My personal Manifesto

I believe that this world was made for me, so I deserve to have the best fitting life. I believe that there’s always beauty in the world to be found, that there’s always a new interesting thing to discover and new interesting people in the world to meet. I believe that my life is actually worth living, and I make an effort to also make it worth living, while the world is supporting me by showing me the same thing. I am surrounded by amazing opportunities that fit my ideal life and fulfill me. I believe in all the love and beauty and pleasure of the world. I believe in myself and in my power as God. I don’t depend on others because I am self-sufficient, emotionally and physically. I am not afraid to be myself, nor do I care about anyone’s opinion but mine, because my own happiness is my priority. I don’t hide myself or my feelings to make people comfortable. Even when faced with adversities, I remain faithful to myself, always trusting my instincts and ability to solve any problem. I believe in myself so much, some would call it delusional but I just refuse to underestimate myself. I am comfortable with discomfort, but I never betray myself. I can rely on myself for anything, so I’m not scared of being alone. I prioritize my own satisfaction and detach easily from unfulfilling relationships and situations.I pick and choose what is good enough to enter my life. My deep rooted self confidence and faith in myself are unbreakable. I am persistent and stubborn, demanding but independent, and always get what I want. I am who I am and I don’t apologize for being me. I have so much fun experimenting with myself and exploring this world and people, always approaching everything with a child-like curiosity. I find my own solutions, even if they’re unconventional. I do things just for the fun of it, and am always seeking things that fulfill, satisfy and excite me. I do everything I wanna do, and I am everything I wanna be. I value and prioritize my interests, no matter how big or small they are. I speak my truth and say what I mean. I am the least judgmental person ever. I never allow any judgment to stop me from doing things my own, unique way. I always have fun expressing myself. I allow myself to do anything I want, and to express myself, physically, socially, mentally or emotionally however I want. I am fluid and understand the fluidity of life, I’m not scared of losing relationships. I am always in a constant flow of meeting and getting to know people and forming new, meaningful relationships. and even then, I know I can always rely on myself, so I am never scared of ending relationships that don’t fit or benefit me.

Refrigerator Art

I read a lot about creativity. I see myself as a creative person, but not in a field that is traditionally seen as “creative”. But what is creativity? Creating. You create something for some reason and put it out there.

Then what is software? That’s creating code to teach a crystal with lightning how to show the internet. I digress. This isn’t a post about why software is a creative trade.

Back to reading. I’ve found a pattern of books that spark my creative interest: they focus more about sharing your work or making space in your head to make the work than anything else.

Both Show Your Work by Austin Kleon and Building a Second Brain by Tiago Forte talk about this concept of bite sized work. They call this work “stock” or “intermediate packets”, respectively. And respectively? I hate those terms.

So I’m going to make refrigerator art. Refrigerator art is bite sized, something you see when your main point isn’t to Observe Art™, and there is no pressure on quality. If a 6 year old can make art deemed worthy of the refrigerator in a day, then so can I.

I’m not sure what medium this will take—infographics, mini blog posts, water color, lil doodles, whatever. But it doesn’t matter. The sheer fact that this refrigerator art is coming from my brain means it is a cohesive body of work. I’m what ties it together!

But maybe you can expect a more deep dive into these books I’ve found creatively intriguing. But also this isn’t an assignment to me. I CAN DO WHAT I WANT.

It’s Refrigerator Art ✨

(Find all books from graphic on my list on Bookshop.org)

"oh no, don't give up! it's definitely going to happen for you! <3" stop it. stop pretending you're able to know the unknowable. stop acting as if the only way for me to be happy and fulfilled is the same way in which you are happy and fulfilled. sometimes things don't happen for a reason. sometimes things don't happen for no reason at all. i'm not gonna sit around waiting for hypothetical things to happen. you need to be able to accept me the way i am, even if you think i'm incomplete right now. that's what love is supposed to be like. and that is not a hypothetical.

On some level I understand the rejection or outright denial of V2's death: it was jarring and brutal, especially for a character who, at least in laws of traditional video game rivals and the rule of thirds, seemed like it'd stick around for longer. This said, inferring from in-game lore as well as dev statements, I believe V2's death, tragic that it is, is not unwarranted; and that it is commonly pigeonholed into a characterization it does not fit into due to its assumed role within the game.

This is long, so it's going under the cut.

Considering its name, it's easy to assume V2 is a new and improved version of its predecessor; but it is more heavily implied that it's simply a version of V1 with thicker plating, and nothing more. [1] V2 was an attempt at salvaging V1's design after war became irrelevant, to capitalize on the resources wasted on a highly advanced war machine by rebranding it as an adaptable worker, for security and (theoretically) other peacetime activities (...not an innuendo). This was a failure; there's no reason to invest in something so refined when a handful of lesser machines could do the same job [2].

If V2 is contextualized within its backstory, it makes a lot more sense why it ate shit so quickly. It is, out of any in-game machine so far, one of the least suited for survival in Hell. Sentries and Streetcleaners were created for war. Swordsmachine(s) and Mindflayers are scrapheads, constantly adapting to create (and protect) their perfect, lethal body. [3] If anything, it's on the same level as a Drone, able to defend itself in a limited capacity, but not intentionally programmed or built for combat. Faced with V1, something built for perfect, swift destruction, a machine made for peace would stand even less of a chance than normal, even with an equal level of mobility and build.

V2 is also doomed, in a very literal sense, by the narrative. In a meta sense, it does not matter to the game story whatsoever [4]. V1 is the butterfly whose wing flaps set Gabriel's story in motion, but V2 has no such connection to his story, and is thus irrelevant. Even its lore entry is overshadowed by information about V1/its connection to V1. A third fight, as well, was never in the running, not necessarily due to anything in the game lore, but because its first and second encounters are all it needs: a third rematch would be repetitive and messy [5]. The reason for its extremely violent death sequence is to ensure there was no question as to its fate [6].

In regards to its personality; it is oft-headcanoned as loud, irritable, and competitive, but this characterization is more likely due to its color as well as its assumed role as a "rival" to V1; rather than based upon its in-game actions. Although its initial intentions are up to interpretation [7], comparing its actions and mechanics to other enemies fully rationalizes its anger. Although it's fairly easy to enrage in-fight, the criteria for its enrage state is much more specific than other enemies, and it's quite easy to not trigger it at all. Cerberi will enrage after one of its kind dies, Malicious Faces and Mindflayers after a certain amount of damage has been dealt (on Violent). Most notably, as the only other character with a rematch, Gabriel begins his second fight enraged after his first defeat [3], which can imply by extension that even though V2 is taking its second fight more seriously [8], it is still not outwardly angry. Its enrage state is only triggered when its patience is depleted (the player avoids it for too long), or in its second fight when it has been punched with the Knuckleblaster. These can be interpreted as indicators that V2 likes it when the fight is "fair": when it's not being avoided and picked at from a distance, or being hit with its own arm; which is frankly pretty fucking mean. A side note: Returning to its creation, it can also potentially be inferred that V2 was intentionally programmed with a rational, controlled, and even marketable personality, easily suppressed or overwritten for ease of use.

In another game, or if V1 was the protagonist, perhaps V2 would not be dead. Instead, V2 is doomed by its creators, both in-game and in reality. It mirrors V1 in action and Gabriel in mind, but unlike them, it has no place in this story beyond a truly fantastic duo of fights. Although its story has any number of potential rewritings or epilogues [9], its doom was always intended. It's easy to mourn lost potential, and its end is intensely tragic; but I believe it is a tragedy that meshes nicely with the rest of the game's story. V2 is dead, and not a second too soon.

Footnotes:

1.

Along with the lore entry for V2:

V1’s planned production was cancelled and an updated model, V2, was developed instead, using the standardized plating, since durability was far more important during times of peace when no bloodshed was necessary.

2.

twitter.com/HakitaDev/status/1538313328715513857

3. in-game lore entries, can be read on ultrakill.miraheze.org or here in one document: steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2245904838

4.

5.

twitter.com/HakitaDev/status/1538336055681863680

6. "And then V2 dies as hard as anyone could possibly die to make sure people understand he's fucking dead and is not coming back" - dev commentary, 05:08:09 (youtu.be/kaImho5JioI?si=v4_m90nfLOY-DyEZ&t=18489)

7.

8.

9. Notably, Dream's End Come True / v2isdead.com.

“ohhhh so nesta can be MEAN to the IC but they can’t do it back” i’m twenty. if a sixteen year old got under my skin that much to the point i was beefing with them i would end it all out of sheer humiliation. i don’t even want to imagine how embarrassing it would be if i was over 500 and a girl in her twenties got to me that bad. like was it really that serious.

idc how many products beauty bloggers use but I'm begging them to stop calling the result "natural"

like if you need 8 hair products to make it look like that, you didn't "bring out your hair's natural texture". you styled it. after 3 styling products that's a style. calling that revealing your "real" hair just furthers the idea that this overconsumption of beauty products is somehow an innate and necessary part of the human existence. if you enjoy using 8 different hair products every wash that's one thing, but you didn't unlock how it "really" looks. that's like saying "put on this shapewear to reveal your body's natural shape".

I know beauty bloggers are as much a victim of the predatory beauty industry as their average follower and I can't ascibe malice to every individual blogger trying to make some money, but they are in a position of continuing this cycle of violence and their actions do contribute to the continued success of this nightmare that is the beauty industry.

On your knees.

there’s so many ways that queerness exists in texts, unintentionally and intentionally, coded and uncoded and partially coded and baited and confused and limited and expansive, and then there’s whatever is happening with Hawkeye Pierce, M.D. of the 4077th MASH unit

The takes on how the communist book club is "completely inaccessible to actual working people" (which... not quite true, Steban did invite Mañana, and for all else that he is, Harry is v much a person with a job) are a) lame and b) not funny enough for my purposes. You know what would be great to think about instead? What would happen if, let's say, fuckin, Titus Hardie joined them

Wild to me that there are ship wars for Interview With The Vampire when, as a teen, The Vampire Chronicles were some of my first exposure to non-monogany.

Obviously it wasn't perfect. I mean, Lestat/Louis/Claudia is a textbook example of "relationship broken, add more people (oh no now it's even more broken)," and "not every Vee should become a Triad." If you've ever experienced the drama of an incestuous non-mono community where everyone's dated everyone... those books all get a little too real. There's backstabbing, jealousy, domestic abuse, and more murder than I personally prefer in my own polyamory 😅

But there's also "we belong to each other, why would anything we do with other people affect that?" There's "let's find out what it looks like to be with someone for the rest of my life (or theirs)." The idea that relationships have value even if they don't last forever. That romantic relationships aren't inherently more important than platonic ones. The idea that you can hold multiple people in your heart at the same time, that there's room for everyone. That the relationship escalator (dating > marriage > kids > death) isn't the only (or best) way to have significant, committed relationships.

They introduced the concept of comet relationships to my baby brain more than a decade before I would learn the actual term--those people you don't see for months or years but as soon as you see them it's like no time has passed (a personal favorite for my ADHD ass).

Like, when I say those books changed my brain chemistry, I mean that my silly little self-insert Mary Sue OCs went from "marry my fictional crush and be with them forever" to "what if they only saw each other once or twice a year but it was still incredible" and "what if she was married but also had a vampire lover and everyone was chill about it (and also she was a rock star)" and "what if they all lived in one big house together" and/or "what if lived by herself and found that fulfilling" and "what if men and women and ???" That shit was formative. Some of those little daydream OCs live in my brain to this day.

-

Idk man. I don't have much patience for ship wars anyway (and I'm scratching my head about people getting upset about canon relationships being, you know, canon). But with TVA especially, my brain simply cannot comprehend it in a monogamous framework.

Valentine's Special ~ Aerith/Tifa from Final Fantasy VII: Remake (Compilation)

Since today is Valentine’s Day, and FFVII: Rebirth is releasing at the end of this month, it’s the perfect time to get caught up on Aerith/Tifa, a.k.a. Aerti, a.k.a. possibly the most unexpected F/F ship in gaming! Here is what I consider to be the most comprehensive compilation of Aerti scenes from FFVII: Remake, prepared by yours truly for your viewing (and shipping) pleasure :)

Quick sales pitch: While Aerith is famously The One Who Dies and Tifa is known for her sexy character design, they are also popularly remembered as main character Cloud’s two equally appealing love interests, as attested to by one Robert Pattinson. However, just as the elements present in the original 1997 game Final Fantasy VII were expanded on and added to in FFVII: Remake, the relationship between Aerith and Tifa was also fleshed out… to the point where it became very, very easy to ship them together. To put it in Tumblr terms, it’s like Betty and Veronica, but taken in a different – but still (subtextually) gay – direction compared to Riverdale. Check out the video above, it's just 1.5 hours!

(Longer sales pitch / commentary below the cut)

Originally from the hit 1997 Japanese role-playing game Final Fantasy VII, Aerith and Tifa, along with the main character Cloud Strife, were one of the most famous love triangles of video games at the time, and arguably even now. (Note: Think Betty and Veronica (Archie but pre-Riverdale), or if you’re more familiar with anime, Rei and Asuka (Neon Genesis: Evangelion) or Saber and Rin (Fate: Stay Night).) Although they barely had any interactions together and really were primarily love interests for Cloud in the original game (and subsequent related works), the relationship between Aerith and Tifa was significantly more fleshed out in Final Fantasy VII: Remake (2020), going beyond your standard box-ticking “look, girl power!” exercise. There seems to have been many a fan who walked out of playing Remake who found Aerti (i.e. Aerith and Tifa’s relationship) memorable – whether read romantically or platonically – resulting in many GIFs, fanart, and even compilations of memorable scenes of their “friendship”.

Not only do they interact with each other outside of speaking about Cloud or other male characters (scraping a pass in the Bechdel test, yay!), Remake gives the relationship space to develop from “strangers who hit it off” to “individuals who care about and trust each other”. Significantly, Aerith is the one who seems to take Tifa’s concerns the most seriously and comfort her, and Tifa is also able to see past Aerith’s cheery façade and reach out to her at her times of greatest need. In my opinion, each of the pair offers the greatest emotional support to the other out of all the characters – even more than what they do for Cloud (or what Cloud does for them).

So what makes their relationship romantic rather than simply platonic to me (other than sheer force of will)? Even though there isn’t really any direct flirting or explicitly romantic lines, there are a number of moments which are framed romantically or parallel romantic moments between Cloud/Aerith or Cloud/Tifa. Perhaps the most obvious of this is when Tifa protects Aerith from falling (twice), which is animated and shot in a way which suggests that it’s just as swoon-worthy as when Cloud protected Tifa from a fall in a prior scene. However, another notable example is how the high-five gesture is linked to Cloud’s opening up to Aerith (as he has to be persuaded over the course of several scenes to do the high-five), but Aerith also high-fives Tifa in other scenes later, effectively appropriating the gesture. So while I never expect it to ever become canon, Remake’s Aerti has been a wonderful surprise and I hope to see even greater developments in their relationship within this subtextual space as the FFVII: Remake trilogy progresses.

Let's all hope for the best-- in the meantime, please enjoy this compilation!

if u dont include that hug im gonna riot (joking ofc, but fr they're so emotionally constipated i love them.)

Well, now I gotta do it!!

The main reason I was thinking of tossing it is that the next 666 is going to be in a two chapter format again and I think I might have the first chapter end somewhat poorly, whereas the hug was from the one chapter happy ending version.

Anyway, that's my way of saying that if I include it, it'll probably be at the end of chapter two instead, haha. There were a lot of comments on S6E66 about Vox's confession and Alastor's reaction to it that were super interesting to me in terms of how people interpreted how much Alastor cares, how much Vox cares, whether there is an imbalance and if so what it actually is, etc! It was fun to see that a lot of people had pretty different reads on the situation.

It made me want to dig more into it in the next fic, haha, especially because writing an aromantic character is important to me and I think that's not actually ground I often see covered in fic (as opposed to allo and even ace characters)!

(I want it on record that I will be dragging these two into what passes for a fairly healthy relationship when you're Them if I have to do it to them kicking and screaming, which they probably will be.)

Most romantic thing in the world to me actually would be if Spock went thru with kolinahr and everything went to plan and he was genuinely fine and comfortable with himself afterwards but he deeply regrets it still bc he realizes it wasn't logical to have gone through with it when he only did it to be accepted and there was nothing ever wrong with him, purging emotions isn't some superior state of being it's just a different mode of existence that is no more valuable than the former, and Jim's wellbeing is still very important to him as his t'hy'la bc mutual relationships are not the product of emotion they are a fundamentally important part of life whether u have feelings or not and Jim does have feelings and it was fucked up of him to damage them over his obsession with fitting in to Vulcan society, and a few weeks after he comes back he tells Jim he loves him softly while tryna calm him down from something and he's like no you fucking don't please dont say that to me it hurts more knowing you'd lie about it and Spock's like I'm not lying I do love you and Jim pulls himself up and looks him in the eyes like ok what does that mean and he goes I don't think it matters that I can't feel emotion anymore when I know what loving you felt like. It's in my core. If it can transcend life, actual material existence then why wouldn't it be able to transcend the emotion itself. Don't you think it's bigger than any of that. I love you because I know I do

Listening to Nevermore on loop for fake battle amv reasons and the line that keeps getting stuck in my teeth is "the goal of a savior is not to be lionized"

Like. Is it any wonder why an orphan would jump at the first thing that gets him praise, that he would learn to associate death with gratitude? It would be like crack to him, and, like any addiction, he'd have to escalate to get the same results. That's not something to demonize, that's a goddamn tragedy

Also, who gives a shit about the why? So long as the end result was freedom for faunus, why should it matter that he's doing it for attention? "Oh no, Adam's springing slaves from cages to stroke his own ego!!1!" Grow up

Hate when a good song has shit context

the ocd fairy has visited me with visions of james wilson. i am not projecting he just definitely has it.

I know rogues aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, but hell if they aren’t survivors.*  Nearly all of their core abilities are passive and don’t require recharging.  Just in the lower level class features, Expertise lets you specialize in the already extended list of proficient skills you get, Cunning Action gives you an expanded action economy, and Uncanny Dodge and Evasion reduce or negate damage altogether.

They’re also easy to customize so you can really hone your rogue’s specialty in a given area, and if you want to multiclass, they can make a pretty functional multiclass with almost any other class out there.  And sure, a lot of people like to play their rogues as edgy loners, but there’s absolutely nothing that says you have to do that.

The only thing is that there isn’t a rogue player alive who actually understands how the rules for Sneak Attack work, but then it’s like a nice personal surprise for you when the DM sighs and goes “...yeah, you would have Sneak Attack” and you get to roll a whole handful of dice at once.

*Vax’ildan of Vox Machina, who has a Constitution score of 11 and has died four times in one campaign, is an outlier but we love him all the same.