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carcinized · 3 years

Text

Zoom Cuddles

Ship(s): Romantic Prinxiety

Words: 1376

Warning(s): Quarantine, Zoom, basically just all the sucky stuff of 2020, cuddles, kissing

AU(s): Humans in 2020, college

Notes: This is literal tooth-rotting fluff. I don’t even know how I made this so fluffy—

Summary: It’s literally just Virgil being extremely clingy during Roman’s classes until Roman gets revenge and makes out with him during his math lecture.

Psychology was always Roman’s favorite lecture to attend in these trying times. Not because he enjoyed learning about the mind, but because it was the only class he shared with his boyfriend, Virgil Black.

In fact, he saw Virgil during nearly all of his classes, since they lived together, but in this class, they could share a computer and cuddle through the whole lecture.

That was what they were doing now, in fact. Virgil had propped up his laptop on a desk he’d dragged in front of the couch. He was now sitting in Roman’s lap. Roman had one hand wrapped around Virgil’s waist, keeping him and his warmth close, and the other was in his hair, gently stroking it. Every once in a while, Roman would lean forward to press a kiss to Virgil’s hair and Virgil would sigh happily and melt back against him.

This was why psychology was Roman’s favorite.

•

Roman closed his eyes as he did his best to get his voice up the scale. His choir had already gone up an octave or so from where he was comfortable in his chest voice and was now attempting to sound decent with his head voice, which took all of his concentration.

Roman felt forearms rest of his shoulders and hands clasp behind his neck as someone hung off of him, pressing their body to Roman's.

Roman opened his eyes and stopped singing, frowning at the man hanging off him. "What's wrong, love? I'm on camera, you know.”

Virgil didn't seem to care. He buried his face in Roman's neck. "I'm tired, RoRo."

Roman wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, two fingers rolling a strand of his hair back and forth between them as Roman picked up the singing again. At least Virgil brought warmth on the cold winter day, Roman thought.

Soon, the choir organizer finished warmups, and asked, "Roman?"

Roman gave a sheepish smile and waddled forward to unmute his computer. "Sorry, my, uh—My boyfriend's a little clingy today."

"Am not," Virgil mumbled.

"They can hear you, you know," Roman informed him. The other members of the choir were all either laughing, smiling sweetly, or looking away awkwardly, and Roman couldn't blame any of them for their reactions.

"Well, are you going to be able to sing with him clinging to you like that?" the choir organizer asked.

Roman shrugged and Virgil protested the movement a bit with some incoherent grumbling. "It'll compress my chest a bit, but I'll be fine."

The choir director stared a little longer before giving a shrug. "Whatever, so long as you can follow along."

Roman beamed and adjusted Virgil so his feet were on top of Roman's, then waddled forward to mute himself again.

"Well, everyone, open your documents for 'Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas,'" the director instructed, and Roman did so.

He returned to his spot where he was standing, Virgil still hanging off of him. Sometimes, in between phrases, he'd press a kiss to Virgil's ear and feel Virgil readjust himself with a content sigh. Other times, Virgil would whisper a small "you sound good" and make Roman blush with pride.

At the end of the last note, once Roman had stopped his vibrato, he wrapped his arms around Virgil's waist tighter. "Aren't you glad we lived together during this?"

"What, this Zoom?"

"No, I mean... All of this. 2020."

"Yeah," Virgil said, nuzzling deeper into Roman's chest. "I am."

•

Later that day, Roman was in drama, working on a read-through of a stage version of Clue they hoped to be able to livestream. Virgil simply walked over and straddled Roman's hips, sitting in his lap and laying his head on Roman's shoulder.

Roman couldn't keep the grin off his face as he reached up to stroke Virgil's hair without a word. But the warm feeling in his bones made it a bit hard for him to sound ominous in his role as Mr. Boddy. His line came out in a high-pitched tone when he said, "In your hands you each have a lethal weapon. You all showed up here tonight because you believed the evidence against you was so terrible that you would do almost anything to—"

"Hold it," the director said. "Roman, are you—?" He cut off when he looked up at his screen. "Oh, you've got someone there."

Roman blushed. "Yeah, uh, this is my boyfriend. Virgil, say hi, since you interrupted us!"

Virgil raised a hand and, before he could raise a certain finger, Roman grabbed his hand and pulled it back down sheepishly. "Sorry, he's, um... He's tired."

"It's quite alright, this is just a read-through, after all. Just make sure that he doesn't crash our actual rehearsals as well."

Roman lifted Virgil up a bit by the underarms, intending to look into his eyes as if he were a naughty puppy, but Virgil kept them closed as he scowled sleepily.

"You hear that?" Roman asked. "No crashing rehearsals."

"Yeah, yeah," Virgil murmured. "Let me sleep, now."

Roman rolled his eyes with a small laugh and looked back at the screen, where the entire cast was smiling at him. Roman felt himself go red. "Uh—"

"You guys are adorable!" the woman playing Miss Peacock announced.

Luckily, Virgil didn't protest or make any moves to flip off the cast again.

"Um, thanks," Roman told her. "Anyways...."

And that was how the read-through went.

•

Later, Virgil was in his math class, and Roman was ready to get his revenge.

The other boy was innocently leaning back in his chair when Roman sat in his lap. Having his boyfriend's face right in front of his own seemed to wake Virgil up and his eyes widened in surprise.

Roman didn't give him time to say anything, though, simply leaning forward and brushing his lips against Virgil’s before capturing his lips with his own, knowing the other couldn't resist.

Roman was proved right as Virgil kissed back, pulling him gently closer by the waist. Roman smiled and rested his arms on the back of Virgil's chair. He touched his feet to the ground and gently spun the chair back and forth as they kissed, perfectly happy to get lost in the moment.

That was, until the teacher cleared her throat. "Mr. Black?"

Virgil's eyes widened and he shoved Roman off of him. "Uh—Miss, I can explain—"

"You're on mute," the teacher told him. Roman just rubbed his head from his new spot on the ground.

"Oh, um, Miss, I'm so sorry—"

"Don't worry, I've seen far worse than a boy making out with his boyfriend on camera this year," the teacher informed him.

Roman got up from his spot and rested his head on Virgil's knee out of the camera's line of sight. Virgil reached a hand over and lightly slapped Roman before caressing his face gently. Roman leaned into his touch, only slightly worried about more possible slaps.

"Um... yeah. Thanks, I guess?" Virgil said to the teacher.

"I just want to make sure you're paying attention for this next part, as I'm going to be going over finals material."

"Oh, okay. Yeah, um, thanks."

Roman felt Virgil lean forward and mute himself once more.

Once he'd leaned back, Roman asked incredulously, "You thanked her?"

"What else was I supposed to do?"

Roman looked up at Virgil and broke into a fit of laughter at how red his face was.

"Hey, you never answered me!" Virgil protested once Roman's giggles had started to die down.

"Oh—Um, I don't know. I do know, however, that you're a teacher's pet."

"Shut up."

Roman climbed back up into Virgil's lap, resting against him the way Virgil had earlier. "Fine. I'm going to sleep on you."

"Fine." Virgil's tone was harsh, but when he kissed Roman's hair, he was gentle and caring, making sure Roman knew he wasn't angry. At least, not too much.

After a silence between them, with only Virgil's teacher speaking in the background, Roman heard a tiny whisper.

"I love you, y'know," Virgil said quietly.

Roman heaved a happy sigh and snuggled closer. "I love you too."

Check out my other works (forgot to put this here at first oOpS-)!

#prinxiety #romantic prinxiety #sanders sides #thomas sanders #fanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #anxiety sanders #creativity sanders #ts roman #ts virgil #tw cuddles #tw kisses #tw quarantine #marilyn’s writing uwu

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apricops · 4 years

Note

writing prompt: the political climate of [your choice of historical period] expressed in the form of office drama

[Interior - an anachronistic office building, equal parts The Name of The Rose and Parks and Rec. Holy Roman Emperor MAXIMILIAN I is in the background, listening to a PETITIONER. Court musicians nearby are playing something soothing as MAXIMILIAN I visibly tries not to lose his shit.

In the foreground, several people are seated around a table. The table is piled high with semi-organized stacks of papers, labeled “Habsburgs,” “Denmark,” and “???” There is a tired-looking COURT LAWYER who is skimming through a document, seated across from a Fancy-Lad DUCAL ENVOY and an old, gray-bearded, Prussian-looking MARGRAVE, who is half-asleep. The COURT LAWYER skims over a few pages in tense, frustrated silence before finally speaking.]

COURT LAWYER: So King Christian I is his own vassal?

[Cut to the COURT LAWYER doing that talking-to-the-camera-like-The-Office thing, because I have never written a TV script before and am fuzzy on the terminology.]

COURT LAWYER: The Holstien case… is hell. The cadet branches just pop up like… like pimples! One minute it’s Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Beck, then it’s Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg, then—

[Snap cut back to the table, making it clear the COURT LAWYER could have gone on for hours. The DUCAL ENVOY gestures to a document and starts to explain.]

DUCAL ENVOY: That, ah, that’s from a different case. You see, our illustrious house was rewarded for our service against the Ottomans during the Siege of Thessalonica.

[The MARGRAVE snaps awake.]

MARGRAVE: The Ottomans? Where? Drive back the Turk! Get me the garrison commander! Murm, and a stuffed pastry or two…

[Everyone ignores the MARGRAVE, who falls back asleep after a few more rambles.]

COURT LAWYER: Wasn’t the Siege of Thessalonica a total failure and humiliating defeat on our end?

[The DUCAL ENVOY makes a “yeah, but I’m gonna get mine” gesture. The camera tilts to zoom in on MAXIMILIAN I, who pauses to give a you-are-the-first-to-die-in-my-fantasies glare at the DUCAL ENVOY, then puts his normal expression back on and resumes listening to the PETITIONER.]

[The COURT LAWYER sets the document aside and picks up another one, then winces.]

COURT LAWYER: For god’s sake, Schleswig-Holstein-Liga?

DUCAL ENVOY: I think that one’s just a soccer league, actually.

[The PETITIONER leaves. MAXIMILIAN I signals to the court musicians to stop playing. Suddenly, there is a sense silence. MAXIMILIAN I stands up, takes a deep breath, and screams.]

MAXIMILAN I: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[He pauses to breathe in again, then starts to storm offscreen, shouting.]

MAXIMILIAN I: *offscreen* If you rat bastards are going to wave forged documents in my face, at least have the goddamn decency to put in a little effort! The Habsburgs wrote the book on forgeries! Don’t TREAT ME LIKE A CHUMP!

RANDOM RETAINER: The, uh, the emperor will not be seeing any more petitioners today.

[The DUCAL ENVOY stands up and, taking his cue to leave, scoots away, opposite the direction the emperor left.]

[Cut to MAXIMILIAN I doing the talking-to-camera thing. Time has clearly passed, and servants are busy cleaning up rage-smashed furniture.]

MAXIMILIAN I: How come everyone who’s on my side sucks? The dukes, the electors, the rich territories, they’re always busy scheming and trying to fuck me over. But an abbey full of old nuns? Oh, we’re on your side, emperor! Anything you want, emperor! Here, here’s a pair of old sandles, that’ll keep the French from conquering Naples!

MAXIMILIAN I: *heavy, wistful sigh* I bet the Sultan doesn’t have to deal with shit like this. I wish I could be like that… with a harem of women, and not having to take any sass from anyone… this is getting edited out, right?

[Snap cut to interior – Topkapi Palace. Ottoman Sultan BAYEZID II is trying not to look guilty as his mother, GÜLBAHAR HATUN, lectures him.]

GÜLBAHAR HATUN: It’s been months, sweetie. Months!

BAYEZID II: *trying not to get snippy* I know, mother, but things have been crazy at work lately, and—

GÜLBAHAR HATUN: That’s what you say every time! I know you’re the head of the House of Osman, but you’re still my little boy too.

BAYEZID II: I’m sorry, it’s just, I’ve been on campaign, mom. I can’t just drop everything and come visit whenever I want. If we don’t control the Peloponnese, how are we going to have enough naval power to compete with the Venetians?

GÜLBAHAR HATUN: *crossing her arms* You care more about those Venetians than your own mother! The woman who gave birth to you!

[In the background, a HAREM LADY scoots by, trying not to be noticed, dressed in expensive but modest clothing. Cut to her doing the talking-to-camera thing.]

HAREM LADY: Look, I don’t know what those horny Austrians told you I did, but I just copy poetry, alright?

----------------------------------------------

Postscripts:

This was delayed because it started with me going “Schleswig-Holstein? That is a funny name, I’m going to use that for this ask, because it is funny” only to find out that it has been involved in insanely complicated legal disputes for basically eight hundred years. I decided to get around the issue by not dealing with it.

Wiki-ing told me that Gülbar Hatun did, in fact, send letters to Bayezid II complaining that he was always too busy emperor-ing to visit her.

I spent too much time and attention at first trying to get the date-overlap right with things but stopped caring after a bit because it was against the spirit of prompts

#good post

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averykedavra · 3 years

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joan - what do you wish the series would cover next, or what kind of turn would you want to see it take?

!! okay this is a really fun question. ‘cause i’ve thought about this a lot. timeline-wise, I only got really involved with the fandom around the release of ATHD, and ever since then i’ve really enjoyed imagining the “next” events of the series. sometimes theories, sometimes just AUs, but it’s always fun!

and see, there are tons of things i’d love to explore in the context of canon. like sides switching from light to dark, or a side shutting themselves off, or serious backstory elements like the formation of roman and remus. tons of stuff that’d be super cool to think about.

but they’re not stuff i’d actually want in canon necessarily, you know? and they’re mostly not stuff i’d ever expect canon to actually do. so here’s a little incomplete list of things i’d love to actually see in the series, and which I think are (semi)-plausible:

1. Roman’s arc. had to add this one. I’m pretty sure it’s coming up after PoF (and it better) and I am so, so excited. roman’s been a slow-boiling pot of emotional turmoil for a while now and I just wanna see it spill over!

and look. don’t get me wrong, i love the pintroverts so much, but—yeah, i really wanna see thomas and nico go through a rough patch. thomas, and by extension roman, are pinning so many expectations on nico. they’re emotionally unready and using nico like a way to redeem themselves and feel better, instead of confronting their own issues. not to say the relationship can’t work out, but i can figure there’ll be some bumps on the road.

and possible failure with nico would be a great catalyst for roman’s full breakdown. he’s got everything riding on this guy! he calls nico “a chance at happiness”! and he’s the romantic side, he wants this to work out, so thomas will trust him again. and if it fails, it’ll break roman into tiny, tiny pieces.

plus, i know the season finale is probably going to be a two-parter, like with virgil’s episode? and i don’t know if i actually want roman to duck out, but i am really excited for some parallels to virgil’s arc. acceptance instead of redemption, being more than your function, every side being valued, and virgil and roman continuing to become closer together. if i do not get a remix of “you make us better” but virgil to roman, i will riot /j

2. Logan’s arc. then following roman, our braincell boy! logan is another steaming pile of issues who’s been repressing for far too long. i want to see him admit he has feelings. i want to see him cry. maybe this is the angst demon in me, but come on, he deserves it.

an aspect of logan that’s really fascinating to me is his relation to thomas’ own self-image and needs. logan defines himself by his use to thomas—he has the least belief in himself as a separate entity. and he’s felt sidelined for a long time, possibly ever since thomas became a youtube.

i think it’d be super interesting to see more of how their dynamic was before thomas made the career switch, how logan feels about it, and how his “lack of feelings” is an extension of his refusal to acknowledge his own personhood. he doesn’t let himself want or feel—and he’s actually kinda similar to roman in that regard. roman and logan are narrative foils in a lot of ways. which would make it kinda cool if their arcs were somewhat consecutive—logan helps roman value himself, and roman returns the favor.

oh, and i’d love it if virgil and logan could come full circle, too? virgil comforts logan during the whole thing, maybe even talking to him about cognitive distortions or using techniques logan taught him to destress. they’re really good friends and i wanna see more of that.

3. Janus becoming part of the group. i have so many feelings about janus. he’s poised to join the gang and start helping thomas from the inside, but his acceptance is still conditional, fragile, and fragmented. roman loathes him, logan resents him, and virgil has a history with him. and janus is gonna have to try and get through all that.

i already love his dynamic with patton, i really want them to be friends. i think a logan and janus debate would be fucking fantastic. i am begging for roman and janus to talk things out. and i really, really want to see virgil and janus become friends again.

but maybe what i’m most interested in is janus himself, and his relationship to thomas. i still love interpreting the “is that fair to him” line as referencing janus’ complex and difficult role as the keeper of all lies. he’s still hiding an orange side from us, probably, and he’s trying to keep everything stable.

what happens if he slips up? what happens if he gets close to patton and starts having new priorities? how did that affect his relationship with virgil? i want to really explore janus’ character and motivations.

and also janus and remus content. give it. this is an order.

4. Remus. Literally anything remus. Please I’m starving, I just want to see my trash boy, when will he return from the war?

Seriously, though, I’d love more remus. his thoughts on nico. his motivation, his daily life, his relationship with janus and the other sides. i think he could really be great friends with all of them if he was given time to settle, and my intruality heart says he deserves to be chaotic besties with patton.

and! and his relationship with roman!! i really wanna see them grow closer and be bros, while working through the deep complexities of their issues with one another. because right now roman has so many projections of remus as his worst enemy and the epitome of everything he doesn’t wanna be, and remus just…doesn’t care about all that. that’s so interesting!!

remus is just such a refreshing character in so many ways. he’s so blunt and open and honest, he doesn’t hide or repress anything, and that’d be so much fun to explore! plop him in the middle of the other sides and see how long it takes for stuff to explode. i wanna see him break the status quo just because he can.

5. Patton’s arc. oh, you thought his character development was done? not even close. he learned a lot from moving on, but pof proved he still has a long way to go. and tbh I think he’s in a really precarious position right now.

yeah, he’s finally opening up to janus and the others. but he’s also very vulnerable, very unsure, and very ready to throw himself out of the picture if thomas needs him to. he asked if janus thought patton was just bad for thomas, and he seemed ready to take that advice and leave thomas be.

which is. concerning. and I think as patton learns to pull back and let thomas--and everyone--stand on their own without him smothering them, as he learns to have faith in others and not feel pressured to fix everything himself, he needs to work on his own self-worth, too.

patton, like a lot of the sides, is separating himself from his function. and that’s gonna be painful and messy and probably include a lot of backsliding. i wanna see him talk to the others, really talk to them, and get the support from his friends he needs! and that includes:

6. virgil continuing to support his friends. virgil has been doing great character-development-wise, but again, he has far to go! and what I want to see more of is stuff like FWSA. him beginning to truly support his friends in the way they’ve supported him.

his friendships with roman and logan are so sweet and I wanna see more of that. please. and I wanna see him bond with remus and janus again, and most of all, I want patton and virgil to really sit down and talk about stuff. they’ve been going through it for a while and I want them to talk.

the sad part, of course, is that post-pof they’re probably in an even worse place. there’s a reason patton didn’t show up in FWSA even when matters of the heart were involved. they’re on thin ice around each other, and throwing janus and roman into it will just make everything more complicated.

but I believe in them! they’re good friends, and I think if they try, they can work through it and learn more about each other.

7. bonding between the dark and light sides. basically already covered this one but guys. i want everyone to bond. i want logan and remus sharing cool facts. i want janus and virgil being snarky best friends. i want patton and remus teaming up to make stuff happen, and janus calling logan out on his repression, and virgil and remus listening to mcr and just. them, okay? them. glad we had this talk.

8. a breaking down of the dark sides and light sides altogether. i don’t necessarily mean anyone becomes a dark side (although it’s such a fun idea.) I mean really digging into the morality and formation of the “sides”, and eventually dismantling them.

the dark and light sides aren’t good and evil. they’re sides that thomas wants around, that are useful, and sides he doesn’t. and as janus becomes wanted at the table, and as patton and roman pull away and become less useful, it’ll be interesting to see how those dynamics shift.

the issue of identity is really at the heart of sanders sides. how much of you is you, and how much of it is what others want? are you beholden to others’ expectations, and how do you find personal worth? what defines you--by what measure is a man? how does a person change and grow? can they? or are they always, at the core, what they began as?

these questions obviously don’t have simple answers, but they’re stuff I wanna see talked about. i want to see the difficulty of even finding the line between selfishness and selflessness when you exist to serve another self. actions can be selfish and selfless all at once, a mass of contradictions that’s anything but black and white. and I wanna see more of that.

an idea I toy with sometimes is having a brief, or not so brief, reversal of dark sides and light sides. remus and janus, and maybe virgil, become more listened to. and roman, patton, and logan become the sides in the background. i dunno if it would actually happen, but I think it’d be interesting to consider--because once again, it’s about use versus value and wants versus needs.

if thomas wants a side, will they stick around? what about if he only wants to want them? what if he wants them as a friend but doesn’t need their function? what if they don’t think he wants them? what if any number of things?

i want to see discussion and deconstruction of the sides as a whole. i want to see them really dig deep into their purpose and formation. i want everything laid bare. and then finally, I want:

9. thomas ends the series by letting go of the sides. i am such a fucking sucker for bittersweet open endings like that. it wouldn’t be a full erasure of the sides, they’d still exist in the mind palace, probably hanging out and having movie nights and being a family. but they wouldn’t talk to thomas anymore.

i think it could be a really profound note about not only letting go of parts of your life and moving forward, but how c!thomas should work to stand on his own. yes, the sides are parts of him, but he’s more than the combination of their input. he’s his own person. he’s real. and I think he needs to work on being more self-reliant, in the moment, and start to discover his identity not in pieces, but as a whole.

the sides weren't bad for him. not in the slightest. they’ve helped him understand and come to terms with any number of things. but sometimes people grow and move forward, and they have to say goodbye to some parts of their life. that’s a fact. and with the ongoing theme of moving on and chasing the future, i think thomas would reasonably do that--end the series with a goodbye.

10. and...orange side. i’ve talked a lot about my ideas for the orange side, but suffice it to say, i’m looking forward to them. whoever they end up being.

so yeah, that’s a very long post about my ideas that isn’t half as long as it could be dhfgsjhs i’ve considered writing something like a canon divergence AU, or just rambling on tumblr, but for now that’s what I got. and this is all to say, hire me, sanders sides writing team /j

#sanders sides #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #long post #asks and answers #anon #ts ask game #i'm so sorry for the length this went overboard sgfshsjks

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starlocked01 · 4 years

Text

Dyeing to Meet You

AO3

Masterpost- Previous- Next

Summary: When your eyes could be the color of any shade of hair dye, Roman is positively upset his soulmate won't change colors. Especially since his color of choice is black. Content Warning: brief mention of kidnapping

Day 27 Prinxiety, background Intrulogical- Your eye color matches the color of your soulmate's hair, even when they dye it.

Roman kinda really hated his soulmate. Most people had brown or yellow eyes. His grandmother had silvery eyes that sparkled in the light. Remus had been a bit surprised when his rosey auburn irises went bleach blond for 3 months and then disappeared completely for a week. It had been pretty good evidence his soulmate was on the swim team so he'd started flirting with all of them, looking for brown eyes with a silver streak.

For the past four years, Roman’s eyes had been jet black. They never lightened, never sparkled, and he was convinced they were costing him leading roles in the school productions.

Roman decided to get even with his soulmate.

First, he got his hair bleached. After two weeks of rehabilitation, he had his hair dyed a bright bloody looking red. ---- Virgil woke up and found that his eyes had changed from bleached to the coolest shade of red ever. It worked so perfectly with his favorite red and black eyeshadow designs. Anytime someone pissed him off, all he had to do was stare at them and they left him alone quickly.

His soulmate had the best taste in color. ---- After a month, Roman’s hair had faded mostly pink and his eyes were still demonic. Not even slightly less black. Perhaps red had been a bit too natural. Next, he bought a bottle of dye and went full purple. It was a terrible job but it had to get the message across. ---- Virgil loved his soulmate. The purple with streaks of pinkish-yellow was absolutely edgier than the red that had faded so quickly. He wondered why the colors were changing so rapidly after natural brown hair for so long but shrugged it off. Perhaps his soulmate was just exploring his own identity. ---- Remus had managed to find Logan once his hair started growing back in its natural color. He was probably more enthusiastic than Roman was about his soulmate. The jet black eyes were still bothering him. It was time to get drastic. ---- Virgil stared in the mirror. One eye was still purple but the other was green. A wide grin broke across his face and he hoped his soulmate kept this style for a while. It was a shame he hadn't found anyone with such wild hair colors yet. Patton was watching for him too but it wasn't easy to find a soulmate unless they did something crazy.

He really wanted to meet them though. ---- Roman was at his wits' end. Nothing got the message across. Nor could he find anyone with wildly colored eyes and jet black hair. He decided it was time for his most daring attempt yet.

He went and got his hair bleached again. After 2 months of getting it progressively lightened he finally had platinum blond hair and was ready for the ultimate revenge.

Full Rainbow.

Roman adored his new look, as gay as he could make his hair, and he laughed every time he thought of his soulmate with rainbow eyes he couldn't change. ---- Virgil had an aesthetic. His eyes were no longer playing by his rules and looked gay as fuck. He guessed his soulmate was a gay boy who was probably very very flamboyant. Well, he wasn't flamboyant but he could match the energy of his tie-dye rainbow eyes. He started wearing rainbow eyeshadow instead of black, citing his eyes as the reason why.

He smiled, knowing his soulmate couldn't get to him. He kept dying his hair black with bangs long enough to hide behind if he didn't want his splash of colors immediately seen. ---- Remus was amazed he'd managed to drag his no-nonsense boyfriend and utterly preppy brother to a music festival. Although he might have been the only one enjoying himself. Logan was standing stoically still as Remus tried to get him to dance along or mosh or anything.

Roman sipped on his drink and stared at the sea of dyed hair, frightened of what kind of person might be his soulmate when Logan pointed out someone and whispered to Remus. Remus dashed off into the crowd and came back dragging another boy about their age with jet black hair and long bangs, head tilted down, and a scowl on his face.

"Let me go! I don't know you and I will press charges!" the boy shouted as Remus brought him back.

"Oh hush up and let destiny work its magic," Remus scolded, shoving the boy towards Roman, "look Ro, he could be your soulmate."

"Remus, you should have talked with him first. That was kidnapping," Logan glared at Remus.

"Eh, what's a felony conviction when true love is on the line?"

"I don't believe in true love, can I go back to my friend now?" the boy stared down at the ground. Roman found him fascinating, everything about him was as black as his own eyes and his sour personality had Roman intrigued.

"What color are your eyes, stranger?" Roman tried to ask warmly. He could see the movement as the boy's eyes flicked to look at him through his bangs.

"Your head looks like a box of crayons, what are you even doing here?" the boy smirked.

"I'm here with my friends, Count Monochrome," Roman scoffed.

"I'm pretty sure you guaranteed I'm never monochromatic," Virgil looked up, tossing his bangs to the side, eyes and eyeshadow on display.

"Oh my…" Roman stared into dazzling rainbows that perfectly matched his hair. Logan elbowed Remus with a smirk.

Virgil laughed, "look, I really dig the purple, and the green, and the red, basically all of it. Please never go back to brown."

"Well, only if you change to something less terrifying!" Roman found his voice again and laughed at Virgil’s shocked expression.

"Wait, you don't like the black?" Virgil asked nervously fingering his hair.

"Look at my eyes and tell me you would," Roman scoffed.

Virgil stepped closer, staring into Roman’s eyes, "I love them. Your eyes look so cool and edgy and mesmerizing. Yeah of course I would like black eyes."

Roman stared back helplessly, breath caught in his throat because of Virgil’s colorful gaze.

"Oh just kiss already!" Remus interjected, snickering at the two.

"Pass," Virgil raised a hand and shot a look at Remus.

"Why not?" Roman asked quietly.

"Uh, we just met. I don't even know your name. And it's possible someone else out there has rainbow hair and black eyes so like, we can't know for sure, right? Not until one of us changes," Virgil took a step back, not liking that he had to explain his thought process.

"You're right, I'm sorry… would you be willing to test the theory with me?" Roman backed off. He liked this rainbow-eyed emo and couldn't put his finger on why, "I'm Roman, what's your name?" he offered a hand to shake.

Virgil ignored the offered hand, "Virgil, and sure. We can try. What did you have in mind, Roman?"

"Well, you dig the purple, right?" ---- Roman was much better at dyeing other people's hair than his own. Virgil let him bleach out a swath of black and color it with the purple Roman had leftover. They avoided each other’s eyes until the dye was set and Virgil had rinsed and washed it well. He came out of the shower with his black skinny jeans on and a towel wrapped around his shoulders, stained black and purple from years of use. Roman looked up and met his eyes.

Virgil gasped. Instead of pure jet black eyes, Roman now had purple irises rimmed in black, similar to his hair. And he thought they were just as stunning as before.

Roman quickly pulled out his phone to check and gasped as well.

"Sorry, if I had known you didn't like the black, I wouldn't have changed a thing," Virgil grinned as Roman stood and walked toward him.

"Thank you for trusting me, Virgil," Roman smiled and held out his arms for a hug.

"I'm just glad you were right," Virgil blushed but accepted the hug from his soulmate.

It was a lot more fun to decide colors together.

Tag List: @stoicpanther @ifrickenhatedeverythingaboutthis @idontgiveafuckaboutshit @tsshipmonth2020

#Soulmate September 2020 #tsshipmonth2020 #Prinxiety #background intrulogical #soulmate au #eyes #eye contact #kidnapping mention #swearing #roman sanders #virigl sanders #logan sanders #remus sanders #yes logan is a red headed jock #patton mentioned like once

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dukeofonions · 3 years

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Season Two Episode Ranking

Warning: I get very, very, very, critical in this ranking. Like, angry ranting that’s almost laughable. Should I be getting this worked up over an online series? Eh, probably not. But this is my life and I’ll get outrageously angry over whatever media I want.

Seriously though, this is all just my personal opinion. I’m not saying you have to agree with me and if you like the episodes that I don’t then that’s perfectly fine.

I tend to overthink things a lot and I spend most of my time analyzing every little details of this series because what else am I supposed to do at work?

So yeah, this ranking is definitely less positive than the one I did for the first season. But I hope y’all can still have some fun going over it! And if anyone does their own rankings be sure to tag me because I’d love to see them and see how mine compare!

Anyways, enough of me acting like this is more important than it is, on with the ranking!

I can’t believe season two only has 12 episodes. Now I went ahead and counted Moving On as one episode in this ranking since my opinions on both parts are pretty similar, but sweet cheese and fish this season started on September 1st, 2017 with Fitting in and right now is left on Putting Others First which came out on May 1st, 2020. And as of me writing this it is now May 2nd, 2021. It’s been a whole year since the last episode and we still have no idea when the finale is coming.

Like, bruh.

Also remember how the longest episode in season one was only about 15 minutes long and the shortest one was barely four minutes?

Well the shortest episode in season two is Crofters- The Musical which is 8:42 seconds. The longest episode is Putting Others First which is a whopping 51:09.

And I wish I could say that the writing was on the same level it was in the first season, but there’s a reason I put that warning up there.

Well, enough stalling, let’s get this ball rolling.

#11 Embarrassing Phases

There are no words in the English language that can describe the sheer amount of hatred I have for this episode. If I could rank this any lower, I would, which will happen once we finally get the season finale. I don't know how that episode will go but it'll definitely be better than whatever dumpster fire this was.

Like, okay. I have some positives. Roman, Patton, and Virgil's costumes were cool. I won't lie I live for vampire Virgil. And the message about embracing your past "phases" and exploring how they helped made you who you are. That's neat. I like that.

And that's it.

My biggest gripe with this episode is Virgil. He just acts like a complete bitch in this! And I don't mean that in an endearing way he's literally so mean for no reason!

He's all "You guys are trivializing my past!"

In response to them going "Hey Virgil, we're glad you're part of our group now and are proud of how far you've come!"

Like okay, even if it was insensitive to call it a "phase" literally there was no reason for him to get as angry as he did.

Just a simple; "Hey, I don't like it when you refer to what I went through as a phase because it feels like you're not talking it seriously."

Isnt that what this whole show is about? Communication???

It wasn't fun watching him just insulting the others, it was annoying!

Like poor Patton, just trying to help and be encouraging, only for Virgil to keep treating him like dirt.

What did I miss here? Virgil was fine in the last few episodes, so what the heck happened?

Oh and let's not forget the great advice Thomas offers Patton at the end of the episode in regards to handling Virgil: "Don't do anything to get on his bad side or else he'll do bad things to you!"

Okay I'm paraphrasing here but that's basically what he says! And since Virgil is supposed to be a representation of anxiety, this is a horrible message!!!

What happened to finding healthy ways to cope with your anxiety? What happened to keeping it in check so it didn't take over your life?

Yeah I'm definitely gonna make a full post about this one episode later because there's a whole lot more to unpack here. But yeah -10/10

#10 Putting Others First

There is just way too much going on with this episode. They try cramming so much in here that I don't even remember more than half of it.

I remember the opening song, then the Lilypadton fight and everything that happens from there. That's it.

And those are the best parts of this episode, but even that has problems because everything with Janus feels like a completely different episode.

Also the whole way they try to teach about morality is all over the place. How did we go from choosing a wedding over a callback to deciding whether or not you would die for your friends to self care is important?

And while the video game sequences, while utilized well in some places, were way too distracting and it felt like they were just trying to shove as many video game references in as they could.

You could take out just about all of them and the episode wouldn't change. Everything they were used for could have been done just through having the characters talk to each other, and knowing this makes the fact that this video was delayed for so long because of it just makes the whole thing worse.

Like the animations were well done, and I don't want to downplay the hard work the animator did. They were just doing their job after all.

But the trolley scenes (especially the second one) hurt my eyes with all the flashing (would have been nice to have some kind of warning for that) and some of the voice effects (especially on Logan's) were grating and distracting.

I want to rank this episode higher, but it has almost zero rewatch ability and honestly besides the ending, when I first watched this episode I was just kinda let down.

#9 Crofters- The Musical

Okay look, the song is a bop and I adore the fact that Logan and Roman got two episodes in the spotlight, but it's just kinda "meh" to me. Plus I get just a tinge of second hand embarrassment but that's just me.

And I know this is kinda unfair but another reason why this one isn't higher is because of a couple of things. One is that they set up some angst for Roman, he's clearly not doing well and Thomas thinks the best thing to do is tell him that he might get his own jam flavor.

Then he does, and instead of following up on that little plot point from this video, they just rushed out a commercial and completely ignored and potential story telling or character development for Roman.

So yeah "Return of the Jam" is the main reason why I don't like this one as much as I used to. And I actually just got an idea for a new post comparing these two so add that to my to-do list.

#8 Fitting In

I actually skipped this one during my first official watch through for one reason and one reason alone: I wasn't allowed to watch Harry Potter.

But I realized that my parents wouldn't approve of me of watching a gay man's content either so I just said screw it.

And luckily I understood enough Harry Potter references to get what they were talking about and honestly, this episode is a lot of fun.

It's a good follow up to Accepting Anxiety, and a nice way to kick off season two. Virgil is finding his place among the group and everyone is trying their best to make him feel welcome, it's really sweet.

And of course we get the new costumes (which i hadn't even noticed that they were wearing their old costumes at first) and I dunno it just gives off season one vibes and it makes me happy.

#7 Moving On Part One/Moving On Part Two

Yeah honestly my thoughts on both parts of this episode are the same. What can I say? It's really good.

This definitely one of the more emotionally heavy episodes in the series, and we see the characters at their lowest for really, the first time in this series.

I adore Patton's room and how each side gets their own corners. All the little details they add in, including the changing picture in the background, it really gives off that nostalgia feel they were going for.

What I love most about this episode is how (unlike some other episodes) they actually let the emotional moments sink in and don't throw in a joke immediately after. Like the ending is bittersweet, sad almost, and I love that they stuck with the mood up until the episode ended.

Not to say there weren't some jokes here and there (mostly in the first part) but once the mood shifts and things become more serious they let that mood stay. And when there are jokes they all work really well.

This is one episode I've actually watched the least out of season two, so it'll be interesting when I go watch it again to see if any of this holds up.

#6 Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning?

Honestly I only put this one above Moving On because Logan and Roman are my favorites.

This episode is actually one of the weaker ones, which hurts to say because again, favorite characters, but goodness it's all over the place. It feels like a precursor to POF and not in a good way.

Logan and Roman just basically argue back and forth throughout the whole episode, never seeing eye to eye with each other, to the point where I think think the writers realized they couldn't find a way to get these two to agree so they just had Thomas step in and be like, "You guys make a really good team!"

Dude, were you even paying attention? They never even reached a conclusion on their own. And even though they have their little moment at the end, it's all kinda ruined when nothing in their relationship changes.

Yes, in Learning New Things About Ourselves, they acknowledge that there's more work to be done in regards to them, which makes sense. People aren't going to suddenly change overnight.

Yet despite having come to some kind of understanding with each other twice now (both here and LNTAO) in the following episodes they still act like they hate each other! Heck Roman is downright nasty to him for seemingly no reason and I don't really blame him for it.

More like I think the writers just don't know how to develop their relationship and just aren't as interested in them as the others. Logan's been reduced to being Mr. Exposition and apparently Roman's personal issues aren't enough for him to carry a room episode on his own because they felt the need to introduce two new characters before he finally gets it.

Sorry, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, the episode.

There's some funny bits here and there and the little animations are cute (even if unnecessary) but really it's only saving grace is being Roman and Logan centered.

Even though they felt the need to include a cameo from literally every other character because apparently no one has any faith that Logan and Roman can carry an episode on their own.

#5 The Sanders Sides 12 Days of Christmas

This episode is just pure fun. Look, I'm not a big fan of Christmas, even less of a fan of Christmas songs, but my gosh this episode almost makes me appreciate the season.

The way they're all just bickering the whole time, being very confused, and how there's just so much personality from each character even when they're not talking/singing and just being in the background is *chef's kiss* perfect.

There's so many fun little details to pick out during the song and it's fun to go back and watch how each side reacts to different things.

#4 Selfishness vs Selflessness

Gonna be real, this used to be my favorite episode. Until my overly critical brain started finding all kinds of problems in the writing department but I think I’ve been negative enough on this post so I’ll save it for another time.

Janus steals the show in this one, it’s his first official appearance since his debut and he just soaks up the spotlight. It’s refreshing to have an antagonist in the show again, and he’s the perfect foil for each of the original Sides.

He knows how to play into Roman’s insecurities, know how to feed into his ego and get him on his side. He’s in direct opposition to Patton, who believes that everything Janus represents is wrong. He’s able to silence Logan and take him out of the conversation, speaking over him most of the time.

And I guess he and Virgil have some beef I dunno.

The courtroom scenario is fun, and I love how Janus is the only one who sees how ridiculous it is (even though it was your idea in the first place, Jan) and everyone else seeing it as perfectly normal is hilarious.

I do like some of the more dramatic moments in this episode, especially that final bit with Janus questioning Thomas until he finally gets him to admit the truth. It was intense and reminded me of the scene where Janus confronts Roman in a similar manner.

While far from perfect this is still a good episode and I can find a lot to love about it, like Janus in a suit.

#3 Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts

This episode scared the shit out of me and I loved it.

Okay it didn’t actually scare me. But I stayed up to wait for it to be posted, which wasn’t until 2 or 3 in the morning. So by the time I finally watched it I was half awake and not expecting anything that I witnessed.

The result was me being terrified of Thomas with a mustache and it prevented me from sleeping. I was over it the next day though and had Forbidden Fruit stuck in my head all day. Which isn’t good when you’re running the register at work and you can’t stop singing it.

There’s a lot of reason why I love this episode, Remus being the primary thing. His entrance is iconic, the first few notes from his theme play as he creeps up behind the TV, him smiling at Roman all creepily until he whacks him over the head and knocks him out for most of the episode.

Then we get the song, Forbidden Fruit, which is just great. Slight secondhand embarrassment but seeing the finished product and all they put into it, I can’t help but love it.

Still miffed that Janus hasn’t gotten a song... specifically a villain song... I won’t ever let that go...

Logan is another highlight in this episode (no surprise) and seeing him go head-to-head against his polar opposite without batting an eye was interesting since I was kinda expecting them to show Logan having trouble dealing with Remus but nope. He handled it like a champ and I love them both.

Now I am kinda wary as to how they’re going to handle Remus in the future, especially with the intrusive thoughts aspect. It’s a sensitive topic and they’re already screwing up anxiety. But Remus has only been in one episode so far which means I can’t make any solid judgments until he’s appeared in more episodes, so I’ll have to wait and see.

All in all, great episode! Definitely deserves to be in my top three.

#2 Learning New Things About Ourselves

This episode made me feel so nostalgic. I freaking love puppets and grew up with Sesame Street and the Muppets, so I’m probably biased towards this episode but to me this is really one of the better written episodes.

Perfect? Heck no. But really, really good.

I love that we get to explore a bit more with Logan and Roman’s characters, in a lot of ways this is kind of a Logan episode which has him standing against the other Sides, and it’s really interesting to see just how different he is compared to the three of them and it could just be me but it seemed like he’s becoming more of an outsider and isn’t as close with the original four as he used to be, and this episode is what really kicks that idea off.

I can also relate to the “Well that’s nice but what do you do for a living?” message, except in my case it’s more like I want to quit my “real job” to pursue what I’m passionate about while people tell me it’ll probably never happen or “Yeah that’s a nice hobby!” So this episode really struck close to home and I just have a lot of sentimental feelings towards this one.

I love all of the designs for the puppets, they all just fit perfectly and I wouldn’t mind seeing them make a comeback one day. I know that’d be difficult since they’d need a professional to puppet them but hey, one can dream right?

And oh my gosh the song, it just gives off the same feel from Sesame Street and Muppet songs with it’s jazzy feel. And I won’t lie I flipped my lid when Logan and Thomas were in the same shot together. We hadn’t seen any of the Sides share the screen with Thomas yet and the fact that it was Logan, and he was arguing with Thomas and they were singing over each other? Ah I love it!

Also don’t get me started on how Logan’s bit in the song sounds more villainous than the others. I’m not saying anything just a neat little observation.

I have a lot of happy feelings attached to this episode, so despite the few problems I have with it I could never bring myself to hate it. The only one that tops it is...

#1 Can Lying Be Good?

The episode that started it all. The one that caught my attention and sparked my new fixation on this little series that I had just glossed over before.

I really don’t know what prompted me to watch this episode, other than I wasn’t in the best place and it just happened to pop into my recommendations one day and I figured, “Huh, haven’t watched this guy for awhile. Let’s see what he’s been up to.”

Once the episode was finished my first thought was “Holy shit when did this series start having lore?!”

This episode is probably the closest thing to perfect out of all the season two episodes so far. The writing is clever, pretty much all of the jokes land, and oh my gosh the editing in this one is phenomenal.

The way they show Roman shifting between himself and Joan throughout the episode is what sticks out the most. Having Roman’s voice coming from Joan, or having them briefly change back to Roman, I love it so much.

Not to mention Thomas’s ever changing shirt that reflects what he’s thinking/feeling is a neat little detail.

Did I mention this episode is hilarious? The ridiculousness of each scenario that they act out, with all the little inputs from Logan and Virgil who are both trying their best to do their jobs besides not even wanting to be part of it in the first place is adorable.

And of course, the man of the hour, Deceit. Or Janus as we now know him as.

Is it weird that I like Deceit more as a name? Probably, but that’s just because I don’t like how early his name was revealed.

Okay that was my last negative comment. Promise.

Now since I hadn’t watched Sanders Sides in a while I didn’t notice anything off about “Patton” during my first watch. But going back after seeing the rest of the series helped me catch all the little hints they added to clue in the audience that something wasn’t right.

A lot of it is really subtle, mostly in the acting department, but once you’ve caught on to everything it makes you wonder how you didn’t notice the first time. You can even see Logan and Virgil throughout the episode, knowing that something is off with “Patton” but holding back their concerns until Virgil finally calls Deceit out.

I’ve rewatched Deceit’s reveal so many times. When he finally drops the act after Thomas makes up his mind not to lie, you can just tell he no longer cares whether Thomas knows or not. Then things get even more tense when Logan is silenced, and everyone knows what’s going on except Thomas.

The music starts to build up, Thomas is flipping out, then after Deceit taunts him again he finally demands to know what’s going on and BAM there he is!

I love everything about this.

Like, what else can I say? This episode is brilliant. It really shows exactly what this team is capable of when they’re at their best. The pacing, the build up, the writing, all of it combined together to make the perfect episode.

Season Two has been, interesting. The long waits have caused some problems with the pacing and characters, not to mention the departure of Joan from the writing team with new writers entering the room, not to mention the first welcome now unwelcome arrival of Asides, and with only the season finale left before season three, it makes me wonder just where this series is headed.

I know this series is capable of doing incredible things, season one is still solid and it really holds up even after all this time. But season two just feels like a jumbled mess. Sure, it’s easy to enjoy the episodes individually, but once you try to fit them all together it’s like trying to jam a puzzle piece into a place where it doesn’t fit.

The best way to describe this season is as an experimental season. Each episode has the team trying something new, sometimes it seems these gimmicks take precedence over the story itself. Of course, some of these can work to the episode’s advantage, while others are just distracting and you’d know you wouldn’t miss them if they were gone.

It’s a mixed bag that’s for sure. One that has me watching in morbid curiosity as I wait to see whether it’ll crash in the end or blow my expectations out of the water. It really is fun to analyze these episodes, and yes I know I can be very harsh but believe it or not this is how I engage with media that I love.

My hope is that team will learn from season two and try to take a more simple approach with their production once season three roles around. Because if they continue at the same pace they are now I doubt there will be many people around to see this series through.

And on that note, that was my ranking of season two! I’m actually kinda excited now to go back and rewatch everything, I hope I don’t have to wait much longer to do so but that all depends on when the season two finale comes. Whether it ends up exceeding my expectations or just being “meh” I know it’ll be interesting regardless and I can’t wait to see just how they plan on wrapping this all up before the final season arrives.

#dukeofrankings #dukeofcritical #this one post spawned so many future posts #i'm gonna be a busy onion

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stxleslyds · 4 years

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Part 2 of my Under the Red Hood Review

Hello! Here I am again with part two of this review, if you want to read the first part I will link it here!

Let’s continue!

Chapter eight gives us a look into the past, to when Jason was stealing the batmobile’s tires, to one of the first times Jason went out as Robin with Batman and everything was wonderful…then one of the scenes from the past show a Jason that may come off as a bit more aggressive on the job, it’s also shown that he does agree that the level of aggression was unnecessary but that the criminal deserved it anyway.

I know that sometimes people get the impression that Jason was an angry and extremely aggressive Robin, which is not correct, he was a sweetheart (and I am referring to Post-Crisis Jason because that’s what is in continuity in this story) just like Dick (he had forty years of being a sweetheart too, Marv Wolfman misses me with that angsty and angry shit) but I think what’s important here is the fact that Jason saw things differently from Bruce and that does not make him a bad Robin, it makes him a Robin with different experiences and as a human being he is allowed to change his views, also let’s be honest, hormones are a bitch so emotions are at an all-time high so he is bound to change. This does not mean that his death was his fault, Jason felt lost and wanted a mother and he made some decisions but Bruce was the adult and he should have paid more attention to him and his behavior so in this house the only ones to blame for Jason’s death will always be the Joker and Batman.

Rant over.

Back to the issue we see Bruce, who has been doing tests and analyzing the coffin that Jason was supposedly buried in for hours, he is a whole ass mess but at some point in time he reaches a verdict…There was never a body in the coffin.

In chapter nine we meet Davis McCullen and Alfie Tisner who have a sort of meth lab in Black Mask or Red Hood’s territory, they don’t really know, and they also have a friend that is selling drugs to kids so yeah…they are in big trouble.

As I read I expect Hood to kind of appear out of thin air and kill them but that doesn’t happen, Batman is the one that comes crashing through a window and tells them that if they don’t pack their things and move they are dead because there is a wall full of C4 (that Jason implanted), Batman wastes no time and gets to work on disarming the bomb as he does that Jason makes himself known (trough a microphone) and tells the Bat that there is no way he can do it and that he better run too. Bruce says that the building is empty and there is no reason for him to blow it up which Jason is aware of and then suggests that Batman knows how much good it does to put a little fear into people and…boom.

Look at this little shit.

We soon find out that the building belonged to Black Mask, and that is not the only thing that Hood wants off the map, he is shown blowing up one of Masks trucks that is full of weapons. Here we also learn a bit more about his modus operandi, he never steals drugs or weapons for himself, he just destroys them and while they were expecting that behavior in what Hood deemed his territory, he is now doing it everywhere. We also find out that before he was trying to get Mask’s people to work for him but now he just kills them.

He is, however, taking his cut from wherever he can, so maybe he is building his own empire and his move as of now is eliminating the competition. This theory is proven true when Jason in all his glory and with a bazooka shoots Mask’s office floor.

Mask is pissed off and as he is screaming into the wind an angel answers his call…Deathstroke is here and he wants to play. This is not pleasing for Hood or Batman.

Slade is working with the Society and Mask wants Hood “Serious dead. Head on a pike, guts on the pavement, me wearing a sweater vest made of his skin kind of dead.” So, Slade sends people to take care of the job.

Mask isn’t pleased though, apparently Captain Nazi (???), Hyena and an unknown third party aren’t enough for him but Slade assures him that they will get the job done, no worries.

The attack on Hood comes when some men are trying to send a “message” to him and here is where weirdo one and two bamboozle our boy.

The fight that ensues is good but is overshadowed by what Alfred says behind the scene, he talks about how Jason as Robin told him that Batman and the legend of what he could do didn’t necessarily scare the “dress ups” the way that it scared the street thugs, so as a consequence they were more dangerous, Alfred true to himself tried to explain that the dress ups probably believe different things about Batman but Jason told him something that shocked him, he said “They all know he won’t kill them.” Which is true, you, me and Alfred know it.

As Alfred continues “talking” the fight welcomes a new player, Batman. He narrates the fight and realizes that they need to team up which comes naturally to them both, in a second they are in synch just like they used to back in the cave all those years ago. As the fight is coming to an end the third party arrives…yep Count Vertigo is here, the fight doesn’t last long though, because there is adrenaline and hyenas and scents the fight is over in no time (I am not explaining that fight, it’s so weird). Captain Nazi is the only casualty and Batman isn’t happy but just like Jason I am okay with it, if he had to kill one of them let it be the Nazi.

Jason obviously leaves and taunts the Bat once more.

Alfred ends the monologue by saying that Jason never understood that it wasn’t Batman’s strength or stealth that scared his adversaries but his resolve.

So, Batman makes a dramatic promise, “Time for this to end.” dun dun duuuuun

Chapter eleven part one opens with Alfred telling us about one of his and Bruce’s hobbies, they used to collect first editions of books and it soon became a tradition that Alfred then shared with both Dick and Jason…so when he finds a package for him and B that says “Just two to add to the pile. Cheers – Jason” Alfred immediately contacts Bruce.

Back to Black Mask, he apparently decided to set up a meeting with his right-hand men, they think that they are there to evaluate the idea of making a deal with Red Hood so he stops messing up their business and they are right! It’s just that the deal was made between Mask and Hood and it consisted in them being killed off.

“Are you happy?” Roman asks.

“Getting there” Hood answers.

Back with Alfred we are able to see what is in the package. In it there is a lock of green hair with tissue included so yeah, now they know that Jason has the Joker, and he was nice enough to give them an address.

Once again with Mask and Hood well, let me tell you if Hood is just “getting there” then Mask is just not happy. They get into an argument, a big one, Mask says that killing all his right-hand men should be sufficient but Hood says it isn’t. It goes on for a while and Mask loses his marbles completely, apparently he put everything on the line for the deal but Hood really doesn’t give a fuck. A fist connects with Hood’s face and a fight ensues, while they do that they also yell at each other about the proper way of running the underworld, the fear factor, who is prettier, who is the best gangster and who looks better in biker clothing…you know, the important stuff.

I am not undermining the fight, believe me but it’s just that they talk, punch and throw each other across the room a lot. Sacrifice and what they are willing to do for Gotham or better said what they are willing to do TO Gotham are the last things they discuss.

Just as the end of the fight comes, we once again have Alfred talking in the background about the time Jason died and the time Bruce’s parents died and how different the two instances are, Bruce was a little boy and defenseless when his parents died but when Jason died he had everything, the training, gadgets and abilities the only thing that he lacked was time.

And as it turns out that’s about to happen once more…Batman is going to arrive to the place where Jason and Mask are going at it just in time to see Jason drop dead on the floor.

Don’t worry friends Jason isn’t dead (again) it’s just a random dude with a mustache and Mask is pissed about it, what’s new?

Jason is actually with the Joker, and by “with the Joker” I mean being annoyed by the Joker…he is ranting on and on about how he killed him, how good things come in threes like Batman, Robin and himself. At some point Joker decides that the sensible thing to do next is compare Jason still letting him live with Batman’s no killing rule and then to make matters worse compare Jason’s actions as Red Hood with his own.

I absolutely LOVE Jason in this moment, I swear seeing Joker’s smile fade away brings me joy, he tells him exactly what he doesn’t want to hear. Jason isn’t like the Bat he won’t stay and play his game; this man right here just scared the Joker and nobody can’t tell me otherwise.

Back to Batman, he is trying his best to shake Mask off but the man keeps questioning if he knows who the Red Hood is and why did he let him operate in such a brutal way for so long (and affecting his business, poor thing so sad). Batman basically tells him to stop playing victim, he thinks that Mask crossed a line that someone really didn’t want crossed and that at the end of the day he is just another gagster…which is exactly what Hood had said moments ago trough the helmet to Black Mask, in a moment of great intelligence Mask deduces that maybe Batman actually knows exactly who Hood is.

Batman of course doesn’t answer because he thinks he is slick but the cat is out of the bag. Among the ruble of the helmet that just exploded (yeah the helmet had a built in bomb, that detonated after Mask unmasked the mustache man) Batman finds a message from Hood, a place and “you know where”.

The east end, Crime Alley. That’s where Jason takes him because it’s “fitting”, after all it’s the place where they first met.

Jason tells Batman that the Joker is in the building next to them and that he has it wired to blow it up, so Batman being his stupid self says that he won’t let him kill the Joker (come on Jason why do you want to kill the nice clown man, he is such a sweetheart).

The fight between those two is about to start when the scene changes. An attack, a living bomb called Chemo is being dropped (by the Society) in Bludhaven, Nightwing’s city. And Batman has a front row seat to see the show.

Yep, it’s not a good time to make snarky comments Jason; as far as both of them know Dick Grayson is dead. And the emotion in Batman’s face is heartbreaking, we as the readers have seen impossible situations, characters surviving shit that they wouldn’t in real life but characters within comics don’t know that… so, Bruce just saw another one of his sons die. (Dick is alive though, don’t worry)

Now, Jason has been a little shit during the whole story, but do not think for a moment that the situation somehow brings any form of positive emotion within him, what happens is that he sees an emotionally compromised Batman and well, will there ever be a better chance to manipulate him into feeling even worse?

…If Batman leaves, the Joker dies. So, first choice for the Bat, either he goes to what’s left of Bludhaven and searches for Dick or he stays and doesn’t let Jason kill the Joker.

Batman chooses to fight, and once again they start the same dance but this time B has upgraded his gadgets (you will never catch him wearing the same thing twice! Shame on you!) Jason teases him a little bit about the cape and B burns his jacket…

Batman has a whole speech about how Jason won’t be able to save Gotham or be better than him…that he knows that he failed him and is trying not to do it again. But Jason says that the failure he talks about isn’t really were his problem lies.

There we have it. And I would like to ask the same thing, why is the Joker still alive? Would it actually be so bad if he were beaten to death by someone’s bare hands? (Check out Joker: Last Laugh #6 (January, 2002) for a surprise)

But that’s not the point, Jason is mad because he doesn’t understand and he feels betrayed, if the mad man kills a fifteen-year-old and then continues to kill and you as Batman aren’t willing to break the cycle of: 1) Joker escapes Arkham 2) Joker does something evil 3) Batman fights and captures him 4) Batman sends the Joker to Arkham 4) Arkham is already corrupt and lets him out after a while or he corrupts/kills a few people into letting him out, then what kind of man are you?

Batman obviously has an answer as to why he hasn’t killed Joker yet. He doesn’t do it because it will be too easy and not only that but he has thought about it…not just killing him but torturing him BUT! he won’t. He can’t really, you see, If he does it once maybe he will never stop (there he goes, the man with a resolve of steel) if he walks the dark path once he will walk it forever. Basically, Batman has zero willpower and zero control…my dude no one believes you!!!! Jason doesn’t either but he does have something to say.

Heartbreaking, that’s the only thing I have to say about these panels, these are panels that have always stuck with me. If you want this conversation to reach a whole new level of emotion I suggest you watch Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010) it’s an animated movie and Jason Todd is voiced by Jensen Ackles (who plays Dean Winchester in Supernatural) which is probably the best casting ever, Jensen is excellent at showing emotion with his voice. I totally know that probably all of you have seen the movie but it’s so good that I really think it’s worth watching again.

It doesn’t matter how emotional it’s for us, Batman can’t and won’t kill him, not even when Jason slides him a gun…so here comes the second time Batman has to make a choice

And he does, well, he uses a batarang to slice Jason’s throat making him let go off the Joker. Jason falls to the floor, a pool of blood around him. As that happens Joker grabs the gun and aims for the dynamite left there (remember that the building was set to go off) and shoots. BOOM!

And that’s the end. All three of them survive although Batman didn’t know that Jason was going to survive, I mean can he actually tell the future or…maybe I am missing something.

And yes, that was the end, I understand that to some it’s just a shitty ending and I don’t blame you…but to me it’s genius.

It ends with Batman betraying Jason. They don’t make up, Batman doesn’t try to come to an understanding with him, he just makes a choice, he would rather save the Joker before killing or letting Jason kill him, which is bullshit my friends because Jason has been killing this whole story and B has been aware of it.

Jason appears later in Nightwing issue #118 (May, 2006) to #122 (September, 2006) as Nightwing and with tentacles. Don’t worry, you don’t have to read that. After that he appears here and there but personally, I really didn’t catch up with him up until Batman: Battle for the Cowl.

Anyway, I am going to end it here, I hope whoever takes the time to read this enjoys it, see you around!

#red hood #jason todd #batman #under the red hood #comics #comic review #dick grayson #nightwing #gotham #bludhaven

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #425

“evolution repressed by our backwards contest / breeding our torrential demise as we come to this edge”

Serious question, peanut butter or nutella? I think Nutella is a godsend, but I use peanut butter waaaaay more often. We don't even really buy Nutella because I will destroy the jar. Do you prefer baked potatoes or mashed potatoes? Baked. What is your oldest sibling’s middle name? Kathryn. I think. Do you like breadsticks? I just like bread, man. What are your favorite things to spend money on? Tattoos, uuuuugggghhhhh <3 Which would you rather have a new puppy or kitten? Neither, really. Most puppies drive me insane (even though they're cute as everliving fuck), and I don't want another cat. Mom actually talked about getting another, but I really just want my one boy. Roman would get SO jealous, anyway. I enjoy just having my baby. How old will you be on your next birthday? 26. Yikes. Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? As "the fat one," I can be sometimes. I would say though that more often than not, it's sort of whatever to me because I'm a human that has to eat. When you opened your eyes this morning, what were your first thoughts? I thought I slept way later than I actually did. What is one thing in the room you’re in that reminds you of somebody? My stuffed meerkat Rebel. Jason got it for me for my first birthday that we were together. Could you ever be friends with somebody who was homophobic? Never again. I was once able to think "agree to disagree," but sometimes by doing so, you're siding with evil by not enforcing what is more than just a belief. It should come with being a human. Also given my own sexuality, it would be a slap in the face to me. Would you ever want to be a supermodel, or date one? Hell no. I'd date one though, if they were modest about their position. Honestly, have you ever made fun of somebody so bad they cried? Wow, no. Honestly, would you rather be complimented on your looks or intelligence? Quite frankly, nowadays, my appearance. I need it. My self-confidence is so far below "shit." Have you ever purchased a pregnancy test, for yourself or otherwise? Nope. You can get one thing, anything, for free right now. What do you pick? Why? Hm. I know I talk about it a lot, but it would still probably be a 40 gallon terrarium for Venus. She needs - and deserves - it. Honestly, have you ever danced naked? NOOOOOOOO. What was the first illegal thing that you did? Did you get caught? Downloaded music. My mom eventually found out, but didn't care much. What is the home page on the computer you’re on? Google. Do you like to write poetry? I do, but I haven't done it in a while. :/ Are your ears pierced? Yes. If so, were they pierced with a piercing gun, or with a sterile needle? Piercing gun. Which, by the way, do not do. There are many more risks with a piercing gun versus a needle by a professional. Do you wear makeup regularly? I never do. Did you eat cereal for breakfast today? No. I've been on a bagel kick lately. When was the last time you tripped over something? Last night, actually. The rug in the living room was slightly turned up, and I tripped in the dark. I didn't actually fall, thankfully. Any obsessive-compulsive tendencies? I'm diagnosed with OCD. I experience more ruminations and intrusive thoughts more than obsessive behaviors, though. Who was the last person you yelled at? Probably Mom. Why did you yell at them? I don't remember. Favorite type of apple? I like pink lady apples. I really enjoy any, so long as they're crisp. Ever seen live horse racing? No. To be totally honest, I don't really like the concept of it. Motivating a horse to run by hurting it doesn't exactly seem moral... How about live greyhound racing? No. What’s one thing, besides the obvious, that you couldn’t live without? The Internet, haha. Have you ever touched a giraffe? No. What does your mom call you? Britt. What stresses you out the most in life? I really don't think I could pick a top one. There are so many. Do you play any PC games? What is your favorite? Yeah. Y'all probably know WoW is my favorite. If you were pregnant, how would you tell the father? Well, that would depend on the circumstances. Did we want a baby? Was it a bad surprise, a happy surprise? I can't answer this with just one idea. What’s the hardest level you can play on Guitar Hero? I used to be able to slam out Expert easily with only very few songs I had to play on Hard, but now it's been YEARS. I've played less than once in a blue moon, and my skill's definitely faded some. It really depends on the song. What ever happened with you and your first boyfriend? He couldn't handle my depression anymore. What’s your favorite country song? "When The Stars Go Blue" by Tim McGraw, probably. What is the worst thing a former boyfriend/girlfriend has done to you? Fail to communicate what he was feeling with me and then make a dashing break for it very, very abruptly after three and a half years. It put me past a state of shock, but trauma with how no less than obsessed I was with him. What were you for Halloween last year? I didn't dress up. :/ I wish I had the money and motivation alike to. Are you feeling guilty for something? I always will. Are you usually quiet or loud? Quiet. How many hours do you spend on the computer a day? Like... uh... all of them, oof. What is the show that you watched when you were little, and you still do? Meerkat Manor. Do your siblings text you? Not really. Do you want a small or big wedding? Small. Have you ever searched for your own house on Google Earth? Not the house I currently live in, but I have before. Who is your ex dating/talking to? I don't know. Ever kissed someone who smokes? No. Does it take a lot for someone to annoy you? Frankly, no. Do you own your own computer? This laptop, anyway. Did you ever have to share a room with one of your siblings? Yes, with my younger sister as a kid and pre-teen. What noises in the room you’re in, do you hear at the moment? I hear the video I'm watching, as well as my fan. Have you ever dated someone with longer hair than yours? Yes. What’s the biggest upcoming event for you? Nothing. Not like that's a surprise. What do you typically order from Wendy’s? Son of the Baconator. @_@ Have you ever been given a lapdance by an actual stripper? No. Those are so awkward to me. What do you love most about yourself? I don't know these days. Have you ever received a hickey from the last person you kissed? No. What are you doing right now? This survey and re-watching John Wolfe play Outlast 2. What’s bothering you right now? I'm immensely nervous about tomorrow. I have my first (and I pray the fuck to God not only) session with my new personal trainer then, and I'm terrified by how my body and my mental fortitude is going to react. Y'all have no fucking idea JUST how out of shape I am, and the muscles in my legs seem basically non-existent by now. I have to do something about my health, though, and I'm determined to make this shit work. More than determined. I know the first day is going to be hard, but I need to do this more than I can explain. What was the last thing you drank? ... What great fucking timing, I have a can of Mountain Dew, lol... That's another thing that needs to change. I've gotta stop the emotional and boredom-eating and chill the fuck out with soda. Be honest, do you like people in general? Quite frankly, no. There are plenty of people I love and think are amazing, of course, but I think I lean towards humanity being too shitty to like "in general." Do you want your tongue pierced? I miss my snake eyes. :/ That was suuuuch a cute piercing. I just had to take it out for the safety of my teeth. I kept accidentally clamping down on one of the balls when eating, and it would cause tiny fractures. Do you change your phone background a lot? No. Have you ever made someone so mad that they broke something? No. Have you ever been strip searched? No. Do you have a funny last name? Does anyone make fun of it? It's not funny-sounding, no, I just think it's too manly for me to enjoy as part of my name. Ever have a drug overdose? What did you OD on exactly? Yes. Oddly enough, I don't remember what I OD'd on now... You'd think I would, given how extreme the situation was. It was some cold medicine. Do you get sick of people who call themselves bipolar all the time? I absolutely do. It's extremely insensitive to people like myself who legitimately suffer - and I do mean "suffer" - from the disorder. Describe your day so far in three words: Dull. Lazy. Anxious. What was the most stressful project you had so far/while in school? Probably my senior project and the presentation I had to do for it. I taught about the fallacies and misconceptions of snakes, and I made a PowerPoint and some drawings to color and crosswords for the special ed children. I was so, so very nervous, but I got through it fine and the kids seemed to enjoy it. I actually still have the recording. Choose one- Butterfinger, Milky Way, Snickers: MILKY WAY. FUCK I love those. Have you ever stepped in dog poop? UGH yes. What was the last thing you spent money on? My niece's birthday present. Have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed? Yeah. Is there a guy that knows a lot about you? I almost said "yes," but then I realized he doesn't know me at all anymore. I've changed so much, hopefully mostly for the better. He hasn't "known" me in many years. Is there someone you just can’t imagine your life without? It's terrifying to imagine my life without Mom; Sara, too. Do you prefer Starbucks coffee or small cafe coffee? I prefer no coffee. Would you ever consider getting a piercing in your septum? Nah. Do you enjoy being outdoors? If it's cool outside and I have somewhere to sit that's not the ground, yes. Do people tell you that you have an accent? Sometimes. Do you enjoy watching fireworks on the 4th of July? They're pretty, but I don't support their usage by this point in my life. They're a fire hazard, triggering to some vets with PTSD, and beyond terrifying for animals. What’re some unspeakable subjects for you? I get most heated about child molestation. You do not fucking touch a child like that. I don't even write any of my bajillion evil guys committing it in RP because I just can't stomach it. Even when my little sister (a children's social worker) is telling Mom about some stuff she sees at work, I have to not be present, 'cuz that shit isn't rare. It's nauseating. Is there anyone you would take a bullet for? A good number of people, honestly. Do you enjoy tanning? Hell no, I avoid the sun and heat at like all costs. Are you a virgin? This is going to sound weird, but I actually don't know, but I lean towards no. Who’s your celebrity crush? mARK EDWARD FISCHFUCK Did or do you get good grades in English class? I was always excellent in English. What part of your body are you self-conscious about? My stomach. But I'm self-conscious about everything else, too. Are you expected to help fix Thanksgiving dinner? No. Everyone knows I can't cook worth a damn. Have you ever lost anyone close to cancer? Truly close, no. Unless you include pets, actually. Then a few. :/ Do you personally know anyone who is transgender? Yep. When was the last time you got a shot? Earlier this year for Covid. Get your fucking vaccine, btw. :^)

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''altaer" by 3teeth

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alchemist-shizun · 4 years

Text

Eventyr

Word Count: 7058

Characters: Virgil, Janus, Roman, some original background characters

Pairing(s): Anxceit, platonic prinxiety

Warning(s): self-loathing, fire, death mention, wound mention, crying

Summary: It wasn't that exasperated move they did back in the woods, but more of a caring one, like they were carrying the most precious thing in the world to them. He did feel like he was, to them, their tenderness made him believe it with one quick glance.

A/N: Just so you know, the depiction of the mythical Hamingja is partly accurate, 80% completely made up for plot point. Basically most of this has been invented. I don't know if the hamingja title is an exact translation from Norwegian so I apologize, I tried. Anywho this is a super late present for @deetheimposter 's bday because I'm v slow and this took surprisingly a huge amount of time. Hope whoever decides to read it likes it! (Janus uses neutral pronouns here)

✾

There had never been a better time.

A low translucent mist still hovered above the dark blades of grass during the passage between night and day; the towering moon was lending some of its light so that the two lone heroes could continue their journey.

« According to the directions we were given in the last village, the so called “Molten Stone” should be just ahead. » Roman indicated right in front of himself, glancing back to his journey partner, Virgil, who was a few steps behind checking for any unwanted surprises.

« How does a molten stone even look like? »

« That's the take, friend. » he offered with a grin. « Don't think with your mind. »

Virgil started to ponder what else could there possibly be that he could think with as they ventured further in the forest.

He could see the mist quickly attaching to his boots and becoming tiny droplets of condensed air.

His feet followed Roman relentlessly, yet there was other stuff in his mind: less than an hour earlier or so, he had felt like something had been off. Virgil kept looking around for proofs and, with every turn, it was as if he caught a glimpse of some kind of entity following them.

Trying to shake the feeling off, he couldn't help but hear his family's voices reprimanding him in his head.

You're just paranoid, they would say, you're being overly vigilant, loosen up your shoulders.

His body tried to relax at best, releasing the tension in every reachable muscle, until the two friends stopped in front of a large body of water.

« This is it. » Roman trustingly affirmed.

Virgil glanced at the scene and slowly nodded, pursing his lips. « Yeah. A huge lake. Cool view, where's that rock now? »

His friend chuckled. « Right here! Don't you get it? »

Roman gestured to the water, so that the other could indulge further in his own inspection.

Virgil observed the water and realized what an odd optical illusion the lake's surface made mixed with the fog and the light shining from the- what?

Why were there warm coloured lights coming from the water?

Then he saw it.

A yellow eye disappeared behind a tree on the other side of the lake; Virgil took Roman's arm without breaking eye-contact from the tree. It was their silent understood signal to maintain carefulness, looking at each other's back.

« I don't trust this place. » Virgil murmured, his eyes wider than ever. « Are you sure they gave you the right- »

« Have at you! »

Virgil turned around to see his friend with his arm extended and his sword drawn, the pointy end right under their probable adversary's chin.

They didn't look … confident. Rather, they looked absolutely terrified, maybe even panicked: they held their hands up, their body slightly drawn backwards, eyes fixed on the blade and teeth bared. There was especially a sort of aura surrounding them, glowing in the same yellow pigmentation he had seen on their eye previously.

He only offered an intimidating expression as Roman did the rest.

« State your presence. Why were you following us? »

The person sighed and shook their head. « You have my entire purpose horribly mistaken- »

« Cut to the chase. » Virgil ordered.

They shifted their look onto him, as if they had just noticed him. « Alright then, if that's what you want. » they took some steps back and opened their arms, locking eyes with the other boy.

« It's an utmost delight to finally meet you as well, Roman Kallis. They call me Janus, I am the Hamingja that has been assigned to your generation years before your birth. You have reached the proper age for me to manifest to you and accompany you through your journey. » Janus bowed theatrically and rose only to be met with Roman's aghast expression and Virgil's … well, one thing for sure, the guy didn't trust people that easily.

« I had heard about you. » Roman recalled. « My relatives used to tell a surprising amount of tales of their quests and they would always mention you. »

« That doesn't mean we can immediately trust this … » Virgil hesitated.

« Oh, I'm an angelic being. »

« … That doesn't mean we can trust this angel. » he finished, glaring at the guardian as they smirked.

Roman pushed his friend's arm slightly. « Oh shush. So! » he approached Janus with stars in his eyes. « Are you about to take me towards important victories? Lead me to some conquerings? »

They blinked and took one step back as the boy started to invade their personal space. « More like accompany you. I normally manifest in your dreams, but I can show up here as well now. Just remember: the Norns take the final choice. »

Roman nodded seriously, while his friend wasn't yet entirely convinced.

« How are we sure you're who you say you are? »

« Virgil- »

A bright light started glowing around the angel as they levitated a few inches off of the ground. As they opened, their eyes shined a similar light.

You know anyone else that can do this?

The words echoed in his head while Janus's expression didn't change, his face still and blank.

They fell back on the ground after a few seconds.

« Are you in need of any more demonstrations? »

Virgil averted their eyes and turned around, silently resuming their journey as Roman sighed and apologized on his behalf.

That was going to be fun.

✾

Roman fell to his knees as the umpteenth village fell victim to an enemy's raid.

Flames rose from every possible surface, burning both everything to its roots and Roman's eyes; he turned, his expression dull, then he nodded at the glimmering wolf by his side.

« Let's carry on. » he murmured, trying to get back on track while having constant flashbacks of the fight he'd just lost, not caring of any wound, although minor.

Janus shifted back to his anthropomorphic form, about to disappear from the human eye, when a hand grabbed their wrist and they were forced to slow down and stay out of Roman's hearing.

« Doesn't Hamingja mean happiness? » Virgil looked right ahead of himself. « Because I'm not seeing any kind of happiness ever since you came here. »

« Please keep in mind that I do not choose the course of events, I only make sure that Roman's luck functions the way it should. »

He exhaled deeply through his nose; they mentioned luck plenty of times, but he sure as hell didn't see any fortunate events happening.

« Why isn't it functioning then? »

Janus looked over to the boy. « He looks alive to me. »

Virgil stopped dead in his tracks and stared at them. « You can't be serious. »

« I work with what I have. » Janus's eyes furrowed. « I'll have you know I do not find it pleasing to have my ways questioned. » with that, they were gone, leaving Virgil fuming with rage and yet repressing it for the sake of his friend.

He did not like them. Or their ways.

Something was wrong.

✾

It was getting ridiculous.

Roman had never been the luckiest man alive, but once he had been made aware of his conditions, he had started to become more careful about his every decision, and thus his every consequence.

So he noticed all his failures ten times more than usual.

What was the purpose of a guardian if there was no way to protect him? Was he overthinking it?

Or … had he expected way too much out of Janus?

He put his face in his arms which were resting on the wooden table of his parents' kitchen. He had come back for a scheming meeting between other relatives, but he couldn't keep his mind off of the numerous defeats he had been bearing for a while.

« There needs to be a way out of it. » Virgil stepped away from the kitchen's door and turned back to Janus who was standing in front of the fireplace, nourishing the fire with a spell. « Some sort of magic? An enchantment? »

The hamingja pondered the question.

A way to deviate the Norns themselves …

« It is highly risky. » they admitted, stepping closer to the other. « But not impossible. »

« How risky? »

« Deadly. » they looked into his eyes and detected both fright and curiosity. « It's technically quick and painless- »

« I'll do it. » Janus raised an eyebrow at him. « Whatever it is, I'll do it. »

Such determination for a mere friend.

They raised a hand towards his chest and pressed against it, Virgil felt like they were trying to take something from him like they could take his soul out of thin air.

Was he about to die? The famous life for a life deal?

Then, like nothing happened, Janus stepped away.

True, he felt slightly more tired, but nowhere near the deadly zone.

Seeing his appalled look, Janus provided an explanation.

« The only way to change someone's life is to make room for more time. What I did was take away a portion of time from your life for me to modify and add onto Roman's. »

« How much did you remove? »

« One month so far. »

« Make it a year. »

Virgil's look in his eyes didn't relinquish a slight bit of doubt. He stared and waited expectantly, ready to assist his friend with his own life more than needed.

Impressive.

« If that is what you wish. »

And so on.

Times upon times, their little unspoken secret grew behind Roman's back as events needed to be changed.

As time itself ran out, they kept adding a new amount, until little to none remained and the cycle repeated again.

If Virgil was willing to give his life for someone who saved his own, Janus was more than okay to satisfy both ends and make their protege as secure as possible.

Not that he knew any of that.

✾

« May I ask you something? »

Another victorious battle had them exhausted and resting in the safest place they found in the woods: Roman's hamingja had offered to keep an eye out as they slept.

Virgil nodded to them as they got further away from the royal.

« Why do you give your life away so easily? » Janus studied him with deep interest as it was the only thing he didn't understand about him.

Only a couple of months had passed since their appearance, yet that guy still filled a big question mark in their mind.

« Well, I wouldn't have one if it weren't for him. » Virgil leaned back against a tree as the memories surfaced. « He just so happened to be around when my village caught fire during a raid and he saved my entire family. »

« This happened some years ago, I remember I told him I would've done anything since I owed him and he simply took out his sword and named me his fellow knight. »

Ever since then, they would have gone on journeys together, becoming the inseparable battling duo they were to that day, despite the many lost fights and the very little body count.

« So yeah, all those years you took off of my life to help him, I do owe him those, thus I don't mind dying prematurely. »

« Those what? »

The two turned around abruptly and found the subject of their conversation right behind them, one thing only to be read on his face: dolence.

Roman scoffed. « I should've realized. Everything was going just too good. » he looked down and murmured. « Too good to be true. »

« Ro- »

« I can't believe both of you kept it from me. » he brushed his face with his hands as the others stayed silent. « You know what? If you really like to do things by yourselves, then so be it. »

He picked up his gear from the ground as Virgil approached him and reached out to him. « Roman, please. »

He turned around and backed away. « Don't you value your life?! Have you ever thought about how I'd feel about this? Can't I get a say in what happens to me? »

Virgil withdrew as well, too ashamed to add anything else.

« This isn't how I wanted to be guarded. » he added, he then stepped closer to Janus. « I hereby pass you up onto Virgil from now on. »

« Excuse me? »

« That's a thing that can be done, right? Like that time my uncle passed it onto my mum. »

Janus stammered in their thoughts. « Y-yes it can be done. »

Roman nodded before whispering a “then do it” and turning his back on both of them.

« I don't want you anymore. »

Without sparing them a last single glance, he ventured back into the opposite direction and disappeared like they had never met before.

Janus and Virgil shared a look, their entire purpose broken into little shards of failure.

« Just, » the latter pinched the bridge of his nose. « Do your thing. Vanish into thin air, whatever it is. I don't want to deal with you right now. »

Janus simply glared at him and started ascending, their eyes glowing a yellow light.

« Don't act like it's entirely my fault. » they said and then, in a second, they were gone.

And Virgil had never felt more alone.

✾

He came to realize he was actually glad about loneliness.

Nothingness was the perfect place to hide from the significance of anything around you, the importance of whatever grieved your shoulders.

It blended into the quiet gratitude of acknowledging you can rest after a week-long journey in the loudest place on earth.

There was a single downside to that kind of attitude: averting.

Sure, the night sky told you all you needed was sleep and your issues would vanish in a tomorrow thought.

And so the cycle repeated until you ignored parts of yourself.

Virgil had been lost in the empty reality for as long as he’d started travelling alone. He knew it was getting unbearable for his stress, so much that it plagued his surroundings and his dreams as well.

It was during one of these that Janus decided to show up and set things right for once.

Not that it went exactly how he imagined it.

He had been able to trap Virgil inside a repetitive path of the all so familiar woods and, as he tried to wake up, he noticed he couldn’t. That’s when the snake that had been following him all that time shape-shifted into the hamingja.

« Are we going to talk about it anytime soon, or do I have to lurk in the shadows? »

It was already too much.

All Virgil could see was the pained expression on Roman’s face every time he looked at Janus, he was reminded of all his errors.

He couldn’t stand it. He hated it. He hated them.

Probably even himself.

« It would be far better if you just left. »

« Left? » Janus took a step forward, their eyes squinting. « You think I can simply disappear out of your life? »

« You seem to have been doing that pretty easily lately. »

« I have only tried to lessen your pain, » they followed as Virgil walked past them, into the unknown of that dream’s reality. « Yet you don’t let yourself be healed and keep bearing a grudge. »

Virgil halted and scoffed. « Bearing grudges? » he said « To me it’s always looked like, ever since you stated your presence, everything has been going horribly. Would you blame me for a grudge? »

As he turned away, he didn’t notice Janus not following or clenching their fists.

They just wanted to do something good for once. Why did that always happen?

« If you so much wish and intend on hating me, » the scenery changed, the two were now by the edge of a cliff. They reached Virgil and grabbed a handful of his clothes. « Then do it silently. » Janus pushed him off and the last thing Virgil saw of the dream was the hamingja staring down at him.

He woke up with a yelp and had the same scene in front of his eyes, only that it wasn’t a dream anymore, there, in the woods.

« Because, much to your chagrin, I’ll always be with you. »

Janus turned, walking away from his interlocutor.

Sure, run off like you always do.

Virgil heaved himself up with his elbows. « Like I ever even needed you. » He picked up his bag and let the sword rest at his side. « You came here, watched my friend be miserable, » he abruptly cut some bushes standing in his way. « Fucked up my life. » Another clean cut on plants around him. « But I should stay quiet. » He raised his voice. « I don’t need you! »

Virgil started marching toward an unknown destination, just like in the dream.

« I don’t need anyone. »

✾

It had been a fairly uneventful week.

Virgil woke up, provided himself food, and carried on with his journey home, where he hoped he could’ve started anew, back to his family.

The truth was, he had no idea where he was going, he could’ve been walking in circles and he wouldn’t have known at all. He wanted to seek shelter in the nearest village, yet in a week there had only been the infinite forest.

Virgil kept walking, marking his surroundings so he could recognize them, were he to cross paths with them again.

There was a small clearing, where he felt drawn to the light of the day, it was almost a perfect circle on the ground drawn by the sun, a perfect place to lay down during that rather cold day.

Why not? It was so inviting.

There were mushrooms all around. Kind of like it had been there for some kind of purpose.

Virgil tilted his head to the sound of chirping birds. He was in the middle of taking a step forward when he felt a hand yanking him backwards from his cloak.

As he fell down, the image of Janus’s eyes piercing through him was displayed before him yet again.

Are you serious?

« What is your deal?! »

« Get up. » He looked as they had the audacity to simply walk away without another word.

Virgil was already fuming. « Would you mind providing an explanation to your sudden visit? » He asked, clearly annoyed, after catching up with them.

Janus stopped and turned with a smug look. « You said you don’t need me. You were about to get killed. »

« Killed? »

« That you were about to step into was a fae circle. Once in, you’re doomed. Never dare to do so. »

What a stupid move, how could he not remember? He had always been extra vigilant about this sort of thing.

Janus saved him?

« Don’t think too much of it. » It was as if they had read his mind. « I’m looking out for you to fulfill what Roman asked me to do. »

This time, the hamingja had decided to stay.

Their journey together had been silent. Way too silent not to seem impossibly awkward at first.

Virgil couldn't just stop replaying what had happened in his head, how Janus had been right there to stop him from certain death, how they had probably been watching him the whole time.

If that had been the case, why didn't they point him towards a useful direction?

Hours passed and they were already leaving the sunset behind themselves, not stopping until they had found the perfect spot to rest for the night; weren't it for humans' weakness, Janus would've travelled for the entirety of the night.

Virgil was still wondering why they hadn't left him to die yet. They could've gone back to Roman, after pretending his death had been wanted by destiny.

« Why are you so keen on guiding me if you detest me as well? » he was sitting against a tree, like any other time he stopped for the night.

« You really don't get it, do you? » Janus sat down in front of him. « I have to follow what the Norns have in store for you. If they did not intend on you dying so soon, I have to protect you. I'm bound. Or else, I'll go against them. »

« What happens if you do? »

Janus had their eyes fixed on the ground, frowning like an unpleasant memory had resurfaced in their mind.

« I get thrown in the Ginnungagap for daring. »

So they were stuck together, huh?

« Don't worry, I'll pass you up onto someone else as soon as I find a village an- »

« You want to get rid of me so badly, don't you? » Janus shook their head, exasperated. During his time alone, Virgil hadn't changed an ounce.

The boy tried to reply, rephrase at best, thinking those were Janus's actual feelings, but he was cut off rather quickly. « You want me out? I'll leave you out. »

Virgil caught himself asking them to wait, not exactly sure as to why he was.

Just as they left, the fire they had made had been put out, any light flicker ceased. Everything that felt nice left him in the complete void, alone and miserable.

« Okay. » Virgil quietly got to his feet trying to adjust his vision to the dark he so much hated. « Okay, I'm sorry. » he rapidly looked behind his shoulders as he heard the creaking of leaves way too close.

Fright and anxiety pervaded him: he disliked the dark, he hated it. Void was part of the quiet and peaceful nothingness, but it was no refuge for him, rather one of monsters that his mind created. He wanted out.

A glimmering of hopefulness.

« Janus? » he called, eyes darting in every direction. « It's not funny, please. » he retreated back to the tree trunk, arms folder close to his chest forming some sort of shield.

And so hope came.

He was lifted off his feet, suddenly mid air and watching down as an unidentified creature jumped out of the bushes in an attempt to catch a new prey.

When he looked up, still wide-eyed, he was met with the hamingja's face again, who was holding him close and away from certain death. Again.

« The truth is, Virgil, » it was only then that he noticed how his glowing spirited eyes actually sparkled up close. « You're going to get yourself killed if you stay out here alone. »

Virgil pondered their words for a short minute as they descended and he was finally put down. « What if you told me of all the possible dangers then? I won't bother you. »

How stubborn could one be?

Janus put their hands on their face. « Stop making this only about you. I'm here and we need to work together. »

That … actually was a good point.

« I just … don't want to be perceived as an inconvenience. » they confessed; Virgil had no idea where that opening up to him came from, but he decided to accept it nonetheless.

« I guess I'm going to make an effort. »

They nodded, prompting that the conversation was over so he could go back to sleep.

« It's not that I hate you. » Virgil murmured, his eyes already closed. « I only didn't want to forcibly take away something from Roman along with our friendship. »

Janus stared at him only to go back to stand guard a few feet away.

« Sleep. » they repeated, voice softer. « You're going home tomorrow. »

✾

« Could you stop walking so fast? »

« When you stop being too slow to catch up. »

« Excuse you I am not the eldritch being that learnt the paths by heart. »

Janus stopped walking at once, making their journey companion crash onto them, trip and fall backwards.

Virgil held his face which had hit the other's back. « What the Hel was that for? »

Janus chuckled and kept walking. « Stop complaining. »

I'm going to murder them.

Very regretfully, Virgil got back to his feet and made the other roll their eyes at his heavy mad stomping on the grass.

They could see an opening not too far away from them. Just a few more meters and …

A vast grey-ish blackness stood before them, any solid shape remaining from the boy's village was crumbling down to ashes, white and black and grey again, flying around and falling at Virgil's feet, almost accusatory.

Why weren't you here?

His legs felt heavy as lead, dragging themselves forward in hopes to find what he had lost without return. He was standing in the middle of the burnt down village, of what was left of his only home, the place he knew he belonged, the family he left without protection.

Janus waited, not wanting to interfere with his emotions but still feeling a sharp heart-clench with every move Virgil made in the middle of that decaying necrosis.

They strongly intook breath as Virgil sat down facing them, their eyes locked only that his were dull.

« I'm home. » he said on the brink of tears, aware that his voice was about to get crushed by the weight of his silent crying.

He hid his face between his arms, slightly shaking. Why did he not prevent that? Why wasn't he noticed? He had just been wandering around with his nonsensical issues while his family had been defending their village from an attack, probably dying by it.

He didn't want to think about the worst scenario yet.

As Virgil sorted out how to cope with the sky falling on top of his head, Janus went to do a quick scan of the area: no bones, no charred corpses, a good omen of everyone fleeing before it was too late.

They slowly approached Virgil, making their presence clear before sitting down by him. They rose their arm, their hand almost touching his shoulder, then decided against it.

The real issue was finding the right words. Even when so many disgraces had happened already throughout Janus's experience as a hamingja, it was always hard to console their protege at best.

« They're alive. » they announced, unsure of what else to properly add. « I … I could take you to the nearest village to figure this out. »

That took a reaction out of Virgil, who lifted his head enough to look at them, still hurt.

« Whenever you're ready. » they reassured, letting silence fall between them.

« Just give me a minute. » Virgil murmured.

Janus nodded, expecting him to sit there, simply waiting.

Instead, Virgil leaned on them, a silent ask for support, and they couldn't help but give it, slowly raising and arm to encircle him in a half-hug.

« Give me a minute … »

✾

With the second week of travelling coming to a conclusion, Virgil's doubts started to rise.

« Are you sure this is the nearest village? »

On his side, Janus brought their hands together, in theatrical dismay. « Oh, Norns, I'm busted. My secret evil plan has been uncovered! »

He could kind of see why he had been paired with Roman's dynasty.

« Janus. Where are you taking me? »

They sighed in annoyance. « Can't stand surprises? »

« Not after the last one. »

And there it was, the grim aura laid back on their heads.

« We're going to an elven town I know. I deviated our actual course a little. » there was a beat of silence. « I know they're very friendly with strangers there and we could also take a small break and rest. After everything that happened. »

Virgil didn't have any complaint to make against that.

« Then, by all means, lead the way. »

Not even five minutes had passed, that Janus increased their pacing and started dragging Virgil by the arm, pointing towards an arch out of the woods.

« Look! »

The banner read “Faarion” and the town looked on with nature, while still being nicely urbanized.

A swarm of little elf kids immediately greeted them. « Mx. Janus! You brought a new human? » their attention was averted to Virgil, all curious wide eyes and expectant faces.

« Uh- »

« Yes, we're possibly going to stay a few days. Now, care to show him around while I go announce ourselves to Aerith? »

They unanimously nodded and brought Virgil along with them, introducing themselves as they took him places.

Virgil looked back at him with a single murderous glance that said “I'll get back at you”, while the hamingja smirked and waved goodbye.

It didn't take long to find the town hall.

« Glad to have you back, Janus. » a smiling long-haired elf had been checking out documents at her office table. « Taking your hero here already? »

They had been remembered for how they would bring their hero to the elven town when they knew the soul was about to head to either Hel or Valhalla.

« Lovely to see you Aerith. » they unceremoniously dropped on the opposite seat. « It's actually kind of complicated this time. »

She raised her head from the documents and looked in their yellow eyes with desire to know more. « An intriguing tale. Do tell, dear. »

Janus tried their best to summarize the last few months: they mentioned Roman, the mess they made along with Virgil, how Roman passed them onto him and left without any way to trace him back again.

And then the whole contrast with Virgil, how they couldn't get through to him.

« We got to his old village, but all we found were ashen ruins and burnt down houses. That's why I decided to take him here. »

« A wise choice, indeed. » she agreed, solemnly. « Although I must say, it doesn't sound like he dislikes you anymore, does it? » Janus tilted their head. « To me, it's more of a fear of losing you as well, thus he pushed you away before he could develop something. I'd say he found himself too late. »

They didn't quite comprehended what she meant by developing anything, but they had noticed Virgil had been less hostile, if not in a teasing way, during the past few weeks.

« I suppose so. » they muttered as their thoughts drifted away. « I only … I wish to not make a mess, now that I have the opportunity to do something good. »

« You mean … »

« Yes. » they cut her off. « He's my first hope so far in millennia and I want to take the chance. »

Aerith gifted them a fond smile. « Have you told him? »

« Not yet. » they shook their head. « But I plan to, here. »

She remembered there was a place reserved to them, they used to take their souls there and explain the tragic destiny they were bound to and its reason why.

All in all, it was always Janus's fault.

Aerith gave them a small group of keys. « Go then, dear. Get settled for the night. »

✾

It was nearly completely dark outside when Janus got back to the town centre, only to find it fully decorated for the Rising Moon Festival they had forgot about.

« Mx. Janus! » one of that morning's kids took them by the hand and pulled them on the dance floor, simply swirly around.

« Hey Andiron. » they greeted. « Have you done your duty? »

« Yes! Virgil is a great listener! »

« Say, where is he? »

Andiron pointed to a spot in the back of the main plaza, where Virgil was hanging around by himself as everybody else had their celebration.

He did notice Janus reaching him.

« You survived. »

« I didn't know you lived here. »

They shrugged: it was typical of the kids to take everyone to the outside of their home. « Do you want me to show you around? We'll be staying here for a while. »

Janus sensed Virgil's discomfort with big crowds of people he didn't know; the boy acquiesced and together they keft the plaza and approached Janus's former habitation.

« Welcome to my humble refuge. » Janus bowed dramatically, which got a snort out of the human.

« You call this humble? I don't know why you would leave this. »

« Well, my parents used to live here, really. I'd be travelling around just like you. » they stepped toward the stairs.

« They … don't live here anymore? » Virgil tried, unsure of where eh was stepping with the conversation.

« They don't exactly live anymore. » they said, reaching the second floor and looking back at his companion. « It's not that bad, they're in Valhalla now. I could visit them if I wanted. »

He noticed the odd phrasing. « Do you want to? »

Janus breathed slowly, leading him to another room: it used to be their bedroom as a child, but what really enthused them was the terrace's view on the vast forest.

« I do. Kind of. But I know they'll ask me of my duties as guardian and … »

« You'd rather not? » Virgil followed them on the balcony and rested his arms on the railing.

Janus nodded. « This is why I should apologize. »

« To them? »

« No. To you. »

Virgil blinked repeatedly before turning his head to the hamingja, his eyes narrowed in confusion. « I thought we kind of settled it. »

« I don't mean our initial contrast. » they averted his eyes, rather looking down at the street lights adorning the darkness of the town. « My name isn't really Janus. I have a hamingja title that covers up what type of guardian I am and what type of destiny my humans are usually tied to. »

« My title is Sørgesang. »

They waited for Virgil to get it, they could almost hear the gears turning in his head. « Sad song? »

« Funeral chant. » they sighed deeply. « The meaning was explained pretty early, after the first few heroes that died horribly with me leading them towards inevitable death. » their body stiffened. « I … I'm apologizing because I ruined Roman's life simply by being destined to his dynasty, I'm like a curse among other hamingjas. We're usually protectors of good luck. I … don't know what went wrong with me. » they were gripping tight at the railing.

Virgil felt the urge to take their hands away, but decided against it a moment later. Maybe it's too anti-climatic?

« Didn't you tell me back then it's the Norns' work you're following? »

« Yes, but by assigning me to a family, my luck will affect the destiny they'll have once alive. » Janus started fidgeting, believing that, now that he knew he would keep trying to pass them onto someone else the quickest he could.

« So what you're trying to say is you're apologizing for your existence? »

That was the last thing they expected; they tried to retort something, but no argument felt good enough against his.

« Because that's what it sounds like. »

« I- Maybe I am, but what I really want to get to, is that I had never been lent or passed onto anyone else before. » they put their hands on his shoulders. « Virgil, you were never predestined to end up with me. This means my luck does not affect you and is not tied to your future. You're my only hope to prove I can lead someone to success. » they took his hands in theirs, trying to underline whatever they were getting at. « Just give me the opportunity. »

The moonlight illuminated the faint blush across Virgil's cheeks. « I … I will, okay. I'm sorry I misjudged you so easily at first. I hardly trust anyone. »

« That is a good quality. » Janus slowly let their hands fall at their side again, turning to look at the landscape.

I wouldn't trust myself either.

« Are those the woods we came from? » Virgil pointed towards the mass of trees that seemed to engulf the town.

They were about to respond, when instead Janus jumped off of the balcony and floated in the air in front of him, glowing like a firefly.

« Want to see for yourself? »

Virgil took the hand they offered, uncertain, and he got easily pulled up in the seemingly void. « Is this safe? » he asked, staring wide-eyed at the ground a huge amount of feet under them. « This is safe, right? » he gripped the other a bit tighter than needed.

Janus genuinely laughed as they flew to the roof of their home, placing them both on the gutters. The boy didn't stop hanging on their arm.

« If you look around yourself, you can see they're actually all around town. The one you're seeing now is the opposite direction from where we were going. »

« Mhm, definitely interesting. »

« Virgil, you're not going to die. »

« Says the one with flying powers. »

Janus got up and lifted the other by his arms. « You're not going to fall. »

« Yes I am. » Virgil blurted out, eyes darting between his only handhold and the garden they were above. Very much above.

« Don't look down. » Virgil was squeezing their hands like they could drop him any second. He obliged and was met with a soft smile. « There. You've got nothing to fear. »

Rather than dwelling on his concerns, Virgil was now lost in their expression and words, like he had been living in the dark and a new door had been opened up to him.

He took a deep breath and everything was lighter.

Perhaps because he had left all of his burdens on that roof for a while, or maybe because Janus had lifted them in the air again and they were holding him close, so they were sure he wouldn't fall.

It wasn't that exasperated move they did back in the woods, but more of a caring one, like they were carrying the most precious thing in the world to them.

He did feel like he was, to them, their tenderness made him believe it with one quick glance.

Before he knew it, his feet touched the grass, but one of his hands didn't leave the hamingja's as they walked.

« Let's get back to the festival. »

✾

Virgil came to realize elf kids were actually the epitome of smartness, the type of cunning intelligent perfect to architect schemes.

On the other hand, Janus had already understood their intention, yet they let them do their thing, knowing it all came in their favour eventually.

A couple of kids had taken both of them to dance until the two inevitably ended up moving around the plaza together.

« What's on your mind? » Janus noticed how Virgil had been unusually quiet by the moment they clasped their hands together and started swirling around; not once their eyes had met as Virgil preferred to look down at his feet.

He muttered a simple “don't know”.

Janus leaned over him, whispering right in his ear. « Don't look down. »

Virgil tried to bite away his own smile, failing horribly: how could he not in such a situation?

Their foreheads met and he breathed in. « I was wondering … is this okay? » he tightened the grip on their hands as they kept dancing. « Is this alright? »

Could we be together?

They pulled him as close as their dancing let them, careful not to bother the others present. « Do me a favour, Virgil, close your eyes. »

As soon as he obliged, he felt a hand on his cheek, while the world seemed to slow down. He wasn't paying attention to where he was stepping anymore.

Virgil instinctively leaned onto the touch, letting the other lead him until he felt soft lips against his, stealing a short kiss he wished to melt into.

« Do you feel like it is alright? »

When he opened his eyes again and saw Janus's longing gaze, he was sure of one thing.

« More than ever. »

✾

And it was going to be alright.

Months from then, they would've reconciled with Roman, who had now joined the crown's many expeditions and accepted his eventual terrible end, ready to face it after living everyday like it was the last.

At last, Aerith convinced them to stay and got their own little life in Faarion, where Virgil took up magic thanks to the alf seidr and Janus lending him some years of their immortal life.

And so they became the legend of the everlasting couple; some say, if you know where to look, you could still find them dancing in the dark of the night, singing to the stars and thanking the moon for bringing them together.

Everything was far more than alright.

#anxceit #janus sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #platonic prinxiety #sanders sides #fanfiction #ts fic

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luna-is-a-main-now · 4 years

Text

Your Words and Feelings, Chapter One

When his alarm went off, Virgil flinched in surprise as his eyes snapped quickly to the time displayed at the top corner of his phone. Had he really stayed up all night again? Apparently, yes, he had, and he was sure to get called out about it later. With a heavy, exhausted sigh, he made the alarm shut up and reluctantly rolled out of bed to start getting ready for the day. After doing his regular morning routine, he grabbed some food and finally looked down at his hand to check for the writing he knew would be there.

In red ink and fancy handwriting in the middle of the back of Virgil's hand was a small line of text reading: Good morning, my loves, I hope you all have a lovely day!

Below it, Virgil watched as sky blue ink in a curly, bubbly font quickly appeared in response, showing a drawing of a smiley face with a text bubble that cheerily proclaimed "You too! Thank you, Red!"

Virgil grinned as he pulled out his purple pen and scrawled back a small, quick note above the red. "Thanks Princey, right back at ya." With a sigh, he grabbed his stuff and set off for school, not even bothering to see if the owner of the occasional dark blue ink would reply. He rarely did, but Virgil got the impression that he appreciated seeing the notes from his soulmates nonetheless. At least, Virgil hoped he wasn't bothering him or the others with his little notes.

Entering his first class, Virgil sighed heavily as he dropped his bag heavily to the floor by his desk, then proceeded to drop himself heavily into his chair, both resulting in loud thumps. One more small thump sounded as Virgil laid down heavily over his desk, hiding his head in his arms and appreciating the soft warmth his hoodie’s sleeves provided.

He ignored the teacher as class started, figuring that because it was the Friday before a three day weekend, they wouldn’t expect them to do anything too important anyway. Not that he really cared right now even if it were important. He honestly would not have budged the whole time he had been in class if it hadn't been for the hesitant taps he felt on his arm. He snapped his gaze up with a glare, expecting it to be the teacher, but his eyes immediately softened when he saw that it was just the kid who sat next to him, looking hesitant as he fiddled with and adjusted his glasses numerous times.

“Hey… do you by any chance have a pen I can borrow? I must have dropped mine on the way to school.” Virgil sighed softly, but he looked so hopeful and desperate that Virgil couldn’t bring himself to say no. So he handed over the first pen he found, only realizing too late that it was his purple pen, the one he only used when communicating with his soulmates. The person who Virgil had given the pen to thanked him profusely and quickly started taking the notes before Virgil could do anything about his mistake though, and now he felt far too anxious to ask for it back before he was done using it, despite the pen belonging to him. He just hoped he would get it back, but for now, Virgil just put his head down again. He was too tired to deal with things at the moment.

The sound of the bell dismissing first period startled Virgil out of his half asleep state, causing him to slam his knee into the metal leg of his desk suddenly, and do so with enough force that it made Virgil’s stomach hurt. He hissed in pain at the same time the person next to him did, as they both reached for their knee. Surprise and dim recognition lit up in Virgil’s eyes as he rubbed at his knee, but the boy next to him hadn’t even realized what had happened, and was too preoccupied checking over his own knee to notice Virgil.

“Show me your hands,” Virgil requested, his voice still a bit gruff from exhaustion and pain. The person in question looked up at Virgil and nervously picked at the cardigan draped over his shoulders. Slowly, hesitantly, he reached his hands out to Virgil while looking at him curiously and very confused. Grabbing the one he knew it would be, should Virgil be right, he bit his lip and looked at it closely. Not that he needed to look to close before catching the fancy red script followed by sky blue and purple ink, and a small dark blue check mark. Checking his own hand, Virgil realized he must have missed it while he was asleep, but he had the dark blue check mark on his hand as well. Giving the boy in front of him a tired smile, Virgil held his hand out as well, watching as his new-found soulmate’s face went from puzzled to elated in seconds when he realized.

“Oh this is wonderful! I’m Patton!” He enthusiastically introduced himself as he seemed to literally vibrate with happy energy. Before Virgil knew it, Patton had flung his arms around Virgil’s neck and pulled him in for a hug. “I’m the sky blue ink! I’m assuming you’re purple?” He giggled softly as he stepped back to hand Virgil his purple pen back. Virgil could only nod numbly, being too tired to really keep up with Patton’s quick speech and excitable energy.

“Uh, I’m Virgil.” Virgil smiled at the slightly shorter boy, then pulled his phone out from his jacket pocket. Unlocking it, he quickly navigated to the phone keypad and handed it to Patton. “Give me your number? That way we can talk over the weekend?” Virgil offered awkwardly. He needn’t have been worried though. Patton beamed brightly at his suggestion and eagerly grabbed the phone from Virgil’s hands. Virgil had never seen someone type so quickly in his life.

“Ooh! I have C lunch! What do you have? If you’re up for it, we can meet up and talk then!” Patton bounced up and down excitedly. He beamed at Virgil as he handed him his phone back.

“I have C lunch too, and yeah I’m down for meeting up and talking then. I need to get going now though or I’ll be late for my next class… but I’ll see you later?” He smiled softly at Patton, and he nodded vigorously, before quickly grabbing his stuff and basically skipping out of the room with a cheery goodbye.

Virgil blinked, half believing he had imagined it all through his sleep deprived state, but glancing down at his phone, Patton’s contact was still there. Virgil smiled when he noticed he had added a sky blue heart emoji after his name. Virgil decided to keep it that way forever, and he really hoped that soon, he’d have two other names in his phone set up in similar style.

-----------------------------

Roman felt completely and utterly drained and fully exhausted, right down to his very soul. One or more of his soulmates must have pulled yet another all-nighter, and he had a pretty good idea of who it was. It was becoming much too common a habit these days, and Roman was getting sick of it, even though he knew that if it was the person he thought, he couldn’t control it any more than Roman could.

However, on the same token, normally Roman was a morning person. Before, people had even said that he practically glowed in the morning; they would always say that Roman was so bright and full of energy and that it made them happy to see someone so excited about every day, no matter how weird that mindset was as a freshman in college. Roman didn’t care that it was weird, he loved being full of energy and starting the day off in a positive mood. After all, the whole world’s a stage, as the saying goes, and Roman needed energy to perform his very best on that stage.

However, with the extreme lack of sleep running in the background of his brain all the time, all he got now was concerned comment after concerned comment. Roman was touched that his peers and teachers cared about his well being and that they actually checked in when his normally chipper mood was drastically different, but he swore he was going to scream if one more person asked him if he was alright when he was so clearly not. Despite Roman’s strict sleeping schedule and him getting more than the typically recommended eight hours, he still felt exhausted straight down his very bones. It was annoying. It also didn’t help that his knee hurt, also a result of one of his soulmates.

Sometimes the shared feelings bond between soulmates was such a hassle. Sure, he enjoyed feeling when his soulmates were excited and happy about things, as it made him feel all warm inside, happy that they were happy. However, he hated when he could feel when they were sad, depressed, hurt, angry, in pain, tired, etc and had no way to be there for them and help. All he could do now was write messages to them in red ink, and not even the messages that truly mattered such as his name, his number, or his location in order to meet them faster, due to whatever strange magic governed the soul bond between soulmates.

Grudgingly, Roman pulled out his fancy red pen, the pen he used only to write to his soulmates, because they were special and deserved a special pen. Wiping away their standard morning greetings with the help of a one-use rubbing alcohol pad, Roman began to write in his fancy, flowing script. He couldn't help but notice that it was actually much sloppier than it normally was. He couldn’t really bring himself to care all that much either though. He blamed his exhaustion and frustration for both.

Okay, which one of you pulled another all nighter? This is three in a row and it’s getting a bit ridiculous. Also, who hurt themselves? My knee has been aching all morning! You all must be more careful; injuries especially when exhausted have more effect, you know.

The scrawling purple text was slow to appear. It was as if the writer was hesitant. Roman felt bad that he had been so demanding; he never wanted his loves to be hesitant around him.

Sorry Princey. Those were both me. Insomnia is hitting me hard this week; I’ll try harder to sleep tonight. As for the knee… I got startled and rammed it into the metal leg of my desk. Not the best start to my morning, honestly.

Roman winced in sympathy. That all sounded horribly unpleasant. Roman wished he knew the owner of the purple ink. He wondered if he could help with the sleep issue in any way. He understood that insomnia couldn’t be controlled, but he wondered if maybe he could be able to help at least by singing or cuddling him till he was lulled to sleep. He wished to meet his soulmates soon; he was a hopeless romantic and thrived off of giving and receiving affection, love, and care with those he loved dearly. Despite never meeting his soulmates, Roman already knew he loved them to the very bottom of his heart. He only wished he could show them just how much in person.

Then, strangely, a small note began to appear on Roman’s wrist. However, this note wasn’t in purple, sky blue, or dark blue, the only colors his soulmates used. It was in a thick, dark black ink, like that of a sharpie marker.

Note to self: replace lost pen. Also, cookies? Or brownies?

The last part gave away who had written that easily enough and Roman chuckled. It was sky blue, or as they had nicknamed him, Padre. He was always making lists and reminders on his skin, and a lot of them pertained to sweets most of the time. Roman couldn’t wait to try the baked goods his soulmate must be quite good at making by now.

Okay, don’t worry about it Stormcloud. Roman wrote to purple, smiling as he used their occasional nickname for him. Take it easy today though, alright? Maybe ice that knee when you can. Also, Padre, did you really lose your pen?

Roman couldn’t help but smirk as he wrote back, addressing sky blue. He really did hope purple got some rest soon though, his insomnia was getting much worse lately and it was concerning. However, he was thoroughly amused at sky blue’s forgetfulness. He found it endlessly endearing and adorable, even though he had never seen it in person. This time, when Padre wrote back, it was in standard black ink pen, which Roman figured he must have just found in order to abandon the sharpie.

Yeah, I must have dropped it on the way to school or something! No biggie though; at least it was something easy to replace, even though I did love that pen in particular!

Roman smiled at that, too. He loved everything about his soulmates, even the one who used dark blue ink and didn’t interact as much as the other two. He had explained before that he didn’t really like writing on his skin directly, but that he didn’t mind seeing his soulmates converse. In fact, he had admitted it was enjoyable to see them talk, even if he wasn’t a part of it all that often.

Oh! Princey, Padre and I met this morning in class. Maybe now that one of us has met the other, that means we’ll all see each other soon? I hope so, at least. What about you?

The purple ink’s words made Roman’s heart stop for a second. Stormcloud and Padre had met? Oh, Roman was jealous, 100%, but he was also beyond excited.

Oh, I do hope so too! I can’t wait until I meet you all! Then I can spoil you all properly with plenty of love and affection!

Roman sighed happily as he began daydreaming about meeting his soulmates again for the thousandth time. He wanted to know all about them. He loved them with all his heart; they were all bound to be wonderful people and Roman had always felt so incredibly lucky that he seemed to have three wonderfully unique soulmates that he was destined to be with one day. It made his romantic heart melt and ache all at once everytime he thought about it. Checking his hand and the ink that had travelled up and down his arm as space ran out, he realized that Stormcloud had only responded with a checkmark, due to there being no open spaces left to respond. Roman quickly added his check mark, and so did dark blue and Padre. On cue, the ink started to disappear as one or more of them began wiping away the writing, save for Padre’s sharpie note.

The four of them had come up with that system long ago; if multiple parties were conversing and space ran out, they would all have to indicate whether or not it could be erased. Without 100% agreement, the writing would stay in order to prevent each other from getting rid of important things or things they hadn’t read yet. Dark blue, or Teach, as they often called them, had proposed that plan, and Roman had to admit that it worked perfectly for all of them.

After everything was wiped off, Roman smiled fondly at his arm, still stained with the colors of his soulmates. Occasionally, even wiping the ink off so soon after it was applied still left ghost marks of the words and colors behind. Roman loved that it occasionally looked like his arm was a faded tie-dye project. It was colorful and beautiful and served as a pleasant reminder of how lucky he was. Roman adored it.

Eventually, and with a small sigh of exhaustion, Roman decided to head off of his college campus, and toward a local coffee shop that had opened close by recently. He didn’t have any more classes today anyway, and a friend had told him that the coffee there tasted simply amazing, and that even other people who claimed to not be coffee people liked their stuff. Personally, Roman had never been overly fond of coffee, but he did appreciate the effects it had, especially in times such as these when he felt he might pass out at any second. He felt more and more tired as time passed, and he could only guess at how awful purple must be feeling since the exhaustion originated from him. However, Roman couldn’t help him yet, so he had to settle for trying to chase away the exhaustion that crept into his own system from the soul bond.

As he pushed open the door to the small little cafe, a small bell chimed pleasantly to announce his arrival. An employee greeted him politely with some sort of standard welcome, and Roman politely smiled and nodded at her in acknowledgement. He quickly walked up to the order counter and looked over the menu.

“Hi, what can I get for you?” The cashier asked cheerfully, smiling at him brightly. Roman smiled back at her tiredly.

“Ah, what do you suggest? I’m normally not much of a coffee guy, but a friend insisted I try coffee from here and that it would change my mind.” Roman chuckled softly. “It’s my first time here so I honestly don’t know what most of this,” he gestured slightly at the menu off to the side, “is. What’s good, is basically what I’m asking.” Roman laughed slightly, the notes laced thick with nerves and exhaustion. The cashier only smiled back at him again.

“Oh this happens all the time now! So many non-coffee drinkers have been coming in lately on advice from a friend; it’s kinda crazy actually!” She chuckled and threw her hands out in an ‘I dunno’ gesture. “People new to coffee typically like sweeter drinks as opposed to more bitter, so a frappuccino might be a good place for you to start! I personally say you can’t go wrong starting off with a standard vanilla or mocha frappuccino, depending on your tastes.” She offered helpfully, pointing to the mentioned items on the menu so Roman could look at the printed pictures of them more closely.

“Ooh, I do indeed like sweet things! Let’s go for the mocha thingy you said.” Roman chuckled as he forgot what it was called already. “Thank you for the help by the way.”

“Frappuccino, but most just call it a frappe or a frap.” She explained with a smile. “You’re welcome, and what size would you like?”

“Ah, probably a large if I’m to make it through the day. I’m exhausted; my soulmate pulled an all nighter.” Roman explained with a little laugh.

“Oh I know the feeling.” She chuckled. “That will be $2.34, would you like anything else?”

“That’s all, thank you. You’ve been a wonderful help.” Roman pulled his wallet out and gave her a five. “Keep the change as a tip, okay? I hope you have an absolutely wonderful day and night ahead!” Roman smiled at her brightly. She grinned at him brightly and nodded, waving at him as he walked to the end of the counter where they put out completed orders.

It didn't take very long for his drink to be called, and an employee handed the drink directly to Roman. Thanking him, Roman grabbed a straw and took a test sip of his drink. He hummed, pleasantly surprised at the taste. It was sweet, but not overpoweringly so, and the drink was smooth and perfectly blended, and the soft scent of coffee mixed with the whipped cream and chocolate drizzle on the top just made the drink seem all the more better to him.

On a whim, Roman checked his hand again, delighted to see more writing. This time it was in dark blue ink, meaning their seldom seen soulmate was reaching out. Roman couldn’t be happier about it.

Purple, please try to get sleep tonight. Your immune system must be severely compromised from the lack of sleep you are already experiencing. Sky, please also eat some healthy foods; not just baked goods, okay?

Roman smiled. This was how Teach showed his love, despite them all having heard the same advice over and over again. It seemed as though he valued how much his soulmates practiced self care and healthy choices, which Roman found touching.

Yeah, I got it Teach. Sleep is important, I know. Thank you for the reminder though.

Oh, I suppose I could pick up stuff to make food other than baked goods. However, I wanna show Stormcloud my famous chocolate chip cookies now that we’ve met! And I’ll do the same for all of you when it’s our turn to meet!

Roman practically squealed in delight as he pulled out his red pen to reply to that. However, he ended up bumping right into someone, and spilled both of their coffee’s. Roman winced, embarrassed at his careless mistake, but also managed to pull the person out of the way in time so that nothing spilled on him personally. He still felt bad about the lost coffee and the huge mess he had created in the middle of the cafe.

“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!” Roman cried. “I should have been paying more attention, are you alright?” He asked, as the other male adjusted his glasses with a disgruntled expression. Roman’s eyes caught on a flash of dark blue, light blue, and purple ink on his hand before it was hidden again, but he couldn’t help but notice the dark blue pens in his shirt pocket. Roman wanted it to be true, but he swallowed down his excitement for now.

“I am alright. Unfortunate to lose my coffee before I can assume any of its benefits, but no matter. Are you alright? I admit it was also partially my fault.” He frowned slightly, as if he didn’t quite like how that had been presented, but was almost too tired to care. Roman noted that he didn’t have dark circles under his own eyes, so the extreme exhaustion he was displaying was a result of the soul bond, not his own sleep schedule. That only gave Roman more hope, and he couldn’t help but smile at the man in front of him, who he was sure was his soulmate.

“Oh yes, I’m okay. And, please, no, that was my fault. I was too busy conversing with my soulmates.” Roman smirked as he held his hand up and out towards the other male, making it as easy to see as possible, and prompting him to look at his hand closely. “I’ll assume you were possibly doing the same?” He asked as he saw the other’s expression go from neutral to surprised, and he smiled softly, an expression that had Roman’s heart doing flips in his chest.

“Well it seems you are correct. It’s nice to meet you, I’m Logan. You may have already guessed but I’m dark blue.” He gestured at the pens in his pocket with a smile, and Roman easily returned it.

“I’m Red, or Princey, or whatever other nickname I’ve been given by now,” Roman chuckled softly, and held his hand out towards Logan for a handshake. “My name is Roman, though. It’s a pleasure to meet you too, my dear soulmate.” Roman smiled at him even wider when Logan shook his hand.

“Here,” Logan commented as he took out his pen and started writing on a napkin, handing it to Roman once he had finished. “It’s my number. So we don’t lose contact when we leave.” He smiled at Roman in an almost shy manner.

“Thank you, and that’s smart! For now though, why don’t you grab a table? I’ll clean up this mess and order us some new coffee so we can talk? That is, if you’re free of course.” Roman offered hopefully as he accepted the napkin with Logan’s number on it, putting it safely in his pocket. Logan bit his lip and seemed to think on that for a bit before slowly nodding.

“Yes, I can stay for a bit. I have a class at three, and it is only one thirty, so I can stay until about two? I know thirty minutes isn’t long, I apologize.” Logan explained slowly. Roman only smiled at him brightly.

“No need to apologize! This was honestly a very sudden meeting, so of course you may have other plans! Or well, a class, but same difference. We can plan something better for next time now that we’ll be in contact over text?” Roman offered as he started off to grab a stack of napkins, and also requested a mop or something from an employee.

“Yes, for sure.” Logan smiled at him gently. “I shall look forward to getting to know you better, Roman.” He stated, then waved as he went off to find a table for the two of them. Roman quickly got to trying to soak up the spilt coffee on the floor with the napkins, and was very grateful when someone brought out a mop for him, making the process go much faster. Once he had cleaned up the mess he accidentally made he went back up to the order counter.

“That was quite the situation.” The barista snickered at him good-naturedly. Roman couldn’t help but chuckle back as he scratched the back of his neck nervously. He had made quite the spectacle of himself, admittedly.

“Yeah, not the most elegant or graceful way to meet a soulmate, I admit, but at least I met him.” Roman smiled softly. “I couldn’t be more excited about it, quite honestly. I can’t wait to learn more about him.” Roman said in an almost dreamy tone of voice, allowing his inner hopeless romantic to shine through. He had been waiting for the day he would meet one or all of his soulmates for years, and finally it was here and Roman already thought Logan perfect.

“I’m so happy for you! You should thank the friend that told you to come here. After all, had you not, this never would have happened.” She commented with a gentle smile. “Anyways, I’m assuming you’re trying to replace the drinks? So another mocha frap for you and an iced coffee for him?” She questioned, getting back to business. Roman grinned at her.

“Yep! And yes, I will be sure to thank my friend, for sure.” Roman smiled brightly.

“3.84 is your total, will that be all?” She questioned politely as she finished tapping in the order on her computer. Roman nodded, and handed her another five.

“I know I already said it, but I hope you have a wonderful day and night!” Roman called as he headed down to the pick-up counter. He only had to wait for a few minutes again before being handed both of his drinks, straws already in them. He thanked the employee who handed him the drinks, and quickly made his way over to Logan with an excited grin plastered onto his face.

Sitting down and sliding Logan his drink, Roman couldn’t help the grin that crept back up onto his face, and continued to grow. He couldn’t help it; he was just so happy. Logan tilted his head at Roman inquisitively and Roman practically melted off the chair at the gesture. He was ecstatic that Logan was his soulmate, and that he had finally met him.

“I’m so happy we finally got to meet. I’ve been wanting to meet any of my soulmates for so long and now you’re here, actually in front of me and it’s amazing and kind of surreal.” Roman sighed happily. “I just couldn’t be happier about this right now.” Roman finally said in response to Logan’s earlier questioning glance.

“Oh, well, yes.” Logan smiled and adjusted his glasses. “I, too, have been wanting to see who my soulmates are for quite a while. Though, I am worried about Sky Blue and Purple’s unhealthy habits.” Logan commented with a small frown, and tapped his coffee pointedly.

“Oh, yeah, I feel that one.” Roman raised his coffee towards Logan slightly. “Especially as college students. The lack of sleep of just working on my own projects is bad enough, but then purple never sleeps and it’s a nightmare getting through the day. I mean, I don’t blame him and I’m not upset, just concerned and very tired. Though, I can’t imagine what actually having insomnia must feel like.” Roman shrugged and took a long sip off his drink as Logan considered his words carefully.

“That’s fair. I just hope that when we meet him, perhaps we can help a little? One can hope, at least.” Logan sighed tiredly, and also took a long sip off his coffee. “I agree with you though. Especially about being a college student. Classes are much harder to perform well in when I feel I’m about to pass out from exhaustion half the time, despite keeping a fairly good sleep schedule myself.”

“You said it.” Roman chuckled. “And yes, I do hope that when we meet them, we’ll be able to help in some way. Even if it’s a small way.” Roman sighed softly and frowned in thought, staring down at his hand but without really looking. How long would he have to wait before they were all together? Of course, he was beyond excited he had met Logan, but he wanted to have all of his loves in one space and give them all as much affection as he possibly could.

“Oh, look at the time!” Logan exclaimed, checking his phone. “It’s already 2:05, I have to go. Uh, text me later, okay?” He asked hurriedly, and hardly waited for Roman’s quick, enthusiastic nod before he was rushing out the door. Roman shook his head with a small smile.

He didn’t get to talk with Logan long, but Roman knew he was already completely in love.

He couldn’t wait to fall in love with his other soulmates too.

#ts #ts roman #ts virgil #ts logan #ts patton #lamp/calm #polysanders #soulmate AU #soulmates #ink on skin #you feel what your soulmate feels #fluff #like so much fluff #fic #chapter 1 #YW&F

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ketchup-monthly · 3 years

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Sanders Sides D&D 1

imagine virgil just cursing janus while out of combat, and theres one time where they end up going into a combat scenario while hes still cursed

but the thing with the curse is that if the creature dies while cursed, the warlock gains temporary hit points

so if cursed janus were to die, virgil would gain temp hp

Patton: omg, we need to save Janus Virgil, who cursed him yesterday: how about we let him die, then resurrect him later, yeah?

(roman and remus) lol they would totally just run into each other and instantly just hate

everyone else (except maybe patton) would figure out that theyre brothers but they would just deny it until their father (who maybe they were looking for) spelled it out for them

concept: they're an aasimar and tiefling both on a quest to find their long lost brother, but their both expecting their sibling to be the same race as them. they don't get along for both personality reasons and because, you know, aasimar and tiefling, but they're both in the party anyway

I just realized that as a changeling Janus can just change his height at will

Like to make a point to the twins when theyre acting up, he can change to be like 7 foot (still a medium creature tho)

But like. Subtly adjusting his height so much that no one notices until hes suddenly as tall as patton

"Im a growing boy" (true but also false)

tricking people by slowly growing/shrinking on them but trying to convince them it's the other way around

"dude, weren't you shorter a few minutes ago?" "i have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. are you feeling alright?"

"Youre getting taller" "No youre just getting shorter"

he gets like a full six inches on whoever he's pranking before they start really panicking

Except Virgil, who panics immediately

virgil also really notices bc in normal form, janus is only an inch shorter than him

despite being smart, Logan usually doesnt notice at all until Janus has gotten at least 4 inches taller, and then he knows whats going on

Virgil, realizing his sight line for Janus is slightly off: narrows eyes

roman takes a while to notice and he panics as well. remus thinks its hilarious. patton notices once Janus is taller than him (after 4 or 5 inches)

oh! because of the type of tiefling he is, Remus knows the vicious mockery cantrip

the thing is though, he would end up using it on the rest of his party too (everyone takes psychic damage on a failed wis save)

he would purposefully use it on his party members

as if he were a bard. he would try to inspire them but would instead harm them

remus is a barbarian who thinks himself a bard

he is a harbinger of chaos, we stan

he'd make your dad jokes at roman lmaoooo

not knowing hes talking shit about his own dad

he'd keep making them after they find out their siblings, probably tho

Roman: we have the same dad! Remus: >:)

im thinking about making romans name actually romulus but he goes by roman

bc romulus and remus

and bc roman seems to tame for a noble

okay so their dad is named Mars or some derivative of Mars, and their moms are Rhea and Silvia. Remus was in part raised by a beasthide shifter (the wolf kind) named Lupe (bc i need feral child remus)

probably romans mom was an aasimar and remus's mom was a tiefling (and while their dad was human, they ended up being an aasimar and a tiefling, respectively, bc dominant genes)

also the boys have inverted hair and eye colors

remus has dark hair with a white streak and red eyes, roman has white hair with smaller dark streaks all around and green eyes

as a drow, Virgil has light purple skin, white and purple hair, and eyes that have black instead of white and purple irises

Remus: hey, man, i need a heal Roman: no. go bother Patton Remus: Pat's out of heals Roman: Remus: dude, pls Roman: you are covered in muck and i don't even like you. no. no way Remus: Roman: Remus: please, brother Roman: ..........fine

roman heals him for 1hp

Roman: take a nap

what would be funny is if remus called roman his brother long before they knew they had the same dad but he did it to annoy him bc he knew roman hated it when he did it

Remus: hello, brother Roman: we're not brothers Remus: we're brothers-in-arms, aren't we? Roman: that's not the same! Remus: eh, close enough

Roman at Remus is the line from trail to oregon thats like "why am i even trying to help you, i hate you"

roman also just straight up refuses to heal janus, even when pat is out of spell slots

yeeee i have Patton as a druid but its just because i want his wild shape to be a giant frog (also druids are healers and have access to both cure wounds and healing word)

well in the first one, roman and remus are looking for their dad/the brother their mothers said they have

janus wanted to fuck shit up (not really, he was bored and annoying virgil is fun. and remus needed a babysitter)

(logan maybe knew roman previously and was sent as his babysitter)

romans got no brain cells. hes a noble on a quest. of course someone smart would be sent to keep him from dying

logan might work with Jan

(Bro, big dramatic reveal x chapters in, Jan knew Remus and romans father)

janus (handshake emoji) logan tired of keeping the twins from dying

i was thinking he was chosen by romans mom originally as like a "logan you are the only smart one please keep him from doing something stupid"

as a courtier, Janus would have known Roman and by extension Logan

so if hes really the one orchestrating the reason the main party got together, then (eyes)

virgil was a street rat, thats his background, so he likely knew at least of roman, janus, and logan. pat and remus are both wanderers of sorts, so that may be Pats connection to the main 4

okay but i had remus as an outlander, so like. maybe he was but then his mom took him away?

i had him as like a wild man child whose mom was like "hey you have a brother" and remus was like "sweet imma find him"

they were completely separate. romans mom was the daughter of a noble, so he was raised as a noble. remus's mom was either the daughter of a tribal chief or the chief herself, so he was raised like that. they had no idea that they had a brother. the moms likely knew, or they were told somehow by the dad, but they were completely separate

Mom: remus you have a half brother Remus: okay Mom: thats it? you're not shocked? Remus: mom do you think he'd like my bug collection?

(the answer is no, Roman does not like the bug collection)

Patton also does not like the bug collection

virgil and logan love it, and janus is used to it

so changeling janus, right? if he orchestrated it all, then he could have been in different forms in the court and in the tribal village

so like he knew basically everyone (but Pat, who Remus met and then kept)

Remus, to patton: I like your funny words, magic man

Remus, upon meeting Pat: so you like frogs Patton: ....yes? Remus: cool i like them too. they taste slimy. Patton: ??????? Remus: Patton: are you okay? Remus: nope! Patton: ....okay... Remus: wanna see my bug collection?

Remus, setting himself on fire: ahhahaaha nothing can hurt me Janus, quick to douse him in water: resistance is not the same as immunity!!!

#ss d&d 1

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cookiedoughmeagain · 3 years

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Haven DVD Commentaries: 5.18 - Wild Card

Commentary with Brian Millikin and Nick Parker, co-writers for the episode

I love these guys, they have so much to say ...

BM: So this was a tricky one. When we wound up getting assigned it, we were like; Oh boy. There was so much exposition to get in. And this was always going to be a bit of a turning point in the season. We knew that 5.14 would set up the shroud, and 15 and 16 would be living in Haven with the shroud and seeing how tough life was. And then 17 was always going to be a stand-alone episode, it was shot by itself. Lucas Bryant directed it and it was great. And that was more about Audrey and Nathan - a bit of a pause to deal with them. But then we’ve got 18 and 19 that were shot together, and we knew that these would be the two episodes to really launch us into the Croatoan story for the rest of the season.

BM: And we knew that this would be the last epsiode for Charlotte. NP: And that’s something that was tough about this episode but also fun to tackle, because we knew she was going to die at the end of this episode, and when we were first conceiving the episode we did not know that we should be coming back for 19, so we had to have a lot of emotional moments. This scene right here showing that her and Dwight are back together. We had to have a lot of emotional moments for her character so that when she bites it at the end, it’s powerful. BM: Yeah we always knew that at the end of 18 Charlotte would be killed by Croatoan. And Charlotte and Dwight were on the rocks in between 5A and 5B, but we wanted to get them back together and see them happy together again, and this is the payoff. I mean it’s sad it’s the same episode she’s going to die - it’s a bit like a horror movie where the people who have sex are the ones who get killed. And we knew we were going to open with the two of them in bed having this tender moment, because we knew that we were going to end with her dead. Which was sad because we really liked Laura Mennell, everyone did, but it was always … NP: That was how many episodes we had her for. BM: Yeah it was just the ten episodes that we had, and that’s just the nature of actor deals but it happened like that because we knew we didn’t want the character around that much longer. It’s a little bit of the Obi-Wan syndrome, that you get your answers from these people who know a lot and then at a certain point you need to dispatch with them (kind of like Garland Wuornos in the first season) so that your other characters can step up. If she was around, then she takes a bit away from what Audrey and Nathan and Dwight are left to do. So from the day we created here in 5.08, we always knew that she was going to be dying. But she was a great addition to the show. But we also knew that we needed a Trouble in the episode. NP: That was another tough thing, that this had to be, in some ways, more of a traditional Trouble of the Week episode. BM: Yes, well the dictum that we had was to have a normal Trouble for the first half of the episode, but then to reveal that this Trouble had been instigated by Croatoan. Because at this point we’ve had to dispatch with the typical Trouble of the Week to an extent. The situations that we’re dealing with, they need to start coming from our bad guy so that he’s active in doing these things. Especially because he was going to kill Charlotte in this episode. So it was a bit of a tough one. I remember us all sitting down to decide which Trouble to include and the Tarot card Trouble was one that we had been talking about for years and years. And it wound up working really well in this episode. NP: Yeah it’s fun when we can go to the Trouble Bank and pull something out, that’s been an idea that’s been bouncing around for a while, and then put a particular spin on it. And we really, really dug in on the research for the Tarot, because it’s such an established … BM: Because you’re a humongous Tarot card nerd? NP: Fair enough. But also because it’s such an established mythology … BM: Sure NP: … and there’s so much text and information out there. We wanted it to be true to the Tarot, but also dramatically interesting for a television show. BM: It was a real tough push and pull. Because we knew what we needed the Tarot cards to do to our characters. Sometimes before we knew what Tarot card to be, so we had to retrofit it a little bit - and change it up somewhat. So it was a not-ideal situation and I know it was a real struggle for you, because you’re a purist. But most TV shows will just make up Tarot cards. Or they’ll say, for instance, that the death card means death when it doesn’t really. So we endevoured to not succumb to too much of that. I think we landed somewhere in the middle. NP: Somewhere in the middle. I mean we couldn’t do the traditional seven card cross reading, we couldn’t go into the full detail. BM: No, that would be a six hour episode. NP: So it’s a simplified version but we do end up being able to work in both the major and minor arcana. It was fun. BM: Yeah and I think something that attracted us to the concept was having different cards for different characters, and Croatoan being able to draw more cards for more characters, but also the idea of, what in the room we called Russian Roulette. That we would get to a place where the only way out was to keep going forward in the game, and to draw more cards and just hope for the best. That was really appealing, particularly to Matt McGuinness, our show runner.

[As Dwight and Nathan find the second body] NP: Interesting fact here; that shoreline looks different from any other shoreline you’ve ever seen in Haven because this was no longer shot in Chester, Nova Scotia. This and episode 19 were our first episodes in our new home for season 5B; Halifax. BM: Yeah 17 was the last episode we shot before moving to Halifax. And also one of the most beautiful, so props to Lucas Bryant. But this I think was one of the first days shooting in Halifax and we really endeavoured to find locations (currently out of focus in the background!) that looked a lot like Chester. And it’s not impossible, but a little bit tough. It was a bit easier for these Duke scenes, because the Duke storyline, he’s not in Haven anyway. So that was a lot easier. NP: Ah Kris Lemche. He’s just funny. BM: Yes, Seth Byrne. Super happy that we brought him back again. He was terrific. We knew that 5B was going to be Duke off on his own for a lot of the time. And we had a lot of conversations about; Who is he going to be talking to? We wanted 15 and 16 for him to be out there on his own. And for 17, I think it was always going to be Kris Lemche. We flirted with someone else, whose name I’m probably not allowed to say right now. BM: No, I don’t think you can. But we had talked originally about having Kris Lemche come back to Haven, and so whenever he was leaving at the end of 508, it was very vague. BM: Very vague. He was like; I’m just going to , go … over there NP: I’m just going to step out of this scene, and you may or may not see me later at some indeterminate point in time. But then once we came up with the idea that the shroud doesnt only trap people in Haven, but affects the memories of people outside it, then that allowed us to have … and Kris already has that dry delivery and a good sense of humour, and he was able to handle that very well. So once we started writing those scenes it made perfect sense.

BM: So Duke’s story in this episode was always pretty straightforward. We had set up in 17 that Seth comes to him with his idea of hope, where he might be able to find a cure. And so this would be the episode where he goes to do it, and kind of believes there for a second, and then it turns out to be crap just like everything else. Another dead end. NP: Yeah we wanted to play around with the idea of the old Native healer kind of thing, turn that on it’s head a little bit and turn him into a con artist, basically. BM: Yeah and I don’t know if the con artist thing is that much of a surprise NP: No. BM: But given where it comes in the episode we had hoped that people would maybe think; Wow, I can’t believe that they’re going to actually do the faith healer thing. And then wonder; Well now what’s Duke going to do. And the idea is, that’s what Duke is wondering too.

[Nathan and Dwight and the bronco with its flat tyre] NP: What was fun about this scene was, basically getting them to talk about dating two women from another world. BM: Mother and daughter too. But yeah, for my money, I wish we’d had time to do more stuff like that. But we had so much to do in this episode. There is just a torrent of exposition coming up soon. Which our cast handled super-well. NP: Yeah it’s tough when you know that you’ve got a character who has to die at the end of the episode. And you also know that is your one character who has all the information that you need your other characters to have, it’s tought to get all of that out that quickly with it being, speechy BM: Yeah I mean there were versions of this early on where we didn’t even have a Trouble in this episode and Croatoan was the main threat - but it was too soon. So we needed everyone needed to be going through something here. But we really liked the idea of everyone being affected by the same Trouble in different ways. So it makes it pretty clear that something’s coming after them specifically. NP: And you’ll notice the tattoos on their wrists, we had long conversations about how are we going to know that everyone’s been affected by the same thing. BM: Yeah, how do they know that it’s all the same Trouble NP: And how to represent that. BM: And it was your idea I think - and luckily all of the major Tarot cards all have numbers on them. So everyone could have the same sort of Roman numeral that matches the one on the card. So it was like; That’s a great idea! But where do the numbers go? So then it was this whole debate about where the number should be. I said forehead, but that’s hours of makeup. NP: A little too much. But it was kind of funny with the major vs minor arcana. We needed Audrey to have a slightly different kind of expressed Trouble than the others, so she’s the one that’s affected by the minor arcana rather than the major BM: Well our way of thinking about it was that you have to figure that Croatoan has rigged it. He’s stacked the deck. So he would have known, because - spoiler alert - Croatoan is at the point kind of inside of Dave and possessing him from time to time, he knows everything that Dave knows. So he is aware of the aether they’ve found, and he is aware of what Charlotte and Audrey are trying to do down there. So he chose cards for Audrey and Charlotte that are preventing them from doing what they need to do. NP: Yeah and his goal is not to kill anyone, becuase that could be a simpler thing. BM: That’s true. And we knew from the get go that he wouldn’t want to kill Audrey. We knew about his relationship with Mara and what his ultimate plan is for Audrey, to kind of make lemonade out of the lemon that is Audrey and just have her be his new daughter. Which we liked because it kind of echoed what Charlotte has done; she has taken in Audrey as her daughter, and Croatoan is basically going to do the same thing. Except the problem is that Croatoan is a bad guy.

[As the guy is pretending to draw the demons out of Duke] NP: This is a cool place they ended up filming this. The production design, I appreciate it a lot. BM: Yeah this all worked really well. When we wrote it in that he would cut a vein and it would drip black goo out, I was like; Maybe they’re not going to want to do that. But everyone really responded to it. NP: It worked out. And you know it’s funny, because it feels like a bit of a different show. This feels like magic, whereas the Troubles are expressed ina bit of a different way. And what I like is that we ended up separating that, and it’s like; this is not how the world works BM: Yeah, and the actor was great here. Good casting. NP: And Kris sells it too.

BM: Ah I forgot Vince and Dave were in this episode. It was important for us to have a little Vince and Dave story in here. For the most part - huge spoiler alert for many other episodes - because we knew that Croatoan had kind of hitched a ride in Dave, and was periodically taking over his body. And that’s why Dave has been losing time, the way everyone did back in the cave. And so we needed that to be in evidence in this episode, but not super obvious that it’s Dave. Because we are going to reveal in the next episode that it’s Dave, so we needed it to be not too obvious here, but obvious enough that it makes sense in the look back. So we knew that we needed just a little Vince and Dave story where they’re poking into what’s going on and finding that they’ve lost time within this episode. And we hoped that if it happens to Vince, Dave and Gloria, maybe it’ll seem like Croatoan just fired a warning shot across their bow. As opposed to what it actually is, which is that they all lost time because Croataon came out from inside Dave and went across town to kill Charlotte. But the it’s a situation that we imagined that Vince has been losing time over and over again, more than anybody. We had versions of that story line where we would discover at the end that Vince and Dave were super addled, their minds were like swiss cheese because they’d lost time every night since… well it’s been a couple weeks now since the season started.

[As Audrey and Charlotte are talking in the cave and Charlotte mentions her father] NP: I gotta say, we kind of gave the actors a tall order here. Because it’s all exposition, but they’re having to act this whole time as though Audrey is going blind, and Charlotte is super weak. And we spent a lot of the VFX budget on the aether swirling around them, so we couldn’t do any VFX with them themselves BM: But I think that moment of them connecting and her telling her about her father is just as effective as any VFX shot NP: Thanks to them. BM: Because as much as we had a Charlotte/Dwight story to tell, it’s also a big deal that Audrey’s about to lose charlotte. And so we wanted for them to have a bit of a story here too, and for this to kind of cap off their relationship that they really came together.

NP: Ah here is Miss Fortuna [the tarot card reader], which is just a tragic name to choose. Lainey Fortuna. But the actor did a great job. BM: Yeah this worked out really well. We knew that she was going to have a big role in the episode. She has to explain the tarot card stuff, so she has to be alive throughout. But because there’s so much Dwight and Charlotte stuff and Audrey and Charlotte stuff going on here, we knew that Nathan was going to wind up dealing with the tarot card of it all, and staying here with Lainey just by the nature of the story. And yeah, galloping hooves, some of this a bit of a literal interpretation of the cards, but it’s kind of accurate. NP: And we kind of wanted to do the more traditional or metaphysical interpretations of the cards for our main characters, and then the people are in evidence, the bodies, are pretty literal interpretations; struck by lightning. BM: My only regret about this really is that we really liked the idea of Nathan’s bad luck. And in some versions of the script we had a lot of comedy really, where he had become an unlucky clutz. NP: Yeah there was door knocker that fell off in his hand, he knocked over an entire table of candles. He was kind of the slapstick comic relief. Whereas Kris Lemche was doing the dry sarcastic stuff. BM: Yeah but we just didn’t have time for it, unfortunately. This episode like so many others, came in long. And it’s kind of brutal what you end up having to cut. Even in the scripts because you have timings and we don’t have time to shoot everything, let alone stuff that’s going to end up being on the cutting room floor anyway. It’s brutal. And in this case it was almost the funniest parts of the episode that ended up getting cut. NP: Yeah probably. BM: But it happens. And this was a big deal here, what they’re about to realise. This was something we had been working towards for a season and a half, that whoever is causing people to lose time - the No Marks Killer they’re still calling him here - has now come for them.

NP: And another thing about this episode and trying to get everything done is that because this was the first episode up in Halifax, we did not have any of our standing sets. So none of this is happening in the police station or anything like that. That doesn’t happen until 19 when we see the dilapidated station. So this takes place almost entirely on location.

[When Dwight meets Charlotte and Audrey outside the cave] BM: And this was a big scene, with the Croatoan of it all. We had to make sure that Charlotte hadn’t heard that word used before in previous episodes, because we knew that it would be this episode when we would learn this from her. And we didn’t want her to be alive for too long, frankly, to tell us everything we needed to know. But her idea was not too dissimilar from the Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader distinction, that she doesn’t know that Croataon is her late husband. She thinks that Croatoan is the monster that killed her husband. And we needed for her in this episode to realise that they are actually one and the same; that her husband became Croataon. But she needed to realise that kind of without telling anyone until the very end. It was a bit of a tricky proposition, and she had a lot to explain. But Laura Mennell is as good with that stuff as the rest of our cast. NP: Yeah she sells it.

[As Duke is confronting the guy about faking the black blood] BM: This is funny, he is a lot bigger than Eric Balfour is. We always imagined that this would be a little guy, but he totally sells it with his performance. But if they got in a fight, I don’t know. NP: Yeah he’s like twice the size of Eric. But I like that they’re down in North Carolina which ties back to the classic lost colony business which is always fun. And we had known that we wanted to send him back down there to help tie up some of the lose ends from episodes 5 and 6 when Vince and Dave went down there. That was when they first learnt that there might be some connection between the lost colony myth and what’s happening in Haven, and we knew what it was even back then, that the Big Bad was named Croatoan. But we needed to learn just a little bit more. Both here from Charlotte and also in the next episode with Duke and the mysterious stranger.

[As Charlotte and Audrey talk with Dwight again, outside the cave and he says he’ll stand watch outside] BM: So this is where the episode kind of turned. We had 20 minutes of a normal Haven episode to an extent, and this is where it starts to turn into the end game for the entire season. NP: Yeah and what’s interesting about this episode is that it’s not traditional in the sense that we get to the Troubled person at the end and have to figure out how to solve it - this is like, we found the Troulbed person pretty early on, and it’s about solving it before everyone dies rather than about finding out who it is. BM: Yeah, it’s funny Nathan telling Dwight here that he doesn’t know how to solve Lainey’s Trouble. There had been a scene before this where he was working with Lainey and trying Trouble-whisper her, but it wasn’t working. Her husband was gone, but she was like; totally fine with it. And in the end we just covered it in the conversation there and I think it works. So this had been something that we sold from the get go and the network and our bosses and everybody were all on board. The appeal of the Tarot card ultimately I think was that we would get to this place where we have no choice but to flip new cards. NP: Yeah and what was the added bad stakes of that was Nathan has terrible bad luck right now.

[Nathan calling to Dwight after they’ve drawn a new card for him, silence for a scary-long time, and then Dwight’s ‘How’s it going?’] *both laugh* BM: I’m glad that worked as well as it did. He totally got it. We were not on set for these episodes. So the script goes up there, you deal with production a couple times, you talk to the director and have the table read, and then you kind of cross your fingers. But we’ve got a great team up there, and Lee Rose is a great director. But you sort of have to wait until you get the dailies a couple days later to see what worked. And most stuff does.

[Duke and Seth find the grave with the Guard symbol] BM: And the idea with this scene here was it was the end of Duke’s sort of wild goose chase, we kind of thought that he would just have to laugh about it. Walter Faraday there [the name on the grave] is a somewhat obscure Dark Tower reference. NP: Yeah it’s basically a mash up of two different characters; Walter and Faraday BM: But there is also a big Tarot card component to the first two Dark Tower books, which we both love, and so Tarot cards had always been on our to-do list for Haven. Not only that but there’s another Dark Tower reference coming towards the end of the episode. NP: And tarot felt very much in the Stephen King universe. So it was fun to finally do that episode that we had talked about doing for years. And production did a great job of making a beautiful set of Tarot cards. BM: Yeah, for legal clearance reasons you have to use your own cards. The art work and everything has to be your own. NP: Or wasn’t there something about the images on the cards are cleared, but the backs of the cards are not. So that was a whole thing. BM: And Lainey had a lot to do in explaining all these cards. But she did a great job. NP: And the Russian Roulette works well. BM: And here in the cave, with Laura Mennell and Emily Rose, we didn’t do them any favours either. We knew going into this that we had set up the idea of this cloud of aether swirling above them. And we’d known for a while that they were going to have to take all of this and turn it into the aether core... NP: They basically have to Use The Force BM: … as part one of building the new Barn. But no one ever talked about how they were actually going to do it. So we got to this point and everyone realised, what do you do? She can’t just click her fingers. So it really became similar to what we’ve seen William do in the past. But it’s a little bit tought. And we are watching this right now without the final VFX, so they are just staring up into space, so I can only hope that it looks good in the end. But I felt so sorry for them as actors because they have to just trust that it’s going to look OK. It’s not unique to our show but I feel sorry for the actors because they have to do some pretty silly stuff sometimes. But they’re selling it, they’re doing a great job. NP: And I think once they have that moment where they hold hands, that brings it all together and that earns it. BM: I’m generally like things to be as least saccarine as possible, but writing this scene I felt that was a moment where that was called for. And it ended up sticking from the first iteration of this story. And becuase we knew that she was going to die, we needed the two of them to accomplish this task together. And that them reaching out to each other would be the last step in them doing that. And remember we went through so many different designs for what the aether core would look like? NP: Oh so many. BM: And right up to the last minute as well. But I think it ended up working really well.

[As Audrey tells Charlotte her new card was The Lovers] BM: Ah the Lovers bomb. This was one of my favourite things in the episode. Once we came up with the Tarot card idea and were working out what card would be pulled for Charlotte, then it was like; What if it was the Lovers? Because that can be what tells Charlotte the truth about who Croatoan might really be, that’s the moment she puts it all together. And it would land on her face but she wouldn’t say anything - love it. And this scene [as they try to free Dwight from the fence], one of my favourites too, I love that she winds up saying goodbye to Dwight and is going off on a mission. Here she lies to Audrey to get Audrey to get away. I just love it. And I think that all three of them were really good here, especially Adam and Laura. But just in general, maybe it’s me, I’m a sucker for goodbyes. Any time a character has to say goodbye and the other person *doesn’t know that*, I’m in. NP: And she sells it super well. And this is why the devil card was so important in this moment, because Dwight is completely bound, unable to move. Helpless really. BM: Yeah this was why we ended up choosing that card - solely for that moment.

[Audrey walking along with the aether core] NP: This is a bit of a reference to your all time favourite movie. BM: My number one - Back to the Future. I’m a sucker for Marty McFly and the guitar up on the stage. But this was also something that worked with the Tarot cards we had at our disposal. And was achievable for her to be out here by herself. As a scheduling issue, you know, we might have liked for there to be a rock slide, but we didn’t have time to film that

NP: I love Gloria calling Dave Bert and Ernie. BM: And I love the revelation that we get to, that they’ve all been losing time. It’s a big deal. And we’re still trying to keep it [Croatoan’s connection to Dave] a secret from the audience as much as we can. I don’t know if it worked, maybe people see right through it. But it seemed like we could, if the characters believed that they had incurred the wrath of Croatoan because they had got too close. NP: It worked enough to delay it for now, so. I think. I hope.

[As Audrey is disappearing] BM: This was a big moment for us, we had kind of written ourselves into a corner and had realised; Well what if we just have Nathan learn the rules of Tarot card readings and start a new reading entirely? And so many of the things that we end up doing (maybe it’s just you and me?) with Nathan come down to, in a weird way, Nathan’s super power is his faith, and his hope. And so, this is just kind of what he does. And he really saves the day. NP: We try to give Nathan as many of those ‘save the day’ moments as possible. BM: Absolutely. Love Nathan. NP: He’s great. BM: Huge Nathan fans. We ship Nathan here. NP: Or ship Lucas Bryant. I love that guy to death. BM: That’s true. It’s a Nathan-Lucas thing. But it’s true - it seem deceptively simple, but sometimes you just have to ask the right question. NP: And luckily we had Nathan in this scene, because he’s the only one who can really ask that question. BM: Yeah, I mean we’d had much more complicated, involved and strange ways out of this, but this was the simplest and I think wound up being the best version of it. [Lainey on screen: If you cause is just, you can overcome any obstacle] NP: And that’s good platforming for the rest of the season I think BM: We had danced around that a lot here. We needed that prediction to be true for the rest of the season. And there was a season coming up that got cut, we filmed it but cut it - it was a brief moment where we come back to Nathan and Lainey and see that there is another card out there. And they don’t know who it was played for. It was the, um … NP: The Hermit. Which is about going on a journey of discovery. BM: And the idea was that in the lookback it would be something that would help explain who Duke winds up talking to out there in the middle of nowhere, that Croatoan had played a card for himself so that he was able to send a emissary, or a spectre to talk to Duke. And it wound up being confusing, and not really necessary, so it got cut out. NP: And we were long anyway on this one

[As Charlotte is frantically packing some things in the final scene] BM: So this scene was such a challenge. We knew that Charlotte had to be confronted by Croatoan. We knew that she knew who he was at this point. And we knew that she was going to be killed. But we also knew that the audience couldn’t see that what’s really happening here is that there is a possessed Dave off screen. So we couldn’t see him. So she had to be talking to an unseen person and be killed by someone we couldn’t see. So it was tough. I felt terrible for her, but Lee Rose [director] and Laura really put it together, because she was just all by herself talking to … I think Joanne our script supervisor was shouting lines off camera. NP: But Lee shot this wonderfully. It’s nice and dark and moody. BM: Yeah we needed it to be scary, again it was a little bit like a horror movie here. And we needed them to refer a little bit to the history they have with each other, with just blatantly expo-dumping like crazy about what’s going on. And we knew that her last words would be sticking up for Audrey, and that that might be what would cause her to charge at Croatoan. NP: That voice was interesting, because it’s both Dave’s voice but also the voice of Croatoan from the void and it needs to be masked in order for the dramatic tension.

[Duke and the mysterious stranger] BM: This was another Dark Tower-ish sort of moment. We wished that we could have shot this at night time, and there was originally a camp fire, but it just wasn’t practical production-wise to do that. But there’s a bit of a man in black and gunslinger feel to this, at the end of the first Dark Tower book. But this is where Duke is going to get some of his answers. And I love this guy. NP: This guy does a great, great job.

[Audrey about to find Charlotte] BM: And then this here’s just a sad moment. The two of them were great, but it’s tough. NP: This scene ended up working really well. BM: It was a hard one to write, and it’s hard for them to act, but I think that they really nailed it. NP: With scenes like this, you can’t be precious or careful, you just have to write the hell out of them and just go for it. BM: Yeah, we just tried to go for some emotional reality. Like, what would you say to someone in this kind of moment? I just expected everyone to blow it up and for it to get re-conceived entirely. But Laura and Emily were totally on board and everyone else was too, and I think it’s just because, it’s just sad. NP: It feels honest BM: We actually cut the last 10 seconds or so, where originally Nathan and Dwight rush into the room and the last moment would be seeing Dwight’s face NP: I think we ended up cutting that because in 19 she comes back and he gets a goodbye then BM: He does, and it kind of detracted from what is a serious Audrey and Charlotte scene here. And the challenge is that it’s a touching moment, but Charlotte needs to reveal that Croataon is Mara’s father, and he’s coming for her. NP And especially after they spent the whole episode together. They bonded. BM: Yeah, but it’s just a gutting ending here and I hope that the audience was surprised. I hope that it really lands for people NP: So yeah, there it is; the death of Charlotte Cross. Thank you so much Laura Mennell

#haven syfy #haven 5 #haven dvd commentaries #5.18 - wild card #haven spoilers

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sincerelyreidburke · 3 years

Note

ooh also 4 for Bri and Reid because I love them

Friends! Romans! Countrymen! ARE YOU READY for some good shit?!?! I say this because this is my very first time writing Reid/Bri! I mean, they’ve been in the background a few times in drama club stuff, but I’ve never actually gotten to focus on them. Toby enables me, because xe loves me.

“Who’s Bri?” Reid’s girlfriend!

In today’s episode of prompts, you will get a glimpse into Reid’s post-graduation life! If you want to read more about what’s in store for him after Kiersey, you can check out this post. And even this one, too, if you’d like.

Here, you’ll see a Reid two years removed from graduation and a little down on his luck. You also finally get to see inside his brain. *Slaps hood of Reid Burke* This bad boy can fit so much mental illness in him.

From this list of sappy prompts, which I am still accepting and filling as we speak!

4. “Shut up and kiss me.”

two years after (reid's) graduation | may

Reid considers himself spectacularly efficient when it comes to fucking things up.

He knows this. Has always known it. He figures it’s a good thing to be self-aware, at least. He’s probably one of the more self-aware human beings to ever have a conscience, come to think of it, given the amount of time he spends policing his own every action. But still. There has to be some benefit in being so well aware of your own flaws that you can constantly predict your fuck-ups before they even happen. It’s like damage control when the damage hasn’t even set in.

Anyway. Reid knows he’s good at fucking up. But if there’s one thing he would really prefer not to fuck up, it’s Bri’s birthday.

Easier said than done.

When midnight strikes on the day she’s turning 24, he’s not even home, which is the first reason he feels guilty and useless. He’s at work, apron around his waist, tie done up too tight, sneaking glances at the clock across the room in between customers and refills. He wishes he had his phone on him, as the minute hand lines up with the second hand at the 12. He could at least text her. He could make up for the fact that he’s not there in person, to ring in the first moments of the day. But his phone is in the back, in his locker, because this is the best-paying place he works at, and he doesn’t want to risk his employment by getting caught with a phone by his manager. Or worse, a nosy customer, who will subsequently rat him out to his manager, and, well— yeah. Not to mention the fact that it’s usually so fast-paced in the bar that there’s no time to check your phone anyway.

The point is. He wishes he could text Bri. But he can’t. It’s probably for the best. She’s probably not even awake. It would actually be bad if she were awake. A healthy sleep schedule is something she deserves.

Actually, she deserves a lot. The entire world. A lot more than Reid has ever been able to give her, and there isn’t a day that goes by when his brain fails to remind him of that particular fuckup in his life thus far. But tonight, he shouldn’t think in huge terms. Tonight, he should just worry about her birthday.

Man, he wishes he were home in bed.

The strike of midnight, although it provides something to focus on, isn’t even the sign of his shift nearing an end, because the bar doesn’t close until 2:30, and the latter two and a half hours of work wind up passing by even more slowly than the beginning of his shift did. When he finally sees his last customer out, after last call, and he’s the only lonely, lingering person in the place— then, the end is in sight. He has closing chores ahead of him, but at least he doesn’t have to wait around to go home anymore.

It’s nothing that out of the ordinary, really, to be working this late. Between three jobs and sneaking in open mic nights between them any chance he can, he can’t remember the last time he had a night entirely off. Or a day, honestly, and tomorrow— or today, since it’s past midnight— isn’t any exception. He has the lunch shift at the street diner he works at, and the jury’s still out as to whether he’s going to bag his shift at the second bar he works at tomorrow night.

All of this is to say: he’s working a lot. Which is fine. Work means money, which means staying alive, especially with the New York cost of living he’s gotten used to since they moved here after graduation. It’s a necessary part of life. He just wishes life could stop, for one day, so he could do this right. So he could at least give her something, to make up for all the areas in life where he’s lacking. Where he’s an extremely underwhelming excuse for a future husband.

And, look— he did actually get her a present, so that’s not the issue here. It’s more the lack of time. It’s more the overwhelming sense that, despite her stability, despite the fact that she’s stuck with him for six years, he doesn’t deserve this patience, and that one day she might finally come to her senses and decide that she doesn’t feel like waiting around while he slums it in New York and tries to make it big, that she wants, like, a normal life, with a partner who makes a salary and a house or at least an apartment with more than one room and, like, basic predictability and success—

Ugh.

For now, for this very early morning, he won’t think about all of that, no matter how much it rings in his ears as he cleans up and closes the bar. For now, he just wants to make sure Bri has the most perfect morning possible. And to do that, he has a checklist.

Step one: finish work. He considers that done as he locks the front door of the bar, and steps out onto the street. It’s kind of breezy but not exactly cold out, since Bri’s birthday marks the last day of May, and summer is pretty much here. It’s not really busy outside on the street, but he’s not the only one out, either. Rule number one of New York City: you are literally never the only person out and about, no matter what time of day it is.

Step two: the bodega. It’s on his walk, open twenty-four hours, and he stops there so often at weird hours of the night after work shifts that he’s established a rapport with the cashier who works the red-eye shift. “Eyyyyyy,” he sings, as he swings through the door into the small, artificially lit space. “What’s up, Charlie? You working hard, or hardly working?”

Actually, it’s not so much a rapport. It’s more that he’s constantly the loudest customer who graces this place between the hours of midnight and four in the morning, and Charlie probably hates him, but still tolerates his presence. So.

He needs flour, half a dozen eggs, a tied-up bunch of yellow and white flowers, and rainbow sprinkles. He also slides three Red Bull onto Charlie’s till, and then grins across the counter to remark, “The necessities.”

Charlie grunts or maybe chuckles, and scans his stuff. “Right.”

Step three: get home and get to work.

It’s, like, six minutes on foot from work to the bodega, and then four more to the subway stop, and then the subway is a whole host of issues that land him back at the apartment building around 3:30 in the morning. Bri’s alarm goes off at 6:30 for work, and he figures he can intercept her for a proper birthday breakfast before she goes to the gallery. Given that he kills one of the Red Bull from the bodega while he’s in transit to get home, he is at least ninety percent confident that there’s no point in not pulling an all-nighter.

It’s fine. He’s not even tired. He has stuff to do, anyway.

The apartment is dark when he gets in, and he tries to make the smallest amount of noise, which, when you think about it, is kind of pointless because it’s only one room and any noise he makes could count as a disturbance, but— but— Bri isn’t a light enough sleeper to wake up at that kind of stuff. A fact he is grateful for. So he puts the bag of groceries down, gently, on the counter, and turns the light on over the sink while he loosens his tie. Or more like yanks it off. The uniform at that job is seriously not his style, but you take what you can get.

Across the room, where their bed is tucked up into the corner, Bri is asleep. Thank Christ. He would be concerned if she weren’t. While he gets out of his work clothes, he looks at her in bed— she’s peaceful, and looks comfortable, and he kind of wants for a second to just crawl into bed with her, but if he does that, he’ll never get anything done in time, and she’ll wake up to a normal old morning. With nothing special. On her birthday.

She doesn’t deserve that.

When he’s finished changing, it’s 3:41 Apple time. The morning is young. He sneaks a kiss to the top of her head and pulls the covers a little higher over her shoulders, then slides across the room in his socks, back to the kitchen side of the apartment.

Sure, he’s great at fuck-ups. But he’s not going to let this one be a bust.

It’s a quick three hours.

He blames executive dysfunction. Time passes too quickly when he’s on a crunch, literally every time. He starts with her card, which he bought a few days ago— writes it out, seals it into its envelope, and weighs it down with the corner of one of her vases, which he fills with water and puts the flowers in. It’s glass-blown, psychedelic colors; she made it in the glass studio junior year at Kiersey, and it followed them to New York.

With that done, he gets all his ingredients out for breakfast. He can’t start cooking at 4 in the morning, but he can get ready— a bowl out on the counter, their one good frying pan on the griddle, dry ingredients for pancakes measured out. He’s not the most versatile cook in the world, but he makes a mean Kraft Dinner, and this, too, he can do— birthday cake pancakes. With sprinkles. It’s Bri’s favorite breakfast.

He doesn’t know how it winds up being 6:30. He loses time, doing all of this and also nothing at all. He’s two and a half Red Bull deep, mixing up the actual pancake batter, when Bri’s alarm tone across the room pulls him out of his haze.

“Shit,” he hisses, and nearly knocks over his frying pan. It’s 6:30 already? The kitchen is a mess, and he’s been stuck in the distractible part of his brain for the better half of the past two hours, and now he looks like he’s made a huge mess, and—

The alarm stops going off, and he hears the mattress shift. He’s rinsing off the questionable spatula he’s been using to mix the batter in the sink when he hears her voice. “Babe?”

“Hey— hey, good morning.” He turns, and puts his back to the counter, like it’ll hide the actual disaster he’s created. “Happy birthday,” he adds. “Did you sleep okay?”

Bri is sitting up halfway in bed, and she doesn’t answer his question. “What are—” She yawns, and holds a hand to her mouth, which is really fucking cute, the way her eyes get all wrinkled up like this, and he just— loves her, and wishes he weren’t so useless, wishes he could give her the world. When she finishes her sentence, her voice is raspy. That’s cute, too. “What’re you doing over there?”

“I’m, uh.” And busted. He might as well own up to the mess. “Well, I realize now that it looks like a bomb went off in here, but don’t worry; I’ll fix it. I was just— well, breakfast. I’m making breakfast. But it’s not ready yet. It will be. Promise.” He lets all his breath out at once, then tries a grin. “But did you? Sleep okay?”

Again, she doesn’t answer the question. Instead, she swings her legs off the side of the bed, and gets up to walk across the room. He meets her halfway, as she’s combing back her hair, a blonde, wavy, bedhead-y and beautiful mess. She’s in pajama shorts and a tank top, and he may be sleep-deprived and totally useless, but he is the luckiest guy on this planet. “How long’ve you been up?” she asks.

He rests his hands, gently, on her waist, and looks down to meet her eyes, which are hazy with sleep but always so fucking pretty. “I… don’t know if you would love the answer to that question,” he replies, because she’d see right through him even if he wanted to lie about it.

She smiles, but it’s a sympathetic expression, like she can see the Red Bull coursing through his veins or some shit like that. “Answer anyway.”

“Um.” Okay, busted. For real this time. While she hooks her arms around his neck, he tries to gather an explanation. “Okay, so I may not have slept, but hear me out, okay? I wanted to make sure I had stuff in a row so that when you woke up, it’d all be good for you, since I know we kinda have, like, a limited window here, and I didn’t want you to just have to eat, like, peanut butter toast on your birthday, right? Like, that would suck, and also, I was already up because of work, and I had stuff to do anyway, so basically, I didn’t, uh, I didn’t sleep at all, but on the bright side, there is pancake batter ready for you, and I promise I’m gonna clean up all the cooking shit ASAP because I know it looks like a war zone in this kitchen right now—”

“Reid.”

He stops. Her voice is gentle, and she’s smiling— it’s not the pity smile anymore, but just a regular smile. She threads her fingers in the hair at the back of his neck. “Sorry,” he breathes, almost instinctively. “Sorry. That was so much. You just woke up. Hi. I love you. Happy birthday. You look really hot right now.”

Bri laughs, and leans up, on tiptoe, until her forehead is right on his. “Reid,” she repeats, even more gently, and he lets out all his breath again, closes his eyes. “Take a deep breath.”

“Sorry. I’m sorry.” He tries to do as she says. It’s really not hard to breathe; he just forgets that’s a necessary bodily task from time to time. No big whoop. “I promise I’ll clean it up. And I’ll make the pancakes, and— wait, shit!” The realization hits him all at once, and his stomach sinks. “Shit. Fuck. I don’t think we have whipped cream.”

“Whipped cream?” Bri asks, and she sort of laughs, like she’s confused, but this is very bad, because that’s a necessary part of any balanced pancake breakfast, right?

“Fuck,” he repeats, and then groans, bumping his forehead against hers lightly. “Fuck, babe; I’m so sorry. I knew I was forgetting something. I can go out, though. Maybe while you shower? I can get it on the corner—”

“Babe,” Bri says, and it occurs to him that he has once again forgotten to breathe. But when he meets her eyes again, she’s smiling, kind of laughing, and she shakes her head. “Shut up.”

“What?” He blinks. His glasses fog up a little, with how close their faces are, and he squints through them toward her. “I really will go out and get it. What are birthday pancakes without whipped—”

Bri slides her hands up to either side of his face, and she shakes her head again. “Just shut up and kiss me, okay?”

The pit leaves his stomach, and he stops in his tracks. “Oh,” he says, and then laughs, too. “Okay. I can do that.”

It’s a kiss that stops the racing in his brain, which it really always does; she just knows how to do that by existing. It becomes two, and then three, and when they pull apart, Reid can breathe normally again.

“You didn’t have to stay up all night because of me,” she tells him, voice still gentle, eyes still on him.

“I’m sorry,” he groans. “I didn’t really— I mean, I really didn’t want you to have a lame morning.”

“Well, that was very sweet of you,” she replies. Her eyes are catching the sunrise light that edges in through the window. He could get distracted by that. By her body. By every freckle on her face. He is, after all, easily distractible. “But,” Bri adds, “as long as my morning has you in it, I promise you, there’s nothing lame about it.”

He laughs, and kind of feels sheepish, like he might be blushing. “Okay.” He doesn’t deserve her, but he’ll take her at her word.

“C’mere.” She pulls him down for another kiss, and, yeah, this he can do. The apartment is way too small, and he is a human disaster, but she loves him anyway, for some reason he still can’t figure out, and he’ll never stop being grateful for that.

“Thank you,” she says, when they pause to breathe again. “I’m excited for pancakes.”

“I’ll make them good,” he assures her, and she laughs.

“I know you will,” she replies, and then smiles with half her mouth, so her one dimple shows, and that is fucking adorable. Holy Christ. He might be sleep-deprived, but if looks could kill… “But,” she adds, with that smirk still lingering, “not yet.”

“Not yet?” he echoes, and blames the sleep deprivation for how slow the realization is. “Right, yeah. Because you should shower, right? Get ready for work?”

“I think I have a distinct amount of time before I actually have to be ready for work,” she replies, and ohhhh. Oh. Okay.

This, too, he can do.

“I think I understand you,” he tries.

Bri winks. “You definitely understand me,” she says, and then grabs him by the hand and pulls him back toward their bed. “And plus, it’s my birthday.”

He almost makes a birthday suit joke, and then decides that puns are not an effective method of seduction today. Not that Bri really needs seducing. Right this second, anyway.

“I’m so honored,” he says, instead, and grins when she pushes him down to sit on the edge of the mattress. He holds her by the waist and waits, still smirking. “You mean to say you want me to be your present?”

“Something like that,” she replies, with a shrug, and then pushes him so he falls backwards, and he gets exactly three seconds to laugh at the ceiling before she’s kissing him and he gets to move on to something much, much better than rambling about his failures as a boyfriend in the middle of the kitchen.

Breakfast can wait.

#sappy prompts #breid #kiersey college #the insanely cool reid burke #ficlet #my writing #bri doesn't have a tag yet but #that's okay #mel writes

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joe-young-stories · 3 years

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A Week.

Hey, new to tumblr. This is something I wrote in an enclosed, dodgy Christian community in 2018.

The last time I saw Dad in person I was seventeen, and I’d either just finished my A-levels or I was halfway through them. I’d seen him a year before, for Grandad’s funeral. After we’d got home from the wake I’d nicked a crate of Guinness, and thrown up on my suit. I’d thrown up all over the guest bed as well, and I’d left all the empty cans in the waste paper basket. I told my dad that the emotional stress of the funeral must have affected me, and I didn’t really give a shit about the fact that he knew.

This time it was summer, and it was that one week of the British summer that is actually scorching hot. Dad was waiting for me at Oxford train station for my visit. Visa Skank was there too. Visa Skank is my dad’s Russian wife, and perhaps she married him for a visa or perhaps she really loves him. I’ve never actually had anything against her. It was rude, offensive, calling her Visa Skank, but it made me feel really savage and clever back then. This day at Oxford train station she was in her late forties, and she was wearing this shimmer- shimmer peach linen halter top harem pants combo thing with a dainty cream pashmina and a big floppy straw hat. She was basically just easy mockery.

We went straight from the station to this ultra quaint Riverside pub/restaurant garden. I had Peronis. I had a burger too. We didn’t really have a conversation because Visa had seen a picturesque riverside photo opportunity, and she had my dad take pictures of her next to a drainage sluice for almost an hour, at different angles and filter settings. At the end we walked back through the pub to get to the car and she started draping herself mystically around rustic beams and cosy fireplaces, or sat herself next to like, napkin dispensers that pleased her. And my dad took more pictures. I just wanted to get back to the house. I don’t remember too much more from the meal.

In the daytimes that followed I fell into a routine. Dad would wake up late (his teaching job at the schools wasn’t on) and he might mooch about or he might go into Oxford, or he might just go to Headington High Street. Visa Skank had a busy social schedule attending a young mum’s social club in the Florence Park Cafe. She would spend a lot of time there. I would wake up and take a walk into Central Oxford. And I would stop for a pint in the White Horse, where we used to go for Lunch when I was little. In town I would walk the old streets around the Radcliffe Camera, and this was back when I had academic ambition before I stopped caring about most things, and the scholarly atmosphere excited me. I walked past the cathedral boys’ school – my first school—and into the Eagle and Child, or the Kings Arms, or the Turf Tavern. I would read Franz Kafka stories or Iris Murdoch novels or I’d listen to pretentious students talk shit and praise myself for being more intelligent than them. After a few pints I’d saunter back over Magdelen Bridge and back up towards the house in Headington.

Dad’s house had changed a lot over the years. The retro porn PC used to be in the dining room, and all my 9 year old self used to do at my dad’s was either play SimCity on that computer or watch Dad’s porn. He’d archived literally thousands of pictures, all categorised according to hair/boobs/race etc. Albums of particular stars. I got up early at that age, and if you were proper stealth about it could get up with the dawn and watch a four second clip of a woman getting pleasured by a mechanised shoe buffer. Only if you were stealth though. The computer screen could be seen from the stairs via the dining room mirror. You had to listen for footsteps. God forbid that Visa or even Grandad would walk in. View me wanking it to Dad’s shoe buffer porn.

Now though the house layout was different. Grandad had been a cantankerous twat since Nan died, and all he ever did was sit in the living room watching cartoons and chat shows. GMTV, Pokemon, Digimon, Homes under the Hammer. That was all I ever saw him do on visits to my dad’s. I left him to it.

But he started losing control of his faculties, and Dad and I would walk in from the pub to a stray smell of nappies, the CBBC channel playing in the background. His osteoporosis got worse. The last time he was alive I was seventeen and he’d been moved to a hospice. He was half asleep next to his colostomy bag but he murmured a greeting and a goodbye. The three of us, Grandad, Dad and me, sat in near silence for approximately fifteen minutes. “Good to see you, Grandad,” I said to him as I was leaving. Grandad had written “to a very impressive grandson” on my birthday card seven months previously.

While Grandad was dying his house was being renovated. The dining room and kitchen had been knocked together into this rustique farmhouse experience, with a big beaten up pine table, a pine dresser and a freshly installed aga. An aga in a nineteen thirties semi. There were a lot of wholesome wicker baskets bought in and gooseberry jam jars were placed in them for effect. Next door the garage was knocked down and a den/conservatory/stargazing lounge/music studio was built. The living room, where Grandad watched all the kids TV, and which I was told was always going to be “His Space” had had all the carpets ripped out and new sofas put in. Floor to ceiling bookshelves covered every wall, and they were all full of this intelligentsia Russian shit no one read. The retro porn PC was upstairs in Dad’s bedroom now, so after I got back from Oxford that last week I’d sit in the conservatory on my laptop. Sometimes if my dad was around I’d bring up an attractive female friend’s Facebook profile and wait for him to ask me about it. He’d talk about organic food and hand picking your own raspberries, and how Russian customs and traditions were the best way to live. But most of those afternoons he was upstairs in his bedroom checking his email, which took about two hours and was a pretty full-on activity for him. If Visa was at home she’d make still life displays from Kitsch crap she found in charity shops. And she’d do photoshoots. Most of the time she was out though. Presumably with the young mums.

When I was downstairs on my own I would drink from the many, many bottles available on the farmhouse shelf. I never drank in front of Dad, but I’d never bother hiding how drunk I was getting either. A little bit of gin, little bit of vodka, whiskey, white rum.

I’d always done this. When I was about twelve, thirteen, fourteen I’d go through Dads bedroom and raid his wardrobe. I’d find his extensive magazine stash and his books on “Tantric Passion”, “The Multi Orgasmic Man”, “Make Her see you Mean Commitment”. I’d find the hamper full of Bombay Sapphire bottles; I never questioned the water bottles full of urine next to his bed. I wasn’t subtle. I’d try and incite his scorn, his discipline, his parental authority. I’d find glow in the dark condoms in his bedside drawers, and I’d take them out of the packets and leave them under his pillow like a treasure hunt. I would neck a bottle of chardonnay, refill it with tap water and leave it in the fridge for him to find. He’d look at the bottle, look at me, deliberate and stammer “I must have rinsed it out for recycling and put it back on autopilot.” I don’t think he knew me well enough to confront me. He once drove me back to mums with me throwing up ass the way down the M40, and we both agreed that I must have eaten some “ropey” quiche.

I didn’t want Dad to parent me anymore; I just didn’t really care. So while Dad was upstairs checking his email I’d access the WiFi and watch naked men beat each other, and I’d masturbate and drink gin. I think on the Tuesday of that week he found me full-on passed out in the stargazing conservatory, sleeping it off. Later on he’d said something about travelling being exhausting, especially across London, and it always took a few days for the mind to properly relax on holiday. I agreed.

In the evenings we’d go out to a pub, the Vicky Arms or The Chestnut or something. I would tell Dad what A levels I was doing. I’d namedrop attractive female friends quite a lot, and talk about parties I went to with them. I’d wait for him to be like, “Are they pretty?”, “Are they into you?”, “Like yeah, get in, my son!”, “Well done, boyo!” and things like that. Visa would come with us. She’d sit there in peach tracksuit bottoms and some kind of burgundy flamenco/matador top, and she would say things like, “Never microwave food because it changes the molecules. Did you know this? We go through a recipe book and you will find meals you would like to try.” We might order popcorn from behind the bar. Visa might demand a photo shoot of her next to an inspiring sunset or whatever.

At home Dad and Visa would go to bed in Grandads old room. Nans room, now the guest bedroom, was being fitted with a “Roman balcony” so I slept on a blow up bed in the living room with all the Russian volumes. I’d drink more whiskey and watch a comedy show about teenage lesbians.

That was it, really. The last week I saw my dad was fairly uneventful. Mundane. If it wasn’t for the fact that it was the last time I saw him I doubt I would have remembered it

Only two events stand out in particular. On the Thursday of that week Dad was playing at a jazz and tango concert at a bar/club in Wantage. He did concerts like that to keep money coming in when the schools weren’t on. Visa took tango lessons down at the community centre, and she’d met a new friend and tango partner called Allan. He had had a stroke and divorce in a five year period and had taken early retirement, so I was told. So I was briefed. Briefed why? I didn’t care.

Allan met us at the house. We all sat about having a back garden beer and then Dad and I set off for Wantage. Allan’s and Visa came later, in Allan’s car, which he could still drive all post stroked up apparently. We had another pint in a pub in Wantage. Dad introduced me to the concept of a “Session Beer”. Advice I have never followed.

Dad gave me money for the evening and then left me to my own devices. I sat on the balcony and drank a lot of Stella, and from my vantage point I could see Dad playing onstage. I could see Visa and Allan as well, and she had her head on his shoulder and he was holding her close around the lower back. This didn’t look particularly tango-ey, but Visa had told me on one pub evening that tango was more about feeling than steps. “Feeling. Yes?” she had said with gusto. This was the passion of the dance I was watching, then. Dad had told me in the car that tango was Allan’s hobby, it’s what got him out the house, like his physio. I looked at Dad, and he was playing some sassy chords on the piano, watching the two of them become one with the dance. He didn’t do anything else. He just sat there, watching them get on with it. I finished one of my Stellas, and later on I thought to myself that he looked like a drooping bunch of flowers in a vase, half dead. A bit sad, maybe. A bit lacking. I was quite proud of myself for thinking of that. It felt very grown up.

Two days later we were having a back garden beer, Dad and I. The garden had changed, and where a swingset once stood there was now a very wholesome vegetable plot. Beyond that was a washing line. It was one of those washing lines with one pole in the ground, and it folded out like an upside down pyramid. You could spin it around for ease of pegging/unpegging. I looked at the washing line and remembered my eight year old self playing by it. I had been playing with a football. I was staying with him for a few weeks or so over the summer. I was out there, by myself, with the football. But I liked to pretend I was playing with all the other children I knew from school. Kids who were actually busy with their own friendship groups or who called me poofty boy by the wildlife pond. But when I was playing with them by myself they were all like, “I did not see this coming! We have not appreciated your serious skills! Hey guys, check out this Baller!” and none of them called me a poofty boy by the wildlife pond.

I had devised a game where you had to throw the ball into the opened up washing line to score a point. Dad came outside just as I was about to land the sickest shot from ten feet away, the shot which was going to blow George and his gang away, and was going to make Sadia and Carrie-Ann think I was total boyfriend material. He asked me if I wanted anything to eat.

And I really don’t know what came over me, but I said something along the lines of “I’m playing a game. We have to get the ball off each other and get it in the net. Do you want to play?”

“Oh, right!” was something like he said “Yes alright then, I will”. I’d never played a game with Dad before, and we were both a bit hesitant. Like, do we just…start, or what? I chucked the ball at the line and missed, and he grabbed it. We ran around the garden, playing the game. He scored a point. I scored a point. At one point he wrestled me to the ground to get the ball off me, and then helped me up. I remember laughing and smiling, being out of breath. I was tense, too. How did things like this come to a logical end? Did, like, the session finish? Was there a way for this to end without Dad having to just be really rude? Like: “I’m sorry Joe, but I need to stop doing this at this point and go back to my day. You are welcome to continue though.” How did it work? After approximately fifteen minutes it mercifully started raining, and we went inside. It was the only time we ever played the game.

Sitting and having a beer with my dad that last week was the last time I looked at the garden, or indeed spent any time with him. Halfway through our drink Visa came out of the stargazing conservatory doors, and she was wearing a floor length lacy white gown, a white bonnet and silky white gloves. She was carrying a large wicker hamper, and she put the hamper down and pulled out a silver teapot. “I am English lady at tea,” she said, and she raised the teapot in the air. Then she laid the patio table for a country manor high tea, and started demanding a photoshoot. I went inside.

The next day I was due to go home. I woke up that morning to find that I’d drunk too much and pissed the blow up bed. I put my soggy boxers in a plastic bag, and I covered the damp sheet with my duvet and left it to fester.

I hardly spoke to dad after that week. There was no reason to most of the time. I rang him twice to ask for money, once to say merry Christmas can I have some money and once to tell him I’d just left rehab. In 2018 I had written to him to tell him he was a cunt and I wanted to burn his house down. “Past wounds” with my Father had become a significant part of my “Life Story” by that point, and I thought that sending such a horrible letter might activate a Life Event in some way, some dramatic finale.

Dad has always had his settings such that I can’t find him on Facebook, so I have to log in as my mum to see his profile. Him and Visa quote Oscar Wilde and Shakespeare sonnets on each other’s pages. Visa’s profile has about 64 photo albums. They’re all called things like “Casserole dishes on the patio”, “Beauty In Autumn”, “Sensuous mermaid has adventure”. Her name isn’t actually Visa Skank. All the photo albums are silly and innocuous. When I’m drunk, or self pitying, or feeling like a victim, or all of the above I sometimes find myself thinking about the game me and Dad played with the washing line and the football.

#writers on tumblr #writers #short story #story #childhood

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phantastictragedy · 4 years

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Brighter Than The Stars

I impulsively wrote this so it’s not very good.

Pairing: Intrulogical (Main) there’s like some Moxiety and Roceit but only if you squint and it’s only implied.

Uhhhhh basically soulmate AU where when you meet ur soulmate u see the world in color but until then u see in black and white. Also like human AU. ALSO Remus is a painter/artist and logan is a broke college student tyvm

Logan did not mind that he couldn’t see the color in the world, it did not affect the way he lived his life from day to day. As long as he could get his work done and pull all-nighters studying for tests in black and white then that was really all that mattered to him. Of course, he could not deny that he wasn’t sometimes bothered seeing his friends around him bragging about how ‘this color would fit nice’ or ‘oh isn’t this just so pretty??’ Yeah, sure, maybe he’d wonder about how the world looked and how the stars may look with a different colored background behind them-- but he didn’t let it be a thing that distracted him from his studies.

Chewing on the eraser of the pencil he had in his hand, and keeping his other hand holding his head annoyed, he stared at his first draft of an essay that was nowhere near being done. “How can I possibly write 20 pages for this?” He mumbled under his breath frustratedly.

“Talking to yourself, again?” A hand was placed on Logan’s shoulder for a brief second before it was off and his taller friend Virgil was standing in front of him. He had his backpack on and a large cup of coffee in his hand, so Logan knew he had either woken up late or was about to finish some work he had procrastinated on.

Logan glanced up at the boy who stood above him and shot him a slightly annoyed look on his face at the comment, “Huh-- doesn’t coffee make your anxiety worst?” Then he went back to writing a random sentence that he had thought of, not really necessary to his essay, but it would probably take some space away from the page.

“Alright, alright I see now that you aren’t in the mood to joke around, but listen. Remember that time I went to that party alone because you agreed to go it and wanted to bring me, but then canceled last second and I couldn’t escape it and then YOU said that you were sorry and would make it up to me one day when I needed it?” Virgil said suspiciously, he ended it off with a smile in hopes Logan would not go back on his word.

“Ah, yes. How could I forget when it is something you always bring up when you need something?” Logan sighed and placed his pencil down on the paper that was making him feel like he was losing his mind. “Go on, what is it you want me to do?”

Virgil rolled his eyes at the comment and let out a sigh, “Okay, Roman’s brother is having a little art gallery. We are all going, to support him. His art is super good-- he’s a little weird and loud and uh-- offensive. But-- Hey, don’t look away from me, Logan! Listen-- okay we know it’s hard for an independent artist to make it and we just want as many people to support him and be there if the night goes wrong. So, please go with us??”

Logan groaned but pursed his lips and thought for a second. At least the favor wasn’t like the usual ones where it was just because of Virgil’s laziness, or his inability to communicate. This was a nice thing, and it seemed like a pretty easy task-- of course, he’d have to push some studies aside. “Alright, just give me a location and a time.”

“Awesome! I’ll text you everything. Now I’ll let you get back to torturing yourself with trying to figure out how you’ll fill these empty pages.” Virgil grinned and nudged Logan before walking off.

----

Logan was running a bit late, not super, unacceptable late; but a late that he would be embarrassed about. Despite his more fancy outfit of a black turtle neck with a dark blue suit jacket and matching pants (of course, the color isn’t something that actually mattered to him considering he couldn’t see it)-- his messy, dark brown hair was doing its own thing and was evidence of his lack of time to get dressed. Being late was the worst.

For how Virgil had spoken about the event, he had expected it to be empty-- but it was actually decently full. Logan pushed some messy strands of hair away from his face before he looked around to find his familiar group, which didn’t take to long when he heard...

“Nerd! Come over here, you were supposed to be the first one, aren’t you the responsible one?” Logan groaned and shot his head towards where an overly fancy-dressed Roman stood with all of his friends.

Logan made his way to the small group before speaking, “My apologies, I got a bit carried away with my studies. I hope I did not miss too much.”

“Oh, don’t mind Roman, he’s just mad he wanted to be casually late, but ended up being the first,” Dee said shooting Logan a grin.

Roman pursed his lips and let out a groan, “Ugh- you don’t have to tell everyone that I was first! It really is not that important, sure I wanted to show up and make a fancy entrance, sure I wanted everyone to shout my name, but I think we should take note of how much of a supportive brother I am.”

“Ah, I’m sure that was your whole intention from the start, being supportive.” Before Roman could interrupt Logan’s sarcastic comment he went on, “So, where is the Artist anyways? I’d love to put a face to the artwork.” Logan said looking around to see the paintings hanging neatly on the wall-- well to say neat was generous. They were actually scattered, but somehow it had made them all the more appealing-- it was nice to look at everything.

“Pftt-- he’s talking to that big crowd over there, if you want to meet him it seems like you’re going to be waiting for a while,” Virgil said before going back to his phone.

“Or you could go back in time and arrive first, then you for sure would have met Remus.” Roman grinned at the nerdy boy.

Logan rolled his eyes annoyed.

“As I said, don’t pay attention to him. His pride is hurt right no-”

“I am a supportive brother, Dee!” Roman said placing a hand over Dee’s mouth, just noting from the taller boys’ eyes, it was noticeable that he was smiling.

Most of the people had left seeing as though the art gallery was ending. Patton and Virgil were sat outside so Virgil could have some time away from people and Dee and Roman had gone to get the group some food. Logan was still staring at the paintings on the wall, most of them had been sold, according to Roman. That really surprised nobody after seeing the paintings.

There was one thing that was on Logan’s mind and that was wondering how the paintings must look with color. He wondered if he’d missed any details, or if the meaning would change, maybe this paint depicted fear to him but was actually happy. He sighed, eyes glued on the painting.

“You know? I think that one is sold, but I could always make you another one.” A voice he didn’t recognize said. He assumed it was from Remus.

Still, Logan’s eyes barely moved from the painting, “I was just making sure I didn’t miss a detail. Although if you had any art that didn’t get sold, I’d be happy to buy that.”

A soft chuckle escaped his lips before he sighed contently, “I’m Remus.”

The sound that escaped Remus’ lips made Logan’s heart do twirls in his chest, he’d never felt that before, he especially had never felt the weird tickling sensation in his stomach. “I’m Logan.” He eventually turned to look at Remus and smiled.

Nobody ever tells you how it happens. It’s truly hard to explain and it’s said it happens differently to everyone. Some will say it happens in a snap and it’s like walking in on a surprise party just for you. Some say it very slowly starts, from the center of your view to the end. Some people say that they don’t even remember how or when it happened and they shock themselves when they realize it happens-- of course it takes a couple of seconds.

For Logan-- the taller man standing before him was the only thing in color, he was pale, was not dressed super casual-- like black shirt sweatpants casual, and had his hair put up into a small messy bun, bangs holding a gray color. Then slowly after the world began to gain a tint, and then it’s full color. He stood in shock for a couple of seconds, staring at Remus completely confused and waiting for a just as confused reaction from him.

“You alright?” Remus said slightly tilting his head.

“I-- are you-- not seeing this too?” Logan said 100% losing his proper composure.

“Yeah-- I see you look like you’re about to be sick at my art gallery. I hope you had nothing gross to eat because it will be a bad time for all of us. Not me though, don’t worry I don’t judge, be as gross as you want to be here.” Remus spoke so casually that Logan was sure he was losing his mind.

“You-- you’re my soulmate.” Was all he managed to get out, as he ran his fingers through his messy hair.

“I’m your wha--” Remus squinted his eyes for a couple of seconds before the widened and he looked at Logan, “Oh my gosh-- wait a minute-” The taller boy whispered, he looked over at his paintings, not half bad. “God-- I hope that is the real color of blood.”

The comment caused a small laugh to escape Logan’s lips. “You’re not what I imagined.”

“Is that good?” Remus asked subtly moving a bit closer to the shorter boy.

Logan thought for a second, he looked at Remus and examined his beautiful green eyes, they were so vibrant and held admiration in them. Never did he think that someone would be staring at him the way he was being stared at now..it made him feel-- warm.

“Yes.”

After a week of spending time with Remus, his soulmate, he had found that it was true what Virgil had said. He was, in fact, a little weird, definitely offensive, and for sure loud. Logan loved it. It was nice to have someone pull him away from his studies and have fun with him-- while also in some way keeping him from worrying about them.

Today was no exception, Logan was sat at his desk when he heard knocking on his window and then the loud and quick sliding of it opened only to reveal Remus in all his glory. He truly looked like the cutest robber to Logan, with his black ripped jeans and green shirt that somehow perfectly matched his eyes-- Remus fully hopped in and fixed his hat that seemed to have fallen and completely covered his eyes, when his vision returned he was met to find his soulmate smiling up at him.

“Oh, Hello! Hope I’m not interrupting anything.” Remus smiling widely.

“You know, you’re allowed to use the door. There is nothing stopping you from using the door.” Logan said letting out a content sigh.

“Oh what’s next, you’d like me to do pee in the bathroom?”

“Yeah- I’ve been meaning to talk to you about th-”

“ANYWAYS-- we should get going. I want to show you already!” Remus said leaning down and scooping his boyfriend up, adding in an extra swirl.

Logan let out a semi loud noise of surprise, that was a new thing. “Wait-- I don’t know if I can tonight, Remus. We were out all yesterday and I--”

“Hey.” Remus said calmly looking into his soulmates pretty blue eyes, he swore they looked like the night sky. “You’re going to be okay, you’re super smart and I think you deserve such a long break after constantly breaking your spine to do work. Please, tonight, come with me.”

Logan knew from the second Remus came into sight through that window, he would leave with him. It was just a skill the taller boy had gained in the last week. “Fine, but can we please use the door.”

The walk to the small park near where Logan lived was full of random questions that Remus would ask whenever he saw something around him. Logan, of course, would answer leaving his soulmate to making big impressed noises. The shorter boy was just glad he had agreed to this, the sky held a gorgeous color that he had never really thought he’d ever see, everything was so much more beautiful. By the time they had gotten there, it was dark.

His thoughts and observations were interrupted when once again he was grabbed, but this time it felt like the arms had let go and he was falling-- which didn’t last long because then Remus grabbed the nerd before he fell and gently laid him against the soft blanket on the floor. “I set this up just for you. I know we haven’t gotten to stargaze and this is what you were looking most forward to doing now that you can see color.”

Before Logan could say something, Remus threw himself next to Logan and wrapped his arm around the nerd, softly pressing his lips against the boy’s cheek and jawline, “You don’t have to thank me, I just want to make you happy.”

Logan turned his face and stared into his soulmate’s eyes, it had felt like time had completely stopped, suddenly looking at the stars wasn’t the most exciting thing. It’s hard to tell if they leaned in at the same time, or maybe it was Logan. One thing is for sure that they both had managed end up in the same place, with their lips gently pressed against each other. It was something that Remus had wanted ever since they’d met, but something Logan insisted they wait on. Suddenly, he wished he hadn’t, he’d wish he’d just did this first.

Remus was, surprisingly, first to pull away, “Does this mean-- that I can start calling you my boyfriend?”

Logan smiled, “Does this mean that’s what you’re asking me to be?”

“If the answer is yes.”

“Yes.”

Silence had fallen over them as they both looked up at the start, fingers intertwined. The stars shined against them and it had truly felt like a spotlight hitting them, allowing them to know that this was real and this was perfect.

The stars were a lot more stunning than he had thought they’d be in front of the dark blue sky, but he’d realized there was something so much better that he didn’t need to wait for night to see.

His world.

#Intrulogical #logan sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #virgil sanders #sanders sides #Soulmate AU #patton sanders #lomus

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