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truglori · 3 years

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Homebody (Ch.14)

Summary: Amiyah is the younger sister of local drug dealer (Durkio). Shy and reserved she keeps to herself and stays out the way. But lately she began to find interest in his right hand man/ best friend (Erik Stevens). Wanting to get him to notice her she discovers that he already had her wrapped around his finger without even trying! There was only a few problems that kept her away from her fantasies , her brother that controlled almost every single breath she took and would kill anyone who looked at her that way and lastly Eriks girlfriend, Alexis , who they called the queen of the hood according to her lavish lifestyle as well as being with the next newest top boy in the making. While Alexis was his girl to the streets all Amiyah wanted to do was be his Homebody...

Pairing: Erik Stevens x Thick OC

Warning: Language

Lighting her favorite scented candle, Amiyah inhaled the fragrance with her eyes closed. After a long day at the boutique she wanted to relax with a good smelling room, dim lights, and her music playlist on repeat. Taking her hair out of the ponytail she massaged her scalp feeling relieved. After having it in so many protective hairstyles she decided to give it a break and let it breathe by wearing her own natural hair until it was time for her to get it done for the trip.

Laying flat on her bed with her legs twisting one over the other she scrolled through her phone. She wasn’t going into anything particular just wandering around for a while checking text, missed phone calls, and old pictures of herself on Snapchat. Clicking on her Instagram app it opened up to a relationship post from one of the pages she followed.

It was a post of a quick video of a boy laying on top of a girl who was rubbing his head. Amiyah felt a twinge of sadness prickle her heart. She longed to have something like that only for it to be a part of her fantasies and not her reality. She’s seen plenty of post like that before but this time it felt different. Mainly because she had an opportunity to recreate a small video of her own with the man she had in her hands and let slip away.

Amiyah regretted the moment she had broken up with Erik that night. Speaking without thinking, which was a trait she always had, she ended it with him before they could even work things out. Her stomach dropped when she witnessed him walk out the door and never came back like he always did. It wasn’t until the party that she knew her feelings for him was still there.

Amiyah didn’t know if Erik felt the same until they had their moment in the hall. The kiss very much dripping with emotion as their drunk but true feelings came out of hiding. Amiyah could tell that he missed her as much as she missed him. The only thing that bothered her was that she didn’t know the situation with Harmony. Was it to make her jealous? To try and get back at her for breaking up him? She wanted to know it all. But if it was real between them then she had no other choice but to fall back. Being a home wrecker wasn’t something she want as her reputation.

The sound of the front door closed and footsteps walking in the hallway had caught her attention. Looking at the time on her phone it was closed to midnight and Durk was finally coming in. Getting up she slipped on her UGG slippers and walked into his bedroom. Amiyah seen him sitting on the edge taking off his shirt leaving him in his white tee before leaning over on his knees to remove his watch.

“Knock knock.” She spoke making herself known.

Durk glanced at her with tired eyes. Amiyah could understand why knowing that he left the apartment around four in the morning.

“What’s good Miyah? What you still doing up?” He asked yawning.

“I just got done cleaning my room. You look tired.” Giggling lightly she moved near him and sat on the bed.

Durk shook his head smiling. “A nigga be out here hustling. What can I say?” Taking off the rest of his jewelry he sat it on the nightstand next to him.

Looking at his sister Durk knew that there was something on her mind that she must have wanted to talk about. Amiyah wasn’t always a direct person. She would try to talk about random things before getting to the topic that she really wanted to discuss. But Durk was the opposite. He wanted to know what a person had to say to him right then and there.

“So wassup. What you come in here to talk about?” He asked bending over and folded his hands together.

“Wha do you mean?”

Durk gave her a knowing look.

Amiyah sighed, annoyed that her brother knew her so well when she had something to say. “I wanted to talk about what happened at the shop the other day. You know whatever you and Erik was talking about.”

Durk nodded his head. “What is there to talk over? Didn’t you just say that Erik and I were the ones talking?”

“Yeah but-“ He cut her off.

“So then why are you stressing about it? It’s grown man business Amiyah. Don’t got shit to do with you.” He sent her a stern look.

Amiyah scoffed. “Why do you always have to do that Durk? Every time I try to help you, my own brother, you always push me away like I’m still some kid. If you’re in trouble then you should tell me. I have every right to know.” She stood up in front of him.

“Okay so even if I was Miyah what could you do about it? Hmm? How could you help me like you think you can?” He mocked her body movement waiting for her to answer.

Amiyah shook her head. It amazed her how things between them could always get so heated and escalate quickly. It was probably because they were both alike with their stubbornness.

“I don’t know we can go to the police.” She stated shrugging her shoulder unsure.

His laugh boomed through room. “Girl you better sell that dry snitching shit to someone else because you know I ain’t never been the one. Watch out now.” Durk stood up and walked to his bathroom.

Amiyah followed. “Durk I just want to be there for you. I mean isn’t there anything I can figure out for you. To relieve some of the stress I know you’re dealing with.”

Durk sighed glancing at his reflection in the mirror.

“Amiyah the best thing you can do for me is to stop worrying about me. I’m fine. Me and Erik is going to handle the situation. Focus on your own life.”

Closing the house robe she wore, she covered her body. Amiyah knew that Durk already had it made up in his mind and that there was no way she could be a help.

“Can you just answer this question for me please?” Staring at him with glossy eyes she asked him. “Did you do anything that could back fire on you?”

“Why you ask that Miyah?”

“Because if you did Durk I don’t want to and can’t afford to lose you. Mommy and daddy are already gone and you’re the only person I have left.” The tears that she tried to hold back fell one by one.

Durk pulled her in his arms. He kissed her head repeatedly. “Miyah don’t think like that.”

“It’s true. If I lose you then I would have nobody.” She expressed through her tears.

Durk felt a lump in his throat. He shook off the feeling to cry. It was something he hasn’t done since their mom passed away.

“Amiyah look ain’t nothing gonna happen to me. I’m gonna be straight. But even if it did I know that wouldn’t be true. You’ll always have someone.” He didn’t know what he was saying or why he said it but something made him speak with confidence.

Amiyah smiled when he wiped her tears away. She hugged him with all of the strength she had in her body ,embracing him and not taking a simple moment as them conversing for granted.

“Damn you coming in here fucking my high up and shit.” He spoke making them laugh together.

“Sorry.” She giggled wiping her face.

“You good kid. Come on let me show you something.” Throwing his arm over her shoulder he walked back over to his bed. Sitting down in their previous spots Durk reached in his drawer.

“Here.” He handed over a brochure that displayed an apartment building.

Amiyah flipped through the pages. “What’s this? Are you thinking about moving us somewhere else?” She asked becoming curious.

Durk paused staring at her before speaking. “Nah not me. Just you. It’s your new place if you want it to be after we come back from the trip.”

Amiyah laughed smacking her lips and trying to hand him back the piece of paper.

“Shut up and take your stuff back.” She stated not believing him. Her laughter died down when she saw that he didn’t join.

“Wait, you’re serious Derrick?”

“When have I ever played with you about something like this? I was gonna keep it a secret until we made it to Turks and Caicos but since we had that little heart to heart a few seconds ago I had to lighten up the mood.” He spoke honestly.

Amiyah was shocked and confused. Never in a million years did she think Durk would be the one to initiate her leaving and getting her own. She just didn’t understand why he was doing it and why now alll of a sudden.

“Durk why are you doing this now?”

She watched him hesitate. “Well because you’re getting older Amiyah. Old enough where I know you are gonna want your own personal space and not have your older brother all in ya shit.”

She shook her head agreeing with a smirk.

“Besides I get tired of coming into the house catching you in ya nasty ass grandma panties walking around thinking you the only muthafucka that lives here.” He joked.

Amiyah pushed him before laughing and leaning her face into his shoulder. “Shut up. Don’t do me.”

Durk laughed. “Nah but it’s time you get your own because a nigga like me get tired of fucking bitches at they roach infested crib. Them muthafuckas be there like they paying rent and shit.”

His genuine venting had Amiyah cracking up. She was laughing so hard her stomach started to cramp.

“Durk I can’t stand you.”

“I’m not playing girl I’m serious. But I’m bout to knock out. I been up all morning and I’m tired as hell. We’ll finish talking about this later.”

Amiyah nodded her head standing up. She walked to his door before turning around. She flicked off his light leaving a dim gloominess from the moon.

“Love you Durk.”

“Love you too. Night.”

_____________________________

“Will that be all for you two?” The cheerful waitress asked looking back and forth between the couple sitting down before her.

“Yes thank you.” Erik smiled showing his dimples.

She gave a polite smile before walking away.

Erik began to dig into his syrup covered waffles. They were the best fluffiest waffles he had ever eaten. It was Bendix’s diner famous family recipe that had him craving them every other day. Erik couldn’t deny that after Amiyah had brought him here on their first date he became addicted to the hospitality, homey feeling, and good food.

Hearing the sound of a fork clink in front of him brought him back down from his food euphoria.

“My bad. I’m just hungry as hell.” He hadn’t eaten anything all day and it was going on five in the afternoon.

She laughed. “It’s no problem. Thank you for inviting me out here. Everything is good so far.”

Erik wiped his mouth with a napkin giving Alexis a small smile.

“Yeah well you know why I asked you to come. I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on.” He spoke referring to the Shawn situation.

It’s been about three days since Durk informed Erik about a leak being in the circle. With only a handful of people knowing about the plan to rob Shawn they had to keep their eyes open and ears uncovered on everyone. There was no man being left out of the questioning. Erik and Durk was checking for everybody, especially Alexis.

With her being so close to him it made them wonder if she had somehow folded between the time of planning to even after the job was done. Erik wouldn’t have put it past her. It was easy for him to discover that she was a selfish who would turn on everyone just to cover her ass. He knew this the moment she revealed that Shawn was her off and on fiancé and how she didn’t have a problem setting him up. Alexis was a sheisty person.

Fixing her sunglasses she cleared her throat. “Erik I don’t know how that information got to him. You know if I did I would tell you.” She replied through her shades.

“So there’s no way you know?” He put his fork down crossing his arms.

“Erik it seems to me that you wanted to meet up with me as an interrogation instead of getting the information you need.” She put her elbows on the table folding her hands.

“I’m just calling it how it is. Shit was going good and all of a sudden word gets out about the way this nigga got hit move for move. Durkio’s name get brought up and you mean to tell me you don’t know shit about it? What’s wrong? You running out of the hush money he gave you?” His jaw clenched.

“No! Look things between me and Shawn have been tensed. Ever since the first time you assholes robbed him shit was getting out of hand. He was on edge trying to find the niggas who did it. It wasn’t that bad until he found his stash broken into when we came back from vacation. It’s been a living nightmare being with this nigga.” She finally pulled off the glasses revealing a black and purple mark on her left eye.

Erik sat up observing the bruise. His fists clenching and releasing. One thing he couldn’t stand was a weak pathetic man who liked to put their hands on females. This was surprising to Erik because he had never seen her with one before. With the time that him and Alexis had put in, she did do some shit that could irk the hell out of a man but never to that level where he would hit her. Erik felt that it was a sign of weakness with women already being vulnerable and not even having the same strength as a man.

“This nigga been hitting you. Why the fuck is you even with his bitch ass?” He stated pissed off.

Alexis rested her head along the palm of her hands.

“Because if I leave now I know for a fact he would try to kill me. Hell he’s already paranoid and suspicious about me. That’s why he’s been beating my ass the way he does. He’s fucking crazy Erik.”

For the first time Erik saw the fear cloud over her face. Alexis looked like she was terrified to bring his name up let alone to try and leave him. He started to feel bad. Despite of her mistakes in the past and her trying to come against him by blackmail Erik didn’t want to see her go through the pain she was probably experiencing.

“Alexis you have to get the fuck out of town. Take whatever you have left and don’t look back. It will be your best bet.” He warned her genuinely.

“I want to but it’s just not the right time. At least right now.” She paused hesitating to speak for a minute. “Erik could you just promise me something? Please?” Her eyes became soft as she held his hand.

He glanced at it. “What’s up?”

“Help me get out. When the time comes I want you to help me leave him. Please?” She begged.

Erik saw the fear and genuineness in her eyes. He shook his head agreeing. What could he say? He had a big heart for people who were going through. He experienced his own struggles and knew what it felt like to be alone.

“I’ll be here. Just say the word.” He replied calmly.

Alexis smiled squeezing his hand that she was still holding.

“I missed you Erik...I missed us.” She spoke before she could stop herself.

Breathing in and out slowly he removed his hand from hers gently.

“Alexis I apologize for what you’re dealing with on behalf of a real man but you know that there could never be another me and you together.” He spoke under his breath but loud enough for her to hear.

She sighed folding her arms. “I didn’t say I want us to be together I was just saying that I missed this and us how we used to spend quality time with each other.”

“Yeah well good things don’t last forever.”

Alexis watched him. He was becoming closed off and short answered. The only time he did that was when he was being bothered by something or put in an uncomfortable position. This must have been one of those.

She blew out air changing the subject. “Anyways I did have a little bit of information. After all that is my only reason for being here.”

Erik ignored her backhanded comment waiting for her to talk. “Go ahead.”

“Shawn has been getting word about someone going around town rocking his chain that was stolen. He’s asking around and he’s starting to get names Erik. I know you and Durk would never be dumb enough to do stupid shit like that so my guess is it’s the other motherfucka that went with y’all.”

“Cane?” His brows knitted.

“Exactly! I mean I get it. He’s a young hot nigga on the come up finally getting his hands dirty. He’s tryna prove himself but me and you both know that it would be that same flexin shit that could have him in the bottom of the ocean. So rather it be you or Durk, y’all need to check that nigga before he fucks it up for all of us.”

Erik nodded his head taking in every word. “Gotchu.”

Alexis put her shades back on and grabbed her purse.

“One last thing. Shawn is supposed to be meeting up with someone. I’m not sure if it’s related to you guys but I’ll keep you on post about it.”

Erik gave her a nod of acknowledgment and thanked her silently. He watched her get up and put on her coat.

“Be careful with yourself Erik. I mean that shit. You’re a good person that’s just tied into the wrong life. You’ve always deserved so much better.”

With that she walked out the restaurant leaving Erik behind with his thoughts. This had to be confirmation for him. For the last few weeks he’s been wanting to be fully done with this shit. He had enough money saved up where he could move anywhere across the country and not look back. But he couldn’t. He had unfinished business that he had to take care of first. Erik was never the man to leave his problems unsolved.

Taking out his wallet he pulled out a crisp fifty to take care of the bill. Grabbing his coat he left out and hopped into his car to go over to Durks. He wanted to inform him about the meeting that he had and also to warn him. It was about time they started to keep their circle tight.

___________________________

Banging on the door firmly. Erik waited in the hall until he heard the locks unlocking and came face to face with Amiyah. He took in her frame. Her face covered with her soft natural features that made her look even ten times more beautiful to him. Her healthy brown natural hair straightened with a middle part and falling just above her shoulders. She could rock any hairstyle but this one had Erik swooning over her in the inside.

It was a few seconds of silence before he spoke. “Hey is your brother around?”

Amiyah nodded. “Yeah he’s right there.” She giggled sheepishly pointing at him on the couch.

Erik looked in the direction as he saw Durk flipping the channel on the tv but he was eying the both of them suspiciously out the corner of his eye with his face scrunched up before shaking his head and giving his attention back to the screen.

“Damn I ain’t even seen that nigga.” He chuckled when he heard her laugh which was contagious.

“It’s okay I was just leaving. I’m going to Kelley’s so you guys be good.” She smiled widely before walking away.

Erik let her by watching strolled down the hall and into the elevators. She looked a lot happier today for some reason and it somehow made him feel better. Going inside he closed the door behind him and sat on the recliner.

“What’s up fool?” Erik said leaning into the chair.

“You tell me weird ass nigga. For some reason y’all two be acting like some fuckin weirdos when y’all get around each other. Laughing at nothing and shit.” Durk stated nonchalantly as he threw the remote down next to him.

Erik smiled. “Damn I can’t be the reason why she smile?” He asked teasingly.

Durk gave him a “stop playing with me” look causing him to laugh.

“What yo goofy ass doing here?”

Erik sighed. “You know that meeting I had set up?”

Durk nodded waiting for him to continue.

“It was with Alexis.”

Durk snickered shaking his head. “That wack ass girl. What she try to lie about this time?”

“Nah man to be honest. I don’t think she was lying to me. At least if she was it would be a damn good one but it just seem real this time.” Erik spoke looking him in the eye to let him know he was serious.

“Why you say that? Bitch suck ya dick or sumn.” He chuckled sitting up and grabbed his weed tray.

Bringing a hand up to brush down his waves, Erik rolled his eyes. “Nigga I said it because when I saw her she had a big ass bruise on her eye. That nigga Shawn been beating her ass because he’s paranoid as shit right now.”

“Hmph so don’t you think if he was doing that to her, that will give her a reason to go ahead and tell him everything she know? He’s suspicious about her so he starts punching her shit and then Alexis start throwing us under the bus. You can’t tell me different man.” Durk replied putting a blunt to his lip and lighting it.

Erik sat up sighing frustratedly. “Durk are you not getting what I’m saying? I mean it can’t be her because if he’s already beating her ass because he’s only suspicious about her then imagine what he would do to her if he found out that she was involved?”

He stopped mid sentence waiting for him to catch on. Durks face began to show an expression of realization when he thought about it silently.

“So if she end up telling him that it was us that robbed him and how she helped, she’d be dead before she could finish telling the story.” Durk added as he blew out the smoke from the blunt.

“Exactly! That’s exactly what she would be. Dead. It wouldn’t make sense for her to rat when she would only get herself killed. Which is why I don’t think it was her.” Erik retorted.

Durk smoked his blunt down half way quietly before he spoke again.

“We got to lay low. Shit is getting too hot and niggas is starting to know too much. I’m not sure for how long but we definitely gotta move in silence.”

“I agree. No more hits or jobs. Just have ya people work the corners and that’s it.”

Durk handed him a blunt. “Say less. It’s already done.”

Erik reached for the lighter that was on the table and sparked up his splif.

“She also told me that Cane running around here with that nigga chain on. She want us to check his ass before shit hit the fan.”

Durk shook his head. “Why do we always gotta clean up after grown ass niggas man? Yo when I see Cane I’ma fuck his ass up. Then I’m gonna interrogate him to see what he knows. Let him be the one. Fucking me over will be the last thing he does.”

“We gotta watch him too. He moves too reckless D.”

“I got eyes on him as we speak. Everybody’s a suspect. Except you. You the realest nigga I’ve ever known since I met you.” He inhaled his blunt.

Erik lifted his shoulders. “Loyalty is important to me. I go hard about that shit.”

“I know which is why I want you to come with me to Turks and Caicos in two more weeks. It’ll only be for a week but it’s better than looking over our shoulders over here. I’ll appreciate it if you accept the offer.” Durk asked giving him his full attention.

Erik chuckled. “Man what we going to Turks and Caicos for? What about your sister? Who’s gonna be with her?” He questioned him.

“That’s part of the reason why we’re going. I’m taking Amiyah for her 22nd birthday. It’ll be her first time out the country. Thought I do something different for a change with all the shit I put her through.” Durk snickered swiftly scratching his nose.

Erik smiled. The minute he mentioned the reason for the trip he was down to accept his invitation. A whole week away from the stress and drama to dinner on the beach with a view. This was something his body has been yearning for physically and mentally.

“That’s dope. I think she would really appreciate and cherish that man.”

“So what do you say? You coming or not?”

Erik tossed the roach blunt on the ashtray. “Nigga I’m fucking going to Turks and Caicos even if I have to swim my black ass over there.”

They both laughed getting back into good spirits.

“You one funny muthafucka man.” Durk chuckled reaching over to give him dap.

Erik smirked. “This might sound a little out of pocket but maybe I could bring Harmony with us. Only if that’s cool with y’all?”

Durk knitted his brows confused. “Nigga of course that’s okay. Why the fuck would I have a problem with that?” He laughed.

Erik shrugged his shoulders. The question wasn’t really meant for him but towards Amiyah.

“Shit I don’t know. I wasn’t sure if this was a family/ close friends only type of trip.”

Durk waved him off. “Look if shorty a friend of yours she a friend of mine and besides I think Amiyah would want to have another female on the trip that she could hang with.”

Erik nodded his head.

“But you must really like this girl. Thinking about inviting her and shit. Damn is the pussy that good nigga?” Durk asked leaning over towards him.

Erik laughed shaking his head. “Come on you know I don’t kiss and tell G.”

“Ahh whatever Erik. I’m happy for you though. If she’s someone who you can bring around and trust than I have no other choice but to like her as well.” Durk sent him a genuine smile.

“Yeah, we not official but she a good girl. Easy to talk to, smart, funny, and keeps it real as fuck. I fuck with her for real.” Erik replied thinking about Harmony.

Durk lifted his brows. “Aye but can I tell you something? All jokes aside.”

Erik turned to face him. “What’s up?”

“Between you and me...for a minute I thought Amiyah had a little crush on you or some shit. I even thought y’all was fucking around.” Durk snickered.

Erik’s stomach dropped. His heart even skipped a beat when he heard Amiyah and the words ‘crush on you’ in the same sentence. Putting on his best poker face he chuckled it off and pretended to be unbothered by his comment.

“What? Why you say that man?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it was just the way she used to look at you and act shy whenever you’d come over. Like earlier y’all doing that weird shit looking at each other and laughing. Fuck is that? Then there was the time you offered to bring her back to her friends crib late at night.” He explained scratching his head.

“Nah man. She’s cool. I like your sister.” Erik spoke sincerely making sure it didn’t come out the wrong way.

“ I don’t know man maybe it’s the weed talking but if you didn’t start seeing this Harmony chick I would have definitely suspected some shit about you and baby sis bro.” Durk chuckled.

Erik joined him to play it safe.

“Well you ain’t gotta worry about that. But look I’m out of here. I’ll get back to you on the information about the trip. Later big dog.” Standing up he dapped Durk up and left.

When Erik made it into the hall he finally exhaled the breath that he felt like he was holding in. That was too close for his liking and he was glad it didn’t get any further.

______________________________

Please excuse any mistakes!

Turks and Caicos trip in the next chapter!

Tag-List

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#black panther #erik killmonger #erik smut #erik stevens #erik x plus size reader #homebody #killmonger fanfiction #killmonger x reader #truglori #black panther killmonger

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emikmr · 4 years

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I’m Right Here (Lip Gallagher)

season 4 spoilers

summary: when Liam is in the hospital and all the weight goes to Lips’s shoulders, she’s right there to help lift it off, even if it’s just a little bit

lip x fem! reader

warnings: mentions of drug use, mental health, alcoholism, angst, and let me know if there’s anything else that I missed!

“Lip...Lip...” He was staring blankly down at the hospital waiting room floor. She had been trying to get his attention since she got there a few minutes before. She gave up and sat in the chair next to him. She sat on her knees in the chair and wrapped her arms around one of his. She put her chin on his shoulder and looked at his face. She could see the pain and rage on his face. She always knew what he was thinking, feeling, just by looking at him. They could read each other like beginning chapter books. “I know you’re mad at her. I can see it.” She lightly whispered in his ear, her voice was a little muffled from her jaw not moving from his shoulder, but he understood every word she spoke. He hates to admit to even himself that she’s right. He glances at her through the corner of his eye. “I know you’re hurting.” He scoffs a little. “Hurting? I feel like a big rig filled with hot steamy shit just ran over me.” He finally looked in her eyes. She gave a sad smile and leaned forward just a little to lock her lips to his in a shallow kiss. “I’m sorry, baby. He’ll be alright though. I mean come on, his Dad is Frank Gallagher. Frank’s not the only one who’s basically a cock roach. You all are, Liam too.” She reached her hand over to rub his cheek with her thumb and looked into his blue eyes while she spoke to him.

“I don’t think I can do this.” She watched as his lip quivered and tears started to pool in those eyes she loved so much. She raced against herself to tuck him into her neck and wrap her arms completely around him the best she could. “Hey hey, don’t cry. Debs and Carl are right there and I don’t think they can handle seeing their favorite brother and role model fall apart.” She knew it was better for him to let it all out, but she also knew it was important for Debbie and Carl to have their big brother be strong. They needed him to guide them through the next steps. Their big sister who raised them just got arrested, they needed him. “Why don’t we step away, huh? Go for a smoke? How’s that sound, bubba?” She pulled her chin up onto the side of his face so he could hear her better. He pulled himself out of her neck to look up at her. “I can’t, I have to wait to hear about Liam. Closest thing to a legal guardian right now.” She sighed and looked to V who lightly nodded and took a deep breath. “We’ll call you when they come for Liam.”

Lip stood first so he could give his hand to her to help her stand, even when he was hurting he would always be a gentleman, especially for her. He’d do anything for her, actually they’d both do anything for each other. He held her hand tightly and as close to him as possible. They walked in silence all the way down to the elevator. When the doors finally closed he pulled his girl to him, completely wrapping his arms around her and his face pushed into where her neck connected to her shoulder. He took a deep breath in and inhaled her smell. She threaded her hands into his hair and pulled a little. “Baby, don’t do that right now please.” He finally laughed a little. She used her grip on his hair to pull his head back so she could see his face. “Excuse me? You love it. You know that in your sleep you force my hand there so I can pull on your hair. You take a big breath and snuggle close and...” She couldn’t finish cause he was tickling her sides. “You’re making me look less manly, babe.” He smiled at her. “Yeah? You think that makes you less manly? Why don’t I tell everyone about how when we shower...” He put his hand to her mouth and stared at her with his jaw on the floor, “You wouldn’t dare.” He spoke with a playful tone. They laughed a little but it died down as he popped his own bubble and took another deep breath. “Okay, enough with the sighing, it’s fucking weird, bro. Just tell me what’s going on in that big, beautiful, way smarter than me brain.” She smiled and ran her hands through the hair on the top of his head.

“I don’t even know, Y/N/N.” His lips shook again, but he shook his head and pulled himself away from her and turned towards the doors. He put his hands on the top of his head so he could breath better. “I feel like I just ran a marathon. I can’t breath and I don’t think I’m going to be able to until I see his face again. He’s a baby, he-he’s my baby brother. I-I should’ve,” She stopped him by hugging his waist. “There is absolutely nothing, I mean nothing, you could’ve done.” She let go of him for a split second when the elevator signaled that they had reached the bottom floor. She held his hand and only let go so they could put on their coats and hats and so she could grab the smokes she had in her coat pocket. They walked outside and sat on the steps. He pulled the zippo from his pocket and lit her cig before lighting his own. They sat in silence while they smoked. She finally rubbed her cigarette on the concrete next the her and began speaking. “You didn’t know she had coke, Lip. You couldn’t have known, this isn’t like Fiona. You know that. She would never do that on purpose.”

At that moment, the dam cracked just aa little. He rubbed out his cig and finally let some tears fall. They made his cheeks a little more rosy from the cold. She knew better than to speak, so she just held onto his arm and let him cry. His tears didn’t last long cause he wiped them away and pulled himself together so he could look his girl in the eye. He had this weird thing about not letting her see him when he was weak. Crying in front of her was the biggest rule of his that he’s broken so far, he definitely couldn’t look her in the eye with tears in his. So once he pulled himself together he finally looked to her and gave her a small smile. He grabbed her face and smeared his lips on hers. He pulled away and smilded before pecking her lips once more. He was loking into her eyes when her phone beeped. She looked at her phone and smiled a little.

“It’s V, their asking for someone for Liam.” He forgot to wait for her as he bolted inside the hospital. She got up just as quick and ran after him.

“We’re for Liam, Liam Gallagher!’ His words were rushed as she crashed into his back from the sudden stop of his feet. “Great, do you know when Fiona is going to be back?” The doctor asked. “Not soon. I’m Liam’s brother.” He seemed a little impatient and frustrated with her, but only she could know that casue he hid it pretty well. “Is there another parent or legal guardian available?” The doctor retorted. “No, is my baby brother gonna be ok?” He was starting to let his feelings show. “I’m sorry, I need a responsible adult present to...” He cut her off and threw words at her full force. “My moms a bipolar drug addict who split, my dad’s a drunk and the cops took Fiona off to jail, alright? I’m the only thing that passes as a responsible adult that you’re going to get right ow. Now, how is Liam.” She finally let up and told him how Liam was doing. If you were in the room you could probably hear the shattering of everyone’s hearts. The only one not completely fucked, the innocent kid brother that everyone adored, overdosed on coke. When they finally let Lip back in the PICU, he didn’t want to go alone. He took her back with him, saying that they were married, he needed her.

“Y’know, don’t mean to be insensitive right now, but, I told you so. He’s a roach just like the rest of you.” She was laying on the bed next to Liam, petting his hair, and looking up at her boy. He chuckled a little and leaned over the bed to kiss Liam’s.” forehead and then her cheek.

“I love you too.” He sent a smirk her way before sitting back in his chair to watch them. He’s gonna have to make her his wife one day.

#shameless #lip gallagher #lip gallagher x reader #shameless imagine #liam gallagher #shameless season 4

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lesdemonium · 4 years

Text

romtober day 16: right person in front of them the whole time

Rating: T Ship: Geraskier Word Count: 2019 Summary: Geralt and Jaskier do not have the best luck when it comes to dating. At least they have each other there to make up for bad attempts.

read on ao3

“Oh no,” Jaskier said in lieu of a greeting as he answered his phone. “If you’re calling me, that must mean things are not going well.”

“Her wallet is filled with pictures of her cats,” Geralt answered with a huff.

“You love cats!”

“She has at least ten. She lost count.” Geralt did not sound amused, but Jaskier could not hold back his snicker. “She told me all of their names, and each one was more ridiculous than the last.”

“Okay, you can’t judge her on that. You’ve named every cat you’ve owned Roach,” Jaskier countered.

“I’ve owned two. At different times!”

Jaskier snorted and, though Geralt couldn’t see him, he rolled his eyes. He leaned back into his couch and balanced the phone on his shoulder as he tried to eat the noodles he had prepared. It wasn’t going well, but he hadn’t expected it to.

“So, are you coming over, or what?” Jaskier asked with a mouthful of noodles, which mostly made it to his mouth. Who was going to judge him? Geralt?

“Yeah. Open your door.”

Jaskier jumped a little at the rap at the door. As he got up, and put his dinner down, he ended the call and fixed Geralt with his best withering stare as he pulled the door open. “You know, it’s a little suspect that you manage to get inside the security door every single time without my help,” Jaskier said, though he stepped back to let Geralt in.

“You spilled something on your shirt.”

Jaskier huffed, but it was largely for show. Seconds later, they were sat on the couch together, their bodies so close they touched every time either one of them moved. Geralt moaned about Jaskier eating messily, and Jaskier ate even messier just to bother Geralt. It was nice. It was far better than Jaskier’s plans of a night to himself watching trash T.V.

“So, she wasn’t the one?” Jaskier asked, some time later. Geralt only snorted in answer.

Jaskier was more than a little drunk. And more than a little sad. And setting his drop-off address for the Uber to be his best friend’s apartment probably wasn’t the best idea he’d ever had, but it also wasn’t the worst. The jury was out on which of his decisions was the worst, but Jaskier was sure Geralt and Yennefer both had a few ideas, and it was definitely not this particular decision.

It was the decision that made him feel the most comforted, however, and that was what Jaskier needed right now. Even if Geralt took a little too long to open the door after Jaskier knocked. He grew anxious, in that time, and began to bite on his thumb nail as he considered his options. He couldn’t call another Uber--his phone was about dead. He couldn't walk home, it was entirely too far. Jaskier knocked again.

Geralt’s glaring face greeted him a second later.

“It’s the middle of the night, Jas--”

He barely got the words out before Jaskier forced himself past Geralt and into the apartment. Jaskier stopped, though, because really his plan had only gone as far as to get him inside, and now that he was standing in the entryway he didn’t know what to do with his hands, his body, anything.

“I think I’m going to be alone forever,” Jaskier finally said, and his shoulders slumped.

Geralt hesitated a second, then Jaskier heard the door close. “Come on,” Geralt said, taking Jaskier’s forearm and pulling him to the couch. He sat Jaskier down on it and handed him a blanket. The only way he could have made Jaskier feel more like a child would have been by laying the blanket out for him, but Jaskier found himself comforted rather than condescended to. It was nice.

“You and Virginia broke up?” Geralt asked some time later as he sat on the couch beside Jaskier and handed him a cup of tea. Jaskier nodded. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

So they didn’t. Instead, Geralt told Jaskier all about Ciri’s middle school drama and the dog he had helped rehabilitate that day. Jaskier didn’t tell Geralt about anything of consequence, only listened quietly--unless the story called for an interruption, as middle school drama often did--until he drifted off to sleep.

When he woke up, he was in Geralt’s bed, and the apartment smelled like pancakes and syrup.

He hasn’t shown up.

Jaskier didn’t often use punctuation in his texting--that was more Geralt’s bag. But this situation called for punctuation. Of course his first attempt at a date after his breakup would result in Jaskier getting stood up. It only made sense. Still, it was embarrassing, and Jaskier kept ducking his head to avoid the pitying glance his waitress gave him.

When were you supposed to meet? Geralt sent back.

Jaskier huffed. Half an hour ago. This was stupid. I knew it was too early, too unlikely. He could probably smell the desperation.

Where are you at? The restaurant still?

Yeah. Though I’m about to leave. I can’t take the shame anymore.

Give it ten more minutes.

When the waitress came back, Jaskier offered her an apologetic smile. “No, sorry, still not here. Might as well just--”

“Sorry I’m late.”

Jaskier looked up, astonished, to see Geralt sliding into the chair across from him. Geralt hardly looked at Jaskier, though. Instead, he smiled at the waitress and ordered a bottle of wine and an appetizer Jaskier hadn’t even looked at.

“Geralt,” Jaskier said, once the waitress had left. There was a bit of a spring in her step now, as if she was pleased at the way things turned out. “What are you doing here?”

Geralt shrugged, then took a sip from the water in front of him. All the ice had melted and it was close to overflowing. “No sense in wasting an evening. I was hungry.”

Jaskier beamed at his friend and rolled his eyes, but let the matter drop entirely. This was a far better way to have dinner, anyway. Jaskier probably wouldn’t have wound up liking the guy. And Geralt had much better taste in appetizers, Jaskier was sure.

Geralt didn’t even bother knocking before he opened the door. Jaskier only just barely masked his shriek with a gasp, but didn’t manage to do the same with his jump, and as a result banged his head on the cabinet he had just opened. He wasn’t sure which look was more unimpressed--Geralt’s or his own.

“Who just walks in like that, Geralt?” Jaskier demanded, crossing his arms.

“Who just leaves their apartment door unlocked?” Geralt countered.

Jaskier shrugged, and instead of pulling out one plate for himself, he pulled out two. He put his dinner--a pasta dish, and really he needed to figure out cooking something other than carbs, but they had to stop tasting so good--and held it out as a silent offer to Geralt. As Jaskier suspected, he took the plate, then sat at Jaskier’s very-unused table. Ugh. That meant Jaskier would have to sit there, too.

“To what do I owe this pleasure?” Jaskier asked as he sat across from Geralt. “Didn’t you have a date tonight? I thought this one was promising.”

Geralt shrugged and didn’t even look up from his plate. “I cancelled. It didn’t seem worth it. The last four dates haven’t gone well, why would this one?”

“You didn’t even give him a chance,” Jaskier said, pointing his fork at Geralt. “What if he was the one?”

Geralt snorted and finally met Jaskier’s eye. “I highly doubt he was the one. I’m taking a break from it all. I only signed up for the stupid app in the first place because you and Yen wouldn’t leave me alone. I’m just… not interested.”

Jaskier sighed dramatically, but pressed no further. Geralt seemed as if his mind was made up, and nothing Jaskier said at this point would change it. As he thought on it, though, Jaskier wasn’t sure he even wanted to change Geralt’s mind.

Geralt was definitely ignoring him. Jaskier was standing there, dressed up, holding dinner from Geralt’s favorite restaurant and a bag of goodies, pounding on the door, and Geralt was ignoring him. Jaskier refused to let this happen, however.

“Geralt, I know you’re in there. Ciri told me you were home tonight!” Jaskier called through the door. He had paused his knocking just long enough to say that, but he started up again, this time with far more force than was necessary. So much force that when Geralt swung the door open, Jaskier staggered forward, caught off guard.

“Jesus, Jaskier, what?”

“Aren’t you going to invite me in?” Jaskier asked, straightening up and grinning at Geralt.

Geralt glared at him for a moment, but eventually he stepped back and motioned for Jaskier to enter. Jaskier set down his bags of goodies and turned to Geralt, suddenly flustered beyond belief.

“Right, well…” he started, then trailed off. He hadn’t let himself think of his speech--it made him too nervous. But now that he felt woefully underprepared, he wished he had run through it in front of the mirror a few times.

“What, Jaskier?” Geralt asked. His eyebrow raised and he looked over at the bags, then up and down Jaskier himself. “Are you okay?”

“I brought--” Jaskier started, then paused. He cleared his throat, then motioned toward the bags. “I brought food. And. Some other things. To make this… big gesture. But, I have to get something out first.” Jaskier stopped, then met Geralt’s eye. Geralt just watched him expectantly. “You’re not dating anyone.”

Geralt clearly hadn’t expected that, judging by the way his face scrunched up in confusion. “No, obviously I’m not.”

“Do you--want to date me?” Jaskier asked, then winced. Fuck. That hadn’t been part of even his hasty planning.

“Jaskier, what--” Geralt asked, his eyes wide, but Jaskier barrelled on.

“You’re my best friend. And. And I love spending time with you, and things are so easy between us, and whenever I’m upset, you’re the only one I want to see. Whenever I’m happy about something, I want to tell you first. Nothing has ever worked, no other relationship I’ve had, but this one always works. And for the longest time, I was afraid that… pushing things further would ruin things for us. That if we brought feelings into this, that we’d lose what we have.” He paused, and took a deep breath. “But I’m not afraid anymore.”

Geralt watched him, but his face betrayed nothing to Jaskier. Except maybe a bit of disbelief. That was okay, Jaskier could give him time to process this. After he finished.

“I think I love you. I think I’ve loved you for a really, really long time. I think you love me, too. I think that’s why you decided to stop dating.”

Jaskier stepped closer. He walked right up to Geralt, then stopped when there was just an inch between their feet. Geralt could close the gap, or not, with very little effort. If only he took it.

“That’s… an interesting conclusion to come to,” Geralt answered, and his voice was the picture of calm and collected. The way his eyes darted around Jaskier’s face told Jaskier a different story. Jaskier grinned.

“It’s the right one.”

“You sound sure,” Geralt answered. Jaskier saw the barest hint of a smile, right there, at the corner of Geralt’s mouth.

“I am.”

Geralt stared at him a moment longer, and Jaskier let out a huff.

“Geralt, I don’t mean to push you, but I kind of bared my soul there. If you could throw me some kind of bone, or kiss me, or--or do something other than just stare at me like a--”

Geralt’s answer was to cup Jaskier’s face between his hands and drag him in for a kiss. Jaskier didn’t mind being interrupted. He also didn’t mind that their food grew cold; he barely even noticed. All that mattered was that he was right, and Geralt was a fantastic kisser.

#geraskier #geralt x jaskier #jaskier x geralt #geraskier fanfic #geraskier modern au #geraskier au #geraskier fanfiction #my writing #romtober

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seros-tonin · 4 years

Text

Sleepy Sesh

Summary: Sleeping never came easy for you. Sero understood that, and always tried his hardest to help you get the best sleep you possibly could.

Rating: Technically MA, really only mentions of drug use

Genre: Fluff. Just super cute and fluffy :)

The night seemed to be dragging on. No matter which position I laid in, nothing felt even remotely comfortable. I felt bad, tossing and turning over every twenty minutes. Poor Sero, the one night a week he asks me to stay at his pace and I keep him up all night. I let out a slightly annoyed sigh as I sat up. With my back slightly against the pillows I put my head in my hands. What could I possibly do to just simply sleep? Why was it such a difficult task? Exhaustion and frustration took over as I let out another sigh, this one much louder and more strangled than the last. I felt Sero’s frame shift as he lay his head facing me. Without opening his eyes he let out a deep breath.

“Can’t sleep?” he asked without opening up his eyes. He was well aware of how difficult sleep was at times. Either getting to sleep or staying asleep.

“No. Just one of those nights again, I suppose.” A crooked frown splayed on my face.

“Yeah, I could feel you trying to get comfy.” Sero responded, a little muffled since he still hadn’t lifted his head from his pillow.

“I’m sorry cariño, I’m probably going to head out to the couch. You need to do stuff tomorrow, I don’t want to keep you up.” I sheepishly whispered, beginning to remove the blanket from my legs.

“Who says that not having you in the bed would help me sleep?” He raises an eyebrow while opening up his eyes. His hand gently reaching to grip my wrist. “Stay mi amor. I will help you fall asleep.

“Hanta, you don’t have to. Please get some sleep, I will fall asleep soon out on the couch I’m sure.”

“I can barely ever sleep when you aren’t next to me. I get you one night a week, I’m not letting you sleep in the next room over.” He chuckled as he sat up next to me. “Let’s get you a little sleepy, shall we?” He asked while turning the LED lights on a slightly higher setting.

I watched him amusingly, wondering how more light would help me sleep. I kept a curious eye on him while he reached over to the small desk near his bed. It clicked as soon as he reached for the top drawer.

“I can pitch in next time, I feel bad always relying on yours.” a small chuckle left me.

“No worries cariño, I enjoy sharing with you.” he smirked while grabbing the tray out of the drawer and plopping down next to me. “What are you feeling tonight mi vida? I got some new strawberry papers, or a bowl that I should have cleaned like four days ago.” He slightly chuckled, obviously amused by himself.

“Not because I think you're gross or anything, but let’s do the papers.” I replied while scooting closer to him.

It was always so calming to watch him while he crafted,as he liked to call it. The way his fingers moved so gently yet precisely, truly beautiful. I grabbed the grinder to help him out at least a little bit.

“Can we use some of your keef tonight babe? I really just want to get some good sleep with you.” I slightly pouted. “I promise I will buy you another one of those edibles that Jirou gave me.”

“Deal.” he smiled while grabbing the grinder from me, laughing slightly at my proposition.

I smiled to myself just enjoying watching him. I lay my head on his shoulder, careful not to mess him up. He gently grabs the paper, spreading out the grinded weed, and adding what keef he has left over. He has always been the best at rolling out of the whole group. Oftentimes he would try to teach Mina and me, only for us to give up after two tries, reasoning how we will never have to learn because we have him. He looked at me from the side, bringing up the paper to his lips and slowly licking the edge. The dim light only seemed to make him look even more beautiful that I seemed to remember. I smiled giddily, not being able to stop myself from cupping his face in my hands.

“You’re cute Hanta, y’know that?”

“I’m aware, but thank you.” He smiled at his own joke, scrunching up his nose in the process. I had no choice but to bring him in for a chaste kiss, hoping that the kiss alone was able to tell him just how cute I thought he was. He simply smirked as he resumed finishing up the joint. “Here you go mi amor! You can start it if you’d like.” He reached out the joint towards me, a big smile across his face.

“If you insist mi vida.” I grabbed the joint gently from him, the lighter following shortly after. The pale pink paper looked so pretty in the dim light. I brought the joint to the end of my lips, the lighter in my other hand. I flicked the lighter to ignite the end of the joint, inhaling slowly, enjoying the first hit. Even though we had smoked earlier in the night, it had knocked Sero out about an hour ago, leaving me with a pretty set buzz still. We both knew that this joint would knock me out enough to get me a couple hours of sleep. I took another hit, drawing it out, just simply enjoying it.

“I like this paper, you should get it more often.” I offered before exhaling.

“They’re pretty good, aren’t they? I still think the tangerine ones are my favorite though.” he replied, taking the joint as I handed it to him.

“Of course they are.” a small satirical eye roll following along with my reply.

We both giggled at my response, falling into a comfortable silence afterwards. The remainder of the joint was spent in that silence. I moved closer into Sero, wrapping my arms around his side, his arm wrapped around my shoulders. At some point he started just passing the joint to me, allowing me to hit it while he held onto it. It allowed me to get more comfortable next to him.

“Wanna try something mi amor?” He questioned.

“Sure.” I simply replied, lifting my head slightly to look at him.

“I want to shotgun with you.” a smile spread across his face.

“Okay!” The excitement more than likely eminent on my face.

He moved slightly so that we were facing one another. Bringing one of his hands to cup my cheek while the other brought the joint to his lips. He kept eye contact with me while he took the hit, making me blush slightly. The pure intimacy between this action was weighing down around us. Comfortable still, though. As he pulled the joint away from his lips, holding his breath, he inched closer and closer to my lips. Sero was careful not to get the joint too close to my face as he brought up his opposite hand to cup my other cheek.

We both shared a small smile before closing our eyes, letting our lips connect. As I felt him exhale, I inhaled, feeling the faint smoke enter my lungs. The feeling of the flowing smoke mixed with the already heightened emotions from the weed only made the action that much more incredible. As I felt him back away from me, I slowly opened my eyes. I went to slowly part my lips as he broke my thought.

“Hold it, mi vida.” Quiet, yet still impactful. I held the smoke in my lungs for a while as Sero simply watched me with an amused smirk. That damn smirk. He leaned in and gave me a gentle kiss. As he pulled away he said, “Okay hermosa, let it go.”

I exhaled, watching as a small cloud exited above us. I gave him a small smile in return, settling ourselves back into our prior positions. Sero brough the joint back to his lips, taking a small enough hit to make sure to not clear the last of it. He brought the rest of the joint close to my lips, waiting until I parted them to bring it closer. I took a big inhale, knowing that this would most likely be my last hit before we were left with a roach. I opened my eyes after trailing away from the joint, meeting Sero’s own looking at me. I gave him a confused look, but holding in my smoke, waiting to voice my confusion. He smiled at me while taking the last hit of the joint, a small chuckle leaving his lips before he inhaled.

“What did I do?” I asked horsley as I let the smoke leave my lungs.

He shook his head, doing the same as me and waiting before opening his mouth. I waited patiently, simply looking up at him. I’m sure it was the mix of the drug in my body, but I was brought into the most loving headspace for the man. I smiled as brightly as possible, simply waiting for his answer.

“You’re just so amazing. Mi todo. “ he said after slowly exhaling. “What about me? What’s with the heart eyes, huh?”

“A mí también.” I softly spoke, not breaking my gaze from him. He simply smiled at me, letting out a breathy almost giggle, before leaning down to gently kiss me.

“How are you feeling mi amor?” he questioned.

“Pretty fucking cool. Zoinked.” I laughed at my own response, in return causing Sero to laugh back at me. “Y tu?”

“Bueno, muy bien.” He looked at me with hooded eyes, still sparkling even in this dim lighting. “Let’s cuddle for a bit,” he proposed, reaching to turn the lights back onto their lowest setting.

We settled back into lying positions. Sero laid on his back, holding his arm up, inviting me to come lay next to him. I scooted closer to him, laying my head on top of his bare chest and resting my hand gently on his abdomen. He brought his arm around my shoulders, both of us letting out a relaxed sigh at the same time. We just sat for the remainder of the night, relaxation taking over us. The mix of the dimly lit room and the whirlwind of feelings from the weed completely taking over. It felt as though we couldn’t get close enough to one another. We kept scooting closer and closer to one another (even when there was already no space between us). As I moved to drape my arm over his torso I felt all of his muscles relax.

“Te amo, mi amor.” he expressed in a gravely whisper. He placed the smallest possible kiss to the top of my head while bringing me closer to him.

“I love you too cariño.” I whispered back, resting my head closer to his chest.

Both of us were too influenced to even think about talking. So we simply let the comfort of one another take over, engulfing us in a dream like state. The steady beat of Sero’s heartbeat only added to the feeling, and I very soon felt sleep completely take over me. The feeling of being held by Sero not leaving me the whole night, meaning that we both finally got the deep sleep that we both needed.

#bnha #sero hanta #sero fluff #sero smut #stoner sero #cellophane #sero x reader #sero x yn #sero fanfic

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abluescarfonwaston · 4 years

Text

Shapeshifter Au -4

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Inspired by @spielzeugkaiser art here

So. Geralt knew.

He didn’t know how long Geralt had known for. Didn’t particularly want to know.

Had he just worked it out from his scent as a bear? Had he recognized the lute that was smashed on Filavandrel’s floor? Had he used his Witcher senses to figure it out when he was a lark with a broken wing sleeping in his saddlebag? Was it some little tick that had given him away of there months together?

He didn’t want to know.

He woke up the morning after the incident and promptly shifted into his human form. Packed up his part of camp and waited.

Waited for the questions, for the false promises, for the placating words.

‘I wont tell’ ‘How does it work?’ ‘You’re still Jaskier’

Geralt groaned, sitting up slowly. Blinking sleep from his bleary eyes that rare way he did when he felt safe upon waking. Found him across the burnt out fire.

He tensed.

Geralt nodded and slowly set about disassembling camp.

The world skewed slightly to the left as they set off.

He waited for Geralt to snap at him to ‘just turn into something Roach could carry’ when he complained about his feet hurting too much.

Waited for Geralt to tell him to ‘shrink into something more manageable’ when the bed at the inn was too small for both of them to reasonably share.

Waited for Geralt to request he turn into something useful- to help track down a monster or carry his weight or or or-

It was easy to not shift. He went weeks without shifting as he waited. Waited for Geralt to make some attempt to be reassuring about how he ‘knew’ what Jaskier was or some request that made it clear Geralt thought he was some party trick or. Or something.

And still Geralt was silent on the matter.

It was annoying. It was so damn annoying.

That’s all it real was. He was annoyed. Annoyed that the song he’d worked on for two weeks had gotten a tepid reaction and that his chemise kept static sticking to his arms and it was hot and the bar was loud and and and-

And he wasn’t entirely sure why he was yelling at Geralt but he was and Geralt didn’t even have the decency to look affected by it. Just said his name warningly. And sure maybe he’d be embarrassed about acting like a tantruming toddler later but he wanted to hiss and scratch and draw maybe just a little fucking blood. So that maybe- fucking maybe- someone would understand just how pissed he was.

For the first time in weeks he wanted to shift. Shift into the angry tomcat he felt like. Small and angry in a world that was so much bigger and more dangerous than him but that still had claws. Could still yowled and scratch and make bleed because he might have been small but that didn’t mean he was helpless.

But he couldn’t. Because they were in a bar and everyone was staring at him or pointedly not staring at him and Geralt was throwing him over his shoulder and hauling him to their room. His fingers digging into Geralt’s shirt as he struggled to keep them from becoming claws ripping little pinholes into the fabric. He couldn’t shift because there were people and he was still yelling because he was still so fucking angry-

The door slammed closed behind them and Geralt shifted him so he was holding him up by the armpits and at least he had the decency to look a little irritated but he didn’t want to be held so he shoved a hand at Geralt’s face to push him away and-

And the shape collapsed under him.

He shoved his orange paw against Geralt’s face and lashed his tail and hissed all the same.

Orange. Most of his forms were brown. Because brown was the color of his hair and he liked his hair. But someone told him once that all orange cats were male and whether or not that was true he liked that. Liked that when people saw this form they’d know he was a boy.

Sometimes that felt important. Because most people couldn’t tell what gender most animals were and would just pick one for him. Usually it didn’t matter because he didn’t care but sometimes he did and he liked that maybe his gorgeous long orange fur made that more obvious.

But now Geralt wasn’t even looking irritated anymore! Even with his paw unsheathing claws threateningly against the stubbled skin of his cheek.

No he looked surprised and then it melted into a disgustingly soft smile. Swear to gods If Geralt tried to pet him right now-

Geralt glanced down at his tail, lashing back and forth without pause.

“Ah.” He was swiftly deposited on the bed, Geralt settling back on the floor. “The bar was loud wasn’t it.”

Well he didn’t know what that had to do with anything but Geralt just sat across from him, staring at the wall above his head. Not attempting eye contact.

That helped. He needed to watch Geralt but eye contact would have been too much for him to handle right now with every too loud noise from the bar still scraping at his skull.

Slowly his tail settled behind him and he let his eyes sink close. Safe in the knowledge Geralt wasn’t going to do anything.

He’d explained cat body language to Geralt several months back. Because Geralt had explained (heartbrokenly complained really) that cats didn’t like him. Because he was a ‘mutant’ and they knew it.

Which was complete hogwash.

They didn’t like him because he was a big unfamiliar person approaching feral cats who were better acquainted with the toe of a shoe to the belly then the gentle curl of fingers under their chin. Because he tried to approach them like dogs and didn’t have the time to win over anything but the cuddliest of cuddle slut and there just weren’t that many of those around.

Lucky for Geralt he was a proud member of the cuddle slut kitty brigade. After he’d concluded his lessons on how tail lashing was not like tail wagging on dogs- it meant they were highly stimulated and which could easily pass into Overstimulated- and how to introduce himself and all the best places to pet he’d taken his leave of Geralt for the evening.

Approached him as the cuddly fluffy orange cat he was within the hour. Making his home on Geralts lap and purring as loud as he could demanding all the cuddles he’d been denied in his human form.

That. That might have been when Geralt figured out what he was now that he thought about it.

He still wasn’t sure he wanted to know what had given him away. Especially if he couldn’t change it- like his scent. Or if he could- because then he’d have to. To stay safe.

He jumped off the bed and head-butt Geralt’s hands until Geralt started petting him. Laid down across his lap as Geralt gently covered himself in his fur with each soft stroke.

He should look into a white form. So he could really mess up Geralt’s all black color scheme.

Geralt’s hands eventually stilled and he begrudgingly shifted up. Tucking his head into Geralt’s neck he mumbled, “Shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

“Seemed like a bit of an overreaction to me eating the last mushroom.”

“You know those are my favorite.”

Geralt snorted and ran a hand through his brown hair. “It was my plate.”

“I have no idea what your point is.”

“Right.” He nuzzled into Geralt’s neck. He couldn’t really smell how they mixed together as a human but the shapes that could always found comfort in it. “You.” He paused. “Transformed again.”

His heartrate picked up and his gut start churning. He didn’t want to have this conversation. Ever really. He’d never had to and he didn’t know where to start. Didn’t want Geralt to say something that would make him angry or sad or break his heart. He just wanted to be a human for Geralt. Simple and easy and human.

Not that he was simple or easy. Or human. Probably.

Whatever he was it probably wasn’t human. Not really. But he wanted to be. For Geralt.

Geralt’s other hand came up and squeezed lightly around the long healed bone.

“I wont ask.” Geralt said as Jaskier swallowed a sob. “But I’ll help. If you want.”

“It’s not a curse.”

Geralt hummed acknowledgement.

“It’s just me. It’s always just me. Okay?”

Geralt made a noise like he maybe understood. A little. But not much.

“I can.” It felt weird to say it out loud. “Shift into anything so long as it’s still me.”

“Anything?” He saw the smirk and pointed stare he was making at the chair.

He smacked his shoulder. “If it’s me.”

He was living. Living and breathing and moving and thinking. How was he supposed to be something that wasn’t?

“Not like a Doppler then.”

“Would have thought the bear shape rather gave that away.” Dopplers could become anyone- but were restricted by mass. He wasn’t. Sure he shifted down or up in steps normally but that was because it was easier. Because feelings normally built in size instead of appearing all at once.

Geralt conceded the point with a nod. “Does-“ He stopped.

When it became clear Geralt wasn’t just collecting his thoughts he nudged him. “Ask.”

“Does it hurt?” Geralt wasn’t looking at him and his face was flat but he could feel the tension under his hands.

“Nope!” He reassured. Geralt tensed further.

“In the woods-” He started.

“Those were extenuating circumstances! I’m sure it looked terribly grisly from your perspective but I just couldn’t find a form that fit because.” He stopped.

“Because you were scared.” He nodded into Geralt’s neck. “Of me.”

He stopped nodding.

“Everything’s not about you Geralt.” He pulled back enough to glare at him. Geralt returned it. “It’s Not. Sure I was scared of you but I wasn’t scared of you. I know you wouldn’t lock me up and sell me to a circus to turn tricks or a mage for experiments or anything. I know that. There’s just a difference between knowing and knowing. Okay?”

Geralt studied him before slowly nodding. He tucked his head back into Geralt’s neck.

He wanted to stay here. Here with Geralt. It pulled a question from his gut that he didn’t want to ask- that filled him with fear even as it spilled from his tongue.

“What do you want me to be?”

Geralt’s brow furrowed and he turned his head to the bard.

“Come now you must have a preference.” A voice that was cocky and sure prodded. A voice that was his but was not his. “A shape you’d prefer me to be?”

His face turned and he felt distantly as his eyes glittered and a smile blazed on his lips. Feeling terribly out of control as he begged his heart to race. To respond. To fight whatever power directed his body without his command.

As Geralt’s lips began to form words he could feel the magic preparing to shape him. Bind him in that form. Lock him without shackle or key into whatever Geralt wanted him to be.

“What would it matter?” Geralt said, face relaxing into a small smile and raising a brow. “It would still always be you.”

He sank into Geralt’s shoulder as the compulsion faded, taking with it his fear. He didn’t know what that was and he didn’t particularly like it but- “It would be.” He agreed.

It would always be him.

#geraskier #geralt x jaskier #geralt #jaskier #shapeshifter au #today Geralt gets to pet a kitty #The kitty is Jaskier of course but still #also establishing the rules if your into that like i am #geralts a bit softy and that is all #writing

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radiantroope · 4 years

Text

Never Let You Go || Rafe Cameron

pairing: rafe x routledge!reader; john b x sister!reader

mentions: jj, topper, big john, kie and pope briefly

requested: no

warnings: angst, swearing, underage drinking, is heartbreak a warning, fluff at the end

a/n: this idea popped into my head so here you go! hopefully y’all don’t hate it as much as i kinda do

masterlist || add yourself to my tag list

FLASHBACKS ARE IN ITALICS

* i do not own this gif; all credit goes to the owner

“Why won’t you look at me?” you asked softly, sitting on the soft, unmade king sized bed.

Rafe stood shirtless across the room, chest heaving with heavy breaths. He had his back to you. One hand was against the wall in a clenched fist, the other running through his long hair.

“Rafe.”

“What do you want me to say? Huh?!” he turned to you, eyebrows furrowed and lips turned down.

“I don’t know, that you feel it too?! I would expect something a little more after I just said I love you!” you shouted, throwing your arms up exaggeratedly.

Rafe shook his head and let out a dark laugh. Something in his eyes changed and you felt a tug at your heart strings. After seeing each other for a year, you figured he would have the same feelings as you. Yeah you were never exclusive, but everyone knew you were together. Everyone knew Rafe wasn’t sleeping with anyone else.

“But I don’t, (Y/N). This has been sex, that’s all. Really good sex,” every word he spoke cut through you like a knife. Then he ripped out your heart and stomped on it right in front of you, “I could never love a Pogue like you.”

Just less than two years. You left home at seventeen and here you were, driving back through the same island you grew up on, almost nineteen now. Figure Eight looked just the same as it used to, a few newer, bigger houses were built. But it still looked the same. The Cut was no different. Your heart ached as you drove past the run down houses.

You arrived at the old house and parked behind the Volkswagen van. Memories flooded your brain of you and John B playing in the yard when you were younger. A frown pulled at your lips.

You walked up to the front door and tried the knob, turning it with ease and swinging it open. You grimaced slightly at the sight in front of you. Beer cans and bottles littered all the surfaces along with dead juul pods and joint roaches. The pullout couch was open and unmade. It wreaked of stale booze and marijuana.

“Dude, I’m telling you, they’re wrong. I’m not signing those fucking papers,” your heart rate sped up significantly when you heard that voice. He sounded so much older but still the same.

You stood in middle of the room as John B came out of your father’s old room. He did a double take, stopping dead in his tracks at the end of the small hallway. His hazel eyes were glued to your face like he’d seen a ghost.

“Hi, bubba,” you whispered, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

John B rushed to you, scooping you in his arms by the waist and squeezing you tight. You heard a choked sob leave his lips. One of your hands rested on the back of his head and the other arm wound tightly around his shoulders.

He was so much taller now. He looked like a full grown man. His hair was longer and his skin was tanner, more freckled than it used to be. But he was still the sweet little brother you remembered and adored.

“I’m here, shh, you’re okay,” you cooed softly, hand stroking over his curls gently.

“You’re all I have left,” John B’s broken voice had those tears falling immediately. You mentally kicked yourself for waiting so long to come home. You should have been here sooner. You’d gotten the call from Peterkin a month ago about your father’s disappearance, you just hadn’t worked up the nerve to return.

“What did I tell you? That’s why I told you to stay off the North side and stay away from those people!” Big John had been yelling for well over half an hour. Instead of comforting his daughter when she came home in tears, he was berating her. He scolded her for getting mixed up in the Kook life and falling for one of them.

“Do you think I meant for this to happen?! I was just doing what you told me to, Dad! I’m trying to make a better life for myself!”

“And how’s that working out for you? The real world ain’t pretty is it, sweetheart? Why don’t you be like your brother and get a real fucking job instead of mooching off rich scum!” Big John damn near flipped the kitchen table as he stood up. “If you don’t get your shit together, (Y/N), you may as well just leave.”

The office door slammed shut and you were left standing alone in the middle of the kitchen, hands shaking and angry tears streaming down your cheeks. In a hurry, you rushed into yours and John B’s shared bedroom. You pulled out the only two duffle bags you had and hastily started shoving your clothes in one. As many personal items as you could fit were shoved in the other.

John B sat crisscross in the middle of his bed. He’d been listening to you and your father fight the whole time. He knew what you were doing but he couldn’t let you go without a fight.

“You’re just gonna leave me here?” his voice was so small and pained. Your poor little brother was too young to have to deal with this. He had only just turned fifteen.

You stopped packing and stood up, turning to face John B slowly. He was staring up at you, tears swimming in his eyes. You walked over and sat down next to him.

“I can’t do this anymore, JB. I can’t live with him constantly looking at me like some failure,” you told your brother softly. It wasn’t just your father. Your fight with Rafe and everything he said was weighing heavy on your mind as well. You just wanted to get off that island and never look back.

“Then just make him happy! Do what he says and stay! I don’t want you to go.”

You smiled sadly and brushed your brother’s curls away from his eyes. You leant down and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. “I wouldn’t be me if I did that, bubba. I wouldn’t be living my life,” you explained.

John B’s arms wrapped around your waist and he cried into your shoulder, knowing nothing he said would make you stay. You held him tightly to your side until his cries were mere sniffles. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and looked up at you.

“I love you.”

You bit your trembling bottom lip and nodded, whispering, “I love you too, John B. Always. I’ll come back one day, I promise.”

“We need to throw a welcome back party,” JJ said from his spot on a chair on the screened in porch. He was rolling a joint, eyebrows knitted in concentration, eyes nearly crossed from how closely he held it to is face.

You were laid on the couch, hands behind your head as you stared up at the ceiling. You hummed in response, not completely opposed to the idea. One thing you missed about the OBX were the parties. People on the mainland just didn’t know how to do it like the islanders.

“Kegger at the Boneyard?” John B suggest from the chair beside JJ, eyebrows raised as he looked between the two of you.

“I’m always down for a kegger,” you responded while sitting up, letting out a small laugh. “Am I really about to go to a party with my little brother?”

John B scoffed and rolled his eyes, “Our parties are the best. You’ve been missing out.”

“I’ll just have to see that for myself won’t I?” you responded with a wink, standing from the couch and going into the house to get ready.

You went into your father’s old room and dig through your bags until you found a proper outfit. You took a quick shower to rid yourself of sweat and sand, using your favorite rose scented body wash. You knew there was a chance that you’d see Rafe tonight, and you wanted to make damn sure that you looked your best.

The party was in full swing at the Cameron house. Ward was away on a business trip, so Rafe was taking full advantage of having the house to himself. He kept checking his phone in hopes that he’d see a text with your name attached, but one never came.

Regret bubbled in the dirty blonde’s stomach at what he’d said to you a few days before. He hadn’t seen you since that night and he was craving the feeling of your lips on his. Usually if the two of you argued, it was only about a day before one of you was crawling back. He knew what he said probably hurt you so he was giving you your space.

Rafe’s eyes scanned over the crowd of people, hoping to see your familiar head of h/c hair. He didn’t find you. Instead, he made his way over to his best friend in hopes that maybe someone had seen you. You never missed a good party.

“Hey, Top, have you seen (Y/N)?”

The smile Topper had previously been wearing slowly fell. He glanced around the room and looked back at Rafe with an unreadable expression.

“Dude, what?” Rafe’s tone was annoyed. Clearly his friend knew something that he didn’t and he wanted him to spit it out.

“(Y/N)’s gone, Rafe. Word on the street is she ran away the other night. She left,” Topper told him.

Rafe stared at Topper with a blank expression, heart hammering against his chest. He turned quickly and made a beeline for the backdoor, ignoring the shouts of his name from behind him. He felt like he couldn’t breathe and needed to get out of that crowd.

The blonde Kook pulled out his phone and dialed your number, holding the device to his ear with a shaking hand. A dial tone pierced his ear before an automated voice came through.

“We’re sorry, but the number you’re trying to reach has been disconnected...”

Rafe hung up, breathing deeply through nose before trying again. The same message repeated back to him four more times. In anger, he threw his phone against the brick of the house with a shout. He ran his fingers through his long hair and tried to suck in a few shaky breaths.

“Fuck!” he shouted, slamming his hands against the house.

“Yo, chill out dude! What happened?” Topper approached his friend after seeing his outburst. He was shocked when Rafe turned to him with tears blurring his vision.

Rafe’s voice shook as he responded sadly, “She fucking left because of me!” He put his hands on top of his head and turned away. He didn’t know if Topper heard him, but he continued, even if he was just talking to himself, “I fucking told her I didn’t love her and now she’s gone.”

When you arrived at the Boneyard, Pope and Kiara already had one keg set up. John B and JJ carried a second one down to the sand. The were already a few people from The Cut there, catching word early of the party. You couldn’t stop smiling as John B passed you a cup of cheap beer.

You fiddled with the radio that was near the kegs until you found a good station. You turned the volume up and started dancing to the song that came on as you made your way back over to your brother and his friends.

“A toast!” JJ shouted, raising his red solo cup in the air. Everyone followed his actions with grins stretched across their lips. “To (Y/N) motherfucking Routledge! Welcome home!”

The five of you cheered and knocked your cups together then downed some of the bitter liquid. You grimaced as you forced it down your throat and shook your head in disgust. You did not miss warm, cheap beer.

A couple of hours passed and the Boneyard filled up with all kinds of people. Kids from The Cut, Tourons, and even Kooks. So far no one had started a turf war and you were thankful for that. You didn’t want to remember your first party back like that.

You had been chatting with a couple of your old friends near the bonfire when a blonde caught your eye through the flames. You excused yourself from the small group and made your way around the fire to the familiar person.

“Topper Thornton?” you spoke through a laugh, watching said boy turn around. He looked shocked at first then a wide smile stretched across his face.

“Holy shit!” he exclaimed, marching through the sand and wrapping you a welcomed hug. “When did you get back?!”

“Yesterday,” you responded with a smile when he pulled back. You found your eyes glancing at the people around him, looking for someone.

Topper noticed and his eyes drifted behind you, smile never leaving his face. You already knew who he was looking at so you didn’t bother turning around.

“You should talk to him.”

“I can’t, Topper. It’s been almost two years and I have nothing to say to him,” you sighed, bringing your cup up to your lips and taking a gulp of your beverage.

“Try, (Y/N). He was never the same when he found out you were gone. He’s been fucked up over it ever since,” the blonde boy tried to reason with you.

He fell silent and looked to his right just as you felt a presence beside you. You looked up and directly into the bright blue eyes you fell in love with. The eyes you still dreamt about. The eyes you desperately missed after all this time. They were your favorite shade of blue.

“Hey, (Y/N),” Rafe said nervously, clutching a red cup in his fingers. His other hand was shoved in the pocket of his shorts. He heard the rumors that you were back. He came to the party to see for himself if it was true.

The sound of his voice was a shot to the heart. You almost forgot what it sounded like for him to say your name. You felt dizzy, like you couldn’t breathe and suddenly, you regretted agreeing to this stupid party in the first place. Without a word, you spun on your heel and started walking away.

“Wait,” Rafe called after you, following your quick steps down the beach. “(Y/N) wait!”

“What?! What Rafe?” you screamed as you turned around quickly to face the dirty blonde. You had made it pretty far down the beach, just barely able to hear the music.

“I-I haven’t seen you in almost two years and you don’t even want to talk to me?” he had stopped as well, standing a few feet away from you.

You scoffed and shook your head, running a hand through your hair. You had dropped your cup back where you walked away from Topper. Getting drunk was the last thing on your mind now.

“What did you expect? Hm?” you questioned, taking a menacing step closer to the man in front of you. “Did you really think the first thing I’d do was come to you and beg you to take me back? Expect me to crawl into bed with you?”

“No- I-”

“So you can tell me i was just a good fuck and that’s it?!” you were thankful no one lived in the woods behind you or the cops would have surly been called at the volume you were yelling at.

“I didn’t say it like that!” Rafe yelled back, also taking a step closer to you.

“Ah, you’re right,” you smacked your lips and held a finger to your chin in mock thought. “Your exact words were actually ‘this has been sex, that’s all. Really good sex. I could never love a Pogue like you.”

You were staring at each other now. Rafe was frowning and your eyes were like a fire burning into him. He remained silent.

“That’s right, Rafe. I never forgot. Those words still haunt me to this day.”

He never forgot either. He would regret saying them until the day he died. And he didn’t care if he had to spend forever making it up to. He would give anything to take it all back and maybe you would have stayed.

“I didn’t mean it,” Rafe’s voice shook. “I was.. I was scared.”

“Bullshit,” you muttered and turned to walk away again. He caught your wrist and spun you back around, his face within inches of yours.

“You can believe it or not, I don’t care. I love you, (Y/N). I always have and I was a fucking idiot to make you think I didn’t,” his voice was softer now, ocean blue eyes staring into your e/c ones. You saw no trace of dishonesty on his face. You could see nothing but pure regret and guilt in his eyes. “I was scared of loving you. I didn’t deserve to be loved by you so I pushed you away. We were so young I didn’t think we could even be in love. I will never be able to take back the pain I caused you, but I swear, I will try and make it up to you for the rest of my life.”

Rafe’s grip slowly released on your wrist. If you wanted to walk away, he was going to let you. He said everything he needed to say, and he meant every word. He was shocked when your hands came up and cupped his cheeks. Your touch was delicate, like you were going to break him.

The truth was, he said everything you’d been waiting to hear for the last two years. Deep down you knew that’s exactly what he was doing back then but you were just too hurt to do anything about it. The fighting with your father just piled on top of that, so you ran away from it all. Here and now, you were ready to let go of that painful past. You were ready to be loved by Rafe Cameron.

“Say it again,” you whispered, hands winding around the back of his neck.

“I love you, (Y/N) Routledge,” Rafe’s voice was confident, hands finding their way to your waist. He pulled you closer, until your chests were pressed together and you could feel the rapid beating of the other’s heart.

You pulled his head down and connected your lips in one of the most mind blowing kisses you’d ever had. Two years of pent up emotions came pouring out. Your lips moved in synchronization desperately, savoring each second; making up for lost time. His arms wound around your back and lifted you, your legs wrapping around his hips.

Rafe pulled away and rested his forehead against yours, soft pants leaving his parted lips. You bit your lip to stop yourself from smiling like a giddy schoolgirl. John B was going to kill you when he found out, but that thought was quickly pushed away.

“I’ll never let you go again,” Rafe whispered through a smile before reconnecting your lips.

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shimmershae · 3 years

Text

My thoughts on Episode 8--For Blood

As always, placed behind a cut for those of you that would rather escape my babbling, lol. You’re welcome.

Sadly, I don’t think this is anticipation I feel. I’m pretty sure it’s dread but okay. Here we go.

This episode has to go up from the rock bottom boredom of last week, right?

Let me preface what I’m about to say with the truth that I in no way hate Maggie. She’s been with us since Season 2 and I have an emotional attachment to her, mostly due to my love of Glenn and the way he loved her. She’s not my favorite by any means, but the fact of the matter is, I do like and appreciate her and don’t mind that she is back because it’s nice to have old familiar faces with us to take us into the final season. That said? Forcing Maggie front and center after her long absence ultimately, IMHO, has not worked in these first 8 episodes. I can’t help but feel if ASZ had been the A story with Maggie/Negan and Daryl/Leah/the Reapers the B1 and B2 story? These episodes would have been better received overall and not feel so much like they’re trying so hard. Maybe lead me toward the water instead of shoving my head in it next time, Angela? Hmm?

Oh goodie. They’re opening at Meridian. Should I get my bathroom break out of the way now or give myself an out for later? Call it Shae’s choice, lol.

That flicker of a smirk Leah gave to Carver after their mini walk down memory lane had more spark to it than the entirety of her and Daryl’s toxic relationship. In the future, maybe Angela will lean all in on them instead of Leah and Daryl. Something tells me Leah knows this “brother” biblically.

Daryl recognizes Whisperer moves when he sees ‘em. Somehow, he realizes Maggie and Negan have banded together however reluctantly.

Pope doing it “Dixon’s” way but not allowing Dixon to do the actual thing shows the level of distrust and paranoia the man still haves for outsiders.

Look at Daryl chewing his lips with worry for his people. If he and Leah know each other even a little bit, she has to recognize that as one of his tells.

Ooohhhh. Who took the first stab at Wells? Maggie? Negan? Father G? I swear. I took my eyes off the “ball” one second and the whole damn play is halfway down the field. Sorry. If you cannot tell, I watched football with the fam yesterday, lol.

The Walking Dead logo didn’t crumble this time. Interesting. Parts of it looked like it had been rebuilt. With brick. Wood. Other parts of it looked reclaimed by nature. Call me crazy, but that almost looks like an eye/part of a face on the first D.

Okay then. Babbling nonsense about the logo over, lol. Tell me. Please. Anybody. How do the events at ASZ line up with the events at Meridian? Because it’s night and full-blown storming in ASZ and still daylight at Meridian. But hey. Thank fuck we’re in ASZ.

All the babies huddled together giving me feels. Sorry. I know some feel they have no place on the show, but I personally enjoy their inclusion from time to time. It usually plucks hard at my heartstrings.

Connie tenderly comforting an injured Virgil is sweet, not gonna lie.

Aww. Is that Hershel petting a scared RJ’s hair? Unless it’s a case of me not being able to pick out and place all the little hands, which it most certainly could be, I’m thinking Judith’s got her hand on her knee and that’s Hershel’s hand in RJ’s hair. Regardless of whose hand is where, it was a sweet little scene. What can I say? I’m easy because Baby Glenn and Baby Rick, ya’ll.

Oh snap. The windmill’s on fire and pieces of the wall are blowing down main street ASZ like steel tumbleweeds, lol.

Anybody else having flashbacks to the barn from Season 5? Good times. We still had most of Team Family with us then. They were in a bad place, hurting and lost and just trying to survive--when are they not just trying to survive?--but they were together. I miss them.

Carol and Lydia holding each other. These two, lovelies, have my whole heart.

Wells is Walker Jerky, Shaw. Stop wasting your breath.

“She did. My enemy.” I mean, are we supposed to get the impression Maggie’s been a formidable adversary to Pope? Because she feels more like a roach that simply knows the best rocks to hide under. Granted, roaches are hard to kill but still. I’m gonna need them to give us something better than Maggie being Pope’s enemy simply because she didn’t want to give up her home without a fight because this is frankly unbelievable and bordering on stupid.

Alright. So they’ve obviously been sowing the seeds of distrust and defiance between Leah and Pope because she doesn’t like losing family but Daryl? Man? You and Leah have differing opinions about how family operates. Trust me on this.

So. Three teams, huh? Aaron fighting the windmill fire, Carol repairing the breach in the wall, Rosita protecting the babies that represent their future. Choose your fighters, lol. Seriously, though. Why do I have the sinking feeling only one group is going to be shown actually doing their thing?

Listen. Am I pissed we haven’t gotten the scene we deserve yet between Carol and Connie after all that’s happened and we’re getting crumbs mainly because Angela wrongly feels the Reapers/Maggie & Negan/Daryl & Leah need more focus? Absolutely. You bet your sweet asses. But Melissa fucking McBride just took the crumbs allotted her and made a magnificent, work of art cake out of it trying all on her lonesome to feed us starving Carol fans.

Bless Connie wanting wanting to go with Carol. What a show of trust and sister-like solidarity that must have some hate-rotted guts about to turn themselves out.

I love Kelly and Connie’s sister bond. No ill will intended, but It takes the good parts of Maggie and Beth and elevates it beyond anything those two ever showed us. I really feel like that’s a testament to Angel and Lauren’s real life ease with each other.

Magna choosing to go with Aaron makes me wonder if it’s possible she feels some kind of residual guilt over Connie. Not guilt for anything she’s actually done, but simply guilt over making it out.

Virgil volunteering to help. Okay. Damn. I’m honestly starting to like the guy.

Judith offering to go with her aunt Carol had me all up in my feels. I mean, granted. It was a blink and you miss it scene. We really deserved a longer heart to heart between that little girl and the woman that’s sacrificed so much to keep her safe and loved her for so long, but you know I’ll gobble any and all Judith/Aunt Carol content up. Seems to me, Little Ass Kicker is just as afraid of letting Aunt Carol out of her sight as Uncle Daryl. My heart.

Gracie and Aaron are sweet. And honestly? I find them more realistic and true to what normal parents and children would be like in a ZA than Judith and Michonne no matter how much I love that bond. I mean no disrespect, but I really do.

“Why am I keeping you around?” Pope asking the question we’re all wondering.

Not Apocalypse Popeye comparing Daryl to a stray dog. Joe from the Claimers already declared Daryl an outside cat that thought he was an indoor cat. I did have to internally cheer when Daryl was like “I’m ain’t gonna lick it” talking about the helping hand Pope had extended him.

“Somehow she has turned the dead against the living. Oh, that’s impressive.” The thing about Pope respecting Maggie so much as an enemy is I just find it hard to buy, lol. Like if this had been Carol, yeah. But Maggie? Nope. They’ve mostly shown her (with Gage being the bewildering exception) to be all bark and no bite.

Has the house in ASZ really become that dilapidated that they can see through its walls? Because its original owners dodged a bullet if so.

Look at Grace hero-worshipping Judith. It’s sweet.

Virgil telling Judith Michonne would be proud of her is nice but doesn’t feel as earned as if someone like Daryl or Carol that actually knew Michonne well said it. But maybe that’s the whole point--Judith needs to hear it from someone she knows isn’t going to just say what she wants to hear.

Call me jaded, it was a touching scene, but also? It felt designed to allow Judith to move beyond her very normal and realistic feelings of being abandoned by Michonne, even though she gave her the “okay” herself. Like she’s still a kid. Wants don’t always line up with feelings. Anyway. Cailey continues to be a bright, shining little star and I love how she’s managed to make Judith a true amalgamation of all the people she’s loved who have loved her in return. Not just Michonne. I know people like to overlook and cheapen the fact, but it’s taken a village and entire family to raise her from infancy.

Gracie really should have known better than play in front of the windows during a storm period, but oh well. Plot point, lol.

Seriously, though. I feel like they’ve teased poor Gracie’s demise in a multitude of ways since the beginning of the season. I hope nothing ultimately comes of it but I fear it will. All I can say if the worst comes to happen is poor Aaron.

Where are Negan and Elijah though? Ouch. There they are, taking on shrapnel for the cause.

Ready the what now?

There’s ASZ’s Baby Sitter Extraordinaire! Barbara, is it? That lady’s been putting in the work since Season 5 at least.

I’ve honestly grown to love Rosita. More of her and less of Maggie, please and thank you.

“Let’s stay away from the windows.” I’m sorry but I had to LMAO at that. Still a badass moment though.

Gabe hobbling toward his assigned sentinel. At least they haven’t forgotten he’s injured like they seemed to forget Daryl was near death last season before the attack on Hilltop, lol.

“It’s hard to watch something you care about change.” Listen, Leah. Chick. You and Daryl obviously never really knew each other. It’s always been obvious but I have a feeling “DIxon” is finally going to show you, spoilers or no spoilers.

WTF are they calling that thing? Sorry. I have just as hard a time understanding Pope’s accent as I do Maggie’s sometimes.

That’s not love that has Daryl telling Leah she can come with him. That’s care for somebody he used to know. There is a distinct difference that’s obviously lost on so many. How can you really and truly love someone you cannot trust? Especially in Daryl Dixon’s case?

Why does Angela hate us so much? Giving us all these Reaper scenes and leaving us to simply imagine Carol and Connie and Kelly working side by side to save the wall?

I think I honestly could have enjoyed this whole Reaper storyline more, at least a little bit anyway, had they not retrofitted a half-assed romance between Daryl and the story’s weakest link and if only they’d made it the B storyline and given earned deference to the goings-on in ASZ instead.

I wonder if Glenn taught Maggie how to hot write a car? I miss my baby Glenn.

Apocalypse Popeye is several fries short of a Happy Meal. What else is new on this show, lol?

I care for Maggie. Mostly for nostalgia’s sake and Glenn and Baby Hershel but damn, man. She’s not actually proven herself got be worth killing your entire “family” for. But are too far gone, so. We’ll make allowances.

I will say at least this episode is not as abysmally biring as last week’s episode.

Leah finally giving Pope the throat punch he’s been asking for but I’m not fooled she’s on Daryl’s side here. She’s always been on her own side.

Look at Father G returning the favor for Maggie saving him in the tower. Taking Deaver down! Poor Deaver barely saw the light of day.

Here comes that woman scorned part. I can feel it.

“Pope is dead. Dixon murdered him. He’s with the enemy.”

Please, Angela. I’m begging you. Bring Carol into this story and ramp it the fuck up. You been idling too damn long and the car is fast running outta gas.

Bitch really has to die to framing Carol’s Pookie.

Rosita and Lydia and Carol and Connie and Kelly and Magna have literally been holding up this damn show while Angela farts around with the Reapers bullshit. Honorable mention goes to Aaron but these lovely, badass ladies been putting in the real work and not getting any of the glory. You just know they’re tired AF.

Not my babies Lydia and Judith being the cliffhanger! Oh and Gracie. Angela?! A word.

Listen. Carol’s already done that fireworks trick. That Reaper dude owes her royalties. Granted, it was on a smaller scale but much more impressive for it because she was left to be the sharpshooter.

Angela has a point. It is kind of cool how Team Family have learned from their enemies and assimilated their useful points into their own cache of knowledge.

I truly feel like the Leah/Reaper storyline would have benefitted from a much stronger actress. Just saying.

I know Judith annoys some with her precociousness but Cailey just keeps teeing off on what they give her and personally? I feel she’s so very talented and light years beyond her little acting counterparts so it still works.

“They’re never gonna choose each other over the people that they’ve loved and fought for because they simply cannot really trust each other. There’s sort of, like a toxicity at the base of that relationship.” Straight from Angela’s mouth.

“At the end of the day, Daryl chose his family.” Yeah, he did. That “I belong with you” shit only happened when he felt they were all gone, including the one he loved above all others--Carol. Fight me.

Overall impression of the episode?

On its own, disregarding how much I can’t help resenting how much time I feel has been “wasted” setting this story up, it was much more entertaining than Episode 7 which was only epic in that it was an epic bore. There was still too much focus on the Reapers when I just just kept wanting to see what was happening at ASZ. I mean, they cheated us out of Carol and Connie and Kelly working together. Of Aaron and Magna. Call it personal preference coloring my opinions if you want, but the characters I care about feel like they’ve been shown the backseat for this self-indulgent exploration of Angela’s OC and her version of self-insert FF with Daryl Dixon. If we can return to Team Family? The whole Team Family and not just Maggie and Co. against the world? You’ve got me. If not? Well. You’ll keep losing me by degrees and you don’t want to do that on the final season.

Anyway. The ASZ parts were my favorites per usual. The episode could have used a lot more of those.

#The Walking Dead #Season 11 #TWD spoilers #things that make me smile and cry #for reasons

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randomly-talented · 3 years

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Okay, okay, I'm not really good at making sentences work the way I want them but I'll try to convey my thoughts and emotions over the characters from Bug Fables after completing the game last night at 2:00 ish in the morning (I was weak and there no way I was gonna stop with all the stuff that was going on at the end. I'm the type of player that plays till a good stopping point) that being said there will be spoilers from here on down so you've been warned!

But really it's such a beautiful experience and i highly recommend going in blind to any new player.

Okay, on to the point. I know many people have decided on their favorite of the team and I'm not here to say "oh they're the best and you're wrong!" NOPE I'm not doing that I am trying to say is "they're all the best and you're so right to care for one but let's love them all". Each character has their own ideals and their own goals when we first meet them.

Vi (Violet) a bee who has essentially runaway from home after burning the bridges between her family and her "mother" the queen to become an explorer. An occupation that (based off context clues) is the last thing a bee does for a living. And this is emphasized with all other bugs that explore being not only bigger than her but NOT bees. And biologically...it makes sense! A bee, is to collect pollen and nectar for the hive and produce honey (which Vi use to do with her job at the factory) and biologically bees do avoid fighting since their only way of attacking is with their stinger. But unlike the other black and yellow bugs, a bee's stinger is a one use thing. After it's used, it remains in the creature the bee attacked and from the bee's body it takes their organs with it. (If I remember that correctly. It's been a while since I looked up why bee's die after stinging someone). But you understand the concern that other bees in Vi's life have for her becoming an explorer. But that isn't the only thing the Vi dealt with before becoming and explorer, she had to deal with many of her friends and family badmouth her dreams and guilt her from trying to accomplish them. As Vi said to her sister when they were trying to resolve their fight, "But if I can say something, you were mean to me too! I had dreams and you stomped over them! I'm doing great! I've gone to many places and beat up huge monsters! If...if you had any faith in me I could've done it sooner!" Even her desire of money is so that she can live how she wants without anyone telling her how to live. And it's a strong desire due to the fact that Vi is always trying to strike a deal or not spend their savings on expensive wants, shown through her reluctance to buy the green ranger toy, or her utter shock to the 400 berries flower toy she forked the money for. (Something that shocked Leif and Kabbu due to the fact that Vi just spent 400 berries on a toy for someone else)

Kabbu a beetle (who specific species I don't know) who is the definition of an honorable bug. Going out of his way to help others and if it weren't for Vi he'd do it for free. Which would essentially leave him homeless once that is said and done. Who through the majority of the game he's the voice of reason, passion, and inspiration. (With a skill "Pep Talk" he's able to revive a fainted teammate). And who wishes to create a team of explorers to call his own. I will say that Kabbu was precious. I loved how the only reason Vi and Leif got anything done or didn't do a crime, the chaotic duo that they are, was because of Kabbu and how his hesitance was enough to keep Vi and Leif from upsetting him further. But I do want to say that I found it odd how willing he was to behave that way. When I was playing through the festival I found it so weird how Kabbu was okay with not participating at all. Until I realized that I personally do that too. Kabbu was happy as long as his teammates were having fun. (Until you learn of his old teammates, who were trying to go to bugaria by going through the swamplands and perished to the Beast by holding it off while Kabbu ran away) Kabbu who after surviving the Beast alone had to make more than half of the journey to the Ant Kingdom alone, through a desert filled with monsters, some which he couldn't attack by himself due to their burrow ability, and bandits, with some bandits flying to high for him to do anything but run from. The entire time being alone to fester in the guilt that he essentially "abandoned" his teammates to die at the hands of the beast and how easy the desert would be if his teammates were there to help him. (Not only that but if I remember correctly Kabbu's old teammates were more experienced than Kabbu himself, which added to the guilt "if I was stronger they would still be around") And now the festival wasn't as happy as it was led to appear. Kabbu is okay with letting his teammates have fun because he doesn't "need" to have fun. Vi and Leif are placeholders for his old teammates during this event. If they can have fun one more time, I can truly be happy. I will keep them safe and happy unlike my old teammates. I will do all within my power to make sure my teammates are happy and safe. Because I didn't the first time and I won't make that same mistake. That is why when we collectively reach the grasslands Kabbu comes to the decision that he's strong enough to avenge his fallen teammates by defeating the Beast. Alone if he must.

Leif a moth (with the ability to control ice that they generate within their body) who is found after Kabbu and Vi stumble into the deeps of Snake mouth cave. And when they're awakened from their "nap" Leif has no idea that time has essentially changed. Now the Ant Kingdom has grown, their queen is no longer in charge but their daughter. And things aren't as peaceful as they use to be, the wasps and termites have cut ties with the ant kingdom, there are bandits left and right, and now there is need for a prison when in the past there was no such need. All of the bugs that Leif once knew are no more except Rebecca who is too aged to fully remember them. (If that's her name, I honestly was never too sure...) And it wasn't till later in the story that Leif is shocked to realize that one of the family's in the residential areas looks just like they're wife Muse. And that is when you realize that Leif was stripped from they're family. And thus leads to Leif working harder in finding out what exactly happened in that cave and when we do it's heartbreaking. Apparently Snake mouth cave was home to a civilization of roach scientists who were trying to recreate an equivalent to the eternal sapling by experimenting with cordyceps and bugs that the roaches lured to the cave with the promise of an artifact that would lead to the everlasting sapling. That is why there was a trap door as you open the door to the "treasure" of Snake mouth cave and further beyond that "treasure" was another door were bugs were inhumanely experimented on in some sick experiment as the roaches looked for purpose. (It's only super concerning that the majority of zombified bugs happen to be small ants, bees of the "smaller" variety, and green beetles of the "larger" variety. (Creepily enough they looked like Vi and Kabbu and I really hope that Leif's old teammates weren't some variety of those bugs cuz that would be super upsetting.) There, Leif learns that they were once dead, and that they're not even them, they were a sentient cordyceps that "failed" the roaches test and possessed a dead bug, Leif, who was most likely ambushed with his team and left behind by said team least they all lose their lives. Only for Leif to be subjected to experiments in order to become the next immortal, a purpose for the roaches to live for. And unluckily (luckily??) survived the experiments once a cordyceps housed itself within them in a symbiotic relationship. And with Kabbu and Vi's help, comes to accept that they have always been the same bug from the beginning till now and onwards. Now that they realize that even though they are part cordyceps part moth it doesn't mean they have really changed from the bug they use to be when it came to they're family. Which gave them the courage to meet the present version of their family and be accepted with open arms (it was touching and I cried).

But that's just it. Vi, Kabbu, and Leif; Team Snakemouth are the best team, because they had each other. And even though they each had their own personalities and their pasts that laid heavy within each of their minds. Team Snakemouth supported itself, and was open to itself (some a bit more than others). They keep their secrets within the team, they backed each other up, they tease each other, they beat anyone fight anyone that insults one of them (How dare you insult us! Insult one you insult all!). Because they aren't just one, they are a team, a family, friends. A success, is all their success. A failure, is all their failure. One's happiness, is all their happiness. And ones sadness, is all their sadness. And it was their team that saved Bugaria from the wasp King. And we loved them all.

#bug fables #kabbu bug fables #vi bug fables #leif bug fables #rant #just word vomit #but its passionate word vomit #i love them all #long post #long rant #rambling to be honest #but i don't care!#important #i cried for all of them #and a lot because they deserve the best #found family

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hobisbeech · 3 years

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Even the drug dealer likes you | K.T

Stoner!Reader and StonerBFF! Taehyung talk about readers dry spells.

Posted: 03/29/2021

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[y/n] laid on her bed, scrolling through the app as her hair tangled up on her pillow. She had been intrigued by this fan fiction story she had found on tumblr. Her favorite kpop idol was written in a best friend to lovers aspect. She cooed over the cover picture. Pining over the one person she knew would never even know she existed.

Letting out an exasperated whimper, [y/n] scrolled down slowly reading:

(Kpop idols name) had been watching you, dancing ridiculously in front of him. In his living room, on his big screen TV, was a live stream of (your fav artist name) performing all of their top hits. [y/n] glanced back making sure her best friend was enjoying his time just as much as she was. He stood up, taking a few steps to reach her. He slid his arms around her waist from behind, startling her with his actions. “Oh gosh! You scared me doofus!” [y/n] turned around quickly slapping him harshly on his arm. A small rumble of a laugh escaped his throat. He grabbed you again, now pushing you closer to his chest, his hands once again landing around your waist.

You scoffed at the action, how could she just fall for that trick, you thought to yourself. You rolled your eyes in annoyance as you turned to your side, hugging the small decorative pillow to your chest. Knowing very well why the writer wrote this cheesy scene. You screeched, your voice instantly reaching a new level of highness. You knew from a readers point of view, this was exactly what you wanted. The concept had you eating from the palm of their hands and you did not mind at all. At least, you never exactly admitted it. You were a sucker for love. You knew that no one or nothing was going to change that. You huffed, this time it’ll be different. This time I will be strong. You looked back at your screen and continued reading:

“What do you think you’re doing?” [y/n] with doe eyes looked up, nervous at what her best friend was thinking of doing. (Kpop idols name) looked at her, a small hint of embarrassment showing on his cheeks. He looked away, he cursed at himself internally. Get it together man, he thought to himself. He mustered the courage to look at her again, he placed his index finger under her chin and lifted her gaze to his.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you for a long time now. How crazy you make me. I go to sleep thinking about you. And I wake up to the thought of you.” He caressed your cheek, and with his arm around your waist he pulled you in closer to him.

He looked straight into your eyes, lustfully gazing into them, he whispered “Can I kiss you, jagi?”

You groaned loudly. This was just a very very cheesy story. You rolled your eyes dramatically, and laid on your back. “Ugh! Why do I always read these?!” You rubbed at your face, dropping your phone on your side. “They only make me feel even lonelier..” you exasperated, spacing out with just a blank stare up at the ceiling fan. You couldn’t believe that once again you were in this predicament. You laid there thinking about what had happened to you the weekend before. With a scowl on your face, you groaned again feeling hopeless about your non existent sex life. And the invincible blue balls that pulsed loudly in between your thighs.

—————-

The guy you had been talking to had invited you over to hang out one day. Knowing how your conversations with him had taken a turn to SEX-ville. You had made sure to prep the day before. Making sure whatever needed to be shaven and trimmed, was. You made sure you wore your best outfit, and also the easiest to take off. When you had arrived at his place, everything seemed as if it was going according to plan.

You both had rolled a blunt to have a smoke session together. And had a comedy movie playing in the background. You sat comfortably on his living room couch, lighting the blunt you had just finished rolling. Taking a few hits from it you passed it to him. The night had just settled in and the blunts were now nothing but small roaches that were put out on the ashtray that laid lazily on the over beaten coffee table.

The handsome guy had turned his gaze to you, lazily tracing small circles on your exposed knee. Your now low and bloodshot eyes, looked at him. With a small smile, he leaned closer. Leaving the smallest of space between you both. You could feel his breath settle and then fade from your lips. You knew you couldn’t deny him, so you made the first move. Closing the space between you both with a kiss. He snaked his hand behind your neck, keeping you steady. Not wanting to break the kiss, he began slowly caressing your body. Pinching your nipples through your blouse. He engulfed your small/medium/large breast in his large hand.

You whimpered in between kisses.

Leaning your head back, breaking the kiss, “That feels so good. It would feel better if I took my shirt off.” As you were reaching for the bottom hem of your blouse he stopped you. “I’m sorry, [y/n]. I know this got heated so fast but I can’t really do anything tonight. I have work in a few hours. I hope you understand.” This was the 3rd friggin’ time he had pulled that meaningless excuse on you, you internally scowled.

“Yeah yeah totally. I get it.” You sighed, with a small smile you adjusted your shirt and flattened it down to get rid of some of the wrinkles.

“Are you sure [y/n]? I hope I didn’t send any mix signals or anything?” He furrowed his eyebrows, feeling a bit of shame, his cheeks blooming with a soft pink for leaving you high and bothered. Mix signals?! You screamed internally.

You shrugged him off and smiled, “yeah definitely. We’re good. What time is it?” You asked, feeling your hands fiddle with the end of your blouse. “Oh uh,” he anxiously tapped at his phone screen. “It’s 9:30pm.”

“Oh okay cool, I’ll go ahead and skedaddle then,”

you nervously chuckled.

You both stood up quickly. He nervously laughed, and with a faint blush on his face, he handed you your purse and keys that you had aimlessly thrown on his couch when you had first arrived. “Thank you,” you said with a small bow. He smiled at you again now a little brighter.

“I’ll walk you out,” he informed you as he stepped in front of you. You followed him, with your head bowed and a blush that threatened to appear. He opened the door and moved to the side so you had room to exit. You looked back at him once again and he waved you goodbye. You walked away as quickly as possible, not hearing him call out to you that he had a great time. You unlocked your car and hopped in. Turning your engine on as quickly as possible, you burned off. Leaving behind black streaks from the burned rubber of your tires on the road.

Could this night get any worse? You thought to yourself.

____________

“[y/n-ahh]” your best friend loudly yelled from your living room. “What time was the plug gonna come and drop off ? I wanna smoke already,” he whined, leaning his head back on the couch. His long bangs falling awkwardly around his face.

You chuckled, and quickly checked your phone. You grabbed your closed packaged cigarillos from your top drawer in your bedroom and, scanned for the text message from your weed man telling you how far he was from your place.

Stepping into the living room, you dropped yourself beside him. With a smile you answered your handsome best friend, “He should be here in a few mins. He doesn’t live far, Taehyung.”

Your brown mullet haired friend huffed, dropping his hand on your thigh heavily. “Gosh, it sounds like he’s never gonna make it here,” you chuckled, placing your hand under his chin and scratching at his now 2 week old scruff.

You rolled your eyes, “dude we literally smoked this morning. How could you possibly be this needy now?”

Taehyung raised his head and gave you a knowing look, “you’re one to talk!” He spatted, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Taehyung had a long list of things that could possibly make him needy but this wasn’t one of them.

“Why can’t I just get laid? Why doesn’t anyone want my pussy?” He whined in his best impression of you. When he was done he gave you another knowing look. “Hey! That’s not fair!” You yelled back, “at least I don’t brag about how many cheeks I’ve clapped this week.”

You sulked this time, crossing your own arms in front of you. You didn’t turn to look at your best friend. If you had, you would’ve seen the mischievous smirk on his face. He loved it when you sulked. Just watching you pout and be upset about something was one of many things he liked about you.

In fact, he could practically see himself with you. But he couldn’t tell you that. Of course not. Who the fuck knows how you would react if he was to ever confess to you how much he liked you. Scratch that. How inlove he was with you, his best friend. Before, he could continue on this tangent he had unconsciously dug himself in, you abruptly moved. Standing up from the spot that was slowly molding into you.

You opened your door, seeing your weed man, Yoongi, awkwardly standing there waiting with expectant eyes. You smiled, “hey man! Thank you so much for this. Best friend over there is having a cow because I supposedly finished our weed this morning. When in fact he smoked the last of it with me.” You told your plug, grabbing the money you owed him from your pocket. You quickly glanced back, sticking your tongue out at Taehyung. Your black haired friend, chuckled looking behind you at Taehyung, whom he had met a handful of times. “No worries man, I tell jagi all the time, a friend with weed is a friend indeed. Enjoy man! This is some fire shit.” With a smirk on his face, he winks at you, “bye jagi, let me know how you like this. I’ll catch you later.” Before you could even muster a response he was already halfway down your hallway leaving you with only a silhouette to make out.

You slowly closed your front door, absentmindedly locking it. “Did my plug just flirt with me?” You questionably looked at Taehyung. Taehyung was still in shock that even your weed man was throwing moves at you. He shook the thoughts away.

“wow ! [y/n] he probably likes you. He even told you to let him know if you liked his weed,” Taehyung, quickly smiled and as quick as his smile came it left his bronzed face. He snatched the medium sandwich bag from your hand, “thank you oh so much my dear [y/n]”

“Oh hush up and just roll us a blunt. I’ve had it rough these past couple of days.” You inform him, shrugging off any hint of annoyance your best friend was giving off. Taehyung made himself comfortable on the couch again, reaching for your new blue grinder you had recently purchased. He didn’t say anything else to you, letting the comfortable silence swallow you both.

Taehyung had managed to roll 4 blunts and still left weed for you guys to smoke at a later time. You had started playing some soft (genre) music you and Taehyung could enjoy. You relaxed into the couch and sparked up the first blunt. You inhaled and exhaled a couple of times and passed it to him.

“Tae why is it that I can’t get laid?” You randomly asked your best friend, laying your head back. “I mean let me elaborate. Why is it that I can’t just have a good fuck? It feels like I have to go through an obstacle course just to get a guy to notice me.” You ranted to your best friend, grabbing the blunt between your index finger.

“I think the guys get too intimidated with how easy going you are. And feel like they’re not good enough for you.” Taehyung responds, twisting his body to face you as he exhaled the rest of the smoke he had in his mouth.

You turned your face to him, “what do you mean? Isn’t that a good thing ? That I can just go with the flow,” you added, dropping your gaze and taking a hit from the blunt he had passed to you. Taehyung smirked, he scooted closer to you placing his hand as gently as possible on your cheek. “My dear jagi, you are the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. You tolerate me, you don’t really complain when I rant to you, you listen to me when I rant about the girls I’ve talked to, and even scratch my hair whenever I ask. Like come on best friend ! You are the whole package. You even cook food for us, for when the munchies hit.” He explained, listing the reasons one by one of why you were the best person you could possibly be.

Feeling the high rush to your head, you chuckled lightly, as you took a couple more hits from the blunt and passed it to your brown mullet haired friend. “Taehyung-ie can I ask you something?” You quirked up, leaning closer to him, your shoulders resting on one another. He nodded, exhaling the smoke he had just inhaled. “If you didn’t know me personally, would you smash me?” You asked, looking down quickly, not wanting Taehyung to see how red you were getting.

He coughed, and coughed some more. It had taken him about a minute or two and some water for him to stabilize himself from all the coughing. You looked at him again, “I shouldn’t have asked that. You practically almost died on me,” you dropped your gaze, you hadn’t meant to make your best friend uncomfortable. You just thought since both minds were foggy now he would just see it as a funny question. He probably didn’t even see me like that, you thought to yourself.

“Wait wait wait..” Taehyung spoke, he scooted closer to you. Intertwining both your hands with his, he laid them in his lap. The small smoken nub of a blunt long forgotten on the ashtray placed on the coffee table. Looking straight into your bloodshot eyes, he smiled. “Babygirl, I love you. And if you ever gave me the chance I would in a heartbeat jump your bones.” He kept his eyes locked on you, “and I mean it,” his voice had dropped an octave. Sounding a bit more deep and lustful.

You only heard that voice when both of you would fall asleep together and he would try to wake you up in the morning to ask you where you had your tea bags. Most of the time he was just a big fluff ball that loved flirting with you. Your thumb absentmindedly rubbed at the back of his hand.

“Would you ever let me?” He softly asked you, the words coming out as a slight whisper. He looked down at your entwined hands and smiled.

You observed him, did your best friend like you like that? How long has he had these thoughts? Did you like him like that? Or was it just the fact that you hadn’t had any luck in the guy department and Taehyung was offering? You shook the thoughts away. “Would I let you?” You hesitantly repeated his question, he nodded giving you one of his knowing smiles.

“Yeah, I would.”

Taehyung’s eyes bulged out, he didn’t believe you.

“No cap?”

You chuckled, shaking your head slightly “yessir.”

Instantly Taehyung jumped on you pushing you back, to lay on the couch. He was now on top of you. His thighs straddling your lap. He chuckled, wrapping his arms under your shoulders, he placed his head on the crook of your neck and you lovingly wrapped your arms over his broad shoulders. He snuggled into you, “jagi I’m sorry that that guy gave you blue balls. I can help you if you need some release.” He suggested not daring to look up at you.

You stiffened, wow Tae was just coming out with so many surprises. How on earth could he help you? you didn’t necessarily want an answer to that question. “Um uh- Tae wouldn’t that ruin our friendship or something? I don’t want you to look at me any different.” You hid your gaze behind his hair, your hand had sneaked into his locks and just scratched away at your worries. Taehyung propped himself up, caging your head between his forearms. “Jagi I will never look at you differently. You are my best friend for crying out loud. You’ve seen me naked, and I’ve seen you naked,” he wiggled his eyebrows at you, giving you his crackhead signature smirk.

“Taehyung! Stop!”

You playfully yelled at him, smacking his arm.

“Anyways, before I was rudely interrupted,” he nipped at your neck.

“I was saying,” he bit lower under your ear.

He lowered his voice to a lustrous whisper, with a deep tone he spoke, “I’ve always daydreamed what it would be like to finally have you under me.” He exhaled a deep breath fanning over your exposed neck.

“I always wondered what it would be like to have you quiver under me, to have you beg me for more,” once again his voice timbered out his mouth, violating your ears. Intruding your every thought, you were getting turned on.

“Tae,” you whimpered looking up at him.

His eyes were glossy from the smoke, but they also showed love.

Love for you is all he had, a ginormous amount of nothing but love. “Do you want me to stop?” He asked you, searching your eyes for any discomfort. You shake your head no. “I love you Taehyung, and I would love you even more if you showed me what else that mouth of yours can do.” Your devilish voice had made an appearance, wiggling your eyebrows at him, you smirked.

“Oh?” Taehyung laughed, dropping his head on the crook of your neck again.

“Oh yeah? You wanna see how my tongue would feel on your precious cunt?”

His tongue had trailed a soft wet line from the crook of your neck all the way up to your earlobe. He had sucked on the skin taking it in between his teeth.

Your body shivered, revealing small goosebumps. “Yes I wanna know how you would touch me. I want you to tell me Tae.” You whimpered, rubbing your thighs together. His voice alone was turning you the fuck on. Taehyung couldn’t believe it. Maybe it was because he was stoned like no other and he tended to drift off in day dream land from time to time.

He sat up on his bent knees. He slowly took his t-shirt off letting it fall beside him. He reached down for yours, “may I?” He asked you. You nodded smiling up at him as he reached to take your shirt off. Letting it drop beside you.

He whistled,

“wow, ladies and gentlemen jagi did not have a bra under that shirt,”

he reached for your breasts kneading at them both softly.

“I remember the times you would walk around in just a t-shirt and panties,”

He let out a deep full husk groan.

“It was the most magnificent sight, I ever had the pleasure to lay my eyes on.” With his thumb he rubbed at your nipple until it perked up on its own. You whined, the feeling that was exuding from his touch was enticing.

His voice and his words were enchanting you. The way Taehyung's voice would bounce around between the walls in your living room. Was impeccable. You had no idea how much power his tone held. It made your insides tremble. All you wanted now was for Tae’s tongue to finally make contact with your cunt.

“Taeee, please!” you whimpered, your body squirming underneath him. It was instant, like a switch had turned on within him. He pinned you down, holding your arms beside your head. He had his knee pushing up your core. Your legs instantly spread open for him.

“Tsk tsk tsk, who’s the needy one now?” He lowered his voice and whispered into your ear. “I can already tell you are wet just by the sound of my voice,” his deep voice bluntly stated.

You couldn’t help but move, you wanted nothing but friction. Something to just release you if only for a moment. His thigh stayed still between you. You could feel your vagina folds rub against the fabric of your underwear. Wetter and wetter it got.

“Is my jagi trying to rub herself against my thigh?”

He asked, tilting his head sideways with a small flirty grin on his face.

[y/n] exasperated, you couldn’t believe that this moment was actually happening. Your body was burning for Taehyung’s touch. You wanted him to just touch you. Caress your skin. Feel the amble of your breasts. Run his fingernails down your chest. You wanted his long fingers trail down and douse in your essence. You wanted him to fill you up with his digits. Make you unravel with just his precious fingers. You stared into his eyes, they were now a dark glossy brown. His pupils had been dilated due to the amount of marijuana he had smoked. He was intoxicating. You could feel this heat type of energy radiating off of him. Every time his hand would touch you, it burned. Your body was exuding heat, your thoughts twirled in your mind. His essence had completely taken over you. You had submitted to your best friend, you were ready for him.

“Taehyung please fuck me. I need to feel you inside me.” You whined through gritted teeth. You couldn’t take it anymore and absentmindedly grinded against his thigh. Feeling the pressure from his knee on your clothed core, it felt great. But it wasn’t enough, you needed to come undone connected.

Taehyung looked down at his knee, the sight his eyes had set on, was mouth watering. Seeing you, a whining mess grinding on his knee, was the last straw for him. He grabbed your thigh, stopping you. He grabbed your sweats and underwear roughly pulled them down. You moved your hips upwards and let him finish undressing you. He continued by unriddening himself of his pants, pushing his boxers down with them.

He pumped himself a couple of times using his own pre cum as lubricant. Just watching you, fully exposed in front of him made him crazy. He aligned himself in front of your entrance. Picking up one of your thighs for more leverage. He looked down at you, his gaze softer now. His eyebrows furrowed, he whispered, “you can tell me to get off at any time and we’ll stop.” He searched your eyes for a minute for any discomfort you might’ve been experiencing.

You smiled, raising your hand to softly caress his cheek. “I couldn’t have asked for anyone else to take care of me. I love you so much, but Taehyung baby I’m gonna need you to fuck me into this couch.” You stated brusquely, grabbing on to his waist and pulled him into you.

You moaned loudly looking into Taehyung’s eyes as his face contorted, dropping to his forearms around your head. Your legs had wrapped nicely around his waist holding him still in this position.

“Ohhh fuck jagi you’re even wetter than I thought. A-are you okay for me to move?” He asked, staring back at you.

You smirked, wrapping your arms around him, “go to town baby.”

____________

A couple orgasms later, you were both nakedly sprawled out on the couch. Out of breath and slightly sweaty. You both looked at each other lovingly. His dorky boxy smile on full display. Not wanting to move he scooted his hand closer to yours. Sending you a knowing look to take his hand in yours. You returned his smile, a blush sneaking to your cheeks.

So many thoughts had run through your mind. This handsome man that you had met so long ago. Who you became close to overtime. Was gazing at you stupidly in love. You probably didn’t know what was going to happen next.

But one thing for sure,

Taehyung might be your quirky best friend, that needs your full attention at all times.

At the end he was the one that had your legs trembling, and screaming his name. You were the lucky one in this happy ending.

#hobisbeech #bts v #bts taehyung #taehyung x you #bts fic #best friend taehyung #stoner!taehyung #stoner!reader #hi im selena and im pretty toasty right now #if you see this tag please enjoy your stay :)#hobisbeech masterlist #bts au fanfic #bts au fic

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softyhyunjin · 4 years

Text

ldr ⊵ bang chan

Description: Distance definitely makes the heart grow fonder.

இ genre: friends to lovers, ldr, college au, angst?, def fluff

இ pairing: chan x reader

இ word count: 12.5k

warnings?: there’s alc, and a pretty mf hot chan

a/n: @changbeanie it’s been a while ´･ᴗ･` wow, just wow

↫ i ↬

“Chan, I need to spill the tea!”

He came to a halt, setting aside his unopened One Piece mystery figures. When he looked into the camera lens, his brows knit together in a little frown.

“No Y/N, you can’t spill the tea! The tea is hot, and if you spill it, you are gonna get burned,” Chan playfully scolded you and laughed shortly after.

“I’m serious Chan,” you whined, covering your face to hide your warm cheeks. Chan laughed even more. You didn’t know whether he was laughing at you or his joke. Maybe it was both.

He calmed down and leaned back into his gaming chair. Sighing in content, he looked at you from his monitor, smiling softly. “Go ahead, tell me,” Chan said.

“Can I really?” You removed your hands from your face and rolled your eyes.

“Yes, now go!” He chuckled.

“I caught Changbin on a date with someone!”

Chan faked a gasp, “Ahhh, no way.”

“Oh, so you knew?”

“Yes, but I’d like you to finish spilling the tea.”

“That’s all I wanted to spill,” you scoffed. Of course, Chan would know about Changbin’s love life, he was close to all his friends after all. Now, your reasoning for calling him went down the drain. Useless.

Chan shrugged, “He already told me his plan to confess to his crush a while back, so I’m not surprised. Ruby, I think that’s her name? Yeah.”

“Okay, goodnight then. I’ll call you later this week if I can,” you sighed in defeat, swiping your mouse pad to hang up.

“Wait, wait, wait. Y/N, you didn’t even let me finish opening the package you sent me. Don’t you want to see who I got?” His eyes lit up at his unopened One Piece figures.

“Not really, it cost me a fortune to ship it out to you,” you spun around in your chair, faking disinterest to the birthday boy, but in reality, you wanted to stretch the call as long as you could. You really missed him.

Chan had been studying abroad in Berlin for two months. You remember him speaking to you about it and listing his options in order: Berlin, Dublin, and Paris. When you asked why he placed Berlin as his first choice, he said its nightlife attracted him the most, which isn’t surprising, considering the night owl he is. And bonus, it was cheaper than his other options.

“Should I call Woojin to watch me unbox instead, then?” He cocked his brow.

“Do you really want him to watch you unbox it?” You pouted.

“Noo, I want you to watch me. But… I guess you don’t wanna,” Bang Chan shrugged.

“Ugh, you already know I do.”

“Then why didn’t you say so in the first place?” He teased further, enjoying his ability to easily earn a reaction from you.

“Are you coming back to Sydney for Thanksgiving?” You responded with a question.

“No, it would be pointless because I have to immediately fly back to Berlin for finals. Maybe I should stay here until the 22nd of December. Besides, I’m gonna miss it here. Oh-“ He excitedly tore off the wrap of his gift, “Tony Tony Chopper. I had a feeling I would get him,” he laughed.

“Oh,” you said in a small voice but quickly hid your disappointment and smiled. “I was hoping you’d get him.”

Inside, you were pretty bummed out. Not seeing Chan for over a month was torture. Whatever you wanted to try would have to wait until he got back: the new restaurant by the mall, going on a fishing trip, and using the remaining benefits of your favorite amusement park’s season pass. Most importantly, you chose to wait for him to come home so that the two of you could binge-watch the latest season of Stranger Things.

Chan had already caught the disappointment in your voice and put down the Tony Tony Chopper figure. Propping his elbow onto the desk, he used his palm to cup his chin, leaning into the monitor. Although he was ten thousand miles away, the gesture made him feel closer to you and Sydney. “You know that’s not what I meant. I miss home, my mum’s cooking, hanging with the guys, and cuddling with Berry. I get homesick at times, but I love it here.”

“I know, I’m just bored without you. I want to go bar hopping in Sydney again,” you groaned, feeling bad for making Chan explain himself when he didn’t even need to.

“Tch, you just want to see the guys drunk call their girlfriends again.”

“Not even! I only want to see Hyunjin drunk call his girlfriend, it’s so cute when he whines to her about wanting to be the little spoon. He gets so embarrassed whenever Jisung and I show him the recordings,” you cackled like a witch.

Chan shook his head in disapproval, chuckling at your words, “Y/N, You’re so evil. Just wait until you’re the one to drunk call somebody.”

“Who knows? Maybe I’ll have somebody by the time you come back,” you shrugged.

“Oooh, well, do you?”

“We’ll just have to wait until the next time we go bar hopping.”

“Then, you’re gonna have to wait for another two months,” he sang through the screen, his hand reaching for the mouse to select a song on one of his Spotify playlists.

SLANDER & Said the Sky - Potions (ft. JT Roach)

“It’s going to be a long wait,” you sighed, drumming your fingers against your desk.

“Every time you said a word, I was starin' at your lips. I don't think I've ever been so close to a love like this,” he sang along before taking a pause to say, “I’ll be home before you know it.”

Shooting him with a finger gun, you suggested, “Ahah! Are drinks gonna be on you?”

“Shouldn’t you be buying? I’m the one coming home.”

You scowled. “Ask the boys because you miss them.”

“Don’t worry, I miss you too,” Chan easily confessed, bobbing his head to the drop of the bass.

↫ ii ↬

“Gobble gobble gobble!”

“Shut up, we don’t even have a turkey,” Minho said, slapping Jisung’s ass when he took up the entire couch.

Jisung scooted enough for Minho to sit and used his lap as a pillow, “Hey, I told everyone to pitch in for our lovely Friendsgiving, but nooo! So, it ain’t my problem.”

“We pitched in for beef, that’s even better,” Hyunjin said, jumping back when the meat hit the electric grill, abruptly sizzling and splattering oil onto his hand.

“Gimme that, you’re going to end up burning the meat and your hand,” Jeongin took the metal tongs from Hyunjin, increasing the temperature of the grill and adding more slices of brisket.

“Haha, who are you trying to impress? Y/N?” Woojin joked.

Seungmin killed Woojin’s joke in an instant, “No, he’s trying to practice for his crush. They went out the other day and she cooked for him the whole time.”

Changbin stole the first slice of meat from the serving tray, saying with a mouthful, “Big fat rip, dude.”

“Hello?” Felix said after picking up an incoming call from his phone. He rolled his eyes at the person speaking on the other line, “Liv, I told you to always have your wallet on you. No, I am not going to drive over to drop it off. Just stop by the house on your way to the movies.”

“Your sister left her wallet at home again?” Jisung asked.

Felix shrugged, “Yeah, she always does that. I’m not gonna drop it off to her this time. Whatever, she said she’ll be here in ten.”

You wedged yourself between Felix and Seungmin on the couch, making yourself comfortable while Felix challenged Minho on Super Smash Bros. Jisung had just finished setting up his Nintendo Switch on Felix’s TV and tossed both controllers to the first round competitors. Felix selected Dark Pit whereas Minho did the random selection and got Ness.

“Nooooo! FUCK.” Felix screeched after Minho sent his character flying off the platform. You covered your ears but laughed at Felix’s loss.

Minho smirked, nodding to his opponent, wiggling his eyebrows. “Do you want to change your fighter?”

Rolling his tongue in his mouth, Felix shook his head, “No, rematch.”

The doorbell rang. Without a glance, too absorbed into his rematch with Minho, Felix asked you to open the front gate for Olivia. You left the couch and went outside to open it for her. When you opened the wooden gate, you found Bang Chan waiting outside instead of Felix’s sister. Your mouth went agape.

“You’re back...” You said, stepping aside to let him in.

Shock was still written across your face. He gently patted his carry on before leaning in to take a look at your face. Jokingly, he said, “I take it that you’re not thrilled to see me, should I leave then?”

Seeing him in person made your heart swell. You suddenly remembered how much you missed him. Overwhelmed by his presence, your eyes began to pool with tears and just could not stop. Without blinking, a big, fat tear escaped. Wiping the stray tear with the sleeve of your hoodie, you wanted to stop crying but wound up sniffling.

Chan reached for your other arm, gently drawing small circles with his thumb. He couldn’t help but laugh as he attempted to soothe you. “Hey, hey, why are you crying?” He cooed, throwing another joke, “Maybe I should just leave…”

“No, don't.”

Although tears kept on falling, you laughed back and patted your cheeks dry with your sleeve. Chan let go of the carry-on, spreading his arms wide for only one reason. You accepted his invitation, leaning forward to wrap your arms around his torso. “Don’t worry, I missed you too. But I didn’t expect you to cry so much,” he teased.

The vibration his laughter gave off, made your insides feel warm and fuzzy. Chan smelled like fresh laundry mixed with the familiar cologne he only wore for special occasions. He rocked you side to side, and you could feel the smile spread across his face from his chuckling. You wanted to hug him even longer but a notification went off, causing both of you to pull away from each other.

It was coming from the Apple Watch gifted to him from everyone for his 21st birthday. Chan checked the notification, disregarding it when it began to spam. “Let’s go inside,” he said, patting your shoulders to make you head in first.

“Finally! What took you so long?” Felix jumped from the couch to give Chan a hug.

Chan gave a nonchalant shrug, “My mum wouldn’t stop talking. If it weren’t for Hannah and Olivia needing a ride to the mall, I would’ve gotten here much later.”

“Christopher Bang, I have been waiting for you,” Jisung swooped in, giving Chan a bear hug. Then, weakly whispered into his dear friend’s ear, “If it was any longer, I would’ve died from starvation.”

You frowned all of a sudden. “Wait, all of you guys knew he was coming back for Thanksgiving?”

“Surprise!” Felix awkwardly laughed because he knew you were going to strangle him later.

“Yeah? Why wouldn’t he come back? It’s Thanksgiving,” Hyunjin walked out of the kitchen with the rest of the guys to hug Chan.

“You said you weren’t though,” you said, narrowing your eyes at Chan. He removed the black cap from his head, sheepishly running a hand through his... dark brown hair? There was no longer a strand of dirty blonde. “Oh my god, and you dyed your hair back to your natural hair color,” you gasped.

“Boy, I am starving,” he whistled, purposely ignoring your stare.

Jisung wrapped his arms around yours and Chan’s shoulders, inhaling the aroma of Seungmin’s freshly baked pies coming from the oven. “I’m so fucking stoked to eat. Let’s eat.”

↫ iii ↬ bh.pt.i ↫

Famous Dex - Japan

“Baby girl, what you doing, where your mans? I just popped a xan, fifty thousand in Japan.”

Chan sang Japan by Famous Dex, pointing to Felix once they both made eye contact. Felix quickly caught on, finishing the chorus with a strong dab, “I ain't doin' no playin', these red bottoms, not no Vans. And she tellin' all her friends, I might put 'em on the Gram, aye!”

“I don’t know you two anymore,” you cringed at the pair. Once the song was over, they started singing to Lil Uzi Vert’s ‘XO TOUR Llif3.’

“Should've saw the way she looked me in my eyes. She said baby I am not afraid to, die. Push me to the edge, all my friends are dead, push me to the edge, all my friends are dead,” they both sang, clasping each other’s hands and bobbing their heads.

“Ah shit, the Uber driver is gonna be outside in two minutes,” Felix cursed and ran upstairs to his room to grab his bomber.

“Hurry, or else we’re going to leave you!” Chan shouted towards the stairs, then, lowering his voice to tell you, “Let’s leave him.”

You rolled your eyes, and he cracked a smile.

After Thanksgiving, Chan had two and a half days left before heading back to Berlin. You wanted to spend as much time as you can with him. Not only you, but everyone else wanted to. And the perfect way to do it:

Bar hopping. (bh)

Jisung brought up the idea because he wanted to buy his friend a drink. It was a treat for Chan since he’s been away for nearly three months. But also, Jisung was anticipating to record any of Hyunjin’s embarrassing moments. For him, it was killing two birds with one stone.

“Thank you, sir, have a good one,” Chan said to the Uber driver, waving goodbye as he was the last to exit the backseat of the car.

Felix scanned the area, squinting whenever he saw anyone coming out of a shop. “Uh, we just arrived. Where are you- Oh! I see Woojin waiting in the front,” he hung up.

“I’m so hungry.” Your stomach grumbled.

“Yoooooo! Broski, over here,” Felix waved both hands in the air. The three of you approached Woojin, giving him a hug before entering the bar.

Everyone was already seated inside munching on some salted peanuts. Changbin tossed a peanut into the air, and Jisung caught it in his mouth, extending his arms in the air to gloat his victory. “Now buy me a drink,” he demanded.

“Fine,” Changbin scoffed but agreed.

Once the three of you settled down in the large booth, Woojin ordered a beer and a shot of tequila for each person. You were excited to drink but hated tequila. It was the first alcohol to ever give you a massive hangover. The taste was disgusting and a measly whiff could still trigger your gag reflexes.

“Alright, whoever finishes last needs to take another shot of tequila,” Felix snickered.

“Ugh, no,” Hyunjin groaned.

Chan leaned in to whisper into your ear, “Will you be able to handle it?”

You bumped your left shoulder against his right, “Of course, who do you think I am?”

Changbin knocked on the table, grabbing everyone’s attention. “3! 2! 1! Go!”

You chugged the beer while keeping your eyes open for the rest of the guys. Most of them started off with their shot of tequila to get it over with while you, Jisung, and Jeongin started off with beer. By the time you were halfway done with your beer, the tequila starters were beginning to touch their beers. Some were still making faces from sucking the complementary lime wedges that came with the tequila.

Finishing the last of your beer, Jisung slapped the table with his shot glass. Still sucking his like wedge, he pointed at you to hurry so you can come in second place. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, grabbing the lime wedge in one hand and the tequila shot in the other, downing it in one go. “That’s so fucking nasty,” you whined and chewed into the lime wedge.

“Done,” Changbin said, sliding his empty drinks into the center of the table.

Next, Chan burped out loud, saying, “I’m done. Excuse me.”

When everyone finished, the order came out to be: Jisung, Y/N, Changbin, Chan, Woojin, Minho, Felix, Seungmin, Jeongin, Hyunjin.

“FUck, this shit. I hate bar hop… ping,” Hyunjin complained, burping in defeat.

“Bottoms up, loser,” Jisung laughed.

“Drink! Drink! Drink!” Everyone chanted, cheering when Hyunjin finished the last of the devil’s juice. Already, his face was getting red as he lazily brushed his messy bangs away from his eyes.

Even though Jeongin was second to the last place, he was eager to move on to the next round. Rubbing his hands in excitement, he asked, “So what’s next?”

↫ iii ↬ barhopping pt.ii ↫

“We are just going to take it chill this round,” Seungmin cutely laughed.

The lightweight slurred, jabbing his index finger onto Seungmin’s chest, “No, you wanted to take it chill this round.”

“He’s trying to save you,” you slapped Hyunjin’s back, “But I don’t mind taking it chill this round.”

Already tipsy and spouting out nonsense like always, Jisung called you out, “Y/N, what’s with the getup today?”

He really emphasized the makeup and your fitted black off-shoulder top with dramatic John Cena hand movements. You grew embarrassed by the sudden attention. Now, everyone’s eyes were on you, especially Bang Chan’s. Your cheeks grew warm as you blushed, but that honestly did not matter because the lighting of the second bar was dark enough to hide them.

“Jisung, they’re just falsies,” you rolled your eyes.

Hyunjin cocked an eyebrow into your direction, “My girlfriend likes to wear them when she’s going out. Are you going out with anybody?” He put his head down and burped. “Keeping seCrets huh? uGH, I miss my girlfriend.”

“Nooo, definitely not…” You sighed, “I just felt like doing something different today.”

“Is it because Chan is back?” Seungmin felt like he cracked the Da Vinci Code. Ridiculous.

“You’re ridiculous, Kim Seungmin.”

Felix intervened, lazily karate-chopping his arm into the table. Thanks to him, he saved you from making a fool of yourself. “What about me? Didn’t you know anything different about me today?” He slurred.

“You’re drunk,” Seungmin pointed out the obvious.

“No, not yet. I got a new bomber, duh. Go ahead, touch it,” Felix suggested. He grabbed Seungmin’s hand, hovering it over his jacket. Then, Felix made him caress the smooth material.

Both you and Chan burst out laughing. Then, you both turned to look at each other. When your laughter died down, you glanced at his plump lips and looked away with a sigh on yours.

Why did you go out of your own way to put on makeup and wear your silver drop earrings? The top was a gift from one of your girlfriends. It’s been sitting in your closet for ages, but still, it was something different.

The guys began to plan for the winter break agenda and Chan joined in on the conversation. He remembered the video call between you and him. It was around the time of his birthday when he unboxed the mystery One Piece figures you sent to him... Did you ever find somebody?

For a moment, there was this unsettling feeling growing inside of his chest. Yeah, why did she look differently today, is what he thought. You were never ‘ugly’ in his opinion, you were just Y/N. Whatever you choose to do shouldn't matter, so Chan did what anyone would do: He brushed it off.

Chan glanced over, feeling a little taken aback when you laughed at something Minho said about Hyunjin. Whenever he was surprised, his eyebrows did this thing where they would cutely knot upwards and his eyes would light up. But this time, it was different. Yes, he was surprised but the expression on his face grew soft immediately after you made eye contact with him.

You raised the glass of your favorite cocktail to your lips, nodding in excitement when Jisung ‘secretly’ whipped out his phone and began recording Hyunjin. Then, you broke into a playful grin while biting into the black stirring straw before sipping your drink. Yeah, he thought you were really attractive right now.

For some reason, Bang Chan felt like his body was engulfed by flames.

You raised a brow, offering him to try your drink with a smile. Chan blinked back, totally aware he was staring at you. Luckily, you weren’t and thought he was curious about your drink.

Turning down your offer, he decided to lay off on the drinking for the rest of this round. It was the alcohol causing him to feel this way, or that’s what he thought.

If not, this was going to be a big problem.

↫ iii ↬ barhopping pt.iii ↫

“Last but not least, we are going to get hammered with soju and meat,” Jisung cupped Changbin’s cheeks, then, patting them like how Asian grandmothers would select the perfect watermelons.

Before Changbin could place him into a chokehold, Jisung clumsily ran into the restaurant to request for seats. He almost ran into one of the patio heaters in the process. “Come back, you fucking squirrel!” Changbin waved his fist in the air like an old man.

He adopts a sailors’ mouth when he drinks lol.

Hyunjin had an arm draped over Woojin’s shoulders. He’s already sobered up by now. “Let’s make sure he gets hammered tonight,” he said, then, pointed a finger at you, “And Y/N.”

“I say we should go for it,” Woojin supported his friend.

Your eyes widened. “What did I do?”

“He’s still salty you sent recordings to his girlfriend,” Jeongin teased Hyunjin, his eyes effortlessly creasing into the cutest eye smile. He reminded you of a baby fox.

“I didn’t, it was Jisung. Recordings were sent from his phone,” You shrugged and stuck your tongue out when Hyunjin mimicked you.

Jisung peeked at everyone from the restaurant door and caught Seungmin’s attention first, signaling him to bring everyone inside. Seungmin said, “Let’s go, seats are ready.”

“I already picked out the meats. Now, the hardest part is choosing the soju flavor,” Jisung looked at the drinks menu with heart eyes.

Changbin took the menu from Jisung’s hands, cockily skimming through it. “Leave it to me, I know what we should stay away from.”

When the waiter came by, Changbin ended up ordering two large yogurts, two fruit-flavored, and two original soju. Seven drinks. Everyone looked at him with their jaws dropped. “You’re actually insane,” Felix said even though he was at a loss of words.

“The frat boy mentality has sprung onto him. It’s too late, we can’t save him,” Chan cried, covering his warm face, dramatically tugging it downwards with both hands.

You sighed and lay your head onto Chan’s shoulder. You were still buzzed, but it was going to be a long night. Earlier, he put his jean jacket over your shoulders when some guy walked by and gave you a whistle. You were very uncomfortable from receiving the unwanted attention coming from a sleazebag and hid behind Chan’s broad frame.

You were getting tired but still wanted to have fun. Chan’s shoulder was a muscular pillow. Your eyes glanced at the sleeve of his black T-shirt. Then, your eyes trailed down to his arm veins, his hand, and the ring on his pinky finger. It was your gift to him for his birthday this year. There was this strong urge to place your hand on top of his and flip it over so that the palm of his hand would be open for you to entwine your fingers in.

Fuck, why is he so hot?

You didn’t actually do it though, you could not bring yourself to. When you tilted your head upwards, Chan was laughing at Woojin’s disaster story about his most recent blind date. He must’ve felt your gaze on him so he stopped paying attention to the story. Chan laid his eyes on you while you blinked back in surprise with a tinge of pink on your cheeks. His eyes held your gaze momentarily before trailing down to your lips, and so did you.

You were both waiting for something to happen. The tension-

“Drinks and meat are here,” Minho excitedly cleared the table for the waiter.

Both you and Chan looked away from each other at the same time. You instantly removed your head from his shoulder, and he cleared his throat. You were both left feeling embarrassed, however, Chan also felt nervous. You, on the other hand, felt a heavyweight on top of your chest.

For this last round of bar hopping, you both avoided any sort of eye contact or slight skinship with one another. It was too risky, making a nervous wreck out of both you and Chan.

“Let’s play Truth or Drink mixed with Never Have I Ever,” Changbin said, pouring a drink into everybody’s shot glass, filling it to the brim.

Minho scoffed but enjoyed the idea, “You’re just asking for everyone to drink.”

“That’s the point.”

“Never have I ever almost joined a cult back in high school,” Jisung tsked over to his friend, snickering when Hyunjin and Jeongin downed the shot in one go.

Hyunjin went next and glared at Jisung, “Never have I ever lived in Malaysia during my childhood.”

Jisung narrowed his eyes at Hyunjin, chewing on a piece of meat after drinking his shot. “Playing like that, I see.”

“Well, you started it.”

“No, you.”

“You.”

Chan interrupted their bickering, and said, “Moving on, never have I ever… Cheated on an exam.” Everyone groaned, drinking except for him, Seungmin, and Hyunjin. Then, it was your turn.

“Er… Never have I ever blacked out from drinking,” you peeked around, raising your glass to everyone. Changbin, Woojin, Chan, Jisung, Hyunjin, and Felix all clinked their glasses together.

“Alcoholics,” Minho shook his head, eyeing each person with false disappointment written on his face.

“Shut the fuck up, you have no right. You’re the goddamn instigator,” Jisung kicked Minho’s foot under the table.

“Stop playing footsies with me.”

“Oh, I can stop whenever I want to.”

“Can I go now?” Seungmin stuck a piece of rib finger into Jisung’s mouth. Everyone gave him the go, so he suggested, “Let’s do Truth or Drink this round, and the question applies to everyone. If you were a serial killer in a movie, who would you kill first? On the count of three, point your finger to the person. 3! 2! 1!”

“Wow.” And it wasn’t hard to guess who it was.

The rest of the night went by like that, playing more rounds of Never Have I Ever and Truth or Drink. More than half of the group was drunk and Hyunjin had his head down. He already knocked out and was drooling. You were drunk too but waited for Felix to take his turn.

Propping your chin in the palm of your right hand, you felt your eyelids become heavier the longer Felix took to ask his question. Finally, he asked everyone, “What are you the most grateful for?”

“I’m the most grateful for my cats,” Minho brought up his fingers and began to list each cat, “Soonie, Doongie, and Dori. Sometimes, I get hissed at but I still love them all.”

It was Chan’s turn. “Mmm,” he thought, “I’d say, my parents, because if they never gifted me with music, I wouldn’t be CB97 right now.”

“And there wouldn’t be SPEARmint and your one and only,” Jisung sluggishly pointed to himself, groaning, “J.One.”

“It’s SPEARB,” Changbin whined, hugging Jisung.

Chan was beginning to sober up and sipped on his half-full glass of water. Getting sentimental and smiling over to his rap unit members, his ears perked up when it was your turn. You had your head and arms sprawled across the table, earning a laugh from Minho when you palmed your forehead with a disgruntled look on your face. Your head hurt, but you continued, “I am grateful for a lot of things. My dog, meeting my ultimate bias, and having you guys in my life.”

“That’s so generic, be more specific,” Minho teased.

“Lix, I’m grateful for Felix. If my dad never met his dad in their twenties, I would’ve never grown up with Lix. My dad wouldn’t have almost accidentally run over him that one time when he was running away from Rachel.”

“Huh, I remembered that day. Rachel got so mad at me for reading her diary. I mean, she did leave it on the couch,” Felix reminisced, chuckling at the memory from long ago.

Seungmin raised an eyebrow, a little confused with what you shared. “Shouldn’t you be grateful for your dad meeting Felix’s dad? And not Felix?”

“Sure, but it’s Felix I am most grateful for. Because without him, I would’ve never met everyone else… and Chan,” you patted Felix’s bomber with your eyes closed and expected him to feel touched by your words.

“Why say it like that? What differentiates Chan from everyone else?” Jeongin asked with a small pout on his lips. Chan wanted to know as well. He didn’t know why you paused a little before saying his name. Was he special to you in any way?

Yeah. What differentiates Chan from everyone else?

“Stop asking me, and let’s move on to Felix. It hurts to think,” you complained.

↫ iv ↬

“Oi bro, today was fun. But I’m fucking wasted,” Felix burped. He leaned his head against the door frame while intensely staring at the door handle. Concentration was key, literally. Felix needed to press the correct keys or else you, him, and Chan would be sleeping in the front yard tonight. Nobody was home.

“You good there, buddy?” Chan asked with a concerned tone.

Felix entered the correct code and the numbers on the keypad lit up blue, making him internally jumping with happiness. “Ohh hell yeah. Uh-”

Then, he pushed through the door, startling Chan as he ran through the living room and into the kitchen to hurl into the nearest trash can. Chan quickly went after Felix while still carrying you on his back. “Bro,” he cringed at the loose chunks in the trash can and rubbed Felix’s back, “Keep throwing up, it’ll definitely make you feel better. I’m gonna get you some water. Just let me take Y/N upstairs.”

Felix waved Chan off and said he’d be fine. He was going to go straight to his room afterward, change into his pajamas, and chug the huge hydro flask by his bed. It seems like Felix planned for this to happen, so Chan didn’t have to worry much.

Chan carried you upstairs to the guest room and carefully unwrapped your arms from his neck when he sat on the bed. When he let go, you hit the back of your head against the headboard and whined in pain. “Oh fuck, I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

“Ugh, how long have I been out for,” you said, clutching onto the back of your head.

Chan shrugged, turning around to look at you. “Just the ride back home.”

“I’m not looking forward to a hangover tomorrow.”

You expected Chan to respond but there was no reply. When you peeked one eye open, he was gone. You sighed, rolling to your side to face the window. Why did you feel so puzzled all of a sudden?

“Are you asleep?” A voice whispered from the end of the bed.

It was Chan and he had a tall glass of water in his hands. You sat up, thanking him as you took the glass and greedily drank from it. When you finished, you placed it onto the nightstand before laying on your back again.

“Am I different?” Chan suddenly asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Like, am I different from the others?”

You lightly shoved his arm with your foot. “Other guys? Yeah, you’re CB97.”

He shook his head. It wasn’t the answer he wanted. “No, actually, never mind,” he said, changing his mind.

You frowned and sat up. Then, you nudged his arm, bugging him to tell you, “What is it? Tell me, Bang Chan.”

When you whined, even more, he softly chuckled, facing you with a smile. The only source of light came from outside’s yard lamp through the window slits. You held in a breath when he leaned in.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

↫ v ↬

“Y/N, why are we doing this? You know I can’t bake.”

Felix frowned at the baking instructions displayed on his phone. He was having a hard time converting grams to ounces because the mixer was too disruptive. It was annoyingly loud. For the love of god, he spilled some powdered sugar onto the counter.

“I need help, Lix. It’s hard to make macarons by myself,” you huffed, blowing a strand of your bangs out of the way.

“What’s in it for me? I could be sleeping in right now,” Felix scoffed but went to the cupboard to grab sugar, salt, and almond flour.

“You get to spend quality time with me for free. Also, you can eat delicious strawberry macarons. They’re your favorite.”

He shook his head, “No, they’re Chan’s favorite. I already knew your intentions the moment you asked to come over. And, I like banana flavored.”

“What’s with you and banana?”

“Don’t you just love the way it’s pronounced? Banana,” he smiled, thinking about bananas.

Handing Felix the electric mixer, you bossed him around, enjoying every moment of it, “No, now beat the eggs with the mixer until it becomes stiff peaks,”

“Y/N, If you like Chan, it’s okay to admit it. I won’t judge you,” he said, cracking a couple eggs into a large bowl, then scooped the yolks into a smaller bowl, “But I’ll make fun of you.”

You paused whatever you were doing to ask, “Why’d you say that out of the blue? That’s odd.”

“Look,” he paused, “When have you ever went out of your way to gift homemade cookies for someone? This is cute child’s play Y/N.”

“Never. But everyone is getting a share of this batch, so I don’t know why you’re quick to assume,” you nervously shrugged. Why were you nervous? There was no reason.

“But who were you thinking of surprising when you bought the ingredients?”

You eyed the egg whites sliding off the cracked eggshells in his hand as they slowly dripped into the mixing bowl. Cringing at his sloppiness, you told him to start mixing and less talking. “Why would I like him, it’d never work out between us,” you muttered under your breath.

“Just don’t complain to me when he comes back with a girlfriend from his study abroad program,” Felix annoyingly sang, hitting the power button on the electric mixer. You felt something inside of you sort of snap.

“What?” You asked.

“You’re not the only girl he’s friends with. You know that right?”

“Yeah, of course,” you said, trying to hide your disappointment. You were no special exception and it somehow made you feel more hopeless. Felix knew his words must’ve triggered something so he decided to tone it down.

“As your best friend, I know when you’re into someone. This time, it’s different. You may not think you’ve liked Chan for a long time, but trust me, I know,” Felix turned down the mixer to add some sugar with the whipped egg whites, “No matter how many guys you’ve liked in the past, you’d always set them aside for Chan. You don’t do things like having late-night phone calls, binge-watching One Piece, or bake fancy cookies for anyone else. Only Chan. Admit it before I knock some sense into you, idiot. You have a soft spot for him.”

“I do not…” You said in denial, but who were you trying to convince?

“Whatever,” Felix gave up and rolled his eyes. He adjusted the speed of the electric mixer, adding the rest of the sugar into the whipped egg whites.

When Felix finished whipping the egg whites, they became stiff peaks. He removed the mixer from the bowl, distracted by the mixture’s consistency and unwillingness to budge. “Hey, Y/N,” he tapped your shoulder before holding the bowl of stiff peaks upside down above his head, “Check this out.”

“YONGBOK WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” You screamed his Korean name, hoping the mix wouldn’t fall onto his head and get on the floor.

“Look, it’s not falling hehehe,” Felix laughed, remembering how he saw something like this in a Tasty video.

You grabbed Felix’s shoulders in hopes of him putting the bowl down but then he placed it over your head and laughed. “Oh my god, if it gets in my hair, I’m gonna kill you,” you vigorously shook him.

Felix laughed and put you in a headlock, threatening to coat your face in stiff peaks. “You started it by calling me Yongbok.”

“Yongbok, Yongbokie, LEE YONGBOK,” you giggled when he locked you in tighter. His soft hoodie tickled your neck and you were scared of getting smeared with the cookie mixture.

“What are you guys doing?”

Felix dropped his arm to his side and placed the mixing bowl onto the counter. You stood up, fixing your now messy ponytail and awkwardly coughed.

Chan stood by the kitchen entrance with his arms crossed, looking somewhat displeased. You looked anywhere else but him. When you finally made eye contact with Chan, he quickly avoided it and cleared his throat. “I just came to say goodbye,” he said.

“But isn’t your flight at 5?” Felix glanced at his oven’s built-in clock, “It’s not even noon yet and you’re already leaving?”

“My parents want to have lunch with me before dropping me off at the airport. They invited my grandparents and other relatives, so it’s going to take a while.”

“Do the rest know?”

Chan nodded, “Yeah, I’m going to head back to grab my luggage after lunch, but I messaged them earlier and came to say goodbye just in case.”

Felix walked over to Chan and gave him the tightest bear hug, “Take care and stay safe. I’ll see you in a few weeks?”

“Yeah, and take care as well,” Chan smiled.

“For sure.”

When their hug was over, Felix said he needed to grab a charger from upstairs because his phone was about to die. You didn’t want to be alone with Chan because you were afraid of acting weird around him, then no one could save you. “What are you two making?” Chan nodded at the mess in the kitchen.

You shyly smiled, “Uh… Cookies? Hey Chan, are you going to stop by here again after your family lunch?”

“Maybe not, I’m not sure. I’ll call you if I do.”

“Hmmm, okay,” you nodded awkwardly, “I guess I’ll see you in a few weeks too.”

“Yeah, I’ll be back before you know it,” Chan smiled and began teasing, “Better not be a crybaby once I leave.”

You slapped his arm, “It won’t happen again, just let it gooo.”

“Hmm, nooo,” he laughed.

When Chan’s laughter died down, he stared at you with a small sigh. You were acting a little different today and he kind of had an idea as to why. He thought you sensed something unusual about his behavior, making you feel awkward towards him. He just wanted to board the plane right now and get his thoughts settled.

Chan wanted you to give him a hug like always but you refrained from doing so. By the time Felix came back down with his charger, he sensed the weird atmosphere and mouthed to you, ‘What did you do?’

You narrowed your eyes at him and Chan’s phone rang at the same time. It was Lucas on the other line, asking when his brother would be home since their grandparents would be arriving soon. Chan took that as a cue to be on his way, leaving you in the kitchen as Felix walked him out of the front door.

Felix came into the kitchen confused, “What happened when I was gone?”

“Nothing, we were just talking.”

“Do you think we’re going to finish baking these macarons by the time he leaves to the airport?” Felix scratched his head.

“I hope so,” you sighed. If you worked efficiently enough, it’s possible to finish on time.

Chan quietly sat in the back seat of the minivan with his younger siblings on the way back from the restaurant. He’d usually bug Hannah about her recent boy crushes or watch Lucas play Monster Hunter on his 3DS. This time, he stared out the window with his EarPods in. A lot was on his mind.

Chan felt sort of jealous, then stupid, then fine again. It was a cycle on his way back to the house. He knew Felix didn’t have any romantic feelings for you, but the tinge of jealousy would not leave his system. Chan let himself into the house when Felix had just finished mixing whatever. He was curious as to why Felix was up so early since his best friend tends to sleep in till noon during breaks.

When Chan heard your voice, his ears perked up like a dog. He felt excited to see you and walked into the kitchen, hoping to surprise you. Instead, Chan himself was surprised when he found Felix holding you in a headlock. You were laughing and squirming in Felix’s hold, making Chan wish he didn’t see that.

Not once have you laughed like that with Chan since he came back to visit. Chan thought you developed a crush on Felix but haven’t told him. But how could you not? You always tell Chan everything. He didn’t care if you liked someone… So what?

When they arrived home, Chan’s father pulled into the driveway. Everyone went inside to rest for a little while before sending him off to the airport. Chan still needed to go upstairs, so he could grab his things and load them into the trunk. After carrying his luggage downstairs and to the minivan, Chan popped open the trunk, halfway loading his things but stopped when his phone went off.

He picked up the call with his earphones, unaware of the person calling, “Hello?”

“H-have you left to the airport yet? Or are you still at home?” You said, heavily panting on the other line of the call.

“Y/N?” Chan asked surprised, “I’m still at home. I just got back.” He waited for you to answer but you had already hung up. “Hello? Y/N?”

“Chan!” You ran up to him, exhausted and a little sweaty. Then, you placed a hand on your waist to keep yourself up as you slowly regain your breath.

“Did you run here?”

“Yes.”

“What? Why?”

You stuck your hand into the inside of your denim jacket and fished out a decent packaged goodie bag. “I didn’t want you to leave empty-handed, so I made you these.”

You never fail to catch Chan off guard these days. He slowly unraveled the bag as if it were a delicate rose, and peeked inside to see a couple of pink macarons. Although several of them were cracked because Felix opened the oven midway into baking, causing them to deflate, there were some good ones.

“Is this what you were baking with Lix?” Chan asked. When you nodded, a smile couldn’t help but form on his lips.

“Yeah, sorry if I didn’t ask you to stay or say much. I wanted it to be a surprise,” you shyly glanced around him, hoping he’d try one of the cracked cookie sandwiches.

“Huh, I would’ve never guessed,” Chan laughed. As dumb as it sounds, he felt better knowing you were thinking of him.

You peeked into his goodie bag, “Are you going to try one?”

“Yeah, here,” he handed you one before taking a bite of his own.

You thought it was cute when Chan slowly chewed on the cookie. His eyes formed into crescents once he recognized the flavor. After finishing one macaron, he wrapped the bag, closing it and stuffed it into his pocket, “I’m saving these for when I wait to board the plane.”

“Here, eat mine,” you offered the uneaten macaron in your hand.

“You don’t like strawberries?”

“No, I do. But I know you like them more, so here,” you brought the miniature sandwich to his lips, smiling when he opened his mouth.

“Fanks, tho good,” Chan said with a mouthful.

“Ew, chew with your mouth closed.”

“Hmmm,” he swallowed the last of the macaron, “I said they’re really good, and thank you.”

Sighing in relief, you said, “Of course, I’m glad they come out burnt.”

“They came out kinda ugly though.”

You hit Chan’s bicep. “Then don’t eat them,” you held your hand out, “Return them.”

Chan laughed but reached into his pocket. Instead of handing the cookies back, he grabbed your hand and pulled you in for a hug. As his arms wrapped around your shoulders, he hugged tighter. You uncontrollably smiled, returning his hug and laughed at his sly move. Chan notices how he loves it when he’s this close to you. It makes him feel good to be around you.

He likes to do this thing where he rocks you back and forth in his arms. You remembered the first time he did it was when you were juniors in high school. You embarrassed yourself in front of a guy you liked at the time and felt down for the whole day. It wasn’t until after school where you were forced to tag along with Felix and Chan to eat pizza which made you feel better. Although you weren’t by the time you met up with them, both caught the sight of your glossy eyes.

Felix said he had to head back early because he needed to study for a bio test, but you and Chan both knew he would end up playing video games instead. Chan bought you a smoothie and walked you home since it was on the way to his. Before he let you go, he gave you a bear crushing hug, rocking you back and forth while telling you to cheer up and stop being a crybaby. His way of cheering you up always made you laugh and feel warm inside.

Chan was your big, swol teddy bear.

Fuck it, you liked him... It didn’t matter. You will deal with it later.

“Did you really think I’d give them back?” He playfully teased.

“If you did, I will never make you anything ever again. Ungrateful jerk,” you huffed, pretending to be angry.

“Nah, I’d never,” he said softly.

“When are you leaving?” You said, your voice a little muffled from being too close against his jacket.

“Pretty soon. We’re just waiting for my dad to get off his food coma.”

“Ohh okay.”

Still hugging you, Chan felt like he really needed to say it. You already know though and it wouldn’t change anything, but a strange feeling of realization hit him. As cheesy as it sounds, he wanted to give you a light kiss on your forehead. Wow, he likes you and he is finally sure of his feelings.

“Don’t worry, I’m gonna miss you,” Chan took a deep breath, “I always do, so don’t be a crybaby when I leave.”

↫ vi ↬

Chan rushed back to his dorm, feeling a surge of inspiration out of nowhere. It was a pain to sit through the last half of class when he was so eager to leave. He was excited to hop on his keyboard to work on a mix.

Once he stepped into his room, he dumped his backpack onto the floor and stripped off his hoodie, tossing it onto the bed. Then, he pulled out the keyboard pad from his desk and began to set up his laptop and headphones.

It was perfect.

Chan was afraid he’d lose the beat or lyrics that came to his mind earlier, but he got it down pretty quick. Now, the hard part. He had to find a way for it to flow smoothly together. He hummed, his head bobbing to the new beat, but something was still lacking.

“Maybe if I move this here, the transitioning would be a lot better,” Chan clicked on his mouse and dragged one of the clips, inserting it into the mix. When he replayed the sound, he smiled in content.

CB97’s back, baby.

Just when he felt like he could add in another element, an incoming call interrupted his train of thought. It was from you.

He picked up the call and swiped into the clock app to check the time zone in Sydney. His eyes widened, why were you calling him 12:30 in the morning? Did something happen?

“Hello? Y/N?” Chan said to the other line.

“I’m bored,” you said.

He laughed. “Why are you calling me? Are you by yourself?”

“No,” you replied, shaking your head, “I’m with Lix, Hyunjin, Jisung, and Changbin. Eww, Lix just threw up in the bushes.”

Chan cringed at the sound of his best friend hurling on the other line. It reminded him of the last time he went bar hopping with you and everyone. Now that Chan knew you were drinking, it was obvious you were drunk too.

“Why’d you call?”

“I don’t know.”

He raised an eyebrow, “What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I don’t know… Hyunjin started calling his girlfriend midway through finishing his drink. Then Changbin called his to confess how much he likes her. And don’t get me started on Jisung,” you tiredly watched Jisung rub soothing circles on Felix’s back.

“What about Jisung?” Chan chuckled, urging you to continue.

“He FaceTimed his girlfriend and said he loves her and misses her even though he knows she’s going to kick his ass for getting drunk,” you sighed.

“Then what?”

“Felix didn’t have anyone to call. He only searched up Momo on google images and angrily pointed at Heechul to treat her right or else he would fly to Korea to square up,” you laughed, starting to feel a little sick too.

“What about you? Did you have anyone to call?” Chan removed himself from his desk and plopped onto his bed.

“No, only you. There’s no one else to call, I don’t like anyone else,” you said truthfully.

“Wow, so I was your last resort,” he joked.

You felt liquid courage giving you a booster. Shaking your head, you sighed deeply as you watched Felix cough up the last of his partially digested pizza. “Never, I like you too much. I didn’t call anyone else because you’re the only one I want to talk to. So, no. Not my last resort, more like my automatic first choice,” you confessed.

“Sure.”

“No, I mean it. I love you so much. I just want to hug you all day long. You have no idea how much I miss you,” you whined.

Chan’s smile faltered and his heart began to race. There’s no way you meant that, did you?

“How much did you drink?”

“Enough to feel like throwing up but not enough to actually throw up,” you groaned at the unsettling feeling in your stomach.

“Will you remember what you just said to me when you wake up tomorrow?”

“Of course. I always remember! Remember, you said I would someday drunk call somebody. Well, you were right,” you giggled.

Boy, he hoped so. Chan was shaken but couldn’t do much because you were intoxicated. If you did like him, he wanted you to confess when you’re actually sober. That way, Chan would know you were being serious.

“Who’s not wasted? Can you hand them your phone?” Chan rolled in his bed while anxiously waiting.

“Hello?” A familiar raspy voice asked.

“Hey Bin, is everyone sleeping over at someone’s house tonight?”

“Oh, hey,” Changbin said tiredly, “Yeah, we’re going to head back to Felix’s soon. Just haven’t called an Uber yet because Y/N’s been on the phone. Everyone’s phones pretty much died.”

“That’s good,” Chan mumbled to himself, “Can you do me a favor and take care of Y/N for me? Just make sure she gets into a bed and drinks a glass of water before she sleeps. She’ll be fine by the time you guys get to the house since she sobers pretty fast.”

“Honestly, you should be here. She’s been talking about you all night long, but it’s Gucci. I’m gonna take care of everyone,” Changbin nonchalantly shrugged. It was no biggie to him.

“Just keep an eye out for her and everyone else,” Chan sighed.

Changbin nodded, “Yessir. I am going to order an Uber now, I’ll talk to you later. Oh shit, Y/N just threw up.”

“What? Wait-“

Although Chan’s heart was still pounding, he figured to leave it until tomorrow when you sobered up. He couldn’t stop rolling in his bed and suddenly felt more homesick. He didn’t know whether or not he should call you first thing tomorrow after his brunch with a classmate. Or maybe he should wait for you to say something?

Either way, you drove him nuts. Both good and bad.

The next morning, you stormed downstairs to look for the person who made you go out last night. He slept on the couch, snoring lightly and draped an arm over his eyes.

“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you,” you angrily tossed one of the couch pillows at a hungover Felix.

Felix tiredly rubbed his eyes. You woke him up and he palmed every spot on the couch for his phone. “What now?” He asked.

“I should’ve never gone with you guys. I’m screwed,” you said in distress.

“You’re so LOUD, I’m TRYNA SLEEP Y/N,” Jisung crankily got up from the couch and walked into Felix’s room to join Changbin under the covers.

“What did I do?” Felix asked again.

“I should have never gone drinking last night. I fucked up everything, I can’t bear to see Chan or even talk to him again,” you said, pacing back and forth in front of the TV.

Felix laughed, “Did you drunk call him and confess?”

“I think so, something along the lines of that,” you tried to remember your exact words but brain fart.

“Oh shit,” he chuckled.

“It’s not funny,” you began tearing up, “I messed up everything. It won’t be the same anymore. I don’t want Chan to avoid and stop talking to me because of these stupid feelings.”

Alarmed with your glossy eyes, Felix jumped from the couch even though he still felt nauseous from last night. He patted your back, holding in a laugh when you blinked away some tears. You reminded him of Jeongin. “Y/N, you’re worrying over nothing. Chan’s not going to do that to you, trust me. You know, confessions don’t mean much when you’re drunk.”

Sniffling, you asked him, “What do you mean they don’t mean much when you’re drunk? There’s truth to those words.”

“Being intoxicated makes you say a lot of things you would not choose to say if you were sober. One time, I even said Changbin’s arms were hot. Can you believe that?” He scoffed.

“Yeah, I mean, they’re pretty thick.”

Felix rolled his eyes, “The point is, confessions are meaningful when you’re sober. There’s something about being fully aware of your words and having the courage to say it without having to rely on liquid courage. Your confession was most likely taken lightly. You were just letting a friend know you miss him, like a lot, but that’s it.”

“So everything will be okay?”

“Yes, so stop worrying.”

↫ vii ↬

But everything wasn’t okay.

Chan kicked off his shoes and fell into bed right after his last final. It’s been almost two weeks since he last talked to you (you drunk calling him in the middle of the day), and he felt stuck. When he sent you messages and memes, you wouldn’t respond or would leave him on read. Sometimes, it’d be a miracle if you gave him short responses. Even then, the atmosphere was off and he didn’t know how to keep initiating without the conversation being cut short.

On days like this, it’d be perfect to compose something, anything. However, Chan kept deleting newly recorded beats, dissatisfied with its quality and flow. He gave up and quit all his open programs.

Without thinking about the different time zones, Chan went on Discord. His cursor hovered over your icon before he clicked on it. It’s now or never, he thought. Chan felt his heart pounding over a simple video call. He didn’t even know if you were going to answer. It’s better to not get his hopes up.

When the server rang, he anxiously clicked open some tabs to respond to Felix and check Facebook.

“Hello?” You asked, dreading the moment he called you.

“Y/N?” Chan asked, surprised you answered. He stared at the monitor, taking in the image of you working on something in your notebook.

“Hey,” you sighed.

Chan’s brows furrowed. He grew concerned at the time of your voice. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m just tired. You know, the same thing always happening at school and work,” you lied, avoiding his stare. His gaze was still piercing through a screen.

“Doesn’t seem like it. You usually talk about school and work, but you haven’t been doing so lately. Let alone at all,” Chan sadly stared at the screen as you pretended to be writing something important down.

“Sorry, I’ve been pretty stressed lately. I haven’t had the time to talk or call,” you apologized, feeding him another lie. Oh, but he knew you were avoiding him.

“You should’ve sent me a message or called me at least. It’s better to talk about it, Y/N. Keeping worries to yourself only make matters worse.”

“I’ll try to.”

Fed up with the tension, Chan frustratedly combed his hair with his fingers, “Cut the bullshit Y/N. I know you’ve been ignoring me. If it’s about that night you drunk called me, I’ll drop it. I know you don’t do homework at this time, especially on a Friday night.”

You dropped your pencil and stayed silent. Chan could only do so much on a screen. He stared at you, waiting for you to respond. It was dead silent because you could hear his hallmates talking in a foreign language as they passed by his door.

“Are you really not going to say anything?”

Finally looking up, you wiped off the tears that fell down to your cheeks, sighing. Chan sat up in his chair, worried he messed up. He thought you were going to end the call but held in a breath when you said, “What am I supposed to say? That, I’m sorry for having feelings for you? You say you can easily drop it, but I can’t.”

Chan let his hand cover his mouth, trying to hide his troubled expression. “Who said it was easy to drop it?”

“It’s not, but I screwed up… You’re aware of my feelings towards you. I can still remember that night’s conversation, and I know you do as well,” you covered your face, you didn’t want him to see you crying and looking like Rudolph, “It’s just going to be awkward for us the next time we’ll see each other. Everyone will sense it too. You’ll end up avoiding me.”

“Why do you say that? How can I avoid you? I’ve known you for years. That’s the least of your worries,” Chan said, frowning at your reasoning. He was utterly baffled.

You slammed your palms onto the desk. “How is that the least of my worries? I like you more than a friend would, Chan. I have feelings for you, but I feel like I’m on the verge of losing one of the closest people in my life, you.”

You were both practically raising your voices on each other.

He frustratedly started off strong, “What if you said those words to me when you were drunk but don’t actually mean it when you’re sober,” but finished in a small voice, “Then what?”

“But that didn’t happen, so there’s no point in bringing up another possibility,” you softly said.

“So what? Are you going to take back what you said? Because you can’t.”

Your heart dropped, and you wanted to bawl. “W-what?”

“I’m sorry,” he apologized and ended the call.

You shut off your laptop and sat in your chair crying. When you got into bed, you curled into a ball with a tissue box beside you. You felt horrible. Everything was a mess. After going through twenty-something tissues, the mini trash can by your desk was filled with snot balls and evaporated tears. Exhausted and too tired to cry anymore, your eyelids slowly dropped until a notification popped up on the screen of your phone.

It was a Surprise LIVE! from Monsta X.

You chucked your phone away and it fell off the bed and onto the wooden floor. As if you cared about watching them live right now. If your ultimate bias couldn’t cheer you up with his smile, nothing could.

You retrieved your phone to find a message from Chan. He only sent you a link directing you to Spotify playlist titled:

↫ viii ↬ “I’m back and you didn’t even come with Lix to the airport to come to get me? I’m so hurt,” Chan pretended to be offended. He placed a hand over his chest, feigning hurt as you laughed at his attempt to be petty. Afterward, he excused himself to change into a more comfortable outfit and muted you on Discord.

When Chan finally unmuted the call, you blew a raspberry and stuck your tongue out at the camera. “I couldn’t, I was out of town. I just got back an hour ago,” you yawned, stretching your arms into the air. Then you spun around in your chair, coming to a complete stop when you saw him wearing a new sweatshirt.

“I knowww,” Chan dragged, taking a seat in front of his monitor again, “I’m surprised I’m not that jet lag.”

“It’ll catch up to you, trust me,” you rolled your eyes at the memory of your own jet lag experience. It was horrible. “Is that new? The quality looks expensive, what’s it made of?” You asked about his sweatshirt.

Chan touched the black fabric, pinching it between his fingers to emphasize his next words, “You can say it’s… boyfriend material…” He shyly laughed when you palmed your face at his cheesy joke, but you were laughing too. “I’M JOKING, ENOUGH,” he smiled.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be wearing that, Chan,” you teased.

He looked down at his sweatshirt, searching for any flaws. “Why? Does it look ugly on me?”

“Nope,” you said, shaking your head, “You’re a fraud.”

“For what?”

“As much as you’re wearing something that’s boyfriend material, are you boyfriend material?” You teased him again as he could only smile back at you. He took your hint pretty well.

Chan pretended to shrug and spun in his chair. He briefly stared at the ceiling, thinking of what to say next. When Chan looked into the lens, he chuckled softly, “Can I? Or shall I?”

“Can you what?” You didn’t get it.

“Be your boyfriend.”

You blushed and fell silent. Chan wiggled his eyebrows, feeling like he won this time. It was your turn to get teased by him. He was about to say something but you beat him to it.

“Ask me again in person,” you looked away from the screen of your laptop to hide your warm cheeks.

“Can I? Or shall I?”

“What?”

“Come over now,” Chan eagerly suggested.

It was obvious that he was super excited and wanted to see you in person. He was like a kid on a sugar high.

“Can I? Or shall I?”

When his joke was being repeated by someone else other than him, you, he tilted his head in confusion. “What?” He asked.

“Can I? Or shall I? Be your girlfriend.”

Bang Chan didn’t even have to think twice. “Yes.”

“Well, come on and get over here then,” you laughed.

“Be there in fifteen.”

↫ ix ↬

“Wow, that movie is so good. It’s the best one I’ve seen all year long,” Chan gushed as you searched for places to grab a quick drink before going home.

You both had just finished watching Parasite, a movie about a lower class family benefiting from a wealthy family. From the trailers you’ve watched with Chan, you both thought it was going to be some kind of horror movie. However, the plot was totally unexpected and kept you on your toes.

Chan paid attention to the road but felt your eyes land on him. You smiled, adding on to what he was probably going to say next, “I’d say it deserves a ten out of ten from me.”

You navigated him to the nearest boba shop. To Chan’s luck, he found an open parking spot a few shops away from the place. When you got out of the car, the strong breeze hit your face, causing you to scrunch your nose. Chan noticed, so he put your hood on and tightly pulled onto the strings of your hoodie. You squealed, leaning away as he laughed.

As you kept walking, you were tired of having your hand brush against his. So, you took his hand into yours, slowly entwining your fingers with his while holding them up to show him. Chan covered his face because he found you so cute. He wanted to give you a hug.

“Can I see your wallet?” Chan asked.

You didn’t know why but you gave it to him anyway. You were fine with it since he’s already seen your cringy IDs since high school. “Why, what are you going to do with it?”

He ignored your question and approached the cashier, leaving you in the booth by yourself, asking, “Hi, can I get two roasted rice milk teas? Yeah, and with boba too.”

Then, Chan brought his phone out of his pocket, using Apple Pay as you stood there in disbelief. He walked back to the booth, taking your hand in his and returned your wallet. “Wow, you’re sly,” you slapped his hand away.

Chan chuckled, playing with the order number at his fingertips, “You can pay next time.”

“Oh, I will,” you stuck your tongue out.

Once your drinks were out, Chan drove you back to your place. You sat in the car with him, getting nervous when he turned off the engine. “Do you wanna… “ He threw in a suggestion.

You didn’t even let him finish. “W-wanna what?”

Chan held back a small laugh, “I was wondering,” and he paused, “If you wanted to take a stroll around the neighborhood before we call it a night.”

You wanted to repeatedly slap your forehead for having inappropriate thoughts in the first place. When you didn’t give Chan an answer, he threw in another suggestion. “Unless it’s too cold outside, we can go back to my place and hang out with Berry,” he shrugged.

Your eyes lit up at the mention of Berry. Your love for dogs was the same as it was for boba, and you excitedly nodded. Chan shook his head and rolled eyes his at your childlike reaction. He started his car again, reversing to give him some leeway and drove into the streets. His place wasn’t far from yours, it was only a five-minute drive and a fifteen-minute walk.

After parking his car into the driveway, you bolted out of your seat and waited for him to catch up to you at the door. Chan teased you for being more excited to see Berry instead of him. When you said, ‘Of course,’ he stopped in the middle of unlocking the door and raised an eyebrow.

Chan leaned in to whisper into your ear, “You can find your own ride back home, then.”

He bit his lip to prevent a smile from forming on his lips when you linked your arms with his, saying ‘sorry’ while begging him to drive you back home later. Of course, Chan was going to take you back. He wanted to make sure you were heading into your house safe and sound. When he finally unlocked the door, Berry woke up and shook herself before approaching the familiar scent of her owner. You heard small footsteps and the bell of her collar tinkling as she walked up to you and Chan.

He petted her head, giving it a quick scratch before kicking his shoes off. You crouched down to pet Berry while she heavily sniffed your ankles and socks. There was a dog scent coming from you because you have a dog back at home too.

Chan flipped on the lights and went to the kitchen to dump his empty drink into the motion sensor trash bin. When he walked into the living room, you had Berry laying flat on your chest and stomach. Her head pointed towards you and she cutely blinked, slowly beginning to fall asleep until Chan sat next to you.

She got up, edging herself between you two and laid on her stomach, waiting for Chan to give her a belly rub. As he rubbed her belly, you looked around the living room and noticed the house was quiet. “Where’s everybody?” You asked.

“Hannah’s at a sleepover and Lucas went with my parents to see a show. So I guess it’s just you and me.”

“Oh.”

“Wanna see what I’ve been working on?”

“Sure,” you nodded, feeling nervous again. Chan carried Berry back to her doggie bed by the fireplace, giving her one last pet before heading upstairs with you. When you walked into his room, you rolled your eyes at the giant monitors on his desk. Chan turned on his computer, satisfied with its smooth powering up, and typed in his password when the login appeared onto the screen.

Distracted by his light-up keyboard and mouse, you weren’t aware of him asking you to have a seat on his bed. Chan shook his head, handing you the mouse. “Go for it,” he offered you to change the color of his setup.

When you handed back the mouse, Chan searched for a folder titled: CB97 and clicked on a file that opened into an audio clip. He played it for you, a soft smile appearing on his lips when you bobbed to the beat. “Do you have a name for this song in the making?”

“I’m thinking of… Hoodie Season?”

“I like that title,” you fell onto the bed as he played more clips for you to hear. When your eyelids were slowly beginning to droop, both yours and Chan’s phone buzzed. It was a Snapchat notification from Hyunjin.

You reached into your butt pocket, whipping out your phone to take a look at whatever irrelevant thing Hyunjin would send to you at this time. When you opened his message, it was a recorded memory from a couple weeks back.

“Yo, I’m sick as fuuu-“ Felix hyped himself until he threw up into the nearest bush outside of the local bar. Thank god the snap ended before you could see anything coming out, but it was still fun to watch.

You giggled and pressed onto the next video.

“I miss you, I love you, and I know you’re going to kick my ass when you see me tomorrow,” Jisung whined to his girlfriend on the phone, “If you kick my ass, you will regret it. Then, you won’t have a nice ass to look at and touch anymore.”

Then the camera pointed at you. “You’re so gross,” you fake gagged and took out your own phone to dial your crush, “God, I miss Chan.”

Before you could finish watching the whole thing, you internally screamed inside your head and quickly skipped that part. “What was that?” Chan asked, plopping onto the bed to watch the video when he heard his name being said out loud.

You immediately chucked the screen away, facing it down onto the bed, “Nothing.”

“Doesn’t seem like nothing,” Chan said, trying to peer over your shoulder.

Shaking your head, you tried to roll away, but he wrapped an arm around your waist, reaching for your phone with his free hand. You pleaded for him to not look, and he did exactly the opposite.

Chan watched your drunk self confessing to him on the phone from that night. No matter how hard you’d try to wriggle out of his grasp and steal your phone back, he was too strong for you to do so. When the part where you handed your phone to Changbin came up, Hyunjin flipped the camera back to selfie mode to display his face.

Hyunjin drunkenly pointed his index finger at the camera, trying to prove a point. “And that’s how you get back at Jisung and Y/N.” Several moments later, his eyes widened, “OH My GOD, Y/N.”

You guessed the recording ended when you threw up. Not a good memory.

Your mouth went agape. Hyunjin did both you and Jisung dirty.

“I’m going to kill him,” you said, clenching your fist.

“And I’m going to screen record that from my phone,” Chan laughed, extending his arm to the desk for his phone until you pushed his shoulders back down. He landed onto the bed with a light thud, wrapping his arms around your waist again. Chan stared at your flushed cheeks, softly chuckling at your persistence to prevent him from watching your most embarrassing moment in life once more.

You glanced down to his lips, admiring his prominent cupid’s bow and held in a breath. Chan stared into your eyes, his eyes trailing down your nose, and then to your lips lovingly. Grinning like a fool, he was happy to have you as his and in his arms. Chan bit his lip, stopping the softest smile from spreading across his lips. He knew he failed to keep his cool. While his grip on your waist loosened, he brought a hand to your cheek, gently cupping it with his smooth palm.

Chan leaned in, a small smirk quirking at the corner of his lips when you nervously gulped. You didn’t even have time to think because his lips were suddenly on yours. Chan pressed on slowly, grabbing your thigh to hitch you closer to him. You fluttered your eyes shut, savoring the taste of his lips as he took control. Chan loved the feeling of having your hands run down from his shoulders and to his chest. He’s honestly the master of the teasing game, lightly nipping at your bottom lip and flicking his tongue at the entrance of your mouth. Before he could deepen the kiss, he flipped you over, so that you’d be lying under him instead. Chan didn’t know where the night would take him and you didn’t either.

But it is what it is, so he made sure to lock the door, just in case.

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