones that catch my eye—you’re the first to do so.” you admit.
“i’m flattered, y/n.” mina responds. you smile brightly from how she uses your name, and because she’s tolerant of your stupid flirting.
You giggle. “your order will be ready in a bit. i’ll make sure to pull at the chefs strings to have it out as quick as possible.” you say, “anything to satisfy the lovely lady.”
mina laughs at your comment then rests her chin on her palm. “thanks waiter.”
you arrive ten minutes later and snap mina out of her daydreaming, she’s been staring at the window and watching the people of the city pass by. she could get quite comfortable knowing that a lovely waiter is within a one-mile radius.
“your japchae and tofu, as well as your tea.” you beam, setting down her hot tea and meal.
mina smiles and the aroma of the food pleases her senses, so does the waiter’s delightful presence. the food smells wonderful, it looks delicious too. you nod at her before scurrying to help out the group of elderly men at the other side of the restaurant, they pat your shoulder and make you giggle. seems like your presence is something that everyone is fond of.
as you swiftly run a hand through your tousled hair, the lines of your face come into sharper focus, accentuating your features. the black apron around your waist becomes slightly taut as you tighten it, giving mina a glimpse of your punctilious nature. you reach for a soft rag and press it firmly against the worn wooden surface. the tendons in your forearm flex with each wipe, they’re quite toned.
mina's gaze lingers on your arm, drawn to the dainty tattoo adorning your wrist. it’s a subtle flower-like design, its colors blending seamlessly with your skin—mina thinks it’s cute.
but it's not just your appearance that intrigues her. there's something intangible about you, an inexplicable familiarity that fogs up her mind. in the short span of thirty minutes, you’ve managed to create a tranquil atmosphere around her with the help of your dorky charm.
it's as if you have a unique ability to make her feel instantly at home, even though she can't recall ever meeting you before. the way you carry yourself so casually, the kindness and warmth that radiate from you, all contribute to this puzzling connection she feels.
you hand mina the check after she finishes up, the price is not bad at all. you grab her bowl, small plate, and tea cup, balancing them effortlessly on one hand.
“can i pay with cash?”
“of course, let me put these dishes in the back. you can pay up at the register since it’s cash.” you respond, departing temporarily.
mina shuffles through her purse and pulls out a few bills, making sure to tip you generously for your wonderful service and lovely charm. she walks over to the register, you’re behind the counter with a strand of hair falling over your face and tapping at the screen.
“your total is fifteen hundred yen.” you say. mina hands you twenty-five hundred, making you raise your brows in surprise.
“i liked your service.” mina shrugs, bashfully avoiding eye contact. she puts her wallet back into her purse, and explains, “i just moved into the city, i’m really glad i ran into someone as sweet as you on my first day.”
you grin and feel a warmth spread across your cheeks, “is that so? i’m glad. i hope you like it here, i’d love for you to visit again. i wouldn’t complain if a beauty like you were a regular.”
mina’s lips turn, it’s hard for her to make eye contact with you. a small laugh leaves your lips as you take the money she had slid across the counter, carefully handling it then placing fifteen hundred yen in the register, and putting a thousand in the tip jar.
you beam at her again, “thank you, have a great day miss.”
“it’s mina.” she corrects politely, “my name is mina.”
“pretty name. fits you.” you respond, ears growing pink. mina laughs and waves at you with a gummy smile—it’s adorable and you want to see it again and again. butterflies flutter in your stomach from the sight of it. the elegant woman with the cute beauty marks walks towards the door, and as you sense this fleeting moment, your eyes search frantically for something that’ll have mina trudging back in the future.
spotting a pen and napkin nearby, you swiftly reach out, snatching them up in your trembling hand and scribbling a string of numbers on it.
mina steps outside and takes in the scenery of the restaurant, it fits the lovely, calm neighborhood that it occupies.
“wait! mina!” a voice calls out. she turns and spots you, rushing out the door and settling yourself in front of her.
you hand her the napkin you scribbled on. “this is my number, i’d love to get to know you more.” you say timidly as mina takes the dainty piece of paper.
“you’re cute.” mina boldly states, laughing softly, “this place isn’t far from my apartment, and the food is good. there might be a new regular here soon.”
“perfect.” you hum.
“thank you for the food, i’ll see you again.”
“see you, mina.”
a tender silence envelops both of you as you exchange a knowing glance, the unspoken connection blooming with a newfound sweetness. something about mina seems oddly familiar, weirdly comforting—you’re not one to flirt so easily, but the words had just spewed out your mouth every time you talked to her.
you wonder: maybe you know her in another universe, you remember hearing about that theory from one of the elderly customers. maybe you’re good friends someplace else—maybe more.
in another universe, a complex web of fate had merged your brother, jun, with mina—a princess from a kingdom that held tensions with your own. their marriage seemed to hold the promise of easing the strained relations between the two kingdoms.
jun, the epitome of the stereotypical prince, perfectly fit into the mold. women swooned over him and he possessed the necessary “princely” skills, he seemed to have it all. however, beneath his "charming” exterior lay a massive ego, pissy attitude, and a small, smooth, and pathetic brain. he carried himself as superior to you, despite his cowardice and controversial morals.
as for yourself, in this royal universe, you were less recognized compared to your stingy brother, but still held a significant position. while you may have lacked certain attributes expected from a princess, it honestly mattered very little since you weren’t in line to inherit the throne (you didn’t like the thought of all that work anyway, so you were relieved.)
a generous freedom was granted to you, which allowed you to develop an intellect that your brother desperately needed, and a great personality compared to the prick of a prince. admittedly, you possessed a prominent physical beauty, attracting numerous suitors, but they often drew back after realizing you weren’t just a stupid, submissive woman who they could boss and fuck around with.
you had first seen mina at the altar while she was getting married to your brother—a fate so cruel it makes you want to object, especially only hearing that she’s a soft-spoken, kind soul—according to your father.
something about her seemed oddly familiar, even as you watched from afar. she turned towards you only once, and you made eye contact in that brief moment. your brows creased when your heart recognized her, yearning for an odd reason. she turned back to face jun and you ignored the sensation in your chest, figuring that the feeling in your heart might’ve been the sorrow you had for this newlywed: princess mina.
you never have dinner at the same time as your brother, so you’ve never had dinner with the new addition to your kingdom. though this changes when jun is sent away for the night (for whatever “princely” reason, you don’t know, and neither do you care.)
you’re seated across from your brother’s wife, and this is the first time you’ve seen her up close and in person. she’s beautiful.
you find yourself captivated by mina's ethereal beauty, unable to tear your eyes away from her radiant presence. every curve and line of her face is a testament to perfection, leaving you marveling in awe.
mina’s features are more than attractive, they’re perfect—no painter could ever capture the full glow of her visuals. her lips look so soft, the way her silky, dark hair effortlessly flows down her shoulders makes you yearn to run your fingers through them, losing yourself in their silky texture. as she gracefully picks up a piece of salmon, the way she chews it delicately, you can't help but be captivated by her composure and grace—damn, you think, she even eats elegantly.
when mina’s eyes meet yours, you shyly look away at the strangely flustering eye contact, feeling nervous for whatever reason.
most women would feel a bit insecure, self-conscious, and maybe even intimidated in your situation. however, all you feel is an unspeakable attraction from your brother’s wife, which has got to be messy.
It gets messier when mina looks at you while you avoid eye contact, and you quickly pretend to be busy by gracefully picking up a piece of salmon and chewing it like a princess should (because mina is right in front of you).
mina observes you, her eyes filled with a deep curiosity while she tries to sneak subtle glances. it's evident that she recognizes the resemblance between you and your brother, but you’re definitely the better-looking sibling. her gaze lingers on the white ribbon holding half your hair up, rendering you even more fascinating in her eyes. stray strands of hair gently frame your face, and as you tuck them behind your ear, her eyes follow the movement with a mixture of awe and allure.
though you and mina have never engaged in conversation, the inscrutable (homosexual) tension between you two is undeniable, as if you were destined to meet.
“is there something on my face?” mina asks, voice soft and wow, even her voice is beautiful. she tilts her head when she catches you stealing a glance.
“oh, no, sorry.” you respond politely, “i just, um, noticed your beauty marks. they’re pretty.”
(you don’t know why you chose to compliment her now and here when you’re alone in this dining room and the tension is prominent—are you trying to embarrass yourself?)
“thank you, y/n was it?” the sound of your name being articulated by that delicate voice of hers is enough to have your cheeks burning.
“yeah, y/n.”
“you’re quite pretty too.”
you smile and poke at your salmon, “thank you.”
two weeks from that dinner, you find yourself meeting with her and spending more time with the lovely princess since her own joke of a husband can’t do so. mina was never fond of jun anyway, he boasted too much, and you were much more pleasing to the eye—and her heart.
you lead mina around the castle, holding her hand and dragging her to the large library in the east wing. you ramble about the books you’ve read, cheeks flushing lightly when you go on a tangent about romance novels. when you stop gushing about books out of fear of boring her, she urges you to go on, giving you that signature grin that makes your heart leap.
a few weeks after that moment in the library, mina finds herself situated in your own bedroom. it’s a large room, fit for a princess like you. the room smells like peaches and is tidy for the most part, though books clutter some spaces and it honestly feeds mina’s growing interest in you.
the ribbon in your hair is worked at with your slim fingers and your locks are let down with a swift motion of the fabric. you run a hand through your hair and lead mina to your bed, grabbing her hand and urging her to sit down next to you.
mina sits down and you hum, softly while you lean against the headboard of the bed.
“are you tired?” mina asks, and you shake your head.
“not really.”
“it’s quite late.”
“perhaps.” you say, turning over to face her. “you know, speaking of sleep. i’ve been having dreams about you.”
mina raises her brows and giggles, “really now?”
you hum, “yeah, it’s a flash of different scenes, different lives.”
“sounds interesting.”
“mhm.” you sigh, looking from the mole on mina’s nose to her lips. “we always end up meeting. do you think we know each other in every life? like, maybe there’s other universes where we’re… maybe we’re best friends in another kingdom, or maybe we’re commoners.”
“that’s a possibility. you read a lot of books, maybe they’re creating that fantasy world up in that brain of yours.” mina teases, subconsciously scooting closer to you.
your gaze stills on her face, you stay silent for a moment and mina grows flustered as you travel across her features with your look. your hand moves over to brush a strand of hair away from her face, and your thumb rubs against her soft, delicate skin—just below her left eye.
“an eyelash was there.” you say, and her cheek grows noticeably warm from the contact of your thumb on her skin.
“i had this one dream, you know…” you start, moving your thumb along her cheek and tracing the side of her face with your pointer. you lean a bit closer, and mina does too, she stares at your plump, soft, peachy lips. “we were really close, like this.” you practically whisper, voice lowering as you mumble.
“yeah?” mina asks, leaning closer. now both of you are staring at each other’s lips, bodies reeling in closer as if there were a string of desire pulling your hearts closer to each other.
mina tilts her head and her eyelids start to shut, you mirror her action and do the same. her cold fingers find your cheek and softly caress your skin, pulling you in closer for a kiss.
her lips are as soft as they look, warm against your own despite the chill of her fingers on your face—though they seem to burn into you the deeper the kiss grows. the locking of lips is dangerous, especially with mina seeing as she’s married to your brother and all. the two of you know everything will have to be behind closed doors, love can be difficult.
mina pulls away with lidded eyes and you whine in response.
“did we do that in your dream?”
“yeah, a few times.”
“déjà vu i guess,” mina murmurs against your lips, “i’ve had the same dreams,” she admits before sliding her hand down to your neck, gently gripping your hair and twirling it around her finger. she kisses you again, your lips recognize the feeling.
in this universe you’re on the way back to the ice rink. you’ve forgotten your bag filled with your shoulder pads and gloves.
you check the locker room and there’s nothing, but you do spot momo’s unlocked locker. knowing the clumsy, forgetful teammate, she had probably rushed out after getting a call from that sana girl she’s been talking to. the swooning lesbian had most likely left the building in a second, you’re using that against her for sure.
“where is it…” you grumble, wandering around the locker room and shuffling through every corner.
a sigh leaves your lips and you head out to the rink, it has to be there if it’s not in the locker rooms; otherwise, you’re completely fucked and your wallet might come to life just to kill you if you don’t find that dumb bag.
you step into the rink area, your face getting hit with the cold air of the room. the issue at hand is completely disregarded when your gaze lands on a figure gracefully gliding across the ice, her presence seemingly ethereal. her movements are an intricate dance on the frozen surface beneath, each glide harmoniously transitioning into the next. you’re captivated to say the least.
her body glides effortlessly, proof of her unquestionable talent. with every spiraling twirl and soaring leap, she effortlessly keeps your attention on her, you’re enamored. her skate blades etch intricate patterns into the ice, similar to the way yours hack at the ice when you speed through players to score a point during your scrimmages.
the woman stops and her eyes meet yours, making you redirect your attention elsewhere, reminding you of the reason why you’re even back here past practice hours.
she skates towards the gate that leads out the rink and you quickly walk away, scanning the seats for your blue bag. it has to be here somewhere; you prayit’s there.
your prayers were answered—a blue bag is spotted on one of the benches with the same shoulder pads you had used earlier, you let out a sigh of relief.
when you make your way back towards the door back to the lobby, you’re face-to-face with the same woman who had been skating—she had been the only other person here besides you at this hour, further emphasizing her devotion to her art.
she examines you carefully. your hair is still disheveled and your nose is also pink from the practice you had earlier. you’re wearing a comfy-looking navy hoodie, as well as matching, baggy sweatpants—though maybe a slightly darker shade. the blue bag is held over your shoulder, sitting along your back while you carry it.
mina swears she recognizes you, the messy hair that falls over your face and that dorky, awkward smile you shoot her is strangely familiar. maybe she’s met you at this rink before, that’s probably the case.
“sorry, did i interrupt you?” you pry, scared to have disrupted her elegant performance.
“no, not at all.” she responds. you look her up and down, eyeing the full black outfit she wears briefly before meeting her soft eyes and appealing features. you pause for a brief moment when you see the two recognizable beauty marks: one above her top lip and the other on her nose.
“have we met before?” you ask, curious as to why there’s a weird understanding from her.
“i don’t know, maybe we have.”
“you seem very familiar, i can’t put my finger on it.” you mumble, brows furrowing lightly.
“i- i thought that too.”
you put out a hand, “i’m y/n.”
mina reciprocates the gesture and puts her hand in yours—a strangely perfect fit, as if her hand has been there before.
“mina.” she says, staring at your hands making contact.
“do you always practice at this rink?” you question, interested as to how you’ve missed someone as eye-catching as her.
mina nods. “i usually practice later or in the early mornings.”
“that’s why i haven’t seen you around.” you hum, “i practice during late afternoons.”
“are you a hockey player?”
“yup.” you respond proudly, shooting a grin that makes the figure skaters own lips turn. you shove your hand in your pocket and find your phone, checking the time. “i’ll leave you to your practice, you skate beautifully by the way.”
mina smiles and you contemplate whether you should pry and find out more of her schedule just from seeing the curve of her pretty lips. “i’ll see you y/n, hope we run into each other again.”
“likewise. have a great night mina.”
“you too.”
you’re a lucky woman, very, very lucky.
you run into the beautiful figure skater two days later, and then two days after that, and somehow you’re running to her after every other practice.
quick conversation and small talk is exchanged between the short periods of time that you see each other, a friendship blossoms quickly.
mina, with her quiet demeanor, has always been reserved, even around her own coach and most people she interacts with. however, something about your presence makes her feel instantly at ease—as if you’ve known each other for years. your charm effortlessly melts her tension away, creating a comfortable atmosphere where she’s no longer limited to her usual three-word responses.
beyond her enchanting beauty on the ice, mina's personality shines in its own unique way. her lovely features are undeniably captivating, but it's the tenderness in her remarks and descriptions of her day that truly warms your heart. each word she utters, spoken in her soft and honeyed voice, forms an urge to know more about mina.
not even a month later, the two of you find yourselves in a small diner sitting across from each other.
your cheek is in your palm while you listen to mina go on about her recent fixations and interests—one being the legos that she had finally bought after eyeing for two months. you find yourself laughing at the way she talks about the plastic building pieces with such passion and excitement, your smile growing wider with each remark from the divine woman in front of you.
mina goes on about her dream of being a professional figure skater, that it’s been her dream since she was a litte girl. she even admits that she’d love to travel to other countries to train and learn more, she’s fond of foreign training programs. the success she craves inspires you, and soon after you exchange your own dreams of being in one of the big league hockey teams. you give mina a little background on yourself, explaining that you lived in canada for half your life, which also happens to be the same place where you started becoming infatuated with hockey. mina nods in awe, listening with intent.
the two of you ramble and laugh and smile and blush—it makes the two of you so amazingly giddy.
the date is cliché, something out of a movie: dinner with a beautiful woman, paying for her meal, and then driving her home—before she leaves, you kiss her cheek—she blushes and kisses you on the lips, leaving you in the car with a flushed face and a dangerously quick heart rate.
most of your relationships in the past—if not all, have been quite rocky after a couple of months, but that’s not the case with mina.
there’s a simple understanding between you two, as if you already know each other’s likes and dislikes by heart. you’re accustomed to mina’s mood swings and troubles, always being there if she needed a shoulder to lean on. there was a silent understanding, and mina was glad that she had you. mina is understanding when you explain your past and the difficulties of pursuing a hockey career, and once you’re done shedding a few tears you exchange your first “i love you’s.”
it's safe to say that being with mina has been the best time of your life, not even a year has passed by and she’s had you swooning more than momo had been when she first got with sana. you’re hooked, you’re in love.
there’s nothing that could break you and mina up, not with the wonderful communication and understanding of boundaries. you two were perfect for each other, there was no way anything could hinder the relationship.
“can we talk?” you and mina say together, surprised that you said it at the same time with the same uneasy tone.
“you go first.” you urge, mina shakes her head.
“no, you go.” she responds. you laugh to calm your nerves, to ease your worries, to stop the tears that start to well in your eyes, it works temporarily—but mina can sense the tension in the air, and it’s frightening.
you inhale, then exhale slowly.
“i was scouted, they want me in one of the best training facilities and teams in canada.” you croak out, a lump forming in your throat after you speak. mina purses her lip and you can tell she tries to stop herself from crying, closing her eyes and turning her head downwards.
“y/n,” she says, voice shaky, “they… they want me training in korea.”
you blink and tears spill, rolling down your face.
“i think you should take it, mina.” you say heartbreakingly, “you’re very talented, i know it would get you far. it’s your dream, i know how much you liked the training over in korea.”
“i think you should take,“ mina cuts herself off with a sniffle, “you should go to canada.”
the two of you aren’t lying, wanting the others to achieve their own dream, but the inevitable product is the two of you parting. that’s the last thing you want.
if you had known that you would’ve met mina earlier, she would’ve been your dream, you’d give up everything for her and mina would do the same for you. however, these offers are something that the two of you have been longing for, and even if your hearts may shatter by taking up these opportunities, the two of you know it has to be your choices.
you pull mina into your arms, a bittersweet embrace. her tears stain your t-shirt, yours seem to stain hers as well.
“i’m sorry.” mina cries.
“don’t,” you sob, “it’s okay, we’ll be okay.” you add, though you’re unsure yourself.
the distance is impossible, and it’s already difficult to spend more than three hours a day with each other now, so thinking of how it would be while you’re thousands of kilometers apart has you holding onto mina tighter, knowing that you’ll have to let her go.
your flight leaves in less than two hours, and you still have to go through baggage as well as security.
a tear slips down your cheek as you hold onto mina, you don’t want to let go, you can’t, but you have to.
you two had a long talk filled with tears and runny noses about how this would go down, and you decided to spend the last few days together, savoring and cherishing the last moments of each other’s presence. sure, the two of you could see each other now and then, but it would be too hard to keep a long-distance relationship going when your schedules are full and your bodies are tired. the time difference doesn’t help either. it just won’t work out, no matter what obstacle you tried to work around, it was evident that this wasn’t going to cut it with the new circumstances.
so you two decided to do what was necessary: break up.
mina pulls away with tears spilling down her face, she’s wearing the sweater you gifted her on her birthday. it makes you sniffle.
“i’m going to miss you.” you say in between tears, “too much.”
“me too.” she says. her nose is red, eyes pink, and her bottom lip quivers.
“i’m sorry, i’m so sorry, i wish we could-“
“y/n, i love you. i want you to achieve this dream.” mina cuts you off, “i’m willing to let you go for it to happen.”
“i’ll love you forever.” you cry, “whatever happens, there’s always a space in my heart for you. when you make it to the big screen, i’ll cheer for you. promise”
mina closes her eyes and wipes her tears, “and I’ll do the same. god, y/n… i love you so much.”
“don’t say that, please my nose is getting stuffy,” you say, trying to lighten the mood. your voice cracks, it’s shaky. “i promise in another universe or something like that, everything will work out, and we won’t have distance keeping us apart. in every life i swear mina, i swear i’ll find you, we’ll meet and we don’t have to part like this and- fuck, god i can’t do this.”
mina laughs, it’s not out of amusement. she’s going to miss your dorky little rambling. “you’ve been watching too many marvel movies.”
“stop that,” you sigh, smiling in between tears. “but I swear, I will.”
“is that a promise?”
“yes mina, yes.”
mina smiles again before tip-toeing to kiss you, you get the faint taste of her salty tears. the kiss is quite long, both of you not wanting to pull away, not wanting to part.
your hand lingers on mina’s cheek, it’s soft on her skin, she melts into your touch one last time.
“i love you always.” mina says, using her own thumb to wipe away your damp, pink cheek.
“me too.” you rasp, “always and forever.”
#twice x reader#kpop x reader#twice imagines#twice mina#kpop fluff#twice angst#myoui mina#myoui mina x reader#mina x reader#mina imagines
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(this is just my rambles , pls scroll if u dont want to read jdakjsa ;-;)
ok i'm not good at it, but i'll try to be more serious.
King Ohger is my first sentai after about…10? 11? years since i watch toku as a kid (for sentai, i used to watch shinkenger and power rangers dino force). I start to watch toku again last year because of KR Den-O, simply just bcs i want to rewatch one of my fav childhood tv program. And i cried a lot, not just because of den-o's story but also I remember that I still love toku as much as little me back then
after finished den-o, i crave for more toku to watch, then my older sister told me there's this super sentai that all of the sentai is leaders/kings ((SHE HAVEN'T WATCH KINGOH UNTIL THIS VERY DAY DESPITE BEING ONE OF MY REASON TO WATCH KINGOH, I HATE HER////jk i love u sis)). I didn't watch kingoh while it's ongoing, i binge watch it from ep 1 while it's around eps 20-25. And i regret nothing, i feel a lot of emotions, be it's the good one or even the bad one. I laugh and I cry. I didn't live for 2000 years like jeramie, but i relate to him about dealing with grief and keep everything to yourself bcs you don't want others to worry about you. And the happiness of finally found someone you can rely on, someone that won't say anything but will pat your shoulder and reminds you that they will be on your side no matter what.
I learn a lot of thing from other king too, i learn to be kind from gira and himeno, i learn that it's okay to not care about what people say and be myself the way i am from rita, i learn to stands for what's wrong and didn't back down like yanma, and kaguragi uhm…* shake hands with kagu * yes ur my buddy bro (i swear i have one thing i relate to kagu, i just don't want to tell what it is-)
people can call it 'childish show' (my friend said that when i tell them abt kingoh and kr ;-; that's why i stopped telling abt toku to others and just keep my excitement to myself) and they're still right, but still, kingoh is special to me.
I was ready to be alone on this (I always be), i draw fanarts because i want and i like them so much, and didn't expect at all that i'll found other people that excited about the same thing like me. thank you to everyone who liked, reblog, comment, send asks, i can't always answer everything, but pls know that i appreciate every single of you,
artist, writers, gif maker, friends, everyone.
one day will come the day that my interest maybe will fade away. Until that day come, I'll enjoy my time here and drawing what i want. (((actually this applied to my other fandom too ;-;))))
for you who read this so far, thank u again <3
+ pls have this happy spiders, they're my favorites from all of the finale moments ;-;
#ohsama sentai kingohger#king ohger#gira hastie#yanma gust#jeramie brasieri#kaguragi dybowski#rita kaniska#himeno ran#nephila idmonarak ne#my art#this actually the art i submitted for the ko thankyou card :">#i don't have the energy to draw a lot of people again.. maybe later
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APPLE CIDER!
thank u @soov for helping me pick the banner!
sypnosis : you haven’t experienced much love in your life. well reciprocated romantic love, your first “boyfriend”, was only with you because a bet. until you unexpectedly meet jay, a frat boy whose known for breaking hearts. you’d be a fool to give him a chance right? too bad you both like apple cider.
or
when a heartbroken girl meets a heart breaker and they bond over apple cider.
featuring : enhypen, chaewon of lsfm, eunbi, one member of txt (EL OH EL THERES LIKE NO ONE)
warnings : literally the most cliche story ever, swearing, underage drinking, food, parties, crying, kissing (not in detail), being drunk (not reader), crying, angsty, reader hates parties, mentions of hooking up/sex, mentions of weed, reader has bad habits, blood, i think thats it?
wc : 7.9k (only 900 words over the expected amount!!)
pairing : jay x fem!reader (uses she/her)
a/n : hey guys… this fic is the most cliche shit ever and idk how it happened,,, u would think this would be like original but its not 😂 🤣. heres the playlist i listened to while making it! and everyone thank @wonieleles and @redm4ri for proof reading it !! anyways,,, enjoy!
READ PART TWO HERE!
cut glitch pls spare me
001 THE INVITATION
“c’mon y/n! i know you’re not over hyun-woo but please! one party! it’s been like a month since you broke up, and yeonjun personally invited me to this party!”
“way to put it lightly chaewon,” you’re tempted to leave and sit somewhere else. can’t she just understand you don’t want to go?
“please! i’ll get you um- coffee for a week!”
you scoff at her suggestion, but after thinking about it, it does seem like a pretty good offer. i mean, it will be just one party right?
“when’s the party ?” you ask, almost persuaded.
“it’s this friday, i can pick you up, and we can get there at nine. the party starts at like eight, but everyone goes at nine.” she pauses for a moment before continuing.
“if you’re uncomfortable, we can leave right away! plus, your beloved chaewon would be right next to you the whole time! isn’t that tempting?” she elbows you softly, and you give her a disgusted look before changing back to your normal one.
“fine. but! you have to let me borrow a dress because i don’t really have any party dresses.”
“you have that one green one! that’s like a v-neck!” chaewon shapes the dress out with her hands, trying to prove her point.
“it’s too big,” you point out, taking a bite out of your forgotten lunch.
“okay fine… i’ll pick you up at seven, and we can get ready and stuff at my house! i’m not lending you any makeup though.” she picks back up her fork, stuffing her mouth with food.
“fine with me.” you shrug, taking a sip of water.
chaewon’s voice suddenly goes quiet, “y/n, you know those really popular guys? well one of them is looking at you!” she whisper-shouts, trying her best to hide her expression.
“so? you’re popular too, maybe he’s staring at you.” you brush it off, why would it even matter anyways?
“no y/n- that’s jay park. he’s like- he has some major beef with hyun-woo.”
“and what does that have to do with me?”
“jay is a heartbreaker, maybe you’re his next subject to get hyun-woo mad or some shit because i know sunghoon told him about you two.”
“so? hyun-woo didn’t even like me, nothing bad will happen,” you reassure her, patting her shoulder. okay, but who the hell is sunghoon? you wonder.
“whatever you say. but stay away from him okay?” she looks at you seriously.
“okay but what does he even look like-?” you whip your head around to see a group of guys laughing. one shamelessly staring at you. he smirks at you, a wink coming soon after. you look at him in disgust, turning around.
“why did you look y/n!” chaewon whisper-shouts again.
“what? i was curious. how am i supposed to stay away from him if i don’t know who he is?” you put your hands up in defense.
“okay fine…” she groans.
“you’re still going to the party right?”
“yeah sure, whatever.”
002 FIRST MEETING
you enter your last period of the day, which also happens to be your least favorite, math. you never really understood why it was necessary in the real world, when would you need to figure out what the integral of a function is? but it’s not like you want to retake math in your senior year. so you get your notebook, and mechanical pencil out, clicking the end a few times before writing the date at the top of the page.
as you’re writing the date down, you can hear the repeated taps on your shoulder from the person behind you, so you turn around to face eunbi.
“hey, are you going to yeonjun’s party?” eunbi asked curiously.
you don’t know why she asked considering you two weren’t the closest of friends, and honestly, you thought she trusted people too easily, which included you. but it wouldn’t hurt to answer right?
“yeah i’m going with chaewon, are you?”
“yeah, me and hyun-woo will be there,” she says almost teasingly. eunbi gives you a genuine smile like she had no clue that you and hyun-woo ever dated. but in reality, she didn’t.
you and hyun-woo kept it on the low, so no one really knew about you two unless they saw you on dates. maybe he did that so he could cheat on you at parties you didn’t go to without anyone knowing. but you tried not to think about him anymore. it’s not like he’s going to beg on his knees for you to take him back.
“oh, well i think class is starting soon, but i’ll make sure to say hi at the party.” you notice how your voice almost deflates after she mentioned him. and eunbi almost notices it too. until her train of thought is broken when your math teacher, mrs. lim, walks in.
one thing you had forgotten was that jay was in your math class. he seems to be having the time of his life on his phone, and sometimes during that period, it’s obvious that mrs. lim catches him, clearly typing away under his desk, but she never seems to point it out.
you never seemed to be mrs. lim favorite. but you definitely weren’t her least favorite. you participated sometimes, usually getting the answers right, and you never really talked or interrupted anything in that class. it was obvious to you at least, that jay was mrs. lim’s favorite. he never got detention for being late, didn’t even have his laptop charged a majority of the time, and he never seemed to look at the board. any of this would’ve easily gotten you detention with an email to your parents, but unless mrs. lim had been doing this on the down low (which she never does), then it’s obvious she favors him over the rest.
mrs. lim had this annoying thing where she would write three questions on the board, and would draw sticks with each person's name on it to see who would answer the question. and to your luck, you were the second person to be called.
you step up to the whiteboard, trying to solve the equation as efficiently as possible so you could quickly sit back down. she calls out the next person's name to which you didn’t really care, it’s not like it would change anything. well until you saw a familiar sharp jawline, standing right next to you. whatever side fate was on, it wasn’t on yours because just as you had suspected, he had no idea what to write.
“y/n right?” he whispers closely to your ear, making you scoot away, “can you help me solve this?”
“no i can’t” you smile sarcastically, “maybe if you’d pay attention you would know.” you finish writing the answer as you place the cap back onto the marker, walking back to your seat. he smirks at your interaction, writing his solution on the whiteboard. okay, so he did know how to solve the equation? he just asked me for fun i guess. you internally groan, realizing that chaewon was right, you truly were jay’s new target.
003 THE PARTY
friday rolled around more quickly than you would like. you told your parents previously that you were going to sleep over at chaewon’s house, and luckily they allowed it. so, you grabbed your makeup bag and everything you needed to stay the night, (including some medicine in case chaewon got a hangover). you wave goodbye to your parents when you see chaewon’s car parked outside your house. as you head to her house, you start to regret even agreeing to her deal. was a week’s worth of coffee really worth going to some stupid fuck-boys party? it was already too late when you started to put on your makeup, deciding to have some slightly brighter eyeshadow than your usual going-out look.
“no one will notice my eyeshadow, right? i feel like it’s kind of bright.” you turn to face chaewon, who’s picking an outfit out for the both of you.
she scans your eyes, stopping with an outfit in her hands.
“put more on your left eye, to balance it out.” she replies, laying out the clothes on her bed.
you touch up your eye, adding your eyeliner and some lip tint to your lips as you turn to see all the outfit options.
“ta-daa~ do you like these?” she gives you jazz hands, picking the clothes up and imagining they’re on you. in the end, you both chose the outfit with the skirt rather than the dresses. chaewon picked out her outfit, and you both left the house. luckily, chaewon’s parents were taking a vacation somewhere for a week. you two sang your hearts out, laughing at whatever joke you guys made, or every time one of your voices would crack or sing completely wrong. you thought you enjoyed the ride more than whatever the party had to offer, (which wasn’t much).
you could hear the music booming once you entered the small neighborhood. it played softly as you entered, soon becoming much louder as chaewon parked her car. when you finally exited the car and entered the house, you felt like you could go blind from the rainbow lights moving around as you and chaewon tried to navigate your way through the dancing crowd and to the kitchen where all the drinks are. you enter the kitchen, which happens to be much less crowded than the living room.
“it’s so loud in here, why would you bring me here?” you joke, projecting your voice as she shrugs.
“whatever! but i’m going to go find yeonjun, bye! don’t take drinks from anyone!” she yells much louder than you did, walking away and trying to spot her familiar ‘friend’.
you groan, she said she wasn’t going to leave me here. you decide to get a drink, looking at each bottle to find your favorite one. soon, you turn one to see the words “sparkling apple cider”; you smile, grabbing the drink and pouring it into your own.
“not a drinker?”
you turn to see the infamous jay park next to you again.
“not really no, someone has to drive home, and i just really like apple cider,” you take a small sip of the carbonated drink, feeling the fizzy feeling in your throat. jay pours himself some apple cider, looking up while drinking it.
“yeah, i enjoy sparkling apple cider a lot too, i don’t really like the taste of any alcoholic drinks too much, i only really take shots, unlike my friends.” he chuckles at his sentence, sneakily placing his hand on your waist, looking slightly down at you. you slightly flinch at the contact, taking another sip of the cider to cover your reddening cheeks.
you hum, acknowledging his sentence, he continues. “you look nice in that skirt, you should wear it more often.” he flashes you a wink, to which you roll your eyes.
“maybe i’ll wear them less then,” you answer, escaping from his grasp; you grab the bottle of apple cider again and pouring more for yourself. he smirks at the scene, leaving you confused.
“what’s so funny about me pouring apple cider?” you defend yourself, giving him a confused look.
“nothing, you just pour it weirdly, honey.” he flashes you a smile, pushing back his hair.
“don’t call me that, and i’m just pouring it? what’s the difference?” you ask, bewildered by what he said.
“i’ll show you, can you pour it for me?” he hands you his cup, gesturing you to give him some.
“is this a trick for me to pour your drink for you?”
“just do it apple,” he chuckles at your accusation. you place the cup down and pick up the bottle with both hands.
“apple? why that nickname?” you ask, pouring some cider into his plastic cup.
“isn’t it obvious? you love apple cider so much so why can’t it?”
jay notices how you didn’t exactly deny his request for a nickname. apple it is, he thinks as you roll your eyes and place the bottle down, turning to face him. “what is so wrong with how i pour the drink?”
“here let me show you.” he grabs your hand, guiding it with his hands on your own, tilting both items towards each other. letting the bottle spill out into the cup.
“that way, there are fewer bubbles on the top babe,” he continues, taking yet another gulp of his apple cider.
“i-i’ll make sure to wash my hands after this.” you try to make a rude remark back at him without sounding flustered.
he feels giggly at your flustered state. wait, what is wrong with him? he softly lifts your chin to face him, a teasing smile evident on his face.
“why so flustered apple?”
he stares at you, waiting for your answer.
“what?”
“i said,” he maintains eye contact with you, “why-”
“y/n!” you quickly push jay away from you, turning your head to see eunbi, waving at you. you wave back, smiling at her. next to her, was hyun-woo, you noticed he had been trying to keep eye contact with you, which you avoided.
“i love your skirt y/n! where’d you get it?” she checks you out, grabbing whatever clean cup was near to pour herself a drink. you give a knowing look to jay smiling at her.
“i actually have no idea,” you chuckle, “i’m wearing chaewon’s clothes because i had nothing to wear, but i can ask her for you! she might be a little busy with yeonjun though.”
she pats your shoulder, “it’s okay hun! i’ll ask her later, but it was nice talking to you! come on hyun-woo let’s go back to the dance floor.” she grabs his arm walking away. you let out a sigh of relief, forgetting jay was there.
“i told you that skirt looked good on you.” he confidently adds, putting your hair behind your ear.
“it’s different when it comes from the school's heartbreaker, you should know that with your reputation and all.” instead of being offended, he looks at you in a flirty manner.
“and what do you know about my reputation?”
“i know you’re probably toying with me right now like you’ve done with countless of girls, yet somehow you have a bunch of fangirls waiting in line for their chance,” you pick at your skin, watching as the skin turns a dark shade of red.
he’s almost stunned at your reply, sure he did have a pretty bad reputation with girls, but since when was he that easy to read?
you acknowledge his silence, nodding in acceptance. walking away from the conversation before it could get any worse. he's tempted to follow you before he sees you walking up to chaewon, begging to go home. however, yeonjun and chaewon insist that you two would stay, as the party hasn’t even started yet. you were stubborn as always, walking outside, sitting on the edge of the sidewalk, and waiting for chaewon to leave. jay almost thanks yeonjun, for making you stay longer. this way, it would be easier for hyun-woo to spot you two together again. making jay’s job even easier.
he starts thinking of what to say, to maybe change your view of him. so he stands in the doorway, he notices how you shiver in the cold, but you ignore it, putting all your focus on stopping your finger from bleeding more.
jay gracefully takes off his jacket, walks over to you, and places it on your shoulders, you pause the round you were playing, looking at him in annoyance. you take off his jacket, placing it back in his hands.
“i don’t need your jacket, i’m fine.”
jay continues your previous conversation, handing back his jacket and firmly placing his arm around your shoulder, so you wouldn’t take it off.
“what could i do to prove i’m not trying to break your heart?” jay asks, trying his best to look saddened at what you had said earlier.
this time you’re the one left stunned, however, you quickly pick yourself back up, “by leaving me alone,” you answer, continuing the game you had just paused.
he chuckles at your response, leaning towards you, “you know i can’t do that apple.” he flirtatiously replies. you for the nth time that day, roll your eyes at him. you scoot away from him, coming up with a bright idea.
“then can you take me to chaewon’s house then? i am so sick of this party.” jay smirks at your reply.
“are you sure i’m the one who wants to hook up with you so bad?” he gets up, grabbing his key, “but yeah, i’ll drive you to her house.”
you smile at him, texting chaewon that somebody offered to take you home and that she’d have fun. Then jay leads you to his car, making some small talk on the way. he opens your door for you, letting you in. “wow, what a gentleman.” you sarcastically say, stepping into the car. he just smiles.
“just trying to prove that i’m not trying to break your heart.”
in his car, he luckily had a bandage, which you gladly accepted.
while he was driving, jay almost felt bad he was playing you. i mean you had just broken up with hyun-woo weeks ago, or was it months ago? whatever, it’s not like i care. he thought as he stopped at the red light. he looked over at you, smiling while watching whatever was outside the window. he turned back to the road, ignoring the sinking feeling in his stomach as he listened to your directions.
“oh! take a left at the next light.”
he nods, and the lights turn green. his car blends in with the crowd by keeping up with the pace. jay places his right hand on your thigh. he notices how your legs tense at the feeling, slowly relaxing.
jay usually never made the first moves, usually, the girl made the first moves and he played along with it. he didn’t seem to realize why he was so consistent with you. usually, if the girl left, or played hard to get, he gave up on her. for the reason that he could always find another girl. this is to get back at hyun-woo. he thought. but did hyun-woo really deserve this? jay definitely thought he did.
he remembered how distraught he was when hyun-woo was chosen by the coach to be captain of the rugby team. not that he was a bad player or he was a sore loser, but jay thought that hyun-woo was such a stuck-up, which was probably why he was chosen to be captain. the whole team truly believed jay would get the role. he always knew how to pull the team together and get them to play their best. hyun-woo however, always seemed to bring the mood down. after hyun-woo started to continuously mock jay for not getting captain, he knew that his time with that team was over. so he left. even now, a majority of the team still talks to jay, the few who he was close to, told him that hyun-woo was always talking shit about him.
he didn’t care at first. it’s not like it’ll do anything to my reputation. he assured himself, continuing to ignore every time he was told hyun-woo said that stuff. but when sunoo told him hyun-woo felt guilty for breaking your heart and how he only dated you because of a bet. jay knew he had to take the opportunity and seize the girl. he didn’t think this would backfire on him feeling guilt. but here he was, driving you home from a party he desperately wanted to stay at.
you remember suddenly why you were so warm inside and outside the car, you quickly take his jacket off placing it in the middle of your seat.
“you can return it to me on monday, just in case you get cold over the weekend” he sends you a flirty smile, quickly turning back to the road.
“are you sure? i mean it looks pretty expensive, and it seems special since it had your initials on it.” you flip the jacket around, showcasing to him the large letters spelling P.J.
“yeah, i’m sure.”
“and if you’re fangirls see me with your jacket, they’ll go crazy and think we’re dating! i don’t want that, so please take it.” you almost beg, holding the jacket near his shoulder.
“why would they think we’re dating?”
“oh, i don’t know. maybe it’s because your initials are on the back of it? and you’re in the rugby team and it says decelis rugby team under it?” you sarcastically answer.
“well i’m not on the team anymore, but also it could stand for peanut butter and jelly for all they know. so who cares?” he chuckles at his own joke, as you look at him in disgust.
you wonder if hyun-woo would care, hopefully, he did. hyun-woo had always been a jealous man. well, he might’ve been faking it for all you know, he was faking it the whole relationship, why would that be different? you quickly pull yourself together, responding to jay’s joke. “very funny. take a right at the light then turn left on the first turn.” you almost forget your job, quickly directing him the right way and placing the jacket on your lap.
he nods, moving through the road until you spot chaewon’s familiar brown house. you point at it, “that’s hers,” you say, as he pulls into the driveway.
you exit the car and wave goodbye as he drives away. you look at your hand and realize, shit, you’re holding his jacket. you must’ve picked it up when getting out of the car. damn it! now you have to deal with jay, one more time.
004 TEARS
when you had gotten onto chaewon’s bed after washing up, you couldn’t but feel saddened by the deja vu you were experiencing.
every second you were talking to him, you were reminded of hyun-woo.
his flirty words, his smirk, his infamous charming smile, his party boy persona. all lead you back to hyun-woo.
all jay did was remind you of hyun-woo.
you don’t even know when you had fallen so deeply for hyun-woo. maybe it was because he noticed things nobody else did. maybe it was because of his stupid smile. his stupid smile that made you fall in love.
when you got to the party you two were meeting at and he drunkenly admitted to the bet he had made, you knew you should’ve listened to what everyone had said, to what chaewon said. chaewon was always right. and you should’ve known that.
so with tears slowly trickling down your face, you opened his contact. looking through old text messages since you didn’t dare to text him. you ignored the ones where you were arguing since they weren’t the most comforting. but the more you read, the more blurry your eyes got.
deciding it was time for you to go to sleep, you roll over plugging in your phone charger and staring at the ceiling of chaewon’s room.
005 CONFRONTATION
the monday of, you believed the math gods were testing you every day. who decided to make you take calculus and then put jay park in my class? if you could ask your homeroom teacher to change your schedule, you would do it in a heartbeat, if he wasn’t creepy. but that's beside the point, whatever curse was placed on you, it was working.
you sit down in your usual seat. doing your usual routine as eunbi sits behind you. you turn around, feeling bad she always started the conversations.
“hi eunbi! did you have fun at the party?” you ask, knowing she probably loved it much more than you.
“yeah i did!” she leans towards you, quieting down “you know the guy i was with? hyun-woo?” you nod, praying that they didn’t do much together. “i made out with him.” she giggles at her sentence, as your face falls, quickly changing it to a smile, “congrats girl!” you clap a little bit for her, “i thought you were already dating, to be honest.” you didn’t think that, but it wouldn’t hurt to be nice sometimes.
“i wish, i have such a huge crush on him. what about you? do you have a crush on anyone? i won’t tell anyone i promise!” she pulls out her pinky, you don’t bring yours, as you don’t have a secret to tell. you glance at jay walking in, and eunbi’s eyes follow yours.
“you have a crush on jay park?” she whispers shouts, looking at you in disbelief.
“no!” you quickly exclaim, earning the stares of classmates around you, you apologize, quickly immersing yourself back into the conversation.
“i literally don’t even like him-”
“who don’t you like apple?” of course, jay joins your conversations, moving the seat next to you to sit down. you glare at him, “why are you even here? go sit at your seat.” you signal him to move away, to which he doesn’t listen. “well you have my jacket don’t you, princess?” eunbi watches the scene in shock as you pull out his jacket from your bag, handing it to him. “don’t call me that, i barely even know you,” you add, zipping up your bag.
“it won’t be like that for long, i'm sure,” he replies, moving the chair back as he sits in his assigned seat. eunbi, still in shock from the scene, hits you on the shoulder.
“what was that y/n?” she covers her mouth with her hand, laying her other hand on your shoulder. you hear the bell ring, meaning your conversation is over, “i’ll tell you later,” you whisper to her, turning to face the front.
when you told eunbi you would be telling her later, you didn’t mean her and chaewon. chaewon was waiting for you outside your class like always, when eunbi asked what happened between you and jay as you passed by the doorway she knew she had to join in.
“wait so jay did what?” chaewon asks, almost disappointed.
“while you were busy dancing your ass off with yeonjun, i was talking to jay in the kitchen and he kept flirting with me so i told him i knew he was playing with me and left. then i went to you and ya know, asked to go home. you declined so i went outside and sat on the sidewalk. he followed me outside and was like what can i do to prove i’m not playing you,” eunbi snickers at your imitation of him, as chaewon nods, letting you keep talking.
“and i guess he noticed i was cold so he gave me his jacket. anyways, i was like leave me alone and he was like no! so i was like okay can you drive me to your house?” you point to chaewon, so they know whose house it was. “and he did, and i tried to return the jacket and he was like no keep it and i was like no! but i accidentally brought it out of the car so i returned it to him today.” you finally finish, taking a deep breath.
“also chaewon you forgot my coffee today.”
“y/n, i told you to stay away from him! not ask him to drive you home!” chaewon disappointedly mentions, as you roll your eyes.
“that wouldn't've happened if you drove me home!” you counter, as eunbi watches the scene unfold.
“hey why don’t you give jay a chance? he might’ve changed his ways.” eunbi suggests, shrugging at your little argument.
“eunbi, we’re talking about jay park here. he wouldn't randomly just change his ways because of one girl.” you mention, reminding yourself of hyun-woo.
“you never know! maybe he will!” eunbi argues.
“yeah right, eunbi” you almost scoff.
006 ONE CHANCE
when you finally lie down after getting home, you feel a little vibration coming from your phone. you look at the notification, thinking it was a text from chaewon or eunbi, you open it.
unknown
hi apple, this is jay. are you free this saturday?
read 3:24pm
you
how’d you get my number?
jay
i have my ways 😉
are you free?
you
i am,,, i think, why?
jay
because i want to take you out
you
no
jay
we can go to the drive in, watch the movie yk
you
what movie?
jay
spirited away
you
no
jay
cmon it’s just one date
you
whatever
jay
i’ll pick you up at 7 apple ;)
read 3:32
the fact you knew you were going on that date almost infuriated you. it’s like you were begging for another hyun-woo situation. you didn’t want to say this was different, but something about it was. you had heard that jay doesn’t make first moves, so why was he so keen on you? what was so different about you that he wanted?
you couldn’t think of anything, nothing really made you special from anyone else, and you were fine with that.
but maybe, you could give jay a chance, just one.
007 THE DATE
the week felt much quicker knowing your date was on saturday, not like that was a good thing. you weren’t sure how you felt about the ‘giving jay a chance’ thing, but if this date goes well, hopefully, you wouldn’t be as opposed to it as you are now.
you looked in the mirror, deciding on your outfit. which took a lot longer than necessary. after about ten minutes, you chose your outfit, sprayed on some perfume, and packed things in your purse. the familiar sound of your phone vibrating filled the room, as you checked your messages, seeing that jay was outside your house. you rushed to the front door, carefully putting on your shoes and locking the door. in your driveway, you spot jay inside his familiar black car. you stepped inside, placing your bag on your lap.
“hi apple,” he smiles at you, backing out of the driveway, “you look nice,” he says, looking through the back window.
“thank you.” you return his smile, picking at the skin on your fingernails. he quickly notices, grabbing your hands and encasing it in his.
your face turns warm, as jay keeps his eyes on the road. “stop picking at your hands, i don’t have enough bandages for you.”
you side-eye him, turning to the window, watching each tree and car as they pass by. “have you watched spirited away before?” you ask, keeping your head facing the window,
he brushes your hand with his thumb, “i have when i was younger, i haven’t watched it for a while though.” he replies, turning the steering wheel to the left.
“i’m so excited to watch it!” you squeal, letting your excitement out. he chuckles, slightly turning down the music he played.
he turns into an open field, with a huge screen at the end of it, he continues to drive forward to find a spot and parks as carefully as he can, to help others park near him too.
he glances at you, then your lips only for a second, and looks back to your eyes. he leans forward as you stay frozen. was he trying to kiss you? right now? you want to move but you can’t. almost like your waist is frozen as you look at him with wide eyes.
he quickly grabs a bag behind your seat, looking in the bag with his infamous smirk. you try to ignore that trick, looking in the bag which is filled with snacks. you look up at him, asking for permission to take one, he nods, a smirk turning into a smile as you look through the (many) options he brought. noticing he brought your favorite, you take it, open it, and pop one into your mouth.
“thank you,” you say, taking another one.
he opens his bag, looking at you “you’re welcome, the cashier thought i was buying snacks for a party.”
“well, you didn’t have to buy so many snacks! you would’ve saved money if you had just asked me what i wanted,” you argue, looking at the filled grocery bag.
“well, spending money isn’t a problem when it’s for you.”
“yeah okay,” you turn your head to the window, whatever car had driven in suddenly seeming more interesting than the conversation you guys were having.
he almost giggles at your fake obliviousness, a toothy smile spreading on his face as he glances at the screen, looking for the countdown.
“the movie starts in under a minute, hope you aren’t looking to your side the whole time.”
“why would i be looking at you?” you scoff, shuffling around to comfortably sit as a yawn comes out of you.
“that’s not what i meant,” he teasingly adds, placing his arm back onto your thigh, leaning towards you.
“okay then what did you-” you quickly get interrupted when the countdown on the screen ends, starting the movie (idk how drive in theaters work). “nevermind,” you give in, leaning your arm on the side of the car as you prop your hand up to keep your head up. around halfway into the movie, your drowsiness slowly takes hold of you putting you to sleep.
008 DROWSINESS
you didn’t think you were that tired once you got there to the drive-in, but something about jay must’ve put you to sleep like a baby because why had you woken up in front of your house, on jay’s shoulder?
“when did we get here?” you mumble, sitting up and stretching your arms.
his eyes soften at your slightly messed up hair, barely being able to keep yourself awake.
“i just parked, you missed the whole movie,” he replies, turning towards you.
“what!” you exclaim, “but i was so excited to watch spirited away!” you complain, a pout forming on your face.
“so excited to watch the movie you fell asleep yeah?”
“shut up, i was tired!” you argue, grabbing your purse and opening the door to leave, “thank you for taking me, i had fun.” you blurt out, a red tint appearing on your face.
“i did too,” he smiles warmly at you, waving goodbye as you close the door and enter your house.
009 JAY’S DILEMMA
jay wasn’t usually one to fall in love he wasn’t one at all. every girlfriend he had, every situationship he had. never even came close to what falling in love was. jay wasn’t one to worry too much about a lot of things. but one thing he did care a lot about was his reputation. if he wasn’t able to make you fall in love with him. then he would be claimed as a homewrecker even if he didn’t even like you. but that’s not the point jay was trying to make.
the point was he could never get you out of his head. whether it would be a math question he was having trouble solving or even some of sunghoon’s arrogant comments, everything reminded him of you. jay never had this problem before. he never really cared about his old relationships, until you came in. messing up jay’s whole heartbreaker persona, with only him knowing.
jay still didn’t know what he felt for you on the drive home after dropping you off.
jay still didn’t know what he felt for you when he was laying in bed thinking at ungodly hours.
jay still didn’t know what he felt for you when you waved at him the monday after your date, which he waved back.
jay still didn’t know what he felt for you when he walked into your shared math class, watching you excitedly talk to eunbi about whatever.
he had embarrassed himself during the period because he was too busy with the thought of dating you, would he like that? would he like you to kiss him on the cheek or maybe on the lips? jay thought his answer was no.
but deep down, he knew it was yes.
but he would never admit that at least not to you.
010 LOVE
by now, jay had taken you on several dates throughout december to january. whether it would be studying, ice cream dates, or even museum dates. whatever date idea there was, he probably had done it. but one date he was saving for the big question, was a walk. late at night, with the moon shining brightly above the both of you, and only you two.
you two had already decided to meet at the closest park to your house. which he said was fine since it was the closest to his. he parked his car in a hidden spot, and walked to the swings, sitting down and rocking his legs slightly.
when he saw you excitedly walking towards him, he smiled.
this time, jay knew what he felt for you.
he didn’t have a simple crush or attraction towards you.
love is what he felt towards you.
love.
this wasn’t supposed to happen, but deep down, he knew all along.
love is what he felt when you walked side by side, talking about whatever came to mind.
love is what he felt when you stopped to take a picture of the moon, as he stopped to secretly take a photo of you.
love is what he felt when he asked you to be his girlfriend, to which you had said yes.
love is what he felt when you cuddled into his arm when you were cold.
love is what he felt when you stopped to tie his shoe.
jay’s night was filled with love. and so was yours.
jay hoped it would be like that forever.
011 BUS STATION
it had been two months since he asked you out. and since then he was always asking you to go to parties with him. this time, he asked for you to go to jungwon’s birthday party the following saturday (which was tomorrow).
you hesitate as always, declining to go, opting for a cuddle session in your room.
“apple, please! just for one of my closest friends!” he sulks, as he walks you to the bus stop you share.
he knows you can’t say no to him. which he always uses to his benefit.
“they’ll be some sparkling apple cider there, i know you don’t get to drink that a lot.” he confidently raises his eyebrows, trying to get something out of you.
you look back at him, putting on your pretend thinking face, “hmmm, maybe, i’ll think about it.”
he gives you a quick peck on the lips, to which your hands suddenly become jittery. “fine.” you mumble, looking away. he giggles, wrapping his arm around your waist, keeping you close as you continue to walk towards the bus station.
when you finally got there you quickly ran to the convenience store right next to the stop with jay. buying snacks as quickly as you could before running back out, not wanting to miss the bus.
that was a routine you two always had, and never had you missing the bus. you two proudly ate your snacks as the bus started to move. another routine you two had was jay giving you one of his airpods, to which you accepted listening to the cheesy love songs he enjoyed.
when you had gotten to your stop you two had both gotten up, hands intertwined as you exited the bus, turning the way to your neighborhood. you had stopped in place when you noticed apple cider by beabadoobee was playing.
“this doesn’t sound like the kind of songs you listen to. how do you know about beabadoobee?” you ask curiously.
“i don’t,” he answers honestly, before continuing, “i was looking at your playlist and i saw this song. and since it was called apple cider i decided to play it since you know, apple cider is kind of your thing.”
your smile grows, as you look at him with soft eyes, “then i decided to look at the lyrics, and it reminded me of us.”
if you weren’t blushing before, you were a flaming tomato now, butterflies erupted in your stomach as you try to keep your cool and keep walking, to which he noticed (but he didn’t say anything.)
when you had finally made it yourself you had given him a quick kiss goodbye, as he drove off to his house.
later you decided to facetime him to pick an outfit for you. which he did and stayed on call until hours on end. the call ended when you fell asleep, and jay hung up, letting himself get some sleep too.
012 APPLE CIDER
when you two arrived at the party it seemed much more sweaty than you had expected, the smell of weed and alcohol filled the air as you navigated your way to wish the birthday boy a happy birthday,
jay had finally spotted him in the living room, squeezing your hand and walking towards him.
“happy birthday jungwon!” you exclaim, projecting your voice over the speakers.
jay gives jungwon a side hug wishing him a happy birthday too.
“thank you for coming!” he points to a hallway, “drinks are over there, and jay, do you wanna play beer pong? losers have to take a shot after each round.” he grins at him, as jay looks at you for approval. you nod, as he smiles back at you. jay turns back to jungwon with a smile on his face.
“yeah for sure! uh let me get a drink first with y/n,” he tells jungwon, jungwon nods sending you two off to the kitchen.
when you walk into the kitchen you both grab a cup, you fill yours with sparkling apple cider as always, filling jay’s cup too.
“guess you listened to my pouring advice didn’t you?” he asks as you hand him his drink.
“i listen to all your advice.”
“but that was before we started dating,” he adds, you roll your eyes, handing him his drink and heading back to the living room to watch them play.
the teams were revealed as jay and jungwon teamed up versus heeseung and sunoo, you weren’t paying attention to any other games.
heeseung and sunoo had lost miserably, taking 5/5 shots. which was definitely too much alcohol for sunoo’s system.
sunoo seemed to be blabbering nonsense, as you and jay tried to bring him up to jungwon’s bedroom, where he could get some rest.
“ya know what jay once saidd,'' his voice came out slurred, as he stumbled after each step he took. jay looks at him confused.
“what did jay say?” you asked amused, hoping you would get some kind of blackmail against him.
“he saidd that he waz going to make you fall in love with him-” he trips with jay barely catching him.
“so he could get back on hyun-woo,”
“what?” you ask, looking at jay’s face worriedly.
sunoo’s drunk, you assure yourself. not capable of thinking straight at all.
“come on, let’s get you to bed,” jay responds, opening the door to jungwon’s room and laying him down on the bed.
don’t do this to me jay, not again. you worry, exiting the room and letting him fall asleep. jay looks at you anxious about what to say.
silence fills the hallway. you try to analyze his face to see some sort of innocence in his expression.
he didn’t seem to start talking, so you did, “was what sunoo said true? was i just your girlfriend so you could get back at hyun-woo and that stupid grudge you had against him?” your fingers automatically start picking near the nail bed.
he sighs in defeat, “look, yes you were but let me explain-”
“no! you don’t get to explain because you’ve been playing me for two months! two fucking months i could’ve spent with someone who actually loved me.” you argue, as he looks at you with guilt.
“i do love you apple! i swear-”
“if you loved me why didn’t you tell me earlier? I'm sure we would’ve resolved it by now instead of keeping it from me and letting me run along all oblivious to your plan.” you scoff, trying to head back downstairs.
the wound on your finger just seems to grow with each step you take, the red liquid slowly covering the new injury.
“apple please let me explain-”
you face him again, “did you not feel any guilt keeping this from me? every date we went on, every kiss we shared, was that all because of a stupid revenge plan? were you faking it throughout this whole relationship?” your lips quiver, as you prayed and prayed he would say the right thing.
but for some reason, he's frozen. like his world has stopped and so has he.
he knows he loves you and he knows he wasn’t faking it. so why was he blanking now?
you nod, wiping your tears away, wincing at the soreness of your picked finger as you leave that cursed hallway, heading to the stairwell.
“i don’t even get a goodbye?” was he serious right now?
you turn around, “jay, i was just told you dated me to get back on hyun-woo, do you think you deserve fucking goodbye?” you scoff, “honestly, i don’t even know why i gave you a chance,” and with that, you walked down the stairs, your legs slumping after each step.
you should have known, was all you could think. you should have known at the first party when he was shamelessly flirting with you. you should’ve learned that when you cried because he reminded you of hyun-woo. you should’ve known when he confidently asked you on that date. you should’ve known because chaewon warned you.
you should’ve known because it was all the same.
the flirting, the dates, the guy, and the breakup.
you grab your forgotten drink, throwing it in the trash, as you ask eunbi to drive you home.
eunbi had always been by your side. and you were always by hers. you two got so close that when you told her about hyun-woo, she immediately blocked him, and continued supporting you for which you were ever so grateful.
eunbi hurriedly rushes you to her car after seeing your messed up mascara, helping you get in.
“what happened?” eunbi asks once you're both settled, handing you tissues from the glove compartment and rubbing your shoulder.
“he dated me because he had a grudge against hyun-woo.”
“he what?” she exclaims, mouth hanging open.
i know,” you sniffle, trying to wipe away the tears coming down.
“i’m so sorry honey,” she mutters.
you don’t even want to hear any nicknames again, you don’t want to hear any “sorrys”. all you wanted was to be home.
why was it always you? why did you always have to be played? what was so bad about you that people just needed to break your heart? maybe jay would know, or hyun-woo.
“isn’t it crazy?” you laugh through your blocked nose, “is what crazy?” eunbi asks.
“this all started because i chose some dumb apple cider as a drink.”
taglist : @bookishcalls @jwonsociety @byhees @trsrina @quokkas-leebit @captivq @felixsunshine28 @lojocas @yeniiverse @starikizs @hanniluvi @misojunghwan
sorry if i missed yours!
yenqa © please do not copy, steal or translate.
#apple cider 🍎•*!#yenqa’s works!#jay x you#jay x reader#jay au#jay drabbles#jay fics#jay smau#jay angst#jay fluff#jay fic#jay scenarios#jay imagines#enhypen x y/n#enhypen x you#enhypen x reader#enhypen fics#enhypen fic#enhypen scenarios#enhypen reactions#enhypen drabbles#enhypen smau#enhypen angst#enhypen fluff#heeseung x reader#jungwon x reader#niki x reader#sunghoon x reader#jake x reader#sunoo x reader
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HI LOVE!!!! 🥺
if ur taking requests, could you pls do husband!Price with a reader who has ADHD?
I myself have ADHD and am extremely forgetful, and tend to feel emotions more intensely than others, which means I cry a lot and get told I’m over sensitive haha 🥺❤️❤️😭
Hi darling! My requests are open, I'm just loaded up with uni work. So sorry it took over a week for me to answer. (But if you don’t mind the wait, 100% send in requests!!). I hope I portrayed it properly, I kind of fall in the adhd spectrum myself but it can really vary from one person to another, so I hope it's relatable!
Anyway, here’s some soft!Price with ADHD!reader
I think he’d notice pretty early on, maybe not specifically labelling it as ADHD, but he’d pick up on the forgetfulness and how quick it could change to a hyperfixation. I think he’s observant enough that he’d kind of be able to pinpoint the moment in your thought process where you jump from the thing you just said you were going to do to whatever other task popped in your mind that pulls you away from it.- - - - -
He would grow used to it pretty quickly, used to sharing space with all kinds of people at base and adapting himself to better work with them. I also lowkey headcanon that Soap has ADHD so he’d already have an idea on how to work around it and some strategies in place to help you with it.
Although I think his main worry would be supporting you with the emotional side that comes with it. He’d be there for you at any time. It doesn’t matter what it is, he’ll dry your tears and talk with you about it. If you don’t want to talk or maybe it’s one of those days where you don’t even know why you’re crying, then he’ll just hold you close for a bit and help you get distracted when you feel better.
I think that even if he doesn’t fully understand it, he can get a grasp on how overwhelming it can get. He’d notice when you’re starting to get frustrated, when your brain just can’t find something that releases enough oxytocin to keep you entertained for long enough. He’d swipe in then, bringing up one of your special interests or one of the hobbies you gave up on a few months back, to see if it sparks some joy again. If it doesn’t he’ll find something new that you both can try together or somewhere to go and explore.
And don’t you dare apologise for any of it, he’d give you a full on scolding on how it’s not something to apologise for. (That’s who you are and who he loves, darling). He doesn’t care that you forgot to close the kitchen cupboard for the fifth time this week, nor that the clean dishes still sit on the dishwasher, nor the pile of folded clothes that still sit on top of the dresser. He’s happy to have you with him, to share space with you and he’d take a messy living room and arrive late to your reservations on date night every single time if it means he’s with you.
Also, he’d absolutely change things around the house and in his schedule if it means it makes things easier for you. He’ll change the organisation in all drawers and cupboards that need it so it’ll be easier for you to remember to put everything in its place. He’ll sit with you while you do work or chores, having casual conversation to keep you entertained and focused while you finish. Will sit there for hours if he has to, listening to you infodump about whatever thing your brain has last fixated on. And hold you for as long as you need when your emotions get too much and make you cry, one warm hand on your hip to hold you close while the other rubs your back.
And relating to the crying. Poor soul, the one who dares to call you oversensitive in his presence. He’d absolutely rip them a new one, ready to start a physical fight if it is necessary because (how dare you judge his love for something out of their control). As soon as he’s satisfied with the scolding the other person got, his full attention is back on you.
He’d pull you close, cup your cheeks and gently dry your tears with his thumbs. A small smile appearing on his lips, “don’t listen to them, love. You’re perfect just like this.” He presses a kiss to your forehead and lightly pinches your cheeks to get a smile from you. “Come on, let’s go home so you can tell me more about those books you have been reading.”
And the way your small pout and teary eyes change to a smile makes his heart soar. He throws an arm over your shoulders and holds you close as the both of you walk home, happily listening about the character arch of one of the main characters you tell him about. He’s already planning on wrapping you up on your favourite blanket on the couch while he gets ready some of your comfort food, how you’ll eat it together while you cuddle and watch one of your favourite shows or movies.
#cod x reader#x reader#call of duty#call of duty modern warfare#cod mw2#captain price cod#captain john price#captain price mw2#captain price x reader#john price x reader#soft!price#cod price#john price#captain price#price x reader#task force 141#gn!reader#gn reader#gender neutral reader
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superman - gabe perreault ❥
tw: angst? fluff? not proofread. this is my first fic lol. pls be nice!! inspired by superman by taylor swift
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
lottie woke up to the sound of an alarm going off knowing very well it didnt belong to her. it belonged to the snoring and now slightly grumpy boy wrapped around her. who was tightening his arms around her waist because he didnt want to let go. he turns and puts his alarm on snooze and turns back to the beautiful girl in his sheets mumbling something about how all he needed was just five more minutes.
“gabe you have to go, youre gonna be late” lottie softly says sleepily.
gabe huffs and untangles his arms from her waist as he sits up; not before leaning over and giving lottie a kiss on the cheek that never managed to fail and give her butterflies even if it was five AM. lottie watches gabes tall and dark haired figure disappear into the bathroom as her mind begins to wonder off into a realm of wonder.
lottie knew what she was getting herself into when she met gabe and ultimately decided to get involved with him. hes a hockey player who happens to be a pretty darn good one meaning he was going to be gone on roadies and there was going to be days where he was going to leave for roadies. at days at a time.
he walks out stuffing something in his bag so he can leave off and save the world; or go play hockey. Its the same thing to lottie. atleast in her imagination.
“you okay?” he softly says as he sees his girlfriend sitting up on his bed staring at him, in his shirt having a bit of a dazed look on her face.
“im fine, it just sucks youre leaving again. I feel like you just got back” lottie sighs.
she was right seeing as they just came back from christmas break last tuesday and it was currently friday morning and he was already leaving. again.
“i know baby, but i’ll call you everynight and ill be texting you as long as i have my phone” gabe says walking over to her and gently stroking her hair. “we’ll be fine we always are” he mumbles before giving her the sweetest forhead kiss.
lottie looks up at him with some words hanging off the tip of her tongue but for some reason she just cant voice them. shes not even sure what exactly she wants to say.
he has his mothers eyes.
lottie cant help but notice. as she stares into them.
they get pulled out of their little admiring eachother moment when gabes phone goes off. lottie knows its most likely will or ryan waiting for him downstairs in the car ready to drive to the buses. she knows he has a busy day.
“ill be out in a moment” gabe says into the phone rushing to get his bag not before giving lottie a swiss kiss “bye babe i love you” he says rushed.
if lottie wasnt awake two seconds ago she was definitely awake now. they stopped and looked at eachother wide eyed knowing damn well they hadnt said those words to eachother yet. I mean lottie knew she felt them she just didnt know how to voice them. he knew she loved him. right?
gabe looks at lottie for a moment waiting for her to say them back like any boyfriend who does nothing but support and love her, but lotties mind was anywhere but in the room. at the moment just wanted to crawl up into a little ball and cry because she couldnt help but overthink the fact he probably didnt mean them and it was most likely one of those moments where you accidentally say i love you like when your five and you accidentally call your kindergarten teacher mom. your not his kindergarten teacher lottie, your his girlfriend.
she decided to do what she does best and acted ditzy.
“good luck!!” she said, patting his chest with a smile that looked eerily ill.
gabe was taken aback. a little because the first time he wanted to tell lottie he loved her, he wanted to make it special. he couldnt believe he did it just like that 10 seconds before he had to be out the door. but mostly due to the fact lottie looked like a deer in headlights.
does she not love me? was it too soon? is there someone else? gabe couldnt help but think.
he stared at charlotte for a moment before nodding to himself in what lottie couldnt tell was disappointment or anger? walking out the door.
he had to know lottie has always loved him since the very first day. right?!? that she'll be waiting for him when he gets back, right?
lotties mind was going about one hundred miles per hour.
meanwhile, gabe couldnt wrap his head around what just happened.
“gabe-o you good buddy?” ryan ask, seeing as gabe got into the car looking like he was about to break into a million pieces.
“yeah ill be fine” he said while irrationally muting lotties messages of her telling gabe to call her. he puts on his beats quickly after that signifying he didnt want the conversation to go any further.
ryan and will give eachother a look before taking off and ultimately deciding to let it go knowing gabe would probably just temm them later.
meanwhile lottie was sitting on gabes bed wondering what the hell is wrong with her. gabe is what anyone would want in a man. hes a gentlemen he treats her as if she was a princess and hearing those words wanted to make her scream and kick her feet. yet when the time came she stared at him. he probably felt like crap and that was not what he needed going into a weekend of gamedays. she felt horrible seeing as he was leaving her on delivered or just read.
part of her knew she deserved it and she just wanted to desperately tell him how shes loved him from the very first day and she just hoped he didnt go off and do something irrational, because he had to know lottie was going to be here when he got back, waiting for him right?
… to be continued
#gabe perreault#gabe perreault x reader#ryan leonard#will smith hockey#nhl imagine#nhl imagines#hockey imagine#bc hockey
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The forgotten Twins birthday part 2
N/n-nickname
*The next day*
You woke up feeling arms tightly around your waist and head, you move your eyes around your room to see the sunlight peeking out through the curtains. You looked up and saw Jon cuddling you to his chest which is where you saw tear stain marks on his shirt, realising you fell asleep crying and he comforted you the whole time you felt a heat rush to your cheeks before shaking your head.
‘He’s my best friend…I can’t…can I..?”
You were around to get up when you heard your bedroom door open, you twisted your head around and saw Alfred with a tray of breakfast for both you and Jon, he smiled softly at you when he saw you had awoken.
“Good morning miss Wayne, how did you sleep?”
“Good morning Alfred I slept good thank you for asking” you replied softly
The older man smiled at you and placed the tray down on your bedside table before whispering…
‘He stayed with you the whole night, refused to let you go ma’am’
He stood up and walked out of door leaving you alone with a wonderfully smelling breakfast, your best friend/crush and your thoughts.
~meanwhile~
The boys were down in the bat cave trying to figure out how they were going to make this up to you, they knew it had to be perfect and that hopefully you would end up forgiving them. Bruce was sitting on a chair with his hands folded on his lap, Dick, Jason and Damian were all leaning against the wall of the bat cave and Tim was sitting on a chair facing the rest of the family.
“Well does anyone have ideas?” Bruce spoke after moments of silence
Nothing…
No one said a word
They had no idea what you liked
What were your hobbies?
What was your favourite music and movie?
When…
When was the last time someone in this family other than Alfred held you and let you cry into their arms
When was the last time any of them had actually spend a moment of their time with you…
Oh they were fucked.
~back with you and Jon~
(Your pov) (pls forgive me if this is bad)
I was eating the waffles Alfred had made for me quietly moaning in delight whenever I took a bite, that man knew how I liked my waffles, I looked down at Jon who was now cuddling my waist and blushed a little.
“I really am hopelessly in love…aren’t I?” I mumbled under my breath
I heard a soft groan before a sleepy voice spoke up
“Y/n?…mmm…come back to sleep it’s to early” Jon mumbled noticing i was awake, he then sat up and rubbed his eyes before noticing the food on the table meant for him. He grabbed it and we both continued eating until I looked up at his face again and saw maple syrup on the side of his lips.
‘Should I..?’ I thought before releasing a breath and leaning up kissing the side of his lips hoping he didn’t do push me away. I pulled back and saw a faint blush on his cheeks, he turned to look and me before cupping me cheeks and looking me in my eyes.
“Y/n…”
“Jon…” we both whispered each other names,I felt him press his forehead to mine gently rubbing my cheeks with his fingers as if I was a fragile doll ready to break at any moment.
I closed my eyes and leaned up gently kissing him, I felt him kiss back…and as I expected he tasted like maple syrup. We pull away both our faces flushed red and I feel Jon tilt my head up again.
He looked nervous but I placed my hands on the side of his face giving him an encouraging smile to hopefully give him the confidence to say what he was going to say to me.
Okaysoireallylikeyouandhavelikedyouforalongtimenowwouldyougooutwithme” he spoke quickly before hiding his face in my neck. I froze processing what he said before a smile appeared on my face and I pulled his head out my neck and kissed his nose.
“Yes yes yes!!” I squealed, happy that for once something was going right in my life
No one pov:
But what you didn’t notice was the boys standing at your door watching the whole thing happen. They were frozen, how were they meant to react, should they yell and tell you that you can’t date him…should they be happy and try to talk with you?
Bruce pushed open the door making you both turn towards him after hearing the creaking of the door. You fixed your posture before looking at the man who you called your father.
“Y/n we need to talk..all of us” he stated firmly while glaring at Jon as if to tell him to leave so it could be a private discussion. Jon glared back but kissed your cheek before heading downstairs shoving into your brothers as he went through your door.
“N/n we-“ jason started but you raised your hand making him pause. You looked at them all with disgust and hatred making them feel their hearts crack even more, this wasn’t their sister…no this was the product of what they had done.
“Don’t you dare call me that Todd, it’s Y/n or al Ghul to you..to all of you in fact! Don’t you dare call me any sort of nickname or even refer to me as a Wayne because clearly from how I’ve been treated I’m not a wayne!” You shouted slamming your fist into your bedside table.
How dare they come in here and act like they get to call you that when they were never around, Damian began walking to you stopping when he was in front of you and he took your hands in his.
“Y/n…my dear sister…please forgive us we didn’t mean for this to happen-“
“But you did…all of you did” you state pulling your hands out of his and turning your back to them, you let out a shaky breath refusing to cry for these men. You simply pointed to the door and said…
“Get out, as far as I am concerned Alfred and Jon are the only ones whom I have granted entrance to my room now leave” you spoke with such a monotone voice that made Tim look at you with teary eyes before leaving, Dick and the others following.
You stood and locked the door, leaning against it pressing your forehead to the cold wood before letting the tears flow and let out a sob, you were aware the boys could hear you but in that moment you didn’t care all you wanted was to be alone and cry.
And as for the boys well…
They all stood there outside their little sisters/Daughters door hearing her sob all because they weren’t around in her life…this was the one mistake they weren’t going to be able to fix..or were they?
@sem-blog245
@ladyagagaslefttoe
#platonic#batfam angst#angst prompt#batsis reader#batfam x batsis#batfam#jon kent x reader#damain wayne x sister reader#dick grayson x sister reader#tim drake x sister!reader#bruce wayne x daughter!reader#batboys x batsis#batboys#The forgotten Twin’s birthday
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Designated Person | Chapter 7
Pairing: Francisco “Catfish” Morales x F!Reader
Chapter 7: Dirty Laundry
Rating: Explicit (18+ only)
Word Count: 7.5k+
Content / Warnings: Reader POV, infidelity, past romantic & sexual relationship and related flashbacks, angst, food, AA meeting mention, alcoholism, lying, conflict avoidance, crying, female masturbation, unprotected piv sex, send nudes pls, hold the moan/secret sex, text message chains, movies, fluff, awkwardness, praise kink, daddy kink
Notes: I don't really have any notes! Just excited to share, I hope you like it.
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The first time you wake comes a result of Frankie clomping around the house as he gets ready.
It used to annoy you, how loud he can be in the mornings. But you’ve come to find it kind of comforting. Each cupboard slam and heavy footfall serves as a reminder that you’re not alone. That you’re safe.
You stay cocooned in your sheets while he goes about his noisy routine, eyes closed, cradled in that warm, fuzzy space between awake and not. Content.
When he leaves, a high-contrast silence takes his place. The slow rhythm of your automatic breathing lulls you back to sleep.
You’re surprised when your eyes flutter open at 10:34 AM.
Thanks to your opaque curtains, the room is drenched in darkness, despite the daylight trying to sneak in through the cracks. You squint into the brightness of your phone screen and read the text messages that came in while you were sleeping, all about a half an hour apart starting at 7:00.
> RORY:
> Good morning beautiful
> How are you today?
> I get off work at 3 today, wanna do something?
> I miss you
“Oh my god dude, chill out,” you scoff under your breath while typing a reply.
< ME:
< Sorry, just woke up.
< Yes! I’m cleaning today but that’s all I have planned. What’re you thinking?
He reads and responds immediately.
> RORY:
> We can check out that trail by the lake? Grab a bite to eat afterwards?
< ME:
< Sure
> RORY:
> Pick you up at 3:30?
< ME:
< See you then 😘
You toss the phone aside and sit up, scrubbing your hands over your face. Your eyes burn when you grind your fists into them and welcome a big yawn that stretches your lungs’ limits. A spasm catches your breath, shoving out a fit of coughs that leave you a little winded.
Yeah, go on a hike today, that will be fucking fun.
When you tiptoe through the kitchen, you find the coffee pot still on from when Frankie ran it this morning. Your nose wrinkles at its contents. The stale brew will be muddy and unsatisfying, but you pour it into a mug with some half & half anyway.
You settle into your spot on the old couch in your living room and pull the notebook out from under your arm. Between sips of terrible coffee, you jot down the nighttime thoughts still floating around your head.
Hard time falling asleep. Kept thinking about puppies, thinking I should have adopted that dog last year. Regret. No nightmares I think. Woke up at 10:30, feel tired still. Don’t want to go on a hike with Rory, but I am an idiot who can’t say no to people. I would rather stay home and be alone. I want it to be
You pause here, staring at the passage.
A jolt skitters across your ribcage. Blood rushes to your face. You glance around self-consciously, then cross out the last two and a half sentences. A few moments go by before you decide it doesn’t seem like enough, so you cross it out again and again, scraping dark lines into the notebook paper until the sentiment beneath is unrecognizable.
Then you drop the ballpoint of your pen a few lines below the redaction and start writing out your to-do list for the day.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” you mutter to yourself.
Frankie’s damp clothes stick to the circumference of your washer’s stainless steel drum. The rank scent that emanates from the machine reminds you of your grandparents’ house in the summer.
With a sigh, you empty your dirty laundry on the floor of the mudroom and pull his clean clothes from the dryer into your basket, replacing them with the damps, then replacing those with your dirties. En route to his bedroom, with your laundry basket propped on one hip, you text him.
< ME:
< I stg you leave your clothes in the washer dryer on purpose so I’ll fold them
He must be on his lunch break, because he texts back right away.
> FRANKIE:
> I would never 😉
The door opens with a creak when you step through the threshold, dropping your basket on the floor next to his bed. You take a selfie from the middle of the room and send it to him along with your response.
< ME:
< K well I’m gonna lick all your stuff after putting away your clothes
> FRANKIE:
> Promise?
< ME:
< Shut up lol
> FRANKIE:
> You look cute btw
Heat floods your cheeks. A smile spreads across your face as you fall back into his bed. The musk woven between the threading of his sheets tugs at you. Your skin tingles with want, and you find yourself pulling the covers over your body and burying your face in his pillow.
The phone buzzes beside you.
> FRANKIE:
> Feel free to take a nap or do whatever you want in there
You sit up and whip your head around, then text back.
< ME:
< Are you watching me
> FRANKIE:
> Are you in my bed?
< ME:
< … what if I was?
> FRANKIE:
> I wouldn’t mind one bit
> What are you doing in there?
< ME:
< It’s comfy, I’m laying down
> FRANKIE:
> Can I see?
Your stomach flips. The warmth in your face spreads, sprouting up all over your body. You lick your lips and smirk, then open the camera and take a picture of yourself and send it to him.
> FRANKIE:
> Wow 😍
> I’m going back to work. See you later tonight, sweetheart
You start and erase about five variations of a response before just locking your phone screen and slamming it down at your side. Your hands fly to your face. All your organs melt and pool hot between your thighs.
Fuck, you hate that he can make you feel like this.
… but you love it, too.
It’s intoxicating.
You know him well enough to know that, throughout his day, whether he’s tinkering around in some commercial airplane, or running diagnostic tests, or chatting with coworkers, he will be thinking about you. Wondering what you’re doing. Hoping that when he arrives home there will be a spot in his sheets marked unmistakably yours.
He always held a particular fascination with you touching yourself, a fact proven true last week when he got off watching you masturbate.
The memory pricks your skin. Your squeaky mattress. The exchange of gasps and whimpers and moans. His lust-blown eyes, all wild and black as they watched you.
Even before that, though.
When you were working for him, he would sometimes text you specific locations in his house, asking you to masturbate there, send him pictures, and leave your panties. Of course, you were happy to oblige.
There were a few times when he had you choose a place to fuck yourself. You gave him three clues, and if he guessed the location correctly, that’s where he would fuck you when he got home.
One Saturday night, you were watching Sarah while he and Angie went out on a date. He texted you exactly one minute after Sarah’s bedtime.
> FRANKIE:
> Baby in bed?
< ME:
< Yeah
> FRANKIE:
> Good
> Can you do something for me?
< ME:
< Maybe, what?
> FRANKIE:
> Go in my upstairs bathroom and take off that pretty dress
> Film yourself getting off in the mirror
> Then send it to me
< ME:
< Where are your manners sir
> FRANKIE:
> Pretty please 😘
So you did. You tiptoed into the bathroom and pulled your dress off over your head, which is all the effort it took to strip down to a red thong. You stood in front of the huge vanity mirror and pressed record.
When they came home, Frankie ushered an extremely inebriated Angie to their bedroom. He emerged a few minutes later and coaxed you into the bathroom. Between heated, whiskey-soaked kisses, he told you, “We have to be quiet.”
You nodded and raked your fingers through his hair, responding to his urgent mouth with your own. He locked the bathroom door and dug his phone from his pocket, propping it up on the bathroom counter before he pressed play.
You pulled your dress off, watching his reflection in the vanity mirror for telltale signs of him being shitfaced. A stumble or slur. Compared to other nights where he spent hours at the bar, he seemed fine, which was a relief.
From his phone, you heard your own whimper. You looked down and watched the past you, video you, flick your wrist beneath the cover of your underwear.
His belt clanked as he undid his pants, pulling your attention back to his reflection. You met his eyes through the mirror and watched the darkness in them churn. He slid your thong aside, head of his cock nudging against your entrance.
A rasp tickled your ear, “Look at you, the dirty little movie you made me—what were you thinking about?”
Your gaze dropped to the video. To video you grabbing your tits and biting your lips. He plunged forward, splitting you open, pulling a gasp from your lips, “Ffffuck—”
“Thinking about fuck?”
He started to roll his hips, driving his cock into you, slow and deep. Pleasure rippled up your spine. Video you slid your thong off and showed the camera your pussy.
Your lips parted to answer his question, but the words caught in your throat. It felt so wrong to tell him. He grabbed your shoulder and pulled your body against his, snapping his hips, pumping into you with sharp, hard movements.
“Holy fuck, Frankie—”
“Tell me what you were thinking about when you were playing with your pussy.”
“This,” you breathed, arching your back into his thrusts, each one a heatwave across your body, “You fucking me—trying to be quiet—trying to be a good girl—”
“You’re doing so fucking good, baby,” he purred, “Can’t get enough of this sweet pussy—drives me fucking crazy, Jesus Christ.”
Little whimpers and gasps started wriggling up your throat. Your eyebrows threaded together and lips parted with a croaked, “Frankie—”
“Fuck yes, baby, take it,” he hissed through gritted teeth, fucking you harder, faster, repeating under his ragged breath, “Take it, take it, take it.”
His cock rubbed along all the right parts of you, sending your pulse racing, adrenaline spiking when you remembered Angie asleep in the other room while he was there with you, dark gaze flicking between your video playing on his phone and your body bouncing off of him.
Your whimpers morphed into moans, immediately muffled by his warm, rough palm.
“Gotta be fucking quiet, sweetheart,” he panted in your ear, “I know it’s hard but you gotta do that for me, ok? Can you be a good girl for me, be quiet?”
You nodded. Calmed your moans into frenzied breaths. Lowered your gaze to the phone screen, where video you sank two fingers into your cunt and moaned, fucking yourself, just for him.
“That’s it,” he panted, wrapping his arms around your torso to hold you in place as he fucked up into you, hot breath heating the crook of your neck, “Fuck, that’s it, such a good girl for daddy, hmm?”
You couldn’t help the choked moan that escaped you.
“Say it, say you’re such a good girl for daddy—”
“I’m such—such a good girl for daddy.”
“Fuuuuck yes,” he groaned, one hand finding your clit, drawing frantic circles that flooded your body with a gooey, electric, pulsing energy, “Pussy so tight, feels so fucking good, fuck—”
“Oh my god,” you gasped, pushing against his thrusts, nodding your head, “Daddy I’m gonna fucking cum—”
“Holy fuck—that’s it, sweet girl, cum on daddy’s dick, you can do it.”
You lost yourself, forgetting all about the concession to be quiet—whining and moaning as your bodies slid together with this sick, wet, sucking noise—consumed by the throbbing fire at your center, amplified with each snap of his hips, with his dirty little praises whispered in your ear, cock filling you again and again until you couldn’t fucking handle it anymore and your pleasure reached a fever pitch.
Frankie released a deep, guttural moan as you clenched down, pussy fluttering around his length, white hot static vibrating across your body.
He plunged into you once, twice, three more times with a shudder, spilling inside you.
“Holy shit,” you panted, collapsing forward onto the bathroom counter. His grip softened and he went slack against your back. A few blissful moments went by like this before the spell broke.
“God, I wish you could stay,” he told you in a breathy murmur, pressing a kiss into your bare shoulder, “Wish I could wake up with you.”
And it sounded sweet on the surface, but you knew it was your cue to leave.
You think about it now.
About Frankie, and the video that you sent him while he was on a date with his wife. How she was under the same roof when the two of you fucked in the bathroom. How he had you call him daddy, and how you were such a good girl for him.
You think about how it is between you now, how good it would feel to give in to those reckless desires and fuck like you used to.
Your touch trails down between your legs as you imagine him here in the bed with you, cooing filthy things in your ear, rubbing your clit, laying heated kisses on your neck.
You grab your breast and pretend it’s him squeezing your flesh. Imagine his soft lips around your nipple, the roll of his tongue against it.
“Fuck,” you breathe, rolling your hips into your hand.
A whimper bubbles through your lips and the brazenness of it stokes your insides. Another whimper, this one louder. Tingles shoot up your middle.
You drag your fingers along your slit, moaning at the puddle of arousal pooling at your entrance, spreading it, coating your pussy in the slick substance.
“So fucking wet,” you gasp, gripping your tit harder, imagining Frankie there, touching you, watching you with awe, telling you how fucking good you’re doing.
Your fingers move faster, sliding easy against your lubricated nub, and you release a throaty moan, “So fucking good, daddy, you make me feel so good.“
The words out loud jolt your insides. You think: What if he saw me like this? What if he heard me? What if he knew I still fantasize about him?
A burst of feral energy overtakes you and you crawl up onto your knees, pulling your loose cotton shorts and underwear aside so your cunt is exposed to the room. You work one hand hard and fast against your clit. The other sinks two fingers inside you.
You roll your hips, fucking your hand, moaning out, “Fuck yes, Frankie, fuck me just like that, so fucking good, daddy, you’re gonna make me cum—”
Uttering the words out loud electrifies you. Heat churns beneath your touch, growing brighter and hotter as your wanton moans hit his bedroom ceiling. Pleasure starts to swell and your movements grow frantic, desperate, chasing that feeling as you whine, “Don’t stop, don’t fucking stop—”
You convulse around your fingers and gasp, twitchy prods of pleasure gushing at your center each time your slick fingers graze your clit, slowing as the waves ebb into a fuzzy kind of bliss that occupies your whole body.
You fall back in his bed, chest heaving, and try to gain your bearings.
Shame starts to creep at the edges of your post-orgasm fog. Without prompting, your brain tells you: I hate myself.
It stings.
You gulp and shake your head, whispering out loud, “I love myself.”
The correction soothes your hindbrain’s outlash enough for you to release a content sigh. A smile creeps across your face. You blink over at Frankie’s dresser, then rise to your feet and start folding his clean clothes.
As you tuck the folded clothes away in his dresser drawers, you find the underwear he snatched from your bedroom last week. Teal lace, all stiff with his dried cum.
You chuckle to yourself and shake your head. That familiar, reckless kind of satisfaction spreads through your veins.
It’s fucked up, but the thought of him getting off on the scent of you fills you with pride.
This is rocky territory. More than rocky, honestly. It’s dangling-off-a-cliffside-while-your-grip-is-slipping territory.
You both know it. It’s like neither of you can help it. Over and over, you fall back together like opposite poles of a magnet.
Are you drawn to each other because there’s something real? Or is it because of the thrill?
You remind yourself that there is something more between you and Frankie than sexual desire.
You laugh together, support each other, and enjoy your shared time. The bond you’ve formed is genuine. He has come to be one of your best friends. Second only to your sister, Leah.
There’s a softness when you’re with him, too. A saccharine kind of intimacy that curls around your body and makes you feel at home. It has always existed between you, even if he never admits it. He used to push it away, but more and more, it’s become commonplace when you’re together.
You swallow hard and shake your head, finding that you’re still staring at these cum-encrusted panties. You know Frankie won’t be able to bring himself to throw them in with the rest of his laundry. That would mean washing your scent, throwing your gift away.
A little flint of arousal sparks at the base of your spine.
After dropping the teal lace into your laundry basket, you shimmy your shorts and underwear down your legs, then wipe yourself off with the gusset of your floral cheeky bikini. You shove them into his dresser drawer in place of the spent pair.
Two flimsy cardboard boats slide out onto the "PICK-UP HERE” window’s ledge. A booming voice follows, “Order number 32!”
Rory glances down at his receipt, then tucks it in his pocket as he steps through the crowd of hungry onlookers and approaches the rusted-out food truck. He returns holding one basket in each hand, a victorious smile dawning on his face, “Where should we sit?”
You squint around your surroundings and spot a shaded patch of grass beneath the gnarled trunk of a buttonwood tree, then point to it, “Ooh, over here!”
“Got it!”
Rory jogs ahead and lands on the grass before anyone else can claim the spot. You catch up a few seconds later and sit down next to him, crossing your legs. He hands you your shrimp tacos and you murmur a thanks to him while balancing the basket on your knee.
Under the eaves of the buttonwood tree, you find relief from the unrelenting sun. Your skin, all heated and gleaming with sweat, thanks you profusely. The cool earth somehow feels icy against your palms when you lean back and stretch out. You pull your sunglasses up on your head and tilt back to look up through the twisted branches of the tree, “Fuck, it’s hot out.”
You’re never really sure how to start conversations with him.
“Yeah,” he follows your gaze up into the tree, quickly losing interest. A deep breath expands his lungs as he looks around the park, finally settling his gaze on a playground, “You ever take the kids you babysit out here to play?”
Your nose wrinkles a bit when he calls you a babysitter. You follow his line of sight to and watch hordes of squealing, laughing children crawl all over the playground.
“Not this park, but I take them to the one by their house. It has a splash pad and this playground with water features. They love it, it’s pretty cool.”
He nods.
“When I worked for Frankie and his wife, I took their daughter, Sarah, here a lot. She was still just a little squish, but, you know, there are all these trails with cool trees and there’s the lake, and another playground further down that-a-way.”
You point to your left. He doesn’t seem to care much about what you’re saying, but asks, “Is that a job you see yourself having long-term?”
It’s a question you’re familiar with answering. Always tainted with judgment, insinuating that your job is that of bored teenagers trying to make a buck over the summer.
“Yep,” you tell him with a close-lipped smile, tilting your head as you wait for him to say more.
“How will that work when you have kids? Do you want to be a stay-at-home mom, or will you bring the kid with you, or what?”
With a shrug, you tell him, “Figure I’ll see where I’m at when the time comes and go from there.”
Rory hums and nods, brow furrowing at the ground like he’s soaking this in, then he says, “It’s nice that you do that. I like that you’re a caretaker.”
It takes you by surprise. His gaze meets yours and you smile at each other for a moment.
“Thanks,” you say and bring your attention to the boat of shrimp tacos resting on your knee, finding them cooled down enough to eat.
After finishing your food, you and Rory start off towards his vehicle, hand-in-hand. The trail winds by the playground you were watching from afar. Like playgrounds often are, it’s total chaos. Children screaming, running, climbing, crying.
You spot one little girl sitting in the sand, digging a hole between her splayed legs. She seems oblivious to the world around her. The dark ringlets dangling around her cherub face wiggle as she talks to herself, eyebrows raising expressively like the one-sided conversation is intensely interesting.
She must feel you watching her, because her spine straightens and she looks around. When her dark brown eyes meet yours, her face lights up in recognition, and she squeals your name.
You stop in your tracks and can’t restrain the wide smile from spreading across your lips, “Sarah!”
Aside from the brief glimpse you caught of her the day Frankie moved in, and the grocery store shortly after, you haven’t seen her in over a year. She’s grown so much. Her chunky, wobbly baby legs have elongated and grown more capable, allowing her to run towards you, arms outstretched.
When she reaches you, you scoop her up, twirling her around as you give her a big hug, “How are you, sweetheart? I missed you!”
Sarah squeals with delight and says, “Missed you!”
A cool rush of panic spreads across your skin when you look around and ask, “Where are your parents, sweetie?”
“I’m digging a hole!”
“Oh wow, you’re digging a hole?” you laugh and shift her onto your hip as you continue to study the sea of faces, ears growing hot when you remember Rory standing behind you. The last time you saw Angie, she insulted you in broad daylight. How the fuck would you explain that to Rory if it happens again?
“Hey!”
The familiar voice is sharp with outrage. Frankie’s hand grips your shoulder and spins you around to face him. His chest is heaving, jaw clenched, eyes aflame with fury.
You have never seen him like this.
Your eyes widen and you hold your palm up to him, “Just me, sorry!”
He studies your face, still red-hot anger, then it seems to come into focus for him. His shoulders relax with a relieved exhale, then his features soften and grow apologetic, “Oh, hey.”
You bring your hand back to your hip to support the weight of Sarah and chuckle, “Sorry, I wasn’t trying to scare you—”
“No, no, it’s ok.”
“We were just walking, and, umm,” you gesture back at Rory, trailing off when you see Angie approaching, arms crossed, beautiful face squared off in a stern expression.
Frankie’s gaze flicks to Rory and he gives a nod of recognition before returning his attention to Sarah, “Did you see your friend and go to say hi?”
Sarah smiles sweetly and nods, then starts wiggling to be put down. You grant the request, lowering her to the ground and letting her go. She gallops back to her hole in the sand, while you call behind her and wave, “Bye, Sarah!”
Your face scrunches up into a wince when you meet Frankie’s eyes again, and you shrug, “Sorry.”
“Don’t sweat it,” he waves you off with a smirk.
“Hey,” Angie greets, surprisingly calm. Her fingers curl around Frankie’s bicep and she blinks at you.
“Hi, Angie,” you give a nervous nod, plastering on a smile that’s too eager, “I was just passing by with my, um,” you swallow hard and turn to Rory, waving him forward, “My boyfriend, Rory.”
Your voice is shaky. This is a nightmare.
Rory’s arm wraps around your waist from the side and he gives a polite wave, “Hi.”
“This is Angie Morales, Frankie’s wife,” you tell him.
“Pleasure to meet you,” Rory smiles and extends a hand to her. Angie says nothing, just shakes his hand while wearing this Mona Lisa smile and steps back beside her husband.
The silence that follows is painful.
“Ok, well, sorry again for the scare,” you sigh, looking down at your feet, “It was really nice to see Sarah, I miss her a lot.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Frankie says, and you look up to see his brow knit together, dark eyes all apologetic, “I’ll see you at home, yeah?”
You nod at the ground, then tell Angie, “Good to see you.”
She raises an eyebrow and laughs at this. It feels like a slap. You suppose it’s better than her screaming insults at you, though. Or, like, a real slap.
When you turn and walk away, Rory’s hand finds yours again. His grip is warm and steady, and he frowns over at you, “You ok?”
You forgot to adjust your face. The pain bubbling up inside you must be obvious. Traitorous tears spring to your eyes, thankfully hidden behind the dark of your sunglasses. You clear your throat and nod, “Yeah, I’m fine.”
It sounds watery and false.
“Hey,” he stops walking to turn towards you, “What’s wrong?”
You shake your head and sniffle, “Nothing, I’m fine.”
He raises his eyebrows, searching your face, “Really?”
Your teeth catch your tongue. Dull pain wells up in each section of the soft muscle you clamp down on, providing a microscopic release. With a deep breath, you look down at your feet and shrug, “I just—I guess I missed her more than I realized.”
“Come here,” Rory murmurs, ushering you into a hug. You oblige. His body seems to awkwardly wrap around you, but it brings you a small dose of comfort. Even if he doesn’t feel or smell like home.
“What’s the deal with his wife, why did she seem mad?”
Fuck. You were hoping he wouldn’t notice, or ask.
“She, um… she thinks I stole something from her,” you tell him, “That’s why I don’t work for them anymore.”
Misleading, sure, but not entirely a lie.
He hums, rubbing your back, “You care about her a lot, huh? The little girl?”
“Yeah,” you croak. A few tears spring from your eyes. You squeeze your eyelids shut and wish them away.
Rory kisses your hair and gives you a tight squeeze, “Should we keep going?”
You sniffle and pull back from his embrace, flashing him a tight smile as you nod, “Yeah.”
When Frankie comes home, you’ve already resigned to your room for the night, content to wallow in self-pity you have no right to feel.
His footsteps creak against the floorboards as he makes his way through the kitchen, into the hallway outside your room. A knock comes at the door.
You sigh and pout to yourself, then call out, “Come in.”
Frankie opens the door and hovers in the threshold. You pause Stardew Valley and look over from your laptop, raising your eyebrows in question.
“Hey,” he says, puppy dog eyes in full force, crossing his arms, “How’s it going?”
“Oh, you know.”
He hums and studies you for a moment, shifting his weight into the doorframe, “Earlier was… It was weird, right?”
Your eyelids flutter. You shrug, “She didn’t call me a slut this time, which was… nice.”
He chuckles at this. You don’t crack a smile.
When your lack of amusement registers to him, he clears his throat and pushes off of the door frame. He makes his way around the bed and sits down on the opposite side, scooting close to you. You roll your head on your shoulders and watch him reach out to touch you, then decide against it, fingertips curling onto his lap instead.
“Look, I’m really sorry,” he says finally, but doesn’t look at you.
“For what?”
“I know you miss Sarah. And I know my reaction earlier was—was,” he sighs and shakes his head, “It wasn’t great.”
“Frankie, you thought I was a abducting your child—”
“I mean after that,” he turns to you now, sincerity etched in his features, “I could have let you hang out with her, or been nicer or something, I don’t know. I just—I know, in my gut, that I could have done better. And… I’m sorry.”
An ache of affection spreads across your chest. You reach out and rest your hand on his forearm, thumb grazing his skin as you search his face, “I appreciate that, thank you.”
A small, relieved smile graces his lips. He nods, “Of course.”
Then he seems to relax a little, leaning back onto one elbow as he squints at your laptop screen, “Whadda you have going on here?”
“Exploring caves, fighting monsters.”
“Sounds nerdy,” he teases, “Figures you’d like it.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” you laugh and give him a playful shove, “You think I’m a nerd?”
“Maybe,” he grins.
You scoff and shoot him a mock glare, “On what grounds?”
He frowns, looking up at the ceiling like he’s thinking about it, then shrugs, “Basically just this, but you’re cute when you’re all riled up.”
“Wow,” you laugh, covering your face as it heats up, “So rude.”
He grins and lays back in your bed like he’s making himself at home here, so you join him, resting your head on his shoulder. His cheek presses into the crown of your head. You resume playing Stardew Valley.
Some time passes like this, cuddling with him while he idly plays with your hair, asking you questions about the game like he’s interested. When the sun sets and you both start yawning at regular intervals, you tuck the laptop away in your nightstand. Frankie doesn't move.
You return to your pillow and roll on your side to face him, tucking your hands under your cheek. He mirrors the action, just a foot or so away. His warm gaze works around your face and he murmurs, “Do you want me to go?”
It’s so quiet you can hear your pulse pounding through your arteries.
“Not really.”
A small smile flicks across his lips. He looks down at his clothes, “Do—do you mind if I, um…”
“What, you don’t wanna wear jeans to bed?” you snort.
He chuckles and shakes his head, “They’re not great pajamas.”
“Go change, I gotta wash my face and stuff anyway,” you yawn, rolling onto your back, stretching your arms into the air.
The two of you go about your bedtime routines. When you return to your room, Frankie is laying on top of the covers, arm tucked behind his head as he scrolls on his phone. He changed into gray basketball shorts and his old, worn out Metallica t-shirt.
“That shirt is gonna crumble into dust one of these days,” you tease while plugging your phone into its charger.
He sets his phone down and looks at his shirt, then grins up at you, “Until it does, I’ll be wearing it.”
You shake your head at him, peeling back the covers with shaky hands. He sits up and wriggles between your sheets as you turn off your bedside lamp and crawl in beside him.
For a few moments, it’s just quiet in the dark. Neither of you move or say anything. You imagine he’s staring at the ceiling with tingling nerves just like you, filled with uncertainty and fear and want. Not sure what the “line” even looks like anymore because it’s been blurred so much it’s indistinguishable.
Every other time you’ve fallen asleep together since he moved in, it could be chalked up as either accidental or, like when you were sick, necessary. Excusable if brought forth as evidence by others, or each other, or yourselves.
But this is different.
It’s intentional. No plausible deniability in sight. Heat blooms in your chest and between your legs. He feels so far away.
“Frankie.”
“Hmm?”
“Would it be weird if I asked you to hold me?”
He lets out an amused scoff. The bed squeaks and shifts as he rolls on his side as you scoot closer to each other. His hands find you under the covers and he pulls your back to his chest, tucking one arm under your head while the other wraps around your belly.
“It’s not weird,” he murmurs, pausing for a second before saying, “It should be, but it isn’t.”
This makes you smile. It’s a relief to hear him say it. You relax into his embrace and rest your arm atop his at your waist.
The darkness surrounding the two of you seems to hold space for honesty. It’s that sort of feeling you got at sleepovers when you were younger, when you and your friends would whisper secrets to each other in the dark.
“I have nightmares sometimes,” you tell him.
“I know.”
You know he knows. He’s been there to wake you from them and calm you down in their wake at least a dozen times. Regardless, there’s this buzzing under your skin like you need to tell him.
“I can never remember what happens except—except, um,” you blink your eyes open and swallow the thickness in your throat, shaking your head, “There’s this feeling, like… I know that he’s chasing me, and if he catches me, I’m never going to escape.”
His body seems to tense a little. He looks down at you, “Who?”
“I don’t know. I can’t remember.”
You can feel the question occupying his tightened muscles, and say, “It’s not you.”
“But if you don’t know—”
“It started before you,” you lace your fingers with his, letting your eyelids drift shut, “And, besides, I don’t feel like that with you. I feel… safe.”
He relaxes around you with a sigh that sounds like relief.
“When I lived alone it was hard. I’d wake up alone and scared, and I couldn’t fall back asleep,” you murmur, “But it’s been better lately.”
He hums. The noise vibrates against the nape of your neck. His thumb brushes against your midriff.
“I don’t know why I’m telling you this,” you admit, “I guess… I just want you to know it’s nice having you here.”
The wet swallow of his throat makes you start to worry you said too much, that you showed too much belly. You brace for him to pull away. But when his voice breaks the silence, it sounds raspy and damp. Heartfelt.
“You don’t think I’m a burden?”
You almost laugh. Not because it’s funny, but because it’s ridiculous.
“Not even a little. I’m happy to have you.”
“I’m happy to be here, mariposa.”
The nickname stings a little. A sharp, precise prick to the center of your chest. But his arms squeeze around you tighter, bringing you closer to his warmth.
Your lips curve into a slight smile and you feel the tug of drowsiness on your limbs.
“No funny business back there tonight, Franklin,” you mumble out, your words fuzzy with fatigue.
“Yes ma’am,” he nuzzles into your hair, his own voice groggy and low, “Best behavior.”
That warm, soft intimacy settles deep in your bones and makes you feel at ease. Safe. Loved. And it’s not long at all before sleep overtakes you.
Your Friday nights used to be synonymous with drinking.
It meant going out to the bar to get drunk and dance and maybe find another lonely soul to spend time with. It meant blackouts and bar tabs and spending your Saturdays absolutely fucking miserable.
Truth be told, you much prefer your new Friday night ritual: Movie Night.
You and Frankie each get to pick any movie you want and stuff your faces while watching them back-to-back. After work, you pick him up from his AA meeting and load up on junk food, then head home.
Tonight, the two of you walk side-by-side down aisle 5 of your neighborhood grocery store, moving at a leisurely pace across the glossy white tiles. A country music station broadcasts softly over the store’s speakers. From the cash registers up front, you hear the rhythmic beep of customers being rung up. Probably the only other people in here, honestly, it’s fucking dead.
“What’s your movie pick?” Frankie asks while tossing a bag of classic potato chips into the red basket hanging from the bend of his elbow, “And I swear to god if you say Moulin Rouge! I’m instituting a no-repeat policy.”
Your laughter ricochets down the aisle and you shake your head, “Don’t act like you don’t like that movie! I know you do.”
“I mean yeah, but… there are other movies.”
“Other… movies…?”
He snorts and shakes his head at you.
“Actually, I wanna watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,” you tell him, slowing to narrow your eyes at a bag of salt and vinegar kettle chips, “Do I want pretzels or salt and vinegar chips?”
“Why not both?” he shrugs.
You scrunch your nose up, tossing your head from side-to-side, then grab the kettle chips and drop them into your basket, “What’s your movie pick?”
“I’m between Dazed and Confused and The Wolf of Wall Street,” he says, glancing over at you.
Your face lights up and you coo, “Ohhh Dazed and Confused, please!”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe?”
He grins at you and shrugs, “I will take your opinion into consideration.”
“What, I can’t help you choose?”
“It’s my pick,” Frankie chuckles, “You can’t pick my pick!”
You roll your eyes at him. The two of you round the corner, merging into the vacant main aisle, and you say, “Fuck, I want ice cream.”
“I want a fucking drink,” he mutters offhandedly, then notices your concerned stare and says, “Sorry.”
“Do you really?”
His brow furrows as he considers this, eventually admitting, “In a way, yeah.”
You know you shouldn’t take it personally. He’s an alcoholic. But that rationale doesn’t stop the ache that spreads across your chest.
Frankie must recognize your hurt, because he nudges you and adds, “Not because I don’t like this or anything.”
You give him a warm, reassuring smile as you turn down the freezer aisle. He continues.
“It just lingers, I guess. Like I think I could drink and be fine,” he comes to a stop in front of the ice cream, glancing around before staring forward into the freezer like it holds all the answers, “Everything is just so… raw without it. All the feelings I’ve never dealt with, they keep bubbling up and it’s—I don’t know, it’s a lot.”
It surprises you that he’s talking about this so openly, in a public place and everything. Two months ago you could not have dragged these words from his mouth under any circumstances.
You nod as you study him, “Well, um… I know it’s hard, but I’m glad you’re doing it.”
He doesn’t really react, just continues to look at the ice cream. His eyes are a million miles away, though. Lost in thought. You lay your hand on his shoulder and graze your thumb against him, “Francisco.”
His jaw tightens.
“Hey, look at me.”
He blinks a few times, then swings his gaze to meet yours.
“I mean it. It’s been a pleasure getting to know the real you, in all your, uhhh,” you stop and try to come up with something eloquent, landing on, “sober glory. I know it’s a lot. But I can see that it’s making a huge difference. You’re so far beyond where you started. It’s… it’s really brave to choose sobriety. I’m proud of you, Frankie.”
It all kind of spills out of you. A collage of sentiments you’ve been keeping to yourself thrown crudely together here in the middle of the freezer aisle.
His brow creases, eyes all dewy as they flick around your face. You worry that what you said doesn’t make sense, or that maybe it was insensitive. But then, his basket falls to the floor with a clatter and he pulls you into a hug.
Again, you’re taken by surprise.
You just stand there for a moment, kind of awkward with your basket dangling in one hand.
He squeezes you tighter. Unbridled appreciation flows from him. Your stomach flutters and tears prick your eyes. You drop your basket to properly return the gesture, wrapping both arms around his torso, pulling him close.
The warmth of his body surrounds you. You take a deep breath, inhaling the comforting musk of his skin, exhaling tension, melting into this softness.
Frankie sniffles and kisses the crown of your head, murmuring into your hair, “Thank you.”
You part ways, both taking a step back to see the others’ glossy, red-tinged eyes.
And you’re not sure exactly why, but then you both laugh. Not in a nervous way. More like joy. It bubbles beneath your skin and makes you feel hopeful.
He picks his basket up off the ground and clears his throat, turning back to the freezer door, “Anyway, ice cream.”
When the end credits roll on Dazed and Confused, you stand up off the couch and start towards the kitchen, asking Frankie, “Need anything?”
“I’m good, thanks,” he answers with a yawn.
You pull open the cupboard and find a bag of popcorn, then toss it in the microwave. While you wait for it to pop, you check your phone. Three unread messages.
> RORY:
> Hey
> How was work?
> Doing anything fun tonight?
“Hey, I was thinking,” Frankie says as he shuffles past the dining room table, into the kitchen. You set your phone down on the counter and cross your arms, looking up at him.
“Next week is Sarah’s birthday, Ang is throwing a party on Saturday. Do you want me to see if she would let you come?”
The question leaves you momentarily speechless. You never thought it would be a possibility, and the offer completely blindsides you.
Your mouth gapes open and you blink, “I, um—well, I—”
“If you want to, I mean.”
You frown and meet his eyes, “Well, yeah, obviously I want to, but is Angie really ok with that?”
“I’ll talk to her,” he says, leaning back on the counter next to you, “She’s been more receptive lately. And—and I think if you brought Rory, she would feel more reassured, that, um…”
Your stomach drops like a rock.
A clusterfuck of messy emotions tangle and twist inside your body. At the tip of your tongue sits the question: That, what, there’s nothing going on between us?
You look over at him and search his face. It’s unreadable. He’s frozen like he knows he came dangerously close to mentioning the elephant in the room and doesn’t know what to do next.
The air thickens.
Moments go by that feel like centuries.
You can’t stand it anymore, and lead him to continue the thought, “That what?”
He turns to face you and looks fucking terrified. Forehead creased. Eyes wide. Lips parted like apologies are about to come spilling out of them.
You hold his gaze. Try not to notice the pungent energy pulsing between your bodies, or the way his eyes soften when he looks at your mouth and takes a step towards you.
For one heart-stopping moment, you think he’s going to kiss you.
A beep sounds from the microwave.
He looks to the source, trance broken, but your eyes stay trained on him. On the elongated bob of his throat swallowing nerves. On the restless, twitchy movements that suddenly seem to possess him.
When he notices you’re still staring at him, he only allows a brief glance before dropping his gaze to the ground and shoving his hands in his pockets, finally saying, “I—I just mean that I think she’ll be ok with it. And—and Sarah would be excited to see you.”
You pause before you react, trying to decide whether or not to ask him the question tearing apart your insides like a rabid dog: Do you want me to go so I can see Sarah, or so you can continue to lie to your wife?
Simultaneously, you cannot ask him and you need to know.
You tell yourself: He’s in recovery. He needs support, not criticism.
You say: Let him figure out the missing pieces in his life and put it back together. Even if the shape it takes breaks you.
“Ok,” you give him a tight nod and push off the counter, pulling the microwave door open, “If she’s fine with it, I’d love to go.”
“Yeah?”
You pinch the corner of your bloated popcorn bag and pull it out, nudging the microwave door closed, then turn to face him, but don’t look up, “Yeah, I’d like that.”
A small, distant voice says: You fucking coward.
#designated person#frankie morales#frankie morales angst#frankie morales x ofc#frankie morales x you#frankie morales x reader#frankie catfish morales#francisco catfish morales#francisco morales#pedro pascal character#pedro pascal#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal character fanfic#pedro pascal character fanfiction#triple frontier#triple frontier fanfic
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omfg request time because i cannot stop thinking about how this would go
but could you please write an alhaitham fic with the prompt "who did this to you?" with the whole showing up at his doorstep late in the night thing? no pressure and doesn't have to be long at all!!
~ nessa ♡
genshin impact ; requests
2023/byizoyas. — pls do not plagiarize or repost and claim as yours ! thank you very much :)
✘ sfw. modern au. coming to his apartment late at night, crying. bonus ‘who did this to you’ trope for nessa ✘ alhaitham x gn!reader
incessant sobbing and a sad song was all one could hear from your room at this moment.
you were not usually that dramatic but you didn’t remember someone hurting your feelings so hard before and since it came from your family, you had a hard time calming yourself.
words are meaningless they said; but if they saw you now, would they say the same ? your eyes were all red and swollen from the tears and your body wouldn’t stop shaking, putting you in an even more uncomfortable state.
you looked around yourself. you were alone. but loneliness was most likely the very last thing you needed now. you craved an embrace, not just by anyone; by a friend.
you scrolled down your contacts to find the person that would perhaps be awake as it was pretty late at night.
‘kaveh’ you said to yourself, typing as fast as you could as if your phone would disappear from your hands from a minute to another.
r you home ? need someone rn :(
your text was delivered and as you kept staring at the screen, waiting to see it changed to a read status, your leg started shaking by itself.
the music had stopped by now, and as your tears kept on falling down by themselves, you at least stopped being so loud. you didn’t know if it felt better to cry your heart out, almost screaming on the pillow or not but at least you could breathe in and out more easily now.
you only had to wait a few more minutes before kaveh replied.
come to my place
that was his only text and you needed no more to simply put on your shoes and leave your house.
their words were repeating in your brain, and as you started to think about how you would never forget it, the tears came back. you looked around quickly, making sure no one saw you in this miserable situation.
no one was around. now you started to think the world was sending you a message. you didn’t live in a little city at all, you were in a pretty big one actually. and as it was friday night, there usually was a few people hanging around.
but tonight, on the night you needed to see people, you were left all alone with your thoughts and tears.
you shook your head, throwing all the negative thought away when after a few twenty minutes of walking, you arrived near kaveh’s address. it wasn’t lightened so you started asking yourself whether he was still up.
you didn’t take long to come you thought. perhaps he was in his room then; so you knocked on the door several times.
your phone displayed 3 am. you really went through the city so late at night only to vent to your friend; but the longer you were standing waiting by the door, the more you started to regret your choice. perhaps you were annoying him; perhaps he had things to do, other than listening to you.
you turned around after overthinking it, ready to leave and go back to your house when you heard the door opening, quickly followed by the familiar voice of alhaitham.
‘y/n ? what are you doing here ?’ his voice was monotonous and obviously he had just woken up.
‘a-alhaitham, hi. i wanted to see kaveh but i guess he’s not there.’
you looked away, avoiding his eyes that seemed to read right through you.
‘indeed he went out tonight.’
you looked at your feet now, before looking back at him. ‘oh. i will take my leave then, sorry for disturbing.’ you waved at him and tried to leave for the second time tonight when he took your wrist.
‘wait. are you okay ?’
of course his observant eyes were not going to miss the obvious pain written all over your face. he, who usually remained stoic, seemed quite worried now.
could it be that he worried about you ? or was it just you that needed something to change your mind ? in any case it did make you feel at ease and way better than before.
‘yeah!’ you lied. you always did, but as much as you were close to kaveh, you were never that close to alhaitham. you only exchanged banalities most of the time, and a few jokes around.
yet he didn’t seem to believe you; as if he knew you better than that and in the end, perhaps he did.
‘liar. come in and wait for kaveh.’ he almost ordered. ‘it’s late, i wouldn’t want to have it on my conscience if something bad happened to you.’
now he was the one looking away.
you quickly followed him inside the apartment since he kind of insisted. the excuse of not wanting to have something bad on this conscience was only hiding his genuine worry about you.
you guys went on the couch, watching tv but it was only on to fill the silence. none of you spoke. and none of you were paying attention to the series playing on the plasma screen.
alhaitham wasn’t so good with comforting people. a part of him wished he could just hug you and speak nice words that would ease your pain but nothing came.
meanwhile you were still overthinking your night. you calmed down but somehow it felt like a giant wave was about to drown you when the words echoed again.
you apologized to the man who was sitting next to you and went to the bathroom to refresh yourself with some cold water.
now you looked real messy. your hair half wet half dry, your face fully drowned in tears and your eyes swollen like before.
you despised the way you looked and you despised even more the way you didn’t manage to cry quietly because you heard alhaitham knocking on the door.
‘y/n open the door.’ he asked. but the door wasn’t closed anyway and after some seconds, alhaitham didn’t have the patience to hear your crying and not to anything about it so he opened the door only to find you sitting down, head on your arms.
you looked up at him. alhaitham gulped at the sight. you were often laughing, always the one joking around with both he and kaveh and he couldn’t believe that you were the one crying on his floor now.
‘who did this to you ?’ he asked, his brows frowning; betraying both his annoyance and anger. he hated to see you like that and he wished to never see you that way again.
he kneeled in front of you and took you into his arms. you couldn’t find strength to say anything so you kept on sobbing against his body, tightening the hug.
his embrace felt good, it really did and you were so grateful for that. you intended on kaveh to be there for you but alhaitham was doing good too.
you managed to stop crying, and alhaitham helped wiping away your tears with both his fingers and a tissue he got from the cupboard.
just at this moment did the two of you heard the front door opening.
‘wow wow. stealing away my role tonight alhaitham ?’ kaveh asked when he stepped in on the two of you, very close to each other, and alhaitham caressing your hair and comforting you as best as he could.
‘perhaps i will steal it for a longer time.’ alhaitham replied to tease kaveh. and it did work since the two of them started arguing again over everything and anything but it got quite fun to you.
although as much as you and kaveh laughed, alhaitham seemed very serious with his sentence; almost making it sound like a promise.
but you didn’t mind; after all he was the one who comforted you tonight and who made you feel better despite the horrible things you had heard just before.
you could easily get used to such a sweet alhaitham, and if this softness in him was something that made you like him even more; he, had liked you all this time.
and the fact he could be the one to bring up a smile on your face tonight made him feel kinda victorious.
#byizoyas.#alhaitham#alhaitham x you#alhaitham x reader#alhaitham x y/n#alhaitham drabble#alhaitham scenarios#alhaitham fluff#genshin x y/n#genshin x reader#genshin x you#genshin fluff#genshin scenarios#genshin drabbles
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