#oh to be gay and love woman in victorian wear
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Good Evening
It's Agatha in Missy's outfit I can't unsee it
This show is going to kill me
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😨Not what I expected😨
(This story is complete fiction and although there may be elements too the story i want to be true, there is no fact or real world experience behind this story)
Having been an internet sissy for a few years I’d never really indulged in physically becoming what i dream of deep down. Although I had Sissy fantasies and desperately dreamed of a time when I’d be force feminised and bound however i was generally quite certain i was only interested in female doms and that kinks were not something too replace your everyday life and freedoms.
Until one day… i stupidly broke my rules….
While browsing tumblr as I usually did to indulge in my pathetic fantasies, a message would appear… “oh great another so called mistress who wants a full time 24/7/365 sissy slave to do nothing but be her property….. haha… delete” i said to myself as I suddenly was surprised and slightly turned on by seeing… a Daddy Dom had messaged. Usually i wouldn’t give a male dom any attention because ultimately I’m interested in woman. However something weird came over me and I opened the message.
At first it was harmless, he was complimenting a sissy baby picture I’d put up. There were no actual pictures of me on my bio at this point, come to think of it I didn’t even dress up as any kind of sissy at all at this point. So I nervously responded to the man telling him this and how I’d never actually tried to be the sissy I fantasised about. But to my surprise this Man would continue to talk to me about sissy baby fantasies, filling my thoughts with scenarios and promises of how and what he was going to do to me when I eventually visited him.
Was it gay and pathetic? Sure but was it real? Not particularly, i still lived a normal life off of tumblr and continued my ineptitude with meeting woman and losing my virginity at 23. We began talking daily however and every day the man became more a part of my everyday thought process, being told to call him daddy made me horny, him calling me princess and good girl humiliated and made me weak at the knees.
Eventually after about a month i’d deliberately reblog certain things to encourage daddy too message me and humiliate me. However one day I let slip that although I’m predominantly a pathetic sissy baby cuckold I was extremely jealous of my friend Sissy Natalie’s new Sissy Maid dress. That would encourage Daddy to begin teasing me and telling me humiliating fantasies of how he’d control me into being his live in sissy maid. Every day I’d jerk my pathetic little penis too a ruined orgasm as daddy told me more and more about a dark fantasy life as his property.
Finally I decided that since daddy lived only 6 hours drive away… I’d offer myself for a weekend to be his. Daddy loved the idea, for weeks he planned it out for me, from staying at his place too how i was to get down and what to bring. However when he insisted on sending me a pink plastic chastity for me to wear for a month before my arrival at him…. I should have suspected this was not as innocent as a simple weekend of kink exploration.
After months of planning by daddy the day finally came, lying to my parents whom i knew would never understand and too friends i headed off on the 6 hour car journey to my “job interview” all the way down the road daddy insisted i listen to nothing but audio of a deep and domineering male voice insulting, degrading and humiliating me about being less than human as a sissy maid doll. He also insisted i wear panties under my male clothes and over my pink chastity enclosed penis, naturally after a month of being locked up i was incredibly horny and desperate for freedom….. so desperate i’d pretty much do whatever daddy said.
Arriving at Daddy’s house I couldn’t believe it, a large 3 floored Detached victorian style house on a large plot of land and a long driveway were what greeted me. Driving my car up to the door, I stopped in front of the house and looked back in fear as the large cast iron electric gates shut. Suddenly and without warning my car door opened and taking my hand was a large, muscular 7ft tall man with a long beard and bald head. “Here princess, your far too weak to climb out of a car alone like this, let me help you” the man said, in shock because i’d never actually seen daddy before i could do nothing but stammer as he pulled me out of the car too my feet and kept hold of my hand as he reached in grabbing my rucksack of male clothes and carrying it in his free hand.
“Its ok sissy, i understand your lost for word’s because your desperately horny and can’t wait to serve daddy” he said walking me in through the huge and heavy front door. Closing it behind us i was in shock at the large open hallway with Victorian style wood panelling decor walls, a wide grand staircase with a beautifully carved wooden banister, regal looking cabinets with expensive looking ornaments adorning them…. Was daddy rich? Suppose it kinda explained his controlling nature. At that daddy lead me along the hall too a door beneath the huge staircase.
Opening he revealed a room under the stairs which was about 70 square feet in size, it had a pink fluffy carpet, Pink and purple flower patterned walls and a sparkly pink ceiling with a single light. All that fitted in the room was a queen size bed which had been made up with pink sheets with purple unicorns on them, a makeup table with a stool and a small wardrobe which was wide open revealing upwards of 10 pathetic sissy dresses. Pushing me into the room daddy said “this is your room sissy, yes its a bit barren but you will only sleep and get ready here so theres no need for modern comforts… Speaking of, hand over your phone, car keys, wallet, and any other personal belongings now sissy”
Sitting on the edge of the bed i looked at the man worried, looking around I muttered…. “I thought i’d be uhm sleeping with you….” Before then starting to panic as the large man demanded my personal belongings. “But their mine, I cant give you my phone or keys!” I protest however at that daddy stepped through the doorway and raised his hand, backhanding me hard across the face i let out a yelp as the force knocked me onto my side, tears filling my eyes I felt daddy begin to forcefully remove my joggers to reveal the panties i was told to wear and my caged penis. Laughing I watched him fish my phone, wallet, keys and airpods from my pockets. “Remove that hoody and tshirt faggot, looking at you pretending to be a man is making me nauseous” he demanded chucking my joggers out onto the hall floor. Sitting up I sniffled and whimpering “is this how you’ll treat me all weekend daddy?” As i followed his instructions and removed my upper layers. Once sat on the bed in nothing but panties he replied “Yeh yeh sure sure, now from now on call me Sir, Master or My Lord! Understand?”.
Sniffling and rubbing my sore cheek as tears rolled down both sides of my face as i nodded saying “yes d…. My lord”. This weekend was clearly going to be hard and painful, but daddy cares about me so im sure it’ll satisfy my kinks for a while, i thought. At that daddy would reach into the wardrobe grabbing out a purple dress, with a floor length fishtail skirt, white frills all over, puffy shoulders and long sleeves…. Seeing it my penis began straining against the cage as daddy flung it at me. “In the drawer of the makeup table you’ll find a lady razor, all the makeup you’ll be wearing and some vitamins. Shave every inch of your body, take 2 vitamins every 12 hours then do your makeup and get that dress on and be sat there waiting for me too return faggot! Do you understand” daddy stated plainly and abruptly. Feelings the shiny satin dress scrunched up on my lap i tried to focus.
“But my Lord? Where are you going?” I asked nervously as he stepped out of the door and simply ignored me. Closing the door i heard the distinct and loud sound of it being locked. Looking at the dress I began to feel a swirl of emotions, complete fear as i noticed locking rings at the Wrists, Kneck, Waist and Knees and complete arousal as the helplessness of being trapped in the dress began turning me on. For the first hour I slowly and uncomfortably dry shaved every last hair from my nose down off until i was completely hairless and smooth all over, then without even really thinking i took the vitamins and began trying my best to do makeup that matched the dress i was yet to put on. On my face I slathered foundation to hide my bad skin, coated my lips in matte light purple lipstick and used a dark purple lip liner to emphasise my lips, then using black eyeliner I covered my eyelids in a sparkly purple eyeshadow and finally gave myself the most pathetic blush to make my cheeks look rosey.
Looking at myself in the makeup table mirror I whimpered at how pathetic i’d allowed myself to be be but it was simply too late now, besides it was only one weekend then if i hated it i never had to come back… looking at the purple dress laid out on the bed i went to pick it up however looking to the wardrobe i noticed on floor a box with “Sissy Faggots Necessities”. Walking over I opened the box to find, thick curvy hip and ass padding, a corset and a pair of fake 34F foam breasts. Looking at my pathetic body in the mirror i held the breast and hip padding in place and despite not really knowing how comfortable i was putting them on I decided that it was probably what daddy wanted so looking myself directly in the my demoralisingly makeup plastered reflection i began to added the layers. Sliding the hip and ass padding into position it turned my small bubble butt into a more curvaceous and plump ass with wider hips, adding the corset I wrestled and moaned uncomfortably as I pulled its strings as tight as i could to create a perfect hourglass figure and finally I positioned the Large breast forms over my chest. Standing staring at the mirror i became entranced running my hands up and down my hips and squeezing my fake breasts…. “Im a man, this is weird and wrong…. I need to stop…… but….. Daddy is in control this weekend. I must try my best to obey him this weekend, I promise that much” i muttered shamefully to myself.
From the wardrobe I grabbed a purple bra pathetic lines with white frills and a matching pair of panties, securing the bra and panties in place i stood with my back to the door looking at the dress laid on the bed. “Put it on, you need too or Sir will be angry….. just accept how pathetic you have to be for 4 days, you agreed too this weekend so theres no getting out if it.” I told myself as i reach down and unzipped the dress as it lay on the bed. Clutching the purple prissy satin monstrosity by the puffy shoulders i lifted the gaping dress and held it in front of myself, raising one foot i stepped into the fishtail floor length dress. Having stepped both feet into the dress, the discomfort became more prevalent as my caged penis desperately tried to get hard and it began leaking precum. Pulling the dress into place i slid one arm at a time into the dress and raised the high neck into position, looking down the loose front on the dress i could see my masculinity being completely smothered under the purple satin and becoming entranced and confused by my feelings.
In my trance like state looking at the loosely hanging dress off my frame I Didn’t even hear daddy unlock the door and entering the room. Grabbed either side of the zipper daddy frightened me as he reach down at the underside of my heavily shaping padded ass and in a swift motion zipping it up right up too the base of my skull. In an instant I suddenly felt the dress go from loose too snuggly hugging my hips, ass, my knew breasts and tight around my neck. “Perfect timing faggot! I must say….. Daaaaaaaaaaam those hips and ass looking fiiiiiiiiiine now! Now hold still till we lock you in faggot!” Daddy said in a commanding tone. Too scared too move i simply stammered, “ehm… my… uhm…. My lord… I don’t want…. I don’t…. Uhm… must you uhm lock me in this dress?” To which i felt him handling the locking rings on the back of my neck. With a loud and audible click he would lock the zipper up at the back of my neck.
“Shut up faggot, this is what you wanted. Don’t try to back out now…. Or do you want to make me angry” daddy growled as suddenly i felt the white apron strap around my waist cinch tight and heard the click of another lock. “Oh… uhm… *gulp* of course not my lord its just…” i said as suddenly the white strap around my knees cinched tight and my train of thought was disrupted by my knees being pulled together and the sound of a 3rd lock clicking shut. “Turn around faggot, let me see your painted face!” Daddy commanded. Trying to turn i found myself having to take more dainty and small steps to turn on the spot, once facing the towering man i looked up only for him too burst into laughter at my makeup caked face. “HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH YOUR SO PATHETIC AHAHAHAHHA LOOK AT YOU AHAHAHAHA HOW DID YOU EVER PRETEND YOU WERE A MAN AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH” he bellowed with laughter as i hung my head and let myself fall backwards too sit in the bed, the dress so restrictive in its movement room that i could do nothing but sit perfectly upright and daintily.
Taking one of my wrists in his hand as he continued to laugh and pulled out a 4th padlock he pulled the cuff of the dress’s sleeve tight and locked a padlock on it before completing the same motion with the other. “Haha now you just sit there for a minute faggot while i go get something…. And get those shoes of gayboy” daddy chuckled as he flung shiny purple dolly flats with padlocks on the straps at me, as i began putting them on he shut and locked the door on his way out. Running my hands up and down my front, touching my fake chest and rubbing my crotch hoping for some sensation I felt absolutely demoralised and pathetic. In a moment of panic the realisation hit me that this purple pathetic, degrading satin movement restricting dress was locked on me at 5 points, desperately i began tugging at any of the padlocks I could reach and thrashing to get it off of me. Unlocking the door daddy walked in and his face quickly turned to anger as he growled “what the fuck do you think your doing Faggot!!”. In that moment pure fear took control of me, jumping up i flung myself at the tall man as i began patting around his pockets and weakly banging my fist against his chest.
“Give me the keys!! I don’t want this!! I’ve changed my mind!! Unlock me and get me out of this nightmarishly gay thing!!!! IM A MAN!! I don’t know the safeword you need to hear but!! Please just let me go home” I begged and cried out desperately until suddenly daddy simply raised his knee in a sharp and violent manner. Smashing his knee into my caged crotch, pain shot up through my body and I let out the most girly and pathetic scream before grabbing my crotch and falling to my knees as tears began filling my eyes. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything through the Intense pain. Strangely in that moment daddy presented a contract and a pen too me, “sign it faggot!” Was he crazy? I violently shook my head as I kept both hands gripping my crotch. “Look faggot this is a contract that outlines your freedoms, states the duration on this treatment and outlines what’s expected of you… Sign it! You want to be looked after in the eyes of the law right?! Now sign it to protect the you that matters!” He said bluntly, reluctantly i took the pen and willingly signed that contract believing it was protecting me…
Once signed daddy disappeared for a moment before returning and grabbing me under the arms and lifting me onto the stool in front of the makeup table. “You can come in Melanie!” Daddy said and suddenly panic struck me, another person! Was going to see me like this! I wanted to run but between the dress making it impossible and my still painfully throbbing crotch i was unable to do anything but watch in pure embarrassment. At that in walked a very normal looking woman, a hair stylist by the looks of the equipment she was carrying.
“Sorry Johnny, so much stuff and so few hands to carry it with haha. So how have you been handsome? Still doing that beautiful and saintly thing where you help resourceless trans woman go from male too true and happy female?” Asked the curvy African woman with her long dark hair separated into two braids, she wore a Midi length ruched bodycon black dress, a pair of knee high black leather boots and a pale pink Crop puffer jacket. Turning so innocent and friendly daddy began talking too the women like I wasn’t there, “aw don’t make a big deal out of it Melanie, I just hate seeing these poor souls suffer and being tortured” daddy replied as i tried hard to bite my tongue. “Anyway this is who your here for Melanie not me hehe” daddy giggled pointing too me in the makeup table stool.
Turning her attention to me Melanie smiled, dumping her bags on the bed she stood behind me placing her hands on my shoulders and looking over my head into the mirror to look at my face. Glowing red in embarrassment and feeling my penis fighting hard to get erect at her mere touch, she spoke to me “Hello there beautiful, i love what you’ve done with your makeup most women don’t go for such super feminine looks but it suits you! So whats your name hun?” Instinctively i replied with my male name “James! Miss Melanie” I blurted as I Saw daddies face turn and look very angry. At that Melanie wrap her arms round my waste hugging me from behind as she rested her chin on my shoulder, “awww hun its ok, this is a safe space Johnny and i aren’t here to judge you. I understand you want to be a woman because you don’t feel like a man… its ok to be what you want to be! So don’t tell me your dead name, tell me who you are hun? And call me Auntie Mel toots” she cooed with a radiant smile.
What was i to do? All i wanted to do was rip of this gay faggot dress off and clean off this humiliating makeup from my face so i could take mel out and show her a good time, instead I had to sit in pain as my rock hard penis was smothered and consider the path daddy wanted me too take. ‘Im not trans! I don’t want to be a woman! I can’t pretend to be! Its not right!’ I thought as i looked at a very stern daddy, i knew exactly what he wanted me too do. So i had a choice, quickly and helplessly blurt out the truth and hope i can move fast enough in this dress to stop daddy punishing me or go along with daddies lie…
Glowing bright red, not that it was noticeable under the heavy makeup, i regrettably caved like a weak little coward and embarrassingly whimpered… “I uhm go by uhm Jade… at least when I uhm dress… like this” to which daddy smirked. At that Melanie smiled and began to work on attaching the shoulder length hair extensions to my head. Weaving each one into my actual boy hair it felt so strange, as she did Mel talked at me for ages telling me how I was so lucky to be in a safe place with Johnny and how I was so brave for doing this. Humiliated and demoralised didn’t cover it, I couldn’t believe i was sitting here going along with such a lie. Watching in the mirror i watched as the final thing identifying me as masculine was covered and i was given the overtly feminine shoulder length locks of a woman. Just as she was finishing up Mel said “I love your dress choice Hun… its very ehm… unique! Not something I imagine your everyday woman wants to wear… but ehm well thats a good thing I suppose… you’re already developing a unique style” mel said as she very clearly thought i looked pathetic but tried to sound positive and constructive.
In that moment i asked “but uhm don’t you think the padlocks are a bit… uhm Strange” i said hoping she’d realise her friend Johnny was holding me captive. Instead she turned the stool round and crouch down infront of me, cradling my chin in her hand she said “Not at all hun! If locking yourself in your cloths helps you feel safe and helps you trust Johnny wont try to take advantage of you then i think the padlocks are more than warranted. Johnny has helped loads of women like you though, he’d never dare remove your cloths by for to sleep with you… but if padlocking yourself into this…. Unique little number helps you feel safe while your transition then so be it!!!” Mel cooed. WHAT?? Why the fuck would I lock myself in!?? That was a cry for help!!! I thought however just before i could correct her daddy spoke up….
“Thank you again Mel! So just to check how long will those extensions hold ?” Daddy as moving next to my and placing his hand through the extensions to put his hand on the collar of my dress. Smiling mel stood up and said “will their fixed to her scalp so they’ll remain perfectly still until her actual hair grows out too shoulder length!” At that I panicked and went to say “WH……agghh” however daddy simply grabbed the collar of the dress and pulled it backwards choking me before i could object. “Isn’t that exciting jade!! She’s so excited shes lost for words!! Are you gonna say thank you and give auntie mel a goodbye hug?” Daddy asked letting go of the dress collar. Nervously i stood up and wrapped my arms around Mels lower torso, subconsciously going for the little spoon hug posture, placing my chin on her shoulder I embarrassingly cooed “thank you auntie mel”.
Hugging back tightly mel kissed my makeup slathered cheek and said “aww it was a pleasure hun” and at that mel walked out of the room. Daddy then handed me white satin gloves to put on and made me sit and look at myself in the mirror while he showed Mel out. Sitting there like a good faggot i sat with my gloved hands palms down on my lap, looking at myself in the mirror I studied every inch of my unrecognisable form ‘Im not TRANS!! Its wrong to pretend when Im not!!….. but look at me…. Whos going to believe Im a man?!!’ I thought.
At that daddy walked back in, turning me round he demanded i remain in my submissive seating position. Taking pictures on his phone daddy smirked before saying.. “Now your existence as it was meant to be… begins!!!”
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Halloween Movie viewings, 2022
I started with Dracula. I actually watched Coppola's film in September, and have been receiving my Dracula Daily emails. I also started in on the Dracula TV series from 2013. Here are my thoughts for Dracula Week:
The Coppola film still holds up.
All the effects are in-camera and gorgeous.
Whole scenes are straight out of the book and a large amount of the dialogue is, as well.
Everyone is *so young* in it.
Oh dear God, is this why everyone since then goes galloping for the "Tragic romance" angle?
Dracula's Brides are still my favorite part.
Dracula, the series 2013-14, is the one we call "Sexy Dracula" in my house. So pretty! So fanfic worthy!
Jonathan Rhys gets my vote for New Tony Stark. (Looked him up on Wikipedia; alcoholic. Oh dear)
Weird, wild take on the whole story. Makes no bones about the fact that they're doing an AU.
COSTUME POOOOOHHHRRNN
This is also far and away my favorite take on Renfield.
Like, for real, watch The Renfield Show because they should have just went with that.
Renfield is better written and performed than Van Helsing.
And he's a huge, lovely black man in exquisitely tailored Victorian suits.
Studied law in ST. LOUIS, met Dracula in the wild west.
The balls on this guy.
Lucy is played by Morgana and I love her.
First scene she's wearing a Rose Petal dress: white with a red bodice and falling rose petals scattered down the white skirts.
She looks like she's bleeding out and it's fucking amazing.
Guys, it's gay.
No really, The Gay represent!
Mina is studying Medicine.
They've conflated her father with Seward, again. Why do they do this?
Never mind, there's a blonde woman who is a legit Vampire Slayer.
Who Dracula keeps distracting with his dick
The ending is... Weird. All the hallmarks of having it cut short.
I will write a better ending.
Reading Dracula Daily, it brings into sharp focus how no one ever gets Jonathan Harker right. Jesus, he needs to be a damn action star. (Coppola! You had KEANU REEVES and you insisted on a milquetoast performance!?!)
I want to see Jonathan with both The Shovel, and the Kukri knife. Goddamn it.
That was last week. Stay tuned.
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any girls! dark academia movie recs? i really struggle to find anything not about a group of boys (as much as I love them)
SO MANY!!! This is probably a far more detailed answer than you were expecting but this is a popular question and I want to keep a list for myself and others.
Feel free to add to it/give opinions. I've tried to give a tw for anything I can remember
Girls! Dark Academia Movies/TV Shows
Mona Lisa Smile (2003)
1950s Women’s college
Art professor! Julia Roberts
She’s legit the female Mr Keating of the art & college world
Feminism vs. Tradition
Maggie Gyllenhall x Ginnifer Goodwin; their characters were more than friends. Fight me.
Does not end how you expect
Strike!/All I Wanna Do/The Hairy Bird (1998)
MY FAVOURITE!!!
Free on YouTube under one of its various names
Comedy
1960s all girls boarding school
Young Kirsten Dunst
Group of girls plot to sabotage a merger with a boys school less prestigious than their own
Secret attic clubhouse meetings of the D.A.R aka Daughters of the American Ravioli (eaten cold, ew)
girls get political & advocate for their rights using ANY elaborate and chaotic scheme
TW: eating disorder, vomiting & creepy male teacher but the girls plot against him too
The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie (1969)
based on a short book I read for uni by Muriel Spark
1930s girls school in Edinburgh
Scottish teacher! Maggie Smith, controversial with a focus on romantic ideals
Spoiler alert, the liberal teacher is actually a fascist
Her group of fave students has cult- vibes and it’s fascinating
Picnic at Hanging Rock
1970s movie or 2018 mini series
Never watched either but I plan to
Wild Child (2008)
00s romcom every UK teen girl loves
Emma Roberts as the spoiled rich American teenager sent to a strict English boarding school
Plots to get herself expelled but oh no she’s making friends with the girls who help her
And the headmistress has a hot son, and he’s nice??? Double oh no
ICONIC SCENES
Everything! Goes! Wrong!
omg she burns the school down
Feel good, comfort, nostalgia
St Trinians (2007)
English girls boarding school
The kids are all criminals, no joke
So are the teachers
CHAOTIC
gay awakening for british girls
Art heist pulled off by school girls
Government tries to shut them down but oh no, the education minister & the headmistress are ex-lovers
Colin Firth x Rupert Everett in drag
Superior cast: Jodie Whittaker, Gemma Arterton, Juno Temple, Stephen Fry, Colin Firth, etc...
embodies the phrase 'problematic fave'
St Trinians 2: The Legend of Fritton’s Gold (2009)
Mystery, pirate ancestors, hidden treasure
omg Shakespeare was a woman
girls disguised as boys to infiltrate and rob the posh boys school
Villain! David Tennant in that ICONIC boat scene
Teen girls vs. ancient misogynist brotherhood
like the first film but MORE chaotic and BETTER!???
The Falling (2014)
1960s all girls school
best friends! but its unrequited love
Agoraphobic + distant mother aka mommy issues
Sudden death and the school suppresses/ignores the students grief, sparking mass hysteria & a fainting epidemic in the girls
Cast: Maisie Williams (GoT) & Florence Pugh (Little Women) & Joe Cole (Peaky Blinders)
TW: teen pregnancy, death, vomiting, underage s*x, sibling inc*st, past s*xual assault
READ THE PLOT SUMMARY FIRST
The Book Thief (2013)
Based on an amazing book by Markus Zusak
set in 1940s Nazi Germany
Daughter of a communist whose family were taken by the Nazis/died is fostered by an older couple who teach her to read & she paints a dictionary on the basement walls
Coming of age story about a compulsive book thief. No joke, this kid steals books from banned book burnings and breaks into the mayor's library through the window
Family hides the Jewish son of an old friend in their basement and he helps her to start writing about her experiences in the war
TW: death, bombings, WW2 anti-semitism
Mary Shelley (2017)
Overall good & roughly biographical
Pretty costumes and aesthetic
Modern feminist take on Mary Shelly in her own time period
So many INACCURACIES for the drama so don’t take it as truth
Percy Shelley slander and not all of it is justified
Cast: Elle Fanning, Douglas Booth, and Maisie Williams
The Secret Garden (1993)
Based on a fave childhood book
1901 colonial India & Yorkshire, England
Orphaned, spoilt & neglected girl sent to live with her reclusive Uncle in the English countryside
Gothic elements, mysteries, secret doors/passages/locked gardens
local boy with a flock of animals, magic, kids chanting around a fire and all around immaculate vibes
Happy ending!!!
Hidden Figures (2016)
African-American women as mathematicians for NASA
1960s space project
Women balancing a career and family obligations
Deals with racial & gender discrimination
Loosely based on the lives of Katherine Johnson, Mary Jackson, and Dorothy Vaughan who worked for NASA as engineers & mathematicians
Anne of Green Gables (1985) & sequel (1987)
Adaptation L.M. Montgomery’s ‘Anne of Green Gables’ books
Canada (late 1890s/early 1900s)
Highly imaginative & bookworm orphan is adopted by a reclusive elderly brother and sister duo
Small town & school years comedic drama
Unrequited Enemies -> Friends -> lovers
Inspiring new woman teacher
Girls re-enact Tennyson’s poem and nearly drown for the aesthetic™
Dramatic poetry reading with INTENSE 👀eye contact👀
Writer! Anne & English teacher! Anne dealing with unruly girls school antics
Collette (2018)
biographical drama on french writer Sidonie-Gabrielle Collette
Victorian & Edwardian era France
More talented than her husband so she ghostwrites for him
Fight for creative ownership of her wildly successful novels
Affairs with a woman called Georgie and also with Missy, born female but masculine presenting
Cast: Keira Knightly, Dominic West, Eleanor Tomlinson (Poldark)
Enola Holmes (2020)
Netflix book adaptation
Younger sister of Sherlock Holmes
Victorian era! feminism/suffragettes
Mother-daughter focus
Mystery, adventure, secret codes, teens running away & escaping from (and eventually fighting) assassins
Cast: Helena Bonham Carter, Henry Cavill, Sam Claflin, Fiona Shaw, Millie Bobby Brown
Ginger & Rosa (2012)
1960s England
best friends since literal birth navigating troubled teen years
poet & anti-nuclear activist! Ginger
off the rails but also catholic! Rosa
Shout out to Mark & Mark the gay godfathers we all want
family troubles
TW: older man has an affair with a 17 yr old
Testament of Youth (2014)
based on WW1 memoir by Vera Brittain
young woman (writer & poetry lover) escapes traditional family & goes to study at Oxford University
abandons to become a war nurse
romance, tragedy and war trauma
Cast: Alicia Vikander, Kit Harrington (GoT), Taron Edgerton (Rocketman), Colin Morgan (Merlin)
Little Women (2019)
Writer! Jo & Artist! Amy
Mother/daughter focus and sister dynamics
the March sisters’ theatre club is *chefs kiss*
champagne problems edits of Jo x Laurie are a mood
Ambivalent ending perfectly captures Louisa May Alcott’s dilemma with the book the movie is based on
set in 1860s America
ALL STAR CAST and a Greta Gerwig masterpeice
Lady Bird (2017)
coming of age in early 2002/2003 Sacramento, California
all girls catholic school
writer! Christine aka Lady Bird wants to get outta town and start her life again at college 'in a city with culture'
Mother/daughter dynamics - so realistic!
I live for that Jesus car stunt & the nun's reaction
school theatre program
Cast: Saoirse Ronan, Timothee Chalamet, Beanie Feldstein
Another Greta Gerwig gem
Beguiled (2017)
Virginia, civil war era
Girls school with only five students and two teachers left
Find an injured Union army soldier & bring him inside
Women & teenagers want his attention (v. problematic) before uniting against him
(tbh you'll either love it, hate it, or watch once & forget it)
Sofia Coppola film so its very feminine gaze
TW: violence, death, underage
Legally Blonde (2001)
No questions will be taken
Elle Woods was the blue print
TV series:
House of Anubis (2011-2013)
I know it’s a kids/young teen show but I still unironically love it
ANCIENT EGYPT!!!!
Modern day with Victorian era links to treasure hunters & Egyptian research expeditions (stealing from tombs)
Chosen one plot lines, curses, kidnapping, mysteries, secret tunnels under the school, elixir of life
Teens have investigate & protect themselves cus oh no the TEACHERS are involved in some shady stuff
new American kid at British boarding school is the actual premise not just a fanfic au
Nostalgic, light-hearted, funny, and kinda cheesy but I will accept no criticism
The Alienist (2018 -now)
Mid 1890s, New York
Woman’s private detective agency (Season 2)
Serial killer mystery
Woman secretary turns detective and teams up with a criminal psychiatrist and a newspaper editor to solve crime
TW: violence, child pr*stit*tion
Cast: Dakota Fanning, Luke Evans, Daniel Bruhl
The Queen’s Gambit (2020)
Woman chess prodigy
1950s & 1960s
TW: drug & alcohol abuse
Gentleman Jack (2019 - now)
Based on the diaries of Anne Lister
Victorian Yorkshire, England
Upper-class lesbians
Confident, suit wearing! Anne Lister x shy! Ann Walker
Business woman! Anne running the family mines
Cast: Suranne Jones (Doctor Foster) & Sophie Rundle (Peaky Blinders)
TW: violence
Gilmore Girls (2000-2007)
bubbly/ambitious single mom + intelligent daughter
bookworm! Rory Gilmore gets into a prestigious private school and then an Ivy League college
Small town drama is comedic gold
Fast dialogue packed with pop culture and literary references
Comforting & nostalgic
TEAM JESS
Anne with an E (2017-2019)
Loose adaptation of L.M. Montgomery’s ‘Anne of Green Gables’ books
they completely change the plot lines but it’s still very good content!
Orphan girl with trauma and a love of books/poetry is adopted by an elderly brother & sister duo, bringing light and fresh ideas to a rural community
Feminism, girls writing club, lgbtq safe spaces, girls eduction, black/indigenous representation
Miss Stacy as THAT inspiring teacher
Aunt Josephine’s lavish gay parties have my heart
TW: creepy male teacher tries to marry a student, racial discrimination, indigenous assimilation school
Victoria (2016-2019)
Adaption of Queen Victoria’s life
Victoria navigating her political, royal, and personal life
Albert’s involvement with The Great Exhibition, 1851 (on cultural + industrial innovations)
Alfred Paget x Edward Drummond is exquisite
Gorgeous costumes and aesthetics
TW: bury your gays trope
Derry Girls (2018-now)
1990s Northern Ireland during the troubles
Comedy, episodes 20-25 mins long
English boy sent to an all girls Catholic school with his cousin
✨Dead Poets Society parody episode ✨with a free-spirited female teacher
Sister Michael, the sarcastic nun who hates her job & reads the exorcist for giggles
Wee anxious lesbian! Clare Devlin (plus her friends wearing rainbow pins)
Badass with bad ideas! Michelle Mallon
Main Character! Erin Quinn
Lovable weirdo who would fight a polar bear! Orla McCool
Wee English fella & honorary Derry girl! James Maguire
Dickinson (2019-now)
Loose adaption of the poet Emily Dickinson’s life
Set in 19th century Massachusetts, US
Historical drama with modern dialogue & music that works SEAMLESSLY
gives a great understanding of Emily Dickinson’s poems
💕Vintage gays! Emily x Sue💕
Theatre club, writing, poetry, dressing as men to sneak into lectures, love letters, teen drama, feminism, and an underground abolitionist journal as a brief side plot in season 2
Wiz Khalifa plays death in a horse drawn carriage
TW: opium use
A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017-2019)
Based on great childhood books
Bookworm! brother, Inventor! sister, and baby sister with sharp teeth
Mystery, secret organisations, orphaned siblings figuring things out & fending for themselves against the villain after their fortune
Adults either cartoon evil, comedically incompetent, or SPIES
Boarding school, library owner, scientific researcher, and theatre episodes
Ambiguous time period which is really fun to try and pin point
Killing Eve (2018-now)
Classic detective who has homoerotic tension with the assassin she is tracking down
British Detective! Eve Polastri figures out the notorious assassin MI5 are investigating is a woman, is fired & then put on a secret MI6 case with a small team
Assassin! Villanelle, a psychopath with a tragic past and a mastery of both accents & fashion
Woman MI6 boss! Carolyn Martens, head of Russian section
Travel Europe following Villanelle’s killings and escaping the assassins sent by Villanelle’s organisation
‘You’re supposed to be my enemy and moral opposite but omg you’re the only one smart enough to get me and why am I obsessed with you????'
🚨 GO IN FOR A KISS AND THEN STAB YOUR ENEMY 🚨
Cable Girls/Las chicas del cable (2017-2020)
Spanish drama set in 1920s Madrid
Four young women at a telecommunications company form a group of friends and help navigate the difficult situations they are all in
Secret identities, dangerous pasts, murder, crime, lgbtq couple & throuple, trans man character, feminism/suffragists
girls commit crimes for humanitarian reasons and cover! it! up!
UNDERRATED SHOW!!!!
Gorgeous costumes and set
Haven’t finished it yet and I’m catching up
TW: abuse, violence, death
Outlander (2014 - now)
haven’t watched yet but plan to
Woman time travels to Scotland, 1743
Rebel highlanders, pirates, British colonies, American revolutionary war
Time jumps between 18th & 20th century
#CO posts#answered asks#asks#dark academia girls#dark academia recommendations#dark academia recs#dark academia women#dark academia movies#dark academia tv
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Hello! I saw your prompt ask and would like to suggest Bering and Wells from Warehouse 13, at pride! Imagine Helena seeing that for the first time... must feel at bit overwhelming, right? (No worries if this isn't something you'd like to write!)
Okay, but yeah. Pride is very overwhelming--our local one is not a parade but a fest. I went once and had, like, six panic attacks. It was great. 10/10. Would recommend. Helena would definitely love it, too. Especially since I bet she caught a lot of flack back in her own time for her [gestures vaguely to all of HG].
Also, so sorry for taking so long to get this written! RL has been off the rails and then I also got caught up rewatching Warehouse 13. Why is it that I always forget how addictive the ‘verse is between watches?
----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----
“These people are very colorful,” Helena commented as she and Myka walked through the crowd together. Pete and Claudia were coming into the event from the opposite end. Between the two pairs of agents, they should be able to catch the artifact-user who had, predictably, ran when they had been closing in. “What are they celebrating?”
“Oh, um,” Myka stammered. Helena was still new, both to the Warehouse and to this time. While Helena was definitely not the typical Victorian woman, there hadn’t been any reason for this particular topic to come up yet. As a man skated by wearing rainbow booty shorts, a tanktop declaring that he liked bears, and a bisexual pride flag tied around his neck like a cape, Myka decided to say it. If Helena was going to have a problem, it would be better for Myka’s heart to know before whatever was building between them got much further. “It’s Pride. They’re celebrating... well, they’re celebrating being alive, and being who they are.”
“And those are achievements?” Helena asked, only idle curiosity in her voice.
Myka thought that she was watching the women currently stopped beside a booth selling pins and buttons. One of them was crouched next to a stroller decked out in ribbons of each color of the rainbow as she rubbed sunblock on the fussy toddler within. The other woman was drinking from a pink and orange water bottle.
“In this case, yes,” Myka replied. Helena looked back at her. “Pride celebrates the LGBT-Plus community.”
“LGBT-Plus?”
“Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Trans,” Myka explained as she held Helena’s widening gaze, “and all the other ways to be queer, too. That’s what the plus stands for. Otherwise, the acronym gets very long and difficult to remember, let alone say.”
Finally, Helena turned away. She took a few steps up the lane. Her eyes darted from one booth to another. She looked at all the people decked out in so many different color combinations. She looked at the couples and groups and all the children. Myka didn’t say anything as the other woman processed what she was seeing.
“They don’t have to hide?” Helena asked finally, turning back towards Myka. Her eyes sparkled in the sunlight with something that might be tears. Helena’s voice wobbled slightly as she continued. “They can... they can just be?”
“There are still some people who complain,” Myka said, “but yes. They don’t have to hide.” She stepped closer as Helena raised a hand to cover her mouth, clearly overwhelmed. Helena was looking around the crowd again, like she still couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Trusting her gut, Myka whispered, “You don’t have to hide.”
Helena turned back once more. Her hands came up to cup Myka’s face. It was definitely tears making her eyes sparkle. Their faces were close enough that they were sharing the same breath.
“I would really like to kiss you right now,” Helena said against Myka’s lips. “May I?”
“You may.”
And they did, right there in the middle of the main market street of Pride Fest, surrounded by a living rainbow of color.
#Magi Responds#'Huh' is a Valid Answer#Fanfiction#Warehouse 13#Myka Bering#Helena G. Wells#Myka Bering/HG Wells#Texty Mess#Pride Fest#First Kiss
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Lost in the Shadows - Chapter 17
AO3
Taglist: @nott-the-best @foxglove-airmid @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @justanormaldemon @styxdrawings @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised
Previous Chapter: Chapter 16
Next Chapter: Chapter 18
Lucie spent the rest of the afternoon in the garden trying to figure out how to do magic. It didn’t help that she had no idea what she was doing or how magic worked and instead she was just trying some methods she remembered from her favorite books. So far, nothing happened. After some time, Jessamine came outside to watch.
‘What are you doing?’ she asked.
‘Trying to do magic,’ Lucie answered, a little frustrated with her lack of progress. ‘You don’t happen to have any clue how that works?’
Jessamine looked shocked. ‘About magic? Of course not, why would you think such a thing. I’m a good Christian.’
Lucie guessed she should have suspected such a thing. ‘Jess, in all the time that you’ve been here, was I the only one who could see you?’
Jessamine thought for a while.
‘Actually, no,’ she said. ‘There was someone else, years ago. The sister of Mr. Gray. She travelled to the manor shortly after my death, to express her condolences to my family, and she could see me and spoke to me.’
Mr. Gray’s sister… Her mother couldn’t see ghosts, but perhaps she was somehow distantly related to his woman and to Jessamine’s old suitor through her mother. Perhaps that power did travel in families.
‘And was there anything else she could do?’ Lucie asked.
‘I don’t know,’ Jessamine said. ‘Mr. Gray always thought his sister was odd, occupied with things not suitable for a young lady. She rarely came to balls, even if she was old enough to be out and looking for suitors. But he thought discussing what his sister was up to would be inappropriate for the proper ladies present, such as myself.’
‘She must have been a witch too then,’ Lucie speculated.
Jessamine looked horrified. ‘Witches don’t really exist, do they? Mr. Gray’s sister was certainly odd, everyone knew that, but I never thought she could be a witch.’
‘Jess, you’re literally a ghost. And I can see you and speak with you, just like Mr. Gray’s sister did. When I’m near you can pick up hair brushes, which you normally can’t.’
‘All this time, you’ve been bewitching me?’ Jessamine asked, her voice small.
‘No, not like that,’ Lucie said. ‘That wasn’t something I did intentionally, and I never forced you into anything. Although I’m thinking maybe I could. Jess, my friend is in danger and I need to save him. Are you willing to help me?’
Jessamine looked reluctant. ‘What will you do to me?’
‘Just test a few things, figure out what I can do,’ Lucie said. ‘I’ve always made you stronger, I have no idea what you could do with my help.’
She looked down, resigned. ‘Alright, Lucie. I will see what I can do. What is it that you ask of me?’
Lucie looked around, and noticed a stick lying on the ground.
‘Can you pick that up?’ she asked, pointing.
Jessamine looked confused, but bent down and picked up the stick, holding it in her hands. Usually, ghosts could pick up things they cared for around her. In Jessamine’s case, hairbrushes and dolls. Lucie didn’t think Jessamine cared much for sticks.
‘That looks odd,’ Thomas, who was sitting in a garden chair next to Alastair, commented. ‘Like you just made the stick float.’
‘Yes,’ Lucie said. ‘But that’s not exactly helpful, is it? Jessamine, can you touch Thomas? Usually you’d pass through him.’
Jessamine dropped the stick and rubbed her hand even if there was no dirt remaining on her ghostly form. She walked over to Thomas, who'd stood up out of his chair, and shook his hand, curtsying politely. Thomas yelped, which indicated that he could feel her. Interesting.
‘Do gentlemen not kiss a lady’s hand anymore?’ Jessamine asked.
Thomas turned red, and lifted his hand up, taking Jessamine’s hand with him, and kissed her. To Lucie, this looked relatively normal, but Thomas couldn’t see Jessamine. This had to be awkward. Jessamine let go of Thomas’ hand.
‘It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, sir,’ Jessamine said.
Lucie repeated Jessamine’s words to Thomas.
‘Ah, it is a pleasure to meet you too, miss,’ Thomas said, looking over her head instead of at her.
Lucie sometimes wondered if Thomas got neck cramps from having to look down whenever he was talking to other people.
Jessamine let go of Thomas’ hand. ‘In my day, the gentlemen certainly had better manners,’ she snorted.
Lucie started laughing. ‘Jessamine is not impressed by your manners, Tom,’ she said.
Thomas turned an even deeper red. ‘I am terribly sorry, miss, that my manners are not up to your standard. Wait, is she still there?’
Jessamine scoffed. ‘I’ll never understand the gentlemen of this century. If you can call them that. People are so contradictory. I always felt like public displays of affection are frowned upon nowadays, especially between gentlemen, even if they are very close friends. But your two gentlemen seem to be very affectionate and improper with each other.’
Lucie started laughing. She suspected Jessamine had seen Alastair and Thomas kiss each other the other day, she’d seemed very shocked by it, but Lucie didn’t realize she’d interpreted them as having a very intimate friendship. Some decades before Jessamine lived, such a thing had been more normalized though, known as the romantic friendship. Although Lucie suspected at least some of those “romantic friendships” were really concealed gay relationships. ‘Oh no, that is not considered normal in this day, but Alastair and Thomas are not simply close friends.’
Jessamine looked absolutely horrified and Lucie decided to change the subject. She did not feel like discussing sexuality with a ghost from the Victorian era, she didn’t think that conversation would end without anyone getting hurt or offended.
‘What did she say?’ Thomas asked.
‘Jess is very confused about the gentlemen of this day. Usually they are not so affectionate towards each other as you are with Alastair,’ Lucie summarized.
‘I,’ Alastair announced, ‘am very glad to live in this day and age and not whatever century this lady must have been from.’
Lucie could imagine, the modern day might still be a mess but she would certainly prefer it over being a 19thcentury lady. She imagined she would have married young, a gentleman she’d thought she was fond of, but didn’t really feel romantic attraction to, and then she’d be trapped. That wouldn’t happen to her main character Eloise though. Eloise and Mabel would find a way, although of course writing a story about a sapphic couple in the 19th century had its limitations in their happy ending.
‘So Jess can touch objects and people who don’t see her,’ Lucie continued. ‘Anyone has any other ideas?’
‘Could you make her visible to us?’ Alastair asked.
‘Jess, show yourself,’ Lucie said.
Jessamine frowned. ‘I don’t know how to do that.’
Nothing happened, at least not that Lucie could tell.
‘She looks a lot like I pictured her,’ Thomas said.
‘I thought her hair would be darker,’ Alastair commented. ‘I don’t think bleach for hair existed back then, and I’m pretty sure no one has hair that’s naturally this light.’
‘I think it depends on where you’re from,’ Thomas said. ‘Light blonde hair is more common in Northern Europe.’
Cordelia snorted. ‘Just because you used to bleach your hair, does not mean everyone who is blonde does the same.’
Thomas frowned. ‘You bleached your hair?’
‘I dyed it back to black, and it’s mostly grown out now,’ Alastair said. ‘It was too much effort to maintain, I had to touch up the roots every four weeks. It looked good though.’
‘It did not look good,’ Cordelia commented. ‘He looked like a turnip.’
Lucie’s eyes went wide. It worked. They were seeing Jessamine. Lucie was feeling a little faint, but did not let it distract her.
‘Come on, pay attention. You’re looking at a ghost for the first time in your life, isn’t that more interesting than Alastair’s hair?’ Lucie shouted.
‘Almost,’ Thomas said. ‘Have you seen Alastair’s hair?’
Alastair rolled his eyes. ‘Let’s pay attention to the ghost. Alright, blonde people are real. And her dress is very nice, I always liked the bustle style.’
‘You can see me?’ Jessamine’s smile lit up. ‘Oh this wonderful. It is such a long time since a gentleman has been able to see me. And it is a lovely dress, I had it made when I visited Paris with my mama.’
She pronounced Paris the way the French did. Lucie knew Jessamine loved to talk about her gowns, although she wasn’t fond of modern clothes. She wore a green day dress with a bustle, something Lucie imagined was a bit unpractical. So many layers. Not to mention the corset.
Alastair looked up thoughtfully. ‘How long do you imagine she’ll stay visible, Lucie?’ he asked. ‘What about if you step away from here? Go inside?’
Lucie took several steps away from Jessamine, taking hold of the door to open it.
‘She’s gone,’ Thomas said.
Lucie turned around and walked to Jessamine. ‘What about now?’ she asked.
‘Nothing,’ Cordelia said. ‘I think once she disappears, you need to ask her to become visible again.’
‘Show yourself,’ Lucie repeated.
‘There she is,’ Alastair said. ‘She looks surprisingly human. I always thought ghosts would be more transparent like in movies.’
‘If they were, do you think I would have mistaken ghosts for living people?’ Lucie asked. ‘If you look carefully, ghosts have a bit of a shimmer but beyond that they look just like people.’
‘Living people, that is,’ Jessamine said. ‘I consider myself a person still, thank you very much.’
‘Of course you are a person,’ Thomas confirmed, indicating that he could hear as well as see her. ‘It is odd to think you’ve been here for such a long time, and always invisible.’
‘It has been very difficult,’ Jessamine said. ‘For a long time, no one could see me until Lucie came here. And modern times are so confusing. Why do ladies wear clothes that reveal their ankles at all times? Worse, the knees? In my day, the occasional ankle slip was to be expected, of course, but visibility of the calves and knees was unheard of. Have people lost all sense of propriety?’
‘Because it’s more practical to not wear floor length dresses all the time,’ Lucie said. ‘Also, no one cares about ankles nowadays. Or knees.’
Lucie did like wearing dresses and skirts, but didn’t like them too long. She was short and therefore the hem always dragged over the ground, which meant she either tripped over the skirt or got it dirty when she wore it outside.
‘But it’s so improper,’ Jessamine insisted, horrified. ‘How could people just stop caring about such things? If this continues, it will not be long until humans go out with no clothes at all and society will fall into chaos.’
‘Now that is generally frowned upon,’ Alastair said. ‘I do not expect that to happen anytime soon.’
‘It would be uncomfortable,’ Cordelia added. ‘And also very cold. The point of clothes is to stay warm.’
‘Does anyone have an idea on how to open a gateway to the land in between?’ Lucie asked. ‘Because that is different from what I can ask of ghosts.’
Cordelia frowned. ‘Maybe you could ask Jessamine.’
‘Jess, can you open a gateway to the land in between for me?’ Lucie asked.
Jessamine frowned. ‘I’m sorry, I do not understand what you ask of me.’
That wasn’t it, then. Lucie guessed opening the gateway was something she’d have to do herself. Making Jessamine visible, that was also something she did, she commanded it and Jessamine could not do it without her. Then perhaps it was about commanding.
‘Or you could ask for a gateway,’ Thomas suggested.
‘Like, open sesame?’ Lucie asked.
‘Be specific,’ Alastair added. ‘What is it that you want to happen? Perhaps Thomas is right, perhaps all you have to do is ask.’
Lucie tried to remember what Grace said, that her magic was dark magic. Perhaps she needed to ask the darkness, or shadows, or something like it? Grace had hinted at this too. Careful what you wish, you just might get it.
‘Darkness, open a gateway to the land in between that is only open to myself, Thomas Lightwood, and Alastair and Cordelia Carstairs,’ Lucie said, remembering to be detailed. Perhaps that was what Grace had warned her about, that what she asked for would happen but not the way she’d intended. ‘A gateway that will not close until all four of us made it back safely to our world.’
It didn’t look like a gateway exactly. There was just a hint of shadow, and when it touched Lucie her friends disappeared. There were no ruins here, the change was subtle beyond her friends being gone. The air was just a touch darker, the breeze a little colder. Some of the color had faded, the grass was a bit duller. There was a fog hovering above the ground. The house was still there, but from here she should be able to see her father’s car and that was gone.
Cordelia, Thomas and Alastair appeared beside her, Cordelia with cortana in hand.
‘I don’t see any ruins,’ Thomas commented.
‘I think the land in between is layered over our land,’ Lucie said. ‘So perhaps to find those ruins, I need to open a portal around where the ruins are. Or I guess we could walk there, but then we’d leave a portal open here and we’d have to walk all the way back once we find it in this world.’
‘I imagine you could open another portal,’ Alastair said. ‘But finding the place the ruins should be in our world and then opening a portal is likely safer. Come, we should get back. This place doesn’t feel right.’
Alastair had a point. Lucie looked around to the way back. In their own world, the gateway looked like a shadow. Here it was a ray of light in an otherwise dark and gloomy environment. She watched her friends step into the light and disappear and then Lucie followed.
The four of them were back in the normal world, her parents both in the garden, concerned. The gate of darkness disappeared behind her. Lucie had asked it not to close until all of them were back, she guessed on its own it didn’t stay open for long and would close if she didn’t stop it. She made a mental note of that, she didn’t want to have to open another portal while they were being attacked by something. The portal closing behind her while all four of them were back was a good way to make sure nothing else came through.
She was feeling a bit more faint than before, light headed. She should have expected using magic would come at a price, but perhaps it was like exercise and she could improve her magic stamina.
‘Where did you just come from?’ Tessa asked.
Lucie looked around for help, but figured since this was her power she was to explain it. She started with Grace visiting again, with her telling her that she had more power than she knew and that she could open a gate.
‘I figured out how to do it,’ Lucie concluded. ‘So we can go into the woods and find Grace’ skin.’
‘Are you sure you don’t want us to come along?’ Will asked.
Lucie considered it, but it was a long time since her father had fought anything and her mother had barely any experience. It wouldn’t be safer with them there. Cordelia had a sword, Lucie was the only one who could open the gateway, and Grace seemed under the impression that it was also necessary for Alastair to come, that his memory would be essential. At least one person with the sight would also be useful.
‘I think it’s better if you didn’t,’ Lucie said. ‘But there’s something else you could do in the meantime. According to Cordelia and Alastair, their father has lots of notebooks from their ancestors, and one must have described a witch similar to me. Perhaps you could call Elias, or uncle Jem, and ask for them.’
Will frowned. ‘Do you think Elias would help us now? He was so opposed to Cordelia coming here with us before.’
Cordelia hadn’t been allowed to come at first, but then her mother had moved out and taken her children with her and her father couldn’t stop her anymore. Sona had decided it would be good for both her children to have some time away and had encouraged them to go. Lucie agreed it was unlikely Elias would be any help on his own accord. She couldn’t say she understood him or his relationship with his children well, all she knew was the damage it had done to Alastair and Cordelia.
‘Father does listen to Jem at times,’ Alastair said stiffly. ‘I think perhaps he could reason with him.’
‘I’ve been meaning to call Jem anyway,’ Will said. ‘If you do not return before dinner, we will come looking for you.’
‘I could leave the gate open for you,’ Lucie said. ‘But we cannot be sure about the time. It doesn’t run the same way, we could spend only a couple of hours there and we’d be missing for a whole day. We cannot keep track of time in there.’
‘Dinnertime,’ Will repeated. ‘I won’t blame you if you’re not back, but we will come looking.’
‘Perhaps we should go tomorrow,’ Alastair suggested and Lucie wondered if maybe after this morning, he did not feel up for it and needed rest. ‘I think it is unlikely we will finish before that time, and if we go tomorrow early in the morning, it is far more likely we can finish before dinnertime.’
Lucie had to admit his line of reasoning had merit, even if she was impatient to get out there. Besides, that gave her time to practice. Cordelia returned to her practice with cortana, whereas Lucie tried asking the darkness for other favors. She practiced opening and closing gate. The gateways all worked and did what she asked of them, but it was tiring though. After four more gates Lucie collapsed onto a garden chair and took to watching Cordelia practice, too tired to get up. Perhaps Alastair had a point in postponing going for the skin, and she imagined even if he was feeling better now that he was exhausted after this morning. She’d had a break down on a rare occasion, autism and stubbornness didn’t always go well together, but never as bad as Alastair had. She knew how exhausting it could be.
Cordelia’s stamina had to be a lot better than Lucie’s, because she kept going for a long time and didn’t seem to get tired. She certainly had a weak spot for girls with swords, and Lucie made a note to use that in one of her novels. Cordelia had tied back her dark red hair in a high ponytail, and was wearing a wide shirt tucked into a pair of jean shorts, something a bit more practical than Lucie’s yellow jumpsuit. Well, it was comfortable to walk around in, but a struggle to go to the bathroom. Cordelia had begun to break a sweat, a few drips on her forehead, but that didn’t stop her. Perhaps later she’d want to go swimming to cool down. Thinking of water, Lucie realized she hadn’t drunk anything in a while. And considering Cordelia had been training for some time, she had to be dehydrated.
‘Do you want something to drink?’ Lucie asked.
‘I could use a glass of water,’ Cordelia said. ‘I always forget to drink when I’m training.’
Fortunately, Lucie was there to make sure Cordelia drank enough water. She tended to forget herself too, especially when she was busy writing. Sometimes she’d complain of a headache, only to realize she hadn’t drunk anything since breakfast.
She went inside to find Alastair and Thomas were about to leave, both carrying a bag.
‘Where are you going?’ Lucie asked.
‘Just to the lake,’ Thomas said. ‘We won’t go too far into the lake, but it’s getting too warm pretty much everywhere. Maybe you and Cordelia can join us later when you’re done training.’
‘I’ll ask Cordelia,’ Lucie promised. ‘Have fun, in the meantime.’
She returned outside with two glasses of water, putting one on the table.
‘The boys have gone swimming,’ Lucie said. ‘Thomas said we were welcome to join once we’re done.’
‘Sure,’ Cordelia said. ‘Just let me finish.’
Cordelia went through a few more repeats of her training, and then transformed cortana back into its necklace form.
‘I get tired a lot sooner than you,’ Lucie admitted.
‘I can’t do magic,’ Cordelia said. ‘I have no idea how exhausting opening or closing a gateway is. I imagine it is a lot more work than simply swinging a sword.’
Lucie guessed perhaps that was true, magic ought to have some limitations. If not, then how could Cordelia’s ancestor have defeated the witch from Grace’ story? ‘I’m curious what else I can do. Grace said something about controlling the dead and making them fight, but that seems a bit unethical. Jessamine isn’t a fighter, and I’d never make her fight something on my behalf.’
‘It depends on the situation, I guess,’ Cordelia said. ‘We don’t know what it takes to stop Tatiana and save Thomas.’
‘No, but I do need to draw moral lines for myself,’ Lucie said. ‘I feel bad for that witch from the story, and I don’t want to end up like her. I don’t want us to become enemies.’
Cordelia took her hand. ‘I’ll never become your enemy, Lu.’
‘Then I guess I’ll have to stay on the safe side of that ethical line. I know how easy it can be, to have the end justify the means, but that’s something I’d rather save for my stories.’
#Lucie Herondale#Cordelia Carstairs#Thomas Lightwood#Alastair Carstairs#Jessamine Lovelace#Lucelia#Thomastair#fanfiction#the last hours#tlh
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Hear the sirens, {connor stevens}
synopsis: After the shadow man was defeated their was no new supernatural anomalies in town, then you and your wayward family showed up.
also this gif is lovethephantoms gif but I still can’t figure out why the handle won’t come up underneath the gif.
another female requested reader however when referred to in the writing the pronouns are gender neutral.
This is part one of three!
The Midnight Society had finally settled back into life as it normally was. Gabby had passed her PSAT’s and gotten her permit, still working her way to get out of shadow bay. Hanna still heavily involved in her activism and getting more signatures than before hand on her petitions, making the world a better place even if it was one step, by herself, at a time. Luke back to focusing on school and wrestling, he was still benched for weekend meet for disciplinary due to being late to practice which gave him plenty of time to work on the science project he owed . Jai back to being the comic book nerd his friends loved him as, no longer feeling like he had to own up to any sort of standards when his friends loved him the way he was. Then there was Connor. Who found it harder than his friends to move on, it wasn’t that easy for him. His dad didn’t know what happened so he carried on with the fishing trips like usual. Luke and Hanna had started dating after the glow dance so he was adjusting to his best friend not always being available. While he knew that the shadow man was gone, something in him still felt dark. Like a part of him had been permanently darkened by what he’d been through. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up whenever he walked by cemeteries, or historic settlements of shadow bay. He pushed it all down and acted like nothing happened. But he still slept with the lights on. He still had nightmares most nights.
The Amana family Coven had been around for centuries. It was one of the few that was a female centric coven throughout the dark ages in magic along side the golden ages. The eldest of the coven was Gaia Amana, whose daughter was Leticia Amana, they remain the only two witches in the coven. Leticia married Willow a human woman that had been orphaned in her childhood due to an magical accident claiming her parents. They had two children. Two daughters. One who was a Witch with the gift of clairvoyance. Another who was a Banshee with a generational blood curse.
That Witch, with the clairvoyance? That was you. Your Sister was the Banshee. This was the story of your family and the magic deeply routed throughout your family and bloodline, biological and adoptive. Growing up with magic isn’t a fairytale. You never stayed in one town longer than four years, where there was witches there was hunters who never strayed far.
So anyone who had magic lived by three commandments for protections.
Thou shall not bear the knowledge of magic,
Thou shall not caress a practitioner of magic,
Thou shall not survive a witches love.
By those three commandments your family was able to continue to practice their respective magic without worrying about witch hunts in town. But the times had changed from when your grandmother first took over the coven. It was the twenty first century and spirituality and supernatural abilities were somewhat mainstream, not the truth but the refraction of what was going on. It blurred the lines of what was actually going on. So when it was time for the quadrennial move, your mothers had chosen a small town in Canada. Shadow Bay. There was hardly any supernatural occurrence’s there. With the exceptional of a magic shop but witch hunters had standards so they’d never show up there anyways.
You’d gotten used to the somewhat lonely routine of your life. The moving every four years, the secrets about your magic, while it wasn’t ideal. You loved your magic and you wouldn’t trade your abilities for anything else in the world. But having some solid friends would’ve been a nice start.
The drive wasn’t the longest you’ve ever taken, it also wasn’t the shortest you’ve every taken either. The only difference was that due to getting your license recently your grandmother let you drive her car. You’d lived in a lot of placed over the years. Apartments, ranch, colonial, victorian. Now you were living in a cottage in the woods by a lighthouse. Pulling into the drive you passed a group of six people. Five teens who looked around your age and one who seemed to be younger possibly in middle school.
“Keys are in the mail box.” Your grandmother said, you looked over. “That’s harsh.” You said unbuckling and opening the door to retrieve the keys from the mail box. If the group of teens weren’t staring before they definitely were now. “Can i help you ?” You asked turning around at the group of teens who were like you thought, were staring.
A tall blonde in a leather jacket and all black, A red head wearing an army jacket and docs, A brunnette with curly hair who had a denim jacket on, A tanned brunnette boy wearing street clothes, A pale brunette who had a skateboard not far from his grasp, and a little boy wearing a cap and a wand in his hand.
“Did you just move into the haunted house in the woods?” The brunnette in street clothes asked with zero hesitation. Haunted? “Jai!” The red head exclaimed slapping his arm. The blonde still was staring at you. Like there was this connection flowing between the two of you, you felt it too. “Sorry he has the social skills of a second grader. I’m Hanna Romero.” She said extending a hand towards you. “Y/n Amana.”
“This is Gabby Lewis, that’s Jai Malyas, He’s Luke Mccoy, on the end is Connor Stevens,” So staring boy has a name. “And that’s my little brother Seth.” She said giving a full rollcall for you. “Sorry i just have to ask, the haunted house in the woods?” Jai said not putting his question down. Everyone turned to him and you laughed.
“So you believe in the other side?” You said crossing your arms and raising your eyebrows. The group fell silent for a minute. “Well I mean is there really another side? Maybe all the funs having here.” Connor said smiling at you, lying. You didn’t need magic to know. You just knew the faces of people who’d experienced the supernatural and didn’t know how to explain it afterwards.
“All right then pretty boy.” You said slightly taken aback Connors eyes widened. “Are you going to shadow bay high once you get settled?” Gabby asked you. You nodded, “Yeah my sister and I are suppose to start next week.” Gabby looked at Connor and then back to you, “We could show you both around, give you the old razzle dazzle.” She said. You smiled, “Yeah i’d really appreciate that!”
“No problem! Right Connor?” Gabby said, nudging him. You turned your eyes backed to him. “Yeah no problem at all.” He said running a hand through his hair. You nodded. “I should probably go but i’ll see you guys next week.” You said, each of the teens saying a goodbye to you and you got into the car where your grandmother was waiting, dropping the envelopes with the keys on the dash board.
“Well that looked like a lot more than just getting the keys.” She noted as you started to drive up into the woods. “Just some local kids who offered to show me around when i start and also said our house is the local haunted house in the woods.” You said turning as the road winded. She nodded, “This town is going to be different, you can feel it can’t you?” You could and it gave you butterflies.
That night after dinner you sat up decorating your room. You’d never had your own room before and now you had free creative decisions. You sister knocked on the door holding two cups of tea, “Tea time?” You nodded. You were older by two years, it wasn’t much but sometimes it still managed to wedge a gap between the two of you for certain subjects. She placed your mug down on your desk were you were placing posters up and she sat on your bed. “So Grams said that you were flirting with some outsiders type beat boy earlier.”
You turned taking a sip, “I was not flirting. I might’ve called him pretty boy. But that’s the highest form of flattery rather than flirting if anything!” You said to your sister. “What if you date him? What if you fall in love and have cute babies?” She gushed. “I just met him!” You exclaimed to her turning around, “Oh come on, haven’t you ever wanted to date someone?”
“I don’t date. We move too much besides there’d be too much lying. It would just be heartbreak for me and whoever i’m with.” You said turning your attention back to decorating rather than the conversation. Silence washed over and the question that had been on everyone’s minds was asked once again. “Is it gonna be different here?”
You stalled, exhaling slowly. “You have the gift of clairvoyance, if anything you can tell out of all of us.” She said with excitement. “No i’m not doing it.” You said shutting her suggestion down. “Oh come on!” She persisted.
“Astral projecting isn’t meant for figuring out if we’re going to live out our coming of age fantasies, it’s meant for real magic. I’m not doing it. If any clairvoyant dreams come to me, that’s one thing. I’m not chasing them.” You said breaking down the now empty box that once held pictures, posters and other wall hanging knick knacks. Your sister pouted, “Buzzkill.” She muttered under her breath, “Well were either of the girls cute and give gay vibes?” She asked as she finished her mug and placed it on the floor.
“Ask them yourself. They offered to show us around on our first day. But no powers. If you want a relationship it has to be fully yourself no magic sire ties. Magic sometimes makes it messy.” You said unfortunately speaking from experience. Magic was beautiful but it doesn’t come from nothing, there is a give and a take. Like everything else in the universe.
That night you found it hard to sleep, you usually had issues sleeping the first night in a new town. It was some sort of internal clock routine. You snuck out of the front door, for a house that had been around for as long as it had been it wasn’t the loudest. The floor boards didn’t creak every time you walked over them, the doors didn’t screech whenever you opened them an inch at a time, and the house didn’t settle several times a day. But for all you knew a spell could’ve been casted to prevent that.
You found comfort being on your own. Having clairvoyance was overwhelming at times. You had no control over your powers, they never had a specific trigger, so naturally you just steered clear of people in general. You figured there was no way to be given unwanted visions of the future if you just didn’t have anything to do with anyone at all. Your own loneliness was your own fault. Walking through the woods you felt the feeling of dark magic, it was a distinct feeling that you hadn’t felt often but it was unforgettable when you did. It over takes you, like a wave but instead of being able to see through the water its ink. It’s heavy, and dark. It drags you under.
You hear several snaps of twigs behind you and slightly startled you turn to see the animal or whatever that was behind you. Ready to cast a spell incase whatever followed was a foe and not a friend you gathered your hands in front of your body, “Either you come out or it’s going to be a bad night for you.” You called out into the darkness. Several more twigs snapped under what you assumed where footsteps as a dark shape came out from behind the tree.
“I surrender!” The figured called out with slight fear in their voice. “My hands are up!” The voice sounded so familiar as they neared towards you. Once they were within eye sight you noticed it was one of the boys from earlier, Connor. “ Take it easy there cobra kai.” He said gesturing to your hands which could be assumed in a fighting position, which they were just not the fighting position he thought it would be.
You took your hands away from the stance they were place in front of your body, “So, you enjoy taking walks in the dark and startling people pretty boy?” You asked crossing your arms. He lowered his flashlight so he wasn’t practically blinding you anymore. He laughed lowly for a second, “To be fair with the way i was snapping twigs, if you were startled that sounds like a you deal.”
You smiled at him for second, “I’m Connor Stevens by the way, we met earlier but i don’t know you if remember me.” He said running a hand through his hair, a nervous habit probably. “Oh so you assume that you’re unforgettable. Not a chance pretty boy.” You said taking several steps closer. Slightly taken aback once again by your boldness for the second time in the one day. “I have a name you know.”
“Oh so you don’t find pretty boy flattering?” You asked coyly, going silence after trying to create an argument. “Thought so.” You said smiling. His eyes stayed glued onto you, his dad has taught him better than to stare.
“Sorry, i just keep getting this deja vu feeling but i would definitely remember meeting you.” He said unfiltered getting close enough for you to catch a vision, you back up slightly and he’s hurt by this. It’s written all over his face. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” He apologized quickly and sincerely.
“Oh no i just have this thing with physical touch, it’s nothing personal. You’d remember meeting me? Are you reading into my character?” You said with a slight cockiness mixed into the tone. He nodded, “No it’s just you’re literally one of the prettiest girls i’ve ever seen.” You dropped the flashlight that you’d brought with you. You rushed forward to pick it up as did Connor, both your fingertips grazed each other.
The images flooded through your head. You saw past images first, not older than a month or so. It was dark, he was in the woods running, then there was a book of spells it looked like ever other witches book, and then he was grabbed into the dark. Inside of something that looked like a lighthouse but rotted on the inside and there was absolutely no light. Then there was present, this moment right here right now. The future was the two of you in front of the high school, you guessed. Then it was just the two of you, your aura’s with a red string connecting them at the pinkies. But then it was him holding your hands as something tried to drag you. Then it was over.
You blinked a few times before looking back up at Connor, “Are you okay? You looked like you saw a ghost.” He said with a slight laugh dropping the flashlight into your palm like it was burning him to touch. “Something like that.” You muttered lightly and standing back up. Silence washed over, “I should probably get back home before anyone notices i’m gone.” You said. He nodded, “See you around, cobra kai?”
“See you pretty boy.” You confirmed turning around to walk back to your house for the night. Sneaking back in just as quietly as you left. You managed to fall asleep before the sun rose this time. Once you fell asleep, the visions still lingered on a loop. Despite how much you hated it on a deep level it was comforting compared to the nightmares that had a tendency to plague you from time to time.
The next morning your family had gotten take out from the local diner for breakfast and during the morning conversation no one mentions anything that gives away your nightly adventure. Throughout the rest of the week you and your family continues to get settled into your house. You hadn’t seen Connor on any of your nightly walks through the woods throughout the rest of the week and as the day of starting school gets closer you just assume you’ll see him along with his friends.
Your sister and you were sitting in the office after you’d gotten your schedules and other paperwork. “We have two student volunteers who offered to show you around.” The secretary said as she handed the two of you a peppermint, Slightly disappointed, going under the impression you’d get to hang out with Connor and his friends today. The door creeks open and you turn. Gabby and Hanna enter the office, you notice through the glass pane of the door Luke, Jai and Connor standing in the hallway waiting for them.
“Ah, Hanna Romero and Gabby Lewis. This is Y/n Amana and Ramona Amana.” She said as the two of you stood up. “If you need anything during your next few days don’t hesitate to reach out.” She said sincerely, offering a comforting smile. Your sister and you both exchanged thanks before leaving the office.
You saw Luke nudge Connor to which he muttered a shut up, you smiled. “Nice to see you again pretty boy.” You said smirkingly, Jai looked up from his phone. “Again, you went into the haunted woods?” He said looking at Connor, who blank faced. “Thanks for ratting me out. Besides, there wasn’t anything out there other than Y/n and their fists of fury almost giving me a black eye.” He said punching you lightly in the shoulder, laughing with you.
“What’s the deal with those woods anyway? It seems like everyone has some story about them.” Ramona asked no one specific just wanting a general answer after hearing the endless week of comments. The group went silent, “Okay so like did someone get murdered there. Some true crime type beat?” You asked as you leaned against the wall next to Connor. Leaning your head on his shoulder, he leaned his head on yours after a few moments of hesitation.
“It’s an unbelievable story.” Jai said as he looked at the comic in his hand with a confused look and then closed it, Ramona smirked. “Oh we know a lot about those type of stories.” She said standing next to Gabby. Both were stealing looks when the other wasn’t. “Where are you guy’s from?” Hanna asked with confusion and a slight laugh. “Where aren’t we from.” You said under your breath catching the attraction of the group.
“We’re military, we move a lot.” Ramona said. The cover story that had been engrained into you both from elementary school. “Damn that must suck.” Luke said getting elbowed by Hanna, “I mean thank you for your service.” He corrected himself. You laughed a little as Luke tried to awkwardly save himself. You saluted him, causing Connor to smile.
“Nice bracelets.” Gabby said to Ramona, she looked down at them before looking back up. “Thanks.” She said slightly flustered and blushing. “Mo you should see if you and Gabby have any classes together.” You suggested slightly trying to wing woman. “What? Oh yeah!” She said handing over her schedule eagerly to Gabby. Soon enough the two walked off.
“So, Hanna do you have the list for morning announcements?” Jai said, Hanna met him with a confused look as did Luke. “Announcements? Oh yeah! We’ll see you guys after home room!” As they left Connor and you in the hallway. “Your friends really lack subtly.” You said as you watched them go down the hallway, Hanna arguing with Jai while Luke occasionally looked back.
“Oh you have no idea.” He said turning back to you, “Oh! How do you feel about horror movies?” He asked reaching into his backpack. “Top three movie genre. Why?” You asked, he pulled out a small “slashers rule” pin and handed it you. “A formal apology for scaring you in the woods the other night, and you seemed like you’d like it.” He said gesturing to your backpack decorated with pins and patches, you smiled. “I love it.” His nervousness seemed to fade with those three words. “I’ve never really had friends or anyone give me something like this so, thank you.”
“That must’ve been lonely.” He said as you shrugged, it was lonely but it was also complicated. “Yeah but i’m not lonely anymore.” You said as you subconsciously ran your thumb over the pin and looked up at him. He blushed, you’d learned he did that a lot and quite easily none the less.
“So you ready for the shadow bay tour?” He said pushing off the wall, rubbing his hands together. Students had started to clear out of the halls paying absolutely no attention to Connor and yours’ affair in the corner. “Oh definitely. Just so you know i’ve been to four schools over the past eleven years, so you’re competing with that.”
“Oh it’s a competition?” He said with fake outburst laced onto his voice, you nodded with a sarcastic smile that turned genuine. “I think i can handle that.” He said as you two began descending down the halls of Shadow Bay high. Despite your own personal barriers and everything you’d ever been taught in your life, you were falling for Connor. Your better judgement knew that you’d pay for that at some point in your life. Sooner or later, you always did.
--
hello my loves! This is part one of three and i’m currently working on the other parts!
#are you afraid of the dark#ayaotd#are you afraid of the dark imagine#are you afraid of the dark x reader#connor stevens imagine#connor stevens x reader#luke mccoy#gabby lewis#hanna romero#jai malyas#the midnight society
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since i havent put this on tumblr yet, i propose the nichest crossover i have ever made:
paper girls and bbc ghosts. if u dont know the premise for ghosts, basically erin moves into a big old house the same way as alison did blah blah mysterious family death inheritance etc. possibly with missy, because it's fun to have someone in the house who cant see ghosts (sorry mike). so they're just trying to fix the fucked up old falling apart house, there are builders round, etc, until one day, oh no! she gets shot in the stomach in a mugging or an accident or something (except she doesnt get healed by bugs this time it's just the hospital). she spends some time in hospital while the ghosts continue to try and hopelessly scare missy out of the house. in the accident, erin dies for a moment - but the doctors manage to bring her back to life before she's actually gone, and she heals up pretty well. on the car ride home, she notices some oddly dressed people.
when she gets inside, honestly wanting to lie down (except there are builders everywhere trying to do something about the ceiling beams or whatever), there's a young woman, possibly a trainee, who should be wearing a hard hat. she tells her to put one on, and goes on with her day.
oh fuck, oh no, it was a ghost. that ghost just reported back to the other ghosts that she saw me she spoke to me!! and now the others are here and oh my god that one just walked through a wall and that ones got blood all down their shirt and oh my god i'm going insane.
anyway etc etc, the first 2 episodes of ghosts except its paper girls. there are 9 ghosts in the show, and obviously i'm going to have mac, tiff, and kj, but i could put in characters like wari and qanta to make it more interesting? the 3 main ghost girls all died when they were about teenagers just to keep it less confusing (i know that's sad)
mac is a paperboy from the 40s or 50s. she dresses as a boy so she could get the job, with short ginger hair and a jacket. she has an irish accent in this, mostly because that's cool, and also because her family moved from ireland to wherever the house is, probably america?? but i also want it to be england bc i know pg isnt set there but i know more about english history #sorry. it could just be ambiguous but england has some funky ghost ideas. ANYWAY still deciding if she dies from cancer or not i think probably but that makes it difficult for her to have died in a massive house like that (bc you stay wherever you die)?? bc she'd have probably died in her own home?? idk im thinking
tiffany is a lineworker (for telephone poles and stuff) from the 1890s who got electrocuted on the job (@/goatgeminipearl on twitter had the electrocution idea). she's wearing her uniform, jumpsuit and hat with lots of hooks and tools and harnesses and stuff attached to her belt, and big old safety gloves. her hair is tied back and she looks a little charred. i have some ideas for her ghostly powers! when erin arrives and installs a tv, she has no idea what the monitor does but sees the plugs like oh! i know what these cables do! and suddenly finds out she can appear through the wires in the tv screen, horror-movie style. kj screams. she could jumpscare people if she wanted. you feel that lightning storm sensation whenever she's near, and you feel static shocks if you accidentally pass through her
kj i'm not quite settled on. em on twitter had that one idea about a victorian au where kj is an aristocrat who hates being an aristocrat and she plans to run away with mac and it's cute as fuck, so that's an option. i really cannot decide on her death. she has the vibes of a really shakespearean death, like a poisoning or stabbing out of revenge. maybe she didnt want to marry some guy, or got assassinated just because of beef between families. i think she died in her room, and appears in her victorian pjs or something, being able to be seen in mirrors. or, to flip it completely, she was trying to kill someone else, like how she killed one of the three men in the comic, except maybe his friends got back at her this time. i like to think she was getting justice, or doing it to protect someone. maybe she had a secret gay thing going on like captain did, and when someone hurt the girl she loved, she sought revenge
anyway holy shit i wrote a lot sorry to anyone who went through the trouble of reading it all i love you. please please if you have any more ideas let me know!! i'm way too excited about this mwah
#paper girls#image comics#mackenzie coyle#kj brandman#erin tieng#tiffany quilkin#mac coyle#bbc ghosts#papergirls au
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I posted 2,565 times in 2021
331 posts created (13%)
2234 posts reblogged (87%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 6.7 posts.
I added 2,915 tags in 2021
#queue of mischief - 1271 posts
#loki - 615 posts
#lokius - 206 posts
#tom hiddleston - 190 posts
#videos - 148 posts
#asks ho! - 136 posts
#loki spoilers - 94 posts
#text. - 89 posts
#art - 85 posts
#crimson peak - 81 posts
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#a friend of mine mentioned how we didn't need another 'suit-wearing-dorian-gray-wannabe-twink-with-a-daddy-complex' and i took that personal
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
Tom Hiddleston may not have taken home the Tony Award but he's definitely won our hearts.
23 notes • Posted 2021-09-27 00:48:47 GMT
#4
Today I read A Doll's House by Henrik Ibsen and I am absolutely in love with the fact that, for a 19th century play, the female lead stood up to her husband, told him to fuck off, packed her shit and left because "how dare you think of me as some frivolous child rather than a woman". Meanwhile, Dr. Rank, practicing physician and longtime family friend (who for a second I thought was having an affair with the husband), tearily professes his love onto her before... leaving to die? Just, straight up. Leaves a gay little notecard with a black cross by his name and fucks off.
"I love you as much as he but I have back problems so I'm going to go die now. Peace out."
This is by no means an exaggeration. This man lived up to the role of Victorian damsel and honestly I'm living for the subversion of gender roles and expectations. Read it was wholly unintentional on the playwright's behalf which makes it all the more hilarious.
Anyway, while reading this I decided that any future adaptation of this play must absolutely cast Tom Hiddleston as Doctor Rank because we all know that man has the "delicately featured, elegant, 'I'm constantly two seconds away from crying because I know no other emotion than romantic love', Victorian gentleman" vibe down pat.
23 notes • Posted 2021-09-18 01:20:04 GMT
#3
The best scene in Crimson Peak will always be the bit where Edith asks Thomas if anyone has ever died in the manor and Thomas just baronet.exe has stopped working before going "oh well you know how it is haha you know shit happens all the time place is old we all have skeletons in our closets not mine tho i didn't put any there i don't know what you're talking about".
58 notes • Posted 2021-10-11 23:23:11 GMT
#2
READY TO GO ROUND TWO WITH THE BLUE.
66 notes • Posted 2021-02-10 23:01:50 GMT
#1
Tom Hiddleston at the 74th Annual Tony Awards Red Carpet
92 notes • Posted 2021-09-26 22:38:11 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
Considering I only started using tumblr again around... July??? This tracks. This tracks hard.
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The Glorious Queer Potential of Viola and Orsino in Twelfth Night
for Shakespeare Appreciation Week - Day Three - Lovers Day
This is a long-promised essay/ramble and I’m chucking it under Lover’s Day because it mostly concerns Viola and Orsino. I suppose an alternate title for it could be Orsino: He’s as Queer as the Rest of Them.
Before we begin, brief caveat: queerness exists in many forms and means many things to many people. This is my reading as one (1) singular queer person. Also, as you will have noticed if you read this far, I’m using the word queer. Not only is it an academically accepted term and one of my personal identifiers, it is in many cases the best descriptor for people and relationships in a play written in a time where gender and sexuality were constructed differently than they are today. Am I going to use the word “bisexual” when I talk about Orsino? Probably. But overall, the play’s just queer, in terms of gender, sexual attraction, and social relationships.
Let’s start with Viola (another heads up, I’m going to refer to her mostly as Viola because that’s how she seems to think about herself, and I’m going to use she/her pronouns). I believe @shredsandpatches recently made an argument that Viola can be read as a trans woman, which is an argument I love—she’s clearly uncomfortable with her masculine disguise (“Disguise, I see, thou art a wickedness, / Wherein the pregnant enemy does much. / How easy is it for the proper-false / In women's waxen hearts to set their forms!”) but she also passes as a man marvelously well. Like, people make a few comments about her higher voice, but nobody actually seems to suspect that she’s a woman until she’s finally in the same place as Sebastian and everyone goes “twins?!” Viola being a trans woman would also make the whole “she and Sebastian are literally identical” thing much more plausible, although one should never let “biological technicalities” get in the way of a good twin plot. I think there are also arguments to be made for playing Viola as a gender nonconforming cis woman who thinks, “It’ll be safer if I just pass as a man”, or with some other relationship to genderqueerness. (And by the way, when I say “arguments to be made”, sometimes that can mean the argument is “I, a queer person, feel like playing Viola this way.” Sometimes you just gotta do it for the queer joy, you know?)
So, Orsino. The two most memorable Orsinos I’ve seen have been Nicholas Bishop in the 2017 RSC production and Oliver Chris in the 2017 National Theatre production (truly we were blessed with Twelfth Nights in 2017). The RSC production chose to look at Orsino and immediately go, “This is not a Straight Man” which was valid of them—from the get-go, you understand why Orsino might go for a person who’s got some excellent gender-fuckery going on. In the NT production, Orsino is much more of a jock and, to my interpretation, definitely Thinks He’s Straight, which is fun because you get to see his heterosexuality crumble before his very eyes. (The moment where Viola reveals herself as a woman and Orsino lets out a long “oh thank God” breath can read a little too close to “no homo” for my liking, but Oliver Chris is good at making even asshole characters weirdly endearing, so I will let it pass.)
With both of these productions, you also have to consider the era they’re set in: the RSC is in the Victorian era, the NT in the 1970s (I think. I’m pretty sure it’s the 70s. Could be the 60s?) In the RSC, one could infer that Orsino’s commitment to getting Olivia to love him stems from the homophobia of the society he’s living in. Would he love to be able to just get with men? Sure. But the odds of him getting away with that for his entire life are low. The show’s design really makes this production Shakespeare-by-way-of-Wilde: the sets, the costumes (especially Antonio, who’s literally wearing a green carnation in his lapel). By evoking Wilde and his persecution, the production reminds the viewer that plenty of the people in this play—Antonio, Olivia, Viola, Orsino—can’t show the outside world their true queer selves, however much they might want to be.
Now, the NT production’s version of Orsino reads to me very much like someone going through a bisexual awakening. Source: I have undergone a bisexual awakening and I took one look at Orsino in this production and went *John Mulaney voice* “Oh, okay.” To me, Oliver Chris’s Orsino is going through the motions of compulsive heterosexuality. By all accounts, he should be in love with Olivia. It makes sense to him. He knows all the motions to go through. He’s talked himself into loving her because that’s what you do when you feel you need to be visibly in love with a woman and she’s the most suitable person around.
But once Orsino meets Viola, he seems to immediately adore her, in his own bro way, for herself. This isn’t what he’s used to attraction being like, he doesn’t immediately recognize it because Cesario is a guy, sometimes guys are just friends with other guys and do a lot of homoerotic boxing practice (still not over it) and it’s just dudes being bros and chilling on a table at your fortieth birthday part five feet apart because you’re not gay (spoiler: you’re actually really gay, and by gay I mean pick your favorite flavor of polysexual queerness).
Orsino continues to refer to Viola as Cesario up until the end of the play, mostly because Viola is still wearing men’s clothes. In early modern England, clothes were a huge part of gender expression. Cross-dressing was against the law (I’m 99% sure, someone please correct me on this if I’m wrong; it’s been several years since I discussed queer early modern stuff in a formal setting). Orsino referring to Viola as Cesario even when he knows she’s a woman is one of those things that has a reasonable historic explanation, but can also be read nowadays as: he likes it. Orsino’s into genderqueerness, and good on him. Genderqueerness is attractive as hell.
I know we sometimes lament the end of Twelfth Night along the lines of “But Will! Tell us what the original super-gay ending was!!” I totally understand why people want to see Olivia and Viola wind up together (Olivia—another raging queer who I didn’t even get to in this ramble—does seem to be truly in love with Viola and it’s hard to leave her disappointed at the end of the play), and I think we’re all heartbroken for Antonio (he just loves Sebastian so MUCH). However, I want to point out that men and women can still have queer romantic relationships with each other. A love story between Viola as a straight trans woman and Orsino as a bisexual cis man is still a queer love story.
Happy Lovers Day, my loves! Have a fabulously queer day.
#theplaysthething2020#twelfth night#shakespeare#viola x orsino#harry-leroy#mg says stuff#queer ramblings
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when you look at me with those eyes (i’m speechless)
summary: virgil finally manages to ask out the pretty enby in his class, just in time for his father's epic gala event. sadly, neither of them would know fashion if it bit them in the ass. luckily, they both have friends to help them out.
(OR: almost 3k words of analogical being useless fluffy gays)
wordcount: 2934
ships: romantic analogical, background romantic roceit, background queerplatonic intruality, background romantic remile
cw: cursing
read it on ao3!!
“So, uh, wh - what do you say?”
Logan looks up from their desk, homework long forgotten. Their left hand is stretched out to cover the little doodle they’d been doing of the back of Virgil’s head, and now Virgil himself is standing in front of them, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly and looking anywhere except at Logan. He’s still wearing that patchwork purple plaid hoodie, and for some reason the only thing Logan can think of is that it’s definitely a violation of their school uniform.
Virgil’s eyes skitter back to their face, skipping from their shoulder to their chest to their neck to their cheek. Their eyes meet for a moment, Virgil’s illuminated by the afternoon sunshine pouring in, and Logan forgets how to breathe. Virgil’s pink face gets even pinker, and his eyes settle on a point fixed above Logan’s shoulder.
“Are you just gonna stare at me?” he snaps. “If you’re gonna reject me, just -”
“No!” Logan blurts. Virgil’s shoulders jump up to his ears, and Logan stands so fast their chair falls over behind them. “I - I mean - I’m not rejecting you, I - um - yes! Yes, I - I’d love to! That is to say - I - uh -”
Virgil laughs a little, reaching out and tucking a stray curl of Logan’s hair behind their ear. They hadn’t even noticed that wisps had started escaping their high ponytail, but Virgil just smiles at them. “Cool,” he says.
“Yes,” Logan breathes. “It - it is, objectively, quite ‘cool’.”
“The event’s on Saturday night.” Virgil’s fingers tuck their hair behind their ear, gently tracing down the curve of their neck and sliding up to touch their jaw. “Pick you up around six PM or so?”
Logan swallows, and they’re sure Virgil can hear it but he gives no indication if he did. “That - that sounds optimal.” They cringe inwardly - optimal? What the hell? - but Virgil just laughs and slides his hand up to cup their cheek.
“You keep busting out all those smart-person words and I’m gonna have to kiss you before I buy you dinner, and that’s not very nice of me.” His hand drops from Logan’s face, and it takes all their willpower not to scream for him to put it back. He gently picks up their hand, lifting it to his bitten-raw lips and gently pressing a kiss to the back. “That’ll have to hold you over until then.”
He turns and saunters away, and Logan grips the edge of their desk. They almost sit down on the chair they’d knocked over, catching themselves at the last second. Looking around the empty classroom, they catch sight of themselves reflected in the windows. They’d opted for a mixture of the uniforms today, wearing the boys’ shirt, vest, and tie over the girls’ skirt, knee-high stockings, and shoes. Their hair is tightly tied back with a plain hair tie, no ribbon, only one curl out of place where Virgil had tucked it behind their ear.
They don’t typically dress themselves for much other than school (uniform), work (uniform), or home (casual clothing). They have no idea what they should wear for a date. Their phone buzzes on the desk, and they snatch it up quickly, flipping it open to see a message from Virgil.
(They’d forgotten he had their number, from that project they did together last month.)
You have: One! New message!
FROM: Virgil
hey, forgot to tell u - this gala is like, a bfd for my dads’ company, so dress up! like its prom or smthn, or a wedding
Logan exhales, gathering up their school things and shoving them into their bag with an uncharacteristic haphazardness. This is going to require . . . outside intervention.
(Meanwhile, a few doors down, Virgil slams the door to his own classroom, shoves his face into his hands, and lets out the quietest feral screech he can manage. Derek, seated on the teacher’s desk with Roman pulled up between his legs, raises a single eyebrow.
“Is that a screech of success or a screech of failure, Virgil?”)
*~*~*~*~*
“What does one wear on a ‘fancy date’? I have never been to a wedding or a prom, let alone a gala! I do not own anything fancy!” Logan paces around their bedroom, hair hanging loose around their shoulders. Patton is on his back, hanging upside-down off of their bed and flipping through some sort of guitar catalog. Remus is curled up in Logan’s desk chair with some sort of slime in his hand. “Remus, if you get slime on my belongings I will end you.”
Remus grins, looking deranged, and Logan resists the childish urge to throw something at him.
“Don’t sweat it, Lo-Lo!” Patton says. “I’ve got a ton of pretty clothes in my room, you can borrow something from me! We’re still the same size, right?”
“I assume so,” Logan says, “but what if I do not look right in your clothing? Our styles are vastly different, I would not wish to present a false impression of myself to him, I -”
“You worry too much!” Remus says. “Virge asked you out even though you’re a workaholic disaster who wouldn’t know the meaning of ‘relax’ if it bit him in the -”
“Remus!” Patton scolds, throwing one of Logan’s decorative constellation pillows at him. Remus bats it away with his foot.
“Please do not throw things around,” Logan says tiredly. “Particularly my things.”
“Sorry, Lo!” Remus does not apologize, but he does put the slime he’s been playing with back into its little plastic container.
“Well, actually,” Patton says, flipping over onto his tummy, “it just so happens that I’ve been waiting for exactly this moment.” Logan looks at their twin in confusion. “I knew that eventually, there was gonna come a day where you would look at somebody and want to go on a date with them, whether it be a simple movie or a fancy date like this one, and you were gonna call me in here - didn’t know Remus would be here too, but he’s not unwelcome -”
“Thank you?”
“- and you’d pace around and panic and go, ‘Patton! I don’t have anything optimal for this date, and our personal styles are so vastly different! What ever is there to be done?’” Patton flings one hand dramatically across his forehead like a Victorian woman fainting onto a couch. Logan raises one eyebrow.
“So! I came up with the perfect solution! I’ve been secretly acquiring outfits for you! Stuff that you could wear for a variety of situations that you wouldn’t ever think of! We can mix and match to find something you like! Oh, and I also have a ton of unopened hypoallergenic makeup in a box in my closet!”
Logan stares at him, blinking and trying to process everything Patton’s just told them. “You . .. you really did all that, for . . . for me?”
“Yeah, of course I did! You’re my twin, Lo. I love you.” Patton smiles, bright and open and honest, and Logan blinks again, and suddenly their cheeks are wet.
“Are you fucking crying because Patton is a considerate brother?!” Remus cackles. Logan whirls around, hiding their face and wiping at it frantically. “Oh my god, you are, I fucking called it, Roman owes me twenty bucks!”
“You bet on this?” Patton asks, disapproving. Logan laughs a little, turning around to hug their twin. They can’t quite bring themselves to care about Remus’s gambling right now.
*~*~*~*~*
“Why are you bitching?” Roman asks, pulling Derek’s hand up to his face. He’d forgotten his saline solution at his own house, so he’s wearing his old red glasses, bangs pulled up in a shitty unicorn-horn ponytail as he squints at Derek’s nails. Derek holds a book up with his free hand. “You managed to get them to go out with you, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, but I was awkward as fuck about it, Roman!” Virgil complains. He considers throwing something at Roman, or shoving a pillow over his face and screaming (again), but the deep indigo-purple polish on their fingernails is still drying. “I touched their hair, they probably think I’m a fucking creep!”
“As someone with that exact reputation,” Derek says, “I highly doubt they would have agreed to accompany you on a date if they shared your sentiments about yourself.”
“Yeah, but -”
“Lighten up a little, man,” Roman says, carefully stroking the yellow brush over Derek’s index nail. “You’re totally fucking with the vibe of the chill session.”
“What do you want me to do?! I told them to dress fancy cause we’re going somewhere nice, like I have any idea how to dress other than ‘crawled out of a dumpster and sewed together some punk band’s leftovers’!”
“Why did you think you invited me?” Roman says haughtily. He’s imitating some YouTube video they’d watched earlier. “I’m the king of style!”
“You’re the king of something,” Virgil mutters.
“No, seriously, I’m gonna help you!” Roman says. “I’m sure you have something that looks half-decent buried in your closet, and I am nothing if not an expert in bringing things out of the closet.” Derek’s cheeks blush faintly pink, but he doesn’t say anything. “And Der here is amazing with makeup -”
“I wouldn’t say experience with stage makeup and covering my port wine stain makes me amazing or anything,” Derek begins.
“Well I would, so shut the fuck up,” Roman says smoothly. Derek rolls his eyes and huffs fondly. “Seriously, Vee, did you really think we were gonna egg you on to ask the pretty nerd out for this long and then leave you high and dry when the time came to deliver the goods?”
Virgil exhales, bringing his hands up to his face to examine his nails. “I think they’re dry . . .”
“Nice! Get over here, once I’m done with Derek’s base color I’m putting sparkles on you.”
“What? Why?”
“Because it’s my house and I get to choose the bonding activity, god damn it.”
*~*~*~*~*
“No.”
“What do you mean, no?” Logan says, pulling their hair up into their traditional high ponytail. “What else am I supposed to do with it? I hate leaving it down, it feels bad on my neck -”
“I know,” Patton says, “but you can’t just put it in the same old ponytail you always do! This is a fancy gala event, you have to be fancy! ”
“What else am I supposed to do with my hair?”
“You will not do anything. I will do your hair,” Patton says firmly. “And by I, I mean Remus, because I’m not good at hair.”
“Remus is not putting his hands, which have been god only knows where, in my clean hair.”
“Rude!” Remus says. “I washed them three times today! You can inspect them if you want, I promise they’re clean!” Logan squints at his hands critically before sighing and settling into the chair in front of Patton’s vanity.
“Very well.”
Remus brushes through their hair and then combs it, carefully working through the knots while doing his best to preserve their natural curl. He separates two small wings and pins them out of the way before pulling the rest of Logan’s long curls into a mid-height ponytail and braiding it with surprisingly delicate fingers. He carefully twists the long braid up into a bun at the nape of Logan’s neck and pins it there with a gleaming silver hairpin tipped with a shining eight-point star with a dark blue jewel set in its center.
Carefully, Remus unpins the locks of hair he’d set aside and braids them as well, weaving them into a crown of braids on Logan’s head and cleverly hiding the ends by pinning them into the braided bun. Finally, he pins back a few stray wispy curls with silver bobby pins that have star-shaped cubic zirconium on the ends. “Take a look!”
Logan has had their eyes closed the entire time, quietly stimming with their hands. They open them slowly, looking in the mirror and tilting their head back and forth to see all of the work Remus has done. “Oh,” they say softly. “I love it, Remus. I look beautiful.”
“You always look beautiful,” Remus says. “I’d ruffle your hair if I hadn’t spent so much time making it look decent.” Logan leans back, gently pressing their cheek against his shoulder. Remus huffs and mutters something about “gross affectionate shit,” but he still lets them do it.
Patton breaks out the makeup after that, spinning the stool around so that Logan can’t see their own face in the mirror. “Alright, Lo! Time to accentuate your pretty face!”
“That was a surprisingly accurate use of the word accentuate.”
Patton just shrugs and grins at them. “I know big words!”
*~*~*~*~*
“You look fine,” Roman says, pulling a strip of fabric around Virgil’s throat and beginning to knot it into a bowtie. Virgil can’t stop himself from looking over himself in the mirror one more time - dark black dress pants, a silver dress shirt, a deep purple vest that matches the polish on his nails, black and purple eyeshadow accompanied by dark red lipstick and sharp cheekbone contour courtesy of Derek. Roman pulls the purple-and-silver striped fabric of his bowtie into the final bow, and he smiles.
“Don’t worry, Virge. I know you’re worried, but you look fine.”
“You don’t look like a vampire at all,” Derek adds. Virgil hisses at him. “That is certainly going to help that image.”
“Seriously,” Roman says, “don’t worry about my stupid boyfriend. Logan agreed to go out with you, and I’m sure they’re going to find you absolutely stunning.”
Virgil rubs the back of his neck, blushing, because he knows that if he touches the hair Derek and Roman had combed and gelled and styled and wrestled with for the past thirty minutes they will collectively murder him without a second thought. Derek smiles, reaching over to pat his shoulder. “It’ll be okay, Vee. Seriously. I know I mock you a lot, but you really do look good. It’s gonna be okay.”
Virgil still feels nervous when he steps out of his car in front of the address Logan had given him. The lights are bright and cheerful, and when he knocks on the front door with his free hand, the door swings open eagerly. “Hello!” the man says cheerily. He’s wearing a pink tie and a brown cardigan, and he looks like Virgil expects Patton to in a few decades. “You must be Virgil!”
“Uh, um, y-yes sir!” Virgil yelps.
“Oh, you look precious! Remy, dearest, Logan’s date is here!”
“Cool, babes,” a voice floats in from the kitchen. “I’ll take over the soup.”
“Come on in! You can call me Emile, Lo is upstairs with Patton and Remus getting ready! Just wait here in the foyer, I’ll go up there and get them!” Emile hurries off up the stairs, and Virgil fidgets nervously with the flowers in his hand.
Patton all but slides down the bannister, grinning. “Are those for Lo?”
“Y - yeah?”
“I’ll go get a vase out of the kitchen so they can put them in water before you two go!” Virgil pulls a single star-shaped lily bloom from the bouquet and spins it between his thumb and middle fingers. Emile comes hurrying down the stairs with a camera, sets himself up at the foot of the stairs, and shouts for Remus.
“Finally,” Logan huffs, and then a door creaks open and shuffled footsteps approach the top of the stairs and then Virgil promptly forgets how to breathe.
They look gorgeous.
They have a crown of braids leading to a braided bun, studded with jewels that gleam like stars and a larger star pinning the bun back. They’re wearing the most beautiful dress Virgil has ever seen; the top is black, high-necked, and form-fitting, with short sleeves that are see-through ruffles of black gauzy material. The sleeves and the bodice are covered in sparkling silver rhinestones that look like stars in the night sky. There’s a silver band wrapped around their waist, and the skirt is made of layers of loose folds of fabric. The front comes down to their knees and the back comes down to their mid-calves, and the pattern is a soft blue-pink-purple galaxy color scheme. They have simple dark blue ballet flats on their feet, and as they get closer, what little breath Virgil had in his lungs is gone.
Someone with experience has clearly done Logan’s makeup. Their eyes are coated in shimmery dark-blue-and-silver eyeshadow, eyes lined with soft smudged pencil and popping out of their face, freckles somehow still visible under the makeup. Their lips are glossy and pink and look so deliciously kissable that Virgil can barely restrain himself.
“You look wonderful,” the vision in front of him says.
“You - I - um - good!” Virgil stammers. Logan blushes, and Virgil thrusts the bouquet at them. “These - for you!”
“Oh!” Logan takes the bouquet and smiles, and Virgil nearly passes out. “They’re beautiful! I -”
“I have a vase for you!” Patton chirps, hurrying in to take the bouquet and plop it into a vase. “I’ll leave it in your room!” Logan smiles, and Virgil reaches up to carefully tuck the lily behind their ear, into the carefully woven braids.
“You look beautiful,” he says honestly. “You’re the most beautiful person I have ever seen in my life.” Logan flushes, smiling.
“It makes sense that you would think that, since you cannot see yourself.”
(Years later, at their wedding, Patton will tearfully and proudly recall how Logan and Virgil had been fifteen minutes late to the gala because Logan’s compliment had caused Virgil to faint from sheer gay joy.)
#starshinewrites#romantic analogical#sympathetic deceit#sympathetic remus#background romantic roceit#background romantic remile#background queerplatonic intruality#ts logan#ts virgil#ts remus#ts deceit#ts patton#ts roman
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Dean still thanked Bobby every day for giving him a job at his store. Bobby would only respond with ‘shut up and stop thanking me ya idjit!’
But still, Dean was grateful. With Sam in his first year of college (Stanford Smart-Ass), even with a hefty scholarship, affording to live is still a bitch – especially in one of the most expensive states in the country.
So, on top of his job during the week as a TA at the local university, Dean picks up a couple shifts over the weekend at his Uncle Bobby’s vintage antique store.
Now, while Dean was extremely grateful, the gratefulness didn’t stop the fact that the job was boring as hell.
If you asked Dean, half the stuff in the store looked like it should be donated to Goodwill not be in a vintage store on sale for hundreds of dollars.
(It’s not that Dean didn’t understand the appeal of vintage items. He could appreciate a vintage beauty. His car was a prime example of that. However, despite what the price tags may say, none of this junk held a candle to his beautiful 67 Chevy Impala.)
The place was hardly heaving, even on weekends. And when customers did come in each interaction went one of two ways:
People brought in their old junk in an attempt to pass it off as some rare artefact. Trying to convince those people that what they thought was a valuable medal, passed down through generations may as well have come out of a Happy Meal was not Dean’s favourite way to spend his Saturday.
The second, and perhaps the worst, type of customer would be the rich, entitled people who come into the shop wanting to expand their collection of antiques (which Dean knew without having to visit their homes that they only purchase to show off their wealth and don’t particularly care where they come from). They could be buying a Victorian butt plug to display on their mantelpiece but wouldn’t care as long as it’s as old and expensive as possible.
Dean had a customer just last week who took hours trying to haggle on the price of an antique brooch, despite clearly being about to afford it at full price. If Dean didn’t need the job to support Sam he would have told the woman exactly what he thought of her. (Even Bobby had rules when it came to professionalism). Regardless, she was a total –
“I need a ring!”
Dean was snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of a man entering the store looking pretty flustered – emphasis on the pretty.
The man made quick strides of the distance between the door and the counter where Dean was still stood – transfixed by the frankly beautiful man coming towards him.
The man stopped and let out a deep and calming sigh.
“I need a ring.” He repeated more smoothly.
Regardless of how he feels about the customers, no one could say Dean wasn’t awesome at his job. So he put on his best customer service smile, tried to ignore the things this man was making his body feel and silently thanked Bobby once again for this.
“Of course, Sir. Was there anything in particular you had in mind?”
The man frowned.
“Please. There’s no need to call me ‘Sir’. Just call me Castiel.”
Castiel. Angelic
Go figure.
“Okay, Castiel. Are you looking for any kind of ring in particular?”
As he spoke, Dean started to move towards the key box that held the key to unlock the glass cabinet, which housed all of their rings.
“Your most expensive if possible, please.”
Dean stopped in his tracks and looked momentarily at Castiel with wide eyes.
Not only is this dude hot as fuck, he’s rich as fuck too?
Dean was used to asshole rich people throwing their money around but even they had a limit. Coming in and asking for the most expensive ring before even seeing it? Dean didn’t care how gorgeous this guy was, or how blue his eyes were, or how rough his voice sounded, or how sharp his jawbone looked, or –
Anyway! This dude was clearly a douchebag so Dean wasn’t interested.
He opened the glass case and lifted out the most expensive ring, placing it delicately on a black cloth for Castiel to look at.
Castiel picked it up between his finger and thumb – inspecting carefully.
He seemed so quiet and unassuming – nothing like the normal wealthy douchebags Dean encountered. Maybe he got him wrong. Maybe he wasn’t so bad.
“Yes, I think she’ll like that one.”
Ah. So not a douchebag but definitely not single.
Dean sighed internally. That put an end to that before it even began.
Castiel dropped the ring back onto the surface and reached into his pocket for his wallet. Dean picked up the ring and carefully placed it inside the matching box. He was painfully aware that ring was worth more than he could earn in almost a year. Even if Castiel was single, Dean would never keep up with that amount of wealth.
He tried not to let the disappointment of Castiel’s impending engagement affect him – he was still just a stranger after all (a beautiful one at that his brain unhelpfully supplied). Dean plastered on his customer service smile.
“Would you like our complimentary cleaning cloth to help maintain its colour? We recommend cleaning it properly every week or so with this cloth as it is one of the older items in our collection.”
Castiel thought for barely a moment, “Sure.”
Gee, for a guy about to spend the rest of his life with the love of his life, he sure seemed uninterested in a pretty essential part of the process. This was just getting more and more depressing – and confusing.
Dean rushed to finish the transaction so he could get back to the normal status quo of the regular two types of customers and not a third who comes barreling in and turns his system upside down.
He finished the payment – Castiel barely flinched when Dean told him the price – and packed the ring carefully with the cleaning cloth into a gift bag.
“Thank you and I hope you and your soon-to-be fiancée have a wonderful life together.”
It pained Dean to say as he looked into Castiel’s eyes. Bobby should give him a raise just for the smile he was fighting to keep on his face.
As if Dean couldn’t take anymore, Castiel tilted his head and squinted his eyes making himself look adorable as hell.
“I’m not getting engaged.”
What?!
“What?”
“I’m not getting engaged.”
“B-but you just bought a really fucking expensive engagement ring!”
The confused part of Dean’s brain was overpowering the other part screaming ‘He’s not getting engaged – he might be single!’
“It’s for my mother.”
“Okay dude, you’re gonna have to walk me through this one. I mean, I love my mom but who drops that much on a ring for their mom?”
“My mother loves material things and good reputations – perhaps more than her own children. She has been rather angry with me for a few days so in order to ‘get back in her good books’ I needed to get the most expensive and oldest piece of jewellery I could. I see her tonight, hence why I was so flustered when I came in.”
Dean chose to ignore how adorable Castiel looked doing air quotes – his bran was about to explode.
“Ouch. What did you do to make her angry enough to need something as pricey as this?” Dean indicated to the bag he realised he was still holding out.
“My brother accidentally told her I’m gay.”
At this point, the other side of Dean’s brain finally took over.
DUDE HE’S NOT GETTING ENGAGED. HE’S PROBABLY SINGLE. AND HE’S INTO DUDES! ASK! HIM! OUT!
After a few prolonged seconds of Dean having an internal breakdown, Castiel started to look uneasy. Dean immediately recognised that uneasiness and managed to spit out a sentence that actually made sense.
“She’s angry at you for being gay? Sounds like a complete bitch to me.”
Dean realised what he’d said and instantly went to take it back but was stopped by the smirk on Castiel’s face.
“Oh don’t worry. She is. But as I said, she puts good reputations before her children and that means she’s paying for my law school. Well, what she thinks is law school.” There was that smirk again. Dean might just die. “I’m actually getting a degree in Education and Psychology. But I’ve got a year left so I need her to keep paying for my tuition. The day I graduate is the day I walk away from that family for good.”
Castiel held his head a little higher at that and Dean couldn’t help but admire the guy. Sucking up to a homophobic mom while tricking her into paying for the degree he wants? Frickin’ badass!
“Dude, I don’t know you from Adam, but, going on that ring alone, are you sure you could give up all that money?”
Castiel shrugged. “I’ve never been interested in it. I suppose that made me a bit of a black sheep. Add in the fact I’m gay, it pushed my mother over the edge. Hence the much too expensive ring.”
Wow. Was this guy for real?
Dean stood up from where he’d been leaning on the counter, listening with rapt attention. He put his hands in his pockets, looked down at a scratch in the counter top and looked up again slowly meeting Castiel’s eyes.
“So you’re not getting engaged?”
“Nope. Far from it, in fact.”
“You’re giving up the family money to live your own independent life?”
“Yes.”
“And you’re definitely into guys?”
Castiel smirked. “Yes. Very much so.”
“So… would you wanna go out some time? I promise it’ll probably be the cheapest date you’ve ever been on – I’m not exactly loaded myself.”
Dean avoided Castiel’s gaze, picking at the scratch on the counter.
A finger came out and lifted his chin, forcing him to meet Castiel’s eyes again.
“That sounds perfect. I’d love to go out with you but I do have one condition.”
Dean’s heart soared. He was starting to wonder where this guy had been all his life.
“Yeah?”
“Tell me your name.”
Dean threw his head back as a sharp, loud laugh burst through him.
The one day he forgot to wear his name tag. (He could hear Bobby’s ‘idjit’ ringing in his head.)
“It’s Dean.”
“Okay Dean, I’ll be out of town for a few days – to deliver the ring and reassure my mother that my brother was wrong, that her law school son is just looking for the right woman to settle down with.” Castiel rolled his eyes. “But when I get back I’d love to get burgers and see a movie or something?”
Dean’s smile could outshine the sun.
“Sounds awesome.”
* * *
A year later, they were all gathered in Dean’s garden celebrating Castiel’s graduation.
Since they met, Dean’s family had slowly started becoming Castiel’s too.
Now, Castiel was free from his biological family and was surrounded by his found family.
Dean was telling his Aunt Ellen the story of how they’d met but Castiel had zoned it out, focused only on looking at the beautiful man he got to call his.
“What a bitch!”
Castiel was drawn back into the conversation by Dean’s ‘cousin’ Jo’s outburst. Ah. They’re up to that point in the story.
Everyone in the group was looking at Castiel with sympathy and anger in their eyes.
Castiel shrugged.
“It’s fine. I used the family credit card to pay for the ring anyway. Plus I left with the most priceless item in that store anyway.”
The small crowd aww’d as Dean rolled his eyes and pulled Castiel in for a kiss.
This was my first fic since 2016 so please forgive if it’s a bit naff! I’m still re-finding my feet.
If you’d like to be tagged any of my future stuff just drop me a message and let me know. :)
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━♡ guess the 23 YEAR OLD FEBRUARY baby just arrived to dallyeog! it makes sense, because CHU EUNHA is just as BEDAZZLING as the month of FEBRUARY. wait, why do they remind me of JACOB BAE? beyond that, they seemed JOYOUS and SAVVY upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of DELICATE and QUIXOTIC though. i hope they get acquainted here in COMPLEX 1 / APARTMENT 0215 / FLOOR 3 ; HE seem(s) to have a lot going on with HIS job as a PATISSERIE OWNER/NUTRITIONAL SCIENCE STUDENT. ( ez, 21, she/they, gmt. )
well hey there !! im ez but you fellow dallyeogers can call me ezzy, i have been in dallyeog before so some may remember me as having someone v different to my new bb i bring u now, i joined before with miss tam carmen !! anygays i return with this lil angel who i am all ‘ i say that’s my baby and i’m proud ’ over already even tho i literally came up with him like two days ago. you can find his pinboard here ( which btw i fuckeN love like he’s so aesthetic to me u go king ) and i made him a lil playlist which u can vibe to here. you can learn more about him under the cut but he’s a super soft-hearted gentle dove of a muse and quite...simple for me ?? sdhdh that’s not the right wording but U GET IT djjflg he isn’t super full of angst or trauma he’s just kinda viBIN livin his best life so that’s fun !! but ye without further ado:
so as u kno from his app he owns a patisserie, it’s his lil babey and he is very dedicated to his craft and makin sure all his ideas for the place and the baked goods he sells are like rlly quirky and avant-garde. like he is so passionate about it u dont even KNOW, he tries to make sure most of the stuff on his menu is something like fun and new u wouldn’t get at just any old patisserie or cafe and that it’s super varied and also kinda aesthetic af? the place is very like trendy. it’s called patisserie d’elysian cause ya know he’s an extra biTCHH and proud.
he has three pupperino’s. all as adorable as each other, snickerdoodle is his golden lab and often ppl shorten it down to snickers, butterscotch is his dapple daschund pup, shortens the name to scotchie often. toulouse is his fancy toy poodle boi, shortens the name down as toto. if u are on the shortened name basis with his pups then u can consider urself one of his close pals.
he’s actually adopted by his aunt but she raised him like she was his mother so that is what he considers her, she’s on his mother’s side but they are half-siblings. in terms of first name reasoning as well she just liked eunha as a name and didn’t even think about how it is traditionally for a female, she liked that it meant gift from heaven so it stuck. his father is still around, he’s just quite elderly so it felt like a better living situation for him to be raised primarily by his auntie. unfortunately his mother has passed on but no tragic story, she just went peacefully in old age.
he dyes his hair quite often, it’s currently like a really pastel blue with black streaks consistently throughout like lil ones so it looks super cool. but he’s also had it be a more electric blue, lilac, and a duck egg kinda faded silvery blue. it’s naturally dark brunette. has brown eyes kind of a hazel hue.
his style is kinda androgynous ig?? he just lives for soft retro fashion, lots of color in his wardrobe but also lots of tapered short and t-shirt fits frequented, sweater vests, rolled up jeans, high skater boi socks, soft jumpers with shirts, shirts in bright colours or satiny texture worn over plain white t-shirts, cardigans, pastel denim jackets, jeans with printed patterns on like clouds, flowers etc, favors yellow and blues. sometimes does eye makeup, occasionally wears heels bc he’s a baddie or super heeled boots/chunky shoes.
obsessed with music, can play violin and guitar. he’s a big mitski and rina sawayama fanatic, likes anything that sounds peaceful or calming or has like a good fun vibe to it. also likes the trademark gay icons like carly rae jepsen, lorde, etc. he’s not ashamed. obsessed with mamma mia movies. but also likes rap which is rlly funny cause its like the bad bitch female rappers only and like he’ll listen to it while arranging his sock drawer or making his bed or something ajdjdj it’s like hype anthems for being a baddie and a hoe and he’s just doing his night sleepy routine adkfkf.
showers, blankets, music, baked goods especially bagels are his happy places.
very much a sensitive lil romanticist, falls in ‘love’ like five times a day, he just likes to giggle and smile around pretty people and admire the artwork hnghdh, he’s like yeARNS though ya know?? like he’s all i will flirt by making prolonged eye contact, i made you a playlist, this song makes me think of you etc. it’s either memes as flirting with him or elaborate love letters u never know what ur gonna get akdkd.
awful sense of humour, loves his friends more than anything on earth except his pups, would fully live in a huge house of just like his pups and all his closest buds for all eternity. likes fruits way too much, enjoys puns about fruits way too much. milkshakes, sushi, orange hues and bus rides are some of his absolute favorite simple pleasures of life. clouds, flowers, salt lamps, the sunrise over the sea, skateboarding, fresh soda, teddy bears, busy street markets, parasols, fish tanks with exotic fish, sorbet, bike riding, polaroids, record players, rain at night against floor to ceiling windows with a fresh steaming pot of tea on the desk beside it and warm fresh sheets from the laundry on his bed, ponds, skateboarding. all little joys in life that give him like the biggest pleasure dopamine hit in the world.
his cousin actually owns a florists so he has flowers just littering his apartment like a lot and it just looks like he has ten million suitors from the late eighteenth century attempting to court him but no all these flowers are from him to him or worse from his aunt djfjg she sends him some for valentines every valentines, pls help him, pls send him flowers.
studies nutritional science and he fucken hates it. do not ask him shit cause he doesn’t KNOW OKAY? he doesn’t understand it either. he took it because he needed something to go alongside the passion for baking that was a real ‘qualification’/job so that is the only reason he’s doing it. no point doing a baking degree after all when he’s already a baker with a business, he’s super young still he gotta keep his prospects open. so YAH. he’d rather be doing culinary arts but eh. nutritional science sounded better and more logic based. the real miracle is he still gets top grades all the time even tho he spends his life like wtf am i even doing is this even legit akdkdk. school is the worst thing in the world for him watch his mood instantly deflate the second its brought up.
despite being a quixotic, he’s a lil afraid of intimacy. like oh god does he love it, those small touches and acts of affection u kno? the subtle things that normally go unnoticed, eye contact, brushing of hands, linking of little fingers, rubbing a thumb, kissing eyelids or foreheads or palms or shoulders in little gentle pecks, back massages and rubs or finger tracing patterns absent-minded, shoulder massages, laying your head on someone’s shoulder or on their lap, knocking knees together, exchanging a small glance only the two of you get before bursting into laughter, smiling into kisses, napping together, having blankets placed over you warm and fresh, or towels put ready like it, someone making you something they know you like a lot. that’s his sHIT. but like he’s terrified still, someone skimming their fingers on his skin makes his breath hitch like he’s a scandalized and alarmingly aroused victorian woman sjdjd. he’s literally still a virgin, he hasn’t even had his first kiss okay my baby is delicate be gentle with him akdkd but he still LIKES PASSION AIGHT kfkf.
real soft spoken, honey tinted voice like i shit u not this boy talks like he’s an angel sent from heavens above to guide you to the paradisaical garden of eden or some shit akdkd. ur gonna fall in love with eunha’s voice before u even fall in love with any other part of him like his adorable beaming smile or stunning eyes akdkf.
has dance parties around his room when getting ready in the morning, listens to bella’s lullaby unironically yes from twilight yes u heard right, bit of a himbo streak sometimes in his obliviousness djfjf. quite silently subtly funny actually much like jacob himself.
he is gay, afraid of driving, cannot do math, blanks out often and he is valid for all of those things. has a collection of cartoon and disney animal movie dvds. has a dream notebook. always has blue painted nails in some kinda shade.
does not enjoy turning in assignments bc he is scared he’ll fail, avoids looking at his grades for weeks after they’re released and hates knowing that they’re out.
cannot dance, dances often. collects vintage stuff esp clothes and mostly sweaters. likes midnight trips to corner stores and fields where he can just lay and look at the stars. makes friends rlly easily but has super bad performance anxiety. cannot ever have a messy room like even the tiniest bit messy. even like clothes being stacked on a chair instead of away.
bakes peanut butter, banana and choc chip muffins (they r called monkey bites normally) whenever he’s super stressed. if u want to cheer him up when he’s anxious or stressed then u should give him french lavender honey, chia seeds and caramelized pear on toast/bagel. it is his comfort food. he fancii when he needs a pick me up. treat urself and all that.
#dallyeog:intro#i'm literally in love with him he's the softest most goodest boi muse i have ever made and i just#im that meme of the samari sword guy with the cat in his arms akfkfk#IVE ONLY HAD EUNHA FOR TWO DAYS BUT IF ANYONE HURTS HIM I WILL KILL THEM AND THEN MYSELF AKKDK
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Hii~ A request for Tom Holland x Reader :3 well, i don't know how to explain (i hope my english is not too bad and understandable) but it would be fun if Tom and Reader were in love with each other, but one day their families set up an arranged marriage and they don't know with whom (when it is to marry Tom and Reader, they don't know that they both come from a wealthy family) and therefore they do their best to cancel this wedding separately
Summary: Tom and (Y/N) have been dating for a while now and both knew that they loved the other more than anything in the world. But when they received the news that they were going to marry someone else, they try everything to call off the wedding, without knowing the whole story behind it
A/N: I loved your request, I really did. Don’t worry about your English, it’s fine! Also, my first language is Portuguese (the hardest language to speak on Earth, to be honest), so I make my own mistakes sometimes and I apologize. I made up names for family members to give some reality to the story and I got a little carried away with 10K words. And sorry I took too long.
Words: 10.2K
Pairing: Rich!CEO!Tom Holland x Rich!Reader
Warnings: Mentions of sex, cursing, alcohol.
masterlist | main blog | gif source | story’s playlist | song title
ALWAYS THERE
Valentine’s Day was a very special day for many couples, especially for those who just got together and were really looking forward to having a nice date with their significant other. It didn’t really matter how cold the day was, the streets were full of couples trying to get to their dates and restaurants all booked up. For (Y/N) and Tom, it would be the very first time spending Valentine’s Day together. The had just got together, after meeting in each in a pub and started going out on dates together. It was fast but they really were completely falling for each other and that’s why today was so special for both of them.
The day started with (Y/N) getting a huge bouquet of flowers over her work dress and getting a lot of funny or jealous looks from her coworkers. And after a full day of work, both her and Tom rushed to their dinner reservation. Tom made sure to get the best place to have dinner with his girl, just because he wanted everything to be perfect. Somewhere that wasn’t crowded and the food was just so good. They almost lost their reservation because of the traffic, but luckily they made it to the restaurant just in time.
“Hi, darling. Happy valentine’s day.” Tom pulled her by the waist and kissed her deeply.
“Happy valentine’s day love.” She fixed his hair and smiled. “I’m sorry I’m late, it’s just… Traffic and work.”
“Yeah, I know. Me too.” He smiled and kissed her again. “Shall we go in?”
“Yes! I’m starving.” He followed her inside with a hand on the small of her back.
It was the perfect place for both of them. Not very crowded, lots of wine options, good music and good food. It was just so perfect, just the two of them, after a long day of work. They weren’t together for long, but judging by their faces when they were looking at each other, you could just know how in love they were.
“Thank you for the flowers earlier. Lilies are my favourite.”
“Just a little something for my favourite girl.” He searched for her hands over the table and rubbed circles with his thumb on the back of her hand. “How was your day?”
“Full. I had many job interviews to make and a really long and boring meeting. And I had to stick around a little longer just to choose the last outfits for tomorrow’s photoshoot.”
“Wow, you must be really tired.” He said and she nodded.
“Mostly mentally tired, but I’m okay now.” She tightened her grip on his hand and smiled. “How was your’s?”
“Tiring as well, but is mostly my dad’s fault. He’s been bothering me all week to come to dinner with both him and my mother and to be honest, it’s not something I’ve been looking forward to having because every time we are together, we fight.”
“Oh, I wish I could just go with you. It would be lovely to meet your parents. But my aunt is hosting a dinner tomorrow with a big part of my family and my mom said it’s important for me to be there.”
“It’s okay, darling. Maybe you can meet my parents some other time and I can meet yours. I just know that I’m dying to meet the two that graced us with your presence in the world.” He smirked and she laughed.
“That was cheesy.”
“I know.” Both of them laughed and got excited to see their food coming in. “But yeah, I’m serious. I can’t wait to meet them because I really want this to be a serious thing.”
“I’m glad you are because I am too.” She blushed slightly, taking in her food for the first time. “Uhm, this is delicious.”
“I know right? I came here for a business lunch once and absolutely loved it!”
“It’s just so good. I don’t know if I’m starving or if this is really good.”
“I think both, darling.” He chuckled and she nodded, agreeing.
It was the perfect valentine date after a long day of work and stress, seeing each other and having a simple and nice dinner together was enough to calm their hearts. Tom couldn’t describe the way he felt about her. When she walked into the room was like she could just pull out every single particle of oxygen from the air and he needed her to be around so he could breathe again. She was literally breathtaking and Tom knew it since the first time they met. He also knew he wanted to marry that girl someday. (Y/N) literally felt the same and Tom somehow turned to be the person that really got her and he was the one that made her smile after a hard day. She couldn’t get herself to say, afraid that saying it would make it all go away, but she wanted to be with him for the rest of her life. Of course, they were taking things slowly and it was too early into their relationship to even start talking about marriage, but it was something both of them wanted.
“I’m so glad we did this today. Our first valentine’s day together.” (Y/N) said after they ordered dessert.
“One we’ll remember for the rest of our lives.”
“And we’ll tell our kids about it.” After they both realized what they’d just said, both fell into silence. “Sorry, I shouldn’t…”
“No, I started it.” He said looking down to the table. “But I really want this to be the first of many valentine’s days.”
“Me too.” She smiled. “And I’m sorry for rushing things and talking about kids, but I want it if you want it. Not right now of course, but if I had to have someone’s babies, I’d have yours.”
“I’d have yours too.” He blushed and both of them smiled widely for each other.
“That’s cute, planning our future.”
“Really cute.”
They were truly happy together and it was like nothing was going to tear them apart. What they weren’t expecting was the next day and the dinner they were going to have with their families separately. The end of their night was amazing, almost flawless. They ended up going back to her apartment and spending the whole night together with all their intimacy and everything. They woke up in each other’s arms but they quickly had to leave the apartment to go to work.
Working on the fashion industry could be hard most of the times, but (Y/N) loved every second of it. She spent the whole day working on a photoshoot for a fashion magazine interview and gathered new material to start some new small collection. It was a busy day, but she felt renewed after last night’s events and was really looking forward to spending some time with her family that she hasn’t seen in ages. So when the night came, she just ran to go get herself ready for a nice dinner with her family.
Of course, she found the nicest and most expensive dress in her closet just to go to that dinner. If there’s a thing she knew about her family is that they always noticed those little details like what she was wearing, especially after many investments in her fashion school. She needed to look absolutely perfect for them and she found the perfect dress for the occasion. It was a short white dress with a turtleneck and a long creme coat that fit her just fine and it was elegant, perfect for a family dinner.
Her aunt’s house was absolutely lovely. It was outside town and it kind of looked like a Victorian palace, but it was only her mansion that was so big that a person could easily get lost inside. Wasn’t much different from her old parent’s house, before they moved to a luxury apartment in the city, but her aunt’s was much bigger. She loved her family, but when it came to money and luxury, they’d never hold anything back to get it, coming to a point where they married her cousin Rufus with a girl, daughter of a big company in Paris, just to earn more money with the marriage. And years later she found out that Rufus was gay, which you repugned their forced marriage even more.
She parked her car in the middle of many other cars in front of the house, that was lit up with some amazing spotlights, making it look like a heavenly place. She rocked those heels making her way to the front door, trying to get a little bit more of quietness before she entered a place with a bunch of people bombing her with questions, but before she even rang the doorbell, the big wood door opened revealing one of her aunt’s butlers.
“Good evening, Ms (Y/L/N).” He said with a sympathetic smile on her face.
“Good evening, Mr Williams. Anyone here yet?”
“Everyone. And they were just waiting for your arrival.”
“Uhm, bummer that I’m so late for this.” She fixed her hair and he gave her some space to come in. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
(Y/N)’s aunt Amelia was the kind of woman that wanted everything perfect and in order, which meant that a simple family dinner could be easily turned to be a fancy dinner. Everyone was dressed nicely, which made you feel slightly underdressed. Her aunt herself was wearing a big black furry coat, expensive jewellery and Louboutins. Amelia welcome her niece like she was the most important guest of the night as if she was famous or something. She approached her with two glasses of Whisky in hand and a half-smoked cigarette between her fingers.
“(Y/N) darling, finally! We were already thinking you weren’t going to make it.”
“Sorry Auntie, I’ve been busy at work.” She replied with a smile on her face.
“Oh, so you must be really tired.” She extended one of the glasses towards her niece and winked. “Here, you might need to get some energy for tonight. I know how much you like Whisky with coconut water ice cubes.”
“Thank you, I’ve been needing this all day.”
“Come on, the whole family is waiting for you.”
The living room was filled with family, that including many of your aunts and uncles, cousins and their small families, your mom, dad and younger sister. Everyone was socializing, with drinks on hands and making nice conversation with each other. Very calmly, she made sure to say hi to everyone in particular. Her uncle Robert still made some bad jokes like every other uncle, some of her women cousins were having the motherhood fever and all they talked about was having kids. Her mom and dad were glad to see their older daughter again without any interruptions since she was too busy with work and secretly busy with a new boyfriend. Her younger sister was a little bored at that party, but she was trying to have a good time with her recently married husband and trying to get away from all the maternity talk. And for least, she met her cousin Rufus, sitting on the ground and playing with his twin little daughters while his wife was sitting on the couch with their newborn son.
“Hey Ruffie, so glad to see you here.”
“Hey (Y/N), glad to see you too.” He smiled at her while she kneeled down to meet with his daughters.
“Oh my God, Ronnie and Poppy are so big!” She smiled at him and he smiled back.
“Time flies cousin. And now I have three kids.”
“And they are completely adorable.” She fixed Ronnie’s hair and picked her up in her arms. “Hey Ronnie, how have you been?”
“Good auntie (Y/N). Have you seen my dress? Dad said you made it for me.” She asked showing her beautiful yellow dress with little flowers all over it.
“That’s right darling, did you like it? I sent them to you and your sister as a gift.”
“I loved it. And I’m sure Poppy liked it too.”
“(Y/N), for fuck’s sake, don’t get close to Veronica or Penelope with Whisky. It’s not good for them.” Her mother said from the couch, where she was holding her baby in the middle of all the girls.
“It’s not like I’m giving them to drink, Bonnie.” She replied back.
“Still, the smell is not good for them and it’s a bad influence. That’s why we don’t have any alcohol in the house.” She said to the other mothers. “We should drink around three little kids, it’s just… wrong.” (Y/N) rolled her eyes and rested Ronnie on the ground, finishing her drink right after.
“She’s just so annoying, isn’t she?” You sister, Olivia, asked on your ears.
“Don’t even start on that. She always gets on my nerves.”
“Well, let’s eat!” Aunt Amelia announced.
Dinner was fun, catching up with family and drinking the nicest bottles of wine one could possibly find with a great meal made by Amelia’s personal chef. Everything was just spectacular and everyone was having a good time. (Y/N) loved her family, even though they were messed up people and sometimes they married boring people just for the money and luxury. It was still great to be around them because after all, they were her family. (Y/N) was just glad that Olivia’s husband Wyatt was a decent guy and was treating everyone good. They all enjoyed a good meal together and almost gave up eating by the time dessert was served. After a couple of minutes, people started saying goodbye, going to their homes or to their rooms, leaving only (Y/N), her parents, Olivia and Wyatt, Rufus and his newborn son and Amelia.
Well, speaking of her aunt, she served herself and her son with a good glass of wine, saying that nobody would tell his wife, which he appreciated and drank the whole with excitement. Olivia finally said goodbye to everyone, leaving with her husband back to their house. Rufus finished his drink and went for a walk to try getting his son to sleep. Amelia lighted up a cigar and offered it to the ones left at the table, which all politely decline, except for (Y/N), who accepted it.
“Look at you, darling. So much like me. I’m very proud.” Amelia said.
“It just came to me that all of those times we left (Y/N) with Amelia, she taught her daughter to be a whisky and cigar appreciator.” Her dad said, cracking a laugh.
“That’s why she didn’t turn out to be a boring girl like you Harry.”
“I just hope Olivia didn’t turn out to be like you two.” Alice said in the middle of a laugh.
“Uhm, auntie Amelia. Why exactly did you host this dinner? Cigars and my favourite whisky, also my favourite food and dessert. I know you like to please people, but not that much specifically.”
“She’s smart, Harry!” Amelia pointed her cigar towards her niece and sipped her whisky.
“Well, darling, we were talking to your aunt since Olivia got married and we were all just impressed that she got engaged before you did. Not to be totally rude, but you’re 27 darling and she’s 24.”
“I haven’t met someone special yet. Also, I’ve been really busy with work. You know that I need to sacrifice myself to get some good money as you all do.”
“Well, actually talking about money. We are trying to open the horizons for our company and after some long talks about how it happened before in our family and turned out to be just fine, we decided that you can help us get where we want.”
“What do you mean?” She did a confused face to her aunt and she laughed, looking back to Alice gripping tightly on her glass of wine.
“What your aunt is trying to say is that you’re the only single one left in the family and we are going to get you married to one of our associate’s son to unite the company’s. It would be beneficial for both you and him, also for the family business, since we’re all going to get a lot of money out of this. You can drop your work and work much less with us.”
“That’s completely insane! And disgusting. I’m not marrying someone I don’t love, or worst, someone I don’t know!”
“He’s a great kid and very handsome,” Amelia said, resting her glass on the table. “And you know we got to do everything to keep the family good. If we don’t do this, we might go bankrupt in a year.”
“I can’t believe you’re trying to do this to me, just the same as you did with Rufus and the same the rest of this disgusting family did for money. Marriage without love, that’s absolutely insane! You’re all insane.”
“Well, we’re not proposing it to you. We decided and you’re marrying that guy, rather you like it or not.” Harry said and (Y/N) dropped her glass on the floor. “The marriage will be here, a small reunion with just the important people and it has to be done in two weeks, only in time for you to choose a dress. Your aunt and mother took care of all the rest of the ceremony.”
“Just know that you completely ruined my life right now.” She left the table and ran for her car. Rufus was leaned against it with his baby pressed on his chest completely asleep. Some tears were already falling from her face and she tried to hide it.
“I know that’s fucked up.” Rufus said before she could get into the car. “I was also one of the few that was truly forced to marry someone I don’t like. And God, I wish it was because of money, but it was because my homophobic mother didn’t want to see me married with a guy.”
“It’s so unfair! I love someone and I was planning to spend the rest of my life with him, but they are taking it all away from me.” She said lost between tears. “How do you manage to not completely destroy yourself?”
“Hidden affairs. If Bonnie finds out that I’m gay, she’ll lose her mind. That’s why I try to be discreet and I always go out with other guys, but this is the only thing that keeps me sane. Also, my kids help me a lot, I love them no matter what.”
“That’s so sweet.” She smiled and cleaned some tears from her face. “Hey, how did you manage to have three kids if you don’t even like girls?”
“To be very honest, I don’t know. But it’s sex. if they do the right thing, it just turns out to be good.” She nodded, opening her car door. “Hey, (Y/N). I’m sorry you won’t get to be with your guy anymore, but you’ll make it work.”
“God, I hope so.”
All the way through town, while (Y/N) was arriving at her aunt’s house, Tom was leaving his last meeting of the day to go to his mother’s house. All he truly wanted to do was go to his own apartment and just enjoy a beer alone, or maybe invited his girlfriend over to watch a movie and order something to eat. But since she wasn’t even home and that dinner somehow meant a lot for his mother, he drove directly to her house, which was slightly close to his work. His mother was waiting outside by the time he got there.
“Hey mum, I’m home.” She smiled to see her son parking in front of her house.
“Hello love, oh, I missed you.” She threw her arms around him a pulled him into a hug.
“Why are you outside. It’s cold out here.” He said once his hands got in contact with her cold skin.
“Oh, I was just getting some fresh air while your father finishes dinner.” She fixed his hair and smiled. “I’m so happy to see you.”
“I’m happy to see you too.” He genuinely was and that made him smile. Tom could be worried about having a fight with his parents or maybe he was too tired to be there, but he missed his family and just being with them without having to worry about anything.
“Let’s go inside, everyone is waiting for you.”
Harry was the first one to find Tom when he came into the room, hugging him tightly with a big smile on his face. Paddy came to him second, letting his video game go just to meet with his big brother. Sam waited for Tom to get to the kitchen along with his dad since both of them were doing dinner. The whole place still felt a lot like home, so memories made in there and it always felt nice to be there, especially with the homemade food smell in the air along with some of his favourite people. Their parents decided to ditch their personal chef and make Tom’s favourite food from when he was a kid, homemade lasagna.
“Son, I bought your favourite whiskey.” His dad said, pouring some for Tom.
“Oh thanks, dad!” He smiled and took some of the liquor.
“You can take it home afterwards if you want it.” Tom nodded and thanked again.
Even though his brothers seemed normal and treating it like a normal family dinner, Tom noticed his parents were acting weird, a little spaced out and worried about something. He didn’t want to bring it up in the middle of dinner, especially while his twin brothers were talking excitedly about their new projects and their girlfriend and his younger brother talked about college, but he would definitely bring it up later.
“So I’m thinking about proposing to Elysia soon.” Sam said and everyone cheered, happy for the guy. “We’ve been together for a long time now and maybe it’s time for us to take the next step.”
“It would be lovely, darling.” Nikki said with a smile, surprised with the revelation.
“And what about you Harry?” Tom asked and his brother smiled.
“I don’t think I’m taking that step just yet with my girlfriend, especially now that I’ve been busy with my job. I think I’m just okay with the way things are.”
“How about you Tom, seeing anyone?” Paddy asked and his parents started to pay more attention to the conversation, shutting up to listen carefully. Tom wasn’t sure if it was time to talk about his girlfriend just now, maybe he wanted to keep it all to himself a little more so he could just enjoy her alone.
“Uhm not really, I mean, I’ve been dating some people but nothing serious. You know, same as you Harry, work’s been hard and I haven’t found the right girl yet.” He lied to their faces and everyone seemed to believe in his story.
“I’m sure you’ll find the right girl soon.” Paddy smiled. “I’ve found a really nice one in uni, haven’t asked her out yet but she’s really cute.”
“I’m glad you found someone.” Tom smiled widely, happy to see that every brother found someone that they truly liked now.
The rest of the dinner was really nice, just catching up in each other’s lives and having fun with the bad jokes thrown around the table. He really didn’t regret coming to their parent’s house today and was really glad to see his family again. By the end of the night, Harry said he had to leave early because of the job that required him very early in the morning. Sam and Paddy started cleaning the living room together, leaving right before they finished it. Tom stook around a little longer to help his mom do the dishes and clean the kitchen, which meant that it was the perfect time to ask them what was wrong.
“Okay, you’ve been acting weird all night.” Tom said pointing to both of his parents. “Like really weird. Spaced out and worried faces. What’s going on? And why the dinner in the middle of the week?”
“We wanted to talk to you about something, sweetie.” His mother said, sitting next to Dom and looking at his son with a worried glance. “You’re 27 Tom and you haven’t even met someone yet. You’re the only single brother left in the family and it’s getting harder and harder to see you finally marrying someone.”
“Also, your mother and I have been talking a lot about expanding the business. We talked to one other enterprise we wanted to associate with and the owner only offered us one way to unite the companies.”
“Which is?” Tom frowned and crossed his arms.
“You have to marry one of the owner’s daughter.” His mom continued and Tom's eyes widened.
“In two weeks.”
“What the fuck? Are you serious?”
“Yes, we are very serious. And you don’t have another choice.”
“I don’t even know this girl.” He spits in anger and his mother held back.
“I know. But you’ve been single for so long, maybe it was meant for it to happen that way. You know Tom, maybe she’s a really nice girl and it’s the perfect woman for you.”
“I don’t want perfect. I want to marry someone I love. I don’t even know the other girl.”
“Please, you need to do this. If you don’t, we might get sued.” His dad begged and Tom shook his head.
“I can’t talk about it right now. I gotta go.”
“Tom…” His mother called but he didn’t look back, going straight to his car and shutting the door behind him.
Tom had a hard time driving home, blinded by the tears falling down his face. He tried to work through everything he just discovered and all he could think about was (Y/N). He could never leave her to marry someone he doesn’t even know. He truly loves her and couldn’t imagine himself being with anybody else but her. (Y/N) wasn’t exactly in the best place right now, crying out of anger and sadness. She made her way home much quicker than it usually takes, rushing to just get to her apartment and crumble in her own bed. They didn’t even know what to think about, only wanting it all to be just a lie.
“(Y/N)?” Tom called his girlfriend once he got home.
“Hey, Tom.” She said softly, trying to cover her own crying voice.
“Are you already home?” He asked and she hummed. “Uhm, I had a really bad night and I just wanted to hear your voice.”
“I had a bad night too. Do you wanna talk about it?”
“No, definitely not.” He shot back quickly. “Do you?”
“Not right now. I wanted to hear your voice too. God, I wish you were here.”
“Promise me we’ll have dinner tomorrow.” He pleaded, making her smile for the first time.
“You can come over to my apartment and we’ll see what we can find for dinner. But I’m not in the mood for going out for dinner. I just wanna cuddle up in my PJs with my favourite boy.”
“I’ll be there.” He said and both of them paused for a second. “I love you.”
“I love you too. So much.” Both of their hearts ached when they said those words, so true and so painful.
“Good night my love.” By that time, Tom was already lost in his own tears.
“Good night Tommy.” She said between her own as well and quickly hung up before breaking down.
It was the hardest night of their lives. (Y/N) cried herself to sleep that night, not even bothering on changing from her clothes before lying down. Tom cried a lot too, but he couldn’t get himself to sleep, spending almost the whole night alone in the door, lightened up only by the television light trying to entertain him somehow. Both called in sick the next morning, not only because they didn’t feel like leaving the house, but mostly because they were trying to avoid any family member.
Tom started his day differently. He opted for black coffee instead of his usual tea, trying to find something to make him stay awake. He didn’t shower right after, coming back to bed once he finished and calling his best mate Harrison, because he needed to vent and he knew that Harrison was the only one who would understand him.
“You’re kidding me, right? Arranged marriage Tom? That’s completely insane? It’s the 21st Century, we don’t have arranged marriages anymore.”
“Try saying that to my parents Harrison.”
“I’m really, truly sorry for all of this. I know I’ve only met (Y/N) once and your relationship is new, but I know how much she means to you and how much you love her.”
“I was going to marry that girl, Haz. Now I’m marrying the girl I’ve never seen before. God, it doesn’t even make sense!”
“You don’t need to marry the other one.”
“My parents could get sued if I don’t marry her. I don’t know what to do, really. I love (Y/N) so much and I don’t even know how to have such a conversation with her.” He started crying again and Harrison remained silent.
“I’m truly sorry Tom. If there’s anything I can help you with, I will.”
“Thank you Haz, you’re my best mate.”
“You’re mine too Tom. I’ll call later to check on you, just… Today pretend you don’t have anything going on. Have one last good night with her before you tell her.”
“That’s a good idea, I’ll try it.”
Tom had everything planned for his last night with her. He bought flowers and some food from the restaurant they had their first date. He drove early to her house, not wanting to be away from her much longer and found her baking in the kitchen. The smell was so good, as homemade chocolate cake should smell like. It was Tom’s favourite and she knew it was since they had it on their second date in her apartment, where she baked some just for him.
“Uhm, this smells so good,” Tom said, hugging her from behind and kissing her neck. “I got here in a good hour.”
“You took to long to get here.” She mumbled, finishing the cake’s cover.
“I actually came earlier.” He turned her around and pulled her into a kiss. She leaned back in the counter, pulling him by the neck, deepening the kiss.
“I know, it’s just… I’m still bummed out by last night and all I wanted was to just be with you.”
“I’m here now.” He kissed her temple and hugged her. “Let’s do something to forget about our horrible night.”
“Uhm, thank you.” She mumbled against his chest and smiled.
“So… I bought us dinner. A little something from the restaurant we had our first date."
"Oh, that's so nice! I love that restaurant."
"Also, I bought you these." He gave her the flower bouquet and she opened a wide smile.
"Oh my God Tom, this is beautiful. Thank you! I love carnations." She brought the flowers to her nose to smell it. "You're full of surprises today."
"I just wanna see a pretty smile on my girl's face." He leaned in and kissed her cheek.
"I haven't bought you anything, Tommy."
"Oh it's okay, you made my favourite cake. Already good."
"Maybe I can pay you back later if you stay the night." She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him back into a kiss.
"I was hoping you'd ask that, darling." He mumbled between kisses and she smiled.
"Come on, there's some wine in the fridge."
"Oh, and I bought some appetizers."
Tom and (Y/N) had a lot of fun together that night. They shared a bottle of wine and danced together to every song that was playing. During a slow one, he swayed her side to side, chin resting on top of her head, eyes closed and bodies as close as possible. Both of them wish that moment wouldn't be over at all, because they knew that it might be the last time they were so close like this. The only thing was that they didn't know that the other knew it was their last night and they had to take advantage of it. Earlier that day, (Y/N) decided that she would tell him later because tonight she just wanted to have one last good night next to him.
"Thank you for being here." She whispered against her chest. "I love you."
"I love you too, darling." He tightened his grip around her and kissed the top of her head "And I'll always be right here with you, no matter what happens. I promise you."
"I promise you too." She tried hard to hold back her tears, letting only a small one go down her cheek. Her heart ached in pain because she wanted to be with him and have a happily ever after along him.
"Should we eat something? I'm starting to feel a little hungry."
"Yeah, sure." She nodded and he pulled her to the kitchen. "What did you get us?"
"Some pasta, roasted meat and those amazing cheesy potatoes they have." Tom picked some pans to heat their dinner and re-do everything he got for them.
"Sounds delicious." She hugged him from behind and buried her nose on the back of his neck. She was gonna miss that smell and he was gonna miss those hugs while he was cooking.
"It not only sounds like it, but it is indeed."
"Uhm, anything's good for me." she was needy and whining. Somehow, she didn't want to let him go.
He finished the dinner and both ate it in the living room while they talked about everything that came into their mind, sharing more stories about each other and just bonding over a delicious meal and good background music. Tom fell in love with her every time he looked at her, she was absolutely perfect, sitting there in a pretty pink dress, hair falling over her shoulders and a pretty smile on her face. Absolutely flawless, almost angelic. And she would say the same about him because looking at him right now made her realise he was the only one she wanted next to him for the rest of her life. And that was the moment they both thought “I have to do everything I can to cancel the wedding because there was no way they would give up on their love just yet.
So the next morning, when they both woke up for a short night sleep, they both needed to leave for work, but both of them went to meet with their parents. Tom went to his parent’s office in the official headquarters and found them drinking some tea and replying to emails, as they normally do by the morning.
“Mom, dad. I know you won’t like what I have to say but I won’t marry that girl. And I really don’t care what you think, because I love someone else and I can’t see myself marrying someone I don’t truly love.”
“I’m sorry Tom, but if you won’t do it the easy way, we’ll do it the hard way.” Dom started saying, resting his glasses over the table.
“And what’s the hard way?”
“First of all, you’ll get fired from your job and we won’t make you a recommendation letter for a new job, nor we’ll give you money for surviving.”
“What the fuck? You wouldn’t do that.”
“Yes, we would. Also, you have to consider that if we don’t go through with this wedding, we’ll lose tons of money.” His mother said and he sighed, closing his eyes.
“This is so fucked up…” Tom rubbed his face and sat down in front of his mom. She tried to reach him to comfort him, but he dodged her hand.
“At least give the other girl a chance.”
“I don’t know, okay? I mean, I hope you know you’re literally ruining my life forever, you know that? And I hope you know that for the rest of your lives, looking at all of your sons, married to the girls they love and knowing that one of them doesn’t love his wife as the other ones do.” They all fell into silence and Tom sighed. “I’ll meet the girl, but I’m not promising I’ll appear for the wedding.”
“I can arrange for you two to meet.” Dom said and Tom nodded.
“And she’s on board with all of this?” He asked and both his parents nodded. “Fucking pathetic…”
“When are you free this week?”
“I don’t know, talk to her and I’ll see what I can do.” Tom exited and Nikki ran after his son, finding him waiting for the elevator with tears in his eyes.
“Son, please. I know this is the worst, but you gotta make sacrifices for the family. We’re about to go bankrupt and if you marry that girl, her family promised to help us get back on our feet.”
“I know this is important for the family mum, but you know, I always thought about marriage and how I someday wanted to marry someone I truly loved. And I found her and she’s spectacular. But now I can’t marry her because of this stupid shit you’re pulling and I’ll do it anyway because I care too much about you all.”
“I’m so sorry Tom.” She said and he stepped into the lift.
“No, you’re not.”
While Tom was confronting his parents, (Y/N) completely ignored her own work, driving to her aunt’s office where she knew she would find both her parents and her aunt. They were about to have a serious conversation and they were gonna have to listen to her ramble on about everything on her mind. Luckily they were found having a meeting on a reserved room and it was so confidential that security tried to keep you away, but when your aunt noticed something going on, she allowed her niece to come in.
“We need to talk.” She said, throwing her bag on a chair and not even bothering sitting down. (Y/N) crossed her arms and stared at her parents and aunt. Harry and Alice stared at her with concern in his eyes, but Amelia lifted an eyebrow and leaned back into her seat.
“Come in, (Y/N).” She said, pouring herself some water.
“We need to talk about the wedding.” She said and her aunt nodded, pointing to a chair.
“Sit down, darling.” Her father said and she did, trying to remain calm because the screaming wasn’t going to get her anywhere.
“First question, why are you doing this? How is it good for the family or the company?”
“Well, the family that owns the other company is almost going bankrupt by themselves, but a little research said that if we unite both our business, it will be beneficial for all of us.” Her aunt started and (Y/N) frowned.
“And why do I have to get married for the companies to come together?”
“Because technically we can’t just simply say we got together because of the money, it would look bad for press and the industry. A marriage would be the perfect reason to unite both companies and that’s why after we do it, we’re gonna ask you to leave your job in the magazine to come lead around here, with a big rise.”
“Oh okay, so first you want me to marry someone I don’t even know and then make me leave the job I absolutely love?”
“It’s for everyone’s good, my love.” Her mom said for the first time and (Y/N) rolled her eyes.
“At least can I have a name?”
“We don’t know his name.”
“Fucking perfect.” She chuckled and crossed her arms.“What if I don’t? What will happen?”
“Their company will go bankrupt in less than a month and we’ll lose popularity quickly, and it will coast us a lot of money, maybe it’ll coast everybody’s job around here.” (Y/N) sighed and leaned back into her seat.
“It’s just so unfair, you know. You do it ALL the fucking time and I’m getting tired of seeing people in this family only married because of the money or because you don’t approve their significant others, like Rufus.”
“What about my son?” Amelia leaned up and frowned, making (Y/N) laugh.
“He’s gay, auntie. And you made him marry a rich blonde girl because you couldn’t accept the fact that he was in love with an actor.”
“Shut up!” She shouted, making her niece laugh harder.
“Don’t worry. I’ll think about doing your little dirty job, but I wanna meet the guy, tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow? Isn’t it too early?” Her dad asked and she rolled her eyes again. God, she was getting tired of rolling her eyes.
“Not for someone who’s marrying a guy they don’t know in two weeks. I already think it’s too late.” She walked to the door, rocking her heels, but turned back before she left. “Oh, just so you know, if I do what you’re asking me, you’re all guilty of my unhappiness since I’m not marrying the one I wanted to.”
Nobody dared to say another word and she left after a small nod from herself and a crooked smile. She had to see that guys face for once but was ready to run away with Tom after that. The day was hard for both of them, would they go through with the wedding and leave the person they loved the most or would they help their family? It wasn’t easy to decide and they needed time. Tom denied the request of meeting the girl tomorrow since he had a big meeting and she understood, not bothering much about meeting him because it would be pointless.
The week went by and both of them couldn’t get together to meet the one they were about to marry, too busy with work for that, but always finding time to go to each other’s apartment to spend the night together. They couldn’t tell the other what was going on, it was too painful and they had to enjoy it all until there was no time left. Tom lied awake almost every night he had her on his arms, thinking how hard it will be to tell her and maybe come up with a way to tell her soon because he couldn’t keep lying to her.
During the last week before the wedding, (Y/N)’s sister went dress hunting with her and they both had a long conversation about weddings and about everything that was going on. Olivia was getting married soon, but she was lucky enough to pick her own husband and being so in love with him that no one could break them apart and that was all (Y/N) wanted.
“I’m disgusted with what they’re doing to you.” Olivia said from outside the cabin. A nice lady was adjusting the dress in your body. “I mean, it’s so unfair. It makes me want to call off my own wedding because I don’t think it’s fair to you.”
“No, Liv. Seriously, don’t do this. Marry that guy because I know he’s incredible and this is what you deserve.”
“But this is not what you deserve, (Y/N).” She said and (Y/N) lowered her eyes to her dress.
“Okay miss, I think it’s good.” The lady said and she stepped out of the cabin to show the dress to her sister.
“Wow.” He sister started, jaw-dropping in a second. The dress was transparent, all decorated with little shinning rocks, forming a beautiful rosé dress. She looked absolutely stunning. “You look amazing!”
“I don’t know, maybe I should go with a simple white dress. I don’t even am excited about this wedding.”
“Babe, no! You’re already doing something you didn’t want to be doing. You deserve at least a pretty dress.”
“I wish I would be wearing this to marry Tom.” She said, with eyes full of tears. “God, leaving him will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
“I’m really sorry, darling.” Olivia held her sister into a tight hug. “Just know that you look absolutely gorgeous.”
“Thank you.” She cleaned a tear away and smiled at her sister. “Now, let’s go find your dress darling.”
Tom’s mom picked is suit for him because he couldn’t even bring himself to choose what to wear because he decided to do it for his family and he still hasn’t met the girl. Harrison was the only one besides the family that knew and was invited for the wedding. Tom said he couldn’t do it if Harrison wasn’t there.
“It’s two days before the wedding and I haven’t even met my wife, or told (Y/N) about everything. And I don’t think I’ll even have one last night with her, because she said she’ll be away for a job this weekend.”
“This sucks. But I guess you’ll just have to call her or something. I don’t know, you can’t marry the other girl without telling (Y/N). She’s the love of your life and she deserves to know why you’re leaving her.”
“I know, I’ll call her, I promise.”
But Tom kept postponing it while (Y/N) kept avoiding him and suddenly the day of the wedding came. Tom hadn’t slept all night, too worried about what was going to happen and that (Y/N) wouldn’t take his calls. (Y/N) also didn’t sleep much that night, but got some rest close to dawn. The wedding was going to be in her aunt’s backyard and since early in the morning there were people setting the wedding and making everything look perfect, even though it was a corrupted wedding. She slept in the house and was woken up by her sister with a good breakfast.
“I know today will be awful, but I want to at least try pleasing you with a good breakfast.”
“Thank you, Liv.” (Y/N) smiled at her sister and took the cup of tea she got. “I’m nervous and I’m avoiding Tom.”
“You shouldn’t and you know that.” She nodded and her sister fixed her hair. “Finish your breakfast and call him, please.”
“Okay.”
But she didn’t, not because she didn’t want to, but because her room started to get crowded with people wanting to get her ready for the wedding. They did everything they possibly could do with her such as facial masks, a good shower with hair hydration, finishing with the makeup and hairstyle. Her face was gorgeous and they left her alone for a while before putting the dress on. That was when she found the time to run to the balcony and have a cigarette to calm her nerves and maybe find somewhere quiet to have the hardest conversation of her life.
While she was lighting up the cigarette in the balcony, Harrison parked his car where he was supposed to park with Tom sitting right next to him, completely distracted and with dark bags under his eyes. He was still glancing down to his phone, waiting for a reply or maybe a sign that she was still alive somehow. Maybe he could still get to say he loved her for the last time before ruining everything or before knowing she was upset with him, especially to be doing this over the phone. And just before he started dialling her number, his phone started to ring.
“Tom?” She asked.
“Hey, baby. I’ve been calling you.” He said and the pain in his chest started to come out again.
“I know, I’m sorry. I’ve been avoiding you. We should talk.”
“Yeah, we should.” He stepped out of the car and started to walk towards a bench in the front garden. “I’ve been avoiding you too.”
“First, before we talk, I need you to know that I love you so much and that you’re the love of my life. I know it’s too early to say something like that because we’ve not been dating for long, but I feel it deep in my heart.” She started to tear up, which made her sit down on the ground, feeling her legs turning to jelly.
“I love you too. And I don’t care if it’s too early because I love you more than anything in the world.” He started crying himself.
“That’s why what I’m about to say to you is the hardest thing in the world. I tried to postpone it the most and it sucks that we’re having this conversation over the phone.” Tom started listening to her saying the sentence twice as if she was close. He started to look around to see if it was something from his own head and it probably was. “But we have to break up because I’m about to do something I’ll regret for the rest of my life just to help my family and it sucks that its price is our relationship. I’m being forced to marry some guy today and I don’t even know him, all of this just to help the family business.”
“Wait, what?” He asked, frowning. “I was calling you to tell the same thing.”
“What the fuck? Tom, where are you?”
“I’m at the wedding, in the front garden.”
(Y/N) hung up and ran for the front garden as fast as she could, not even bothering on putting some clothes on or even shoes. And there she was barefoot, running in her silky robe with only her underwear underneath it. She left Tom confused and calling her name when she hung up. A lot of people tried to talk to her such as her own mother, aunt and even her cousin Rufus, but she didn’t care what they were saying. Could Tom be the one they were forcing you to marry? She got the confirmation once she stepped outside the house. Harrison was standing right next to her, but all she could focus was on the guy standing in front of the bench, talking to his phone with tears in his eyes.
“(Y/N)?” He called one more time and she smiled.
“I’m right here Tom.” She spoke softly and Tom turned to her, hanging up the phone and keeping it in his pocket. Harrison slowly walked into the house, closing the door to give them some privacy.
“Oh my God.” He ran to her and pulled her off the ground, spinning her around as if he didn’t believe what was in front of him. “You’re the one I’m supposed to marry today?”
“I guess so.” She said with a big smile on her face, rubbing his cheek with her thumb. “God, I had no idea it was you.”
“If I knew it was you, I would have been on board with all of this since day one.”
“Me too.” She said and he finally closed it with a long passionate kiss. “I love you so much.”
“I love you so much too.” He said between kisses and finally settled her on the floor. “I had no idea how to tell you about everything and it was the worst feeling in the world, knowing I would have to walk away from you and never come back. It was so unfair.”
“I know it was, but it’s okay, we’re okay now. I don’t think it could be more okay than this.”
“Marry me, (Y/N).” He whispered against her lips and she nodded, pulling him into another kiss.
“Yes, I will, a million times yes!”
By that time, the whole front garden was crowded with their whole family wanting to know what was going on, finding them kissing and wondering what was going on. How did they know each other and how’s this happening. The only one smiling was Harrison because he was the only one who knew what was going on.
“What the fuck is happening here.” Alice, (Y/N)’s mother, asked once she saw her daughter kissing the boy.
“Mom, dad, Liv. I would like you to meet my boyfriend Tom. Coincidentally he’s the one I was supposed to marry today.”
“We didn’t know you had a boyfriend.” Her father said and she smiled.
“It’s because I never told you about any of my relationships and this one wasn’t much different.”
“So, are you all happy with the wedding after all?” Harry asked and they both nodded, looking into each other’s eyes.
“That’s how you end a good love story.” Harrison mumbled and Tom smiled at him.
“Okay, this is confusing.” Her aunt said and (Y/N) suggested that they should go inside so they could all talk.
So they all catch up on what was happening and what actually happened the past two weeks and it was completely crazy but everyone understood it. Tom and (Y/N) couldn’t believe what was going on and what was supposed to be a sad day turned to be the happiest day of their lives.
“What are you waiting for, you idiots? Go get ready!” Olivia said and they both rushed to finish getting ready.
Soon the whole place was crowded with important people, like family and friends from work. It was going to be a small ceremony and super simple. But since it was with the right person, nothing else mattered, because they would do it even if they were all alone. Amelia did a good job decorating her backyard and everything looked so simple and beautiful, with lots of flowers and fairy lights. It seemed perfect, but yet, maybe it was the occasion that made everything better.
Tom was over the moon and nervous at the same time. He walked down the small aisle and waited for his bride anxiously, sometimes looking at Harrison to get some reassurance of what he was doing, receiving some comfort from his best friend. He nodded, still too nervous to think. But (Y/N) stepped out of the house with her father and she looked absolutely flawless like some heaven-sent light lied over her and all he could see was her, all he could hear was their heartbeats. She could take his breath away with a simple smile and right now she was killing him in every possible way. He fought the urge to cry once he saw her but he couldn’t, tearing up once she approached him. Tom was all she could see as well and he looked fantastic. It was meant to be, she knew it because it wouldn’t have happened that way if it wasn’t meant to be.
“You look so beautiful.” He said between tears, facing lighting up once she touched their hands.
“You look beautiful too.” She said with a wide smile.
“This dress…” He was breathless and couldn’t get to say the words. “This dress can take anyone’s breath away.”
“You know, when I went to try on dresses, I didn’t want this one because I imagined getting married to you in this and I didn’t want to marry some other guy with this one.”
“I guess it was all meant to be.”
It was a simple ceremony, where there were beautiful things said to each other, an exchange of rings and a big kiss in the end. They couldn’t be happier with what was happening. They loved each other and they would love each other through all eternity. The party was so good, with good food and drinks and lots of music. Also, it was an opportunity for them to meet the family.
“Liv, this is Tom, the one I talked to you about.” (Y/N) said, introducing them.
“It’s so good to finally meet you.” Tom said standing his hand in the air, which Olivia slapped it away, pulling him into a hug.
“We’re family now and I’m glad you’re here to make my sister happy.”
“I’m glad I’m here too.”
“It’s good to meet you too, Tom.” She leaned back and they both smiled. “I’m glad it all worked out in the end, (Y/N) was devastated that she wasn’t marrying you.
“Well, Tom was devasted as well.” Harry approached them and rested one hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Can I finally meet the girl you lied to us about.”
“You lied about me?” She asked raising her eyebrows and he laughed.
“I just said I didn’t have a girlfriend, you did the same thing silly.” He bumped her nose and (Y/N) stepped forward to hug Harry.
“Nice to meet you, Harry.”
“It’s nice to meet you too, (Y/N).” They smiled and Tom chuckled, pulling his wife into a hug.
“I wish we all had met in another circumstance but this is nice.”
“Come on, you idiots! Let’s dance.” Harrison pulled them to the dancefloor where everyone was enjoying the party.
It was a different wedding, a weird one, but they’d do it all again. There was the sign of the universe that they were meant to be together and it was just amazing. The wedding was perfect in its own way and of course, they’d do another one in time with all of their friends and everything. But this one represented so much more for both of them. So they danced to every song and had the time of their lives. Also, it was a great opportunity to meet the family, which they all did. Tom couldn’t get his hands off his wife, or his eyes at all. She was perfect and everyone got to agree with him.
“(Y/N), can I talk to you?” Amelia said, pulling her niece alone to the side and she nodded. “I wanted to apologize to you because after looking at you and Tom together, I can see how much you love that kid. You were really meant to be and if you married someone else, it would make you miserable.”
“Thank you, auntie. I really appreciate it.”
“I bought you both a little something. I was already giving it before and I made sure to get the best place to redeem myself, but here are your tickets for the honeymoon.” She said giving her some tickets to Greece.
“Oh, this is great, thank you!” She held the tickets between her hands and tried to find Tom with her eyes, but found Rufus having a fight with his wife. “Actually auntie, I wanted to ask you something.”
“Anything, (Y/N).”
“Please let Rufus divorce his wife and finally be happy. You know he deserves to be happy. It would be the biggest gift for me and I would even give these back to you if you want it.”
“Keep it.” Her aunt said and looked at Rufus still arguing with his wife.
“You know he’s unhappy, think about it.” She said and her aunt nodded.
“Maybe this whole thing taught us all a lesson.”
“I hope it did.” (Y/N) smiled and walked away to find Tom, who was doing shots with his brothers in the back with his tie already up around his head.“Oh my God, baby, don’t get trashed at our own wedding.”
“I married the woman of my dreams!” He shouted and kissed her passionately. “I love you, baby. I love you so much.”
“I love you too.” She gave him another quick peck and showed him the tickets. “Tom, we’re going to Greece for our honeymoon!”
“That’s amazing!” He shouted and she smiled at her dorky husband. “I’m truly happy.”
“I am too.”
“Lovebirds. The driver is waiting to get you to your hotel room.” Olivia said and (Y/N) frowned.
“Hotel room?”
“A little gift from me and Wyatt. Enjoy the little surprises I have for you there.”
“Come on Tom, let’s go.”
(Y/N) pulled him and they said goodbye to everyone, leaving right after. They made out a lot in the car, starting what was going to be an all-night thing. They were extremely happy and everything was now perfect. The hotel room was one of the nicest they’d ever seen, with a lot of gifts all over it, such as alcohol and even some sex toys which made you both embarrassed and excited for tonight.
“Your sister is naughty.” He said, pulling her into a kiss mid-laugh.
“I know, she’s such a pervert.” She said kissing him again.
“You know darling, I love you in this dress but you look so good without it.” He ran his hands down her body, grabbing her ass tightly.
“So come take it off.” She pulled him to bed and he sighed.
“Oh, fuck, I will.”
That was the perfect ending for the perfect day and they felt more intimate than they ever felt before. I was so good that they didn’t even notice the sun coming up, too busy being each other’s to care. In the end, they could only get the conclusion that they were meant to be.
…………………
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Thoughts on:
The Love Witch
This film starts exactly like Lolita
Great aesthetics!
Oooooh she committed a murder
Yassssss queen kill your abusive husband
Yasss queen join a cult
Yassssss queen kill a cop
Adorable dress
I'm in love with this film
I'm in love with harp lady
Poor random park lady
This man is pregaming hard
I'm a vegetarian and this stake looks good
And I oop
Hahaha a tiddy
My first in years
That's an upskirt....
Oh no he's Dead
Oh to go around my Victorian apartment in only a thong
Lmao tampon tea
Omg her poor cat
Bath magic
Her hair in this scene ♥️♥️♥️♥️
Her dress ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Oooooh her costume
Bich marry me
Omg I love this movie
Call the cops bitch what they gonna do? believe you? A woman?
Elaine really gave this man a drop of wine in a fuckinh buckey
Omg more tittes
Did we really need a 12 second eating clip
But that cookie actually looks delicious
This Tie die outfit.....
She knows damn well that's her tampon
HORSIES
I wanna go to a ren fairre
Wtf is there a dude dressed as a horse
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA THE SUN LMFAO
They r c cute
This song ♥️
Her hair is so pretty
I'm in love with the singers
This girl done got kidnapped by the fae
Did this man have the biggest fattest fucking meat
Feed me grapes mommy
Why is the black cop the only one with common sense
POLICE BRUTALITY
Damn he got the Stanley Uris treatment
I'm gay for the girl in the background
Did this girl just pull out an iPhone in 1969
Is this a fuckinh sex alter
Wait she was wearing a fuckinh wig?!
Bitch just came to her house and wore her shit huh?
She really just stole shit and beat her ass huh?
TITTIEZ
Bro these girls aren't even fucking twins
Did he just COMMAND her!
Hell to the no
PUT HER DOWN
NOOOOO
If this ends with rape I'm gonna be mad
This is like a drug trip
Holy fuck this ending
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Brian May Exclusive Enterview: Queen, Debauchery and Freddie Mercury (May 21, 2017)
Originally from The Times (which you have to pay to read) but found on SpearHead News (who republished the whole thing for free and I love them for it). Not sure if people had seen it much before but Rock Dad Brian May is v sweet, and the spearhead link has images attached.
Tragedy, debauchery … and dwarves — the guitarist Brian May gives Krissi Murison an access-all-areas account of his life with Freddie Mercury and rock’s most flamboyant band.
by The Sunday Times
Brian May does a great Freddie Mercury impression. He leans forward in his chair, clasps his hands together conspiratorially and channels the high-speed, staccato delivery of the greatest showman of the late 20th century: “ ‘I had an idea … you know Michael Jackson did this album and it’s called Bad?’ Yeah, Fred. ‘Well, the album we’re making, we could call it Good.’ ”
May laughs. “He would always knock you sideways. Sometimes it was great and sometimes it wasn’t.”
The visitors to Freddie’s dressing room started to change from hot chicks to hot men. It didn’t matter to us — why should it?
May, the guitarist in Queen since their 1970 inception, remembers when Mercury finally announced to him that he was gay, “years after it was obvious”. “In the beginning, the band lived on a shoestring. We couldn’t afford individual hotel rooms, so I would share a room with Freddie … There isn’t a lot I don’t know about Freddie and what he got up to in those days — which was not men, I have to tell you. It was fairly obvious when the visitors to Freddie’s dressing room started to change from hot chicks to hot men. It didn’t matter to us, why should it? But Freddie had this habit of saying, ‘Well, I suppose you realise this, that or the other,’ in this very offhand way, and he did say at some point, ‘I suppose you realise I’ve changed in my private life?’
“And years later, he said, ‘I suppose you realise that I’m dealing with this illness.’ Of course, we all knew [he had Aids], but we didn’t want to. He said, ‘You probably gather that I’m dealing with this thing and I don’t want to talk about it and I don’t want our lives to change, but that’s the situation.’ And then he would move on.”
Dredging through old memories has been the subject of May’s latest project: a compilation book of his personal collection of 3D photos from his time striding around the globe during Queen’s heady reign of stadium-rock supremacy. The accompanying words mark the first time any member of Queen has written about their experiences in the band.
It is harrowing to read of Freddie’s final days and the devastating effect the HIV virus took on his body before he died in late 1991. “The problem,” May writes, “was actually his foot, and tragically there was very little left of it. Once, he showed it to us at dinner. And he said, ‘Oh Brian, I’m sorry I’ve upset you by showing you that.’ And I said, ‘I’m not upset, Freddie, except to realise you have to put up with all this terrible pain.’ ”
Equally hard is May’s belief that the “magic cocktail” of drugs that has since stopped Aids becoming a death sentence was discovered just too late to save Freddie.
“He missed by just a few months,” May sighs. “If it had been a bit later he would still have been with us, I’m sure. It’s very …” he breaks off sadly. “Hmmm. You can’t do ‘what if’ can you? You can’t go there because therein lies madness.”
Brian May on his Queen picture book and Freddie Mercury
Honestly, I had expected to meet a sanctimonious old git. May has been dubbed “the world’s grumpiest rock star” thanks to his online blog, Brian’s Soapbox, on which he posts pious rants about politics, the press, badger culls and animal rights. There are flashes of the same hectoring tone in the book. But it must be a mean trick of the typing, because in real life he seems a terribly gentle and pleasant soul.
I meet him in Windlesham, Surrey, in the vast pile where he has his offices. The bookshelves are lined with antique cameras and 19th-century volumes of Punch. In the middle of the room is a female mannequin wearing a sweeping Victorian crinoline skirt — another of May’s esoteric interests.
He wanders in wearing clogs, gardening trousers and a woven red jacket, almost as arresting as his bright grey corkscrew barnet. Under the jacket is a white shirt, unbuttoned dangerously low for someone who turns 70 in July. Bohemian chain pendants clatter against nipple as he leans in to say hello. He is very tall — or maybe that’s just the hair — and frightfully easy-going.
Tea is arranged and he briefly excuses himself. I assume he’s gone to use the facilities or take an urgent phone call. But after 20 minutes I look out the window to see him tottering around the back garden taking pictures of his rhododendron. Has he forgotten me? When he finally returns, it’s with a box containing his treasured collection of “stereoscopic” (3D) cameras and some of the original slides he took.
He shows me one of his favourites: a picture of Freddie and the Queen bassist John Deacon on a private plane in 1977. A blonde woman gazes at Freddie from the seat next to him.
“That’s Mary, his long-term girlfriend.” Despite Mercury’s sexuality, Mary Austin was his longest relationship and the woman he called “the love of my life”. “They were still very close right to the end,” May nods. “He took care of Mary in his will.”
We look at another photo of Freddie having his make-up applied before a show. “You just feel he’s so close there, don’t you?” May smiles. “It’s almost painfully real. He was this strange mixture of flamboyance and shyness,” he says, remembering his first impressions of Mercury. “He had already built this image around himself, which was very confident and colourful. He was a rock star long before he made a record. In the old days they would have called him a dandy. And more recently a metrosexual. He was like a peacock, a person who brought his own fantasy to life.”
Mercury was born Farrokh Bulsara in Zanzibar, east Africa, to Indian Parsi parents in 1946. He had already started calling himself Freddie before his family came to England, fleeing the Zanzibar revolution for Feltham in west London when he was 17. May grew up a few miles away in leafy Hampton, a studious only child who would later quit a PhD in astrophysics at Imperial College London to pursue his rock’n’roll dreams. (He eventually completed it 36 years later in 2007, specialising in zodiacal dust.)
May tells me about the day he met Freddie. The guitarist was already in a university band called Smile. One day Smile’s singer unwittingly brought his colourful, outspoken mate from Ealing Art College to watch a rehearsal. “Freddie was full of enthusiasm, really fired up,” May remembers. “He loved watching us. Then, on the other hand, he was: ‘But you’re doing all of this wrong. Why are you just standing there looking at the floor? Why aren’t you giving a show for people?’ ”
Was he angling for the frontman job himself?
“I think so. He was very complimentary to me. He said, ‘You should be my Jimi Hendrix.’ Freddie loved Hendrix, he followed him everywhere, he was like a disciple.”
A band, Queen, was born with Mercury as singer. I had no idea how revolutionary his crowd interaction was until May explains that most audiences going to watch a rock band in the early 1970s would sit on the floor, nodding. “These days groups encourage audience participation, but Freddie asking people to sing along was almost uncool in those days. It was viewed as something that might happen in cabaret. What we did, if you want to be crass about it, is we amalgamated rock with music hall. That’s why we wrote We Are the Champions, We Will Rock You and Radio Ga Ga — it was consciously allowing the audience to be part of the show.”
Then there were the outfits. May’s book features some beauties: early 1970s Freddie in flowing locks and Zandra Rhodes’s white pleated “winged” capes; gay-icon Freddie, barechested in black leather trousers and black leather biker hat; “Mediterranean prawn” Freddie with his porno moustache, bouffant wig and strappy red leotard.
Wasn’t he scared of getting beaten up?
“No, not really. There were times when we went, Fred, are you really going on in that? I think the maroon sequin shorts were close to the edge as far as we were concerned. But he loved to outrage people. We were very much a people’s band. If people stopped us in the street and got excited, it was generally bricklayers or truck drivers. Freddie had an amazing way of being in contact with everyone, making people feel like their inner selves were going to come out. We liberated a lot of people.”
Mercury the daring peacock, May the soft-spoken brainiac … it is hard not to see them as two polar opposites, but May disagrees. “We were all striding around the world being big-time rock stars, but actually we’re quite fragile inside. It’s probably the reason we’re rock stars, because it’s a big compensation thing, playing a loud guitar or strutting around singing. You do it because you want to feel confident, you want to find yourself and achieve your potential.”
It says much about Mercury’s light-sapping charisma that May spent much of his time in the shadow of the singer while he was alive. And it says much about May’s strategic brilliance that he hasn’t subsequently faded into obscurity, but become the figurehead of a band that is now even more successful than it was during Mercury’s lifetime. According to this year’s Rich List, May is worth £125m, while a recent survey named Queen the favourite band among fiftysomethings.
Next year will finally see the release of a long-awaited Freddie Mercury biopic, with Rami Malek playing the singer, and May and Queen’s drummer, Roger Taylor, on board as music producers. We Will Rock You, a musical based on Queen’s hits, ran at the Dominion Theatre for 12 years from 2002. Since 2012, Queen have toured live with the American Idol finalist Adam Lambert singing Mercury’s lines (heresy in my opinion, but apparently Freddie would have loved him). Nothing, though, can eclipse May’s 2002 moment astride the top of Buckingham Palace, playing a guitar solo of God Save the Queen for the jubilee. The roof was his idea; the organisers had initially envisaged him wandering through the state rooms for the performance, but he thought it lacked impact. Perhaps he is more like Freddie than we will ever know.
Absent from any of the post-Mercury Queen activity is the bassist, John Deacon, now said to be a recluse. “I don’t see him at all, no,” says May. “It’s his choice. He doesn’t contact us. John was quite delicate all along. He could be very outgoing and very funny, but I think some of the stuff that happened in Munich gave him a lot of damage, and I think losing Freddie was very hard for him as well. He found that incredibly hard to process, to the point where actually playing with us made it more difficult.”
Munich was where Queen holed up at the end of the 1970s and early 1980s to write and record. Things got out of hand. May coyly refers to it in the book as a period of heavy drinking in a local bar, “living in a fantasy world of vodka and barmaids”.
Today he is more forthright: “We all lost our minds … we were all in a perilous place where our emotions were out of control. It manifested itself in way too much drinking, a certain amount of drugs, which I didn’t share — but certainly an awful lot of vodka went through my body. We all fell to bits. That’s the moment Freddie wrote It’s a Hard Life. If you look at the video, it’s a metaphor. There’s all this wonderful, fanciful clothing and excess of food, wine and debauchery, but Freddie’s saying ‘It’s a hard life’ as the grapes are thrust into his mouth. The Freddie writing that song was actually in a very painful, emotional place.”
It inevitably also had an impact on the band dynamic. “We overreacted with each other at times. We all left the band at some point. The studio’s a hard place for a band anyway, but in our case all four of us as writers had had worldwide hits — and I think that’s unique, I don’t think there’s another band in history where that’s true. You have four writers trying to create the next statement of what we are, so what could that statement be except a fight between the different visions? The lifestyle we led magnified that conflict.” In Deacon’s case, it culminated in “John disappearing to Bali and seeing God or whatever”.
When it comes to legendary Queen decadence, May’s book does its best to brush over the carnage. So let me be the one to remind you: there was the Madison Square Garden aftershow party at which male guests were served by topless waitresses in stockings and heels and female guests by men in nothing but gym shorts (to avoid accusations of sexism). And the champagne bill for Freddie’s 35th birthday in New York in 1981, which is said to have been £30,000. Most outrageous, though, was a 1978 album-release party in New Orleans, involving “a flock of transvestites, fire-eaters, dancing girls, snake charmers and strippers dressed as nuns”, according to Mark Blake’s well-respected Queen biography. The tales of what happened next range from the lurid (naked mud-wrestling, public fornication) to the unprintable, but perhaps the most famous involves a fleet of dwarves carrying platters of cocaine strapped to their heads. Does May remember seeing them?
“We knew a lot of dwarves,” he concedes. “I’m still very friendly with the dwarf community because my wife, Anita, used to do pantomimes. I don’t want to sound big-headed, but I’m pretty big in the dwarf world. I’ve spent many long nights propping up bars with dwarves.”
Of New Orleans, he says: “We chose to launch the album there because it was completely broad-minded. We knew a lot of people on the ‘edge of society’, as you would have called it then. You wouldn’t call it that now, you’d call it LGBTBF or whatever it is now. To that party came all sorts of pretty outrageous performers of every sex — and there are a lot! It was fun, nothing sinister went on at all. Nobody was abused, nobody was taken advantage of.”
Fat Bottomed Girls — I was proud of that song. The nude photoshoot was fun at the time, but I wouldn’t find it amusing now. Attitudes change
He would rather distance himself from some of Queen’s less politically correct japes. “For instance, Fat Bottomed Girls. I am very proud of that song, but as part of the album packaging we had this nude [female] bicycle race for a photo session and it all seemed quite innocent and fun at the time. Now I wouldn’t think that was amusing. Attitudes have changed to lots of things.”
He was far from the hardest-partying member of Queen. He’s never even tried drugs, having decided while still a student that “I want to get to the end of this and know that everything I felt was real”.
His weakness was always “company”. He bemoans his sensitive and emotionally immature nature, which meant he was endlessly trawling the world for “the perfect bond with the perfect partner … the place where you could dissolve with someone to the point where you don’t know where they start and you end.”
Did he ever find it? “No, it’s impossible. I’ve glimpsed it. Various times, various moments. But it’s a wonderful fiction, really.”
Don’t feel too bad for him. While he was searching, his then-wife, Chrissie Mullen, was stuck at home with their three children.
“It was very different in those days. There were no mobile phones and phone calls were incredibly expensive if you were on the other side of the world. There was this feeling that life on the road was this separate bubble from your life back home. Nowadays you can’t even begin to think that because communication is so good. We lived in a time that was very exciting, but lonely because you were cut off. You were exploring the frontiers of what was around you, but also the frontiers of what was inside you. In the same way as people who went to look for the Northwest Passage in the 1950s. It felt a bit like you were an explorer in another universe.”
As justifications for adultery go, I suppose it’s a pretty classy one.
He met his second wife, Anita Dobson — aka Angie, the original Queen Vic landlady from EastEnders — in 1986 at a film premiere, while he was still married to Mullen. He and Dobson wed in 2000. There was much amusement in the early days about them both having the same huge poodle perms — though May’s is the real deal and Dobson has been platinum and straight for some time now. In his book’s acknowledgments, he thanks her for managing to live with “possibly the most infuriating man in Britain for 30 years”.
“I know I’m not easy,” he says. “I’m constantly obsessed with one thing or another — astronomy, stereoscopy, music, saving animals … Living with someone like that is appallingly difficult, so I think she deserves a medal. I’m not going to tell you she’s easy, either. She’s an artist and a fearsomely creative person, so our life has always been turbulent, but I suppose that’s what’s kept us young.”
He has previously spoken about the depression he suffered from in the late 1980s and early 1990s, as he dealt with the fallout from his first marriage breaking down and the deaths of both his father and Mercury. Last year he cancelled a tour due to a mystery “persistent illness”. And on Christmas Day he published an alarming blog on Brian’s Soapbox. “I’ve been going through some radical and painful changes in my life … if you had seen me a few weeks ago, you would’ve wondered if I was going to make it to Christmas,” he wrote, before publishing a “tool kit” of apps, a book and a prayer to help others struggling to cope “physically or mentally or spiritually”.
“I went through a very bad period before Christmas and cancelled everything, not just the tour, everything,” he explains. “I just knew I couldn’t handle it.”
Would he call it depression?
“Strangely enough I prefer not to call it depression now. I’ve recently got very much into the body and mind. All my life I’ve been pathetic at doing exercises. I now have a regime — every morning I do 40 minutes’ exercise, then I finish with meditation. It’s really enabled me to recentre. I feel like I’m in a much better place.”
He is an advocate of mindful meditation — a way of living in the present that he believes Mercury used in the final days of his illness. May is happy to speak openly about his own mental health. “I noticed Prince Harry opened up in a similar way. I’ve always thought it’s nice to be open and I get reinforced in that because I get tons of mail saying the fact that you talked about it has helped me feel like I wasn’t alone and wasn’t a freak. I don’t think all this taboo business is helpful at all.”
I wonder if it might be a better use of his platform than his zealous activism on behalf of badgers, which seems a rather niche concern. In brief, then: he is a fierce campaigner against the policy of culling badgers to try to eradicate bovine TB. It is his scientific belief that the cull isn’t working. But it is muddled by his more deep-seated conviction: “Martin Luther King said we hold it self-evident that every man is born equal. I hold it self-evident that every creature is born equal.”
He can point to numerous childhood traumas that led him to this conclusion: watching his mother pour boiling water over an invasion of ants on the path outside his house; squirting a bumblebee with the pesticide DDT, then recoiling in shame as it dropped to the ground, buzzing to its slow and agonising death. If he hasn’t yet had therapy for the latter, he really should.
The animal fanaticism is odd, because on everything else he seems so calmly rational. Perhaps he learnt some of that composure from Freddie. Despite his pain, Freddie was determined to keep working during the band’s final days together in a recording studio in Montreux.
“What we did was get on with business as usual, which is what Freddie wanted,” May remembers. “He said, ‘I don’t want anything to change. We just do what we always do and we love what we do, so it’s going to be fine.’ Certainly those days towards the end were fabulous, full of laughter and joy, Freddie as wicked as ever. He was incredibly matter-of-fact about everything. ‘Oh darling, I’ll just get on with it.’ There wasn’t any self-pity at all. He wanted a ballad, so I very quickly sketched something in the studio and Freddie liked it. He said, ‘Gimme some words’. It was a question of scribbling a few lines and he’d chuck a couple of vodkas down — because he could hardly stand at that point — ‘Oh darling, I’ll do it now.’ Then he’d prop himself up on the desk and sing the lines. We didn’t quite get to the end. I gave him the last verse and he said, ‘Oh darling, I’m not feeling too good now, so I’ll come back to it. In a couple of days I’ll be fine, we’ll do it then.’ And he never did.”
May finished the song after Mercury’s death. It’s called Mother Love, “an attempt from the two of us to look at life and sum it up, to reconcile the end with the beginning, although we wouldn’t have put it that way.”
What does he think Freddie would be doing now if he were still alive? “I don’t think he’d have the patience for social media, because I hardly do and he was much more impatient than me. I don’t think he would be tweeting, he would probably be still writing his little memos on pieces of paper. He was becoming more and more reclusive towards the end of his life. That was partly because he was becoming more and more visible, but partly not wanting his illness to be public. But he was very private anyway and I think that would have continued.”
He is adamant Mercury would still be creating music. “His creativity would have carried on. He was unstoppable and very lateral-thinking. Always coming up with things that were surprising. Often Roger and I, if we’re creating something for Queen, both of us have said that we feel like he’s in the room and you know what he’d say. You can tell if he would have been scornful or enthusiastic — although of course the whole thing about Freddie was that he wasn’t expected.”
We have touched upon May’s depression, infidelity, the painful death of one of his closest friends and the painful death of a bee. Yet there is one subject so sensitive, I have avoided raising it until the very end. His hair. He hates talking about it, but he must on some level like the attention it brings, otherwise why doesn’t he just cut it off?
“I’m comfortable with it,” he says. “It’s completely real. For a time when it was going grey I got very worried that I had to keep it a certain way or I wouldn’t be me any more. Anita encouraged me not to worry about it.”
Would he ever cut it off?
“If it would achieve world peace, I’d do it tomorrow. If it would stop the badger cull, I’d probably do it tomorrow. Because the badger cull is a worthless, senseless operation, it’s not working and sooner or later our government has to realise …”
The images in May’s new book are not just any photos, but 3D pictures, taken on one of the Queen guitarist’s prized “stereoscopic” cameras.
Alongside music, astronomy and badgers, May is deliriously passionate about 3D photography. He first became hooked, aged 12, when Weetabix gave away free stereoscopic picture cards. He petitioned his parents to send off 1s 6d for the photo viewer so he could see them properly in 3D. “It’s probably about £2.50 by today’s money. But we were poor in those days — £2.50 was a lot of heating and lighting.”
“Stereoscopic” photography was originally a Victorian phenomenon and May’s book is published through the London Stereoscopic Company, a 19th-century business he brought back to life in 2008. He has also designed and prototyped his own stereoscopic photo viewer, the Owl, to see the images in their full, 3D majesty; it comes with the book. “It’s just magic to me,” he says, “when you see a picture of Freddie in the viewer and he springs to life.”
#brian may#queen#freddie mercury#roger taylor#john deacon#bohemian rhapsody#borhap#the angry lizard speaks
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