Today i woke up and realized i had not ONE not TWO but THREE ENTIRE COOL DREAMS and none of them turned into nightmares. Just cool vibes all around and two of the dreams were about pokemon legends. One of them was an entire au idea. I should have taken melatonin to fix my sleep schedule before this if this is what normal people feel when they go to sleep

[au idea is in the tags]

The Great War | Part 4 | Neteyam x Omatikaya!reader

Summary: You and Neteyam were childhood friends, always looking out for each other, but when the Sky People returned, neither of you could have anticipated the way it would affect your relationship with one another.

A/N: Sorry this took so long! I started a new job this week and didn’t have a lot of time to work on it. I have dragged you through three very long chapters of angst, so now you will be rewarded. I also drew a lot of reference from a deleted scene of the first movie for the trial, which is available on Youtube. Also, regarding a part 5, the people have spoken, and I have heard ;)

7.7k words

Warnings: mentions of death, some spiciness but nothing explicit

Part 1     Part 2     Part 3 Part 5

Under Mo'at's healing tutelage, Neteyam made a quick recovery. His stab had been straight and clean, allowing it to mostly heal within the next week. During the first couple of days of his recovery, you spent much of your time with him in the healing tent. Your relationship had undergone a lot of strain lately, and you were doing your best to help that heal as well.

Mo'at was not blind. She could see the care you had for her grandson as well as the dedication he had to you. Even though she never commented on it or asked questions, she was firmly convinced that there was only one reason why you two had not already become a mated pair.

"We must set a new date for your Uniltaron," she told you a few days after Neteyam's injury. You had been helping her change the bandage across his chest, and her words made your hands pause their work. "Really?" You asked hopefully. She grunted an affirmative. "You have healed well," she said flatly. "You are ready."

You were elated. You looked down at Neteyam's proud, smiling face. "You are ready," he repeated his grandmother's words confidently. You did your best to keep your cool in front of the Tsahik, but she could see the joy on your face as you continued to help her.

It had been nearly four weeks since your injury. You had been set to complete your trial just a few days after the attack on the base, but with your recovery, you weren't permitted to complete it. Physically, you had come of age, but you would never be viewed as an adult until you had completed the Dream Quest. Now, you would be able to achieve the status of a fully-fledged member of the Omatikaya.

Preparations were made for you three days later. The morning of your trial, you spent several hours meditating alone to clear your mind. The trial took place at high noon. You sat quietly with your father as he traced the white ceremonial body paint over you, singing your song cord over and over. Even though he had become more withdrawn since your mother's death, you knew how much he loved you and how proud he was of you.

When high noon approached, you were escorted to the sacred chamber of the Tsahik. It was a small, private room covered in bioluminescent lichen and moss. The sound of steady drumming echoed throughout the chamber from one of the elders present. Already inside were Jake and Mo'at. Along with a few elders, you also saw Neytiri next to Jake as well as your father's brother. They all sat gathered solemnly as you entered behind your father.

He turned and brought his head down to rest against your forehead affectionately before moving to sit next to his brother. The drumming continued steadily as you knelt in front of the small gathering of people. You maintained a calm composure, but secretly, your heart was beating quickly in anxiety.

Mo'at stood with a burning leaf in front of your face and blew the smoke right to you. You inhaled deeply, the sickly sweet smell making your eyes heavy. She came forward with a worm from the sacred tree and proclaimed loudly, "O wise worm, who eats the Sacred Tree, grant this worthy warrior true vision."

Swallowing the worm was an uncomfortable feeling, but you kept your face neutral as you felt it travel down your throat. "Grant true vision," she continued. "Grant true vision. In the plants, grant true vision to her." Jake stood with something crawling in his hand and walked behind you. You took a deep breath, closing your eyes in anticipation.

A stabbing sensation pierced through your back as the small creature stung you on your shoulder blade. You cried out in pain. The sting hurt worse than you could have anticipated, and your body curled into itself as the pain spread like a fire across your back. Your breathing became ragged as the burning wrapped around your chest.

All around you, the world became hazy. You looked up at the figures sitting around you, but you couldn't make out their features anymore. They started swaying back and forth, and you couldn't tell if they were moving or if your vision was distorting. The drumming sounds became deeper in your head and started to feel more like a heartbeat than an instrument. The luminescent plants around you started to glow brighter with more vivid colors than you had ever seen. The figures kept moving back and forth until they stopped looking like people and more like leaves on a swaying branch.

You blinked hard to try and clear your vision. The world in front of you seemed to morph before your very eyes, and the sacred chamber was replaced by the scene of the forest.

You were no longer kneeling on the ground, but standing on a wide tree branch. It was dark like night, and in front of you was the trunk of the tree rising into the canopy with two thick branches emerging from either side of it above you.

From the far ends of both branches, two figures walked out towards the trunk, one from the left and the other from the right. They were both hazy but appeared to be Na'vi. The person on the left called out your name in a familiar voice. You stepped closer in hesitation, trying to focus on their face and see who it was.

"My child," the voice beckoned, "come to me." Your heart seized when you recognized your mother's voice from the figure. "Mother?" You whispered in awe. Her face came in and out of focus, but you knew it was her. Head spinning, you reach out a hand to her.

Before she could respond, you heard shouting further down the left branch she was standing on followed by gunfire. Though you couldn't see anything, you knew in your heart that there were Sky People at the end of the branch. Your mother turned away and ran towards the sounds of battle.

You cried out to her as she disappeared from view, the grief of losing her washing over you anew. You were about to jump up onto the left branch to follow her, but the figure standing on the right branch called out your name, causing you to falter.

This voice was also familiar to you, though, like how it had been with your mother, you couldn't make out who was speaking. You tried looking closely at the figure on the right, but it was like your eyes were refusing to focus. The figure knelt down on their branch and extended a hand.

"Come to me," they said in a low voice. You looked up at the figure, then looked back over to where your mother disappeared. You could still hear the gunshots and screaming from the end of the left branch.

"My mother is that way," you told the crouching silhouette and pointed to your left. "I must help her." The figure said nothing, nor did they move. Your heart (or was it the drums?) beat loudly in your chest. "I must fight!" You told them desperately. Without moving, the figure simply repeated, "Come to me."

Something about this person made you hesitate. Sometimes, when you dreamed in the past, several situations and scenarios occurred in your sleep that appeared to make no sense at all, but in the moment, your subconscious understood the context of the bizarre dreams. It was a sense of understanding that allowed you to carry on in strange circumstances even when they didn't make any rational sense.

It was like that now. Under any other circumstances, you would have never hesitated to go left and follow your mother. Even as you stood on the tree branch, you wondered at yourself and your hesitation. It was true that you wanted to follow her. You wanted to go down the left branch and wipe out as many Sky People as you could, but the hand reaching for you from the branch on the right made you stop.

Looking further down the branch on the right, you couldn't see anything but the dense forest, but when you focused, you could hear faint laughter. It sounded like there was a Na'vi encampment nearby further down the right branch.

In your heart, you understood the choice that lay before you. If you followed the left branch, you could go and be the great warrior you had wanted to be since the war started. You had the chance to avenge your mother and bring honor to your family, even if it meant being killed in action.

If, on the other hand, you went down the branch on the right, you would be leaving the violence behind you and choosing peace. The sounds of the people on the right reminded you that warrior was not a true Na'vi calling. All warriors were merely hunters who had been prompted by war to defend their home. You had spent so much of your life at war that you had forgotten that the true way of the Na'vi is peace.

You looked back at the branch on the left again. By turning your back on the violence, you would also be surrendering the hurt you felt at your mother's death and the vengeance that had been driving you to fight every day since. It had been embedded into your heart, and removing it would be painful, but you finally realized that letting it remain there was poisoning yourself.

In your hazy state of mind, you hadn't even realized you were crying until you tried to speak again. You wiped your face quickly and cleared your throat. Looking left, you whispered to where your mother disappeared, "I'm sorry." Then, you turned to the still-kneeling figure on the right and took their hand.

With a strong grasp, they pulled you onto the branch. Your face was so close to theirs, but in the dark and haze, you still couldn't make out who it was. Holding your hand, they turned and pulled you towards the sounds of the voices at the end. As you got closer, the world became darker until you couldn't see anything anymore. Trusting the hand of the mystery person, you continued walking until faint blue, green, and purple lights appeared in the distance.

You felt the hand let go of yours, and you tried to call out in alarm, but your throat felt stuck. "Come to me," you heard them whisper one last time. Even though you felt afraid, you continued walking as the lights came closer and grew brighter.

You gasped for air as you awoke from your trance. The colors in your dream were spread around you in the form of the luminescent plants of the sacred chamber. It had only felt like a few minutes for you, but in reality, you had been comatose for nearly an hour. Dizzy, you sat up and blinked, trying to focus on something. Mo'at sat before you. She held your face before hers as you continued gasping for air. "It is finished," she said solemnly.

Still in a daze, you felt your father pull you into a tight embrace. "You have brought honor to our family," he whispered. "I am very proud of you." Jake came forward and rested his hands on your shoulders. "You are true Omatikaya now," he declared. You gazed up at him and smiled. "Thank you," you said breathlessly.

Outside, the rest of the Sully family were waiting for you to return. Kiri was the first to pull you into an embrace, quickly followed by Tuk's hug. Lo'ak gave you a friendly punch to the arm. Finally, Neteyam wrapped his arms around you as tightly as his still-recovering body would allow, and you cherished the feeling of his warmth against your figure. "I am very proud of you," he whispered before letting you go. You smiled up at him, feeling like you were glowing.

The rest of the day was a blur. Jake announced your status as a fully-fledged member of the People in front of the whole clan. You were bombarded with praise the whole day, and in the evening, you prepared for the celebration of your Second Birth by washing away the Uniltaron markings off of your body and undoing several of your braids except for the ones carrying beads from your mother and grandmother.

You felt overwhelmed by the congratulations you received from the clan. You felt truly honored at the words they said to you, and you understood that the clan was the object of peace that the right branch in your vision had symbolized.

As the night grew late, families started to withdraw to their living quarters. You were getting tired yourself, and so you excused yourself and bid everyone a good night. As you reached the edge of the gathering, you felt a hand gently grab your elbow. You turned to see Neteyam's face smiling down at you. "I want to show you something before you go," he whispered somewhat mischievously.

"What is it?" you asked curiously. He smirked. "You will know when we get there," he replied and tugged at your arm to follow him. You couldn't help but smile and follow after him as he sprinted away from the gathering and the rest of the village and into the trees.

Leaping from branch to branch, you were the most carefree you'd been since you began fighting in the war. All of your worries, bitterness, and anger seemed to have vanished for the time being. Now, you just felt happiness as you ran through the trees trying to keep up with Neteyam. Occasionally, he would look back at you with a smile and call out, "Keep up!" It made you laugh. After a while, he started climbing upwards, and you finally recognized the area he was leading you to.

Long ago, the two of you had discovered what you suspected may have once been the nest of a stray ikran. It was large and open at the top of the canopy, but it had been grown over with shrubs and moss for quite some time. It was perfect for star-gazing or hiding from your families, but you were both so young when you had discovered it that you weren't allowed to stay out past eclipse, and Neteyam so rarely went out without at least one sibling in tow that you had only gone out there a handful of times.

When the Sky People returned and you two began fighting, the time and opportunity to go out and see the strange fixture diminished, and eventually, you had forgotten all about it. Evidently, Neteyam still remembered.

You could see the outline of it through the remaining branches. Neteyam pulled himself up to the edge of the nest and turned around to look down on you. You followed up after him as quickly as you could. He knelt down from his branch and offered his hand out to you.

Looking up at him, your breath was knocked out of your chest. Everything about him was identical to the figure from your vision. His posture, his extended hand was exactly what you had seen earlier that day. The realization struck you hard; not only had you chosen the People, but you had also chosen him.

You stood gazing at him in a silent stupor. He noticed your hesitation, and his smile faltered somewhat. "Is everything alright?" He asked in concern. Still staring up at him, your smile returned. "Yes," you managed to say finally, "everything is alright."

You took his hand, and he pulled you up beside him effortlessly. The two of you stood closely face to face as you had done in your vision, only this time, every detail of his handsome face was perfectly clear for you to see. You could feel your heart pounding from your recent revelation as well as your proximity to each other.

Neteyam hopped over into the nest. The floor of it was still covered in moss, but the shrubbery and vines around the edges had been cleared away. Following in behind him, you noticed a few cushions lying on the ground next to a basket with a large banana fruit inside, a rare treat among the Na'vi.

Taking in the scene, you started laughing. It had been so long since you'd felt happiness like this, you couldn't help but laugh. Neteyam laughed too. "Do you like it?" He asked eagerly. You stared at him incredulously. "Like it?" You repeated. "This is perfect." He smiled widely at your praise.

Taking your hand, he led you over to the cushions for you to sit on. He grabbed the banana fruit from the basket and gave it a quick toss in the air before handing it to you. "This is for you," he said, looking very pleased with himself. "For the mighty huntress and warrior of the Omatikaya."

You laughed at him again. "How did you find this?" You ask him in amazement. It was very difficult to find canopy fruit untouched by other creatures, but this one seemed completely unblemished. Neteyam shrugged casually. "Eywa wanted me to find it," he responded. You shook your head at him with a wide smile. "Then I think Eywa would want you to have it," you told him, handing it back to him. It was good manners in Na'vi culture to turn down the offering of banana fruit from its finder.

"Oh, don't do that with me," he said. "It is for you. I don't want it." You knew that wasn't true because there was not a single person you knew who didn't want banana fruit. He laughed at the disbelieving look you gave him. "I am being serious, I saved this for you for your Second Birth," he insisted.

You weren't budging. Finally, with a roll of his eyes, he suggested, "We can share it, but you have the first bite." You smiled, satisfied at his proposition. Raising the fruit to your mouth, you bit into it and were overcome by the sweetness of it. You savored its taste with your eyes closed. It was hard to remember the last time you had tasted a banana fruit.

Handing it over to Neteyam, you watched as he took a bite from it as well, smiling at its rich flavor. As you both chewed in silence, you looked up at the night sky. Countless stars were littered overhead, shining so brightly that you felt that if all the natural light from the forest went out, you would still be able to see everything from where you sat.

"I had completely forgotten about this place," you sighed, breaking the silence. Neteyam nodded. "Me too," he admitted. "I only remembered when Tuk told me that she once had a dream about being carried away by a toruk back to its nest, and it reminded me of here." You laughed at his story. "Poor Tuk," you said, taking another bite from the banana fruit. He waved a hand dismissively. "She's fine," he told you with a grin. "And it gave me the idea of bringing you back here once you completed Uniltaron."

You heaved a big sigh. "It is still strange to think about," you confessed. "I feel...different." He studied your face. "It was hard?" He asked though it felt less like a question and more like a statement. You nodded, remembering the image of your mother standing before you. "Yes," you murmured, "but not in the way I was expecting."

Traditionally, it is not permitted for Na'vi to speak about their Dream Quest. Still, you felt the need to express what it had taught you.

"I have spent several years fighting against the Sky People," you started slowly. "I have faced so much loss and pain in the war, but I fought for our people, our home, our way of life." Neteyam watched you intently, listening closely to what you were saying.

"When they took away my mother-" you paused to take a shaky breath. "When they took her, I was overcome with vengeance and bitterness. After that, I wanted to fight more than ever so I could destroy the Sky People. It consumed me." Your throat tightened. Taking another breath, you continued.

"I could not see that my own bitterness was affecting the ones around me, the people I hold closest to my heart." You looked up at Neteyam remorsefully and took his hand in yours. "I am sorry for the way I have treated you," you told him earnestly. "I took out so much of my anger and pain on you when you did nothing to deserve it."

He squeezed your hand softly and shook his head. "No," he disagreed. "I did deserve it. I never should have tried to control you the way I did." You sighed as you remembered the angry argument you'd had with each other after you were grounded from missions. "I couldn't see how the war affected me outside of battle," you explained. "It has stained my spirit." You tapped on your chest for emphasis.

"Today, I was given a choice," you told him. "I could continue to fight to avenge my mother and all the other Na'vi killed by the Sky People." You paused, remembering how your mother turned and ran towards the violence. "Or, I could turn my back on my vengeance and focus on the ones still here with me." You looked up at the night sky as you thought about your vision. You could feel Neteyam's gaze boring into you. You could also feel his thumb rubbing softly across the top of your hand.

"Which did you choose?" He asked finally. You waited a while before answering his question. You thought about his extended hand both in your vision and just now. You heard his beckoning call in your memory: Come to me. After a moment, you answered, "I chose peace."

You looked away from the sky to his face. He was staring at you with an intense gaze that made your heart beat faster. He said nothing, he just studied your face like he was trying to memorize every detail. In your chest, you felt a longing you had been trying to suppress for years. You had felt it when you were younger as he told you the stories of his father's home world. You had felt it when he patched you up after your first close call in battle. You had felt it after your argument on the night of your accident. You had felt it when he confessed that you were his weakness. And now, you felt it stronger than ever.

You turned your body to face him better. "I chose peace," you repeated, heart still beating quickly in your chest. "And I chose you."

Your words hung in the air, and for a moment, everything was still as you looked into his amber eyes. Then, faster than you could process, Neteyam grabbed you by the back of your head and pulled you into a deep kiss.

Startled at first, you quickly melted into the kiss, pressing forward to lean against his strong body. You pulled apart for a breath but immediately returned for more. The hand that wasn't holding your head slid across your waist to your back as he pulled you closer to his body. He broke from the kiss with a heavy breath and moved his lips down from yours to kiss your jaw.

"I chose you, too," he whispered against your skin. "Long ago." He leaned back a little bit to admire your face, and you felt his thumb caress your neck, sending chills down your back. "Be mine," he said quietly, but with purpose. You felt breathless at his kiss and his words, but you smiled softly and nodded. "I have always been yours," you managed to whisper.

At that, he brought you back to his face and kissed you passionately. Your arms slid around his shoulders, and you could feel the muscles of his chest press against you. You felt his tongue teasing the edges of your lips, causing a small moan to escape you. Neteyam smiled against your mouth at your reaction and moved down from your mouth to your jaw again and further down to your neck.

After a few soft kisses to your neck, he paused. You could feel his warm breath against your sensitive skin. He let out a humming sigh, the same one he made whenever he didn't want to wake up from his sleep. Your eyes fluttered open, and you looked at him, his face right up to yours.

"What?" You whispered to him. He smiled softly, his eyes still closed for a moment before looking up at you tenderly. "Tomorrow, we can go to my father and grandmother to receive the blessing of Olo'eyktan and Tsahik," he said. "And then we may go to the Tree of Voices to be bonded before Eywa." Then, with a pointed smile, he repeated, "Tomorrow."

You smiled sheepishly as you understood what he was implying. Ever the rule follower, Neteyam was not about to break the social conventions of Na'vi culture. It was his indirect way of telling you that this was as far as you were going tonight. You couldn't deny the twinge of disappointment you felt, but you could appreciate his desire to follow tradition.

"Tomorrow," you repeated back with a nod. He smiled at you adoringly and pulled you in for a less passionate but still tender kiss. Pulling away, you smiled as a thought occurred to you. "Poor Ritirey," you said to him. "She is going to be so disappointed." Neteyam laughed at your statement. Everyone was painfully aware of the young girl's moon-eyed gaze whenever Neteyam was around. She fawned over him constantly to the point where he was slightly embarrassed to be around her.

"She'll be fine eventually," he assured you, leaning back against the cushions. You adjusted your position so that you could lay alongside him at the edge of the nest. "I am concerned for Hartuk," he added. You look up at him in surprise. "Hartuk?" You repeated in confusion.

Neteyam chuckled at your reaction. "You haven't noticed how he's always right at your elbow whenever we are in war meetings?" He asked. You thought about it, and you could see the other warrior in your memories of meetings and preparations before taking off for a mission. "I suppose, but he is so quiet, I never really noticed. Besides, it's probably nothing."

Neteyam shook his head with a smile. "He was with me and some other men from the war party a few weeks ago," he explained, looking up at the stars as he spoke, "and the topic turned to choosing a mate. Mekar asked him if he had his eye on somebody, and he said yes, but that she had not yet completed Uniltaron. We all started guessing who it was, and someone finally guessed you, and he went quiet again."

You could see his jaw twitch in something like jealousy, and it made you exhale a little chuckle. Noticing your reaction, he glanced down at you with a sly grin that made you blush slightly. "I realized I was going to have to move quickly if I were to have you as my mate," he continued.

You hummed in understanding before saying, "I would have turned him down even if you were slower." He chuckled at you. "I would hope so," he said, "but I was not going to take that chance." You laughed, turning your body to press flush against his and resting your head against his chest. His arm wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you to him tightly as his fingers brushed over your arm gently.

You lay together like that for hours, just talking and holding each other close. You traced the stars glowing on his chest as he ran his fingers through your loose hair. Neither of you even realized you were falling asleep until you woke up to the sun poking out from behind the large planet in the sky.

You tried stretching as the light hit your eyes, but your legs were tangled with his, and you realized you were still pressed against Neteyam. Remembering everything that happened the previous day, you smiled softly. Wrapping an arm around his torso, you pulled yourself closer to him and savored the warmth of his body against your own.

You heard a chuckle rumble in his chest. He had woken up before you and was currently playing absently with a piece of your hair. It was so peaceful, you could've stayed lying there in his embrace for the rest of your life. "People are going to wonder where we are," you whispered finally. He hummed lazily. "Let them," he murmured, his voice low and gravely from sleep.

You smiled. Usually, he would be the one to worry about maintaining appearances before the rest of the clan, but being in the fresh morning air with you curled into his side made it all seem unimportant. You both lay there in a comfortable silence for a long while before Neteyam sighed contentedly.

"Hmm?" Your eyes had been closed, but now you looked up at him sleepily. He turned his head to kiss your forehead before muttering, "I like waking up next to you." You grinned sheepishly, feeling your cheeks grow warm. "Well," you said coyly as you turned your body to face him better, "maybe you can do it again tomorrow." He huffed an amused breath against your skin.

"And the day after," he added, pressing a kiss to your temple. "And the day after." He moved his lips down to your cheek slowly and kissed you there softly. "And the day after." He pressed his lips to the corner of your mouth, and whispered quietly one more time, "And the day after," before kissing you tenderly on the lips.

You couldn't get over how it felt kissing him. It was so novel, yet you had known him for so long, loved him for so long that it felt natural. It felt right. He broke the kiss gently, still resting his forehead against yours. "And the day after," he continued, making you laugh. He smiled against your cheek. "And every day for the rest of my life," he finished.

You gazed at him adoringly. After everything you went through—the pain, the loss, the fights, the anger—it had seemed like happiness was something you had once dreamt up long ago. But now, you had it right there in front of you, holding you close and kissing you gently in the fresh morning air. It seemed impossible.

Neteyam interrupted your musings with a heavy sigh. "We're going to need to get up sometime if we want my father's blessing," he said. Every couple in Na'vi culture must receive the blessing of the Olo'eyktan and the Tsahik before they are allowed to consummate their relationship. It was more of a formality than anything, but tradition is important. Customs must be upheld, especially by the son of Olo'eyktan.

You sighed at the thought of having to leave such a comfortable situation, but knowing that he was just as eager as you were to officialize your relationship warmed your chest. You held him tightly for one more second and gave him another chaste kiss before rolling away from him and stretching.

Taking the cushions you had been resting on, the two of you made off into the forest back towards the clan. The nature around you had never seemed so beautiful. You seemed to notice the vibrant colors around you for the first time. The chattering of creatures in the trees sounded like music to you. Paths you'd taken countless times before gave you a new sense of wonder. The world felt alive and new because, for the first time in a long time, you had hope.

You and Neteyam walked in companionable silence, occasionally bringing up casual points of conversation. You were walking so closely that your arms brushed against each other. By the time you arrived back at the clan, most everybody was awake and readying themselves for the day.

Side-by-side, you walked into the cavernous village. You both headed straight for his family's tent, but only Kiri and Tuk were inside. Kiri was braiding her sister's hair when she noticed the two of you entering the tent.

With a chastising look, she asked Neteyam, "Where were you last night?" Her eyes darted from his face, down to the cushions he was holding, then up to your face. A look of revelation made her eyes widen at you both. "Oh my god," she uttered in English, sounding horrified. "Did you guys—?"

"Kiri," Neteyam cut her off shortly before she could accuse you of anything, especially something you wouldn't want to mention in front of Tuk. "No," he answered her unfinished question. "We did nothing." You felt yourself blushing at her insinuation, but you also couldn't help but smile at Neteyam's embarrassment.

Tuk could always tell when she was missing a piece of context in a conversation, and this was no different. "What did he do?" She demanded to know. Neteyam shot Kiri an irritated look before answering his other sister with an emphatic, "Nothing." Both sisters seemed unconvinced but didn't push it any further.

"Where is Dad?" Neteyam asked after recovering from his embarrassment. Without looking up from her braiding fingers, Kiri responded suspiciously, "Why?" Neteyam huffed an exasperated breath. You decided to step into the conversation. "We would like to speak with him," you told her. "Do you know where he is?"

Kiri's fingers stopped braiding. Her eyes snapped up at you both with a second look of realization on her face, this one with much less horror. "Wait," she whispered. "Are you two going—" Tuk gasped loudly, cutting her sister off mid-sentence. It seemed she understood the context this time and realized what you were asking shortly after Kiri did.

"Are you going to ask Dad for his blessing?!" She asked eagerly, her young face lit up with exuberance. You couldn't help but grin at the youngest Sully's excitement. It was heartwarming. Looking at Neteyam, you could see a small smile tugging at his lips too.

"Do you know where he is?" He repeated your question. Tuk squealed in delight, and Kiri's astonished look melted into a happy smile. "He is with Grandmother in her tent," she answered finally. That's convenient, you thought. You turned to face Neteyam, and you could see that he had the same thought. "Thanks," you told her, and you both walked out of the tent, his sisters whispering loudly behind you.

Mo'at's tent was not far. As you approached, Neteyam took your hand in his and whispered, "Ready?" You looked up at him with a smile. "Very," you replied, and with that, you both pushed your way into the tent together.

Inside, you saw Jake, Neytiri, and Mo'at sitting together on the floor eating. Their conversation halted when you both walked in, and the three of them stared up at you questioningly. You and Neteyam both respectfully acknowledged the three of them with "I see you." You suddenly felt very nervous standing in front of the three most influential members of the clan.

"What is it, Neteyam?" Neytiri asked, surprised to see the two of you there. He took a breath before replying confidently, "We have come to ask the blessing of Olo'eyktan and Tsahik." The tent was filled with a surprised silence. Your heart was pounding as you waited for a response, the only comfort was Neteyam's hand firmly holding yours.

You were relieved when you noticed a soft small on Neytiri's face. She looked over at Jake and the two of them shared a knowing look. It wasn't until much later that you learned that she had placed a wager against her mate on how soon you two would ask for their blessing after you came of age.

Jake stood up before you, placing one of his hands on your shoulder and the other on Neteyam's. "You wish to have this woman as your mate?" He asked his son. Neteyam gave a solemn nod. "Yes," he said clearly. Looking at you, Jake then asked, "You wish to have this man as your mate?" You couldn't suppress the smile on your face as you replied, "Yes."

You felt Neteyam's eyes on your face. You turned and looked up at him. He looked as happy as you felt, and though he was trying to maintain a formal attitude, the way he looked at you made your chest tighten in adoration. You could feel his thumb stroking the back of yours comfortingly, and you squeezed his hand gently.

"Then you have my blessing as Olo'eyktan," Jake told you. "You may be One in the eyes of the People." Excitement filled your chest at his words, and you could feel your heart beating quickly. Behind Jake, Mo'at had stood and was waiting to offer her blessing. You looked at her expectantly, but she didn't say anything for a while, she just looked back and forth between you and Neteyam.

Eventually, she lifted her hands to your chests, placing a palm over your heart and the other over his. You waited for a response, but you scarcely dared to breathe lest you make a noise and break her focused silence. Finally, she declared, "Two strong hearts...beating as One." She gave the two of you a rare, gentle smile. "Eywa has protected you both from great harm. Now, you may go and be One before Her."

Your throat became thick with emotions at her words and her smile. She was right, you had both been through so much together. Thrown into a war you never wanted, you had learned violence at a young age. You had seen death and destruction at a rate that most Na'vi had never seen from the time of the First Songs. Clan members, friends, family, all lost to the senseless violence of the Sky People. It had wedged itself between the two of you for a time, but now, you refused to be separated by it anymore.

Neteyam bowed his head graciously at Mo'at, and you followed suit. "Thank you," you both said earnestly. The Tsahik lifted her hand to touch her grandson's cheek affectionately. "Wait here a moment," she told him. She crossed over to a pile of jars and started mixing something. While she was working, Neytiri stood up and hugged her eldest. "I am very happy for you both," she said as she pulled away and placed a hand on your shoulder. Her eyes were shining with proud tears as she smile at the two of you.

Mo'at returned to where you were standing, a small bowl of what looked like light yellow clay in her hands. She dipped her thumb in the mixture and marked Neteyam's forehead with an oblong circle with a small dot in it, the Eye of Eywa. She turned and painted your forehead with the same mark.

Looking at Neteyam wearing the Eye of Eywa made it all feel real. The mark was symbolic that a couple had been blessed by Eywa to join together as a pair, and it displayed that status to the rest of the clan. Now, you both bore the mark of commitment. You could see that Neteyam was having the same thoughts as you, the reality of it all settling in over him as he smiled down at you lovingly.

"You may go with our blessing," Mo'at said finally. You both nodded and thanked them again. You walked out hand-in-hand, giddy beyond belief. Right outside, Kiri and Tuk were waiting expectantly. Seeing the marks on your foreheads, they both gasped in excitement. “I knew it! I knew it!” Tuk exclaimed as she gave Neteyam a big hug. Kiri pulled you into a warm embrace as well and said, “I am very happy for you both.”

It didn’t take long for the news to spread throughout the clan. To the disappointment of many of the women, the son of Olo’eyktan has chosen his mate, and to the disappointment of many of the men, he had chosen you. Still, you both received many congratulations from the People. You understood that by being with Neteyam, you also bore some of his burden of being an example to them, but you were more than willing to shoulder that responsibility.

In the afternoon, you dedicated time alone to braid beads and other such tokens into each other’s hair. He went first since most of your hair was already loose from the previous day. He showed you the colorful beads and stones he had either made or previously owned. One that stood out to you was a large, red bead with beautiful striations that resembled a flower.

Braiding was an intimate process. Neither of you had ever worked with anyone else’s hair outside of your immediate families. You were practically in his lap as he worked carefully with the front pieces of your hair, sitting silently and enjoying the pleasure of this private moment. You didn’t watch him directly as he worked, but rather, you traced your fingers along the striped patterns on his legs.

He would occasionally ask if you were comfortable or if he was hurting you, but every time he asked, you just smiled and told him you were fine. He only braided a few strands of your hair by your face, but he took his time and made sure each looked perfect before finishing and placing a kiss on your shoulder.

It was now your turn to braid your beads among his own. Since Neteyam was taller than you, you had to prop yourself up on your knees in order to hold your hands at a comfortable level to undo some of his braids. He noticed the awkwardness of your adjustment. “Do you need something to sit on?” He asked. Taking one of his braids in hand, you shook your head and replied, “I’ll be fine like this.”

After a brief pause, you noticed a smirk growing on his face. He wrapped one hand around the back of your thigh and the other across your lower back, and in one swift movement, he hoisted you onto his lap so that you were straddling him. “Better?” He asked smugly. Your face grew hot, and you were too flustered to respond immediately. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing the effect he had over you, so you tried your best to suppress the bashful smile pulling at your lips and responded evenly, “This will work.”

You worked quietly to undo his braids, your heart beating quickly at his proximity. Unlike how you had been when he worked at your hair, Neteyam didn’t look away; on the contrary, he stared up at your face the whole time. You stayed intently focused on your fingers, but you were acutely aware of his staring. You couldn’t help but smile and ask, “What is it?”

“Nothing,” he responded simply. “Just admiring.” You scoffed playfully at his words. You didn’t quite know how to respond to him, so you muttered under your breath, “Skxawng.” He hummed in amusement. He still had his hand wrapped around your thigh, and you could feel his fingers brushing back and forth against your skin. It was very distracting.

It didn’t take long for you to finish the three braids you had made sporting the beads you had brought. You hadn’t looked away from your work the whole time, but when you finished the last braid, you dropped your hands to rest on his shoulders and finally turned your eyes to look into his.

Neither of you said anything. You didn’t need to say anything. You had both spent so much of your lives together, both longing for this moment but never saying or acting on it. You didn’t need to say anything because nothing either of you could say could convey the depths of your feelings or level of devotion for each other. So, you sat in silence, your hands on his shoulders, his fingers brushing your thigh.

Eventually, you leaned forward and your lips met his gently. Neteyam wrapped his arms around you, pulling you as close to his body as he could. Your arms wrapped around his neck as you drew flush against him. His hands journeyed up your back, trying to explore as much as possible. His touch was intoxicating, and it made you want more. Deepening the kiss, you shifted against him slightly. He groaned quietly against your mouth, breaking away from your lips.

“Behave,” he whispered breathlessly in a way that made you very much not want to behave. You smirked and looked at him. “You’re such a tease,” you joked, earning a huff of amusement from Neteyam. “You’ll see,” he replied in a low voice. His promise left you speechless and blushing.

He raised a hand to brush your new braids out of your face. “They look good on you,” he said, referring to the beads hanging from them. Recovering from your flustered silence, you responded, “They are very beautiful.” He smiled softly before pulling you into a hug. You stayed wrapped in his strong embrace for a long time, his lips resting against your neck but not quite kissing it. He just held you, and you held him.

Never before had you ever felt so happy. It had taken so long for you to find it. So much pain and anger had taken over that you had forgotten what it felt like. You knew that this euphoric adoration you were both experiencing would pass, but the strength of your embrace and love for each other would never waver.

“I see you,” he whispered against your skin. You lifted your head to look at him before whispering back, “I see you.”

Part 5

Hey y'all, just got back from watching the rest of manlybadasshero's omori lets play and i thought i'd share some of my thoughts about the game! (NEEDLESS TO SAY, THERE WILL BE SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!)

So let's get one SUPER ULTRA MEGA BIG thing out of the way first, i would've 100% enjoyed my experience a lot more if i wasn't such a huge scatterbrain and spoiled the big twist at the end for myself. Though in my defense i kinda wasn't expecting the game to get so popular so quick when it first came out, i first heard of the game through manly and i thought it was just another obscure indie game like what he always plays. Aside from that though....I LOVED IT!!!!! It tugged at my heartstrings with it's accurate portrayal of mental illness and the heartwarming moments between sunny and his friends, it really reminded me of my own childhood in a lot of ways. I've found myself relating to all the characters in some sort of way, especially aubrey. Idk....just the way she lashed out on others throughout the game really spoke to me in a weird way......either that or it's just because i like rebellious characters in general (the fact that she has a pet bunny is a plus for me, i love bunnies!)

Ngl, i don't cry to video games often....i'm pretty sure the only games i've ever cried to are undertale and pokemon sword but even then, i was crying about pokemon sword because i was proud of myself for completing the game....and honestly, i'm glad omori is one of those games that make me emotional like that...even if i already knew sunny killed mari, even if i already knew basil killed himself in one of the endings. Though that could also be because my dog wouldn't shut the fuck up while i was watching the last few episodes and i was just stressed out about that

If i had to pick: i feel like i prefer headspace over real world, i was an undertale kid back in the day so i love me some quirky characters and fun worlds! Though tbh i feel like omocat WANTED her players to like headspace more since she explicitly said at one point that she specifically wanted to make omori a game so that people would be able to FEEL what sunny was feeling (that's the best way i can explain it i guess) that being said; i'd say my favorite characters are aubrey, spaceboy and recyclepath. I've already said what i've wanted to say about aubrey earlier but aside from that, i think she's really cool and VERY me-core! Same goes for spaceboy, i'm a huge sucker for bright colors and space-themed characters. Not to mention recyclepath is a really unique character, i've never seen a character based ENTIRELY on recycling before! Plus his coat and glasses remind me a LOT of oliver tree and i mean....hey, i like songs like alien boy and life goes on lmao

Ngl while i DID get the endings spoiled for me, there was still a lot of stuff that was a HUGE surprise for me! Like BRO I HAD NO IDEA KEL AND HERO HAD A BABY SISTER!!!! I mean....i DO vaguely remember someone mention sally in a youtube comment section but i had no idea what they were talking about and i was kinda just confused (iirc i may have even thought that kel and hero having a sister was just a weird dream i had) but i mean hey....as the youngest sister of 3 siblings who was born when my mom was in her 40's myself, i appreciate the representation! /hj

I actually first got into omori because a good friend of mine was into it, it started when he changed his pfp on discord to basil and we had a really short conversation about the game afterwards. A while later i saw an omori edit in my youtube rec and i thought "oh yay it's that game my friend likes! Let's watch it!" And the rest, as they say, is history! Dunno why the fuck it took me a whole ass year to finish the damn playthrough though

Speaking of which, i DEFINITELY wish that manly showed the hikkikomori route bosses in his playthrough. Seeing thoses cutscenes of the slime girls creating roboheart, mutantheart and perfectheart REALLY got me pumped to see the boss fights! Oh well....

All in all, omori is a SPECTACULAR game and i'm glad i decided to check it out! 9/10!

How TROS Failed Rey

These are just my opinions and from my personal perspective, if these things worked for you in the movie then cool, but this is why it was never going to work for me.

A Feminine Power Fantasy

Growing up in the 90s there wasn't a ton of media that had female lead characters. I grew up with strong female characters but they were often relegated to being the token girl of the group (see the Smurfette principle), the story was never centered around them and we never got to experience things from their point of view or really get to know their story. It felt like I was being asked to relate to male characters but boys were never asked or expected to relate to female characters.

Just as young boys see themselves as Luke, leading the adventure I also wanted to see myself as the main character. I wanted to have my own adventures.

When I first saw TFA, I went in knowing nothing about the movie. I had seen the OT and the Prequels as a kid and I had thought they were ok but I wasn't a huge Star Wars fan and in hindsight I really think this was due to the lack of female representation, Leia and Padme are great but I never really felt like I really got to know them as people. Not to mention that these characters are 2 women out of a cast that's predominantly male, it just seemed like the message LF was sending was that Star Wars is for boys, yeah girls can watch it if they want to but this isn't a series that is meant for you. So as you could guess I wasn't really expecting much from these new Star Wars movies, but I was pleasantly surprised.

I fell in love with Rey's character during those first 3 minutes of her introduction. During this brilliant example of “show don't tell,” story telling they were really able to convey so much about Rey's character and personality, I really began to care for her and felt like I understood her, as I could relate to her loneliness and isolation in my own way. And I was excited to see a story from a major fantasy/adventure franchise told from a feminine perspective. It felt like I was finally getting the representation I wanted to see.

So what happened? How did we go from Luke's line “And I will not be the Last Jedi” which is essentially him “passing the torch” to Rey, the next generation, to “One day I will earn your brother's saber?” 

As if the saber didn't already choose her in the Force Awakens? Why did they decide that all of a sudden Rey was unworthy? Didn't Yoda say “that library held nothing that the girl Rey didn't already posses?” which yes was a clever way of saying that Rey already took the jedi texts with her but was also implying that she already had everything she needed within herself to be a jedi (courage, humility, compassion etc...). Why did they take a step backwards in the last movie in the franchise? Insisting that Rey needed to train, that she suddenly wasn't good enough?

I can't say for sure what happened to lead up to this point. Was it just that the creative team gave in to the pressuring of a loud minority of alt-right youtubers and bots. Were they relying on Reddit and Twitter for public opinion rather than doing actual marketing research?  While I think that this was definitely a big factor I think there was just a general misunderstanding of the characters on Terrio's and JJ's part to begin with.

What Does Rey Want/Need?

To know where they went wrong, we have to ask ourselves who is Rey? All characters have a story goal, or the thing they want. By the end of the story the character will either get what they want after some struggles of course or learn that the thing that they want isn't what they need. So what does Rey want?  To understand what she wants we have to first understand her wound or past experience that caused emotional pain and interferes with the character's life. Rey's wound stems from her  abandonment. Along with the wound, comes the concept of the false lie. What is a lie that the character believes about themselves that we as the audience knows is untrue? Rey's lie is first, that her family is going to come back for her. 

The other lie she tells herself is the belief that she is worthless because she was abandoned, as she tells everyone she meets “I'm no one“ or “I'm just a scavenger.”

When Daisy Ridley was asked in an interview why Rey says she's “No One.” Ridley says it's because our relationships to people define so much of who we are and without relationships then who are we?  This makes sense considering that our parents are major influences in our development and in how we think about ourselves through much of our lives.

Rey seeks out parental figures, thinking that through them she'll figure out where she belongs. “Whoever you're waiting for on Jakku, they're never coming back. But there's someone who still could. The Belonging you seek is not behind you. It is ahead.” 

Rey initially believes that Maz is referring to Luke and when she later sets off to find him. She believe that he is going to be able to give her answers, and provide her with the belonging that she longs for, but Luke ultimately ends up disappointing her but finds comfort in her relationship with Ben.

This goes back to the idea that what Rey thinks she wants, Isn't necessarily what she needs. As JJ stated in the directors commentary of The Force Awakens, “So there was a very powerful idea that what she desperately wanted was belonging, which she’ll get, but just not how she expects.”

JJ and Terrio try to fullfill Rey's need through “found family” the family she finds with her friends and the resistance, but I think there is more to Rey's desire of wanting family that can't be satisfied by this alone. Finn, Poe, Leia are definitely a part of her journey in finding belonging but they're not the final piece to the puzzle. Otherwise she would have felt completely fulfilled by the end of The Last Jedi when she is on the Falcon surrounded by her friends.

I think part of Rey's desire for family, is also the desire to be understood, to be “seen.”  Rey even tells Finn in TROS that “People keep telling me they know me. No one does.” We hear Ben's response in the trailer “But I do...” (which was cut from the movie)

Ben has always been shown to be the person who truly “sees” Rey. He sees even the aspects of herself that she doesn't like to acknowledge. Recognizing that her holding on to her parents is affecting her negatively and that if she really wants to “find herself” she needs to let go.

Which is why when Ben says “You have no place in this story. You're nothing. But not to me.” What is really being expressed is “I don't care about where you come from and I see you for who you are.”  

This is why I believe that Ben was always suppose to be the final piece to the belonging Rey is searching for. As their narratives are intertwined. They both satisfy each others needs as characters, Rey's need to be seen for who she is and Ben's need for reconciliation and healing within his family.

Rey Palpatine

Rian Johnson said that when he began working on The Last Jedi, he wrote out all the character's names and next to them wrote what would be the hardest thing for that character to face. For Rey, this was that she needs to stand on her own two feet and define who she is for herself but JJ and Terrio seemed to have misunderstood this as Terrio states that,

“We also thought that Rey’s arc cannot be finished after Episode VIII. You can leave Episode VIII and say, “Well, now, Rey is content. She’s discovered her parents aren’t Skywalkers, or whatever, and that’s fine.” But so much of her personal story was about where she came from, what kept her on Jakku all those years and the trauma that shaped her. We see quite strongly in Episode VII that something mysterious and troubling happened to her. Although she did get some answers in Episode VIII, we didn’t feel that that story was over. We felt that there were still more questions in Rey’s head about where she came from and where she was going. So, that was the other big idea that we had to address in this film. Rian’s answer to, “What’s the worst news that Rey could receive?” was that she comes from junk traders, and that’s true. She does come from junk traders; we didn’t contradict that.”

Rey's conflict wasn't that she came from junk traders. Rey didn't care about “legacy.” Her conflict stemmed from her abandonment. Rey thinks she's “a nobody” not because of her parent's occupation or lineage but because she feels that she must be worthless because why else would her parents give her up? Rey learning that her parents sold her off for drinking money, that they didn't want her, was already a difficult and traumatic truth to overcome. Star Wars is a coming of age story, in the OT Luke grows from being a boy longing for adventure to discovering what it truly means to be a Jedi (following your principles and having a compassionate heart). Rey's journey is about letting go of childhood trauma and discovering her own independence.

It's also strange seeing as JJ had previously stated during The Force Awakens press tour that “I really feel that the assumption that any character needs to have inherited a certain number of midi-chlorians or needs to be part of a bloodline. It's not that I don't believe that as part of the canon, I'm just saying that at 11 years old that wasn't where my heart was. And so I respect and adhere to the canon but I also say that the Force has always seemed to me to be more inclusive and stronger than that.”

And there was still conflict for her to overcome. The one person who she felt truly understood her is now the supreme leader of the first order, will the resistance discover their connection? Will they see her as a traitor? All of this had the potential for great external and internal character conflict, but for some reason they didn't see this as conflict enough to sustain a whole movie?

Instead they gave Luke's character arc in the OT of having a dark side relative to Rey. “Discovering that you actually descended from your adoptive family’s greatest enemy, the same enemy who corrupted Anakin Skywalker and is responsible for the destruction of the Skywalker family in the first place, felt most devastating to us.” This doesn't make any sense to me as it feel like they just gave Rey Luke's internal conflict of being afraid of his dark side, I don't think this was ever a problem for Rey. In fact, in The Last Jedi  she leapt into the dark side cave to face her darkness (her abandonment). Luke even says “You went straight to the dark and you didn't even try to stop yourself.” 

The dark side cave in The Last Jedi was symbolic of Rey coming to terms with her darkness (the parts of herself she wants to hide).  It relates back to Jungian psychology (which much of Star Wars is based on) that people can only become whole through understanding both the light and shadow aspects of their personality. So it doesn't make sense for Rey to be afraid of who she is in the final movie when she just finished a journey where she learned to accept who she was?

Rey Skywalker

Terrio says that the decision to have Rey take on the name “Skywalker” was a way to show that “you can choose your ancestry.” Which is not true and also a strange thing to say considering the trilogy started with this:

But even if this was just awkward phrasing and what Terrio meant to say was that she considers the Skywalkers her family. Does this make sense considering that she didn't have a great relationship with Luke to begin with?

 I've seen it argued that she took the name as a way of honoring Leia but Leia never took the name or considered herself a Skywalker. Also this is another step backwards for Rey's character as The Last Jedi was trying to assert that Rey does not need to keep looking for parental figures to define herself.

So why  must she be a Palpatine, a Skywalker and “all the jedi” anyways? I think this was done for two reasons, the first was because by killing Ben they were going to kill the last of the Skywalker family and they wanted to keep the name tied to the franchise, in case they need the characters for future projects down the line, so they just pushed it onto Rey. The second reason is that I think they were trying to appease the misogynists' who spent the last 4 years calling Rey a “Mary Sue” so they explained her power away through powerful male lineage. It just feels so weird to me, like the creators are saying that we should like Rey not because of who she is as a character but because of who she is in relation to all these other characters we know you like (Luke, Leia, all the jedi that use her as a vessel etc...)

Daisy Ridley has even expressed her frustration with the Rey's lineage debate multiple times, “I love that Rey is such a great character, they’re like: ‘No, no, she has to be… she has to be-’She’s her own person! Let her be her guys, let her live.

Yet even at the end of the final film poor Rey can't seem to catch a break as she's once again asked for her last name. She once again has to justify herself for just existing. Why are surnames suddenly so important in Star Wars now anyways? Shouldn't the correct answer be “just Rey,” now that she's come to accept who she is and where she's come from and shouldn't that be good enough? What happened to the message of anyone can be a hero? That you don't have to come from or align yourself with a powerful family legacy. That we all have the power to make a difference?

TROS seems to be constantly asking Rey to prove herself. And weirdly enough it reminds me in a strange meta way of my own experience being a woman in the fandom and being constantly asked to prove that I'm a “True fan” (whatever the f@#% that means...) to prove that I'm worthy of consuming and participating in this content that male fans feel belongs solely to them.

In Conclusion

So what did our heroine gain in the end? Did she find family and belonging? No. So what does she have in the end? A yellow lightsaber (for merchandising purposes) and a surname of a dead family?  I guess she finally has an answer to give all the nosey nellies, obsessed with ones pedigree that have suddenly popped up all over the galaxy.

It's not a satisfying ending for her, as she's basically right back where she started. Alone, in a desolate desert, once again staring face to face at an old woman (an old woman which at the start of the Force Awakens symbolized her fear of growing old and wasting away her life on Jakku).

Terrio states that  this is not meant to indicate that Rey plans to stay here, “The very last thing Rey would do after all that is to go and live alone in a desert.”  but when that is the last shot you chose to end the movie on then what is the audience suppose to think? The bigger issue however, is that Rey's ending holds no significance to her or her journey. Terrio says that “In our thinking, Rey goes back to Tatooine as a pilgrimage in honor of her two Skywalker masters. Leia’s childhood home, Alderaan, no longer exists, but Luke’s childhood home, Tatooine, does. Rey brings the sabers there to honor the Skywalker twins by laying them to rest — together, finally — where it all began.” Tatooine, the Lars homestead and the twin suns, don't mean anything to Rey.  You know who did mean something to Rey? Who was the one person who understood her, who she had an intimate relationship with, who she explicitly states she wanted to be with? Ben. But he's gone too. But clearly a light saber and surname are more important. Again this all comes from a lack of caring for what Rey wants.

I just wish that the Sequel Trilogy had stayed Rey's trilogy, that she got to be a heroine in her own right not because she was a skywalker, or a palpatine or from some other powerful family. I will always love Rey but I will always hate what they did to her and I'm tired of people invalidating my feelings and telling me that it was a good ending or that it was empowering. I just want heroines to be taken as seriously and to have all the same privileges as male heroes. Let them stand on their own without connecting them back to every male hero in the franchise, let them be their own character, and finally just let them be human, let them fall in love and have relationships if they want to. Male heroes are never considered to be less of a hero for having a love interest, so why are female heroes? Basically what I got out of the Rise of Skywalker, was that it was created by a couple of guys that loved Luke and the OT and could care less about Rey and that's truly heart breaking.

a twilight tag game, you say?

pick 5-10 characters and write your take on the canon version of them vs. fanon version of them. fanon doesn’t have to be what is generally accepted in the fandom, it can be your own idea of what you think a character is like. then tag the same number of people as characters you pick, if you can.

I was tagged by @teamjacobthot -- thank you so much! I’m excited to get into this :) 

EMBRY 

(obviously because i adore him with my whole soul) 

Canon:

chill aka probably just shy let’s be real here

likes to bet on things? 

seems to have the most common sense

Fanon:

HERE WE GO, EVERYBODY *cracks knuckles*

def the smartest one out of him, jake and quil. 

an observer. definitely a people watcher. he reads the VIBEZ

very, super, ultra, mega sarcastic. almost cynical. I feel like he’s probably a realist in a lot of situations rather than either an optimist or a pessimist. probably leans a little more towards pessimism though 

refuses to learn about his dad (though, I personally believe it’s Joshua Uley, but that’s a long headcanon for another day unless someone specifically wants to know my thoughts on it more haha)

a super romantic without knowing he’s a romantic? 

real tight with his mom-- they’ve only ever had each other since old daddio has been out of the picture the entire time and she’s probably never really dated (once again, i have more thoughts on that too but you know, i digress)

also i SUPER headcanon that he almost ALWAYS only refers to her as, “Ma,” unless it is a serious situation in which he uses ‘mother’ but i do NOT feel like he is a ‘mom’ person. at least for his own mother. 

honestly these are just all my own headcanon i have no idea what people think about him :S 

for me, i think him and Jacob are closer than Quil is to either of them. In my mind, when embry’s mom Tiffany first got to town, she became really good friends with Sarah Black and thus, Jacob and Embry have kind of been friends since birth, quil only coming in a little later maybe and just not having the same kind of friendship that embry and jake have

I think him and Leah secretly get each other. Like they don’t talk much or anything, but Embry never makes comments to or about her and doesn’t participate in the guys being absolute jerks to her. 

also, he just guzzles that respect women juice. like, he was raised solely by his mother so like... he was taught to respect women and also i think this makes him more empathetic to other people which is why he wouldn’t be mean to leah or say mean things about her because he’d understand to a level and might even see pieces of his own mother in her because they both were screwed over by men and he never EVER wants to be that to anybody ever

probably plays guitar but NEVER shows anybody 

usually the but of a joke between jake and quil. 

also the decider in arguments between jake and quil

i have a zillion more but i’ll quit while i’m ahead

also

is a slut for muffins

QUIL ATEARA V

Canon:

he thinks he’s a ladies man (thinks) 

more outgoing?

likes hanging out with friends 

took his cousin to prom 

Fanon:

so, so, so funny as in a total dork with a lot of unearned confidence

book smart but NOT street smart

prefers name brand foods over generic because it just ‘has that extra something something’ and also, class

loves to debate with jacob. he always ends up taking it somehow more seriously than jacob does. 

i actually do not know why nobody talks about quil i feel like he’s super underrated and actually hilarious.

@teamjacobthot‘s one of this tag game mentioned he was a soundcloud rapper and i think i DIED so imma also go with that and second you there

very particular about how things are done 

a lover of the puns

toy story is his favorite childhood film, and he announces it as so. 

LEAH CLEARWATER

Canon:

angry and bitter 

thinks nothing more than of sam 

hates vampires 

sassy

Fanon:

i absolutely LOVE practically every fanon i’ve ever seen of leah in the fandom like...ever. they are all so amazing and i actually just want tons and tons of fanfictions about all of them

Ngl, i really am a big AngelaxLeah fan

BUT 

I PERSONALLY hc that leah gets fed up with being in the pack and she feels like there’s really nothing there for her. She ends up leaving la puzb to go off and explore the world-- she wants to see it and experience more than just the memories and the life that surrounds her in la push. she travels all over and often does so in wolf form when she can. I HC she imprints there-- on a real nice super cool lady from some other country. (this is another thing i could go on for days about, i will write a fanfic about it one day. ONE DAY i shall PREVAIL!) 

Honestly, i really do like Leah as she was canon. I think that it was the way everybody acted around her that i would change and i feel like the fandom as a whole agrees on that 

like yeah, Leah is a badass bitch with a great sense of humor. she’s witty and sarcastic and smart and wise and i just love her to pieces. everyone else just needs to wise up and be nicer

JACOB 

Canon:

super supportive and kind and loving and understanding and THEN smeyer swooped in and DESTROYED MY BOY. 

like, don’t even get me STARTED on my feelings about what she did to her OWN CHARACTER 

i mean really

smeyer straight up didn’t know what to do with him so she did... all of THAT. it makes me want to wheep.

Fanon:

the fanons out there on Jacob are just... they are SO WONDERFUL and give me SO MUCH JOY 

i’ve heard him being a mechanic obviously, i’ve heard about the HILARIOUS details of his friendship with like, alice and rosalie and emmett like... that shit is so funny i live for it 

i could read jacob fanons all day

i guess personally, i just love to bits. he’s super patient. very funny but also is really understanding and can (and loves) to get into deep discussions about stuff and listen to other people’s passions and share his own. 

purposefully pushes quil’s buttons so he can get a rise out of him because he LOVES their dumb bickering and enjoys a good debate 

is also almost always right in those debates 

quil probably won like... twice in all of history and it was based on some kind of weird trivia fact he learned in a biology class or something lol

i bet that when the time came he had kids (not with you-know-who obviously cause just...no), he’d be SUCH a great dad and he’d be SUPER hands-on with them, like always taking them places and teaching them how to do various stuff

and if one of his kids was really into something he didn’t know how to do, you KNOW his ass is up on youtube all night long learning how to do it so he can spend THAT MUCH MORE TIME with his kids 

oh he’s just so sweet love him to pieces 

RENESMESS

...I had to do this but i have a good reason:

Canon:

exists

Fanon:

absolutely does NOT exist

who?

the only ONLY acknowledgement i will give her is i read a fanon somewhere about how she HATES her name. like she is downright royally not okay with it and when she gets older and has to go to school for eternity with her family (weird. seriously so weird but i’m pushing through this) she decides to announce that she is only going by this other name (personally i feel like it’s Carlie because it’s still her middle name and jfd;akfsd but also because it’s A NORMAL NAME) and so she is never called renesmee again because that is straight up a monster name and even her nickname is a monster so like, ugh. 

also, i REFUSE to believe that Jacob imprinted on her, okay? if she has to exist, he did NOT imprint on her and they can be buds or something but just... no. (i have so many issues with imprinting guys, i should just sit down and write a long post about it but the ENERGY and it isn’t like it’s not all things that have been said before. it’s more what I’d fix about it so it could still exist but not be a legit code word for grooming and an excuse for blatant p*d* grossness because that’s all it is and i HATE THAT) 

so I don’t talk to anyone in the fandom really because i don’t really know how to start conversations like... at all. I really WANT to talk to people but I’m a chicken and i have a hard time, BUT, i really admire so many of the blogs on here and i LOVE so much of their content. Off the top of my head, i shall tag: 

@chiefjacob @911esme @jacobblackredemptionblog @embrycallsmuffin @leahclearwaterdefensesquad AND anyone else who wishes to do this! it was so much fun! I say do it! and if you’ve already done it, i just tip my hat to you for being an awesome blog :) 

seriously! tag me when you do it, i want to see your answers!! 

The Promise Analysis (Cloti)

Sorry about that, Nonny, I relate the promise between Tifa and Cloud to some of the stuff that happens during their resolution and went full tin hatter on it.

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven't played (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it's gonna be a long one so prepare to scroll.

Also, this is one person's interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that's cool and we'll agree to disagree.

You're also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I'm grabbing them from Youtube and it's frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone's interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis) 

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog) 

Tifa character analysis 

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis/theory) 

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti) 

Clotiscrew tunnel analysis 

Cloti reunion analysis 

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

Recapping for anyone who's forgotten the basics – cause I assume by this point you're ok with spoilers and me pointing that out is kinda dumb lol

So, chapter 4 and it's mission time with the trio – I love these dorks, especially Wedge, he is my child and if he's dead Imma riot. Jessie is off being sneaky and it's up to Cloud and co to play tag with the security team.

As Charlie Biggs (if you got the ref kudos) explains the plan, Cloud looks up at the night sky — which is a whole lot different to the one we fade up to and I personally wonder what it was about that sky that made him recall the promise to Tifa. Was it just the fact he'd been talking to her and it was his first time he'd paid attention to it? Before that he was under the plate and before that he was in the reactor, so I guess it's safe to assume this is his first chance to relate the two things.

Ok, after the fade in, we're treated to a pretty damn romantic set up. The water tower, the night sky and lil Cloud waiting for Tifa.

In the OG it mentions he waited for so long he started getting really cold, but he stuck it out because he wanted to see her and hoped she'd show. That's an OG lifestream detail not in the first OG promise scene, but let's assume for now it's gonna get a callback in the Remake. That means bby Cloud has been sitting there waiting for Tifa for a while now.

Ok, call her a thirteen year old bitch if you feel good about yourselves here, but she's thirteen and her dad is super overprotective. He stopped Cloud from playing with Tifa after she had an accident at 8 that wasn't Cloud's fault and in fact if he hadn't been there she'd have died on the mountain because nobody would've known where she was. Ok? Ok.

So, he's been waiting, and it's clear he's nervous – he looks so fucking cute I just can't stand it! Nervous fidgeting, balled fist, head down, mouth pulled into a pretty grim line. He thinks she's not coming, but still he's waiting for her.

Sorry, just to further hit home the above points. That is the face of a boy who is desperately hoping the girl he likes is gonna show, but has half given up hope. There's sadness in his eyes and a tensing along his jaw line. This boy is disappointed and my heart breaks for him.

Going back to that focus in on Cloud's eyes before the flashback and we can see here the massive difference mako makes to the colour. Cloud's eyes are a deep blue, while his mako infused eyes are blue/green. I get why he goes on about them a lot because he's probably not used to seeing them like that yet; maybe he never will be. Tifa's comment was about the look in his eyes – which I touched on in a comment I made while replaying. Tifa isn't focused on the colour, she's dismayed he has such a hard look in his eyes and when you compare the look in this boy's eyes, it's clear to see what she's getting at. This Cloud is the real Cloud and he is soft as fuck and trying to look tough.

GODDAMNIT!! There's way too many good moments to grab for this analysis! Look at this precious boy! All but folding under the weight of disappointment! But, what's this in the bg? Our heroine, here at last!

If anyone anyone tries to say Cloud didn't have a great stonking crush on Tifa as a kid then please tell me what this means if it isn't he's gutted he's waited and waited and she didn't show.

We don't know why she's late – maybe Remake will clear that up for us – but I'm guessing she couldn't sneak out or maybe, judging by the amount she's dressed up, she was doing the typical girly thing and couldn't decide what to wear, asking herself if this is a date and second guessing why Cloud called her to the water tower – which is known as a romantic meeting place. Whatever the reason, she's thirteen, sheltered – thanks to her dad – and naturally shy. Maybe she worried herself into a state about whether she should go and had to find her courage to meet Cloud. She likes him just as much as he likes her remember. It's canon, don't argue.

Now, her face is this bit is out of focus, but that's nothing to my weirdly myopic eagle eyes – it's a very specific gift. Tifa's smiling. That we can tell even before she's fully in shot. There's a bunching of the cheek muscles that tells us that. She's pleased he's still there. Obviously, she can't read his body language, but she'd probably be a bit upset to realise she upset him. Because she's not actually a bitch like some people like to claim. Sorry, but she's thirteen. How threatened are yall that you gotta call a thirteen year old girl a bitch and try to erase how important she is in Cloud's childhood just to further your own ends? Seriously, get help.

Sorry for the janky, but this is a transition between focus so it's not gonna be great anyway. Here we can see Cloud's expression when Tifa says heya. Eyes open, wide with surprise. She showed. That's what his face is saying. He's trying hard not to show his emotions too much – I mean he is still Cloud and too cool for all that nonsense – but he's relieved. Maybe his heart even skips a beat, but I'm speculating. Her greeting is casual, reserved. Tifa. She’s being cute even though he’s not looking because she wants him to think she’s cute.

Tifa, ever respectful and respectable sits the right amount of difference away that both encourages Cloud she's interested in being near him, but doesn't over encourage him and make him think of her in a negative way. She's likely cultivated this on purpose – she's the mayor's daughter so she's always got to be proper – because she's got a lot of male friends and having any of them get the wrong idea would be bad. You'll notice in her other flashbacks where the boys feature that she's not sitting too close to any of them and they're running around her, not touching or anything. They're satellites that revolve around her because she is untouchable to them. Because she's the mayor's daughter and has to be a good girl all the time. This is further evidence that goes towards Tifa's overall personality. She's very careful and respectful to people. She doesn't go out of her way to offend anyone unless she has no choice. Though she's a skilled fighter, she's very slow to anger and tries to look on the bright side as much as she can, despite the tragedy in her life. (I'm gushing, I know, but she's such a great multifaceted character and way more than the tropes people shove on her to make her into nothing).

Where was I?

Right. So, in direct contrast to their later conversation during the chapter 14 resolution, here we see Cloud with his back to Tifa and her with her head tilting, inviting him to confide in her. Yes, there really are that many awesome parallels purposely inserted in this game and that's why you need to take more than one look.

From her face we can conclude she's optimistic. She's smiling and doesn't look like someone who's expecting a bomb to drop any second – Cloud if you only turned around you wouldn't have gone through this shit. Sure, you'd have likely died when Sephiroth came to town, but hey, you'd have gone out with your childhood sweetheart lol

What she's probably expecting is for Cloud – who has purposely invited her to the watertower hot dating spot – to ask her out. And since she's there and dressed up, we could conclude she'd accept him.

Cloud is trying to find the cool words he wants to say that'll motivate Tifa to miss him, maybe even push her into saying, “No, don't go,” because even though he's fourteen, Cloud is no good at talking to women. This is just one of his character traits. It's why we wanna strangle him over the Triangle. Bby Cloud is hardly better than adult Cloud, but at least bby Cloud knows he likes Tifa.

Bomb dropped. Kaboom. Poor bby Tifa. Look how disappointed and upset she is. She wasn't expecting this one bit! She looked so hopeful in the seconds before Cloud's hesitant declaration, only it wasn't the kind she hoped for. I wouldn't go so far as to say she's crushed, but she's upset, that's for sure. Her brows have come together and she's turned away from Cloud because she doesn't want him to see how she looks in this moment. She's trying to put a brave face on it, but bby Tifa isn't as good as her grown up self. You can see the mouth trying to form a smile, but the eyes have a different expression in them.This is again seen in chapter 14 when Tifa tries to put a brave face on for Cloud before breaking down. 

Shots fired! Tifa goes for dismissive and succeeds! Never mess with a girl with a crush lol

Cloud was trying to get a reaction out of her, but she got one out of him instead. Brave face wins. Well, what did you expect? She's the mayor's daughter and raised on being proper.

He stutters that he's not like the other boys – so cute – and shows off his lofty dreams. He's trying so hard to impress her. He only has these dreams because of the incident when they were smaller where her father said if Cloud can't take care of Tifa then he has no right being around her. This is what drove Cloud to distance himself from Tifa and her friends. Talk about shoving an inferiority complex and identity disorder on a kid. I get it, the mayor was worried about his daughter, but Cloud didn't deserve the bear the brunt of his anger and blame. Still, the fact that nine year old Cloud took that, held onto it for five years and still decided to pursue Tifa by becoming a SOLDIER has huge meaning for them. He was nine. Ok, for argument's sake let's say he didn't have a crush on her, but they were friends and he was told he wasn't good enough to hang with her. So, thanks to propaganda he gets it in his head that SOLDIERS are the best and if he's one of them he'll be good enough for her father to let him see Tifa again. We're not told at any point – nor shown it – that Tifa is only interested in Cloud if he's this elite who can impress her. Remember, she already likes him. Look at what she's wearing compared to him ffs. This girl – again – dressed for a date with Mr Oblivious. Yes, I'm rolling my eyes. Yes, I want to smack him upside the head. Yes, I know he's 14, I meant adult Cloud.

Back to it. The look on his face here is one of “she thinks I'm like the others? I'll prove I'm not. I'm better than that. I can be next to her if I prove myself.” At this point, he's definitely gone from wanting to be around her in a friendship capacity to borderline romantic. I mean, he did call her out to the watertower. Did I mention that? A few times? Because it's significant. He's frustrated she compared him to her friends – no she didn't friendzone him, she likes him. He thinks she friendzoned him. Kids are frustrating and the adult versions aren't much better.

Shots fired part two! Points to Cloud this time! Smug lil fucker, I see that smirk!

Okay, so Cloud says he's gonna be like Sephiroth and at this point in time Sephiroth isn't batshit crazy, he's someone to be admired. Tifa to be fair, doesn't sound impressed, but she's humouring Cloud. Then, she says, “Isn't it hard to become a SOLDIER?” And Cloud replies with “Yes, so I won't be back for a long time.”

Okay, now. This is definitely to get a reaction. The smirk on his face is saying that he's partly getting her back for her earlier shot and partly trying to goad a reaction from her because he thinks he didn't get one before – this is why eye contact matters.

Tifa, for her part, doesn't look happy. He's got a reaction out of her, but it'd be really super helpful if he was facing her to see it. Because he isn't, she can get away with a breezy reply that makes him think she doesn't care.

I'm sorry, can I just say serves you right and leave it at that? Seriously, Cloud, don't mess with girls when you can barely form coherent sentences most of the time. What did he expect? She'd throw herself on him, clinging, crying and begging him not to go? Probably. Once again, our angsty hero is on the backfoot in their conversation. This is why eye contact matters. He's looking a bit gutted at her reaction. He likely hoped for more and got far less than he wanted. It's no wonder he goes to Midgar and doesn't approach her when he comes back as a grunt. He's carrying this presumed disappointment around with him that stops him from seeing her. (I can't really go more into CC events since I haven't played it and I've only seen a few bits and pieces, but what I got from it was Cloud is an idiot.)

Tifa asking if he'll be in the papers is both a brush off towards his baiting and also she's trying to encourage him. This is his dream. He called her out of the house late at night to tell her – just her – that this is what he's gonna do. Of course she won't stop him. She's not that kind of girl. She's supportive and kind. She doesn't understand that Cloud's doing it for her – I honestly don't think it enters her mind at any point until he reveals it OG during the lifestream sequence. She's pretty much as oblivious as he is and assumes they're just really close friends and her attraction is all one sided; same as he does about her.

Ah ha! Tifa thinks, realising that Cloud's lukewarm effort to be in the papers won't be enough to satisfy her. If Cloud's going to become a SOLDIER, then he'll be a hero – like Sephiroth. What do heroes do? Save people. He said he won't be home for a long time, but there's even less guarantee he'd come back at all, and she wants to see him again, even if it's just once. She can't leave Nibelheim. As the mayor's daughter she's got responsibilities to the people there – even though the town is dying out and nobody new is settling. Eventually, she'll be the only person her age left and maybe never hear from any of her friends again. But, she can't leave. She can't abandon the people. She'll be left, alone and lonely, until everyone’s gone. Her life wasted. But, she could see Cloud again and that makes her optimistic. Maybe she wouldn't mind the time so much if she thought she'd get to see him again. See that at least he's pursuing his dreams and he's happy with the direction his life took. Maybe she'd get one grand romantic gesture in her life if SOLDIER Cloud could save her.

Confused boi is confused. From Cloud's pov, he doesn't understand this odd request. He hasn't thought about Tifa saying everyone leaving means she's alone. He's only seen this from his pov, so he can't see why Tifa would need saving or how he would even know she needs him. He doesn't realise it's her way of trying to get some guarantee they'll meet again.

I mean, we can see he's trying to understand her. He's actually turned to look at her this time and his expression is searching, like he's looking for clues why she said this. He also invites her to explain by making a verbal cue.

And now that Cloud has her full attention – you know, the thing he was trying to get all along – he doesn't know what to do with it. He's flustered and awkward, and she's cajoling and turning on the charm, which she likely has in spades because mayor's daughter. I know I say that like it's a personality trait, but in part it is. She's had to learn decorum and everything that goes with it. She needs manners and good behaviour. She has to be just enough of an extrovert that she can attend functions – because even though I know I said the town is dying, they still have a reactor and that means they still get visits from important people. She can't show her dad or town up. In the Resolution analysis I made I said she hasn't been allowed to show emotion for five years since she arrived in Midgar, but it's very likely she's never been allowed to show much emotion. She's gotta be the doll. So, since she can't show she's sad, she goes for positive, and Cloud's frowning because he's not sure how he'll keep this promise she wants so bad and if she isn't interested in him then why is she asking for one anyway? Remember, they just did a do-si-do with each other's feelings acting like they don't like each other.

But then, oh look! Oh look! In the face of Tifa's unrelenting cheer and optimism, Cloud starts to smile. Eyes soften and the slightest lift at the corner of his mouth. He's starting to like the idea of being her hero. And it's just once and maybe from that one time save things would move forward for them. He's definitely not opposed to the idea – especially since he's the one who brings it up with Tifa later and she's pretty embarrassed at the reminder. The confusion from before could be because he thought she wasn't serious, but looking her dead in the eye – this is why eye contact matters – he sees she's serious. She wants him to be her hero. She wants to see him again and even offers a get out clause by saying “just once.” He doesn't have to do it forever or whenever she wants, just once. So, she can have hope she'll see him again some day.

And now we're back with the big idiot, who squeezes his eyes shut as he remembers Tifa in the bar earlier saying she feels trapped. Guilt likely pinches. Maybe he wonders if this was a hint she wanted his help – I'm wavering on this because she does say later she didn't expect this kind of thing when she asked for his promise – but if we go by choice of words alone it's leading. Then again, bby Tifa uses the word trapped, so it could just be a word that she feels comfortable using to describe her feelings. How we speak is made up of specific words we go to that feel right when we say them. It's just one of those things and why not everyone speaks the same even when they're from the same region or you have friend groups where you speak one way and other groups where you speak another.

From the dev pov I'm assuming it's meant to be a callback to the promise, but I wouldn't put it on Tifa doing it purposely to encourage Cloud to help her. If that makes sense.

And we close off with Cloud clenching his fist and resolving to help Tifa. To keep his promise.

At no point do we have confirmation from Tifa that the reason she asked Cloud to make a promise was to get a favour off him.

Conclusion

This is actually a very tragic scene from Tifa's pov. I've seen some people say this is because she's a young girl acting like a fairy princess, but I can't marry that idea with the gritty themes FF7 portrayed, and Remake does still hit those notes. Tifa is a young girl who had her romantic hopes dashed and she's looking for some kind of consolation from the boy she likes. He's leaving her. They're all leaving her. She'll be alone. She just wants hope that she'll see him again.

Is it manipulative? Yeah, ok, if that's how you see it. She's thirteen. Did I mention that? I'll say it again. She's thirteen, and one of the last people her age in town. Soon, she's gonna be the only one her age. She's lonely and doesn't want to lose everyone in her life. If you say that's manipulative by asking her crush make a promise so she can have hope she'd see him again, then go off I guess.

And let's touch on hope. Tifa is someone who has a lot of enduring hope – this is why I initially linked the ask to the resolution scene because the theme of hope runs through both. Tifa gets knocked down a lot. She's almost died several times, lost people close to her when they left town, lost Cloud when he left and still found a way to go on. She was never a damsel or trying to be one. She's wearing a cute dress because Cloud asked her out. She thought it was a date. Or she wanted it to be. And since when does wearing a dress make someone a weakling? Or does it only apply to Tifa because convenience?

After Cloud leaves, Tifa begins training every day. She learns from a master and develops her skills until she's at the peak. I mean, you've seen her fight. She kicks all the ass.

She wasn't sitting around like a damsel waiting for an opportunity for Cloud to come and save her. She got on with her life. She was happy at times, sad others. It was normal. She missed Cloud, I know that much from CC. She dressed up – again – hoping he'd be part of the group inspecting the reactor. She was disappointed when he wasn't there.

The promise between them wasn't about furthering a childhood romance or making Tifa someone Cloud couldn't get over. Neither of them was aware the other had feelings. It was awkward mutual oblivious crushing that clearly carried on for another two years until Cloud showed up with Zack, but didn't appear before Tifa because he’s that kind of idiot.

And what happened during the trip? Well, a lot of stuff, but the thing I know about is Sephiroth went batshit cray cray and slaughtered everyone in the town and then burnt it to the ground. He nearly killed Tifa. Cloud was there and that's what we see in his headache flashes about “I let you down again”.

He carries a lot of guilt about not being Tifa's hero, which is why he tries so hard to protect her. He made a promise to her that part of him believes he hasn't kept, but if it wasn't for him, she'd be dead. Again. He did save her. And he keeps on saving her. Not because of the debt of a promise but because he wants to be her hero. The real Cloud that's hidden deep within him, the one that made the original promise, the one that almost died saving her and got stuffed in a mako chamber for years until Zack rescued him, that Cloud wants to be Tifa's hero.

That's why after he recalls this moment – and it's one of the ones where he doesn't have a headache at all (just thought I'd mention that because certain people go on about how a specific scene is all Cloud not headachey Cloud whatever) – that he becomes focused on helping Tifa. He opens up both to her and others – check the camaraderie with the trio after the mission and him offering to walk Wedge home. 

This recollection of a promise is the first step for the real Cloud to finding his way back. That's why it anchors his development and that's why his and Tifa's relationship will never be less than something deep and meaningful.

bnha for the ask game please!

Thank you! (I’m just going to dump a bunch of thoughts about the show so yeah readmore bitch)

The first character I first fell in love with:

I’ll be basic and say Izuku! He was my favorite for a long time. I just really appreciate his character as a protagonist, and I still love watching him grow.

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now:

All of them?? I have a tendency to either like every character in a story or hate every character (in varying degrees), but Horikoshi did a great job building up the characters. Here are my top picks as I remember them:

All Might: Okay, I’m going to sound like an idiot here, but for whatever reason, I thought All Might was the main villain of MHA 😶. I think I heard about this anime for the first time in a YouTube video (I should try to find it) and the way she was explaining it, I thought he was secretly evil?? Or at least some kind of antihero? (It probably had something to do with noob me getting All for One and One for All mixed up hshdkjbsbdj) So when I finally started watching it a few months later, I kept waiting for him to be evil? I feel silly now, but for the first few episodes I was really holding myself back from liking All Might 😅 But eventually I realized I had misunderstood everything somehow and now he’s one of my favorites!

Uraraka: I’ll kind of expose myself here. So I have a tendency to not really like most female characters in media. I think it has to do with relatability in some fashion, because I’ve found that characters who have similar personalities to me are kind of useless, and then other, stronger female characters are too masculine, I guess, and just generally come off too harsh for me to really vibe with (I hope that makes sense). So I just kind of thought Uraraka would be another boring, annoying anime girl (keep in mind this was essentially the first anime I’d ever really watched, give or take) but I was proven wrong! I’m not super crazy about how her character has been used in the last season or two, but when mha was first starting out, I really liked her. I liked her friendship with Izuku and Iida and I liked how she had her own motivations. I also loved her fight with Bakugou during the sports festival and it’s still one of my favorite sequences of season two. I did think she’d be more of a main character (like a female Ron to Iida’s male Hermione thing), but I don’t know. I guess I enjoy how we get to see more of everyone from class A rather than just focusing on Midoriya and one or two others, but I miss her.

Kirishima: Uh, yeah, I really didn’t see him coming. I don’t remember much of my first impressions of him, aside from ‘haha, anime hair man’ and I liked his repeated remarks about manliness (also I thought his dynamic with Tetsutetsu was really funny). But his whole backstory arc came out of nowhere to me (even though it was set up really well looking back) and I guess I just relate to him a lot? Like, his epiphany he had in season four where he decided he wanted to turn his life around really resonated with me and . . . wow, yeah (sorry, I’m getting emotional)

The character everyone else loves that I don’t:

I don’t know. Most characters I feel positive-indifferent to--like, I don’t passionately love them, but I’m like ‘yeah, they’re cool, they’re good’. Also I find it hard to pick a character that’s universally loved/hated because there aren’t any? I’ve just seen so many takes on these characters, it’s hard to say.

I guess Aoyama is one of my least favorites (although I saw something yesterday that made me more interested in him). I thought he was annoying when I first started watching the show, and I actually got kind of miffed that he was in class 1-A and he’d be a continued character. And I’m not big on a lot of the girls, but that would probably change if we actually got to spend more time with them and if they were more developed, Horikoshi. Oh, and I’m not a super fan of Tokoyami like I thought I’d be (I’d heard people talking about him before I started watching the show and saying things like “my bird son”, and I thought he’d have a larger role in the story based on how much I’d seen him around).

The character I love that everyone else hates:

Similar answer to the one above. I’m really basic in terms of liking characters that are just generally liked by everyone else. Although I do have a soft spot for Sato, but I don’t think anyone hates him. He’s just . . . a side character with like no lines and his quirk is a little dumb, don’t tell anyone I said that

The character I used to love but don’t any longer:

I’ll go with Todoroki on this one. His backstory is compelling and I love his character design and his deep voice, but I’m not a big fan of his personality? He just . . . doesn’t really have one? That’s so mean, but I guess my gripe with him is similar to Uraraka in the sense that he was just dropped? so suddenly? I don’t really read the manga, so I’m going off the anime, but I just really feel how these characters fall in and out of Midoriya’s life and his own story, and it’s just kind of unpredictable (and a little unsatisfying) when they’re given build-up and an arc and then we . . . don’t see them again except in the background. If anything, I feel like Shouto’s been demoted to comic relief over time rather than remaining this well-developed, interesting character. I still like him, I’m just . . . not impressed.

The character I would totally smooch:

Look at my icon, it’s obvious :]

The character I’d want to be like:

Probably Midoriya. I relate to him in the sense that he’s an anxious nerdy fanboy, but I really admire his determination and dedication to fulfill his dreams. Also he’s just really warm and kind to everyone, and I try to be like that myself.

The character I’d slap:

Overhaul. Idk what y’all are on, I don’t like him. But I might be too scared to slap him, so realistically I’d slap Mineta. He deserves it too.

A pairing that I love:

Hmm, I have a love-hate relationship with most ships from this show. Y’all know I like writing Kiribaku, but sometimes seeing too much of it makes me kind of sad and insecure. Uhhh Izuocha is really basic to me (and I think they’re kind of stretching it out a little too long (then again, it’s not the main focus of the story), and it feels a little forced). Maybe my favorite is Kamijirou? I think they’re really cute. Also I like Hagakure with Ojirou.

I’ve noticed I stopped caring about ships in this show (and in general), so I don’t put a lot of thought into them (mostly because I want my favorites to either kiss me or my friends who ship with them, so that makes it a little weird).

A pairing that I despise:

Anything illegal. Also I’m not a fan of the romantic Bakudeku ship. I’m not sure how to say this . . . . It’s decent, in theory? The childhood friends/enemies to lovers? I see the appeal, but I don’t like the way Bakugou treated/treats Midoriya and I really don’t see it as being realistic at all (they have no romantic chemistry). No hate to those who ship it or enjoy it, it’s just not for me.

That was a lot, but I like talking about this kind of thing (Tumblr is my only outlet and I don’t even use it most of the time because I feel annoying (I feel annoying typing all of this out aaaa)). Uh, thanks for reading, if you did? Also I’m sorry if this was confusing at all, my brain is scattered 24/7 and just . . . I’m going to stop talking.

The characters don't belong to me. All credits to Marvel or Disney or Stan Lee idk.

So this is my first ever Tumblr Post (人*´∀｀)｡*ﾟ+

Hope you guys will like it.. I'm new to this & I might make some mistakes so I hope you guys can understand and help me throughout my journey (◍•ᴗ•◍)

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Title : Genius, YouTuber, Artist, Musician and Spider-Man

Fandom : MCU

Pairing : Starker(tony stark x peter parker)

Rating : Mature (NSFW, Sexual Content)

Prompt : Social Media

Summary :

Tony started crushing on a guy who is 5 years younger than him... And You all know who that is 😉 one and only Peter Parker.

And Peter has a very famous Youtube channel since he was 6. But he always wears mask in his videos to hide his face. He often mentions his crush on Tony Stark since he was 12 in his videos.

" CHAPTER - 0 "

The notes below are for the things that happened till Peter is 20 from when I'll actually start the story. I didn't wanted to get it all mixed up. So I wrote these so you guys can understand the AU better and how everything came to be and not get confused. It explains everything about Pete's social media, everyone's ages and which part of MCU is included and which is not, and the changes in the whole storyline. So these are must read it if you want to read the actual chapters. (☆▽☆)

Notes :

Tony is 25 year old in this and Pete is 20 and they're both certified geniuses. And they are both Bisexual.

Tony's perants are alive. Pete's uncle Ben is also alive.

Howard is a good parent and husband in this fic and he himself is a Bi so congrats!! No homophobia 🤗

Howard made Tony CEO of the company when he was 22 and only took semi retirement and only went to company once in a while to keep an eye on things. Tony graduated from MIT when he was 17 and then he started helping with company 😀

So Avengers and S. H. I. E. L. D. does exist in this AU but sheild isn't publicly known nor does anyone knows Avengers' real identity that includes Tony's😉 but that was just until New York battle.

Howard and Maria obviously knew about Tony being Iron Man. Tony told them after he came from Afghanistan and created the armor. There was no way to keep it hidden from them. Like all the parents they were reluctant to accept it as it will endanger his life but the accepted it at last.

Tony was kidnapped when he was 19 and when he went to Afganistan for his first ever deal without his father. And bla bla happened and he became Ironman and then he told his father about the Arc reactor tech and told him that there are many other things that can get their company to it's peak and asked him to stop the weapon business and Howard aslo thought about it cause after all he almost lost his one and only son (told ya he is good parent it this one) and then you know what happened 🙃

Howard is alive so no Obadiah Stane.. So no IM 1 events after he came from Afghanistan happened. They hid the fact that tony has arc reactor in his chest though. And world only knew that Iron Man is getting help from SI because of the arc reactor technology in the armor but they could never expect that it's Tony Stark himself. ( yeah yeah I know not very convincing but bear with it cause its a fiction right😅)

Papper, Rhodey and Tony are best friends from childhood cause their parents are friends. So he tell them about IM too. Papper works with him at SI as secretary for few years but when Tony turns 24, He suggest his father to make her CEO and he will be working and providing for Techs and important business deals. And Howard knows his son very well and that doing office stuff ain't getting to Tony plus his IM activities. And Papper was already doing more than half of his paper and meeting work so he makes Papper CEO. And yep Papper and Tony did try relationship but it just didn't clicked so they are still friends and no awkward feelings.

From IM 2, he did get palladium poisoning but he hid it from his family and friends. He did parties and drinking (but without the armor ofcourse) and Rhodey got really angry at his behaviour and recklessness and told him that he will beat him up with his own armour. And then Nat and Fury came and all that injection stuff.. after that he told his father about it and they worked together and made the new element and saved him. After that he apologized to everyone and told the truth and even made Rhodey War Machine suit and Rhodey helped him with it at Expo. Race incident doesn't happen. But Vanko still tried to get revenge by helping Hammer. So Stark expo incident still happened with drones only, not the War Machine armour.

I'll say IM 3 doesn't happen cause we don't have that much time you know fitting all IM parts and then 2 avangers part just within 6 years is impossible 😅

So after that NY invasion happened and Avangers got formed. People didn't know who they atually were just their alter egos and that also not everyone. People were really shocked and afraid after the battle so the government decided to make shield publicly known. Not all the information but just lil bit parts here and there to ensure everyone that there were people and organisation who were ready for something big like this. But it was still not enough to make people safe.

So then Avengers decided that they'll reveal their identities so people will know that there is a group of people who are there and capable enough to save them from something like this and it worked. They did got positive response. But it was uproar it the world. And they had to deal with media and fans. When the world got to know about Tony Stark being Iron Man, SI's PR department was in chaos.

All Avengers are around 24 to 30 except for Wanda and Pietro. They are 21. But they got into team after Ultron and yep Pietro survived.

Events of Captain America and CA : Winter Soldier did happen except for Bucky killing Tony's perants part. And they are both 30. Clint doesn't have secret wife and children (sorry Laura and kids) cause he is 25. Nat is 24. Papper and Rhodes are 27. Thor looks like 28 but is 1500 as we all know. Loki looks like he is 26 and yepp he was mind controlled by Chitauri but he was at Asgard during Age Of Ultron. Sam is 23. Scott is 25 and he is divorced and has a daughter. He is in relationship. Hope is 24. Bruce is 29. (These are their ages at the starting of the 1st chapter, from when I'll actually start writing the story.)

In NY invasion only original 6 were included in Avengers Initiative and after that they lived together too, at the Stark tower which was turned into Avengers Tower. Later Shield recruited others and they trained and did mission together but didn't live with the original 6.

Then Age Of Ultron happened and Vision Wanda and Pietro also joined. At that time they decided to move to the compound Tony built for them in upstate so everyone can live there.

And time period between these all events is smaller than in movies cause you now 6 years time period ain't that long to fit 'em all.

No CW or IW or Endgame happened.

Mary & Richard unfortunately had to die in plane crash 😅 when Pete was 5 so his uncle and aunt looked after him from then.

When Peter was struggling to recover from his parents death, May got an idea to help him *tada* a youtube channel to distract him because she knew Pete liked to watch things on YT. Pete was a genius and he was great at art too and he is an obvious cinnamon roll so she knew it will be a success and Pete will be distracted too. But she didn't want her nephew's face all over the internet if he gets popular and then can't have normal life so she helped him make his videos with him wearing a mask. So here's where Pete's YouTube journey started 🤭

Peter being an adorable and telented and a genius he is, he got famous on YT over the years and got millions of subscribers and views. He even made accounts on other social medias like Insta and Twitter stuff releted to his YT when he was 12 and it was success too he posted his art and photography their. ( His art and videos do contain his fanboying stuff and crushing on Tony Stark🤭)

And yes Pete is Spider-Man. He became SM when he was 13. Same radioactive spider at oscorp stuff but without Ben dying.

Ben has his own business which is good enough to have stable and cozy life with his wife and nephew. May is house wife and she likes to do volenteer work oftenly. They have two story house with a garden and a backyard. Nither too big nor too small.

Ben has always taught Pete about responsibility and righteousness. (With great powers comes great responsibilities.) So when Peter got his powers he decided to help people by being Spider-Man and looking out for little guy. After sometime he told Ben and May about it and they were at first hesitant but then they got over it and were proud of him and supported him.

After a year, it was getting too much at the same time... being at school, managing social media and YT channel, being Spider-Man and all.

Ben and May wanted him to have normal life so even if he was a genius and could graduate early, they still wanted him to complete high school and make friends. But let's be genuine nothing in life is gonna be normal so he told them about his plan to graduate early from both school and college. And he loved his YT and social media cause it helped him so he didn't wanted to stop that and to stop being SM is out of the picture. Ben and May understood him so they allowed him.

He took this opportunity to tell his only 2 and closest friends Ned and MJ about him being SM. He trusts them alot and they didn't disappoint him and even helped him with keeping his secret identity.

So he graduated from high school early, got full scholarship to MIT.

He was fifteen when he saw Iron Man first. He and Ned became fans but Tony was still his idol and his crush. He also started making fanarts about Iron Man on his account. He liked Dr.Banner's work too. He was only 20 when he wrote his thesis about gamma radiation and his books are awesome and he has 7 PhDs by the age of 25.

Peter earned a good amount from his YT channel and he still had money his perants left so he made one of the vacant room in the house his lab after he became SM and he makes videos in his lab after that about his inventions and experiments but ofcourse nothing regarding SM. He and Ned even made a cool SM suit with AI which they named Karen. (The one from the Homecoming) He got his AI inspiration from his Idol's AI called JARVIS. (Tony made JARVIS when he was at MIT and then used him for the company and his lab and he gave an interview about it. That's how Pete knows about it. Tony used Friday for his suits and IM releted activities after he became IM but then after AOU he used Friday for everything.)

Pete's YouTube videos are about everything and anything he loves to do since he was young. When he was young it was about his lil childish science experiments with help of Ben (ofcourse till he could it on his own) or his art or baking and cooking stuff with May and all but they all always wore the different different matching masks while making videos. When he became friends with Ned and MJ, he asked them to be there too. As he got older he started showing his genius brain cells in his experiments and invention. Same goes for his art, it started getting more and more detailed and he also got interested in composing music and songs and he eurned more followers. He even made his accounts unhackable so no one try to find out who he is after he became SM. He had so many happy moments with his family and friends while making his videos, that is why he kept his YT and accounts.

Shield doesn't know who the Spider-Man is. Pete found out about them cause he sensed someone (agents) following him during one of his patrols when he was 14. So he and Ned looked into it and his mind was blown when he found the organisation and all government behind it.

He wanted to know why they were after him cause he only helped people. So they hacked into Shield. He found out that they wanted to recruit him for something called Avangers Initiative and there he saw some other people's and superheroes' information too. (He didn't look into it because he knew that if he didn't anyone want to know his identity, they must not too and he had no right. ) But he knew it was not a good idea to join it cause then he will have to work for them do their missions and he didn't wanted to do that. He wanted to look out for little guy and help whoever, he can wherever he can. Plus he would have to reveal his identity and when they'll know he is so young, they'll try to stop him from being SM plus people close to him will get in danger. And they might even want to experiment on him so it was a big fat NO.

After that he took every cautious step to protect his identity and his aunt, uncle and his friends. He made a security system for their house and made a smart bracelet to communicate or send signal to each other if they were in danger. They all had one including himself. It looked simple and no one could tell it was actually for that.

When Newyork invasion happened, he was not there. He was at MIT for his PhD. He was so damn worried about Ben, May, Ned and MJ. The moment he heard the news he left for NY but by the time he got there the fight had been finished. So he directly went to check on May and Ben. He found them safe and was revealed. Then he called Ned and MJ to check on them and their families and found everyone was ok. After that he told May and Ben that he will go out and help people from the aftermath of the battle.

He stayed in NY for 2 weeks. In which he found out about the Avengers. He and Ned were shocked at the name and that it was the same Avengers Initiative stuff they read when they hacked into the sheild and Peter felt a pinch of guilt but it disappeared when he learnt that Avengers revealed their identities. He was in no condition to reveal his identity.

He was shocked when he learnt Avengers' identities especially Iron Man. He was like "how could I not understand that it had to be Tony.. there were all those connection like SI and no one is such a genius to make that kind of Tech except for his idol. He fell in love with Tony even more but he just thought it was some kind of superhero worship and teenage crush.

After that Ned and him being the 'nerds' as MJ calls them they are, they become fanboys and started to find out more thing about Avengers. Pete started to post more fanarts of them and he even made the reaction video of how he feels about Tony Stark being Iron Man and Bruce Banner being Hulk. Both his favourite scientists. He even made a song for Avengers. Which was total hit so he made more songs in the future.

Pete graduated from MIT even earlier than his Idol Tony Stark at the age of 16. He got his PHD in Biochemical Engineering at 17 and he wanted to get more Phds in Robotics, Nenotech Engeneering study and Astrophysics. (Which he did within next 2 years.) (Pete was 16 when NY invasion happened and 19 when Ultron happened)

And then Ultron happened, it was all over the news and all but Avangers once again saved the world. Pete was happy and revealed that there were Avengers to save them from world ending dangers but there gotta be someone down on the street too. Someone to help people from criminal and other dangers which may seem little in their or government's eye like Rhino, Doc Oct, Green Goblin, lizard, electro and many more with whom he fought. And he felt that his decision to not join Avengers Initiative was right. Though Shield was still eager to find out who he is like he will let them.

And then Homecoming happened except the part with Tony. ( But Peter doesn't go to homecoming because he graduated from high school )

As for the Ferry incident he saved everyone. He held the both part of ferry with his web and his strength ( Pete is very very strong in this fic ) till his latest Nenotech bot he invented arrived and held the ferry together and mend it. (Like Iron Man did. Just that it were bots who fixed the last part too. Where Tony flys around it and mend it.)

Peter had figured out the arc reactor technology a year and half ago but he didn't wanted any one to know cause it will attract the attention of many people and he didn't wanted that. That is also the reason he doesn't use his Nenotech suit he made. ( IW one ) But now that he has used his nenobots and his tech which was even better and cheaper, he knew for sure that it's going to fireback but he thought he'll take care of it later when he is not busy trying to capture a curtain alian tech loaded weapon selling Vulture.

Next day he had asked Karen to keep and eye over everything and at night Karen informed him about some movements at some abandoned warehouse. Then the whole warehouse dropping and plane crashing thing happened. He saved the Mr.stark's tech and averages stuff and weapons.

But now he will even have more attention but he then ask Karen to clear CCTV footage around the beach so no one knows about him leaving from the scene. He can only hope now. He'll have to lay low for now and even more careful.

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Hope you guys will like it. I have thought so much for this fic. It's going to be exciting writing this.

I’ve seen a lot of (obviously nsfw) Gaara/Naruto fanfics where Gaara has a praise kink, but consider the opposite...

Naruto spends his whole life just wanting to be acknowledged by other people, and it doesn’t even end there. Even after Sasuke “acknowledges” Naruto when they’re both in the academy, Naruto can’t bear to lose that “acknowledgement” from Sasuke. He’s one of those people that can’t accept the fact that some people just won’t like you. He needs to be friends with everyone, and I think a lot of this comes from growing up as an orphan and having most of the village automatically looking down on him/hating him. Obviously being alone an outcast by society sucks, so when he gets his first taste of friendship (Iruka, Sasuke, Sakura, etc.) he is terrified of losing those bonds. He never wants to go back to the loneliness he faced before, and he doesn’t understand that it’s okay to grow apart. 

Naruto grew up around other kids, and even though he was often left out, he got to see how they interacted with each other normally. He saw them make friends and have crushes and develop these relationships that he could only dream about. So, growing up, he would notice when certain interactions were missing from his own life. He would notice that even after making friends, he was known as the “goofball” or the “knucklehead” and sure, he doesn’t mind being known as those things (and is probably somewhat proud of it tbh) but he’s never the handsome one, or the cool one (Hinata thinks so but he’s never shown to notice or realize that). If someone is nervous around him, it’s because they are afraid of Kyuubi, not because they particularly care about what Naruto thinks of them. And Naruto would grow up noticing that...but, at the same time, he feels like he’s lucky to have any friends at all. Anything is better than how it was before he joined the academy, so he doesn’t feel like he has the right to want anything more than that.

And people are always calling him “dead last” or “dumb,” and they’re not exactly wrong (in context). But...when has anyone really given Naruto a compliment? The closest I can think is during the chuunin exams when Sasuke says he wants to fight Naruto because he’s gotten strong (which is maybe another reason why Naruto is unable to let Sasuke go, this was the first person to actually praise him).

On the other hand, Gaara had an isolated childhood, but in a different way. The first few years of his life, he had a pretty healthy relationship with Yashamaru (if I remember correctly). He is still kept away from other kids since he’s 1. the Kazekage’s son and 2. a jinchuuriki that people are afraid of, but Yashamaru is there to make him feel safe and loved and important. So, at least in the beginning, he’s not starved for praise or attention the way that Naruto was. Also, since he doesn’t really get to socialize with other kids ever, he doesn’t know what he’s missing. He doesn’t get to experience other kids and their crushes and friendships and rivalries and all of that. 

Then of course Yashamaru betrays him, and that severely breaks Gaara’s mind. He goes on a rampage, he decides he doesn’t need anyone else and that he’s just going to live for himself, completely independently. It’s unhealthy, and deep down he’s lonely, but at the same time, he’s not really seeking anyone’s approval. He knows (or he thinks he knows) what he is, and he accepts it. He wants to be accepted for who he knows he is, and that’s why Naruto is able to get through to him, because Naruto understands exactly what he’s been through and can accept him for the good and the bad. This is what makes Gaara realize that it’s possible for others to accept him for who he is as well, and he begins to establish relationships with his siblings.

Fast forward three years. Gaara has become Kazekage. He’s friends with his siblings, and many of Naruto’s friends as well. He put a lot of hard work into establishing himself as a respected leader, and I feel like, at that point, he had really come to terms with himself. He knows who he is and who he was, and he knows that things change and that people come and go. He’s happy with his small close-knit circle, and he doesn’t care about outside validation because he’s spent years being independent. The only remaining hurt he has comes from Yashamaru’s betrayal (understandably), but he seems to accept it is what it is.

Naruto spends two and a half years away from everyone, hiding because he’s a jinchuuriki, honing his skills in order to chase down Sasuke. Most of his motivations are external. He comes back to the village and everyone has changes and that is uncomfortable for him (though it’s some consolation that they missed him).

I still can’t think of a time where anyone is openly praising him until after the fight with Pein, where he becomes known as the hero of Konoha...and I feel like even that would be a bit of a hollow victory for him because ultimately he failed and it was Kyuubi that came to the rescue. 

More fast forwarding to when Gaara fights the resurrected Fourth Kazekage during the war. His father tells him that he ordered Yashamaru to kill him. That Yashamaru and his mother really did love him. We see that this finally closes one of the most painful open wounds that Gaara has carried with him for his entire life. This is the point where he really can put his main insecurities to rest and fully heal. The most traumatic events of his life finally make sense, and while they still bring up painful memories, it’s like the hole in his heart has been sealed (I’m explaining this poorly but there’s a really good YouTube video about this by Sage’s Rain called ‘What is Love’). We see later during the Infinite Tsukuyomi that Gaara’s dream is to just have a happy loving family (and Naruto). I think it’s at this point we can see that Gaara is finally completely confident in himself. 

Meanwhile, Naruto makes friends with Kyuubi (”I’m coming for all that hate in you too”). Besides the Sage of the Six paths, no one had ever befriended a tailed beast--but it’s just in Naruto’s nature, he won’t give up, he will make friends, and he won’t let go. He states multiple times throughout the series that he feels like he’s the only one who can understand Sasuke’s pain, and that he’s okay if they fight each other to the death. He “needs” to save Sasuke, he can’t let their friendship get away from him. The second time they fight in the Valley of the End, he does not give up. Sasuke is the one who finally gives up. Naruto needs Sasuke, he needs their friendship, he needs that external validation.

The series (at least the anime and ch. 699 of the manga) end without Naruto becoming Hokage. But wasn’t that his whole goal from the very beginning? To become Hokage because...because he wanted the village to acknowledge him. He deeply craves that love and affection that he was missing throughout his childhood (and adolescence for that matter). The series ends with him “getting Sasuke back” because his real end game was to get that acknowledgement, that attention, that affection.

SO

All of that was a really long-winded ramble-y way of saying that I 100% think Naruto would have a praise kink, whereas Gaara wouldn’t be that affected by praise (at least, not any more than the average person). Also Gaara compliments Naruto left and right, and Naruto would be so weak to that. And once Gaara figured that out, he would be just be nonstop with the praise and the random compliments because he wants Naruto to feel safe and loved and wanted too.

Welcome to the third and final part of our staff interview series! This set of interviews focus on some of our most social staff members - our Discord moderators and our social media team. Once again, these pixies had a lot to say, so we’re tucking all of it under the “Keep reading” link!

WTP’s Discord server is the main place for the community to come together - in fact, we just passed 6,000 members! It’s extremely important to keep the server as safe and friendly as possible, and that’s where our beloved moderators come through. Without them, we wouldn’t have the loving WTP community!

Our moderators are Lila Almondpetal, Gloria Flutterflower, Daphne Moonflower, Anastasia Foxheart, Rose Morningmist, and Kassie.

What are some of your favorite memories about the original Pixie Hollow? And what are some things that you’re excited to see again in WTP?

Daphne: If I had to choose only one favorite thing then it would be shopping in Pixie Hollow especially those GORGEOUS gowns from the Queen's Boutique. It was the luxury store of Pixie Hollow, and the gowns they had were on a whole different level. I used to play Pixie Hollow every day as a kid and I even convinced my dad to get me the annual membership. I was able to make a lot of friends from different parts of the world because of the game. My best memories of the game are of Camp Pixie Dust! As for what I’m excited to see in WTP, I am exhilarated about the Tearoom and Animal Derby coming back since those were the only places you could play with other players. They were always packed with other fairies and sparrowmen and I used to hang out in those two places the most.

In her interview, Daphne sent us some pictures of two of her favorite things in Pixie Hollow - a couple of screenshots of Camp Pixie Dust and her favorite gown from the Queen’s Boutique.

Anastasia: Honestly? As a kid, I spent most of my time attending the parties. The minigames there were always so addicting! Gameplay wise, I loved baking and tailoring! I wasn't as invested in it as other Disney MMOs because I never was able to get a Pixie Hollow Membership, but I still loved to play it! It influenced my decision to play the DS games, as well as the Fashion Boutique mobile game! I will say that my love of the original Pixie Hollow has benefited my life in many ways as without it, I wouldn't have so many memories with friends I've made along the way. Also, I would've never found WTP! I think one of my best memories from Pixie Hollow has to be from the one party where I won almost all of the party games. I was pretty young when I was really into Pixie Hollow, so although it's a bit silly, I just remember feeling super proud and feeling like the queen of the party, haha! As a kid, I never really appreciated the quests (although I did do them), so I am excited for those to come back & relive that experience. However, since WTP will not have a paywall for any of the experiences from the original Pixie Hollow, I am incredibly excited to explore The Wilderness for the first time!

Lila: My favorite part of the original game was honestly how open and free it was! There was always so much to do in the game, but I never felt pressured to do any of it if I didn't want to. I could go crazy one day playing games and doing quests, and then I could spend the next day flying around, just admiring the scenery and doing absolutely nothing in terms of progress. There were no obligations at all - I think that's why I remember the game so well. I was also really invested in it - I actually kept a journal about what I did in the game, can you believe it? I would say it's made my life better in a couple of ways - when the game was still open, it was a fantastic stress reliever, and even now I love thinking about it (plus, it led me to WTP!). As for my favorite memory… well, there are so many! I'd have to say my favorite was the time a Sparrow Man and I flirted in the Tearoom using nothing but those preset Speedchat phrases. I don't know who started it, but I'm pretty sure we were both non-members at the time - maybe we were drawn together by those Arrival Day outfits. We ended up drawing a crowd; I remember seeing a lot of clapping emojis and hearts. It was insane! Sadly, we forgot to add each other as friends, so we never saw each other again. I just got out my old journal to check if I wrote down his name - and I apparently did! Figfig, my guy, if you’re out there, I was either Twilight Olivemist or Karina Lightningflame at the time. As for what I’m excited for, I'm super excited for all of the meadows to come back! I loved just flying around and seeing all of the gorgeous artwork. And multiplayer, of course - Pixie Hollow was such a social game. I loved those little things like sitting on a branch and chatting.

Gloria: My favorite part of the original game was definitely the community aspect! I made a lot of friends in Pixie Hollow that were really special to me. It was so much fun to play games and throw parties with other pixies in the Hollow! I played the original game from January 2009 to its closing in 2013. I was really invested in the game and played very often! It definitely helped me embrace my inner child and hold onto magic longer than a lot of my peers, something I am grateful for. One great memory I have of the game was the events. I specifically loved the Silly Days Event, which allowed users to access the Mermaid Grotto. And Camp Pixie Dust, of course! For WTP, I am super excited for questing! It was a really unique experience every time and led to neat storylines which allowed players to unlock some cool items. I really liked the added structure of quests in game.

Rose: I was mildly obsessed with Pixie Hollow for a good majority of my childhood. I was picked on quite a bit when I was younger, so Pixie Hollow became this sort of safe haven for me, where I could express myself without fear of judgement. I spent a lot of my time roleplaying with online friends, pretending to be waitresses in the Tearoom, or secret agents fighting crime and protecting the Hollow – it was a lot of fun. Some of my first ever story ideas came from some of those roleplays, which lead to me starting a blog and later pursuing a career as an author, so I actually owe a lot to the game and the friends I made there. My favorite thing was probably decorating my home – I loved creating different settings with all the furniture I had, from cafés to ice palaces. It was a lot of fun. I'm super excited for multiplayer – I’ve made so many friends through the PBC (Pixie Blogging Community) and WTP, so I can’t wait for when we can hang out in-game.

Kassie: I played Pixie Hollow starting in late 2008 until it closed! Every day after school I would grab my snack and head to the computer to play for at LEAST an hour. Narrowing down my favorite part of the game is so hard!! But if I had to choose I would say getting creative with outfits and color combos! I loved going to fashion contests and seeing other people's creations- that's actually how I met a lot of my friends. I think Pixie Hollow benefited me as a way to escape from the stresses of the real world. Middle school and early high school were difficult seasons for me and it was nice to venture into a mystical land where I felt people truly cared for me. One of my favorite memories was when I met my friend Strawberry. We were mutual friends with someone and we both went to her house at the same time. However, our friend was asleep (remember the lil z's?) and so we started talking and suddenly we became the best of friends! Over 10 years later we are still friends and catch up with each other once in a while. We don't live far from each other so we hope to meet each other someday! Honestly, I’m most excited to have house decorating in WTP! I remember people would spend HOURS decorating their homes and doing the coolest designs- I always concentrated more on fashion so I'd love the chance to redeem myself and design an awesome home!

How did you first find out about the WTP project and what inspired you to start working as a moderator?

Kassie: A lot of my close friends started up the project and eventually invited me to be a part of it as a moderator! In our friend group I tended to be the one to mediate conversations, so I think it was a no-brainer to ask me to moderate.

Daphne: When I got to know about Club Penguin rewrites, I thought there might be a rewrite for Pixie Hollow as well and I stumbled upon a YouTube video which mentioned WTP. I really wanted to help out with the project in any way I could so that really motivated me to become a moderator.

Anastasia: I actually found out about the WTP project through Teresa, on another Pixie Hollow site where she first posted the Bubble Bounce demo! She even DM'd me about potentially helping out as an artist, which I've always wanted to do! However, due to my schedule being a bit too busy to consistently help out with game art, I never felt like I could apply. However, I've always tried to help out in other ways, such as when I was an Event Manager & hosted movie nights! When it was decided that movie nights were going to take a hiatus, I really wanted to continue helping out in the community, and thus, I became a mod!

Lila: I first found out about We The Pixies when I joined a Club Penguin rewrite. I hadn't thought about Pixie Hollow in years, but then I wondered if someone else had rewritten Pixie Hollow, so I looked it up and found WTP! As for joining the moderation team, I'd been pretty active on the server when the application opened up, and I really loved the community. I figured I'd give it a shot - worst they could say was no, right? Well, I ended up getting the role! It’s been a really great job ever since.

Gloria: I found out about We the Pixies while doing some Google searches and checking out the Pixie Hollow community this year. I definitely jumped at the opportunity to apply to be a moderator because I have so much passion for the project and wanted to help out and connect with others who also had interest. 

Rose: I found WTP through Phoebe Bumbleflip’s blog – she published a post promoting the remake and the Discord back in October last year. I don’t have any skills that can really help with the recreation of the game itself, but I wanted to contribute in any way I could, which is what inspired me become a moderator.

(Phoebe is a member of the WTP Hype Squad, you can find her blog here!)

The WTP community is mostly positive, but have you ever had instances where you felt like server members weren't being the nicest? If so, how do you deal with it?

Anastasia: Since I'm new to the staff team, I've only ever come across a handful of issues involving the members, and most of them resolve with ease. Typically, directing people to the rules and giving them a warning is enough.

Lila: With so many people in the server, it's not unusual to see something that isn't so friendly - usually, if an argument starts up in the chat, reminding people of the rules or starting a new conversation fixes things. If things are really bad, I might talk to someone individually and ask them nicely to be, well, nicer.

Gloria: In my time on the staff so far, we have had a couple trolls and people who haven't complied with the rules, and in that situation, we generally like to calmly message the person and ask them to comply with the server rules. In my experience thus far, this usually sorts out the problem. However, if the issue persists, the moderation team would consult each other and figure out how to deal with it further based on the severity of the behavior.

Rose: They’re very rare, but we have had to deal with some disputes with upset or angry members. Usually us moderators will talk and discuss the issue and then decide the best course of action together.

Kassie: There's always going to be someone unkind who comes across the server every now and then. I think the best way to handle it is to tell them what rule they're breaking and WHY it's important that they adhere to the rule. Ultimately, our rules are about respecting everyone in the community. If we can help them empathize and understand respect I think that's making strides not only in the WTP community but hopefully in EVERY community that individual is a part of.

We've had a few events in the WTP community, how does creating one come about and how do you plan it?

Anastasia: Excellent question! As a former Event Manager, I'm the right Pixie to ask!

It all starts with the approval of administration. Once the admins approve of it (and other staff have no issues with it), you can go forward and begin scheduling a time. We typically don't do events without having a proper schedule or time frame. We also try to accommodate other time zones as best as we can, since we know that WTP has Pixies from across the globe! Then, you need to designate certain responsibilities to people. This was the purpose of the Event Managers, since we were in charge of hosting Movie/Game Night. I have a lot of good memories hosting movie nights with Alchemist (Lavender) and Asteria! With other events, staff members are chosen to have either a leading role or a helping hand in making sure the event goes smoothly. Even if they aren't in charge, it is important to note that all events typically require staff supervision. Now, planning it typically involves a discussion among the staff (and any other WTP players that may be involved in helping out). We usually try to make sure that the community voice is heard, and that they can get involved! Our main goal is always to bring everyone together while having fun, and that is the foundation of all our events.

Daphne: The Hype Squad is the creative mind behind all the events we have. Since we can not have in-game events (which we definitely will once the game is fully developed), the Hype Squad tries to come up with flitterific events to keep us in the pixie hollow spirit while we wait. Our former team of event managers was behind the shorter events such as the numerous game nights and movie nights.

Lila: Starting an event is absolutely a team effort - no matter where or who the idea comes from, we like to talk about it for a while first. For example, I had the idea for Meadow Madness one night out of the blue, and I made sure to run it by the staff and Hype Squad before I started anything up. It ended up being a huge success - we had an average of 200 respondents per round, which was pretty neat for something I came up with in ten minutes.

Rose: There’s quite a bit of planning that goes on behind the scenes for events – a lot of events are actually planned by the Hype Squad (which I am a part of) or our social media team. An idea will be presented by a team member, and then we’ll all discuss it – what our thoughts are on the suggestion, and how we’d go about holding it if it were to become an actual event. If everyone on the team agrees and the staff are okay with it, we’ll then start deciding dates for the event and preparing things like banners and announcement posts. Sometimes we’ll also have one of our members act as coordinator too, to make sure everything is running smoothly during the event itself.

Kassie: I'm personally not one of the head honchos who puts events together, but it comes down to listening to a bunch of ideas and trying to figure out which one best fits the needs and desires of the community!

How do you fit working on WTP into your schedule?

Daphne: I finished high school in April and I can't really start college until quarantine is over, so I pretty much don't have anything to do at home right now so it's easy for me to make time for WTP.

Anastasia: I try my best to moderate whenever I can- usually in my spare time. We get a lot of newcomers each day, so there always seems to be someone who needs help getting verified, or a Pixie who needs some other sort of assistance. That's the thing about having such a large community: we always seem to have some moderating to do!

Lila: I actually have the apps I need for moderation (and social media work) on my phone - now that I'm not in school for the summer, I'm traveling a lot, so I don't sit down and use my laptop very often. I think I use Discord on my phone more than my laptop, actually. Using mobile lets me check the server whenever I have a spare moment, so I can keep up with things wherever I go.

Gloria: I have a really flexible schedule in general as school and life goes, so I am able to make time to moderate and spend a lot of time online.

Rose: Mostly by multitasking – I’m almost always online, even if I’m doing other things, so it’s not too tricky to keep an eye on the server throughout the day.

Kassie: It's hard sometimes, but the easiest way for me to stay connected is to keep my notifications on when I'm not busy with the mandatory things in life like my job, planning my wedding, and investing in relationships outside of the community. Giving myself the chance to walk away here and there leaves me refreshed for the next time I log on!

Two of our moderators, Kassie and Lila, also serve on our social media team, so we asked them a special question:

How do you use social media to grow the community?

Lila: Social media is a great place to post about game updates and community events. I've found that few posts get people more excited than posts about new game features. Update posts also let people know that, yes, we are still up and running! Sometimes people think we've shut down already, and social media helps us keep the project alive.

Kassie: Social Media is all about messages. I think what attracts people to join a community is to send a message they resonate with! In WTP's case, nostalgia plays a huge part in growing our community- we are trying to attract people who are excited about something they wish they had again.

One final question for all of our moderators: what’s your favorite part of your job, and is there a way it’s benefited you?

Daphne:  Definitely talking and getting to know so many people from across the globe. I'm always down for making new friends! For me, the most impact moderating for WTP has had is on my people skills. As a moderator, you have to ensure that everyone is following the rules and sometimes people need convincing to follow a rule. It also involves solving any issues related to the game/Discord server and communicating with the members in general, which really develops your people skills.

Anastasia: Honestly, my favorite part of being a mod is being able to interact with the other staff members. They're a really lovely and creative group of people, and it's fun bouncing ideas off of each other and figuring out what's best for everyone in this community! I wouldn't quit WTP for the world! Working for WTP has benefited me a lot as so far, it's helped me work on the ways I can help organize a community. Also, it is helping me work on my time management skills, as well as my ability to work in a team.

Lila: I think my favorite part of my job is, as corny as it sounds, watching this community grow! When I joined, we had maybe 500 users in the server, and we're well over 6000 now. I never thought that so many people would remember the game, but they do. It's remarkable, really. Working for WTP is probably the best volunteer position I've ever taken up. Moderating has really helped me learn how to think things through and get help when I need it. Working on social media has also been great for my writing and graphic design skills - I've got to say that I've gotten pretty good at color combinations!

Gloria: My favorite part of moderating is helping people in the player server and sparking interest and discussion among users. It's so much fun to reminisce about the hollow with other fans. Though I haven't been on the team for a very long time, it has already been lots of fun and I have really enjoyed connecting with the community even more and getting others interested in the revival project. And the other staff members are very cool people that are really rad to work with.

Rose: My favorite part of my job is welcoming new people to the server! Being a moderator has definitely helped with my problem-solving skills – working out ways to handle situations on the server.

Kassie: Being friends with the staff is my favorite part. It is always a joy to log on to laugh and learn with friends. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Asteria and I have created a pretty strong friendship (hopefully she agrees, haha). We've known each other for about 4 years now. She makes me laugh out loud and we've been there for each other in our victories and failures. Her friendship is one I deeply cherish and I hope we get to meet sometime in the future! I care a lot about connection, community, and friendship, so for me, being a part of this team is a way for me to foster those things and be a part of it! I think I've benefited from WTP by learning how to guide hard conversations and disagreements in a respectful manner. Many people think moderators just manage the community, but a huge part of our job is to aid staff in having constructive conversations. There are definitely ruffled wings here and there, but we always get through and I've really grown through those processes!

__________________

Thank you all so much for sticking with us during our interview series! We had a lot of fun answering your questions, and we hope you had a flaptastic time reading them.

In complete curiosity, can you tell me what your favorite Smash reveal trailer of all time was?

Like, actually, real shit, stuff that’s already happened in this timeline?

Nothing will ever top Smash 4’s reveal for me. I was really into Brawl as a kid, and after Brawl came out a lot of people spread the idea online that it would be the last smash game (hilarious in hindsight, I know). Me, being the dumb kid I was, took that at face value. I also wasn’t really into following leaks at the time. I was also 12, almost 13 when 4 was revealed, keep in mind. I just sort of accepted that smash was done.

I vividly remember when I first saw that reveal trailer. We were in the middle of bumfuck nowhere for my sister’s soccer game. I was sweaty, hungry, and my phone was running out of battery. I managed to convince my mom to let me stay in the car for the rest of the game, where I promptly began charging my phone and went onto YouTube to pull up some music to listen to (knowing me at the time, it probably would’ve been an Evanescence song). And there, at the top of my recommended feed, was that trailer.

It almost didn’t feel real. I was so convinced that Smash was over, I almost thought that the video would’ve been a fake. Some shitty mod or whatever. But I clicked on it anyways, because, y’know, Smash Bros! Boy am I glad I did. Instantly, I was enthralled by the idea of Smash on the go. I didn’t have a 3DS at the time, but I played on my DS like I was getting paid for every second the screen was on. Having a portable smash game was a dream come true! And when they got to the Wii U part of the trailer, I was drawn in by the visual upgrade compared to Brawl. I was a dumb kid who didn’t know anything about graphics watching this trailer in 480p on a shitty Windows phone, and even I could tell how much of a graphics upgrade it was compared to Brawl. I didn’t have a Wii U at the time either, but I was still excited.

The new characters announced were just the icing on the cake. I love Animal Crossing, but I never expected an Animal Crossing rep in smash because I read that Sakurai had previously said that Animal Crossing characters were unsuited for battle. So when that trailer opened up on a shot of the Villager opening the now iconic envelope, my hype levels instantly shot through the roof of the car. Really, I should consider myself lucky that I was watching this trailer in the middle of an empty parking lot in the middle of nowhere and not, say, on the bus ride home from school, because after that point, I was visibly freaking out throughout. I would’ve been perfectly satisfied with just Villager, but then the trailer continued. The videos online right now show these two as separate videos, but I definitely remember watching them as one big trailer.

NEW CHALLENGER APPROACHING!

Oh boy, who could it be? The gang looked up at a cliff to see a boy with distinct spiky hair.

“No. There’s no way it could be him. There’s just no way! I read online that he couldn’t get in, so it’s not him.”

Blip!

“OH MY GOD IT IS HIM HOLY SHIT IT’S MEGA MAN FUCKING MEGA MAN HOLY S H I T!”

It didn’t feel real. It felt like a dream. But I was loving every second of it. And even better, the next video in my recommended feed was the trailer for Wii Fit Trainer. What? Why? Who asked for this? I was dumbfounded, but all for it.

I think that those three characters made for the perfect holy trinity of character reveals. The anticipated first party/character Sakurai previously said no to, the third party, and the character that nobody saw coming. Smash 4’s initial reveal had it all. I probably rewatched that trailer for the rest of the soccer game. I texted all my friends about it, and they were all nearly as excited as I was. I would’ve told my mom and sister all about it when they got back in the car, but I wasn’t supposed to be using data at the time, so if they knew that I had used it to watch a silly reveal trailer over and over again, mom probably would’ve had a heart attack (this was before unlimited data was more standard). But you better believe that I exploded on about it as soon as I figured it was safe to.

Even after all these years (and all of the timelines I’ve looked into), no Smash trailer...no, more like no trailer period has ever gotten close to capturing the pure excitement that I felt when I first saw the Smash 4 trailer, and I doubt that there ever will be one. I’m a jaded adult now, and everything is more exciting through the rose-tinted glass of adolescence. The “Everyone is Here!” trailer for Ultimate came close, though. Smash 4’s development was also something of a turning point for me when I became more active in following the development of new games online. I think it was for a lot of people, I think that a lot of that can be attributed to Brawl’s success (and the Wii as a whole) at capturing a wider demographic of gamers compared to Melee and 64. Smash 4 feels almost laughable to go back and play now, but I can’t deny the impact it had on me.

As far as other individual reveal trailers go, here are my favorites:

Little Mac and Palutena-both for the same reason: THAT ART STYLE. Their trailers also convinced me to play their respective games. Uprising was one of my first 3DS games and Punch Out is the last game I remember renting from Blockbuster.

Greninja-As laughable as this sounds now, getting a new Pokémon rep was really hype for me back then. I was beginning to get into competitive, so seeing the ninja frog that had taken over the competitive scene at the time get into smash was cool, even if I was Team Fennekin. Confirmation that at least Charizard had survived the cut was also really cool.

Robin and Lucina-I didn’t know anything about Fire Emblem at the time, but Robin looked cool and I was digging the 3D anime artstyle from Awakening that the trailer was rendered in. Another trailer that convinced me to buy the game that they were from, and good god now I’m an insufferable Fire Emblem fan good lord I was so innocent back then. “Girl Marth” jokes were rampant amongst my friends. Also, CAPTAIN FALCON!!!

Lucas-Funny story, my sister absolutely despises video games with a burning, visceral passion now, but back when we played Brawl together, her mains were Lucas and Snake. You can imagine the pain and agony she felt when Smash 4 initially came out. Lucas’ DLC came out around my birthday, so her gift to me that year was a $10 eShop card. She just told me: “you know what to spend it on.”

Cloud-“Hey guys, you know what would’ve been awesome? In Brawl, if, like, they put in Cloud from Final Fantasy 7?”

Corrin-At this point I was a big Fire Emblem fan riding hot on the hype train for Fates, so I was very excited for Corrin. The dragon-inspired moveset also seemed really cool. Funny how times have changed, and when Byleth was added in I was very lukewarm compared to when my reaction to Corrin.

Inkling-Similar story to the Smash 4 reveal trailer, I was absolutely not expecting a Smash announcement that day and I saw the video was in my YouTube recommended feed while I was at my internship of all places. Unfortunately, none of the other people there were gamers (let alone Smash fans), so they couldn’t share in my hype.

Everyone is Here/Ridley-I can’t properly give this one the justice it deserves in a short amount of words and this post is already getting really long, so I’ll save this one for a later day if you guys are interested. To keep it short, let’s just say that I was very much a part of the Ridley gang and I was very happy to see him in.

Belmonts and K. Rool-I got up at 7 in the morning to watch that trailer and loved every second of it. Keep in mind that I am not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination. The only thing that sort of spoiled it for me was that the Smash teams themselves leaked it the night before by releasing a track titled Bloody Tears/Monster Dance

Ken and Incineroar-Nothing against these two, but at the time I was crushed when I realized the Grinch leak was fake. Now I can look back on it and laugh at Little Mac getting yeeted through the billboard and Villager’s stance at the end of the trailer.

Sans Mii Costume-Pretty sure I’ve already mentioned this, but when I first saw that trailer I legit fell out of my chair laughing. I’m not even an Undertale fan, but seeing funny skeleton man on my screen just broke me. The fact that Toby went to Sakurai’s house and beat him in Smash made it even better.

Banjo-I’ve never actually played a Banjo Kazooie game before, but I’ve seen enough videos about them over the years that I almost feel like I have. They’re ingrained in my childhood due to that in a weird way. Plus, it felt so good to have a victory over the Steve fans. I felt the weight of that Jiggy that bounced on the floor.

And that’s about it! If you guys want to hear my thoughts on the Everyone is Here trailer, please let me know and I’ll do another post like this.

...Upon rereading this post for spelling errors, I realized that you probably were more asking about my favorite reveal trailers throughout multiple timelines. Oops. Let me know if that’s what you wanted and I’ll answer with my thoughts on my favorite future reveal trailers.

An Explanation of Why Louis and Violet are Both Terrific Love Interests [1/5]

+Why both romantic routes are not only amazing but better than other games I’ve personally played in the past. 

+Why some people are idiots and get off on picking stupid fights. 

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Grab a beverage and sit down, I’m about to weave you a tale. 

A long time ago, I made an Instagram account. I did this so that I could have another place to intake TWDG content. I got to see lots of artwork and watch fun little videos and edits and it was all great. 

For about an hour before everything went downhill far too quickly. You see, I rarely go on that Instagram account anymore because no matter what tag I look under to search for content, a good 60% of it is all the same: hateful. 

Hateful towards Violet, hateful towards Louis, hateful towards each other. I can’t tell you how many posts I’ve scrolled past with the title “TELLTALE AND SKYBOUND HATE LOUIS AND HERE’S WHY” or “VIOLET IS THE WORST AND HERE’S WHY” or “WHY VIOLENTINE IS CANON AND CLOUIS IS NOT” or any other nonsense along those lines. 

After that, I quit going on Instagram. 

Until one day, I thought to myself, “Well, maybe now that the game is over, those dingdongs have moved on and I can look at the twdg tag in peace!”

And to be fair, it wasn’t as bad, but it’s still actively being made. Along with other questionable content that I think has taken hours off of my life just by witnessing it but we’re not going to dive down that rabbit hole right now. 

Anyway, after glancing over another “SKYBOUND HATES LOUIS” post, I couldn’t help but think, “Y’know, either y’all don’t realize how lucky we were to have gotten a bisexual lead with not only one great romantic option but two amazing romantic options, or y’all are just a bunch of idiots who get off on fighting. Maybe even both. I mean, sure, they’re not equal in every single way possible and there are a lot of things that I wanted, but it’s a helluva lot better than what we’ve been given in the past with other games.”

The thoughts kept building up as I recalled previous games that had optional romances that left me underwhelmed or downright disappointed. Neither Louis nor Violet have perfect romance routes, each with things that we wish we had more of, but we’re lucky to have gotten what we did, and because I haven’t written a post like this in a long time, allow me to break it down for you. 

Keep in mind that this is just my opinion and how I see things. I’m sure there’ll be a point where you say “Well, CJ, I beg to differ on this particular topic and/or idea-” and that’s fine. 

Hell, maybe you have a game with a disappointing romance that I didn’t list here because I’ve yet to play it. That’s great, feel free to share! This post is for fun but also because I need to vent some frustrations towards a fight that is 100% unnecessary but continues regardless. 

Beware of spoilers for the following games:

Life is Strange Persona 4 TWDG: A New Frontier King’s Quest [2015] Catherine

[both Louis and Violet are great!]

all y’all on instagram are just idiots

Now, in case you couldn’t tell from my blog, I love Louis. When it comes to my personal canon of TWDG, clouis is my endgame. Louis is my favorite non-playable character of the entire series, if not my absolute favorite. I love him. 

You know who else I love? Violet. She’s great. I found myself relating a lot to her character and I wanted to see her make it to the end okay. I was pissed when she was pissed at me, but in the end, I was more pissed about her treatment regarding her blinding and how easily she and Clementine made up. 

But you know what I really, truly love? A great bisexual protagonist: Clementine. 

Clementine’s the lucky one here in that she has the choice between sweet, charming, loyal Louis and witty, strong yet sensitive Violet. This is the definition of “bi panic” because really

I do want to add that I haven’t played Violet’s romance route, but I don’t need to to know that it’s great. There are a thousand and one blogs who can explain her romance with Clementine 100% better than I can, but I will try my best within this section and my conclusion since I’m mostly talking about them together.

Now, why is it great that Clementine is a bisexual protagonist? Well, there’s obviously the representation which was more than welcome in this case, regardless of what some idiots will say. 

Not only that, but it allows the player to romance a boy or a girl, which again, is obvious but I have some points about this that I’ll bring up when I talk about other games, like Life is Strange and Persona 4, so put a little pin in that for later. 

Both Louis and Violet are presented as loving partners for Clementine, and they’re both people who Clementine cares about. Based on your choices and how you play her, you can be as affectionate with them as possible and help them better themselves over the course of the game. 

Louis and Violet have different but interesting backstories, they have different ways of communicating their feelings, they both deal with their own struggles [internal and external] and open up to Clementine in different ways. 

Yes, there was plenty to be desired within the routes. We’ve talked about that before so I won’t go into great detail about it, but in conclusion: Louis and Violet are great. 

So why do people argue about it?

My scientific conclusion states that they’re idiots who get off on picking fights over the internet. 

And that they don’t know how good they got it because we could’ve gotten so, SO much worse. 

At this point, I will be comparing the Louis/Violet romance to romances found in other games I’ve played, starting with a game that I liked very much, but was ultimately disappointed with, well.... everything. 

[life is strange and imbalance]

every choice matters except not really until we hit episode 5: bae vs bay

Life is Strange is an episodic game that released in 2015. It follows Max Caulfied, a young, aspiring photographer attending Blackwell Academy who learns that she can rewind time after witnessing a girl being shot in the bathrooms. 

I was pretty into this when it first came out. I played each episode as it came out, I read stuff on Tumblr and watched every theory video on youtube I could find. It had a likable and relatable protagonist, a pretty cool missing person mystery, cringy dialogue, and cool rewind powers. 

Let’s talk about Max, our playable protagonist. 

She’s shy, awkward, nosy, and she wants to be a photographer but lacks confidence when it comes to putting herself out there despite having the talent. She goes through a lot of grief and betrayal through the game, but ultimately learns more about herself and how her choices affect everything around her. 

She’s also bisexual, and like Clementine, she can romance a girl or a boy. 

Love Interest #1: Chloe Price

Chloe is the deuteragonist [secondary main character] of Life is Strange, and Max’s old childhood friend. She’s also the girl who gets shot in the bathroom, and the girl whose [girl]friend, Rachel Amber, is missing. 

Over the course of the story, Max and Chloe reconnect and grow closer as they try and find Rachel while also trying to figure out Max’s powers. We spend most of our time with Chloe, going to diner’s and junkyards and what have you. 

We learn a lot about Chloe’s home life: Her father died in a car accident, her mom owns a diner and remarried an asshole who smacks Chloe around when she smokes weed in her bedroom. We see Chloe as her most vulnerable, we save her life numerous times because she just won’t stop getting herself killed. 

Hell, we do this to the point where it begins to physically hurt Max and makes her bleed. We do this because Max claims that Chloe is the most important person to her. 

The most important person in Max’s life. 

Now, spoilers for the ending, but it turns out that the storm that’s come to destroy Arcadia Bay is all because of Chloe. So, the final choice Max has to make is to either go back and let Chloe die in the bathroom or let the storm destroy a town and kill nearly everyone there. 

Either you sacrifice an entire town of people or you sacrifice Chloe. 

Bay vs Bae, as the kids dubbed it.

Romancing Chloe isn’t exactly full of fluffy smooches, though. You’d think it would, but considering that the girl we’re looking for is Chloe’s girlfriend who Chloe loved very much, it’s mostly Max saying how much she cares about Chloe and then Chloe turning around like “Boy, I wish Rachel was here...”

Then we find out Rachel’s fucking dead and that’s a real romance killer if I’ve ever seen one. 

Hell, the only time you get a real smooch from her [that we see] is if you sacrifice her! If you sacrifice the town, the game’s like “Really? Okay....” and you watch Max and Chloe drive through a wrecked town and into the sunset together. 

There’s a lot of different factors to it that you don’t get unless you’ve played it, but for me, it was disappointing. I didn’t even romance Chloe the first time because I didn’t even really like her, but when I did romance her, I felt cheated!

I only get to be happy with my girlfriend if I can live with the blood of an entire town on my hands?? And odds are, fate’s gonna keep trying to kill her, so I also have to hurt myself and numerous timelines to keep her alive until I eventually explode????

Man, I don’t know if I want to commit to that, y’know? Thankfully, there’s another romance option I can look at, right?

....Right?

Continued in Part 2

He Gets the Girl! Marcus Rosner Talks Love on Harbor Island, Taking Flying Lessons, Quarantine Rituals and More

BY K.L. CONNIE 

For years it’s become a running joke among Hallmark movie fans that Marcus Rosner’s character never gets the girl. He’s often cast as the other guy or the jilted boyfriend fiancé.

Take for instance his role as Charles Kensington, the family friend and would-be suitor to teacher Elizabeth Thatcher on When Calls the Heart. Hearties were rooting for Elizabeth and Mountie Jack, so Charles’ appearance in Hope Valley was not a welcome one.

Things change in his latest movie, Love on Harbor Island, when *spoiler alert* Rosner gets the girl! He plays an aptly named seaplane pilot named Marcus (more on that later) who falls for Lily, an interior designer who returns to the island to help her aunt update her inn.

Parade.com chatted with Rosner about the film, pets, role models, rituals, childhood games and more.

You’re a pilot in Love on Harbor Island. You were also a pilot in another Hallmark film. Are you afraid of being typecast?

Haha. Just trying to typecast my way into the Top Gun sequel.

Have you ever taken flying lessons?

I have actually. My fiancé has a history of getting me some really cool birthday presents and one year she got me flying lessons. It was really great. I got to fly this little plane around over Vancouver.

I thought you’d be a shoo-in for a character named Marcus. Was that the character’s name before you were cast?

That’s funny. My friend and rising filmmaker Lucie Guest wrote the role with me in mind so when it came time to do the movie, I think we just thought it would be funny to not change the name she had been using. I think being referred to by my own name during the shoot inadvertently made this character feel more like who I actually am than anything else I’ve done. I just figured, “Yeah, I’m just Marcus…”

Your character runs an organization called Pilots for Pups. Do you prefer dogs or cats? Have you ever volunteered at a shelter?

Definitely dogs. I need my affection returned. I’ve never officially volunteered at a shelter but an old roommate of mine ran one back in the day in Vancouver, and I’d go in with him and help out a bit here and there.

Do you have any pets?

I don’t currently have any pets. My fiancé and I travel all the time so it’s just not a practical option right now. But once we “settle down” a bit we’ve got our eyes on a hypoallergenic golden doodle.

For the Hearties out there, would you be game to return as Charles? What kind of storyline would you want to see for him?

I’m not sure. I guess it would be dependent on the plan for the character. I had a good time on that show but it was kind of strange the way things were left with the proposal. From what I can tell, people didn’t love the character, and I don’t really blame them. So, for me, it would depend on what the plan was.

Tell us something we may not know about your co-star, Morgan Kohan.

We bonded over hip hop music. She even showed me some stuff I hadn’t heard yet which surprised me.

As an actor, who is your role model?

Clooney, Gyllenhaal, Penn. I think the actor who actually made me want to act was Tom Cruise—believe it or not. I loved Jerry Maguire.

How do calm down during hectic times? Do you have any rituals that you follow?

During this pandemic, it has really opened my eyes to how much I need working out, not just for my physical health but also for my mental health. I was going a little crazy while the gyms were closed. It’s a great time to just exert all your anxious energy and walk away in a positive mindset.

As far as being on set, if I start bugging out, I just remind myself that this whole life is icing on the cake and that if it all goes wrong I can always walk away and go back to my hometown where all my friends and family would greet me with open arms. (Not really, I’d go crazy there, but it’s a thought that comforts me.)

What was your favorite game from your childhood?

Games were my life as a kid so there’s too many to count. My friends and I were major competitors with everything we did. If we’re talking sports, it was probably rugby or volleyball. If we’re talking video games, it was definitely Halo. If we’re talking board games, it was Monopoly.

What’s your favorite summer cocktail/drink?

Definitely margaritas. All the greatest foods/drinks come from Mexico, in my opinion.

Who was your favorite teacher?

An acting coach in Vancouver named Andrew McIlroy, who is responsible for many careers in that city.

Do you have a useless or hidden talent?

I learned to play harmonica over a weekend in my hotel room by watching YouTube videos for a role I was going to play. When I got to set, they cut the harmonica part out so yeah…I’d say that qualified as a useless talent.

What was the last show you binge-watched?

Love on the Spectrum. It had a profound impact on my mindset. Especially in these times.

What is your go-to song to sing in the shower?

This literally changes by the day.

What is your all-time favorite book?

The Long Walk by Stephen King.

Name a song that would be on your summer playlist.

“Hussle and Motivate” by Nipsey Hussle.

Love on Harbor Island premieres Saturday, August 8 at 9 p.m. ET on Hallmark Channel. 

LINK to full article at parade.com

A Farewell To The Clone Wars

Yesterday was the end of an era

After 11 years and 104 days

After a theatrical movie, a novel, a comic miniseries, 8 incomplete story reels, and 133 episodes

After 49 hours and 12 minutes of incredible, heartbreaking, beautifully animated television….

Ended, The Clone Wars have.

I watched all of the existing Star Wars movies on DVD when I was a kid, but I was never particularly enamored with them the way that others are. And then in August 2008, I went to the local movie theater with my grandmother to see an animated movie that – while I didn’t know it at the time – would chart the course of my future for years to come.

While a lot of the general Star Wars fandom looks down on the theatrical Clone Wars movie as weak and lackluster, 11-year-old me loved every minute of it. I’ve been obsessed with animation my entire life, and around 2 years before the theatrical release of Star Wars: The Clone Wars, I had just begun to explore the world of animation outside of my childhood Disney bubble, diving headfirst into SpongeBob and Avatar and Codename Kids Next Door. Whenever I saw commercials for an animated movie playing in theaters I would beg my family to take me to see it. It didn’t matter what the movie was actually about, all that mattered was that it was animated and I thought it looked fun.

So, when I saw Star Wars: The Clone Wars in theaters with my sister and my grandmother, I loved it. I enjoyed the movie so much that when I learned there was going to be a TV show following the movie, I was ecstatic. From the moment that the first episodes of Season 1 aired on Cartoon Network a few months later, I was hooked. From the very beginning I refused to miss a single episode. From middle school all the way through high school The Clone Wars became the axis around which almost all of my entertainment consumption revolved.

I started reading more Star Wars books and comics from all over the timeline. The Thrawn trilogy. Darth Bane. Fate of the Jedi. The Old Republic. Lost Tribe of the Sith. I devoured every piece of Star Wars media I could find as this show awakened in me an appetite for all things Star Wars. Whenever my parents asked for gift ideas for my birthday or Christmas, at the top of my list would be the latest season of The Clone Wars on DVD. Every summer I trawled the internet looking for news from Star Wars Celebration or San Diego Comic Con about the next season – trailers, clips, plot details, whatever I could find.

When the show was initially cancelled following the purchase of Lucasfilm by Disney, I was devastated. This show had such a staple of my life that the idea that it wasn’t going to be coming back hurt. As I started looking around at online Star Wars fandom to find someone, anyone, who felt the same way that I did, I discovered #SaveTheCloneWars, and joined the campaign. Through that first year after the plug was pulled, I wrote to Disney asking them to continue the show. I signed fan petitions and made posts on Facebook. It was my first real engagement with the wider online fandom.

Then came The Lost Missions and the Clone Wars Legacy releases – Crystal Crisis, Son of Dathomir, Dark Disciple… Having more Clone Wars stories helped soften the pain of the show’s loss, but the story still felt incomplete. Hearing about future arcs that had been planned for the show only added to the sense of incompleteness, knowing that there were more stories we didn’t get to see. When rumors had begun circulating about an animated Star Wars show set post-Clone Wars, resolving unanswered questions of The Clone Wars was at the top of my wish list for a future Star Wars show.

When Rebels was announced I was cautiously optimistic. I didn’t want to get attached to a new set of characters when the loss of Ahsoka and Rex and my other Clone Wars favorites still felt so raw. After Dave Filoni and the production crew of Rebels posted videos introducing the crew of the Ghost and the core cast of Rebels I reluctantly became more interested, I still was cautious about investing my time in this new show out of fear that it too would be ripped away from me without a proper conclusion just like The Clone Wars was.

So, when the final episode of Rebels’ first season confirmed that the mysterious Fulcrum was none other than Ahsoka Tano I was out of my seat cheering. There were still questions I needed answered about what happened to her after she left the Jedi Order, but the fact that she was there, back on my TV screen once more, was a relief. And when I watched the first trailer for Season 2 a month later, the words “My name is Rex,” made me scream and cry. I was overcome with tears of joy knowing that not only would my favorite Jedi be appearing in Rebels but my favorite Clone Trooper as well.

By the time Rebels’ first season had ended, I was getting ready to graduate from high school and planning where I would go to college in the fall. Taking art electives in high school, particularly a computer art class during the airing of Season 5, made me appreciate just how beautiful the show’s art style was, and when the time came for me to plan where I wanted to go to college, I chose schools that had programs for animation. I had originally wanted to be a game designer because of Kingdom Hearts, but The Clone Wars made me realize that the passion I truly wanted to make a career out of was animation.

I continued to follow Rebels as I went off to college, and by the end of Season 3 – with Maul dead for good, Ahsoka MIA, and Rex and Hondo as the only major Clone Wars characters left on the show – I had gotten attached to the Rebels characters as well. I was just as invested in their fates as I was for those of Clone Wars characters like Rex and Hondo. Season 4 finished airing at the end of my junior year, and the knowledge in the final five episodes that Ahsoka had not only survived her confrontation with Anakin at the end of Season 2 but that she was still alive years after the events of the original trilogy had me crying tears of joy as I went to sleep.

The trailer announcing the return of The Clone Wars had me in tears for hours. Long had I been dreaming of the remaining stories of this show being released in some form. I would have been content with more novels and comics like Son of Dathomir and Dark Disciple, but to have the show return in animated form was a miracle I had given up hope for years ago.

But within the last twelve months, my interest in Star Wars cooled.

I was never the biggest fan of the movies. Revenge of the Sith was my favorite because in the absence of a proper conclusion it functioned as a de facto finale to The Clone Wars. I enjoyed the original trilogy, but they weren’t movies I considered my favorites. I saw The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi in theaters and cried on my first viewing of both films, but on repeat viewings the magic of them faded and I lost interest. While I could understand why other fans liked them, there was a spark that was missing from most of the movies released under Disney that prevented them from really having any staying power for me.

And then The Rise of Skywalker came out and completely shattered any expectations I had that Disney really knew what they were doing with the franchise. Where before I was willing to trust that there actually was a plan because of how precisely Rey and Ben Solo’s arc followed the path of the Heroine’s Journey across The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi, now I realize that what I initially believed to have been a carefully planned narrative arc was most likely JJ Abrams planning to set up a conventional Hero’s Journey which Rian Johnson used to try and tell a Heroine’s Journey instead. And even if there was a plan for Rey and Ben Solo that got screwed around by behind the scenes conflicts, there was clearly no plan as far as Poe and Finn and Rose were concerned.

For months after this, I started questioning and doubting my love of all the canon Star Wars media. How could I enjoy anything in the Original and Prequel trilogy eras knowing that all the hard work of dismantling Palpatine’s empire would be undone in order to rehash the same plotline with new characters and no concern given for whether the audience could follow what was happening or why these events and character decisions mattered if they hadn’t read every comic and novel and played every video game connected to this era.

Since the last trailer for the final season of The Clone Wars went up on YouTube, I vacillated between enthusiastically sticking to the shows I loved regardless of my problems with the film saga, and abandoning the franchise altogether and gifting my Clone Wars and Rebels Blu-Ray sets and associated novels to my college friend who had just gotten into Star Wars.

And then ‘The Phantom Apprentice’ Happened.

Ahsoka and Maul’s two-part duel in the throne room and the rafters of Sundari reminded me of everything I loved about The Clone Wars in the first place. The animation. The art style. The music. The attention to detail on every character and in every detail. The tragedy of what was to come. On my third re-watch of the third-to-last episode of Season 7, that was when I realized that despite my problems with the Sequel Trilogy, despite the many flaws in the writing of the Prequel movies, I could never give up on The Clone Wars, or on Rebels. These two shows have meant too much for me to ever walk away from either of them.

I have cried at least ten times in the last five days watching the final two episodes of The Clone Wars. The final of this incredible series was such a gut punch even though I knew what was coming and who would survive. I had and saw so many ideas about what the last episode would include. Would their be a montage of all the Jedi who survived Order 66 as a mirror of the death montage in Episode III? Would Ahsoka and Rex receive Obi-Wan’s recorded message from Rebels warning surviving Jedi to stay away from the temple?

But in the end, none of those things happened. The focus of the episode remained on Ahsoka and Rex. Their escape from the ship. The tragedy of their inability to save the other clones. And ending with a shot of Vader finding the ship some time later, all these symbols of the Republic buried beneath the winds of time as the empire rises. It was bleak and depressing and when the credits rolled I was holding back tears. But looking back on the entire series and the era of the war, knowing what was coming, there was no other way I could have expected it to end. The audience already knows that this is not the end, but Ahsoka and Rex don’t know that, and so the finale of The Clone Wars reflects this. The pain and despair. The tragedy and confusion over what will happen next. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Despite all the movies I’ve watched; the comics and novels I’ve read; the video games I’ve played; very few things in Star Wars canon or Legends have been able to match the magic of The Clone Wars in my heart. I have never truly been a Star Wars fan so much as I have been a Clone Wars and Rebels fan. The novels and comics and movies I enjoy are an extension of my love for the shows, but the shows will always come first. The characters these shows introduced have stuck with me more than any characters from the movies ever has. Clone Wars made me love Anakin and Obi-Wan and Padme and Yoda, but to me, my Star Wars favorites have always been Ahsoka, Maul, Rex, Ventress, Fives, Hera, Zeb, Thrawn, Sabine, and all the rest.

So, I just wanted to say thank you to Dave Filoni, Ashley Eckstein, Matt Lanter, Catherine Taber, James Arnold Taylor, Sam Whitwer, Nika Futterman, Dee Bradley Baker, as well as every single person involved in bringing this show to live for all the hard work and passion you have poured into this series. Your work on this show shaped the person I am today, and I look forward to seeing what you do next.

May the Force Be With You.

Chapter Two: A Jealous Landon & the End of the SXSW Awards [JSE]

Once Rose and Seán got on the elevator, Landon hurried to get on the same one. He could see a bunch of people, probably game designers and producers, climb into the same elevator. He ducked down and followed them inside. Just so he could keep an eye on the green haired man. With a very Irish cap on his head.

“Are you going to make an ‘Open Your Gifts’ video again?” She politely asked the Irish man. She wanted to hear his accent all the more. Since she always heard her aunt and uncle’s accents all the time. She would never grow old of hearing the Irish man’s accents.

“Probably,” Seán answered. He glanced down at the blonde woman next to him and smiled. “I’d probably open yer gift for last because of how big it is.”

She giggled in an innocent way. She hoped that he’d show off her painting in a video. “I’m sure you’ll love it,” she eagerly told him. “Because I’ve been working on it since I was sixteen and still painting in high school.” She looked so proud of her work.

His eyes widened, though. He could have sworn that she was sixteen.

“How ol’ are ya, if I may ask?” He softly questioned her. Glancing down again at her in curiosity.

She giggled again and answered, “I’m twenty now, I’ll be twenty-one in August. I’ve been subscribed since I was sixteen and watching your channel grow. As well as all your videos. You’ve saved me more times than I can count on my fingers.” She had the most innocent smile ever. As if she never went through any horrible childhood.

“An’ how did I save ya?” He softly asked.

The elevator PINGed to signal that the were on the fourth floor and most people got off on that floor. Once the people were off, him and her stayed on. Not knowing that Landon was still following them.

“Well,” she said, thinking about where to begin. “My father is Irish and my mother was American. My father ran off when I was just an embryo in my mother’s womb. And my mother was an alcoholic and clinically depressed. After I was born, my mother never took great care of me. It was usually a woman across the hall that took care of me.

“My mother died after I was just five, so I don’t remember her that much.

“My aunt and uncle, then, flew out from Ireland to take care of me.

“Sometimes I have nightmares surrounding my father and mother. They all vary too. Most of them consist of finding my mom dead on the floor. With blood gushing from her wrists.”

Her face went from happy to sad during her story.

“Every day, I wonder if it’s my fault my mom killed herself… If I hadn’t been born, then she would still be alive.”

Seán swiftly gave her a reassuring hug.

“It’s not yer fault that yer mother committed suicide,” he softly said. “Ya are an amazing young laddy. That male fella is a lucky lad.”

She hugged him back, looking confused.

“What ‘fella’?” She asked. Not sure what he’s talking about.

“That brunet male that you came here with,” he clarified. He pulled away to look her in the eyes.

“Oh!” She said, knowing exactly who he’s talking about. “He’s not my boyfriend. He’s my best friend.” She had a giggle fit, too.

Landon winced upon hearing her giggles at Seán’s assumption. After setting him straight.

“Sooo,” the green haired male said, coughing a bit to hide his embarrassment.

She has a wonderful laugh. Probably broke many hearts with her innocence and her obliviousness.

He continued to hug her for comfort.

Landon was shocked that she even had nightmares. That was something that she’s never told him. And he felt betrayed. Since she told that Irish bastard her nightmares than him. Her best friend.

The elevator PINGed again.

“This is my floor,” Seán softly told her. He had released her, grabbing a part of the painting to help her with carrying it. He was raised to be a gentleman afterall.

Rose accepted his help with a huge smile. Her eyes sparkling in excitement and pure joy. She grabbed the other end and hurried on out behind him. She got a weird feeling of being watched, but brushed it off.

He continued walking, looking at the different room numbers. Obviously searching for his own room.

Once he found it, he gently set the painting on the ground. He pulled out his room key from his pocket and unlocked the door to 608. He picked his side of the painting up again. Then he gently guided her and her precious painting inside. After he put it down, he placed his rolling luggage on the bed.

He was feeling guilty for not telling his fans what’s going on with him and his girlfriend.

Landon had hurried off the elevator to catch up with them. However, he arrived a bit too late because Rose had already gotten inside the same room as Seán. He quietly swore out loud and waited, behind a large ficus tree in the middle of the hall.

When Rose entered the room, she was absolutely amazed at the entrance of the room. She put her painting down on the red couch to look around. He helped lean the unknown, to him, painting against the couch. Excited to see her art skills. It looked as if it was an apartment for one. There was a coffee table, a small desk with a wooden wheelie chair and a bed behind a wall. The bathroom was in a small crevice of the whole room. The floor is carpet up until the beginning of one wall. Then it turns into hardwood flooring that leads to the bathroom.

After she had her fill of looking around the room, she made sure that the painting part is towards them. She grabbed two parts of the blanket.

“Rosalie Ashlen Watson proudly presents,” she jokingly said in an announcer-like voice. Then she pulled the sheet off to reveal the masterpiece underneath. “Seán, Sam, and his beautiful Korean girlfriend.”

She had her arms in a “Ta-DA” fashion.

He saw and thought it was absolutely gorgeous. However, it made him depressed.

“Do you have a YouTube channel?” He asked her. Out of curiosity.

“I have two, actually,” she told him. “One is gaming and the other is for vlogs and drawing tutorials.”

He had pulled out his phone to make a quick vlog. To spill the beans to her and his subscribers.

“Want to make a vlog together?” He asked. “Then we can swap cell numbers and Skype contacts.”

“I’d love that,” she eagerly said. “Then I can make one for my channel.”

“Cool,” he said. He unlocked his big iPhone 12 Max and went to the camera option. He moved the bar options to the left for the video one. Then he clicked the red circle to start recording. He made sure that the painting and Rose was out of the shot.

“Top a the mornin’ to ya laddie,” Seán said, high fiving the camera. “My name is jacksepticeye. And I’m doing a vlog. I already have the videos done for my ‘trip’.” He made quotation marks. “But, this is a special kind of video.

“One of my friends has made something for me. However, I’m sure some of you have noticed that… I haven’t been… In the greatest of moods.”

He started to walk around his hotel room. Using his hand gestures that he makes during his vlogs.

“The reason is because my girlfriend, Signe, or Wiishu, broke up with me a week ago.”

He looked back at the camera. Visibly looking as if a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

“Moving on from the bad news,” he said with a smile. “The friend that I have with this very moment. They are my new friend that I have met today while I’m in Austin, Texas. She made me a beautiful painting of me, Septiceye Sam and my ex-girlfriend. When I get back to Ireland, I’m going to hang it up in my recording area.”

Then he began to look dramatic.

“Now,” he said. Echoing as if he’s in a cave. “Presenting… My new friend… ROSE!” Then he yelled her name at the top of his lungs.

She came into the shot, laughing at the way he introduced her.

“Hey, guys!” She excitedly told his viewers; his friends. “My name is Rosalie Watson. I’m a very small YouTuber, but I’m working my way up through the ranks. I have two channels. One is my vlogging, ‘how to draw’ tutorials and time-lapse videos of a subject that someone wanted me to do. I do have drawing requests open every day on my Twitch account. My other channel is my gaming channel. I play video games every day. So you get two videos every day on two different channels.

“So I post a video on each channel every day. Even I had to plan some videos ahead.

“Not for my vlogging, of course. Don’t really need to do that.” She cutely giggled at that.

“Check out my vlog channel, Rosalie Watson, and my gaming channel, alwaysathorninmyside, for more details.”

She looked over to Seán to finish up this video. She planned to do his outro with him.

“That does it for this video,” Seán said, watching Rose follow along and repeat his words. He had the most joyful expression on his face. “If you liked it, PUNCH that like button in the face LIKE A BOSS! Aaand high fives all around. But, thank you guys and I will see all you dudes… IN THE NEXT VIDEOOO!”

“Later, guys,” Rose commented, holding up a peace sign to the camera in a fare well.

Seán ended the video, looking towards her.

She smiled, pulling her own phone out to record a similar video. Her phone was, also, an iPhone. But, hers was an iPhone 7.

“Hey, guys,” she greeted the camera with a smile. She made sure that Seán was out of camera shot. “As you guys might have known, my favorite YouTuber is jacksepticeye. If you haven’t been following my gaming channel, that is. And you guys, probably, know that I was on my way to Texas to go to the SXSW Gaming Awards. Last time I vlogged was yesterday, while I was on my way there.

“Well, I’m here now. I saw Seán in the lobby and hugged him.”

She got close to the camera to whisper, “he’s the best hugger I’ve ever hugged.” She laughed, smiling warmly at her audience.

“Anyways, I’m here with him now.”

Seán knelt down a bit to look into the camera. Since Rose was shorter than him by nine inches.

“Top a the mornin’ to ya laddies,” he greeted, smiling at her own audience. “My name is jacksepticeye.”

She giggled, lightly poking Seán. Then she turned back to her viewers.

“Seán and I are going to talk some more about gaming collaborations and, hopefully, do challenges together. Even streaming for charity events is an option.

“Ready?” She asked, turning to him. She wanted him to do part of his outro.

“Where do you want me to start?” He asked. Getting the idea that she wanted him to finish the video.

“Start from ‘thank you’,” she answered, giggling some more. She was ecstatic to do the outro with him on her channel this time.

He turned to the camera, rolling his eyes. Then he began.

“Thank you guys sooo much for watching this video and Rose will see all you dudes… IN THE NEXT VIDEOOO!”

“Peace out, guys,” she said, laughing when Seán changed it up.

Then she ended the video, going to upload the said video, uncut, on her YouTube app.

He was doing the same thing as her. He looked up both her channels and linked them at the bottom of his video as well as all his other social media.

Once he was finished uploading his video, he went to her gaming channel to watch her latest video. Which was the Sims 4 game.

“What’s new, guys?” She asked her audience with an angelic smile. “I’m playing, if you haven’t guess, the Sims 4! As you guys know, it’s my favorite game of all time. I love playing it.

“Today, I am going to flirt with Seán McLoughlin. And then fool around as well.

“With that said, let’s get started.” She, in the video, had the biggest smile.

Rose heard her own voice on the camera and blushed. She was embarrassed that he chose that specific video.

“Y-you don’t need t-to see that video,” she told him. In hopes that he would stop watching it.

He looks at her slightly red face. Then chuckled.

“Nonsense,” he responded. “If it has to do with me, then I deserve to see it.”

She blushed even darker and walked away. Mainly so that she didn’t have to hear her voice again. And watch him view her most embarrassing video. After all, it comes off that she is a complete stalker and she didn’t want that. She wanted to become Seán’s friend. She didn’t want him to think that she’s some psycho stalker of his. Even though she really isn’t.

--------------

“I hope to see you guys in the next video,” Rose said her small little outro. She smiled sweetly and waved good bye as the screen faded to black.

“You must really have a crush on me,” Seán said with a playful smirk. He turned to her and finished uploading his extra video of the day.

“U-uh huh,” she commented, turning even darker. She had did her best to tune her own voice out from the video and just do her own thing. Even though she had nothing to do.

“Mister jacksepticeye,” someone said from the other side of the door. “You need to get ready for the awards in a half-hour.”

“T’ank you,” Seán said to the employee on the other side. “I’ll be right out.”

“I guess I have to get going,” she softly said. Her eyes said that she didn’t want to leave and that she wanted to spend some more time with him. However, she knew that this would be ending soon anyways. “Hopefully, I’ll see you after the award ceremony.”

She turned to leave the room.

“Wait a minute,” he said with a smile. “Stay here and I’ll get changed quickly. Then we can exchange numbers as well as Discord accounts. We can even check out the entire convention while we’re here together.”

“L-like a date?” She asked, blushing a really dark red at the idea. She hoped that it would be a date.

“Sure,” he shyly commented. He felt as if he could be happy with her. As if they were meant for each other. Even though he just met her.

“Awesome,” she eagerly said, gently pushing him towards his bedroom. “Go get ready. I’ll be waiting here for you.” And it was a promise.

===============

Previously

Next {COMING SOON}

Kehlani singer on her new album

Kehlani, singer on her new album

Photo: Pari Dukovic

Kehlani

In early March, Kehlani was due to meet his label. She was preparing to release her second album - her first since she had a baby and a return to her roots R-B. She was scheduled to perform the first part of Justin Bieber's Changes tour, as well as a number of dream solo dates. Atlantic executives told him they believed in the album, which was scheduled for release on April 24, its 25th anniversary, but the coronavirus pandemic made it impossible to develop a promotion plan. We'd have to postpone it. "I was casting actors and actresses. I was doing all kinds of things," she says of all the pre-production she had completed at the time of the mid-March meeting. We're talking about a video call from Zoom; Kehlani sits alone in a sunny room in his Los Angeles home. (Later, she will be joined by her dog, a pint of ice cream and a tequila-based drink with a slice of orange coming out). It just so happens that today is the original release date. They said, "We don't think you should take it out,"" she said. "And then I went to my room and made the 'Toxic' video on my laptop." She posted it on YouTube at the end of March. "People messed with it," she adds. When Kehlani's label accepted her request to release the album this month, it was stipulated that she had to do it all herself. "If all we do is make music and press the button, then you can do it," she says. "And I was like, 'Okay, challenge accepted fucking.'" So now Kehlani and her photographer, with whom she's in quarantine, are planning and editing music videos, photoshoots, and album coverage. (She also lives with her daughter, two younger siblings, a close friend and her assistant). His garage has been converted into a two-level studio, one side for music, the other for visuals. Kehlani has been a professional musician since the age of 13. A series of mixtapes - full of overshares about having a heart built and broken - and a random but successful debut album have already made her a leading figure in the industry. His music is R-B in its purest form: songs about how love defeats you, about floating on the pure adrenaline of a crush, about the desire of someone you can't trust in your heart. It's no coincidence that when white artists like Bieber and Charlie Puth want to look into an R-B sound, they call on Kehlani to help them. The new album, It Was Good Until It Wasn't, is part of a revival of the genre in the midst of its fiercest debates. It is also a transition disc, a bridge between adolescence and adulthood. Throughout her career, Kehlani has been considered the daughter of the R-B: sexy but boyish. In her old music, she played with both sides of the binary. On the new record, it got too big. She did so immediately after giving birth to her daughter Adeya, who is now one year old. (She is currently co-parenting with her ex, Adeya's father, Javaughn Young-White, younger brother of Jaboukie from the Daily Show). "People would always be like, Kehlani is adorable or, like, Kehlani is cool hella. But then I had a baby and it made me look more feminine," she says. "So I guess I thought, OK, I'm going to start shaking my ass and talk about it." (She wanted Bieber to do a song for her album, but he refused. "Because he's a super-married guy now, it didn't really fit," she said. Kehlani's self-managed music video for "Toxic", filmed with the only camera on her MacBook, shows the nervous figure of the singer slipping and squirming, rubbing her arms and hips. "Don Julio has ridiculed me for you," she tells her former lover that she won't reach out to him, even if her body urges her to do it out of instinct. Kehlani insists this is not his last relationship, which ended publicly and painfully, with Compton rapper YG earlier this year. It's the kind of personal drama that made headlines and made Kehlani's blog famous. She writes songs that address all of this openly. Her fans grow up with her career because she is transparent, sometimes to excess. Or, as she says, I do in public, and it makes people feel like I'm not a stranger. I'm a person with a human ass. I'm screwing up in front of the whole world." The conversation about the state of the R-B was revived last November, when Lizzo, often considered a pop artist, won album of the year at the Soul Train Awards, beating soul singer Ari Lennox. ("It's clear that I'm not cool enough," Lennox tweeted after his loss. Last February, rapper Young M.A. went further, saying that "we barely have R-B". Indeed, in recent years, the superstars of the genre - like SWV, Boyz II Men, Ginuwine, Toni Braxton - and their musical descendants have mostly failed to stop the charts as they did two decades ago; many contemporary black musicians evade the label, preferring to be called "alternative R-B", while others experiment more with genres that were once declared out of bounds by the guardians. Kehlani, on the other hand, is part of a coterie of artists who maintain the relevant R-B today, alongside newcomers like Summer Walker, Bryson Tiller and Lennox. She has a song for every step of a relationship: going under it, going over it, watching the door ahead, a personal promise to stop texting her. His music seems new - not as a consistent copy of a Brandy song - but the influence is palpable. She finds the current debate about gender - what the R-B is, what it was and where it has gone - boring. It may no longer sound like it did in the 90s, but rappers (think, more recently, Drake) have expanded it beyond the desperate desire (or desperate loves) of the last century. "I think people don't know enough about music to make these kinds of accusations [that the R-B no longer exists]. The R-B is simple lyrics and a great song. Lots of harmonies and batteries and melodic production," she says, as if it were easy. "I'll never be able to make 90s R-B music. I'm never going to be able to make R-B music from the early 2000s, because that's not when I was making music. It wasn't when I experienced things that shaped my words and my sound." Kehlani was born in Oakland and raised by her aunt. His mother struggled with drug addiction, and his father died when he was 24 years old and she was very young. A stint on America's Got Talent put her in touch with Nick Cannon, who paid for her to spend time in the studio to make her first mixtape in 2014. On Cloud 19, you can hear the beginnings of a great talent: his voice is more acute and younger, but it is overflowing with emotion. On the deck of Cloud 19's "As I Am" film, she sings and succeeds in the chorus of a Mary J. Blige classic. A week after the release of her second mixtape in 2015, she signed with Atlantic Records. Kehlani turned to pop with his debut album of 2017, SweetSexySavage, an album full of rushed and half-finished ideas. It was carried out amid a personal mental health crisis, sparked by rumors that she cheated on her ex-boyfriend, NBA player Kyrie Irving, in 2016. The relentless online bullying led her to attempt suicide. (Kyrie Irving later admitted that she had never been unfaithful.) "I started an album as a person and experienced the most traumatic event of my life," she says. Her label held on until the deadline, letting her make an album from songs she barely recognized. "I had no connection with the music," she says. "I was embarrassed about everything." The new record is a reset, closer to the Grammy-nominated mixtapes that made it famous. It Was Good Until It Wasn't Gives you the Pure B-R rush, the R-B "waiting for you to call me", the R-B "the only thing that interests me is you": the hits of Brandy and Monica in the 90s, the classics of Alicia Keys of the early 2000s who fall in love. She is also less affected by the nostalgia of adolescence than by the immediacy of adult desires. His first mixtapes were about childhood and adolescence; It Was Good Until It Wasn't at peace with the way most conflicts or heartaches unfold. The title comes from a conversation with a friend about her recent breakup. That's the life of this, you know? she said. The is good and then it's not good anymore. Although she has been in the industry since she was a teenager, Kehlani has never had any decisive success for her career, and it is unlikely that the new album will deliver one. "F-MU" is hot and dancing, and the collaboration with Canadian R-B star Tory Lanez, "Can I," is a sexy earworm - although neither song seems particularly suited to virality. His greatest successes are gossip blogs that overshadow his music. His three-month relationship with YG ended just after they released a song together proclaiming their love. (Their duet came out on the eve of Valentine's Day 2020; three days later, she released a breakup song after images of him cheating her surfaced). Minutes before one of our calls, Kehlani posted a series of tweets about a feud with another Oakland native, rapper Kamaiyah, who slammed her on Instagram Live about a previously unreleased mixtape and accused her of being a colorist, among other things. "She gave the green light to my family and me and told everyone in Oakland to kill us for a song," Kehlani says. (Kamaiyah later replied, telling Kehlani, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't threaten you," but added that "a green light means going like a fight, not shooting"). A moment after our discussion, she answered a phone call from a friend and nervously asked if her tweets - which had let the rapper know there was no bad blood - were correct, if she had handled the situation properly. Kehlani and Kamaiyah had long argued over a joint mixtape, which was to be released before the release of their two albums. Her production was difficult, and even the basic decisions - how many songs she should have, what it should be called, what the visual aesthetic should be - met, according to Kehlani, with Kamaiyah's resistance. In the end, she had had enough of back and forth, and the mixtape didn't seem as essential to her as the release of her album. When she came back to our call, her mood was appalled. I tried to contact her to do good business and she said, "If the project doesn't come out, you can't have it [one piece]," she says. "Even though I wrote it." Once again, she was swept away in a drama she couldn't control, tweeting clarifications about a quarrel she didn't care about, instead of celebrating the upcoming release of her album. But why challenge a misinterpretation if she is tired of getting carried away by the drama? How can I put this to rest and out of my body? Because I don't want to wear them," Kehlani says. "Even if you never want to piss me off again, how can I make sure you know it's love on this side?" she tweeted Kamaiyah to let the rapper know she wished him the best. She is satisfied with the way she has defused an unexpected quarrel. A few years ago, it would not have been as weighted. It took a lot of to get to this point, she says. The death of two friends in three months has put a lot of things in perspective. Philadelphia rapper Chynna overdosed in April at age 25; Minnesota rapper Lexii Alijai, whom Kehlani considered "a little sister," overdosed on New Year's Day at just 21 years of age. Lexii Alijai was scheduled to perform the first part of the post-Bieber tour as the headliner. "I couldn't believe it because Alijai was so young," she says. "It was a click, it was amazing, it was sad and it was heartbreaking. I'm always trying to find the best way to help them continue their legacy." Being 25 was also more than a quarter of a life. It was a horizon she never thought she would see. "I've always had a strange feeling about being 25 or older," she says. "It's a shock because I'm now older than my father was." that's part of what made It Was Good Until It Wasn't feel like the album she finally grew up on. "I wanted to be 25 on this one," she says.

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