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moonpascaltoo · 1 month

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╰┈➤ 18+ none of these stories belong to me! this is a masterlist of all the moon knight boys stories i’ve read and reblogged! just thought it would be nice to have them all in one spot! (if your fic is on here and you wish not to be, please let me know!) some will have summaries if provided <3

MASTERLIST • OSCAR ISAAC CHARACTERS • 05/26/24

☾ moon knight one

☾ moon knight three

☾ @laaundromat

☼ building love

⭒ Steven has unconsciously set himself up on a date with his crush.

☾ @storiesforallfandoms

☼ how things are

⭒ now that they’ve learned how to share the body, they must come to terms with the fact that they also have to share their wife

☾ @little-worm-grant

☼ uncomplicated

⭒ Deep down you knew Jake wouldn’t be calling if he didn’t think he needed you. Or maybe that’s what you told yourself to make it more tolerable to be out of your warm bed at this hour.

☾ @mccn-bcys

☼ just a touch of your hand part 2 part 3

⭒ when you turn eighteen, an ink stain appears on your skin wherever your soulmate touches you for the first time. the boys each are dealing with their stain in their own way.

☼ sensual pleasure?

⭒ your friends take you to the museum but you never were interested in the history. Until your friend introduces you to a cute gift-shoppist who gives you little history lessons. Suddenly, a ring sparks becomes a little more than a cool item he showed you.

☾ @missdictatorme

☼ open my eyes

⭒ Jake and Steven were more than happy when you agreed to be in a relationship with them, but Marc barely fronts when you're near. Will he warm up to you over time?

☼ third ones the charm part 2

⭒ Jake Lockley was fine. Really. Marc and Steven are happy with their girlfriend and he's okay staying in the shadows. He's used to staying in the shadows. He managed to stay hidden from the boys for years, but lately something makes him take control more and more. Or rather, someone makes him take control more and more.

☼ the thin line

⭒ Steven and Marc are literally glowing with happiness since they were in a relationship with you. Jake is mostly annoyed and is constantly trying to make you leave. Marc and Steven are having none of it.

☼ forget me not

⭒ You and the boys (uhm…) decided to break up after the fights became more and more frequent in your relationship. Marc was mostly disappointed, Steven was sad and Jake… Jake was bitter. And angry. So when you send them a text weeks after the break up to ask them to collect their remaining stuff from your apartment, maybe Jake isn’t happy when he sees you might have moved on.

☾ @wysteria-clad

☼ our little thing

⭒ you have a specific thing with each of them. It's not like you don't do it with other two, but you do enjoy a little act of intimacy that is special to each of them.

☾ @m00nsbaby

☼ the already over series

☼ weightless

⭒ The feeling of being trapped goes beyond the ankle bracelet that keeps him tied to the bed.

☾ @bruhstories

☼ canonic jar

⭒ marc is exasperated by you, but he needs to behave because you're steven's girlfriend.

☾ @eyelessfaces

☼ formal wear

☾ @bensolosbluesaber

☼ the jake problem part 2

⭒ Jake hates you. Like really hates you, which wouldn’t be a problem if you weren’t dating Steven and Marc. But maybe, just maybe, Jake doesn’t hate you.

☾ @starryeyedstories

☼ talk deity to me

⭒ You’re an Egyptologist invited to the museum to give a talk to a group of school kids, and Steven might have a bit of a crush on you.

☾ @juneknight

☼ dozing

⭒ A man falls asleep on you during your bus ride to work.

☾ @januaryembrs

☼ i should have been there

⭒ Marc had always carried her with him, since they were small kids playing pirates in the yard, before things got messed up by grown up feelings and burdens. It's not until he sees her twenty years later, he realizes he should have saved her.

☾ @redeyerhaenyra

☼ sleeping beauty

⭒ After having sex with Jake, you both fall asleep in your flat. Only, it's not Jake that wakes up, it's Steven.

☾ @writefightandflightclub

☼ shadow of a doubt

⭒ marc was first. steven was second. khonshu’s never going to love you. …and you’re wondering if jake will ever get there at all.

☼ no fish were harmed in the making of this meet cute

⭒ You have a dilemma. You don’t want to sell the man any more fish. But you do want him to keep coming back to your shop

☾ @bits-and-babs

☼ chocolate

⭒ After weeks of pining for your coworker Steven Grant, sharing chocolate over a late shift causes sparks to fly.

☼ bumpy ride

⭒ The handsome man who you see on your commute to work every day is always on your mind.

☾ @spctrsgf

☼ cake

☾ @thatsthewrongwallcraig

☼ a night at the museum

⭒ After asking you out, Steven invites you to a private tour of the National Art Gallery.

☾ @thatredheadwriter

☼ on the mat

⭒ You’re Marc and Steven’s ‘guy in the chair’ for lack of a better term, helping them with all things techy. When you get injured trying to help on a mission, Marc decides you need to learn how to take care of yourself so it doesn’t happen again. Gym training with Marc turns into something else entirely.

☼ mine

⭒ The suit, the suit is amazing. Honestly it is. But you can’t help but be the slightest bit annoyed when it erases the marks you leave all over him. Lucky for you, Steven’s more than happy to let you have another go.

☼ outnumbered

⭒ You’re Layla’s adoptive sister, and Marc’s former lover. Being reunited with both of them stirs up some old feelings, but that gets pushed to the backburner when you’re severely injured during a fight. But things tend to boil over when they’re left too long, so what happens when you have some time alone with Marc.

☾ @ivystoryweaver

☼ spectre series

⭒ Marc Spector and his alters Steven and Jake have lost the love of their lives. They each try to move on, in their own way, but getting over you is the hardest thing they've ever faced. Marc starts to see you everywhere - he's haunted by your memory. No, literally, why are you sitting on the end of his bed? He believes in ancient deities, seeing how Jake still serves one as Moon Knight. But ghosts?

☾ @asimplearchivist

☼ first kiss

⭒ there was no possible way that you could have romantic feelings for steven. right?

☼ sad ending

⭒ you and jake enjoy having movie nights, but he has the habit of spoiling the endings for you. this time is different, though.

☼ speed dating

⭒ you're down in the dumps about the disheartening lack of prospective romantic partners interested in initiating a long-term relationship with you. your ever-helpful coworker amy decides to give you (and a highly interested would-be suitor) a nudge in the right direction—just not in the way you might expect.

☼ is that my shirt?

⭒ you and the boys have a set of rules. jake doesn’t like it when you break them.

☾ @luc-k-y

☼ stop looking at me like that part 2

☼ anything for you

☾ @campingwiththecharmings

☼ insomnia

⭒ Steven can't sleep and you, uh, help him out.

☾ @peterthepark

☼ each time you fall in love

⭒ you play mercenaries with marc. you play lovers with jake. you play house with steven. you suppose romance comes in all forms of their differing love for you.

☾ @ofstarsandvibranium

☼ to the rescue

⭒ showing up on Stevens date from the first episode

☾ @oddballwriter

☼ unexpected addition

⭒ Steven and Marc know about Jake's existence and they have been trying to get used to him and get to know him, and during a mission where they need help they found out Jake has been having like a long term relationship with the reader (who is Sekhmet's avatar)

☾ @sailorkamino

☼ hospital bed confessions

⭒ As long as Jake can remember he's only had Marc and Steven to protect - then you came into the picture. Jake is scared to admit just how much you mean to him until you're injured, then he can no longer hide his feelings.

☾ @angel-of-the-moons

☼ a rose under the moon

⭒ You've waited your whole life to meet your soulmate. You just didn't know your soulmate was so close by, all this time.

But...How the hell can you handle being thrown into a world full of gods and magic? You're just a shopkeeper! Why is your heart being tugged by three different threads?

☾ @psithurista

☼ stuck

⭒ You stop by Steven’s place one night after work. Somebody else answers his door.

☾ @reallyrallyauthor

☼ the coffee incident part 2 part 3

⭒ No coffee in the morning leads to a mystery for Marc, an apology from Jake, and guilt from Steven.

☼ paying your debt

⭒ Moon Knight saved your life, and now you're Marc Spector's glorified assistant. But when you pick him up one night after a fight, you get to feel the suit first hand, and what he keeps underneath it.

☼ free lunch

⭒ You're teaching Steven how to drive, but he’s so tense that you absolutely have to get him to relax first

☼ cupcake man

⭒ Jake helps his favorite bartender out w/ a problem they can’t solve themselves (which I like to imagine is Jake’s #1 all-time favorite hobby)

☼ bad girl

⭒ Jake has a smoking kink, and a way for you to indulge him without consequences.

☼ a friend

⭒ You and Marc Spector have a purely physical relationship. Both operating in society’s gray area, you try to avoid conflicts of interest. But when you’re hired to steal an artifact from a London museum, you wonder if even Marc himself knows all of his secrets.

☼ museum date

⭒ Marc gets set up on a blind date at an art museum

☼ slow songs

⭒ Your friend, Marc, pretends to be your boyfriend at a wedding, but is it pretend?

☼ here we go series

☾ @bit-dodgy-innit

☼ the shape of youniverse

⭒ A full blown AU of forging a life and family with a post-Khonshu Moon Boys that’s as heartfelt as it is filth.

☾ @the-little-ewok

☼ tilt part 2 part 3 part 4

⭒ Steven Grant wants to tell you the truth about why he missed your date, but it isn't Steven you meet...

hopefully all links work, let me know if not <3

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lavena · 9 months

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Since I am so incredibly desperate for tmnt fic recs, here I am supplying mine. All of these i HAVE READ AT LEAST 3 TIMES

pretty much all Mikey centric and jsyk every one I recommended I reread b4 posting this. Sorry If I repeat any, this took me over a week, college is kicking my butt and midterms are next week, kill me. If you have any you red please lmk either in comments or with rb I need the ficss guys please I am desperate.

On AO3

Train-wreck of thought by halogalopagost

A beautiful 2003 tmnt where Mikey is having trouble meditating and gets some tips from his dad and brothers, he struggles with his ADHD, he over comes it and turns out there is a lot more to this meditating than he thought. he intends to use it to his advantage.

The Legend of the Heiwa no Buki by abz_the_turtle

2012 Mikey is pure of heart and turns out that causes some problems for him, his brothers and a certain bother in blue from the future

exhaust trails through space by SpectrumWriting

2012 B team realizes they really need a break, after a fight between Leo and Donnie, B team pull a few favors and go to visit a few planets, look at some extraterrestrial inventions and get to see a festival of food. Each brother learns new things about each other and finally get to take a few deep breaths.

Surface Pressure by TheKeyBladeMaster1994

Mikey watched Encanto and something abut their family feels familiar. Honest to go so good, it is unfinished and only at 3 chapters but it is 32k words and by god if it isnt one of the best books I have read over 5 times already, featuring mikey being a helpful little brother and managing to stress his big brothers out in the proccess.

Pretend That I Never Left by redstingraven (sirimiri)

2003 Mikey gets taken into the Horizon Zero Dawn universe rather than the superpowered turtle universe in the SAINW episode. Positively glorious, he gets bashed and bruised and comes out the other end with an arrow sticking out of him.

All The Small Things by taizi @taizi

2012 Donnie gets deaged and Mikey gets to be a big brother. Positively adorable, Mikey is an enabler and the poor toaster will never be the same, plus just the right amount of angst to make me squeal.

Underdark by Nekotsuki

2003 Mikey and Leo and stuck in the sewers after a collapse, both are hurt and oh looky here it seems Leo has fainted and Mikey is panicking, it would be great if he could take a full breath to hyperventilate with.

We've been here all along by Taizi

Beautiful 2007 tmnt, Mike gets shot, worries about making Donnie abandon him, Casey says fuck that.

walk with open hands by taizi

Mikey can't get over his fathers death and knows his brothers cant get over it either, and he is going to do something about it, been if it almost costs him everything. Was originally 1 chapter, but a second chapter from Splinters POV makes everything gorgeous.

traveling so far to get there by taizi

different age turtles, 2012 universe, Mikey and Raph gets transported to a post-apocalypses time-line aptly called the after party, no one lives, but Mikey does manage to find himself a monkey companion and Raph really wishes his little brother and him would be back home. Little moment of Mikey and Donnie being twins that is positively adorable and I need more of it ASAP. Its 10k words but reads like 30 in the best way possible, like literally a must read!

Closer by Taizi

adorable human woodyangelo

Problem child by taizi

human AU, Mikey is going to give his big brothers a heart attack, he makes questionable friends, and it seems he has a lot of growing up to be doing

Things You Never Outgrow by taizi

Mikey might just have picked up some less than stellar habits from his family as a baby, and now its coming out to bite him in the butt as his brothers notice.

Know the world in yourself by taizi

Donatello is an aspiring Egyptologist, and close friends with part-time thief and sometimes-scoundrel Casey Jones, who pickpockets an ancient map of the fabled City of the Dead off a young man he stumbles across in the Casbah—a young adventurer, it turns out, and none other than the little brother Donatello hasn't seen in almost eight years

Small spaces by Taizi

After 2012 Mikey gets captured and held by the Kraang, it seems he might just have a new fear, his brothers are not happy about it.

While you're here enjoy the view by taizi

Cute little woodyangelo 2012. They have my heart

Sleepwalking by TheKeybladeMaster1994

Splinter wakes up in a cold sweat and notices that Mikey is missing, and it seems like a dark entity is after his littlest sons light, good thing its just a nightmare, right? A few nights later it seems that is not so. Only 4 chapters but has 30k words and is a positive joy to read, I hope it continues to update.

The Ultimate Weapon by TheKeybladeMaster1994

Mikey is pure of heart and just about everything knows it, including but not limited to an eldritch entity that he swears is just try to make his life hard no matter what it tells you.

Interrogation or Malpractice by Professor_Anxietree

2012 Mikey when he got captured by the triceritons, their mind reading machine doesn't do quite what was intended and it spells out pain and sufferings for the smallest of the Hamato clan. Its pretty much being over stimulated to the max, like your skin feels too tight and you can hear your nerons firing in your brain type stuff, beware if you have overstimulation.

Someone to Protect by Koalagriton

2012. Mikey's big bothers get captured by Hun and Mikey doesn't take it well, that's going to become Huns problem.

Flowers by intomyfireyoushallfall

Mikey meets Tang Shen

The shinobi's garden by taizi

buncha one shots that you have to read, you have to istg 66k words of nothing but amazing.

family sticks together, bruh by hellomyoldheart

Mikey (Bayverse) discovers online shopping and sends it to Aprils place, April gets a package addressed for Mikey O'neil

too bad, but its the life you lead by angelmichelangelo @angelmichelangelo

2k7my beloved. Mikey is having trouble at home, good thing this new cat he found, affectionately named Klunk, can help a little. You will cry, I cried, still have read it four times, but crying non the less, read the tags or it will hit you like a freight train

the dad diaries by angelmichelangelo

pepaw Ronin and the new babies, adorable and angst ( in the form of flashbacks) nuff said

a minute from home by taizi

bteam for the win, I cant get enough, baby don and mikey wonder off and survive 3 months, it changes them

I've been afraid of changing by taizi

2007 Mikey really hates his job, Donnie didn't get that, but now he does

Give up the ghost series by taizi

Mikey can see ghosts, and that means he can see his one and only dead brother too, donnie, it causes problems for eveyone around him. human AU

The Gauntlet by T33la

Mikey and Don have to take a leap of faith, good thing Mikey has complete trust in his big bros tech

Flipbook by T33la

the 2003 SAINW donnie boy planned just in case and mikey finds the first bit of the plan, talks happen

Chronicles of the Cretaceous by T33la

Mikey boy manages to befriend a T-rex because of course he does

Words to be Spoken by Mona_E_Lisa @mona-e-lisa

Soulmate Au with woodyangelo, its got angst, just not for the boys, nd holy shyt I need more

The Silver Sentry by Mona_E_Lisa

2003 Mikey gets a son, and he deffo has some problems with Splinter, and I love him more than words

2088 by Mona_E_Lisa

If you haven't read this you haven't lived and that's all I can say. What are you doing? go read it??? like asap, will change you. Its 6k and this post will still be here when you get back, get going now sho sho

A Tale of Spirits by unorthodoxx @unorthodoxx-page

ATLA x tmnt 2018, everyone thinks they are spirits, donnie boy isn't going to correct them, and mikey ends up malnourished, but it updates this sunday so GO Go Go asap, it great

turning over stone by angelmichelangelo

2012 mikey gets angry, and kami does it suck, but good thing his big brother has experience in dealing with it.

caught in the rip tide by angelmichelangelo

Mikey gets hurt, and it might just be leos fault. 2012 based on the season 4 episode broken food.

yolk by angelmichelangelo

Mikey can't take the fighting anymore, too bad it took wrecking a midnight breakfast for his brothers to notice.

december 18th: raise a glass by angelmichelangelo

Mikey turns 21, and they really should be winding down by now, but Donnie doesn't have the heart. technically tagged with 2012 and IDW, but could totally see it with 2007 if u ignore that raph is in japan

december 15th: a size too big by angelmichelangelo

2007 Mikey was supposed to be bac an hour ago, he is gonna be the death of Donnie I swear.

the Kappas constellation by angelmichaelangelo

bunch a one shots

Honestly just anything by angelmichelangelo or taizi, but you can see that with how often they show up in this list

FF.net

Its a cycle by GhostiesandGhoulies

Adorable 2007 Mikey being hurt while doing cowabunga car and his brothers looking after him

Clogged drain by Goblin cat KC

Horror, the poor boys were not ready for this one but I adore it. Nothing more I can say than they will have nightmares and all of them will have night lights.

Hero among them by oliviasbizzaremind

2007 gang gets a call after a rough night, its for cowabunga carl, so how exactly does this lady know Mikey's name? Mikey always was a bleeding heart.

If Wishes were Fishes by Taisi (this is also on A03 I believe I just found it on ff.net fist so i figured id share that here too)

Human AU, adorable must read, like I cant stress this enough, you haven't lived without this. And as a former foster kid, damn.

Mikey's truly awful, incredibly sucky, super hella bummer of a day by Orange4Days

Exactly what the title says and you will enjoy this boys suffering and eventual comfort.

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt fics #tmnt fic recs #tmnt fanfiction #tmnt fanfiction recs #fic recommendation #fic rec #mikey fanfics #mikey-centric #Michelangelo fics #Michelangelo #Michelangelo-centric #teenage mutant ninja turtles 2003 #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2007 #tmnt 2007 mikey #tmnt 2012 #tmnt idw

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hmslusitania · 2 years

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Unified theory of Indiana Jones and The Mummy? My interest has been piqued 🍿 👀

Okay so I think it goes without saying that these movies clearly take place in the same universe, just off the bat.

That said, we also know that several of the (unseen) previous generation of characters had careers that would've taken them to similar geographic areas -- notably Howard Carnahan and Abner Ravenwood, who were Egyptologists of roughly a similar age.

So, it would make complete sense to me if, at some point, they were contracted to work on the same project. Whether or not they got along, whether or not they worked well together, is immaterial. The important part is that they both brought their daughters. Now, according to the wikis for the respective franchises, Evelyn (Carnahan) O'Connell was born in 1903, and Marion Ravenwood was born in 1909, and young girls, as Marion would've been, tend to heavily imprint on older girls especially when they're stuck together in a camping situation. And I think Evy, a perpetual baby sister, would've jumped at the chance to get to be the cool older sister type friend.

They would've corresponded after that.

In 1925, Marion writes to Evy about her father's dashing new student who she's fallen hopelessly in love with (and an equally passionate disavowal of the man only a few months later).

In 1926, Evy writes back to tell Marion that she's been part of an expedition to help recover the site of Hamunaptra (leaving out the magic, because that would be just a shade too far; adding the fact she may not have found much treasure but she did find a husband in the post script -- prompting many more questions from Marion).

They write each other about Evy's journey to respectability as an archaeologist and Egyptologist, and her impassioned arguments with another young archaeologist out of the University of Chicago, who Evy pointedly refused to name in any of her letters out of disrespect (the nature of their academic disagreements is simple -- Evy's seen magic with her own eyes and brings a layer of credulity to her interpretation of sites that Indy just cannot fathom. Well. Not yet, anyway).

They write when Alex was born, when Marion moves to Nepal.

In 1933, Evy writes her about the Oasis at Ahm Shere, but she leaves out the part where she died and was resurrected, and the part where the entire oasis was sucked into the afterlife afterwards.

(In 1935, Indy sees Magic in India, and he thinks briefly of his continuing journal publication feud with the British-Egyptian Egyptologist E. O'Connell, and then he locks this information away in a part of his brain he does not touch lest he go mad.)

In 1936, Marion writes her about the search for the Ark, about her father's old student -- a professor now himself -- coming back into her life. She mentions the pit of snakes, being entombed, and the deaths of the Nazi bastards. She doesn't mention the magic, the actual Ark of the Covenant saving their asses. It would sound crazy, after all.

In 1937, they see each other in person for the first time in over a decade by chance at the Cairo Museum. This is before the events of the Last Crusade, so for the moment, Marion and Indy are more-or-less together and more-or-less happy about it. Rick and Evy are there for their standard work reasons, delivering some recently excavated artefacts.

At first, everything goes fine. Evy and Marion recognise each other, and as nearly life-long penpals tend to do, take a moment to remember how to speak to each other in person, but then they're thrilled for the opportunity to do so. The four of them agree to get dinner together and it's at dinner while they're talking about their work that Indy makes the connection between E. O'Connell, academic rival, and Evelyn O'Connell, and Evy makes the connection that Marion's "Indy" is actually that very same Henry Jones Jr who Evy's wanted nothing more than to knock senseless with the Book of Life for over a decade.

In the ensuing loud argument that nearly gets them thrown from the restaurant and during which Rick and Marion decide they're best friends now, both Evy and Indy accidentally reveal their hands as regards magic, archaeology, and the realities therein. They part dinner as wary allies.

The academic detente lasts just until Marion writes Evy about the dissolution of her relationship with Indy and concurrent birth of their son, and then the rivalry's back on.

Frankly, all of them prefer it this way.

(As an additional aside, while he was serving in WWI, Jonathan Carnahan met and befriended {""befriended""} an Australian nurse, who had the mixed fortune to lose all of her father's titled cousins during the war and returned home as the Honourable Miss Phryne Fisher)

#the ghost ship scribbles #indiana jones #the mummy #wilddragonflying #with the exception of checking birth years in the respective wikis #this is all just off the cuff #so if there's incorrect continuity don't @ me

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rudjedet · 2 years

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Scrolled through your blog to find the answer but might have missed it. You mentioned that the breaking-noses-off-statues-to-hide-race theory is demonstrably false. As not an Egyptologist, this is actually the first time I’ve heard that there’s evidence against that theory, so I’m curious. (When you have time) would you mind talking about what that evidence is?

By far most statues, reliefs and paintings still have their noses

Iconoclastic behaviour, from ancient Egyptian natives or other/later groups, is well-known and documented

Sticky-outy stone bits are fragile and missing noses/ears/limbs are a well-known feature of (ancient) statuary the world over, not just ancient Egyptian ones

It's a conspiracy theory for a reason: there's zero evidence that there has been a concerted effort to this effect, whereas the origins of the conspiracy theory itself are clear

If there have been racist archaeologists that deliberately broke off a nose here or there to hide more prominently Black features (which, sure, is a possibility, I've never denied that), they have left no evidence of that matter for reasons I'm sure you can imagine, so we don't actually have any way of knowing which, if any, statues would have been defaced for that reason

But even if 5 is true, this still doesn't mean there's a conspiracy among archaeologists to do this across the board. And if there was we are complete fucking shit at it, if you look at all the statues that have remained intact in the nose-area

Don’t treat it as a legit “theory”, it’s a conspiracy theory

Addendum: In this case the burden of proof is not on Egyptologists, it’s on the people touting it to provide supporting arguments and evidence, but they can’t, they just yell “racism!!!” and rely on people’s kneejerk response of not wanting to be thought of as/be racist. However, Egyptologists/archaeologists will keep refuting this because it’s unfortunately ingrained in lay people’s awareness as “yeah sounds legit”, despite being, ironically, pretty racist.

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kenobihater · 2 years

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Jonathan in The Mummy script vs The Mummy film

I’ve had Jonathan Carnahan on the brain lately and read the script for the movie and took note of the differences between the script and the final film. There were enough differences that I don’t think it was a waste of time at all, and I was fascinated by three little Jonathan tidbits in particular, which I’ll cover in chronological order as they appear in the script. The first is that his opening line is different! His first exchange with Evie and his first words in the movie are as follows:

EVELYN: Have you no respect for the dead?

Jonathan cackles in the manner only the truly drunk can for a moment before slinging an arm around the corpse.

JONATHAN: Of course I do! But sometimes, I’d rather like to join them.

So, that’s the movie, and that exchange does happen in the script, but it happens directly after his “new” first lines.

EVELYN: You- you...!

JONATHAN: Drunkard? Fool? Rat-bastard? Please call me something original.

And then their “respect for the dead” exchange follows! I just thought his snark was funny and very in character. Also, in the script in that scene it describes Evie as removing a cigarette Jonathan stuck into the corpse’s mouth, which is gross and funny but also confirms Jonathan is a smoker.

The next interesting tidbit is this exchange in the scene where Jonathan and Rick are interrogating Beni right before the Egyptologist gets drained. Beni knees Rick in the balls and escapes out the window, and there’s an exchange that isn’t in the final film.

Jonathan cringes.

JONATHAN: That looked rather painful.

O’CONNELL: (wincing) Ya know, ever since I met you, my luck has been for crap.

JONATHAN: Yes, I know, I do that to people.

This lil exchange is so fascinating to me. I read it as Jonathan being self-deprecating and almost guilt-ridden over... what? Something in his past? An occurrence where someone made his acquaintance and their life fell apart and he blamed himself for it as some sort of bad-luck charm? Also, he says people, like this has happened to more than one person who has met him! I’m fascinated by this rare glimpse of guilt from a character who is a pretty unapologetic thief and general drunken charlatan!

Finally, the last bit is a whole extra scene that was cut from the film for streamlining purposes as far as I can tell. I don’t really feel like re-formatting the whole scene rn so I encourage you to go read the script (control f and search for INT. CATACOMBS - NIGHT if you just wanna read this particular scene), but I’ll summarize in brief as well.

Basically it’s a missing scene after Evie is taken by Imhotep and they escape into the sewers. In it, they decide their next move and Ardeth explains that Evie is going to be a human sacrifice. This pulls Jonathan up short, and he goes from already concerned and upset to shocked that his sister’s life is on the line. I like this scene because it shows Jonathan truly cares about his sister enough to drop his superficial flippancy he displays throughout most of the film. I understand it was cut because it slows down the pacing a bit but I do have to admit the wake up call Jonathan seems to experience is a nice bit of character development.

And that’s everything! I hope I’ve entertained you and possibly encouraged you to read the script (which is MILES better than the novelization)!

#jonathan carnahan #the mummy #the mummy 1999 #the mummy meta #len's meta #len speaks #rick o'connell #evelyn carnahan #ardeth bay

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heartofstanding · 6 months

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Hi! In one of your tags you muttered against Stacy Schiff’s “bio” on Cleopatra. Could you tell me why you dislike it so much? Thanks a lot!!

To be completely transparent, I read Stacy Schiff's Cleopatra: A Life over 10 years ago and I got rid of my copy so this is all going on my memory or the goodreads review I wrote at the time. To be brief: it's bad history and I found the writing style god-awful.

At the time, I found Schiff's writing a slog to read, overly "literary", sometimes to the point of obfuscation. There was one sentence I read where I stared at it, trying to make sense of it, before giving up and moving on.

Schiff is not a classicist or an Egyptologist, her work shows her jumping all over time and place - Cleopatra, the Salem Witch Trials, Vera Nabokov, revolutionary America, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry - and for me, an author or historian who shows such massive leaps in her work is not going to have any more than a basic grasp of her subject's context, and this is really important stuff to know if you're going write a book about it. Indeed, she gives a lot context for the Roman side of things (which, judging from reviews, she oversimplifies or gets wrong), but little for Cleopatra's own dynasty - despite claiming she's trying to tell Cleopatra's side of the story. I would've thought that began with grounding Cleopatra in her own context, not Rome's.

Schiff is essentially writing popular history with a literary bent. She doesn't cite her sources properly - i.e. her version of citing her sources is to include a notes section where, if you feel like you need a source she says, you find the page number in the notes and skim to see her reference or reasoning. I didn't even realise she had included a notes section until I reached the end of the book. She also writes speculatively about things we just have no idea about ("Cleopatra must have felt this", "probably this happened", and "we know Cleopatra was a virgin when she met Caesar because of this Margaret Atwood quote about Jezebel being considered a slut because she was wearing makeup").

Schiff's overall goal was to "rescue" Cleopatra from centuries of smears. To a degree, I find that odd since Cleopatra is one of the most celebrated queens in all of history - which is not to deny that she has been the victim of misogynistic smears, both ancient and modern, but that she's also been the subject of a metric fuckton of feminist reclamations. Schiff's defence of Cleopatra ends up going on about how awful her detractors were and pumping Cleopatra up as a woman who is literally perfect and then scrambling to try and explain how Cleopatra could've lost so badly. The tags you mentioned were in reference to a memorable part in her introduction where Schiff defends Cleopatra's decision to kill her siblings as "Herod did it too" which... no. That's not a defence.

I also read Schiff's book on the Salem Witch Trials and, uh, that was also really not good.

#long post #asks #bunniesandbeheadings

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stackslip · 8 months

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tell us all about mormonism

since there's way too much to talk about and i am rn in someone's dms talking about the link between mormons and multi-level-marketing i'm gonna focus on a certain aspect that i find absolutely fascinating and that's the history of the book of abraham. batshit stuff

so most people know that joseph smith published the book of mormon in 1830, claiming to have supposedly met an angel called moroni who led him to ancient golden plates that recounted the real life, absolutely true, no bullshit story about how ancient hebrews travelled to america and created their own civilization and stories there (and how indigenous people today are supposedly the descendants of jews settled in america who were punished for their sins as a people with dark skin. i wish i were joking). if you didn't now you know and it's worth reading about bc it's a fucking wild story!

the thing that MOST non mormons don't know though, is that the book of mormon wasn't his only supposed translation of an ancient text that gave religious revelations to the world. in 1835 some guy had been touring around the usa with some ancient egyptian mummies, artefacts and papyrii, exhibiting them for a pretty penny. joseph happened upon these papyrii and immediately claimed to its owners that he could translate these, and bought them and the mummies. seven years later, he published what he claimed to be a translation of these papyri, which were supposedly written by.... the prophet abraham. yes, that abraham. these papyri written by an ancient hebrew prophet just happaned to be on tour and joe smith got a miraculous hunch that they were previously-undiscovered biblical writings with all the authority that goes with it. nice! and what a coincidence that this is all happening while interest in ancient egypt is at an all time high in europe and north america, as the rosetta stone is slowly being translated for the first time!

so how did joseph smith translate these, considering he himself had little to no factual knowledge of hieroglyphs? well, he claimed that the book of abraham was written "reformed egyptian" (if you ask any modern egyptologist they will shoot you on the spot) and over the next few years, he not only published a book of grammar of "reformed egyptian". here's some parts of the notebook he used as basis

like, you gotta give it to joseph smith. he commits to the grift 200%. he could have like, just claimed to magically translate these from a stone in a hat like he did with the golden plates, but instead he actually wrote a book of grammar to a made up language from these papyri and then published the book of abraham. he was a hell of a prolific writer and supposed translator.

he also reproduced portions of the illustrations of the papyrus, and explained them in biblical terms, such as below

now fun fact about me, the first time i saw this i laughed so hard i started crying. my grandparents' old home have an old funerary papyrus reproduction in their corridor which looks very close to this, and as a kid i was obsessed with ancient egypt. so i took a look at the VERY obvious osiris being discussed very seriousy as abraham, and the VERY fake anubis described as........... a slave............. because he's black let's be honest.................. and i fucking cry laughed so hard i actually woke a relative.

so like, this is the kind of shit you should expect from the supposed book of abraham. the papyri themselves were sold again after joseph smith's death and were subsequently lost, but to be clear: this is an ordinary funerary papyrus. it has absolutely fuck all to do with abraham and reformed egyptian is not a thing. joseph smith's source is that he made it the fuck up. any serious ancient egypt scholar that had studied the subject--including LDS ones!!!--agree that there is absolutely NOTHING tying the og text and illustrations of the papyri to whatever the hell joseph claimed they contained. and i mean, at the time you can understand WHY it went through. knowledge of egyptian language at the time was still sparse and limited to few scholars. and again, joe committed the FUCK to the bit.

with all that said, what did the book of abraham supposedly contain? well..... by some magical coincidence, it contained a whole lot of answers to theological questions that were asked to joseph since the book of mormon had been published that he could not simply magically answer without a supposed "proof". he was prophet but there were still whole aspects of mormon theology and cosmology that he could not simply pull out of his ass claiming heavenly father had bestowed it to him. he could do that at least part of the time, but considering how much his reputation as a prophet rode upon the book of mormon he probably knew people wanted "solid" proof (aka several guys swear they saw him handle golden sheets, which means the whole angel story and translation have gotta be legit right). so the book of abraham very coincidentally contains a whole bunch of explanations about concepts such as the predestination, the eternal nature of souls (aka our souls existed before incarnation of earth and our choices in the pre-existence affect what happens to us on earth, which has dire fucking implications for victims of abuse, disabled people and especially black people), and the whole "god was originally a human who became god and you can all become gods and get your own planets" shtick that's legit the most unique aspect of mormonism and part of why evangelicals fucking hate mormons and do not call them christians.

today the mormon church has recently FINALLY quietly agreed that the book of abraham's original translation is hot garbage, but many argue that joseph smith simply used the papyri as a catalyst for writing down the original texts that were lost. which is a bullshit excuse, and the book of abraham is currently being quietly shelved and taught a lot less in seminary and byu. though tbh i think it ties with the mormon church's hope to assimilate more into christianity and quietly divest itself of its more.... unique teachings (not the racism or authoritatian structure though).

#eli talks

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throwawaydracula-blog · 2 years

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Bram Stoker and the New Woman

Some thoughts on the 10th of August entry re: the “New Woman”, and Bram Stoker’s presentation of the idea. Also spoilers for another Stoker story, The Jewel of Seven Stars. As in, I am going to go through the entire plot.

You still OK with reading spoilers?

Yes?

Then let’s continue.

The Jewel of Seven Stars was written with Victorian Egyptomania in mind. An Egyptologist discovers the mummy of an Egyptian queen called Tera. This queen seems to have the ability to astral project into other beings, such a mummified cat-- and also the Egyptologist’s daughter. A full possession does not seem to occur until quite late in the story; Tera as influence over the daughter, but not full control. The interesting thing is, the daughter-- Margaret-- does not seem to particularly mind all this, and neither does her father. Also interesting is the later revelation that Margaret and Tera are nearly physically identical. Margaret’s fiancé is increasingly disturbed by her behavior-- she openly displays a range of emotions in a way that her fiancé deems erratic, but are arguably appropriate to, say, an ancient queen who very much wants to live again and isn’t sure everything is going to go well. She becomes much more assertive. Her attitude towards her fiancé becomes aloof, distant-- at times even disdainful. She might-- terrifying thought for the fellow!-- not need him.

The Egyptologist and Margaret (and Tera) decide to go ahead and try to physically resurrect Tera, whose body is quite literally perfectly preserved-- to the point where the guys start to get excited over it, and Margaret insists on covering it up, swooping and reclaiming control. Now, there are two different endings to the story-- the original 1903 version, and the 1912 version. And that’s where things get interesting.

In the original ending, the experiment goes horribly wrong and everyone but the narrator (Margaret’s fiancé) dies. But there are circumstances that imply Tera has escaped-- the New Woman, who ironically is literally an ancient woman, is ultimately victorious. In the second edition released years later, the experiment still fails, but Margaret survives to marry the narrator, while Tera fails to come back to life. This was a much more palatable ending to conservative Victorian readers (female as well as male) for a number of reasons-- not only is it generically happier (except for Tera), but the status quo is preserved. It turns out a non-English emancipated woman is not stronger than Victorian British society and gender norms in this second ending.

Other themes in the book overtly challenge social values at the time, including European exceptionalism; the Egyptologist is fairly certain that the Egyptians were just as scientifically advanced as Victorian age Europeans, if not more so, utilizing radium and electric lighting, which was just starting to go mainstream. Then there’s the matter of Christianity and monotheism in general. A passage deleted from the second edition runs,

The whole possibility of the Great Experiment to which we were now pledged was based on the reality of the existence of the Old Forces which seemed to be coming in contact with the New Civilisation…If there were truth at all in the belief of Ancient Egypt then their Gods had real existence, real power, real force…If then the Old Gods held their forces, wherein was the supremacy of the new?

To me, it’s easy to read that last line very broadly; it’s not just Christianity’s ‘new God’ the narrator is worrying about, it’s deep insecurity about the Victorian presupposition that the new naturally conquered the old—something that was part of the mandate of imperialism.

It’s easy for modern readers to forget the battlecry of the Victorian age was ‘Progress!’. Progress as defined within a patriarchal and Eurocentric worldview which most of us would now consider quite regressive. The passage of time is funny like that. The original edition of The Jewel of Seven Stars derives some of its horror from the idea that European civilization was just playing catch-up to ancient Egypt, and that the phenomenon of the New Woman was not a passing fad, it was an idea stretching back thousands of years; but this phenomenon could not be dismissed as merely primitive decadence in the ending where Tera succeeds, literally killing Margaret and figuratively killing the model of Victorian womanhood in the process. Or maybe ‘killing’ is the wrong word, given Margaret’s uncanny resemblance to Tera; maybe Margaret and Tera were always the same person.

It interests me what Stoker decided to change. He was writing to earn a living (the theatre business could be unreliable), and given the underwhelming critical response to the original story, it’s possible he hoped a version of the story less challenging to Victorian sensibilities would sell better-- not that it did him much good, as he died the year it was published. Stoker was not celebrating the New Woman, but the original ending implies that she’s inevitable, and it’s the new world that has to conform to her, not the other way around. Given that Stoker generally presented himself as a bog-standard self-censoring conformist but palled around with transgressive queer artists like Walt Whitman and even a post-exile Oscar Wilde... I wish we could pick his brain about this. It would have been interesting to see what he would have written if he had been free from social pressure. In a letter to Walt Whitman-- a letter full of infatuation that he all but begs Whitman to burn if Whitman doesn’t like it, and was composed on Valentine’s Day, 1876-- Bram Stoker wrote,

You have shaken off the shackles and your wings are free. I have the shackles on my shoulders still — but I have no wings.

So sometimes I wonder about Dracula, too, what Stoker would have written if he thought it wouldn’t negatively impact his career. Considering that the implication that the count has been feeding on Jonathan only appears in the 1899 American edition of the book and not the 1897 British edition... well, I think it’s worth pondering.

#dracula daily

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scouts-mockingbird · 5 months

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Share your thoughts on a mummy musical

Like I said, I'll talk about this with very little provocation. Y'all know I love writing imaginary musicals.

I think you could really go wild on the sets, creating something that really looks like an old school film set, but that moves and evolves with the scenes.

2. We open on Ancient Egypt, with Evie singing the Backstory about Imhotep and his girlfriend (sorry I should look up spelling but I'm lazy) with the story playing out behind a screen as shadows until the screen comes up, revealing Evie sitting in the library where she's supposed to be working, but she's just reading.

3. She gets fired and told that she'll never be a real Egyptologist because she thinks of things like a storyteller, or worse, a treasure hunter, rather than a historian. Cut to her solo (Librarian) where she sings about what she wants to be

4. She meets up with her brother at a bar. He wants to know if this thing he found (stole) is valuable. She reveals that it is, because it's related to the secret treasure city she was JUST singing about

5. Cut to Rick, he's in jail. He explains how he got there by dramatically recounting his tale of woe (Days in the Desert) about how he found the city to try to gain sympathy from the crowd to save himself from hanging, only to have Evie and Johnathan barge in and save him at the last second.

6. The next song starts with them beginning their adventure (Adventure Song) where they all talk about how they're feeling about going on an adventure. Johnathan doesn't want to but he likes money. Rick is interested in the cute librarian and doesn't want her to die, even though he's hesitant to go back to the place where he almost died. Evie is excited to finally prove herself.

7. They arrive at the city and have to fight it out with the competition, and eventually find The Book of the Dead, which they sing about (Book of the Dead).

8. That night, they celebrate their find, and Evie gets a bit drunk, singing a reprise of "Librarian" that Rick joins her in, revealing his admiration for her adventurous spirit and ability to roll with the punches.

9. The next day, one of the competition goads Evie about not being a real Egyptologist and asking her why she even came (Adventure Song, Reprise) which builds and builds until Evie, in a moment of madness, reads from the book to prove what she knows.

10. The mummy is rising, chaos onstage. The song integrates themes from the earlier musical numbers, especially Adventure Song and Librarian. Ardeth runs onstage, interrupting the music and dragging the main characters away as the sandstorm rages, and in the distance, the face of Imhotep looms over them.

End of Act One.

#The Mummy #the mummy 1999 #Writing Imaginary Musicals

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panda-writes-kpop · 1 year

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Egyptologist! JiU - Oh. My. Ra!

A/N: Hi guys, girls, and non-binary pearls! Hope you're well. 💖 I'd like to dedicate this to the talented and lovely @dark-night-insomniac 🫶 Thank you for being so supportive of me. I love all of your comments and reblogs! Your writing is stellar as well, and I'm always looking forward to what you write next. 🥹

TW: Mention of dead bodies (brief), JiU is as cheesy as ever <3, supernatural themes, mummies, an animated corpse, slight horror themes(?), loosely based on Moonknight in the Marvel Universe

Summary: Being on a digsite in Egypt with your lover has its ups and downs. The 'up' is that you're near JiU, and the 'down' is that you find out a very unique quirk that JiU has via an attack on your digsite.

♡ Masterlist ♡

"Can you hand me the shovel?"

"Why, you got a body to bury?" You joke before gently handing JiU the shovel.

"No, my love, but we may have a body to uncover here."

"JiU-ah, do you have to call me that in front of our co-workers?" You mutter as you become visibly embarrassed.

"Oh, so you don't want me to call you sweet names?" She looks up from the dig site for a moment as you shake your head.

"That's not what I meant-"

"Good, dearest, because I want to call you every name under the moon and stars as long as you're mine." JiU winks, and you fail to hold back a squeal.

"Ah, you're so embarrassing to be around, JiU!" You huff as she chuckles before turning back to the dig site.

"I could use a hand, Y/N, if you're not too busy being flustered."

"I'm on it!" You call out before grabbing the last shovel and joining JiU in digging.

Although Egypt wasn't your dream destination for a getaway with your lover, you had to make do with what your job required of you. Besides, that's how you and JiU met in the first place.

"Hey, fresh meat, get over here!" Your new boss hollers at you and a much younger, much more idealistic version of yourself run towards them.

"Yes?"

"You're gonna be with her until I figure out what to do with you." The boss points at a woman in the distance before slapping you on the back.

"Are you going to introduce me to-" You look back to see that your boss is already gone. "Okay, I guess I'm on my own for this one."

You take a deep breath, but your nerves fail to settle as you try to navigate toward the woman that was pointed out to you. A million possibilities go through your head, and almost all of them end with her hating your guts until the end of time.

As you carefully approach the dig site, you do your best not to scare the woman as you wave to get her attention. Her pink hair makes her stick out in the best way possible, and the smile she sends your way scares off the nerves and anxieties floating around you.

"Are you the recruit?" She gently asks.

"Yeah, I am."

"I figured. You look like a lost puppy out here."

You look away in shame, which causes JiU to immediately backtrack.

"It's not a bad thing, though! I got lost on my first day. It happens to the best of us, I promise."

Her warm smile returns, and you do your best to muster up one to give back to her.

"Is there anything that I can help with?" You cautiously ask, and JiU pauses for a moment.

"Hmm… Well, for today, you can just stand there and observe what I do throughout the day. Tomorrow, I'll show you the ropes. Does that sound good?"

"I like that plan."

"Y/N, honey, are you going to dig at the same spot all day, or do you want to take a break?"

"Ack, sorry!" You drop the shovel as you realize that you've been daydreaming again.

It's hard not to daydream when your reality seems so unreal.

JiU offers you her hand, and you take it as she leads you away from the dig site.

"Thanks for that, JiU. I spaced out again." You say as she shakes her head.

"You're adorable, you know?"

"Thanks, babe." You mumble as she pulls you into a tent.

You didn't realize that you were sweating until a bead of sweat fell down your face.

I wouldn't expect anything less from this weather or the climate we're in.

You quickly wipe it up before grabbing two water bottles from a nearby cooler. You toss one to JiU, and she blows you a quick kiss before digging in a large bag.

"What did you pack for lunch?" You ask before taking a seat on a lawn chair.

"That's for me to know, and for you to find out!" She teases, and you sigh before relaxing into the chair.

"As long as it isn't burnt, I'm fine."

"You think my cooking is that bad?" JiU looks at you with puppy dog eyes, and you feel like you've kicked a puppy when you look into her eyes.

"Of course not, sweetheart. I'm really hungry, and I'm sure that whatever you make is very good and very edible."

JiU smiles before handing you a sandwich.

"You added everything I like… you really are the best, JiU!" You exclaim before taking a big bite of your sandwich.

She giggles before nibbling on her own sandwich.

"What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't make you what you like?"

"Still mine, either way." You say between bites.

"And I thought that I was the cheesy one, Y/N." JiU smiles as you shake your head.

"I think your dad jokes and corny pick-up lines rubbed off on me."

"My pick-up lines are not corny!" JiU defends herself, and you laugh in response.

"You're not going to defend your dad jokes?"

"Because they are an excellent form of comedy!"

"Keep telling yourself that, JiU. I'm sure it'll come true one day." You smirk before finishing your sandwich.

"Hmph!" She turns her nose away from you, and you sigh before standing up.

"I love you, JiU-ah, with all of my heart. I would never do something that would hurt you." You endearingly say before pulling JiU into your arms.

It's her turn to be flustered as you gently tilt her face toward yours with one of your hands.

"See? Isn't that better, darling?" You sweetly laugh as JiU holds onto you for dear life.

"I love you too." She gives you a warm hug, and you melt into her arms.

If only we could stay like this for the rest of time…

You're interrupted by the sound of footsteps, and you hear JiU sigh as you step away from her.

One of your newest recruits ran into the tent with no hesitation at all.

"JiU! Y/N! You have to see this!" They say before waving you towards the exit of the tent.

You eye JiU as she nods at them.

"We should see what's up." JiU turns towards the young recruit. "Lead the way."

Ah, the joys of running a dig site with the woman you love most in the world…

"Come on! It's just this way!" They shout, and you and JiU follow in close pursuit.

"What do you think it is? Did someone get hurt?" You ask with concern, and JiU shudders.

"I hope not. Let's just hope that they found something exciting… you always remember your first dig, right?" She looks at you for affirmation, and you nod.

"Yeah, but you were the one who made that so memorable." You shyly admit as the three of you come to a stop.

"Y/N, you're too sweet for your own good." JiU says before the young digger points at one of the dig sites.

"We found a sarcophagus… but it was open when we fully dug it up!"

"Really? Let me and Y/N take a closer look." JiU says, and you offer them a warm smile.

"Take an early lunch, okay? You've earned it." You watch them run off, and you turn and walk with JiU towards the ancient coffin.

"How old do you think it is?" You ask as you cautiously approach the sarcophagus.

"From a first glance, it has to date back to at least the 3rd dynasty of Egypt."

"That doesn't tell me much." You mutter as JiU pulls on a pair of gloves.

"You want to take a closer look?"

"Not really. These things always gave me the creeps." You shudder as you look up at the sky. "Is it me, or did the sky get darker?"

"It's definitely you." JiU says without skipping a beat.

"Thank you, dear, I really appreciate the comfort and support." You sigh as you rub your arms.

It definitely wasn't this cold before… We were sweating a few moments ago. What is going on?

"I'm going to take a look inside," JiU announces, and you shake your head.

"I don't think that's a good idea. Look how dark it is!" You yell while pointing at the pitch-black sky.

What. The. Fuck.

"Y/N, I think you're-" JiU pauses as she looks up. "Oh my, it really is dark!"

"Thank you for coming back to reality, JiU! It was midday a few minutes ago, and now it's completely dark." You huff as JiU brushes some sand off of her.

"Maybe it's just a bad storm or something-"

"-in Egypt? Are you being serious right now?" You exclaim as her head snaps to you.

"Y/N-"

"No, I'm not losing it."

"Don't turn around." JiU says with a grim look on her face.

You immediately snap your head in that direction, and you scream as JiU shoves you behind her.

The mummy that should be very dead is very not dead and is standing about six feet from where JiU is. It points at the sarcophagus before growling in a low tone at JiU.

"Honey, what is that thing?" You softly mutter.

"Close your eyes." She mumbles.

"What? Why would I-"

"I don't want to blind you with my brightness." Her warm smile is truthful, and in this moment, you have no choice but to trust her.

"I'm trusting you, JiU." You close your eyes, and for good measure, you place a hand over your eyes.

"You're adorable, my love." She says before pressing a kiss to your temple.

You sigh as you hear JiU walk away from you. The mummy growls again, and you heat JiU sigh softly.

"Your master never learns, does he?" JiU scolds the creatures, and you hear its footsteps shuffle towards her.

Master? What is she talking about?

A body drops to the ground, and you cringe at the sound.

"You didn't think I was that weak, did you, sweetheart?"

You immediately uncover your eyes when you hear JiU's sweet voice. You gasp as you absorb her new clothing and hairstyle.

"JiU-ah, your clothes and hair… you look like a goddess!" You exclaim as she shyly chuckles.

"Well, that's kind of the point." She shrugs as you raise an eyebrow at her.

"I think you have some explaining to do."

"How does dinner sound?" JiU suggests.

"Like a plan, darling."

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tanadrin · 11 months

Text

Sha’re’s funeral litany

So I was curious about a scene in “Forever in a Day,” when Daniel Jackson is speaking a funeral litany over the grave of Sha’re, because it’s an extended depiction of an alien language--which is surprisingly rare in Stargate SG-1, especially in the early seasons, and especially for a language that is not Goa’uld or Ancient. The former is totally invented, and the latter is just randomly-mangled Latin words, but the language of Abydos, where Sha’re is from and where she is being buried, is supposedly closely related to ancient Egyptian.

The litany is below; I have done my very best to transcribe the Abydonian portions using IPA.

I speak for Sha’re, who can no longer speak for herself.

/nəˈdiduweɪ ˈguɾaχ nəˈjirjuweɪ ˈmusoreɪja/

I have spoken no lies, nor acted with deceit.

/ˈjanaχ saˈpuwu ˈʃureɪ jɛˈseɪdeɪ ˈnuteɪ ˈjirjunav sɛˈʃɛɹunu/

I was once possessed by a demon who did these things against my will.

/ˈjuwa jɛˈseɪdeɪ ˈbrɐjiv maˈnuten nəˈneɪweɪ ˈjasfeɪ/

The demon is gone, and now I am without sin.

/diˈja piˈrateɪ aˈsaku ˈjeɪru/

Grant me a place in your blessed dwelling.

If my heart weighs more than a feather my soul still contains sin. If not, may my soul join the god.

By the trial of the Great Scales, thy heart is light. Thy soul has been found true.

Two things immediately stand out in this scene: one, of course, is the trial of the feather, which is taken from the Book of the Dead. The other is a quote from the Solar Litany, also from the Book of the Dead:

Homage to you, O ye gods of the Dekans in Anu, and to you, O ye Hememet-spirits in Kher Aha, and to thee, O Unti, who art the most glorious of all the gods who are hidden in Anu, O grant thou unto me a path whereover I may pass in peace, for I am just and true; I have not spoken falsehood wittingly, nor have I done aught with deceit.

Budge transliterates the bolded portion thus: nuk āq ȧn t'eṭ-ȧ ḳer em reχ-ȧ ȧn ȧri-ȧ sep sen. I don’t know how that would be transcribed by modern Egyptologists, because Budge uses <ȧ> where modern transcriptions sometimes use <j> and sometimes use <y>; ditto <χ> for Budge vs. modern <ḫ> and <ẖ>. All I can say is, it’s pretty clearly not the basis for any of the Abydonian phrases.

It’s not Ancient Egyptian, but it’s actually a pretty good approximation of the sounds of ancient Egyptian, at least in its Egyptological pronunciation. Accounting for Michael Shanks’/Daniel Jackson’s North American accent, where [r] is rendered [ɹ], and the closest approximations of [e] are going to be [eɪ] or [ɛ], depending on if the syllable is open or closed, I might transcribe the underlying theoretical Abydonian as

nediduwe guraχ nejirjuwe musoreja

janaχ sapuwu ʃure jesede nuter jirjunaf seʃerunu

juwa jesede brojif manuten nenewe jasfe

dija pirate asaku jeru

#stargate sg-1 #conlanging #word boundaries are total conjecture obvs #would be super interested in seeing the original script given to shanks #i think only a handful have been published #and 'forever in a day' is not one

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 4 months

Text

By: Benjamin Radford

Published: Jan 19, 2024

A few years ago I was asked by an author to review his book, and it contained a discussion of the pyramids at Ghiza. I gave him the following feedback:

“You have a big red herring argument at the bottom of p. 36: ‘not a single group has been able to successfully erect even a scaled-down’ pyramid…. ‘even the skeptical community should be able to build an exact replica…’ This is seriously flawed reasoning, and you repeat this error four or five times. The burden of proof is on those making the extraordinary claim (‘aliens did it’) not the ordinary claim (‘ancient Egyptians did it).’ By your logic, geologists who counter creationist claims about the Grand Canyon would have to spend billions of dollars divert a river over a plain to prove that it was created over millennia by water erosion instead of created that way by God some 4,000 years ago.”

I added that researchers in fact have a pretty good idea of how the pyramids were built. The fact that none of them have (or have tried to) build a replica of the Great Pyramids doesn’t logically mean they are wrong.

[ The author deciding whether or not to build a full-scale replica of the Great Pyramids. ]

The idea of replicating a controversial event or project to test its validity sounds simple in theory. For example some people claim that the Egyptian pyramids were made (or designed) by aliens or ancient astronauts. The (ahistorical) assumption is that people at the time didn’t have the intelligence or technology to move the stones and build a pyramid shape.

Since the pyramids were built around 2560 BC there are no photographs or depictions of them being created, though in 2015 papyrus records were found of pyramid construction tools, and legions of pyramid builders’ graves were found in 2010, for example. Egyptologists have a pretty good idea of where the rocks were quarried and how they were cut and moved, but doubters are fond of noting that scientists have never actually replicated the pyramids. They claim that skeptics or scientists must build an entire pyramid to prove how it could have been done, using materials and tools of that era.

This seems like a reasonable challenge until you realize why such an effort would never be done—not because it can’t be done but because it would be impractical. Duplicating the great Ghiza pyramid would take many years and cost tens of millions of dollars. Who’s going to pay for it? It would also be pointless, since such a replication experiment would not be valid unless you used tens of thousands of workers (estimate range from 15,000 to 40,000) and spent a decade or more building it (as the original did). If some eccentric billionaire wants to fund it he or she should feel free, but scientists recognize it as an enormous cost and effort just to disprove some wild theories about aliens—which it wouldn’t do anyway.

Replicating 9/11

A similarly misguided idea got notoriety in May 2015 when a man named Paul Salo launched a crowdfunding project which, he claimed, would prove once and for all whether the conspiracy theories about the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks are true or not. On his Indiegogo campaign Salo wrote: “Many people want to know more about 9-11. We are like a Mythbusters for September 11th. It’s an important project for many reasons. Many people doubt various details of 9-11. As the world has changed our trust in government and media has declined significantly. We want to see for ourselves. We don’t need people to guide our thinking. In this project we will recreate 9-11 to the best of our ability given the funds raised. Our ultimate goal is a fully loaded 767 and a similar structure to the WTC. We will crash the fully loaded (with fuel) plane (complete with black box) into the building using autopilot at 500 MPH.”

Salo aimed to test the widely-challenged (in conspiracy circles anyway) claim that jet fuel can burn hot enough to sufficiently weaken a building’s steel structure that it collapses—instead of, for example, the Twin Towers coming down due to hidden explosives. While Salo’s scheme to duplicate the Twin Towers attack had a simple and populist appeal, actually pulling it off as a valid scientific experiment would be incredibly difficult and expensive, if not impossible. For a real science experiment you need to control for variables that could affect the results; in this case there are many variables including size and weight of the plane, the building type, and so on.

Salo promised that “You will be able to see for yourself what happens under these extreme circumstances. I’m not sure which country we will purchase the aircraft and building but it doesn’t really matter much.” Actually Salo would find when talking to engineers that it matters greatly where the building is, since building codes vary wildly by country and region. Buildings in earthquake-prone regions are built differently (and able to sustain greater structural damage without collapsing) than those built elsewhere. Variations in construction materials will also complicate comparisons. Each building’s architecture is different, and will not necessarily react the same way to the same structural damage. In order for the experiment to be valid, he would need to build an exact replica of the Twin Towers; not just any tall building will do, since the load-bearing structures vary from building to building.

He planned to “recreate as best as we can” the circumstances of the World Trade Center attacks. The problem is that “as best as we [that is, he] can” would leave an enormous margin of error, one so big as to make any results invalid and pointless. His results, should he have pulled it off, would be dramatic and sensational but hold no evidentiary value at all.

As with many such replications, Salo’s experiment would in fact be pointless and inconclusive no matter its outcome: If the building collapsed exactly as happened on September 11, conspiracy theorists would argue—correctly—that the conditions weren’t exactly the same as in the original building collapse. If the building collapses differently, that won’t prove anything either, for the same reason. Neither anyone questioning or defending the “official story” will accept his conclusions and admit they were wrong. Salo’s grand scheme went nowhere.

Bigfoot’s Famous Film

I’ve heard some version of this question dozens of times during my career as a monster investigator. Though I’ve investigated the best photographic evidence for several mysterious creatures—most prominently the 1977 photograph of the Champ lake monster, as seen in the articles Joe Nickell and I wrote in the July/August 2003 issue of Skeptical Inquirer and in our book Lake Monster Mysteries—I hadn’t done an in-depth investigation into the famous 1967 footage taken in Bluff Creek, California, by Roger Patterson and Bob Gimlin (P/G). The film is said to show a female Bigfoot (dubbed Patty) walking across a riverbed.

The film has been the subject of controversy and debate for half a century, and is routinely cited as the gold standard for Bigfoot footage (even some fifty-five years later, which is deeply suspicious given the ubiquity of high-quality smartphone cameras since then). Though the footage is blurry, one thing is clear: it’s either a hoax or a Bigfoot. Skeptics have offered damning analyses, both of Patterson and the murky circumstances under which the film was created and developed; see for example Greg Long’s The Making of Bigfoot and Daniel Loxton and Donald Prothero’s Abominable Science. Bigfoot believers offer a variety of responses, many of which wrongly place the burden of proof on skeptics, such as “If it’s a guy in a suit, where is the suit?” and “If it’s faked, why can’t anyone re-create the film using materials available in 1967?”

The alleged failure of the film to be recreated by researchers has long been a popular talking point among Bigfoot believers. A few examples will suffice; a fellow named Scott Renchin, in replying to a Skeptoid YouTube video about the P/G film, wrote in January 2022 that “A real skeptic would prove the film is a hoax by recreating the film using techniques and materials used to create the alleged hoax footage… the BBC did this already and failed miserably.” This same BBC show was also directed to me by noted cryptozoologist Ken Gerhard and others.

Film Replication Claims

The literature on this just-under-one minute film is both voluminous and contentious and there’s a lot to unpack. I’ll begin by noting that my focus is not on Bigfoot’s existence generally, nor even on the authenticity of the film specifically. Over and over when seeking information on this topic, respondents invariably went off topic and dove into why the film is obviously a hoax—or just as obviously authentic. Instead my topic is very specific, and simple: Who, specifically, has actually tried to replicate the film itself, using what equipment, and when? What documentation do we have of sincere, dedicated efforts by knowledgeable experts to create footage that matches the P/G image?

Researchers have tried to recreate the movement of the subject in the film. My colleague Dave Daegling, for example conducted a detailed analysis of the P/G film in his book Bigfoot Exposed and explored the question of whether a human could walk like the creature in the film. He determined that—like the creature’s size and speed which are well within human limitations—it is certainly possible for a person to walk the way it does using what’s called a compliant gait. It’s not the most comfortable method of locomotion for a human, but it’s easy to adopt with a bit of practice and doesn’t rule out a person in a suit.

It was certainly possible to create a realistic costume like that seen in the film in 1967. Planet of the Apes, for example, was released the following year, albeit with the help of professional makeup and costumers.

Those resources would not have been available to Patterson and Gimlin, though Planet of the Apes required close-ups of the actors including faces in sharp focus, whereas the P/G footage is at a great distance, out of focus, blurry, and unstable—all factors that (intentionally or otherwise) obscure details, thwart analysis, and facilitate fakery. The out of focus background actors in ape costumes are a very close match for “Patty.” Hollywood special effects experts including Stan Winston, when asked about the footage, have declared the footage bogus and said that what’s seen in the film would certainly have been possible in the 1960s. In fact a fairly realistic gorilla costume appeared in the film Are You With It?—from 1948, nearly two decades before Patterson and Gimlin set out to film a Bigfoot.

[ Film still from 1948’s “Are You With It?” ]

Instead the question is about replication of the film itself, which is a far more challenging and expensive task, and would require not only the original equipment but a reasonably similar costume, gait, location, environment, and so on.

Where’s Bigfoot (Recreations)?

Alleged films trying to replicate the P/G footage turned out to be nearly as elusive as Bigfoot itself. I found a handful of videos of television shows attempting (usually lightheartedly) to make their own Bigfoot films, while not making any serious attempt to replicate the P/G film per se. For example one show, Evening Magazine, described their half-baked, tongue-in-cheek stab at it in 2005: “We wondered what it would look like if we tried to make a Bigfoot film of our own… We picked up a gorilla suit at Champion Party Supply and made no modifications to it. We used a 16 mm film camera, roughly like the one Patterson used.”

In my questioning of Bigfoot proponents I was often assured that many (or at least “several”) attempts had been made to replicate the film, but when pressed to name one, the BBC show was prominently mentioned (often accompanied by chiding about how I should do better research). Searching for something more substantive and scientific, I reached out to Daniel Perez, a respected Bigfoot researcher and publisher of Bigfoot Times newsletter, to ask if he was aware of any attempts to replicate the film. He kindly provided a list of references to material about the film. Of those, about a half dozen were television shows, and of those only two mentioned any replication or recreation. The first was a 2007 Discovery Channel show titled Best Evidence: Bigfoot which Perez notes “covers the attempted replication of the movements seen in the P-G film” (emphasis added). As noted, this is not the question at hand and in any event if anything casts doubt on the film’s authenticity.

The second was to a 1998 BBC show titled The X-Creatures: Shooting The Bigfoot (available on YouTube under the title The X Creatures Bigfoot and Yeti); see stills below. Of this episode, Perez notes that “The show attempts to recreate the P-G film but certainly appears to fail miserably.” I reviewed the episode a dozen times, and here’s exactly how the narrator describes the attempt (at the 20 minute mark): “Using the same distances recorded at Bluff Creek, the same camera and lens, and an amateur operator, it’s possible to exactly recreate the action of 1967.”

To be clear: The show at no point claims to recreate the Patterson/Gimlin film itself; instead it’s an attempt at recreating the action depicted in the film, which is a very different matter. Accident and crime reconstruction analysts recreate actions all the time, using anything from toy cars to computer animation. It’s a fairly straightforward process that does not require replicating all the relevant conditions at play when an event occurred. Even when an accident or crime is recorded on video, the investigators need not recreate the video itself, just the actions of people and objects seen in the video.

The goal of the X-Creatures show was to determine how plausible Patterson and Gimlin’s claims are using only two criteria: the reported distance, and the original camera and lens. That’s it. The show makes this crystal clear: “The most important revelation… is how close Roger and Bob were to the creature; they were right on top of it, which makes the behavior even less natural. It walked away, utterly unconcerned… At this distance, with this lens, you’re certain to get the creature in the frame—unless you artificially wobble the camera.”

There was no attempt at replicating the original film. Nor, for that matter, was there any attempt at duplicating the costume, which would be necessary for recreating the film. We can plainly see that the hair color is wrong, the hair length is wrong, the size is wrong, the musculature is wrong, and the feet they used looks nothing like what could possibly have made the tracks allegedly found at the site. The angle to the creature is wrong, the terrain is wrong, and so on.

I still have not found a single film or video attempt at recreating the Patterson/Gimlin film using period equipment, the correct location, a credible costume, and other important criteria. Defenders of the P/G film can’t have it both ways, disingenuously arguing on one hand that this BBC show was the best filmmaking expertise made to replicate the film while smugly noting that it was an obvious failure because it looks nothing like the original.

With Bigfoot proponents unable to identify a single attempted film recreation, I tried a different approach and asked Craig Scott Lamb, a filmmaker, film historian, and administrator of the Ape Suit Cinema, a Facebook group dedicated to filmed ape costumes. Lamb replied, “I know of no actual attempts by special FX professionals to replicate what was seen in the Patterson film. However considering the cost of a pro ape suit I can certainly understand the lack of motivation… In other words who’s going to foot the bill?”

Lamb’s question is as enlightening as his answer: No special effects experts he’s aware of have even tried to replicate the P/G costume—much less in service of a failed attempt to replicate the film itself— but he’s exactly correct about one of the key impediments to replication. Whether the Patterson/Gimlin film is real or not, the fact that no one has tried to replicate it is irrelevant to its authenticity.

More importantly, the Bigfoot community has the logic exactly backwards: the question is not why no one has replicated the film if it’s a hoax, but instead why no one has replicated the film if it’s real. In other words (regardless of the film’s authenticity) why does the best Bigfoot footage date back to the Lyndon Johnson administration and the release of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band?

This poses a serious blow to the film’s credibility: these Bigfoot creatures are really out there wandering in front of eyewitnesses with cameras, why haven’t better films and videos emerged in the past fifty-six years? Both still and video cameras have become much higher quality and much cheaper over the past decades. It used to be that quality cameras were needed to take high-quality photographs; anyone could take a blurry Disneyland vacation photo with a pocket camera, but to get clear, sharp shots you often needed a more expensive camera and lens.

These days most people have a twelve megapixel high-definition camera in their pocket smartphones, which provide stabilizing, zoom, and other features that would have been the envy of Hollywood only a decade ago. At no time in history have so many people had high-quality cameras on them virtually all the time. If Bigfoot, Nessie, and the chupacabra exist, logically the photographic evidence for them should improve significantly over the years. Yet it hasn’t. Photographs of people, cars, mountains, flowers, sunsets, deer, and literally everything else in the world have gotten sharper and clearer over the years. The only exceptions are things never proven real, such Bigfoot, ghosts, and UFOs.

It’s true that replicating the P/G film would be difficult and expensive, but this has nothing to do with the content of the film. To use a simple analogy, period Hollywood films are notoriously expensive for the simple reason that to make them look authentic the production designers must locate era-appropriate props, costumes, and more. A film set in the early 1900s, for example, may need vintage vehicles, clothing, telephones, and so on. These can be rented from prop shops, but still require much more effort and cost to secure than would ordinary objects of today.

If someone did spend considerable time and effort to create a convincing costume and setting, that would not serve to silence the critics but bolster them; the response would not be, “Yes, you’re right, it can be credibly duplicated” but instead, “Yes, but see how much money you had to spend! Patterson and Gimlin didn’t have these resources, so it couldn’t have been faked!”

Replication in Investigation

Replication can certainly play an important role in skeptical investigation, though recreating the circumstances surrounding an “unexplained” event is far more crucial than necessarily duplicating or replicating a given sighting, photograph, or video.

It’s actually quite easy to capture a photographic image that cannot be replicated in every detail. A photograph is a two-dimensional representation of a split-second moment in time (depending, of course, on how long the exposure is) in a constantly changing environment. Replicating some photos is easy—a close-up of a shiny penny in fixed studio lighting, for example. But outdoor photographs, or those of urban settings, can be difficult or impossible to exactly replicate in every detail—which is the standard often demanded. Clouds come and go by the hour (sometimes by the minute); leaves move position in even a slight wind.

Keep in mind that a full and true replication may require the original people or objects, under the exact same conditions. Depending on what part of the image is under scrutiny (a dark manlike patch in shady wooded area, a face seen in a ghost image, or an odd light in the sky) the image may look different. Sunlight reflection off a gleaming polished fender of a 1958 Corvette, for example, might potentially help explain a mysterious light or image. Substituting a 1984 Honda or a 2012 Ford in a replication photograph may not get the same results.

A close-up photograph of an egg taken in 1950 might look identical to one taken with the same camera and lighting as one taken a century later in 2050. But in most cases a landscape photo will be difficult or impossible to exactly replicate 100 years later. But more importantly, the task of recreating the film, as a practical matter, is enormously difficult under the best of circumstances. We can begin with the terrain, which like all other natural habitats, has of course changed significantly in the past fifty-five years. Consider all the environmental factors at play: Trees die and fall, rivers and streams move, and so on.

I’ve done replication in some of my investigations, including for the Santa Fe Courthouse Ghost, Sandra Mansi’s photograph of the Lake Champlain monster, and so on. But I’m always careful to include qualifiers and not claim to have duplicated anything exactly, but merely as best I can under the circumstances. Claims about how skeptics can’t (or won’t) duplicate things such as the Patterson/Gimlin Bigfoot film, or the pyramids, or anything else are spurious red herrings.

The question has broader implications for investigative skepticism. In many cases, using the principle of Occam’s Razor, replication should be enough to demonstrate that an extraordinary claim is indeed unlikely to be true. For example self-described psychic-turned-“entertainment artist” Uri Geller rose to international prominence in the 1970s and 1980s performing various acts which could be—and have been—duplicated by professional magicians, perhaps most notably the late Amazing Randi. This does not of course provide conclusive proof that Geller was simply a skilled magician instead of a psychic, which is after all impossible to prove. It does, however, give critical thinkers a logical, rational, science-based reason to doubt the claims.

Science is based on comparisons—between control groups and experimental groups, for example. By controlling variables and comparing two groups of people or situations, scientists can tease out what factors are at play. The key here is the variables under control. A photograph, film, or video represents a fixed—and usually very short—moment in time. With the exception of long exposures, most photos are a two-dimensional representation of what was in front of a lens for a fraction of a second. We can’t see what happened just before or after the shutter opened. The P/G film, which is after all just a series of photographs when speeded up give the illusion of movement, is just under a minute long, and one reason it’s suspect is that we don’t see the figure coming into or exiting the frame.

For more on the topic of science and replication see my Skeptical Inquirer article “Skepticism and Pseudoexperiments” in the September/October 2020 issue.

Data Replication

Though I’ve focused here mostly on photographic replication, there are other aspects worth mentioning. The issue of replication in science is pretty straightforward: It’s essential for establishing the validity on an experiment. Because well-controlled studies are difficult to design and carry out, there is always the chance that a given outcome will be the result of random chance, experimenter bias, or any number of other factors. If a result is true and valid, then any other researchers following identical procedures should, in theory, get similar result—though, it should be noted, they may not necessarily interpret the results in the same way.

Replication is such an issue in science that the inability to replicate results has garnered significant attention. BBC News reported that “Concern over the reliability of the results published in scientific literature has been growing for some time. According to a survey published in the journal Nature more than 70% of researchers have tried and failed to reproduce another scientist’s experiments.” Skeptical investigation sometimes involves designing experiments and scientific protocols, for example when testing dowsers, psychics, and others (see, for example, “Testing Natasha” by Ray Hyman in the May/June 2005 SI and Jim Underdown’s work with the Los Angeles-based Independent Investigations Group).

Depending on what’s being measured, replication can be difficult under the best of circumstances. If you’re trying to replicate a population study it’s important to look at the statistical methodology to be sure a representative sample was used; slight variations in the underlying populations can introduce confounders and thus create spurious (Type I and Type II) errors, suggesting that an experiment has not been replicated when in fact it has, or vice-versa.

Whether the topic is a famous Bigfoot film, 9/11 attacks, pyramids in Egypt, psychic powers, or anything else, the oft-heard complaint that something can’t be—or hasn’t been—duplicated or replicated is often a red herring. Despite its strong anti-elitist and populist appeal, the claim demonstrates a fundamental lack of knowledge about control groups and science in general.

#skepticism #scepticism #science #replication #Benjamin Radford #skeptic #sceptic #sceptical investigation #skeptical investigation #bigfood #pyramids of giza #pyramids of ghiza #9/11 #September 11 #world trade center #9/11 attacks #science experiments #what science is #religion is a mental illness

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draslihanxfahri-bailey · 6 months

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📜𝙰𝚜𝚕𝚒𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝙵𝚊𝚑𝚛𝚒-𝙱𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚢 & 𝙼𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚢 𝙵𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛

Figuring out last minute details concerning the wing has been a tedious task all day. While Fridays were typically her work-from-home day, Aslihan had to spend it at the museum instead. Mainly consisting of meetings and phone calls to the wing's partners in Egypt, trying to figure out which items will be added to the collection and which ones will be exchanged and sent back to the museums. She felt bad for having Phoebe go off schedule, yet she fortunately was a trooper. And it probably didn't hurt that the Egyptologist has mainly been in the meeting room all morning. Yet, as one of them ended earlier than expected, Asli had been heading back to her office. On the phone with Jasmine and Erica, her and Eli's mums watching over Rhia today while spending time together to prepare for Shabbat that night. With lunch just around the corner, the woman was ready to take her break. Well, more exactly, to eat something that Eli had prepared for her, knowing that she would've forgotten to get her own lunch if he hadn't, while working on some more paperwork and making another call or two. However, what she hadn't been expecting to open her office door and to see a complete stranger. Aslihan gasped, dropping her phone as one hand was placed over her heart and the other quickly went to her right hip, her small pepper spray can hidden beneath her blazer. After everything with her attacker and him never being caught, she refused to go anywhere without it. "H-Hi," she said. Her breathing shaky as she kept some distance. "Can I help you with something...?"

𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚛: 𝚊𝚜𝚕𝚒'𝚜 𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚝 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚟𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚔'𝚜 𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝚑𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚞𝚖, 𝚌𝚕𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚝 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚔 ; 𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟷𝟻𝚝𝚑, 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟹 || @foster-notmatty

#( interactions. )#( ch. matty foster. )#tw: attack mention #attack mention tw

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beevean · 8 months

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On the topic of nfcv and its inconsistent; i tend to feel im harsher on nfcv and it's usage of representation since i dont tend to pay much attention to it ( It is good to let ppl see themselves on screen and its important to not fall into harmful sterotypes but it wont make or break a show for me unless its really bad). And castlevania has multiple historical/mythological inconsistencies (Matthias Corvinus rolling in his grave) and could have better representation ofc (the only poc main character i can think of is Ortega the were-lion antagonist from Legacy of Darkness the obscure n64 game). But you know? Cv's half goofy tone from it's origins as a monster smash makes it work w that, plus it's not the main focus. Meanwhile a huge selling point for nfcv has been it's ""gritty realism"" and ""seriousness"", and it's been praised to hell and back for it's "representation", when said rep isn't really good. So, i can be fine w SotN using a funny n completely historically innacurate mummy boss or having an skeleton serpent named Qetzacoatl (even if you can debate how those stereotypes can be harmful like egyptologists having to debunk the mummy curse myths), but the whole Sekhmet catgirl n aztec Orlox parts just makes me roll my eyes bc it will be blindly praised. I fear to be hypocritical here so that's my argument, and apologize for rambling in your inbox i swear this was shorter in my mind-

Pd: Yes Ortega is the og catboy, respect for him

I use this logic for Isaac lol. Yes, he relies on old and potentially offensive gay stereotypes, such as being in-your-face sexual, kinky in a creepy way, and even effectively molesting Trevor in the stabbing scene with his little kiss. And he's the villain contrasted with the more masculine hero. And he dies in the end. Yeah.

But aside from the fact that the game series overall is old-ish so outdated writing is to be at least expected, I don't get the feeling that this is meant to be "representation". And I'm certainly not meant to ohhh and ahhh at it. It is what it is, you know? The story says "here's the antagonist, he's very fruity", and you decide how to take it.

NFCV wants to be praised, and it is praised, for representation, for adding POC and gay people and cultures from all over the world, and it does so in a far less goofy setting that forces me to apply real-life logic to it. It also began in 2017, definitely at a time where writers were asked to pay attention to what the hell they're writing.

CV as a series was born as a love letter to Hammer horror movies, so it's a mishmash of monsters without rhyme or reason. NFCV wants to have a serious, real-adjacent world building, so that's why I ask "why is a Hungarian vampire worshipping an ancient Egyptian sun god"? Why are there Japanese people in Europe about a century before Europeans contacted Japan? Why is your idea of bi representation a threesome turning into rape?

So yes, I do believe that the show, in its arrogance, needs to be put at a higher standard than games written between the 80s and the 2000s. Not that they're exempt from criticism, ofc, I will always complain about stuff like the fridged women. Just... The games don't expect an applause for what they did.

#anti netflixvania

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bookishardor · 1 year

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A Last Journey to Lorien~

Or, A Dream Comes True Again.

In October 2019 I wrote a short blog entry about a course of events that I could owe to a book I pulled from a box in eleven years earlier.

The Ape Who Guards the Balance by Elizabeth Peters set the trajectory of my life on that otherwise unremarkable day, and the knowledge that I simply skipped home none the wiser of how deeply it and its author would affect my life still gives me goosebumps.

I have looked back at that moment countless, and at all the moments that stemmed from it, with elated and sometimes stupefied astonishment. Moments that include choosing to attend Hood College because I read MPM lived in Frederick and had an honorary degree from that institution, pursuing my budding interest in archaeology/art history and Egyptology, and even traveling to Egypt.

After graduating college, I discovered and helped cultivate the most amazing community of fans on Twitter, and through that channel TeamRamses and Beth Mertz, MPM’s daughter. The two of them have been such joys to get to know and talk to on social media, the main forum for the MPM fans I know. It’s not often I run across people who know the books in real life, so being able to talk to fans from around the world online is important to me.

Funnily enough, it is rarer for me to find casual fans of MPM’s work than it is for me to find people who actually knew her.

In 2017 with the launch of The Painted Queen, I met the owner of Wonder Book, Chuck, who had been dear friends with MPM, as well as Ray and Jay, Egyptologists who not only knew MPM, but also purchased and moved into her Frederick home a few years after her death.

Eventually I would come to work at Wonder Book, and in that fateful October of 2019, I was invited to see the house and gardens, MPM’s Lorien.

One might suppose with that jewel in my proverbial crown, that this would be the end of a superbly lovely and incredible tale.

Oh, Dear Reader, it was not the end.

At the end of April of this year, I had the privilege to attend Malice Domestic—an annual conference of mystery writers and readers. TeamRamses and myself were kindly invited by Beth to be a part of the fun in honoring her mother, and while I was only able to be there for that Saturday’s events, I had the most wonderful time.

I brought along my mother and one of my best friends—my roommate from college actually, so you could say I kind of owe MPM even more for the push that had me attending Hood—and we had a blast listening to the panels and walking the book room. You all likely know how hard it was for me to not snatch up a million books to buy in that room…

And then it was time for the panel. And here is where I met TeamRamses for the first time in person. There is something so special about meeting someone who loves a book series and author just as much as you do, even if online, and then to finally be able to hug and talk face to face. And TeamRamses is so easy to talk to, and so insightful about books and fandom. Chatting with her on the balcony outside later in the evening while we waited for the banquet was delightful. We talked books and television, and brought up all of our favorite topic: Who is your dream Amelia Peabody cast? Maybe we can run a panel on that someday. Or better yet, a panel about a show itself! Wishful thinking, I know.

The authors gathered on the panel for MPM discussed her amazing characters and her lasting influence over their own works. As soon as Gigi Pandian opened the discussion on Amelia, with an introduction along the lines of, “Peters’ most famous and beloved heroine” I felt a suspicious tingling in my eyes. As Amelia might say, just a bit of dust, nothing more!

But truthfully, I felt briefly overwhelmed. It’s been nearly 10 years since MPM’s passing, but being in a roomful of people celebrating her and thinking of Amelia and seeing her so vividly in my mind as I have for 15 years, sort squeezed the breath from me for a second. All of this culminated when we all realized that Barbara Rosenblatt, the voice of Amelia, was in the crowd and graciously answered a fan’s question, and illuminated us all on MPM’s more mischievous side.

When it was time for the banquet later that evening, I was seated at the same table as Gigi Pandian and some of MPM’s old friends; her veterinarian and her husband and son. It definitely still hits me in hindsight, how incredibly lucky I was to have gotten that seat. To be able to talk to an author so influenced by MPM. To hear first-hand accounts from the friends that knew her so well, including a riveting tale involving a treed raccoon and some rather presumptuous hunters. I have added each little detail I’ve picked up from her friends to my ever-increasing regard for the woman. In hearing these stories, I know I am beyond fortunate.

At the next table, Beth and TeamRamses sat with Beth’s family and Chuck. Barbara Rosenblatt was also in their set, and when I turned suddenly to find Chuck standing with her at my side…Reader, you should have seen how wide my eyes got. I could feel them become starry saucers. I shook her hand and thanked her—in my mind for all of the beautiful narration she has done for the Amelia books and beyond—though in reality it probably looked like I was just thanking her for standing next to me. Let’s be honest, I kind of was. Chalk one up for me being completely calm and smooth, certainly. If you ever read this, Barbara, I promise I’m more eloquent when I’m not star-struck!

Unfortunately, I was unable to stay for the entire award ceremony that night, but I took with me so much from that dinner and the people I shared it with. To them I also wish to say, “Thank you.”

The drive home gave me time to reflect. What a wonderful day. What a wonderful gathering of people. What a wonderful woman MPM had been. I turned to my friend, not for the first time that day mind you, and asked, “So when are you gonna read Amelia?”

On the following Sunday I was invited, along with my mother and TeamRamses, to visit Lorien again once more before Ray and Jay move.

Now, as I said before, I’d been to Lorien once, in the fall of 2019. But coming around that corner and seeing the house on that little rise again…

At this rate, I feel most everyone has seen photos of the house and gardens. I don’t know if I could paint that same scene with words that can’t be gleaned from those images. If you have not seen the photos, you can likely Google the real-estate listing, or find it on the Facebook fan page: Another Shirt Ruined. I recommend it; they’re a feast for the eyes.

Nothing I say could do it justice, but there are a few things that can’t be extricated from photos, and I’ll do my best to explain here.

Once the visual beauty and appeal of the home has settled around you the next thing you notice is the scent. In fact, you may notice it as soon as you enter the solarium, but the architecture and bright glass walls of the room dazzle, where the smell calms. It permeates the air until you can’t help but pay attention, until it ensconces itself in your memory. Weeks later and I can still recall it; I think I always will be able to.

I’m not exactly sure what it was entirely. Lavender, undoubtedly, as Jay had it hanging in the kitchen, but also the earthy smells of the garden and trees outside. And perhaps, the stone itself imparted a lingering trace of aroma. The overall effect was dreamy and sweet and I could only imagine many a quiet, rainy day in that room, sipping coffee and dozing while the rain ran down the windows and accentuated the smell of the air.

The next thing you notice is the love.

It’s in the very bones of that house. It’s in MPM’s desk and chair that were still in situ. It’s in the bookshelves and artwork and posters that were still hanging in the rooms and up the stair case. It’s in the custom Egyptian murals of the bathroom and the tiles on the kitchen floor and backsplash. And of course, it’s in the gardens; where beloved pets were buried and where so much time and care was given to creating a paradise. It’s in the stories I heard about gatherings and exploits her friends and family recalled.

And that’s where the love was most. In the people that gathered at the open house that day.

As we all walked the rooms of the home, listening to Beth and asking questions, I know we all fell into pockets of personal reverie. Where we could just imagine the life of the woman who’d lived there, who’d filled each room with her blazing personality. It felt like that I had actually met her before, in a sense. And it felt like I could turn a corner and find her there, petting a cat or tending a plant, or writing away at her desk.

After a tour of the house, TeamRamses, my mother, and I took a turn through the garden, ruminating on all the reasons why it would be so easy to never leave the property. It’s simply idyllic, even in the misty weather of that day.

And love was to be found lastly in the performance given by Barbara Rosenblatt.

As a delightful treat for all of us, before she had to drive back up to NYC, Barbara read an except from The Curse of the Pharaohs, the second book in the Amelia Peabody series. Fans will know the scene well—where Amelia and Emerson return to Evelyn’s to collect their progeny…little baby Walter Peabody Emerson.

Ramses, to those of us who know him best.

It was surreal to stand there in MPM’s home and listen to Barbara read. I’m still in a daze thinking about it. A little teary, too. I never gave audio books the time of day until I thought to try the Amelia recordings as a reread method. And to hear her voice come alive in the home where so many of the stories were written? To hear Emerson bellow and Evelyn laugh, to hear baby Ramses proclaim in somber, serious tones, “it is a femuw. A femuw of a winocowus…”

I have said before that somewhere in my mind and heart, I am always in the desert of Amarna with Amelia and Emerson. The first book in the series is my favorite for so many reasons, least of which is the nostalgia and peace it brings me. My original copy is well loved, and I know pieces of it by heart. Part of me is sitting with them at the fire, looking at the stars and listening to the jackals, chiding Walter and Evelyn’s young love, and scoffing at Lucas. Part of me is always snickering at the feelings brewing between Amelia and Emerson, even as he sets his own pocket on fire and she bosses him around.

In the same vein, I know part of me will always be standing in that solarium with MPM’s nearest and dearest, listening to Barbara read. The smell of lavender, rain, and stone in the air, the sound of all our laughter, and the sense of MPM just out of eyeshot, chuckling with us all.

I write my own story, from time to time. I’m not very disciplined with it, at least, not as much as I used to be. I have varying feelings about it, and I don’t imagine it will ever be much more than a tale of my own whimsy. But I do feel like every time I add even a little bit to it, that I’m adding to a love letter to MPM. And I do think I could add endlessly to a love letter to MPM. Writing my story, reading her books, talking to fans and friends on Twitter—it’s my way of saying thank you, thank you, thank you a million times over to an author I owe so much to.

So does the story end with the last visit to Lorien, the last glimpse into the sanctuary of a woman I can only wish to have met? Maybe. But so many things have happened these last 15 years that can find threads trailing back to my decision to read that book.

I can’t wait to see where she leads me next.

#amelia peabody #elizabeth peters #mpm #barbara mertz #barbara michaels #mine #blog post #essay

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