#plastic cup boyz
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member: tbz hyunjae x oc! reader [read as kim seo han]
synopsis: maybe being the idol’s fuck-buddy wasn’t the best idea after all
genres: non-explicit smut, angst
warnings: cursing. smut. a LOT of dialogue because i wanted it to be as delulu-ly realistic as possible.
w/c: 3.8k
a/n: inspired by: 1, how i interpreted the song AND the choreo 2. one of my delulu nights thinking about which idols are old enough to have their own fuckbuddy and the thought of COUGH having one absolutely destroyed me.
kim seohan didn’t need this. at all. but like a bear trap, she walked right into it without a hint of caution, and now she’s stuck in this mess of a situation.
seohan first met hyunjae in a convenience store one of those nights she spent in myeongdong. it’s a district that isn’t very well-visited now after the pandemic hit.
she had been in the city for a work event and she had chosen the ungodly hour of visiting a CU convenience store for one of those disposable, ice-filled plastic cups and peach tea packets and microwavable hot dogs.
she thanks the cashier as she turns on her heels and peels apart the plastic for the hotdog, carefully laying it inside the kitchenware and pressing on the buttons. she watches lazily as it rotates inside, the ice on the packaging melting off and the bubbles slowly forming on the surface of the skin.
it beeps, and cues her to pull open the door of the microwave.
“you gotta hold it back to get it open. put a little force into it,” the cashier calls from the counter. “it’s an old thing, we’re getting it changed next week.”
“ah,” seohan holds the corner down, and quite nearly pries the door open. it feels like it’s locked - then it busts open so suddenly, it makes her stumble a few steps backwards.
she was alone and enjoying the rain outside, the whir of the refrigerators and light buzzing being the only things she could hear atop the radio playing in the background. so, of course the doorbell going off when someone enters catches her attention.
she had been seasoned enough to recognise an idol when they walked into the same shop she’s in - she works as a hotel communications agent - so when she spots the mask and the hoodie and the slightly-done hair under the cloth and the hesitating reaction of the cashier when he greets the customer, she knew instantly.
it’s not like she really cared. there are hundreds of idols. maybe if it were 2010 and kim taeyeon walked through the front door, seohan wouldn’t hesitate to scramble to her feet and ask the celebrity for an autograph.
but it was 2022. the industry is saturated. seohan probably doesn’t even know the guy.
as he walks around the eating area and towards the rows of displayed hotdogs and udon bowls, seohan can’t bear the urge to look up from her drink, spotting the high arch of his nose.
he turns, naturally looking at her as she does him.
it’s a ‘the boyz’ member.
lee hyunjae sniffles and returns to the shelf, a small, pursed smile on his lips as he awkwardly half-asses the eye-contact.
seohan remains seated, but provides a belated bow that she hopes he can predict she did it.
she watches in the corner of her eye as he picks out the twin pack of hot dogs and a couple of triangular kimbaps. it’s none of her business, but she finds joy in wondering if he’s buying them back for his members or if he’s going to finish them on his own.
those crazy diets they go on.
he walks back to the counter and pays for the items. she can hear the cashier scanning them. she waits for the doorbell to ring, but there isn’t one. plastic crinkling sounds from behind her, and then there’s the door of the microwave closing, followed by the buttons beeping.
she waits quietly, waiting to see if he encounters the same problem, and to her amusement, he struggles to get the door open.
seohan turns, wondering why he hasn’t called for the cashier, then notices he isn’t at the counter. she looks towards the celebrity, and he catches her gaze in the midst of the confusion with the microwave.
“um... you don’t happen to know if this thing is like... locked?”
“oh, it’s not. the door’s just kinda stuck, the cashier told me to put some effort into it just now. i had the same problem,” she holds up her hotdog-on-a-stick.
“ah,” lee hyunjae turns back to the microwave and sets down the plastic bag of kimbaps. he presses corner of the microwave with his right hand and pulls with his left and it takes him barely a second for it to bust open.
he didn’t even budge. seohan returns to her drink and snack, listening to the little hisses under his breath as he tries to pick up the hot packaging, then he turns and walks around the table she’s at, pulling out the chair and taking a seat.
“thanks for the tip,” he quietly says.
seohan’s eyes widen, instantly sitting up and looking around. “are you crazy? dispatch is probably on your tail right now! the cashier could take a picture and publish it!”
“relax,” lee hyunjae smiles heartily, biting into his hotdog. “dispatch doesn’t like myeongdong. besides, i have a concert tomorrow near coex, they wouldn’t think i’m here.”
“you’re not exactly un-popular. anybody walking by could recognise you.”
“and yet, we’re the only two here,” he swallows and leans the back of his forearms on the edge of the table. “what are you doing in the middle of myeongdong at 3am?”
“i work nearby.”
“what do you work as? i’d assume it’s something that keeps you busy since you’re out and about in the middle of the night.”
“hotel communications agent. keeps me moving too much to ever settle,” she tilts her head and takes the last bite of her snack. “are you staying in a hotel? strange that you came out all the way here just for a snack.”
“i have a friend who lives nearby. let me bunk in because i was missing convenience store food and the ones around the coex area would be buzzing with fans and reporters.”
“sounds tough,” seohan pulls the drink towards herself.
“yeah, well... you get used to it.”
he chews, his squarish, polished jaw flexing and moving with every clench. the eyebags below his pupils make her sad, and the thought of him having to hide away from the public for privacy makes her sympathetic. but she knows better than to share her thoughts, so she snaps herself out of it and lets herself relish in the moment that she’s having supper with one of korea’s pretty faces.
“hey, i’m gonna go first,” he doesn’t even finish his hotdog before standing. “before the cashier comes out and turns into one of those reporters you were talking about.”
seohan nods.
“what’s your name?” he leans down, tilting his head so his ear is towards her. she can smell the cologne and all the things he’s using in his hair.
“kim seohan.”
he stands, processing the name. “i’d shake your hand and introduce myself but my hands are full.”
the cashier pulls the door of the storeroom open.
“it was nice chatting with you. goodnight.”
he doesn’t wait for a response before turning on his heels and leaving.
the interaction leaves a strange taste in seohan’s mouth. it was... calmingly exhilarating.
she had expected more, but what more can she expect?
certainly not lee hyunjae waiting for her opposite the road when she exits the convenience store.
she pauses right outside the door, squinting at the grey hoodie standing by the lamp post opposite the small road. the bag of triangular kimbaps was still dangling from his fingers and his phone’s screen lighting up his face.
he makes a few taps, then looks up at her.
there’s a soft ding when she feels her phone ring, and she looks at the air-drop notification that provided a picture of an address.
seohan scoffs lightly, locking her phone. “are you asking me to sleep with you?” she says, just loud enough for him to hear. the road is desolate, so she can’t really care less.
he laughs from the other side of the road and visibly shrugs. “just thought to invite you in for a chat. and also... thanking you for not exposing my whereabouts. you don’t know how many people use that to their advantage.”
the sadness in his voice is difficult to ignore, and it crushes her heart to remember all over again how being a celebrity means sacrificing their privacy.
“you’re lucky i’m not a crazy fan,” seohan unlocks her phone screen and inputs the address. she turns in the direction it tells her to. hyunjae mirrors her.
“i guess i’ll find out eventually.”
lee hyunjae only gets within a 5-metre radius of seohan when she reaches the building’s entrance. it was an apartment complex, and the guard seemed way too occupied with the football game going on on his phone to even notice them. the lift arrives, and hyunjae doesn’t say a word as he holds the door open for her.
the apartment was simple - couch, rug, television, two bedrooms, kitchen.
“look, i don’t want you getting the wrong idea about this,” he quickly provides a disclaimer as he sets the food on the dining table. “i just... it was a nice chat and i was worried i’d regret it if i just let it go.”
seohan chuckles, laying her bag on the floor by the door. “hey, if you end up being a jerk, i can just report you to dispatch. not my life i’m ruining if you fuck up.”
hyunjae laughs, and he finally pushes the hood off his head. “um, what time’s your schedule tomorrow? can you afford to stay over? there’s an extra bed if you need it.”
“it’s an afternoon conference. i can handle eight hours of sleep.”
“that’s a luxury,” hyunjae walks into the kitchen and pulls out a bottle of soju.
“so i’ve heard.”
“come, come. sit,” he gestures to the couch and points to the bottle. “want any? no obligation, though.”
“what’s a little soju?” seohan shrugs and lays her head on the back of the couch.
hyunjae places the bottle on the coffee table and walks back into the kitchen. “need any mixers? do you prefer something else to drink?”
“i still have that packet of peach tea in my stomach from just now, so i think soju is fine.”
there’s a silence as she hears a fridge opening and closing. some glasses clinking. he returns to the living room with two shot glasses and nothing else.
he sucks in a deep breath, sitting next to her with a safe distance between them. laying the shot glasses on the table, he turns to her, tired eyes wide and cautious.
“i’ve got absolutely no clue why i trust you so much but there’s just something about the way your first reaction at the store was worrying about people finding out where i am that... made me comfortable around you.”
seohan reels back a little, a small smile creeping on her lips. then, she leans over to the table and takes the bottle, cracking the cap off and filling up the shot glasses.
“well, cheers to you finding basic human decency then,” she hands a glass to him and clinks hers against his.
seohan’s mother would definitely not approve of her walking into a stranger’s house and engaging in alcohol with him, much less a celebrity. in fact, it is a pretty stupid thing to do.
he could do anything he wanted, simply because he can physically overpower her. and then he’d have the money to put her on a gag order, and even if that didn’t work, his fans would take it upon themselves to walk all over her if she ever brought this to the general public.
seohan thanks the soju for making these problems a fleeting thought.
but it was late, and half the bottle of soju was gone by the time hyunjae had finished talking about how much he missed home and his family and his dog.
“i’m surprised you don’t have a secret girlfriend hidden somewhere.”
“a girlfriend?” hyunjae lets out a harsh ‘HA!’ and refills his glass. “i don’t have the time for family, much less a girlfriend.”
a pause. “i could say the same for you. not a celebrity but a schedule packed enough to keep you busy, it seems.”
seohan shrugs. “i can’t commit to anything more than my work,” she takes a second to piece together her curiosity. “this is so uncalled for and i hope you don’t mind me asking but surely you would’ve slept with like... fans or friends or people you meet along the way? how are you so stressed and packed and have no time to be a normal human being? especially staying with 10 other men.”
he takes the shot, frown as a sign the soju was stinging. “contrary to popular belief, no, i have not. even if i did want to sleep with someone, i’d have to think about the backlash my group and i are gonna get if i ever got found out, and not to mention that it’s pretty shitty for someone as uncommitted as me to do something with someone that’s generally seen as commitment.”
“i feel like that’s the most emotionally intelligent thing i’ve heard an idol say.”
“there’s too much on the line to be emotionally stupid.”
it’s 5am. 80% of the bottle is gone. seohan can feel her chest heating, and she’s slouched on the couch in an uncouth manner. lee hyunjae was sitting by her feet, hair messed from how much he had been running his fingers over his head and the eyebags definitely weighing on his lids.
“you should get some sleep. you have that performance tomorrow,” seohan yawns and sits up.
“no, no, please, feel free to stay. you don’t have to finish the soju but i don’t want you going home alone at this hour.”
“it’s 5am,” she laughs and tries to stand. “if anything, it’s safer now than it was when i first came.”
the alcohol rushes to her head, and she stumbles backwards, earning a harsh grab on her arm and waist as she gets yanked into sobriety. the logic rushes into her head amidst the alcohol in her bloodstream.
it’s frustrating how pretty he is - that’s why he’s an idol, right? but the years of training has quite literally taught him how to get someone to fall in love with him on first sight, keep himself alluring and tempting and above all that, remain discreet while being a complete flirt.
“this doesn’t feel very emotionally intelligent,” she whispers, eyes flitting to his lips as the thought flits through her mind.
“it’s not, but since it seems like you fear commitment as much as i can’t offer it, then i promise you...” he leans forward and and tilts his head. “i can do this with zero strings attached.”
the offer is a carrot on a stick infront of a horse. bait on a hook at the end of the fishing line. what will she lose even if she says ‘yes’? she gets the fun night with a man physically advantageous to the average one and she doesn’t need to care about his feelings and his time nor hers for him.
fuck it, she thinks.
her arms slide over his shoulders and she fully takes him in, the scent of his worn-out cologne and his hairspray wafting up her nose and into her head like poison gas. his arms are tight around her waist as he lifts her, fingers digging into her sides and her legs automatically wrapping over the curve of his hips.
seohan can’t deny the anxiety and nervousness that’s started to pit in her stomach. the mere thought of lee hyunjae being a celebrity and not simply ‘lee jaehyun’ was beginning to gut her.
i’m about to fuck a celebrity.
the photoframe by the bedside table reminds her that this isn’t even hyunjae’s place - it’s a friend’s. but the realisation is abruptly cut short when his hand reaches out to it, and gently places it face down on the mahogany surface.
“he wouldn’t mind,” he breathes into her hair, nose hovering over the skin on her neck. his fingers comes round to cup her cheek, and his free hand interlocking his hands with hers.
his lips taste like the convenience store and soju. “why, you’ve brought someone here before?”
“no,” he shakes his head and kisses down to her collarbone, right hand travelling from her cheek, to her shoulder and her waist. his thumb slides under the material of her top and pushes it upwards. “he told me i could if i found someone.”
palm hot and heavy, he manages to get it over the curve of her chest as he resumes the messy make-out on her lips, lipstick smearing onto his and moans starting to tumble through his throat and hers.
the push of his hips start to pressure onto hers, her knees on either side of his thighs as he remains careful of his weight above her.
“first time?” he pulls back and yanks his top over his hair, messing it up and exposing all of his torso. seohan can’t stop her eyes from scanning her view upon sight, so she gulps and shakes her head like a timid little mouse.
he smiles - that gorgeous smile that’s worth a few million won - and leans back down to her. “good.”
as hyunjae does that sickening body roll on stage to seohan’s favourite song, she kind of berates herself for understanding why she likes this track so much, but also kind of tries to enjoy herself in the moment. she had received an invitation to their concert via mail just a few weeks ago, and now she was in a corner of the stadium watching the group of 10-plus-one dance for a bunch of screaming fangirls.
she doesn’t really understand why hyunjae even invited her - the day after they slept together, he had taken off almost immediately and she never saw him again.
that is, except on television and until now. how he got her details, she will never find out. but she does want to find out one thing: why is she here?
after the encore had finished, a security guard came by to greet her, telling her that ‘she’s being asked backstage by one of the members’ and this little note made her stomach drop. seohan can’t deny the fantasy playing out in her head, but she chooses to ignore it, consistently reminding herself why he had even chosen to slept with her in the first place.
zero strings attached.
she’s surprised to see the members look at her and greet her like they knew her, and she’s obliged to return the formal greeting as she makes her way into the room where the security guard was walking into.
he stops by the door and knocks on it. followed by an audible ‘come in’, he pushes the door open and gestures seohan into the room.
she bows as an acknowledgement and walks in, watching as the lone member pulls his rings off except that last one on his pinky. there’s a napkin stuck to his forehead, drying the sweat that’s beginning to erode his makeup.
he huffs, turning his body to face her. “you made it.”
seohan parts her lips and stutters. “um... free ticket to a concert. why wouldn’t i?”
a small smile curls in the corner of his lips. “thought you wouldn’t dare.”
“you were the one who had the balls to send me the invite,” she clears her throat, eyes dribbling over the damp shirt sticking to his body. arm veins sticking out over his knuckles and his forearms and his pants hugging his thighs snug and tight. “how did you get my address anyway?”
“you told me where you worked, so i got someone to check the staff records,” he peels the napkin off his forehead and folds it neatly, tossing it into the bin by the dressing table. “you’d be surprised how easily celebrities can get their information.”
“that... doesn’t sound very comforting.”
hyunjae remains staring at her, eyes darting between hers like he were trying to read her mind.
“lock the door and come here.”
the command seemed heavy. his voice is low, and his shoulders are sunken by his neck. she obeys, resting her purse by the door. her fingers meet the cool, metallic surface of the door knob and presses the lock in.
the air is still and humid as she walks over to him, where he naturally places his palms on her waist and pulls her before him. in the mirror’s reflection, she watches his nose trace the frame of her jaw and her hair and his hands holding her hips still.
then, out comes an abrupt instruction from him - one that she never expected and she will never ever think he was the type of person to say it.
“take off your pants,” he whispers into her ear.
seohan frowns, feeling the warmth from his palms seep through the material. she meets his eyes in the mirror, and there isn’t a hint of hesitation in his eyes.
“what? we’re literally at-”
“so...” he undoes the belt for her. “be quiet and we won’t be caught.”
“you’re crazy.”
“and you’re letting me undo your pants for you,” he pulls the leather out from the loops and brings it over your head. “need help with staying quiet?”
seohan swallows, watching herself in the mirror.
as the leather sinks under the pressure of her teeth, the dressing table shifts closer and closer to the wall. her knuckles are turning white from gripping it so tight and her knees are starting to shake.
there’s that desperate grip on her hips that she knows will leave a mark, and the careful control of his thrusts to keep the slapping to the minimum. her eyes are beginning to tear - just from the sheer force of him pushing into her.
god, it feels so fucking good, she thinks to herself, eyes rolling back into her head.
he hisses under his breath as his movements turn erratic, then there’s that shiver and a harsh pull out before the hot release lands on her lower back and bottom.
she’s throbbing - both below and in her head. her vision is fuzzy and her eyes are blurred out before she rests her head on the table, arms finally relaxing.
hyunjae groans, sighing and reaching over to the napkins on the dressing table to clean her off. he kneels on the floor, and out from the corner of her half-opened eyes, she watches as he carefully cleans her up.
he kisses where she will be sore tomorrow, then stands and hugs her waist to help her stand.
“the things we could do if i wasn’t a celebrity.”
#hyunjae smut#tbz smut#tbz hyunjae smut#the boyz smut#hyunjae scenarios#hyunjae imagines#hyunjae angst#lee hyunjae smut#lee hyunjae scenarios#hyunjae one shot
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#i have so many more#highest voted gets context#i might do a second poll with more options!#polls#storytime
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Comedian Nate Bargatze Is Cool With Fighting McDonald's Employees | JFL | LOL StandUp!
https://PrankVids.com comedian,nate,bargatze,kevin hart,hartbeat productions,funny,comedy,comedian,plastic cup boyz,actor,stand up,lol,laugh out loud,LOL Network,laugh out loud network,african american,Nate Bargatze,mcdonald’s,mcdonalds,fast food,fight,fast food fight,scuffle,stand up comedy,humor,stand-up comedy,laugh factory,standup,comic,stand-up,comedy club,irresponsible tour,comedy…
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#Actor#african american#bargatze#comedian#comedians#comedy#comedy club#comedy special#comic#comical#fast food#fast food fight#Fight#funny#hartbeat productions#humor#irresponsible tour#Kevin hart#la comedy#laugh factory#Laugh out loud#laugh out loud network#lol#LOL Network#mcdonald&039;s#nate#nate bargatze#plastic cup boyz#scuffle#stand up comedian
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Hợp tuyển hài Plastic Cup Boyz mang đến những câu chốt hạ ở Atlanta trong bộ ba tiết mục hài độc thoại đặc biệt đầy chân thật và sống động.
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Kevin Hart And The Plastic Cup Boyz Tore Up The Stage During The Opening Night Of The ESSENCE Festival of Culture 2022
Kevin Hart And The Plastic Cup Boyz Tore Up The Stage During The Opening Night Of The ESSENCE Festival of Culture 2022
Photo by: Emma McIntyre/E! Entertainment/NBCU Photo Bank
The opening night of the 2022 ESSENCE Festival of Culture was filled with lessons about life, love, and of course – lots of laughter.
Kevin Hart and the Plastic Cup Boyz hit the stage at the Smoothie King Center in New Orleans for the first American stop of the Reality Check Tour’s second leg. Each comedian had his own unique perspective…
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modern eren jaeger dating headcanons
lowercase intended !
college!eren jaeger x gn!reader
warnings: mentions of p*rnhub
- firstly, this man is CONVINCED it was love at first sight (he ALWAYS tells you this too)
- "babe when i met you i just KNEW you were gonna be mine" "no you didnt" "yes i did- hey dont stop holding me 😣"
- you guys met because you were tutoring him. (he was failing history 😔💔)
- after weeks of shy touches and shared giggles he FINALLY brought his grade up and didnt need you anymore
- that didnt mean he didnt want you tho ;)
- asked you out on a date (and by that i mean to a party smh 🙄)
- and the rest is history 😌✨
- hes the kind of guy that flirts with you even though youre together
- "so uh,, you come here often 😏"
- "eren youre in my apartment 😐"
- he tries to invite you everywhere that he goes with his friends
- like,,, EVERYWHERE
- jean and reiner wanna organize a boys night ? hes pulling out his phone getting ready to text you and saying "oh is it okay if y/n comes ? i didnt get to see them much this week i miss them 🥺" like mf this is for The Boyz 😡😤🥶🥵🔥‼️
- youre weirdly close with sasha, shes just really cool
- eren will call you at the most inconvenient times for the stupidest reasons
- one time he called you while you were doing an INTERVIEW for work and you wanna know what he called you for ? to tell you he bought a bunch of silly string to use on jean.
- bitch im trying to get PAID. rn . trying to make a LIVING. so i dont end up below the POVERTY LINE. tell me about ur silly string after i secure the bag 🙄‼️
- is very touchy. like very touchy.
- but also respects bounderies
- hes NEVER mad when you have something to say about him or your relationship together
- you dont feel comfortable with the pda ?? He Wont do it Again
- you think you two could work on communicating better with each other ?? hes already googling ways to do that
- he cares and cherishes you and the bond you two have created together, hes not gonna try and ruin that
- is a fucking lightweight. dont go with him to parties.
- but if you asked him to hold his drink he will NOT forget about it.
- a couple times he broke the plastic cup he was gripping it so hard 🤩
- is also the type of guy to just protect others ?? like for no reason
- he sees a guy trying to get close to a girl who had made it abundantly clear that she didnt want that ?? hes going over there and playing bf to protect that stranger
- he can thank first year drama class for his superb acting skills 😌✨
- will literally help anyone he sees in a bind
- also his brother is weirdly cool ??
- his parents live far away but his brother only lives like,, 40 minutes away from the university
- hes like an older brother to everyone 🤩
- if you like reading classic literature zeke is your guy to talk to. has so many ideas and opinions on those stories and stuff, and will NOT hesitate to lend you a book of his
- eren has led lights in his room. he ALWAYS has them on the colour red
- he doesnt understand why ppl think hes horny bc of the red lights ?? his eyes just adjust better to the red lights compared to the blue 😔
- he has stretch marks all over his body 🤩 like on his biceps, tummy, back, thighs, etc. etc. doesnt really think about them anymore but he used to be SO self conscious of them in highschool. he saw berty (bertholdt) with his shirt off once during his freshman year and saw how he had stretch marks too, and immediately thought they were cool
- he likes to play with your hair and scratch your scalp, but he likes it when you braid his hair because he thinks it makes him look pretty
- will get you weird things because they remind him of you
- one time he came to pick you up for your date and before you could even KISS HIM hes pushing you away and pulling out a tiny ceramic frog 😐
- "no you dont understand zeke took me to a thrift store today and i found this and it reminded me of you-" "i look like a frog to you ? is that what youre saying ?" "NO ! its just so cute, and youre so cute so i had to get it. do you like it 😊"
- doesnt like most meats, his only exceptions are chicken,
- thats it 😐
- you guys were having a picnic and you made sandwichs (with the sliced turkey meat) and he took one bite out of it, looked you in your face, and spit it back into the baggy without breaking eye contact
- likes just laying in bed with you. has a playlist of songs like arctic monkeys and shit like that, just sitting in the dark with a song on low volume, whispering whatever he wants into your ear is like,, the DEFINITION of love in his book
- also can and will recite lines from shakespeare plays to you ?? will be at the most randomest times. you could be sweeping and he'd just wrap his arms around you before whispering "two households, both alike in dignity. in fair verona where we lay our scene. from ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean."
- okay mf this isnt english class 😐‼️ but thank you 😁👍
- will always try and do new tiktok trends and make funny videos so he can "blow up"
- he gets on average like 20 views 🤩
- he likes seeing you and his friends get along, it just makes him so happy that you love mikasa and armin just as much as he does, and hes so thankful that youre all friends
- likes to help you reach whatever you cant, and if youre taller (even by an inch) hes making you grab things for him
- he doesnt have a major yet, and he doesnt really know what he wants to do with his life, but being a hairstylist sounds cool
- whenever youre having a bad day mentally, he'll just give you your space unless you say otherwise
- he doesnt know if its the best idea, but he knows when he gets into a bad headspace he wants to be alone
- if you do say you want him with you, he'll lie right beside you in bed and spoon you, and if you want he'll put on the arctic monkeys playlist and whisper about the project he worked on for his business class
- he doesnt like sharing, BUT will steal your shit all the time 🙄
- "oh hey heres that thing i borrowed from you" "oh my fucking god eren i thought i lost that months ago"
- may not understand everything he learns in class, but he always tries bc this is his education !! his parents saved up a lot of money for him to be able to go to university !! hes gonna try his best to make the most of this
- i feel like he would play baseball at university. he asks that u wear his jersey to every game so "everyone knows that the most beautiful person attending this educational establishment is MINE" like,, k ill wear the jersey 🙄🤚
- has a list of the best websites to use to illegally stream movies, anime etc.
NSFW ! -------
- also hates pornhub. knows about all the controversies and shit about the website and doesnt use it. supports smaller porn companies that respect their workers 😁👍
- his parents love you. Im Serious
- carla asks about you all the time (hey mommy 😏) and his dad wonders about you too even though hes more lowkey about it
- always has to open the door for you or pull out your chair for you. no matter what setting youre in he Has to do it bc hes a gentleman
- bohemian rhapsody is his comfort film
- i think eren thinks that Youre the One for him, and this idea is solidified when you two graduate together 😍
- he takes you back to the library where he first met you, gives you a promise ring and just asks you to move in with him, hes not ready for an engagement and he knows you arent either, but he knows that youre it for him, and he just wants to be with you for as long as youll allow it
GAH this felt all over the place and very mediocre but i hope you enjoyed !!! remember asks are open so feel free to request something 🤩
#attack on titan#attack on titan headcanons#attack on titan fanfiction#attack on titan x reader#eren yeager#eren yeager x reader#eren jaeger#eren jaeger x reader#armin arlert#mikasa ackerman#sasha braus#levi ackerman#eren yeager headcanons#eren jaeger headcanons
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he’s a good boy
• pairing: son youngjae (the boyz) x reader
• word count: 2,438 words
• genre: bad boy!au, fluff
• warnings: slight assault, mentions of fighting, mentions of alcohol and drinking
• notes: everyone loves bad boy eric! i hope you like it💙
• requested: yes | no @vernonvsblog
Growing up, your mother had always warned you of the dangers of walking around late at night. You had always listened to her and would take the proper precautions whenever you might end up being out later than you realized. As you got older, the precautions slowly dissipated, and you became a little less weary of the things that your mother had warned you about. When your sister started to get to the age where she would start hanging out with friends, your mother sat her (and you) down to talk to her about those same dangers.
Your sister, unlike yourself, followed those precautions religiously. You had always told her that the chance of getting jumped, even in the nice part of town where you lived was insanely unlikely. You had even told her to loosen up. You were never scared of the people in your neighborhood. Even the seemingly harmless, yet troublesome boy in your grade that never seemed to get to his house in anything other than a cop car, seemed pretty safe. Of course this was all presumptive as you had never even spoken two words to him.
His name was Eric. He was a year older than you in age, but happened to be in the same grade as you. Eric had blonde hair and big brown eyes that always held some type of mischief in them. Every time you saw him, he always had a cocky smirk and a raised eyebrow gracing his face. He wasn’t insanely tall, more on the average side, but he was definitely well built. Not that you had been checking him out or anything. You just happened to catch him attempting to do the yard work during the hot summers, shirtless. No big deal, though. You two weren’t friends, but subtle looks had always been exchanged almost as if that was your conversation with him. Which was probably how you ended up in the situation you were in tonight.
You had finally convinced your sister to go out with you. It, of course, was a late night party being thrown by some of your friends. Why would you pass that up? You managed to get your sister to wear something nice as you dragged her out of the house.
“But mom said,” She told you.
“Mom said to be careful and that’s exactly what we are going to do.” You told her with a roll of your eyes as you both continued your trek to the location of the party.
As you arrived, your sister continued to complain as you spoke.
“Look, I’m going to get a drink. Find one of your friends. Try to have fun. I’ll find you when it’s time to go.” You told her as she sighed but nodded.
You pushed through the sweaty bodies of people you knew but didn’t necessarily like as you got to the kitchen. You noticed many alcoholic drinks laid out on the island as you reached for one and poured it into a plastic cup. As you took a sip, you noticed a familiar face across the room. Eric.
Did he know anybody at this party? You don’t remember ever seeing him with the people you hung out with or with anyone at your school for that matter. Eric always seemed like a lone wolf. As if he could feel your stare, he turned his head to meet your gaze, giving you the same annoying, cocky grin. You averted your eyes to the cup in your hand, that you no longer felt compelled to get into your system before looking back up. He was gone.
“Hey,” You heard from beside you, making you jump.
You held a hand over your chest as you looked at the blonde troublemaker that had just scared the wits out of you.
“Hi.” You said back with no enthusiasm at all.
Eric chuckled. “Any reason you were staring at me earlier?”
Your face suddenly felt extremely warm as you looked back at your not even half empty cup. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”
He took a step towards you. “I think you do.”
You shook your head. “No, Eric. I don’t.”
His face softened at the sound of his name coming out of your mouth and he nodded.
“You know my name?” He asked softly.
Not being used to such a soft spoken Eric, you just stared at him.
“Uh, yeah. Well, everyone knows who you are.” You told him.
Eric frowned before nodding as he mumbled to himself. “Of course they do.”
You two sat in silence before Eric spoke. “Can you give me an hour to show you I’m not as bad as people think I am?”
You raised a brow at him. “Eric, you’ve been arrested numerous times and get into fights almost every day.”
He nodded. “If only you knew why I was getting into those fights.”
“Why are you?” You asked him.
Eric shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. Enjoy your night.”
You stayed where you were, frowning at how quickly he opened up to you then closed his doors. You watched his figure walk to the front door before disappearing into the blackness of the night. Shaking your head, you sighed.
“I need something stronger.” You said to yourself.
You stayed perched in the kitchen for close to two hours, slowly sipping on the new drink you had made. After your encounter with Eric, you didn’t want to really interact with anyone. You finished off your drink before deciding to call it a night. You fished through the crowd in search of your sister before finding her.
“Come on,” You told her, grabbing her wrist.
She resisted. “I’m having fun.”
You rolled your eyes. “I don’t care. Either you go home with me or you’re stuck here. I doubt anyone is going to take you home.”
This made your sister grumble like a little kid as she huffed. You pulled her out of the house as the two of you headed home. You hadn’t realized how late it was as you made the turn onto your street. Your sister had slipped her wrist from your grip as you both kept walking before someone stopped in front of you two.
You and your sister stopped as you looked at the guy. He had on a black hoodie, the hood up over his head, shielding the upper half of his body as he spoke.
“Little late for you two to be out here alone isn’t it?” He said with a rough tone.
You took a step back, pulling your sister behind you as you spoke.
“We’re just trying to get home.” You said.
He nodded. “I can take you home.”
He started walking towards you as you pushed your sister back. He got a hold of your wrist, pulling on you.
“Come on.” He said, pulling you away from your sister as you both started to yell.
His grip on your wrist grew tighter as he continued to pull on you before his grip was gone. You fell backwards as someone was now on top of the guy. Your sister grabbed your hand, pulling you up as you both ran the rest of the way to your house. As soon as you got to the door, you unlocked it, pulling your sister in before closing it and locking it with the deadbolt. You sighed heavily as you pulled your sister in for a hug. She pulled back as she spoke.
“Are you okay?” She asked.
You weren’t, but you couldn’t tell her that. “Yeah. I’ll be fine. You just go shower and go to bed. I’ll wait for mom.”
She hesitated slightly before nodding and heading up stairs. When you heard the bathroom door close, you collapsed. You had never had that happen to you before. Maybe your mother was right. You pulled off your shoes before hearing a knock at your door. Your eyes widened before someone spoke.
“It’s Eric.” The voice said.
Reaching for the doorknob, you pulled yourself up. Opening the door, you gasped. Eric stood before you with a busted up face. A black eye that was swelling, a lot. A busted lip and nose with a bruised cheek. He noticed you taking in all his facial injuries as he spoke.
“He looks worse.” Eric told you.
You shook your head as you grabbed his hand, pulling him inside. You took a quick look around outside before shutting the door and repeating the same actions as before. Looking at Eric, you pulled the boy to the kitchen, as you grabbed a bag of ice. You handed it to him before retracting your hand and opting to do it for him. Pressing the bag of ice to his swollen cheek and eye, he hissed at the cold before looking at you.
“Ouch,” He grumbled.
You bit back your smile as you got a chance to get a closer look at the boy. His eyes were a darker brown than you imagined, almost making them look black. His blonde hair looked different under the fluorescent lights, you just couldn’t put your finger on why it was so different.
“You’re staring again.” He told you.
You casted your eyes to the ground before feeling him move. You winced as he grasped your wrist.
He gingerly lifted it to examine it. Grabbing the ice pack from your other hand, he pulled it from his face and brought it to your wrist. You watched him carefully care for your tender wrist as you smiled.
Eric noticed you watching him as he spoke. “Still staring.”
“I’ve never seen you be this caring before.” You said softly.
Eric let out a breathy laugh as he looked up at you. “People never let me show this side.”
You continued to watch him, staying silent to urge him to continue.
“Your comment at the party made me realize that people know me, but they don’t know me. Yeah I get in trouble all the time. I do illegal stuff, but I’m not an insanely awful person. I have a heart. I have feelings. I know how to care for people.” Eric said, bringing his attention back to your wrist.
You felt bad. You had fallen in line with the multitude of people who judged him just from what they saw.
“You said at the party that you had a reason for constantly getting into fights,” You said, making the boy nod. “What was the reason?”
Eric stopped inspecting your wrist as he kept his head down. “You.”
You felt your breath hitch. “W-what?”
He dropped your wrist, allowing it to fall to your side as he set the ice pack down on the counter. “You have rarely taken notice of me, but I’ve noticed you. I’ve had my eye on you since the day my family moved in next door. We have the same classes, take the same route to school, and go to the same cafe for lunch. You always order grilled cheese with hot chocolate, even when it’s blistering hot out.”
You felt the heat rise to your face again as he continued to talk.
“You complain about your physics teacher every single day because that’s the only class that you can’t get a perfect score in, and you’re convinced that he has it out for you.” Eric said, making you interrupt him.
“He does have it out for me. I always make perfect scores on the tests AND the homework and I still don’t have a perfect score.” You said, making Eric laugh.
The sound of his laugh made you smile.
“You see, that’s what I’m talking about. I’ve noticed you. I feel like I know you, and this is the longest conversation we’ve had with each other since I moved in next door all those years ago.” He said.
You felt yourself think about all the things Eric said. “I still don’t understand what that has to do with you fighting over me.”
He nodded. “The douchebags that you dated like to talk about how you were in bed and just so many other awful things.”
His comment made you scoff. It makes sense though. After a string of breakups that you had suffered, people would give you these dirty looks, the girls mostly. While the guys looked at you like they were stripping you. Now you knew why.
“What assholes.” You said.
You then looked at Eric before shoving him. He went back into the counter he was leaning on as he looked at you.
“Why the hell was that for?” He asked incredulously.
“You. I never told you to get into fights on my behalf. Now you have a record and an awful reputation.” You scolded.
Eric grinned as you continue to yell at him for getting into fights over you before grabbing your face in his hands and kissing you. Your eyes sat wide open before you brought your hands to his waist, slowly moving them up his chest before stopping. You felt Eric smile into the kiss as he turned his head, deepening it.
“Hey, I used the rest of your-oh my god!” Your sister yelled, making you and Eric jump apart.
“I-uh, oh wow.” She said, and you could feel the heat radiating off of her in embarrassment as she could from you as well.
“Did you need something?” You asked.
She stuttered. “Uh, yeah, um. No. I just, I used the rest of your, uh shampoo.”
You nodded quickly before speaking. “Okay. You can go now.”
She didn’t utter another word as she dashed up the stairs. You put your head in your hands as Eric chuckled.
“It’s not funny, Eric!” You said as he pulled you into him.
“Oh relax. I was definitely holding back anyway. She could’ve caught us doing so much more than that.” Eric said.
You looked up at him and caught the cocky smirk you always seemed to see on his face. You rolled your eyes.
“You’re insane, Eric. But thank you for saving my sister and I.” You told him.
Eric grinned, that same glint of mischief flashing in front of you.
“A date is a customary.” He told you.
He wrapped his arms around your waist as he looked at you. “A date with the town bad boy?”
Eric chuckled. “Who would’ve thought?”
“Actually, you really aren’t that bad. You saved me, and have defended my honor. I’d say you’re pretty good.” You told him.
He frowned. “Yeah, lets just keep that between us.”
You giggled as you kissed him again. “Sure thing, Eric.”
#kwritersworldnet#tbznetwork#deobiwritersnet#the boyz#tbz#the boyz scenarios#the boyz imagines#tbz scenarios#tbz imagines#the boyz eric#tbz eric#eric sohn#son youngjae
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EMPATH [0]: Prologue
EMPATH Chapter Navi
୫ Pairing: Empath! [fem] reader! x ex! Jake Sim x best friend! Park Sunghoon
୫ Genre: Slice of Life | Ex2F | F2L | Comedy | Angst | Suggestive Material | Supernatural
୫ Taglist: @ac-ewow @i2gyus @sseastar-main @imtrashingeneral-helpme @miingxuxi [please use this link to submit your user to stay on this taglist!]
୫ Tagged through general taglist: @changminurheart @en-boyz @allorysayshi @from-xero @wooyoung-a @changmin-wrlds @nashionalpotatocorner [please use this link to submit your user to stay on this taglist! your user will be removed if your user is not submitted]
୫ Synopsis: A strict household. A single, closed-off workaholic for a grandparent and guardian. You had curated the perfect habit of keeping to yourself, cementing an unbreakable wall between you and the rest of the world. However, you’ve been bestowed with a gift - the gift to feel other people’s emotions.
୫ Series Warnings: Mentions of panic attacks, suggestive material, swearing
୫ Word Count: 825 words
Is this retribution? A pay-off? A curse?
"y/n."
The swell starts to infect your lungs, rotting through every nerve when your breathing shallows. Your eyes are cemented onto Chowon, whose hands are over her chest and struggling to breathe.
You were lying on Jake's lap, and he had been stroking your hair and pulling them out of your face when an unfamiliar anxiousness started brewing in your gut.
It made you feel like puking, so you sat up abruptly, startling Jake, but he wipes his face clean of the surprise when he tries to snake his arm over your shoulders.
But with every breath you took, it got shallower, harsher - it felt like your lungs are caving in on yourself.
The only problem was that you knew you did not have this problem.
"Hey," Finally, a frown creases his forehead. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"
Elsa was still singing her lungs out on the wall you were sitting opposite, most of your friends in the room still engaged with the film. Some plastic crinkles when someone picks up the bag of chips, and it's not the crinkling that sets you off, it's the overwhelming feeling of pure sensory overload that guts you.
Confusion starts to break your hearing apart, every word that Jake was whispering or mumbling into your ear suddenly blocked out when the anxiety swells even more. By now, your eyes are frantic, darting across the length of the room in the dark.
By now, you were panting, hands reaching up to your chest in an attempt to regulate your breathing but then you realise - you were still thinking.
This is not me. These aren't my feelings. It's-
Like a puppet, the nerves in your body somehow pull you off the ground and Jake's eyes glimmer in the dark when you make the huge shift. He gets up, fingers wrapping around your hand. His lips are apart, saying something to you, but you're slightly dizzy, slightly nauseous, and still searching the room for the source.
Then you see it.
Chowon, sitting in the corner of her bed, of her room, panting to herself.
Your lips part and your hand fumbles behind you to find Jake's wrist, your shoulder now backed up into his chest with your laboured breathing. "Chowon- she's-"
It takes him a second to process the sight before him, somewhat surprised that you had been able to pick her out from the crowd but also slightly concerned that his classmate was having a panic attack.
"Oh, no," He breathes, warm breath hitting your neck as he drops his hand to your waist and walks around you. "I'll go check on her, okay?"
But you know instantly Jake's approach wasn't going to make anything better, for Chowon shrinks further into the corner when she notices him. Your heart rate spikes and for a split second, your vision goes white.
Suddenly, she's crying, pushing through everybody else to leave the room and kicking over some cups and chip bags in the process. She glances at you as she makes her way out, and the sheer panic flashes across her eyes.
You reach out and try to hold her back, wishing nothing but to ask after her, and yet you're greeted by a sudden surge of unreasonable pain and ache.
"Is she okay?"
"I'll go get her."
Jake tells someone to stop the film, and someone else turns on the room lights with another rushing out of the door to go after her. Yet he finds you, paralysed and rooted to the ground, absolutely frozen.
"y/n."
One look at you in your eyes and Jake knows something is wrong. He’s not used to the layer of tears in your eyes, or your shaking hands and your darting pupils.
"Hey, hey, hey," Pulling you into his chest, he holds the back of your head with his palms flat into your hair. You can hear his heart, which does provide you with some calm and clarity, but Chowon's anxiety was swimming about in your blood.
The quiet shushes he kisses into the crown of your head brings you to tears - a horrible combination of your heart running the fate of someone else's but your thoughts were forming a conclusion you never knew was even possible.
Empathy, felt physically.
But...
You pull away, gulping the dryness in your throat that the anxiety's forced you into. He finds your cheek and presses a gentle kiss into your forehead, knowing that he was nothing but genuine for you.
Why doesn't Jake's peace calm me down?
"You alright? You must've been surprised," He mumbles under his breath, just loud enough for you to hear. Lowering your head, you press your cheek into his chest again, this time, intentionally listening, thinking, feeling.
Nothing.
Then you shut your eyes and let the realisation eat you up from the inside.
You can't read Jake's feelings.
just in case you’ve missed it on top, here’s the link to submit your user to get on the taglist!
#enhypenwriters#enhypennetwork#enhypen scenarios#enhypen imagines#jake scenarios#jake imagines#sim jae yun scenarios#sim jae yun imagines#jake angst#jake fluff#enhypen jake scenarios#enhypen jake imagines#jake x reader#timextoxhajima empath#enhypen sunghoon scenarios#sunghoon scenarios#sunghoon imagines
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Sunday, January 09, 2022 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)
WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?:
CALL ME KAT (CTV) 8:00pm
PIVOTING (CTV) 8:30pm
HOME TOWN (HGTV Canada) 9:00pm
EUPHORIA (HBO Canada) 9:00pm
THE RIGHTEOUS GEMSTONES (HBO Canada) 10:00pm
SMILING FRIENDS (adult swim) 12:00am
WHAT IS NOT PREMIERING IN CANADA TONIGHT
ALL CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL (Season 3) (PBS Feed)
NORTH TO HOME (Premiering on January 14 on W Network at 8:00pm)
TRAPPED BY MY SUGAR DADDY (TBD - Lifetime Canada)
LOVE'S SECOND CHANCE (TBD)
NEW TO AMAZON PRIME CANADA/CBC GEM/CRAVE TV/DISNEY + STAR/NETFLIX CANADA:
CRAVE TV
EUPHORIA (Season 2, Episode 1)
THE RIGHTEOUS GEMSTONE (Season 2, Episodes 1-2)
JFL GALA 2021: RITA BAGA AND JEAN-THOMAS JOBIN PART 2
CURLING
(SN) 1:00pm: Alberta Provincial Championship: Women's Final
(SN) 6:30pm: Alberta Provincial Championship: Men's Final
NFL FOOTBALL
(TSN/TSN3/TSN4) 1:00pm: Bears vs. Vikings
(TSN/TSN3) 4:00pm: Jets vs. Bills
(TSN/TSN3/TSN4/TSN5) 8:15pm: Chargers vs. Raiders
NHL HOCKEY
(SN1) 2:00pm: Stars vs. Blues
(SN1) 3:00pm: Ducks vs. Avalanche
(TSN3) 4:00pm: Jets vs. Knights
(SN) 7:00pm: Flames vs. Chicago
NBA BASKETBALL
(TSN4/TSN5) 6:00pm: Pelicans vs. Raptors
(SN Now) 7:30pm: Bulls vs. Mavericks
(SN1) 8:30pm: Cavaliers vs. Warriors
(TSN4/TSN5) 9:30pm: Grizzlies vs. Lakers
ALL CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL (CBC) 7:00pm: Skeldale House descends into chaos with the arrival of Siegfried's wayward brother Tristan; Mrs. Pumphrey throws a party.
THE CHASE (City TV) 8:00pm (SEASON PREMIERE): James Holzhauer returns as the chaser as three new contestants face off against him.
THE GREAT BRITISH SEWING BEE (Makeful) 8:00pm: Three finalists start working on a boy's kilt, then they transform party dresses and finally they construct glamorous gowns as they compete for the title of Britain's best amateur sewer.
PRETTY CHEATERS, DEADLY LIES (Lifetime Canada) 8:00pm: After being tricked into a compromising situation by her cousin Madison, Hanna thinks she can stop her cousin's blackmail scheme by taking her college entrance exam for her.
KEVIN HART'S MUSCLE CAR CREW (Discovery Velocity) 8:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE): Kevin Hart and his Plastic Cup Boyz want to make their passion for cars legit, but they need a serious education about cars and car culture; they search for an builder and hire Lucky Costa; The Club decides to spend 20K on upgrading their cars.
THE CURSE OF OAK ISLAND: DRILLING DOWN (History Canada) 8:00pm: Matty Blake "Drills Down" with the Laginas and the Fellowship of the Dig on how they strive to preserve Oak Island while working to unravel its centuries old treasure mystery.
MACGRUBER (Showcase) 9:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE): After serving eleven years in prison for the murder of his former nemesis, MacGruber is recruited by General Fasoose for one last suicide mission.
BEYOND OAK ISLAND (History Canada) 9:00pm (SEASON PREMIERE): Rick and Marty Lagina, along with Matty Blake, head to Florida and join Gary Drayton to hunt for millions in gold, silver and jewels from the shipwrecks of the famed 1715 Spanish treasure fleet.
OUTBACK OPAL HUNTERS (Discovery Canada) 9:00pm: The Rookies finally hit treasure; Aaron and Greg bring in an old monster about to self-destruct; the Cooke brothers race to beat the worst drought in a decade.
A.P. BIO (Showcase) 9:45pm (SEASON PREMIERE): A tornado puts the school on lockdown and Helen believes it's coming specifically for her; the kids pass the time by writing fan fiction, "shipping" various combinations of faculty members; Mary, Stef and Michelle devise a plan to escape the school.
CLAWS (CTV Drama) 10:00pm (SEASON PREMIERE): With the casino gone, Desna is prepared to return to her roots as a money-laundering nail mogul, which proves to be more difficult than expected, propelling her and the crew further into a world of criminality.
THE CURSE OF OAK ISLAND (History Canada) 10:00pm: While evidence of an ancient Portuguese presence piles up, a mysterious artifact discovered deep in the swamp may reveal that the theory Fred Nolan proposed half a century ago may be correct.
ALEX VS AMERICA (Food Network Canada) 10:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE): Host Eric welcomes three talented shellfish experts from Louisiana, Maine and Hawaii to challenge chef Alex Guarnaschelli in two intense rounds of cooking; first, the chefs seal their fate by choosing the ingredients they and Alex will cook with.
CODE 404 (Showcase) 10:50pm (SEASON PREMIERE): When a scientist from Millikan Biotech goes missing, DI John Major and DI Roy Carver are forced to face their problems head-on and reignite their friendship.
#cdntv#cancon#canadian tv#canadian tv listings#all creatures great and small#the great british sewing bee#the curse of oak island: drilling down#outback opal hunters#the curse of oak island#curling#nfl football#nhl hockey#nba basketball
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Agatha and Da Boyz - urban fantasy AU for the ask box meme, please?
Maxim, experimentally, reached out with his tongue, circled it around a package of cup ramen sitting innocently on the gas station shelf, and drew it, styrofoam and clear plastic wrapping and all, into his mouth.
He bit down. It went, KRERNUNCHffkfCH?
“No!” hissed Agatha. Futilely, she bat at the general area of his shoulders with her hands, head swiveling around to look for witnesses.
The cashier, a woman with purple-dyed hair and a chain connecting a piercing in her nose with one in her earlobe, was indeed staring right at them, mouth open slightly. As Agatha watched, she blinked with unnatural slowness, her face flickering like she was struggling to get a firm grip on one expression.
Finally her face cleared, and she smiled as genuinely as someone in a service job was likely to. “Oh, ha!” she said. “Munchies, right? Yeah, I’ve been there. Just make sure you bring me the package so I can scan it, alright?”
Agatha turned back to Maxim, who was fully engrossed in chewing consideringly. The package was definitely gone.
“She izn’t gonna see ennyting veird,” Oggie informed her easily. He was staring into the little mirror over a rotating display of sunglasses, trying to get a pair on without the single horn on the side of his head knocking them askew. “Iz de Fadey Ting.” Agatha could hear the capital letters. “Hit keeps pipple from noticink magic schtoff who izn’t all speshul-like.”
“Like hyu!” Dimo supplied, horribly casually.
“Dot’s vhy hyu roommate didn’t scream vhen she saw hyu lock dot big tentacly tingy in hyu’s broom closet,” Oggie continued, cheerfully. One of the stems of the star-shaped sunglasses he was trying to get to sit straight snapped in his hand. He sighed and put them back on the stand. They sagged, languorous.
“She izn’t gonna notice vhen hyu keel it, needer, so dun vorry,” Maxim finished, now done with his snack. “Vill just congratch’late hyu for taking out a rilly big rat, sumtink like dot.” He ran his unreasonable tongue over his jagged teeth, thoughtful. “Nize texture,” he declared. “Hy vants to try de odder liddle flavors.”
Agatha emitted an unhappy tea kettle noise, scooped up a miscellaneous armful of cup ramens (SALE! declared a little sign above them in screaming yellow and red), and swept them over to the poor cashier, who she deposited them in front of. Anything to get them out of here faster.
The cashier, enterprisingly, counted them and then picked one up and scanned it sixteen times. So that solved the issue of Maxim’s 33¢ debt to society.
“$12.22,” she declared after Agatha handed her the things she had actually come in for. Three containers of salt, and a plastic barbecue lighter.
Dimo leaned around Agatha and deposited a gold nugget on the sticky counter. It had a winged chess piece stamped on its side. “Buy hyuself sumting nize with de change, sveethot,” he rumbled, grinning. With, oh, too many teeth.
The cashier picked it up with businesslike efficiency, flashing Dimo a tight smile, then started to deposit the nugget in the register, paused. Her hand drifted to hold it over the tip jar, back. Paused. She stared down at it, looking fuzzy.
She looked back up, dreamy, and then more present as her gaze lit on Maxim. “That’s such a natural looking ombre!” she said, gesturing with her empty hand at Maxim’s hair, which was the same shade as hers. That his skin was also purple did not seem to register. “So subtle, I love it. What brand do you use?”
She looked down at the nugget again. Her brow furrowed with confusion. Her wrist twitched in preparation for resuming its circuit between the register and tip jar.
Agatha leaned forward, twitched the gold out of her hand, plunked it into her shirt pocket, and slapped a twenty down on the counter. Then she grabbed all three of her monsters by various bits of wrist and tattered jacket lapel and pulled them out the automatic door. Maxim, snagging up his bag of instant noodles, came rustling.
“Dot vos fon,” declared Oggie, as they stepped out into the pool of lime-tinted electronic light, refracting in almost steamy just-post-rain air, outside the gas station. He lifted his head and sniffed the bouquet of petrichor and gasoline fumes appreciatively. “Ken ve finish tellink hyu about hyu’s ancient birthright now?”
“Monster first,” declared Agatha, stomping off into the night, salt gripped tightly in her hand.
“Oh, killink,” replied Oggie, pleased.
“She doz have her priorities in order,” said Dimo.
“Did hyu understand vot dot sparkly face gorl was sayink ‘bout mine hair?” asked Maxim. And they trotted along on Agatha’s heels, banter muffled by the misty night.
.
[In deference to the garbage urban fantasy aesthetic, the perception filter is called the Fade. ...Uuuunless Jaegers introduce you to it.
Now on AO3 / follow-up]
#girl genius#w#fic#okay this one i want to add to#to establish that the roommate is zeetha who can't see the supernatural but has a sword and that's ultimately more important#askbox meme#anonymous#asks answered#hyu's de chozen vun sveethot
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Tom and Jerry 2021 Review: It’s Almost Adequate!
Hello you happy people, and welcome to a surprise review! While this was on my schedule, I moved it out to make room for my new Patreon Sponsored review. Yes at the 5 dollar tier you too can get a review a month.. but enough shilling. Point is I had some thoughts on the film, and felt I could squeeze a review of it into the schedule since my review for yesterday, the 90′s Tom and Jerry movie, got canceled as I both had to finish up my tex avery birthday review and hadn’t noticed it wasn’t on HBO Max like I thought. I could’ve sworn it was once but not anymore. Gee it’s almost like they removed their overtly awful Tom and Jerry movie from the service so people woudln’t be reminded of it when they watched the mediocre new one. Or it was never on there because HBO wants to bury that mistake in a hole. You make the call.
Point is I had some room in my schedule, so if I can’t cover the 1990 movie this weekend, though I FULLY intend to still do that at some point as it still fascinates me, might as well cover the one everyone’s actually watching. So join me under the cut with spoilers to go into why this film is .. ehhhh. under the cut
Tom and Jerry follows, as you’d expect, our working boys up to their ass in shit, what is this buisness. In this case Tom literally rides in on a rail with his keyboard wanting to be a big musician one day, while Jerry is shopping around for a home but can’t find any in his bracket. The two end up fighting, as you’d expect, when Tom performs as a blind cat in a park, a great gag, and Jerry first steals his customers by dancing to his music, but then when Tom tries to stop him, not only exposes his scam, but gets Tom’s beloved Keyboard broken.
In the process of Tom trying to get Jerry back for runing his day, Tom ruins the day of Kayla, a cynical young lady played by Chole Grace Moretz who like Robin in the last theatrical film, is a blonde girl who takes up way more screen time than our heroes for some reason. Tom accidently destroys the clothes she was sent to deliver, and she gets fired from her Task Rabbit esque job... despite the fact that TaskRabbit is app based, entirely built around how you do jobs for hire as needed, and that at most she’d get a bad review and that the app dosen’t actually hire people. I know this both because i’ve seen the apps and parodies of it show up on tv shows I watch, most recently Close Enough, and because I took the 2 minutes it took to google it , read some of the Wikipedia article and do the bare minimum that me, a paid only by commissions and patreons reviewer, did to prove a point, and that the writers of this film, who likely got paid at least 10000 for a rewrite, and more for whoever wrote the treatment, which is about 30,000 at lowest as told to me by this article on what screenwriters get paid I looked up solely to prove a point. So they got paid tens of thousands of dollars, probably more than standard... to not spend 5 minutes looking up what task rabbit is, becuase they wanted to give her a “hip” job instead of just having her work for a dry cleaner. Then again they got thousands upon thousands to half ass it and i’m getting paid nothing to go on a rant about how they half assed it, so maybe i’m the dumbass, I dunno, but at least I take pride in my work. And i’ve had trouble spellchecking at times so take that as you will.
But so far the film is not bad: the slapstick is blended really well, the action is pitch perfect and our heroes are given good motivations: Kayla’s to find a job, Tom to play piano professionally and Jerry to find a proper home. You ready for some letdown?!
All three of our heroes converge at the Royal Gate Hotel, a prestigious hotel that’s been host to popes, dignitaries and Drake. Jerry sneaks inside, and soon finds himself at home and making himself home, Tom TRIES to and ends up getting on the wrong side of Butch, the black cat from the shorts played in this film by reggaton performer Nicky Jam. Why they choose him over a comedian or anyone who could actually act, especially since Butch dosen’t have a musical number or anything, is a riddle for the ages. My best guest, as it always is, is that Tim Story owes him a Wookie-Style life debt. Not only that but even more bafflingly Butch’s gang, who to the films credit like him are all his gang of cats from the classic shorts, are played by Kevin Hart’s Improve Troop, The Plastic Cup Boyz. I got a preview for what passing a kidney stone’s going to feel like just typing that name. I thought I had no explanation for this, not even a wookie life debt can explain how Kevin Hart’s posse, because he has one for some reason but at least unlike Adam Sandler he’s helping his smaller named friends get big instead of just promoting guys who really shouldn’t have a career or dragging poor guys like Shaq or Terry Crews into your bullcrap because they like you., can explain how this happened. But I forgot I looked up Tim Story’s filmography when I first found out he was director here, more on him later, and found out he directed both Ride Along films, both think like a man films, and one of Kevin Hart’s specials, so the two presumably are friends or at least have a solid working relationship, and given how successful the first Ride Along was for both men, I doubt Tim would turn down a favor from him and vice versa.
And while I find the Plastic Cup Boyz inclusion in this film bizzare and wish it was fellow comedy troupe and starkid adjacent wonderkinds the Tin Can Bros so I could get Joey Richter voicing an animated cat, they at least try their best, their just not given much to do and I don’t get casting them in these side rolls or not giving the butch role to one of them as Nicky Jam just sucks in the role. And I get Butch isn’t the most solid or complex character, but it still isn’t THAT hard, with the 80 drumloads of great comedians out there, to find SOMEONE better, and it’s weird Kevin Hart himself isn’t in the roll. If it wasn’t a wookie life debt i’m betting Hart was going to play Butch, had to back out due to scheduling conflicts or whatever, and Tim found the first guy he could who’d take almost nothing instead of an actual actor.
Kayla meanwhile somehow takes herself from sympathetic to wholly unlikeable in the span of the scene by maniuplating and terrifying a poor woman into not taking the job, outright STEALING HER RESUME, meaning if she screwed up this might go on the poor woman’s record, and lying her way into the job. And if the woman had been you know a classist dick or something, i’d understand but this is a perfectly nice lady who worked really hard, and who looses out on a job because some little bitch talked her out of it and then stole her identity. This one act really just makes me not care: It’s one thing to do what you gotta to get a job, I myself have never lied on an application but I get new york’s insanely expensive. Even if she presumibly lives in a hole that’s cramped, has roaches or rats, who given this unvierse probably have tiny tv’s that are still way too loud and binge watch way too much Jersey Shore at 2 in the morning, and is probably haunted, probably by Droopy wearing a bedsheet going boo but still, and yes he’s also alive here but he has identical cousins. Not the point. Point is even if she has sympathetic motives.. what she did is not okay and when she get flashes of guilt throughtout hte film it’s never long enough to feel like it’s not her simply feeling bad she didn’t get this herself and not that she STOLE IT FROM ANOTHER PERSON. Again if she’d FAKED her resume, this would’ve been fine, simply set up some websites, and it would’ve worked so why they went with this elaborate setup that takes her into outright crimes is beyond me.
Point is she gets hired by the manager/owner, Mr. Dubrois, played by Rob Delany, but since his name isn’t used enough i’m just going to call him Mustache Manager. Her direct superior whose against her being hired is Terrance, the Gate’s Event Manager played by a way too good for this film Micheal Pena, who sadly is given nothing to work with. Terrance.. is supposed to be the bad guy because he distrusts kayla. And while one of those reasons is stupid, she makes a joke about the goldfish being an aquatics manger and he takes it dead seriously, he’s rightfully supscious she’s not who she says she is, since one of the places on her resume is a place he knows people from. The only way the film manages to make him the bad guy is he is COMICALLY out of touch: he dosen’t get sarcasm, as seen before, dosen’t want people posting jerry to “snapgram or instaface”, and seems to have trouble relating to his guests. What makes this not work is that he’s manger at a ludicrously expensive hotel. As such a good chunk of his events would be for Celebrties, since New York’s a big hub for them, having tons living there and visiting for films, apperances on late night talk shows, SNL and what have you and being a prime spot for events and it’s clear part of his job is talking to the guests as the two the film focuses on, more on that in a minute, know him and have met him before. He also mentions Drake having stayed there... he would NOT have kept this job.
You’d need to do through research on these kinds of celebrates and social media is the easiest way to do that, to get what they like, what they don’t, what they don’t want to talk about, what scandals or gos might be going on to keep paparazzi out. I don’t even know how this business works nor did I google it.. and I didn’t to prove a point.. that even with no real idea how this works.. I still get what you’d probably need to know to make events for rich famous people. I’m not convinced Terrance knows how an internet works. And given writer Kevin Costello wrote the well received and weird film I still want to see Brigbsby Bear, I get the sense a lot of this nonsense was added in rewrites demanded by executives and credit him more for what works in the film. More on that in a moment.
Kayla is hired on because the Royal Gate has it’s biggest event ever, the wedding of Ben, played by Colin Jost, and Preeta, played by Pallavi Sharda. Why is it big? What do they do exactly? Are they trust fund babies? Did Ben invent an app? Did Preeta cure global warming? Did they both help defeat Galactus DEVOURER OF WORLDS?!... I dont’ know. If the film told me at all why their big names, even if it’s just because their famous for being famous which would be fine, why this is bigger than a fucking pope visiting, I missed it and I actually went back to their first scene and the scene where Mustache Manager brings up the wedding in the first place to Kayla, and found nothing. We just know their rich, their getting married, Ben doesn’t listen to Preeta and is insufferable, and that they own two classic Tom and Jerry characters: Ben owns spike whose played by Bobby Canavale who isn’t bad but dosen’t try to sound like spike at all and that annoys me given unlike Tom and Jerry, the former of whom’s signature noises from the cartoon were used archivally and otherwise dosen’t talk and only sings on occasion or does that wonderfully weird “don’t you belivie it” thing., has a distinct voice they could’ve got someone to imitate. The other is Preeya’s cat toodles, that white cat Tom is always trying to bang, who got a neat less anthro redesign.
Toots, Toodles whatever you call her the redesign works, making her more of a cat, and only speaking in meows for some reason, and combinging the two female cats tom’s liked, but while still being just funny animal enough that him wanting some pussy, so to speak, isn’t too creepy.
And this is where the film undergoes a bit of a shift. While the 20 or so minutes are rightfully focused on our boys with a bit of focus on Kayla, from here on out she’s our defacto lead. Given the last film did the same damn thing of making Tom and Jerry not the main leads in their own movie, you can see the problem.
I will say to the film’s credit it is still LEAGUES better in a lot of other ways than the 90′s film in that the plot is actually centered around them: Jerry, when stealing some cheese, and runs afoul of the tempermental Chef Jackie played by Kim Jeong. Though i’m 100% not convinced Ben Chang didn’t just lie on his resume at some place and has now somehow become a michline star canditate. He finds Jerry, and Kayla volunteers to catch him to help her own career and validly points out her doing this discreetly with only the staff knowing about the mouse will keep it from becoming a social media nightmare.
The 90′s film could work without them, replacing them with any animal sidekick for Robin, since nit’s so far removed from Tom and Jerry their really an afterthought. Here the film DOES feel like a tom and jerry plot at it’s core, Jerry’s somewhere he shoudln’t be, Tom wants to chase him either due to personal greivance or his job depending on it, in this case both. The small side cast are all involved, and given decent if thin justifications for being there: Butch is an ally cat and Spike and Tootles are the pets of the happy couple.
And honestly the slapstick portions, the portions that are tom and jerry focused or use the humans well, are BRILLIANT. No really, it’s good stuff once in a while using a bit from the classics but mostly coming up with new gags and the animation is gorgeous. I won’t lie and say it’s always perfect, sometimes the models are a bit off and look unfinished and that’s not forgivable when you delay your film two months, and thus have extra time to work on that. But that’s a few shots here and there versus the majority of hte film where the various animals all blend perfectly. Unlike most Live Action adaptations of an old cartoon, this one actually seemed to have good reason, as they’ve taken the basic roger rabbit tech of decades ago and expanded on it well. Just like that classic you often wonder how the hell they pulled this off, and outside of one egregrous sequence where tom sets up an elaborate trap we spend far too much time on, when they do use CG for any props, you can’t tell. This is best highlighted by what I consdier to be the film’s best sequence and what brings Tom into the plot proper after lurking on the fringes for a good 15 minutes: Tom, miserable in the rain, finds jerry living it up in an empty room, and after some fun shenanigans trying to get in, finally succeds leading to a good 2-3 minute sequence of the two chasing after each other in the room. There are no actors, no one else and the room is empty, but perfectly gimmicked to time with thier movments. Wether they used cg and I couldn’t tell or just simply timed things great, it’s utterly fantastic and shows why this film is live action: while i’td be fine animated they cleary ahd the tech and ideas to do it live and thus did it this way. Naturally Kayla meets Tom again, and after finding out the room was trashed by both him and Jerry gets Mustache Manager to hire him.
But this is the problem: While there are great set pieces like this, or a REALLY damn impressive one later where Terrance gets dragged into a ball of violence while walking Spike for Ben and we see INSIDE IT, with Terrance not moving as fast but that being okay. And I love the movie’s commitment that ALL animals are animated. So it has it’s charms and gets a LOT right.
It’s clear to me from this strong core that the script was messed with, either by director Tim Story or the execs. Some misguided and stupid bits I get even if it was a bad idea: Tom does do the piano at one point, after he thinks he’s gotten rid of Jerry thanks to again an unwieldy overly long bit of CGI that’s a down spot on the usually good just tom and jerry stuff. And he STARTS singing a 40′s jazz song, and I thought “Okay they really got this and are doing something like is you is or is you ain’t my baby this will be fun”. Then T-Pain started using autotune, because of course, and Tom’s shoulder devil started scratching next to him...
By the way Tom’s Shoulder Devil and Angel are played very well by Lil Rel Howrey , aka Rod from Get Out. So good on you man, one bit of non miscasting. There’s one or two cringe inducing moment of trying to be hip here or there though for a film like this it isn’t nearly as bad as you’d expect. Still bad but i’ve seen so much worse at this point i’m not going to bother getting mad or upset over it. I’m used to this kind of thing from kids movies.
But while the film dosen’t really lack Tom and Jerry, it sidelines them way too often> There’s just too many scenes just about Kayla, whose not only not a great character despite Chole trying her absolute hardest god bless her. Her hitting it off with the bartender, her arguing with Terrance whose even more insufferable and her bonding with Preeta and Ben being annoying, we’ll get to him.. WE’LL GET TO HIM. But they aren’t funny or interesting, there’s nothing THERE to really get me interested, nothing new or fresh that we haven’t seen done better before. There’s just nothing, it feels like large parts of blank space. And to illustrate this my Niece, who I watched the film with and really loves Tom and Jerry after I showed it to her... played with other stuff during most of those scenes. And she’s young, her attention span is not great.. but noticably during the actual scenes of slapstick she was glued to the tv, just like she was when I showed her the classic shorts. It’s not just old farts like me who remember tom and jerry from their youth.. it’s the kids your TRYING to appeal to that don’t want this. If you can’t get kids, who in general and speaking from my own personal experience will watch just about anything, to pay attention YOU. HAVE. FAILED.
Okay took a second to compose myself, let’s move on to the rest of the movie. So after T-Pain stabbed music in the throat, we get to the worst section of the film as Kayla brokers peace between the two to get Preeta’s ring back after the three end up in the aformnetioned violence ball with Terrance, who she ducks his claims that she didn’t catch the mouse.. which she did not but for once she’s sympathetic as Terrance is much more likeable either, though gaslighting him and getting him put on leave is a bit extreme. Bafflingly, Kayla gets his job as event cordinator for now, and thus has to broker peace between the two warring factions.. and does so in the strangest way possible: by booking a day for them in new york to hang out and be BUDDIES!. This isn’t bad as the last film as it dosen’t last, but it is just.. surreal seeing the two having a hanging out montage around new york. Like the film just took a really weird turn with this, the montage itself isn’t weird, it’s standard shenanigans minus the fighting but still good stuff. Unlike the 90′s movie instead of singing about being palls or helping a small child, they just get into cartoony shenanigans together. More proof the film could’ve been so much better just with them.
Speaking of proof the film would’ve been better without them , Ben fucks around with a drone for the wedding, after Preeta confided in Kayla the wedding’s getting to be a bit much. So let’s talk about Ben shall we? While Preeta is just nice, friendly and down to earth, Ben... is a dumbass, a jackass and just an ass. His whole schtick is that he keeps escalting the wedding despite her wishing he’d stop, and i’ts just.. not funny. A guy ignoring his partner’s wishes, constnatly doing big gestures in large part to try and win over her dad who RIGHTFULLY hates, and in general just sucks. I do not blame this on Colin Jost: He’s perfectly charming on SNL, and Weekend Update is usually damn fun under him and Micheal Che. But like with Pena and Mortez, he’s given NOTHING to work with, and furthe rmore can’t improvise.. aka the skill most SNL cast and almnus walk away with. So it’s no suprise he instead comes off like an anoying plank of wood you want to see fall down a manhole and never return so Preeta can marry someone else. I dunno the Doorman’s a pretty cool guy, and if he’s taken or something there’s always Droopy. Droopy’s the smoothest motherfucker and we all know. And if HE’S taken there’s mustache man. The point is we have a Dating Game’s worth of elligble bachelors and the film tries to sell a plank of wood who clearly wants to bang Preeta’s dad more than he wants a genuine equal relationship with Preeta.
So that dosen’t help the final act.. which is started with something REALLY weird to round off tom and jerry’s day as Tom catches a ball, interupts a play and get.s. thrown in the pound for it?
I don’t know how tha’ts a crime, I don’t get it either, point is the animal control guy is a creep who shows them off as they pass some angry dogs.. and..
MY BOY. There was an earlier joke with him taking the place of The Joker, and I thought that was it sadly but nope there he is! While, given they don’t really have much to do with each other, it is a tad weird he’s been grafted onto the tom and jerry legacy.. I really don’t care because it means Droopy gets to show up every so often in other stuff like this.. And hopefully the spinoff series coming in the summer. I”ve talked before about how much I love this dog so having him show up here was a HUGE delight and easily the higlihgt of the film and the gag is perfect. WHy is he in prison? I don’t know. But given who we’re dealing with I also assume he just disappeared later and showed up at the Wolf’s place again to get the evidence to clear his name and to help a young brodway hopeful played by Peyton R LIst get to her audition in time. And yes I just imagined another live action film with a classic character.. but admit it you’d rather be watching that one. They also run into butch who tries to force him to eat Jerry or they’ll kill him.
Terence saw the arrest on the tv though, so he bails the two out, pits them against each other, and sets them loose at the wedding. This goes how you’d expect. the two cause chaos and thanks to Weekend UpDumbass there’s pecocks, tigers and elephants, and Jerry naturally spooks the elephants, Spike, who has it in for tom as usual, goes after tom the tiger goes after him and the wedding is destroyed. Preeta breaks up with Ben and leaves, and Kayla is fired.
Less good is that Tom gets thrown out because Terrance backed out on his deal because he’s a fucking asshole. So while Kayla gripes to her sorta loveintrest bartender man, and wishes she could fix things, T and J show up, both realizing it’s their fault and both with a plan to fix things leading to our climax. Kayla goes back to the hotel, and while Terrance tries to boject she rightfully blackmails him. Sadly neither get their commupance and while Mustache Manager puts two and two together, he’s all for ending this PR Nightmare and helping with Kayla’s plan to get ben to stage a wedding in central park that Preeta actually wants while our two actual heroes go to stop her and do some light kidnapping of toodles to get Preeta to stop.
So it ends how you’d expect: Preeta makes a huge mistake, seriously Droopy go to their honemoon I guarantee Ben will wonder off into the ocean because he thought it looked sick bro, Kayla gets her job back and in a move that makes her almost tolerable hires the woman she stole from who Terrance clearly wants to bang, and Tom actually catches Toot’s eye, but then Jerry mucks it up because cockblocking tom has been his job since the 40′s, they fight, Kayla tells them to cut it out, they put an the end thing over it. Roll credits.
As you could tell I had issues with this film and had more the more I thought about it. So it’s not very good.. but I still recommend watching it if you have Max right now. Yes really. While the human parts are pretty awful as you could tell, you can have some fun mocking them, and it’s worth suffering through them for the bits with our boys, as those bits are geneuinely energetic, fun and what you came for. If you like tom and Jerry, you probably won’t like this movie.. but you’ll enjoy those bits. Hopefully if there’s a sequel, and this film was a suprise hit so their probably will be, they’ll learn their lesson from this one and focus less on the humans and more on the hyjinks but overall this is just a medicore waste of some really great technology and slapstick. This is just one huge ball of dispaointment instead of cartoon violence and i’m sorry it ended this way.
If you liked this review, you can follow me on my patreon at patreon.com/popculturebuffet. Even 1 dollar a month helps and my next stretch goal nets a Darkwing Duck episode a month, so if that excites you, please sign up. And if you can’t afford to that’s fine and feel free to stick around anyway. Times are hard and I get that. And I will see you at the next rainbow.
#tom and jerry#tom and jerry 2021#tom and jerry movie#tom and jerry the movie#tom cat#jerry mouse#droopy#toodles#spike#micheal pena#chloe grace moretz#kim jeong#colin jost#hbo max#mgm#warner brothers
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Ways to Fall in Love Series
1. Over tea
Genres: fluff, single dad au
Pairing: Reader & Haknyeon (The Boyz)
Words: 2.1k (00:09)
Note: I’m not sure how I feel about this, so I may rewrite it someday. Also, I imagined Haknyeon a little older in this and I suggest you do the same lol.
•••
Haknyeon nearly ran into the glass door of Dream Daycare in his haste, but he caught himself just in time, hands pressing up against the cool glass and leaving his fingerprints behind. With heavy breaths, he swung the door open and walked inside.
The ice blue walls were much too bright compared to the darkening sky outside, which only added to Haknyeon's guilt. He walked briskly through the halls that were painted with white fluffy clouds against blue, the bright cheeriness they implied almost taunting him. He was damn late.
"I'm so sorry," he panted as he burst through yet another door. Expecting to see you at the sink — washing dishes or some sort of craft project like you always were when he showed up, Haknyeon paused when he saw, in fact, no one at the sink. Oh right. He was late. You probably finished the dishes two hours ago.
When he saw nobody else, he ventured further into the daycare than he usually did when picking Daeyoon up. "Hello…?"
"Halt!" You suddenly popped out from behind a bookshelf, pointing a worn-down foam sword straight at Haknyeon's nose. Instinctively, Haknyeon raised his hands in surrender. Though, when he realized it was you, he quirked an eyebrow. "King Ju, you've been placed under arrest by order of His Royal Highness. Come with me."
Other than the foam sword, you also had what looked like arm guards made from brown paper bags, doodled on with little decorations clearly drawn by children. You lowered the sword and smiled playfully, then waved for him to follow as you turned and walked further into the room. Haknyeon had no idea what was going on, but he was just glad you weren't chewing him out for being as late as he was.
As you led him to the play area, he finally spotted Daeyoon sitting at a tiny table. Atop his head, he wore a crown similar to your arm guards, made with brown paper and drawn all over with colourful markers. A plastic tea set, complete with a teapot, cups filled with what looked like water, and saucers, sat on the table.
"May I present," you said, placing a hand over you heart, "His Royal Highness, Princess Daeyoon of Dreamlandia!"
You placed a hand gently on Haknyeon's shoulder, guiding him to bow with you.
When you both rose, Haknyeon turned to look at you, then his son, then you again. "Prin...cess?"
"Why of course!" You turned to Daeyoon, bending down with your hands on your knees. "Princes are so overrated, right, Princess Daeyoon?" Straightening yourself up, you whispered to Haknyeon, "We read The Paper Bag Princess today."
Daeyoon took a sip of his "tea", nodding. He looked like he was trying to act prim and proper, but the facade wasn't too convincing with his Paw Patrol t-shirt.
You cleared your throat dramatically and spoke again, "Princess Daeyoon, I, your loyal knight, have apprehended and brought forth King Ju for trial."
"Thank you, Sir Sleepalot. Sit down Papa — I mean, King Ju," Daeyoon said. He gestured to the seat across from him, taking another sip of his fake tea.
The chair was much too small for anyone taller than three feet, but Daeyoon looked — or was trying to look — serious. "Buddy, I don't think—"
You raised your foam sword again, fighting against a swarm of giggles, and Haknyeon had to stop himself from putting his hands up a second time. It was already embarrassing in the first place. Daeyoon seemed like he was about to break character and laugh too, but he somehow managed to hold it together.
"Might I remind you, King Ju," you said, a cute smile on your face, "that you are here for questioning under the order of the Princess. Please show some respect." Pointing to the tiny plastic chair, you continued, "Have a seat."
Haknyeon relented, crouching awkwardly to sit down, his knees bent up and squished between him and the table. He laughed a bit. Normally he would have signed Daeyoon out and been on the way home by now, though, it wouldn't hurt to let the boy play a little, especially after being so late. And if you were okay with it — seeing as you were cheerfully playing along, then Haknyeon felt no harm.
With another dramatic clearing of your throat, you mimed pulling out a scroll and unrolling it. "Dreamlandia Royal Court is now in session! Your first question, Your Highness?"
You turned to Daeyoon, who was practically vibrating in anticipation. "First question," he boasted, pointing theatrically at Haknyeon, "Why are you so late Papa? It's—!"
He turned to you, and you quickly glanced in the direction of the kitchen, finding the clock on the microwave. "It's 6:38!" you finished for him.
Ah, there it is. Of course Haknyeon wouldn't get off being late scott free, what was he thinking?
"Papa had things to do at work today, buddy, I'm sorry. Uncle Jaehyun was supposed to pick you up for me, but he ran into some trouble of his own, okay?"
"Uncle Jaehyun?" Daeyoon's eyes lit up at the mention of his favorite (but don't tell Sangyeon) uncle.
"Yeah, he says he feels really bad, so he's gonna take you out for ice cream this weekend. How does that feel, uh, Princess?"
Actually, Jaehyun said McDonald's, but Daeyoon had been eyeing this fancy new ice cream shop recently, and Haknyeon knew it would be the perfect apology bribe.
"Did you hear that Sir Sleepalot?" Daeyoon nearly yelled. Haknyeon had barely noticed that you'd disappeared for a second and reappeared next to him with two mugs in hand, placing one down in front of him. Daeyoon pointed a triumphant thumb to his chest. "Uncle Jaehyun is taking me for ice cream!"
"Oh, you didn't have to—" Haknyeon tried to say, but you cut him off.
"I did hear! Isn't that nice of him? You must like Uncle Jaehyun a whole lot." When Daeyoon went off on a rant about the new shoes ("they light up!") his uncle bought him, you turned to Haknyeon and whispered, "I already had some brewing anyway."
Haknyeon wanted to argue that he'd be leaving soon, but when you sat down at the tiny kids table, he couldn't find the words.
"Heyyyy," Daeyoon suddenly whined, "why does Papa get a special drink?"
"King Ju and I aren't allowed to drink your special princess tea, so we have to drink this gross stuff," you answered simply, pointing at Daeyoon's mini teacup. "Now Princess Daeyoon, do you remember the second question you had for King Ju?"
“Oh!” Daeyoon swiftly stood up, knocking the table with his knees as he went and completely forgetting about the ‘special drinks’. He crouched down next to his backpack and rummaged through it. Though he didn’t seem to have much luck finding whatever it was he tried to look for.
Next to Haknyeon, you let out a little laugh. You took another sip of your tea and gestured for Haknyeon to do the same. It tasted floral and fruity, not like what Haknyeon usually drank, but nice in a different sort of way. He smiled as he set his cup down, and he sent you the look as a frail form of thanks. Though, when he looked at you well and good for the first time, his eyes stuck in place.
You wore a different hairstyle today than usual, he noticed, and it made you look, well, cute. Not that you weren't cute before, but… maybe that wasn't the right word… you've always looked nice… no, that sounded backhanded somehow—
"Papa," Daeyoon interrupted, making Haknyeon jerk his eyes off of you and onto his son. His little eyes darted between Haknyeon and you for a moment, filled with a question Haknyeon wouldn't know how to answer. All Haknyeon could do was pray you hadn't noticed him staring, but how could you not have? You were the only other person in the room, and you were sitting right next to him, for god's sake. Daeyoon waved his fingers in front of Haknyeon's face. "Papa?"
"Uh, yes?"
Daeyoon grinned from ear to ear, happy that he got his dad's full attention back. "Question two," he announced, "do you want…" He pulled his hand out from under the table, revealing a second paper crown and holding it out proudly in front of him. "THIS?"
Haknyeon's heart swelled at the sight of the craft, all bits of glitter and messy doodles. On one side, letters spelled out 'King Papa', the first word in what must have been your handwriting, and the other lopsided one in Daeyoon's. The crown sparkled under the fluorescent lights of the daycare.
"Aww, buddy, of course I'd like it." Haknyeon went to take the crown from Daeyoon, but it was swiped away at the last second. Making a sound of confusion, Haknyeon raised an eyebrow.
Daeyoon held the crown close to him, almost hugging it if it weren't so fragile. "If you want it, you gotta make a promise," he said.
"A promise?"
"Uh huh," Daeyoon urged, nodding enthusiastically. "You gotta promise to…" He furrowed his brow in concentration, trying to find the words. Suddenly his eyes widened as if he got it. "If you're late…"
Haknyeon turned his head to catch you sending hand signals to Daeyoon, and you quickly looked away, sipping your tea as if nothing happened. He could see the coy smile on your lips, though.
"...if you're late," Daeyoon continued, drawing back Haknyeon's attention, "you have to… call… so…"
You gestured your hand for Daeyoon to continue, mouthing the words for him.
"...we know… you're… okay!"
Both you and Daeyoon cheered at his success, and you leaned over the kid's table to high five him. Haknyeon let out a sigh, turning to you again.
"I really am sorry for being late, it won't happen again," he told you, but there was no guarantee behind that promise.
You shrugged. "It's no skin off my back, besides, I sort of needed the overtime pay anyways." Finishing off your tea, you placed the mug softly on the table. "Oh, but you do actually have to call in when you can, because if we don't know if you're okay or not, we have to call child protective services. Which, to be honest, is the last thing I wanna do."
With a cute little wink, you turned back to Daeyoon. "Okay Princess, it's time to crown King Ju and go home, alright?"
“Nooooooo,” Daeyoon whined, "I wanna play with you and Papa."
“I think we’ve bothered them for long enough, Daeyoon. It’s time to go.” Haknyeon held out his hand for the crown and put it on his head with a smile when Daeyoon handed it over. He then picked up Daeyoon’s bag, slung it over one shoulder, and picked up Daeyoon so his chest was against his own. Daeyoon’s legs naturally wrapped around Haknyeon’s waist. He wouldn’t protest anymore, not when he got to sit in Haknyeon’s grip — his favorite. Apparently he liked hearing his dad’s heartbeat. Slowly, Haknyeon made his way out of the room. “Do you drive home?”
You looked up at Haknyeon after putting away the tea set, grabbing your own bag, and turning off the room lights, walking out and closing the door behind you. “No, I take the bus usually.”
“Usually?”
Your eyes turned to the floor as you let out a nervous laugh. “Yeah… sometimes I leave my pass at home so I have to walk. Oh, I have it today, though.”
The sky outside glowed a soft pink colour, a warning that night would soon fall. Haknyeon could feel the weight in his arms growing heavier, and he knew that meant Daeyoon was falling asleep, something he always did in the comfort of his father’s hold. “It’s getting dark,” he said as you both stepped out of Dream Daycare.
“I don’t live very far,” you assured with a smile.
“I…” Was he really about to ask? Yes. “I could give you a lift, if you’d like, as thanks for your troubles. I know Daeyoon can be a handful.”
“That’s very sweet of you to offer, but I’m actually meeting a friend tonight. They’re going to pick me up just down the road.” You pointed in the opposite direction of where Haknyeon was headed, and he felt his heart deflate. He wasn’t sure why, but he knew he’d enjoy a few more minutes with you. There was no point in arguing, though, you barely knew him.
He wanted to get to know you.
“But…” you drawled, taking one step closer to him, hands clasped behind your back, “I wouldn’t be against thanks in the form of ice cream this weekend. Only if the Princess approves, of course.”
Haknyeon could only meet your eyes in shock for more than a few seconds. Letting out a laugh that was more a relieved exhale than anything, he smiled to the ground. He returned his gaze to you. “It’s a date.”
#The Boyz#The Boyz scenarios#The Boyz imagines#The Boyz Juhaknyeon#Juhaknyeon#The Boyz fluff#the boyz requests#The Boyz oneshot#single dad au#juhaknyeon x reader#kpop scenarios#kpop one shot#kpop requests#kpop imagines#This is for probably my biggest fan lol#ways to fall in love
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Men’s grooming moments with The Plastic Cup Boyz
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Star, July 6
You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks
Cover: Kelly Clarkson and Brandon Blackstock nastiest divorce ever
Page 1: Within weeks of their split both Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green go public with others -- Brian was photographed picking up Mexican takeout with reality vet Courtney Stodden and two days later Megan confirmed her romance with Machine Gun Kelly with a public makeout session in his car
Page 2: Contents
Page 4: Danny Masterson charged with rape -- dogged by sexual assault accusations for years the sitcom star and Scientologist could get 45 years to life
Page 6: Meghan Markle is distancing herself from pal Jessica Mulroney after the stylist was caught bullying black influencer Sasha Exeter, Matt James is the first African-American Bachelor, Brittany Aldean is no stranger to haters as she’s been expertly handling criticism since being accused of breaking up country singer Jason Aldean’s marriage to his high school sweetheart in 2013 and recently she’s been dealing with mom-shaming about her 2-year-old son Memphis’ long hair
Page 8: Star Shots -- Tia Mowry-Hardrict meditating, Kourtney Kardashian cuddling a lamb, Heather Graham en route to a pool party
Page 10: Brooke Burke, shirtless Machine Gun Kelly, David Beckham with his dogs Olive and Fig and Sage
Page 12: Debi Mazar celebrated Pride Month, Salma Hayek in a no-makeup selfie
Page 13: Molly Sims, Kevin Hart showed off his muscles and his muscle car during a meetup of the Plastic Cup Boyz Car Club
Page 14: Life Goes On After Lockdown -- Rob Lowe at the beach, Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez go for a bike ride, Harry Styles showed off some unexpected ink: his knees have tattoos of yes and no in French and Spanish
Page 16: Halle and Chloe Bailey, Emily Ratajkowski, Dua Lipa with red hair
Page 18: Normal or Not? Mark Wahlberg’s wife Rhea kisses a cardboard replica of him to celebrate his 49th birthday -- not, Miles Teller keeps a watchful eye as a mechanic fixed his ailing Bronco -- normal
Page 20: Fashion -- stars stand out in shades of blue -- Nika King, Zoey Deutch, Maddie Ziegler
Page 21: Jordana Brewster, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Karlie Kloss
Page 24: How Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel saved their marriage -- the formerly fractured couple rekindle the flame in Montana
Page 25: The scrutiny surrounding pregnant Lea Michele is affecting her marriage to Zandy Reich because Lea has been consolable since being publicly slammed by former Glee costar Samantha Marie Ware prompting others to share their own horror stories of working with Lea -- she’s distraught that her good-girl image has been destroyed and is short-tempered and hormonal and taking it out on Zandy, Courteney Cox and Johnny McDaid were apart for several months as the result of travel restrictions caused by Covid-19 but since they’ve reunited they’ve decided to make things official
Page 26: Cover Story -- Kelly Clarkson’s shocking split is getting ugly -- Kelly and Brandon Blackstock are battling it out over money and custody issues and accusations over who wrecked their nearly seven-year marriage
Page 30: Kim Kardashian’s billion dollar babies -- deluxe cribs, lavish toys, designer clothes, private planes -- Kim and Kanye West’s kids are living the dream
Page 34: Thirst Impressions -- these celebs have no shame when it comes to their social media game -- Bella Hadid, Lizzo, Demi Lovato, Chris Meloni
Page 35: Jennifer Lopez, Charlie Puth
Page 36: Beauty -- SPFs -- Kelly Bensimon
Page 38: Fun Fab Fourth -- Thomas Rhett and wife Lauren Akins with kids Willa and Ada, Ava Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon
Page 40: Entertainment
Page 48: Tom Brady in his new Tampa Bay Buccaneers uniform
#tabloid#tabloid toc#grain of salt#kelly clarkson#brandon blackstock#blake shelton#tom brady#tom brady of the tampa bay buccaneers#tampa bay buccaneers qb tom brady#harry styles#megan fox#machine gun kelly#brian austin green#courtney stodden#dorit kemsley#danny masterson#meghan markle#jessica mulroney#matt james#brittany aldean#justin timberlake#jessica biel#lea michele#courteney cox#johnny mcdaid#kim kardashian#kanye west#miles teller
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Blessings - Jacob
Here we start the first of nine prompts for the @starryktown Unbeleafable Bingo collaboration :) enjoy my first tbz work!!! Dedicated to @banhmi07 because your ask about Jacob playing guitar helped inspire this :D
Unbeleafable prompt: seasonal coffee
Pairing: Jacob x fem!reader
Genre: fluff, barista!au
Triggers: some cursing
Word Count: 1k
An angel’s voice soothes your work-worn mind.
Unbeleafable Masterlist | The Boyz Drabbles Masterlist
As much as you love the café with its warm, cozy atmosphere, hot drinks, and pleasant customers, there are still days where you either want to throw yourself out of the window or sink behind the counter and lie on the ground for several hours. There’s no in-between.
Today is one of those days, where there are too few workers, too many rude customers, and to top it off, it’s the start of the holiday season and all anyone wants to order are the stupid seasonal drinks you put out to increase business during the winter months.
The words “pumpkin spice” and “peppermint” and “marshmallows” practically send you into apoplectic shock at this point. You don’t think those words have the right to exist anymore.
One thing keeps you sane, though. In the last few hours of the rush, you become aware of the strumming of a guitar floating through the open door as people come in and out. It isn’t just the instrument, either – someone’s voice, a voice as smooth as the coffee you’re pouring and as sweet as the sugar sprinkled in, flows through the air.
It’s the sound of an angel, you’re sure. One of the powers above saw you dying behind the counter and blessed you with an angel’s voice to keep you alive. So even though you feel like crying behind the plastic smile you present to each customer, handing off cups of coffee and plates of pastries, you don’t collapse and melt into the ground. You stay standing.
And, well, you have to find some way to thank the angel. It’s only proper, isn’t it, to thank the heavenly being who kept you from leaping into the void?
So when there’s finally a lull in the rush and you have the opportunity to collapse in a chair and close your eyes for a few minutes, you stay behind the counter instead. Your eyes are drooping but you force yourself to focus, fingers flying as you pour coffee, add sugar and syrup and a bit of chocolate, and pick out one of Felix’s best-selling pastries fresh out of the oven to put in a small bag.
It’s one of the stupid seasonal coffee drinks. If you were thinking properly, you might have made something different because you’re tired of peppermint-chocolate-whatever-the-fuck-this-is, but it’s one of the café’s best sellers and your hands are operating on muscle memory at this point, so whatever. Felix’s pastry will make up for the indignity of a holiday drink.
You can still hear the angel singing when you step out of the café, leaving Eric to man the counter in your absence. It doesn’t take long to pinpoint the direction the voice is coming from – someone’s sitting on one of the benches a few feet away, strumming a guitar.
Suddenly, you feel very shy, standing there with a cup of coffee in one hand and a pastry in the other. What if the person thinks you’re weird, coming over to give them food because you liked their singing? What if they don’t like the pastry? What if they don’t even like coffee?
Well, fuck it, you tell yourself. You’re already out here. You also don’t want to drink the coffee or eat the pastry, so you may as well give it a shot. And people who don’t appreciate Felix’s baking are people you don’t want to associate with.
The angel doesn’t look up at first, just keeps singing as you walk a bit closer. For a few moments, you just stand nearby, waiting awkwardly for him to finish the music.
Eventually, though, he looks up. And though you sorely miss the sound of his voice in your ears, the smile on his face is more than enough to make up for it.
With light brown hair and dark eyes, the singing angel looks unreal. He looks up at you with the sweetest smile, like the embodiment of peace and calm sent down from the sky. “Hi,” he greets quietly.
God really sent a fucking angel. He really did that.
It takes a second to find your voice, but eventually, you do. “Hi. Um, I’m Y/N. I work at the café just a few doors down. Listen, uh, this might sound really weird and awkward, but I was having a really bad day and your singing really helped me out. Your voice is beautiful.” You cough, embarrassed. “So I just wanted to bring you something as a sort of thanks for helping me get through it. It’s just coffee and a pastry.” You put them down on the seat next to him. “I hope you like it.”
You really didn’t think it was possible for his smile to get even wider but it does, a pink tint rising on his cheeks as he dips his head in thanks. “Thank you,” he says, eyes sparkling. “I’ll be sure to enjoy it.” He bites his lip as though unsure of what to say next, then smiles again. “My name is Jacob.”
He’s beautiful. He’s fucking beautiful and you don’t know what to do with this new information and your brain is short-circuiting but you finally manage to reply. “It was really nice to meet you, Jacob.” You bow slightly. “You seriously have a beautiful voice.”
He grins. “Thank you.”
As you walk back into the café, you think that’s the end of it. You’ve met an angel, he’ll return to the heavens, you won’t see him again. The heavens above sent him to you for several hours, and you’re more than thankful for that.
Which is why you nearly have a heart attack the next afternoon when Jacob walks into the café, guitar slung against his back, and shyly asks for “the drink you made yesterday, it was really good.”
(Eric and Felix snicker behind the counter as you trip your way through a response. They outright snort with laughter when Jacob dawdles at the counter for a moment longer than he has to, then slips a piece of paper over to you with pink cheeks and dashes out of the café.
The paper has his fucking phone number on it, along with a very sweet note. And if you stay up all night texting the brown-haired boy with the angelic voice, what of it, Felix? Eric? What fucking of it?)
#starryktown#unbeleafable bingo#the boyz#tbz#the boyz scenarios#the boyz jacob scenarios#tbz scenarios#tbz jacob#jacob#fluff#barista!au#drabble#blessings#scriptura-delirus
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first love au ➝ the boyz (part one)
reposted from my old tumblr @weburnithwall
FIRST LOVE AU: 1/3
sangyeon
“sangyeon-ah!”
sangyeon pulls out a headphone and turns around to face whoever yelled out his name
when he sees that it’s you, almost immediately, a smile forms on his face and he pulls the other headphone out before stuffing them into his pocket
“don’t you have practice today?” you ask, looping your arm with his
you point at the duffel bag hanging off his shoulder, but he blanks out the moment you make contact with him
he snaps out of his trance after a few seconds and shakes his head no
“no, coach cancelled it last minute.”
you grin up at him and unloop your arm from his to hold his hand instead
“let’s go to the arcade! i swear i’ll beat you at the basketball game this time!”
you start to walk faster in the direction of arcade, dragging along a smiling sangyeon who swears his heart is beating a little too quickly
when you’re playing the crane game, sangyeon receives a text from jacob
JACOB: where are you? practice just started and coach is pretty mad because you skipped
instead of sending a reply, sangyeon turns off his phone and joins you in a game of air hockey
maybe skipping practice once in a while isn’t such a bad thing after all
jacob
“jacob!”
jacob turns around and sees you running towards him with a small paper bag
you hold it out in front of him and he can see that there’s a small bottle of milk along with a bag of cereal and a red solo cup inside
there’s also a small cold pack and a plastic spoon
“i heard from hyunjae that you didn’t eat anything yet. make sure you win the match!”
jacob takes the small bag from you with both hands and pulls you into a short hug
he holds you for a little longer than a ‘thank you’ hug should last, so when he pulls away, his face is on fire and he can’t look you in the eyes
“thanks for the food,” he mutters before dashing towards the bus
when he takes his seat beside hyunjae, he takes the cold pack out of the bag and presses it against his cheeks
“are you hot? it’s like seven degrees outside…” hyunjae trails off
jacob looks past hyunjae and waves to you as the bus starts; you wave back with a smile and mouth ‘you got this!’
hyunjae follows jacob’s gaze and chuckles when he sees the small interaction between the two of you
“man, you are so whipped for her.”
younghoon
“younghoon!”
the said boy turns his attention away from his friends and onto the girl running towards him
the other members of the swim team are smirking at younghoon and the three of them pat him on the back before walking away to leave the two of you alone
“let’s take a picture together! our parents are standing by the gate right now!”
before he can resist, you grab his hand and lead him over the school gates
there’s a faint blush painted across his cheeks, and when both your parents and younghoon’s parents see the two of you arriving together, they make mental note to tease the poor boy about over dinner
while the four parents are getting ready for the picture, your free hand moves to younghoon’s head and fix the strand of hair that’s out of place
you smile up at him as you do this, and the blush on his face becomes much more prominent
“kids! get ready! we’re gonna take the picture now!” younghoon’s mom calls out
you’re still holding younghoon’s hand when his mom snaps the photo, and younghoon silently prays in his head that you won’t let go of it after you’re done taking pictures
spoiler: you don’t
#first love au#the boyz#the boyz scenarios#the boyz imagines#lee sangyeon#sangyeon#the boyz sangyeon#bae jacob#jacob#the boyz jacob#kim younghoon#lee sangyeon scenarios#bae jacob scenarios#kim younghoon scenarios
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