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blackgirlsuperherorants · 3 years

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With more articulation, I'm ready to talk about why the push for Lokius simply bothers me, and this can be said for other m/m or w/w ships that fans push to be canon so hard just because they ship it.

It's the framing. The framing that if Marvel doesn't do it (or whatever the brand is), it's because homophobia, and if other fans don't like it/ship it, it's because homophobia (even if they ship other queer ships and are queer themselves.) And the biggest problem with that is that it overshadows the REAL issue of lack of queer representation on screen in mainstream nerd media, especially from big things under the Disney umbrella (Marvel and Lucasfilm/Star Wars, especially.)

It makes it bad that your ship isn't canon instead of bad that there haven't been any queer romances on screen in the MCU.

And like, as a writer myself, I find myself dissecting the stories of other media all the time. I can watch an MCU movie or series and pretty much assess what direction the story is going in by the narrative points they're hitting. I knew Sylki was basically gonna happen (even if just a kiss) because narratively, that's what the show was doing as soon as they had that "what is love" conversation on Lamentis-1. It didn't mean I liked it. But I knew it was happening.

Similarly, there's no romantic undertones to Loki and Mobius. None. For Marvel to make them a couple, it would mean they'd be doing it simply because the two present as men and it would make stans happy. And while there's something to be said for fan service, it would be annoying to watch them cram two guys together who aren't romantic in the slightest. I'd much rather see Loki meet some guy and have the same type of undertones they were giving to Sylvie and form a real bond to where the kiss feels earned and warranted. Not just put him with the nearest man because "he gay lol."

And how you guys are claiming it's being queer that makes you want this is beyond me. It's not being queer that makes you want this. I don't want queer characters that fuck everyone of whatever gender(s) they're attracted to even when it doesn't make sense for them to. I want real love stories. I mean, yeah, sometimes we can have a slut character, because that's fun, too, but that's not even what y'all think Lokius is. You seem to want them to be in love. But why? Because he's the first friend Loki made that isn't through Thor?

I hate that, too, because I hate this idea that queer people cannot have friends of their same gender without wanting to fuck them. IDK how y'all are, maybe y'all are like that, but I almost never have wanted to fuck any of my friends. The only few exceptions have been when I tried to befriend someone I had a crush on (in which case, usually the friendship can't work, really, because I have a crush on them.) I also think it's okay if you can have casual sex with friends, or if you have a friendship that develops into romance, but Jesus, do you people not have friends that you don't want to fuck? I am bi, maybe more pan (gender kind of doesn't matter to me, I guess) and I'm friends with people of all kinds of gender identities and like... I love them as people, which is why they're my friends, but I DO NOT want to fuck them. Especially my closest friend. I talked about her, before, here, but she's like my sister. The thought of fucking her is gross, to me. Not because she's gross, but because it feels incestuous.

Loki shouldn't want to fuck Mobius just because they developed a friendship. And that's very much how it's written on the series. They almost dislike each other (or Mobius is at least indifferent to Loki) and then they become friends.

That's not to mention the power dynamic that exists, there. And I know some of y'all are subs, but yeah, it's a bit gross to imply a sexual relationship with Loki's captor.

But on to Sylki. It sucks that I feel like most of y'all hate Sylki because Sylvie is a girl, and not just because it's bad in other ways. Like, the reasons Sylki is bad have less to do with "it should have been Mobius" and more to do with it being a lazy 1980s action movie plot that should have never happened. I'm not as creeped out by the selfcest (as many of you wouldn't have been if she was a he, I'm almost positive), but what's bad about it is that they couldn't have a strong female lead character without her being the love interest of the main guy. She didn't need to be, especially because she was a Loki variant, anyway. There was no need for it to have romantic undertones, and there was no need for them to kiss. It was sexist more than it was homophobic (and I can't help feeling like y'all are kind of being biphobic in this case. Maybe I'll talk about that, later, but yeah.) It was sexist bullshit. And there's valid criticism that Sylvie is underdeveloped. She's just angry and something for Loki to project affection onto.

I was also hoping they'd do a "found family" type of thing with Sylvie and Loki and let her be like the sister he never knew he needed, but no, they had to go trope and make her the love interest. It was lazy and bad and basically went "If Loki girl, main Loki want bone!"

Basically, having the main character fall for a character just because of their proximity and gender is bad and I hate it (and it would have been bad with Mobius, too, but yeah.)

Both the Mobius and the Sylvie thing also feel kind of racist, to me, because the show has prominent Black women who aren't even presented as desirable to Loki. And y'all, of course, ship him with anyone but the Women of Color. Y'all can pull true love with Mobius out of your ass, but he couldn't possibly fall for the Black women. lol.

Anyway. Not every show needs ships, and this show shouldn't have had any. I hate it. It's bad.

I guess on the biphobia front, I have heard some takes that it's not biphobic because Loki being queer in the MCU which hasn't shown any queer relationships, and Loki being the first openly queer character means they shouldn't have shown him with a woman presenting character. Which, I guess I get where you're coming from... but I have also been in fandoms for a long time and I see mostly girls saying this shit, which is what leads me to feel like it's simply jealousy. It happens all the time when a long-beloved single male character/celebrity suddenly starts dating a woman. Everyone hates it. And like, we haven't seen Loki be with ANYONE in the MCU, because mostly he's been doing villainy and his dating life hasn't been relevant. If the demigod says he's bi, he can kiss a woman. Especially a woman version of himself. Like I said, I hate it for other reasons, but pretending it's because he should have kissed Mobius is utterly delusional. He probably shouldn't have kissed anyone. Not in this series. There was no reason for any canon romance, especially because the show has a season 2 and we'll have time to see Loki develop earned, deserved romance with someone.

I'd much rather see them create a character just to be his boyfriend than have y'all push Marvel into making Lokius canon, which is a nonsense ship that only happened because Mobius is the only prominent male-presenting character before we meet the other Lokis.

My sincere wish is for people to remember that their ships are just ships and to enjoy them without getting all self-righteous about it. I TOLD y'all that Lokius wasn't gonna be canon like 4 episodes back, and here y'all are acting shocked and like Marvel took something from you. NOBODY expected y'all to ship Lokius. It's not even queerbait.

You can make clear arguments as to why Sambucky was queerbait. It's there in undertones in the actual series.

You cannot watch Loki and tell me you thought it was queerbait, unless you think men can't have conversations or hug goodbye without being romantically involved. Which means, in my opinion, that you need to learn about healthy masculinity.

Again, this is not a defense of Marvel. They DO need to let characters be queer, for real, and not just by saying " A bit of both". Like, let Loki be queer. Let Deadpool be queer. Let these queer characters be queer on screen. Yes.

But please stop making it about your ship. I'd rather see a flashback of Loki dating a guy and see him kiss someone he loved back on Asgard than watch y'all force Lokius. Because my queer rep is not about your crackship. It really isn't. And the fact that y'all keep calling us homophobic for not liking your ship REALLY needs to be addressed.

Like, when will y'all stop? I got on Stucky shippers about this shit in the past. All of us gay as hell, too, we just don't like YOUR ship. A lot of us like other queer ships. A lot of us like queer ships in other fandoms, too, and even have queer OCs. YOUR ship just ain't it. Stop forcing it. Literally, most of the ship wars between MCU fans have been queer ship vs queer ship, not really queer ship vs straight ship. Like, the number one Stucky rival ship was Stony. Not Steggy. People are not homophobic for not wanting your ship.

Sometimes it's because they ship something else.

And sometimes, like me, it's because they want something to make sense narratively and not happen for the sake of it happening. It's always better writing to have a character meetcute a new love interest than to magically turn a platonic friendship into a romantic relationship. Like, even when the characters are straight. Like, when Moesha dated Hakeem. It was just weird, even if he was kind of a great boyfriend. He was just supposed to be her friend, and people didn't really like it because it didn't fit narratively.

And that's why ships for the most part should be left to fanfiction, with the exception of a few where fans are right to call out the writers for not making it canon because it's clearly bait (like what happened to Destiel shippers. To see Lokius shippers compare themselves to THAT was so ridiculous. Destiel shippers had a decade of evidence only to be let down by a criminally unfair ending. Lokius shippers saw two men have a deep conversation once and lost their minds.)

Anyway, I'm not saying don't ship Lokius. I don't even hate it, really. I just think it obviously shouldn't be canon, and fans pretending like they were robbed of it is ridiculous. Literally, Ao3 exists for this reason. I will never see Steve fuck Sam Wilson, so I wrote it into my fanfic. I am not mad that they didn't actually date in the main MCU storyline.

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cassielovesanime · 3 years

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Since one of my friends asked for anime suggestions, I figured I would make a small list for them here as a post.

1. Welcome to demon school Iruma Kun

Type: comedy and school life

My personal summary: a hilarious anime about a boy who gets adopted by the king of demons. The protag is very likable in my opinion as he is a good guy but also a doormat so it’s fun to see him grow with his friends. Just genuinely very fun, but also follows somewhat of a story line and can have its touching moments. Just 10/10 if you want a good light hearted laugh I would say. Highly suggest for those who want to watch a casual anime that will make them laugh.

2. Toilet Bound Hanako Kun

Type: fantasy and school life (also bit romance)

My personal summary: girl meets spirit boy with a dark side and now is his assistant because she effed up because she is a little boy crazy for handsome guys. But it’s okay cause now she goes on whacky adventures with spirits and is trying to get to know the spirit boy who kinda saved her and continues to save her. This one is both funny and sweet, but also can be dark at times. The characters all have very interesting personalities and dynamics, and the cast is actually pretty small so you get to see a lot more of the main characters develop. Very good story wise and character wise. Highly suggest to lovers of fantasy but are also not too into anime.

3. Assassination classroom

Type: Comedy, coming of age, and School life

My personal summary: Teenagers are earths last hope to be saved from destruction as they are tasked to kill their teacher who looks like a man and an octopus had a baby that has super strength and speed. This is my all time favorite anime, and it is a very, very, VERY touching underdog story. It has so much humor but also so much darkness but so many of the characters feel real and it still to this day has arguably the saddest yet most satisfying endings in anime that I have seen, and I watched it back in 2017ish. It just has a bit of everything and the storyline is amazing, the characters are so well written, and the concept is very interesting as well. I just would not recommend this to those who aren’t comfortable with fan service, as it does appear a bit often in this one. Highly suggest to anyone who wants to watch a found family or underdog story. Also, amazing English dub, one of the few animes I suggest the English dub over the English sub (English sub is good too, but I love the dub so much).

4. Bloom into you

Type: romance, coming of age, school

My personal summary: very gay, and very well written. It’s a story that follows Yuu Koito who is a late bloomer who doesn’t get love, which she has constantly read in the media and had this big expectation for. She then meets her schools class president who takes a liking to her knowing Yuu doesn’t think she can fall in love with someone. This is very good I think for lgbtq+ rep as it takes the topics very seriously and handles them respectfully. It handles questioning sexuality and finding yourself, as well as taking pride in it. It expresses both being a lesbian and asexual, as well as late bloomers and domestic lesbians. It also handles topics of mourning and bad ways of coping and expectations from what I remember. I am more of a manga reader but I have heard splendid reviews about the anime, the only thing is that this series is a lot more serious and the anime isn’t finished (the manga is though, so I suggest this path more if you can afford it.) highly suggest for anyone wanting lgbtq+ rep.

5. Rascal does not dream of bunny girl senpai

Type: sci-fi, romance (this one doesn’teel like school at all but they are high schoolers)

My personal summary: a sci-fi take on high schoolers teenage years and problems, following Sakura as he tries to help and solve the cases of people with “adolescence syndrome”, which is surrounded by their problems and insecurities in life that causes abnormal and supernatural things to happen. Very compelling story and again is more serious, but it also knows how to hit you in the feels. The main characters are lovable and have one of the best romances I have seen in anime, and all the other characters are really likable too. I highly suggest to anyone interested in a good story because this one just takes the cake.

6. New game!(!)

Type: slice of life

My personal summary: mc is a girl who gets a game designing job right out of high school and now must work on a team with her idol. Very light hearted, and also quite gay in my opinion. I personally like slice of life yuri genres and etc., but this one is my favorite. The cast is lovable again (always important), and it has this theme of working hard and going after your dreams. It is one with a bit of fan service (far less than others, but still a warning for my younger friends following), but it makes up for those moments with very heart felt moments between characters. I genuinely adore the second season as for a slice of life genre, it follows a bit more of a story and it gets a lot gayer. However, being a slice of life it isn’t really explicitly lgbtq+ rep, but there is one couple that has major subtexts and moments and a really cute scene at the ending. I do suggest this to those who like the slice of life genre and perhaps want a bit of lgbtq+ rep, but not to anyone who doesn’t like slower paced stories. Oh, and also the art style is adorable.

7. Rampo Kitan: Game of Laplace

Type: mystery, bit of a thriller

My personal summary: just a really good detective series. I haven’t watched this one in two years, but whenever I think about a dark mystery series, this is one of the top 3 to come to my mind, and is the most underrated one. It’s just very dark but also very compelling, so I suggest this to anyone who likes those sort of things. It also has an amazing English dub.

8. Little witch academia

Type: coming of age, fantasy, school life

My personal summary: another underdog story about a girl who dreams of becoming a witch like her idol and going to witch school… must I say more? It’s the gay witchcraft vibe that we all adore, a funny and lovable story that follows a girl chasing her dreams to become a witch. Again, likable characters, and an interesting story. It also has a unique art style that is adorable, and is very accessible seeing as its on Netflix. I highly suggest for younger viewers as this one is very kid friendly from what I know, but is also an amazing story with a nice fantasy aspect. Also, there is a bit of gay subtext and a hell of a lot of diakko shippers for wlw content if you like that (with a rival to lovers dynamic). MC can be paired with a guy or girl depending on how you wish to interpret it, and that screams bi rights to me :)))

#Cassie suggests #welcome to demon school iruma kun #toilet bound hanako kun #tbhk #assassination classroom #assclass #bloom into you #rascal does not dream of bunny girl senpai #new game!#new game!!#new game! anime #game of laplace #rampo kitan game of laplace #little witch academia #lwa

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needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves · 3 years

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Oh damn that Dreadwing request! Hoo boy, that was a fun read. If requests weren’t closed I might’ve asked for what Skyquake and Maxima were doing, but that’s alright. If I remember/someone doesn’t ask for it before me, I might come back when you’re ready for more.

You know what? You’re the last ask I have in here, and I honestly LOVE doing stuff of Skyquake and Dreadwing. So fuck it, you get what you want, dot (it helps that you honestly acknowledge that my inbox gets closed, and that you have an odd talent of requesting people I ACTUALLY wanna write for).

*also there’s NOTHING in terms of content for this bitch, so I can write her however the fuck I want-

“If I didn’t trust them, we wouldn’t be here.”

With those parting words, Skyquake let Dreadwing be taken away. It was his first time in a place like this, so he understood the hesitation, but he’d be dammed if his brother’s nerves got in between him having a good time with Maxima. Primus, what a fem. One from Caminus, she was not only a fine looking thing, but she was quite rebellious; refusing to partake in the traditional standards, and opted to moving to Cybertron instead. Combine that with the fact that she had a smart mouth, and it was no wonder why he became one of her regulars. He plucked a flower from a vase in the hallway, before entering the room he was told to go in. She wasn’t here just yet. Not that he minded waiting. He looked himself over in the vanity mirror. He was glad his brother didn’t notice, but he DID get himself a bit of a touch up, just for tonight. Nothing major, just a fresh coat of paint. Something to make him look less...dusty, you could say.

“To think, you did something so shameful, just for a pretty fem.”

Skyquake couldn’t help it. She really proved to be someone he thought of often. Not that he’d ever tell Dreadwing. You kidding? His brother even suspecting just a HINT of romance between him and another bot? It’d be nothing but questions for weeks. He supposed he couldn’t really blame him. Afterall, he was-

“Is that your brother down the hallway? The blue one?”

He turned to the voice. Maxima. Lovely as ever. Stunning purple paint, hips for days, and the most stunning set of wings you’d ever see on a jet. He chuckled as she walked in.

“Yes. My big brother, actually. If only by a few kliks.”

He presented her the flower, and she accepted it, chuckling.

“Ah, nothing like a good hallway flower to pluck at the spark strings.”

“W-I’ll have you know I’m offended!”

He made a fake face of offense, which only brought another chuckle from her. He loved making her laugh. Her optics would shine brighter than the stars, and even though he had never seen her without her face mask, he knew she was smiling. She patted his chest, as if they were old friends.

“Oh, boo hoo, the creation day boy has his feelings hurt.”

She walked past him to put the flower in a proper vase, before Skyquake put his hands on her shoulders.

“Is that anyway to talk to a mech who actually DID get you something?”

“If it’s from the hallway, I think I’ll pass.”

“No no, I’m quite serious.”

He dug into his sub space, and presented her with a little box. She scanned it over curiously, before taking it from his hands. They had fragged quite a few times, but he STILL felt nervous whenever their hands touched. She looked it over, before taking off the box. Her wings perked up in attention, and her optics glimmered. She liked anything that glistened and gleamed, even just bits of shiny metal, but Skyquake really outdid himself this time.

“You...got me pearls?”

“Not JUST pearls. Pearls right from Aquatron.”

“Huh. Can’t afford extra time with me, yet you can afford pearls?”

He deserved that, honestly. He gave a soft chuckle, carefully taking the little earrings from their casing.

“I have friends in many places, many of whom owe me favors. I expected a thank you, honestly.”

He carefully clipped them onto her audial fins, and she gazed at herself in the vanity.

“Alright, alright, I’ll give you that much. I love them. I’ve ALWAYS wanted pearls.”

She caught him looking at her, and she chuckled, lightly tapping his cheek.

“Quit looking at me like that.”

“I paid to spend time with you, didn’t I?”

There was a moment of comfortable silence between them, before he suddenly got up, sweeping her off her seat and walking over to the berth.

“Hey, easy there tiger, I JUST got waxed.”

He plopped her onto the berth, propping himself up by his elbows. She looked so precious underneath him, but looks were deceiving. Quick witted, ever unimpressed by his actions or his words. She was a constant challenge for him, and he adored her for that. He dug his face into the crook of her neck, trailing his kisses along her neck cables. Her servos brushed against his chest, slowly and softly dipping into the nooks and cracks of his armor. He always loved how nicely she treated him. At the beginning at least.

“So, what are we looking at today? Thigh jobs? Valve stuff? Or are you feeling frisky enough for a wing job?”

She was a bit of a pervert. Just like he was. Especially since he was going to ask for something just awful. He lightly tapped his claw against her face mask.

“I...I want to kiss you.”

Her brow furrowed at him, and her hands tore away from his chest.

“You know my rule. No mouth stuff.”

“Maxima, I haven't stopped thinking about what they might look like. I’d do anything to see that smile of yours. I swear, I won’t tell a single spark.”

She was always so against seeing her actual face. It was some secret about her that he desperately wanted to know. She groaned, before conceding under his gaze.

“I have rules.”

“Name them.”

“I’m charging you triple my rate.”

“Fair.”

“I am NOT sucking you off.”

“Disappointing, but fair.”

“If you tell anyone about this, I’ll have your helm on my wall.”

“Primus you’re beautiful.”

She groaned, as if he was a pain to deal with. Then she did it. She pulled her face mask apart, and Skyquake swore he had never seen anything more beautiful. Not a single sunset, not a single full moon. Full, purple lips that looked softer than clouds.

“Why...do you hide your face so often?”

“Bots stare at me. Like how you are.”

“Because you’re gorgeous. You’re just…”

His voice trailed off as he got lost in her features. He leaned down towards her, and finally, FINALLY, pressed his lips onto hers. He was careful with her, not wanting her to regret showing her such a huge part of herself. She held onto the back of his helm, only making him cherish her touch more. He pulled away from her, lightly panting. Some mechs were aroused by fems opening their panels or putting on pretty clothes. He was interested in smart, pretty mouths, just like hers.

“Anyone at home, big guy?”

He realized he had caught himself staring at her, like some fool. Could she really blame him? His breath was short, his frame was hot.

“I’m VERY sorry for what I’m about to do.”

Whatever she was going to say was silenced as he forced his lips upon hers again. His servos felt along her wings, and she knew him well enough to take the hint. She opened her valve panel, and was sweet enough to open his spike panel. She stroked his spike, and he rubbed her valve in firm, rather aggressive circles. He loved how soft and wet she was, loved that little tiny piercing that was just under her node. Fems couldn’t get piercings back on Caminus, and that small act of rebellion only furthered his lust for her. He yanked her up from her back, right into his lap to face him. He sat on the edge of the berth, grabbed a handful of her aft, and slammed her down right onto his spike. He was usually so much more careful with her, but not tonight. Not with her mouth open like that, not when her wings stood up so perky for him. He kept a hold of her aft, using it as means of slamming her down onto him over and over. He had no idea if her moans were real, but Primus they SOUNDED real. Drool dripping from her smudged, plump lips. Primus he liked her lips.

“P-Primus I thought you were going to be easy on-”

“Rub your node for me.”

Skyquake couldn't help himself. When he really wanted her, really craved her overload, he tended to be a bit demanding. She obeyed, rubbing her little node in time to his constant, rough pounding of her valve.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d t-think you’re close already. Didn’t know you were into being treated rough.”

“I’ll snap your spike right off.”

Primus, he could swoon for that look. The makeup under her optics made her look even scarier, like some feral tiger.

“I’m going to overload in you.”

“Don’t you FUCKING dare.”

They knew each other well. If she honestly had a problem with it, his aft would be thrown right out the damn window. She was playing a silly, sexy little game with him. His claws dug into her aft, really clawing at the paint, and he continued to use her for his spike. He was so close, so eagerly throbbing. That was when he slammed his spike right up against that perfect spot, and overloaded. He knew he shouldn’t have, but he also leaned in, biting her bottom lip. That seemed to be so sudden, so surprising for her, her wings fanned out, and she overloaded right after him. It helped force more overload from his spike, only pouring more into her and dripping onto the berth beneath them. They say there, panting and basking in their afterglow. She went to rub the drool off of her lip, before looking at her hand.

“You...bit me! I’m bleeding!”

“I-I’m so sorry! I just-”

“You son of a GLITCH.”

He thought he was about to get just murdered then and there, only to have her fling herself at him, knocking them both off the berth, and onto the floor. She was going to regret that. Even if it meant making him beg for mercy.

----------------------------------

“So he doesn’t know you smoke?”

“Oh Primus no. He’d kill me.”

They sat on the floor, nothing but a messy sheet over their wet, sore frames. He had no idea how much extra fees he was tacking onto the bill, but he didn’t care. She was here, kissing and licking at his servos, just how he asked. With his free hand, he took another inhale of his cygar, blowing smoke back out into the room. She chuckled against his hand, only smearing more purple lipstick against his green paint.

“Maybe he should. You’re a beast of a mech.”

“Pfft, you say that to all your clients.”

“No actually. They treat me like a lady. You treat me like a chew toy.”

He was going to argue against that, but seeing the plentiful bite and scratch marks across her frame, made any words there useless. He shrugged, taking another inhale of smoke.

“I...like you. I’ve been with almost everyone else here, but I like you the most. You and I...are a lot alike. Happy to be out of Caminus. Happy to be here, with you.”

She leaned up, kissing at his chin.

“I can tell. This is the most amount of time you’ve bought since...ever, really. Too bad you can’t get anymore, I have an appointment in a few minutes.”

His spark felt pained. He had to leave her so soon? He sighed, putting out his Cygar, and rolling to his side to face her. He felt some odd sense of pride, knowing he left that little scar at her lips.

“Alright. I suppose I need to check on my brother anyway. But just...one more question.”

“You really wanna stretch out the clock, huh? Alright, shoot, big blue.”

“Can you...wear those earrings whenever I come see you? Call me selfish, but I like the idea of being special to you.”

She chuckled. She pushed down his chin, and slowly, sensually, dragged her glossa against his. She got off the floor, slamming her face mask back over her features.

“You’re special. You’re the only one that knows how to piss me off. Now get off the floor, less you be swept up with the rest of the garbage in here.”

She slipped out of the room, and he chuckled, watching her leave. What a fem. He was going to make his move. Someday. Nothing was going to keep him from that.

Even if it killed him.

#asks #maxima #lemon #listen #Im actually #really all about them rn #They're great #Skyquake

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sanderssideswriting · 4 years

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Youtuber Life Chapter 4

Ships: familial sleepxiety and eventual Prinxiety

Words:???

triggers: attempted suicide mention

first last next

Summary: Remy Sanders is a famous beauty vlogger and just moved to LA with his teenage son Virgil after their location was leaked by fans. Remy AKA CoffeeAddiction has several million subscribers. Virgil also has a secret Drama channel, where he doesn’t show his face and uses a voice modifier. He just hit a million subs and grows more everyday because of the level of production his videos have, the mystery around who he is and the fact that he ALWAYS has the latest information regarding youtube drama.

“Welcome back to another episode of “the fuck did she say now? I have a DID drama update. I’ve been waiting awhile to gather information to do a long segment. Since she first came out about having DID which has been disproven time and time again she’s tried to make it more believable in the stupidest way possible. By reviewing Chick-Fil-A’s spicy chicken sandwich, five fucking times. I watched all those videos plus others to see if she’s trying to keep up the lie. She’s really not. I swear every time I have to give her my views to tell you all what’s going on I die a little inside.”

“Who are you talking about?”

“DAD! Read the fucking sign! I’m recording!”

“Are you talking about Trisha?”

“Yes dad, now let me tell them about her.”

“She’s a total bitch! I fucking hate her!”

“WE KNOW! Damn it, now I’m going to have to edit all this out.”

“I’ve been looking into DID. And it’s actually a very interesting topic, and I encourage everyone to learn more about it. There will be links to videos and article on DID in the description. DisociaDID has not been on social media very much since all of this. I know they attempted suicide. Not because of Trisha or atleast only partly. Nin the systems host was dating someone in another system called Team Piñata who was discovered to be doing some shit I will not mention because it’ll get demonetized. I actually feel really bad for they system, it seems like they have been going through a lot recently. Now for all the OTHER shit Trisha has said and done over the past few weeks.”

Virgil edited the video and posted it, making sure to edit out the bit where his dad interrupted him and called Trisha a bitch.

Roman texted him.

Roman: You’re a meme Virgil: I’m well aware, fucking Jake Paul Roman: I thought you hated the guy, why are you fucking him? Virgil: I’m so fucking done with you

“VIRGIL!”

Virgil rolled his eyes “What?”

“I have in idea for a video get your ass down here!”

Remy was in front of the camera “K, so what if I mixed all of my eyeshadow together into one?”

“First of all Cristine did that with nail powder and polish and Safiya did that already in one of her weird make up science videos. Second, scraping the eyeshadow would kill you to watch.”

“UGH! You’re right, what else could I do?”

“A Bob Ross painting on your face. you could use only drug store products for something,”

“Bob Ross painting with drugstore shit!”

Virgil shrugged “yeah sure, you could also get lip gloss mix it together and try to make something really fucking weird, or do that with gel polish”

“I refuse to touch lip gloss, it’s fucking gross.”

“Bob ross painting not on your faces with lip gloss and other lipsticks.”

Remy nodded “thanks Virgil, you’re helping my buy it later.”

“No, people at school could see me, you can order it,”

“that’s less fun though,”

Virgil rolled his eyes “fine dad, I just need to make sure that no one can recognize me.”

He was ready pretty fast, with a light brown wig and blue contacts he also had close that where black and purple reserved for the occasion.

“Hello everyone! We are in the car today at our local Walgreens because we’re going to be buying lipstick, lip gloss and lip liner to make a Bob Ross painting!”

“Not on your face.”

“Not on my face, fuck lip gloss.”

“I wasn’t aware that was a kink or whatever.”

Remy glared at Virgil “smartass, you can walk home.”

“Gladly, I’ll be laughing when I see you trying to film and carry everything and talk and pay the cashier. You’ll be a meme.”

“You already got memed once this week, I’ll meme you myself if I have to. Or I could turn you into an E-Girl, you did lose that bet.”

“I absolutely despise you,”

Remy laughed “no you don’t.”

“I really do, and you can’t make me e an e-girl.”

“No, but the people can, there’ll be a poll right here, vote should my intern be an e-girl for the day?”

Virgil groaned “times like these make me wish I was aborted.”

Remy laughed.

The rest of the video went ok and no one recognized Virgil.

Raccoon: I hate life Dukey: I saw, I voted yes, you’d make a wonderful e-girl hiss hiss motherfucker: so did I, suffer bitch Raccoon: you’re both traitors hiss hiss motherfucker: at least we’re not going to be an e-girl

Virgil was pissed the whole week. “What’s up with you Dr. Gloom?” Roman asked.

“Made a bet with Remus, and lost, I’m going to commit toaster bath.”

Roman made a face “why would you make a bet with my brother? nothing good comes out of it.”

“I thought I’d win, turns out he’s totally willing to eat deodorant if it means I’ll have to dress like an e-girl for a day and make a tiktok.”

Roman laughed “I cannot wait to see you dressed as an e-girl.”

“I can, I’ll be locking myself in my room all day.”

“I’m surprised Remus didn’t say you’d have to walk around in public like that.”

“He did, but he can’t see me, so I’ll be in my room.”

Remy was in front of the camera. “Time for you to become an e-girl!”

“I’d like to say a very special fuck you to everyone who voted yes and that after this I’m going to commit toaster bath,”

“It’s one day, you’ll be fine.”

“One day in my room with the door locked and curtains closed.”

Remy laughed “oh no gurl, you’ll be going out, I suggest you make plans.”

“WHAT? That wasn’t part of the deal!”

“I thought it would go without saying you’d have to go outside.”

Virgil just glared, happy his face wasn’t in frame.

The makeover took well over an hour. when it was over he looked almost unrecognizable, thankfully.

Virgil: Hey, anyone want to hang out, my dad’s kicking me out of the house for the day says I need to be “social” whatever the means Princey: So you do need to go out as an e-girl Virgil: unfortunately, anyone free? Logan: I have to study and Patton is out at the animal shelter volunteering, Roman? Princey: I’m free, meet you at the mall? Virgil: Sure

“Dad! I’m going to hang out with Roman see you later.”

“Have fun on your date!”

“dad! It’s not a date!” He slammed the door and left.

Virgil waited in a café for Roman. He got an iced coffee as always.

Someone shoved him while he was waiting in line.

“What are you? A boy or a girl make up your mind,”

Virgil didn’t look up from his phone “gender is a spectrum and gender norms are fake and I refuse to give into toxic musicality and if you have a problem with that you can leave because I already ordered and payed for my drink and am not leaving until I get it.”

“You can’t change your chromosomes, it’.” the guy said in a feeble attempt to get back at Virgil. basic biology

“How about you stop relying on basic biology and come back when you can argue the same statement with complex biology. If you really knew anything about biology more then the basics you’d know that scientifically there are at least three genders according to chromosomes. Male, female and intersex, and that once again biology isn’t fucking basic otherwise everyone would be a biologist. I can wear a skirt if I want to.”

He grabbed his coffee and left, Roman had arrived a few minutes prior.

“Damn emo nightmare I didn’t think you’d go all out on the E-girl look.”

Virgil shrugged “go big or go home, and I was kicked out for the day so I had to go big. Dad said I needed to go outside. For some reason, no idea why. I mean last time I left the house of my own free will not for school was only six months ago.”

Roman looked at him in doubt “I’m pretty sure you’ve been outside of your own free will sooner then six months ago.”

“Outside? Yes, of my own free will? not so much. Oooh hot tpic.”

Roman laughed.

“Shut up princey, they have cool stuff, including gay stuff.”

Roman shrugged “could be gayer.”

“You’ve been in hot topic?”

Roman shrugged “a few times with Remus, he makes me go, bribing me with Disney.”

Virgil smirked “why am I not surprised you can be bribed with Disney?”

He started looking around at My Chemical Romance t-shirts and other things. He also grabbed some purple hair dye.

“Where to next princey?”

Roman shrugged “Game stop?”

“Sure,”

They hung out at the mall for awhile longer before guess what another youtuber came.

It was Safiya doing a weird makeup science vlog.

“Virgil, planning on becoming a meme again?”

Virgil rolled his eyes “no, besides Safiya’s cool, I like her make up science videos. I just hate vloggers who do shitty content and make to much money through it.”

They left shortly after going their separate ways.

“How was your date?” Remy called from the basement.

“Not a date! You made me get out the house!”

“Come down here and finish filming!”

“So, how was your day of being an e-girl?”

“Got harassed about my gender and whatnot, I fucking destroyed the idiot, that was fun.”

“And who did you hang out with?”

“I told you and again, it wasn’t a date, everyone else was busy.”

Remy looked towards the camera in doubt.

“Well I’m never doing this again, I’m going to go change.”

The video went viral when it was posted several days later.

I saw a kid at the mall dressed like an e-girl a few days ago. They got harrassed at the Starbucks.

#sander sides #youtuber au #famous au #prinxiety #familial sleepxiety

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yeaahishowedupatyourparty · 3 years

Photo

Disney’s Truth Booth.♥️

You can read this as OOC or an IC interview, I really don’t mind!

GENERAL QUESTIONS

1. Please state your full name: “Disney Cosette Hamilton” 2. Does your name(s) have any kind of meaning? If so, what is it?: “My Mum never wanted Park and I to have the same name as any other children around at the time - there were a lot of Lauren’s and Rebecca’s and so on...My middle name is my Mum’s - and my own - favourite character from Les Miserables.” 3. Do you have any nicknames?: “None that are said to my face, ha.” 4. Where were you born? And in which country?: “I was born in auteuil, which is in Paris, France.” 5. What is your date of birth?: “The 15th December 1995.” 6. Of course, the following question; what is your Zodiac sign? “Sagittarius.” 7. Do you believe in Zodiac signs? “Yes, but I don’t want to hear what you have to say if you don’t know your Big Three. I know many, many, many Sagittarius people that I can’t relate to because our charts are so different.” 8. Where do you live? “Violet Springs, it isn’t permanent. I plan to move to New York after.” 9. What is your home situation like? (ex. do you live with your family? Your partner etc.?) “I live with Brody and my two daughters, Dixie and Fleur, as you guys all know.” 10. Do you have any siblings? “I have a twin brother and two younger sisters.” 11. Do you have any kind of allergies? “Nope.” 12. Do you own any pets? If so, what kind of pets are they? “We have a dog - a Pomeranian called Marilyn - and then two ragdoll cats; Eliza and Angelica.” 13. Why did you apply to St Jude’s? “It was really by chance. I was initially going to go to Cambridge, but I also wanted to keep going with my acting career and St Judes just felt like a better option.” 14. Did you had to go through a lot audition rounds? "No, I didn’t technically audition. I was accepted on my resume and my previous work I’d done before coming here.” 15. What is the current course you’re following? “Acting for screen and stage.” 16. If you can switch courses, which one would you switch to and why? “Probably producing and directing. I feel like that’s an area I want to look into at some point anyway, whether I switch courses or not.” 17. What is your proudest project you’ve done? “Gigi on Broadway...The last person to have the role before me was Audrey Hepburn. How do I top that?” 18. What is the proudest project that someone’s else has done? “I feel egotistical for saying so because I’m in it, but Mason’s Gossip Girl was really before it’s time. I personally haven’t starred in a project I’ve been as invested in as that.” 19. Do you like FanCons? “Not particularly.” 20. What do you like about FanCons? “Meeting genuine supporters who have something to say for themselves, rather than just screaming at you and shoving a camera in your face.” 21. What don’t you like about FanCons? “The screaming and excessive selfies.” 22. A fan memory that always stuck with you? Can be positive or negative. “I’ve really started to enjoy getting to know the fans who work at our store. It’s really good to see them grow as people and have their own dreams - rather than just chase around people who are already living theirs.” 23. Your favorite event so far? “Good question, I really love Springs Festival.” 24. What kind of event would you like to see in the future? “I’d like to see more international events; we’re based a lot in London and the USA.” 25. Would you recommend St Jude’s to friends, family. etc? “Yes, but I’d push for them to go to Liberty or Sulayman if they could.”

PERSONALITY QUESTIONS

26. What are your positive traits? “Loyal, an overachiever and I’d say I have a good eye for aesthetics.” 27. What are you negative traits? “I don’t have any negative traits. Just ones people can’t deal with.” 28. What would other people describe you as? “Probably a perfectionist.” 29. What are your pet peeves? “People who put on a front because they want to be seen as a certain way. It’s so annoying that people would rather spend their lives pretending than actually working on themselves.” 30. What makes you happy? “My children.” 31. What makes you upset? “Things that have no place or excuse to exist nowadays; racism, homophobia, I could go on.” 32. What is something you love? “I love acting and fashion, also travel.” 33. What is something you dislike? “People who completely disregard veganism without really looking into it.” 34. What are you strengths? “Standing by my word and making things work in my favour.” 35. What are you weaknesses? “I might have a compulsive shopping problem. It’s completely possible.” 36. A misconception people often think of you? “I think a lot of people assume that I’m conservative or my family is conservative. They’re always surprised when we believe in the rich paying higher taxes, being pro-immigrant, being allies to the LGTBQ+ community. People seem to assume we’re all anti-that stuff.” 37. Do you have any fears? “Poor hygiene.” 38. What scares you the most? “Being satisfied. Imagine just, stopping? I couldn’t.” 39. What do you do to entertain yourself? “Work or shop.” 40. What is your MBTI? “I’m an ENTJ.” 41. How do you deal with stress? “I shop, or sometimes exercise if I’m feeling it.” 42. Are you a determined person? Are you a stubborn person? “I am absolutely both.” 43. Do you consider yourself selfish? “Yes. It’s not a bad thing.” 44. Would you like to be different? “Absolutely not.” 45. Are you more introverted (focused on your inner world) or more extraverted (focused on other people and the outer world)? “I would say I’m more extroverted. Although, I don’t agree with those definitions. Being an extrovert is getting your energy from external places; time with friends, the world around you...Introverts tend to be drained by it and prefer solo activities.”

ROMANCE QUESTIONS

46. What is your sexual orientation? “Heterosexual.” 47. Current relationship status? “Married.” 48. When was your first kiss? “I was eleven and it was at our family’s Christmas party.” 49. Do you remember your first date? If so, with who was it? What did you do? “It was with Brody, we were thirteen and it was after filming High School Musical 1...It was something really lame, like the cinema, but at the time it was the best thing ever for both of us.” 50. Have you ever experienced heart-break? “Yes.” 51. Have you ever been in love? (If yes, skip to question 53) “Yes.” 52. If no, how so? 53. How do you know when you’re in love? “You just know, I think it’s different for everyone. The same way that you know if you’re sad, happy or excited. It’s nothing special compared to those other feelings - people just put for weight on it.” 54. What would be your ideal date? “I’ve had it and it’s something I’d rather keep private.” 55. What is your perspective on marriage? “If it’s for you, that’s good, but nobody should feel pressured. Its not something you have to do.” 56. (only for non-virgins) Are you a sub, dom or switch? “I’m not answering that.” 57. What do you think of relationships? “They aren’t necessary but again, if it is something you want then you should go for it.” 58. What do you think of one-night stands? “They’re fine.” 59. Are you still a virgin? “I’m not.” 60. Most attractive trait in a different person? “Confidence. I hate talking to people who don’t mind or have no real opinions. I’d rather be with somebody who’s my complete opposite but stands by what they say, than someone who just borrows the opinions of others.” 61. What matters most to you when it comes to a relationship? “Perseverance.” 62. Are you comfortable with PDA? Or would you be comfortable with PDA? “In moderation, it can come off tacky if you do it too much.” 63. Are you more of a type to be asked out or the type to ask the other out? “I don’t pursue people. I’m only ever pursued.” 64. How do you express love to the other? “If I’m allowing you to vent to me or generally be in my presence for longer than a few moments and have more than surface level conversations, I obviously love you.” 65. Who is your celebrity crush? “Prince Harry.”

GETTING DEEP QUESTIONS

66. Do you regret anything? “No, regret is the enemy of progress.” 67. Is there something you woule like to re-do? So, start all over again? “No.” 68. What is something you would never share with anyone? “Yes, a lot of my personal memories. Some things between my family and I are just that.” 69. When was the last time you cried? Why did you cry? “It’s one of those never share things from the last question.” 70. Most memorable event that happened in your time in St Judes? This could be anything: “Can you remember when we all almost died in the Caribbean?” 71. One thing you wish you could do all over? “Nothing, didn’t I answer this?” 72. Someone you miss? “I miss my Grandmother a lot, we don’t see her half as much as I’d like. Especially now we have the girls.” 73. Something you wish you could forget? “Again, there isn’t anything.” 74. Who has the biggest impact on you? “Probably my Dad, there’s a lot that he’s taught me that I think has helped me with success up until now.” 75. What is your perspective on love? Is it beautiful? Does it scare you? “Neither. Love is something that you either choose to pursue or you do not. My perspective of love is that it’s been romanticised and turned into something where people go above and beyond to prove that they are more in love than someone else...I think love and romance get far too blurred. One is a lot better than the other.” 76. What has hurt you in the past that you don’t want others to go through? “I’d rather not say.” 77. What is something you have gained, something you have lost and something you let go of during the past year? “I’ve gained two daughters, I’ve lost too much sleep and I’ve let go of drinking. I was never a huge drinker anyway, but I drink even less now and it’s nicer than you’d think.” 78. Have you ever lost a friend? do you wish you would still be friends? “Yes and no. Anybody I lose, I lose for a good reason.” 79. Do you have any triggers? What is the history behind these triggers and are they related to any disorders or mental illnesses? “That’s a very personal question.” 80. If you could meet your 16 year old self, what would tell them? “Not to have so much self-doubt because you’re becoming exactly who you’re supposed to be. I think my 16 year old self was definitely more clued up than the average 16 year old. Also, you don’t have to dress like Cher from Clueless everyday.”

RANDOM QUESTION ROUND

81. Summer or Winter? “Winter.” 82. Cats or dogs? “Cats, I love both but cats are more independent. If they were people, they’d be better.” 83. Beach or mountains? “The beach.” 84. Phone calls or texting? “Texting.” 85. Have you ever skipped class? “Yes.”

#sjudestruthbooth #itsdisney

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juleswolverton-hyde · 4 years

Text

The Words upon the Window Pane | Chanyeol

Genre: Smut, Angst (only a wee bit), PwP

Pairing: Auhor!Chanyeol x Reader

Warnings: Top!/Dom!Chanyeol, fingering, unprotected wall sex (ALWAYS do it safely, lads and lasses!), subtle dom/sub themes, swearing/cussing, dirty talk, love bites

Summary: The relation between Logic and Passion is often difficult for artists and certainly so when the involved parties dabble in words. Because language has the power to conceal the truth, to say what otherwise might not be said.

The words upon the window pane.

However, one night, a mouth is brave enough to at last utter them.

And to bring about unexpected consequences.

Author’s Note: The title is derived from the play of the same name by W.B. Yeats, who is, as you may or may not know, one of my favourite poets and greatest inspirations as of late. Furthermore, this is the first EXO smut piece to be written by this wee birdy, which hopefully shall not disappoint more experienced EXO-Ls.

All in all, I hope you enjoy the work of a feather.

Making a living as an author is not easy, especially when starting out and having only a single book to one’s name. However, Voice is not merely a literary tool to use in order to be heard, since it can also realistically become audible when speaking. All in all, it remains a fluent phenomenon and so it is of great benefit to storytellers to have mastery over it. To provide experiences that ignite vivid imagery thanks to simply creating an ambience with sound when not craftily doing the same on the page. Such is the talent of the author rapidly grown popular online due to a deep voice and funny personality, thousands of women drooling over the tailored experiences provided to them on multiple platforms.

But none of them has ever gotten the real deal, their sensual emotions remaining one-sided whereas those of a newbie novelist are answered.

Sometimes.

The relationship started after the romance department of the same publishing house contracting the famous erotic writer took a bold chance by offering a contract to an unknown name having just completed a manuscript about an innocent coffee shop romance. During the meeting with the assigned editor, icy pale locks wandered into the modern cafeteria and toward the table where a conversation about the next steps towards actual publishing took place, sitting down wordlessly and merely observing. Withal, basalt irises blatantly ignored rapidly flushing rosy cheeks on the adjacent seat, focused intently on the ones across the table that tried to maintain a steady composure.

Yet it crumbled bit by bit as genuine interest was shown during a spontaneous proposal to drink coffee together sometime after the editor held a brief round of introductions at the end of the important chat, which had gained an unintentional third participant. Piece by stiff piece got chipped away over warm beverages thereafter, talking about upcoming manuscripts and the professional giving a newbie a couple of tips to not stumble and, perhaps, fall without hopes of getting up.

And were entirely smoothed out among the sheets after the daring kiss when goodbye came on the first proper dinner date, Chanyeol leaning in without hesitance to rapidly turn a chaste caress of the cheek into sin once having been escorted safely to the front door of one’s own roof.

To make a heart fall for one which is unbound, according to the rumours spoken by the female tongues which all supposedly possess a sensual experience of sorts concerning the novelist. Notwithstanding, one can talk but not say anything, let alone the truth. Withal, the gossip has expanded while being in a strange type of relationship, always being the first to propose something to do and bleached smooth strands simply agreeing if the busy schedule allows it, of course. Spontaneous proposals for a movie night or trying out a new café are one-sided, the first time drinking coffee together being the sole occasion on which it came from the distant beloved. However, during the opportunities to be together, it never fails to feel genuine.

Sincere in spite of the mouths believing it is merely about sex, warning to get out now before it is too late.

The logical ship has left the safe haven.

It is too late.

Regardless of bravely sailing in an individual sea, the doubt can never be kept at bay since it lurks as a kraken in the darker waters coming up on the journey every now and again. After all, the fans of the deep voice catering supposedly “exclusive” experiences for them would loathe the fact their imaginary lover actually has a girlfriend. Moreover, the serpents roaming the office keep telling tales that steadily grow arms and legs, each limb stemming from the period in which minds were apart.

Those spans of time increase in frequency.

Lunch grows lonelier.

Days are spent in isolation.

Reassuring words do not hold significance on the floor of the publishing house nor on those of one of our apartments on a lucky night.

No acknowledgement.

All there is, is vagueness.

Just something.

Something.

Undefinable.

Certainly not pretty or comforting.

Empty. Yes, that is the best way to describe it.

Hollow, lonely, one-sided.

Unrequited.

And it takes away the hunger at the dinner table beneath the luxurious roof, the expensive wine and home-cooked meal using high-quality ingredients holding as much inherent value as a shilling in the gutter. So the fork is put down, the bite laboriously swallowed and focus averted from the porcelain plate presenting little yet seeming too stacked.

‘Baby, are you alright?’ Head cocked to the side in wonder, Chanyeol stops mid-bite, sensing something is off.

Something.

Always something is off.

Right now, it finds a voice in a lowly muttered remark as disappointed fingers shove the still full plate and cutlery away as far as possible. The stomach can live with the stone in it, like the heart slowly freezing itself thanks to the vicious tales of betrayal can continue to exist in ice. After all, even this week’s audio consisting of ‘’sexy’’ unboxing ramblings and testing out toys sent by mistresses somewhere else is but a mere drop in the overflowing bucket. ‘I’m not hungry.’

The limit has been reached.

End of the line.

Of this.

Us.

If there even ever has been a happy chronicling couple.

‘You’ve barely eaten.’ The unsuspecting fork picks up a perfectly grilled asparagus, endeavouring the feed a soul starved of happiness. A perfectly useless attempt at making things right for the culprit knows very well what goes on behind the scenes that are enacted every time at the workplace, the little faked though credible moments of two youngsters being solely friends but perhaps a bit more. No one knows for sure, but they do assume. Gossip has a way of being heard, even when feigning to ignore it in favour of personal fantasies. ‘At least have a few more vegetables.’

‘Did it...’ A wry smile carves itself on a face which is on the edge of tears, remembering every word said at the collective coffee machine in the cafeteria alongside the lovesick comments on every digital upload and equally sensual reaction to a novel novel. How can the detailed storyteller not notice the burning water droplets searing their way to the lash line?

Begging.

Begging to fall.

To be noticed.

Because they have had to hide so bloody long in loneliness.

Denied.

A significant detail.

‘Did it mean anything?’ God forbid that the words spilt between the sheets, on dates and in secrecy in the coffee corner did not hold any meaning. Withal, knowing how writers are for the craft is part of one’s own personality, there are no better tricksters. Words can be made pretty, cunningly serving to conceal the ugly truth.

‘What? Did what mean anything? Babe, what are you on about?’ The uncomprehending gravely worried furrowed brows relax, raven irises softening as they discover the tale of the Ice Queen’s heart and damnably igniting the thawing process. Looks can kill, as is the word on the street, and the big pale wolf knows it judging by the gentle smile only reserved for his foolish mistress. ‘You’ve been listening to gossip again. Look, I’ll say it again and I still mean it. I love you, Y/N. Only you. You ought to know that by now.’

The supposedly well-meaning palm resting between the abandoned dishes is not lovingly covered, digits remaining apart instead of entwining in blissful union. Instead, the chair is pushed back as the napkin that formerly rested on the lap is viciously thrown onto the table surface. Voice is barely controlled, dangerously close to cracking yet forced to maintain steady fury. ‘Don’t fucking lie to me! I know this means nothing.’

‘Means nothing? This means nothing?’ The actions are fiercely mimicked, the pleading tone in speech overruling the fabricated calm demeanour. ‘It does, babe. It really does.’

‘Yeah, right. As if you haven’t said that to one of those horny dolls who gladly listen to their fantasy boyfriend or read about all the wonderful things you’d do to them. What did you call them again? Your honeys?’ There is no stopping the jeering guided by the incomparable ache rendering every nerve paralyzed, an alternative ego who feels betrayed rising with every second of the outburst.

In the end, she, too, is one of many.

I am nothing.

‘Babe, please-’ Agonizingly following footsteps attempt to reason, begging to stay for a proper vis-á-vis to resolve this “problem” while making their way to the hallway.

Evidently without success. ‘Oh, piss off. I’m sure you had others in the time I was gone.’ The searing tears on lashes in the wee hall finally stream down the cheeks, lost in bittersweet memories of a time ruled by naivety. When every touch was so certain of love, felt protective and was believed to be sincere.

Notwithstanding, that was then.

This is now.

‘It really meant something to me, you know? I fucking gave myself to you because I stupidly trusted you, Chan! You were my first.’ A shake of the head brings about enough steadiness to remain coherent in speech, to at least keep a total breakdown at bay a little longer. The battle is almost won, a little bit more perseverance needs to be put in before all might become actually well. ‘But I could’ve, no, should’ve known better. So fuck off and leave me alone.’

Just as a hand reaches towards the knob of the front door, a firm palm wraps painfully around the left wrist. Once that power was loved, but now it is just that: hurt.

And it wants… needs to be left behind.

To make it pay for the solitude.

The agony needs to face the consequences.

‘No.’

The pain in the shape of the man who was believed to make up the world.

Stupid.

We both only have our stories to speak honestly in because they are the sole place where it is possible to be true.

Funny how a broken heart ignites a sense of creativity to exploit and there is a sudden haste to make use of it. Or so the mind wants this to be the reason behind the futile struggle for freedom for the real reason is the simple need to get away before breaking the character of the hard-headed sneering Ice Queen and leave oneself in fragments on the battlefield. ‘Let. Me. Go.’

A vicious tug makes feet stumble away from the entryway and slam into the wall opposite the stairs, Chanyeol’s face mere inches away and obsidian irises burning with sorrowful rage that has grown from incomprehension. All acting halts at once, alarmed breath coming out ragged as the powerful gentleman is sought frantically on a quietly raging beautiful expression. ‘I won’t. Not until you finally listen to me and know who you belong to, young lady.’

Slender digits clad in a chic ink-black jacket roughly push aside underwear, unapologetically disappearing beneath the skirt to exert sexual dominance as lips powerfully nullify all chances at protest. ‘This is mine. Only mine. All I can think about these days, so much so I can’t even write without giving you a role in my novel.’

The possessive growling fuels the heat below, slowly reducing the hurtful stretch, as all vocabulary is lost in the marks left behind on the throat by stark white teeth. Miraculously, the ability to resist the temptation remains although it falters and starts to stutter in the strong secure warmth of a familiar palm at the end of the spine. ‘I- I don’t be- believe you.’

‘Who do you think is more credible?’ A rough mind-boggling thrust goes paired with the branding being interrupted to snarl against a slightly open mouth, dominant despite oddly affectionately resting foreheads against one another and chuckling as haphazard fluttery palms rest on broad shoulders. ‘The man who loves you or some women you don’t even know?’

In spite of being barely able to respond, a piece of hateful Logic remains and is capable of jeering and mocking the question that should have served to set things right. ‘But y- you could’ve fucked.’

‘I didn’t. Listen to me, young lady.’ The hand that formerly rested on the small of the lower back rises to envelop the throat, forcing a lock of gazes while enchantingly cutting off access to air. ‘Ever since we met, I’ve been yours. I’d never give anyone else a role in my novels because nobody inspires me like you do.’

‘D- Don’t stop.’ There is too much deliria to persist in protesting, each movement beneath fabric erasing the thought of resisting the platinum wolf as soon as it arises. Instead, it gives rise to memories of beautiful naive nights that make up the horror and delight of an insane mistress of letters, both inside the pages and outside.

Throwing the heart back into bittersweet love.

‘Ah, there she is. There’s the helpless little slut I know.’ With an ashamedly wet noise, slim fingers undo the bodily connection that had been greedily gone along with, leading to an inevitable displeased whine that evokes a lovely dark chuckle.

A nudge of the nose asks to follow the focus of the seemingly only sane mind, see what the writer wants to be noticed without resorting to loathsome spoon-feeding. It is all in the details, that is where the heart of the tale lies. ‘See that?’

Lashes flutter innocently as gaze wanders lower and lower to restricting dusk-shaded denim, wordlessly remarking on the considerable outlined shape that the idiotic heart and persona meant to have walked out the door greatly want to exploit. ‘Only you do that to me, Y/N.’ An almost sweet peck on the forehead turns attention upward briefly before receiving another on the lips, after which a command makes hands act in too enthusiastic desirable greed. ‘Undo the zipper.’

It takes little time nor effort to force down sturdy and elastic fabric to bare burning desire to the chill air in the hallway. And it takes even less than that very same moment to be pinned against the wall once again, thighs supported by iron hands promising to never let go, and directly connect in body and soul.

Willingly.

Beautifully.

‘Fuck, every time is like the first. I remember our, grm, hrm, first night. How you begged me to go harder-’ the speed accelerates, snarls growing more and more savage with every advance as behaviour, too, becomes wonderfully harsher, ‘rough you up. All the while acting like an innocent doe, turning me on. Mewling, pinned to the bed, forced to take me. God, I love it when you’re like that. Helpless. Powerless. Submissive.’

Every word is accentuated by an animalistic thrust, a sweet kiss on the side of the neck contrasting with the teeth leaving behind plum marks of possession at equal intervals. A low rumble of delight at platinum locks being pulled on vibrates in the buff chest lovingly keeping the spine against the wall, rejoicing in the flowing waterfall of mere meek noises.

Exactly as we were during the first night.

Loving now as we had before.

Honestly.

Snarling sweet nothings against skin while erasing every thought in the chase for the satisfaction of primal desire. When tears of analyzed sadness turned into those of unadulterated pleasure. ‘Crying as you take my cock deep inside that dripping little pussy.’

‘Cha- Chanyeol-’ There are no words to break through the haze of bittersweet nostalgia, leaving the sentence unfinished. It does not matter for all focus is turned towards reaching temporary enlightenment as fast as possible in the most savage manner.

‘Cum on that cock, baby. Cream that fucking cock.’

Any sense of resistance that somehow managed to linger, loathing Logic deeming the act wrong in every aspect and begging for liberation, is erased in an instant as the command is pressed onto firm lips.

It is wonderful.

Incredibly gorgeous.

Having Chanyeol wrap his storytelling palm around the throat once more as the other presses bodies together until there cannot possibly be any distance left. Wolfish grunts fall from cushiony lips, chanting maddening “mine, mine, mine”s, while sprinting during the final bit of the primitive race, soon reaching the white light found between shivering thighs.

Who are crying silently in a paradoxical mixture that cannot be kept alive consisting of sensual delight, heartbroken self-hatred and rage directed towards loved pale locks.

Tears to, fortunately, be noticed once reason returns enough to no longer be under the influence of the desirable beast beneath the skin. Henceforth, it is the incredible author who affectionately wipes away the droplets running over the cheeks as onyx irises soften in comprehension of pain. ‘Hey, don’t cry, Y/N. Remember what I promised you?’

A head shake shows ignorance because there have been a great number of promises until now, which is acknowledged by the low chuckle that never fails to allow the usual guard to be let down and now disrupts the quiet panting betraying a sliver of glad exhaustion. The simple sound never fails to make the chest puff a little in pride and veins to bask in a loving warmth, even after being frozen in place without hopes of crumbling thanks to the vivid rumours floating around the office. ‘I know I have promised you a lot, but one thing is that I’d never make you cry because I’d never dare to break your heart. I genuinely love you, seriously am head over heels for you. Can you believe me when I say that?’

It is hard to respond negatively when bodies are still one and foolishly trusted palms envelop the cheeks, resulting in wavering speech on the verge of cracking. Withal, a little bit of strength is gathered from the tight grip on defined biceps engraved with ink. ‘I wa- want to, but... the gossip...’

‘Listen.’ A long tender kiss muffles the sobs aching to be released alongside the gasp at the sudden hollow feeling when the physical spell is lifted. Another one asks for focus on talking things over instead of paying attention on the faint sound of liquid dripping onto the hallway tiles. ‘You crying makes me want to cry because it hurts me to see you like this. It really does, babe. And people will always talk, but, perhaps, it might help if we go public? I have an interview soon.’

‘People will think I’m only dating you for your money.’ No matter if a statement will be made, the way of thought lies outside the influence of words. Authors know this first and foremost for each sentence that is penned down fails to fully convey what might be going on in vivid imagination and thus fails to be entirely understood.

A bittersweet smile tugs on the corners of the mouth as messy snow white locks fall obscure the sight of lips drawn into a stern line speaking melancholically, mocking oneself. ‘I wouldn’t mind if you’d do.’

With more fierceness than expected, an answer to the rhetorical assumption bursts from a panicked mouth uncensored, clutching the soft fabric of clothes as if not doing so will induce an unbridgeable abyss. ‘But I don’t!’

‘I know that, Y/N. I know.’ Thumbs start to caress the sides of the face, somberly smoothing the anxious sorrow in self-reflection. ‘You know I hate losing, be it games or bets, but- but I- I-‘ Breaths grow short as tears start to brim in the corner of beautiful almond-shaped eyes. Hands fall away from the cheeks to wrap around the middle, the waist caught in a sturdy grip. Foreheads rest against each other and the arms of a claimed mistress wrap around the neck, fingertips playing with the pale strands at the back. ‘I would scorn myself if I’d lose you.’

‘You’ll lose readers if we go public.’ After all, not everyone enjoys a real life romance and certainly not those imagining one individual as their partner while he is, in truth, already faithfully bonded to another woman.

‘Doesn’t matter, I don’t care. If they’re true fans, they’ll be happy for us.’ Chanyeol’s voice has renovated its ocean deep steadiness, tiny lights appearing out of nowhere to illuminate a sudden bright cheery idea in a nightly gaze creating a bit of distance. ‘You know what? I’ll buy you a ring and a matching one for myself so everyone can see you’re mine.’ A palm shows itself from behind the small of the back to grab the left wrist and trace over the second-to-last digit. ‘To wear on this finger.’

‘You’d do that?’

‘Yes.’ The breathless chuckle is strangely melancholic yet delighted, the curious combination taking over demeanour entirely. ‘Yes, of course. Anything to keep you with me.’ The mere embrace suddenly turns into an inescapable hug, broad shoulders blocking out the world that wants to be temporarily forgotten. ‘I want you with me, only you. Please, stay with me. Here.’ The nose often kissed in the morning or cheekily out of sight of the publishing house staff nuzzles the side of the neck, whispering against the warm skin. ‘I want you to move in.’

‘Is that a wish or a command? I’m my own person, you know?’ The weak attempt at humour is seemingly appreciated, Chan tangibly chuckling before sighing in relief when being kissed on the top of the head.

‘There she is, there’s my good clever girl.’ Foreheads come to rest against each other once more in the air scented by whatever remains of dinner, perspiration and our perfumes combined, creating a weird musky howbeit fruity undertone. The chin is lifted by a curled finger after calmly being put to rest against the wall instead of being fully at the mercy of the writer’s engraved arms. ‘But you know very well what I mean, young lady.’

‘I do,’ fingertips bashfully run over the side of the storyteller’s neck, leaving behind a growling trail of anticipating goosebumps before rising to comb through pale strands, ‘sir.’

‘Don’t.’

A peck.

‘Tease.’

A kiss.

‘Me like that.’

Lip caught between teeth.

And freed once having clearly asserted dominance. ‘I’m yours.’ Although the inquiring peck on the cheek does not partake in the sensual teasing but is severe in character. ‘And you’re mine?’

Catching on to the need for credibility, the erotic novelist acknowledges it while sweetly yet sincerely murmuring. ‘Entirely yours. Not just in stories or audios, in real life as well. As long as possible, until we no longer breathe. This I promise.’

And thus this part of our tale ends, the fragment of the middle part leading to the end.

Of that which ink cannot fully capture on paper, in sounds or on skin.

Withal, it is not necessary because we have each other for inspiration and retellings.

Musing.

In love.

In medias res.

#ksmutclub #EXO #EXO smut #EXO x Reader #Chanyeol #Park Chanyeol #LOEY

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hamtigers · 4 years

Text

So for some reason I woke up today thinking about an RP community I used to be a part of for awhile years ago. So I just wanna give a shot out to anyone who used to be a part of the KH RP board Kingdoms Unleashed awhile back, especially before they shut it down and re-opened it. I tried to come back once after it reopened but I just... couldn’t stay inspired enough for threads with the character I returned on and the fact that they didn’t allow OCs anymore honestly killed a lot of the appeal in the forum for me. And during typing this I just noticed my bookmark for it still exists, but the board itself has been deleted. So I suppose I may as well delete the bookmark.

more specifics about my feelings (and info about the board for anyone uninvolved but curious) below the cut because I am going to ramble A LOT. Like... this post is gonna be hella long, so I’m sorry if read-mores don’t work on mobile still. Also sorry if this shows up in people’s searches since tumblr picks words out of the whole body and not just the tags.

I honestly feel like I’ve made a post like this once before in the past but I still... want to make it again, because I’m feeling incredibly nostalgic about it. Kingdoms Unleashed was a KH-centric RP board on proboards that I lucked out and got into very early on in its life thanks to @highly-radioactive-nerd stumbling across it. I know a few buds from the board also were mutuals on tumblr, but I don’t know how many of you guys still use this site. But anyway, the big draw of the board was that you could bring in characters from outside of KH as long as they “fit the feel” of kingdom hearts, which they ruled as being: from a disney property, from a videogame, from an anime/manga, or from a similiarly styled media(as the catchall for allowing characters from, say, avatar the last airbender in despite it being a western-made cartoon). This was before the big starwars and marvel mergers, which is funny to me because western superheroes were a given example of what wasn’t allowed. Every character (whether they were from KH or not) had to go through an application process, and it was the main way they screened for quality control in RP and so that they could make sure no one was bringing in any super overpowered characters (the quality bar wasn’t like, elitist or anything, you just had to show a basic grasp and consistency on the character’s personality and that you weren’t gonna post a bunch of one-liners) The minimum required activity level to keep a character was pretty lenient too, you just had to make sure you made a post like... somewhere around once or twice every two week period, with activity checks being made once a month? Unless you gave notice of an extended absence. (common reasons included travelling w/o internet access since smartphones weren’t common yet, computer problems, health reasons, and needing to study for classes and exams)

But on top of all this, they also allowed OCs and fan characters under some small stipulations. The big ones I remember are: -No keyblade wielders to avoid an over saturation of keyblades -No vastly overpowered characters. This applied to canon characters too though. Like... one person got to have a touhou character only because her powers got stripped down a lot and they had already proven themselves as a long time responsible RPer on the forum. -No pre-existing ties to canon characters. They could know OF someone if it made sense for their background! But they couldn’t have already met them personally. Anything that develops in character after that is free game of course, but if a canon character got dropped then picked up by someone else, they had no obligation to pick up where the previous player left off. This bullet point is gonna be super important in my later talking! -This is kind of a sub-thing of the last one, but nobodies also couldn’t (officially) join org-XIII under any circumstance.

One of the GMs even admitted in the forum chat at one point that they were on the fence about allowing OCs to begin with, but they were glad they did because of the quality of OCs that got brought in.

The place ended up flourishing into a VERY healthy roleplay forum, with the rare drama cases either being resolved or with the instigator getting thrown out if they didn’t settle down. My favorite part was that unlike other RP places I’ve been on, there wasn’t a massive posse schism or canon/OC schism. No, people RPed canon characters with OCs and fancharacters and characters from different games or anime constantly, to the point where several canon characters ended up in romantic relationships with peoples’ OCs.

I loved it. My characters never ended up among those dating canon characters, but it made me so genuinely happy to see a forum so openly embracing fan characters and OCs to that degree. I was used to people only wanting to facilitate ships they already had in their minds, or making fun on FC/canon ships in other places that it just genuinely made me happily astounded to see the forum grow into a place where that was common and other RPers would actually like... get invested in and follow these romances they weren’t a part of despite not knowing the OC.

I still occasionally wonder, however, if the forum’s overall activity hadn’t dwindled down, if I would have landed a ~dream ship~ with a canon character and my own fancharacter. A bunch of people had been recently bringing in FFIV characters (which is my fav FF not counting XIV) so I decided to take a chance on bringing in my fan character, Ayletta. This was shortly after I had lost inspiration for Rydia and dropped her so that another fan of the character could have her instead and hopefully do her more justice. Ayletta is a physically disabled girl (can’t stand or walk for more than very short periods of time) that relies on her Chocobo to get around and dreams of having her own chocobo ranch. What didn’t get included in her profile or mentioned by me anywhere on forum was that I "secretly” ship her with Kain.

Guess who just happened to be the only person that joined my first thread I started as her was? I was immediately ecstatic, even more so when I saw how quickly they got along even with someone else controlling him. What really got me and left me wondering what ~could have been~ is what they included in his described thoughts, but not in his spoken words. The RPer drew parallels between Ayletta/her chocobo and Kain’s father/his dragon to the point where he immediately was in awe and respect of the bond between Ayletta and her bird. This was a facet I had never even realized or considered between them before then, and only added to the fuel of my own thoughts. The thread was fairly short lived, but there was definitely plans for them both to meet up again later on which unfortunately never got to happen.

#Ham rambles #wall of text #long post #just reminiscing #god I miss being in good RP communities #I'm just too much of a weenie to seek out new ones #and too exhausted by previous failures to try starting my own #yeah I just searched my blog and I made a post about this same shit 4 years ago lmao #but I'm still posting this new one because I ALREADY TYPED IT UP DAMMIT

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faneliacosplay · 5 years

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Top 10 of 2018

C2018 was a year is this nicest way I can sum it up. My precious fur-baby passed away after fighting a horrible illness and is in a happier place, my health went crazy (still is as of writing), and I finally broke free from an abusive toxic person who had been controlling me for a huge chunk of my life. Despite the bad things that happened, I want to focus on the good things of 2018. One of things I began doing in January of 2018 was at the end of every week, I would write down all of the good things that happened to me, be it sewing, watched a good movie, spending time with a friend, etc. So without further ado, here’s my Top 10 of 2018! (I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S ALREADY MARCH!!)

1. The Ancient Magus’ Bride

- I’ve been a lifelong fan of Beauty and the Beast-like stories ever since I watched the classic Disney film. The manga kept popping up in my recommendations for the majority of 2017 and I remember seeing a poster at my local theater for a premiere showing of the first 3 episodes of the then-upcoming anime (I have since regretted not going to this showing). I finally caved and bought the first two volumes of the manga and literally went back to the store two days later and bought the next 2 volumes. I’ve always been a very picky person with my romance be it movie, novel, anime, manga, etc., but this quickly became one of my favorites with it’s excellent world-building, relationships, and don’t even get me started on how gorgeous the animation is! If you want an excellent Beauty & the Beast adaptation, you won’t be disappointed. (I am unashamed of crying happy tears in public while watching the final episode)

2. Satoshi Kon’s Filmography

- My New Year’s resolution was to watch all of the late Satoshi Kon’s works, starting with his debut film Perfect Blue. I had wanted to watch this film for several years, and it did not disappoint. (I kept spamming for people to go and see it when it got a theatrical re-release in Fall 2018) Next was Kon’s final project Paprika, which I watched about 3 times in May and many times over 2018 and still notice something new every time I watch it. Finally, I watched *the* film that I have wanted to watch for many, many years (since 2004 to be exact): Millennium Actress. I was not prepared for how moving this film would be with its themes of the past vs. present, how an ordinary encounter can lead to something so much more, and lastly: love transcends time. If you could only watch one of Satoshi Kon’s works, please choose to watch Millennium Actress. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to watch Kon’s other two works, but I aim to in 2019 (along with reading his works)

3. Slayers

- I watched some of Slayers back in middle school and in summer 2016, but never took off with it until in 2018. I knew I would like this funny series about the adventures of a fiery sorceress, dumb as a stump swordsman, optimistic hero-in-training, and an overly-serious chimera, but I had no idea it would become one of my top 10 favorite anime series! I haven’t laughed so much with an anime in a while, and I greatly appreciated it since my fur-baby passed away and this was one of the last anime we watched together. There’s just something about 90s fantasy anime that’s just so appealing. I will throw in that while I love the tv series, the films are worth watching too, with The Motion Picture being my favorite. If you need something to cheer you up, I highly recommend Slayers!

4. Venom

- Confession: I did not have high hopes for this movie. I was the only one among my friends who was uninterested in this film whenever we would watch the trailers/promos/etc. Eventually after this movie came out, my friends and best friend convinced me to see it. My sociology buddy told me “This movie wasn’t marketed right! Go see it!!” and another told me “This is the best action rom-com of 2018.” The next day my family asked me if I wanted to see it and Bohemian Rhapsody (also an excellent film) and I said “Sure!” This film has since spawned never-ending jokes between me and my best friend. (I ended up making her a Venom scarf for Christmas!) If you’re trying to get someone to see this film, don’t show them the trailers depicting it as a dark, gritty, action thriller, show them the home video trailer depicting it as a rom-com because that’s exactly what it is. I still can’t believe that a movie about a human falling in love with a man-eating gooey alien is real.

5. The Shape of Water

- “2017 will be remembered as the year men screwed up so badly, women started dating fish.”- Jimmy Kimmel, 2018 Oscars. I’m beginning to see a pattern for stories of humans falling in love with monsters. My mom and I wanted to see this film after the trailer dropped in summer 2017 and were disappointed when the film didn’t play here. However, sometime in February 2018, this film played in our town for one weekend, so we dashed to the theater. I don’t even know where to start with how beautiful this film is and since several people I know still haven’t watched it I’ll just state this: Please watch this film. It earned the 4 Oscars it won. (It earned all 10 it was nominated for!)

6. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse

- I almost didn’t see this film. 2018 was a pretty hectic year for me and I didn’t really keep up with films/entertainment news, so I saw no trailers for this film (except for a really short tv ad). All I knew was what my best friend had said: “Brianna, let’s go see Spider-verse. In 3D.” (y’all, 2018 was the year of listening to my best friend) It was so nice not only to see a different Spider-Man, a diverse cast, a well-curated soundtrack, and a completely new style of animation that makes you feel as though you’re reading/watching a comic book??? Sign me up! I’m so happy this film won the Oscar!!

7. Macross Frontier Movies

- I’ve fallen deep into the Macross hole in the past year or two and have no plans of crawling out. The 2008 series Macross Frontier was my first and favorite entry in the series so far. I knew that there were two recap/alternate retelling films made, so when I was free one day I watched them and I was really surprised that I enjoyed them more than the tv series!? I haven’t really mentioned this, but my big problem with the tv series of Frontier was it’s ending being not too good. I don’t want to ruin it since Macross (particularly made after 2001) is a bit unknown in the USA, but I will say that if you want to get into this franchise, start with the Frontier movies or with the iconic Macross: Do you remember love? film. The music is just as good as the tv series, same with the costumes, and the writing is much better! The performance of Northern Cross at the climax of The Wings of Goodbye was really moving. Not “Do you remember love?” moving, but pretty close.

8. Sailor Moon Theatrical Double-Feature

- Everyone who knows me knows that I’ve loved Sailor Moon for pretty much all of my life (ever since the 3rd & 4th seasons aired on Toonami back in the day!) A holiday tradition for me was to watch the 2nd theatrical every Christmas Eve, unfortunately my two VHS tapes finally gave out in 2016. Thanks to Viz Media, this past summer saw theatrical re-releases of all 3 Sailor Moon films. Shockingly, my local theater was showing the films subbed so my mom and I bought our tickets right away. It was so surreal seeing these films that I grew up with on the big screen, and I know non-Sailor Moon fans won’t get this, but hearing/watching the whole “Moon Revenge” sequence in the theater was so intense. This part never got to me as a kid for some weird reason and I had no idea I was crying until my mom pointed it out at the end of the film. With the 2nd film, seeing Luna transform into a human was emotionally moving as always, just 10 times more since it was on the big screen with that nice surround sound system. That night when I got home, I didn’t get any sleep since I still couldn’t believe that this happened. The now 20+ years old Sailor Moon movies got released for the first time in USA theaters. This is an experience I’m going to remember for the rest of my life.

9. Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card Arc

- I was so excited when a sequel to Cardcaptor Sakura was announced. Like Sailor Moon, I watched this series as the heavily-edited Cardcaptors on Toonami. When I got older and learned that there was more anime out there besides the ones I saw on TV, I went back and watched Cardcaptor Sakura to get the whole, magical story and even read the manga, which I believe is the greatest children’s manga ever made. I loved every single moment of the new series and felt as though I were watching another episode of the classic series. The only thing that felt different was that the animation is no longer hand-drawn. (it’s still good) When you reboot or make a sequel to a series be it tv, film, or book, sometimes it’ll miss the charm that made it so enjoyable in the first place. Clear Card thankfully still carries the charm its predecessor had.

10. Little Witch Academia

- I had started this anime around holiday 2017 but didn’t finish it until early 2018. This was one of the most optimistic series I’d ever had the pleasure of watching. I don’t want to compare the two, but the inspirational message that Kiki’s Delivery Service gave me when I was 10, was the exact inspirational message you will find in Little Witch Academia. (and that I needed to hear as a 20-year-old) I was starting to get a bit depressed and losing confidence in myself with my science grades getting lower no matter what I tried, as well as other things in my personal life. After dropping Science, I had a long wait between classes, so I decided to start watching Little Witch Academia again. Seeing our protagonist Akko trying her best at flying a broom and failing was me with my science grades, but her determination to get her broom just a few centimeters off the ground was so inspiring to watch. After this I watched the other Studio Trigger works I had yet to see, and while they’re all good in their own way, none of them have left the imprint LWA left on me. Sometimes when I get frustrated or lack confidence in myself, I tell myself Shiny Chariot’s words of wisdom that motivated Akko throughout the series: “Never forget your beautiful dreams. Believing is your magic!!”

#2018 #2018 in review #The Ancient Magus Bride #millennium actress #satoshi kon #slayers anime #lina inverse #venom #the shape of water #into the spider verse #macross frontier #sailor moon #cardcaptor sakura clear card #clear card arc #little witch academia #brianna talks #slayers

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amazildoessomethingstupid · 5 years

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Chapter 95: Love Again

Hello folks, we’re back! I know I said I wouldn’t touch this series again, until I needed some motivation for working on False Idol but I’ve decided to kind of add an addendum to the rule. Now whenever I miss an update, I must read one chapter of BCB and make a rant in order to make up for the lack of content as well as being punishment for myself. As some of you know, if you read the author’s notes in the most recent page of False Idol; I had my wisdom teeth removed a week or so ago. Which kept me out of it and ended up making me miss an update. And as such we must pick up where we left off, here! And boy is this chapter going to be interesting!

See? This guy gets it!

We start the chapter off wi-

Oh my god, what’s wrong with your face?

Anyway, Daisy’s talking about her upcoming birthday party an-

OH MY GOD! What’s wrong with your face?

But anyway, Paulo’s doing his usual shtick now of giving Daisy that sub-zero cold shoulder. This time, by diverting his attention away to some random girl next to him and flirting with her. While at the same time treating us to a classic meme.

Oh Paulo, you silly fool. In either case, this part drags on a bit too long with Paulo remarking things a bit brash but par for the course for his new passive aggressive nature towards Daisy. It wouldn’t be too bad actually, if it was just this page but…

Oh…

Hello, Madison.

Your input and presence is always welcome.

It sure is interesting seeing her interact with new bitchy Paulo...

So basically, Madison is upset about Paulo flirting with the random girl. And she’s acting as a sledgehammer to drive the point home that we’re supposed to be upset about Paulo flirting with this random girl, even though we’ve clearly seen the context of the situation and know he was doing it primarily to be a passive aggressive douche and ignore Daisy. But oh I guess, this is still a bad thing. It just seems forced, I mean if you wanted to make this more serious why not have this sort of thing as its own chapter? Spend time showing us more of this to help strengthen this motivation, the only other time I can think of where Paulo was leering at someone else was with Sandy, before that was Boy Toy where it was more about Paulo trying to reaffirm his sexuality than anything. And you can’t really blame the guy for not wanting to tie the knot. Given his track record for romance, every time things start to get serious, or he tries to put his all into a relationship, it just crumbles apart and he ends up losing that friend and the bridge is never repaired. Of course he’d be scared the same would happen to Rachel if he was to try and do the same with her and he doesn’t want that. But why bring this up now? This whole drama should be its own chapter, why is it forced in here in this chapte-

Oh…I see…

youtube

I’m at the bottom of that bottle. Numb my senses, drown my sorrows, and I’m like “oh damn I’d done it again, oh damn I’d done it again.”

But back to the comic, we see Taeshi experimenting with some advanced paneling techniques. Specifically, out of box paneling with Daisy.

And as a fellow “artiste” I see that this is clearly meant to be a visual connection for how Daisy’s mood and the tone of the comic shifts from this scene to the last time she did this in the start of the chapter. As well as serving as a scene transition smoothly ushering us to this part of the story. It’s very well done, and quite brave.

Or perhaps, this is just Daisy finally achieving critical mass, and the comic can no longer contain her girth! She’s breaking out of the comic! She can not be contained! EVERYONE RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! SHE’S GOING TO KILL US ALL!

Okay, but all jokes aside, I actually like this scene. We see Daisy talk about her frustrations and guilt with Paulo, and Mike gives some helpful advice as we see them actually trying to work through this problem!

Oh shut the fuck up, Abbey! Mike for once is giving some good advice! Yes! Remember kids, talk things out and try to work through it! And this scene really helps us to empathize with Daisy, I can especially relate to her for this.

Don’t look at me like that Mike. You don’t know me.

In either case, I do appreciate this talk. It seems like Taeshi is finally having the characters take a proactive approach to their drama an-

It her! The moment we’ve all been waiting for! LOOK!

LOOK SAM! IT’S LUCY! LUCY’S BACK! ALL THE SUFFERING, ALL THE YEARS OF BULLSHIT HAS FINALLY BROUGHT US TO THIS! WE CAN FINALLY GET ANSWERS! WE WILL KNOW THE TRUTH! WHAT HAPPENED TO HER! WHERE SHE’S BEEN! THE CHARACTERS CAN GET CLOSURE! IT’S HERE! WE’VE MADE IT! ALL THESE YEARS, WE’VE FINALLY MADE IT!

And look! All the friends are gathering round and are just as excited! That’s right Mike! Cower in the corner there, this isn’t about you! (wait, how the fuck did he get back off to there when she was apparently inches from his face?) But…something doesn’t seem right.

And I’m not just talking about fucking creepy ass Abbey over here, looming over everyone with that ominously dead smile. Wait, what’s that?

Oh my god, what’s wrong with her face?

OH MY GOD! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOUR FACE?!

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That literally looks like she doesn’t have a mouth, but rather she just took lipstick and smeared it on her face to look like a smile. Alright time for the big rant, here it comes! Because it was at this moment, that I realized this chapter was the birth of what is my personal biggest artistic pet peeve for BCB. FUCKING TRIANGLE MOUTHS! LOOK AT THIS SHIT! WHY?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? You know how much I hate this face? I HATE IT MORE THAN I HATE THE GIGANTIC HEADS! THAT’S HOW MUCH I HATE THESE MOUTHS! Because it’s not just lazy as fuck, but even more than that, it’s not just distracting, but it ruins what should be a very heartfelt and emotional scene! How the hell am I supposed to take any of these faces seriously?!

These triangle mouths are so fucking bad, that I can’t appreciate this scene and what’s happening. I can’t fully empathize or read how this character is feeling because of these mouths! It’s not just ugly, but it feels forced! It takes me out of the scene, because that’s not a normal expression! It’s the same problem I had with the XD face, Paulo made here.

Well okay, I had a much bigger problem going on with this panel than the expression. But I can accept this here, or at least overlook it, because this is meant to be a joke. It’s a stupid and unfunny joke, but it is a joke, and thus not meant to be taken seriously. THIS FUCKING SCENE WITH LUCY SHOULD BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY! BUT IT CAN’T BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY WHEN ALL I CAN THINK OF IS

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR FACE?!

But whatever, y’know? We’re not here for that, we’re here for Lucy. At least she’s here, at least we can get some answers, and the characters care and are as hungry as we are for information what do we know?

Okay, she was in a private school? Uhh, okay. I figured she’d be in asylum or something, for some mental rehabilitation. But okay, I guess she went to a private school for the rest of her sophomore year. Cool, I guess?

Ahhh yes! Sue! Asking how she’s been doing, and of course not that well. Which, is a given. Not much info there. But come on! We as readers have been waiting with baited breath to know more about Lucy! This is a 50 page chapter I’m sure we’ll learn a bit about her recovery, and her experience, how she feels an-

Oh…Okay…that’s fine too. Uhh alright then, but-

Oh! Hello, Paulo!

And hello Abbey, where the fuck did you come from? Did your Paulo Senses start tingling, and you had to make sure we all were aware that you do not like him? That’s cool. Actually, I like this part of the scene. It brings things back to a more lighthearted flavor, and it’s very refreshing after everything else.

I especially like this joke. It’s a nice bit of fan service for those of us who remember and appreciate the lighthearted slapstick that Lucy and the comic used to bring. This scene really shows us more than anything else so far that this is Lucy. She’s back, and she’s still got that take-no-shit attitude. I love it.

Oh wait, no I mean

OH MY GOD, LUCY YOU FUCKING BITCH! HOW CAN YOU ASSAULT PAULO LIKE THAT?! HE WAS YOUR CLOSE FRIEND, AND HE CARES ABOUT YOU! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HURT EVERYONE?! MY GOD, HOW THE FUCK DOES ANYONE LIKE THIS CHARACTER? ABUSE IS NEVER A JOKE! LUCY IS A BAD!

But Blessed Lucy just smiles and gives Daisy a nice little present and says “Shut up bitch cow. Go eat some bitch grass.” And the rest of the scene is centered around Mike cowering away from Lucy, until lunchtime where

Paulo tries to get her attention and bring her to the table. Lucy though, doesn’t want to join them. Seemingly due to not wanting to make things more awkward with Mike. But Paulo persists, wanting to catch up with Lucy and hopefully get more answers from her especially given how the last time he saw her she asked him to make out with her. But…

Holy shit, Sue are you…Are you pulling a…Gillete?

Is this the best a fan can get?

Sue says this, which I can understand. Lucy is still recovering from her traumatic experience, and of course doesn’t want to talk about it right now. Understandable, and Lucy of course is distraught by this. She doesn’t like her friends fighting like this, and is pretty overwhelmed and probably guilty for the fact her reappearance has only sparked more drama and in-fighting.

But then Sue and Paulo are so focused on getting what they want, Sue being too focused on being supportive and protective of Lucy, and Paulo being too focused on trying to get answers that neither of them realize that Lucy has already gone. Not being able to bear to watch her friends fight over her, and not siding with either side…

Oh wait, sorry. No that’s just what I would’ve liked to happen, since that would’ve made sense and line up with her behavior so far. No, instead Lucy smugly walks away and thanks Susan for fighting her battles for her like an asshole. And this is the moment where a big red flag went off, and sirens were ringing in my head. That this thing is not Lucy, or rather not the Lucy I know. Not the Lucy I love. But what you probably already know. Not the Lucy I write.

I know, it’s not fair to bring up my own stuff and compare it to the canon, but I feel compelled to given that Sue’s behavior here is very in line with how she acted in January.

Sue was VERY defensive of Lucy, (as well as very angry at Paulo) but the part where January actually deviates from the canon (unintentionally) is how Lucy feels about that sort of thing.

What that chicken scratch writing is supposed to say is, “I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore.” Sue was very protective of Paulo, but Lucy made it clear that she didn’t want that. She didn’t want her friends fighting and near the end she says this:

Lucy would not like seeing this sort of thing happen to her friends. She’d feel guilty as anyone else would to see the people they loved or at least cared for start fighting over them. Now, I know, this is my own interpretation of the canon and of course I’m fuckin’ wrong because I’m not Taeshi. But I bring up the comparison, because if you remember my previous rants you’d know that January was meant to be a faithful story to BCB. These points aren’t just because it’s how I want Lucy to be, or because that’s how I made Lucy be…It’s because this was honestly what I thought Lucy would be. When she’s broken, the reoccurring message from Lucy is:

Did you get the message? It’s that the last thing Lucy wanted was to make things worse for her friends (in the case of the January examples: Mike). But I guess this is just what I wanted to see, and I’m sure someone is going to be happy and wanted to see Lucy feed the fire, and see her friends act like this. And I’m sure all that they will get out of this part of the rant is me saying to the canon:

But anyway what’s happening in the canon? I kinda forgo-

OH MY GOD! Holy shit, things are getting heated! While everyone scratches their heads, wondering what’s going on with Lucy, Paulo goes straight to the source an-

OH MY GAWD WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOUR FAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!? Seriously, that face is really undercutting the tension and severity of this scene. And this is a very tense scene, let me appreciate it.

Paulo is taking no shit right now! He is at his breaking point! He is fed up and wants some god damn answers! He’s going a bit too far, but it helps to show how fed up and frustrated he is. Finally snapping at Daisy, but of course now Abbey steps in to defend his lady’s honor. But it’s a bad move! Paulo is in his no-fucks mode! He’s finally gonna reveal what happened! And-

Oh what the fuck is that face?

Oh come on, not like this…

THAT’S HOW YOU’RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT AND REVEAL THAT YOU WERE ASSAULTED? LIKE A SMUG ASSHOLE? WHY IS EVERYONE TURNING INTO SMUG ASSHOLES?! How am I supposed to take this seriously? THE CHARACTER HIMSELF ISN’T TAKING THIS VERY SERIOUSLY!

At least Daisy’s taking this seriously, but again!

WHAT IS THAT FACE?! I KNOW PEOPLE KEEP TELLING ME THAT I’M ALWAYS VICTIM BLAMING, BUT THIS SHIT IS WHY I LOSE SYMPATHY!

THE MAN JUST FLIPPED FROM BEING FUMING MAD, TO BEING SMUG AND SMARMY, TO NOW TRYING TO ACT SARCASTIC!

But fuck you, I’m not gonna let these shitty expressions clearly meant to paint Paulo as a bad person even when he’s completely justified and is actually the fucking victim here; ruin my catharsis, luckily Daisy is here to take this seriously.

That’s right, Daisy! Put his feet to the fire! Don’t let him get away with this! And Abbey, what kind of bullshit excuse is that? What do you mean by “the way he’s been acting lately” You mean being passive aggressive, ignoring Daisy, or as one might say…

Staying away from her? Wanna know why I hate Abbey? This is why.

Thankfully, Daisy is standing her ground and acting like Daisy and caring about her friend being hurt.

BUT OF COURSE ABBEY HAS TO MAKE IT ABOUT HIMSELF DOESN’T HE? OH YOU POOR THING, I’M SORRY I DON’T HAVE SYMPATHY FOR THE ABUSE VICTIM WHO ASSAULTS A MOTHERFUCKER WITH COWARDICE, WHILE STILL HAVING THE GALL TO ACT LIKE HE DID NOTHING WRONG! It’s like we’re supposed to feel sorry for Abbey, that Daisy’s turned on him and taking Paulo’s side. But how the fuck is she supposed to react to that? “Oh I don’t care that you got chokeslammed, Paulo! You’re still an asshole and deserved it, and Abbey was just protecting himself!”

And to make all this better,

MAH NIGGA!

I take back every bad thing I ever said or thought about you, David! You are a 100% certified Good Boy! You took the words right out of my mouth! You’re getting a treat tonight boy! You ain’t getting no kibble and bits tonight, you’re getting the fancy feast! I bet you didn’t know Fancy Feast had food for dogs! That’s how fancy it is! Good boy!

But anyway, the chapter then goes on to show Lucy wandering the grounds. Perhaps ruminating on memories there, or perhaps looking for something…or someone~

Or at least that’s how this chapter should’ve gone, instead we’re treated to watching a bit more Abbey. And we’re supposed to feel sorry for him. Oh boo hoo, I ruined my own relationship. Why does nobody agree with me. Actually hold on, I have something for this.

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“They called it assault, but it really wasn’t my fault! Everyone else is an asshole.”

But for real, why are we focusing on Abbey? Lucy’s here, shouldn’t we be focusing on her? What the hell could be happening to Abbey now that would warrant our attentio-

OH YOU LITTLE WHORE! WHY THE TRIANGLE FACE, JASMINE?

THEY LITERALLY JUST SANK HIS SHIP, AND YOU’RE ALREADY MOVING IN! MY GOD! IS TAESHI EVEN TRYING TO MAKE THIS SHIT SEEM NATURAL ANYMORE?!

Y’know, I thought I was a bit harsh back in the day when I referred to Jasmin as a cockwarmer. I thought it was just a funny, yet apt title for her character pretty much being created solely to be shipped with Paulo after Tess, and later to be thrown away when his true ship reveals itself.

BUT OH MY GOD, JASMINE LITERALLY IS JUST A NARRATIVE COCK WARMER! Cause this whole fandom and drama is centered around shipping, just can’t let one character go unshipped! Nuh uh, gotta force Jasmine in there to keep it warm! I hope you’re happy together in background hell!

But okay, NOW we can talk about Lucy. She wanders around until…

A wild edgy boy appears! And oh man…

I ain’t gonna lie.

I fucking love this scene. I feel like this is how this chapter and reunion should’ve been.

See this is why I get so mad about those scenes, because I know even with my cynical, jaded, hardened, and worn out heart. Taeshi knows exactly how and what to do to tug at my heartstrings no matter what. And this scene is an excellent example. It’s not just seeing these characters we love reunite, but the feeling and dialogue mirrors the feeling that we as readers felt reuniting with Lucy. And the good stuff doesn’t stop there!

Not gonna lie, this got a chuckle out of me. Seeing Lucy acting like herself again, talking like she used to. It’s the first time we see her open up and act like the Lucy we know and love.

Oh wait, sorry I mean.

OH MY GOD LUCY WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU’RE SERIOUSLY DOING IT AGAIN! HITTING THOSE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU! YOU FUCKING BITCH! HOW CAN YOU DO THAT, HE’S THE ONE PERSON WHO FUCKING CARES ABOUT YOU AND YOU DO THAT! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO ABUSE EVERYONE AROUND YOU! ABBEY DINDU NUFFIN WRONG!

Shut up bitch cow, go eat some bitch grass.

But as I was saying, this scene is really the highlight of this chapter. Even when it turns our attention away from Lucy, it’s done with purpose.

It’s a well done scene that reminds us about Alejandro, and that he’s still out there, and that he is still a big threat to these characters. It’s a well done scene, showing the close relationship between Lucy and Augustus contrasted by her treatment towards her original friends. Not only that but we also are reminded of Augustus’ predicament and with it we get a good example of the amount of power Alejandro has over him. But even better, we see a bit of that fire inside Lucy that made us love her, that determined headstrong mentality that made Lucy, Lucy.

And I know I already did my obligatory January comparisons for the rant, but I just have to bring this back because I said it first.

And the scene ends with Lucy hinting at a dark missing piece of the past, before telling Augustus to meet her after class.

But enough of that good stuff, we need to spend some time with our-

Favorite character in the world. Even when she’s not being a mad bitch, she’s still not likable. Especially not with…

That…

Face…

Why must you be like this? I just gave you praise.

But aww isn’t this nice too?

Look at how sweet this is, Sam!

Aren’t you happy to see all this love for Rachel?

Isn’t this nice, Sam? You love Rachel! She’s the best character, right? Don’t you love Rachel?

Sam? Sam, why are you crying? What’s wrong? This is a happy scene! Aren’t you happy that Rachel has such close loving friends, Sam? How could you be sad about this?

Okay, but for real this scene can fuck off. I know what you’re doing Taeshi, and it’s MEAN! THAT’S JUST MEAN! On top of that, this whole section has nothing to do with anything else in this chapter. I would’ve glossed over all of this part if not for

What. The. Fuck. Is. This. Character.

But luckily we’re back to Lucy! Look Sam!

It’s Lucy! You love Lucy, don’t you? We’ve waited three long years, seen characters get destroyed, characters rebuilt, we’ve gone through all the pain, but it’s all worth it. We can finally spend time with Lucy, and Augustus! We’re gonna get those answers! We’re gonna see how she’s been! She’s going to turn this train around! She’s gonna-

WHELP! FUCK YOU TOO, I GUESS!

Well at least Augustus calls her out on that melodramatic bullshit, but for real. What is this?

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At least we can spend some time with Lucy’s family, and it’s nice to see how much they care. I just wish Lucy would reciprocate that a little. To quote my friend from the discord, paraphrasing Lucy, “As you can see I am largely unscathed. Unlike when I attempted to kill myself recently.” And people thought that Lucy having Mike feel her scar to show the truth was her being rude and manipulating.

Still, I can appreciate the chemistry, and it is pretty fun. If not a bit hollow, but that might just be this giant hole in my chest cavity that Taeshi created.

But Lucy drops the bomb, and

OH HO HO! OH NO! OH I KNOW WHAT’S COMIN’ YOU LITTLE SHIT!

Oh ho, you motherfucker I know what’s comin’. You all know what’s comin’ and I am gonna be ready to lay on the hurt. I only saw two pages of this scene, but I already have more than enough to say. I’m about to get surgical on your ass. This rant is already hella long, and I don’t want this scene getting shuffled in with all this other crap. Oh no.

This scene… It deserves my full and undivided attention.

#Bittersweet Candy Bowl #rant

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authorscottmckay · 5 years

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The Novel Writing Process (Indie Publishing Route)

1.) Research the Market

Before you begin, figure out what genre you would like to write in. Horror? Fantasy? Mystery? Romance? Comedy? There are tons of genres, sub-genres, and mixed genres to choose from.

When you have a genre chosen, start reading. Reading is crucial to becoming a good writer. Read what’s hot in your genre right now, study the tropes people like and dislike, and what traits make characters interesting.

By no means am I saying be a copycat. Don’t just write a book about evil spirits rising from an old Native American burial ground because of Pet Semetary’s success and expect fans of horror to enjoy your series. Be original, but take away from your research the “feel” of the books you read. It’s not specifically about what happened in the book, but ask yourself why those events left you craving more and turning the page.

2.) Pre-writing

Depending on who you ask, pre-writing has a specific set of steps and clear paradigms for what is and is not part of this stage. And, as with many steps in the writing process, it is all up to interpretation. To me, pre-writing begins before you jot down a single word. It begins with a spark of inspiration, and is comprised of all the brainstorming, character creation, plot notes, and every other idea you have for your book before you really get down to starting on chapter 1 (or wherever you do begin writing your book; personally, I prefer the ending or somewhere in the middle).

3.) Outlining

There are two main schools of thought when it comes to writing: those who fly by the seat of their pants — aptly nicknamed “Pantsers” — and those who sit down and plot out the entire book in shorthand before they begin — the “Plotters”. I myself am an avid fan of plotting, because I find it greatly decreases the instances of writer’s block, but feel free to skip this step if you’d rather just wing it.

When plotting, simply take the ideas you came up with in the pre-writing stage and organize them from A-Z in your story. This could be a series of bullet points, a death-by-PowerPoint storyboard, or you can shorthand your entire story, then flesh out the details when you go back over it. There are also specific flows to the plot to consider. Find an organizational method that works for you, and ask yourself these questions: Who is the protagonist? Who, or what, is the antagonist? Why does the protagonist want to stop them? What allies do they meet, and what challenges do they face along the way?

For an awesome reference guide, research a concept known as “The Hero’s Journey”.

4.) The First Draft

Now the fun part. Write. Just write. Don’t stop to edit, even if you have a mess of misspellings, punctuation errors, and sentences that come across like a drunk toddler hijacked your keyboard/pen. Just get the words onto the page. Pour your bleeding heart and soul out, have a blast doing it, and understand one simple thing:

The first draft sucks.

The first draft is a heaping pile of manure that should never see the light of day. The first draft would crack mirrors if they had eyes to see it. If you dare to try to publish a first draft, as I have seen impatient indie authors online do, you will invoke my wrath, and I will find you, and I will beat you with a frozen swordfish.

Once you have finished pumping a wordgasm into your Google Docs, Word, Scrivener, or whatever writing program file, sit back, relax, finish your coffee/tea/booze, and cry.

Because now comes the part every writer just loves… So. @&$%ing. Much.

5.) The Self-Edit

“Psh, wait, what? I don’t need to edit my novel. The publishing house will do that for me, or I’ll just hire someone to do it.”

You hear that?

That’s the sound of my swordfish, fresh out of the big ass freezer I purchased just to contain it. And it’s ready for a beat down.

If you were to send a first draft to a publisher, you would be laughed at and rejected immediately. If you’re going the indie route, and an editor you hire needs to spend an enormous amount of time rifling through endless errors, you’ll be digging yourself a massive hole of debt trying to pay them for all that extra work.

Trust me: edit the book to the best of your abilities, and your wallet or publisher will thank you for it later. I would also recommend getting the help of friends and family, if available. These people, reading over your book in the first draft stage (and you better buy them a coffee or something), are what are known as “alpha readers”. We’ll go into depth on the types of readers who help in the editing phase in another post.

There are multiple types of edits to do:

Developmental edit

Read over your story and take note of what makes sense or not, what weak areas could be strengthened, and weed out any continuity errors you find. Just focus on the plot and big scenes. Best to get help with this one in the form of beta readers (see next step).

Copy edit

Go word-by-word checking for typos and spelling errors along with correcting grammar, language, and syntax errors. Also, at this point, deal with any punctuation issues you see.

Line edit

Focus on the finer aspects of language. Read over each sentence to asses their flow and whether or not they get the idea across. Try to tighten them up and avoid run-on sentences.

Sensitivity edit

A sensitivity edit it highly recommended when writing about other cultures, minorities, LGBTQ+ characters, and social issues you may not be familiar with. You don’t want readers getting pissed and blasting you for being homophobic, misogynistic, racist, and/or ignorant. This may be difficult to do on your own, so I recommend a fresh set of eyes from a friend or family member to help you, particularly if they happen to be a part of the group you are writing about.

Proofread

This is the final edit. Read through your manuscript one last time to check for any spelling mistakes, grammatical issues, continuity errors, or other glaring problems.

6.) Get Beta Readers

A beta reader is someone who reads your manuscript and gives feedback before it is ready to be published. What defines a beta reader vs. an alpha reader is actually kind of blurry. Personally, I believe beta readers should come after you have done some thorough self-edits. When you get feedback from your betas, apply it to your book, and continue with another round of self-edits.

Whatever you do, get the beta reader feedback BEFORE the professional edit. Obviously, you don’t want to add the feedback into your book after the edits, then have to pay someone to re-edit those parts of the book.

7.) Get a Critique Partner

Got any writer friends? Good. Ask them if they would help you in the self-edit process by reading through your book and giving feedback as a fellow writer, not as a reader. Think of a critique partner as a beta reader who is reading from the author’s perspective. They can have a world of information and writing tips you hadn’t even considered during the first draft.

8.) The Professional Edit

“B-but I already did my own edits!”

Yes! Good job! Here’s a cookie. Chew on it while you send your book off to people who are vastly more experienced than you.

There’s no skipping this step, even if you’re on a tight budget. Your book needs a professional edit in the form of all the edits you just did. Without it, readers will be able to tell it’s an unfinished book, and you’ll come across as an amateur.

I’m not going to lie, if you’re going the indie publishing route, it’s expensive. Get good at saving money from your day job. Some editors charge per hour, some per page, and some per word. A common fee is $0.01 - 0.03 per word. Doesn’t sound intimidating at first glance, but if you’ve just finished 50k words for NaNoWriMo, or you’ve got the next great 120k word urban fantasy that’ll blow the Mortal Instruments out of the water…well, you do the math.

Just, please, for the love of all that is holy, don’t hire some shady “super experienced” all-purpose editor off of Fiverr because you want to save a buck, then wind up getting half-assed work back and need to find a real editor to fix it. Cough… Not that I’d know anyone who did that. <_<

9.) The Book Cover

“Don’t judge a book by it’s cover” is a phrase only to be applied as a metaphor to say “don’t judge people based on their appearance.”

In the book world, we DEFINITELY judge books by their covers.

If you do absolutely no other form of advertising, make sure you have a damn good book cover. The cover is going to count for about 80% of your advertising. You might have a book that’s going to change peoples’ lives and make you a household name along with a buttload of money. But if the cover sucks, no one is going to buy it except for a few family members and friends.

Make sure you research what book cover styles are popular in your genre so it stands out to readers as something they might enjoy. For example: most urban fantasy YA novels feature a model of the main character in the middle, and they might be holding some sort of weapon; the background is neat, perhaps a city scape or a mystical forest; the font of the title and name are custom-made and might have a swirling, curved, or twisted shape to them.

10.) Formatting

This is often a package deal with book cover designers. Get your book formatted for readability on whatever platform you’ll be publishing it to.

11.) Get an ISBN

Submit your book for an ISBN. Easy peasy. Now, if you’re just going to publish on Amazon, they do have their own free ISBN, but if you want to publish to other sources like Kobo and iBooks, you’ll need to get your own.

12.) Publication

This is it. The moment you’ve been waiting for. Once you’ve got your book all together in an awesome package, find which platform you want to publish your book to — Amazon, iBooks, Kobo, Blurb, Lulu, Smashwords, etc... — and follow their guidelines for setting up an account, giving them your tax info, and uploading your files.

Congratulations! You’ve just published a book. Is it your first one? Then revel in the fact that you are now officially an author. Go out and celebrate with a steak night and a beer (or whatever is appealing according to your diet), then get back to work.

13.) Extras

Not mentioned in this process are things like building your author platform, marketing, advertising, getting deals with bookstores and libraries, and setting up book tours. These don’t have a set place in the writing process. When it comes to marketing and building your author platform, those are things you need to do even before you begin writing your book, all throughout the process, and long after it’s all finished. Things like planning when to officially launch your book, and whether or not pre-orders will be available, are important considerations as well.

Every writer has their own process. This has been my personal experience with the indie writing and publishing process. Comment down below if there is anything you would add to help aspiring, brand new, and veteran authors achieve their writing goals. Thanks for reading!

#writer #writing #advice #bibliophile #process #tips #writeblr #publishing #selfpublishing #indie #indiepublishing #amazon #kindle #kobo #ibooks #ebooks #smashwords #lulu #books #reading

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pass-the-bechdel · 5 years

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Marvel Cinematic Universe: Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

No.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Six (31.57% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Thirteen.

Positive Content Rating:

Three.

General Film Quality:

Entertaining, but overrated.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Though Nebula and Gamora trade a couple of lines on a few occasions, they invariably speak about either Thanos, or Ronan.

Female characters:

Meredith Quill.

Bereet.

Nebula.

Gamora.

Carina.

Nova Prime.

Male characters:

Mr Quill.

Peter Quill.

Yondu Udonta.

Ronan.

Korath.

Rocket.

Groot.

The Broker.

Drax.

Thanos.

The Collector.

Denarian Saal.

Denarian Dey.

OTHER NOTES:

Seatbelts on spaceships should really be mandatory.

Aahahahaha Peter has a woman on his ship whose name he can’t remember and whom he forgot was even there! Oh, it’s so funny and charming! What a classic misogynistic cliche intro! Garbage.

Rocket chastises Groot to ‘learn genders’, and I don’t think the irony of a raccoon (a species with almost no visually-evident sexual dimorphism) saying that to a tree-person (whose species - if sexually dimorphic at all - certainly has no reason to adhere to the humanoid/mammalian model) is deliberate. The other alien higher-life-forms they encounter in the film are pretty uniformly human in appearance (not much effort going on in the ‘alien’ department besides just painting people in bright colours), but lack of imagination from the creative team doesn’t mean that the binary gender system we’re accustomed to on Earth has any broad bearing on the galaxy at large.

Aaahh, and now Peter is explaining his scars to Drax, with lovely stories of women he cheated on in the past because he’s ~such a stud~.

Thanos tells Ronan off for his dull political raging and whiny behaviour, but he’s sitting on a shiny floating throne himself, so I’m not sure he’s earned the right to criticise what other people have got going on.

Rocket suggests that Gamora trade sexual favours to get things from other prisoners, because we’re being Like That with this movie.

The Collector keeps female slave ‘assistants’, whom he evidently treats so nicely that Carina commits suicide by infinity stone at the first opportunity in order to escape him. We’re just doing so well for the ladies in this film.

As a great comedic beat, Drax calls Gamora a “green whore”. It’s both a shitty line, and nonsensical, since Drax isn’t supposed to comprehend metaphors and he has no reason to believe Gamora is a literal ‘whore’ (nor is he likely to use such a colloquial term, considering the calibre of his standard vocabulary). Basically, it’s a rubbish line from every angle, and all in service of a misogynistic joke.

This film is a terrible waste of Djimon Hounsou.

Ronan is very theatrically over-the-top in his pronouncements, but Lee Pace does his damnedest to make it work on delivery.

Why does Ronan’s flashy purple infinity stone weapon not kill people when he shoots them with its energy blast? Obviously it would be terribly inconvenient to the story if he just casually killed all the good guys, but honestly. It doesn’t make much sense. They coulda at least pretended there was a reason.

The part of me that is susceptible to acts of heroism is affected by the guardians all joining hands to share the stone’s power. Not enough to feel that the film or the character relationships actually connected on an emotional level, but enough that this ending doesn’t feel totally unearned.

Drax patting Rocket’s head while he’s crying over Groot is a lovely touch. THAT is the strongest character interaction of the film.

So. I’ll be honest: I don’t like this movie. I don’t think it works. I think it’s essentially just a string of gimmicks, loosely attached, entertaining enough on the surface but with no meaningful depth to hold in the mind or keep the audience engaged once the credits kick in (it’s also much heavier on the sexist tropes than any other MCU film previous). I don’t hate it, but it doesn’t give me anything that I value in a viewing experience, it just happens and then ends and that’s it. And the reason it doesn’t work is, frankly, the writing is lazy as shit. It makes a sub-par effort at establishing character and thus relies heavily on cliches, it rarely bothers to incorporate relevant plot and motivations and such into the story at early points in order to generate narrative pay-off, and the world-building is hazy at best and, like the characterisation, trades predominantly on expectation of stereotypes rather than actually creating anything original.

Let’s start in the obvious place: with our lead character. I’m tempted to just say ‘Peter Quill is garbage’ and then move on, because it’s true and also, he’s just not complex or interesting at all, which is ridiculous because he’s got that whole ‘alien abduction’ origin story and there should be like, literally any layers at all to his story instead of him just being an obnoxious Lothario who makes pop culture references like that counts as having a personality. But, here we are. I’m not familiar with the comics so I don’t know if this is a common complaint from fans who can’t believe their boy got all his nuances deleted in favour of such an inane cliche, but if this is exactly what Quill is like in the comics too? That’s no excuse. Part of the magic of adaptation is the opportunity to improve upon things the source material did wrongly or badly. The Quill we’ve got here in this movie is such a bland template he’s almost functionally useless; he barely impacts the story at all, especially in any way that is relevant to his personality or skills and necessitates his presence (the dance-off distraction is the only good Quill moment, and it’s also one of the few inspired choices in the whole film). At the end of the day, Quill exists so that the story has a Main Guy, being a straight white American male (and making sure we all, excessively, know about it), because God forbid we be expected to identify with anyone else. I have heard people sing the praises of the film for ‘subverting cliche’ by not having Quill and Gamora actively hook up by the end, as if that somehow makes it better that every single other aspect of that tedious forced romance plot is still squarely in place and set to play out in future films (pro tip: if the main guy still ‘gets the girl’, only it doesn’t happen in the first film, that’s not subversive. That’s still playing the trope dead-straight). Quill not immediately being shown to be rewarded with sex is not some incredible feat of original storytelling, and it certainly doesn’t absolve him of being a dime-a-dozen pig of a character. If that’s the most ‘unexpected’ character element you can cite, you’re in dire straits.

Now, I’m not gonna talk about every character individually, because in most cases there’s not much to talk about; Drax is the big warrior guy with the Fridged Family backstory we’ve seen so many times before it elicits zero (0) emotions now; Groot - though an interesting idea on paper - is basically just a Deus Ex Machina of whatever ability is most useful at any given moment, too ill-defined to have boundaries to his powers and conveniently not using his full potential whenever it would allow the characters to win too easily; and Rocket, well, Rocket is actually the only one of the leads who manages any meaningful nuance, which is unfortunate because most of the time he’s just used for sarcastic comic relief. The other character I am going to talk about is Gamora, and it’s because she’s a prime example of how this movie fails to establish things so that they feel like they actually matter or the character’s motivations are understandable, etc. We are introduced to Gamora when she overrides Ronan’s order for Nebula to retrieve the orb from Xandar; as it turns out, Gamora’s introductory moment (literally the first time we see her or hear her speak) is also her act of rebellion when she puts into action her plan to escape Thanos’ clutches and go her own way. The problem, obviously, is this is her introduction. We’ve never seen this character before, we’ve only just met Ronan and Nebula as well, Thanos is barely more than a concept, as is the planet Xandar and the politics around it. Nothing has been established yet about the life that Gamora occupies, so her ploy to escape it? Meaningless. We don’t even find out that Gamora was not planning to retrieve the orb for Ronan until she tells us so after she’s been arrested, and we have literally no reason to believe her because we don’t know her yet because her character has not been established at all. The traditional way to do this would be to show her in her old life, doing as she’s told and/or witnessing terrible things being done by her compatriots, and showing the audience that she has clear misgivings so that when she turns, we understand the context and can believe that’s a logical character decision based on established personality and morals (think of Finn’s introduction in The Force Awakens for a textbook example). Because no time or effort is ever invested in establishing who or how Gamora is, everything we know is delivered to us directly in dialogue, all tell, no show, and what could easily have been the film’s most dynamic character is instead hampered by having her development choked off to avoid spending time on letting her origins matter (despite the fact that those origins are essential to the plot).

On which note, lets talk bad guys. Thanos first, because there’s not much to say, and that’s not a good thing: Thanos is actually pointless to this film, the only reason he’s there is so that the MCU can use him to actual purpose in later films and his relation to Gamora and Nebula and the hunt for the Infinity Stones needs to be established first, but as with everything else this movie is terrible at establishing things effectively. Consequently, Thanos...just floats around on a chair, and then Ronan tells him to piss off and we don’t see or hear from him again in the rest of the film, and there’s no real effort made to integrate Thanos into the story so that he seems like anything other than a dead-end subplot cluttering up the movie for no reason. The closest Thanos gets to anything notable is when he chides Ronan for his boring politics, but even that is symptomatic of the wider problem with this movie’s lazy writing: Ronan’s whole character is essentially just another dull archetype - in this case, the extremist villain - and a solid nothing at all is done to establish his politics or what they mean, other than death for the people we’re told are the innocents. This is a problem with the world-building of the film as a whole, because none of the galaxy’s politics is fleshed out, there’s no context to why the Kree have a problem with Xandar or why we should care, and Xandar kinda gets treated like the centre of the universe but it also seems that’s just for convenience sake so that the plot can return to a previous location for the final act. Hell, I haven’t the faintest fucking idea where Earth is supposed to fit in to all of this, other characters talk about it so it’s clearly a known quantity to the rest of the galaxy, and yet no one knows any details about it and Quill never bothered to go back there for reasons which really SHOULD be explored and yet are not even mentioned (that would seem like some of that characterisation he doesn’t have), so I don’t know what we’re supposed to interpret from that. I’m not confident that the creative powers bothered to think about it, considering how much they didn’t think about anything else. This is a movie where ‘human, but painted’ passes for ‘alien’ and society apparently functions exactly like Earth, tedious misogyny and all, despite the absence of cultural sharing to explain the Earthlike similarities (and boy oh boy do I HATE the laziness of science fiction where everything being identical to Western culture on Earth is treated like it’s ‘just the natural order’ that should be expected to develop in any sentient species, instead of a complex system shaped by unique and varied influences over thousands of years and dependent upon environment, religion, philosophy, and a myriad of other factors not replicated in these poorly-drawn ‘alien’ cultures. I get that you’ve gotta employ at least some shorthand in order to get on and tell your story within time constraints, but come on. If you’re not gonna think about world-building at all, don’t set the story on an alien planet). Above all else, we know that Ronan is the villain because he’s painted (literally) as one; he’s the bad guy through visually-indicated othering, because we all know good guys don’t look like that (whereas most of Ronan’s enemies on Xandar are just regular-looking white folks. Curious...). Sure, Ronan is also introduced spouting rhetoric and then smashing a dude with a hammer, and that seems like villain behaviour, but that only reinforces the point: Ronan’s role is made unmistakable through age-old tropes, and it’s never explored or subverted or made dynamic from there. Like Quill as the ‘hero’, Ronan is a dime-a-dozen cliche.

So anyway. Lets talk plot. This one goes like so: Quill collects the orb from Morag, where he coincidentally runs into Korath and company who just-so-happen to be after the orb at the same time (how it is that multiple interested parties only just found out that one of the most powerful destructive forces in the universe is just chillin’ on this abandoned planet, they don’t bother to explain). Quill runs into both Gamora, and Rocket and Groot, the other parties happening to be after him for different reasons and coincidentally converging on Xandar at the same point. Everyone gets arrested and sent to prison, where they meet Drax and promptly escape and fly to Knowhere so that The Collector can exposition-dump about Infinity Stones. Drax calls Ronan up, just literally straight-up calls the bad guy to come and find them because I guess figuring out a normal plot reason for the villain to catch up with the good guys was too hard, so we had to go for extreme stupidity instead. Ronan gets the orb and goes back to Xandar to destroy it, and our main characters figure they should stop that, so they do. Roll credits. Now, you can make pretty much any story sound basic and stupid by breaking it down into its component pieces, but the important thing to note about this layout is how many convenient or just plain stupid aspects there are. There are almost no character meetings or story developments that come about logically through the sensible development of plot driven by character’s motivations springing from established narrative, etc, and part of that problem is absolutely because there’s so little established character/world-building to begin with, but it’s also because whatever there is tends to apparate when it is needed without any sign of existing beforehand; that is, very little of the story is seeded early on so that it can come to fruition later in a narratively satisfying fashion. The Nova Corps sentence the characters to the Kyln prison as if it’s a big scary concept, but we’ve never heard of it before so we have no reason to consider it trouble. Drax appears and other characters literally tell us why we should pay attention to him, instead of him being, say, pre-established (SUCH AS by having his family tragedy shown on screen as a dual-establishing event for him and Ronan, or something to which Gamora was privy in some way in order to intro her misgivings as discussed above, or even just having someone reference the legend of Drax the Destroyer BEFORE getting to the Kyln (you could also, y’know, establish the Kyln itself in talking about how Drax was sent there. Just saying)). Intro the idea of Knowhere and/or The Collector BEFORE heading there so that it’s less convenient for Gamora to just-happen to have a buyer already set up for the item we didn’t even know she had planned to steal as part of the escape plot we didn’t know she was hatching. For the love of everything, establish some actual REASON for Ronan to follow our characters to Knowhere, instead of just ‘Drax got drunk and called him’. Link the pieces of your story together with concepts and developments that build upon each other in a narrative progression. That’s the difference between having a plot, and having a string of chronological set pieces (some of which - like Morag and the Kyln - don’t even have a purpose anyway beyond providing some action-scene opportunities).

Before I close this out, I just want to run through a little exercise to demonstrate something that you never, ever want to happen in a story. You never want to have a lead character who can be deleted from the plot without leaving a hole too big to be easily filled by the rest of the cast. But what happens if Peter Quill is removed from this story? Well, pretty much all of the misogyny disappears, so that’s a plus. Someone else is gonna have to retrieve the orb from Morag, but we could easily send Rocket and Groot to do that. Gamora can still fight with them on Xandar exactly as it happens in the actual movie, only this time it’s not just pure coincidence that they conflict. We saved vital time that the film spent on Quill’s inconsequential childhood abduction (and we could save more on trimming the pointless action on Morag), which is time that could be better spent on all that other establishing crap I was talking about earlier, tightening up the narrative. Quill doesn’t serve any important purpose in the Kyln, so we can remove him from that no problem, nor does he matter on Knowhere other than a frankly stupid and ultimately pointless moment when he saves Gamora (definitely unnecessary when we’re removing the romantic subplot bullshit along with Quill). And then what? The characters agree that not letting Ronan destroy the galaxy is probably a good call (not Quill-relevant), they head back to Xandar, fight some bad guys, hold hands, win the day. We lose Quill’s only good moment in the form of the dance-off, but it’s an acceptable loss in order to strengthen the entire rest of the film by deleting the most meaningless character: the lead. We also arguably lose the Ravagers in the process, but as much fun as Yondu is, the plot can also survive completely intact without him (the only time the Ravagers matter is for the previously-identified useless damsel contrivance with Quill saving Gamora, and then they do help out on Xandar in the end, but they aren’t necessary for that - the Nova Corps could have been expanded just a smidge and taken care of everything). On the other hand, if you remove Gamora, you lose the connection to Ronan/Thanos as well as the moral compass of the Guardians; some other character would have to be significantly altered to fill the gap. You lose major Deus Ex Machina skills without Groot, and without Rocket someone else’s narrative has to change in order for Groot to have a buddy (plus you need a new mastermind for various plans, though that’s an easier hole to fill). You skip Drax and you do lose a major plot development in the form of him drunk-dialling Ronan, but admittedly that’s one of the worst things in this whole dumb waste of a movie, so maybe it’s not such a loss. You could ditch Drax. But, that’s not important, because Drax isn’t packaged as the leading man: Quill is. If you delete Drax, you don’t really streamline or improve the story (you could fix the one big flaw in his character very easily, he doesn’t have to disappear for that). You delete Quill...I know, comic book adaptation, dropping the main character is not considered an acceptable alteration when you’re improving the story for the screen. But come on. The least they could do is make him actually matter, not just be a perfunctory inclusion for the sake of sticking this ‘weird sci-fi’ as firmly in the centre of over-done cliche as a lazy gimmick story ever could be. There are a few chuckles to be had with this film, and it’s not entirely boring, but it’s not half as endearing nor even an eighth as inspired as it thinks it is. I’m not impressed by any of it.

#Guardians of the Galaxy #Bechdel Test #female representation #Marvel Cinematic Universe #MCU

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moralanxietystudio · 5 years

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“An RPG / Visual Novel / text adventure hybrid” is a mouthful - Roadwarden Devlog

In her Rock, Paper, Shotgun article, Jay Castello has mentioned:

The game’s genre is purposefully fluid. On (...) Studio’s website, the top frequently asked question says “I can’t figure out what is this game��s genre,” to which they’ve cheerfully replied “Me neither.”

When I mention Roadwarden in my Facebook posts or on Twitter, I usually struggle describing it. I keep saying things like “RPG / Visual Novel / text adventure hybrid”, but it’s not very... marketable. I like to use “interactive fiction”, which is arguably correct and sounds fine, but it doesn’t explain well what the player does in the game.

The main goal of this post is to sink deeper into this topic: how could we label Roadwarden? And what it actually is?

By the way, during the next couple of days I want to update the game’s demo. It’s going to be awesome.

Why am I looking for a label?

Why is the label important? Is it just because it’s convenient for social media ads?

When we categorize a game, we also set up the player’s expectations. If we call a game an endless runner, we make a promise. We claim that it’ll be easy to learn and hard to master, with a very stable pacing, without pointless plot and accessible from your phone. Sure, some endless runners can diverse from this premise or even completely fail at executing it, but making this label is an act of communication. Here is what I have to offer. Are yo interested?

And while Roadwarden fits into various definitions of specific genres, it makes promises that are not as commonly associated with its labels. It has an experimental approach to role-playing. Violence, that’s always plot-related and significant, not grindy. Exploration of a grim, detailed and consistent setting, but not a very heroic one. Dialogues used as the core of the experience, not just a tool. Humble adventures of a regular person in a world that overwhelms it. And I try to avoid common tropes in my story.

And I never ask myself “is it OK to add this new feature? after all, it’s not popular in this genre!”. I add everything that helps me make a better game. I put the experience above the marketing convenience.

A term “video game RPG” is famous for being a very vague label, pretty much impossible to define. It’s one of the most diverse branches of gaming. Every person plays RPGs for different reasons, thou we could probably make a list like 1) a complex story with possible side quests, 2) some character progression (both story-wise and through XP-like mechanics), 3) combat and exploration. If you prefer western games, you’ll probably enjoy 4) having important decisions. And you probably like 5) fantasy, eventually science-fiction with fantasy elements.

Sure, there’s a lot of variety - we have action RPGs, text-based RPGs, tactical RPGs, dungeon crawlers, rouge-likes... It’s really weird that the same label somehow covers The Witcher 3, Undertale, Final Fantasy VI and Wizardry from 1981, yet not Far Cry Primal, but that’s because these games are classified by an objective definition of a genre. We just try to say: “if you like X, you may also like Y. they’re kind of similar”.

Roadwarden as an RPG

When I develop Roadwarden I’m interested in things that most RPGs consider unimportant. And I don’t mean something like “I care about story, and These Other Games are all about combat”! That would be a silly statement. But I put an emphasis on aspects of the story which are often marginalized.

For example, in most RPGs you simply kill things (in self-defense!) and grind XP to get stronger. You can kill 10 packs of wolves and 25 boars and it means absolutely nothing. You’re just overcoming a barrier while trying to get a new level or reach the other side of the forest. Killing these enemies won’t be considered animal cruelty. Won’t destroy the balance of the nearby forests. Won’t starve the villagers. These animals are not Really a part of the story.

In Roadwarden, bandits don’t randomly spawn and die without influencing the plot. They are not some random loot waiting to drop on the floor for the player’s convenience. They have families, friends, goals, story behind them. They don’t want to kill you - they want your stuff. And they’ll try to rob you only if they know you can’t beat them. Without an unfair advantage they wouldn’t put themselves at risk.

In my game, violence means something. Nobody here dreams about it, aside of the most terrible, wicked people. Every death leaves a void, and void should be haunting.

In most RPGs you find a tavern, buy a potion and leave. In Roadwarden you spend 15 minutes talking to the innkeeper, and he’s not there just to give you a quest. He wants to know more about you. He wants to know what news you’re bringing. And if you can be trusted.

Also, potions in this game are rare and have taste. And aroma.

Your character isn’t going to have one hundred thousand coins at the end of the game, nor murder two thousand creatures to save a village inhabited by 30 NPCs. They characters are not waiting for The Chosen One or a master of martial marts that can save them. You’re just someone who tries to change your own life by doing something risky, in a realm that’s filled with people who don’t even know if they want you here.

Your character is a part of the world they live in. And I think most RPGs don’t do a good work reflecting this idea. Immersion should be something more than the constant pursue of better graphics, cinematics and more “freedom”.

So while Roadwarden is still a game that includes combat, trade, exploration, unlocking new abilities and building your character, it’s all put in a new context. And there’s a good chance that a portion of RPG fans wouldn’t be satisfied with something this different. I try to encourage them to take a look... But I don’t want anyone to feel cheated.

Roadwarden as a Visual Novel

Roadwarden may also not be a perfect fit for many Visual Novel fans, even though it involves a lot of narration, descriptions and dialogues supported by limited visuals. Roadwarden has fewer gameplay elements than most RPGs, but way more than most VNs - it even introduces simple survival mechanics.

Also, the story is non-linear - it’s very complex (what doesn’t mean “long”) and modified by how the player moves around the map. Many VNs introduce story branching, but I’m pushing it unusually far. And, of course, Roadwarden has way more choices than most VNs, even though some of these choices are focused on role-playing alone and don’t impact the game’s mechanics.

Not only that, but the visual style and the lack of common tropes that are appealing for the core VN-fanbase can be a big problem. I was even asked a couple of times if my game will involve any romantic relationships. Sure, there are successful VNs that don’t involve porn (VA-11 Hall-A), romance (Ace Attorney), manga-style drawings (Cinders), nor Best Girls, so I’m not saying it’s impossible to make one and prosper. But it’s playing against the odds.

All these things push me into being very careful here, and I usually feel that I should say something like “it’s a Visual Novel, BUT...”

Roadwarden as an adventure game

So let’s make a step back. There’s an argument to be made that Visual Novels are a sub-genre of (or rather, an evolution of) a more interactive label. Here’s how Wikipedia defines the adventure games:

(...) a video game in which the player assumes the role of a protagonist in an interactive story driven by exploration and puzzle-solving.

That works, doesn’t it? It’s also fair to say that such a definition is very vague and doesn’t even exclude RPGs or games like Half-Life. Quest for Glory series, for example, is usually considered to have “RPG elements” or gets classified as a hybrid of both an adventure game and an RPG.

This vagueness opens adventure games for many subgenres, and Roadwarden graciously falls into a couple of them at once. It has scenes with text parsers, typical for interactive fiction, but its advanced dialogue choices could even categorize it as digital gamebook (CYOA-like). Probably a better option for us is a “graphic adventure game”, since there are Some graphics and few ways to interact with the game - parsers, in-game “buttons”, dialogue choices.

I have a pleasure to be a part of few adventure game communities and there’s usually a small range of titles that are constantly mentioned as the “classic” adventure games. Point & clicks (Monkey Island, Grim Fandango), graphic games with parsers commands (King’s Quest), sometimes games like Myst...

Text adventure games, while accepted, are not really discussed often. And it’s difficult to make silly memes about them, so they are a bit obsolete. However, a group focused specifically on text adventure games really doesn’t care about graphics.

It feels to me like there Should be a spectrum of graphics vs. text, and of visible interface vs. text parsers. But it’s not the case. Text adventures and graphic adventures are almost in different worlds - not because of what they are, but rather because of what communities surround them. And, once again, Roadwarden is in between. It’s not just a hybrid of an RPG and an adventure game, it’s also a hybrid of a text adventure game and a graphic adventure game.

Roadwarden is a hybrid, and that’s not sexy

In conclusion, here are some of the genres that I think are strongly present in Roadwarden:

· RPG;

· Visual Novel;

· text adventure game;

· graphic adventure game;

· digital gamebook.

Also, I heard opinions that “it feels a lot like a tabletop RPG”. What makes me happy, since it’s intentional.

Some of my game’s features are not exclusive to any specific genre. All of the labels I’ve listed tend to be story-heavy and support their plot with dialogues (or even narration), often include inventory management, allow you to role-play a protagonist and tend to use fantasy settings. Others, however, are genre specific: parsers, open world exploration, mechanically progressing protagonist, simplified visuals, resource management...

Roadwarden is a hybrid, what means it’s going to have a problem appealing to fans of a specific genre. Yet, at the same time, it’s a game that’s not restricted by its labels - and I don’t think genres should limit our designs. My game can include all the things it needs. It can be unusual, experiment and creatively look for new ways to explore.

I just hope I can earn your trust.

#indiedev #indie game #devlog #rpg #visual novel #pixelart #text adventure #adventure game #video games

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wasneeplus · 5 years

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Responding to the Alt-Right playbook, part 1

Disclaimer: I wrote this after seeing the first four minutes of the video. While watching the rest I noticed a few things I bring up are addressed later, though in such a way as to lead to even more questions. Still, I think most of it stands, and it’s still useful as a kind of stream of consciousness response, so I’ll leave it untouched.

Sometimes, in the wee hours of the morning when I just finished reading my newspaper, I will enjoy myself with a few infuriating youtube videos. Lately I’ve been quite disillusioned by the part of youtube calling itself liberal spouting nationalist propaganda at my beloved European project, so I’ve switched to some corners of the website which are friendlier to my blood pressure. That’s how I came across a video called "The Alt-Right Playbook: The Card Says Moops” by Innuendo Studios. Apparently he is somewhat of a big deal with his 150k plus subscribers, though I never heard of him. Just two minutes into the video though I knew I was going to write this response. While it didn’t make me angry the way I might have been in the past, there’s just so much wrong here, I cant bottle this up any longer.

Say, for the sake of argument, you’re online blogging about a black journalists’ commentary on marketing trends in video games, movies and comic books and you’re saying how the vitriol in response to her fairly benign opinions reveals the deep seated racism and misogyny in a number of fan communities, most especially those that lean right,...

Quite an unlikely scenario since I’m not in the business of assuming ones leanings on race, gender or politics based on their opinions on movies, games or comic books, but let’s roll with it I guess.

...When a right leaning commenter pops in to say: “Or maybe they just actually disagree with her about marketing trends! For Christs sake, there’s no mystery here. People aren’t speaking in coded language. They are telling you wat they believe. She had a bad opinion. Why do you have to make it bigger than that? Why can’t you ever take people at their word?”

Here’s where I feel validated in making this response, because while I don’t consider myself right leaning, as hard as that might be to believe for some, this is exactly the kind of response I might have given. So props to Innuendo Studios for accurately portraying an argument of one of his opponents. Unfortunately he then continues:

You pause and ponder this for a moment. Hmmm. Uh heck with it! You’re in a discoursing mood. Let’s do this! Mister conservative, in order for me to take you at your word your words would have to show some consistency. Let me just lightning-round a few questions about the reactionary web’s positions on marketing trends.

The first major problem should be obvious to anyone right about now. How is anyone supposed to answer for the “reactionary web”? Hell, I don’t even know what that’s supposed to be. The caricature in the video wears a 4chan logo on its chest, so maybe he’s referring to the /pol/ imageboard. Well, I don’t hang out there, and I’m pretty sure most of the people who would have been critical of that opinion piece don’t either. Therefore I feel justified in ignoring that particular remark and just give my own answers to these questions. After all: the people on /pol/ are clearly not the only ones he’s talking to at this point.

Do you believe that having the option to romance same sex characters in an rpg turns the game into queer propaganda...

No. On a side note though: the video at this point shows an image of the game Mass Effect. I remember when that game came out there was some controversy over the game showing sex scenes between the characters. Remember that this was but a few years sine the GTA hot coffee mod upheaval, so people where a bit more sensitive about such things. But never have I heard anyone complain about the same sex romance options. I can imagine there were a few disapproving voices but I never came across them, even though I followed the launch very closely at the time.

...or do you believe that killing strippers in an action game can’t be sexist because no one’s making you do it?

I believe it can be sexist, but I never seen an example of it actually being sexist. Not because no one makes you do it, though. It’s because the amount of strippers killed in video games pales in comparison to the amount of other people killed. I’m willing to bet that video games depict more men being killed by women than the other way around, with the vast majority being male on male killings. The fact that there’s one or two games where a man has the option to kill some female sex workers hardly seems significant in that light.

Do you believe that the pervasiveness of sexualised young women in pop culture is just there because it sells and that’s capitalism and we all need to deal with it...

Yes, for the most part. I guess one can add a few nuances here and there, but that about covers the gist of it.

...or do yo believe that a franchise has an obligation to cater to its core audience even if diversifying beyond that audience is more profitable?

Ooh boy, where do I start? Okay, first of all: those two are not mutually exclusive. I know there is this pervasive idea in some parts of western culture that people can only identify with others of the same sex, race and/or cultural background, but that’s just not true. As such it’s perfectly possible to be both diverse and give your core audience what they want. Criticism of a failure to do the second does not automatically translate to criticism of succeeding at the first. Where the two usually meet is when creators use the first as an excuse to take away from the second, either because of their own incompetence or their disinterest in the franchise they are working on.

Which brings us to our second point: while diversity does not have to hurt a franchise, too often creators are too lazy to put effort in making sure it doesn’t because they haven’t got their priorities straight. They think that covering their bases in terms of diversity is the most important thing and everything else is an afterthought. The movie Star Wars: The Last Jedi, who’s cast is partly depicted in the video at this point, is actually a perfect example of this. No one thought Finn and Rose were such interesting characters that audiences wanted to see an entire subplot devoted exclusively to them. They were clearly there just to tick some boxes, not because of a creative spark that led an artist to lovingly craft these characters. The result was perhaps the most universally despised part of the movie, at least among hardcore fans. And yeah, they do deserve a bit more consideration than any other demographic, don’t you think? They are the ones who made this into a franchise to begin with. Without them this movie wouldn’t even have been made.

Lastly: there is a reason the saying “get woke, go broke” exists. If Rose was just there to appeal to Asian markets that would be one thing. I do think there’s something to the idea that putting characters of the same race as the target audience in your movie makes them easier to market. The thing is though: it didn’t work! The movie bombed in China, and I think that’s also because of the messages the creators were trying to send. To take a timeless hero’s journey narrative like Star Wars and try to insert current events and political messages in it just can’t end well. Yet, the creators persisted, and this is reflective of a lot of the culture behind those narratives. When a political message becomes the driving force behind the creative process it’s almost certain to produce sub par results. A creator has to be extremely talented to pull this off, and lets face it: most aren’t up to the task. Instead the art devolves into soulless political propaganda, and this is what stings people who love the franchise so much. Me personally, I am a big fan of making the political personal when you want to convey a political message. We can identify with personal struggles much more than with abstract political ideas. So characters should always be the focus, even if you want to make a statement.

Do you think words are inherently harmless and only oversensitive snowflakes would care about racialised language...

Words? Yes. The ideas expressed by those words? No. That’s why intention is so important to me, and the “oversensitive snowflakes” who focus on just the words are so not helping the debate in my opinion.

...or do you think it’s racist if someone calls you mayonaise boy?

Probably, yes. Though I can’t think of any reason why someone would call me that, other than to insult me by way of my race. On the other hand, I do really like mayonaise...

And as long as I’ve got your ear: are you the party that believes in the right to keep and bear arms because you’re distrustful of all authority and what if we need to overthrow the government some day...

No, no and no. I am not a party, nor am I affiliated with any party that espouses those kinds of opinions on the possession of arms. I personally do not believe in the right to bear arms, though I’m not especially passionate about it one way or the other. I guess being Dutch means I'm not really caught up in any debate surrounding arms, since it’s a bit of a non-issue here. Also: while I think authority should always be scrutinised, I wouldn’t characterise this as distrust.

...or do you believe that cops are civil servants and we should trust their account of events whenever they shoot a black man for looking like he might have a gun.

Well, aren’t cops civil servants? I seem to remember so. Anyway, I don’t think “looking like they might have a gun” is ever a good excuse to shoot anyone, so there you have it. Do keep in mind that we send cops out on the street partly to use force in neutralising dangerous individuals, so we shouldn’t be surprised when that gets out of hand sometimes. But honestly, I am not well informed enough on this topic to know how much trust to put in any side of this issue. I think looking at this on a case by case basis is the only thing we can do.

Does optional content reveal a game’s ideology, or doesn’t it?

Not necessarily, no

Is capitalism a defence for decisions you don’t agree with, or isn’t it?

That’s a rather broad statement. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t. It depends on what you are trying to defend.

Is language harmful, or not?

If you use it to promote harmful ideas, then yes.

Do you hate authority, or love cops and the troops?

Neither, really. I don’t hate authority just for being authority, and if anything soldiers and cops invoke pity in me. I guess that comes from growing up with a PTSD ridden veteran for a father.

Well, that’s the end of the questions. One might think I wasted a lot of time going through that, because shortly afterwards he goes on to say:

Now, I know the right is not a monolith and maybe these arguments are contradictory because they’re coming from different people.

Gee, you think? However, what then follows is an excuse to lump al these people together anyway.

We’ll call them Engelbert and Charlemagne. Maybe Engelbert’s the one who thinks any institution funded by tax money is socialist and therefore bad, and Charlemagne’s the one who says we should dump even more tax money into the military and thinking otherwise is unamerican.

I happen to hold neither of those opinions. Yes, it is actually possible to completely stand behind the hypothetical statement you made in the beginning of the video, and not subscribe to typical right wing convictions like that. But I know that there are people who do, so let’s see where his is going.

But here’s the thing: y’all have have very fundamentally different beliefs and you’re so passionate bout them that you’re entering search terms into twitter to find people you don’t even follow and aggressively disagree with them...

That’s quite a lot of assumptions there mate. I don’t think this is even a remotely fair representation of your opposition. Certainly not true for me. I don’t even have a twitter account (no, I wasn’t kicked off. I never had an account there to begin with), let alone do I ever browse that website. Putting that aside though, how do you know if there’s anyone who actually does this? People can retweet things after all; maybe that’s how they find the contentious twitter users. I found your video because youtube recommended it, and I clicked on it because the title intrigued me. I didn’t set out to look for things to disagree with, despite my quips at the beginning of this piece.

...and yet you’re always yelling at me, and never yelling at each other.

Certainly not true either. I've had quite a few online arguments with alt-righters, who in my opinion differ from actual Nazi’s in only slight and insignificant ways, and fervent nationalists. Of course that’s never going to garner the kind of attention as when Sargon of Akkad sends a mean tweet to a female politician. Speaking of Carl, his vicious disagreement with the alt-right is well documented, and their hatred for him caused quite a few equally vicious attacks against him and his family. But I don’t blame you for not knowing that. The majority of both of their vitriol is still directed at the extreme left, and why shouldn’t it? I don’t think there is an extremist position so pervasive in the western media these days. Again: there is no alt-right equivalent of Star Wars: the Last Jedi, because none of those people work in Hollywood, or anywhere else of note (with the possible and unfortunate exception of the white house).

...and I can’t say how often it happens, but I know if I let Engelbert go on long enough he sometimes makes a Charlemagne argument and vise versa.

Either you’re saying that both of them contradict themselves while framing it in quite an unnecessarily suggestive way, or you’re displaying a rather tribalist mindset in which worldviews can never overlap. Either way, I don’t think the following statement is justified...

See, I don’t take you at your word because I cannot form a coherent worldview out of the things you say.

The fault might lie with you in this case I’m afraid. The reason I went over those questions in the beginning is to show that it is perfectly possible to have consistent views on all of those issues and still be counted among those who would oppose you on this one. I don’t think you really know who it is that you’re projecting all this on. You think my worldview has to have inconsistencies if I disagree with you on the nature of the discourse surrounding popular media, but you’ve yet to correctly identify any. I think the saying “truth resists simplicity” is one you should tale to heart a lot more. Case in point:

Why are you so capable of respecting disagreement between each other yet so incapable of respecting me, or, for that matter, a black woman.

While that may seem like a coherent statement at a first glance, it actually betrays an incredibly simplistic way of looking at things. You see, you’re comparing three entirely different things one can respect: the fact of genuine disagreement between two parties, you, an individual person, and any given black woman, that is: a demographic. The first has to be respected, otherwise discourse is impossible. Though it must be said that me and the alt-right probably have very little respect for each others motivations, but unlike you the alt-right doesn’t ever really ask for my respect. The second deserves respect only when earned, and the third deserves neither respect nor disparagement, because it’s an incredibly varied group of people, some of whom deserve respect and some of whom don’t.

It kinda seems like you’re playing games and I’m the opposing team, and anyone who’s against me is your ally...

That entirely depends on what we’re talking about, doesn’t it? If we’re talking about diversity in media and the issues surrounding it, I will find myself on one side of the board surrounded by people I would usually disagree with, and you would find yourself on the other side, presumably only surrounded by people who agree with you one hundred percent of the time. It seems you think it a bad thing that people can temporarily overcome their differences when faced with a common problem. That’s why some call you radical: you cannot ally with anyone who isn’t in complete lockstep with you, because they are not pure enough in their conviction. But that’s what fracturing societies are made of, so if you don’t mind I’ll stick to my methods. If that leaves you outnumbered on your side of the board it’s because you chose to champion a very unpopular opinion, and I can’t help that.

...and you’re not really taking a position, but claiming to believe in whatever would need to be true in order to score points against me.

If I did that then why even bother engaging with me? Clearly I don’t actually believe anything I say, so there’s no need to convince me otherwise. Are you sure it’s me who is supposed to have contradictory opinions? But in all seriousness, I don’t see why I would ever adopt such a strategy unless I’m either just a troll or addicted to arguments, and hey: there are people like that, but they don’t represent your entire political opposition. Get a grip.

After that we get the title drop, which, I have to admit, was really clever and amusing. I never watched Seinfeld, but maybe I should. Anyway, my free Saturday is passing me by like a speeding train, so I will continue this later.... maybe.

#innuendo studios #alt-right #chan culture #SJW

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ajoraverse · 6 years

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So! I finally got subs for the episodes. I am hard of hearing and some characters are impossible for me to make out without help.

I dunno, my dudes. This bomb seemed way too fast for me, and leaves a lot of things dangling as a result.

Thoughts behind cut.

Now We're Only Falling Apart: You know what? This is the episode practically every pearlrose shipper wanted. Susan Egan is delightful. However, that final order and its implications casts a pall over it that frankly makes Pearl's entire account feel like a concentrated effort to reassure Sapphire and Steven that *really*, things weren't as bad as we thought. Yet, we all know the result: any happiness Pearl gave PD/Rose (that thing she was made for) was transitory, Rose made a habit of venturing off with human playthings and then decided to off herself 4realz, and ultimately Pearl suffered for it. With the roots rotten as they are, is it worth keeping the bush around? Dang, I dunno. It all feels very handwavey and pat.

Also, Sapphire let up way too quickly. She deserved to be mad as long as she wanted. At least Pearl is able to admit that Rose was a bit foolish and selfish. Can you imagine season 1 Pearl saying anything like that?

What's Your Problem: I had to have the srt file on the side for this because the srt file is timed for an intro-free episode and ugh, I didn't want to have to rewrite the times.

tbh, Amethyst in the opening scene is me after this spate of episodes: playing the vidya games to avoid other people's drama. Except in my case, it's FF6 and the World of Ruin overworld dirge is... apparently enough to drive me back to the fallout lest it makes me want to do a re-enaction of Celes' big dramatic leap. (jesus that dirge is terrible.) So, yeah. I've seen people get on Amethyst's case for this and honestly? This is not her circus, these are not her monkeys. Pearl and Sapphire are in a sobbing positive feedback loop and nothing she says will help.

Pictured: Me, running away from FF6's terrible overworld dirge. Also, paperwork piles.

There's a lot I can say about the overloaded pizza visual metaphor and Steven bundling the mess away to be ignored, but others have done that more concisely. But, you guys, I absolutely adore Amethyst and Steven's relationship and it's such a delight to see Amethyst especially come all this way from the hurt person who lashed out in season 1.

I adore Amethyst, you guys.

The Question: Yeah, sorry Greg, but a name change is nothing compared to *a major colonizing force slumming with the natives*, but nice try. And look, I know Steven means well, but he's always trying to fix things and sometimes forcing it, and that's not always the way to go with people. All Ruby really needed was time. Honestly, I think she and Sapphire could do with more time to just be themselves.

Still, though, it's a nice breather episode, which is welcome after the intensity of the episodes leading up to it. And I am always, always here for cowboy/Western aesthetic.

Made of Honor: Bismuth screaming with her head submerged is probably the most understandable and relatable reaction to the PD=RQ reveal I've seen so far. Me too, Bis, me too. Bismuth is always a delight and I'm just so glad to see her again and I love that she made Ruby and Sapphire's rings. Also, don't think I didn't enjoy the little side-interactions Amethyst and Peridot have been having in the background.

The thing that always bugged me with regards to the Barn-where-characterization-goes-to-die was how Peridot's real personality got buried in trying to make Lapis happy. Peridot always seemed like she was trying too hard around her, while Lapis went on being miserable and playing along when she felt like it. I *hated* the barn episodes for that, because I've been on Peridot's end of that kind of relationship. Putting all my effort into trying to make an abusive person happy was exhausting, and frankly I'm still kind of mad at myself for not leaving sooner. Raising the Barn, therefore, felt a lot like a trip down memory lane.

Peridot doesn't need to push herself and censor her own personality around Amethyst. They tease each other, forgive each other, and ultimately are far more real to each other. It's a delight watching them because they act natural, like real friends, and none of Peridot's actions around Amethyst sound fake or forced.

Reunited: I know there was a lot of controversy over Ruby in a dress and Sapphire in a tux. As a butch-identifying lesbian, I understand and respect that controversy. Buuut... I also know that I came across people who insisted that Ruby was a guy 4realz and anything you said to them slid right off them like oil on Teflon. At least this way, they'll have to work a lot harder with their mental gymnastics to continue insisting on that nonsense. And goodness, that kiss was lovely. Good luck with the censoring, CN UK. Also, Bismuth catching the bouquet is great <strike>and I hope she and Pearl are next in line for the marriage thing</strike>

I feel like the giant Cluster arm is an Attack on Titan reference I'm not entirely getting, because while I am aware of the anime, it never seemed like something worth watching*. I adore Connie and love that she's trying to ride to the rescue. I just really wish she wasn't a love interest**. And the battle was nice, I guess. I just... really didn't like Lapis coming back as if expecting to be welcomed with open arms. And boy, she's certainly had a lot of practice with those chains, hasn't she? I really hope the harm she did to others comes back to bite her or that she experiences *some* repercussions for her actions, but given how this show touts embracing love regardless of the consequences or harm done (see also: the romanticization of a master/slave relationship), I don't have a lot of hope.

"The more I make these gems suffer, the more I long to see you again, Pink." What the hell, Blue?

The latter half feels a lot like that overloaded pizza: there's too much stuff going on, and a lot of that mess is bundled off to the side. As I understand it, this was supposed to be a series finale? So I do understand the crewniverse trying to tie everything up. I'm just still very much not a fan of the PD=RQ development, the implications of rosepearl now (especially when Pearl was supposed to "make her happy"; is Pearl's independence a result of that or in spite of it?). And September feels like way too long for the wrap-up and addressing the corruption issue.

I suppose the thing I want most is for Lapis' harm to others to be addressed and for her to make a conscious effort to make amends to them, rather than *feel bad* about it again. And I really wish the show doesn't go into "but familyyyy" territory with the Diamonds. People in power rarely ever surrender that power, and it's going to take a lot more than hugs and feels and Greg seduction to change all the problems with Homeworld. But, like I said, I don't have a lot of hope at this point, and that's been hampering my fanworks a lot. I honestly don't know where to go from here. Do I continue them or just cut my losses?

Anyway, I'm going to go back to grind away in FF6 and drown out that dirge with some Queen. Friendly reminder that I'm still on the rez and my internet connection is still spotty, and anon asks are closed as a result.

* Don't try to convince me otherwise; I really don't like 90% of anime and male-lead titles all fit into that 90% of anime I hate. ** No offense to Connverse fans, but I am sick of het child crushes turned into romances and, well, Connie is 12 and season 1-2 Steven read like he was 8 a lot of the time. I really prefer them as friends.

#ajora shut up

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