#oof essays essays essays again
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anger, shaved ice, sun, seedling, milky way, baby bottle, red heart for darling Jia!
I'm sorry for only giving the names, I am literally so bad at searching for emojis :))))
Thank you so much for asking, dearest! 🥰 (If someone's interested in the ask game is this one!)
💢 ANGER - what are some habits they have that will take some getting used to?
I think the thing Jia does, and it may get annoying for others, is some obsessive-compulsive rituals that she has, concerning her personal belongings (poor Lydia and Gregor, who live with her in Heljarchen Hall, are doomed to get along with those). For example, she needs her books positioned on her bookshelves strictly by height; she needs her ingredients placed in specific jars and satchels depending on their properties, not to mention her enchanting tower in which she keeps her soul gems on her shelves in a distinct ranking from left to right (from petty to grand soul gems). She is rather hot-tempered and impatient in general, but when someone messes with how she sets her things down and her OCD, she gets genuinely anxious and nervous about it.
🍧 SHAVED ICE - do they still have any objects from their childhood? what significance does it have to them? what would their reaction be if they lost it?
Jia's most prized possession from her childhood is a woolen blanket that has a growing crescent as a golden and silver-stitched embroidery. This blanket was sewn by Jia's mother when she was pregnant with Jia, and its needlework is not at all random. The crescent is Miraak's and Jia's symbol, in which the sun is Jia while the moon is Miraak, and joined together, the growing crescent embodies the First and Last's union on Nirn. She carries this blanket all her life, and she doesn't give it to anyone as it's the only thing she has from her mother, so I can't even imagine how it would be if she'd lose it...
🌱 SEEDLING - what is their most vivid memory from childhood?
I think the most vivid memory from her childhood is her training lessons with the twins and Aela, and later their hunting together (I will describe both of them in detail in the fic). Little Jia was not into the Nordic way of fighting; she preferred studying, cooking, and plucking alchemy ingredients, mixing them all in her cauldron, and practicing alchemy (I would even say that she inherited more of her father's interests than her mother's). So, Vilkas, Farkas, and Aela, as passionate Nordic warriors, practically forced her to train with them - and despite this being a complete nuisance for Jia, she ended up loving their sparring classes - Aela trained her with the bow and shield and was a very stern teacher with Jia's errors, while Vilkas and especially Farkas were way softer with her, and they trained her with the sword!
🌌 MILKY WAY - what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?
Oooh, good question, let me think... Well, Jia was born in my mind at the end of the previous February when I began playing Skyrim again, making a new LDB. And as I thoroughly customized my new character, I somehow made her look both like Nord and Imperial, so I went along with her mixed-blooded origins and started to slowly build her background. The name 'Jia' was inspired by a character in the series 'Euphoria' I used to watch back then, which had the name 'Gia', and it's actually quite close to my own name, hehe. The first first first things I decided about Jia were that she will be Miraak's soulmate and that she will have golden eyes.
🍼 BABY BOTTLE - what are their thoughts on children?
AH, EXCELLENT QUESTION! Jia loves children!!! She adores them with all her heart - their innocence, their jolliness, their inquisitiveness, everything about children makes her beam whole. She would definitely adopt if she was not a Dragonborn, but she has this constant fear that her perilous lifestyle full of enemies and dangers, will put her life or the child's at risk, and she doesn't want to do more harm than good to their soul. She does want to build her own family, and she does want to be a mother though... We shall see if she manages to achieve it someday! 🥰
❤️ RED HEART - their love language(s)?
Unfortunately, Jia isn't very good at expressing her feelings with words (you could say that she suffers from alexithymia), so her love language is mostly practical, offering small or bigger gifts to her close ones. BUT, in some circumstances, when the emotion overwhelms her, and she feels intimate enough, her love is shown through hugs (she is a huge hugger with the ones she holds dear, despite being quite wary of physical contact), and caresses, and she can be truly tender and loving to the person she gives affection to, whether this is Miraak or a friend or a family member!
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Why don't you like Kaito?
*rubs hands together* ok LETS DISSECT! buckle up kids this is gonna be a long one-
i just generally think he’s a kind of unpleasant and kind of annoying character. usually i really like optimistic characters (see kaede🥰) but for kaito in many instances his optimism gets to the point where it’s problematic or overbearing and it makes me grit my teeth.
the two cases that stand out to me in particular are his treatment of shuichi in the fourth class trial and his general treatment of ryoma (ESPECIALLY the latter). him getting mad at shuichi in the fourth class trial for being willing to look through the evidence of gonta being the culprit just makes him come off as a massive hypocrite. you’ve been encouraging shuichi this whole time to always look for the truth, but NOW you’re suddenly not ok with it? girl bye
now i completely get not wanting to believe gonta’s the culprit. it’s clear that no one is happy about that, even shuichi. but if they don’t find the right culprit, they will all DIE. kaito and shuichi both know this, but seemingly shuichi’s the only one who understands it.
but you know what? that’s small potatoes ultimately to how he treats ryoma. (i’d like to highlight @gozo-ban for a sec here because she was the one who brought this to light for me with her posts.)
playing through/watching the game it’s clear that ryoma suffers from suicidal depression due to everything he’s gone through (losing his entire family and lover to the mafia, then being thrown in prison after daring to fight back) and how does kaito respond to ryoma’s depression? by calling him a “moron” and an “idiot”. even after his death.
regardless of whether you like kaito or not this aspect of his character is a genuinely problematic one. he’s talking down for ryoma for the “crime” (i say crime very loosely here) of being depressed and suicidal and no?? just no?? you don’t speak to anyone with mental illness that way. you just don’t. but i guess a lot of ppl don’t see it because ryoma’s one of the more underrated and overlooked characters in the game smh
and don’t even get me started on the sexist remarks he tends to make particularly in the japanese version ughhhh(and yes i’m aware tenko has this problem too but at least she’s enjoyable. to me at least)or how he punched shuichi near the end of chapter 1 for…grieving? idk that’s how i saw it
tldr: kaito is annoying character to me and some aspects of his character are legitimately problematic and should be addressed more
#OOF i did not expect to write a whole ass essay#but there was just a lot i needed to get off my chest#fuck kaito all my homies hate kaito /hj#kaito slander is very much appreciated in this space#again thanks to gozo-ban for bringing the stuff about kaito and ryoma to light#you’re the real hero lol👊🏻#melody’s answers#drv3#danganronpa#kaito momota#long post#melody’s thoughts
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ppl not knowing harris' name n calling him hbomb/bomberguy/hb is so funny to me. its like theyre calling him by his skyrim boss name or something.
#i havent watched the plagiarism video yet but im excited.#ever since he released the oof video a little bit ago#ive been slwoly working my way through a lot of his video essays and game reviews. theyre really good to study/work to#and also his scripts and way he reviews/recaps things is incredibly easy to follow#so im glad hes resurfacing so more ppl can get into him again like i did when the oof video blew up#anyway.#codi.txt
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I am once again thinking about this scene
#cameron! babe! he literally just told you not to be friends with a patient in a way that heavily suggests he's made the same mistake!#we know he's made the same mistake! and we know he will again!#house md#allison cameron#james wilson#wilson babysitting cameron is so so painful every time#the essay i could write about wilson and the impact his job had on him... oof
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silly music ask: 69
serious music ask: 24
69:
you know i had to do it all the time to 'em :3
24:
this is the theme song for one of my fics (the longest one i've written to date, as it happens) and i listen to it a lot while writing -- if anyone's interested, the full fic playlist is here!
#the trashcan speaks#music tag#there's a whole essay in me about 'you are a runner and i am my father's son' from the same wolf parade album#sitting on the same chord for most of the song reflects the narrator's bleakness!!#listen to the chord changes for 'i was a hero // early in the morning' and how they resolve to the desolate bleak tonic again for the bridg#and the KEY CHANGE for 'you are a runner'......#OOF. wow. hi. i'm normal#shoutout to astolat whose drarry amv introduced me to wolf parade
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This is SUPER rushed and semi-edited, but I wrote it in a frenzy bc I just couldn’t stop thinking about sonic movie 3 lmao… so beware?? It’s pretty lengthy lol
(Also sorry in advance bc I might get into a horrible habit of writing a bunch of these)
What the rating for sonic movie 3 could mean for the narrative and which direction the movie could go depending on the rating…
The rating changed from shth05 from the usual ‘E’ (Everyone) to ‘E 10+’ (Everyone 10 and Older), meaning that they were a little more liberated to go into detail about his past and his memories with Maria before she was killed on the Ark. The game further expanded on the darker and more ‘gritty’ perspective of Shadow the Hedgehog. Before it’s release though, shth was meant to be rated T (13 and older) with the initial version containing ‘red blood, violent scenes, and more instances of cursing.’ [(X) and (X)]
Sonic Movie 3 is currently slated for release in December of 2024 (x), but word from the directors and screenwriters have many concerned over how faithful to the games this movie will be because of Maria’s death scene. As well as wanting an accurate portrayal of Shadow the hedgehog for the first time since, debatably his portrayal in Sonic 06, fans look forward to seeing his backstory on the big screen.
Media ratings from the early 2000s were vastly different from the ratings of today. A subtle joke about sex would surely fly over children’s heads and could be aired on a Saturday morning cartoon, but no such thing could happen under today’s scrutinized media.
All of this to say… will Maria Robotnik be shot and killed on screen by an organization mirroring the government? There could be many different routes this option could take, and I list them now:
1.) PG/Heavily Implied Route
2.) PG-13/Realistically pull some punches
3.) Change the narrative completely
I start with what I believe to be the most probable option, based on the creators and writers desire to “incorporate elements from Sonic Adventure 2 and Shadow the Hedgehog.” (X)
Option 1: PG Route. As previously stated within its title, I’m certain of this route because of the options ability to stay within the PG rating and keep the narrative faithful to the games by letting the audience imply, as SA2 and Sonic X has done in the past. Disappointing as this option may be, it manages to stay within the established rating of the movie franchise and continue to stick with the games’ plot. However, a massive problem arises; how to imply such a disturbing and gruesome, but vital event whilst staying within these (frankly restrictive) ratings. I emphasize on the previously used ‘disappointment,’ as the implication may be lost on the general audience and with this loss, comes the loss of the overall theme of organizational workings and the very blunt reality of corrupt military organizations within our society.
And to stay true to both games, I introduce the second (subjectively best) option.
Option 2: Raising the rating from PG to PG-13. With this option, I believe the writers and directors can expand on the potential of both games and re-establish Shadow to his former glory, a character who once had concrete values and beliefs. Knuckles was able to regain his initially established honor and dignity within the latest installment of the movie franchise, as his character (like everyone else’s) had been the victim of flanderization and had been molded to fit more of a Comedic Relief character instead of a nuanced, three dimensional character.
With this new rating, creators have the space to expand on Shadow’s character, more specifically his morals and dilemma therein. In being able to see Maria’s death, and see Shadow at his most violent, the audience gets to understand or even empathize further with his character. An additional benefit to this rating change could be the general audience’s view on Sonic the Hedgehog as an overall franchise. It could inspire the Sonic gaming franchise to potentially follow up on lost possibilities of older games (wishful thinking) or create more nuanced and complex storylines such as what came of SA2.
Option 3: Changing the narrative completely. Objectively the worst option for both the audience and the writers/creators, this option has the writers/creators completely erasing Maria’s death and the corruption of (military) organizations to stay safely within the PG rating. In erasing Maria’s death, Shadow and, his creator, Gerald Robotnik would be stripped of their motivations for vengeance. However with this option, there are also two possible sub-options.
3A.) Maria still dies, not by anyone’s hand, but by her own illness, perhaps during the Raid on the Ark, causing a miscommunication to occur.
3B.) Maria does not exist.
As infuriating as both of these options are, they are very well options that could become Sonic Movie 3’s reality.
For option 3A, Maria dying by her illness would still create motivations for Shadow and Gerald, as the Raid would have ruined all of their work and the blame of GUN would be significantly less than in the original games. Perhaps this option could be better constructed, using the miscommunication to create even more conflict with both Shadow and Gerald Robotnik’s motivations, and Shadow’s final motivations in the game.
However, the worst option of the worst option is 3B. In erasing Maria’s character, Shadow’s very soul and Gerald’s strongest motivator goes with her. Shadow’s character, motivations, and actions all lack a significant reason and he becomes more of an Android than a tragic, empathetic, 3-dimensional character. Gerald Robotnik would become a descendant of Eggman who is just as selfish and egotistical (further taking Eggman’s potential to be seen as someone who strived to do Good as the original Gerald Robotnik did before Maria’s death, but let me get back on track)
With Maria’s erasure, Shadow’s character and Gerald’s reasons become corrupt. Both characters become forgettable and, worst of all, stray the farthest away from the source material, ultimately dooming the movie and possibly the franchise.
Both Sonic movies have done a lot for Sonic as a gaming franchise, and seeing the success of both franchises within the same year is very promising for the Blue Blur. As happy as I’d be to see a rating change, I must stress that I’d be content with whatever they decide to do. They’ve already expressed the want to stay faithful to the source material and we’ve managed to get two successful movies so far, so I’d say we’re in semi?? safe hands from a general audience standpoint.
#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonic movie 3#sonic movie 3 predictions#sonic movie shadow#shadow the hedgehog 2005#sonic essay#sonic writing#can i talk my shit again#I may very We’ll come back to this???#well#might make a new one in the future??? make myself sound less frenzied lol#oof now I feel obligated to throw some fics on this blog too good golly#fuck I might edit or delete this I keep wanting to change shit#delete later#shitposts#smoreal sonic scrolls
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the way people are once again removing all the nuance and moral greyness and complexity out of the last of us, but especially joel miller’s character is kinda concerning lol
#i told myself i wasn't gonna get into the discourse but i was reading through some of the posts and comments in the tlou tag and... oof#like i get it i could write whole essays about my feelings on this story and its characters and the ending ect.#but a lot of people are already getting annoyingly defensive of every single one of joel’s actions#literally stripping him of all of the flaws and complexities and moral greyness that make him such a great character#why are yall turning him into a clean cut selfless hero that did everything right like that's so boring#what’s most frustrating is how people are completely ignoring ellie’s perspective in all of this#some even just pushing her entire character aside in favor of joel#only bringing her or her trauma up when they’re trying to justify something joel did#and treating her like an accessory to his character when you should be reflecting how his actions are gonna affect HER#i hate to break it to yall but if you bring this highly romanticized version of joel into the next season#yall are NOT gonna have a good time#it happened once and it will happen again and i know the inevitable backlash is gonna be twice as bad this time that’s why im concerned#anyway those are just my two cents that no one asked for if you see me posting any type of discourse again pls shoot me lol#and please don't think i'm a joel hater either those people are just as annoying they're just in the minority i think especially on tumblr#why can't we just enjoy joel for the morally grey complex and honestly fucked up and tragic man that he is#it's like joel defender this joel hater that let's just be joel enjoyers#or joel lovers that'd be me because i love him with all my heart 🥺#especially hbo joel like his characterization was so good he just hits different and honestly i prefer him over game joel#and i do enjoy the occasional ''joel is innocent/did nothing wrong' memes/jokes i think they're hilarious and ultimately harmless#(also the joel/abby memes but that's another story sjafhksaf)#this was more about the people writing almost whole ass dissertations or actively starting arguments in their fervent need to defend joel#okay im done lol#lucy rants#i tried to keep this little rant as spoiler free as possible because there's no way in hell im tagging this asjfknsa this was more for me#if you read this whole thing through the end: hi i hope your day was good and if it wasn't i hope it's great tomorrow :)
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Its 5am, but the essay is done and turned in... School really makes me think joining an evil murder cult might not be a bad second career choice..
#sweet holy hell save me papa Jo#Im so stressed and I wanna cry#and the semester hasnt even started yet#the worst part is my program isnt a regular program so whenever I have to write anything it becomes *A BIG DEAL*#I struggle so much with academic writing and the teacher I really loved who taught me how to work and get around that fear of writing#he passed away last spring and its been a struggle to do it again#oof this got sad...#but hey! at least this essay is done
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Chill's ramblings about the DCA fandom and personal feelings and issues towards TSAMS (both positive an negative):
(I'm writing this like an essay but treating it like a diary, so if I jump from subject to another, it is because I am just typing as the thoughts hit my head. Sorry for being so wordy.)
I simply feel like I need to write my thoughts down, so why not share them with you. Maybe you can validate my feelings or something, I don't know.
Intro:
So, oof, I got a fic rec from @thedenofravenpuff and I'm loving it so much I really wanna draw fan art for it...
But the problem is that it's a TSAMS fanfic and I've sworn to my name I'll never draw anything related to the show because that will make me engage with a part of the fandom I'm not comfortable with.
My biggest issue with TSAMS:
I have such complicated feelings towards the show and its fanbase and I do not wish to make my life and work more difficult because of it as it already is.
My own work and characters are already constantly being compared to TSAMS. When I first introduced Solar to my fic, he was constantly being referred to Eclipse from TSAMS. Now that the show had a character with THE SAME NAME, it has been even worse.
Dolldrop Moon has been compared to Lunar. Even though the dolldrops existed before the youtube channel was even created (and Lunar made his debut much later).
The biggest issue I've had has always been the fanbase, that takes the show as the canon for Sun and Moon from FNAF and uses it as an excuse to harass shippers like me because they think Sun and Moon are brothers.
I've first handedly seen the damage the fanbase has done to some of my friends who draw, or have previously drawn art for the show besides their own AUs and personal headcanons of Sun and Moon as lovers. I'm sorry to tag you, but @kriimhild and @fablekitty : I've seen how the immature side of the show's fans have treated you, I am so terribly sorry you've had to defend yourselves over and over again for things that were not meant to be mixed up.
I have posted some ideas of a possible Animutant Moon and Sun forming a polyamorous relationship with Solar in the future of "My Dear Daffodil" on my personal/adult Twitter account. Someone kept commenting on my posts that I was glorifying incest, because Sun and Moon were brothers and Solar was their cousin.
The post had "Animutant" in it. Not "TSAMS". These comments came from a person saying they were 19 in their profile. So it's not just kids who can't tell not every fanwork is about TSAMS. It's starting to be some adults too.
Vice versa I've had another person comment on my very clearly SFW Twitter how they're following me because I am an adult artist who draws TSAMS incest. I have never drawn TSAMS art. I ship Sun and Moon, but they're never related with family bond, because I love presenting them as lovers.
Why I ship Sun and Moon:
Because I am a hopeless romantic. I love romantic love. Every single story I write is always about love.
The only exception to this is the Poppy Playtime comic I am doing. But even then, I was originally planning for a romantic love between Dogday and the Player. Yet, I decided to leave it, and keep the relationship open for any type of representation the reader themselves will prefer.
I used to watch The Sun and Moon Show when it first started airing. I loved their playthroughs. I had a big distaste for them calling each other brothers, as well as some of the first "lore" videos they had. My biggest issue at the time was how Moon treated Sun, though. As someone who grew up with an abusive sibling, it sometimes just hit a bit too hard at home.
But it got better after Eclipse and Lunar appeared. Moon was more caring, and I started to really like his character development. There was one episode where Sun explained to Lunar that he and Moon had simply just "decided" to be brothers, despite not having a canonical relationship.
This actually made me really happy. Because the Old Moon was aroace, the love he felt was simply never meant to be romantic, but platonic. And by making Sun his brother by choice clearly indicated that Sun was always the one he loved the most - in a way that was suitable for aromantic person like him.
And it really made me enjoy the show for a while. Sun is my favourite character, and despite not always liking the way the show presents him, I always feel so much love for him, no matter the AU he is in. So I loved that Moon loved him more than anything, even if it was just platonic. Because I've always been under the impression that the canon Moon loves Sun, and is only under a virus to protect him. For me, the best part of any Sun and Moon AU is to know that Sun is the most important thing to Moon.
Why I stopped watching TSAMS:
And then that Moon I had really started to like, who loved Sun more than anyone else but just platonically, died.
It hurt so much I simply stopped watching the show. I've watched a few episodes here and there after that, but I am having a hard time liking the show the same as I did before.
Partially it's because of the fanbase. Partially it's because I don't find the lore very interesting and some of the stuff a bit repetitive. Partially it's because I am scared to see Sun eventually crumble up into madness, because he has been through so much.
I like the New Moon. He is funny and nice, what I've seen. His relationship with Solar has been interesting, and I genuinely hoped they would've been able to take the romantic route after Moon said he wasn't sure if he was aroace anymore. But as I said, I've only watched a few episodes after the old Moon died, so I don't know either of their characters that much to form any strong opinions about them. I just listen to the Monty and Puppet podcast once in a while and get a little inside to some of the lore that has been happening.
But hey, at least there's fanfics. Which is why I am rambling here today.
Fanfics:
It is a rare treat to find Sun x Moon fanfics that aren't simply just porn, or do not include reader inserts. So since my romance-filled brain needed something to fill the void, I've started reading some TSAMS fics with romance (that wasn't between Sun & Moon) and plot in them.
I know Solar was settled to be a "cousin" to the weird family tree of TSAMS. But I simply crave for Solar and New Moon to be at least queerplatonic. Solar is not from their dimension, no matter how much they decide they're 'cousins' it doesn't make him their real cousin or relative because they're not from the same world.
Sun and Moon are brothers but they technically gave birth to Eclipse, who then created Lunar so Eclipse is technically Lunar's parent and then brother and Lunar is Sun and Moon's brother and... do you see what I'm trying to say?
The family tree is so complicated that I don't think I'm a horrible person for shipping Moon and Solar and reading fics about them. Tell me if I am wrong though.
The FIC that is making me question everything:
So Puffy recommended this fic by @theinfamousdoctorf , "Eclipse Meets His Match".
I'm currently on chapter 40, and I am genuinely surprised how much I am liking this fic so far. It got everything; redemption and character growth, the representation of Sun as the good, glowing angel he is in my mind (for canon, and every AU. He is always perfect in my eyes I love him can you tell lol), slow-burn romance, drama, excitment, plot, jokes and funny moments... even if there are a lot of mentions of sex and sexual pleasure, it doesn't feel out of the place as there is so much more to it too.
Eclipse's redemption to become better and realising he is in love with Sun has been so interesting to follow. Sun deserves the love. I love when Sun is getting loved. I literally ship him with every other animatronic in the games and love it when people ship him with their self-inserts and OCs. Because I love him so much I want him to be loved in every possible universe he is in.
Even bigger bonus to this fic is the second pairing, Solar and Moon, which I already opened up about above. I don't know how much the fic is truthful to the canon lore of the show, but I wish to pretend this fic is the canon now /hj.
I love the characters and how they're written. I love the descriptions of their flaws and hopes and dreams. How vulnerable they can get. How closely they stick together. And as an appreciation for making me tearful and excited about fanfiction in such a long time, I would hope to be able to gift the author some fan art for their fic.
But I've sworn to not draw anything for the show. For my own good. I've got too many awful comments already from the fans of the show despite never doing any art for it. I am just scared it will turn things worse.
End words:
I don't know if creating a new alias would be the right choice. So my main name/account would be spared from the confusion that the show's fans seem to stirr into, where one tsams artwork turns all of the artist' work into tsams.
I don't care if the art style would be recognisible. The artist would be me, but not PixelChills. Just so I could gift something to the author of this fic that is currently saving me from the boredom of being unable to write my own.
Thank you.
(This text has been typed on my phone, so pardon for any typos).
-Chill
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kinda combining two of the anon prompts - Red Hood in Selkie form trying to comfort a seriously messed up Dick and the Batfam thinking the albino seal is Jason's ghost.
Dick gets hurt. Hurt pretty badly. Bad enough that they aren't sure he will make it.
Red Hood finds out and immediately rushes to the Cave as a Selkie. (No, he isn't worried, not at all, why should he, he just wants a swim, really)
Bruce and Tim see the Selkie, separately or not. And assumes it is Jason's spirit come to take his brother to the afterlife.
Cue desperate pleading to spare Dick's life, offering themselves in exchange...
oof, that one's... got some awesome potential for hurt/comfort.
Bruce would just be white as a sheet and go “No, no, you can't take him. Please, Jaylad. Please, not yet. Please. I can't lose him too, please-“
And Tim would straight up jump into a whole ass essay on why Dick can't join him in the afterlife yet, citing every reason under the sun (along with some pretty ambiguous ones) why the world still needs Nightwing and “I know you miss him, I know, but you can't have him. Not yet. Not yet. We still need him. Please--“
Meanwhile Jason, who's absolutely fed up with whatever this shit is, just shoulders past them both and kneels down by Dick's side, calmly announcing that if he dies on them, then Jason is going to dunk him in a Lazarus Pit, drown in him in it, and then revive him all over again for however long it takes for Jason to feel better.
#jason expresses his love via threatening bodily harm lol#selkie au#selkie jason todd#dick Grayson#tim drake#jason todd#bruce Wayne#batman#Nightwing#red hood
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holy holy holy sheeeee ... I JUST I FELT I NEED TO WRITE IT RN BC I DREAMT THIS JUST LAST NIGHT !!
20:15 pm
there are nights where my mind drift to an endless dark blank sleep, my body had finally relaxed yet my head was in a void of darkness.
"jagi ..." a voice called. i spent my time just under the covers until i felt a warm hand grabbing the sheets, my eyes caught a hazel mop hair and jongho's smiley eyes. my heart leap when my brain had come back to senses, "jongho-ya!"
my arms untangled from the heavy covers and wrap themselves around him. his usual outfit of dark turtle neck and dark blue long coat with his slacks, "hey jagi~"
grip tighten around him whilst his were warmly on top, "I miss you."
his chest vibrates as a soft sound of giggle left his lips, "I was just gone for a day." my head turned to him with my face ' -_-' and his eyes turned cresent as he chuckles at my reaction, "you look cute but hey ..."
"oof—" he pull us both down on my messy bed, half of my weight were on top of him while the rest were on the bed. jongho knew that this kind of time I needed someone even though my body and mind says no.
feeling lonely yet wanted someone to be there for you, just pure silence with them—that's it.
"how are you?" he whisper, his hand reaching to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear, "do you want to talk or just be here?"
sighing, running my fingers on his hair, "just be here with me. that's all." I laid my head on his chest. his heartbeat echoed in my ear, mine going on the same beat. his other hand patting my back softly, almost lulling me back to sleep until he called, "jagi?"
i lift my head up, all my hair going down to my right side, "yeah love?"
a smile settles on his lips, once again his fingers found its way to my hair, brushing them away from my face, "i love you ..."
my heart swell, tears brimming on the corner of my eyes, "I love you too," i whisper, voice hoarse with emotions, "more than what words i write in my essay." jongho laughs, his gummy kind of laugh is one of my favorite. i chuckle, his laugh being contagious, "stop laughing!"
jongho looks at me with a offended look but a smile still evident on his lips, "you started it?!" i lean in, my lips hovering barely an inch from his. it made him silent for a moment, eyes lingering on my lips then up to my eyes, breath fanning our parted lips, "then i'll continue ... just to hear and see that smile."
he scoff, rolling his eyes, "cheesy but if you're gonna kiss me, just do it. my lips are getting tired of waiting..."
without missing a beat, i place my lips on his. soft and moist yet it was addicting. both lips lock in a gently session of kissing until i pulled away, "satisfied?"
jongho hums, "not yet ..." he pull himself up and leaned against his elbow, one arm supporting him while the other-his hand were behind my head and pulled me yet again in an another kiss.
#ateez#ateez imagines#ateez scenarios#ateez fanfic#ateez fluff#ateez x reader#ateez jongho#choi jongho#ateez choi jongho#jongho ateez#jongho x reader#jongho fluff
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What are your personal favorite Gallavich fics?
OKAY, BUCKLE IN!
I actually answer this fic and Tumblr like glitched and deleted it and I was crushed about it, but now I'm back. Ready to tackle this again!
First off, I have 90 Gallavich fics bookmarked. So let's start with the fact that I have a lot of fics that I LOVE and I'm going to link you right here to my Gallavich Bookmarks, should you want to look. I didn't add to my list any purely smutty fics and I have A LOT of amazing ones Bookmarked.
That being said, here are my personal standouts. I'm NOT putting these in order of how much I like them, because I would simply die on the spot under that kind of pressure.
BELOW THE READ MORE: 25 FIC RECS & SHORT RAVE REVIEWS
Life, or Something by @palepinkgoat
This fic encapsulates a lot of things that I crave in a fic that is designed specifically for my tastes. Personal journeys that begin rocky and work toward healing. Dark themes that are treated in a very matter-of-fact way instead of rolling in angst. The growth of mental health. You'll probably see those themes a lot in the fics I love. I also have a fascination with all things death, as someone who has almost died many times and who struggles with a chronic illness. This fic is so. . .beautiful? Articulate. FEELING. I love everything about it.
Belladonna by devovitsuasartes
Oh, THIS. Oof. Okay, this is fantasy HOW I WANT IT. So intricate, so unique, so embedded into the world-building that isn't word-dumped on us with exposition, but SHOWN to us. Witches and forced familiars, complicated family dynamics, rough pasts, coming full circle between the beginning and the end. Emotional journeys, coming back from tough experiences, PINING. This is the fantasy for ME.
Is There Somewhere by andchaos
Soulmates! Soulmarks! Mute Ian who is really fucking funny and sweet and Mickey who doesn't think he has a soulmate because he has no 'first words said to me' mark. I love the dance, I love their rapport, I love how warm this fic is. I've read it several times for comfort.
You Can Bite Me by @goodkwuestion
It's easy as breathing to love all of this author's fics, but this is the one for me, and it has nothing to do with the fantasy vampire aspect. This is one of the only fics that has made me cry. I don't cry from fics, almost ever. The write in this goes from hilarious, witty, clever, and sharp, and then swoops you into appreciating the beauty and sanctity of life, traversing the journey of loss and grief, embracing the passage of time, welcoming love into your life, and simply embracing what it means to be human. This fic touched me in ways I'll never be able to express without a five page essay.
Etherized Against The Sky by Snarfle
A canon-divergent story from 1x09 onward. I couldn't put this into words if I tried, because it is EVERYTHING. Everything that I could ever want in a canon compliant type of fic. Holy shit, does this make me ache. It explores so many facets of their growth, mental health, self-acceptance, found family, rebuilding blood family, and learning how to live in the world of Shameless, but this time, thriving. A complete work of art.
You make me feel human by Dragona
Listen. LISTENNN. Are you listening? Anything that is considered a 'dark' AU is going to be my jam. Anything that dips its toe or severed foot into Hannibal or Murder Husbands type worlds are not just up my alley, but they're leading right up to my fucking house and knocking on the door. This is it, folks! This is the one! No one did it like this fic did it! PLUS: A happy ending? Bitch, I'm on the ground.
My Nine Lovers by @annatrow
While we're talking kiss kiss bang bang gun boyfriends, let's just slap this fic right down here, because holy fuck, I have read it at least three times. The pining? The smut? The secrets? SEXY MURDER BOYFRIENDS TURNED HUSBANDS??? Yeah, honey, I'm here in the front row with my little #1 fingie! My Bookmark comment says "This was so fucking clever and reverent and heartening and joyful."
The Mask of Insanity by @annatrow
Yeah yeah, I am trying to pick only one per author, but I simply cannot with this one. It's so fucking gritty and smart and sharp and emotional. Full of depth, character growth, strange life coincidences, bad boys and good guys and where they fall in between together. I'm big on fics that make you fall down, get scraped up real good, then pick you up by the armpits and say, bitch, we're got more to go!
Conflict of Interest by @thisdivorce
Everyone and their mom knew this was coming. It has everything I crave in a fic. Exceptional characterization. Deeply flawed, real humans living through real life events. The struggles of being queer and unsupported, specifically within the trans community. Journeys through mental health and the pitfalls of navigating the world when you don't see it as clearly as others might. Tearing and screaming out of the confines you've built around yourself, even if they're comfortable and safe, but knowing it's no longer right for you. This fic as everything and more and I've read it three times now because it fills my heart.
(And since this author is possibly probably my fav ever in this fandom, check out WIPs Reckoner and Change Like Shifting Shadows because their writing speaks to my pain and love on a bone deep level.)
Burden of Proof by DodgerBear
Okay, I really fucking like crime fics. Whether on the good side, bad side, or grey side, I love crime fics. This one is soooooo good, and I LIVE for the pining, the draw between them, the SPICE. Please! This is so fucking well done! Whip smart and sexy!
(and shout out to WIP by the same author, Quatervois, for which I will wait an eternity to update, I don't care, go read it NOW.)
Wild West Ian and Mickey by 09cityskylights
Always always always, I will be invested in Western AUs. Any fandom, anywhere, any time. I love for Westerns and this author does it so perfectly. I fucking adore this journey and I can't recommend it enough.
Can't Figure You Out by Crimson_Bebop
If I'm going to pick one office AU from the lot (and there's so many good ones, check out this post for more), it's gonna be this. It's nerve-wrecking, hot as hell, an emotional rollercoaster. You're rooting for both of them so badly, but they both require different but equally important things in their lives, and finding that middle ground is MESSY.
Dancing After Death by @squidyyy23
Oh man. Oh shit. I don't know where or hot to start, because this combines two of my fav things, Sons of Anarchy with Shameless. It combines them, yes, but more important, this is completely it's own beast with an incredibly detailed timeline of events. It's hot as all HELL, it's gritty, it's real, it's loving and tender and difficult and highly charged with emotion and struggle. LIVING FOR IT. I have read this three times.
Teenagers Scare The Living Shit Out Of Me by Mellow_Yellow
Oh hey, we're back at the Lala Loves Murder & Crime Show, and yeah, this one is FULL of it. It's so fucked up. It's so well written. The character growth is fucking A+, the murder reveal is exceptional, the mystery is FRAUGHT WITH DANGER. Guys! It's so fucking GOOD!
Teenage Dirtbag by @celestialmickey
Hah. . .I have read this three times. I'll never have read it enough times. Ian is 17 in 1999 here and I was 12 at the time, so everything this fic speaks to speaks of my entire adolescence and I just. Deeply cherish every moment. I savor every chapter of slow build. I revel in their victories. I sing along to all of their songs that I already know by heart, I wiggle in my seat to the Spotify soundtrack, I live for the vingettes of their happy ending. This fic is so magicl and wias written with such love and care.
you'll never see us again by @spoonfulstar
Okay okay okay, listen to me. Yes, we ALL love Intro to Quantum Dating by this author. I fucking adore it. I open it up at random chapters just to read and make myself smile. But THIS FIC??? THIS ONE??? You have got to be kidding me. I cried. I fucking yearned. I hurt, I hurt so bad down to my toes, and I smiled when things went right, and I teared up when it didn't, and I hoped and prayed for a happy ending, and yes I got one that was fulfilling and beautiful and poignant. Did the fact that I am a kidney transplant recipient play into my deep-seeding feelings about this fic? Absolutely. Do I think everyone should read this fic to grasp what exceptional storytelling looks like? BIG TIME.
Solid Skies and Slate-Blue Earth Below by @sentimentalspiders
This is one of the weirdest fucking fics I"ve ever read and I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. Best alien!Ian! Exceptional, fascinating, vivid writing style! The narrative is articulated in such an ethereal, out-of-the-box way that is perfectly fits a story that is about an alien and a very lost man. It's SOOO COOL.
Brand Spanking New by J_Q
I don't know what to tell you. Micky gets sent to a fuckin' retreat when he gets professionally spanked (by Ian) to fix his horrible behavior. He gets out of there and then he and Ian start a very detailed BDSM relationship. This is SOOO my wheelhouse of JOY, but if it is not yourself, y'know uh. I mean, I still recommend it anyway. It's so wildly delightful and hot as FUCK.
That's a Wrap by @crossmydna
Am I biased because this was written for me as a gift? Shut the fuck up, of course I am. But also, no, because well before Cross took on prompts, they were working on The Menagerie which is in my top five favorite Gallavich fics of all time, and I read it all the time AND YOU SHOULD TOO. Anyway, back to this fic. What can I say, it's EVERYTHING I WANT. Actor AUs! Meet Ugly, the hottest smut imaginable, banter that's sharp and strong, badass Ian & Mickey, everything everything everything.
The Stargazer by crazynadine
Hey yeah, hi, welcome to my Daddy Kink. There's a lot of it. Let me show you around, its got scrappy heart of gold sex worker Mickey, it's got age difference bearded and jaded by life Ian, it's got panties and road side motels, and secrets, jealousy, and hot hot hot smut, like holy shit. But if daddy kink is not your jam, then y'know. . .ahem.
The Question of Normal by blue_newman
Ian is a prison counselor and Mickey is in prison. The way that I LIVE for Ian breaching any of his professional protocols to help Mickey (this goes for so many fics in my bookmarked fics) is unholy, but how about you five me a fucking break okay. I just like it when they break the rules, as they should, because this is Shameless LOL. But seriously, this is so thoughtful and heartening and left me feeling really fucking right in the world after I read it.
Well, I hope this helped! This is only about a fifth of my Bookmarked fics, and I wanted to write about SO MANY MORE. Anyone is always welcome to ask me to rave about fics, I am always here for it lol.
I said this in the begining, but I have bookmaked A LOT of smut fics that I think are exceptional works, so I suggest you filter my Bookmarks by works under 10,000 words and you're gonna find 'em all.
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Am I the only one who just wants to enjoy this book series without looking to deeply into every little thing? 😭
Nope, I totally, totally get it! I’ll so often be scrolling on tumblr and see huge essays of text in which someone has come to a certain conclusion about the characters or a certain plot line and have solidified in their mind that they must be correct and thus need to spread the word, and honestly, it’s got to the point where I’m just rolling my eyes at them. Of course we should read the books and share our thoughts and theories and everything, and of course any published book series should be open to critiques, but I do feel this fandom takes it to a ridiculous level sometimes. I guess I’m just sick of reading posts that are like “JUST A REMINDER THAT FROM XYZ LINE ERIS VANSERRA WAS GIVING A HIDDEN XYZ MEANING AND IS THUS A DISGUSTING, VILE CHARACTER” and I’m looking at it thinking ?????? There is no confirmation from the author that what this person is saying is the case, so why are they writing a huge essay about it as if it is? I’m the first person to criticise SJM about many things, but I just find it funny when readers decide that they know better about a character’s intentions than the creator of that character and, thus, their intentions. Once again, I’m probably not making much sense 😅
But I know that would frustrate the hell out of me if I published a book series and knew perfectly well what the character I created meant and intended with certain words and actions, and then a reader was like “ACTUALLY HERE’S A COMPREHENSIVE STUDY OF WHY THAT CHARACTER WAS ACTUALLY SAYING THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE AND I’M TOTALLY CORRECT AND THE AUTHOR KNOWS NOTHING!!!!”
Oof, sorry, went on a bit of a rant there, but yes, in short, I totally get what you’re saying 😅😅
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every now and then i look through your blog and i'm once again in awe of your energy could never be me oof i wish i had something more to say but i do admire and appreciate your presence 👍🏽✨
actually on second thought here's a song rec: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWZ6VyQ-cMI
i've been obsessed with this for Days. mostly bc i love the variety of animation mediums packed into this am i saying that right idk fkjdlsdsgldf, and i also love how in some parts the auto tune on the voice is itself used like an instrument, it feels really cool to me. i hope your day treats you well and i wish you all the best! ☺️
thank you & thank you for the song!! and lol I wouldn’t say that I have “energy.” I don’t think I’ve had “energy” to do anything since I was like ten years old (I literally. have chronic fatigue). so I would attribute my prolific presence to the power of a) adhd b) procrastination c) spite and then there’s also just d) I have a lot to say about literally everything. I’ve always been that kid who turned a 2 paragraph short response into a 12 page essay (thankfully most of my teachers and professors didn’t mind these tendencies). so after nearly two decades of pondering atla and dissecting my own relationship to it and thinking through all its implications, it stands to reason that I would have a lot to say on the topic at any given time. but who knows, maybe I will eventually run out of things to say. it’s possible. in fact I dream of such a bright future nightly.
#gigilberry#asks#unfortunately I do currently have 900+ drafts so I don’t see my retirement happening any time soon.
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heyall if the roblox oof video and the disney buffer tune video taught us anything it's that the archival and credit of information is so fucking important
i know it's stinky to spend money but once again, wikipedia needs money. give them a couple buckaroonies and let's help keep history alive and help elementary schoolers cheat with ctrlc ctrlv on essays
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top five exid concepts (or songs. or both)?
OOF this is literally so hard they don’t even have thattt many songs but they’re my absolute favorite women i love almost everything they’ve done so this won’t be a definite list and i am for SURE missing some of my own favorites but like! just off the top of my head:
1. hot pink (top concept / song / everythinggg to me 🩷 i literally like the way you pink it + i gotta plug the iconic tipsy live i mean remember when idols used to know how to SING? <- jokingly ofc)
2. woo yoo by hani (the pun!!!! ‘i say i need ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh you ooh you’ sounding like she’s saying she needs uyu aka milk in korean is so funny and it’s such a GORGEOUS beautiful song esp when she sings it live like here where she made the audience laugh w the little pun too hehe <3)
3. I LOVE YOUUUUU it’s vocal prowess it’s my beautiful women SCREAMING they love me at the top of their incredible lungs and THIS is one of my fave vids of them singing they’re just SO GOOOOD i always get chills from solji + hyelin at the very end)
4. velvet (LE solo) = are you hungry? (jeonghwa & hyelin) i couldn’t choooose and it’s so funny if you know both of these songs bc they’re so opposite LMFAO but they’re both such gorgeous examples of their respective genres and show how even though they are all incredible together they still have so much to show individually/as subunits and they’re so versatile and everything they dab in just turns out to be so fun/good like! my exid!!
5. night rather than day (even without solji they managed to make such a gorgeous comeback that sounded just like exid (of course while missing solji dearly) and they yet again showed something new & beautiful and i loooove that song it’s one of my faves + who would exid be without a tipsy live) and up & down and ah yeah all tied here i have to mention them all i wanna mention L.I.E. too but if i got into why i love each of those we’d literally be here all night and it’s already taking me SO long to answer these fkhskdk so !!! trust me they’re incredible and i love them so much for GOOD REASON 💖💖💖
+ if you click on any link from this entire essay please let it be 💖EXID ON KILLING VOICE💖 my girls are showstoppers and this is a perfect condensed little taste of why they’re all that and then some!
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